The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-03-13


Modern slang: Hell am ao,n
kiss you. she-Well, l like that,~TSown
Topics.
he-Well, your sister Is married Now
us your turn. she-Oh, Georger ask
papa.-New York Journal.
Tourist-Are we near the fails, cr,da
Yes, sir. AS soon as the lad,as sto,,
talking you can hear the yorktown
Topics.
i don't see your mistletoe." said he.
glancing up at the chandelier rs II
really necessary" replied she arcb,v
1t wasn't-Judge.
us your picture In the academy q suc-
cessY That's what am WONDERING
Some one said 1t was worth the nrice
Of admission Punch.
He-Jones is all right, suppose. but
he and l do not like each other a hit
She-Well, that is much to the credit
Of both of you.-Cinclnnati ENQUIRER.
Amateur Humorist-Thats pretty
good joke OF mine; don't you think so?
Experienced Edltor-Well. It is Just as
funny now as 1t ever s.-Someryille
Journal.
Jinks-What tender care your wife
takes Of you. Always worrying about
your health. Bllnks-Yes; | have my
life insured in favor of my sister,
New York Weekly.
Brown-I wonder who originated the
idea that 1t is unlucky to begin anything
on Friday? Robinson-Probably 1t was
some lazy individual who preferred to
wait until Saturday.-Puck.
you don't mean to say you became
engaged to him after but five hours ac-
quaintance| Certainly. How much
time would you have me devote to one
engagementT-Brooklyn Life.
Bobby-Is oxygen what the oxen
breathe all day? Papa-Of course, and
what everything else breathes Bobby
And is nitrogen what every one
breathes at night?-New York World.
This world is but fleeing show,
And few are they, alasi
Who can rake up a pull that's strong
Enough for a free pass
indianapolis Journal
"Those Eskimos up in Alaska have
good, sound common sense" "How SOP
why, when they fall in love with a
girl they announce it by sending her a
sealskln cque."-Chicago Record.
Shell presume the country editors
pathway is not strewn with flowers?
He (pleasantly)-No, not exactly; but
we stumble on a bushel Of potatoes &C.
casionally, or a cord of wood.-Detroit
Tribune
Sister-There. you have candy all over
your new suit What will mamma
say? Little Brother-Well, mamma
won't let me have any fun in these
clothes till l got 'em spoiled.-Boston
Traveller.
Ragged Reuben-It's dis yere Import
ed pauper labor OATS ruinin' all our
prospects. Tattered Jimmy - Sure
'nuffl Desc European noblemen are
comm over here and snatchln' the pick
of orr 'Merican girlsl-Bazar.
First Horse-Well, they took poor old
Dobbin to the slaughter-house today.
Second Horse-That's too bad. First
Horse-It is bad, but worse remains
They mean to make his hide into d.
cvcle-saddles.- Indianapolis Journal
"Any snakes in this neghborhoodF'
asked the Northern visitor. ITS cord
in to what you want" replied the
moonlight manipulation; "a pint might
fetch 'em. but we give guarantee
with every quart"-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
.What | want" said the lawyer. is
TO nroye that my client is mentally de-
ficient." Certainly" replied the eA-
pert 'sThere won't be the least trouble
In showing that, so long as he mas en-
Moved YOU as his lawyer. Washing
ton Star
Toughmug-Chimmi wot has be
came of Dippy Pete lately: Chlmmle.
do Sport-Well. you see. he got to dom
everybody he could, and now Iougn-
mug-Well? Chimmie. de Sport-he
doin' tlme,-Cincinnati Commerci"
Tribune.
T,mmins-This talk about the type
writer being a drawback to genius Is
all rot. do all of my poems WIN a
tvpe-writer. Simmons-You do: l nau
an idea that you made them with SET
of rubber stamps.-Indianapolis jour-
nal.
81 shall have to learn how to play tne
fiute- said Maud, as she watched .ne
autist in the hotel orchestra; see now
gracefully he hold is it. II l couiu nV,u
an ear of corn as gracefully as Ne noius
that flute l should not be afr'ia='o eat
it off the cob."-Bazar.
Prof decturing)-oxygen, gentlemen,
t. essential to all animal existence
,here could be no life without It.
strange to say. it was not discovered
mil a century ago, whenzz- Stuoen'
~What did they do before twas aus
covered Internationally "orus'
-NIav write you poem on tne
beautiful snowg" asked the poet I'M
idIv ayes" Numbered the editor, go
out squat down in the snow anu VIII" .''ss.
In The meantime, I'll sit here ana pray
NAT ss fast as you write thetsun VIII
a' 80 rt"-PhiladelDhia North