Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-06-19
Aumprpns 9epart,llent.
ROBBED HIM Of ALL.

ROBBED HIM Of ALL.
A deputy sheriff rode up to cabin
in East Tennessee, and calling an old
fellow, who stood with a gun in his
hand, said: :,
"Dan, you'll have to stop you fool
ishness."
"What sorter foolishness."
"Why, every morning just as soon
as you get out of bed you take up that
old gun and begin to shoot at every
thing you see."
"Wall, amt that right ?"
"Right! Why, of course 1t amt.
Yesterday you shot Anderson's colt
and this morning you broke the hind
leg of old Mrs. Tomlin's cow"
1Now, look here" said Dan. 'The
folks in this here neighborhood have
set their hearts on maxim saint OF
somebody and have settled on me.
Sometime ago a committee from the
church come and lowed that l was
drinkin' too much whisky to suit the
brethren. Wall, lowed I'd quit, as
I didn't want to cause no trouble, and
1 did quit although it was a powerful
hard pull. About two weeks after
ward here comes along lot of women
folks. Iwondered what they could be
after, but want long in findin' out.
They said that the sisters had come to
the conclusion that I was chawin' al
together too much tobacco; that l
was settin' a bad example for the hoys,
and flowed, they did, that for the good
of the community and the risin' gen.
Grafton in particular, / must quit.
Wall, as never did care to hang out
against the best interests of the com
munity, I did quit. 1t then went
along all right for while, and I had
begun to look on myself as a pretty ac-
commodatin' sort of feller, when, 10
and behold, another flock of women
called on me one day."
"sWhat in the world can you want
now p asked.
"One of the women sorter slmpered
q little and fixed up her mouth in q
shape that was good enough to bite,
and then said: Mr.. Dan, you have
been mighty accommodating in the
past and We do hope that you won't
disapp'int US this time
"'Fire away said I.
"sWell,' she said, simperin again, we
have noticed that you fish on Sunday.
usTbat's a fact I answered, but
Sunday is about the only time 1 have
to fish, and, to tell you the truth, am
powerful in need of water vidults.'
"She simpered agin-and blamed il
I didn't come mighty nigh grabbin'
her and kissin' her right thar, vidults
or no vidults-simpered agin, and
Flowed that it was powerful bad to fish
on Sunday. She said that I was ruin,
ing all the boys in the community and
binted that if didn't quit, the work
of the circuit rider would be all un-
done. Wall, you see 1 didn't want to
be credited with no such wickedness
as that, so when the little critter had
simpered agin, I jest jumped up,
popped my heels together about three
times before hit the ground, and told
her that I'd be blamed if it shouldn't
be as she said.
"Now, Mr.. Sheriff, it won't take
much of man to see how it left me
situated. was mighty fond of lick
er, but the Ticker was gone; was
awful fond of tobacker, but the to-
backer was gone; powerful hankerin'
after water vidults, but as / could
onlv fish on Sunday, and had promised
not to do that, water vidults was gone.
There was only one enjoyment left"
"And what enjoyment was that"'
"Snatchin' up my gun as soon as !!
got out of bed at mornin', and shootin'
at everything could see movin' about,
and 1 do hope that the folks
hain't taken it into their heads to rob
me of my last and mcst innocent
amusement. I am poor man, MIR.
Sheriff, and have had no great deal OF
fun, and l think the good people OF
this nelghborhood should take some
little pity on me-"
81 sympathize with you, Dan, but
You'll have to stop that shooting"
"Wall," he said, scratching his rag
ged whiskers, "that leaves me out en-
tirely. Mother, oh, mother Calling
his wife), pack up the children and
the other duds. Well have to leave
this community, and 20 where folks
don't tread a DO man into the face OF
the yeth."
T1,r Cu1EE II-cTJCE IN FIY-An