The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1897-12-25

POrte-Well, neither are you.
He-I envy the man who sang the
tenor solo. She-Wny, l thought he
had n very poor voice. He-So did l.
But just think of his nervel
An Eastern editor says: "Our wom-
en- are accused of being fond of whist
ling. Well, so be it. What is more
lovely than tulips well biownT
Office Boy-There's a man outside,
sir, says won't you please give him 10
cents for bed? Slobson-Tell him to
bring 1t in and I'll take look at it.
First Mald-Mr Spooney has had
miraculous escape. Second Maid
How? First Maid-He died upon the
eve of his wedding day.-Toledo Bee.
The Wife-What a sweet smile there
is on the baby's face, John! The Hus-
band-Yes; he's probably dreaming
that he's keeping me awake.-Tid-Bits.
He-They say iron enters largely in
to the composition of the human sys-
tenn. She-I suppose that is the rea on
a man loses his temper when he gets
hot.
The Bright Youngster.-Ma IL
l am good viii go to heaven? Nam
ma-Yes, dear. The Bright Youngster
How'll l get back?-Cincinnati Tri-
bune.
John, If you don't quit referring to
me as the old woman III make you
sorry for it," what will you do, dearT
I'm be new woman. indianapolis
Journal.
Miss Gabbington-Why, Mr.. Primp-
ley, you are not looking well. Is it a
fact as reported, that you are subject
to pains in your head? Primpley-No;
there's nothing in it.
Not Necessary Now.-Bobbie Blunt
ing-I guess that fellow must be en-
gagged to sister at last. Willie Slimson
Why? "He has suddenly stopped Civ
ing me money."-Life.
Henry, do you believe in the uni
versal brotherhood of man?' Believe
in it? l should say so; down at the
seashore this summer l had thirty-6ve
sisters. detroit Free Press.
"The average man." remarked the
observer of men and things, will ac-
knowledge the corn where the aver
age woman would pretend it was II
sprained ankle."-Detroit Journal.
Harris-Don't you think that liking
for oysters grows upon one2 Gordon
Well, l don't know. Fact is. you know.
1t is seldom one sees the same oyster
, more than once.-Boston Transcript.
81 am so sorry, Charles, you don't
admire my new frock. Everybody says
it is charming" said young wife.
Your friends, my dear, pay you COM
pliments; l pay your bills" replied
her husband.
IF l should fall out of the hammock
what would you do?" she asked. Il
would catch you in my arms" he an
swered promptly. "Get ready" she
said, with feminine impulsiveness.-
, Chicago Post.
"A baby" remarked the observer of
men and things, may not have as
E much sense as a man, bu, l don't imag
5 inc baby believes every woman who
comes along and tells him she loves
him. detroit Journal.
Puritan Youth-(Sunday evening,
0 long ago)-Prithee, Priscilla, thinkest
, thou 1t be truly goodly for maiden folks
:, to kiss on Sunday? Puritan Maiden
= l fear not; but thou knowest we be not
), married yet.-New York Weekly.
J. A Matter of Etiquette Hicks Is
u crazy about etiquette. He saw in The
paper the other day that in the best
circles the wife ladies out the soup, and
he has consequently given up coup"
"WhyT "He has no wife."-Tid-Bits.
Great Scott, Rastus. You look as If
y you had been fighting a buzz-saw."
n "Yessah. 1 was in dat smash-up in de
s Bucktown Wheelmen's race" 81 heard
about that. How did 1t AappenT'
"Dollah fell out'n de pacemaker's peck
ct right in de middle oh de e."-Cin-
If cinnati Enquirer.
Sparring Teacher-What? No more
p lessons? Why, you only took two
= Amateur much the worse for wearS
e You see, wanted to take enough les
s sons so that could learn enough about
d the manly art to lick a man. I've
changed my mind now. l guess l viii
send the fellow down to take the res
of the lessons.-Rochester Democrat
!" and Chronicle.
;, Photographer Ito sitter)-I saw yoi
at church last Sunday, Miss Skeate
Sitter-Oh, did you? Photographer
Yes; and also your friend, Miss Brown
ne Won cOuld raise VOur chin a trifip