davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

bushels Of diamonds piled up behind
de stove, an about two bar'ls of pearls
an opals ober by de washstand. [Whis-
pers of "Yuml Yum!"l Dat pusson
owned de awfullest biggest plantation
in de hull souf. He had six millyun
bosses an cattle. He owned TO- banks
an six railroads. He owned all de
jedges an half de lawyers in de state.
If yo' frowed club at his dawg he
could hev yo' sent to prison for life.
[Sighs and groans.1 An wild all dis
power an riches, was dat man happy?
mol He had a sore heel; his stomach
was out Of order; he was gittin' bald
on top Of his head; he woke up in de
night and saw spooks wavin' DER arms
over him, an he said he would give all
he had on airth to be like me. [Applanse
which put out three lamps and upset
the water pail,
mo, my frens," calmly continued the
orator, after slipping little more nut
meg, "riches doan make happiness.
Dey is jest handy when yo' feel like
yo'd like to git measured for fo' new
shirts, or yo' want fried chicken fur
dinner. All de rest is vanity, an suah
to bring trouble. Take de case of
Shindig Watkins, of dis club, at whose
cabin 1 am stoppin' temporarily, free
of charge. He's got rag carpet an
three cane-seat cheers In his parlor.
He's got three dawgs an an ice chest
an a chrome of Napoleon Crossin' de
Alps He's got cucko clock dat cost
him 'leben dollars, an he bought an
ole lounge for two dollars an kivered it
ober wild new stuff an made it with
ten dollars. His wife kin airn dollar
day while he sits on de front steps, an
his chill'um save DER pennies to buy
him terbacker an beer. From Sunday
mawnin' till Saturday night Brudder
Watkins am PERFECTLY happy an con-
tent, an he will lib 30 Vars longer dan
de rich man. [Vociferous applause from
all except Brother Watkins, whose mod
esty is well known.
"To sum up" continued the orator,
as he drew long breath and looked
around with a self-satisfed air, "we
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

wor bon into dis world to find happi-
ness, an not to pile up riches. If had
bar'l O. pearls could 1 eat any mo-
watermillyun dan 1 do now? C'No!"
"No!O If 1 had cart load O. dia-
monds, would de crap o yams an
'possums be any bigger? C'No!"
"No!") If had 16 bosses in de stable,
would it take de chillblains off desc
feet? C'No!" "No!D I'd be richer,
of co'se, but de gas man an de tax man
would cum along wild der bills-Pd hev
to hev bathtub in de house-society
would fo'ce me to war rich clothes and
drink champagne, an most cherry day
I'd git telegraph dat one O. my nevis
had choked to death or dnt one O. my
dawgs had run away. I'd be upset wild
trubble from mornin' till night, an
de fust thing knowed I'd be locked up
along O. crazy folks and imagine l was
a boss or bird. Strive fur happiness
an let riches go, When yo' kin pay so
cents fur watermillyun, a dollar fur
-four and hev sunthin' left fur cod
fish an 'taters, yo' hev got all outer life
dtre is in it, an it amt no use to propo-
gate de perigrinashun any furder. My
frens, de hour is late, an 1 will not
occupy any mo- of yo'r valuable time"
When the speaker retired he was fol-
lowed by round after round of APP
plause, and he must have been highly
pleased with his successful hit. When
silence was restored, Brother Gardner
said:
"Gemlen, hev no doubt dat we hev
all bin made de better fur listenin' to
dat address, an dat it will be wise fur
us to treasure up in our memories de
varus facts brung out by de orator,
but at de same time want to caushun
yo' dat great men am only mortal arter
all. Should de Hon. Recollection John
son want to borry any money of yo',
it will be eminently safe to reply dat
yo' has just Token all yo'r change to
de bank, an dat yo' doan expect to
hev any mo- befo' next week. We will
now go home"
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

ward between the ears o! his horse and
avoided open recognition, l intuitively
felt that he knew me; and, upon reach
ing his side, he said in an undertone-
the first words spoken to me for IS
years. All right, joint lie was fed
eral soldier, confederate, and he
knew it. l was a possible spy (al-
though not one), because / could not
have proved otherwise had been ar
rested and tried by drumhead court
martial, for when an enemy is on re-
treat there is no great deal of investi-
cation made as to whether a suspected
prisoner is spy or not. Anyway, l
fully realized my situation, and shall
ever regard my standardization by my
supposed personal enemy as real act
of truest friendship in life. That man
went on to Kentucky, and was killed
in the battle of Perryville--reported to
have been shot in two by cannon ball.
do not know for certain the particu-
lars of his death, but in acknowledge
ment of his heroism assert that would
cheerfully pay the debt I owe him and
give my right arm could its sacrifice
bring him back to lfe.-Macon (Ga.)
TELEGRAPH,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

on the McMinnville road to see my sis
ter, the wife of Maj. A. M. Rutledge, of
Gen. Folks staff, who was residing on
their plantation, about ten miles from
Decherd.
IL unexpectedly discovered federal
troops at Decherd, but atthe same time
ascertained that Buell. was retreating
in considerable disorder; and, conse-
quently, had little difficulty in avoiding
his pickets in reaching the McMinn-
vile road. After l struck that road
mile or more from the station felt
safe, and was riding along quietly,
thinking of my sister, her children and
the 'old folks at home in Kentucky. |
reckon 1 had travelled about three or
four miles and was where the road was
inclosed by high 'staked and ridered'
rail fence; and, after got well into the
lane as it were, what was my astonish-
ment to see approaching me around
curve in the road a federal wagon
train escorted by n detachment of
United States cavalry.
II Immediately looked for chance and
means of escape, but the fences being
entirely too high to attempt to jump
either, it was not possible to reach the
foothills Of the Cumberland range, and
my alternatives were to turn and run
or meet the military detachment boldly.
l had no sooner decided to adopt the lat
ter plan than thought of the Ken
lucky gray hunting shirt was wear
ing at the time used in some degree
by confederates, and, having an old
black citizens overcoat behind my sad
die, l, with one hand and without turn
ing unbuckled the straps that heidi the
coat, and, pulling it up, buttoned it
across my breast so that it hung loose
ly over my shoulders, concealing the
uniform and hiding the leather pistol
holsters strapped tony waist, and at the
same time held my bride hand over
the bright buckle of my confederate
belt. When 1 got near enough to rec
ognize the features of the soldiers whom
l was meeting in the road, the first man
in the front of the vanguard that was
approaching me was the self-same
enemy of my youth, Fayette Green,
and to whom had neither spoken nor
he to me for Is years. Immediately
felt the possibility of being considered
spy, because of concealing the gray
uniform with a citizens overcoat, and
I would not have given the snap of my
finger for my life; but, while imagining
that would in few minutes grace one
of the trees near by, l determined that
if had to go to the bar of justice that
day would send my enemy to the other
world before went, and l undoubted-
ly showed the fire I felt within. met
and never took my eye off my supposed
enemy, but when rode up along by
him, although he looked straight for
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
AGRICULTURAL NOTES.

Artichokes are cut in pieces and
planted like potatoes.
1t does not cost much for lath to bat
ten the cracks of the stable.
Apples and vegetables lose in weight,
when stored, if not kept in cold storage.
While looking around for new crop,
try cultivating confidence" 1t is
very short crop at present.
Cob meal furnishes very desirable
bulk, but has not much nutriment in it,
we would say to an inquirer.
Manitoba produced 40,OOO,OOO bushels
of grain this year and only one-tenth Of
the land is under cultivation.
Corn fodder, to be valuable as shred
ded fodder, must not be too dry or too
moist. 1t requires good deal of care
to have it valuable.
Pardon us for suggesting again that
board walks about the premises are a
great convenience when the spring
thaw commences.
You remember what time you had
last spring because the hens roasted on
the machinery last winter, Don't re-
peat the experience next spring.
Now comes a man and says that on a
large farm it is cheaper to buy new ma
chinery than to house old. The manu-
facturers ought to vote that man
medal.
Wallace says that the most indie
pendent man in the world is the farmer,
for all he has to buy is coffee, tea, spices
and tobacco. In fact he can grow his
tobacco, and get along without tea and
coffee, and so all he needs is Spices
Western Plowman.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

Uranium of Judge Cantelope White,
"does riches make happiness or does
she not? At de fust go-ofr, it would
appear dat she did. When we see
rich man ridin' by in his kerridge, his
arms folded, his head up high, an his
black bosses prancin' along as proud
as peacocls, we am apt to envy him
an' wish we was in his place, We see
only outside appearances. If we could
foller dat pusson to his home of lux
Ury we should take a different view of
de case. De mint he gifts into de house
his wife wants fo'teen thousand dollars
fur new dresses; de chillun cry fur him
to buy an elephant; de cook has broke
10 plates while washin' de dishes, an
de gas bill is ober seven dollars mo- dan
it was do month befo'. De proud smile
On dat rich mans face fees away an he
goes out behind de ban an kicks his
self an wishes he had nebber bin bon.
(Cheers, shouts and wild applause.)
"You go into rich mans house"
continued the orator, "an' yo' see lace
curtains, kivered chairs, fine carpets
an heaps o. brick-a-bats. Some of 'em
has got as many as five beds upstairs.
an il you go down cellar yo'll find a
hull barl O. pork and 16 bushels of
Eaters. Nmflin seems wantin' to COM
plete dat mans happiness, but dat's
all on de outside. He may be sittin'
around on dem fine carpets or lookin'
at hisself in one of dem loollin'-glasses,
which neber costs less dan nine dol
lars, when he gifts telegraph. He
opens it to find dat somebody has
robbed de grave of his gran'fadder out
in Chicago, and demands one millyun
dollars to restore de body Applause
so vigorous that two legs fall out of the
stove and a serious calamity was mar
rowly averted,
81 war in de private offs of mill
yunaire de 0dder day He was cuttin'
de coupons off his bloated bonds. Oar
war II bags of gold on his right hand
an 10 bar'ls of silver on his left. TSup-
pressed excitement.l OAR war fo
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
downright. 1871

copyright, 1871
A FTER the meeting had been regu-
~ Iarly opened, Brother Gardner an
nounccd that the regular routine of
business would be suspended in order
TO listen to an address by Hon. Recol-
lection johnson, of Goldsboro N. c..
who had arrived in New York two days
previously The title of the address
was given as, "Does Riches Make Hap
piness|
"Befo' dis pusson, who am now. in
de anty-room, is let into de hall, want
TO say few words" observed the presi-
dent. ain de fust place, / want Elder
Toots and ledge Cadaver to keep awake
doorin' de lecture. It's an insult to
man to 20 to sleep and snore while he
am tallln'. In de next place, If Shindig
Watkins frows dat cucumber which he
has got in his pocket at Samuel Shin,
/ shall be looliin' right at him, and be-
fo' dc meetin' closes his fucher life will
lie made wretched. Kurnel Cnbiff an
Jcdge Chewso had better git as far
from each oddcr as possible, an shall
depend upon Giveadam Jones to keep
his eye on Uncle Bradley an de ole man
Taylor. De honorable gem'lan will now
be brung in"
The man from the 'Tar-IIeer' state
created a favorable impression at first
glance. He was the beau-ideal of an
orator-three stories high, loose in the
knce joints and wild expression to
his eyes. AS he took his place on the
platform, it was noticed that he toed
out and covered great deal of space
with his feet, and this was also taken
as further favorable sign of his in
tcllectual greatness. There was no
sign of nervousness in, his actions, and
il was clearly evident that he was in
the habit of addressing large and criti-
cal audiences. He poured out glass
of water, carefully scraped nutmeg
into it, and, after removing his coat,
necktie and collar, he advanced to the
front of the platform and began;
"My frens," he said, as he locked his
fingers together and then looked be-
nignly down upon the shiny bald
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
POULTRY PARASITES.
Keep Them Down by Giving Reliable
Tonic to Your Fowls.


Tonic to Your Fowls.
1t may surprise the general reader to
know that four different species of tape
worm attack chickens, four other kinds
attack geese, seven attack ducks, and five
attack pigeons, The remedy for tape
worms is one teaspoonful of absinthe to
81 fowls, mixed in warm bran mash,
ouce a day for three or four days. Clean
up and sprinkle premises with four
fluid ounces sulphuric acid mixed in one
gallon of water For other intestinal
worms, give one teaspoonful of turpen-
tine to 25 birds, mixed in bran mash.
For cape worms, move all well fowls
to new quarters, kill all sick ones and
thoroughly boil them, chop fine and
feed to the laying hens. Disinfect the
old quarters-yards, runs and houses
by sprinkling thoroughly with the
dilute sulphuric acid. Feed turpentine
and asafoetida in soft food of the fowls
for a few days. The remedies and pre-
ventives for mites, lice and feas are
generally understood. Cleanliness and
the dust bath are the best preventives.
Whitewash, kerosene, etc, applied to
roosts, floor, nest boxes, etc, at fire.
quent intervals, are also efficient. A lit
tie copperas, hyposulphite of soda, and
half teaspoonful of nuxvomica in the
drinking water of dozen fowls once
week is a good tonic and preventive
OF internal parasites.-Rural World.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
COUNTING THE COST.
Why Farmers should Keep nn Ac-
count of Their Operations.

count of Their Operations.
1t has always been our rule to keep an
account with every crop grown on the
farm. In doing this we charge the crop
with the rent and the work put upon it
in preparing the land ready for the seed,
the value Of the seed, the labor of seed
ing or planting, the labor of cultiyating,
IL cultivation is necessary, and the work
of harvesting. This makes the cost Of
the crop. The difference between what
it cost to get ready for market, and its
value when ready, shows the profit Or
loss of growing. In doing this, prices
will vary greatly in different localities.
Land here will usually rent for two dol
lars per acre cash, when cash rent is
paid, and we charge this amount as rent
against crop. OF course, this will be
more in some localities and may be less
in others; but it always seems fair to
charge the price current in the neigh
borhood where the crop is raised. The
same with the labor; prices paid for
farm work, with and without teams,
should rule in counting the cost of grow
ing a crop. This, too, will vary consid-
erably in different localities. The prices
of harvesting, as well of seed, will also
vary. Then there will be difference in
different situations as to the value or
price when ready for market. Local
conditions often affect the market in
different places, and the price in the
neighborhood should be made the basis
in determining the value of crop when
ready to sell, so that the cost OF growing
and marketing will vary considerably.
Then, too, the machinery used will make
some difference in the cost so far as the
expense of labor is concerned. The yield
secured will, of course, vary the cost per
hushel. The expense of securing yield
of GO bushels of corn per acre on ten
acres of land is very little if any more
than the cost of 20 bushels per acre.
III it costs four dollars per acre to rent,
plant, cultivate and harvest ten acres OF
corn and the yield is 200 bushels, the
&C IN has cost 90 cents per bushel; but
if the yield is 600 bushels the cost per
bushel is but 6A cents. But we have
always found that larger yield cost
more in proportion than small yield,
as better work is necessary all through,
while the cost of harvesting is greater;
but at the same time the larger yield
pays much the best for cost of profit.
A yield of 200 bushels of corn will often
hardly pay the cost of growing, while
40 or so bushels will return good
profit There is so much variation in
different localities as to the price OF
land, the cost of labor and other things
that go to make up the expense of grow
ing a crop, that the only plan of posi-
lively knowing what a crop costs is to
keep an account.-N. j. Shepherd, in
Journal of Agriculture.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
HenIthfuI surroundings.

To insure the giving of good milk
the COWS must be in comfortable quar-
tiers, and in the best of health. An
abundance of pure water at least twice
o day, feed that is good, and free from
dirt, decay, or a musty condition. The
atmosphere of the stable should be pure
and free from dust when milking is
being done, that is the throwing dowA
of hay or other food from the loft, and
stirring up the bedding, ETC., should
all be postponed until after the milking
is finished. The cows should at all
times stand on dry, clean litter, and
not dirty stuff.-Farmers' Review.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
WAR "REMINISCENCES.
"ALL RIGHT, JOINT"
How n MngnnnimOus Enemy Saved
Gen. UnderwOOd'B Life.

How "A MngnnnimOus Enemy Saved
Gen. UnderwOOd's Life.
The following very interesting war
Renaissance has been frequently re-
cited by Gen. John c. Underwood, Of
Kentucky, at present the superintend-
ent and secretary Of the Confederate
Memorial association, with headquar-
tiers in Nashville, Tenn. AS near as |
can recollect his statements were about
as follows:
"When "A boy in my teens, like
most others of all periods, l dearly
loved circus; and, as my father
owned the show lot in n southern Ken
lucky town, his children always had
the coveted tickets whenever circus
or menagerie visited the place. After
such visitations the show fever was
rampant with all the boys, and, upon
one occasion eliminated in the organi-
cation OF circus, with myself as ring
master and Jim Burnam, now dis
tinguished lawyer and orator residing
at Fayetteville, Tenn, as clown, the
other boys of our set filing various po-
sitions. During one OF our memorable
performances in Mrs. Dunovan's old
blacksmith shop, at Bowling Green,
Ky, some one informed me that boys
were, crawling in under the weather
boarding, which had been knocked off
by the billy goats in their attempt to
find cover Running to the place of
disturbance l found several boys trying
to work their way into the show as
stated, and the result Of my interior
ence was desperate fight with Fayette
Green, which resulted in drawn bat
tie, for, after wearing ourselves out in
an hours encounter we were separated
and the show broken up for that day.
As O result from such fistic encounter
neither Green nor myself spoke there
after. 1 went to college and he was ed
ucated in the schools at home, but dur
ing vacations the one who saw the
other first generally passed on the OPP
posite side of the street.-the contest
was too near equal to be renewed,
"The civil war of the COS found Green
an advocate of the union, and Iespoused
the cause of the south; and we accord
ingly became attached to the opposing
forces-so much as foundation for
war story.
"Passingto period when Gen. Buell.
was retreating from Tennessee to in
tercept Gen, Bragg in Kentucky, the
summer of 1862, l crossed the Cumber-
land mountain and went via Decherd,
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
END, WITH HOTBED FRAME
FOR DUSTING

cemented. The walls are lined with tar
paper which is painted every spring
with asphaltum. Once a week take a
broom and scrub the walls and roosts
with water to which little kerosene
has been added, Since l began using
this house my fowls have not been
troubled with sickness or lice.-W. IL.
Kraft, in Orange Judd Farmer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

If all poultry houses were lathed and
plastered with two coats of mortar, the
lice problem would be solved, and the
cold drafts in winter shut off. To de-
stroy lice it will only be necessary, once
Il week, to burn enough sulphur in the
poultry house to fill it with dense
fumes, keeping it shut for an hour, and
the work is done. When the house is
not lathed and plustered it is not close
enough, and too much fresh air comes
in while the sulphur is burning. White
washing will also be easier on plas-
tered wall, and the hens much more
comfortable and profitable. -
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
IIncoln,s Envorite Omccrs.

"He who does something at the head of
one regiment will eclipse him who does
nothing at the head of hundred" So
wrote Abraham Lincoln to Gen.
Hunter, in a letter said to be
published now for the first time.
Lincoln's favorite officers were the
men who did things. In what
he said to Hunter how succinctly he
puts the general truth that it is the
use and not the mere possession of OPP
portunity that determines the value OF
service!-Youth's Companion. ~
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
CELLAR WALL, WITH WINDOWS
ALONG THE TOP.

ton board, leaving a space of six inches.
Close this by mailing on perpendicular
strips. Make feed trough and place
in the hall before these strips. The
chickens can get at the feed through
the grating and are prevented from soil
ing their food.
A cellar under the house keeps the
floor dry and is fine place in which to
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09

above the chicken room holds the
poultry feed and assists in keeping the
house warm in winter and cool in sum-
mer. Ventilator shafts run from the
cellar, the coop and the loft, terminal
ing in the cupola at the top. The win
dows are provided with shutters which
can be closed at night The floor is
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
AGRICULTURAL HINTS
WARM POULTRY HOUSE.

A Structure That IL at Once Com
venient and Easy to Build.
My poultry house is 10 feet long, 10
feet wide and feet high from floor to
caves. The interior is divided into two
parts, one 1Ox12 for the fowls and one
4X1O for hall and feedway. The parti-
ton is made of boards put on crosswise
to within IS inches Of the floor, A ~
inch board is hinged to the last parti-
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
PARTITION AND FEEDING TROUGH

A, Hinged Board; B, Spaces Through
Which Chickens Get the Feed C, Feed
Trough.
give grain feed mixed with chaff or cut
straw. There is window along the top
of the east wall to light the cellar. On
south end is the dust and scratch room,
inclosed with hotbed frames, Here the
fowls can take their dust bath during
all kinds of weather. This find most
satisfactory in cold times. The loft
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
ECONOMICAL sMoKEHoUsE.

eight or ten feet from the box, pref
erably below it on a hillside. To con-
duct the smoke from the stove to the
house, lay an old stove pipe (c) under
ground or use siX-inch tile. The stove
must open on top. S. Wilson, in Or
ange Judd Farmer.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-12-09
CHEAP SMOKEHoUsE.

Meat Can BE Hung.
A cheap smokehouse can be made
from an organ box GAY or anything in
which the meat can be hung. Set an
ole heating stove (b) in the ground