The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-06
HUMoR OF THE DAY.


"Time flies, you know" "Not al
ways. 1t is now possible to make a
century run. indianapolis journal.
He-"Do you believe in woman
taking mans place?" She-"Yes; in
a crowded street car "-Philadelphia
Record.
''AIiss Highsee is a beautiful singer,
isn't she?" every. That was what
made her singing endurable. Wash
ington Times.
He--'I love you better than my
life" She--"Considering the life you
lead, 1 cannot say that 1 am sur
prised. Standard
Mrs. Howso-"Did the butcher
send the lobsters?" Bridget-"He
did, mum, but 1 sent them back. They
wuzn't ripe. Brooklyn Life.
az never did have any head for
mathematics. "Uml l have always
understood that at home you did not
even count Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hope Is whispering "All is we'll"
Busy men do not deny IT.
Some are bringing wheat to sell,
others are digging goldto buy 1t.
Washington Star.
Friend-"Does your town boast of
a baseball team?" Suburbanite-
"No. We used to boast of one, but
we have to apologize for it now
Puck.
"Say, old man, you are so absent
minded, believe you are in love-"
Hobson-"Me? OH no! hol no!
Why, don't you know I'm married"-
Puck.
81 hope, Ophelia, that you are not
so foolish as to call yourself wash
lady "'Deed / don't, Miss May. I
calls myself a laundry lady. Indian
apolis Journal.
Jack-"How is your sister getting
on with her singing lessons?" Cissie
-"Well, papa has taken the wadding
out of his ears for the first time to-
day. "-Fliegende Bletter,
"There is one queer thing noticea,
BILE at all picnics." "What is that9"
"The man who makes the most fuss
about carrying the basket always eats
more than anybody else. Chicago
Record.
1T looks like rain" said the milk
man to the lady of the house After
examining the milk, she came to the
conclusion that it must be either rain
or water from the pump.--Norristowp
Herald.
He-"For my part can't see why
you women should want to ape men,
anyhow" She-"Oh. anything for
little change. We've been making
monkey of him long enough, "-Cleve'
land Leader.
He-"There is one thing to be said
about the Scotch dialect stories now
floating about" She --"And what is
that?" "They may be the same
old stories, but no one will recognize
them. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
Landlord-"Did they discover the
identity of that petrifed body which
was found in the valley yesterday"
New Yorker-"I don't know; but ]
think it was n man from whom one OF
your walters refused to take tip. -
Judge.
"Say, pawl is it anything to bras
about when you don't do something
you can't do?" "I'm inclined to think
not. Why do you ask?" Cause I've
just been readin' that cheriytree
story bout Washin'ton. - Detroit
Free Press.
Surgeon-"Hurry up. Get the in.
struments in readiness. Wen ampu.
tate his leg" Student-"But it seemG
to be nothing more than simple frac.
ture. / should think the leg might
be saved" Surgeon-"C Certainly it
might; but don't you sec that he's un.
onscious?"-Cleveland Leader.
Old Mrs. Kelley entered tho parloT
unexpectedly, aud spoiled very nice
tableau. 81 was just whispering a se'
cret in Cousin Jennie's ear, explained
Jimmie. 81 am sorry, James," said
the old lady grayely, that your eye.
sight has become so bad that you
mistake Jennie's mouth for her car"
Raaf,r, fVrava1ar.