Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1897-06-18


upon her. She-What ingratitude!-
Puck.
Little Man (golf Enthusiastically
don't you play golf? Big Man (blase)-
Why. because l object to chasing
quinine pill around cow-pasture.-
Tid-B Bits.
She-I think you had better send up
another rat-trap. John. He-But
bought one only the other day. She
l know, but there Is a rat in that one.
-Tid-Bits.
Kind Old Lady--To what do you at.
for strong drink? Is it hereditary!
Weary Walktt-No. mum; It's thirst
Philadelphia Record.
Sawyer seems to think a good deal
Of himself" Il should say so; he has
had Moorish curves cut in his office
doorway so he can get his head in and
out."-Chicdgo Record.
Mrs. Jobber-Too bad the new cook
spoiled the steak; she Is so young and
inexperienced. Won't you be satisfied
with kiss instead, dear? Mr.. Jobber
ALI right; call her in.-Judge.
"Why don't that European war
you've been predicting right along come
Off, Mr.. Sportly?" inquired his wife.
II suppose the microscope people are
not ready."-Detroit Free Press.
Belinda, how do you treat stupid
man who admires your" "Really, I
don't know; when a man admires me
never do myself the injustice to con-
slider him stupid. Record.
"Mrs. Saver must feel that she was
very extravagant In buying that new
gown" "What makes you think SOP"
"She's begun to argue that 1t will be
the cheapest in the end."-Chicago
Journal.
II hear that Judge Buckets Is study.
ing mind-reading," said the lean law
yer. 'If he gets proficient" said the
fat lawyer, hell arrest the whole
town for contempt Of urt."-Indiana.
polls Journal.
Herr Oil-Haf you heard dot dog Of
mine ate a tape-measure undt died!
Herr Kut-I suppose he died py inch.
es, NIGHT var? Herr Oil-Aber nit; he
vent oudt in der alley und die Ply der
yard.--Columbia Spectator.
ut was so dark in the parlor when
young DR.. Plummer came in that
did not notice he had shaved of his
mustache." Didn't you? felt the
difference while you were getting q
light. Plain-Dealer.
Jones-Sillibub has medicine which
he declares is sure cure for heart
disease. Smith-Did it cure him I
Jones-Yes, 1t gave him such fright.
full attack of indigestion that he for.
got all about his heart.-Harper's Ba.
Ear.
~. Addison" eyes, your excellen.
cy?" Il hope that the agriculturists
will appreciate the beginning of our
efforts in their behalf" "In what
way, sir?" "Well. in sending Hay to
Misunderstanding Chronicle-Tele.
graph.
DR.. Ende-There's nothing serious
the matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulcahey
think little soap and water will dc
him as much good as anything. Mrs
Mulcahey-Yis, docther, an will o.
giyeit t him befoOr or afther his males
Judge.
Mrs. Henpeck-Young Mrs. Bagley
who was married on last Thursday
tells me her husband left almost i'm
mediately for the West on bushes!
trip. Henpeck (viciously-Yes;h he writes
me that he finds married life very
. happy existence.-Philadelp Nortl
American.
Parke-So strong Is habit, they say ,
| mans spirit goes right on doing tn
same thing after death that he did II
life. Lane-That can't be true in you
: case. Parke-Why not? Lane-Lool
at the habit you have gotten into o
shoveling the snow from your walk
The Jester.
"Old man, you seem worried" "Wor
ried is no name for 1t. Brown Is com
ing around at 4 o'clock to pay me SIS.
''Think he may not come? "Oh. he'l
come all right; but Jones is due a
AIS to try to collect $40 ! owe him
Suppose he should get there just as
was being paid by Brown""-Cincin
natl Enquirer.
"Ah, yes" said the soulful youn
man, II see signs Of spring on ever
hand nowadays" "Why, didn't kno,
you'd noticed It," declared the land
lady. as she threw shawl over tn
horsehair lounge, through the seat Q
which long spiral Of heavy wire ha
worn its way.-Cincinnau Commercis
Tribune.
Il have always felt sorry for Noah.
said the large-hearted man. 81 don
see the need for It," said the man of tn
shrunken sympathies. Looks to m
as IL Noah got of pretty WELL" "Br
Just think OF it. When the waters sui
. sided there was not soul left for hill
. to ask, Now, what did l tell youT"-
indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Pawson-My sister is worried
death over her son Reginald. Sh
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