davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
An Exnert In stale Lager.

A well known newspaper man was once
a witness in the police court in case in
which a saloon keeper was charged with
selling lager beer during the prohibition
era. Captain Tom Glenn appeared for the
defendant. The reporter was placed on the
stand for the prosecution. The witness tes-
titled to having tasted the beer, which was
being sold under the name of ''rice beer, "
after il was brought to the police station
and sworc to the best of his judgment that
it was stale lager beer.
Captuin Glenn took the witness and
smiled confidently as he asked:
"You say it was stale lager beer you
tasted?' placing heavy emphasis on the
word "stale.'
eyes, sir. )"
"Isn't it true that people who drink
lager beer always drink it fresh:"
eyes, sir, that is true"
"Then tell the court how you ever be
came an expert on stale beer.
The question seemed n clincher, but the
reporter composedly replied:
"When was a youth, my father used to
keep keg beer ut home in summer, and on
account of my cage did not allow me to
drink it. When the keg became fiat OF
stale, it was rolled under the woodshed
and fresh one put on tap. / would go TO
the woodshed at the eventde and partake
freely of what was left in the discarded
kegs. In fact, you might say, Captain
Glenn, that / was raised on stale lager
beer
The witness was told TO "come down. I"
Atlanta Constitution.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
The Old Cambridge Bridge.

You now cross the bridge at night
through circle of radiant lights glancing
in brilliant lines through all the suburbs,
but i'm the old nights there was here and
there in the distance dim oil lamp. In
time oil gave place to kerosene, then came
gas, then electricity, and still the brighter
the lamps the more they multiplied. The
river itself was different. There were far
more vessels and / have myself been hail
ed on the bridge and offered money TO pi-
lot coasting schooner TO Watertown.
Seals also came above the wharfs and
gave Lowell the material for one of his
best stories, but one which he never, i
think, quite vcntured to print. He saw
two farmer lads watching from the bridge
one of these visitors as he played in the
water. "Waal, neaow," said one of the
youths, "be them kind o. critters common
up this way, do we suppose? Be they-or
be theyy" "Waal," responded the other,
"dunno's they be and dunno ez they be. ="
This perfect flower of New England speech,
twin blossoms on one stem, delighted Low
ell hugely, and IL was so unexampled in
my own experience that it always inspired
In me slight distrust, as being too good
To be true.-Colonel Il. w. Higginson in
Atlantic.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
All Books g.ve Their Uses.

ais there any book in the library for
which there has never been call?' said
Librarian Hid rs he repeated the question
which he had been asked "Well, there
may be- but really shouldn't like to bet
that there is. On the contrary, it seems
safe 10 say that every book in the library
has been called for Mt some time or other
since it has been in our collection. Every
book, even those that seem most useless to
most people, has its use, and somebody is
able to find some Information for which
he is searching in that very book which
perhaps seemed likely never to be called
for. l have just had good proof of this.
Recently we moved about 10000 books
over TO the new library building on Mich
igan avenue. OF course, those which were
transferred were those for which we be-
lieved no one would ever be likely to call.
They were ancient patent office reports,
old documents issued by the British gov
eminent and old public documents from
Washington. But not "a week has passed
since then that we have not had to send
over to the new building at least ten times
for some book or other that we had
thought no one would ever demand. -
Chicago Times Herald.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
A TRUE BEAR STORY.
A Yellowstone Park Bruin Gives n Gress
Moral Lesson to Parents.

Speaking of law and the enforcement of
discipline in Yellowstone park, / heard the
story of bear there which / consider ex-
ceedingly important not only as a comment
on the discipline Of the park, but us u NOR
al lesson TO parents in domestic obedience.
The story is literally true, and if it were
not | should not repeat it, for it would
have no value. Mr.. Kipling says, "The law
of the Jungle is-obey This also seems
to be the law of Yellowstone park There
is lunch station at the upper basin, near
Old Faithful, kept by a very intelligent
and ingenious man. He got acquainted
last year with a she bear, who used to come
to his house every day and walk into the
kitchen for food for herself and her two
cubs. The cubs never came. The keeper
got ON very intimate terms with the bear,
who was always civil and well behaved
and would take food from his hand with
out taking the hand.
One day toward sunset the bear came to
the kitchen, and, having received her por-
ton, she went out OF the back door 20 car
ry it to her cubs To her surprise and an
ger, the cubs were there waiting for her
she laid down the food and rushed at her
infants and gave them rousing spank
ing. "Shc did not cuff them; she spanked
them. and then she drove them back into
the woods cutting them and knocking
them at every step. When she reached the
spot where she had told them to wait, she
left them there and returned to the house.
And there she staid in the kitchen for
two whole hours, making the disobedient
children wait for their food, simply to dis
cipline them and teach them obedience.
The explanation is very natural. When
tl,,,.
place and goes away i'm search of food for
them, if they stray away in her absence,
she has great difficulty in finding them.
The mother knew that the safety of her
cubs and her own peace of mind depended
upon strict discipline i'm the family oh,
that we had more such mothers In the
United States !-Harper's Weekly.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
A CLOSE" Shave.

"What makes my face 50 dry and
dusty?" asked a man in ono of the chairs
at the hotel barber shop.
you shave too close, =" replied the bar
bcr you get down under the skin and
irritate it,
well, have to shave close. don't
want to bother with shaving every day, so
l get shave every other day, and then get
good, close one.
There's no need of that, replied the
barber. There isn't so much difference
between single going over and very
close shave After the razor has been over
your face once you can still feel fine stub
BILE BY n second or third scraping you
can get the face feeling perfectly smooth.
But in three hours time the beard has
grown out to where il was after the first
going over. What mean is that you save
only about three hours 10y getting what we
call close shave, and for "a man who
shaves every other day that isn't much of
an advantage. Besides IL irritates the face
and is liable To make the skin hard and
scaly. A man who shaves himself simply
goes over his face once. But i'm barber
shop the customer thinks ne is not getting
the worth of his money unless the barber
scrapes for about ten minutes To get rid of
that extra three hours growth of beard. "
Chicago Tribune.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
The Pig was stolen.

Whether ga lie well told and stuck to
afterward is as good Us the truth" was de-
bated at the dinner table where man was
sitting one day, and it brought out the
following story from % rather dyspeptic
looking man, who had eaten very spar
ingly:
Il used to live in the country" said he.
zone OF my noighb0rs, am unlucky, UNI
thrifty sort of man, killed "a pig one day
with the aid OF "a local butcher. by jinks,
Sum, l hate TO cut up that pig. Why
Cause, you see, IN OWN most everybody
here piece OF pork, and il l cut up tho
pig I'll have to give most of him away.
Il tell you what to do, said the butcher.
What's THAR Ia have the pig hung up
outdoors till IL o'clock al night, then take
him in and give out the next morning that
he's been stolen. BY iinks, Ill do it.
1T was wonderfully fine plan, the
farmer thought and he left the PIG hang
ing out as the butcher suggested.
"At IL o'clock the butcher himself came
along and packed the pork into his cart.
1t was not there when the farmer went out
after it,.
1.-THE next day, with a long face, he adj
dressed the butcher in hoarse whisper:
Il say, Sam, somebody did really steal
that That's right, said the butcher,
same time. But, by jinks, the pig was
really stolen. That's right. You stick to
that and you'll be all right, said the
butcher encouragingly, and he hurried off,
leaving his friend in most bewildered
state of mind, from which / don't think
he ever fully emerged Pearson Week
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

oSardships Of the Union Army After the
Battle of the Wilderness.

General Horace Porter draws the follow
Ing picture of wartime experiences in his
"Campai gning With Grant i'm The Cen
tury The continual rain was most dis
heartening. On May 10 Grant wrote to
Halleck: 1--WE have had five days almost
constant rain, without any prospect yet of
its clearing up. The roads have now be-
come SO impossible that ambulances with
wounded men can no longer run between
here and fredericksburg All offensive OPP
erations must necessarily cease until we
can have "a hours of dry weather. The ar
my is in the best of spirits and feels the
greatest confidence in ultimate success
The elements alone have suspended
hostiltes. "
In the Wilderness the army had to strug-
gle against fire and DUST now it had TO
contend with rain and mud An ordinary
rain, lasting for day or two, does not
embarrass troops, but when the storm
continues for week it becomes one of the
most serious obstacles in campaign The
men can secure no proper shelter and no
comfortable rest; their clothing has no
chance To dry, and IA tramp of a few miles
through tenacious mud requires as much
exertion as an ordinary days march
Tents become saturated and weighted with
water, and draft animals have increased
loads and heavier roads over which to haul
them. Dry wood cannot be found cook
ing becomes difficult; the mems spirits
are affected by the gloom, and even the
most buoyant natures become dishearten.
ed 1t is much worse for an army acting
on the offensive, for il has more marching
to do, being compelled to move principally
on exterior lines.
Staff officers had to labor day and night
during the present campaign in making
reconnoissances and in cross questioning
natives, deserters, prisoners and fugitive
negroes in an attempt to secure data for
the purpose of constructing local maps
from day to day. AS soon as these were
finished they were distributed to the sub
ordinate commanders. Great confusion
arose from the duplication of the names of
houses and farms. Either family names
were particularly scarce In that section OF
the state os elsS che people we're united by
close ties Of ~eystinpship and country
cousins abounded to confusing extent.
So many farmhouses in some of the local
tiles were occupied by people OF the same
name that when certain farms were desig
mated in orders serious errors arose al
times from mistaking one place for an.
other.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
True to Life.

The early patroness of Burns, Mrs. Dun
Top of Dunlop, had an old housekeeper, an
especially privileged person, who had GER
tain aristocratic notions Of the family dig
nifty which made the admiration of her
mistress for the rustic poet Incompetent
sible To her. In order TO overcome this
prejudice Mrs. Dunlop gave her copy of
1.-The Cotter's Saturday Night which the
poet had just written
The old housokeeper read the poem, but
when her mistress inquired her opinion of
it, she replied with Indifference, "Aweel,
madam, that's vera wecl
"ls that all you have 10 say in it's ia
yory" asked Mrs. Dunlop in amazement.
Indeed, madam" returned the old
woman, 'the like o your quality may see
vast deal in Z. But | was aye used to
the like o all that the poet has written
about in my ain fathers house, and din
ma ken how he could haze described it ony
other way.
1t is said that Burns counted the old
housekoeper's criticism one of the highest
compliments he had ever received.
He probably valued IL as greatly as n
writer OF New England stories values n re;
mark once made to her by an old man.
~ should think when you're writin
stories you'd like to kind o. make up
things more, " said this aged critic in
tone of kindly reproof Now my wife
and were talkin about your last book the
other day, and my wife says to me, Why,
John, there's just such folks and such
things happenin right in this very town
as she's written down in this book, and
most likely been we'll paid for, and l
couldn't stand up for We against her, for
knew twas the truth. Youths Com
panion.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
FANNY kEMBlE.
a keminiscence Of the Famous Actress
Who Hated All Men.

Az one looks back over period of 10 or
IL years on the people who have crossed
onc's path I'm that time, what "A strangely
confused mass of images appears! Some
are OF absorbing interest others very
much the reverse, but all alike, from sheer
force of numbers, are blurred and indis-
tinct Tonight some of these passing fig
ures have disentangled themselves from
the crowd and become clear and vivid. Let
me try to photograph them-it will only
be snapshot-before they fade into the
miSts again.
First | sec n small and somewhat fierce
Old lady of a wonderfully dignidcd pres
tnce. The scene is u mountain hotel high
In the Alps. j can hear the waterfall be-
hind 1t now and the tinkling of the cow
bells and distinctly remember my fright
on being presented 10 the aforesaid old la
dy by the kind hostess with whom both
she and were staying in these words:
Mr.. kemble, this young woman is a
great friend of mine"
A pair of piercing eyes scanned my face,
and there was u terrible pause before "a
deep, tragic voice made the embarrassing
reply, lis she IA good young womang'
1t was somewhat difficult to call up the
right expression at such short notice, but
else fortunately distractng her attention
my morals were not further gone into on
that occasion.
There was something regal something
of the stage queen, in Fanny Kembles APP
pearance, and her entrance into the table
d'hote room of an evening might, from its
ceremonious dignity, have been that of u
sovereign into the throneroom. How she
terrified us all, and how she snubbed us
all in turn, especially the old gentlemen
of the party, until not one of them could
be got to sit next her at table! She hated
all men, we were told, for the sake of the
husband she had separated from long ago.
Any of the small courtesies of society Of
fered by them were resented as insults,
and well do l recollect one of the most
courteous of men saying TO her one night
at dinner, "Do you think, Mrs. Kemble,
that we could get up n rubber of whist
this EVENING"" and her cutting reply across
the table, Il don't know If you can;
can't"
She had great fancy for bilberries and
complained that we young people never
thought it worth while to bring in any
fruit except Alpine Strawberries, so my
brother and /, wishing to give the old Ia
dy treat, gathered great basketful and
presented them to her. Unfortunately she
was not in good mood that day, and we
were well snubbed for our pains. Poor
Fanny Kcmblei The troubles of life had
imbittered her, but there was much that
was loyablc when she let her better nature
have play, and / can recall unexpected
softness at parting which gave u glimpse
of the kind feeling within. She may have
been pretty as Il young woman, but there
was no trace of beauty when l met her,
though the remains of considerable grace
of manner and gesture. chambers Jour
nn1
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
RANDOM READING.

To find green places by the dusty way.
To catch a glimpse of hazy, boundless blue
Inlaid with glttering streaks OF starry hue,
Where, on the faroff pillows. sunbeams play,
In somber shade through woodland walks to
stray,
Close woven foliage yelling all the view.
And spy a dappled brook the branches
through
These sudden joys enchant summer day.
But for the cheerless days when nature grieves
And earth is dead. where shall such Joy be
sought,
Though winds be wailing round the wintry
eavesf
This, to the spirit, with like bliss is fraught-
OF some untrodden book To part the leaves,
And, roaming through, seize many shining
thought.
Dora Cave in New York Tribune.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
A Chicago solomon.

Justice of the Peace Bonnefoi is known
IL Chicago as the North Side Solomon. "
Two neighbors had quarreled over the
ownership of a mongrel dog. There had
been several continuanccs, witnesses had
been sworn and countcrsworn and lawyers
had wrangled until the justice and the
spectators as well were all mixed as to the
nature OF the original proposition. To-
ward the close of "a wordy session, a butch
er's boy, who had stolen into the court
with basket of fresh meat for his employ
er's customers, started To leave the room
The dog, which had been tied to "a leg of
the Justices desk, smelled the meat, gave
a tug that broke the string and bounded
down the stairs after the butchers boy.
The crowd was on the point Of rushing out
to capture the fugitive dog, when Bonnefoi
sang out; "Hold on there II anybody
leaves the room, I'll fine HIM for contempt
Of court Let that tam dog CO." And
the dog went. and went so well that the
litigants failed to recover him, and the
case was dropped. San Francisco Argo-
naut.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
THE CITY BEAUTIFUL.
Jerusalem Il Not Disillusionizing To the
Western Visitor.

western NisttOr.
In The Century an article on "The
Miracle of the Greek Fire" by Richard
Watson GiltIr, describes the scenes of
Holy Week i'm Jerusalem. Mr. Glider says:
A city beautiful On Palm Sunday,
from the stairway near the spot where
Mary stood when the body Of her Son was
taken from the cross, 1 saw the Greek pro-
cession in the Church of the Sepulcher.
Then ! went over to the Mount of Olives.
Looking back from IA field well up on the
hillside, the whole city lay beneath-the
temple area with the great mosque in full
view across the valley of Jehoshaphat.
From here Jerusalem, with its clear and
stately outline of walls, the domes and
minarets of the mosques, and the old tow
ers and churches, has a singular complete
ness. Perhaps even i'm Solomons time,
from the outside, though different, IL was
not more lovely. The warm gray of the
stones of the city is the color of the I'M
bleached wool of goats The hills are dark
er, with a delicate bloom over them, spot
ted with gray olive orchards and melting
in the distance into violet. 1t is indeed
city set upon hill, isolated, distinguished
The picture realizes ones lifelong dream
of the city of God.
The sunset sky was wild and cold, with
streaks of sunshine. The rain ceased and
the air grew warm. In the rich, low light
all blemishes were lost, and the City Beau
tiful was spread before the pilgrims eyes.
Perhaps 1t was heard that Christ wept over
Jerusalem. Along or near this path he
must have come on the day of his Gentry"
on the first Palm Sunday, whose feast was
being kept this very day throughout all
Christendom. There were no other trav-
elers few Syrians passed by. / gath
cred some flowers by the wayside and
turned again hOmeward
You see that we did not find the Holy
Land disillusioning There are many
things that confound the western mind.
There are filth and degradation and super
stition. But here are the same sky, the
same landscape, the same dominating
orient. The painter who knows the Holy
Land best said to us in Jerusalem, "At
times when / look at these fields and real
ize that this very picture was reflected in
the eyes of Jesus feel myself SILVER T"
The Bible, no matter what ones theology
or philosophy, here takes on vitality and
meaning beyond the power of conception
hitherto. Are the places real? Jerusalem,
all Syria, is real, and some of the sacred
places" are unquestionable But you do
not have to be sure that the place is exact
when you listen, with new emotion, to
the words of Jesus repeated by the French
monk on Good Friday, and at that "sta-
ton of the cross where Christ cried out,
Daughters of Jerusalem, weep not for
me, but weep for yourselves and for your
children"
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
The Glass Snake.

The superstition that the glass snake
breaks i'm pieces at a sudden alarm and re-
unites its various parts after the danger Is
over arises from the fact that when threat
encd with attack by bird or animal this
snake throws off its tail, which wiggles
about on the ground and abstracts the at
tention of the enemy while the snak'
makes its escape. This peculiar means o.
eluding attack is practiced also by two or
three kinds of lizards. Both snake and liz
ards grow new tail in few weeks.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
General Felix Agnus.

General Felix Agnus, the proprietor Of
the Baltimore American, has been obliged
again to deny the story that when he came
TO this country he began his career as u
barber in this city. 81 came to this coun-
try" he says, under engagement as a
chaser and sculptor to the great firm OF
Tiffany g. Co. of New York, from which
establishment went direct to the ranks as
a private soldier, though not speaking
word of the English language. New
York Tribune.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
He Helped Him.

Tramp Ito Brown and Smith)-Gents,
will you help a poor, hungry cripplcf
Brown (impatiently)-No. Get out.
Smith--Don't be hard on the poor fell
low, Brown. Have you got shilling in
your pocket?
Brownies.
Smith-Let me have it. (Giving the
money to the tramp 1 may he soft
hearted, but 1 can't help it. It's my ma
turc, suppose. i hate TO see man 90
hungry just for want of shilling
Strand Magazine.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

Maximin was the only giant among the
Roman empcrors. He was ga feet in
height and very heavily built even for that
stature. He was Thracian (barbarian)
and rose to the imperial dignity by mill
tary skill and ability.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12
objection Sustained.

"And after the robbery you just took
walkY" asked the prosecuting attorney.
81 object" yelled the excited young
lawyer for the prisoner, Ito any such base
insinuationi The walk was nailed down
and Is still there. detroit Free Press.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

Wire fencing is manufactured by piece
of mechanism which was considered at Its
invention to DO almost miracle Of me-
chanical work. 1t Is SO intricate as to defy
description.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

"I WONDER" he said musingly, "why 1t
Is that girls wear boomers.
81 know" yelled her small brother.
"williel" she exclaimed, half threaten
ingly and half pleadingly.
"whyf" asked the caller with evident
amusement
"'Cause they won't admit they're old
enough to get into long pants" answered
WiiliA -Chicaro Post
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

The parapet projecting over the top Of
the wall and, pierced with holes to enable
the besieged to attack an enemy close to
the foot of the wall, was almost contempt
raneous with the wall.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

According to the official reports of the
Japanese government, the island empire
contains 65, $50 teachers. -Chicago Chron-
icle.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-05-12

The sea voyage from New York 10 Am.
stertiam II 3, $40 knots.