The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-04-05
M-U-Ds-sMUD.
Written for The Tribune.

Written lOI l ne tribune.
What do those three letters signify to
you? To the tidy housewife they no
doubt cOnjure up visions of dirty boots
and bedraggled carpets. To the ardent
wheelman, a formidable obstacle to a
pleasureable trip into the country The
farmer again, i'm our all-pervading mud
sees an increase of expense i'm conveying
his produce to the city markets, while
the pedestrian is simply appalled, as he
contemplates North Main avenue or some
other prominent and notorious thorough
fare.
Mud is of various kinds, according to
the locality in which it is found and its
consistency is dependent upon variety
OF circumstances such as heat, cold
rain, snow, sewage disposition ana the
action Of the wind. Mud is never attrac-
tive, and wherever found is a thing much
despised, unless ii be Just after you have
been introduced TO hornets nest, when
little soft mud, judiciously applied. will
work wonders in the way of relief.
In spite of its>detestable qualities, how
ever the great majority of men who have
charge of the highways of our land seem
to have entered into a solemn compact
that they will use their best efforts to con-
tnue the sway of King Mud. by refusing
to take adequate steps toward the reduc-
tion of his dominion. Why, / actually
bad road had its good points! This re-
minded me of the old lady who always
defended the charcter of any one she
heard attacked, and when a wager was
made by some one that she would even
ind good word to say for his Satanic
Majesty, upon being approached, she re-
piled: "Well. you must admit he is per-
saVering."
Worcester defines mud as earth or
soil mixed with water; moist, soft earth,
such as Is found at the bottom of rivers
ponds, etc; the slime and ignominIous
matter al the bottom of still water; DIRT"
The first mud road was built by Je-
hovah, being made over the bottom of
the Red Sea, but the same Power that
rolled back the waters into solid walls
ami afterward preserved the clothing of
the lsraelites for forty years intact, also
miraculously enabled them to proceed
dry shod over the sea bottom, (which"
the sacred record informs us, "the Egyp-
tians essaying to do Were drowned" their
chariots becoming mixed in the same
mud that supported the Israelites, and
holding them until engulfed by the re-
turning waters.
Thus We find here no excuse for our
latter day "mudsills" to insist on our
tempting Jehovah to carry us drysrod
over our muddy thoroughfares No,
while He Is able to work miracle in
such an exceptional case. we do not iini
any warrant for believing that such is
the regular rule in the Heavenly economy
Indeed, We find the prophet declaring
that hills and mountains shall be brought
low. valleys exalted, rough places eradi-
Gated, while explicit directions are given
that "straightpaths" roads) shall be iail
out that no one may suffer any discom-
fort or lose his way.
Then. again, the very best material is
used, even gold being the chief paving
material of the Heavenly Jerusalem.
True, this is all in spiritual sense, but
still Is a shining example for us 10 copy
to the extent of our weak ability.
Come to think Of il nowif YOU take
mud in its proper place-which Is general
ly at the bottom of a stream, 1t has its
uses, especially to the antiquarian and
searcher of the secrets OF past ages.
Many relics have been found in the sed-
ment of ancient lake beds, and recently
the mud of the Beresina river-which the
Russians have been deepening by means
of dredges-has brought to public mind
the disastrous retreat of Napoleon i'm lSl2
from Moscow. The first thing queer th1t
was noticed was that the mud was very
black with q peculiar sulphurous smell.
A chemist pronounced it chiefly sunpow-
der. In some places IL was two feet
thick. Presently skulls We're exposed, ana
then entire skeletons of men and horses,
and deeper down arms, cannon and even
tall military hats fairly preserved! The
great shovols We're operating at the point
where nearly 10000 men were over
whelmed, while Napoleon was crossing
the stream in retreat.
From this gruesome topic we turn %
lighter vein. The story Is old, but still
good enough to repeat. At n Liverpool |
restaurant an Engishman was complain |
ing 10 an American of the muddiness of /
the streets of New York.
"Waal," observed the American, 81 dare |
say there may be some mud i'm our streets !
hut IL does seem TO me that i'm the mat |
ter of mud you can give us points every |
time. ! was walking down your Bold |
street this afternoon and / noticed that !
the mud did seem fairly thick. Presently |
! saw a top hat come swimming round |
on the mud. SO | Just give II a poke with |
my stick, when an old gentleman looked |
up-kind Of surprised at my attention.
from underneath. allowed he was |
pretty deep In,
"'Oh, that's nothingr he said; I'm on
top of an omnibusr"
If you want TO know anything further
about King Mud and how TO escape his
domination, just go to hear General Roy
Stone director of road inquiry. United
States government April 10. In the mean
time II not already a member, enroll
yourself In the Lackawanna County Good
Roads league. IT, @, Dunnng,
Solicitor OF Good Roads League,
-- S.