The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-10-01

often be doesn't need to practice II any
more. Detroit Journal.
Waiter, It is almost half an hour
since ! ordered that turtle soup" "sor-
ry, sir, but you know how slow tur-
ties are."-London Tid-Bits.
Bass-Was that baby talk your wife
was talking as I came in? Fogg That
was mother talk; no baby ever saw
INDUCED In such gibberish.-Boston
Transcript.
The Chaperon-Y should never run
down your friend. my dear. The Chap
eroned-No danger OF that; they can all
beat me at scorching.-NewY York Even
ing Journal
Doctor Ito female patienD-You have
slight touch OF fever; your tongue
has thick coat Patient excited
ly)-Oh. doctor. do tell me how 1t fits
Fact and Fiction.
Mistress-Now, you must always
sweep well behind the doors, Mary
Mary-Yes'm. trust me for that; rs the
only way one can get the dust OUT OF
sight-Pick-Me-Up.
Teacher want each OF you 10 make
a sentence. using the word delight" In
1t. Small boy (colored)-De wind come
in de winder an blowed out de light
Philadelphia Ledger.
Hell wonder II that couple are mar
ried. She-Certainly not. He How
can you tell? She-Why. they've been
talking to each other for nearly half an
hour.-New York World.
rs this healthy portion OF the
Statei" asked a traveller In Arkansas.
"Well | should say 1t is. There has
been nobody hung about here In three
months Texas Siftings.
Mrs. Sweet-Do you find 1t economi-
cal to do your own cooking? Mrs.
Burnem-Oh, yes; my husband doesn't
eat half as much as he did when we
had a cook--Boston Traveller.
I'VE have much new and valuable
Information concerning the Hlttites.
the Invites. the Jebusites and the Moab
ties" His friend-How about the
MosquitobItes:- Household Words.
Poor chap Bright fellow. but 4
hopeless IDIOT judge, from his talk
NO. indeed; he's merely quoting a lit
tie passage from the latest Scotch my
el."-Cincinnati Commercial-Tribuuc
Clara-Are you not afraid, Maud, to
marry old Dodderly? I hear he gets
horribly Jealous without any cause.
Maud-Don't be anxious. dear; I'll take
care he never does that.-Pick-M e-Cp
ITS funny the shurref amt scourii
the country for them stage robbers,
said the postmaster. Il guess" ven.
tured Rubberneck Bill that he ain,
got the sand. Journal.
Wiggins-what makes you so certain
of Bawler's patriotism?-Bo ggs-Why
he lust bOils over with Indignation
when he hears OF the wrongs of for
eigners that we have no interest I'M
Truth.
Widows 1t true. captain, that 4
sailor has a wife In every porte OLE
Tar avagcly)-Madam, the sailoi
needs the time he has ashore for res
and Observation-Disclosures Norti
American.
Professor-Whati Is the best cure fo
prolonged emanciation? Medical stu
dent-Throw the patient in the air
Professionally What? Medical stu
dent-He'n come down pmmp.-Ney
York Press.
my good man, do you ever do any
thing to bring light and purity into tn
homes OF your fellow menf" "Yus-
lots" "You distribute tractsT mo
| clean windows and beats carpets
Illustrated Bits.
, Mrs. De Style (for effect)-Norah
, Norahl Did you put my jewel cas-
: away? Norah-Yis. mum. OF did
There on'y foive camphor balls lift II
II. Shall sind for some more. mum
New York Journal.
George, wish you'd leave this nttl
package at the express Office" me car
~ a bundle? l guess not. Besides, w
got to lug both my tires and handl
bar down to the repair shop.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-You say you married western
man? She-Yes. "And that he neve
drinksr" Never" Nor smokes d?
NO. sir" "Nor loses his temper?
That's what | said" when did b
dieT'-Yonkers Statesman.
Mickey Dorlan-Hullo, Bill How
did you like being a caddiey Bill
Nolan-Ahl didn't like Il at all. a
all. First de Teller he towld be te
kape me eye on de ball, den he gave m
de ball in de eye.-Harper's Bazaar.
Il surely had a royal and nobl
time" said he recapitulating. Il ha'
four kings. and In the row that ensne
] had to put up my dukes and the NJ
shot Of It all was that ! was indicte
on three counts.-lndianapolis Journa
Teacher-Can you tell me in wha
year Caesar invaded Britain? Pupil
Yes'm. Teacher-What year was II
' Pupil-You can't expect me to an
swer two questions IN succession. Tha
question belongs to the next In tn
class.-Boston Transcript.
1T seems to me-" said one toun
woman that Harold talks more cleal
" on the tariff than anyone else hav
ever heard yes" replied Mis-
Cayenne. HE has the advantage q
not knowing enough about II TO get hi