Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-12-10
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Willie-Pa, what's the "Great Df.
vlde|' Pa-It's what comes after an
election.-Chicago News.
She latter the quarreD-And must W.
part forever, Harry? He-Nell at least
until tomorrow night, Maude.
Brggs-What kind Of a fellow Is vii.
lowsnap? Gliggs-I don't know. I've
only seer him when he was with his
wife.-Puck.
The Counts f%iancec-I received my
engagement ring to-day. Isn't 1t beaut
tiful? Her friend-vcry beautiful!
Have you shown it to the Count yet?-
Puck.
Jackson has an advertisement in
this paper which reads: Come back,
and I'll be good" "Has his wife left
himT' mo; it's the cook."-Chicago
Record.
II can tell you" said he, "how much
water runs ver Niagara galls to Q
quart" "How much| replied she.
1.-TWO pints."-Psttsburg Chronicle
Telegraph.
"Tell mc, dear, am I the first man
you ever kisscd?" "You are the first
one who was mean and suspicious
enough to ask me that question."-In.
dlanapolis Journal.
"Why is it that Chumpley always
buys another new gun at the opening
of the game season." Because the one
he had the year before never killed
neutrality-suspicious. Free Press.
us that young one going to stay
awake all nlghty" asked Mr.. Lush.
forth, Indignantly. "There is no right
for you to complain" retor:ed his wife.
"IIe inherits the habit from you"
She-What are those missing links
We hear SO much about? He-Oh, they
were some golf links that were located
in a certain Western town before the
cyclone struck it.-Yonkers Statesman.
Junior counsel (after stating easel
I think III client has a good cause Of
action. Senior counsel doubtfully)-I
can't see it; what is 1t? Junior counsel
He's worth fifty thousand dollars.-
Puck.
Caller-ln yesterdays paper you SAID
Miss Footlight was one of the most
beautiful women on the stage. Why
didn't you print her picture? Editor
We never take back what we say
Puck.
A man who suffered badly went to
consult q specialist about his afHiction.
The expert asked: do you stutter all
the time!' "N-n-n-no," replied the sui.
ferer, Il s-s-stut-t-ter only when I
t-t-talk.:
Har:iet-And so Fred Dullwich has
asked you to marry him, has he? Mar.
garet (sighing and blushing)-Yes.
night before last! Harrict-What' q
stickler he is for formalities.-Cleve.
land Leader.
Gabber-Oh, don't talk to me about
bicycles! I'm sick ut the very thought
of EN-. You couldn't hire me to put my
head into a shop where they sell the
things. Tibber--Tllat would be n case
of wheels within wheels, wouldn't itf
Traveller Ito the ferrynan crossing
the river)-Has any one ever been lost
in this stream? Boatman-No, sir: some
professor was drowned here last
spring. but they found him after look
ing for WI weeks.-Flicgende Blaetter.
Mrs. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES are you in
such deep thought about, John? Mr..
Crimsonbeali-I was only thinking,
dear, that all the men who have zone
in search OF the north pole seem to
have been married men.-Yonkers
Statesman.
"What, no telephone?' asked one Of
the regular callers mt the drug store;
''why did you have it taken out?" Most
of the people in the neighborhood got
to using it to order drugs from otheE
stores. l guess can grasp IL business
idea once in 81 w~hile."-Detroit Free
Press.
"If I had known" sobbed young Mira.
I'itz. that you would be such a brute
to poor Fido, | would never have mar
ried YOU" MY dear" replied MIR. Fitz.
1.-The anticipation of kicking that mis-,
cradle little beast was one of my chief
reasons for proposing to you."-Tid.
-
Bits.
Mrs. Jones-Why. John, you've shot
4 hen. Jones dndignantly)-IIen? That;
madam. is a Shanghai Buff-Cochin Leg.
horn partridge. that I shot near Il farm.
house; and, as it happened to be Il tame
one. and quite n family pet, had te
pay for it. Where did you cvcr get
your knowledge of hens. MADAME
Puck.
Tram-Td like a drink. but don't
suppose you'd want to change this 50
bill. Bartender Cbriskly)-No trouble
about change. Here's your medicine
Tramp-Th nss. All! That's good
whisky. Bartender-Eh! Lookee heres
This bill is no good! Tramp-Ies: I
said you wouldn't want to change it
New York Weekly.
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