The Cambria freeman. [volume] (Ebensburg, Pa.) 1867-1938, 1897-04-30
A DOMESTIC TRAGEDY.

Persons represented: Miss sHyphen-smith.
Mr.. Pagct.
Scene-A draving-roorn in Miss Smiths
house. near New York In the room on =
stand against the wall is telephone.
Miss 5. quitting down her book and
glancing at clock kD-Nearly three, and
he said that at three o'clock he would
telephone To me from New York What
can he want to say to me? II think
i am nearly sure it must be Il proposal.
He has been so attentive of late. I
am sure no one can be less vain than
am. but there has been Il look in his
eye, tone in his voice. that Is quite
unmistakable. (EOoks fondly at tel
ephone) What comfort il Is TO have
telephone in ones house. | really
don't know how 1 ever existed without
it. If a visitor drops i'll unexpected
ly to dinner, and 1 want a nice lit.le
dish of outlets, | ring up the butcher.
Ii / feel little low and only a fried
sole can tempt my failing appetite, l
ring up the fishmonger. The grocer
the butcher, the wine merchant, the
livery stables-they are all on the tel
ephone. (CIock strikes.) Ah. there's
the bell, brushes 10 telephone and
you, Capt. Navasour? Yes: are YOU
there? There's no one there, and yet
l hear some one speaking in the dis
tance, faint buzzing like bee in u
bottle. (Rings off and glances at clock.l
Just three. 1t was the clock striking.
and l thought il was the telephone
(Sits-ring at belI-she jumps up.D
There ii is again! Oh, no; its the door
bell this time Igoes to window. and
there's Mr.. Paget coming in-provok-
ing! l should have said: Not a
home;" too late now, and he must come
in here; | can't leave the telephone, NOT
that | don't like MIR. paget: | like him
very much. | might have preferred
him to Capt. NavaSoUr; but | have
never seen any tendency in him to
propose to me Dear me. it's very
awkward TO have a visitor IN the room
when I'm expecting telephone pro-
Posal, and ] mean to accept il, at the
top OF my voice! enter Mr.. Paget.)
Mr.. L. (very nervous and fiurried)-
How do you do, Miss Smith?-beg
your pardon. Hyphen-Smith. Er-er-
lovely day. isn't it?
Miss Smith Shaking hands with eff
fusion)-Glad to see you; here is your
faVorite chair. Let me put your hat
down in its accustomed corner.
Mr.. p (aside)-She is really most
charming woman | wonder if she'll
be surprised when / ask her To marry
me. It's little difficult 10 lead up to.
but / like to get these awkward things
over quickly. (Aloud, nervous D-Ahem
my dear Miss h-Hyphen-Smith
IT Telephone bell rings; she rushe-
to it,. Confound it. what's that
what's she doing?
Miss S. tat telephoneD Yes; are YOU
there? What? Is that Capt-Mr.
who? l can't hear; speak louder.
What? what? Six gross OF screws!
don't keep screws. Who do you want
No, I'm 40.
Mr.. P.-Impossiblel
Miss S.-What? what? Well. another
time when you want 64 don't ring up
46. (Rings off in disgust and sits
DOWN.
Mr.. P.-My dear Miss Smith. may |
ask what that instrument of torture
is, and why you are shouting at it?
Miss S.-Why, have you never seen
telephone?
Mr.. P.-I suppose I've seen them in
offices, but I've never net a-domeS-
ticated telephone (aside) hope l never
shall again. (Aloud) l don't care for
these new-fangled things; I'm an old
fashioned fellow. Don't you find it Il
confoundcd nuisance?
Miss S.-No. indeed! It's the great
est comfort l possess. (Ciock strikes;
she jumps up, then sits.)
Mr.. P.-Don't you find il a little
jumpy? Bad for the nerves, eh?
Miss S-Not in the least; most sooth-
ing.
Mr.P. (nervous)-My dear Miss Smith
-Hyphen-Smith- h-you-youwilIb besur-
prised to hear what brought me here
to-day.
Mis- S. (absently, looking at tele-
phone)-Cab, L suppose.
Mr. P-You will be surprised to
hear
Miss s. (absently)-Oh. not at all.
Mrs. P.-Eh? l had no idea you had
Guessed my secret.
Miss S.-Secret? what secret? Oh.
beg your pardon. didn't quite catch
what youSxere saying. II was listen
ing for the telephone
Mr.. p. (aside)-Confound the tele-
phone!
Miss s. (aside, glancing anxiously at
clock)-He said about three, and now
it's nearly 20 minutes past; surely ne
must ring me up soon.
Mt. P.-Well. as l was going to say
when the telephone interrupted me.
you will hardly have guessed why |
came her to-day.
Miss S (archIy)-wasn't it TO see
me?
Mr.. PIT was, my dear Miss Smith.
and
Miss S. Qaughing)-And to hear the
telephone?
Mr. P--Apparently. But as Twas GO
ing to say, it was to tell you-to-to-
telephone bell rings. Miss s. r-ushes
to- Curse the beAi
Miss S (at telephone)-Ye are YOU
there? What? is that you? Capt
Navasour? What? Fish? what fish?
L said salmon. What? Yes, salmon
outlets. What? No, didn't. Inever