davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
MARSHALL p. WILDER.
A slpetch OF the Little Humorist az Writ
ten by Himself

A Sketch OF the Little dumOrBU oo WIN .
ten by Himself
Twas born nine years after Bill Nye,
IN the state Of New York. At one year
made kick, and my father moved me
from out Of the state into the CITY OF
New York. My father, being physi-
clan. later took me to Hartford for my
health, where began to laugh and
grow fat. I have been laughing ever
since.
NV first partner in the funny business
| was the red headed SON Of the jailer In
Hartford. He played Buffalo Biu-the
only one who ever played the part with
red hair, but that was his conceptton OF
Il, We made money. Our stage was the
scaffold, which was kept in the garnet.
except when there was hanging, wnen
we took off the play.
On returning to New York city,
found myself without the red headed
friend and without means. For time
| I buried my talent in Bradstreet's
agency as file boy at 90 per week. /
mixed in so many jokes with my WORK
that the letters didn't read seriously
enough. Then I went to England and
waited for things to come my way:
They came In walk, while the $sO !
had left kept going in trot. ! found
that living in a small hall bedroom
made me narrow minded, SO ! staid out
In the park several nights to give my
self room, as we'll as to air my repertoy.
> / concluded 1t was weak IN me to bury
nv gifts simply because I was In hare
+ luck, SO began series OF free enter
g taiuments and became SO popular that
8 began taking three cups Of coffee day
= instead Of one, as heretofore.
Among those who took advantage
: the cheap prices was the Prince O
! Wales. Il cost him nothing to laugh, 81
" he laughed. Several people wanted t
=, y know what he was laughing at He re
- piled, "That." I had told joke abou
g the mother in-law which struck tn
10 lost chord in the princes heart an
woke up responsive, sympathetic pane
. have been charging all could get &c
nv services ever since. Being Repuf
- lican, struck myself off the free lis
= as I no longer consider myself raw ms
~, terial.
=; ~ For several years now have been
II this city, am known by nearly all IL
No street car drivers, who never fail to hui
me up before I get off.
.osl MY family consists of my fathe
,n whose constant, patient companion l an
~ In retaliation for my "gags" he pra
- tices daily his school of homeopatiI
ho on me. It is hard to tell which gets Il
~ worst of it. We have as many rooms
we wish, but only one home. His he'
is silver-heart gold. We are pals.
:. In this autobiography I have, in n
. shrinking way, left out most OF n
mo strong points, as is becoming at su
times. Yet, if have unjustly slandt
Wy ed myself, there be others who have t
az right to set me square before an OF
" ragged public. Far be it from me to
I'LL myself Justice. The end. Merrlly you
Marshall P. Wilder in Empire MI
'AS | aZine
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
WHY He's Backward.

81 aorder, . e.;id the sweet young
thing, "why nan is always scared
WHEN he proposes?'
"Tliat," said the chronic bachelor,
IS his guardian angel trying 70 hold
him beck ~ Indianapolis Journal
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

COMMISSIONERS OFFICE,
" Staunton. Va. August Is, lo91
Smiley and wife,
vs..
Thomas and wife.
All parties interested in the above entlCleQ
cause pending in chancery in the circuit court
of Augusta county, Va, TAKE NOTICE, that
I. pursuant to decree entered in said cause
on the 18th day of May, 1897, shall at my ONCE
In the city of Staunton, Va, on
Saturday, the 18th day of Sept. 1897.
proceed to take, state and settle an account
showing the transactions of W. E. Craig, as
special commissioner in this cause, his coiiec.
lions and his disbursements, and any other
facts deemed pertinent by me or required by
any party in interest to be stated:
' j. NJ. QUARLES.
Com. in Ch'y. OF Cir. ct. Of
aug 194t Augusta w.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

COMMISSIONERS OFFICE, 700,
u Staunton, Va, Aug. lltn, 1884,
McCutchan'S Widow, etc.
VS..
MuCutchan's Heirs, etc.
All persons Interested IN the "a ABOVE Dove
chancery cause will TAKE NOTICE, tlae IN pur-
snsnce OF a decree of the Circuit Court OF Au-
1IIste county, entered i'll said cause on Nay
29th. 1897, shall at my office in Staunbon, a..
on
Friday. the 18th day of September 1881
proceed to take, state and settle the FOLLOWING
ist. The transactions of R. F. Thompson
admir- of E. A. McCutchan; dec1. ,,.c,,+o,
on died. seized and possessed in Auguste
county, together with the condition OF Ine
| title thereto the fee simple and annual fen1a
| Value thereof and the liens binding the sam'
| in the order Of their priority.
of" r E. r. NELSON,
Commissioner in Cbancery.
| WI Jandes. u. q, aug 124t
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
A Eost.on Eattie.

Fuddy--Gorgon is & man OF resources.
Whenever / call at his house be begins
,o ISL, me profound questions. He does
IL to please his baby, confound hlm'
Daddy Please lis baby?
Fuddy-Ee rattles me, you knoW.-
Boston Transcript.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
A Fad Error.

.Eear about Casey givin tn Dootch-
,,lcn tli' black eye?
"Oi did rot Fwy was 1ts'
eth Doo,chman tllried to call casey
y peach, but tould him he was an
orange. '~Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
A Fact Explained.

According to Beaconsfield there is
No edrcaticn like adyersity."
"Perhaps that accounts for the fact
that SO many Of our most prosperous
neopIe have no grammar. "-Cleveiano
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Hard Work.

.What was the hardest work you ev-
sr did for livirg?" asked the beneVo-
lent old lady of the weary pilgrim.
"Stealin, mum. detroit Free Press
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Esarylsos.y says So.

-Ccace-o,s Candy ci:st.,artic, the most won
ae,f1,i medical disco, erv ct the age, pleas
ant AID refreshing to the taste, act gently
and positively u. Kidneys iver ard bowels
~ ae atirf Is ~, disi'ei eoi4an,
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

No. 9,-Daily-Local for Charlotte anu in0e'
mediate Stations.
No. 35-Daily United STATES r. na focWsnn.
vile Via savannah; to Atlanta, and New Ur
leans, Connecting at Salisbury for Asn Tnn
and at Charlotte for Augusta.
No a7-Daily-washingto and SoqtnWesI,
e,n oyest.buied Limited; through Pul Mash'
Sleepers to Ashevlle, Hot springs ano Nast to
T VILE. Via Savannah and Jacksonville 20
Mempphis, Via Atlanta and BirminghaMm oh ana
To New Orleans. via Montgomery anu MT Eirst
Hining Car Greensboro to Montgomery rhs'
Class Day Coaches on all trains.
Trains from Staunton by chesapeake any ~
Ohin Halfway connect in Uniun Sta0loh d
charlottesville with Southern hy. traihs'
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Scott
Emulsion

Of Cod-liver Oil with Hypo-
phosphites, will makepoorb blood
rich. It is a food for over-taxed
and weak digestion, SO prepared
that It can easily be taken in
Knnmer when Cod-liver Oil or
zsaordinary foods might repeL
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26
Poor Blood

Is starved blood. II shows itself
IN pale cheeks, white lips, weak
digestion, no appetite, exhaus-
ton, lack of nerve force, soft
muscles, and, chief Of all, weak
muscles. Your doctor calls It
Anaen,ia. He will tell you that
the weakening weather Of SUM
mer often brings 1t on.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

Train 4Os connects with Southern X K. at
Harrisonpurg at 90 q. m. Tor StraSDnrS Junc
ton and Harper's Ferry Division.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-26

Train AT connects with Southern r. r. at
Strasburg JUG ctioD at IL so p. m. for Harrison
burg and points Oh Valley Railroad.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1897-07-03
law was Flying Thick and
Fast in Baraga This
Week.
aCoUITTAL IN BOTH CASES.
II Now Remains To BE Seen
What the Next Move
Will BE.

For some time there has been
hut little excitement in justice
courts in Baraga, but this week
the strong arm of the law was
swinging in regular Fitzsim-
mons STYLE, and when the smoke
cleared away it was found that
no one was hurt-eXcept possibly
tbe feelings of the two persons
directly interested.
About two months ago Michael
Kelly was arrested by Marshal
Fleming on the charge of being
drink. At the trial Kelly was
acquitted by a jury \ few days
thereafter he was again ar
rested, the complaint this time
being carrying concealed weapons,
The case came up for trial Tuesday
before Justice Feore and jury,
and after considerable testimony
had been taken and the attorneys
had concluded their arguments.
the jury made quick work Of
the case by rendering a verdict
Of mot guilty.
1t was then Kellys turn at the
bat. He commenced civil suit
against Fleming, charging that
at the time of his (Kelly > first
arrest, Fleming took, among
other things. S6J from him, which
he did not return. This case
came up for trial before Justice
orms5y and u jury Wednesday
morning. and was holly contested
on both sides The entire day
and early part OF the evening
was consumed in taking the
testimony Of various witnesses.
and hearing the arguments Of
counsel, About II o'clock p. IN,
the jury rendered a verdict of no
cause for action
1t is as yet unknown what the
next move will be, but it Is
believed that the end is not yet,
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1897-07-03
FREE PILLS.

Send your address to III. +. Bucklen x
Co. Chicago. and get free sample box
of Di. Kings New Life Pills A trial
will convince you Of their merits. These
pills are easy in action aud are particu-
arly effective IN the cure OF Constipation
aud Sick Headache. For Malaria aud
Liver troubles they have been proved in
valuable. They are guaranteed to be
perfectly free from every deietcItouS
substance and To be- purely vegetable.
They DO no. w,aieu hy their action, but
bv giving tone 10 stomach and bowels
greatly invIgorote the Sstrm. Regular
Size CSC. per box. Sold by ). 1. Harris,
Druggist.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1897-07-03
LOCAL ITEMS.

Additional Blraga news on page
four Of this issue.
For choice potatoes call at ]. III
Mcdonald ; store.
Patrick aud Frank hester were
at Marquette Thursday.
Mr.. and Mrs. S. p. GRAY were
calling on l. Anse friends Wednes-
day.
Joseph Saam, of Allouez. is visit
ing at the home of his uncle, John
Funke.
The principal enter.ainm mt in
'own this week was two law suits
injustice court.
The Baragas will play the Hough
Ion ball team at Houghton -tomor-
row and Monday.
L'Anse cordially invites the
people of Baraga II join in the
Fourth OF July celebration and
picnic TO be held there Monday.
The new fence around the
cemetery is now completed. The
contract was awarded to ). L.
tray and the fence, in length, con
tanned 1000 feet. The lumber and
plcEetS used in its construction
We're manufactured at the Baraga
planning mill.
A number Of prospectors from
st. Paul, New York City and
buffalo have been prospecting
east OF Silver Mountain for the
past two weeks. and have found
nne specimens of gold and silver
quartz 1t is understood that con
Siderable land in that vicinity was
purchased by eastern capitalists
several years ago. The exact
results of the explorations are
as yet "a secret. but before
iong further facts may be OBJ
tanned.
The council has been asked to
render little financial aid to the
baraga Hose Co, and the request
should meet with a hearty ;ni
Sneerful response. Baraga has a
hrst-class volunteer fire company,
which is not only a credit to the
,own, but is an absolute necessity
i m the protection of properly.
Inc boys are worthy of, and justly
entitled, to helping hand from
.ne village fathers, and also
from every property owner. There
may be such thing as a man
working for nothing and boarding
himself, but our volunteer tiremen
should not be expected to work
.or nothing. spoil their clothes,
ana then go down in their pockets
sod pay for the privilege of doing
80. Stand by your firemen. They
;'and by you when your property
is in danger.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1897-07-03

Do not be deceived by closing out
sale announcements, bat call at my
store. where better bargains are Of
ferel in all lines of goods every day
in the year / am here to stay.
have the largest and finest stock of
goods To select from, and my prices
are the very lowcpt
WM. kITZ. Baraga. Mich.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1897-07-03
Wick O'Connell was down from
Hancock yesterday.

Wick O'Connell was down from
Hancock yesterday.
Ernest Klein, who formerly
clerked in Louis Grabower's store
IN this city, but now residing al
Republic, spent Sunday in town.
There was meeting of the village
council Thursday evening. The
cemetery committee was authorized
to have an ordinance drafted regard
ing the sale of cemetery lots.
Richard Field, while handling a
large pane of window glass yester-
day, had the misfortune to cut
his right wrist. The wound is "a
bad one, and required several
stitches by physician.
Attend Miss X. Wallis closing
out sale of spring and summer mil
linery at costfor the next ten days,
at her parlors on Broad street,
l. Anse.
Renwick, of Red Jacket, will
pitch for the Baragas at the ball
games at Houghton Sunday and
Monday. The Baragas have also
secured the services OF noted
pitcher from Chicago, who will
arrive here in the course of week
or two.
Ben Coil met with quite an
accident Sunday, and he can be
thankful that he escaped serious
injury. In the afternoon while
ri ling a bicycle down Pennock
avenue he lost control of the
wheel and was thrown several
feet in the air, and struck the
ground with considerable force.
Fortunately no bones were broken,
but the wheel, however, was badly
wrecked. and was shipped to Lake
Linden for repairs.
S. p. Gray, of this city, was the
lucky receiver of silver medal
as IA reward of genius, given by
John Wedderburn Il Co. patent
attorneys OF Washington, at their
last monthly award of prizes for
inventions. The invention per-
fected by Mr.. Gray, for which a
patent is pending. is book holder
or support to be attached to the
shelving of book cases or
library shelves. 1t is indeed a
handy contriyance and promises to
meet with big demand In the
government library at Washing
ton the shelving. If arranged in
one continuous line. would eX-
tend forty-thrce miles. and if one
Of the devices perfected by Mr.
Gray should be attached to each
shelf, it would require over $4,000
TO equip the library,
James j. Byer>, Capt G., f.
lDbott>on, OF this city, accompanied
by two gentlemen from the copper
country, went to the Sturgeon
river Saturday last on fishing
expedition. returning Monday.
Judging from results, they evident
~ had good luck, as they brought
back over 800 brook trout.
Tae only unpleasant feature of
the trip was when the party
desired to cross certain portion
of the river As the water was
too deep to wade a light pole
raft was constructed to convey
them across. Capt. Ibbottson
has spent many years sailing the
great lakes, but positively re-
fused to board such u frail boat
and contented hinsef with fishing
where he was, even though the
tinny tribe were rather scarce at
that particular point. The other
gentlemen, however, made the trip
across in safetv
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1897-07-03

The senate Wednesday cut the
duty of - on white pine lumber to
81. the vote standing 81 10 81
The evening times., 1897-08-09
HAT HINTS.

A large shape in white chip with
very nig,, crown forms a picturesque hat.
Around the crown is white MORE ribbon,
which forms at the left side in a bow and
from this spring five white tips. bunch
Of pink roses nestles against the hair under
the brim at the left side.
a Lowell toque is of dark blue satin straw,
trimmed with soft puffings OF changeable
blue tarfeta silk. In the folds of the silk
in front large blackbird d nestles, an under
the brim in black are rosettes of the silk.
Gold and brown poppies and mahogany
red velvet trim a sailor hat of pure white
Panama. At the back of the hat rising
from ends and loops of velvet, is placed
a white pigeons wing.
A white straw sailor hat that may be
worn with an Eton or blazer suit of blueJ
canvas is very simple and dainty in its
gamiture. EIcircling the crown are blue5
tulle rosettes set with a Rhinestone pin,
and in front, at each side, rises a pair Of
white wings. Small tulIe rosettes are set
under the brim at the back.
Mode straw forms an Amazon hat that
is in unusually good style. Cream lace wells
the brim and shaded mode and green COG
feathers are about the crown, those at the
left side being punched TO stand upright.
Black straw forms the brim facing and this
sets off very well the two lunches of red
poppies at the back. Philadelphia Record
The evening times., 1897-08-09

While Spain is mourning over a great
calamity, the situation in Cuba is develop
ing in "a manner which will have the
sympathy OF all friends OF constitutional
government as Gen. woodford says. On
Friday and Saturday, the brigadcs of
Gen. Delgardo and Col. Aranguen again
attacked the suburbs of Havana, and drove
the Spanish columns sent to meett them, back
TO the fortiIications with heavy loss. On
Saturday, Marquis Ahumeda ordered an
assault on Delgardo's position az the neigh
boring town OF Arroyo Apollo but it failed
TO dislodge linn, and the attacking division
returned with the loss OF many killed and
wounded, and without large number of
effective troops who had deserted TO the
Republic, with their arms and ammunition
Other engagements occurredin theoemetery
OF Colon on the outskirts, and In the i'm
mediate suburb OF La CLorrera Indica-
lions II ultiply that the patriot army is
concentrating and naneuvering preparatory
to an attack in force, and the greatest ter
ror prevails in weyler's capital. The sus-
picion is beginning to grow in Havana that
the Hyena has known the real object OF
attack to be Havana and not Matanzas.
way when the assault takes place.
The evening times., 1897-08-09
Some Sweeping Rema rks.

When sweeping day comes around GO
not attempt to 10 too much at once put
do n certain amount very thoroughly.
If YOU have two rooms TO sweep do not
upsct hotl rooms at once. but finish one
before you begin the other.
Firs.. remove all ornamenta from hu-
reau and tables; dust each article care
fully; place in q safe place and cover.
Next, roll up the shades and enyelop
each curtain in a bag suitable for this
purpose.
Brush all furniture carefully, and re-
move as many OF the small pieces from
the room az possible, covering all that
remain.
Tear ur several newspapers and cover
the pieces with water for a few noiEents:
next shake the moisture from them, and
scatter the pieces over the floor; this will
prevent cloud OF dust from rising. Open
the windows
Carefully remove the dust from the cor
ners with a whsk broom; sweep to the
center, and take up the dust on dust
pan.
Next, open each door, and IL any dust
has sifted under take 1t up on your dust
pan.
Now cover a long handled broom with q
canton flaunel bag, of which you should
have a number provided for this purpose.
Wipe carefully the ceiling and walls, re-
moving the bag and replacing it with a
clean one whenever it is necessary
Baltimore Herald.
The evening times., 1897-08-09
YOUNG WOMAN INJURED.
Badly Battered Up In Fight With
Bartender.

Saratoga, Aug. 9.-Grace Martin, OF
New York twenty eight years OF age, ,swore
out a warrant last night for the arrest OF
luke Finnegan, bartender at Tolnies
Hotel. Saratoga Lake She missed the last
electric car from the lake, having been
misinformed by Finnegan, and started To
find the hotel proprietor TO make com
plaint. Finnegan sought to prevent her.
and she stabbed him with a hat-pin. She
was knocked down and numerically beaten
on tie left side of the face. In trying to
defend herself, she bit her assailants hand
TO the bone. It is believed that Finnegan
then drew "A knife aud cut her twice across
the forehead
The noise of the struggle attracted the
attention OF Tolnies, who came downstairs
and stopped Finnegan. Miss Martin was
taken to a physicians office, where the
cuts in her head were sewed up. IL was
found that her nose was broken, that the
left side of her face was beaten almost
to a jelly, and that pair OF diamond car
rings had teen torn from her ears, taking
sorI.e OF tie flesh with them. Her money
was also gone.
The evening times., 1897-08-09

Under less critical conditions, We should
have been inclined to think that all parties
would join in a demand that the memory
Of the dead premier be vindicate,i, by
carrying out the policy to which he was
committed. 1t happens, however, that his
ministry was on ITS last legs, and that the
accession TO power of the Liberals could
only have teen a matter OF a few months
at most. Spain has been on the verge Of
two revolutions, Carlist and Republican,
since early in the spring. Now it may be
thought that at least the latter can be
averted by accepting Liberal government.
Leading American statesmen appear to
think that th ? Queen Regent VIII place the
Interests of the monarchy in the hands Of
senor sagasta, and that, for the moment,
the Conservatives will do what they can
90 support him. The situation is 80 COM
plicated between home and foreign perilS,
that almost anything could happen, even
the declaration of a republic, without
5ustifying mucL surprise.
The evening times., 1897-08-09

In considering the conditions Of the day
in spain, one thing should be borne in
mind. For years the real ruling power in
that Country has not been the dynasty, or
either of the chief political parties. 1t
has been and is the house Of Rothschild
IL was the Rothsc hid influence that
kept Cancyas IN power, recalled Marshal
MARTINEZ de Campos from the command In
Cuba, and selected Valeriano weyler as
his successor. Three or four months ago
theCanuvas government would have fallen,
and weyler would have been recalled in
disgrace, but for the mandate OF the
RothschIds. This power behind the throne
Constitutes d prime factor in the Spanish
problem, and its importance could be
minimizeG only by actual popular revolu-
tion. While that can be STAYED off the
great morraagee of European princes and
States will Continue to dictat. govern
ments and policies. As things stand at
present, il is probable that the house may
he willing to chance sagasta and the Lib
erals.
The evening times., 1897-08-09

Perhaps these considerations would not
have been sufficient to keep the De Armttt
miners at work, IL, also, they had not ex-
oellent memories for other matters In
1894 the organization of the United Mine
Workers promised the De Armitt diggers
that il the latter would quit and Join the
strike of that year, they would have
pecuniary support in the shape OF fixed
contribution on every ton of coal mined
after settlement with the operators had
been reached Accordingly. y. they laid down
tfeir tools and " cnt out The strike was
successful, hut the promised assistance
never was forthcoming, and, while all other
coal labor was benefited, these men were
left In the lurch and compelled to get
back as best they could, on any terms
De Armitt might choose to impose. Itmay
he said 10 his credit that he took back most
of his old hands without reduction OF pay
Under these circumstances the effort to
stop production at the mines of the New
York and Cleveland Gas Coal Companys
mines will be watched with much public
interest.