New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-10-13
Pictorial Pain-killei-.

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stPuck'' is what the erstwhile Artemus
Ward would call .syewmerous' paper,
and is published solely for the beneft of
bad BARRIERS. When you take your. seat
In the butchers SHAMELESS he provides you
with copy Of 'sPuck" because its jokes
are SO excruciatingly painful that if he
pulled your piligerous annex out with a
stump extractor and rubbed aqua-fortis
into your face with bath blick, the
physical i'll would be forgotten il the.
mental agony. The last time | was
shaved the razor pulled SO dreadfully
that sought refugein this pictorial pain
killers editorial page. then learned,
much to my surprise, that the rise in the
price of wheat had killed the silver
cause; also that W. J. Bryan had said,
in that pose Of easy omniscience for
which he became remarkable, that "a
bushel of wheat and an ounce Of silver
were ordained by nature to be equal each
to the other'-swheat cannot rise unless
silver rises" If w. J. Bryan said that,
even in his salad days, he's hopeless
damphool, unfit to be poundmaster, much
less president; but I'll pay two bits for
incontestable evidence that he ever made
such an idlotic remark. Every man
VINO knows as much about political
economy as a terrapin does of the Tai
mud is we'll aware that rise in the price
of one commodity simultaneous with the
decline in price of another commodity
has nothing whatever to do with the
currency question: Those who cackle
about rise in wheat synchronous.
ly with the fall of silver make
avery indecent exposure of their own
ignorance. 1t had Il ten-year-old boy
who was such hopeless idiot I'd drown
him as not worth honest grub, then seek
a surgeon and make sure that I'd never
again infict the world with progeny
cursed with cretinism. Wheat went up
and silver down, as Mr.. Bryan recently
explained to the satisfaction of every
man possessing al ounce of brains, SIM
ply because the demand for the one was
Increased by foreign crop failures, the
demand for the other decreased by Anglo
Cleveland skullduggery. CLAW of sup
ply and demand" bawls Puck and all the
other Journalistic puppets of an impu-
dent plutocracy. You miserable little
heccius dicsiu, do you expect to de-
celve an Intelligent people with that
kind of howl while the trade in wheat is
left untramme!ed and the demand for
silver arbitrarily limited by law? Sup
pose that while the worlds wheat fields
were producing abundantly, the leading
nations should prohibit their people pur-
chasing any more of that cereal for
food consumption; would any macro.,
cephalus donkey ascribe the decline
in the price of wheat to ''the I'M
mutable law of supply and demand?"
When silver is placed on an equality
with all other commodities; when the
people are permitted to freely employ it
as they please; then will'the natural law
of supply and demand apply to the
white metal, and New York editors cease
to iabber financial nonsense with the
stupid persistence of poll-parrot prais-
ing its own personal pulchritude. The
editor of Puck should avoid political
economy as u subject trlfe too large
for the knot on the end of his neck,
and confine himself to his thread bare
speciality, that of belittleing the Jews
with his watery wit and artribilarious
art. The only funny thing find in his
paper is its solemn ''notice to publish
ers,, that all its raucous rot is copyright
ed, that Infringement will be promptly
and vigorously prosecuted" The editor
who would steal from "Puck" would
walk thro' Stringfellsw's fruit farm to
Glib wilted cabbage leaf from blind
cow.-W.C. Brann in Brann's Iconoclast
y The Churches as Educators.
|H By Lady Cook.
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