The times., 1897-09-12

Tor they both shook hands and everybody
seemed satisfied.
There was full house
The girl &c emed In crea luck. She had
a royal flush all the time which was bound
10 out. She was bird, and every time
sue caiied her partners hand he showed up
iKe little man. / got interested In tile
game, thought didn' unde rstand the rules.
There WASH t any chance To chea for every
one was piping them off lively. The girl
was dead game sport and had her aunty
ON hand and never was shy at any time,
ihen the dominic Jollied them some more
and told all the folks new rule that
Knocked me. 1t was something about a
pair bea ting three of a kind or a full house
In this game. Then the paIson told the
guy beside the girl To pony up. He was an
obhging chap, and went down into his jeans
anu fished up ring and put it on the gir's
finger. Hully gee, IL was a sparkler, and
ringer for fair. That guy was a real
sport and coughed up gamy. Then thefoiks
ali leaned back satisfied while the dominic
congra tulated them, and said he was proud
to know them.
noticed the parson took the kitty.
l wanted to be in that game myself at
first, but I'm glad now | didn't, for /
would have staked all had against that
girl, including my heart for she was bound
to come out anyhow with the flushes.
the tough reporter was more used 10
doing reports of poker games and prize
fights than he was To fashiona bic wed
dlnSs ana IL was currently reported that
he had obtained his place ON the strength
of being the original Chimmie Fadden.
lie had done his best to describe that
wedding, but the editor-in-chief inoaned
pitifully as he thought what the Belgian
diplomat and the blue -bIoodcd Baltimore
y mi
about 1t. In fnrlorn misery he turned to
the obituary column, where another note
worthy social event ought to be. If all
the rest OF the reporters had gone off
on tear lie had some hopes that the
obituary editor would be on hand. He
found the following:
The funeral of the Reverend st. Paul
Bradstreet, ID. D., who crossed the par
iihe curing short session last SATURDAY,
Doomed by powerful backer, w no evil
denuy wished to take MIN out OF the sneeu-
latlVe into the gilt edged investment class,
was held at Ascension Church today, his
DIVINITY partner ana correspondent making
an excellent statement for him.
a great number OF people, very evil
IDENTIFY bulls on Bradstreet were present
Inc fine rise OF Bradstreet stock was not
however, attended with any unseeInIy
disorder or rioting. There We're music ana
other evident bull manipulatiOns, and the
Whole movement was characterized hy the
absolute inactivity, or, at least, very feeble
efforts OF the bears. Ir there were any
present, IL must have been plain To them
that this was Bradstreet day.
DR.. Peters, Dr. Braustreet's correspond
ent, In his statement attested To the fact
that Bradstreet stock is all preferred
and siit-edged and DOW aLove par, and to
the Tact that the reverend gentleman never
passed hundred, and has never had anv-
thing crooked in his management. H e closed
with the very comforting statement that
his books may all be thrown open without
fear TO the comptroller, as there have
never been any buCket-sbop methods in his
business, and his business capacity and his
earning capacity have been great. He had
been member of the exchange since the
age of thirteen, and always did business on
the board.
Then the editor r-in-ciiief dived hap-hazard
into the sheet and struck the stock market
column. 1t read:
To Make Lamb Hash The hest authori-
ties say that lamb hash should be made
In bucket. The lamb is fleeced. cut up
ana afterward salted down and pIckieu.
When the lamb emerSes from the pickle
lamb at all. This dish might be called
lamb surprise IL 10 excellent on a cold
day.
When mar keting In hot weather, be
sure to buy sugar. 1t is sometimes used
nowadays for making soup, and In that
case Is often combined with oil dressing
Do not buy gas tips. They are ex-
pensive and apt To be without founda-
ton.
Soup stock should always be watered,
preferably with hot water.
Pork is lively especially the Tazor-back
hog.
butter is strong. Don't buy it.
Hops are quiet and not likely TO rise.
Molasscs is slow.
Net increase VIII be fashionable this
fall, trimmed with dividends.
Menu for the Day Cracked dollar wheat,
bearsteaK and pota Toes preferred, au gratin.
The edftori in-chief glanced at the tot
tom Of this column and saw that it was
signed Aunt Rachel"
Grai bing tile paper with both hands the
editor-in-chief rushed through the wind
ing passa ees which connected his sactum
with the report ers' room. From that room
came duh hum of many voices. The re
porters had broken over all rules W hen
they be held the result Of their efforts, and
were all talking at once.
who liz the double deda sled dickens
wrote this?f' howIed the tough reporter,
waving paperaloftand pointing franticaI-
1t was intended To be report of q prize
fight of unusual interest, for W hlch tickets
had been obtain ed with some difficulty and
great expense. 1t spoke Of the chiaroscuro
Of the arena, Of the torsos Of the com
Ia tants, ard the inartistic modelling OF
the winner.
L did" said a dreamy-eyed young man
with PaGerewski hair and mild blue eyes
And YOU saw it?'' exclaimed the tough
reporter you saw Kangaroo Pete get
in that last body blow that Knocked
out in the fourteenth round?''
No said the musical critic, 81 didn't.
[ was there only a few minutes and didn't
stay for the last act F"
"oh-h-h, my only unit Maria, what
did ! ever do to deserve this?" groaned
the tough reporter, arranging his hair
ITO think l missed 1.-THE
only fight for a year that had any ginger
in 1T tie one that half the sports ia town
were betting their last dollar on why,
with what l know about the Kangaroo
I'd have had roll of bills this minute
as big as your head, you yellow-haired,
bow legged, h-pronse-Ine, meditative
poetic dream of a dahlia, youl Oh my,
ny, my, this Just makes me sick" And
the tough reporter sat down on a desk
and put his head in his hands.
The dramatic editor was dancing ex-
cit edly up and downin corner and sa wing:
Nov what in the world did you call
the ballet the chief mourners for, and
say that the deceased looked very beau
tiful, and the shroud was made Of white
satin, and half hidden under a bower
of rnSoS and thp l1UdertaLar ar-;dantI,