davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

Take these strange pictures you some
times see in the magazines and news
Papers. They consist of only few
strokes. Sometimes forty strokes will
make man completely dressed in out
door clothes, with hat and overcoat on.
The artist has drawn him by funny
methods, so that he looks funny. Bus
you must not think that the work is
necessarily poor.
Once a humorous man who had earn
ed considerable reputation by his work
took the end CT a broom-a small
broom. we'll worn at the elbows-and
dipped it in ink. With this rough
brush he sketched two men looking at
each other.
When it came to the whiskers he
used the whole broom. The result was,
if not elegant, at least funny. lie con-
sidered the picture the worst he had
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

V,,hother Dame Fashion approves or no.
Wnetner Oalno ~ Jndes as naturally
will lean to"alu Shine. These are the
as they 90 " Owe of the natural blonde,
men, y the one whose hair is the result
noperoxide of hydrogen, whose lashes
= and brows are cultivated and whose
skin is made the pink shade that it is
by the use of various powders and liq-
uids. A recent book on beauty tells
that with civilization came blondes;
that as the brain of woman grew
stronger her hair grew paler, and that
she is in her savage state when she is
a brunette. This is q direct contra
diction to the old idea that heaven pro-
vided food, and the devil furnished
cooks, and, consequently, when women
began to eat cooked food she grew pale
in color. The most interesting question
about blondes and brunetteS Is that OF
itensity Of feeling. Every woman
wants to know which can hold the af-
fections of man the longer, the blonde
or the brunette. The vote is undoubted-
Iy in favor of the blonde, as far as hold
ing the man goets, but in favor of the
brunette as far as the affections are
concerned.
u Two positive types, the blondest of
~ blondes and the darkest OF the bru-
9ltesS were talking of it. Said the
blonde: You brunettes always make
the mistake of being too affectionate
and allowing your affection to express
itself in words as well as in actions.
You convince man that he is the one
object of your life and all that you live
for. He is so certain that he grows in
different He wearies of your caresses.
He tires of your sweet words You see,
you give him too much plum pudding,
and he does not appreciate it. Now, the
way to keep a man is to make him love
you, but you must not love him too
much. Let him realize that he is sec
ondary to your dogs, your frocks and
your books. When he is with you, be
at your best and your brightest, but
when you show him favor make him
feel it keenly. Write bright charming
notes to him, but never put L love you
on paper"
But" answered the brunette, II am
80 perfectly devoted to the man l love
that l would trust him with anything
I would write anything l felt, and am
sure nobody would see the letters but
his own dear self and that he would I'M
derstand them
How about his valet?" asked the
blonde. And suppose he should change
his mind or you should change yours;
each would marry somebody else and
some other woman would have the
pleasure of reading those letters and
criticising them? For my part, I al
ways follow the advice of the French
diplomat, who said, Never write a let
ter, and never destroy a letter.
The brunette looked crestfallen. The
blonde looked sweetly judicial. And
little while after the believing brunette
heard that the one man whom she
gave her alteration had no. been to a
mems supper the night before. Instead
he had been one among a party of adj
mirerS who had given theatre and
supper party to \ farsighted blonde.
So they go on talkNk about blondes and
brunettes, and the man who is not in
love asks, What is love7" Here Isl an
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

A woman who can be friend and yet
not expect a man to cater to her vani-
ties is joy.
A man who knows how to be per-
feet comrade and yet not make love to
every woman he meets is a joy.
A thoroughly good story that is writ
ten in good English is joy.
A great, big bunch of flowers, pretty
of hue and sweet of perfume, is a joy.
A dainty dinner with somebody you
like very much is joy.
A becoming hat that sets comfortably
on your head is joy.
A we'll fitting frCck which is paid for
is a joy.
A box of sweets, a pleasant letter or
a new magazine, each is a Joy.
A dear baby, an affectionate dog, a
chirpy little bird. each is a joy.
A sunshiny day, when the air seems
clear and good, is one of Gods own
joys
And can't you be little gallant and
take off your hat and say that an
anothervjoy is Bah.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
BUNKO MANS LATEST GAME.
Working Trick on Conductors
Whereby He Clears So 50 Each Time.

Working Trick on Conductors
Whereby He Clears SO 50 Each Time
To an honest man it would appear
that the field of bunko had been pretty
we'll worked out; but every little while
some ingenious and crooked gentleman
contrives new method CT making
Otner persons pay TOR his ingenuity.
Just at present the street railway men
are looking for the deviser and opera, or
of very sick game of which the car
conductors are made victims. The
requisite for this game is So Ia IS bill
ana 81, and its working does not re-
Quire great nerve, as the bunkoer if
caught, can always declare that it was
a mistake, and to prove the contrary
with legal certainty would be almost
impossible
1 he crook gets on a car and tenders
the conductor a s. bill Now, no con-
ductor wants 10 give up all his change
and leave himself short, and no c0nduc
tor will take S. bill if there is any way
of getting out of it. Therefore he looks
at the crooks bill and says:
is that the smallest you've got?"
Il think it is says the crook. wait
a minute and I'll see."
Clumpling the bill up in his 1and-
the game is usually Played with crisp
new bills, as they crumple more obyl-
ously-he goes through his pockets in
search of change. Not wanting to find
any, he doesn't find any
Sorry, but that's all I've got" he
says.
Thereupon the conductor, with in
ward wrath, saizes the crumpled bill,
jams it into his pocket, and gives
change. Not the original crump,ed bin.
however, for during the search for
change he has contrived to substitute
a new 81 bill, equally crumpled. for the
S.. At the end of the days work he
discovers that he is 81 out Should he
discern the substitution, the crook
simply says:
why, that's queer. thought it was
q FIVE had all the time"
And what can the conductor do?
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

for women have stuck by men through
the direst sort of poverty, have tried TO
make things better, and have usually
succeeded If you will remember, you
never heard of man striving to make
both ends meet 1t is always woman.
Ny friend. if you can get the love OF
good woman, you have got the best
thing in life, and from the king on his
throne to the peasant working in the
field. there is nothing that surrasses 1t.
And the beautiful part of it all is that
king and peasant alike may have it. and
be happy, since love can neither be
bought nor stolen.
By the bye, just now there is a great
need for female Anthony COmstock,
who will rise and protest against the
use of patchouli and musk. Indeed, so
long as it ends the thing nobody cares
whether the person fighting against it
is male, female or even sexless. But
why are innocent men and women
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
prGMTEs BEING DIFFERENTIATED.

Pigmies are represented to-day by
a small number Of tribes in Africa,
threatened with early determination,
and by 1920 Weddas Of the Island Of
Ceylon. whom the British government
is about to destroy under the pretext Ok
the benefits to civilization. These
dwarfs were the advance guard Of the
human race. They were the first in
babitants Of India. They occupied all
Africa from the Cape of Good Hope to
Sahara. and during the stone age the
center OF Europe. whore they lived
probably before the arrival Of the men
Of tall stature who annihilated them.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

was there?'
well, my dear, since it interests you so
deeply, the other members OF the party
were DR.. Barton, Mr.. Newkirk and Colonel
Hail."
"A nice set of rufnans. What were you
doing?"
Having a nice sociable little chat The
time slipped"
What else did you do?"
part Of the time we played cards"
part of the time. BY that l suppose you
mean that there were Iive minutes when
you came and before you left that you
weren't playing"
AcquIescent silence from the direction Of
John.
What game were you playing?'
Elizabeth, 1t was game Familiarity
known as draw poker. Now, may 1 hope
that you are satisfied I'd like to go to
sleep"
A brief period Of regular breathing fol-
lowed; then. in loud whisper:
john
'sHuh?"
Wake up. Did you win or iose?"
won, / guess"
More silence. This time John clearly
got to sleep. A tug at his elbow brought
him to his senses.
John, how much did you VIM
''Dono. Gimme resf-go 10 sleep!'
But about how ruch?'
John sighed. As nearly as / can rec
ollect, about $42 dollars"
Now, aren't you ashamed Outrage
Gus! I should never have thought such
thing in the world. Why. john"
What did you want me TO do-lose?"
There's no need trying to treat the
matter 1ippantly. You can just go right
back and return every cent Of that mon
ey to the gentlemen you won it from"
But they've gone TO bed"
Then the first thing tomorrow morn
ing
John explained the involved character
OF the pecuniary relationships IN which
1t was possible, he said. FOR every man to
be loser to every one Of his opponents.
A return OF the spoils was out OF the
question. The argument seemed satisfac-
tory-for several minutes. Then the pros
ecution reopened.
'I'u forgive you on one condition.
And never mention the subject again?"
Eyes"
Name the condition.
That you give me so Of that money
for our missionary society. and every cent
OF the rest OF it for some new clothes for
myself"
Ten minutes later.
II guess g ought to do or the missionary
society. Don't you Think 50. john
Chicago Times Herald.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
HOW 70 Be A FUNNY MAN.
Rigby, the Famous Sketchman, Gives
a Talk on Comic Art.
The Recipe for. Fame - Take a
Style and Stick to It, and People
Will Begin to Talk About You.
The Funny Man Gets Rich.

The man who wants to be news
paper artist must begin before he is
bern.
l do not believe that the artist lives
who can tell when he began to draw.
If you ask Phil May when he COM
menced to study art he will scratch that
long head Of mis- and say: when l
got hold of my first piece of COAL
My mother tells tales Of how son
of hers began his life work OF art The
first time ne sat at a kitchen table he
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

want companionship, and you count
love of little worth. Oh, what foo.s
these men be-especially these intel
lectual nineteenth century men! My
dear sir, there never lived man IN
this world who did not long for Wo-
man to love him. He likes to tax
about comradeship and affection-what
he wants is love and devotion. He
thinks that everything else in life
protoplasms and meteors and politics
and all the rest of the nonsense-should
come before love. Where in the world
have his eyes been? 1t is true that
crimes have been committed for love,
but, oh. SO many good things have been
done for its sake! There have been se.f
denial and unselfshness. There has
been the giving up of great hopes, and
sometimes the absolute killing of ones
hearts desire. for the sake of dear love.
The world could no longer exist without
love than it could without sunshine.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
Copyright, 1877

There is no doubt about it that the
stage sets the fashion. For the last
wv seasons we have as regularly look
for the coming Of the English COM
q as standard of beauty as we
he coming Of the seasons to de-
t shall and what shall not be
I'll along the preference in type
IN has been given to the blonde,
last smart English company
made speciality Of exhibiting
ful women had but one blonde in
foup, and she was anything but a
blonde. The day of the brunette
come. She of the dark hair in soft,
ripples, of great big dark eyes, of
wing cheeks, and of intense express
On is in favor, while the intellectual
londe is given the go by. However,
Enough fashion may decree one thing
human nature will always have its in
nlngs, and there will be men who,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
Bah ON BEAUTY.
Blonde and praDeaee Types Of Pretty WopeD
at None and abroad.

answer: Love is a selfish desire on the
part of one person to monopolize all the
time, attention and charms of another.
1t is spoken of as being everlasting, and
yet men jest about their summer loves
and their winter loves, and think a
presidential election or Use or fall
in stocks more interesting than any love
that was ever INDUCED in. Some foo,
of man commits sulcida-says he does
it for love, when it is really for lack Of
brain. Some fool of a woman runs in
debt buying new frocks, spends her
time before a looking glass, and all be-
cause she wishes to make a man love
her.
Bother love!" says a man. GIVE
me comradeship. | want to feel that
| can be pleasant with a woman; that
we can trot around together; that we
can enjoy the same things, discuss the
same questions, without all the folde-
rel nonsense called love-"
MY master" says l, you think you
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

ever done, yet the most artistic. 1t was
the worst because he had not used an
artists implements, but the most ar
tistic because he got his results the
easiest.
A funny artist sees things exagger-
ated, and when he draws them he
draws them in such a way that they are
amusing. though real
a good humorist is one who tells the
story without words. You look at d
man with his back turned to you. and
you can tell whether that man is happy
or unhappy.
The funny artist picks up his pose,
and makes happy man Or I miserable
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
cANnOR

81 suppose said the campaign work.
er. that you are going 10 vote the
str1ight ticket2"
NO" said the answering partisan:
81 am going to keep en- voting the same
old ticket. don't care how crooked Il
gets. Washington Star.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

Chicago Times-Herald.
"John?"
Eyes, dear
'Is that you? You needn't take so much
trouble to come in quietly; I've been
awake these three mortal hours. Do you
know what time it ISL"
II should say about a quarter after g."
"a pretty time for you to be getting
home, isn't it? Where have you been?"
cover at Mr.. F'raley's."
Mr.. Fraley indeed. suppose you mean
that disreputable BIZ Fraley. Who else
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
sHERMANs WITTY REPLY.

Once when General Sherman had
been under the care OF a physician for
some time. he said: Doctor, | don't
seem to be getting any better, for all
your medicine" We'll, General" re-
piled the doctor, loosely, perhaps
you had better take Shakespeare's adj
vice and throw physic 10 the dogs
II would. Doctor replied the sick nxn.
as ne turned his head on the pillow-"I
would, but there are a number OF val
liable dogs in this neighDcrhcod.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
LYNCHED by SWALLOWS.
Fate Of an English Sparrow for In
truding Where 1t Was Not Wanted.

Grand Rapids Herald.
A successful lynching took pace on
the farm of Jerome Butler south Of
Marlette Mich. the other day. In the
barn a swallows nest was seen clinging
to the side of beam from which was
suspended an English sparrow, hung by
the neck with a hair from a horses
tail. While Franklin Butler and Orla
Albertson were sitting in the barn they
noticed a sparrow go into the swallows
nest. from which he began pitching tho
young birds. Three swallows, attracted
by their outcry, immediately bounced
upon the intruder. After combining him
to the nest for few minutes they
threw him out. He dropped abont a
foot. there was jerk and Mr.. Sparrow
was hanged as nicely as though an ex-
pert hangman had been In charge. The
hair was wound around his neck sew
eral times. and after a few Intellectual
struggles he kicked his last.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
sUPERsTITIoNs ABOUT DEATH.
Some Ridiculous Signs Ignorant Peo-
pie Believe Precede Dissolution.
Phlladelphia Press.

Philadelphia Press.
Superstitious persons will find food
for their morbid fmaginations, no doubt,
in the fact that the other day a woman
fell dead at the funeral Of her mother.
They will find that a mirror owned by
by some member Of the family unac-
countably fell from the wall and was
shattered, that some other member saw
the new moon over his left shoulder, or
that somebody else saw a cross-eyed
co,ored person, a humpback or q black
cat coming out Of graveyard. 10 slieh
persons ali these and other similar
"signs" will be held as having been In
fallible prophecies OF the death that oc-
Cured. AS matter Of fact, however,
the daughter who expired was probably
suffering from an affection Of the heart
which was aggravated to fatal extent
bv her emotion at her bereavement and
by the excitement Of attending the fn'
neral Of her mother.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

am? Why, dat means more money dan
yo' know w'ot to do with, niggah.
Abe Hardcase-O, l know wot 1t
means, yo fool, | said l didn't know
wO't it am.-Judge.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28

CONSIDERABLE DIFFERENCE.
Jim Jackson (patronizingly)-So yo'
don't know what plethora of money"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-28
SATISFYING CONSCIENCE.

Or How a Missionary Society Was About
to be Benefited Through a Game of
Poker.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-12-10

the lmeO toilet andn
hanii eosand
PuleH give ant rcive Aluminium
onesc
line
leoosee This department filled with goods
ill makeil
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-12-10

gift that for years will remain pleasant reminder of the
giver is good gift to give. Such gift is china The
owner always prizes it. 1t beautiful and usen and its
value enhances the years go by Think of china when
going your list gifts and decide that come here
and let save you money on it,
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-12-10
GAMES

There not half enough games purchased. They have
mission of usefulness in every home They always
Entertainment, they dcpne for the mind and
they strengthen home attachments. have large
of choose from and making close prices
them.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-12-10
TOYS

world SaN0ry from France
from rom land Hundreds puzzled their
tlee of
to and
tina tlep prices rer in
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-12-10

Christmas would be Christmas if candy left out
have everything in sweets that you can ask for mclud-
ing Lowneys superb Bon Bons. All candies guaran-
eed absolutely pure
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-12-10
DOLLAR

give, but often a worry to choose L want to give
where stock is ample mine, little can be done b'
have a line of goods this year that will make
money go a long ways. fyou fail to look over the
goods were anxious to sell. picked up bargains
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1897-10-01
olex Explosions.

Frank Ralston OF Lone Rock has re.
turned from Portland.
Catlin and Ralston have pulled in
their threshing machine.
A telephone will soon be put through
from lone, Gooseberry and Olex to Ar
lington.
School will start in 0lex the first Mon
day In October, with Prof Henry Mott
at the helm. Parties desirous OF send
ing to good school can do no better
in Gillian county than to send their
sons and daughters to Olex, az a better
school than ever will be run this winter.
We hope to have the new school house
built by next season.
Judge Bradshaw stopped at Olex a
short time on his return from court at
Condor. The judge will be candidate
for reelection next spring. He is the
right man In the right place, and every
body In the Olex country, regardless oi
politics, are with him "tooth and toe.
nail" The taxpayers oil know that they
have friend in Judge Bradshaw and
feel sure that no advantage can be
gained In making a change In this i'm.
portant office. From what we can learn
the same sentiment prevails throughout
Gillian county-and also the entire 7tt
Judicial district
Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1897-10-01
A Child Lost.

II Is doubtful II there 10 anything, ex-
cept death itself, that strikes such terror
and anguish 10 the heart Of a parent as
the realization that their little child has
wondered away and IL lost, with dark
ness rapidly approaching. Such was the
experience OF Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. q.
Caldwell at Condor last Friday night,
and II was an experience that they can
never forget.
About 8 O'Clock Friday morning Mr..
Caldwell started for his mothers ranch,
A miles west Of town, TO spend the day
at work on the place. Frequently his
children follow him 10 the barn and ask
TO go along. Several times he took them
on bis horse or wagon and allowed them
TO stay with their grandmother at the
ranch until he returned TO town In the
evening. About the time the father left
In the morning the mother missed the
little 2tS-year-old boy, Vernon, .but felt
no alarm, as she thought he had gone
along with bis papa to the rancbs I'm
agine the feelings of both when be re,
turned in the evening without the child
and had not seen him that day. Within
Q few minutes everybody In town were
hunting for the lost child, but could not
find any trace Of him, and nobody In
town remembered having seen him that
day. To make matters worse, darkness
set in, but every man in town who could
rustic up Q lantern wac out over the
prairies looking for the child, the hunt
lasting until after midnight, when the
weary hunters returned TO town to wait
for daylight.
About this time, Jim Brown came 70
town from the John Palmer ranch,
miles southwest Of town, where Cooke
Bros. crew were threshing. and reported
that they had found lost child, bu.
did not know whose it was. 1t lie need
less to add that Mr.. Caldwell lost nc
time in going out for his child. Abou.
midnight, Ernest Jones, one Of the crew,
heard what he thought was child cry.
ing, on the high rocky ridge west Of Mr..
Palmer's place. He got up and listened,
bat thought perhaps 1t might be the
noise Of coyote. He aroused the others,
and they concluded to investigate, any.
way. The whole crew started ont, and
the closer they got TO the noise the more
convinced they were that ii was little
child crying. Mr.. Rodgers was the fret
to reach the top and he found the poor
little fellow lying among the rocks, cry
ing AZ II his heart was broken. Bill
Cooke carried the half-frozen and hungry
baby to the house and soon had hin
thawed out and filled up with warn
chicken gravy. By the time the fathel
reached there the little fellow was al
lively as chipmunk and laughingly
told how he had tried to 60 out 10 biz
grandma's and lost the way. As no on,
saw him, 1t is supposed that the littl,
fellow wandered out onto the prairie ant
kept on walking until he became .,
tired and sleepy that be sank down ex
hausted. What worries the little fellow
more than anything else is because b,
lost his bonnet on the way.