The Wichita daily eagle., 1897-02-09
A BOARDING HOUSE STORY.
The Landlady Thinks She Is Brainy and
Tries to Be Erudite.


| Most women reach a time of life and
O stage of hard wear at which they take
refuge in being merely brainy, or being
| considered SO.
/ had not thought that the boarding
house landlady would be attacked with
this fatal complaint, which can gen
orally be warded of by cooking and the
elementary arithmetic of the grocer's
book, but had not outlived the stay of
more than four hired girls when the
landlady fell victim to ths disease.
The first sign OF irwas sudden and
persistent fish diet and a pocket die
tionary in her apron pocket. She served
the soup out with the manner of the
president of Sorosis and her wrapper
began to assume a dog-eared and lit
erary air.
But circumstances were against her.
One day the table was graced by red
rose not of the calico and artificial type
that decorated the reception room,
smelling of patchoui and Haunting like
brazen woman, but q natural, sweet
smelling, and certainly ten-cent one.
Say" said the hotel clerk, "this is
gettin' Waldorfian, eh?"
Il believe" said the landlady, in
feeding my boarders' souls as well as
their bodies"
The landlady's gentleman friend from
Toledo, O., launched Jumps of bread
upon his turbulent soup.
Special rates for theological STU
dents?" he asked.
II mean the intellectual SOUL" said
the landlady.
Seems to me it's only the newspaper
woman who's gettin' any good out of
this new DEAL" said the hotel clerk.
Each individual and his special re-
quirements should be considered. Yes,
ma'am. A switchback running up
stairs for hotel clerks at night now,
landing 'em safely at the bedroom door,
would show consideration"
Pink lamp shades for the elderly
ladies'" murmured the typewriter.
Constant supply of credulous and
frivolous young men boarders." re-
torted the elderly manicure lady, sharp
ly.
Don't forget young Rialto's needs"
said tho gentleman from Toledo, o.
'Whatcher want besides an engage
mert. Rialto?"
Young Rialto Irving Wallack, the
only man in the house who possessed
a fur-lined coat, was just getting into
pose to speak lengthily when the man
who travels for ladies' neckwear said:
"a listener"
Gentlemen, gentlemen" said the
landlady, why will you spoil my little
effort TO improve the intellectual at
mosphere?"
Il believe" said the lady student Of
nobody knows what, that we feed our
bodies too much and our souls too little.
1 know" she continued, with the air Of
conversation and meant to keep il.
through experience and reading that
it is only suffering, hunger and even
starvation that brings ont the muscles
of genius. The restaurant keeper kills
what the colleges give birth to-the-"
But, according to tho habit of the
boar>lers, when the lady student OF no
body knew what collared the converse
ton, they one by one folded their tents
Il mean their serYiettes-and silently
stole away.
In the hall the young man who trav-
eled for neckwear said confdentially
10 the hotel clerk:
We'll. say. the boards gone OF ter
ribly lately. and know one thing, Bill,
l amt goin' to be starved into bein'
Genius!"
Then Bill said, as he went upstairs,
fhat two weeks OF ship biscuit and salt
water couldn't do that.-N. Y. World.