The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-12-02

Smith, the enterprising merchant
and telephone hustler, is still alive
and doing good business.
d. 0. Dewitt, the greatest hunter
since the days of Nimrod, killed five
wild turkeys last week on Meadow
Mountain at four shots.
Prof Matfett is very happy and is
teaching one Of the most successful
schools at Gap Run that has been
taught there for years,
John A. Dewitt still gravitates
toward Sang Run on Sunday even
ings.
My dear Rip, | am now satisfied
that my last diagnosis of your case
was wrong, and that your diet has
not been exclusively fish and crabs
as | then supposed, or rather as your
previous article led me to believe, but
Judging you by your last communica-
ton i'll THE REPUBLICAN, which |
have just read, | am led to believe
that you have been boiling your fish
and crabs in something stronger than
water, and that you now have "a bad
attack of nightmare or some other
complication of mental and physical
troubles, that | do not fully under
stand, resulting from your diet or
long sleep.
In fact, it looks a little like there
might have been an Interchange of
barrels and that some of those double
eagles and eagles that have been
Inhibited so many times at Sang Run
and its immediate vicinity as to de-
prive the glorious old bird almost
entirely of its plumage, have escaped
from their hiding places. The bar
rel' and 'half-barrel" to which |
referred in my last communication,
spread their pinions to the breeze and
winged their flight from Sleepy Hol-
low to Miller's distillery, and that YOU
poor fellow, have gotten too much
tangle-fOot from one of the barrels
so exchanged, and are suffering from
what the medical fraternity are
pleased to term fatty degeneracy of
body and brain. Rip, you are in a
very precariOus condition and must
have delerium tremens, or slight
attack of mania pOtu or you GER
tainly would not have written so
many things about snakes, vipers and
spiders. | hope you did not have any
of those ugly repulsive monsters in
your old boots, as it is bad enough
for a fellow to have them in his head
without having them in his boots and
shoes.
Rip, must admit that you surpass
all arrogant, empty-headed braggarts
that | have ever known or read of,
and that your egotism and audacity
are simply phenomenal.
am surprised and astounded to
think that you have the brass to
claim all you have written as your
own, or a production of your rum
oOthNtN VI am.
If you had been in the best college
or university in this country or Eu-
rope for the past twenty years instead
of asleep to the world of science and
progress as you have been, it would
have been impossible for you to have
originated or written anything as
able and witty as that advertisement
of Mr.. William Frederick 5, which you
have copied almost verbatim.
In conclusion, my advice to you. as
a friend and well wisher, is to devote |
more time and attention to 1vour |
grammar and dictionary and less time |
TO music, and when you write in the |
future, you won't use mission" for
'mbssive,' and better understand the
proper use of adjectives, and not be
to copy somebody's adver-
-isement and claim it as your own.
There is time for everything; and
he time to attend to a cold is when it
starts. Don't wait until you have
but prevent it by using
)ne Minute Cough Cure, the great
emedy for coughs, colds, Group, bron-
hits and all throat and lung tYon-
lies. Oakland Pharmacy