The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1897-05-18
WAYSIDE GATHERINGS.
Bits OF Humor and Nuggets of Truth
for the rlultitude


There is more snuff used in Boston
than in any other city in the United
States.
The United States last year pro.
duced $4,000, 600 barrels of fermcnted
liquors.
The habit of jesting about sacred
things implies the possession Of low
and coarse nature.
"A sound discretion is not so much
indicated by never making mistake
as by never repeating it.
One hundred and twenty firemen
are required TO feed the furnaces of a
first class Atlantic steamer.
A caterpillar is SO greedy that in
one month it usually devours 5000
h"nes its own weight in food
Happiness consists not in having
vast and rich possessions, but in being
lifted to enjoy what we have
TO have friends we must make our.
selves friendly, and thus can we hope
to widen the circle of our usefulness.
DO good constantly, patiently, and
wisely, and you will never havc cause
to say that life was not worth living.
-Fear of what people will say has a
more religious effect on the world
than the fear of what the Lord will
think.
OF the 80 cities of the United
states OF 10000 population and up
ward, - own their own water plants
and do not.
Governor Grout, OF Vermont. is a
maple sugar farmer, and is said to have
made 1000 pounds OF sugar and syrup
this season.
-EX-Senator Coke, OF Texas. is suf-
icring from paralysis which involves
MS brain, and is believed to be beyC.d
hope of recovery.
N harmless lotion for removing
irccklcs Is as follows: Lemon iuice
one ounce; Lowdcrcd borax, one-half
dram sugar, one-half dram
He" Carrie. will you make me
the happiest Of men ?" She-''I should
like TO, Harry, but think | prefer to
remain the happiest Of women"
Hoses discovered in tombs con-
taiLing Egyptian mummies often have
their coIors perfect, even though some
OF those found must be over 300 years
old.
In Bulgaria the proprietors of a
medicine, by which they claim to cure
special disease, are liable to imDris-
.onment if the medicine fails to produce
the desired fleet.
"A large proportion OF the accidents
and much OF the sickness from which
cOltS ana horses suffer, are due to neg
lect and careiessness on the part of
those in charge.
Prince Wittgenstcin stands at the
head OF Grrmany's landed aristocracy.
lie owns 600 600 acres. Fourteen n
other titled landlords own between
them 5000 600 acres.
"A salesman OF Cincinnati is said to
ne the tallest man in the world. He is
:, feet u inches in height. Queen
Victoria presented him a gold watch
when he was in the show business.
h, Usually, the greatest boasters arc
the smallest workers. The deep rivers
pay larger tribute to the sea than
shallow brooks, and yet empty them
selves with less noise.
1t does not seem to be generally
known that the turkey was domesti-
Gated by the Indians long before the
discovery OF this continent by white
men, but such is the case.
True happiness never flows into q
man, but always out OF him. Hence
heaven Is sometimes found in cottages
ana hell IN palaces. Heaven itself is
more internal than external.
Those who have tried it suy that
II two or three dauGelion leaves be
chewCd before going to bed they will
induce sleep, no matter how nervous
or worried one may be.
The island of Puerto Rico ia more
popui Gus than CUBA, quite as rich and
productive, and almost as disatfcctcd
Inc Spanish government has been OBJ
llged to Increase its forces there for
fear of an outbreak
Too often, rs II very respectable
looking professor Of religion dashes
by in his phUton, with his wife and
daughters dressed in the most costly
garments the remark is heard, off |
had what belongs to me he would not
cut such u DASH
~ thought you advertised that
you were selling out at cost" grOwled
the customer, throwing down the re-
quired 20 cents for a small package of
note paper = Yes, sir" replied the
stationer briskiy. That's right. We
referred to our postage stamps"
"A queer libel suit has been in
stituted against Il newspaper in Indiana
for averring tnat the plaintiffs horse
was fed on SOUP, being too old to eat
corn. He claims 81 600 damages,
alleging that he has suffered great
mental anguish on account Of the pub
licatiOn.
An old Marqucsan chief, on being
told by a missionary that in heaven
there was no war, nor hunger or thirst,
nor sickness or death, replied, THAT
will be a good place for towards, and
lazy folks who are afraid to fight and
too lazy to climb brcad.fruit and cocoa
nut trees"
=" Where do you wish to go ?" asked
the railroad ticket seller, as "A some
what unsteady man slapped down half
dollar before him. "Sh-pose it's h-l.
Got any tickets to there ~ said the
applicant No Ot'icc for that place
across the street. said the railroad
man, pointing to liquor saloon.
DR.. Babpgton used to tell story
OF an Irish gentleman, for V nom he
prescribed an emctic, saying: My
dear doctor, it is OF no use your giving
me an emetic. | tried it twice n
Dublin, and it would not stay o. 10y
stomach either time"
Lemons are a simple and excel
lent remedy for biliousncss. Take the
juice OF one or two lemons in as much
water as will make it pleasant to drink
withcut sugar, before going to bed.
In the morning on rising, at least half