The Durham recorder. [volume] (Durham, N.C.) 1879-19??, 1897-01-28
|cOL. VANN QUOTES POETRY
The Durham County Philosopher
Is Sarcastic.
STOPS TO DRAW COMPARISONS
Mostly All Men Are Liars Since the Days Of
Adam.
GIVES sEEsEYs NEW YORK DINNER A RAP
Recommends Missionary Work on
Fifth Avenue, New York, for
Christian People.

Christian People.
20 9. lir, 70 wlfuimen,
s-o'F = - g
Inasmuch as all men are tacifs !,
supposed to be liars, we see NO
valid reason why an exception
should be made in favor of any
particular age or geographical Sc
tion of creation; as the genus ho-
mo, it would seem, fell into total
depravity about the time that
Mother Eve established the fig
leaf tailoring department in her
Paradisiacal home, and every bless
ed moment since the deplorable
episode in question, not one of
Adams prcvaricating sons have
escaped censure when brought in
personal contact with contradic-
tion's fallacious scope. As regret
able as this doubtlessly is, yet there
appears no avenue of escape from
this inherent factor of human
weakness; and still we laboriously
plod along after the truth which
in its ignis-fatuous way, continu-
ally eludes both our mutual and
physical grap-just as astute
David B. Hill manages to busf. :.
wha * from behind his redan al
Wolfert's Roost, and leave uLl-
versal intelligence in profound
darkness and mystifed ignorance
as to his real political status. Now,
that same David B. is calla lily
with non-committal attachments
in varigated profusion, to say moth
ing of his minor but none the less
conspicuous accomplishments. Oc-
casionally, however, Colonel David
trains his Cosmic Columbian. OF.
the bivouac of his foes, and IT,
the ranting natives take to
woods in riotous disorder--..,..
Tess Of their less fortunate z.e.sza-.
rades who sink beneath the gener-
al wreck of lingo and scathing sar-
casm.
Whatever seeming inextracable
political tangle, wnicI now ano
then threaten to corner on his re-
serve fund of integrity, he, like
the tabled Colossus of Rhodes,
complacently "straddles" the diff
Guilty, when-mirable dictu--stu-
penduous impossibilities vanish
behind AERIAL curtains to be seen
no more; hope again fearlessly
clings to the spatter-board of fate,
and nature draws long breath OF
supreme content and smiles a
hemispherical smile from India's
coral strand to Greenland's icey
mo intains
in our rapsodic rambles We
stumble upon many scenes, pa
thetic and otherwise-that revel
Of salacious degeneracys- Seeley's
"couchee-couchee" dinner in New
York, some days back, belongs to
the s'otherwise" in our series Of
|rapsodic rambles round reaso.. S
ripraps; and whatever action DR..
Parkhrrst or the Lexow committee
may take in the premises, the fact
remains t,.at If we are clamorous
about stealing a peep into the an
cient and licentious doings OF
heather Rome, we could have fully
gratified this morbid Gu iosity had
we been so fortunate { p as to have
been an invited guest at that in
famous orgy given in Sherry's
swell Fifth Avenue restaurant by
a fashionable "society" man
Why solicit funds with which to
pay special agents to carry the
''glad tidings" to Darkest Sene-
gambia, when both funds and dis
tributing agents are so recklessly
needed in Fifth Avenue1 Ii seems
that Judge Lynch might, without
compromising his stainless honor,
hold a nocturnal tete-a-tete witt
some of Sherry's Edmic rcvele. 5
and il the Law and Ordei
League" Of New York would invite
that judicial parsonage to preside
at one OF those fashionable
orgies, DR.. Parkhurst might have
Occasion to bless his coadiutor in th,
great work of moral reform whicl
he, sometime since inaugurateC
lagaint Colonel Sin in the slums o
Of Greater Babylon.
The suggestion is at your se"v
ices, gentlemen Of the "leaguc ,
is not a patent article, but C.
to you like profered grace Ia
tirely without price or botherini
restrictions. After testing tn
matter, you can then tear up tn
"bioody Shirt" and give the soutI
, a long and much-needed rest