Morris tribune., 1897-08-04
A BAD DOLLAR.
KEp~rfences of q Man Who Got It Inno-
Gently, but Wasn't Believed.

| cenClyS Out WASN'T oen0Ve0s
A large, red whiskered man, with
deep set little eyes, great splay
crows feet round the sockets, a
miraculous hat and bushy hair
struggling out under the brim like
an overlapping load of hay, came
putting into "a Wentworth avenue
trolley car and in a voice loud
enough for the size of his audience
told about the troubles he was suf-
fering on account of counterfeit
silver dollar that had been palmed
off on him.
First he paid his fare with soil
tary nickel Then he carefully I'm
wrapped the spurious coin from the
folds of big sheet of yellow paper.
held it at arm s length and regarded
it with one long, furnishing look of
tender regret. By this time the eyes
of the occupants were upon him.
Looks good enough to pass all
right, but she won't" he began.
CounterfeitG" asked the man
who sat at his left, reaching for the
coin and examining it critically.
"a little light, guess. Feels
little greasy too. Still it looks like
it would go all right in contribu
ton box or in a west side saloon.
But it's done for now Its race is
run. It'll not fool any more people
You see, it has been marked. They
had me up in the secret service Office
today and marked it.
Eyes, but it's strange they didn't
confscate it. What are you doing
with it now2"
"Wait2 That's just what I'm
going to tell you. This dollar has
been more trouble to me than my
mother-in-law Now, I'm not going
to lose it in the end, after all this
trouble. / can't afford to lose dol
lar l know where got it, and I'm
going to get my good dollar back.
Understands l got this queer coin
from a grocer out where I live in
the stockyards district. l don't sup
pose he knew he was showing the
queer, but he's got to hand back my
good dollar all the same
Troubles no name for it, and I
might have been put in Jail. Ny
daughter innocently offered to pay
for a music lesson with this coin.
1t was refused and she came home
disgraced and bawling. Still, I
wouldn't believe it was counter
felt and allowed my wife to take it
to go down town shopping on a bar
gain day She came back so mad
because the cashier girl had slam
med it down before a lot Of people
to test its ring and then showed it
back with a loud Bogus, madam
that there was weeping and wailing
in the house for three days.
$50 today, still believing the dol
lar was good and that these smart
people who refused it didn't know
it all, Invent down town to see what
there was in the old piece of money
for myself. | went, ! saw, but
didn't conquer-in fact, I'm con-
graduating myself to think l didn't
get into Jail. You see, it was this
way: | had to pay some money due
from me at the internal revenue
Office offered this dollar among
other money, but the man in the
revenue Office got onto it right away
rubbed his fingers over it kind of
carelessly. and with smile that
would have done credit to devil
fish remarked You're gettin your
work down pretty fine, but not quite
good enough for Uncle Sam. If you
don t mind, you might just step over
with me to Captain Porter's Office
and explain where you got it.
This Mr.. smarty politely showed
me the way to the secret service
Office, where / was introduced to an
elderly man with white hair. |
think they said his name was Por-
ter Mr. Porter looked at the dollar
kind of affectionately and said:
We've got the mates to this fellow
right here in the Office, and guess
wen have to keep it with them. It |
would be lonesome if we let it go
out again. Then, after asking me
a lot of questions, he took some
tools and stamped the coin with the
figures s2427' and my initials under
meath. Now, can you swear where
you got it?' he said Yes, i can, |
said, and want to take it back
there and get my good money
can't afford to lose dollar. Then
he said that if | could swear to the
man got it from he would permit
me to take it back for that purpose.
But do not forget, he added, you
must return it to me promptly with
out fail, under penalty, etc. If you
don't, it will get you into trouble
Trouble, did he saya ASH hadn't
had trouble enough already R11t