The times., 1897-09-05
THE BOWsER TROUBLES.


called for food or money. clam-fed hog
had made many hours miserable, sand
flies and mosquitoes had beset them every
minute. and they had been lonely by day
and afraid by night.
Mr.. Bowser thought of all these things
on the fourteenth evening, as they sat at
the door gazing out at the sea and tanning
the mosquitoes away, and the more he
Thought the more angry he got. He had
rented the cottage for the season without
seeing 1t or knowing what county it was
IN. but 1t wasn't ms fault not according
To his doctrine He had lost ten pounds of
flesh, suffered indignity and insult iii
being thrown down by a hog an i'll being
'sassed'' by trainps, had been deceived
and lied to about the cottage He wanted
to pitch into somebody for all this, and as
Mrs. Bowser was the only one within two
miles of him he naturally turned upon her
Il suppose you feel hundred per cent
better for this outing?'' he began, as he
struck vicious blow at mosquito about
as big as bat, Gripping the insect for
life.
Il didn teome down here for my health"
she meekly replied.
'.ohi you didn't If not for health,
what them"
'.Tc please YOU
ITO please mel Woman, what are you
talking about? From January 70 July
you were talking about the seashore. You
gabbled by day and dreamed by night.
We never sat down to meal that you
didn't go ON about crabs and clans and
the moaning sea. You couldn't hear a
milk wagon drive past but what you com
pared the racket To the roaringo of the break
ers on the rocky shore. And now you sa
you came down here u please met
IL didn't want you to rent such a
place as this she stammered-
You didn't, eh? That's exactly what
You wanted a cottage by the sea-a place
off by ourseIves-a spot where we could
watch the waves foam and play and the
clans stand on their heads in exuberance
OF spirit found such a place, This is it,
There are the foaming waves. and over q
million clans are standing on their heads
along the Beach 1t has cost me hundred ds
of dollars and two weeks OF abject mis-
cry to cater to Your little romance, ana
now you have the Iace TO tell me that you
didn't want to come!''
Il don't think you have enjoyed it, sht
said.
How could you think so'' he thun-
dered, as he dropped his fan and struck out
with both fists at the mosquitoes. =
didn't expect 10 enjoy it-not an hour-but
1 was willing To sacrifice myself the same
as all other husbands. I have sacrificed
andI have met withtte usual reward. Mrs
Bowser. this thing must endl''
Her heart leaped for JOY at the words
but she maintained discre ct silence.
II have stood it as long as I propose 20
and tomorrow morning we start for homei'
Continued Mr.. Rowser. THAT is, DO. II
You want to remain here for the rest Il tie
summer, you can do 50. BY the great horn
spoon. but l am bitten at the rate OF 4 mil
lion bites a minutel'
He struck out right and left and danced
and then said:
Il have been bitten by 7-5j0,0 900 sand
flies; / have been bitten by 14,OOO,O00
| mosquitoes. tons and tons OF malaria have
been poured into nay syst EN- from that olC
marsh, and it viii take a train load .
! medicine and ten years OF dosing to Hake
me what was the day came down here
To please you
WHY do you persist in saying it "a
| to-"
| Woman, don Interrupt mel'' he shouted
as the bite Of veteran mosquito liftet
hin off his chah. we came here to set
| the Atlantic Ocean. There it is-d pna,
| OF salt water, and the color is Ike cen
lager beer" And he got up aud shook il
| fistsin the air and walked aroundand sickeC
| up showers of sand.
'.And is it all my fault?" queried Mrs
Bowser. with tears in her eyes.
'.Is It'll Is itl'' he howled, as he jumped
| up and down. ''Of course it Isl Who's
fault can it he but yours? Didn you 5aH
| seaShore to u,euutil washa lfcraZy? Ditn'
| YOU get me all excited and upset ab0u
sharks and Holsters and whales and eur
bathing? Where are the sharks and ioh
sters and whales? Where, l say. An
| we have bathed once. We went into Jit
| surf and found two dead cats floaiin
around and l cut my heel ON bOttl
! and you cut your toe On a Sardine caI
| Did come here to bathe among dee q cats
earth believe that husband would let hi
wife make such a fool of him? By thunder
| but-but-f'
And be hauled Off and banged ava
| with his fists at the side OF the hOIs
and kicked up the sand behindhim Thing
were working Ter way, and Mrs. BOw%'
was silent. After a dozen thumps an
grunts, Mr.. Rowser sat down again an
kicked right and left at the mosquitoe
and finally said:
'sWe leave for home the first thing ]
the morning, and you can begin to pas
up When we get home 1 shall want
talk With you "a long, plain talk.
husband can stand only So much, Mr.
Bowser only so much. You have drive
me TO the dead-line, and there will :
ther be divorce or such promises
humility on your part as Will make N
forAve you. Now let's fling the thin;
into the trunks, and get ready for a su
rise skip, and If l ever meet the Io
shouldereG. wall-eyed swindler who rens <
me this cottage ] viii take him by Il
thorat and choke the life out of his mise
able anatomyl'
Evening faded into night, the sand-:l,
bibi VIZ iioSduieoc 1iiiA oeed Aoi iiiOi ( 7Ni
| the CLAIMS crawled up on the sands. The
was no spice-laden breeze, the sea dEtiI
moan, and the sunlight, shining upon {
water, simply gave it huttermuS n
pearance. And when the night had pass,
and morning came, the early sunbeam
peeping into the Bowser seashoFe &C
tage, found il empty once more.
The TFihulatioDs of jewelers..
1--WE are not running around looking +
Jobs at mending jewelry.' said Salesm
in a large CheStnut-street Jewelry houS
'.and we don't shrek with joy when su