The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1897-12-16
ETIQUETTE OF TODAY.
Rules Laid Down For the Observance OF
Engaged People.


The amount of chaperonage required
by an engaged couple depends in great
measure upon the length of the engage
ment. IF the time between the an
nouncement of the affair and the mar
riage is very short one, strict rules do
not greatly relax. Should it continue
for long period the frances are allowed
to settle down into kind of jog trot
intimacy, habit accustoming people to
see them about everywhere together,
and no remark is made about it. They
visit each others relatives and are al
lowed to enjoy each other society with
out the restrictions which would still be
in force were the engagement matter
of days or weeks rather than of months.
At any public place of amusement, of
course, the presence of a chaperon is
necessity, but the engaged couple may
walk or ride or cycle together, he may
constantly be at her parents house, and
they may see each other without inter-
ruption. When they dine at the same
house, they are sent into dinner togeth-
er, and they may dance together at a
ball as often as they like. There is
a certain consideration for others nee
essary to the engaged and too often over
looked by them as one Of their duties
To dance exclusively together and to
sit out in corners when they should be
contributing to the general entertain
ment is in very bad taste. Anything
that renders an engaged couple conspic-
uous or forces their sentiments toward
each other under the eyes of the general
public should be carefully avoided.
AS soon as the parents OF the girl
have given their consent to an engage
ment the fiance should at once make his
own relatives aware of the fact, and the
next step is theirs If they are near
enough to do so, they should at once
call on the bride elect and her people,
offering their congratulations and well
coming her into their family. Should
they live at distance, they should lose
no time in writing to the same effect,
and as soon as possible they should in
vite her to come and make them visit.
She must answer their letters with equal
cordiality and, together with her par
ents, return their call After the en-
gagement has thus been ratified by both
sides there should be as little delay as
possible in announcing it to the connec-
tions and friends of both Sides The
girls mother takes the first step in these
matters. An announcement in the pa
pers tells the general public of the event.
During the engagement a certain
amount of tact is often needed to steer
fair course between the claims of the
families on each side. Wise parents
will recognize the fact that it is the
bride elect and her people who come
first under these circumstances and who
have a right to expect the first consider
alton. All arrangements are theirs to
make by rights, and it is only natural
that the bridegroom's people, though
courtesy is due to them, should occupy
somewhat of a position in the back
ground at this particular time. To OBJ
ject to what is usual would be very alb
surd and injudicious.
When the wedding arrangements are
being made, the bridegroom's people
should be the first to be made acquaint-
ed with them. The bride elect should
ask his sisters, or failing those his cous
ms, to act as bridesmaids with her OWE
sisters or girl friends, and all his rela
tives should be made to feel that they
are the chief guests of the occasion
| They should be informed of arrange
| ments and consulted on any minol
| points in which their taste or preferences
| may have a voice. These little details
are trifles i'll themselves, but show cour
| tesy of feeling and are likely to have {
| good effect in cementing the relations
| between both families