Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-10-07
A PRACTICAL JOKE.
one That Had Some Good and III Re-
suits for the JOkerE.


suits for the Jokers.
The "Pickings" man fell in with
squad of lawyers yesterday who We're
talking about practical jokes. II have
not INDUCED in practical jokes for
many years" said an old ex-judge. Il
was very fond of playing all sorts OF
jokes on other persons when was q
young man, but was cured of the hab-
it very effectually.
Il was attending the Cincinnati law
school about the time the war broke
out; my most intimate chum was the
son of a man who kept a large retail
hardware store on Main street, in Gin
cinnati. He was a practical joker as
well as myself, and between US we
managed TO mal0ea good deal of trouble
for others This young man assisted
in his fathers store when not engaged
in his studies or attending lectures,
and often loafed around there myself
when not engaged.
One afternoon in the spring of 1861
/ went into the store to see Billy and
found j. nearly full of farmers buying
their spr'rg hardware. Billy was be-
hind the counter selling an old man
some trace chains. Walking up to the
counter, leaned over and Kissed a saw
age defiance in his ear as If we were the
bitterest enemies instead of the closest
friends. Billy saw the point and
grabbed up an old toy pistol that could
not have been fred if it had been load
ed, and with a face as black as thun-
der cloud yelled that he intended TO
blow my lungs, livers and lights into
the middle of next week.
Il jumped behind the customer and
begged him for Gods sake not to shoot
The effect was electrical The old man
started for the front door at a 2:40 gait
yellingmurcfer, andin his fight knocled
down rack against which some cross
cut saws and other loose pieces of iron
were leaning, making q great noise.
Every customer in the store became
panic-stricken and bolted without
waiting TO find out what the racket
was all about.
TO keep up the farce, / ran with
the rest stumbled over nail keg
and fell and broke my leg below the
knee. The sudden exodus scared some
teams that were in front of the store,
and two or three of them ran away.
These teams ran against other vehicles,
SO that all told there were more than
a dozen wagons and other vehicles
wrecked But this was not thewOrst of
it. Some one, hearing the cry of muir
der, and seeing the excited throng,
sent for the police The station was
only two squares away, and in
about two minutes about 30 policemen
came in body on a dead run, under
the impression that there was riot
and that murder had been committed.
by this time there must have been
1000 men In the street, which was fair
~ blocked for a whole square. The
police knocked down and ran over more
than so men before they could reach
the front door. Some one yelled fire,
and in less time than it takes TO tell
it several engines galloped up. One
line of hose was finally forced through
the crowd, and IL at the show window,
which had to be demolished, as it was
impossible to get in at the door. An
other company put up ladders and de-
second story in their search for the
fire, and not finding it raised their lad
ders TO the third story, which was
treated in the same way.
while the racket was at Ats worst
lay among the nail kegs with a broken
leg. AS soon as 1t was discovered that
nobody had been killed and there was
no sign of fire the crowd slowly dis
persed, and ! was carried across the
street to a drug store. was sent to
a hospital, and did not get out for
month. After had been taken to the
hospital Billy sneaked out to see me
and we promised, each other to say
nothing about our horse play in the
store, and nobody seemed to know how
the trouble started Billy's father al
ways seemed to think that the old
farmer who raised the first yell and
started on a run for the door had been
seized with sudden fit of insanity.
AFTER I was able to get around on
clutches. Billy brought his mother and
sister out to the hospital to see me,
and as had been hurt in the store of
the young lady's father, she insisted
that be taken to their house to re-
main until fully recovered. That girl
became my wife more than 30 years
ago, or soon after l came out of the
army. OF course told her how the
racket started before we were married,
and she promised to say nothing about
1t, though for several years, whenever
she thought I was getting too gay,
she would threaten to tell the old man,
and she kept this up as long as he lived.
have not engaged in practical Jokes
since."-Indianap Sentinel.