The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1897-10-08
GOT HIS DISCHARGE.
HOW a SWIFT PAGER FROM clNclN-
MATT WON $500.

The medical department is regarded as
fair game by the enlisted man in the army
as we'll as in the navy. In both services
there is a fixed penalty for the military
crime of malingering-a word, by the
way, that is now conyersationally obsolete
in the services and hardly ever employed T
except in written official reports" beating I
the sick list being the modern fashion
of referring, by both officers and men, to
the crafty work of the malignerer. 1t is
not often that the malignerer is brought
TO book, however, owing to the extreme
difficulty usually encountered by the sur
geons in proving an absolutely clear case
against him. To establish case against |
a malignerer is generally a job of such
proportions that few military surgeons
have the heart to attempt 1t.
It is not alone for the purpose of escap-
ing duty that the enlisted men of the two
services endeavor to deceive the medical
departments. They quite often attempt to
get out of the service upon the surgeons
recommendation.
The feigning of insanity has often been
successful within recent years in cases of
men who wanted to doff their uniforms
charges. There was an extraordinary case
of this sort at one of the western recruit
ing stations in 1891. In large batch of
recruits that arrived one morning at the
station was a we'll educated, clipper built
young chap from Cincinnati He was in
appearance and manner SO far and away
ahead of the other fellows in the batch that
he caught the eyes of the company cap
tains at once, and each of them wanted to
get the promising looking recruit into his
company. The captain of the company to
which the recruit was assigned called the
young fellow into his orderly room at once
and made good deal of him.
On the same afternoon this recruit from
Cincinnati was reported missing from his
company roll call. The captain instructed
the first sergeant to institute search for
the man. Several men were detailed for
the work of hunting him up, and they
searched the whole post high and low
without finding him Then the guard
was notified of the recruits absence, and
the sergeant of the guard was directed to
find him and put him under arrest. A
corporal and several sentries prowled about
the garrison for an hour without discover
ing a sign of the missing recruit. While
the corporal and sentries were still out on
their vain search the bell of the guard
house telephone rang furiously. The tele-
phone communicated with the command
ing officers quarters alone, and the COM
manding officer was at his end in force.
Is that you, sergeant of the guards' he
inquired. Well, come over here instantly
with about 20 files of the guard and have
,em load their guns with ball There's a
id raying lunatie of recruit taken pos
session of my quarters Come in a hurry. !"
The commanding officer explained after
ward what had happened. On returning
from his office to his quarters he was sur
prtsed on approaching the house to hear
III f2zs ssHg ca yisau 30
another post and be knew that his middle
aged servant was always visiting her GRO
mics on sSoapsuds row" at that hour of
the afternoon. Moreover, none of his
daughters, and certainly not the servant,
could produce such music So he did NOT
know what to make of it. He walked up
The steps and through the wide open door,
way in hurry, the music still continu-
ing. When he entered the parlor, be saw
good looking soldier seated at the piano.
playing Chopin nocturne with great feel
ing.
What the dev''- the commanding
officer started to exclaim.
just minute, Willie - said the sol
der, turning to the commanding officer
with heatific smile and going on with
his playing. Don t interrupt me until I
finish this grazioso movement; then I'll
be at your service, me man-ahl'' And
ne finished his performance with a mellow
chord and wheeled around on the stool to
lace the commanding officer, who was on
the verge of apoplexy.
all this blankety blank
Softly, softly, me man, :" said the good
looking soldier with appraised hand and
sudden look of seriousness on his connie
nance. You don't want to find Yourself
In the guardhouse, do you? Well, I'll have
you there in just three minutes if I hear
any more of such language. What the
deuce do you mean by forcing yourself in
TO my quarters anyhow? I'll tell you what.
Willie, the sooner you get it through your
head that I'm in command of this garri-
SON.
The commanding officer had enough
strength left to reach the telephone in the
next room and ring up the guardhouse,
The recruit from Cincinnati followed him
into the room and stood smiling while the
commanding officer talked over the wire
III turn the tables on you, Willie.
when the guard arrives, he said, and then
he walked over to the sideboard and poured
out two stiff drinks of brandy from the
decanter. Meantime, Willie, You NAV
drink my health and my success as major
general commanding the army of the
United States" and he was just handing
the commanding officer the glass when the
sergeant and sentries entered the room at |
a lope. The recruit from Cincinnati struq
gled furiously, but the men of the guard
Overcame him, and in few minutes he
was in straitjacket in a guardhouse cell.
The post surgeon visited him and at once
pronounced the man a raving maniac.
The recruits people In Cincinnati were
notified of his condition. The young mans
father proved to be a wealthy manufactur-
er. He used his influence with the war
department. SO that the military authori-
ties turned his son over to his keeping for
treatment in private sanitarium.
The young man did not require any /
sanitarium treatment, nor did he 90 to
any sanitarium. He was an incorrigible,
known In Cincinnati as the swiftest PAGER
IN wild lot of youths, and when his ia
fhPF f00k him from s.,s,-4