Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1897-04-14
about 'em. hut the centerpiece Of the
work run soEithin' like This:

tdIy ub6cI Two uISt-cldo0 r0CeS. uel
cruiser went down there on business.
but the captain. not bein' onto his job.
was shortly on the rocks. and when the
men swan ashore. the heather met
'em with q hearty reception. And 1t
was awful annOyin' after that to the
people on the English boats that went
sailin' by to see them savvidges asst.
tin on the rocks and sunnin' them.
selves, dressed In British naval uni.
forms and sarcastic smiles. And the
foreign secretary had taken to his bed
So the papers said.
1--WE sail for London tomorrow
said AbsalOm Biggs. who was standin'
In the doorway with his hands in his
pockets. All the Information you ever
got out Of Absalom about bis business
was volunteered, so saved my breath
by askin' no questions. We sailed with
fair weather and a good breeze. All
the way over Absalom didn't do any
thing but walk the deck with his hands
in his pockets and a commercial ex-
preston on his face. Did l tell you
that we didn't unload that rum?
I'VE reached London and ABalom
put on his best store suit to go up to
See the foreign secretary. He put one
one inside, for 1 don't know he says,
how the foreign secretary has his'n.'
You see, Absalom Biggs could carry
water on both shoulders about as well
as anybody. We had to pass about
twenty secretaries and assistant sesre-
taries, and every blessed one Of 'em
had an objection, but Absalom out
maneuvered all Of 'em. The foreign
secretary was sittin' in a chair as If it
had been built up around him. What
do you want? said he, lookin' at his
watch. Permission, says AbsalOm,
to catch Wally Bo Logn and his canny-
balls You have it, said the secretary,
and If you are successful her ajesty
will be pleased to extend to you her
grateful thanks and gracious commen-
dation.' And what might that COM
bina ton be worthY asked Absalom
Bigss. Ten thousand pounds said the
secretary, shortly. When We had a
note to that effect We left.
so we sailed down the African coast
with a cargo part of rum and part of
water. We had no firearms. 'Ammy-
nition,' said Absalom, costs money
didn't understand his plan. Once after
trader had tried to do business and
Wally Bo Logn at the same time with
rum. but that sly old chap ate the
trader first and drank his rum after
ward. Business before pleasure re-
marked Wally Bo LOgn.
I'VE went inshore ut night by the
dark of the moon and while the heath
'en was sleepin' we lightered that rum
TO land. And then at daybreak we
stood Off. There along the beach. stood
barrel after barrel of rum. And every
barrel had spigot and bright new
tin cup. chained fast, for tin cups cost
money was what AbSl lom said.
The heather came down 10 look at
the. brig and speculate about the
chances for breakfast; the tin cups
caught their eye, and then, pretty soon,
the rum caught them. Absalom stood
on the upper deck and watched them:
They're strong in the body but weak k
in the head Then he went down be-
low and read his Pilgrims Progress
and Guide TO Wealth
in the afternoon Absalom Biggs sur
veyed the scene again. He seemed
kind of pleased. And. finally. when
Wally 30 Logn got his marine cap
tammed do<n over his eyes and his
lieutenant's sword tangled up with his
legs ani sat down to unmiX himself.
Absalom ordered out the boats. Take
care of all of them that can't take care
of themselves kindly said he. BY
nightfali we had all the hea then care
fully slowed below.
These are your Instructions: Keep
the brig out of sight of Land until fur
ther notice And Absalom Went back
TO his Guide to Wealth.
We sailed up and we sailed down
We tackled this way and that, and
roa med around at our own free will
Ore more order we had from Ahsalom:
All you need give the savvidges Is
plenty of water and room to play. No
rum he added, absent-mindedly, for
rum costs money And then hea I'd
him chuckle again and say: They're
strong in the body, though weak in the
head
We'll. we went on a-sailin' And
Absalom cons ulted me just once more.
What do you know about 'rithmetical
reIrogresSion? he asked me. l was
young in those days-almost young
enough TO know everytnIng-and, nav
III the cannybals on my mind. l an
swered up smartly: The water Is
leetle brackish, but the harbor Is fair
and there are plenty of palms. 1t
hadn't any inhabitants the last time I
was there Never mind he said; If
you take 760 and divide 1t in two, and
then every four days cut your figgers
down one-half, how longu 1t be until
you have only one? Bein'a little weak
on figgers, I said nothing. And then he
fell to cipherin'.
After that Absalom didn't seem to
;ake any interest in our cargo. He
usually stayed in the ca bin and read.
And the Keep Mum kept sailin 'on,
toward the pole. 1t didn't
seem to make any difference to Abea-
lom whether her canvas from skysaib
to courses was spread to a spankin'
breeze or tapped idly in dead cam.
But finally, one day after he had
held a deep consultation with the al
manac, our course was laid for Lon
don. The morning we went up the
Thames Absa,om's interest in our cargo
cal me to life. He lifted up the hatch,
like, and after a bit Wally Bo
Logn's black head appeared. Now.
through livin' with and on mission
aries Mr. Bo Logn could speak En-
glish. We're gon' ashore said Absa-
lom. To eatT asked Wally BO Losn.
Yes replied Absalom, and Wally nod
ied his head. So we disguised him
with linen duster that fitted him rath-
ar soon. and added some other clothes
by way of adornment; then up went we
unfx