davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
BRIGHT BITS.

First Man Ia b!bulous party)-There's
a lot of body in this wine
Second Man-Yes; and I'm beginning to
think there's lot Divine in this body
-Tit-Bits.
-"Oh, wirra, worra Ter think thot only
yesterday OF wor batting him over the head
wild er hat-iron. and him a hollering thot
strong and vigorous, and now he lies
dead!'-Truth.
The Triumph of surgery-Dr Butch
Well this was great operation.
Prof. Cutt-Did the patient survive?
DR.. Butch-Oh, no, he died; but we
found out several things we didn't know
before-Brooklyn Life.
-Gotham-People are so different here in
Boston. See how sad everybody looks
Backbay--Naturally. How could they
look otherwise when they think of the IN
fortunate people who cannot live in Bos-
ton ?-Boston Transcript.
Little Boy pointing to a shop window
What's them?
Mother-Those are diving suits, made all
of rubber, SO that the diver shall not get
wet
Little Boy-I wish 1 had one
Mother-Why-wha for, my dear?
Little Boy-To wear when you wash me.
-Tit-Bits.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
story by Joe Jefferson.

At the sixth annual meeting and dinner
of the Old Colony Club at the Vineyard
Sound house, Falmouth Heights, accord
ing to the Boston Herald, Joe jefferson
presided and opened the proceedings with
the following story:
The worthy captain has just told me
that it is useless to expect of him a speech,
but that If he were walking the quarter
deck of a ship he would know where he
was. Now, that is where he greatly diff
fers from myself. When l am walking
the quarter of a ship do not in the least
know where 1 am. l am reminded of
what once occurred to me. I was cross
ing the Atlantic. The weather was dread
full. Capt. Ashley knows what that
means. l was trying to guide myself
along the deck, and, incidentally, to aid
others. In this mission L ran across a
lady lying Frustrated on the deck, evident
ly sorely troubled with that dreadful dis
ease, seasickness.
Il said to her: Madame, may I bring
you anything to relieve your"
She looked up at me and feebly said:
1 beg you will not mention it. Will you
also kindly excuse me, sir?'
Il then said to her: But is there moth
ing I can do for your
No, sir, said she in the same Tone
please go away.
But, madame I said, you are evil
IDENTIFY suffering. Can 1 do nothing to
help you?
4 WISH said she, that you would go
away. l am not fit to see any one
81 am sorry, madame I persisted
that l can be of so little service. Can
1 do nothing for your poor husband, the
gentleman whose head see in your lap.
Oh said she, that is not my hus-
band. 1 do not know in the least who
he is {"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
PIuckinr the Innoccnt.

NO" said the soap fakir to a group of
people that had gathered around him, &C
cording 10 the Cleveland Leader, there
is no use talking TO me about the inno-
cence of the countryman. He may buy a
gold brick occasionally or sign a blank
check and lose his farm, but as a rule,
he can take care of himself just as well as
the next one and generally a little better.
If I knew as much as some farmers l
wouldn't be in this business and you can
gamble on that.
why. say, do you know what happen
ed to me the last time I was down in the
country? 1 got pinched that's what
done. I got my satchel out in front of
the hotel in a little town about thirty
miles out east here and began to do
few tricks to draw a crowd.
After I'd made an egg disappear and
pulled a few knots open for them. says:
Now, gentlemen, I'm goip to show you
trick that nobody else on earth has ever
attempted. You see my hat here? Well,
Wen imagine for the time bein' that its
a flower pot Out of this hat I'm goin' to
make bush grow up. and when I've done
that I'll make every leaf on Ii turn into
a s. note
What? Did do 1t? OF course I did!
But, say. do you know what come of II?
Blamed If they didn't arrest me and fine
me SIS for raisin' bills which the justice
of the peace said was contrary to the
statoots made and provided
well l sort of had hankerin to know
whether they done it in good faith or just
because they thought I was easy pickin'
and what do you think found out? Why,
the people of that town hadn't paid any
taxes for eight years. They'd actually been
runnin' things by pluckin' just such inno-
cent fellows IS me.
Now, gentlemen, there's a 81 bill in
one of these little packages. Who will
give me 10 cents for the first choice?'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
woman and Her PocketboolS.

81 will agree to give you $40 for every
day that some woman does not lose
pocketbool,' remarked one Of the officers
on duty at the Union station, in speaking
of the large number of cases of this char
acter which fall under his observation,
says the Columbus Dispatch. Continuing,
he said that something ought TO be said
about the matter in the newspapers to
warn women of the great danger they are
running while travelling and absorbed in
the scenes of their journey to such an eX-
tent that they forget all about their pock-
etbooks until some person has been tempt
ed TO become thief and made off with
the book.
He cited the case of woman who had
just come in on a train and reported that
her pocketbook was gone. She could re-
member that a man had showed with his
foot what she then thought was a piece
of carpet, but which she was now certain
must have been her pocketbook. She could
call to the mind the circumstances, but
could give no description of the man. The
men on the train were searched, but no
pocketbools found. Worst of the trouble is
that the losers cannot tell where they laid
their books, for all they know is that they
are minus their money.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
Carlisle defended.

It IS a source Of satisfaction that Mr..
Hoke Smith and Henry Watterson have
taken 1t upon themselves to deny the wide
" published statement that John G.. Car
Isle retired from the office of Secretary
Of the Treasury a rich man. The author
of this SANDER wanted to create the i'm
preston that Mr.. Carlisle used the great
office he held TO enrich himself. Il is
u pity that the falsehoods of such malig-
nant persons are permitted a place in
the newspapers. 1t appears however
that the desire to injure political OPP
ponent is greater than the desire to be
just.
As soon as Mr.. Cleveland and Mr.. Car
Isle refused to fall in with the plans of
the siiverites the most malignant false
hoods were told concerning their financial
affairs. It was stated that for favoring
the. gold standard Mr.. Cleveland had been
able 10 accumulate a fortune amounting
10 several millions Of dollars. 1t turns
out that he is worth only about $4,000,
and yet there were hundreds of thousands
Of people who believed Mr. Cleveland had
acquired great wealth by corrupt means.
AS matter OF lact MI NdIlSle II
comparatively poor man. 1t is doubtful
if he has more than $4,000 above his debts.
He is not an accumulation Of wealth. and
1t Is pretty safe to say that he will never
be a rich man.
1t is cruel that honest public men
should be slandered by constituencies fal-
sihers. The public would be greatly bene-
fitted if such enemies Of society were pun
ished in accordance with their deserts.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

FROM the baltimore Sun Dem.

New England will. II is feared. be forced
to take her own medicine. she has for
many decades dosed the rest of the coun-
try with tariff sacrifices for her protection,
but section % of the new tariff act i'm
posing discriminating duties may strike
home Efforts are being made to exempt
New England, as so often before, bur there
is a chance that she will cease to get
freight over the Canadian Pacific at
cheaper rates than can be had over the
lines in the United States. If" says the
New York Journal of Commerce, "the sur
reptitious modification of section p is
found 10 impose the discriminating duty
on goods coming through Canada in bond,
that is likely to continue to be the policy
of the United States until there is
change in political parties" II will be held
that such discriminating duties are part
of the policy of protection, and all good
republicans must stand by them. The
archprotectionists viii then be hoisted by
their own Detard.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

At the battle of Chickamauga I saw a
fellow shooting straight up in the air and
praying as Justify as ever one of Crom-
wells roundheads prayed, says a writer
in the Galveston News.
The Presbyterians of 1916 prayed loud
and sang hymns In battle but they shot
straight at the cavaliers every time This
fellow was blazing away at the sky, and
when Lieut.. Killngworth demonstrated
with him about it he paid no attention
to him whatever. Capt Joe Billingsworth
threatened to cut him down with his sword
if he didn't shoot at the enemy for the
woods in front were fun of them. He
merely remarked to the captain "You
can kill me If you want to- but am not
going to appear before my God with the
blood OF my fellow man on my soul"
He never flinched. but stood squarely
up, exposed to every volley of the enemy's
fire. When the sun set on the evening of
Sept. is, 1863 Capt. J. G. Billingsley and
Lieut. Allen Killingworth both lay dead
on the battlefield of Chckamauga, and r.
went through without scratch.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Cnnton Lodge No. "a, F. & A.
M; Calanthe Lodge, No. 2S, X. of p;
German Friendly Society.
Special Notices-Ship Notice, Strachan
q Co., Consignees.
Business Notices--Le Panic Cigars.
Legal Notices-Notice of TransferA of
Stock of Merchants National BanaeE Lii
bel for Divorce, Fred Major VS.. Anna
Major.
We Want Boys to Equip With School
Suits-B. II. Levy & Bro.
Steamship Schedules-Ocean Steamship
Company; Baltimore Steamship Line.
From a Hammock to the Altar-Lindsay
& Morgan.
Gold Dust Washing Powder-N. K. Fair
banks Company.
Pearline-John Pyle, New York.
Cottolene-N, X. Fairbanks Company.
Medical-Stuarts Dyspepsia Tablets;
Cutieura Remedies; Hoods Pills; Wo-
mans Friend.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

Terrible tales are coming from Alaska
about the prospectors who are attempting
TO get through to the gold fields of the
Klondike, but they are nothing to the
stories which we may expect to read three
or four months hence. Winter has not
yet set in. The weather will begin to get
cold on the Yukon about the first of Oc-
tober. Fifteen days from that time ice
will form in the rivers, and a few days
later the zero weather will begin. In
the midst of the cold season the tempera-
ture often drops to 40 degrees and SO de-
grees below zero and when that period ar
rives, there will be death and desolation
on the trail
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
If 1 Were You.
From the rndenendent.


If a little girl could be-
Well-just like you,
With lips as rosy, cheeks as fair,
Such eyes of blue, and shining hair,
What do you think I'd do?
I'd wear so bright and sweet a smile,
I'd be 50 loving all the while,
I'd be so helpful with my hand,
So quick and gentle to command,
You soon would see
That every one would turn TO say:
" IT'S good TO meet that child to-day"
Yes, yes my bird, that's what I'd do
If ] were you.
Or if I CHANGED to be boy,
Like some know;
With crisp curls sparkling in the sun,
And eyes all beamiug bright with fun
All if 1 could be so,
I'd strive and strive with all my might
To be so true, so brave, polite,
That In me, each one might behold
A hero-as in days of old.
'Twould be a joy
To hear one, looking at me, say:
''My cheer and comfort all the day."
Yes, If 1 were a boy know
l would be SO.
But now, perhaps. you'd ask Of me:
when il was you
Who had the young and merry face,
With smiles and roses all in place,
Tell us, what did you do?"
All, dearies! If ever fell
Far short of doing wisely, we'll
Ii was, you see,
Because none ever took the time
To tell me in such lovely rhyme
What l should now rejoice to do
If 1 were you.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

Admiral Sicard's experiments in sending
messages from his fleet off the Virginia
coast to the navy yard at Norfolk by
carrier pigeon have proved very satisfac-
tory. The distances covered have not been
so great as distances covered by the pig
cons Of DR.. Stone of this city, released
from the decks of steamships on their way
TO New York but the true and rapid
flight of the navy's birds has shown that
the booming of great guns and the
many and strange noises aboard war
ships do not confuse wen trained pigeons
or cause them to do otherwise than fly
straight back to their home cotes. 1t T..
quite likely that carrier pigeons viii play
an important part in coast ana harbor
defense in future.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
Administration and ex-Queen.
From the Chicago Chronicle Oem.).

If President Mckinley imagines that ex-
Queen Liliuokalani will retire quietly to
her former home in the Hawaiian Islands
without substantial provision for her per-
sonal comfort as she claims was guaran-
teed TO her by former administrations, the
chances are that he will have a rude
awakening when her ex-majesty again
camps upon his trail on her return from
the Pacific coast. The annexationists may
flatter themselves that all is plain sailing
and that might, backed by Uncle Sans
warshps, is right, but the claims of ex-
Queen Liluokalani will return to plague
them so long as equity remains unsatis-
fed.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
VIII Remember Mckinley, Too.
From the Philadelphia Ledger Qnd.).

Sugar is advancing in price. True. il
goes only 1-16 of a cent at each move, and
it will take some time, at that rate, before
retail customers feel the effect of the in
crease but there is no predicting when
or where il will stop, and prudent house
keepers will regulate their purchases ac-
cordingly
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

Georgia will not plume herself upon the
alleged possibility that Chattanooga will
be thrown into this state by revision and
settlement of the boundary line. The qdes-
ton is not a new one, and Chattanooga
will remain just where it is, in Tennessee.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13


Our correspondent al Abbeville. Ga
writes: The merchants so far are not
reaping the expected benefits from sales
OF cotton. The farmers are practically
out of debt and are not spending money
as lavishly as heretofore" We have late.
ly received a number of similar reports
from various sections Of the state The
meaning of this is that the country mer-
chants viii not handle as many goods this
fall and winter as before, probably
but they will do a more satisfactory bust
ness than they have been able to do here
tofore. They will be able to make prompt
collections, sell for cash, avoid carrying
book accounts from year TO year and save
numerous incidental expenses and losses
necessary to carrying on a credit business.
on the other hand, the farmers viii be
able to buy at better figures than they
could possibly secure under a credit sys-
tenn We are rejoiced to know that the
farmers and the country merchants are
getting down TO cash transactions The
trading may be smaller in volume. but If
VIII be much more satisfactory 70 an
parties.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

Gradually the price of sugar is being
forced up-or, rather, run up, for the
trust does not have to force up sugar.
having everything its own way. Sugar
which sold at wholesale for cents short
ly before the passage of the new tariff
bill is now quoted at SIS, with stin fur
ther advances in prospect in the near flu
ture AT the rate of advance which has
been going on recently it Will not be a
great while before the workingman who
takes sugar in hisicoffee will have TO paw
10 or Z cents pound for it. However
the south Atlantic states have II in their
power to stop paying tribute to the trust
The people of this section have raised
cane and made their own sugar before
now, and they can do Il again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
CURRENT COMMENT.
A One-sided Argument.

A One-Sided Argument
From Louisville Courier-Journal Dem.) J..
The Bryan argument seems TO be that
when prices of farm products are down
the crime of 1873 is the cause, but when
they are up the explanation must be
found in the law of supply and demand.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year. and is served to
subscribers in the city, or sent BY mall
at s.. 30 a month, $500 Tor six months, and
5000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail, six
times a week (without sunday issue),
three months, 500, six months, $40; one
Year, $780,
The WEEKLY NEWS, issues a week.
Monday and Thursday. by mail, one year,
SlOO.
Subscriptions payable ia advance. Re
nit Dy postal order, check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk of
senders.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading notices.
amusement and cheap or want column, 10
cents a line. Fourteen lines Of agate type
equal to one inch square in Depths
the standard of measurement Contract
rates and discounts made known on ap-
plication at business office.
Orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place Of bus
mess may be made by postal card or
through telephone No. 30. Any irregu-
larity in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah.
Ga.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row, New
York city. C. S. Faulkner, Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

Poor Andree's chances appear to be
growing very slim. One of the latest IN
toward circumstances leading to this con-
clusion is the fact that one of his pigeons
has been picked up at Coulterville, Ind
The inference. therefore, is that he took
that western airshlp on the return trip
from the pole, and hence will never be
able TO get down to earth again.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13

popularity with the veteran soldier voters
In the meantime Pension Commissioner
Evans is preparing to create the impress
sion that he Is making stupendous ef-
forts 20 discover pension frauds II has
been published that gigantic frauds have
been and are still being committed, and
pension Inspectors are 10 De Instructed
that they are to lei no guilty man escape.
In view Of the fact, however. that the
republican leaders made the greatest kind
of an outcry against Mr.. Cleveland and
his administration whenever the name of
a pensioner was stricken from the pen
sion roles on account of fraud it is pretty
safe to conclude that the search for fraud
will not be a very vigorous one.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
WHAT A WONDERFUL
OFFERING Is THIS.

HANDKERCHIEFS at any price Won
may name.
Childrens &c to 10c.
Ladies Handkerchiefs from SC to 1Sc.
Gents Handkerchiefs from Sc to 1Sc
We can give you great bargains in this
line if you will take the trouble to look
at our goods
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
RIBBONS FOR THE ASKING.

Ribbons in all the beautiful shades at
25c for this week only
Baby Caps in great variety, all fresh
and clean, at your own price.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
SUNDRIES FOR TIE TOILET.

Tar Soap 1sc, Cuticura Soap tic, CASH
mere Bouquet 23c, Tapco DC, Sheffield
Tooth Powder 19c, Murray & Lanman
Florida Water 58c, Best Florida Water
22c, Michalson's West India Bay Rum
22c, Michalson's Double Distilled Bay
Rum 5Sc bottle.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
The MORNING NEWS is published

registered at the postolHce in savannah
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-13
THE BALANCE
AT YOUR FIGURES.

Ladies' Shirt Waists-You know what 10
means at this season of the year. No use
to quote prices. We only have a few left,
and you can have them at a bargain.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-12-17
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

Taking of the hat or cap as a sign of
reverence OF respect was mentioned in
the time OF Caesar.
In Larue county. Kentuky, it is said
that Charles Williams has grown a
bunch Of white blackberries.
1t is said that in the best districts Of
China the tea crop will average from
800 to 400 pounds per acre.
Bears have been so thick around
Idaho that it has been. said there was a
bear for every bushel.
Over 1000 frozen rabbits are an
nually exported to the London markets
from Victoria. Australia.
The one thing for which lace paper
may be used and be considered good
form on a table is for cheese.
Marriage at midnight, the ceremony
being performed. by a coroner, is the last
Kansan eccentricity reported.
The tea plant is said by Chinese
writers to have been cultivated in that
country from at least 1000 b. c.
The gossamer iron made at Swansea.
Wales, is so thin that 4 800 plates are
needed to make an inch OF thickness.
Near Alvord, Iowa. can of stamps
which were stolen from the postoffice
at Lester, in that state, two years ago,
was plowed up recently.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-12-17

Jim and John were townsmen and chums
and went out to see base ball II was a
red hot afternoon. aud the bleechers were
like frying pans at breakfast time. Jim
had a bald head and John had crick In
the back They sat for an UNDERGONE roast
and laughed at everything. jim's bald
spot WIS a shining mark like brass door
plate. A stray hall. nerce and sharp. from
a false bat struck the spot and ploughed a
furrow. Ii dazed him. Jim's eyes and face
looked like a sick owls. and John laughed.
He laughed an hour straight along. The
game ran late into twilight. Meanwhile
John had shed his coat, aud a cool damp
draft got In its work on his back The time
came TO leave. but John couldn't He
couldn't bend OF get up. Lumbago had set
in. IN it, worst form lie laughs best who
laughs last and Jim had revenge. But
they got down town 70 Jim's room. when
he said. Here's something all those ath-
letes use for hurts and ailments. and its
the best known cure for lame back" He
rubbed il on Johns hack and some on his
own head. They were both feeling cured
and comfortable from the use Of 81. Jacobs
Oil. which Jim always kept in handy
place He was a sport himself and knew
~hat was best. They went to bed John
laughed la his sleep. Both rose in the
morning fresh as daisies then Jim laughed
at John.
The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-12-17
Rowing Turkeys.

flock OF rowing turkeys may not
cost their owner a great deal II his
neighbors are patient and uncomplain-
ing people. otherwise they may cost
him a lawsuit and damages. or. at least
a big lot of unneighborly feeling. On
the theory that turkeys can get their
own living and are not great eaters.
they are too often left wholly to their
own resources. This neglect leads them
TO wander far and wide for food. to
commit depredations in neighbors' gar
dens and truck patches. to fall a prey
10 the wrathful strangers club or dog.
or perhaps TO change homes to that of a
farmer who treats his poultry with
greater generosity. Ii is cool policy.
even NJ this season. TO keep faithful
watch over the fiocks. TO notice where
they roam In the daytime and where
they stay at night. and whenever they
come about the premises to make
friends with them by throwing out a
little grain. The turkey crop will not
be ripe until Thanksgiving. but il will
be well to cultivate 1t now.-Farm Jour
nal.