The Owosso times. (Owosso, Mich.) 1897-1926, 1897-07-23

to accept very many invitations.
Plant of "a Congressman.
The life or a congressman would be
not only bearable. but attractive. were
II not for the drudgery IL entails" re-
marked a well-known congressman
from a western state. as he mopped the
perspiration from his brow and gazed
in most melancholy fashion at a pile
Of letters lying on his table. He was
seated in his room at Williard's, his
coat off and he had tucked q handker-
chief into the neck end of his shirt
wherewith to protect his collar and era
vat from the inro Is of the melting
mood. Documents, books, papers and
what not lay round In dlsorderly pro-
fusion, and at the hour of midnight he
was busily toiling In the efforts to re-
duce his correspondence from a mount
ain to molehill proportions. Just look
across the street." said he, land you
will observe seated In a cluster round
the cool corner of the Ebbitt House a
coterie or gentlemen, chatting and en-
Joying each others company. Three
hfths or the crowd are members of con-
gress, and while ! am penned up like
chicken in coop working into the
wee sma' hours, my worthy colleagues
nightly disport themselves in this fash
ION. They must either control pocket
poroughs or else shirk their labors and
take big chances. Perhaps, after all.
tney are the wiser. have taken the
fancy" continued the congressman. re-
hectlVely, that constituency has no
mercy on representative who Is known
TO be worker They just lie down on
him and think he likes 1t, and therefore
n Inns fhAx
as those they do, just to put him on
his mettle.
Enrages the Constituents.
II suppose you think 1 ought to en-
ploy stenographer to help me out in
my correspondence. 1 do occasionally
procure such assistance, but IL there is
anything which makes my people rag
ing mad it is to receive answers to
their letters written in a strange hand
with my signature alone appended.
They assume it is not my action but a
put up job just to get rid of the affair.
Occasionally / am obliged to dictate to
a stenographer formal reply acknowl-
edging receipt of the letter and stating
that the matter will receive attention
in due course, etc. / heard the other
day of a conversation which occurred
whom / had indicted such letters. Did
you hear from Congressman Blank in
reply to your letter. queried one. Yes.
I did; I received one of his - circular
letters! Did you hear from him?' Yes
replied the first; / got one Il the -
circulars, too!'"
When typewriters first came into use
a member of congress sent a typewrit-
RI Of n 10 M
returned 1t with pencil comment: "I'm
not so derned ignorant that can't read
handwriting; and you needn't send me
no letters printed like newspaper"
Ludicrous Mistake.
When c. c. Matson OF Indiana was
chairman of the committee on pensions
he employed young stenographer who
took letters rapidly in shorthand, and
wrote them out nicely on a typewriter.
On one occasion Mr.. Matson dictated
a letter beginning as follows: II am
very glad to hear from you"
In his rapid manipulation Of the type
writer the young stenographer struck
the wrong keys and wrote "gald" in
stead Of "glad."
Within a week Mr.. Matson received a
very indignant letter from his constit-
uent, saying: II have worked and
voted for you for years, and now you
say you are CALLED to hear from me-"
The congressman found considerable
difficulty in explaining to his irate
friend that he was glad" and not
"galled" to hear from him. The young
stenographer was finally obliged to
write to the man and deliberately eX-
plain how he had made the mistake on
his typewriter, and thus exonerate the
innocent congressman.
Hot Under the Collar.
The fools are not all dead yet. And |
the story-tellers have all been lucky in |
escaping the fool-killer also. They were |
in robust health and chuck full of spir- |
it's, of all kinds, when / glided into a |
popular hotel this afternoon and took |
part in a little seance. They were all |
men, and they were all hot |
under the collar, because congress has |
remained so long in session, and there |
has been no opportunity for a vacation.
But with the assistance of a few cleo
trio fans and with the active aid OF |
man who mixed lemonades, they be-
came good natured and told stories by |
the score Walter Washburn told about |
Tom Hannum, who was the wttiest |
man ever known in Washington jour
nalism He came from Philadelphia and
had consumption when he came here.
He lived six years. gradually dying,
and always joking. The newspaper
men secured an appointment for him
under the last administration and he
was sent to Texas as an inspector. Be-
fore leaving he was given dinner at a
leading hotel by his newspaper friends.
During the course of the evening Han
mum said:
IT think the Texas climate will do me
good. 1t is much like the Florida eli
mate, and many dying people have re-
covered in Florida. Consumption
can't kill a fellow in hot, dry air.
had a friend who was dying of con-
who went to Florida three
years ago. When he left Philadelphia
he only weighed ninety-three pounds.
At any rate, that is what the express
company charged his executor"
The Boy and the Geese.
Cluskey Cromwell narrated the story
Of the bad boy in North Carolina, who
was a son of Bill Nyes landlord. Nye
said that the boy would not work, but
he was constantly violating all OF the
laws of the house and of the state. His
father sent him out to round up the
geese and COOP them. The little cuss