, 1897-11-01
HIS SHARE OF THE FUN.

with another customer, says the Wash
ington Star.
Got any rice?" he asked, when the
grocer got around to him.
Yes"
rs it good. solid rice?"
"As good as grows"
We'll, gimme a couple OF pounds"
Its remarkable" the merchant said,
as he adjusted the scales, ''1hat this grain
is not more freely used in this country.
It is palatable and nutricious, and ought
to take rank among the leading articles
Of diet"
Did you think l wanted to eat that
rice?"
"Of course"
We'll. l don't. There's going to be
a wedding at our house"
"Ah, l see. It's an old custom and a
pretty one. Who is to be married."
MY daughter and a young man who
has been hanging around the house.
against my wishes, for years. 1 don't
VAIN Sou u lIidS+hS " on instant tuaI
this is any joyous occasion for me-"
why didn't you tell him to keep
away"
MY daughter and ner mother would
Mt let me. They both think he is the
finest specimen that ever grew. He new
er does any work worth mentioning, "
ing to the fact that his people have a lit
lie money. He wears cross-bar shirts
and white collars boGh at once. But he
proposed to my daughter, and she and
her mother accepted him, and there's
10 shake hands with him and do what
I'm tod while the ceremony is going on.
They'll both Of Them have ,heir eyes on
me every minute OF the time. You see
my wife owns the house and all the
furniture. II l had it 10 do over again
| don't know as I'd marry for riches. I
suppose I'll have to call him my SON
and pour honeyed e into his
ears" And then he added Erimly, But
actions speak louder than words"
You mean to throw this rice just as a
conventional compliment, then. Your
heart won't be in it at all?" asked the
grocer. sympathetically.
Yes. it WILL" was the emphatic re-
joinder. There is nothing in which /
could feel more enthusiasm. That's a
nice, neat package you've made" he
went on. as he picked it UP. Nov, I'm
not going to litter the sidewalk up and
make trouble for the servant. Just as
the bride and groom start for the car
riage I'm going to throw this rice. I'm
going to throw 1t just as 1t Is, paper,
string and all, and il it hits him behind
the ear and makes him dizzy, they'll
have to set 1t down to my not knowing
any better. That's the only fun I ex-
pect to get out OF the entire wedding"
RUNNING A NEWSPAPER.
Jim Jones, he vas an editor; that Is. he
tried to be-;
He bought himself a hand press, an he
started in to see
Jes' what there was to ed1tia', but when
he'd canvassed round,
Some fifteen hundred editors in that
same town he found.
They all knew more about II than Jones
could hope to know;
They told him: You must run her, |
Jones. les so an so!
Be sure a n boom the Baptists, they're
bound to help you out,
An give the good old Methodists a big
salvation shout!
Give every man a notice; be sure an
put it down
Major links is seer to peram-
lbula;e the town;
Put in a few free locals for all the stores,
an give
Bach man a free subscription, if you
want 0 u sheet to live!"
Well, Jones, he done jes' as they said,
for fear they'd make a row:
But the more he tried to please 'em all,
the more they told him how!
Until at last he look his book am laid I,
on the shelf;
Then run the paper in the ground an
follered it himself.
Atlantic Constitution.
Old papers 25 cents per 100 at The