The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-02-07
LOVE, co URrsHIp, AND MaRRrAoE.
A Small Book That start. 90 Tell All
About These Three Events.

old. Undoubtedly thousands OF persons have
been helped by the book. ana undoubtedly
thousands more will be helped by II. The SUN
stands by now to help them.
The book Is written In the most sober earnest;
for that reason 1t is a JOY to read IL. The I'M
known author evidently feels the i'm portance OF
the subjec. whereof he writes and approaches
II gravely. yet not with the solemnity OF n
funeral. ms he says In one Of his remarks.
Listen to him. In his introductory" he says:
Although mn,rimory has been termed the
great lottery OF life, there are prizes for those
who willingly aud undcrstandingly set about
seeking n heipmate. To all such we say learn
we'll the lessons here impaired, and your lives
will be full Of happiness and each successive
day will be crowned with roscate hue
That promises a good deal for n "5.cent book;
but he proceeds to make his promise good.
"PrUdury and Irritation are both equally cul-
pable. but between these two extremes there is
= happy medium. The origin OF prudcry is
generally found In n narrow. selfish, aud jcal-
Gus heart. But while prUdcry can never be
sanctioned by reasonable persons. IT Is equally
certain that no qn,ar,er can be given TO the
- Flat,ery is a powerful wcapon In the art OF
making love. Never lived there yet man or
woman but what in some way or other could be
fattered. The great point 81 to know In what
way TO use It. There is u time and u place I" use
It. \ young lady will feel %iiatterrl II YOU get u
CllhINt, 1uuNk u ~ lttA lN Z hNfu wv
good qualities uf her daughter: never fear but
The dauvhter viii hear of IT, for women cannot
There is something romantic and beautiful
In applying what 4. ordinarily. termed pet
names to interested parties. \ lady who Is
named Mary. for instance. can be called, Mollie;
Anna can be called Mamie. Matte for Martha,
Gallie for Caroline, Hattie Tor Harriet, 49,; IN.
thought brought to bear on u young lady's mind
thus named BY her lover"
young ladies' very often exercise n good deal
OF tact in trying n young mans love. They viii
act different from what The real feelings OF their
pluck. IL must so call IL. Young men. don't
weary IN well doing; YOU know that faint heart
stress upon any little remark n young lady may
make. FOR she, often means directly the reverse,
especially II she Is very young
Now tho grammar here may not come up to
Lindley Nlurray's standard. but the ideas would
meet with the appreciation even OF Sir Hubert
This Unknown author is evidently n very wise
manor womani most OF the time the author
nal fefnininity crops out IN the book. Now here
the man speaks:
about ladies or u certain lady. and the conse-
quencc is the ladies have their own fun laugh
log az them Nsvcr make yourself " 1901 Tor "hy
Just as certain rs you make yourself appear
uneasy about n lady. she is going 10 lead you -
high game. bnt show her you can he careless
and uncorccrned, and she H. certain 10 become n
littl. softer. Avail you rsclf OF every oppnrtu-
nifty 10 nay attention TO the warts Of the ladies:
always study what KIND OF cOmpAny ypl are In.
ana act accordingly. being gAN Ani lNFlY Win
those " ho are OF that turn uf mind. and mose
steady aud commonplace with those who Ike
sound reasoning; Always anLesr neat ami tasty.
without LRuHhtiness or stiffness Of manners,
and you may rest assured you will always find
fa.or with the ladlcs.
Ii Is too often the case that Young men
Amuse thcm-elves by PLAYING with the feelings
OF Young ladies. They visit them often. they
walk with them. pay thrm divers attentions.
and after giving them A. idea that they are at
tach-d TO them thew either leave them or. what
i worse. never come to an explanation nf their
. sgutln euts. This IL nothing less man acting the
scunrdrel; II IL truly dastardly. Infamous. This
has been the cause ~ many a young an! warm
hearted girl pining away by Inches, to MI "A
""Wcong' which il sometimes conroundcd
with ~courtlng. goes before conriship. as shrprrS
and III hers before an advancing army. lti,tho
John the BAPTIST OF thu kingdom NJ love. which
delirions sndesrmrnts that follow In the career
OF courtship. 1t IL one uf lie oldest and tender
est words IN the history oflovc:.
Embracing Is vuignrly called hucg.ng or
squeezing. and is an operation OF enisarment
alone by the side 81 each o,her. \ seat nnder
II tree that grows on the banks of "a limpid
murmGring u The waters. and looking a, their
own forms gracefully mtrrnrcd beneath them,
l. n situation in which the arms unconsciously
draw the Welding bodies into closer proximity
than Is absolutely necessary for the ordinary
After several pages of information about
choosing n wife "a nose that il thick and broad
about midway and rather short Indicate habits
81 economy n good thing Ia observe in a ie.
male" - the author changes sex for the time,
and remark: ~
any reasonable measures TO induce her beau "a
make his PROPOSAL when he Is either backward,
~ In making love 20 n widow you have nothing
to do hut to answer her questions and return her
carrsscs. In making love TO- a widow. then. you
must first be sure you want he- !or u wife, as II
viii not he safe TO trust yourself within the pa'C
Of Ter Influence II You expect ever to get or
heart whole. ~. viii certainly catch you In hci
tolls. II she pleases. she, - course, don't give
you much chance 10 exhibit thuse romantic
nrpnsan f nttAFHFpart yl.Th gpunV girls Ie llVli
In. but will discuss the marriage ceremony And
plans for the. future win the same coolne-'
furniture aud household goods. Considering al
, her peculiarities. the cour,-hip Of n widow IL
mere formal matter Of business. Any man will
! sufficient nerve tn use his own Judgment In th'
> purchase 81 a horse may court a widow with
out trouble and without advice.
"Therc are certain Young. men in the worl,
, who make love 10 every on. they meet. whethc
} maid. yopnr ieies, never think o. m,,in!
such n fellow; he will become tired of you II
! less than three months sitter marriage.
, Again. there are young ladies to be foun'
who try To make every youne man they NEE
!, fall In love with them; 50 as to have the fun 2
1 will be ~engulted In misery"
( again ana gives twenty ways Of popping III
: question" Her, Gre two OF the w"ys, with
'seniment" to follow:
: viii you tell me whit / most wish L
: IVES, II | can"
Another saws; My Eli2a. we must do wha
all the world evidently expects We shall
y 80 All the world "a very Impairment
. "I know Il, tut IL can't DO he. ped. Whe
( shall | tell the parson to be ready .
I As q general rule n gentleman need never h
= refused. Every woman, except a h%eartless CO
quette. can easily discourage a man that sh
does not intend TO marry before matters com
i 10 the point Of n declaration. IL IA yeIy tru
that some men are wotullY blinded In this thin
Q OF lovc.making. and do not get their eyes oDe
. until they are 'kiCked.'"
d The lover, having now secured his position
should take care that hit visits are not too IF,
n quent. 50 Rs to he iuCoGv cnicnt tothe family. III
o should accommodate himself to the hours mo-
$ agreeable to their wishes. and should, mOr'
y over. ever be ready and attentive tothc -lighte'
u desire ~ the lady or her parents. Attention an
q politeneSs 10 the lady's mother are very nCce
sRry. and will Couciliatetn him many advantage
y In his present position. lie must not prcsGm
n TO take his stand. thus urrmatureiy. Rs n men
J. her Ot the family nor Hilcrt that exceeding i
"a timacy which leads 30 such painful result
n should any termination or disruption Of IL
engagement. from some unexpected cause, tai
d place. His conduct should he such a. gradual
.. to win 10 himself the affect on OF all the famil
. and to make them welcome and desire his PIE
u enCe, rather than regard him As an intruder"