Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-25
DOOLEY ON CHRISTMAS GIFTS.
He Never in His Life Got What He
Wanted.

From the Chicago Post.
The approach of Christmas is heraIded
in Archey road by many of the signs that
are known to the less civilized and more
prosperous parts of the city. The people
look poorer. colder and more hopeful than
at other times. The bake shops assume
an old country appearance of gayety. The
saloons are well attended. Also if you
have your eyes about you you may catch
a glimpse. now and then, through a FROST
ed window pane of stunted Christmas
tree laden slenderly with glass balls and
ropes of red popcorn, the work of painful
hands after the children abed. Mr..
Dooley knew Christmas was coming by
the calendar, the expiration of his quar-
terly license and Mr.. Hennessy coming
in with a doll in his pocket and a rocking
chair under his arm
. "Prisints2" said the philosopher.
"Yis," said Mr.. Hennessy. Il had to do
it. l made up me mind this year that L
wudden't buy amy Chris mas prisints or
take amy. I can't afford it. Times has
been fearful hazard, an a look Nv pain
comes over tn OF woman's face whin L
hold out 30 cints firm salary on Satur
dab night. l give it out that didn't want
anything, but they'se SO much scurryin
ar-round an hidin things whin 1 go in that
1 know thy've got something FIR me.
cudden't stand it no longer, 1 wint down
town tonight, down be Shekel an Whoop-
er's place, an bought these things. This
1T is said Mr.. Dooley, taking the eff
fgy and examining it with the eye of an
art critic. 1T closes its eyes; yis, an
bedad. it cries if ye punch it. They're
maxim these things more like human bein's
iv'ry year An does it say pap-pah an
man-mah, ] dinnaw?"
NO." said Mr. Hennessy, eth pap-pah
an mam-mah dolls costs too much
Well" continued Mr.. Dooley. I'VE can't
have ivirything we want in this furruld. If
l had me way Id buy goold watches an
chains FIR ivrybody inn tn r-road, an a few
~ tn good Germans. l feel that ginrous
But it's no use. Ye can't give what ye
want. Iviry little boy iXpicts a pony at
Chris mas an iviry little girl chain an
locket, an iviry man thinks he's sure goin
to get tn goold-headed cane he's longed fr
since he come over. But they alr fin'lly
land on rOckin' horses an dolls and sus-
pinders that r-run pink flowers into their
shirts an tattoo thin in summer. An they
conceal their grief Christmas mornn' an
thry TO look pleasant with murdher in their
hearts.
Some wan always has give me Chris
mas prisint, though no wan has amy
Fright to. But no wan liver give me amy
thing | cud wear or ate or dhrink or smoke
curl me hair with I've had TASKS iv
whisky give meme that have lashins iv
whisky at me elbow day an night-an
whin l opined thin blue an yellow flames
come out an some iv tn stuff r-run over
tn fiure an set fire to tn buidin'. L
smoke tn best 5-cint see-gar that money
buy, yet whin good friend Nv mine
wants to make me a prisint f'r Chris mas
he goes to a harness shop an buys box Nv
see-Sars with excelsior films an burlap
wrappers. an if 1 smoked wan an lived I'd
be arristed fr arson. l got a pair iv Sus-
pinders wanst firm lady-niver mind her
name-an / wurruked hard that day an
the decorations moved back into me an l
had to take thin out with pumice stone.
didn't lose tn taste Nv the paint FIR weeks
an weeks.
I tod ofnh hi
anything in tn wurruld. l talked watches
to ivry wan that L thought had daysigns
on me. L made it a pint to ask me frinds
what time iv night it was an thin say
Dear me, / ought to get watch if l cud
afford it l used to tout people down to
tn jooler's shop an stand be tn window
with hungry look in tn eyes iv me- as
much as to say, If 1 don't get a watch
I'll perish 1 talked watches and thought
watches an dhreamed watches Father
Kelly raybuked me FIR bein' late FIR mass
How can l get there befure tn, gospil whin
don't know what time it is?' says 1.
Why don't we LUX at yeer watch" he
says. haven't none says L. Did he give
Inc watch? Faith, he did not. He sint
me a box iv soap that made me smell like
| coon goin' to ball in a State shtreet
ca-ar. l got a necktie firm wan man, an
If I'd wore ii TO meetin' iv tn Young He
brews Charitable Society they'dve thrun
me out That man wanted me to be kilt
Another la-ad sint me silk handkerchief
| that broke on me poor nose. TIL nearest
got to watch was a hair chain that IN
rayeled an made me look as IL I'd been
curryin Shetland pony.' niver got what
l wanted, an 1 niver expect to. No wan
does
III get we what ye want" said Mr. Hem
messy. IF yen tell me what it is an it
don't cost too much'
Will YEP" said Mr.. Dooey, eagerly
Il WILL said Mr.. Hennessy "if it's with
| in me means"
'ie'er jokin,'' said Mr.. Dooley.
I'm not. l name it,
DO we, honeIt?"
Il do so'
Thin said Mr.. Dooley, get me TIL
with FIR nanny years"
And Mr.. Hennessy went away with the
rocking chair under his arm. the doll in
| his pocket and dumb anger in his heart.
| Economical.
From Tit Bits.