davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
A Whin of Lluia Nj.

In 1.-THE Dungeons of Old Paris" the
author, Tighe Hopkins, says the trans
formation of the chateau Of Vircennes
into dungeon was decided upon by
Louis NI while in q sardonic mood.
HE walked one day in the precincts
Of Vincenncs, wrapped in his thread
bare surtOut edged with rusty fsr, and
plucking at the queer little peaked Cap
with the leaden image of the Virgin
stuck in the band. There was smile
On the sallow and saturnine face.
AT his maiesty's right walked a
thlckset, squab man of scurvy counte-
nance. wearing close fitting doublet
and armed like hangmau. On the
kings left went q snowy person, vul-
gar and mean of face, whose gait was a
ridiculous strut. Louis stopped against
the dungeon and tapped the great wall
with his finger. What's just the thick
ness Of this?' he asked. Six feet in
places, sire; eight in others, answered
the squad man, Tristan, the execution
er. Good said Louis. But the place
looks to me as if it were tumbling.' 1T
might, no doubt, be in better repair,
sire," observed the snowy person, Oil
yer, the barber, but as it is no longer
used
All. but suppose thought of using
it, gossip 'Then. sire, your majesty
would have it repaired
"'To be sure, chuckled the king.
If I were to shut you up there, Oliver,
you could get out, eh?' 4 think so,
sire. But you, gossip. to his hang
man, you'd catch him and have him
back to ms, heinz Trust me, sire,
said Tristan. Then I'll have my dun
geon mended, said Louis. I'm going to
have company here, gossips.' 'Sirer ex.
claimed Oliver. Prisoners so close to
your majesty's own apartments! But
you might hear their groans.' Fla!
They groan, Oliver? The prisoners
groan, do they? But there's no need
why should live in the chateau here.
Hark you both, gossips, I'd like my
guests to groan at their pleasure with.
out the fear of mountaineering theil
king And the king and his hangman
and his barber fell a-laughing"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
A Happy Return.

Many amusing stories nro told con.
nccted with ducling. One has recently
been told in which an English peer and
a politician figured, and we venture &c
repeat it because We think it worth pre-.
serving. The peer, for some offense,
was called out by the politician and
promptly. responded to the challenge.
On arriving at hcme Cgain ur:cr the
duel his lordship gave q guinea to .ths
coachman who had driven him to and
from tho ground. The driver appear.
to have been an exceptionally honest,
simple man. He was surprised by the
largeness Of the sum presented and said
my lord, I only took you to -"
YES, yes; know that. But the guinea
Is for bringing me back, not for taking
me out ] enjoyed the drive home very
much, but not the drive out. That il
what I pay you for. "-Harpcr's Round
Table.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
A Go0d Squirter.

One Of the public drinking places
erected by the Philadelphia Fountain
society is embellished by q rather unique
design in the form of q mans face. II
is rather grotesque in appearance. and
this effect il heightened by the fact that
the water comes gushing forth from the
mouth of the stone figure. Two China.
men, evidently the proprietors of laun-
dries, stopped in front Of the fountain
and seemed deeply interested in it.
They cooked their funny little heads to
one side, gazed ut the spectacle from
every possible point Of view, and after
q moment Of contemplating silence pro-
ceeded to pass critical judgment upon
it. Him squirtec belly good" said
one. "Yes," replied the other. me
likee havee him ali alongee my laun-
dly. "-Philadelphia Record.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
PnrdOned.

Some sentences Of court martial were
presented to the youthful Queen Vic
toria for signature. One was of death
for desertion.
Have You nothing TO say ON behalf
Of this mani" asked the queen.
Nothing, madam. He has deserted
three times" said the official.
Think again. my lord" said the
queen. whereupon the gallant soldier
replied:
He is certainly . very bad soldier,
your majesty. but he may be . good
man for all know TO the contrary"
Thank you. said her majesty and
wrote "Pardoned" on the paper.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
PATENT APPLICATIONS.
The Vast Majority Of Those Sent 70 wash
ingt0n Arc Rejected.

inston Arc Rejected.
The applications for patents filed av-
erage about 1875 q day. There are 30
principal examiners, with perhaps 200
assistants. Every examiner and every
assistant examiner has his own special
ty. Let as take the case. say, of o poor
inventor living in Oregon. He makes q
valuable invention and desires to OBJ
tain q patent. He sends his application
with S15 to the commissioner Of pat
ents. 1t is referred to the examiner hav-
ing charge Of that peculiar class Of in
ventions. II is his duty to reject it il
anything can be found on which to base
q rejection. Nearly 100000 patents
have been granted in the United States,
and probably more than 1000, 900 in
the rest Of the world. II any of these
anticipate the invention, the examiner
must reject the application. It is not
necessary that exactly the same thing
should have existed before, for IL any
thing substantially similar can be found
the applicant must go to the wall. But,
more than this, IL anything similar has
been described in any printed publica-
ton, in any language, anywhere in. the
world, or IL without being patented or
described in print it has been used any
where in the United States, the EXAM
liner should reject. ..
The rub comes all the time upon tho
degree of similarity which will consti.
tute an anticipation of the invention
A tremendous responsibility, it will be
seen, is thus thrown upon the examiner.
He wants to be safe. 1t is both his
pride and his duty not to allow a patent
to go out that ought to have been re-
tected. The consequence is that great
many examiners reject almost every
thing on the first examination. No mat
ter how broadly new the invention may
be, something can always DO found that
il akin to it. The nearest thing that can
be found is used as basis for rejection.
Washington Star.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
Tho Lines of the Hand.

They were ont driving and had come
upon fine stretch of shady country
road.
do you believe in palmistry," he
asked-''the reading of ones fortune
BY the lines in ones hand?'' d. :.
II believe" she said, "that If
could see the lines in only one of your
hands 1 could foretell that we would
have q very pleasant drive"
He Immediately caught on and
grasped the reins with one hand and
the situation with the other. Comic
Outs
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

It is little wonder that foreigners are
in despair in learning to speak the Eng
lish language. One of the greatest diff
culties is the way in which the same
syllable sounds have often very different
meanings.
You'll get run in, said the pedes-
You'll get run into" savagely re.
sponded the cyclist as he knocked the
pedNtrian down and ran up his spine
''Youal get run in, too" said the
policeman as he stepped from behind q
tree and grabbed the wheel.
And just then another scorcher came
along without light, so the policeman
ran in two
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
eARoNIAL PARKS.
The Extent Of Some which eurreunA eAa
Houses of English Noblemsn.


Houses of English Noblensa.
An article in The Cornhill Magazine
on the cost Of maintaining country
houses contains some extremely inter-
esting particulars about the size Of
noblemen's parks. One hardly likes,
the writer, says, to guess the cost Of re.
pairs to the loose stone wall around
Badminton park. high enough to pre-
vent q deer leaping it and inclosing 9S6
deer. At Welbeck there are lO1< miles
Of iron fencing around the three deer
parks. Thoresby park is 10 miles
around.
Though the deer have been removed
or destroyed in no less than 80 parks
since 1867 there are 404 deer parks and
paddocks in England and Wales alone,
and 8 Of these are over 1000 acres.
Savernake 10 4, 600 acres. There are
many over 1000 acres. The area has
an additional interest for the owner.
because the bigger the park the more
gates and lodges and roads it needs,
and park roads. except town roads. are
the dearest in this country.
In parks like Fridge, with $500
acres; Knowsley, 1000 acres; Blen.
helm, 3, 254 acres; Tatton, q, 600 acres,
and others Of less size, the mileage Of
roads, unless their numbers were kent
down, would rival those Of o moderate
parish.
The lowest number by which q great
house and its garden parks and acces.
series can be served and kept up is from
30 to 60 men. OF these great houses
there are not less than 300 in England,
Wales and Scotland. Those of the third
magnitude have q minimum staff of 5(
men. Those Of the second magnitude,
some Of them very large and splendid
houses. almost or quite reaching the
first dimensions, employ from 30 to l5(
or 175 men. Beyond these are the starr
Of the first magnitude, real palaces,
maintaining from 200 to, in one case
not Chatsworth-more than 600 men in
the performance Of work, other than
industrial or agricultural, in the serv.
ice Of the owner.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

The smallest book in the world n q
Konversatioos Lexikop, published in
Berlin and prepared by Daniel Sanders.
The volume occupies the space Of only
six cubic centimeters-0.86 6 cubic inch
although il IL claimed 70 costsin
AS, 900 w0rdA The hook must be read
through . microscope especially pro
pared fog L.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
A Summer Cure.

In q news item in The Sun q doctor
IL quoted as saying that days Austen
ton from food will cure summer COM
plant. Some years ago the writer cured
dysentery of several weeks duration by
taking a few wineglassful doses of the
following formula at half hour intervals
viz, a tablespoonful of table salt and
two Of cider vinegar in o pint of water.
The relief was permanent. The remedy
was recently used by a person suffering
from a customary summer complaint.
and two doses effected q cure of the
complaint.-E. r. D. in New York Sun.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
= FAST COLT.
0ycseae ~ the Youngster's Nans "a
He Richly Deseryed n

- A>sCuAy Apcockvo0
Several men gathered about q horse
near the western market commenting
upon the prominence Of the beasts
ribs and general lankiness. The ami
NAL belonged 10 farmer living near
Ypsilanti, and. 1t was said. never per-
mitted grass to grow under its feet on
the road. The farmer was not pleased
with the remarks and the strong in
ferences that the poor thing had never
realised the sensation Of corn and oats
"What do you call your horse?' was
asked.
Cyclone. ard don't he look it?'' re-
piled the man from the rural districts.
"Cyclonei What q name! He certain
~ looks MS il one had struck him."
THAT'S what happened TO him, my
friend. It was just like this. You re-
member the awful breeze we had out 10
Ypsilanti about three years ago? This
Teller was . sucking colt at the time
and was in the barn with two horses.
The cyclone, regular old hummer. came
along and thrashed the barn OF its legs
and dropped it nigh ON to 100 yards
away. After the twister had raised all
the hob, fences and sheds il could we
went out to look things up. The two
horses were stone dead and the colt
would you believe it?-was nowhere to
be found.
Next day I turned over the hen
coop. which lay in the field half mile
away. Right in that coop and laying
on the door which faced down was the
Il 10 l.. 4.
heard Ms. and we took him out i'm n
hurry. He wasn't scared bit, I tell
you. and was cool rs n cucumber. The
neighbors say they saw the coop goin
through the air and the colt after il.
The little Teller caught the coop and
got. inside Of 1t to save himself, that's
what he did. That's the plain truth,
and IL you don't believe it ask the colt.
Good day, strangers "-Detroit Free
Press
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

But for the English and Scotch half
the villas at the French watering places
would remain unlet till they fell to
pieces. half the shops would be shut and
half the hotels would be bankrupt
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
RECALLED BY rE.EcRAPHER


Afefoee3eo u . Scene In Play SuggoGoD
. sesry.
When ''Secret Service was first pro-
duced in New York, the audiences for
the first week or two included . largo
number Of telegraph operators, attracted
BY the vivid description given Of tho
scene in which Gillette sends the mes
sage and is shot through the hand. In
terest in this part of the play waned
slightly. 20 far as the knights Of the
key were coacerned. when il was found
that the telegraphine. while it sounded
very real to the uninitiated, was nothing
but succession Of meaningless clicks.
Why it was expected that there should
be real telegraphing any more than
there should be real killing On the stage
was explained by an old operator re-
Gently. ''There fingers in the mind of
all the older men in the business" said
he, 1.-THE memory of the telegraphing
scene in Oliver Doud Byron's play,
Across the Continent, in which q gen.
uine operator was substituted for the
actor long enough to tick out q welcome
to any member of the profession who
might be in the audience. It was at
Mrs. John Drew's old Arch Street thea
ter in Philadelphia, about 10 years ago.
Every night the man ON the stage would
spell out: Good evening, boys! If you
are all feeling well, rap out an answer
on the iron support of the seat in front
Of you. All together, now-one, two,
three. GOT
1.-The rest of the audience were be-
wildered by the ticking all over the
house, and it was great fun for the boys
and shrewd move on the part of the
management, for it attracted telegra-
piers in great force. They enjoyed the
puzzled expression Of the people, who
couldn't understand the unanimity OF
the answer from the gallery, orchestra
and lobby. OF course the talk between
the stage and the house was not con-
fined to this salutation. 1t was on all
sorts of topics, usually in the form OF
an interrogation, with a request for g
simultaneous answer. The story hai
been told to the younger men, and
whenever a play is produced in which
a telegraph key figures they like to sec
if the experience will be repeated. -
New York Mail andExppress.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

At the beginning of the present cen.
fury the Bible could be studied by only
one-fifth of the earth 's population. Now
it is translated into languages which
make it accessible to nine-tenths of the
worlds inhabitants.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

Why CONT, "a" tn pass your pights
in scratching. A1d your days in
misery Doan's Ointment brings in.
slant relief and permanently cures
even the worst cas>s OF itching piles.
IL never fails. Tor sale by Marshall
& Fisher.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

Announcement is made, 4" says the
Boston Transcript, "of the engagement
Of Sir John Ainsworth, her majesty's
special commissioner in British east
Africa, to Miss Ina Scott, formerly Of
West Philadelphia Miss Scott is sister
of the late Rev. p. Cameron Scott. who
was director and founder Of the African
Inland mission. She went out to Africa
under the auspices Of the Philadelphia
missionary council little more than o
year ago with her father and mother,
her sister. Miss Margaret, being already
>on the missionary field. Sir John Aims
worth took q deep interest in the work
Of the mission and aided materially in
the foundation Of mission stations. He
formed q close attachment for the ear-
nest young missionary, the Rev. p.
Cameron Scott, who died ON the mis-
sionary field last winter. Sir John and
Lady Ainsworth will probably not re.
main in British east Africa. They are
now at Machaki. but it il expected that
Sir John will return to England at tho
close Of his special governmental mis-
sion in Africa"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

The best Salvs In the world for
Cuts. Bruises. Sores. Ulcers, Salt
Rheum. Fever Sores. letter. Chspped
Hands, Chilblaips. Corns, and all
SKIN EruPtions. and positively cures
faIes. or no poy required. IL IL guar
anteed 20 give perfect satisfsction or
money refunded. Price Is cents per
boz. For sale BY Harris . UilemeyeT.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

Every day symptoms Of digestive
disorders, scid stomach. distress
after eating. burning ct pit Of stom-
ach. dali. heavy feeling-Burdock
Blood BitteSs never fails 20 correct
any troubles Of this sort. For sale
BY Merohsll & Fisher.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

There are moro wrecks in the Baltic
SEA than In any other place in the
world The average il one wreck Q day
throughout the year.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

Teapots are used in China only by
the poor. Among the wealthy it is Gus
tomary to put the tea leaves in each cup
and pour water On them.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
Telephone Nausea.

A st. Louis man has discovered q
new disease which he calls Telephone
nausea" The other day. after serding
q telephone message, his face grew pale,
his lips twitched and he pressed his
hand against the pit Of his stomach.
'Pm deathly sick" he remarked 10
n friend. ''Telephoning does it. Every
time I talk through one of the things
I'm overcome with nausea, which
seems seated right in my stomach.
Sometimes il is an hour or 80 before I
recover"
THAT is just my fix exactly" said
his friend. 81 am made i'll every time
l use the telephone. Sometimes feel as
IL would faint. New York Tribune.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

In making champagne the grapes arc
squeezed six times, each pressure max
ing wine of different quality.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21
MADE MEAM MAN
AJAX TABLETS

JT,sITIvyiy CURE ALL
ServOue iji.sa-es- Ysiilpe
Mrrla9,. fpfvf<-ricy. s'ksS-11e<S.
mr.. s-tr-. caiis-d ~ Airnr ~
dirt frv-s<-s and ffIdiHc1H.
fbssA TtSey quietly 80
sere1y rxtr~ f>pt vifsiils ~
ssd az ysuug. and ~ . nm -
fsudy. fu,1Deg &C nn1fFlnGH.
prrvs-nf insanity and fi~'S<uWn-
Ton y tsssn IN tsne, Ihris 90
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-08-21

-. =. -. M r.; ~ s:nss. ri ia -:
...os end stIl cur. you We ri.e rssssiv- wriisss
90 Sssls.:ss1 sS Sss. b nal. in 80 srs..r
AJAX REMEDY CO., " - - e I 81
~ als b nsck lslasA by Jshs 49,,
- uasuhau D Rlshs. l1WAs.
The morning times., 1897-01-05
A Pilgrim Pleasantly,

1t has been said unkpdly OF our New
England friends that their philanthropy
is q little of the square Of the distance"
order; but that is Calumny. Nevertheless. it
is true that they vigorously object to
something's at home, which. conscientIously
and religiOusly, they would impose upon
folks in other latitudes; but that came
over in the Mayflower with them, and they
are not responsible,
In their recent State campaign. the Re
publicans nominated a colored man for the
high position Of Member of the Executive
Council of the Commonwealth. 1t was in
q district SO safely and VIGOROUSLY Demo
cratic that the nomination, while con-
sidered as a cheap but fitting tribute to
the worthy race represented in the nomi-
nee, was equally looked upon, by the
wealthy and aristrocratic Republicans con-
cerned, as a dry but refreshing specimen
Of Pilgrim humOr. But a political tidal
wave smote that district, and the colored
candidate was elected, TO his own as.
constituent and that OF every other body.
Immediately persuasive means were
adopted to make the new dignilary see the
error OF his way, ana tie adyanta ges of a
The morning times., 1897-01-05
True Kentucky Patriotism.

People who are as brave and patriotic as
the sturdy citizens of Kentucky, ought to
be able to get together, sink past differ
enCes, and once more work in the harmony
that should ever characterize our national
life between elections. Apparently little
Things often produce astonishing results in
tire affairs Of men and States, and a
pathetic incident which recently came to
light. illustrating the depth and grandeur
of Kentucky principles, as well as the
exaltation of her ideals, should do more
10 mend old breaches than the missionary
eloquencc OF many visiting statesmen.
The brotherhood of Kentucky should find
restoration in tears over the sarcophagus
of a noble son Of the commonwealth, who
fullest odor of local sauctity.
The departed was wealthy and an octo-
genarian when he departed. In life he
had been devoted to the somewhat extra
constitutional solace Of "apple jack and
had equally eschewed the Bourbon Of his
fathers. As death approached he became
painfully conscious that this derelictlon
from duty had shortened his life at least
three or four decades. 1t was then too
late to remedy that error, but he demon
strated his repentance in manner that
must ever crown his memory with a halo
He procured sarcophagus OF true Ken
tucky silurian and a barrel of Bourbon Of
ancient vintage. He provided that his
body should be placed in the one, and
then immersed in the other; and so it
was done to him. Well may the historian
OF the future say Of him that, He was
from Cyntmana, Kentucky, sab! and a
puffect gentleman
The morning times., 1897-01-05
The Academy,

when London Sleeps returned to the
Academy of Music last night for its second
week OF the season. Whatever else may
be written of this play, and there is IN uch
that is better unwrttcn, for its expose of
certain phases oflife is shamefully unjusti-
fled, it is melodrama OF high lights.
There are probably more climaxes and
hair-splitting escapes in this play When
London sleeps" than in any one other
piece now before the public.
The curtain raises on climax; just as
you are about to become somewhat inter
ested there is another climax, and when
the curtain falls it is on the biggest climax
of all.
Tile plot is in way a decided novelty,
for nothing so decidedly unique has ever
before been put upon tile stage, and no
toriety will be tie share of the authors, if
for nothing else, then for their audacity.
In spite OF all this the play seemed to
he extremely well relished by a large and
very demonstrative audience, and although
the major part of the applause appeared
to come from up above" the audience
''below'' was vishly affected.
As whole the cast is a good one, al
though some minor parts could be greatly
improved upon. Miss Florence Ashbrooke
as Hilda Carrode. woman with a past,
and a black one at that, easily carries
off first honors, and Harry Bensley as the
light comedian, did m uch toward en-
plot. Edwin Walter, as the heavy villain,
played his part so well as tocvuke numerous
misses on his many appearances at i'm
perfume momen nts, and George c. Murphy
seemed perfectly at home in the part of an
English chappie. The balance of the cast
was only passable.