davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
A Cure for Ennui.

IT used to revile the book agent" re-
marked the slightly blase young man
Il once read the gibes at him which
appear in the publications with great
relish. looked upon him as an enemy
Of mankind"
Have your feelings undergone 9
changer" inquired his friend.
Decidedly. There was a time when
/ was getting weary of life. My busi-
ness wasn't sufficient to occupy my en-.
tire time, and / was cursed with
leisure"
Things seemed to be getting quite
slow?"
Exceedingly so. Nobody was writ.
Ing the kind of novels l like, and the
theatrical entertainments seemed stag.
nant with dreary sameness. / tried
a trip to Europe, which was very well
while it lasted. but 1t didn't do any
permanent good. The days dragged
along so that a week seemed like
liberal instalment Of eternity. Moth.
Ing afforded any relief until, by acci-
dent. l tried book agents."
You mean you bought some in.
structive works that absorbed your at.
tention."
We'll, I suppose the works were in.
structive enough. But didn't look
into them more than once or twice
Two or three happened along on. the
same day. They had art collections,
and choice selections from English lit.
erature. and / bought set of books
from each. l was to pay for them
monthly, and now every minute has
wings on it, 1t seems to me that ]
scarcely make one payment before the
man gets around for the next one. And
then | figure it out, and see how the
time has really flown, and pay up and
look pleasant and feel that I've had
more than my moneys worth even II
l never read a line in my new library
Detroit Free Press.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
AN UNEXPECTED LEGACY.
The Eject of IA Boston woman's Kindness
and Sunny Face.

About six years ago the Grand Army
reunions in Boston.
In the big Western delegation came
man from Ohio, and on this particu-
lar visit to Boston hangs a most in
terestlng story. This mans name Is
withheld by request, but 1t Is reported
that he was a retired shoe merchant.
His eyes We're so bright and he was
so extremely good natured that even
the good woman with whom he board
ed did all she possibly could to make
his temporary stay pleasant one.
Mrs. Jennie McKenney, for that Is
her name, has bright, winning face
and sunny disposition.
lie remained at her house about two
weeks. and after his return to his
home she did not hear from him. But
four weeks ago, when her household
affairs were most pressing, she re-
ceived n summons to come to n GER
tain town in Ohio, where the man be-
fore mentioned had lived. and only re-
Gently died. 1t was found that he had
considerable wealth. and Mrs. McKen-
ney, the hard working woman with
whom he had boarded during those
eventful' two weeks of the Grand
Army encampment, was mentioned in
the will.
'Such great good fortune came so
suddenly that it quite startled me-"
said Mrs. McKenney, "but, neverthe-
less, | got ready and started for the
West, leaving friend to manage the
house for me-" That friend, Mrs. Lena
McDougal, has certainly no reason to
regret her kindness, for since Mrs. Nc
kenney returned on Christmas Eve
with legacy of $50, 900 from the estate
of her benefactor, she has cancelled
the mortgage of $400 held on Mrs. Nc
Douglas property.-Boston Globe.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
WILLIAM MORRlS's WILL.
He Didn't Dispose of It as Socialist Was
| EypeCtsu 10.

Expected TO.
The will of William Morris would
hardly call for notice If the testator
had not been leader of Socialism. AS
1t Is, !. may serve to illustrate, not an
inconsistency on his part, but the most
persistent of the popular errors about
Socialism. 1t Is from first to last the
will of "bon bourgeois" 1t deals with
$4,000. and in its disposal of the same
1t shows the highest appreciation Of
the rights of property.
The money goes to the wife and chill
dren, just as 1t might have gone II the
testator had been mere capitalist.
The widow Is to have "at least n thous-
and year" The trustees are to deal
with the business of Morris & Co., as
with any other sublunary concern for
money-making-to form 1t into n COM
pany If they see fit, and to manage 1t
themselves, or appoint managers, as
they may think best Even the library
Is to be sold. So far as can be judged
by the abstract. little or nothing is
frittered away on public objects. Kelm-
scott House Is not to become n phal-
anstery; and no part of the f55,000 is
TO 90 to the endowment of research in
schemes Of community life. The com
rades' Of Socialism, in fact, are cut of
with less than a shilling.
This only serves to show that Social
ism as now professed Is not commun-
ity Of goods, If indeed 1t ever was. 1t
may still be the state as municipal
employer, IL the state should care to
buy up the business Of Morris & Co, ut
market value, but it leaves the owners
Of that sound-going concern to have
and to hold as much private property
ms they can manage to amass.--London
Daily News.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
PROOF POSITIVE.
ue Knew That the Dinner Was n Goo,
One.

nc hnew Ihat the Dinner was Goot
"If you want to know horses age"
says the Spanish proverb, don't ask
the seller"
Two Americans, meeting by chance
In Paris, went to dine in certain
snowy restaurant. The meal was cost
ly. but not well cooked, and they did
not find the viands palatable. But
like true Americans, they made no pub
lie complaint, and reserved their criti.
cism until later.
AS solace, perhaps, to their disap.
bointment, they went to the theatre
and there, between the acts, one said
to The other:
What wretched meal that WASH
'rYes," assented the other 1T was
an imposition. We must really have
supper at first-class cafe, II only to
take the taste out OF our mouths"
This, and much more of the same
character, until their conversation wa,
interrupted by well-dressed gentle.
man In the rear, who leaned over and
said courteously:
Pardon! Messiours have dined a,
M-'s?"
Yes" answered one Of the Ameri.
cans, wondering and somewhat of.
Tended at the query.
And messieurs have not dined
well?"
On the contrary-atrociously
"Messieurs are mistaken" said the
Frenohman. calmly.
Indeed" exclaimed the American,
angrily. Permit us to be the best
judges"
"Pardon!" persisted the Frenchman:
"the dinner. l am certain. was excel
lent"
You dined there?"
mot exactly"
Then how do you know the dinner
was excellent?"
Because, messieurs," replied the
Frenchman, gravely, II am the cook"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
SI1ERIFFS SALE.

BY virtue OF sundry wrlts Of Flerl Faclas Is
sued out OF the Court Of Common Pleas Of Col
umbia county, Pa, and to me directed, there
viii be exposed to public sale at the Court
House in Bloomsbury on
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 6, 1907,
at o'clock r. M, all that lot or piece of ground
situate In the town of Bloomsbury, county OF
Columbia and state Of Pennsylvania, bounded
and described as follows to-wlt Beginning at
post on Main or Second street OF said town
at corner OF lot Of Mrs. Henrietta Rinker thence
along Second street westwardly distance OF
thirty-two feet to post, thence by other land
OF Anna NJ Lorah, lately lot OF Levi Cox, north
wardly eighty feet to q post In other lands OF
Anna NJ. Lorah; thence along said land forty
one feet to post In line OF lot OF Mrs. Henrietta
Rinker aforesaid; thence along the line OF said
Rinker lot southwardly eighty feet TO the place
OF beginning; containing three thousand square
feet be the same more or less, whereon is erect
ed two story and half double
FRAME DWELLING HOUSE.
ALSO: all that certain lot or piece OF ground
situate In the town OF Bloomsbury, county OF
Columbia and state OF Pennsylvania, bounded
and described as follows, to-wlt: Beginning at
a corner or Railroad street and an alley running
from Knorr's blacksmith shop to Fishing creek;
thence along said alley north seventy-seven
degrees east sixty-1vc feet to corner OF lot OF
Mrs John Rinker; thence by the same south
soyenty-six and three-fourth degrees east
feet to lot of Anna NJ Lorah; thence by
the same south thirteen degrees west forty-one
feet to corner; thence by the same south
wardly eighty feet to Second street OF said
town; thence along the north side OF Second
street westwardly to the corner OF Railroad
Iron street; and thence along the east side OF
said Railroad Iron street northwardly to the
corner OF the alley aforesaid, the place OF begin
ming, whereon is erected a large three story
FRAME STORE BUILDING
and dwelling house attached and two story
FRAME DWELLING HOUSE,
and stable.
Seizeed, taken into execution at the suits OF
The Locust Mountain Saving and Loan Asso-
ciation VS.. Jacob Lorah and Anna NJ. Lorah, and
Levi Cox and Sarah Eliza Cox vs.. Jacob Lorah
and Anna NJ. Lorah and to be sold as the prop
erty OF Anna NJ. Lorah.
j. b. McHENRY,
l.. s. Wintersteen, atty. Sheriff.
I-l4-ts.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
d. X. BETCHTER,

Mr.. Buchter's remarkable whiskers
are jet black, but they are not at all
thick. Scissors have not touched them
In many years. The cobber derives
much recreation in combing the glossy
locks. He has received numerous of.
fers from dime museum managers to
sit on platforms and exhibit the phe.
nomenal chin growth. A week rarely
passes that Ashland is not visited by
the representative of some hair re.
stOrer, regenerator or vitallzer willing
to pay handsomely for the Buchter
signature to certificate of the won.
derous powers of the nostrum. To mu.
scum managers or nostrum venders he
replies: II am neither freak nor a
liar" In fact, Mr.. Buchter INDUCES his
vanity or love for whiskers in secret
to certain extent, for he does not
show their full length to the public
nor does he give the winds an oppor-
tunity to play through his rather ex.
tended lilacs. On the contrary he close.
ly plaits the lower forty inches of the
hirsute wonder. and slows the resul.
tuht pucue DeuedtH Ills WnlStcOat, ana
to passer-by only presents the not
unusual appearance of man whose
shirt front is hidden by luxuriant
but not extraordinary crop of
whiskers. This is an arrange.
ment that is quite comfortable in the
winter, but a little unpleasant during
the dog days.
Mr.. Buchter uses no oil or invigor.
ants of any nature. When he washes
this interesting bunch of spinach he
uses soft rain water and CASTLE soap,
but he believes in frequent combing
and brushing to keep it in fine condi.
ton. 1t has not grown any within ten
years. The hair of his head is quite
vigorous, and would probably grow to
extreme length did Mr. Buchter not
prefer to keep it cut to conventional
length. Notwithstanding this wonder.
ful vitality of the hair. this Ohio Esau
has never been troubled with neural
gia or headache leading to insomnia
and nervous troubles, the usual pen
atty that nature eXacts for lavish
growth of what on woman is called
the crown of glory. On the contrary
he is in good health and man of in.
telligence, who has no other fad than
the cultivation of a fifty-five-incl
beard.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
Wasn't Able to Live on Souls.

A clergyman whose salary had not
been paid for several months told the
trustees that he must have his money,
as his family We're suffering for want
of the necessaries Of life.
Money! exclaimed one of the trus-
tees, noted for his stnginess, "do you
preach for money? l thought you
preached for the good of souls"
The minister replled:-
80 do; but can't eat souls. And
If l could, it would take thousand
such as yours to make meal"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04

They were anxious to break 1t to her
gently, for she was very fond of the
homely dog with the pink ribbon
around its neck.
"Oh, he's out"
"Playing?"
"Um-yes-I s'pose you might call Il
q frolic."
Where is he?"
well, the last saw of Hector he
was on his way to pound party
Chicago Post.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
Not Wholly n Misfortune.

Distressing thing happened at our
house this morning."
what was it?"
Our cook ran away with all the
spoons"
That's bad"
Not so bad as it might be. She car.
ried off my wife's cook book, too-"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
A Charity Organization.

Mr.. Silverbaum-Ach!-dot vas goot
,-anudder Hebrew charitable society
shust organized.
Mrs. Silverbaum-Vot vas der nam,
Off i'd?
Mr.. Silverbaum-Der Grabbag Fire
Insurance Company off New Yorg.--
Puck.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
Domestic Economy,

Cook: "Wasteful, mum? Well mum
mats one thing I'm not! Why, every
think In the eatin' and drinkin' wal
that comes down from hupstMrs !
make point OF finishin' up myself
mum!-Punch.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
A Sure Criterion.

He-Do you really think Jack is IL
love with you?
She-Certainly. I have the mos
positive proof. He never knows wheth'
er my hat is on straight or not.-Buf
talo Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
What He Wanted.

BOSS. hab you got dem confount
cavortic pills?'
"Yes; do you want them plain O.,
sugar-coated?"
Dunno. I want dem ones datt
white-washed."
He got 'em.-Texas Sitter.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
A Serious Deficiency.

Dukane-The college which will at.
tract the most attention this year does
not possess football team.
Gasewell-Oh, nonsense! -
tits a fact"
what college do You refer to?"
"The Electoral Collegew-Pittsbure
Chronicle
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
Fortified.

"Is your new maid satisfactory, Mrs
Osmond?"
I'm delighted with her; she is sc
homely that book agents never attemp
to step inside OF the front door."-Cbi
cago Record.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
ADMINISTRATORS NOTICE.

Estate OF Henry Edrl Hess, late Of Scott to,rnship,
deceased
Notice Is hereby 1toen that letters or admints-
trdtton on The eStdte OF Henry Earl Hess, tate or
scott township, deceased, haze been granted to
TIE undersigned dd'nhifstTdtI'fr, to trhODI all
persons indebted TO sad estate are requested TO
make payments, and those hdriig claims or de-
ndnds rW make kno,cn The same lCithout delay
10 MRS. MARY ANGLE,
l-li-b AdniatStrdttC
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
A GENUINE Nus WHISPERS"
An Ohio ShoemaKet whose Beard Is
Fifty-ave Inches Long.

u. X. Buchter is an humble shoe
maker of Ashland, o., who ekcs out
his living by serving as sexton of a
local Presbyterian Church. Working as
he does early and late, seven days n
week, 1t may be inferred that he Is
short in funds, out then he Is long In
hair. Mr.. Bucbter has beard that
trails from his chin length of four
feet and seven inches-fifty-five inches
in all. This barely escaped the atten-
tion Of the cartoonists during the re-
cent campaign. They would have
made a great deal Of man with a
beard four times as long as that Of
Senator PETERS, who, despite all his
hirsute advantages, has resolutely re.
fused to become Populist, but re.
mains staunch Republican.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-02-04
AUDITORS NOTICE.

Estate or Michael FetterolI, deceased.
The undersigned auditor appointed 10 make
distribution TO the parties iuStiy entitled thereto
or TIE balance IN TIE hands or ID. B. Fettero{f dd-
nltnfstrdtOr Of said estate, as appears by his
third and final account, iriU SIT al his aGice on
Thursday February 4, 1897, bct,ceen the hours or
10 and ii a. M TO perform the duties or his aJj-
pointment; Dhen al persons hauiag claims
against said estate should appear, or be debdrred
nom any share IN said J,tld.
j. b. Robson,
AUDITOR.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1897-09-03
ACCOMPANIED by a banjo.

accompanied by a banjo.
No one knew how it happened, but
t'dtd happen. Smoke, heat, tar,-the
fence was on fire They had been too
much occupied with their songs to
think of the boys in connection with
the tar fence, but evidently there was
q connection, and serious ONE.
Too late the fire was noticed; the tar
was fatal enemy, and the little struct-
ure was doomed. With screams of as
tonishmcnt and horror the little group
scattered in every directions; while the
flames quickly spread from the fence
to the house itself. Soon the whole
structure was ablazc. With frightened,
but sympathetic, faces the little crowd
watched the burning cottage with live
Iiest interest. What would Sarah
Binks do? No more "at homes and
pleasant tea-parties.
\ shrill scream from the burning
building reused the men to action. 1t
was Sarah Binks's voice. She must
have gone back into the cottage when
the others fled in terror from the porch.
"Help! help!" came in smothered ac-
cents from the cottage, and Miss Binks
appeared in the doorway, pushing
something before her. In the hustle
and confusion that followed no one
could see what the something was.
Several men rushed through the
flames to her rescue, AMI again her
voice was raised in earnest entreaty.
At last the mystery Of the tar fence
was explained "I'll take care of my
self,-never mind -savc-save my
wheel''
So it was i wheel she had been hid
ing,-she, its declared enemy! No
wonder she smeared the fence with tar
to frighten away those who might be
inclined to carry their Investigations
little too far. There was no use of
further concealment; murder was out;
and, amid a chorus of shouts and hur-
rahs, Miss Binks and her precious
wheel were carried safely beyond the
flames.
How she had managed to convey the
wheel to Springdale undiscovered has
never been made known. 1t was
night to be remembered by all, and
they do remember it. Manifestations
of sympathy were wasted upon Miss
Binks. She had saved her wheel, and,
with the certainty that it had escaped
unharmed, she watched the destruction
of her pretty home with wonderful
calmness and nerve.
She never gave any explanation
about the Wheel Miss Binks never
gave explanations to any one, and the
wheel spoke for itself. She LEFT the
rest to Springdale.
This happened over year ago, and
Springdale has undergone marvellous
| transformation. Miss Binks is Mrs.
Carter now, and she lives in a pretty
stone house near the site of her old
home, and she shares her great popu-
larity with her old enemy-the nheel.
| Home ,I0uraoI
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1897-09-03
YOU AND YOUR GRAND.
FATHER

Are removed from each other by a span
of many years. He travelled in slow
going stage-coach while you take the
lightning express or the electric car.
When he was sick he was treated by
old fashioned methods and given old
fashioned medicines, Lut you demand
modern ideas in medicine as well rs in
every thing else. Hoods Sarsaparilla
is the medicine Of to-day. 1t is pre-
pared by modern methods and to its
preparation are brought the skill and
knowledge of modern science. Hoods
Sarsaparilla acts promptly upon the
blood and by making pure, rich blood
it cures disease and establishes good
health.
''Grandpa, how old are your
IL am 81 years DID, my little dear
"Then you were born 80 years be-
fore | was
Eyes, my little girl
"What long time you had alone
waiting for me-
TelIcr-Grimshaw is the only man
Of my acquaintance who invariably
wins in an argument with a woman.
Asl,ins-How, in the name of won-
der. does lie do it
"Oh !. he states of the case and walks
of :"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1897-09-03
r MARIBOROUGH, MD FRI ~. SEPTEMBER g. 1897

consciousness of the dereliction of duty
so oppressed him that he succumbed
to his emotion, and broke forth in the
memorable lamentations
':Oh, Cromwell! Cromwell. had
but served my G ID with If the
Zeal have served my king he
Woul not have left me naked
To my enemies"
As friend and with the ardent hope
that yol are my frien Is, d. trust that
you, young man. may b. spared such
reflections.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1897-09-03

succesNer had
like rentthik of fright the midst of the offer
Baltimore Made Clothing cash
Not this discount
the where the goods
always
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-05-13
Useful Tattooing.

Why should we not all of us be iden-
titled from youth upward by tattooed
mark? ask The Boston Home Journal.
Men who travel have often found diff
Guilty in getting checks cashed in
strange places and women who enter
tain are frequently taken in by dis
tinguished guests" who prove to be
any persons except the distinguished
ones expected. A tattoo mark, regis
tered somewhere and placed on record
so as not to be initiated without pun
ishment from the law, would be every
bit as useful on human beings as the
brand is on cattle.
Human beings, when disassociated
from their usual attire and surround
ings are distinguished from each other
with even more difficulty than attends
the picking out of particular COW or
horse from a large number. 1t was
Thomas Hughes who declared that a
man would refuse to recognize his best
friend IL the latter was set down In
ragged clothing at street crossing
and he was right. Men escape justice
easily by just such simple devices as
shaving the mustache or growing a
beard, and the lady in stageland who
isn't recognized by her own family
merely because she puts on a different
colored dress Is not unknown in real
life. Philadelphia man has been
discovered with his name and address
tattooed on his arm, and he takes great
pleasure in getting checks cashed at
banks where he is unknown by merely
exhibiting his arm.
Properly arranged, the name and adj
dress of fair debutante, with her fam
lily crest and few incidentals added,
would not disguise her above-glove
arm, and similar markings would be
very useful for all the boys who went
in for athletics and who desired to be
known to the world better than was
possible through letters pinned on the
back and bound to blow OF during the
first bit Of wind.
Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-05-13
Nav Ribbon for Medal of Honor

Among the last official acts OF Pres
ident leveland was to prescribe de-
sign for the knot to be worn in lieu
of the United States medal OF honor
and the ribbon to be worn with the
medal. which was issued for slgnal
acts of personal bravery by soldiers OF
the Union army during the Civil war
The medal is in the form af a five
pointed star, with two of the points
at the top, to which are attached TWO
tiny cannon crossing each other, .on
which rests the American eagle with
wings spread. To the tips of these
wings the ribbon is fastened and on
the top edge of the ribbon is the fancy
shaped piece with shield in the CEN
ter. and pin on the back. for attach
ing the medal to the coat.
Secretary of War Daniel s. Lamont
issued a general order stating the de-
signs prescribed by the president, and
now the new ribbons and the bowknot
are being distributed. The order from
the former secretary of war says: "A
ribbon to be worn with the medal of
honor. and knot to be worn in lieu
of the medal, are prescribed and es-
tablished by tho President of the Unit
ed States. to be each of pattern as
follows: Tie ribbon to be of silk,
one inch wide and one inch in length,
the center stripe of white one-six-
teenth of an inch wide, ianked on
either side by stripe of blue seven
thirty-scconds of an inch wide. bor-
dered by two stripes of red, each one
quarter of an inch wide. The knot
to be bow knot of the same combine
tion of colors as the ribbon above de-
scribed."
The entire list the country over in
cludes about 600 men, some OF whom
are officers and others only common
soldiers.