The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-11-24
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

When bicycle enters the door, love
has been known to fly out of the win
| dow
All lovers are alike, aud that is why
they correspond. New Orleans Plea
| yune.
Another man has taken poison by
| jumping into the Chicago river Chi
cago Record.
She-"Do you see any beauty in
thes big sleeves?" He-"Yes; you"
-Roxbury Gazette.
Flat One-"When do you think
your boy will turn up?" Flat Two
Gas soon as find him, Truth.
She-"Has your friend Weddman
arrived at the age of discretion yet?"
He-"I'm afraid not; he's just mar
ried his third wife"
Haybale-"Marthy, Tn maxim
collection NV buttons" Mrs. Haybale
-"Wel, you kin do as you wish, but
1 haiut goin' to sew no more on. -.
Texas Siftings.
First Klondike Miner-"What are
you thinking of, Bill?" Second Klon
dixie Miner-"Why, was thinking
never knew what cold cash meant
before. Judge.
Miss Browniug-"Why do you per-
sist in being so naughty" Browning
Beans-"You don't want me to die, do
you, auntie; you know the good die
young?' The Yellow Book.
Reuben Railfence "How's yer new
hired man; purity rapid?" Henry Hoe
corn-"Rapid! That feller couldn't
get up by sunrise if we didn't keep the
clock over an hour slow.-Tammany
Times.
"Say, Jakey, gimme bite o. your
peach. "Naw, / won't" well,
gimme de stone" "Well, I'll give you
de stone. But it's mighty lucky for
you dat de peach amt a pear. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer
Western Cousin-'I am glad you
ride a bicycle. Have you ever done n
century," Boston Girl-"Oh, no.
Several times, however, have ridden
what l suppose You would call de-
cade. Chicago Tribune.
Bridget, how did it happen that
when we came in last night after the
theatre there was n policeman in the
kitchen?" "Sure, mum, Oh don't
know; but Oi think the theatre didn't
last rs long as usual. Chicago
Times Herald.
"The Colorado legislature has passed
law permitting women to join the
militia" remarked Mr. Snaggs. II
didn't know that Legislative enact
ment was necessary before women
could fight, replied Mr.. Henpeck.-
Pittsburg News.
"A man," said the lecturer, "can
live without water for Il week, without
sleep for ten days, aud without air for
five minutes. "There amt no par
ticular limit 10 the time he can live with
out work, is there?" auxiously asked
Mr.. Dismal Dawson.
Perkins, your wife seems very de-
voted TO her howers?" "Devotedl
Well, sir; many an October night that
woman has dragged the blankets of
my bed to keep those weazened little
geraniums from getting frost st-bitten. "
Detroit Free Press.
"What has become of Wagto1?"
asked the returned native. 'He was
one of the shining lights of society
when / was here" "He has lost his
money" said the resident, "and in
stead Of being a shining light, he is
what might be called flying light, -
Cincinnati Enquirer,
"Abner," said the good wife, II
wish you would stop at The store and
git me rubber ring for the baby to
cut his teeth on" "S'pOsen you give
him that there gold brick in the cup
, board?" said the farmer with grim
smile. "It worked all right with me. "
, Indianapolis Journal
English Tourist lin the far North,
miles from anywhere) )-'Do you mean
to say that you and your family live
, here all the winter? Why, what do
+ you do when any of You are i'll? You
! can never get Il doctor" Scotch
e Shepherd-"N sir; we've just tc
t dee a natural death, Punch.
3 "Tell me, doctor, asked the ambi
l tious young disciple of Galen, eager
Q Iy, "what was the most dangerous
Q case YOU ever had?" In cOntidenc,
Q now that 1 am about TO retire from
, practice" answered the veteran physi
g clan, frankly, 81 will confess that i
d was my medicine case. Puck,
+ zone time" said the traye'e'
boarder, 81 got showed in on tn
Rocky Mountains, aud the only thinl
q seven of us had for two days to sus
!. tain life was a half-barrel of pickle
n pigs feet" "You were, indeed, % SAT-
. the Cheerful Idiot, reduced to ex
8 tremities. indianapolis journal,
If In some parts Of Deyonshire tn
.e people live to be very old An ole
4. man of ninety, living quite a dlstanc
a from the nearest town, requiring som
t, family groceries, sent his son, ma
seyenty-odd years of age. Whe
ne son failed to show up with the pro
visions in time, his grandfather, a cen
II tenarian of lOS, said peeyishly, That
!, what comes from sending a KID '-
Tit-Bits.