The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-12-05
SOME SOUND ADVICE TO sAxPENoE
ConoerninE His Department on Scotch Links
and His Conduct Here.

II.
MY DEAR Mr.. sAxPENcE: As I write your
name I wonder why It Is that all you fellows are
named 'Wullie Nc" something or other. Be-
cause there are some rare good golfers south of
the Tweed who are "Wullie'-l ess and Mac
less, but somehow they never get over here as
professionals. l have not gone into the Dingley
tariff In detail, and perhaps there is a clause
letting in the MACS ut reduced rates. But,
aside from that, what a haven Of half crowns
this land has proved to be to you and your
countrymen! Living, as you do. far better than
you ever expected to live at home, and receiving,
as you do. far better treatment from the mon
who employ you. would it not DO well II you
accepted these things-a little less as though
they were u matter of coursei The goose that Is
now laying golden eggs for you will soon be
Matching ONE little golfers who. strange as 1t
may seem to you now, may be able to take your
place at some not far distant day. Hence 1t Is
that l permit m ysolf to suggest to you that.
aside from anything else, It would be good
policy to improve your manners Il little. As a
race, you are not conspicuous for your sense OF
humor or for your quickness in making fine
distinctions in matters Of men and manners.
Now. l want to tell you something about these
Americans that has apparently escaped your
notice. After the colder. more precise man.
ncrs Of your patrons Of the fogRy island. this
American ,hail-fcllow.well-met sort Of way and
their apparent hecdlessness Of the social dis
%tinctions to which you are accustomed at home
may lead you to suppose that they care little
for ceremony and demand no great amount Of
respect from their employees. Now this is al
together untrue. They are, on the contrary,
very sensitive on that score, and though the
manners and customs Of a democracy do not
permit the expression of this feeling so boldly
nc 1 ~ r,p,nrrnina1 - INF tho foaIin1-iutharn
none the less. If you were to make yourself,
you and your pipe. as much at home about the
clubhouse at st. Andrews or North Berwick
or Malvern, as l have noticed that you do at
more than one place here, you would, you arc
well aware, be lifted or the promises by the
collar by an iratc official and summarily dis
charged the next day.
Now do not imagine for a moment that these
young Americans think themselves inferior to
your English masters. or that they consider
themselves less worthy of respect and ceremoni-
GUS treatment than they. Your free-and-easy
manners, and your often curt speech. have
caused n good deal OF talk already here, and
once these young Americans como to realize
that your manners are even a shade less defer
entail, once you are employed In this country.
than they were at home, you will have a very
disagrceable time Of 1t. These young gentle.
men do not know much about golf as yet, per.
haps, but rs n race they sec through n milestone,
when 1t has a hole in 1t, as quickly as anybody,
and very much quicker than.thc average Scot;
and once they got it into their heads that you
oatmeal nourished youngsters are putting on
they call it-at their expense.
there will be a general shakin. up in the pro-
ranks all around. More and more of
them 90 to England ind Scotland every year.
and they play golf there. and they take notice Of
The position occupied by the professionals and the
caddies there. and when they get back to their
links and find you smoking your pipe on
tho club piazza they notice the difference be.
tween "Wullie' in England and "Wullie" in
After that you find-as i happen to
know that you have found-another rule or two
about how the professional is to behave and
what his duties are-issued for your guidance.
or course, / know you hear the stories circu.
lating among the English buffers and grooms,
Irish laundrcsses and cooks. the French
their masters and Inistrcsscs. How this rich
man Was n porter. and that one "A miner. and
never heard OF Ralph Waldo Emerson"hes s or
orally played at Concord, Mass.-who once said.
putt at .es the last ah holc, "WsiI' t h@rss ny no s "a seoss
like succcss!"' That is true Of these Americans.
They have been su1priTinely successful. and
wealth the Injuries OF leisure, among other
things English buffers. French maids, and
how TO manage then, and occasionally
advantage Is taken of them for that reason, but
not for long, friend "Wullie." and II you had
ever seen them herd wild steers and drive mules
In the West you would appreciate that even an
butler, or u Scotch professional. stands
no chance against them, once they are familiar
with the proper harness for Scotch driving. 1t
the poet or your own country who wrote:
For beauty and fortune the Iaidic's been courtin';
Weelfeatured. weel-tocher'd. weel-mounted and
Draw;
But chiefly the siller. that gars hin gang TIL her,
The pennies the Jewel that hcautihes a..
Thpre'S Meg WI the matlin. that fsin wad a haen him,
ANA Snsy whahs daddy was Laird o. the ha'i
Iheroh lang tOcher'd Nancy mast fctters his fancy,
But the laddie's dear sci no lo'es dearest III al
And was the laddie's name "Wullie wonderl
We know little of lords and dukes and earls
over here. and some of those we have known
not made titles dear 10 us, hut we are not
such louts in matters OF social experience, friend
SaNpcnce, as 10 take your nOnChalant mention OF
lord This and lord that, rs indicative OF your In
Iniacy with them on the other side.
What OF earlS with whom you have supt,
And OF dukes that you diied with yeBtToenl
Lord a louise, sir. Is Still hut "A louise.
Though 1t crawl ON the curls OF a queen.
Those lines a O by your beloved burns, too,
'Nulllc,' otherwise | had scarce dared 10 quote
them 70 you. But lt mo tell yon that your
iault-at any rate As see you on my home
your dull misapprehcnsion Of your
position, your assumption that you are. here in
q merica, something other than you are at home.
This leads to the more fragrant faults OF mat
tention 10 your duties, cRrelGssnes5 In your