St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1897-02-12


serve you right, too. "
Professor, for mercy's sake,
stop!"
when you know, and l know.
that if your wife had chance to rest,
and had nice clothes like other
women, she would be one of the best
looking women OF her age in town"
II swan | believe it,"
"And, old as she is, if YOU were to
get out the carriage next Sunday
and drive around with the colts, and
tell her how you wanted her to go
to meeting with you she would actu
ally blush with pleasure.
"Darned if | don't do it,"
"Then, Monday, if you were to tell
her you were going to hire girl,
and that she must sit in the sitting
room by the new nickle-plated coal
stove and work on that new silk
dress you are going to buy her"
Professor, that's me"
And then hand her nice wallet
with steel clasps and with five nice
new twenty-dolar notes in it, and
tell her to do her own trading after
this, because you have got tired
looking after so much money"
II will, as sure as you live"
"And then, when the tear starts in
her eye, and the same old blush comes
out that you thought SO nice when
you went on that teeter TO Albany,
If you would kiss her"
ITS all right, professor.
Then, my friend, should begin
to think she had made something by
marrying rich man"
You're right, old man."
Then | think you wouldn't have
miserable wife any longer. Then
you would no longer want to sell or
rent the farm, but would be showing
the mother OF your children how
much you respected her tor her lite of
devotion. Then she would know she
was a partner in that $4,000.
Then, if you made your will all right,
aud she had a good rest, think she
would sometime be an eligible
widow"
Think so. professor ?"
Il know it. Woman is a plant
that wants sunshine. You have been
leaving your wife in the shade too
much. She has lost her color. You
have made her think she is an old
woman. She has given up all hope
of admiration and love, and is only
waiting to die and get out of the
way. Suppose you were treated
so?"
What, me? am all right"
YES, know. Women pity you
because you are tied TO such a sorry
looking wife. Foolish old maids and
silly girls whisper behind your back
what nice looking man you are,
and what stick of wife you have,
ard YOU are just soft enough to wear
tight boots and oil what little hair
YOU have left on the top OF your
head, and 60 around figuring up
how long before your wife will die. "
Say now, see here, professor, there
is limit to endurance. am going"
Il am coming down to see you
next week ; will it be all right ?"
Yes, II YOU drop this kind OF talk
and won't tell OF my complaints
about my wife, I'lltry your medicine
Would you stick Tor that prescrp-
ton about the pocket book and
twenty dollar notes?
How much did you say you had
made togethor?"
Il cave. The dress will be all right
and the pony and phaeton will be
handy for the gals. Come down and
see us, old man, but not a word
about this talk. II you wasn't an
old man, I'd"
Tipping his derby back on his head
and shaking the wrinkles out OF his
tight trousers, he put his hands il
his pockets and sauntered away.
There" said |, us one man who
has taken the only legal and God
given way of getting rid of a miser
able tel Albany Journal.