The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1897-08-19
SALTWATER MINNESOTA THURSDAY, 10,

What we lost, by this charitable act
was fully recovered week later from
the monarchs of Wall street.
Arriving in New York we imme-
diately began operations. We visited
the board of trade, stock exchange and
innumerable brokers, and finally we
found broker in whom we believed
we could rely. He was man we'll
along in years and had spent about a
quarter of a century in and around
Wall street. A few years before he
was rated as millionaire and had few
equals as successful manager in large
enterprises. Laying our propositions
before him, he agreed to assist us.
Our broker soon brought us just the
information we were looking for.
Hearing that Lsg corner was about to
be made in October wheat, he advised
us to authorize him to buy at once.
We ordered him to buy everything in
sight, and if necessary employ a few
trusty brokers of his acquaintance to
assist him so as to not attract too much
attention.
The following day wheat began to
rise and before the close of the next
day the brokers employed by the clique
were shouting at the top of their voices
for more wheat.
"Bill, hadn't we better let go?" l
whispered, as the price began to go up.
"What! let co. replied Bill, looking
as though he would like to throw me
out of the bull" ng," why things are
just becoming interesting. Have pa
tience and we will soon burn up the
market"
We bought tremendous amount of
wheat at 6415 and when the market
arose to 884 We commenced letting
them have it in blocks of five thousand.
My but what slump. With all their
combined millions they still couldn't
hold the market. Down, down she
went with crash. Old Moneybags,
who never loosened his purse strings
until assured of a dead sure thing,
ground his false teeth into atoms, as
he saw his millions swiftly slip away
Mr.. Never-Shed a. Tear looked as though
someone turned the hose on him. the
perspiration came rolling off his bald
pate in big drops. When the crash
came he dropped so hard that the jani-
tor was called upon to gather him up
with broom and dustpan.'
The rest of the clique were rapidly
taken to the hospital. The doctors of
that institution at first wouldn't admit
them, for they were still yelling for
more wheat, and they had all the
outward signs of something being
loose in their upper story. In fact the
only thing loose about them was their
purse strings.
Being quite near the stock exchange
the next morning, we dropped in.
All appeared looking very neat. Ap-
preaching the Janitor we compli.
mented him on fne general cleanliness
of the building.
"Clane!' said he, Eye should O. been
here lasht noight. Th' place looked like
a BARRIERS college where lot ov ould
wimen hild a convinshun. Some O.
tn Numbers O. the stock bOord lost so
mooch money yesterday that they
must O. shid their whiskers for want
of t'ars."
Our identity was still unknown.
The brokers whom we had employed
were hailed as Napoleons of finance
and received all the glory as we'll as
thousand or more letters asking for
money to help civilize the heathens in
foreign lands. We received the cash
and you may rest assured that the
starving, half-fed heathens right in
New York received every cent of it.
After visiting quite number of char.
liable institutions and making suitable
allowances for the same, we embarked
for globe-trotting tour of several
months or years, as we saw fit, hoping
to return at some future time to do
business on more extensive scale.
JASPER.