The silver lance., 1897-11-05
cludes taking lot Of medicine.
The 1897 variety of mosquito makes
more noise than a parlor organ.

more noise than parlor organ.
The bill poster is the only man who
can work circus man to frazzle.
Considering the experience they have
had, how little people know Of love.
Railroad mems wives hate each other
almost as cordially as doctors wives.
Men do lots of child's tricks at forty
that the women quit doing at twenty.
Very few men become models Of any
kind until they become grandfathers.
II the world loves lover. it is because
it is not compelled to see much Of him.
When society becomes dull, some
widower usually acts gay to amuse the
women.
How the ghosts must flock around
when a widower falls in love with a
! widow!
| Many people claim to be working for
the Lord, who are really working for
notoriety.
What a nice companion a fly makes
after you have had an experience with
mosquito!
! When a mans head is swelled, the
BARRIERS ought to charge more for cut
ting his hair.
When women speak Of promised
visit from friend, they mean threat
ened" instead.
When a boy has tooth pulled, he
carries it around at least a month, to
show to people.
How the people pick at astrange bride
and say her husband could have done
better at home.
| Anecdotes proving that prayers are
answered sound good deal like patent
medicine testimonials.
A man should allow his legs to be
pulled occasionally: it makes the other
man feel good anyway.
Keep your most precious possession
hidden; maybe other people will NOT
think as much Of it as you do.
A Topeka woman entertained a visitor
three days last winter, and this summer
visited her two months. II you must
visit, make it pay.
What fool man is to swill beer be
cause it is free! And what fool he ID
to drink it at any other time. OF all the
fool habits, liquor drinking is probably
the worst.
Train robbers never get anything. Ir
ninety per cent Of the train robberies
that occur the robber bandits are out
the cost Of the dynamite, and don't gel
back expenses.
When man Is married. his eyesight ii
very clear in picking out girls who woule
make good wives, but when he is single
and in the market, his eyesight is ne
clearer than any other mans.
A young man who formerly made him
self very obnoxious by talking Of the inn
portance of a college education, anc
practicing college yells on the street, d
now working in soap factory.
Whenever we pick up = newspaper w
turn with pleasure to the news from
China. They are having floods ovel
there that wash away whole cities. 1t il
like getting Whit from the pleasant
long ago to read OF rain.
A fly is fool. Thousands Of them col
lect in this Office, where there is nothing
to eat. Why don't they go to a grocery
store, or to q kitchen, where there Il
plenty.
Grocers and women are very unfortu
nate people: they are compelled to please
through the stomach. The eye il
pleased dozen times where the stomach
is pleased once.
Blunders have their uses. The bes
business concerns in the country wer'
built I'D by a series Of expensive blum
ders. No successful business was eve
success from the start.
If a woman's daughters hang on tn
parent stem like undesirable apples, sh'
is clever enough to take the stand tina
no girl should marry before she is thirty
it robs her Of her girlhood.
A man can't be an angel all the time
, When the women discovers that = MAJ
is particularly indulgent husband, tn
men reply that he Is particularly hard :
. get along with in business.
{ Another prosperity story is going th