The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-10-02


she-"What do you think Of tho way
speak GERMANY" Hc-"Oh, it beats
the Dutch. "-Yonkers Statesman.
HAS DR.. hansen any social stand
lngP" Dear me, yes. He moves In
the highest circles."-New York Sun.
He-You girls seem to be awfully
fond Of sweets. She-And you men
seem to be awfully fond Of sours.-Cor-
nell Widow.
Stern father--I hear you were out
gambling last night. Is 1t true? Gay
Youth-No, sir; was ahead.-New
York Journal.
Beggar-Please, sir, I'm so exhausted
can't get my breath and Gentle
man-Hcre's Eve cents; go and buy
one.-Hsrlem Life.
Mr.. New Hub--What does 1t mean
when bride promises to obey? Mrs.
New Hub-Simply that she prefers not
to make a scene.-Puck.
The doctor-It's twins, sir. Young
husband-I might have known 1t; it's
my wffe's theory that two can live as
cheaply as one.-Tld-Bits.
freddie is Jealous of his preroga-
tives, isn't hep "What makes you
say so?" "He got angry the other night
and told me not to be q fool."--New
York Sun,
"no you think Skinner can make a
living out there% make living!
why, he'd make a living on n rock In
the middle Of the ocean-if there was
another man on the rock."-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. spat-Your husband Ii an In
yentor, / believe? Mrs. Spotter-Yes.
Some of his excuses for coming home
late Mt night are in use all over the
country.-Philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
"yyon't you take this seatT said the
gentleman in the car, rising and lifting
his hat. "No, thank you," said the girl
with the skates on her arm; i've been
skating, and I'm tired sitting down.
Yonkers Statesman.
"IfI didn't love my husband, I'd stab
him to deathr' exclaimed the warm.
blo6ded lady from New Orleans. Il
wouldn't" said the Chicago woman;
.pd get a divorce and stick him fol-
alimony."-Town Topics.
"And how did he die?" asked the lady
who had come West to inquire aftei
the husband she had lost. "Er-by re-
quest, ma'am," said the gentle cow
boy, as mildly and regretfully as posi-
ble.-Indianapolis Journal.
"Who Is that young woman near the
other end Of the table talking about
correct taste in artT (Which young
woman? There are several" 1.-THE one
with the wooden toothpick in bel
mouth" -Chicago Tribune:
do you see anything coming oul
way7" asked the morning star Of 6
companion. mot yet" was the reply
i"but see a servant below there who
Is about to light her kitchen fire witt
kerosene. "-Yonkers Statesman.
TITS perfectly absurd, this clamol
| HDCut our uute. OOPiC w ~ SoA SS~
over them would better not go to thu
theater." 81 know; that's what tolt
my husband, and be said. AL right, WI
won't GO; and we Bazaar.
Slmonsby-I have a chance to MARI!
two girls; one is pretty, but nero but
teriy, as it were, and the other, though
plain, is an excellent housekeeper
Mr.. Rus of Chicago-Take the pref
ty one frst-1ndianapolis Journal.
"How long have you been on thi,
reuter- asked the drummer of thu
conductor on a primitive Southern
railroad. "Ten yeahs, suh." Indeed
You must have gotten on several mile.
south of where I did."-Detroit Free
Press.
He-"Now that our engagement Il
ended, l suppose we should return
each others Ietters?" She-T suppos,
SO. And, George, while we are abou
TT, why not return each others kisses? ?
Engagement renewed on the spot
/ Boston Transcript.
| A young student lately presented
| himself for examination and ignomin
I iously failed. TO his family, anxiou.
to hear of his success, he telegraphet
thus: Examination splendid; profes
sors enthusiastic. They wish for sec
| ond in October."-Tit-Bits.