, 1897-03-18
HE'S ALL RIGHT.
Don't Worry About the Editor-He Will
Get Along.

What an exaggeration! What a whop-
per. Ii has been disproven a thousand
times; ii is a clear case of fancy. 1t
doesn't take money to run a newspaper;
a business venture; it is a charitable in
stitution, a begging concern, a highway
robber. A creature of a dream. 1t can
go on and on, when any other concern
would be in the hands OF a receiver. and
wound up with cobwebs in the window.
1t takes wind to run a newspaper.
IL takes gall to run a newspaper.
1t takes a ~scintillating, acrobatic i'm
%agination, and a half dozen white shirts
and a railroad pass to run a newspaper?
Kind words are the medium OF exchange
that do the business of the editor; kind
words and church sociable tickets. When
you see an editor with money, watch
him. He'll be paying his bills. and dis
grazing his profession.
Never give money TO an editor. Make
him trade it out. He likes to swap.
Then when you die, after having
stood around for years and sneered at
he editor and his little John Grow pa
per, be sure and have your wife send
in for three extra copies by one Of your
weeping children, and when she reads
the generous and touching notice about
you. and forewarn her to neglect to send
the Is cents to the editor. Ii would ov-
erwhelm him: money is a corrupting
ching. The editor knows it, and what
he wants is your heartfelt thanks. Then
he can thank his printers and they can
thank their grocers.
Take your job work to the job offices
and then ask for half rates for church
notices. Get your stationery, lodge let
ter heads, ETC. printed out OF town, and
then flood the editor with beautiful
thoughts in cards of thanks and reso-
lutions OF respect. They make such
spicy reading, and when you pick it up
filled with those glowing and vivid
mortuary articles, you are so proud of
our little paper.
But money. Scorn the filthy thing:
don't let the pure, innocent editor ever
know anything about it. Keep that for
scrdid tradespeople who charge for
their goods. The editor gives his bounty
away. The Lord loveth a cheerful Civ
er. He has a charter from the state to
act as door mai for the community.
He'll get the paper u someway and
stand up for you when O run for Of
flee; and lie about your pigeon toed
daughters tacky wedding; and blow
about our big footed sons when they
get a IS a week job. and weep over your
%shivering soul when it is released from
your grasping body, and smile at your
giddy wife's second marriage. Don't
worry about the editor. He will get
along. The Lord knows how-but
somehow.-Emporia Kansas Gazette.
TRAGEDY BY THE TRAGEDIAN
The tragedian was telling the story
and all the members of the company
had gathered round to hear it.
Twas a scurvy trick he said. 81
well remember the night and the cir
cumstances. To make n long jump in
a single night we were to take the train
Immediately after the performance. A
rival company company Of hams I
think l may justly term them-was en-
deavoring to make the same jump, and
as we had played a number of own
together and had hurt each others bust
mes a good deal, there was no love lost
between us and we were not lying awake
nights to think up schemes for doing
each other a good turn. On the con-
trary. If 1t had been possible for either
to sidetrack the other 1t would have
been done"
Naturally" said the comedian.
"Ot course" chimed the s%oubrette.
Did you have a footrace?' asked the
leading man.
I'VE had one OF the most awful ex-
periences ever detailed in play or
novel," said the ~tragedian impressively.
SAT midnight in a dark alley we were
placed In n Of those terrible ~predica-
ments that cause mems hair to turn
white in a few minutes. We were con
fronted by a problem upon the solution
of which the whole future OF the COM
pany might depend"
'Did the other manager hire some
body to waylay o or did the treasurer
try to skip with the funds?"
Worse than either" replied the
tragedian. you see, a short cut to the
depot lay through an alley, and Of course
we took II. We had just reached the
end Of 1t and could see the depot only
half a block away when the leading
lady gave q scream and stopped short.
OF course we all did the same, and, fol-
lowing the direction Of her gaze, we saw
just ahead Of US a ladder stretched
cross the alley"
"Horrible!" cried the soubrette.
"A sure hoodoo for you all II you
passed under IT." exclaimed the come
dian.
And we couldn't go round 1t with
out chasing back out Of the alley and
going round the block" explained the
tragedian; land just as the horror Of
the situation fairly forced itself upon
US We heard the engine whistle. There