The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-12-12
CANDID FLOOR WALKER
HE EXPLAINS THE MANY DUTIES OF
HIS PECULIAR PROFESSION.
His Chief business to Look Pretty. but
Also Acts as Buffer Between
Clerks and Customers.
Washington Post.

Washington Post.
This particular floor walker, patroller of
the main deck of one of Washington's de-
partment stores, possesses a species of can
dor that is almost bizarre; and, when he
sees it at full length in pier glass Gas he
very often does in the course of a day., he
knows good thing-himself.
The general character of your work, sup
posedly, is to-" was the lnsinuating way
the Post man began it.
rs to look pretty cut in the floor walk
er. as to look pretty and, consequently,
yappy and imbecile. If I did not possess
the fatal gift of beauty l could not be a
floor walker. 1 could be a bank president
or millionaire yachtsman, or a railroad
director, or mine owner, or a chief of DO
lice, or a newspaper man, or anything else
great and good, even if were not pretty
but never a floor walker. Before | became
a floor walker I used to be sorely tempted
to brutality abuse and maltreat a pretty man
when I saw him-to pound him, and to
throw things at him, and to heap invective
upon him, and to cover him with confu-
sion and humiliate him. and make him feel
like the equivalent of 80 cents in coin of the
realm. But, now. all is changed. The ext
gencies of an unfortunate business career.
tco-joyous youth, forced me into the ranks
of the floor walkers, and consequently into
the battalion of pretty men.
But, besides looking perfectly and en-
tirely lovely, you have other duties that"
''Oh, yes; plenty of them. 1t is my
most important task to stand still on oc-
casion and let people throw metaphorical
rocks at me. I have learned now to catch
Am In nd
I have learned not to talk back When I
first became floorwalker l had no more
mental balance than to tell the gentlemen
shoppers who characterized me as a dunn
my, and a dub, and a poppy-dreamer and
a hasheesheater, and a lovely thing, and the
lady shoppers who informed me that 1
didn't know any more about the location of
goods in this establishment than their
maiden aunts in Massachusetts, hadn't
any more sense than to tell 'em right down
the street, on the next block two doors to
the left, there was another institution SINH
lar to this one and perhaps good deal
better, where they could probably be served
all right and get anything they wanted.
from bunch of figs to an attachment on
the gate receipts. But no morel / came
near losing my job. 1 would have lost it
had not been so ineffably pretty that
You mean that the people who come
here talk at you and
That's what / mean That humble
minded old gentleman, Job, that we hear
so much about probably never held a floor
walkers job in a department store. If he
were living now and took such job I could
see his finish. He would last about twenty
minutes and then he would run amucR and
heave potsherds and 39-cent bottles of violet
water and S7-cent plush-mounted clocks at
all hands, and get locked up and hauled up
before Judge Kimball and do thirty days
and-J'
Some specimens of what he'd run ur
against, now would be interesting"
Certainly; pleasures mine / don't have
10 do any musty record searching, either
A couple Of hours ago a man came in tho
storm door looking mad. Whenever ] SEE
q mad-looking man coming IN at the storm
door. or At any other door, know that his
wife has sent him. and / feel for him. fol