The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-03-13

saloon, for ! run with you for four years,
you dirty scoundrel
Some of you come up here tanked up
and give me your hand.
Why, If l was running a soap factory
In hell and they was to haul your dirty
carcass there I'd say take il away.
haven't got anything to deodorize 1t.
You talk about Sam Jones using slang
Why, If you was to handle this crowd
you d use slang How could a man han
die such crowd as this and be decent?
l have to adapt myself to the crowd.
Don't 1 preach nice sometimes?"
Why, If you was to give me 5000 angels
to preach to ia be rhetoric itself. I'd be
on my p's and as for one time in my life.
THE Constitution said that Broughton
was hooting in the air. and / said that l
was going TO shoot in the mud.
There are a great many old mud cats
here that ought to be saved.
There isn't a drunkard here tonight
that ! wouldn't put my arms around. I
love them and want them saved.
THE liquor that Is sold now will ruin
man in twelve months.
Il say tonight that the woman who puts
wine or champagne on her table isl
wouldn't impugne her character for any
thing-well, she's a BANKED old idiot
Il expect there are many such women on
the platform tonight I won't say you re
mean-you're just fool.
WV JOh IGpOIl6IS SEt liidA IiSIl1 SdlQ
Mr.. Jones, turning to address the news
paper men, land don't you say that I said
they were mean. She hasn't the capacity
to be mean.
IN wait on you reporters a minute and
let you get that right.
Now, some of you women sit out there
In the crowd and say, IN make my hus-
band whip YOU
We'll, he can't do it. l am not a fight
ing man. and don't want to fight. When
man walks up to me and says he is 60
ing to whip me, l start to arguing with
him. / say, now look here, my friend, If
you lick me and skin up my nose and
bruse up my eyes, when / get up and go
home my wife will begin to snub around
and julie will cry her eyes out, and you
know If was to happen to turn the joke
and lick you, your wife might be crying
around over your sl1int nose
But if l see man is determined to
lick me anyhow, why, 1 try to keep the
flies off him while he's doing it. You
wouldn't be doing a fellow square If you
didn't keep the flies off him while he was
licking you.
II can understand bull-necked, white
aproned saloon keeper dishing out whisky
at 10 cents a drink, but l never could
understand a pure woman dishing out
punch to men.
SISTER, you get your old husband by the
arm Friday night and carry him TO meet
ing instead of the theater You people
here will go to the theater to see any kind
of a show If there ever was a place
where 1t was a fad to go to the theater,
It's Atlanta.
"And some of you women have trotted
your husbands down there too much, al
ready.
Hes graduated now His diplomas a
night key.
And you people sit up on Sunday and
read the Sunday newspapers and say:
Now run along, children, get on out to
Sunday school
why, if the Constitutions printing de-
partment was to break down next Satur-
day night, the next day this town would
be utterly bewildered. You'd go crazy
without your Sunday paper.
why, these merchants tell me that
Monday is the greatest trade day in the
week. What's the cause of it?
ITS the big advertisements in the Sun
day paper.
II set in tonight to preach a nice, soft,
pleasant, sugar-coated sermon. / WIS go
ing to put the medicine in.
Now amt 1 split everything?
Now, l tell you, Sam Jones means as
kindly toward you when he's clubbing you
as any man on earth
Some of you folks will go off and say,
I won't go back to hear sam Jones any
more
wen, SIS i won't miss you.
Really, didn't known you were here
tonight.
'If you go off and rear and cut up about
Sam Jones' preaching and don't come back
any more, why then ten people will come
tomorrow night to find out what you are
rearing about.
People have got curiosity.
81 want you all to take the truth as I've
preached it tonight. I've preached too
long, and I'm afraid too hard for some of
your feelings but it's like 1 said once be-
fore, if you get mad, you can come to me
and apologize right nice, and I'll forgive
you.
"And If any of you old red-nosed topers
will do better, why bleach up your nose
and come up here.
"If you're in a hurry to do something,
then borrow your wifes whitening powder
and paint your nose until it's what you
call a delicate pink, and then come on up
here and I'll talk to you.
II never could talk long to thing be-
hind a red nose"
At the close of the sermon the mourners
were called up, and many hundred peni-
tents came up and gave the ministers their
hand