Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-07-21

Cannot join you in that Journey
In that journey to the pole.
Cannot slip the burning weather,
Where the thunders rave and roll
And where icebergS crash together
Freeze with Peary, at the pole!
But though here the heat may task us,
In your regions we should view
Some shivering bear might ask u.s.
rs it cold enough for you"
Atlanta Constitution.
[ was sitting on key of nails in
West Virginia mountain store watching
a native dickering with the merchant
over a trade of a basket of eggs for a
calico dress. After some time bargain
was closed, the native walked out with
the dress in a bundle under his arm and
/ followed him.
1T isn't any business of mine,'' | said,
''but | was watching that trade, and was
surprise to see you let the eggs go for
the Dress
What fer?'' he asked, in establishment,
as he mounted his horse.
How many eggs did you have?"
Basket full"
''How many dozen?"
"Dunno. Can't count"
That's where you miss the advantages
of education. With knowledge you
might have got two dresses for those
eggs"
"But 1 didn't want two dresses, mis-
ter" he argued.
perhaps not, but that was no reason
why you should have paid two prices
for one. The merchant got the adj
vantage of you because of his education.
He knew what he was about"
He looked at me for minute, as If
ne felt real sorry for me- Then he
grinned and pulled his horse over close
to me.
Il reckon he half whispered, casting
furtiye chances toward the store, his
eddication amt so much more'n mine eZ
you think it is. He don't know how
many Nv them aigs is spilled, an / do"
and he rode away before / could argue
further.-Boston Herald.
Your personal affairs are of mighty lit
tie concern to the world, unless you have
been doing something that you oughtn't
to.-Life.
"Where can 1 get lot of barbed wire
cheap" asked Farmer Furrow of his
friend, Deacon Dewgood, who was
watching the old man work the buck
saw.
''Well. they're giving it away in Rus
sia,' said the deacon.
What for?" gasped the astonished
granger, dropping his saw.
For nothing, of course. You see,
after the telegraph wires over there have
been used little while the Russian Ian
guage twists them all out of shape and
the peasants use them for fences"
Farmer Furrow said nothing, but
sawed wood.
II suppose" said the stern parent ''you
know that the man who takes my daugh-
ter takes her as she stands, without
penny" You don't say So" replied the
impetuous lover: ''in that case | should
be doing the dear girl a great wrong. [
love her too well, sir, to take her under
such conditions" And the stern, parent
embraced the impetuous lover, and folded
him to his breast, and said unto him,
on are the man l have been looking
for. You are an easy-going liar, and you
have tact. Transcript.
'Have you heard what happened to
the Dollicum girls?''
''What was it?'
''They had seer photos of actresses
with the head stuck through q torn news
paper, and were so delighted with the
idea that they decided to get themselves
taken the same way. They arranged it
with a photographer, and the result was
charming picture. They were very
their friends"
''Well, what of that?'
"Only that they had chosen the adj
vertisement page of the newspaper, and
under their heads were the words, in big
type, Our Pants are Double Seated -
Elk
A small boy cyclist was riding without
a light and was stopped by park officer,
hn ell in wi III
''Why it's here" exclaimed the rider,
in surprise.
eyes, but it's out" solemnly asserted
the patrOlman.
''Wen, it was lighted at that last
turn"
Sonny, it's cold; couldn't have been
LIGHTED this evening" triumphantiy an
nounced the officer.
HUH That thin metal cools in Il min
ute. I'll light that lamp and wait until
it gets red hot, put it out, then ride to
the next corner and back, and when l
return it'll be cold
All right, try it, assented the acute
policeman.
The boy lighted the lantern, waited IN
til it grew red hot, turned it out. and
started, and that kid is going yet.-Phila-
delphia Press.
Victoria, like all good women, had her
spells of nagging, and like all model
wives, when she nagged she nagged her
husband. When Albert saw that his
wife was in a nagging humor he used to
go to a little room at the top of Buck
ingham palace and lock himself in. Of
course this was terribly hard on Vic
toria, who, when she wanted to nag,
did not want to be thwarted. So she
would follow the prince cOnsort up the
stairs to the little room and rap on the
door, but Albert would pay no heed
Victoria would knock with her royal
knuckIes at first, and then with any
thing that came to hand, but the unhap-
by Coburger would pay no attention.
Then Victoria the Good womld say,
"Albert, the Queen wishes to be admit
ted" Still no response. albert, the
Queen demands to be admitted.
Still no response. Then, after pause,