davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01
Much Worse.

Mr.. Hiland-What are you making so
much fuss about, Halketf Have you had
tooth pulledF
Mr.. Halket-No, worse than that,
Hiland.
What?
A man came in and pulled my leg.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01
so Deuced English.

And now the Hanglomaniacs have
broken loose again;
OF course its down at Newport where
they live by London time;
They want a fine Victoria Park and
Albert All, and then, ~
If but the Prince will visit them twill
be 80 jolly prime.
But if they want to celebrate the
Jubilee in style,
We recommend these maniacs to jump
into the sea;
The waves are just, the same, you know
as circle Albion's Isle,
And as they sink forever they'll bt
happy. So will we!
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01
Lively DeadIleAds.

Fogg thinks that the Turks are a
stingy lot. In their travels in the rea,
of the Greek army they demanded pass
at every station; and what's more, they
got it
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01

Trans. Mississippi Commercial Con-
gress Utah Pioneer Jubilee, Salt
Lake, Utah.
For the above occasion the Santa Fe
will place on sale tickets to Salt Lake,
Utah, and return at one fare ($3l.15) for
the round trip, dates of sale, July IL, IL,
16, II and Is. Final return limit, 80 days
from date of sale. Gall on agents for
particulars. H. 8. LuTz, Agent,
Santa Fe, N. M.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01
Tennessee Centennial and lntcrna.
tional Exposition, Nashville,
Tenn, May 1 to OctO-

For the above occasion the Santa Fe
route has placed on sale tickets to Nash
vile and return at rate of $6715; these
tickets will be on sale daily until October
Is, 1897, good to return until November,
z, 1897. For particulars call on agents of
the Santa Fe route.
H. s. LuTz, Agent,
W. j. BLACK, G. P. A. Santa Fe, N. NJ.
Topeka, Kas.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01
Travelling Sense.

The Burlington Route holds the Worlds
record for long distance fast running-1025
miles in l047 mnutes-made without spe-
cial preparations.
On road where such a feat is possible, it
stands to reason that high standard is main
tanned
Two trains daily, Denver to all points east
Omaha, Peoria, Chicago, Kansas City, st.
Louis.
Tickets and fullinformation at all d. & R.
q. and Col. Mid. ticket offices.
c. w VALLERY, General Agent,
1899 18th Street, Denver, Col.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01
A Man of Nerve.

First Passenger-Would you-ah-
lend me your spectacles a moment,
please?
Second Passenger-Certainly, sir.
First Passenger-Ah-thank you.
Now, as you cannot see to read your pa
per, would you mind letting me have it,
too, please?-New York Sunday World.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01

Uncle Dick-Ah, yes, cricket is fine
game, no doubt-a very fine game But
football, now-that's the game to make
your hair curl!
Miss Dulcie (meditatively)--Do you
play football much, uncle?-Punch.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01

National Educational Association
Meeting, Milwaukee, Wis July
9th and 9th, 1897.
For the above occasion the Santa Fe
route will sell tickets to Milwaukee and re-
turn at $45.70 for the round trip, dates
of sale July 2, 8 and 4, good to return
July 10, IL and IL, except that tickets de-
posted with the joint agent at Milwaukee
on or before July II, will be extended
until August 81, 1897. For particulars
call on agents of the Santa Fe route.
\ H. 8. LuTz, Agent,
WI. BLACK, g. Pr Santa Fe, N. M,
Topeka, Kas.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-07-01

Shortest line
Denver to Chicago.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18
THE COZiEST TIME.

Oh, Gle ive-oclock chime brings the coEi.
est time
That is found in the whole of the day,
When Larry and Gus and the others of us
Come in from our study or play;
When we push the big chair to the hearth
over there,
And pile the wood higher and higher,
And we make her a space in the very best
place
And mother sits down by the fire.
There's a great deal to say at the close OF
the day,
And so much to talk over with mother:
There's a comical sight or a horrible
plight
Or ball game, or something or other;
And she'll laugh with Larry, and sigh with
Harry,
And smile to our hearts desire
AT triumph won or task well done
When sitting down there by the fire.
Then little shell care for the clothes that
we tear.
Or the havoc we make on her larder:
For the toll and the strife of our every
day life
She will love us a little bit harder;
Then our lady she is, and her knights We
would be,
And her trust doughty deeds will in
spire
For we long then anew to be generous and
true
When mother sits down by the fire.
Martha Burr Banks, in N. Y. Independent
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

EX-President Harrison has written of
"A Day With the President at His Desk
for the March Lddies' Home Journal.
The article is said to be singuary inter
esting in the detail with which it de-
scribes the wearisome routine of the
president. 1t is said that General Har-
rison, in this article, has delivered him
self with great directncss and vigor re-
lative to the annoyances that are visited
upon a chief executive by persistent
office seekers, and he suggests a unique
plan, by which the presidents burdens
in that direction could be greatly ligh-
tened, and he be enable to devote more
attention to more important matters.
A feature of the article that will have a
timely interest to those ambitions to
serve the country under the incoming
administration, describes very fully how
the president makes appointment to Of
flee. "A Day With the President at His
Desk" is unique in being the first time
that the daily life of the president has
been described by one who has filled the
exalted Office. Articles upon the social
and domestic life of the president by
General Harrison will follow in success
sive issues of the JOu1ndi.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

1t is said by some investigative indi-
Tidual that taken the world over three
women wear false teeth to every two
men. 1t would be interesting to know
why this is, if so. More men make
sewers of their mouths with tobacco
drink, ETC., than do women, and as
rule men are more careless of their teeth
than are women, and yet there is good
reason to believe the above assertion.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18
DeceItful Animals

In military stables horses are known
to have pretended to be lame in order
TO avoid military exercise. A chimpan-
zee had been fed on cake when sick:
after his recovery he often feigned
coughing in order to procure dalnties.
Boston Budget.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

Senator Quay is reported to have a
letter written by Mr.. Hanna, before
McKinley's nomination, demanding that
the Pittsburg Iron and Steel Manu-
facturers put up a large sum of money
to be used in McKinley's behalf, and to
have threatened to make it public if the
Mckinley crowd attempt to get too gay
with him. Quay is now in Pennsylvania,
where he went to help his son "Dick"
out in the libel suit which has been
thrown on his shoulders by the publisher
of a Pittsburg paper
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

ing. They have made a success of the
appropriations, but when the people get
a whack at them in the next congression-
al election, they will find how their
excuse has been accepted, Represen-
tatiye Savers, of Texas, who was chair
man of the committee on appropriations
in the last house, made good speech,
attacking the eXtravagance of this con-
gress, while the sundry civil bill was be-
fore the house.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

\ Pennsylvania man has had 10 pay
$4,000 for telling a girl he loved her
and then marrying another girl Now
you can't convince him that there is
any truth in the adage that talk is
cheap.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

1t should be placed to the credit Of
Mr. Cannon, chairman of the house com
mittee on appropriations, that he re-
ported adversely the resolution approp-
Rating $500 for the erection of a stand
for the use of senators and representa-
tives and their families on Inauguration
day, on the ground that senators and
representatives should pay for seats,
just as other people do, if they wish to
sit down to view the inaugural parade.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

Nimrod was a great King as well as
mighty hunter, but his fame has rest,
ell entirely on the latter qualification,
for 1000 years and more "The beaI+ns
o this remark lays in the application
ON it,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

Maryland has fallen into l;ae with
several other states in the matter Of
institutes for the education of t..e farm
ers. The work is to begin this winter
with a Legislative appropriation Of
$4,000, which is regarded as sufficient to
provide for the holding of ono or more
institutes in each county in the state.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

Abraham Lincoln wants the post
mastership at Mound City, Kan, but,
if there is anything in name, he
ought to be n candidate for something
bigger. But, if there is anything in
his name, what is he doing in Kansas?
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

Alabama's governor recommends that
pardons be conditioned upon good be-
havior, the uneXpired portion of the
term of sentence to be served in the
evF"t of subsequent conviction OF
CT
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

Notwithstanding the amendments
made to propitiate the opposition, Sena-
tor Sherman, who WAS in charge of the
arbitration treaty, was compelled to bow
to the inevitable and agree to postpone
further consideration of the treaty until
the next session
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS, as they
cannot reach the seat of the disease.
Catarrh is a blood or constitutional
disease, and in order to cure it you must
take internal remedies Halls Catarrh
Cure is taken internally, and acts direct
ly on the blood and mucous surfaces.
Halls Catarrh Cure is not quack
medicine. 1t was prescribed by one of
the best physicians in this country for
years, and is a regular prescription. 1t
is composed of the best tonics known,
combined with the best blood purifiers,
acting directly on the mucous surfaces.
The perfect combination of the two in
gradients is what produces such wonder
full results in curing catarrh. Send for
testimonials, free.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Props, Toledo, O.
Sold by druggists, price 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-02-18


Mrs. Polly Cloud Graves of Lexington,
KY, celebrated her one hundredth birth
day.
The battleship Texas arrived in Calves
ton after remarkably fast run from New
York.
Bishop Doane of Albany declared that
Mormonism prevails in New York city to
an alarming extent
Cecil Rhodes testified before the parlia-
mentary commission in London that he
did not order the Jameson raid upon the
Transvaal
Alberto Tedeschi, an italian barber, was
strangled after desperate struggle in
his shop, at Mulberry street, New York,
by men who hoped to get his savings.
Three men attempted to rob Henry Ry-
lands and his brother, Thomas H., of a
satchel containing $4,000 at Bridgeport,
Conn. Two of the highwaymen were shot,
one fatally. The other escaped.
United States marshals forced the door
of A. Ellinger & Co. S cloak factory in
Chicago and took possession under an at
tachment. The factory had been closed
under two chattel mortgages and u custo-
dian was in charge.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09
SKETCHES BY M. QUAD
why a Woman Missed the Circus.


While I was stopping for a few days
with tie old man Robinson on the
Cumberland mountains a circus put In
an appeara nee at Ridgewood. Robinson
"~reckoned' he'd sell a coonskin and
go to the show, but his wife seemed to
be left out. AS she was q kind hearted
hostess. l planned TO take her with us
and pay for her ticket; but, knowing the
peculiarities of the people, I thought
best to breach the matter to the hus-
band. / therefore asked if he would
take it amiss if ! bought an extra ticket
for his wife.
Stranger" he replied after a mo-
ment's thought. "that's powerful de-
cent of y~o-powerful decent-but /
kinder reckon yo' hadn't better do it.
The ole m Is a leetle bit queer, yo'
know"
"But l thought she'd like to 60"
"Sartin she would, hTt yo' see, she's
purity hefty on religi'n, a. religi'n and
circuses don't mix. She'd hev to sort
of shake off some Of her religi'n if she
went"
81 see."
"Then she never seen elephants and
oamels and hyenas and the likes Of
them. She might take a likin to 'em,
and she might git mad. If she got mad,
she'd go in to whoop the biggest durn-
ed animal in the drove, and it might
cost me my farm to pay damages.
eyes"
"Then agin," he continued as he
pulled at his ear, "she thinks herself
purity smart. She thinks she kin do
anything anybody else kin, and if she
saw n of them circus fellers turnin a
fipfop and GRIMM over it she'd want
to git right down and beat the trick,
and both of us together couldn't hold
her. Don't yo' see?"
II think I do"
"And lastly she might git to thinkin
over things arter she got home, and if
she got the idea that gwine to that cir
Gus was gwine to keep her out of heaven
when she died she'd git up and riz such
a row around yere that yo' wouldn't
hev any ha'r left and I'd want a doctor
fur six months. AS I said, it's powerful
decent of yo'-powerful decent-but,
takin the matter up hill and down and
all around, 1 reckon we'd better leave
the ole woman home, and we'll 40
down together and see the show and git
drunk and clean out the crowd"
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09

William Waldorf Astor has given
up his American citizenship and
sworn his ALLEGIANCE to Queen Vic
toria. This is not a surprise to the
United States, as he has been a resi-
dent in England for many years only
visiting this country on rare occas-
ions. He isa moral traitor to his
country, a traitor to the principles
set forth by our forefathers. who be-
lieved in equality for all as is set
forth by our democratic form of gov
eminent. Astor, it is rumored, has
found favor in the eyes of the Prince
of Wales. The Princes credit has
been shut off by the Rothchilds for
years and he must have money, so it
is quite natural that there should be
All Asfor- Wales alliance. Which
country has most cause to be paral-
yzed by such an alliance is hard to
say. 1t is rumored that Aston has
no less an ambition than to marry
into the royal family by wedding
the Princess Victoria. What a shock
to Nnglish ideas of caste, for a mem
Der of the royal family to marry into
"plain" people. The English snobs
in this country can't cast reflection
upon American society any longer
by remarking that in America, money
will take a man anywhere. 1t seems
England worships the golden calf
and will sell anything if the price
for is forthcoming.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09

The New York Journal wired the
governors of all the states in the
union as to their opinion in regard
to the recognition of the beligerency
of the Cubans and how many men
in ase Of trouble with Spain, their
state could furnish.
Governor Richards replied that he
was in favor OF recognizing the Cub
ans as beligerents. He placed the
number of men in Montana who were
willing to leave at once in case of
war with Spain at 1000.
"The governor is a very conserva-
tive" said a well known citizen of
Butte to a Herald reporter. "Why I
don't think it would be an exagger-
alton to say that there are twice that
number in Butte alone who would
start for Cuba or any other place
tomorrow to fight or do anything
else.-IIelena Herald.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09
STATE NEWS.

Several southern states are suffer-
ing the effects of a severe storm.
The state militia of Colorado, are
being withdrawn from Leadville.
One thousand coal miners are on
a strike at Sharon, Pa.
Two Chinese vegetable pedlers
are murdered in Butte, the motive
being robbery.
H. A. Neidenhofen a prominent
Butte mar commits suicide at Salt
Lake City.
The production of gold and silver
of the United States for the year
1896, is as follows: gold s57,OOO,OOO
silver 45,465,175 ounces.
The flibustering steamer Commo-
dore goes to the bottom 20 miles off
the coast of Florida. Supposed that
most of the crew went with her.
VIM. A. Hammond, late vice
president of the defunct National
bank of Illinois, commits suicide by
the water route, via Lake Michigan.
A dynamite explosion takes place
aboard the British ship Delta, at
Plymouth harbor, sinking the vessel
with several of her crew.
From June 30, 1895, up to Nov.
30, 1896, the cities of the United
States have contributed to the Cuban
cause 81, 100000, the states outside
of the cities s275,000, foreign coun-
tries sl,229,000.
The first annual report of the
Anaconda Mining Co. show the
profits for the year ending June 30,
1896, to be s4,258,514.70. The to-
expenditures for the year at the
mines were s5,071 ,677.61, and at the
works in Anaconda So
6l6,516.7S, of which amount S1,235,-
0OO was expended for machinery.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09

Governor Smiths message to the
Legislature has a good ring to it and
if carried out will bring about many
needed reforms. To us the main
feature is the advocating of economy
at the present time on account of
the depressed financial conditions
throughout the entire state. The
affairs of state should be conducted
along the same lines as individual
enterprises. The people were never
taxed more than at present and this
in times when taxes are 'sassuminp
the proportions of a mortgage" AT
ter pointing out the many ways to
bring about less expense and more
revenue, he suggests that 100000
be expended on the erection of the
capitol building, instead of $1,000
600. Would it not be we'll to let
the question rest awhile. A year or
two hence will do just as we'll. The
state has gotten along thus far with
out one. What business man is
making any improvements at the
present time. He is quite fortunate
who can keep even.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09
Archbishop Benson as schoolmaster.


Benson's pedagogic methods some
times savored of the Turkish pasha.
He once caned a boy until he con-
fessed what he had not done, and on
another occasion he, in defiance of
the constitution of the school, fog
ged a project secretly. The matter
got round to the sixth form, and a
round robin of remonstrance was
sent. All that Benson said to the
round robin was that it ought to
have been addressed to "the master"
instead of the "head master" but he
never repeated the offense. A cul-
prit whom he threatened to expel
whined out something about my
people" being distressed. Your peo-
pie, sir" roared Benson. Are you
a king that you have peoplea"
Just before the rite of confirma-
ton the boys always went to the
masters lodge for final examina-
ton. Benson used to ask each boy
what his besetting sin was, and it
came to be the fashion to answer
Temper, sir" Once when the sixth
were stumbling sleepily over their
Virgil he got very excited and told
them OF the energy of the Birming-
ham mechanics, while you, the
sons of gentlemen, sit here with lack
luster, o~ysterlike eyes" But "these
flashes on the surface were not he"
and he was a great and good school
master. London Saturday Review.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09

The Hon. E. K. Abbott, editor of
the sprightly NETHART HERALD, left
last week for an extended visit to
the girl he left behind him in the
high toned and ,supercilious east.
We hope from the bottom of our
raw-hide shoes hat Mr.. Abbott may
have one of those hog-killing times
with his d-headed Ohio affinity
that you read about in-the cornfeld
Nebraska newspapers. A man in
this deceitful bubble--calld a world
never needs but one kick in the
heart from n of these-girl afin-
tiles. 1t is-quite sufficient to keep
his love valves working-the balance
of his days.-The Whole Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09
Senator Wolcott, chairman of tn

Senator Wolcott, chairman of the
Senate committee on the restoration
of silver by international agreement,
has sailed for Europe where he goes
to confer with the leading bimetall-
lists of foreign countries, in order to
promote an international conference.
All friends of silver will await with
interest the outcome of his mission.
Something will have to be done for
silver, and the leaders in the repub-
llcan party are aware of that fact and
no doubt an honest effort will be
made for its restoration by an inter
national agreement. The sooner
this is brought about the better it
will be for the entire world, and to
delay or obstruct any honest effort
would be a crime against humanity.
We should not claim that an i~nterna-
tional agreement is impossible but
lend our aid and assist the movement
with all our energies and if it should
end in failure then the silver forces
will have a clear road in 1900 with
international bimetallism and the
tariff question disposed of. If silver
can be restored before 1900 so much
the better.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09

The Butte foot ball eleven SUI fered
defeat at the hands Of the Olympic's
of California.
The total vote of all states on the
presidential election was 1855, 1852.
Mckinley received 7,101, 40l, Bryan
6,470,656, Palmer 1875, 9 lowering
pro, 130,560; Bentley national, a.
1892: Macheete socialist, 1889.
McKinley's plurality is 63O, 742,
majority 316.399.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-09
Time Was No Object.

l stopped at the crossroad store about
. O'Clock in the morning to inquire my
way, and in front of the store sat two
men, who were busy talking. One of
them had an old silver watch, and the
other owned the poor old mule hitched
to a post. They had come together TO
make a trade and had been talking for
an hour, and as I rode off one of them
said:
"1ll trade yo' even up, Jim, and if
that don't hit yo' it's no use to talk fur
der" III
II can't do it, Tom," replied the
other. "That yere mewl is with two
SIGH watches"
1t was dark when I returned, and
there sat the same two men, and there
stood the same old mule. They were
talking trade as vigorously as ever, and
as l rode away the man with the watch
was saying:
TITS even up or nothin, Jim, iist as
I told yo' befo'."
"Tom, I can't do it-can't possibly
do it." replied the other.
Along toward night next day 1 rode
over to the same store ON an errand for
Mrs. Williams, and there sat the very
same two men. I couldn't see that they
had moved by an inch. They weren't
saying a word, however. On the con-
trary, both had their legs swinging
over the edge of the platform, their
chins in their hands, and were looking
down on the ground. saw the old mule
lying dead on the ground, and between
the two men lay the watch. 1t had
stopped dead still, and both hands were
off the face.
"Do you know that your mule is
dead?' I asked Of the owner of the ami
NAL.
"Of c~o'se." he replied.
And your old watch has gone to
wreck?' I said to the other.
eyes, sah."
"Did you sit here all night?"
1--WE did," they answered in chorus.
"And if the mule is dead and the
watch busted you can't trader"
"Oh, that trade was off at midnight
last night" said the owner of the
watch, land what we are dickerin
about now is that yere saddle again my
dawg. Is it even up, Jim?"
Cant see it, Tom. That yere saddle
is with two dawgs like yo'rs."
"Shoo! I'll sot yere three days and
nights fust."
"Huhi I'm good fur a week."
-Four days later l met the man with
thT watch and asked him how the affair
came out.
"Oh, l got the saddle fur the dawg,"
he cheerfully replied.
"Then he gave IMP"
"Waal, he didn't 'zactly give in, but
on the third night he fell asleep, and
l took the saddi. and left the dawg tied
to the post and made tracks fur hum"