The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-11-14


.-.-........ ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS.
This was followed by a poster from the
conservative side:
Vote for johnson and dam the
flowing tide.
. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES.
DR.. Johnson once happened to offend
an individual of the uneducated classes.
who thereupon remarked, You're no gen.
tleman.' You're no judge" replied the
doctor
A conceited fellow, with some preten-
sions to literature once travelled some dis
lance by rail with Victor Hugo, and en-
tertained the great author with much ego
tistic converse. The author of Les MIS-
erables," having arrived at his destina-
ton, was about to leave the train, when
his interlocutor said: you may perhaps
like to know who I am. I am Victor
Hugo" How DID," remarked the real
Hugo. $50 am l."
Joseph Hume was of lowIy origin. and
some one had the bad taste once to tell
him he was born on a dunghill. Yes,
says Hume, at is true 1 was born on
dunghill, and l am now a member of par
lament. Had my reproacher been born
on dunghill he would have remained on
dunghill all his life"
The Cchoolman Duns Scotus was dining
with the French king of his day, when
the latter jokingly said: 'Duns. can you
tell US the difference between Scotus and
Sotus?" Just the width of the table, your
majesty" was the prompt reply.
local preacher, being anxious to in
terview Rev. c. H. Spurgeon, called at his
house, but was informed by the servant
maid that the great preacher was engag-
ed. Tell him." said the caller, that the
servant of the Lord wishes to see him.
"Ah!' replied Mr.. Sturgeon, tell the SER
want of the Lord 1 am engaged with his
Master"
Lord Norbury and Counselor Parsons
were passing by the Mas Jail in the
judges carriage, when Norbury. MOTTO
ing a vacant gibbet. observed: Parsons
where would you be if that gallows had
it's due?" Without a seconds hesitation
Parsons responded: Riding alone"
I was present at a conservative public
meeting held in Derbyshire in the autumn
election campaign of 1885. The conserva-
tive candidate took exception to a state
ment reported to have been made in a
speech by his opponent a few days earlier
as to what he (the liberal candidate) was
going to do when 1 am your represen-
tative in parliament" and said II think
Mr.. - (meaning the liberal candi-
date is counting his chickens before they
are Matched" "Ah! but he is a good sit
ter shouted a collier from the back of
the hall.
Old Languet the celebrated cure of St.
Sulpice, was remarkable and disagreea-
BILE for the importantly with which he
solicited subscriptions for finishing the
church, which is not yet completed. One
day at supper, where Cardinal De F'leury
was, he happened to say that he had seen
his eminence's portrait at some painters
The old cardinal, who was stingy in pri-
vate as well as economical in public ex-
penditure, was glad to raise a laugh at
the expense of the troublesome old cure,
and replied: Il dare swear. then, that
you asked it (the picture) to subscribe to
your new church. "Oh, no, my lord, -
said Languet, sit was too like"
Sir Nicolas Bacon had once to sentence
a number of malefactors to be hanged.
One of these, by name Hogg, pleaded hard
for mercy and, among other pleas put in
that of kinship. NAY" says Bacon,
chow do you make that out?" Says the
prisoner: MY name is Hogg, and yours
is Bacon, and Hogg has ever been kin to
Bacon" Not" says Bacon, It'll it has
firmed the sentence.
Dean Trench's clever snub to an impu-
dent young subaltern deserves high rank
as piece of repartee. The youngster had
asked the dean what was the difference be-
tween a dean and donkey. To which the
reply was that while one had a cross on
his back the other wore it on his breast.
And what" returned the dean, may I
ask, is the difference between a subaltern
and donkey?'' Il don't know" was the
response. ''Nor do t. was the deans re-
ply as he turned away.
A Roman Catholic priest met one day a
lady whose spiritual condition, in his opin-
ion, was not satisfactory, and greeted her
with: Good morning, daughter of the
evil one" Good morning, father" was
the smart reply
Scotchman--W Well sir, what did you think
of my country?
DR.. Johnson-Why, sir, that it is a very
vile country, to be sure.
Scotchman ill pleased)-After all, sir,
| God made it.
DIR. Johnson-True, sir, but you must re-
member that he only made it for Scotch
men, and for the matter OF that sir COM
parsons are odious, but-God made he'll!
Mr.. LdldnQe, dining at tne mouse Oh he
camier, the banker was seated between
the celebrated beauty, Nine. Recamier,
and the distinguished wit, Nine De Stael.
Thinking to be agreeable to the ladies, the
astronomer exclaimed: How happy l am,
thus placed between wit and beautyr'
"Yes, Mr.. Lalande," sarcastically retorted
Nine. De Stael, land without possessing
either"
As is we'll known, the finest poem Ed
mund Waller ever wrote was his panegyrie
of the lord protector. Yet at the restora-
ton the poet addressed another pane
gyric to Charles II. Master Waller"
said the king to him on his coming to
court, chose verses you wrote on Crom-
we'll are, they tell me, far better than
those you have written on me-" Sire
was the apt and courter-like reply, poets
always excel more in fiction than in TRUTH
young girl was taken in to dinner by
a solicitor, who probably, considering her
too youthful for it to be worth his while
TO make himself agreeable, barely spoke
a single word to her during the meal. 1t
co hanDened that she had before dinner