Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-07-19
PUZZLED THE LINGULSTS.

until the immigration people had
T found his baggage. But Schneider
said nothing, even though they put
him in the detention pen with lot of
Slovaks and handful of Liverpool
stowaways.
Schneider had arrived on the Ma
jestic, and he was sad. He really OBJ
jected inwardly to the loss of his
things, because he said so afterward.
But that was all subsequent to the fun
he had unwittingly with the immigra-
ton inspectors.
It is we'll known fact that these
immigration people speak more Ian
guages than you hear in two months
on the entire East side. Only once
have they been stumped, and that
was when Hottentot Bushman came
along with few labial gymnastics
that set a-guessing every man on the
! island.
While Schneider was moaning in
the pen Chief Clerk Lederhilger came
along. CHANGING to observe the mel
ancholy appearance of the man, he
turned toward him. Now it happen
ed that Schneider, besides having a
sort of Teutonic air, wore clothes of
German origin. So. naturally Leder-
hilger addressed him in German.
sSind Sic Deutsch?n he asked,
Schneider bumped up his shoulders,
spread out his palms and shook his
| head.
"Funny," murmurmed the clerk to
himself, 1T would have sworn to it,
too.u
And Schneider stood with curious
look upon his face while the Chief
clerk went after the French inter-
prefer. Presently he returned with
the French Inspector. Calmly and
confidently the interpreter strobe
smiling toward Schneider, and when
in range hurled out explosively:
"Etesvous Francais?"
Again Schneider shrugged his
shoulders and nodded negatively.
"Well, WE'LL" said the chief clerk.
''I'll just get the Russian interpreter
now. He'll fetch him, surely"
So pretty soon the Russian inter-
prefer came along, easy and pop sure
of getting Schneider down to a fine
point.
"Just you WATCH" said he, "I'll get
him"
"Hl," said he, walking up to the
moody immigrant, "Zawarte Pa Rus
ku hay. Redden Sic Yiddish?"
Schneider moved his seat hastily to
another part Of the room, where he
sat violently shaking his head. 1t
was painfully evident that he didn't
understand. 1t was also evident that
he was beginning to become alarmed.
BY this time all the other interpreters
had heard something was up, SO they
came streaming in by ones and twos
and squads, and up the stairs and
through the doorways, and one climb
ed over the gate. And all the while
Schneider's alarm rose higher and he
sat with look of great apprehension
upon his face.
'Just let me try him." said the Ital-
ian interpreter: "Hi-Sieta Italiano-
SIP"
Schneider bobbed his head mega
lively and protested with his hands.
Then they surprised him and shot off
a bombardment of polyglot questions
calculated to confuse the senses of a
polar bear, which at best is always
calculated to keep cool.
"Habla suited Espanol?" cried the
Spanish interpreter.
"Konne tolla Svensk?" roared the
Scandinavian.
'Thiggin thu Gaeldaedh?" piped a
man that had smattering Of Gaelic.
"Cmwvir fan ffacken?" was the tat
fly of the Welsh Inspector.
''Che pau muvish Pc Ruski?" yelled
the Polish interpreter" Che pau Pol
ish?n
By this time Schneider was backed
up against the wall with his hands
outstretched to ward off the horde.
"Maybe he's a Hottentot!" some
one roared, and red-faced man lean
ed over and screamed: xxi bobbiri
WALTZ" But then some one cried out
in English: "That amt Hottentot,
you mudhen That's Hindoostanee!"
Then Schneider began to yell, too.
CLAY" he cried, "what is this, any
way-a lunatic asylum or what? Lem |
me out!''
"Good laws" said the inspectors, |
''he's an Americana"
"That's what I am" said Schneider
land want to get out" And he got. |
What the Shakers of Mount Lebanon know
more about than ANYBODY else is the use of