Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-14
PERILs OF EDUCATION.
The Old Mountaineer Found 1t n Trouble.
some Thing.


some Thing.
"Speakin' bout eddecashun," said the
old mountaineer as we sat on q log at
his door smoking our pipes, "spcalin'
bout this yere eddecashun that yo' git
outer skules and books and papers,
never could abide it."
"Most people believe in education" I
replied.
LET 'em believe. That very bizness
of book-larnin' is the cause of my hevin'
second wife, rhis ole shackelty cabin,
an of my son Tom bein' the Lord knows
wharf"
81 would like to hear your story"
"Wall, l hain't no objeckshuns to
tellin' it, and mebbe it'll prove warn
in to yo' not to try to be too powerful
smart. Yo' see, had son Tom, and
he was SO cute that everybody said I
orter send him down to Knoxville to be
dedicated. 1 was jest fule huff to do
it, and things turned out as might hev
bin expected"
"Did he go to the bad?"
mo, not that, but he sent the rest of
us thar. AFTER he'd bin down thar
bout two vars he Gums home one day
on visit. We was livin' three miles up
the road then. had mighty good
log house jest at the foot of what we
call Coon mountain. Way up on the
top OF the mountain was a thumpin'
big rock, standin' thar all alone by
itself. Tom had seed that rock dozen
times before this day I'm speakin' of,
but wasn't idiot huff to NEEDLE with it.
Wall, when he cum home he begun to
talk about material science, material
philosophy, fulcrums, levers and all
SIGH, and bimeby he said he was eddie.
Gated huff to tip that big rock over.
SEE to him, seq I: Tom, don't be a.
CROWN over your old dad. Eddecashun
can't tip over rocks no mo- than it kin
raise con stalks 20 feet high"
''But it can," said, as he shook his
head and sighed heavily.
Eyes, I found out that she could.
Tom he talked till he got me riled up,
and I Jest told him that if he could
tip that rock over with his own hands
I'd gin him mewl colt. He grins and
chuckles and says he'll 'stonish me, and
I'm free to say that he did. The onery
critter toted his fulcrums and levers
and material philosophy up the noun
tain and went to work on that rock.
One AFTERNOON, when was hoein' con
and cussin' the poor quality of the sile,
sunthin' happened"
"The rock moved, presumed"
''She did, stranger-she did! Natural
philosophy was too much fur her, and
she rolled over and took start. She
was Jest in line with the house, but we
hadn't thought o. that. heard a noise
like the heels Of 10000 nevis a-kicl<in'
~ barn-door to once, and looked up
to see that ole 50-toner a-comin'. The
ole woman was in the cabin a-singin'
Happy Day and patchin' my trousers
and she didn't hear me holler. The rock
made Decline fur the cabin, smashin'
and crashin' and maxim the airth trem-
BILE, and when she struck it was like the
fall of so big trees to once"
"And your wife-?"
"Never even found a piece of her!
Everything was carried across the road
into ravine so feet deep, and I could
never be exactly sartin of the spot whar'
the cabin stood"
"And what became Of Tom ?"
"Run away, and I've never sot eyes
on him sence. Dasn' face me arter that,
I reckon, though I got over my mad
ness arter bit. had to build this yere
cabin, git spliced to that ar woman in
side and lose my only son, all on ac-
count of what they calls eddecashun,
and yo' can't wonder I'm agin it. Yes,
I'm powerful down on eddecashun.
Stranger, be yo' one of them dedicated
critters?"
II can't say I am"
"Then it's all right, and you kin hev
the best bed in the house and roast
chicken fur breakfast! If yo' was ed
decated, however, I'd be bound to say
you'd better hitch up and move on
Detroit Free Press.