New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-03-02
JONAH.
DR.. -double-b.

Dr. A-double-b
Saws they didn't know everythn' down in JUDGE.
indianapolis Journal.
Gadzooks-I hear that young Brown-Jones became
a lion within a week after his book appeared
Zounds-Yes and then he became ass.
Puzzle in Horticu,ture-I.lttle Chrs-Daddy.
what makes onions?
Daddy-Seeds OF course.
Little Chris-Then what makes seeds?
Little Chris Crumphanty)!Then why don't us
feed the canary on onionS' discontinue ana re-
treat OF Daddy)-(Punch
The senior class OF the Columbus (Kan) High
School have requested the privilege OF being gradu-
ated with the class OF 80 OF the Neosho public
schools They make the request In order TO avoid
being graduated with negro member OF their class
II the authorities accele their petition 1t will be
in order congratulate tho negro; for he will not
have 10 be graduated with parcel OF young fools
Transmigra tion-The Metaphysical-Ony fancy
that there dwells In yonder woman the soul OF a
lion tiger
The Matcria-She does seem full OF animal spirits.
doesn't she?-tDetroit journal.
General Hadley the head Of the Episcopal Church
Army recently organized says: ut has thirty
four labor houses where the poor and broken down
man may apply for help and shelter and where the
criminals and paupers may go, from which they
may obtain start In the world The ramps and
poor men will work IL you give them chance In
the proper way Thirty lone bands have been estab-
lished for parish work. We go into families and we
visit every house and stir the people up, and as
result church services Will be held in that place
regularly thereafter and with good results. We
now have 800 missions In the United States. al doing
good work We educate them in our church SER
vices and it Is very seldom that lose man who
has been confirmed There Is no church that has
such a splendid service for these people the
Episcopal Church We are charitable to them
never cold; and win them"
Mr. Jones Cat 2 a m. up the speaking tube)-I
want DR. Crab come out.
Or. crab (who objects TO being reused at such an
unearthy hour)-Dr. Crab isn't In.
Mr. Jones-oh. isn't he? Then must go and in
form the police that there is ASSURANCE man In his
bedroom.-(Pick Me-up
The system OF summer schools in Minnesota. for
the education OF public school teachers. Is most
efficient The State supports teachers training
schools in nearly every county during four weeks Of
six school days each. and in the coming summer the
number Of schools 10 be conducted viii. be forty
four Experienced instructors are engaged AT liberal
compensation and the railroad fare OF the teachers
attending L. paid The average attendance in past
summers has been 100 which is about e-fourths
Of the total number OF teachers in the State.
PreJudIced.-"That sporting editor OF yours has a
queer way OF pronouncing the word golf | asked
him s little while ago "ha' he called 1t and he said
Tina, wasn't the sporting editor, That was the
agricultural editor. "-tChicago Tribune.
The Supreme Court Of Wisconsin has decided that
the State Board OF Health has no right to vaccnate
against his her will any person who Gains
empton on the ground tina; he or she regards the
operatlon as morally wrong and In violation OF the
laws OF God"
4 grewsome advertisement OF bicycle fixtures Is
displayed In the window OF a store on Market-st
above Tenth. a bicycle Is rugged up In the window
and upon II sits skeleton scorcher. The bony
fingers clutch the handle bars and the heshess feet
ara firmly hxed to the pedals. The skull Is fitted
with A powerful. electric lamp, and the light CLEANS
very welrdly through the hollow sockets where the
ayes rad once been An electric motor supplies the
power which drives the wheels around. and the leg
bones rattle up and down rapidly, and the jawbone
moves regular as though the skeleton were busly
chewing gum Philadelphia Record