davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
The Little Plum.

with apologies to Eugene Fields lit
tie Peach.'D
little plum in the orchard grew,
plum of war department hue.
Warmed by the sun and wet by the dew,
1t grew.
One day walking the orchard through
That little plum dawned on the view
OF Russy Alger, soldier true,
r True blae.
Up at the plum a club he threw.
Down from the limb on which ii grew
Fell the little plum of warlike hue.
Too true.
Russ took bite and began to chew,
And then the trouble began to brew.
For the people yelled: 1T will never do
For you'll"
The major heard the bowls of the crew,
That turned the air all black and blue,
And TO the scene of the hullaballoo
He flew.
But Russ had swallowed the plum from
view,
The little plum of the warlike hue.
And the major didn't know what to do,
Felt blue.
That plum that in the orchard grew
In Russ stomach raised Kalamazoo,
And gave the people the collie too.
Boo hooi
Perhaps an emetic tried and true
May seek for the plum of warlike hue
And bring it forth again p. d. q.
To view.
Detroit Post.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
How the Home Was Wrecked.

Chicago Evening Post: The fair young
thing had only been married short
time. and she was in tears when she
sought the home OF her parents again.
It's all over she told her mother.
Harold and l have separated forever
"Oh, guess it's not so bad as all
that"
Yes. it is asserted the fair young
thing. Il guess 1 know. 1t was all be-
cause of little question of economy
too"
Economy
Yes. We both agreed that economy
was necessary, and we were just as nice
and generous to each other as possible.
until-until-"
She burst into tears. and for long
time refused TO be comforted.
Until what2" inquirer her mother as
soon as there was an opportunity
Until 1t came to the question as to
whose bicycle was to be sold, for We
We're unanimous in the opinion that we
could only afford TO keep one
Then the mother realized that the breach
was indeed a serious one.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
PRACTICAL EXAMINATION.
Quaint Information Gathered From
Would-be Policemen in New York.

Quaint Information Gathered From
Would-be Policemen in New York.
Police Commissioner Roosevelt of
New York, replying to criticisms of the
civil service examinations of candidates
for the police department, gives the fol-
lowing examples of the replies of men
who failed to pass:
One question we asked was to name
five of the states that seeded from the
Union in 1861. One answer was New
York. Albany, Pennsylvania, Philadel-
mia and Delaware" Another question
was, :. Name five of the New England
states" One answer to this question
was England, Ireland. Scotland,
Wales and Cork. Another answer
was: London, Africa and New En-
gland" Another question was: In
what state and on what body of water
is Chicago?" One competitor an
swered: New York state, on the At
lantic ocean," and another. California,
on the Pacific ocean," Another ques-
ton was to name five of the states
bordering on the Great Lakes, TO which
one competitor answered: New Jer-
sew. Georgia. Florida and Alabama"
Another question was: Name TOUR OF
the executive departments OF TINS gov
eminent" Among the answers was
one of two words: "Exzetly commute
Another question was: Upon what
written instrument is the government
of the United States founded? The
conclusion one bright competitor
reached was expressed in the brief
word Paper Yet another question
was: Into what three branches is the
government of the United States di-
vided?" Rather a common answer to
this during the heat of the last cam
paign was: Democrats, Republicans
and Populists." Another question on
this line recently asked was: What
is the highest branch of the judiciary
department of the United States?
This drew out a fine crop of replies.
which included: '.Fiar department,
Sir Pream Court" "Seniter,' "Exzegi-
tive" General secession The post
master and THE juryman." Yet an
other question was: why were July
and Feb. % made legal holidays"
One answer read: THE day of George
Washingtons landing and crossing the
Delaware;" another, ON them days
the country was freed" another, THE
president takes his seat and yet an
other, "Julu Forth was the end of the
ware" Another question was: In
case of the absence or disability of the
mayor. who would perform his duties2"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
A SONG FOR SPRING.

Q, February, bring the buds,
And bring the quickening sap to pass
And wake in pasture lands and woods
The breath of the new grass.
For now that January's done,
We send our heavy hearts before,
To days of honey dew and sun,
And roses at the door.
o leaden skies and leaden air
And sunless city, sad and sick,
My heart is caught a prisoner
In leagues of stone and rock.
Not such the winters that l knew,
With snow unsullied stretching on,
And robin in the gold and blue
Trilling his lauds and none.
And when the early sunset fell
The mountains took a scarlet glow,
Was all the world a miracle
OF roses on the snow.
o. February, bring the spring.
o bid the half-dead heart be quick,
When country airs come wandering
Through leagues of stone and brick,
Pail Mall Gazette.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
TALES OF THE DAY.
The Butcher and the Bride.

Chicago News: Diplomacy is not con-
fined to politics by any means. There
are many diplomatists in the humber
walks of life; private citizens who by the
exercise OF little tact. are entitled to
climb steadily upward.
A notable example of this class of cit
liens IS butcher who carries on a
fiourishing business in one of the numer-
Gus suburbs of the city. No matter what
his customers want he has it ready for
them and many of them trust him i'm
plicitly in the selection of all their meat
Several days ago new customer en-
tered the store and tirnidly asked for a
steak. From her manner it was evident
she was a bride, for she blushed deeply
when she stated she wanted a steak Just
large enough for two.
The diplomatist smiled broadly as he
laid a rather scrawny-looking piece of
meat on the counter and asked briskly:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
A SONG OF BATTLES.

OF fighting stock it is I come,
On many field my forbears fell:
The funeral march, the muffied drum
Sounded my fathers knell
Where steel could do or valor dare
The past beheld my forbears there.
OF fighting stock it is 1 come
A soldiers's blood runs in my veins;
What though mounts up misfortune S
sum,
My heart fresh courage gains.
In sorrows heaviest odds. / still do fight.
The Spectator.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

That's about what you want. isn't it?
Its built for two. you know"
The bride blushed still more wildly,
as she replied:
Il hardly know. Has it been hung up
long?'
Not half an hour" was the prompt
answer. as the butcher deftly pared of
the rancid fat.
I'm afraid il won't do then. because
my cook book says that the meat must
be. ripe" gently murmured the young
lady.
For moment the butcher was at a loss
for reply. then gathering himself to-
gether returned. as he threw the meat
on the scales and caught il up before
the proper weight was ascertained;
book meant that the cow should have at
tanned ripe age. Twenty-Five cents,
please"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

THE HERALD in a franchise MEM
hes OF The United Press, and re-
cefves the complete leased wire
Overland and Pacific Coast news re-
ports of The United Associated Press
cs, embracing accurate intelligence
Of I'll current events in the whole
world. with its special wire ana
operator fn it's own ONCE THE HEIR
AID II daily in immediate possess
sion OF the latest news mp tiII the
hoUr Of SoinE to preAE.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
COMPARED TO HEINE.

Here are three stanzas written b
Robert Louis Stevenson, which have bee
compare TO Heine':
The infinite shining heavens
Rose, and l saw in the night
Unaccountable angel stars
Showering sorrow and light
l saw them distant as heaven.
Dumb and shining and dead.
And the idle stars of the night
Were dearer TO me than bread.
Night after night in my sorrow
The stars stood over the sea,
Till To- l stood in the dusk
And a star had come down to me.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

A wrong is done Russell Sage when
it is said he loaned his brother $50 and
took a mortgage upon his home to
secure the loan. He did nothing OF the
kind. He loaned the $50 TO a nephew
srd took a mortgage on his home. It
should not be forgotten that Sage is a
phsIanthrcpist.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

One man, evidently puzzled by the
spelling. simply wrote MAR" Another.
with def fiattery, names President
Roosevelt, while the opinions of others
varied from "Board of encumbrances"
TO ANY police captain he wants to-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

1.-THE Inauguration parade will be
worthy a modern conQueror," says an
exchange. And the modern conqueror
believes that to the victors belong the
spoils
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

The Inauguration will be triumph Of
pageantry." says the Chicago Inter
ocean. The country had been led to
think that it would be a triumph of
prosperity. It seems the country was
rnislad.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

1t seems that Steinitz is not dead
after all. When he fully RECEIVERS he
can read all the obituaries written or
him: and he won't ind anything bad
about himself in them, either
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Nothing so forcibly shows the
amount of restitution in Chicago as
the large number of men willing to
work for So week as aldermen" says
the Chicago Chronicle. Probably the
exclamation is that the poor are
,,,essea. especially when they get into
the alder1nanic Office.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

The quarters where Corbett is train
ing at Cooks ranch are humble enough
to permit him to aspire to the presi-
dency some day. They are quite equal
20 a log cabin.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Mrs. Mckinley will not step into Mrs.
CIevsland's old shoes on inauguration
day. She viii wear pair made ex-
pressly for her, in Beloit, Wis.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

Cincinnati Enquirer: Willis-I wonder
of Booze got home all right? You saw
him later than / did.
Wallace don't know. The last l saw
of him he was trying to light his cigar
at the reflection of an incandescent light
in a mirror.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Of course Major Mckinley is all right
on the money question now. but as the
Lorsemen say, he is a converted PAGER.
Such an one was Smuggler.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

If there were a national inheritance
law, how much would the tax on the
deficit that Cleveland win leave Nc
Kinley amount to?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

If Ex-Governor Long takes his Strad-
ivarius to Washington no one need
be surprised to hear of him drawing
the long bow over its tone.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

1t seems that the Mckinley electors
regard themselves as the Big Three
when it comes to distributing federal
patronage in Utah.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

The Chicago Herald calls the
jingoes in the senate the bowling der
wishes" Ursine howlers would be more
appropriate.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Does Hugh Cannon want to make the
resurrection day legal holiday in the
interest of John ]. ingalls,? john would
be glad to be resurrected.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

The Bible the Afro-American Meth
odists will present President-elect Nc
Kinley is not printed in black letter
as might be supposed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

A young man in Lowell, Mass,
troubled for years with a constant sue
cession of boils on his neck. was COM
pletelv cured by taking only three
bottles of Ayers Sarsaparilla. Another
result Of the treatment was greatly
improved digestion with increased
avoirdupoiS.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

When Mrs. Cleveland leaves the White
House she will carry with her the re-
spect and regard of every American
citizen
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

That story of a volcano in Great Salt
Lake would sound very fishy if there
were any fish in the lake.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

The powers have begun to send ulti-
matums TO Greece. This shows that
Greece is all right.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Die Fliegende Batter: Little Peter Ito
his preceptor)-"Mamma sends her COM
pliments, and my sisters have had the
measles and little brother has them yet,
and-and-if / don't come to school Mon
day, I've got EN-, too.''
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

How natural it sounds to hear about
being on the frontier. even though il
be the Greek frontier.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Governor Pingree is preparing to put
in his potatoes. Already he is turning
the ground over in his mind.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Commissioners woollev and Lund
have discovered the original, genuine
Arizona kicker.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

From resembling Lincoln, Shelby M
Cullom has come to look like The
Last Leap"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

March didn't come in either as lion
or a lamb. but as something in the ma
ture of a half-breed.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

FOR of all said words Of tongue or pen.
The saddest are these: 1T might have
been" a boy.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Ofce-seekers distinguish between
the grip and the cinch-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Cleveland Plain Dealer: Coin to
Wash n'ton, Weary?"
yep, I'm goin' on the majors car"
Got yer section engaged?"
mo; all 1 need is a lower berth-on
the trucks
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Philadelphia Record: Wigwag-"Why
do you drink so? Don't you know that
strong drink is the enemy of mankind?''
De Tanque-'Yes; and doesn't the Bible
tell US we should love our enemies?'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Chicago Record: 'They say Boston
children enjoy Wagner music very much. -
''Of course, poor little creatures; you
know they never get to make any
racket themselves.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
- -<@D----
Bucklcn's Arnfca snIve.

The best salve n the world for cuts,
sores. letter. chapped hands. chilblains.
bruises, sores. ulcers. salt rheum, fever
corns and all sEin eruptions. and posi-
tiveiy cures pies or no pay required
It Is guaranteed to give perfect satisfac-
ton or money refunded. Prios % cents
per box For sale by q. c. Il. Z drug
dept
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Odds and Ends: 'Esmeralda," said he,
hoarsely. I'm waiting for your answer.
"Oh, forgive me. Tom. | was thinking.
What were you thinking Off?
II was thinking how | would have my
wedding dress made, dear"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Police commissioners are not I'M
qualified successes even away from
Salt Lake City. New York City is
having an experience with them and
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

New York Journal: There is much to
| be said for Secretary OF War Lamont
He Is not the possessor of a war record
that is compelled to spenu three-fourths
o. its time in the repair shop.
st. Louis Globe-Democrat: With the
Flanagan what are we here for?"
brothers headed for Washington in the
interests of Texas office seekers, MIR. Nc
Kinley may be considered the oracle who
VIII at last definitely answer the most
famous of American political conun-
drums.
Atchison Globe: A week ago it looked
as If the Kansas legislature would oper-
ate on the railroads but after hearing
their plea for life, it will let them OH
with tonic to be prescribed py the state
board of railroad commissioners. Even
the Kansas legislature knows there is
danger in the knife.
Chicago Times-Herald: Sam Jones
wants Boston to pay him 81, 600 for fight
ing the devil a month in that town.
Well, in these days of advanced sporting
ideas Boston can't logically expect to pull
of big fight between two well known
principals without hanging up a big
purse.
Cincinnati Enquirer: After the 4th of
March there will be in the senate man
who can communicate the wishes and
desires of the president of the United
oldieS 10 lldl august DOuy without TAX
inE the time to traverse mile and a
half and back, or without even using
the telephone.
Courier-Journal: Secretary Olney may
possibly not coincide with General Lee
in his views as to the exact steps neces-
sary to be taken with the Spanish au-
thorities. but ii is absurd to accuse him
of being pusillanimouS or un-American.
That is not characteristic of Plymouth
Rock. Besides. we rather guess that
secretary OF state who has not hesitated
TO beard the British lion In his den is not
going to stand on ceremony with sick
wolf like Spain when he thinks the time
is ripe for action.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Chandler is still in the vigor Of his
jingcism.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Indianapolis Journal: Too Much to
Ask-He-"The Bible says We shall for
give our enemies, you know"
She-"But. thank goodness. it does not
insist that we shall forgive our friends"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

DR.. Parkhurst's nerves have gone
wrong. They are simply following his
head.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Puck: Nan, did that editor return your
manuscript"
''Yes-the mean old thing Why. /
poured whole ounce of the best violet
extract on that storyi"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

New York Evening World: ELIZA Jane
goes in for being a new woman, doesn't
she?"
well. rather; her cards read Miss E.
Jane Brown.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Indianapolis Journal: "Oh. how can you
drink so much?" asked the earnest
worker.
1T s'prises me sometimes said the
hopeless case. It's jist luck, 1 guess
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Philadelphia North American: Captain
(of American warship)-Head her for
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

1.-THE Deserted village"-canton-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

New York Journal: There is much to
be said for Secretary OF War Lamont
He is not the possessor of a war record
that is compelled to spenu three-fourths
o. its time in the repair shop.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-02

Navigator-Aye, aye. sir,
Captain-I fear something is wrong.
We've been out four days now without
an accident
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1897-03-23
SeimfeBr unb nrucs 2clen.

Is luaren ibOne. 9liifli6e Sage.
mel6e Die gSiroeruereinten in Drag err
lebtsn-ein neue5 Gebeu. Die gDunoe
gValoemars mar Dcrnarbt, uno IS Sol
i'm mdAtiQ Snriif III Die Seimatb. in
oO5 S6IOB ieiner Batter, 5uriid aui
ben plaB wclden er perSpciislno.
tlelnNldubi0 UerIaNen bate. Nbsr 10
OFT er feline Sebniu6t uno iein Gerlans
gen aud uusiprah, INNER UlBte i'm
SiloeQaro init iiIBen. iAmeihlerii6sn
Wprten 81 lan0en Gno III benz Snuie
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1897-03-23

be. - Define Stisiel
trahen aber furdtbar; limb wobl nod
nibt beSabltf" = .uuiinn. oa miiBte
ia meiu sanssr @uSug trabsn!"
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1897-03-23
Bringt

Das ist gerade die Wahrheit in Betreff Won
Hoods Sarsaparilla. Wiz wissen dass es YER
dienst besitzt we'll es. kurirt, nicht Elm oder
zweimal oder hundert Nal, sondern in tausend
und abertausend Fallen.
Wiz wissen dass es unbedingt, dauernd kurirt,
nachdem allies Andere yollkommen gefehlt hat
Wiz wiederholen
Luxemburger gazette. [volume] (Dubuque, Iowa) 1871-1918, 1897-03-23
verdienSt

bringt ind Verdienst erhalt das Vertrauen der
Ieute in Hoods S~arsaparilla. Wenn cine Mketi-
Yin Won elmer krankheit kurirt; wenn sic
uberall wundervolle Kuren macht, damn
besitzt jene Medizin unbedingt Verdienst
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1897-02-20
DAEvILLR LETTER

The beautiful weather and the
bright shining sun made Sunday . fine
day for church goers and the many
churches had immense crowds to their
several services, the Lords Supper be-
ing administered at { avalry Baptist
and Loyal st. Rev Hall since his
election TO the passionate Of High St.
church has been drawing very large
crowds TO hear his sermons Asan evil
dence of same many OF the floating
members of the church who had ceased
to visit while under the charge OF Rev.
Barksdale can be seen passing to and
fro in their rounds to services. Rev
Goude preached an able and eloquent
sermon Sunday night Of which the
Danville daily Register spoke in the
highest terms.
Mr.. VIM. E. Boisseau,i collector o
| internal revenue for the city OF Dan
vile, died at his home on Grove stree
Monday morning Mr.. Boisseau was al
able representative of manly courag
and great force of mind. He wa
known as q man Of much executive
ability and. business tact. His sue
eessor cannot be easily found and hi
death is the sincere regret of his man
friends and admirers white and eolored
His deeds of kinkpess TO the coloee'
people in business capacities serve
only as pediments in the way of hi
financial success
Miss Mary Colson, sister of Mrs Me-
VIVA West nee Oolson il in the city o
a visit. We learn that she il canvass
ing q book which she wishes to de
sDOse Of in this oonmunity,
The Choir Recital and Valentin