The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-02-04

Il uSCu " luInh, u DCilCN Il Sllll iii
that beautiful women have beautiful
minds"
Hush! you must o talk; you will
grow excited"
"Nurse-you know i cannot live
long? Well, let me be happy'-he gave
a sort of sob-laugh-"be happy for a
few minutes; let ME talk just for once.
l have been silent all my life, | have
thought all my life. | never found any
one to talk to-eXcept Ruby. and she
ran away with another man; that
was because / was poor. Bring over
your chair and sit beside me. All! that
is right; am glad you are kind and IN
derstand me. | suppose you know how I
first became i'll, and my quarrel with
my relatives. OF course, it is my own
fault: | ought not to have been different
to my brothers. You see, l was a bit OF
a dreamer; | read too many books when
a boy, and | preferred painting pictures
to studying law. and writing stories to
sitting in a London Office. l dreamed a
good deal, and | never went about town
like my brothers did. / don't know
why did not. My sisters noticed 1T.
They were jolly girls, kind-hearted,
and that sort of thing; but they didn't
care for my taciturn, quiet ways. II
my brothers came home late from a
fellows rooms they used to let them
in and help them to their rooms and
say nothing about it. They thought
1t rather good sport, and were annoyed
with me because l didn't ever stop out
late, or get mixed up in a row, or drink
too much.
Il never found any one who took an
interest in things l liked. Because l
wouldn't go into the law or medicine or
banking, | was kicked out from home.
Give me something to drink, Nurse.
This doesn't tire you? I am glad.
wanted to tell some one why | failed,
and all that, before | died, and you
seem-Well, | thought | could work and
live with my pen, and keep my dreams
and ideals to myself. By God, Nurse, |
tried! | tried hard. | had money at
first. Life seemed gay and jolly. But
kept straight. That was one of my
ideals, because l felt sorry sort OF
telt all women were sacred, and unless
l loved one-so l kept straight.
But a London lodging is not inspir-
ing. l began to long for my books
and fowers, and my comfortable room;
began to long to see my brothers and
sisters faces. | asked if / might come
home and work in my old rooms. | re-
celved no answer. / got depressed. My
ideals got mixed. Nothing seemed real
except vice.
"One night l got drunk with the
lights and the noise Of London. ]
supped at a big restaurant, principally
on champagne. / met her that night,
| never cared for her, and l had cared
for others and passed them by. She
loved only gold and jewels; she was a
lump of ice-well, l froze my ideals
with that lump of ice!
Il wandered about town, tired OF
everything. l was i'll. l grew worse.
Then they found me and took me home.
How they worried me! How they piled
me with questions! How they stared
at me! Why was | so different from
others?'
Il, too, began to ask myself that
question. The first time | slip, | break
my neck; but my brothers make it their
business to slip-gracefully and care
fully.
For a long time they kept me at
home, always worrying me, trying to
make me talk, trying to make me
sensible Then, at last, | made them
bring me here And at last | am hap
Ply.
There! What have l been saying,
Nurse? You must not think too badly
of me; at the worst, l am only a fool.
Hank! it is dawn. Do you hear the
sparrows chattering? 1t reminds me of
the country. l can see the faint light
stealing through the gray curtains, and
the wind is shaking the blind to and
fro.
Would you read to me, Nurse? |
don't suppose you have a 'Swinburne?'
He used to be my favorite poet. 1t was
he who made me dream, I think. Nurse.
| wonder why l have never been able
TO talk to any woman, as l am talk
ing to you?"
Then he lay for some time silent, lis
tening to the sparrows and the wind
rustling the curtains together.
The nurse had risen. She stood op-
posite the mirror and gazed at herself.
She loosened the hair on her forehead a
little, so that the wavy curls fell natu-
rally on either side. Then she crossed