The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-09-01
B'RER TOMS EPITAPH

Tom for about the hunoredeh time.
.sYou was powerful glad. doh, ter see
dat hat hangin dere,'' he answered mild
II. Garter losin three ole men 1 didn't
want ter break yer heart ag in, Malviney,
by margin dat good lookin yaller gal dat
use ter visit at de preacher's-''
"You was considerin dat elementary or
gan O. yourn more dan anything else"
was the reply Malvina had lived at Judge
Andrews while Miss Ida was studying
physiology and had made the most of her
opportunities.
"Dat good lookin yaller gal, indeedp'
she repea ted wrathfully. YOU'D better
say dat good fer nothin, peart, stuck up,
iighty, long tonRued, iInperent. gadding
busybo what amt never had no more
'lig'o on dan-dan a mewl. What'd you "a
done all desc yeahs widout a perfessin
Christian woman ter keep de roof on over
yer head?"
"'Tain't no use argyfyin wild dat man
after he say dat affirmed Malvina when
she related the conversation to Ida, who
was homo on her first visit since her mar
riage. HES been mCpin roun de whole
endurin fall anyway, an I'ze feared he'll
go off kinder suddenlike. Dat seems ter
be de fashin now, an Toms allus been
mighty proud bout follerin de styles, you
know" she chuokled.
'What seems to be the matter with
himP'' asked Ida.
81 clare, honey, it do sholy seem like
ole times ter see you gettin on dat ta BILE.
spry as a lark declared Malvina as she
gazed affectionately at her former nurs-
ling through cloud of steam rising from
the clothes boiler She gave the clothes
a final punch, then lighted her pipe and
sat comfortably down to discuss her trou-
bles.
ssWel1, in de fust place, Tom had game
foot fer bout month right at de time
de taters orter been dug. Dat foot seem
ter feet his whole symptoms, an he got
dat mournful an pernickity dat he sets
out on de poach wild his eyes bout half
shet nearly de whole day. Den a curious
thing happened. Dem little scissors dat
he allus sleeps wild under his pilIer TO keep
off de ghosts got lost out, an he amt new
or had no hopes O. gettin we'll sence den.
tell him 1osin dem little shears ain It GO
in ter cut off his days, an he SEE tain e de
scissors datll do it, but it am bad sign,
an somethin will sholy happen when dey
disappear dat way, but dat amt all yet,
honey" continued Malvina impressively,
and her voice sank to almost a whisper as
she went on. HE 'clares he had special
warnin, Miss Ida. He do, indeed"
'You don't say SO, Aunt Vineyi''
"Yessum, it's a fac. He seq it come in
a vision while he's settin on de poach. He
had his eyes shet thinkin o. de kingdom
come, when he heerd strange SCUM like
de buzz an floppin o. wings. When he
woke up out o. his trance, he seq he saw
sonethin bright an shinin like wheel O.
fire, an he 'clares on de good book dat
settin on dat wheel like olosepin was
bootiful angel, wild garments fioatin out
on de wind. 1t went kitin by like light
min an faded away roun- de corner out O.
sight fore he could say 'katP What you
1aughin fer, chile?''
ibid you never hear o, bicycle, Aunt
Viney?" asked Ida when she could get
her breath.
The old woman listened with an incred-
ulous air as Ida rather graphically de-
soribed the bicycle, then asked suspicious
1y:
"You amt poked fun at yer ole mann
my, is you, honeyP'
''Why, of course not. They are as COM
mon as-as buggies, anywhere except in
this little Rip Van Wrinkle town"
''Chile, I'ze feared youse backslid sence
you been ter dat wicked city," interposed
Malvina severely. st amt keepin de
oomman 'ments ter talk onrespectful o. de
town where yer pairints live; but, tell
you,'' she proceeded, ''dat be de vi
sion he see was some newfangled hxin O.
de ole boy hisself, but he lowed den it was
one o. de signs O. de times, an all de wise
virgins orter have dere lamps trimmed an
burnin."
It was the next afternoon that Tom
himself went over to pay his respects to
Miss Lidie,' and, after giving a detail
ed physiological character sketch of him
self, with evident embarrassment he re-
marked that he would like to ask a favor
of her.
''why, I'll do most anything in reason,
guess, Tom" she promised.
"Well, you see, honey, wild all de impli-
cations o. desc diseases. an Malviney allus
fidgetin roun like a rooster on hot skill
let, I'ze likely ter be tuck any time, an
want ter be prepared fer de comm o. de an
gels. I amt got a word ter complain ag in
Malviney. She am sholy a powerful man
egin woman, but she am kinder abstractin
as times. foun out dat de best way ter
keep KAN an Elected when yer wife gets
ter fussin roun is ter begin chawin on a lit
tie stick. I reckon 1 done ohawed up near
onter cord O. wood dat way in de last
four or FIVE yeahs
always scolding around, Tom. Her bark
Is worse than her bite said Ida sooth
ingly.
"Dat am true, chile, but mattermony
am a perdition (position) dat der is no
'scapin from after you take its 'sponsibili-
ties. Death comes liker sweet release from
dis wicked world he piously added with
Oue any TcASrSHCe P1CCOulH8
"But it am better ter be prepared
'tWhat is ft you want me to dor" asked
the young woman curiously.
"It's something that I'ze feared wouldn't
git done, honey, if didn't tend ter it an
would be sight o. comfort if you'd jest
be kind an 'bhgin 'nough ter write my
death down in dis yere little Bible he
explained as he carefully unwrapped it.
''But how can 1? You aren't dead yet"
"Dat don't meek no diffance at all IL
you'll jest put down de age an de death
an little tex or verse bout dat casion."
''I'1l promise to live just to write your
epitaph, Tom, but don't know what date
TO put down yeti
".Jest emmy figger ter make it look nice.
/ amt no way perticlar bout dat, but I
wants ter see wild my own eyes dat it amt
naCIocfad