davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
1T CURED HIM.
Instance Where Children's Poe
try Served n Purpose.

try served a
The foreman on a Texas paper is ad-
dicted to sprees. He is a valuable man,
and, although the editor invariably dis
charges him whenever he has one of his
'lapses," he always hires him again the
next day.
A few weeks ago the foreman came
in after a five-days "whizz," with a
wild look in his eyes, shaking hands,
and a propensity to let his sight travel
round the room, following things that
were not there. The editor, as usual, de-
livered his lecture and told him to go
to work again. The foreman took a
handful of copy from the file on the
editors desk and went into the compos-
ing-room. Presently he returned with
a frightened look. holding a sheet Of
paper in his hand.
would you mind looking at this.
sir?" he said. I'm rot feeling very
well. and I'd like to have you read a few
lines of it out loud. if you will"
The editor took the paper and glanced
over it. 1t was one of those mon
sense" verses for children that have be-
come popular of late with the publish
ers of children's literature. and was a
particularly idiotic specimen of its kind.
The first verse ran this way:
1.-THE WInktum-woojum in the land of e
And the Boojum of Crippity Crangle Cree
Met the Tumptytum Tumpty Of Boodledum
Boo,
And they danced to the tune of Dl-dumpty-
di-doo."
The editor conceived an idea.
"Why, this is plain enough" he said.
"The handwriting is very good. It
goes:
1.-The summer sun has Junk to rest,
The bee has ceased to fly,
The little birds are on their nests,
The stars are in the sky
81 don't see anything the matter with
It, Dan. Are your eyes failing"
The foreman took the copy and read
it again earnestly, with a bead or two of
perspiration standing on his fore
head.
"Are you sure" he said. anxiously.
"that you read that right?"
"Of course" said the editor. Its as
clean a piece of poetry asI ever laidmy
Eyes on. Don't you read it the same
way Is I do?"
-:Y-e7sr%,said the foreman, II make it
about the same; but I never expect to
take another drink of whisky as long as
I live"
The editor challenges the world to
cite another instance of a writer of this
kind of verse accomplishing anything
that will serve as an excuse for his ex.
istence.-Detroit Free Press.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18

rance, returning from the dusty plains
of the remote east, had written a book
which caused. all previous chronologists
to hang their heads. Valley City cared
little for antiquity, but here was a man
who had not only written a book, but
was talked about in the daily papers as
a great psychologist and explorer.
William Dorranoe seemed to have no
very definite idea why he had come
back to the'little village. He Fad made
himself believe hat he wished to
photograph some of the old places
which he had known in his boyhood.
He had gone with his camera TO the
old mill, to the little house where he
was born, and to the cabin on the out
skirts of the village which marks the
spot where the first white man made
his home in Bottle county. Yet Will
liam Dorrance was not satisfied. 1t
seemed to him hat he had missed
something which he had unconsciously
come to seek.
"Mrs. Benson he asked, who is
that young woman over there, in the
blue gown"
"You seem to have been exploring
among the layer cakes" replied Mrs.
Benson. THAT is Miss Bowers, a young
lady who has kindly consented to as
sist me this evening. By the way, pro-
lessor, have you met the Misses Fetch
er? They're charming girls"
"And the girls in blue" persisted the
explorer.
Nobody knew exactly what happened,
but a few minutes later another young
woman was dispensing "angel food"
and others directed the ice can
lingade.
"Well, I never" CALCULATED Widow
Simpkins.
"How little taste" remarked Mar
garet Elton, these men of science
have. Still. that blue organdie isn't so
had considering the fact = that it's
slipped over a blue skirt of about the
year one"
Lucinda Bowers went home that
night escorted by Prof. William Dor
rance. For the first time in her busy,
work-a-day life, she had what the vii
lake young people calieo a oeau. Inc
woman and the man who walked along
the low hedge before the Mrs. Bowers
yard did not talk of 'angel food" nor
vet of buried cities. They spoke of a
place way over beyond Kinney's hill,
where the blackberries grew and the
papaws hourished. They talked, too,
Of the days when the hand of the frost
king was laid upon the persinmon,
and a crystal sheen glistened upon corn
and pumpkin-of the days when they
trudged over the field with sacks of I'M
hulled walnuts, specializing, as they
walked. upon the length of time which
would be required to rid their small
fingers of the unsightly stains.
do you remember" asked the girl.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
Rare sight on Lake Ontario.

A waterspout travelled down Lake On
.ario at the rate of probably ten miles
an hour one day lately. 1t was
first noticed by some gentlemen
who were in the board Of
trade building. and was then about
a mile out in the luke, off the center of
the island. The heavy. black clouds
overhead had approached down close
to the surface of the lake. apparently,
and sucked the water up. The water
assembled in a straight spiral column
right to the clouds and then spread out,
the clouds being blown rapidly down
the lake, carrying the ~waterspout with
them. When nearly opposite the east
ern gap the spout broke, and in an in
slant disappeared. while the clouds con-
tinued on their u down the lake
It is said to have been nearly 30 years
since a w~aterspout has been e on
Lake Ontario.-Toronto Globe.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
THE OLD KITCHEN PUMP.

am alvin with my darter, in the city,
FROM the old New England homestead,
west Of Narragansett Bay;
AHu she brought me up one evenin a tall
n~ew-fangled drink.
WIN a straw arisin' from it. ard the color
of it pink.
1t DID me good, I'm sartin, for it didn't do
no harm,
And I guess twas full of magic, for I saw
the dear old farm
AS plain as blazin' sunshine, and the hill we
call The Hump"
And a boy a-drinkin' water from the old
kitchen pump.
That pump was just plain iron, and that
thirsty boy was me,
A-drinkin', and a-drinkin', and as dry as
dry could be;
The pump was always handy. and when a
pump IS nigh,
And a small boy is contiguous, the boy is
always dry.
Twas on my. left in goin' out. my right in
comm in,
And to miss a drink. 1 always felt, would
kinder be q sim.
There was wheezes in its innards and a
gurgle and a thump:
So I always drank to music from the old
kitchen pump.
Though I'm Twin in the city, with my dar-
ter, rich and smart,
I'm still a plain old farmer, and a thirsty
boy at heart.
But each year. as l grow older, my thoughts
go tother way,
And L see a little sperrit boy at sperrit
work or play.
I want to be that little ghost a-standin' by
the sink,
I'd like to tiptoe down once more, at night.
to get a drink:
! must see just one more sunset, from the
hill we called THE Hump"
And have one more drink of water from the
old kitchen pump.
&C. B. Mathewson, in L. A. W. Bulletin.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
Stuffed Potatoes.

e Bake six, nice. smooth, medium-sized
potatoes in a moderate oven about one
hour. Cut in two lengthwise. carefully
remove the inside, keeping the shells in
good shape. Now mash the potato.
adding butter the size of an egg. about
half a cup of hot milk. n level teaspoon.
full of salt and some pepper. Beat until
light; add carefully the well-beaten
whites of two eggs. Return to the
shells. henping slightly. touch lightly
here and there with the yolk of an egg
tusirg a brush for the purrose) and
place in o rather quick oven for about
I. minutes. or until a rice, delicate
brown. Serve Observation-Disclosures
Dhia Press.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18

"how you wed to hunt arrow heads
along the creek?"
YES" he replied, "and 1 remember
that it was at your suggestion that I
started to explore an Indian mound. /
was just ten years old. 1 believe that
it was then that 1 acquired my taste
for archaeology"
L Think" replied the girl, that we
found a sleeps skull and a mussel shell.
1 am sur that you owe your career to
me-"
81 have often thought So" said the
man.
Valley City was busy talking the next
day. Then the young women began to
act. They liked each other none too
we'll. but all combined against COM
mon foe. Here was one, no even rec
ognized in the social register of the lit
tie town, who had presumed to attract
the attention of a distinguished ex-
plorer.
This coalition of social powers at once
began an active campaign. There were
drives to the Rock house, and Lucinda
was carefully excluded from the list of
guests. Prof. Dorrance, as the drives
were arranged especially for his benefit,
could not very well refuse the invita-
tions. There was a dance at DR.. Hyde's,
and the name of Lucinda Bowers ap-
peared on no dancing card. The pro-
fessor was there, for Mrs. Benson, who
was Il remote relative of his by mar
riage, insisted that he must attend.
81 rather think" said Margaret FL.
ton to her mother one morning, that
the professor has forgotten all about
our young friend of her grandmother's
skirt
But the young women of Valley City.
who composed what was known as the
''set" received invitations that after.
noon which caused them to open their
eyes in establishment. Miss Lucinda
Bowers was to give an afternoon tea
If the brass ball had suddenly fallen
from the cupola of the courthouse, Val.
ley City would not have been more as.
tonished.
81 didn't suppose" said Widow
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
AN ABSENT-MINDED MAN.
A Lesson That Cured Him of His Men,
tai Abstraction.


when l was younger than | will ever
be again." said the professor with a
three-story head and eye glasses of tele-
scopic power, Il was the victim of such
intense mental abstraction that l re-
moved myself entirely from the world
OF practical affairs. l was in the bound
less realms of thought and paid but
fleeting attention to the active field of
human action. 1t was necessary to
notify me when 1 should attend my
classes, eat my meals and eve when l
should retire.
Il was at one time requested to lee
ture in a western village and agreed to
do so. The theme was one that had re-
ceired my best thoughts and the mere
prospect of delivering it was a physical
pleasure. When l arrived at the depot
my thoughts were concentrated upon
the proposed address. 1 realized
that my train was an hour late
and that I must hurry. but beyond the
mere fact of hurrying l did not grasp a
detail.
"'Drive fast I shouted to the driver
of a dingy looking vehicle as 1 sprang
in and handed him a five-dollar bill.
Spare neither horse nor whip
Away we went with a plunge. The
carriage rolled like a ship in the trough
of the sea. Street lights seemeda torch:
light procession moving rapidly the
other way. Constables shouted, dogs
parked, small boys chased us and bust
ness ceased that people might stand on
the sidewalk and gaze. Up one street
and down another we dashed nadly.
We took corners on two wheels. grazed
telegraph poles and knocked over such
movables as ash barrels and dry-goods
boxes.
".After half an hour of this bewilder-
ing experience, I stuck my head from
the window and shouted: Are we near
ly there?'
"'Where did yez want to go. sor?'
came the edifying answer."-Detroit
Free Press. ..
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

Bishop Joyce writes in q most en-
thusiastic way concerning Methodist
missionary work in Corea.
The church in which Henry Ward
Beecher preached his first sermon is be-
ing torn down at Clairmont. near Bata-
via, o. 1t has been used as a livery
stable for so years.
At the thirty-eighth session of the
Des Moines conference a resolution was
passed calling attention to the rumors
of the existence of destructive criticism
in our theological schools and demand
ing an inquiry into the same.
Two hundred Lutaerine pastors
Of the Baltic provinces who had been
charged with administering Lutherine
baptism to the children of Lutherine
fathers and mothers who had married
members of the Greek church, have been
granted a full pardon by the car.
Miss Mary Raymond, q member of
the Epiphany Baptist church, New
York, in 1924 deposited S26.55 in a bank,
intending the money to be used for the
education of heather children. 1t vas
only withdrawn this year and paid into
the treasury of the Missionary union
It has grown to SLIT.
"A medical service was recently held
at ST. Paul's cathedral, London. The
archbishop of York preached the ser
mon. The service, which was held in the
evening, was largely attended by the
medical men of London, all wearing
academical costume and accompanied
by the ladies of their families.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
L EYESIGHT.
when Neglected Becomes u Perma-
nent Disability.

The eyes fail for various reasons.
Sometimes this is due to overuse of the
eyes in early youth-to studying be-
tween daylight and dark. and various
foolish habits which bring on near
sighted vision where there was no ten
dency 10 it. There is an erroneous i'm
preston that near-sighted vision is al
ways hereditary. This is n mistake.
Where one or both the parents of a
child are near-sighted, the child is like
ly to inherit a tendency in this direc-
ton, but young persons frequently
bring On near-sightedness where they
have no hereditary tendency to it.. A
much greater number of students be-
come near-sighted than laborers in the
field. Parents should be reminded hat
the time from childhood 10 about the
twenty-first year, according to our best
authorities. is the time when ncar-sight-
ed vision usually appears. If there is
any tendency in this direction an
oculist should be, consulted, who will
furnish reading-S1asscs, which will as
sist the vision and Stop the disease.
The use of such glasses does not imply
a continued use of them. Only when
the eyesight is neglected and the ten
dency to near-sighted vision becomes
permanent is it necessary to wear
glasses all the time. Unless the condi-
tons indicate increasing near-sighted-
ness'-an alarming disease, the end of
which, if not arrested, is blindness
the eyes will not change much after the
twenty-first year except sometimes to
grow less near-sighted.
Far-sighted vision or the failing eye
sight of age usually comes on at from
40 to so years, though there are excep-
lions to all rules. 1t is desirable to put
on glasses to correct near-sighted
vision as soon as it appears. but it is
not desirable to put on glasses of ex-
c~essive magnifying power early. A
good oculist should be consulted. 1t is
hardly safe to buy glasses of an OPP
tician who is not an expert in diseases
of the eyes. 1t pays TO pay a few dol
lars to consult a specialist in this mat
ter, for the vision is too valuable a mat
ter to be tempered with. The glasses
of old age require to be changed once in
two or three years. AS the vision
grows dim more powerful glasses are
needed.-N. Y. Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
MUSHROOM SOUP.
How to Prepare a Delicate and Un-
common Dish.

SOAAhhOA DAsn
A soup that is extremely delicate Is
made of mushrooms.
Clean thoroughly, with a dry cloth, q
pound of good mushrooms, break them
up, and lay them in a clean pan with
a small onion and half q small turnip
or a slice or two of a large one; put
about two ounces of butter in the pan
with these, and let them cook gently
for IS or 80 minutes in n closely GOV
cred pan; now add a quart of any white
stock (that made from mutton shanks
is excellent for this purpose, as it gives
substance without much taste, and so
leaves the mushroom flavor unaltered)
and let it all simmer together slowly for
an hour; then rub it through the am
my, thinning it if necessary with a lit
tie milk, or thickening it by boiling it
up sharply to reduce it, as may be re-
quired; then at last add a liason Of
cream and egg yolk, and serve either
with fried croutons or a garnish of
button mushrooms stewed separately
with a little butter. This soup should
be seasoned to taste with salt and pep
per after it is tammied, and Just brought
up to, but not over, boiling point before
putting it into the tureen, which as in
every case should have been scalded
out with boiling water to heat it.
For this, as for every PURGE, a little
care with regard to the croutons is
well repaid. These are usually minute
dice of bread. fried so hard that it is
almost impossible to get the teeth
through them, and consequently they
are either left or bolted whole with
the inevitable standardization!
Croutons for soup should be prepared
thus: Cut the bread fairly thin, and
then either stamp it out in rounds, the
size of a shilling, OIL cut into squares
of about the same size; have ready some
hot fat, drop in the bread, and if the
fat is at the temperature it should be,
a minute will suffice to color the crou-
tom a pretty golden brown, and to crisp
them; now turn them out on a piece
of kitchen paper in a warm corner to
drain, and sprinkle if liked with a lit
tie finely minced parsley and coralline
pepper. If preferred. the bread a be
laid in a well-buttered tin, and baked in
the oven; if cooked thus, however, it is
nicer to steep the bread in n little soup
or stock before putting it in the oven.
st. Louis Republic.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
An Eating Contest.

Hicks-I understand there was a
queer contest at your house last even
ing.
Wicks-Yes: there was a fellow there
who has the reputation of being a rapid
eater. and he made a bet with Placer
that he could swallow more biscuit in q
given time than Placer could. The chap
was a terror. but Placer beat him all to
nothing.
THAT must have astonished you"
1T did. and it startled the cham
pion eater, too. You see Placer had a
very generous mouth. and while the
other fellow had to eat tandem. Placer
took them in two abreast."-Bostor
Transcript.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
Corn DumpIings.

Make a nice light biscuit dough. and
form it into small thin rounds, Just
large enough to hold a heaping tea
spoonful of corn, seasoned to taste; add
a lump of butter, and form into round
dumplings. Corn previously cooked on
the ear is easier to use than fresh, I'M
less the latter is well drained, as the
milk of the corn makes the closing of
the dumplings difficult. Steam for
about 20 minutes and serve as a garnish
to stewed chicken.-Albany Journal.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
Flower Baskets.

Beautiful baskets OF quaint shapes,
filled with flowers, are decorations now
much used for the center of dining ia
bles. They are without handles, and
from among the blossoms in the center
springs a triple ribbon bow gracefully
wired. To add to the charm of this
decoration little rosettes with ends
made of narrower ribbon are often
placed so as to peep ont here and there
from the basket itself.-N. Y. Sun.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18
II Worked.

Physician-How did the sedativs
powder affect your wife lass night
Mr.. Lively?
Mr.. Lively-Disastrously.
"D~isastrously" Wasn't she able to
sleep?"
"Sleep? Why, the baby cried from
midnight until morning. and she slept
through II sli."-Tit.Rits.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18

Mime. Nolan CarvaIho's statue by
Mercie has just been placed OYER her
grave in the Pere-la-Chaise cemetery.
She is represented as Marguerite in
Gounod's Faust" her most celebrated
part.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18

According to fashion magazines, a
woman's figure. TO be correct this year,
must look as if she wore pillows On her
hips.-Atchison Globe.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-12-18

"A scientific boxe3fay be either a
pugilist or an .undd aker.-Chicago
News.
New-York tribune., 1897-01-25
PETER COOPER'S PHILANTHROPY

The Rev. Dr.. Charles II. Eaton spoke last nigh.
in the Church Of the Divine Paternity on Peter
Cooper and the New Philanthropy
In speaking of Peter Cooper giving his fortune 10
the building OF a school for and women in the
same circumstances he had had to struggle
through in his youth DR.. Eaton said that there
many millionares to-day who spent great
amounts Of money for building hospitals clinics
music halls. libraries. and other philanthropic
works. The number Of men Of wealth who spent
vast sums in some instances all OF their incomes,
on such works steadily increasing he said
1T is such philanthropy as that" said DR. Ea ton
(which makes the new philanthropy. The old
consisted in spending certain amount of money
every year for the maintenance Of the poor in Civ
ing, them bread to eat and a place to sleep. But
real charity is moi giving aims at the door I'm the
street in the church vestibule. That is a curse
to the giver and n disadvantage TO the receiver.
The philanthropy consists in aiding man to
an education. TO he independent to take care OF
himself.
1t is of that type OF philanthropy which devotes
Itself to the betterment OF mankind in educational
works that Peter Cooper belonged. He estab-
lished order Of chivary. He is one of the
long list OF men who came from the ploug hs hare
and the cobbers bench and like BEGINNINGS who
created a new order of chvairy far greater than
any order OF nobility: He is among the greatest
New-York tribune., 1897-01-25
QUEER ACTIONS ~ BROADWAY.

Herman Suker. thirty -four years old. OF No
24S2 Eghth-ave.. who is employed inspector
for the United States Guide and Information Com
pany. whose offices at No. IA West Thirty
fourth-st. was locked up last night in the West
Thirtieth-st station as suspi ,ious person. He
the full uniform OF the company and for
time before his arrest he had been collect
ing small bilboards In front OF theatres on Broad
way and depositing them in the Office Of the
company. He said that the company intended 10
put new borders on them. He had in his posses
sion large pssteboard box containing two pairs
OF trousers. coat. q pair OF snOes. nine towels
and other small articles. apparently taken from
some washrOom He also had a small hand
sachel in which were a blackins- brush. a glass
bulb for an ncandescent lamp and a soap-dish
said he would sell for a5 cents. in order TO get
enough money TO pay his carfare to Harlem
razor. O knife and a scent piere were found In
his pocket when he vas searched al the station
He acted In demened manner. out did not seem
TO be under the influence OF LIQUOR.