Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-12-31

~~1U NH0&B8H
A friend at Mare Island sends us a
story Of a marine of German nativity
who was told, when standing watch,
to call out the marine guard in case
the officer Of the day should pass.
When the occasion came and the officer
of the day. clad in full uniform, made
his appearance, u good German be-
came SO ratified that he forgot his En-
glish and called out: "Kummen sic
heraus init die guard. Der Kaiser is
comin'w
According to the statement of the TO-
year-old daughter of u Massachusetts
clergyman, there are ways of making
an old sermon seem almost new. Mol
ly," said n of the friends of this
young critic. docs your father ever
preach the same sermon twiceY' IL
think perhaps lie does" returned Mol
ly, cautiously; but 1 think he talks
loud and soft in different places the
second time. so it doesn't sound the
same at ALL"
"A gentleman once happened to visit
Carlyle just after Il brilliant man of
genius had left him. AS they met ut
the door, the man of genius said: IL
have just been visiting poor Carlyle.
He is n mere wreck-a mere wreck
AS the second visitor greeted Carlyle,
he remarked: 80 you've just had MI.
- with YOU" "Yes,'' was the an
swer of the mere wreck" sand he
thinks God almighty never made
such another."
The late Duke of York, son of George
the Third, owed quite a sum of money
to n d%issipated clergyman named Pom
sonby, and in order to pay the debt,
proposed giving him an Irish living.
He therefore sent him to Ireland, with
a note to the Bishop of Cork Which
read: Dear Cork, ordain ponsonDy;
yours, York" In a short time, the
prince received this equally concise
note from the bishop: Dear York, Pom
sonby ordained; yours, Cork"
Not long ago a servant living in Der
byshire, England, gave notice to leave
her situation, informing her mistress
that she was about to be married. AS
the time drew near for leaving, she adj
dressed her mistress thus: please,
mum, have you got a girl yet?' NO,
Bridget. why do you asky" Because
ii you haven't, | should like to stay"
What! 1 thought you We're going to
marry the Sweep" 'Oh. yes. ma'am,"
replied Bridget, hesitatingly, "but
when 1 saw him after his lace was
washed 1 felt 1 couldn't love him."
Horace White, of the New Yors
Evening Post, was writing the leaders
for the Chicago Tribune IL good many
years ago. His associate in the work
was Dr.. Ray, a very elegant and schol-
arly writer. Late one night the latter
ooked i'll on White i'll his bedroom and
found him reading IL standard work on
geometry. "How is this!' said Ray;
ARE you reading geometry for recren-
tion:' Not a bit of it," responded
White; II am simply trying to find out
whether after writing editorials for the
Tribune for the past year l have got
any brains left"
Abraham Sprawls was a veteran of
three wars, and he used to live i'm wire
grass Georgia. He had lost one leg in
batteL and walked around on a wool
en- stump. One day he got in the way
o. the fast mail and the engine ran
over him.. One of his sons-and he had
II family of tifteen-had witnessed the
accident, and, running toward him.
shouting: Trains cut Off dads leg,
an he'll git damages" He lifted the
old man to inspect his wounds, but
suddenly let him fall, saying, in n tone
of disgust: "Durn it all! It's his
wooden leg they've cut off," YES"
groaned the old nan as they wheeled
him home, "it's jest my burned luck.
Can't see, ter save me. how they missed
the good leg!'-Constitution.
A pretty story of how Henry NJ.
Stanley wooed and won Miss Dorothy
Tenant, though coming to us from
private sources, has been made suf-
ticiently public to avert the charge of
undue personality. Miss Tenant, it is
well known, was the original of Sir
John Millais' famous picture, Eyes or
No?" 1t seems that Stanley had asked
tine question and thesreply was NO"
The great explorer went to Africa
again, and after several years returned
to London to find himself the most
talked-of man of the day. The thought
of Miss Tenant was still uppermost i'm
his mind, and he resolved that his first
visit should be to her home. In his i'm
patience for the morrow he turned
over the cards and notes with which
the table was strewn, and, selecting
II h%aphazard, decided to while away
the time by attending n certain recep-
tion. The first person he met there
was Miss Tenant. They greeted each
other formally, but later in the even.
ing Stanley retired to IL small anti
room, to find that Miss Tenant had
likewise sought solitude. A somewhat
embarrassing silence ensued, broken
by the woman saying. like one "making
conversations" "Do you find London
much changed, Mr.. Stanley?" mo, I
haven't found London changed, and
I've not changed, either" returned the
pynlOrpr- with hiS uSY,0l fn~tror;dy%r