Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-04-17

Hes constantly clamoring for pro.
lection for infant industrlcsg rs tina,
SO? Why, | didn't know he was ever
married. "-Chicago Post.
girl with new engagement ring
reminds you of man who always
Keeps his overcoat unbuttoned when he
has on a dress suit.-New York Press.
What on earth induced you. John?
You gave that waiter So for tip. and
lie was the worst I ever" "That's
just II, my dear, wanted to enable
him to etire."-Bazar.
kShe-lf you were to find that I had
lost all my fortunc-every penny Of II
would you hesitate 20 carry out our
engagement? 1lc-i would hesitate at
nothing. -lndianapolis Journal.
"The Romans" said the teacher.
''wcre good at bridge building" II
should say they were," murmured the
bad boy on the back seat Look ut
hsy Observation-Disclosures Times.
airs. Cohn-lkey, who Is dat In do
frond room NIT papa? 1kcy-A divin-
ity student vas looking for n furnished
s2.r,. Mrs, Cchn-.lkey, go oud ny der
hall undt vlsslc q hymn.-Judge.
'See here, young man." said H.: stern
father III y2v don't Come home earlier
eu.r this, III know the reason why"
Gtad ~ hear II. Governor; that will
save all explanations o.. my part."-De.
troit Free Press,
: DO sou pray for yodr dear teacher
often. Tommy asked the visitor to
the school. "ics, thir," replied Tommy
the Truthful. whenever thee whipth
me I pray for the devil to git her,
Cincinnati Tribune.
Little Boreham (rclating his Alpine
adventures)-There l stood, tho terri.
Die abyss yawning ut my feet That
brute Brown-Was 1t yawning when
you got there. or did 1t start after you
arrived?-London Punch.
lkey-vot's der shtrangest ting dot
ener happcnet to you, fadtlerY Mr..
Isaacs-A fire dot hat lasd year In
Delaney Shtrcct. lkey-vot vas deere
shtrange npoud dot? Mr.. lsaacs-l
wasn't expcgdlng it.-Puck.
Il WONDER" said the young man.
whether there Is much money to bu
made by writing novels" "SOine. per.
Aaps," replied the professional amnn.
uensls. but not rs much rs by typo.
writing Observation-Disclosures Star.
Drusilla-l did not see you ut the
Vanblunt reception last night. dear
Dorothy-No: but hoped to be able to
go. up to the last moment. but was
prevented. DrusiIla (swectly)-Yes:
know the Invitations were limited
Puck.
First Artlst--Did you paint Stamp
the tragedinn. In that tragic role yet
Second Artist--No: that's on. Firs
Artist-What's the trouble? Sccon(
Artist-Well. he'd assume the pose nj
right. but couldn't keep lt-therc WASH
any applause.-Puck.
count. I shall want little luncheon
after the thcatcr." 'Yes. mon angel
Eet is quite propaire. But may 1 asl
one small questiOne:" Certainly
What Is it?' AT wheech restauran:
does your worthy fadcr run bIll"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grymcs-Thc bride was quite n popu
lar girl. wasn't she? Gobang-Yes. In
deed. The Daily Whoop sent thei
sporting editor TO report It. He printed
u list OF rejected lovers half colum,
long under the heading. Among ThOs,
WHO Also RaR."-rruth.
"Who Is that neutrality-suspicious. in,
gentleman standing by tho thcater.
asked the guest. Col. Gore. from Ken
lucky" the clerk answered; but yol
shouldn't judge man by his looks. I
IL ., ral , . c,s
oh. no."-Indlanapolls Journal.
4 woman was arrested In BroklyI
the other day for wearing out q be,
slat on her oldest son. She was yer!
much surprised. and told the magis
trate that she had no Idea that 1t wa
u violation OF the law for a woman (,
chang her heir."-rammany Times.
"Our new neighbors are very polite,
said Mrs. Fcrkasie to her husban,
when he came home at night. "Ar,
thcy" ''Yes; I sent to borrow thei
hadn't one. but II I'd wait awhile they'l
send and buy One."-Harper's Bazaar.
"Well. what's your kick nOw!" asket
the manager. as the sOubrcte entered
his office. "Six feet nine inches" sh'
replied promptly. Consider yourself
engaged for my summer extravagau
ga" he returned quickly; "that's two
inches better than last year."-Chicagt
Evening Post.
She-I understand that Miss Kroche
played on the piano at the reception
last night. Did they appear to cnjo!
her performance! He-Oh! immense
~. Ii was the most enjoyable time o
the whole evening. Everybody wa
talking away as II they would spill
their thrOats.-BOstOn Transcript.
Algernon (who has invited himsel
down for a days shOOting)-Hull0
Tom. What are those tickets tied OF
the dogs collars for? Kceper-Well
sir, you see. the Squire remembers you
last days shootin, and thought you hat
better know the value of the dogs be
forehand to save future unpleasant
ness.-Fun.
Mans Interest Enemy.
''Sin Is always mans bItterest en-
a,,vp Urites DWIGHT :. NonI,, 4,