The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-08-06
HOME OF THE MOSQUITO.
FOUND BE A S1T4NT; OF COURSE
1T rs IN SEW JERSEY.

tended n Meetius AT which n ~IommIttee of
several Million Was Appointed to rake
Charge OF n New ucnch on staten island.
He was a passenger tnr New York on a Cort-
landt street fcrryboat. Probably he did not
weigh moro than 40 pounds. but he was very
tall. His long gray hair hung drooplngly from
beneath the old funeral hat he wore. His linen
buster was besmearcd with mud and blood.
Under his arm he carried q portfolio with, .
faded green cover. When he took or his buck.
skin gloves one hand was soon to be compare.
lively fat. The other hand was thin and bohy,
with fingers like the claws OF a lobster.
When n nowsboy asked him TO buy a paper
nvitG the latest Klondikc gold news, he refused
with scorn.
No. no said solcmnly, the newspapers are
too far behind the era in which we exist. They
are solding experts to Alaska to prospect for
gold dlthy gold, when VIC have more grave
SUBJECTS for Investigation Mt home. ! am n
poor man, but. in the interests OF humanity, I
have devoted my time TO investigating a matter
that should have been inquired into many years
ago by the Government. I have spcnt a life
nnc IN tho work and ] have made Il great dis
coNcTy. | have found tho home of the. mos
quito family"
"Wil you tell us about it!' said The SrN's
mosquito reporter, who was on the boat.
with pleasure, sir" answered the stranger,
u remember ono thliht. IL remained. for tho
great Prof. Won Postina TO make the discovery.
| am he. I have found the place where tho
mosquito kccts. Tho place where Tho culex
family originated; the place where the Pro-
bosc:dcan Division of tho Order OF Diptera
meets; the place where this scGvc; society of
two'v inged insects hold their secret couoinves
at midnight and concuct their vile plotl FOR ah-
noying and destroying mankind. Ncs. sir. I
have discovered and explored the palaces OF tho
five known species OF mosquito ard Of several
kindred species that have move: been discov-
cred before. l have found tho Or!ur of EartrI
Wire Proboscis, the Indepcndcn. Union uf
Circle Sawyers. and the tritot brotherhood OF
Awl Drivers. Look upuu that loft hand. Ibst
va, once thin like this right one, but fed il 10
the enemy ON the field Of battle for numaHity's
future protcction-I fed it to the enemy on The
And the battlefieldi" said the mosquito re-
.oh the battlefield, . said the profc .sor. Tho
battlefield was in Jersey. GA the highway that
seyites call it the road to Arlington Cemetery.
IT. is travelled only by the MolQuito Clans and
driver is u friend Of Death protects him from
tho diptera attacks, But to resume my story.
each Of the the six clans la 'iS : found vi dHH liz at'ackia M
samm. diyid de- into into bSSi ar with a Major /,
whiskers. were in command of each company,
there being 100000 companies in each bat
talon. Then they had bicycle squads as au,-
as puncturing machines. Each one in the horse
brigade ! found armed with a barbed wire pro-
armed with circular SAWS. The Broihurhood Of
Avn Drivers seemed to be in the majority. for
have soft, Elongated boddie1. long leg legs. large arg
i noticed while Investigating that the men,
mo,9uitoes all soaked their heads in the water
were the soldiers who went to war with hu:
manity. On; | forgot to tell you about the Royal
Lancers. They are big fat women mosquitoes.
who have "A sucking proboscis formed OF "A
membraneous sheath inclosing from TWO to six
lancets that could, easily puncture AN iron
bicycle tire. or drill "a hole in a steel railroad
Gets seem to be protected with sheet iron, and
porters and projectors q the %laacets. rio
members Of this order carry knobccd ba!ancers.
or poisers, behind their w%inslets, which thoy
work by daylight, and nre very fond of human
the Weary Wilhes Who happen to SET of the
road to Newark. II is a common thing in this
R%sTily d 1rs1Ipins n country With to an sS old q lin w MasG.
boiler on his head: and y tin tomato cna GOV,
erinG each hand; On such an occasion yoi wi,
hustle home to notify the Sawyers. all OF whom
carry can opener with them. The savers
II must mention the reeimental band
They are not fond Of war, but are big. ]good.na-
tuTtu. ptdtfiIll tIlOHb WIZ SIMPLY III IlSul
flower 10 flower slipping the. cew and sweet
Juices, requiring lite il any food, propagnting
the musicians 30 out at the head Of an army
sent to make war upon some new seaside re-
s somo P back 'f to- Je P 9 'H WSilc i i wa, Fe cxpl oTiss
their territory yesterday ] managed to get ini3
one OF their council meetings. OF couEse
have not learned their language a. yet. but 1
understand n few OF the thing, which they buzz
about. The subject discussed yesterday was a
new beach. The musicians gathered there
were two or three million of thcm-and they
opened the meeting with n dole:ui air. a com.
mittee from Staten Island reported that a new
trolley car line had been established and that a
new. beach, resort had been opened up 70 the
The committee seemed 10 have laid the place
was called Midway Beach, Tor iii 4 minute there
was u great buzz and the musicians ,prefeps
sawed off a chunk Of tune that sounded like
this, LIZ, izz-ezz'cz@-czz'iAz; izh' lA@c2z'izz'czI-
You see continued the professor. tho con-
mittee got the name OF the beach mixed II little.
They probably meant Midland. and not Mid
way. But there was great JOLLY and cheering
and dancing arounl when the committee made
its report. The old Chairman, II big. gray:
1000, 900 sawyers and 3o,OO0.oo0 lancer, 10
take care Of the new beach on staten Island.
reported that business was bad, but that the
various Regiments were doing al! the work they
! could find. The Committee on Hammocks re
ported that summer girls were wearing thicker
clothing than ever tc'orc, anu
to hammock duty. The Chairwuman of the
Bicycle Committee said that business along tha
Jersey roads was p~lcntltlll. as far rs TAI nccke
We're concerned. but she was surry 10 say that
the leather bicycle boot had somewhat inter
fcrcd with the arny'S work.
THE Chair referred the latter portion of tho
re port 10 the Committee on Ways ana Means.
\ petition was received from the HRckensack
Hungry band, asking for food, ii being stated
that there was II famine in Hackcnsack, owing
TO the number of Iostonian, who were siopplnG
there. Then the Press Committee made u
long report complaining 0t an unmeLtionahle
newspaper that was circulating !~ihclluui to
ries to the effect that Jersey boys were q! ing in
Jersey hospitals from lulsGuito bites, IToS
perity was reported from Bergen Beach. Eat!h
Beach, and Canarsic, and the meeting iacni ad'
%iourned. The meeting was held IN the, ditch
beside the Arlington Cemetery road dbo.tS
O'Clock sunday afternoon. When II was over
the numher!osS millions OF InOslnitofs present
roc in the air to 30 of on the'r respective az
signments, and would Won believe IL, the air
darkencd like clouds OF euokc,
We'll, sir resumed The professor, j really
thought Night had made u m!s;nEc and come
over the horizon loo. carly, Cropping 10Y, way
in the darkness, ] had q. eight, with all my
might to get back on the Newark plank road;
The army threw ianCCs INTO me. bored holes all