The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1897-04-29
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The absent-minded man. It's said.
Is he, without much doubt.
Who put the candle into bed
And blew himself clear out.
New York Tribune


New York Tribune
A man in Kansas City anxious
to make money has got corner on
onions. Whenever he wants to
make a scent or two all he has to
do is to stir the onions. -Belling-
ham Times.
A picturesque element in the
Turko-Grecian war is the enlist
ment in large numbers of Italians
for service in the armies of Greece.
Their sympathy does them credit.
Chicago Inter Ocean.
Uncle Russell Sage has been ex-
travagant enough to pay 1918 for
a new spring suit: and the lambs
in Wall street need to keep an ex-
ceptionally firm grip on their wool
for the next few days.-St. Louis
Republic.
A Chicago jury has given all
actress who dared to enter the
dismal recesses of a hotel folding
bed, and nearly had her back
broken, a jud gment for $4,000.
and now the demand for folding
beds in Chicago hotels is unprece
dented. Minneapolis Tribune.
A London paper remarks that
the United States had better keep
out Of the present Hawaiian mud.
die, or Japan may teach Uncle Sam
a costly lesson. That old York
town affair still seems to be rank
ling in John Bulls breast. Cleve
land Leader.
Somebody somewhere sometime
has given the following very good
advice: Drink less, breathe more;
eat less, chew more: ride less, walk
more: clothe less, battle more;
worry less, work more: waste less,
give more: write less, read more ):
preach less, practice more" Still
water Gazette.
A report has reached Kansas
that Senator PETER has taken to
riding bicycle and wearing golf
stockings that can be heard half
mile away. And ever since the
news reached the state the air has
been full of the musical whir of
grindstones sharpening machetes
to welcome him on his return home.
Minneapolis Journal.
Here" said the shade of Napo-
leon to the ghost of Wellington. Il
want to shake hands with you
Certainly" replied Wellington;,
"but why?'
you defeated me, it is true"
grunted Napoleon, ''but over on
the earth an actor named Irving
has gone on the stage and repre-
scented me. ''-Philadelphia North
American
A number of North Atchison
girls recently invited their friends
to a party, saying that feature of
the entertainment would be a
swimming match between two
girls. Every one went. and found
that this part Of the program was.
carried out by two girls sitting at
a table, with a bowl Of water be-
tween them, in which a match
foated. The men felt that they
had been STANDARDIZATION { KS.
Globe.
All criminologists agree that in
direct suggestion is one of the
surest ways of melting to crime:
and an eminent French writer has.
published volume on the Con
tagion of Murder" in which he
traces cases of homicidal mania in
duced by pictures of assassination.
The regular reader of many mod
ern newspapers might imagine that
the world is much worse than it
used to be. This would be mis-
take. The difference is not only
that the newspapers exaggerate,
and sometimes invent details of
crime, but that the facilities for
collecting news are so much better
than formerly that everything is
There is no part of the
Of the day which can
be more proftably skipped than
the detailed narratives of crime
Chicago Monthly Globe.