The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1897-07-31

life.
"'what is the matter?" say you. 81 swan
it's hard to tell
Most of the years behind us we've passed
by very well!
have no other woman-she has no other
man
Only we've lived together as long as we
ever can.
So have talked with Betsey, and Betsey
has talked with me,
And so we've agreed together that we
can't never agree;
Not that we've catched each other in any
terrible crime;
We've been a-gathering this for years, q
little at a time.
There was stock of temper we both
had for a start, 4
Although we never suspected 'twould take
us two apart;
had my various failings. bred in the
flesh and bone;
And Betsey, like all good women, had q
temper of her own.
The first thing 1 remember wherein we
disagreed
Was something concerning heaven-a diff
ference in our creed;
We arg'ed the thing at breakfast, We
arg'ed the thing at tea
And the more we arg ed the question, th6
more we didn't agree.
And the next that 1 remember was when
we lost a COW;
She had kicked the bucket for certain
the question was only-How?
held my own opinion, and Betsey anoth.
er had;
And when we were done attacking. we
both of us was mad.
And the next that I remember, it started
in a joke;
But full for week it lasted, and nel-
Their of us spoke
And the next was when scolded because
she broke BOWL
And she said 1 was mean and stingy
and hadn't any soul.
And SO that bowl kept pouring dissensions
in our cup;
And so that blamed cow-creature was al
ways a-comin' up;
And so that heaven we arg'ed no nearer
to us got,
But it gave US taste of something a
thousand times as hot.
And so the thing kept workin and all
the self-same way;
Always somethin' to arg'e, and somethin'
sharp to say.
And down on US came the neighbors a
couple dozen strong,
And lent their kindest sarvice for to help
the thing along.
And there has been days together-and
many a weary week
We was both of us cross and spunky, and
both too proud to speak;
And l have been thinkin' and thinkin'
the whole of the winter and fall,
If / can't live kind with woman why,
then, won't at all.
And so I have talked with Betsey, and
Betsey has talked with me-
And we have agreed together that we
can't never agree;
And what is hers shall be hers, and what
is mine shall be mine;
And I'll put it in the agreement, and take
it to her to sign.
Write on the paper, lawyer-the very first
paragraph
OF all the farm and livestock that she
shall have her half;
For she has helped to earn it. through
many weary day.
And it's nothing more than justice that
Betsey has her pay.
Give her the house and homestead-a man
can thrive and roam;
But women are skeery critters unless
they have home;
And l have always determined, and never
failed to say,
That Betsey should never want a home
If l was taken away.
There is a little hard money that's draw
in tol'rlble pay;
A couple of hundred dollars laid by for a
rainy day;
Safe in the hands of good men, and easy
to get at;
Put in another clause there, and give her
half of that
Yes, see you smile, sir, at my givin' her
much:
Yes, divorce is cheap, sir, but take no
stock in such!
True and fair l married her, when she
was blithe and young;
And Betsey was arrays good to me, ex-
ceptin' with her tongue.
Once when I was as young as you, and
not so smart perhaps,
For me she mittened a lawyer and sew
eral othec chaps;
And all of them was f1ustered, and fairly
taken down,
And I for a time was counted the lucki-
est man in town.
Once when I had fever-I won't forget
it soon
was hot as basted turkey and crazy
as a loon;
Never an hour went by me when she was
out of sight
She nursed me true and tender, and stuck
to me day and night
And if ever house was tidy, and ever
a kitchen clean,
Her house and Kitchen was as tidy as
any / ever seen;