Daily capital journal. (Salem, Or.) 1896-1899, 1897-04-03
JOURNAL TX" RAYS.
Directed Upon the Oregon Politicians
and Public Men.


and Public Men.
In the hands of a receiver-pla yin
the nickel-in. the-slot-machine.
Women are bound to get thei
rights. It's shame they are not al
lowed to vote and play nickel-in-the
slot-machines.
One hundred dollars reward for the
man who will invent a public teat
that will kick man off when he mas
had enough.
or course, no Salem minister will
preach from Rev. Mathews texts
printed in April l JOURNAL. They
will find those texts no April fool
hereafter.
The Salem Independent heads one
of its columns as editorial COM
ment." Editor Fletcher ought to Ia
bel himselr: ~ am an editor" Ore
would think, to look at him, he owned
a brewery.
Whilst du den Hans Guckinsland
heute begleiten auf Seiner Reise?
Probiere es.-St. Joseph's Blatt. Nein
lieber Here; bite entschuldigen Sic
den JOURNAL Redackteur.
There are no holes in the big bridge
at Salem through which President
Wallace of the Salem Water company
would fall. But we warn the county
judge to keep off that bridge.
Oregon City physicians are quarrel
ling over diphtheria and disputing
each others diagnoses. There is no
instance of reduction on the bill.
Times Mo1ntaineer: Hon. H. w.
Corbett, our would-be senator, is still
hanging on the ragged edge of SEN
atorial seat at Washington, but he is
hanging on; that's all.
Max Pracht of Ashland governor of
Alaska? Why not: Gall must be
recognized.
How can Bro. Irwin, state superin-
tendent of schools, ever soccupy a
pulpit again if what Governor Lord
says is true? He will have to get
absolution first in some way.
A telegram says Portland is soon to
have "a Democratic morning paper.
There is to be competition for the
Oregonlan at last. Scott had better
change from Clevelandism to Repub
licanism.
The Roseburg Review prints fol-
lowing dispatch:
WASHINGTON, April 1.-Ex-Senator
John II. Mitchell. of Oregon, has been
appointed Ambassador to Mars, with |
instructions to aid in bringing out an |
inter-planetary agreement on the
financial question. He will leave on
the first train.
1t is feared Governor Lord will not
get any more praying done for him by |
Rev. Irwin, state superintendent of |
schools, and will have to rely entirely |
,on General Odell.
|
Representative Guilds Sheridan |
"Sun" says: There will doubtless be
an extra session of the Oregon legisla
ture. A majoriy of the members will
undoubtedly go to Salem to organize |
and pass remedial legislation, without
reference to the senatorial aspirations
of certain individuals, who may wish |
to block legislation in their own in
teTests.
The JOURNAL has not received any |
seeds or congressional records for
month. The government might as
we'll not exist as to cut off the supply
of those things.
-
The most curious publication in
Oregon is Lucy A. Mallory's "The
Worlds Advance Thought and Uni
yersal Republic" 1t advocates
abstinence from flesh food, and
teaches that animals have souls.
~**
Portland is certainly paradise for
gamblers and thieves and shady of all
kinds and variety.-Tomahawk. Is
that why your paper is so popular
there'
%*~
There is one discouraging feature
about the failure of the legislature to
appropriate for charitable einstitutions.