Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1897-11-11
THE CAP'N'S COX'N.
BY W. r. SHANNON.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeSesas

Joeeeeeeeeeeeese
'Macgrigor Anstruther Calhoun, A. b,
Was as cool card OF the queens nayee
AS ever reused the hard. Portsea,
Or Painted Point.
But his soul was among the damned. We
Cos he took up rum and turned down
beer,
And frequent threw his inner gear
All out of joint.
But Cox'n Macgrigor Calhoun. V. c."
hTHERE'S no doubt he's very
diffrent chara'ter," observed
nv friend Chatty Mather, \. b. But
we don't want to sit in this fog and
hear about it. There's 10 verses to that
hymn"
So we went out. We had been to .
sing-song in a rough" house in Port
sea, and it was getting towards that
time in the evening when hilarious
spirits insist on using the table as q
platform and make grave attempts to
dance hornpipes on the mantelshelf.
But what's the song all about" 1
asked, as we walked up Queen street
Didn't 1 never tell We about that?
No? 1t starts here, too. This yer Mac
erigor Calhoun was in the Dooke, layin'
in the stream, when Cap'n Billy Bunson
hoisted his pennant on her. Fust gen raj
leave after, Sam-which was the tally
Calhoun sailed under in that ship
didn't get back when he ought. He
was adrift 491z hours, and then he ar
rove aboard in a waterman's boat, wild
one boot on, no cap, and a general tore
appearance. He limbered up afore the
skipper the followin' Thursday, a
course.
"'What's this? says the Cap'n.
Broke your leave by over As hours?
How's that?'
"'NIissed me train, SIR says Sam.
"'What hole of a place was you in
then, where they on'y runs one train in
two days?'
"London, SIR
"'Master-at-Arms, how many trains
from London in day" said the Cap'1,
turnin' to the johndy.
''The johndy looks 'em up. Nearly
40, sir
"'Did you miss all the so, my man?'
"'On'y jist, sir. Hardly to be called
q miss il wasn't. A sort of a nouter,
sir, should call it.
"Tndeedl Fourteen days ten A, and
stop his leave for month, Master-at-
Arms
Every good, SIR says the johndy.
But he's already habitual leave, sir,
(Only going ashore once in three
months.)
"Cap'n Bunson hung on a mint as
the beadle-which Is the same as n
1ohndy-spoke, and Sam took the op-
portunity to say he'd rather have cells
than 10 A.
THE Cap'n looked him up and down
for mint or two. Well, my man, he
says, we don't know each other very
well yet, but I think we shall. Of all
the impudent scoundrels I ever met
wild, you're the worst. You come
aboard In filthy condition after n
drinking turnout, and tell lies about
missin' trains-COn'y jist, sir whispers
Sam)-'and now you asst a favor! You
want to choose your punishment, eh2
Why, if you told the truth wouldn't
say ,ye You Ts miss IS trains, ana H899 " S0a
think of sendin' n chit off explainin'
that you're dead drunk and can't come
"'No, sir. Never struck me as any
good, sir says Sam.
"'Exactly. And yet you all know
that know what's the matter
eyes, sir
"sTry to tell the truth for the future,
then. And as you want cells, do seven
days of 'em in addition to the 10 A
"Sam done his cells, meditatin' deep
all the time, and then done his 10 a
mournful. It's very wearin' is 10 a,
while cells is quiet and peaceful. In
10 A, when it's your watch below, you
clean brass or paint work, or holystOne
decks, or take a rest for two OF thee
hours on the quarter deck, standin' nt
attention facin' the paint-work, and
two yards from anythink to lean
ag'inst. You eat under the sentry's
eye land eat rapid, too, because your
times short) sittin' on the cable-deck,
which is the windiest place in the ship.
It's fair torture of u punishment, al
though it don't sound hard IN par
lament, where they asts about 1t some
times. Your grog's stopped in both
punishments, and you mustn't smoke, a
course.
"When Sam next got leave he done
the usual-broke II. Instid of him, a
telegraph come to the Cap'n. That
mornin' the Cap'n was the most fero-
cious on the dcfaulters ever seen him.
lie gave 'em all the maxi'um punish
ment. He yapped at the officers; he
said there was court-martials still to be
bad; he swore he'd have hangin' at
the yardarm; or, as there wasn't any
on some ships, he'd put up wild a
david.
1--WE was all in the dark, n course,
about what had upset him. We thought
his noolaids at breakfast was on'y war
ranteds or cookers, and little thing
like that is quite enough to throw a
post-cap'n out o gear, l can tell ye-
But when Sam nrrove, SO hours late, as
usual. we heard diff'rent.
"Sam was put In irons at once, and
piled down below before he knew where
he was. He looked very hurt at the
johndy and asst him why he give him
this sort of thing, SO diff'rent to his
usual welcome. Where was them smiles
he knoo so well? he ast, and the johndy
told him it wasn't no smllin' turnout
this time It's mut'ny and court-mar-
tials,' hs says.
"'Ah. WELL says Sam, as they was
shuttin' the cell door, we can't all be
bloomin' well sotless. My pore headl
Sleep, gentle sleep. Rock me-
"'Did you send this?' said the Cap'n,
when he was brought before him The
Capn was tappin' a telegraph, and look
ing dark as-as-the double-bottom.
az certainly sent one, sir says Sam,
and quite sober he was by this time,
can assure vc.
",Read IT. says the Cap'n. rs that
itT
THE readin' on it was Blind drunk,
won't come. Yours respectful, NJ. "A.
Calhoun
"'Yes, sir, that's it, says Sam. Iguv
II to the landlord OF the Dog and Duck
20 send when my leaf was up, If was
too drunk to send it myself. But it's
true, sir, it's quite true. L can bring
witnesses to prove IT.
"The Cap'n nearly choked hisself. lie
couldn't get out sufficient words Mt
once. Might he be perished If ever he
met such Internal check, he said. Any
f.. ,,o,,1J l,,oy, ,roo t,-,,a STnlx' him