davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
WHY | DID NOT GO.


When | heard how tons and tons OF
gold were dug out OF the
ground
How the Klondike country teemed
with wealth for miles and
miles around:
When | heard how men who went
there poor came back with
loads of pelf,
Then ! got the mining fever, and l
said unto myself
Sell every stock and bond. Ike.
The Chillkat pass beyond, Ike.
There lies the golden Klondike;
That's where you ought 10 go.
But my friends all said twas fool.
ishness To go so far away.
And that If | ever reached the place
I'd find il did not pay.
They said the climate was too cold,
the journey much too long.
And they all Chimed i'm together.
and they sang To me this song:
OF wealth you're far too fond,
Ike.
You surely will get con'd Ike,
If ever you go To Klondike.
You'd better stay at home
Isaac Anderson in New York
Journal.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
IS THIS THE WAY JAPAN AND HAWAII WILL ARBITRATE?
A FABLE FOR TODAY.

a shark once invited on old mack
erel to cali at his house. I'VE have
nice little game of dollar limit up
there nearly every night" he said.
Some of the best people i'm town
drop I'm occasionally. \ number Of
very nice suckers are there regu-
larly. Drop i'm any time. Bring a
few dollars with you, and you will
enjoy yourself. May | expect you ,"
"Well, hardly" said the wise old
mackerel II have noticed that the
suckers who visit your place go
there i'm carriages, but they all walk
away, and many do not wear so
fine clothes on departing as they did
when they arrived"
Moral.-You can stay in the game
longer if you save cab hire by walk
ing.-New York Truth
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
AN IMpOSsIRLE TEIp.

WallaCe-What do you think Of
the projects for going to the Klon-
dixie i'm balloons?
Ferry They viii none Of them
work All the wind is headed this
way. At least. UP there is where
all the blowing comes from. Gin
Cinnati Enquirer.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
THE WAY OF THE ASSESSOR is HARD
DEEINING TT

81 think | understand what your
Democrats and Republicans are get
ting at" said the foreign statesman
on visit. but what is the ele-
mental principle Of Muewumpery?
''As near as | have been able to
determine" replied the student of
political science, "a Mugwump be-
lieves that whatever is is wrong. -
Detroit News.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

BALLAD OF YE SUMMER GIRL.
i went 10 a summer resort for a
stay
And found that the price was three
dollars a day.
J staid for a week. and OF fun had
my fill.
But forty-two dollars was asked in
my bill.
"How's this?" inquired OF the
clerk Don't you see
My bill is just double the price il
should be?"
"My dear sir" he answered. "our
charges are right;
Three dollars a day doesn't count in
the night"
New York Journal.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
HANDICAPPED.

"That man." remarked an admir-
ing friend. has the faculty of say
ing clearly i'm a few words what
others would require pages to ex-
press"
Too bad" said Senator Sor-
ghum. Hell never get along i'm
politics. not unless he learns to fill
buster better than that. Wash
ington Evening Star.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
co LONG CHILE,

Say yo' lax { marry me.
Dat Use got de style,
An am sweet as sweet kin
Go long, go long, chile!
Doan' yo' be a-talkin so.
Yo's a-foolin me, | know.
Dis hyar niggah ain't so slow.
Go long, go long, chile!
Say Wen hab a brownstone front?
Dat yer meks me smile.
Meks dis niggah sorter grunt.
Go long, go long, chile!
Brownstone front yo's t'inkin
bout
5 jus a cave yo's holler'd out
Down de quarry frontin sout!
Go long, go long, chile!
Say dat yo' has got some money
Comm aftah while?
Say yo' wants me for yo' honey?
Go long, go long, chile,
Dat ole ships a-gwine t sink,
She'm gwine L sink an spill de
chink;
CANT fool dis niggah, needn't
t'ink-
Go long, go long, chile!
Den yo's in lub wild LiZer Jane
| knoW'd il all de while.
No' said she's sweet as sugah cane.
Go long, go long, chile,
She tole me SO dis aftahnoon
So yo' jus mosey mighty soon
An quit yo're trifin wild dis coon.
Now 20 long, go long, chile!
James Courtney Challis in New
York Truth.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
TIE DEAN WAS DEAF.

one day, at the late dean of Ely's
table. a legal gentleman was Ia
menting the gaps which death had
recently made in his profession.
I'VE have lost" he said solemn
~, mot less than six eminent law
yers i'm as many months"
The dean, who was quite deaf at
once rose and repeated grace, For
this and all his mercies," etc.-Tit-
Bitsl
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
ONE ON DIR. JOHNSON.
New York Herald.

The following anecdote is CAREFUL
~ preserved by a family whose
Scotch ancestors took a rise out Of
the great photographer:
Hostess-Dr. Johnson, what do
you think of our Scotch broth?
DR.. Johnson-Madam, in my opin-
ion it's only fit for pigs.
Hostess-Then have some more
ArgOnaut.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

PROFESSIONAL PLEASANTLY.
First Soubrette Con a Rialto cor
ner)-What are you doing now,
Flossy?
Second Soubrette accompanied by
Teddy Thoughtless)- Nothing.
First Soubrette (glancing at Ted
dy)-Is that him New York Jour
nal.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
azaaaGasa
lI'II4 |B|I|U|HIH,''v'''I
HARD TO PART WITH.

Up to Date.

The two young persons were look
ing i'm moody silence out over the
waves when Mr.. Blunderheels hap
pened upon them.
"Ah!" he said. pleasantly. Low
ers' quarrel, is it?"
Sir" exclaimed the young wo-
man i'm great wrath. How dare
you"
All" rejoined Mr. Blunderheels,
strolling complacently on. Then
YOU are not quarreling. So glad. -
Chicago Tribune.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
HANG THE SUPREME COURT!

In case I'm a rural justice court
i'm Georgia the justice was informed
that the supreme court had decided
q similar case i'm a certain way.
The justice replied: Hang the sur.
preme court, IN reverse its decil
sion and decide it as / want to-
Atlanta Constitution.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
THE PLURAL.

Boarding School Teacher-And
now. Edith, tell me the plural of
baby.
Edith (promptly) - Twins Tit
Bits.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
NOT ON THE STONE.

loving Hackensack nephew,
charged with the duty OF preparing
an epitaph for q disaGreeable old
uncle JUST dead. suggested the fol-
lowing: Deeply regretted by all
who never knew him. New York
Tribune.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
ETIIEL,S RETORT.

Mamma-Oh. Ethel. YOU never
saw me behave like that.
Ethel (aged D-Well, | hasn't
knowed you so very long. Tew
York Truth.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
COMPENSATION.

"Sedgeley's marriage wasn't
happy one. was it?"
"Well, that depends on the point
of view
The point of view?"
yes, the neighbors had no end Of
fun out of it."-Detroit News.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

THE WAY TO RECKON 1T.
Ned-How much do you think
that fishermans story was eXagger-
ated?
Ted-IIow much was there left i'm
his flask New York Journal.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

IN SUNDAY SCHOOL.
Clergyman-St. Paul made one cr-
rOr, my dear children.
Juvenile-Didi 1t let in run?-New
York Truth.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
A CoLoRED ECoNoMIsT.

John" said Georgia farmer to
one OF his colored feldhands. you
ought TO be laying up something
now. / pay you so cents a day"
Yes. sub"
Well. how much do you save out
OF it?"
"Forty-five cents. sub"
rs that all?"
Good God. Marse Tom. | got to
live on de nceI'-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
THE VANISHING POINT.

suppose suggested the teacher.
that YOU take piece OF beefsteak
and cut it into halves, then cut the
halves into quarters, the quarters
into eighths and the eighths into
siXteenths, into what could the six
teenths be- cut2'
Hash, " responded Tommy, whose
mother kept a boarding house.
And the class i'm fractions was dis
missed. .-Tit-B Bits.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

SEASHORE ATTACHMENTS.
Most lasting of attachments
That the great resorts afford
Arc those where trunks are taken
For the gay resorter's board
Detroit News.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04
FATE FOOLED by A FAT MAN:

The youth was heavy, and he weigh
ed the boat way down.
still neither had the slightest fear
there was a chance TO drown.
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

But, OH. It could not stand the
weight! The boat succumbed at
last
And to, their horror they perceived
that they were sinking fast,
The Providence news. (Providence [R.I.]) 1891-1906, 1897-09-04

Lunatic (suddenly po7 his
head over the walD: What are you
doing there
Brown: Fishing"
Lunatic: Caught anything?'
Brown: mo"
Lunatic: How long have you
been there?'
Brown: six hours"
Lunatic: Come insidel"
Punch.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Death Of Judge Staples.

Ex-Judge Waller R. Staples, OF Mont
gomery county, died at his home on FRIDAY
last, at an advanced age. His death was
caused by general breaking down of physi.
cal system. The death of Judge Staples
Will be heard with sorrow by our people by
whom he was well known, having SPOKEN
here in many campaigns in the adyooaev of
the Democratic party.
Judge Staples was elevated to the Supreme
court OF Virginia in April of 1870. continu-
ing in that judicial Office for 10 wears. until
displaced by the advent of readjuster's
pench IN 1883. Probably his most notable
act during his long term on the Supreme
bench was the rendering of the opinion in
Inc celebrated coupon cases, in 1878. which
LED to the formation Of the Readiuster mar.
ty IN Virginia. The opinion was afterwards
adopted by the courts of Virginia and of the
United States. He was several times nress.
"a TO become candidate for the governor
ship, but refused.
frlor as well as subsequent to his acces.
SION to the Supreme Court bench Judge
staples was regarded as one of the most able
and distinguished lawyers at the Virginia
par AS jurist he was considered the peer
u any contemporary. During the latter
7ears OF his life he figured but little in pub |
ic il1e, devoting his time to close applica-
Ion to his professional business. He moved |
'niy among his most intimate acquaintance
md was very reserved. Judge Staples was
lever married.
Inc remains of Judge Staples were bur-
ed at Roanoke on Saturday. He left an
state estimated at $3.50, 900.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

Mr.. VIM. A. Arbogast, who lives nea
Montery, was dragging large log to hi
mill-dam last Thursday, when his team raj
away hauling the log across his leg crushing
the bones to pieces and mangling the flesh
Drs. Deer and Trimbled were summoned
and amputated the limb.
Mrs. Eliza J. Koogler, who tor number
OF years has made her home with her daugh-
ter, Mrs. Chas. G. Cross, and who for a
long time has been in extremely delicate
health, has been very low the past week.
On Monday and Tuesday the family gave
up all hopes of her ever being any better,
but she rallied very much and is nov SEEM
lngly as strong as usual.
MIR. John Whitelaw has gone to Baltimore
and will be absent several days.
Miss Cora Sipe left Wednesday for Har-
rlsonburg, where she will spend some time
with relatives.
Mrs. DIR. l. Il. Trimble and daughter.
Miss Maude, enjoy the distinction of being
the hrsf lady cyclists of the county. Thew
are learning rapidly under the direction of
Miss Fannie Zirkle.
MISS Della Crummett OF Deerfeld, who
las peen visiting her brothef, S. W. Crum. |
nett Oh Monterey, has gone to Mcdowell |
o visit friends.
capt. j. q. MathenY and daughter, Miss
Emma, started Tuesday on a two weeks
rip to Botetourt county. where they have
elatives.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
call for Capt. Il. w. Holt.

A call signed by about one hundred citi
zens OF Staunton. has been made and publish
cd in lour issue of to day requestin,
Capt. Henry W. Holt to announce himsel
as candidate for the State Senate from this
district. The paper is signed in every in.
stance by men who know the eminent fit
ness Of Capt. Holt for the position. They
know Of his high stand at the bar, his un.
swerving integrity, his high moral character,
his ability, his interest in all matters of
public importance, his devotion to principle
and to party. Capt. Holt was born in Surry
county. Virginia. is graduate of the Vir-
GINA Military Institute, located in Staunton
about eight years ago, and has since prac-
tlced his profession here. He married Miss
Mary Braxton. sister of Mr.. A. q. Bro xton,
so we'll and fayorably known in this COM
muhity. He has always taken a leading
part in matters pertaining to the city. He re-
organized the West Augusta Guard and for
some years was captain. He is one Of the
Commissioners Of the Circuit Court and has
filled the position with great acceptibility
to the court and bar. Last fall he stumped
the county for Bryan and his speeches were
amongst the ablest delivered. His father |
is DR.. NJ. Q. Holt, of Surry for several terms |
4 member of the Virginia Senate, and one of |
he most prominent men in his section of |
he State. The election of Capt. Holt would
insure conscientious faithful and efficient
of duty.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
The Old Fort Seminary

Inc catalogue of the Old Fort Seminary
Is before US, and glance at its pages. dis
closes that during the last session there were
IN attendance 81 scholars. The school.
winch has at its head Mrs. Nina r. Beard
lady OF accomplishments and executive
ability, has been remarkably successful
IL is ltuated near the B. G. O. railway sta
ton at Ft. Defiance, in easy reach by rail or
telegraph. only eight miles from Staunton.
and in one of the most healthful and pictur-
esque portions of the Valley of Virginia.
The surroundings are peculiarly pleasant
and attractive, and the neighborhood is fill.
ed with the homes Of the most enlightened
and refined of Virginia people A compe-
tent corps OF teachers have been EMPLOYED
and children sent hither will, in addition to
their mental training, receive the kindest
care and attention. The stringencv of the
tunes has caused Mrs. Beard to place board
ana tuition at the lowest possible figure
consistent with thorough training, comfort
and bountiful table. Persons sendirg
children to this school will find them care
Iully attended and thoroughly taught.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
VIII EAT.

wheat has advanced very rapidly and at
this writing is quoted at 81 10 in New York
and at 81 here. We have all along advised
our readers to hold for S1.OO. 1t has reach
ed that mark and this being fair value for
1t, we make no further predictions, and
leave our readers to use their Judgment
about holding further. We have had the
satisfaction of knowing that many of our
readers took our advise and held, who were
about to sell at low figures. In one instance
patron OF our paper told US he believed
ne had made one hundred dollars, by read.
ing our statements about the chances for
rise. Seeing how scarce it is in other DOR.
tons OF the world wheat may yet advance.
but after it passes one dollar it has so much
OF speculation about it that we must decline
further advice on the subject.
Since the above was in type wheat ha
taken drop, to-day it is only quoted at 90
cts here. This was natural when the dol
lar mark was reached, such heavy unload
Ing took place as to cause this slump. IT
may remain lower for some time, but there
Will be no great slump, as foreign demand
IS certainly very great.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
StonewalI Rand.

Popular rate excursion from Covington
and intermediate stations to Richmond Ia
Dor Day, Monday, Sept. 6. Special train via
the Z. d 0. Ry. Leave Covington 2.12 a. m
800; Millboro 4.25 a. m. 1925: Staunton
500 a. m. $500; Basic 6.34 a. m. s1.75. Ar
rive Richmond 1925 a. m. Returning
ieaVe richmond IL p. m. same day. Sepa-
rate coaches or white and coloreG people
A holiday in Richmond; base ball-Atlan.
TIC league teams, Norfolk VS.. Richmond.
games, morning and afternoon. Stonewall
band concerts at both games. This excur.
sion Affords an excellent opportunity TO WIS.,
1t Richmond, the most attractive CITY in tha
South, and the date occurs at the most do.
igntful season of the year. No other citv
IN the United States is so rich in colonial
and national memories, and none has more
guarded it's relics
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Death Of Mrs. Eva MAYO.

Mrs. Eva Smith Mayo. daughter OF the
late K, W. Smith of this city, died here on
Thursday afternoon last of consumption,
She was the wife of Prof. j. W. Mayo. of
the Utah State University, and had resided
there until recently when her health failed
and she returned to Staunton with her hus.
band and children. Mrs. Mayo was an at
tractlVe and popular lady and will be much
missed by her large circle of friends here
ohe is survived by her husband and two
small children, three brothers and two sis.
tiers. Her funeral took place of Friday af-
ternoon from the residence of her brother
Mr.. .. E. Smith, on West Main street. and
was conducted by Rev. F. j. Prettyman of
the Methodist church, assisted by Rev. W.
Y. Hullihen, Rector of Trinity church. Tho
IN was in Thornrose cemetery. The
Following gentlemen acted as pail bearers
A. Gibbs. Jas. H. Powell. W. r
Hyer, W. Mod. McCue, Thos. w Akin.
son and Frank Weade,
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

A six-yaar-old son of Mr.. j. G. Staples O.
Harrisonhurg. was, on Monday, kicked il
the head by horse. from which injury the
| little fellow died in a few hours.
Democrats throughout the county are res.
pectfully notified that District meetings
will be held on Sept. 4, to elect delegates to
convention to be held in Staunton on Sept.
18th, which conve ntion will name the can
didates for the State Senate and House of
Representatives.
The Jas. Clark Distilling Co. will close
out here and remove to Washington about
the 10th OF Sept. Their place of business
Will be in Pennsylvania Avenue, where
they have leased quarters. Capt. McQuaide
Will travel for the honse and Mr.. Ashby
woodward, the present book-keeper, will
remove to Washington and continue with
the house.
Mr.. L. L. Watson, of Goshen, Va. died at
his home Friday night. He has been COM
of the revenue in Walkers Creek
District since 1875. He was sixty-two wears
Oh age, and leaves wife and several grown
he lost leg at the battle of Hatcher's !
Run few days before the surrender. and
was member of the Twenty-eighth Virgin
a Regiment.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Observation-Disclosures.

Mr.. +. NJ. Meriken and Miss Vera Wilkin.
son were married in Washington, d. G., on
Thursday last, Rev. Lewis Wood of Epiph-
any church officiating, the ceremony being
performed in that church. Mr.. Meriken is
a we'll known young business men of Staun-
ton, and one of the justices of the city. Miss
wilkinson is the only daughter of MI. o. W.
Wilkinson, an English gentleman who died
mere some months ago. She has been living
since her fathers death with her mother in
this city. The marriage having occurred in
washington might lead to the belief that it
was runaway match, which is by no means
the case. 1t took place with the full con-
sent OF the young ladies parent and guardi-
an. and with the full knowledge and con-
sent OF all on the side of the groom.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
ATTENTION DEMOCRATS.
A Call for Primaries Issued by the County
Committee.

A Call for Primaries Issued by the Count
/ Committee.
10 the Democrats Of augusta county and city o
| Stanton
at meeting of the County Democratic
Committee, held in Staunton on Monday
Aug. %, it was unanimously resolved tina
district meetings in Augusta county and ware
meetings in the city of Staunton be held Sat
urday, Sept. 4, for the purpose of electinf
| delegates to convention to be held at Il
o'clock on Saturday, Sept. II, at the court
house IN Staunton for the purpose of nomi.
mating candidate for senator and two can
dldates for members Of the house of delegates
for said county and city in the next General
Assembly.
IL was further resolved that the basis of
representation will be one delegate and one
alternate for every fifty democratic voters and
fractions thereof. not less than %, cast in the
presidential election of 1896; that is to say,
Beverly Manor district 10 delegates, Pastures
district delegates, North River district del
egates, Middle River district 10 delegates,
Rlverheads district II delegates, South River
district ID delegates, Staunton-1st ward del
egates, I'd ward delegates,
district meetings will be held at p. m. on
the said date, viz: Saturday, Sept. 4, at the
Following places River district, Mt |
SCION; Pastures, Buffalo Gap; Beverly Man
Dr. Court house; South River, Waynesboro;
klYerheads, Middlebrook Middle River, New |
Hope.
Ward meetings in Staunton will be held at |
p. NJ, same date, at the following places.
Ward No. l, Court house; Ward No. 2, Police
,ourt Office.
w. T. McCUE. Chairman.
JOHN T. HARTMAN, Secretary.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Julius Loeb of A. Loen & 10 is now on

Julius Loeb, of A. Loeb & Co., is now O
a trip to the Northern cities purchasin
their fall and winter supply of clothing.
Prof. NJ. Linden of Mt. Crawford, pai
US pleasant call on Monday, whilst al
tending the court
MI. G. L. Weller is off for trip to New
York, Philadelphia and possibly Atlantic
City.
Mrs. Nina Beard. of Fort Defiance, &C
companied by Miss Mary Turk, of Moffett'.
Greek, was in the city Monday.
Col. Carter M. Braxton and daughter
MISS Josephine. of Newport News, and Mr.
Dwight G. Smith and brother of Washing.
ton, are at Augusta Springs, the guests Of
Mrs. Patteson.
| Cards are out announcing the marriage of
Miss Anna King McKemy and Mr.. Edgar
Dawson, on Tuesday evening. August 81, at
Z o'clock. at "Hopewell," the home of DR..
VIM. McKemy, near SpottsWood.
Mr.. VIM. F. Croft, who has been troubled
by the swelling and discoloration of an in
jured knee joint, has gone to Johns Hopkins
Hospital for treatment.
Mr.. Jno. Ellyson, of Waynesboro, was
about the first to bring bid OF one dollar
for wheat to Staunton Monday, which caus-
ed VIM. Shields to hello, "Hurrah for Nc
Kinley"
A little boy named Koogler, whose home
is near Staunton, was brought to the Kings
daughters Hospital last week terribly
burned on the neck and breast. He is being
attended by Dr. j. B. Catlett.
DR.. Ben. BIackford and his two sons,
Thomas and Charles, visited the Doctors |
birthplace at the old Blackford furnace in |
Page county last week, and enjoyed de- |
llghtful day. The father recalled many |
places of youthful enjoyment and drank
from the spring. whose limpid waters had |
always left the memory Of lingering sweet
ness.
A friend at Sangersville writes that the
fresh air children from the cities have all
zone and the people of the neighborhood are
dad to have them gone.
de also states that very singular occur
ence took place on the old VIM Beard farm
ear there. A large pond never known to
70 dry before, some time since was made {
ny by the sinking of the bottom, which was {
ccompanied with loud noise. Fish and l
lrGleS IN abundance were left high and dry, S
nd there is no probability of the pond fill
lg again as there is large hole in the bot +
IN. It