Gulf Coast breeze. [volume] (Crawfordville, Fla.) 1897-19??, 1897-07-30
HUMOROUS.

Tip-I hear old Snagsby left COO
million behind. Nip-How else could
he keep it cool.
"How does it happen, Tommy, that
YOU have the larger applet There
wasn't but one big one, Uncle
Harry"
When man gets away from his
wife and then refers to her IA an OLD
hen. YOU can bet she rules the roost
Mt home.
'Do you know that your confound'
ed dog barks all night "les, / sup
pose he does. But don't worry about
him. He sleeps all right in the day
time"
IF YOU had half the nerve this
tooth has," said the dentist to the
ouivering wretch in the chair, you
could have this all over in about five
seconds.
"Why do you hate soap so?" asked
the inquisitive lady. II don't, SAID
Mr.. Dismal Dawson. II simply ig-
more it. We don't move in the same
set that $ all.
would you please help me?' said
the poor beggar to the pedestrian.
Il have wife and five children ut
home, and an instament to pay on my
bicycle tomorrow.
Sportsman Ito Snobson, who hasn't
brought down bird all day)-Do you
know Lord Peckham? Snobson-Oh,
dear yes; I've often shot ut his house.
Sportsman-Ever hit it?
"Tm not enthusiastic about send
ing missionaries abroad" "Well,
think we ought to send some to Scot
land to induce those unfortunate peo-
pie to get rid Of their DIALECT
@-s--~-~~---s,zxs--------s -
poem cost me weeks hard labor.
Editor twho has read III Us that all?
III I'd have had the passing of the
sentence you'd have got month.
AT the Menagerie-First Street
Arab heard tell that camels often
has togo a week in the desert with
out drink. Second Street Arab
No wonder they get their backs up.
'What is Bexton hustling around
so in the interest of crirfew ordi-
nance for?" Ellis boy saw him com
ing out Of variety theatre the other
night and went home and told about
| it,"
Willie--Say, paw; was old Captain
Blossom ever a pirate? Pater-No,
Willie; he was a sportsman. Willie
Well, heard him say he got away
with fourteen schooners and never got
shot.
First Deaf Mute speaking by fin
ger signs, OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES did
You sprain your wrist? Second Deaf
Mute speaking by ditto with one
hand Il was reading Scotch dialect
aloud.
Adorer after rebuke by the old
lady)-I didn't kiss youl / only pre-
tended | was going to. Why did you
call to your mother? Sweet Girl ire
pentantly)-I--I didn't know she was
i'll the house.
Little Willie-Maw, think know
WY '"'io uc ~ many Cht-thllS grow
ing down beside that pond near the
mill. Mamma-Why, my dear? Little
Willie-'Cause so many kittens have
been drowned there.
Miss Eden-Why did they build the
walls of this reservoir 50 high? Mr..
Musee manager of the wax-works
show)-Probably to keep people from
poking their canes and umbrellas into
the water to see if it is real.
eyes, Mildred is going to be a very
economical wife" How do Won
know!" why, she consented to be
married along in the middle of the
day, just to make it unnecessary for
her husband to get new dress suit"
Mamma" asked Sammy Snaggs.
what is meant by the spur OF the
momentY "The spur of the mo-
ment is affixed to the heel of time."
replied Mrs. Snaggs, sagely, "and
prompts to immediate performance.
Now go to the grocery after that
bread i told you to fetch half an hour