The morning times., 1897-01-24

chronic diSpoSition OF some of the nlenl-
hcrs TO be oracles There is the oracle Oh
the restaurant, the reading room, the IL
hrav. the billiard ROOM the drawing room
and even the barber shop. The gourmand-
fn-chier is q terror 10 the chef The slight
est falling off III the cuisine OF the service
is almost certain To produce record III the
complaint book, calling the attention of the
house committee To his grievance. He un-
packs bis wrath on the head of the meek
waiter, but is cbary OF abusing the chef
I'm his Kitchen The reading room oracle
sits always in judgment upon the reading
matter IN the magazines, and is nothing
II not critical about the editorials IN sle
daily papers He devours ali the Sunday
papers and bewails their sensatlonallsn'
while secretly eloating over the scandals
and gossip The library oracle is generally
3 bear in moroseness, and when buried
I'm a book IN the most comfortable chair
In the room resents the very presence OF
ANYBODY else The billiard room oracle is
a Alcrdecai in the gate Of all the pool
players His very presence is eXasperatlng-
He is seldom invited to play, but is always
on hand with running commentary of re
marks on the game. The barber shop oracle
is the wretch who bores everybody with
his conversation with the barber, with
whom he is on fourteenth amendment
terms Of intimacy. while being shaved, and
never gave tip to any one there.
The cad nit par excellence. however,
is the fellow who stares strangers out OF
countenance, wants toknow all about them,
IS always scanning the guest-bOok and the
bulletin board for evidence upon which to
kick against the admission OF visitors
or candidates for membership. Having
gotten in himself in former days, when the
club would have let in most anybody not
quite disreputable, he has gradually as
sumed the role of club censor, and is al
ways loud and long winded on the creden-
tials and suitableneSs of candidates and
visitors. II You take the trouble to dig him
up. you will probably find him originally
a nobody. with an humble and perhaps
hazy record. His sole claim to rcSpecta
Eility is that re is member of this club.
Outside Of it. in the social and busincs.
world he does not amount to a hill OF
beans. To see him strutting ana swagger
ing around of an evening in full dress
the innocent guests might take him for a
least Cabinet minister or an ambassador
but the discerning members have long since
sized him up for a scrub nit" and ever
the new bclboyS, sitting as 4 court on thei
bench. have long since found him out to b,
maSquerading as a cheap swell, familiar
and cringing TO his letters. arrogant an;
authoritative TO the employees. Some day
ne will make rich marriage, and then al
the men who have snubbcd him for year
will suddenly find out that he is not ba'
Sort Of chap. if he is such pretentious ass
Then again, notice that some OF on
members are firmly convinced that mar
never reaches the highest ate OF re
gpectahility until he becomes a member
They think that those who are not mem
bers are all well enough in their way, but
that they Ike the distinction conferred by
membership. SO thoroughly are they o
the opinion that they are lifted up and se
apart from their fellow men that they lool
down upon the whole outside world a
their interiors in every respect This fatU
Gus self-suffIciency is intensely amusing
TO the man who could join all the club
In town if he prefers TO, but who prefer
his home his friends in society. to tn
enforced association with and propinQuit
OF a lot of men who do not interest hiI
fn the least and whose daily society woul
bore him to death, however swell the
might be considered by their own littl
mutual admiration society. Hence it il
then, that too much club life tends I
narrow rather than broaden human syn
pathies, TO make men hypercHtical an
impatient, selfish and oracular The clut
however select. is. after all, not the motiv
power Of society any more than Mrs.
FUnrTEs' afternoon tea