The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1897-02-11
NO BALM FOR BOWsER.

A Bad Day at the Oisice Is Followed by
Very Bed Evening at Hcme--The Bro
ken Pane, the Ruined Fence and the
Knee Sprung Furniture.
Mrs Bowser was looking out of the Win
dow the other evening as Mr.. Bowser
dlopped off the car which had brought him
home, and the instant his feet struck the
g1ound she knew she was In for an even
irg of trouble. There was certain hitch
to his legs and a certain hump to his shout
dsrs which meant mischief. AS he reached
tie gate he kicked 1t open and then kicked
itshut, and there was stony glare in his
e.es as he unlocked the front door and
d,opped his hat on the floor.
''Are you Ill, dearp' queried Mrs Bow
ser as she came forward
ZIP" he growled in reply. "The Won
der is that am not in my gravel"
"Why, what on earth's the matter?
Have you got one of your old fashioned
h@daches?''
sold fashioned boshl suppose hash
isready, but don't want any! You can
gcalong and eat by YOURSELF"
Shan 't-shan't I send for the dootorf"
she stammered.
Send for nothing or nohody!" be shout
edas he passed on to the sitting room ana
sa; down ON the lounge with jar which
shook the house.
Mrs. Bowser knew that it was useless to
pesist, and she went to her dinner alone.
Wien she had finished and returned, MT.
Bawser WAS standing before the fireplace,
with his arms on the mantel. be looked
ather for 80 seconds as the lion looks as
hi prey before killing and then said:
Woman, things have got to go different
around this house or I leave ttP'
why, what's the matter nowf" she
asked.
Ten thousand things are the matter.
WHO took sledge hammer and broke that
pane of glass in the front Window"
eThat pane of glass2 Why, you cracked
1T ihe day you were hanging picture and
fell off the stepladder. Don't you remem-
be.?''
sNeverl Never hung a picture OF fell of
the stepladder in my life! In order to
spite me some one has deliberately de-
stroyed pane of glass that cost s2S. Who
has been tearing our fence down since !
left the house this morningP"
Clearing the fence DOWN."
81 said tearing the fence down, Mrs.
Bovser You probably spent half the day
pulling at ID and encouraging mob OF
boys to create 800 damages. -
sHow foolish of you, Mr. Bowser! II
you are i'll, let me make you some toast
and tea or send for the doctor. "
sEere is the gas BILL" he said as he
H. "A
around his head ga gas bill for So for
the last month. -
aYes, it came today" she replied.
at came today, did itp Came today.
Three dollars for last month"; Mrs. Bow
ser, you couldn't think of any other way
to yank the last dollar had on earth out
of my wallet, and SO you deliberately
turned on the gas every day for week OF
two and let it go to waste. Is it any won
der that ] m ready to lie down and dies"
"I'm sorry the bill ss so high" she
onietly replied, "but couldn't help it. 1t
il dollar lower than it was last month,
and it would have been lower still If you
hadn't sat up nearly all night for the last
three nights playing cards with MIR.
Davis"
'sNever! Never sat up single night.
Never played cards. Don't even know a
man named Davis. VIII you look at this
carpet, Mrs Bowserp Is this pigpen or
sitting room of man who tolls from
daylight to dark to make living for this
familyg"
whats the matter with thu carpet?"
"Moths, Mrs Bowser" he whispered,
with tragic gesture. 'Large, fat and juicy
moths, which you have deliberately lugged
In here to eat up my household stuff! They
have grown fat and lazy feeding on my
carpets See that hole, and that, and that?"
"There isn't moth in this house, and ]
defy you to find one!" she spiritedly re-.
piled. "This carpet is beginning to wear,
but I've no money to buy new one.
"Don't talk back to me, Mrs. Bowserl
When I say thing is SO, that settles it'll
Every night for month past have been
bitten and clawed and wounded in my
bed. BY what? Who went out and bought
or borrowed them and put them in my bed
to harass and annoy and spite me? And
OH top of that you ask me If l am I'LL
Great Scott but such cheekP
Mrs. Bowser walked over and sat down
by back window and picked up news
paper. Something had gone wrong with
Mr.. Bowser at the office, or his stomach or
liver had become upset, and he must have
a victim. That's the way with the aver
age husband. When things go wrong, he
must take it ont of somebody, and II ha
can't find anybody else his wife will do.
She realized that he had ole Of his ''spells'