Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-12-02
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REgSSES0f

Willie-Pa, what's the "Great d.
yideY Pats what comes after an
lection.--Chicago News.
She after the quarreI-And must we
part forever, Harry? He-Weil at least
until tomorrow night. Maude.
Briggs--What kind of fellow is VIII
lowsnap? Griggs-I don't know. I've
only seen him when he was with MS
wife.-Puck.
The Counts fiancee-I received my
engagement ring to-day. Isn't 1t beau
tiful? Her frlend-very beautiful!
Have you shown it to the Count YETI
Puck.
jackson has an advertisement In
this paper which reads: Come back.
and I'll be good" HAS his wife left
him?" mo; it's the cook. Chicago
Record.
II can tell you" said he, "how much
water runs over Niagara Falls to a
quart" "How muchf' replied she.
1.-TWO pints."-Pittsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Tell me, dear, am l the first man
you ever kissed" you are the first
one who was mean and suspicious
enough to ask me that question."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
"Why is it that Chumpley always
buys another new gun at the opening
of the game season. Because the one
he had the year before never killed
anything. "-Detroit Free Press.
us that young one going to stay
awake all nightY" asked Mr.. Lush
forth, Indignantly. ''Thcre Is no right
for you to complain" retorted his wife.
HE inherits the habit from YOU"
She-What are those missing links
we hear so much about? He-Oh, they
were some golf links that were located
in a certain Western town before the
cyclone struck it.-Yonkers Statesman
Junior counsel (after stating case)--
I think our client has good cause OF
action. Senior counsel (dOubtfuily)-I
can't see it; what is it? Junior counsel
He's worth fifty thousand dollars
Puck.
Caller-In yesterdays paper you said
Miss Footlight was one Of the most
beautiful women on the stage. Why
didn't you print her picture? Editor
We never take back what we say
Puck.
A man who suffered badly went to
consult a specialist about his affiiction.
The expert asked: do you stutter all
the timer "N-n-n-no," replied the suf-
| ferer, II s-s-stut-t-ter only when
| t-t-talk."
Harriet-And so Fred Dullwich has
asked you to marry him, has he? Mar
| garet (sighing and blushing)-Yes,
night before last! Harrlet-What a
stickler he is for formalities.-Cleve-
| land Leader.
Gabber-Oh, don't talk to me about
| bicycles! I'm sick at the very thought
of 'em. You couldn't hire me to put my
head into a shop where they sell the
things. Tibber-.That would be case
of wheels within wheels, wouldn't it?
Traveller Ito the ferryman crossing
the river)-Has any one ever been lost
| in this stream? Boatman-No, sir; some
professor was drowned here last
spring, but they found him after look
ing for two weeks.-F'liegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures are you in
such deep thought about, john? Mr..
| Crimsonbeak-I was only thinking,
dear, that all the men who have gone
In search of the north pole seem to
have been married men.-Yonkers
Statesman.
"What, no telephone?" asked one Of
the regular callers at the drug store;
why did you have it taken out?" Most
of the people in the neighborhood got
to using 1t to order drugs from other
stores. / guess l can grasp business
idea once in while."-Detroit Free
Press.
sIf I had known" sobbed young Mrs.
Fitz. that you would be such a brute
TO poor Fido, would never have mar
ried YOU" my dear" replied Mr.. Fitz.
"the anticipation of kicking that mis-
cradle little beast was one of my chief
reasons for proposing to YOU It'd
Bits.
Mrs. Jones-Why, John, you've shot
n hen, Jones dndignantly)-H That.
madam, is a Shanghai Buff Cochin Leg
horn partridge, that sho. near farm
house; and, as it happened to be tame
one, and quite family pet. had to
nav for 1t. Where did you ever get
your knowledge of hens, madam
Puck.
Tram-Fd like drink, but l don't
suppose you'd want to change this s.
bill Bartender (briskly)-No trouble
about change. Here's your medicine
Tramp-Thanks. All! That's good
whisky. Bartender-Eh! Lookee here
This bill Is no good! Tramp-Yes;
said you wouldn't want to change it,
New York Weekly.
Junior-I don't know what to think
Of Miss Knice. Either she is awfully
eood-natured, or she Is half-fool. She
is smiling all the time. Senior--Ha:
she good teeth? Junior--Perfect. Sen
ior-It is safe to say she is not fool
hut 1t does not follow that she Is aw
fully good natured.-Boston Transcript
Upon what does Peakedhead bas,
!. his belief in the theory of reincarna
: tion?" ION the promise that we shall
e all pass away as a tale tina. ~ oclS.
: You see, the tales that are told do no
q pass away at all; they keep coming
| back to be told over again. That Il