davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1897-02-25
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Scranton Wochenblatt. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1865-1918, 1897-02-25

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The Press., 1897-04-22

An excellent reply was that once made by Yankee pilot to the owner of a Mississippi river steamboat.
 The boat was at New Orleans, and the Yankee applied for the vacant post of pilot, saying that he thought he could give satisfaction provided they were 'lookin for man about his size and build."
 "Your size and build will do well enough" said the owner, surveying the lank form and rugged face of the appli- cant with some amusement, "but do you know about the river, where the snags are and so on?''
 "Well, I'm pretty well acquainted with the river," drawled the Yankee, with his eyes fixed on a stick he was whittling, "but when you come to talkin about the snags l don't know exactly where they are, must say"
 Don't know where the snags are?" said the boat owner in tone of dis gust. "Then how do you expect to get position as pilot on this riverF"
 'Well, sir, said the Yankee, raising pair of keen eyes from his whittling and meeting his questioner's stern gaze with whimsical smile, 'I may not know just where the snags are, but you can depend upon me for knowin where they ain't, and that's where calculate to do my sailin. "-Youth's Companion.
The Press., 1897-04-22
A Hunters Fancy,

The last buffalo killed in Jewell county was on May 23, 1872. A man rode up to the ranch of Columbus Palm CT and reported that he had seen 8 buffalo in draw q mile or two away. Palmer took his dogs and started and thus describes what subsequently, hap pened:
 "The dogs ran on ahead of me, but pretty soon they came tearing back, with big buffalo bull in full pursuit, Galloping Jehosaphatl But that bull did look big as he charged down on me, with his tail in the air and his shaggy head shaking in fury. I tried to move off to one side, but that was no use, for the dogs kept coming toward me which ever way turned. It is said to be i'm possible to kill buffalo which is conn., ing head on, but I saw something had to be done mighty quick, so I dropped to my knee and plugged him square in the forehead. He fell dead in his tracks, and I am now convinced that any man who says a buffalo cannot be shot through the skull is liar. "--Kansaf City Journal. .... .a,
The Press., 1897-04-22
Soap Lye Products.

The methods pursued by Glstz and Lugo for so successfully extracting glyo- erin and soda from soap lye is dcscrib- ed in The Electrical Review. The soar lye which is left in the manufacture of soap represents, of course, a'waste prod uct, and the, process in question enables glycerin and caustic soda to be removed from this soap lye by means of eleo- trolysis. The anode is plate of zinc or carbon in contact with the liquor under treatment. The cathode is in porous pot. The current decomposes the caus- tic soda, forming sodium hydrate at the cathode. The glycerin is set free, while the albuminoid and coloring matters are rendered insoluble and are easily removed by filtration. After this treat ment the insoluble matter is separated out, and the liquid is distilled, forming perfectly pure, clear glycerin, the caustic soda being also practically pure and usable by the loapmaker.
The Press., 1897-04-22
His Little Red Bag,

On the occasion of one of Bishop Coxe's visits to England he was invited to spend a few days in one of the historic rectories of rural England and was ex- pected to preach in the parish church on the intervening Sunday. He carried with him small red bag, which con- tained the smaller accessories of a gen tleman's toilet In the excitement of meeting his friends at the station the bag was forgotten, not being missed un- til he arrived at the rectory. By this time the train was miles away, and the good bishop was in quandary as to what he should do, as the hamlet was too small to supply such deficiencies His friends provided for his immediate wants and assured him that he would have no trouble in securing the truant bag, as the railway system of looking up lost parcels was so very perfect
 In this instance these hopes proved, however, fallacious, as the bag was as elusive as the pot of gold our childhood believed to have been at the end of the rainbow Telegrams were dispatched and letters sent, but the bag had always just gone when they were received Like Evangeline's lover, as soon as it was heard from it had just moved on to a fresh obscurity Finally the bishop dismissed it from his mind and in due time returned to America.
 One day during the following summer an express wagon drove up to the bish- ops house, when, eurekal there was the long lost little red bag, it's contents in perfect order. It had come on it's long journey with only little tag attached, simply addressed to Bishop Coxe, Del. aware avenue, Buffalo, New York, United States of America "-George Alfred Stringer.
The Press., 1897-04-22
Minnesota's vest=ess.

In Minnesota and the two Dakotas there are areas of more than 200 square miles with population of only eight to the square mile. Speaking of Minnesota, the Minneapolis Tribune says: "Minne- sota alone is larger than all New Eng land, and a much larger proportion of the land is tillable. Of the 53, 450, 900 acres in this state, only 5,0O0,0 900 are now cultivated. If peopled as densely as Ohio, Minnesota alone would have a population of z, 300, 900. There are said to be a million lakes in Minnesota, and these are fed or drained by innumerable streams, not to mention the mighty Mississippi on the east, the Red River of the North on the west, the Rainy lake water courses on the north, and their great tributaries, which, together, pene- trate nearly every section of our vast territory. ''
The Press., 1897-04-22


 The New York Herald estimates that there are 4 4,O0O,0OO bicycle riders in the United States; that they spend each year on their wheels, bicycling accessories and the excursions they make by reason of being possessed of bicycles, $200, ,000, ,000; that in the 25O wheel factories, employing 7O,O00 persons, $60,0O0,000 are invested i; and that million wheels have been or will be built this season.
 More than IA, ,000 bicyclists passed giv- en point in New York city within 16 hours the other day, and there was probably nothing unusual about that either. There are, likely enough, 100000 riders in the metropolis. New Workers recognize the impression made by all this wheeling in a variety of ways. Undoubtedly the health fulness of the sport decreases doctors fees, for all the occasional accident. So- cial habits are changed. Savings banks note the withdrawal of deposits. The theatrical season is cut short by reason of the new diversion. The horse market is affected, although the effect is just now limited to the cheaper grade of horses.
 Good roads are becoming more numer- ous, and the tailors and clothing dealers find profitable market for the new lines made desirable by wheeling. The infu- ence of the bicycle on our everyday life is tremendous and wide-spreading. The wheel will have to be reckoned with the telegraph, the ocean cable and the tele- phone as factor of importance to the student of human conditions.
The Press., 1897-04-22
Number 4.
she pldn,t Thank Him.

Women say thank you more frequent ly now than formerly when men in crowded street cars give them seats, but sometimes they don't. One didn't the other day when she boarded Broadway car at Fourteenth street She was hand somely dressed and had the manner of one of assured position in the social world. She found all the seats taken and novel with graceful deliberation to the front of the car, where, in the end seat, a man, also well dressed and at ease, was reading a paper. Just as the car came to standstill by reason of 8 block he looked up, and, seeing the woman standing, offered her his seat She took it, and in the hush which had fallen upon the waiting passengers her failure to express thanks or even SO much as bow her head was especially noticeable. The man held the strap he had taken but a moment and then, leaning over toward the woman, as though by way of making a reply, said: "Not at all, madam. You're quite vel come, I'm sure" She blushed slightly and smiled, but furtive glance along the rows of watching faces showed her that all had noticed the rebuke and rec ognized it as such.
 She turned quickly and looked ahead out of the window, but she was a wom- an, and, unable to remain in ignorance of the effect created by the incident, she turned again. All the passengers were looking at her and smiling. When she again looked out of the window, which she did as soon as she could turn her head, the blush had changed to deep scarlet, extending from the collar of her dress to the roots of her hair, When the car had moved ahead for two blocks, she got out, and everybody who remain ed felt sure she will not again accept a seat in a street car without thanking the person who gives it to her.-New York Times.
The Press., 1897-04-22
April 19, 1867.

Apr1l l9, 1897.
 Rev. l.. T. Spaulding of West Stafford has resigned hls pastoral charge to take effect on the first of May.
 The woolen mills in town are all closed, or about closing Those in Staffordville have entirely suspended, that at Hyde vile is running but one set of machinery, and all the others will probably close soon. This makes business pretty dull throughout the town. No one can tell when things will be better, but mannfac- tuners are hoping for favorable change in the market soon.
 Albert N. Davis, formerly from the western part of town, who was accident ally wounded in Springfield by pistol shot last December, died last Sunday. It will be recollected that Davis, who was a clerk of the Massasoit House, was in the act of handing an overcoat to guest, when pistol, which had been carelessly left in the pocket, fell to the floor and exploded from the concussion, wounding Davis in the knee. No bones were in- iured, and the wound was considered slight at the time, but scrofulous humor settled in the wound, preventing it's heal ing and eventually bringing about fatal result. Young Davis was very highly esteemed as an accommodating and gentlemanly clerk. His remains were brought to Stafford for interment.
 UN1oN.-Messrs. Paul and Corbin, the late Republican candidates for represen- tatives from Union, are going to contest the election of Towne and Moore, the Democratic candidates. Towne's ma- jority was three votes and Moore's four, and the contestants claim to have proof that several voted whom MT. Paul, in contesting the election for judge of pro- bate last year, got thrown out, it being clearly proved that they were not quail fled, and never had been, to vote in the town,
The Press., 1897-04-22
1897 CARRIAGES. l891

I shall show after March list the largest stock of Single Carri- ages, Surreys, COncOrds, and Light Vehicles of every descrip- tiOn, I have ever carried, and at lower prices. Carriages from $45 to $15O-Surrey form $7O to $175-COncOrds from $40 to $9O. The work is built to my or der, sold under my guarantee, and will be just as represented. Having sold from 60 to 200 jobs per year for the last 20 years, I will meet any ones prices. I am also prepared to do repairing in all it's branches and at lowest rates.
 JOHN G. WIGHTMAN.
 Stafford Hollow, Feb. 25, 1897.
The Press., 1897-04-22

{, OLD PEoPLE.-Old people who require medicine to regulate the bowels and kid neys will find the true remedy in Electric Bitters. This medicine does not stimu- late, and contains no whiskey nor intoxi. cant, but acts as tonic and alternative, It acts mildly on the stomach and bowels adding strength and giving tone to the or gans, thereby aiding Nature in the per formance of the functions. Electric Bit ters is an excellent appetizer and aids di- gestion. Old People find it just exactly what they need. Price fifty cents and $1.OO per bottle at B. K. Taft's Drug Store.
The Press., 1897-04-22
Would Talk It Dead.

It was shockingly bad manners, of course, for even brother to say such a thing, but she had been exercising sis ter's prerogative of speech all day and had hectored him to death.
 Her name, be it said, is Jeanne-real- ly Jeanne, by virtue of her Huguenot ancestry.
 "Jane, !" said he, ''T wish you would marry a Mormon. It's blot on our na- tional honor, and you'd do more to break it up than all the laws of the United States. ''-New York Herald.
The Press., 1897-04-22
GREAT TRIUMpH.-Instant relief and a

GREAT TRIUMPH.-Instant relief and a permanent cure by the great remedy, Otto's Cure for Lung and throat diseases. Why will you irritate your throat and lungs with hacking cough when E. K. Taft, Stafford Springs, w. P. Fuller, Somers, Odell & Jones, Staffordvllle, sole agents, will furnish you 8 free sample bottle of this guaranteed remedy Its success is simply wonderful, as your druggist will tell you. Sample free, Large bottles soc and 25c.
The Press., 1897-04-22

Spring is full of terrors to all whose constitution is not able to resist the sud- den changes of temperature and other in- salubrities of the season. To put the system in condition to overcome these evils, nothing Is so effective as Ayer's Sarsaparilla Take 1t now.
The Press., 1897-04-22
The Chicago GI0ceII.s
WEEKLY PRICES,

Eg-It will pay you to read them if you have't got money to burn.
 2,40O Parlor Matches. 12c 10 lbs. Quaker Oats, 25e 6 qts. hand-picked White Beans, 25c ? lbs Laundry Starch, 25c 5 gals. 150o Oil, 55c lbs. Mixed Candy, 25o 1 lb. Good Coffee, 20c 1 bbl. Best Haxall Flour, 5.25 doz. 3-lb. cans Fine Table Peaches, 1.20 3 2-lb. cans Corned Beef, 50c can Finest Marrow Peas, loo 8 cans Clans, Little Necks, 25c Greens, Dandelion and Spinach, 20c 30 bars Star Soap, LOO 24 bars Welcome Soap, LOO 30 bars Lenox Soap,' LOO 2S bars Oak Leaf Soap, 100 dog. Shore Mackerel, fine, 1Sc Salmon Trout, fine, per lb., Sc Best Cucumber Pickles, per gal, 23c 3 cans Condensed Milk, 25c packages Best Mince Meat, 25c II lbs. Tody Tobacco, 25c 1 bottle Prime Worcestershire Sauce, 10e 100 lbs. Oyster Shells, 95c Pure Fruit Jams, per lb., Sc gal. Fine Light Molasses, 35c package Soapine Washing Powder, 9c CHICAGO GROCERY,
 STAFFORD SPRINGS.
The Press., 1897-04-22
There is a Class off PeonIe

Who are inured by the use of coffee. Recently there has been placed in all the grocery stores a new preparation called GRAIN-0, made of pure grains, that takes the place of coffee. The most delicate stomach receives 1t without distress, and but few can tell 1t from cofTee. It does not cost over < as much. Children may drink 1t with great benefit. 15 cts. and 26 cts. per pack age. Try it. Ask for GRAIN-O,
The Press., 1897-04-22
Luck tO Ships.

The workers at Barrow -on- -Furness make it point of carrying black cat in every ship that is built there. They consider that this brings luck to the shin.
The Press., 1897-04-22

"At Baalbec, in a quarry, lies a mag nlicent column, the largest worked stone
 in the world, almost detached and ready for transportation. In the ruined Temple of the Sun nearby is niche still waiting for it after forgotten centuries. So large, so grand, yet a failure, because it never filled the place for which it was quarried and hewn." Thus I read in an exchange and my mind turned in thought to the waiting niches in this world-niches of usefulness, heroism, righteousness. The unused column may represent the possi- hilities in human life; the empty niche, the opportunities. And I can think of no more potent blight arresting the hand of the architect and builder who would complete the column and set it, perfected in it's own place, than the passion for strong drink. See the lives that never fulfilled the bright possibilities before them. How much worse is this human wreckage than the quiet waiting of the unfinished colun n in the quarry! That is waiting! It may yet subserve noble purpose. These are was ed; they carry the blight and pass it on, fo1 this is the wreckage of pillar of life that should have taken it's place in divine temple.
The Press., 1897-04-22

Great extents of country have been planted with fir and juniper trees by the thrushes and other small birds which feed upon the seed.
The Press., 1897-04-22

Four young men were arrested and fined $15 each in Bangor, Me-, last week for chewing gum and whispering in church. -----
The Press., 1897-04-22
ITEMS FROM THE STAFFORD
 NEWS LETTER.

1t is our intention to print under this head from week to week, items of interest from the old Stafford News Letter.
The Press., 1897-04-22

The digit, Hebrew measure of length, was little over nine- -tenths of an inch. It was taken from the second joint of the right forefnger.
The Press., 1897-04-22

The football field is called gridiron because of it's shape and markings, and not because the game so often ends in a broil.
The Press., 1897-04-22
HOW IS THIS

Just received, lot of Haxall Flour, which will sell for Five Dollars 8 Barrel.
 Also Molasses at 25c, 35c and 45c. ?illsbury Flour, $5.45 St. Louis Diadem, 5.25
 Coffee, 2Oc., 25c., 3Oc., S5c., 4Oc. lb.
 Tea, black, 3Oc., 4Oc., 5Oc., 6Oc. "
 '' green, 3Oc., 4Oc., 5Oc., 6Oc. < Grandma's Pancake Flour (3p'k'gs), 25c. Pork, per lb., Sc. Tomato Catsup, pint bottles, 18c. Pickles, per gal, 2Sc. Can Tomatoes, for 25c. !" Corn, 8" 25c Cookies, your choice per lb., Sc. Quaker Oats, lbs. for 25c.
 GEO. BAILEY.
The Press., 1897-04-22

What is needed to crush the itinerant vendor more than law is campaign of education. When once the people know the advantage of buying goods of home dealers, of responsible dealers, from who they can get rebateif the goods sold are not what they arc represented to be, they will be less ready to dicker with strangers at the door, who may swindle them and to whom they cannot look for redress, or of transient persons with bankrupt stocks who turn off their goods regardless of cost" and usually regardless of their value to the buyers.
 The right of requiring these itinerant m rchants to take out license is not dis puted, and to make them pay literally for them has long been in vogue and should be continued. A license system aids in keeping the itinerant dealers down to the minimum and in degree lessens their profits. The mistake is in attempt ing to make a license fee legal which is prohibitive in effect. This cannot be done for greater length of time than 1t will require to take a case to the supreme court, because it is unconstitutional and it ought not to be attemped.
 Since the agitation of this question was begun in Norwich eight or ten years ago there has been great falling off in travel ing merchants, and it is questionable whether one of these firms has done 8 paying business in this city in the past five years.
 The cultivation of a spirit that is loyal to home traders is a preventative and a protection against the shrewd and un- scrupulous salesmen and peddlers who travel from town to town misrepresenting their goods and cheating the people.
 Cultivate the American spirit-boom American goods. The merchants who combine and exhibit American goods 8 week at time in some of our cities are doing a good thing for the country and for themselves. In business a campaign of education is needed, not only to show the people the style and variety of goods Americans manufacture, but to imbue them with the feeling that money spent at home for American goods and with established merchants is we'll spent and cannot be spent to better advantage anywhere or with anybody y.-NOT00jch Bulletin.
The Press., 1897-04-22

Detroit Free Press: A fishing party had been organized and Gadsby, who is an ardent disciple of the rod and line, had gone ahead on the early train. The ltte1 arrivals were hurrying along the road to the stream which was to be the scene oi sport.
 ''I wonder if Gadsby has left any fish for us to catch" said one of them.
 ''I guess there will be few," replied another. "I'd have got discouraged long ago if had been in his place. When he drops line in the water the fish all seem to turn around and run the other way Who's that coming up the road, won. der ?"
 q don't know. Looks odd, whoever it is. Maybe it's an escaped lunatic."
 But when the figure drew nearer, they recognized it. It was Gadsby. The change that had come over him, how. ever, seemed to fully justify the lunacy theory. He was barefooted, and wore 8 battered, big brimmed straw hat. A pair of rough earth-stained trousers and gingham shirt completed an attire which, on a man of Gadsby's punctilous taste, was more than mysterious. "What in the name of common sense have you been doing ?" asked one of his friends in tones of the most anxious con. cern. "Have you gone staring mad ?" No" was the reply. "I'm not crazy. ,
 "What are you looking like this for then ?''
 "I've been trying to change my luck Ive heard people Say that fish did not possess great deal of intelligence. Il anybody ever tells you that, don't you believe lem. I came up here ahead o you people to try an experiment. Ive seen these country boys get bite after bite, while I did nothing but hang my feet over the water and look, so ofter that 1 resolved to try new method. got these clothes and bent a pin for { 1 hook and baited with a common worm.'
 "And you didn't catch anything?"
 "Not thing, except an eel. And as soon as he saw who I was he wriggled of the bank and got away. These scientists know great deal; but when it comes tc talking about the intelligence of fish they are away off. Pve tried the expert ment and I am in a position to speak You can't fool 'em."
The Press., 1897-04-22
Safe COurRe.

An excellent reply was that once made by Yankee pilot to the owner of a Mississippi river steamboat.
, 1897-10-23
WRITTEN IN DENVER.
BY the Funny Man OF the Evening
Post.

The wool growers o. Carbon county
have decided to employ six range rid
ers TO guard their sheep camps from
providing thieves, and the gentlemen OF
.~kleptomaniac habits who have had
things their W way in the past may
be called upon to furnish terminal facll-
ities for leaden bullets II they remain
in that portion OF the country.
Ed Schuneman Of Cheyenne has been
taking a course Of study in the art O.
funny story telling, and has placed his
truthful principles in cold storage and
gone east to go on the road as a drum
mer for a clothing house.
During the late snap this eruption Of
inspiration served on ice burst forth
from the brain OF our gifted Laramie
bard:
| dreamed | was in Klondlke almost
troze.
My gaunt limbs shaking from the
piercing cold,
And as | wiped icycles from my nose
| cursed the first ~discoverer OF gold.
My breath CONCEALED to frost and clog
sed my breast,
The very thoughts were frozen in my
mind,
My heart a lump Of ice beneath my vest,
And in my agony I woke to find
I'd kicked the blawsted covers from my
bed,
Ard with the hloomin' cold was almost
dead.
The Cheyenne rifiemen were defeated
in the team shoot at Denver, but ac-
cording to the Tribune they were 80
nicely treated by II marksnen and
people that they returned home feeling
Just as good as il they had used the Den.
yer cracks as animate mops with which
20 wipe cf this side Of the earth.