davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
- Worried,

imbledCn-What's ON your mind.
old man? Is your wife or any of your
children sick?
Hankins-Heavens, it's a mole seri-
Gus matter than that! I'm afraid we're
not going to have baseball team here
this season.-Cleveland Leader.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
An Irish Bull.

The servant girl in writing a letter
unfortunately blotted it. To save the
trouble of copying it she added a post
script: "You will find several blots in
this letter but that is not my fault; they
were made in the postoffice. Boston
Traveller.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
A Pigeon Race,

In France pigeons are regarded as
valuable messengers in case Of war,
and recently the French Minister Of
War offered a prize for the winner of
a pigeon race from Perigueux to Paris,
260 miles. No less than 2, TAG birds were
entered in the contest. The winner
made the distance in seven hours thir-
ty-four minutes, an average of over
thirty-fOur miles an hour.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
No Earthly Use for 'Em,

81 don't see why so many cranks are
trying to invent flying machine.
There's no earthly use for them"
mo; that's true; they are meant to
navigate the air."-Cincinnati CONNER
cial-Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Vainer.

Mrs. Porkcash (affably, having spent
the whole afternoon looking at pic
lures, without buying one)-My DEAR
Mr.. Canvas, l wonder, now, if there
is anything vainer than you artists
about your pictures?
Poor Artist-Our efforts to sell them.
madame.-Brooklyn Life.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Loves Sacrifices

"How do know that you really love
me?' she asked. What assurance
have l that you would be willing to
make sacrifices and endure hardships
for my sake?"
He looked at her In reproach1ul
astonishment and exclaimed:
"What more can you ask? Haven't
1 for six months refrained from laying
violent hands on your little brotherY'
Washington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Abreast,

'"Thls bosom," she coldly remarked,
"has never known love-"
"a breast of the times" he faltered,
and shuddered.-Detroit Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Her CrueI Nav

he (earnestly)-I trust you under
stand ME, Miss Eleanor; l don't see
how l can make myself any palmer.
She Chastily)-Oh, Mr.. Bumps, please
don't try to.-New York Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
The Real Estate Mans Pet Story.

Opdike discussing their new fat)-
The real estate agent said that my wife
and l could have the fat for $25
month, but that he would charge any
one else $50.
Fathergill-That was the offer he
made me and my wife when we thought
Of taking it.-Brooklyn Eagle.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
nn,uax Accfdents fn Enrone.

The railroad companies of Great
pr1tain carried 930,OO0,0OO passengers
in 1895. of whom 1856 were killed. Dur
ING the same year, in the city of Lon
don alone, 5S6 persons were killed by
falling from buildings or out Of win
dows,
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Sublime,

Jennie-How did you enjoy yourself
crossing the ocean!
Clara-Immensely OF course there
was nothing to see but sky and water,
but the landscape was sublim>.-Judge.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

Snakes in South Africa fear the Sec
retary bird and will even crawl away
from its shadow. This bird can easily
thrash bird twice its size.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Satisfact0ry ExnIouo%:

~They say that Batch hasn't a dollar
to his name"
'That must be the reason he has
never been able to get any woman to
secept it."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
A Bothered Litterateur.

what is the matter?' inquired tie
officer.
''The enemy has stolen a march on
mew replied the general, in grea. agi-
tation.
"Are you sure"
almost. Either that or else 1 have
njslaid the manuscript. t.'-Ind:anapclis
Journal,
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
AN OPEN LETTER TO MOTHERS.

We are asserting i'll the courts our right to the
exclusive of the word "CASTOKIA' and
PITCHERS CASTORIA," as our Trade Mark.
I, DR.. Samuel Pitcher of Hyannis Massachusetts,
was the originator of PITCHERS CAS- rORIA,"
the same that has borne and does now bear the
fac-simile signature of CHAS. H. FLETCHER ON
every wrapper. This is the original PITCHERS
CASTORIA" !" which has been used in the homes
of the mothers of America for over thirty years.
Look Carefully at the wrapper and see that it is
the kind jon hare ARRAYS bought, and has the
signature of CHAS. II. FLETCHER on the
wrapper. No one has authority from me to use
my name except The Centaur Company of which
Chas H. Fletcher is President.
March 8, 1897. SAMUEL, PITCHER, MD.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
He Was Engaged.

Owner of the Show-What did you
say your specially was!
Applicant for Job-I am crack and
fancy shot with pistols.
''Does your act take well:"
''Does it? l have made a hit every
place I've exhibited. ."-Cincinnat Trib,
une.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Mean Thing.

ga dinner such as we have had to-
day." said the elderly boarder, "makes
me feel like a young man.
Indeed" was all Mrs. Hashcroft
deigned to reply.
Indeed. When 1 think Of that lamb
we had for dinner l feel that if that
was lamb l must still be a boy
Washington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
DEAFNESS CANNOT BE CURED


by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear There is
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness is
caused by an infamed condition of the
mucous lining Of the Eustachian Tube
When this tube gets infamed you have a
rumbling sound or imperfect hearing, and
when it is entirely closed deafness is the re-
suit, and unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to its nor
NAL condition, hearing will be destroyed
forever; nine cases out Of ten are caused by
catarrh, which is nothing but All infamed
condition Of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for
any ease of Deafness Caused by catarrh }
that cannot be CURED by Halls Catarrh
Cure. Send for circulars, tree.
+. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Settled 1t.

She declared herself one Of those
bashful, timid girls who can never sit
still or decide what to dc with her
hands.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
ExaCtlY.

"They tell me that you have new
scheme afoot,' said an old friend to
the theatrical manager.
''Yes, the company's walking back
from Hoboville now."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
WISE WOMEN.
Those Who Heed the First Syrp-
toms Of Nervous Derangemeat.

A dull, aching pain at the lower part
Of the back, and q sensation Of little
rills of heat, or chills running down
the spine, are symptoms Of general
womb arrangement.
If these symptoms are not accom-
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

Nurse-Johnnie, the stOrk has just brought
you a little baby. Wouldn't you like tt see a
little brother? Johnnie-Naw. But I'd like to
see the stolk.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Why Johnny Lost His lob.

'It's your wife at the telephone" said
the office boy.
'"Tell her Pm out for the afternoon"
'He seys to tell you he's out for the
afternoon, mum."-DetrOit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
KnnwS II Ar

Visitor-Come now, Frank, I'm really
interested in the electrical business.
and | want you to tell me all there is to
know about it.
Proprietor-All right Mr.. Granger
send that boy here who began work
day before yesterday.-Boston Tran
script.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Need of Caution.

Mrs. McInty-An' phat did tn doc
ther soy wos tn matter wild y'r eye,
Patsy?
Small Son-He say-ed thur was some
foreign substance in it.
Mrs. McInty with an "I-told-you-so"
air)-Now, maybe yell kape away from
thin Oytalians.-New York Weekly.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

The reason doctors charge so much
is that only one patient in ten pays
anything.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF
VARIOUS HUMORISTS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World dOver-Sayings that Are Cheer
full to Old or Young Funny
Selections that You Will Enjoy.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

He answered by putting an embrac-
ing arm about her waist and taking
both Of her little hands in his.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
The Mysterious Glare.

"People who see airships are not so
numerous as they were short me
ago."
"Yes,' replied the victim of chronic
skepticism, ''but just you wait till the
lightning bug season comes in
Washington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Repreaent No One.

"May I ask" said the visitor in the
Senate gallery, "who these gentlemen
represent?'
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

She-Indeed I would, if it were not
for startling poor mamma.-Detroit
Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
It Was Soff1ad-

''When me and Jane was marrit,"
said the old man, ''the fust thing says
when we got to the house wuz: L guess
the fust thing fer us to do is fer us to
settle who is goin' to be boss"
"And did you settle it?' asked the
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Turned Tn

Anything turned up yet" asked the
friend.
Nothing but the noses of everybody
l tackle" said the man who was look
ing for place.-Exchange
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Compound

DGPEUkE and PsEES cured; no pay
II until cured; send for book. DRs MANSFIELD
PokTERFIELD, SS8 Market St., San Francisco.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

Ella-Bella says that she has seen but twenty
summers. stella She isn't ountlng the years
before she had a wheel.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Honed 1t Wnuld Last.

"Above ALL" said the throat special
list, 'the lady must talk as little as
possible"
Doctor" eagerly asked Mrs. Gray
mair's husband, SIS there any hope of
1t becoming chronic pitt Bits.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
A Matter of Weight.

"But Helen certainly was a great
girl" persisted Hector.
AgamemnOn Sneered.
"By Troy weight, possibly" he re-
torted, not without a suggestion of
acrimOny.-Answers
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Not His Fault

Tramp-Pm de victim Of misplaced
confidence.
Mrs. Appleblosom-How so?
Tramp were clerk in er bank an
dey lef' $4,000 in me charge. My
term jes' expired.-Detroit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

Piso's Cure for Consumption has been
God-send to me.-Wm. B. Mcclellan
Chester, Florida Sept II. 1895.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
Wanted to Change 1t.

De Bangs-I bought shirt at this
store. Can l change it at this counter?
Saleslady somewhat embarrassed)-
Weller, don't you think you had bet
ter go where you can have more priv
acy?-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
The Best Wheel for Him.

Barrow-That's a dandy wheel you
have there, old man. I'll take little
spin on it some day. By the way, what
kind Of wheel do you think ought
to ride?
Marrow-One of your own. Brook
lyn Life
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
The Cheerful Idiot.

81 WONDER" said the pathological
boarder, why a fight is called a
scrap?"
Because it is a broken peace" the
Cheerful Idiot explained, with his usu-
al prOmptitude.-India Journal
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02

Nobody" replied the guide. "This is
the United States Senate. e."-Philadel-
phia North American,
The Winslow mail., 1897-10-02
And Hence She Didn't,

He-If l should kiss you would you
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
A FAMOUS BAKERY.

How the hollands Became Cakemakers
For the Royal Family.
In one of the old buildings which
bear the architectural imprint of Queen
Anne's time in Chester, England, is a
ba~keshop-not an ordinary bakeshop,
for the royal arms jut out from the Sec
ond story, and Immediately above is a
sign bearing the name hollands"
And the proximity of the sign to the
royal arms is no idle commercial myth
to insnare new customers.
u tho annals OF the tralesfOlk OF
Chester there never was a greater man
than Richard Rolland, the original
owner of the b~akeshop. IN 1886 the
Duchess of Kent and her young daugh-
ter, the Princess Victoria, visited the
city for the purpose Of officially opening
a new bridge that was to bring all
kinds of Importance and prosperity to
the town. Of course it was an immense
event for Chester, and every one did
something to make the visit Of the
great folks memorable.
Richard Bolland was ambitious, but
poor, and he churned his brains might
liz to devise some attractive method of
showing his loyal appreciation Of the
visit. In a happy moment he decided TO
make some small cakes of transcendent
excellence, put them il a fancy box and
present them to the young princess.
Happy thought! Potent cakasl Great
BUllandi
The next year the little princess,
whose palate had been enchanted by
the flavor of the Chester cakes, became
queen of England, and one of the first
acts after her accession in 1887 was the
appointment Of Bolland lis one OF the
queens warrant holders. So much for
the power of Il box of small cakes.
How long the favor e those cakes
fingered III the royal memory is shown
by the fact that 20 years later, when
the Prince of Wales Was to be married,
Victoria gave a commission to Bolland
to prepare the wedding cake fer that
great event. 1t WAS 40 ordinary wed
ding cake that Mr.. Bolland produced
either, and its exhibition earned him
such tremendous fame that every Eng
lish bride of wealth aad prominence
who has married since then has had
the Chester baker prepare her wedding
cake.
Descendants of the original Bolland
now conduct the shop, but they use the
same recipe that proved so successful in
the days of Victoria's childhood, and
still bake cakes for the royal family
Philadelphia Press.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
President Hayes Little Book.

Ex-Secretary of the Treasury Charles
Foster was talking to me one day about
Rutherford B. Hayes. Foster'xepresent.
ed Hayes district in congress when
Hayes was president. They were polit-
1cal and personal friends of almost a
lifetime standing. Said Foster to me:
I got plenty of patronage under
Hayes, to be sure, but fer a long time !
never landed the men in whom [ was
most particular and earnestly inter
ested. | would go to the president and
lay the claims Of my man before him.
He would usually acquiesce in every
thing that | said, because in most cases
he knew the applicants as well as did.
Well, IN every instance where some de-
voted friend was concerned the presi-
cent Ecald say, 'Oh, we'll, Charlie, We
will fix that il a day CT So. Then he
woula reach do9yn ii 4 drawar, pull
out a small book and q sh0st stub ~ a
pencil aud make 4 Eote OF +la rnau agd
his wants. I would then for days 10
come scan with much interest the list
of appointments sent to the senate, but
none that had found q place i'll the pres
ident's notebook vas to be seen among
them. Still, I didn't complain much.
for | knew that Hayes was doing the
best he could. Time went on, and final
" | called at the White House to insist
that a certain friend of mine who was
then in Washington be instantly ap-
pointed as a consular agent abroad.
This gentleman had political claims On
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
oodS
chest, always ready, al rw
ways efficient, always sat
isfactory; prevent a cold
or fever, cure all liver ills.
sick headache. iaundice, constipation, etc. o5c.
only Pills 20 take with Hoods Sarsaparilla.
Marie Antoinette's Books.

The unhappy Queen Marie Antoinette
possessed an important library of Lila
volumes, consisting Of plays and 70
Mances. little books u la mode, the
works Of Pascal. Bossuet, Fenelon,
Eouidaloue, Massillon, Boileau, Cous-
seao, Co1neille, Moliere, V~oltaire and
many others. She loved music passion
ately aud had a large collection of
operas IL - LI1nbeIs. The bindings
we've ty B.alzot and were uniform i'll
REQ Eorotcc, with the AIMS Of France
and Austria stamped upon them. The
execution Ct the work was Door, and
the eecaGerce III the art Ct binding eyi.
dent. TIE glories Of the art of Padeloup
and the DercEes had passed away, and
the revolution etfectually killed what
ever knowledge remained of the ancient
skill Of the booEb .nders. Half a century
later saw its revival in France, and the
art has since fiourisLed 10th there and On
English soil.-Geutleman's Magazine.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
The Leper and the Elaestone.

One OF the principal legends connect
ed with St. Patrick's altar store, &C
cording to a writer in Donahoe's Maya
zinc. IS called the Legend Of the Leper
and the Flagstena." This story runs as
follows: When St. Patrick was embark
ing for Ireland to enter upon his mis-
sion, a poor leper came to the scashore
just as the ship was about to weigh
anchor and earnestly begged to be taken
on board. 1t is probable that he had
heard something of the holiness Of the
saint and the proofs of divine favor con-
fer1eh upon him, and that deep within
his inner consciousness there was born
a hope, vague at first, but gradually
growing stronger, that in the company
of st. Patrick be might expect some
amelioration of his pitiable condition.
Something i'll the man appealed to the
saint, who was SO deeply touched by
his ~pleadinSs that he expressed a wish
to have the despised leper taken on
board, but fear and prejudice had such
an influence over the sailors that they
would not allow the leper on board, and
the ship began to move d while the
afflicted MAI continued to plead from
the beach. The saint took his altar
stones and cast it Oh the water within
reach Of the leper, telling him to sit on
1t Il remain perfectly quiet. Again
was the faith of the man shown, and
as soon as he had seated himself the
stone began to move over the water. It
followed Immediately in the wake Of
the ship until it reached the harbor of
Wicklow, and the leper thus reached
the shores Of Erin in safety. St. Patrick
again took possession of the stone.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23

The aus Of a wrong taste is a de-
feet Of Judgment. And this may arise
from a natural weakness Of understand
ing Gin whatever the strength Of that
faculty may consist), or, which is much
more commonly the case, it may arise
from a want Of a proper and we'll d.
rected exercise, which alone can make
it strong and ready. Besides, that ig-
norance, inattention, prejudice, rash
ness. leyity, obstinacy-in short, all
those passions and ali those vices which
pervert the Judgment in other matters,
prejudice it no less il this its more re-
lined and elegant province
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
me and also Oh the president. 1 stated

me and also on the president. 1 stated
my case as briefly rs possible to the
president, who l.stered attentiyeIy.
When l had finished. the president said:
why, cetfainly, Charlie. Yes, yes;
to be sure And then he dived fer that
book Of his.
Just as he was opening its leaves /
grabbed his arm and said: Hold on
there, general. III ba switched if that
mans name goes i'll that j%aclass book
The president saw tho hu-nor Of it. and
I got my constituent appointed then and
there. Chicago Times-IIerald.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23

Slowly tells me he can draw his
check for 500. OOO."
$50 no can. He can draw it for
81, 900. eco. 600. But if he owes you as
much as 80 cents insist on having tho
coin. detroit Free Press.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23

Cleverness is s~eryiceable for every
thing, sufficient for nothing.-Amiel.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
Much i'm /. little

cine ever contained SO great curative power in
so smal space. They are a whole medicine
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23
TAKE NOTICE!

We call the attention Of
justices of the peace elect of
this and adjoining parishes
that we are prepared to fur
nish them all needed forms
III their line of business on
short notice and at reasona-
bic prices. Write or call and
see for yourselves.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23

sCastoria isso well adapted to children that
recommend it as superior toany prescription
known to me-" II. A. ARCHER, NJ. d.,
iii So. Oxford St., Rroeklyn, n. Y.
The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-10-23

"The use Of sCastoria' is SO universal and
IT'S merits sc well known that it seems a work
of s~upererogation to endorse it. Few are the
intelligent families who do not keep Castoria
within easy reach"
CARLOS MARTYR, D. D.,
New York City.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1897-08-12
Canon City Won.

The success of the Strawberry boys
at Saiida last Sunday and Monday is
largely due to the managing ability of
Captain Dawson, and of course, the
inferior playing of the Salida club The
placing of proper players in the posi-
ZION where they can most strengthen
Il club is matter requiring not only
The keenest foresight but vast amount
of knowledge of the national game
That Mr.. Dawson possesses the pre-
requisites has been fully demonstrated
in the games at Salida. The team was
composed of but few good ball players,
he others been young and inexperi-
enced, but willing and ambitious.
The score in the match games with
Salida last Sunday and Monday may
not have been in keeping with high
class article of ball, yet we are credita-
bly, informed many good and interest
ing plays abounded The score stood:
y 10 26; % to IL. Canon winning both
games. ID. l.. Gregory acted as master
of ceremonies and looked well to the
clubs interest.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1897-08-12
He Has Arrived.

Prof. 5. Waldmann, the well known
German optician of st. Louis, has come
TO Canon to spend Il few weeks. He
has opened an Office at the st. Cloud
hotel where he will he pleased to meet
all who have need of his professional
services. Have You nervous headache,
dim eyesiglt or any defect whatever
with yonr eyes? Do your glasses need
refitting? If so, give the Professor a
call. Prof. Waldmann is sole inventor
OF the famous new Brazilian Crystal
aud Pebble Lenses which are so well
known in America aud Europe. These
lenses took first premium at the World s
Fair. and there is certainly 10 better
glasses made. He has already fitted
glasses for several Of our leading citi-
zens, including physicians, To whom
Prof. Waldmann will be pleased to
refer you. Office hours from to 3 D.
m. Consultation and examination free.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1897-08-12

Ds-.s<s =
gether, and until the last few years was sup
posed TO be incurable. For a great many
years doctors pronounced It local disease.
and prescribed local remidies, and by con-
stantly failing to cure with local tire eatment
pronounced 1t incurable. Science has proven
Catarrh to be a constitutional disease and
therefore requires constitutional treatment.
Cheney Co.. Toledo. Ohio, is the only con-
stitutional cure on the market. 1t LIS taken
Internally in doses from 10 drops to q tea
spoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. They ofer
500 Tor any case II falls to cure. Send for
circulars and testimonials. Address,
F. ). CHENEY Il CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by druggists. rs cents
Halls Family Pills are the best.
CanÌƒon City record. [volume] (CanÌƒon City, Colo.) 1883-192?, 1897-08-12

How's this? A special dispatch
rom Bridgetown. n. j. says: "The
authorities in this city have placed a
tax on profanity. Precedent has
placed the tax at 81 an oath. A clti-
zen swore twice yesterday and was
promptly hauled into court. where he
was fined 80" What's the matter with
the city council adopting similar
measure? 1t wouldn't take long to
raise money for the city park in that
way.