The times., 1897-09-19
SQUAN CREEK FOLKS.

up tif lidis III cqJdH Citthf anu Z ilidtS
out that every single growed-up man ex-
cept Fuilp Tompkins would sooner lie
than tell tie truth. Pump had never told
q lie, as We could remember OF, and wewas
sort of agin him on that account. We
jest fi"gercd that Squan Greek was no
place fur a man who felt that he must
stick to the truth, and keep the price u
real estate down. Cy and me had long
talk about Pump Tompkins that arter
noon, and we purity nigh settled 1t that he
had got to JOIN the Liars Club Of leave
the town Mebbe the man had presenti
ment about IL. and mcabe he'd got dis
souraigea about tellin the truth; at any
rate. fle cum in off the bay next day and
sez to the crowd:
Boys, got sich skeer out on the bay
this afternoon that my narves ar al on
rhe wiggle. How big an oyster did any of
ye ever See?"
AS his as e bar of yaller soap sez
Hi Suri,h.
AS big as mans head sez Jonas
White.
As big as a milk pun.e sez Moses
Brown.
They was all liars. and knowed they
Tompkins git the better Of 'em on the
so-ofr. He looked at 'em in a soletun
way fur long time, and then he sez:
wall got holt OF an oyster tal- arter-
noon out on my bed what was as big Is
the top of a kitchen table and three
feet thick. He was so rowerfui heavy that
/ conIdn't riZ him out o. water, and he
tired ne out till i had 10 let him drop
back. IL sGmof you VIII help me tomouer
wen 90 out artnr him. That oyster would
be wu;h So as a show up iii Fulton
market"
''Mebbs he's the oyster l got holt of
last week, sez Abraham Da vis, as he tries
to Iook mnercent. Il didn't say nuthin'
about il at the time, but ! calceTIated that
oyster was as big as a barn door"
Tnen sun o. the rest OF the gang lied
sum more, but bein' as Pump Tomp1us
has alIus told the truth we rather believed
his story Next day seven men went ouI
with him, but they couldn't find that big
osyteI. Whenever Pump went oHt alone
he always seen him, hut when anybody
was along il was no use Bimeby we
knoweG he was lyin' about the hull thug.
Il he CHned up and 1ined the liars club
it would hev beeu all right, but Pump
was that kind Of man that when he
lied he stuck to it ike a bull pup to au
ole bootleg. The preacher at Faypurt who
baptized ms eldest son cum. over TO Squan
Greek 10 say 10 Pump Tompkins:
Il amt s;iyin that thar amt sum
Moustrous rig oysters in the hay, but
as fur an oyster as big as a kitchen
able, Ee can't be found around yere.
Make il as lag Is tie bottom OF a water
pan, and thar Won't be NO more hal
feelin n's'
Il can't 10 it," sez Pump; I had him
right thar ON top the water, aud I won't
take off an inch''
Lets say h. was a ; Dig as the bottom
Of a wast tut.'' ser the preacher.
No. sab / said d kitchen table, aud
I'm stickin right TO it,
Pumps VIE she'd tears and wrassled
with iim, hJt it was NO use. His chill
| drcn wept and coaxed, but lie got mad
and lieked 'em with d fishpole. The
pers got to talkin' about that big
oyster, aud lots o strangers cum down
10 sg;aa Greek 10 hear about it. The
Conscience was that all the other liars
in tGwE got together and decided that
they must tell some whoppers TO match
the story Of Pump Pumpkins.
II; Smith, he told a monstrous big lie
about seen sea sappint. and lie showed
a scratch on hisLeeI wbar' he'd bin bitten
Philetus Henderson, he told an awful
lie about a shark forty feet long which
jumped clean over lis boat, aud carried
away llis straw hat in its teeth. BE
showed half the hat to prove that it had
bin mt IN two.
y,..rt,--,IaF - T,...-
seen elan. pnrty nigh as big as the floor
OF d skatin' rink, and To hev noticed that
the Lords PrayeI the Ten Commandments y,
and The Sweet Bimeby'' was engraved on
its back.
| Truthful Lo5son, who was the biggest
liar Ia all Squan Creek he told d whopper
| about secih' whale swaller a pilot boat,
| and when he described now the crew
shouted III terror, he was so overcome by
his feelin's thar he actually shed tears
and wiped en- away with a fish net.
! Thar was lots of other liars and they
! told lots of oti or lies and fur two mouths
all the papers in the lard was taIkin' bouu
Squap Creek and its doin's. We'd bin
| willin to step lynn any time Pump TOmp-
! kins would, but we wasn't goin 10 SIT
still and see his pictur' III the papers and
near strangers offer him 500 ia gold If Ee
Gould ketch that big oyster. He swelIet
| around and carried his nose in the air, and
he got TO be sich a noted man that he could
| git trusted at the grocery for four pounds 81
sugar ct once. He stuck 70 that lie till he
sort o believed in it himself. Doorin' the
| excitement hiSfather died, and on his death
bed lac took bis lyin son by the hand aud
sez:
Pump was that an oyster or a piece of
old wreek2"
1t was an ole socker Of an oyster sez
Pump.
And as big as kitchen table,
Even bigger, dad, and he was at least a
! hundred years old Why the barnal les OIL
his shells would hev fattened four hogs
Pump shall l stick 10 it up in HEAVIER
that ye hev told the TRUTH" seq the ole
man. "a he gifts ready 10 draw his last
breath
"Ye may. = weepin!y replies Pmnp, "au'
ye ma add that the initials.G " was ca;
in tie shell by George Washington's owI
hand. 10 forgotten to say anythin' a bon
this aforc.n
Wall. when every man in town git:
10 be a liar sunthin' has got to bus
bimeby. Pump began it aud wouldn't gil
In, ami the rest of MS was proud and ot,
stinate, and so it " ent till the c'laInitl
cum Along in the fall, on a full moon. tn,
wind howed heavy from the east fu
three days, ans! then cum a high tide, whicl
rolled the water in till it took a way four
teen houses, all of the docks, mast If tn,
boats, and drowned eight persons. anS
I.u,r,, rrot.t,,IyinS W. nm ,,f rho ni,rht l,h