Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-10-21

Spray-Oh, do try 1t now, should 30
like to see you!-Detroit Free Press.
Hell love you madly. She-That's
what you have already told my friend.
He-Yes. but since then have grown
more sensible.-Fliegende Blatter.
Never marry woman unless she
will follow you round the word" rs
l had money to 60 round the world,
wouldn't marry until got back."-Chi.
cago Record.
Impossible People: Whom were you
just now walking with, EdithY mo
body, mamma" That's what sus
pected. You must drop him at once"
Detroit Journal.
Pedestrian-Have you no occupation;
Beggar-Yes, sir; am a collector OF
rare coins. You haven't got spare
ten-dollar gold piece about you, have
,you?-Philadelphia Record.
Boblin-Wagley has had his bicycle
stolen. Looley-Is that so? Well, he
has the consolation Of knowing that it,
loss may prevent him from getting the
bicycle back.-Roxbury Gazette.
docs your wife object to your stay.
ing out SO late of nights?" "A little,
but what really raises her wrath Is foR
me to come home so quietly that she
doesn't know when I got in."-Indian.
apolis Journal.
Jibson-I thought you could keep
secret? Jabson-So l can. Jibson-
why didn't you keep the secret I told
you the other day? Jabson-BecausA
when you told 1t, it ceased to be a So
cret.-Puck.
Gaffer-Queer could never stand pros.
perity. Bland-Why? Gaffer-Just a.
soon as he began to make money, the
police swoOped down and arrested him
for counterfeiting.-Phil North
American.
do not insist, my dear! I sha'nt
tell you what l am going to give you1
for want to surprise you on our we'd
ding day." ''Tell me quickly, then, for
the greatest surprise would be to see
you keeping your word."-Journa1
Amusant.
Jenks-Doctor, have frequent and
intense desire to kiss young and beauti.
full girls. Do you think ought to get
married? His doctor-No; under those
circumstances you'd better not get mar.
ried.-The Yellow Book.
II have read repeatedly" said the
sad-eyed young man, never to ask
young lady's permission when you
wished to kiss her." "Well, hope you
didn't" said his friend. "No, didn't;
but the young lady, think, does not
read the papers. Puck.
II am afraid" said Maud, thought.
fully, that Willie Wibbles will never
come here again." did he go away In
a pet" asked Mamie. swell, some Of
him did. Just before he started, my
dear little dachshund bit piece out Of
im."-Washington Star.
"What a lovely bouquetv Eyes; I'm
taking it to Mrs. Wells, as this Is hel
birthday" But thought you were
not on very good terms with her now"
Neither I am, but this Is her f0rtieth
birthday, and she knows that am the
only one who knows it."-Judy.
| "May I ask" said the stranger, what
that party Of men ISL" Certainly" re-
| piled Derringer Dan; ''it's vigilance
| committee. Ell you happen to think Of
| 1t, you might ask me ag' in In fifteen or
twenty minutes" "Win 1t be something
else thenw yep; coroner's jury
Washington Star.
| Ibid you get an invitation to that
little blowout Nudge is going to giveY'
II haven't yet. What sort Of an affair
is IT." HE told me over the telephone.
| and l am not quite sure whether he
said stag party or jag party" real
| ~, now, what Is the differenceY PIN
| dianapolis Journal.
A minister who formerly preached in
Somerville had little boy. A few
| days before his father left the city to
| 20 to his new parish one Of his neigh
bors said to the little boy: $50 your
father is going to work In New Bedford
Is he p 'Oh, no." he said; "only preach"
| -Somerville Journal.
| "Miss Passleigh has had exceptional
social advantages" said one young
woman. 'She has been presented to
the queen" ITS strange that never
heard of it." replied the other. "Oh,
she never mentions 1t. You see, 1t oc-
Cured SO soon after her majesty's coro-
| ion."-Washington Star.
| Traddles-Don't bother yourself try-
ing to invent q flying machine. old man.
II you want to make q hit invent .
kicking machine. The Inventor-What
would I do with It? Traddles-Why,
set 1t up where 1t will catch the crowd
on the way home from the races
! Town Topics.
A country curate calling on the great
lady of the village introduced his newly
married wife as "a poor thing, madam,
but mine own" whereupon the lady.
| looking upon the curate severely. re-;
piled: "Your wife ought to have intro
duced you as poorer thing. but mine
| owner Thine and the Hour.
"Do you think your sister likes me,
Tommy Yes, she stood up for ron
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