The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-10-16

Eyes. her looks favor her mothers
people" "Indeedr "Oh, greatly. She
doesn't look bit like them."-Detroit
Journal
EYES," said Uncle Jonas, "that boy o
mine allus wus fond O. books, an now
he's becom' a page in the ligislatur."-
Philadelphia American.
Quericus-Do you know why this Il
often called q cold worldf Cynicus-
To distinguish 1t from the next, sup |
pose.-New York Journal.
Roberts Harry fond Of female so
ciety? Richard-Immoderately. I've
known him to play whist with thres
women.-Boston Transcript.
"Did you read that magazine article
on The Working Of BankT mo. II
it by an ex-bank president or an e1
urglar7"-Cincinnati Enquirer.
'sThe Turks seem to have q mighty
poor opinion of the Greeks" yes
that accounts for them running 'e0
down."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
"Few men have any trouble In meet
ing their creditors" says the ManayunE
Philosopher, 'but they do have trou.
bic in lodging OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Record.
Hell must have a kiss for every cara.
mel, dear. She-Some men would have
bought a whole box instead OF that
measley little paper bag ful.-Detroi'
Free Press.
Julia. have you bought q new sprlne
suit YETI" "No, I'll have to walt until
next month; Dick had to buy new
spring gun and two new spring nshlna
rods this month"
| He-Just listen how that hen cackles'
She doesn't know how little one ega
will sell for. She-Perhaps she does
She may be advertising O bargain
Somerville Journal.
Mrs. Jones-Wake up, John! There's
someone trying to get into the house
Jones-How do you know? Mrs. Jone'
The dog has stopped bowling. Hurry
JohnLNew York Journal. s--es,-r.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-I don't believe
man ever stole anything but he Ave<
to regret 1t. Mrs. Crimeonbeak-Yo'
stole my heart once, John. Mr.. Grim
sonbeak-Yes.-Yonkers Statesman.
"Joe got the inside track of his wifi
this year." "What did he do?" III
read her q whole lot Of newspape
stories Of men who had dropped deat
beating carpets."-Detroit Free Press.
Kerrigan-Phat's good fer cowld
Casey-Hov yez got tn proice Nv tw
hot WHISTLES about yez? Kerrigan-O
how not. Casey-WIll, thin, Kerrigar
ut wud be a mercy not Z tell yez.-
Puck.
Walker Farr-I thought your nez
tour was to have been through Sout
Africa. Count d'Ties-It was, but tn
; company struck. One Of them ha
read that an ostrich egg often weigh
dozen pounds.-Puck.
Amanda (alighting from her wheel
j the roadside, where Mortimer await
, her)-Have kept you waiting lon'
5 dear? Mortimer-Long? Many cycle
. have passed since the hour appointe
Q for our meeting.@Judge.
"You see, 1t was this way: The
were all three 80 dead in love with h'
and all so eligible that to settle Il
9 matter she agreed to marry the OF
e who should guess the nearest to h'
9 age" "And did sheT' II don't knoN
know she married the one who CUES
ed the lowest. "-Pearson's Weekly.
= A hereditary liar: Mrs. Jackson
: OATS sebenteen lies yo's tole me to
day. all diffrunt. Yo' am reglar "a
skillion. 'Rastus Jackson-W-whs
am a rapskillion, nanny? Mrs. JAG
SOMA rapskillion am young 'un dat
;. got his ladders blood In him-da,
whad a rapskillion am.-Judge.
"You don't mean to tell me You ha'
n gone and got engaged to two wom
"a at onceY Eyes, but 1t really amour
al to only one engagement-half an e
NJ Cagement for each girl" "Will -
70 please explain" "Why, certainl
M Each of 'em Is engaged to another 4
low."-Cincinnati Commercial TribuI
ID A yindication: 81 don't understal
why you dislike Herbert So" said N
% bel to her father. 81 don't think he b
any ideas of finance" Il am sure y
tb wrong him. He Is devoted to 1t.
hA stopped right In the middle Of his p
posal to me to ask how your busint
N, was getting Observation-Disclosures St
Mrs Commonstalk (soberiy)-A
you sure your fiancee will make &c
lite home-body, Eli? Do you. think
do knows anything about mending, for
stance? Cholly Commonstalk-Abt
mending, mother? Why, that Is
to very strongest point l saw her me
lily a busted tire once in just fourteen N
ro- utes by the watch.-Bazar.
nd Millionaire-You ask for the hand
ms my daughter. You are Journalist
ast believe, and journalists, am told,
bis scarcely earn their salt. Young Ed
with dignity)-You mistake, sir. !
M a newspaper man. ooh! Keep ne
NJ stand, 1 presume. Good, paying b.
rite ness! Take her, my son, and be b
, ,. OF py."-New York Weekly.