St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1897-10-09

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feel like l am rs good Methodist a.
any man in the crowd. and hundred
common men couldn't throw me over
board from the Old Ship. Methodist,
Methodist is my name, and Methodist
will l die"
But. nevertheless, notwithstandin
henceforth thereof, as Drury went on
from bad to worse with his weak pint
for cussin the church come together
and throwed him overheard and the
Old Ship sailed proud and steady on her
way.
From Pillow to Post.
For a long time after that Drury
Griffin stuck to it and maintained that
he was a better Methodist than larry
durn one" OF the men which turned him
out of the church. lie got madden aud
madden with the men which were hold
in the helm of the Old Ship. till by and
by he give i out that he was goin to
build up the true Methodist church.
One day he went out in the old held
and knocked up pine pole pen. which
he called the True Church. He put in
the benches and built q pulpit and
bought big Bible. Then he fell in
with Parson Zeb Newton-which in
the main time Zeb had been turned
out of the church for ridln q squea!in
chestnut sorrel horse on the circuit
and Zeb was anonymously elected to be
the preacher of the True Church. But
it seems as If the True Church didn't
draw AZ fast and furious as Drury and
Zeb lowed it would. Zeb was the
preacher and Drury was the church.
and when it come to pass that they
couldn't turn the created world wrong
side out and upside down. they helt
a few cussin matches together, and
then adjourned the meetin and quit.
But in the run of time Drury Griffin
jined in with first one church and then
another till finally at last he didn't
have nowheres to go. lie put his menu
Sership in with the Presbyterians and
went along smooth for awhile, but pres
entity he got mad because they rot
down to sing and rig up to pray" He
lowed that want in line with his mo-
tions Of religion, 20 he took out and
quit.
The next thing everybody knowed
Drury was jined in with the Episcopal
church, but he didn't stick there ak
months. 1 had told the folks all along
that If Drury Griffin ever got any
religion that would keep he would
have to take it in the very light
est form, and 1 lowed maybe he had
now found the proper place At last.
But he soon took up the notion that
dancin was rs bad MS cussin. And he
sides that, ne said they didn't do any
thing in the church but read prayers
and sing songs, and kneel down end
get up, and then get up and kneei
down. So Drury he '.riz and fell with
'em" as long rs he could stand it, and
then dropped out into the cold world
oncst more.
To tell the Bible truth, all the
churches and any church was too good
for Drury Griffin. He had been horned
on the other side of every question,
and the maiHest trouble with Drury
Griffin was the all-around cusseslness
of Drury Griffin. And when his time
come he died out of the church, and out
Of sorts. and ont Of tumor with the
whole created human lace.
.s4nae Thing IN Re1Bases.
Now. old man Asey Slki6blin was
about rs bad cff in ponies as Drury
Griffin was with regards bis religion.
Old man Axey didn't have no trouble
touchin tte.church. baeO16n it come
to politics he was on the other side
every time thee eonventiof come to or
der. He started out In life az scream
in democrat and stood on that puncheon
for many years: but Is time went on
he took fool notion to run for Office.
He went i'd for high constable first.
but most Of the votes went to the other
man and the distance flag flu:tered
down in Asey's face. He next made the
/. race for county coroner. and Oncst
more luck run from him like shot and
let in the other man come under the
wire first.
Then presently Asey Stribblin got
sick and .SnEe. He made out like some
body had cheated him outen what was
his by rights. At the same time the
onlyest trouble with Asey was that he
didn't get votes enough to put him in
the Office. What is SO now was 50 then
aud always will be 70. The mainest
thing is the votes. Asey thought every
blessed man that smiled at him and
talked kind and pleasant to him was =
Stribblin man. aud then when the votes
didn't pan out like he had set the fig
gers down he let the sap run up and
talked like silver-tongued idiot. He
heard that old man Tommy Pickens
voted for the other man after talkin
like he mought be for Stribblin, and
from that he threatened to shoot
Pickens on sight. But right then if
Asey had started out to shoot every
man that talked like he mought be for
Stribblin and then voted for the other
man on election day he would re busy
with that large and bloody job even In
to this good day and hour.
Well. in the run Of years, old man
Asey got 20 ALFRED mad with the
democrats till he Lit out and went over
to the whigs-which il come to pass
that the wings didn't to say need him
any worse than the democrats Now
Asey Strjbblin was man like this. II
he didn't see what he wanted he would
ask for II. and then II the gang be was
gaIopin with didn't give Il to him he
wouldn't gallop Nc more. II the party
played his way he would play. aud il
they didnt he was ready right then
Immediately to throw his hand 70 the
pack and quit the game. He soon quit