St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1897-02-26
This and That.

This and That.
A gentleman saw the following adver-
tisement in a paper: 1.-THE Road to
Wealth. Send twelve stamps to"
The gentleman sent twelve stamps, and
in return for his outlay received minute
instructions how to get to the Bank OF
England from any part OF London.-[ Tit
Bits.
Hoods Pills cure liver ills, billousness,
Indigestion, headache. A pleasant laxa-
tive. All druggists.
There lots o. min, said Mr.. Rafferty,,
"thot attracts CRED deal av attention
widout much thot's substantial to show
fur it." "Thrue fur yez," replied Mr.
Dolan; "the lightest man runs up the
ladder fastest. But tit do be the wan that
brings a hod O. bricks wild i'm that rally
counts. ~ London Figaro.
One minute is all the time necessary to
decide from personal experience that One
Minute Cough Cure does what its name
implies. Boyntou & Eastman.
Legal Precocity.-A farmers son up in
the country conceived desire to shine as
a member of the legal profession and
undertook clerkship in the office of the
village pettifogger at nothing week.
At the end OF the first days study the
young man returned home. "Well, lobe,
how dyer like the law" was the first
paternal inquiry. "Tain't what it's
cracked up to be-" replied Tobe. Sorry
learnt it, Harlem Life.
Torturing, itching, scay skin eruptions,
burns and scalds are soothed at once and
promptly healed by DeWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve, the best known cure for piles.
Boynton & Eastman.
Shell want to get a pint of your best
enamel"
Clerk-"Yes, madam. Face or bicycle ?"
: Puck.
Don't allow the lungs to be impaired
by the continuous irritation OF cough
1t is easier to prevent consumption than
to cure it, One Minute Cough Cure taken
early will ward off any tallung trouble
Boynton & Eastman.
Georgie-"I heard mother tell father
the other day she'd found out where the
shoe punched wonder what she meant"
Dickie-"I dunno but if she'd said she'd
found out where the slipper stung I'd
have knowed. VI London Figaro.
1t is surprising what "wee bit of a
thing can accomplish. Sick headache,
constipation, dyspepsia, sour stomach,
dizziness, are quickly banished by De-
Wits Little Early Risers. Small pill
Safe pill. Best pill. Boynton & East
man
Dashaway- Hello, Uncle Jasper,
haven't seen you for a long time" Tjnclt
Jasper NO, sab. De fac is, Use Sc
shabby dat kinder hate t pear 'for'
Spectacle folks Dashaway - well
now, uncle, if | should offer you the
choice between good glass Of whiskey
and pair OF trousers I've got up stairs
which would you take ?" Uncle Jasper
Scratching his head)-"Well, boss, dat:
a powerful hard nut to crack. But
spec if had dat glass o whiskey frs
I'd be dat good could elocute yo' int
givin' me dat pair of pants, sab. - Har
lem Life
If you have ever seen a child in TIL
agony of Group, YOU can appreciate TIL
gratitude OF the mothers VINO know tina
One Minute Cough Cure relieves thei
little ones as quickly asst is administered
Many homes in this city are never with
out it, Boynton & Eastman
Society Editor. "Mr. Willis tells M
that his family will spend the summer il
the mountains and his wife saws they
will go to the seashore. Would bette
defer mentioning the matter until | &c
more definite information ~ Managing
Editor: Il don't see what more dehnit
information you want. She told yol
they were going to the seashore, didn'
she "
E. E. Turner OF Compton, Mo-, write
us that after suffering from piles for sew
entcen wears, he completely cured then
by using three boxes of DeWitt's Witcl
Hazel Salve 1t cures eczema and sever
skin diseases. Boynton & Eastman.
800 you really enjoy shooting?"
"Whv, yes, of course" said the dea
girl. who had lately bought rifle and
lovely pair OF bloomers. Every time
manage to kill rabbit or poor littl
bird, have just the oveliest cry imagiu
able. VI indianapolis Journal.
They are so small that the most sens
tive persons take them, they are so effeS
tive that the most obstinate cases c
constipation, headache and torpid live
yield to them. That is why Dewitt
Little Early Risers are known as the ia
nous little pills. Boynton & Eastman
Funeral Director Ito gentleman enter
ing the door)-Ar you one of the mourn
ers, sir?"
Gentleman-Yes he owed me $780,
Boston Transcript.
Many cases of Grippe" have latel
been cured by One Minute Cough Cur'
This preparation seems especially adapte
} to the cure OF this disease. Itacts quick
thus preventing serious complication
and bad effects in which this disease ofte
leaves the patient. Boynton& Eastman
Mrs. Cloverseed (from the courtry)-
as this here ladies watn room
Station Master-"Yes, madam"
Mrs. loverseed-"Well kin you tell II
r what my weight is?" -[Philadelphi
q Record.