The times., 1897-09-12
A CHRONICLE OF A CAT.

i LdCH kfleW Exactly W ldt
ne had to do and did 1T, without fear
as without prejudice. Every day, at an
appointed hour, the members OF the staff
came in, and taking out each his little
key, unlocked respective pigeon holes and
removed selected slips of paper, on which
was printed The assignment for the day.
They then proceeded to cover the assign
ment. asking no questions for conscience
sake. 1t was against etiquette TO ask
questions. IL a reporter did not know
enough to cover his assignment without
asking questions, he found when he next
opened his pigeon hole a discharge slip
and pay envelope, containing his salary
to date; and he was not expected 10 show
himself again around that office.
THIS sort of thing went on for many
years, till all the reporters fitted snugly
and neatly into their places, where they
staid until they died; and they never went
on sprees or got married. 1t finally be-
came so that no one knew exactly who
thc editor was, or where he could be found.
He did not usually want to be found and
the office building had been constructed
with an express view to not finding him
easily, for he did not wish 60 be inter
rupted when he was concocting great and
mighty pieces OF advice 20 the admlnistra-
ton, or articles on the history OF Egypt,
or something of that sort. He did not
want the reporters to interrupt him in his
work, and he set them q good eX XampIe by
not i1terrupting them in theirs. And as
his subCrdinates wished some day to be
ihe iiIn i'll the matter OF fat salary,
they cultivated being unapproachabe as (.
fine art, so that gradually t came 10 pass
that each member of the staff, in office
hours, was as much alone in his work az
ir he had been in the middle OF Zig
glacier in nid-ocean, with all the steam.
ship lines paralyzed.
The only really untamed and erratic
mind In the 3uilding belonged to the office
cat. She was retained on account OF the
rats, which were also uDtamed and erTatic.
one day, while chasing a rat, She found
III ber way bundle of papers. She re
rltcted that if she upset those papers she
would upset the office but if she allowed
her mind To wander from the rat she
would not catch him, and she woEld have
no dinner. and would probably lose her
situation. The consequence was that when
the OFFICE boy came I'm TO place the papers
IN tie pigeon holes they were scat.
tered from one end OF the office to the
other. The office boy turned pale, aid
his knees met gently once or twice He
did not know what to do. He hurriedly
picked up the slips of paper and put them
IN the pigeon holes, just as they came
Then he went into corner and hoped for
the best
The reporters came up one by one. and
tCDk out theiI assignments. Their faces
. s4st
ed about to speak 1t look ed as If some
thing must ne wrong But there was no
ole to ask, and nothing TO do but 10 ON.
They took the assignments and went on.
Tilat afternoon the editor unfolded the
first paper which left the press, as it
dropped On his desk FROM a chute in the
wall. He read page after page with a
ddzed and thcn an enraged look on his face.
Here Is the first thing which caught his
eye:
dramatic novelty OF the rarest char
acter was furnished in the al fresco per
IorInanee of Mr. Wagners lawn at the
mead or Seventh street yesterday. Great
preparations had been made. The audi
ehce was seated in grand amphitheater
W hose superfluous capacity showed that
many more people were expected than
had come. Though many of the PLAYERS
belonged right here in Washington it is
said that at least half of them came from
Cincinnati.
The performance was stranger than a
symbol by Maeterlinck or a Chinese TRAGEDY.
IN one respect there is faithful adherence
10 dramatic technique, for the play is
nearly all action, one person. in a blue
serge costume, acting in the same ca
paclty as the old Greek chorus and inter
preting everything that was done The
audience was very demonsuratiye, aud
though stanchly faithful to the Wash
ington players, who were cast for the
eroic parts, and consistently aggrieved
at everything done by the Cincinnati
players, Who were cast for the villain
parts, yet it divided its praise and blame
on the chorus in equal cries of you're
all right, old man. Put Buck out OF
the game" GO lose yourself, and Y oa're
plain rank"
The play was of a style entirely new
To The dramatic editor. One man said il
was The Missing Hit; or, How Browns
Boys ed Buck Crow Another said it
was Rotten But several said it was
a Comedy OF Errors" If it was. it
is stranger peryersion OF Shakespeare
than Augustin DAILY or Richard Mansfield
ever made. lt is form Of drama very
popular with its cult. IL seems quite ike
bclng at the play in Boston. Nearly every
one made critical notes on his program
at frequent intervals, and some of the
more sapient prompted the PLAYERS when
they made errors. In this performance
all the actors Were men but two. A gen
ueman behind the dramatic editor said
that the player named Brown was an old
lady, and frequent illusions were made
to Miss Bridget McPhee, who was an ad-
Of The most yiliainous type. But
Duth these charming ladies wore boomers
like tile rest of the players, and, to the
their sex was not apparent
The costumes were not handsome. they
We're all alike and all dirty. Scenery
there was none, except the natural sward
and sky, and an inartistic Commercial
spirit had built up the perspective with
advertisements.
The gentleman behind, who is a scholar
in this branch of dramatic art, said that
the performance Of Mr.. Mercer was won
derfui, although the hit, in fact, three
hits, were made by Mr.. SeIbach Mr..
Dwyer was the principal villain His work
was superb, but the just audience sat in
such rapt admiration that it never thought
or missing as does the gallery crowd at
the colventiona al melo- dramatic villain. Mr.
Dwyer, as a villain, was revelation in
another respect. He did not wear a frock
coat or silk hat, and he did not smoke
cigarettes. But he had q ball which he
Kept throwing at the heroic Washington
players. though he rarely hit them On
their part dramatic license kept them at
a Instance from him aud they were armed
with only a small club. The ball seemed
to be the principal point in the play, for
every one had something to do with it,
just as the note in "A Scrap of Paner''
and the baby in "Shore Acres.n The play
was in nine acts and more climaxes than
ever thrilled three BOwery melo- dramas
tomorrow another version VIII be played