Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1897-06-18
DONKEY FOR DUNDER
THE SERGEANT SUGGESTS THAT
CARL CHANGE HIS NAME.
The Cruel Remark In Called Forth
by Dunder's Experience with the
Editor Of ss Der Gigantic SMOKER
una Laugh Maker'' OF Chicago
Greenhorns and Hayseeds.

"Nhell, how you vhas now?" said
Mr.. Dunder, as he tiptoed into the
station and stood before the fat police
sergeant the other afternoon.
"Oh, it's your" muttered the SER
geant as he looked up.
"Yes, she vhas me. I vhas going
by aboudt mile avhay, you know,
und l shust drop in to see if you vhas
deadt. Last time vhas here l told
you vhas going back to Shermany,
but don't go, you see."
81 see."
Sergeant, don't you remember how
used to be some hayseeds-ha, ha,
ha! Nettings vhas two times alike.
und eaferbOdy shwindles me-"
Yes, l remember" answered the
sergeant.
81 vhas greenhorns. If man
comes to me NIT an express back
age, l pays him seek dollar und find
big sthOne in it. Ifsomebody comes
und says | shall run for Office, 1 gifts
him ten dollar und don't see him any
more. If man likes to put Carl
Dunder in book NIT Shorge Wash
ington and Grofer Cleveland, pays
him feefty dollar and neffer see dot
book. 1t makes me laugh dot l vhas
sooch hayseeds-ha, ha, hal"
"Mr. Dunder," said the sergeant
after looking up at the clock and out
OF the alley window, "what do you
want to see me for?"
al shust like to know if you vhas
all right, you see."
There's something else. You
have been swindled again."
ooh, no, no, no! When 1 vhas
some greenhorns, l vhas took in, but
nobody can fool me now. So you
don't haf der smallpox und vhas all
right, eh?"
al want to know what's happened to
you," said the sergeant, rs he came
out from behind his desk, with grim
smile on his face.
"Vhell-ha, ha, ha! Don't l say
nottings happens to me? shust haf
some good luck, you know. Don't
you worry aboudt Carl Dunder. He
vhas all right. vhas going to make
more ash ten tousand dollar in one
year."
"Tell me how"
"Vhell, like to wait und surprise
you, burt mebbc she vhas all right to
tell you now. Did you hear of dot
funny paper in Cheecago?"
(Which one?"
"She vhas called Der Gigantic
Shoker und Laugh Maker und che
vhas so funny dot when you read her
you must fall down on der fioor-ha,
ha, hap
"Have you got copy?"
"No. A feller come in my place
und tells me all about dher. l vhas
all alone when he comes in und says
vhas 1 Carl Dunder? l vhas. Dot
vhas all right. He reads OF me in the
papers, und he comes one tousand
miles to see. He vhas der editor of
dot paper"
al see. And what did he want of
your"
"Vhat you belief, eh? He WANTS
me to write for his paper, und he gifs
me one hoondred dollar week. Dot
brings him here. He says l vhas so
funny dot he must haf my shokes in
his paper. Shildren croy for EN-"
"When were you funnyf" asked the
sergeant.
al dunno, but dots What he said to
me. He like some SMOKES right away,
und so I gif him some. l will spheak
dose shokes to you, und You vhill see
how funny dey vhas.
"Vhy vhas man who leaves his
pocketbook under his pillow at home
like ship in a storm? Because his
wife takes oudt ten dollar before he
gets back"
"He didn't take that from you as
joke, did he?" exclaimed the sergeant.
"Of course. When he reads dot
shoke, he laughs till haf to hit him
on der back. Dot makes me laugh,
too-ha, ha, ha! Here vhas another:
"Vhy should a man who has eat
some oysters all winter 60 avhay from
home in der spring? Becase he
WANTS shange of clamate."
"Great Scott" gasped the sergeant,
"and he took that?"
"Vhy not?" He falls off his shair
when he reads dot shoke, und he says
his readers vhill be conwulsed for two
weeks. Here vhas one more:
"Vhot vhas dot deeference between
man oop tree und man down q
hole in der ground? One must come
oop und one must come down-ha, ha
hal"
"Mr. Dunder," solemnly observed
the sergeant, "did you cash check
for that man--the editor"
"Of course not. If he says dot he
likes me to cash check, I takes him