davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
A New Boy at School in China.


Every one knows the absurd character
to Oecideutals-of Chinese formal CON-
versatiop, but every fresh account Of a
first interview with a Chiuaman with
whom etiquette must be observed is a
new entertainment. A gentleman who
was for long time at the head of school
in China which vac patropizsd by Chi
nese, has coutribntd to an exchange an
account of the usual interview between
him and the new pupils father.
The Chinese gentleman is escorted to
the reception room, and both he aud the
teacher shake their own hands aad bow
profoundly. Then the teacher asks:
what is your honorable name?"
MY mean, insignificant name is
Wong"
Tea and water-pipes are sent for. ard
the teacher says
'Please use tea"
The ,GRiaaDan sips and puffs for
quarter of an hour before he says to the
teacher
what Is your honorable name?'
MY mean, insignificant name is Patti"
"What is your honorable kingdom ?"
THE small, petty kingdom from which
l come is the Uuited States OF America"
This comes hard. but etiquette requires
the teacher to say il.
"How many little stems have you
sprouted ?"
Tbir means, "How old are you p'
Il have vainly spent thirty years."
'ls the honorable aud great man of the
house living ?"
He is asking for the teachers father.
1.-The old man is we'll"
"How many precious little ones have
your"
~ have Two little dogs."
These are the teachers children.
''How many children have you in your
illustrieus institution.7"
81 have huudred little brothers."
Then the Chinaman come to business,
Venerable MASTER" he says, II have
brought my little dog here, and wor-
shipfully ensruSt him to your charge"
The little fellow, who has been stand
ing in corner of the room, comes for
ward at this, kneels before the teacher,
puts his hands en- the floor, and knocks
Ills bead against l.. The preceptor raises
him and seuds him eff 10 school. while
arrangements are made for bis sleeping
room. and SO forth. At last the Chinese
gentleman rises to take bis leave.
81 have tormeDtfd you exceedingly to.
day." be says.
"Oh, no; have disbcnored you"
AS he goes toward the door he keeps
saying. II am gone! am gop.r'
Etiquette requires the teacher to repeat,
as loi & as be is in bt talirg,-
Go slowly, 20 SLOWLY
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
VOL. XVI NO. 49-NEW SERIES.
HARPER'S Bazaar

The Bazaar, thoroughly up-to-date periodical
for women, will enter upon its Ihirtieth Volume
in 1897
AS fashion journal it is unsurpassed. and is ar
indispensable requisite for every dressed woman
Katharine De Forest writs weekly letter cur
reLt fashions from Paris In New York Fashions
ladies hnd full details. directions and diagrams fo
gowns, wraps and children's clothing. Sandoz
Baude and Chapuis draw and engrave the newes
and finest PArisan designs every week.
The serials for 1897 will be- The Red Bridge
Neighborhood. by Maria Louise Pool: and Father
Quinnallion, by Octave Thanet. Short stories viii
be constantly presented by brilliant writers, among
whom Mary Wilkins. Harriet Prescott Spot
ford, Marion Harland. Ruth McEnery Stuart, Viols
Roseboro, and Margaret Sutton Briscoe.
What doing in various parts of the
Union will form a series OF special interest
Other interesting features are The Out door Won
an, devoted to healthfu sports and pastimes Music
weekly critical summary Of music in New York
Amateur Theatrical, Embroidery and Needlework
"What Girls are Doing" "Current Social Events y
and Personals cleaned from original sources. ;,
Women and Men. Colonel I. W. Higginson will
regularly continue his valuable essays.
Answers to Correspondents. This column is con
Quoted for the benefit and convenience of readers
and all questions received are answered in rotation
as promptly and fully as practicable.
Art. The BAZAR Is notable picture gallery
reproducing the most beautiful works Of American
and and New YorE exhbtions WI. ts and Humer
Everybody turns for hearty laugh to the BAZ ZAR's
last page.
An All Round Woman's Paper.-What more ap-
proprae gift be made to wife, daughter sister
than subscription to HARPER'S BAZAR? Sc
aure 1t as welcome visitor in your household for
1897.
Newspapers not TO copy this advertisement
without the express order of Harper Brothers.
HAMPERS Bazaar
For One Year, $500
Postage Free to all subscribers in the United States,
Canada and Mexico.
Address HARPER BROTHERS,
P o Box e59 N. Y. City.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
GEMS.

The great deed is a thing of earth, but
the good deed lives forever.
No man is more to be pitied than The
one who is satisfied with himself.
Not to enjoy life but to employ life
ought to be our aim aud aspiration.
| If your life is dark, than walk by faith
and God is pledged to keep you as safe
as if you could understand everything.
Every man has some p"ealiar train OF
thought which he falls back upon when
he is alone. This, to great degree,
! moulds the man.
If your eye is on the eternal, your intel
leet will grow, and your opinions and
aetions will have beauty WHICH M
learning or combined advantages of other
men can rival
Set before you high models Try to
live with the most generous aud to
observe their Deeds Be contented, yet
aspire; that should be the faith Of all,
and the two are quite compatible.
A man may know that he is without
God If he is without prayer. Prayer is
the simple expression of the desire for
God. 1t is by prayer We invite God to
come in to occupy Bis throne. and when
he is In, prayer is inevitable.
What we do without purpose be-
grudgingly, with purpose becomes a
delight, and no work is we'll done nor
healthily done which is not enthusiast
cally done. 1t is just that added element
which makes work immortal.
If We look down then our shoulders
stOop. II our thoughts look down, our
character bends. 1t ia only when We bold
our head up that the body becomes erect.
1t is only when our thoughts go up that
our life becomes erect.
The leisure hour is the most perilous OF
hours. But this peril any youth can
avoid II he is only sensible enough to
provide himself with some pursuit. which
developes his tastes and enIarges bis in
tellectual horiz IN aud who of us can not
do that?
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
How He Paid the Minister

The wife tf a we'll to-do Vermont
farmer cal ed the attention of her husband
to newspaper article describing a wed.
ding out West, where the groom had
| compensated the minister for his services
In farm produce. Glow ridiculousr'
commented the good lady.
Her hus band smiled. "It isn't the
ordinary thing" he remarked, "but then,
people who live in glass houses mustn't
throw stones"
What do you mean, Jonas Farmer ?o
asked his " ife, sharply.
WAL" returned Jonas, "when
married you, l paid the minister two
pigs, and he gave me thirty-five cents
change" and with that Mr., Farmer
burst into laugh much to the discomfort
of his wife.
I've lived with you thirty years and
never heard that BEFORE" she said, sand
should lik, to know what you mean by
it. l believe you're saying that Just to
hector me-"
mo, M'ri," answered her spouse, when
his mirth had somewhat subsidized. .Pn
tell you how it happened.
"You know l had been running the
farm for father before we we're married.
and Parsoa Steadman, who married us.
had just come to town He wanted a
couple of pigs, and came over to our
place to get them. | vas gone, but the
hired man sold them to him by weight.
and they amounted to just ten dollars
and thirty five cepts,
'Rarson Steadman told the man that
he hadn't the money by him, but would
be over again in few days and settle,
and the hired man told him that would
be all right.
"Well, when We were married l gave
the parson brand new ten dollar bill,
one that had got clean from the bank
for that purpose.
"Next morning. bright aud early, over
came the parson to our place. He asked
the hired man if | was at home, and
when came out he was pretty much
surprised to see that was the same man
that he had married the night before.
He turned kind of red and looked a little
queer, and said he had come over to settle
for those wo pigs, and he took from his
pocket th It very ten-dollar bill that |
gave him the hight before. and thirty
five cents besides. and banded them to
me.
II burst out laughing, and he look ed
kind of sober for mute, then he burst
out laughing, too.
" If l had recognized you as the man
owed for the pigs, when You were at
my house last night he said, ! could
have handed yog the thirty Ave cents. and
we should have been square,
$50 you see, M'ri, that while we went
through the form of passing the m ,ney
back and forth, you we're practically
boz ght for two pigs, minus thirty five
cents. Youths Companion
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
A FIGHT WITH A LYNX.

Jim Berry Had a Desperate Struggle With
Savage BObcat.
The ugliest appearing animal that
ever walked log, killed a rabbit or
fought trap is the lynx, which is just
as ugly as it looks ten months in the
year and somewhat uglier during the
other two. Not only will the lynx fight
anything that walks the woods, but it
will also tackle visitor from the clear
ings, be he man Or dog or half grown
calf, If the occasion offers
Jim Berry was hunting up in Maine,
about 40 miles north of Greenville.
when he and his friend suddenly came
upon the carcass of a caribou which a
bear was eating. The bear made itself
scarce, much to Jim s regret, as he
wanted to kill the bear. Without say
ing anything to his friend he left camp
the next day and started for the carcass,
intending to watch it, in the hope that
the bear would return. He waited and
watched until about 8 o'clock in the
afternoon, when he began to think of
returning to camp. A soft football back
in the woods-the crafty step of some
wild animal-just then sounded in his
ears. Pretty soon the bear was chewing
the caribou meat, and Jim could see it
plainly. He leveled his buckshot gun
and pulled the trigger, when the wab-
bling muzzle was pointed in what he
thought was the right direction. The
beast went down, and Jim started for it,
Then he stopped, with his mouth open.
The beast had leaped to his feet and
jumped sideways, with its back up.
Jim knew the yell, and he also recog-
nized the bumped back. 1t was a wound
ed lynx spelling for fight. Not having
time to level his gun to shoot, the man
dubbed it, and the blow stunned the
cat little, but the beast got in rake
on the mans leg and tore his trousers
and hide too. Another FRANTIC sweep of
the gun barrel laid the beast fiat, and
then revolver bullet killed the animal.
The buckshot had torn the top of the
lynx's head-enough to make it angry.
Shooting and Fishing.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
A New Lincoln Aaeedote.

| A Kentucky contributor sends to the
Companion pleasing aneodote of Abra-
ham Lincoln. 1t has never before been
published, he says, and as received by
him from the other party to the story,
who Is still living in Kentucky. 1t
illustrates once more tho genial, friendly
tenn O. OF the great war President
During the presidential campsign of 1840
when Gen. William Henry Harrison was
the Wing candidate. Lipcoin then a young
| man just rising into prominenc accepted
an invitation to address an audience in
Union oou4ty, Kentucky, at Wing bar
becue.
He was met at landing on the Oaio
River, about ten miles from the place of
the barbecue, by a com mittee, headed by
Capt. George W. Riddle, aud was escorted
to the meeting, seated in a spring wagon
by the side of Capt, Riddle, the driver
OI the road Mr.. Lincoln entertained
the committee with several amusing
anecdotes, aud on arriving at his Ge e,ti-
nation delivered an able and eloquent
address-probably the oniy address he
ever delivered in his native State.
Af'er the speaking, Capt. Riddle, who
commanded military company, fred q
salute in honor of the orator of the day.
but the cannon, 40 old six pounder, was
overcharged and exploded; though with
out any serions results. Capt. Riddle
raised a subscription to pay Mr.. Lincoln's
expenses, contributing literally himself,
| and then escorted him back to the river
The future President was very much
pleased with his visit, and so expressed
himself.
Many years passed. Mr. Lncoln was
elected chief magistrate of the nation,
and the civil war lr,ke out. Capt
Riddle took sides with the South, and
having expressed his opinions rather
| boldly. was arrested for treason and sent
to Camp Chase, a military prison.
ut was dull and gloomy place for
me-" said the old gentleman, in relating
the story. land after had remained there
about ten days, got homesick, and con
cluded that would remind my friend
Lincoln of by gone hours So wrote to
him as fellows:
"My Dear Mr. President; After pre-
sentipg my compliments to you, wish to
remind you that good many years ago
had you iu tow at a Whig barbecue
near Morgani5ld, in Uainn County
Kentucky. On that occasion ! tried to
treat you kindly, and even burst my
canLou in firing a salute in your honor.
hope you had not forgotten it. Now,
sir, you have ms in tow. ansi-I am your
prisoner here in Camp Chase. am lone
some and homesiek, and want to get back
to my old wife Please let me go.
Yours truly,
GEORGE W. RIDDLE"
Wh'n Mr.. Lincoln received this letter
he laughed heartily, and at once wrote
upon the back # it. please let Capt.
George W. Riddle go home. A. Lincoln"
l-Youth's Companion
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
Flow She Dieted.

Mr.. I. Zangwill, at dinner of the
Maccabees, told the following story
"The fat girl of c., gentlemen, is not
myth, nor a show person, but solid,
private reality that have seen. Her
fatness weighed upon her; SO she went
to a physician to be rid Of some of it.
He drew up a careful dietary. She was
to eat dry toast, plain boiled beef, etc.,
and to return in month to report re-
duction. At the end of the month she
could hardly get through the doctor s
doorway. He was aghast. Did you eat
what / told you?' he asked. Religious
ly. His brow wrinkled itself. Sudden
ly he had fash of inspiration. ANY
thing else?' he asked. My ordinary
meals,''
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
The Force of Habit,

On the day before the execution; the
keeper informs the doomed man that a
visitor wishes to see him.
Do you know who he is?'' asks the
doomed man.
"No."
"Well, just ask him if he wants to
collect bill, and if he does tell him to
call tomorrow. Strand Magazine.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

The government always withholds the
fractions of penny in its periodical
distribution of dividends on account OF
the national debt, From this source the
state has accumulated in the last 100
years the sum of $3.50, 900.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
A Strange Nursery.

On the slopes Of the Himalayas the
native women have a most curious plan
Of disposing of their babies and keeping
them quiet while they are engaged at
work in the fields during the greater
part of the day. Before the mothers set
out to work in the morning they wrap
their babies in swaddling bands, leav-
ing nothing but their little fac es ex-
posed. Then the babies are taken and
laid under ledge of rock from which
water is falling, and by means of
bamboo the water is made to drip gen
tly on each baby's forehead The effect
of the dripping water is most soothing.
and soon the little ones are all asleep
and remain motionless till taken up by
their mothers on their return from their
work, when they are carried off to be
unwrapped, dried and fed.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
The Wonderful Marching Ant.

Paul Du Chaillu tells of the doings
Of queer African species of ant, which
the natives call the bashikonay, which
marches through the forests in regular
line This line usually averages about
two inches in breadth and is often sew
eral miles long, with not break in the
column. "All along the line" says the
great traveller, "large and fierce looking
ants act as officers, keeping the singular
army in order. "
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
His Favorites.

Spats-It's delightful to listen to
Count Makaronni, the Italian nobleman,
ON account of the way he uses his VOW
els.
Socartoots-Yes, he does scatter them
around promiscuously. but he discrimi-
mates.
Spats-Why, what do you means
Socartoots-He seems to favor ]. o.
Q.-Pittsburg News.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

A French paper vouches for this dis.
logue, which took place in q French
assize court, as being literally true:
Why" asked the judge OF . man
who had been caught stealing provisions,
'did you attempt to rob thispo baker"
''tt was hunger that forced me to it, u
answered the man. when the forest
wolf is hunted from the woods by starva
tion. he takes bis prey where he can seize
it"
"Hushr' thundered the court, rappiue
on the desk; "he does nothing Of the sort;
he endures his Ills, repen,s. and becomes
an honest mani HoIsL's Companion
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

The present king Of Servia. Alexander
J. was elevated to the throne in the
place of his disreputable father in 1889.
He was born in 1875 and is now a stur-
dy youth, who, it is said, gives promise
Of being quite as disreputable as ex-
King Milan ever was.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
Highest Of all in Leavening Power-Laest U. S. Report
R0>:A!!! g! Rsxassl! RskiHs
ABSOLUTELY PURE
COACHING.
ABSOLUTELY PURE

The musical trumpet's blast,
The sound of laughter gay,
Then word to start is passed.
And the tallyho rolls away.
Out of the city's street,
Far from the noisy throng,
Into the country sweet
1t rumbles gayly along
Over the cool green hills
And down through the wooded dales
Fragrant with daffodils
And vocal with calling quails.
Happy each youthful face,
Merry the mirthful wits.
And, To- in the footman's g place
Trumpeter Cupid sitsl
Arthur Grissom in New York Tribune.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

Robert-We had quite an experience
at Stoder's last evening.
Richard-Yes?
Robert-Yes. We were sitting there
like 30 many mumchances. when Sto-
der's daughter suddenly broke into song.
Richard-So? And what did the rest
Of you do?
Robert-Oh, the rest of us broke away
as soon as posi- BILE. Boston Transcript.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

Notoriety is no proof of merit. A
thousand dollars worth of r, So will
only scent up a few yards. while dolla g
worth Of fned onions will scent mp a
whole town.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

Some folks think that because th. y are
going to turn over q new leaf January 1st
few extra blots on Il Q old one " i'll do
no harm.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

In the south of France the handing
of sweet pea by a young lady to a
young gentleman is polite way of
stating that she is tired of his company.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

Improper and d, fic iebt care of the scalp
will cause grayness OF the hair and bald
ness. Escape both by the use of that re-.
liable specific, Hal's Hair Renewer,
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

Catarrh is a constitutional disease and
r. quires consti utional remedy like
Hoods Sarsaparilla, which pulifies the
blood.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

On rec ipt of ten cents, cash or stamps,
q generous sample will be mailed of the
most popular Catarrh aud Hay Fever
Cure (Eiy's Cream Balm) sufficient to
demonstrate its great merit. Full size SOC.
Nru nDnnnDnc
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
Breaks I'm COLDS.

DR.. Hum phrey's Specific ''77" "break
up" colds that ''hold on'' and prevents
neumonis. Price 25 cents at all drug
4 lists,
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

my hat bowed off," said Margie, 10
relating g recent experience; "an'
toned tlear home wis my head bare
footed "-Judqs
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

No man ought to forget that good
many other people will set their watches
BY his clock,
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22

An ordinary tablespoonful of common.
salt, dry, weighs almost exactly one
ounce.
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
Sc Warren A.. New York C,tv

w oiAou Ot.s No" LUX lily
Ely's Cream Balm has completed ly
CURED me of catarrh when everything lse
failed. Many acquaintances have used it
with excellent results. Alfred W. stevens,
Caldwell, OHIO. -
The Monitor-register., 1897-01-22
1897.
A COLORED SUPPLEMENT WITH THE
SEMI-WEEKLY.

There is place in the United States for weekly
of really high intellectual quality, and the American
people: have gwen THE NEW YORK TRIBUNE
lavish welcome. During the past year TIL
WEEKLY was taken in over $4,000 families and
read by about 25o, 900 people Every effort will be
made to brighten and enrich the paper and make it
necessary to thousands of new friends.
Patriotic, self-rcs pecting enterprisng. THE TRt-
BUNE is fearless and scholarly in editorial COM
ment public affairs, steadfast in principle, and
whirled about with every gust of PASSION and it
of quickness, directness brliancy and force 1t
has won from Democratic rivals by its thoroughly
American spirit, the admission that it commands
the respect of all parties In directing attention.
early and pointedy, to the availability of Nc Kiney
and Hobart for the Republican nominations in 1896,
THE TRIBUNE played now well known and
The WEEKLY TRIBUNE ministers to all the
sweet and wholesome interests OF life; and it is dis
tinctly paper or families and for those who want
the spirit and the editorials of the leading Republi-
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Agricultural page, page of Science and Mechanics,
charming page especially r women, strong
array of market reports of unchallenged excellence,
and book reviews foreign letters, and bright miscel
lany, in ad iition TO the news of the week
1t usually be subscribed for with local county
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THE SEMI-WEEKLY is printed on Tu sday
nd Friday, and gives twice as much matter as The
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The craving for color the part of the young and
even of other members of family. has now been
recognized by THE SEMI-WEEKLY TRIBUNE
in the publication of color,d supplement of 16
pages with each Friday paper If not gratified in
proper way, the liking for pictures and innocent
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find in their favorte paper. The jokes and quaint
paragraphs. and the fifty more political cartoons,
hum. .rous sketches and haftones. and other anus
ing contents Of the colored supplement will prove
welcome addition to the wiser and weightier parts OF
the paper 1t is printed superfne paper, and its
6 pages themselves fully worth the price of th-
SEMI-WEEKLY Sold separately, pictorial
weekly, "Twinkles'' readily brings cents copy.
and in the of year the reader would receivs
more than he has paid for THE TRIBUNE itself
The piquau comicalites OF the supplement will lend
new value to bound volumes and make each copy
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This edition is offered in combination with
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only to subscribers who forward the regular price Of
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Sample copies of Fridays sSEMI-WEEKLY free,
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TRIBUNE ALMANAC for 1897, with full election
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THE TRIBUNE, NEW YORK.