The times., 1897-05-02
THERE WAS NO DUEL.

|
gated in the hotel office for smoke, and
presently the landlord came among US TO
| say:
| Gentlemen, we have a fire eater in this
town named Col. Sebastian He has several
| peculiar theories OF his own, and wish TO
| pest you in advance. He Is very strong in
his talk and should you differ with him he
| will challenge you to duel. The colonel
is dead shot, and l hope you'll take a
friendly Tip and not engage in discussion.
| Let him have his own way and never mind
| what he says
The colonel had never killed any one yet,
but that he stood ready TO do so IL his
| opinions were disputed the landlord felt
| dead certain, and SO we agreed to agree
with the colonelif he came mall but one.
The exception was the ,aliest and the most
humble looking man among the guests.
No one knew that he had made up his mind
to oppose the colonel, and when the latter
entered half an hour later, he picked him
ont of the crowd as Ia good man to go for
He got down alongside of him, and after
bit turned on him with:
Perhaps you have not been informed
that ain the originator OF the idea that
ali men were once animals of some sort,
and that perfection has only been reach he'd
after many centuries OF time?'
"No, sir, / haven't was the prompt
reply.
But am, sab, and whatdo you think of
the idea?"
"What idea?'
why, the one just stated I think yo'
heard me, sah-I think yo' did,
son, l remember. We'll, don't train
with that crowd, thank heaveni'
whats that, sahl' exclaimed the colo
mel as he Strengthened up.
II said l was glad didn'. train with
that crowd -
Crowd, sab, crowd Do you refer to "a
man having great idea as .crowd'?''
Il do wouldn't be found dead along
side OF man who had an idea OF that
sort How man of your seeming intelli-
gence can"
"sahi Do yo' know What yo' ar 'sayingi'
interrupted the colonel.
II do
And that your language is personally
offensive, sah-personally offensiye?"
I'm sorry you belong 10 the crowd who
furnishes great ideas
Crowd, sab, Why, yo' have grossly in
suited me, and must at once apologize or
accept a challenger
Bring on your challenge, colonel
'Then yo' Will fight me, sah?'
Certainly. Just name time, place and
weapons. By the way, 1 want to leave
in the morning. Can't we light i'll the
biiliard-room-out in the. yard up in my
room? No use waiting until tomorrow y
And yo1l fight me, sah?n gasped the
colonel
with the greatest of pleasure, and I'll
bet a thousand dollars to shilling kill
you. Where can we get swords, rifles,
pistols, or Bowie knives? i am just aching
to fight you"
'Yo'-yo' won't apologize?"
'No, sir; neverl My object is to kill you
and get a theorist off the face of the
earth. Hurry up, or ] may not be able to
hold myself
The colonel was on his feet, hut he drew
himself up, settled his hat on his head, and
his face was as white as flour, and his
voice tremiled, as he said;
"Sah, L am a fighter and dead shot, sab,
but as this is my birthday, sab, and don't
want to stain it with blood, overlook
your incorporate Language and will not kill
you, sah!''
And with that he strobe swiftly out Of
the hotel and was seen no more, and the
little man:
"Stav here month IL you can, and there
willben no bill topayl I've knownthe colonel
for six years, and / thought he ate fire
instead of cottonl''