The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1897-07-15
CARL DUNDER's WOES
WHY hls eTATUl or CHRISTOPHER
cotuMDue HAS NO HEAD.

~ lGsttss whas The status was called
Some One Seemed 10 Have . drudge
Against 1.-THE Public Rsassursd That
the Saloon and Museum Are Separate.
like to shpsak 10 dsr public some more
abcudt my new psesness und make eafay-
body interested und happy. Ny saloon
Vhas divided of IN two pieces. One piece
shas for my son Shake und der nloon,
und der other vhas for me und det muse
nm. He vhas entirely separate. II some
Innocent ladies' und shildren like to 90 by
der museum, Shake don't say nottlDgs,
und she vhas all K. o. II some man likes
to 60 by der saloon, 1t vhas all right init
me.
like to shpeak Of Sheorge Washington.
He vhas In my museum In some wax und
clothes und sword In his right hand 1t
vhas right dot eaferypody should see him
und learn Of his greatness und goodness.
II we don't hat any Sheorge Washington,
we don't hat any liberty, und If we don't
hat some liberty we vhas in jail most Of
der time for making troubles. Sheorge
Washington vhas no liar. Maybe he yhas
der biggest kind Of liar II he lif long
enough und see few more politics, but
he died shust In time to escape her. More
ash one t'ousand men hat tried to be like
Shoorge, but she vhas a failure. In my
museum he stands on one foot und waves
dot sword, und he vhas ready to die for his
country but nopody yhas afraid to pull
him by der coattails He vhas good heart
ed und deadt und harmless. II you stand
before him, you feel dot you like to DO
great und good und control der price of
sugar in America.
In dot cage by der right hand of Wash
ington vhas kangaroo. Ho vhas deadt,
und dere Vhas no slump In his legs.
keep him dot some school shildren may
study natural history und know dot kan
CARGO vhas not an eagle.
Dot figure mitout any head on him yhas
once Christopher Columbus. 1t vhas all
right dot der shildren should see him und
know how great he yhas, but one day a
man comes by my museum und looks at
Christopher for q long time und says:
"Who yhas dot bloke nit der bicycle
trousers und swallow tailed ooat2"
q He vhas Christopher Columbus"
What does he dor"
"He finds oudt America"
"Vhell, dot makes me down on him. If
he don't find oudt America vhas born in
Europe und don't hat to work for SO q
day"
lind no hauls Off und knocks der head
off Mr.. Columbus more ash ten feet.
fix it back on und shange der sign to read
"Judas Iscariut" He yhas oil right When
q man comes in und looks him oafef und
says:
"Vhell, vhns down on Judas und
vhas looking all oafer town for him.
Somepody Will get licked in two minutes"
He vhas only wax" told him, but no
says 1t vhas all der same to him, und off
goes dot head again. Once more ! put it
on und shange tho sign to read "Dis Vhas
Shakespeare Ho vhas all right for two
days, when man comes In und looks him
oafer und goes out Poorly soon he comes
bnck nit his wife und says:
Look him all oafer and tell me If you
had seen him before.
~ seen dot same man on der street car
last week" she says.
"Und What does he do?"
He shmilcs und winks at me-"
dot vhus enough" said dor man, und
he gifts Shakespeare sooch an upper cut on
der chin dot his head vhas broke in ten
pieces
l don't put no head on dot man no
more. Some day he yhas doctor Park
hurst" Den make him Daniel Pratt
"Cuptain Kidd" or der Gear Of Russia"
My museum vhas open all der time except
suorduy, When | haf to go und see my
brother, und der public Will be made to
feel at home und no cost. Come one, come
all, und please remember dot has in one
place und my son Shake in der other,
NJ QUAD.