davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27
FLASHES OF FUN.

What makes the bride limp so? I
tidn't know she was lame" She's
wearing yellow garters for her brides
naids-and there are ten OF them
Chicago Daily News.
What are all those ribbons hanging
IN the chandelier Those are not
.ibbons: they are necktes I've pulled
,ff different men when l was learning
o ride a wheel. "-Chicago Record.
RaggleS-wo't yer dom Weary. Wild
de tellerscope? Weary-LOokn' fer
work Raggles-Lookln' Ter work.
W'ot fer? Weary-SO's I kin avoid IL.
I wuz Jest skin up de houses round
here ter see ef can't strike one dat
keeps n gaserlinc can instid Nv wood
pile.-Judge.
Il can always distinguish between
this vim ordinaire and red ink" said
the regular diner az the table fhote.
"Howy' asked the casual customer.
by the label on the bottle" said the
regular with n hendlsh grin This
shows the Importance Of judicIous ad
vertising -Judge.
Nisitor-Whati lie is three months
old and you haven't named him yeti
Mrs. wheeler-Nol You see. It's this
way: want 10 name him after my bi-
cycle. and John insists on naming him
after his. guess we win have 10 com
promise and name him after the wheel
mother rides-Puck.
Yesterday" said Jabson. Il refused
supplicant woman n request for a
small sum OF money, and 10 conse-
quence OF my act passed a sleeplcss
night. The tones Of her voice were
ringing IN my airs the whole time"
Your softness OF heart does you cred
IT," said MADISON: ''who was the won-
amp My wife."-Detroit Free Press.
DO you mean TO say" asked the Wis
itor. in horror. that the gentleman
was shot for simply rising and making
"A motion during meeting OF your de-
batting societyT' "Suttinly." said the
Colonel. but you must remembah. sab
that the motion he was called down on
was made IN the direction OF his hip
pocket. sab. detroit Free Press
Mrs. Greene-Ten me, aren't there
any expresses running 10 your town ?
( Mrs. Gray-Of course there are; plenty
I OF them. Why do you ask Mrs.
] Greene-My husband has told me that
he has seen your husband almost ev-
cry night on his way home. and he al
ways had more than be could carry -
/ Boston Transcript.
Judge-You admit that you entered
the house of the prosecuting witness
/ by the door ar o'clock In the morn
/ ing2 Prisoner-Yes. your honor. Judge
What business did you have there az
that time or night? Prisoner thought
il was my own house. Judge-Then
why did you. when Chis lady approach
ed. leap through the window. jump
into the cistern. and hide yourself
| Prisoner-YOur honor, / thought IL was
my wife.-Truth.
Lady tto manager OF employment bu-
reau)-What nationality is that bright
looking. dark girl over In
the corner? I've addressed her In
French, Spanish and Italian. but she
| doesn't seem 10 understand either. Man
| ager Cbrisklyl-Tried the United States
dialect on her? NO. / never thought OF
that" Perhaps she might under
stand you If you did. She was born
and brought up in New York"-New
York World.
Ill
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Southern distances are peculiar. and
the road directions which a tourist re-
ceives are sometimes wanting in the
quality OF expllcitness.
How far Is IL from here 20 Brush
burgF asked tourist OF an old fellow
who was hOeing weeds IN acid OF
slckly corn down South" lis II farT'
WAL. It haint 80 very Ter nor II
haint 50 very nigh. II yOu go raound
by the big road It's ferdcr nor Il Is
nigh. but II you cut acrost country It's
higher nor II Is FER. an X ron keep
right straight ahead It's kinder be-
twixt nigh an Ger. but rs eon<idc able
OF a ja'nt from hyar no matter how
rSu git thar. -H@-pcr's Razar.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

As mercury viii surely destroy the sense OF
smell and com plceeiy dcrsnge thewbole system
when e-serinx 81 IN rough the mucous surfaces
such articles should never be used except on
prescriptions from reputable rhy sicians. As the
damage they will q . Is ten fold u the good you
can pcssibly de rive from them. Ia Is Rtarrh
Cure manufactured by r. J. cheney a. Co.
Toledo. o.. contains no mercury. and h taken
Internally. acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces OF the stem In buyine
HALLS CatAFrs cure be sure 20 set the genuine
II il taken internally. an Is made in Toledo
Ohio. BY r. J. cheney q q. Testimonials free
Er- Sold by Druggists price. 75c. per bottle
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

OF the $50 United States stamps
which have been issued, the values
have ranged from one cent to $4,000.
Five dollars is the highest value
among postage stamps, but newspaper
stamps reach the hundred dollar mark,
while revenue stamp may represent
$4,000.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

During the decade ending with 1870
the average number OF persons killed
IN Great Britain was CO. and during the
past ten years eighteen. showing the
benefits OF strict governmental super
vision.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Cholly-I say. Miss Ethc,. why. aw-
are you always aw-givinx kisses 70
your aw-.ittie brother.
Mss Ethel-oh. I guess It's because
there : no man around 10 take them.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Tnr~> GOD thtucs about Tettcrfue. beside
s>~ rn- ~r~nf Good fnr1 that A cures are that -
A. oainlerrL harmless and has no rad odcr. y
ne only sure cure for Iesssr- htn<uvtms e
matter how long ycu have had them. ~ cents
r~sn q hox ~ Druggists or by mail Tor - cents
IN cash OF r'nmps from j. 4. Srupttne. SaVah
aah- Ga
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

The distance OF the earth from the sss !:
about 5000. 900 miles less In December thar
IL is In June.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Mrs. Winsiow's Soothing Syrup Tor childreT
tccthinC. softens the gums. rs'iiu cling iniarnma
ton. allays pain. cures wind collie Ssc-a bostie
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Glaas was early known. Glass beads we're
found on the bodies OF mummies over 5000
years cid.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

In 81. Petersburg no outdoor musical per
formanees are permitted.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets \
Druggists refund money II IL fails q cure. -
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Some people save all their sympathy
until man Is dead; they they make
his grave sloppy with their tears
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

n,ain at the bottom OF the ladder: they
always try TO get farther down.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Fits permanently cured. No ITS o. nervous
ness after first days use o. Or. kliae-s Great
Nerve keSto-er s. trial boltlc nd tres tise free
Da X. II. KLINE. Ltd. Ssl Arch 81. PAils.. Pa
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

Piso'e Cure for CoDsaIm ption has no equa
~ . Cough mcdicine.-F. II. ABBOTT. 6S3 Sen
eof St. Budalo. y Y. May 2. 1894
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

A dollar in mans pocket is worth ter
that be owes.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

A lost opportunity seldom fnds It's
way back.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

ia man has kin Is Is equivalent to having
troubles.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

A torn jacket Is soon mended. but hard
words bruise the heart OF a child.
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27
MEN CALL WOMAN A MYSTERY.

SO She is to Thorn-Not so 20 Woman
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27
GATARRH CURED

Troubled For Two Years and Health
Very Poor.
Il was troubled with catarrh for two
years and my health became very poor. I
heard SO much about Hoods Sarsaparllla
that decided to try it and after taking
Few bottles I was entirely cured" All.
McDermmot. IS Bolton St. Marlboro. Mass.
Hoods Ss enr1,i.
Jhe oes'-in fact IL One True Blood Purifier.
Hoods Pills SSg Isa .ss.s' ,P4issssion
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

hoods Pills SGTS sa assss'' iF9s ss
Virginia gazette. [volume] (Williamsburg, Va.) 1893-192?, 1897-11-27

In all taken four bottles medicine
a.
medicine d
The herald., 1897-05-16

Wilson bill to so.s7 per cent in the senate
bill. 1t was only 6o.e1 in the Mckinley
act. The Dingley schedule made the
duty on yarns run from 15 to IS cents per
pound. On machinery generally the
house schedule Of IS per cent Is made a
per cent in the senate bill. Both the Will
son and Mckinley acts made the rate
45 per cent.
On hops. a direct product Of the farm,
the house rate Of e72o per cent is lowered
to 1915. Still wines are dropped from
81. 20 to 46.s5 per cent. Hemp comes down
from 1852 to 1914 per cent.
This is as far as the Republican mem
bers of the ways and means committee
Of the senate. who alone are responsible
for all changes made in the bill sent up
from the house, consented to let the peo-
pie know what they have done. The rest
of the bill IL kept locked UP in the star
chamber secrets, under which the work
Of revision was carried on. They are
probably letting us down easy. And If
the rest Of the changes manifest the
same subservient regard for monopoly
interests as these. and the same blind
to the interests Of the farm
ers and consumers of the country, they
had better let us down very easy. A lit
tie of this sort of thing makes heavy
burden Of bad news.
The herald., 1897-05-16

Of American citisens whose minds are
LIN . state Of doubt ~ to who was
elected president and ~ to who conn
poses the government.
There Is a change Of sentiment since
last November and there is q halting
opinion on the part Of thousands who
are keenly ON the lookout for more light.
When General Alger's report on San
Pedro harbor is made public they will see
the light. II IL likely to be OF the cal
cium order and to reveal Mr.. c. p. Hunt
ington snugly ensconced behind the
throne.
Yes. hire twenty-acre lot on Inde-
pendence Day. There are many thou
sands who will wish to- hear the In
comparable orator speak Of the prin-
ciples Of free government and explain
how much more dangerous to our insti-
tutions is the malign influence Of grasp
ing trusts and monopolies than any for
eign foe the secret council Of unknown
fate could conjure up against US.
The herald., 1897-05-16
The Cry of the Hungry

Now the summer returns in its glory again
With the promise of joy to the children of
men,
For the earth in her fullness so lavish and
free
Is abud and abloom for the harvest to be;
And it speaks of season Of plenty and
peace,
When the woe and the want Of humanity
cease;
All, but bark! o'er the meadows Of bios
som and song
To the cry Of the hungry that's waited
along:
"Give us bread. give US bread, for we
famish and die
In the bounteous land Of our fathers
renown!
Hear the cry Of our loved ones ascend upon
high,
And tremble. We mighty. your pride shall
come down."
Shall the child be deprived Of its raiment
and fare
In land that has plenty, and millions to-
spare?
To the God of our fathers we pray, and we
plead
From the gloom Of our sorrow, the depths
of our need,
For a way to redeem and to succor and
save
Ere the children Of grief shall seek rest in
the grave
For the army. increasing. is marching
along,
Keeping time to the chorus. and this is its
song:
"Give us bread, give US bread, for we
famish and die
In the bounteous land Of our fathers
renown!
Hear the cry of our loved ones ascend upon
high,
And tremble. We mighty, your pride shall
come DOWN.
'Tis drop from the bucket, crumb from
the feast
Will suffice for the need Of the lowest and
least;
IT'S the price of a soul. it is little indeed,
But it's hope or despair to brother in
need;
The herald., 1897-05-16
MORE BEET SUGAR FACTORIES

Southern California Is pre-eminently
the beet sugar country Of the United
States in fact of the world. No other
country produces beets containing so
high q percentage Of sugar, as those
grown in this section. No other
country can produce sugar beets so as
to keep the factory running so many
months in the year.
The Chino sugar beet factory fully
demonstrates the correctness Of this
position and the experiments made at
Los Alamitos and the growing Of beets
at Anaheim and in Ventura county is
cumulative evidence in the same direc-
ton.
Other localities are desirous Of engag-
ing in the same business. A movement is
now on foot for factory in the Antelope
valley under the flow Of the Little Rock
Creek Irrigation system About twenty
acres Of sugar beets have been planted
in that section this year to test the quail
ity Of the beets. Hon. w. s. Melick of the
Lancaster Gazette took an active part
in getting the seed and having it dis
tributed for these experiments. The
money is ready to put up the factory
as soon as these experiments are made
to the satisfaction Of the capitalists.
The Herald is in receipt Of inquiries
as to what other community having
enough land suited to the sugar beet is
desirous Of helping to establish factory.
Ten thousand acres of good sugar beet
land in a body is necessary for such an
undertaking. and it must be owned by
persons who can be relied upon to raise
beets for the factory. The Herald will
assist any such locality in securing
factory by placing the owners Of the
land in correspondence with the parties
proposing to erect the factory.
The herald., 1897-05-16

But with little learnin' lowed to keteh
on to the same.
You know the luck beginners have-he had
1t like them all
And 1t was nearly daylight fore his pile
began to fall.
When the game began to down him-it
downs us all, at last
Then his lips began to shake and his hands
to tremble fast,
And when the dealer reached across and
drew in his last stack.
The tears was runnin' down his cheeks-he
couldn't keep 'em back. e
my God" heard him murmur, my last,
last dollar gone,
My wife and children. penniless. will surely
starve at home" s.a
Then kind neighbor's proffered loan,
stack of chips. disdains
And pulls a pistol from his coat and spat-
ters us with brains.
This ain't no morgue. you sniveling fool!
so Limpin' Billy swo.e.
AS he jumps up and grabs the corpse and
chucks 1t out he door.
On Lmpin Billy's furniture today remains
the stain,
But worse than that. we old hands thought,
1t almost stopped the game.
w. MP.
The herald., 1897-05-16

Will ye grant It today. ere the evening
When the voice that is asking shall ever
be dumb?
And the sound that shall haunt you, the
sad, wailing song
Is the cry Of the hungry, still sweeping
along:
"Give US bread. give US bread, for we
In the bounteous land of our fathers
renown!
Hear the cry Of our loved ones ascend upon
high,
And tremble, ye mighty. your pride shall
come DOWN.
When the gliding Of wealth shall asunder
be torn,
And the woes and the wrongs by their au-
thor be borne;
On that day the oppressed and oppressor
shall meet,
And the laurel shall wreathe the sad brow
of defeat.
But the waiting is long in this bondage
accursed,
For our hands they are empty. our souls
are athirst,
And our ears are assailed as we struggle
along
BY the cry to the hosts Of oppression and
and wrong:
"Give US bread. give US bread. for we
famish and die
In the bounteous land Of our fathers
renown!
Hear the cry Of our loved ones ascend upon
high,
And tremble. ye mighty, your pride shall
come d0wn!"
20. T. FELLOWS.
Pasadena, Cal, May 13. 1897.
The herald., 1897-05-16
The Gamblers Story
Gan Arizona Idyl.)

Limpin' Billy's place was full, and the
stakes was runnin' high,
For 1t was payday in the camp, and mid
night by the sky;
There was roulette and faro, and stud
poker tables, too,
And back and forth across the green the
red and white chips flew.
Billy's place was all-hred tony. with cane
bottom chairs and mats,
And tin spittoons and mirrors, anSa place
to hang the hats;
There warn't no KILN there allowed, and
every dern galloot
Was on his best behavior, fer Limpin' Bill
would shoot.
With the bankers chirpin' lively, and the
gold dust rolling in,
And the markers callin' cases keepin' UP
an awful din,
The swingin' doors was opened, and there
entered, and set down
Along with Billy's steerer, q newcomer
In the town.
A spick and span new tenderfoot, who
didn't know the game.
The herald., 1897-05-16
A Good Choice

Governor Budd has made q good choice
in appointing Abbot Kinney Of Los An
geles to fill the vacancy on the Yosemite
commission. Abbot Kinney has made a
speciality of such work as is needed in the
Yosemite, and has, besides. the advan-
tage Of being a man of brains and cour-
age. The late unlamented senate made
the fact that Mr.. Kinney had criticised
the legislature ground for forcing the
withdrawal of his name as a trustee'of
the whittier reform school. The senate
succeeded in depriving the state of the
services of capable and energetic man
in one place where he was needed, but
he can be useful In another.-San Fran
cisco Examiner. -.
The herald., 1897-05-16
HIRE A TWENTY-ACRE FIELD

The advice to the fellow who wants to
talk to hire a hall will not fill the bill
for Fourth Of July. The people who
will want to hear Mr.. Bryan cannot
be packed into any hall In the State.
Without any lack Of reverence it may be
said that like another Great Reformer
whose teachings guide the world after
lapse Of 1000 years. the common peo-
pie" hear this leader OF the Democratic
hosts gladly, although the great and
powerful who are not in sympathy with
the people, and care nothing for popu-
lar rights are not very enthusiastic over
the rigorous and logical attacks he
makes upon wrong doing and wrong
doers. Never did an orator draw such
crowds as Bryan drew last fall and he
will now draw larger crowds than ever.
The teachings were rather new in
our generation during the campaign.
The opposition was in the field warning
the people Of dire disaster sure to fol-
low the election of the Democratic stan
dard bearer, and Of roseate promises of
prosperity while you wait" the mo-
ment Mckinley was declared elected.
A great many voters feared the pro-
phecy of Ill. and many more half be-
lieved that of good.
The little Napoleon Of high tariff not
only has been elected, but he has been
seated in the presidential chair. On top
of this he has his congress at his back
and assembled in special session. His
great lieutenant Car Reed is seated
on his throne in the house of representa-
tives and has dictated his tariff bill ex-
actly as the program was cut and dried.
Three months are almost gone since the
advance agent Of prosperity was inaug-
urated and it is nearly seven months
since all fear Of Mr.. Bryan's election
was set aside by the popular vote. The.
great hopes have not materialized and
many think their fears were as ground
less as their hopes. There is a change
Of continent. Suppose the new president
were in office only on trial, and that the
election were to take place to-day. Who
thinks Mr.. Mckinley would win on his
slender majorities in the few states
that turned the scale in his favor? 1t
seems to many that the man with
the cooked hat on his head has met his
Waterloo.
With the sugar trust debating the
tariff on sugar. the manufacturers die
tating the tariff off wool and hides, the
foreign importers successful in their
battle against fruits so far as any op-
position from the Republican party as
whole goes. with a great railroad mo-
nopoly, greedy and INSCRIPTIONS, TAX
ing the war department by the throat
and choking the life out Of it, while a
great public work lies neglected and q
law OF congress is set at naught-in
view of these developments there are
more than a struggling corporal's guard
The herald., 1897-05-16
pialntheism are not likely to lead to any

pAntheiDm are not likely 10 lead TO any
good results among US.
We do not propose here to discuss
religion as q revelation at all. That il
the province Of the pulpit. But what
comes forward under the guise Of public
education Is something the public are
concerned In. Besides, revelation out Of
the question. the Hebrew and Christian
scriptures, end the systems founded on
them. are so far and away above all other
religions, that comparison IL out Of the
bounds Of sober reason.
We are prone to sneer at the stern.
cold Puritanism OF the past. It is a
thing Of the past. never to return, but
there was q rugged stamina, severe
morality about it. that made It a great
vehicle for the education Of great men.
Even in the pure religion whose corner
stone IL the Ten Commandments. and
whose crown and ornament is the Ser
mon on the Mount, both intoxicating in
no uncertain tones reverence for author
ity, just dealing between man and man,
sincere and truthful habit of speech,
and personal purity Of life, all made vital
by the purest spiritualism, there is need
OF safeguards, that even this may not
wreck humanity. Even here the doc
trine OF vicarious atonement made efii-
cacious by death-bed repentance must
be Offset by the rigid doctrine Of per-
sonal responsibility or It may lead to
fatal carelessness Of action, and beget
a haccid immortality detrimental to all
manliness and virtue.
And when we come to our own day
where all forms of religion are called in
question by thousands Of men and wo-
men. this matter Of moral education be-
comes one Of prime Importance. Religion
4 synonym Of Education? Why there
are thousands Of houses where religion
in any form is as unknown as a rose at
the north pole, or ice on the surface Of
the sun. Religious teaching is out OF
the question in our public schools. and
must be 80. II religion is the synonym
of education, how are the children Of
those houses to be reached Moral train.
ng apart from fixed forms Of religion is
not by any means impossible. but
to accomplish this are in very
backward conditions Of development, as
a general rule. Nearly all education
was closely connected with religion until
LOO years ago, and much of 1t is so con-
nected now. Hence moral education has
been more or less neglected outside of
The home and Of the definitely religious
school.
II women Of intelligence and refine
ment, in congresses and out of them. will
take this matter in hand they can do more
good than will be accomplished in 1000
years by eclectic symposiums with rude,
narrow-minded and bad tempered Bra
II it is ever we'll done, women
will do it. The mothers Of the world have
lone more than all the priests and
preachers Of the world to make moral
men and great men.
If high minded women Of strong char
acter will make their way into the homes
where morals are not known, and where
is imbibed from the mothers
breast, and learned from every word
hat falls from the fathers lips. and i.
hese women will let the Hindoo go his
way, and give their thoughts to mark
ng out some system of joint moral in
truction in the schools, they will do a
.oble work, and one that needs doing.
The herald., 1897-05-16
NV Wav

Don't swaller 1t, young man, when ye git
mad
But eff ye've done it. take emetic, quick,
Fore ye git sick. to wish and wish ye had ;
Don't let 1t tester. show 'em how to kick.
When l git mad l spit 1t out. We see?
Not spitefully, but straight. Jest as It 10.
Ell it's man then can easy be; ssi
When tbs my wife end up with kiss.
ID. NJ
Carpinteria, CAL, May 10. 1907.