davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
Chief Joseph's Drink.

Mr.. Yergason, an artist of Hartford,
was pleased recently to meet the Indian
Chief Joseph at the Fifth Avenue hotel,
New York. He decided that every cour-
tesy should be shown to the Hon. Chief
Joseph, and, walking up to him, he
said:
"Talk English?'
"No talk English, no talk, " replied
the Hon. Chief Joseph.
'"Take a drink?'' inquired Mr.. Yer
gason.
Without a murmur, without a sec
ond's hesitation, with a face that was
as calm as q cobbIestone, the Hon. Chief
Joseph arose from his seat. The Con-
necticut Yankee moved toward the bar
room, and the Hon. Chief Joseph was
at his heels. Mr.. Yergason leaned over
the bar and winked at Colonel Jim
Gray, the head barkeep.
"What VIII you have, chief-whis-
ky?'' asked the Connecticut artist.
Not a word came from the lips of the
Hon. Chief Joseph. He leaned over the
bar and was silent. Colonel Jim Gray
looked at Mr. Yergason, and Mr.. Yerg-
ason looked at Colonel Jim Gray. After
a moment Colonel jim produced a fat
whisky bottle and placed it before the
Hon. Chief Joseph. Next came fat
whisky glass. The Hon. Chief Jospeh
did not touch the whisky bottle nor the
glass in front Of him, and there were
more looks between Colonel Jim Gray
and the Connecticut artist. Finally the
Hartford man winked at Colonel Jim
and nodded his head. Colonel Jim seized
the whisky bottle and filed the whisky
glass to the brim with whisky.
Colonel Jim slid the glass in front of
the Hon. Chief Joseph, who, with calm
ness that was almost alarming, raised
the glass and swallowed the contents at
a gulp. He didn't talk English He
didn't open his lips except to-talk
English as he did.-New York Sun.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
Existed Before Columbus Came.

Some ancient copper mines were
Found in Cook county, Mimi, recently.
lt is thought that they were worked by
some unknown race, and in times long
before our history commenced.
The reason for thinking this, as The
Great Round World explains, is that a
tree with 395 rings on it has been found
growing out of one of the pits. A ring
marks the terminal bud in a branch of
b tree and is formed III the fall of the
year, when the tree has done growing
for that season. This terminal bud con-
|tains the fresh shoot that will spring
when the warm weather comes again,
and, to protect the tender shoot inside,
the covering Of the bud is made OF such
thick leaves that when they fall off III
the spring a scar is left that never dies
out and lasts as long as the tree does,
and in this way the age Of a tree can
be counted.
According TO this, the tree is 395
years old, and allowing for the length
of time it would have taken for suffi-
Client earth to gather together to sup
port the roots of the tree, it is thought
that the mine has not been worked for
more than 500 years, Or before Column
bus discovered America.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
Beyond His Means. = A Drawn,

Beyond His Means. A brawny
Swede visited the city hall the other
day to procure a marriage license and
a couple of clerks to whom he in
nocently stated his wishes directe d
him to the department where dog
licenses are issued. He approached
the license window efficiently, gave
his name and address and asked what
the document would cost. 1t will
cost you 81 for every dog you keep,
replied the clerk. Dog? echoed the
Swede. Why, certainly, continued
the clerk, don't you want dog Ii
cense? Hal, no! cried the would be
benedict. Ay KANT afford to buy
dogs dees var. Ay want to get only
a woman now.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
SHORT NEWS STORIES.
The Cabby and the Lost Ro11-Chief Jo-
seph's Drink-Tbe Smartest Dog.
Was hungry and Willing.

National Committeeman ". Q. Hill
of Tennessee had an experience in Wash
ington not long since that will linger
long in his own memory and that of a
certain cab driver of the capital. Mr..
Hill is a small but why and resolute
gentleman. The particular cabby with
whom he had to do was big and strong
and not overburdened with integrity.
His fare was on the point Of leaving the
city, but got the jehu to drive him to a
down town hotel, the bar OF which he
entered for liquid refreshments. While
in the place the Tennesseean dropped a
roll of bills amounting to nearly $2OO.
He re-entered the vehicle, but shortly
afterward discovered his loss and direct
ed the driver to take him back to the
hotel where he had last remembered TAX
ing out his money.
On entering he made eager inquiry
for the lost roll, but nobody had seen it.
It was a good bit to Jet get away, and
Mr.. Hill was much put out. He went
back to the street and said rather saw
agely to the coachman, ''Drive me to
the police station.' The fellow demur-
red to this, and at last fatty refused to
grab for the man to pull him off his
seat.
"Hold on, sir. That'll do. I'll give
you back your money! and to the as
tonishment of the southerner cabby be-
gan to unscrew his ancient lamp. and
from the socket drew forth a bundle of
currency so blackened and soiled with
grease and dirt that it was scarcely to
be recognized as money. Mr.. Hill count
ed it and found there was not dollar
missing.
He was so amazed at the denouement
that he forgot to tell the driver what he
thought of him, and the latter began to
humble forth a lame explanation that
he hadn't meant to steal the cash, but
only intended to keep it for awhile to
teach the owner not to be SO careless in
future. MI. Hill let it go at that, but
he has his own ideas touching the in
tentions of the other party. -Washing
ton Post.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

The question of the relationship be-
tween the Military Academy and our sys-
tenn of national defence is thoroughly
threshed out in the July Horper'S by
Captain James Parker, u. S. A, who is
now stationed at West Point. Starting
with the well-known historical fact that
if the intention of the founders had been
needed, West Point would now graduate
several times as many soldiers as it does.
Captain Parker shows the grave dangers of
an insufficiency of our reserve, in civil
life, of trained officers; and does not hest
tate to say that the academy seems to be
conducted not for the glory of the repub-
ment of similar academies in the West
and South.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

The breed of SHOW white cattle
which were used in the sacrifices in
Athens and Rome from two thousand
to twenty five hundred years ago is
still in existence in Calabria, Italy
Great pains are taken to maintain the
strain of blood in all it's purity, and
calves showing a single hair of any
other color than white are separated
from the herd.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

cone should speak and act honor
ably; the one is an excellence of the
head, the other of the heart, and both
arise from nobility of soul. Words
are the shadowds of deeds; the former
are feminine, the latter asculine. 1t
is more important to be renowned
than to convey renown. Speech is
easy, action hard. Actions are the
stuff of life, words it's frippery. Emil
nent deeds endure, striking words
pass away. Actions are the fruit of
thought; if this is wise, they are
effective" Such was the reflection
of wise man hundreds of years ago.
It!will ever remain true. 1t is given
to but a few to speak the words which
remain for all time, but all men act
and are seen by their fellows. It is
imitation which makes common SEN
timent. Those who are noblest are
the ones copied. A dozen of upright
men in a neighborhood are as good,
if not better, than a library. Virtue
does not result from knowing, but
doing; and this latter comes from
following those who practice the
ways Of right living. Everyone has
an influence, and SO nothing is ever
lost. Each smile goes ever widening
through all the ways of men.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
The Lady Moon and the Stars.

"Now, children dear, come trim 20,
lamps"
Said Lady Moon one night
To all the laughing little stars.
1t was funny sight
To see them crowding, crowding home.
Fresh from long days play,
A band of tricksy, twinkling sprites,
Along the azure way.
"And hush, my dearsi'' said Lady Moon
''Your fathers gone to bed
You know he's travelled far today,
And so would rest, he said
"And myself am busy, dears,
With managing my tides,
And, oh, my dears, my hands are full
OF many things besides.
"My lamp, of which the poets sing,
Will burn tonight but low,
So take your lamps and haste away.
You all your stations know.
"The world is fond of starlight, dears,
I've heard your father say.
By it the sailor guides his bark,
The traveller steers his way
Then evening star and polar star,
The Great and Little Bear
And those who light the milky way,
All took their stations there.
Sweet Venus light shone paly blue,
And Mars a fiery red,
And still they climbed the wondrous hill
And hung their lamps o'erhead-
Then twinkle, twinkle, little star,
Lisped many happy child
But, oh, the sweetest, best of all
The world looked up and smiled.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

is trite advice to tell women to
take every day as it comes, to avoid
remorse over what is done, and fore
bodings over what is to come, but it
is no less valuable advice. Nervous
prostration is seldom the result of
present trouble or work, but OF work
and trouble anticipated. Mental ex-
haustion comes to those who look
ahead and climb mountains before
they arrive at them. Resolutely
build wall about today and live
within the inclosure; the past may
have been hard, sad, or wrong-lt is
over. The future may be like the
past, but the woman who worries
about it may not live to meet tiff
she does she will bear 1.-THE only thing
with which she should concern her
self is to day; it's sunshine, its air, its
friends, it's frolics, it's wholesome
work, and, perhaps it's necessary
sorrow Chicago Tribune.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
secretarv Bliss and the Kickapoo.

Cornelius N. Bliss, the portly secre-
tary of the interior, recently gave audi
ence to band of Kickapoo Indians
They were received with due solemnity,
and when about to leave the chief held
his right hand out on an exact level
with the top of Mr.. Bliss head "Heap
little high, - he grunted. But holding
both hands open about half foot from
each ear and then pointing to his head
he added impressively, but hi yu
skookum heap big here The only
cabinet minister who can dance a sail
or's hornpipe blushed rosy red. Phil
adelphia Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
Marvellous Results.

From letter written by Rev. J. Gunderl
man, of Dimondale, Mich, we are permitted
to make this extract 81 have no hesitation in
recommending DR.. Kings New Discovery, as
the results were almost marvellous in the case
of my wife. While was pastor of the Bap-
fist church at Rives Junction she was brought
down with pneumonia succeeding la grippe.
Terrible paroxysms of coughing would last
hours with little interruption and it seemed
as if she could not survive them. A friend
recommended DIR. Kings New Discovery; it
was quick in its work and highly satisfactory
in results" Trial bottles free at 81. c. Pierce's
drug store. Regular size soc and 81.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

The odor of the sweet pea, accord
ing to contributor TO The Medical
Record, lis so offensive to flies that it
will drive them out Of the sickroom,
though it is not usually in the slight
est degree disagreeable to the pa
TENT 1t is therefore recommended
that sweet peas be placed in the sick
room during flytime.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
YOUTHS DEPARTMENT.
be Way to Fairyland and Some of the
People There-Existed Before CO.
lumbus Came-A Stork Story.

M here's a wonderful house in fairyland,
land the walls are built of cake.
M has chocolate doors and strawberry roof
And beautiful ice cream lake,
bad blithc King Cole, that merry old soul,
Mould like you al 20 see
his very desirable residence
Where he lives with his fiddlers three.
b. old woman tlwells in her shoe hard by.
When Ter children are good all day,
Eith Il, L Poy Bluc and Puss in Boots
b. lie ice cream lake they play,
Ind lie Jack Horner meets them there,
Bat never does poor Bopeep.
N be ,-cr1ers away down he sugar plum lanes
L. search OF her lost white sheep.
N he piper lives, with his naughty son,
On tie slopes of the Noah's Ark hill,
nd down in the vale where the beanstalk
grows
Dwell JACK and his SIS. er Jill
4 md there is he COW with the small, bright
moon,
That plays with him ell night long,
Al bid the dish, who sings to the shiniest spoon
a queer little 1nince pie song.
md here lives Mary, quite contrary,
Who sat herself down and cried
Then the cookie shells grew in her garden beds
Without any cookies inside.
The frosgie who would 2-wooing go
Gives the other frogs lessons in singing,
md the pretty lamb with the snow white
fleece
Sets the silver lily bells ringing
Dh, would you not like to come away
And live in this fair countree?
Then just embark in dreamland boat
And sail DER the sleepy sea.
Fou must sail beyond the enchanted land,
Through many fairy bay
md many stretch of summer sea,
Where the merry dolphins play.
4 nd, then, when you come to the fairy shore
And you hear the fiddlers three,
on must find and follow the silver thread
OF that magical melody.
And if over hills and through flowery dales
The way that it leads you take,
You will come to the palace of old King Cole,
BY the wonderful ice cream lake.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

turn disturbs the digestion. Nothing will
ever completely relieve but a radical
cure. The start of so-called female COM
plants - ma be very slight thing indeed.
1t may be that in the beginning some small
hygienic measures would stop the trouble.
Certainly at this time, little bit of the
right medicine would stop it. When the
trouble becomes worse, it is harder to cure,
but still it can be cured. DR.. Pierce's Fa-
vorite Prescription will positively cure any
trouble of this character. IT may be abso-
lutely relied upon. 1t affords lasting relief
to a woman whose natural modesty has
kept her froru consulting physicians.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Beethoven could play rom lem :
DRY, all the preludes anu 1ugues con-
tanned in Bach'S "Weu- fem pered
CIaVchord." There are As preIudes
and the same number OF tugueo, and
as each is in the most absJruse style
Of counterpart, the difficulty Oh inns
performance VIII be appreciated by
every musician PhitadetDhlo Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

When d decanter becomes 50 dis
colored inside that shot or nne coal
will not cleanse 1t, fill the bottle with
fine chopped potato Feelings, COL
tightly and let the bottle remain tor
three days, when the peeIings Will
ferment. AT the end OF UnaU tim e
water and the stains WIN be found 10
have disappeared.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Only the purest water is employ ed
by the Chinese IN washing The finer
grades of silk. Ordinary Well water
in it's natural state is unsuitable, and
is purified by placing Quantity of
mollusks in it for day. These prey
on any impure organic matter and act
as filters.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

1t is very great mistake to keep
choice lace for years without wash
ing. Many women believe that it is
ruined by soap and water, and will
keep some cherished length for years
and years, turning yellow with age
and rotting with the dust it has ac-
cumulated till it really drops to
pieces.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
Her Mounts.

They were having their fortunes told
Pby means of the palm, and some one
wanted to know what all those funny
little humps meant at tie base of each
Finger "Oh, these arS mounts, was
the palmistis answer. "They mean
Venus, Mars, Saturn, Mercury and lot
more. Mot always" observed the
fpinster aunt lin my hand those humps
mean rheumatism. New York Sun.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
BucklenS' Arnica SalVe.

The Best Salve in the world for cuts, bruis-
es, sores, ulcers, salt rheum, fever sores, tet-
ter, chapped hands, chiiblains, corns, and all
skin eruptions, and positively cures piles, or
no pay required. IL is guaranteed give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded. Price
rs cents per box. For sale by b. <. + cree.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
Hungry and Willing.

The editor of the Whitsett ga.
Courier recently received the following
note from lowland subscriber:
II have made up my mind to kill
you at breakfast tomorrow morning.
The editor replied:
"All right If you II just furnish the
breakfast, you can shoot away
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

"They are dandies" said Thos. Bowers, of
the Crockett, Texas, Enterprise, while writing
about DeWltt's Little Early Risers, the fa-
nous little pills for sick headache and disor-
ders of the stomach and liver. III. c. Pierce,
Barton; d. w. HiIdreth, Barton Landing; r..
E. French, Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
JUST FUN.

Footlights, tragedian, travels under
his wife's management. Decker-So
do most men, only they don't adver-
tise it.
How it works out in practice.-The
rain falls alike on the just and the
unjust. True, but the unjust man is
generally provided with the just mans
umbrella.
found this coin upon your desk,
sir. Master-I'm glad you are hon
est. I put it there purposely to test
your honesty. New Servant-That's
what I thought.
Colonel-So poor old Mike has com
mitted suicide, has he? Well, I should
have thought that would have been
the last thing he'd have done. Tenant
Which it were, sor.
A martyr to the craze.-What a
silly young man that pretty Miss
CAMERON married. Yes; how did it
happen? 1t wasn't her fault. He
was one of her mothers bargains.
She-You know, dear, we won't get
any Of fathers money while he lives.
Hell know; but he's going to reside
with us and you are going to do the
cooking. Let US hope for the best.
You want to marry my daughter,
Ell? said the practical man; well what
provision have you made for the
future. o, as to that, replied the
sutton, I'll join the church right
away.
There is no occasion for you to envy
me, said the prosperous person. I
have as many troubles as you, I al
low you do, mister, admitted Dismal
Dawson, but the difficulty with me is
that amt got nothing else.
The Husband (who has walked the
floor three hours)-Half Of him be-
longs to you. The New Woman
from the bed)-Well, let my half
boiler. The Husband-You brute! I
shall go right home to father.
You see, it was this way; They were
all three so dead in love with her and
all so eligible that to settle the mat
ter she agreed to marry the one who
should guess nearest to her age. And
did she? don't know. I know she
married the one that guessed the
lowest.
The milkman was plainly irritated.
Here, just as the times are SO hard he
exclaimed, you think you must have
a new silk dress Yes, dear, said his
wife, but this is to be only watered
silk, you know Feminine tact, it
seemed, never did a thing but find
man an easy mark.
When you are absorbed in your
business cares down town today,
Herbert, you will forget your little
wife entirely. No, darling. That
steak you cooked for me with your
own sweet hands this morning for
breakfast will keep you in my mem
DRY every minute of the day.
When a lady is sitting to a Partisan
photographer for portrait the
operator does not in a perfunctory
manner coldly request her to "look
pleasant, now, if you pleased" He
says to her in the most natural and
graceful manner in the world; cit is
quite unnecessary to ask mazda ~ to
look pleasant; she could not look
otherwise."
My husband is so nice about ex-
planning these war terms to me! I
know I aggravate him awfully, too,
sometimes. Why, only think! had
to ask him this morning what the
seat of war was for! Yes? Wasn't
it foolish! But he is SO patient. The
idea that I didn't have sense enough
to see that it is for the standing army
to use when it gets tired!
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

The good or evil you appropriate
out OF thisstrange conglomeration of
things here below will be your good
or evil, your happiness or unhappi-
ness for time and eternity.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Don't thin your bIoou with sassa.ras "a
poison II with Dlue-masS; UuJ sIu 4NaUuLe "
using DeWlLJ's LlJJle EarIy hIsers, L4lr famous
little pills Tor constipation, DlIIouSnesS and
stomach and liver troubles. Incy az puIeI Y
vegetable. ii. Y. Pie zee, Barton; IL. Il. rrencn
Glover; u. w. HIIdreLh. Barton L1auu.ng.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Not only piles of the very worst kind can
be cured by DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve, but
eczema, scalds, burns, bruises boils, ulcers
and all other skin troubles can be instantly
relieved by the same remedy. H. G. Pierce,
Barton; d. w. Hi1dreth. Barton Landing; r.
z. French. Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Don't neglect a cough because he weather
is pleasant: before the next storm rolls
around il may develop into a serious difficult
ty beyond repair. One Minute Cough Cure is
easy to take ana will do what its name i'm
plies. III. Z. Pierce, Barton; ID. w Hildreth,
Barton Landing; r. Z. French, Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Terrible Accident.-It is a terrible avcldrnt
to be burned scalued; OUT pain aha
agony ana the 1rlgnLfuI .tisng urrnicnts Gan
be quickly overcome without leaving a
by using DeWItG's WItcn Hazel SAWS. II. q.
Pierce, Darton; -. w. hIIdrctn, barton Lanu
ing; II. T.. French, Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

w. B. johnson, Newark, o.. says: lone
Minute Cough Cure saved my only child from
dying by Group" 1t has saved thousands of
others suffering from Group, pneumonia,
bronchitis and other serious throat ana lung
troubles. III. &. Pierce, Barton; ID. w. Hid
reth, Barton Landing; r. T.. French, Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

We must not take the faults of our
mouth into our old age; for old age
brings with it it's own defects.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Sick headache can be quickly and COM
pIetely overcome by using those famous little
pills known as 'DeWitt's Little Early Risers.
II. c. Pierce, Barton; D. w. Hildreth, Barton
Landing; r. E. French, Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28
CHOW to Cure An skin Diseases

Simply apply Swayne's Ointment. No In
ternal medicine required. Cures letter, ecz-
ma, itch, all eruptions on the face, hands,
nose, etc., leaving the skin clear, white and
healthy. Its great healing and curative pow.
ers are possessed by no other remedy. ASK
your druggist for Swayne's Ointment.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Emma-And, Charlie, dear, would
you have really shot yourself if had
refused you?
Charlie-Indeed I would! I had al
ready sent to four houses for price
lists of revolvers,
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Some for ten some for twenty and some fol
thirty years have suffered from piles anC
cured by using DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve
the great remedy for piles and all forms OF
skin diseases. II. G.. Pierce, Barton; ID. w
Hildreth, Barton Landing; r. e. French
Glover.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

Doctor-"Are you troubled with in
somnia all the time?''
Patient Not when Pm asleep
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-06-28

DeWitt'S Collie 6 Cholera Cure.
Pleasant, quick results. safe to use.