Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1897-12-18
AnInnOcent Man,

JOnn faffell, are you Wiling 10
stand and swear that you are the author
of the combination-''se nseless jar
gon?"
And do you mean to state also that you
are guilty of fabricating the expires
CONGREGATIONS impertinencies p
Do you affirm that you and only you
inflicted the term, degraded grovel-
ing,' upon the unoffending readers of
the Forum?
And, honor bright now, John-did
you describe the word, "boasting," by
calling it after captain Dalgetty, a
boaster Did you mean to say, for
instance, that the JOURNAL is a boast
ing boaster?
Last, not least, John, if you are
guilty, how in the wide sweep of your
polyglot intellect, did you ever come
to think of "hea''-a parasite, when
in good health, of the ganglonic
order, practically without brains
What led you, I'm this lnstance,' to
distinguish brainltss insect as dis
eased with water on the brain ?"
John, if you have spark of respect
for the dialect of the dfferential
diagnosis. you will crawl from under
the awful burden of linguistic dis
repute which the discovery and de-
velopment of a neutrality-suspicious. flea"
will henceforth crowd you into the
dust.
Maybe, John, if you are guilty, you
got this plea mixed up with that old
school story of the fellow who spelled
"aceph," and defined it as "a louise
without head" If so, John, the
Forum should send for your resigna-
ton.
John, if you can clear yourself of
the authorship of these and other
literary atrocities, 1t will be PLAIN to
everybody that Mr.. Fairchild erred
when he said he had shifted the task
of ''inevitably drubbing' the JOURNAL
to your superior accomplishments.
You are not guilty. John, and you
know it.
In fact, John, You can't plead guilty,
for no man who seriously characterizes
"jargon'' as ''senseleSs'' has ever or
can ever ''drub the JOURNAL.
That feat is everlastingly impossible.
Football
The Frostburg team, averaging 1873
pounds, tackled the Homecoming club,
averaging % pounds more, last Satur
day. and We're outclassed. AS seems
to be inevitable in sporting ethics in
that town, its promises are always
under or overdone. The home boys
did well. however, knowing in ad-
vance they were overweighted not
according to promise.
Later-Since the above paragraph
was set in type the appended remarks
have been contributed
FRosTEURG, Mp, Dec. rs, 1897
To the MINING JOURNAL.
Notwithstand the enthusiast" ofthe Iona
coming Star, who evidently knows very little
of scientific football and speaks regardless of
his ignorance, the game between Frostburg
and Lonaconng last Saturday was very in
terestng and holly contested.
By an universal rule our boys are classed
as "Juniors,' and we made arrangements to
play with the ''Juniors'' of Homecoming
When the team from that town arrived,
however, it proved to be composed Of the
majority Of their '.fra team.'
The game was played Notwithstanding,
and resulted to 0 in favor of Homecoming.
We would now ask that "enthuSiast''-lf
the Frostburg team, composed wholly of
juveniles, wasn't common amusement TO-
the 'Coney boys" when the score resulted 8
to 0-what must Homecoming have been to
Cumberland-an evenly matched team, when
they were defeated by a score of II too?
And in this brutal C') game of football,
Mr.. JOURNAL, no one was hurt.
LONG HAT.