The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-11-30
ON MANAGING THEM
HOW TO GET AND KEEP THE UP
PER HAND OF. 4 HUSBAND.

aIsia Point in the Work. of Course. is to
Not Let the GentIemsn Know He 10 Be
ing worked-H as to the Co.iDa ry
Departmsut and His Wardrobe-Psr-
soaai. Attentions to His whims and
OpInions-Above all, the Avoidance of
Contradiction In speech With Him
As to CensurIng Him.
There are certain general principles in
managing husbands which can be relied
upon, but each individual case develops
especial features, which should be given
particular attention to obtain the best
/ results.
| It is an advantage IL the necessity for
management does not occur until the
husband, as such. has been studied for
six months OF a year. BY that time
record has been made, consciously OF un-
consciously, by both parties Of traits Of
| character and disposition, and the meth
cd of management is apt to be largely
intuitive and intinctive.
Whether such time has elapsed or not,
the subject should never be startled or
reused into opposition by any open at
tempt at management. It Is far better
to lose temporary advantage than to
win it at the cost Of arousing suspicion.
The most perfect management is exerted
by manner which never awakens any
feeling save that of absolute content and
satisfaction in the mind OF the managed
man.
Such a state Of contentment is the
foundation Of all success. Consequently
the chief concern Of the woman should
be to bend all her energies to induce this
condition. II is to be inferred that palat-
able food will couduce largely to this
frame Of mind. The study Of likes and
dislikes in the culinary line is absolutely
essential. A man has been known to be
absolutely unmanageable when suffering
from am aching void or it's contrary in
the region Of that seat Of emotions, the
stomach. A good cup Of coffee, q well
broiled steak or chop, an admirably
dressed salad are, on occasions. more
powerful arguments than logic or
pathos.
Men. being as class Of simple and di-
rect minds, prefer orderly method. They
like an arrangement OF their personal
effects which can be grasped with no
effort, even though 1t is badly mattrac-
tive. Hence it is well to keep their be-
iongings where they are most available.
even at an actual sacrifice. 1t Is wise
TO place their garments in regular piles.
and to lay them out in plain view when
needed for instant use. This rule has
exceptions, however. To some husbands
these attentions are only irritating, and
awaken irnpatience or result in tyran-
nous exaotions. Temperament must be
taken into full account as well az early
training and habits.
Economy in woman IL generally pleas
ing to the husband Hence it is well to
mention incidentally the prices of vari-
Gus household supplies, as evidence of
knowledge OF expenses. This should not
be done too frequently. as It may awaken
spirit Of inquiry which may prove an
noying If carried too far. It Is never
wise to inquire, ON the other hand, into
the personal expenses Of husband who
is being managed.
Creature comforts having been we'll
considered and supplied, the discreet
manager will begin to mould the opinions
and direct the desires in the wished-for
directions.
Contradiction is sheer folly. 'Never
contradict is motto emblazoned on
the creed OF every successful woman
manager. The next step is to never lead
the husband to contradict. This Is a
nice point. Definite statements are to be
avoided. II is doubly difficult to effect
a change if any decided stand has been
taken. In this field tact and Intuition
are invaluable. Always lead the nus
band to believe that the initiative, the
suggestive comes from him. II this can
De effected the family will tread path
of roses. II this condition is continually
Kept in mind it can. beyond question. be
finally accomplished.
LAS YOU SUGGESTED.
To this end the use Of phrases, "as you
suggested" "as you said the other day."
Il have been thinking over your sugges-
tion," II didn't fully understand what
you meant" is very helpful. A man is
conscious OF his fitness to lead and is no,
easily disabused Of his ability. It takes
quite a shock to do this. and shocks OF
any nature are to be avoided.
The manager should always plan to
have an unfailing supply Of appreciation
and admiration on hand. This supply
cannot be too large; the demand always
exceeds the supply. Personal behavior.
appearance. attentions, should all be
noticed with discriminating approval II
il is impossible to approve then ali COM
ment should be withheld. In this I'm
ited space 10 rules can be given FOR any
application OF cenSure. The matter is SO
complicated that II IS best 10 omit eri-
fsrely unless years Of training have given
Ghe manager unusual confidence. There
are cases IN which censure should abso-
lWeiy never be given. rs from young
wife to an elderly husband. or from, an
elderly wife to a youthful spouse But
these cases have rules 70 themselves. in
asmuch as in each casa the husband en-
joys being openly managed. as this
proves him OF especial importance
Thus far il mas been possible TO lay
down only the simplest rules suited 20
ple average man and woman No ques-
ton in diplomacy can equal this task in
delicacy. The study is fascinating in
Itself and fsr--eaching In its effects In