davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Because he wabbled when he walked.
This forest path became lane;
That bent and turned aud turned again.
This crooked lane became n road,
Where many a poor horse, with his load
Toiled on beneath the burning sun,
And Travelled some three miles In one,
And thus century and half,
They trod the footsteps Of that calf.
The years passed on In swiftness fleet,
The road became q village street,
And this, before the men were aware,
A citys crowded thoroughfare,
And soon the central street was this.
Of renowned metropolis.
And men two centuries and half,
Trod In the footsteps Of that calf;
Each day hundred thousand rout
Followed the zlgzag calf about.
And DER his crooked journey went,
The traffic OF q continent.
hundred thousand men were led
By one calf near three centuries dead,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
Cyclones Effect on Bicycles.

1t has remained for the French TO
study the resisting power which the
bicycle has in a cyclone, aud to pro-
duce an instantaneous photograph of
a bicycle and rider as they appeared
when caught in a furious whirwind.
During recent tempests a number of
bicyclists were caught on the high
ways, and, although few machines
were wrecked, they were of the cheap
est grades. Bicycles of the best make
showed remarkable powers of resist
ance. They were bent into all sorts
)f shapes, but they did not break.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
Eleven Inehes of Hand.

Jim Stevenson, a colored man aged
about twenty years, residing in Lex
ington, but who was born ut North
Middletown, Bourbon County, has the
most enormous hand in the world,
probably, and he says he was born
that way. His right hand is eleven
inches long from the joint Of the wrist
to the end of the middle finger, aud
the thumb and fingers about four
inches in circumference. His thumb
nail is as big as a half dollar. The
two last fingers are of normal size.
The thumb and index finger of the
left hand are about double normal
size. louisville Dispateh.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
Dldn,t Approve of the Feast.

The lesson was from the prodigal
son, and the teacher was dwelling on
the character of the elder brother.
"But amid all the rejoicing" he
said, "there was one to whom the
preparation of the feast brought nc
Joy, to whom the prodigars return
gave no pleasure, but only bitterness
one who did not approve of the feast
being held, and who hal no wish to
attend it. Now eau any Of you tell
me who this was?"
There was a breathless silence, fol
lowed by a vigorous cracking of
thumbs, and then from dozen SYM
pathetic little geniuses came the Choir
us:
please, sA it was the fatted calfl'
Aberdeen u lal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
OPPORTUNITY.

Monarch oh every human being, l.
Destiny shapes itself beneath my hand.
rule ambitlob(s lofty as the sky;
L pave the Way for crimes debasing
brands.
I'm king OF battleS, and I'm god Of love
govern all below, NQnd all above.
And once l come to cvNry one Of ye-
That hour your hope N lost or fortunes
made.
Act braycly, promptly, for Ahe way IL free;
And woe TO him who hesitaStes. afraid
hold I'm one hand, hon0T, love and
place;
And in the other want, hate and\disgrace;
So when l come, then may your Syos see
plain;
For slighted once, | never come agafsn.
John ID. Underwood, In Boston TfNNp-
script.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

The Germans seem to be losing
their respect for the Emperor. Last
year there was eighty-three per cent.
more imprisonments for leso majestic,
which is the term for the treason of
speaking disrespectfully about roy.
atty, than eleven years ago.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

If there were more big estates to
settle, observes the Detroit Free
Press, there would probably be more
lawyers. The attorneys in the Davis
case in Minnesota got about $5, 5,O00,-
900 before the heirs got anything.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
wonan's Portion. .

"In marriage" said the old bach
elor, as he mentally figured on the cost
of n wedding present, "a woman gets
everything" e"
eyes, admitted the old maid; "she
even gets the worst of it. t.'-Chicago
Post
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Deputy Attorney General Elkin, of
Pennsylvania, decides that mutual life
insurance companies may issue poll
oies requiring the payment of period
ical premiums of fixed and definite
sum in lieu of the assessments made
upon the death of members.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Young Housekeeper - "My good
man, cant you find a more useful life
than that of tramp?"
Tramp-"We are useful, madam -
just think of the number of divorces
we prevent by eating young house
keepers pies. Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

The Editors Assistant - "Here's
some fugitive poetry, left to-day"
The Editor-"By whom?"
The Editors Assistant-"A fugitive
poet. ran him out with shotgun. "
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Rain cannot force itself under the
bottom of a door or window frame just
patented which has aange in the bot.
tom of the frame with the front of the
step lower than the back, the door be.
ing beyeled to fit it tightly.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Mrs. Mashem-"My dog and I have
been sitting for our photographs as
Beauty and the Beast"
Lord Loreus IA bit of fancier)-
eyes; he certainly is beauty, isn't
he?"-Punch.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
Too Quick For Him .

Mrs. Bacon-"Did you offer Mr..
Crimsonbeak your umbrella when he
went out?"
Mr.. Bacon-'No; didn't have
chance; he took it. "-Yonkers States
man.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

She-"Such lovely bargains as there
are at that new place"
He-"Ah?"
She-'Yes, silks at eighteen cents,
aud in store so small that hundred
pei sons crowd it to suifocation!" DE.
troit journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Judge--"Why did you knock this
man down? Did he say you were
liar?'
Prisoner-"Worse'n that, sab; he
proved it,"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

"We let our typewriter girl CO."
"What was the trouble2"
"Why, she didn't take enough in
terest in the busSless to pry into our
private letters. Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Mother-''Edith, go and see whether
the clock is going"
Edith Coming back k)-''No, mamma,
it is standing quite still, only its tail is
wagging little. Enquire Within.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

First Lawyer-"You are a shysterl"
His Opponent-"And you are
blackguard?"
The Court-"Now, gentlemen, let
us get at the disputed points in the
case. philadelphia North American.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Boarding School Teacher-"And
now, Edith, tell us the plural of ba-
by
Edith (promptly)-"Twins."
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

In the period 1882 to 1894 the Grim
inal record in the German empire in
creased twenty-five per cent, or
twelve per cent. more than the popu
Iotion
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

He (cautiously)-"If should pro-
pose, would you say yes?"
She (more cautiously - "If you
knew would say yes would you pro
pose?"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

She (sweetly)-"Do you believe that
kissing is unhealthy?"
He (cautiously)-"Well, I-er-is
your father at home this evening?"-
Chicago News.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

"Are You in pain, my little man?"
asked the kind old man.
NO." answered the boy. "The
pains in me. e."-Indianapolis Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

(Which would you rather be, Har-
greaves, rich or handsome?"
''Td like to be rich, also. ."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Mrs. Henpeck --"The proof of the
pudding is in the eating"
Mr.. HenpeclS-"The proof of those
you make is in the post-mortem -
Life.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Horses may be cheap enough else
where, but ON the Klondike trail even
the poorest cuts are worth fifty cents
mound
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Kitty-"What did she do with those
adoring love epistles he wrote?"
Jack-"She simply made light of
them. "-Up-to-Date.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

Japan is about to send lot Of ex.
perts to this country to teach the peo-
pie how to make tea.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE To&D BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

A Word Picture-Thc Martyr-A Double
Quantity dubbed It Ina BeasSly
slip-Too Quick For Him oinestf,,
Repartee - Fencing with Fate, Etc.
sudden rain, q road OF clay,
A leak thnt's sure though slow;
pump just twenty miles away
Hows that for wheel aud woe?
Rochester Union and Advertiser,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

English officials estimate that it will
cost the Government SIS, 900, 900 to
suppress the uprising in India.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

"Your husband seems 20 be vic
tim of the tobacco habit"
3 mo; I'm the victim. lie thorough
ly enjoys it,.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20

I'll have it without any more nonsense.
I'm not running moonlight excur-
sion with brass band on board
Surrender, or I'll sink you"
you're too late. We've been
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
wAsHBURN AND K q. TIE.
Rain Stops a Good Game in the Fifth
Score 5 to 5.

The Washburn-K. U. base ball game
Saturday afternoon at Athletic park
was one of the best seen here IN some
time Pl1t on account of the rain play
was stopped in the fifth inning w ASH
burn had a slight advantage When the
rain began pouring Gown. 49, -eo,,,-
K u went to bat first and they seem
ed to find StricklettS curves quickly
They pounded out three runs before
Washburn got awake AFTER thaI llle
K II fellows didn't solve the mySter-
ions curves so easily. Washburn failed
to score the first inning but secured one
in the second. Again in the fourth in
ming four men crossed over the home
DIafe This made the score five to
three in Washburn's favor. Then, IN
the first half of the fifth inning K. U.
secured two runs which tied the score
Washburn went to bat and got a man
to second base when the clouds poured
out their moisture in volumes AS the
fifth inning was not hnlshed, under
base ball rules, it was not game ana
it will have to be played over again If
the college championship of the state IS
to be decided.
Stricklett did good work and was a
surprise to the Lawrence men.
VIII Stanley did excellent work in the
box for K u. He has a terrific deliv-
cry and excellent judgment. Curry the
regular catcher, has an injured thumb,
and the Haskell Indian catcher, keeler
was substituted.
c. Stahl. Washburn's catcher, is safe
and sure in his work An effort is be-
ing made to bring K. U. here again for
another game It is probable that they
will play Washburn at Athletic park
tomorrow afternoon.
The score of playing Saturday was as
follows:
K. U.... .........3 0 2-5
Washburn .--..--.. ......O . X-9
StricxIett and c. Stahl; Stanley and
Keller; earned runs, Washburn 2; K. U.
3; two base hits, Gephart, G. Stahl.
Keller; struck out, by Stricklett Z; by
Stanley 4: hit by pitched ball, Finley;
bases on balls, off Stricklett 1; off Stan
ley l; umpire, Chas McCabe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
s2,4oo,ooo Gold Export Tomorrow.

Washington, May 24.-The treasury
department at 10 o'clock today received
a telegram from New York stating that
Sits, 900 in gold coin had been with
drawn from the sub treasury for export
also that 81, Dps, 600 in gold had been OBJ
tanned from the banks making the to-
tai shipments for tomorrow 81, 4O0,o 600.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
s5sO,855 FOR MISSIONS.
Financial Report of the American
Baptist Missionary Union.

Pfttsburg. Pa, May 24-After devO-
tionaI exercises conducted by Rev EN-
Dry w. Hunt of Ohio, the eighty-th1rd
anniversary of the American Baptist
Missionary union began in the Fourth
Avenue Baptist church at 10 o'clock this
morning. The American Baptist MIS-
sionary union organized May Is, 1914,
has charge of all the foreign mission
work, and also has a number of institu-
tiOnS for higher education esta blished
under it's control in foreign lands.
The convention was called to order by
Rev. Henry F. Colby of Ohio, the presi-
dent The treasurer's report showed
that he received $467 1O1. SO from the fol-
lowing sources: Donations $25S, 29S;
Iegacies $45, 740; Woman's society of the
east $75. 9S5; WOman's society of the
west &c, no; Woman's society of Califor-
MIA 81 1855; WOman's society of OREGON
$685.; Bible day collection $l,321; addi-
lions to permanent funds and bond ac-
counts $15 40; income on funds $50, 322;
Gordon memorial fund 1888; rent of
mission property in Siam $S12. a.
The donations were received from the
following localities: Maine, $3,923.05;
New Hampshire, 81, 81 "a; Vermont, 81.
7O5.13; Massa chusetts, $45, 949.77: Rhode
Island. $5,043.85; Connecticut SIS, $50. SO;
New York, $64 0S5-22; New Jersey, $11,
S2141: Pennsylvania, $2i,112.92; Ohio,
$27 316.73; Illinois, SIS, 927.25; Wisconsin,
S. So. Is; Norway, $64.29; Denmark, 1892
So; Sweden, $40; England, $40; Spain,
81 80; Burmah $6.215.92 Assam, 1906. 26;
China, 81, 245.4S; Japan, S1,868.09; India,
sc. 766 SO; Congo, sS73 so; Alaska, So. Sc;
miscellaneous, So, 209.&3
The balance came from different por-
tons of the United States.
The expenditures We're as follows:
Appropriation for the year 1867,
$3.50, 855. So; added to permanent funds
and bond accounts, SIS, 40; debt April l,
1896, $163, 827.63 a total of $759, 1913 q,
leaving a debt April 1, 1897, $292, 721. 81.
OF the $3.50, S55.5S appropriated for the
year, S494, 537-S6 was for the various
missions. $2,737.08 for publication. S19.-
4.4O for annuities, $26, S10.95 for district
secretaries and agencies, $21, 749 so for
executive officers, 81. 233. 81 for general
expenses and $4,28L86 for interest ac-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
A SHOWER OF SILVER
Fell on the Salvation Army Last
Night and Capt. Hawk Gath
erad in $22 30

Rivalry among a dozen book men and
commercial travellers sitting on the Ma
tional hotel balcony last night netted the
Salvation Army s22.5O in the collection
taken during the services.
When the preliminary services had
been concluded and Captain Hawk asked
for a collection for the Army, the trav-
cling men and book agents winked at
each other and smiled. Finally J. L.
Shultz, a commercial traveller from New
York, stepped up and said that he would
start the ball to rolling if the others
would follow. The others readily agreed
to it and the novelty of the thing struck
the crowd favorably. The bass drum
player laid the instrument on its side on
the pavement and with a peculiar twist
of his wrist indicated that the money
should be thrown on the drum head.
Dimes and quarters soon began to fall
on the drum, making a merry noise. This
pleased the Salvation Army people and
they gave thanks often. Mr.. Shultz was
the leader in the fun. But others who
took part were H. A. Foresman, E. H
Scott and Ira Eaton. all agents of school
text book companies, who are here
awaiting decisions from the school book
commission.
Soon the bantering began. In this fully
a dozen men took part. They sat on the
al. Soon a large crowd began to gather.
The contributions increased to half doll
lar pieces. Mr.. Shultz then said that if
he was followed he would begin with
dollars. No sooner said than done. Dol
lars We're dropped on the big bass drum
Tum, tum, tum, tum! said the drum
Then the Salvation Army lassies would
sing out Praise God, Glory to Cod"
Captain Hawk commenced counting. the
money. 1t was found that there was
over $40 there. Again jolly Mr.. Shultz
called for another following. He dropped
a dollar onto the drum and Immediately
afterwards there was a shower of silver
and above the noise of the drum could be
heard the joyful praises of the SalvatiOn-
lists Everyone of them was supremely
happy The balcony crowd was pleased
with the entertainment too.
One book agent said it cost him $3.50.
Finally the service was closed and the
money counted. 1t was found that the
generous gentlemen had given So. So
Captain Hawk thanked the donors and
said:
Except collection of $35 taken once
in Des Moines when three times the NUM-
Der of people assembled here were pres
emit this is the largest collection have
ever seen taken at a regular service OF
course we often get larger sums when
our great leaders are conducting the
meetings but this exceeds any taken at
simple Sunday evening services
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
RELIEF BILL IS SIGNED.
Provisions to be Bought Here and
Sent to Cuba.


appropriatfng $50, 600 for the relief of
American distressed citizens in Cuba
reached the White House at half past
IL o'clock today just as soon as it could
be sent up after being signed in both
houses while they were in open session.
The president signed the resolution i'm
mediately and will proceed at once to
partment respecting the adoption of
measures of relief in addition to those
taken last week when Consul General
Lee was authorized to draw upon the
state department for $40, 600 for the pro-
curement of immediate supplies.
State department officials are of the
opinion that it will not suffice to- send
money to Cuba but believe that in view
of the high prices for provisions pre-
vailing on the island, it will be best to
procure at least a portion of the stores
in this country and send them by
freight steamers to Cuba.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
KANSAS FOE KNOCKED OUT.
Ex-Gov. Ormsbee of Vermont, Fails to
Prove His SANDERS on Kansas.

Wichita May 24--Ex-Governor Orms-
bee of Vermont was here today en-
route to Texas. When asked by a cor
respondent whether the feeling of the
eastern people was nanifesting any
favorable change toward Kansas, he
got very angry and said:
The people of Kansas are a lot of
idiots and lunatics." When asked why,
he said: Because of their crazy laws
with reference to inVes tments and Sc
curities No man viii invest capital
here with such laws"
When the governor was asked to
what laws he referred, he was dumb
founded to think that he could not men
ton a single Kansas law detrimental to
legitimate investment in the state. He
then admitted that perhaps the eastern
people speak too radically without in
vestigating the conditions of Kansas.
He insisted, however, that too many
Kansas people wear silks, ride in car
riages and have pianos in their homes
The evidences of the taste and culture
seen by him in Kansas seemed to nettle
him He called it extravaganza. The
governor has lost heavily in the state
having invested in balloons in the boom
days
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
A Kansas City Man Fools
Hutchinson Advertisers.
Pretends to Get Up a Mammoth
Stock Sale.
THIRTY VICTIMS BITE.
Issues Big Posters at the Mer-
chants Expense.
On the Day of Sale the Schemer
is Missing.

Hutchinson. May 24.-Hutchinson mas
been worked again. This time by man
who claimed he was from Kansas City.
His scheme was to give great Big
public live stock sale once month,
where the farmers could gather and
buy each others stock and make them
selves rich.
Of course this sale could not be work
ed without advertising. Instead OF Wis
iting the neWSpa per offices and adVert1s-
ing the sale in the different weekly pa
pers and paying for the same, and there
by giving an air of responsibility to the
scheme, the Kansas City man gets out
big posters. The poster devotes about
ten inches to the advertising of the
stock sale and about one hundred and
fifty inches to the fleeing of merchants
out of their money. as about thirty mer-
chants in Hutchinson paid good money
to have their cards on his bill
On the day set for this great gather
ing Of farmers to take part in the NAM
moth stock sale, no stock, no farmers,
and no Kansas City man appeared. He
had collected for his advertising and
his interest in Hutchinson and Hutch
inson merchants has ceased. And now
the merchants are looking for him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
CALLS DEPEW DOWN.
Bishop McCabe Writes About Him
to Lord SaIisb bury.


Pittsburg, May 24-Bishop c. c. Nc
Cabe. probably better known as Chap
lain AIcCabe of the Methodist church was
in the city today en- route west to look
after church interests. In speaking OF
the failure to adopt the arbitration treaty
Bishop NGcCabe scored congress and said
that a great chance for the American
people to set an example to the world in
the general movement for International
peace had been lost. TT is deeply to be
regretted said he. such an opportun-
ity for planting the seeds of wars among
the civilized nations of the globe should
not have been passed by.
"Chauncey NJ. Depew in his speeches.
seems to be giving the impression that
we as a nation, are hostile toward the
English. This is certainly an impression
the people of the United States do not
deserve and it places them in the wrong
light. OF course there are many persons
who do not feel kindly toward England
but they do not compose the better class
es of our citizens, nor are they in the
majority. I have written a letter to Lord
Salisbury upon this subject and have in
formed him that Mr.. Depew's remarks
do not represent the sentiment of our
glorious and peace-loving country
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24

Buckingham's Dye for the Whiskers
is the best, handiest, safest, surest,
cIeanest, most economical and satisfac-
tory dye ever invented. It is the gen
tlemen's favorite~
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
CAMPOS Is CALLED.
Another Cabinet Crisis is Approach
ing at Madrid

Madrid, May 24.-The political situa-
ton here seems to be as follows: The
government not wishing to yield to the
opposition by resigning will appear be
fore the cortes, but if the Liberals do
not attend today's session a ministerial
crisis will result Under the circum-
stances the retention of the present
cabinet does not seem possible. The
Liberals who consider the formation of
a Sagasta cabinet inevitable within a
few days have abandoned all idea of
agreeing upon the formation of a work
ing ministry.
The Heraldo says it learns that high
persons have asked Marshal Martinez
de Campos, the former captain general
of Cuba to come to Madrid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-05-24
TO GIVE GIRLS A CHANCE.
Colored People Object to the Employ
ment of Married Women in the
Schools

At the next meeting of the city board
of education there will be a delegation
of cOlored men from the Fifth ward
present to protest against the employ
ment of cOlOred married women as
teachers in the schools.
Mrs. w. I. Jamison, wife of the col
ored attorney, and Mrs. James H. Guy,
wife of Deputy County Attorney Guy
are two of the teachers the colored pro-
testers want deposed. They say that
their husbands are prosperous and it
is not fair to pay them to teach when
there are many bright young colored
girl graduates who have nothing to
do.
Dennis Hope, w. L Eagleson and B.
F. Perkins are the leaders in the fight.