The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1897-05-16

on variety OF oplcS. az = .-
I ting our grandmothers sleep in peace,
! that there will never be comfortable
chair-that is, comfortable for a woman
until woman has designed one. The
masculine chair designer concludes that
all women's waists are Of the same length,
and the consequence is that while one
| slypn-l like maiden finds rather more OF
herself on the floor than she desires, n
shorter sister is dangling in midair Wo-
men understand the agOnies endured by
| other women in the chair Of to-day. A
woman knows what it means at dinner
to be placed in a huge arm chair, that,
while it looks very historical and pictur-
| esqne, is, to a small woman, a veritabe
seat OF torture. If she wants to eat her
dinner she has to sit on its tip edge, with
no support from its back: if she attempts
to lean against the back the seat is SO
| flightfully long and so much Of her gets
on it, that she looks as if she had stretch
| ed herself out for a nap. Then, OF course,
| some big. horsey woman will credit her
with lacking manners and assuming u
| "slouchy" attitude.
Then there's that small, gilt chair, Pc
| culiar to drawing-rooms. A man weigh.
/ ing over 100 forgets himself sits on it,
breaks ii. and has to send his hostess
| SO worth OF flowers the next day. Then
| there's that deceptive rocking chair, the
| one which doesn't announce to the world
| that ii rocks. and when you sit upon it,
/ with n certain emphasis, it goes flying
| back and shows to the assemblage the
soles of your slippers. Then that creaky
chair never hear that creaky chair that
| don't think of young woman who
| married an old man who had the rheu-
| matism dreadfully; for 1 have always
wondered if, when wanting little mon
ry. she sat on his lap and put her arms
| around his neck to prove just how much
| She loved him, he creaked at the shout
ders and knees and elbows just as that
] type of chair does. There is one chair
| that is, without any exception, the most
| absolutely vicious imaginable-you have
to have an acquaintance with it just as
you do with vice. You first endure, then
pity, then embrace-or, rather. it en-
braces you. 1t is built to fold up in vari-
Gus positions and only one of the whole
| lot is comfortable. To hide its crimes it
| is usually cushioned. Perhaps a strange
man enters, looks about your dra wing
room. and sees the same enticing air
about that wret:hed chair that vice pos
sesses for its votaries. He goes toward
it. and in an easy manner seats himself
on the end. Down goes chair, man. and
all. II he's small, he's buried under the
cushion: if he's large, it j. interesting t.
hear the w.cke'i words no says to in
crease ones vocabulary. Occasionally
somebody learns the one way to manage
that choir. You've got to find the exact
center Of it. sit down there, and then you
are monarch OF all you survey. Neither
man, woman, nor spOok however, retains
a remembrance as to where the centre
of that chair is, as the cushions have a
horrid way Of sliding round and making
the middle, or rather the find of the mid
die, subject for the X-rays. When that
chair was first seen and bought by an in
nocent woman it was accompanied by
printed testimonials from wel-known peo-
pie who had found it comfortable and
couldn't live without it, These we'll
known people must have been saints who
thought modification good for the soul,
and the hard. hard floor a place Of joy.
The morality of the ancient chair was
great, but the immortality of modern
one cannot be surpassed.
/ All a<cHt the SIudFI girl mas
been getting herself in condition, from
the standpoint of her voca bulary, to go on
| the other side. She says, fancy" for
suppose and guess" She would rather
| die than say guess" because then any
body would know she was one OF those
horrid Americans. Anything from a din
ner to a ball she calls function" per-
sonally, always think of a funeral as
function. II you meet her on the avenue,
just after she's been to wedding, and
you ask her about the brides dress, all
that she can drawl out is. st was an
awfully fetching frock, don't you know"
Clever is a favorite- word with her-the
picture she admires is "a clever bit OF
canvass" II you ask her if she plays the
mis- she says "Yes, but | am not at all
clever at it." Then, if she's disappointed
about anything, it is ''such a blow" And
the opposite to this is ''such a pleasure"
She never has heard of store: she buys
her belongings at "a rather decent
shop" And if you ask her about dance
she says, "Oh, had rather a fetching
time, for there were lots of delightful
men out last night" She's good bit of a
fool, but she's funny; and therefore. she
does her duty in life. It's more than
amusing to hear her say '.stop atone"
when she means "stay at home" For a
certain glibness is necessary to achieve
success in this last combination of two
words. Still, there's nothing absolutely
wicked in what she's doing, and she will
get over it after awhile. The American
girl of the best breed has these attacks
of folly just as a full bred pup has the
mango. Very simple medicine cures both
diseases. A dose OF good sense will fin
lsh up the first, and little buck thorn |
will straighten out the second. Believe |
1T! l assure you it's true on the word of |
dog doctor and of Bah