The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-01-28
"Papa bling me thikl"

~, -, & III from the hall
ball.
heaven, and earthl He'll cut his
hand or. with that razor. Grab him."
nc Called. The baby had been howling-
s rescued from impending calamity.
Mr.. Williams then explained the nature
Of his purchases.
"This," he said "is mug. It cost
collar, but seven shaves will save it
back to me. This brush cost another
dollar-same reckoning. The strop
cost me $3.50 and the sponge rs cents,
The shaving soap"
'Oh, now, Harry!" Mrs. Williams In.
terrupted in triumph. "Now can tell
you where you wasted money for all
Your good intentions. bought whole
case of soap at the department store
the other day, and Ida says it's lust
magnificent. You can scour with it,
too"
Mr.. Williams tried to explain that
there was some difference between
soaps, but she declared that hers made
just as nice lather as one could wish,
and the only difference, she said, was
that he had paid about 80 times as
much, proportionate TO quantity, as
| she had.
Il had to get the best OF the per.
manent and Interchangeable things" Mr.
Williams said. evading the soap ques.
| tion, though he knew he was right
THE strop, sponge and mug, you see,
cannot suffer much change by time.
But saved considerably on the razor,
for reasoned that you can sharpen a
razor every time you shave, and SO 1t Is
useless to buy costly one. l paid 43
cents for this one, and am sure it will
answer every purpose. The bay rum
and other things"
"Oh, are there still more things to use2
I didn't know the process of shaving
was such complex one. thought all
that was needed was something sharp
enough to get the beard off,"
"Well," said Mr.. Williams, dubiously
Il will confess that thought SO, too,
but the fellow reminded me of all these
things, and, sure enough, remembered
that they were necessary. But just a
few weeks and they will all be paid for,
and then every time shave after that 1t
will be clear profit. Think of saving
that much money for the benefit of the
baby" and Mr.. Williams gathered his
offspring up and rapturously kissed
him.
The next morning Mr.. Williams start
ed in on the work of economy. He pro
cured handglass and hung it to tho
wall, only to find when he began opera
tions that the glass was invariably on
the wrong side of the light and his hand
always shaded his face. His lather
seemed to be reluctant and watery also,
but those were minor evils which could
be remedied il he only had time, which
he didn't, for his train was due to leave
in half an hour. He lathered on in a
liquid way for several minutes, and
then opened hostilities with his beard
There is no cause for description OF
the horrible half-hour which followed
. Men who have never learned to shave
and who try it know how the thing
works, and nobody else would credi,
. fraction Of the true story. MIR. vii
lams discovered new angles in hi.
countenance-angles never before re
vealed TO human eye. He found tha
his razor, although sharp enough te
perform almost any miracle in moving
, positively baked ut his two-days-ole
stubble, and when he did succeed il
chopping Off dozen spikes at saving
, sweep it was victory achieved through
( floods of blood. He pulled the razor
and pushed and worked it crosswis'
and gave it every motion to which tn
l arm is possible contributor, and ever,
moment new smarting sensation wa
] the register of new "pinking." Blu
] it was not until he had worked his wa,
t down from the cheek to the chin tha
the full measure of Lis contract oc
e Cured to him. There the blade, de
4 fled by the stuInpy beard, lunged ant
: plunged and the uprooting sensation
= was continuous and fearful.
: But he was game, and ten minute
Il after his train had left he rushed iron
the house, pretending to be in too bi
;. q hurry to catch the next train to sto
y to kiss his wife.
The next day Mr.. Williams tried
again.
? He made another effort the followin
L day.
e On the fourth day Mr.. William
y sneaked into his former shop in Chica
J. go, and, approaching his favorite bal
ber, said: Ed, have been Shawn
= here SO long thought I'd bring m
{ mug in. And while 1 was at it cor
e cluded to buy an entire outfit for yo
- to use on me. Here's the razor and tn
;. strop."
I He hoped that Ed would not kno'
the truth, but the barber, looking at hi
n narrowed face, understood. When NJ
e Williams had gone the other barber
1t gathered around in an awed fashion I
look at the razor.
Mrs. Williams is a wise woman.
a wise that she has never mentioned th
c. Little Victor Educational Fund sine
10 the day Of it's incipiency. - Chicag
Record.