Pleasantville weekly press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1890-1911, 1897-09-15
Letter from Henfarmer.
SwAMP-EDGE-SLOPE,
S-PINT-ON -GREAT-BAY

DIV OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES,
LEEDEs-PINT-oN-THE-GREAT-BAY
September IL, 1897.
So Uriah's got me up tree
Ha ha . no ! ho Well that
tree is a splendid refuge, to say the
least. It's dizzy summit is far out of
gunshOt, and the Bryanite that
tries to climb up to reach me, will
never survive the shower Of sharp
pine cones that will greet him.
Absalom and Clark will pass up
provisions at stated intervals, while
| hurl pine burrs far and wide. And
look sharp. all We that come within
their range, for someone's head will
crack, | know. But say, Mr. Editor,
in that crows nest | found two
lively youngsters OF belated hatch,
Mr.. Shreve and | will divide our
rations with them until after the
election OF 1900, when we will
and Hall. They 1.-THE crOws-nOt
the mem will make a nice stew by
that time.
Mr.. Editor, you no doubt remem-
Der those fabulous prices" men
toned in the issue Of July 18th, /
said that we are buying-"sugar at
40 per cent Of the old price calico at
80; muslins at 80, etc." 30 what ?
60 what Per cent of course. When
a gentlemen of Uriah's scholarship
fails to understand such simple
ellipses as these, a weakening Of the
mental faculties is indicated. The
fact is he has not yet fully recovered
from the dazed condition resulting
from our imprOmptu encounter.
The myriad stars OF heaven danced
before his eyes as a solid chunk of
sound money argument, which he
thought was an internal soap box"
found vulnerable spot in his
Uranium and knocked it's way in.
The fields and forests whirled before
his misty vision, but he thought it
was the whirling of lis rrr~7 in
pursuit Of the Henfarme1. me
successive explosions were only
free silver fallacies collapsing, and
the familiar fragrance was the
OdOr Of birthstone from the Pennsyl-
vania POpOcratic Convention. The
ringing in his ears he mistook for
wedding chimes, for there has been
no wedding in the palace of
Absalom the tax collector. The
clock story, too, is all wrong,
for the time. for discussion is not
ended until political fallacies are all
buried and forgotten. / won't
dissipate that true story, for Bro.
Shreve and myself want to keep
those crows and fatten them nicely
for our brothers of the Times-DemO-
crat.
Please notice that I've paid no
attention to Uriah's silver argument,
| thought perhaps he would allow
me a much-needed rest until Thurs
day evening, Oct. II. on which
occasion we are to fight it out at the
Red Mems Fair at Leedses Pint.
We hope to nave large and ap-
preciative audience. Carson City
never saw such sport as may be
witnessed then. Twill be a death
struggle between two gladiators
terribly in earnest. Next morning
either the ducklings or the bidCies
will be orphans, and the weary
readers Of the PRESS will De at rest.
But the vanquished will die happy in
the thought that from his ashes.
PhPniN-like, a beneficial lodge will
spread her wings and grandly soar
again on her heavenly mission Of re
lief to suffering humanity.
O my brother, did we ever dream
'twould come to this? Why did /
not know the nature of d silver
advocate. | merely mentioned the
Golden City, to VI i'll Bryan's
rise. humanity's fd, hopes We're
trained. That litt.- word provoked
your ire, and dispelled the sweetness
of our intercourse. We have fought
and bled and now we die, victims to
the silver craze. Again and again
have | tried to withdraw from your
damphoolishness, but | could not.
Your fingers grasped my coat button
and held me fast, regardless Of
weather, sleep or refreshments, while
you preached free silver, until at last
in desperation ! tried to cut the
button off and cut your fingers too.
But not until you sprung that fairy
tale about the discovery Of klondyke
gold being a Mckinley scheme to
bolster up confidence, did | realize
my danger; but now | know it's do
or die and in that tree, breathing the
pure air Of heaven and inhaling the
life-giving odor OF pine, | am recupey
ating for the final struggle. s-
Beriah Henfarner.