The Dickinson press., 1897-07-24

au tuo OOCk 4oVlty is 8n1SGly.
Asked Him What His Chances Were.
No matter how persistent the impor-
tunities or how ridiculous the claims of
an applicant for office, it would bo cruel
to be anything but serious. Still, even
the president cannot always command
himself or restrain an occasional flash
Of humor. One Of the best illustrations
Of this was found in the anecdote print
ed in The Post about Captain Meredith,
the old chief Of the bureau of engraving
and printing, who has haunted the
White House ever since the inaugural
tlon in an endeavor to secured his old
place. But it is probable that Meredith,
instead of appreoiating the absurdity Of
the situation, did have sinking SEN
sation in his stomach when the presi-
dent innocently asked him what his
chances were and followed the question
by warmly congratulating him when
Captain Meredit.i answered in dazed
sort Of way that he thought they were
pretty good.
A Joke on Senator Foraker.
A few days ago Senator Foraker es-
corted place hunting constituent in to
see Mr.. Mckinley. The Ohio senator
had been on similar missions for q
week. Foraker has not had any luck
''to speak of, as David B. Hill would
SAY. in the matter Of patronage, but he
knows he earns the eternal gratitude Of
his constituents by making tho effort,
and failure does not daunt him. On
this particular occasion after the Ohio
senator had presented the claims of his
friend the president looked at him
quizzically moment. Then his face as
sumed q we'll simulated expression of
anxiety, which, however, could not
hide the twinkle in his eye as he said:
"Foraker, you don't look we'll. You
are working too hard. Why don't you
take rest?''
The Ohio senator was greatly amused
after he got out of the White House,
but his companion saw no cause for
merriment in the presidents anxiety
concerning Foraker's health.
Ben Butterworth of Ohio, now com.
missioner Of patents, used to say that
Mckinley was devoid Of all sense Of
humor, but this was at time when
Butterworth wasn't in a position to
fully appreciate humor. They were both
in congress-it was just before the
opening Of the memorable Fifty first
Both had aspirations for the speaker
ship, but the Ohio delegation in caucus
decided to present Mckinley as their
candidate. Butterworth thought Nc
Kinley took the Endorsement of his can.
didacy too much as matter Of course
and totally disregarded his (Butter.
worth's) claims, which, it goes without
saying, he considered quite as weighty
as McKinley's. 1t was after the caucus
that Butterworth advanced this propo-
sition touching MoKinley's deficiency
in humor.
Ben Butterworth's Illustration.
"Why," said Butterworth, "if Nc
Kinley and I were walking through an
orchard which had only one bearing
tree, and that tree had but two apples,
he would pick both, put one in his
pocket, take a bite out Of tho other and
then calmly turn to me and ask:
"'Ben, do you like apples?'"
Probably Butterworth' g opinions have
changed since Mckinley appointed him
commissioner of patents.
Picturesque Senator Pettus.
If any one word could describe Sell
ator Pettus Of Alabama, it would be
"owlish. +" Mr.. Pettus has only been in
the senate since the 4th of last March,
but it is safe to say that not day has
passed without a speech or remark of
some kind from him. Some senator's
like Wetmore, for instance-are content
to sit quietly in the senate chamber for
months at time Not SO With Pettus.
He has an observation for every hour of
the day. The chains of senatorial tradi-
tion do not bind him. He is free lance,
unshackled and untrammeled.
In appearance Senator Pettus is strik-
ing. He is man Of large frame, with
head Of unusual size. Upon his promi-
nent nose rests an old fashioned pair of
heavy gold spectacles with thick crys-
tails. His chin whiskers are especially
distinctive, and when he speaks they
wiggle and wabble like the week. wash
on windy day. In his oratory he is
distinctly Of the clerical order. He
crates in the style of the old circuit
preacher, uttering each sentence with
dogmatic force.
As he stands at his desk, clad in a
conventional black Prince Albert, his
large eyes peering over his gold spec
tacles, his long chin whiskers waving
to and fro and his voice rising and fall
ing with oracular utterance, he consti-
tutes one Of the most picturesque fea-
lures Of the senate
CARL scHoF1ELD