The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-06-19

81 am hopeful that you will pay me
that $40 before the end of the week.
Smithson." That's right, old man.
Be hopeful, but don't be sanguine."-
Judge.
Il believe you men think more of
your wheels than you do of your
wives" "Why not? We can get an
improved make every year."-Chicago
Record.
Il love to have you come and see sis
ter, Mr.. Tompkins." "Why, DickieT
"'Cause she never likes that candy you
bring her, an gives it to me."-Chicago
Record.
Fisher-Do you believe in heredity7
Mann-Sure. Many time have no.
ticed that when a man was rich his
son had the sam6 Cincinnati
Inquirer.
Miss Wabash-So you come from
Boston, do you? That's where every
body is so cultured, isn't 1t? Miss Bea-
constreete-No; cultivated.-Somerville
Journal.
BIynkins-That fellow, De Soaque,
says some very dry things, doesn't he?
Wynkins-Yes, I've heard him say
Don't care If / do" repeatedly.
"If poker is our national game, then
the American beauty rose ought to be
the national flower" "WhyT BE
cause it has such royal fush."-Chi-
cago Record.
Minnie-Gcorge said ought to go on
the stage He said that he had no doubt
/ would be peach. Mamie-Are you
apolis Journal.
do you think your son will get
through coflege?" Yes, have every
reason to believe he WILL He passed
his first football game splendidly."-
Washington Star.
Tommy-Paw, what is a designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh, the descrip-
ton would apply to one of these poster
artists about as well as anything
Indianapolis Journal.
He-Have you heard my new song,
"The Proposal?" She-No; what key Is
1t in? He-Be mine-er. Shell will.
(And now you can transpose it to the
key of "a fiat."-Life.
"'Tain' allus dem ez hab de mos',"
said Uncle Eben, dat manages ter hop
onto 1t de longes'. De cullud gemman
dom git bald nigh ez quick ez de white
mman."-Washingto Star.
Reed-A1l the original jokes wero
written 1900 years ago. Wright-What
nonsense! I'll leave it to you, now. Do
I look as II could be more than 1000
years old?-Cincinnati Enquirer.
"You do not go out often to dinner.
Mrs. WaddingtonY' mo. don't think
the best dinner on earth is sufficient
compensation for making ones self
agreeable for three hours at stretch"
Chicago Record.
Rugby-Our landlady Is one Of the
most expert calculators in town. VIII
kins-Is she? Rugby-Yep. We had
beans for dinner to-day, and she asked
me how many / would have.-Cleve.
land Plain Dealer.
Professor-Say, Anna, couldn't we
Just as well postpone our silver we'd
ding and celebrate 1t at the same time
as the golden wedding? / don't like to
be interrupted in my work SO often
Fliegende Blaetter.
poor Dick is gone! He was de-
voted cyclist, wasn't he?" "Yes, In
ded! He left will stating that he
was to be cremated and used to help
out on our new cinder path. Louis
Vile Courier-Journal
Old Lady-Poor fellow! suppose
your blindness is incurable. Have You
ever been treated? Blind Man-Yes,
mum. but not often. 'Tain't many az
likes to be seen going into a barroom
with blind beggar.-Hartford Times
Mrs. Spooner-Charles. do you think
Won would ever marry again? Mr..
Spooner-What, after having lived with
| Won for ten years? Neveri Mrs. Spoon
err would give something handsome II
she only knew just what he meant by
that.-London Figaro.
Judge-Are you aware of any mitd.
eating circumstances in your case
Criminal-yes. your Honor; this isthe
fiftieth time have been arrested fol-
yagraucy, md thought that perhaps
we might set ~ . lists jubilees~Tid'
Bitx,