davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
A DISAPPOINTED BANDMAsTER
He Did His Best and Was IGnomlni.
Ous1y Suuplched.

He Did His Best and Was IGnomini.
ously Squelched.
Earthworks had been thrown across
the neck of land upon which City
foint is located, says the Century.
ms intrenched line ran from a point
on the James to point on the Apo
MattoX river. A small garrison had
been detailed for its defense, and the
commanding officer, wishing to do
something that would afford the gen.
erai-in-chief special delight, arranged
TO send the band over to the head
quarters camp to play for him while he
was dining. The garrison commander
was IN blissful ignorance of the fact
that to the general the appreciation of
music was a lacking sense and the mu-
slclans score sealed book.
About the third evening after the
Dand had begun its performances, the
general, while sitting at the mess-table.
remarked: I've noticed that that band
always begin its noise just about the
time / am sitting down to dinner and
want to talk" / offered to go and
make an effort to suppress it and see
whether it would obey an order to
cease firing" and my services were
promptly accepted. The men were
gorgeously uniformed and the band
seemed to embrace every sort of brass
instrument ever invented, from
dlminutiye cornet-a-pistons to gigan-
tic doublebass horn. The performer
WHO played the latter instrument was
ENGAGED within its ample twists, and
looked like man standing inside the
COILS or a whiSky-still. The broad
beited bandmaster was putting with all
the Vigor Of quack-medicine adver-
tsement, his eyes were riyeted upon
the music and it was not an easy task
to attract his attention. Like SPERM
whale, he had come up to blow and
was not going to be put down till ht
had finished but finally he was made
to understand that, like the hand-or-
gan man, he was desired TO move on.
With look OF disinheritance on his
countenance he at last marched off his
band to its camp.
On my return the general said: 81
fear that bandmaster's feelings have
been hurt, but / didn't want him to
be wasting his time upon person who
has no ear for music A staff officer
remarked: well, general. you We're at
least more considerate than Commo-
dore -, who, the day he came to take
command Of his vessel and was seated
at dinner in the cabin, heard music
on deck and Immediately sent for the
executive officer and said TO him: Have
the instruments and men of that band
thrown overheard at oncer
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

the Importance OF proper atten-
ton to this matter, says Dairy
World. In the first place. dairy
men catering to foreign sup
ply need one ounce OF salt to one pound
OF butter, with parchment paper on top
instead Of cloth. Then, too, the tubs
should be we'll soaked and coat or
salt rubbed on the inside before pack
Ing the butter. This will prevent the
butter from moulding. This IS very
important part of the work OF prepar-
Ing butter for market. There nave
been several thousand boxes or butter
shipped from our market, which nave
been received there with great FAVOR.
These boxes hold fifty-six pounds OF
butter net. They are made OF white
wood and lined with parchment paper.
This butter sells for better prices than
when packed In tubs, and we would ad-
wise all creameries to give the matter
of packing butter for foreign shipment
careful attention, and be ready to use
them at any time the foreign market
is in shape to pay us as much as our
Wv II Audi net, 81 IndI VIC Nsth
our surplus butter. II our surplus but
ter had been packed in boxes this sea-
son, it would have sold in the foreign
market for more money than 1t Will
ever sell for here, after losing the stor-
age and interest, and, at the same time,
we should have gained some favor with
the foreign market by letting them
l-nnuy ba five ht,ttnr hprp
well as Australia. 1t has been our
practice to ship the poorest butter. In
this way we have hurt our credit as
butter producing country. Now that
we have established so many creamer-
les there is less of the low grades OF
butter and more OF the high grades
than we can consume at home. II Is
very plain to be seen that it Is our
duty to cater to the wishes OF the peo-
pie upon whom we are dependent TO
use our surplus butter, and in order to
do this we must give them the style
OF package they require, as well as salt
ing and coloring to their wants. One
of our neighbors has just returned from
Liverpool, and he tells me he has seen
the retailer try to sell tub butter and
the buyer would not look at 1t, but
must have his butter from the square
box. The same butter would sell at
retail for two cents pound more cut
from the box than from the tub. Now,
with these facts in view, is it not worth
our careful attention to try and build
up trade for our surplus butter, which
the writer Is satisfied is going tn he
increased year by year. as the dairy
business is still in its infancy in this
country.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

You will limit the number of your
troubles if you limit the number you
tell them to.
One small fly is more effective in the
early summer morn than half dozen
alarm clocks.
A man always knows how to govs~i
his wife, but the trouble is she won't
let him do it.
1t did not require much of a philo-
sopher to discover that all rich widows
are handsome.
Marriage is Il failure when the man
handles all the assets and the woman
all the liabilities
To enjoy stuffed duck thoroughly
there should be only two present
yourself and the duck.
Speaking of condolences, it Ia
worthy OF remark that kiss, miss, and
bliss rhyme felicitously.
Many man has been arrested for
forgery simply because he tried to
make name for himself.
Death Is not always cure for ~
ing. In nine cases out of ten it breaks
out again on the tombstone.
The nations that preach the most
about peace on earth and good will to-
wards men are building the largest
bsttleships.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
SNAKE SKINS AS FANCY WORK
A Novel Use to Which the Discarded
Coverings of Reptiles Are Put.

~ NoNfi Use 10 btch the
Coverings of Reptiles Arc Put.
The ingenuity of woman has COM
passed new use for snakes by the dis
coyery that the decorative cast skins of
the creeping tribe may be converted
into bazaar attractions, says the New
York Herald. a we'll known savant,
whose sanctum is lined from floor To
ceiling with glass cases whence venom
Gus eyes regard his visitors with futile
fury. is besieged by ladies covetous of
novelties for their stalls, who beg elo-
quently for the cast-off clothing of his
have on hand large wardrobe of east
Off skins-a bankrupt stock, so TO put
it, or returned empties some perfect,
many insists and a few damaged
goods. \ really fine specimen like
this She held up for admiration a taw-
ny golden sheeny length Of scales.
brings quite a high price at a bazaar.
and many of my lady friends. weary OF
working the everlasting 'crewel,' or
perpetrating the many useless inven-
tons Of the feminine needle. 'hespeak'
a skin some months before it is due,
and are often quite angry that [ can
not induce snake to shed his skin with
due regard to specified bazaar date.
These ladies argue that il is great
saving of labor to substitute the ready
made clothing of the snake for a
worked tobacco pouch or blossoming
braces. while experience shows that the
average man readily invests in good
snake skin. AT present" he deplored,
my old clothes shop is nearly empty,
but Lent, fortunately. brings ar on
season in bazaars, during which have
al opportunity of saving serpentine
garments for good Easter crop"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
Where Rome Isn't In 1t.

There is one feature in connection
with this city, in comparison with
which Rome isn't in it, never was IN
it, and l take it upon myself to say,
never will be in it," Dragged a western
man as he escorted party of tourists
over enc of the big towns of the west.
I'm what does that feature consist?''
asked curious visitor.
Rome wasn't built in day"
proudly answered the western man.
Elk.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
MORE OR LESS HUMOROUS.

Two bites into an apple picked UP in
n store cost a resident of Portland, Me,
three front teeth. He concluded that
that must be the kind of apple from
which hard cider is made.-New York
Sun.
Society is going to the demnition
bowwows." declared the rapid scion
of a wealthy house. whats the mat
ter now. Dick?" 'Pawnbroker at the
reception this afternoon wearing my
diamond pin."-DetrOit Free Press.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
DishOnOred Drafts.

When the stomach dishonors the drafts
made upon it by the rest of the system, it il
necessarily because its fund of strength is
very low. Toned with Hostetters Stomach
Bitters,. it soon begins TO pay out vigor in
the shape of pure, rich blood, containing
the elements of muscle, bone and brain.
As a sequence of the new vigor afforded the
stomach, the bowels perform the functions
regularly, and the liver works like clock
work. Malaria has no effect upon a sys-
ten thus reinforced
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
Sisterly.

'She said she would be sister to me,
and she kept her word"
In what way!n
''She objected to all the girls l wanted to
marry"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
Too Much for Her.

Biker-Talking about cattle, we
came across mighty wicked looking
COW when l was out with Miss Blumer
the other day.
Wheeler-What did she do?
Biker-Made a bee line for the next
county.
Wheeler-What; deserted you and
the tandem?
Biker-No, no, was referring to the
COW.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
Mistaken Hi< Calling.

Author-May, I've made a mistake in
my calling-rm not an author, but a
born chemist. Authors Wife-What
makes you think that, HoraceP Auth
Orwell, every book / write becomes
drug on the market.-Tit-Bit
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

bun variety is clear buzz, uniform In
shade except the tail, which Is deep
buff or copperlsh-yellow brown. The
buff color should extend to the under
color as much as possible; the deeper
the better. The standard weight of
cocks is 91s pounds; hens. 7la pounds;
cockerels, 8 pounds; and pullets, 6Za
pounds.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
His Everyday Wife.

"Does your wife take any interest
in current politics." asked the earn
oct woman.
Nav" replied Mr.. Sodfarm, "she
dun't. but IL it's currant jelly CIR cur
rant pie, why l allow she could tell
you more things about 'em n you ever
crcmp of."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
The Proper Place.

Banks-I told that idiotic doctor that
suffered greatly from chills, and asked
him why he didn't cure me.
Downs--Well'
Banks-He told me to go to the devil, q
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
At Waterloo.

1t was just previous to the battle Of
Waterloo. The Duke of Wellington
was eating. Before he finished his re-
past he remarked: Il enjoyed that
meat, especially the Bonaparte, and
now OF Corsican so some pastry. Bring
me Napoleon"
After the battle was over he said of
the opposing general: "Waterlooser he
was"
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
IOWA CHRISTIAN ENDEAvoRERs
The Burlington Route Is the Official


The Burlington Route Is the Official
Route
To tho San Francisco Convention. The
Iowa c. L. special train leaves Omaha nc
4 p. III. Wednesday, June 80. Through
tourist sleepers. Stopovers ut Denver.
Colorado Springs, Monitou and Salt Lake
City. Endeavorers and their friends who
take this train are guaranteed a comfort
able journey, fine scenery (by daylight,
and first-class equipment
Lowest rates ever known:
s22. 80 Omaha to San Francisco
$3.50 San Francisco to O uaha.
CorrespondingIy reduced rates from
points in Iowa
Berths reserved and descriptive matter
mailed on request. Write to A u. Kinzer,
Lyons, Ia. or j. Francis, Genl PasS'r Agt.,
Burlington Route, Omaha. Neb
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
Wet Paint.

Distinguished artist-Be careful Of the
picture; it's not dry
Art Gallery Porter-It's all right, sir;
I've got my old coat on.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
One Consolation,

''Fine feathers said the philosophl-
cal crow unto his mate, fine feathers
make fine hat trimmings. "-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
DAIRY. AND POULTRY.
INTERESTING CHAPTERS FOR
OUR RURAL READERS.
How Successful Farmers Operate This
Department. of tho Farm--A Few
Hints az tn the Care Of Live Stock
and Poultry.
Packages for tho Foreign Market.

~ eastern mer-
chant who ships q
great deal Of but
ter TO the London
market described
at the recent Iowa
dairy convention
the kind Of pack
ages that give the
best satisfaction to
foreign dealers and
buyers, and urged
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

UR lesson for to-day
includes > Tim. !: /
Z and 3: li-17, as fol-
lows: l Paul, an
apostle of Jesus
Christ by the will of
God. according TO
the promise of life
which is in Christ
Jesus. . To Tim
othy. my dearly be-
loved son: Grace.
mercy. and peace.
from God the Faith
"a, and Christ Jesus
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

believe my prompt use OF Piso's Cure
prevented quick consumption. Mrs. Lucy
Wallace, Marquette. Klaus. Dec. ~, '95.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

A very rarely found bird white wild
goose, was recently shot ut Mathews, Me.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

To Cure Constipation Forever
Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic. 1Gc or 25c If
[. [. L. fail 10 cure. druggists refund money.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

Hand-painted shirt fronts are considered
quite dressy by many of the London tops.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

No man ever gets quite close to God
rs he does when his little child is sick
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
The Author Appeared.

Crissip-I hear that Scrawl had to
make speech at the first presenta-
ton of his play last night. What did
he saw
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
breeding Dairy Cows.

A writer in Dakota Farmer gives this
advice:
/. Select the best COWS in your herd,
or that you can buy, to keep, and dis
pose of the others.
2. The best cow for the dairy is the
one that produces the greatest amount
Of butter fat in year (for food con-
sumed) when being rightly fed.
3. To renew or increase your herd
raise the heifer calves from your best
COWS.
4. Test your COWS by weighing the
milk of each cow for year and testing
it occasionally with the Babcock milk
tester, and know how much butter tat
each one does produce.
5. Use the best dairy bred sire you
can get; one, if possible, that has a
long line Of ancestors that have been
iirst-class dairy animals.
6. Keep a record of the time when
the cows are bred and have no guess
work about the time of calving.
Z. 1t Is neither profitable nor ncces-
sary for a cow to go dry more than
four to six weeks.
8. The udder should receive prompt
attention. An obstacle may be re-
moved from the teat the first hour, that
might battle science later.
.. After separating the calf from its
mother, feed the natural milk as soon
as drawn, for week or ten days.
10. Don't milk the udder out clean
until the fourth day after calying.
This will often prevent chill, which
often produces milk fever.
time Of cultivation due to the length
ening of rows is greater than any sup
pose who have not tested the matter.
BY the watch find that when rows are
eighty rods long an acre is cultivated
in three-fourths Of the time required
for cultivating in rows thirty rods long.
Long rows make work easier for man
and team. II we would compete with
the west we must plan for long. mar
row fields instead of the little square
ones usually seen. The filling of open
bitches and abandonment Of useless
fences makes this possible on a major
ity of farms. Experience has taught
me that the saving Of money due to re-
moval of fences was truly not needed,
the gain from cultivation Of fence-rows
and the gain In rapidity Of cultivation
where rows are long, amount in the ag-
gregate to nice sum OF money! sum
that would materially increase incomes
for thousands il the plan suggested
were adonted.-Ex.
Profitable Cows.-Which n the most
profitable cow to keep? 1t Is the cow
that produces the most at the least
cost. In the ninety days test at the
worlds fair the best cow cleared a
profit of over SIS and the poorest q
profit of only $24. Turning now to the
food account, we find that the cost of
food in both cases was practically the
same, yet one COW had the ability to
make three times the profit upon prac-
tically the same food. There are cows
In every herd that have this ability;
find them out. In these days of keen
competition we must reduce the cost
Of production, and this aspect Of the
question should always be taken into
consideration.-Ex.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

Our grand business is not to see what lies
dimly at distance, but to do what lies
clearly at hand-Carlyle.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

whole night through,
Altho'-weil sugars just as sweet,
And yiolets are just as blue.
Just thirty days and nights ago,
We went on many a joyous Jaunt-
/ only watched her eyes, you know,
While she gazed on the elephant
Now, weli-into those blooming doors
You couldn't drag me in with mules;
All elephants, l vote, are Doors
And folks who stare at them are
fools.
\ month. little month ago,
| loved TO sit and watch her eat,
/ loved to see the pale wine flow
Into her mouth so large and sweet;
-Sow. we'll, am inclined to think
a fairy would be just my size
The sort of lady love who'd drink
And eat TO me only with her eyes.
j. L. l..
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

NO-TO-Bac for Fifty Gents.
Guaranteed tobacco habit cure. makes weak men
strong blood pure Doc, 81. All druggists.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08

Dale-He said il the audience would
not tear up the seats they could have
their money back.
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
SOME GOOD JOKES. ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.
The Lecturer on whisky, the Curse OF
the Country Was Observation-Disclosures
and Consciousness Go Hand in Hand
Elotsam and Jctsam.
Loves Repentance.

q little
month ago,
She filled my
fancy's dear
est fight
And just because l
loved her SO
l walked, to think
of her, at
night.
2ut now I blush as
L repeat
That | repose the
Decorah public opinion. (Decorah, Winneshiek County [Iowa]) 1895-1928, 1897-06-08
1925 Miles,
lO47 Minutes---

the worlds record for long
distance fast running.-held
by the Burlington Route.
February 18th a specia |
train over its lines made
the run from Chicago to
Denyer-a distance OF 1925
miies-in the unprecedented
time of IS hours and SO
minutes. Allowing for stops,
the actual running time
was II hours and 81 min
utes, and the average rate
of speed 5S "a miles an
hour.
Write Tor booklet telling
how run was made. Write
also for information about
rates and trains via tho
Burlington Route TO Denver,
Salt Lake City, Deadwood,
Helena. Butte. Spokane,
Seattle, Tacoma, Portland,
San Francisco or any other
western city.
General Passenger Agent
Omaha, Neb.
The National tribune., 1897-02-11
Various Things.

EDITOR NATIONAL TRIBUNE: The King
is dead Long live the King" While we pay
tribute of respect Capt Lemon, and remem-
Der his work with gratitude and praise, we also
add, Long live THE NATIONAL TRIBUNE
May it prosper, and for many years cheer
our hearts as we are slipping down LIES
hill. unable to grab rootn to retard our
descent. / heartily approve the course lately
followed of printing the old poems and
songs which cheered us in the COS. wish
some comrade would send THE NATIONAL
TRIBUNE the words of the old song, Grand
mother Told Me So" and the words we sang
to Bonnie Blue Flag" the chorus of which
ran:
.. Hurraf, hurrah for equal rights hurral.
Hurrah for the dear old flag that bears the
Stripes and Stars"
By the way, once heard Chaplain Lozier
explain G.. Al to mean "Grab root" and
said that during an engagement some timid
comrade would hunt the shelter of tree.
Presently others would come, bent on the
same errand. The late-cOmers would al
ways crowd in next the tree and soon crowd
the others out into range of missiles. To pre-
vent this they would call to each other:
"Grab root; grab root" Next!-C. A.
HOWE, Co. G, 139th ILL.,, Wyanet, Ill.
The National tribune., 1897-02-11

WORDS OF WISDOM
There are two kinds Of people on earth to-day,
just two kinds Of people. no more. say.
Not tile sinner and saint for tits well understood
The good are half bad and the bad are half good.
Not the rich and the poor, for to count man $
wealth
You must first know the state of his conscience
and health.
Not the humble aud proud for in LIES little span,
Who puts vain airs is not counted man.
Bring each his laughter and each man his
tears.
No; the two kinds of people on earth mean,
Are the people who iif and the people who lean
Wherever you go, you will find the worlds masses
Are always divided in just these two classes.
And oddly enough. you will find. too, ween.
There is only one litter 10 twenty who lean.
In which class are you? Are you easing the load
OF overtaxed lifters who toll down the road?
Or arc you Ieaner, who lets others bear
Your portion Of labor and worry aud care?
Ella Wheeler Uitc0r.
In Chicago, with their usual vim, they are
pushing the theater-hat crusade to an immedi-
ate and successful issue. Not only does the
law allow that a woman may be fined So If she
wear a big hat to theatrical performance but
she can be put out of the theater if she refuses
to abate the nuisance of her millinery. Public
opinion has been thoroughly aroused, and the
woman is also liable to be Kissed, and to be thus
publicly rebuked for lack of courtesy is surely
not to be risked by any modest woman.
x*x
Apropos of laws concerning women, there is,
so the story runs, Minnesota legislator who
proposes "A bill for the suppression of female
FOOLS" Luckily it specifies particular brand.
Women, men or neuters who send flow
ers candy. or angel cakes and plush bound
copies of Keats 10 wife murderers aud thugs
shall be imprisoned or fined, unless the wife
murderer thug be near relative"
va
Napoleon blue a bright, silvery tint which
perhaps tho Emperor never saw, is listed
among the fashionable shades.
~
Here is dish apron Of NINE and it has been
admired SO much / will send it to THE Ma.
TIoNAL TRIBUNE 1t is long enough to reach
clear to the bottom of the dress. with pockets
and bib, as represented. The middle piece is a
plain halfbreadth Of gingham. The side pieces
are made by goring breadth so that third
shall remain for the narrow end and wo-thrds
for the wide, as gingham is alike on both sides;
this answers for both sides. The pockets FIN.
ished at the top with feather stitching of red