Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1897-12-30
BARON POLLOCK A PUNSTER.
Death of the Judge Recalls Some
of His witty Re-
marks.

From the London Telegraph.
OF the late Baron Pollock it may with
truth be affirmed that, while possessing a
considerable fund of wit, he never posed as
Il humorist. He joked as 1t were. acci-
dentally rather than deliberately. His chi'f
weakness. perhaps. was Il love of puuninS.
hut nothing he said ever LEFT a sting he
common law judges sat at ,iuiIdhall as well
as Westminster will remember that oCca-
sionally the bells OF u neighbOring church
would burst out ringing, sometimes to the
utter confusion of the learned counsel who
happened to lac addressing the court. This
occurring once when Pollock was presiding.
the judge cOmpassionateiy ordered the
ringing 10 stop. rcmdrklug In an aside to
the twelve good men and tru" occupying
the jury box: You know, gentlemen this
is not i court OF a-peal.
1t is related that some years ago Baron
Pollock WAS invited 10 dine AT In" College
II" discovered his umbrella /" hc missing.
only what one might expect he oh
served. THAT ones umbrella should here he
boned." Soon after his elevation To the
bench Pollock presided over the crown
court Mt Manchester assiZ,s. and was list
eninE TO an abstruse Legal argument by
Mr.. HOlker who. as attorney general under
the conservative administration. aftcrward
became Sir John lIolkcr. Suddenly an audi
ors sitting in the well" The judge sianc
ed deprcCating!y at tho disturbers through
his hlack-framed pinee-nez. but without
| avail. Thercupon. i'll sharp voice he said:
''One moment. Mr. Holkcr. please" The
| learned counsel paused. we will proceed
with the case" said his lorIship. when
these gentlemen have finished their cOnvtr-
s'ttion.' Instantly there was a dead silence
in the We'll" and Mr.. Hoiker proceeded
| without further Interruption.
During the trial of an action arising out
| of a tramway accident, the conductor was
| called to prove what he was doing when the
smash happened. The conductor declared
| there was only one passenger inside the
| car, and to collect that fare was only the
work of q second. Then could you collect
| sixty fares in one minute?" demanded the
| iuquisitive cross-eXamining counsel. NO"
replied the witness. even an angel could
not do that" Pollock promptly remarke d,
| For the purposes of this case | 90 not
| think we can 30 beyond ordinary mortals-
| the more 50. indeed. We know that fools
| rush in where angels fear to tread.
At Bury St. Edmund's lately the judge
induced the jury 10 take a lenient view OK
| the misconduct of lad who had the mis-
fortune to md himself in the prisoners
dock. and there was a verdict OF acquit-
| tai. In his emotion the boys father shout
| Ell. May your honor live on the bench till
| you're hundred" "A pious wish" Pol
| if at his side. but one that for the hopes
of the Junior bar had better not be real
| In the course of what is known as a
water case" specimens of the disputed
| fluid were produced in bottles. Those sub
mitted 10y the plaintiff Were positively tur-
Defendant Were absolutely pellucid-witt.
| one exception. and this. il turned oIt. had
| been filled by the solicitors clerk. on
| the bottle being shaken the contents show
| ed thicker than any supplied by the plain
| tiff. There was, naturally an acrimonious
| contest between counsel as TO the admis-
| sion of the unfortunate bottle. but the
| baron restored good humor with the oh
| servation: IF the bottle. instead of having
s,,lo been iilled by a solicitors clerk, had been
| settled by counsel. | dar" say no OBJ
| lection would have been taken"
Not long since It was suggested to the
Ie baron by man much younger than him
| SELF that. having passed the age of three
score Years and ten and spent nearly one
third of his life on the bench. it was time
| Tor him to retire. "Retirei" exclaimed the
| Judge. Why, am as active and vigorous
as as YOU are. viii YOU dance with me-" The
friend begged TO be excused. "'Then will
| YOU box with me?" jestingly asked Pollock
squarinS up in approved fashion. This 50
staggered the friend that he abandoned
ms self-lmpcsed task as hopeless and bea,
a precipitate retreat