Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1897-04-21
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s-Chicago Record.
Remains to be seen: The boy WIN
has an appointment with the teachar
after school Is dismissed.--Boston
Transcript.
Kean-Isn't your wife afraid to driya
that horse? Steam-Not at all. Irs
the people she meets who are scared
Hartford Times.
First Office Boy-It says "Our hero
now partook of frugal repast." Wbat
does that mean? Second Office Bow
Quick lunch.-Puck.
Husband-Why should you blame me
because we were late to the theaterp
Wife-You forget, dear, that you bur.
ried me up so.-Puck.
"Wobbles rides his bicycle In his fla,
now" I'm his fiat?" "Yes; it's steam.
heated, and he has to scorch up and
down the hall to keep warm."-Llfe
] went into the theater,
But left it with a sigh;
The play was long, the jokes were broad
The hats were very high.
-Pick-Me-Up.
''Do you think opals are unlucky?"
inquired the superstitious man. ''Yes"
was the reply. "My wife wants Que
and it's going to cost me $5O."-Wasa.
ington Star.
Does your latest novel enjoy large
sale? he inquired. II don't know
whether the novel does or not" replied
the author, "but do."-Chicago Times.
Herald.
Rural Teacher-What current event
of great interest can you give me this
morning Small Girl (eagerly)-My ma
has just made twenty tumbers of jel-
ly.-Judge.
Willie-Its always In damp places
where mushrooms grow, isn't it, papa?
Papa-Yes, my boy. rs that the cea.
son they look like umbrellas, papaY-
Yonkers Statesman.
did you ever get so mad that words
failed your" ''Yes-once." "When
was that" "Just one-eighth of sec.
ond after l called a prize-fghter
liar."-Chicago Record.
Mudge-Oh, yes, we had a real lively
time, Simmons and I. 1t cost us near
ly $50. Wickwire-Yes. l saw Sim.
mons this morning, and he told me he
spent $45.-Indianapolis Journal.
"Come, Julie, let's go and have
friendship oyster stew together"
Friendship oyster stew! What's thatr
"Why, you pay for mine, and I'll pay
for yours. New York Journal.
She-And you say that you have
never been In love? He-Never. have
thought l was, seventy-five or eighty
times but / always found out after
ward that l wasn't.-Somerville Jour.
nal.
The subordinate-Here Is letter
from young woman wanting us to
give some of the legends about the orr
gin of the fan. The Chief-Turn It
over to the baseball editor.-Indlan.
apolis Journal.
However ling the line may be
With civic folk and troopers,
Each marcher proudly feels that he
Is the grandest in that pageantry:
The rest are merely supers.
Washington Star.
"And Is she really the trained singer
she claims to beT Beyond doubt.
She can sing Comm Through the Rye
so that nobody can tell what 1t is with
out looking at the program. "-Cincin'
natl Enquirer.
First Doctor-Well, that's just like
these actresses! Second Doctor-What
is? First Doctor--Why, that Miss
May Cupp won't let us look Into her
head with the x ray until she makes
up her mind.-Puck.
Brown-The sporting editor of ;hls
paper doesn't know his business. lie
says here that that lightweight boxer
weighed 118 pounds. Jones-1sn't tAal
right? Brown-No. He should have
said clipped the scales."-Judge.
Couldn't Stand Alone.--"They tell me
Van Wither is very weak since his last
sickness" HE Is. l saw him on the
street just now and asked him for
flyer; but he couldn't stand loan
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Amy, my love, l wish we lived IN
the good old days when knight could
fight for his lady love-" "Why, George.
dear, as for that, you haven't asked
papa's consent to our engagement IN
yet, you know."-Forget-Me-Not.
The Comedian ION the defensive'-
But you know there are only seven real
Jokes in the world, 1t is said. The SOU
brette--I know; what puzzles me
that you have never happened upop
any of them.-Cincinnati Tribune.
Nellle-I don't see why Charley Dlul'
pleton has suddenly been so taken WIN
Dot Thurston. How do you account
for 1t? Jessie-Oh, believe she was
the first one to notice that he was ras'
ing a ustache.-Cleyeland Leader
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, 'oe
man dat pays hundu'hds OBJ dollahs iop
flags an decorations ain ez mucn W
er patriot ez de one dat goes quieup
long an pays is taxes an serves VI
de jury wifout klckin'."-Washins'o"