The daily morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1883-1899, 1897-08-15
BANCTUM TROUBLE.

The copy boy came bustllng through the
composing room.
"Mr JagRers, ho said 70 the foreman,
"hr Hummer wants 70 eee you right
nway--quick.
Mr. Jaggcrs dropped bis pencil as bo
arose and pushed lack bis chair.
~ wonder what In merry sbcOl IL wrong
nOwi" he muttored.
A moment or two Inter he stood before
chs managing editor 0f tbe great daily.
"sit down, JBgRers," said the edltm
without looking up from bis work. "Il!
zee you In moment"
Mr. Jaggcrs sat down and softly sighed
He knew tho symptoms He whs IN for n
bad quarter Of nm hour.
"Wcll, Jsggers," aid the great man
presently, i've called you In to tell you
that things hre all wrong In your depart.
ment and, by lingo. they've got to be
Strengthened out"
'To what do you refer, siri" inquired
Ar. JngRers
"To-what-do-I-referf' echoed the
editor In n tone Of excessive sarcasm.
That's good. Look here, Jaggers. Day
before yesterday you ran cut In the pa.
per which should have appeared on the
woman's page. 10 was officially described
~ Pattern Of shirt waist for girl Of 12.
And what did you dof You ran II in the
paper upside down and called It Turkish
plan Of operations on the Macedonian
plaiDY
9TH. .that's what 1t looked like upside
down, sir. niumbled this unhappy jag
gers
Here, wait minute" said the editor.
He turned 10 u speaking tube and whis
tied shrilly.
is that yor, Georgei Say, George, how
much did the sale fall of on the 22di
What's thhtf Sold 1000 extra; En- Tbres
hundred and eight new subscribersi
What's that? Every body wants the wal
mapy That's all, George.
The editor dropped the tube and turned
20 Mr.. Jnggers.
you zee. he cried, you're simply
making the paper ridiculous. And now.
Just look at this s!''
He opened another copy Of the paper and
pointed 70 u certain column.
How In the name OF the prophets, " be
harshly cried, did those headlines get so
conioundedly mixed What sort Of title
do you call that for column account Of a
Prohibition gathering
Mr.. Jaggers looked. and this is the glar-
ing line that confronted him:
wet Grounds.
THAT. said the editor, evidently be-
longs on the baseball page. And now just
see what you've got there.
Again he handed the paper 10 Mr.. Jag
gers, and that nervous employee read this:
Drink Did 1t.
The editor crumpied the paper in his
hand as be took It back.
That's a fine slur on our struggling
ball club, isn't iti Every man jack who
reads that headline will take 1t for grant
ed that the club was drunk and couldn I
play. What do you suppose the effect Of
such idiotic headlines Is on an intelligent
publici Listen 10 this.
Again the editor seized the speaking
tube and whistled.
"Say, George" be called, "haye you
heard any comments on the headlines We
had in the paper yesterday Eh, what s
that-73 lettersl All praising the clever
work OF the new headline man' Get out
Is that sof'
Again the tube dropped. The great
editor was evidently taken a little aback.
Then he rallied once more and again
pounced On Mr.. Jaggers.
There" he said, begin on that col
umn and read down. Then tell me what
you think Of such a diabolical mix upi
Read IL aloud"
This Is what Mr.. Jaggers read:
The silent man at the head Of the bril-
liant cayalcade rode speedily forward. Be
fore him rose the pine clad hills Of the
Hutchacoochie and far below flashed the
crystal waters of the laughing Ockmulgee.
Suddenly he stopped and shading his eyes
with his hands looked steadily across the
valley.
bring me my glass;! he said.
1.-The orderly quickly obeyed.
Raising the foaming beaker TO her lips,
the fair young girl cried:
"'For God and FranceH
"Then with movement full Of inno-
and cast the cup far over the cliff.
mo other lips shall profane that
toast, she murmured. With lighter air
she gently added;
land now, messieurs, let US advance,
ave halt here, cried the silent man,
and he tossed his cigar on the ground.
1.-The staff quietly dismounted and stood
back in respectful silence. With knitted
brow the general swept the horizon. Once
he gestured and twice his lips moved
Then he nodded TO himself. The plan OF
battle was complete,
Nay, quoth the maid, we will not
fight except IL be Gods will. l like not
these scenes OF blood. As for the plan of
battle, of that l have no conception. When
God directs me, l will fight, and he will
show me the way.
THE little bodyguard gazed with rapt
eyes upon the maiden where she stood in
the transhguring sunset light
EVEN as they gazed there came a rude
interruption.
"'Give me fresh cigar, cried the gen
eral.
And no lighted it from slow burning
lnutCn WIN u COOlneSS winch Dtlleu lNt
fact that the fate of the nation was hang
ing on his next move.
MIR. Jaegors paused.
This is awful" he said.
Awful is no name for it, cried the
editor. "You see what you have done!"
Yes" groaned Mr.. Jaggers, Il have
mixed up ON the Skirmish Line With
Grant with the Annals OF Joan OF Arc I"
"You bet you have" cried the editor.
why, thing like that is enough TO ruin
the paper forever! How do you suppose
the public regards it! Listen to this"
Once more he snatched the tube:
Say, George" lie shouted, "how did
the papers go this mornings What's thatl
Sold out three hours agog Presses on ex-
ira editiong Mob in the Officer What's
the troubleG Eli They are all clamoring
for the new composite romancey Good
landp'
He dropped the tube and looked at Mr..
Jaggers. His lips moved convulsiyely. He
snatohed a memorandum from a pigeon
hole.
by George" he whispered, 81 believe
we are going to pass the high water mark
of a year agol"