The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-02-20
TIE JOKERS' BUDGET.
JEsrs AND YARNS OF THE FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS

A Jewel..A Wicked Joke...chiropody In
FarmIng..The Cheerful ldiot-'.A Word
Painter Etc. Etc.
DIAGNOSE.
His conntenance is peasiyc,
His look is far away,
And can it be. you ask, that hs
Ia Wilful Cupid's preys
Nay, tits not love that fire. him,
'Tis some hing worse, alack
He drops his jaw and signs because
His hver's out of whack.
COOP MARKET.
why is so much poetry written on
| autumn. r
..WelI, nearly oeery.hiny's red then"
IN tue FOOTBALL. SEASON.
Small boy TO bothers0ne young sister
Say, Alice, you would make a good foot
ball player.
| AEce-a hy'
Alice's Brother Ga, yoa into:ere SO
nicely.
| "Ius5and and have never quarrclcd,"
| declared Mrs. Holly.
"What perfectly angelic disposition
| he must have" purred her dearest
friend
ssThen they di init start on the honey
moon that nights"
mo. Ii was after 3 O'Clock, and they
had to wait until the next day to get her
| fathers check cishei."
NEVER GET PuNCTUREp.
| ayes" said one of the tramps to the
farmer, "Dusty an me just came in ON
our wheels
"What kind OF wheels do you usc.."
Gar Wheels"
TWO EXAMPLES.
Water-Papa, why is it batter to give
than receive; TO give what fo- example'
Pa9a-Well. advice anl me iicine'
think would cone under that hal, my
son.
KEEPS I'm GOING.
Soxcy--For man who b lFhs the
candle at both ends Softroks III l.i.ges to
keep his health.
knoxey-Oh, he finds time 10 lots OF
exercise.
soxey-I did not know III. WAS Al ath-
ic,e.
Knoxey-Ycs, every dly he's running
into debt
WICKED Joke.
Checks-They say the Esquimaux are
an unellightenel people.
Drafts--Funny. and yet they live on
: candles and lamp Gil.
POOR TRAvERs!
: Skies: All. there's Miss Van Wycx.
! She's off to Europe tomorrow.
Dolph And there's Travers after hc-.
{ How about their engagement?
n Skies: That's of, too.
: oHIRopoDT IN FARMING.
1 Drcllman- Already in nv limited ex-
rericnce in cuitivatlng the soil fiid that
there are many sciences blended in that
OF farming. To day. 70, instance, hii
!. occasion to practice chifop ,iy.
!. soberly-In lee Il How was that.
L Drollman Why, cut The corn on tie
: foot OF the hill.
HAD BEEN VICTIM HIMSELF.
. Winks-Do you believe in hypnotism
o Binks-Of course Id. Don't you ses
% this necktie tina. the clerk Induced my
:, wife-to buy the other day.
THE CHEERFUL InIor.
,.Do yoa believe there is half the mys
10 terry in these secre. orders that they pre-
tend to?n aske the ske )tieai boarler.
W .slilere ia in al order Of hasi,," sail
the hecrful Idiot.
FAILING.
Mr. Figg-rve called to get soms:hin
ut done for my boy Tommy Perhaps yo
IN can prescribe without going to the house
n DIR. Bowless w hat are the symptom
:, how is lis appetite?
ID Mr.. Fig That Is just what called t
IL see you about lie his got SO for til
I'd last two or three days that he doesa
o. care t. eat more than twics as much
er do.
in MATTER OF TASTE
k Customer -Yoa are using differeu
=. kind of SOAP from what you were, aren
W. you:
,pt Barbcr-What makes you think go?
lin .lt doesn't taste the same "
he WORD PAlNlha.
ri, He: The architecture OF Europe woul
an interest me most. :,
She dakota belle, expatiating on h
trayelse Yes. everything is 80 quaint.
lie How d! the Cathedral OF Coiog'
ty- impress you'
OF She: oh, of course, that was too swe
sis for anything.
tu-
No TIE AVERAGE COLLEGE YELL.
WI "You look so pleased where have u
on becn'p
II .l,yc been visiting dentists Offices al
un- had a lovely time-sot q lot OF new ide
for our college yell"
MADE THE WORST NOISE.
,,s nHow did the joint debate come o
last night :"
ao. ..Wcll, think we rather got tue b
ofAit. While it Is true that tn, ott
,uc. fellows had horse fiddle AMI b.
Il.