Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-08-26
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Lady of the Aroostook." The clerk
seemed to be in some doubt about the
title, but after moments consultation
with another salesman, he came for
ward and said, blandly: $50 sorry we
haven't got The Lady or the Rooster,
but we can give you The Lady or the
Tiger"
Stephen Girard, the intidel Million
aire of Philadelphia, on one Saturday
ordered all his clerks to Come on the
morrow to his wharf and help unload a
newly arrived ship. One young man
replied, quietly: Mr.. Girard, l can't
work on Sunday" ''You know the
rules "Ies, l know. l have a moth
er to support, but / can't work on Sun
days We'll, step up to the desk, and
the cashier will settle with YOU For
three weeks the young man could find
no work; but one day banker came to
Girard to ask if he could recommend
man for cashier in a new bank. This
discharged young man was ut once
named as suitable person. But
said the banker. you dismissed him.
eyes. because he would not work on
Sundays. A man who would lose his
place for conscience's sake would make
Il trustworthy cashier And he was
appointed.
Mark Twain once attended a mission
airy meeting in Hartford, at which
missionary made an address. After
1cfn IN, <ho iv;n c<r of ~
fering, Mark Twain said to himself:
"FOr Gods sake, send that plate
around. so that l can pour my SYM
pathy into it. I'll give you these four
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES bills, and if l can
get Il piece of paper, I'll write check
for something more. l can very well
spare little money for cause like
that" But the lecturer went on talk
ing, and as he talked, Twain's enthusi-
asm Gained. "And when the mission
airy had been talking for half an hour"
he continues, Il had saved one of those
bills, and when he had talked five min
utes more two of those bills We're
mine again, and when he had been
talking an hour l had won all four
back, and, by gosh, when he finally did
send that plate round, / borrowed ten
cents out Of it to pay my carefare
home"
President Lincoln, when he was
young lawyer practicing in the courts
of Illinois, was once engaged in a case
in which the lawyer on the other side
made very vOluble speech, full Of wild
statements to the jury. Lincoln opened
his reply by saying: "My friend who
has just spoken to you would be all
right if it were not for one thing, and
don't know that you ought to blame
him for that, for he can't help it. What
l refer to is his reckless statements
without any ground OF truth. You have
seen instances of this in his speech to
you. Now, the reason of this lies in
the constitution of his mind. The mo-
ment he begins to talk, all his mental
operations cease and he is not respon-
sible. He is, in fact, much like little
steamboat that saw on the Sangamon
River, when was engaged in boating
there. This little steamer had a five
foot boiler and seven-foot whistle,
and every time it whistled the engine
stopped
A member of Congress was going
home very late few nights ago (the
Washington Post says, when he met
a young man who was hopelessly
drunk. The Congressman happened to
know where he lived, and kindly guild
ed him home. The Congressman had
no sooner pulled the bell than the door
was flung open and tall and vigorous
woman appeared. She said not a word,
but grabbed the intoxicated young man
by the collar and gave him shaking
that fairly loosened his teeth. Into the
hall she shook him and slammed the
door. The Congressman was descend
ing the steps, when the door opened
again and his friend flew out as if
flung from a catapult. He landed at
the foot Of the stairs, and the Congress
man picked him up. He was very
much frightened, and he was almost
sober. He managed to gasp out: I'VE
don't live here. We've moved last
week" The really interesting thing
would be to know what happened to
the man who does live there.
The late Judge Richard Clarke pre-
sided IN the Atlanta circuit of the Su-
perior Court when one of the most re-
markable murder trials was in prog
ress. The evidence was conflicting
(says the Washington POST. and the
judge was called upon to charge the
jury on some new and interesting legal
points. The judge was rapid talker.
In this instance 1t was very important
that every word he spoke should be
correctly recorded, and he SO cautioned
the stenographer. Then Judge Clark
began. As he warmed up to his charge
he was speaking at the rate of two
hundred and fifty words a minute.
Once he glanced toward the stenogra-
pher. That worthy official seemed to
be housekeeping over his work and ap-
parently writing very slowly. "Mr.
-, are you getting my words down
correctly?" asked the Judge. At this