The Monte Vista journal., 1897-10-16
BOB AND HIS WHEEL.
THE, HuMoalsr rELLs ArALE.
How He Tackled III. Blk. with c..ndsncs
and Left II n Coasssioa-wAas II Did
70 Hln.

Robert Burdettc. the famous humor-
ut. In letter to the Burlington Hawk
eye. deases the report that he ID dead,
ID tho following letter. dated Bryn
Aawr. The story Il told In his own pc
culiar style, and proves that the hu.
moF1st u very much alive, although
somewhat worsted by his experience
with the bike:
Ny Dear Wafte:-Iike the true friend
and loyal comrade you ever were. you
do right to protest against my burial
prior to autopsy.
am Indeed very much alive Not on
y. %. havn't been dead even a little
wanted to be. Could be yet, but don't
want. Maybe I ought to bc, even now.
Hut a. We make weekly confe 0,iOn,
I'VE have left undone those things
which We ought to have done"
PoSaibly the rulnOr that ! have kone
dead grew out Of the fact that have
learned to ride bicycle. say shave
learned" rot ''am learning" Learned
In one lesson. all by myself. Went out
In the moonlight last Friday night to
learn. having first locketi my family In
the house and forbade them to look out
OF the windows. Led my bicycle out
on the turnpike-the Bryn Mawr pixies
are broader than the way to destruc.
tiOn. twice ns smooth and much clean
er. It's a young bicycle. a cOlt-foalcsl
In VI. Would give the name hut for
the fact that had to pay for the wheel
VIII only say. therefore In accor,lanc.
with the ethIcs OF our profession. thut
It IL not the wheel anybody says II Is.
held him by the wlthers right In the
Naua al" . a
out assistance
0ot on again and proceeded to break
him to suddle.
Did ride the first time?
We'll. say!
People had told me--liars Of all ages
and both sexc~-that I couldn't fall II.
when felt that was falling would
stick out my foot.
I stuck out both feet and hands and
fell on my head.
fell OH ono side Of that dIal,ollcal
wheel AMI then ON the other; I fell on
both sides at once: I fell on top Of II
and underneath II. and made "doy-
falls" with II. I fell between the
wheels; fell behind the wheel and be-
fore the front wheel ut the same time
and don't know yet how I did II. I fell
and thrust both legs through the wI,Okcs
OF one wheel. ! met a terrified man In
buggy and druve him clear of the
pike through Whccicr's hedge. and I
don't think he has yet come back. Ev-
cry time fell I slapped the palms Of
my raw. swollen. throbbing hands on
the hard. ''inelaxtic" pike except the
time I fell ON my head. I fell harder
,aS sastN - L..
than any man could fall. unlees he
dropped out Of u balloon and lit In
load Of furniture. I lost my confidence.
my patience. my temper, my clamps,
lamp. hell and reputation. broke one
pedal. the saddle and the ordinance
against loud. bois:crous and abusive
language at night. I rnn into every
thing In sight except the middle Of the
Rad. ] sat down on everything In the
township except the saddle. I scorch-
t,.i 10 circuit NOT fifteen feet In circuu,.
Terence until you could smell brim.
stone. I made more rs.volutions than a
south American republic. aud didn't
Kct ten feet away from where I xtart-
I'd. ! haycp't been 10 mnuicxi and
abrniIesi. no ,humpel aud beaten. no
trampled upon and pounded. 70 bruIssSl
and scratched since left the army. hut
! can ride. l dent say that do" bur
"cnm."
ID" consider hiking good for tho
hcrithg
For the health ~ somc people I do.
! don't see how n physician can bring
M his family unless his children have
something to cat.
Rut In my own ease reserve my lie.
e'sion. will walt until know wi,c,l,.
~ am Eoing 10 die or get we'll. And
do you tell BrOthcr Davis 10 keep mis-
obituary ON the standing galley until
he hears from ''Slug Nine" I don't ls..
heve I've eOt '::sr' yet. although frie,nis
VIM rWllesi tO mn. me l,rewk
aown when they say "Eood.bye." and
walk nat Of the nom on tlptoc Hut I
wouldn't mind that II knew what had
heconae Of my shou!tler.bladea the time
! ran under the hay.waxn. ch~crfully
yUurs.-R. J. Rurlcttc. In Farm Mach.
tDHPY