New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-02-03
Anecdotes. X Y X

| DCdte lot very grave oNtHSt. NC Jul y
were slow in coming to an agreement
and many people were waiting about to
know the verdict. At this stage Of af-
fairs colorcl bailiff came out Of the
iury-room and fastened down one of the
corridors.
"Hold on ! hold on.' called out IA man
who was waiting. 'sHave the jury
agreed!' . 5--..
"Yis, dey done agreed" said the bal
lift, grinnipg.
whats the verdict?''
"Well, boss,'' said the bailiff, aye see
twas diserway: Dey was some on 'em
wanted sandwiches, an some on 'em
wanted pie; an bum by dey done greed
dey'd hab some crackers m cheese, an
dey SEN meIout fer to fot.h 'em"'
A German one day expressed himself
as being somewhat offended because an
American gentleman had asserted that
bis Teutonic countrylnen could not, as a
rule, appreciate American jokes.
"Try one on me.' said he, detiantly,
and the American accordingly told him
the story of the tree "out West' which
was so high that it took two men to see
to the top. One of them saw as far as
he could, and then the second began to
look at the spot where the first stepped
seeing.
The recital dld not raise the ghost of
smile upon the Germans face, and the
other said to him:
"Well, you see the joke IS lost on you.
You can't appreciate American humor."
ooh, but said the German, ''dat's
not humor. OATS Won lier'
The prosecuting attorney in the circuit
court of all Illinois county some wears
ago was a lawyer whose early education
had been defective, but who was so
shrewd and long-headcd that few more
dangerous antagonists could be found in
that region.
At one time he had procured the in
dictment Of well-known scamp for
theft. The amount alleged to have been
stolen was five dollars, ard at that time
the penalty for stealing five dollars or
more was Imprisonment at hard labor in
the penitentiary. For stealing less than
that the punishment was confinement in
the county Jail without labor.
Tie evidence proved beyond dispute
the stealing Of a fve-dollar bill of the
State Bark Of Illinois, but the prison
er's counsel brought several business
men to swear that it was not worth its
face in gold; but all agreed that in or
dinary transactions it would pass for five
dollars.
Over this testimony the prlso n.r's
counsel quibbled for tive hours, while
the prosecuting attorney listened in pa
tience.
When his turn came ne rose quietly,
and in his usual nasal drawl said:
"Gentlemen, hope the learned coun-
sci won't get offended if don't talk but
just one minute. All I've got to say IS
this: The prisoner don't pretend to deny
that he stole our money, and all he asks
of you is just to give him the privilege
of stealln' it at discount
He sat down, and the jury sent the
thief to the penitentiary without leaving
the box.
o .s o o
There is such a thing as Icing too per-
sistently complimentary. A candid and
well-meaning professor, who had wit
messed the performance of a little play
in private house, in which his hostess
had taken the leading part, met the Ia
dy as she came from behind the curtain.
"Madam." he said, rushing up to her.
s:you played excellently the part fits you
to pe,fection.'
s.Oh no, professor said the lady mod
estly; '.a young and pretty woman is
needed for that part
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