The Winslow mail., 1897-07-31
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Matthew Arnold that Walrond was a
good man. "Ah," returned Arnold. 1--WE
were all so good at Rugby" 'Yes," re-
torted Sellar, "but he kept it up"
DR.. Elisha Kane, the Arctic explorer,
on being asked what he thought of a
certain after-dinner speech, replied
that it was like an Arctic sunset.
Nv hat do you mean by that?" asked
his friend. 1T was bright and inter-
estlng, replied the doctor, ''but provok-
ingly long in operation"
When Sir Walter Scott repeated
"Hohenlinden" to Leyden, the latter
commented: Dash it, man, tell the fell
low that hate him, but, dash him, he
has written the finest verses that have
been published these fifty years." Sir
Walter faithfully carried out his er-
rand, and had for answer: ''TelI Ley
den that l detest him, but 1 know the
value of his critical appreciation"
AS performer Brahms, the late mu-
slcian, had an extremely hard touch.
This once led musician, who was ac-
companying him on the cello, to ex-
claim, Il can't hear myself" "Ah,"
replied Brahms, blandly, you are a
lucky fellow" When he left the room,
after a lively evening with his friends,
he used to remark: ''If there is any one
present whose feelings l have not hurt,
l trust he will receive my humble apol-
ogy."
A stenographer once proposed to
Henry Ward Beecher that he be allow
ed extra pay for reporting Mr.. Beech
er's sermons, in consideration of cor
recting the errors in grammar. "How
many errors" asked the great preacher,
"did you find in this discourse of
mine?" There were two hundred and
sixteen" was the reply. young man"
said Mr.. Beecher, solemnly, when the
English language gets in my way, it
doesn't stand half chance"
Sidney Smith said of the great DR..
Whewell, master Of Trinity College,
that science was his forte and omnis-
cience his foible." On one occasion.
two fellows of the college, thinking to
get beyond his range, read up the SUBJ
ject of Chinese metaphysics and then
disputed about it in the doctors pres
ence. He listened in silence for time,
and then observed: "Ah 1 see you have
been reading a paper which 1 wrote
for an encyclopedia of science"
When Squire Balkcom called the
court to order this morning in the spa
cious umbrage of the trees that shadow
his yard (says the Jones County (Ga.)
NeWs) he noticed dusky son of Ham
and his wife standing among the spec
tatOrs with an anxious look upon their
faces. what can 1 do for you?" asked
his honor. Else come to get you to
'vorce Us, jedge" Don't you know that
such an act is beyond the pale of this
cOurt?" Eyes, sab, shore; she 'tacted
me wild he pail, an hit waz full Of
watah and busted hit over NAH head,
and l amt gwine lib wild her no moh-
she shore did, jedge." Il say, you
woolly-headed imp of Ethiopia, don't
you know that the Constitution of the
United States, embodied in it's laws,
denies to a justice court the power of
annulling the marital VOWS; that it be-
longs to higher tribunal? Is that any
plainer?" Yes sab, boss, she shore
did null my constitution: why"
ooh, go to Gehenna. 1 say 1 can't
and won't separate you. Do you under
stand now?" Say, jedge, Use go de
money to pay you, boss, for Gods
saL<a-" "HOw much have Won oot 2"
asked his honor. six dollars and a
half, boss" ''Then fine you one dol
lar and fifty cents for taking up the
time of the court and five dollars for
attempting to sully it's judicial ermine
by a bribe.'