The Telegraph-courier. [volume] (Kenosha, Wis.) 1888-1946, 1897-09-30
RANNEY.

Uncle Sam Houston was discussing
the temperance question with his wife
one evening recently and there were
some points upon which they did not
entirely agree,
~ tell you,n said he, " the world
would be better without intoxicating
liquor of any kind, and for my part
don't want it in the house at all.
"But why not?" asked his wife.
Wine not, was the reply; that's
it exactly, wine not. Don't the bible
say wine is a mocker?"
" Yes, I know" persisted Mrs. H.,
who loves a joke, but wasn't it Paul
who said take little wine for the
stomach ache or something like
that?"
This was too much for Uncle Sam
and he shook his head and began max
inc preparations to retire when all at
once there came a report like unto a
giant frecracker shot off under a wash
tub, followed by two or three more in
quick succession.
" Burglars" gaSpeu BITS. II.
sEHired men and revolvers!' groWled
Uncle Sam, and grabbing lamp he
started in the direction of the sounds,
followed at a safe distance by his wife.
Arriving at the kitchen door and peep
ing in they observed several streams of
dark colored liquid on the floor slowly
creeping toward them. SURPRISING
scream Mrs. Houston exclaimed, " It's
blood, we shall all be murdered in our
beds fly for your ife" But your
Uncle Samuel is made of sterner stuff;
he has been long time in this country
and doesn't get scared at trifes; be-
sides, with his avoirdupois he couldn't
fly worth cent anyhow, so he adj
vanced boldly into the room, looked
around and soon took in the situation.
Then turning to his wife, in triumph
ant tone he snorted: "There now, It's
Just as expected. knew you'd come
to grief if you fooled with the dang
stuff" Emboldened by this outburst
Mrs. Fl. tiptoed forward gingerly and
found to her CONSERVATION and dismay
that several bottles of elderberry wine
she had been making had become too
exuberant and in working off its sur
plus spirits had burst the bottles. But
Uncle Sam was vindcated and all the
next day you couldn't have touched
him with a ten-foot pole.
H. Foote and wife, former residents
of Xenosha county, but now of Fort
Scott, Kan, are visiting old friends in
this vicinity.
By the omission of a word in last
weeks paper it would appear as if
your correspondent was the only per-
son summoned from this part OF the
county as juryman on the Pleva muir
der trial, when the fact is nearly every
man within radius OF three miles was
notified to be on hand, and each and
every one of them, except the twelve
who remained, received two dollars
and the mileage tip for their trouble.
Rev. Hunter, of Russell, is enjoying
a vacation and is visiting his parents
at North Dakota.
School District No. 2 begins the
term Monday, Oct. 4th. with Miss
Ethel Torrey, of Kenosha, as teacher.
Here is success to Miss Torrey.
Fritz Barter spent Sunday at Wau-
kegan. He has lately returned from a
bicycle tour through Northern Iowa.
Fritz is getting brown as an Indian
and about al untamable.
Miss Emma Derbyshire, who has
been in a critical condition for several
weeks, died Monday morning at s
o'clock at the residence of G. D. Holt.
The remains were taken to Newton,
Iowa, for burial.