The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
The Judges Burlgar.

Judge Crabtree, having that day
succeeded in collecting a bill against a
man which he had never expected to
get, felt on particularly good terms
with himself and the world in general,
and, furthermore, wes perfectly will
ing that the whole world should know
it. o
I'm strongly inclined to think" he
remarked, as he critically observed the
gathering ash on his second cigar,
that my worst fault has from the first
been that of undertaking myself. 1
have always been a much ADLER man
than I have given myself credit for
being. I'll settle that matter next
week. he said to me. Come, 1 an
swered, shell out. or I'll secure a writ
of enUOy extraordinary and minister
ptentpotentiGry and settle you' And,
as I expected, tho roll of those words
just completely fAbbergasted him, and
he shelled out then and there. If /
hadn't been so modest I think I should
have got on better"
Yes, observed Major Dodge, "mod-
esty is your besetting sin. There is not
the least doubt in the world that ifyou
could always deal exclusively with men
like this one, who don't know the diff
ference between a pug puppy and an
ocean greyhound, that you would get
along g%loriously. Men OF that stamp
do occasionally knuckIe under to men
f yours"
did I ever tell you," went on the
Judge, not deigning to notice the 9th
er's remark, show I outwitted the bur-
glar when I lived at Syracuse Z"
The question was put to a vote, and
it was decided that as far as they were
aware, and they generally remembered
the Judges stories, he never had told
how he outwitted the Syracuse bur
glar; so he went on:
II suppose the burglars at Syracuse
are among the brightest in the profes
sion. 1 don't pretend to account for
this; I simply state it as a fact. They
are aclear-headed, energetic, intelligent
body Of men, quick TO take up with
new ideas, and fertile inventions, and
withal they are liberal and broad
minded 80 For instance, a few years
ago, instead Of crying out against time
locks as cruel and unjust, in the way
that many Of the profession did else
where, the syracuse burglars welcomed
the time lock as an inevitable step in
the scientific progress Of the age, and
set about devising a way to circumvent
it. The reault was that in a few months
even the stem winding, split second
tins lock had no terrors for them,
which, to my mind, is conclusive evi
dence that they put real genius into
their work. But, as you will observe
from my simple narrative, n Of the
mos able OF them fell before me.
II had been down at Cortland on a
case which kept me late. Ga the way
up the train collided with a COW and
delayed me further, so that I did not
arrive in Syracuse till past 1 o'clock,
and it must have been almost or quite
2 before I turned into the street where
l lived. It was a fashionable part of
the town, where the houses we're gen
| orally large and stood some distance
! back fron the roadway, with well kept
! Ia YES covered with shrubbery, trees,
i fountains and cast iron animals from
the leading foundries. 1 was proceed
ing up the gravel walk when / noticed
something in the moonlight at my din,
Jag room window. I stepped into the
shadow of a cherry tres (embIem of
George Washington, and saw that it
wos a man with a short ladder. I in
stantly knew that it must be either a
burglar or a book agent. The chances
seemed to be in favor OF the burglar,
and it was very clear that he was
about to go through my house. My
first thought was to call for the police;
then 1 remembered that there we're
never any Of these worthy beings in
that part Of town at such a late hour.
1 vas on the point Of setting up an
cutlery anyhow, and if I had done so I
should have made the startled Rtmos
phere vibrate; but it then further oc
Cured to me that it was customary in
our neighborhood, when we heard a
citizen yelling 'BurglarsI or making
any similar heated nocturnal remarks,
for everybody to turn over, ard cover
UP his head with the bed clothing, and
relapse into further soothing slumber;
so 1 refrained from any vocal effort
whatever. That my shouts would
probably brighten the burglar away