Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-09-01

hair left upon his venerable head. Il
deny it, sirr' he shouted; ''it is Il lie!
You could never be a bigger fool than |.
You have not the capacity, sir; not the
capacity!'
It was after the Monocacy got out of
the drydock at Nagaski, writes Charles
D. Amy in the Chicago TimesH Herald,
that she was bearing Gen. Foote, the
newly appointed and first American mill
lister to Corea. Mrs. Foote, and the min
ister's family to Janchuan, the seaport of
Seoul, the capital of Gorea. She was
midway between the japanese islands
and the Corean peninsula. 1t was per-
fectly calm day, with a sea as smooth as
a mirror. Gen. and Mrs. Foote We're on
the hurricane deck, where the awning
made life worth living. The man at The
wheel wondered what was the matter
The needle on the compass was bobDmS
from N.N.E. to WISE. p E. The officer
of the deck looked at the compass in the
chartroom, and it was vaccillating be-
tween E. q E. and w. 70 n. In ten min
utes the Monocacy was headed for Spitz-
bergen, Swallow, Cape Town, San Fran
cisco and Lima, and she hadn't gone ten
fathOms. Men were ordered here and
there from the Starboard forward coal
bunker to the BOBBY hatch to look for the
cause of the Monocacy's latest ante
Finally the lookout in the foretop report
ed something floating two points off the
lee bow Before his voice could reacn
the officer of the deck, the floating object
was dead astern, and about a mile as the
seXtant would figure. After waddling
like a duck around that shiny sea for two
hours, the MCnocacy got in hailing dis
lance of the floating object. 1t was her
rudder.
docs the nobleman seem to think a
good deal of Miss Clara % ''Oh, yes, in
deed. He calls her his little Klondike.
Judge.
One of the beauties of the London sea-
son is that the gardens can be used.
Whether for reception or ball the grounds
are always illuminated. and it is bliss
full thing to wander away from the gilt
tering crowd and seek the understanding
garden close, where it is quite light
enough for one to be respectfully visible
and yet dim enough to cover a multi
tude of deficiencies of dress or jewels.
Sometimes. as at the Warehouses of
LansdOWnes a few weeks ago, the lawns
are covered with carpet, and this serves
both to protect the grass and the hens
of ladies' skirts. This plan quite solves
the puzzle of the Duchess " and several
other writer's popular novels, wherein the
lovely heroine is always escaping from
the ballroom and listening to a confusion
of love in a flower arbor or by a foun-
tain. One used to picture her with damp
feet and hair out of curl, roaming about
unllt paths, and one wondered why the
writer let her do it. She swished her
skirts over scarlet Brussels pathways
however, and sat under the most becom-
ing shade of fairy lamps, while her gal
liant brought her ices from the near buff
fet. Given a pretty woman (she needn't
be so eXcruciatingly pretty either, under
these lights and Il wholesome young
man, there is bound to be love-making
especially if the moon is doing her OBJ
viOus duty. The English society novel
lists are not such idiots after all.-Ar-
gonaut.
A Paradise for Invalids. -Tourist-'
seems to me that this is a very unhealthy
place. Don't people die pretty often down
here" Native" Stranger, [ consider
this the health1est place on the hull foot
stool. Do people die here? Well, / should
say not. Why, look here; my brother has
been sick abed ever since we struck these
parts fifteen years ago, and he amt dead
yit."-Truth.
'The golf widow is a brand-new
phrase of Newport devising. 'What does
a golf widow mean?' society woman is
quoted in the Springfield Republican as
saying. Simply drive over to the golf
CluU anu ScC Jul uulIlui uuSDduuS StStiu-
ing with perspiration in chasing a bounc-
ing ball over half the eXpanse of the
island. Then look at US, sitting on or
verandaS, waiting for them to come home
to I'LL dinner engagement, and you will
understand what a golf widow means.
It's just the same everywhere. They
played golf down South last winter, and
left US to amuse ourselves there, and here
they are at it again this summer. This
game of golf has originated a new species
of men. Our husbands used to think
something of dress. To-Day they eat, vide
and sleep in their golf suits; they make
calls in them, and actually growl when
we expect them to appear in evening
dress at night. They play all day, stay
away to lunch then come nome at night
all tired out, and want to sit down &c q
supper of beefsteak and potatoes, as any
farmer would eat: and say they are roo
hungry to trife with a course dinner
After that they go out on the veranda
and smoke strong pipe, talk golf to 10
o'clock, then go to bed. oh, no." con-
tinued the lady, tossing her head defiant
ly, sit is not the young men L am speak
ing of; there is some excuse for youth
moving with the fads, but our old hus-
bands-men who should have arrived at
years of reserve and discretion some of
them OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES are the ones
who are the very worst"
The chappies who hang around the
Waldorf have a new drink. 1t is made of
whisky, lump of ice and hygeia water.
Ordinary folk would call it high ball.
The young struts call it a Bradley Mar
TIM in honor Of last seasons fete.-New
York Press.
An English drummer having strolled
from the camp, approached the French
lines, and before he was aware of his
danger he was seized by the picket and
carried before the commander, on sus-
picion of being a spy, disguised in a
drummers uniform.
On being questioned, however, he hon
estly told the truth, and declared who
and what he was.
This not gaining credit a drum was
sent for. and he was desired to beat
couple of marches, which he readily per-
formed, and thus removed the French
mans suspicion of his assuming a ficti-
tious character.
But, my lad said he, ''let me hear
you beat retreat"
;o1 ~,