The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-02-11
The CABLE CAR JOKE.
He of the Jaded Taste Tells Why 1t Does
Not Appeal to Him.


81 have never been told by nv
friends said the dyspeptic man, that
l lacked a sense of humor." His man
ner was earnest, although it was per-
fectly plain that anybody who had at
tributed such an amiable quality to
him had flattered the man unconscion-
ably. Il can see a joke, and | have oc-
casionally got off a few myself that
have made my friends laugh because
they did not happen to like the other
man. Usually they We're about man
| didn't like, come to think of it. But
at all events, people laughed, and have
never been accused of lacking a sense of
humor.
But l refuse to laugh at the one
thing which is most frequently pre-
scented to me in the light of a joke. 1
refuse even to smile at circumstances
which seemed to me deficient in every
element of humor. But, perhaps, three
or four times every day | am asked, if
not by word, at least by manner, to eX-
hibt hilarity over one particular Incl
dent of the kind [ mean.
ut confronts me usually in its most
aggravated form at Fourteenth street
and Broadway, or at the corner of Fiji
ty-third street and Broadway. Then it
is liable to occur at any other point
along the cable line when person of
inferior mentality and an unframed
gripman come into temporary cOnjunc-
ton. What they want me to smile at
comes about in this way: The cable
car dashes around the curve. n man
thrown violently forward tramps all
over my feet, or dashes headlong at me,
knocks off my hat, and leaps into my
lap. Then he looks at me and smiles
at the joke with geniality that plain
ly invites me to laugh with him. It's
very funny, says his manner unmis-
takably, and we'd better laugh to-
gcther.' | am asked to laugh because
my toes are crushed, my hat mashed or
clothes mussed. Naturally 1 refuse to
respond to any such invitation. When
! go into any Joke of that kind want to
do it voluntarily, and if I'm to be sub
jected to any such physical strain, /
wont laugh unless I'm allowed to have
a much of a chance at the game as the
other fellow. If I'm allowed to jump
on his feet, mash his hat, and other
wise damage him, I'll smile back and
think the joke Just as good as he does,
But ! see no humor in the thing when
am reading a newspaper and he goes at
me without word of warning. The
rame is too One-Sided TO amuSe anV but
one of the men that is in it.
every time they look into my face
and expect me to laugh at anything OF
the kind, whether it be a man or "A
woman, or only a 90-pound cash CIR
going home from work, | can't help
thinking of the magnificent prospect
for a philanthropist' efforts that very
question opens up. Think of a gen
| crous-hearted citizen who would give
| some of his millions toward the estab
| lshment of a branch of kindergarten
learning by which people would be
| taught to ride in cable cars. No more
| sudden and disastrous rushes from one
| end of the car to the other a finish tc
| the desperate clutching at elusive
| straps, and the resulting tumble into
The lap of the passenger beneath. VIVA
saving of narrowed tempcrs, strained
| nerves and damaged feet. Possibly sOmf
| people would never be able to learn
| but the younger generation might take
| to H. What an achievement for phil
anthropist! What a generous use o.
| 1nOney,"-N. Y. Sun,