Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-06-19
EAsH I|g ]; TN.
"A ". -,

Journal.
yes" said Uncle Jonas. that boy O.
rnii'c alius wus fond " books. an now
he's Oecom' page In the ligis,atur."--
Philadelphia American.
oucric,s-n you know why this IL
often called a cold world? Cynicus--
To distinguish IL from the next, I sup
r.Nse.--New York Journal.
Roberts Harry fond Of female so.
cjety? Notwithstanding. I've
Snown him TO play whist with three
oonen.-Boston Transcript.
ibid you read that magazine article
S,, The Working of Bankv"" II
AZ by an ex-hank president or an OK.
o1rylar?'-Cincinnati Enquirer.
"'ihc Turks seem to have a mighty
rssor opinion of the Greeks" Yes:
t,nt accounts for them running 'em
Siovn."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
Few men have any trouble in meet.
ING their creditors" says the Manayunk
philosopher. but they do have trou.
Die in lodging hem."-Philadelphia
E,scori.
Hc-I must have n kiss for every cara.
lsel. dear. She-Some men would have
O,ught a whole box instead of that
Fl,s-,sley little paper bag full.-Dctroit
rrcp Press.
Julia. have you bought new spring
s'iit ye;?" NO. I'll have to wait until
Oszt month; Dick had to buy a new
spring gun and two new spring fishing
r,lsis this month"
He-.Iust listen how that hen cackles!
iS,s. doesn't know how little one egg
VIII soil for. She-Perllaps she does.
She may be advertising bargain
S,'Dcrvil!e Journal.
Mrs. Jones-Wake up, John! There's
as,u,coDe trying to get into the house!
1ones-Tiow do you know? Mrs. Jones
---IEe dog has stopped bowling. Hurry.
sohn:-Ncw York Journal.
Mr. Crimsonbcak--1 don't believe q
rilan ever stole anything but he lived
tD regret 1t. Mrs. Characterization
s,,>ie my heart once. John. Mr.. Grim.
sonbeak-Yes.-- Statesman.
"Joe got the inside track Of his wife
this year" what did he do?" lie
s,sad her a whole lot OF newspaper
stories OF men who had dropped dead
beating carpets. Free Press.
kerrirnr-rhats good fer a cowldi
'Cssey-Hov yez got tn proice NV two
tot WHISTLES about yez? Kcrrigan--O
hov not. Casey-Will, thin, Kerrigan,
'ut wud be mercy not { tHl yez.-
Puck.
Walker Farr-I thought your next
four was 10 have been through South
Africa. Count d'Ties-lt was. but the
.CS,nT,any struck. One Of them had
's,sid that an ostrich egg often weighs
n dozen pounds.-Puck.
Amanda (alightng from her wheel at
the roadside. where Mortimer awaits
hsr,-llave / kept you waiting long.
dear? Mortlmer-Long? Many cycles
nave passed since the hour appointed
for our meeting.-Judgc.
"You see. 1t was this way: They
'=xere all three so dead In love with her
md all so eligible that to settle the
natter she agreed to marry the one
who should guess the nearest to her
age" ''Apd did shc?" II don't know.
4 know she married tho one who guess
III the owest."-Pearson's Weekly.
A hereditary liar: Mrs. Jackson
'7Szts sebenteen lies yo's tole mo toe
day. all difYrun,. 70 am regular rap
xkiliion. 'Rast,is Jsckson-W.whad
an q rapsk!llIon. nanny? Mrs. Jack
,spn-A rapsklll!on am young 'un data
spk bis ladders blood In h!m--dat'a
whad q rapsklllion am.-Judge.
-"Yon don't mean to tell me you have
.Esue and got engaged to two women
at once:" "Yes, but 1t really amounts
z2sement for each girl" "Wlll you
phsse explain" "Why, certainly
Zach Of 'em Is engaged to another fel'
Low."-Cinc!nnati Commercial Tribune
\ vindlcatIon: 81 don't understand
rVhy you dislike Herbert so." said Ma
5.si TO her father. II don't think he has
1ay ideas OF finance" II am sure you
wrong him. He Is devoted to 1t. He
stopped right In the middle OF his pro
paxaI TO me TO ask how your business
7ras getting along. "-Washington star
Mrs. Commensurate (sOberly)-Are
lysu sure your iiancee will make good
-lcme,bOdy, Eli! DO you think she
-snows anything about mending for In
.x,ance: Cholly Commonstalk-Abou
.a,snding. mother? Why, that Is heI
very strongest point. saw her mend
a bnsted tire once In just fourteen min
nir.s by the watch.-Bazar.
Ainllona!re-You ask for the hand Of
my daughter. You are journalist
believe. and Journalists, am told. car
scarcely earn their salt Young Editor
with dignity)-You mistake. sir. an
4 newspaper man. "Oh! Keep new
stand, presume. Good, paying bust
ness! Take her, my son, and be hap
py."-New York Weekly.
lyon know" she said with littl'
.asperiry, "that women have the repu
,.ation Of being able to make money g
further than men," "rhat's true" re
oiled the man Of small economies, "ant
rs Just what object to. What wan
ebsm 70 do is 10 let II keep still wher'
81 and rest little now and them
Washington Star.
Publisher dmpatiently)-Well, sir
what Is Il? Poet ulmld!y)-O-er-ar
,o,, Mr.. Jobson; Publisher Qrritabl,
Yes. Poet more tlmidly)-Mr. Georg
Iosson: Publisher lexcltedly)-Yes
Ina n