Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-04-16

LUIS Olu uihb rat NsWh ehN sH'
prescher went on.
In Ave minutes more a bald person
OF more tnnn middle age, with mucb
suppressed excitement, revealed him.
sell about the mid lie OF tho r0om.
"Preaoher,p he called oui, ~ don't
want to Interrupt you, but them
things you call ssrchIighis--did
hear right when thought you said
that when one is showed up IL "a
tower y u can read q paper Jour miles
ava ?"
"Yes, cir. Oh, yes" said the smil.
Ing rtavers.
"Proacher, 1 don't mind sayin' you
lie."
Travsrs looked startled, and he was
more startled when the audience broke
out Into applause. He was shocked
and sosndalized, nut he WAS relieve
to see old Martin Nipple, the president
Of tue board OF trustees, rise in his
seat, for he expected = prompt tebuke,
The rsbuke came, too. But alas, II
was not as expected.
"Preschsr" the president said In
solemn and sorrowiul tones, Minnie,
Minnie, tickle'-sn' 30 on, as you well
remember 1t was wit. L thought at
fret you might be ailiL' an that these
mere things you have said might be
The result OF some sick Uess. When you
said that there big spygises Ia Cali
iorny had brought the moon within
thirty mile Of the yesrth L groaned In
spirit. The idll The moon ten mile
nj hsr than Market Lake. Why,
blame 1t all--exouse them kind Of Ian.
gusge, my friends-if that was true we
could all trade at the moon instea1 Ui
havin' to haul them extry ten miles
through the Snake river bottoms,
where dust is eight foot deep In tu ~.
mer. OF course 1t was lie. Tnsn
that lamplight story about wire, an
that thing OF tslkin' a thousand mil
by use OF baled.hay matsrisl! Pshaw!
All them l would ha' been willin'
to set down rs the outgrowth OF your
lame iung, but when you gel up am tc l
about there bein' light 90 strong that
mAn can resi paper four mills
away, that passes forgiveness anu
mercy. Four mil! Why, q news.
paper wouldn't look AZ big rs = postage
stamp that distance. All my daugh.
ter, who has good eyesight, can do is
TO read the paper when Its sixteen
inches or 80 away. Fur mile! Four
-gentlemen an' lAdiesD--turning to
the audience-"by the rights vested
In me L adjourn this meetin'. The
church trustees will meet in solemn
session right away aA' right here"
Twenty minutes later the board o
trustees by q unanimous vote passed
the following resolutions:
"Whereas, the preacher, William
Travers, has declared things which
any fool would know ain't 80;
"Resolved, That said Travels be dis.
charged ana degraded fotthwitb;
"And, whsrsas, said statements
having been made in a church ami
therefore bsing likely to be give credit
by the unthinkiDR;
s"Resolve1, That this board OF trus.
tees hereby cancels said statements
aud announces TO all whom these
presence may come, greeting, that
nobody knows how nigh the moon H.,
but 1t Is mighty long shot further
away than MRrke. Lake; also thai
them Telephones, wire.lights and par.
ticulRr the big, four.miie reading
light, is declared unconstitutional anu
Incorrect, And that there Amt no such
hinge and never will be-"
The preacher had left town before
morninff came, and to this day there
10 q boycott against scieace In til.
settlement of Hencoe, lar up In Fro.
mont county, lIsho.
But, potent rs Hencos was in dsclar.
Ing against the strange things which
are not understandable, II 10 not safe
for other people to be equally positive
iu the came kidd OF decentralization.
Before this wesk 10 over we may all
be seeing aitshipr, anu real ones, too.
80 don't put yourself on record.