Birmingham state herald., 1897-02-26
LIGHTNING FLASHES"
From the Sulligent Lightning.

II iOhi lic oulilStul Lightning.
 While they are usually not railroad presidents, yet some depot agents, who may probably receive salary of $15 per month, can cause people who know no better to believe they own the railway systems of the union It is harassing to see an agent clothed in a little brief au- thority and pair of summer pantaloons sit in his chair and answer questions as though he did it as side line and that 1t was not his regular business.
 There is a holy calm of unbemished at- mosphere surrounding some agents, and it is as difficult to- obtain informa ton from some of them as it is to prevent old maids from falling in love with young men.
 Poor agents! I do not censure them for telling nothing and acting as though they were surrounded by mystery. They can't tell anything because their swivel led noggins contain no knowledge. It would be sin for a school to charge them $3 a month for tuition, when, at the utmost, only 19c. worth of learning can enter their heads.
 I used to stand in awe before depot agents. Awe is not a good thing to stand in, but sometimes 1t is the only alterna- tive. I have seen them work a telegraph key nearly to death and then be an hour drawing bucket of water. l have heard them say nothing in their office, even when questioned, and afterwards go home and rave because the wife had ac- cidentally scorched the biscuit.
 Frequently the railroad superinten- dent or its president becomes dumb and paralyzed when they dare speak to the great and authoritative agent without having first informed the agent of their identity. It runs the presidents blood cold to witness the frigidity of an agent at some one-horse station. Ii sometimes causes an overcoat to be comfortab ble in ! July. But be it said to the credit of the agent that he becomes very voluble when he discovers that his questioner is his roads president or superintendent. The whyfore of this thusness is not why-for- able. Philosophers have never explained it.
 It is a pleasure to find an agent who does not belong to the above class, one who is social and inclined to tell you many things that are not true. -Fe
 s. D. Naughter, a gentleman with a smooth-shaven, pink face and pair of black, half-soled trousers of Carbon Hill, was in sulligent last week.
 s. M. Lee, of near Detroit, a gentle- man who raises his own cornbread and pig, and who used to raise his children when they were small, was in this rem dezvous few days past
 Sulligent has splendid private, tele- graph line, and young operators are as thick as mud If person spits in an in- discreet manner on the streets 1t is liable to drown an operator.
 John Ling screwed up his courage enough last week to visit the editor and carpet the office floor with copper cents to pay for Lightning va5n .si5
 Miss Florence Hill, of Crews. has been spending several days with friends here recently. Already do the hearts of sev- eral young men thump like the pump of an air-brake when they see her.
 w. K Thurman. of Crews, was in Sul- 1igent Saturday, buying raffie tickets and winning feather beds.
 Allen Holiday, formerly of this county, but now of St. Louis, has had the temer- ity to get married a few days ago, wed- ding the widow Herman. of that city.
 David Renon Brown, young lad from the Bedford locality, stalked through the streets of Sulligent Saturday., He is a very bright boy, and already knows more than his pa.
 c. Armstrong; of Detroit. was in, Sul- gentlemun and if he wasn't so everlast- ingly ugly, would be pretty. But. alas!
 John l.. Guthrie, becoming tired of his effort to bud respectable mustache, has sensibly had what little accumulation he had grown in that line thrown to the four winds of the earth and his face is now as hairless as an opossum's tail.