Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-12-13
SHOES CAME
HOW MIR. AND MRS. ALGERNoN sMITs'
 DISPOSED OF A NUISANCE. a

of tho Furnace, and All Is We'll.
 A rag peddler was slowly passing Mrs. Aigernon Smith house when that good woman hailed him.
 "How much for old shoes?" i "Helluv cent pount for wool an cotton I gant puy ole shoes y
 But won't you give mo something for them2'
 Any iron or pottles you want to sell, lady? You want to sell dose t'ings vat you haf on? Helluv cent pount. gan no moro gif. want not dose shoes, not for nottings. Nottings else?"
 Mrs. Smith indignantly closed the window When her husband came home at night, she said:
 "Algernon, want you to take lot of old shoes I've done up in package and throw them away"
 'sWhy don't you give them to the washerwoman?" asked Mir. Smith.
 She won't havo them-says they're ne5-her kind of shoes, was tho answer. "They arc all either too large or too small, the heels arc too high, and they nro the wrong number l offered them to a tramp, and he said when he went l into tho shoe business he would let me know-he wasn't buying mistits yet"
 1T like his impudenee. Where are they? I'll maLe short work of them, '' said Mir. Smith. and he took the big bundle his wife gave him and went out. Ill 16 minutes he was back.
 "So you got rid of them,' said hif' wife joyfully. t'I think there was en accumulation of six years In that lot. Some of them had given to people who were begging at the door, but I al- ways found them again next day in the lot. Old shoes are like cats, if you send them away they always come back. /"
 "The cat won't come back this time," said her husband 1T dumped them in 6 vacant lot and ran. After this when you buy pair of new shoes leave your old ones at the store y
 1 Next morning as Mrs. Smith was do- ing her homework the door bell rang. 1T guess maybe you've had bur glary,n said the cheery voice of man 1 who stood on the steps and seemed in a hurry. T found this bundle, with your name and address on 1t, when I was looking over my lot today"
 Mrs. Smith took the bundle and fec bly, thanked him. When Algernon came home, she told him. He said there were more ways of killing a cat than of chok- ing her with butter, and after supper he took up the bundle and went out.
 He knew of a nice dark place down near church where he could slide in and drop that load of shoes without be- ing seen. He had taken the precaution to tear off the address and had changed the shape of the bundle As he deposit- ed 1t in the archway of this dark corner heavy hand was laid on his shoulder
 "No, you don't. No abandonment of the little innoeent'when you get tired of your own Aeshla9a blood. Pick up the poor thing now or Ill club ye."
 1tswas the new policeman on that beat, and he didn't know Mir. Smith. He listened to his explanation with a most aggressive and unbelieving air.
 'Lemnie sec theslsid, ' ne demanded, aud when tho "kidi proved to be kid shoes he grew still angrier.
 live mind to run ye in for disturb ing the peace and resisting an officer, hd said, but finally permitted Smith to take his bundle and go home.
 The next night a smudge came out of the Smiths chimney, and tho neighbore held their noses About midnight 6 loud rapping was heard at tho front door, and'a light in the basement was hastily extinguished. MT. Smith an. swered the summons, while Mrs. Smith hid in the coal cellar. A patrol wagon full of policemen was at the door. Ons of them Was on the steps. "Are you running q glue factory here without hcense?' he demanded oi Smith.
 "Then what is that internal odort Your neighbors have telephoned thai you were making yourself a nuisance and want you abated."
 Smith took the crowd in and told his story-how they had put those shoes il the garbage box and had them turned out again and how they had tried to sell them or give them away and finally te lose them. Then he showed the poliso te 7 the basement and opened the door of tho furnace, where the shoes were being cremated. Then he produced some bot , ties with long necks that were sent fol his birthday, and for half an hour Il. .. was busy pulling corks After som, time he released Mrs. Smith from tn. coal cellar.
 "Are they gone?" she gasped.
 "The polico?"
 "No, no; the shoes.
 "Every scrap reduced to ashes. y They embraced, and happiness reignet in the Smith household - Chicag, { Times Herald.
 She Misunderstood. s Many singers fail to realize the i'm ! portanee of distinct enunciation, an' 1, the charm of beautiful voice is oftei ] lost by the listener who is vainly strug gling to catch the meaning of the song 8 A young woman who considers her i. self an admirable ballad singer one da ( received Q severe shock from the crit g icism of an old lady who had forme h one of her audience. Among other bal { lads the singer had rendered "Ror 6 0'More" in her best style and had re Q oeiyed much applause.
 Tho old lady, who sat in the iron
 seat in the little hall where tho enter