Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1897-08-08
THE PARTISAN swAGGER SET.


the aponized shrieks Of the horrifed on
lockers reached him, he was placioly SIT
ting on the iron fender. free from danger.
This incident Is rot given 70 sho" 'n"N
the iron tenders are life-preserVeIs' hoi
does Il by any means prove that laoe'
1t simply proves that the boy III queS'iol,
was one of thirteen in his FANNY anu
that his ma wouldn't have shed tear
"a bn fared worse. If it had been an
onbv son and a boy who captured
Sunday-school chrome on every sapoath
tho napgled remains would nave peen
diHicult TO identify, and the floral designs
would have been expensive, even LOT lhls
blooming season. The boy, who escaped
IN the miraculous manner indicated was
not the least disturbed. After he hau
lii a cigarette he threw stone at cat
The instant a man gets inside a ball
mark he becomes inspired with the luea
that he is O. humoriSt, and forthwith
proceeds to say things which he-and ne
alone-thinks are funny. All during the
game he emits these sparks OF lmaglneu
facetiousness and chuckles in delight at
the brilliancy of his ideas. Now anu
then he looks around to see II his felIow-
rooters are convulsed with mirth, put
he finds each and every one or them oc-
cupied in Just the same way. The result
is a chaos Of misplaced w.t. which pro-
duces much noise and little Laughter
Many Of these scintillating gems are
bawled out at the players, who have a
most beautiful way of ignoring outside
remarks. and of concentrating all their
energies on chewing tobacco and the UNI
pire. Great is the game Of baseball!
1t giveth all men an opportunity to assert
themselves, and to wag their Jaws
Every rooter is In himself an encyclo-
paedia Of baseball knowledge.
A gentleman in this city recently had
| a business offer. which will forever pre-
clude him from complaining of hard times
to his wife. One day, when his finances
were low and he had summoned the
courage to tell his spouse that she
| couldn't go to the springs, queer-looking
| epistle reached him. On the letter-head
there was an advertisement Of dime
museum and "a grand aggregation OF
worlds wonders" The writer offered the
gentleman a salary of $500 a week anc
expenses. The man-of-small ns-who-
feared -his-wife marvelled greatly, and
was sore afraid lest the opportunity
should slip him. He wondered what
use he could be TO a dime museum, anc
pondered much and long. Finally ht
wrote for details. and, hoping to gain al
increase OF salary, no expressed objec
tions to associating with fat women anC
living skeletons and people who at
swords. The answer came by wire, ant
was as follows strictly first-class show
You are wanted as the 'Nineteenth-Cen
fury Wonder the man who doesn't wea
a crash suit and has never bought a ~
cent crash hat. Will offer 5000 per week
No unpleasant associations Among othe
wonders are the attorney who refuses
half the fee decreed him by the cour
for professional services in a case t
which he was assigned; the husband VIII
admits that he knows less about mar
keting than his wife, and the woman VIII
let her consort stay out all one nigh
without asking questions upon his re
turn" The gentlemen who had neve
owned a crash suit accepted the job. Hi
wife went 10 the springs.
THE IDLE REPORTER.