The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-06-25

Slumleigh-I don't see why you care
so little for me. Miss Gyer-Have you
ever taken good look at yourself?-
Town Topics.
She - DO you understand those
French jokes? Helm afraid I do.
She-Then l wish you'd translate them.
Pick Me-Up.
Gosling-"What do you think Of this
new tie OF miner" Wiggins-"My boy.
It's not tie. It's a colored supple
ment. Truth.
George describes the girl he is en-
gagged to as a perfect vision" Yes.
And his sister says she is sight
indianapolis Journal.
Has Mr.. De Broken proposed to you
yet, Beatrice:" mo; but he has a law
yer looking into papa's financial ar
fairs."-Detroit Free Press.
Mr.. Slimmer-Going to the ball to-
night? Miss Antique-No. don't dance
the new dances. why notf" Not
asked. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
When a woman Is saving up to buy
a new hat she can never see any use
in her husbands spending money to be-
long to a club.-New York Press.
'Boarding-houses have taught me
one thing" what is that:" 1T couldn't
have been a dried apple with which Eve
tempted Adam" Chicago Record.
Cannlbal klng-You haven't succeed
ed in fattening the captives The chief
coOk-He's losing flesh all the time. I
think he's worrying about something.
Puck
George just saw you coming from
the conservatory with Miss GOldie.
Rather handsome girl, but too reserved
for me. Thomas-Yes. l just reserved
her for life.-Cincinnati Enquirer
Ever notice what an even temper
Johnson has: No matter Low much he
is disagreed with. he never gels an
Cry" "No: but what n deep pity he
has for the other w"-lndianapolis
Journal.
Dyspepsia Specialist drriiablyl-
But. madam. you must chew your
food. What were your teeth given you
for:' Female Patient (calmly)-"They
weren't given to mel bought ELM
Odds and Ends
Theatres ought TO be seated with the
women all on one side and the men on
the other" Why" so thar when
men go out between the acts they can
tramp on each others toes."-Detroit
Free Press.
fashion paper announces that
gowns this summer will come higher
than they d.d last year. owing to a
boom in the silk market We trust they
will-at the shoulders Commercial
Advertiser.
The bicycle is all right. suppose
remarked Mr.. Walker. "but Il should
not be carried to excess - Il don't think
it should be carried at ALL" replied Mr.
Sprocket. 1T should carry you
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
neutrality-suspicious. is the first
hand organ l have seen for some weeks.
Got too cold for them. | suppose" Or
ganist-"Eet ees so. signOr. Zee peo-
pies keepa windows shut and uotta nay
Us to nova on."-New York Weekly.
Mr.. Norris-''I won't hear word OF
il. Ii is too preposterous" Mrs. Nor
ris-"Don't be severe with Frank: you
know he has fallen in pve~ We'll.
can't he fall out againy' mo. I'm
afraid not without getting married. -
Answers.
Il have seen some pretty hard knocks
In my time" began the anvil. in ring
ing tones. when the bellows interrupt
ed him with. But think Of the trouble
l have. There isn't day that I'm not
hard pressed to raise the wind. Gin
cinanti Enquirer.
Mr.. Esplanade-"l miss one topic
from the program of the Mothers Con
gress which fully expected to see dis
cussed" Mr.. Monterey-"What Is
thaty" Mr.. Esplanade-"How to Man
age a Husband" by Miss Soanso'-
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Chumley-"I hear one OF your fresh
men was pretty badly injured the other
day. How was itT' Hanklns-"Why.
IL was In the elocution and orat0ry
class. He has such a heavy voice that
he strained his hack In trying to raise
it."-University Of Michigan Wrinkle.
Advance Agent-"You Western peo-
pie don't seem to be quite up to opera.
Everywhere we go the audiences weep
in the wrong place" Local Manager
you won't have any trouble here. My
ushers are instructed to eject anybody
who does not weep in the cuspidor."-
Detroit Journal.
Mabel I studying her lesson)-"Papa.
what is the definition Of voiubilityT'
Mabers Father-"My child. vOlubility
Is a distinguishing feature OF your
mother when. on account OF urgent ar
fairs, don't happen to reach home I'M
iii after o'clock in the morning.
Baltimore News.
Mother-"Mary. that young Spinners
has been paying a great deal OF atten-
ton to you OF late DO you think he
means businessT' Mary with a far.
away lookl-"Im afraid he does.
mother. He is the agent for a bicycle
firm. and he has done nothing but try
to sell me a bicycle ever since he has
been coming bere."-Spare Moments.
We are all iookfno for onnracfa ffon