Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-01-30
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ATsr. u What makes Nudge
Iook icdntr' 'l!c Il tul,,"-In,
lianaro.i, journal,
. .N.h,ry j'ds it "rl +, accomplishi |
y.i'rr- IT,. It was 40 hard as it is
rr ,ed-ncsei man to look coldly M
tv1lcctual. Puck.
Shc-l think might love you more
IL you were not So 'extravagant. He
It's my cSsravagant nature that makes
mc love you so.--l.ife.
rs your picture in the Academy n
success" That's what I am wonder.
ing. Some one said 1t was worth the
price Of admission. Puck.
Gracit~-l'apa. a monologue Is when
people talk to themselves. Is II not?
rapa-Ycs: or. sometimes. when they
talk to their Observation-Disclosures.
Arthur would marry that girl but
FOR one thing. Chcster-Afraid to pop
the question? Arthur-No. Afraid to
question the pop.-l,rooklyn Life.
Tagleigh - Balloon sleeves were
bound To 20 UP In the end. waglcigh--
Sure. That Is why they were named
balloon sleevcs.-i,os.cn Traveller.
Brown--iIave you decided what you
are going to call the baby? Jones--Oh.
yes We're going to call him whatever
name my wife may select.-Puck.
llawson Some inen 20 through this
world as though they owned 1t. | wish
I could. Blinks Why dou't you buy
whecl?--Philade.phla North American.
"John." said Mrs. Snaggs ~ her hus.
bar,i. do you know the date of Noah's
nood?' Eyes" what was it, I'm.
undatc.' - Pii,sburg Chronicle.Telc.
graph.
"JumicIgh lost an awful !6t of money
on the election" did he tell you soY"
"No: but when I asked him he told me
!: was none OF my business. ,oNbury
Gazette.
Mr.. Peck during the dispu,c,-Tn.-
but-my dear Wife Mrs. Pcck--Sl.
lencc. sir! I'll not but. Bo.hoo. Now
you're calling me n goat.-Philadelphia
North American.
Brazen Boarder lat dinner tablet
can tell fowls age by its teeth. Sur.
prised I.andlady--But fowls have no
teeth. Brazen Boardcr--No; but have.
Texas Sif.Hgs.
Old Gotrox--You ask for the hand Of
my daughter. What expectations have
you? S,aylcisht-i.xpectat Well,
I hear that you've got heart disease
Philadelphia Times.
II don't think .Ierklelgh would hest.
tate In telling a llc." said Halloween.
ayes. he would" said Chcsney. "What
makes you think so?" "Ile has to.
He shutters"
Aunt Gladys" said the small girl.
do you say n man has or lis lcft?"
ut depends. dearic." replied Aunt Ola.
dys. drcamily. ION the man."--Cincin.
natl Commercial Tribune.
IL tell you that a juror In murder
ease has IN awful responsibility on
him." Eyes. indeed. n he goes to
sleep he Is liable TO bc fined for con.
tempt Of couri."-New York Truth.
Jinks-Thcre IL man who has o
number OF movements on foot for max.
inig money. Binks--Who Is he? JinkS
Il don't know his name. but he's o
dancing teachcr.-Ncw York Adver.
tiser.
She-l am quite sure you had too
much champagne when you called on
me yesterday afternoon. He-ics; !
thought I'd Just look round to-day to
see II l was engaged to you.-Plck.Me'
Up.
"Mamic got diamond ring for her
Christmas" How did she get itT'
Hung up her stocking" Jack. Of
course? But how did Jack get itT'
"Hung up his watch."-lllustrated
Monthly.
"Im not much on stahtlsticks." said
Ephraim Jefferson. "but I'll bet thutty
cents dat 34,76i.3?t paths oh slippaha
done bin made by young women TO
Young men dat won't nevah wore DEM
Baltimore News.
First Author-I learned the typewrit
or In two weeks. and yet you say yor
can't get the hang OF It Mt oil. II Il
strange. Second Author-N0t at oil
strange. My vocabulary II 20 large
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The poet enters timidly. Here an
n few verses, Mr.. Editor" he says. def
Eventually, The barbarian, withou,
looking up. says. busily: "Please throw
them In the basket yOurself-I haven
time lust now."-L'lilustre dc Poche.
Curious circumstances under which
Stickem left his boarding house." sale
q drummer, speaking OF an acquaint
ance whose character wasn't above re
proach. Indeed! What was there GU
rious about III" asked q friend. "Tha
he didn't take the house with him.
Buffalo Times.
The Livng skeleton (surprised)-Yo'
look terribly blue-and yet, only las
week you married the beautiful human
centipede. The Osslfed Man (gloOmily
Il am blue! No sooner are We two hap
pi!y married than she gets the cyclini
fad. and have to buy her sextet bl
cycle!-Puck.
Mother Ito her S-year-old daughter)-
Now, Mabel. want you to sit down a
once and mend that hole In your apron
have spoken to you about 1t alread!
three or four times to-day. Mabel
Well. mamma, you oughtn't 10 speal
about II so often. You know the mott
you taught me says: "The least sail
the soonest mended," and you ought 4