The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-07-07
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
= It il q fact that q backbiter al
ways has good teeth.
- People do not grow in grace by
looking at the faults Of others.
- A county Jail in Mexico is said
to consist Of a live-oak tree with a
chain and steeple attached.
= When you hear a man say that
every man has his price, you may Do
pend upon it that he at least is on the
market.
- A man six feet high standing on
level ground can only see objects on
the same level three and 0, quarter
miles distant.
= Sincerity is speaking as we think,
believing as we pretend, acting as we
profess, performing as we promise, and
being as we appear TO be.
- Goodness and love mold the form
into their own image, and cause the
Joy and beauty of love to shine forth
from every part Of the face.
- The man who possesses the fun
damental virtues of truthfulness, hon
esty and purity should be judged very
leniently for minor shortcomings.
- The girl who n~larries for money,
usually has a look on her face after
marriage that indicates that she is
having trouble in collecting her salary.
- lis your baby ptrong?" "Well,
I nuld say 30. he raised the whole
family out of bed at 8 o'clock this
morning, and scientists say that that's
the hour when evesybody's strength
is at its lowest point"
= Wife-"How very e~xtravagant
you are, George, to pay seven dollars
for a hat u Husbsnd-"Why, on
found it, you paid twenty-seven for
yours ~ Wife-'sNo such thing /
told them to send the bill to you.
-"And you will neverforgct me 2"
he asked. She raised her eyes trem-
ously to his. elbow" she asked, sscan
T ever forget him who called the night
I wore a new organdie the first time?
No, Edwin, I can never forget you.
Henry, you look very pale.
What's the trouble 2" II was stung
to the quick by an adder this after
noon" Chow did it happen
"Why, I dropped in at the bank, and
the bookkeeper told me my account
was overdrawn."
= A man in a New York newspaper
denounced marriage because his wife
wore a loose wrapper all day" One
of his critics sharply advised him ITO.
save up his cigar money and buy her.a
tailor-made suit" Sixteen to one it
will win every time.
- Miss Baquebay-"I had such q
pretty compliment from my .optician
to-day" Miss Fenway-"What was
it, dear 2" Miss Baquebay:"Hc told
me that I had the best nose for eye
glasses that ever came under his pro-
fessional treatment"
A derrick on the roof Of a new
building at Atlanta, Ga, fell Monday,
knocking three workmen from a scat
folding on the ninth story. Twoo
of them were dashed to instant death
on the ground, 125 feet below, and the
third was saved in a miraculous way.
Pretty Teacher Neverely): "John-
ny Johnny Stubs You are whis-
pering again" Johnny "a smart boy):
"Please, ! am only telling Winnie
Wrinkles what nice things all the
gentlemen said about you when you
walked along the street."
. The assertion comes from Ger
many that the majority of the people
are not only right-handed, but also
right-sightcd. By this is meant that
most persons see better with the right!
eye than with the left, and habitually,
though unconsciously, employit more.
Some persons, however, make greater
use of the left eye than of the right,
and accordingly are said to be cleft
eyed"
The Chinese are said to possess
secrets in the preparation of sweets
that astonIsh our most accomplished
confectioners, says the New York Sun.
They know how to remove the pulp
from oranges and substitute various
jellies. The closest examination fails
to reveal any opening or incisiou in
the skin Of the fruit. They perform
the same feat with eggs. The shells
are apparently as intact as when the
eggs were newly laid, but upon break
ing and opening them the contents
consist of nuts and sweetmeats.
A printer doesn't rush to the
doctor when he is out of "sorts."
Nor to the baker when he is out Of
Cpl" Nor to hell when he wants the
"devil." Nor to the Bible when he
wants a good "rule." Nor to the
gunshop when he wants a shooting
stick" Nor to a cabinet shop when
he wants furniture" Nor to q bank
when he wants "quoins. Nor to a
girl when be wants a 'press." Nor
to a lawyer when he has a "dirty
case" Nor to a butcher when he
wants "phat." Nor to a pump when
he's dry-and has ten cents in his
pocket.
- It is one of the unwritten laws
that the President shall never go be-
yond the boundary line Of the country
during his term of Office, and naval
men say that as soon as the Presidents
ship loses soundings ne is cut of the
jurisdiction Of the Nation. This is
not literally true, however, for all
along the Atlantic seaboard, from the
Virginia cages to New York, there is
what is known as che 100.fathom
mark, extending far out in the ocean
beyond the thrse-mile limit, declared
by international law to be the extreme
limit of jurisdiction that a country
has over it's ocean boundary.
II minister at Larchmont, N. ",
recently obtained a divorce 10 North
n - d. .1-k1- ~-sEn