Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-05-28
INNOCENCE ABROAD.
PROBABLE RECEPTION OF THE
COMMISSION.
The International Bimetallist Is the
Man Who Is willing to Walt Indeh-
niteIy for neutrality-suspicious. Com
bined with Business.

DLueu WITH bubiucbss
Characters-Adlai E. Stevenson, an
Expert on the Money Question; Sena-
tor Wolcott, Bimetallist from Bimet-
allismville; Mr.. Paine, an Incarnation
of Financial Lore; Baron Rothschild,
the Original Friend of Silver; The
Servant, Non-committal on the coin
age Question.
Scene-The London Palace of Baron
Rothschild. Enter Messrs. S., w. and
p. They ring the Baron's door bell
and The Servant appears.
Mr.. Stevenson-Will you kindly tell
Baron Rothschild that we are Presi-
dent McKinley's international bimetal-
lie commission, and that we would like
to talk the money question over with
him this evening?
The Servant-Well, now look here!
Do you suppose l amt got nothin' else
to do but to answer the door bell for
international bimetallists? No sooner
do l begin to wash me dishes than an
international bimetallist rings the
door bell. Anyhow, believe the Ba>
ron's in bed. You'd better go away.
(Agitated conference of Messrs. S.,
w. and P)
Mr.. Stevenson-Whats to be done?
Senator Wolcott-I move we appro-
pirate a five-pound note to pay this
girl To wake fha parou
Mr.. Paine-Second the motion. 1t
can be charged to the $4,000 appro-
priation of congress.
(The money is slipped into The Ser
wants hand. She vanishes and soon
reappears.)
The Servant-The Baron says yous
is ter walk up.
(Messrs. S., w. and P. walk up to the
Baron's room. They PROSTATE them
selves before the great man, who re-
'ceives them kindly)
Senator Wolcott-Well, Baron, Pres
ident Mckinley has sent us to obtain
an agreement of the powers to free
coinage. You know the United States
has got to get the consent of Europe
before free coinage can be established
in our country. Will you help the
land of the free in this matter?
Baron Rothschild-Vill / helb der
liant ov der vree in dees fiddle madden?
Wy, of course will. You hat gone do
der right shob, mine frients. Der
Unidet Shades has mine abbroval. l
am an international pimedallist mine
self. ain'd i'd?
Mr.. Paine-How did you come to be
an international bimetallist, Baron?
Baron Rothschild-I vas born an in
dernational pimedallist, mine frient.
Senator Wolcott-What are the pros
poets for silver. Baron?
Baron Rothschild - Well, mine
frents, ids desc way. In der >Unidet
Sdates desc ees doc much achidashun
off der seelver kewestyun. Dere Is doc
much Pryanism. Vot der Unidet
Shades wants der to ees do sdob dees
achidashun unit leaf der seelver ke-
westyun in mine hants.
Mr.. Paine-How long would 1t take
you to settle it, Baron?
Baron Rothschild-I dell you pedder
alder der negst bresitenshul elegshun,
mine trent. You know ass well ass I
dot international pimedallism iss not
so queek righdt away so soon almost.
But vat will yer hat, gents?
Messrs. S., w. and P.-Don't mind
if I do.
(The Servant brings in bottles and
glasses, and the conference imbibes.)
Baron Rothschild - Now, mine
frients, vot is Bresitend MeekGeenley
goin' ter to aloud i'd in case you don'd
need NIT encouragement?
Senator Wolcott-I really don't
know.
Baron Rothschild-Vill he go vree
seelver coinage all py him lonesome II
Yewrub does not go in for i'd?
Mr.. Stevenson-Give it up, Baron.
BARON Rothschild - ISIS president
MeekGeenley an international pinned
allist?
Senator Wolcott-He is.
Baron Rothschild-Thang Got! Ven
i'd comes do vaiding yer vree coinage,
an international pimedallist dakes der
cake.
Mr.. Stevenson-But suppose Mr..
Mckinley won't wait?
Baron Rothschild-Mine frient, an
international pimedallist is man
dots Wiling do wait vor vree coinage.
Ven man ISIS not Wiling do wait vor
vree coinage he CANT pc an inderna-
tional pimedallist. De only reason
vree coinage is tancherous ISIS dot
some beople want i'd rigid away. Goot
nighd.
(Messrs. S., w. and P. are shown out
by the Servant)
Senator Wolcott-I move we give
this, servant ten pounds to show us up
to the Baron the next time we come.
We can charge the same to the ap-
preparation, you know.
Mr.. Paine-Second the motion.
CThe money is paid over to the Ser
vant.)
til Col