Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-05-20

She-How high should young wom-
an lift her dress? He-She should lift
1t little over two feet-Life.
Amy-Mabel, do you ever think about
marriage? Mabel-Think is no name
for IT. worry.-Harlem Life.
AT least, Chollie knows how to dress.
His attire is rich, but simple" $50 ID
Choliie Journal ~
she-Don't you think it is always diff
ficult to tell woman's age? He-She
always acts as II 1t was.-Richmond
Dispatch.
She-And there are never any pain
full silences at stag party, l suppose?
He-Oh, no! Silence isn't painful DO, q
man.-Puck.
| "You good-for-nothing loafer! Didn't
you tell me you were hard worker"
"Well, 1t amt easy for me to work.
Detroit News.
"Are you going abroad this SUMMER
II don't know. Papa is in Washington
seeing Mr.. Mckinley about it now
Cleveland. Plaincealer.
"How dreadful stout the general Is
| gettingw Eyes; isn't it fortunate7
Otherwise he wouldn't be able to wear
all his medals. Punch.
| II can't see why they speak Of the
wisdom Of the serpent" "Well, You
never heard Of a serpent getting his
leg pulled, did youT-Truth.
She-Do you think l would marry a
man who has no money? IIe-Well,
/ didn't know but you wanted to get
married.-Detroit Free Tress.
| Charley, why is that Miss Silly al
ways dragging her poodle around with
her" Because the pup can't break
the chain."-Detroit Free Press.
BE your own judge, Chumley, but
can you show me one thing about Miss
Richly that makes her attractivew
"No, it's in the bank."-Detroit Free
Press.
| "Don't cry" he entreatcd. Then he
perceived that her handkerchief was
edged with the most exquisite lace.
/ "Don't weep" he said, correcting him.
self.--Detroit Journal
| "What became of that Samuels girl
that Pottersby was flirting with last
summer?" "You mean the girl that
Pottersby thought he was flirting wlth2
She married im."-Tit-Bits.
| McGinnis-I can't understand why Il
is that people joke about actors being
half starved. Swatty-Why? McGin-
nis-Just think how many roasts they
| get.-Philadelphia North American.
81 am going to do something in the
literary line which will take better
than Scotch dialect" remarked Mr..
Trechant Penn. what Is it," II am
going to write story in baby talk
Bazaar.
First Burglar-Lord, Bill! dis adver-
tisement wouldn't fool nobody. Sec
ond Burglar-Wot is it? First Burglar
Fifty dollars reward an no ques-
tions assigned by woman.-Leslie's
Weekly.
Alethea-Won't Miss Henriques bi-
cycle tea be unique? The illumination
is to be wholly furnished by cycle
lamps. Alberta-I wonder how she
will manage to keep them iighted?-
Puck.
Con Vivial-Doctor, my wife suffers
greatly from insomnia. Physician-In-
somnia? How do you know? Con Wv
ial-Why, every time l come home at
2 or o'clock in the morning, always
find her wide-awake!-Puck.
Mr.. Park Plaza-What hospitable
persons suburbanites are! They are
always inviting person out to stay
over Sunday. Mr.. Citily (grimly)-
Yes; and then trying to sell their place
to you before you leave for the city
Puck.
Gibbs-How did Differs come to hit
you? Snoggs-Oh, it was all on ac-
count Of a trifiing difference of opin-
ion between us. Gibbs-Difference Of
opinion? Snoggs-Yes; l thought he
lied, and he thought he didn't-Twin-
kles.
Mrs. Littlethot-How do you write
your beautiful Scotch dialect stories,
Mr.. Scribbler? Is it very hard? Mr..
Scribbler-Not hard, but trying-au
you've got to do is to stuff hot po-
tato In your mouth and dictate to
fve-dollar week stenographer."-
Puck.
A Painful Algernon,
dear, how much did you pay the
preacher who married us? / want to
enter 1t as the first item In our family
expense book" 'Great Scott, Esmer-
aida! / supposed your father had set
tied thatr'-Chicago Tribune.
"My dear, am surprised that you
should accuse me Of being intoxicated
last night. Did not sit up an hour
after l got home, smoking and read
ing?" asked he. Eyes, and do you know
what you were smoking? 1t was one
Of my hair-curling kids."-Cincinnati
CommercialTribune.
Breakleigh-Good-by Miss Convent:
I've enjoyed chatting with you so
much. AS q rule can never talk to
young girls" She (visibly pleased
why? Do you generally find them too
stupid? He-Oh, no! On the contrary,
they are generally too intellectual"
And he wondered why her expression
changed suddenly Topics.
Pete" said Meandering Mike, de
bicycle Is a great ting" II don't see
whut it's done fur u.s." replied Flooding
Pete. 'Its annihilated de aristocracy,
dat's whit it's done. Whenever we
gets a hand-out of old clothes, they're