Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-12-03

nual Home and Harvest Festival"
Mrs. Stanton spoke on such national
questions as the recognition Of Cuba,
prison reform, silver, and the suffrage.
L. ]. Richard is a gentleman who has
been building corduroy roads on the
way to Klondike and packing provis-
o on his back to the land Of cold. He
got tired and turned back. He confided
to a reporter these striking facts: "As
to climate, 1t is an %atrocious place. I
said to an Indian: Charlie, does 1t rain
here all the timer NO, not rain all
time said Charlie; sometime he
snow"
Dumas the elder was not in the habit
Of counting his money, but did once.
leaving 1t on the mantel while he left
the room for a few minutes. When he
returned and was giving some instruc-
lions to a servant he mechanically
counted the pieces over again and found
a louis missing. "Well," he said, with
q sigh, considering that I never count
ed my money before. I can't say 1t
pays"
During q recent session Of parliament
Sir William Harcourt found himself UNI
expectedly in view Of an important
speech and, having no notes, went into
the stenographer's room to prepare
some. He procured a lady typist and
dictated to her for some time. AS he
wound up a glowing peroration the lady
typist suddenly gasped and burst into
tears. "Would you mind saying all that
again?" she said, plaintively; Owe for
gotten to put any paper in the ma
chine!"
The late Gov. Henry A. Wise Of vir-
ginia received from admirers more than
two dozen dragon pistols and Colts
revolvers, said to have been taken from
John Brown in the engine house, while
there IRE few homes in West Virginia
that do not contain q rifle, pistol and
dagger taken from the man whose
'body lies moldering in the ground,
while his soul goes marching on" There
is a dealer in Washington who has built
a block of houses with money made by
selling pistols and pixies taken from
Brown and his supply is still ample for
the demand.
A young doctor had among his first
patients IN u%ncommonly dirty infant
brought to his office in the arms Of q
mother whose face showed the same
adherence Of soap. Looking down up
on the child for a moment, he solemnly
said: ut seems to be suffering from
'hydropathic hydrophobia.'" "Oh, doc
tor, is it as bad as that?" cried the
mother; "that's a big sickness for such
a mite. Whatever shall I do for the
child?" ''Wash its face, madam" re-
piled the doctor; "the disease will go off
with the dirt" "Wash its face-wash
its face, indeed!!' exclaimed its mother,
losing her temper; "what next, I'd like
to know?" wash your own, madam
wash your own" was the rejoinder.
Many years ago, Mr.. Gladstone,
speaking Of Mr.. Parnell, made use Of
the oft-quoted phrase, marching
through rapine to the dismemberment
Of the empire" On the same day there
was q horse race, in which the winners
were respectively veracity, Tyrone and
Lobster. These facts were cabled to
New Zealand together in the usual
shorthand style of the cable. The re-
suit was that next day the New Zea-
land papers contained the following
extraordinary paragraph: "Mr. Glad
stone denounced Mr.. Parnell as march
ing through rapine to the dismember-
ment of the empire, and said that the
Irish leader had the veracity of q Ty-
rome lobster"
A Swede came into a lawyers office
n day says the Cincinnati Enquirer)
and asked: els hare ben a lawyers
placer" Eyes; I'm a lawyer" well,
Master Lawyer, I tank I shall have a
paper made" "What kind of n paper
do you want?" "Well, I tank 1 shall
have a mortgage. You see, 1 buy me
q piece Of land from Nels Petersen, and
I want a mortgage on It," ooh, n
You don't want a mortgage; what you
want is a deed" mo, master; I TANK
I want mortgage. You see, I buy me
two pieces Of land before. and / got
deed for dem, and mother faller come
along with mortgage and take the land;
SO I tank I better get mortgage this
time"
Down in the rural district 1T happen
ed according to the Atlanta Constitu-
tom, when the Mean Man invited the
preacher to dinner. The Mean Man
had plenty Of money, but he did not
spend it on his table, which on that
occasion showed but scant fare. "Par-
son." said the Mean Man, 'times air
hard an groceries high: but, SIGH rs it
is, you're welcome. Will you AK a
b~lessin'?' II will,' replied the parson;
fold your hands," And then he said.
lord, make us thankful for what we
are about to receive-for these greens
without bacon, this bread without salt,
| this coffee without Sl1ra. and afto. r.o