The Somerset reporter., 1897-01-07
For the Reporter.
Outlook of an OctOgenarian

| am seated at the north window
where can see the people pass. 1t is
great treat to notice how well-dressed
and happy they look as they go by.
The dry goods men aud mlliners must
have had good sales. Glad of it Aud
now Mr.. Editor, that the Christmas and
New Years advertising battles are about
over, why not allow an old back number
to sling few slices?
Do you ask how am? Well, about so
80 True, have been stalled since the
4th day of December, not that | have
been showed IN but hung up for repairs.
NV old torment, the asthma, has over
taken me again, aud beside | tumbled-
no, not tumbled but fell. Reader, do
| YOU know the difference between
tumbling or falling down: In falling
one has only to guard the face on land-
| ing. There i no general rule tor
tumbling. When you land on a tumble
YOU go all "ker smash, and cant tell in
! fifteen minutes time. VIII ther you We're
on horse back or on foot at the start
! fell forward gracefully. saved my nose
| but spraned one wrist.
But here comes uncle Benson, the
unique man who has the skill to cure the
worst case of asthma or sprains with
/ boiled clam water. No man in America,
understands the nature OF clam better
! than brother Benson Why, he can tell
! YOU the difference between a Boston and
and Portland clam on sight, ANA also the
sex and whether they came over on the
! May flower or We're imported from
| HAYDEN lake. Uncle Benson is about 81
| wears of age, "A man Of strong procliVites
and the best story teller in Somerset.
| 1t is more than tuu 10 hear him and Tom
/ iawley swap stories. Uncle Benson
! is positive man on some liues aud as
negative as a mule ON others, but ready
/ to yield when beat. He IS downright
good old man, being very kind and
charitable to the Unfortunate aud needy,
as he not only has the disposition buI
the means too, 10 do good. You'll
| seldom meet man whose word is more
sacred.
Hold, there goes Doctor sam Conant.
Sans another character. who sticks to
it, that he can cure more ills of life on
his line OF practice than uncle Benson
can on his clam line. They are both
good doctors.
Here comes large delegation of boys,
with snow shoes, sleds and skates. My
young friends, permit me to congratulate
you on your youthful look, gentlemanly
and joyful appearance. May your
present happiness continue to the end OF
the road, but boys, will you please fall
back and let us spring chickens of more
than 50 years ago-pass; Gou'll learn
when you become octagenarians. and
have no use for snow shoes.
There goes one of the men who knows
how to advertise, display, talk up and
sell his merchandise. But gentlemen dc
not flatter yourselves il is your personal
talent that sells your goods wholly.
Printers ink has helped you out wonder
fully. The REPORTER has been firing
off your loadings right in the face and
eyes of a purchasing public.
The man who does not advertise IS the
one that gets left. Had | anything to
sell. other than few stamped rug
patterns that you'll find at Decker's aud
"me too when there-Id take lessons
how to advertise and patronze the
printers ink bottle.
1t is getting little cool at the north
window. I'll draw nearer the fire.