davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1897-05-20
ALL HAD MOTHERS-IN-LAW.
And Thought the New Kind of Teeth
Was Just the Thing.

Il seen a mighty queer piece of busi-
ness when l was in town." said Jay
Green, VINO had just returned from a
weeks sojourn at the county seat. Il
was standin in front o Simpsons
store when I heard a shart report
suthin' like a shotgun in the dem
lists office upstairs in the buildin'
across the way, an down the stairs
bulged a feller With a big cloth around
his neck an his mouth full o. cement,
a-sputterin' an a-goblin' like all gee
whizz. Right after him came the dem
tist, with his hair and whiskers singed
off. The smoke poured out of the WIN
dows, an / guess the whole place would
have burnt up if the hook an ladder
company hadn't come an put it out"
What was the matter, anyhow
asked Eben Appledry, to whom Jay
was relating his adventures.
That was what everybody that ran
up wanted to know. The dentist ex-
planned that after he had filled the
patient full o. plaster he had started to
put in the time while it was settin' in
eXperimentin' with a set o false teeth
made of a new composition that had
been sent to him for examination. He
went TO to say that he had hit 'em
with a hammer to test their strength,
an they had exploded like dynamite.
when the dentist had got this far
along in his explanation the patient
managed to spit out enough of the
cement to enable him to ask if teeth
made of that material wouldn't be liza
BILE TO explode an blow their wearer's
head off if they were bitten down hard
on a bone. The dentist replied that
such would probably be the case, an
four men in the crowd who overheard
him say it hollered out that they'd each
take a set o them explosive teeth as
soon as he could furnish them. An
the man who had had the cement in
his mouth shouted:
Me too, I've got mother-in-law
myself. st. Louis PostDispatch.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

containing four times the inhabitants
to the square mile has so protected its
game that there has been steady in
crease during the last twenty-five years,
so that now it is fully as abundant as it
was on the advent of the first settlers.
This has been brought about by careful
Legislation and faithful execution of the
laws
In that State the game is indirectly
one of the chief sources OF revenue.
Every summer sees within its border a
transient population nearly equal to the
whole number of permanent lnhabltantS.
A large proportion of these visitors are
attracted to the State on account of the
splendid sport afforded by its lakes,
streams and forests. The lakes and
streams swarm with all the finest yar1-
eties of inland fish, while the forests
abound in deer, caribou, moose and other
varieties of noble game.
OLD SOLDIERS.
San Diego Union: Patriotic people all
over the country desire that the old sol
diers shall have all proper preference for
positions under the Government. The
fact that a man has fought for his coun
recommendations he could have when
seeking public employment. AT the
same time it is possible to carry this
general principle to extremes. and this
seems to be the case in the bill recently
introduced by Representative Young of
Pennsylvania, exempting from civil serv-
ice examinations any applicant for office
who served three months or more in the
Union army or navy during the civil
war. 1t may be doubted whether this
measure will find favor even with the
veterans, the men whom it is designed
to aid. 1t practically affirms that three
months service in the army is equiv2-
lent to an education in finance, book
keeping, the mechanic arts and the gem
eral intelligence which these examina-
tionS are intended to insure in the pub
lie service 1t would have the effect to
create a privileged class of office-hOld
ers, a step that would be detrimental to
the civil service and the country at
large. The old soldiers can be aided in
all proper ways without declaring by Act
of Congress that patriotism is a substi-
tute for the special training necessary
to properly fill many places under the
Government.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Dreams Are Contrary.

When the Tenth Hussals were sta
toned at Beggars' Bush Barracks. Dub
lin, very old woman invariably await
ed the outcoming of the Colonel and
his wife. One morning, at the accus-
toned hour, the old woman began:
"Agh! me lady, success to yer lady
ship, and TO yer honors honor this day
of all the days in the year. Shure
didn't l drahme last night that her
ladyship gemme a pound o. tay and yer
honor gemme a pound of tobacco"
But my good woman" said the Col
onel, do you not know that dreams al
ways go by the rule OF contrary?"
DO they?" rejoined the old woman;
then it's yer honor that's to gimme the
tay an her ladyship the tobacco."-
Scottish Nights
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Taking No Chances.

There used to be peculiar old Justice
of the Peace in Vevay, Ind, down near
the Ohio River. who entertained very
queer notions concerning court pro-
cedure. On one occasion after the evil
dence was in and the plaintiffs attor-
ney had made an elaborate argument,
the defendants attorney arose to begin
his plea.
Held on there exclaimed the court.
Il don't believe I can let you proceed,
Mr.. Smith. I have very clear idea
now of the guilt of the prisoner at the
bar, and anything from you at this time
would have a tendency to confuse the
court. ] know the man is guilty now.
and I don't want to take any chances"
Chicago Times Herald.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
BEGINNING OF THE END.

Correspondents of the leading dailies
of the East charge that the battle at
Dhomokos was little less than mas
sacre; that the slaughter was needless,
and on the part Of the Turks barbarous,
casting in The shadow many of the
outrages in Armenia. II is added that
the battle was fought after the Greeks
had given notice that they were under
orders to act upon the defensive only.
in view of expectation of orders for an
armistice to pe sent to the Turks.
Accounts differ as TO the number of
people killed, but it is deducible from
the accounts that the number is close
upon 1,500, and may reach 1900. and
that none OF these lives would have
The record-union., 1897-05-20

1t would seem that the people of the
in declaring that the United States
ought to recognize the belligerency of
the insurgent Cubans. They seem to
think that Spain by her quick recogni-
tion of the Southern confederacy when
the American nation was battling for
life closed the door to objection against
similar action by the United States in
interest of the Cubans. And who shall
say that the people of Washington are
not right?
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Why He Was Sick.

He-Did you know that in some parts
of China pigs are harnessed to wagons? :?
She-That's nothing. Here. in this
country, pigs often ride in the street
cars, occupying seats and paying fares
just the same as men. Do you chew
tobacco?
But he had swallowed 1t and had to
get off at the next crossing.-CIeveland
Leader
The record-union., 1897-05-20
The Egg as a Medicine.

A raw egg, if swallowed in time, viii
effectualy detach la fishbone fastened
in the throat, and the whites of two
eggs viii render the deadly corrosive
sublimate as harmless as a dose of
ealomel Eggs strengthen the con-
sumptive, invigorate the feeble, and
render the most susceptible all but
proof against jaundice in its most ma
lignant form.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
SPECIAL AGENCIES.

This paper is for sale at the folloWlns
places: L. P. Fishers, room Il, Mer
chants Exchange, California street anu
the principal News Stands and Hoteis'
San Francisco.
LOS ANGELES-Eclectic Book Store
corner Second and Main streets.
SAN DIEGO-News Stand, S5U tlIlh
street.
CORONADO-Coronad Hotel News
Depot.
SANTA BARBARA-Hassing News
Depot.
FRESNO-1113 street.
SANTA CRUZ-Cooper Bros, News
Depot.
Also for sale on all trains leaving and
coming into Sacramento.
EASTERN BUSINESS HOUSES.
'"The Tribune Building, New York
City.
Western Business Office, "The Rook-
cry" Chicago.
The S. c. Beckwith Special Agency,
sole agents foreign advertising.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Getting at the Facts.

Pepper" said Willie, is this a re-
public?"
Yes, my SON.
And can we all do as we please?"
THAT is the law-unless We please TO
do what is wrong"
Is skating wrong, pa?'
No. indeed"
Then I'm going. Ma said I shouldn't,
but if the law says
He didn't go.-Taggart's Times.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
THE AFTERMATH OF THE RE-
LECTION.

To accept the forecasts of the arbi-
tration treaty press, the rejection of
that conglomerate instrument should
have brought on such an outburst of
popular indignation as to have amount
ed to threat of revolution. But nothing
of the kind happened. To the surprise
of that same press, the people received
the news of the rejection TRANQUILITY and
without loud manifestations Of sorrow.
But the treaty press has had tears to
shed, and has not restrained them, nor
harsh language. Thus the New York
World" says the rejection is shame
I'd disappointment" and that lit
not reflect the will Of the people"
Columbia Register declares that
Senate has betrayed the trust of
pie" The Boston Herald fol-
World" in crying Shame"
The Chicago Chronicle" at
the failure of ratification to
jingoism. The Baltimore
holds that the defeat was due
bination TO rebuke the CIeve-
.nistration at the first oppor-
md so the expressions run.
lal, however. discovers that
ton of the treaty has been
with an apathy on the part
aople of the country wholly I'M
d. and that would have been
sible a few months ago.
at does that mean? Simply this,
t by discussion of the questions in
olved conviction to right judgment has
prevailed. 1t is another evidence of the
fact that the people can be trusted to
come around right whenever they are
given time enough to probe a political
or economic question.
The press that was either not pro-
nounced for the treaty or was openly
opposed to it is very clear in its rea-
sons for the rejection. and is less harsh
and exultant than was expected The
York Tribune" finds mo occasion for
strong emotion in the defeat Of the
treaty" and holds that it was not
needed. The record Of this country for
peacefulness is a good one, as well as
for sincere attachment to the principle
of arbitration. It did not need 10 bind
itself hand and foot to prove all that
to England
The New York Sun" says: Nothing
was lost and much is gained by the
burial of a project dangerous to Amer
lean interests" The Detroit Tribune"
holds that we need no embarrassing
treaties of that order, which might tie
our hands against our own precipita-
ton, for we have tied our own hands
against such precipitation by wise
and conservative constitution. The
Cleveland plain Dealer holds
The principle of arbitration has not
been affected by the rejection of an
omnibus arbitration agreement Every
difficulty that arises can still be ar
ranged by Diplomatic negotiations. and
when this fails a special agreement for
arbitration may be made, as hereto
fore.
Thus it viii be seen that so far as
these leading journals reflect public
opinion. the defeat of the treaty is to
be fraught with no evil, and its adop-
tion would not have brought the bless
1ngs its advocates promised for il.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Helpless.

Wittimuff-Poor fellow, He held the
championship in heavyweight pugilism
tor some years, then he was incapaci-
tated by an operation.
isticuff-Amputated one of his arms,
l suppose?
Wittimuff-No; his tongue. Phila-
delphia Press.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Where She siesitates.

Suffragist-I tell you, woman has got
TO the point where she succeeds at
everything she undertakes
Sufferer - No, she doesn't; she is a
rank failure as an Oldest inhabitant.-
Philadelphia Press.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Must Have.

Professor-You disturbed my lecture
yesterday by loud talking.
Student-Impossible
Professor-But / heard YOU
Student-Then. l must have talked in
my sleep.-FIiegende Blaetter.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
how He Formed ftis Opinion.

He l wonder how many offers of
marriage Miss Antique has had?
She None.
He-What makes you think so?
She - She is still single. Town
TonicS
The record-union., 1897-05-20

been sacrificed had the Turkish COM
manders been moved by the slightest
humane sentiment. Not all the losses
We're by the Greeks, the Turks appear
ing to have lost many men also.
But the point of the note We make
is this, that the battle was wholly un-
necessary, and was forced by the Turk
ish commanders after they knew it to
be needless, and that the Greeks were
indispose6 to fight. OF course the Sui
tan wished to move his forces down
to the old frontier line, and imagined
that thereby he would gain position
that would strengthen his claim to the
recession of Thessaly. If any faith is
to be placed in England, however, the
Powers will never permit this to pre-
vail, since Lord Salisbury at a dinner
Tuesday night declared that the Chris
tian nations never will permit any part
of Greece, itself Christian, being turned
over to the domination of Moslems.
It is questionable whether under the
present system of cleaning the bitumen-
lied streets of this city it is necessary to
expend 81 $50 for sprinkling them. Half
that sum added to the fund of the hand
sweeping plan would keep the streets in
far better order than can be done with
sprinkling and sweeping combined. OBJ
servation would seem to sustain the
claim made by experienced men that the
spTinkling really impedes the work of
the sweepers. But of course should en-
largement of the sweeping corps and
abandonment of sprinklng to the extent
now carried on be adopted, the cross
streets UP to the very verge of the BIZ
tumen must be well and frequently
sprinkled, since it is from these earth
cross streets that the dust comes which
it is sought by spripkling to lay upon the
bitumenized highways.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
uusicaI Note.

Quericus - What do you find to be
the most difficult thing to compose?
Musician-The baby. New York
Journal.
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Wisdom of a Capitalist.

Wyld-Why doesn't your daughter
take music lessons?
Mack-I own the house adjoining
mine-Town Topics
The record-union., 1897-05-20
Weather Foreca st.

Northern California-Cloudy Thursday
In northern portion; fair in southern por
ton; cooler; westerly winds on the coast;
northerly changing to southerly winds in
land.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Ladies take DR.. Siegert's Angostura
Bitters generally when they feel low
spirited. II brightens them up imme-
Il falU
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Coronado water, Stockton sarsaparil-
la and iron, champagne cider. ginger
ale, orange cider. J. McMorry, agent
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Spring humors, eruptions, hives. boils
pimples, sores, are perfectly and per-
manently cured by Hoods Sarsaparlla
the best spring medicine and one true
blood purifier.
Hoods Pills act easily and promptly
on the liver and bowels. Cure sick
headache.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

for her. It tones up the nervous SYSTEM inyigorates
the body, and the blues" vanish before it as dark
fees from the sunlight You can get it at any
reliable druggists.
have been troubled with falling OF the womb for years,
was advised to take Lydia E. Pinlham's Vegetable
Compound. took thirteen bottles and received great
benefit When the time for change of life came sui
fered great deal with fanness and palpitation OF
the heart. 1 got bottle of the Vegetable Com
pound and of Blood Purifier and was relieved
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Try McMorry's soc uncolored Japar
tea; L. b. tea, 60c; G. p. tea, 15c; p. F
Japan tea, 40c; 531 NJ street.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Aermotor galvanized steel windmill;
best on earth. Miller Bros, agts, 1116 j. =
The record-union., 1897-05-20

RECORD-UNION TELEPHONE.
Ea;+orioI T2oorns Red 131
p,1rinasc 6Aice Black 131
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Ice-cream and cake, 10c; ice-cream
soda. &c. Eagle Confectionery, S26 Ks
The record-union., 1897-05-20

These publications are sent eltllel ~
Mail or Express to agents or single sub
scribers with charges prepaid All POST
masters are agents.
The best advertising mediums on the
Pacific Coast.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Entered at the Postoffice at Sacramento
as second-clasS matter.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

f. A. Bridgford, lawyer, Stoll build
ing, Sacramento. Tel. red. 123.
The record-union., 1897-05-20

Try McMorry's Blend Coffee. 35c. >
The record-union., 1897-05-20
THE WEEKLY UNION.
TWELVE PAGES

Is the cheapest and most desirable Home,
News and Literary journal published on
the Pacific Coast. a., oo
ne Weekly Union, per year. ......--sl W
The record-union., 1897-05-20
TIE DAILY RECORD-UNION.

A SEVEN-DAY ISSUE
For one year ...........-....-. .....'....So W W
For six months ......-....... .......... d w
For three months 15 / 50
Subscribers served by carriers at Fif-
teen cents per week. In all interior cities
and towns the paper can he had OF the
principal periodical dealers, newsmen and
agents.
The Sunday Record Union" twelve
pages. 25 cents per month, delivered by
carrier. Sent by mail at 81 per year
UPTOWN BRANCH OFFICES
At A. c. Tufts Drug Store, southeast
corner of Tenth and j streets, ana f1ar-
vey's news stand, 121 X street.
OAK PARK AGENCY-At A r.
Bakers grocery, corner Thirty-fourth
street and Sacramento avenue.
The record-union., 1897-05-20


nabled through period comfortably"
The record-union., 1897-05-20
RAILROAD TIME TABLE.

Trains Leave and are Due to Arrive at
sacramento:
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1897-01-03
Costly Etiquette.

The latest pamphlet published by tho
commission Of historical manuscripts in
London contains the following interest
ing and curious travesty on etiquette:
Tile Duke and Duchess Of Norfolk,
having been summoned to appear before
tho house of lords in 1902 in order to
plead their suit for divorce, it was de-,
batcd whether tho lord chancellor, sit
ting rs chairman, should lower his dig,
nifty by bowling to tho duchess and speak
ing to her only with his cap i'll his hand.
This question was argued for several
days i'll the house of lords until debate
exhausted itself and several duels result
cd. AT length it was decided that the
lord chancellor should first receive tho
bows of tho duke and duchess and re-
turn them with uncovered head and aft.
er that he should replace his cap" This
rule WIS followed to the letter and is
still adhered to today whom similar con-
tingencies arise.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1897-01-03
LEGaL NO ICES.

of the railroads, properties, anu franchises
described III the decree entered in the said
cause toreclosine the 100 year mortgage
OF the Norfolk and Western Railroad
Company may be required to pay as part
consideration aud in addition to the sum
bid for such railroads, properties and
franchises, to present such claims in writ
ing to the undersigned receivers for al
lowance or payment. at the law Offices of
SHARP X HUGHES, Rooms 5O4-506 Col
umbia building, in the city of Norfolk,
State of Virginia; and that any such
claims which shall not he so presented or
iiied within the period of six months
after the first day of January, 1897, shall
not be enforceable against the receivers
or against the property sold under said
DEGREES, or against the purchaser of such
property or its successors or assigns.
+. J. KIMBALL,
HENRY FINK,
Receivers.
Norfolk, Va, Dec. 10, 1896. 10 % CIV
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1897-01-03
ELECTRlC BITTERS-

Electric I'itters is medicine suited for
any season, but perhaps more generally
needed when the languid, exhausted feel
ing prevails, when the liver is torpid and
sluggish and the need of Il tonic and
Alternative is felt Aprompt use of this
medicine has often avcrted long and per-
haps fatal bilious fcvers. No medicine
will act more surely in countcracting
and freeing the system from nalaral
poison. Headache, Indigestion, Consti-
patton, Dizziness yield to Electric Bitters.
SOC and $l.0O per bottle at Massic's phar-
macy, 100 Jefferson street, Roanoke.
The Roanoke daily times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1895-1897, 1897-01-03
LEGAL NOTICES.

ners as c. Ou.eary & Co.; L. IL. Stewart,
y. =. Staples, trustee; j. +. Christian,
trustee; l.. IL. Cooke, trustee: Eliza Z.
Wood; w. j. Blair, and l.. Blair, Jr.,
partners MS w. j. * l.. Blair, Jr; H. G.
Macklin, +. Dider, II. w. Spindle, j. ii.
Cook, w. c. WalstrUm. d. II.
NIatson, II. T. Wood, Geo. w. Ramsey
Leigh Blckner, JAS. L. Grey, II. \.
Buckner, J. G. Rawn, JAS. ID. Mason; II.
II. Tillett, administrators of f. NJ Wade
deceased Jas. Caskie, Jas. c. Cassell, G..
G. Garrett, NJ. z. Davis, Barnes NJ
Rucker; Mary T.. Hardy, administrative
of John 4. Hardy. deceased; Alexander
Hamilton, w. S. Venable, l.. y. Blake,
w. r. McKenny. ID. II. Scott, b. A.
Rives and Roanoke Real Estate Syndi-
cafe, a corporation.
You and each of you will take notice
that on Thursday, January 81, 1877, ut
the law offices of Johnston, Graves s.
Johnston, 210 Commerce street, in the
city of Roanoke, Va, commencing Mt 10
O'Clock a. M, l, as commissioner in cham
Gerry of the Hastings Court for said city,
viii proceed to execute the decree of said
court, entered therein on December IL,
1896, and will perform the duties requir-
ed of me by said decree, and will take,
state, and report to the court as follows I:
/. An account of the real estate men
toned and described in the bill Of the
plaintiffs, together with the liens thereon,
showing their dignities and prioritics.
=. An account showing the balance due
to the plaintiffs or others on account Of
the deferred purchase price OF the said
property. In this account the commits
sioncr shall state the amount of such de
terred unpaid purchase money to which
each of the pla ntiifs is entitled.
3. An account showing all payments,
if any, made To j. L. Christian, trustee,
on account of the purchase price of said
property which remains undisbursed by
him, and who is entitled to the same, and
the amount to which each is entitled.
4. Any other account deemed pertinent
by the said commissioner or required by
any proper party to this suit Ivy filing in
writing before him, before the said ac-
count is closed. Il statement hereof.
1t is provided by said decree that pub.
LEGATION of this notice once II week for
four successive weeks in some newspa-
per published in the city of Roanoke,
Va. shall be equivalent to personal SER
vice to all the parties TO said cause, both
plaintiffs and defendants All persons
interested in the subject matter of said
suit are requested TO attend before the
commissioner ut the time ana place mer-
toned, and furnish Inn with such evil.
dencc rs they may have, and which may
he necessary to IL settlement of said ac-
count.
Should the taking of said accounts he
not commenced on the lay specified, or
if commenced bc not completed, Tie same
will he adjourned from day to day, or
from time to time, without further no.
ticc, until the same shall he concluded.
JAS. ID. JOHNSTON, JR.,
Commissioner in Chnncery.
II 20 law lw