The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1897-06-10
connected. Why shouldn't she make

match of it with the vicar?
at was simply little joke Of mine
But my wife Ito whom this was evi.
IDENTIFY 4 new idea) took it quite serious.
ly.
"'ro be sure she cried, clapping her
hands. There's the vicar. ! wonder
have never thought of him. OF course,
he's the very man.
Il laughed aloud at the eager serious
ness with which she said it.
MY DEAR I told her, 4 was only
joking. You don't suppose that the
! vicar would look ut Margaretta. do
you?
And why mott demanded my wife,
bridling. 'Margaretta is good enough
for any man.
perhaps So observed. Far be it
from me to depreciate Margaretta. But
you see, my dear, the vicar is not IL
marrying man. In fact, for all his flirt-
ing propensities, he is as confirmed a
bachelor rs l have ever come across
ut is a crying scandal that such
| a man should be bachelor exclaimed
my wife, in an indignant tone. Il call
| ii outrageous
Especially with girls like Margaret
| ia about. suggested. slyly.
| But my wife was III no mood for
| jesting over this affair."
II wish you wouldn't make jokes
| out of everything she retorted, quite
GROSSLY. II is scandalous that the vicar
should remain bachelor. 1t ought
not to be allowed. Everybody admits
that it is the bounden duty of il bene-
feed clergyman to marry. Look what
an invaluable help wife is in a par
ish! You can't deny that, can you?
"'Certainly not, my dear. 1t is quite
indisputable.' l assented, for it was
after dinner. l was spelling for my
nap, and it was my hope that if al
lowed my wife to silence me in argu-
ment she would let the discussion drop.
Wherein, to my great thankfu!ness,
was not deceived.
But although no more was said on
the subject just then, this idea which
l had so lightly mooted and which my
wife had jumped at with such eager
ness was not allowed by that persever-
ing angel to rest The keenness with
which she threw herself into her new
scheme, the energy with which she set
herself to execute it, excited my su-
preme wonder and amusement. No lit
tie dodge whereby the vicar and Mar
garetta might be brought together was
too barefaced for her; no little preteXt
was too flimsy. She inveigled the rev.
erend gentleman into little dinners,
luncheons, teas, picnics, at which 1t
was invariably managed that he should
be brought into close proximity with
Margaretta. She made them partners
at tennis and croquet, at whist and
four-hapded chess. The vicar evident
ly enjoyed all this-as a pastime-for
Margaretta was very pretty. But while
he fiirted with her, decorously and as
a clergyman should, and even some
times went rather farther than a cler-
gyman should, he never went, nor mad
any idea of going, to the length which
Margaretta pined for.
You, my dear fellow, are married |
man, and you know the ways Of wom- |
en-. You will, therefore, feel no sur
prise to hear that neither Miss Barker |
nor my wife thought for a minute of |
being content with these impractical
firtations. Nor will it cause you the
smallest sensation of wonder to be In
formed that the entire blame for the
wears declining to toe the scratch was
shunted on to me. IF had been half
man, etc., If had cared fraction of i
a straw for my wife's peace of mind
etc., IF had been at all like some 9th
er husbands she knew ETC. However,
you, being married, have all this, of
course, at your fingers ends, so l will
not so into that part of it. Nor will 1
dwell upon the piteOus accounts given
me by my wife Of poor Margaretta's
breaking heart, and of how she was
pining and wasting away, and qualify
ing for early quarters in the local cem-
etery. That is an old story which I
will take leave to skip, and will resume
my narrative after an interval of two
or three months.
"One morning I was sent for in my
professional capacity to visit our vicar.
The complaint from which found him
suffering was of quite a trifing nature
being nothing more serious than an at
tack of lumbagO, and not very severe
attack at that, for he was perfectly
free from pain, in most pOstures, and
was only very violently gripped by the
malady when attempting to rise after
STOPPING or kneeling. Still, of course,
this was sufficiently inconvenient to a
clergyman, as it precluded his taking
part in the church services, and he was
anxious to be we'll again
by the following Sunday.
''Now, there's no doubt about It, Ium-
bago does give rise to some very ridic-
llous situations. In fact, the patients
when trying, if you under
stand me, to sidle round that particu-
ar posture, in which he knows that he
will be gripped. and to gain the desired
by lodging, so to speak,
he muscles of his own back. are often
grOtesque. Take 1t, also,
hat the patient is one who prides him
;elf on the dignity Of his department.
Is our vicar did-and this grotesQue-
less is appreciably enhanced. Indeed.
what could be funnier sight to see
han dignity struggling with lumbago:
!, myself, though hardened by profes-
ional experience, have often derived
he hugest amusement from it. And l :
did so in this case.
"Our excellent vicar was extremely
orry for himself. He gave me a
.raphic account of the torturing agon-
rs which he had endured, in trying to
Use from kneeling posture in church
where he had been suddenly seized
nd how it had taken him good five
minutes to regain his feet. prescribed
ONE of the usual remedies, and prom
sed to call again in day or two. When :
reached home the first question my
wife asked me was: