davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02
WIT AND HUMOR.

Ella-Bella can read her husband like
a book" Stela-"He is her third volume,
isn't he?"-Truth.
He Explains: she-'T don't think you
were really anxious to hear me sing"
He (earnestly)-"Tndeed l was. 1 had
never heard you before. Puck
Assistant Bookkeeper-"I thought you
said old Billions new typewriter was
bird. I saw her today" Head Book
keeper-"Well, isn't jay d?''-Som-
ervile Journal.
Reflection She-"T think Mr. Rymer
felt hurt al a remark you made the other
night" He-"What did / say" She
you said there was only one Shake
speare. Puck.
What makes you so quiet. Ferry? Are
you wondering what you will say to your
wife when you get home? mo. 1 was
wondering what she would say to me-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Someone asked Max Nordau to define
the difference between genius and insani-
ty. "Well," said the author of "Degen-
Grafton" the lunatic is, at least, sure
of his board and clothes"
so you are looking for a situation p"
said the lady at the door. ''Yesm,' said
the tramp, touching his hat "What
place did you last fir" me stomach,
ma'am," with another touch of the hat
Yonkers Statesman.
"Men are such deceivers," said Mrs.
Surley. There's my daughters husband.
When he came accounting he always
went home before o'clock; he said that
he could not be out late; that his health
did not allow it. The villain! Almost
eversince he has been married he has
been out till midnight every night of his
life. "-Transcript.
Poverty's Woes-"It is no absolute dis
grace to be ragged" said the critical lady,
"but would like to know if you can give
any excuse for the-ah-absolutely awful
condition of your clothes. Don't you
think scrubbing would do them good?"
'I know it would" admitted Weary Wat
kins, but the fact is times Is so hard
| that can't afford a valet. Indiana polls
Journal
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Birmingham, as usual, will put on her
attire on the aston of the visit of the
rivers and harbors committees, and the
visitors will immagine themselves in the
very heart of southern hospitality before
they leave.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Suppose Mr.. Undertake would not OBJ
jeet to an extra shirt waist such weather
as this
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

The State Herald publishes this morn
ing the first batch of new laws passed
since the reassembling of the legislature.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Delaware boasts only three counties,
but is unearthing more political corrup-
ton just at this time than any other
state in the union.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

The recent little scorch adds nothing
to Brother Wannamaker's ability to ad-
vertise fire sale" He was fired by
Senator Quay two weeks ago.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

The major portion of yesterday in the
house was taken up in considering the
Barnes railroad bill, and but little
progress was made.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Senator Teller opposes Sherman's ap-
pointment as secretary of state on the
ground that he is wholly unqualified to
fill the position. Senator Teller forgets
that fitness has nothing whatever to do
with the appointment. He fills place
that Hanna wants, and for that reason
he must get out of the way. The well
fare of the country is of secondary i'm
portance compared to Mark Hanna.-Ra-
cine Times.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02
sstIE PI.ATFcJRM WILL STAND.

The democratic party, in national con-
vention regularly assembled, in the city
of Chicago in July last, declared what the
principles of the party are till 1t assem-
bleS in national convention again.-State
Herald.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

1t is given out that after March 4,
Private Secretary Thurber will have
nothing to do but stand around and ad-
mire Grover.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Gen. Ayers desire to be secretary
of war can be measured by his public
announcement that he would esteem the
appointment the crowning honor of his
life. He is perfectly willing, also. to en-
ter the same cabinet with John Sherman.
1t is a severe at tack.-Springield (Mass)
Republican.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Fifty thousand men are said to be
starving in Chicago.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

1t is better to give coal. food and cloth
ing this weather and save advice until
the weather changes.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

said hubby. IF he should-happen 10 find
anything l viii get up and take 1t away
from him.-Esufarla Times.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

The pains and aches of rheumatism
have in many instances been cured by
Hoods Sarsa parilla.a s..i'
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

value of their produce cut in half. This
viii be an easy undertaking.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Vii introduce Movelties
tbs season IN HI rs from
England, Germany and
AWeyzcG ....
SHIRTS and SHIRT
ING from Scottish and
home manufacturers :.
SUI7INCS /'rom the fin
est MUS in tie WoylU.
None like them aOaW be
shoz0n BY any House IN the
State ..
l.. ROGAN g. co.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02
STATE HERALD
Entered at the postonice at Birmingham
Ala. as second-class matter.

Eastern Business ONCE. The Tribune
Building, New York City; Western Bust
ness Office, 1.-THE Rookery," Chicago; the
S. C. Beckwith Special Agency. Sole Agents
Foreign Advertising.
The State Herald will appreciate news
from any community. If at a small place
where it has no regular correspondent.
news reports of neighborhood Happenings
from any friend win be gratefully received
All communications, of whatever cnarac-
ter or length, should be written on only one
side of the sheet
Our rates for 1895 are as follows:
Daily State Herald, per month. .........s g
Daily State Herald. per quarter. ......... 0 az
Daily State Herald, per annuTn. ......... wv
Sunday State Herald alone, per an n m
Weekly State Herald, per annum. ...', w
Notice to Subscribers-When subscribers
desire to have their papers changed they
must specify where the paper is now gong
and where they wish it changed to. Watch
the label on your paper and see when your
time expires.
Remittances can be made by express
postoffice money order or drafts at cur
rent rate of exchange. Address.
THE STATE HERALD,
Birmingham. Ala
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Illinois will send humorist to the
United States senate. but ne will find no
field FOR his humor there. The senators
are never humorous except occasionally
when some of them attempt to be seri-
ous.-Boston Herald.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02
PUBLIC OPINION.

Rules for success in the politics of to-
day are few. Do as The boss tells you UNI
til you are boss; then do as you please
Peoria Journal. aa4.t l.z-sl,...
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

will Mckinley surrender or will he stand
up and fight as Garfield did ?-Indianapo-
lis News.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

$50 you are looking for a situation p"
said the lady at the door. "Yes'm," said
the tramp, touching his hat. what
place did you last flip me stomach,
ma am" with another touch of the hat
Yonkers. Statesman.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Ella-Bella can read her husband like
a book" Stella-"He is her third volume,
isn't he?"-Truth.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

He Explains: She-"I don't think you
were really anxious to hear me sing
He (earnestly)-"I / was. 1 had
never heard you before. Puck.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Someone asked Max Nordau to define
the difference between genius and insani
ty. WELL" said the author of ''Degen
Grafton" 1.-THE lunatic is, at least, sure
of his board and Clothes"
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

Assistant Bookkeeper-"I thought yol
said old Billions new typewriter was
bird. 1 saw her today" Head Book
keeper-''Well, isn't jay bird ?"-Som
erville Journal
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

A Reflection: She-'T think Mr.: Rhyme
felt hurt al remark you made the othe
night" He-"What did 1 say?" She
you said there was only one Shake
speare. Puck.
Birmingham state herald. (Birmingham, Ala.) 1895-1897, 1897-02-02

What makes you so quiet. Ferry? ART
you wondering what you will say to you
wife when you get home? mo. I was
wondering what she would say to me-
Cincinnati Enquirer
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

The City Council by ordinance has
declared the bicycle on the sidewalks
q nuisance. This was done to relieve
the pedestrian from the annoyance OF
lodging wheels and keep the walks
passabIe at all times. The Common
Council did wise act in the minds
of the public The blcyclists now in
turn are asking why the zeal of the
Council for the relief of pedestrians
does not go a stepfarther and declare
snow on the walks a nuisance. Surely
it is as unpleasant to wade through
six inches or more of snow as 1T is
to meet g. wheel. Other cities and
villages require the owners OF prop
erty to remove the snow or it is re-
moved by the city at their expense,
giving employment to needy workmen.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07
Taxes Then and Now.

Tax paying time is now close at
hand and the tax payers arenaturaily
making their plans to meet this debt
due the state when called upon by the
tax collector. No duty should be dis
charged with greater willingness than
that of paying an honest share OF
taxes to the maintenance of govern
ment when honestly administered, but
when the burdens of taxation are not
honestly proportional or when the
government is not honestly admin
istered, then, what otherwise would
have been pleasing duty, becomes a
task reluctantly performed. 1t is be-
lieved that the taxpayers of Wiscon-
sin must contend with the latter con-
dition this year, a condition which,
We hops our Republican readers will
bear with .us in saying is due, not to
the large majority of the CONSCIENTIOUS
Republican voters, but to the dis
honest politicians and schemers who,
by intrigue and false promises, and
by the help of the so-called "half
dozen influential men" of the various
towns who carry the vote OF the
precinct in their vest pocket,
worked their way into the various
positions of trust in the state last
fall. True it is that there were a few
honest and true statesmen in the last
legislature but they were hopelessly
in the minority.
That the burden of taxation is no
honestly distributed, it is believed,
all will agree. The Republican party
recognizing this fact promised the
people q year ago that if intrusted
with the management of affairs this
evil would be corrected 80 far as pos
sible, by making certain large cor
porations doing business in the st tate
share in the burdens OF taxation
When the opportunity came, however
these men false to their constituents,
false to their promises to the people,
false to every sense of honor and
dnty, with their pockets stuffed with
free passes, free telegraph and ex-
press franks, simply did nothing in
the way of relieving the burdens OF
the people, but on the contrary, not
satisfied with exempting some OF the
rich corporations from paying any
taxes were pleased to heap an adj
ditional burden upon the shoulders
of the already overburdened farmers
and toilers of just EIGHT HUNDRED
THOUSAND DOLLARS more than
the tax levy of last year, and next
month the taxpayers must pay the
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

price of their folly in the way OF one oil
the largest tax levies ever made in the
state OF Wisconsin. This tale of woe is
tersely told by the Milwaukee Journal
of Saturday, Nov 3. in whichit says:
Get out your old tax bills, the
receipts which you have kept in a
safe place. Each one of those tax
receipts is in items and it shows how
much you have paid in each year to
the state, the county, the town and
the school district Go back as far
as 1892, five years ago, and find out
how much state tax you paid in that
wear. Your tax receipt for 1898 is
precisely the same amount, since the
tax levy for the st ate was the same.
In 1894 the amount was less than
one-quart er as much, because the
state treasury contained enough sur
plus funds to release you from more
than three-fourths OF your state tax
that year, and so where you paid
$1.O2 for state tax in the preceding
year, in 1894 you were asked to pay
only "a cents. That was reduction
of more than So in every 81 IN state
taxes, quite an item when the tax bill
ran up into the tens or hundreds or
thousands of dollars.
- n l;A%Ia 60 Nth Tn QQR
you will find by comparison of your
old state tax receipts that for every
dollar OF state tax you paid in 1892
and 1898, and for every 25 cents you
paid on the same tax in 1894 you
had to pay ST 81, and in 1896 the
sum of S1.19. This year for every
dollar OF state tax you paid in 1892
and 1898 and for every 25 cents OF
state tax you had to pay in 1894
you will have to pay 81 90. Is it a
pleas ant prospect. Suppose that he
state tax item on your tax receipt is
SO; this year it will be $780,, or
nearly double. Your state tax in
1894 was about $3.50: this year it
will be $1,000 or 1881 for every
dollar that you paid in 1894.
The Journal further says that the
total tax levy for the three years
1892, 1898 and 1894 was So, PIT, 42C
and for the three years
1895, 1896 and 1897 was 1852, 853
an increase in tax levy of 2,285, 43a
By these figures it is seen that the
taxes during the last three years il
more than doubled by $8,O12
Think of st ate tax levy increased this
year eight hundred thousand dollart
more than last year and you have the
problem OF the startling increase II
taxes in plain figures.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07
Married.

Phil
lips, Wis, Dec. /, 1897, Mr.. A.
E. Krauth, formerly of this
place, and Miss Emma Water
house Of Phillips, Wis.
We have wondered what kept
Mr.. Krauth so quiet of late but
the above news, which, by the
way, gave the TIMES a great sur
prise, explains the matter. Best
wishes to you, Friend Krauth.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

A statute OF President Mckinley IN
solid gold is now contemplated for
the Paris Worlds Fair in 1900. 1t
may be unfair to say that this 10
political move, but now that the
manufacture Of gold 10 accomplished
as easily as the manufacture of brick,
it is supposed that it will be only q
cheap affair at best.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

The next lecture in the course will
be by DR. Frank Bristol on Brains"
and will be given Decem Der 18th. Prof.
Cunnock says Vt DR.. Bristol: II re-
gard him as one of the very few great
lecturers in America" Season
tickets good for the remaining four
evenings may be secured for 1925 at
Taggart's or Barnard'S.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

A two weeks meeting will be
held at the Baptist church, com,
mencing Thursday evening.
Evangelist Rottman will assist
the pastor.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07
Smoke the Red Snapper.

Try the Enterprise Steam
Laundry. Shirts 10 cts, collars
and cuffs 2 cts. Leave your
laundry on Monday, you will get
it on Friday. Office at Curtis \
Lagerstedt's barber shop.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

Laundry left at Smith $ barber
shop comes home all mended-no
charge for mending.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

A trip to the North Pole is
being planned by Capt. Bernier of
Quebec. 1t is to be made in the
"Windward" next March from
some point in Siberia. Capt.
Bernier has provisions for two
and one-half years. He intends
to travel at the rate of six miles
per day making the journey in 100
days. Part of the journey will be
made with dogs and reindeer as
the reindeer will be useful for
meat for the party.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

If yon are looking for bargain
in a pair of shoes, call and see us.
N. HI. WIGER 4 Son.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

For SALE.-One nice, seven
room house, with barn and shop,
on Main STREET. Also a nice place
on Second Street. Apply to
J. A. Reed, southeast of Public
school.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

James Mullen Of Oak Grove,
passed through town Monday on
his way to the pinery.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

Almanacs ready next week.
Reward offered for orange colored
sleigh cushion lost Frlda! night.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07
Smoke the Red Snapper.

Mrs. VIM. Brown is again seen
on our streets. She has been con-
fined to her bed for some time
with fever.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

NELsoN.-In the town of Troy,
Friday, Dec. 3, 1897, to Mr..
and Mrs. Swain Nelson, a
daughter.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

Oscar Youngren, son of Axel
Youngren living west of this city,
is down from Kittson Co., Mimi.
where he acts in the capacity of
sheriff.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

John Hamilton sold all the
goods in his second hand store
Saturday.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

A choice line of chamber suits
at @. w. Newcomb & Co S.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

A large stock Of carpets a
Rasmussen s.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

Roy Chase is in town visiting
relatives.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07
Born,

STRoUT.-To MIR. and Mrs. Willis
Stroat, Tuesday, Nov. 30, 1897,
daughter.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

O. w. Newcomb Y Co. do all
kinds of furniture repairing. A
few cents spent in time saves
dollars In the end.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

Wall paper at cost at Ras'
mussens.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

ENTHUSIASTICALLY AND ACTIVE
Vgentlemen or ladies to travel for respon-
sibIe, established house in Wisconsin.
Monthly $500 and expenses. Position
teady Reference. Enclose self-2d dressed
tamped envelope. The Dominion Com
nv, Dept. Y Chicago.
The River Falls times. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1894-1933, 1897-12-07

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Bromo @ uinine Tablets. All
Druggists refund the money if it fails to
Cure. %5c.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1897-12-08

surrounding II. / will soon be visited by
an expert hydraulic engineer from the
East, who will advise with ne as 10 the
general plan Of harnessing the power. and
also by my father. Mr.. W. T. Baker. one
of the heavy hackers A. The enterprise.
work viii then be prosecuted diligently, so
that / can promise water power service
here about September l. 1Sas
Above, and about 30 feet from the falls.
On the south side OF the river. Will be CON-
stgucted a head-race OF masonry. which
wi1 oe A canal parallel 10 the river, into
which the water viii be diverted This
VIII Be provided with strslners. sand-yate.
ctr. for the proper regulation and nrotee-
ticu OF the system. From the head-racs A
large tunnel viii pierce the rock ledge Al an
angie 10 Iae river for about go feet. and
from the outlet o. tki. tunnel at the other
face % The elf w. lead rtveSed steel pipes
o; large diameter which viii hs lad unon
the slope of the hlH 20 the lowest eaev4-
i4on bekox the falls where the water wheels
ard power house will De- located There
wlt be several sets of wafer wheels all
directly connected 10 &yuass1s. and all the
machinery az that END will De housed IA
an appropriate building for me purpose.
The electg.c power VIII be generated At
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1897-12-08
M'kINLEY KEEPS VIGIL.
Watches at His Dying Mothers He'd
side During the Long Hours
OF the Sight.

CANTON, Dec. s.--At 80 a. m. Mother
Mckinley was resting comfortably. There
has been no perceptible change. Once
more the children OF Nancy Allison Me-
kiniey have gathered about her couch
and the reunion is complete President
and Mrs. Mckinley arrived 10 find the
aged mother stilI living. In the midst OF
the deep sorrow OF me family. there is a
feeling of Joy that the president has been
permitted TO reach his mothers bedside
before the inevitable dissolution comes.
and that the mother might again reaIizs
his presence and he know that he had
been recognized. These hopes have oeen
fulfilled and they now patiently and re-
signedly await the end.
President and Mrs. Mckinley were
taken to the homestead as rapidly as pos
sihle. and as they entered the sick room.
the dying woman rallied and for a mo-
ment plainly evidenced her recognition OF
her son and others about her.
The president has remained almost con-
stantly at the bedside since his arrival
and kept tonight's vigil. relieving others
Of the children who have been constantly
ct the bedside. He remained close 10 he
house all day. going out only for little
exercise, taking walk near the house.
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1897-12-08

q moderate voltage. and will then pass
through the step-up transformer. where
'ne voltage will be increased to snoa9. at
which pressure the current viii be trans
Initted 70 Seattle and Tacoma the pole line
following the railroad and county roads as
Tar as practicable. AT the Tacoma and Se-
attic ternini the current viii be received
oy step-down transformers, in which the
electrical pressure win be reduced 20 the
voltage FOR distribution in the city. There
VIII be suitable sub-stations provided in
Tacoma and Seattle. where the great nc
tors and dynamos viii be located. and from
which the power will be distributed FOR
the various purposes. What manufacture
OF apparatus will be installed has not yet
been determined. although the Simons-
Halske and Westinghouse companies make
claims for superior machinery for high
voltage and will be bidders for the work"
Industries at the Falls.
Mr.. Baker stated that the hydraulic
works at the falls would be constructed
for capacity Of ls.eoo horsepower. but
The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1897-12-08

when long distance electric transmission
was first being talked about. l realized
tha. here was magnificent natural power
wasting itself In the sea, and that some
day II would be put TO the useful purpose
Of driving the machinery In the Sound
cities. My ambitions and hopes have been
since then centered in this transmission
project. and hoped that might some day
be the man TO succeed with 1t and solve
the problem Of cheap power. The purchase
Of the falls has been made outright for
cash. together with several hundred acres