Mesa free press., 1897-12-10

Kate-I think that Cholley has some
thing on his mind. Polly-If he has, ne
must be good at balancing.-Somerviile
Journal
'Now that have got my hay IN
said the relieved farmer, II think the
world would be greatly better for
good shower"
Gabber-What does your son do for
living? Nabber--He's a scientific box
err. CABRERA pugilist? Nabber-No;
undertaker.-Life.
First Seaside Belle-But how can you
be certain that you are his first love!
Second Seaside Believed, he only
got down here last night Sketch.
Shell know I'm cross at times, John;
but, If had my life to live over again,
should marry you just the same He
have my doubts about that, my dear
Friend-Well, Ethel, how do you like
married life. Ethel enthusiastically
Its simply delightful. We've been
married week, and have had eight
quarrels, and got the best Of 1t every
time.
"Mein Fraulein, love your said an
impecunious German youth at Ham
burg ball. excuse me-yonder Is my
business manager" replied the young
lady, pointing with her fan to her
father.
| Clara-How under the sun did Edith
happen to marry Mr.. Awkward? Dora
He was the bane of her life at every
ball she attended, and I presume she
married him to keep him from wanting
to dance with her.
II WONDER" said young lady, "why
Hymen is always represented as carry
! ing a torch?" To which an old bache-
Tor sneeringly responded: ITO indicate
that he always makes 1t warm for peo-
pie who marry"
Women somehow get over childish
notions that men never OutgroW. Some
men celebrate the anniversary Of every
birthday as long as they live, while
women abandon the childish custom al
most as soon as they grow up.
what did her father say when you
told him that you wanted to marry his
daughter, Rivers?" "Well, Banks, he
didn't absolutely refuse, but he impos-
ed very serious condition" what
was itY' ''He said he would see me
hanged first"
His Fellow Feeling.--Paterfamilias-
Look here, Dick, you've been bit wild
yourself in your day and I'd like some
advice. What am to do with Harry?
The young rascal exceeds his allow
ance every month. Cousin D1ck-ln-
crease it.-Chicago Journal.
Seeker observe that Professor
Stage has been lecturing on "How to
Become a Christian Athlete" 1 Won
der what that means? Sageman-Thats
an easy one. A Christian athlete Is
one who is continually jumping from
one religion to another.
Mrs. De Pink am amazed, sir, that
YOU should propose to my daughter.
Why, she has only just left boarding
school, and you have not known her
week! Young Man-True, madam; but
I have known you for some time, and
everybody says your daughter takes
after you.
The Londoner-Our universal provid-
ing houses are so large that a small
bow has been known to outgrow the suit
he bought in the rear of the shop While
walking to the street door. The Chica-
goan-Huh! We have got department
houses so big in Chicago that the floor
walkers all have to use bicycles.-ln-
dianapolis Journal.
Madam" said a young lady to her
| preceptress at boarding school, "Mr.
| Bellfair has come to take me out to
drive. May go, madam? ?" "You know,
miss, that our rules do not allow 1t,
unless you are engaged. Are you en-
gagged to Mr.. Bellfair?" "N-no; not
exactly; but if you let me go, I shall be
by the time we get back"
"Do you believe in a third party?"
asked old Dimming (referring to the
| political situation) of his daughters
| beau, as all three sat in the parlor.
'Well," replied the young man, who
had not called to discuss politics, Il
wouldn't have thought Of asking you to
| retire; but since you mention it, Mr..
Dimmick, I will say that it is the gen.
eral belief that two are company"
81 don't believe l quite understand
your contention" said the judge to the
bicyclist; "it seems that the prisoner Is
a house-mover; that he was moving a
small frame house at the time of the
trouble; and that you ran into the
house. l can't see what offense he has
committed ''But, your honor" pro-
tested the bicyclist, II rang my bell
when l was half block away, and he
paid no attention to it."-Detroit Jour
| nal