davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
PlTH AND POINT.

One difficulty about seizing an
opportunity is the trouble experienced
in penetrating its disguise.
Not all philosophers are poor men;
but all poor men sooner or later come
to be philosophers.-Puck.
Most of us are inclined to measure
our own achievements by what other
people haven't done.-Puck.
ct believe the British national debt
is larger than ours" 'I suppose ii is.
Look at the Prince Of Wales's clothes" :"
Puck.
Fogg says he is immoderately fond
Of red hair, because it looks so much
better after it has turned gray.-Bos-
ton Transcript.
-"The entire history of
the world has moved in cycles"
Sprocket-"What make?"-Philadel-
phia North-American.
"What do the coal men do in the
hot weather, papa?" cit takes them
all summer to figure up their profits,
my son. Detroit Free Press.
"Your daughter Imogene is per-
feet Venus, Mr.. Duggins." eyes
Venus de Milo; she never does any
work with her arms. Chicago
Record.
Minnie-''I want to introduce you
to young lady-a very nice young
lady-and she's worth her weight in
gold" Bob-"Stout girl, I hope. -
Tit-Bits.
She-"Afiss Oldfeld has suddenly
become deeply interested in the play"
He" Naturally; it is in this act that
the heroine tells how she won her hus-
band. Truth.
Employer-"I thought you wanted
to go to your grandmother's funeral
this afternoon. Office Boy-"Please;
sir, it was postponed on account of
wet grounds. TRUTH;
''This won't do," exclaimed Mrs.
Box, excitedly, "there's thirteen at
the table" ''Never mind, NAV"
shouted little Johnny, ''I kin eat for
two, that makes it fourteen. Stand
ard.
Professor-"Say, Anna, couldn't We
just as well postpone our silver we'd
ding and celebrate it at the same time
as the golden wedding? L don'5 like
to be interrupted in my work SO often" "
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Miss Gotrocks-"Did you say you
were nearly related to the Ponsomby
family?" Miss Millions-"Oh, yes;
my sister once accepted Lord Ponsom-
by's brothers youngest son-but the
match fell through. Judge.
Mamma-"No, Johnny; one piece
of pie is quite enough for you.
Johnny-'It's funny; you say you are
enrirre - 1..7-4 -, 'aasH =. 1t prop
.rt , me
..,-.,. ,i. Jour-
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Little Feet,

Two little feet, so small that both may
nestle
In one caressing hand;
Two tender feet upon the untried border
OF life's mysterious land;
Those rose-white feet along the doubtful
future
Must bear womarl's load;
Alas! Since woman has the heaviest burden
And walks the hardest road.
Love, for while, will make the path be,
fore them
All dainty, smooth and fair;
Will cut away the brambles, letting only
The roses blossom there;
But when the mothers watchful eyes are
shrouded
Away from sight of men,
Aud these dear little feet are left without
her guiding,
Who shall direct them then?
Will they go stumbling b. IDLY in the dark
ness
Ofsorrow's fearful shades?
Or find the upland slopes Of peace and
beauty,
Whose sunlight never fades?
Oh, who may read the future? For this
sweetheart small
We want all blessings sweet.
And pray that he who feeds the crying
ravens
Will guide the baby's feet.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
WORDS OF WISDOM.
A stop in time saves pain.
OYerwork is thief of time.

A stop In time saves pain.
OYerwork is a thief of time.
Many let heaven go by default
There is no safe side in any kind of
sin.
Thought without purpose is like
seed spilled upon the ground.
The hand that holds the rod should
always be controlled by love.
Charity robs herself when she
frowns while bestowing gift.
Education, in this age, means cram.
ming in more than leading out.
Every great gift has germ of re-
sponsibility hidden within itself.
When there is coffin in the house
there is O welcome for the preacher.
Blessed is the man who knows how
little he knows of other peoples bust
ness.
It is doing that which costs some.
thing that strengthens the moral back
bone.
Nothing can make people go blind
any quicker than filling their eyes with
gold dust.
When the right kind of man is
taken out of the miry clay he knows
enough to stay out.
There is always hope for the man
who can be taught what fool he has
been by one mistake.
One finger lost in n buzz-saw will
do for most men, but fool will fool
with it again and lose two.
There is no admission into the
straight gate for those who are not will
ing to give up all that is crooked.
A wise man can learn something
worth knowing from q fool, buta fool
is made all the more fool by going to
college.
The 4act that there is so much stuff
that shines like gold, makes the story
of disaster one of the saddest chapters
ever written.-Ram's Horn.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Not n Raw usecrnit.

Philadelphia American.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
The Ostrich Lays Three-pound EGG,

The ostrich hen lays every other
day, and the egg weighs about three
pounds; it is q tasty and nutri-
tious food, however prepared, very
rich and excellent for making pastry
and cakes. 1t is generally computed
to be equal to two dozen fowls eggs:
but this must be on account of its. su-
perior richness, for, from personal ex-
pertinent, the empty shell of q fairly
large one exactly held the contents
of eighteen fowls eggs. It takes
about forty minutes to boil an ostrich
egg hard. The period of incubation
is about six weeks.-The Zoologist.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
How the Emperor Observed New Year

How the Emperor Observed New Year.
A recent number of the official
gazette of the Chinese Government
contains the following announcements:
"TLis day being the first day of the
new year, the imperial astronomical
board sends report to his majesty
that tile direction of the wind, coming
from the southeast, prognosticates a
year OF plenty and long life to men.
His majesty will celebrate tomorrow
by eating the sacrifcial meats with the
court ut 8 o'clock, and later on in the
forenoon will proceed to the Southern
Lake palace to pay the compliments of
the season to 81. I. NJ, the empress
dowager, after which his majesty and
court will return to the city"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
In Blossom Time.

In Blossom Time.
It's o my heart, my heart.
To be out in the sun and sing!
To sing and shout in the fields about,
In the balm and the blossoming.
Sing loud, o bird in the tree;
o bird, sing loud in the sky;
And honey bees, blacken the clover seas;
There are none OF you glad as I.
The leaves laugh low in the wind;
Laugh low with the wind at play;
And the odorous call of the flowers all,
Entices my soul away!
For oh, but the world is fair, is fair;
And oh, but the world Is sweet!
will out in the gold Of the blossomiug
And sit at the Masters feet.
And the love my heart would speak,
I will fold in the hlys rim,
That the lips Of the blossom, more pure and
meek,
May offer it up to HIN.
Then sing in the hedgerow green, o thrush.
0 skylark, sing in the blue;
Sing loud, Sing clear, that the King may
hear,
And my soul shall sing with you.
Ina Donna Coolbrith.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
HOW 1t Hnnpened.

soiled spooner-"How did you hap
pen to take the road, anyway, Sell
DUMP"
Seldum Fedd-"Ah! I was driven
to it by Fatel One time, when ] was
a CROWN youth, jest passin' trough de
pin-feather stage, a travelin' phrenolo-
gist came along and prognosticated dat
1 was sure to go to Congress some day.
In order to avoid such calamity, l lit
out from home, an have kept movin'
ever since, never lingerin' long enou Oh
in one place to git o residence. y
PuclS
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Eminent Electrician Disappointed.

It is hirdly possible that there can
be two more bitterly disappointed men
in the world today than Nicola Tesla
and Thomas A. Edison, if the two
comparatively obscure scientists who
have lately claimed the discovery of
method to make electricity from coal,
shall substantiate their claims. Both
Edison and Tesla have been lying
awake O. nights much of the time for
years to unlock this one of natures
secrets, and both of them, more than
once, have felt certain of rapidly ap-
preaching success, and yet the prize
seems to have been grasped by son1e-
body else.-Exchange
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Taking No Chances.

There used to be peculiar old
Justice of the Peace in Vevay, Ind.
down near the Ohio River, who enter
tanned very queer notions concerning
court procedure. On one occasion, af-
ter all the evidence was in and the
plaintiffs attorney had made an elabo-
rate argument, the defendants attorney
arose to begin his plea.
"Hold on there" exclaimed the
court. 'I don't believe I can let you
proceed, Mr.. Smith. I have a very
clear idea now of the guilt of the
prisoner at the bar, and anything from
you at this time would have o tendency
to confuse the court. T know the man
is guilty now, and I don't want to take
any chances. Chicago Times-Her-
aid
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
The Changes of Time.

"My son." said the retired mer-
chant, "as you start out in business
for yourself let me impress upon you
one thing"
"That honesty is the best policy, 1
SUPPOSE" replied the son.
"Oh, yes, yes, certainly. 1 would
have mentioned that, too; but what I
wanted particularly to say was that the
man who said in the bright lexicon Of
youth there is no such word as fail
hadn't taken squint at ar up-to-date
lexicon. New York Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
IrIdescent Glass.

Recent experiments have demon
strated the fact that piece of glass
may be made iridescent by flooding
with dilute solution of silicate Of soda
and allowing it to dry spontaneously
in an upright position. Washing the
plate in running water and again dry
ing rlay bring out the colors more
brilliantly, while blackening the back
of the glass will render them gorgeous
The film adheres tenaciously and can
scarcely beremoved except by etching.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR.'
.LAucHTER.PRovoKINo STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.

Tic aE.::lsr es the wo,ld-Not Raw Re-
cruit--The Perver,e sex-suburhan
yicissitudes-A Good Excuse-Posses-
sion-On the Tandein-Easy Proof, Etc.
srThe hand that rocks the CRADLE" said the
poet, "rules the world"
And once, perhaps, the statement had its
worth;
But to-day We give the medal to the foot
that works the pedal;
The wheelwoman now rules DER all the
Philadelphia American.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
TIRED.

For the faith that Is not broken
By the burden of the day;
For the word that Is not spoken
dearest words are slow to say;
Tor the golden draught unproffered
To the thirst that thirsteth on;
For the hand that Is not offered
When the struggling strength is gone;
For the sturdy heart that will not
Make pauper Of my need,
Friend, I mean some time to thank you,
From my soul, In truth and deed. =
Watt Some day, when am Drawer,
will do so-say SO. Now
(Ohi be tenderD I nm tired;
Ihave forgotten how.
Elizabeth Stuart Phelps Ward.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
A Strange Fish,

A strange fish was taken from the
Wabash river at Logansport, Ind, the
other day which is good deal of a
curiosity. Tt is fifteen inches long,
weighs about two and half pounds,
and has no fins on the back except n
small one near the tail. The strange
part of the fish is its mouth and
tongue. 1t has two rows of teeth in
the lower jaw and three in the upper
jaw, and two rows of large teeth on the
tongue, which is flexible. The head
and mouth of the fish resemble those
of bulldog.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
suburban Yicissitudes.

Physician-"Yes, madam, I have ex,
amined your husband. All he needs
is fresh air and exercise"
Caller-"Oh, dear! He never will
take exercise, and I know there is no
use urging him to. What shall do?"
Physician-"Move out of town into
the suburbs. Get some house that is
advertised as Five minutes from the
station. He'll have plenty of exercise
then, for he'll have to tramp for few
miles every day to miss his train. -
Tit-Bits.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
A Veil of Mist

Rising at morning or evening from some low
land, often carries in its folds the seeds OF ma
laria. Where malarial fever prevails no one Is
safe, unless protected by some efficient nedfct-
nal safeguard. lIostetter's Stomach Bittefs is
both q protection and remedy. Noperson who
fnhabits, or soiourns in a miasmatic region or
country, should omit TO procure this fortiytng
agent, which is also the finest known remedy Tor
dyspepsia, constipation, kidney trouble and
rheumatilm.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
An Impression.

'sDid that lawyer get clear view Of
the case?" inquired the litigant's
friend.
'eNo; I'm afraid he didn't. I told
him that my trouble was about money,
and he seemed to be proceeding on
the theory that by relieving me of
my money he would cause the trouble
to disappear. Washington Star.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Clear Evidence,

Judge-What's your name9
Prisoner-I'm Pat Murphy, your
honor.
Judge-Where do you liver
Prisoner-Sure, I don't live any
where, sor.
Judge Ito second prisoner)-What's
your name?
sI's Denis Mccarthy, sor."
"Where do you liye?"
"Bo ,rra, your honor, I live aext
door t Pat Murphy.-Punch.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30

War Song of the Greeks.
Sons OF the Greeks, arise
The glorious hours gone forth,
And, worthy Of such ties.
Display who gave us birth.
CHORUS.
Sons OF Greeksl let US go
In5arms against the foe,
Till their hated blood shall flow
In river past our feet.
Then manfully despising
The Turkish tyrant's yoke,
Let your country see you rising,
And all her chains are broke.
Brave shades of chiefs and sages.
Behold the coming strife!
Hellenes OF past ages,
Oh, start again to life!
At the sound of my trumpet, breaking
Your sleep, oh, join with me!
And the seven-hill'd city seeking,
Fight, conquer, till we're free.
Sons OF Greeks, etc.
Sparta, Sparta, why in slumbers
LeGhargic dost thou lie?
Awake, and join thy numbers
With Athens, old ally!
Leonidas recalling,
That chief of ancient song,
Who saved ye once from falling,
The terriblel the strongl
Who made that bold diversion
In old Thermopylae.
And warning with the Persian
To keep his country free;
With his three hundred waging
The battle, long he stood,
And like lion raging,
Expired in seas of blood.
Sons Of Greeks, etc.
Byron.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Indelibly Fixed.

"And you will never forget me?" he
asked.
She raised her eyes tremulously to
his.
"How," she asked, "cau I ever for
get him who called the night I wore o
a new organdie the first time? No,
Edwin, I can never forget you. De
troit journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
What Did She Do to Him.

Magistrate-Do you mean to say
such physical wreck as he is gave
you that black eye?
Complaining Wife-Sure, yer hon
or, he wasn't a physical wreck until
after he gave me tn black eye.-Tit-
Rits
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Some one had blundered.,n

''I defy any one to name an Ameri-
can poem so inspiriting," retorted the
enthusiastic lover of the British poet.
Mr.. Guild, who reports the conversa-
ton in his "Chat About Celebrities,
suggested that there was Holmes's
poem of "Old Ironsides. %
"Do you know the lines?" was de-
manded.
"Oh, yes! I declaimed them more
than thirty years ago at school,"
"Well, I challenge you to recite
odd Ironsides' and I will recite THE
Charge of the Light Brigade, and We
will abide by the verdict of the COM
pany as to which is the more inspirit-
ing"
"The Charge" was recited first, and
it was done admirably. At its conclu-
sion, after the applause had ceased,
Mr.. Guild began back in ga Metrical
Essay" in which the authorre-present-
ed the poem with an Introduction, and
then followed it with the well-known
verses, beginning:
Ay, tear her tattered ensign down.
sBy the time" he writes, 81 was
half through the first verse, I saw the
face of Commodore Boggs light up and
his eyes flash; Cash Clay, too, was
all attention The poets lines had
their effect. AS the declaimer ended
with
"'Nail to the mast her holy flag,
Set every threadbare sail,
And give her to the god Of storms
The lightning and the gale
the brave old commodore brought down
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
$50 "..AniiAL POEMS.
When They Were Recited "Old Ironsides"
Proved tile Most Inspiritins:

Soon after the close Of the Civil War
Cassius NJ. Clay, T. G. Durant, of the
Union Pacific Railroad, Commodore
Boggs, Curtis Guild, the secretary of
the Russian Minister, and two other
gentlemen, were guests at little sup
per at the Fifth Avenue Hotel, New
York. The conversation turned upon
Tennyson's "Charge of the Light Bri-
gade," which one of the guests de-
clared to be the most martial poem
ever written.
"Bah!" exclaimed one of tie COM
pany, half in jest, ''The rhythm is
faulty, and some Of the lines remind
me of pumpkins rolling over barn
floor. For instance:
"Rode the six hundred,
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Evidence OF Strength.

''Is your baby strong?"
"Well, Ishould say SO. He raised
the whole family out Of bed at 8 o'clock
this morning, and scientists say that
that's the hour when everybody's
strength is at its lowest point. ."-Bos-
ton Traveller.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
On the Tandem.

she-"Graciousl Surely you don't
think of trying to steer through that
compact mass of vehicles"
He--"Certainly. Where there's a
wheel there's a way."-New York
Journal.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Using Oranges for Cleaning Purposes.

In southern regions, where the
orange abounds, the fruit is used not
only as food but also for cleaning
purposes. Oranges are cut into halves,
and wooden tables, benches and floors
are cleaned with them, as northern
women would use scrubbing brush
and soap. The boards are white and
stainless after this application, the
acid of the fruit seeming to remove all
stains and dirt, and doing even better
work than soap.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
POPULAR SCIENCE,

An Austrian fluid designed to pre-
rent boiler incrustation is composed of
water, calcined soda, oil SCOT, pulver-
lied zinc, caustic lime and mineral oil,
to which blend are added tannin and
tartaric acid
Some portable electric stoves are
found very convenient by ladies, for
heating curling irons, chatting dishes.
ETC., and tiny laundrv 80 3Dr
inglaces, handkerchie5
articles, is very popul's
In new automatic
weter-pumping windmill
ism 1850 connected witt . rits.t -
tank that it is put in mo -
water has sunk to certata ~.
stopped when the water at
tain height.
H. NJ. S. Star is the fir
torpedo-boat destroyers beir.
the British navy. She is two i.lnured
and fifteen feet in length and. twenty
feet nine inches in breadth, her con-
tract speed being thirty knots per
hour; she is the fastest vessel afoat.
The Sciara, q worm-like insect of
forests of Hungary and Norway, is
only tenth of nm inch long, yet in
migrating, in July OF early August, the
creatures are said to stick themselves
together in q serpent-like mass often
forty to fifty feet long and several
inches thick. A French naturalist
states that if the ends Of the mass be
placed together the insects will travel
for hours in the circle formed.
A Western inventor has developed
an arrangement whereby the act Of
opening the furnace door to fire puts
into operation an arrangement for in
jecting heated air into the furnace, and
this injection continues for q predeter-1
mined time, being shut off automati-
cally by the attached mechanism at the
end of period, the length of which is
determined by experiment, which will
allow of the combustion of the volatile
constituents Of the fuel.
Ionone, the perfume of the violet, is
mentioned as unquestionably The finest
of all products of sympathetic chemis.
try thus far. In its commercial form
of ten per cent solution, it is quoted
at $40 a pound, which would make
the value of the undiluted substance,
at the same ratio, $140O pound. And
this, moreover, is only crude material,
of disappointing odor. 1t is only when
much further diluted and skillfully
combined with other materials that the
exquisite fragrance of the violet is
brought out. e4
It has been suggested, says Elec.
tricity, that economy of street rail.
roads would be subserved by placing
the wheels on ball bearings, and Eek.
pertinent has shown that the starting
torque required on q car so equipped
is very much less than on other cars.
T seems to be only a question whether
the cost of introduction and mainten-
ance of ball bearings is not greater
than the cost of the energy that would
be saved by their use. If it is not, we
may look for far greater station
economy in the near future.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
The Perverse Sex.

Quericus-"How did he come to win
that girl who was always SO Indifferent
to him?"
Cynicus-"He told her he had joined
o bachelors club, and that made her
determined to have him."
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
Easy Proof.

Prospective Purchaser-"You say
he's a savage watchdog?"
= Owner-"Yes, indeed"
Prospective Purchaser-"But how
am I to know that?"
owner-"Try i'm; ies' go outside
with me, and climb in at that winder!"
Chicago Record:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30
KIDNEY TROUBLES
Cured by Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound,
Also Backache.

I cannot speak too highly Of Mrs.
Pinkhams Medicine, for it has done so
much for me. have been great suf-
ferer from Kidney trouble, pains in
muscles, joints, back and shoulders;
feet would swell. I also had womb
troubles and leucorrhea. After using
lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound, and Blood Purifier and Liver
Pills, I felt like o new woman. My
kidneys are now in perfect condition,
and all my other troubles are cured
Mrs. MAGGIE PORTS, 324 Kaufman St.,
Philadelphia, Pa.
Baclache.
NV system was entirely run down,
and j suffered with terrible backache
in the small of my back AID ccula
hardly stand upright. I was more
tired in the morning than on retiring
at night. I had no appetite. Since
taking Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, I havegained fifteen pounds,
and I look better than I ever looked
before. I shall recommend it to all
ny friends, as it certainly is wonder
full medicine.-MRs. E. f. MORTON, 1O45
Hopkins ST., Cincinnati, Ohio.
Kidney Trouble.
Before taking Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, I had suffered
many years with kidney trouble. The
pains in my back and shoulders were
terrible. My menstruation became H.
regular, and I was troubled with leu
corrhoea. was growing very weak. I
had been to many physicians but re.
ceived no benefit. I began the use Of
Mrs. Pinkham's medicine, and the first
bottle relieved the pain in my back
and regulated the menses. 1t is the
best kind of medicine that Ihave ever
taken, foritreheved the pain 80 quickly
and cured the disease. .-MRs. LILLIAN
OR1ppEE. Box 77, st. Andrews Bay, Fla.
ANENfe SO to SS per day. Outfit FREE.
" WG " ] v DIR. y, W. K. TRACY, Newport, BY.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-06-30

Wandering William-"Yes, Mum; I
have de misfortune to belong to de
great army of de unemployed"
Mrs. Corntassel (coldly)-"Yes; you
seem to be o veteran. .''-Puck.