St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1897-06-12
The riddler's Revenge.


the Hawkins generation of people
Lum ard Jess and Miss Monty. jess i
a farmer and nothin but a farmer
whilst Lum is farmer to some extent
and likewise also a fiddler. OF my own
individual knowledge Lum Hawkins has
been playin on the fiddle, more or less
for IS years. He never did play any
particular tunes and no music to speak
of. He never did play anything for Ger
tain. It is my own private and public
opinions that Lum H;snkins wouldn't
know ''Home, Sweet Home" from run
Niger Run" if he was to meet both OF
them right ont in the big road with
linen busters on. 1 don't honestly be
lieve he could take a crooked stick and
turn a tune. But Lum is fiddler all
the same. and he can twist more blood
curtllin, hair-splittin noise out of his
fiddle than any Twin mortal man any
where's in the Rocky Creek regions.
Old man Dave Hankins and his good
wife--the father and mother of Lum
and jess and Miss Nomy-they are now
dead and gone. In their lifetime they
use to bring action in self-defense oncst
in awhile and take out papers OF di-
vorcement between Lum and his fiddle.
They would grin and suffer and bear up
under the affection as long as they
could-till patience was plum wore out
and life a dreary drag-then the old
lady would levy on the fiddle and lock
It up. gently but firmly, in the big fam
lily chist, whilst the old man would give
It out to Lum, all in a family way, that
if he didn't shuck his dirty buds and
retire to bed he would soon feel the
heavy hand of fatherly chastisement, or
words to that extent.
But last fall when the old folks had
went on acrost-they didn't more than
reach the shade trees on the other side
before Lum had his old fiddle strung
up and screakin and squealin and
ecreamin to beat six bits. Every night
the good Lord sent Lum would git out
his fiddle and make the air quake and
tremble, whilst Jess and Miss Nomy
must suffer and be strong. They would
sometimes mildly suggest to Lum that
enough of a thing was gracious plen-
ty, and Lum would respond back that
he was free, white and three times
seven, and didn't have blame thing
to do but play on his fiddle and make
the time pass pleasant with him.
Tallow ana Pine R0suM.
Through the winter Jess and Miss
Monty they had grace sufficient to pass
under the rod and stand the strain
right tolerable well.- But when the
springtime come-when the days got
long and the nights got short-they felt
the need of rest from their troubles and
which. you understand,
Lum and his old fiddle murdered sleep
rs well as music.
So finally Mt last Jess felt like he
didn't have the grace and strength to
stand it any longer. One night last
along in the dead hours
he. got up he did and found Lum's
fiddle. He never played any music,
but he played hot weather with that
old fiddle. He told Miss Monty to fetch
him big hunk of tallow, and then he
lit in and creased the cussed thing
strings, bow and aIl-till by gracious
the talldw stuck out an inch thick al
over. The next night after supper
Lum put big bundle Of tobacco in the
rack and went right on down into the
chist and got out his fiddle. But when
he drug his bow acrost the strings she
wouldn't screak and scream blessed
bit. She was slick as soap and rs 81
lent as the graveyard down there at old
Cool Springs church.
And you mought maybe think that
under them tryin surrounding Lum
Hawkins naturally scorched the air in
sayin everything exceptin his Sunday
school lesson. 1t would raley seem to
me like that was mighty good time
Of year for Lum to pull of his coat and
spit in his hands and play for even il
it brung on another war. But he didn't
do that. He had all the experiments
OF a man that was sent for and couldn't
come acrost, looked like a native born
idiot for q few minnits, then put the
greasy thing away and sneaked on to
bed. In the main time Jess and Miss
Npmy they laughed till they cried and
stayed up late thinlkin and talkin about
how they had weaned Lum sfrom his
fd,lle.
Hut bright and early the next mornin
where was Lum Hankins? Down In
the woods right back Of the old Han
kins place, with that same broad and
IliOtic smile ON his face and his AZ ON
his shoulder. He put in he did and
clipped tremendous big pine tree. and
along indurin OF the day he caught .
lin cup full of soft pins rosum-which
The same he took it to the house and
hid it under the bed. That night some-