The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1897-09-04
FILLING THE BASS HORN

FILLING THE BASS HORN.
taught TO hand up apples to the nran
on the high seat till the man told him
10 stop.
AT the ends the band chariot swept
upward with great curve. At the
rear end, away up in the air, was the
bass drum; at the forward end, just
under the back OF the drivers seat, was
the big bass horn. The man who
played the bass horn IN our band could
probably get more thunder out of that
massive instrument than any other man
that ever played one, and he was proud
Of II, OF course. But he was too pow
erful TO suit the driver Of the band
wagon. Bill liked music as well as
anybody, and II anything ho liked tho
bass horn little better than any other
instrument; but he didn't like quite
so much of IL as he got in the band
wagon. lie was driving n 20-horse
team, and he was just MS proud OF His
driving as the bass horn player was OF
his playing; and he used 10 say that
the vibrations Of the wagon at that end
caused 10y the heavy blasts of the horn
couldn't do his driving justice, and he
asked the bass horn player 70 let up a
little ON parades, but of course he never
did.
"One day, late in summer, when
we came TO an orchard Of beautiful red
apples, the keeper OF the giraffe at
once set the animal to work; and when
the band wagon came along Bill halted.
as he always did, 10 get his share. IL
was a still, drowsy day, the jolting had
been just enough to keep the flies Off.
and the whole band was scattered along
the band wagon asleep, from the bass
drummer up at the other end with his
head resting on his arms and the great
drum I'm front Of him. down along the
whole length OF the wagon 10 the front
seat, where, with one or two others,
under the overarching rear edge of
the drivers seat, sat the big horn
player, the great horn beside him. the
bell opening upward under the edge
of the drivers seat, like a rainwater
casl under the caves OF house. Driver
Bill leaned over back, and dropped the
first apple that the giraffe handed him
into the mouth OF the big horn, and he
kept on dropping them there as fast
as the giraffe handed them up. Alto
gether, he must have dropped into the
big horn about n peck OF apples, and
the jolting OF the wagon after that
wedged 'em in pretty tight. We were
taking a long jump that day; no day
show. and no parade that day at all.
THAT night when the bass horn
player tried TO sound his horn IL
wouldn't sound, npd people missed II.
You can't do without the oomphah,
complain, complain OF the big brass
horn any more than you can without
the sharp notes OF the E-hat cornet.
and folks began looking over toward
the band TO see what was the matter,
and when they saw what the bass horn
player was doing they called the atten-
ton Of the others, and pretty soon the
whole audience was looking over that
way They saw the leader leading.
and everybody but the bass horn player
playing right along as usual. The bass
horn player was trying 70 play, push
ing in keys and valves and blowing
himself red ia tho face. but making no
sound az all. But suddenly there shot
out Of the mouth of the great instru-
ment. like a ball out OF roman candle.
a single big red apple. Then all OF a
sudden the big horn began roaring and
rumbling and spouting red apples like
fireworks.
Even the clown laughed, and II was
10 minutes before the audience got
quoted down enough so that the show
could go on.
"of course, the old man had TO
know all about Il, and the upshot OF
Il all was that Driver Bill was sent
back TO the tiger cage, and the driver
OF the tiger cage was promoted 20 the
band wagon. And after that the bass
horn player used to play louder than
ever. When he blew complain.
complain, oomphnh. now, the forward
end OF the heavy band wagon would
surge and sway Ike light carriage
does when you jouncc on the scat
Alvin Hyperion, in Chicago Inter
Ocean.