The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1897-07-09
VOL. XLU---NO. rs
Varieties.

!
never drinks? Never, Nor smokes.
! No, sir. Nor loses his temper. That's
what said. When did he die.
Six feet ii his boots. exclaimed
| old Mr.. knowbetter. Nonsense
/ Why. they might as we'll tell me that
| he has six heads in his hat.
Have you anything to say WHY
the sentence of the court should not
| be pronounced upon you?" asked the
| judge. Faith, yer honor, Oi have
slVen distinct raisons, my wan OF
which would convince mesilfif Oi was
only yer honor"
First hootblack--What did they
| put those pennies on old Skiniint's
eyes for after he was dead. How can
they tell by that? Why, don't you
see il he was alive he would make
a grab for the pennies.
Poets are in general prone TO
melancholy, yet the most plaintive
dltty hath Impaired a fuller Joy and
OF longer duration to its composer
than the conquest of Persia to the
Macedonian.
The more | live, the more | love
this lovely world feel more its Author
III each little thinG--in all that's
great. But yet feel my immortality
the more.
-She(after the honeymoon)-You de-
c!eVed Inc. You told me there was
money coming TO you. He Yes, |
meant yours.
The first arrival-Why, what is
that noise, Willie? Willie-Oh, that's
papa and mamatrYiugto get the family
skeleton back into the closet before
the guests arrive
-Jinks--There is a man who has a
number of movements on foot for
making money. Binks-Who is he?
Jlnks-i cont know his name, but
he's q dancing teacher.
-He-lt must be dreadful when a
professional singer knows she has lost
her voice. She-But it is .till more
dreadful when she is not aware of the
fact.
Charlie (reading his composition)
Every rabbit has four legs and one
anecdote. Teacher--What do you
mean by an anecdote. Charlie-A
short, funny tail.
Has Mr.. De Broken proposed to
you yet, Beatrice" No, but he has
lawyer looking into para's financial
Affairs
---Hewitt-I hear your servant left
without giving you any notice.
Jewett--les; she lighted the fire with
Kerosene.
Some men," said Uncle Eben.
KIN train er dog ter do anything dey
tells i'm All at de same time raise de
mos disobiectionest chillun in de
neighborhood.
A playful smile Illuminated the
refined countenance of John d. Rock
Teller. What has come over mey' he
SAID. Then ii light broke in upon his
mind. The persuasive eloqGence OF
President Harper OF Chicago Univer-
sIty had come over him and he was
another million out OF pocket.
"A minister who used to preach in
Somerviile had little boy. A few
days before his father left the city to
go to his new parish one of his neigh
bors said to the little boy: 80 your
father is going to work in New Bed
ford, is he?' The little boy looked up
wonderingly. "Oh, no. he said.
Only Preach
-McSwatters: Your wife flares up
a. SOu liCIll OIlGu. MICS WlGterS:
Yes. She is stlll one of my old flames.
She: Have you ever been through
algebra? He: Yes; but it was in the
night, and | didn't see much of the
place.
Rural Teacher What current event
OF great interest can you give he this
morning? Small Girl (eagerly)-My
ma has just made twenty tumblers OF
jelly.
Economical and Wealthy Father
do you know, my son, what strict
economy would do for you?' Robert
Il know what il has done for HE. IA
ther, and l respect you for it."
--Brown-"There goes Wheeler, the
most popular man iii town. Tine girls
are just crazy over him" Jones
impossible. Why, he's only book
keeper and as poor as church
mouse" Browh-''That may be. But
he Is the owner of new tandem BIZ
cycle.
Papa, are you growing taller all
the time ? No, my child. Why do
you ask p Cause the top of your
head is poking through your hair
Suppose some cold morning you
should go into neighbours house and
find him busy at work on his windows
scratching away, and should ask
what he was doing, and he should re-
ply: Why l am trying to remove
the frost, but as fast us | get it off one
square it comes on another" would
you not say: why, man, let your
windows alone and kindle your fire,
and the frost will come off" And
have you not seen people who try to
break off their bad habits one after
another without avail? Well, they
are like the man who tried to scratch
the frost from his windows. Let the
fire of love to God, kiudled at the altar
of prayer, burn in their hearts, and
the bad habits will soon melt away.
InLrI- Ii N,fI & Y III Nv