The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1897-11-30
FLASHES OF FUN.

Bingo-"I want to exchange this tan
dem for two wheels" Agent-"Whats
the natter Blngo-"I find that am
not strong enough to ride it."-Life.
The Wife--"What sweet smile there
Is on the baby's face, John" The Hus-
band-"Yes, he's probably dreaming
That he's keeping me awake. Flown
Topics.
Il never stirred from my room on
Sunday until five o'clock in the after
noon.' What on earth were you DO.
ing| "Oh! was just CHANGING over
the Sunday papers. Puck.
Ethel-"And when he said he was
willing to die for you, what did you
io:' Penelope-"Why, nearly faint
ed!-the idea Of the only man at sum
mer resort talking OF dyingr'-Puck.
Senator Rich Gnculcating economy
1T isn't what man makes that makes
him rich. you know" His Grandson
'Oh, know that, grandpa-it's getting
prohibltlve tariff put on t."-Puck.
Little Miss Muffet-"I don't thup-
pothe | ought to go awound all alone
! with gentleman like you, Mr.. Donkey
Boy but | Sucth it's all right. The
| donkey Is as good as most chaperons."
| Bazaar.
Mrs. Tenspot-"I am so glad that you
are engaged to Harold Wiloughby.
Was it long courtshlp?" Miss Skid
more-"Not very. My cyclometer reg
istercd about one hundred miles,
Judge.
Peasc-"Well, there's the church bell.
| Castlcton will be around in a minute"
Misunderstanding, are you going TO
church" Pease-"Oh, 70; but that
was to be the signal for our century
run."-Puck.
Miss Howler (who slngs)-"That gen
tleman you just introduced me to said
he would give anything II he had my
voice. BY the way, what business does
he follow?' Fricud-"He's an auc.
tiOneer."-Jddgc
Margaret. please take
| the cat out Of the room. cannot have
1t making such n noise while | am at
work. Where Is III" Margaret
why, sir, you are sitting on it."-Flie-
gende Batter.
What makes Bumply so down on
the long-distance tclephone?" HE
called up n man in Toledo who owes
Him two dollars and half They
wrangled till 1t cost Dumply thirteen
dollars. Detroit Free Press.
Sunday school superintendent (sc-
verely) "BObbie l didn't see you In
Sunday school yesterday" Bobbie de
hantly)-"No, sir. was out on my
wheel Sunday school superintendent
How were the T-Lifc.
Askins-"That Miss SummerGlrt
seems to be very fond OF outdoor
sportST May Cutting Yes. indeed!
All the morning she lies on the beach
In her bathngsuit, and all the after
noon she sits on the piazza in her BIZ
| cycle-suit. Puck.
What's the matter now?" asked the
| leading actor, as the manager tore a
letter to shredS and stamped his feet.
"matter? That performance of yours
Is so Internally bad that this person de
mandS that his name be stricken from
the free list."-Dctroit Free Press.
llc-"Do you believe that money has
a pcrsonality?" Shc-"I don't know.
| Why" He-"IIcre's a telegram | lust
| got from my wife at the scashore, ad-
| dressed to one Hundred Dollars in
| my care" Shc-"What does 1t say?'
lIe-"It says come Mt orce' Life.
First tramp-"Hawl haw! I've won n
bet | made wild me frien', Becry Bill.
lie gcv me odds Of two to one he
wouldn't do ten days work inside of n
year Second tramp-"What's he been
doin'" Firsttramp-'It says here he's
been sent up fer six mont's at hard
labor. Puck.