davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
THE JOY OF RED TAPE.

HERE is about red tape singular beauty,
appealing alike to the sense of humor and dig
nifty No better illustration of this has been
recently than in the instance OF the battle ship
Iowa. 1t appears that necessity for fitting this
goodly vessel with one certain bake oven. Exactly
the department empowered to do the work was
something that had not been established by pre-
cedent, and unseemly controversy ensued. Was it
be done by the Bureau of Equipment, the Bureau
OF Construction the Bureau OF Steam Engineer
ing? For time it looked as though the men OF the
Iowa would have to take their bread in the form Of
dough, but they saved from any such dyspepsia
breeding necessity by happy thought. Why not
divide the work? So, with much correspondence and
many official signature, it was thus decreed One
bureau was directed to purchase the stove and &C
companying pipe, the second was directed to erect
platform for the stove stand upon and the third
was directed to cut the hole essential to the venta-
ton OF the stove through the medium of the pipe
aforesaid Then peace prevailed and the bake oven
was triumphantly installed.
Alter this who shall rail at red tape? Supposng
there had been only one bureau to meet the emer-
gency? Where would the Iowa have been? Simply
tied to the dock of wood and metal Or if
there had been but a single bureau is it reasonable
to suppose that it could have stood UP under the
strain OF responsibility and labor? No Red tape is
all right At times it is trife slow, but think of
the opportunity it gives world too much inclined
to pesslmlsm to indulge in a laugh? And after all
the Iowa has her bake oven
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
NOTHING BUT LEAVES.

| + NJ. JASQUEMIN, French druggist, has cor
rectly interpreted the result of some ingenious
experiments he has recently made we shall have
to abandon the phrase nothing but leaves as a
simie OF futile efforts and admit that leaves for
food purposes about good as the fruit Of the
that bore them
The experimenter was led to the conclusion some
years that the flavor of all fruits is generated in
the leaves OF the tree. He had noticed that leaves
when rubbed in the hands give forth an odor some
times very distinct and in all cases recognizable.
lie thereupon set about proving his theory and now
claims to have demonstrated it by producing apple
Jelly from apple leaves and wine from grape leaves of
quality not inferior that produced from the fruit
itself.
According to a description of his process re-
Gently made public Jasquemin takes the leaves of a
tree and deposits them in a vat containing water,
to which IS added IS per cent of its weight in sugar
and a fermenting agent such as yeast. The leaves
are crushed in the vat and left to ferment The re-
suit is said to be yellow liquid possessing ex-
quislte bouquet" of the fruit of the tree vine
from which the leaves were taken.
While fair is said to have been attained
with the leaves of apple tree the highest triumph
was accomplished with those of the vine From
these 1t IS asserted beverage obtained which
the taste well the smell had all the properties Of
wine, and is added that there be distilled from
1t brandy similar to the best cognac.
II the invention turns out to be anything more
than nine days wonder the changes it will work
IN the orchard and vineyard industry will be remark
able. The happy possessors of such property will
have something more than double their present
crops They sell their fruit and grapes fresh to
be eaten at once, and then from the leaves of the
trees and the vines produce all the preserves and
wines that commerce needs. The glucose industry
will go to smash and the aduerator will be beaten
at his own game. Even when droughts or frost
come and the fruit crop is destroyed, the husband
man will smile in the face OF disaster, knowing full
well that he live leaves and that his trees are
full of them
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
WHO ARE THE HONEST MEN7

IL ONESTY is abstract term. which means
| | whatever the particular person who uses it
concludes to think it means. As general
rule, most people think honest men are those who
agree with them. Some very intelligent people are
unable to discern the force of any argument. The
moment therefore, person takes issue with them
they Immediately place unnelligent construction
upon his or her motives.
There some Republicans who think man
cannot be honest and be a Democrat. There are
some Democrats who think Republicans are gener-
ally dishonest. There are many business men who
think all politicians are thieves and as a rule men
who want office entertain the unqualified opinion that
office holders are rascals By constantly reterating
this opinion these men hope to convince somebody
that they honest and ought to have the Offices.
An illustration OF this principle found in the
duct OF a certain unmentionable newspaper in this
city. This paper thinks it was honest to make an
advertising" contract with the Southern Pacific
Company for thirty months of editorial silence at
$1,000 month 1t also thinks it was honest to break
that contract after twenty-five months of silence and
the absorption of $4,000 of railroad money
This same paper pretends to think that the fifteen
Freeholders nominated by the regular party organza
tons dishonest because they have been nom-
mated by what it calls the bosses" If these same
men were upon the charter convention ticket it
enough, this paper believes that the Southern
Pacific Company is also dishonest But it did not
think the corporation dishonest while it was
drawing $1,000 a month for advertising from its
treasury.
1t is not remarkable that the members of the
charter convention should think that the only honest
men in San Francisco are themselves. Mayor Phelan
also is excusabe for thinking himself an angel But
the public would think differently of all these gentle
men If it were fully cognizant OF the real motive
each individual has in slandering the nominees Of
the regular parties and in raising the cry of bogie
bosses and corrupt corporations.
In the meantime it will be well for all who intend
to vote the election Monday to inquire into the
full significance OF the charter and its bear
ing upon the one man power question. Then they
should go to the polls and vote the following ticket
without a scratch:
REPUBLICANS.
I3. GEORGE H. DOW. proprietor
Bow Steam Pump Works.
~. JOSEPH I'D. GRANT, merchant.
Murphy. Grant ~ Co.
24. REUBEN HI. LLOYD. attorney.
33. GEORGE VI. PERINE. contractor
30. A. w. SCOTT. of Scott 81 McCOrd
hay and grain dealers.
AZ. GEORGE I'D. SQUERES. attorney.
DEMOCRATS.
25. w. E. LUTZ, secretary building
and loan associations.
90. JOHN McCARTHY, of McCar-
thy Bros, spice merchants.
35. w. VI. PTE1SON, attorney
36. JOSEPH RIOS OSENTEFAA., attorney
43. G. B. STONE, manager breHveries
AZ. PATRICK SWIFT, capitalist.
POPgLIsTS.
q. THOMAS v. GATOR, attorney.
rs. w. ". GRESWOLD, physician.
@S. THEODORE HI. HATCH, commits
sion merchant.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
WHERE HARMONY WOULD PAY.

y CCORDING to the New York Wine and
/ ! Spirit Gazette reports from the wine growing
districts OF Europe are to the effect that the
output OF wine for the year will be small in quantity
and OF inferior quality Scarcely any district has had
good crop, and the aggregate yield will be one Of
the smallest known for long time past.
Both in Bordeaux and in Burgundy the crop is
said to be small and the quality poor. The cham
pagne vintage is virtually failure, and none of the
wine is expected to be good enough for exportation
while the sherry vintage in Spain is reported to be
wine output OF France for the year is estimated at
32,35IoOo hectotres, decrease of 900 hec-
tolitres from the crop of 1896.
The comparative failure of the crop in Europe
affords good opportunity for California wine pro-
ducers and dealers to make profitable market. II
the shortage is large is estimated there ought
to be a good demand for California wine not in this
country only, but to some extent in Europe Thus
there is chance to get fair prices and in addition
thereto an enlarged market for our wine in future
To accomplish these results however there is
necessary a spirit of cooperation among the wine
Of the State. If the producers and the dealers
settle their differences and work in harmony the
results certain to be beneficial to all parties The
advantages offered for gaining new markets by the
shortage OF the European crop not likely to occur
in such force again for many years This therefore.
is the time to act Harmony is at all times profitable
in any industry, but in this particular case it promises
to the wine Of California profit exceptionally
large and far reaching.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

It's a funny thing to think that in
Noah's time Ham was no funnier name
than Japheth.
The longer a man lives the more incl
dents of his boyhood he remembers that
never happened.
A woman may know best how to hold
a baby, but it takes man to know how
to hold a woman.
A childs main object in life is to do
things, a woman's to see things and a
mans to have things.
The woman who pays less for love
than it costs will generally find that she
has paid more for it than it is worth.
When an old bachelor writes a poem
about a girl who is dead. the women
say 1t is a pretty little thing; when a
man writes one who has lost his wife it
Is called a ''heart-throb. New York
Press
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

The man who tells you he is no fool
may be only mistaken.
The barber is the only man who does
headwork with his hands.
The mercury never gets warm in its
efforts to lower the record.
1t was originally intended to have
sheet music sung by the choir.
Some men act like hogs and there are
others who do not need to act.
The horseless carriage is a novelty
but the cowless milk wagon is chest
nut.
The longer a man is married the less
he lodges when his wife throws things
at him.
The most pitiful objects in this world
are girls who act like men and men who
act like girls.
Some married couples are so quarrel
some that they dare not sit near the
open window for fear of falling out.
The hotel clerk who puts on brilliant
front is not the only pebble. A great
many newspaper men use paste too
Chicago News.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Much ado has been made over the fact that a
young who for long time had held posi-
ton of trust fell into temptation at last and BETRAYED
the confidence of her employers. However had the
guilty cashier been a man the incident would have
excited nothing more than passing comment Most
people to remark it would have said 81 told YOU so
although they had done nothing of the kind AS it
is they calculate, Did you ever" which, while not
particularly Intelligent nor original does convey a
compliment to the which is not prone to steal
and seldom investigates the possibility of leading two
lives and succeeding in both
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

1t is little tough to have sympathy worked I'D
over who has stolen to get food for his chill
dren" and then to find that the man is a chronic
rascal who had long depended charity for ma
tcrial to pawn for drink However, it is better to
err on the side of tender-heartedness. But yellow
journalism ought not to have dished the story I'D
swimming in tears after real papers had found out
the truth about it.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
USEMENTS.

Baldwin-"The Jucklings, tomorrow night
Columbia-"A Milk White Flag
California" Shenandoah"
AlcaZar-'The Girl Left Behind Ne"
MOrosco's-'The War of Wealth"
pivon-"Mother Goose"
Observation-Disclosures.
Bush-The Thalta German-Heorew Opera Company
Olympia-Stark's Vienna Orchestra.
The Chutes-Boston Ladies' Military Band.
OberOn-COsmOpolitan Orchestra.
mglesde Track-Races tomorrow.
Coursing-Ingles COurSiug Park.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Several weeks ago people read with interest that
gentleman in the East had succeeded in transmitting
silver into gold. After waiting for some time to
the new material in circulation they have about
concluded that the inventor has been bought off by
somebody with mine of the real yellow metal to
sell.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

A DyersviIle newspaper makes this
chaste reference to an esteemed con-
temporary: THE Janus-faced dead rab-
bit who has one foot in the grave and a
roller skate on the other, is trying to play
both ends against the middle. Its only
a matter of months until the elods viii
thumn a reariem on the box that will
contain 4 large and luscious banquet for
the wigglers of the earth. Then, and not
till then. will his internal and damnable
treachery be hidden from society.-SlouN
CITY Journal.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

People of every class will regret the illness of
Mrs. Ballington Booth. sweet and gracious
woman. tender and enthusiastic she has been veri
table angel of mercy to thousands cast down that
only the love of noble nature could have reached
them.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Perhaps the Cubans were ustifable In killing Ruiz.
and perhaps not The stories told of the affair are
so conflicting there is no chance to Judge Indeed
it is about as difficult to get the truth concerning
Cuba as 1t was when yellow journalists were down
there lying by the yard The pernicious example set
that time seems still to have an influence
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Investigation shows that a supposed victim Of
typhus really died OF the comparatively agreeable
form OF malady known as typhoid. Possibly there
is large grain OF comfort in this fact But it is
trhe hard to discern Certainly the deceasc was as
effective and final as though arrived by some other
method
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

What an extraordinary gentleman Blanco must be-
He has unearthed plot, wicked plot for the taking
of Havana. Possibly his peculiar soul had been
soothed and sustained by an idea that the Cubans
had been campaigning all these months for the pur-
pose OF not taking Havana.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
with ENTIRE FRANKNESS
BY HENRY JaMES.

of opinion
cite another
he takes ought
be said in this column further than that all all
~ expect be called to sphere beyond mortal ken and weekly salary
nnp ss Day not Of Santa S Rs s ss the for
this act @ Certainly % an adt % the end ud se @ % % % S ] und @ @
a s 1t out There has been nnkeep
sIR TRsn ptas.is ta butcher her !
ho win @ @ @ @ e M 1t Ra of his asaurs debtors
% man in Jail is under
jeet proper and put
his hs passeT Io0S no oat h at
and perhaps in time purchase hi. way to freedom
ana yet
surely their oTn Iandpont can n'd do
among the ow and work without Well No
of.n his oGRsne
% r@ ard the suspicion that
mind Ind nnsTsyed % by emotion
decide salary heaven
By S 5 son o the s boos
purple record
distinctly exclusive Waiting
pay '-D'S'S Anu
advanced by
who dared to of
Foundation sped However
interest of the cause they shoot for but do represent
which If the ng9 mpn ~ Of the law @
and dividing % h o st sdPRnd zane nt
opportunity stung by conscience tine estep
% 0'T Yet the S @ a es snno sn5 BE @.sS
was senior partner in the butcher business. N~ D1
the w Madge I am glad to be
Naturally P"s1' Sssn sRfaf R madss
man but the one guilty Of pun se,f m
seeing occasion ordinarily deemed S ep t ga @ Of
figure the circus us raised By % % " t be- @ S0Ud
taken to the sanctuary and feeling of ] @ Is @ loss h such be
faith but hve % @ R % eoS9 Tho @ do
a c o deprived 1A'F . fslS'0'
ns Psh1ps 1ss is shs mo PsF of
kind such any char
human o sg m @ a
d This an @ a ae read p 1f@ ] hf nnfs a stu % at M which @
seam h nfsgenes % 6 % % % | tor to- Rs fRs hs S0
only decent f gu % @ t IN ea @
down and out; down DlDiS
hsT ae senoPa sfa. sym a6aPsr: % @
natoT e lend nsht a any G suoh a nsw
umGr that lady spectator lady
sunshine of her prsence
the nsegGsS ths we're e otoa9 R
,s asoss .sss T "sfy ssr d1sb s --latest s It %
s adS sHf 9Hsi and
Some away his knees m
n 1s Ro RssAss ss i'm an % dsd s
tbs noe sE th d % What ay
is
robbery travel in hoc When ENGLAND
her neighb lootng with lofty
maey fall China the chief
either China We
civilizations taking its
employed the flag
ncapables of the
privilege of
of
f id
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

II the Cubans do not cease hanging officials who
come to them with overtures of peace Spain will get
idea that there is in the island Such painful
conclusion has yet been avoided with the only
summate skill Spain has displayed
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

1t is possible that if Japan longer opposes the
annexation of Hawaii it is because the scheme is so
dead that there is no need of opposition
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
REEDS REPARTEE.

Joseph II. Choate tells how he was
blinded at dinner in Washington by the
flash of Tom Reeds wit: Il had been
discussing the constitutional amendment
against gambling, travelling on passes
etc. I made the statement that l had
never played poker, attended A horse
race or travelled on q pass. Senator Vol
colt looked as if he had done all OF these
things, and said: I wish / could say
that We'll, said Reed. why don't your
Choate does. Utica Press.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Ten cents for bottle of Lows Hore-
hound Cough Syrup. Az Sansome st.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
Cal. glace fruit soc perI6 at rowngend, $. i.

Special information supplied daily to
manufacturers, business houses and pub
CAllen's1. 5lo Montgomery street, San
Francisco. Telephone. Main 1912.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Apparently Minister Sewall is not making a record
for diplomatic ability to attend to his business
and that he fails to win favor is not surprising He
started in with handicap OF unpopularity achieved
by taking the stump against his father when every
dictate Of good taste suggested the entire decency
OF at least maintaining silence.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Guileticecream. so5 I.arkin Tel. East :
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26

Chief Lloyd Of Oakland has knocked two
pugists once and there is not suspicion OF fake
about the affair,
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-26
AMENIr1Es oF IoURNALIsM.

E. H. Black. painter. 10 Ellis street.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1897-09-24
Improbable Discussion.

The only profit in a discussion is
in the light that comes out of it.
Whether light may be fairly expect
ed, depends partly upon the subject,
and partly upon the motives and
relative positions of the disputants.
The discussion of those things, for
instance, which God has chosen not
to reveal can never yield a ray Of
light. On the other hand, the dis
cussion of proper subject with an
improper motive-as merely to get
the better Of another in an argument
is not apt to yield any light,
though it may generate q good deal
of heat. And, again, neither a
proper subject, nor proper motive,
nor both together, can make profit.
able discussion between two men
who are immovably fixed on OPP
posite side of question. The point
to consider is not merely whether a
subject properly admits Of discus
sion, but who may be properly add
mitted to the discussion. Only as
each one is willing and eager to gain
all the light possible, even at the
expense Of closing his case" can
discussion be other than profitless.-
'Sunday-School Times.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1897-09-24
AlCOrn'S TaSt8lGSS Elixir of Cod Liver
GEORGE S. ALCORN
OVER THE COUNTY

Tin Types for &c at YOUNG's. If
Apple cider is on tap and sor-
ghum is ripe.
G. H. Sharp pays the highest
prices for pearls. 1t
The new depot building at Mt.
Pleasant is nearing completion.
#. w. FAIRIES has been appointed
postmaster at Bigbyville, vice E. NJ
Fender.
The protracted meeting is still in
progress at Union Grove, conducted
by Rev. Mr.. Gray.
Three brick store-houses and an
Odd Fellows hall have just been
completed at Mt. Pleasant.
Miss House, of Franklin, has ac-
cepted a position to teach school
near Andrews, in Maury County.
Thirty-fiv pupils from McCain's
Academy, chaperoned by Profs.
Harris and Scott, saw the "White
City, at Nashville last Saturday.
Mr.. w. n. Fuller and daughter,
Miss Laura, who have been visiting
relatives in this and adjoining coun-
ties, left Monday for their home in
North Carolina, via the Centennial.
Gartner Bros, are now cutting
tires for $50 and putting in new
spokes for l0cents. No extra charge
for new bolts or wedging up wheels
These are cash prices. 1t
A corn crib containing 100 barrels
of corn and wagon and mare, be-
longing to Mr.. w. NJ. Cheairs of
Spring Hill, were destroyed by fire
last Saturday night. The barn was
also slightly damaged.
A matrimonial epidemic has been
raging in the vicinity of Campbell s
Station lately. Our correspondent,
Jim Dandy" reports twelve fatal
cases in his letter this week
Strange to say, other places are not
quarantining against the malady.
NJ. and Mrs. F. T. Leftwich, OF
Memphis, after "A delightful visit of
several weeks to relatives in the
Hampshire neighborhOod of this
county, returned home last Monday
stopping day or two at the Cen
tennial.
Roy Clark, a young white man
was tried before Esquires Cochran
and Bellanfant at Campbell's last
Saturday, charged with attempted
rape upon Reno Ingram, a little
white girl. The proof not sustain
ing the case the magistrates dis.
charged the defendant and taxed
the prosecutor, the girls mother
with the costs. j. Shelby Coffey
Esq, represented the defendant.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1897-09-24
Another Version.

A party who was near the scene of
of the killing and saw a part of it,
was in Columbia yesterday and
made this statement. He said that
Phillips saw HightOwer start from
his place of business in the direction
of where he lived; that he phillips
ran and intercepted his victim and
shot him down, the first shot killing
Hightower, after which Phillips
walked up to him while he was
lying PROSTATE on his face on the
ground, and shot him three times
in the back of the head; then hur-
riedly leaving he made his escape
Which version is true, the HER
AID is unable to state.
1t was reported at first that no one
saw the difficulty. 1t is now stated
that two men saw it, and that tbeil
statements make a bad case against
Phillips.
Phillips, so far as the public knows
has not been heard from since the
killing; but it is generally believed
that he has not gone far, and that
his friends know where he is.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1897-09-24
MCDOWELL SCHOOL.

There are now 147 pupils enrolled
at this popular school, under the
management of Messrs. Jesse Tom
linsOn and w. B. Turner secondary,
Mrs. Jesse Tomlinson, and Miss
Lily Roberts. primary.
The two front rooms have been
arranged so that they can be thrown
into one large hall, where the entire
school assemblies each morning for
opening exercises.
Misses Kate AydelOtte and Emma
Jones have joined the class in book
keeping.
Junius Goslin, Ben COwley and
Pleas Englan are now attending
school here.
Misses Nellie and Lindsay Tom
linson, of CulleOka, are staying with
the family of Mr.. Jesse TOmlinson,
and attending the Mcdowell school.
BERTHE McNight, of AshwoOd, en-
tered the 4th grade this week.
jamie Cardwell, of the 9TH grade,
accidently hurt one of her feet SO
severely last week that she has not
been able to return to school.
The Columbia herald. [volume] (Columbia, Tenn.) 18??-1935, 1897-09-24
A Successful RetOrt.


A clergyman was once accOsted by
a doctor, a professed deist, who
asked him, DO you follow preach
ing to save souls?"
Yes
Did you ever see a soul?"
NO"
NO"
Did you ever smell a soul?"
mo"
Did you ever feel sOul?'
Yes"
WELL" said the doctor, There
are four of the five senses against
one upon the question whether there
be sOul.n
The clergyman then asked, Are
you a doctor of mediciue?'
Yes"
Did you ever see pain?'
Mo-
Did you ever hear pain?"
mo"
Did you ever taste a pain?'
mo"
Ibid you ever feel a pain?"
Yes"
We'll" then said the clergyman,
"there are also four of the senses
against one, upon the question
whether there be a pain. And yet,
sir, you know that there is a pain
and know that there is a SOUL
Messenger of Peace.