The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-03-31
MR.. BOWSER BULLIEn
HE WAS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE AND
SOON FOUND 1T.

When He Started Out on the warpath
His Wife Met Him Half Way and Made
| His Hair Stand on End-A Little Excel
! lent Advice.
| The feelings of the average husband can |
easily be detected by the average wife as
n returns home at night Mr.. Bowser |
ls.dnt opened the gate the other evening
when Mrs. Bowser drew long breath and
prepared for n thunderstorm. Things were
wrong with him, and he showed it by the |
way he wore his hat, by the SLOUGH of his
shoulders, by the squint of his eyes, by the
kick he gave the gate as he reached it. He
saw her in the hall as he opened the door,
| but he got out of his overcoat and flung
down his hat without noticing her. Like
q diplomatic woman, she took no notice of
his conduct, and, though he growled and
grumbled over the dinner, she prevented
his breaking loose. When the meal was
finished, however, Mr.. Bowser could hold
in no longer. He stood in the middle of
the sitting room and looked around for an
excuse to begin the business of the even
ing. 1t took him three or four minutes to
find one, but he finally noticed that caster
had dropped out of the leg of chair, and
he led off with
$50 you've been at it again, have your"
AT what?' she quietly asked.
"At smashing up the furniture with a
crowbar! 1t isn't enough that the roof
leaks, half the windows are broken, the
doorknobs all off, but you must seek TO
destroy what's left Look at that chair,
4. will your"
IL see the chair. One of the casters is
out.
"And how did it come out?' he shouted.
"You probably spent half the afternoon
whacking away at that chair with a crow
bar, club or sledge hammer! Why didn't
you smash it to kindling wood9 Why
didn't you clear out the room and be done
with itP If there's another house in
America''-
"Mr Bowser, don't speak to me that
way she exclaimed as she rose up. 81
know what you were going to say, but just
let me tell you that this house is run all
right-as right as any other in America.
AS to the chair, you flung yourself down
upon it the other night and broke it, and
it's your business to make repairs or send
it away"
"You-you are speaking to 1neP' he
stammered as his eyes opened very wide.
Speaking right to you, Mr.. Bowser.
am not in the habit of talking to the walls
: or the furniture. Please sit down while
l talk to YOU
"Woman-do--do"-
: THAT'S all right, Mr. Bowser. Sit
! down. Now then, there are no leaks in
the roof of this house. If there are, then
you caused them by going up and cutting
= through tho tin with an ak. Not pane
? of glass is broken, not doorknob off, not
+ piece of furniture out of repair except
= that chair Something went wrong with
tnIp INIT ni chs frQ
1 your tune at once or put on your hat and
{ take Il walk.
"Wh-what! You talk that way to me
to your husbands" howled Mr. Bowser as
: he leaped to his feet and his hair stood up.
t 'Be calm, she replied "a wife has all
4 the rights a husband has in this country,
7 and one of her rights is to talk You
: didn't seem to like the steak at dinner, and
> l noticed you making up face over your
; coffee 1t was fine steak, Mr.. Bowser,
4 and the coffee was excellent. However, if
o you can do better at cafe have no OBJ
= jections. Perhaps it would be as well for
Il you to secure board elsewhere for week
n or two"
f Mr.. Bowser sat down He sat down be-
. cause his head whirled, and he was won
dering where he was at.
You complain about things being bro
n ken, she continued Nothing is ever
n broken except by you. You go slashing
around like rhinoceros turned loose, and
it's wonder we have whole piece of fur
o niture in the house. If the doorknobs
f were not on to stay, you'd have slammed
n them off long ago. You broke your glasses
IN trying to get one off the buffet the other
night, and this morning you managed to
n pull two handles off your dresser and drag
i one of the window curtains down. Nice
of IL alb
using sledge hammers and crowbarsp'
$ She heard gurgling, gasping sound
: from the direction of Mr.. Bowser and
a glanced that way to note his bullying eyes
:, and red face and open mouth.
1.-THE other night we had u little differ
e ence of opinion, " she said as she turned
h away. because differed with you you
e got up and tramped around the room and
!, said it was no wonder that husbands were
= driven to drink and to spend their even
IS ings in saloons. When you see fit to take
e to drink, Mr.. Bowser, don't stop to con.
suit me- just go off and get drunk, and
: if find you on the doorstep I'll throw q
bed quilt over you to keep the frost out.
e have heard that saloons are very attractive
places. If you prefer them to your home
go ahead, and you needn't be in any hurry
about getting home.''
That was Mrs. Bowser talking; but
though she was sitting in a chair, she
seemed to slr. Bowser to be whirling round
L and round. His eyes blurred, and there
was lump in his throat, and he hardly
breathed as he waited for her to go on.
II want some money for new hat
gloves and hosiery and l want it right
It away l asked you last week, and you
e said you We're hard up, though you brought
10 home $40 box of cigars that same night
Just remember that l am an equal partner
u with you in money matters, Mr.. Bowser
l. Half you have btyongs to me, morally and
r legally. If you can smoke Is cent cigars
: l can wear silk stockings at s. per pair
AS rule, the more n husband squanders
the more he expects his wife to save, but
we'll change things about"
Mr., Bowser rose up and stood for mo
ment, and he also extended an arm and