Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-11-18
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loves hIm.-Somerville Journal.
she-"what is meant by going from
bad to worseY" He-"Gettipg mar.
ried a second e."-Cleveland Leader.
She-"The Sanfords contemplate TAX
ing trip to Europe. wish we could
afford to do It," He-"Why. there's
nothing cheaper than contemplation"
Puck.
Watts-"Getting little rest out your
way since the piano girl took to the
wheel, aren't you" POtts-"Naw.
Her bicycle suit is louder than the
piano was"-Indianapolls Journal.
Fuddy-"I understand that Wigley
spends most Of his evenings here at
your houseY Duddy-"I had an i'm
preston that 1t was my evenings that
he spends re."-Boston Transcript.
The Judge-"Didn't tell you the last
time that you were here that wanted
to see your face in this court no moreT
Weary Watkins-"Youo did, yeronner,
and that is exactly wot Isto.e the cop"
There's the bicycle face and the bicycle
+, back, or aE n q.Ys i.l.
With its queer, altitudinous curve;
And the bicycle tongue, in the middle
hung,
And the scorcher's bicycle nerve.
Queensland Wheel. t4s ye4,
Customer-"Do you guarantee these
porous plasters to be good for n weak
back" Druggist-"Yes, sir; they are
good for a week back-and for month
to come after you put them on."-Judge.
A Remarkable Woman.-Mr. McCor-
kle-"My wife has better memory
than any other woman l know Mr..
-"Indeed?" Mr.. McCorkle
Eyes; she always remembers what's
trumps. Judge.
81 told her l was afraid to kiss her
while we were on the tandem for fear
we would both fall Off" what did le
say" "She said she hoped l didn't
call myself an experienced wheelman."
Chicago Record.
Fuddy-"They say you have liking
for Miss Spontel." buddy Nonsense!
The woman is insupportable." Fuddy
That's just 1t. You won't have to
support her. She's got enough for
two."-Boston Transcript. y.
Gent (solicitously)-"Sir, 1 have here
some indestructible pieplates." Mr..
Hall Bedroome (grimiy)-"Well, you
have come to the right house to sell
them. That's the sort of pies Mrs.
Skinner gives us."-Puck.
II understand their engagement has
been broken" Eyes. She says she was
deceived. He had only six century runs
to his credit instead of sixteen, and as
she had fourteen herself, he was clear
ly out Of her class."-ChicagO Post.
Advice from the Heart.-Barrow-
That's dandy wheel you have there,
old man. I'll take little spin on IT
some day. BY the way, what kind of a
wheel do you think l ought to ride"
Marrow-"One of your own."-Brook-
Ign Life.
"Seven dollars for room and break
fast? Great Scott! man, that is awful
ly steep. And awfully high" said the
victim. EYES," admitted the summer
landlord, ''it is so high and steep that
l don't see how can come down."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
A Game Law in Itself.-Gobang-"
think I'll do quite little shooting this
summer. wonder what the close sea-
son is?" Buckshot-"Well, in your
case, old man, / fancy If you applied to
the Legislature, they'd throw the whole
year open to you."-Truth.
''He is an awfully wise young man,
to have seen no more than twenty
three summers" HE may have seen
but twenty-three summers, but the
number of summer girls he has met
runs up to the hundreds. "-Indianapolis
Journal.
Its surprising how impractical some
very learned men are" Yes, there's
Prof. Lingwist, for example. He spent
over half his life in acquiring fiuency
in nine or ten different languages and
then went and married n wife who
never gives him q chance to get word
in edgeways. Truth.
Il happened to remark little while
ago, in the presence of Hiss Billmore,
that some persons carried their fond
ness for cycling to extreme lengths. I'd
like to know what there was in that OBJ
scranton to cause her to turn red and
say, SIR" Great Scott! Don't you
know? She is engaged to n young BIZ
cyclist nearly six and half feet high"
Chicago Tribune.
A man had been up for cn examina-
ton in scripture. had failed utterly and
the relations between him and the ex-
aminer had become somewhat strained.
The latter asked him IL there were any
text in the whole Bible he could quote.
He pondered and then repeated: And
Judas went out and hanged himself"
"Is there any other verse you know In
the BibleT the examiner asked. "Yes.
Go thou and do likewise" There was
n solemn pause and the proceedings
acknowledgements.
A gentleman had left his corner seat
in an already crowded railway car to
go in search of something to eat. leay-
ing n rug to reserve his seat. On re-
turning he found that, In spite of the
rug and the protests of his fellow mas.
sengers, the seat had been usurped by
one in q lady's garments. To his pro-
testations her lofty reply was: do you
know, sir, that am one Of the direc-
tors wiyes?" MADAM bo ran,,o<,