Pleasantville weekly press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1890-1911, 1897-06-23
URIAH AND BERIAH.
The Duckfarmer and the Hen
farmer are Twin Brothers in
Husbandry-They set their faces
towards Washington.


Husbandry-They set their faces
towards Washington.
Riverside on the Nacut,
Glen Dell Cove.
Port Republic June IL.
Editor the PRESS
Coincidence and chance are two OF the
most fascinating words in the English
launage. Lovers always meet by chance
and there never yet was written a novel
but that the first meeting of the princi-
pal characters was a co-incidence-there-
by hangs the tale-always. The meeting
OF Lincoln and Douglas was a co-inci-
dence, and while they fought one of the
most unique and interesting political
battles, they became ''fast" friends and
engendlered an everlasting friendship.
Lovers who meet by chance or co-inci-
dence become fast friends-i. e. hitch
ed together by the nuptial knot. The
brightest spots in the characters of all
great men are the condolences. So 1
trust it may be with Brother Beriah
Henfarmer and |, when we have COM
pleted our National regulations. We
met by chance, and our occupations are
co-incidents. While our tastes differ,
we are friends not ''fast" as yet, only
partially SO. l am "fast"-he is a
bachelor and still holds his heart intact.
bitterly regret that | misrepresented
Brother Beriah. called him an 'ama-
tuer." 1t was case of mistaken
identity. | believe him when he says II
have no taste or attachment" but /
regret that being a fact. If he has no
taste" | trust he enjoys the sense of
smell end hearing. If he has no cat
tachment," | cannot see how he can re-
sist the temptation, with SO many win
some girls fitting past on their bikes
around "Leedses Pint" If he were here
in Port where the famous butter-miIk
milk-girls promenade on the Riverside
Esplanade with breath SO sweet as the
magnolia in yonder lowland, with COM
plexlous as pure as the water lilies that
bloom in the Nacut, with forms divine
and perfect as Venus, 1.-THE as willow
and with eyes that melt the hearts of
men, unless they be as tough as a gan
ders' gizzard, know he would wilt.
Come over to the Duckfarm, Bro. Hen
farmer, and we guarantee to you an
attachment divine.
For the blisters, l would recommend
mustard, made into plasters, In re-
ference to "callouses" must confess my
igorance. l not know then, unless it
be what they call "hen-louses. How
ever an exchange of opinion is beneficial
We can learn from each other, and [
would be pleased to welcome Bro.
Beriah as professional into the Gran
gers Society. | will teach him and L
know about the propagation of ducks,
beans, turnips and apple "sass" if he
will give lecture before the society on
the culture of hen fruit, peas and cock
tails. Cat tails grow abundantly down
along the creek shore, but l should be
glad to know how to grow cock tails
how reminiscent it would be to take a
cock tail before breakfast as in the good
old days of yorc.
While we are pursuing our occupations
professionally in the bitter struggle for
the means of existence l still have as
piratlOns for the future. | am remember
ing the high pinacles upon which we
stood in the past. Let us take hope for
the future. live tumbled off-If YOU
stepped from the school teachers
rosJrum into henrOost, if l tumbled
from newspaper sanctum into duck
pond-let us be not discouraged. Let's
set our faces towards Washington and
keep our eyes on the halls of Congress.
Once there, we can speculate in stocks
and then dodge behind the dusty dra-
perry OF the Dignity of the Senate" We
can secure Chinese puzzle, offer it as q
sugar amendment, and with our voea-
bulary and with our oratory, eloquence
and clarion voice "make the welkin
ring" as old Demosthenes did when he
whooped 'er up in the streets of ancient
Athens.
How our eloquence would vibrate
down the Potomac, which wave would
catch aud toss to wave and tell to
fartherest shore, America has two Glad
stones. We could wink at suffering Cuba
an have Brig9ntine and Dog Island
annexed to the United States and our
names would go down the ages as i'm
mortal. statesman. Ahl Bro. Beriab, we
would make dandy OK and mule team.
The only trouble is the people don't
know our ability. / am full of beans
and good cheer. Some people are begin
ming to lie about me. That is a sure
harbinger of greatness. Never mind the
serpentine rows When the sun crosses
the line they will warp back into shape
again. Keep at 1t and remember that
hereafter Uriah and Beriah shall be twin
brothers as patrons of husbandry. Here
is my b1r Uriah Duckfarmer.