The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-06-04
A MAN OF APPETITE.
AN AWFUL ORDEAL FOR A DYSPEP-
TIC LITTLE LAWYER.

Brewer, Who Was launching Little
Before Going Home to supper.
"There used to be a famous place for
these things down in Atlanta, re-
marked the portly gentleman as he eau
tiously eyed the Welsh rabbit and sip
ped his musty ale.
"Why, don't these suit your" asked
the man who had never travelled
"Oh, yes, fine, but was just think
ing Of little incident that occurred
there. p"
"A story, is it? Well, let's have it.
"It's not much of a story, but L Will
| tell it the best 1 can. You see, the place
| spoke of was kept by man named
Beirmister and was not only famous
! for its Welsh rabbits, but for its oysters
and hard crabs as well. Delicious they
| were too
"There was dyspeptic little lawyer
around town, sharp and shrewd. but
martyr to the stomach. He used to go |
around with the boys until some one
would suggest going over to Beirmister's
and getting some crabs and beer; then
you could count the lawyer out. The
boys would try to persuade him by
telling him how delightful were the
crabs, how succulent the oysters, but
the lawyer would flee from them in ter
ror at the thought.
"About o'clock one fine afternoon
in the early spring a friend and myself
were journeying toward Beirmlster's
when we met the dyspeptic lawyer. AS
usual, he stopped us for little chat,
and we walked down the street together.
In few moments we were in front OF
Beirmister's, and my friend, taking
different tack, persuaded the little law
yer to enter with us ON the plea that
we would find no one in at this time or
day and that we were only going to eat
} few oysters.
, "Once inside, we found the place
, crowded. The seats at the tables were
} all occupied except at one table, over
9 in far corner of the room, at which
there were three vacant chairs, the
/, fourth being occupied by fat German
brewer named Grump. We knew Grump,
a and so went to this table. 1 introduced
o the lawyer-Blakely. believe his name
: was-to the brewer and ordered beer
r for the crowd The lawyer protested, so
we left him out.
n Mr.. Grump. ! remarked, we are
g about to have few oysters Won't you
Il join us?'
r. "'Vell, you see, have alretty some
d ting ordered.
IS "'Oh, that's all right, insisted. "A
l. few oysters will give you an appetite
W els dot so? Yah, l take me few
l. chust Won leetle dozen.
10 "My friend had been engaged in an
earnest conversation with the lawyer
W while l was talking to the jolly ole
q. German, and when the waiter came
I'd with the beers he told him to bring
some crabs, az dozen oysters ON TIT
she'll and a glass of hot water. He hat
persuaded Blakely to try some oysters.
"At Beirmisters when an order wa
70 given for crabs they invariably brough
!, dozen, and you paid for as many
no Won consumed out of that number. Th
TO-, waiter soon returned with oysters, crab
as and hot water In the meantime Grump
ny who was great talker, had struck up
u conversation with the lawyer, and the
I'd were cracking jokes at great rate.
"Blakely's courage fell when the oys
as tiers were placed before him. He man
We fully drank the hot water and com
- 70 menced to initiate Grump's heroic styl
he of eating oysters. He managed to dow
he two and then laid his fork gently b
his his plate and fastened his eyes o
Id, Grump With the aid of few glassful
ms of beer the brewers oysters had var
'rd ished. MY friend had managed to g
awav with two crabs and insisted thu
81, Grump help him dispose of the n
or. mainder. l was still busy with m
the dozen oysters.
ote "'Vell, L help you some, said Gruml
ew and picking up knife he went at tho'
crabs like darby shocking oyster
The dyspeptic watched him as If Ease
=, mated and remarked in a sneering tol
o .n. that came straight from the stomach:
the lyon have good appetite M
lew Grump.
md Yah, l t'lnk pretty goot' anu
ing actively went for another crab IL
dish was cleared in few moments, al
ny I made a mental note that Grump hi
aw' eaten nine crabs, dozen large oyster
Inc and drank ten glasses of beer When &
WI crabs were no more, Grump called to
,er. waiter:
the "'Here, Franz, l am waiting.
ked Franz disappeared, and in fe
ked moments brought in large Welsh IA
One bit and deposited it before Grump.
ped could Gee tbe little lawyer shrink frc
the odor waited across the table, but
was game and would have staid at ti
ork table until he died. Grump insisted II
for we share the dish with him, but
Is a hands refused.
the with apparent relish and fre
Or glass of beer he attacked the rabb
and in an incredibly short time the d.
was clear of the least particle. CRU
wiped his mouth, folded his napk
won and called for another round OF bee
If had not had a reputation to susta
would have refused, but as 1T was