Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-04-19

on my best carpet, faint Jones But It's
like it, Guess again And he nudged ME
with that lantern. Smith says I. 1es7ao-
ate like sPshaw,' says he. Smith amt
no more like jones than Crumht IS Ike
SalvinO Crumht and Salvino is names
what l calls far apart. Suppose, mum,
YOU was to know that a man named Sal
vino-I say supposing. you know-that a
man named Salvino had done some MUIR
der. supposing. he had cut up an old lady
into bits and billed her down and soldier
for furniture glue-and such things has
been done-now suppOsing. mum. that
man named SalvinO had done this and was
70 call himself Crumtit. would you see any
likeness in the names? OF course not,
mum. There amt nothing like alises,
mum. It's the greatest invention that was
ever invented says he. When a man can
get alias which is the exact opposite of
what his name was before then, mum, he
is safe. II you ever want a alias, mum,
come to me- says he. Now, just for cur
ioSity if you wanted alias, what would
you choose?'
don't know says l. a-rubbins my
81
But there was this awful man a-sitting in
his wet clothes on my best lounge and a
splitting On my best carpet If he'd given
me chance. I'd a sent for the police, but
he ke0t talkin right straight on.
so your name is Williams. says he.
7 knowed a Mrs Williams once who~kept
a gunshop in Boston, but you amt the
one. for she was hanged. Well mum, if l
were you and wanted a alias bad, think
if YOU was to call yourself Nine. Pivoty
70 would do. OF course the alias must de-
pend somewhat upon what you done. If
YOU only cracked a store or pulled a
pocketbook. you might call yourself Skin
ner or any such name as that but for any
thing serious Nine Pivoty would do
You'd better remember that name-it
might come in useful. I see a kind of
wildnesS in your eye, mum. that makes
me think of the great French child tortur-
er. Nine. oscar. They say she made blue
children for circuseS by feeding EN- on in
disc. She was a genius for putting child
rem 20 good uses. She always kept a
stock of show children en- hand-human
skeletons. fat boys. transparent infants
and such like. When a fat boy stopped
7ArAN ms @llt fQAlQ turn MIN out Us q SkCl-
e,on in less than q year. But she couldn't
make fat boys out of skeletons-the train
ing seemed 10 injure something in their
insides. It amt all children Jhatu make
good skeletons anyways, says he. Now
your boy there. looking at Johnny, might
do. Nine. Oscar hadn't no success ore
year, and when she made a dozen failures
the police thought she was a-burying too
many infants and fetched her up. She
didn't last long after they stopped her; she
couldn't live without her interesting work.
'' How do you like Pivoty. num-? says
he again after splitting on my carpet. 1 be-
gan 20 suspect by this time that he was n
kind Of lunatic, and I was a-shaking all
over.
It's a pretty name says l.
q" Pretty. num-. says he. With that
name mum. you might do anything and
never get found out. You needn't be
afeard. mum, to so ahead. 1 can see that
if YOU was sure Of knowing enough aliases
you'd make a name for yourself
His saying this kind of riled me. if he
was a lunatic. but l was afraid to stir on
inch. After awhile he jumps up and
wants Lizzie TO 60 with me. and ne fol-
7 IlANt. lEGlAE u johnny = arm IL ne went
and saying that he make good skeleton.
When he got TO the room, he shook my
hand and said Goodnight. sweet angel"
Then he shut the door. and You could have
knocked me down With a feather.
1T was 10 o'clock and here l was. with
nobody in the house but the children and
big maniac full Of all kinds of murder
Gus notions. But l sent Johnny round TO
the police station 20 say that we had lu-
matte murderer in the house. The police
captain came I'm five minutes.
Mrs Williams. says he, you've got a
mnatic worth having. He went CRAZY
reading dime novels when he was boy,
and escaped from the asylum last week
His friends offer 81, coo for his capture.
The captain and two Of his men went
up and brought him down. He was quiet
enough and seemed amused like. When
they was taking him out Of the door, he
says TO me: Remember mum, what l told
YOU. When YOU gets into trouble. you
know what 10 do
'sThe very next week I was paid the
81. 90. I washed the sign off the front
door. and I guess. Mr.. John, that it will
STAY off. Hartford Times.