El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1897-02-18

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'sDe doc told me not TO drink water"
Said Willie of wandering feet,
Fer il weakens de food in me stomach
An loosens de gold in me teet'.
Dog Rel.
81 have struck jOD at last. wrote
tourist to d friend with whom he had
last worked. My salary is paid me
in twenty-one weekly install iments,
three installuents per day or one In
stallment at each meal time. L may
not be getting rich, but I am getting
fat
Il see your girls back from San An
tonic" said an old chestnut to friend
on the street the other day. well, L
knew she wore her dresses cut 0ecO-
Lite" said the friend, ''but [ did not
know you could see her back that far
away"
''Dis is de first time dey ever pinched
me, and lis not my fault dis time" SAID
the prisoner to the reporter. II IL
tell YOU about it. Der was rich widow
who lived down IN Chihuabuita. She
lived all alone and der wasn't man in
de whole house to be leary of. DE
dough was in de bottom drawer Of de
bureau in de lonely widows BEDROOM.
Well on de night | was pinChed L got
in dead easy by the cellar window.
climbed up de airs barefooted, crawl
ed along de hall, got in her bedroom
and had me hands on de dough when
all of a suddlnt a big bloke jumped out
of ned and grabbed me by de t'ioat,
while de widow went out to call de po-
lice.'
One of the peculiar, but embarrassing
figures of speech occurred in Ell Pa o
street the other day. which will oc-
OCCASIONALLY occur even with the best OF
speech regulated people. a very
popular young men was standing in the
door of d cigar store: twO'yCung men.
one whom we will call Henuery, were
comm down the street: at the same
time lady Onamed Jones came up
the street and the parties met in front
of the cigar store. Now the lady was
acquainted with Hennery and the yonng
gen leman standing in the cigar store
door, bat the other gentleman was to-
ia stranger to her. she nodded 10 Hen
merry s4nd to theyoung man In the door.
each returning the salute, but was chill
led when the young man in the donr
yelled out: "Hello Jones, when did you
return" The lady was inclined TO be
mad at first, but was greatly relieved
when she found out that the stranger
was also named Jones and the yourg
man in the door was an old .acquaiut-
ance of his.
The HERALD'S artist has become
quite Il beau among the bellies, so much
80 that they crowd around him IN such
numbers while he is at work that the
work in the composing room is disturb
ed and the foreman wno IS prettier than
the artist. is offended, and the artist
says Jealous. Matters, however, were
brought to a climax yesterday when
the foreman ord ere the devil, to go
out and paint a sign to hang up in the
artists department. The devil who
had Just been reading Tom Sawyer,
completed his wO K and came with the
sign painted as followz: "Ladyes VIII
not talk to !de king while ne is per-
forming. Men must not"
The agitation which is now being
made by the orange growers of Cali
fornia. having for its object the enact
ment of t,ritf sutficien ~ heavy to eX-
clude, or at least, materially lessen the
Importation of the Mexican orange in
to that country, ought to meet with or
gauized opposition on the part of the
orange growers of this republic, says
the TAO Republics The act on of the
California orange men is exceeding Y
lll-advised. Coming at a time when
every possible effort should be made 20
fa-ten and encourage trade relations
between the L niJed > ates and Mexico.
it can not, if successful, fail to work
much harm. The government of Mex
leo Is not bin 81, nor is il i'm potent. Re-
taliation will follow retaliat' on, until
instead OF coming closer together, the
two nations viii he drifting farther and
farther apart. The tIat on then is
somewhat serious Prevention is far
better than cure. The facts are against
the Californtans. Mexican oraG4rs 90
cot injur Ously affect their business:
rather dothey, by supply ing the orange
demand at season when the Cal
iforui4n fruit is not availa BILE, help and
strengthen that business. the con-
gress of the Uuitsd 5 ates Is not I'M
reasonable: it is open to conviction.
The true facts. therefore should be laid
before it For the purpose of strength
ening their cause, the orange grove ;
of California have organized. Lei The
orange shippers of Mexico do likewise.
Union IS strength.
Gossips are concerning themselves
with the affairs OF Il bright young man
who married .as every one supposed, into
a wealth, family. not so very long ago.
One OF the 1t RES is that on hndlug the
affairs of his mOtheT-iD-law, who is a
widow. somew hat Involved, the young
man volunteered his services as agent
or manager. The offer was accepted,
and one of his first steps was to fire, "
the venerable attorney, who had man
ag d the state for a time. This 50
the good old gentleman, who
had known the estate to BE- Empower
ished, and had for that reason refraiped
for years from asking for IL fee, that be
sent in bill Of such proportions as al
most to cause the good widow to ia ut
from bodily exhaustion. Being lDdls-
posed to pay the bill, and as the easiest
way out of the difficulty. she promptly
''fired' the son-in-law. in turn, and re-
engaged her elderly friend, who is. |
believe, quite content to advise the