The times., 1897-11-09

yator. Three months ago The Kicker had
a haIf-page illustrated article on passer-
ger elevators and editorially stated In
the same issue that any man with pair
Of legs under him who would take this
effete way Of beating the stairs ought to
be COR pelled TO wear a dress and bon
net We have undergone change of
opinion II the Blue Buzzard Hotel at
Giveadam Gugch doesn't pat in an elevator
this summer, we shall cease 10 chew our
fodder anu take cur uips at that caravan
sary. If one goes in the boys will gather
TO shoot it full OF holes but we shall be
there 70 argue FOR civilization.
We missed the free and easy manners
of tic Gulch atthe hoteltable in ST. Louis
and it was something OF strain Oh tie
neI.uus system, bat we came cut or &c
alive ana right side up, with our napkin
saov ed down in our eoat-tail pocket for
a h4ndK eTchief The waiter made a faux
pas il. passing US lotOf quill tCothpicSs
instead Of cedar silver, but as he lad
ne c. lived west OF st. Louis We did
hnt lay il up against him.
Called on the postmaster, as was our
duty, and We're well received. He had
heard Of our postoffice at Giveadam GHIch,
free-born American postmaster who would
lick ON stamps for any cTituer with whiSS
erson his chin ought to be ous5ed ttweuty-
four hours notice. He was also of our way
OF thinking in regard to shooting through
the general delivery window 70 attract the
attention OF the clerk. He cannot go out
and expedite the service, as We can, by fol-
lowing up the mail-carriers and uttering
shots, but lie is evidently hustler.
Also felt it our duty to call upon the
mayor. After a slight delay, we were
ushered into his presence, and he gave
Us a warm greeting. Exaggerated reports
OF the dongs ia the common council
chamber OF Giveadam Gulch had reached
his ears, and We were glad to set hin
right When We informed him that only
three of our aldermen had been wounded
during the past year, and that we had
not even been scratched by any of the shots
fired at us as presiding officer, his opin-
ion OF the far W est was much more favor
able. The mayor of st. Lonis does not
carry gun, and he could not throw a
lasso over a post ten feet away, but we
left his presence feeling that he was
a pretty good fellow. He may possibly
be our guest this summer, and though the
boys will shoot a t his plug Rat and russell
shoes he Will come out all right.
st. Louis is a large and busy city. about
800 times the size of Givcadan Gulch. We
know we shall be shot at for making this
statement but let 'er go. Gallagher, There
are more saloons, more stores, dwellings,
poker parlors, horses, mules. men. women,
children and dogs in st. Louis than Givea-
dam Guleh viii possess in the next 0, 900
years. We are about fly. bite compared
to it. Before leaving home our bump of
self-esteem was as big as a beer-keg. It
has now dwindled down TO the size of a
walnut, and is still shrinking. Two weeks
ago we were against civilization, even 10
patent corks in beer bottles Next week
The Kicker viii throw wide the doors and
welcome anything and everything, from a
shirt that opens behind to q Manhattan
cock k-tail with cherry in it. We have
cleaned up our guns and laid in 400 cart
ridges to help US out in our new de eparture,
and the erittar who tries % stop US must
look out for himself.