The Topeka state journal., 1897-08-26
.ioBBED AT GRASS VALLEY.
The Editor of the Arizona Kicker and
Some OF His Experiences.

The Editor of the Arizona Kicker and
Some OF His Experiences.
The story made much of in the last issue
of our esteemed contemporary, to the effect
that we we're mobbed over at Grass Valley
the other night, is not a canard. We were
at Grass Valley, and If being egged and
shot at and chased for four miles signifies
mobbing then we were mobbed. We were
invited to go over there and deliver our
celebrated lecture on " Man-His Perfeo-
tions and Imperfections.' OF the 400
men at Grass Valley we don't believe there
are three perfect ones. There are more
knockkneed, squint eyed, humpbacked
critters to the square foot in that town
than anywhere else in America, and we
had the sand to say SO when we reached
the tImperfections" in our lecture. Other
lectures would have lied about it and
tickled those slabsided kyotes half to
death, but we gave 'em facts and came
near losing our life in consequence. Four
teen eggs hit us in chorus before our
wheels began to revolve. and it seemed as
If every man in town had a shot at us as
we were clim bing into the saddle. How
many mounted and followed after we can
not guess, but our mule realized the situa-
tion and made no jumps of less than IA
feet No, it is no canard. We were mob
bed and driven out and we sban't visit
that town again until we are tired of life
and ready to hang.
The news of the sudden death of Major
John Williams fell like blow on the town
last Wednesday. The major returned
home late Tuesday night, drunk as usual,
but seeming to be all right, and Wednes-
day morning he was found dead in his
bed. As men average up out this way the
major was good man. We early discov-
cred that he fed from the east on account
of EN- nbezzlement, but even when he threat
ened our life, as he did on several occa-
sions, we never mentioned the fact TO him.
He wanted to run US as editor and mayor,
and berause he couldn't he was hunting
for us with gun bout half the time. We
had to shoot him on three different occa-
sions, but we always shot gently and with
no intention to kill, and we have the re-
ceipts to prove that we paid mis- doctor bill.
When his better nature prevailed, he was
our good friend and kept our demijohn
empty and was always in our debt for bor-
rowed money. We can't say that the soul
of Major Williams went straight from
Giveadam Guloh to heaven, but we do be-
neve that much of the rough trail was
made smooth, and that the change has
been to his benefit.
Mr.. Silas jackson of Pine Hill spent
Wednesday night last in the town lookup
of Giveadam Gulch, and next morning he
went home threatening a damage suit
against us as mayor. He got drunk and
fired seven bullets into the front doors of
the city hall, and as the city marshal was
not at hand we gave him the collar and
marched him off Mr.. jackson claims
that the first he knew of our presence was
when his heels struck a billboard at q
height of six feet from the earth. He con-
tends that he was acting in a riotous man.
ner, and that it was our duty as mayor to
have read him the riot act and commanded
him to disperse He will base his suit on
this, but we wish to inform him that
technicalities don't go in this town. We
have always carried copy of the riot act
in our vest pocket since being elected to
the mayoralty, but have never yet met
with riot which seemed too big for us to
suppress in the ordinary way. If we buck
up against something with four or five
good men in the front row, we shall stop
to read the act in loud voice, but if there
is only one man, and we can get hand
on his collar and our knee in the small of
his back, he's got to disperse without
any further forlnality. Mr. Jackson
shouldn't be oaptious over small things
III. QUAD