davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05
Along the Kansas Nile

/ Max Nordsu says that by the year z0l
| the whole world win be crazy. We knew
| Ed Little was ahead of MS time.
4 good many more Kansans would sail
| off for Klond.ke. If some one would dis-
cover process for canning pumpkin pie.
| Az Wellington Just after the earthquake.
a woman woke her husband up with a
| shake and said: For heavens sake. John.
/ qui, your snoring. You actually shook the
/ bed"
Nothing can stop them. There are a fex
brave souls in Kansas who are determined
20 lay violen, hands on Cy. Leland 20 see
II he Is as warm thing as he -s silver
tissd
II ;he fight between Senator Baker and
Cyrus Leland must trsnspre. The first
step should he the srres, OF a lot of fei-
lows Who are guilty of carrying concealed
opinions
PsYe- says officers should be elected who
viii enforce the probibt;ory Law. PETER
should take his brain out and hang 4 on
a clcthes-liae 70 dry. Il Is TOO s0ggy fos
clear thinking.
A Fraphophcne was singing IN a Kan
sas fClrf. There 'lizzz bezzzzzzz ho tzzz time
Ezzinzzz thezzzoi1zzztoz-n zz@f0n ,Ehi.' - when
a c.tlzcn. slightly under himself. sal.
Give IN aruszer drink. u let tire man
clear hssa throat
Pa" sad Kansas boy. do you know
there are two Esys q spelling droEth ?"
Yes replied the oid man. and from the
way this Gry sptu is hanging on. taegs
ouEh; TO be z5out sx-"
Perhaps tse most s~eT-Slzg sPee.aeis
n ksnsas Il the gorgeous political qulesgte
II waich svery KaaEzn s-aI@ s.rnteit
when ne hzs once rot inside - a B9si-
once and bUrsd as fangs 4 q assTtsTiy
sa'sry.
In some respects Bsr-ard Esily has
tsvs.sd-rssr BRAN OF al fhs Esnssas
hs vas ,he only ore zitz feelnx sne2sa
% go after a pace vhsrs Il = not rec
essary 20 burden fT.szes zltA tss making
o. bond-
Mlks su.o- = making zr.ot o1scer. ~.
70 ihs great cisspposs<-neos of ~est.rs
KsaSas. tse Euvernzs3Ef has not ysi sgEnt-
ns3 - !niss-oa Q: pisea~ h-s serrait
On re -.zaretts TeTss us stamp sE : nzzrk
of SIS sz7ssn1
That Too@ks raa7 rho has iaEssis1 A.
sirrElp IA ~As-a ,. NJ ssoz depart tor
Kiond.xe'- WI TAD tast Ansr~s a.6a'; g.z.
;te t.rzn'ssss fscslltsss q ts> Esory sao-s
- thz; sufficient aissztloa e&z s9 b ss.1
70 Us.cca4srzK an
Ia .5es zn1 r-ztisrnsa.' szss Ea1zss I
mar q an sxrts-- sss.t oc-rtor. I az 4
sro-r EazssE. Tasr = KY soE. ~rly lie 4
= s.Ear years . AZ He a2s av~s - /
rsaie ne = KazEzx sEow. WY. e.s yss
ever So a r-zzssosp~Ts- 40 WY ~
spoztes. '-Se-'
I sss,~ szss shs ssa Eassas fs-z~F psS
kss lzsf sf1Ze< - ts-sg@cr sEzy =
sses. r.. 50 ptss. Eage1 = ssssss - tsft1
= ac1-. cz~-ssa Na.s- - - ssssa. s-1 az
I'd 80 te1 Srs-EeiS y eezL -tnss sozas
fssl srt--fsf. n Se- Ynsk Azs esseessFts Z
sss sSess; :. <s<.-
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05
Nsu Things os Toydon

The rocking horses 80 coas:Tuctsi ira;
they nay be removed rom ths focksrs
and placed Upon wheels. 80 that fhs Eoa
zz6 h@lr may eEJoy = ride around his de-
nassne-
T-ns complete uns ot mali furniture. 20
vel Sez gne1 thzt 3; wlE BE- impossible ~
The order loving caik1 &c fsl 20 know ~oe!s
q fnd her fairgs'
The r.5scBlc1s norksy o. hi-yei. 20
natural that O. c laughs "a spite ot ors's
self
TIE numerous tosiet appliances FOR N.s-
Dolly-s comfort Ehica eoszsss1 cs NINA :zz-s
imitation porcelz3n batatabz vita . real
splxzos . Isi CT TIE ga ter. feet bstS
razz. pitcher and hsslz. szt -. egtes.
A,iis i5ota-5-zza hoi6s- thsZ yoz ever EzE.
having 20 excuse fer Dosly 70 .. "a -
sas- Gezree u1-dy.
TIE guns aps sEo-is sras s<s-ser sas1z
tt.s kEzpsacks ard The ornzss. shzi s7xzys
ssszse fhs Ez--lks toy& Enc are sac
zhes CzE1st-5zs ssze2
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Hill would prove An obstruction in all
future movements in unifying the Bry-
an and Cleveland wings OF the Demo-
cratic party. Hill would have proved
wiser had he openly and energetically
fought the election of Bryan, or other
wis endorsed his nomination out and
out. He adopted the very course which
left him without supporters or defend
ers. A great body of the Democracy
of New York would have stood by Hill
in a fight against Bryan. Now these
are without a recognized leader or head
except such as Croker may name.
Cleveland, Hill, Villas and other less
prominent old-time Democratic leaders
having gone down in the flood of Bry
anism, are being ground TO death be-
meath the heels of the man who left his
palatial home in Europe TO return TO
shear the lamb from which he had gath
cred so much wool. Croker was not in
America during the Bryan-Fusion cam
paign and is therefore free from all its
complications and ready to make terms
beneficial TO himself and TO Tammany.
Tammany cares nothing for principle.
would not turn it's hand for a single
standard of gold or against the free
coinage of silver. 1t cares only for the
sIoils of politics. for the contents of the
party trough. Tammany took no hand
in the Bryan campaign, because it was
divided on the money question. But
with Hill and Cleveland out, and Gro
ker in, it viii support with enthusiasm
Bryan and Free Silver, or what not.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05
HOW LONDON GROWS

! London had a great fire a few days
ago which swept away acres Of build
ings. 1t was a big fire even for Lon
don. But the district laid bare by the
fire is rapidly being rebuilt With all
her vaStness London cannot even spare
| a few acres of buildings to the growth
Of which city there seems no limit The
great fire of 1866, upon the heels of the
black plague, practically destroyed Lon
don. II stopped only when there SEEM
ed nothing left that would burn. Yet
this great center of civilization and
population rose from her ashes and now
after more than two hundred years Of
continuous growth, is still growing.
The records show that last year 1851
new houses were built in London. These
would constitute a city Of themselves
of 1900 to 100000 inhabitants The
report just published shows that the
city contains 557, ,734 Inhabited houses,
which is more than One-tenth of all the
dwellings of England and Wales. And
and increase by streets and squares
and parks continually, which multiply
as if by magic. 1t is a continual acces-
sion of new suburban towns and i'm
prOyemenfs within, continual increase,
holding the worlds lead as an example
of modern civic development Nobody
knows where and when the growth of
this center of the British empire and
financial center of the wcrld will cease
10 grow. If there is no natural limit
to the growth of great cities, what vast
responsibilities will rest with those who
control their affairs in the future. The
government Of New York City is the
greatest, most complicated and onerous,
more complex and important than that
of any state, being next to the national
government itself. If there is no nat
ural limit to the growth of great cities
they will in time contain the majority
of the people Of the world. Upon or
through big cities, their rule and cor
ruptions, have nations foundered. Rome
at one time held the deStinies of the
world in its grasp. Cities are the nests
of crime, the breeding places of disor-
ganiZation, and our present civilization
may find its nemesis in its vast and I'M
comfortable cities.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05
SEX AND "SMARTNESs." /"

In the public schools of Chicago, il Is
found that out of 222 pupils in the gram
mar schools who attained a certain pro-
ficiency, only % were boys.
Now, it is the accepted rule that boys
''take after" their mothers and the girls
after their fathers. If the girls are four
times as bright as the boys, and take
after their fathers, the 'old man" has
excellent excuse for complacency under
the accepted laws Of ileredity.
But, on the other hand, as the Medical
Record observes, "if they, the women,
are the smarter, the boys, taking after
their Mothers should also be the
smarter. If the men are the smarter,
then the girls, taking after their ia
thers,' should be smarter"
This is one Of those revolving puzzles
that keeps unwinding itself into shapes
that alternately flatter each sex and
finally leave people TO conclude that
both sexes are occasionally smart
enough for somebody to take after. If
this were not so, how should we make
the rule for heredity work?
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05
Southern Kansas Business Men.

The effective clerk does not oenvtnes: hs
| persuades. AEEressiys salesman ioss rnrss
/ customers 70 where they gain one
/ II you have a toy dspArfmenf Keep n IA
motion. jingle the bills and set a mas.s
/ box 10 going Thar. s nothing NOR. fss-
/ caustng 20 peopla In me Christmas fraus
I q Inlnd than the musical activity Of toy
\ dom.
n an s-npIoysr ants In al snplcys a.
snx.ety over the establishmSnrs velfsEs,
/ he should nour.sh 81. ~ nttls eonn6eness.
I An snploys having an i5>a of q general
! lne of campaign. can render vary import
ans assistance
An employer ar q foor waIker who hsszks
( into dcker between a clerk azd Gus
/ toner rElakes a ulssssAs uIns times cut %
ten n the customer g get s4Sisssf. hs
coesn'; want ths argument oa ne otasT
s3ds re-snsoicsd
At srprssron on the part O, q ssis.na1
th1f he fear4 ne con noc show 10 c1tsornss
t,5st AHA ire customer wants all. IN Mn.
raaes oat % fen. result n tss cusforssr
rssarg.~sr hLs fesfrc 20 fnat hs vii - sst-
isasa VITA sorsethlnE tas ssssIA1 sas
Eaogn-
II fs feN tf-af season % ere year Wien
trers j. harmful ezpsneltgrs of he sa-
t.re ccr4u.src 81 slrrEy. sxo~pt anscax t5s
,s-se Ths wfss business nnsa are szTis<
;ecrisssyts FER tas dun DAYS that slSays
follow fas aolSzyz Ensrgy z44 - nsSrs
zssss9 then uas Hs~.
TIE b1yisx zJrfl 70 s,rio,iy % % aa,.
People Ike % Re s51r.ss~d - ness-a
style TAsy czz rot Withstand ia sfgs~
fnear tazt IRIS - ths izfsss-~ z4sa O.
woman wfthoa- IRE Iesse care e tls@ir ysr-
saaal appsaraacs VII sssosl before ~are
er.-sd Z; rss8esc rFses s<~1zzss - .
ssf of azf2-'
ss-e ae-ehan.s hav. q vhsssTtnE
rusfas1 q k5viar russsDsTs az lH&&s
r-ses J. = .-ayors.bis fsr TEEN . So
thsf :kss whispering exa.t aaakes zzezs
snary rscc.ss sarstcio1s s2S c--s act tn-
p-r-s th<zs - al OTasrs 8; csTtslniy izh-
r-rsses Bgs 80 rzas 40 = eses Eef azz~
,Fszs - - bef;sr e8stozFr
On ss-sisa 1ays a fan vote n - zers-
- raesas = tssaeDsc1s FDfs fer -
z~o-s esy. Ezr1 ca-sr-z4s sAsyzszx
ssears an .n.rsxess sxr-sERts of Cs-fs.-
-. sssr~ - Dece-be- = II. rn~-cs.zs
- wal.s usfB fss izs: u<ek b<ss-.
sn-.rs-aas % sfTs-gss 4-nr1~srzss xsa<
= sgzx wsy x - r@ar % tks 2Fsess-
szon-
a ss-rszzf Srssss - fak cree ssliss y
va yea vos4ls iz-sr.ss ussn ~s-1 1<y-
eAsafs sz.11 tAas :, = 20 ssrs.~xs % sS-
csa-zs= - sew -crxn ssoy-z-<E. Tos.
= - ersaa 30 e<nxtses sz6 - rzsas ca a.
- A. 1azs1; xK re <xt-assEs1es &C r..
r-sge- e-.azzs s~r -sfs- T-4At yzs ny ea-gy
szseEiesrs ~ fs =o- kneNs ssy
t1S<z. ay SsTr1ass& sat s.iss xE1 anY g
,sEf.e-zl sszs1fnx ~ e<s co4s1 - 9salessr
- rzt 60 us.sess t-z4E sss2 sAs 49, -
49, sss = = 1ss ssaAx. tsA-
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

The fake discovery ln Ineis7 Territory
Q. skeletons of eco persons who had bee
slain in battle $500 years ago may b
interesting 70 TIE a-chseoiogsts, oGs i !,
exceedingly zekwara Ter Ire ns~fy o.
GAINED New EEsianosrs Ens asifer ;hers.
selves ;Ast tney are de<cea4e5 from u.
a-s. families = America
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Some day the general public viii srise
aud demand q fulhlInent of az promise.
by politicians. TIE people OF New YORK
mayor. the town was forever lost morally.
The town today IS Just as good as il ever
was TIE charges Egains. Van wycS
were s.ulp,y i;s politicians ieskins al tae
mouth
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Mckinley makes on secret Of the con-
tory as the first president with so few
bangles on his brain. that he could save
himself from attempting the idiotic i'm
possibility of keeping an unnecessary Sc
Cret
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

There is 10 question but that Mckinley
issued in exchange for gold. This Is some
thing new. and the public would De pleas
ed 70 read six o. eight columns about &;
from sc.re man who doesn't know any
-hs-- about 4.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Dr.. Ghardi, learned Hindoo, now in
this country. says the juggernaut is a silly
lie. There is no juggernaut. We would
Ike TO have hold of that lecturing mis-
sicnary who once had US weeping all over
the Pew in front
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

The habit some public officers have o.
sticking their heads UP cut OF big salary
and saying that their law practice needs
Their attention and that they fear they
VIII have 10 resign. Is very harmless one.
and the people can stand about a dose q
month
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

There IS national deficit in revenues
The coming congress must be exceedingly
cha-y Of large appropriations. And-but
we do rot wish 10 weaken public interes.
in the preSGent's coming message by an
ticipa;ing his remarks.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

A new hLH al Crippis Greek Is Q, IA
ture which permits god 10 be mined with
g SHOVEL and a w5eeioarrou- TIE dis-
cove-y CT god s becoming entirely ,0o
easy. for the purposes OF ronauce-
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

If Colorado won't let US have the water
of the Arkansas river, she ought to come
over with w.ndlass and wrap the useless
bed up off a lot of valuable farm land.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

If Santa Claus is to be abolished, his
lifelong enemy. the galoot who slips
around January / with a black accordion
book, ought to be wiped into ether, too.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

The Ohio legislature threatens 10 pass
a law compelling all patent medicines to
bear the sign of skull and cross bones
Why rot be strictly op-to-date and Luet-
a Sesamoid?
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

How comes It that Russia, which has
just adopted the gold standard, country
which can force men to be the actual
serfs of the car. can not force the same
people to accept fiat money as good
money?
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Christmas comes on Saturday this year.
The person to whom we send a present,
but who sends us none, will find the store
closed when he rushes to town to square
himself.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

A Boston poet writes: Long was I filled
with the glorious glow" If he wants %
feel good, however, he ought to store away
about peck of hot biscuits.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

The cabinet of Holland has decided that
little Queen Wilhelmina must not ride
bicycle But wait till Wilhelmina is really
boss. She'll have a ball-bearing throne if
she wants one.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

The English put their foot down on the
scheme to erect statue 10 Washingto
in London. a statue Of Washington in
London would be as inappropriate as a
statue of ex-Ambassador Bayard in Wash
ington.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

narrowing thought may pull Populis,
Senator Harris of Kansas out of bed by
the hair some ntght-a thought that he is
having the approval OF the Sugar Trus:
in opposing the annexation of Hawaii.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

The way Colorado looks at It, II Wichita
should force Colorado 10 Yield up the water
OF the Arkansas river, Wichita might also
demand that Colorado copper-line the bed
all the way down.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Last Tuesday Russia adopted the gold
standard. II was not the work of Marko-
witz Hannaowski. He was sick in bed at
the time
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Baron Gantsch Won Frankenthurn OF
Austria has named the new cabinet. 1t
is to be hoped he improved on his father
and mother.
The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-12-05

Two Kentucky girls are quarreling as %
ship Kentucky. They might compromise
by both breaking a two-handled demijohn
over the ships snout-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22
A Cousin by AdOpt on.

A correspondent Of the Bookman
suggests an incident about Irving that
is novel and interesting: That Irving
was a friend Of the Knickerbockers Of
SchaghticOke is well known, but not,
think. the reason why he adopted
himself into the family. While Har-
mon KnickerbOcker. who was pre-
sumably upon intimate terms with
Irving, was a member OF congress, he
had occasion to present Irving to
President Madison, and in so doing
facetiousiy introduced him as his
"cousin-german, Diedrich Knicker-
booker, from old Schaghticoke." Irving
was rather taken sback, but the so
briquet so took his fancy that he made
use OF it as a pen name when he
wrote his famous history of New
York, In which he refers several times
to his cousin the congressman"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22

20 under or a business firm fail. The
rarity of these happenings at the pres
ent time is substantial evidence that
prosperity is dawning." The millions
of wage workers in the United States
unable to secure anything to do, or
toiling like slaves for starvation wages;
the thirty thousand striking tailors in
the city of New York, doomed to a
life of servitude or death of horror;
the farmers all over the land raising
crops that will not pay the expense of
raising the merchants whose shelves
are loaded with goods they cannot sell,
will not see cause for congratulation
in our esteemed contemporaries dis
covery. Another Republican journal
grundly announces that if every man
in the United States would think pros.
perity had returned it would be with
us. This is a brilliant application OF
the ''mind cure" to financial Affections.
By all means let us "play we are rich
What is the use of endeavoring to dis
cover the cause poverty when we can
simply think it out of existencel Isn't
it about time for Republicans to cease
their criticisms of the "vagaries of
Populists " and the "folly of the silver
crazea" Surely imagination is a much
less substantial basis for prosperity
than good, sound silver dollars. Under
Republican administration the dawn
of prosperity will never, but the banks
and the business men will continue to
do SO until gold monopoly is wiped
out and bimetallism placed in its
stead.7Es.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22
BE Helped Convict Murderer.
Death Of an Aged colored Man Recalls a
Crime.

Torbert Ganges, the aged colored
man who figured prominently in the
arrest of Wallace Burt, the halfbreed
Indian murderer of the aged Rightley
couple, in Northampton County, a
couple of years ago, died at the aims
house early Friday morning. Ganges
at the time of Burt's arrest lived on
the outskirts OF Morrisville, and gave
the officers the information that led
to the murderer's arrest in his hiding
place, in the swamp, He was one
who secured portion of the $1,000
reward offered for the arrest and con-
viction of the murderer.
About year ago Ganges was con-
victed of stealing chickens, and had
been serving sentence in the county
Jail until few weeks ago, when he
was removed to the almshouse for
treatment, upon the recommendation
OF commission appointed by the
Court.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22
whv SHE BECAME AN ACTRESS.
-. siddons' Mother q widow, forced TO
XAsp Lodqers ss Q Means of Support.

-. siddons' Mother q widow, forced TO
8ssp Lodgers rs Means of support.
Here is an anecdote said 10 have
pslf many years ago, when a friend
ssked what had impelled her to go up
- the stage. In the early sixties she
Was living with her mother, the wild
Nv OF an Indian officer, In a seaside VII
hee. They were very poor. their
0dgings were more than humble, and
he girl was anxiously wondering how
she could contribute to the support of
she little family. The problem was a
bard one, for In those days the
bpbere" of women was smaller than
sDw, and their opportunities to make
money were not numerous. Mean
while her immediate duty was to try
% make the shabby rooms pleasant and
1Bmelike. While engaged in this task
she discovered that an old chiffonier
which stood In one corner of the sitting
room had only three legs The miss
ng fourth member had been replaced
by a crumpled-up newspaper, which,
Judging from its dusty condition. had
not been disturbed for many years.
Merry Siddons removed the paper,
found that It was a very old copy Of
ma Annual Register, and on glancing
wer IT found a long article detailing
he triumph Of her greatgrandmother
IN some long-forgotten play. The girl
decided that this was "leading" and
u once resolved to seek fame and for
tune as an actress. Being beautiful
and intelligent she soon obtained a
chance to test her histrionic abilities,
md won enough of success to raise
her mother and herself TO what, com
CARED with her previous state, seemed
samOst like wealth.-New York Times.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22
PIES THAT WEIGH A TON.
Denby Dale II in the Habit of Making
and Eating Them.

and Eating Them.
THIS country has long been pleased
10 consider itself the Land of pies. But,
as a matter of fact, certain region OF
the English county Of Yorkshire pro-
iuces pies beside which no American
pie would dare to make it's appearance
FOR very shame.
DENLY Dale periodically makes pies
weighing a ton and upward. There
was a pie last summer which weighed
,nly fifteen hundredweight.
The last DENLY Dale pie was made,
cooked, carved and distributed only last
summer, in celebration of the jubilee of
The repeal of the Corn laws. The
meats of which II was composed
weighed nearly fifteen hundredweight.
Half a ton of steel plates went to form
The dish in which it was baked, and the
1our for the crust added an equal
weight. The oven that received this
burden of nearly two tons measured
thirteen feet in length by nine feet in
width and two feet in depth. When
nicely Drowned, the giant pie, gayly
1ecked with flowers and guarded by
mounted police, was drawn in process
sion by fourteen horses TO the place Of
'easting.
Here, at a fixed hour II was solemn
" carved with knife close upon three
feet long and fork Of proportionate
size, and served on commemoration
plates to all persons who paid for the
privilege of thus tasting It. The eda-
,ious crowd numbered thousands. and
few returned from the scene of festiv-
ty without souvenir.
That was the sixth big pie TO delight
the epicures of DENLY Dale. The first,
which dates back more than hundred
years, was intended to mark the thank
fulness Of the inhabitants for the re-
covery Of George III. from mental de-
rangement. Nearly thirty years elapsed
before another event occurred worthy
Of such signal regard. This was the
battle Of Waterloo. The oldest inhab-
itant cannot recall the Waterloo pie.
but 1t was, no doubt, a famous affair,
for, when another generation had come
to maturity, it found pattern for the
great pie of '46, by which DENLY Dale
testified satisfaction at the repeal of
the Corn laws.-New York Journal.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22
An Achievement Explained.

He was a little curly haired, rosy
slsssksd member OF boy choir. He
had been having some trouble with a
high note, but ON this occasion sang it
cut with a clearness and vigor which
surprised and delighted all his fam
lily.
'That was splendid" said the leader
Of tAe choir. You have been taking
MY advice and practising"
"No, l haven't practised IT,"
Il don't understand how else you ac-
s0znplfshed it."
SWELL, I'll tell you. Just before l
game to that note shut my eyes and
uaaie believe | was at ball game and
saw Cartwright steal a base."-Wash-
hgton Star.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1897-07-22
Monkey as an Imitator.

At Cheltenham, England, there lives
a retired Admiral and his wife, who
have a favorlte monkey. One day re-
Gently the lady, hearing strange
noise In the dining room, looked in to
see what 1t was. The sight which met
her eyes was ludicrous one. Seated
In the armchair. with the Admfraps
smoking cap on his head, and the Ad-
miral's spectacles on hts nose, was the
monkey and In his hand was the open
newspaper, which he shook and pat
ted, while he jabbered and gesticu-
lated with great emphasis at the cat,
which lay blinking on the hearth rug.
1t was q clever and carefully studied
Imitation Of the tssty old Admiral's
tone and manner when reading to his
wife some passages from the newspa-
per which excited his wrath or indig-
Rag picker worth 100000
natiop