The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-21

soCiations all over the country. but his
public duties make II impossible for him
TO accept very many Invitations
Plant of IA Congressman.
THE life of a congressman would be
not only bearable, but attractive. were
1t not for the drudgery il entails" re-
marked well-known congressman
from western state, as he mOpped the
perspiration from his brow and gazed
in most melancholy fashion at a pile
of letters lying on his table. lie was
seated in his room at Williards his
coat off and he had tucked a handker-
chief into the neck end of his shirt
wherewith to protect his collar and era
vat from the inrocds of the melting
mood. Documents, books, papers and
what not lay round in dlsorderly pro-
fusion, and at the hour of midnight he
was busily toiling in the efforts to re-
duce his correspondence from mount
ain to molehill proportions. Just look
across the street." said he, land you
Will observe seated in cluster round
the cool corner of the Ebbitt House a
coterie or gentlemen, chatting and en-
Joying each others company. Three
hfths OF the crowd are members of con-
gress. and while l am penned up like
a NhiNhNi III a. COOD WOIklnR INTO the
wee sma' hours my worthy colleagues
nightly disport themselves in this fash
ion. They must either control pocket
boroughs or else shirk their labors and
take big chances. Perhaps, after all.
they are the wiser. / have taken the
fancy" continued the congressman, re-
flectively, that a constituency has no
mercy on a representative who is known
to be a worker They just lie down on
him and think he likes it, and therefore
call for things they don't want as we'll
as those they do, just to put him on
his mettle.
Enrages the Constituents.
81 suppose you think l ought to en-
ploy a stenographer to help me out in
my correspondence. ] do occasionally
procure such assistance, but if there is
anything which makes my people rag
ing mad ii is to receive answers to
their letters written in a strange hand
with my signature alone appended.
They assume it is not my action, but
put up job just to get rid of the affair.
Occasionally i am obliged to dictate to
q stenographer formal reply acknowl-
edging receipt Of the letter and stating
that the matter will receive attention
in due course, etc. / heard the other
day Of a conversation which occurred
between two of my constituents to
whom L had indicted such letters Did
you hear from Congressman Blank in
reply to your letter. queried one. Yes,
! did; | received one Of his - circular
letters! Did you hear from him?' Yes
replied the first; ] got one Of the -
circulars, tool"
When typewriters first came into use
a member of congress sent typewrit-
ten letter to one of his constituents who
returned it with a pencil comment: "Pm
not so derned ignorant that l can't read
handwriting; and you needn't send me
no letters printed like a newspaper"
Ludicrous Mistake.
When G. G. Matson of Indiana was
chairman of the committee on p nsions
he employed a young stenographer who
took letters rapidly in shorthand, and
wrote them out nicely on a typewriter.
On one occasion Mr.. Matson dictated
a letter beginning as follows: Il am
very glad to hear from you"
In his rapid manipulation of the type
writer the young stenographer struck
the wrong keys and wrote ''gald'' in
stead Of glad"
Within a week Mr.. Matson received
very indignant letter from his constit-
uent, saying: Il have worked and
voted for you for years, and now you
say you are CALLED to hear from me-"
The congressman found considerable
difficulty in explaining to his irate
friend that he was glad" and not
CALLED" to hear from him. The young
stenographer was finally obliged to
write to the man and deliberately eX-
L. l. 10 tl,a ,,,ic fol la
his typewriter, and thus eXonerate the
innocent congressman.
Hot Under the Collar.
The fools are not all dead yet And
the story-tellers have all been lucky in
escaping the fool-killer also. They were
in robust health and chuck full of spir-
its, Of all kinds, when L glided into
popular hotel this afternoon and took
part in a little seance. They were all
newspaper men, and they were all hot
under the collar, because congress has
remained so long I'm session, and there
has been no opportunity for a vacation.
But with the assistance of a few cleo
trio fans. and with the active aid of
man who mixed lemonades, they be-
came good natured and told stories by
the score. Walter Washburn told about
Tom Hannum, who was the wittiest
man ever known in Washington jour
nalism. He came from Philadelphia and
had consumption when he came here.
He lived six years, gradually dying,
and always joking. The newspaper
men secured an appointment for him
under the last administration and he
was sent to Texas as an Inspector Be-
fore leaving he was given dinner at
leading hotel by his newspaper friends.
During the course of the evening Han
mum said
81 think the Texas climate will do me
good. IL is much like the Florida cli-
mate, and many dying people have re-
covered in Florida. Consumption
can't kill a fellow i'm hot, dry air.
had a friend who was dying of con-
sumption who went to Florida three
years ago. When he left Philadelphia
he only weighed ninety-three pounds.
At any rate, that is what the express
company charged his executor"
The Boy and the Geese.
Cluskey Cromwell narrated the story
of the bad boy in North Carolina, who