Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-04-21
PRAISE TO THE FACE.
1t Costs Little md 1t Makes Life's
burdens Lighter.


burdens Lighter.
From Harper's Bazaar.
No, we do not remember to say nice
things to one another, or, rather, we do
not make the effort to say those nice things
we are often actually thinking. II the
front of Mary's new dress fits WELL and we
are wishing she would turn so that we
could see the back. it is just as simple to
say: "Oh, Mary, that gown fits you beau
ufully. Do let me see the back" But in
place of doing that, we wait until Mary
turns by accident, and then We view her
back in silence.
1t is not that we mean to be grudging of
our praise, nor are we restrained by deli
cacy, but we just do not think of opening
our mouth and enclosing our teeth on the
pleasant thought that would give Mary I'M
deniable pleasure. There. no doubt, have
been times when you yourself have worn
new gown or made some conspicuous eff
fort of one kind or another, and found a
friend utterly silent on the subjcct-so 81
lent that you thought she had no good
thing to say. and SO kindly held her tongue:
then later Through more thoughtful chan
nels) trickles to you warm approval that
she had spoken behind your back.
Behind-the-back approval is extremely
valuable. more so than before the face of
course, but somehow it is never SO sweet
F'lattery? 1t is not fattery to speak of
a true admiration. 1t is rather a duty to
do SO than to refrain. The use of clean. hon.
est praise is not its abuse. 1t costs more
effort to speak pleasant thoughts aloud
than to think them in silence and when
one feels irritable or tired the effort is
greater tc thus make ones self very pleas
ant; but there is no doubt whatever about
the duty in the case.
L once saw father walk up to a map his
little boy had made and pinned on the wall
he stood before 1t long time in silence,
and in silence walked away The little fell
low was sitting in the room, and his ia Their
knew he was there. He was watching with
MS eager child's eyes, waiting anxiously
Tor word of approval AS none came his
poor little face fell unhappily. Straight
into the next room walked the father aIAi
said carelesSly:
Robert has drawn a very clever little
map in there. Look at it when you go in. :"
Did you tell him it was cleyer?" asked
judicial listener, following from the room
where little Robert still sat.
why. no. l ought to have done so.
never thought to mention it,"
Well. you ought to be ashamed Of your
self, was the deserved reply. 60 back
now and tell him."
We ought all of us to be ashamed of
ourselves dozen times day for like sins
OF omission. 1t costs so little to say nice
things. and the result in another's pleas
ure Is out of all proportion to our trouble.
Praise to the face: open disgrace.
No such thing. The proverb is wrong.
Praise to the face is one of the sweetest
things on earth. and there is no disgrace
in 1t, unless untruth enters, or unless the
praise is undeserved. 1t is the more CRATE
full because no one may ask for open praise
and receive by asking. When it comes thus
at call 1t Is not praise; its fine flavor is
quite gone, and it is but fiattery
We may have died for praise, but never
asked It," All we need to do to give proper
praise to the face is to think aloud a little
more when thinking pleasantly of those
with whom We live. In a word, as spoken
by an old French lady of fiction, 1T costs
so little to be pleasant. and it does so
grease the wheels Of life's chariot"