Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1897-05-28
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HOW ureAuIully STOUT tnc geuerul Is
gettlngr Yes, isn't II fortunate! 9th
erwise he wouldn't be able to wear all
his medalsw-punch
Mr.. New Hub--What does 1t mean
when bride promises 10 obey Airs.
New Hub--Simply that she prefers not
TO make scene Puck.
"Is that a good hen, Uncle JOSH "A
! good hen?" said Uncle Josh, why, that
ar hen lays eggs as big as hailstuns."
Detroit Free Press.
She-What a little mouth your young
lady friend has! 1t doesn't look large
enough to hold her tongue, He--t
doesn't.-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Newed--Was l nervous, dear,
during the ceremony? Miss SplteGirl-
Well, trife. at first. darling, Drt not
after William had said yes,-Tru.h.
Mrs. Ton-You used to say ! was the
light of your life Mr., Ton-Yes, and |
suppose that's why you are so easily
put out now we are married.-Judy.
A ray of hope The Bride-rm so
worried about Fred's cold! Her Moth
er-Still the majority OF cases OF cold
In the head terminate favorably PUCK.
Barnes Tormer-Talk about your
frosts! Why, boy came down from
the gallery and wanted his money back
because he was afraid to stay alone
Life.
She-LIt must have taken great deal
of persistence on your part to learn to
play the violin so well. He-lt lid. |
had to go constantly armed for i've
years.-Life.
But we cannot live on papa" protest
ed the savage's bride to be; "he Is
dreadfully poor" I'VE can wait uatil
he Is fatterw said the cannibal.
troit Journal.
An old woman quite repellent comes
in. DO you think you can find nus
band for me?" she asks. AgentPer-
haps--if some blind man comes in.-
L'Illustre de Poche.
Did you divide your bonbons with
your little brother, Mollle?" Yes. ma;
ate the candy and gave him the mot
toes. You know he is awfully fond of
reading. - -Pick.Me-Up
"You poor schoolma' ans are wocful'
ly underpaid." "0h, don't know.
have taken enough chewinggum away
from the children to last me three
years" Journal.
"Ah, my poor man." said the benevo-
lent old lady. 81 suppose you are often
pinched by want and hunger, are you
notr' "Yessum and by de cops. Gin.
cinnati ommercial-Tribune.
"And are the divorce laws so very
liberal In your section 2" "Liberalf Say
They are so liberal that nobody ever
heard Of a woman crying at wedding
out there. Detroit Journal.
He-Miss Bellacour claims to belong
to a very old family. She--Well. she's
justified There are six Of those girls
and the youngest Of them must be a
least 35."-Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Chlnk has hit on plan to keeI
, her husband from smoking In the par
} lor." What did she do?" "She hunt
) the portraits OF her three former hus
l bands here."-Chicago Record
Bachelor-Do you think man vii
have bad luck If he gets married OIL
Friday? Benedict-oh, don't think i
: makes any difference whether It's Fri
day or not.-Yonkers Statesman.
, "Truth crushed to earth will ris
a again." quoted the earnest man
d True" replied Senator Sorghum; 'bu
= in many cases, not until after the ref
cree has counted ten. Washington
: Star.
She-Tell me, dearest, do you reall.
tell me all your thoughts? He-Cer
tainly. my darling; more than that
/ even. Every day tell you hundred
of things without even thinking. An
swers.
The Farmers Would you b
willing to saw some wood for you
breakfast? Fluent Fontleroy-It woul
be useless, madam. My teeth are no
as good as they once were.-Cornel
Widow.
80 you think with the bishop tina
the crowd at Carson was not compos
ed of average Americans" "Of cours
| do. The average man was too har
up TO go."-Clncinnati Commercial
Tribune.
1T is very hard to learn to ride b
cycle?' asked the pretty girl Of he
cousin VIII, who had taken three LEI
! sons. We'll" said VIII, ruefully
q "when you hit the ground 1t Is."-
Washington Times.
Jinks (at party)-I don't see what
the matter with that pretty woma
over there. She was awfully flirt
a while ago and now she won't hay
ANYTHING to do with me. Stranger
have Just come in. She's my Wife,
Scottish Nights.
'0Then why did you encourage mel
he demanded, fercely. Tears spran
to her eyes. Pray, forgive me-" sh
entreated. 81 know | got mad whe
you asked me to be your wife, and tol
2 YOU never to speak to me again, bI
am sorry. | do not love you now.