The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1897-09-23
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journal.
Fitzsimmons was struck by a
drunken coachman the other day,
and Bob says it was the hardest
blow he ever received. AS side
swipe at Corbett this remark is a
masterpiece.-W Washington Post.
A Pittsburg lady has written
poem entitled Nobody Cares for
Me-" If the young man doesn't
step forward now and say the,
proper thing, we would advise her
to quit wasting gas on him.
Cleveland Leader.
The citizens Of Chicago are out
on a hunt after "blind pigs"
When we say citizens in this case
we don't mean the police. A Chi
cago policeman couldn't see blind
pig with a magnifying-g lass.-
Lake City Republican.
A Georgia murderer asked the
governor of the state to come to
his cell and pray with him; but
his excellency felt that he could
not consistently ask heaven to
pardon man whom he himself
would not pardon.-Denver Post.
Sam Jones lectured in Brown
ing last week. Among other
things he said that beauty in
woman was the most dangerous
thing in the world. But" he
added, mo woman in this audience
is in any danger. '-Centralia (Mo.)
Fireside Guard.
A Chicago newspaper CORE
spondent visited the grave of Jim
Grow, the inventor Of Kentucky
whisky, and laments that no mon
ument has been erected to CON-
memorate his invention. This
whole broad land is dotted with
monuments, big and little, to Mr.
Crow.-St Louis Republic.
The humane society of st. Paul,
made an effort to stop the balloon
man at the state fair from taking a
dog to drop from the parachute in
mid-air. Doggie went up just the
same and the indignant humane
people rushed to the scene of the
drop only to find that the bOw-wOw
was a decoy.-St. Peter Journal.
Two men at Juneau fastened
their bicycles together, placed a
boat on the bars, put their baggage
in the boat, and wheeled over the
Chilkoot. At the river they put
the wheels in the boat, and rowed
away. And SO they had no trouble
in reaching the Klondike. Such.
at least, is the story. They were
Americans, Of course.-Florida
Times Union.
The police detectives of Chicago
must be either patient men or else
the toughest of the tough, if they
can take without hinching the
astonishing insinuations of some
Of the Chicago papers, that both
the gold rings and the bones found
in the Luetgert vat were put there
to 'make a case."-St. Paul
Pioneer Press.
In London theaters there is no
trouble at all about the hat ques-
ton, the wearers of hats and bon
nets being allowed seats only
among the upper gallery gods. A
lady who insists on wearing her
hat and refuses a place in the
upper tier Of galleries, is simply
told by the usher that she will
have to leave the ter.-Minne-
apolis Tribune.
Mother.-Johnny, you said
you'd been to Sunday-school.
Johnny with a faraway look).-
Yes'm.
Mother. How does it happen
that your hands smell fishy?
Johnny.-I-I carried home
the Sunday school paper, an'-an'
tn outside page is all about Jonah
an tn whale.-Up-To-Date.
A young man who, we believe,
lives in Atlantic, Iowa, took his
girl to the theater the other even
ing, and she drew bicycle with
check which was given with her
admission ticket. The aforesaid
young man seized the bicycle, as
he had paid for the ticket. If the