The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-03-17
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

The question is this; does a hen
she lay an egg SO she'll have something
to cackle about?-Truth.
"She says she's twenty five, but she
is thirty-fve. can read it between
the lines. "What lines?" "Those on
her face. "-Harper's Bazaar.
The maid from Boston swept the
street with her glance, 1t was notice
able that the asphalt was covered with
glare of ice. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Minnie said my complexion
was a perfect dream" Mamie
"What did he mean by that?-that it
was not real ?"-1ndianapolis Journal.
Said Freddy vane:
II am awfully glad to seq it rain,
For now, b'gosh,
/ eau wear my $40 mackintoshl"
Chicago Tribune.
Clara" Marie is so disappointed
that it is not to be a masquerade I"
Alice-"No wonder 1t will hardly
be worth while for her to go ut all. 4"
Puck.
"I believe you men think more of
your wheels than you do of your
wives. "Why not? We can get an
improved make every year. Chicago
Record.
Mrs. G. las her husband departs for
club meeting) --'If you're any later
than midnight 1 shan't speak to you. "
G.-"T hope you won't, dear ~
London Figaro.
81 love to have you come and see
sister, Mr.. Thompkins. "Why.
Dickie?" "Oause she never likes
that candy you bring her, an gives it
to me. Chicago Record.
Bambury-"I hear that Stimpton
is dead. Did he leave his wife much ?"
Mispah-'I suppose so. He always
left her as much as he could while he
was alive. Boston Transcript.
Under the spreading chestnut tree
Ths village poet stands,
And hammers out his poetry
OF "snow" ant ''sprngtme" brands.
Cincinnati Tribune.
Suitor-"I called this evening, Miss
Shock, to ask you to be my wife.
Miss Shock-"l am very sorrow, my
friend, that you have made a miatake
IN your calling. Richmond Dis
patch.
May-"I think Kate's refusal will
have good effect on Charley Maude
-r hope SO, but he's so frightfully
slow" May-"I know, but nc told
me it had cut him to the quick. -
New York Press.
Mother-"Whent the boy in the other
house threw stones vt you, why didn't
you come and tell me?" Bobby-"Be.
cause, mamma, can throw them back
better than you. He's more likely to
get hit. "-Hartford Times,
"Have you learned any fancy meth.
ods of skatingP" asked the young wo-.
man. "No," replied Willie Wishings
ton, al can skate only in two ways"
(Which are they?" "Stauding up
and sitting down. Washington Star.
Fuddy-"Yes, 1 know; but has
Plodder really written anything Of
galue?" buddy -"Of value? De.
cidedly yes. He showed me one arti-
Gle alone on which he had spent at
least So in postage. Boston Tran
script
"Oh," she moaned, "to think that /
should have come to this :" But there
was NO help for it. Her companion,
who had brought her there, had a
friend in the oratorical contest, and
he was near the last of the list. In
dianapolis Journal.
Obsequious Walter-"Beg pardon,
sir, but amt you giving quite large
order?" Diner whats that to
you?" Waiter Every much, sir, or
very little. Don't you think you had
better remember the waiter before
you forget it?"-Boston Transcript.
She feared to make the avowal.
Edwin, she faltered, when she could
no longer postpone the inevitable,
"my father has failed in business"
He shivered, "Alas /" he sighed, 'now
that you are become rich, l suppose
our fond dream OF love is at an end?"
Detroit Tribune.
He--"As our engagement is can
celed, of course you will return that
diamond ring?" She-"Mr. Styles,
you said l was peach the day you
gave me that ring. Well, if l am, an
peach of the clingstoLe variety.
Therefore, I'll keep the diamond. ~
Boston Transcript,