New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-01-20

.'Why, the explanation is simple

''Why, the explanation is simple lllle
enough said the friend.
.'Please enl5ghten me, then, : said
Twain.
s.Why. you should have hired younger
men. These old fellows have lost their
teeth, and Of course they don't speak
Arabic. They speak gum Arabic
The infalliblity Of juriss is we'll ess-7
tablished, bat an anecdote Of Z celebrat-
ed case tried before the late Lord Just
ice Bowen. of Liverpool is told IN. the
Strand Magazine, which places an Eng
lish jury in an amusing light. The Lord
Justice, it is said, had q keen apprecla-
ton of the humorous which the twelve
Liverpool jurymen certainly had not.
A man had 5een captured very late
one night on the roof of a house that
had Just been broker into. He was armed
with q burglars iimmy, and over his
boots were drawn a pair of thick, ribbed
stockings. He was tried for burglary
spd pleaded not guilty, putting, forward
as his defense thar he had no fe.on-
ious intent. Lord Bowen, in summing
up, told the jury that the facts were un-
contested, and that if they believed the
prisoners story and reasonably thought
that a man would draw stockings over
his boots, arm himself with jimmy,
| break into house and climb onto the
roof, not for the purpose of committing
a felony, but merely in order to take the
evening air, they would acquit the priss-
oner. The jury failed to see through
the delicate satire of the judges address
and acquitted the prisoner.
! Many stories are told of the witty re-
torts made by a New England judge who
died few years ago, and among these
is one which proves that his wit did not
desert him under the most trying circum-
| stances. Ono day, as he started down
the court house steps, he slipped, lost
his footing, and fell, with many thumps
and bumps, to the sidewalk. One of the
influential men of the place, who was
passing, hurried up to the Judge, as the
latter rose to his feet
Il trust your honor is not seriously
hurt e. lac said, in anxious inquiry.
"My honor is not all hurt,'' returned
the judge, ruefully. "but my elbows and
knees are, can assure you.
X X
Harpers Round Tab le recalls an ad-
venture that some members of an Eng
lish ordnance survey met with while
touring in the south of Scotland. In the
prosecution of their calling they entered
a field belonging to crusty old farmer.
Seeing the strangers looking about in a
way he could not understand, the farmer
approached "Wlat are ye lettering in
the field for % ''Oh, we haye right to
go anywhere" returned one Of the COM
pany. eve are surveying, and here are
our Government papers" t.Paper here
or paper there,'' returned the farmer,
"oot ye gang oot o'my field" '.No, we
shan't," returned the man, sand you are
rendering yourself liable to prosecution
for interrupting u.s." The farmer said
no more, but went over to his shed,
which opened into the field, and let out
vicious bull. The bull no sooner saw
Ishe red coats than he went for them in
fu1f career. The surveyors snatched up
their theodolite and flew for their lives.
while the old farmer, in great glee, yelled
after them: What are ye running for.
Can ye no show the bull yer Govern
ment papers2' &.
"A London paper says that in the Exc
ter days of Archbishop Temple, when he
was suspected Of heterodoxy, . young
curate came to him one day and said
"My Lord, it is rumored you are not
able to believe IN special interpretations
of Providence on behalf Of certain per.
! sOns.'' ssWell 2,'s srnnted the Rishnn