The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-08-01
"MY IDEAL SUMMER GIRL"
A. h. Hummsl Describes Her So bccu-
fately That All the Girls Can Aspire.
MUST UNDERSTAND ART OF FLIRTING
Intelligent, but Not Too Much So. Sharp
but Not Too Pointed, and
Must be Good
Tempered.

II isn't fair 10 ask a busy man his
.dcal OF a summer girl; for the chances
are that he must take her as he finds her,
Tor he hasn't time TO look her up
But as for me. since you ask me point
blank my ideal conception of the Goddess
of summer, / will say that, although her
name IS Legion 0or like all girls and
all women, l still have my ideals to
which cling. and which l discover when
can.
Ny ideal summer girl is beautiful. Now
can't ask for a perfect conception OF
beauty, an localized goddess with Tea
lures as II ohsolied from marble and a
form like that of Diana. But by boautfui
/ mean one who looks beautifuli and In
this l must include the handsome Is as
handsome docs" idea.
NV ideal summer woman is good-tem-
psrod. Deliver me from a woman VINO Is
Quarrelsolne on hot day. Such women
should be transported TO the South sea
Islee, where they place bad-tcmpereo
woman upon an island by herself and let
her fight IL out with the dOlphins. or. II
a nearer expedicnt is sought, she should
be taken to ocean Grove and set down IN
the auditorium for course OF sermons
and lectures. The ideal summer woman
Is as unruffied as a summer breeze ana as
calm as the moon, when II shines IKE
pearl over silver heaven
"a my ideal woman is creature OF
more than mere form, / must speak OF
her attachments. 1 like her To be intelli-
gent, yet not too much so. Ike hcr 10
be Informed. yet not posted 10 the point
Of argument. 1 like her to have ideas. yet
not too original ones. l like her TO think
new thoughts and do new things, but by
no means those out Of the conventional
run
When all is said and done, and IT is
time TO settle up conclusions, 1 must say
that / am conventional man. No man
more fond of law and order than j, An
archy, incendiarism, blood. and booty tnd
no answering chord in my nature. IL Is
this very. love OF law and order that has
led my professional footsteps 70 where
they are / hate distress and disturbance,
and / hold that the men OF my profess
sion do more to allay IL than any other
profession under the sun.
This may seem as aside. but II is not.
II is an argument 10 emphasize my re-
mark that / like conventional people aid
particularly conventional women. IL VIII
often happsn that in their aim TO become
ideal summer girls" young women VIII
throw aside the appearance Of convention
ality and act as our grandmothers would
call "hOity-tOity." but for such there Is
never the answering charm or admirauon
at least not so far as | am concerned
Better Miss Prude than Miss Don't care,
for can laugh at the former, but there is
only pity for the latter.
My summer girl my true ideal, unoer-
stands a dolce far niente. she can 40
nothing and do Il so sweetly that ENJOY
doing IL with her. She can lie in an easy
chair upon the piazza by the hour ana
smile and smile. She can toy with DOCK
or doze of, IL l am reading, yet be ever
awake and ready 10 laugh when the laugh
is called for L like an incident summer
girl. one who has possibilities, but is
content 10 let them go-sometmes. i IKE
a restful girl. 1 like soothing girl
| have heard, yes, and seen. Diana the
Hmtress-the athletic summer girl, /
have beheld Psyche 1 know all about
Juno for she has posed for me-and the
rest Of the piazzaful of people. / can re-
call Minerva and her everlasting book and
her tiresome questions-lookng always
for information. But as for me, give me
the restful girl. The girl who doesn't ask
You 20 chase a ball over a netting, who
doesn't thorn you into taking a mountain
tramp, who is willing that you should let
the wheels in your bicycle and the wheels
IN your head recuperate together; the girl
who isn't always planning trip some
where.
A young woman once said 10 me: "Mr.
Hummel, / know why you like your sis
ter better than other girls. II is because
she let's you alone"
Maybe she was right. I am not going 10
say. But / will remark that 1t would be
extremely dangerous TO my peace OF MIND
II / were TO md another girl ENJOY as
well as | do my sister. That girl would
have 10 take the name of Hummel, or
Hummel himself would have 10 go away
and learn the little song about Forgive
and Forget, My Darling"
But such girls are scarce. Have never
seen them? Yes. hundreds of them. But.
by the worst fate that ever overlook
man. some one else had seen them first
and so twere uselessl
NY ideal summer girl IS dainty I'm her
tress. She isn't elaborate. No man adj
pires frill and fuss. But she is dainty.
phe wears a ribbon IL is, oh so freshl If
she is attired in that ladys favOrite,
thirt-waist, IL Is. Oh, so spOtless and
smart II she wears a sun hat IL is tip
ped at precisely the right angle, and her
boots are poems at which l would gaze
IN delicate admiration. The dress of the
summer girl is something upon which a
man grows eloquent in thought. And
svery man thinks the same about it, at
least every man whose soul aspires to
know and be known In summer girldOm.
Chauncey NJ. Depew once said a good
thing about the summer girl. 1t is so
good that IL is no harm to use il again
and 10 think Of IL often.
MY summer girl" said he. hasn't a
rreat deal OF brains. She doesn't need
them. l have enough for myself and
aer. too. She hasn't much money. She
doesn't want IL. L can earn enough for
us both. But she Is fond Of me-
/ think IL was Tesla who received a
letter asking If such a thing as an af-
lection tester could not be added to the
brain cameras now in use, and II Mr. Tes-
la would send the first one G. o. ID. TO the
named address
II there were such thing as an "af-
lection tester | should purchase one,
for the summer girl who is heartless
and who plays with a man for chan lead
Ing him into prettineSs only to make fun
OF him afterwards. rs a creature who is
not worthy the name OF summer girl
the name which Is a synonym of all that
is SWEET and lovely in summertide.
You ask for a description Of my summer
girl-in one word. Then ! should say IL
is-grace, For in that little monosyllable
Is summed up characteristics. not only of
the body. but of the mind ana heart as
well-grace
And did / add that the summer girl
ought 10 know how to fiirt? Perhaps /
forgot 10 mention it-but she ought
II