Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-09-11
MRS. AE1y!cHyRcH's BUTLER
A Bloody RlSishsrs Who Played the JsEI-
e Hyds Rola
The Mi.trss. Of the Household Re-
turns Home HHnexpectediy and
Make. : Discovery.

Henry. or Enry, As he calls himself, for
be is English all over. Is a butler in a
private residence not far from Connecticut
avenue. Until recently he was deemed by
the mistress sof the household to be the
veriest model of propriety. who. whenever
ne has occasion, speaks of rs 'Igh'ness,
the Prince of Wales, with bated breath.
and Is ireverently termed Henry Mud. in
stead OF Clay. on account of his extremely
dignffied bearing and courtliness Of man
ner. Butter in Henry's mouth would stand
almost as good a chance Of surviving the
warm weather as it would In a patent ice
box, and 1t has been told Of him that he
kept the dinner guests waiting for ten
minutes once. while he fixed a slightly
disarranged white tie. When chided by
the hostess for this he remarked in an in
5ured tone Of voice.. with the appearance
OF meekness personified: IT couldn't 'elp 1t.
mum. know you wouldn't ave 'ad me
n appear in such a 'astily h'arranged hun
dressed temperance, num-"
MRS. Hichurch's opinion has undergone q
mighty change in regard to 'Enry's being
such a saint as she fondly imagined him
TO be- She had occasion to remark to an
env1ous friend once that the only trouble
with her butler was she was afraid, he
would sprout wings suddenly some day,
and sail aloft to the regions reserved only
Tor the truly good. She does not think he
Will need to do anything but tumble the
way he Is headed now, and a parachute
will be the only thing to restrain him.
Becomes Chief Priest.
The family closed up the house early in
the summer and went to Atlantic City for
the season. They were not expected to re-
turn until early in October but a sudden
desire on the part of Mrs. Hichurch to visit
the house over which 'Enry had been in
stalled chief priest in the family's absence
induced her to come back for a day. Mr..
Hich1rch had to come on business and
she accompanied him. When they reached
the city in the morning, having spent the
night in Philadelphia, Mrs. Hichurch took
a green line car, leaving her husband down
town to transact some business, and Wis
TIED the house. She had a key to the
front door, which she unlocked She enter
ed and saw no signs of the major domo.
she paused moment, when she heard
sounds proceeding from the dining room
winch sounded strange and yet familiar.
Venturing closer. she was surprised to
near. In her sanity buffers voice. it is true,
out, Oh! how different. the most awful
sounds of profanity she could have mag
ined. Oaths followed one another like sec
ions OF an excursion train to the seashore
Wnlcn seemed to gain impetus like a big
lmprecations, ''cuss words" and Insults
directed at nobody in particular 1t appear.
ed, poured forth, in torrent 1t was n
case ca OF Jekyii and, Hyde personified. Shock
through half-closed door, ard saw 'Enrv
WIN mis- arms uplifted, his face red in a
perfect frenzy giving vent to his awful
profanity. HIS dtction finally ended with:
sample Expression.
There. BLAST yer bloomin' buster buttons
You white-liveFed. sneakin' pug-faced hyp-
ocrite. 'ow does yer like ter h'act the
saint fer two pounds week and shame on
you fer a mS5h. yqn h'apology of Bri-
tisher.'' AZ -
Burning with Indignation that her house
should be made theiscene of such an out
burst Mrs. HiehurcH pushed the door omen
ard appeared -beforeh the astonished butler.
with: 'A'i'''
Henry, have you taken leave of your
senses; WhaTdo you mean by such hor-
rible language and such conduct In INV
house. Tell ms what you mean, instant
w. .C3 4s~.--~s
Enry's demeanor changed in, an instant.
he was so surprised at first that he could
om,y gasp and mfptter Il meant no arm,
Finally whend he had recovered he said
with tears In his eyes, and sob in his
voice:
Il 'ope you won't think ard of me. mum.
It's the only way 1 ave Of amusin' meself.
mum. It's my only relaxation. mum.
hind I don't believe 1 could live without 1t,
mum. You see, was in the navy, which
is a tough place. savin' your presence,
mum, before was q butler.
Reason for the Outburst.
Hive just got to let myself loose
sometimes mum. when nobody is around.
Hits the only way I can keep agoin',
mum. Hif 1 didn't do this 1 would break
loose sometimes when it wouldn't be right,
mum. HIVE been dom it every mornin'
regular ever since you left, num- The
reason 1 take the dining room is that hits
there l ave to keep my composure most,
mum. l sincerely 'ope you will pardon
me-" r-r
Mrs. Hichurch was tempted to discharge
him on the spot. but ended with bursting
into laughter. which continued until she
returned to her husband
Henry still retains his place in the house.
hold. and IL any unusual monologues are
heard issuing from his room at any time,
nothing is thought of It. He is always as
silent and dignified as ever in the presence
of the family.