The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-31
TOLD by TRAVELLERS.


at the banquet rendered to Hon. VIM.
J. Bryan and visiting statesmen at the
Capitol hotel. during his recent visit to our
city said a knight of the grip. "a coun-
tryman. under the impression that tho af-
fair was open to all corners marched into
the handsome dining hall ard took a seat
at the table. He was reminded that he had
taken the seat of Mr. -, as marked on
the envelope containing the mcnu card at
each plate. and quickly moved to the next
place. Presently the guest for that place
came in and called the yahoo's attention to
the fact that he occupied his scat. remark
ing: There's my name on the envelope
All right came the reply you can have
the envelope, stranger. l don't want It.
And the follow from the country kept his
seat, while the guest sought the vacant
place Of one absent. Four kinds OF wine
we're literally served as the banquet pro-
ceeded. and just as fast as the yahoos
glasses were filled he emptied them with
a grunt, while he cleared his plate ut each
course At the last came pate dc fole gras.
served with Roman punch. after eating
which the stranger, overcome with the
mixture of so many wines. remarked to the
guest on his left My friend. that beef
liver and ice cream was too much for me;
l must CO. And he bolted the gathering"
~ was along the Houston East and West
Texas railway the past week, and stopped
for dinner in a sawmll village. where
hashery is conducted by the wife Of one OF
the mill hands" said Tom Russell. THE
food is tough, and meal usually comprises
dish OF fried bacon. swimming in grease,
yellow jaundice biscuits and boiled coffee,
for which the modest landady charges 'us
drummers' a half a dollar. while anyone
else is asked to pony UP but n quarter. On
the wall in the place called the dining
room hangs the motto Feed My Lambs
On this occasion, as stepped in tho dining
room met Ed II. Harrell. who had just
about finished his meal, and the disgust on
his usually smiling countenance was plain
ly visible. as he got up from the table and,
taking out his wefl filled wallet. asked the
landlady how much?' Half dollar. sir,
was the response. All right. madam said
Ed but would suggest to you ono thing.
and that is that you take down that motto
up there ard place one there instead read
ing Shear My Lambs"
Ike Walker told the following at Post C's
headquarters last Sunday morning: II was
in Joe Goldmans crockery store yesterday
and he was seated at his desk. apparently
busy with his books. His Uranium ~vas
covered with the old travelling cap he used
to wear when he was selling goods on the
road. and looking through the bewildering
array Of crockery, statuary, etc, all that
could be seen OF him was his head and cap.
An cid lady was looking about with view
10 purchasing something odd for wedding
present. and noticed through her spec
tacles quaint figure. the head and Shout
deIs Of which appeared above the count
ers What IS that Chinese idol over there
WORTH she enquired Of the clerk waiting
upon her. That. madam replied the sales
man in a subdued tone. is worth about
S2o, 900; It's the proprietor, Mr.. Goldman.
NJ. D. Fuller sells shoes from Texas to
California. While on his last trip in Los
Angeles he called upon dealer. but found
him busy waiting on lady customer, who
seemed to be hard to fit on account Of hay
ing good sized foot. wearing a No. 8
shoe The dealer fumbled for some little
while in his stock In vain. and the nearest
thing he could find was No 4 Being 10th
to lose the sale. he told the customer: Ma
dame, ! haven't got No. s, but can give
you a No. T."
"Sevens?" replied the woman. scornfully.
who do you think | am-Cnderelia? and
with that she disappeared through the front
door,