The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-02-27

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HIS PREFERENCE.
Mother inlaw-Don't you know that
cropping your hair so tight as that Will
make it fall ont
Son. in-law-Oh yes; but that's the
way prefer to lose it.
WHILE YOU WAIT.
Customer-You have sign in your
window ~ suit of clothes made while
you wait" Do you really do that?
Tailor-Yes, sir. You leave your
order with deposit, and then wait till |
the garments are finished.
OFTEN ENOUGH.
Little Johnny-What is your papas
business?
Lite Clarelce-My papa is poet.
Little Johuny-Huh, That ANITA busi-
ness-its disease.
NOR To KILL
al met Willie Bushtop going along the
street yesterday
dressed to KILL as usual"
ooh, no; merely dressed to maim lie
had on his football armor."
OH,
Employer chastity resuming his dictat-
ing az somebody comes into the ot1lce)
What was my last wor |?
Typewiter-girl somewhat rattled)-
Your last word was darling"
AN IMPORTANT INDUSTRY.
Traveller Gin parlor car. passing health
resort-'.That is remarkably picturesque
village we are passing. What is its prin-
cipal Industry"
Porter "Embalming."
AN ALTERED CASE.
Magistrate-Do you mean to say such
a physical wreck as he Is gave you that
black eye?
Complaining Wife-Shure, your Honor,
| he wasn't a physical wreck till after he
give me tn black e.e.
MOST CONVENIENT.
Mr.. Ire!and-This book Gil swimming
is very useful in sudden emergencies.
Mrs. lreland-ls it?
| Mr.. ireland i should say SO. II you
are drowning turn to page lob AMI youh
see how 10 save yourself.
MARITAL AMENITIES.
81 have very bad taste in my mouth
complained Mr.. Snlggs.
s'Iour bad taste is not confined to your
mouth" replied Mrs. Snagys.
THAT'S true. it isn't. [ also dlsplaye1
it in my selection of a wife.
SAME OLD PERSECUTION.
! "Mabel, wouldn't it be jolly if we could
ride through life like this together ?"
Nov. George, if you're going to be
spo my for goodness sake turn down the
lamp"
THE PERSON INDICATED.
II want to see the boss" he said to
the chief bookkeeper, as he entered the
counting room.
You'll find the typewriter in that little
room to the left" replied the man Of
figures.
STILL LACKING.
Railroad Pre- sident-I am delighted to
hear that you took trip on our Grca'
Western limited palace -hotcl-barbei
shop.library- bathroom Pullman express.
. Nothing lacking was there?
Old Friend (who had an upper berth
, -Yes-elevators.
DIFFERENT KIND.
"That," said the Buffalo man, sis on
, financial school,"
just then a couple of aldermen cams
out. each of whom would weigh 25i
pounds.
ppm glad you told me-" said the Roch
ester visitor. II should have taken
for a school of whales
Chatty old bachelor Most r'mark b
likeness between those two children
! nurse.
|. Nurse -Yessir; twins, sir.
! Old gentleman--W What, both OF EN-?
ANCIENT WIT.
Jinks-Can you give an instance {
female wit mentioned in the Bible?
Blinks -Yes IIerodias, when she Sc
t head of John the Baptist.
!, NO DANGER NOW.
: MIR. Spoonamore Gin the parlor)
: what is that noise overhead, Miss Agnes
Miss Agnes listening a moment)-lt
papa, Mr.. Spoonamore, but you needn
. be scared. Hes snoring.
r NOT REAL ONE.
"Great Scott" shoute | the dime mt
e scum manager, as he starte upright fro'
e sleep. II just dreamed of three-heade
. girl with seventeen toes on each foot"
= flush, my DEAR" said his wife, scott
= ingly, ..you will wake the neighbor
- That was only freak OF fancy