The age-herald., 1897-10-24
SlNkERS BETS ON ELECTION.
Sure to Pick Winner, Though There Are Cheaper Ways of Getting Rich.
From the New York Sun.

From the New York Sun.
 Hello Reillyr' shouted the Slnker Man when Sarsaparilla entered the It. tie restaurant. You know I am so de- lighted to think dot I'm out of der citi- z5ns' Onion dot I'm pleased to enjoy- ment."
 Well" said Reilly, you ought to be. But Oi see tn Sauerkrauts have joined the On-on, an so has tn Ridderbunds. Oi suppose lis' next thing we'll hear will be Paddy Glsason indorsed by tn in- depend mt Fral,kfurters av Pickleville. Thatll be case av pickled corned beef and eisbbdges.1
 And vill George Henry be plclled. too?" asked S.nkers
 piled Rsilly
 Den lose on him five dollar" said the Sinker Man, "Cause had bet on him; what about Seth Tracy?"
 T don know" answered Reilly: "hets got me guessin'. Yer see, I'm for tn Tammany ticket-th' one with Wines-it.s got two, birds on it, an th=y'll go in fly
 "Oh yes, but dey only want to feather deir nests" remarked sinkers. Pm li,en on to dot business, cause I'm fly, too. You know what I did"
 "What? asked Reilly.
 T bet on der hull bundle," answered the S-nker Man. q bat five dollar dot what's his name would be 'lected-Seth Tracy; und l bet on General Wan Wick. und bet on MT. Low, der Onion candi- date, und five dollar, too, on George Henry Dot were fly, wasn't it-I'm sure vinnsr no matter which is who"
 But you only win one bet out ay tn four said Reilly; yer lose fifteen dol lars and win foive. That makes yer fin, dollars out av pocket"
 "Ach myp' exclaimed Sinlxers; "how Ioollsh Tor po6r man to bet dot yay."
 You should have bet loike me said RSillV. "Oi hat Qprir1 a Low packer folve dollars that Low wouldn't get elected. Thin Oi made a bet ef foive wid George man that Hennery wouldn't get tn plum; thin Oi bet a osefsteak packer foive that Van Wyck wouldn't ba tn next Mayor, an Oi made similar bet agin' tn General. So Oi got twlnty dollars bet agin' tn four. only one av thim]l git there Thin .Oill win tn three other bets. Orll win $15 an lose foive. That'll make me tn dol lars ahead av tn game.
 How do you find dot way oudt to bet?" asked the Sinksr Man; its a smart man what invented dot scheme" Yes" said Reilly" q am smart man. Yer must niver begin ter build a chimney from tn top Always git at tn foundation frss. Thin tn chimney won't fall on yer for you're always working above tn bricks. But tell me, sinksrs, who advised yer ter bet dot way?" A man NIidt DeiO0SS 10 Qef George Henry party replied Sinkers, ''he told me should bet dot way an explana- toned how l would be sure winner He also told ma dot his parry believed every man should bs rich, und he prov ed dot Vanderbilt got too much money. man."
 Just loike tn bettin' advice" sad Reilly; tits a brass ball silver platsd that yer get for solid stuff. Now sup possf tn fellow that towld yer this stuff got a job to deal out tn weath equally. He'd call at your house an learn that Lena had $7O0 in tn bank, an he'd say that Mrs. Dooley, tn red-headed Irish woman downstairs had only tin clnts In tn house. Thin h=d ask Lena to send $55O of her money downstairs to Mrs. Dooley."
 q would kill myself before I let my wife give half her money away" said the Sinker Man; "und give it to dot red l. head wash lady-nev=r-never. Really. Reilly, I would drink alcohol first and kill myself"
 You mean carbolic acid" said Reilly; they all use that whin they do tn Dootch act"
 Der Dutch act? What is dot?"
 '"rhey call suicide tn Dootch act be- kase So minny Dootchm.n are crazy enough to kill themselves,v .xplained Reilly.
 Now you are commencin' again." sn.d Sinkers. Some mems suicide what are Irish, too."
 Z Irish stewr' excalimsd Reilly; Irish stew pizen? Oi want you to sop. now, or be h=avens there'll be trouble"
 well den I commenced it." said Sink ers; what's der use for fighting when we are friends tallkin' politics togedder? bet yer"
 ''Then you'll' lose said Reilly. "Coms and buy the beer now"