The sun., 1897-09-04
CORPSE RISES AT A WAKE.
-ur uorRN Ems FLED AND ONE OF
THEM TOLD THE POLICE.
-,.r they Came Back with Policeman
the supposed Dead Wan Gave tho Joke
.r.,, and All Hands Joined In tho wake.
~. tyh,ch the Mourncrs HAD Raised SAn.

ahAIf
,s.sov CIty. Everybody had tho biggest kind
~. tir,c, oven tho corpse, SO his friends say.
Th,rc was plenty to drink and smoke, and n
.u.lI zilver.trimmcd coffin from Xeiger Bros
Undertaking shop at oil Ocean avenue, where
Ton Calhoun worked rs an embalmer, and over
r,it,h he lived. The delegation from the Society
,o- the Prevention OF Cruelty to Animals fairly
ontdii itself in giving the docedent good send.
IN and a reporter learned all about 1t yesterday
AZ the society's headquarters from several men
who had their heads tied up in towels and said
they hadn't been to the wake.
News OF Lon Calhouns death reached tho
HEADQUARTERS on Wednesday night. Whence
4, came nobody knows, but 1t was duly posted
an The bulletin board that "our esteemed. SC,
associate" had passed away after long and
raipf,,l gastric attack, leaving a sorrowinG
,Idow. who would communicate with the So
,i,tv regarding the funeral. On Thursday
norning President Mccarthy OF the society tel.
,nhoned TO the sorrowing widow his condolences
on her husbands death.
"Deadt p said Mrs. Calhoun. Lion nin't dead.
He's down stairs emballuing a man that is"
"you don't say so! exclaimed Mccarthy.
"Tbats 100 bad. We were going to give him q
wake. The boys are taking up collection now
70 bury him
"Thoy d be.ter keep It for somebody that moods
buryinR worse 'han ho ooes. hoh soou luz
long life yet.
well, look here" said Mccarthy. ITS too
had to disappoint the boys. You tell Lon that
he, dead. and that IL he'll get into tho coffin
we'll give him the time Of his life"
There was somo further conversation about
details. Then Mrs. Calhoun went to the head OF
the stairs and called her husband.
R"whos that a. asked Calhoun.
"Your widow. Come up here-I want TO talk
to you"
"Wiiowr said Lon. You don't look very
dead-I mean don't look very dead. What are
you givins u.s. any way r
Somebody told the society folks you were
dead and IL the boss will lend you q casket
there'll be wake in the house, with you for the
corpse. Only don't want you rising in your
CONN IL the mourners make love TO the widow"
That's all right as long as get in at the
finish for the whiskcy." replied Calhoun. "Tu
get the coffin and lay myself out just soon as
Iget through hero"
About the time that the late Lon Calhoun was
peacefully folding his white hands above his
Quie, breast President Mccarthy was giving a
few directions TO Secretary Brown. who thought
that Calhoqn,s entry in the obituary column
Tho boys have collected S43." was Browns
report, 81 and We thought 4 nice Gates Ajar
with horse made of forget-me-nots at the bot
Be more than sl3, and we could use the rest for
the wake"
leave the money with me and go up and condole
with the widow. Tell her the rest OF us will
soon be up TO sit with the corpse, and give her
On his arrival Brown found Mrs. Calhoun in
the deepest Of mourning. immersed in pocket
was sob6ins. At any rate. she haI her face
buried in her handkerchief, and her shoulders
were shaking convulsively. Coincidence is not
q n he
with bitterness. He stumbled oser some words
otsympathy to Mrs. Calhoun, and then, finding
deceased" The late deceased was in a large
around his head. Long and sadly did Brown
gaze into the still face OF his associate This
I" How life.like he looks. sighed Brown. How
peaceful: q How calm: L. Calm as aIasa-a mill
though it sounded fsmil lar enough. ' Ie'' a.
Mira Calhoun emitted a sound that from any
ono other than a sriet-stricken widow would
pave been called snort. and left the room
changed his position. just = little bit ii for or The he
sake OF ease and q creak that sounded loud
enough to waken real dead man was the re-
y and without the slightest effort. With diff.
Guilty he compelled his trembling legs to
AT to the eyes so Iii Hss ss Il Ssols he
Majestic in its stiffness, the form Of his friend
l9y before him. Bpt Browns nerve was shaken.
he wished the other fellows would come. He
wished the widow would return. even though
he couldn't think OF anything 10 say to her ex.
he had dismissed uputtered as inadequate to
tne ,oS OCCASION Anything 70 say would be relief.
.; Besides, the room was close, He felt
quickly H xi,Ass Enai he Il Saahs Fssaso Aea
e!ss The corpse wished 80. too. Presently the
strain became too much for Brown and he
breathet again. At the foot OF the stairs The
poqrner bet thought him that he had left his hat
behind tS Noissiessly he sped upstairs and opened
& ne door The corpse was sitting up in the
."Ahh.h.h!"' shrieked Brown with the fervor
One leap took, him through the door. and as
Ris legs refused 10 carry him down the stairs
widow rushed out, helped him to bis feet. and
hasliy explained the situation. Brown had to
eod his jaws together with both hands to keep
ms teeth frOm chaLfc-ints 80 loudly that he
couldn't hear her. Finally he was prevailed
upon 70 return to the room and satisfy himself
70 Then he offered a valuable suggestion.
r.lhouve hiou.ve got too much coior, son. II Mrs.
CafiaGun Will get some flour I'll whiten you up
a. This was done none too soon. for hardly had
they brushed Calhoun on when tho delegation
arrived. They didn't have the floral Gates;
Aiar. Mccarthy having persuaded them that il
hs G1 fhsre aers s.
In the delegation. All OF them had had some
experience in similar sad affairs. They knew
.he!r duty and they did It. Ono by one they
passed before the coffin and spoke their pieces
the first '''1
We mourn our loss" said the second.
a, one sha!l be taken and another get left" was
ne contribution of the third.
He-he-he was all right son was" STAN
Smered The next man. who was in hard luck tho
nIsh speaker having stolen his thunder.
confidently. '
We shall not look upon his like again."
sroahed President Mccarthy. who came last, in
such broken tones that he made great hit with
Ou reat ot the mourning party.
nehhWnlle the widow and Secretary Brown
SES.M WIN their faces buried In their hands. Nc.
ssaithy shVe companions took seats and looked
ia S.eh other in gloomy silence. while the Pres
,ucnt himself went over 10 the window and
nepI lordly, conyuls!vely, jubilantly. In tho
sfUI.rse sfI.se Or time, the sobs died down and the
sihehce sh became oppressive. Agent Witmore
mn, mo was seated nearest the coffin, felt that he
must rise 10 the occasion.
peated. ' u'"'n' "o TO
N. we mourn our loss. said Agent Mcdonald,
E seCohd man, with great prompti.ude, and
SIo ~ Was Just bes .i4ning ono shall be taken"
tba1M tbne ltInore broke in hastily and interrupted
We sympathize with you, Mrs Calhoun"
In ms kau ln,rn