Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1897-11-06
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ASkinS-What KIM Vi an alarm CLOCK
have YOU? Hennypeck-My wife's ell
bow.-Puck.
"Our landlady had to lower the din
ing tables three inches why did she
do thatY Nearly all the hoarders are
scorchers. indianapolis Journal
Gentle hint: Danseuse-Baron, If l
were to receive bracelet anonymous
" tomorrow morning, | should be sure
that 1t came from you.-Fliegende
Blaetter.
The golfers scorn: First golfer-Did
YOU hear about Viewer? He's learning
to play lawn tennis. Second golfer-He
must be paying an election bet.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Are you one of the striking miners p
asked the woman at the door. "Yes,
mum. I'm what dey call a pioneer. l
struck thirty years ago and I've never
give in yet Detroit Free Press.
A real surprise: Ethel-So he drop
ped right down on his knees and pro-
posed? Dear me. Did you say This
Is so Suuuc1l clClOpt VII, hO' -
was 50 unexpected. you know!-Puck.
Mrs. Peck-If l had my life to go
over again, wouldn't marry the best
man alive Mr.. II. Peck (his chance at
last)--You bet you wouldn't. wouldn't
ask you to.-Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
The butler-Hand hevery night at
the hour of midnight the ghost hap
pears and groans and wrings its hands.
American tourist-Ah! Must have died
In the cucumber season.-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Old lady-This must be a very
death rate be? Gravedigger-Won
full steady, mum-wonderful steady.
Just one death to each person right
along. -Sketch.
Il must have been a fool when
married" said little Tompkyns. glar
ing fiercely at his wife. Certainly, my
dear" said Mrs. Tompiyns, sweetly;
"it couldn't come on so badly all in two
years, could it?"-rit-Bits.
Poor Robinson There goes his fun
eral." What, is Robinson dead?' Il
imagine he is. Perhaps he is just rid
Ing around town in that hearse for the
fun of the thing, however. '-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Miss Crabs declares her girl
friends can't deny that her attachment
to that gentleman with a title was
case of love at first sight" That's
very true replied Miss Cayenne; "she
saw him first. "-Washington Star.
Customer-You remember you sold
me this coat yesterday? You said you
would return the money If it wasn't
satisfactory. Clothing merchant-But,
my dear sir, it vos quite satisfactory;
nefer had peter money as dot in all my
life.-Puck.
Doctor-If you must know, ma'am,
your husband won't live twentyfOur
hours longer. Goodness gracious"
calculated the broken-hearted but
economical woman, "and here you've
gone and prescribed medicine enough
for five days. "-Tit-Bits.
Fairly fresh: May from the hoteD-
SO you're staying at a farmhouse?
Everything fresh, and all that, sup
pose? Maude-Oh, yes, indeed. Why.
after he got through milking last night
the farmers son came around and pro-
posed to me.-Brooklyn Life.
Amateur theatrical heroine Qndlg-
nantly)-You say you don't think the
persons in the back of the audience can
hear us speak our lines? Professional
coacher-NO; but don't let that worry
you. They can hear the prompter; so
they won't lose track Of the play
Puck.
Charitable old lady Ito little beggar
girD-There's some bread for you. 1t is
n day or two old, but you can tell your
mother to take three or four fresh eggs,
quart of milk, a cup of sugar, some
good butter and half grated nutmeg,
and she can make a very excellent pud-
ding of it.--Tid-Bits.
AS he finished drinking his soda he
laid his hands upon the fountain in an
unobtrusive way and remarked, 81 sup
pose this is charged?' Yes" said the
drawer. reaching under the counter for
a pistol 80 is this" THE moneys
yours" said the drinker, throwing
down a dime.-Boston Transcript.
yesterday" said Jabson, 81 refused
poor woman request for small sum
of money, and in consequence of my act
passed a sleepless night. The tones
of her voice were ringing In my ears
the whole time" Your softness of
heart does you credit" saiG MADISON;
"who was the woman?" "My wife,
Tid-Bits.
II was mast midnight and M Ivra-