The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1897-12-19
TID-BITS OF GOSSIP
COLLECTED BY REPORTERS AT
WASHINGTON DURING THEIR
IDLE MOMENTS.
FRANK HATToNs JOKE ON PAT.
1T COST AN EVEN DOLLAR, BUT
AMUSED HATTON'S COMPAN-
ION.
GEN. GRANTS NARROW ESCAPE
How Henry Watterson Began His
Career-LOve-Makin Under
Difficulties.

How Henry WattersOn Began His
Career-LOve-Makin Under
Difficulties.
Special to the Globe.
WASHINGTON, Dec. 1S-One Of the
careful news cleaners Of the national
capital carries in his hip pocket a short
hand notebook, which he calls his
'story teller" He tells pretty good
stories himself, and is always a good
listener to the stories Of others. He
says: LAS soon as hear good story,
one that pleases and instructs me, L
take out my story teller and write
down full shorthand notes for the pur
pose of reproducing what 1 have heard,
for the benefit of my readers. I find it
is pretty good index Of the value Of
a story for publication If 1t interests
me; for I have heard so many stories
from all classes Of people, that I know
at once that story which is new to
me is apt TO be new to a majority of my
readers
Pulling his little STORY teller" from
his pocket he read some Of his stories,
and gave the narrator the privilege Of
reproducing as many OF them as he
could remember. Inasmuch as the
writer is something Of shorthand
fiend himself he went to his little at
tic at once and proceeded to take ad-
vantage Of the privilege, and so our
readers will have the benefit Of that
little STORY teller" just this once.
John R. Mclean and Frank Hatton
were walking together onBroadway one
evening when they met an Irishman
who was having hard time Of 1t,
taking the whole sidewalk for his loco
motion. Mclean is natural joker,
and he turned to Hatton, and said:
Lets have some fun with Pat. Watch
me-"
When they reached the Irishman, Nc
Lean stopped him, ard handed him
half dollar, saying: Now take that
half dollar, and stop telling the neigh
bCrs that I don't pay my debts
Dazed with alcohol, amazed by the
interruption of his zig-Zag journey, and
almost hypnotized by the clutch of tn
coin, the Irishman steadied himself
against house, locked at Mclean, saw
him smile, and Immediately caught int
the joke of the joker, he said:
Dye mcind, it was rot half dol a"
but whole dollar that ye owed me"'
The joke was on Mclean, and he
gave the fellow another half.
Mrs. Sherman tells a very furry
story about an attache of one of the
foreign lePations who is very much
IN love with young lady, and She is
quite as badly smitten with him. But
as she cannot talk his language and h
knows very little English they are vlr,
heavily handicapped in Their courtship.
1t is said that love knows all Ian
guages," and while this is doubtless
true, it is difficult to convey senti-
ment by gestures alone. The way
they do is to sit down together with
a pad of paper and a lexicon. He
hunts out the words he wants to use.
and writes them down in English; and
then she replies in the same way. They
have a lot of fun and appear to be
getting along pretty well. She says
that while he makes some funny mis-
takes she never fails to "catch on" to
his meaning, and supposes her blunders
are quite as great. The other day he
wrote on the pad: II have not the most
desire to arrive at my home without
to arrive with BOTH which she thinks
means that he does not intend to go
back to his country without her.
There is nothing so queer as folks"
says Oliver Wendall Holmes, in one
of his novels, and nobody doubts it;
1,I,f &c h i'm of 1a6 In no
northwestern part of the city which
goes ahead of anything ever read in
story. She is rich, happy and con-
tented; has husband to whom she is
devoted, and who is devoted to her; but
for some reason she will not explain,
she always has little buckskin bag
hanging to chain around her neck in
which she carries a $500 bill and her
marriage certificate.
Ex-senator Sawyer, of Wisconsin,
recently told this story about the suave
and diplomatic Matt Ransom, of
North Carolina.
II went down to North Carolina"
he says, with a congressional funeral
party several years ago, and Ransom
was along. Whenever the train stopped
at station Ransom got out. shook
hands with every man on the platform,
and told each one that he had left i'm
portant business in Washington to at
tend that funeral with the hope of
seeing him for a moment: and what
surprised me most" continued Mr..
Sawyer was that every mothers son
of them believed it. Ransom had such
a winning way about him. When we
landed at the town where the funeral
was to be held we had to drive six
miles In open carriages against a chilly
wind, without any dinner, and then
sat in cold church to listen to ser-
mon two hours long. Ransom was as
hungry as wolf and chilled through.
as we all were, and after the preacher
had been going about three quarters
of an hour, he commenced to snap his
watch; but it didn't do any good. The
preacher kept right on with his dis
course, and when it was concluded we
were all SO faint with hunger and cold
that we could scarcely stand. But
Ransom revived to the occasion, and
as soon as the benediction was pro-
nounced he rushed UP to the pulpit,
grabbed both of the preachers hands.
and told him he was never so much
interested and edited by sermon in
his life, and his only regret was that
he didn't preach longer. And when he
saw the preacher swallowed that, ne
actually asked him to repeat the ser.
mon the first time he (Ransom) came
to town. I'm good deal on the pail
aver myself" concluded Mr.. Sawyer,
but Ransom beats any man I ever