The San Francisco call., 1897-12-25
THE OWL WINKED
AND "POP" WINGED
Revenue Collectors Interfere
With Sullivan's Good
Work.
The Cellars OF the Hoffman Invad ed
by the MiniOns OF the
Law.

Pop" Sullivan, he of the generous
heart, is in trouble, or rather he was
in trouble until he made elaborate ex-
planation and did divers other things
that rendered the minions of the
Treasury Department harmless.
Pop" always looks after the inter-
ests of his customers and even after
their physical welfare. He is solicit
tous that all who patronize his beau
tiful emporium of wet goods and look
upon the emblem Of wisdom which
adorns his walls should pass from his
doors exhilerated but not inebriated.
Pop" is so solicitous, in fact, that
little matters like the violations of in
ternal revenue laws have no terrors
for him when customers welfare is
at stake and hence these tears. Pop"
has a cellar which is his pride and his
boast, but unfortunately for Pop the
quality of the goods kept in the cellar
is of such unusually high proof that
were they to be dealt out promiscuous-
ly to those who bend their elbows over
the bar of the Hoffman there would
be weeping and wailing and subse-
quent gnashing Of teeth on the part of
the imbiberS.
only, for it was undoubtedly beneficial
for the aforesaid elbow crookers, Pop
decided to weaken the strength of the
various brands of rye and bourbon for
which his cellar is famed, and the re-
suit was a liquor which was toned
down to meet the taste of those who
are accustomed to the cocktail route
But in the necessary addition of water
there was a resultant tightening of
color, and as this off-color whisky
was not exactly what the Hoffman is
famed for it was necessary to do
something to avert suspicion and
there was added a little of what is
technically known among liquor-deal-
ers as caramel, "but what confection-
ers and others who use the harmless
ingredient call burnt sugar.
Now while Pops" intentions were
perfectly beneficent, his act was a
violation of the rigid rules and regu-
lations of the Revenue Department of
the Government, which is supposed to
look after all such matters as tamper-
ing with the things which men drink
and the result was that Bert Thomas
of the Collectors department and a
posse made a descent upon the famed
cellars of the Hoffman, to the chagrin
of Sullivan and to the benefit of the
treasury of the Government, for "Pop"
had to square" things, and did so
by paying the Government for all the
barrels of water which the astute
Revenue Collector figured had been
used in all the time that had elapsed
since Sullivan began to look so closely
after the physical welfare of his nu-
merous customers.
1t has been generally supposed that
nothing is too rich for the blood of
those who visit those elegant rooms
back of the Hoffman, but possibly
Pop" knows better what is good for
the habitues of the place than they
do themselves; anyhow, the bourbon
and the rye kept its color If not it's
proof and dollars were spent to
square the Government and have the
case dropped, and now Pop" swears
he will be good even if every blood in
town has to suffer from getting
better whisky than he is accustomed
to or than his internal arrangements
can stand.