Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1897-09-25
RHODY KIRBY.

I think fate must have decreed it, One
day wrote thus
"To Let.-A frame cottage, containing
nine rooms, subdivided into parlor, recep-
tion and dining room, library kitchen and
four bed chambers, with broad halls The
house is encircled by q veranda and situat-
ed in a grove of about three acres extent.
Well and cistern ON the premises; stable
and outhouses Three squares to station
and about half mile to electric car line,
now in course of construction, and which
will pass place. Rent $55 per month. Ap-
ply on the premises, Cloyersyde, St. Louis
county,"
I am not college bred man, just a plain
"readin, writin, 'rithmetie" sort of a NOR
tai, not given to beating about the bush,
but trying with all my heart to speak and
write SO as to be plainly understood. And
30, when, after writing this advertisement,
I looked it over, it seemed to express in a
fairly intelligent way the desire that moved
me to its composition and the subsequent
expenditure of coin necessary to secure its
publication. desired to secure tenant
for my property. Tho premises and the
location were described with sufficient at
tention to detail and accuracy to enable
the reader to arrive at a decision as to
whether that was such a place as he or she
might have in view for residential pur-
poses. The rental was set out as distinctly
as my knowledge of the English language
would permit me to state it in words Or
figures. These prelimnaries disposed of,
there remained for me nothing to do but
reflect upon the bereavement by which I,
a confirmed bachelor, found myself in pos
session of something for which | had no
earthly use, and to trust to the power of
the press for a measure of assistance in
the preservation of that possession or its
disposition in a manner satisfactory from
a financial and personal standpoint.
1t was plain that, city raised as l had
been, could not reside eeontentedly in such
a place. I was ignorant of the manage
ment of a house and the control and guild
ance of corps of servants. The location
was against my taking up my abode
there. 1t was too retired and quiet decid-
dly. The ten days had spent there while
the carpenters, painters and decorators
were putting the place in shipshape We're
the most lonesome and dismal in all my
experience. The nearest ncighbor was
next door it would not have relieved the
isolation, for he and his family extin-
guished the lights and retired at 9 clock
'leaying the world TO darkness and to
me-"
In an old fashioned rocker, with that
solace of solitude the pipe, l would sit for
hours, my reverie only disturbed by the
rattle and roar of u passing train and the
accompanying bark of every dog in the
circuit. these dying away and intensifying
tho solitude and loneliness.
| have said that was plain speaking
man and a plain writing one. Perhaps in
the interest of truth should qualify that
statement by adding that thought was
until the results of my rushing into the
I want columns of metropolitan newspa-
| per disabused my mind of the idea. My
! appeal to house hunters met with gener-
| GUS response. They came singly, in pairs
| and quartets, in crowds. Every train bore
delegation of them Not all house hunt
ers are demented, not by any manner Of
means, but goodly percentage of those
| who favored Cloversyde with their pres
enoe on that beautiful Sunday just year
| ago today were, am bound to think, weak
| mentally. Either this or there was gigan-
tic conspiracy among the guild to harass
and annoy me, and thus add to the embar-
| rassment of the predicament in which
| found myself through this sudden acquisi-
tion Of landed property. To partioularize:
The first person to call was pudgy, red
| faced gentleman who, after he had toiled
up the hill and relieved himself of a snort
or two, requested to be shown over the
| ,,1o LaI ho
! inspection, my caller protested that there
was no sewer connection.
How under the shining sun there should
be such thing with the nearest sewer five
miles away is beyond my feeble compre-
hension, but that he did expect it, and
came out there purposely to realize his ex-
pectations, the manner in which he mop
ped his bald head and grunted left no
margin for doubt. As he bade me good
day and waddled down the hill to take the
next train citywsrd fancied l could de-
tect phantom sewer connections in the
heated atmosphere above his head. The
next train landed half dozen cranks,
who jostled each other in their anxiety to
reach me. AS they wedged their way
through the gate and along the gravel
walk there was fire in their eyes.
The place was decidedly objectionable
because the rent was too high; there were
| no speaking tubes in the house; the cellar
was not oemented; the house had been
built to be heated by furnace, and was
therefore beyond the reach of those of mod
crate means; there was not room enough;
there was too much room; the rooms were
too large and would require acres Of carpet
| to cover the floors; the grounds were SO
extensive that the employment of a man
to care for them would be necessary; there
was no sidewalk; trains were not sufii-
ciently numerous. 1t would all be nice
enough for summer, but when winter
comes what's q body to do, and so forth.
| OF course the advertisement expressly de-
soribed this as frame house Of nine rooms,
the grounds of about three acres in extent,
the water supply as coming from well
and cistern, the railway station as three
| blocks away and the rental as sos a
| MONTH And yet scores of men and women
| who were in search of a brick house Of six
rooms, with city water, sewer connections,
| speaking tubes, gas and bath, on the line
| Of street railway, came out to inspect
my property and annihilate ire with their
objections to 1t. thought was plain
| speaking, plain writing man. am not.
| The week passed and the house was still
| on my hands. It was Saturday, and !
| had reached the conclusion that would
lock up the place that evening, return to
my bachelor apartments In the city and
let some agent sell the property to the first
bidder and relieve me from strain that
was fast putting gray hairs In my head