The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1897-04-10

we must give the people something inter-
esting to think of-take some step that
viii create a sensation, and we can't do
better than declare war on somebody. It
win give us a fortnlghts grace, prob
ably more, and before the war can c5m-
mence we shah be out Of it all, beside,
he added sweetly, making it jolly nasty
for the party who want to GUST us
THE extraordinary foresight of the
presidents scheme caused such emotion
at this point that business had to be
temporarily suspended, but when thing
had settled down again, they sat abou
choosing the country which should be
the subject of their bellicose attentions
Opinions differed here. One man proposed
the United States, but was cried down
because the president said he'd heard
that they'd lately ordered . navy and
initiated a foreign policy, and Who could
say what they might do in The first
warmth of their feelings? He was no
fool, that president-only downright bad
and corrupt.
"The other powers next came under
consideration, but were rejected one after
another for certain cogent reason, till
all the available powers were disposed Of
excepting England.
20 I propose, said the president, that
we declare war against England,
Dom Miguel had said so many clever
things that day that no one ventured
to disagree with him. So. after waiting
a reasonable time for objection to be
advanced, he proceeded to give the
grounds for his choice.
:" We know said he, that England is
big and dlgnlfied, and hard to. irritate,
Also the English element here is not of
much account to be worth individual at
tention, This move of ours will cause a
vast sensation, and raise us in the scale
of nations, and we won't suffer any i'll
effects. Whereas, If we were to declare
war on little powers they'd take It to
heart perhaps and we'd have their waspy
little cruisers here under a week. It's diff
ferent with England. They'd bring the
matter before parliament, and talk about
It, and perhaps send commission to in
vestigate and report. Meantime we can
retire comfortably, and put leagues of
sea between us and our country
Everyone present felt the soundness of
these arguments, so the question was de-
clded, and they passed on to arrange some
excuse for picking the quarrel AS luck
would have 1t, they found it very hard
to fix on anything to complain of. The
English in this district are an orderly
lot mostly engaged in expanding the well
fare Of the country. But the presiden,
again came to the rescue.
There's a man from Europe boring
holes and blasting rocks on the edge of
the quagmires under the mountains. He
Is said to be English-no other land rears
that energetic typa of mnatic. 1 don't
know what he is after, but whatever it Is,
he is contravening the treaty. I'll have
him fetched to begin with. We might
also publish a manifest against the en-
croachments of the English, and chuck
their cccsul into Jail
This decided 1t, and the council broke
up, leaving the president to sign the war
rant for my arrest and distributed them
selves amongst the various saloons in the
town for the purpose of raising Cain.
II.
THE president proved to be right in his
calculations, for when the news got
abroad that the republic intended to cling
to their rights and their boundaries, and
to stand out with all their forces against
the greed OF England, a big demonstra-
ton was held in his honor in the Plaza
Mayor and there was some natural an
xiety aroused in the minds of the lead
ers Of the opposing party.
'As soon as l became aware of all that
had passed at the meeting Of the council,
1 knew the affair promised to be distinct
ly awkward. That business in Guatemala
required to my mind-when they all but
logged the consul to death, you remem-
Der. I set about considering what 1 had
better do. gave the popular excitement
a couple of weeks to subside, but mean
Tina "A hoA
shooting party for my benefit, by way of
throwing down the gauntlet to England,
was quite on the cards, and would have
suited the taste of the populace to a hair,
Surprising they took milder measures, the
Jail was in my case highly unsanitary, l
knew they had had fellow jack there
among batch of Cubans from Panama
not a week before. Besides, q declaration
of war, from however rotten and paltry a
state, might have turned out a tickllsh
point for England to arrange at moment
when the world was suffering from Sc
we're go of Anglophobia. All things con-
sidered, l determined to keep the peace at
any price, and not to go to jail If / could
help It.
knowing that my time was short l
sent message down to the only man /
knew who could be of any use at such a
pinch-Scanderson, in fact-aslxing him to
be with me as soon as possible. Scander.
son lived in the narrowest street In this
dirty little town I knew he understood
the idiosyncrasies of South American re-
puhlics--which was most important-and
had considerable experiences in revolu-
lions, He had resided in the republic off
and on for some years, and generally had
some job or other on hand, and mostly
pulled them off, too, though some of them
were queer enough, I can tell you. His
morals were not overnight, and his talk
wasn't exactly clean, but / knew he had
head on him, and would do most things
for consideration. And that was about
as much as knew Of him at that time.
II was sitting on this piazza where we
are now when he turned up He was a
cross-eyes, clean-shaven man, with a
leather-colored skin, l judged it best to
give him a clear hint of our predicament.
and iRtimated that efficient advice or help
would be looked upon as a valuable CON
tribution and paid for on liberal scale.
1t all depends on what you want 10
do he said, II you want my help in
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