The Topeka state journal., 1897-12-22
UNCLE BART'S JOKE.
IT E4AaGgN TURNED OUT AS HE HAB
EXPECTED

while Giving Old Man Crane a Lift He
Tried Co scare Kim and Succeeded Be-
yunsz Ezs Fondsss Ezpseta11uns-Ehs
Jaks and How II Peszrsd CUT
when we started for home, % says IN
Gle BarS Flanders CT Brighton, We over
took cid Crane. He had d double barraIed
shotgun ever his shoulder
q say, Eart, give me , Lift, says cid
Crane.
had old Bangs On the seat with me-
He had 4 pound OF cheess under his arm
and tan quart pail CT moiasses between
his knees I 5oId old Crane 70 get in be-
hind and Let his feet hang down and be dern
carsfuI Of the gun. He rasrad the cri11sr
on IT'S burn berween his legs, with tha muz-
ZIe sticking Up
% When we got pretty near E0 0IG Cranes
place, whispers &c cid Bangs and says.
Les play a joke On cid Crane. II hoIIer
- the coli and pun On the reins- That
aJIus seEs him Gr Jest though ne was
running away Wsiu carry cid Crane q
mile or svvo beyond his house. His wifsiI
STE Us gn by hollering, and shell think cid
Crane is too drunk co know whers as lives,
and she Il peel him when he gifts back
Wen make him walk back too.
says old Bangs. wlnk1ng to me- BY
zmu1sy. that the bes5 dern Joke On old
Crane 7 ever heard Of Wait TIL 7 git these
moIasses we'll settled tween my knees,
then Let her 20.
IT commenced to pull en- the raina and
the caIb gave jump and suartad-
q When whoa, whoa DUN yuul I yelled
and you q think I was pulling 40 pounds
the rsins bu5 the colt only went faster
and fastsE
8. W-w-Tvha6's the matter Bars?' hcI-
Tered cid Crane, who was setting back to
and couIdn g see what was going On and
d1C1 Z darsr to turn round.
e. Old BIIs runnin away, says T al
most busting Old Bangs was Iaughing as
Il he would die and hanging On to the
uoiasses.
s. Can't you STOP IA ny houses' ho1ered
cid Crane Mother Il be kinder worried 7
she sees NE &c sCurryiag past Like the mill
tail CT Tophe1.
80 I can c stop the blame cridtar Whoa
BLAST youF I hoIIered- Just then we struck
the icunGs II the GuIver1 front OF Zeke
WarGWeI :. and the springs wen5 down
ksrchuok- The next second old Bangs
shC6 ID N the air gun and al Old Bangs
landed en- his back n the dust. and the
gun came down butt flIs6 On Go the road
When she struck, bChh barreIs went of
right behind Us straight Up into the air
There warn Z no fool runaway abouB it
then A rein busted. and the colt run righ5
into cid Crane dcCryard- III never for
ger Eile expression on his vie face as she
Il
ing she'd told me several times that she
wished I'd bring cid Crane home when
saw him down CO the village, as his leg
bothered him q graa6 deal There warn
any doub1 we were bringing cid Crane
home that afternoon. We were ADVERTISING
tE. We we're firing saIuuss. Old Bangs was
doubled right for ard over his nolasses
pail and his hair was sUr1nging Ou5 he-
hind
Bart, he yelled. d you ; pose they's
any chancs OF saving these moIassss2'
'' 'Cuss your molasses, 7 holIered. and
Jest then we struck the corner of the bank
ing. Flip. Over she went 7 fell into the
IaEioek bush Old Bangs didn Z save his
uaoIasses. but his molasses saved him He
vent head drs5 into the pail He jumped
right up with the pail over his ears, and
the ncIassss r1n stopping down over his
shoulders.
e Blood and brains Blood and brainsr
he yelled from underneath the pRil. see
EN- run
80 Mis- Grams come rushing cut. screaming
as loud as he could hoIIer, and dew down
10 where cid Crane vas a-Picz1n hisseIf
up- He waEn hurt much and come limp
ing Up Jest as I was scrapiuy old Bangs OF
with a chIp. The wagon was mashed
The colt srGGd looking at me from over
the barnyard fence. with his head and tail
up and snortng as though he Thought there
m4{1G De 3nCEneE explosion nOSH any G11Ile
buG the celebration was al over
So Bart Flanders, says Mis- Crane If
you ever Garz5 &c take Mis- Crane IN again
behind tha5 pesky ragiug cri11er Of yourn.
IN pull sv'ry spear Of hair outer your
heud
e But il was kind Of Joke, marin, 7
started % say
"A joke she squeaIed a !okel
What kind Of a Joke, Tou fcoI2' -
And concluded Bart S. 7 svCvv, come
co think II over I GouIdu . see any point
to the joke myself ---Bangor Commercial