Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1897-05-09

Ing of our necks. whose hand but that
of woman can calm refractory vest OF
curb a bouttonniere? And the stranges1
part Of all Is that the pin never SHOWS
that II seems to so In head nrst' anu
that when Il must needs be taken OUT
we must again acknowledge our inieri.
ority and call for that sex which ioros !.
over us. MY expressions OF wonder are
mainly directed TO the everyday pin, sucn
as your baby Is hourly seeking an oppor-
tunIty to swallow, but a volume could
be added on hair-pins, ana wnole
brary on hat-pins Marry woman u you
desire to further investigate the subject,
and I'll risk a corn-cob pipe youH ho'
call me exaggerativc.
The email boy. with ell his idiosyn-
crasies and natural cussedness. Is espe-
cially famous for the many and various
kinds OF things he hides In his pockets.
In fact, the urchin who falls to Ill these
receptacles with miscellaneous assort-
ment OF Junk belongs to the die-youn5-
class. and Is worthy Of mention only IN
Sunday-school books. Apropos TINS SUI
ject, I've been thinking that the male
being never does entirely outgrow TINS
propensity All his life his pockets are
his most treasured possessions. Espe-
cially have / been impressed with this
fact on those occasions when L nave
found myself the fortunate possessor OF
two suits Of clothes, and desired TO snlit
my carcass from one TO the otner. me
actual shifting Itself really isn't SO
troublesome, but the transferring OF my
personal property from one set OF
pockets to the other Is thing tnat re-
quires the closest attention. First OF all
the valuable Waterbury watch which In
a
Derby placed in its new repository. Next
follows the transfer of the key-ring with
its necessary appendicitis, and AFTER
that the knife and lead-pencil. by no
means must the aged and indi5pensaDie
horse chestnut be forgotten. man VINO
carries one Of these on his person
Will be absolutely free from rheumatism,
and may rest assured that he VIII never
die unless. perchance. he be attacked py
dropsy, dyspepsia, consumption, appeh-
dicltls. peritonitis, cholera, yellow-feVer,
angina pectorls, or some other or those
trivial complaints against which the
chestnut does not guarantee protection.
Your handkerchief should not be over
looked when you move from one set OF
clothes to another, nor should you for
get YOUR matchbox, or your pipe, or your
tobacco-bag. or the sticking-plaster
which other people borrow from you'
or the stray collar buttons WhlSh hAs.
be needed at any minute. But ABOVE all
IL you must omit something from the
above schedule. don't let 1t be your
pocket-book. 1T is too late to discover
your mistake when you are on street.
car or when you have coaxed seVerai
GOV friends to take drink with YOU
Tbere "a hardly man worth knowing
who will charge me with exaggeration,
when 1 say that watch, key-ring, KNIFE,
lead-pencl, handkerchief, pipe' 10
bacco-pouch, collar-button, piece Oh
sticking-plaster, matchbox, and pocket
book are absolutely essential to mascu-
line comfort in the course OF a DAY
work. While / do not wish to incur the
wrath of those who have rheumatism cures
for sale. L would also like TO recommend
the horse-chestnut. 1t can't 40 any
harm and your wife will have spasmS OIL
curiosity to know why you use IL. Inc
| absence OF any one of the above arllcies
NAV cause untold inconvenience, and the
| question which suggests itself 10 my
| mind is. How do women get along With
| out these necessaries? How do they
live without eight pockets to every dress.
| The pockets that they do nave are mys,
| teries anyhow, and lead to geographical
regions which no man would dare eA-
plore. 1t appears to me that they are
| built something after the order Oh
| long stocking, but where they go Is
question wouldn't dare ask.
THE IDLE REPORTER.