davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28
Misused Figures of Speech.

An old French lawyer, writing
of an estate he had just bought
added: There is a chapel upor
it in which my wife and I wish tc
be buried, if God spares oul
lives"
On a tombstone in Indiana i;
the following inscription: "Thi:
monument was erected to the
memory of John Jinkins, acct.
dentally shot as a mark of affec,
ton by his BROTHER
A Michigan editor received
some verses not long ago with
the following note of explana
ton: "These lines were writer
fifty years ago by one who has
for long time slept in his grave
merely for pastime.
A certain politician, lately
condemning the government fol-
its policy concerning the income
tax, is reported to have said
They'll keep cutting the wool
off the sheep that lays the golden
eggs until they pump it dry"
An Oklahoma editor expresses
his thanks for a basket of Or
anges thus: eve have received
basket of oranges from our
friend, Gus Bradley, for which
he will please accept our compli-
ments, some of which are nearly
six inches in diameter
The Morning Post in 1912 made
the following statement eve
congratulate ourselves most on
having torn off Corbett's mask
and revealed his cloven foot. It
was high time that the hydra
head of faction should be soundly
wrapped over the knuckles."
An English lecturer on chem
istry said. Zone drop of this.
poison placed on the tongue of a
cat is sufficient to kill the strong
est man," and an English lieu
tenant said that the Royal Niger
company wished to kill him to
prevent his going up the river
until next year.
An orator at one of the univer-
sity unions bore off the palm
when he declared that ''the
British lion, whether it is roam
ing the deserts of Asia or climb
ing the forests of Canada, will
not draw in its horns nor retire
into its SHELF
A reporter in describing the
of a man named Jorkin
said: f'The murderer was evil
IDENTIFY in quest of money, but
luckily Mr.. Jorkin had deposited
all his funds in the bank the day
before, SO that he lost nothing
but his life.''
A merchant who had died sud-
denly left in his bureau a letter
to one of his correspondents
which he had not sealed. His
clerk, seeing it necessary to send
the letter, wrote at the bottom:
''Since writing the above 1 have
died.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

THE Palestine Press claims
that if the legitimate newspapers
of a town got the money foolishly
spent in various ways for adver-
Using, they could print papers
that would reflect credit on the
town. 1t would cost the adver-
tiser no more, do him more good
and reward those who work day
in and day out for the interests
of the town. This suggestion is
worth the serious consideration
of every business man who has
the interest of his town at heart.
There is nothing that speaks of a
towns interest like the,well pat
ronized newspaper. Just try
leaving all fakes alone, and
throwing your support to the
newspaper.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

Coz. ED. KAUFMAN, U. S. in
tefnal revenue collector for this
district, has been elected by the
county commissioners tax col
lector of Travis county and has
accepted the same. He will re-
sign his office of internal revenue
collector at once.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

CoTToN pickers and corn gath
erers are in active demand in
North Texas at one dollar per
day. A good cotton picker in
this section can pick from $50 to
400 pounds of dotton per day for
which he receives go cents per
hundred. No wonder hands are
scarce in North Texas.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

The Luetgert jury stood nine
for conviction and three for ac-
quittal, Not being able to rem
der verdict they were dis
charged and the prisoner re-
manded to Jail. An application
for bail is talked of.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

THE announcement is made in
the New York press that J. Pier
pont Morgan had won his suit for
S3,00O,0OO against the Union
Pacific railway company.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

THE Conroe Courier has been
considerably enlarged and i'm
proved. Hugh Jones, its editor,
Is one of the best printers in
Texas, and we rejoice at his sue
cess.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28
Chronic Malaria.

The symptoms are: cold,
sticky sweats, tired-out feelings,
alternating with hot flashes,
coated tongue, bad breath, dizzy
head and dull headache, loss of
appetite, heavy, undressing
sleep, ringing in the ears, brown
moving specks before the eyes.
OF course no one has all these
symptoms at once, but they will
come, one after the other, making
the victim hideously miserable.
The remedy is Pe-ru-na. This
remedy quickly restores the ap-
petite, when new blood is made
strength returns, refreshing sleep
new courage and nature come
back, one by one. Life is worth
living again.
Send for free book on malaria,
written by DR.. Hartman. Ad-
dress The Pe-ru-na Drug Manu-
featuring Co., Columbus, Ohio.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28
TO OUR PATRONS.

THE BANNER requests all par
lies knowing themselves indebted
to this office to come forward and
make payment. We need the
money to meet our own obliga-
lions. Don't forget US.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

IN Bob TAYLOR, Tennessee's great
governor, is attending the State
Fair at Dallas.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

THE "dengueriteras'' fever is
having a lively run in Austin,
having at last invaded the State
employees headquarters.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28

THE Denison Herald is of the
opinion that Joe Sayers is as big
q candidate for governor of Texas
as any of the others attending
the Dallas fair.
Brenham weekly banner. [volume] (Brenham, Tex.) 1877-1907, 1897-10-28
The Weekly Banner

JOHN g. RANKIN, Editor and Proprietor.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
Autograph Fiends.

The author of "Chats With Celebri-
ties, Mr.. Guild, says of the demand
upon Longfellow for his autograph:
l remember one very pleasant party
at the poets dinner table, at which Mr..
Monti, Professor E. N. Horsford and
myself were present, when Mr.. Long
fellow related number of amusing
anecdotes respecting applications that
were made to him for autographs. He
was very kind to autograph seekers and
used to keep in little box upon his
writing table number of slips upon
which were written, Yours very truly,
Henry W. Longfellow. One of these
would be sent to the applicant by a
member of his family to whom he passed
over their requests.
But the autograph seekers were not
always satisfied with mere signature,
and he often sent verse from one of
his poems signed with his name. The
most remarkable request, however, came
from a lady in Boston, who the poet
said, sent him by express a package of
100 blank visiting cards, with a letter
requesting that he would inscribe his
name on each of them the next day, as
she was to have a grand reception at
which number of literary people
would be present, and she wished to
present each one of her guests with the
poets autograph.
This was too much for even Longfel-
lows good nature and would seem to be
hardly credible had l not heard it from
the poets own lips.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
THE FAMOUS GIN LAW.
How 1t Was Received and Evaded By the
EnRifah Pubfte

How 1t Was Received and Evaded by the
English Public.
This famous gin law" passed in
1885, is interesting as the earliest Sc
we're blow at liquor dealing among civ
ilized nations. It levied a tax of 2Os. a
gallon on spirits, and a license Of e5C
for any one selling or dealing in them.
And, being in advance of public opin-
ion, it failed, much as other more
stringent prohibition laws have failed
in our own day. For the cry was at
once raised that it taxed the poor mans
gin and let the rich mans wine go
free. Every wit. every oaricaturist, had
his fling at it. Ballads were hawked
around telling Of the approaching
death of Mother Gin. The liquor shops
were hung with black and celebrated
uproariously Nine. Geneya's lying in
state, her funeral, her wake and SO on.
The night before the law went into
effect, SO the contemporary journals
say, there was a universal revel all
over the country. Every one drank his
fill and carried home as much gin be-
sides as he could pay for.
To evade the law apothecaries sold
it in walls and small packages, some
times colored and disguised, generally
under false labels. such as "Colio
Water, Make Shift" Ladies' De-
light" There were printed directions
ON some of these packages. g., "'Take
two or three spoonfuls three or four
times day, or as often as the fit takes
you" Informers were very prominent
and exceedingly offensive. inventing
snares to catch lawbreakers for the sake
Of the heavy rewards, and spying and
sneaking around in way particularly
distasteful to the English mind. In con-
sequence they suffered in their turn.
The mere cry, Liquor spy" was
enough to raise a mob in the London
streets, and the informer was lucky if
he escaped with a sound thrashing and
a ducking in the Thames or the nearest
horse pond. Indeed. such an outcry was
made about the matter that the minis
try became very unpopular. and the
law was not enforced after two or three
years, and was largely modified in l748,
after seven years trial Popular Sci -
ence MONTHLY
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
REVIVED MEMORY.
When We Grow Old, We Recall tn,
Things of Long Ago.

When We Grow Old, We Recall the
Things of Long Ago.
About 70 years ago, upon rainy
day, small boy who had reached the
mature age of was sitting with his
mamma and bemoaning the state Of the
weather and accompanying absence of
novel entertainment Mamma wore ON
her finger beautiful ring that was a
family heirloom, and as she sewed pa
tiently the jewel glittered on her little
white hand. The small boy regarded
the bright bauble for some time in
silence and then sweetly requested
mamma to take it off and let him play
with it, 1t was weak thing TO do,
perhaps, but she complied l dare say
there are mothers at the present day
who can sympathize with her, for hu-
man nature is the same, though fash
ions change, and when the "dear
child looked up ia her face pleadingly
he looked with papa's eyes, and papa
was dead. So he got the ring and lost
it, as might have been expected. He
always insisted that he had "put it
away to keep" but he could never re-
member where.
The years went on. The gentle young
mother went out into the great un-
known to find the light of her life that
shone in ''papa's eyes," and the CEN
fury and the boy having been young
together grew old in company too
Finally age began to tell on them. The
century got troubled with a complaint
designated "fin de sieole, - and the boy
lost his memory for the things of to-
day, but became abnormally reminis-
cent in regard to the past. His thoughts
often turned back to the young mother
long dead. and in the decline Of life he
had as clear mental picture of her as
his boyish eyes had ever seen. One
evening, having pushed his spectacles
on top Of his head and hunted every
where for them vainly, he sat musing
before the fire. when suddenly a food
of light illuminated that dark corner
Of his memory where hung the picture
of that small edition of himself losing
or putting away" the ring. He sprang
to his feet with an excited cry: ''The
ring The ring / slipped it down the
crack in the window casing-the one
that looks out on the orohardp'
Upon investigation the ring was
brought from it's long hiding place.
which was the exact spot the old man
had described. Buffalo Express.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
THE BEST KNOWN FACE.

One Hundred Lilxenesses of Queen Victo-
ria For Every Living Person.
No man or woman who ever lived has
had his or her features reproduced Of
tener than her majesty the queen, says
the Boston Herald The number of ao-
tual photographs of her majesty in ex-
istence cannot be recorded, and there are
besides millions of reproductions. Take
the number of stamps sold in the United
Kingdom during the queens reign. The
number Of articles passing through Eng
lish, Scotch, Welsh and Irish postofSices
in recent year was nearly 5000, 600,
and, though, of course, that figure need
not be taken as an average, it is not go
ing beyond the mark to say that since
the accession of the queen over so, 900,
900, 900 postal dispatches have passed
through the postoffices of Great Britain.
Every one of these would bear at least
one stamp and many of them two or
three, and every stamp bears the image
of the queen. Eighty thousand million
images of her majesty must have gone
through the post during her record reign.
Then the record of the mint is by nc
means a small one since the coronation.
1t is estimated that about 6, 900, 900, 00C
coins in gold, silver and bronze have
passed through the hands of her males
TVS subjects, each coin bearing the fea.
lures of the sovereign. Her image has
been reproduced often enough to present
100 likenesses to every man, woman and
child on the globe. Without doubt the
queens is the best known face in the
world,
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
Forgot to Wear Trousers.

A certain noble lord, who shall be
nameless, during his journey north on
a political mission changed his costume
for full highland rig OUT" intend
ing it as delicate compliment to the
land Of the kilt, but when he looked
at himself in the glass he found that
the tailor had cut his kilt too short, so
he made up his mind to put on evening
dress.
He changed his upper garments and
then sat down for a few moments to
study his speech. This set him to sleep.
He awoke with start, only to find
himself running into the station. For
getting what happened, he thrust on
his hat and appeared at the window
bowling, and this was how he was
dressed:
He had a full highland costume as
far as his waist Above were a white
shirt and swallow tailed coat, and the
entire edifice was crowned with a chin
ney pot hat, upon which he sat down
without noticing it. His lordship's hor-
ror when he stepped upon the platform
and felt the keen wind cutting his bare
legs changed to absolute agony when
his valet appeared, serambling out Of
the carriage with a pair Of trousers in
his hands, waving them wildly and ex-
claiming, "My lord, my lord, you've
forgotten these London Telegraph.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
ARMY LIFE.
IT'S Social InformaIity Constitutes One Of
Its Great Charms.

IT'S Social InformaIity Constitutes One Of
Its Great Charms.
Army life is informal to a degree,
said Mrs. Custer, during a recent inter-
view. 1.-THE custom of using cards when
calling is only of very recent date
among officers wives. When 1 lived in
garrison. we should never have dreamed
of such thing 1t is only at a few Of
the larger posts. near the cities, where
there is anything like the formality of
civic life. The people in garrison are
like one great family Nothing that
deeply concerns any member is a matter
of indifference to the others, and the
spirit Of good fellowship is universal.
In time of sickness the friendly helpful
ness of the women for each other is
shown strongly Many a time have
known a number of women to detail
themselves, in regular military fashion,
to duty in the house of sickness at GER
tain hours. relieving one another
through the day and night with abso-
lutte precision, so that the sick persen
should never be left without an attend
ant
with all this close intimacy there
is surprisingly little friction or i'll feel
ing. There are, of course, at every post
a few people who are disagreeable or
hard to get along with, but they cause
no more trouble in general than they
do in their own households. They be-
long, we feel, to our army family, and
their shortcomings must be overlooked
just as we should overlook the faults Of
a husband or brother or sister No dis
tinctions between rich and poor are
ever observed There is occasionally a
question about calling upon new ar
rivals, but it is solely ON account Of
reputation and honor If there has been
anything discreditable to the good
name of AN officer or his wife. the cir
oumstances must be investigated before
other families of the post will call !"
PHILADELPHIA Times
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
A GOOD STORY.
The Native Seemed Innocent, but He Was
Very Knowing.

The Native Seemed Innocent, but He Was
Very Knowing.
was sitting on key of nails in a
West Virginia mountain store watching
a native dickering with the merchant
over trade of basket of eggs for a
calico dress After some time bargain
was closed, the native walked out with
the dress in bundle under his arm
and followed him.
1T isn't any business of mine" I
said, but was watching that trade
and was surprised to see you let the
eggs go for the dress. .
"What fer?" he asked in astonish-
ment, as he mounted his horse.
How many eggs did you have?"
"Basketful -
"How many dozen?"
Dunno; can't count.
"That's where you miss the advan-
tages of education. With knowledge
you might have got two dresses for
those eggs"
"But didn't want two dresses, mis-
ter" he argued
Perhaps not, but that was no reason
why you should have paid two prices
for one. The merchant got the advan-
tage of you because of his education
He knew what he was about. "
He looked at me for minute, as if
he felt real sorry for me, Then he
grinned and pulled his horse over close
to me.
81 reckon, he half whispered, cast
ing furtive chances toward the store,
''his eddication amt SO much more n
mine ez you think it is. He don't know
how many nv them aigs is spilled. an /
do" And he rode away before could
argue further. Boston Herald.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14

The soldiers bed varies notably in the
different European armies. According
to DR.. Viry, the following are the prin-
cipal varieties, in which, perhaps, we
may see the reflection of national char
acteristics. In England the bed is hard
The soldier lies ON a thin mattress that
rests on canvas stretched over frame
In Spain the soldier has only straw
bed, but he is allowed besides this pill
low, two sheets, two blankets and
covered quilt, sometimes even a cover
for the feet. 1t is almost sybaritic In
Germany and Austria he has simple
straw bed with one or two covers,
neither sheet nor mattress. In Russia,
until recently, the soldier slept with
his clothes on on camp bed, but now
ordinary beds begin to be used-the re-
suit of contact with more civilized
countries. After this it cannot be doubt
ed that the French soldiers bed is the
best of all, with it's wooden or iron bed
stead, a straw bed, wool mattress,
sheets, a brown wooden coverlet and
an extra quilt for cold weather. Thus
the bed of the French soldier is the soft
est of all soldiers beds, as that Of the
French peasant is acknowledged also to
be the best Of all European countries. =
British Medical Record
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
THE SUBJECT WAS DROPPED
Tilt at Banquet Between Two Well
Known Men.

Tilt at a Banquet Between Two Well
known Men.
"That reminds me, 2 remarked an old
pioneer to San Francisco Post reporter,
when General Halleck 8 name was men
toned, "of the banquet we gave Hal
leck in 1866, when he returned from the
war The people here were proud of
him, for he had more than regained the
laurels he lost at Corinth, when he per-
cover of big battery of wooden guns
that had been made out of logs during
the night.
Among the friends of Halleck who
met him at the banquet was Bully
Waterman, the old sea captain, who in
early days commanded clipper ship
plying between San Francisco and New
York On one voyage he had laid big
wager to beat rival clipper, but when
he found on going to sea that some of
his crew who had shipped as ablebodied
seamen we're incompetent he was so mad
he hanged three to the yard. Just how
many were hanged was never known,
Dut Waterudn was tllou Aol Huruor anu
acquitted
During one of those silences that
will fall over the merriest of banquets
General Halleck called to Waterman,
who was at the other end of the room:
"'Now that you have been tried and
acquitted, Waterman, won't you tell us
how many men you hanged on that voy-
age?'
Eyes, general, l will, responded
Waterman, if you will first tell us how
many wooden guns stopped you at Cor
! NTH.
.'The subject dropped there"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14

The Louisville Courier Journal tells
a story of a good old mother who re-
oeived a dreadful shock the other day
through telegram from her boy, who is
in New York enjoying himself. AS en-
joying ones self sometimes costs mon
ey, it is not strange that the young man
sent the following somewhat slangy dis
patch for more funds to his father:
Had my leg pulled. Broke. Send
me $50 by wire.
When the mother read this appeal,
she was plunged in grief.
my poor boy" she moaned. "He
must have been in one of those cable
car things. Send him 500, father, and
tell him to get the best doctor in the
citv -
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1897-09-14
ON THE STRENGTH OFAFlVE.
A Young Map Who Found 1t Cheaper to
Travel Without Change.

A Young Map Who Found It Cheaper to
Travel Without Change.
Washington, from what have seen
of it, is a peculiar place, said the Wis
iting young man to reporter.
'I'll tell you why think So" he
continued. 1.-THE other day was going
over to Baltimore, and on consulting
my watch discovered had but few
minutes in which to catch my train. I
struck the avenue at Fourteenth street
and boarded car.
when the conductor came round for
my fare, l put my hand in my pocket
and found had nothing less than a So
bill. The conductor glanced at it, then
at me, and shook his head disapprov-
ingly.
" I can't change that, he said.
81 told him it was the smallest /
had, but he said then he could not
change anything larger than a 80 bill;
that they were not required by law to
do SO. began to think would have to
get off and walk, when he came to my
relief by saying that / could get the
bill changed and pay him at the end Of
the line, near the depot.
II thought this was very considerable
When we reached the terminus, | told
the conductor that could have the So
changed and pay him, starting for a
place on the corner.
That's all right. Go onI Go ont
he told me, waving his hand as if be
owned the railroad.
However, l tried to have the bill
broken unsuocessfully. Just then re-
membered l wished to communicate
something to a friend up town and
asked if could use pay telephone in
corner of the room.
"'Y You could use it all right if you
had 10 cents in change, the proprietor
told me, but you haven't it. Come
back here in my office and use my
private phone. That's all right, when
l was profuse in my thanks.
''Say, do you know what I think,
continued the young man. ST believe l
could get 500 bill and live in the
capital for weeks for nothing, simply
by getting things and showing it under
the noses of the people l purchased
from. They would rather give them to
me than take the trouble to break it. y
And then he remarked that the only
difficulty would be in securing the bill
in the first place. Washington Star