Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-08-12

II the follows shy.-Bazar.
Dora-He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like. Cora-What
was that? Another mans arm. =
Life.
almost any man will admit that
he's liable to make mistakes YES;
except when he makes them. "-Chica-
go Journal.
The Major-No, sab! don't believe
you ever tasted such wine as this! The
Young Curate-Is it-er-something
new Puck.
"Your wife bought these cigars,
didn't sheY Eyes How did you
guess it?" They're in such pretty
ox."-Jugend.
you protest that you love me, EN-
lily, but am still waiting for the first
kiss" ''Well, why do you waitT-Flie-
gende Elaetter.
can allowance is something like
bicycle" "How SOP "a man can put
his wife on it. but he can't make her
stay on it."-Ex.
Freddie, why did you drop the baby
on the floor?' "Well, heard everybody
say 1t was bouncing baby and ! want
ed to see 1t bounce."-Punch.
"Madge is always out of money"
"How does that happen?" 'She can't
resist buying every new kind Of pock-
etbook she sees."-Chicago Record.
Ethel-Did you ever run across real
smart man in your life? Penelope-No,
indeed; such men jump very quickly
when they hear bicycle-bell.-Judge.
What the man said: "Oh, yes, de-
lightful weather" What he wanted to
say: "Blankety blank! blankety blank!
blank! blank! blankv'-Boston Tran
script
1T takes my wife three days to go
to a picnic" "How's that?" "She
takes day to get ready, a day to go
and day to get over it."--Chicago
Record.
Primus-Didn't Mr.. Goodman say
that Col Bluegrass had become pro-
hibitonist? Secundus-Yes. and now
the colonel is suing him for libel
Yale Record.
II have here a neat and pretty little
letter-opener," began the agent. 80
have l at home," said the business
man, sadly: II am ed."-CiDcin-
natl Tribune.
The husband-Have you any lnvlsl-
bic wells? The Saleslady-Yes, sir It
is impossible to see them. The Hus-
band-Pd like to look at SOMEHOW
kers Statesman.
II got even with Nobbs for talking
to me so much about his diseases"
what did you do?' II sent his ad-
dress to every patent medicine firm in
the country."-Ex.
Gracious, Jack, what immense shirt
studs you wear" "Well, you know
how buttonholes act. I'm going to keep
up with them If 1t takes a dinner
plate."-Chicago Record.
Barings-Perfdious woman, you
have broken my heart! Miss Wheeler
oh. don't think it is as bad as that.
Nothing worse than small punctGre.
Indianapolis Journal.
rs your flying machine a success"
"Unquestionably," replied the enthusi-
asst. Have you made trip with it,"
mo. but I've sold several shares of
stock. Washington Star.
Mother-Now, Johnny, are you tell
why do you want to make me tell an
other lie by asking me such a question
as that?-Boston Transcript.
What are the weather indications
today" asked the thin man. 'Raip,
to a certainty; circus in town." said the
thick man, without looking at the bu-
reau's report.-CiDcinnati Tribune.
'He is a very poor judge Of human
nature" remarked Miss Cayenne,
thoughtfully. What leads you TO that
conclusion?" HE has such a good
opinion Of himself. Washington Star.
She-And you say there were thir-
teen at the table? He-Just. Zone Of
the party is sure to die before the years
out" "Oh, guess not! You see, we
are all officeholders. "-Yonkers States
man.
"Well, there is one thing to be proud
Of; we have no class prejudices in this
country" II guess you were never
around when three or four sophomores
got hold of freshman" -Indianapolis
Journal.
Il don't know why the papers should
speak so harshly of Gen. Weyler. The
dispatches say he was at the head Of
his troops at the last battle" Yes?
Which way were they going?"-Cleve-
land Plaindealer.
1T must be awful to be broke away
out West" II didn't find it so. had
a pretty good suit Of clothes, SO pre-
tended to be wanting to invest in real
estate. Nothing was too good for me-"
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. De Withers ION the way from
churchill think, my dear, DIR. Long
winds sermon was very finished eff
fort. Mr. De Withers-It was, but do
you know was afraid it never would
be.-Pittsburg Dispatch.
"Nvho says I'm outT shouted the
ball tosser. II do" replied the umpire.
"well, I'd rather have an unprejudlced
opinion as to that" remarked the slug.
ger, and then the kick began.-Phila-
delphia North American.
No Easier Way.-"Papa," said Sam
my Snaggs, as he paused, pencil In
hand "hnw con Won yoof-o 60