Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1897-07-24


"LET ME OUT AMT WELL. LET ME GO I"
ing off the thief with facetious sort Of
torture for which he would have gained
a premium from the old inquisition.
81 say, Scth"--said the storekceper,
coming in and closing the door after
him, slapping his hands over his shoul-
ders and stamping the snow off his feet.
Seth had his hand on the door, his
hat on his head, and the roll of butter
in his hat, anxious to make his exit as
soon as possible.
II say, Seth, sit down. l reckon now
on such n cold night as this little some
thing warm would not hurt fellow"
Seth felt very uncertain. He had the
butter and was exceedingly anxious to
be off, but the temptation Of something
warm sadly interfcred with his resolu-
ton to go. This hesitation, however,
was soon settled by the right owner of
the butter taking Seth by the shoulders
and planting him in a seat close to the
stove, where he was in such manner
corncrcd in by the boxes and barrels
that while the grocer stood before him
there was no possibility of getting out,
and right in this very place, sure
enough, the storekeeper sat down.
"Seth, We'll have little warm San
tn Cruz, " said the Green plountain gro
Ger, So he opened the stove door and
stuffed in as many sticks as the place
would admit. "Without it you d freeze
going home such a night as this"
Seth already felt the butter settling
down closer to his hair, and he jumped
up, declaring he must go.
"Not till you have something warm,
Seth. Seth, come, I've got story to
tell you" And Seth was again rushed
into his seat by his cunning tormentor.
"Oh, it's so hot here, " said the petty
thief, attempting to rise.
"Sit down. Don't be in such hur-
ry," replied tho grocer, pushing him
back into the chair.
but I've the cows to fodder and the
wood 10 split, and l must be going"
said the prosecuted chap.
But you mustn't tear yourself away,
Seth, in this manner. Sit down, let the
COWS take care of themselves, and keep
yourself cool. You appear to be little
fidgety," said the roguish grocer, with
wicked leer.
The next thing was the production of
two smoking glasses of hot toddy, the
very sight Of which, in Seth's present
situation, would have made the hair
stand erect upon his head had it not
been well oiled and kept down by the
butter.
Seth, will give you toast now,
and you can butter it YOURSELF" said
the grocer, with an air of such consum-
mate simplicity that poor Seth believed
himself unsuspected. ''Seth, here's a
Christmas goose. we'll roasted, ehp l
tell you it's the greatest eating in crea-
tion. And, Seth, don't you never use
hogs fat or common cooking butter to
| baste it with. Come, take your butter
i meaL, Seth, take your toddy."
Poor Seth now began to smoke as
well as melt, and his mouth WINS her
metically sealed up as though he had
been born dumb. Streak after streak oi
the butter came pouring from under hi
hat and his handkerchief was already
soaked with the greasy overflow. Talk
ing away as if nothing was the matter
the fun loving grocer kept stufllng Woo
into the stove, while poor Seth sat up
right, with his back against the coun
ter and his knees touching the redho
furnace in front.
"Cold night, this" said the grocer
"Why, Seth, you seem TO perspire as i
you Were warm. Why don't you tak'
your hat OFF, Here, let me put your ha
away"
"No," exclaimed poor Seth at last
"No, must go. Let me out. ain
well. Let me CO."
A greasy cataract was now pouring
down the poor mans face and neck
and soaking into his clothes, and tric
king down his body into his boots, 81
that he was literally in perfect batl
of oil.
"Well, good night, Seth" said tn
humorous Nermonter, "if you will go,
and adding as the man darted out @
the door, II say, Seth. reckon the ful