The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-09-26
GOT HIS DISCHARGE.
HOW A SWIFT PAGER FROM ClNcIN-
MATT WON $500.

In and Out of the Regular Armv All Tn
Ten Days-Ho Played tho Popular Gamo
of Fcigned Suicide and Took Possession
of the Chief Officers Quarters.
The medical department. Is regarded as
fair game by tho enlisted man In tho army
as well as in tho navy. In both services
thoro is fixed penalty for tho military
crimc OF malingoring-a word, by the
way, that is now conversationally obsolete
in tho services and hardly ever employcd
except in written official reports" benting
tho sick list" being tho modern fashion
of referring, by both officers and men. to
the crafty work of the mnligneror. 1t is
not often that tho maligncrer is brought
to book, however, owing to the extromo
difficulty usually encountered by the sur
gcons in proving an absolutely clear cnso
against him. To esta blish case against
malignorer Is generally a Job of such
proportions that few military SURGEONS
have the heart to attempt It,
1t Is not alone for tho purpose of escap
ing duty that the enlisted men of tho two
services cndeavor to deceive tho medical
departments. They quito often attompt to
get out Of the service upon the surgeons
recommendation.
The feigning of insanity has often been
successful within recent yenrs In cases of
men who wanted to doff their uniforms
without deserving CT buying their dis
charges. There was on extraordinary case
of this sort at ono Of tho western recruit
ing stations in 1891. In largo batch Of
recruits that arrived ono morning at tho
station was II we'll educated, clipper built
young chap from Cincinnati. Ho was In
appearance and manner so far and away
ahead of the othor follows in the batch that
he cnught the eyes of tho company cap
tains ut once, and each of them wanted to
get the promising looking recruit into his
company. The captain of tho company to
which tho recruit was assigned called tho
young fellow into his orderly room at once
and made n good deal of him.
On the Same afternoon this recruit from
Cincinnati was reported missing from his
company roll call. Tho captain instructed
tho first sergeant to institute search for
the man. Several men wero detailed for
the work of hunting him up, and they
searched the whole post high and low
without finding him. Then the guard
was notified of the recruits absence, and
the sergeant of tho guard was directed to
lind him and put him under arrest A
corporal and several sentrics prowled about
the garrison for an hour without discover
ing Sign of the missing recruit While
the corporal and sentries were still out on
their vain search the bell of tho guard
house telephone rang furiously. Tho tele-
phone communicated with tho command
ing officers quarters nlono, and the COM
handing officer was at his end in force.
is that you, sergeant of tho guartl2" he
inquired. well, oome over hero instantly
with about 20 files of the guard md have
'om load their guns with ball. There's a
"a ravlng lunatic of II recruit taken pos
session of my quarters. Come In II hurry. {"
The commanding officer explained after
ward what had happened. On returning
from his Office to his quarters he was sur
prised on approaching the house to hear
piano music, and remarkably fine piano
music at that, issuing from his pnrlor
All of the members Of his family, includ-
ing his daughters, were away on visit to
another post, and he knew that his middle
aged servant was always visiting her GRO
MES on "Soapsuds row. at that hour of
the afternoon. Moreover, mono of his
daughters, and certainly not the servant,
could produce such music. So he did not
know what to make of it. Hc walked up
the steps and through the wide open door
way in hurry, tho music still continu-
ing When he entered tho parlor, lie saw
a good looking soldier seated at the piano,
playing II Chopin nocturno with great feel
ing.
What tho dev''- tho commanding
officer started to cxclaim
Just minute. Willie" said the SOL
der turning to tho commanding officer
with hcatific smile and going on with
his playing. Don't interrupt me until L
finish this grazioso movement; then I'll
be at your service, mo man-anr And
he finished his performance with II mellow
chord and wheeled around on tho stool to
face the commanding officer, who was on
tho verge of apoplcxy.
"Confound you, what the meaning of
all this blankety blank''-
softly, softly, mo man." said the good
looking soldier with appraised hand and a
sudden look of seriousness on his connie
nance. You don't want to find Yourself
in tho gunrdhouso, d. you? Well, III have
you there in just til. 70 minutes if L hear
any moro of such l,nguago. What tho
deuce do you mean ~ forcing yourself in.
to my quarters anyhow? I'll tell you what,
Willie, tho sooner you get it through your
head that I'm in command of this parri-
SOM
The commanding officer had enough
strength loft To reach the telephone in the
next room and rin2 up the gnardhouso
The recruit from Cincinnati followed him
INFO tho room and stood smiling while tho
commanding officer talked over the wire.
IN turn tho tables on you, Willie
whom the guard arrives, " he said and then
ho walked over to the sidobonrd and poured
out two stiff drinks of brandy from the
decanter Meantime, Willie, you may
drink my health and my success as major
general commanding tho army of tho
United States" and he was just handing
the commanding officer the glass whom the
sergeant and sentries entered the room Mt
IA lODo, The rpcruit from Cincinnoti ctr,,o