The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-06-18
Just a Bouquet Of sunfowers.

Several stories which the reader can or
cannot believe. just as he sees fit, were
started after the Seneca tornado, two
years ago. had violated the state law in
reference to the malicious destruction of
property and departed for parts unknown,
says the Kansas City Journal. Probably
the best one was this: A man was riding
along on horseback with jug of whisky
tied with a strap to the saddlehorn. Aft
er the blow had ceased the jug handle was
found inside the jug and the strap was
sticking out of the nozzle, the jug having
been blown inside out without spilling a
drop of liquor
Here is another pretty fair one: farm
er was blowing around an oblong patch
of ground one day. and at night the tract
OF unpIoWed land still contained about five
acres. When he quit for the day he left
the pillow sticking in the furrow, as farm
ers often do. The tornado came along and
caught the pillow, taking it around and
around the land until it was all plowed.
A kansan abroad recently found crowd
that did not seem to appreciate his con-
Versatlon concerning the conspiracy OF
the foreign capitalists to compel the pop
ulist farmers of Kansas to pay their hon
est debts, so he pulled out his stock of tor
nado stories, hoping to attract attention.
1 saw a cyclone once" said he that
picked up a strawstack and moved it
it was
Two or three of the auditors yawned and
the Kansas man tried it again.
Another time" said he, Il saw twist
er suck. sixty gallons of molasses out of
a barrel in front of grocery store and
distribute it to every family in town who
had a bucket out on the back step for
the milkman."
He cleared his throat and began again.
Back in the 70's we had a terrible cy-
clone in Western Kansas 1t blew the
cracks out of the fences, pulled a cistern
out of the ground, moved township line,
and changed the day of the week."
This last fusilade induced one of the
listeners to speak up. He said: Il do not
know much about cyclones, but once when
l was at sea l saw a waterspout pick up
tons and tons of water and carry it mile
and
Hold on" cried the Kansan. sIf YOU
are going to degrade this conversation to
the level of a common lying contest, 1
will retire" And he got up and walked
away pompously
A prominent Kansan is accredited with
telling this:
Tell you what's a fact have known
it to blow twelve days and nights on
stretch and hold a sheep up against the
DEATH
Probably the story which better illus.
trates the position Of the populist farmer
in Kansas than any told in recent years
is this:
Kansas man Visiting the easO-Yes. sir
Kansas is the country for the farmers.
LOOK at her vast prairies covered with
crops so heavy that they make whole
counties sink down in the middle Look
at her corn crop, so vast that it crowd
ed township lines into the river.
same Kansas man (at the populist meet
ing IN ms own orhood)-Fellow-suf
ferers dry weather, Hessian flies and
gold bugs prey like vampires on our state
Our once fair state is plastered over with
mortgages so heavy that we have to bore
a mole through them with an auger in Or
der to plant corn. Rouse, We slaves!
There has been a premium offered for
the capture of the man who started this
clever lie: "A Kansas farmer planted his
farm in popcorn, and gathered it into his
barn. The barn took fire, the corn popped
and filled a D-cre field. His old mare
thinking it snowstorm, lay down and
froze to death"
In discussing the question in Western
Kansas not long ago, citizen from the
short grass country said: Il think that
Kansas is in need Of a good deal of irriga
ton. There are times when it is so dry in
the western part of the state that Won
have to soak a hog over night before he
will hold swill. There are places where
WAler Is wet only on one side. | know
pace where the owner of a ferry boat
hauls water eleven months in the wear TO
Keep his ferry running. Why, water is so
scarce there that the men won't drink it.
The cause of this drouth is that the rail-
roads of Kansas have cornered the water
supply of the state to put into their
stock"
Here is another drouth story told by a
travelling man. 1 was driving across the
country 20 a little town in western Kan.
sas the other day, when 1 met a farmer
hauling a wagon load of water.
Where do you get water?" said I.
Up the road about seven miles," he re-
piled.
And you haul water seven miles for
your family and stock?''
"YeD."
why in the name of sense don't you
dig n well?"
Because it's jest as far one way as the
other, stranger