davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1897-02-28
TRAGEDY AMONG THESPIANS.
FIR. Phosphorus VIII Converse No
More Over Telephones.

The drama of contemporaneous hui
man instincts is by no means dead, al
though there may be very little signs
OF its existence upon the stage at the
present day. However, if the stage sees
it no longer, the drama of contempor-
aneous human interest is constantly be-
ing played in real life, as the following
little tragedy amply illustrates:
Scene: Reception-roOm of a vaude
Vile theatrical agent. Time: Yester-
day afternoon. Characters: y number
of artists in the song and dance, special
ty, blackface. low comedy, high-kick
ing line. At rise Of curtain confusion of
voices, from which one can occasionally
catch such phrases as: Il done il
grand" knocked 'em silly" "oh.
didn't do a thing to 'em," had to take
de paper off de wall to get de people in
de house" Il was just bad, l don't
think" etc.
Enter Office boy at practicable door
c.
Office boy Qn loud. authoritative. al
most insolent tones)-Is Mister Alphon-
so Phosphorus here?
Phosphorus (rising and Frightening
up)-I am; what's wanted?
Office Boy-You're wanted at de teller
phone down stairs.
Phosphorus (to bOy)-All right; III be
there right off. aside to the company
can't keep the girls from 'phoning me,
it's getting to be quite a bore. Crosses
right and exits door CO
Dancer-It's too bad about those girls!
Singer-They're mashed on him-nit
Trick bfcyclist-What'd he do if he
got puncture?
End man-Did L ever tell you about
the time when 1 made me big hit singln'
DE Yellow Coon Rode on a
Club swinger-That reminds me of
how | done em up in Kankakee. Let
me see, that was in 1888 We had just
Sdnger-La, la, la, da, da. ira. la, Ia,
loo! Therel I've got it. I've got it.
That's the great song I sang with cleo
tric success when 1 was with-(end man
takes packages of cigarettes from his
pocket)
Chorus breaking into singers speech)
Pass EN- round, old man. business.
Cigarettes passed around, empty'box
returned to end man. Cigarettes lighted
sive reports from red-headed matches.
All are enveloped in a cloud of smoke
Enter Phosphorus at door c.
Phosphorus (eXcitedly)-Hide me!
End man-What'S the matter?
Phosphorus-The telephone man is
after me.
The record-union., 1897-02-28
RECENT INVENTIONS.

a patented lamp for generat-
ing and burning acetylene gas consists
OF the combination of an outer vessel
for holding water with a cylinder open
at the bottom and provided with means
Tor regulating the passage of gas from
its upper part, the cylinder being sup
ported in the vessel; vessel for hold
ing carbide of calcium being support ed
in the cylinder and provided with an
upwardy-projecting perforated pipe
having a valve at its lower end for per-
mitting the water to enter in prear-
ranged quantity and act upon the car
bide of calcium to form the gas.
The use of forced fame in soldering
irons has just been patented. the OIL
being stored in part of the handle, the
end portion containing an air pump to
obtain the first air pressure. which is
afterward supplied by the expansion of
the gas formed from the oil, the gas
being forced by its own pressure
through an opening near the bar of
solder attached to the lower end of the
tool, where it is ignited for use
One OFF the newest inventions in chalk
lime holders is a spool on which the line
is held composed of two sections. one
sliding into the other and both together
forming a receptacle to hold powdered
chalk. the line passing Through the
chalk receiver as it is unwound, thus
doing away with the necessity of draw
ing it across a cake of chalk every time
1T is needed.
4 To move rocking chairs across the
floor without sliding or lifting them a
new device has two rollers ON wheels
attached to the inside of the rockers
and connected by a chain, a pull on the
chain throwing them down into posi-
ton below the lower edge of the rocker
for use in rolling the chair about.
The use of a fiat coiled spring in
spring rocking chairs has recently been
pa tented, the outer end of the spring
being fastened to the upper portion of
the chair and the innner end placed in
a socket in the base of the rocker.
Acetylene gas is used in supercarbon-
izing or hardening ar1nor plates, the
plates being subjected in a heated con-
dition to contact with the gas The pro-
cess was recently patented.
The record-union., 1897-02-28

server" (PreS). Like almost any other
popular cry, the word may mean several
different things. There is a true libeg-
ality and there are false liberties Free
dom is noble possession if it be free
dom from the right things and in the
proper sphere. No one can pretend that
slavery in either thought or custom is
desirable. Shackles are not a pretty
form of bracelets, and God never desires
that men should wear such bonds. If
this is true in general, it is true also of
Christian experience. There is a liberty
in Christ which is the prerogative of
every believer. None is justified in lord
ing it over his brothers faith. We are
free men in the Lord. There is no free
dom in this world, however, that does
not have its qualifications and its obli
cations. Liberality is not license. We
thing we please. True, free liberality is
freedom to do the right thing. Law
must regulate liberality. The liberty
must be within the facts. For what
after all is it that makes a man truly
free? 1t is the truth of God. If the
truth therefore shall make you free ye
shall be free indeed 1t is wise, then, to
be just as liberal as the truth is, and it
is not safe to be any more liberal than
the truth in the case, whatever it is,
warrants. To be reckless in opinion and
assertion argues neither sense nor sensi-
bility. To heedlessly fly out against all
received views, in theology or in any
other sphere, simply because they have
hpan clio of oil 4
is no less true for being old nor any the
more acceptable because novel"
I'VE cannot speak too strongly of the
work of Mr.. Moody as an evangelist.
So long as he devotes himself to that"
says the New York Independent"
'and urges us to labor for the same
great object of securing the conversion
of unbelievers, he can do only good.
But Mr.. Moody is, as We all know, an eX-
treme literalist in his biblical interpre-
tation, a fact which has led him TO give
to his Mortified summer meetings an
unfortunate premillennarian direction
that has, in some years, diminished
their usefulness. We are willing he
should be as literal as he pleases in his
own Interpretation of Scripture, but
he needs to be careful how he charges
his brethren with taking the supernat-
ural out of the Bible, or how he readily
accepts the testimony against the
churches of such letters as that which
he quotes in his communication. There
is coldness and worldliness in the
churches; but never, since apostolic
times, has there been more warmth and
more otherworldliness than there is at
this present time"
The record-union., 1897-02-28
PERSONAL PARAGRAPHS.

capt. Elizabeth NJ. Clark of the Saliva
tfon Army is probably one of the best
educated women in the organization,
She has studied at Wellesley Bryn
Mawr, Zurich and Leipsic. She hs a
daughter of William w. Clark n
Dutch Reformed minister. and a great
niece of Bishop Clark of Rhode Island
She went abroad to study Teutonfc
phflology and in Zurich met Gem
er1al Booth, became interested in his
work, and afterward, upon going to
London, met Major Susie Swift. a Vas
sar graduate, and Joined the army. She
has worked with the army in Cardiff.
London, Glasgow and New York. She
has been q member of the Salvation
Army three years, and now edits its
child's paper. THE Young Soldier" and
It's illustrated magazine, The Conquer
orr
Alfred f. Calvert, one of London's
West Australian mimonaires, was re-
puted to be worth 81. 100000 in cash a
year ago. AT that time a British and
French syndicate offered him $1,000
600 for his gold mine holdings. The
offer was refused and a course of reck-
less eXtrava gance was entered upon.
Within the last few days Mr.. Calvert
has sold for 1925, 900 the properties
that he refused $5000,000 for a year
ago.
The Duchess of Newcastle. who for
several years has owned THE best ken
mel of Russian wolf hounds in England,
has been asked by the Barzoi Club 10
judge the Barzol or Russian wolf
bounds at its coming show, which will
be held at Southport some time in the
spring. Mrs. H. L. Hofsfail will be the
judge of Great Danes az. the foruhcom-
ing dog Show in Liverpool.
Miss Donica, Assistant Professor in
the lola High School of Kansas. has
fused an increase of salary, giving as
"a reason the rsanark attributed TO Ag-
assiz, that she couldn't afford to waste
time in making money"
Alfred Barrett. a son of William Bar
rert. the English actor, who formerly
managed his fathers Grand Thaateg. at
Leeds. has left England and will here
after devote himself to farming in New
Zealand.
The record-union., 1897-02-28

Chorus-E,Xplaini Explain!
Phosphorus-You know l answered
the call at the telephone
Chorus teagerly)-Yes! YeSi
PhospbOrus-A female voice called.
is that YOU, Mister Pkosphorus?"
answered Yes" The voice said: Did
you call me up?" I said no" The voice
said: "Oh, excuse me. thought you
did. Good-by"
End MAXWELL. that's nothing.
Phosphorus-Just wait till I gee
through. l hung up the receiver, and,
saying Thank YOU to the telephone
man, turned to so. Hold on" said he,
ten cents, please; this Is a pay sta
ton" What was l to do? I hadn't 4
cent. l made a bluff. l said: Excuse
me for minute. All my change is IN
my overcoat." Then / ducked. but this
settles the girly-girl business. No moro
talks over the pay telephone. That fell
lows after me! III see you all later.
CTries to make quick exit door c. is met
by big man, who grapples with him;
they disappear struggling; loud crash
without. The tragedy has reached a
thrilling climax. Quick curtain. Times
Herald.
The record-union., 1897-02-28
HIS FAVORITE BOOK.

Speakin' of books-they's some that looks
lnvitin' as that strawstack yunder,
Whur the cattle air, in the barnyard there
A-pull'n and chawn away like thunder
And IN my day I've chawed that way
Hun hours at books, when thur wasn't
very
Much work to do: but tell you
like the old big dictionary!
It's in that chair a-settin' where
My youngest boy was usin' of it
AT dinner time-you seen him climb
Upon it then? That's why | love it.
us leaves are torn; the hide is worn
clean through in spots, upon its covers
But when ! set, with both ewes shet
1t gives me dreams jest like some lovers,
And | go clear back forty year.
And, jest a little hungry Teller
Set perched again on that same plain
Oid D0ok-then fresh and young and
At dinner. and my mothers hand
IS toyin with my curls contrary;
And that is why l guess. that /
Like oest the old big dictionary
The record-union., 1897-02-28
THE CITY CLAIMING.

Lots Of fun in town.
Whatsoe 'er your taste:
Not single day or night
Needs 10 so 10 waste,
The3ters galore,
Opera-tGe best;
Lcctures-o'e er "a score.
Windows Crandly dressed,
shops a jubilee
Gorgeous I'm display:
Large amounts 10 SEQ
Small amounts to pay
Panoramic streets.
Cars to make one stare,
Like Aladdiu's rug
Flying through the air.
PaintiuCs-IU you need:
Restaurants 50 fine:
Every kind of creed
That YOU can divine.
ModiSteS-bost on earth;
Social circles-right:
Women fair TO see;
Cavaliers polite,
Buildings mountains high:
eople full of go"
Jolly old New York
NiCest town I know,
The record-union., 1897-02-28
He Didn't Catch On.

Chawley-What did you say to nv
wife last night that made her draW
such a longing, hopeful sign?
Reggy-I told her that she would
make the most stunning widow in all
New York if she had the opportunity.
ChaWley-Ah, / don't wonder that
you are SO popular. You have tho
knack of saying such deucid charming
things to the ladies, don't you know.
Do have a drink.-New York Journal.
To Cure Cold in One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets.
fails to cure. 21c.
The record-union., 1897-02-28
Irregular Regularity.

The Rev. Mr.. Wilgus-My good man.
do you attend religious services every
Sabbath?
Dismal Dawson-I alluz do when I'm
in jail.-Indianapolis Jorunal-
The record-union., 1897-02-28

It makes your life happy because You feel that
the greatest Of Natures gifts has been preserved you
1t makes your nerves strong and gives you the sensation
OF true manhood makes you power among
they recognize in you a superior type Of man.
1t Is worth while being strong man. because one
ten really and truly free from the effects
in youth.
The who is lacking in vital force only man
He lacks confidence in himself he ideas and
slow of brain; his sleep is unrereshng heart
weak he is really the verge collapse the
time, and easily gives to temptations
the who needs such a remedy as
The record-union., 1897-02-28

To keep sick room clean where the
carpeted floor cannot be swept, a pro-
fessional nurse Will go over the carpet
with a cloth wrung out of warm water,
in which has been put little ammo
MA Upholstered furniture is treated
in the same way If that is part of the
furnishings. In many new houses a
sick room is included in the architects $
plan. This may be used for another
o,.rnrra while the family is unaffected.
The record-union., 1897-02-28

1--WE hear great deal said regarding
Iiberality.'" says the new York "Ob-
The record-union., 1897-02-28

A cooking teacher says that the
whites of eggs can be beaten most
quickly if a pinch of cream of tartar in
the proportion Of an eighth Of a tea
spoonful to each egg be first added.
The record-union., 1897-02-28

Some one suggests that women be
made superintendents Of business build
lng's. 1t is thought that their qualities
as housekeepers might be put to good
use in seeing that the dusting was more
thoroughly done, finger marks removed
from furniture, and d general regard
given to the details of the housekeep-
ing
The record-union., 1897-02-28

In buying large rugs for the library
or dining room floor it is often possi-
bic to get the poles on which they are
rolled. These viii be found useful on
cleaning days. The rug is handled
much more easily by rolling it up on it's
pole than by dragging or carrying it.
The record-union., 1897-02-28

EXpecto1ating in omnibuses is for
hidden in London. and a sign to the
effect that the practice Is not worthy
Of a scholar and a gentleman-not pro
hibitory. but pleading-has been seen
for some time in the Belfast trans 3"
Tobacco juice makes a stain on gowns
which 1t is almost impossible TO re-
move
The record-union., 1897-02-28

(P. Ed of Philadelphia. Ito this broad
category belongs every mans way of
living. mode of life may be extrava-
CANT and even dishonest in one man
which is both lawful and becoming in
another; and when the quality of con-
duct depends upon motives, who shall
Judge? The woman who broke a box
of ointment of spikenard, very precious,
on our Savior's feet was condemned
by the bystanders for extravaganza:
and the condemnation was not sus-
tained. Our blessed Lord was always
careful to witnhold His Judgment of
special cases; and in one which was
expressly brought to Him, that divinest
of pastors refused even to give advice,
saying Man, who made ME a judge or
4 divider over your Now. if a clergy
man enters into this domain of diff
Guilty It is clear that he runs no small
risk of error, and the reasons which he
may wisely urge in private upon his
own people assume an entirely different
aspect when they are published in the
press: for then he seems to have put
himself or to have allowed himself to
be placed in the position of a Sumptu-
ary judge and censor of his fellow citi-
Zens; a laudable endeavor to stem a
current of ostentatious extravaganza
assumes the invidious aspect of a
charge of extravaganza and ostentation
against particular persons; he inspires
resentment in the rich, and he seems
TO Justify the envy of the poor. In
other words, what may have been right
and wise as a pastoral counsel may be
neither right nor wise as public pro-
test"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
Columbia Calendar for 1898.

For the thirteenth year the Columbia
pad calendar makes its appearance
promptly on tine for 1898 and while its
general style is Of the same familiar
character, the many bright thoughts it
contains, contributed by it's friends in
MANY parts of the country, as we'll as
abroad, are new, and will be appreciated
by all who take an interest in bicycling,
healthful exercise and good roads.
The 1898 Columbia pad calendar con-
tails convenient arrangement of dates
that will prove useful to busy men, and
as plenty ofspace is reserved for memoir
anda, the pad may be used as diary and
as a reminder for business appointing nts
and obligations 1t is neat in appear ance,
takes up but little room and is both orna-
mental and useful for the desk, while its
stand is Of such character that it may be
used either upon the desk or hung upon
| the wall.
The moons phases are indicated in the
calendar for the benefit Of those who
wish to'have this information. The cal
endar isfready for distribution and al
orders foriit will be filled upon the day
Of receipt 1t can be obtained by mai
prepaid for five two cent stamps by adj
dressing the Calendar department OF the
Pope Manufacturing company, Hartford
/ Conn
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
Washington Letter.
From our Regular Correspondent.

From our Regular Correspondent
WASHINGTON, December 3, 1897
Judge Day, assistant secretary of
state, settled all rumors connecting
his name with the successorship to
Attorney General McKenna, when
that gentleman succeeds Justice Field
upon the bench of the United States
supreme court, by stating that he had
for personal reasons declined the
portfolio of attorney general, which
President Mckinley offered him.
With few exceptions Republican
senators and representatives are OF
the opinion that President McKin-
ley's handling of Cuban matters has
been such as to justify congress in
leaving it entirely in his hands. Many
who were In favor OF the house adopt
ing the joint resolution, adopted by
the senate, at the extra session, de-
claring in favor of the recognition OF
the belligerency of the Cubans, now
express their willingness to leave the
whole business to be dealt wit b by he
president. Representative Cannon
the veteran chairman OF the apprOe
prlations committee, said jocularly O
the situation: 81 don't know what
in the world we shall do for speeches,
now that they have turned all the
Americans free"
Representative Stone, of Pennsyl-
vania, will endeavor to secure action
on the immigration question at this
session of congress. Speaking of the
necessity for such action, he said:
"Pennsylvania is to-day suffering
from a horde of alien laborers who
have poured into cur mining and oil
regions, and have nearly driven ma
tive Americans out, because the latter
cannot compete with the pauperized
foreign element. 1t is q shame and
disgrace, an outrage that congress
should not allow to continue. These
fellows from abroad have a standard
OF living but little, If any, superior to
the Chinese, and their presence is
awakening the same discomfort and
indignation that the presence of the
Asiatics evoked on the Pacific coast
If they are not forbidden landing on
our soil there will be no chance for
our people, engaged in the employ
ments named, to make bare subsist.
ence. | hope to see an act passed
that will exclude them, at least for a
period of ten years"
President Mckinley, Speaker Reed
and all Of the other Republican lead
ers in congress are determined that
nothing shall be done at this session
of congress, that it is in their power
to prevent, that will be likely to dis
turb the business of the country.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
No Room for Doubt.

Proof, yes overwhelming proof can
be furnished of the excellent curative
qualities of DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup.
81 caught cold which led to a'cough
and pain in the chest. (pneumonia?) l
bought DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup, and
after taking one bottle of it, the cough
began to disappear when finished
taking the second bottle [ was cured.
Gustav Thurmaster, 40 Hickory ST.,
Cleveland, o." DR.. Bulls Cough Syrup
costs but Is cents. Take only Bulls
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
PERSONALLY CONDUCTED TOUR
THROUGH MEXICO.

The Northwestern line has arranged
for personally conducted tour through
Mexico, under auspices Of ]. ]. Graf
ton, the well-knoWn excursion manager.
The party will rendezvous at Chicago
and leave there Tuesday morning, Janu
airy %, 1898 in special vestibuied train
of palace sleeping cars, which will be
Their home for the entire trip. All of
the cities and almost every place of in
terest in this wonderful country will be
visited during the tour, which will con-
sumo thirty days, but the tickets will be
limited for return passage to nine
months A more interesting, beneficial
or pleasant winter outing 1t would be
difficult to conceive. Illustrated pam
phlets and full information as to rates etc.
will he furnished on application to tick Ell
agents Chicago & Northwestern rail
wav. 1lW4
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
Resolutions of Coincidence.

At a meeting of the members of the
Redwood Elevator company held
December 4, 1897, the following reso-
buttons were unanimously adopted on
the death of George Thauer:
WHEREAS, The Divine Ruler of the Universe
has, in his infinite wisdom, removed from
among us George Thauer, one of our worthy
and esteemed fellow-members, faithful hus.
band, kind and atfectionate father, warm,
generous-hearted neighbor, respected and
loved by all who knew him.
RESOLVED, That the wisdom and ability which
he has exercised in the aid of our organizat iou
by service and counsel will be kept in grateful
remembrance.
ResOtUed, That the sudden removal of such a
Life from among our midst leaves a vacancy
and a shadow that will be deeply realized by
all the members and friends of the organiza
ton. Hence the bereaved relatives of the de-
ceased have the heartfelt sympathy of all the
members of the corporation.
ReSOLUed, That a copy of these resolutions
be spread upon the records of our organization
a copy printed in the neighboring local papers
and copy forwarded to the bereaved family.
kEREN j. DONOHUE,
W. j. BURKE,
JOHN SCHEBERLEY,
Committee.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08

Sold by Druggists, or sent prepaid on
receipt of price, Csc, or for 81.
DR.. HUMPHREYS HOMEOPATHIC MANUAL
OF DISEASES MAILED FREE.
Humphreys Med. Co., Ill William st., N. z.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
Chicago 81 Northwestern.

Passenger from Chicago arrives at Water
town IL D IN and goes no farther.
1926 M train connects direct with fast
train for La Crosse Wnona, St. Paul and in
termediate points. 9:07 train connects
direct for St. Paul.
Ia except Sunday.
O. G. HEIMERL, gent.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
Is Particular Credit Due!

The organs have told us that the
majority members Of the county
board of 1897 deserve great credit
for making the amount Of this years
county tax smaller than that of last
year. Is this true?
Here is an itemized statement of
the county taxes of 1896 and 1897: