Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1897-06-03
PriSCilla'S ProbOsCis.

girls. The former was even beautiful
the latter might be more properly
described as VivaciOus and pretty
Miss Paulina has a nose slightly tip
tilted a mouth made to laugh with,
rOguish brown eyes, a dimpled chin,
a pink and white complexion, and the
most beautiful set of front teeth.
Miss Priscilla was a more sedate,
statuesque type. Her eyes were
sweet, but serious. Her mouth, beauti-
fully shaped, but rather adapted for
the sentimental than the humorous.
Her chin was not dimpled, nor was
her nose tip-tilted. They were the
mouth and chin of a Greek goddess
chiseled on the lines which Phidias
loved to embody in marble. Nor was
the Parian stone itself clearer than
Miss Priscilla's complexion. But it
had one drawback.
1t was a small drawback. To some
it might seem hardly worth mention
ing: Yet it made Miss Priscilla's eA-
istence a misery and her daily life a
burden. That beautiful nose of hers
in spite of its Hellenic shape and
Phidiasque proportions, that nose
which usually was white and clear as
the frieZes OF the Parthenon-Was
subject, in certain conjunctions, to
spells of discoloratoni. At odd times,
on various occasions-and those times
and occasions always the most dis
tressingly inconvenient-the marble
hue of her nose would warm into a
ruddy tinge; graduating in depth of
color adown the bridge, and shaped
from palish pink above to a hot
and flaming purple at the tip.
Now many people when they hap
pen not to be looking their best, when
violent exercise has made their COM
plexiOns sporty, or an ill-ventilated
dI aWirg-rOOm has caused their eyes
to apear dull and boiled, often remain
IL Ignorance of the temporary disfig
urenent and their happiness and self
appraisement are not thereby i'm
paired. But, unfortunately for Miss
PTiscilla's peace of mind, she could
never remain in ignorance. There were
always present internal sensations to
warn her of the external change. She
first felt mild sensation of warmth,
a sort of tepid wave, begin to circulate
through her nasal veins. From tepid,
the wave grew warm; from warm, hot :;
form hot, boiling; until the blood felt
to seethe and bubble in her nose at a
temperature we'll above 212 degrees
Fahrenheit And the more she was
conscious Of this distressing T@Dsa-
ton the more distressing and violent
did the sensation become.
Miss Priscilla had sought medical
advice, but had sought in vain. A
physician in Harley street, at
guineas, had afforded her no more re-
lief than had the family medical man
at shillings. The one had assigned
the affection to indigestion; the other
to tight lacing, and each had prescrib-
ed treatment in accordance with his
view Miss Priscilla followed either
set Of regulations most faithfully.
She abjured sugar, bonbOns, pastry,
made dishes, port wine, tea and a
hundred other fayorite foods; she con-
sumed vast quantities of camomile,
rhubarb, terebene, peppermint, sar-
saparilla, and lactopeptine. Both with
no advantage. She bought stays three
sizes too large for her, and even these
she laced so loosely that the silken
cords at the back, even at her fullest
expansion, were never taut. She
wore waistband into which moder-
ate-SiZed coal HEAVIER might have in
serted his fist. She even-for the ply
stefan had limited that this might have
something to do with it-she even
gave up carriers and adopted suspen-
ders. But to no purpose. Her nose
burned as heretofore.
Then. finding no alienation from
doctors, she took to dOctOring her
self with patent medicines. Innumer-
able well-advertised remedies became
a part of her daily diet. Never did she
perform a toilet without applying
some highly advertised lotion to hel
ncse. But they all failed. Whittier
compounded of arsenic, sulphur, milk
slycerine, honey or oatmeal, they all
failed. Whether costing half a guinea
or a modest siXpence, they all failed
Miss Priscilla was reduced to con-
dition verging on despair.
To aggregate her misery her own
and only sister-the being who, by all
natural laws, should have felt foI
her the most-evinced a shocking
want of sympathy with Miss Priscilla
She would treat Priscilla's nose as a
huge joke. 1t was to her a perennial
source of musement-somethin
handy to laugh about when no other
source of laughter presented itself AS
surely as they went out together to 6
function, so surely did priscilla say t.
her sister beforehand: Now. PauIina
if my nose begins 10 burn, for heavens
sake don't emphasize the fact by star
ing at me; and, so surely as Priscil
la 'snoSe did begin to burn, P2ulins
invariably contrived to catch her eye
and then tapped the tip of her owl
snub proboscis in expressive pan
tomime. On these occasions poor Pris
ella felt on the verge of insanity. TX
be conscious OF looking horribly I'm
becoming-and sure the Venus of MILD
herself would look unbecoming with
red nose-was bad nough. To hav,
this consciousness aggravated by tn;
antics of an unfeeling sister was al