The silver lance., 1897-12-17
Atchlson Globe Sights.

What will We do with all our wheat
next year.
Siucs Prosperity arrived. the word
Boom" has crept back into respectable
society.
Every girl who can recite "Curfcw
Shall Not Ring Tonight" to her parents'
satisfaction, has her stage name picked
out.
When an audience u very small, it 10
always said that it represents the cream
the refinement, and tho culture Of the
town"
The eastern papers are writing it
"whitehouse'" This is giving the presi-
Dental residence no more dignity than q
henhouse.
What an appropriate ending for q
william it would be tocatch Santa Claus
the night Of the oath, and hang him to a
Christmas tree.
What is the exact age when it becomes
no longer proper for q girl 10 straddle a
bob-sled, and put her arms around tho
boy in front of her.
In tropical regions, when the moon is
at its full, objects are distinctly visible
several miles away. BY starlight only
print can be read with ease.
When preachers friends say Of him
"Well. we admit that he is too," ETC., he
might as well look for another job; his
enemies will finally get him.
II you are industrious and make your
business a snccsss. it will grow better
every day; il you are idle and shiftless
your business will grow poorer every day.
There is nothing in name. The Chi
cago murderer who killed his wife and
hid her body under . straw. stack, is
named Merry, and he lived on Hope
street.
Two boys are going around town
begging for "a nickle to buy cheese for
mother, because she is chilling Cheese
isn't good for chills. The boys should
learn new wall.
Considering that she didn't make a
greater fool OF herself than to marry, the
pietures Of Jessie Lincoln Beckwith are
becoming very tiresome, and should be
turned to the wall.
From an old maids standpoint, the
condolences her newly married friends
pour out about how good their husbands
are, are not as interesting as those ol
her longer married friends, who cry over
the meanness OF the men.
| When will girls learn to appreciate a
good thing when they have it? Another
Atchison girl, who has been looking for
good job for five years, and finally
found it last September, will give it up
after Christmas to get married.
It Is a late fate to have ~ many a.
two or three clergyinen ofiiciate at q
widow is left to weep. When . man
has wife to bury, fads don't enter into
his plans for disposing Of her remains.
1t is said OF the women that those who
become whist crapks, become also very
i'll hammered. It Is whisp cred about
that the good whist players can always
be picked out at card party, because Of
their i'll nature when those they are
| playing with make poor play.
The season in here when q man works
for all it is worth the excuse that he has
taxes to pay. He really wouldn't be
happy If he didn't have taxes to psy, and
consequently had no excuse when his
wife wants money, or NO reason for
bowling when he finds that she il spend
ing some.
A woman called at this office lately.
and complained OF statement that she
had been married. Inquiry developed
that the woman herself had told the
story, and the statement was made in
good faith. Newspapers do not purpose
ly misrepresent; the truth is not always
obtainable. Every editor tries his best
to print only facts.
Instead Of going to Klondike, young
man should invest his money in dress
suits and go to New York. Tho social
season there this winter opens with Miss
Sylvia Green, daughter Of Mrs. Hetty
Green, the richest woman in the world,
on tho market. With Hetty Green on
guard, this would be as difficult and cx-
citing . game ss jumping claims In
Alaska.
| There is good deal Of sack cloth and
ashes about a family reunion on Thanks
giving, to the unmarried members Of the
family. The married daughters take
their children and husbands. and 90
home for nice dinner; NO worry, no ex