The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-11-02

Fl
The Major is OFF on a L ark--The Nash
vile Exposition Gives Him Chance
to Take q Long Rest Ibis New Or
Ranization,
8.-'HelloI Mr.. Editor"
R.-"Hellol Major. I thought you
were away from home"
B.-"I am, I'm talkin' ter you awl
the wey from Nashville. Tenn. I'm
out here takin' in the Exposition, sorter
Windin' it up, so to speak. I wish Betsy
Wuz erIong; we'd hev az much fun 81
we did at the circus. The tMidway'
liz huge; SO IL the Exposition. Tennes
see liz a CRATE State an she hez made a
CRATE Exposition, if In any jedge, an
I've seen most awl .ov EN- frum sthe
Oak Grove Fair up. The Exposishun
IL fully 81 good, if not better than
the Atlanta Exposishun, and hat wuz
q guide imitashun ov the Worlds Fair.
Nashville liz a pretty city ov erbout a
hundred thousand ~populashun. It
looks like a Northern city fer the world.
Tennessee IL ahead ov North Carolina
in cities. She hfz four purity big ones
Memphis, Nashville, Knoxville and
Chattanooga, an she awlso hez Bob
Taylor. I'm splurgin' Ground purity
big out in this beat. I keep the street
cars hung up most ov the time ter keep
frum runnin' over me. They run 80
aIIfred.fast I can't dodge 'em, so they
dodge me. They jest stopawl the cars
when I'm Ground ter avoid q big dam
age suite. I reckon they don't want ter
kill me becase I'm a Dymakrat, an
you know they air gittin' ter be a skase
artical. A teller on the train axed me
how long I wuz goin' ter stay in Nash
vile. / tole him / wuz goin' ter see
the Exposition if it took all summer
He LATED an sed summer IL erbouE
over now. I toIe him I knew that, but
] meant next summer. He didn't know
that I wuz a married man, an thas /
Wuz goin' ter put in aWl the time /
could away trum home. The Expoei
ton may close purity soon, but I'll write
q postage card tT Betsy erbout twice a
week an tell her that the manag.e-s ov
the Exposition hev fallen madly in
love with me en- won't let me leave.
We married men must take a guide
many twists an turns in order ter pull
through this life frum the weddin' ter
the grave. I've got away frum home
now an I must make the most ov it
If Betsy wuzent sich a silYerhug I'd go
awl the Wey ter KIondike an dig sum
gold jist fer q change an ter git ter
stay away frum home a guide while
But she won't allow anything ov that
kind. Sometimes / feel like exclaimin'
in the language ov Kurnell Pat Henry,
''give me.liberty or give mt death, but
know it won't do any guide. If Pat
had bin hitched up ter a woman like
Betsy, IN a guide many other wimin l
could name if / Wuzzsnt afeard ter, he
mite hev exclaimed an clawed the air
fer liberty till hiz head turned gray an
still he wouldn't hev got any liberty.
Sumtimes I think he wuz referrin' ter
hiz wife whom he made that celebrated
speech instead CIV meanin' liberty ov a
perIiticaI nature. They amt no tellin.
You married men whut read this will
understand an sympathize with my
view ov the matter. Wbut we married
men want ter do il ter organize. Every
thing else jz organized. I'm goin' ter
start out an try ter organize "The
American Protective Association fer
Married Men," If organizin' won't do
we kin arm ourselves with Gatlin' guns
an dynamite. We must do somethin'
ter elevate ourselves or we will soon be
absolute serfs. Well be so far gone
that free coinage won't do US a bit ov
guide. Well, I must quit taIkin' an go
out an try ter ros the street car
tracks an see them awl git paralized.
HTrSoh-n -