Evening star., 1897-05-13
WHAT PHILOSOPHER DooLEY SAYS
He Analyses the Situation Betvvee
Greece and Turkey.

=" MAI xn1AVSVf~hfkk OOOL6Y GA -
He Analyses the Situation Between
Greece and Turkey.
From the Chicago Post.
9TH throuble" said Mr.. Dooley between
tn Greeks an tn Turks has diviloped now
to tn bloodiness an ferocity iv a game iv
duplicate whist. Whin Greek meets Greek.
as tn good book says. thin comes tn tug iv
war; but whin Greeks meets Turk. thin
comes tn thriple-injined, three-deck steam
ship iv war. an don't We f'rget it,
me sympathies are with tn Greeks"
said Mr.. Hennessy. "They have gloryous
thraditions iv thin old heroes. Julius Cae-
sar-an' tn like iv thin. Oh, isles iv Greece,
as tn pote says
They're not poorin' amy on tn throu-
bled wathers," said Mr.. Dooley with fond
smile. That's a joke. Hinnissy: take 1t
home with ye an thaw 1t out. It's good
wan. 'Tis tn on'y joke on tn war that's
been made in tn sixth war-rd Otherwise
TIL war is no jokin' matther, an II amy
wan will tell me what's been done I'll rnt
pew f'r him In tn Greek church fr
year. r..Whin tn sultan give ordhers to his
rabs Edam Pat Shaw fh to move down on
tn Greeks. an tn Greek king wired Gin raj
Oroocadato rr to proceed north an meet tn
dog iv an infidel an smother him under
their fruit wagons, l thought in the inno-
cence tv my heart that 'twud be like you
comm up firm Halsted sthreet an me COM
in down firm tn bridge, an tn both iv us
meetin at Deerin' sthreet an havin' 1t out
on tn sidewalk. So l found q map in tn
newspaper an started fr to thrace tn
evints iv tn war. Now me map was all
right tn first day an l had tn Pass iv Mill
Mooney an tn City iv Larissa properly
pegged; an on wan side iv tn mountains
was Oroocodato an a well-ar-rmed an
risolute army iv special correspondents
while on tn other side was Edam Pat Shaw
an other Numbers of the Pat Shaw family
In tx,@
newspaper correspondents, singin' their
bsrbaric war songs an sendin' tillygraph
message collect.
But tn mex day there come some new
towns into tn scrap. There was tn town
Nv Artie, where tn see-gars come firm, an
that wasn't in my map. Thin come Isal-
vopey an Sallzarnica an Nozeroes an Lito-
cbareon an Boozeville an other towns that
was left out iv tn geography that my
map was made firm, an now don't know
whether tn Greeks an tn Turks are fight
in in Asia Minor, New Jersey or the Skokie
Cut-On. I'm that confused.
AT amy rate, both sides Is confident iy
victhry. Edam Pat Shaw, who has since
been superseded be Osman Pat Shaw, TIL
boy hero fv Plevna, he gathered his thrusty
correspondents around him, an their saw
age faces lit up with joy at his words:
Men he said. Turkey ixpicts livery man to
DO his jooty to-day he says. 'Ray-mim-
Ter tn cross an tn crlss-cent an charge
nome tn hereto dogs he says. Loud
shouts iv Koppee, koppee, which is tn
Turkish battle cry. responded to this ap-
peal AT the same time tn Greek gin'ral
accompanied be tn rile family iv discind-
ants iv Leonidas through Ole Oleson, had
assimbled his men. Greece he says.
Stands today as 1t stood two thousand
years ago." he says. We must conquer or
ole. Let US by our actions add to tn sacred
Eames iv Per-icles, Leonidas an Aristides
IN names fv Skouzes, Mavrocordatovitch
an Muldoon.' To this there were loud re-
sponses iv Spay srates.' which is tn Greek
ha "a os1Io },
fr m Skyroon to Metaphas, where they en-
countered tn Turks. while tn Turks dashed
acrost tn plains firm Gazoon an met tn
Greeks at Garoogaroo TIL fact that they
didn't meet each other in tn same place ac-
counts fr tn absence of bloodshed. 1t re-
Quires gr-reat deal iv strategy rr a gin'-
raj to arrange it so that while he is en-
counterin' tn 'inimy in wan place tn inimy
is encounterin' him twinty miles away"
Who dye thinkll VIM" asked Mr. Hen
Messy
I've got me money on TIL Turk know
his habits Is not what they ought to be- his
relations with tn fair sex bein' frivolous
an widespread, but he's been up again tn
orst tv 1t fr long time. think IL some
~ thin long-haired missionary men come
to my town an 1 was Turk. an they
thried to tell me that tn rel-igun iv me
father was sindin' me to hell, which it was,
IG hand thin tn top row iv bricks firm tn
to see Turkey wiped off tn map 'Tis ali
right in its way. I'd blame sight sooner
be a Turk an set in me boomers, an
smoke me rubber hose an watch me wives
thryin' to poison each other. thin I wud be
an enlightened German, FIR instance an
have to eat hard coal an have me face
slapped be pimply-faced boy captain. TIL
Turks are all right. They amt very much
fr pretty, but they're tn divvle rr COM
Portable"
-, That's all right" said Mr.. Hennessy,
hut will they VIM
''Iv coorse they WILL" said Mr.. Dooley.
''Th' Stlrain fh' GrpekS 10 ip'
Three or foor hundred iv their best writ
ers has injured their eyes an they'se hard
ly man in tn threnches that isn't ex-
hausted firm sendin' two to foor columns a
day. They may last little while, but un-
less raysarves can be stint up with fresh
supplies iv Telegraph blanks their doom is
sealed
Theodore TiltOn's Old Age.
From the Chicago News.