The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-02-14
THE MUTABLE rIANY
BY ROBERT BARR.

wouldn't give week in Brighton for
a day in Eastbourne, although I-should
hate to be condemned 10 either, for
that matter. London is the only town
that's eactly my size. don't you know "
Then why do you stop at East
bourne?'
"Ah, now you come to the point;
now you place your finger right on the
spot. Why, indeed? Can't you guess
can tell in a moment why you are
here
"why?' asked Marsten, in some
alarm.
oh. simply because some fool of a
doctor, who didn't know any better,
sent you down. You're here for the
air, my boy; you don't come for the
society, so it must be the air-that's
the only other thing Eastbourne's got
You were told il would brace you up
in week. and it will if your reason
holds out for so long. I'd be a mailman,
sane as 1 am, if I were compelled TO
live in this place a fortnight; l would,
on my honori No, you don't catch me
in Eastbourne for either air or the
society, and yet, in a way, it is the
society, too, only it doesn't seem to
come off; and here L am stranded,
don't you know, with a coachman and
a groom, not to mention a valet, two
horses, and one of the smartest carts
that ever left London. That's my turn
out, there. 1 drive tandem, of course;
it's the only Christian way to drive.
Not that 1 care about the style of it
/ hope I'm above all that sort of thing
and I'm not to be blamed because
so many other fellows do il, don't you
| know; l love a tandem for itself alone.
Ever drive tandem?"'
Il never did," said Marsten, looking
at Barney'S handsome equippage, which
was being slowly driven up and down
. taA i
noticed it before, but now he gazed at
it with renewed interest, as Barney
modestly proclaimed himself the owner.
I We'll, ii isn't as easy as it looks.
It's not every fool can drive a tandem,
although l am said to be one of the
first tandem drivers in London, don I
you know. 1 don't say So of course
! but there are those who do, and they
| are judges, too. But it's no fun driving
about alone; to enjoy tandem driving
you need to have a pretty girl beside
you"
And are there no pretty girls in
| East bourne2'
There are. my boy, and that's just
| what l want to talk to you about.
Let's sit down here in this shelter, be-
cause [ want your whole attention.
Now, 1 did you a favor one day, even
though it was for another fellow,
didn't -"
Yes. You have done me at least
two favors."
"Well, that all right. 1 may be able
TO do you a third or a fourth-who
knows? And 1 mention it because I'm
| about to ask you to do me great one
| now. That's what made me so glad
to see you, don't you know, as well, of
course, as the pleasure of talking with
| you again in this dismal hole. 1 was
| just thinking about it and wondering
I hn rharl +
and there you were. Providence al
ways helps me when I'm in pinch
! always, don't you know. l never knew
! it to fail, and yet I'm not what you
! call devout man myself You've got
| nothing particular to do do<n here, /
| suDoose?"
Nothing but my own pleasure"
quite so. And, as there isn't any
pleasure to be had here, you may just
as well turn round and help me; it will
be a great lark. You see, 1 want a
man of intelligence, and 1 don't sup
pose one is to be found in Eastbourne-
for if he was intelligent he wouldn't
stay. Then, too, he must be a man
not known in the town-you see what
l mean2 Also, he must know some
thing about the laboring classes and
their ways. So you see, my boy, provi-
/ dence has sent the very man 1 want,
don't you know. Now promise that
you viii helm me-
If l can, I will"
Right you are You're just the in
dividual who can. and no one else can
do it half so well. Now, in the first
place. have you ever seen SartwelPs
daughter? He's only got one
Have I ever seen herr"
Yes. She was at my reception the
you noticed her among so many, but
she was the handsomest girl in the
room. far and away"
Yes, L have seen Miss Sartwell. She
used TO call for her father at his Of
fee quite frequently"
Good again. That's a fourth quail
fcation needed by the person who is to
help me. so you see you are the man
Of all men for this job. Now it hap
pens that this charming girl is at
school at Eastbourne, which is in a
word, the reason ! am here. 1 want to
get q message taken to Miss Sart-
we'll at the school, and I want you to
take it"
oh. I don't think I should care to
go on a mission of that sort, Mr.. Hope.
If Mr.. Sartwell were to find out
that r.
My dear fellow" interrupted Bar
ney, placing his hand confidentially
on Marsten's shoulder, tits all right.
assure you. There is really nothing
earth, Langton, you don't think I'm
that kind of a man, l trust. oh, no:
I've the parental consent all right
enough"
Then why don't you go to the
school and see herr"
Because, dear boy, the case is just a
trifie complicated don't you know.
can always get the parental consent;
that's her money, you know. As a
general thing the girls like me, and |
won't say the money has all to do
with that. No, 1 f1atter myself, per-
sonal attractions, a fair amount of
brains, and a certain aristocratic repu-
tatiOn come in there; but money tells
with the older people. Now, Sartwell
and l understand each other Not to
put too fine a point upon it, you know.
he says practically: Barney, you're an
ass; but you're rich, and I don't sup
pose you're bigger fool than the av-
erage young man of the pres
ent day, so I give you
fair field. Go in. my boy. and WIN
/ say to Sartwell: You're a grllm-
by old curmudgeon, with no more
artistic proportion than the shot tower;
but your daughter is an angel, and I've
got money enough for the two of u.s.
You see, I never did care for money
except to get what I want So there
we stand. Sartwell was coming down
here with me; but, after l started. he
telegraphed to my studio that there
was so much to do in the shops. with
all the men newly back. that he would
like me to postpone my visit for 2
week. Well, I had to get the horses and