The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-03-28
A MISERABLE WIFE,

Eyes, professor, am afraid shall
aIavo to rent or sell the farm; my wife
is SO miserable. I cannot carry it Oh
without hiring, and hiring cats ND all
the profits ~
looked at tho speaker adniringly
He was about 80 years old, and as TO-
bust as IL man of 30 His whiskers were
neatly trimmed, showing Il full, red
check. He wore Il jaunty hat and natty
cutaway coat, and below his vest hung
single fob and heavy gold seal. was
proud of him. He was such II perfect
specimen of II New York gentleman
from the rural districts that / wanted
to imprint his picture OH my memory
so your wife is miserable?''
Eyes. Kinder dropping, with dry
cough and no ambition. She just kinder
drags around the house and looks so
peaked and scrawny it gives me the
blues. 1t does, swan"
Naturally weakly, wasn't shc:"
Shell Oh, no. When married her,
she was the smartest girl OH the creek
She used to work for my father, and
tho way she made the work stand around
took my eye. She was IL poor girl and
her industry got her rich husband"
Here lie took out gold watch, looked
ut the time, put it back and adjusted
the silk fob OH the front of his nicely
fitting trousers.
$50 she did we'll, getting married OH
account of her industry?'
why, of course. She was getting
only 81. 90 II week, and she became mis-
tress of farm
Excuse me, but how much are YOU
worth now-contidentially, you know?
l am Il scientific man and will never
use such facts to your injury with the
assessor. -
well, professor, Icould crowd 800
600 pretty hard
THAT is good. How long have you
been marricd:'
Thirty years next Fourth of July.
We went down to Albany Oh Il little
teeter, and proposed the match and
Jane was willing"
How much do you suppose you have
made i'll these 30 year,
'Hum--uhl-lemme see L got the
Davis farm the first ten years, then
run i'll debt for tho Simmons place, got
war prices for my cheese and squared
up both places. Well l think / have
cleared up $50, 700 since we spliced."
Every good indeed. And your wife
has been great help all this time?''
ooh, you bet! She was RATHER!
She took care,of her baby and the milk
from 90 cows. tell you she made the
tinwarc fiop Why, we have had four
children, and she never had Il hired girl
over six months i'll that time"
Splendid, and you have cleared $780,
600 i'll that timer
Yes, easy"
''Now, how much has your wife
madc?'
"She? Why, durn it, professor, she is
my wife"
Il know it. But what has she made?
You say she waspoor when you married
her Now, what has She mude?'
Why, you beat all Why, she is my
wife, and we own il all together -
DO YOU: Then She cun draw on your
bank account: Then she has Il horse and
carriage when size wants them? Then
she has Il servant girl when she wants
one? Then aEe rides out for her health.
aud has :; watch and gold Chain us you
do? Is that so:''
'ProicSSor, you must be crazy. No
body's wife Is boss IN Uat shape Who
ever heard If s;,lcll Il thing
Now, lCoi, here. You say she did
well i'll marrying RICH, aud | cannot see
it. If she w::s getting 81 30 per wcel,
whon you married her AID had saved
her wages, She would have had BON
SO, 500. IF she had Invested it, she
would have had $5,GC0 Nov you tel!
me she is broken down, used MP ana
miserable, ard locks so badly she makes
you sick, aud she has no money, no help
aud will probably get nothing bus a
scotch granite tombstone when She
dies.
Professor. if You was Il youngc,.
man. l wculd lick you quickern Il
spring lamb can jump IL thistle. "
What for? I am stating this casc
fairly, am not? Your wife is 10 Longer
young. She is no longer handsome. Her
hands arc as hard as Il local editors
cheek, and she has stopped over u mil;
can until she has y hump ca her bac!.
like u pcddlcr. "
shut up, viii you?''
she has raised four children. Cae
: Of them liz ut college. One is taking ma
sic lessons in Boston. The other two aie
teaching schocl. She is at homo alo::e.