davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
CHOICE MoRsELs OF HUMoR.

"How comes it, sir, that when 1 ask you for
No. snoe you give me No. ""
"Why, my dear sir, you'll be so proud of
those shoes that your feet will swell. ''-Har-
per's Weekly.
The shipwrecked artist, sfioat on raft in
midocean, opened the grip to which he had
clung when the vessel went down, aud pro-
ceeded TO rig up an apparatus 10 catch the
wind.
"Therep' he exclaimed, as he contemplated
his task, "it can no longer be said that never
made sail OF my canvases. es."-Brooklyn Life.
Reporter-Are you making any headway in
this murder case?
Big Chief of Police-Certainly, young man !;
of course. l am prepared 10 say now, right
here, that this is one of the deepest mysteries
I've ever been called upon to handle.-Phila-
deIphia North American.
ayes" murmured the dialect poet az find
books in the running brooks"
''What pity 1t is" responded Miss Cayenne,
"that there aren't few speIlin g-booss among
them, washing ton Star.
"The rising young acter," said the Cum
minsyiue Sage, sis much like persimmon
He isn't really at his best until he has en-
countered two or three good, hard frosts''-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"of course" said one old farmer to the
other, "your boy is learnin' Latin and Greek
at college, but is he gettin' anything practi-
cal?"
"Oh, yes In the last letter he writ he te lis
me he is takin' lessons in fencin'."-Detroit
Free Press.
Yeast-rve just invested in one of those
salt-and-pepper suits.
Crimsonbeak Well, that sounds as if il
would be good for at least TWO seasons
Yonkers Statesm man.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
wEDDERBURN, HE HEARsTLINo

,rt,o 1ovrf,,I of the firm OF patent attorneys
known ss John " edderburn ana Jonh -
burn & Co, which was recently ahnouh0eu -,
washington was brought about in M ahher 'n"
s,,cestt The work of the maker of plots for gooo
stories rather than plain narrative ol l"OV"
some time ago Wedderburn caused the alieSI % VI
Young patent attorney named tranN N~ihO"-1 ~
a charge Of embeZzlement on heariuN 'H O.
rest was seen so clearly to be case OF sp''e =,
that the District Attorney OF NashlhsIoH, -, -
had the case dismissed. The preliminary he"i M,
how, ver brought out some testimony III sn.
WedGerburns methods that attracteu 'u0 -,
+ion of the Patent Office. Charges were A'''
hronqht against Wedderburn and his comp"hieo'
"a - ar a irtaI me, nave been diSbarred from
nractice befor. the United states Patent Olnce'
he proc edings establish the rule ina i pa p.+n
attorney must not only be competent ou' H0 r-a
aIso deai honestly with his clients. IL Is Gauss
Cor d{sbarment to lure them, by false anu hius''e
promises. into doing business with nlln Z all
liner.
varv few of the Examiners readers, no
dorhf hove the least idea that John "edder-
hurn learned his first rudiments Oh IN
ods' from that journal, but sucn Is .ne iaot'
and for old friendships sake, ana IN uue coh-
sideration of past favors ana services ien,
dered, a caustic comment on Mo w"
should have been lett 10 Others
few wears ago Wedderburn sauntered
west from Washington, D. c., and was given a
clerkship at the Mare Island Navy-yafo
throuch the influence OF the late senator
George Hearst, who then representee @ me
State of California in the upper house OF @ Coh-
gress. While ostcnsiby a Government clel n
ne was really, as subsequent events proved IL
the employ OF the Examiner as co[te-
spondent, and incidentally engageu o4 III t1le
endeavor to entrap the Government conlract0I
at Vallejo, James McCudden. Why ex-senator
JAMES McCudden should have been selecteu
mas always remained mystery, tor McCuG-
den represen ted Solano County IN the Legs
lature and was one OF the faithful VINO voteo
for Hearst for United States Senator. WeodeI
burn did his work well for, having peen aS
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23


Dusenis of
Ye oward
ewithn
I
bes her r
ma doctos
of
And
the
was born.
in
Is
o sim
what
he appu
o
she has been badly the Joy
MIRIAM MNUCHF
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
THIS WOULD | DO.

If were q rose,
This would do:
would lie upon the white neck of her love,
a nd let my life go out upon the fragrance
OF her breath.
II were o star
This would do:
I would look dee . down into her eyes
Into the eyes love, and learn there
How TO shine.
If 1 were truth strong the Eternal One,
This would do:
would live in he heart, in the heart
know so well. and
Be at home
If were sin,
This would do:
would fly far away, and though her soft hand
In pity were stretched out, L would not stay, bu
fly,
And cave her pure
Constance Runcie, from "a Little Book of Mis-
souri, Verse"
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

The allegation that perjury has been
keep murderer from the gaows where belongs
the guilty parties will strike every body
surprise is that their efforts cheat
lawyers have been known
seemed to the ayman decent that law
does not know anything is freely conceded
lights and that his right hold opinion been
established is point equally clear TO them. However
of perjury laudabe undertaking bunkong
justice Will successfully by lawyer caught
at
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
CALIFORNIA; OPPORTUNITY.
Marysville Appeal.

harysVAle Appeal.
The royal commission appointed to inyestf-
gate the condition and prospects of sugar pre-
duction in the British West Indies has made q
most discouraging report. 1t finds the labor
unreliable the superintendence unskIlfuI
ana the cultivation crude and extensive
Ih1s Will soon apply to Cuba as well. Now
comes our opportunity, We have the land
ana now all that is required is a pledge OF
acreage from the farmers sufficient 10 institv
the erection OF the necessary factories. With
market in five years. 0-Ne
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
NOTES ABOUT NOTABLES.

The first gold watch ever owned by Charles
Dickens is now in New YORK, and is the prop
erty of A. G. Milford.
Lord Rosebery is said to have bought the
late Count of Aquil.s's villa at Posilipo. near
Naples, and to intend to spend his winter
there with his children
Professor Hubert Herkomer, K. A, r. w. s.,
who is an American Will probably succeed the
late Sir John Gil bert as president of the
British Royal Society OF Painter in water
colors.
George Washington Stevens, who made the
greatest reputation as a correspondent in the
Greco-Iurkish war, is not quite % years old.
de is graduate OF Baliol College, Oxford.
Laurita S. Swenson, the new Minister to
Denmark, was born in Minnesota, to which
state his parents migrated from Norway in
1857. His father has been member of the
legislature. Minister Sweason studied at
Lutner college, Iowa, and Johns Hopkins
University.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

THE California Limited on the Santa Fe ror+a
will begin IT'S third annual season on Yonda,- 49,.
tober 25 The time of departure is 4.30p
from Mnrket-street ferry. Equipment consists of
standard Pullman sleepers buffet smokfng-car
and elegant dlnlng-car, managed by ME Fred
Harvey, ald will have all the modern con,for,s
making it the most luxurious service ever given
between California aud the East. Reseryattops
on this magnificent train made at 64a Mor,at
street, Chronicle building
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
A CONFESSION OF WEAKNESS
w ashington Star,

The Canadians, who do not propose to be
outvoted. act on the positive conviction that
in the international sc aing conferenc no
other nation could possibly be induced TO in
oorSe the fairness or the Soundness of the
British contention concerning the seals. The
Canadians ought to know, and doubtless their
confessed opinion concerning the weakness
ana untenabiiity OF the British claim is cor
rect
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

the literal absence of
that dour old ScotChwoman
for just take
tive question might she'd tell
that which one has which
that which is tangible Everything eehis
ideaistis 1t
world the
bank Mrs Van Dusen and keep handbook
cep mentally all have what
But even this is not absolutely if
Dusen For the
divides
unfortunate uapaid debt
a o
The old hniu
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
A DOMINATING REASON

ST. Louis Republic
Ex-Hawaiian Minister Thurs on failed 10 in.
clude in his reasons why Hawaii should he
annexed the dominating one that New Epg.
lana hoiderS OF the securities represeutfno
Hawaii's $3,0O0,0OO national indebtednars
want Uncle sam 10 ume that debt.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
cALIFoRNIANs IN WASHINGTON.

NEW YORK, Oct 22.-At the st. Denis-A.
E Pratt Mrs. NJ. Pierce. St Cloud-Mr. Guti-
ner. Belvedere-Dr. J. Koebig. Ashland
H. Miller. Netherland-Miss 1. w. Scott.
Hoffman-H. Summers. Sinclair-N. Welles.
Holland-W. A. Wlgmore.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

OOOfy
Isp a rfdeh
~ - ~N ~
got caf
haven any
woudn ride let the body walked
Van
said
stree the bay"
emanyli
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
AN OPEN DOOR FOR CHINESE.

JUDGE HANFORD United District Court has
just rendered Seattle decision which, opinion
of those vel fitted Judge, will open way for
ission to this country of Chinese boys girls
choose to commit perjury for the sake getting
In fact it probable that may they wish
for decision, if the of correct
door for all who willing they
family OF Chinese merchant living in United States
The effect of the decision is void the
orders the Treasury Department orbddng admission to
this country of persons claiming sons daughters or
applicant admission has certificate Chinese Gov
attesng the validity of requirement
such certificate about the only
of Chinese claiming of the
of merchants and that it way
open.
1t likely such decision will Secretary of
Treasury already advised States
Attorney the district the evil effects have and ar
rangements will undoubtedly appeal at once
The that Judge been enough give
decision however itself important fact and
the people will do well to take heed
The struggle the Chinese gain admission United
States going TO be continuous 1t will than
diminish with the years. and it evident always be
of influence in the United help them We
shall have fight against the Asac
ton We must be forever guard The proposed
horde of coolies this country
ford opens the for another. 1t is preach
Chinese crusade again and preach it strongly
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
A GLIMPSE AT THE INSIDE.

@HIEF OF POLICE LEES and Commissioner Cuns. have
had their little divergence one another witbont
rendering benefit eow-citizens The riff
between them has opened through which the
have been able catch glimpse inside of that
municipal life that needs policing The aperture has
wide n church well but it will do
Things be through that require and
further revelations made.
One OF the features the view of tho tow, sbo
by the rift the openness of it. According h
authorizes 1t is not wide open but all it is open little
o-utcieny wide in some places the way
arns man to walk in be taken in 1t appears that the
opening Increasing and there those suggest that be-
fore long it will be be nothing to pre-
vent 1t falling into itself and turning inside out.
Commissioner Guns has objections to this con-
dition OF affairs de denounces the of Police and
demns the detective department would have more
and activity the force He have it in San Fran
CISCO that the wayfang Moses safe even whe
light goes out He has undertaken movement in no.
lice circles ana has entered campaign education for
Inc purpose OF showing the people that
gambling burglary and crime of all kinds Chinese lot
teres to murder if there men on the de-
tective force and different Chief of Police.
Whatever view be taken the controversy itself
between he Two ofhcas question reality of the
evils it has brought to light The charges of
the many crimes that have been this city by
criminals who escaped vigilance of the notice and the
detectives 1t familiar story gambling games
side doors to saloons and lottery in the city,
is the duty OF the Chief OF Police to inquire into these
1t is the duty OF the detective force them out San
Francisco to be wide open be put into su
that the of will expose anvbing for which
either the Chief OF Police the Police Commissioner need
ashamed.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23


'front.'
mpo
dthenth
a SEN 10 the Hospital
dmer Wasn't
Van
o by the city yand
spend,s emier butte
an % gloato
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23


h of a
Hetty neither
the public comfort 10 her
hinkshe she's the like tobut
won't lose the
merely OF Idle Your Dusen
hands Your fame the
feetug thing For city celebrity
is short-lved as its curiosity is easily excited
Van Dusen quite medical experts
decided Her eccenriciy consists boarding weahAsa
Gould, ct als into and show
should put into asylum for the disnolina
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

her affecting deafness
answering question.
Expression far from being necessity old Scotch
when all Van
she shrewd enough questions pertinent
promptly.
And Why. having all this
prefer choose Clothes" replied wit exquisite
"Why did all money you ?" she was
"Because afraid somebody IL from And
did, o finishes
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23


humorI
that give nfodng of that which dearest them
Mrs Van Duen individual gold into of halt
petticoa
pockets And pocket of her Olympus
these coins to deity
Then she dons golden about her aud
her
Crafty Mrs fall
robbers might
houses but DID, shabby Dzen in
faded Joseph
Francisco absolutely being
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
cALIFoRNIANs IN WASHINGTON.

WASHINGTON, Oct 22.-Edward J. Holland
of San Francisco is at Wizards, w. A. Salter
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

Ups % snow an eApahse OF heaithy gums ana good
she won't word She mother
that has known thirty
has known from little child
When the Judge discharged the old body,
wouldn't home with
detectives she calls enwould and take
oh,
"'Come on; come home Mrs. Van Dusen
'AI she ain: n o HON n 10
AN You just
home you'll have too The old body
hel Why why kind o. laws
be taken jail like that?
like old
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

There to be desire against spi
ting IN public places Probably this was
IN the mind OF the statesman who from depths of pro-
found wisdom and righteous indignation law
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

1t gratifying to note that waiting world
given picture OF the clothes by Cisneros on
when she rescued by brave man
whom yellow journalism i'm medatey proceeded to steal
True, clothes to look upon
presenting much the aspect OF lot extracted from
gbag and yet in the stronghold OF yellow journalism
a feeling the universe has scooped
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

L
owed a
h
Van Du
and tina i
belonged 20 she
nasyun
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

The daughter recently shot the loving whose
hands she undergoing correction refuses
This shows concusivey that
KIND and yet the method will not be generally approved
Perhaps the knowledge of interesting people that
they are related to each other all either
needs, and it is surely severe
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

SPECIAL 1nlo rma tlon daily TO manufacturers
business houses and public men by the Pres,
C4lpplng Bureau (AlIen'sl, 51O MontgomerY
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

But they don't
o De S easpeity
the
Of wealth
n is a
all
now
Poor Ellen Van Dusen sits
o. W e head
ire and neve requaL
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

rather Portland to receive la.ta.
howling anarchists denouncng them "degeneraes" Bu
here ofore the pot selEexaItaon has baen
known TO cali kettle black.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

CALIFORNIA glace fruits. SOC ib. Townsend.s 3.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

While human mind naturally experiences some diff
Guilty regarding Russell Sage philanthr there
genuine observing that to have
TO try.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23
ELLEN VAN DUSEN-A WOMAN OF MEANS

Ellen
her be TO- for
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

Seattle Judge has been to the trouble punch some
the exclusion really unnecessary
The act already largely
apertures loosely strung ether Ii
the it his duty monkey with it
of them might do the other thing and instead of
creating holes patch that already there
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

GENUINE eyeglasses specs, 15c. s8 Fourth st.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

There lively times In prospect for shall be
responsible for the starving death English
respondent in Cuba The suspicion being
dadvantageous it may be under circumstances
conservative people inclined believe con-
stitute capital offense
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

People inclined 10 doubt that Sage trying to buy the
Union Pacific will have 10 admit that the denial
he rumor goes far toward confirming it.
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

After at Santa Rosa had been to jail for
deputy rotted him pair had
jolly tmc This style OF doing business might
Santa Rosa it's different deputy is looking
a
The San Francisco call., 1897-10-23

Madrid paper excaims with show of emotion tha
Spain keep silence face its treatment bv tn
Uuited States OF course it cant Nobody to- lie
howl Ill black in the face in the process nos the
satisfaction.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1897-06-09
Entertaining Girls.

When you ask a young girl to be
your guest do not leave her compan-
ionless. All girlish pleasures are
doubled by sharing, and ina country
house those delicious hours of undress
and resting after the golf links, the
tennis court, or the long ride bring
such condolences and intimacies as
grow nowhere else. Only let the two
young women have kindred tastes
and come from the same social CO.
teries, if possible. No hospitality has
a surer reward than this, and if you
are the mistress of your own garden
Il mean if you do not live under the
dominion of an overwise or overzeal-
Gus gardener). and are not timid
about cutting your own flowers just
when and how you choose; if you can
let two city girls cut their own
boquets for their evening dress and
roam at large among the loneliness
they usually see only behind plate
glass windows, you will create an era
in their lives. Only, if they go among
the roses, teach them to cut them
properly and leave two "eyes" upon
the stalk for coming bloom. The
dearest girl in the world, even she
whom you would be willing your son
should marry, should be kept from
Strengthening the roses.-NeW York
Evening Post.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1897-06-09
Not So Sure About Tea.

In reply TO criticism of the increased
revenue taxes on beer and tobacco
and the new ten-cent duty on tea
Senator Aldrich explains that these
we're selected as articles in voluntary
use-that is, practically luxuries-
and that it was believed that they
could bear the enhanced taxation
better than necessary articles or the
raw materials of manufacturing. So
fara as beer and tobacco go, this reaso-
ming is undoubtedly sound, but the
expediency of removing tea from the
free list, where it has been for %
years, has not yet received convinc-
ing demonstration.-BoStOn Journal.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1897-06-09

first, and then showed some simple
experiments in physics, which in
terested them exceedingly. Fernand
seems to have a special genius for
such things and informed us that he
was going to make an incline plane
like that one. He already has a
camera nearly finished, and has
made a pretty G. E. pin of two kinds
of metals. l wish he could go away
to some good school, instead of
spending his time sharpening saws.
After refreshments we all drew pic
lures of animals, without putting on
the name, and then we hung them up
and each one tried to guess what
they were. 1t caused a great deal of
fun as some of them turned out so
differently from what the owners ex-
pected. They did not seem at all
anxious to leave, and [ think would
be glad to have such an evening
often. They have been in several
times since then in twos or threes to
call, and it really seems as if we had
gained considerable influence over
them. Last Sunday every one of the
six was at the five O'Clock church
service, after having been to the G..
E. meeting and two OF them at least
to church and Sunday-school in the
morning.
The day school is growing too,
although some of the children have
been taken out. Five or more are
gone and yet now there are eight or
ten more than at Christmas time.
One Saturday we took the older ones
out for a picnic, and had a fine time.
There were 25 boys and girls under
thirteen. We played various games
for prizes, and when we were tired
running we guessed words beginning
with certain letters and tried an
swering questions, receiving a little
candy for each one correctly answer
ed, though if any one answered more
than once he had the privilege of Civ
ing his reward to some one who had
none. "Who is the king of Spain ?"
Glow many provinces has Spain"
GLOW much is six times seven?'
"Who were the first inhabitants of
Spain?" ETC., were answered by some
one, but "What is the beginning of
friendship (the letter f. and "What
makes more noise than a Donkey"
(two) were posers and the one who
gave the question pocketed the re-
ward. The children went home
perfectly happy, with their pockets
full of little crackers and oranges.
Monday afternoon we gave the in
fants, to the number of 33, a good
time in the big school-room. This
fun consisted in hunting for peanuts,
hidden all over the room.
There is so little sunshine that
comes into the lives of some of these
children that | am very glad when
we can add a little more, and it helps
to unite them more closely to us and
the church. Do not forget them i'll
your prayers, when you are praying
for the work here, nor the dear boys
either. ALICE FL. BUsHEE.
News and citizen. [volume] (Morrisville, Vt. ;) 1881-current, 1897-06-09
The De Laval separators.

What dairyman is there who does
not want to be up-to-date in his
knowledge of the details of that in
dustry? And how is he to be up-to-
date unless be makes use of reliable
literature along that line? The De
Laval Separator Company have re-
Gently issued a pamphlet on up-to-
date dairying that deserves wide
reading because of its practical char
acter. The attractive view on the
cover-a dairymaid at work with d
cream separator-will suggest to the
dairyman the possibilities of ease
and expedition involved in the De
Laval apparatus; and the inside
pages aboundin illustration, instruc-
ton, and testimony that will con-
vince him that the machine is worth
trial Send to "a Cortland Street,
New York City, for pamphlet, or to
Mosely & Stoddard, Rutland, the New
England agents.