The Winslow mail., 1897-08-28
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cial duties. Arnold admitted to being
fond of dining out. Il rather like it.
he said; 1T is rather nice to meet peO-
pie" 'Oh yes, replied Huxley, laugh
ing, but We are not all such everlaSt-
ing Cupids as you!"
an ambitious youth once sent his
first manuscript to Dumas asking the
distinguished novelist to become his
collaboration. The latter, angrily seiz-
ing his pen, wrote: How dare you, sir,
yoke together horse and an ass"
He received the following reply: "How
dare you, sir, call me a horse?" His
anger vanished, and he laughingly
penned the following: Send on your
manuscript, my friend, 1 gladly ac-
cept your proposition"
A characteristic story is told of
New England man and his wife, who
live very methodically. One evening,
at exactly o'clock, they went to the
kitchen to make the final preparations
for the night. "Marthy," said the hus
band, after few moments, "hev ye
wiped the sink dry yit?" Eyes. Jo-
siah," she replied; why do you ask?"
'Well," he answered Il did want a
drink, but l guess I'll git along till the
morning"
The other day man was witness to
collision between a man and a wOm-
an, both cyclists, ahead of him. The
latter got the worst of it, and, indeed,
was knocked over, while the other
wheeled away as though nothing had
happened The witness came up and
assisted the lady to rise and remount
''Now l am off after that fellow" he
said, ''tO get his name and address,"
Its not a bit of good" she quietly re-
piled, ''he's my husbandv
Herbert Spencer plays billiards. Once,
at the Athenaeum Club, he played fifty
up with an antagonist, who ran out
without giving the author of ''The Syn
thetic System" a chance of handling
his cue. 1t was very provoking, and
Mr.. Spencer felt constrained to speak.
Sir" he said, "a certain ability at
games of skill is an indication of a
we'll balanced mind; but adrOitnesS
such as you have just displayed is, /
must inform you, strong presumptive
evidence of misspent youth"
James Payn tells Of seeing an old
gentleman in the lavatory at a club
putting soap into his mouth, after
which he murmured, ''Thank heaven,
it's all rightr' Mr.. Payn inquired very
delicately why on earth he did it.
''Well," he said, 'I've had such an in
fernal cold for the last week that it
has taken away my taste; every day
I've tried whether / can taste the soap.
To-day | can, so l shall not go home,
but dine at the club" And after that
he did so, expensively and with great
gusto.
Jones, a professed religionist, had
for years taunted Brown with his un-
orthodox doubtings. At a certain din
ner given by Jones, the host became
obstreperously tipsy. Ladies were
present, and after they had withdrawn,
Jones flung himself, with a lighted ci-
gar. into a chair beside his friend. BE
fore l die, old chap" he announced,
rather thick of tongue, ''I'm determined
to convert you" 'As to the truth Of
one Dogma" said Brown, you've cer-
tainly done So" (Which is that"
mumbled Jones, with an almost bac-
chanal flourish of his cigar. "The ele-
vatiOn of the host"
A Southern bishop arranged to spend
three days during his annual visitation
at the home Of one of the faithful,
whose wife was famous hOusekeeper.
A negro boy was brought over from
the plantation to be the bishops body
servant during his stay. The morning
after his arrival, the bishop having
failed to make his appearance, Jake
was sent to summon him to breakfast,
and found him shaving. In few mo-
mems Jake returned looking much
alarmed. "Where is the bishOp?" "He
say he'll be heah directly" what was
he doing?" 'A-sharpenin oh his teef.''
The late Catholic bishop of New
foundland lad piano of which he de-
sired to dispose, and which a friend, a
Protestant doctor, desired to purchase.
Considerable ch&ff ensued before the
bargain was struck at a price which
the bishop declared ruinously low. The
only vehicle in the town which would
accommodate tie piano was the hearse,
and in this II was driven to the doc
tors door, who came to the bishop in
high dudseon. why on EARTH" he
asked, ''did you send my piano home
in n hearsc:" The bishops eyes twin
kled as he answered: why, Oh, be-
cause it was such a dead bargain"
A few years ago the celebrated Pot
ter family, of which Bishop Potter is
member, held a reunion. During the
banquet that followed, the various
heads of the different families arose
and gave a short account Of the pedi-
grees and deeds Of their ancestors.
After all the speakers had finished,
Hon. William NJ. Evarts, who was
present as the legal adviser of tie New
York branch, was called upon for
speech, and responded by saying that
he felt there was little left for him TO
say, but after listening t. the ancestry
and history of the family, he feit he
could cast his eyes toward heaven ana
cry, "Oh, Lord! thou art the clay and
we are the Potters'
President McCosh. of Princeton was
accustomed to lead the morning eXer-
ciSes in the chapel every day, and dur