The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-18
91RBERED THE WHOLE TOWN.
, MY DEFENsELESS HEAD
s,VG THE CLIPPED CHOIR.

Woods-A "Reminiscences of
-dcr Days in sylvania.
..,a Ga, April 16-Sylvania now
,,ro barber shops, H. r. Kemp having
no .sl,.bed himself near the postofice.
4 3oor to the popular painting depot
~ McGinnis. Mr.. Kemp, or Ross"
,s Dopularly known, is the man who
.io,ated the shears about ten sum-
ago when the whole town and SUR
ling country. of the masculine gen.
we're clipped and shaved whether
u.r desired it or not, and sent home to
anauished families slicker than new
borr babes
1.is an interesting Renaissance of Syl-
ia in her border days, when the rail-
DDS had Just reached her and before the
latter spirit had passed away. :
r was quiet morning in July when
u ,b,ea gay young men of the town conclud-
N a hat they would break the monotony
q ~ tbe village and at the same time make
" tpa community feel more comfortable, by
shining everybodys hair, and, in addI-
ian shaving those who wore beard Of
srv description. They first went up stairs
~ rhe tonsorial sanctum and saw Ross.
4 who readily entered into the scheme and
offered to do all the work for nothing.
The clippers were brought out and sharp
ened and also screwed up so that they
would take the hair off a few days under
the scalp, and the razors were put in good
Trim. To prepare themselves more fully
for their work the committee decided to
lei the barber do them up first They
were quickly shorn of everything that
the clippers or razor could reach from
the neck up, and then felt ready and anx~
ious TO do up the town.
The first man they met UP with was a
Young fellow by the name of TompkinS,
who was to have been married the next
week and who had come to town that
morning to see the preacher and buy his
license. The boys told him what they
wanted and at the same time, one grasp
ing him by each arm and the other walk
ing behind. they began gently but firmly
10 lead him up the steps. AT first, Temp
kins laughed, and thought it was a good
Joke but as they went further, his smile
became less mirthful and he asked them
what they were really going to do. They
told him again, and he then begged them
10 let him off. He said he was to be mar
ried the next week, and invited them all
ont to the wedding But the invitation
came TOO late BY this time they were in
the sanctum, and the fatal clippers were
in full view. Tompkins then lost his tenn
per and swore that he would prosecute
them but they gently forced him into the
chair and told the artist to do his work.
Then the young man thought of a sweet
maiden who was anxiously awaiting the
return of her lover, and he begged their
pardon for what he had said, and hoped
they would desist from anything farther
But the die had been cast by fate, and it
was against Tompkins. The clippers and
razor did their work well, and when he
looked in the glass the young man simply
sighed and walked sadly away. The
Tompkns wedding didn't come off the
next week, nor has 1t come
off yet When he went back
his girl said that in the first place
she didn't believe it was TompSins-that
it was an imposter; and in the second
place. if it was Tompkins, she said she
had lost all affection for him.
Several young men of the village were
next taken up and put through the ma
chine, and each one, however much he
may have kicked beforehand, after the
magic clippers had passed over his head,
was always willing and eager to join the
company. So the gang hourly increased.
The crowd was very anxious to get their
successfully avoided them. Finally how
ever, he was caught while going through
the fields from the office to his home, and
threats of fines as well as pleas for mercy
fell alike in vain upon the ears of his
captors-and his honor was soon as slick
headed as the rest and anxious to help
catch somebody. The town marshal had
been among the first victims of the morn
ing, and 1t was useless for any one to call
on him for protection. The entire town
council had followed in rapid succession,
and looked as white and cool as the drift
ing snow. The boys were going in for
municipal reform with a vengeance. The
sheriff of the county had submitted grace
fully to the inevitable. and afterwards
gave valuable aid in bringing in those
who were inclined to be rebellious.
A certain dignified lawyer of the village
for long time escaped all the snares that
we're laid for his feet, or, more properly
speaking, for his head. But time and a
pair of barber's clippers will at last set
all things even, and late in the afternoon
the sheriff got straight behind him down
the principal street of the town. Such a
race had never been seen in the county
before. He was at last headed off and
caught, and though he put in all kinds of
ingenious pleas, they were promptly over
ruled. He then threw himself on the mer-
cy of the court, but they decided that in
asmuch as he had tried to escape he
should have the full penalty. And he
got it.
There was a merchant in the town, of
jolly good disposition and considerable
avoirdupois. He found out what the boys
We're up TO early in the day, and to save
his hair and moustache closed up his store
and would not venture out. When one of
them knocked on the door and asked to be
admitted, he told them that he didn't
want any foolishness like that. The clan
was hastily called together and after a
snort discussion of the case he was num-
oered with the elect. But the trouble was
TO get him. He slept in an upstairs room
over the store, and after he had retired
mat night,one of the boys, armed with the
clippers gained access by some means and
started up the steps. But the merchant
heard him, and jumping out of bed he
rushed out on the veranda and determined
TO slide down one of the posts to the
ground. It was a rather bold proceeding,
Tor II was a bright moonlight night and
ne was scantily clad. But the man with the
Shppers was at hand, and so he launched
praVely out. He was not a whit too soon,
Lof as ne clutched the post with hands and
ieet and started downward, the dreaded
instrument grazed his scalp. Down, down