The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-04-03
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But shopping leads from bad to worse
II is an empty boast.
Washington Star.
She-You seem to foroet ,.
sir. He-How could do other a,se,''
your presence?-Judy.
Frlend-I suppose everything Won
write now goes? Authorizes h,t
most OF II comes back.-Harlem Life
Il know now" remarked the voung
man who was sued for breach of nron,,
Use, why they call 1t counting. 'v-Tid-
Bits.
Editor-Your story is fiat. Author
Yes? Editor wish to commitment
you. Most stories we get are rol,ad
up.-Puck.
uncle Simon, what is a phenome-
non phenomenon is a man who
gets so rich that he won't accept pass
ON railroad."-chcago Record
Bubbles-My wife and met nv
accident. Thrown together by chance.
as 1t were. Wheelwoman (eagerlv,-
Did you break the bicycles?- Buffalo
Times.
Il Jared pretty well on Christmas
said the man with the blue coat an
deedY' Eyes; you know I'm a street
car conductor. "-Philadelphla North
American
Mrs. Newlywed lin tears)-You used
to say that you would be glad to die
for me. Mr.. Newlywed-Wel would
now. Mrs. Newlywed-We you may
now.-Judge.
"I'll wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't stay under the water more
than ten minutes at time" "Why?"
Nobody down there to talk to."-Chi-
cago Record
"Pugilism isn't what il used to be-"
mo; the advances made in Implements
of modern warfare have thrown II into
the shade somewhat "-Philadelphia
North American.
Hungry Higgins-All dis here hand
out lacks is finger-bowls Weary Wat
kins-Yes, / t'ink could git away wild
erbout a t'ree-1nger bowl myself.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Representatives. men fell on live troll
ley wires to-day. City Editor-Run 'em
in the current events column. Chorus
of groans from the force.)-Cincinnat
Commercial Tribune.
She-Mr. Fullback never boasts Of his
football exploits, does he? He-No, l
understand that he has nearly killed
half a dozen men, but he never says a
word about it.-Puck.
Called any to-day?" "Only once,
and then / was left out in the cold"
you don't mean it; whereg" Down
at Bagsley's. He held four aces."-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Alethea (blushingly)-Now don't, Mr..
Dusnapl | know little Ferdinand is
watching at the key-hole. Dusnap-
Well let's crafty his curiosity and
then he may go away.-Puck.
81 am sorry to hear that Allwuhl, the
clothing merchant, has failed in busl-
ness" "How did it happen" over
confidence He brought on carload
of ear-muffs Chicago Tribune.
Judge Ito q couple sentenced for fight
hg)-Have you anything to say? Male
Defendant would like to lave my
wife commence her term in prison after
l am released.-German exchange.
She-Do you believe in long engage
ments? He-Well. | think an engage
ment should be long enough to test
mans constancy and to give the girl
time to learn to cook.-Brooklyn Life.
Helm waiting for the interesting
woman of 80 that the novelists talk
about. She-Well, you won't find her
in Vienna. All the women here under
60 are not over 22.-Illustrated Bits.
you know that old gag of telling the
beggar that you are working this side
of the street, ! tried it the other day."
aid it work." mo; he licked me for
getting on his beatr'-Chicago Record
Cholly-It would be queer, doncher-
know. if the Theosophists were right,
and if we came to life again in some
other form. She-Yes, Cholly; some
folks might expect better luck next
time.-Puck.
Mrs. Mulligan-Do yez feel better this
morning. Mrs. O'Toole? Mrs. O'Toole-
do, and then again | don't. Mrs
Mulligan-Thot's bad. fur it's harrud
TO know whether to say I'm sorry or
glad.-Harper's Bazaar.
They must have had cyclone over
at Newriches' last week. "What
makes you think SOP Mr.. Newriches
said they had their monogram blown
into every piece Of glass in the houses
Detroit Free sress.
What kind of goods. ma'amT' asked
the salesman. Il think" replied the
young woman who had just bought
wheel and was about to order her first
riding suit. you may show me some OF
your early fall styles."-Chicago Trib-
une.
All" asked the lady. this rouge
will not-er-rub off?" "Oh, dear, no,
men," said the clerk; 'it is especially
warranted to stand all the kisses of In
vestigation ones feminine friends may
choose to try on it.r-lndianapols Jour
nal.
Nell-Miss Bjones uses French
Phrases in the most peculiar manner.