davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

much trouble he was looking remark
DID YOU congratulate him on his APP
No / congratulated him on his disap-
pearance.
Philadelphia North American: Felix
Do You mean that you can never be
mine Angelina?
Argeline-Wen. wont so so far as
that. Mr.. rundown. | am going to
know.
indianapolis Journal: Mrs. Pax;on-I
feel quite proud today. I've just found
that I n elig.olc--to membership in the
Daughters of the American Revolution.
Mrs. Post-Dear me, how well you con-
ceal your age.
struck your head with the cup?
wei then. all 81 have to say is that
you should be very proud of her
Tit-Blts: Mother-Dear me. The baby
has swallowed that bit of worsted.
Father-Thats nothing to the yarns
she'll have to swallow if she lives 10
grow up.
Truth: A Parallel Case.-'I wish I
might live to see the day when the office
will seek the man.
III m. Haven't you noticed the result
when the situation seeks the cook?
Chicago Record: Il think a woman
should always allow someone else TO
choose her husband.
What is your reason
so she won't have to blame herself if
he doesn't turn out well.
Cleveland Leader: We can't afford to
go through this world with gloomy
faces
Not much we can't: if we do. we make
our creditors think we are getting ready
to fail, and they will jump on us.
Philadelphia North American: where
did you learn French asked the Paris
From a native" proudly replied the
All \ native of what?"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The Garden of Eden has been located
again. this time in western Wisconsin.
It win be quite impossible to make
people believe that Adam and Eve
were Badgers.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
Van Camps Macaroni and Cheese.
ONLY S41.5O TO SAN FRANCISCO
AND RETURN
Via. Portland and o. s. L. Ry.

Via. Portland and o. s. L. Ry.
Tickets on sale July 9. ), and I.
good returning July 81. City ticket Of
fee, POI Main street.
Teachers and others contemplating a
trip east to spend their vacation should
call on or address /. A. Benton, agent
Rio Grande Western railway. Salt
Lake. for rates and information. The
great Rock Island, in connection with
the Rio Grande Western, have a very
low rate to Missouri river and Chicago
and make direct connection with all
Rio Grande Western trains for eastern
points. leaving Pueblo every evening at
6:35, and Colorado Springs at $40 D.
m. through solid vestibule- train to
Chicago. consisting of Pullman Sleep
ers, chair car, (seats free) and their IA
nous Rock Island dining car; all meals
served a Ia carte.
Van Camps Macaroni and Cheese.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

An exchange discourses at length on
the value of fixed principles" The
value Of fixed" principles viii vary ac-
cording 10 the law of supply and de-
,oapd
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

1t wouldn't be bad idea if the police
would apprehend some of the members
of THE Choir Invisible" that go
around the streets at night.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Hanna and Foraker now go abou;
Washington locked arm in arm. Eri-
IDENTIFY they dare not trust each other
CUT Of sight
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

When Weyler modifies his policy OF
cruelty he does nothing more than to
change his methods.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

There were no new women among the
old folks but there were dear, lovely
old ladies among them.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

If you see a small lighted toy bal
loon floating in the heavens at night
do not imagine that it is a ball of fire
portending evil to mankind.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Remembering Washington's advice,
Uncle Sam refuses TO enter into any
entangling alliances with Liliuokalani.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

After Uncle Sam gets the Hawaiian
islands it would be a shrewd business
transaction if he could trade them for
the Thousand Isles.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Governor Tanner has gone TO Min
nesota to FISH. It would be a good thing
for Illinois if he never came back.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The New York Mail and Express OF
Saturday, the 18th inst. was a Sc page
edition. The edition was worthy in
every respect of the paper tina: issued
it. We do not agree with the Mail and
Express in politics. but it is a good.
wide awake. clean newspaper, fit TO en-
ter any household.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

John Sherman mods" says the
Boston Herald. John Sherman winks,
il you please.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
WIT AND HUMoR.

Washington Star: Il met that friend of
ours who got out of politics and lapsed
irto obscurity just in time to avoid so
much trouble. He was looking remark
ably we'll"
did YOU congratulate him on his ap-
pearance?"
No. l congratulated him on his disap-
pearance."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The wool schedule. with its classifi-
cations. presents the same old problem
of separating the goats from the sheep.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

It is said President Mckinley favors
an arbitration treaty. He may want to
use it in Ohio.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

What the president is sorely in need
of now is a new way 10 pay old pollt-
ical debts.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

When the council turns the mayor
down on his vetoes he doesn't rise
Anteus like.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

An Athens correspondent says that
prince Constantine viii stand much
higher II public estimation throughout
the world as soon as all the facts of his
Thessalian campaign are known.
There should DE no delay in furnishing
the facts
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The senators lit into each others
wool when discussing Schedule X.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Railroad pools NAV be unpopular, but
swimming pools are extremely popular
at present.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
1:IA THE
sas g FAVORITE

Trains leave and arrive Salt Lake City
as follows:
On effect March 1s. 1879
Leave.
The Overland Limited" for
Chicago. st. Paul, ST. Louis.
Omaha, Kansas City, Denver
and Park City.-.-.-.....-...---.7:00 a m
The Fast Mail" for Chicago.
St Louis. Omaha, Kansas City
and Denver .1:co D. n.
From three to u hours quicker to
all above points than any other
line.
Arrive.
.rhe overland Limited from
Chicago, st. Louis. Omaha.
Kansas City. Denver and Park
The Fast Mail" from Chicago.
ST Paul. st. Louis. Omaha.
Kansas City and Denver. ...--3:30 a m.
CITY Ticket Office. POI Main Street.
Telephone No. 665.
The only line operating through Pull
man Palace Sleepers. Library. Buffet
Smoker Dining Cars. Tourist Sleepers
and Free Reclining Chair Ce--
II NJ. CLAY. General Agent
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The tariffs progress might be called
The Rate's Progress"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

ter and White are all rabid eoldites we
fancy that their efforts in behalf of BIZ
metallism viii not shorten their lives on
account of overwork.
Chicago Times-Herald: In 60 years the
ton of small Importance in the eyes Of
the world to a stature that commands
respect even where il excites Jealousy.
Great as have been the achievements OF
England under constitutional mon
archy, still greater have tbeen those of
the United States under constitutional
democracy.
Pittsburg Dispatch: Secretary sher-
mans explanations" are as weak as
they, are unnecessary Territorial ag-
grandizement is no part of American
policy and Hawaiian annexation is
wrong. Mr.. Sherman might as well have
said thar and stood upon it.
St Louis Globe Democrat: The. first
bicycles came from England. but Amer
lean designers and mechanics have taken
throughout the world to be unequalied.
Their export this year has increased
threefold.
Omaha world-Herald: While speaking
about Hawaii. President Mckinley. do
prosperity you promised US. You will
find it extremely difficult TO make us for
get those front porch, pledges.
Boston Herald: OF course John Sher-
man has a perfect right to change his
mind II he has seen new light What
his old admirers would like to know Is
something as TO the nature and source
of the newly discovered effulgence that
has burst upon his brow.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
GARFIELD BEACH.
Time Card in Effect lime Il

/ Leave Arrive Leave Arrive
Salt Lake. Garfield. Garfield. Salt Lake.
.'7:45 am. *S:45 am. 12:25 pm. LOS %. m.
-l0:15 am. 1855 am. 1910 pm. $500 IN.
2:15 pm. 2:55 pm. $40 pm. 5:45 pm.
4:30 pm. $40 pm. 700 pm 7:4Op pm.
200 pm. 7:40 pm. 900 pm. $40 pm.
*Daily except Sundays.
Olsen's orchestra every afternoon
and evening. Boating. bathing and
dancing Fare soc. Depot corner First
South and Fourth West. City ticket
office, 201 Main.
D. E. hurley. G. P. & T. A.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

In telling OF great catches of fish one
should always hew to the line
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Trade with Cuba shrinks but spain's
debt grows.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

May peace and health accompany the
old folks 20 their homes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

only an earthquake can make q
Californian tremble.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

welcome to the Montana visitors
Zion is theirs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Naturally the mayor thinks that rid
ing over his vetoes IS rough shedding.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Salt Lake county has a woman dep
atty sheriff. Now viii you be good?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

a gratifying feature-cOral lips.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The victorian age-seventy-eight
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

y IS the omega Of the tarlf schedules
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
Current Time Table.
IN EFFECT JAN. Is, 1897.

LEAVE SALT LAKE CITY.
No: 2--For Bingham. Provo.
Grand Junction and all points
No EFor Provo. Grand JUNO '''' a. m
ton and all points East....... TAO pm.
No 6-For Bingham. Mt Pleas
ant. Manti. Richfield, Relknap
all intermediate points 1880 o. n.
date points. .;....-............... $50 pm
Provo and all intermediate
No. REor ogden and West.....1i: rs PM pm.
No 4-ror ogden and West. .12:25 pm
ARRIVE SALT LAKE CITY.
No. From Bingham. Provo,
Grand Junction and the East 12:15 pm.
no S-From Provo. Grand
Junction and the East II as n m
No. 5-From Provo. Bingham,
Eureka. Belknap. Richfield.
Manti and all intermediate
N points SIS pm
No From Ogden and the ''10 a m
West .:;...----.-;.;.:--.- 7:sO pm.
No. From Eureka. Payson. -
Provo and all intermediate
points 1855 a. N.
Only line running through Pullman
Palace Sleeping Cars from Salt Lake
CITY TO san francisco; Salt Lake City to
Denver via Grand Junction. and Salt
Lake City to Kansas City and Chicago
via Colorado points.
Through tourist or family sleepers with
out change. to Kansas City. Chicago and
Boston
Free reclining chair cars. Salt Lake City
10 Denver
Ticket Office No. 103 West Second South
Street Postoffice Corner)
D. C. DODGE, F. A. WADLEIGH.
General Manager Gen Pas Agent
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

The scorcher knows no law
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
UTAH CENTRAL R'Y,

General ONCE 2oe wittingham Building
DAILY TRAINS AS FOLLOWS.
Leave ArTtvA
5. L. CITY, 500 am Park City, 1880 am
Park City, 900 pm. S. l. City, Sis pm
Depot Main and Eighth South SrR
J. AcGregor. Clarence Cary, Receiver
3. E. Shafer. General Freight and PaS
senger Agent
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
OREGON SHORT LINE

W
Trains arrive and depsrt at Salt Lake
City daily as follows:
un Eject March Is. 1917
ARRIVE
FROM Chicago. Omaha. 81 Louis.
Kansas City. Denver. Park
City and Ogden. $40 pm
fS rom Helena. Butte; Portland.
termediate points ,............:. s:O5 am
icy. ogden and intermediate
From Chicago. Omaha. st. Louis. $50
Kansas City. Denver and Og-
mediate points . .................. s:45 an
From Mercur. Tintic. Provo. Ne
PM; Sanpete Valley and inter
.'MiSed train PSin'S rom Terminus. '''' pm
Tooele and Garfi SIti Rsach...... $50 pm
For Chicago, Uman Ai Denver
Kansas City, St Louis. Ogden
Far San Francisco. ogden.
Sa . Valley and intermediate
points ~.''.e 400 pm
pd Portland ana San Francisco... 700 pm
tNephi sanpsta Valley. .......... 40 an
Frisco and Intermediate points. 600 pm
gglxed trair: for Garfield Beacli.
sr,Doeie and Terminus ...-........ 7:45 am.
Sunday
Daily except Sandny.
liaily except Sunday south OF Juab.
CITY TICKET OFFICE. 2o1 MAIN ST.
Telephone No. 4eS
The only line in connection with the
Union Union Pacific operating through Pullman
Palace Sleepers. Latest Improved Tour
Isl Sleepers. Free Reclining Chair Cars
Elegant Day Coaches
) w: ECCLES. D. E hurley.
Gen. Trf. Mgr Gen. Pass & Tfck't ACT
". H BANCROFT.
Vice-Pres- and Gen. Mgr.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

IL. D. stands for Little Brooches"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24
sALTLAKE & OGDEN RAILWAY co

daily Time Table in effect May 60.
7 cave. Arrive Leave Arrfva
ssit Lake Farm Lagoon & Salt Lake
ington & Farm
I.aEoon fngtOn
--oo an. 7:40 am. SEQ am. S:4Oa-m
500 am 9:s0 am HUI am 1910 am.
II 30 am I:40 am 1900 noon l2:40 DIN.
i:4o pm. 2:2o pm 2;40 pm 800 pm
40 o m. 40 pm 4:40 pm. $50 I'M
s.50 pm. go pm $40 pm. 100 pm
7:40 pm. S;3 pm 1000 pm. 10:40 pm.
The Ideal Resort and Picnic Grounds
Open May 81
Round Trip including admission, &c.
Round Trip 10 Becks Hot Springs. in
GLIDING Bath. &c.
Special rates to Societies. Sunday
schools. etc
From Ogden to Lagoon and return on
Sundays. Holidays. etc. via o. S L, R r
75c., children. Csc. including admission to
grounds
SIMON BAMBERGER.
General Manager
H. W.. EARLY. Pass. Agent.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

ter and White are all rabid eoldites we
fancy that their efforts in behalf of BIZ
metallism viii not shorten their lives on
account of overwork.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Ticket Office No. 103 West Second South
Street CPostoffice Corner.)
D. c. DODGE, F. A. WADLEIGH
General Manager Gen Pas. Agent
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-06-24

Truth: A Parallel Case.-"I wish I
might live TO see the day when the Office
will seek the man.
III m. Haven't you noticed the result
when the situation seeks the COOKE
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Gibbon in Parliament.

Edward Gibbon, the great historian,
sat in parliament for many years, but
achieved no success in the house. One
morning, he tells us, 1tas he was de-
stroying an army of barbarians.', a
knock came to the door, and the temp
ter appeared in the shape of a friend
Offering to secure him a seat in parlia-
ment for the borough Of Liskeard
Gibbon represented the borough for ten
years (1774-17S3) without ever opening
his mouth; and once when moved to do
so he lacked the confidence to carry
him through. The great speakers
filled him with despair, and the bad
ones with terror. He grew heart tired
of this parliamentary prattle'' and of
st he noise and nonsense of the Pande-
moniun1, as he terms parliament in
his letters.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
SHE FALLS OVER THE CLIFF,

SHE FALLS OVER THE CLIFF.
out new vista of happiness in her
life.
Mother she had none; her father. a
rough, uncOuth fisherman, was seldom
at home except to sleep off some drunk
en- orgie; it was strange that so lovely
a flower could have sprung from such
a parent; but it was said that the moth
er had been of gentle birth, had mar
ried the handsome, rollicking dare
devil, and broken her heart when she
came to realize his utter worthless
ness. LlG- } 8. y.<:- n 4.5 4st. &s,.-.,.z
Some time in the night Ninette
awakened from deep sleep by hear
ing voices outside the hut, and soon
distinguished her fathers and those of
some Of his cronies. AS she listened
she grew cold as with "a sudden chill,
as she heard them plan to waylay and
rob some one, and she held her breath
/ to catch the name. All! heaven, could
it be that she heard Alright! THE pic
rture fellow they said, '.he has plenty
Of money and jewels worth taking
She. must save him, he who had ca.
ressed her so fondly, her dear friend,
for even to herself she scarcely dared
call him by any fonder name yet. She
would listen to all their plans, and per-
haps she could warn him.
81 He will be coming home along the
cliff road from the chateau that holds
his weethear said her fathers voice:
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Collar Buttons a. Good Pill.

.s> a sShelDina newspaper man bought
two pills and put them in his vest
pocket. He also bought pearl collar
button and put it in the same pocket
When it came time to take a pill, he
just shut his eyes, opened his mouth
and gulped it down. He was relieved
Of his headache, and went on his way
rejoicing. AfterWard, having use for
the collar button, he felt in his pocket,
and found two pills and no collar but
tOn.-Kansas City Journal
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
LITTLE INDIANS AT PLAY,
Do Not Lose Their >Tempers Like On
Lord Fauntleroys.


Lord Fauntleroys.
.- What unconfined Joy when the
camera came out to picture some one.
or when we played pa-tol, the game of
the bounding sticks, or the aboriginal
hide-and-seek, says the Land of Sum-
shine. Widest of all was the fun when
the fire, fights were on and one party
defended the Pueblo, and the
other, assuming to be Comanche. at
tackled it at dusk. Then how we rolled
adobe mud pellets and stuck them on
the tops Of our throwing sticks and
jammed live coal into the side Of
each, and sent them hurt1ing into the
enemy's camp-until all the sky seem
ed to rain shooting stars! And what
perfect spirits! Now and then a fire
ball would find it's billet and there
would be a howl Of pain-and in the
next breath the wounded warriorling
would be bembarding again with more
spirit than ever and not a whit worse
nature. That is another of the good
things that generally go with the
brown skin-these children of the sun.
young and old, are fit players at any
game, for they do not lose their tenn
pers. They give and take, like the
manly creatures nature meant us to
be, and not the peevish, selfish, inf1am-
mable things that civilization has made
sus..ssI would like to see just how long
one Of these happy fire fights could go
on between an equal numb Of Little
Lord Fauntleroys before there would
be several real fights on hand.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Bat He Slept On.

Here's a carpenter in st. Louis who
hasn't been able to sleep for twenty
five years. said the wife in a iutter
of sympathy, with the paper in her
hand,
ILet him take a job by the day, and
he'll catch up his arrears of sleep in
week. growled the husband, as he
fired pistol at the ear of the carpen-
ter who was snoozing over the building
of a hen-house at SO cents an hour
Commercial Advertiser.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Left Destitute!

Not of worldly goods, but of all earthly
comfort is the poor wretch tormented by
malaria The fell scourge is, however,
shorn of it's thong in advance by Hostel
ter's Stomach Bitters, its only sure pre-
ventive and remedy. Dyspepsia, bilious
ness. constipation, rheumatism, nervous
ness and" kidney complaints are also
among the bodily Affections which this
beneficent medicine overcomes with cer-.
tainty. Use it systema tically.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Read the Advertisements.

You will enjoy this publication much
better if you will get into the habit Of
reading the advertisements; they will
afford a most interesting study and
will put you in the way of getting
some excellent bargains. Our adver-
tisers are reliable: they send what they
advertise.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Hnod,c Dill cure liver ills, easy to take,
80 = 1AAo easy to operate. 25 cents.
Not Discouraged.

A duffer Of "a sportsman went out
partridge oting, accompanied by an
Irish keeper, who was good-natured
enough to make all kinds of excuses
for his patrons bad shots. At last the
shooter, made reckless by ill-success,
perceived a covey of birds quietly feed
ing on the other side Of the hedge. and
resolved to have a slap at them on the
ground. He fired, but, to his mortif-
caticn, they all flew away untouched.
"Regorra, sor, you made them lave
that, anyway. y.''-Household Words.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-11-20
Clever Working of the Rural Mind

Clever Working of the Rural Mind
Sally-How I'd like to be one Of
them great actresses or singers.
Her Mother-Oh, l dunno! 1t must
he an unhealthy business.
Sally-Why, ma?
Her Mother-Don't you allus see
their names in the papers tellina how
they've been takin' patent medicines
an tonics an sech?- Louis Star.