Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-02-08
Ii AND THE EMPRESS.
The True Story of His Recent Quarre
With China's First Lady.

Inc Courier private Fek1ng wire brings
an interesting account of the audience
which the dowager empress gave to Lii
Hung Chang last week on his arrival in
the Celestial city. The viceroy, approach
ing the effulgent preserve of the throne on
his hands and knees, lightly brushed the
dust from her majesty's diminutive SAN
dals with his lips, and rising to kneeling
posture asked, "How old are
The absentminded earl did not check
himself in time, and his face grew ashy
pale as the eyes of the dowager empress
transfxed him. The courtiers held their
breath, and few who hated Lii sniggered
in their ample sleeves.
"What nonsense is this, Lip" asked the
empress. "How dare you ask how old I
am? You have my birthday book, haven t
your"
Pardon, pardon, o Light of Asia"
cried Ii. !'For the moment thought I
was addressing Victoria of England"
"Well that was stupid of you, I'm
sure" said the empress drumming impa-
tiently on the arms of the throne II
hope you don't thiuk I look like that
dowdy old trump"
Goodness, no" said Ii, "but she was
the last thing in the way of a royalty that
I saw on my travels, and for an instant I
forgot where I was at
Where you We're WHAT"
SAT That's an Americanism, you
know. Say, you ought to go to America.
1t knocks the eye out of any country
Travelled through"
" Is that an Americanism, too-that OPP
tical observation?'
Sure. Say, you. can talk any old way
in America and it goes. Seer All you
want is thoughts, and you can let your
mouth make just tho language it likes to
fit the thoughts It's out of sight when
you get on to it. But, talking about
America, if you go there it'll kill you dead
to-
There was shrek from the dowager
empress. "Guards! Guards!" she cried.
ooh, what will? What will?"
"What'll WHAT" asked Lii petulantly.
"What'll kill me dead?" And the dow
ager empress shuddered
Ii uttered blood curdling American
oath under his breath. Then aloud he
said: Nothing would, / guess. I simply
meant that you would be amazed to see
the tall buildings in America-20 stories
:
imperial palace There's not a pagoda in
all China half as high as the highest OF
these
The dowager narrowed her eyelids and
smiled superciliously. eve always held
you in high esteem as a liar Lii, " said she,
"but you seem to have added to your ac-
complishments during your sojourn in
foreign parts. Whatll you take?"
ooh, any old thing"
"What's that"
Pardon again, o Daughter of Heaven
I meant that left the matter to your I'M
paralleled self. But if l be commanded to
choose, let it be gin rickey.'
"What in the name of all that's celes-
tial is that"
tits hot stuff, o empress-a new drink
lately invented by an American states
man. Lo Feng Luh can mix it to your
sacred majesty's exalted taste, to say moth
ing of my humble and wretched one.
Lo Feng Luh retreated backward out OF
the presence to mix the gin rickey, and Lii
continues: "Yout omnivorous-I mean
mniscient-majesty may doubt me when
/ speak of the tall buildings of America,
but even they are not SO amazing as the
L
these machines, but experience of them
surpasses the widest preconception. They
are out Of sight
There you go dropping into America
again. Let's see--how Is 1t you say it.
Oh, yes-'it'n kill you dead if you don Y
cure yourself of that habit
That isn't just the way they use it in
America" said Ii. "You ought to make
1t more figurative, SO to speak, u
Well, didn't mean it in a flgurative
sense at all, Ii. I meant it literally
Please to bear that in mind. All, there &
Lo with the drinks What do you call
'em-ricketts?"
"Rickeys-gin rickeys. Here's to you
o Light of Asia, Flower of the Sum- Daugh
ter of the Gods, and so forth, and to Amer
lea. and to Mr.. Hickey. Down you 20.
May you live long and pro-wugh- br-r-r''-
The heads of the dowager empress and
Ii were tipped back and were only tipped
forward again when the glasses were
drained. The dowager empress thought.
fully smacked her lips and looked critical
ly into the glass.
"Well, said Ii, cts great, isn't itp"
II don't think said the dowager EN-.
press A wild burst of laughter broke
from the lips Of Lii Hung Chang He
doubled up on the floor and rolled mirth-
fully at the feet Of the dowager empress.
She, with wrathful eyes bent upon him,
commanded him to speak. care you
mad?" she cried.
II don't Think" shrieked Iii, and rolled
again In convulsive merriment, "'I don't
think. That's too good. Why, that's an
awful Americanismp'
IT was about to say, when you inter
,rupted me-" snapped the dowager en-
press, "that 1 don't think 1 like your
friend Mr.. Rickey's drink"
"Oh!" said Ii.
eyes. Oh! You've got into too free
way of interrupting and doing the talk
ing yourself, Iii. You are banished from
our presence for 80 days :"
And that is why and how Lii Hung
Chang is in disgrace for disregarding the
formalities In the dowager empress palace.
Buffalo Courier