The true Democrat. [volume] (Bayou Sara [La.]) 1892-1928, 1897-11-27
THE GEORGIA HUM0RIST
PHILOSOPHER ON A LECTURlNG TOUR
IN NORTH CAROLINA.

Lively Ride on a Circus Train.-.After Un-
dergoing Many Hardships He is Landed
Among His Friends and He is Royalty
Welcomed.
lizard, hard, indeed, is the contest
for freedom and the struggle for lib
erty." "'lhere is no rest for the
wicked" This world is all feeting
show and Jordan is a. hard road to
travel, I. believe! There are other
CALCULATIONS !. might utter, for Of late
there has been trouble on the old
mans mind. You see, I was invited
over here to talk to these people in a
humorous and philosophic way, and
my wife said as the larder was getting
low and the girls needed some more
winter. clothes. and the tax man was
bobbing around and the grandchildren
would be expecting something for.
christmas, she thought I had better
go. So she packed my valise with
my best clothes, and fortified me with
! little drug store of camphorated oil
and flannel and liver medicine and
paregoric and cough drops and quinine
Ind headache powders, and so forth
Ind 50 on. We kissed goodby all round
and / departed feeling like was being
1rlven off from home by sad necessity.
| took the Seaboard Air Line at At
anita bound for Charlotte, via Monroe,
but our engine broke down at Green's,
ooro about dark and this delayed us.
three long, dreary hours, and when we;
reached Monroe it was way after mid:
alght and the Charlotte train had
gone. There were three nice ladies
aboard and several gentlemen, who
We're greatly disappointed, but the
conductor was kind and sympathetic
and said there was circus train near
oy that was going to Charlotte right
away and if we didn't mind riding
thirty miles in cab he would get US
the privilege. The ladies, said yes,
and we did, too, and climed in. It
was as dark as Erebus. We felt our
way to find seats, but there was moth
ing but some long tool boxes whose
lids were hard~and cold. There was no
dreand the wind blew through a broken
glass on the back of my head. The
ladies' chatted away merrily, for they
we're going home, but I wasn't and I
couldn't chat to save my life, for was
very tired and thought Of that good
soft bed at home. By and by the
conductor came in with lantern and
took up our tickets and left us in the
dark again. About that time the AMI
mails got restless and the lion gave an
lnearthly howl. You see this was
menagerie train.
"The animals went in two by two,
The elephant and the Kangaroo"
Ind every time the cars careened about
or swung round curve we could hear
some .devilish noise ahead of us. ooh,
mercy" said the youngest girl, "sup-
pose they break, out!' .''They will eat
The tenderest and sweetest first" said
[. 'Lions always do" I pulled my
cloak UP over the back Of my head
and ruminated. For two long hours
We logged along, for the train was
'unning slow to suit the wild beasts
md we were Of no consequence.
It was near 3 o'clock when we got
to the suburbs of Charlotte and
stopped. Nobody was looking for us
nobody rushed forward to meet us, no
porter nor hackman-no omnibus or
street cars, not even wagon or an OK
cart or darby. The moon had hid
herself to keep from seeing our mis-
cry, but we seized our grips and wraps
and satchels and made q march for the
electric lights. My companions soon
separated from me and marched in
single file with my big valise full Of
clothes and the drug store, and strug-
gled for three quarters Of a mile up the
long and hard sidewalk. I am not,
ased to arc lights, and the Pickering
shadow Of every tree and telegraph
pole looked like man in ambush who
was fixing to hold me up. I had for
gotten where the hotels were, and un-
consciously passed them, for the doors
we're all shut, and there was no sign.
By and by I met a policeman and he
conducted me back to tho hotel, and
{ was as thankful as I was tired and
humble. My pitiful tone of voice Sc
cured me kind attention and bed.
When man is far away from home,
his warmest welcome is an inn. But
[ did not rest we'll.
A10 o'clock supper, on fried sausage
and scrambled eggs and stale oysters,
disturbed my corporosity and I dream
ed that the tiger got loose and came
prowling and bowling around the car
and somehow I got q Ratchet out of
the tool box and lifted the young lady
through the port hole upon the roof,
and volunteered to defend her with
my life and my sacred honor. The tiger
made desperate leaps TO get up there,