The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-19
STARBEAMS.

A Russian proverb runs: Before
/ going TO war say a prayer; before go
ing to sea say two prayers; before
marrying say three prayers"
A man in Salem. O., who claims to
have the Oldest violin in the world, will
probably make that an excuse for Dor
ing Mr.. Mckinley for an office.
The conjugal record of the Wander
/ bits points strongly to the existence
in that family of what, in the vernacu-
/ lar of the west, would be called ''yel-
low streak"
Custom and the courts continue to
enrich the language. The supreme
court of Iowa has solemnly considered
| the word ''swipe" and officially defined
it as meaning ito steal
There are 81 John Smiths in the new
st. Louis directory, and how they all
keep their mali from getting mixed is
! something of a mystery. The longest
name in the book is Abrenhoesterbaeu-
mer.
The average duration of the reign of
English sovereigns for the last 600
years has been q years, figure which
may be somewhat reduced if Albert
Edward ever gets a whaek at the
! crown.
The Kansas City clergyman who
rates Theosophy and pugilism as pair
of humbugs is likely TO hear not only
from Annie Besant and Mrs. Tingley,
but also from Bob Fitzsimmons, Tom
Sharkey & Co.
The friends and neighbors of an old
and disabled sea captain in Pembroke,
Me. turned in and cut up into stove
1 length" five cords of wood on his sew
entieth birthday, and this deed of
kindness braced the old captain up
more than two bottles of cod liver oil.
Persons who are criticising Mr.. Bal
ley of Texas for his sartorial eccen-
tricities don't seem to make allowance
for the obstacles which rise up in the
path of the man who attempts to wear
a gun and a bowie knife with dress
suit.
The Missouri young woman who said
Go, your liver lovesr' in reciting
'Curfew Shall Not Ring Tonight" did
not make such a terrible mistake after
all. Since a bad liver can hate. why
should not good liver be able to
love?"
1t is pleasant to learn that the Japan
csc women have abandoned the craze
for European and American fashion
able finery and have returned to their
native dress. The latter is classical in
its graceful simplicity, and does away
with the corset. The garments are of
soft and richly colored silks and satins.
and lend an exquisite juvenile contour
to the female figure. From the stand
point of hygiene and comfort they are
far superior to the modern and civil
lied styles"
a party of eight punils-four boys
and four girls-from the high school.
belonging to the class of political
economy, spent an hour or so Satur-
day afternoon in the bucket shop of
Kansas City in an effort to obtain
aE LOT
in grain, provisions and stocks. An old
observer said the less they learned
about 4 - better it would be for
them, and mat they might just as well
visit a faro bank to learn its peculiar
mode o. operations.
Some items for old Giddiboys memo
randCm book:
March advertising for girl to
do typewriting ............$ l 30
March 9-Violets for new type
writer oO
writer ......................... 10 90
March 16-Roses for typewriter. 90
March 2O-Miss Remington's SAL
airy ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. 10 90
March 2O-Candy for wife and
children over Sunday. so
Miss Remington ............... 90
March 26-Lunch with Miss R.. 80
March 27-Daisy's salary -. 20 90
March 2S-Theater and supper
with Daisy at Delmonico's 10 90
March Se-Sealsl1in sacque for
wife 225 90
March SO-Silk dress for wife's
mother 80 90
March 30-Advertising for young
man typewriter INSTRUMENTATION. so
The methods of modern advertise
ment are certainly wonderful. Every
body knows that if the birth of an in
FAINT is announced in a morning paper
that infant or its proud mother is
promptly endowed by different firms
with as much soap and other toilet /
requisites as would keep it spotless for /
q twelvemonth at least. For many I
days the post continues to rain par
cells. and the postman curses upon the I
happy establishment; but this rapture
used to terminate after n month or So /
Now, however. ii seems that il is likely I
to renew itself at intervals. A London /
firm sends out this notice after fit /
lapse Of years: Madam, as your little /
daughters birthday (the sex is always /
carefully noted) approaches, and think |
ing you might require some present for !
her in commemOration of the event,
we inclose a catalogue of our toys"
The document concludes by wishing
her many happy returns of the day"
What maternal heart could resist such !
tender solicitude? But this is only the
beginning. Another firm Will no doubt
shortly go one better and send birth
day presents instead of birthday