The times., 1897-07-18
'pOSSUM SKETCHES.


We had been talking about the moon
sinners and their ways tand tricks to bea.
the revenue officers, hen Zeb White
turned Oh me with smile and said:
''0f co'se yo' know that | used to run
a stu up yere, and fur two or three Vars
them revenou fellers down at Knoxville
wanted to see lie powerful bad. They was
cute as foxes, but they never did get the
best of me. was just thinkin OF the feller
who cum up yere with the new sort o
religun
asked him to relate the crcums tances,
aud after softly closing the kitchen door
wherein Mrs. White was melting tallow
and dipping candles, ne resumed:
"Yo know them reyenoo fellers never
gohuntin' fur stiil at random. They allus
send spy up yere, and arter he has nosed
around aud found sunthin' ne sends 'em
word. That's the reason we ar allus SO shy
of peddlers and other strangers. l had my
still in that big rayine we was lookin at
tother day, and "A stranger might hev
Z looked fur Is fur month and never got
within forty rods oft Them revenoofe Hers
sent up man To look fur coal and iron, but
We soon got onto his game and sent him
off. Two Or three peddlers cum along and
hung around fur day or two, but they
didn't diskiver anythin'. They kept Sendin'
one sort and another, but it WASH e no good,
and thought they had givea il up when
cr'tter appeared WHO took me In as slick as
grease. lie said he was preacher. and he
had the look OF one. He was about fifty
ars old, humble as Il cat and he aSt man
ON airth TO harm u fly or bug. II called
hisself "A 'Josephte, and he had got up a
reltgun never heard of yere befo. 1t was
what he called Josephs reigun and all
80 rad to do TO be say ed was 10 sprinkle
ashes yor head and believe In Jo-
seph.
And who was Joseph?'' asked.
Il amt 'zactly cl'ar on that pint" re-
piled Zeb, 'kase the preacher didn't ex-
plain very pertic&ler. He wan tho disciple,
nor nutfin OF that sort, but some saint or
other who had heap o infloonce and who
was gwine TO aveeyerybody Y who humbIed
hissclf. Them big wertls the pre- acher used
was too much for us, though they made us
believe what he said He lid his preachin
from house To hous g, and right yare In this
room I've seen twentysix men and wimin
on their knees apray!n' to Joseph, whilst
my ole woman was waikiki around AMI
u 4
was the ame at othe rcabins, a ld byand by
ti!is got 10 he known as The jose phite Se.-
tlemcnt. Mighty quare times we had fur
a few weeks
And the preacher turned out 20 be a
rev venue spy2'
I'm cumin tothat. J watched him purity
clus fur Il time, hut he peared tt, ne all
right. He put mo- ashes on his al than
any 70 other people, aud the way he shed
tears and prayed to Joseph would hev
touched yo'r heart. Thar was Jest cne
tlung about him that made me- kind o sus-
sishuS. His JoSephbelieyed in whisky, and
so did he, and the critter was alIus iskin'
furit wherever he went. might hey pass ed
it over, but the oIs woman was diffe rent.
One day she srz TO me, sez She:
. Zeb White, 1t amt material and never
can be material fur a preacher to drink
whisky. If that yere JOS eph got drunk .hen
ain t gwine to believe in his goodness.
Il sot down to argy it out, s aid Zeb,
land arter a bit l Teckoned TO consider
that whisky and ashes didn' tmake mp much
Of reheun. The pre- aeher was snackin'
his lips over the new religua. AMI tlie ashes
was gittin dow TO the roots of our Ila'rand
naEin the scalp Sore, and Jest then myold
dawg sUt in TO make me mo- suspishus
He began tn act mighty quare and ugly
toward that preacher, and couldn't help
but think sunthn' was wrong | kept nv
eyes open, but it was several weeks befo'
anythin' happened"
Did the preacher go trampng over the
country?' 1 asked.
Not d bit OF it, y replied Zeb He Jest
set around all day, or didn't go outer sight,
and that was W hat fooled us He got moon
sine whisky everywhar' ne went and must
bev knowed thar was il still around we're
but he didn't do any lookin'-not till he
last. He Jest paid strict attenshun 10 Jo-
seph and the new sort o religun, and we
couldn't sprinkle too many ashes on his
head. One night, however, when was on
my way tothestiI eardsumbody yfolle rim :
On. When / was suah of it took another
path and lodged about, and arter bit
throwed the critter off my track. Who it
Was l couldn { make out, and I was dead
skeert OF the revenoo till the next mawnin'
l was eatin' breakfast and feeln' power
fulsober when in walks myole dawgand be
gins TO bark and make signs fur me to foller r
him
Hes got a coon up tree sez to the
ole woman.
"'It's sunthin' bigger'n coon," sez
she rs he watches he dawg
"Arter breakfast l follered him, and he
took me in that iron pit l showed yo'
t'other day When l was dodgin' the
critter who was follerin' me l passed clus
TO that pit. l couldn't ina CINE what the
critter had found and my ha'r Jest stood
Gp, ashes and all. when l looked down aud
saw the preacher at the bottom 1t was
fall of about twenty feet, but he WASH It
| hurt much, and he was lookin up and
| waitin'
or that yo,' Mr.. Bings?' sez 1, as 1
| made him out
Yes, it's me, Mr. White
"'What yo' doin down thar
| In my dreams l saw Joseph walkin
| on the mountain-side, and L rose in my
| sleep and follered him and fell in yere'
THE critter was as cool as could be, y
! said Zeb, with a chuckle, ''but was on to
| his game and knowed at last that he was
| revenue officer He had cum among us
with new kind OF religion, composed
mostly of ashes, and SO l went over to
| burn;n' log-heap and gathered bushel OF
!! so of hot ashes and poured 'etn down The
! hole fur his benefit. Then went arter Cy
| Davis, jim Williams and lot mo, and
| that AFTERNOON we pulled the varnint ont ~
/, pit. He stood right up and claimed that
| 1t was case o sleep walk, and he fen on
! his knees and prayed to Joseph to forgive
our wicked doubts. Consarr his pictnr'
-! but he 'peared so airnest that we sorter
doubted ourselves and didn't do what we
| had planned to-"
| Were you going to hang him, Unels