The record-union., 1897-05-22

Scalping expedition? When the morse
thief was about to be condemned to
death for his crime, he was asked by
the Judge what he had to say before
sentence was pronounced. "A man
must live, my lord" said he. Il see
no necessity said the Judge, and pro-
ceeded with his duty. Nature has
given many of us this tonsure, but we
do not think it necessary to procure
new scalps, a neat black skullcap an
swering all requirements.
A young man writing to me from the
Black Country informs me that "Pov-
erty is a relative term and depends up
on the constitution of mems minds 1t
is true I have always had enough to
eat, and have never borrowed money or
been in debt, but what of that? L
| feel that within me that makes me
miserable until l have seen Niagara
| and ST. Peters at Rome. / understand
| music thoroughly, theory and practice.
| but have never seen an opera! l want
| to attend the concerts in the Birming
| ham Town Hall, and for years have
dreamed of the Festival l long to
hear the great organ of st. Paups and
| to attend a concert at the Albert Hall.
| But these are all forbidden pleasures,
and this, sir, to a man like me consti
| tutes poverty" And after reading his
letter, strange to say did not feel in
clined to help him.
A SHABBY KIND OF BEGGING.
Here is a somewhat peculiar applica-
ton A man writes to me as follows:
Sir: Having a white (sic), who l
| may say, can neither walk nor talk,
Of 70 hnl, 70
Her and myself from the Workhouse?"
1 have before shown that some peo-
pie are quite willing to accept assist
ance in kind" but here is an individ-
ual who would prefer to take it in cash.
| The Secretary of a village reading
room, having applied to me for support,
l offered to supply the room with THE
Daily News" but in acknowledging my
offer he said he would prefer to have it
in money, 'if it were all the same to
mel"
"A widower with seven children in
forms me that he is desirous of marry
ing his deceased wifes sister, but that
she (prudent woman) declines to do so
unless he can obtain a situation with
two hundred a year; would I help him
to such a berth?
AS a matter of course the number of
applications for assistance to enable in
ventors to develop their ideas" is le-
gion, and l will content myself with
giving one example in the words of my
correspondent, who says: Having
made an extraordinary wonderful dis
coyery and have succeeded in perfect
ing an Apparatus l have invented for
the Discovering Lost Vessels and OBJ
serving by the papers that you are in
iterested in the promotion of the Arts
and Sciences, has induced me to hope
that you will pardon the liberty 1 take
as a work kSngman in addressing these
few lines to you in the hope that you
Will find the means to enable me to
bring my invention out. l will now de-
scribe what my invention will accom-
plish; by it's application even when all
souls ON board may Perish in the
Wreck. Authentic information can be
obtained of all future Wrecks, and the
Certain Fate aScertained, also the
Cause and date of the Disaster, and the
place where the Inflated vessel has
gone down, so that all valuable arti
cles. moneys, etc, may now be recov-
cred. as also the Vessel if found not to
be too much damaged" My CORE
spondent informs me that he has been
in communication with the Admiralty,
but that they will do nothing, and con-
cludes with this postscript: Il am in
formed by friend of mine that when
successfully brought out it would re-
alize by Royalty alone, at least t1OO-
900 a yearr' That invention still re-
mains in an undeveloped state.
A ACONSIDERATE CORRESPONDENT
How considerate some people are.
Here is a tempting offer from an un-
known correspondent:
Dear Sir: l venture to suggest that
you should appoint me your Almoner.
know that you are very busy man,
but l have an abundance of time on
my hands. and have been accustomed
to dispensing the charity of others.
Hoping to hear from you
So much for beggars of the middle
and working classes; the ordinary
street beggar belongs to an entirely
separate and independent organization.
He has a language and a system OF
his own by which he informs his fell
lows of the 'ratable value" of towns
and of the dispositions of individuals
living on his line of march. Official in
yeyti cations have shown that begging
has been the profession of the same
family for several generations in sue
cession. and although they always pro-
test they are anxious to work if they
can get IT." a very casual examination
of their hands reveals the fact taht
they never used them in manual labor.
Many of them manage to live uncom-
monty we'll A beggar once caued at
NV sisters house and declared, with
a, whine. that he was starving. My
sister offered him the half of loaf,
but he spurned this and said IN any
thi ng but a whining tone, I'm not
bread hungry"
1T would be possible to extend 1hese
experiences ad infinitum, but l VIII
close with an anecdote l once read OF
a rich NAN who too readily compiled
with der rands similar to those l have
described. and who came to grief and
poverty in consequence. His frlendS
made a collection on his behalf, and he
suenf a portion of the money in causing
A. monument to be prepared for own
grave On the monument was figure
holding a chopper in its hand, ana
this was the inscription beneath:
He who gives away all before he is dead,
Let him take this chopper and chop on ms
head.
WHERE HE FAILED.
He's a man OF vast achievements