The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-05-16
A Kansas Smile or Two.

A Kansas Smile or Two.
BIZ Gwinn Of Badgeville. Kansas, re-
Gently visited Jerry Simpson in Washing
ton. While the trip was still in coasem-
p,a,ion. Gus Hereford the local tailor and
a man OF good standing n Badgevilie. said
one day to Bill:
-Bil. when you 90 down TO see Jerry
Next month tApriD.
You amt going in those hand-me-downs
are your
Nope" (very slowly and indecis.vely).
Spose you let me make you suit. sp.ck
and span. in the latest New York style. so
tnai you viii be right up 10 date"
Would * cost much?'
Thirty dollars
BIZ Gwinn told Gus TO go ahead and make
II When the suit was finished BIZ pu, II
on and did lock frs, rate. L, was cut
neatly and Mt well. Around the edges was
SILK braid the whole sui, being SO orna-
mented. cuffs. lapels and all
Bill went OF TO Washington He wan
dered around town for four days. a good
part OF the time alone and finally wound
up with Jerry again
II was plain TO be seen tina, BIZ was
slightly troubled and he finally unbosomed
himself.
Jerry he said seriously. do you see
anything the matter with these clo,hesc''
No" said Jerry.
Nothing unusual?''
mo" answered Jerry. "In fact Bill
think they are very neat-thought so
from the first.
We'll" said Bill. you know Gus Here
ford. the tailor? He made this suit In
Badgeville He said Il was the latest NeS
York style. See this braid all around the
edges"
Yes"
well, I've wandered around this town
for four days now and stuffed the clothes
OF every man I met and haven't seen but
one coat besides this and that had the draid
around the edges"
Where was that?''
AT the Smithsonian Institute"
THE Smithsonian Institutee'
"Yes. sir. On the Goa, tina; Abraham Lin
coin was assassinated IN"
Yesterday, on the south side Of the Santa
Fe depot on trunk, sat very aged white
gentleman and a very aged colored one
They were having very heated CONVEX
sation about something, and while no ami
rosi,y could be detected in their tones. the
interest OF both was clearly intense.
Finally they raised their voices so the
curions by-standers could hear what they
said.
The colored man cooked an eye and said:
so you say you was in dat Mexican
wah?"
Yes. sir" said the white gentleman vita
great decision.
well. we'll" marveled the colored gen.
tleman.
Eyes. sir" reiterated the veteran.
How old was you when you went into dat
wah?" asked the colored man.
"Twenty-seven years" answered the vet
eran.
How old are you now?" again asked the
colored man.
''Seventy-seven years.
The colored gentleman bowed his head
and was lost in deep thought All the by
ISLANDERS understood that he was about 10
indulge in some brilliant BIT OF philosophy
and listened sharply. Then came a radi-
ant smile from the colored gentleman as
he asked:
Dat Mexican wah was about fifty years
ago wasn't it mistah?"
In a neighboring county is sheriff OF
quick. nervous disposition who has for a
deputy the most deliberate man on this
terrestrial ball This deputy's name Is
Henry and he is always precise and courte-
Gus. clean and conscientious in everything
he does and says:
The other day the sheriff had served a
summons and in writing his return he for
got how 10 spell heir" He yelled out 10
his deputy:
Say Henry. how do you spell HERR"
THAT depends SAID Henry in his awful.
egonizing. precise way. What kind of air
you mean. AS you must know there are.
In our language, first and last. three kinds
of heirs, and, until you inform me which
kind OF heir you desire 20 imply"
'Pshaw." interrupted the sheriff. II
mean heir-he!r-I served this summons on
a minor a boy whose father is dead and
who is an heir"
You should remember" Henry. unrut-
fed went on. That there are three sorts
OF heirs in the English language and each
is opposed In meaning and photography TO
the other. There is. II you VIII remember.
AIR. air a fluid. HEIR, air. one who
!nherits. and. ARE. air. the plural Of am"