The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-09-29
BILL ARP'S LETTER.
A Discussion of Iune Brides and De-
Cember Grooms.
tLduta Constitution,

tresscs me, especially when the trou'
bic is of a domestic character. Now
here is a letter from a MAJ who says.
II know a mana ncighbor-who i:
Of a warm, atfectionate, passionate ma
ture and loves his wife to distraction
but she is calm and cold and cohser
vative by nature and, therefore, in
different to his caresscs, and whencv
er he ventures to kiss her and put hi:
arms around her she rcpcls him with:
oh, Tom, get away, don't bother
me- She is a pure, good woman, ano
loves her husband in her way, but shc
never meets him at the door when he
comes home tired or disappointed with
his days work. The poor fellow is
really pining away and languishing
fer lack of lovc-for reciprocity, as it
were, and can't get it. Now, what is
the remedy? Can't you bring your
universal philosophy to bear upon this
case and solve the problcm?'
No, [ cannot. | am helpless.
Nothing but time will cqualize anC
harmonize that couple. / am afrait
their union was a misft, but he tool
her for better Or worse, and must be
reconciled. In fact. he ought to be
thankful in these degenerate days
that he has found a pure, good woman.
even if she is not as tumultuOus in
her love as he would like her to be,
But time is a good doctor. Time vii.
assuage him down some and will tone
her up some, for a man and his wife
get more and more alike as the years
roll on. There were some good friends
at my house last night and | serious:
ly read to chem this letter and asked
for advice about answering it. They
all agreed hat the mar was not writ
ing about his neighbor, but was relat'
ing his own pitiful condition.
A married man said; "Writc him to
get away and quit bothering her when
she says
A bachelor friend said, "Write him
to firt a little with another mans
wife and then she will come to her SEN
ses mighty quick and return his caress-
es."
"That is all you know about it,"
said another dame. "Thc firtations
Of a husband destroys love and happi-
ness, too. They are more apt to bring
contempt and even scorn. a true wo-
man will suffer and endure any fault
or failing except that"
A young married woman said timid-
ly, "She must be a very strange kind
Of a woman not to like caressing, but
I do think she ought to meet him at
the door and give him a smile or two
| when he comes home"
"He must be a right good man, and
I am sorry for him." a lassie in her
teens.
cor maybe he is so horrid coarse
and ugly that no sclf-respecting wo-
man would want him bothering her
for kisses and caresses every time he
came about" said a lassie out Of her
teens"
"Maybe he smoked and his breath
was disagreeablc.' said a benedict who
never used tobacco.
So 1 got but little comfort from this
goodly company and my wife continu-
ed the conversation by remarking in
her quiet way, "Well, I think your
friend had better have kept his misery
to himself. Let him stick to his
promises that he made at the altar.
"Or apply for a writ Of mandamus
and make her kiss him according to
law" said a learned judge who was
present. IT would make her recipro-
cate if the case was in my court. The
| writ of mandamus is Il far-reachlng
and efectual process"
Well, of course, the conversation
drifted to the topic Of May and De,
cember marriages, with grooms of
more than three score and ten and
brides of tender years. We all agreed
that if such q groom had anything to
leave such a bride besides his name
and would depart this life in a reason
| able time, she was justified in marry
ing him. But in the first place, the
property should be in sight the "quid
pro quo" and it SHOULD be fixed, set.
tied, lowered, dotetailcd, clinchcd
upon her, and there should be an i'm
piled contract that he should die in
Strict accordance with the death rate:
the expectation laid down in the life
insurance tables. Indeed. if the late
frequency of old men marrying young
women is to be multiplied to an
alarming extent, there should be es-
tablished a death insurance office SC
that the young girl could go to it and
get a policy insuring the old mans
death in a limited time, and if lie
didn't die within the time, the com
pany should pay her so much as she
insured for-say So 5000 or $4,000 or
$50, 900, as the case may be. With
the money Of course she could live dc.
Gently and even secure a divorce Oh
the ground Of fraud-fraud in not dy'
ing according to hope and expectation
and an implied promise. Why,
know a lady who married an old man
twcnty-eighty years ago. He was sixty
and size was twenty, and as sweet ano
pretty as a pink. He was rich and
sickly and he agreed to settle on hel
$50, 900, to be paid at his death. He
looked like he would die in Il year
but, bless your souls, my sweet young
sisters, he is living yet, and she looks
nearly as old as he does. Her bloom
of youth is gone. When she married
she was an orphan, and soon became
worse than an orphan, and she /:
childlcss. What a mistake she made
What a fraud was pcrpctrated upor
her. What a wreck Of earthly happi
ness. Young girls, bcwarc! These
unions are not according to nature anC
they shock the judgment and the sen
timcnt of mankind. There arc widow:
enough to take these venerable widow
ers, but let the maidcns remain single
if they cannot get young man OF thci>
choice.
And now, as a supplement to my
late Indian letters. let me say that my
inquiry about Lieutenant PaSchal
who married Sarah, the halr-brccC
daughter Of John Ridge, has been an
swcrcd by Mr.. G. a. Lilly, a nephew