The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-08-01
DISSERTATION ON DIET.
Argument in Favor OF Meat Eating
and Against Vegetables.
1ldorado Kan.) Republican

Meat and grease are the things to eat.
Nobody amounts to anything who lives on
fruits and vegetables. There is not enough
energy in q wagonload of fruit, or veg
etables, to give one an idea above a goose
berry. People who live on fruit and garden
truck get but little out of life and they
always look clam-hShy and Watery in a
coffin.
No man who lives on meat was ever
known to lick his wife ask for a divorce.
Adam got into a row, right off, because ne
had no hog meat, butter or black bass
Napoleon lost Waterloo because the allied
forces had bacon for breakfast the morn
ing of the fight. The French had Vegetable
soup The South had to give in, at Apo
mattox, because they were out of meat
hog meat If the Mikado of Japan wants
his people to grow bigger, all he has to do
is TO feed them grease, ana lots of it.
When Christ fed the multitude, He gave
them fish and bread. When the Lord fed
the children of Israel, in the desert, He
gave them oil cakes and quail on toast
Nebuchadnezzar He turned him out to eat
green things, like a sheep or a billy goat
The eagle that scars the lion that roars
the hooking bird that sings lives on meat.
Patti eats half pound of Frankfurter dab
sausage at breakfast; Grant ate bacon and
fried his hard tack in the grease when he
Shakespeare ate mutton chops and drank
Scotch whisky; Byron wrote best on ham
and Holland gin, while Mckinley and Tom
Reed meat or fish three times day In
gals would have gone back to the Senate
had he not lived oatmeal, baked apples
and blind robbins.
A vegetable-diet woman is as cold and
clammy and ENJOYABLE as turnip. If you
wish to put roses in the cheeks of your
girls, vitality in their every motion and
brains in their heads, feed them meat.
The world is full of cranks who are al
ways getting up some new fad about hay
soup or cornfodder tea.
Science tells us that if we eat beef we
think beef; that animal food makes us
brutal and bloodthirsty That is not al
ways true. 1t is the follow whose stomach
is filed with oats, corn cucumbers and
other stock feed that wants to kill some
body Admitting that if you eat hog you
think hog there is no question about hogs
getting there when there is anything or
anywhere to get. Besides, some hogs know
more than some people.
Boss Leland lives on beef, bacon and pie,
and drinks applejack; and, of course, he
gets what he goes after.
Pie, with grease in the crust butter in
the film and cream all over it is the Amer
lean ideal Think of pie without grease.
filled themselves with grease, but they
poured it over them; and when the father
of Esau wanted 70 die he called for a Veni-
son pot pie so that he could die greasy ana
happy.
Remove the grease from the woman's lips
and you destroy the microbe of love and
abolish kissing. There can be no sentiment
or love without grease. There is nothing in
this world so necessary as grease and the
more of it YOU absorb inside and out the
longer YOU will live. the sweeter your dis
position, the more loving and lovable you
Will be.
Life is a battle To fight the battle, and
to successfully conquer the world, the
flesh and the devil, we must have grease.
Give us grease.