Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-21

wouldn't hesitate q minute if it came
to choice between little better sup
per and good deal better music. We
knew that, and we felt as if we might
as well lay our hands down and give up
The game. There was a fellow there
from Kentucky. though. and the day
after the announcement of the import
ed band came out he strolled in at sup
per time and threw his hat into the
corner with one of his most effective
blue-glass-country salutes. We re-
turned the compliments of the evening
and he sat down at the table.
"'How's the PATTY comm on? he
asked.
1--WE groaned.
"'Oh,' he said, you all amt got moh'n
enough ingenuity to suhcomvent o
kitten! If one O. you gentlemen II he
good enough as to place himself undah
my directions give yo' my honah that
we'll have the only ball in this heah
town.
well, perhaps we didn't jump at the
offer, and, after he'd picked out his
man, we made him tell what mis- plan
was. I'll tell you how we carried it
out. The next morning we all went
out looking very gay and cheerful; quite
q contrast to the glum set'we had been.
Whenever anybody gave us the razzle-
dazzle, begging your pardon (the apol-
ogy was in the Poets direction) we
well, we gave them the ha! ha! and
looked so blamed superior that the
town couldn't make out WHIST was up.
When we ran across one OF the ladies
whom we had invited to come-not that
we had omitted to ask any of them
we were as dashing as we knew how to
be. We wanted to know how many
dances we were going to have with 'em
and all that. They couldn't make us
out quite, but they gave US to under
stand that our name was Dennis be-
cause, to be sure, of the lovely music
that the other gentlemen were import
ing for the occasion. Hadn't we heard
of it?
"We laughed at this; laughed loud
and long, much to their bewilderment
and finally we found breath enough to
ask them if they really believed in that
fake story of an imported band. oh,
sure they did! At which we laughed
again, and then pitied them. Finally,
when we had them at the proper point,
we swore to them that no band was
coming, that we knew it, and we were
willing to stake all our future chances
as entertainers on it. Well, they
hedged a little then, promised to come
to our party if the band didn't turn up,
and that was all we asked. Our Ken
lucky cavalier had agreed to see that
the band did not turn up"
"How did he fix that?" asked the
Boys Own, and his tone spoke evident
regret that this theme wasn't all that
could be desired for a story for the
young, else could he have made copy
Of it.
"Easy! easy!" said the Cow Puncher.
carelessly. "It was the simplest thing
in the world. We learned that the band
was to arrive on a way train which
passed our town at nine o'clock in the
evening. About seven o'clock the Ken
tuckian and his companion got on their
horses and rode quietly out of town.
They went to another village, ten miles
or so down the road, where the train
was due about $50. They don't run
lightning expresses for the local traffic
out that way. When the train came in
our two fellows boarded it, found the
band promptly, greeted them with a
jovial welcome, told them it was their
station, and hauled them off and into
q big wagon which they had all ready
there. The Mexicams didn' treally know
where they were, and the KentuckiaIl
fooled them completely. He and the
other fellow got on their horses and
started with the wagon out ON the road
to our town. At first they thought
they would start in the opposite direc-
tion, but they didn't want to miss amy
more of the ball than was necessary,
so they took their own road.
When they were two miles out Of
town the wagon broke down. My! that
Kentuckian was sly devil! He worked
it Just right When the breakdown oc-
CURED they made i show of examining
the wagon and took the occasion to
remove several other bolts besides the
one they had fixed originally. Then
they told the Mexicans that they, our
fellows, would have to ride on to place
near by and get something to fix the
wagon with. They told the band to
just sit there quietly until they came
back, and with that they spurred up
their horses and We're off like the wind
for home and the dance. They got
there almost as soon as the crowd did"
"Then You got the crowd?"
"Well, did we get the crowd ?" repeat
ed the Cow Puncher, waggirg his head
with pride. "You never saw such n
landslide as there was when that train
came in without bringing any band!
The party simply melted away at the
other place, and it wasn't five minutes
after the train had gone out Of sight
before 1 was dancing my first waltz
with a-well, il may be that time and
distance enhance her charms, and any
way see CLEAN i'm the Poets eye, and
/ know he'll make copy out of my dam