Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1897-08-13

ICORlG WuV1C VRAAAVAAO 4eAs~s-s
anything never like to see man with
out means blow himself just to keep
up with the procession.
Does your minister practice what no
preaches?" HE has preached 1t 90
often he doesn't need to practice It any
more."-Detroit Journal.
waiter. II II almost half an hour
since ordered that turtle soup" "Sor-
~, sir. but you know how slow tur.
ties are."-London Tid-Bits.
Bass-was that baby talk your wife
was talking a. came int Fogg-That
was mother talk; no baby ever saw
INDUCED In such gibberish. --BostOn
Transcript. ia
The Chaperon--You should never RIM
down your friend, my dear. The Chap-
eroned-No danger Of that: they can al
beat me At scorching. New York Dven-
ing Journal.
Doctor Ito female patient)-You have
q slight touch Of fever: your tongue
has a thick coat Patient (excited-
ly)-Oh, doctor, do tell me how It nts.--
Fact and Fiction.
Mistress-Now, you must always
sweep well behind the doors, Mary.
Mary-Yes'm. trust me for that; it's tho
only way one can get the dust out OF
sight.-Pick-Me-Up.
Teacher--I want each Of you to make
a sentence, using the word delight" n
1t. Small boy (colored)-De wind come
In de winder an blowed out de Light
Philadelphia Ledger.
Hell wonder II that couple are mar
ried. she-Certainly not. He--How
can you tell? Shc-Why. they've been
talking to each other for nearly half an
hour.-New York World.
"Ir this a healthy portion Of the
Slater" asked traveller In Arkansas.
"Weli. l should say 1t II. There has
been nobody hung about here In three
months. "-Texas Siftings.
Mrs. sweet-Do you find It cconomt-
cal to do your own cooking2 Mss.
Burnem--Oh. yes; my husband doesn't
eat half a. much a. he did when We
had cook. Boston Traveller.
I'VE have much new and valuable
information concerning the Hlttites,
the Invites, the Jebusites and the Moab
ties" His friend-How about The
Mosquitobites f-H Household Words.
"poor chap! Bright fellow. but .
hopeless idiot. Judge, from his talk"
mo, indeed; he's merely quoting lit
tie passage from the latest Scotch ntsy-
el."-Cincinnati Commercially Tribune.
Clara--Are you mot afraid, Maud, to
marry old Dodderly? hear he gets
horribly jealous without any cause.
Maud--DOn't be anxious, dear; I'll take
care he never does that.--Pick-M Me- Up.
Its funny the shurref amt scouria
the country for them stage robbers"
said the postmaster. II guess" ven
tured Rubberneck bill, that he ain't
got the and."--Indianapolis Journal.
Virgins What makes you 20 certain
of Bawlers patriotism 2-Boggs-Why,
he Just boils over with indignation
when he hears Of the wrongs of for.
eigners that we have NO interest in!-
Truth.
Wdow-Is 1t true, captain, that .
sailor has wife In every port? Old
, Tar (savagcly)-Mallam, the sailor
, needs the time he has ashore for rest
and amusement.-Philadelphia North
, American.
Professor-What n tire best cure for
prolonged emanciatiOn? Medical stu
Z tient-Throw the patient In the air.
, Professor What? Medical sttl.
dent-He'll come down pkamp.-New
I York Press.
| "My good man, do you ever do any
thing to bring light and purity into thu
homes Of your fellow menY" "Yus-
: lots" "You distribute tractsY' mo,
/ clean windows and beats carpets. -
illustrated Bits.
Mrs. DE style (for enect>-Norah'
: Norah! Did you put my jewel case
:. away? Norah-Yis. mum, Oh did
There on'y foive camphOr balls lift N
y It. Shall sind for some more. mum1
New York Journal.
i George, wdsh you'd leave this uttll
n package at the express Office" me car
Il ~ bundle? ! guess not. Besides. I've
d rot to lug both my tires and handle
e bar down to the repair chop
i Cleveland PLAIN Dealer.
. He-You say you married westerz
q man? she-Yes. "And that he neve
II driuks?" "Never." "Nor smokesr
mo. sir" "Nor hoses his temperr
That's what l said." when did b
T. dser'-Yonkes Statesman.
= Mickey Dorlan-Hullo. Bill! How
did you like being a caddie? BIN,
N0lan-Ah! I didn't like It ut all, .
. all. First de Teller he towh be IL
= kape me eye on de ball. den he gave m
y de ball In de eye.-Harpers Bazaar.
t. II surely had q royal and nooa
n time" said he recapitulaking. II ~
'r four kings, and In the row that ensue'
l. I had to put up my dukes and the "
's shot OF 1t all was that l was indicte
~ '. ON three comts.-lndianapOlis Journa
TO Teacher-Can you tell me In wha
A. WAR Caasar invaded RriHain3 Punil-