Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-08-02
AT THE NORTH POLE.

I
earth's north pole shouting Eureka"
and feeling very much superior to the
rest of mankind. And even though
! his achievements be of no practical
value to commerce or science, he will
| be able to claim that he has stood up
on the strangest spot yet discovered
/ by man-provided the south pole has
not been discovered first, which is
highly improbable.
1t is the slowest place on the face
of the earth, that north pole always
barring its twin brother; the south
pole), not excepting even Philadel-
phia. At any other place one is whirl-
ing around the axis of the earth once
/ in every "a hours at rate that varies
with his distance from the equator. In
fact. when one considers that at the
EQUATOR this rate is about 1000 miles
an hour and that the rate decreases
very slowly until the arctic circle is
reached, one is apt to hold ones
breath when one considers the rate
of an ordinary mans trip through
space. Combine this circular veloci-
ty of human being with concurrent
velocity around the sun, and is it any
wonder tnat so many men are observ-
ed to stagger on the street? At any
rate, the slow going Philadelphia is
travelling many hundreds of miles per
hour faster than the man who stands
upon the north pole.
Our discoverer will find a fiat at the
north pole prepared for his occupan-
cy It is not fat of the Harlem va
riety, but an actual level, so very
level that it will seem concave. There
will be no flying off at a tangent for
the hot-headed man at the pole, for
the tangent will coincide with the sur
face of the earth for quite distance
in that locality.
All this is due to the spheroidal
shape Of the earth. AS the school
books say, cit is somewhat fattened
at the poles" For this same reason
the explorer will be nearer to the
center of the earth than any other
man that ever existed, and likewise
further away from the equator and
the south pole.
Explorers are queer men, and 1T IS
lust possible that our successful dis
coverer will wish to build house at
the north pole and live there. 1t will
be a queer house, for no matter how
he builds it every window in it will be
a south window This will be con-
venient, as in a cold climate south
windows are much preferable to north
ones.
The calendar that hangs over his
desk will in itself be a curiosity, for 1t
will be devoid of weeks and months,
and will show but one day for the en-
tire year-one day and one night. This
day will be a long legal holiday, too,
for it will be New Years day all the
time
But as the original New Years day
was a Sunday, every day is Sunday
up there also (tbe only respect in
which the north pole resembles
heaven). AS consequence he will
never be able to celebrate his New
Year with wassail and good cheer, for
there will be no Monday or Saturday
to substitute for the Sunday it falls
on.
But his clock will be a stranger af-
fair than his calendar, for no matter
whether it is fast or slow it will al
ways be right, and no matter how
correct it may be it will always be
wrong. On every different meridian
there is different time, and as all
the meridians meet at the pole the
correct time will always be any time
you may choose within "A hours.
AS it is with his time, so it will be
with his longitude. He can claim any
longitude he wishes. He can calmly
say to visitor: "My longitude is the
same as that of London, and also the
same as that of New York; yet the
longtitudes of London and New York
are not the same, and [ am not a liar
In fact, he will have ia great deal Of
latitude in his longitude, but little in
his latitude. That will be all his own,
900 north.
Every breeze that blows will to him
be south breeze, and every side of
his house will face south. He can
start for any point on the face of the
earth and reach it by travelling due
south. For him there will be no north
no east, no west. These terms will
not in that latitude even fulfill the
conditions required by the definitions
in the dictionary.
None of the ordinary Instruments