Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-05-01
1tjausiaf 6athtrings.
s@ A store in Chicago, announces
MPickles and New York papers"

and pliaole as silk.
s9 The consumption of soap in In.
dia only reaches the modest amount OF
one ounce per head annually.
r6- 1t is said that in some parts of
Japan robbers are convicted on ma
iority vote of the community.
H@ A Massachusetts, editor celebra-
ted the arrival of triplets at his house
by printing his paper in red.
p9 The present governor of Mary
land is the first one in many years
who was born outside of the state.
p9- The chief trouble with our hearts
is that they are under the rule of gold
rather than the golden rule.
Sp@ Oranges have been grown in
Lyons, Kan, the owner of tree hav.
ing plucked three this season.
p6Every real nice old woman thinks
that people like to hear about her
married children and the grandchil-
dren.
p6 When we strive to do the best
we can we are sure to find that our
best is beyond anything we had dared
to hope for.
R6 The world stands by every old
| lie till it is found untenable, and op-
poses every new truth till it proves ir-
resistible.
p8 Never criticize your wife. She's
mighty poor woman and an anomaly
if she is not a great deal better than
you are.
s~ An engagement ring is joyfnlly
worn by the girl who imagines she is
captor when she is really captive,
doomed to worse than penal servitude.
p6F Josh Billings says he knows peo-
pie who are so fond of argument that
they will stop and dispute with a
guide board about the distance to the
next town.
sd An observing politician says that
the difference between those going in
and those going out of Office is mainly
this: the former are sworn in, and the
latter 60 out swearing.
s@ The trouble with married peo-
pie generally is that they did not be-
gin right. If there were less lying be-
fore marriage, there would not be SO
much of it after marriage.
DGr In Waterford, Me-, there is a
pastor who used to be an expert boxer
in his college days, and this winter he
has been giving lessons in the manly
art to the youths of his neighborhood.
Bay "pa, who was Shylock ?" "Great
goodness, boy! You attend church
and Sunday school every week, and
don't know who Shylock was ?" cried
his father. $50 and read your Bible,
SIR"
s6~ Regard not much who is for thee
or who against thee; but give all thy
thought and care to this-that God be
with tn e in everything thou doest for
whom God will help, no malice of man
shall he able to hurt.
pde In Mexico the schoolchildren who
have done best are allowed to smoke
cigarettes while pursuwing their les
sons. 1t is supposed that this is done
in order that the bright scholars shall
be brought down to the common level.
s6 A man who claims to know
something about dogs, advises anyone
wishing to pick out good puppy from
a litter, to let the mother choose for
him. He says that in moving her pups
the mother dog always picks up the
best one last.
H6 Two young women Of Moscow
recently strangled an old female miser
and took her money, as they explained
in court, in order to provide them
selves with funds for travelling abroad
to complete their scientific education.
s6r A Canadian lawyer, whose sign
read, "a. Swindle," was advised by
friend to have his first name spelled
out in full-Arthur or Andrew, or
whatever it might be. He didn't fol-
low the advice, however. His first
name is Adam.
B6H 1t is recorded of the bishop Of
Exeter, that when some younger and
more excitable prelate wished that
there was preachers in the church of
England as eloquent as Spurgeon, ne
dryly remarked, "Thou shalt not covet
thy neighbours ass"
p9 It is stated, as the result of care
full observation, that rain is more fire.
quent between noon and midnight than
between midnight and noon. The
smallest rainfalls take place in the
morning, as the sun is going up the
greatest in the afternoon, as the sun is
setting.
p8 A Jersey City landlord, who
woke his tenant at 12.45 a. M, on
March ,and demanded the March rent,
pushed the "early bird" idea to an ex-
treme, according to the notions of the
tenant, who threw him down flight
of stairs after badly maltreating him.
W Husband-It seems to me that
YOU come to the Office good deal
more than there is any necessity for.
Wife, cannot help it, dear; your
manners in the office are so much nicer
than they are at home, that like to
stay at the office and enjoy the con-
trast.
s9- A western traveller, having Sc
cured half bed, in order to prevent
encroachments, buckled spur on his
heel before retiring. His unfortunate
sleeping partner, after several thrusts
of the sharp reminder, roared out:
"Say, stranger, if you are gentle
man, you ought at least to cut your
toenails."