Connecticut western news., 1897-07-08
WINNING THEWIDDER

Ut grieves me all fired copious, '" ob served Uncle Cy Clay, gravely contem- plating the quarter section of pancake poised on the end of his fork, "t' see tn f1irtatious carryin's on O this yere yaller headed schoolmarm an Doc Ev- erett, more especial as she is al ready spoke for by Jimmy Duval, an doc is knowed t be tn only husban an father of a interestin leetle fambly of s own, back in Ioway. But, then we'll, well, they's no 'countin fir tn &C., tions of tn female sect, more like eff they happ'ns t be O tn flirtatious v'ri- ety, an they most all be.
 "Ir'member one female in D 'ticl ar, " he continued after sending large swal- low of hot coffee in the wake of the de- parted piece of pancake-"I r'member one th't was sho' 'nough scand lous 'xample O what cur'us notions tn sect will take an tn onaccountable things they all II do.
 Twas back in Wyoming, in '67- time O tn Sweetwater 'xcitem mt, ye know. We'll, me an my two partners d ben minin out we're in Californy swhile, an was doin well 'nough, but jest's soon's tn rush come along 1t was up stakes with us, same's lot O oth- CT fool miners, an off we goes t tn Sweetwater country, ole Bill Heatwole an me an Ben-Ben Haskins, he was tn youngest O us, an chockful O tn ole Harry's ever any boy you ever seen- But white? That boy was white, he sho' was, eff ever white man lived. Eff e hadn't @ "a ben yere now, more'n likely.
 At Sweetwater, tn Widder Buck kep' a boardin house, an we all boards with Ger, an we fed high too. But, say, that widder was tn purtiest leetle crea- ture ye ever seen. Want more'n 24 T 25, an had rosy cheeks an eyes th't d just set y'r heart a-thumpin-black's any coal an bright's di'm'nds. Well, she did sho' drive tn boys crazy, an they want hardly one O 'em th't want wild t be tn landlord O th't there bean joint. Tn wust O it all was th't they want none O 'em but what, one time T mother, was dead sure he was goin t. s'ceed tn 'lamented Buck, which was gone b'fore bout three years back fir eff they ever was 8 sho' 'nough firt, twas th't same Widder Buck She'd take up an smile sweet t ev'ry new man th't showed up, ontell she had i'm on tn string good an hard. Then fir tn next.
 But W 'en our Ben jumps in an be- gins makin love in real ser us shape, we all begins to calc'late th't tn bloomin widder is sho' ketched lot, an reckons they's goin t be some splicin did in that there camp b fore Chris 'mas-w 'en all of suddint, along comes a lawyer chap hailin from Salt Lake an puts up t tn Hotel de Widder Buck, thereby causin hull lot O grief in camp, cause he hops in immediate an begins maxim love t tn landlady, her maxim no 'bjections as anybody knowed of.
 "Yere's where Ben makes a dead wrong play; fir, Instead of stickin to is guns, e right off makes jealous break T two, causin a row wi tn widder, quite natural Then off goes Ben an hires out t tn gove'nm mt fir a scout
 
 built, an tn Ogalalla Sioux was makin 'emselves real unpleasant, chargin round an liftin section han's' hair an sech like playful leetle tricks. So, s says, Ben goes off in huff an leaves tn run min t this yere- Salt Lake maverick as calls 'isself 'Jedge' Sherman an puts an hull lot O bogus airs an talks book English. Say, it jest made us sick it sho' did-th' way that there couple spooned round They was sev 'ral O tn boys th't jest ached t git Sherman intuh a argymint an kill i'm up 8 lot. but they never got no chance-th' Jedge was too foxy, he was, an too smooth t get intuh open trouble.
 "Jest about Chris mas time tn h. juns let up few an lays low, tn weather bein some cold an too many sojers round them parts, an one mornin tn widder gives it out th't she lays t go over t' Green River an enjoy 'erself a lot-she was fever beefn bout 'all work an no play. So, next day, off she an tn Jedge goes, with a greaser named Manuel drivin tn muel team. They'd jest got acrost tn South Fork an was, persoomable, quite conf table an happy, wen, all of a suddint, Manuel lets out a screech an jumps out of tn wagon, hollerin th't Injuns was comin. Sher- man looks out an sees cloud O dust bout two mile away (they want no snow on tn ground), an he jumps out, too, an in holy second him an that greaser had them muels cut loose an was aboard lem hittin the trail real swift fir Green River Course tn wid- der screeched after lem, but, turn round?-none whatever. Wy, that tar nal skunk didn't even wave lis handl
 "Well, tn widder sits an weeps quite oopious fir awhile, an then makes up Ter mind th't she don't perpose t stay there an get scalped-none what ever. So she piles out O tn wagon an makes sneak t git under tn bank an then travels up toward tn dus' cloud, fggerin tn Injuns d be most likely t look down stream instead of up, but wen tn Injuns comes clost, high, low and b'holdl They hain't no Injuns at all, but some O Gen 'ral Augur's troops a-drivin in strap stock, an Ben was with 'em.
 Well, O course they tackles on t tn widder's wagon an heads fir Green n Il