Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1897-11-03
THE HOME.
Politeness in Children.

A mother writing in Haypey's
BGzaa, prefaces her "ta1k" under the
above heading by telling of reading,
not long ago, of a discouraged and
despairing mother who said to her
children, "You amt got no manners
and declare 1 can't beat none into
you.''
Now the course pursued by this
mother was not more unwise and but
little more vulgar than that pursued
by some parents in the higher walks
of life in their attempts to teach their
children to be polite. AS po1iteness is
the expression of kindness and good
will, it can not be whipped nor scolded
into children. 1t can not be put on or
off at will, like garment. It must be
largely the result of example in the
case of children. The initiative fac
ulty is strong in a child, and if father
and mother are habitua1ly polite to
each other and to every one else, the
child will initiate this beautiful trait
and be polite also.
The writer recalls without pleasure
visit in home in which the mother
very properly classed good manners
among the cardinal virtues of life,
and she was determined that her chill
dren should be "litt1e ladies and gen.
t1emen." Her methods of achieving
this result were astonishing, in view
of her intelligence and of her position
in life. No sooner were we seated at
the dinner table than she began to in
struct the children in this wise:
Edith, sit up straight. 1t is vulgar
to lounge at the table, above all
places. Harry, take your elbows from
the table. How often have told you
that it was rude to put your elbows on
the table? Is it possible, Harold, that
you are eating mashed potatoes with
spoon? have told you over and
over again just what was the proper
use of the spoon at the table,
In the par1or it was. edith, sit
erect! Harry, don't pass in front of
Mr.. H without an apology! Har-
old, you forgot to say Thank youu
Mamma wants her little boys and girl
to be polite.''
| Now we are all more or less fami1-
lar with this painful method of in
structing children in the art of polite
ness. It is possible that it was the
misfortune of some readers of this to
have received this sort of instruction
in the days of their own childhood. If
so, they can testify to the sense of hui
initiation and anger that filled their
childish breasts when the attention of
strangers was directed to them. They
felt shy, awkward, and painfully self
conscious in the presence of visitors,
and the arrival of guests was looked
forward to with fear and dread, be.
cause it meant public exposure of the
child's defects.
This method would imply that good
breeding was confined altogether to
the external things of life, and that if
children ate properly and gave proper
replies when spoken to, and bowed at
the right time and in the right way,
they had achieved the highest forms
of politeness.
Henry Ward Beecher said that "po-
likeness is religious duty. and should
be part of religious training.'' The
law of politeness applies to men and
women quite as much as to children;
aud if courtesy and kindness and
sweetness are the natural expression
and attitude of the parents, these
graces will naturally manifest them
selves in the child.