The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-07-14
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

nSNSN VI iIlG DH -
He-"Miss Peavick's age is telling
upon her," She--"What ingratitudel"
Puck.
"What constitutes a good joker"
"1he right sort of fellow to tell it
to. Judge.
First Neighbor proudly - my
daughter is learning the violin" Sec
ond Ditto (sadly)-'so Ihear. Lon
don Fun. q
George, isn't this love Of bon
metz" 81 suppose SO; it doesn't look
as if it would last longer than six
weeks. Puck.
Parke-'T thought you said you had
plenty OF furniture to fill your new
house." Lane-"That was before I
moved. Judge.
Wheeler-"I hear Sprockets mar
ried Tartarl" Bearings (sententious-
ly)-"Yes-poor old fellow she steers
their deml"-Puck.
His Wife-"Well, they've returned
our lawn mower at last" The Sub
urbanite-"'Is it completely worn out
or does it merely need repairsP"-
Puck.
Gentlemen of the jury" said the
lawyer, "there were thirty-six hogs.
Please remember the fact-just three
times as many as in the jury box, gen.
tlemen."
He-''He that courts and runs away,
,,,,ll Isx,a - - 1oxr - Che
''But he that courts and does not wed,
will find himself in court instead. -
Standard.
Young Author-"Can you tell me
how to become a good poet?" Editor
ooh, yesl The very first thing for You
is TO die. All the good ones are dead.
STANDARD.
"How is this, Count? They say the
stone in this ring you gave me is imi-
tation." ooh, like enough. l never
was very strong in mineralogy. =
Humoristische Blaetter.
Hicks-"How did Jackson maI
his money anyway" Dix ,of
literary work. He had to get ont of it
because he couldn't make dollar in
it. ."-Somerville Journal.
Grimshaw-"Well, beat Borrowby
out of 81 just now" Askins-" "How
in the world did you do it?" Grim
shaw--"Ohl he struck me for five, and
1 lent him one. Pack.
It is a great pity that a man can't
discharge his debts as woman does
hers-by hiring a hall, and passing
around a bit of cake and dab of ice
cream. m.-Atchison Globe.
Aunt Sarah Ito nephew from the
city)-"Is Uncle Cyrus through milk
ing, Teddy?" Teddy--''Not quite.
He's finished two faucets and has just
begun on the other two. Judge.
Walker Fart thought your next
tour was to have been through South
Africa. Count d'Ties-'It was, but
the company struck. One of them had
read that an ostrich egg often weighs a
dozen pounds. "
She (angrily)-"I believe you think
more of that nasty old pipe than you
do of me, your wife" He (mildlyl--
"Well, my dear, / can keep my pipe
from going out. Cincinnati CONNER
cial Tribune.
The Fiancee (vaguely)-''If Harry
leaves for Boston to-day he won come
but if he comes TO tea-we'll know he's
herel" Maiden Aunt (bitterly)-"l
shouldn't judge by appearances--men
are so deeeitfull"--Truth.
Wickwire-" Have you been follow.
ing Timmins's career lately? He has
written several short articles full Of
promise. Mudge-'So have l, but
haven't been able to pay any of them
yet. indianapolis Journal.
Cumso-" Why don't Mr.. Gilgal and
Miss Perkasie get married?" Cawkel
-"Shyness on both sides. Cumso---
"How do you make that out?" Cawkel
--''She is a shy little thing by nature
and he is shy of cash. Detroit Fre'
Press.
"Are you sure these corsets are un
breakable?" asked the doubling Gus
toner. ''I have been wearing one my
self for a year." said the saleslady
''and it amt broke yet And" sh'
continued, blushing, II am engaged.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Department Store Photographic
(suavely, to sitter Now look pleas
ant, please. Van Prune being photo
graphed while waiting for his VIII,
fniserably)--'I can't. My wife
downstairs attending your bargai
sales of dress goods and millinery. -
Puck.