The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1897-02-26
HINTS TO HUSBANDS.
What the Modern Wife REQUIRES

HoNc pSSh III service dS d. nuSpdHu
for some years; and as my wife keeps
much company and, with magnani-
nous laxity, has allowed me freely in
her draWing-rooms, / have had eXcep-
tional opportunities for rejecting on the
probable causes of failure or success in
married life. l am of the opinion that
a great deal of conjugal distress would
be avoided if women, from time to time,
would issue fashion, books of the latest
tastes in husbands, SO that well-mean-
ing bachelors should have chance of
discovering before it is too late some
ideas of what will be expected of them
after marriage.
Man himself has changed so little in
his social habits since history began
that it is not surprising that he should
exhibit an almost monotonous uniform
ity in his demands on the other sex.
He still, as he has always done, adj
mires one sort Of woman and marries
another; While his ideal-which is a
Utopian mixture of the two-would be
found to bear strange resemblance to
that which Adam framed, while still in
innocence, OF Eve. But with women
well, history, even Bible history, should
not be consulted as a guide to feminine
tastes in what might be termed "matri
monies" Their matrimonial ideas are
always changing, and their eXactions
vary in a sort Of inverse ratio to the
extent of their own social require
ments. Let me relate an experience
which was the beginning of my subse-
quent eonjugal researches,
1t had CHANGED that one day mag
ined I heard the voice of genius calling
to me. I would be famous. but yet /
lacked the sacred fire of inspiration
which would urge me to great deeds.
Even a study of modern fiction and OF
the lives of living men of renoWn failed
to supply me with the secret spring to
noble action. was in despair; but,
reading my way steadily backward
worn out, at the medieval tales of
chivalry and romance; when, like a
sudden flash of light, the thought
came over me that in those days OF
heroes and self-sacrifising deeds. Wo-
man had been the source of inspiration,
the guiding light to man! Womans
bright eyes $50 read with some aston
ishment) had urged, a woman's soft
hands compelled, to deeds Of greatness
and renown. At last; then, revelation
had come to me! 1t was woman-wo-
man alone who was wanting for my fu-
ture fame and happiness
l arose in feverish haste from my dis
covery; 7 sought found and subse-
quently wandered with my Inspiring
goddess for month in the Swiss val
leys, dreaming of the great literary
work which was to make my name re-
sound from one end of Europe to the
other. The presence of my 'inspira-
ton" worked, as 7 had anticipated, mir
acles upon me. There was no need for
words-this, indeed, afterward regret
ted, as it might have saved me suffer-
ing. Castalias eyes alone were suffi-
cient to incite my nature to creative ac-
tion her touch to compel to noble re-
alization. My conceptions and my re-
solve were magnificent; and it was with
scant patience that waited for the mo-
ment when, in the solitude of my own
snug study, my pen should start me on
| the certain road to fame.
4
incoming done, awpke to the envelop-
| ing fog of my suburban Parnassus.
Barely, I remember, could tolerate the
sordid delays Of breakfast; my soul was
| fluttering on wings and yearning for its
fight. But at last at last, the moment
of my life-of our lives--as ! told Cas-
Italia, was come, and / must for a few
hours forego the pleasure of her COM
pany to seclude myself while tran
scribed the thoughts, the creations
which,. And did she not, it may be
asked, implant upon your brow the kiss
of inspiration and send you with her
blessing to your work? Alas, that
must answer emphatically, No! She
grew, on the contrary, crimson in the
| face with anger and disappointment
and asked in tones of injured wifehood
| Who, then, was to pump out her hind
wheel, and who was to carry her bicy-
Gle down the steps?
1t was a critical moment. For few
seconds l was, perhaps fortunately
speechless. I then sat down opposite
my wife, and did-what should possibly
have been done before, instead of after
marriage. I asked her to explain to me
something of the ways of women, ano
of what, in the majority of cases, were
the requirements of wives from nus
bands? ! learned then first that 1T nae
long ceased to be a matter of ambition
with a woman that her husband Shoulc
possess intellect or distinction; these
qualities were a hindrance rather thar
otherwise in the path of an intending
husband. You see," my wife eX-
planned in the phraseology which sht
assured me was then politely current
there is now a slump in geniuses, he
roes and persons of renown-as nus
bands, Geniuses,'' she said. ARE help
less cyclists; and, what with public, so
cial and athletic duties, a woman's Lift
is now so fully occupied she really ha:
no time to daily round the selfish ca
prices of a dyspeptic. Then, with he
ROSWELL, there's always the chance o
their being sent to prison, or being los
in Polar seas or somewhere, and it Il
awkward to be deprived of ones onl!
husband in this sort of way; while, a
for persons of real renoWn, such a!
cricketers, or successful novel writers
why of course we can get that sort o
fame for ourselves now, and that is ia
more interesting"
At this point L interrupted her to in
quire, not without anxiety, what nigh
have been her reasons for accepting me