The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1897-05-16
a VVWG0AGN'9 K0WUl7[G11os
Constantly Starch and Sf Back Cha
BabC hatsOe Delightfully."- o IN Variety Of Topics -

Bah Chats Delightful,
Somebody said that no woman must
talk much, for as sure as she does, sne
will draw her lips together in fashion
that's unbecoming. In way. belleVe
this; but in another, don't. The woman
who can talk we'll fails in her duty il she
does not talk often, but there are ways OF
making the feminine mouth, which ought
to look like rosebud, extremely ugly:
There's little French word, 'piante,
which, freely translated, means laugh
ing, and expresses exactly how the NOUN
of woman ought to look. 1t" doesn
mean, however. that q woman snouu
get in the habit Of Sinking, ana present
continual grin to the masculine world
that stares at her. Think OF the women
whose mouths have interested you.
There's the woman who is usually spoken
of as being very firm and having decid
cd opinions: she expresses them by draw
ing her lips together so that they look
like the clasp OF a steel purse, and setting
her jaws as if she were trying to rival
the best breed of bull pup. That's the
sort Of woman you want to have as an
acquaintance, but not as a friend or a
sweetheart.
Then. there's the woman-thank good
ness she's generally Englsh!-who has
been told that her teeth are good-so
they are-big. strong, useful, and white,
and she parts her lips and smiles with
the amiability and exactly the expression
of a rather large horse. If you doubt me,
look at any picture OF George Eliot. Then
there's the woman who lives for her teeth
and dimples-she opens her mouth to
show one and she contracts it to intensity
the other. If you speak to her about
bright woman she asks, right away, IF
you have noticed her teeth" If she dis
cusses the heroine OF a book, she won
ders that the author said nothing about
her mouth or her dimpes, and every ac
tress. as far as she is concerned, is good
or bad, not from the standpoint of art,
but from that of the dentist When she
has photograph taken she hesitates as
to whether she shall show her teeth or
her dimples; and she generally compro-
misses by making a bargain, permitting
her to have the two styles for very little
more money, and in one she is deeply
dimpled, while i'm the other she smiles un-
til you feel you can count her teeth.
The woman with beautiful mouth has
the pinkest of lips, the whitest of teeth,
and the most even, but they simply fash
a little when the lips are open, for after
all there is only one poetical thought
given to teeth, and that is the comparing
thin to pearls. Pearls amount to little,
unless they are brought out by good set
ting. Just remember that, oh! maid OF
the teeth and dimples! and when you are
about to grin-dOn't.
1t is certain that starch has a value in
the commercial world. Then, too, it is
OF use to make those powder bags, used
by people who refuse to recognize the
value OF fine face powder, but who
strain at a gnat and swallow a very
enormous camel, by banging a starch bag
at their faces and gaining, as a result.
something very like the pictures raved
over by the impressiOnists. You know
what | mean. Those pictures where the
sky is blotch of green, the grass is a
pale lavender, and a huge lump of pink
paint and another OF black represent two
lovers parting. OF course, the lady is
another mans wife. You wouldn't know
it was too lovers parting unless you had
that ability TO read the meaning OF paints
daubs peculiar to this school of art. But
to return to starch, never knew laun-
dress who wasn't generous with starch
in the wrong place. The typical Madon-
ma. II the washtubs makes your handker-
chiefs and the upper part of your petit
coats as stiff as boards, while your collars
are as limp as defeated candidates
Then, there is no such abomination on the
earth as stiffy-starched frock. 1t is the
joy Of the lamdress. The girl who wears
fNxs fhof &c e,,n
she will never convince the world at
large that she is anything but an aggra-
waiting blot on the landscape.
The muslin frOck adored by the poets,
was, certainly, what the darkies call
'islnky." II it had any acquaintance with
the washtub it had none with starch, con-
sequently, when a heroine's slyph-like
form was embraced, the frock didn't rat
tie and announce what was going on to
the whole neighborhood. History, as well
as the Encyclopedia Britannica, tells
us that the old woman who invented
starch was hung as witch. Was there
ever living being who denied that starch
was product of the evil spirit? It ruins
the temper and makes every woman feel
commonplace. You may have the most
beautiful petticoats in the world, but il
lney re gong 10 make a dreadful noise
as you walk by the side of your adored
one, you will yearn to ask him if he would
mind 1mmersing you in the first watering
cart that happens along.
Starch and the wielders of it are nos
sessed Of clever demons. About the belt
of ones petticoat will be a solid pound Of
it while the frills will be entirely free
from 1T. That part of the color which is
hidden under the gown will be stiff and
calculated to hurt your innocent flesh,
while the upper part will be soft and
entirely lacking in the stuck-up element.
The worst OF 1t all is, that, give a laun-
dress pretty lawn and lace matinee to
do up, charge her not to let it see even
the outside of a starch box, and you can
bet nine to one that it will come back
with the savings OF years, in the way of
starch, layished upon it, and when you
put it on you will feel like a sandwich