The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1897-04-23


IF ! KNEW.
If knew the box where the smiles are kept,
No matter how large the key
Or strong the bolt, would try so hard
Twould open, know, for me,
Then over the land and the sea, broadcast
I'd scatter the smiles to play,
That the chidren's faces might hold them fast
Fer many and many day.
If knew box that was large enough
To hold al the frowns meet,
would like to gather them every one,
From nursery, school and street,
Then. folding and holding, I'd pack them in
And turning the monster key,
I'd hire giant to drop the box
To the depths Of the deep, deep sea.
Boston Transcript
From the Gaapsi0R.
An itching palm is the politicians
long suit.
The perfect man or woman has no
business On earth.
Paradoxial as it may seem, the full
man hath a vacant look.
The scientists say that Kansas is the
bed of an ancient ocean.
A. NJ. Breese is the new command
ant at the state soldiers home
A little learning is dangerous thing
when experimenting with bicycle.
Nursing an imaginary wrong has
sent many man to an insane asylum.
Tuesday was Arbor day in Kansas,
end good many inoipient forests
resulted.
The Kansas man who fired long
range gun at an sirship brought down
wild goose.
A daring Jewell county man has had
the courage to marry widow with
seven children.
j. B, Allen, of Fairhayen, VT, receiv-
ed the first postmaster's commission
signed by Mckinley.
A teetotaleF recently died of deiirum
tremens in England. Temperance
drinks did the business.
One hundred and twenty-five years
ago Monday the first battle of the Rev
dictionary war was fOught-that of
Lexington.
According to State Superintendent
Stryker Sherman county owes the state
school fund 8455.24, and he wants the
county to settle.
Says Becky Sharp to her young lady
constituency: "If nice young man
squeeze thy hand, give him the other
one, also" Becky knows.
The Missouri state agricultural col
lege has been experimenting with Tex
as fever and finds that the disease is
spread by the Texas grub.
Frank Stinson, county attorney of
Phillips county, was last week acquitted
of the charge of statutory rape, which
had been fled against him.
The Kansas man who had waited a
reasonable time for the drunk to come
investigated and found he had drank
aqua fOrtis instead of alcohol.
1t costs 800 for the privilege of sell
ing cigaretts at Mankato, This is the
some town that made singing "After
the Ball" Enable offense, some years
ago.
The American armor plate makers
refuse to furnish the United States
government plate for $500 per ton, but
will take contracts from Russia for
that price
Lots of women look upon lent as a
time when they can clean house and
point to the deniais of the season to
shut off a roar from the lord of the
household.
Senator Baker has never taken up
much space in the Congressional
Record, but his Endorsement of a post
Office petition is said to be as good as a
commission.
Nissan street, Cleveland. has been
re,ehristened Glendale avenue at the
request Of the young ladies of that
street, who blushed every time anyone
asked their address.
Here's another idol smashed A Brit
ish naval writer says that neither Casa
blanca nor his father persisted on the
burning ship, but were drowned while
swimming for the boats.
South Carolina furnishes Kansas a