davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Tit-Bits: A country minister. talking
to an old lady about his son who had
ernigrated. was very pathetic over the
quoth Janet, we medina haver sac muckle
ABBOTT it; it'll nae be sac awful deep; it's
been an unco' dry year
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

The United States should not grant
citizenship to those foreigners who do
not intend to be citizens of this re-
public in fact as well as in name.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

New York Commercial Advertiser: OF
course, there is no likelihood that the bill
introduced in Albany by Senator Els
caricatures of public men will be passed
Yet there is an imperative need for just
such . law.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

It is not at all improbable that with
Senator Sherman in command of the
state department the department will
be very like a ship without a rudder.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

There will be one dark shadow
athwart the portals of the White
House when Major Mckinley enters
it-that of Lilioukalani.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04
Madam vivian ZONES.

Having but just returned from an ex-
tended eastern tour will be glad to
chat with friends upon the modes in
artistic dressing.
AT WALKERS.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

About the chief merit of a bipartisan
police board is that it affords an OPP
portunity for deals. And then it is
so rankly partisan, too.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

The powers yesterday resumed busi-
ness at the old stand by sending the
sultan a note. 1t was an R. S. V. p
TOfR-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

The house has passed the immigra-
ton bill over President Cleveland's
veto. This is a sort of "off with his
head" proceeding.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

The powers keep protesting that they
agree on the Cretan question Then
why don't they quit protesting?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Will Hanna's ambition cause him to
desire TO move from the east end OF
the avenue to the west end four years
nence2
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS

Chicago Times-Herald: Patriotism is a
great thing. A New Yorker who recently
bought Abraham Lincoln's birthplace for
5000 insists that patriotic pride should
compel this government to take the pur-
chase off his hands for $4,000
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Major Mckinley is now entered for
the four years race. May ne nave a
successful run.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

There will be a great many ex's made
today, the result of exeunt omnes from
the White House and cabinet.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04
Philadelphia Record: ID

Philadelphia Record: Diplomacy by
joint resolution" is the apt phrase in
vented by Senator White of California.
for the wretched lingo business in the
senate; and it fairly characteriZes that
sort of hurrah craftsmanship which
thinks very much of lthe galleries and
very little of truth, law and decency or of
the impecunious federal treasury.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

On the 18th of the present month
Neal Dow will be SO years old. Another
triumph for temperance.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

The news from Carson is improving
each day. Each day there is less
of it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

st. Louis Globe-Democrat: Unless the
Smithsonian institution is misinformed
about our native birds. which is not
likely, scores of valuable species have
been killed Off and many are reduced to
scanty remnant. In some directions
science is still a long way behind saw
agery.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

The fewer appointments President
Mckinley makes the more disappolht-
ments there will be.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Kansas City Star: If John ]. Ingalls,
goes to report the great prize-fight the
rivals will have a man who can do justice
TO their whitening sarcasm and pictur-
esque denunciations.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Mr.. Cleveland had Harmon(y) in his
cabinet. Major Mckinley proposes 10
have Bliss in his.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Cleveland Plain Dealer: A Serious
Omission.-'I was swindled on this new
dictionary" 'How?" 1T hasn't any in
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Belfast News: Tommy-Who were the
early Christians" ma?
ARCHAEOLOGICAL beings, who got VI
to build the fire for their wives.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

~ Indianapolis Journal: Il wonder. said
always scared when he proposes?"
That" said the chronic bachelor, lis
his guardian angel trying to hold him
back
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

An occupation for tramps-moving
on.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Winter seems to have plunked itself
down in the lap of spring.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Yonkers Statesman: Mr. Singer@"Will
you accompany me this EVENING"" Miss
Bloomer-"Bicycle or piano?"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Cleveland Plain Dealer: Now, when
you ask papa for me, be sure to face him
like man.
You bet L will. He doesn't get any
chance at my back if 1 can help it,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Tit-Bits: Newlywed (proudly)-'I al
ways make it a point to tell my wife
"Poohi That's nothing, / tell my wife
lots of things that never happened
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04
WIT AND HUMoR.

Chicago Record: i've struck better
times already
IN what way?"
MY wife has quit giving me points or
Mrs. McKinley's gowns.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Detroit Journal: Thereupon Civilization
argued with Savagery.
How" it warmly demanded. IF you
wear absolutely no clothes in the morn
ing, can you wear less at evening func-
tions?'
Thus it is that memorable logic beats
down, one by one, the redoubts of super
stition.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

All hail, President Mckinley
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-04

Puck: Either Way.-Flat hunter-"Is
this a spare room or a closet?" Agent
1T depends, madam, on how many you
have in your family
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04

violence of a proiectile launched from a
ca:apult. Both his arms were outstretched
to prevent him from falling. His arms
enciIcied Mr.. Younghusband with hing
that would have done credit to a grizzly
bear.
There was a cracking sound, but not of
Jibs. No: the fat man had hugged both
Mr.. Younghusband anc his little paper
bag, which had collapsed at once. Mr.
Youn ghusband's face was pale, as if with
sudden fear. When the big man drew
away the front OF his coat and vest was
dripping with yellow liquid.
Eggs, EGGS" groaned Mr.. Youncbus-
band.
Eggs" said the fat man, with fierce
frown.
Let me off here" said Mr.. Younghus-
band to the conductor, and he made his
exit hastily.
The conductor glanced at the street
corner.
First time he ever got off at Twelfth
street. he said. with a wink.
The big man looked unutterable things.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04

but there are multiform and multifarious
obstacles In the way of our pursuring
these. Principal among them is, perhaps,
our humanity. The human being who
purposes destiny, who marks out for
himself career, must set this, in meas
ure, aside. He must not be turned from
his way by minor considerations. If he
Is, II he hesitates, he is lost. Perhaps
atout the most any one of us can do is to
move along so as best to get over the
ground without hindering any other one; {;
to do good and communicate forget
not" We find ourselves, after all,
through human fellowship, the fellow
ship OF that which makes us human, and
which We hold from the divine.
1t is the multitude OF personal posses.
sions that makes it possible for US to get
lost. A lost bee, away from the wealth
and possessions of the hive, is sorry
sight. Ants sometimes get lost, and can
not find their way back to the hid treas
ures OF grain and cattle (for ants keep cat.
tle) and millet seeds, and not even the
sluggard could grow wise considering tn e
ways OF lost ant. But who can CONCEIVE
OF lost bird? He cannot be lost, for the
whole realm of the air is his. He makes
long journeys by night ana rests by day
among his trees. The world is his, IN
general, and therefore he is always at
home. Not one tree of it is his in per-
sonal. and therefore ne is free, and wher.
ever ne is he holds his title by natures
gilt, "ln fee simple alb olute."
ADELINE KNAPP.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
Sad Result of a
Sudden Hug.

A very amusing occurrence alternately
delighted and saddened a crowd of pas
sengers on an electrician OF the Mission
street line few nights since. About 6
O'Clock or little later the cars are
nightly crowded. The passengers stand
as thick as sardines in a box inside and
on the outside of the cars many, often
standing on the platforms. Men and
women are wedged, with their satchels,
bags and bundles, into a close mass sway
ing back and forth in unison as the car
starts or stops. Within the last few
nights young husband. whose name it
would be cruel to print. has been getting
on car about 6 P. NJ. between Third and
Fourth streets and riding out to the
vicinity of Twentieth
There he alights and goes home like a
new and dutiful husband, laden with
delcacies to please his wife. On the
night OF the occurrence herewith re-
corded Mr.. Young ghusband had in his
hand small paper bag, which he ham
died very gingerly in eetting in among
the crowd. He secured a place in the
back part of the car near the unused
motor. In the narrow space between the
seats were two other persons, the con-
ductor and large and joviai man, who
had evidently been drinking. The car
suddenly starting and stopping, caused
the large man to lurch about like small
boat in heavy cross sea, but he managed,
nevertheless, to keep his feet very well for
a time.
By and by the car stopped to let off a
mother and three young children. Some
time was consumed in getting this pre-
cious human cargo out. The mother was
slow, the children slower, and the crowd
i'm peded. The car was late and both the
motorman and the conductor were pain
fully aware of the fact. They fretted and
fumed and were ready to start up with a
rush as soon as that was permissible. The
conductor rang the bell; the motorman
turned on the power.
Were off," chuckled the inebriated
man.
Good" said Mr.. Youngh husband, look
ing at mis- watch and thinking of the wait
ing teatable and trim form OF the wife.
Clang! clang! clang! Some foolish per-
son tried at this minute to cross the track.
The motorman pulled up with great sud-
denness.
Forward lurched the big man with the
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04

and deuce with East and plays jack, false
card, in order to confuse East and induce him
TO win the trick with queen; as a matter of
fact this is just what East did, but we have
changed the play to better illustrate the point
under consideration; East can place the ten
and seven with North and knows that If he
overtrumps he must lose both the other
tricks by leading up to North's tenace; he
therefore undertrumps and North is COM PEELED
to give up both of the last two tricks 10 East.
Cavendish a Short-Suiter?
The whist editor of the New YORK Evening
Post, Mrs. Margaretta Witherell Wallace, gives
the short-suiters a hard nut to crack in re-
cent issue of that journal. She says:
Perhaps the boldest OF the many impudent
claims of the short suffers is that they have
sort of patent right to the exclusive use of the
strengt henins card. Presuming that the whist
world at large is not conv rsant with the litera-
ture and history OF the game, they have had the
andaciiy to lay claim to this lead as an invention
of their own. Now, one has only TO e familiar
with the contests of Cavendish 10 know that this
especial subject is treated exhaustively page
"a of the twenty-tirst edition of that volume.
under the heading. LEAD the Highest OF Nu-
mericaly Weak suit"
The twenty first edition Of CAvendish was pub
lished in 1898, Two three years before the pres
ent shortsuiters bad been heard Of aud the propo-
time at that date being found in earlier edi-
tions The exact words of the writer this sub
ject follows: sWh hen IL Is your fate to open
a numerically weak suit your object should be to
do as little harm as possible You cannot expect
TO win many tricks, so you must do ali you can
assist or strengthen THE italics are the authors
your partner by leading high strengthening
cards for by leading the highest of suit numeri-
caly weak you take the bes- hance OF keeping the
strengt In your partners hand should happen to
hold II. Yon will not often be orve4 open weak
suit originally one of your suits contain
many as four cards. But II turn out that
your four-card suit is composed of very small
caros Indeed, in which you might prefer to
open suit containing better cards. though numer-
icaiiy weaker" The attention of ,he reader is at
tracted 10 the worIs, "You will not Of en- be driven
10 open weak SUIT originally" for in them lies
the keyDo-e of the whole situation. The short
suffer ms sts that who ever opens suit In
the manner here authorized by Cavendsh (the
great m aster OF the long-suit game) becomes at
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
April.


Tournament play win proceed every Mon
day, Wednesday and Saturday evenings during
the month of April, 1897, the nights on which
prizes will be played for being as follows:
Monday. April 5 and 10: Wednesday, April
Ia and FL. Two prizes will be played for on
each OF these evenings, the couple making the
highest score above the average (handicap
deducted) winning. An individual prize will
De given TO the person making the highest
aggregate above the average for ali Monday,
Wednesday and Saturday evening play.
There will be contest for teams of four on
Saturday evening, April 10, the members of
the team making the highest aggregate score
after deducting one-half the aggregate handi-
caps previously imposed, each winning prize.
Tuesda- afternoon, April 27. ladies will play
consolation whist for two prizes, and to this
game they may invite their whist friends, but
prizes will be awarded to members only. All
other Tuesday afternoons the play will be for
lady members only, they choosing their part
ners and playing for individual record for the
month. Two prizes will be awarded to those
having the highest score for the month.
Whist talks will be given each Tuesday after
noon from 80 to O'Clock, to which ell lady
me mbers are invited.
Each Friday morning at 10 o'clock ladies
will play whist for individual records. Four
prizes will be awarded at the end of each
month.
The committee wish to impress on all men,
bers the fact that whist is played every after
noon and evening in the clubrooms. On
Thursday and Friday evenings the duplicate
games now being run will be continued. The
rooms are for members to use, and they at
liberty to organize among members such
whist games they desire.
Members and strangers not provided with
partners at any game are requested to notify
the member OF the contest committee in
charge of the game, and partners will be pro-
vided as far as possible.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
Easter Flowers.

The roses were the first to hear
The roses trellised to the tomb;
Bring roses-hide the marks of spear
And cruel nails that sealed His doom.
The lilies were the first to see
The lilies on that Easter morn;
Bring lilies-crowned with blossoms be
The head SO lately crowned with thorn.
The roses were the first to hear;
Ere yet the dark had dreamed of dawn,
The faintest rus tie reached their eas;
They heard the napkin downward drawn;
They listened TO the breathing low;
His feet upon the threshold iall.
Bring roses-sweetest buas that blow,
His love the perfume of them all.
The lilies were the first to see;
They, atching in the morning gray,
Saw angels come so silently
And roll the mighty stone away;
They saw Him pass the portals gloom;
He brushed their leaves-oh, happy dover !
Bring lilies-purest buds that bloom,
His face reflected in each flower.
The roses were the first to hear,
The lilies were the first to see;
Bring fragrant flowers from far and near
To match the Easter melodyl
'Rabboni!' be on every tongue
And every heart the rapture share
OF Mary, as she kneels among
The roses and the lilies feir
Clarence UImy in the April Century.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
How Telephones
lire Tickled

Tickling the telephone" is a compare
lively new diversion in San Francisco,
but 1t already has several votaries. The
nlckel-in- the-slot attachment to tele-
phones, which was devised to automat-
lcally register the number of switches, is
the cause. Never manufacturer of COM
plicated mechanism devises burglar
proof safe" but the alert and ingenious
cracksman is found ready to match wits.
The nickelin- the-slot telephones are small
game. but they have prompted local in
genuity to exert itself to 'beat the
game"
There is another application OF the same
sort OF ingenuity which sets the nickel-in-
the-slot music. boxes to going simply by
poklng straw through an aperture. Some
people with scared and hardened con-
sciences have been known to while away
the tedium of waiting for late boat at
the ferries with a Who'll concert of the in
strumental sort provoked and provided
wholly through the use of straw. But
the nickel-in-the-sIot telephones cannot
be "tickled with straw" as Shakespeare
prophetically wrote. 1t is necessary 10
have something which will start the
"buzzer" like falling nickel.
Don't you want to use the telephone?"
was question which surprised CALL re-
porter yesterday.
Why" was asked in response.
"Oh, perhaps you'd like to test our in
ven;ion," was the answer.
With this the person who was so free to
offer the use of the telephone brought out
nickel soldered on the end of long
wire. He took tho "phone" from the
hook and listened to hear the telephone
girl say, drop nickel, please"
When this familiar utterance was made
he smiled maliciously and inserted the
nickel and the wire in the slot and
pushed down. The machine buzzed and
the expefimenter was compelled to ask
some questions of the person at the other
end OF the wire as a penalty. This may
explain much irrelevant conversation
that goes on over the telephone lines.
These practices have led telephone man
ayers TO threaten to discontinue the use
OF the slot machines.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
Fisher Ames on the Whist Laws.

NO name amo lg the whist-players of this
country is better known than Fisher Ames'.
He is without doubt one OF the leading whist
authorities of :he world, and whatever comes
from his pen will. command the attention OF
all lovers OF the noble game. The following
letter will be read with great interest:
P. J. Tormey, Chairman Committee on Whist
Lcws-DEAR SIR: IN reply to your favor beg
TO say that earnestly hope the whist code, as
1t stands to-day, WITH be allowed to stand with
out material alteration.
It's in most respects a perpetuation of the
Portland Club code, but improved in several
important respects. II has been the governing
code now for hree or four years and whist
players are used to it. Stability in our laws
is of very great Importance. There may be
points where there is q difference OF opinion,
but there can be no difference as to this 1t is
better that so-called improvements be omitted
than to have the present structure disturbed
The laws as to exposed cards may not be per-
feet, but IL would be very difficult to make
them any more so.
the committee worked for three years over
these laws and considered this matter of cards
liable to be called very carefully / hope the
new committee will go slow. / think how
ever, that one or two verbal changes might be
made 10 advantage and venture to suggest
Them:
Law might read: "a game consists of seven
one," etc
The present language is not definite enough.
Each trick above six counting one' is an in
terpo!ated clause and might be considered as
merely hypothe tical, whereas think it should
be a positive assertion.
Law ID, /: If any card is faced in the pack
omiiiins words except the last" as they are
not only unnecessary, but in conflict with law
IL. II the meaning is that the dealer turns
and thus faces the last card the WORDS are
ftill unnecessary, for the card is not faced in
the pack, nor. in fact, is 1t "faced" at all until
the deal ends by its being turned face up in
accordance with law 13.
Law 16-"Any one dealing" ETC., "may be
stopped before the trump card is turned.
After the trump card has been turned" etc.
The expression latter which" is awkward and
grammatically imperfect. and / think it would
be better TO change it as above
AS you see. these suggestions are merely
verbal. should seriously regret any change
III the substance of the laws and hope none
Will be made. Very truly yours.
FISHER AMEs.
A Nice Point in Trump PLAY.
The following deal was played by the St
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04

The ear of the elephant, like his eve. Is
very small in proportion 10 the size Of the
animal, although the flap of skin which
covers it is often of considerable size.
The hearing of the elephant, however, is
singularly acute.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
WHISTLES.

The whist editor OF THE CALL will not pay
any attention to anonymous communications.
He will always strictly guard the confidence
of writers who don't want their names men
toned In our columns; but to answer anony-
nous letters. he cannot.
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04

A. s. Cooper, the new State Mineralogist,
took possession of the Office on Thursday last
and this years field work is now fairly under
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
vi .|iI!| .AN{|iaI!8||:r1F!HzEE;::;; 8|:r1!zE : J

Paul Club against visiting club. 1t contains
q situation that often arises and that ought to
be grasped by any good player. the play of
undertrumping Ell adversary or refusing TO
overtrump, so as to be left with the tenace
over him, thus making two out OF three tricks
instead of one.
The deal is as follows:
as
GA, @, g., 8, 6
81; 10. 2, ., 3
Ak, O. J. 10, 9 A-A,7,3,2
* w ElGnn'
1-IO,7.3 G-J.s,
5E.5
"A, 8, 5
GA, X, Q. 6. Az
Six clubs trumps. East to lead
The winning card is underscored:
TRICKS. SOUTH. WEST. NORTH r.s-
9..- J % % 90 90 20
4............ a. 81 81 "a %
o........:. 10 lO0 60 80
o".........-. 80 80 40 10
I"............ So 40 80 "a
o.-.-........l 6A INA 2A IA
s".....-...- 9+ 100 90 A
H. O............ nsh kI 61 AZ
80 = a'.'-''-'.--.. 90 kA J% 2+
20 '.'''.''.. 20 - II g..
The San Francisco call., 1897-04-04
Whist at Center1iIIe,

once a short.suiter The absurdity Of this argu-
ment is so apparent that the subject may be dis
missed without fu rther comment.