Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-02-27
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Said Freddy Vane:
II am awfully glad to see Il rain,

can wear my $50 macintosh"
-Chicago Tribune.
Tommy-Oh, paw? Mr.. Figg-wellf
'How can a solid fact leak outT'-ln.
dianapolis Journal.
DO you think that all matches are
made in heaven?" Yes: except those
made at the seashore."-
aren't you giving your boy dancing
lessons at a very young age?' But
we intend him for the army."-Life.
Poak-The way Of the transgressor
IL hard. Joak-True; but the trouble IL,
It's generally hard on somebody else.-
Truth.
Friend-Do you always wait for in.
spiration before you write a poemi
Authorize. I always need ten dol.
lars.-Somerville journal.
rs the sail the only thing that guides
n ship?" asked the green passenger.
NO." said the mate. There are rud
der."-1ndianapolis Journal.
Her Father-Has my daughter given
you any encouragement, sir? Suitor--
Well. she said you were always very
generous Observation-Disclosures Ameri-
can.
II am hopeful that you will pay me
that $40 before the end of the week,
Smithson.' That's right. old man.
Be hopeful, but don't be sanguine."-
Judge.
II believe you men think more Of
your wheels than you do Of yopr
wives" "Why not? We can get an
improved make every Chicago
Record.
Il love to have you come and see sis.
ter. Mr.. Tompkins." "why, Dickle?"
"'Cause she never likes that candy you
bring her, an gives 1t to e."-Chicago
Record.
Fisher-Do you believe in hcredity?
Mann-Sure. Many a time I have no.
ticed that when man was rich his
son had the same tralt.-Cincinnat
Inquirer.
Miss wabash-So you come from
Boston. do you? That's where every.
body Is so cultured. isn't It? Miss Bea.
constreete--No; misunderstanding
Journal.
Blynkins-That fellow. De Soaaue
says some very dry things. doesn't III?
Wynkins-Ycs. I've heard him shy
''Don't care II do" repeatedly .-Balti
Siore News.
III poker Is our m tlonal game. then
he American beauty rose ought to bs
the national flower" "Whyw "Bo'
cause It has such royal fiush."-ChL
cago Record.
M.nnic--Gcorge said ought to 60 or
the stage. He said that he had no doub,
] would be II peach. Mamic-Are you
sure lie didn't say Cherry ?-Indian
apolis Journal.
do you think your son will &c,
through college:" "Yes. I have ever,
reason to believe lic will. He passed
his first football game splcndIdly."-
Washington Star.
TOmmy-raw. what IL n designing
villain? Mr.. Figg-Oh. the descrip
tion would apply to one Of these pOste
Indianapolis Journal.
He-Havc you heard my new song
'"rhe ProposalY" She-NO; what key l
Il In? He-Be mine-er. She--I will
(And now you can transpose It to tn
key OF "a fiat."-I.lfe.
"'Tain' allus dem az hab de mos,
said Uncle Eben. dat manages ter no
onto It de lOnges'. De cullud gemma
dom git bald nigh cz quick ez de whit
gemma n."-Washlngton Star.
Reed-.Al the original Jokes wei
written 1900 years ago. Wright-Wha
nonsense! Ill leave It to you, now. D
look a. II could be more than 200
years Old!-Cincinnatl Enquirer.
"You do not 60 out often to Dime
Airs. Waddingtony' "No. don't thin
the best dinner ON earth II sufiicle,
compensation for making ones se
agreeable for three hours At a stretch
Chicago Record.
Rusby-Our landlady Il one Of Il
most expert caiculators In town. WI
klns-Is she? Rugby-Yep. We ha
beans for dinner to-day. and she aske
me how many ! would have.-Clev
land Plain Dealer.
Professor--Say, Anna. couldn't v
just as well postpone our silver we
ding and celebrate II at the same tin
~ the golden wedding? ! don't like
be interrupted In my work so often.
Fllegende Blaetter.
Poor Dick Is gone! He was u d
voted cyclIst, wasn't he!" "Yes, !
ded! He left will stating that
was TO be cremated and used to he
out on our new cinder path."-I.oul
willie COurier-JOurnal.
Old I.ady-PoOr fellow! suppo
your blindness Is incurable. Have "
ever been treated? Blind Man--Yt
mum. but not often. 'Tain't many
likes to he seen going into a barroO
with blind Decentralization Time
Mrs. Spooner-Charles, do you THU
YOU would ever s,narry again! NJ
SDooncr-What, after having lived wi
YOU for ten years? Never! Mrs. Spoo
or would give something handsome
she only knew just what he meant
that.-LOndon Figaro.
Judge-Are you aware Of any mi
eating circumstances In your cas-
Criminal-Yes, your Honor; this is I
Nftieth time ! have been arrested
yagrancy, and thought that perha
we might get up little jubilee.-Ti
Bits.
IL don't see why YOU should insl