Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-09

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Willie-Pa, what's the Great ~.
videT Pa-1t's what comes after an
election.-Chicago News.
She latter the quarrel)-And must we
part forever, Harry? He-Well at least
until tomorrow night, Maude.
Briggs--What kind Of a fellow is VIII.
lowsnap? Grfggs-I don't know. I've
only seen him when he was with his
wife.-Puck.
The Counts fancee--I received my
engagement ring to-day. Isn't It beau
tiful? Her driend-very beautiful!
Have you shown it to the Count YETI
Puck.
Jackson has an advertisement in
this paper which reads: Come back,
and I'll be good" Has his wife left
him?" "No; it's the cook."-Chicago
Record.
Il q tell you." said he, "how much
water runs over Niagara Falls to q
quart" How muchY' replied she.
1.-Two pints."-P!ttsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
Tell me, dear, am I the first man
you eyer kissedy' You are the first
n who was mean and suspicious
enough to ask me that question."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
why is it that Chumpley always
buys another new gun at the opening
Of the game season" Because the one
he had the year before never killed
anything."-Detroit Free Press.
us that young n going to stay
awake all nighty asked Mr.. Lush.
forth, Indignantly. There is no right
for you to complain" retor,ed his wife.
He inherits the habit from YOU"
She-What arc those missing links
we hear so much about? He-Oh. they
were some golf links that were located
in a certain Western town before the
cyclone struck i~t.-Yonkers Statesman
Junior counsel latter stating case)-
l think oar client has a good cause OF
action. Senior counsel (doubtfully)-I
can't see It; what is it? Junior counsel
He's worth fifty thousand dollars
Puck.
Caller-1n yesterdays paper you said
Miss FOotlight was one Of the most
beautiful women on the stage. Why
didn't you print her picture? Editor
We never take back what we say
Puck.
A man who suffered badly went to
consult a specialist about his afiiction.
The expert asked: DO you stutter all
the timer "N-n-n-no," replied the SUI.
ferer, Il s-s7stut-t-ter only when l
t-t-talk."
Har.fet-And 50 Fred Dullwich has
asked you to marry him, has he? Mar.
garet (sighing and blushing)-Yes,
night before last! Harriet-What a
stickler he is for formalities .--Cleve.
land Leader.
Gabber-Oh, don't talk to me about
bicycles. I'm sick at the very thought
Of 'em. You couldn't hire me to put my
head into a shop where they sell the
things. Tibber--That would be a case
Of wheels within wheels, wouldn't It?
Traveller Ito the ferryman crossing
the rver)-Has any one aver been lost
in this stream? Boatman-NO. sir; some
professor was drowned here last
spring, but they found him after look
ing for two weeks.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Observation-Disclosures are you in
such deep thought about, John? Mr..
Cnmsonbeak-I was only thinking,
dear, that all the men who have gone
In search Of the north pole seem to
have been married men.-Yonkers
Statesman.
What, no telephoney' asked one Of
the regular callers at the drug store;
why did you have 1t taken out p Most
Of the people in the neighborhood got
to using It to order drugs from other
stores. I guess l can grasp d business
idea once in q while."-Detroit Free
Press.
"If l had known" sobbed young Mrs.
Titx, that you would be such 4 brute
to poor Fido. l would never have mar
ried you." MY dear" replied Mr.. FITS,
''the anticipation Of kicking that mis-;
cradle little beast was one Of my chief
reasons for proposing to you."-Tid
Bits.
Mrs. Jones-Why, John, you've shot
q hen. Jones dndignantlyy-Hen? That
madam, Ia . Shanghai Bur Cochin Leg.
horn partridge, that l shot neal a farm:
house; and. ~ It happened to be 4 tame
one, ana quito . family pet, I had t.
pay for Il. Where did you ever ret
your knowledge Of hens, mada p
Puck.
Tum-T'd Nke Q drink, but 1 don't
suppose you'd want to change this %
bill. bartender (brtskly)-No trouble
about change. Here's your medicine
T1mp-Thanks, All! That's good
whisky. Bartender-Eh! LOOkee hereN
This bill Ia no good! Tramp-Yes:
ssid you wouldn't want to change it,
New York Weekly.
Junior don't know what to thint
OF Miss Knice. Either she IL awfully
ux.~A = NS,poA nv uho l.. h~lppocl 0A.