davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04
How He Wears His Hat.

When man wears his hat per-
fectly straight and nicely adjusted to
his head, you are safe in believing
that he has corresponding straight
forwardness of character. He is a
man to be relied upon-business-
like, and with well-balanced tenn
persment.
If hat slopes at the back, it's
wearer has good brain power: tilted
habitually forward, it indicates pre-
ponderance Of the material nature.
The man who places his hat on one
side is self-assertive. He has a big
opinion Of himself, and will support
it with his fist, too. He can handle
the billiard cue, and is partial to
cards.
Then there are some men whose
hats are always too large for them,
and were it not for their ears would
pretty we'll smother them. Such
men are usually as much wrapped
up in their thoughts as they are in
their hats. They are of philo-
sophie cast of mind. and live a good
deal out Of the world, for they are
generally trying to solve some
mighty problem mighty to them
that not one person i'm a thousand
cares an atom about.
Other men 60 to the opposite ex-
treme, for their hats are invariably
too small for them, and are just
perched on the top Of their heads,
the owners Of which are mincing,
affected individuals with, as a rule,
an inordinate love of dress and any
amount of self esteem.
The man who throws his hat on
his head anyway Is careless, happy
go-lucky, indolent character. He
generally has his hands in his pock-
cts, and you can see any number of
his genus lounging at the street cor
DArR.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

NIAGARA HOTEL GUEsT-This bill
isn't right. You charge me for look.
ing at the falls twelve times when
there were two days that l didn't
leave the hotel on account of rain.
Proprietor-Can't help that, sir.
The falls were there. You can't run
a hotel here and not charge for rainy
days.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

IT is reported that Professor Park
of Andover once preached In Kings
Chapel in Boston, which is a Unita-
rian church. A peculiarly anxious
friend went to him afterward, and
asked him if the report were true.
" 1t is," replied the professor. His
friend then eXpostulated with him,
which led the professor to reply,
"Why, ] would preach in hell. if
the devil would give me on invita-
tiOn -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

BABIES resemble wheat in many
respects. Firstly, neither are good
for much till they arrive at matu-
rity secondly, both are bred in the
house, also the flower of the family
thirdly, both have to be cradled
fourthly both are generally pretty
we'll thrashed before they are done
with.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

Now, Thomas" said a certain
bishop, after taking his servant to
task one morning, "who is it that
sees all we do, and hears all we say,
and knows all we think, and who re-
CARDS even me in my bishops robes
as but vile worm of the dust ?n
And Thomas replied, "The missus,
dir -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

A FELLOW was vending his way, a
short time ago, through narrow pas
sage when he met pretty, modest
girl. Pray, my DEAR" said he,
"what do you call this passage ?"
"Balaam's passage, sir, "replied the
girl. "Ah! then," continued the
puppy, " am like Balaam stopped
by an angel" "And l." said the
girl, pushing past him, am like the
angel-stopped by an ass
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

ITO man it is appointed once to
die," an appointment that isn't gen.
err!ly relished by the most officious
of us. We like to 60 on foreign mis-
sions, but on this one we don't ex-
eactly know how our credentials will
be received.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

LADY Ito dirty tramp)-Here's a
piece Of soap, and l hope you will
wash yourself with it and here is a
piece Of homemade cake to eat.
Dirty Tramp CRITICALLY surveying
the soap and cake)--Is the soap
homemade, too, mum?
"Of course not"
Ten, IL you don't mind, mum,
I'd rather eat the soap and scrub
meself with the cake.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

IT SEEMS as if life might all be
so simple and so beautiful, so good to
live, 80 good to look at, if we could
only think of it as one long journey,
where every days march has its own
seperate sort of beauty to travel
through.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

A FRENCHMAN says that love is
a disease that closely resembles alco-
hOlism." "There may he some
truth i'm that. / have noticed that
the gold cure is frequently etficaciOus
in both Diseases
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

A LOVING word is always a safe
word. 1T may or 1T may not he a
helpful word to the one who hears
it; but it is sure to be a pleasant
memory to the one who speaks it,.
Many word spoken by us is after
ward regretted but no word of af.
fectionate appreciation finds place
among our sadly remembered ex-
DreSSionS
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

WE try to create civilization by
law. Law is of no value or service,
except as 1t represents moral senti-
ment and moral conviction behind
and beneath 1t.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

No man is beaten until he gives
up. To stop trying is the only de-
feat. Many man owes success to
the fact that he never seemed to
know when he had been beaten.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

"WHY do you hate soap SOP"
asked the inquisitive lady. "I
DON'T" said Mr.. Dismal Dawson.
" / simply ignore 1t. We don't move
in the same set that's ALL"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

SKORCHER's perfect wreck"
What ails him ?"
"The doctor says he has bicycl
heart, bicycle head, bicycle face, bi
cycle eyes, bicycle teeth and bicycl
legs.o
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

MAMMA, rs dot nawful head.
ache"
Pm so sorry, dear. Shall | get a
bandage?"
"'Es, an put 1t wound my tom.
ach.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

HAwLEY was badly hurt last
Sunday"
How ?"
In some way he dropped Sun.
day newspaper on his foot and
crushed it,"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

A MANS wife is his best lawyer,
his best counsel, his best Judge, his
best adviser and also the cheapest
and most reasonable.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

THE joy of knowing that you are
little by little surmounting the OBJ
stacles that have been In your way
pays for all the worry incidental to
the process.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

HALO! What's wrong, old
felloW?"
Pm almost crazy. / sent a let.
ter to my broker asking him whether
he thought l was fool, and another
one to Miss WiIlets. asking her to
come for drive with me, and
don't know which Of them this tele-
gram is from"
/" What does it say ?"
"Simply 'Yes.'D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

"AH, Miss Nightingale, that
Winter Song was charming. 1t
carried me back to the days of my
childhood"
am so glad you like it,"
Why, l could actually hear the
cattle believing, the old Windmill
creaking and the discordant winds
bowling about the door.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

THE woman who marries a man
for the purpose Of reforming him
never wants for occupation after.
ward.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

If there were no women angels in
heaven most men would like 10 live
forever.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

LIFE, according to the Arabic pro-
verb, is composed or two parts !:
That which is past, drean,-and
that which is to come, a WiSh. This
is exceedingly we'll exemplifed in
the lives Of all of us. We regard
past experience as dream, and
worth no more consideration. Our
future life wish, is in no measure
regulated by the past, till we grow
so old as TO look to no future this
side of the grave. Then we say,
" If we could but live over again"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04
She Must Say.
SWEET HUSBANDS, INDEED, SOME
OF THESE MEN DO MAKE.


Where are you going?" asked
Mrs. Nagg the other evening when
her husband took his hat from the
rack in the hall and began hecking
the dust from it with his handker-
chief.
"Oh, l am just going out for a lit
tie while !"
L" Whereof
L" Nowhere in particular"
Oh, any place or anything to get
away from home, l suppose! 1t
seems to be an actual trial for YOU to
stay ten minutes under your own
roof. It's compliment to wife,
must say, when her husband takes
his hat and streaks off anywhere and
everywhere in the evening instead
of staying at home with her, and
here / work and slave from morn
ing till night trying to make home Il
cheerful, pleasant place for you, but
| might as we'll"
my dear, /"
Don't be guilty of the sin of
perjury by calling me your dear y
You act as if / were very, very dear
to you, | must say! Racing and
running off all over the country and
leaving me alone with my children.
If it was not for them I'd be only
too glad to die, and"
wish, my dear, that"
ooh, yes, of course you do! You
would only be too glad if did die I!
If you do feel SO, I'd try to have the
decency and manliness to keep it to
myself! Much real mourning you
would do for me if | did die |!
It's pleasant for wife, ! must say,
to have her own husband, that she's
worked and shaved and had four
children for, stand up and tell her to
her face that he wishes she would
die! l suppose if did you'd up
and marry again in six months,
and
I" Not by ID sight, | wouldn't !"
There, swear at me! | suppose
you'll be Knocking me down next
aud dragging me around the house
by the hair of my head! It's a
compliment to wife, / must say,
when her husband swears he would
not marry again if she died! It's
pleasant for her to be made to feel
that she has made married life so
unpleasant that he'd rather die than
marry again! That's my reward
for years and years of patient self
sacrifice and true devotion If you
had married woman who had not
cared anything about your comfort
and happiness, and who had not
tried to make your home cheerful,
happy, restful place, you might have
been justified in the conduct you
have been guilty of for so many
years, but l must say that"
You've been saying it for twenty
years, and"
"Go on! Revile me! Abuse
me to everything you can lay youl
tongue to! The time will come, Joe
Nagg, when you'll know just how
nice and cheerful and pleasant your
home was as compared to what i,
will be when your open cruelty has
made you IA widower, and there
he's gone and banged the door hard
enough to break the hinges! Well
| must say, if these men amt harC
to get along with | don't know who
is! Sweet husbands they make,
must say !"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

A CARELESS mason dropped a
brick from the second story of a
building on which he was at work
Leaning over the wall and glanclng
downward he discovered respecta-
BILE citizen with his silk hat jammed
over his eyes and ears, rising from a
recumbent posture. The mason, in
tones of apprehension, inquired,
Did that brick hit anyone down
there ?" The citizen, with great
difficulty extricating himself from
the extinguisher into which his hat
had been converted, replied, with
considerable wrath, " Yes, sir, it did :.
1t hit me-" "That's right" eX-
claimed the mason, in tones of un-
disguised admiration "noble man.
/ would rather have wasted a thou
sand bricks than have you tell me a
lie about it,"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

"I wILLtry," has wrought wonders.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04

Two f'reight-engines collidcd near
the Kentucky town of Whitlock re-
Gently. Both were pretty badly
damaged, ana one engineer was dis
charged for carelessness and disobe-
dience of orders. The funniest
thing about the matter was the au-
swer of the discharged engineer to
the other, who asked, "Didn't you
have orders to meet me at Whit
lock ?" Well, blast it, hain't !
met you?" said the engineer who
caused the head. on collision.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-04
NUMBER "a.

A PARSONS BLESsING.--m one
of tho rural districts a Georgia min
lister was invited to dine with citi-
zen who, though wealthy, furnished
his table poorly. When they were
seated the host said, "Times air
mighty tight, parson, an we ain't
got nothin' much ter set before YOU,
but, sich rs it is, you air welcome.-
Will you ask a blessing on what you
see ?" The parson, observing the
scant repast, lifted up his voice and
said, Lord, make us thankful for
what we see, and may we be able to
ma 1T when we reach for 1T. Let it
not escape us and prove Il snare and
delusion. Amen. Thank you for
the greens.n
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
A Philosophical Composer.

There has been discussion lately in some
of the German and Austrian papers over
the authorship of that everlastingly popu.
lar ditty known to English singing people
as How Can Leave Thee?" a lyric with
an unctuous sentimentality that has
worked havoc at innumerable college
promenade concerts and commencement
occasions. The song has been claimed for
three separate compensation Friedrich
Lux, for Friedrich Kucken and for that
gifted and half crazed Johann Ludwig
Bonner, who used to 60 about the streets
of Oldenburg until he heard q pianoforte
a-going, when he would calmly walk into
even an utter strangers house and play
superbly for hours at sitting, the same
Bonner who sent packing a largo and OK
pectant concert audience with the graceful
declaration, 1T is impossible for Ludwig
Bonner to play for such a lot of idiots''
Nothing less than ecclesiastical authority
has been called in to settle the dispute
about the song. 1t seems that Bohner's
own words decide the matter against him,
often as the air has been credited to him.
Aged Pastor Edmund Nicolai of Gotha
deposes before a notary that one evening
in 1862, while he and Bonner were play
ing duets together, there came through the
window the sound of "How Can I Leave
'Thee?' Pastor Nicolai Herewith congrat-
lulated Bonner ON the popularity of his
song. "No," answered Bonner sharply,
''tbat song is not mine 1t is by Organist
Lux Not long after aged Pastor Nicolai
asked the eminent organist II he had in
deed composed the song and was answered
in the affirmative by Lux, with the ex
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
TO A BIRD OF THE BoSPORUS.

Oh, "chaser of the wind!' Oh, Yelkowan!
If thou art truly one whose soul is lost
Pursuing meath an everlasting ban
Thy work of expiration, at the cost
OF fitting gayly through the gates OF
death,
With these thy comrades, that, like liv-
ing tlow'rs
scatt Serd q, at random by the breeze's
And freed from all the sorrows that are
ours,
Speed Ger the changing wave the live
long day,
Joyous Of heart and ever strong of
wing.
Fain would have thee point me out the
way
That led to thy delightful wandering!
How didst thou thus incur eternal blame,
Yet meet the mercy due to souls for
given?
Tell me thy secret and that sweet sins
name
That barr'd the door to ev'ry other
heaven
Save this bright paradise, with blue above
And blue beneath, 'twixt banks Of rosy
bloom;
Tell it to me that I may teach my love
To merit, ere too late, the lightest doom
Reserved as yet for the lost souls of man,
Oh, 'chaser of the winds!'' Oh, Yelko-
want
Violet Fame in New York Tribune
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
Gas Gold Is Tried"

1T is only the pure hearts that can en-
tdure unframed the tests and trials that
come in life. A lady picked up a ring on
the street and took it to jeweler to know
If it were of any value. He decided that
it was gold, but to make sure for her said /:
II will put it in acid. If real, there will
be no change; If imitation, the acid will
corrode and destroy it," The ring was
dropped in, the lady watched anxiously
and received buck her treasure uninjured,
only purer and brighter for the testing.
In this way our hearts are sometimes test
ed in this sinful world. Pure hearts will
stand the test and come out bright and
clear. We ought often to examine our
hearts to see if they are the pure metal
that can 60 through this world without
being corrupted. A pure heart is an in
valuable jewel.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
THE BULBUL OF POHICK.
Grim Visaged War Inspires Her to Follow
the Example of SapphO.

the Example OF sappho.
I am aware, writes the Bulbul of Po-
hick, that great deal of poetry has been
wrote about the war in Europe. But there
are many ways of doing the same thing
and do not hesitate to claim that nobody
has yet wrote on the subject in the way
that have, as may be seen from what fol-
lows, which | have entitled
DOWN WITH THE TYRANTSl
0 isles of Greecel o isles of Greece,
Where burning Sappho loved and sungl
I'll sing your praise in war and peace
With all my heart and likewise lung.
hope, gentle reader, you will excuse
The liberty of mentioning Sappho, took by the
muse,
Especially as you must all agree
The first two lines were wrote by me.
/ am painfully aware some people say
That Sappho did not always behave in lady
like way,
But of first class poems she wrote few,
So it must be admitted, even by the most
proper, of whom l hope I am one, that
some good she did do.
She lived great many years ago,
And may be slandered, for aught we know.
Let the mantle of charity cover her in these
versitcations,
Not to mention the statute of limitations
Some words of cheer Iwould fain send to you
Words Of cheer are at present this America s
boast.
They are generously given, even though they
do not happen to be what is needed most
Let us never forget as our friendly encourage
ment we bring
That sympathy does not cost any thing.
0 Athens, glorious classic town,
You are a city of much renown.
| If / had relations there, to visit them would
be pleasant,
present
We owe the land Of Greece very much
The Greek language, Greek fire, the Grecian
! bend and such.
Then three cheers for the Greeksl Yet confess
l could cheer
With more intelligent enthusiasm if they did
not spell their names so queer.
My heart is with them as l think of those
throngs
| Merrily caroling their battle songs.
| Yet l would be very glad
| To see the world stick to Napoleon and golf
and bicycle riding and other things we've
| had,
And not allow war to become what is called a
| fad.
Although for vengeance do not thirst,
hope that the sultan will get the worst
| OF it, For l understand that his wives are nu
| merous,
Which does not strike me as praiseworthy OF
| humorous.
| Surprising that more than one man were tc
marry,
For bigamy in Jail would certainly tarry.
And SO to be thankful endeavor
That am not running any risks whatever.
Washington Star.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
Clear the WAY

For the escape from the system of its
waste and debris, which, il retained, would
vitiate tho bodily fluids and overthrow
health. That important channel of exit,
the bowels, may be kept perfectly free
from distractions by using the non grip
ing, gently acting and agreeable cathartic,
Hostetter's Stomach Bitters. which not
only libera.es i'm purities, but invigorates
the lining of the intestinal canal, when
weakened by constipation or the unwise
use of violent purgatives. The stomach,
liver and urinary organs are likewise re-
inforced and aroused to healthful action
by this beneticent tonic and corrective,
and every organ, fiber, muscle and nerve
experiences share of its invigorating
influence. Unobjectionable, through, a
most genial and wholesome medicinal
stmulant, and owing its efficacy to
botanic sources exclusively, it is the rem
edy best adapted to the household use, on
account of its safety, wide scope and
speedy action.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
Through Pullman Service.

Denver, Colo, June Is, 1897.
Beginning July 1, the burlington
Route" will inaugurate daily through
Pullman car service between Pueblo,
Colorado Springs and Chicago in con-
nection with the D. & R. G. railroad as
follows:
Eastbound-Leav Pueblo, D. & R. g.,
No. 4, 5:35 p. m. Leave Colorado Springs,
D. & R. g., No. 4, 6:57 p. m. Leave Den
yer, Burlington route, No. 2, $3.50 p. m.
Arrive Chicago, Burlington route, No. 2,
500 a. m.
Westbound- Leave Chicago, Burlington
route, No. 3, 1890 p. m. Arrive Denver,
Burlington route, No. 3, 7:15 q. m. Ar
rive Colorado Springs, D. & R. g., No. l.,
lilo a. m. Arrive Pueblo, d. o. R. g.,
No. l, 1925 noon.
First car leaves Pueblo, going east,
July 4, and Chicago, coming west, July l.
THIS virtually makes through train
service from all D. IL R. G. points to Chi
cago, St. Louis, Kansas City, st. Joe and
Omaha; passengers taking D. & R. G. No.
4 can move into Pullman car at Pueblo
without leaving train. Through sleeping
car tickets on sale at Pueblo and Colo
RADIO Springs at same rates as are in effect
fro Denver.
Reservations can be obtained from A.
Jackson, G. A., d. & R. g., Pueblo; j. M.
Ellison, G.. A. D. & R. G., Colorado
Springs, or this Office.
GEO. W. VALLERY,
General Agent.
1O9Q Seventeenth At Danver Colo
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05

Connections with main line and
branches as follows:
At Antonito for Durango, Silverton
and all points in the San Juan country.
At Alamosa for Jimtown, Creede, Del
Norte, Monte Vista and all points in the
San Luis valley.
At Ealida with main line for all points
east and west, including Leadville.
At Florence with F. 4 @. @. r. R. for
the gold camps Of Cripple Greek and
Victor.
AT Pueblo, Colorado Springs and Den
yer with all Missouri river lines for all
points east. g.
Through passengers from Santa Fe will
have reserved berths in sleeper from
Alamosa If desired.
For further information address the
undersigned.
T.J. HELM, General Agent,
Santa 70, N. M
AK. HoornH, q. r. A.
Denver, Colo.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05

Yes sir! The most enjoyable trip
I ever took to New York was over
the Wabash. Only one change of
cars in st. Louis; the finest passenger
station in the world. Fine restaur-
ant and cafe. Got an elegant supper
for SO cents.
We arrived in st. Louis ct 900 p.
M, and left on the Wabash New York
Limited at 700 p. M, in the elegant
through sleeper. reaching Detroit at
9:15 the following morning. Niagara
Falls at 4:37 that afternoon, and ar
rived at New York, Grand Central
Depot at 1880 a. M, just the right
time to get breakfast and attend to
business.
OIL the Wabash is the route for
New York.
By the way just write to O. M.
Hampson, Commercial Agent, Dem
YER, for particulars. may have for
gotten something.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-08-05
West Bound
Read LIN
CHICAGO & CALIFORNIA LINE.

Train No. l westbound, carries through
Pullman and tourist sleepers to Los An
geles and San Francisco.
No. 2 eastbound, carries same equip
ment to Kansas City and Chicago.
No. and are limited trains and stop
only at principal stations.
No. 20 eastbound, is local train, stops
at all stations, carries through sleepers
Ell Paso to Kansas City; chair cars Ell
Paso to Denver, via D. & R. G. R. R. and
Trinidad through without change.
No. 81 westbound is q local train, car
ries through sleepers to Ell Paso, connect
ing with trains for Mexico.
For information, time tables and litera-
ture pertaining to the Santa Fe Route,
call on or address,
b. 8. LUTZ, Agent, Santa Fe.
W. j. BLACK, O.. P. A., Topeka.
City Ticket Office, First National Bank
Building.