The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-09-24

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Sketch.
Mr.. Ipstein-Does dot novel end up
sad, or odervise? Mrs. Ipsiein-lt ends
finel Everybody gets rich in der last
chapter.-Puck
Il awoke 10 find the house full OF
lose your head?" NO; held my nose"
Detroit Journal
Arthur. dear. have you spoken with
father about our engagement Il
can't find him anywhere-he owes me
some money."-Ex.
Dibman-Did your watch stop when
you dropped 1t on the foor2 Magley-
OF course " did Did you think II would
go through ?-Th-Bits.
Minor Poet-Ah. how do? Did you
get my book I sent you yesterday?
HosteSs-Deighffuli I couldn't sleep
till I'd read it.-Punch.
He (symparhIzing with his bride. who
has just been stung)-How intelligent
was that bee. my dear. to know that
we're on our honeymoon.-Judy.
Gadzooks-The Greeks might have
saved themselves by a rapid advance.
Zounds-They seemed to think they
could save themselves better by a rapid
retreat.
Teacher (angr1ly)-Why don't you an
swer my question. Bobby? His Brother
Tommy answering for him)-Please.
sir, he's got peppermint in his speech
-Tit-Btts.
Reporter-That fellow who wanted
his name kept out OF the paper called in
to-day. Oh, he was mad, EditOr-What
about? Reporter-It seems we kept It
out.-Tit-Bihs.
How Is this, count they say the
stone in this ring you gave me Is imi-
tationT "Oh. Ike enough. never
was very strong in mineralogy. HUI
moristische Batter.
The Wife, think We ought to have
daughters voice cultivated, John. II It
doesn't cost too much. The Husband
II can't cost too much. my dear, If it
will improve II any.-Puck.
Half the world" sagely observed Mr..
Billus. never knows what the other
half IS doing" That's generally true"
retorted Mrs. Billus. eying him sharp
ly. ''as to the better half."-Chicago
Tribune.
Fuddy-You call money stamps -
don't you? Duddy-Yes. Fuddy-And
money is currency. So l suppose that
+. when you speak OF an elastic currency
you refer to rubber stamps.-Boston
Transcript.
She-How funny that you should be a
Presbyterian. while your wife is an
: Eplscopalianl He-What makes you
think she Is an Episcopalians She
Didn't you say she was a confirmed in
validG-New York Press.
"AIcGibbs Is a contemplate creature. s.
"In what particular wayf" well. he IS
the kind OF man who would send anoth-
err man a Sunday newspaper without
marking the article he wants him %
ead.'-Chicago Times-He
Good Idea.-Nlrs. Tenspot-Isn't II
/ odd that the encores are always much
more enjoyable than the regular num-
bers on the program? Mr.. Tensp0t-
Yes, 1t is. I wonder why they don't
sing the encores first Judge.
A scientist says that every healthy
! boy should be able TO drop of TO sleep
in ten minutes. This does not mean
office boys, who are expected to do the
same thing in one and three-quarters
minutes. Philadelphia Inquirer.
"You want to marry my daughter
= eh?" said the practical man; "we..,
, what provision have you made for the
futureT' "Oh. as 10 that" replied the
sutton, "I'll join the church right away.
4. Philadelphia North American.
3 Squildig-I thought that baseball wa.
not played In England? McSwiIhgen-
: 1t isn't. Squndig what Is this
diamond jubilee they are making suci
extensive preparations for in London
-Phtsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Mrs. Higgins Is still wildly in low
with her husband" Does she put th'
buttons in his shirts for him YETI
'No; but he told her he SAT up all nigh
playing poker without any stakes-ans
she believes him. Detroit Free Press
At the Intelligence Office.-"TIave yol
any cooks that weigh 200 pounds 2
Goodness, What do you want witt
such big oneT' "Well. we would Xix
one that won't be always trying to rid
! my wife's wheel on the sly."-Detroi
Free Press.
\ "You may talk as you like" said
solid citizen, but there was one goO'
thing about the giadiatOrial fights o
, o,den tines what was thatF ''rh
loser never had a chance to talk 10 IN
papers and explain why he lost."-Bos
ton Herald
say" remarked the war editor Sc
DON'T see how Turkey ever got be
forces transported into Greece. d
your Certainly" replied the politics
EDITOR: she got hold OF all the passes
Ask me something hard. "-Cincinnai
Commercial Tribune.
An Interpretations wonder" sal
Mrs. Cumrox thoughtfulIy. what tina
nice. old-fashioned lady means by pu
ting y. =. c. on her card" ''rha
= means she Is going away" replied he
ao,,.-btor s.Oh 500 and she wants II