Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1897-06-05
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Beggar-Please. sir, I'm so exhaust
ed can't get my breath and Cen
tleman-Here's 3 cents go and buy one
Harlem Life.
How dreadfullv stout the general Is
Setting!' Yes. isn't 1t fortunate! Otn-
erWise he wouldn't be able to wear all
his medalsr Punch
Mr.. New Hub-What does it mean
when bride promises TO obey Mrs
New Hub-Simply that she prefers not
to make scene.-Puck.
rs that a good hen, Uncle JOSH" "A
good hen?" said Uncle Josh, why, that
ar hen lays eggs as big as hailstulS.'
Detroit Free Press.
She-What a little mouth your young
lady friend has! 1t doesn't look large
enough to hold her tongue. He-H
/ doesn't.-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Newed-Was l nervous, dear,
during the ceremony? Miss Spitegirl--
Well, a trifle, at first. darling. OHt not
after William had said yes.-Truth.
Mrs. Ton-You used to say ] was the
light of your life. Mr. Ton-Yes, and
suppose that's why you are 50 easily
put out now we are married.-Judy.
Barnes Tormer-Talk about your
frosts! Why, boy came down from
the gallery and wanted his money back
because he was afraid to stay alone
Life.
She-It must have taken great deal
of persistence on your part to learn TO
play the violin so well. He-It did. l
had to go constantly armed for i've
years.-Life.
But we cannot live on papa" protest
ed the savage's bride to be; "he is
he is fatter." said the cannibal.-De-
troit Journal
An old woman quite repellent comes
in. DO you think you can find nus
band for meY' she asks. Agent-Per-
haps--if some blind man comes ill.,
L'Illustre de Poche.
Did YOU divide your bonbons with
your little brother, Mollie?" Eyes, ma;
l ate the candy and gave him the mot
toes. You know he is awfully fond Of
reading. -Pick-Me-Up.
you poor schoolma'ams are woeful
ly underpaid.' "Oh, l don't know. |
have taken enough chewing gum away
from the children to last me three
years. "-Indianapolis Journal.
"Ah, my poor man." said the benevo-
lent old lady, Il suppose you are often
pinched by want and hunger, are you
not?" "Yessum, and by de cops.
cinnati ommercial-Tribune.
And are the divorce laws so very
liberal in your section" Liberal? Say!
They are so liberal that nobody ever
heard of a woman crying at wedding
out there. Journal.
He-NIiss Bellacour claims to belong
to very old family. She-Well, she's
justified. There are six of those girls
and the youngest Of them must be at
least 5."-Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Chink has hit on plan to keep
her husband from smoking in the par
lor." What did she do?" she hung
. lUp VI Ilcl tLlC< AOlAhNA nus
bands there. Chicago Record.
Bachelor-Do you think a man will
have bad luck If he gets married on
Friday? Benedict-Oh, l don't think II
makes any difference whether it's Fri
day or not.-Yonkers Statesman.
Truth crushed to earth will rise
again." quoted the earnest man.
True" replied Senator Sorghum; but
in MANY cases. not until after the ref
cree has counted ten" -Washington
Star.
.She-Tell me, dearest, do you really
tell me all your thoughts? He-Cer-
tainly. nv darling; more than that,
even. Every day l tell you hundreds
of things without even thinking-An-
SWerS.
The Farmers Wife-Would you be
willing TO saw some wood for your
breakfast? Fluent Fontleroy-It would
be useless, madam. My teeth are not
as good as they once were.-CornelI
Widow.
so YOU think with the bishop that
the crowd at Carson was not compos-
ed of average Americans" "Of course
| do. The average man was too hard
I'D 10 go."-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
1T is very hard to learn to ride oi-
cycle?" asked the pretty girl of her
cousin Will, who had taken three les
sons well" said VIII, ruefully,
when you hit the ground 1t IS
Washington Times.
Jinks cat a party)-I don't see WHAT'S
the matter with that pretty woman
over there. She was awfully firty