The times., 1897-06-06
SQUAN CREEK FOLKS.

1
the biggest haIs in hand and showed 'em
the error of their ways sunttin dreadful
| would hev happened to the hull town fur it's
| wiekedness. Everybody lied ore OF less,
| even TO the women, but the two boss liars
was Bill Henderson and Jonas Green
| tried TO equal them for awhile, but IL was
4 no use I'd go out and sit down iii the
| sun in the daytime to think up lies, and
/ I'D lose half my sleep at night for the same
reason, but my lyin' Was no comparison
/ IL was the same with half a dozen others,
| and though we kept on lyin' we had 10 take
| back seats. 1t was which and tother De-
| tween Bill aud Jonas, and l never could
| make up my mind which was the slickes5
| liar. At night, when Dozen of US got To-
! gether in 81 Smiths saloon, Bill would
| walk TO the door and look at the weather
| and cum back TO say:
! II guess we're in fur another sich spell
/ OF weather as we had in 1862. None
| of you felers wasn't here then, but
was, and fur LAP days the wind hung in
the east, and never shifted pint. That
| was the sezun when SO many CLAIMS crawlei
| ashore and died that they was stacked up
| twenty feet high on the beach fur hum
| dred miles or more.
Everybody would look serious and sol
| enn, and then Jonas would throw up his
| arms and yawn and say:
"Boys, I amt feeIin' very chirky to-
night I guess 1 strained my back when
| tucked that whale this afternoon
What whale?'' sez Henry Shoemaker.
| why, the one that cum into the bay
| aud grounded on my osster-bed. Didn'a
| you fellers see the rumpus? l was dredgin'
| away when l heard him spoutin', and JEST
| as | looked around he teched bottom
| thought ia captur' him and send him to
| the New York acqUariunI, but he gimme
| sich a tussle fur two hours that had TO.
| let him go. He was sixty feet long and
nonstrous stout, and hurt him so that he
| will probably die in day or two I
| think IN put a pitch plaster on my back
| when 1 sit bome.'
| Then Bill Henderson would feel that he
had been Quilted, and must do sunthin' to
| git even, and he would begin to cough and
sDeeZe and finally say:
THAT reminds me OF that ERE whale
caught off Barnegat i'll Tie fall of 1872.
/ was six miles off the coast when he riz
uI close to my boat, and grabbed himby
the lip. He was ninety-two feet long and
as stout as a twenty-horse-pOwer Ingtne.
but | hung right TO him and tOwed MIN
ashore. 1 got seventy-eight barrels OF lie
out o. him, and sold it fur S35 a bar1.
didn't strain my back any, but felt aleetle
tired in the right shoulder fur an hour or
two
Then Jonas he'd bev to tell another
whopper to even up things, and so iI
would go and it was hard to say which
was the biggest liar Sich lyin' as that
might hev bin excused, but they went
a heap further Bill he'd go down to
the fsh-touse and meet Jonas and LOOK
at him in a sad and sorrerfuI way and
finally say:
'Joras, I'm sorry fur ye. but 1 hope
yen bear it ike man.
What's up?'' sez Jonas.
''As / was cumin' by your house your.
boy william fell off the fence and
broke his neck I'm blamed sorry about
it, and I'll see to the burial if you want
me to-
Jonas would rush home TO find it all
lie, and a day or two later he'd locate
Bill in some saloon and 20 runnin'
in to say: y
Better git home as soon as We kin.
Bill fur house is on fire and the family
all burned up.''
That would skeer Bill fur few mnits.
and then he'd go to work TO think up 8
bigger lie. This sort o thing went on fur
two years, and il got so that everybody
lied, even about the commonest things.
Then Providence couldn't stand it no
longer. 1t brung things around so that
Bill and Jonas went out crabbin' one day
in the same boat They set off airly in
the morEin', and up to 4 O'Clock in ths
afternoon they hadn't cotched a crab.
They Jest set thar and tried TO outIie each
other. All ola sudden. as they was thinkin'
up more lies, sQuall struck the boat and
upset her, and both Inen reached a mudk
bank to find themselves four miles from
shore and nobody in sight. The tide was
out and the mud knee-deep, and il didn't
take long fur them boss liars to realize
that they was in bad fix. They started
in to lie some more, but soon gin it up.
They stood thar fur two hours, hopin'
boat might cum along, ana then the tide
begun 10 rise When it got as high as their
knees Bill seZ 70 Jonas:
Jonas. we've brung this on to our
selves by iyin'."
We hev, BILL" sez Jonas.
''The tide will Iise Ugh 'nuff to drown
rs, and we hain't got over two hours TO
live. Do you think we Kin be furgiven
fur our lyinn'?''
I'm afeard not, Bill. If il hadn't hin
fur your lyin' should hev remained a
truthful man. i didn't want you to git
the start OF me, and so l had to lose my
soul.''
Il was only lyin TO keep even with you,
Jonas; but it ain no use 70 jaw about it
now. We shall never see our wives and
children agin, and 'taint no Use to except
to go to heaven
Cant sunthin' be tiid?'' sez jonas after
awhile, when the tide was breast-high.
''Mebbe they kim sez Fill, as lie lcoks
around. IF we was to promise never
co tell another lie ourselves, and to dis
courage lyin In Squan Greek, mebhe our
lives would be spared. Ar We willtn'
10 stop lyin' if L amp
1T viii cum powerful hard, but I'll prom.
ise.''
''Then shake hands on it, and Wen look
fur Providence to deliver u.s.
They shook hands, and half an hour
later, when the tide was up to their necks,
a lumber sIoop cum sailin' into the bay
and rescued them 1t was clus shave,
and them liars were so skeert that they
held to their promises. II was a mighty
big chance to lie when they got ashore,
but they Jest stuck TO the truth and let it
be known that they We're agin any more
lyin' and purity soon great change s0t
in In three months you couldn't hire
man to Iie even about fish, and today the
people are so truthful that when Ezra
Sommers 1icks his wife or Sam Taylor