The San Francisco call., 1897-11-19
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JUDGE DE HAVEN'S NEW VOCATION

Panic reigns in the Strathmore bu Id
ing, on the corner of Grove and Larkin
streets. In ad ition to panic there is
also chaos and conformation.
Judge J. J. de Haven is understudy for
the "ooy" who runs the eleva or. That
is his relaxation after a dav spent in fiH-
ing belated lawyers and witnesses and
incidentally deciding rs.
After subsid izJns the eleyator-boy
with theater tickets the Judge takes full
charge. and here is where the occupants
OF that apartment-house are in a di
lemma. If they ride in the elevator
dur ing the Judges incum bency the in
surance COMPANIES will notify them that
they are "extrahaZardous risks Ii
they do not ride they incur the ill-will
OF the Judge and may suffer in his court
The terrors of the court prevail and
they ride, and thereby hangs tale. In
fact, there are several tales. ALI sorts
OF stories float out of the Strathmore
since the Judge turned elevator boy
They are of the kind that curdle the
blood and make the hair stand on bald
heads
Dr.. Daywalt was the first to come in
contact with one of the Judges peculiar
stops and there is still a dent in the
ceiling OF the elevator where the doc
tors silk hat was crushed Then No
tary Gates sat down so hard after one of
De Haven's starts that he now stands up
ali the time.
Agent Dorm, who has char~e OF the
builhing, thought he would try dlpIo-
Jude 10 seek some other relaxation,
but now he tries arnica and witch hazel
on himself.
To make matters worse the Judge dis
guises himself in the skull-cap OF the
elevator boy and his best trends fail to
recognize him. Tney scold the elevator
boy for his carelessness and then are
dismayed when he turns his legal eve
upon them and withers them as he does
the inquisiiive Juror who takes upon
himself the prerogatives of the court.
Watch me reverse decision and
then see me reverse this elevator" says
the Judge to those who labor to wean
him from his new fad. DO you think
for a minute that man who sits on the
bench OF the Circuit Court of the United
Stats is not capable of guiding a measly
elevator. Get in and let me show YOU
how the thing work."
Inc Otner DAY the Judge remarked:
II have always longed 10 rise in the
world and she let slip this opportun-
Ivy? No! Who knows what day | NAV
be thrown upon the cold and unchari-
ia bic world and compelled to earn a
livelihood by manual labor. Now let
that erstwhie dreaded day come and it
has no terrors for me. | have found a
vocation at last and the ups and downs
of life no longer I'LL nv soul with dismay.
l am getting accustomed 10 them and
must say that | like them"
But while the Judge il. enjoying him.
self with his relaxation. and the eleva-
tor boy gets 4 much needed rest, saying
nothing of the Improvement OF the
business of nelghboring drugstores, the
lessees of the building see bankruptcy
and ruin staring them in the face. They
dare not offend the Judge by ordering
him TO cease using their elevator as his
playground, yet unless something inter-
venes the Strathmore wi be in condi-
tion where both elevator and boy will
be useless appendices.
Some nj ht the ropes will be cut when
the cage is at the top of the shaft, and
the mangled remains of the Judge will
be taken from the wreck a. the bottom.
OOSOONGN1OSO