The herald., 1897-04-01
STARBEAMS

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Kansas City has Salvation army
lassie who is 72 years old.
No petitioner ever had a stronger case
than the Philadelphia woman who has
sued for divorce because her husband
forbade her to eat pie.
President Mckinley has a smooth face,
and one of the members of the cabinet,
Secretary Long, has a mustache, and
all of the others are bearded.
Conspicuously displayed in the First
National bank of Lafayette, Ind, is
this sign: You can't expect to rate as
a gentleman if you expectorate on the
floor"
western justice of the peace who
does a good deal of marrying displays
this motto on the wall Of his office:
Fools rush in where angels fear to
tread"
1t is safe to say that the very happiest
moment of Thurber's life was when Mr.
Cleveland landed in his lap as the presi-
Dental carriage made a sudden lurch
upon leaving the Ebbitt house on Tues
day.
Does the young woman who rides to
the theater in a $5 carriage, sits in ST
seat and looks at the stage from behind
81 bouquet, while sitting beside $40
q week clerk, never ask herself If she is
doing right?
The breeding of black and maltese
cats will be carried on by fur company
at Lacon, ILL.,, which has purchased 160
acres of land for that purpose. In this
industry all danger of crop failures is
practically eliminated.
A Salvation army advertisement in
the Arkansas City Traveller reads as
follows: RED Eagle. a converted In
Df he
sing and beat the tamtam for Jesus at
the barracks on Friday night"
English people who consider them
selves very proper sometimes do things
which would shock their straightlacei
American brethren. Clergymen in Eng
land often play cards for money, and
women do so as a matter OF course.
A returned New Yorker says he never
played a game at an English house at
which there was not money stake
The people referred to are those who are
designated as the middle class"
Monkeys, after a short period of cap
tivity, become almost as degraded and
as barbarous as certain human beings.
At Ulmer park, Gravesend beach, L. l.,
there is a monkey who is wife -beater
He freely drinks whisky and beer, and
pretty regularly beats, in a brutal man
ner, the partner of his Joys and sorrows.
a female moneky. who occupies the
same cage The latter's head always
bears marks of his cuffs and blows.
What Is called Mystery sociap' was
given at a Presbyterian church in a
Kansas town one night last week. The
menu card had nine numbers corre-
spending with the following articles:
Cake, coffee, popcorn, milk, toothpicks.
sandwiches, water, pickles. apples.
Each person could order five numbers
without knowing what they represented.
One young woman drew this combina
ton: Coffee, water, pickles, popcorn and
toothpicks.
Soon after street cars were put on in
Atlanta a certain citizen made 1t rule
to get on a car with $40 or 800 bill. and
as the conductor in those days seldom
had enough money to change such bills
the enterprising citizen succeeded in
getting number of free rides. He was
cured of this habit, however. by con-
ductor whom he had worried consider
ably. One day when he presented $40
bill this conductor handed his passenger
$40 in nickels, less four, which he took
out for back debts.
st. Patrick's church, Galway Ireland,
has been closed for the last thirty-five
years. 1t is a magnificent structure of
cut stone and can seat 1900 people. The
apparent abandonment of 1t by the
Catholics has always puzzled tourists.
The fact of it is, however, that the faith
full could not gain admission to 1t be-
cause the plot of ground in front of it
was owned by bitter Protestant. He
built a high wall directly in front of the
chapel door and there it has stood till
last week when the persistent obstruc-
tor died. Now the bishop has bought
the ground and the flock will soon wor-
ship in their temple for the first time
since 1862
In a village near Boston reside two
young men of a scientific turn of mind.
They have been discussing whether a
man weighs more after eating than be-
fore, and have decided that eating adds
nothing to the weight. while drinking
makes itself known in avoirdupois. Re-
Gently they weighed themselves just be-
fore going to dinner. Mr.. Porter
weighed 191 pounds and Mr.. Whelden
165. They also weighed what they ate
for dinner, and the experiment showed
that the smaller man was the better
feeder for, according to the scales, he
got away with three and half pounds
of eatables, while his companions ca
pacity was only two pounds. The men
weighed themselves again directly after
dinner, and both declare that their
weight was not increased at all.-Kan-
sas City Star.