davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
IN CAP AND BELLS.
Without Tack the uunoroux Woman Makes More Enemies Than Friends.

Without Tack the Humoroms Woman
 Makes More Enemies Than Friends.
 The funny woman per se is q pesti- lenee in the land Carelessly and roguishly she seeks only to make the world laugh, sends her merry shot and shells here and there, and takes no note of the wounded in the field. It is she who holds up our weaknesses to ridi- cule, reveals our secret ambitions, and makes puns upon our most solemn eb- servations.
 Now, as blessed as humor is and as healthy as laughter is, there are some things in the universe which are not funny. But it seems that there is noth- ing good enough or sacred enough to escape the confirmed joker. Often it is mere tiippancy wearing the genial guise of true humor, and for the accom- plishment of a pitiful pun the highest and purest themes are dragged down and turned to laughter and contempt"
 The funny woman, in spite of her brilliant conversational qualities, is rarely a social success. Unbridled wit and tact are inimieal. The wag who is bursting with a mot will hardly ever repress it just to preserve harmony. Now, when one wants dinner party to go off pleasantly and smoothly one does not feel safe in inviting a guest who may, in moment of eXuberant fun, create one of those awful pauses" so dreaded in society, or innocently en- rage some eminent parsonage by tell ing "home shot," Genius for humor is like any other sort of genius-you must take it as you find it, and it is a very diff cult thing to confine in a straight jacket of conventionality.
 The funny woman is not usually a winner in the game of hearts, though she may succeed in affording her men friends excellent entertainment. The ideal girl-that paragon of mans fancy is not usually she who is prone to puns and who is likely to find a funny spot in the most sentimental situation. Men may admire quickness of wit in the abstract, but they are not so apt to fall in love with girl who is always mak- ing smart speeches." They are as disagreeably startled by sharp wit on the lips of pretty girl as though they had found pepper in their ice cream.
 Dear, funny woman, we would not laugh always, nor live perpetually in a shower of mental fireworks. Ever and again we pine to commune with the earnest, grave and jolxeless friend with whom we may discuss some profound and solemn theme without being met by fusillade of feeble puns and witti- cisms. We know you are very funny, but ones face aches with continual smiling, and an exclusively funny diet is about as sustaining as a ration oi mere pepper and salt. Truly there is time to laugh, but it is not all the time Carrie E. Garrett, in Woman's Home l Companion
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
SHIP CANAL RECEIPTS.
Few Ditches Remunerative Until Years After They Are Completed.

Few bitches Remunerative Until
 Years After They Are Completed.
 There seems to be a curious similarity in the early history of ship canals. Esti- mates not merely of the cost of their construction, but of their revenue, seems always to be erroneous. None of the three European waterways which have been opened within the last four years has yet fulfilled the expectations of it's promoters. It is sometimes said that the Manchester ship canal cannot hope for success such as has come to the Suez canal, because the one is, as it were, blind alley and the other thor oughfare, but the present position of the North sea and Baltic canal and of the Corinth canal does not bear out the theory that waterway connecting two seas is more likely to attract shipping than one which gives access to a great manufacturing center. The North sea canal was used last year by 2,000,o00 tons of shipping-aGbout one-third of the official estimate, while the receipts were only about one-fourth. The ton mage was slightly less than that carried on the Manchester canal and the revenue of the latter was nearly four times as large. The Corinth canal, of course, is a much smaller affair, both in size and cost. But it, too, is struggling with financial difficulties, increasing it's cap ital account and piling up arrears of unpaid interest. Last year it did lit tie better and, on actual working, earned profit of e2.872. Greece and Germany may, however, console them selves by remembering the small be- ginnings of the Suez canal, which had been open for five years before it at traeted an annual tonnage of 100000 and was condemned as a failure when the British government became share holder.-Manchester (Eng) Guardian.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
HUNTING TROPlC BIRDS.
A Perilous Climb for a Nest on a
 Caribbean Island
The Venturesome Lad Brought Down Both Egg and It's Owner for the NaturaIist-Rab@
 it's of the Birds.
[copvright 1897 l

l found my first tropic birds nest in. the island of Saint Eustatius, one of the volcanic Antilles, in the Caribbean. sea. My assistant, without whofh r should have been unable to locate Che nest. was Alexander, a small. brown boy, with curly hair and glossy skin. The customs officer of the sleepy little town of Orange, the old Dutch port of Saint Eustatius, took me down the shore in his boat, while Alexander ran along the beach, preferring the run to a ride.
 As great cliffs thrust themselves across the sands into the sea at inter- vals, the boy frequently had to swim and wade; but he took off his clothes they were not very troublesome, con- sisting only of ragged shirt and trousers-tied them in a bundle on his head, and then .sprinted" along the beach, over the great rocks and under the lodges, beating the rowers out of time. When we reached the headland known as sFumble-down Dick" how ever, Alexander was glad enough to swim out to the boat and be taken in; for the cliffs here were perpendicular. even hollowed out into immense caves, and the sea ragged at their feet like thousand demons. In the bay beyond we were landed, after much difficulty, all of us getting wet feet and being roughly handled by the waves. The boat was sent out into smooth water, beyond the breakers. and we hid our selves and awaited the coming of the tropic birds.
 These birds, the customs official told
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
He Raised the Wind.

The ship had lain becalmed in a tropical sea for three days. Not breath of air the limp sails that hung from the yards like drapery carved in stoae. The captain re- solved to wait no longer. He piped up all hands on deck, and requested the passengers to also come forward 'I must ask all of you,o he said, "to give me every match you have" Wonderingly the passengers and ranged the matches in his hand as each man handed him his store, until all had been col lected. Then he threw them all overheard but one, drew a cigar from his pocket, and, striking the solitary match on the mainmast, endeayored to light it. In an instant fu- rious gale swept over the deck, extinguished the match, and filled the sails, and the good her course-Philadelph Inquirer.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

iety until al last he appeared. lone
 way up. clinging to the rock like g
 iimpet, holding his old hat. containino
 an egg, in his teeth. and a struo,,j7nv
 biting "trophic" of full growth in one
 hand.
 u was no easy matter for the young. sier to descend that steep and siipperv Preelpiee, keeping his grip on that
 hereely-fighting bird, and trembled Tor his safety until he joined us at our sneIler near the waves. But at last he reached us, tired and trembling, but taking nc great credit to himself for what a northern boy would have thought mighty feat and talked over for q week.
 It was now time for the old birds to come ln from their sea trips, so I wait ed' gun in hand, for their appearance. Soon we saw them at a distance. look ing like great swallows, with their pointed wings and shapely forms. They arrive at a point in air far overhead, and seem to be seeking out their re- speetive dwelling places, spending much time in apparent wrangling and discus sion.
 They so foolish" said Alexander. "dey dom know dey own nes';" which appeared to be the case, as they made many attempts before finally settling down for good and all. It is not to be wondered at, this confusion of the birds as to the identity of their nests, when the general sameness of the cliffs is taken into account. As I have already remarked, the perfect symmetry of the bird, when floating in midair, deceives one as to it's real size; and this was the cause of my many misses when I tried to shoot them, poised so far above me or swiftly darting through the sky It has a really robust body, when viewed near at hand; but, from the tip of its sharp beak, to the end of it's pointed tail (with it's two straw-like feathers, 20 inches long, floating gracefully behind), all is symmetry and grace. No one would think that the distance from tip to tip of outstretched wings was quite three feet, nor that the bird was bigger-seen
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
The Cominu MuR

Muffs come in the exaggerated sizes this year, but the most popular huff will be of medium size. It will have plenty of room for the hands, and room for circulation of air, but it is not gi- gantic. Very large mutfs require a cer- tain style in the woman and the gowns to which they form an accompaniment, or they are huge, ugly monstrositites. Many muffs in fancy shapes will be used. They require good clothes to carry them off; they are not pretty with plain gowns, for plain use. The green velvet wrap previously mentioned, had, In addition to the hat, a pretty little fancy huff of the velvet to go with it. IN. Y. Times.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Hoxy to Make Tea.

More than half the Tea consumed in the United States and Canada is of Japanese growth, yet, the majority of Americans ap- parently do not understand how to prepare Ii so as to develop the delicious qualities which it contains. The Japanese Govern ment has appropriated large fund to aid the Japanese Tea growers and Tea mer- chants Tn prosecuting this educational work. and it is hoped that American ladies will be apt students. The main Bureau of the Japanese Tea Guild has issued an official recipe for making Japanese Tea, the transla- ton of which Is as follows:
 First.-Use small, dry and thoroughly clean porcelain teapot.
 Second.-Put in one teaspoonful of tes leaves for each cup of tea desired.
 Third.-When using Japanese teas, pour on the required quantity of fresh boiled wa- ter, and let stand with closed lid from 2 to 3 minutes. Never boil the leaves In order to retain the natural flavor, Japanese tea leaves should be kept in tight can or jar, free from moisture.
 Note.-To thoroughly enjoy the natural, delicate and sweet flavor of Japanese Teas, neither sugar nor cream should be used.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

me, prognosticate the coming of the hurricanes, always leaving the islands immediately before the arrival of these terrible storms and staying away until they are over. Where they go, no one knows; but when they return the peo- pie breathe freely again, knowing that there will be no more hurricanes that season. Sometimes they do not all re- turn, and then the islanders believe that they have been lost at sea.
 They make their rude nests in holes and on shelves of the cliffs, we'll out of reach of ordinary observers; and here each pair rears single young one' lay ing but one egg in nest. The male and female birds take turns in brood ing over this solitary egg, and one is always found within the hole. After sitting there all night, one of them goes out to sea at daylight to fish and play on the waves, returning at about nine o'clock to relieve the other, which immediately flies away, coming back about the middle of the afternoon. These birds cannot fly from fiat sur face, but have to launch themselves at once into the air from an elevation, such as a rock or precipiee. So, when caught, they can safely be left on the level sands, as they are wholly unable to fly, though they will hitch them selves along very rapidly with their peaks; and they show savage fight and cry out harshly if disturbed.
 We climbed cautiously along the face of the cliffs, which lowered above our heads a thousand feet and more; and little Alexander. who had resumed his 4attered wardrobe. clambered light above us. in pursuit of the young birds. rlinoipg to the almost perpendicular wall by his toes and fingers, he worked his way to places l should have con s;dered absolutely inaccessible, know .ao that in those spots the trophies 1as he called them) would be sure to S',ild Not only were the rocks pre- aarious to climb, but against their sides
 na set clumps of the cruel prickly- aar ~s inc spines of which infiet bad parnds even if the hands and feet of y1:aaber are protected by gloves and saa+s How the boy escaped these do not know; but he evaded all dlfiicul- 4os ny and at last shouted to us that he 'a siea' fannd nest. We waited in anx-
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
An Oriental Table Cloth.

Cut a 36-inch square from an old fashioned broche shawl. The wrong side of the shawl will be the right side of your table cover. Line the square with cashmere and crochet around the adge chain consisting of four single
 crochet, thread over and fasten, then four more singles. Repeat entirely around the square, and into each di- vision of this heading tie eight strands, each 12 inches long, of the waste en- broidery silk" which is so extensively advertised. and which generally comes in yard lengths. When all the fringe is tied in, knot it once and trim the ends very little to make them even.-Ladies' World.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Beware of Ointmsnts for Catarrh That
 Contain Mercury,

as mercury will surely destroy the sense of smell and completely derange the whole system when entering it through the mucous surfaces. Such articles should never be used except on prescriptions from reputable physicians, as the damage they will do is often ten fold to the good you can possibly derive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure manufactured by F. J. Cheney &y Co. To ledo, O., contains no mercury and is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. In buy ing Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine. It is taken internally, and made in Toledo, Ohio, by F. J. Cheney & Co Testimonials free.
 Sold by Druggists price 75c per bottle
 Halls Family Pills arc the best.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
ADVANTAGES OF BARE FEET.
Are the Children of the Time .sDressed
 to Death?"


 Visitors to Scotland used to be hor- rifed on seeing so many children run ming about barefooted. Bare feet are less common now than they were generation ago, and perhaps the change, while showing growing pros> perity in the nation, is not altogether to be recommended. Children's feet grow so fast that to keep them always properly shod is a matter that requires considerable care and some eXpendi ture. It matters very little to a ehild's future well-being that at some period of it's childhood the sleeves of a jacket have been too short or the skirt of frock too scant; but the compression of feet in boots too tight, or, even worse, too short, may be cause of tor ment in future years. Infinitely bet ter are bare feet than clumsy, heavy, ill., shapen boots. In the winter the feet may indeed want some protection from cold and wet, but during great part of the year children may safely and healthfully go barefooted.
 Some mothers, by no means of the poorest class, are convinced that the comfort and symmetry of the feet in maturer years are largely to be gained by giving them freedom during the time of growth. At very fashionable marriage some time ago child brides maid was seen silk-robed, but shoe less.
 And if shoes are undesirable, how much more so are gloves? Except the thick woolen ones for winter warmth, gloves should be banished from a child's wardrobe.-Pal Mall Gazette.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Mo CharRe.

It was evident that he was angry, and perhaps he had reason to be. Just as he passed under the scaffolding the painter and the result was disastrous.
 Look at that" he yelled, indicating his coat and making all sorts of violent gestures. The painter looked at it as requested;
 "You have a right to kick" he said, when his scrutiny was completed. "Gt's a very un- even piece of work. l won't charge you a cent for it it."-Chicago Post.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

at the great height at which it flies than a gull or sea swallow.
 In came the swiftly-fying birds, with peaks down pointed and quivering tail feathers futtering in the air. Their screams could be heard when they themselves were far away; and it is this shrin cry of theirs that has given the name applied by sailors of the "Boatswain." F. A. OBER.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Yes wake up to the danger which threat. sns you if your kidneys or bladder are inact- i've or weak. Don't you know that if you fail to impel them to action Bright's disease or diabetes awaits you? Use Hostetter's Stom- beneficial effect upon the kidneys when sluggish, and upon the bowels, liver, stom- ach and nervous sYstem
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Take inc Ar Line

To Louisville and Eastern Cities, 53 miles the shortest from St. Louis, makes quickest time, Pullman Sleepers, Parlor and Dining Cars. All trains leave from St. Louis Union Station. For complete information address J. k. Tapp, Travelling Passenger Agent, Kansas City, Mo. R. A. Campbell, General Passenger Agent, St. Louis, Mo.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

or cheerful or useful is next to an impossi- bility when, one is suffering from discom- forting cold or nasty little cough. If you are "down in the mouth" from the effects of a cough or a cold, you will find your de- light in the use of 25e bottle of Dr. Bells Pine-Tar-H Honey. Druggists sell it.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Grocers and women are very unfortunate people-they are compelled to please through the stomach. The eye is pleased a dozen times where the stomach is pleased once.-Atchison Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
There Ta a Difference

a real difference, vast difference-between Dr. Bells Pine-Tar-Honey and any other cough, cold or lung remedy. Besides cutting the phlegm and curing the cough or cold at once, 1t soothes the irritation-heals the bronchials, and exhilarates the lungs.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Consumption ix Prevented

by giving early attention to cold, whether slight or severe. A cold quickly disappears when Dr. Bells Pine Tar Honey is taken. This remedy makes weak lungs strong.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Fits stopped free and permanently cured No fits after first days use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. Free $2 trial bottle & treatise. Dr. Kline, 933 Arch st., Phila, Pa
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

The court of appeals of New York has held that it was no ground for a new trial because the jury in a murder case attended church on Sunday in GUS tody of the sheriff and heard a sermon DE the prevalence of crime.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Mamma, what is a farce?" "A farce? Why, it is the way your father went around and watered all my driedup plants the morning after I got home. Detroit Free Press
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

The people who really know what love is are afraid to tell, for fear their knowl- edge will give away an unpleasant expert enee.-Atchison Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

"Your husband seems to be a victim of the tobacco habit" '.No; I'm the victim. He
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Do You Play Whist. Euchre or othel
 Gamesf

The F. F. v. playing card is better than any 30 cent card on the market. Send Is cents for one deck or 9 cents for two decks (stamps or currency) to c. B. Ryan, Asst Gen'l Pass'r Agt. O. & O. Ky, Cincinnati, O.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

How accommodating some men are to their wives when asked to do something they are dying to do anyway.-Wa Washingtor Democrat.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Fortify Feeble Lungs Against Winter with Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar. Plkes Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Sore all over and stiff. Cured all Over by St. Jacobs Oil, and supple.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

What is it? Lame back. Use St. Jacobs Oil. What is it now? Cured Right.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Fond Mamma-"B Bobby, whatever ma kes you 50 restless?" Bobby-"Havin to keep still so much, suppose"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

No odds how little man does he likes to tell how he used to work.-Washingto Democrat
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Any wife can make her husband tremble by saying she ''has heard something about him.-Atchison Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Certainly it does Truly, surely. St. Jacobs Oil cures rheumatism. Thousands know 1t.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

No man is too shiftless to feel little bit romantic about his marriage Washington Democrat.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Vexed? Yes, the nerves, by Neuralgia. St. Jacobs Oil soothes, cures it.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Of Course Not,

Mir. Huggins-Isn't Miss Roxy peach?
 Miss Kittish-Yes, but she is not the only fruit in the orchard.-Detroit Free Press
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Sudden cold--soreness, stiffness. Promptly Use St. Jacobs Oil. Sudden cure. Sure.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
A Matter o9 Fashion.

Doctor-Madam, your husband has paraly-
 Wife = Oh, doctor, I'm delighted! I thought 1t was nervous prostration, and that's so common, you know.--Boston Tray eler
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

To Cure Cold In One Day Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All druggists refund money if 1t fails to cure. 25c.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Never strike a man when he's down-espe- cially for loan.- Chicago News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Dissatisfied people are, as a rule, loafers.- Atehison Globe.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Self Evident.

Miss Courtright-Whatd do you think of man who will marry woman for money?
 Mir Spooner-All I can say is that such fellow must be hard up.-Cleveland Leader.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
To He HnnnY

When money talks we never pause to criti else it's grammar.-Chieago News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24
Wake Up.

A lawyer doesn't know everything, but he thinks you think he does--Chieago News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-10-24

Untold wealth is thing well known to the tax assessor.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1897-07-10

would be justice II few White pcople
would call ON him and give him a dose
oi his own medicine, just 20 let him
see how he would like TO be chewed and
pinched.
On July LIST. Capt. A. Ball. 81 the
Mansfield, was trying TO free the bucket
which was caught in the shaft. A bolt
broke and Doll and an Italian who was
working with him were both hurt. Doll
was cut badly on the back of the head
and the Italian was hurt more seriously
A prize fight took place on Main ~. AT
30 p. m. ON the 9th. The pugilsts
were Robert II. Ross. lightweight, and
John Garland. heavyweight. Bob did
very well for the first lew rounds. But
John gave him "A Corhett-Fitz blow ON
the chest later on and his lung power
went back and SO he retrcated from the
ring at once.
The stillnes Of the night was broken
ON July 18th about midnight by the
laundering of cannon on the hill side.
II sounded Hs il the Grand Army was
stationed there md fierce battle was
being fought. But lo! Nothing more
than the sounding Of the keynote of
liberty, sign FOR all Co join and cele-
brate the birth OF our independence.