The Dalles times-mountaineer. [volume] (The Dalles, Or.) 1882-1904, 1897-02-27
,HE TROUBLE AT ST. eRAcE,s.
A True Account of the Cause of the Dis
banding of the "Quire."

iHE TROUBLE AT ST. GRACE'S.
True Account of the Cause of the Dis
banding of the "Ou;re.''
The trouble in St. Grace's choir was
not due to the soprano or the contralto,
but to man. ST. Grace's was a country
church, and so high that the congrega-
ton preferred to consider their singers
as composing a ''quire," rather than q
"choir;" and every chuI chman-no.
every churchwoman-know that from
"quire" to Rome" is but step, and
| feels a delicious thrill at the idea of
danger. The quire at ST. Grace's, be-
fore the trouble began, was composed
of men and boys, and was vested; and
it sang very well.
| 1t sang very well except for one man
He was tall man, with a clean-shaven,
| lantern -jawed face, known to the quire
boys as "Ham-and-Eggs." Why he re-
| ceived this title, no one knew; but he
| had it, and as 10 one ever called him by
| it to his face, it served quite well as
name for him. Ham-and-Eggs was
| rated as a basso, and sometimes he sang
| as basso. But quite often, in the mid
| die of a hymn or chant, it would occur
! to him to sing falsetto, and he would
| sing falsetto. Once, even, in the middle
| of a solo, the spirit moved him to sing
| falsetto-'and he done So
Now that sort of thing would raise
hob, even in an evangelical choir; in a
high church vested quire it raised much
more than hob. The rector himself tried
to persuade Ham-and-Eggs to settle on
one voice or another; but without avail.
Then he tried diplomacy and compro-
mise.
"We've too many bassos now," he
urged. ''They overpower the rest 81
the quire. Now-what- -do-you-say
-to-singing-tenor? Hey?" andhe
looked inquiringly yet encouragingly
at Mr.. and Mrs. Ham-and-Eggs.
Mr.. Handle. spoke first, in his deep
est bass.
81 will sing only with the voice God
gave me- was what he said; and his
stout better half remarked angrily:
''The mere suggestion is an insult"
Now Ham-and- Eggs had three sons,
known as ''Bacon-and-Eggses" Bacon
isn't so big as Ham), and to avenge the
from the final rehearsal of the Easter
carols. The poor parson was in a
pheese. Were they coming on Easter
to sing or were they not? He could
learn nothing from the Skillet, as the
boys had named Ham-and-Eggs' house,
because the family was our. So he de-
cided on a bold plan; he would ask
some ladies to sing the soprano parts,
and let the bass get along without Ham
and-Eggs.
well put screen in the chancel,"
he explained, land the three Miss Bios
SONS can sit behind it."
The three Miss Blossoms were will
ing, and at midnight the parson gave
them their parts of the carols and
chants, and they sat up the rest of the
night learning them. On Easter Sunday
the quire was very weak; most of the
boys had gone home for the vacation.
But Ham and Bacon-and Eggs were
there, after all. The three Miss Bios
and tucked away behind the screen
without any of the quire knowing; and
everything was prepared for the II |
o'clock service.
In time the professional began and |
The quire entered. The quire consisted |
Of two bassos Ham-and-Eggs one of |
them, one tenor, the three Bacon-and- |
Eggs, and no altos. But the three Miss |
Blossoms hadn't been warned not to /
sing until the male quire was seated;
so at the first notes of the professional
they began. The quire, prepared to
sing, found some one out of sight sing
ing away bravely, and was astonished
and stopped-or most of it did; for
Ham-and-Eggs kept on, first in bass,
then in falsetto, trying to carry the song
through.
After that, though, everything went
and having been warned by
the rector during the service, the three
Miss Blossoms did not sing all of the re-
but executed a vocal tour de
force by singing with less and less voice
as the quire departed, and succeeded in
producing an eject quite like the Turk
ish reveille, as one of them explained
later to the rector, Mr.. Partridge.
But the next day Ham-and-Eggs re-
signed.
81 don't mind what you said," he
wrote. 81 will sing only with the voice
God gave me, and that voice I will take
care of. There was too much echo yes
terday in church; it injured my voice
So beg to resign"
The Bacon-and-Eggses went with
their father, and so St. Grace's quire
came to grief-N. Y. Sun.
A PRAIRIE TRAGEDY.