Belding banner. (Belding, Mich.) 1889-1918, 1897-09-02
HIS NEW CLOTHES.

County Eye mt Scottdale. Ky.
The Eye was small sheet and was
printed on press that took an impress
sion with loud snap. All the an
nouncements that our paper uttered
were strong, for it required but few
flaps Of our press TO turn the hairlines
of light faced type into the black
swipes of boldest exclamation.
We lived in the office-cost US no
rent, az it was believed to be haunted
and took our meals wherever we hap
pened to find them.
We had been running along for sever
and lay OH the floor smoking, he turn.
ed to me and said:
81 am in love"
What" exclaimed.
81 am in love, say. Give me a
match"
He relighted his pipe, pulled awhile
and continued:
"Finest looking woman you ever saw,
fat, weighs about twice as much as
do, but she's beautiful; never met her
until day before yesterday; went down
to the bluff after bucket of water.
She and old Hillard's wife were sitting
near the spring eating lunch. / ask
ed them if they didn't want some wa
ter; girl said she did; handed her q
gourdful; sat down beside her. Won't
you have some lunch?' she asked. Well.
rather Inibbled her cheese and crunch
ed her crackers and snatched the meat
off the leg of chicken. i found out her
name-Miss Cregg-Helen at that. 1
have met her several times since then.
She gave me poem for The Eye. Well
print it, though it's tough. Now, don {
object. Well print her matter now, and
if we are ever married I'll choke her
off; got an appointment with her to-
morrow. She lives ten miles out i'll the
country, but lover can walk that dis
lance without any trouble.
went out into the country, and OH
returning, after stay of several days,
Buck told me that he was engaged.
'This is nonsense, said /.
"How so?" he asked in surprise.
"Why, you have got nothing to get
married on. -
"Get married ON credit" said he.
"Thats all very well, but you We got
no Clothes and there's not a man in
town would credit you with suit. "
''Oh, the question of suit of clothes
is settled The county clerk will give
$40 for printing the delinquent tax list.
and with that amount of money l can
get first class outfit. | went down to
see the proprietor of the wooden mill,
and he told me that for SO he would sell
me enough jean to answer my modest
purposes.
went with him. The jean was of q
yellowish cast and was woven in ribs
that were almost as coarse as gridiron,
and, still worse, it was greasy and
smelled like wet dog.
We printed the tax list, and Buck
took the goods to tailor. The old fell
low turned away and held his nose
when it was unrolled.
"I'll take 'em," the tailor said, "but
you must have the cloth shrunk first "
That's all right. Let me put them
oil, and they may shrink until they get
tired. Push the work on as fast as you
can, for an exceedingly important event
depends on these clothes. I'll be around
to try them on tomorrow.
Early one cold but beautiful morning
we hired shackly old hack and set out
for the residence of the BRIDES father.
A drug clerk had given us box Of
cigars. and onward we went, gayly
smoking
/ think that they were the worst
cigars | have ever seen. They burned
like piece of hickory, and when we at
tempted to knock off the ashes it was
rare that the cigar escaped being broken
in two.
Buck, you are sure the girl loves
your" asked.
"Of course l am. Do you reckon She 8
marrying me for money!"
You are not going TO compel her to
sleep in the office, are your
"No; she'll stay with Mrs.-forget
the name-until 1 can sorter fix up a
little. +"
but suppose you do not succeed in
fixing up?"
well, then, she'll either have to stay
with Mrs. SLOUGH or go back home.
What the deuce is that odor? Whewl /
never smelled anything as bad. 1t al
most takes my breath.
It's your clothes" l answered.
Why do you persist in making fun
of my wardrobe? From the very first
you have spoken ungenerously Of these
garments. You have not only spoken i'll
of their appearance. but have slandered
them by declaring that they smell bad.
AS single and consequently a thought
less man l could bear insults, but as u
married man, as man who feels the
responsibilities of life, must protest
against continuance Of indignities.
By George, what is it that smells sop"
just then Buck lifted the blanket,
and volume of smoke rolled out. We
stopped the horses and jumped out of
the hack
The tails of Bucks coat were burned
off, having caught from one of our hick-
DRY cigars.
What ought i to do-jump in the
creek or bury myself"
There was in my mind sharp fight
between the ludicrous and the sympa-
thetic, but finally pity babe the ludi-
crous lie down.