The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-08-06
H0KE OF SANDY BEND
THE FAMOUS JUDGE UNTANeLEs A
LEGAL MATRIMONIAL sNARL.

VINO rails to Shoot and Three
osher Men Who Arc HowIing For JUS
uce-Tho Judge Sizes Up tho Situation
and Performs Ceremony.
When the court at Sandy Bend had
peeh opened in due and legal form,
'uuse Hoke assumed what he consid-
''ou d proper judicial dignity and said:
ih1s ar case as we hev never had
afore us before, but we think we kin
s'raighten out the kinks and do jestice
~ aii. Three days ago that redheaded
crltter over thar who calls hisself Tom
ZONES come humpin down the trail from
Dig END to TX if thar was any law in
.hls kentry and to boiler fur jestice. He
had wife up thar at Big Find. He
Went home one evenin to find that she
haa Skipped out with another man. The
name Of that man was Abo Skinner,
ana that's him over thar with the bro
ken nose.
What ginerally happens out yere in
this land of gold and heather and hard
times when our wife runs away? If we
amt mighty glad of it, which we most
ly DO, we git OH to her tracks and foller
$3.50 w O'N1WhO llCI. IL bUC 3 nlOIle,
we take her by the ear and lead her
PACK. II she's with the critter, wo pop
nm over. Thar amt no law in the case,
out the custom is purity we'll known.
Inc man who steals another mans wife
expects to be popped by the injoored
husband, and he likewise expects to pop
that same injoored husband if he gifts
tho chance.
Tom Jones didn't pursoo. Thar was
the broad trail before him, and he had
guns and knives and boss, but he
hadn't the sand. He jest comes a hump
III down yere to holler fur tho law and
Shrek fur jestice, and to git all men.
lncludln this court, down on him fur
his doggoncness. His wife, who ar that
female over thar, with mouth as hiu
us bar'l, Ind gone off with Abe Skin
ner, as aforesaid, and had headed fur
TINS very camp. AS they flies from Big
Find they meets up with Jim Hope,
who's tho cuss over thar with the game
leg and one eye gone. Jim he stops 'em
and seq:
abe Skinner, what go got there?'
&c female.
"'Who is she?'
Tom Jones WIFE
And what yo' a-doin with herr
A-runnin away to Sandy Bend
Then you needn't go no furder.
I've bin wantin wife fur the last six
months, and 1 reckon I'll take her off
your hands
WAL" continued his honor, Jim
Hope he bad his gun plump OIL Abe
Skinner and his finger Ola the trigger,
and Abe had to give i'll. This yere court
can't Parn That the woman objected to
the change. On the contrary, thar is
evidence that she didn't keer CONT
mental, as Jim Hope is a better lookin
critter than Abe Skinner. The couple
heads this way by the trail, while Abe
Skinner takes short cut and arrives
fustly and comes to mo to yell fur jes-
tlce. Thar's two fcllers n-yelln fur
jcstice, and Il third one with the wom-
an. The woman gifts yere in doc time,
along with Jim Hope, and over by the
creek they meets Joe Scott, who stops
to say:
Jim Hope, Twas jest goin out to
hunt fur one
What ye mean to dog
81 want Il female woman fur
wife. and you git down and skip.
Thar was gun on jim, and he had
to give the woman up. This court can't
'arn that she shed tear or did any
kickin, but Jim he comes whoopin
down to me and wants law and jestice
and all that That makes three of 'em
a-wantin, and SO tells the constable to
arrest Joe and the woman. Ycre's four
mon and one woman, and the law pears
to be purity badly tangled up. Fustly,
Tom Jones, is this woman your wife?"
'Sartin she is, answered Tom.
Hev yo' got uocknents to prove it?"
mo, but married her i'll the Injun
Territory "a y'ar ago"
WAL, this yere court has nuthin to
do with the Injun Territory, and that
marriage won't stand yere onless the
woman wants it to. Mrs. Jones, as 1
will call ye, what made ye run away
from ToIn?"
SCOT tired Of him, replied the wo-
man.
"Do ye prefer Jim Hope or Joe Scott?"
81 amt pertickler.'
''That makes the case easier. Hank
Williams, stand up!"
Hank stood up and proved to be a
middle aged man of decent appearance
"Hank, dye want wife?' asked the
court.
81 dew" was the reply.
"Then I'll marry ye to this woman.
Both of We stand up yere."
"But say married heri'' persisted
Tom Jones.
81 know We say so, but the Injun
Territory don't go yere. What we is ar
ter is jestice fur all hands. The woman
didn't like SO and skipped. Ye didn't