The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-11-24
Unconscious Irish HumOr.

An Irish magistrate, censurlng
some boys for lettering in the streets,
argued eff everybody were to stand
in the streets, how could anybody get
by p
"It is very sickly here, said one 99f
the sons of the Emerald Isle to anoth-
er. eyes," replied his companion, "a
great many have died this year that
never died before
In an Irish provincial paper is the
following notice: "Whereas Patrick
O'Connor lately left.his lodgings, this
is to give notice that if he does not
return Immediately and pay for the
same he will be advertised
An old Dublin woman went to the
chambers for farthing candle, and
was told it was raised to half penny
on account of the Russian war. bad
luck to them p she exclaimed, land
do they fight by candle light p
A young Irishman who had married
when about 10 years of age, complain
ing of the difficulties to which his
early married life subjected him, said
he would never marry again SO young
if he lived to be as old as Methuselah'
A poor Irishman offered an old
saucepan for sale. His children gath
cred around him and inquired why he
parted with it. "Ah, me honeys,
he answered, "I would not be afther
parting with it but for little money
to buy something to put in it. "
At crowded concert young lady,
standing at the door of the hall, was
addressed by an honest Hiberian who
was in attendance on the OCCASION
"Indade, MISS" said he, IL should
be glad to give you safe, but the
empty ones are all full.
An eccentric lawyer thus questioned
6, client: $50 your uncle, Dennis
O'Flaherty, had no family p "None
at all, your honor responded the
client. The lawyer made q memoran'
dunn of the reply, and thus continued
every good. And your Father, Pat
| rick O'Flatherty, did he have chick OF
child ?''n
Two Irishmen were working in g
cuary, when one Of them fell into .
oeep quarry hole. The other, alarmed
came to the margin Of the hole and
called out: '::Arrah, Pat, are you kill
ed intirely? If you are dead, spake.
Fat reassured him from the bottom BY
saying in answer: "No, Tim, I'm moi
dead, but I'm spachless. !"
An Irisbman, having feet Of diff
ferent sizes, ordered his boots to be
made accordingly. His directions
were obeyed, but as he tried thf
smallest boot on his largest foot, ht
exclaimed, petulantly, "Confound tha
fellow I ordered him to make one
larger than the other; and instead o.
that, he has made one smaller thar
the other. y
A domestic, newly engaged, pre-
sented to. his master one morning
pair of boots, the leg Of one OF which
was much longer than the other
Chow comes it that these boots arr
not Of the same length p II raj!
don't know, sir; but what bothers M
the most is that the pair downstair
are in the same fix.
An Irish holster was sent to tn
stable to bring forth traveller 8 horse
Not knowing which of the two strang
horses in the stalls belonged to tn
traveller, and wishing to avoid the ap
pearance of ignorance in his business
| he saddled both animals and brough
them to the door. The traveller point
ed out his own horse saying, 'That'
my nag" Certainly, yer honor,
knew that; but I didn't know whlc
one of them was the other gentle
man S"