The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-08-15
A WOMAN in
THE CONVENTION.
What She Saw There and What
She Thinks Of ii.
A BRIEF DESCRIPTION OF A FEW
OF THE oUTRAGES. RAsCALITIEs
AND CRIMES pERPETRATED
THERE-sHE GETS ADVICE FROM
A MASCULINE FRIEND AND PRO
CEEDS TO FOLLOW 1T.
BY Wunhoo Seedit.

coI ouCe, MY SOrrOWluB SlSCerS, own
the-earth man has been outwitted by a
nineteenth century woman. Notwith-
standing the eternal fiat that went forth
that women wero to be excluded from the
Democratic convention, a woman stood
and stood boldly, too, within the hal
lowed precincts of that august body.
And, oh, my. sisters, could you have
heard the sounds that arose from SQUAD
bling men and have seen the scenes that
were passing strange, it would have
caused the hairs of your head to stand
on end like the quilts of some fretful por-
cupine.
IL is my purpose to give you brief
description of only IL few of the outrages,
rascalities and crimes perpetrated there,
that you may realize hcw low the maso IL
line mind Of man may fall when not held
In check by the tender aud elevating in
fluence of II true, feminine soul.
"fIow did manage to got in.'' and
Wasn't there policeman With beard,
and great, fierce looking fat man, as
broad rs the door, guarding the entrance."
Yes, there was, but it was easy. You
see, fat men are always easily fooled,
and the Roanoke policeman looked the
other way. ! didn't know admission was
by ticket, but observed this fact while
watching others enter. How was to get
u ticket?
l was somewhat discouraged "Bu. ~
sail to myself, "What. am ], after hav.
ing to hey my brother two hours for his
bicycle suit; then, after much labor get.
ting 1t on, after having my hair cut off
and submitting to numerous other Diff
culties and trials, and trbulations of the
flesh, to desist from my undertaking.
No. That door must and shall be enter
ed"
So retiring to corner of the lobby l
revolved in my feminine brain female
plan of campaign. ! thought of what
my confidential advisor. Mrs. Allen, had
told me; but she said nothing about how
Co get in. Her advice applied only to the
method of procedure after getting in,
such us, "Be sure to keep your hat on,
smoke cigar all the time, shake hands
with everybody, Shaping them on the
back and saying, How are you, old chap?
three cheers for Bryan and ne sure,r
she emphasized, "to say darn it, occa.
sionallv and when in an emergency make
it stronger" But none of these covered
my case.
noticed in the opposite corner fine
looking gentleman, with dark hair and
very strong smooth shaven face. with
prominent Roman nose, dark, piercing
eyes, and slightly lame in one leg. He
A@'-- - cS"S'O'oio OA PiCoSlOu lOOhcu
something like a parson Everybody
seemed to know him and went up to him
and shook hands with him, calling him
major. Just then one of the clerks in
my fathers store came up and shook
hands cordially with the major, who
said
~ am very glad to see you again, Mr..
-ah, Mr.-ah-h''
"BrOwn,n said the clerk
"Oh, why to be sure, Mr. Brown, re-
member you quite well. How is Mrs.
Brown and all the little Browns?"
Some one else came up at this moment,
so the clerk was saved the trouble of in
forming the major that he was unmar-
RED. This was au eye opener to me. So
| went I'D to the major at once, Stamping
him on the back, 1 began: III
"How are you, old chap? Three cheers
for Bryan"
He looked ut me little curiously, but
shook hands cordially.
Why" said he, ''you are looking SO
much better than when last saw YOU"
Darn it! MAJOR" 1 replied. ''it's-- the
free silver speaking I've been doing in
my county. naturally thrive on it.''
Let me see" said he, what is your
fathers names''
"Smithers." answered.
Smithers, of course, but his initials?n
Nv. n. Smithers," replied.
Thus he found out my name in true
politico polite fashion. But this WASH t
getting into the convention. So I asked
the major that AS I had misplaced my
ticket if he wouldn't kindly identify me
ut the door.
"Certainly," said he, "just step this
way. Mr.. Doorkeeper, this is my old
friend, Mr.. Smthers -
~. That was all. but it was sufficient I
now stood inside of the great convention
hall. 1t was packed and TANNED with
men, and men only. felt lonesome but
not one whit discouraged. My soul was
animated.by lofty purpose that pur-
pose being the elevation and restoration
OF down trodden women. 7 had come
into that assembly to move that hereafter
ana forever women should be entitled to
Il seat on the floor of every Democratic
convention to be held in this old COM
monwealth. And, oh, my oppressed sis
tiers, If ever our presence was needed any
where to restrain barbarous man. surely
it was here.
Inc boxes shone not with the resplen-
uant beauty OF Virgin fairer sex, nor
ana they glitter with the polished shirt
fronts of men in evening attire, as they
have done in times past. The men were
there and the shirts were there, too. for
that matter, but the ladies were nowhere
to he seen. AS consequence nearly all
the men had their coats off, were smoking
cigars and swinging their feet over the
railing in most unlady-like fashion.
The large stage had fully 300 seated
upon it. There were several tables for
reporters, who were, by the way, a fine
looking set of fellows. At the back were
two large pictures, one of VIM j. Bryan,
ana the other Of Thomas Jefferson. The
presiding officer, slightly built man,
with heavy growth CT beard, sat in the
center. HIS management Of the unwieldv
gathering was very commendable.
Whn t,allnrinc ,rnra bn1h III u