The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-08-08
RustIer,s Trip.

HustIers Tr1p.
I had dined with a friend who could not
get rid of me, and was picking my teeth
in front of the Fifth avenue hotel to let
people know that I was stopping there
(until the police requested me to move on),
when a cab driven by a Jehu who could
have given points to the characters in the
Ben IIur chariot race, dashed up and
came to a sudden stop in front of the no.
tel, says Tom Hall in the National Maya
zine. From its interior a man projected
himself like a bomb from a mortar, swore
al the driver tossed him a coin, pitched
his bag al a porter knocking him down,
threw his card at the hotel clerk with a
deftness worthy of the late magician Herr
mann, yelled two cocktails to the bar
keeper in an adjoining room, grabbed me
by the arm, rushed me into the bar and
had three drinks down my throat before I
could splutteringly explain that l had
promised my wife that 1 would never,
never drink again.
It was my old friend Rustler from Chi
cago.
II m off to Europe" said he briskly.
But before l go 1 want to see a little of
my own country. I'm a patriot with big
p, my boy, and you're just the man to
help me out. l want you to go with me
and put me through the mill at the rate
Of mile a minute"
What do you want to see?" I asked.
Everything" he answered. THE
opera, Central Park. the aquarium, mu-
scum of art, museum of natural history,
Riverside drive, two or three of your swell
clubs, all the pretty women you've got IN
town, and say, you needn't tell my wife,
but one of those suppers that you New
Workers give 10 a fellow that's going to
get married. l want TO see that bad
How long are you going to be in town.
I inquired.
MY boat leaves at two O'Clock to-mor-
row morning." he answered.
Great Scott" said l. you don't expect
to see all you mention between half past
six in the evening and two o'clock in the
morning."
Certain sure" said he. Moneys no
object. I've only got a few weeks away
from business. Doctor said I had to take
little rest. Made arrangements to be
away for a month, If necessary, and I'm
going to see the whole blooming world,
young fellow, understand"
I feebly acknowledged that I had a
glimmerng comprehension of his inten-
tons. Then he ordered supper. 1 regret
ted and still regret that 1 had just dined.
He ordered beefsteak, pork tenderloin,
broiled chicken, roast turkey, canvas back
duck, quail on toast, all the vegetables
on the card mince pie, apple pie, pump
kin pice, ice cream and two kinds of
cheese. moreover ne slowed IQeIn away
somewhere. / asked him what his trouble
was, and he said '1oss Appetite
How long does it take to get over on
the other side?" he asked between mouth
fuls.
"A little over five days" answered.
Great Scott, five days with nothing to
do Holy Lucifer I'll go mad"
There will be plenty of pretty stiff polk
er players on board" I ventured.
" s that so" he chucklad and his ewes
cleaned viciously. 'There'll be a sick lot
of boys go down the gang plank with me
on the other side if that's the case
What is your itinerary for the jour
ney?" 1 asked
my what? 2" he gasped.
your plan of campaign" I explained.
Where do you intend to go and how long
do you intend to stay in each place"
"Oh," he answered with a sigh of relief.
II didn't know but what l had forgotten
something. l asked Ly Gage and Marshy
| Field and some of the other boys what l
needed for the trip, and they said all !
needed was money and a change of socks
| Plan of campaign, Ell? Well, Ill tell you.
One day in London, one in Scotland, one IN
! Wales and one in Ireland"
You don't mean to say you expect
Expect nothing, young man, that's
| what I'm going to do. Travel night times
! and see day times. See? OF course 1 don't
! expect 70 see every tnIHs. OHly just WHd'
we didn't have at the fair. We had most
! of Europe at the fair, and some of Asia
| and other foreign countries. Well, after
that a day in Paris and another day in
! France. BY the way l have a notion that
| either Paris is in France or France in Pa
ris If that is the case 1 can save some
| time there. After that one day each to a
! country and it's capital until I've seen EN-
! all. I'll stay at Monte Carlo long enough
/ to bust that blooming bank there-Oh
/ you needn't worry. l busted IIankins once
! Then Monochrome TO work. And I'll worl
| all the harder for a little rest, don't you
! Think"
l make no comment.
I will simply add that at O'clock tina
| morning l started Rustler of Chicago of
! for trip for the benefit of his health. Ther
! l called an ambulance and went to the
| hospital.