The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1897-05-15
yoKER's BUDGET,
tests and Yarns by Funny Men a, A.
Press. "
swIMMIN'.


Mamma spies his wrinkled shI,,
Papa plies the hick'ry switches
Sister asks him 'Does it hurta
wHRN HE sLRPT,
81 haven't slept a wink In Ten dsv.
be said. N''h'
'Impossiblel" she replied.
mo" he assured her II slept nlgAa,
KEPT A coon TABLE
Brown; keeps good table, doe, M,
not /" '' 'q'
Robinson' Excellent Solid oak-b,
had It for years" Nv
WHAT ABOUT NO. II
81 am afraid it is all up between i'm.
and the rich widow" '
"Made one of his ridiculous break, ,
presume?"
"Yes. He asked her II he was IN,
only man she ever loved" "
VERY APPROPRIATE.
Willie; That's very appropriate vsa
ding between Ben and Annie.
lille Why
Willie, Easy enough. One will h
Bonnie. fitted and the other Annie.msei
uNEDUCATRD.
Aunt-Well, Ethel, how do YOU m,
your new little brother?
Ethel aged four)-I don't like him 81
all. lie can't even speak English.
vERNAL RAPTURRs.
care you going to make a garden N,
spring, Plank walks"
al suppose so, the neighbors chicken,
seem to be getting my ground readyn
SECONDED THE MOTION.
otis shame" cried the young via
mot a thing in the house fit to eat I'M
going right home 10 papa!"
If you don't mind, dear" said m.
husband reaching for his hat "Il 70
with you"
BEAUTY ANDsTHE BEASTS.
Beauty is only skin deep" said Ma
zebra, with an attempt TO liven up In
gloom of the menagery.
II know" said therhinoceros; " tha.
where come in."
SENSIBLE MAN,
Say, groceryman, will you lend n,
your delivery wagon this afternoon"
"What do you want it for"
"My wife goes shopping this Afternoon
and wants something to bring tue sample
home in"
SEIZED HER OPENING.
you" he said tentatively, 'are d
woman of resources.
True" she answered, "and | hsn
concluded to husband them"
However, it was too late to reach ia
his hat
A HARD STUDENT.
Fond Mother-I hope you are a hMi
student, Reginald
College Student-Hard Why, mothe,
Pm Just like rocks! Pm the best trained
man on the nine.
DIDN'T AFFECT HIM ANY
Croker-No honest man can make Il
living these times.
Corker-Tut, tut, old man DOnl|
borrow other peoples troubles.
UNcoNGENIAL COMPANY,
"Mr5. Chink has hit on a plan to keep
her husband from smoking in the psrOr'
"What did she do?"
"She hung the portraits OF her tlla
former hus bands there"
WHEN THEY TIoKLED HIM.
A teacher was once telling some Ch1
dren the story of the loss of the Whh
Ship, and finished up by telling then
that. after hearing of his sons destA
King Henry never smiled again.
One little girl in the class, on hearing
this, said;
Please, teacher, what did he do Whs
they tickled him"
WANTED THE RECIPE.
Mamma-Here is the babys pictus
Doesn he look sweet?
Papa-Yes, indeed l must 60 sec tAa
photographer at once.
Mamma-What for?
Papa-l want to find out how be CD
baby TO look that way.
IS IT A coINcIDENoE2
ut may be mere coincidence" said b
Ihoughtfully; Il hope that such is ta
case"
whats that" asked the other man
"Why. every time | call on the BID
sons l find the door mat turned SO ha
The Welcome is upside down as ! 80 y
md all right as start for the street."
DOUBTFUL COMPLIMENT
I'm beginning" remarked the lecture
II might say that l have come to 10
conclusion"
The burst of enthusiasm which the at
Hence let loose at this juncture slrua
he lecturer as constituting rather dou0F
ul compliment.
HIS AYoCATIoN5.
GLOW do you spend your time Ensl
fou amt on exhibition" asked the me-
'sted visitor ct the dime museum.
"They sometimes use me, maam'
'licd the living skeleton, ito stir up !"
.nimals with" -,
Good land Don't the animals Civ
you?"
No, ma'am There amt any'lDs
N me to bite"