The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-01-13
SAILING IN THE SKY.
CALAMITY JACKSON DEscRlBESAcoL-
LISION WITH A WHITE cYcLIST.

NEeaC NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. over Cows
When the regular weekly meeting of the
Thompson Street Bicycle club had been
opened in due form, President Toots an
nounced that all mem bers of the club rid
ing out after the first snowstor1n would
wear red wooden mittens distinguish
ing badge While any kind of a hat or cap
might be worn, he personally favored a
catskin cap, with red or blue wooden ear
flaps Catskin not only looked aristocratic
and jaunty, but was waterproof and warm
and would prevent any sort of hair oil from
freezing to the hair. The attention of the
members was also called to Brother Clay
toms patent cold annihil ator, invented
expressly for the use of colored people rid
ing the bike in winter. The patent con-
sists of jug of hot water attached to the
steering post. From the mouth of the jug
radiate four small rubber tubes. Two of
these are attached to the feet, third goes
down the back of the ne *, and fourth is
coiled around the body. The hot water cir
culates through the pipes and back to the
jug, and spirit lamp 1der the jug keeps
the water at the boiling point. The cost of
the continuance is only 81, and it is certain
to boom winter spins and mako them
thing of joy. The jug can be painted red,
green or yellow or decorated with land
scape or marine view. In case of q COLI
sion with street car or truck the hot
water from the broken jug shoots forward
and scalds everything in front.
Under the rules of the clu any member
who cannot learn to ride the bike in four
months is liable to suspension as an active
member. At this meeting a communica-
ton was received from Brother Stepback
Thompson, asking for an extension of time
to six months. For four months he had
faithfully practiced every day in the week.
The first 80 days were spent in loss of con-
seriousness, coming to and yVoL dering where
he was at. During the mex so he managed
to get into the saddle twice. He was now
able, with tho help of two boys and pea
nut man, to locate both I edaIs within five
minutes after getting OIL and the wheel
showed a disposition to keep in the road
instead of taking to the sidewalk. He was
sure lie would learn in time. If the extern
sion were granted, he would either be able
to zip along with the profession be will
ing to give it up and ssick to the razzle
dazzle. On motion of Brother S5arsaparilla
White the extension was granted and
vote of encOura cement g xtended.
Brother Calamity aokson was present
to explain his absence from the last two
meetings and to ask that his fines there
for be RENTED. His right arm was in d
sling, he limped on his left leg, and his
head was bandaged up until only one eye
and part of his chin could De seen. The
reason for his absence was a head on COLI
| sion with a white man on anc ther wheel.
| AS many CT clQO naQ OIt6 q wondered
what would be the effect of two riders COM
ing together when going at a ace of 5 or
! 20 miles hour, Brother j lcksons de-
scription was listened to with great inter
est. He said:
81 was a-gittin right along to git home
befo'. de thunder shower cum ! l was bent
! over de handle bar, eyes on de ground an
dem pedals jest a buzzin. Way off down
de street was a white man on "a wheel, an
! he was don jest de same as ma. He WASH f
! lookin for coons an I wasn't lookin fur
white folks. De fust thing knowed we
cum together wild a crash, an I j. st thought
seven street kyars had bumped together.
Den we boat took a fly. Del we boat
| yelled in chorus Den we boat cum down
at de same time, an de same ambulance
took boat of US to de hospital. AS fur dem
wheels, it wasn't no use to pick up de
| pieces 'cept to use fur tookp icks can t
zactly tell you what de sens; Etion was, but
my ha'r hain't got frew Gu Rim yet, an it
seems all de time as if 1 was saili11 around
up in de sky. De shrieks a q yells cuss
words of dat white man am still r ingin in
my ears, an when 1 close my eyes I kin
see wheels an spokes pedals an pieces of
| steel scattered all around ne
Brother Compromise Jor dan said he had
| been making some experiments with the
bike and was ready to report for tbss bene-
fit of the club. While riding in the suburbs
! he had run over COW lying in the rlad to
I tific standpoint His expects tions were
I fully realized. The COW rose up as the bike
hit her, and Brother Jordan and the bike
| both rose likewise, at the same time. They
also came down together, but the cow gAll-
i Hoped off. Brother Jordan thought he lay
unconscious for two long hours, but was
probably mistaken as to the length of time
1t cost him SO to be patched up by a sur
geon, however, and the repair to his wheel
footed up about 50. 1t was his opinio that
mem bers of the club had better avoio cows
no matter whether standing up lying
down.
He had heard members say that they
could jump their bikes over an open ditch
feet wide He had experimental with a
ditch only 2 feet wide. On approaching it
he had drawn in his breath and hum aed up
his back, according to instructions, b ut in
stead of the wheel jumping the ditch both
had gone into it, and for the next four
days he was wreck. 1t might be just
possible that a bikist could jump ditch
and thus save dismounting but his adj
vice was against experiments in that direc-
ton also. He had heard it said by mem
bers that wheelman could strike fat
pedestrian while riding at a clip of ton
miles an hour without other results than a
gentle rebound. He wished to warn all
such members that they were sadly mis-
taken. AS an experiment he had selected
a fat colored woman carrying basket of
laundry work, and there was nothing gem
tie in what followed. A clothesbasket, a
bike and lean man were all heaped up
together in the street, and a policeman
I who thought it was dog fight sailed in
and dubbed the whole business.
Brother Cantaloupe Harper explained his
absence from the last meeting by saying
that he had been experimenting with an
invention of his own to surprise dogs. He
had invented an arrangement to be at
tached to the front wheel of a bike which
picked up dog and dubbed him almost
to death, and then threw the pulveriz ec
body into the ditch. 1t had worked
! splendidly ON two or three dogs, when il
picked up a baby carriage and wrecked il