Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-04-01
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The earnest question of the hour,
And general theme, no doubt,
L. NOT Of love or nulifics

Chicago Record.
Remains TO be seen: The boy who
has an appointment with the teacher
after school is dismissed.-Boston
Transcript.
Kean--Isn't your wife afraid to drive
that horse? Steam-Not at all. It's
the people she meets who are scared
Hartford Times.
First Office Boy-It says "Our hero
now partook of frugal repast" What
does that mean? Second Office Boy
Quick lunch.-Puck.
Husband-Why should you blame me
because we were late to the theater!
Wife-You forget, dear, that you hur-
ried me up so.-Puck.
"Wobbles rides his bicycle in his fiat
now" I'm his fiat?" "Yes; it's steam
heated, and be has to scorch up and
down the hall to keep warm. Life.
went into the theater,
But left it with a sigh;
The play was long, the jokes were broad.
The hats were very high.
-Pick-M e-Up.
"DO you think opals are unlucky!'
inquired the superstitious man. Yes,
was the reply. my wife wants one,
and it's going to cost me $50."-Wash-
ington Star.
Does your latest novel enjoy n large
sale? he inquired. Il don't know
whether the novel does or not" replied
the author, "but do."-Chicago Times
Herald.
Rural Teacher-What current event
of great interest can you give me this
morning Small Girl (eagerly)-My ma
has just made twenty tumblers of jel-
ly.-Judge.
Willie-It's always in damp places
where mushrooms grow, isn't it. papa!
Papa-Yes, my boy. us that the cea.
son they look like umbrellas, papaT-
Yonkers Statesman.
did you ever get so mad that words
failed you?" "Yes-once." when
was that? "Just one-eighth Of a Sec
ond after I called prize-fghter
liar"-Chicagd Record.
Mudge-Oh, yes, we had real lively
time, Simmons and I. 1t cost us near
ly $50. Wickwire-Yes. / saw Sim
mons this morning, and he told me he
spent $45.-Indianapolis Journal.
"Come, Julie, let's go and have
friendship oyster stew together"
Friendship oyster stew! What's that"
"Why, you pay for mine, and I'll pay
for New York Journal.
She-And you say that you have
never been in love? He-Never. l have
thought l was, seventy-five or eighty
times but 1 always found out after
ward that / wasnt.-Somerville Jour-
nal.
The subordinate-Here is a letter
from q young woman wanting us to
give some of the legends about the orr
gin of the fan. The Chief-Turn It
over to the baseball editor.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
However ling the line may be
With civic folk and troopers,
Each marcher proudly feels that he
Is the grandest in that pageantry;
The rest are merely supers.
Washington Star.
"And is she really the trained singer
she claims to be-" Beyond a doubt.
She can sing Comm Through the Rye
so that nobody can tell what it is with
out looking at the program."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer
First Doctor-Well, that's just like
these actresses! Second Doctor-What
is? First Doctor-Why, that Miss
May Cupp won't let us look into her
head with the X ray until she makes
up her mind.-Puck.
Brown-The sporting editor of this
paper doesn't know his business. lie
saws here that that lightweight boxer
weighed 11S pounds. Jones-Isn't that
right? Brown-No. He should have
said clipped the scales."-Judge.
Couldn't Stand Alone.-"They tell me
Van Wither is very weak since his last
sickness" HE is. l saw him on the
street just now and asked him for n
flyer: but he couldn't stand a loan
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Amy, my love, wish we lived in
the good old days when knight could
fight for his lady love-" why, George.
dear. as for that, you haven't asked
papa's consent to our engagement as
yet. you know."-ForgetMe
The Comedian ION the .defensive)--
But you know there are only seven real
jokes in the world, it is said. The Sou
brette-I know; what puzzles me is
that you have never happened upon
any Of them.-Cincinnati Tribune.
Nellie-I don't see why Charley Dim
pleton has suddenly been so taken with
Dot Thurston. How do you account
for it? Jessie..Oh, believe she was
the first one to Sotice that he was rails
ing mustache.-Cleveland Leader.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, ode
man dat pays hundu'hds OBJ dollahs fob
flags an decorations ain ez much OBJ
err patriot ez de one dat goes quietly
long an pays is taxes an serves on
de jury wifout n'."-Washington
Star.
Arizona Al-Wal, what do you think
of that? Here's Jim goin' an Citing
married! Chloride Charley-Wal, that's
the way of the world! Arizona Al
Right enough; but look at this: mo
Cards" That's what comes of mar.
ryin' inter plous family.-Puck.
The whale spouted in tSieE.Sa. "Nev-
err you mindw shouted Jonah, vindic-
lively; you've given me a good deal
of trouble, I'll admit, but you just
wait till the latter-day theologians
tackle your With n hoarse chuckle
he struck out over the sand dunes to-