The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-03-24
QUEER CAUSE FOR DIVORCE.
Flock of Turkeys the Bone OF
Contention.

Contention.
From the Jacksonville CFla) Citizen.
A suit for divorce is pending in South
Florida court wherein a flock of turkeys
figures as the bone of contention that led
to the strained relations between a hus-
band and wife.
Mrs. Jones read an agricultural paper
one spring and, becoming fascinated with
the allurng profits of turkey culture, so
temptngly displayed in a row of fat fig
ures, pawned her jewels and bought an
incubator and all the turkey eggs she
could find in the neighborhood.
During the first year she lost money, but
was rich in an experience that enabled
her to readily diagnose and cure congest-
ed craw, sorehead, pip and other ailments
peculiar to the great American birds.
Mrs. Jones was a game woman and one
failure could not daunt her. The next
spring found her with a pair of tweezers,
pulling pips from the tongues of flock
of 1886 young turkeys or amounting their
heads with solution of nitrate of silver
At the end of the summer she had 81
in the hock-pretty well, considering, and
dreamed at night of Thanksgiving and the
$317 she hoped to realize from her venture
1t was at this period in the game that
the fun began.
Mr.. Jones planted watermelons and,
being prudent man, kept two bulldogs
to guard the crop.
1t was known in the neighborhood that
Mr. Jones kept these dogs, for he had
been careful not only to advertise that
fact, but laid great stress on the fierce
tempers of the CANNES having accepted
every challenge for a dog fight that came
his way, and in all instances came forth
with flying colors.
Every visitor to the Jones ranch, having
In mind the dogs, was careful TO stop al
the front gate and "holer' for admis-
sion.
one day a commission man came down
to buy Jones melon crop. 1t was a pretty
hot day. too.
The big flock Of turkeys was scratching
near by.
The commission man opened his mouth
and yelled, Hello. therer
This surprised the turkeys, which gave
| one grand concentrated
"Gobble, gobble. gobble, gobble."
The gobble drowned the call, so the
man yelled, again:
"Hello, therer'
"Gobble, gobble, gobble. gobble"
This made the man mad, but he was a
| courageous commission man, and he filled
his lungs fuller and shouted louder:
Hello, there!
This call excited the turkeys, which
echoed his call with another.
"Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."
There they had 1t up and down, first
| the man and then the turkeys. until the
man was as red In the face as a turkey
| gobbler, his forehead was reeking with
perspration, and his tongue hung out of
his mouth.
Finally he lost his voice, and, out of
sheer exhaustion, drew his pistol and fired
| IL into the air six times in succession.
Bang, bang, bang, bang bang bang.
Afterwards he became sorry that he did
| this, for the noise excited the bulldogs
which came forth from their kennels with
| a fierce Bow wow wow"
They leaped the fence, tore the seat out
Of the mans pants and chased him up
blackjack oak pretty lively.
This was at 10 o'clock. Mr. Jones at
that time was down in the grove blowing
| Mrs. Jones was over at a neighbours dis
cussing the babies and turkeys.
The two dogs dug two cool holes at the
foot of the blackjack and waited patient
| ~ for the man to come down, but for
some reason or other he wouldn't
| OF course the man used very bad Ian
| guage, which got to be worse and worse
as the hot sun blistered his face and the
rough bark on the blackjack limb found
a point of vantage on his south side.
1t was then that the man was exceeding
ly sorry that he had not saved four car
| tridges, two for the two dogs, one for Mr..
| Jones and one for Mrs. Jones.
Every now and then the dogs would
| cur around to more comfortable place,
during which operation they would
glance upward and bark angrily: Bow
| woww
This was always echoed by the turkeys
In a chorus of
"Gobble. gobble, goblet" with a rising
| infection on "gobble" No. /.
This made the man - mad. That's
the only way to express It. but IL has the
| merit of being true.
About ~ o'clock Mrs. Jones returned
| and, seeing the commission man in the
| tree, could not restrain herself, but
| laughed. She called the dogs off, and
while the poor chap slid down on the op-
posite side, she apologized TO him most
profusely, but during the whole proceed
ing eXasperated the commission man more
| and more by smiling as her thoughts re-
Cured to his ridiculous predlcament.
She was dainty little bit Of humanity
and he could not quarrel with her, but
this made him worse mad.
They reached the house finally, the
man being very careful to seek a dark
corner In the parlor. There she enter
tained him enthusiastically for an I'M