The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-08-13
lS'z||||||I|lI!sI||E||s

''J cilmaxT Critic-"It
was very welcome" Brooklyn Life
She snored--"How does vour wife
sleep?' asked the doctor OF rho man
whose better half was under bIs care
Orally" said the man.-rrutb
Good canvasback ducks said RIv.
ers, are quoted, l see. at So an,ece.
How true II is that riches have winosv
Chicago Tribune.
Margaret always reads tho ans 90.
novel first" 'Whyr $50 Che can 10
awake at night wondering how il be-
gan.'-Chlcago Record.
PA, what is pessimist?r "A pessI-
mist, my son. is person who never
goes out on his wheel without exnect,no
to puncture his tire."-Puck.
Mrs. Painter-"My husband Is de.
lighted with my pictures" Mrs. Point
er-"fou don't say: Don't they look
like your Yonkers Statesman.
Not every man is made a foo, Of
remarked the observer of men and
things, but every man has the raw
material In him."-Detroit Journal.
THE decree" announced the messen-
ger OF Jupiter is that you shall be
bound forever to the wheelr' '.W-which
make?" asked Ixion. anxiously-
Police Magistrate-"Have Won ever
seen the prisoner at the barr" Wit
ness-"Never, your honor; but I've seen
him when strongly suspected he'd
been at it."-Tlt-Bits.
labsley-"Did you ever make a mis-
take in the dark and kiss the wrong
girl?" Mudge-"No. | have got mixed
In the dark and kissed some other girl"
indianapolis Journal.
Some men, said Uncle Eben. "kin
train er dog ter do anything dey tells
i'm, an AT de same time raise de mos
disohejintest chillun. in de neighbour
hood. Washington Star.
'Dah ain much use O sufferln' in ST.
lence," said Uncle Eben: seems like IL
dis worp picks out anybody fob 'er vic
tim, it ain gwinter to be saterfied till
he boilers. Washington Star.
"And the divorce laws are so very
liberal in your section?' Liberal?
Say. They are so liberal that nobody
ever heard Of a woman crying at we'd
ding out there. Detroit journal.
MY dear. If you took that face
abroad you might have trouble in get
ting it home again" "What do you
mean?' Il mean the tariff on art. my
/ love."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Apprehension: The Professor-"As
matter Of fact, there are different dia-
lects in different parts of Scotland"
Friend-"Great Scott Are there more
counties to hear fromT-Truth.
Mrs. Spatt-"Your husband is an in
ventor. believer. Mrs. Spotter-"Yes-
Some of his excuses for coming home
late at night are in use all over the
country. philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
First Burglar-Lord, Bill dis adver-
tisement wouldn't fool nobody. Second
Burglar-Wot is it First Burglar-Fif-
ty dollars reward an no questions asst
signed by woman.-Leslie's Week
ly.
''Frisbie is the LATEST man ever
knew. W nat mdhco ~" eH'"N ~
"He actually seems to be glad that
he's getting baldheaded, so that he
won't have to comb his hair any more
Cleveland Leader.
.AIight | ask what school of poetry
you PREFER" inquired the young man
who writes. And the old gentleman
replied: "The homeopathic school
The smaller the dose, the better 1t suits
me. Washington Star.
Pease-I suppose you've learned
great deal about gardening since you've
lived in the country? Hubbard-Nes;
I'm picking up something all the time
This year I've given up trying to raise
my own vegetables.-Pnck
How did they stop the elopementg'
asked Maud. by detestable piece OF
trickery." replied Mamie; "her father
nut his head out Of the window and
shouted that her hat was on crooNeu'
and when she grabbed for 1t she upset
the tandem. Washington Star
"Why do you do up your hair In those
naners dear?- remarked General Wey-
Ter of his wife. as she came down TO
breakfast in the Cuban clearinghouse.
.Why. that's the way you do the enc
my up. is 1t not. dearT replied the gen.
erals spouse.-Yonkers Statesman
Once upon a time two Cows reclined
peacefully beneath a tree. ION, 10y
the way" one of the Cows remarked
casually. "why was It, If l may ask
that YOU didn't chase those golfers yes
terday?v "Oh. don't care to De the
cause Of little calves being made to sur
fer."-Detrolt Free Press.
How long is it going to take to get
through with this casef' asked the ell
emf who was under suspicion OF house
breaking "well," replied the young
! lawyer thoughtfully. "itn take me
about two weeks to get through VIII
/ It. but I'm afraid its going to take you
about four years-"-Washington star
Browner-so you haven't bicycle
Miss Neere? Miss Neere-No. l look
cd at one the other day, but there was
something about it | didn't like an1
the man wouldn't alter 1t. so | didn
get II Browner-They generally make
any alterations required. What was
-