davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1897-01-23
HOW 1T WAS PRONOUNCED.
An Example of the Personal style
Heard in New York.


Heard in New York.
The drummer had been in Washington
for about hour and half. and was al
ready telling stories as incredible as they
were true. He had come from Boston and
had stopped over in New York just long
enough to be able to say that he had come
from New York, a way some people have
who want to impress other people of their
kind.
of course he was saying. as he turn
ed in on the third or fourth tale ''you all
know of Chauncey NJ. Depew. and how
any other man on earth or six feet below
its surface. and how he never says a word
about what they think. but just laughs.
Well when 1 landed in New York the other
day from Boston, l lit in the New York
Central station up at 42d street and had to
wait awhile for friend of mine, and
while there l heard two ladies talking
One said it was a very fine 'deepo.' and the
other said she mustn't call it 'deepo' but
CepDo, the regular old discussion you
Know. when they ought to say station
anyhow.
In the midst Of their discussion a man
who was their escort appeared with some
tickets that he had been seeing about and
c2gO.
We were just discussing said the elder
lady to the man. the question as to
whether these people called so handsome a
bliild:ng as this "deepo" or "deppo.''
All indeed? he said with a laugh
You are both wrong; they pronounce it
Depew," of course"
Evening star., 1897-01-23
SOME ODD CHARACTERS.
People Who Seek Fame Through VeFy
Peculiar Channels.

Il think il all the cranks in this country
were corralied,'' remarked the clerk in the
Treasury Department, land put under a
shed somewhere. 1t would require one
bigger than all the buildings at the worlds
fair"
Would there really be anybody to do the
corralling?" inquired a pesstmistic old
party. who thinks there is none good no.
not one.
'As l was saying" continued the treas
ury clerk. 't would take the biggest shed
on earth. and still there is a new kind
This time it is man or woman who has
been sending in ten cents at time as a
contribution to the conscience fund, with
name signed in full, and there is no such
ramc on the treasury books and never has
been. | suppose it is merely some crank
who thinks he or she will get that name in
the papers and have that much fame out
OF it,
That's silly enough" Clipped in post
office inspector. but 1 heard of the oldest
chap on my last trip down south. You may
rot know, or, If you do. don't pay much
attention to the fact. that there is fine of
$40 for sending written matter through the
mails under any rate except TWO cents an
ounce. Very likely you have sent enough
stun written on papers books and so on
to bankrupt you if you had the fines to
pay. but Uncle Sam is easy. and 1 don't
know of case where anybody ever had
came into a certain office down south and
gave the postmaster $500. heing the amount
of fines he owed the government for vio-
lation of postage laws. as far as he could
recall them. He was young man. and he
stated that he had violated the law while
in love with a girl to whom he sent papers
and books occasionally. and though he
wrote to her every day he couldn't let the
others go without writing something on
them. The postmaster didn't know how to
act in the premises. and just what he
would have done finally. nobody knows,
but the next day. the young mans father
came to see the postmaster and told him
that his son had been Tilted by his sweet
heart. and 1t had crazed him. This was an
explanation which satisfied the official and
the money was returned"
"Cgn." grunted the pessimistic old party.
in no wise affected by the pathos Of the
little story. only crazy person or an
idiot would ever think of settling square
with Uncle Sam for little bunco game
like that"
Evening star., 1897-01-23
BORN THAT WAY.
story Of n Little New York Orphan
Boy and a War Clerk

Story OF Little New York Orphan
Boy and a War Clerk.
clerk in the War Department. residing
out TakOn:a way. was entertaining a few
friends the other evening. and being enter
tanned by them over a barrel OF cider and
the condiments which go with it. Incidental
thereto being some conversational efforts
on the part of each and every one.
II don't KNOW" said the clerk, when It
came his turn, whether It is that l love
children and the very thought Of a poor
little orphan moves my inmost soul to
pity. or because l am, on general princf-
pies. most tender-hearted and benevolent
person. but this do know, that am never
permitted hy any begging child on the
street to escape. They get me every time
In spite of myself. So 1t was when I was
over in New York about month ago. 1t
was cold night and l was hurrying along
to my hotel at about IL o'clock when /
ran across q hey about ten or eleven years
old. standing on the street corner crying
or course, / couldn't stand that kind Of
thing, especially as the youngster was rag
ged and thin and evidently not a member
of any OF the swell clubs in that vicinity
Hello said !. in my usually benevolent
and encouraging tone, Isn't this rather
street,"
""Tain't my fault he blubbered. with
his dirty fists in his eyes.
why. you poor little chap, what's the
him.
~ wanter go home
well. why don't you?
~ amt got none I'm a orphan.
BLESS my soul. what a pity to be an
orphan alone in the world and SO young.
How did it ever happen. my boyr and /
went down in my pocket for dollar at
least.
I'LL he blubbered, I was borned
that way
Then 1t occurred to me that possibly
Evening star., 1897-01-23
z
Mr. DOla Criticism,

Rafferty, said Mr.. DoIan, i'm a conf
Dental tone and with an earnest wave of
his pipe, ''it wor somethin grand an Orm
sorry fur yez thot ye cudn't of been alonS =
fur the sport. If Oi hadn't seen it. Ord
be sinkin' inty sickness fur the regret over
what Ord missed 1t wor simply stew
pinjis.
'Dolan.' replied his neighbor, in a tone
of contempt, ''ye're fallin inty yer old
wakeness. Ye're talkin', but yez ain't say
in nothin. Is it drame yere tryin' ty
tell me?'
1T wor beautfuller nor a drame" was
the rhapsodc response.
''Bur what wor it,"
THE op'ry.''
Grand opry%'
Il dunno wor it grand op'ry or petty op'ry.
But Oh haven't had much -aIe inj'ymint
since the spell O say sickness siperated me
Evening star., 1897-01-23
X X
Unapprcciated COurtesy,


WHATS this?' he exclaimed, as he scan
ned the bill. who ordered all these dry
goods and notions?
Il did. dear" his wife replied
Hadn't you clothes enough?'
Certainly not. You had asked me to go
driving with you this afternoon and 1 did
not desire to be a sight"
1t was all said without any great asperity
but with that unhesitating frankness which
shows that the honeymoon has been over
for :weI %sny Ss Ssars; rsmmsntsa ..t s..,,. ;, r
that the women of the present day exert
themselves with more industry than sense
themselves up now they are simply out
landish."
rs that intended as a personal remark %
Not at all. You are only one of the
forth and defy these absurd fashions,
praiseworthy as such course would be-
You are not the stuff OF which martyrs
are made. l don't blame you for yielding
to the inevitable. I yield myself, but /
cannot help signing for the sweet simplicity
of days gone by
Perhaps do not seem as attractive to
you now. because I have grown Older
1t isn't that" he protested. You are
more sensible and companionable than ever
But say. without desiring to hurt your
feelings. that you don't dress with the
taste that you showed twenty years ego,
when we were married"
IL do my best" .
can't help it,
well. you can piease me by being ready
early. II We can avoid being late. as usual,
IN not have a word to say. We're always
late wherever we go, and ! won't have a
Evening star., 1897-01-23

from me nome in
Munster. All. thin
wor the days. an Oh
hadn't sane anythin'
lOikc 'em till Oi sat in
the orchestra chairs
an " a t C h e d the
op'ry. Nivver contra
dict yer wolfe, Raf-
ferty. Lave 'er hov
'er own way. She
knows best. If IL
worn't fur Moya Ord
of missed the whole
ting. Ord understud
thot op'ry wor a
place W h ere the
fashionable FOLK
meets ty chat things
o"- 49, N. -, - -.
Evening star., 1897-01-23
\ DfSEusteSl Guest.

dat town makes me tired said Mean
dering Mike. as he contemptuously tossed
a newspaper into field. 1t was evident
that he was laboring under the depression
which bad weather will produce in the
mcst buoyant dispositions.
What towns dat?'
.'Washin ton, dc capital O all desc United
States"
Ain dey runnin' de inauguration ter suit
ye?"
Il don't care fur de 'naugeration-only,
of course, I'm goin'. cause allus likes ter
be Wit lie gang But wot hurts me patri't-
ism is de way dey wastes money. Dem fell
lers don't seem ter re'lize de value of a dol
lar. 1t seems like dey's got SO much dust
dat dey can't manage any way excep' ter
sweep 1t off in a corner where it'll be outn
de way
Il wisht 1 wus SO fixed dat 1 cud stan
aroun' somewheres an git me clothes full
of it,
in dem words we've sounded de keynote
OF popular discomfort Us fellers-de strug-
glin masses
me no strugglin' mass
'Wot have dey been doin' wit de tax
payers money? Deyve been squanderin
fice''
''Anudder one?"
Nav; de same ole new post office I'd
IKE ter hev some feller-one dats good at
hggers-tell me how much an inch dat
building hez been costin'. But dey ain
satisfied wit dat Dey're lookin' aroun' fur
some place ter put new printin' Office fur
de government Why don't dey git together
an put some style where it'll do good !?
Why don't dey do something dat'H give us
Visitors a chance ter go away an give 'em
a good reputation? Dey turns detr backs on
de cryin' needs of de hour an while dey're
shovelin' money inter all desc architectural
luXurieS, dey calmly notifies you an me dat
OWN ter de lack of accommodations, we'll
halter sleep two in a bed when we gifts Ter
de workhouse!
Evening star., 1897-01-23
A Sensitive Nature.

The directory of a neighboring city con-
tains the name of a gentleman who is con-
spicuous for his economy. Although more
than well-to-do, he can never smart under
any insinuations that he makes an osten-
tatious display of his resources. But he is
ever ready to listen to any story of dis
tress. He is gentle in manners as he is
rigid in his financial affairs. and has re-
fused many an applicant for charity with
so much pathos that the object of the visit
was forgotten In the effort TO comfort him
Some relations of his were reduced to the
extremity of appealing TO him. 1t was
forlorn hope, but at that time it seemed
the only one. A mutual friend was pre-
vailed upon to act ambassador When
he called he was received with cffusive
courtesy.
II have just seen some relations of
yours. said the caller. by way of bringing
forward the real purpose of his visit
You mean the EaSigos?'
Yes
4 haven't heard anything from them in
MONTHS.
Maybe I can explain that" said the
friend. with a sudden inspiration. 1T is
altogether likely that they have not writ
ten because they felt that they could not
afford to buy a postage stamp. And as they
are In very bad circumstances they may
have been delicate about reminding you Of
their needs.
It's distressing to think that they should
want for anything. They have always been
used to the best"
Yes, and like SO many others. they have
De=n restrained by pride from seeking as
sistince, even where it ought 10 be freely
given
TOO bad; too bad. My heart goes out to
Them.
Il saw them in their home They have
been compelled to refuse their daughter a
ne" piano, and they're using the same hall
carpet they've had for the last six years
heard that from their own lips. To think
of people of their refinement being obliged
TO practice such economies simply for the
lack of a few hundred dollars
It's terrible" and there We're genuine
symptoms Of tears. It's the most distress
ing thing I've heard of them for a long
time 1 can't tell you how sorry 1 am for
them"
Il knew You would be moved I was sure
of it. 1t has paved the way for some news
have to tell you. Their pride is ,lumbled
at last. They're coming to YOU"
Yes. was the response, i'm trcmulous
tone. Il guessed as much. And that's why
I'm so sorry, for them. They're not going
to get anything
Evening star., 1897-01-23
x *
A Recipe.

Come hther, now, ye writer-men. am
bitious to indita
A volume that is strictly up to date;
The kind that sets the critics fairly cooing
with delight
And wins you favor with the masses
straight.
Discard your plots. An interesting story's
quite Dasse.
sulen Scots the character TO draw.
In a misanthropic way
You must Sapiently say,
''Hoot ava! A ia egither, Hoot ava"
BE careful to avoid all graceful aups or
Jovial turns.
At present they are not at all the fad.
That sort of thing went out with gentle,
genial Bobbie Burns.
If you're not depressing now, your work
is bad.
You must frequently say ''muckle'' If you'd
earn the praise of men,
Nor forget TO put in bonnie" .'braw'
and ''twa."
You must say. you dinna ken,'
And, every now ard then,
''Hoot ava, A .taegither, Hoot AVA"
Evening star., 1897-01-23

drums. but he Eiyver wakeneI. So IL wint
till the ind av the lasht round. wild wanst
in whole some other singer takin' the
place av the fely wild the haich voice ty
give i'm tonne ~ brathc. An when the
spectators got up ty go out the fiddlers wor
wipin their for heads in exhaustion, an
the defate wor ez clane an complate ez
any Knockout Oi irvcr saw. oi ashked
Casey who the felly wild the hoigh voice
was, an he said il wor kraus. the timer.
It's a hoighy Respectable occura ton; hut
If Oi wor Kraus ord give up the thrade an
sing fur a Twin"
Evening star., 1897-01-23
In View of Recent Events.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
'Jimson wants the presidency of the
Fifth National Bank. doesn't he?'
Yes: but he stands no show against
Shumway."
What's Shumway's recommendation for
the placer
He hasn't any relatives"
Evening star., 1897-01-23

Il expected you to say I was pretty"
she pouted
"Arabella, I'm fond Of YOU but / can't
lie. You aren't any prettier than a cross
eyed pelican. What ever possessed you to
do anything like that"
1T was simply TO please you, dear"
ITO please me-"
Yes. It's the way 1 dressed twenty
years ago. wien we were married"
Evening star., 1897-01-23

word to say about how you're dressed. pro-
vided only that it's done in hurry"
That afternoon he sat down In the H.
brsry to wait till his wife had comcleted
her attire. He lifted mis- gaze from the
paper in response to her inquiry, How do
1 look DEAR
He sprang to his feet and vainly strug-
Evening star., 1897-01-23

oA~' S " "a N's A'Alt
wore a very small
hat, a large chienon
and strangely proper
toned masses of mil
linery, for which his
vocabulary could find
no polite phrase. A
diminutive parasol
completed the alb
surdity.
"Arabella." he ex-
claimed, in a daZed
manner. were Just
going driving. you
know. 1t isn't any
masquerade"
Don't you like it,"
she queried, in a tone
nf SfnntS hu,nnt
Evening star., 1897-01-23
Sufficiently Qualified.

rom Ihc fincinhatI Enquirer.
Il can't see why you girls all take such
delight In listening to that Englishman. Is
there any nigh originality about him."
No said the girl with the liquid eyes
ard the solid bank account, nothing but
high origin
And the querulOus plebeian retired abash
into the tenebrous recesses of obscurity.
Evening star., 1897-01-23
Inherited Experience.

From Household Words.
Woman of the World (to youthful ad-
mirer)-"You seem to know q great deal
about married life. Are you married?'
Youthful Admirer with blasc air)--"No.
but my father is
Evening star., 1897-01-23
a Reckless Permission.

f's" the cie,'ian4 fain ieaier.
"What In the world smashed your hat?'
why, when came out of the house this
morning ! laughfngly told my neiehbor's $
Oldest girl that l would give her N lief at
me with SNOWFALL
'Well?'
We'll, it turhe4i ont that she's the star
pitcher of the Vdtlssr hall team
Evening star., 1897-01-23

was about to be victimized hy one of those
confidence cha6s (of the metropolis and ]
compromised WiCh my benevolence and
gave the kid ani.kel
Evening star., 1897-01-23
Too Much for Him,

from Town Topics.
Daughter-"George says he fears he can't
support me I'm the style I'm accustomed to-"
Father-"Marry him, anyhow. can't
keep 1t up much longer myself"
Evening star., 1897-01-23
Realism.
From the Detroit Josrpal

From the Detroit J,srnal
Critic-"Your picture seems to lack at
moSphere."
Arttst-'1 believe you are right. I'm
thinking seriously of painting in modern
ventilating apparatus" :"
Evening star., 1897-01-23
Lasting joy.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
Ferry Patettic-"'rhey say one of them
champagne drunks will last man three or
Tour days on one nights drinkin'."
WayWorn Watson-"Them plutocrats al
ways does have the best of it, don't they?'
Evening star., 1897-01-23

Il always save my snow." said the keep
er Of a downtown boarding house. "and
have now on hand three barrels full. That
Will last me until the next snow. when 1
hope TO pack away another supply. For
freezing ice cream. puddugs, Roman punch
and other things in that line snow is much
better han ice. for the reason that 1t can
be packed into the freezer easier. II is
also colder than ice and works much more
rapidly than ice. besides does the same
work with half the quantity OF salt, and
with mitch less trouble. 1t may be a
Iarkee trick. for 1 learned 1t UP In Yer
mont. but IL Is a good one l assure YOU.
l have always a number OF empty bar
reis i'm the cellar. and j get the men who
come In for free meal to fill Them They
are always glad to do the work and 1
am glad for the result. for 1t saves me
considerable I'm my ice bill. When the
snow Is put in barrels they should be COW
The daily morning journal and courier., 1897-01-18
po,;,s Wonderland Tbeater

A very high class attraction has been secured as the feature of this weeks bill at PoIi's Wonderland theater in the persons of MT. and Mrs. Sidney Drew, who will appear in their latest and most successful comedietta, "A Model Young Man" The Drews come from we'll known theatrical stock, MT. Drew being brother of the famous John Drew, so long associated with Augustin Daily, and the son of the fa- nous Mrs Drew, who is almost the oldest actress in America. Mrs. Sid- ney Drew is a daughter of Mckee Rankin, who is known to every theater goer in New Haven. Both have inher- tied the talent of their gifted parents, and there are few brighter comedy nroducers on the American stage. Among those who have left the legiti- mate for the vaudeville stage MT. and Mrs Sidney Drew have achieved prob- ably ,the greatest success. A very strong vaudeville cast has been secured to appear in support of the Drews. Among them are the Vassar quartet, c. w. Littlefield, Kenne and Welch, Mcbride and Goodrich, MT. and Miss Burrows, Polk and Rollins, and MT. and Miss Wills. With the exception of the Drews these are nearly all new faces to New Haven, and among them are some of the brightest comedy crea- tors in the vaudevilles.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1897-01-18
ENTERTAINMENT.
Grand Opera House.

MT. Bunnell has booked for tonight and Tuesday and Wednesday evenings at the Grand opera house the great railroad melodrama, Lincoln J. Car ters Fast Mail," which will be given a grand scenic production, which in many respects promises to be one of the most remarkable ever in this city. The play is constructed on strictly modern principles. The interest starts at terrific pace and is not allowed to flag for an instant The incidents are made doubly thrilling by the mechani- cal and scenic effects that are employ ed. There is the rattle and chatter of a patrol wagon as it comes down the street, the whistles, bells, etc, of a Mississippi steamboat leaving her wharf, moonlight effects on the river, the glowing furnaces of the boat, and the explosion and breaking up of the steamer. A gigantic piece of real wa ter scenery is presented in the Niaga- ra Falls scene, where the enormous cataract Is represented with the roar of the water, the seething foam and the rising mist A freight train of four teen cars is run across the stage The caboose is lighted and the engine car ries the engineer and fireman. It is everywhere acknowledged to be an un- surpassed achievement in railroad scenic effect There seems to be no limit to the possibilities of stage mechanism, but "The Fast Mail' seems to have covered all the ground up to the present date. The com pany is highly spoken of and the play is we'll constructed with strong tinge of comedy to offset the serious ele- ments. Matinee Wednesday.
 THE SPAN OF LIFE'
 Manager William Calder of ''The Span of Life" company asserts that it took him a year and a half to perfect his plans for the protection of the acro- bats in the human bridge scene In ''The Span of Life.'' Even now after six years of almost continuous perform ance, he never witnesses the scene with undisturbed nerves, although the possibility of accident has been reduc- ed to a minimum The leading lady in this play must needs be a woman of steady nerves; otherwise she could never be equal to her strong scenes in the fourth act after crossing the bridge of human bodies in the whirlwind fin- ish of act third This popular play will be seen at the Grand opera house next Thursday, Friday and Saturday even ings and Saturday matinee at popular prices.
The daily morning journal and courier., 1897-01-18
BATTLES OF OUR NATION"
The Coming Big Attraction at the Sec
 ond Regiment Armory.


 ond Regiment Armory,
 The entertainment to be given on Friday and Saturday evenings and Saturday afternoon, o'clock, January p and 2S, will be one long remembered by all who attend. Conterno's band is we'll known as one of the leading bands of this country, The battles of our country shown include large number of the most memorable ones In our several wars and are reproduced with a vlvidness and realism that surpass anything of the kind in this country. Not only are the leading characters in each personated by actors selected specially for the faithful portrayal of the same, but the fine scenic effects from a background which blends with wonderful realism into the living pie lures.
 From those persons familiar with our country's history these pictures have elicited the greatest admiration and praise; from all they win the most hearty applause. The music accom- panying each picture is appropriate thereto and revives many dear old melodies famous in our country's life. In addition to this the musical selec- tions of the band are of an order to entertain the most critical musical au- diences.