davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
GRAND DUKE GIVEN a LESSON.
seraius Comes between Lovers and
Is Snmhbed by Yellow Officers.

Is Snubbed by Fellow Officers.
The officers Of the regiment of hus-
sars Of the guard at 81. Petersburg gave
their captain, Grand Duke Sergius, a
very severe lesson he other day. There
exists a very strict rule among the
crack regiments of the guard of most
European armies forbidding the Off
GERS TO flirt with the wives or sweet
hearts of comrades in the same regi-
meut THIS rule was ruthlessIy yio-
lated a short time ago by the grand
duke in the case of Miss Douryano, a
very prettt girl. engaged To be married
to Count Osten Sacken. one of his fell
low-ofiicers. Enamored of her charms
and captivated by her fascination of
manner. the grand duke began TO lavish
all sorts of fiattering attentions upon
her, and in vulgar parlance TO make
love TO her. which she. prompted by
foolish vanity, reciprocated by com
meucing a Irritation with mm.
The count laid the case before the
officers. and. despite the grand dukes
royal blood. it was unanimously de
cided to send him to Coventry" All
intercourse with him. save that of an
official character, was therefore com
pletely severed, so much so that when
he appeared at mess no one spoke "a
him or replied to his remarks Much
disguised. and finding the situation in
tolerable. the prince complained to his
father, who laid the matter before the
car, asking at the same time that the
officers should be dismissed This the
I ear would not hear of doing, and, being
of opinion that his young cousin had
/ only got what ne richly deserved trans
ferred him to another regiment. The
counts marriage has been broken of
and Miss Douryano, finding herself
much talked OF in st. Petersburg So
ciety. has sought refuge abroad-Lon-
/ don Modern Society.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
GOOD LAND MEASURE.
This Handy Contrivnnce May he Used
nv One Person.

When measuring land it is sometimes
necessary or desirable to do the work
more accurately than it can be done by
pacing. The accompanying cut, from
the Farm and Fireside, shows a land
measure which can be used by one per-
son to better advantage than a chain or
rope by two. The wheel measures just
sH feet, or half rod in circumference,
and is made of one-inch band iron or of
barrel-hoops. The spokes are cross of
light wood an inch square, halyed to-
gether with a piece of half-inch siding
nailed on each side over the joints.
These act as washers and make the
wheel run more smoothly. To keep the
spokes in place nails are driven into
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
THE MYSTERIOUS PORTRAIT.

%, 1911. was for his benefit. 1t was
looked forward to as a great event. and
the social life of the Old Dominion was
enlivened with expectation. 1t was an
nounced that the English custom of
presenting pantomimes at Iuletide
would be followed by the presentation
of a new piece called Raymond and
Agnes; or. the Bleeding Nun Ii was
further announced on the bills that it
We I'D he the last performance of he
season.
There was a grand thTong in the
Richmond. theater when the curtain
went up that evening. The governor
/, Virginia was there, with his official
staff There were old-tiue gentlemen
from the prosperous plantations of the
state. statesmen 4, members IF the bench
and bar, family parties. of husbands,
wives and children, bevies o. maidens,
the loveliest of girls, aud the most
stately of ma irons. silked, satined and
bejeweled. There were successful
tradesmen, merchants, seafaring ,Sen
and importers. In the rear section, re
served for them, were poor whites"
and negroes, also present 10 enjoy the
play The audience filed the theater
20 overlooking. and there were very
nearly 900 people in the assembly. For
that time and place il was a great au-
dience; the greatest that had ever as
sembIed in any city in the south.
In those days chandeliers were made
with lamps, instead of gas or electric
ity. as we have them now. At the be
ginning If the second act boy on the
stage pui ed up into the flies overhead
a chandelier, one lamp in which was
stu burning. The flame iguited one OF
of the strips Of painted canvas. That
was the beginning Of the awful ending
OF that gay evening.
There was a cry OF fire" when the
little flame was first seen, aud the peo-
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
SHE WANTED SNAKES.
The Regulation Kind That Are Seen
in DeIirium Tremens.

do you keep snakes" she asked, as she
peered through her glasses at the parrots
and Guinea pigs in the bird store.
Il have ella monster and some chame-
Icons" said the bird man.
Il don't think they would answer. You
see what | want is a regular snake, one OF
the long field kind that are not poisonous.
may as well tell YOU that my husband has
taken to drinking and | want the snake to
put in his boots
IF | were you, said the man, I'D wait
and it he keeps on drinking he II see snakes
anyhow
mo. he won't. and he wouldn't care if he
did if they weren't real. But If he sees n
live snake he'll quit. and I'm going to try 1t
on. Couldn't YOU get me some:
'Iesm, | can I'LL an order. It you ca J
around tomorrow YOU can get the snakes,
and the man took down the address Of his
customer.
Its test case" he said, as the woman
went out, land | feel sort OF curious TO know
how it will turn out. My idea is that the
husband will he so mad when he finds the
snakes in his boots that he'll 60 out and get
drunk as a billed owl, but maybe it will
work the other way-wel u hope 1t will. ="
Then he sent his boy out to hunt for
snakes in the hedges and bitches OF the praI-
rie.-Chlcago Times Herald
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

An English general and his wife resi-
dert in Ireiani were constantly pes
tered 10y a beggar woman to whom they
had been very charitable. One morn
ing ut the usual hour when the lady
was getting into her carriage the old
woman appeared and began:
"Agh. my lady, success to yer lady
ship. and success % YOUR honor's hon
or this morning. Of all the days of the
year; for. sure. didn't I drame last
night that Yer ladyship gave me pound
of tay and yer honor gave me pound Of
tobacco"
But. my good woman" said the gen
ersl. do you not know that dreams
always so by the rule Of contrary -
DO they so. phase yer honor?" re-
Joined the old woman. Then il must
lie yer honor that will give me the tay
and her ladyship tha; viii give me the
tobacco. - if-Bits.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
MONUMENTAL CHURCH.
History, Romance and Mystery
Cluster Around It.
The Most Interesting building fra
Richmond, WA Picture That
Recalls the Doubts About
booths DEATH
.sreeLaI Richmond VA Le.ter.l

The Monumental church at Rich
mond, has not only wonderful history.
but there is d romance concerning one
of its priests which viii live forever in
local history. Writers in the future
will undoubtedly weave web of weird
doubt concerning the identity of the
priest. and probably the legend will
form the foundation for myths; out of
which the unbridled fancy of poets may
develope stanzas as peculiar and won
derful as those which trickeled from
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
GOOD LAND MEASURE.

the ends through punched holes in the
hoop. A quarter-inch hole in the cen
ter to receive the bolt completes the
wheel.
The fork is also made of sticks like
the spokes, with short piece for a
handle nailed between. This latter
should be a little wider than the hoop
and rounded off at the end.
As the revolutions of the wheel have
to be counted. it is handy to have one
of the spokes plainly marked. Paint or
string tied around it will do this. II
smaller divisions than half rods are de-
sired, the spokes indicate eighths of q
rod
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
.swift wnter mrs. nriac.

Miss Gussie Lamorc. formerly of Juneau,
has made the most desirable marriage, from
a pecuniary point of view. II is a fact that
Swift Water Bill was s. smitten with her
charms that he called on Miss Lahore the
dav of her arrival lie lyooed her with 500.
coo of gold dUst I'm a coal-oii can. and the
next day she became Mrs Swift Water
Bill The man. whose real name Is not
known to any Of the Mckay party. came up
the klondike early in the rush. lie did not
have a dollar or enough grub for a square
the richest claims, and Is now a millionaire
and a bridegroom His claim is I3 Eldorado
-Alaska Cor Chicago Chronicle
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

the bin or bins. Put a slide at the bot
tom To be able to measure out vari-
Gus quantities have slides arranged at
different distances above the bottom,
the space between each one and the
bottom slide holding quarts, a peck,
half bushel, bushel, etc, as desired. One
slide will answer for all the openings
above the lower one. 4 bit of leather
over the slots inside will keep the grain
from coming out Of the open slots. This
device will be found a very great con-
yenience and labor saver.-Orange Judd
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
WORKED THE PROMOTERS.
low scheme for "a Mexican Monte
Carlo Fell Through.


when we southern fellows tackle
anv enterprise, it's never Of the tim
VII stle order" 1t was a citizen of Ala.
bana doing the talking. and lie pro-
cceded to clinch his assertion by illus
trations I'VE may not take to trades,
small farming or picayune business of
any kind, but we develop railroads,
put money into syndicates, open up
great mining districts and attack for
tune on the wholesale plan. We have
the ways of the English in this respect.
THE biggest thing | ever had on tap
was when | first realized that it was
necessary for me TO go out and do some
thing for myself. Before | came face
to face with this emergency ! had been
abroad and was impressed with the way
they must make money at Monte Carlo.
1t was mathematicaily sure thing and
plenty Of IT.
After / had interested two friends
we all went to Mexico, and by lavish
promises succeeded in getting a fran
chise from the government, and We're
TO conduct a mammoth gambling insti-
tuition under its protection. Not the
least promising feature was lottery,
and there were to be all the other al
lurements that attract the devotees of
chance.
1T was no trouble 10 interest all the
capital we wanted. Men of the east
advanced the money with the one pro-
viso that they should not appear in the
transaction. We imported some Of the
wisest gamblers of the west. and, of
course. they went through their PAGES,
lust to show what they could do when
the vast enterprise became active. One
night we three proprietors took hand
to familiarize ourselves with the sports.
Bv sunrise the gamblers had every dol
lar that was to GO into our Monte Carlo,
and we put in five years working in
silye- mine to reimburse our hackers.
We have the franchise yet."-Detroit
Free Press
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

There is a powder to be shaken into the
shoes called Allen Foot Ease, invented by
Allen s. OImsted. Leroy. y. T.. which
druggists and shoe dealers say IS the best
thing they have ever sold TO cure swollen,
burning and tender or aching feet. Some
dealers claim that it makes tight or new
shoes feel easy. Il certainly will cure coTns
and buuions and relieve instantly sweating
hot or smarting feet. Il costs only quar-
ter. and the inventor viii send sample
tree to any address.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

The Grand Prairie of Arkansas-lying OF
both sides of the Little Rock & Memphis Il
r.. and extending along its tracks i3r mlI %
offers special inducements To homcscck
ELS. The best p1sturaEe, the rlehet cerca
lands and finest farming country ia the New
South. This Vast Tract OF Land nov
thrown open to settlers. Come and buy
while You have the chance to make YOU
own selection. For an, information, cal
on, or address. Rudolph Fink General Man
ager Little Rock, Ark, W. II Morrison
Gen. Frt. & Tiki Agt.. Litt'a Rock, Ark.
Little Rock & Memnhis Rai.rnad
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

\ good many Of the stories that are
told about the choice OF curious texts
by clergymen center upon the desire
Of the preacher 10 make a personal
score against some member Of his con-
yre-ation. Thus il is told Of DR.. WI
hanson. who was vicar at Moulton, Lin
colushire. that. having a quarrel with
a parishioner named Hardy. be chose
for his text. There is no fool like the
foolhardy," accompanying his an
nouncement Of with such an en-
1hasis and look as gave everybody "a
see his meaning. -NNestminster Gazette.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

U-pon the stomach and bowels are pcrpe-
trated by multitudes OF injudicious people
who. upon experiencing the annoyance OF
nstpation in a slight degree, inhltrate
their bowels with drcnchlng eyaCuants,
which enfeebe the intestinal membrane to
a serious extent, sometimes, even, super
inducing dysentery or piles. I!ostettcr $
Stomach Bitters Is the true succeddUeum for
these nostrums since II Is al once IHvI-otat-
ing. gentle and efiectual. 1t also banIshea
dyspepsia. maiariai complaints, rheumatism
and I-,dBpr froYhlas
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
Up.ettrnE the Calendar.

His Better Half-This is a pretty sort
OF life you are leading.
"Oh. shut up"
''-~he day before yesterday YOU dioa't
core home until yesterday. yesterday
on came home to-day and to-day. II
hadn't come 10 fetch You. you wouldn't
have come home until .o-morFow."-
journal puur Hire,
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
How 10 Eaten DRY Cow.

The most good we ever got out Of
pumpkins was to take a dry COW we
wanted TO fat, tie her in the barn and
give her all she would eat and she would
seem to fat very fast. Then sell her TO
the meat man; don't kill her yourself.
Our method of feeding western feeds
IS to purchase that kind that will, with
the kind we have, bring the ration up
to one of protein 10 four of carbohy-
drates, and that is generally largely
cotton seed with some shorts.-R w.
Ellis, in Farm News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

"Why. Deasley, you're grossly intoxi-
Gated"
II know il. Coin nup 10 Alashka."
whats Alaska got TO do with your
getting drunk"
"Whisky's dollar a glass in Alaska.
Tn irwin to get fulfill fore CO.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Aunt ", ry-I hope you did the agree
able thir when Mr.. Sweetser inflated
your tire.
Mabel-Yes, auntie, and the proper
thing, kiss for a blow, you know
Boston Transcript.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
Chcnn Lie snrinr

will--The life saver has a thankless
task.
Job-Why, ! saw 4 man offer him a
dollar yesterday for saving his life!
Bill-perhaps that was all he thought
II was ENTHUSIASTICALLY Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
Not of His own.

pitcher seems to have troubles Of his
own"
81 guess you don't know Pitcher"
"Why not?"
"He'd have 'em in his wife's name
Chicago Journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
LABOR-SAVING DEVICE.
How TO Build Combined Grain Chute
rud NIPHSurPr.

Where the grain is stored above the
cattle or horse stable it can be brought
down to the first floor by chute run
uing directly down from the bottom of
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
Rubbed IL In.

81 told her there were plenty Of other
| fish in the sea when she refused 70 marry
me
What did she saw"
That they won't all bite at clam bait So
Philadelphia North American.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

"And you say, said the Sympathetic Per.
son, looking down from the elevation of the
doorstep upon the latest applicant for sub
urban charity, chat you have honestly
done your best to find employment
81 have, madam
"You have regular VOCATION
81 was formerly an expressman."
In what city,
In Boston"
But, surely, at this season Of the year
YOU ought to find work enough as an ex-
pressman IN a large city like Boston
Madam, YOU do not know Boston. You
have heard of the Bacchante: / es. Then
it Is only necessary 10 tell you that ! am one
Of the expressmen who carried her TO the
station
"But | do not see
"The fact became generally known,
madam. From that moment ] have ceased
to be respectable. There Is no one IN Bos
ton who will now employ me. Boston
Budget.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
nfnrr Terrible

Hewitt-My wife was looking for a dry
goods store yesterday aad by mistake she
walked into a saloon ncXt door
.iewett That was terrible
Yes, she found me inside IN. Y.
Truth
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Piso's Cure cured me Of a Throat and
Cady, Huntington. Ind, Nov T., 1924.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Don't your neighbors smash your windows
when you sing Of an evening" said Gilhooly
to a vocalist
"They don't do that because my singing
is bad on the contrary, they smash my win
dows so they can hear better. -Tammany
Times
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

my life. l feel like a new person, per-
fectly strong. ! give the Compound
to several of my friends who are using
it with like results. 1t has cured me
Of several female diseases. would not
DO without Mrs. Pinkham's remedies
for anything. There IS no need of SO
much female suffering. Her remedies
are a sure cure. NJ Is. ELLA KRINER,
Knightstown, Henry Co, Ind.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

the gifted pen of Edgar Allen Poe.
One thing is certain, and that is that
the picture of Rev. DIR. Armstrong and
the picture of John Wilkes Booth are
so much alike that every observer will
declare that they are not resemblances,
nor likenesses, but counterparts.
The Monumental church manifests
many strange vagaries of construction.
1t stands in a quiet old churchyard
fronting on Broad street, upon the
slope of hill which Was at one time the
center and circumference of official and
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

"What Is the age Of chivalry Aun. Pencil
opes' Those good old times when men
fell in love with women over forty. Tit
Bits
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

When a woman has more than she can
hold in her hand she puts it in her mouth.
Washington Democrat
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Fits stopped free and permanently cured
No fits after first days Use of DIR. Kline,
Great Nerve Restorer. Free s. trial bottle &
treatise Dr. Kline, 933 Arch st, Phiia., Pa
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

A Natural Inference Did you hear what
Whimpetons little boy said when they
it, He sand There, Mamma has been
gettin bargains again '-TitB Bits
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Boarding School Teacher - "And now,
Edith, tell me the plural Of baby" Edith
promptly -"Twins. Tit Bits.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Aunt-"Weii. Bobby. what DO you want
to be when ecu grow up Bobby lsuffer-
ing from parental discipline An orphan
Tit Bits
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16
MRS. KRINER'S LETTER
About Change of Life.

81 suffered for eight years and could
find no permanent reli + until one year
ago. My trouble was Change of Life.
l tried Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, and relief came almost i'm
mediately. Ihave taken two bottles of
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-09-16

Take Laxative Bromo Quiniue Tablets Al
druggists refund money If 1t faIIsto cure. 25c
Daily camera., 1897-11-17
The silver Gar,

There are fishes comparatively com
mon that it is almost impossible to keep
alive in captivity, or even to make cap
tive without injury. Among these is the
silver gar. This fish is found in con-
siderable numbers in these waters in
summer; in southern waters it is com
mon. It attains length of two feet, is
extremely slender and spindling in
form. and its head and jaws are pretty
nearly q quarter of its length, the jaws
taperinx almost to a point. 1t is ha-
BILE when captured to do injury in the
net either to the tip of the long jaws or
to some part of it's slender body. 1t is
accustomed to swimming near the sur
face, in well-aerated water. Silver gar
taken in Gravesend bay, though handled
with the greatest Of care, have died be-
fore they could be got to the aquarium
in this city. The silver gar is very diff
ferent from the hardy, bony gar, OF
which there are several specimens now
at the aquarium.-N. Y. Sun.
Daily camera., 1897-11-17
MUSIC AS SHIP FOUNDERED.
Deeds of HerOism in the Wreck of tn e
TuSmanIE, OF Mahai Peninsula.

To the Lrief announcement from Aus
tralia of the I--cck Of the steamer Tas-
mania with heavy loss of life, mail ad-
vices from New Zealand add stirring
particulars.
When the steamer left Auckland on
July rs she had on board 35 saloon and
33 steeTaGe passengers, including a
number booked through from Sydney
The place where the vessel was lost is
off the extreme northern point of the
Mahai peninsula, between Osborne and
Napier, where fat rocks, awash al high
tide, extend seaward a mile from the
shore. In dirty weather and on a dark
night the steamer, in charge of the
third officer, ran nearer into land than
was consistent with safety. The cap
tain, aroused too late, was unable to
avert the danger, and the vessel struck
even as the order was given to bring
her head out to sea.
1t is satisfactory to know that all on
board, passengers and crew, exhibited
courage and common sense. There was
no sign of panic, and it was apparently
with good intent, though in apparent
bravado, that one man set himself to
play the piano in order to keep up the
women's spirits. The boats were got
out quickly and the transfer, despite
heavy sea, made without much diff
Guilty. Two hours after striking the
steamer went down, bows first, and the
boats made the best of their way to
shore.
The loss of life occurred in landing.
The larger boats, containing nearly all
the passengers, came through safely.
but the dingy, in which were eight men.
turned turtle il the surf and two of the
occupants were drowned. The chief
stewards boat is also supposed to have
capsized, and it is feared that its occu-
pants are drowned. Six bodies have
been washed ashore and the loss of life
altogether is put at 13, including two
men who perished in an attempt to
rescue
An old Maori saw the stewards boat
trying to effect a landing at Bow Har-
Dor in very heavy surf. They ap-
peared to have only one oar pulling and
steer oar. The boat capsized in the
surf, and every man swan to the beach
When they touched bottom, however,
they were swept back. Four hung to
the keel of the boat, but were washed
off. McNellie, who was the only seaman
in the carpenters boat. acted very
bravely. When the others became ex-
hausted he stuck to the oars, and, sin
gle-handed. brought the dingy within
two chains of the shore, when it cap
sized, and he was dashed on the rocks
and killed.-San Francisco Chronicle.