The Lafayette gazette. [volume] (Lafayette, La.) 1893-1921, 1897-06-05
ABol,z- GETTING MaRRIED.

In last Sundays Picayune Mrs. T.. NJ.
Gilmer whose interesting articles appear
under the non-dc-plume of s'Durothy Dix"
gives some Wholesome advice to girls who
thinking of getting married. 1t is at the
request of bachelor friend that The Ca
zette prints the following:
There is much food for reflection, and
word of suggestion, in the report that comes
from small Georgia town about
gagged girl, whose mother offered to give her
81 900 if She would only go quietly off and
get married, without saying anything about
it. To anyone whose painful privilege it
has ever been to live in the house with a
girl in love, and to assist-in the French
sense-at the wedding, the price must seem
ridiculously low. To be delivered from the
everlasting spooning, to be freed from the
hurry and worry and furry about clothes;
to escape the awful responsibility of the in
vitat'ons, and deciding who is to be asked
to the house and who to the church-to buy
exemption from, all these fluctuations for
thousand paltry dollars, is to get a regular
marked-down. special sale bargain in luxury.
Cynics have observed that family is
habitually much more cheerful at a daughters
wedding than sons. This is, doubtless,
accounted for by the fact that by the time
girl Is ready to march to the altar her imn'e-
date relatives have been through such an
ordeal they are leconciled to anything that
has promise of peace in it, and are buoyed
up with the prospect of being able to resume
their accustomed way of living.
There is nothing else under heaven
self-satisfied and selfish as an engaged girl.
She is not only perfectly convinced that she
and Tom are the center of the universe,
about which everything else revolves, but
she expects everyone else to recognize it.
She calmly aPpropriates the house. If you
want to receive caller, she and Tom are
spooning in the parlor; when her father
wants to write a letter. he has to retire from
the library with confused opology to two
people who regard him with baleful looks
an intruder. them on q
steps, and sturable against them on the gal
lery when you try to shut up the house at
night, and if you dare to enter protest,
Mamie tells you that she is perfectly aware
that she and Tom are the first people in the
history of the world who ever, really, truly,
unalterably loved.
The rest of the family, not being keyed
up to this pitch of sentiment, find it a little
wearing on their nerves. In Tom they see
only plain, everyday sort of 4 fellow, who
will do his best to make Mamie happy, and
pay her bills, but to their dispassionate gaze
he is neither hero genius. In the
sublime egotism of love Mamie demands
that every shall see HIM as she does,
and she feels that she is misunderstood, and
unaPpreciated, and sheds bitter tears over
the snort of derision with which her father
receives Toms opinion, when she brings it
forth sort of ultimatum that must settle
any question.
Then comes the momentous period of
preparation for the wedding, and the uni
verse trembles in the balance while she de-
cides whether she will have a church we'd
ding, or be married at home under floral
design in the back parlor, and while she
makes up her mind to tho number of
bridesmaids and what they shall wear. Then
cnsues a wild and chaotic time, full of con-
fusion and dressmakers, and bridesmaids
and arguments with mamma, and protests
from papa about the bills, and general irrit
ability and temper. II is time that she
always rcmemb rs afterwards, and that all
her family recall, kind of nightmare,
from which she energies Il married woman,
the possessor of more clothes than she needs,
and nervous prostraton. Nine girls out Of
ten never look SO ugly in their lives they
do, when worn and wearicd with all this
fuss and furry they march to the altar in
the bridal finery for which they have paid
dearly. 1t seems the greatest pity that
Americans can never learn that there is Il
double standard for everything in life.
But we don't find it out. We want to do
everything precisely alike. If we read in
the papers that Miss Coupon, the heir
millions, wore white satin gown with Il
trail a mile long when she married Mr..
Bullion, also the possessor of millions, we
all feel that every mothers daughter of
had better live and die an old maid than
be we'd in anything that wasn't at least an
imitation of that plendor. 1t is all right for
the woman who has only to give order
and write check to have fine trous-
seau as she likes. 1t is of the good
things her money buys her. But it is
other story, and different one, when a
poor girl, in order to wear white satin and
orange blossoms, for quarter of an hour,
imposes hardships and scrimping her
family to pay for it.
1t may be safely set down that the desire
for display wedding always originates
with the bride. No man ever wanted to be
dragged up a long church aisle, the target
for the criticisms of his dear five hundred
friends. He realizes at the best he is but a
pitiable figure or rather that he cuts figure
at all, and serves only as an excuse for the
wedding and the brides dress. 1t is probab.
ly necessary to have bridegroom a
swell wedding, but if he should be accident
ally forgotten, l am confident that in the
interest in the BRIDES gown, and the brides
maids, and the picture hats, shepherds
crooks, or whatever was the distinguishing
feature of the wedding, ''he never would
be msscd.' I don't believe there a
dozen men extant who would not prefer to
he quietly married at home or go to church
with only witness or two, and there plight
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