Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1897-03-07

through worked buttonholes near II
the greatest desires Of my life by visiting
the great metropolis. In other words,
/ l have done New York-that is. 1 ala IL
when the New Workers were not doing
/ me- The night / reached the city II was
too late TO proceed TO the apartments
which / had previously engaged-to wit
zone furnished room, at 81 per
week" l succeeded in securing lodging
at an uptown hotel, at - cents per
lodge. The proprietor, after having eyed
me from head to feet, closed the bargain
by saving. please don't blow out the
gas" / was then shown to my room by the
porter. 1t was an elaborate affair, about
four feet square. In few moments my
nocturnal toilet was arranged and l was
about to retire when lol my eyes rested
upon a huge coil of rope, hanging just
above my washstand. L did not know
whether it was for the purpose Of har-
Messing nightmares, or a modern con-
venience for those contemplating suicide.
In order to ascertain its real use. 1 called
the porter, who informed me that it was
4 fire-escape. Adjusting the same, after
the manner of a Hfe-preseryer, you then
lower yourself to the ground; by the
means of a pulley. which you generally
find screwed TO the window SILL II stu
remains puzzle to me what I would
have done in case of fire, as the only
means Of obtaining light in my room was
through skylight ten feet from the
floor The next day L started out early
for the purpose of securing a position
with some dramatic organization. / was
directed to a dramatic exchange on Four
teenth street. l then plodded my way
TO the abOve-named place, not noticing
that there was a labor exchange in the
N..an - -
the last-named place, and informed the
manager that l was seeking a position
on the stage. He informed me that 1
was the very man that he was looking
for, as l had every appearance Of a man |
born for the stage. young man." he
remarked, Il can place you I'm the morn /
ing" The next morning, to my amaze /
ment, / found that he had placed me as 4
a conductor on one Of the Fifth-Avenue /
stages. AS the place did not reach my /
ideal. I secured a position at one Of the /
"Bowery dime museums" My duty there |
was to lie at the fat woman's feet and /
pose as an Egyptian mummy 1000 |
years old. The living skeleton was !
jealous of me, and on one occasion, when |
the lecturer was explaining me TO the |
public, he threw q handful OF snuff IN
my face and made me sneeze. Just think
OF a mummy 1000 years old sneezlng! |
OF course, i lost my job
Speaking of dime museums reminds me
of an incident that happened the other
day. i was standing in front of a mu-
scum the other day. looking at the pic
lures, when two young men came and
stood just opposite, laughing heartily at
me. Finally one said TO the other,
Come on and let's so in" when the other
said, What IS the use? | have seen
enough outside" Some things are cheap
er In New York than in Richmond; for
instance. l went into cigar store TO
purchase a package of cigarettes, for |
which / gave the clerk cents. He in
return gave one box OF matches, one
package of cigarettes, l cent, and a
beautiful red necktie
Dear reader If you should ever wander
along Fourteenth street in the neighbor-
hood Of Third avenue YOU will pass a
'curio hall" where the admission is
only cents. DO not let the price Of adj
mission deceive you, as il did me- II
cost me a good round 70 cents
and inexpressible embarrassment 10 get
out. In order TO make matters more
plain / will state the facts in the case.
one evening after supper l went out for
a walk, with only cents in my pock-
cts, the other portion of my wealth
being secreted about my person. Per-
'ectly innocent OF what would befall me-
paid my little cents and entered. A
gentleman Of many words and much po-
iteness stopping me al once as green
norm. proceeded in beautiful English TO
explain TO me the many curiosities which
he hall contained. He finished by show
ng me into a room where everything
phrenology. Offering me a seat
nc began at once to examine my head. |
AS a phrenologist, I mean" closing by
saying. "Only so cents. sir" 1 nearly
ainted, as l had TO partly disrobe in or
Ter TO get my purse. Leaving the room
Utmost breathless, another gentleman |
landed me a curious-l looking thing,
which he requested me 10 hold for a few
moments, remarking that IL was one of
he greatest inventions OF the age. Ii
vas an instrument for testing the condi-
hin. sir only 10 cents, thank you" 1
fied TO escape further persecution by /
eaving the building On my way TO the
oor l passed two gentlemen who were
lolding two bars that were attached 10
ne OF Edison's latest electric batteries.
NE third gentleman requested me to take
old OF the other two gentleJnen's hands,
Witch I readily did, he rernarking TO
hem that the effect was wonderful. Ad-
ressing me, he said: Thank you. sir; {
My 10 cents; here is your fortune. sir;
anding me ridiculous thing printed on
small piece OF paper.
The NEST bitter experience that had {
While in New York was occasioned by