St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1897-09-11

How the Molasses Worked.
But l didn't make no bee line for the
bank. / didn't want to meet up with
Bill till after dinner. lowed to myself
after he went home and put himself on
the outside of rale good dinner, and
heard the news from his wife in regards
to my visit and the various and sundry
''cute things" ] said about the baby. he
would be in better shape for business
With nothin in particlar to do. l took q
little turn around town with the boys
and rounded up at the bank along in
the shank of the evenin. Bill he was
smilin all over his big fat self and look
in as ripe and mellow as u Maypop. He
had heard from me at home and was
lookin for me to drop in and swap lies
with him about the old settlement and
old times. Was there anything he could
do for me?
"Well, Bill" says /. "my wifc's hus.
band is in n scandlous clcst place for
the time of year. There is mortgage
on one side and a double back action
waverly note on the other. and betwixt
the two they have got me danglin
around from a night sweat to buck
ager. Crops are turnin out sorry and
can't meet both of then, papers. With
a raise of two hundred dollars can lift
the mortgage on the home place. and
that would put me ahead Of the hounds
oncst more, with no fences to climb"
"The money is yours" says Bill. 'and
all want is your plain note-no waver,
no lean-nothin of that sort. and you
can take your time about the settle
ment."
feelin as cozy like as any gray rat in the
fodder loft when got home that night
But after supper l moved my chair
around tolerable clost to the other ccr-
ner, and takin her little hand in mine,
says l to myself, but said it out loud so
she could hear:
Rufus Sanders. you are mighty
small shakes, and only very few at
best, but you have got the sweetest
and most smartest wife in forty-seven
states and territories. Her head is
level, her hands are willin and her heart
is true. Hcnceforwards from now on
she is a full partner in this business.
and by the IL epistles she shall have
her say. The next time yon go dead
agin her Judgment to run in debt 1
will hire cheap niger for two bits to
kick you clean over the state line"
Andy Lucas In q Tight.
But did you ever hear tell how Andy
Lucas got himself into most hella-
tious" tight place. and the easy way in
which he got out?
Well, you must recollect that Andy
was the mill boy for the family, and
every Saturday the good Lord sent
he had to take a turn of corn on the
old gray mare and go to mill. One
Saturday the old man started Andy
off down to Stringers' mill. aud q
felonious big rain caught him on the
road. Andy's brecches was cut pow
erful big and loose and roomy like, and
he spread himself out over the meal
bag as best he could tryin to keep the
corn dry. But when he got to the mill
he was wet, and the meal bag was wet,
and the corn was wet-everything was
wet. Ii seems like the women folks
had forgot 10 beat the meal outen the
bag as usual that mornin. and when
Andy dismounted there was s0methin
like a peck of bread dough stickin to
the seat of his breeches.
Now it likewise also come to pass
that old man Stringer had a whole pas
sic of likely lookin girls at his house
which the same Andy he had been
cuttin the pigeon wing around there at
a right frequent and lively lick. But
he was in such a bad fix with his
clothes that day till he'wouldn't so in
to the house. He stood out in the
yard backed up agin the palms and
talked to the girls from long taw. AZ it
were. The girls they wanted hira to
come in and take seat and tell the
news. but the poor boy wouldn't
bulge marry inch. He took notice
presently that the girls kept mp q
monstrous gigglin and goin on amongst
themselves like as IL somethin had
tickled them most to death. and when at
last he come to his senses. blese gra-
cious, q blame little wobbledy-iegged
calf. which had been runnin loose in the
yard. had slipped up behind and
chawed about three-quarter sections
out of the seat of his breeches.
Andy was teilin a gang Of us boys
about it the next Saturday. when Bunk
Wetherford put in and wanted to know
how he managed to git out OF that
"orful ecrape."
'How did I git or.:" says AMY.
"Well. by gollys. ! jist naturally
backed out"
PCFCs sANrEEs.
Ona Rock Avoided.
Mrs. Worrid-How in the world did
you ever persuade yourself to marry 0
baker?