Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1897-06-25

Young Play wright-"And what did
you think Of my climaxg' Critic-"It
was very welcome."-Brooklyn Life.
She snored.-"How does your wife
sleep?" asked the doctor Of the man
whose better half was under his care.
Orally" said the man.-Truth.
Good canvasback ducks" said Riv-
ers, ARE quoted. I see, At s. apiece.
How true 1t Is that riches have wings."
Chicago Tribune.
Margaret always reads the end Of
novel hrst." "Whyr' 80 she can lie.
awake at night wondering how II b.
gan."-Chicago Record.
PA. what is a pessimisty' "A pessi-
mist. my son. Ii person who never
goes out on his wheel without expecting
to puncture his tire."-Puck.
Mrs. Painter-"My husband IL de-
lighted with my pictures" Mrs. Point
er-"You don't say? Don't they look
like you?'-Yonkers Statesman.
"Not every man IL made a fool Of"
remarked the observer of men and
things. but every man has the raw
material In him" Detroit Journal.
1.-THE Decree" announced the messen-
ger Of Jupiter. "is that you shall b
bound forever to the wheel!'' ''W-which
maker" asked Ixion. anxiously.-Puck.
Police Magistrate-'"Have you ever
seen the prisoner at the BARI" Wit
ness-"Never. your honor; but I've seen
him when l strongly suspected he'd
been at TILT Bits.
Yabsley-"Did you ever make mis-
take in the dark and kiss the wrong
girl" Mudge-"No. have got mixed
In the dark and kissed some other girl"
indianapolis Journal.
"Some men," said Uncle Eben, kim
train er dog ter do anything dey tells
i'm. an at de same time raise de mos
disobej intest chillun In de neighbor.
hood" --Washington Star.
'Dah ain much use o. sufferin' in q.
lence." said Uncle Eben; seems like Il
dis worr picks out anybody fob 'er VIC
tim, 1t ain gwinter to be saterfied TIL
he hollers. "-Washington Star.
"And the divorce laws are 10 very
liberal In your section" "Liberal1
Say! They are so liberal that nobody
ever heard Of woman crying at we'd
ding out re."-Detroit Journal.
MY dear. II you took that face
abroad you might have trouble In get
ting 1t home again." "What do You
meanw Il mean the tariff on art my
1ovo u1ulv, v1on
Apprehension: The Professor-"As
matter Of fact, there are different dia.
.ects In different parts of Scotland
Friend-"Grent Scott! Are there more
counties to hear from?"-Truth.
Mrs. Spatt--"Your husband Ii an In
ventor, believer" Mrs. Spotter-"Yea.
Some Of his excuses for coming home
late at night are In use all over the
country" -Philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
First Burglar--Lord. Bill! dis adver-
t!sement wouldn't fool nobody. Second
Burglar--Wot Is 1t First Burglar-Ftf-
ty dollars reward an no questions asst
signed by a woman.--Leslie's Week
ly.
"Trisbie Is the --latest man ever
knew" "What makes you think sof"
HE actually seems to be glad that
he's getting baldheaded, 30 that he
won't have to comb his hair any more
Cleveland Leader.
"Might l ask what school OF poetry
you prefer?" inquired the young man
who writes. And the old gentleman
replied: "The homeopathic school.
The smaller the dose. the better 1t suits
me. "-Washington Star.
Pease--I suppose you've learned =
great deal about gardening since you've
lived In the country? Hubbard-Yes;
I'm picking up something all the time.
This year I've given up trying to raise
my own vegetables.
"How did they stop the elopementT'
asked Maud. by detestable piece Of
trickery." replied Mamie; "her father
put his head out OF the window and
shouted that her hat was on crooked.
and when she grabbed for 1t she upset
the tandem" Washington Star.
"Why do you do up yonr hair In those
papers, dear?" remarked General Wey-
Z
Ter of his wife, as she came down to
breakfast in the Cuban boarding house.
"Why. that's the way you do the enc
my up, is 1t not, dear" replied the gen
erals spouse.-Yonkers Statesman.
Once upon a time two Cows reclined
peacefully beneath a tree. "Oh, by
the way" one of the Cows remarked
casually, "why was 1t. II I may ask,
that you didn't chase those golfers yes
terday?" "Oh, l don't care to be the
cause Of little calves being made to suf-
fer."-Detrolt Free Press.
How long Is It going to take to get
through with this case?" asked the eli.
ent who was under suspicion of house
breaking. "Well," replied the young
lawyer. thoughtfully, ''it'll take me
about two weeks to get through with
1t. but I'm afraid it's going to take you
about four ars."-Washington Star.
Browner-So you haven't a bicycle,
/ Miss Neere? Miss Neere-No. I look.