The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1897-06-01
THE NEWBERRY HERALD AND NEWS, JUNEi, 1897.
T!umps from Various Quarters.

MIR. Pick Williams, Of FactOryville,
while coming to Newbcrry on the
train u few days ngo swung out from
! the platform of the coach and got his
head bumped pretty scvurely against &
post or something standing near the
track as tkc train was passing.
Several Of the college boys went fish
ing last Saturday. Well, what did
they catch? Why they caught them.
selves walking back withot any fish.
a certain young man called on q
young lady last Sunday evening, but he
wasn't there long before he got hold of
the young lady's hat. She asked him
for it, but he held on to it saying that
he wanted something to play with,
whcrcupon the young lady handed him
small looking glass and asked him il
he thought he wouldn't find more
amusement in looking at that article.
The poor fellows face exhibited every
color Of the rainbow.
Those who failed to hear tho address
OF the Hon. Patrick Walsh at the
opera house last Wednesday night
missed grand treat. He took for his
subject, "Thc Industrial South,n and
left not II stone unturncd in showing up
the natural advantages OF our section.
We hope to see the speech reported in
full. 1t would be II grcat and helpful
lesson for every newspaper reader to
study as we'll as read, and ih.n cut it
out and lay it away for future refer
cncc.
We'll, here comes Chips with Il prop
Ositi0n for q watermelon and ice cream
festival. Oh aint it good! Yes, but say
friend. VIC would like to offer an
amendment to that proposition. Don't
you believe that watcrmclons cat bet
ter in the country than in town? If, as
you say, it is our time to treat the Ed
iLor don't you think it would be better
TO make him come to our corn instead
Of taking it to him? We had TO come
to his corn, now let's make him come to
ours by having this meeting somewhere
in the country, say at your house for
instance. Wouldn't the Editor enjoy
| it better? OF course he would. The
fresh country air and pleasant eight
Or ten mile drive would 10 him good.
besides this y0u can fix up Il contriv-
nnrc which the children call II "scc
| saw and by putting the Editor ON one
end and host Of his correspondents on
the other we can give him enough gen
| uinc country exercise to last him Il
| whole year. Besides all this we can
| run foot races down the road aud 90
out there on that big old sand bar near
your house and wrcStlr and box and
Jump poles 1, ) and six feet from the
ground and have IL jolly old time by
having regular revival Of the Olym-
pic games which were once SO poi ular
in ancient Greece, where the victor
was crowned by his lady or his sweet
heart with II wreath Of flowers, or DOS
sihly with some other more costly cm-
blem Of success. Now we couldn't have
all this fun in town because we would
| not have enough elbow room. Now,
above all, Chips, don't forget to put up
that "scc saw
Chips says that when he gets to be
governor he is not going to give uny
body soft job until his kin folks have
bcen satisfied and he takes special care
TO remind Kay and Josh of this inten-
ton. Now this socms rather hard and
to say the least ungratcful when we
remember that Kay and Josh did SO
much towards helping Chips get those
pictures aud that big dinner last
March. But look! Through the dark
| cHpnnsc of the future mcthinks see Il
glimmering lightand ray of hope. See
here Kay do you calizc that your condi-
tion is hopeless? If you don't believe
it you just ask Mrs. Kay. AS for the
undersigned it is possible for him to
persuade one Of the little Misses Chips
to cspousc our causo-and nothing only
we wOrld only insist on Governor Chips
giving al his kin folks Il soft Job before
accommodating any one else.
JOSH TRRMP.