Crawford avalanche., 1897-04-29


Heller hair is like sunshine! She
Ye-es; it's brighter some days than
others.-Puck.
she-I can sympathize with you.
was married once myself. He-But you
weren't married to a. swDman.-Tid-
Bits. ~ shi ~ 'rt
She Coming up suddenly )-1Where
did that wave go? He (cGughifig and
strangling)-I swallowed it.ADublin
World.
MelIcent-Aren't bicycle lamps an
noying? Miriam (vexatiously) Yes;
mine goes out every timeI run into
anybodyLPuck. .gkSAg 10 bys+css
Dora-He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like. Cora-Whnt
was that? Dora-Another mans arm.
Detroit Free Press.
Nevada Justice (solemnly)-I now
pronounce you husband and wife
shake hands-take your corners-and
may the best man win!-Puck.
"Now, they speak of her as an up-to-
date girl. What do you understand by
that?" my boy, a girl that is up to
date Is up to anything."-Puck.
Flim-I see where Boston is going to
spend over $1,000,O00 on those pneu-
matte tubes. Flam-That's lot Of
money to blow in.-Boston Post.
"The world owes every man a liv-
ing" Eyes, and we don't get 1t col
lected until we have almost learned to
do without it."-Chicago Record.
would you consider it proper to pre-
cede the father Of your sweetheart
down stairs?" "It may be proper, but
it isn't always safe."-Yale Record.
$50, Dorothy is not going to marry
Mr.. Scrymser?" "No; she kept talking
to him about books he hadn't read, and
he got irritated and broke the engage
nt."-Puck.
The Footpad-Only dollar and
quarter? Come, where's the rest Of yer
| money? Mr.. Isaacs-Mein frendt, it's
in real esdate undt it's in my vife's
name!Puck.
Girl-His spine is hurt. Another Girl
over. Girl-Oh, no. He can still play
half-back, or quarter-b back, anyway
Detroit Journal.
"There are six necessities, you know,
for n happy marriage" what are
they?" First, n good husband" "And
the othersT "The other five are mon
ey."-La Caricature.
"Do you think, Harry, you could in
duce one or two boys to come to Sun
day school?" II could bring onc," he
replied; "de udder fellers in our alley
kin lick me."-Dublin World.
"How is it that Wilson comes to the
club every night now? 1t used to be
that we couldn't get him here once a
month" "Oh, he married last fall and
settled down." Detroit Free Press.
"Theaters ought to be seated with
the women all on one side and the men
on the other" "Why?' 80 that when
men go out between the acts they can
tramp on each others toes."-Detroit
Free Press.
Wiggs-The doctor told Browns wife
to give him whisky if he had another
attack Of the fever and ague. Wages
Has he had a relapse? Wiggs-Well.
he's been shaking for the drinks all the
fternoon.-Evening Journal.
"Your wife has such liquid voice."
said Mr.. Fosdick to Mr.. Tiff. Yes,
that's pretty good name for it," re-
piled Mr.. Tiff Mr.. Fosdick looked up
inquiringly, and Mr. Tiff added: 1T
never dries up, you know."-Harper's
Bazaar.
Artie-Darling, you have no idea how
anxious / was while you were coming
down the rope ladder. was so afraid
you had not fastened 1t securely
above Susie-You needn't have been
alarmed, dear. Papa tied the knot for
me.-Detroit Free Press.
Walker Home-I think I will get
job wild one O. desc concerns what
makes amat'ur photygraf outfits. Odor-
Gus Oliver-What? An go to work?
Walker Homework? Nav! All I'll
have to tackle will be to do de rest
an dat will JUS suit me.-Detroit Free