The Winslow mail., 1897-08-14
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Tne late Professor Jowett had a curl
Gus way Of commenting on the work
that was brought to him by students.
On one occasion he was shown a set
OF Greek verses. After looking them
over carefully, he glanced up rather
blankly and said to the author: "Have
you any taste for mathematics"
In one Of the small New York towns
where the residents swap farm prod
ucts for groceries, boy was sent to
the store by his mother, and this (says
the New York Times) Is what an aston
ished outsider heard him say to the
store-keeper: mister, ma says you're
to please give me eggs worth Of mus
tard. The hen Is on"
When DR.. Whewell, master of Trim
ity College, Cambridge, was a tutor,
he once invited number Of his men to
q "wine"-as the entertainments Of
those days used to be called. Noticing
a vacant place, he said to his servant,
"Why is not Mr.. Smith here?" "He Is
dead, sir" was the reply. ~ wish you
would tell me when my pupils diev'
was the indignant answer.
An Irish conductor on a branch of
Boston's West End railroad came into
the car one day and called out, "Wan
seat on the roight! Sit closer on the
roight, an mex room for the Teddy
phwat's standing" A big, surly-look-
ing man who was occupying space
enough for two said, sullenly, "We
can't sit any closer" Cant yeez" re-
torted the little conductor; "begorry,
you niver wint coortin', thin" 1t is
needless. to add that room was made
ION the roight" for the lady.
An amusing story Is told Of how the
late Lord Fitzgerald discounted a
treasury official who was sent over
from England to complain of the ex-
cessive expenditure for coal in the
Lord Chief Justices court. He re-
ceived the man, and listened gravely
and formally while the latter stated
his errand and enlarged upon the i'm
portance of economy in the matter Of
fuel. At the conclusion Of the dis
course, he rang the bell, and, when
the servant appeared, said: "Tell Mary
that the man has come about. the Goals" "
Joseph Chamberlain is young-look-
ing man, though not SO youthful as a
few years ago, when he was a member
of Gladstone's administration. Cross
ing the Irish Sea one day, when the
steamer was overcrowded, he was ac-
companied by bearded private secre-
tary. The latter picked an acquaint-
ance with Scotchman, with whom he
discussed the slim possibility of secur-
ing berths. "You and I, mon," said the
Scotchman, ''will occupy the berths,
and the wee addie"-indicating the dis
tinguished statesman-"can just lie
himself down on the floor"
The papers are full of tales just now
Of how the late composer, Brahms,
treated pianists and singers who were
eager to get his criticism. If one Of
these aspirants for his favor was for
tunate enough to find him at home and
be received, Brahms first concern was
to seat himself on the lid Of his piano, a
position from which he rightly deem
ed few would have the temerity to oust
him. If this failed, he had recourse to
the statement that the instrument was
out Of tune. "Oh, that does not matter" !"
remarked one courageous individual.
Perhaps not to you, but it does to
me-" replied the master. On one oc-
casion, he was just leaving his house
when long-haired youth, with a bum
die Of music under his arm, hailed him
with: "Can you tell me where DR..
Brahms lives? Certainly" answer
ed the master, In the most amiable
manner; sin this house, up three
flights" and 80 saying, he hurried
away.
Signor Arditi, the musical conductor,
whose badness is well-known, wore
wig only once in his life. 1t was In New
York. and he bore as philosophically as
might be the surprise betrayed by the
orchestra at his novel appearance. But,
while the musicians were tuning up,
he began to feel uncomfortable. Pres
emily the door opened and Alboni peep
ed In. Arditi knew that the prima
donna had an ineradicable adherence
Of wigs. where is Arditi?" she in
quired of one Of the company. "Here
l am" replied the conductor, rather
shamefacedly, stepping forward. She
looked at him for moment, and then
burst into laughter. what, Arditi!
she called; SIS it indeed you in that
wig? Never, In the world! My good
friend, l should never be able to sing
with that before me. Herew With one
bound she seized upon the unfortunate
wig, dragged it from his head, and
threw 1t to the other side Of the room.
He did not replace it; and though he
always fancied that wig would be-
come him, he never again wore one.