Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-09-09
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over. Tcwne.-H umphI Did you ever
buy chloride OF sodium at n drug
store Life
HAS his lortlship exhibited any
symptoms OF Affection yes He has
tried to- find out how much we arc
worth."-Eife
"Oh,. George. our dinner decorations
are only white and red" well, when
we get the bill everything Will b
blue."-Boston Post.
William Good-Its shocking the way
some young men spend money. jack
Dasher-Isn't It. Now get everything
on enthusiastically Life.
Moss-It drives me frantic to see
women standing in a street car. Fern
Yes; I've noticed that 1t turns your
Observation-Disclosures North American.
Irate citizen Ito scorchepJ-Hi there!
Have pedestrians no rights in this
city? Scorcher (whizzing by)-Certain-
ly; they have funeral rites.-Brooklyn
Life.
Aid charging furiously uD)-General-
the enemy has captured our left wing
What shall we do? The commander
Fly with the other-Philadelphia In
quirer.
Hell understand that Miss Derwent
Is quite a composer. She-Xes, she
composes the greater part of what you
see Of her, every neutrality-suspicious.
Leader.
foh mn
fish il he wears that suit. / doubt II
he'll even see one. Triplett-He should
at least seersucker with that coat on.
Boston Post.
MOlly-Jack called on me last night
and stayed until II o'clock. Dolly-He
told me this morning that 1t was.-pery
late before he could get away.-New
York Journal.
"Have you seen Maud's rainy day
costume? It's too sweet for any use."
why doesn't she wear it to-dayT 1T
looks so much like rain.''-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
First tramp-Did yer give her dat
gag about bein' too feeble ter work?
Second tramp-Yes. She said dat wuz
what wuz der matter wild de gag
New York Journal.
Mr. Cumso-Fangle, what is the diff
ference between a hectic flush and a
bobtail flush? Mr.. Fangle-A hectic
flush is red, while bobtail flush leaves
someone blue.-Boston Post.
Then, proud beauty. you refuse my
love?' said he. ''Well," said the sum-
mer girl, thoughtfully. 81 don't know
but that might be willing to take an
option on indianapolis Journal.
She-I am quite sure you had too
much champagne when you called on
me yesterday afternoon. He-Yes;
thought I'd just look around to-day to
see If was engaged to you.-Punch.
Agnes-I put plaster on Reggy
| when he went to ask papa for my
hand. Meg-That was to draw him
out, Ell? Agnes-Yes, and 1t also mus
tered up his courage.-New York Jour-
nal.
.They say your minister and ours
| had n race to see which would perform
| the most marriage ceremonies during
June. How did 1t come QUIT "Oh, IL
was tie of course" -Philadelphia In
quirer.
| 1--WE have rather a long account to
| settle with Turkey" said Prince Con-
stantine, grimly. YES" said King
| George, with n slight smile, land it's
| a running account at that."-Cleveland
1 Plain Dealer.
| You old plug" said the farmer to his
balky horse, you actually amt worth
| killin'-unless," he added, after second
thought, unless could manage to git
| you killed by the railroad.
natl Enquirer.
| Weary Watkins: Say, what is moral
| courage, anyway" Hungry Higgins:
81 heard a preacher say 1t was the
| power to say no. Weary Watkins:
..When you're asked to drink, or to
work w-Indianapolis Journal.
| Hicks: did you hear about Macklin?
| They called the Rev. Mr.. Dudley to his
bedside last evening" Wicks: You
don't mean to say he Is in dying condi-
tion?' Hicks: 'Oh, no; only bad case
of insomnia" Boston Transcript.
she. DO you feaiiy DeltcVe tuut ia
briel will sound n trumpet for all of us
ON the last dayT He: "Well, l am
sometimes half inclined to believe that
some folks will insist upon blowing
their own horns, even then."-Cleve-
| land Leader.
| Awkward young dramatist ito man.
| ager)-Might 1 ask how my three-act
| drama is coming on, sir? Has 1t been
| accepted? "The three members of the
| reading committee have read 1t and
| think it will do with one act cut OUT
II am glad to hear 1t Is no worse, sir"
| But" continued the manager, "unfort-
unately, each one wants to strike out q
| different act."-Fliegende Batter.
The red-faced youngster had con-
| sented to become the new office boy.
"I'n give you $4 per week." said the
great and eminent lawyer, as he looked
at the successful applicant In be-
nignant and indulgent way. Say,
boss" responded the youngster, "why
don'tcher say 81 week. Per sounds
as though I wouldn't get it.'-New