The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1897-04-03

Tom Protzman had another Of his
cratic fits on Monday and on open
ing the mail Jake Wharton found
the result. 1t was a large paste
board box addressed to Postmaster,
Morgantown, w. Va" A hole was
broken in one siie Of the box and
Jake began to investigate He found
lot of packets which contained ma
pie sugar. He was naturally much
delighted with the nice present and
began to open the box. The pack
cts fell out and each of them was
neatly addressed to some one else.
Jake got no sugar He fell over in
chair and the last that was seen of
him kind friend was tanning him
with an empty mail sack.
They say that it is extremely fun
ny to watch the antics of two of the
younger generation who are feeling
the influence of the beautiful spring,
gentle Annie. They are violently
rushing the same fair damsel and if
the rivalry grows much warmer blood
will undoubtedly be shed.
1t is funny how much eircumstan-
ces alter cases. Whenever a player
gets scratch in foot ball game
howl goes up and over the country
and people take great interest in de-
nouncing the game as brutal one.
Last week a student got finger
badly broken while playing baseball
and hardly passing notice was Ia
ken of it. Singular isn't it2
This is the time of year that the
small boy and the superstitious per-
sons avoids the hollow on the North
side of the University. The "hics"
are here and their penetrating aroma
is making itself power in the land.
The budding meds swagger around
as if they had personal supervision
of the entire planetary system and
take a fierce delight in being pos
SCISSORS of villianous odors. A favor
lite form of pleasantly with them is
to put various choice bits of anato-
my in the pockets of unsuspecting
visitors. Doc. Dancer is ON his ma
tive heath and his name it is Nc
Gregor during this festive season
and all the old jokes are being re-
vamped about this historic person
age. Doc. is a bigger man to the
average prep than the head of the
institution and his marvellous tales
never want for a circle of listeners.
The college base ball suits have
been issued and the song of the root
er is heard in the land. Manned
fingers galore are being distributed
but the dance goes on. By the way
isn't it rather peculiar to give a
man a position for which he is not
trying? Yet that is what real ex-
pert did the other day in giving the
probable lineup.
Spruce street may not be the
finest street in town but it is the
only one which can grow postmas-
tiers. If you don't believe this ask
Uncle Joe and Doc. Fitch.
Some of the younger generation
who think it their heaven sent mis-
sion to joke people have hit on a
marvel scheme to accomplish this
end. A spool of thread is concealed
under their coats and the end Of the
thread pulled through hole in the
garment and allowed to extend down
their backs. 1t looks like travelling.
A kind observer tries to remove the
blemish; the joker walks off and the
victim gets about forty feet of thread
for his trouble. Then every body
laughs.
1t Is said that some people got
their annual and only glass of soda
water last night.
Four little girls none of them over
thirteen were over heard yesterday
afternoon talking about an equally
mature young gentlemen. "Why,
lit is the first time he ever had a
GIRL one of them said and the whole
crowd laughed at the absurdity. He
must be extremely slow.