davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28
IDyLs.

Yonkers Statesman. she-poes the, baby
take after its mother? Howell. 1t hasn't
begun to talk yet.
Boston Globe: she-Do you love me for
myself alone, dearest? He-Of course l do.
You don't suppose I want your mother
about you al! the time, do you?
WASHINGTON Star. Many err gal" said
Uncle Eben 'fs dszaled by de shine on er
~realizln' tell IT'S too late dat de gloss mean
jes' dat much mo trouble foh de women
folks on ironin' days"
Truth: ~Bacon-Your wife plays n good
game of croquct, does she not? Egbcrt--
game, doesn't she? "Well. yes; 1 never
heard her swear"
Detroit Journals: Shell don't think they
VIII be happy. She must pe twenty years
his Junior.
will be ten years from nowi
Philadelphia North Americans: Polly.
Yes; l really believe he was just a little
bit tipsy. Madge-What did you do? Polly
What could |, when he told me my eyes
had Intoxicated himr
Chicago Record: "A man who is just
married tells his wife everything"
And after he gets better acquainted with
her he doesn't tell her anything"
fa HSase fSp ns wo Snna," And %Ys yoa ASKED sMSs her Sp
yioient?' ".vcryl He said | must be an
idiot to- think of such n thing What did
you reply?' II told him that of course he
knew his own family better than I did:
but that l was willing TO take my chances"
New York ruth; Chumley-You're a
mighty poor talker, especially to ladies'.
How did you raise the nerve to propose to
Miss Sweet?
Dumley-Oh. aw! I didn't say much of
anything. ! handed my ring to her and she
slipped it on her left finger and said, "All
right-it hts!"
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

nothing that will take the place in local
elections OF the potency to bring men to
the polls Of the all-absorbing interest
in the complexion of a national adj
ministration.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

The Bradley-Martin function, which
monopolized the sensational press for
several months, is now eclipsed by the
attention given to the Corbett-F itzsim-
mons function.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

If the members of the Nevada legis-
lature happen to place their money on
the wrong man, the prize fight law will
be repealed if it takes an extra session
IN do If
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28
A street Car symptom.

When a woman has a pretty hand and
wrist and a new pair Of gloves she doesn't
object so strenuously to standing up in a
street car and clinging to a strap as she
might otherwise.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

TIN dynamite cruiser Vesuvius has
been ordered south and n new eruption
of the Cuban jingoes may be anticipated
at any moment
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Where was Omaha and the Second
congressional district when Governor
Holcomb gave out the recount commits
sionership pie?
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Will the commissioners appointed to
conduct the recount of the constitutional
amendment ballots be able to carry with
them on retiring from office the title of
count?
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

The Commercial club doubtless bases
its opposition to the presidents forestry
proclamation rather on present eX-
p%ediency than on general hostility to the
preservation of forests.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Keep your eye on Nebraska. When
prosperity settles down on the country
Nebraska is going to be found in a seat
In the front row.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

TOTAL. .'. 1870
'Iers deductions for unsold and returned o.,
copies. N
r. 49,, . .G22 14s
~ GEORGE II. TzSCHUCK.
Sworn to before me and subscribed III ny
". r. FELL.
,soa,, Notary Public.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Trying music as a cure for insanity
may be applying the remedy on the
theory of like curing like. Success must
depend upon the kind of music.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28
~Sugar-Conted HumOr.

The remark OF the treasurer of the Sugar
trust that Investigations hurt industry is
quite likely to find a place in the lingo of
the day. It's real funny.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

When doctors disagree legislators
will have to rely OF their w judg-
ment.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Over 10000 more stay-at-home voters
in Philadelphia at its city election this
month than at the presidential election
last November. There is apparently
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

The scalpers will be permitted to keep
their scalps n little while longer.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

THE NoRTHfhSTERNS CONTRIBUTION
The handsome contribution of the Chi
cago & Northeastern railroad to the
TransmississipnA Exposition is highly
appreciated by the citizens of Omaha
and the friends of the exposition every
where. President Hughitt has re-
deemed the promises made in behalf of
the Northwestern system and his
action has given the project an impetus
that goes far toward assuring the
creditable execution of the plans of its
promoters.
The action of the Northwestern will
doubtless be emulated by the other lines
Immediately interested in the develop
ment of the greater west and especially
those that will reap direct benefits from
the holding of the exposition at Omaha.
1t goes without saying that Omaha will
reciprocate the liberal encouragement
extended to the exposition whenever the
opportunity TO do so is offered.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28
A Cheering Combination.

L HiidhtiIiiih iiiitS
These reports that prosperity is dawning
are all the more encouraging from the fact
that the days are getting longer.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Immediately Sdf1ress itself to the task
of effecting the needed change and there
appears to be favorable promise that 1t
will succeed. LThe hope of American
labor is in tlt restoration of republican
policy and 1t ought to be many years
before the workingmen of the United
States again array themselves against
that policy, as they did in 1892.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28
STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

OF "KCULAIIO
State OF Nebraska,
Douglns County.
George b.. Tzschuoh, secretary OF The Be fup-
iishi1g company, being duly sworn, says tnat rhe
actual number OF full and complete copies on inc
Daily Morning, Evening and sunday bee printeu
during the month of January, 49,, was as ioi-
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

what's the Matter with Nevndas
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Christians in Crete could almost give
Weyler instructions in the bowling wilder
ness business.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

HAS BEEN MADE WITH ALL
THOSE SUITS AND OVERCOATS, IN
BOTH THE MEMS AND Chill
DREN'S DEPARTMENTS, THAT FOR
ONE REASON OR ANOTHER DIDN'T
SELL AS WE HAD EXPECTED, AND
NOW WE HAVEN'T ANYTHING ON
HAND THAT is IN ANY WAY BE-
HIND THE TIMES.
THERE ARE A FEW ODD SUITS
LEFT, HERE AND THERE, THAT
ARE STILL TO BE HAD AT A VERY
GREAT REDUCTION FROM FOR
MER PRICES, BUT NOT MANY OF
THEM. IN THE CHILDREN's DE
PARTMENT, TOO, THERE REMAIN
A FEW GENUINE BARGAINS.
BUT WE ARE ABOUT READY
NOW TO SHOW YOU THE NEW
THINGS FOR SPRING. COME IN
WHEN YOU HAVE TIME.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Detroit Journal: Shell don't think they
Will be happy. She must be twenty years
his Junior.
He-And Just think what the disparity
will be ten years from now
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Truth: ~Bacon-Your wife plays n good
game of croquct, does she not? Egbcrt--
Yes. but she plays rather, a conservative
heard her swear
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Philadelphia North American: Polly
Yes; l really believe he was just a little
bit tipsy. Madge-What did you do? Polly
had intoxicated him3
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Yonkers Statesman: She-Does the baby
take after its mother? Howell. 1t hasn't
begun to talk yet.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Boston Globe: She-Do you love me for
myself alone, dearest? He-Of course l do.
You don't suppose I want your mother
about Won all the time, do YOU?
Omaha daily bee., 1897-02-28

Chicago Record: "A man who Is just
married tells his wife everything"
"Yes?'
"And after he gets better acquainted with
her he doesn't tell her nnything."
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
SONNET.

Our yesterdays lnthrall our morrows still
By chains no rust of time can wear away,
That with their iron and persistent sway
Serve purposes undreamed of to fulfill
And wake up echoes of the good and i'll
In mournful cadence or a rhythm gay.
Ofttimes what fateful sequences are they
Which follow trifiing acts of sudden Will
Small streams grow broader as they onward
wind
To reach at last the ever rolling sea.
Hark back through memory's labyrinth and
we find
Small accidents-if accidents there be-
Had power our future years to free or bind
And be the factors of our destinyl
Camilla Grassland in Chambers Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Fishy.

A man who resides on the east side
relates an incident which may be true,
but it sounds fshy.
His boy caught a large sucker cou-
pie of years ago, and since that time he
has been experimenting with his finny
pet somewhat. The fish has been kept
out of the water so much that it gradu-
ally became accustomed to it, and fre-
quently Topped out of the water itself
and followed the boy around Finally
the boy placed it in pen and gradual
ly reduced its bathing periods until it
became acclimatized, abandoning en-
tirely its native element. 1t would fol
low the boy around like dog, and one
day he started over to town across the
swinging bridge with the pet fish flop
ping along after him. But alas for boy
ish hopes! The fish made a slight mis-
cue and topped overheard into the creek
and drowned before the boy could res
cue him. m.-Punxsutawney Spirit.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Caught by a New Game.

whats the matter with yop?"
asked the head of the firm when he
came in and found the junior partner
pacing the floor like Gagged lion
Understand that this is strictly be-
tween ourselves, came the answer in
an irritated voice. "There are some
things that man wants to endure
without any assistance or sympathy
from others. Lwas sitting here an hour
sgo looking through the mail A we'll
dressed man with pleasing manners
came in and asked for you, stating that
there was an important matter of bust
ness about which he must talk with
you personally. We had a pleasant lit
tie chat, when he looked at his watch,
said he seemed to have conflicting en-
gagements, and asked if he might use
the telephone. OF course l consented
and showed him through the next room
into the booth.
''In about ten minutes he came out
smiling, thanked me cordially and said
he would be back in half an hour to
transact his business with you. He
wasn't more than out of the building
when the telephone jingled and the
main office inquired whom that message
to st. Louis should be charged to.
What message?' yelled excitedly.
"Why, the one that just went over
the long distance, of course
MY knees quaked and my voice
quavered as asked how much it was.
Just sl5. So came the maddening
reply
"'Charge it to me, shouted, and
then chased wildly around the block
looking for the fellow. That was an
other fool trick. To think of man of
my age and experience being such an
unmitigated and Internal chumpl I'll
hunt that fellow to the ends of the
earth. But don't you say a word. Mind
now. detroit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
AN OPEN LETTER
To MOTHERS

WE ARE ASSERTING IN THE COURTS OUR RIGHT TO THE
EXCLUSIVE USE OF THE WORD "CASTORIA" AND
PITCHER'S CASTORIAn AS OUR TRADE MARK.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
SAILED THE COW TO A FAIR.
And This Cape Colder Captain Got First
Prize In Special Glass.


And This Cape Colder Captain Got First
Prize In Special Glass.
When l was down on Cape Cod, !
heard an amusing story about an old
sea captain and his COW. Captain Pat
terson, after sailing the sea for more
than 40 years, finally retired to little
farm near Barnstaple, where he settled
down, with horse, COW and two or
three dozen hens. His COW, though
lank and rather stubborn creature, was
said to come from very good stock, and
when the Barnstaple people took it into
their heads to have fair Captain Pat
terson determined to exhibit his cow
But when the day came for driving
her to the grounds the COW showed that
she had mind of her own and would
not bulge step beyond the farmya1d
gate. In vain the old captain tugged at
the rope, pummeled her sides and push
ed her f1anks. The COW wanted to go
20 pasture and was bound she wouldn't
go to the fair.
Captain Patterson's patience was
very nearly gone, when suddenly an
idea occurred to him. Though he was
not strong enough himself to force the
COW to go to the fair his training sug-
gested something that was. Tying the
COW to the gatepost, he went up into
the loft of his barn and threw down an
old sail stepped to a dory mast. Then
he put horses blanket belt through an
iron ring, strapped the belt around the
COW, inserted the end of the mast in the
ring and bound the mast to the side OF
the COW with some 80 feet Of rope.
The wind blew "quartering, " and
when the captain united the COW and
raised the sail the canvas swelleG out
over the cows back, and away she went
"sidling" down the road mooing and
plunging and trying to stop herself in
vain. Captain Patterson seized her tail,
and using it as a rudder guided her
skillfully in the right direction. With
every fresh puff of wind the obstinate
COW would be hurried along faster,
while the dust blew up in clouds and
the sail tapped and tugged as Captain
Patterson held to the mainsheet with
one hand and the cows tail with the
other.
1t was hard voyage for both OF
them, but not long one, and whom
they came in sight of the fair ground
everybody ran out to see the remarkable
sight of cow being sailed through the
streets like a ship. Cheers and laughter
filled the air, and when the captain
finally whirled his COW around at the
gate Of the fair ground and brought her
neatly cup into the wind'' the shout
that arose might have been heard two
miles away.
Unfortunately Captain Patterson's
&C W did not take one of the prizes fo,
blooded stock, but the captain himself
was given a special prize by the fai,
commissioners for "the best advice fol
getting balky cattle to market Out
look.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
HOW'S THIS?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure.
f. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have known F. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by their firm.
WEST & TRUAx, Wholesale Druggists,
Toledo, o..
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O..
Hrll's Catarrh Cure is taken internally
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
SURFACES of the system. Testimonials sent
free. Price 75c. per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
COLUMBUS BUGGY co.

Resumed July 10th and reports the biggest
September trade experienced during the past
ten years. Customers appreciate the "Good
Old Columbus more than ever, and all
agree that the work turned out since the
resumption is more than up to the old
standard. A. G. & ]. Q. Glenn, 213-215
Market Street, San Francisco, Cal, have
been appointed Pacific Coast Agents, and
have received several carloads of the latest
STYLES. GLENN Bros. are also Coast Agents
for several other large factories and carry
the most complete stock of vehicles on the
Coast with prices and styles to suit every
one.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Hard to Part With,

Up-t Date.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
THE WORRY OF IT.

The world has come to know that the
muscles have much to do with the health
of the system, and the era of athletics
has so developed them that the whole
man is a stronger being than in former
wears. But the worry of it all is that the
muscles are of the flesh, feshy. little
twist, or slip, or jerk-these happen in all
work-and then sprain. Sprains dis
able and are costly in time and money,
put not if St. Jacobs Oil is used, for it
cures surely and promptly and the worry
of il is over
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Overheard in CHICAGO.

ga Washington scientist predicts
that deluge Of lake water will drown
out Chicago in 1857 A. D."
''Well, l hope to goodness he'll see
that it is boiled. ."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
A Needless Suggestion.

81 hope" said the woman who had
just engaged a servant, that you will
know your place."
81 know it now," was the reply. 81
has looked it oyuh an got retfunces
FUN yoh last help. 1 doesn' go inter
any place wifout knowin' it."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Long Sentence.

There are many colored justices in
the South, and the airs they put on are
sometimes amusing.
A negro had been convicted of steal
ing chickens, and sentence was about
to be passed upon him. The old justice
put on his glasses, and taking great
pains to look over the top of them, in
an impressive manner said:
81 finds de pris'ner guilty, and heah-
by sentences him to hard work in de
Jail fo' one year and nineteen months" :"
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25

1t is understood that the United
States warship Alert will remain in
Guatemala waters for the present, at
the request of Secretary of Legation
Prinsle. Guatemala is still practically
in state of seige, though troops are
arriving in the capital city every day
from the eastern and western depart
ments, which are being disbanded.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
WAKE LIP.

Yes, wake up to the danger which threatens
you if your dieneys and bladder are inactive
or weak. Don't you know that if you fail to
impel them to action, Bright's disease or
diabetes awaits you? Use Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters without delay. 1t has most beneficial
effect upon the kidneys when sluggish, and
system
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Dec1ined with Thanks,

II have proposed to seven girls this
summer already" said Timmins, "and
l haven't been able to get accepted
once. Dinged if 1 am not beginning to
feel like one Of my poems. "-Indianap-
oils Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Chat on the Boulevard.

Saddler-That was a wonderful per-
formance of Star Pointers, wasn't it?
1 tell you a mile in less than two min
utes is going pretty fast.
Wheeler-You bet it is. What gear
dld he have, l wonder Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25

We call attention to our readers that the Pa
cific Coast Jockey Club will begin its Winter
Season of Running Races at Ingleside Track on
November 1st Those visiting San Francisco
who desire to be entertained can find ample
amusement at this beautiful resort. The
grounds and buildings have been greatly i'm
proved and are equal, if not superior, to any in
The Limited States
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Prepared for the Fall.

Mamma-Why, Johnny, how wet
vour hair is! hope you haven't been
in bathing, when l told you you
mustn't.
Johnny-But 1 fell in the water,
mamma. You can't blame me for that.
Mamma-But how does it happen
that your clothes are dry!
Johnny-I took them off just before
T fell in. | thought you wouldn't like
me to get them all wet.-Boston Tran
script.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Celebrity.

Spats-Is there anything that might
be said to be quicker than a wink?'
Socratoots-Oh, yes; the druggist
who has instinct.-Richmond Dispatch.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
His WAY of Smoking Glass.

MIrphy-Well, this bates the divil
all out.
Mrs Murphy-Fwat does2
Murpby-Dooley tole me that If /
shmoked a piece of glass I'd be able to
see the spho;s on the sun. Sure, amt l
fairly kilt wild thrying to make me pipe
draw? 'Tis the way. I'm thinking, that
either l haven't the right kind of glass
or else Dooley's been fooling melon
don Tit Bits.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Selfish.

"Why do prosperous men always say
that the ladder of success is made up
Of broken rounds?"
"Well they do it so that other fellows
won't try to crawl up after them."-
Detroit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Silver Speech.

Wife-I take it you were only half
Husband-Why so?
81 see you've only one eye blackened. !"
cleveland World.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25

confirmation of this we, by permission,
refer to the following women, all of
whom speak from experience IL MISS
CELIA VAN HORN, 1912 Sharswood St.,
Philadelphia, Pa; MISS GRACE COL
LORD, 1434 Eastern Ave-, Cincinnati,
O.; Mrs. NEWELL, so Ryerson St.,
Brooklyn. N. Y; Mrs. ISABEL OBERG,
22o Chestnut St., Woburn, Mass; MRS.
A. 81. COLE, New Rochelle, N. Y, and
many others.
Women suffering from any form of fe-
male weakness are invited to promptly
communicate with Mrs. Pinkham at
lynn, Mass.
You can talk freely to q woman when
1t is revolving to relate your private
Ills to man
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Given Away.

Young Cook Ito soldier loyer)-How
neatly you carve that goose! with a
sudden outburst of jealousy You have
deceived me! l am not your first love.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Getting in Line.

"What does Biller mean by riding
around every day in an ice wagon?'
He's in training for the new gold re-
n."-Detroit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
booming.

GLOW do you find business?" asked
the kind old lady Of the man at the back
door with a pail on his arm.
"Everything's on the jump with me-
Could l sell you some frog legs ?"-De-
troit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
The Right Thing,

Longgreen-I want to fix my money
so it won't be fought over
Lawyer-That's all right. You just
leave it to me.-Detroit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Not to Be Beaten.

"My little sister is the best baby you
ever saw. She sleeps twenty -four
hours every day."
Huh! our'n sleeps twenty six
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
A Irving Hour.

Don't you think that Miss Frizzly is
a perfect poemT'
"Blank verse, 1 should say. 1 put in
an hour trying to talk to her."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
COf1cenfrafinnI II

$50 Brown Is married at last?
thought he was confirmed woman.
hater"
"Well"-1ndianapolis Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Hardships in Alaska.

Hungry Higgins-I wouldn't mind
goin' to Klondike if it wasn't fer having
to dig out the gold.
Weary Watkins-That amt the worst
of it, 1t has to be washed after 1t is
ug.-Indianapolis Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Starting a Fad.

how to get rid of that red nose," said
Cholly Knickerbocker to Mr.. Upper
crust, society man.
Nonsense! What are you thinking
about? I'm trying to make red noses
fashionable in society.-Tammany
Times.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
OUR BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.

foxes and Joke1ets that Are Supposed
To Have Been Recently Born-Sayings
and Doings that Are odd, Curious ana
Laughab1e-The Weeks Humor'
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
The Upward Tendency.

Yes. wheat is going up and so are
oats and corn and faxseed-what was
that explosion in the ceilar?"
Il guess mammals canned preserves
are going up, too."- "-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
alket-Enough gold?
PreDaratiOu.

Mrs. Jason-I see old 81 Howeiler has
had his hair cut short. Out lookin' fer
another wife. guess.
Mr.. Jason-Oh! In time O. peace pre-
parin' fer war, eh?-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
A Currency Ouestion.

do you support the gold standardists
or the bimetallists %
Neither. They're both wrong. Credit
is good enough for me."-Pick- -Me-Up
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Past and Present.

"Why, she actually snubbed him just
now and at the seashore last month she
professed to be intensely in love with
him."
"Oh, but that's decidedly past tense
now, you know w."-Philadelphia North
American.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
THE OLD STORY
OF LOVE AND LIFE,
AS TOLD IN THE NEW BOOK,
COMPLETE MANHOOD"

Thousands of happy men pronounce this
work the means of their physical salvation.
1t gives the latest scientific facts concerning
marriage.
1t describes the only known method of at
tanning fullest natural manly vigor.
1t points out Home Treatment for all ex-
cesses and sexual disbarments.
1t shows how to cure nervousness, hope
lessness despondency.
One copy of "COMPLETE MANHOOD
AND HOW TO ATTAIN IT" sent free, in
plain wrapper, sealed securely, to the address
of any sincere inquirer, by the Erie Medical
Company, 6s Niagara St., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Winslow mail., 1897-12-25
Her Comment.

'I have noticed" said Willie Wish
ington. "that a woman always puts the
most important part of her letter in the
postscript"
"You never do that" said Miss Cay
enne.
Never"
"Wel," she went on, thoughtfully,
"isn't it better to put the important
part Of a letter in the postscript than
to leave it out Observation-Disclosures
Star