davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

AN IRISH POTATO DUEL.-An
English paper declares that dueling
came to an end in Kentucky fifty
years ago, owing to this incident {:
a travelling preacher named Bow
man was conducting services in Ken
lucky. At one of his meetings a
well-knOwn desperate character
created n disturbance, and being
publicly rebuked by Bowman, sent
him challenge. Bowman, as the
challenged party, selected a half
bushel of Irish potatoes, as big as his
fist, for each man, and stipulated that
his opponent must stand fifteen PAGES
distant, and that only one potato
at time should be taken from the
measure. The desperate made an
indignant protest, but Bowman in
sisted upon his right as the callcngcd
man.
The encounter took place on the
outskirts ofthe town. Almost every
body in the place was present to see
the fun. The seconds arranged the
two men in position, by the side of
each being halfbushel measure
| filled with large hard Irish potatoes.
Bowman threw the first tuber; it
struck his opponent, and flew into
pieces. A yell of delight went up
from the crowd which fiurried the
deSperado, and his potato flew wide
of the mark. Bowman watched his
chance, and every time his opponent
stopped for Il potato, another hit
him in the side. The desperate was
| struck about five times, and then the
! sixth took him In the short ribs
knocking the wind completely out
of him, and doubling him up on the
grass. The people were almost crazy
with laughter, but Bowman looked
as sober as if no had just preached 3
funeral sermon. The desperate was
taken home and put to bed, an(
there he stayed for more than a week
before he recovered from tho effects
of his Irish potato duel.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

THESE Stripes" sighed the con-
vict, make man feel small"
The kind woman who had come into
the darksome place to cheer him,
smiled radiantly. "Only Think"
she urged, show much smaller they
would make you if they ran up and
down your suit.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

How have you succeeded since
you graduated and began to prac-
tice ?" asked Snaggs of young DIR.
Imminent.
- have no reason to complain"
replied the physician. II was fore
sighted enough to establish myself
in a suburb where there are plenty
Of orchards. The green fruit and
the Fourth of July burns have given
me an excellent start. Yes, am do
ing fairly we'll, thank you.'
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

REVENGED ON THE CONDUCTOR.
" Hi! Hi! Don't shut that gate
lemme onp
But the conductor Of the elevated
closed the gate just as the anxious
passenger reached it, and the disap-
pointed man ran alongside, saying a
few swear words, and trying to find
foothold on the train.
When he saw that he was left he
called to the conductor:
" Here, take this !"
Then he hurled at him a package
he was carrying, which contained
five pounds Of pancake flour, which
he had promised his wife to bring
home with him, and which the con.
ductor caught with such success that
in second he was enveloped In
white dust from head to foot, while
the owner of it turned away with
tho satisfied remark:
" Ha-ha ! Revenge is sweet"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

SHE-Why do they call these the
melancholy days? He-Becsuse
they are the days when, just as you
have finished paying up your debts
for your summer vacation, you re-
member that you have got to begin
saving up for the holidays.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

PHOTOGRAPHER Ito sitter)--"
saw you at church last Sunday, Miss
Skeate."
Sitter" Oh, did you ?"
Photographer -" Yes; and also
your friend, Miss Brown. (If you
could raise your chin trifie.
Thanks.) And what an atrocious-
looking hat she had on" (After q
pause.) " There, Miss Skeate, it is
over, and l think we have caught a
very pleasant expression"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

SPARRING TEACHER" What ?
No more lessons? Why, you only
took two"
Amateur (much the worse for
wear)-" You see, / wanted to take
enough lessons so l could learn
enough about tho manly art to lick
man. Pve changed my mind
now. L guess l will send the fellow
down to take the rest of the lessons"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

81 SUPPOSE you have forgotten
that you owe me ten shillings ?"
said Phillips, severely. "No, l
haven't" retorted Wilbour. 81
meant to have done so. but / haven't
succeeded as yet. Give me time,
old man, and WILL"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

COLONEL, we are intending to
erect an artistic drinking place in
the center Of the park, and thought
perhaps you might subscribe q
SMALL
The project is sheer nonsense,
sir. Do you imagine fo' an instant
that the city will grant license ?n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29
NUMBER 10.

TRAVELLING in an English second
class carriage, a gentleman had a
little misunderstanding with lady,
the only occupant of the car besides
himself, with reference to the open
ing of q window. You don't appear
to know the difference between the
second and third-class," said the lady
cuttingly. "Oh, madam" replied
he, am an old railway traveller
| know the class distinction. In the
first-class the passengers behave
rudely to the guards; in the third
the guards behave rudely to the pas
sengers; i'm the second"--with q
bow to his fellow-passenger-"t tho
passengers behave rudely to each
other.O
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

SARGENT s. PRENTISS was once
engaged in political discussion on
"the stump" with gentleman who
was wordy, dull, and spoke against
time," SO that Prentiss might speak
at disadvantage. 1t was nearly
dark when Prentiss rose. At the
some moment jackass in a neighbor-
ing pound began brayiug, and kept
it up until Prentiss's friends were
annoyed and his opponents delighted.
When the jackass stopped, Prentiss,
casting a comical look at his antago-
mist, said, [ did not come here to-
day to reply to two equally eloquent
speeches." Then he sat down, and
his friends carried him from the stand
in their arms.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

PATRICK, was sorry to hear
that you were arrested last week.
What was the charge against your"
"Sivin dollars an costs, SIR" "I
mean what were you charged with
when they brought you before the
justice ?" Apple brandy, sor."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

When Squire BalkcOm called the
court to order this morning i'm the
spacious umbrage of the trees that
shadow his yard, says the Jones
County, Ga, Ne,rS, he noticed q
dusky son of Ham and his wife
standing among the spectators with
an anxious look upon their faces.
What can l do for you," asked
his Honor.
L" Ise come to git you to 'vorce
us, jedge."
" Don't you know that such an act
is beyond the pale of this court ?"
" Yes, sab, shore; she 'tacted me
wild de pail an hit waz full of watah
and busted hit over nah head, and
amt gwine lib wild her no moh-she
shore did, jedge."
- say, you wOolly-headed imp o.
Ethiopia, don't you know that thu
Constitution of the United States
embodied in its laws, denies to a jus
tice court the power of annullinI
the marital vows; that it belongs t
a higher tribunal? Is that an,
palmer ?"
Yes, sab, boss, she shorely di,
null my constitution; why"
Oh, go to Gehenna. / say
can't and l won't separate you. ID
you understand now ?"
Say, jedge, Ise got de money t.
pay you, boss, for Gods sake"
How much have you got :?
asked his Honor.
" Six dollars and half, boss"
"Then | fine you one dollar and
half for taking up the time Of tn
court, and five dollars for attemptin
! to sully it's judicial ermine by
bribeD
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

cit Is the nature of a child to be
wanting to do something" said the
enthusiastic Kindergarten. AS far
asiI have noticed" said the mother
of six, " 1t Is the nature of child
to be wanting to do something else. -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

81 DON'T see why you consider
your political career failure" said
the man. My friend," said the
citizen, with an earnest sigh, 81
have been in politics for fifteen years
and have never yet attained the
prominence of being called Judas
by the newspapers.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

"YoU want sensible fellow to
look after you," said her father
What do you think of fine intel
lectual man of fifty ?" The maid
replied, " 1 think two of twenty-five
would be better, pal"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

TIE Court CAME BACK.-Judge
Randolph of the Kansas District
Court was one Of the frontier judicial
officers who believed in upholding
the dignity of the bench, and as we'll
tenacious of his own personal honor.
~ divorce suit, in which Il grew
haired veteran of the late war was
plaintiff, came up before him while
he was on the circuit out in a prairie
county. The rude courtroom was
filled with spectators, and the old
man seemed unwilling to go on the
stand in his own defence.
am not going to grant divorces
without good reasons" announced
the Court and the plaintiff went to
the chair that served as witness.
box.
Now" said the attorney, "tell
us just what your wife did to make
you leave her."
The witness looked appealingly al
the judge.
"Answer the question:" was the
order.
Well, she called me names.n
That is not ground enough for {
DIVORCE" said the Court, sternly.
"And she neglected me-"
/" Is that all?n
"And she said | was coward ant
sneak, because | went to the wa
and came back alive. She said tha
all the brave and worthy men diet
I in battle, and only the towards an,
traitors came home and"
THAT will do, sir; the deere
, prayed for in your petition
f granted" broke in the Judge. %
f want you to understand, sir, tina
t this Court went to the war, and spen
four years there-and the Court cam
back, too"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

"GREAT Scott, Rastus! You look
as if you had been fighting a buzz.
saw"
"Yessah. / was i'm dat smashup
i'm de Bucktown wheelman's race.n
Il heard about that. How did ii
happen ?"
"Dollah fell out'n de pacemakah's
pocket right in de middle ob dc
race.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

SUCCESS in life is very apt to make
US forget the time when we wasn't
much. 1t is just so with a frog on a
jump he can't remember when he
was tadpole, but other folks can.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

LET me take the blamed thing
home," said the patient as the dem
tist relieved him Of his aching molar.
" want to take 1t home and poke
sugar in it and see Ii ache ~
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

AT recent meeting Of railroad
engineers the following toast was of
fered: "To our mothers-the only
faithful tenders who never misplaced
a sWitch.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

" PATRICK, me bhoy, you've
had quote enough to dhrink," said
the genial host. Take me advoice,
When ye get to the top of the sthreet
yen see two cabs; take the first,
because begorra, there's only wan ="
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

LITTLE BoY-The preacher says
there are no marryin' in heaven.
Little Girl Of course not. There
wouldn't be enough men to go
'round.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

HE-l never smoke a cigarette
without thinking what fool am.
She-I didn't know before there was
any virtue in cigarettes at all.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

" OsMoND, have you attended any
of the fall openings ?" Eyes; last
night stepped into a coalhole."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

TIE LADY-l'll give you q good
meal if you will cut up some of that
wood.
The Tramp-Sorry, but l can't ac-
cOmmOdate you, madam.
The Lady-ToQ lazy to work, l
suppose.
The Tramp-Not that, madam,
not that. 1 would be false to my
trust. You see, Pm a member OF
the Society for the Preservation OF
American Forests, and we never cut
any wood"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

The king of Siam has an income
of about S2,000,000 a year. His
royal palace is populated by about
5000 people and is little city in
itself. The ornamental grounds
comprise % acres and are surrounded
by a wall II feet high.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

SHE SHUT THE DOOR.-Down at
Bridgton there is professor who
does not like the bicycle, but his
daughter likes it just the same, and
has one. The Bridgton local paper
says that the other night, while the
family were grouped about the even
ing lamp, the young lady was talk
ing proudly about her "biKe."
Now and then her father wriggled
little in his chair, and presently he
said to the daughter:
I" Lucia, would you mind closing
that door? Pm as cold as an ike"
"Cold as what, papa ?"
L" AS cold as an Ike"
g don't understand"
THAT is strange. If it accords
with your theory of verbal expires.
sion to call bicycle bike, l dom,
see how you can object to my calling
an icicle an ike.
She closed the door, and the family
noticed that it came to with a bang
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

g So that young man says ne
would lay his fortune at your feet ?'
said Mabel's father.
Yes"
" But he hasn't done So"
" N-nO."
And perhaps you can tell why ?"
"l guess, father, that he hasn't
had it told yet"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29

THE happy people of the world are
those who love their occupation.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-29
MISCELLANEOUS.
ODD WILLS.

QUEER THINGS MEN THINK OF.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08
FIGHT WITH A BEAR.
A Prospector's Adventure and His
Painful Victory.

A Prospector's Adventure and His
Painful Victory.
A prospector named Anderson,
who is working on claim near the
Tam o Shanter group of mines,
fought terrific battle with large
black bear the other day. Ander-
son came out victor, but it was a
painful victory and he will bear
some of the marks of the engage
ment with him to the grave
Anderson started out early in the
afternoon with dog and Winches-
ter rifle to hunt, bear tracks having
been reported within a few miles of
the mines. He and the dog picked
up the tracks and trailed them for
about three miles, when they be-
came fresher, and the dog bayed the
fact that he had the scent. The
snow was quite deep, and Ander-
son plunged through, taking little
or no precaution to see where he
was going He was suddenly ar
rested by a howl Of pain from the
dog, and looked up only to be CON
fronted by an enormous bear that
had swatted the canine one and sent
it bowling towards its master. The
bear squatted on its launches wait
ing for Anderson to open the fight
The man recovered from his aston
ishment quickly, and, raising his
rife, fired at random and started to
retreat In doing so his foot caught
in some brush and he fell. Bruin
who had been hit, maddened at the
pain was over the PROSTATE man in
an instant and then came life and
death struggle Man and bear rolled
over and over. The dog proved a
valuable ally to Anderson and wor-
ried Bruin considerably by biting
his hind legs. So aggravating did the
dog become that the bear turned its
attention from the man to its tor.
mentor 1t was fatal movement
for the bear as it gave Anderson
an opportunity to get out a hunting
knife he carried, and when Bruin
turned again the man closed i'm with
the animal and buried the knife in
its breast. Bruin fell overload and
Anderson dropped exhausted. The
mans clothing was literally torn
from him and hung in shreds. His
face, head, body, hands, arms and
legs were terribly lacerated, and it
will be several weeks before ne will
be able to hunt bears again. The
bear weighed $50 pounds. Aspen
(Col. Tribune.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08
MErEOROLOGY.

Feb. 6-Entire coast from Florida ia
| Maine swept by heavy gales reaching
| yelocities from so to 20 miles,
| Mar. 1-F'loods from rain in New England
cause $1,000, 900 loss
Mar. S1-Eloudburst along Little Sexton
creek In Clay county, Ky.
Apr 12-rerrific wind and snowstorm In
Cripple Creek district of Colorado.
Apr. 13--Texas cyclone wrecked houses at
Regain, Abilene, Iatan, Colorado City and
Fort Worth Heavy snowfall at Palmer
Apr I7-Much damage done by rain in
Vernon county Wis; village of odanah
Apr. 9O-Tornadc ala great damage in
Erie, Sandusky and Tiffln, o.
Apr. H-Cyclone near Sanborn, N D.
Cyclone at Manley, Plymouth and Rock
Apr. ss-Epiphany. N. D.. completely de-
Apr. 29-Cyclone In Boone, Audrian and
Monroe counties. Mo-. Cyclone in Chicka-
saw Butler and Bremen counties, Ia
May S@cyclone at Clark. 8. d.
May R-Cyclone at Lincoln, Neb. .Cy-
clone at Worthlngton. MINI.
May lS-CloudburSt at Bloomer, Wis.,.
Panama. Neb. destroyed by Cyclone
May l6.Smlthton, Pa, wrecked by wind
May ,H-cycone miles south OF En-
poria, Kan.
May 2s-sabor. $. D, nearly demolished
ny cloudourst. La Fontaine Kan, near
May A-Cloudburst between La Noble
and State Center, Ia.
May Thrush Hin, Mo-, almost destroyed
Vicinity swept by cyclone; $i2, 900 900.
Hurricane in indiana dld great damage at
Elwood. Lapel, Alexandria. Mlddletown.
June H,-Wyetk city. Ala. destroyed By
cyclone. :. Lake City, Cal. nearly de-
streyed BY cleudbvrst.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

released from Pretoria jail on paying flns
81 Sl2h.0o0 each.
June 17-1Tidai wave on island Of Yesno.
Japan, drowned 10000 people
July 8-Sir Charles Topper and cabinet
resign at ottawa Ont.
July lS--Poriirio Dlaz reelected president
Of Mexico
Aug. B--Consuis and missionaries osti-
mate that fully 100000 deaths have oo-
Cured in Armenia due 10 nnassacres and
starvation.
Sept 2l-At Kemah, near Erzingan. z.oeO
Armenians murdered
Oct. 3--William Morris, poet, author and
designer. died In London; aged g.
Oct. Scar and czarina OF Russia re-
ccived in Paris
: Oct. e-George du Maurier, artist, novel;
Oct oB-Advices from Turkey tell OF mas
sncre at Egn: 1000 Armenians slain.
Nov. Smear San jose Cuba, 10 non
combatants butchered by Spaniards.
Nov. 12-Gen. Weyler and troops driven
from camp by insurgents at Pinar del
Rio, Cuba. With loss of "a killed
Nov. N--Massacre Of 500 near Diarbekfr,
Armenia.
Dec. 3--Province of Mamouret- Ul-Aziz
raided by 10000 Kurds, pillaging Villages
and massacring Inhabitants
Dec. 7--AntQnio Maceo, Cuban insurgent
leader, invited to q Spanish conference.
treacherously slain In ambush
Dec lC--Maceo reported to be alive.
ident of Swiss confederation. Violent
earthquake In British Isles.
Dec. 22--Amnesty granted Armenian pris-
Oners not sentenced to death for murder in
Constantinople. .Mohammedan rebellion
in northern China ended.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08
MAKE YOURSELF READY

for the Christmas festivities and your
formal New Year calls by having the
finishing touches put on your new
suit before it is too late. Perfection
of tit can only be gained by making
the clothing to suit the man. We
will make your business or dress snil
as near perfection as it's possibit IS
make it. Choose the fabric and Nc
do the rest
A. CLARK, me TaiIor.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

His biography, written by his wife :.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08
vaIuing CONDEMNATION.

Honest and hearty commentator
is always valued by one who esteems
his fellows. He is glad to know
that he has helped one of those
whom he wants to help But there
are those who are too self-complacent
to prize commentator. They think
so much of themselves that they are
unwilling to admit that the good
opinion of any ordinary person is
worth their Ealuing. Such persons
feel above being praised or blamed,
and they think their disdain OF 9TH
ers is humility. True modesty
prizes commentator. IS. S. Times.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

His important speeches
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

The results of the campaign in 1896 :.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

rnrno.-1Fifst Monday in February term
lnfee weeks third Monday An Mny.-term TWO
weeks. first Monday In 5eptembor--term three
weeks
Cun3s1rA AK Fourth Monday in February
term six woeKs First Monday in June--teim
four weeks; Fourth Monday in September
term six weeks.
CALLowA \ second Monday In April-term
three weeks First Monday in August-term
two weeks Second Monday in November
term three weeks.
LYoN.--Ffrst Monday in May--term two
weeka; nrst Monday tn August--tern two
weeks fret Monday in september term two
weeks.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08
A Curious Accident.

Passing beside stall liveryman
of Hopkinsville, Ky, lost a part of
one ear which a horse reached out
and seized with its teeth.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08
It'll street, Hopkinsville, Ky

Close connection made at Princeton with
through solid vestibule trains carrying Pull
man buffet sleepers and free reclining chair
cars.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

Col Gather has adjusted the
trouble in Company r. of the State
Guards, at Lexington.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

A review of the pOIitical situation
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-01-08

For further information, address
H. O. MoRnUE, A. q, A
or Louisville. Ky.
w. L. MILLS,
Owensboro. Ky.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-10-28
See the KlnetOscope -Llvlng Picture

See the kaleidoscope living Picture
Just think Of g picture OF an px-
press train in actual motion at the
rate Of seventy mIles an hour and go
realistic that persons who see it
scramble to get out Of it's way. At
first you are looking down a railroad
track, suddenly you see the Black
Diamond Express away of in tic
distance, emerging from q beautiful
grove, coming straight towards you.
Il makes even an unimsginative per-
son wish he could get to one side, out
Of the way. Patronizs your own
home people by attending Living
Pictures" Given for the benefit cf
the Presbyterian church, Phillips
burg, November 5 and 6. Admission
10 and rs cents.