The record-union., 1897-03-27
KNOWS HOW IT Is HIMSELF !.
Supervisor Morrison Has Made a Dis
COY0ry.
He Buys a Wheel and Goes Pounding
Over Some of the Rocky
Streets.

Supervisor Morrison determined re-
Gently to be up-to- date, and to give his
body the advantage of the beSt-knoWn
form of outdoor athletics. He bought
bicycle and proceeded to ascertain the
nature of the machine, its whims,
moods and graces. For, like sewing ma
chimes and house furnaces, the bicycle
has its moods.
When the tall Supervisor had con-
Quered the steed that breathes, but eats
not, and ascertained all the dips, an
giles and spurs of the three and half
miles of bitumenized streets, ana
achieved the feat which only the few
do. of getting safely over the gullies,
gaps, bitches and moats which hedge in
the l. rails of the electric tramWay on
K street, and when he had showered the
orthodox amount and character OF eA-
pletives upon the Trustees who permit
such denominations to remain, he re-
solved to try other roads and streets
and ascertain just why wheelman can
roar longer, louder and deeper about
roads and things than any other human
being.
Accordingly he took to a public roaQ
and went sailing full of the exhilarating
upon the wheel and revel in the delights
of fleetnesss. 1t was not long before he
struck a streak of so-called macadam,
and Morrison thought that for the next
three minutes his backbone was being
telescoped with his brain. Presently he
came to some of the roughest of rock
construction of the board of which he
is a member, and promptly went to
hi oh. fny- n
pivot In his wrath he arose and began
to invoke blessings backwards upon the
head of his colleague, Supervisor Cur
it's the author and architect of that
particular bit of stony way.
Mr. Morrison tied up his damaged jaw
with an extra handkerchief and struck
out in search of a smooth roadway
somewhere in the suburbs, but found
none save those made of mother earth,
and they are good only by fits and
starts, as weather and sprinklers and
narrow tires permit Mr.. Morrison de-
clares that never before has he so
keenly appreciated the patient misery
of the horse. He understands now
what that noble animal has to do when
he drags vehicles over Sacramento
roadways So profound is his sympathy
HOW IOT UldU DtSI IIltDu liIell LC III
his hat and bows politely every time
he meets the noble animal.
Arriving finally at the outer eastern
walls of the city the Supervisor essayed
the portage of ] street from Thirty
first TO Sixteenth. 1t looked fair and
smooth, but it proved a snare and
delusion, and the ire he worked off be-
fore he reached the asphaltum will be
he puts it, he is opposed to hanging
Durrant-'sentenceh him to ride up and
down ] street; that's enough"
Just before he entered into the fair
promise of the bitumen street at the
grammar school the unhappy Supervisor
dashed in TO that marvelously con-
structed bit of roadway on the north
side of street, the terror of all wheel
men and avoided by them as is holy
water by the devil. When the official
was in the midst, and his wheel dane
ing like a cork on a mill stream, he
took a header and displaced more cob
bles in one second than the Trustees
can by utmost industry replace in
day Then he arose, bandaged his
wounds and piously recanted all he had
uttered against Curtis and deposited
IDe iOdu VI dIdllitiIldS upOll tit AAcdOo
of the City Trustees in general and
Street Superintendent Croly in partic-
ular
Mr. Morrison nurses a sore jaw and
several rasped ribs. But these are as
nothing to the good resolves he has
sworn to prove true by the bones of his
sires. He declares that no man in his
presence hereafter shall speak with dis
respect of a wheelman who complains
that Sacramento roads are disgraces.
In the meanwhile the wheelmen have
formed a large committee which pro-
poses to invite Mr.. Morrison to take a
trip under their escort over the smooth
Folsom wheelway where he can go"
without effort, ride on velvet and feel
that there is life, ambition, hope, pleas
ure and joy in wheeling.
Let him be warnedi He is liable to
be done for. There is a two-mile gap
in that wheelway which ingenuity has
failed to close; it extends from Brigh-
ton junction to Perkins. Along that
shamefully formed and repulsive road
way they propose to take Mr.. Morrison,
jolt the life nearly out of him, but land
him. if he is lucky, at Perkins with a