Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1897-12-04
huMOR OF THE DAY.

Willie Papa, what's the Grea
Divide:'" Pa-."It comes after a,
election. Chicago News.
She -"This fiat is so cold" He
"Well. how can You expect a fire.pr
fiat to be warm?"-Truth.
Lancelot-"Poets are born, moi
made" Maud Sharpe-"I know.
wasn't blaming You. Tit Bits.
He--"She asked ME what color hair
I liked best" She" -"That's just like
Maud. She is always so anxious to
please. Judy.
Little Elmer-"Pa, what does re-
quiescat III pace mean?' Prof. Broad.
head" Please stay dead is near
enough. Puck.
Brown-"Tt makes me tired to hear
people call it the Klondike fever. :"
Yeast-"What would you call it?"
"The Klondike chill
I'm anxious to meet Mr.. Hobbey;
they say he talks Just like book. I"
"Yes; he does-just like Il blank book.'
Detroit Free Press.
Tommy" said the teacher, "what
is meant by nutritious food?" Some.
thing that amt got no taste to it," re.
piled Tommy Tit Bits.
He-.''T am willing to admit l was
wrong" She--''I expect you to do
more than that. You must admit
that was right Puck
\. Peck My wife hasn't spoken a
cross word to me for two weeks, :"
Betterhaws---"Whe is she coming
back?" indianapolis journal.
.Dar ain no wuss victim oh mis-.
placed confidence" said Uncle Eben,
'.dan de man who gifts ter thinkin he
knows ev'rything. - Washington Star.
Irascible Englishman--"Aw, look
here you needn't poke fnna at Punch"
Amiable American-'Why not? It's
the very thing it lacks. Brooklyn
Life.
Teacher-'.What is the difference
between a fixed star and any other
starr" Pupil-''It depends good
deal upon the advance agent. '--Bos-
ton Transcript.
Rags Say. do yon believe that
story of the goose laying golden
egg?" Jaggs-''Well, it wonld be just
like goose to do such foolish thing"
Chicago News.
"What n baastly cold you've got,
Sam! Where did you get it?' Its
not cold: it's hay fever. Igot it dane
ing with that grass widow the other
night. Punch.
1T must take great nerve to charge
a battery" "Oh, not SO much" said
the ex-umpire. "I've put fines on the
r;t"hAr and natohAr many a time. -
Indianapolis Journal.
Jill-"Is Gill good Judge of
cigars?' Bill think he must be.
He had two last night, and he gave
me one. He must have kept the best
one. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Raggs-"All this talk about the world
coming to an end is rank nonsense.
Jaggs-"Why is it?" Raggs-"How
can anything round come to an end,
I'd like to know!''-Chicago News.
mo, can't give you a job. I've as
many hands now rs I can find work
for" "Well, that needn't stand in
your way, guv'nor. The little I'd do
wouldn't make no difference. Tit
Bits.
Mamma-"B Bessie. why don't you
wash the dishes? 1t is easier to do
thing than to sit and think about it. :"
Bessie-"Well. mamma. you wash the
dishes and I'll sit and think about it. y
-Browning's Monthly.
'No man can know everything" said
the high.minded youth. Between
you and me-" replied Senator Sorg-
hum, "that's fact. But there's no ex-
cuse for mans making the mistake
of owning up to it. Washington Star.
Smith-"Your friend Wheeler is a
crank on punctuality, isn'the?" Brown
-"I should say he is. Why, he even
carries his watch in the rear pocket Of
his trousers, just to prevent his ever
being behind time. ."-Chicago. News.