davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
HUMOROUS.

vSYtp-vW hear old Snagsby left
cool million bchinj" Nip-"llow else
could he keep II cooL."-Truth.
Mrs. Easton-"l understand that
your husband CANT neeS his cye,iiiors,n
Mrs. Weston--rI don't believe be wanta
to, especially .&Tit-nits,
--"Hnvo you nny trouble in meeting
yonr creditors, old chnpY Artist.
sNo difficulty whatev.E Meet 'cm
everywhere, old boy. ."-Larls.
--Arthnr-nl would marry that girl
hut for one ching" chesterr-aA(ruld
TO pop the aucstion,n Arihur--rNn.
Afraid to question the pop.-prooklyn
I.ife.
-"Boggs Is quito versatile, lsp't heM
vi should sny he wns.. Why, when that
Wan came to mark his election bnllot l,e
made different kind OF gross ~ thu
hend of each party ticket"-,cIcvelnnd
Plain Dealer,
--She--"Chnrlic, the engagement ring
you gnve mo has ~. f.'cngrnved on Il,
I hope you were never engaged bcforc!"
lIc--"Never, darling. W. g., siaptls for
pm-er-wcll. that mcnns--is curat."
Tit Bits.
~ nm really delighted Mt the IN.
icrcst my hoy Tommy is taking in his
writing" srid Mrs. lIickleby. "l,r
'tpcnds two hours II day u, It," "Rcnl-
ly? How did YOU get him to do II 2"
r0h, told him to write me out n list
of everything he wanted Tor Christmas
nnd hc's st'll at it."-lInrper's linznr.
-"Iour majesty" said the chef OF
the king of the Cnnnibnl islands. tive
have In the lnrder to-day n couple of
fine fut cnptivcs who say they are twins.
"Whnt Is your royal plcQsW,a ~
"rwns: replied the potcntntc. vrhnt
Is fine. hnve nm dcn. Serve them
both ut dinner, and the queen md my
ielf win cat II phIlopcna.l -nttsburgh
Chronicle.Tclcgrnph.
. Interviewer (milll") - pardon
mo, colonel. but should like very muc,,
TO know what you consider the mort
remarkable circumstance in your l'fr."
Thc Colonel ilaugnldly feeling round
for his hip rorkrO well. don't
know, but about six months ago shot
n man-dcnd.n "Killcd him. colonel
What WAS that for?" "Oh. iunt for ask.
ing Stions."-IIouschold Words.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
WHOLE no, g.7QQ
HOODS PILLS euro Liver flis,
Biiiousness, Indigestiop, Headache,
A pleasant laxative. All DrusSists,
The OLDEST sPoRr.
Hunting and Fishirg Mere Means Of Iivs-
thoeu Ia, Primitive Man.


Hunting and fIshing Were Means Of live,
uhoed to Primitive Man.
Somebody has asked which IL the
oldest sport and started diseussipa
'hut has already put The antiquity 30
games beyond the mddle ages, Hunt.
ing aud lighting were primitive mans
chief occupations, saxs the New York
journal.
These, as civilization Developed, wrra
gradunlly converted from being mcans
nf livelihood into pastimes. Rut Il ia
impossible TO tel exactly when the
change took placr. for il is no, even yet
complete, apd what Is sport to ths
"puire and amateur is pecessary work
10 the galnekeeper and professional
roldier.
Nimrod. Nonh's great grandson. was
mighty hunter before the Lord" and
ns he WAS u n,nighty ono In the cnrths
he probably hupict, for pleasure. Thjs
is the oldest REGARD Of II spNyt,
'Fhc stag mud lis kind, which make
The greatest dcmnnd on the skill ard
rndurnpUn of the hunter. would prob
Ghly he the llrst animal pursued fou
p'cnsurc. To hunt the lion wns kingIw
sport from the earliest times.
The Egyptian monuments show that
all kmds Of hunting. as well as fawilng,
we're followed for pleasure. The 0lym.
pic games were probably the oldest
athletic sports aud their origin is loat
IN antiquity. Thcy are said 10 celebrate
ldNn'lrp'V heteht OF the TitgVs.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
plsgrucra nurrlan nn.cnr.,

Elctcp oilipcis of The nrlpgroa
hrageonelny bpnp redWeei "a crnnks,
'nd one lieutenant lisInissc,l fron,
the army for their SHARE W n t!sgrucr4
,u' RIOT ~ Mcl,orl'N, IN lpisliR, Lieut.,
bal ahopn'nc. Whit llrWpl, grossly !n1
suited md struek somc Jewish civiiians
who "crp SiiiWa quietly ina wine shop,
Nitrr rrnlcsi'rg fur pwhlc they gave
him u spurA lhrpshinE. whcrruron he
Nepi w the barracks, got together soma
p'h"r officers and i5o drngoons, aud sci
pul IS nvcngr the horor OF the rnS,,
Ecrt. The wine shop aud the ndjaceut
ionscs wcrr sac.,cA and get on fire. q
'nmber 81 Jewish houses pnd shops
wrr" p'llngrd, and tivy Jews killed aud
Thirty yrr.o,rly injured As the colonel
" the regiment did not think the inci1
'eni worth rOpQrting the ear has orr
irrrd him To hf played on the rpiireJ
list.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
Animal KlNpERoARrENs.
How beavers Edac,,r TIER K!ttlns
Young Ottcrs Ynd Eirds

How beavers Edac,,r Tier K!ttlus
Young ottcrs 4nd nlrds,
IL will be NOTICED that MI rycntuTrs
,wh'ch hnvc large families, whcth,.r
beasts or birds, have icss trouble In
rcarlng them than those which huv
only one or two young, Little pigs nrr
weeks ahead of calves IN Intelligence
md the young partridge, with It's dozen
brothers and sisters. IL fur more teach
able than the young eagle, Their sccns
no doubt that the latter TX taught to Il,
by its parents, a correspondent In.
forms the writer that lc has watclc
the old birds so engaged and the Young
eagles reluctantly following them to u
height.
Specialized education in ANIMALS hc-
rips late. The beaver ltit,rn's training
lora not begin until ihr autumn of the
year in which H. was born. The old
bcavcra, which have moved III tribu-
iarf streams Into the woods or ronmcd
10 the larger lakes during summer
then return tq inspect their dnm nnt'
repair II for the winter. They then cu
down few trees, nnd. dividing them
into logs, roll them or tow them to the
dam, Tho kittens meantime nre put
on TO what IN n workshop would he
rnllcd "soft job" They cut all the
small branches ond twigs inao lengths
and do their share of light transport
service. In the mud-patting and re.
pairing of the dam the beaver kittens
take their share. hut there In little
doubt TINT they do so because thci
elders nre 20 engaged. 1t Is o kinder
gnrten of tie best kind, because mud
putting and stick-cntting are grcnt
Joy nnd sOlnea 10 old beavers MS yell "a
young ones, npd so instruction. plcas.
ure and business nrc all combined.
Young otters. and probably niso youpg
wnter-rats. liaye to he taught TO go into
tho water, According to the obserra-
ions of Mr.. Hart, the late hend-keepcr
mt the 700. the young offers born there
did not enter the water for wrclss. and
even then their mother Ind Ia mind"
them apd fetch them ont whrn she
thought they had had enaugh Of IT,.
They swim naturally phcn once In the
water. and this seems true OF niI unl-
nnls. though IN the early autumn Of
This year yonng retriever. bred on u
dry and wnieriess district In the Downs.
svaa found to be unable TO swim. A
stiok WAS thrown into the Thames for
!: to fetch. II plunged In. bpt soon
rank. and, though wFcued, was almost
nfeHsible.-Tondop SDcctntor
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
VOL. LII. NO. 4
TAzEWELl DIRECTORY.

= CITY oFFIoERs.,
Mayor-J. A. GreeYer.
Sergeant-G. Il. McCliptock.
Assessor-J. II. Lewis.
CoUNCILMEN.
]. w. Chapman, James O'Keeffs, j. A..
Greeycr, b. w. stras, G. R. Surface.
PoSToFpICE.
Open during week from T;ao a. IN. to 700
p. m. daily, except Sunday.
Money Order window open from a. IN. to
4p. M. daily except sunday.
West bound mail closes 400 U, m.
East bound mail closes $3.50 p, M.
CHURCH SERVICES.
PaEssYTERI4s.-Rev. w. w. Ruff, Pastor
Preaching every Sabbath morning and
evening, except the first, when the pas
tor holds services in Burkes Garden.
Sunday School 9:30 o. IN. Prayer meet
ing every Thursday evening.
AErHopIsr.-i, P. Martin, Pastor. Preach
ing ON first and third Sunday in each
mouth ut IL o. M; second and fourth
Sunday at 1880 p. m. Sunday School Mt
p:30 a m. Prayer meeting every We'd
nesday evening.
PAPrisT,-Rev. d. A. Glenn, Pastor,
Preaching the LIST and Sd Sunday in the
morning and I'd and 4th Sunday in the
evening. Sunda, School $3.50 a, m.
Prayer meeting every Friday evening.
CHRIsTIAN.--Rev. j N. Hartman, Pastor
Preaching every Sabbath morning Sun
day School 939 m. Prayer meeting
every Saturday evening,
COUNTY OFFICERS.
Judge Circuit Court-Hon. s. w. Will
liaps, Wytherille Va.
Circuit Court Sessions I'D Monday in
April; 4th Monday i'll August, Sd Mon
day in December.
Judge County Court.-Hon. j. II. Stuart,
Tszewell, va
County Court.--Tuesday after the Third
Monday.
Clerk Circuit Court.-H. Bane Harwan
Tazewell, Va.
Clerk County Court.--T. z. George, Taze-
well, Va.
Commnnwealth's Attorney-Jno. L, Barns,
Tazewell, Va.
Sheriff John w. Crockett, Tazewell, Va.
Treasurer.--R. X Gillespie, Pounding
Mill, Va.
: Commissioner Rcvenuc--Clear Fork Dis
: llrict5-G. Sink, Bluestone, Va.
Commissioner Revenue Jeifersonville Dist
j. N. Johnson, Sayersville, Va.
Commissioner Revenue Maiden Spring
Districts. H. Laird, Cedar Bluff. Va
supervisor, Clenr Fork District: H.
tIreever, Burkes Garden, va.
Supervisor, Jeffersonville District: J. Ell.
Peery, Tazewell, Va.
Supervisor. Msiden Spring District: w.
l.. q. Burk, Big Greek, Va.
County Supt. of Schools: z. II. Williams,
Snapp, Va.
County Surveyor: Robkrt S. Williams,
Pounding Mill, Va.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
iio Meant wciI.
'J:orcsun, aneans.welI, but he's rather

'J;nrcsun hneans.wcll. but he's rather
Hueer. isn't hc2n
"How so1"
u mean ms to his notion of ,hnt con-
ttitutes 2 good time. RI, in, ted sew
iral of us fellows up TO his bonse to
f:nncr yesterday and what 90 you sup
lose nc did to cntcrtaiu us?.
Give II up!r
"tnfoldcd tbs views on the monetary
question for ihree-quorters OF an hour
ttr9igbt,'. Rpt'nio Courier. y
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
What woreiea nm.

Iioax--Whars woi ryirg yon new
,Ioax-- My old r,i .I..'s II death = door
'W'-at COOS the fvctor say?r
That's whHfs worrr.rR me mcsi
lie sad l;e woilli! rull LIN s.,rong!i
end forgot 20 ask hin, ,shIeh way.
Philaarirh'n ilcfora.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22

JNANTED- SEVERAL FAITHFUL
w men or women to travel for respon-
sible established house in Virginia. Sal
AIRY $3.50, payable $t5 weekly and ex-
penses. Position permanent. Refer
ence. Enclose sels-addressed STAN ped
envelope, The Nationul, Star Building,
Chicago.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22

Ripans Tabules cure dizziness.
Ripans Tabules cure liver troubles.
Ripans Tah"'"e: nleasant laxative.
Ripans Tabules.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22

WTANTED-sEvERAL FAITHFUL
w men or women to travel for respon-
sibje established house in Virginia. Sal
ary $3.50, payable S15 weekly and expen-
ses. Position permanent. Referance.
Enclose self-addressed stamped envel-
ops. The National, Star Building, Chi
cago.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
This Sale

Is not intended supposed by many merely wloop
saiea IN THIS the dull month of the year, but at
tins time every year to clean old stock owing very
mud winte we have heavy goods dispose Of thereby
giving our better values better selections than
have heretofore.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-01-22
january ~
Closing Out Sale,

vi Winter Goods, beginning Monday the l1th 1897,
Consisting of every piece Heavy in our stoc
remnants OF serges oashmeres Mohais Oaco Gipghams lin
ings, etc.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
WEST VIRGINIA.
Will Attempted 10 Control the soft
Coal Markets East and West.

"A special to the Washington
Post from Charleston. w. Va.
says; The vanderbuilt interests
have 9 scheme on foot aiming at
the control. through the Ohesa-
peake & Ohio railroad, of the
soft coal markets OF both the east
and west. Every part OF the en-
terprise, from the ownership OF
the coal lands to the final deliv-
cry Of the product will be man
aged by one head. representing
one interest.
About two months ago the an
nouncement was made by John
II. McCraw, of Grafton, w. Va,
that be had sold to a syndicate,
including in its membership Cor
nelius Vanderbilt, H. Nick
Tgombley and Fl. Seward Webb,
a track OF coal and timber lands
in the northeastern part of West
Virginia. The same people
bought other small tracks, max.
ing their holdings nearly half a
million acres.
Railroads now controlled by
the syndicate will be completed
to these coal lands, connecting
them with the @ Chesapeake g. Ohio
and through it.with the east and
west.
tits also stated that the Van.
derbilt interests have secured
control of the Hooking Valley
road, and it will be extended to
Huntington, w. Va
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03

A Tennessee lady. Mrs. ]. w.
rowle, of Philadelphia. Tenn,
has been using Chamberlain's
Cough Remedy for her baby.
who IS subject to Group, and says
of it 81 find it just as good as
you claim it to be. Since I've
had your Cough Remedy, baby
has been threatened with Group
ever so many times. but l would
give him dose of the Remedy
and prevented his having it every
time" Hundreds of mothers say
the same. Sold by
Cunningham Bros. & Co Clarks-
burg. 1-lm.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
IA Real Blood Remedy.

M. ID. Post, formerly of Lar
rison county has another book
ready for publication. He won
a wide reputation by his first
book, Strange Schemes of Ran
dolph Mason His book is re-
markable for the resemblance OF
its incidents to the Luetgert muir
der, and hada big salem Chicago
during that famous trial. The
scenes depicted in the book writ
ten long before tho big sausage
maker was accused of killing his
wife, we're so much like the EVIL.
dence in the case, Chicago news
papers published paralleled re
ports of the trial and extracts
from the book every day and this
of course created an enormous
demand for the book.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
NOTICE.

| will offer for sale or rent my
farm of Sc acres. Good dwelling
house and out buildings and a
good orchard of choice fruit
thereon. and within two hundred
yards of a No. 1 oil we'll on
Shaw's Fork of Tenmile, Harri.
son county, W. Va. For further
particulars call on or address me
at Jarvisville, W. Va.
40 st LAURA A. MYERS.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03

CURE, GROUP CURE, CHOLERA MoRBUs CURE,
CONSTIPATION CURE, WORN CURE, FACE AND
SKIN OINTMENT, MUNYON'S BALM AND MUM
velopment of any disease, but begin treatment
in accordance with directions on the appear
unce of the first symptoms.
Mrs. Thomas Sangine, 1901 Fourteenth ave-
nue., Detroit Mich, says: please accept my
most grateful thanks for the miraculous re-
covcry of our eight months-old baby girl. She
was taken with Cholera Infantum early in the
summer. and although we had the best medi-
cal attention. we fully expected to lose her
possible to get any kind of infant food that
would be retained by the stomach. and nothing
seemed to check the diarrhoea. After the dec.
tor gave MP the case as hopeless we tried Nun.
yon's Remedies. and to orr delight found that
The first bottle was sufficient &c. check tho
diarrhCea and enable the stomach to retain
food. A second bottle brought our little one
back to perfect health. My husband has also
taken MunyorNs Dyspepsia Cure with wonder
fully curative effects"
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03

A Weston dispatch says Chas.
a Bee. formerly Of Petersburg.
was throwp from the top of a
box car. Just south of Weston,
Friday night. He was brought
to the Camden Hotel here, where
he died at 6 o'clock Saturday
morning. lie leaves wife and
one chlld. Ills leg was broken
and his body horrible crushed.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03

Mrs. Stark, Pleasant Ridge, Ohio,
saws, After two doctors gave up my
boy to die, saved him from Group by
using One Minute Cough Cure. - 1t Is
the quickestnnd most certain remedy
for coughs. colds and ali throat and
lung troubles. II. j. Criss. 4.
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
Chronic Diseases Of
Men and Women.
Main Office: lo7 W. IS Street,
New York. y. Y

psychology and logic, and through intuition
guided by an almost unlimited experience
in diagnosis. pr. Clark examines inNHlids
without questioning them or permitting
chem to make any statement rs to thrircon-
dltion.
Patients desiring Dr. ClarlS' examination
can ascertain his ability IN diagnosis and
without cpst learn the nature OF thvir AIS
eases in detail, by calling upon him AZ any
OF his Professional Appointments noted be-
low.
DR.. Clark viii make regular visits 10 llar.
risen county, and for the convenience of
order TO become more quickly acquainted
and give all an opportunity TO consult him.
DR.. Clark treats only such eases as are
susceptible OF POSITIVE DIAGNOSIS ~
n basis for Specific Treatment Consnlta-
ton Free and absolutely confidential nj any
of the following appointments:
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
Spectacles and
Eye Glasses.

OPTIC Metric Examinations of
the Eyes made Free of Charge
and Lenses prescribed 10 correct
allerrors of Rel'racli n an Accom-
molalion by W. A. DENNE9,
Graduate Optician.
Iftroublcd with Headache, Pains over the
Eyes, Aching Eye Balls, Blurred sight, let
tors running together when reading, SpeckS
before the Eyes, short sight, Far sight, or
Astismatism, consult him. He dcvptcs his
entire attention to the scientific and acrur-
ate fttine Of Spectaclcs and Eye Glasses 10
correct every defect uf sight arising from
errors of Rcir,mtion or Accom- mediation.
Especial attention given to hitting young
persons and children. All Lenses Of super
Tor quality aud perfect finish. \ complete
system oflcrs exchange; great saving 10
patrons pESSES can refer To hundreds oi
pat rnns la West Virginia who are enjoying
th. use nf his scientifically aud accurately
httcd Lenses.
Why Us" guess work III getting glasscs:
You can II" titted positively by calling upon
optirian Dcnncy. Ut anynf he following APP
potntmcnt>:
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03

~NsAo
become cool,
the restless
ness passc.
isSS.aGngsarI Is
over. What
q relief for
the mother
ms well aSthe
child II you
are without
n II n y o n
j q !" . otV .
p r o c n r Q
them with
out delay. In
that 6rcc-
ton 10 safety.
Every moth.
er Sh o uld
keep sup
piled W it h
" U YON'S
COLD CURE,
COUCH CUR
SORE THRoi
CURE, FEW
CURE. DfARRl
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
PRIZE BABIES.
The Kind Of Children Every
Mother Wants TO Have.

Every mother should know that when the
tiny hands are hot, the head throbbfnR. and
the little heart pumping hard. there Is danger
10 the child A few doses
Of Nunyon, and the quick
I1reafk thin ntopA the hands IEHySSI
The Clarksburg telegram. [volume] (Clarksburg, W. Va.) 1874-1926, 1897-12-03
Furnituresold on Easy
Terms.
Une1celIed In Finish. Durability and
style.
Our Large Stock makes it possible
for you to find just what you
want. Come and see us and
learn prices.

Best equipped undertaking es-
tablishment in Central West Vir-
GINA. Caskets, burial robes, &C.,
of all kinds constantly in stock.
Embalming skillfully done. Our
funeral director has been with
the house since 1869 and has at
tended upward of 1000 funerals.
Two elegant funeral cars. A
beautiful white car with elegant
draperies-the only one in Cen
trail est Virginia. Calls answer
ed at all hours.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1897-11-12
Novel smnIl Change.

A very interesting report on the trade
Of Ads Abbaba, Abyssinia, compiled by
Mr.. Rennell Rodd, has just been issued
by the foreign Office.
The products exported from that
part Of the country are gold, ivory,
civet, wax and coffee. The market for
the two former is largely controlled by
Emperor Menelik, who receives his trib.
ute in this form. This partial monopoly
and the competition Of merchants i'm
porting goods FROM the coast to OBJ
tain gold to send back have driven up
the value, and gold has nearly doubled
In price since last year. The value Of
ivory has also advanced.
Dealing with weights and curren-
cies, Mr.. Rodd adds that it is remarkable
that the prestige of Emperor Menelik
has not succeeded in popularizing the
new dollar stamped with his head. The
only small change for the dollar con
sists either of rifle cartridges or of a
piece Of rock salt some eight inches
long, tapering to either end, and about
two inches broad in the thickest part
Cartridges have come into use as small
change of recent years, but they ara
easily tempered with, charcoal being
substituted for the powder, and are,
therefore, an unsatisfactory medium Of
excbange.-London Mall.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1897-11-12
Mrs. Rorcr,s Pop-overs.

Beat two eggs, without separating, un.
til thoroughly mixed. Add one cup Of
milk. Put one cup of flour into another.
bowl; add to it gradually the eggs and
milk; beat until smooth. Strain
through an ordinary gravel strainer.
Put at once into creased hot gem-pans,
cnd bake in moderately quick oven
for As minutes. If these are properly
made and properly baked they should
swell six times their original bulk, and
may be used for breakfast or luncheon,
CT served with liquid pudding sauce
rs a dessert. Whole wheat flour, If sift-
ed three times, may be substituted for
white -four. Iron gem-pans insure bet
ter results than those made of lighter
metals.-Mrs. s. T. Rorer, in Ladies'
Home Journal.
Savannah courier. (Savannah, Tenn.) 1885-1979, 1897-11-12
PlTH AND POINT.

His call had lasted something like
two hours when he suggested hat he
Believed he could read her thoughts.
"Then why don't you go?' she asked
Chicago Evening Past.
-"Call that n kind man." said an
actor, speaking of an absent acquaint-
ance-"a man who is away from his
family and never sends them farth-
ing? Call that kindnessg" "Yes; UNI
rcmitting kindness" said the other
Household Words.
-"Why are yez decorating, Mrs. Muir
phy?" "Me by Denny is coming home
the day." II thought he was sent np
for foive year" Eyes, but he got
year off for good behavoure." "Sure. 1t
must be comfortin' for yez to have a
good by loike that."-Tit-Bits.
"A Corroborated Criticism.-"What
the piece needs" said the man who vol
unteers advice, sis more atmosphere"
"That's exactly what / said" replied the
manager. 81 told the leading lady yes
terday that when she plays that part
she ought to put on more airs."-Wash.
ington Star.
How He Knew.-"And really did
you love me the first time you ever saw
me? How did you know it was lovcP"
"Well, l overheard you telling another
girl that you didn't believe in eating
things you didn't like just to make
some fellow pay for them."-Cleveland
Leader.
Better Unsaid.-Paterfam Ito
unexpected guest)-"Why didn't you
send us word you were coming? Pot
luck, you know, my boy! Hope you
have managed to make out dinner"
Unexpected Guest carbohydrates
you, old mani hope may never have
worse one."-Harlem Life.
Your majesty" suggested the
grand vizier, might attain the desired
end by setting your majesty's Christian
and Moslem subjects against each
other" The sultan shuddered visibly.
NO." he answered, in a hollow voice.
"With my luck / shouldn't think OF
playing the races."-Detroit Journal.
-Teacher-"There is difference in
the meaing of the words vocation and
'avocation.' Vocation is what one does
all the time; his 'avocation' is something
aside from ones regular occupation.
Now to show that you understand the
difference, tell me what is your fathers
vccation?" Pupil-"Smoking a pipe"
Boston Transcript.