davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30
"JOner" Saved Bill.

= 1t was about two O'Clock in the af:
ternoon that the sheriff of Bucks
county rode up to Bill Hooper,
ca"ln at the foot Of the mountain to
arrest the man on a warrant charp-
ing him with stealing corn. Bill,s
wife sat in the open door with n pine
In her mouth, and as the officer
, came along she inquired:
sam Davis, you are just the man
] wanted to see. I've heard YOU
talk heap about tho Bible, and |
want to AK you if you rely believe
that story about joiner and the
whale? ~
"Of course | do" was the reply
-" OF course. Is Bill around home
to-day 2"
How big man was joiner p,
persisted the woman.
Bout as big as l am, reckon.
Did you say Bill was off huntin'?u
And did the whale swaller him
head-fust or feet-fust ?" continued
the woman, as she crowded some
fresh tobacco into her pipe.
Head-fust, | reckon, though |
amt dusputin' about it and raisin' a
row. Elder Dickman says it was
feet-fust, but he wasn't thar no
morn me. If Bill is around here
ia like to see him a minute"
But how did joiner live down
thar in that whale until he was cut
out ?"
" Dunno, but he went right on
hVln'. | can't see why the earth
goes round, but | know that she do.
Mebbe Bill is in bed and asleep, Mrs.
Hooper ?"
What gifts me-" continued the
woman, calmly ignoring all questions
about her husband, "is why that
whale didn't hang on to joiner when
he had him. What did he cast him
up fur 2"
Can't say" replied the sheriff,
"but reckon the Lord wanted things
the way they was and so they turned
out as they did. / was speakin' to
you about Bill-whar is he ?"
" Bill? Oh, Bill is home to-day"
" Kin | see him ?'
" For suah. When you rid up he
was cleanin' his gun out back o. the
house, but reckon he's ready fur
you by this time. Just step around
the co'ner."
The sheriff stepped, and ran
against the muzzle Of shotgun held
in the hands of Bill. AS he recoiled
a step or two Bill asked:
" Was you lookin' fur me, Sam ?"
:" was" replied the officer
" Yes, jest stopped mint to say
howdy, and to remark that your ole
woman amt no fool, and havin'
said ii l'll be goin' back to town.
Nice day, Bill-good evenin' to you,
Mrs. Hooper"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30
A HOmesick HippOpOtamus.

During Bayard Taylor's visits to
the geological gardens in London he
noticed a hippopotamus which lay
in its tank apparently oblivious to
its surroundings. Entering into
conversation with the keeper one
morning he was told that the
creature refused to eat and was
gradually starving itself to death.
" | fancy it's homesick," added the
keeper. Hes fine specimen, and
it seems a pity we should lose him,
but he's moped ever since the keeper
who had charge of him on board the
steamer left. He pays no attention
to anything say"
Learning that the creature came
from part of Africa he had once
visited, Mr.. Taylor, on an impulse,
leaned forward Bnd addressed it in a
dialect used by the hunters and keep
ers Of that region. The animal
lifted its head and the small eyes
opened. Mr.. Taylor repeated his
remark, when what does Mr.. Hippo
do but paddle slowly over to where
he stood. Crossing to the other side
of the tank, the experiment was re-
peated with the same result, the
poor thing showing unmistakable
signs of joy, even consenting to re-
ceive food from the hand Of his new
friend.
Mr.. Taylor paid several visits to
the gardens, being always noticed by
his African friend finally, before
leaving the city, he taught the
keeper the few sentences he had
been in the habit of addressing to
the hippopotamus, and went his
way.
Two years later he was In London,
and, curious to know the result,
again paid his respects to his am
phibious friend. To his Surprise the
creature recognized his voice at
once, and expressed his joy by pad
ding from side to side of his tank
after his visitor.
Mr.. Taylor says it convinced him
that even a hipp0pOtamus may have
affections, and tenacious ones at that,
as we'll as good memory.
ETHEL-Papa, does God tell you
what to write in your sermons?
Papa-Yes, my dear.
Ethel-Then why do you scratch
out so much?
Papa (after pause)- please
your mother.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

THERE are a great many people in
this world, both children and grown
up, who sigh and even grumble be-
cause they do not have some accom-
plishment they want; it may be
music or painting or languages, but
it never seems to occur to them the
lack is in their own want of perse-
verance. We can he almost any
thing we choose to be if we try hard
enough. We can get almost any
thing we want if we work for it pa
tiently and perseveringly.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

ACCORDING to current newspa-
per story, an italian who applied for
naturalization papers and was asked
where he was born, responded, :" Nc
Kinley." How long have you
lived in this country?" McKin-
ley." "How old are you? ?" enc
L. MI
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

IT is recorded that, after an eXcit-
ing election i'm a Western State to
fill the office of constable, the sue
cesSful candidate returned to his
home, of course in great glee, and
was detailing to his wife all the in
cidents of the day, when the chill
dren crowded around, and, sharing
in the general rejoicing, insisted on
knowing whether they. too, had not
been elected constables. The mother
replied, No; nobody was elected
except your daddy and me -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

"JoHN, you ought to buy whole
barrel of flour. Its getting higher
every day"
81 know 1t is, Maria, and / have
been surprised that it don't have a
more buoyant effect on your bis
cuits,D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

81 NEVER thought to find you
coming out of pawnbroker's shop,
Charles Henry" Well, uncle, nei-
ther did |; but pawnbroker is bet
ter than my other relatives about
some things. He doesn't care if /
Fever pay him back"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

WOMEN charm, as general thing,
In proportion as they are good. A
plain face with heart behind it is
worth world of heartless beauty.
Gentlemen who have tried both uni
formly agree on this.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

THE model husband lives I'm Phila-
delphia. He never allows his wife
to do more than half the work. She
puts up all the canned fruit in the
summer and he puts it down in the
winter.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

ONE of Josh Billings's maxims:
Rise early, work hard and late;
live on what you can't sell give
nothing away; and if you don't die
rich, and go to the devil, you may
sue me for damages
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

CHIPPER-Judkins and his wife
were out on their wheels yesterday
and she completely ran away from
him.
Lipper-So 1 heard; and that was
not the worst of it, either; she came
back again.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

No." remarked the man with
hashy clothes ; "there's no money in
sellin' gold bricks any more. i've
got better lay dan dat.n
What is it?"
Pm goin' up to Alaska wild a va
lise full Of wooden sandwiches.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

GEORGIE AND THE WAsPS.-Dear
Uncle Fred We're still campin.
l cant rite much this time BecOse
can see only with one eye, and that
amt much good. Day Before yis-
tady me and little Albert was out in
the woods playin we was scouts, so
purity soon seen sumthing hanging
frum Tree what looked like graft
big Top made out of paper.
Then / got stick and Begin to
poke the thing Down. The first
thing / knowed little Albert give a
yell and Then they was a Buzzin i'm
my ears like about forty sawmills.
When they got little Albert he was
nearly ded and his he'd is so big he
has to put his shirt on by stickin
his feet through first.
Pa says they was wassups. Idont
no what a wassup looks like Bec0se
l didn't have time to see none of
Them. But they are hot stuff all
rite, / no that wei enuf. / thot
sumbody was stickin lighted match
into me when 1 got the first poke.
After that l was so Bizzy I didn't
seem to no jist what was goin on.
The folks say I'll be able to see
out from Behind my nose all rite in
about week, but little Alberts face
looks like a punkin. That's all.
GEORGE.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

"Do you think, Harry, you could
induce one or two boys to come to
?n
81 could bring one," he replied.
" De udder fellers In our alley kin
lick me.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30
IR-Why don't youp

SIsTER-Why don't yous marry
her?
Brother-I'd like to, but unfortu-
nately, she has on impediment in
her speech.
Sister-What is it?
Brother-She can't say sYes.'
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

IF you would enjoy your meals, sit
down to the table good-natured. An
angry, fussy man or woman cannot
tell whether they are eating boiled
cabbage or stewed umbrellas.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30
Queer Fighting i'm the Air.

Persons in the vicinity Of Kirk
wood Park quite recently witnessed
battle in midair between n fish
hawk and large carp which the
bird had taken from the water
For week or more regular visitors
to the park have noticed the bird
come up the Brandywine every af:
ternoon on fishing expedition. He
was always successful, but usually
caught small fish, which soon per
ished in his talons.
On this occasion tho hawk caught
larger game than he expected, and
there was terrible battle, which
lasted fully twenty minutes and was
witnessed by large crowd. The
bird was first seen flying gracefully
through the air. Suddenly it dived
toward the water. 1t came up with
large carp in in its claws, and the
fish was fully as long as the bird,
and appeared to weigh about six
pounds. The bird, with its prev,
started up in the air, but the fish OBJ
Jected, and then began the battle.
First the bird had the advantage,
anu theh tne nsn would appear to be
on top. The bird repeatedly sank
its hooked beak into the carp, but
the fish was full of fight. 1t twisted
and squirmed, and all the hawk
could do was to pose in the air and
peck at the fish. Finally, with one
mighty effort, the fish gave a big
twist and escaped from the birds
talons. 1t fell toward the water and
the hawk dived after it. When the
fish struck the water it was 80 badly
injured that it could not get away
before the bird was upon it. This
time the hawk got a better hold
upon its prey, and after sinking it's
taions deep in its body, picked it
with its hooked beak until the fish
was apparently dead. The bird
then flew down the stream and dis
appeared in the direction of the
Delaware river.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

TWAS CINCH BET.-They
laughed right merrily at him.
And so," they said, she promised
to be your wife if Bryan was
elected ?"
The news of the bet had just come
to them.
"It is true" he replied.
"Poor fool!" they continued.
"She was just having fun with
you"
Perhaps" he answered; "but
you haven't noticed me weeping any
very bitter tears, have you? Pm
satisfied"
" You didn't want her, then 2"
Well, Pm satisfied that she
should win the bet"
:" What'does she VIM" they in
quired.
Me-" he answered, with consid-
erable satisfaction. "I was to be
her husband If Mckinley won, and
she was to be my wife if Bryan
proved victorious. Perhaps some
Of you gentlemen can give me les.
sons in the art Of betting, but |
don't believe it,"
And there was a general disposi-
ton to agree with him.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30
MISCELLANEOUS.
A GLORIOUS COUNTRY

WHERE ONE Is CHEATED INTO THE
ILLUSION OF A NEW ITALY OR A
NEW GREECE - LEwISBURG AND
VIClNITY-FEMALE INSTITUTE
LEE MILITARY ACADEMY.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

1T is with narrow-souled people as
with narrow-necked bottles-the less
they have in them the more noise
they make in pouring it out.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

There are many things that are
thorns to our hopes until we have at
tained them, and envenomed arrows
to our hearts when we have.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

TIPPELL-I tell you what it IS,
old man; that fall I had just now
completely took my breath away.
Whipped Very likely, but it
didn't take it far enough away.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

From the arkansas Democrat of
August 10th, we copy the following
interesting letter written from the
Hot Springs by Miss L. II. Messen-
ger, distinguished correspondent
and Southern author, who spent tho
summer here with her friend, Mrs.
H. II. Bell.-EDIToR.l
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

THE reason why there is no trou-
BILE In heaven between the women
angels is because they all belong to
the choir.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

AS soon az man is pretty sure
there won't be any more snow to
shovel, he has to begin to cut grass.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

WOMEN seem to think that hus-
bands never have any need to reform
their wives.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

AN evangelist who lives in the
mission is so devout that he never
permits himself to think secular
thought or his tongue cannot frame
worldly word. The salvation of
souls in peril is his single thought, his
sole occupation. The evangelist has
very bright little daughter, five
years of age. The other day she an
swered the door-bell and found the
coal man there with a bill. Papa
is not home," she Informed him
" but if you will come in, you poor,
perishing soul, mamma will pray for
you.u
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

No man likes babies naturally
You have to learn to, like you eat
olives.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

" WE'LL" remarked the gentle
man to whom Tired Teddy had APP
piled for enough coin to secure a
drink, "you are the most perfect
specimen of the genus hobo l have
ever seen."
Yes; dat's right" returned
Teddy, "an' it's fur dis reason I'm
tryin' to preserve meself in alcohol.
Can't you help me out ?"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

If women looked like fashion
plates the men would all commit
suicide.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

= RETIRED fireman calls himself
an ex.spurt.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30
NUMBER 10.

"A STINGING REToRT.-A purse
proud man, just getting into his car
riage with his wife and daughrer
haunting in velvet and furs, said IN
a poor laborer who was shovelinp
coal into his vault. Joe, if YOU had
not drunk gin you now might have
been riding in carriage, for moth
ing else could have prevented man
OF your talents and education from
making money" "True enough. ~
was the reply of tho poor man.
and If you had not sold gin and
induced me and others to become
drunkards you might now have been
my driver, for gin spinning was the
only way by which you ever made a
shilling in your life"
THE total length of the worlds
telegraph system has now reached
l,9OS,92l miles, exclusive of $50, no
miles Of submarine cables. OF this,
Europe has 1,76i,7OO miles, Asia
3lO,6S5 miles, Africa 99,l19 miles,
Australia 217, 40 miles, and America
Z.5l6,5lS miles. United States Con-
sui German, who sends these figures
to the State Department from Iu-
rich, says they show that notwith-
standing the steady increase i'm the
building of telegraph lines all over
Europe, America leads the world
and has almost double the Euro
pean mileage.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-09-30

lie goes so Tar to greet"
None not acquainted with the insti.
tuition named here would ever sus-
pect Lewisburg or Greenbrier county
OF having such treasure in its bor-
ders. Moreover, If one desires their
advantages, the Hot Springs, and
ike famous resorts, are so closely in
reach, are 80 enticing, that the bene.
factions cited become four-fold. In
short, this is truly wonderful coun-
try of ours. There is room enough
for all the good people of the Old
World to spread their tents who as
pire to fortune and long life.
From all points in the United
States, the year round, visitors are
seeking the beautiful Hot Springs,
where the waters, baths, cold nights,
fine drives, the good company, good
table leave nothing more to be de.
sired.
Europeans often laugh at Ameri.
cans for passing by or rejecting the
beauties and advantages of their
own matchless country to run to all
foreign places. A little while and
common-sense and culture will cast
out this tape Of foreign
travel-while love of home, dovo.
ton to the true and beautiful, will
'transport us like some blessed wave
and cast US upon our Promised Land
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-05-14

Seemingly sane women are every day
dragged down into an engul6ng ocean of
despair, because they try to fight disease
without help. They wear their whole
bodies out battling with some facilitating
disease of the organs distinctly feminine.
They become weak and pale and thin and
worn, enduring a martyrdom of pain.
Help is at hand for those who choose to
take it. DR.. Pierce's Favorite Prescrip-
ton will infallibly cure womauly ills.
1t is designed for that purpose alone. It
acts directly and quickly on the organs
involved and restores them 10 health and
vigor. This is proven by the triumphant
record of tens of thousands of cures. It
is successful when all else has failed. AT
ter the abhorrent local treatments of the
doctors have proven useless, the Favor
tie Prescription does its marvellous
work, bringing comfort and happiness.
1t is the one thing that can always be
depended upon.
Avenue, Houston, Texas, writes: with a most
thankful heart l will tell you about the wonderful
cure effected in the case of my mother. She has
been a perfect wreck for seven long years. No
words can describe what she has suffered. Could
not sleep on account of severe pains. To tell the
truth. she has lived with one foot in her grave.
She tried every doctor around here and spent
hundreds of dollars without benefit. After hear
ing of your wonderful remedies I wrote to you
My mother has taken six bottles of the 'Favorite
Prescription and six of the Golden Medical
Discovery. and Is now nerfectly cured"
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-05-14
THE BOYS RIGAD
1t May Become a Sort of Safe Militi
Reserve.

1t May Become a s"rt OF Safe Militia
Reserve.
ST. PAUL, May 1.-THE attorney
general, in an opinion given to the gov
ernor, states that he thinks the church
organization known as the Minnesota
Boys Brigade may be organized as a
reserve of the state militia. This deci-
sion will undoubtedly be very accept.
able to those who have organized the
Boys Brigade, but is likely to raise a
storm in another quarter. The labor
organizations have for some years been
watching with suspicion the growth of
his brigade, and have predicted that
it would eventually be made a part of
the state militia. Their claim is that
the militia seldom has any duty except
to- quell a strike or similar disturb
ance, and they DO not view with any
degree of friendliness any action which
tends to increase the working force of
the state militia.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-05-14
r. GRASS TWINE.
Ten chi Will He Experimental
with at the Minnesota Prison.

Aen via Ao
with at the Minnesota Prison.
SALTWATER, Mimi, May IA new
enterprise is to be inangurated at the
prison, namely, the manufacture of
binder twitps from common slough or
wire grass, Astounding in sloughs and
marshes throughout the state. At the
meeting of the board of prison man
ayers Messrs. T. w. Pratt and NJ. J.
O'Shaughnessy, who are extensively
interested i'll the enterprise, appeared
before the board and submitted a prop
osition for floor space and cSnvict labor
with which to manufacture their prod.
uct. They guarantee to furnish the
farmers Of this state with a good grade
of Irvine for 30 per cent less than
the price of standard sisal, and TO
furnish overseers and forcmen to
handle the work. Their request
called for 1oor space for a period of 10
years, which the board did not deem
advisable, but the board gave them per
mission to bring i'll their machines and
to manufacture the Irvine as an expert
ment with the understanding that the
state shall i'll no be bound to
continue the contract if the board sees
fit to %abrogate it. The board decision
in the matter wa acceptable to the
promoters of the enterprise and they
will set up 10 machines in the old
foundry building. Mr.: Pratt, being
asked when they would be-
gin manufacturing Irvine, said they
hoped to have their factory in opera
ton SO that some of the product could
be placed on the market this season.
The grass is fed into machines sim.
liar to the machines now in use in the
binder Irvine business and after pass.
ing through the process of spinning the
strands are wound with a thin cord Of
cotton, which prevents the grass from
separating. Several samples of Irvine
were presented, also samples of
rope and mating made from the same
material. The Irvine is thicker
than Irvine made from sisal and
manila, but Mr.. Pratt insured the
board that it could be used on any
binder provided slight changes were
made i'll the knotter. 1t seems to have
all needed strength and is not easily
rotted. 1t is estimated that there are
at least 20. 900 acres of grass within a
short distance of Saltwater, so that
plenty of raw material can be secured
without much trouble. A large slough
grass Irvine factory is in process of con
structlon at Oshkosh, Wis, and it will
soon be ready for business.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-05-14
NORTHWESTERN NEWS NOTES.

The Minnesota Grand Chapter of the
Eastern Star held its annual meeting
at Litchfield.
Brainerd Grand Army men have be.
gun preparations for the Minnesota
encampm ent to be held there June %
to "a.
Commencement exercises of the
University of North Dakota will be
held at Grand Forks June II. There
are nine graduates.
Binder twine prices for the season
AVE been fixed as follows by the MIN
nesota board of prison managers: Ma
nllla, 61a cents per pound mixed, GA
standard, 434 ; sisal, 434. The price for
manila was reduced half a cent and
each of the others a quarter of a cent
from the price of a year ago..
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-05-14
BANK ROBBERY CLEARED u
Theft of Sc. eco at Eldon, Ia, Instigate
by the City Marshal.

Theft of SO, eco at Eldon, Ia, Instigated
by the City Marshal.
OTTUMwA, la, May 1.-THE mys-
terry of the Eldon bank robbery on the
morning of Feb. /, at which time
S., 200 in ash was taken, has at last
been unraveled by detectives. Ex-City
Marshal Charles Stevens of Eldon, a
highly respected citizen, has confessed
TO being the instigatOr of the crime,
and duplicates Dick Dodd of Ottumwa
and three Chicago cracksmen. The
Stevens, who was night Waterman at
the time, watched outside. Requisi-
ton papers have been issued for the
Chicago men. Much excitement pre-
walls at EldOn.
The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-05-14

put last week was 264, 465 barrels,
against 243, 500 the previous week and
1888, 1856 barrels in 1896. At Superior
and Duluth the output last week was
80, 400 barrels, against 20, 800 the week
before, and 40, go barrels in 1896. There
was some domestic buying, but export
trade continued light.