davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
DRAWN. the Line.

No, " said the young woman with the
standing collar and the lawn tie, II
cannot follow the dictates Of my heart.
[ cannot marry him." I@s
"Why not ?" inquired her confdante.
THE difference in our positions is
toe great" .s 1...
Love should be capable of any sac
rifice,
IT suppose so. But cannot forget
that my position pays me $25 a week,
while he gets only $12." -Washington
Star. .*tas: H. =
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Choosinr, a. En,iIitnnh.

p Bereaved Widow-I want something
short and simple for my husbands
tombstone. ...r...,.. 49,, i.-.c.}+
Dealer-How do you like "Re-
surgam?" T. <
Rereaved Widow-What does that
mean? j "'tA va a. '2@t r%s-< s
Dealer-1 shall rise again. 4:
Bereaved Widow-No, make it ''Rest
In Peace."-N. Y. Truth. Il. Y
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
A Savage NetOrt.

. 49, "oe' ).
During heated discussion with his
wife Harlem man said: E~g
{ 20 these women! They are response
BILE for most of the evils in this world. y
S Il know of one evil that was brought
into this world by a woman, and she
was your mother" replied Mrs. Yerger:
-Tammany Times. ,-t
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
WOman's Inhumanfty to Mn

WOman's humanity to Man.
New Woman Simply because wom-
an marries man is no reason why she
should take his name.
Old Bachelor-That's so. The poor
fellow ought to be allowed to keep some
thing he could call his own.-Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Pat Was No Fool.

One of the surgeons of hospital
asked an Irish help what he considered
the most dangerous of the many cases
then in the hospital.
THAT, sir" said Patrick, as he point
ed to case of surgical instruments
lying on the table.-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
A Smart. Girl.

eyes," said the pretty typewriter, in
reply to her employers proposal OF
marriage, II will become your wife
upon one conditions
+. Name it, darling"
"That after we are married you will
employ man in my place."-N. Y.
World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Chance of Feature

Griggs-I tell you what it is, Slipper
has a great nose for investment; he
has recently acquired a water front.
'Briggs-Don't say? He must have
changed his nose since I saw him.
Richmond DISPATCH.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Correct.

Teacher-A rich man dies and leaves
$1,000, -one-fifth to his son, one
sixth to his daughter, one-seventh to
his wife, one-eighth to his brother, and
the rest to foreign missions-whatd does
each one get?
Little Willy Brieffs-A lawyer!-
p,loI
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
His Eye on the British.

''Now,, Willie" said the teacher to ths
second boy in the geography class, .'can
you tell me why it is that the sun never
sets on the queens dominion p
81 well, pa says there amt no te1lin'
what them fellers would do after dark. =
Chicago journal. 81.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
PQcifed.

IT'S that province pacitied?" asked
the Spanish general.
"Yes," replied the officer. Nov that
the inhabitants have whipped us for the
third time they seem quite contented."
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
He. Wasn't Losing Much.

Buggins-See here, porter, this mir
ror is so dusty can't see myself in it.
Porter (who has not been tipped by
Buggins)-S Strikes me yo' ought to be
mighty thankful, sab, std O. maxim a
fuss about tn. Y. Truth.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
A Considerable Husband.

She-Here you come home drunk in
broad daylight. Aren't you ashamed OF
yourself?
He-An on your account, Sarah.
thought you would be more scared If
I came home at night in thish dish
graceful condition.-Tammany Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
The Sale of q Famous Mine.

Inc SdAe OF q F0mOU8 NINE.
One of the most famous mines in
Leadville was the Robert E. Lee. It's
promise was discovered when the vein
or deposit was first struck, but for
some reason or other people did not
take kindly to it, and the owners tried
in vain to sell an. interest. A gentle
man who happened to have few hun
dred dollars was besought to take a
third of it for $500. He studied the
matter, and, deeming the venture too
risky, declined. The Lee was pockety
mine, and some of the. pockets con-
tanned rich ore. To effect sale the
owners wagered, that they would take
81 100000 worth of ore out of the mine
in "a hours. By great good luck they
discovered few rich pockets and won
the bet. After this there was no diff.
Guilty in selling the mine for $780,.
OO0. San Francisco Chronicle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Ple0aure'

Pleasure's Byvvay.
Chappies who lead rapid lives
Find with quite shock
That the road is very short
From champagne to hook.
Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
HOW HE GOT 1T.

Mandy-What an awful big hump
that camel has.
! Uncle Cross sCornerHe must have
got it riding bike.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
An Appropriate WO1

An ApprOpriate Word.
The Count hat made to your daugh'
ter a-what you call it-proposition-
proposal?
Her Father-H'm. think proposi.
ton sounds more like business.-Brook.
Ign Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Wiser Methods

Dorothy is always cultivating peo-
pie who she thinks will be of use to her
socially"
swell, so do you"
Yes; but I don't talk about it,
Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30

One thing about woman's Office
desk. she always keeps it neat and
Observation-Disclosures Democrat.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Only. nea,alOlma ble.

is it that you are charg-
Ing such tremendous prices for ice? I
understand that there is plenty of it
after all.
Dealer Yes; but see how we had to
worry about It all last winter, when wa
thought there would be none. You
don't suppose we can worry like that
md not charge for II, DO you? Pup To
? 1. s.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
In Chicago.

20, mamma" the beautiful girl exclaimed,
"he ,adores me SO, and he is so noble and
handsome, and"
Eyes, my child"
"And he brings such lovely references
from his last wife,
Mother and daughter mingled their tears
of joy. Presently they grew somewhat
calmer and were able to speak of trousseaus
and things.-Detroit journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Reaping the whirlvint

n Reaping the Whirlvind. -
We pity q man who is poor in old age,
When often-'tis sadly the truth
The hard lot he suffers was rashly
brought on f''' ~
BY the soft time he had in his youth. 81
detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30

Intelligence is largely in knowing what we
do not know.-Ram's Horn.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
The Guilty Party

= The Guilty Party.
Grigson-What clergyman was it
that solemnized your marriage?
=: Flippard-It wasn't clergyman at
all. It was Mrs. F.'s mother.-Boston
TRANSCRIPT.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Those Dear Girls. I

Willie Watkins told me I was .
peach" ..l3 assB
Il wonder if he referred to that fuzz
on your chin. 2 Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Al Wnman Arm

Mrs: Jones is a very observing woman"
said Harlem woman, referring to her hus:
Il guess you are right about it. I noticed
last Sunday in church that she was clothes
observer" responded her husband, cynic-
ally.-Tammany Times.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
"FROSTED HIS PIPES"
The Troubles of a Culprit in = Justice
ShOD.

'Ine IfOuDleS OF a Cu1pf1t In u y QSt1Ce
Shop.
He was sorry-looking specimen as he
climbed YEARLY up to the witness chair in
Justice Severson's court. His eyes were
discolored and his features awry. He raised
bunged looking fist as he took the oath to
tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing
but the truth, "swelpimgod." His voice was
one Of the queerest, in the world. It was
seemed doubly comical coming from such a
husky-looking specimen.
"Speak up" shouted his honor; whats
the matter with your voice?'
"Me pipes is frosted, judge, your HONOR
squeaked the prisoner.
the court ro :tW VIVA was it all about?" N~
''Well, We see, judge, your honor, went
home to play wit my kid. Dye see now?
Me mother-in-law she kicks. Dye see now?
| says, here, now, I'm goin' to play wit the
kid. Me an her we got to chewin' about
the kid an she gives out boiler. A copper
comes chasin' in an when goes to explain
he grabs me pipes and twists EN-. Say,
was to hang for it."
''How about this, officer?" said the Judge.
<sThe two of 'em was fghtin', Judge, and l
separated 'em," replied the guardian of the
"Where is your mother-in-law?" said the
court
That lady stepped forward calm and with,
out mark on her face.
James," said the court, addressing the
gentleman with the frosted pipes, you seem
to have gotten the worst of that mix-up.
Don't let it occur again. Call the next case.
Discharged. "-Chicago Chronicle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
DisEusted.

Bobby, dear, did you know the stork
came and left you a dear, little baby
brother last night?'' i $S II s3,a&I
"Rats! wish the old thing had left
me bicycle!"- -Cycling Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30

ness serious? "a.
Henpect- Well, ! suppose it ID from
her point Of view. Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30

No Pity for the Poet.
Don't you think young Porticus IL
q budding genius? ?" X
NO; think he is more of a bloom
ing idiot. "-Ph iladelphi Bulletin.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
:. 81 - q -
Easily Corrected.

Angry Mother-How dare you tell
your father that he is stupid! Go at
once and say that you are sorry. St
Little Willie I'm awfully sorry
you're stupid, papa!--N. Y. journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30
Hoods SarSapariIIa

ode Di11e do not cause pain or
w y L AAAo grippe. All druggists. sc.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-09-30

Not from His Viewpoint. &
Pennect Is your mother-in-law's ill.,
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
A MISFORTUNE BUT THEN

The indifference manifested by our gold bug
contemporaries to any decrease in the price Of
silver bullion, one of our great American
products racieves resounding whack at the
hands OF the Washington %. CO. Post, a
Mckinley organ last year. Here's what il
says:
The enormous stake which the nation has
in silver-in the coinage, in bullion, and in the
mints-should admonish patriotic citizens that
slump in the price of silver is not thing
for jokes. 1t seems to us that there is danger
in this assault on our currency. If kept up
with the present vigor it will have one of two
results-it will either break down the parity
and bring on panic or will give dangerous
strength to the fat heresy. The advocates Of
sound money, whether they believe in the
gold standard or in the international bimetal.
lism, are as much interested in silver as are
their opponents. Every decline in the price
of silver is misfortune to the government
and the people of the United States"
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30

in support of bis modest assertions. For
example, why should he not point with pride
to the fact that the steamer Nina has arrived
at San Francisco bringing from Sydney g..
600, 900 in gold to pay for wheat shipped from
California to EnglandH This, it is telegraphed,
is the second payment, the first being s2,25O,.
900 from the same source for this seasons
wheat crop. A moderate estimate places the
total which California will get from England
on wheat account at s25, 100000.
Who can doubt that all this wealth is due to
the Dingley tariff And if due to the Dingley
tariff, then to Mr.. Hanna, for he is responsible
for the Mckinley administration. Of course
it is obvious that whatever the Ohio farmers
have gained by high prices for wheat must be
attributed to the same cause that has set a
torrent of coin pouring in through the Golden
Gate.
If some lewd Democrat of the basel SOFT
should rise and rudely ask Mr.. Hanna whether
providence ought not to be given some share Of
the glory, since by the decree of heaven there
is famine in India, another imminent in Ire
land, and short crops everywhere except in
the United States, the senator can easily crush
him by saying that it is the worst possible
taste to introduce religion into politics. New
York Journal.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
Is 1T LOTS OR LITTLET

The quantitive theory OF money is either
true or 1t is not. That is, the amount of money
in circulation controls the price of all commo.
dities or it does not. There cannot be any
compromise of this proposition. 1t is neither
pant true and part false, but II must be all true
or all false. If the amount of money in
circulation does not control prices, that is, il
matters not whether there is much or little
money in circulation the price Of products IL
not controlled by it, then some other thing
must be the controlling factor in prices. That
the advocates of scarce money declare, IL
supply and demand. In other words the value
of thing depends on how much there is of il
and how much there is wanted. Everybody
knows that when thing is scarce II is dear
If the wheat crop is short either at home ol
abroad -four goes up" If horses catch the
"Epizooty" carriage doubles in price. When
labor is scarce and hard to get as in sparcely
settled communities wages are high. When
land is limited as in favorable localities in
cities, a few square feet are often worth q
fortune. ~
II the amount Of money in circulation doe.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
ALINCOLN ANARCHIST.

There were anarchists during the war when
measured by the standard set up by the Re-
publican gold bugs of today. Hon. William
Kellogg, of Illinois, friend of Lincoln and in
touch with him in all that pertained to the
preservation of the Union said in speech in
the House on February 0, 1862
Il am panied when / sit in my place in the
house and hear members talk about the
sacredness of capital. They will vote six
hundred thousand of the flower Of the Ameri.
can youth for the armyto be sacrificed without
blush, but the great interest of capital, OF
currency must not be touched. Before this
Republic shall go down l would take every
cent from the treasury of the states, from the
treasury of the capitalists, from the treasury Of
individuals and press it into the use of the
government. What is capital worth without
government"
What kind Of a Hanna Republican would
Kellogg maker The man that would sneer al
capital and question its right to existence when
the govern ment was in danger2
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
SOME OF THE BEAUTIES OF THE
DINGLEY ACT.

While we are under the Dingley law and
there is no probability of its repeal for two OF
more years at least, it may be Of interest to
note some of the conditions that will follow
the passage of this notorious measure One OF
the particular and most specious arguments of
the protectionists is that high tariff preserves
to the manufacturers Of this country the home
market. They might also say that the influx
of cheap labor to compete with the American
mechanics and workingmen is permitted with
out lit or hindrance under tho tariff acts,
which serves to give the manufacturers ample
opportunity to secure the cheapest of labor and
thereby derive the greatest profits from their
investments.
Yet we find that the English, German,
French and Swiss manufacturers, whose sales
have been curtailed by the exactions of the
Dingley act are making preparations to estab.
lish their factories in this country, bringing
with them their factory employees. These
foreign factories on American soil will not be
established for mere amusement. They expect
to reap part of the benefit now given to the
American manufacturer, and still retain theiI
home trade as we'll. In other words instead Of
being compelled to pay tariff to compete with
American manufacturers they propose to
divide the plunder on our own soil. Move
ments of that nature are already on foot that
will serve as benefit to the purchaser at the
expense of the American workmen, il thu
theory advanced by our high protective apos
ties is true. With this procedure we will have
a high tariff and no revenue and an incentiv,
to form trusts and combines that will destroy
the benefit of competition to our own con
| snmerg
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
WOULD THEY DARE?

Does any one suppose that an employe OF
| Mark Hanna would retain his place a minute
if he should speak above his breath in opposi.
ton to the Republican party2 If club was
organized in Cleveland consisting of Mark
Hannas street railroad employees in which
they would express their opinions as American
| citizens, that was not in accord with Hanna's
desires, how long would those employees retain
their positions? Not longer than telephone
message could reach the foreman of the street
railroad barns, Knowing this, can it be
supposed that Hanna's employees will do
anything to lose their jobs in these days of
prosperity when every avenue and opportunity
is closed to men out of work? Hanna knows
that every man in his employ is slave to his
whims and caprices. He knows jobs are
scarce and that he can dictate to every one of
his employees how to vote He knows that if
they do not obey him in the slightest wish
that he can cut off their workday heads and
starve If needs be every one of them into
subjection. He knows that he dare not permit
his employees in Cleveland to organize into
unions, because the labor unions would protect
their demands for justice and right living
Hanna would prefer to have them employed
separately 50 that he can deal with them each
by himself instead of with a band OF union
which recognizes that ian injury to one is the
concern of ALL" When Hanna in his public
speeches defes any one to ascertain from his
employees anything derogatory to his character
as an employer of labor, he knows full well
that twenty years experience with him as an
employer is enough to deter any one from
saying aught against him. He has not an
employe among his six thousand but that
knows if he should declare himself as a man
having opinions of his own, that he would lose
his job as soon as the fact came to the ears of
Hanna. Does Hanna take all the people
outside of his employ as fools2 Does he think
that they accept his defy as conclusive
evidence of his humanity and justice as an
employer, when his every act for a score of
years belle his public utterances2
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30

New York papers are telling of the
recent death of Erastus Corning, at
Albany, who 25 years ago inherited
S12, 100000. He lived high, spent freely
and generously, giving away money to
churches, friends, etc. He expended
$1,000, 900 on fancy farm and dairy.
His accomplished wife had also extrava-
CANT tastes. He spent in politics and
made bad investments. The son in a
legal proceeding disclosed the situation
showing that the millions had gone and
the only thing left was debt of $l25, 600.
The son will now have to work for his
bread and butter.
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
CAPTURE OF M'KINLEY AND THE
ST. LOUIS CONVENTION.

In making a speech the other evening j. s.
Hudson, Esquire, Of Canton, said, the rallying
of the gold magnates at st. Louis last year and
compelling Mckinley to get on to a gold plat
form reminded one of Bryan's poem "The
Destruction of Sennacherib's Army" The
squire then psraphrased the st. Louis capture
thus:
But Gotham came on like wolf on the fold,
And strong were the cohorts that rallied for
gold,
Their words were so powerful that all soon
could see
The gold bugs were potent at old San Louee.
green,
That host with their Doodle were prompt on
the scene;
And 50 the old party came under gold sway
And without any trouble their mandates obey.
So the peoples just rights were all flung to the
blast,
While the millionaire magnates rejoiced as
they passed;
And silver was downed there all deadly and
chill
And the trust lords were glad they had had
their sweet will.
Though suffering toilers are loud in their wall,
The idols shan't win in the temple of Baal;
And the people will vote in their might and
decree
That the right shall prevail and that they will
be free.
So rally like men true Americans all,
Independence was fought for and now shall not
fall,
And the people by voting, and not by the
sword,
Will find on their side all the might of the
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30

not make these particular things under special
conditions scarce and therefore dear but Il al
depends on the supply and demand, why IL
there any demand for money at ALI Why use
money But the advocates Of the theory Of
supply and demand as the only element to
make prices must admit that money represents
and exchanges all of the products Of human
toll and all Of the requisites Of modern life,
and is a necessity of civilization and therefore
a necessary adjunct and part of all human
endeavor.
If money is scarce exchanges of products
are hard to make. Crops, horses, labor, land
and everything else must be given up at any
sacrifice to obtain il. Exchanges cannot be
made in these days without money. No plan
has yet been devised for making exchanges
without money or its representative in some
form. Civilization which means progress to-
ward perfection and ultimately perfection
itself would be dead, without some factor to
exchange the products of human toll. The
more readily this is done the less burden is
placed on the producer and the more real pro-
perty comes to him. The ease with which
exchanges are made must depend on the
medium by which they are made. A restricted
or scarcity Of volume means a burdensome tax
on the producer. Hardships deprivations,
low prices and debts follow in the wake. On
the other hand, an easy and unrestricted ex-
change can only be made where the tools of
exchange are at hand to make them. In this
day of large reading on finance and currency
these tools are recognized as a large Volume of
money. An easy exchange means good prices
for products and good wages to therproducer.
There is no other element that so clearly
demonstrated the quantitative theory of money
as this
The Stark County Democrat. [volume] (Canton, Ohio) 1833-1912, 1897-09-30
NEEDS OF HANNA's SPEECHES.
ITO be continued, ]

Old campaigners never run out of ideas, or
at least words, on the platform. But Senator
Hanna being new to the stump, 1t is only
n find himself pumped
dry after few efforts. He is telling the people
Of Ohio daily, in much the same terms at each
place. that all the money they have in their
pockets they owe to the profound policy OF
himself and President Mckinley. Il
congratulate you"-to quote his set speech to
the farmers-"that the prosperity promised by
the Republican party is no longer prospective.
1t is here TO stay as long as you vote to uphold
the administration Of Mckinley" 1t would
be agreeable to his Ohio audiences, we should
think II Mr.. Hanna were to vary his
speech by introducing some fresh illustrations