Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-02-17

i other DAY as was IWlnluS
Roses for crown to dine in,
What, Of all things midst the heap
Should / light on, fast asleep,
But the little desperate elf,
The tiny traitor, Love, himself!
BY the wings / pnched him up
Like bee and in cup
OF my wine, / plunged and sank him.
l drank him!
Faith, thought, he's dead! Not he!
There he lives with tenfold glee,
And now, this moment, with his wings
l feel him tickling my heartstrings.
Leigh Hunt.
While the laws of Great Britain are
more friendly to foreigners, especially
eXiles, than those of any other country
except the United States, the people
generally act on the principle of the
cockney mason who said to his mate:
Say Bill, ''ere's furriner. Let's cave
a brick at imp That this sentiment is
not confined to the lower orders is illus
trated by an anecdote in Vanity Fair,
with reference to the rumor that Don
Carlos, the Bourbon Pretender, will abdi-
cate in favor of his son, Don Jaime.
Don Jaime was educated at an English
school and one of his older schoolfellows
Asked what Jaime had done to provoke
such treatment, the English boy an
swered HE hasn't done anything;
but perhaps he'll be King one of these
days, and if he is [ want to be able
to say that I once kicked the King of
Spain"
Rather a neat way of stating an awk-
ward fact was adopted by recent appli
cant for pension. The applicant had
been wounded while his regiment was
in retreat, but he did not say it that
way. 81 received my wound" he said,
while marching rapidly in front of the
enemy"
Charles Kingsley was a great martyr
to stammering, and it was torture to him
to keep conversation waiting until he
could put his thoughts into words. Sin
gularly enough. in church when he was
reading or speaking there was no sign of
stammering; but on the way home from
church he would say: ooh, let me STAN
mer now; you won't mind it,
In the early sos, "Jim" Schultz was
justice of the peace in Twin Groves
township, Nebraska. One day an attor-
words and actions. His honor finally
gave vent to his feelings as follows: 1.-The
court will now take recess. Mr.. At
torney, you are a damned liar and a
scoundrel. The court will now come to
order. Mr.. Attorney, if you open your
head I'll fine you for contempt. '-Argo-
naut.
There are some entertaining pictures
of life in Washington seventy years ago
in Stratford Canning's diary and letters.
MY predecessor" he writes, was Sir
Charles Bagot, q man of very attractive
manners, intelligent, witty and kind. An
American minister and his wife dining
with him one day, he heard Lady Bagot,
who was NJ soma distance har
quickly: My dear Mrs. Simpson, what
can you be doing? The salad-bowl had
been offered to Mrs Simpson, and her
arm was lost in it up to the elbow. Her
reply was prompt: Only rollicking for
an onion, my lady
Flannigan-"How'd yez git tn black
oye, Casey"
Casey-"Oi shipped an landed on me
back"
Flannigan-"But, me good mon VI
face amt located on yr back
Casey (gloomily)-"No, nather wuz
Finnigan." Truth
My mither sent me to see if you wad
gle her calendar like the ane you
gied to Mrs. Mackay," said Il boy to
grocer in the village. But, my little
boy" replied the grocer, your mother
does not get her groceries here" NO"
replied the boy, 'but she borrows them
from Mrs. Mackay, and Mrs. Mackay
gets them frae you. Words
A good story is told of a well known
and wealthy electrician who lives in one
Of the fashionable suburbs of Boston.
Naturally his luxurious home is fitted
with all the latest and most ingenious
electrical contrivances which can con
tribute to the comfort and convenience
of the members of the household. Among
others Mr.. = has an electrical arrange
ment by means of which on touching q
button at the head of his bed the water
is started running in his bathtub in an
adjoining room and on touching another
button the door to the room swings open
and the bath full of water comes gliding
in to the side of his bed. He can thus
perform his additions and return to his
couch with the slightest possible effort
and exposure. One morning recently
Mr. was showing some unexpected Bos-
ton friends through his house and
thought he would surprise them with an
exhibition Of his bathtub cOntrivance.
He touched the button for the appear
ance of the tub. The door swung open.
in it rolled but low and behold it had an
occupant; it was Mrs. = who unaware
of the presence of guests in the house,
was taking her morning BATH
~
He had a look of great determination
in his watery-blue eyes as he thrust his
frowsy beard into the little window of
the CabbagetoWn pOstoffice and asked:
What's 2-cent stomps Wuth?'
Two cents"
An you don't cut down none fur cash.
ner fling III postage kyard, ner nuthin'
eXtry|'
No"
An postage stomps hain't gone down
bit, an cotton, an wheat, an everything
plum down to nuthin'?'
No"
wy, I paid &c fur stomps when cot
ton was 1Oc an wheat dollar"
L can't help that
Eyer KANT, Ell? Look-a-here, young
Teller, this is a plum outrage. I won't
pay no sich 'stortionate prices. / am not
goin' to stand here and be robbed in
broad-open daylight
We'll, but -"
But nothin'! You have had err grindin'
monoperly here jest ez long as the pater-
otic SiterZins Of CabbagetoWn deestrick