The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-01
CALENDAR FOR DECEMBER.

]. several hiSh school boys decline 10
continue farther educational acQusi-
tons as it might unit them as jurors
on a nice CORY murder trial
.. A naughty play bill on the Cusicll
boards is burned by its own bushes.
8. The Rowing association gets an order
for boats end an offer from a swell
coacher to fit d crew tor d big re-
gatta.
1. Editor Lynett, in view of an APP
preaching poor board election, be-
slows another column of editorial
jolly on Republicans he has been
fighting.
5. Several prominent church members
who have held interests in nickel-in-
the-slot machines decide to sell
their claims and join the Good Citi-
zens' league.
6. The number of people who don't
care to be Mr.. Amerman's success
sor as Handley executor, continues
to decrease.
7. The man who kicks about boss rule,
admits that he simply wants to
change bosses.
S. j. NJ. Chittcldcn. jr, buys a reindeer
for use in the Klondikc.
.. Saloon men meet and pass resolutions
suggesting that the First PrcSbytc-
rian and Baptist churches move up
town.
10. The editors of papers in LaCkawa ma
county who have not yet published
a book of poems decide to pool their
productions in one volume.
IL. Many people continue to complain of
the depravity Of this city anI yet re-
fuse to contribute to the Rescue Mis-
sion frnd.
l.. Republican girl clerks in the court
house learn that they aren't needed
by new Democratic incumbents.
lG. Several would-bc congressman aren't
so anxious to be candidates If liquor
is not to be sold in the government
buildings.
Il. Editors of yellow Sunday journals suf-
fer from biliousncss.
10. Auction sale Of scholarships at Wilkes
Barre.
l6. Rural seekers of knowledge in Lu-
zernc take to the woods
TX. Local brewery people decide that
brewing is not a nice business and
that they will form a plumbing and
ice consolidated combination.
H. Santa Claus visits the bargain coun-
ter.
10. Many wise men form a syndicate and
buy the Home for the Friendlcss
property for big new apartment
house.
20. y. Own Charley writes the first chap
ter of a book entitled "Ananias
Journalism as a Means of melting
Religious War"
2l. Christian Endeavorers invest the sums
realized from the "lady conductor
street car enterprise in Klondike real
estate.
30. The New England society members
enjoy their banquet to such a degree
that their families do not have Il
good time while that attack of the
gout lasts.
%. Manager Davis decides that Al Reeves
brain Is all wool but is only about a
half yard wide.
81 \ band Of tramps makes a collection
or Christmas turkeys Ieft indiscrCet-
ly in accessible refrigcrators and
fares sumptuously several days.
p. The star applicant for the Handlcy
eXecutorship vacancy gets a gold
brick in his stocking.
70. The man who didn't nay his election
bets has bad dreams.
81 The councilman appearing with now
diamond pin is Immediately sized
as being of the $500 a bunch
2S All the men to whom Wade Finn has
promised the poor board collector
ship hold a meeting and agree to do
something
90 The members and New Year ball COM
mittee stay up all night trying to
devise something novel and startling
for their big ball, but decide the
Bachelors have left nothing undonc.
80. Mr.. NernOy almost begins to wish he
had enlarged the borders of his
Christmas tree.
81. The public generally prepares to well
come the New Year with the usual
good resolutions.