The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-07-23

erwise he wouldn't be able 10 wear all
his medalsr'-Pupch
Mr.. New Hub-Vhat does II mean
when a bride promises 10 obey Mrs
New Hub-slmply that she prefers not
to make a scene.-Puck.
rs that good hen, Uncle JOSH" "A
good henl" said Uncle Josh. why. that
ar hen lays eggs as big as haIistuns-'
Detroit Free Press.
she-what little mouth your young
lady friend has. II doesn't look large
enough to hold her tongue He-It
doesnt--Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs Newed-Was l nervous, dear.
during the ceremony? Miss Spitegirl-
Well, trifie. at first. darling. ort not
after William had said yes.-Tru;h.
Mrs. Ton-You used to say was the
light OF your life. Mr.. Ton-Yes. and
suppose that's why you are so easily
put out now We are married.-Judy.
ray OF hope: The Bride-rm so
worried about Fred's cold. Her Moth
er-Still, the majority OF cases Of cold
In the head terminate orably.-Puck.
Barnes Tormer-Talk about your
frostsl Why. boy came down from
the gallery and wanted his money back
because he was afraid to stay alone
Life.
Shelf must have taken a great deal
OF persistence on your part to learn to
play the violin so well. He-lt lid. /
had to go constantly armed for i've
years.-Life.
But we cannot live on papa" protest
ed the savage's bride TO be: ''he Is
dreadfully poor" I'VE can wait until
he Is fatterr' said the cannibal.-De-
troit Journal.
An old woman quite repellent comes
in. DO you think you can find nus
band for mel" she asks. Agent-Per-
haps-if some blind man comes in.-
L'Illustre de Poche.
did you divide your bonbons with
your little brother. MOlliet" Yes. ma;
| ate the candy and gave him the mot
toes. You know he is awfully fond OF
reading. "-Pick-Me-Up.
you poor schoolma'ams are woeful-
ly underpaid." "Oh, don't know.
have taken enough chewing-gum away
from the children to last me three
years. "-Indlanapons Journal.
"Ah, my poor man." said the benevo-
lent old lady, Il suppose you are often
pinched by want and hunger. are you
notT" "Yessum. and by de cops. Gin
cinnau Commercial-Tribune
"And are the divorce laws so very
liberal in your sectionT' "Liberals say
They are so liberal that nobody ever
heard Of woman crying at a wedding
out there."-Detroit Journal.
He-Miss Bellacour claims to belong
to a very old family. she-Well. She.
justified. There are six Of those girls
and the youngest OF them must be a
least 35."-Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Chink has hit on a plan to keeI
: her husband from smoking in the par
, lor." What did she dof" ''She hung
, the portraits of her three former hus
. bands there."-Chicago Record.
Bachelor-Do you think a man vii
have bad luck II he gets married Of
Friday? Benedict-Oh, don't think
makes any difference whether its Fri
day or not.-Yonkers Statesman.
. Truth crushed to earth viii ris
D again." quoted the earnest man
d True" replied Senator Sorghum; "bu
{ in many cases, not until after the ref
cree has counted ten. Washington
Z Star.
She-Tell me, dearest, do you reall.
tell me all your thoughts? He-Cer
tainly, my darling; more than that
\ even. Every day l tell you hundred
Of things without even thinking.-An
swers.
The Farmers Wife-Would you b
willing to saw some wood for you
breakfast? Fluent Fontleroy-It woul
be useless. madam. My teeth are no
as good as they once were.-Cornel
Widow.
80 you think with the bishop tina
the crowd at Carson was not compo:
ed Of average Americansf" ~Of cours
| do. The average man was too har
up 10 go."-Cincinnau Commercial
Tribune.
1T is very hard to learn to ride b
cycleY' asked the pretty girl OF he
cousin VIII. who had taken three le'
|. sons. Well" said VIII. ruefulll
: when you hit the ground 1t is
Washington Times.
links TAT a party)-I don't see what
the matter with that pretty woma
over there. She was awfully fiirt
a while ago and now she won't hay
Is anything to do with me. Stranger-
have lust come In. She's my Wife,
Scottish Nights.
..Then why did you encourage me-
he demanded, fercely. Tears spran
\ to her eyes. pray. forgive me-" 81
entreated. Il know l got mad whe
D YOU asked me 10 be your wife. and tol
\ YOU never TO speak to me again. b'
am sorry. do not love you now.
don't believe 1 loved you even then.
. was thoughtless. Can you not forgiS
a. meg May we not part friendsy'-D
- troit Journal.
= Boston Teacher-We viii now tai
m up the study OF the senses. Why hs
the Creator furnished u with eye.
I. ~ n Il. Z