davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1897-05-22

The Wife, think we ought to
have daughters voice cultivated,
John, IT it doesn't cost too much.
The Husband-lt can't cost too
much, my dear, If it will improve it
any, Puck.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1897-05-22

"Brother Jim has the bicycle face,
Zoe has the bicycle back, and sister
Sue has the bicycle leg
ANY other bicycle ailments IN
your family"
"Well. papa says he has the bicy-
Gle pocket.book, and its badly pune
tured. II Truth.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1897-05-22

Col. I1igson Gin reply to ques-
tions)-\-No. | don't get paid very
much, and the hours is terrible long.
Reuben Longlegs-Oh, yar need
Mt ter worry. Just axed out o
curiosity. | amt lookin' fer yer
lob. Puck.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
ADrummer'r FLORIDA yarn.

A drummer, just returned from the Flor
ida circuit says he threw out a sugges-
ton to a shooting range proprietor in
Tampa upon which the latter has been
literally coming money, says the New Or
leans Times-Democrat. The bulls eye in
the shooting range was an effigy of a
negro. When it was put up a few years
ago it was immensely popular for while,
but it gradually became an old story and
people got tired of shooting at it. The
drummers suggestion was to take down
the negro eff1gy and put an affigy Of Gen.
Weyler, leader of the Spanish forces in
Cuba. The shooting range proprietor,
with keen business sagacity, saw the wis
dom of the hint and had the town artist
make a splendid life-siZe bulls eye rep
resenting Gen. Weyler standing proudly
with bulls eye over his heart. No soon
er was it up than the place was stormed
by Cubans. They waited outside in lines,
waiting to get a shot at Weyler and the
shooting range had TO send off for more
ammunition. One Cuban offered five dol
lars for the privilege of sticking a knife
in it, and another offered ten to smite it
as hard as he could hit with a base bah
club The shooting range man is getting
rich and neighboring towns are taking the
hint
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
Sure Signs.


you have just been married. he said.
as he stopped on his way down the rail-
way car and addressed a young man who
occupied a seat with young lady.
How did you know THAR" asked the
Bazaar -
Never mind how" replied the other.
y know that you have just been mar
ried. So has this young lady You have
Just been married 10 each other You are
the bridegroom and she is the bride"
You are right, stranger" the young
man admitted, but I'll be dinged if
know how you found it OUT
II tell you that later, but just now I
VIII merely add that you were married
this morning, and that you are now on
your honeymoon trip Am l right?'
You are stranger, but won't you tell us
now you discovered these things so ac-
Yes, I will tell you 7 discovered them
through my cultivated powers of obser-
walton. / noticed you two smuggling up
TO each other, regardless of whether
school Kept or not. When you thought no
one was looking | saw you steal a kiss.
noted the rice in your hat when you
placed 1t in the rack, and / perceived
that some OF 1t had got entangled in your
bride $ shirt-waist. l observed, too, that
the lady is dressed in dainty white, that
she takes her lavender glove off her left
mana ever and anon and admires the two
rings on her third finge@-one a plain gold
clrClet and the other set with a sparkling
stone. l noted the bhssful expression in
both your faces, and the rapt way in
which you gaze into each others eyes
Besides that, 1 observed you board the
train, and L noticed that you were es-
corted TO the station by a merry throng
OF young men and maidens; and in addi-
ton to all this, [ saw your trunks put on
board the baggage-car. Their handles
were decorated with white satin bows
delicate attentions from thoughtful
friends, who wished to make your launch
upon the sea of matrimony as suspicious
l. n
speaker went on, while expressing my
congratulations and best wishes, that 1
am Herlock Shomes, the great detective"
Mr.. ShOmes went on into the smoking
car. and the bridegroom turned and said
TO the bride, in an awe-struck whisper:
Melinda, it's no use! They are on to
us"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
DR. Abbotfs Jonah sermon.

There appears to be trouble ahead for
DR.. Lyman Abbott, the pastor of the lead
ing Congregation church of Brooklyn
The church Of which Henry Ward Beecher
was pastor for so many years. Two
weeks ago last Sunday Dr. Abbott preach
ed a sermon in which he ridculed the
Biblical story Of Jonah and the whale.
From all accounts it was very funny
sermon, and made the congregation laugh
immoderately. Some of the newspapers
took ii W and declared that if DR.. Alb
bolt did not believe the story he was
not Christian. The Sun, for instance,
said that he was IAN infidel while pro-
Tossing to hold and to preach the Chris
tan faith"
The ministers Of other Congregational
churches criticised Dr. Abbotts sermon
very sharply. the weight of opinion be-
ing that it was unorthodox.
Strange as it may appear, the legisla-
ture Of New York enacted a law in 1895
relative to church government which does
not seem 10 have attracted the attention
% ministers, particularly those of Bap-
list and Congregational churches, to
which it particularly applies. This law
makes the American Congregational Union
the legal governing body of the Congre-
gational denomination in New York state,
and it provides that any Congregational
church, which fails to maintain public SER
vices Gin accordance with the customs and
usages Of said governing body shall be
deemed extinct, and its property shall re-
vert to the American Congregational In
ion,
The American Congregational Union is
composed of strict Congregationalisss
who have held meeting and discussed
DR.. Abbotts Jonah and the whale SER
mon, and whether such public services are
maintained in Dr. Abbott's church as are
in harmony with the customs and usages
of the governing body. There is much
anxiety to know what the decision of the
governing body will be.
1t would be very interesting state of af-
fairs If DR.. Abbott should lose his church.
He would be forced to the conclusion that
it is not wise to make Biblical miracle
the subject of ridicule. But even IL he
is permitted to continue to occupy the
pulpit of the Plymouth Congregational
church the incident will not be without
beneficial effects 1t will teach ministers
that as long as they teach the Christian
religion they must not ridicule ANYTHING
found in the Bible.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10

Throughout the section OF coun-
try in which sea island cotton Is
grown. there is a growing sentiment in
favor of protecting that class Of cotton by
putting a duty on Egyptian cotton. The
amount of Egyptian cotton imported is
very large. 1t comes into competition
with sea island cotton, being used in the
manufacture Of about the same class of
goods.
It is argued that II a duty of cents a
pound was placed on Egyptian cotton.
that cotton would be practically shut out
of our market, and the increased domes-
tic demand for sea island cotton would
cause the price of sea islands to advance
cents pound. Is this argument correct?
II it is, the sea island cotton planters
have an excellent reason for asking for
protection. II it isn't. they would be wise
to let the matter rest where 1t is. They
should be sure they are right, however.
before asking for a duty.
The price Of sea island cotton Is not
made in this country. 1t is made in Eu-
rope, where the surplus Of our sea island
feet the price of sea island cotton in Eu-
rope, and American manufacturers would
not pay higher price for it than Euro
pean manufacturers.
But 1t is claimed that by putting a duty
on Egyptian cotton that kind of cotton
would be kept out of this country prac-
tically, and the increased demand for the
sea island cotton would cause the price
of the latter cotton to rise If the domes-
tic market took the whole crop, il is prob
able that the price would rise, but would
the domestic market take the whole crop?
II some of it went abroad the price would
be fixed there. and as all of the Egyptian
cotton would be placed on the European
market, the price of Egyptians might de-
cline in .nat market and pull down the
price of sea island cotton.
What the planters want is that which
is best for their own interests, and in
trying to find out what is best
there are several things to be
considered. It is thought by some who
have given this question Of a duty on sea
island cotton considerable thought, that
sea island cotton will fare better without
a duty on Egyptian cotton Their state
ment is that the mills in this country
which are using Egyptian cotton are grad
ually changing their machinery so as to
use sea island cotton, and that in the
course of a few years very little, if any,
Egyptian cotton will be sold in our mar
ket
1t is evident that there are two sides to
this question of a duty on Egyptian cot
ton, and before they take a decided stand
on one side or the other the sea island
cotton growers should seek to find which
is the right side.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
An Unconscious Theft.

did you ever pick a mans pocket I'M
intentnoially?" asked a young man about
town of party of acquaintance with
whom he was chatting in a thater lobby,
says the Philadelphia Record. "Well, l
did. 1t happened a few days ago, and if
my victim hadn't been particular friend
of mine it would have been decidedly en-
bsrassing to say the least. You will prob
ably say that the accident could never
have happened in the way ii did, but
can bring witnesses to prove what / say.
l was standing In a saloon on South Penn
square taking to an acquaintance when I
felt a tug at the back of the long frock
coat wore. / paid no particular atten-
ton TO it, for the place was crowded and
many people before had pushed by me. In
a moment, however. somebody touched me
on the shoulder and said; Give me my
watch, Jack looked around and found
the speaker to be a great friend of mine
] haven got your watch, JIM / said. 20!
come Of said he, you pulled IL out of my
pocket as / passed you He was very
serious about il. and so I became serious
TOO. l protested that I couldn't possi-
bly, have taken the watch, and my first
friend bore me out. Finally, Jim said he
thought his chain might have caught upon
one of the buttors At the back Of my coat
put my hand back and felt something in
the tail pocket, whose opening was just
under the two useless buttons which tall
ors tack on there. l reached in and there
was Jim's watch sure enough. The time
piece had been yanked out of Jim's pock-
ct into mine. Fact shelp me-"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
Proof of Sincerity.

In the days Of the ''old army on the
frontier, says the Cincinnati Enquirer,
when military posts were sometimes hun
dreds of miles from any civilized place,
there was little to do in the way of amuse-
ment in the winter time when the post
was Snowbound. and it was then that the
reputation the army has for card playing
and drinking was gained. And it is true
that great deal of both was done at that
time.
II was in these days that an event trans
PRED that showed that the original actor
had the courage of his convictions and
that he was most certainly born under a
lucky star. 1t was after a very wet
stag dinner party, and all had partaken
most freely of the wine, and, strange as
it may seem, the subject that came up for
discussion was the Mohammedan religion.
The Mussulmans believe in fate. To them
a mans fate is written above, and the
time of his death is set, and nothing can
advance il. Well this belief had been dis
cussed long and earnestly. The pros and
cons had been gone over at length, till
one officer wanted to know of what use
was reason if every one was born with
tag of destiny attached. one officer finally
arose and said there was no use of dis
cuSSing the matter any further; the only
way was to make a practical test of the
question, and that he would give himself
as a subject. Could a man wilfully dis
pose of his life when the fatal moment
had been chosen at his birth from above?
He could get no one to try the expert
ment on him. Finally wager was made.
Who will pay you if l lose" said the
subject, as he drew his pistol and showed
that it was loaded. He placed the pistol
against his temple and pulled the trigger.
The pistol missed fire.
"A Joke" yelled the crowd.
The fatalist smiled, and recocking the
pistol, aimed it with a steady hand at the
clock on the wall. He fired, and the bullet
crashed through the center of the dial.
apologize to me now'' he said. Il
have won the bet. l always believed in
ia @
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10

Congressman Grosvenor of Ohio is quoted
as saying that after March next the ad-
ministration will be closer to the people"
than has been the case for four years By
the people" Gen. Grosvenor means the
people in congress. I'VE are the people"
is the congressional motto. Three years
ago, according to the congressman, he
learned that representatives in congress
could not see the President without first
stating their business to his private secre-
tary." That information sent the con-
gresham away from the white house in
a huff, which he has harbored all these
years. When Mckinley gets in, he says,
it will be an easy matter for congressman
to see the President.
There is just possibility that this prom
Use will not be fulfilled. 1t is more likely
that the new President will adopt pretty
much the same rules as those governing
the executive mansion during his predeces-
sor's incumbency. These rules, printed
in the Congressional Directory are to the
effect that the President will see senators
and representatives between 10 and u
days. Tuesdays and Fridays. The first
day is set aside for the transaction of pub
lie business requiring uninterrupted at
tention, and the others are cabinet days.
~ther hours are set aside in
which to receive other callers.
The Presidents whole time is
apportioned. lie adheres to the rules,
and requires that others shall do so, for
the good of the public service. That is
what makes some congressman angry.
They wish the President to admit them,
and give them all the time they desire,
whenever 1t suits them.
Suppose that system, or rather lack of
system. obtained at the white house?
There are more than $50 members of con-
gress, and a large number of other off,
cials who have as much reason as the con-
gressmen TO demand the privilege of walk
Presidents presence whenever it might
suit them. If the privilege We're accord
ed, the congressman would probably keep
the executive offices constantly filled with
themselves or visiting politicians, or con-
sttuents merely around seeing the sights.
II would be impossible for the executive
TO give close and careful attention to the
public business. Under the present rules
visitors whose errands are of minor i'm
portance are attended to by the private see
rotary, while those whose business is OF
moment are accorded the desired inter-
view with the President. The rules arc
good, and according TO a Canton dispatch
in the Chicago Tribune. may be adpoted
with notifications by the new President.
At all events, it is not likely that the doors
Of the white house will be thrown wide
open.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
PaternaI soIicitudc.

81 notice" remarked Mr.. Corntossel.
as he entered the sanctum OF the rural
weekly journal. says the Washington
Star, that ye make a practice O. wrtin'
up folks thet's jes' got back to town"
Yes replied the proprietor
WAL, | wanter ask We ez a special
personal favor not ter interview my boy
Josiar. He's comm home fur few
days. an, l don't want We ter put nothin'
tall in the paper bout it,"
of course, We won't say anything about
It, If you don't want us co."
IN much obliged ter We. know It's
askin' good deal, but We know a father'll
go a long ways ter look after the inter-
ests OF an only son."
But 4 won't DO him any harm to be
put in the paper"
1t might. Did ye ever hear that boy
talk he knows more about blmetai-
Ism an finance an taxation an arbltra-
lion than ,ye'd imagine anybody could
learn in a lifetime"
That's good thing for him."
'Mebbe. But ! don't want i'm pushed
too fast. I've heard that Mai. NIcKin-
lev hez been havin some trouble eittin.
suitable men fur S cabinet I'd like ter
help the major out, but / don't want him
ter hear bout Josiar cause I'm honesty
AFRAID the boys health wouldn't stand
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
The MORNING NEWS is published

The MORNING NEWS IS published
every day III the year, and is served to
subscribers in the city, or sent by mall
at 81 90 a month, 500 Tor SIX moulhs' anu
5000 for one year.
3 The MORNING NEWS by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue)'
three months. 500; six months $500; one
year. $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, 2 issues week.
Monday and Thursday, by mall one
year. S1.0O.
Subscriptions payable In advance. Re-
NIT by postal order. check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
eenders.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column. local or reading notices,
amusement and cheap or want column, 10
cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate type
equal to one inch square in depths
the standard of measurement. Contract
rates and discounts made known on ap-
plication at business office.
orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place of bust
through telephone No. 30 Any IRE gular
ity in delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the Office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row. New
York City. c. s. Faulkner, Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10

BRIGHT BITS.

--Algy-Suppose you buy stocks, Cholly,
and / sell them at the same time.
Cholly-Aw-yes
Algy-One of us would make money,
doncherknow, and we could divide the
profits.-Puck
When He Was Honest.-Babbllng
Brooks: See here. Qobbs; aldough dere
may be a feud in yer family agin soap. /
wisht yer'd drop de subjec. l onc't lived
a week on a bar NV soap wen 1 wuz hon
est.
Dusty Dobbs Gncredulous): Dye mean
ter say yer eat it?
Babbling Brooks: Nit! cut it up in lit
tie squares an sold it ter farmers wives
as de "Sure-cure corn salve. Judge.
REV. Sank +Timonious-Ah, Miss Ep-
worth, YOU are working for the good
cause this winter
Miss Epworth League-Yes, want to
do a lot OF work this winter so that /
can enjoy my holiday next summer
Rev. Sank Timonious-Ah. but, my dear
young lady, Satan never takes a holiday,
not even in summer. you know.
Miss Epworth League-I know; but
then, Satan is used to the heat-Baltimore
News.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings.-Golden Rule Lodge, No r.
j. o. o. f.
Special Notices-Ship Notice, ]. F. Minis
& Co: To Water Takers. II. M. Lotion,
Superintendent; Don't Lose Your Dis
count, Is. II. Levy & Bro; General House
Furnishers and Dealers in Hardware. r.
d. & VIM baltimore.
A Tremendous Drop.-Mutual Gas Light
Company
Three Elegant Corners For sale.-C. H.
Dorset
IS Fer Cent. Discount.-B. H. Levy &
Bro.
Amusements-sisson Company at Thea
ter Feb. 10.
Medical-Rh Munyon's Home
Remedies.
Legal Notices-Citations From the Court
of Ordinary.
Steamship Schedules-Ocean Steamship
Company.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Hel
Wanted: Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
PERSONAL.

--Almer, the Swiss mountain guide, has
just celebrated his 10Th birthday at Grin
delwald He has made more than 200 as
cents, including the Wetterhorn, the
Schreckhorn, the Elger and the Moench.
He is the only man who ever came down
alive after ascending the last named
peak. He retired ten years ago after
losing all his toes during a midwnter
ascent of the Jungfrau
Count Joseph Itchy of Vienna and
Budapest, member of a prominent Hun
garian noble family. died recently at the
age of SO years. He and his wife, who
was a daughter of the famous Austrian
chancellor, prince Metternich, accompa-
MED the unfortunate Emperor MaXmil-
ian to Mexico, where they were the chief
officials of the court. They left Mexico
home
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10

Has there been an inspection Of prem
ises by the water works authorities since
the freeze. to see whether or not water is
being allowed TO run to waste? 1t is a
probability that little Investigation
would show broken pipes through which
hundreds If not thousands of gallons Of
water in the aggregate are running every
day. If property owners neglect or decline
to repair breaks after reasonable time.
then the water ought to be shut off at the
sidewalk. There is no sense in spending
money TO pump water TO be poured out
upon the ground. And IS It not a fact that
on many premises wator is permitted to
fiow freely through faucets aud in closets
all the timer
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
Chnnges bod Thirty Yenrs.
From the New York Times Dem)

In 1867 the money in the country was
S2O.11 per capita: in 1896 1t was S32.S6. The
money In circulation was then slS.2S per
capita, and about one-half Of it was worth
less than Y cents to the dollar: now IL Is
S2l.l0 per capita, and every dollar is worth
100 cents. and will be kept at that Our ma
donal debt was then S69.26 per capita, and
Is now Sl34l less than one-iifth; the inter-
est on that debt was then 1854 year: II
Is now 40 cents. barely one-eighth The az
erdge American then contributed SgS7 to
the revenue of the government, and now
as called on for only SA9i.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
Liberal Foreign BimetnIIists.
From the Philadelphia Ledger Qnd.).

Foreign bimetallists are very willing that
the initiative in exploiting their theory
should be taken by the United States. and
have so Informed Senator Wolcott. There
may be two reasons for their compIais-
ance. One is that they have small hopes
of seeing the initiative taken at home, and
the other that. Notwithstanding their con-
fdence in their own theories, they recog-
niZe the fact that there may be less dan
ger In letting some other country try them
in Dractice first
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
wattcrson Predicts "A Collapse.


No party on earth can stand on the Chi
cago platform. No party on earth can live
and thrive under such leadership as that
platform called into being. The only flu
ture for a. democracy unterrifed and I'M
detled is the obliteration, the humiliation
of the evil features of that platform and
the extinction of the political aspirations of
every individual politician who may hence
forward seek to keep those evil features
alive.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10
The Party Name.
From the Chattanooga Times CDem.)

FROM the Chattanooga Times (Dem).
Mr.. Bryan says "the name of the party
belongs to the majority of the party" So
It does, as long as the majority adheres
60 the principles and traditions of the par
~ When a democrat becomes for party
purposes, "A populist. he Is no longer a
democrat. The man who Is a Suitable"
candidate for two separate parties, under
separate names and upon different and di-
verging principles, would not be apt to be
III for the candidate OF either party, II
either looked beyond the sordid considera-
ton OF mere availability"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-10

A great western meat packer has just
heaped Goals of fire upon the heads Of
number OF residents Of Kansas. Some
time ago the people Of Argentine, Kan.
boycotted this particular packer and
would not permit a single pound of his
products to be sold in the town. For
some weeks there had been extreme des-
utution in the town. Fully 100 families,
81 is said, were suffering for food. A few
days ago the packer sent a car load Of his
best meat to Argentine ana distributed
II gratis 10 the destitute OF the commun-
itH