El Paso daily herald. (El Paso, Tex.) 1881-1901, 1897-04-28


Everybody knows just what a police
man does, but the ward heeler's history
is unwritten.
Wonder if Alderman Caldwell will
Irvine himself around the new body o.
aldermen as he did around the OLD
cOuncilmen.
While citizens are talking about
amending the city charter te
save expense, why don't some
one suggest that the Office of city at
torney be abolished and the duties Of
the office be made incumbent on the
tall prickly pear from the fourth
ward?
He who steals from the city treasury
steals dough, but he who steals the pal
lot box takes the whole bakery.
The machine could not wait and take
chances in getting into Office IN legal
way by counting the votes in the bal
lot: the interest on the money invested
was running up all the time.
Mayor Magoffln was out looking to
that the river was quitting its banks
and had taken to the sand Hats.
Each new policeman should be given
q CERTIFICATE. There were several
left over from the late election and the
city will not have to go to the expense
of having new ones printed.
Some very funny things sometimes
creep into the schoolroom. A few days
ago the class in physiology had the
subject: ''asphyxia,'' for its morning
lesson. Wishing to impress upon the
pupils the necessity of being ready for
an emergency, The teacher asked one
of the members of the class to state
what she would do in case someone
drowned. The young woman very
promptly answered: Lay the person
fiat on his back with his face down
ward It is needless to say that
closed the recitation for that day.
Here are the eggs, num- "Lay
them on the table, 81 am not the
hen, mum! 1 am the groc=r's boy"
She-"That little fool, Johnny Moore
has proposed to me.' Her dearest
frIend-"When will the wedding take
place."
First Justice of the Peace-''Doing
much 10 the wedding trade now" Sec
ond ]. P.-"YeS: business is good. Peo-
pie getting married this } ear who never
got married before"
Fashion moves westward slowly but
surely. The Mississippi river has been
flooding that section for over month,
and now the Rio Grande threatens to
apply the flood to the west.
The purity of the Ell Paso ballot box
is on the same plane with the purity of
the ladies in the reservation.
A man was brought up before an Ell
Paso Judge lately charged with gam
bling. The man had been great help
in the late election and as witnesses
that his game of "chuches" was not
gambling he produced two machine
ward hee!ers who testified that the
game was q percentage game and no.
d banking game. Tois give the Judge
a loop hole to escape, so he defined
gambling as a game where everybody
who played took chances. All the
chance the man who kept the gaming
table took was that if one of the men
playing won the table got no percent
a &c, while if the other party won the
table did get percentage, the man
was acquitted. Since then "chuches"
has become favorite game without
license while the 'legitimate' gambler
is heavily taxed.
"What will tie new admin istration
dO?' is the question asked on every
hand. Every body is at sea and no one
knows just Who is going to lay their
hands on plum. Bob Ross smiles and
seems to be confident of being the next
chief of police, but still rumOr has it
that Con Lock hart, of Houstan, is slat-
ed for that job. For the city secretary
ship, Davis and Catlin are running neck
and neck, but rumor has it that there
has been compromise and that Clerk
will hold his old job Stacey
and Schloss are leading for scavepger,
while Harry Chairman has been men
toned for the place, but If there is any
comp; omise for this place, rumor say
eth naught. If compromise has been
effected Major McGlenuon will prOba-
bly, retain his present position as ''cOm-
missioner of public works" and Ed.
Wales will return to his saloon to deal
out beer and pretZels. just when and
how lightning is going to strike no one
seems to know, but rumOrs OF COM
promise are floating in the air as the
cause of the city council yesterday act
ing the way it did, in direct opposition
Of law and against the mandate OF the
court.
y history of the acts of the city couu-
I'll at yesterdays meeting is being |
and viii be sent on to Wash |
ngtOn as fast as steam can pull the |
petition over the rails. y republican
meeting should be held to
the effects of the endorse |
nent meeting" that was held last |
all.
The Cotton Chronicle says this mean !
hing about the queen of the fiesta at
Los Angeles: Miss Alexander, the |
queen OF the fiesta, states in an inter-
Jew, that when the position was Of