The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1897-12-24
MAN WHO TALKS WHILE CARVING.
Reprehensibie Practice That Hurts
Many Fine Roasts.
Crank r. Stockton in New York Inde-
pendent.)

Crank r. Stockton in New York indie.
pendent.)
The man who talks while he carves is
often very good talker, to whom intelli.
gent people would be glad to listen, but
they would prefer to hear him at some
other time. They are hungry; each one
of them desires his slice of beef; no one
cares for an immediate enunciation OF
the carver's ideas upon any subject. We
can see him as he sits in front of the
great, steaming joint; his wrists rest
upon the edge of the table; in his right
hand the long carving knife is held up
right; in his left the fork, with its guard
thrown back for action. is pointed hope
lessly toward the ceiling. He has al
ready cut off the outer slice; he has de-
posted it on one side of the dish; and
now, with sparkling eyes. he has stopped
work in order that he may speak what Is
upon his mind.
His wife, from the other end OF the
table, looks with regretful resignation
upon that outer slice. 1t is her favorite
glitter the little globules of osmazome
that element of taste and flavor, which
have forced their way to the surface dur
ing the slow maturing of the roast; and
we'll she knows that as they cool and
tiatten SO flies the favor that she loves.
But she cannot say anything. Even if
her husband were inclined to serve any
body, she could not ask to be served first
and SO she signs silently and waits.
Mr.. Brown, the hosts old friend and
principal guest, does not care for the next
slice. He prefers his beef little under
done. But If the next slice Is not cut
the portion he prefers cannot be reached.
Mr.. Brown is a man of liberal ideas he
is opposed to any attempt to sufocate the
right of private Judgment with the
blanket of accepted tradition. If his host
happens to speak upon the subject of the
authorship of the Shakesperean plays.
and declares with an earnestness which
communicates itself to the quiyering but
still upright carving knife, his contemp
tuous opinions of those people who, with
blind folly, presume to assert that 1.-THE
Tempest and "Hamlete might have
been written by different pens and that it
of Shakespeare only, to have written the
wonderful dramas which were brought
out by the manager of the Globe Theatre,
Mr.. Brown Is greatly troubled. He sits
uneasy in his chair and much desires to
put in word He longs to ask If the
time is ever to come when the supporters
of Shakespeare will be willing to fight
with any weapons except those of ridi-
cule and .derision. He wants to ask his
old friend, as he has asked him often be-
fore, if he had yet heard of any good rea-
son for supposing that Shakespeare really
did write the plays which bear his name,
OR any reason indeed, why they should
bear his name. except that they were
brought out at his theatre.
These and other questions on the sub
]ect, Mr.. Brown longs to put. but, at
this moment, nothing would tempt him
to do SO. The natural juices of the beef
are gently trickling into the dish, thus
depriving the meat of some OF its most
delicate qualities. The vegetable dishes
have been placed on the table and I'M
covered; and Mr.. Brown knows we'll that
if by an adverse opinion he should throw
fresh fuel upon his hosts loquacity he
might have to dine on cold beef and frig
id potatoes. He understands his friend S
disposition and knows very well that If
his soul should become excited upon q
Shakespearan controversy 1t would be
10th to descend to the trlylality OF cut
ting meat. So Mr.. Brown sits rigidly,
endeavoring to Withdraw mis- mind from