The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-05-26

NIT. Jones planCeO IeTuelo
and, being a prudent man, kept two
bulldogs to guard the crop. 1t was
known in the neighborhood that Mr..
Jones kept these dogs, for he had
been careful not only to advertise
that fact, but laid great stress on the
fierce tempers of the CANNES, having
accepted every challenge Of a dog
fight that cam his way, and in all
instances came forth with flying col
ors. Every visitor to the Jones
ranch, having in mind the dogs, was
careful to stop at the front gate and
''holler'' for admission.
One day a commission man came
down to buy Jones melon crop, The
big flock Of turkeys was scratching
near by. The commission mar open
ed his mouth and yelled, "Hello,
there p This surprised the turkeys,
which gave n grand concentrated
"Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble.
The gobble drowned the call, so the
man yelled again
"Eello, there |"
"Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."
This made the man mad, but he was
a courageous commission man, and he
filed his lungs fuller and shouted
louder:
"He..o, there J.
This call excited the turkeys, which
echoed his call with another "Gobble,
gobble, gobble, gobblc, gobblc."
There they had it up and down,
first the man and then the turkeys,
until the man was as red in the face
as a turkey gobbler, his forehead was
reeking with perspiration, and his
tongue hung out of his mouth.
Finally he lost his voice. aud, out
of sheer exhaustion, drew his pistol
and fred it into the air six times in
succession.
Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang
Afterward he became sorry that he
did this, for the noise excited the
bulldogs, which came forth from their
kennels with a fierce BOW, wow,
wowP'
They leaped the fence, tore the
seat out of the mans trousers and
chased him up a black jack oak pretty
lively.
This was at 10 o'clock. Mr.. Jones
at that time was down in the grove
blowing. Mrs. Jones was over at a
%neigbbor's discussing babies and tur-
keys.
The two dogs dug two cool holes at
the foot of the black jack and waited
patiently for the man to come down,
but for some reason or other he
wouldn't. Of course the man used
very bad language, which got to be
worse and worse as the hot sun bis
tered his face and the rough bark on
the black jack limb found a point Of
vantage on his south side. It was
then that the man was exceedingly
sorry that he had not saved four car
tridges. two for the two dogs, y for
Mr.. Jones and one for Mrs. Jones.
Every now and then the dogs would
curl around to a more comfortable
place, during which operation they
would glance upward and bark aDgrily:
"Bow wow"
This was always echoed by the tur-
keys in a chorus of ''Gobble, gobble,
gobble T. with a rising infection on
s'gobble" No. l.
This made the man - mad.
That's the only way to express it, but
it has the merit of being true.
About IL o'clock Mrs. Jones re-
turned, and, seeing the commission
man in the tree, could not restrain
herself, but laughed. She called the
dogs off, and, while the poor chap slid
down on the opposite side, she apollo
gized to him most profusely, but dur.
ing the whole proceeding exasperated
the commission man more and more
by smiling as her thoughts required
to his ridiculous predicament.
She was a dainty little bit of hui
mainly and he could not quarrel with
her, but this made him madden.
They reached the house finally, the
man being very careful to seek a dark
corner in the parlor. There she en-
tertained him enthusiastically for an
uncomfortable half hour, for the man
was afraid to move, and the cold per-
%spiration poured from his brow. He
wanted to go mighty bad, but he
couldn't. He could come all right,
but not go.
Finally he took the bull by the
horns, as it were, and exclaimed
"Madam, would you be so kind as to
lend me a pair Of your husband
trousers 2"
This request opened Mrs. Jones
eyes to the true state of affairs, and
she replied: "Why, certainly ; just
walk right upstairs" but he wouldn't
walk.
Mrs. Jones, however, brought her
husbands best trousers, closed the
doors behind her and went upstairs to
stuff a handkerchief in her mouth.
Dir. Jones was a pudgy little man,
and the commission agent was tall
and slender. However, he wore the
trousers, looking a triAe odd, il is
true, but we will let that pass.
He straightWay went out into the
grove and cussed Jones and his bull
dogs and Mrs. Jones turkeys until
the atmosphere was lurid.
Jones was very much astonished
and grieved finally, for the commits.
sion man wound up by shaking his
fist in his face and exclaimed
"God CAST you, you blankety blank,
blank, blank, son of a seacock. |
came out here to buy your damn mel:
ons, but I want to tell you now and