The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1897-07-02
ulle Nerala and Irlvs
lie Says He Can Ride, But Not That Rr
Does,


which the humorist was formerly rs,
sociutrd. dcnicG the rumor, and Bob
c>ntirmrs the denial in the following
letter to the editor:
Bryn Muwr, Pa, Juno II, 1891
My Dear Waite: Like tho truc
friend and loyal comrado you ever
were. You do right to protest against
my burial prior to ,hr autopsy.
am indeed very much alive Not
only SO, haven't been dead oven n
little bit. Not oucr. Could have
been, had wanted to br. tould bc
t Bnt | dul't want. Maybe |
ought to hr, even now But, a. We
make weekly confession "wc ha>"
left unLuur those things which We
ought to have donr.'
Possibly the rnmor that | have
Gonc dead grew ont of the fact that
| have learned. NOrt lam lcarniuT."
Learueu ia one lesson. All hy my
self
Went ont in the moonlight last
Friday night to learn, having first
locked my family in the hons" nnd
forbade them to look ont of the win
dows. Led my bicyclo ont on tn"
turnpike the Bryn Mnwr pixies ar"
bron,lrr than the way to destruction,
twice rs smooth aud much cleaner
It's II young hicyclc--a colt foalrd
in 81 WoulL give tho namc but
for tn" fact that had to pay for tho
Wheel Will only say, therefore, in
accOruancc with the ethics OF Our
profession, that it is NOT The whccl
anybody says il is.
held him by the withrrs right in
the middle Of the road, anI mounted
without assistance.
| dsmountcd in the same Jude.
penurnt manner.
Got on again and proceeded to
break him to saddle.
Did ride the first time?
We'll, say!
People had told mc--Iiura OF all
ages and both srXrs-- that couldn't
fall if, when [ felt that was fall
ing, | would stick out my foot.
l stuck out both feet and both
hands and fell on my head.
l foil on ono side OF that diabolicnl
wheel and then on the other: | foil
on both sides at once; i fell on top
of it and underneath it, and mudc
"dog falls' with it. fell between
the whccls. fell hchind tho hind
wheel and before the front ono at
tho same tim, and don't know yet
how | did it. | fell and thrust both
my legs through the spokcs Of ono
wheel. met terrified mln in
buggy and drove him clear off the
pike through Whcrlrr's hodge, aud
| don't think he has come back vet.
Evrry time | fell | slapped the
palms Of my rnw, swollrn, thrnbhinM
hand ON the hard "inclustir' pike,
except the time | f. II "n my head
fell harder and with greater
variety Of landing than any man
could fail unless he dropped ont Of Il
balloon and hit in a load Of furniturr
| lost my coniidence, my patience, my
tcmpcr, my clamps, lamp, bell, and
reputation. | hrok" one pedal, ihr
saddle, and the oiuinuuro against
lon,l, boistrruua and abusive Ian
Euagc a! night. ran into every
thing in sight except tn" midLlr of
the road. sat down on everything
in the township except the saddle
] scorchcd in Il circuit not l1 feet in
circumference until You c.dld smell
birthstone. made more revolutions
than a South American republic, and
didn't get 10 feet away from where
| started. | haven't boon SO mau.ed
and abraded, SO thumprl and beaten,
SO trampled upon and pounded, SO
bruised and scratched since [ left
the army, But | can ride.
| don't say that | "do." But
"can."
Do | consider "biking" good for
the health?
For tho health of some people,
DO. ! don't see how physician can
bring up his family unless his chill
dren have something to eat
II a I