The Chipley banner. (Chipley, Washington County, Fla.) 1893-1943, 1897-07-17
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

HuMoR OF THE DAY.
He-"Miss Peavick's age is telling
npon her." She-"Whst ingratitude!"
Puck.
"What constitutes good joker"
''1'he right sort Of q fellow to tell it
to."-Judge.
First Neighbor proudly - "My
daughter is learning the violin" Sec
ond Ditto (sadly)-"So I hear. Lon
don Fun.
George, isn't this love Of bon.
metz" 81 suppose so; it doesn't look
as If it would last longer than six
weeks. Puck.
Parke-'T thought you said you had
plenty of furniture to fill your new
house." Lane-"That was before I
moved. Judge.
Wheeler-"I hear Sprockets mar
ried Tartarw Bearings (sententious-
ly)-"Yes-poor old fellow! she steers
their tandem!"-Puck.
His Wife-"Well, they've returned
our lawn mower at last" The Sub
urbanite-"Is it completely worn out
or does it merely need repairs?"-
Puck.
Gentlemen of the jury" said the
lawyer, 'there were thirty-six hogs.
Please remember the fact-just three
times as many as in the jury box, gen.
tlemen."
He-"He that courts and runs away,
will live to court another day" She
"But he that courts and does not wed,
will find himself in court instead. -
Standard.
Young Author-"Can you tell me
how to become good poet?" Editor
ooh, yes! The very first thing for you
is to die. All the good ones are dead"
Standard.
"How is this, Count? They say the
stone in this ring you gave me is imi-
tation." ooh, like enough. I never
was very strong in mineralogy."-
Humoristische Blaetter.
Hicks-"How did Jackson make all
his money anyway" Dix-"Out OF
literary work. He had to get out Of it
because he couldn't make a dollar in
t."-Somerville journal.
Grimshaw--''Well I beat Borrowby
out of 81 just now" Askins--"How
in the world did you do it9" Grim.
shaw--"Oh! he struck me for five, and
I lent him one. Puck.
1t is great pity that man can't
discharge his debts as woman does
hers--by hiring hall, and passing
around q bit of cake and dab Of ice
cream.--Atchison Globe.
Aunt Sarah Ito nephew from the
city)-'Ts Uncle Cyrus through milk
ing, Teddy9" Teddy--"Not quite.
He's finished two faucets and has just
begun on the other wo."-Judge.
Walker Farr-"I thought your next
tour was to have been through South
Africa" Count d'Ties-"It was, but
the company struck. One of them had
read that an ostrich egg often weighsa
dozen pounds"
She (angrily)-'T believe you think
more of that nasty old pipe than You
do OF me, your wife," He (mildly)--
"Well, my dear, can keep my pipe
from going out. Cincinnati CONNER.
cial Tribune.
The Fiancee (vaguely)-"H Harry
leaves for Boston to-day he won't come;
but if he comes to tea--we'll know he's
here" Maiden Aunt (bittsrly)-"I
shouldn't Judge by appearances--msn
are 80 ull'--Truth.
Wickwire-"Have you been follow.
ing Timmins's career lately? He hiss
written several short articles full Of
promise" Mudge-"So have I, butI
haven't been able to pay any Of them
yet. indianapolis Journal.
Cumso-"Why don't Mr.. Gilgal and
Miss Perkasie get marriedp" Cawker
--'Shyness on both Sides" Cumso--
Glow do you make that out2" Cawker
--"She is a shy little thing by nature
and he is shy Of cash. Detroit Free
Press.
care you sure these corsets are IN.
breakableP" asked the doubling chs
toner. IT have been wearing one my.
self for q year." said the saleslady,
land it amt broke yet. And" she
continued, blushing, II am engaged"
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Department Store Photographer
(suavely, to sitter)-"Now look pleas.
ant, please" Van Prune being photo
graphed while waiting for his wife
miserably)--'T can't. My wife 10
downstairs attending your bargain
sales Of dress goods and millinery