Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-06-17
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world mas moved In cycles. SprOcket
what make%-Philadelph North
American.
Fogg says he Is immoderately fond Of
red hair, because Ii looks so much bet
ter after 1t has turned gray.-Boston
Transcript.
She-"You looked like fool when
you proposed to me-" He (gloomily)-
well, why didn't you tell me before
1t was too lateT-Detroit Tribune.
Minnie-'T want to Introduce you to
young lady-a very nice young lady
and she's worth her weight in gold"
Bob-"Stout girl, hope."-Tit-Bits.
Hobson-"What do you think patriot
ism is" Dobson-"It's a willingness
to allow all your wife's relatives to 60
to the war."-New York Advertiser.
Judge-Well, now that you are back.
YOU can tell us how much 1t costs to
so to Europe. "All you've got and all
you can borrow over there Baltimore
News.
Mrs. Howso-"Did you attend Mrs.
Cumrock's funeral yesterday" Mrs.
SaidsO-"When she owes me a call?
Why, the very ideav-Washingto
Times.
Then you agree with the Rev. Mr..
Straitlace on the question Of eternal
punishment "Not exactly. We both
believe in 1t, but I'm not in favor Of it."
Truth.
Employer thought you wanted to
go to your grandmother's funeral this
afternoon" Office Boy-"Please, sir.
1t was postponed on account of wet
grounds. Truth.
Miss Towney lin search of the idyilic,
at last meets real, live shepherd
Pray, tell me, gentle shepherd, where
is thy pipe?" The Gentle Shepherd
II left 1t at come, mum. cause amt
got no 'baecyy,I iF Bits.
FINISHED your projected kineto-
scope yet?" asked the idle man. 1T
works beautifully, said the inventor,
'but the hardest part Is to come"
whats that?" Getting up a name
for Cincinnati Enquirer.
II would gladly lay the world at your
feet" the young man exclaimed. Dear
me-" sighed Mabel, II almost wish you
hadn't said that" why" Father Is
always saying you act as If you own
the earth. Washington Star.
where did you get the pretty bow
for your hair, Nellie?" Guess it was
yours once, wasn't itT 'Why no, why
do you think that?" "Cause sister
gave it to me, and heard her say she
gets all ours."-Harper's Bazaar.
Mistress-"Did you ask for milk
bread?" Domestic-"Yes. num-" Mis-
tress-"Wbat a miserable little loaf
they gave you?" Domestic-"Yes,
mum. It's my opinion. mum, that the
baker is usin' condinsed milk."-Dublin
World.
mo man ever got RICH" said the
cornfed philosopher, 'by sitting down
and thinking what he would do If he
had S1,OO0,O00. The fellows who got
there did so by thinking whom they
should do to get 81 900, O00."-Indianap-
oils Journal.
Henry, you look very pale. WHAT'S
the troubleT" Il was stung to the
quick by an adder this afternoon"
How did it happen!" "Why, l drop
ped in at a bank, and the bookkeeper
told me my account was overdrawn."-
Golfers Weekly.
s'The difference between the Wagner
ties and the anti-Wagnerites is quite
simple" What Is it? well, when
the Wagnerite can't understand Wag-
ner. he thinks 1t is his own fault, while
the anti-Wagnerite, under similar cir
cumstances, thinks it is Wagner's
fault."-Puck.
"It was really most enjoyable occa-
sion," remarked Miss Cayenne. Then
you regard it as worthy of being class
ed with the social successes Of the sea-
SOM "Oh. dear no. l couldn't think
of going so fa- as that. No one has yet
Informed me how much it cost
Washington Star.
Gadaround-I witnessed perform
ance Of Hamlet" by village amateurs
out at Waybackville the other night.
Snarley-Must have been distressing?
Gadaround-On the contrary, 1t was
highly amusing. Not one Of the actors
forgot to say "exit" every time he left
the stage.-Puck.
II guess Jim can get away for that
fishing party al! right" What makes
YOU think SOP" 81 was up to his house
last night. His wife used to be an
amateur elocutionist before they were
married, and he asked her to recite!
She'll never refuse him now."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
II was surprised to hear that Pencil
ope had broken her engagement. !
thought she was determined to stick
to him In spite Of the opposition Of her
father" 'She was, but the idiot wrote
her some poetry, as he called it. And
he rhymed her name with let us then
elope.' That settled him" Cincinnati
Enquirer.
a Parliamentary Hint.-It was get
ting late, and still the venerable ex-
United States Senator fingered in the
parlor with the young people. Evident
ly something had to be done. 81 hope,
papa" said his daughter, gently but
-esolutely, that you will not be Offend
ed IL l now move a call of the house,
during which all persons not entitled
to the floor will please retire. while
Charlie and 1 discuss question Of per-
sonal privilege. Truth.
r..f..