River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-01-28
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he conducted his business were
principally those yellow legends paint
ed on the fences in and about town.
But for the most part he took his
hobby seriously, watched the changes
of the moon with anxious interest
and subscribed for the Christian
Herald or Signs OF the Times with the
utmost good faith. In the Fall he
took periodic excursions into the woods
and fields. On these occasions he
observed the migrating birds, took
careful note of the habits of the
chipmunk and the amount of his
winter store, and examined the sheath
of the bass wood buds. The past
season he completed these observa-
tions as early as October, and COM
placent smile already began to frame
itself over his merry countenance. To
make assurance doubly sure, he arose
one morning at daybreak, took a
| spade upon his shoulder and following
short cut to a dewy meadow spent
full two hours in digging up the
garnary Of pocket gopher, to satisfy
himself that the stock of bulbs and
small grains collected by this provi-
dent rodent was unusually scant.
This done. he grew blander than ever,
and went about with the air OF man
on the point of springing a gigantic
surprise, only waiting for the sun to
cross the line.
And at length the sun went over
the tropic in great glory of blue sky
and with the south wind tanning the
earth into balmy slumbers AT this,
Harpup became radiant; his cheeks
fairly glowed with emotion and his
eyes emitted sparks like an emery
wheel. The signs had been unani-
nous in predicting a mild winter.
All the ballots of the Olympian gods,
thought Harpup, couldn't have made
surer verdict, and lie promptly set
about the humane task Of enlighten-
ing the public.
Warm said he to his wife, "my
dear, we shall have regular New
England. / may even say, regular
South Carolina, winter! We shall put
on the double windows, to be sure, ex.
cept on the chambers; but the coal
stove-no, my dear, never This little
heater shall suffice, and that, too
without the aid Of that trap of a
bungling STERN door,
"And / say, Sarah," he continued
pulling on his top-coat, and playfully
motioning his wife to poke in his
sleeves, ''you may add my great ulster
to that missionary box, ! sha'n't need
it, winter like this, and some poor
shivering Hottentot may have occa
sion to wrap his bones in it, and will
rise up and call me blessedr'
At this point his wife gently remon
strated, calling attention to the fact
that the Hottentot knew nothing OF
winter, even so mild one as heI
husband pictured.
Tut, tutm said Harpup waxing
dithyram bic" TIN keep the mosquitoe:
off. And we, my dear, should grow
generous in the thought of coal bill:
saved, Of outdoor excursions and q
free, open winter " And he FASTENED
off to break the good news to his
business friends who were already, a:
he himself remarked, working like
beavers against the coming of a hare
winter.
For days and weeks the weather
stood by him; Christmas came, New
Years, the fifteenth of January, ant
the sun was still aglow, and the wind:
for the most part mild and southerly
All the while Harpup went about
with the air Of a public benefactor
wearing his top-coat and gloating oyel
the thought OF one poor Hottentoi
protected from mosquitoes. He ever
wrote letter to the weather bureau
volunteering, free of charge, his in
valuable observations.
But at length there came change, &
killing change, and the thermometer
dropped to 30 below and remained
There. Harpup in utter chagrin
crawled out of his house, and will
blue fingers tackled up the remaining
storm windows. Then he sent an
imperative message TO the carpenter
the coal man and the hardwar,
merchant. This done, musingly, like
a man at sea without a compass
he pulled down his encyclopedia, ar
almanac and the last reports of the
weather bureau. Suddenly it occur
red to him, with start, that ia all hi:
observations and his fine deductions
he had not once consulted his friend
Holdoff, true believer in signs ant
an expert investigator. Without q
glance at the solid literature that
surrounded him, and leaving his wife
to deal with the carpenter, the Goa
man and the hardware merchant who
had all popped in at the same moment
Harpup made quick journey to the
downtown office of Holdoff & Co.
"Holdoff'' said he with some re
straint, abruptly coming to the point
''you're a believer"
"Ehr' said Holdoff, turning in hi:
chair and looking squarely at the dis
tressed Harpup.
Eyes," continued Harpup, with
still more restraint, you still believe
in forewarning providence-'that
: coming events cast their shadow be
fure?'"
"Oh. you mean the signs, the
weather signals" rejoined Holdof
somewhat relieved. Il didn't know
but you'd beel converted"
"Holdoff," said Harpup solemnly
II don't know but 1 have" and
he told his story with much earnest
ness. When he reached the great
coat incident Holdoff incontinently
roared.
"Harpup," he interrupted, "you're
wrong, all wrong: the signs are dead
against you. The only sure things
are the corn husk and the muskrat;
the husks were never thicker, and the
rats on Lake George never built
higher houses or heavier walls! If