The Jersey City news. (Jersey City [N.J.]) 1889-1906, 1897-09-02
fur 0Monaen

The unwelcome conviction is gradually
forcing itself upon me that. generally
speaking. girls are getting a little the
best of the training, which, if true, all
must admit is an unfortunate state OF
affairs. Possibly this arises from the
fact that most of the training falls upon
the women of the community, whose
minds naturally appreciate the needs of
the sex. However that may be. We find
here and there, schools and kitchen gar
dens for girls. Maidens are shown how
to perform the rudiments of housekeep-
ing-to wash dishes, set and serve the
table, make the beds. They are trained
in the art of building fires, which is GER
tainly a matter of great Importance to
the future husbands of the city; are
taught to cook various dishes and to
roast meat. The value of all these ac-
ccmplishments annot be questioned.
They are Foundation stone in our elabo-
rate social structure. The morals. the
very civilization, perhaps the sanity of
the community, are largely dependent
uron them. Iwould not have this solicit
tude for girls abated one jot or little.
Give them all the preliminary training in
housekeeping possible.
But how about the boys? Is any one
teaching them to carve that roast or
turkey after it comes steaming from the
household laboratory2 This is no matter
for trifiing. Far from it. 1t is serious
in the extreme, as many a man and many
d woman will bear witness. For, say
what you will, carving plays an important
part in Society. Much discontinue and
many a heartaehe, yes, and stomach
ache. is. in store for that boy and his
friends. if he is permitted to grow to
maturity without having learned to
carve.
TIL time vii: surely come when he will
be confronted with the perplexing prob
lem. how to dissect the turkey, how to
properly carve the rrcast. Such a mo-
ment is one of the most critical in a
mans career. The guests. who have
long been saving their appetites for the
OCCASION, are at last seated at the table.
The roast. a pile of plates and a dozen or
more hungry looks confront this pitiable
isnoramus. The head of the house, his
wife-poor soul-looks anxious, as well
she may; but he is a man, made of stern
er stuff; he assumes a calmness born of
desperation.
While anxiously scrutinizing the steam
ing platter to discover whether it contains
fish, fowl or flesh, and on which end he
should begin operations. a happy idea
seizes him. . He calls for the steel and
with a series of muscular strokes proceeds
to take off what little. edge the blade pos
sesses. 1t is strange what a feeling of
Importance and confidence is engendered
by the simple act Of sharpening a knife
a feeling out of all proportion to the re-
suit attained. With perspiration starting
from every pore, he throws one quick
nervous glance at the flushed cheeks of
his wife: yet, strong to the last wearing
the look of one who has long been accus-
toned to carve for a livelihood, he pre-
pares for the onslaught. The supreme mo-
ment of his life has arrived.
For untold ages the universe has been
working up to this point. Painful is the
ensuing struggle, and the Recording Angel
drops a tear. The guests talk of other
matters and try to look unconcerned but
they are alive to every contortion, and
the poor fellow knows it.
Ol waat avail IS ordinary education on
occasions like this? Lawyers, scholars,
alike. are helpless in the presence of this
crisis. He may be abundantly able to cal
culas s the distance of the airship from the
eartA. or to find the cornerstone of a city
lot. but where Is the mathematical formu-
Ia bv which he can determine the exact
construction of a roast fowl? He may
understand Browning; science may be an
open book; he may be able to trace the
evolution OF the steaming bird from its
primordial unit to the Dime table. In
vaini In vain, Under excitement of bat
tie men have faced almost certain death
with less anxiety than he feels in the pre-
sence of that inoffensive turkey.
At last he hacks on a leg and sepa-
rates the joint. If he could only take the
fowl out back OF the barn and put his
foot on it. He tries to joke as he re-
moves several savory slices from the
tablecloth. But all the time his appetite
is constantly waning and that of the
guests growing more keen. 1t is with
flushed cheeks, trembling arms and a
tired feeling that he finally serves the last
plate. his own. with the despised neck.
and giving a. mental sigh of relief, sinks
into a less strained position, only TO dis
cover that several of the first plates he
filled are about empty. But the worst is
over. The guests are having a good time.
Jokes fly thick and fast, and under cover
OF the general merriment and good fell
l0WSHlp, H6 Gradually 4CSofCio las AAShA
equilibrium.
Hence, I say. let as not neglect the
boys. 1t is well enough to train the girls;
they need it. But If you would confer
a blessed boon on humanity, teach the
boys to carve; they will be a pleasure
to themselves and their friends All such
narrowing experiences will be turned to
ioy. The carving knife is mightier than
the sword, and the man who goeth forth
to the feast, proud in the consciousness
that he can carve a turkey, is a person
to be envied. What shall We say of the
man to whom the carving for a company
is merely a pleasing incident in the daily
routine2 What shall we say of that
wonderful being who can carve and tell
a good story at the same time? Such
men actually exist. Their name is not
legion. 1t is true; but they dwell among
us, and seldom, if eyer, give themselves
airs over this accomplishment. Yet, is it
not a remarkable accomplishment?
To carve we'll is a great thing; few can
do it. To tell a good story is perhaps
greater. But to carve and tell a story
at the same timel To what heights does
not man sometimes attain! / know such
a man. He moves among his fellow
citizens like common humanity. Dignity.
wealth., learning, all are his; l envy them