Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-09-02

trying to; for = Hlves me to say that
the thing does ppti fften. go through, not
on my train. I Idoat know of any phe-
nomenon more surprising than the enor-
nous growth strained nowadays by chill
dren OF extremely tender ages. On street
cars and trolley cars, you understand, this
phenomenon acquires the proportions of q
miracle. Children over eight years of age
are required to hfve their fare paid; and it
is mournful JOB of the conductor to de-
termine with hH god eye on children
whose ages hovkr Suspiciousry near this
mark 1t is not necessary, either, for
us to examine children's teeth for this
purpose, for the elephantine young per-
sons which good, motherly ladies often en-
deavor to work OF US as being of SIM
PIE octave IN age, portray on their exter-
lcrs their attainment of double those years,
W1thstanding their careful obedience to
instructions to scroonch down in their
seats and conduct themselves like little
beauteous, babbling infants until the fares
have been collected
Madam" We say, that boy Of yours is
surrey .Gs past eight years of age
boy of yours surely is
Don't 1 Know how old my own boy is
anu SO on, and so on That's the run of it,
but herein. you see, is the one point where
we quite decline to be overborne, and the
iaoy pays the fare of her mastodonic prog
eny OF the glorious age of eight, or be-
comes from the time detached from him
~ 10 only necessary to mildly
~ ~ ea. 1911. When the additional nickel, under
VI course, protest-expressed in a cascade
OF words, is forthcoming
The Adieux That Cause Anger.
How shall 1 speak of the beautiful
young woman who bids long and tender
adleux to all of her Chevy Chase friends,
she standing on the platform step, while
they, clinging to her hands as if 10th in
deed 10 let her go, listen entrancedly to her
long farewells-and all of the trains pas
sengers jeopardizing their eternal salvation
by the deep, dark things they are mutter-
ing! She is beautiful young woman all of
us nave commended with 10! these many
times this waning summer. and she looks
at us, with our hands clutching the bell
rope, as II We were at the smaller end of
lorgnette. until between crashing teeth,
some frute man grinds out All aboard"
"nen ner eyes, scanning him, are as the
eyes of Faustina, and her organdie-draped
frame trembles with wrath. She is a part
OF the great forever, and she giveth
peace and rest.
And does English afford words for the
ur speakable imbecile whose only happiness
IN riding on trolley car consists in reach
ing out his hands, one or the other of them,
and touching all of the posts, like a little
girl on a merry-go-roand gathering in
rings with stick? He doesn't care to
touch the posts when the car is dragging
a.ong on an upgrade. There is no danger
about that He waits until he has a
eHahee W break an arm or tWO-When the
Train is Whizzing down an incline of forty
f1Ve degrees; then his enthusiasm is enor-
nous, and he makes bets with himself that
ne won't miss one on the descent. He is
pad enough, and will get run over and kill
ed by an Ice wagon in time; but he is an
intellectual Colossus to the animate Thing
who enjoys poking his head out of the
WlndoW on the side on which the trolley
posts rear their graceful outlines in sill
houtte against the sapphire Skies This
L ming, possessing the delusion that he has
Drains enough to spare some of them in an
IN pact with one of the posts is only pitia-
Die, and must be watched But it is worth
double wages to watch him. for there is
one OF him on every cruise.
The Worst of ALL
Then there istthe Sleek oleagnous man
with the property fve-dollar BILL He is
the dismallest fakir in this land of woe.
and yet what is, TO be done with him? He
hands you the bill. himself looking off at
the remote horizon so that he cannot per-
ceive your gingerlysreception of it. and
when you hand him back the bill with the
statement that AyouEcannot change it. he
brides like a C0ckney breathing defiance
with Rule Britannia and says That's
your fault, not mine stuffing the property
b!il into his vest pocket. No, he has no
other change. and he's going to ride. too
end he wants you to understand that, Put
him off? He'd like to see the CORPORATION
minion IN the world that could put him off
pubic conveyance after he had extended
MS fare. and so on. He's an unbelfeyably
mean cad; ard yet there's a lot of him
working the dodge successfully every day.
HUN! Get off here? 'Teenth street!'
was dismissed from Harvard for statue
painting receded in the vista