The Madison daily leader. [volume] (Madison, S.D.) 1890-current, 1897-09-07
EASY FOR CstIMMIE.
HOW ASMART NEW YORK fCUNGSTER
GOT THE JOB.

An Office Boy Who Didn't Smoke Ciga-
rettes Was Wanted, and Every Appli-
cant's Fingers Were Closely Examined.
But the Man of Affairs Was Outwitted.
4 PROSPEROUS man of affairs who has
his offices in a down town skyscraping
structure entered the building the 9th
er day with a disturbed look on his
face. Although IL man with full conf
dence in himself and one whose judg-
ment was considered second TO no Il
else's III the street, he was extremely
doubtful of the result OF the task before
him. He was in trouble because his
office boy had left him and he was
forced to engage another. The boy who
had gone had been a pretty good II as
boys go. He had bossed the boss and
run the office for about a year and was
all right when he had his own way,
but one unfortunate afternoon he told
the boss that he wanted to get off, as
his brother-in-law had died and he de-
sired to &C to the funeral.
II want to go to the ball game my
SELF" said the ''old man," chuckling,
as he recalled how many times that old
funeral excuse had been sprung on him
by Office boys, 80 l guess, James, you
will have to mind shop today"
James didn't appear at the Office next
morning, but an irate woman who said
she was his mother did, and she sound
~ berated the employer for his inhu-
mainly in keeping James away from his
brother-in-law's funeral.
The boss tried to explain matters by
saying that he thought James only
wanted an excuse to go to the ball game
and that he did not know there had
been a death in the family, but it was
no good. The whole family branded the
old man as a brute Of the deepest dye,
and James did not return to his duties.
In consequence CT this the employer
inserted an advertisement in one Of the
newspapers for an office boy, and he had
got down to the Office half an hour
earlier than usual to receive the appli-
cants for the place.
There was a long line of them in the
hallway in front of his Office, and he
heard much criticism, some favorable
and some otherwise, on his general APP
pearance as he pushed his way through
the throng. He called the boys into his
office one by III and subjected each OF
them to il searching examination as tC
his experience, fitness, etc. He invaria-
bly, finished up with the question, "DC
you smoke cigarettes:" The boys as in.
yariably declared that they did not.
Never smoked one O Their dope
sticks in me llfe,'' declared the first hoy
called into the Office.
Didn't, eh:" replied the "old man.
Let me see your fingers" The young
ster's fingers We're stained a deep dirt,
yellow color. and be was told he wa!
not wanted.
Oats not cigarute stain, dat amt, ;
insisted the second boy called into tn,
Office. Oats paint off me fader'1
house"
The excuse wouldn't work, however
and he was ushered out, as were severa
more young a%spirants for Office honors
Finally a bright eyed, redheadee
youngster entered the office and answer
ed all the questions propounded to hin
in a satisfactory way.
"Now, my boy" came the final test
"tell me truthfully, do you smoke Gig
arettes:'
whats them? Those little paper ci
gars:" answered the youth.
Yes, exactly
Nope. Never drew one If them il
ter NE lungs i'll re life," continued tn
boy. -.
Let he Sec your hands"
The boy poked out a chubby fist q
him. The man examined it critically
but failed to detect the slightest CIV
dence of tobacco stain.
You're engaged" he finally said.
Bully fer you!" replied the you'll
$50 long. IN be ter work in de morl
ing" He then went out, whistlin
"There's Only One Girl In the Worl
For Me-" and joined his anxious con
rades in the hallway.
"Youse fellers can all go home" /
said.
whats yer given us? Did yer g
der job:" piped half a dozen voices.
"Bet yer life" replied the urchin.
There was a loud murmur Of surpri
from the crowd, and finally one Of tt
youngsters exclaimed:
How'd yer do it, CHIMNEY? De O
man said dat he didn't want no do,
stick smokers, ar yer knows yer was
wursest dope fiend in der push"
"Oh, youse fellers was SO slow d
yer make me tired" replied Chimm
in q disguised tone Of voice. ''Course