The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-13
WILL WHITE
BREAKS LOOSE.
Once More, This Time at Zanes-
vile, Ohio.
He Says Cain Was the First
POpulist.
SIGNS OF MILDNESS
In the 'Bumbly Bee" of the
Cottonwood, However,
For He Does Say Some Good
Words For Kansas.

GAINESVILLE, O., Feb. 13.-It was 1920
when the doors were opened for the
Ohio Republican league banquet in Gel
ebration of Lincoln's birthday.
Gov Bushnell presided. On his right
sat Mark Hanna. next to whom was
Senator John NJ. Thurston. To the gov
ernor's left were State President Chas.
F. Leach and National President
WOodmAnsee.
Then Nin order came on either side
Sylvester T. Everett, Maj Charles Dick,
Booker T. Washington, VIM. Allen
w mite, Congressman S. A. Northway
and other guests.
The toastS We're: Presidents address,
Charles F. Leach, POSTMASTER, Govern
or Asa S. Bushnell Abraham Lincoln,
Senator John NJ. Thurston; THE Amer
lean Congress, Hon. Jas. T. McCleary;
ITO the Chairman of the National
League, to be drunk standing:"W
the Matter With Kansas ?'' VIM. Allen
White; Solving the Negro Question in
Washington; THE Nations Verdict"
D. D. Woodmansee; THE Work of the
Last Campaign Charles Dick.
The following is VIM. Allen Whites
toast, Whats the Matter With Kan
sas:'
There is a song which some of you
may have heard, which begins:
20, pototoes they grow small, out in
Kansas,
And they eat them, tops and all, out in
Kansas.
There are 49 stanzas to this ballad,
and the burden of the song is that Kan
sas is about the 33d degree in the lodge
of the Royal Arch Demon. And that
man. after going through the whole siz-
zling inferno is sent to Kansas to get
homesick for Hades. That song con-
tains several important errors.
I'm the first place we do not eat them
tops and ALL out in Kansas. We eat
hon T1yfff oh 1Gf
as you do here in Ohio. In the second
place we do not have to fill our VIZ rs
with rock to keep them from
blowing away; nor do We trim
the claws of Kanses cat fish to
keep them from scra tchin the
bark off the trees in dry weather. Mel
ri so that the grasshoppers may not de-
stroy the titles to the land. These are
popular decisions which hurt Kansas.
And of late a new deluSiOn has spread
through the country to the effect that
the Populists are off the reservation
killing plutocrats out of season and
contrary to law. These things being
prevalent belief make the street car
they see a man from Kansas.
This is unfair Kansas is little
queer at times, but so is Indiana and
Illinois, for that matter. But just be-
cause four or five congressman have
the Iumpy-jaw you should not infer
that grow tails and run wild with
nois began to see things and talk to him
self you gentlemen didn't believe that
the citizens of Chicago all walked back
wards to keep their trousers from bag
ging at the knees. Because IgnatiuS
Donnelly scrambled his brains with the
wheels in his head, no one ever thought
of putting Minnesota in the violent
ward. Because Jones of ArkanSaS-hOld
on It hasn't gone so far yet that a
Kansas man has to defend ArkanSaw in
order to stand up for Kansas We will
have to draw the line somewhere, and
Arkansas is good place to begin.
Il have been invited here to tell you
what is the matter with Kansas, and
have come nearly thousand miles in
the middle of winter, to say that there
is absolutely nothing the matter with
Kansas There has been something the
matter with Kansas good deal the
matter with Kansas. The devil has
been to pay out in Kansas but he has
been paid in one hundred cent dollars.
And that account seems to be closed
The best way to explain to- you what
has been the matter with Kansas is to
recall a story of Uncle Chester Thomas
who used to be the boss in Topeka poll
tics The old man was rarely disturb
ed but one time when the reformers
gave him the fight of his life in Topeka,
he lost his head. That was the cam
paign in which the old man told his CO.
horts to 'chur fer 'em, boys, chur fer
'em but vote agin EN- It was election
day when the old man had been quietly
circulating around the polls, distribut-
ING rewards of merit and increasing the
ner capita, when he suddenly turned
and rushed back to his office where his
friends were gathered, and painted de-
spairingly: Boys, boys, for heavens
sake send some one down to the Fourth
ward: them idiots there have been for
three hours voting just as they please
THAT'S principally what's the matter
with Kansas We haven't been able
until last fall to vote as we pleaSed-as
we - please,-if you prefer the Latin
For six or seven years Kansas has been
under the spell of the demagogues From
1890 to 1894 all parties WED with one
another in putting tommy rot into their
Dlatforms You gentlemen here in Ohio
have doubtless noticed with consterna-
ton from time to time, what fadS, what
fool isms what rank nonsense, have
passed current for Republicanism at
one time or another, out in Kansas
When Jerry Simpson ran for congress
the first time the Republicans in his
district stole his platform bodily. and
then absolVed the Republican niminee
from the duty of abiding by the house
caucus The people couldn't vote as
they pleased. They had to choose the
less violent of two lunaticS. For years
a crowd of fellows dominated the Re
publican party in Kansas, whose motto
was, ''Molasses catches more flies than
vinegar" AS result, the state plat
form was often more of a fly trap than
a declaration of Republican principles.
These gentlemen saw that Kansas was
built on the installment plan, to be paid
for in small monthly payments They
| preached bogus way out of debt, be-
| cause they believed that it was sure
\ way into office. They used to tip-tOe
around among the delegates at conven-
| tions telling them what was the
Smooth thing" to put in the platform