davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
ENGLISHMEN At THE THEATER,

English Women Arc the Worst
Dressed Women in the World.
Lillian Bell, who is writing from Lon
don to the Ladies' Home Journal, gives
some remarkably interesting descrip-
tons of the Britishers. Here, for in
stance, is the way she pictures an audi
ence at a London theater: THE play
was most amusing. yet my sister and
I couldn't help watching the audience.
Such a bored-looking set, the women
With frizzled hair held down by in
visible nets, ,ningling with their eye
brows and done hideously in the back.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

No Secret.
How do you keep your cat
So sleek and fat?
why, that's the least Of labors.
We only have to keep
Him here to sleep,
He boards round with the neighbors."
Chicago Tribune.
A Bleak Prospect.
Bill Collector (authoritatively) Il
wish to see Mr.. Neverpay Immediately.
Shrewd Servant-You can't see him
now. He's gone to bed, so we can wash
his fannels.-N. Y. Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Early American History.

"A door," said Aaron Burr, lis not
door when it is ajar."
"There are many points to that joke"
was the comment Of Alexander Hannil-
ton, as he slipped his port, because it is
chestnut, Burr .
The duel followed. -, Indianapolis
Journal. -. -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

-Convicts In the penitentiary At
Boise, Idaho, are permitted to play base
ball on Saturday afternoons. They have
organized two teams, and their playing
Is considered quite clever.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Well Prescrved.

Bell-Don't you think Betsy is we'll
preserved woman?
Beulah-Yes, indeed; she looks Just
as ugly as she ever did.-Yonkers
Statesman. 4.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
BETTING.

Diner-This pumpkin pie is abomln-
ally cold, waiter.
Waiter-Yessuh; de frost is on de
pum'kin dis time of yeah, TO- suah.-
Cincinnati Commercial.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Julius Ceasar,s job.

what do you know of Julius Caesar?"
was question at a recent school ex-
animation.
HE wrote elementary Latin works
for the lower FORMS" was the written
reply.-Household World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Why Pete Got or.

Vigilant-Jedge, this makes tn fifth
time tn blamed rope has broke.
Judge-Wa]l, let him go. This har
community can't afford t. waste any
more valuable hemp on sech wuthless
cuss es Pete.-N. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Impatient.

He-1 told your father that we ex-
pected to be married next month, and he
was wild.
She-What did he say?
He-He wanted to know why we
couldn't make it next week.-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
In Glover.

Rev. DR.. Primrose-You say if you had
a good suit of clothes you would be able
to make living?
Weary Raggles-Yes, sir. Den dey
wudn't chase me away from de free
lunch,-N. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
His Natural Protector.

II never let my husband go to a
church bazar without me-"
"Why not?"
because those other women would
sell him every useless and expensive
thing in the place. Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Not a Great LOsu,


"You didn't run after that thief that
snatchcd your watch
"No; if he can make the old thing
keep time he's welcome to it."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

"Gentlemen,S quan Creek has had he,
boom and got over it. We will now
bury the dead and attend to the
wounded and let business resume its
usual channels"
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Unsafe.

U680fe.
First Nurse-I'm afraid can't come
with you tomorrow. ..
Second Nurse-Why not?
swell. l don't like to leave the baby
with its MOTHER Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

A Good Recommendation.
Mother-Do you think Mr.. Harvey is
nice young man?
Beatrice-Why, yes, mamma. He's
been engaged to six of the SWEETEST girls
in the city.-Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
How 1t Happened.

Mira. Potter-What were poor Mr..
Dunaway's, last words? go. .;z.I ::
DR.. Potter-He didn't have any. His
wife was with him.--Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
The Only War to Learn.

"How did you learn to skater" little
boy was, asked. .--..-f-
"Oh," was the innocent but signifi-
cant answer, 'by getting up every time
l fell down."-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
A Tram ans Excuse.

"Would you work if you had a
chance?"
Madam, it is against my principles to
have anything to do with games Of
chance."-N. Y. Truth,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Not to BE Trusted.

"That man Nibley isn't to be trusted.
He'd take advantage Of you quicker
than q wink if he saw a chance to do
So"
"How do you know that?"
II overheard him and his wife in an
argument last night, and when he saw
that she was getting ahead of him be
yelled: "Look out! There's mouse!' "
Cleveland Leader.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Glad Relief

Critic-Where did you get the idea
OF that .story7
Author Out of my head.
Critic-Gracious, how glad you must
be that its out.-Philadelphia Cali.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
A Fadfnx Imnres.to,.

what was that man to whom you
bowed just now?" .
II can't remember what his name is,
but it seems to me used to be engaged
to im."-Chicago Record.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
BLIND LOVE.

Daughter-Papa, did you know NAM
ma long before you married her?
Papa-No, didn't know her until
long after we were married.-Up-to-
Date,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Her Loss Was His Gain.

-Bullett-Lambely made $4,000 by a
single transaction in oil yesterday.
Bearett-1s it possible? How did he
manage it?
Bullett-A rich aunt of his tried to
start q fire with can of it.-Chicago
News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Exchange of Commitments.

I ExchanGe OF Compliments.
He-I think you never looked SO beaal-
tiful before as you do tonight.
She-And l think that you never be-
fore displayed such discriminating
| taste.-Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
They Deserve 1t.

married men," observed the philoso-
pher, live longer than single Ones"
well, If they. d." answered the sad
eyed individual, lit serves them right"
IN. Y. World.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

"What makes them refer to race
horses as flyers Charley?" inquired
young Mrs. Torkins.
And after profound contemplation
her husband answered: II don't know
unless it's because riches have WINGS"
Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
A Sururfse to Her

A Surprise to Her.
He-I have had but one idea since we
met few short weeks ago.
She-I must give you credit for great
er mentality than, l had suspected
Detroit Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

" 11e1c ~ StTeHBtus
"Why is it," asked the philosopher.
"that misfortunes never come singly? 2"
Cant say" replied the other man,
"unless it is that, on account of the
reception they get, they're afraid to
travel alone."-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

Illtteracy in Bulgaria.
In Bulgaria only 7h per cent. Of thu
population can read and write. -
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
THE TAAIMANY TIGER,


@ @ M d %san aaS %aS
q a a of cat ~ - o ~ " ~
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Amone the A1icawh.r.-

Among the Micawbers.
Pollywog-1 suppose it will be pretty
quiet in the Klondike all winter.
Jollydog-Well, I don't know; / ex-
pect there will be good many things
turn up there.
Pollywog-What?
Jollydog-Toes.-Town Topics.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Dependa ON the Kind.

Depends ON the Kind.
"Is it true that Mr.. Jones talks like
book?" she asked.
"Yes," he replied; "like one of these
ungrammatical dialect novels. Chi
cago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Huge Trees in Mexico

Huge Trees IN HeXfc0.
A huge cypress tree in Tulle, in the
state of oaxaca, Mex, Ii 15l feet in cir
cumfereucs. S*-@a = - - l. -.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
He Was All Right.

He Was All Right.
"They say that the Italian count she
married turned out to be an organ
grinder"
swell, at any rate he had handle to
his name."-Brooklyn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16

An Immutable Law.
"variety's the spice Of life;''
You cannot rearrange it.
Even a hundred-dollar bill
II no good till you change 1t.
-Washington Star.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
Applied Reason.

Applied Reason.
"There are things in this world more
valuable than money, my son."
II know it. That's the reason I want
money to buy them h."-Detroit
Free Press.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-16
A Plausible Guess

e.-John Ito himself)-Bet your life
it dOes.-N. Y. Herald.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14

Ii there is any class of people in
this country that should have the
special protection and care of the
courts of the country it is the more
ignorant and non English speaking
fullblood Indians. 1t should be a
source of satisfaction TO the people
within the jurisdiction of Judge
Thomas court to know that in him
these people have an ever-watch-
full protector and defender. A case
illustrative of the point in ques-
ton came up in court yesterday.
Sometime last year young man
named Ulysses Ritter committed
rape upon Annie Writer, a full
blood Indian girl sixteen years old
Gan orphan) out near Catoosa. The
case seemed to be one of unusual
brutality and there was scarcely
mitigating circumstance connected
with it. Ritter met the Indian
girl near her home and compelled
her at the muzzle of a revolver to
accompany him into the woods
where be forced her TO drink whis-
ky from bottle until drunk, struck
her in the face with his fist, the
marks of which violence she bore
for weeks afterwards, and then ac-
complished his brutal purpose.
Ritter was indicted by the grand
jury and the prosecution moved
the court to allow defendant to
plead guilty to assault with at
tempt to rape. Judge Thomas
called in some OF the witnesses, in
cluding the girl, and by the aid of
an interpreter questioned her
closely about the case. He then
examined other witnesses and
fully satisfied himself as to the
merits of the case. Ritter was
given seven years at hard labor in
the penitentiary at Leavenworth.
In passing sentence Judge Thomas
said that if the defendant had gone
to trial he was satisfied that he
would have been found guilty as
charged in the Indictment. The
court told Ritter that he was young
and had a mother and five sisters
and a brother upon whom he bad
brought an awful disgrace and bur-
den. That he had placed himself
without the pale of humanity; that
he could never sit upon a jury or
testify in the courts, and fill the
place of an honorable American
citizen. The costs in the case were
also attached to the penalty and he
will stand committed until all is
paid.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14
Judge Thomas Speech at Tulsa.

Returning from his recent hunt
ing trip Judge Thomas spent a
night at Tulsa and was induced to
make public speech in the hall.
His address is thus in part report
ed by the Republican:
The Judge made a few intro
ductory remarks among which he
paid some high tributes to the nat
ural scenery and beautiful land
scapes of the Indian Territory
He said that he had travelled all
over the world and had scaled the
Alps and visited the islands of the
sea, but none of them possessed
the beauty and grandeur of our
Indian Territory. He also de-
scribed a trip across the Indian
country many years ago as being
the most pleasant of his life. He
thinks we live in a regular garden
of the gods.
He brought forth the fact during
his address that it would be but a
short time until this country will
be formed into a grand, beautiful
state as nothing can stay the ad-
vance of civilization. He also be-
lieves that the wonderful resources
of the territory are capable of sup
porting over three millions of peo-
pie.
Judge Thomas believes the sun
is fast declining over the horizon
of tribal government and that a
short time in the future will see
this country in the MONDAY sun of
statehood. As a jurist he knows
no friend or foe and he made an
earnest appeal 10 the people to
help him bring culprits and law
breakers to justice, and admOnish-
ed them to stand up like men for
law and order. While the judge
was advocating single statehood a
voice asked: "What about Okla
homa's debit" The judge prompt
ly responded: Don't bid the
devil good-morning until you meet
him." He says the people of the
Indian Territory would not have
70 share Oklahoma's debt in case
of a union with that territory to
form state. Altogether his
speecb was witty and full OF humor,
and many able and conservative
ideas were advanced. Although
his address was purely impfomptu,
vet it was the means of winning
many friends for the Judge here.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14

TIE Cherokee national council
will convene in regular session the
first Monday in next month and
from all accounts and expressions
the members are making ample
preparation TO do nothing. And
the facts seem to be that the whole
country endorses the plan. The
necessity for meeting and drawing
per diem for at least two months
is one thing that cannot be stopped
nor stayed, though. The Chero-
kee nation will not be benefited
by either a long or short session,
and if the council could be ad-
journed sine die on the morning of
the first day :" 'twou,d be con-
summation devoutly to be wished" "
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14
Big Greek and Vicinity.

The dry weather still continues
and farmers are digging in the
beds OF creeks for water for their
stock.
Farmers are about through drill
ing wheat but the dry weather re-
fuses to bring it up.
G. w. Martin, wife and sister
went 'on the excursion to the
Priests of Palas parade at Kansas
City. They were accompanied by
Miss Lulu Scantling who went on
to Excelsior Springs to attend
school until spring.
Miss Addie Beck's health is i'm
proving ard she will return to vi
nita soon and resume her studies
at the college.
Shreck & Martin have built a
new addition to their store at
Ruby and a Methodist parsonage
is being erected.
Miss Sadie Clancy is attending
school at Nowata.
Oliver Hays, OF Sedalia, an ex-
pert penman, has been conducting
a writing school for the past two
weeks at the church at Ruby and
also at the Salt Creek school
house.
l. A Keys has had a new addi-
ton put to the farm house.
Prof. Chapman, of Willie Hal
sci college, was visiting the pa
irons of his school a few days
since.
Will Powell has just completed
an elegant residence.
Robert Allen is attending a med
ical college at ST. Louis.
Thursday of last week DR.. Allen
and wife started to Vinita in
wagon and when a few miles from
home the vehicle came uncoupled
and they were thrown violently
out. The team ran with the front
wheels to Salt Greek valley. For
tunately they were not seriously
hurt.
The neighborhood is in hutter
of excitement over a double we'd
ding which will take place in the
near future.
Mrs. Annie Rinker is quite sick
with fever.
Little Earnest Hicks has been
dangerously i'll with fever but is
recovering.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14

although solemnly guaranteed to
be done by existing treaties. II
intruders cannot be removed from
cur country at this time the ques-
tion arises will they be removed by
the promises OF a new treaty to do
so? 1t seems that the Cherokees
have tried both and found new
treaties to be 10 better than old
ones on this subject. | believe we
will have the same experience
when we try it. For this reason l
withheld my approval OF the act of
your called session last August au-
thorizing your commission to treat.
At that session of council l pre-
sented to you my views as to what
seemed TO me to be the most advis-
able course for US to pursue at this
time. l am still OF the opinion
that we should test our constitu-
tional rights before the supreme
court of the United States, and
provision should be made at once
Tor procuring the aolest council to
represent us.
In conclusion, gentlemen, per-
NIT me to say that have endeav-
Ored honestly to present to you my
views on the subject before you,
and feel that in this / have dis
charged my duty, and indulge the
hope that you will consider the
question in the same spirit of earn
estness that has actuated me, and
discharge the duty you owe your
constituency in;elligently, honest
ly and faithfully.
| have the honor to be, very re-
spectfully,
Your Obedient Servant,
IsPARHECHER.
D.,,o,pol Chtaf
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14
THE REMEMBRANCE OF HIM LIVES.

The day the jurisdiction of the
United States court at Fort Smith
ceased over the Indian country was
an epoch in the history OF Fort
Smith, and of the territory as well.
A train of circumstances, the like
of which will not again be wit
messed on the American continent,
contributed to the making at Fort
Smith of the greatest criminal
court in the world. And another
train of circumstances equally re-
markable and far-reaching, and
from which there was no escape,
DESTROYED the greatness OF that
court and reduced it to the level OF
q common district court Of the
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14

Few things are more important
to the boy growing up, or to the
young professional man just en-
tering into the practice of his chos-
sen profession, than the kind of
company he keeps. There is
nothing truer, i'll or out of the BIZ
bic, than that a man is known by
the company he keeps. :" And the
same thing may be said of the pro-
fessional man who goes into a new
community. If he associates with
gamblers, and l;bertines, and thugs
generally, it is but fair to presume
that he is of that kind himself.
AS a general proposition a man
will seek as his associates those
nearest like himself in tastes and
habits and in morals.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14
TIE CHERoKEEs PRESENT.

Delegations from the Cherokee
Nation are at Okmulgee seeking to
prevent the ratification of the
agreement and Muskrat made a
speech. 1t contained nothing new
but simply reiterated the declara-
ton that because the government
had neglected to remove the in
truders as agreed he had no faith
in its promises and advised against
any more treaties.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14
THE Choctaws will not conside

THE Choctaws will not consider
their agreement with the Dawes
commission with any view to its
ratification at their council now in
session at Tushkahomma. The
agreement itself provides that it is
to first be ratified by the congress
of the United States. Gov. Green
McCurtain indicates in his recent
message that some changes would
necessarily have to be made in the
treaty before being finally accepted
by the Indians.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14

United States. The latter chang;
was the result of the widening, anC
all-prevailing tide of American
civilization, that overturns anC
sweeps away all obstacles in it,
way.
In 1925 Fort Smith was one O
the out posts of civilization and al
west, and a great deal east of it,
was a wild and untrod Indian
country. Fort Gibson was anoth.
er fort in the line of Indian de-
fenses established by the govern
ment. The latter was visited by
Washington Irving ss late as 1882,
he going out on a buffalo and wild
horse hunt into the Cimaron coun-
try.
The United States court at Fort
Smith as now constituted, judging
from the amount of business done,
is a small affair compared with its
former greatness. The great
crowds of Indians seen hanging
around the court building and at
all the hotels and on the streets.
have disappeared. The high stone
wall around the old Jail and gov
ernment barracks is now being
torn away, and there is an air of
loneliness that pervades the place,
and in another generation nearly
all the evidences of the old time
court will have been obliterated.
With the passing of the court
came almost simultaneously the
death of Judge Parker, the great
est and most distinguished of his
contemporaries on the federal
bench. Parker was essentially the
product of the west and the strong
est type of the period that pro-
duced him. He was born at the
right time, and grew into manhood
when conditions were most favora-
BILE for a man of his rugged strength
of character and transcendent abil-
ity. Judge L. C. Parker fitted in
to his own niche in history like a
great sea shell in mosaics. He
simply filled his own peculiar
place in the history of the west,
and when he was taken out the
whole structure of which he was
so conspicuous a part began to
crumble and fall apart, never more
to be replaced.
The scenes around the old Jail
yard are almost pathetic; the fence
down, the grewsome old gallows
removed, and the man who took
such keen delight in operating it
to the breaking of the necks of so
many of his fellow creatures, is
now exhibiting it in a tour of the
states, and getting a livelihood out
of it still. Judge Parker was a
great man-would have been con-
sidered so anywhere aud in any
age of the would-but the people
of Fort Smith appreciated his
greatness as the outside world can
never know or appreciate. Out IN
the national cemetery, on a lit
tie mound, surrounded by soldiers
graves and in the shadow of grand
old elms, sleeps the body of the
man who made Fort Smith famous
to the ends of the earth, wherever
man is civilized and laws and
courts are known. Upon this
grave are placed fresh roses every
three hundred and sixty
five days in the year. AS images
of Diana were placed in every
Ephesian home, so today may be
found the portraits OF Judge Park
er in homes and places of business
in Fort Smith. And, as "Great
was Diana OF the Ephesians, . even
so great was Isaac c. Parker of
Fort Smith.
Indian chieftain. [volume] (Vinita, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1882-1902, 1897-10-14

The Chiefs Regular and Special Mes
sages-He had first Heard OF but
Later Appears to have Read the
Agreement-And Does Not Like it
Either.