The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1897-09-28
BILL ARP ON MATRIMONY.
he Thinks May and December Should
Not Wed-Whon They Do the Old
Man Ought to Die Soon.

Man Ought to Die Soon.
Whenever there is trouble and | can't
give any relief or remedy, it distresses
me. especially when the trouble is of a
domestic character. Now here is a let
ter from a man who says, 81 know a
mana neighbor-who is OF a warm.
affectlOnate, passionate nature, and
loves his wife to distraction, but she is
calm and cold and conservative by ma
ture and, therefore, Indifferent 20 his
caresses, n whenever he ventures to
kiss her and put his arms about her
b repels him with such expressions
as, ON, Tom, get a away, don't bother
me-" Sne is a pure, good woman and
loves her husband in her way, but she
never meets him at the door when he
comes home tired or disappointed with
his days work. The poor fellow is
really .pining away and languishing for
lack OF love-for~ reciprocity, as it were,
and can't get it. Now, what is the
remedy? Can't you bring your univer-
sal philosophy to bear upon this case
and solve the problem?'
No, | cannot | am helpless. Moth
ing but time will equaliZe and har-
monize that couple. | am afraid their
union was a misft, but he took her for
better or worse and must be reconciled.
In fact, he ought to be thankful in
these degenerate days that he has found
q pure, good woman, even If she is not
as tumultuous in her love as he would,
like her to be. But time is d good doc
tor. Time will assuage him down some
and will tone her up some, for q man
and his wife get more and more alike
as the years roll on. There we're some
good friends at my house last night and
L seriously road to them this letter and
asked Tor advice about answering 1t.
They all agreed that the man was not
writing about his neighbour, but was
relating his own pitiful condition.
A married mar said: "Write him to
get away and quit bothering her when
she says So"
A bachelor friend said, "Write him
to hirt a little with anothe: mans wife
and she will come to her senses mighty
quick and return bis caresses."
"That Is all you know about it," said
another dame. 1.-THE Hirtations OF q
husband destroy love and happiness,
100. They are more apt to bring con-
tempt and even corn. A true m
will suffer and endure any fault or fail
ing except that"
young married woman said timidly,
she must be a very strange kind of a
Wouloh uot w Ike CdFeSSlDR, OUT L 40
think h ought to meet him at the
door and give him q smile or two when
he comes home"
He must be a right good man and [
am sorry for him." said a lassie In her
teens. "Or maybe he Is go horrid, coarse
and ugly that no self-respecting woman
would want him ~hothering her for
kisses and caresses every time he came
about" said a lassie out OF her teens.
Maybe he smoked and his breath
was d~isagreeable," said a benedict who
never used tobacco.
So / got but little comfort from this
goodly company and my wife opvinued
the discourse by remarking In her quiet
way, s'Well, l think your friend had
better have kept his misery to himself.
Let him stick to his promises that he
made at the altar"
"Or apply for a writ OF mandamus
and make her kiss him according to
law" said a leaned Judge who was
present. 1T would make her recipro.
cate IL the case was In my court. The
writ of mandamus Is a far-reaching and
effectual process"
Well OF course, the conversation
drifted TO the topic Of May and Decom-