Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1897-03-05
AN UNIQUE PETITION.
An Humble Hut DOwn.Trodden
Taxpayers Prayer to the Fu<iOn
legislature.

on, almighty law makers, We he
scech you ut this late hour for assist
ance by making laws so that we may
live, or be allowed to live. Before YOU
got III Office most OF You promised us
many good things to get in office, and
now we humblv bcsecch YOU to make
your words good, and draw light on
the poor taxpayers Of the State of
ashlngton, and to rid us of Il part of
the damnable Constitution of the
State, more particularly that part on
the salary question, and to release us
OF ut least one-half the Superior Judges
and cut the salary in two on the re-
naming half. Then to take two from
the five Oh the Supreme bench and cut
the salary of the other three below the
middle. Then We humbly bescech
thee to do away with the State DRINKS
or plcnics, commonly called the State
militia, and to make such laws as will
protect your citizens, then they will
protect you and the laws, so we will
need no State DRINKS and cloth houses
of lll-fame on the prairies of Stella
COON. Then we bcscech you in our
everyday prayers on the streets and
in the churches and in houses of all
kinds to deliver us from all evil, more
particularly described illegal warrants,
and bonds of all kinds, as thou well
knowest they were voted upon us
through and by fraud in the face of
the law. We then beseech thee to
punish the law-breakers and perjured
officers that committed the crime.
Then i'll humanity's sake we must
humbly beg to be released from the
second god, now the first, which is
the gold god, now the power of the
world, and the only worshiped god.
Then we humbly beseech you to de-
liver us from all such bugs as bond
bugs, gold bugs, silver bugs, land bugs
and office bugs. We further beseech
thee to deliver us from all dishonest
and fast reporters, in the shape of po-
liticians, or Would-bes." And then
we most humbly pray that you will
remove the capital to Limerick, Ire
land, SO that We will never hear of it
again, and then give the foundation to
Meeker of Puyallup to dry hops in, so
as to enable him to get rich or be eaten
up by hop-lice. We then beseech you
most humbly and particularly to re-
move the Olympia hotel out OF the
street, and stop giving away the pub
lie streets and roads and public do
main to corporations and broken down
capitalists; and we further pray that
you will remove the electric light
plant, the gas factory, street railway
and city water works, the Port Town
send Southern and Northern Pacific
railways, with all the bonded indebted
ness or debts of any kind, and return
us back to the good old days of Terri
torial times, of days gone by, so as to
enable us to live happily as we did
then. Oh, to the merciful fusionists
we pray both day and night for laws
that may make it possible for us to pay
taxes which we want to pay but can't
pay. oh, have mercy upon us, as you
all we'll know that capital is protected
in every way, as we'll as most of organ
lied labor unions, and we the morgan
lied labOrers and farmers and tax
payers have become the prey of all
classes, and don't let this go two years
longer, for that will contiscate all the
lives of hundreds and practically de-
moralize the State, and surely the fu-
sion party, and moreover the character
of every officer in the party, so that all
honest men will damn them to all
eternity, and perhaps Justly. Oh, good
fusionist or good devil, if you won't do
anything for the taxpayer, and are
bound to destroy and take all he has,
try and do something for yourselves
and feather your own nests, for you
will never see the State capital again,
for the roperendum bill is now passed
and awaits the signature of the Gov
ernor, and We fear it will catch you all.
And we furthermore beseech you not
to all talk at once, but stop and think
and do away with envy and prejudice,
and make laws to protect the poor,
and that will be good enough for the
rich; they need no protection. Then
you will tax all alike, and if bond is
worth 100 cents on the dollar, tax it
so, and if it is worth but ten cents,
then tax it for ten cents, and property
the same, for you can't make law to
protect one class unless Mt the expense
of some other. Then we can pay our
taxes; otherwise all hopes are blighted
and the wheels of progress will be
blocked for 20 long years. We partic-
ularly and humbly pray, oh good
statesmen, that we be allowed to pay
our taxes in property at the price your
agents or assessors have set it at, or that
you only take part and don't take
it all, so that we may be allowed to
live or exc out few more years of ex-
istence, then die in peace without
mortgage on our graves in the shape
of n bond, and to take us from bond
age by law as We are now. This we
humbly pray above all things, in the
name of the Constitution of the Unit
ed States, as We well know that we
can't get it under the Constitution of
the State of Washington. Amen.
A FUSIONIST.