The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-10-31
Things Quaint and Curious Brought to the
Notice Of the ldIer.
TWO UNIQUE JOURNALISTIC SPECIMENS
Tho Polk County jail Gazo,tc-.Tbe
Troubles OF tho Football Tonm-She
DID Not Understnnd-The Second
Hand wheel ms II Sin Producer
Amorican GOOD Manners.

L would That the Lord had lent to me
Some mental microscope,
With kindly lens, through which to see
What ground there is for hope.
1 have looked through the Glass of
Great Desire.
And Thought to at least discover
One kttle spark of precious fire
To VAIN waiting lover;
But it is no use. though I peer and poke,
With hope that springs eternal;
My spirit sinks It'll it shifts the smoke
That curls from flames Internal.
y love that fits one like shroud
Should make him think Of heaven,
But souls don't rise, Il must be allowed,
On Just that kind of leavcn.
1t is S1East1y enough to make one swear
And wonder why the devil
10 court n girl is to court despair,
And be driven TO drink or drivel.
Ihcre has come into the possession of
the writer Il curious news pap ar-tihe Polk
County jail Gazette-'published cmce
III l00 years by II. G. Hunter, Crookston
Mimi. The title cut is q pair Of hand
cuffs and the paper is printed entirely
by pen, and contains some remarkable
news Items and editorials; also some
sketches, notably "a Bad Boys Bio
grahpy," "A Hobo's Scheme" Happy
Harry Hunter, Miss Mays Mournful
Muse etc. The advertisements are the
pest Things in this unique sheet
Another extraordinary journalistic
specimen is a fake paper entitled the
Midnight SUM-" purpor,ing to be pub
lishcd in the Klondike. 1t is on the
Arizona Kicker and "Jimmy's Paper
a nd -1,i1n
and hyperbalical in It's makeup and con-
tents. 1t is not especially funr1y or anus
Ing.
The Norfolk football team is having
handful of Trouble When it was first
organized grdWt difficulty was exper-
fenced In getting the men to come out
and practice. AS soon as this was over
come 1t began to rain and there has been
no chance to practice. The next thing
TO do is to get THE people to take an
interest In the game and turn out when
one is scheduled. Unless a good crowd
patronizes the first game, which will be
on Thanksgiving Day, it is not only
possible, but probable that the team
Will be left at the pole.
Not one person in a thousand has the
slightest idea of the requirements and
limitations of a newspaper. Not long
ago a lady presented to q Norfolk daily
for publication an article, which, if
printed, would have justified three
separate and distinct suits for Islander
that could be won in any court in the
land. When the article was returned
and this explained, she didn't under
stand.
Never buy second hand wheel 1t
sounds Alike YOU have heard that before,
doesn't 1t? SO had the victim, but he
bought second hand wheel and lost a
hundred dollars. several months sleep,
his health, his nerves, the lower end of
a. pair Of trousers and his religion by
the bargain. Next to n toothache, or a
jaw rendered III chronic invalid for life
by blacksmith, who doesn't know an
abccss from the American Eagle. a sec
ond hand bicycle is the greatest sin
producer on earth 1t makes people:
well-it makes them swear. 1t is q
creator OF black sheep, n highway rob-
Der and a thing ,unholy 4 man can
ride 20 n mighty hot place on one of
them and never kalow where he is going
ill ne gets there.
The following is published for a
young lady who Is too modest to at
tach her name. She accompanies 1t
with the following note:
"Th subject of this poem, MAY"
seems, doubtless n strange one for the
season. but the writer deems it more in
spring than would be a portrayal OF
drcavy November"