The National tribune. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1877-1917, 1897-10-14
Pussonal Rekoliekshuns of an Army Cook.
The War Viewed from the Rear

depart from him. Dat means dat if Won skin
a fool alive yit his hide'will be jest ez full oh
blamed nonsense ez ebber. Umfatically. dat
is de case when his foolery takes deshape OBJ
being stuck on his own good looks an style.
an he sets ont tub be lady-killer The
only sure cure den is tub plant him under six
feet oh stiff clay III n country graveyard An
tuh make sartin, it ought tub be one whar
dar amt no women buried.
DatSyas de great trouble wild de flip Majah.
He could no more see fine looking woman
without trying tub mash her wild his doll face
an dancin master ways dan ne could Jump n
quarter of a mile My land, de fixes dat got
him inter, from Bull Run to AppomattOx.
An he larDed nOthin' from dem. lie was no
sooner outen one dan he was inter anudder,
an he was just as bad on de march home
from Richmond Ell he WIZ when he went on
tub de Peninsula Fur de text it ser dat
though you bray fool i'll a mortar yit will
his foolishness not depart from him
We WIZ layin' out by Fairfax Courthouse
watchin' dat Mosby diddent slip inter Wash
ington an carry OFF de War Department
One day Ell | WIZ bringin' a kttle OBJ watch
from de crick / come acrost de flip Majah
ridn' around tub sun his new uniform, an
OBJ his double breasted coat A peart, sassy
lookin' woman, riding clay-bank mare wild
a white blaze in her face, cum meanderin'
down de road.
De minnit de flip Majah done seen her he
stiffened up like darnin' needle stuck in a
board, an cantered up tub meet her. Dey
come togedder jest fernenst whar / wuz rest
in for an hour or two, an / heared ebbery-
thing what passed betwix dem.
GOOD mOrnin', Madam. y ser he. pullin'
off his cap an bowin' an smilin' at her Ell if
she WIZ pie. "Wuz you lookin' for some
one?i'
" I'm lookin for the Commandin' Ossefer
oh desc here men, sez She
. hab dat honor" SEE de flip Majah,
swelin' up till could he II de seams in his
coat crack De Kunnel had went ODER tub
brigade headquarters.
N.Y." seq she, what fiHe-lookin' gem
men sometimes do come down here wild dis
Nordern trash"
Dat WIZ layin' it on nifty thick fur de fust
dash, but she done see wild one look OBJ dem
sharp eyes OBJ hern dat she could lay on de
soft soap wild shovel
We've got tub send down our best lookin
men tub match de ladies what we find here,
SEE de flip Maiah, bowin' an GRIMM Like
niggeh waiter who expects silver quarter.
II sartinly diddent expect tub find 50
agreeable gentleman when | started fur de
camp" SEE she. g l wuZ powerful Skeered,
for de Yankee men air jinerally jest horrid
creatures"
. No man could help bein' agreeable tuh
SIGH charmin' woman ez you air" SEE de
flip Majah, an den dey bowed an grinned at
one annuder till / wuz sick / had tub git
up an bang Caliber 90 wild a rock tub relieve
my mind.
8 In what way kin be oh saryice tub yo,'
MADAME" SEE de Majah
My cousin, Nanny Blake. what lives near
Vienny, is sick, an / want tub send her
some little things dat she needs, by Uncle
Cesar, our ole house servant, an | want
pass fob him by all de guards, an strict
orders not tub tech what ebber he may carry.
You Yankees are a powerful hongry lot.
Your Government keeps you half starved all
de time Nothin' to eat is safe within 10
miles OBJ your creaeher's hands. /"
De orders is quite strict bout gibin
passes,' SEE de Majah, hesitatin' like
Oar, dat's alluz de way wild you men,"
SEE she snappishly. "AIl full OBJ fiummery
an palayer, till it comes tub gittin' you tub
really do sumfin', an den it's frost at wunst.
Ez ii your ole nigger-loyin Government ID
60 tub destruction, bekase a POI sick gal got
some goodies dat her stummick craved.
Cousin Nanny can't eat muffin but some OBJ
my cookin'. You don't know what cook
am. You jest come out tub my house some
ebenin' an take supper wild me. I'll glib you
sumfn' quite difrunt from what desc greasy
niggers bile up"
If orders wuzzent so strict" SEE de flip
Majah, an / see he WIZ a goner.
thought you wuz a difrunt kind oh a
man from de udders," said she, scornful like.
g said dat ez soon ez laid eyes on you. /
amt often deceived in men, but it seems dat
/ am dis timen
Dis wuz de last stroke.
De flip Majah fdgeted round in his sad
die, an at last he SEE, srzz.e.
Dis Government amt maxim war on
women. De orders don't mean dat. Dis is
a case OBJ needcessity an marcy, an I'll glib
you de pass"
l got up and banged caliber Go wild anudder
rock
''Thank you, Jineral," says she, as she
took the pass. - knowed you wuz chival-
rous gentleman ez soon Ell | seen you. /
want tub get better acquainted wild you.
Won't you come out to-morro' ebenin' an
TAKE supper VIA lie
"I'll be only too happy, I" SEE de flip Majah,
pressin' his hand wild his cap in it tub his
heart, and THROWN sleeps eyes at her.
l frowed all the rocks in the neighborhood
at Caliber 90, Ell she rid off, an den went an
tole Mistuh Joe all about it.
Ode Maiah's maxim fool OBJ himself
agin,' SEE Mistuh Jo ''.He haint no right
tub glib sich pass. Dat woman's up tub sum-
fin, sho's you're foot high. Well jest 90
outside the camp gyard and lay for dat niger
afore he reaches de pickets, an see what he's
totin'"
We all went outside the camp guards on de
Vienny road, pertendin' dat we wanted tub
bile our cloze by de branch dar We did set
de close tub bilin', but some OBJ Us KEEP close
watch Ola de road
Towards ebenin' smart nigger-no ole
uncle at all, but a lively field hand, worth
81 800 any day for cotton picker, come
pibin' long de road ez if he wuz goin' some
whar, an wuz in a hurry tub git dab. He
had basket on his arm.
Halt, dar!" says Mistuh 10, steppin' in
front OBJ him, an bringn' his gun up.
OATS all right, massa SEE he. Else got
a pass tieah it is, " an he stuck out the
Majah's .i.,nd-write.
Dat don't go wild u.s." said Mistuh 10.
g 1t does for common guards. but we outrank
dem. What you got in dat ere basket"
Dis pass SEE you amt tub tech muffin in
de basket, 7" SEE de niger.