New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-06-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

when was out West" says a business man
quoted in Hardware" "a young man registered
at the hotel and proceeded to make things lively
The first night he played poker with the landlord
and cleaned him out. the next night he came nome
drunk and whipped the cabman, the third night ne
went up and down the halls singing at the top OF
his voice and daring the chambermaids to come
out and embrace him. In the morning they asked
for the key of his room and gave him his BILL he
looked It over and then said with surprised pathos
Don't you make any discount to ministers!
How do I know that you really love me? she
asked What assurance have | that you ':oula De
willing to make sacrifices and endure har's''pS
lie looked at her In reproachfu establishment and
What more can you ask Haven't sn I for six six
months refraned from laying Nc TeIegraph
THE Chicago Tribune" celebrated the hftieth an
niversary Of It's birth on Thursday
Anxious Mother-I don't understand how IT Is.
BERTHE. that you are always at the ioo' u 'oo'
class. , 4. ,,,so,,. but know
It's dreadful easy.-(Boston Transcript
J. Y. Mort. the vce-president OF the Noippoh
Railway Company. OF Japan. now In THIS country
saws: "Our roads narrow gauge, ana are oper-
ated In the European style, but we are open 70
receive improvements. and / have no DOUBT WI"
gain valuable pointers on the present journey
Iapan has 1900 miles Of railway In operation. and
the country Is quite prosperous at the present
time We are building war. vessels as fast as
our finances will allow but Japan Is small coun-
try and cannot hope to keep pace with sucn coun-
tries as the United States. China and Russia are
connecting vigorously for our trade. and we must
keen wide awake If we continue In the advancement
which has been made within TIE last few years
ON A VACATION.
Now doth the city idiot his pleasant home desert.
lie wanders of to some old lake, and dons manner
There in apartments two by four he tries to tale
While ighting animalcula. mosquitoes. bugs ana
He hasn't room to take his breath but yet he tries
In a sickly sentimental way, for that's the proper
How is the climate?" some one asks WELL" he
.,tSoysh the days are pretty warm the nights are
always cool.
He wanders up and down the beach. reciting poems
And looks down the other chumps as II they
He talks Of boats and rigging and the larbcard and
AS If he would impress folk that he'd sometime
He hitches up his trousers like sailor on the
And BATTLES to small schoolgirls OF a very tender
II some one says. How hot 1t is! he shouts you
goldarned fool!
Although the days are pretty warm the nights are
-(St. Paul Dispatch.
"If It Is true says THE Austin statesman
that Mr. Debs comes to Texas as Governor Waite
does a political penitent and strictly to till the
soil, there can be no objection to II, but We have
few too many of the Waite-Debs style OF politicians
in Texas already to welcome any more. even II they
are graciously invited participate In our vast re-
sources by General Vandervoort"
"Demosthenes acquired eloquence and success by
talking with pebbles In his mouth. les, oat men
who succeed nowadays have 10 have rocks IN their
pockets. "-(Cllcago RECORD
A story Is told OF a Governor General Of India
who one day missed his wife from the room and
said. where is Maria" Dear me. john" said his
sister you don't happy II Maria is out Of
the room for hour" I'm not" he answered:
that's why married her.
"Hain't you even ben to any OF our meetins up
here?" exclaimed matron Of the Catskllls. why.
a hev preacher THIS is dsr
Of nenaed o 4er to hs an good lady
circuit rider and a local preacher.-(Church Econ
omist
THE Chicago Times Herald" tells Of the mcanest
man on record. He is a hypnotst and lives on the
North Side. Twice q week he hypnotizes his wife,
and she runs lawn mower over the front yard
while believing that she is enjoying a bicycle spin
DIsappcintment-"Ho did you come out with
Not we'll | expected. The City accepted
It without a murmur. and / got scarcely a col
umn OF advertisement out Of it.-CWashingtop Sar.
Inasmuch as photographic stone Is growing scarce
and costly many attempts have been made to
find good and cheap substitute among the metals
Zinc does not appear to meet the requirements OF
the situation but great claims have recently been
made In behalf OF aluminium applied to such
service
Husband-But why did you buy two hallsta nds?
been marked down from SIS to ,$4 As. Don't you
see saved twice as much by purchasing two as
u had only bought one? You didn't know your
little WHEY had such head for business. did
you?-tBoston TRANSCRIPT