Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-10-21
sIllIzNg..
(ESSgEIl1f,

marry OLD DOuuerlys neal AS bSD
horribly jealous without any cause.
Maud-Don't be anxious. dear; III take
care he never does that.--Pick-Me-Up.
Two hours Of sleep before midnight
are better than four after that hour.
"Fiddlesticks! Two hours Of sleep AT
ter one In the morning are better than
all the others."'-West Union Gazette.
"Bless my sonlv' cried the shade, as
he entered the golden gates and they
gave him trumpet; Il never learned
to play this thingw "That's the reason
you're here" remarked st. Peter.-Ba-
Ear.
Reporter--Well, got the great DR..
Slasher to sign that article for next
Sundays edition. Edltor-Good! But
what kept you 30 long? Reporter
Why, the idiot wanted to read it,
Judge.
"My wife is rearing Bobby very care
fully. When he is dlsobedient he goes
to bed without his dinner" isn't
that rather severeY mo; she always
carries his dinner up to him"-Chicago
Record.
Wheeler (whO rides a Lightning
You ought to get lock for that wheel.
Scorcher (who rides Blue Streak)-
Think so? Wheeler-Yes. Some one
might steal it--for the lamp.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
Mickey Dorlan-Hullo. Bill! How did
you like being caddie? Billy Nolan
All, didn't like 1t at all, mt all. First
de Teller he towld me ter kape me eye
on the ball, den he gave me de ball In
de eye.-BaZar.
"Do get my riparian rights with
this wheel?" asked the lady of lam
guage. "Get what?" asked the clerk,
surprised into rude abruptness. RI
parian rights, said. Do you repair
itY-Indianapolis Journal.
Rouser-How accurately are the Ills
of nation reflected in the breasts Of
her loyal sons. Watson-What do you
mean? Rouser-Take me, for instance.
I'm desperately In need Of more rev.
enue-Philadelphi North American.
$50 that young man says he would
lay his fortune at your feetY' said Ma
bells father. EYES," $50 he h4&'t
done So" "N-no.' s'And perhaps You
can tell why?' II guess, father. that
he hasn't had it told .yet.'--Washing-
ton Star. .4t.r .a.a+-t
1T Is the nature Of child to be
wanting to do something" said the.e
thusiastic kindergartener. .As faraas
/ have noticed" said the mother OF
six, ut Is the nature Of child to be
wanting to do something els" Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Batterton Banged-No, mum, it's
in me princypuls t chop huff wood
fer We t cook me bre'kfuss wild, but ef
you've a mind ter cook it on dat gas
stOve, III break de iron-clad rules 4 de
associashun I b'lOngs to. an turn on
de gas.--Puck.
II may have bitten off more than l
tor, as the young gazeIle disappeared
within fits capacious jaws; "but. thank
fortune, I don't have to cheww And
| 1t curled itself up for six-weeks' nap.
Chicago Tribune.
He-Er-these stories your father
tells abort thesthfngs he saw ont West,
you know. She-Well? He-Ought
to laugh mt their improbablity and
make him think am smart, or ought
| to pretend that I believe them?-CiD-
cinnatf Enquirer.
First Cyelist-I always get nervous
| when see a woman crossing the street
ahead of me. Second Bicyclist-So do
r. They have SO many pins in their
clothes that II n fellow collides with
| them he IS almost sure to puncture q
tire.-Spare Moments.
Torne Tatters-Uv course it's none
NV my business, pard, but wuz you
| ever married? Rambling Rube-No!
wot makes yon ask? Torne Tatters
Why, was wonderful how you ever
acquired dat In It nv sleepin' wit yer
hands in yer pockets.-Puck.
Colonel, we are intending to erect
an artistic drinking place In the center
! of the park, and thought perhaps you
| might subscribe small-" ''The
| project is sheer nonsense. sir. Do you
| imagine TO an instant that the city will
grant a ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Jour
| nal.
''These stripes. sighed the convict,
make man feel small" The kind
woman who had come into the dark
| some place to cheer him smiled radiant
ly. ':Only Think" she urged, ''how
much smaller they would make you IL
they ran up and down your sult."-De-
troit Free Press.
Stern Parent-Well, sir. don't know
as l am particularly DESTROYS of be-
coming your father-in-law. young man!
| Cholly Seeke-Er-eh-I n-ne-never
thought of that. You w-wo-would b-be
my father-in-law, wouldn't you? g.
| guess Wen l-let the-er-m-matter
drop; g-good d-day.-Truth.
I She-I would like marriage license.
| -Well-er-madam, but 1t is Gus
tomary for the gentleman to She
Not in this case-the gentleman can't
come. He objected, an for time II
looked as If there wasn't goin' to be any
wedding. He'll be able to be around
tomorrow; so you can just give 1t to
| mo -Jl1dve