Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-10-14

w tAdL! Nearly all the DOarueFS are
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
Gentle hint: Danseusc--Baron. if l
were to receive bracelet anonymous.
ly tomorrow morning, should be sure
that it came from you.-Fliegendc
Blaetter.
The golfers scorn: First golfer-Did
you hear about Viewer? He's learning
to play lawn tennis. Second golfer--He
must be paying an election bct--BrookY
lyn Life.
Are you one of the striking miners:"
asked the woman at the door. Yes.
mum. Pm what dey call pioneer.
struck thirty years ago, and I've never
give in yet.'-Detroit Free Press.
A real surprise: Ethcl-So he drop
ped right down on his knees and pro-
posed? Dear me! Did you say ''This
is SO sudden!' Penelope-Oh. no! 1:
was so unexpected, you know:Puck.
Mrs. Peck-If had my life to so
over again, l wouldn't marry the best
man alive. Mr.. II. Peck (his chance mt
last)-Iou bet you wouldn't. wouldn't
ask you o.-Philadelphia North Amer
ican
The butls2-Hand hevery night at
the hour of midnight the ghost hap
pears and groans and wrings it's hands.
American tourist-Ah! Must have died
In the cucumber season-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Old lady-This must be very
healthy place. Now, what may the
death rate be? Gravedigger--Wo
full steady, mum-wonderful steady.
Just one death to each person right
ong-Sketcll.
Il must have been fool when !
married. said little Tompkyns, glar
ing fiercely ut his wife Certainly, my
DEAR" said Mrs. Tompkyns, sweetly;
ut couldn't come on SO badly all in two
years, could it"'-Iit-Bits.
Poor Robinson. There goes his fun.
eral." What, is Robinson dead?" II
imagine he is. Perhaps he is just rid
ing around town in that hearse for the
fun OF the thing, however. "-Cincin.
natl Commercial Tribune.
Miss Grabbs declares her girl
friends can't deny that her attachment
to that gentleman with title was Il
case of love at first sight That's
very true replied Miss Cayenne: she
saw him first" -Washington Star.
Customer-You remember you sold
me this coat yesterday? You said you
would return the money if it wasn't
satisfactory. Clothing merchant-Rur,
| my dear sir, it vos quite satisfactory:
nefer had peter money rs dot in all my
life.Puck.
Doctor-If you must know, ma'am,
your husband won't live twenty-four
hours longer. Goodness gracious"
| calculated the broken hearted but
| economical woman, land here you've
gone and prescribed medicine enough
for FIVE days" Bits.
Fairly fresh: May from the hoteD-
So you're staying at a farmhouse?
Everything fresh, and all that. sup
pose? Maude-Oh, yes, indeed! Why.
after he got through milking last night
the farmers son came around and pro-
posed to Brooklyn Life.
Amateur theatrical heroine Qndig
nantly}-You say you don't think the
| persons in the back Of the audience can
hear US speak our lines: Professional
coacher-No: hut don't let that worry
YOU. They can hear the prompter; so
they won't lose track Of the play
Puck.
Charitable old lady Ito little beggar
gIl)-There's some bread for you. 1t is
a day or two old, but you can tell your
mother to take three or four fresh eggs,
a quart Of milk. cup of sugar, some
good butter and half a grated nutmeg.
and she can make a very excellent pud.
din. of it.-Tid- Bits.
As he finished drinking his soda he
| laid his hands upon the fountain In an
unobtrusiye way and remarked, II sup
pose this is charged:' Yes said the
drawer. reaching under the counter for
a pistol; $50 is this 1.-The moneys
yours said the drinker. throwing
down a dime.-Boston Transcript.
yesterday" said Jabson, 81 refused
q Door woman a request for a small sum
Of money, and in consequence Of my act
l passed a sleepless night. The tones
/ of her voice were ringing in my ears
| the whole time" Your softness OF
heart does you credit" said MADISON:
"who was the woman" MY wife,
! It'd Bits.
1t was past midnight, and NJ. TYRE
mort was fumbling about in the hall
and mumbling angrily to himself
whats the natter" called out Nine.
| Ivremort from the floor above. There's
two hat-racks here" he answered. IAN
I don't know which one to hang my
| hat on" "Oh, hang one on each and
come to bed."-Petit Journal Pour Rire
L