The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-11-26

Judge Herbert J. DAvIs. whcse knowl-
tdge Of law keeps the Western Union out
OF whole lot Of trouble, l. one man who
has given some thought to AID, Plotkc's
crusade against football. The judge con-
ft9es that he never played the game and
Appends 70 his abatement the assurance
that he would be sorry indeed to 80 Il dis.
established a. an autumnAl religion. and
he gives his reasons.
When was a boy he says. II used
to regret that tho unstudied chance Of
birth lad not brough, me into being la the
days when Camelot was thriving me-
tropcls and Iew knight came battcrlrS
and pounding his shield almost daily. crAv.
Ing an opportunity to 60 charging with
spear aud sword at Launce,ot du Lac. l
used TO read OF those grand old occasicns
wher true ana valiant knights went out
and hewed humanity and dealt tic So
called kidney blow wherever Il would do
the most good. Now am glad my entry
into the world was delayed matter ot 4
dozen centuries. for Tristan and Gawain
and the rest Of them we're insipid tame
and colorless compared with tho football
players Of these times.
Il went with some mikgivings to the
tourney ground last Saturday. II did not
seem to me that the mere fact OF getting
bali OF wind from the middle Of trace
OF land to thing made OF three scant-
lings at one end could afford any thrilling
interest. but ! was mistaken. II was great
There are. OF course, certain clement
airy principles which any one can readily
learn. Thus, In ten minutes l discovered
that when the man who has the ball ro-
ccives fracture OF tho left elbow accom-
panied by n grapevine twist Of tho spine
that means that his side Is entitled to
three extra trumps and big casino. And
when the opposition captain caves la unupr
I'VE crushed ribs and has his left knee
poktd permanently INTO his right ear that
Indicates that the other side has made
seven points and is out of the hole. There
are some other fundamental IDEAS, knowl-
edge OF which is easily attained
The game started hravely. man OF
about the size OF Norman draft horse =
one q. that kind that wears a full beard
over each ankie--gave the ball a toss backl
ward. and a tall disreputahle looking fell
low grabbed II and turned to east north
Vast by -three-quarlcTs- north and kicked
the nearest man in tho stomach, For this
he was entitled to Ave yards OF terrft. ry
and had he promptly raised his hand and
yelled, Judgment at the referee he would
have heen allowed that advantage; but
while he was getting ready to file his claim
two men from the opposition team rushed
up and threw him into the air so that he
came down on his neck IN lump. They
then leapod upon him and tried to stamp
him to death with their feet. They only
succeeded In rendering him unconscious.
which gave them three points,
III you kick man Into insensiblity that
gives you three points. IL you kill him Il
counts you n touchdown and double six,
Remember this. 1t Ia a valuable point Ia
know In case you ever play the game. Ex
cep ing the trumpng of a partners ace
In whist, nothing is 80 reprehensible as Ia
beat man unconscious In a football game
when you have abundant opportunity to
kill him.
AFTER these men had claimed their DUE
for properly manning the other, aud after
the surgeons had hurried out and reviewed
he case ard had decidfd that II WAS really
one OF disability deserving OF three marks
In the record. the whole company gath.
cred In the center OF the field and hon'
over each man with shoulder 10 his
opponent on the other side This was fol
the purpose OF getting frceway for the col
llision OF collar bones. II you break another
mans collar bone 1t counts twelve fol-
game, and game Is two points. The prep
arution for collision is therefore care
fully made. AT a signal from big maA
with legs like the piers Of a huge br dc
Ia concerted dash was made and n Jungfrau
OF flesh and bone and arms and legs wac
formed. After few moments OF writhiag
with one large parsonage climbing TO the
top like an Alpine tourist, tho mass set
tied down to an interviewer solidlty The
medical men were again called 10 balance
up tho books. / knew how II would be
for | had watched carefully. The forcigt
team had scored two crushed elbow joints
three sprung Ribs, one eliminated eye fv.
missing cars and broken leg; the homs
outfit had wrought only the most meagei
and ingiorous damage--that IL to say, =
splintered arm, seven square inches oil
scalp, two wrtnched knees and four bleed
ing noses The computation OF the poInts
gave the home team 10 10 the outsldera
20; net score to the foreign element. seveI
points; or, to express II In u linear way
twenty one yards. This, OF course, brought
the ball close In upon the poorly defended
goal OF the homo outfit. and the quicl
manipulations OF the others very 5000
ended the strife they winning the business
by score OF eight dis.ocations In cxce6,
o. the Chicago tram nve bfhFOfa mann
inEs We all yelled out our applause, es-
peciaily enc man with a megaphone who
went almost deirious at tho spectacle OIL
a big fellow turning thrice in the air and
coming down with shock which impaired
tho foundations OF Smell hall. across thu
street
at "a not worth my while TO tell OF
yours 10 listen to tho story OF the rest o.
the game. II WAS inspiring In general u
LII 1. .I<S - kAu ri Itrfn
think the Invading tean won by score
Of 20 TO s. divided thus:
THE Outside outft-~Four broken kneei
t2M). Elk skinned elbows f3), two frac
turfE collar bones t2), one man uncon.
scieus t3). ore with leg and an arm
broken ts), various minor maimings Gh)
total. 20.
1.-THE Home Team---one lost ear ~
enc broken nose ~. seven minor bone'
brolpan (3tsj. two wrenchcd knees w, TO-
cideDta's i1A): total. 8.
II like It all very much. II is good
frfn a