The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1897-11-09
downright. 1897. by cl--k Rrssen.l


the Empire that | made up my mind to
knock off the sea. We was homeward
bound from Adelaide, and | vas keep.
ing a lookout one black night OF the
eok'sle, when, there coming II yelling
spit of soaking blast slap into my face,
I lifts up my fist and brings it down on
the rail. For more than 20 year had l
nsed the sea, and what was it como to?
An old chest, two or three shifts Of
rags, "a pair of sea boots and, G'help me,
no more. Through the i~mpTovidence of
the sailor? By thunder, then, no!
What's Providence got to do with such
n withered life as the ocean? Saving
means getting, and where in niggers is
the getting to be found where it's all
living hard, faring hard, dying hard
and going to hell after all?
Beef you could chisel into snatch
blocks, pork too foul to grease your
boots with, kicks and curses aft, wet
and famine forrards-is it good enough?
With a fok'slo so full of fired Dutch
men-why, when they hoist the Eng
lish red ensign the flags tho bitterest
lie since Annynius and Sophia.
But how was l to get u living ashore?
That was tho question that occupied
my attention when l walked them decks
in solitude. I'd say to my mates, "What
'ud you do if you knocked OFF," and
some was for going to sea again, and
the rest was for the work'us. I'd seen
SO little Of life ashore that | couldn't
guess how men got their living. What
was a merchant? He was Il covey who
traded. What was u clerk? He was a
covey who sat on n stool and wrote in
n book. No use of my laying a course
for the likes of that, My taste went to
the country, deep inland. l fancied I'd
like to get a job under a market garden
er. I'd feel pleased when l thought of
reaping wheat and cutting down grass,
Of going home at shutdown on top of a
wagon load of hay, the air sweet as
nuts, and sitting down to q bursting
blowout Of ale and roasted apples and
bread and cheese. go away, salt
water!" I'd think then.
/ was about 30 years old and looked
45. Lobscousell serve you measlier than
weather, They say Il weak heart paints
the nose blue, which colors the spirits.
Soup and bully's worse than n decayed
vital, and if you leave your teeth in the
mess kid how many spOonfuls Of peas
soup do it take to raise Il wrinkle?
The ship duly arrived, and |, along
with the rest, was paid off. There was
% months wages to take up, so | had
scope to ride by. l took q lodging at 3
Bromley street, Commercial road, and
spent f2 in a landgoing rig out. Then
/ was at a loss. The name of the land
1n1- ,,nn Me-, D1o~ -- -. -.
hand was a waterman. Meeting her one
day i'll the passage as | was going to
take a turn to look about me, L says:
Il should like to have q short yarn
with you, missis, if you've got a
minute"
Certainly, sir, " she
Don't sir me, l beg" says l. "I'm
no dog"
She steps me into a bit of a parlor,
close with careful keeping. There was
a little looking glass over the mantcl-
shelf, bound in yaller gauzc, with oys-
ter shells for occasional ornaments, and
a glass case, with q stuffed bird, in the
front window.
"Can l sit?" says I.
why, yes" says she, smiling. "It
can't hurt YOU"
1 put down my cap and took a chair
and says: Mrs. Bloomcr, I've been a
Sailorman all my life and have come
ashore to find a job, meaning to stop
ashore. I've got a few pounds and can
hold out for some time, and | want you
to tell me how l ought to go to work"
whats your age?" says she, looking
me over.
/ told her.
"There's many situations a-going, 1"
says she, land q handy man ought never
to want for a job Why not turn water.
mann"
mo more water for me-" says |,
Light porter, - says she.
Thought she meant something 70
drink.
Can you drive a 'orse?"
II don't fancy driving" says L.
Look ere, Mr.. Pooley," says she,
your chanco'll lie in advertising
Write out a little piece for the papers.
It'll cost you about 3 or a shillings to
put in. Answers'n come, and you can
pick and choose"
allowed this to be up to the
knocker, and in that same room she
and me made out this advertisement:
"a sailorman wants a Job He is an
all round hand, useful anywhere and
any time, being accustomed to q calling
that runs a days work into "a hours
n pays no overtime wages. Address
William Pooley, 2 Bromley street, Com.
mercial road, E."
When Bloomer came home that night,
he recommended me to put the piece in.
tn the paper which says it has the lar.
gest circulation in the world This 1 did
next day-forget the cost Valuing it
ir pints Of beer, call it four gallons.
Am q slow hand at reading, and it took
me a smothered long time to spell
through the advertisements on the day
when the piece i had wrote was to an.
pear. At last down in q corner I spies
my name.
who's a-going to see this2'.' says l
to Mrs. Bloomer. putting my finger
upon it.
1T do look Insignificant, certainly"
'WEo the blooming blazes Is a.going
TO see itP" says L, a-bringing down my
hst.
"You never can tell" sayn Mrs
Bloomer.
I went out for q turn that afternoon
and sat for q spell with IN old shipmate
that had brought up in the homo, in
Well street. He had said to me:
you'll never get rid of it, Bill. Der