The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1897-12-17


at first was a jolly looking, red-facet
little old man, on whom care or sorrow
seemed to have never laid finger.
"'Fine day. 1 said, getting off my
blackboard.
p ticlar fine an cheerful the little
old man said. 4 hain't see a cheer
fuller day in forty years an better
Then he went down the road whist
ling. L Has gazing after him yet when
some one said:
It's a leetle queer that Uncle Abe
went away without waitin' to see
whether you want going to buy sum,
pin an asst him in; but he's feelin
overpowerin' glib to-day, an mebbe
thought nothin' could make him feel
any better
This speaker, as 1 saw when ]
turned to look, was tall and slim and
lanky, and was whiting stick. He
had come from the barn, and, as |
found, was the landlord. l walked in.
1es,' said the lanky man, Uncle
Abel is feelin' overpowerin' glib to-day
You wouldn't take him to be a lone an
lorn Widderer, which the pardner of
OO!A was OulJ ldlu away HlSlG
da.-, now, would you?'
Il had to admit that the old gentle
man was a tritie clipper and cheerful
Tor one so recently bereaved.
Yes the landlord went on, Aunt
Huldy's left Uncle Abel at last. 1t
was sort of an accident like, though. /
don't think she ever would although
O doin' of it, cause Uncle Abel was
four that Aunt Hubby had handled, an
she had wore black bombazine fer
three on 'em, an it was jest as good as
ever, that black bombazine was, an
there amt no kind O. doubt that she
had a stiff idee O. wearin' it fer Uncle
Abel, an mebbe fer somebody that had
the courage to be No. 5. You see, Uncle
Abel is the harmlessest man that ever
sot round, an Aunt Huldy's disposition
S sot sumpin' like a cross-cut saw,
m when she got to movin' she was a
ripper. How would some fresh tansy
schunched in glass and moistened
with about three fingers O. J'maky rum
strike your
Il was willing to risk 1t, and the
1anky but garrulous landlord scrunch-
ed the tansy and moistened it per
recipe.
Yes, SIR he went on, having
scrunched and moistened for himself
also, and taken pay for both. Aunt
Hubby was ripper when she got to
movtn', and the trouble was she was
movin' most O. the time. I've knowed
Uncle Abel to roost in an apple tree on
his clearin' all night, waitin' for Aunt
Hubby to quiet down, an I've heerd
him say, more'n wunst, that it was a
good thing he'd been kicked in the
head by mule wunst and got over it.
or he'd be afeared O. the consequences
If Aunt Huldy got to movin'.
Aunt Buddy she was tremendous
sot ag'in Uncle Abel goin' fishin', an
Uncle Abel he'd ruther go fishin' than
to the circus. Last week he couldn't
hold oit no longer, and he went over
to Bon Runnels' pond to troll for pick
er'l. The fact is, though, that the pond
amt Ben Runnels, cause there ain't
no setch person as Ben Runnels. nor
hain't ben this twenty year an better,
an when there was a Ben Runnels he
didn't own the pond. The last day
there ever was Ben RunneIs he went
fishin' OH that pond. If the fishin'
hadn't ben so uncommon good that day
Ben mowt be with us yit. Ben had
half a pint O. fish worms with him in
an old tomattus can, an half a gallon
o. worm O. the still in jug. This was
for exhilaratin' purposes. Ben alluz
exhilarated arter ketchin'. a fish, but
the fish bit so fast that day that they
KEEP Ben buster than usual exhilar-
atm, so that when folks went to see
what was the reason Ben didn't git
home that day, an found the boat up.
sot an Ben an the jug f1oatin' in the
pond, there was less than two little
jiggers of exhilaration left in the jug
but there was more than five gallen O.
water in Ben. 1t wasn't drowndin' that
killed Ben, some folks thought. They
said it was the sudden washin' of all
tn exhilaration outen him by so much
water gittin' inter him that done it.
Ben not bein' used to setch overpower-
in Disappointment. An that's the way
Ben got the title to that pond, an it's
ben called Ben Runnels' pond ever
sence.
"'Wel1. there's where Uncle Abe
went fishin', spite O. Aunt HuIdy's
warnin S, an when he got back l don't
s'pose that Aunt Hubby ever moved sc
rippin in her life. All that Uncle Abel
has ever said about it is that she jest
swatted him over, an then sot on hin
till she peeled what Uncle Abel says
lust a ben more'n a bushel O. taters
Aunt Hubby weighed in the vicinity o
200 pound, an every time Uncle Abel
wiggled she'd scrunch down on him
An speakin' O scrunchin', there's lot
more tanzy: shell i
Il interrupted the landlord to say
that l didn't care for any more, and he
seemed so much disappointed and re-
mained silent so long that l began TO
think that / wasn't going to hear the
end of his story, but by and by he
started in again.
Yes, sir, she scrunched down on
him hard, Aunt Hubby did. She
scrunched down so fur arter awhile
that Uncle Abel says he got his eyes
on the shinin' shore, an was hopin'
that Aunt Hubby would give him an
other twist SOS he could get his feet
on it; but she want through with him
yit, an didn't let him pass over. There's
where Aunt Hubby made her mistake.
She ought to scrunched Uncle Abel all
the way over, an then she could took
out that black bombazine ag'in an