The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-03-06
'EIHART, MONTANA. MARCH t. 1897.
THE FOXY DUCHESS.
She Proves Too shrewd For Chimmie Fad
den and Mr.. Paul.

den and Mr.. Paul.
oh, well. I says. i don't see your
name on any buttons.
"When I says dat t. de duchess she
says was a little beast, what is her
form way of giving me de frosty face.
Let me tell you. Ever since dat time
when / danced wild Maggie do house
maids sister out on top of de stage de
duchess has been leary of me, and has
hard time to lose her long enough e.
go over t. Mr.. Pauls t. give him his
boxing exercise every day. But she's
terrible awful sweet on me, just de
same, dough something woise has hap
pened SINCE Da's a funny ting about
women. Dey kicks till dey nearly gets
de swell knee if you does little ting
like giving annoder goil kiss, but dey
never is SO nice to you as when dey
kicks. 1t don't make no difference how
long a man is up against de game of
women, he is always a farmer at it--a
dead farmer.
"De duchess says dat she knows I'm
stuck on Maggie's sister, what knowed
before de duchess come from form parts,
and she says Maggie was in de job t.
give me a chance t. see her sister, and
she's made tings go de odder way from
Maggie so fast she looks like chicken
chasing grasshopper. But all de time
tings is coming my way SO fast from de
duchess ] has t. wear catcher's gloves
to hold 'em.
"Can you explain dat? No, nobody
can't. It's just because women is queer
form women, particular. Why, say,
de duchess calls me "a little beast and
makes bluff at giving me de frozen
face, but all de same never was in it
so hard as now. Dere amt noting she
won't do for me-except yield up any
of all dat Doodle she's pinched from me.
But I'm awinner on every odder lay,
sure.
Always till now had t. get Mag
| gle t. darn me socks and sew on me but
tons. I was taking some of em t. her de
odder day when de duchess says, Let
me do dat for you, Chames; Maggie
doesn't do EN- neatful. Well, she done
en-. Say, if l took of me shoes me
socks would put your eye out. De duch
ess darned EN- wild dose giddy silk yarns
Miss Fannie makes fancy tings wild
and me Trilbys look like dey was green,
yellow and blue posters.
"But dat ISM what / was going t. tel
you about Mr.. Paul heard about me
dancing out on top Of de stage wild
Maggie's sister. Yes, I told him. Mr..
Paul and me gets pretty chummy wher
l boxes wild him, and we has a small
bot afterward t. take de dust ont Of oul
troats. Honest, dere amt noting makes
! you SO chummy wild a man as t. spa
wild him-if you spar hard, and Mr..
Paul won't have it no odder way
'Chames, says he t. me de odder day
when he gives me glass t. trow in mt
face, how is it,, says he, dat yor
danced wild de goil you was telling mi
about?'
I can't cop your light on how W,
done it except I has de goil t. dance
wild. says I.
''Den he looked solum, like he doe
when he has a game on. and says: Ism
dat in de realms of poss 'bility? You fl,
de job. says he, and I'll pay d'
freight.
"Dat was enough for me; SO I cop
Maggie de game, and she writes t. hel
steady, what's me friend de barkeep, t
Ak de layout. Well, say, he fixed it'll
got night off, telling de duchess dat
was going t. take Mr.. Paul to boxing
match, and she didn't say void. W.
ohases into town, Mr.. Paul and me did
and after de teeater Maggie's sister ant
some odder goils what dances wild he
shows up at Mr. Paul's town house
He don't do tings on de small. Dat'
right. He had orchestra dere and bot
ties t. drown whale and grub up t. d,
limit.
II introduces him as his own valet
what is little game swell mugs is ~
to once in awhile when dey is travel
ing in company dey don't beslongs to
Well, we wasn't having ting but fun
Maggie's sister and me showed EN- d,
high shoulder speel till Mr.. Paul ant
his friends near died laughing. Ting
was going along like a hurry call am
bulance, when all Of suddent, p'chee
in waltzes de duchess. 1 taut den wa
|
leyed us into town, and, knowing Mr.
Paul's servants. she made de sneak il
de house all right. just braced mesel
for a earthquake, but what do you tink
Honest. de duchess was smiling t. bea
de band, and dat did scare me, sure
She says e. Mr.. Paul dat If he wanted
t. see good dancing dere was no use 60
ing t. de trouble of coming t. town ant
getting dose 'canaille,' what is forl
word.
All you has t. do she says, 'wher
you want e. see Chim,nie dance, ia I
stay at home in de country and ask hin
and me over to your house.
Twas paralyzed, cause Icouldn't ge
on t. her curves a little bit, but Mr.
Paul was as cool as a small bottle. ant
says dat he didn't suppose de duchess
would do him de honor; but If sh,
would, de music and de floor was a
her service. he says. What do you tinl
dat goil done? She told de band what t
play, told de 'canaille' t. chase dere
selves t. de wall, and den she danced
Say, it was de best dat ever como owe
de hill Even dose odder girls yelled
murder wild JOY. tink de duchess mus
have been trained for it. II I'd beef
rum dumb, I couldn't been more par
alyzed. De next day Mr.. Paul sent TO
me and de duchess, and he says t. her
as polite as ever he spoke in his life
'Hortense, says he, i done you wronl
in asking Cbames t. 90 on a lark ant