The record-union., 1897-08-16
OFFICIALS WE'RE HIS GAME.
He Thought the Portuguese Consul
Was a Whole Legislature.

Was a Whole Legislature.
There WAS hardy fellow named
Bronston who lived in a shack on the
desert claim just at the edge of the
Wyoming hunting grounds who had
a reputa ton for being about as handy
with his fists as the next conner. Brons-
ton had an especial dislike for the
dude hunters, and it was his boast
that in fair encounter he could best
anything wearing good clothes and car
rying fifty-seven pounds of variegated
ammunition. He was kept fairly busy.
The hunting grounds, despite the
presence of Bronston, became more
popular year after year, until finally
he had to be little more select in his
, operations, as there were altogether
I too many visitors TO allow him time 10
do the whole lot justice. He finally
announced that III future he was going
| TO whip nobody under the rank of Colo
mel in military life and nobody who
in civil life wasn't at least Mayor of
big town or a President of a railroad.
BY following this plan he succeeded in
filling his time comfortably without
overworking himself. He was uniform
ly successful until one day a party
stopped at his ranch and introduced
themselves as Eastern tourists Int
on doing some elk determination. They
asked if they might stop over night
with him.
Gentlemen" said Bronston. "do it
happen that there's a gineral amongst
you?"
No. there didn't happen to be.
"A Judge, mebbe, or a Vice-Presi-
dent?'
There was not. 1t was an unofficial
party The only man with anything
approaching an official designation was
a young fellow who was Portuguese
Consul in a seaport town down East
He wasn't native of Portugal himself
just a plain American citizen, who
had been appointed to the place be-
cause he had the time to attend to the
few duties.
Concerning a Consul said Bronston
refiectiyely, Il don't know. / never
heerd of sich. Doubtless mebbe it's a
responsible an honorable job
He was answered that it was.
Well" he suggested, 'mebbe7 he'll
do. Come out here in the yard, gentle
men, an the exercises will begin.'
They had no idea what was coming,
but BOnston explained briefly and the
young man seemed perfectly willing to
take his part in the melee, though the
others, terrified, tried their best to ar
que Bronston out of it. The desert
claim settler made a rush at his vic
tim and found he wasn't there He
had carefully stepped aside, and as the
mountain fighter thundered past him
the Consul hit him on the ear. Then
the Portuguese representative followed
up his advantage, and, leaping upon
the PROSTATE Bronston battered his
head against the ground until he had
worn hole in the hard soil He
picked Bronston up and threw him out
into the road, and then went out and
threw him back again. The Portuguese
Consul it may be remarked, had spent
the better part of his life learning how
to box and wrestle, and this was his
hrst opportunity to let himself out.
In an hour BroAStoD came back to
life. He wearily looked about him and
said; Gentlemen. did a dozen or two
supreme Court Judges sneak up while
wasn't lookin' an tackle me?" He
was told that no such thing had hap
pened
P'r'sps it was - State Legislature? 81
No, it was just a young man who
was q Portuguese Consul.
He drew a sad sigh Il wouldn't "a
believed it, he said. ''I had more con-
fidence in the Institutions of this land
OF freedom of ours. To think that a
man who has licked Governors an
States attorneys an Sheriffs an Con-
gressmen should be whooped till he's
half dead by furriner that can't talk
the langwidge of his own furrin coun-
try! Gentlemen. they amt no use bein'
patriotic no more: the republican form
of gov'ment is crumblin', an she's GO
in to fall Dog it all! I beat the day
lights out of a reg1ar United States
Senator wunst an here 1 am on the
broad of my back with two ribs broken
by emissary of despotism. The games
over, an the U. S. Of Amerika amt got
a chip to cash in.''-Chicago Record