Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-02-25


His victims kindly do the work
BY leaving on their overshoes.
Washington Star.
she-So you are really engaged At
last? Oh. am so glad! He-You ought
to be.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Moss-what do you think would be
the greatest evil Of another civil war?
Foss-The plays that would come after
it.-Life.
Those people next door are still In
their honeymoon" do you think so?"
yes, he goes shopping with her,
Chicago Record.
Here is joke about an electric
shock" said the hsmorist. Put II up,
der the head OF Current Fun" re-
piled the editor.-Life.
Reporter-Will you be a member Of
the cabinet? Great Statesman-Um!
This weather certainly is very remark
able.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Fair Poetess-Won't you please print
my poem? Conciliatory Editor-I can't.
really; but l should like to print your
picture.-Somerville Journal.
"pve discovered why the Greeks
were such happy people" "Why was
itY' 'They didn't have their clothes
made to fit."-Chicago Record.
"Brownjones Is the hardest man to
take In shorthand that ever st'ucl
Does he talk so fast as that?" NO
so COMPOUNDED slow."-New York Sun.
Frizby-Is 1t not much more expens-
i've cruising in a yacht than travelling
on the cars? Vanwart-The reverse.
There are no porters on yachts.-Judge.
The way my neighbours daughter sings
Would make one tear his hair;
Yet suppose she has the right
Because she rents the air.
Judge.
Were those cough-drops benefcialT"
''rhey worked like charm. They
have such horrible taste that the chill
dren have all stopped coughing. "-Chi-
cago Record.
"Do you know your neighbors, the
Lippertons mo, we don't know
them at all; they merely used to lend
us their lawn mower last sumner
Chicago Record.
Scientists say that the secret of all
life Is vibration" Pooh! I've had
lots Of people give me the shake, but
there wasn't anything secret about It."
Chicago Record.
81 like to cook enough to last" re-
marked the young bride. "You do, you
do" groaned the devoted hubby, mo
matter how little you cook."-Cleve-
land Plaindealer. j.
II thought perhaps you would give
me a lift, sir" he said as he entered the
Office. "You will find the elevator in
the front of the building" replied the
Undergraduates.
Suitor-I called this evening, Miss
Shock, to ask you to be my wife. Miss
Shock-I am sorry to say, my friend,
that you have made a mistake in your
calling.-Richmond Dispatch.
For college honors he had scorched
And on the gridiron roasted,
And though his comrades said "well
DONE"
At banquet he was toasted.
Boston Courier.
She-Oh, yes! The predictions are
In this column headed weather Prob
abilities" He-That's right. If they
called it weather Possibilities" II
wouldn't be so bad.-Puck.
May--I think Kate's refusal will
have a good effect on Charley. Maude
Il hope so, but he's so frightfully slow.
May-I know, but he told me 1t had
cut him to the quick.-New York
Press.
May Begay-And IL you think the
other party is bluffing, of course you
bet higher? Jack Potts-Well, that is
the usual course, but I've found that
that is generally good time to drop
out-Puck.
Fuddy-Yes, I know; but has Plod-
der really written anything of value?
Duddy-Of value? Decidedly yes. He
showed me one article alone on which
he had spent at least So in postage
Boston Transcript.
"Oh," she moaned, ito think that
should have come to this" But there
was no help for It. Her companion,
WHO udu DEOuSnt hci thCIC, huu =
friend in the oratorial contest, and he
was near the last Of the list.-Indianap-
oils Journal.
Landlady-Then you would like to be
called at eight, sir? New Ledger with
retiring allowance)-Well, no; not ex-
actly called. don't you know. But the
girl might mention the time, then,
quietly-very quietly, In case should
be asleep.-Fun.
Charitable Old Lady Ito little beggar-
girD--There's some bread for you. It's
day or two old, but you can tell your
mother to take three or four fresh eggs,
a quart of milk, cup Of sugar, some
good butter, and half grated nutmeg.
and she can make very excellent pud-
ding Of it.-Dublin Times.
"Yes," said the retired army officer,
ST can recall two occasions when was
terribly frightened" "Oh," exclaimed
the romantic young lady, 40 tell me
about them. I suppose 1t happened
when you were fighting the Indians"
"No," he replied; lone time was when
I was married, and the other time was
when we had our baby christened."-
Cleveland Leader. 49,
It was an hour past midnight, and
Mr.. Binns was fumbling about in the
hall and niumbiIng angrily to himseis.
sWhat's the matterY' called out Mrs.
A. N a. ~