The Goodland republic. [volume] (Goodland, Kan.) 1891-1907, 1897-08-13
A DEAL IN OSTRICHES.
BY H. G. WELLS.


Talking Of the prices of birds, I'ys
Ieen an ostrich that cost R3OO," said
the taxidermist recalling his youth Of
travel. Three hundred pOundsi"
He looked at me over his spectaeles.
"rEe seen another that was refused ct
four!"
NO" he said, ''it wasn't any fancy
points, They was just plain ostriches,
A little off color, too-owing to dietary.
And there wasn't any particular re-
strietion of the demand, either. You'd
have thought five Ostriches would base
ruled cheap on an East Indisman. But
the point was, one Of 'em had swallowed
a diamond.
"The chap it got it off was- Sir
AEohini Padishah, tremendous swell
IA Piccadilly swell, you might say, up
TO the neck of him, and then an ugly
black head and a whooping turban, with
this diamond in 1T. The blessed bird
pecked suddenly and had it, and when
the chap made fuss it realized It had
done wrong, 1 suppose, and went and
mixed itself with the others TO preserve
it's ineOg. It all happened in a minute.
I was among the first to arrive, and
there was this heather going over his
gods, and two sailors and the man who
had charge of the birds laughing At
to split, 1t was a rgmmy way Of losing
d jewel, come to think Of it. The man
in charge hadn't been about Just at the
moment, so THAT he didn't know which
bird it was. Clean lost, you see.
diln't feel half sorry, to tell you the
truth. The beggar had been swagger-
ing over his blessed diamond ever since
be came aboard. a-
ga thing like that goes from stem to
stern Of a ship in no time. Everyone
was talking about it. Padishah went
below to hide his feelings. At dinner
he pigged at table by himself, him and
two other HindoOs-the captain kind
Of jeered at him about it, and he got
very excited. He turned round and
talked into my ear. He would not buy
the birds; he would have his diamond,
He demanded his rights as a British sub
ject. His diamond must be found. He
was firm upon that. He would appeal
to the house of lords. The man in
charge Of the birds was one OF those
wooden-headed chaps you can't get a
new idea into anyway. He refused any
proposal to interfere with the birds
by way of medicine. His instructions
were to feed them so-and-so and treat
them so-and-so, and it was ss much
as his place was worth not to feed them
so-and-so and treat them sO-and-so.
Padishah had wanted q stomach pump
though you can't do that to bird,
you know. This Padishah was full Of
bad law, like most Of those blessed Ben
gals, and talked of having a lien on the
birds, and so forth. But an old boy,
who said his son was a London bsTFisber,
argued that what bird swallowed be-
came ipso factO part Of the bird, and
that Padishah's only remedy lay in
an action for damages, and even then
it might be possible to show contribu-
tory negligence. He hadn't any right
Of way about an ostrich that didn't
belong to him. That upset Padlshah
extremely, the more so as most Of US
expressed an opinion that that was the
reasonable view. There wasn't any law
yer aboard to settle the matter, 50 we
all talked pretty free. AT last after
Alden, it appears that he came round to
the general opinion, and went privately
to the man in charge and made en- offer
for all five ostricheS.
''The next morning there was a fine
shindy at breakfast, The man hadn't
any authority to deal with the birds,
and nothing on earth would induce him
to SELL but it seems he told Padishsh
that Eurasian named Potter had al-
ready made him an offer, and on that
Pedishah denounced Potter before us
all. But think the most Of US thought
it rather smart Of Potter, and know
that when Potter said that he'd wired
at Alden to London to buy the binds,
and would have an answer at Suez, I
cursed pretty richly at q lost opPOF-
tunity.
AT suez, Padishah gave way to tears
-actualwet tears-whsn Potter became
the owner Of the birds, and offered him
$50 right of for the Eve, being more
than 200 per cent on what Potter had
given. Potter said he'd be hanged Il
ne parted with a feather Of then-tfat
he Toeaut IN Kill fhs-n Of 80, -.