, 1897-10-12
WHEN CAMPBELL GAVE OUT.

~
DENT Buchanan as inspecting officer o,
the United States army. Campbell had
been severely wounded, and as trip west
was more to recuperate than for actual
service. He had a good war record, hav-
ing served throughout the Mextc2n CAM
paign, and he was the 0 accomplish
ed swearer that ever came west. He set.
tled on the Missouri river about rs miles
above Yankton, where he maintained a
ranch and wayside inn ,patrol.Zed almost
wholly by ~fre.ghters, army officers and
frOntiersmen. He was not tough, but
ne carried the impression until it came
90 be believed that he would as soon
kill a man as eat his breakfast.
Campbell had a habit OF telling the
guests VINO honored the house with their
presence that they could have anything
lhey wanted to eat, buL when they called
FOR anything ne did not nave he would
inform them that he was not running a
Delmonlco and that they
would nave to take what they could get
and be thankful.
One evening u Stranger came along
VINO a travelling for a Chicago house.
He was A ~tenderioot, inasmuch as he had
never been SO far west before. Campbell
ra5ed him up as a dude, he afterward
said, and asked him what he wanted to
eat, after he had been seated with a doz,
en- or more frontiersmen.
What have you for supper" asked
the newcomer.
What have | got to eat? Why, I've
got any damned thing you want" re-
pied the general, and o had better
be quick about deciding what you want.
| can't keep the cook up all night wait.
ing for j damned dude to find II what
he is going to eat"
"All right, landlord" said the travel,
er. bring me some dog and coffee"
There was a smile all around the table
as the ranchers recognized the probabili>
ty OF a row between the general and the
new
Dog" yelled the general and ne
walked around to the opposite side OF the
table where ne could look his guest
squarely in the face. Dog, did you say ?
Do you take mt for a Sioux Indian?"
Al that moment when the general was
working himself into a rage, a sudden
thought occurred to him.
You want dog, do you? thought
you were a tenderfoot. but l see you are
an Indian; I'll fix you" With that he
strobe out of the room, cursing like a
pirate. while everybody laughed at him
for the joke the stranger had perpetrat-
ed.
Presently Campbell returned carrying
A large dish covered with a cloth, which
he sat down in front OF the guest. In
his right hand he carried a big revolver,
and while he removed the cloth with one
hand he covered the stranger with the
revolver in the other hand. The cloth
being removed. a litter Of puppies was
found sleeping in the dish.
Now, young man, you see that there
IS nothing that this house cannot sup
ply At a moments notice. You wanted
dog, and o you must eat"
The general had realized that some
one had perpetrated a joke on him and
ne thought TO turn it on the stranger,
but the young man from the east was
equal to the emergency. Without ap-
peartng to take notice of the big pistol
Or the generals threat, he carefully
reached over, selected the b~est-look.ng
puppy and began to prod it with his
fork. and in apparent seriousness tried
to u into the animal with his knife.
The generals hand became very shaky.
A.fter several trials the stranger called
for an oil stone, and with the creates;
d~eLiberatlon proceeded to sharpen the
knife. Sill the knife was not sharp
enough and grumb,ing at the hosei
which provided such dull knives, the
Stranger reached in his pocket and drew
out his W pocke;knife. A smile over
spread his face as he remarked that 81,
was over a week since he had had any
dog" then he proceeded, to all appear,
ances TO carve the pup. which set up a
cry of pain.
Now, these puppies were pedigree
hounds which had cost the general con-
siderable time and money, and he he,
came alarmed at the strangers apparent
fondness for them. Grabbing the strang-
er's hand, he seized the dogs, remark,
ing: See here, you Indian, this Is a
whiteman's ranch. and If you want any,
thing to eat you will have tt take cat,
fish or Texas steer: that's al we've got"
Amid a roar OF laughter he carried away
his puppies.
That's the last time I aver tried to
work off n joke on a stranger" said
Campbell. in %recounting the story, land
it was the last time that I ever boosted
that my house could furnish anything q
man wanted to eat."-New York; Sun.
OMAHA-CHICAGO SHORT LINE.
The magnificent Limited train OF the
Chicago Milwaukee and st. Paul rail.
way leaves the Union Pacific depot at
Omaha daily at 5:46 p. M, arriving in
Chicago at SIS the mex morning. En-
tire train lighted by electricity and
heated by steam. Ask for ticket via the
Milwaukee Route"
F. A. NASH,
General Western Agent,