New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-04-11
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

1.-THE New-York Red Book" for 1897. the illustrated
legislative manual OF this State. published by James
b. Lyon, OF Albany. and edited by Edgar l.. Murhn'
has Just been Issued Since its first issue. In 1872
this valuable manual has made itself indispensable
10 all who desire be posted In regard 10 the STATE
OF New-York and Its government The present Is
sue retains all the features that have distinguished
in nrevious years and number OF new features
have been added In order TO make It more complete
and convenient, a political register Mr. Murln.
It's able and painstaklng editor who ts well known
70 the readers OF The Tribune It's Albany corre-
spondent deserves commentator for the faithful and
thorough way In which nc has done his work
Not Particular.-'I suppose" she said acridly
that you would turn up your nose at cold vlctuals
no ma'am" replied Meanderlng Mike. You'd be
surprised ter see how good-natured Ia take IL II
YOU was offer me Roman punch or champagne
frappe "-(WashIngton Star
An inventor recently went to the British War
Office with an explosive that he said would destroy
any army against which it was directed. 1T is the
most powerful explosive the world ever saw" said
the visitor "and ! propose 10 send up balloon
over an army that would attack ours, setting the
fuse so that It might go off the moment the bal
loon noaed over the army of the enemy" THAT
s all very good indeed" said the Secretary of
War. interrupting; but suppose that current of
air should carry your explosive balloon over our
arny-what them well" said tho inventor
laying his hand the right honorable gentle
mans arm. Il tell you what It is. my friend-our
army would have TO get UP and run like the very
dickens"
The Good Boy-Let's see; Joshua was not an
The Bad Boy-No; II he had been he would have
told the sun to get move on itsef-(Cincinnau
Tribune.
Fatima the lady hippopotamus. keyed up to a
metropolitan standard of refinement and conduct
by her residence in the Central Park. is going TO
Chicago where she will no doubt drop into pro-
vIncial ways and become sort of pachyderma tous
decadent or mossbacked amphibian, with pretty
nearly all her refinement vanished to the winds.
II Is n poor outlook for the wellbred and accom-
plshed Fatima but unless Chicago will mend It's
manners and set her an example OF correct be-
havor there is no help for II.
Mr. Mann-For mercy's sake. what are the chill
'' Mrs MannmTher music teacher came in few
minutes ago and | suppose they are now engaged
in the study OF harmony.-(Boston Transcript
A borse-trainer OF breckenridge. KY who has
been married three times, Is the father OF thirty
nine children of whom twenty-seven are alive.
His Oldest son and his present wife are OF the same
age, forty-seven years
Well. Informed Youth.-Master-Who can tell
me what useful article we get from the whale?
Johnny-Whalebone.
Mastef-Rght Now. what little boy or girl
knows what get from the seal?
Tommy-Sealing wax.-(Tit Bits
They say that Mr.. Austin. the English poet-laure-
ate IL afraid that II Chulaongkorn !. King OF Slam.
visits England during the coming summer the poet
laureate will be expected to turn out poem In his
honor Mr. Austin has quick ear for rhyme but
oven he recognizes the fact that the name Chula-
Iongkorn does not lend Itself readily 10 rhyme. The
lines. ,,.,,,..a,
AS you're born,
which At once suggest themselves. are a little too
colloauial and familiar to be used in ode TO
royalty
A Flood sufferer-"You food sufferer? Nit.'
said the hired lady. you have been hanging
around town all this winter and spring"
But am. lady. indeed ] am protested Mr..
water an II made me that sick n weak that
ami been even able to ask fer work. -tndianapo-
lis Journal
The Rev Forbes Phillips, vicar Of Confession. who
refused the other day to remove lighted candles
from the altar OF his church nj the request OF DIT
sheepshanks Bishop OF Norwich, his ecclesiastical
superior has brought somewhat interesting ques-
ton 10 the front by his action. Has n benefited
clergyman the sole right TO order the service In his
church? or may the bishop. pastor-in chief OF
all the churches In his diocese interfere In matters
OF local administration
what did Noah live on when the food subsidized
and his provisions In the ark were exhausted?
asked a Sunday school teacher OF her class. Il
Know saueaked a little girl after the others had
given up We'll, whatT inquired the teacher
"DrY land. "-(Chattsnooga Times.