davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
HE'S HAPPY NOW.

Samuel William Jenkins Stone
To glory went Albumin.
He took hold of life's telephone
And hollered, "I'm a-cominl"
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

For ten years we have been endeavor-
ing to purchase lot wherein to erect a
building for the Billville Banner, but
until recently, when prosperity struck
us and took up its abode in our midst,
we We're unable to do so. Yesterday the
old cemetery was sold at auction, and
we bid it in for ST. We ere now NOV
ing The Banner into one of the most
commOdious vaults it contains, and we
are as cheerful as we can be under the
circumstances We don't believe in
ghosts Many of the dead in the con-
fines of our new purchase were ancient
bill collectors, and they got so tired
running after us that they were glad TO
rest, and we feel that they need all the
rest they can get
AS news items were short this week, |
we contented ourselves with copying
few of the many epitaphs scattered
around us It's true they are now in the
class with the dead matter, but we still |
think our readers will be interested in
them. Most of our readers are dead |
heads anyhow, so they won't take this
graveyard departure amiss. So here
goes:
A BRIGHT FUTURE.
Beneath this plain pine board is lying
The body Of Joshua Hight
Cheer up, the parson told him, dying
Your futures very bright"
Slowly the sick man raised his head,
His weeping friends amazing.
"Parson, it's most too bright" he said,
"For can see it blazing!'
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
Terrific.

Does Jawbett, the pugilist, strike a
hard blow?'
Hard? Well, say, in his last scrap
he knocked the other fellow clear out of
range of the kaleidoscope New York
} Jurnal
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

"Yon know what hatred Brown has
for crowd:
"Yes, indeed What of it?''
His wife presented him with trip
lets yesterday indianapolis Journal.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
Never Satisfied.

We'll, Tommy, you've got your new
bicycle at last, and l presume you are
satisfied
Nome. I'd like to have the fixin Of
the weather now. They's too blame
much rainr'-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
So Fascinating.

He-What do you find so fascinating
about surf bathing?
She-Oh, merely the habit!-Brook-
lyn Life.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
Against Strikes.

mo, Stree, said Mr. Weary Wal
ker, II don't believe in strikes. If some
body don't work, how is the rest of us
Soin TO eat;' --lnGlanapolis Journal
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
ON WILLIAM BLIMM.

Beneath this stone in sleep profound
Lies Major William Blimm.
He put five wives beneath the ground,
But the sixth one buried him.
She would not call him back again,
Being Of strong endurance.
He left this weary world of pain
And also some insurance.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

well, l thought dlu, put the nelr-
ess / had my eyes ON wouldn't have
me. Chicago Post
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
Not His Match.

Il never like to quarrel with my
husband.
"Of course not.
HE can always think of meaner
things to say than can. columbus
(O.) State Journal
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

A LIFE OFFTCEHOLDER.
He's left this world of pain and strife
And reached the other side.
He held an Office all his life,
Resigning when he died.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

She-WEat act did you like best at
the play?
He-The usher's act when he cried
"Hats off," to the ladies' Brooklyn
Life
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
ON MR. RoBER.

Here, where the breeze the blossom shakes
Lies Andrew johnson Rober.
He saw the devil and great snakes.
Moral-Good folks, stay soberl
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
Prosperity EIuded Him.

Il thought you said you saw pros.
-"e-nns times ahead d"
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
HIS LAST REQUEST

Dying, he said, Don't weep for me,
My darling wife-please don't"
She looked as smiling as could be
And said, "You bet / won'tl"
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
ON A PARTY WHO WAS LYNCHED.

They lynch him on an old oak tree
That bi, IN the slope,
And then tGCy made his family
Settle the bill for rope.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
ON AN UNHAPPY SPOUSE.

Sleep, my dearest, in the dust.
Death gives to hope its birth.
You're happy now, is what we trust.
You never were on earth.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

ON HER FIRST HUSBAND.
Sleep, my husband, sleep away.
On another ! may lean,
But I'll make him-every day
Hoe your grave and keep it green.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11
VERSE FROM A VAULT
NEW DEPARTURE BY THE EDITOR
OF THE BILLVILLE BANNER.

Being Short of News He Prints a Few of
the Epitaphs Scattered Around His
New Sanctum-Many of Them Point a
Moral For His Subscribers.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

TROUBLE IN STORE FOR HIM.
Here Spottswood Jones is lying dead.
On earth he was a teacher.
"I'n meet three wives in heaven" he said
Lord help you'll" said the preacher.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

ON A FERTILIZER AGENT.
Six feet beneath
This funeral wreath
Is laid upon the shelf
One Jerry Jones,
Who dealt in bones,
And now he's bones himself.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-10-11

lyn Life
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09
A LONG INSIDE PASSAGE.

navigating che Ocean Among Thousands
of Islands.
Whatever may be said-and much can
be-of the beauties of the Alaskan coast,
it is not inviting to the seafaring man,
and especially the master who is taking
u ship by tho inside route frcm Puget
sound to Sitka or juneau for the first
time, feat, so it is claimed, impossi-
BILE of accomplishment by continuous
voyage save through the assistance of
good pilot. This passagew
by the mainland coasts of British CO.
lumhia and Alaska and chain of is.
lands ranging in length from to $50
milcs--is from 100 yards to several
miles in width. The channels proper
are of unusual depth. In places from
300 to 400 fBthoms Of water are fro
Quently found. From the smooth, CLASSY
surface lodges and reefs, assassins of
the sea. lurk, ready to send some ship,
humanity laden, to the bottom. In these
waters the lead is supplanted by whistle
echoes from the land, this being tho
only method during fog by which the
captain or pilot guides his vessel along
rtiu way
Old sea captains say there is no wa
ter course in tho world where in unfa-
vorable weather such skill il required
as to guide ship via the channels on
voyage from tho sound and return, the
round trip to Sitka being more than
half the distance Of the voyage across
the Atlantic. The Pacific Coast Steam.
ship company's vessels running to Alas
ka are always manned with two pilots
each in the winter and spring and are
never without one pilot, With at least
two of this company's vessels now run
ming to Alaska the captains themselves
served m apprenticeship of many years
at plotting,
The outside passage, the one by the
open ocean, is seldom used, on account
of the 'unfavorable winds which prevail
for u distance of over 90 miles out to
sea, rendering n vessels progress much
slower, to say nothing of the danger of
ships being caught in gale and driven
ashore. With the danger from wreck
almost eliminated by the employment
of professional pilots, the inside passage
is rendered most delightful voyage, ms
it abounds in beautiful scenery and is
free from winds. Seattle Post -Intelli.
gencer.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09

to other kinds OF plants, such as ger
anums strawberries. etc. but in all cases
blue light proved Injurious to vegeta-
ton, and plants that were exposed 10
its influence for months showed no
development. All the functions of the
plant organism seemed to be suspended.
The fruit OF strawberry plants devel.
oped under bells of different colors. but
varied considerably in size and quality,
as in some cases the leaves were devel-
oped at the expense OF the fruit and in
other cases, as when the plants were
exposed to blue light, growth was i'm
peded in every way
BY max NJ these investigations Flam-
marion has given an Impulse 10 the
study of the subject, and now results
will be obtained which will be of pracu-
cal use in gardening and the propoga
ton OF plants Der stein der Weisen,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09
ARY 8, 1897. SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH.

him She is not at all strong nd she
could not stand the wear and tear Of an
evening reception. 1t took all OF Mrs.
Cleveland's vitality to enable her to
carry out her part during her iirst years
in the White House. | know OF recep.
tons at which she shook hands with at
least S, 90 people, and at which il seemed
to me she gave smile to each one and
not two alike. Mrs. Harrison tried to
save herself by not Shaking hands. and
at some Of the receptions she carried a
bouquet in order to show the people
that she could not do this. Some think
that ii was the care, overworS and
worry OF the White House which killed
her, and the same is said 10 have caused
the death OF the first Mrs. Tyler and
also OF Mrs. Fillmore, although she sur
vived, believe. until a lew weeks after
she left the White House. 1t was in the
blue room that Mrs. Cleveland was mar.
ried and here she babe goodbye to her
guests and took the carriage with the
President to the special car on the
Baltimore and Ohio road, which was
secretly waiting almost hall mile from
iii. station, to take the White House
bride and groom to their honeymoon
cottage at Deer Park.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09
FEATRERED DRUNKARDS.
Shocking Depravity on the Part of Birds
Witnessed by Andrew Lang.

Witnessed by Andrew Lang.
A queer story is told by Mr.. Andrew
Lang. The incident came under his own
notice and occurred under the bridge
over the Lochy, below the Ben Nevis
Long John distillery. From this tale it
is obvious that animals are only sober
from lack of wit to obtain alcohol:
THAT establishment disgorges into u
burn quantity Of refuse, no doubt al
coholic When we crossed the bridge in
the morning to fish, the ducks from the
farm opposite were behaving in a drunk
en- and disorderly manner-fying, beat
ing the water, diving, spluttering and
greedily devouring the stuff from the
distillery. Their antics were funny, but
vulgar By 9 O'Clock We found the
ducks sleeping off the effects of their
debauch. We awakened them, and they
all staggered eagerly to bucket of wa.
ter, from which they quenched the tor
ments of thirst. A small sea bird behay-
ed in still more deplorable way. He
slowly drifted down the Lochy from the
fatal Intoxicating burn, nor could peb-
bles judiciously thrown at him induce
him TO take the wing. He tried TO dive,
making efforts comic and unsuccessful
After drifting through the bridge re-
greet to say that he returned to the burn
and took d cup Of kindness yet" get
ting all the more intoxicated and drift
ing back in "a yet more deplorable oondi-
ton. What Il lesson. we said, is this to
mankind, who, after all, need not speak
of their boosted reasonablenessl The
wild and tame things of stream and
ocean are as unwise us we. ="
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09

1t will be in the blue room that Presi
dent Mckinley will receive at such
times. This has been the custom from
time immemorial, and it will not be
changed. | doubt, however, whether
Mrs. Mckinley will be able to be with
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09
THE WHITE HOUSE IN 1897. o.
Five Hundred New and Cosby Items About
President McKney's New Home.

az 46oW tie Executive 10d7H Ne0 Electric Fam ana
What Whe House Good
Enough yoneM Costly and HangingSd Look The Far
Tile Font Door and Tie f6om NSO,ae Wh House
Tragedies and Other Matter Interesting Home Of the United
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-09

HAVE spent some time this
week getting information
about President McKinley's
new home. | have had a
photographer with me in the
White House, and have gone
over the different rooms al
most with a tape line to let
you know how your new
ruler is to be housed. The
White House has been greatly
changed within the past few
years. All kinds of improve
ments have been made, and
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18

0NE EOFTHE PRETTY YOUNG MISSES
of Bakersfield is Miss Edna Lisson.
The above portrait gives but partial view
OF this beautiful girl. Her mother, Mrs.
A. Llsson, vouches for the following:
ABOUT two years ago Edna was suffering
from eruptlons of the skin Her face, her
hands, her body were at times all COM
ptetely covered with blotches of small
plmples. Many were the remedies tried to
no avail. All kinds of soaps, ointments
and doctors prescriptions availed not.
About this time joys Vegetable Sarsa-
parilla was recommended. The first bot
tie was used and the only change for the
better was the regularity of the bowels and
the bright clearness of the eyes. After the
second bottle Edna began to get well.
She not only became strong and hearty,
but all the facial blemishes disappeared,
and is now the beautiful young lady you
see before you.
This story is not colored just to boom
joys Vegetable Sarsaparilla. The above
story is about the mildest way of telling
the actual facts concerning the blood
remedy, joys Vegetable Sarsaparilla,
Doctors have often been puzzled and sgive
it up''-about joys. 1t is a peculiar herb
remedy. 1t contains no mineral poisons.
1t is made entirely of herbs. The only
people who speak against the remedy are
the druggists who have "a BETTER
PROFIT sarsaparilla. When you want a
good blood medicine that produces no
pimples take joys Vegetable SarsapariIla.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
. MAJOR Mckinley rs BETTER.
Takes Drive With His Wife in the Sum
shine, but Cannot Receive HIS
MANY Callers.

CANTON, OHIO. Feb. 17.-Maior Nc
Kinley is considerably better this evening.
He took, upon the advice of his physician,
a short drive this afternoon, while the sun
was bright and the air warm. Mrs. Nc
Kinley, who has also been suffering with
la grippe, accompanied him. 1t Is not
likely that after his recovery he will see
any visitors save the few for whom he
sends.
Mr.. Hanna returned to Cleveland this
afternoon. He came to make a friendly
call upon Major Mckinley and to ask
about his health. Mr.. Hanna has recov-
cred his own health and is in fine condi-
ton again. The feeling in Ohio Is that he
will be appointed to succeed Senator
Sherman.
General w. w. Deadley, who is a frie n d
Of Major Mckinley, called to-day to speak
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
WETLER CONTINUES TO TALK,
Bat as Fighter His Record Is Not
Very Complete

Bat as FIGHTER His Record Is Not
Very Complete.
HAVANA, CUBA, Feb. 1Z.-General View
Ter to-day received the provincial authori-
ties of Sancti Spiritus. He said that the
revolution i'll Cuba from its very berin-
ming had taken the character of a bripand
war and that the insurgents had. when
ever possible, avoided engagements with
the Spanish forces. He prophesied the
early ending of the revolution and de-
clared that the pacifcation of the island
would soon be an accom- plished fact. Gem
eral Weyler remains il the Sancti Spiritus
district.
A hot fight is reported to have occurred
between band of rebels and Spanish
force in the Tigre Hills in Las Villas, re-
sulting in numerous losses to the lnsur-
gents and the capture OF the positions oc-
cupied by them. The Spaniards lost nine
killed and thirty-one wounded.
General Linares reports that the troops
of his column have seized at Cauto
Baireare CONVOY with a quantity of
ammunition and supplies.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
BUSINESS OF THE HOUSE.
Determination to Limit the Pens ions of
Otfcers' Wid0tUs.

officers WidotUs.
WASHINGTON, D. c., Feb. 17.-By
the very decisive vote of SO to % the
House to-day confirmed its intention to
abide by the policy of limiting pensions
for widows of general officers to $50
month and grading from that sum down
for widows of officers of low rank.
The question arose over the report of
the conferees on the bill to pension the
widow of Captain ]. Scott Payne of the
Fifth United States Cavalry. 1t was
Senate bill and the amount of pension
was originally fixed at $50 month. The
House reduced it 10 $50, but in conference
the House managers yielded to the Sena-
tors and recommended that the House
recede from its amendment. This the
House refused to do, after an hours de-
bate, in which the matter was fully dis
cussed, and disposed of by the vote stated
and the bill was returned to the con-
feRes.
Ihe conference report on the legislative
executive and judicial appropriation bill
presented by MIR. Bingham was agreed 10.
The principal changes made were in the
provisions for the Congressional Library.
As agreed upon the bill authorizes the
President to appoint a librarian and su-
perintendent, who must be confirmed by
the Senate, shall receive $1,000 year and
appoint the subordinates in their respect
i've epartments-1S7 all told. The bill
carries total appropriation OF $2l,7l5, 767.
The bill enactlng that all reservoir sites,
reserved or TO be reserved, shall be open
to use and occupation under the right of
way act OF March 3, 1891 which was made
the special order for tomorrow, was de-
bated two hours and passed. Amend
ments were agreed to giving the State con-
troll of the rates and regulations for the
use of the water coming from the reser-
voirs.
The House entered upon the considera-
ton of the contested election case of
Hopkins VS.. Kendall from the Tenth Ken
tuchy District, based upon the use OF an
illegal and fraudulent ballot in Clark
County. Without the vote of that county
Hopkins (R.) would be elected, anc the
minority recon amended that it be thrown
out and the contestant seated.
The majority of the committee, while
condemning the action of the clerk of the
county, who prepared the ballot, do not
believe that the vote should be re jected,
and recon mmend that Kendall retain his
seat.
Judge Daniels (R.) of New York ad-
dressed the House in support of the COM
mittee report, and the House at 2:15 P. NJ.
adjourned.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18

for moment with the President-elect and
Mr.. Hanna about the matter of sele citing
an escort to accompany Major Mckinley
from the depot in Washington to his
hotel. There will probably be no military
escort.
Mrs. J. Ellen Foster was here to-day to
present an application for the appoint
ment of a friend. She had an interview
with Hon. Joseph P. Smith. but did not
see the President-elect. Major Mckinley
will see no visitors this week.
Captain II. o. S. Heistand, who has
been Major McKinley's confidential secre-
tary since last May, and who is on duty
from in the morning until II at night,
is quite i'll with la grippe,
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
Fn,.nderrd nt Sec.

LONDON, Eng, Feb. 1.-THE German
ship Baltimore, which sailed from this
port for New York, Decem Der 10, found
cred at sea on January "a One of her
crew, a seaman named Christensen, was
picked up January % by the Portuguese
schooner Alice and landed at Vincent.
1t is feared the remainder of the Balti-
more's crew were lost. The Baltimore
was formerly the Volunteer. She was q
three master of 1888 tons and owned in
Bremerhaven, from which port she hailed.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18

every step from the persistent fighting OF
the Cubans, the Spaniards ptreated to
the town, reaching it after clock. One
section of the column did not reach the
town because it was dispersed in the plain
when Lieutenant Pena was killed. AM
reports agree that Colonel Arjanes behaved
oraveiy. The terrible slaughter Of his
men was due to his inca pacitv and the
superiority OF Gomez as strategist rather
tnan to lack of courage on his part. But
alter MS defeat was so decisive the Span
iaros prefer to preserve silence over the
aiialrs rather than praise and promote
hlm' as they have repeatedly done in the
case OF less courageous chiefs.
Inc Cuban losses at Juan Criollo are in
Significant as compared with those of the
Spanlards. Colonel Lopez and Lieuten-
ant John Diaz were killed and about
seventy soldiers also perished.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
SHERMAN'S SUCCESSOR.
Another Report That Hanna Wilt Not Be
Appointed.

another Report That Hanna WfH Not BE
appointed.
COLUMBUS, OHIO, Feb 17.-There was
a conference between Governor Bushnell
and Charles L. Kurtz, chairman of the
Republican State Executive Committee,
IN the Governors office to-day, lasting
nearly all the afternoon. Though Gov
ernor Bushnell denied after the conference
that there we're any new developments in
the Senatorial situation, the report comes
very direct that it was decided at this
conference not to appoint Chairman
Hanna to the vacancy, and that the Gov
ernor had not really made up his mind as
to this until to-day. Kurtz now holds the
offlce of State Oil Inspector, which pays
about four times the salary OF United
States Senator. If Kurtz does not take
the appointment, it will probably be
given to Lieutenant Governor Jones.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
INoANDEsoENr LAMP Pool.
Gigantic Trust to Regulate Prices All
Orer the (Ounfru

CHICAGO, ILL, Feb. ia Chronicle
special says the latest gigantic trust has
this city for its birthplace and J. H.
Rothenhamel, president of the Columbia
Incandescent Lamp Company, as its
author ana promoter. The com bine
differs from similar pools in that it will
undertake to regulate the price CT incan-
descent lamps all over the country by a
series OF suits for infringement of patents
against lesser concerns.
The parties to tie pool are the Colum.
bia, st. Louis, Westinghouse. Pittsburg,
Edison General Electric New York and
companies in several Eastern cities. The
agreement is that each of these companies
shall deposit $4,000 with the treasurer oil
the Westinghouse company.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
an but One seomeu Lost.

NEW YORK. N. Y. Feb. IA dis
patch to the Maritime Exchange SAYS that
the German ship Baltimore, Captain Hill
man from London for New York. sprang
aleak and foundered at sea January "a.
All the crew excepting one man was lost.
He, Gustave Christensen, was picked up
and landed at Cape Verde.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
Fif@,snmons at Colorado Springs.

GLENWOOD SPRINGS, CoLo., Feb. II.
PugiIist Fitzsimmons and party arrived
from LeadviIIe at 10:15 o'clock this morn
ing and spent the day resting and looking
over the town. Fitzsimmons was the hero
of the hour ana had many callers at the
hotel. He is in good spirits and is look
ing forward 10 the big fight with the
greatest confidence. In the evening he
gave a sparring exhibition with his
trainer, Hickey, and the audience wen
wild with enthusiasm. The party left for
Salt Lake at 10 O'Clock tonight where it
will arrive at noon tomorrow. Fitzsim-
mons will appear at the Grand Opera
House in Salt Lake and leave for Carson,
Nevada, after the performance tomorrow
night.
The San Francisco call., 1897-02-18
Gofoott Start. for London.

BERLIN, GERMANY, Feb. 17-United
States Senator Wolcott was entertained
at dinner last evening by Mr.. Squres of
the United States EN- bassy. This morning
he had an interview with the Imperial
Chancellor. Prince Hohenlohe At noon
Wolcott started for London. He was ac-
companied to the station by the secre.
taries of the American EN- mbassy.