The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1897-01-02
SMYTH HATED WALKING, BUT HE
OUTFOOTED THE HAPPIEsT AT
THE WILL.
EARLY MORNING SKETCHES.
AN INCIDENT ANENT THE MISSING
OF THE INTERURBAN "OWL"
CAR.
FROLIC AFOOT BETWEEN TOWNS
Results in the Discontinue of the
Optimist, and the Jubilee of the
Crank.

Midnight stole apace over the town,
and the hour of midnight doomed out
with big bumps from the belfry bell
Here and there a weary cabman was
pacing up and down along the curb
stone waiting for a fare and the price
of red hot. A police sergeant had
just given his two little toots to see
II his lady-killing patrolman at mar
ket house corner was doing his duty
and, receiving the answering toot from
up the street, strolled on and stopped
TO talk with WienerWurst man.
From UP the street the red tail light
OF the last interurban car sent back
impudent and tantalfzing remarks to
the group of Minneapolis FOUNDERS who
had missed the owl" The FOUNDERS
were really wroth, none of them hav-
ing the price of a bed, and all being
too tired to walk the ten long inter-
Vening miles between them and the
Mill City.
There were two extremes in the
party, embracing the very afltipodes
Of human characteristics. 1t always
happens that the extremists run the
gang. The mush and milk constitu-
ents always fall in with the views of
the extremists and abide by the re-
suits, be it for better or for worse.
Their mental makeup is not strong
enough to make their originality or
personality triumph over the extrem-
lists, so it always happens that the
latter always boss the push. The ex-
tremists in this belated gang separ-
ated by an unfathomable gulf. One
was an optimist and a philosopher,
while the other was a pessimist. No.
hard knocker, a croaker and dyspep-
Az he tot 1icrhf Of hn 1na
disappeared around the curve at the
top Of Capitol hill, there were stimuli
taneous remarks from the extremists.
What tell anyhow" drawIed the OPP
timist
Blank the blank luck, anyhow"
snapped the knocker and pessimtst
from the other end Of the line
4 knew this would happen. I told
you so in the first place. You are to
blame for this JONES' wheeling sud-
denly around to the philosopher who
You Saw Me, And They viii Buy The
Booze"
This is your fault and you know it.
You might have hurried up little when
you knew it was getting late. This is
a nice fix isn't it now. That's right,
keep on whistling and make fool of
yourself. You are just trying to make
believe you do not care. Your kind Of
people always do that Why don't the
rest of you say something? What are
we going to do? Who has any money?
Where can we go? I'll bet Jones is
broke as usual. You make me tired
Jones, /"
Now my dear Smyth, why is it that
In the might of your nocturnal displeas-
ure do you fasten upon me as the OBJ
ject Of your abuse and spleen? Your at
titude is untenable, kind sir. You are
tlA 1y1onN 70 he h.
knockee, but forsooth, I'll cut my SUI
Spenders If you will give any good
reason why your bill of complaint
should not be dismissed. File your
answer, sir; what have you got? You
must eat crow or get off the curb stone
and let Brown talk"
The whirr-whirr of the last through
trolley train was getting fainter and
fainter, and the noise came family to
the knockers ears. It made him all
the more desperate. Then too, the milk
and mush faction had taken the cue
and was laughing at him. He simply
writhed. His ire spluttered and snap
ped like a broken trolley wire on the
pavement. His eyes had the pale green
of a dynamo room.
That's right, laugh, you grinning
idiots. Keep 1t up, why don't you?
Jones is so funny, isn't he? Well, do
you expect to stand here all night?
Are we going to sleep in the park? Any
one got a friend who has got decency
enough TO take fel ow in for the night?
That's right, don't all speak at once
l notice that Jones doesn't make any
offers. 1 don't believe he has any
friends. Such chattering asses never
do have"
Jones only grinned and showed his
white teeth. He was in such absolute
good hunor, so utterly unperturbed by
Smyth's fusilade that the latter almost
checked. Jones smiled blandIy and re-
piled:
Loosen your neck band little, Smyth;
you can breathe easier then. Smyth is right
boys; 1 have no friends. 1 gave them all
away to a poor girl who had lost three of
her parents, and had only one father left
It's awful to be friendless in great city
after the cars have stopped running, but