The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-07-25


uncalled-for goods. She must go out, and
for herself learn what outrageous things
her husband does when he is downtown
of nights. She resolves to disguise her
SELF but alas! she has nothing but articles
of feminine wear. But she is quick
witted, and she determines to trade the
leftover heliotrope skirt for masculine
attire, In which she will dress herself and
pursue her wicked husband, and find out
what he does when out Of her presence.
Then she will get her divorce"
The others looked at Mr.. Horton admir-
ingly for a moment, and then little Miss
Vie broke in with: But what about the
extra pair of trousers?"
Horton tried to respond promptly, but
the fatal flaw was apparent, and he sat
down. while Miss Vic went on to say;
Now, 1 think it must be this way: This
dressmalSer is a poor. sweet, striving sort
of a little thing, who has an ambition to
be Thought well of by the neighbors She
has come up from the farm TO live in
great city, and has become thoroughly ac-
climated to the niceties of city life OBJ
serve that She says trousers and not
pants thereby indicating a natural per-
ception Of the properties. She has re-
ceived letters from her uncle william
Henry Bosworth, to the effect that him
self and his young son are going to come
to Chicago to visit her. She is Mortified,
for she knows somewhat of the manners
and ways of these simple rustics. She
knows that they will come to her in blue
oVeralls and jumpers, and will possibly
have large, honest patches upon them
This she cannot tolerate in the classic
neighborhood of Indiana avenue. So she
resolves, with great heroism, to sacrifice
her chief d'oeuvre OF dressmaRing, her
magnificent heliotrope skirt, for a suit of
city clothes for the old man and a pair
of trousers for the boy. She can make
the boy a waist out of the waist of the
dress. Think of the tender self-denial Of
It."
The boarders were all pervaded by a
sweet senses of admiration for the good
little dressmaker from the country, until
Basset suddenly declared that as the adj
vertjsement mentioned nothing in the way
of size-an omission which a dressmaker
would not make--he questioned the sinceri-
ty of a little transplanted ruraAite. For
my part" he said II think it is a case
of burglary"
Burglary" the others chorused. Bur
glary by advertisement"
About that way My idea is that the
advertiser leaned out a third-foor window
and threw that advertisement to a hui
name passer-by on the street, and the
| latter mercifully caused 1t to be printed.
believe that investigation will show that
| the house whose location is given in
| that ad' is at this moment occupied by
a frenzied man, who Is walking around
in a heliotrope dress skirt lamenting for
| his clothes. His wife is away from home,
and he has been Sleeping in the house
| alone. In the silent watches Of the night
a burglar has slipped into the premises
and has stolen all the fellow owned on
earth except his nightshrt. Possibly the
victim awoke-I rather guess he did-and
his waking alarmed the thief SO that the
latter broke and ran with his plumber,
hon IN O. a
trope brocaded skirt which he had stolen
| elsewhere earlier in the night. T.iink of
that poor wretch doomed to confinement
at home with nothing to wear but some
other fellows wife's hellotrope skirt! He
dares not so out into the street in such
attire, for he will be arrested as the rob
Der who stole the skirt and also for mas
querading in feminine attire. All he
could do was to fire that 'ad out of
window and sit down ard wait. Now,
were one of us to go to that house with
the clothes asked for in the paper, we
would be talked to through the closed
door 1 have no doubt We certainly
would not be able to see this fellow In
his unfortunate and humiliating plight
But" ventured Miss Halpin of the
avenue choir, why should he advertise
for two pairs of trousers?'
"Wen. 1 suppose he is an honest fellow,
and that he intends to give the extra pair
to the real owner of the skirt If he ever
should turnup."
"Ohw cried Mrs. Stookers, that isn't It
at all. ! guess l know. The woman is
a married woman, who has bought hello
trope skirt as her only treat In seventeen
years. She is married to skinflint OF
husband who makes her presents OF ci-
CARS and household supplies. In desper-
alton of desire, she went one day and
bought this skirt. There has been trouble
| - ed. hoe 1.
er comes home without telling her that he
could have got whole suit of clothes for
that amount OF money and of late he has
got to telling her that he could get a suit
and an extra pair Of trousers This had
so embittered her that the skirt Is no long
er pleasure TO her. AT last, turning, the
poor worm has advertised to trade the
beautiful heliotrope skirt for the quantity
Of clothes which her husband brutally
mentions as its equivalent. When she
gets the suit and the extra pair Of trous-
ers, / fancy / can see her marching I'm
with the air Of queen and saying; Here,
sir-here are the clothes. Take them.
Wear them. May you get much pleasure
out OF them " And Mrs. Stookers smil-
'Rut the slxe-the ht?" Horton sus-
! eested.
Much she cares whether they ht him
or not. II she has the right spirits she
would much prefer giving him suit
twelve circumference too large or too
small for him"
"Oh, I don't like 10 think Il IL that
way" murmured the romantic Miss Hem
mers, who sells bargains la books AT one
OF the downtown stores. II think Il must
be a much more lovely story than that.
My idea IL that this Is a young woman
who has long loved a worthy but i'm
poverishod man. The elusive dream OF
future wedding day has danced before
their vision for weary years. AZ last the
tender heart Of the woman moves 10 ask
her afilanced why he need DO unwilling to
add his poverty 10 hers right away, and
ne tells her the horrible truth. lie has
been wearing the same pair Of trousers
for six seasons. and they are getting too
fragile for such q project as o march 10
a wedding. Then she rays that she loves
him now more than ever. and that she
will remedy the 90. 50 she adverlises-
tearfuily. Tor she loves the heliotrope
Rown-and when she gets the suit and tho
extra pair OF trousers. she viii go to him
and say. Come Reginald, this Is my little
wedding present 10 you, ana N they need
mending az any time. ! guess I'm the one
that knows how 20 DO the Job"