The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-24
DOLAN AND RAFFERTY,.
The Former Explains About Cuba's War,
and the Latter Protests.

and the Latter Protests.
Mr.. Dolan and Mr.. Rafferty, had sat for
some time in silence before the kitchen
stove, when the former remarked:
''Talkin about foightin, Rafferty,.
'Oi nivver said word an the subject
protested his neighbor.
''No, but We wor t'inkin about it. An,
whole we're an the topic, what's yer
opinion av the war in Cuba?''
''There's no use az me tellin it" was the
reply in tones of discourag cement. cts
changed twoice since day bcfoor yesterday,
an its 1oikely to be altogether diffrunt
ag'in be tolnorry. Wan day Ohm dancin
a reel an singin songs av victory wild the
insurgents, an the next Ohm no cheerful
Ter nor q yard av Grape Yez can't tell by
the reporters whether the Cuban COVER
mint is ready fur wake or n christenin. -
''Thot's simply because yez don t under
shtan the shtcile av warfare thot's goin
an, - responded Mr.. Dolan, with sage dig
nifty. "What you want is a war, wild
printed programmes all music an recita-
lions in between, here an there, to add to
the diversion. Don't you worry about the
insurgents. 'Tain't the vans thot gets
into the papers the most tonnes thot's
likeliest to get the decision DO left in
peaceable possession av the purse. Thin
Cubans, 1oike most smart people, is quote
in their tastes. They don't care fur shtoile.
They go till battle in their Everyday
clothes, the same as if twas work. A
Spannard is diffrunt. He can't foight
wild comfort unless he hov a shave, a
hair cut, an a clane pair av cuffs An
whin he's been an duty very short whole
it takes long vacation to put i'm in con-
dition ag'in. Wan av the first things thot
wor done whin they decided to how a war
were to provoide themselves wild trocha."
IVAN av thin things thot's good fu1
coughs, colds, sore t'roats an hoarseness,'
assentcd his auditor knowingly.
Rafferty,, tie a weight an yer inti1li-
gence If ye don't, it'll fly away wild ye-
A trocha is a STRUCTURE av briclbats, an
old bar'lS, an ashes, an tynlaty cans, an
anything else thot happens to be handy to
make the divoidin 1oine bechuno the two
armies. Now, the first thing he knows,
Gineral Woiler gifts notice from the Span
ish gover'mint that he's Ii bic to lose is
job if he don't win a victory Thin Vol
Ter gifts vexed an says, discouraged loike;
'Murtherin Moikel More work. What dc
thin people want fur their money!
"How much does he get?'
ooh, dunno, exackly- But Oh don't
doubt thot a good gineral thot knows is
business kin how shteady work at eight Oh
tin dollars q day"
'sBe the powers, it's fine thradei''
"Thin he goes out wild lis army. As
soon as they see i'm comm the insurgents
get over an their own soide av the trocha,
not havin any I 'asons fur takin risks ag' in
superior numbers. Thin the Spannards
shteps first wan fut an thin the other over
the trocha, an thin they say, 'Hooroo, yez
Cuban spalpeensl' only not very loud, an
in a minute they're boick the way to
town as fasht as the horses II take EN-
The mkt thing the Spannards do is to pre-
pare fur the CELEBRATION av the victory. An,
whole they're singin songs an tellin shto-
ries an passin n dhrop now an thin, along
comes the Cubans, who wor watchin 'eln
all the tonne, moind yez, an takes posses
sion av any troops an provisions an am
minition they kin lay their hams on An
the Spannar1s is thOt busy Inerrymakin
an pinnin medals an one another thot they
niver know what happened till next day
''An the Cubans done thot, said Kater-
ty, whole the inirny wor takin their re-
taxation in the avenin?'
''To be sure!''
"Dolan, it's wrong. We ought to sind
'e1n a committee. !"
t'But a1l's fair in war.
"Oi don't care. It's case fur a walkin
delegate. 1t amounts to the same ting as
workin overtoime, an it sets dang zoua
example Washington Star.