The San Francisco call., 1897-01-02

Here lies me and my three daughters. :
Brought here by usin E Cheltenham Waters,
u we had stuck 10 EPSON salts =:
We wouldn't be in these here vaul S. ::
From New Hampshire chnrchyard:
To ali my friends bid adieu
more sudden death you never knew.
As was leading the old mare to drink:
She kicked, and killed me qiicker'n a.wink.
On an East Tennessee lady;
-. She lived a life of virtue and died of cholera
blessed i'm mortality at the early ageof 81 years
months and 16 days. Reader, 'Go thou and do
likewise"
= The following was composed by three
Scotch friends 10 whom the persons COM
memorated had left. a legacy, with the
hope. expressed that they. woulQ honor
him by some. records of their regrets. The
hrst friend composed the line which nat
urally opened the .epitaph;
Provost Peter Patterson was Provost of Dundee,
;. The second added:
+, Provost Peter Patterson here lies he. :
The; third could suggest no other conclu-
sion than:
-. . Halleiuiahl Haueluieel
The following must be taken as fling
at noble profession:
=. Here lies the corpse OF Dr. .Chard,
+: Who filled the half of this churchyard
Iu4S X as DdO dS tue uHklHQ u1nI' COLI
veyed in tie following, in a. churchyard
near Newmarket:
Here lies the body of Sarah Sexton,
Who neVerdid aught to vex one,
Not like the woman under the nextstone:.
= Domestic troubles have been laid bare
on the tombstone from the. time of the
Greeks and Romans. Here is a piece of
atrocious doggerel tc be. seen in Selby
churchyard, in Yorkshire
Here lies my wife, sad slattern and a shrew;
:. II said regretted her should lie too.
:. The following, which. frequently appears
IN collections OF epitaphs. are not credited
. to any locality, and may be rDere wander
:lng bits of epigrammatic misogynism:
This dear little spot is the Joy of my life;
II raises my flowers and covers my Wife =.
l am not grieved my dearest life
+. '' Sleep on--I've got another wife;
=. Therefore L cannot come o thee,
-. For must so and live with she. -
+ ;. My-wife's dead, and. here she lies;
f.. = Norman laughs, and no man cries;
Where she's gone, or how she fares,
:: Nobody knows, and nobody car S. -:
: Here lies my poor wife, without bed or blanket,
But dead as door nall, and God be thankit. -
: In:the following: the tables are turned:
. : Here lies the body of Mary Ford, :.
J = Whose SOUL we truSti l3 with the Lord; -. ::
But if for hell she's changed this life,
!: : 'Tis better than being John Ford,s wife.
Intentional drolleries frequently take
the form of puns. Among these should
rank the epitaphof Mr.. Foote OF Norwich:
Here lies one Koote; whose death many thousands
For Death hath now one foot within the grave; :
and the one on Mr.. Box:
=: Here lies one box within another =
The one of wood was very good; -
We cannos say so much for t'other;
also the famous one OF Sir John Strange:
Here lies honest lawyer.
That Is strange!
A ''happy conceit'' it was. doubtless
thought in 1860, to write over a mem ber of
Parliament named White: !.
Here lies a John. burning shining light,
Whose name, life, actions all alike were Whitel
The following is by Swift on the Earl OF
Kildare:
Who killed Kildare Who dared Kildare TO Kill
Death killed Kiidare-who dare kill whom he will.
Here are a few miscellaneous examples,
the first on a Mr.. Fish: -.
Worms are bait for fish bu, here's siddenchanee:
Fish is bait for wormsis not that passing strange
On William Button In churchyard
near Sanbury:
o sun, moon, stars and ye celestial poles;
Are graves, then, dwndled into ButtoH-holes7
On Foote, the comedian: -:
Foote from his earthly stage alas, is hurled;
Death took him OFF, who took on ali the world:
Is the satire in the following examples
Intentional? !
Maria Brown. wife of Timothy Brow n; aged so
years, She lived with her husband fifty years
and:uied in the confident hope OF better life =
Here lies Bernard iighIfoot, who was acct
dentaliy killed in the forty-fth year of his age.
This monument was erected by. his. raieful
=: Current Literature: