davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

He WAS EQUAL TO THE EMERGEN-
Cyl want" said the recently mar
ried man in the novelty store, "a lady's
belt" Eyes, sir" said the polite shop
empress. "What size" A blush
mantled the customers brow, and he
swallowed twice in rapid succession.
Then he said: 81 don't know exactly.
Let me have a yardstick, please" I"
And as he placed it along the inside
of his arm, from shoulder to wrist, the
shop empress remarked beneath her
breath to her chum, "He amt the fool
he looks, is he, Jenny?"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
Humorous department.

LINING OUT THE HYMN.-A colored
exhorter, while holding a meeting in
Georgia, says the Atlanta Constitution,
solicited a special collection to defray
the expenses Of the meeting. "Well
pass roun' de hat" he said, endurin
de singin' oh de hymn on Page No.
2O5-'On Jordan's Stormy Banks. "
And then he proceeded to cline out"
the hymn, but so intent was he on the
collection that he forgot whole lines
of it, and supplied others, with the
following result:
"On Jordan's stormy banks stand
En- cast wishful eye
To Canaan's fair en- happy land
Don't let dat hat pass byD
80 de transportin', rapturous scene
Dat rises to my sight!
Drap in dat nickel, Brudder Green0
En- rivers of delight!
"Could but stand whar Moses stood
En- view de landscape DER,
Not Jordan's stream, nor Deaths cold
flood
I'VE wants ten dollars more.w
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

pds. She had never been to dinner
party before, says the Boston Home
Journal, and so was nervous. When
the ices came, small cakes were passed
with them. Most Of the cakes were
covered with pink icing, but on the
further side of the dish was one coated
with chocolate. 81 will take this, "
she exclaimed, and attempted to pick
up the cake. To her surprise it SEEM
ed glued to the platter. At the same
time attention from all quarters was
centered on her by the remark of the
sable waiter, "Beg pardon, miss; but
that's mine." The supposed chocolate
cake was his thumb.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

H9~ A Texas judge was robbed of a
horse not long ago, and the thief be-
ing apprehended, was brought before
him for trial. The judge eyed the
prisoner with deep satisfaction for a
minute or so, and then delivered him
self of the following: "Owing to a
personal prejudice, the court will not
hear this case. 1t will be tried by the
bailiff, who will find verdict in ac-
cordance with the facts. In the mean
time," he added, impressively, "the
court will 60 outside and bend rope
and pick out a good tree"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
When You Want
Nice Clean
Job Printing

You should always 60 to THE
ENQUIRER office where such
printing is done. Excursion
Bills, Programmes, Dodgers, Cir
culars, Pamphlets, Law Briefs,
Letter Heads, Note Heads, Bill
Heads, Envelopes, and Cards OF
all kinds printed on short notice
and at very reasonable and legit-
innate prices.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

s~ A young western lady who want
ed something that would keep her
stockings up where they belonged,
thus addressed the terror-stricken
young store clerk "It is my desire to
obtain a pair of circular elastic ap-
pendages capable of being contracted
and expanded by means of oscillating
FURNISHED steel appliances that sparkle
like particles Of gold leaf set with
Alaska diamonds, and which are util-
lied for keeping in position the habili-
ment of the lower extremities which
innate delicacy forbids me to men-
ton"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

EXCESSIVE FERTILIzING NOT PRO
F1TABLE.-In a New York test, 1000
pounds of fertilizer applied to an acre
of potatoes increased the crop 4S bush
els in '95 and 40 bushels in '96. The
same season the application of 1900
pounds to a like erea produced So bush
els in '95 and 81 in '96, thus showing
that the use of over 1000 pounds pei
acre was added with loss compared
with use of 1000 pounds.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

Say They were having some private
theatricals, and Mr.. and Mrs. Jinks
gave the scene from the "SchoOl Tor
Scandal" in which Sir Peter berates
and reproaches Lady Teazle for her ex'
travagance and other shortcomings,
Edith Jinks, aged eight, was in the au'
dience, and when asked at the close Of
the entertainment how she had en-
joyed her parents acting, she electri-
fed her hearers by saying, in a tone
of disappointment: "Acting! They
were not acting. That's the way they
are always going ON at home ]"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
TERMS OF THE CONTEST.

The clubmaker who returns and pays for
the largest number Of subscribers-NEW AND
OLD-Will be entitled to the choice Of the three
above described premiums. The clubmaker
who returns and pays for the largest number
of NEW NAMES, will be entitled to second
choice. The clubmaker who returns the sec
ond largest number Of names-new and old
will be entitled to the third choice. In other
words, the first choice goes to the largest club
the second choice to the largest number OF
new subscribers and the third choice to the
second largest club Of old and new subscribers.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

s@ A guide was recently showing a
party of ladies through museum, ex-
planning the various objects as they
went along. "This," he said, taking
up a sword, "is the weapon with which
Balaam threatened to kill his ass" 81
never learned" interrupted one of the
ladies, "that Balaam had a sword.
What have read in history is that he
wished he had one to kill his ass"
"Well," replied the young man, "that
is the sword he wished he might have
had"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

Two POINTS OF VIEw.-Old Mr..
McGinnis is anxious that his son, Hos
letter, should marry rich girl, so he
said to him, one day: "Hostetter, why
don't you propose to Miss Bondclip-
per? She's got lots of money"
ayes, but she limps with one leg and
squints with one eye" "Don't be a
pessimist. Be an optimist. Say she
has one leg she doesn't limp with and
one eve that doesn't squint."
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
THREE BIG PREMIUMS.

The three leading premiums are CARO-.
LIMA BUGGY, q ROCK HILL BUGGY. and
MONARCH BICYCLE, for lady or gentle
quarter leather top, and the Carolina" an
open buggy. Both vehicles are to be OF the
very best grades manufactured by the respect
i've well-known establishments. The Bicycle
the Monarch Cycle Company, and the Mon
arch wheel, as every wheelman knows, Is
without superior.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
CONNECTIONS.

CONNECTIONS.
No. 80 has connection with Southern
Railway at Rock Hill, and the S. A. L. at
Catawba Junction.
Nos. "a and 35 will carry passengers.
Nos. IL and II have connection at Marion
with Southern Railway.
At Roddeys, Old Point, Kings Creek
and London, trains stop only on signal.
S. B. LUMPKIN, G. P. A.
A. TRIP, Superintendent.
SANpL HUNT. General Manager.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
For 6 and Less Than 10
For 4 and Less Than 6
And to Each Old Subscriber
To Each New Subscriber.

The same as above except that II the paper
is COMMENCED NOW, IT WILL BE SENT
UNTIL JANUARY !, 1899, without any
charge for that portion Of the time between
now and January i, 1887. 1t Is understood,
however, that If the subscriber fails to p9y
the clubmaker the subscription price, he will
be due him for all papers that he may have
received.
names were not on OUR BOOKS ON OCTO-
BER lat, 1897, except we will not count as
new subscribers, cases where the subscription
may have been changed from the name Of one
member Of family to another. This Is In
tended emphatically to mean new additions
IN o,,r sI, hSn ri nti0n list
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

s@ Never fear to bring the sublim-
est motives to the smallest duties, and
the most infinite comfort to the small
est trouble.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

a9r- Holmes gives the following splen-
did type of innocence One of my
friends had little marble statuette of
Cupid in the parlor of his country
house-bow, arrow, wings, and all
complete. A visitor indigenous to the
region, looked pensively at the figure,
asked the lady of the house, eff that
was a statoo of her deceased infant ?"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
OTHER PREMIUMS.

In addition to the competitive premiums
mentioned above, we also offer various other
premiums for clubs containing specified num-
bers Of names, and propose to deliver the pre-
miums whenever the numbers specified are
returned and paid for. Upon securing one
premium-a watch or sewing machine. say
the clubmaker will be at liberty to try for the
same thing again, or for anything else on the
OF MARCH, 1898, ne shall have succeeded In
returning and paying for the largest number
OF NEW NAMES, he will be entitled TO the
SECOND CHOICE Of the three leading pre-
miums mentioned above, just the same as II
he had not previously taken other premiums.
Now then read the list !:
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

sa Papa" said Tommy, "little
brother is a week old tomorrow, ism t
he ?" eyes" "Let's you and me
give him birthday present" every
we'll. What shall it be-" "Let's buy
him a wig. He needs that more than
anything"
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

p9 You can break thread very cas-
lily. But if you twist hundred of
them together, you can't. So with the
habits you. form.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
CENTRAL TIME STANDARD.

Trains Nos. 9 and 10 are first class, and
run daily except Sunday. Trains Nos.
60 and 81 carry passengers and also run
daily except Sunday. There is good con-
nection at Chester with the G.. G. q n.
and the G. c. & A., also L & c: r. H.. at
colnton with c. c.; and at Hickory and
Newton with W. n. G.
G. F. HARPER, Acting G.. P. A.,
LenOir n. G.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
AND KEEP AT 1T.
For 20 and Less Than 80

For 2O and Less Than 3O
SUBSCRIBERS, We will give NO. "a AU-
TOHARP, valued at $50 or THE ENQUIR-
Err and any monthly magazine or weekly
newspaper published In the United States, for
one year.
For 10 and Less Than 20
q CONCAVE WARRANT
ED RAZOR, SILVER PLATED GRAVY La
DIE, or an extra quality FOUR BLADED
POCKET KNIFE, with name and address on
the handle. Any Of the articles mentioned
would be bargain ats.
For 6 and Less Than 10
SUBSCRIBERS, "CLIMAX" WATCH, war
ranted for one year an extra quality THREE
BLADED Pocket KNIFE, or CHILDS
SILVER PLATED TABLE SET. Good val.
ues at sl.5O.
For 4 and Less Than 6
SUBSCRIBERS, "YANKEE" WATCH,
TER KNIFE, or TWO-BLADED POCKET
KNIFE. with name and address on handle.
And to Each Old Subscriber,
THE YoRKvILLE ENoUIRER-TWICE-A-
WEEK-illed with bright, fresh news from
THE COUNTY, STATE, NATION AND
WORLD, interesting stories, instructive mis-
cellaneous matters, and humorous selections,
explanatory editorials, etc. The paper will be
held up to its present high standard, and will
continue prompt, explicit, reliable, and, in
short, the best.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
For 60 Subscribers,

We will give the clubmaker his choice Of the
following premiums each valued at SIS: A
FOUR DRAWER ENQUIRER" SEWING
MACHINE, together with all attachments
q "HOUSEKEEPER'S" SET OF KNIVES,
FORKS AND SPOONS, made by Rogers q
"WALTHAM" WATCH in coin silver, dust
proof case q NO. AUTOHARP, BANJO,
GUITAR MANDOLIN, or VIOLIN.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

TIME TABLE of the Ohio River and
4 Charleston Railway company, to take
effect Monday, October 18th. at $50 a. m.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
For 40 and Less Than 60

SUBSCRIBERS, we will give the clubmake1
WALTHAM W. IlTii WATCH, In open face silver
case; set Of half dozen ROGERS BROS:
KNIVES and FORKS az PIECES; NO;
AUTOHARP, BANJO, MANDOLIN, GU1:
TAR, or LOW ARM SINGER SEWING
MACHINE.
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08

1--WE wants ten dollars more.p
Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-08
For 80 and Less Than 40

SUBSCRIBERS, choice Of the: following, each
valued at $40: NEW YORK STANDAkD
7-JEWELED WATCH in dust-proof case; AK
GOLD FILLED WATCH CHAIN, or HALF
DOZEN TEASPOONS, HALF DOZEN IA
BLESPOONS and BUTTER KNIFE QS PIE
CESS.
Address,
l.. Nj. GRIS1
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-12-17

On the incoming train on the Whining
ton, Columbia and Augusta Railroad.
Wednesday, two young white men
Were passengers and they got off the
train together at Chadbourn to go to
Conway, S. c. When the train got To
Brinkley. Captain Sam Cannon, the
conductor, received a telegram
from one Of the men asking
him to ook under or about the seat
where they had been sitting and see il
he could find a roll containing 500.
which he had dropped.
Captain Cannon turned over the
seats and made a thorough search and
inquired of the passengers IL anyone
had picked up the roll Of money None
of them had done so, but a colored
woman, from this city, who sat oppo-
site the two young men, said she saw
a man with a broad brim hat pick up
a roll Of something as he went out Of
the train at Chadbourn. The man she
described was the party who was in
the seat with the man who dropped the
bills. The woman, however, refused to
give her name when requested. and II
is believed that she picked UP the mon
ey herself.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-12-17

porting a population Of ten millions
Of people in luxury" but he was
forced to add that the people were not
capable Of maintaining themselves in
their present condition" And this is
very much what is urged now in regard
to Hawaii. Foreign acquisition is the
cry and the supposed danger. We
trust the American people will awaken
to the grvity OF the situation. and not
let the cranks have their own sweet
way. The history OF Hawaii is one
that should at least awaken enough
interest in a republic like ours, to pre-
vent any wrong doing against it We
have struggled over her for our own
independence and We ought to have
some sympathy with the peoples in
other lands who are weak in numbers
and VINO have been outraged in
foreigners who have seized their
territory and o~verthrown their gov-
eminent. The usurpers pretended
that they had set up a republic.
The Evening Post hardly charges that
their emissaries to this country were
guilty Of lying and imposture, and it
looks as if President Mckinley has
fallen a victim to the deception and is
a party to the shame. But as the
Evening Post say in this recent mes
sage, he calls the three thousand for
eigners the republic Of Hawaii" Let
it he added, to quote from The Evening
Post farther, that the president must
have known that the 109, 900 people OF
Hawaii have not been consulted about
this matter, have not authorized the
three thousand foreigners to act in
their name and are opposed to the
whole scheme of annexation" We are
indeed glad to learn from the Washing
ton correspondent OF The New York
Tribune, that opposition has occurred
to this vile scheme, FOL he says in his
grief that there is a tendency or
the democratic side to make the acQui-
sition of Hawaii a party question:" We
hope that the present representative of
the people in the congress from h
south will be found on the side of con-
servatism and safety and justice and
not on the side Of aggression, usurpa-
ton and violation of right.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-12-17
The Bishops Conundrum

Here is a story an Alabama man tells
Of Bishop Wilmer. 1t happened soon
after the raj Bishop Wilmer had
gone to a northern city to ask aid for
a confederate orphans home in which
he was interested. There was a din
ner in his honor, and after dinner the
bishop was begged to tell a story or
two. The bishop said he hadn't a
story.
But" he added, eve got a conun-
drum. Why are we sOuthernerS like
LaZarus?"
The guests-they were all union men,
by the way-suggested many answers.
The southerners were like Lazarus be-
cause they were poor, because they ate
Of the crumbs from the rich mans
table, because-because of everything
anybody could guess.
"No," said the bishop, you're all
wrong. We're like Lazarus because
and he smiled blandly-"because
we've been licked by dogs"
A roar Of laughter round at
that, for the bishops utter unrecon-
s~tructedness was always one of his
charms Everybody laughed but one
mottled faced man, who became very
indignant.
We'll" he snorted, 'if you think
we're dogs, why in-not earth-have
you come up here to beg for our money
for the money of dogs?"
The bishop chuckled.
MY notified FRIEND" said he, 1.-the
hair of the dog is good for the bite.
That's why I've come"
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-12-17


There was another very pretty we'd
ding at St. James Episcopal church
yesterday evening at $50 O'Clock, the
parties TO the happy union being Mr..
w. A. Dick and Miss Nellie Watson
Draper. daughter OF Mr.. +. T. Draper.
two OF wilmington's most prominent
and popular society people. The chan
eel was prettily decorated with palms
and lilies. and one hundred candles
illuminated the altar. Quite n num-
Der OF friends assembled al he church
to witness the happy affair.
Mr.. E.. II. Munson. organist at ST.
James. presided at the Instrument.
and while in waiting. rendered with
admirable skill a programme OF classi-
cal music, including selections from
Tanhauser. As the bridal party entered
the church. the bridal chorus from
Lohengrin was played, the ushers. Mr..
II. NJ. Chase, OF his city. and Geo. T..
Elliott. Esq, OF Richmond. Va, cad
ing the way UP the main aisle. Fol-
lowing them was the mlid OF honor.
Miss Mary Lilly Kenan. wearing a rich
toilet OF electric blue velvet. embroid-
cred in yellow, ard carrying a lovely
bouquet of pink carnations. The bride
came after her maid. leaning on the
arm of her father. and was attired in
a handsome and becoming tailor-made
visiting toilet OF brown broadcloth.
trimmed with brown velvet, and bear
ing a magnificent bouquet OF Parma
double violets. The groom. accom-
panied by his best man, Mr.. Fred Dick.
his brother, came in from the vestry
room and Joined the bride at the chan
Gel Thence they proceeded to the al
tar, where the marriage ceremony was
performed by Dr.. Strange. The brides
father gave her away.
The bridal party retired while Men,
d~elssohn's wedding march was render
ed, and the bell in the tower rang mer-
rily. From the church they repaired
to the residence OF the brides father.
On Third and Ann streets, whittier they
were accompanied by a few close
friends, who gathered to bid the couple
adieu, prior to their departure on a
northern tour. They left for New
York at us p. m. by the Atlantic
Coast Line, in the private car OF Pres
ident H. Walters. They will return
the first of next week and will make
their home at Mr.. Diapers residence.
A rare collection OF very many hand
some and costly presents were dis
played at home.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-12-17
STATE PRESS.

The fraudulent pfnsion bill appropriate
ing over H.0Jo.0yo passed the house
without amendment or the offer Of an
amendment 10 purge II OF Its fraudulent
beneficiaries by any congressman from
North Carolina Yet Mr. Pearson and
MT. Linney have made themselves con-
spicuous to a degree bordering on the
frantic in assaults upon the civil ser
vice Which kept their incompetent hench-
men from the public criD.-Raleigh Post.
That though expressed in his speech
at OXFORD by DR.. Simms was exquisitely
true, that II preachers would COM
mons would have about them more OF lSe.
fragrance of the flowers. Constellation
nlies how they grow. yet I say unto you
tnat solomon in all his glory. was not ar
rayed like one of these" This tmperisha-
DIE reflection is alive with the breath of
the heids. and v seems. 10 US, about illus
trates the idea DIR. Simms so wholesome
server.
Some of our postmasters constantly
furnish food for amusement. The post-
master at Maiden some time ago unfold
cd 10 the general what he
tnnugnt was a deep. dark hot Of some
VILLAINS bet wee Nader and New Or
leans tn punch holes In all the letters
that cayns through. The letters had been
Iumigaied ny the health authorities. The
report comes that a Davfe county post
master refused to deliver a letter because
IL mad a black mourning border around
II. de held II, and was preparing to send
IT TO the dead letter Office when the mat
Yer was explained to hi~m.-Charlotto
News.
compliments are passing to the credit
or Judge II. @. Ewart as a public Of
nctal who pays his way on railways. not
OF course with service rendered, nor BIZ
newspaper advertising. but with legal
confusion in h public mind. neverthe-
less. on this subject, and we therefore
suggest to Judge Ewart tina he give a
specific and complete answer TO this
question:: HAVE y0Q ever while Judge,
Travelled over the Southern or any other
railway on . free pass? T7As f. a sim
Die question m can be answered by .
simple ~ q n~o-As6sv1ue C1ttDen.
The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-12-17
The University Dramatic Club 10 be IN vii.
mington New Years. Eve
Correspondence of The Messenger.)

OF Inc MeSSenger.)
Chapel Hill, N. c., December Is.
The university dramatic club, which
has made a great success with it's two
home presentations, viii begin tbs holi-
day tour on the 9th of December and
will arrive in Wilmington to give a
performance New Years Eve. Lon
don Assurance" the famous comedy of
Dion Boucicault, is the play to be
given.
The club has practiced steadily all the
fall and has arrived at a state of per-
lection seldom attained by amateurs.
Though the reputation Of the oiganiza-
ton has ben widespread for several
years, it is universally conceded that
this years cast outstrips all Of former
seasons, and hence it is determined to
take the play all over the state during
the winter and spring.
In the cast are MeSSrS. BuSbee, Pond.
Cox, Graves, Follin, Staten, May, Har-
ris, Myers. and Rawls. Mr.. Cox, who
the part of Mark Meddle," the
pettifogging two-cent lawyer, has seer
something Of professional stage life and
does his part with great force. He will
also introduce numerous specialties be-
tween the acts. Messrs. Follin, Myers.
and Staten fill the female roles Of the
play and make, it has bel said, pretty
keen" girls. Messrs. Busbee, May,
Graves and Harris have been for sever
al years connected with the club, while
Messrs. o and Rawls furnish the
new and valuable acquisitions of this
session.
The first performance of this year
was given at Chapel Hill on December
Bird, before a packed house. A repeti-
ton followed by request on the next
night. Everyone was delighted with
the pretty custuming, and easy acting,
and all phophesy great success for the
club in Tarboro, Wilson, G~oldsboro
n Wilmington during the holidays.