The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-11-17
Paragraphs About Men ana Women.

W 10 IL ClcNcI anu amusing tOllcctlOn
of spicy cpigrams reprinted by the j.
). Ogilvic Company by arrangement
with the New York Press. There has
been good deal Of guessing as to
whether or no Up. W." is married
man, opinions differing widely on the
subject. One critic says, "1bc au-
torshii Of the captivating Reflections
Of a bachelor remains incog, but We
are confident that the author is un-
married because lie knows so little. +"
Another: Reflections of Bachelor
is very clever work because the au-
thor has been married these 40ycars. !"
Here are few Of his "rchcctions:'
The smallest and biggest thing in the
world is the heart Of little child.
a woman knows just about as much
about politics as man does when to
leave off his winter undcrclothes.
a bald-headcd man never cares
much for ghost stories.
There never was married woman
who sympathizcd with an old bachc-
lor. and there never was a married
man who didn't.
Culture is woman S ability to smile
naturally when waiter spills gravy
down the front of her dress at din
ncr party.
You can size up a man pretty we'll
by thinking whether he is most like a
crab, guinea pig or an oyster.
The average woman idea of ccono-
my is never to throw away sour milk.
Thorc is nothing as aggravating as a
man with irregular habits. unless it's
a woman with regular ones.
Love is disease, and marriage is
generally it's best anti-toxin.
When a girl is 90, she writes love
with an exclamation point when she s
30 she uses question mark.
If every man could sec the girl he is
in love with cat her dinner when no
body was watching her, there would
be more old bachelors.
wonder how the ministers know
the Sunday newspapers are Sc bad.
Some women would rather have Il
hyphcn in their names than home.
St. Peter couldn't have been mar
ricd; il lie had been, he wouldn't t have
the heart to keep any married man out
Of heaven.
4 woman never makes SO many cX-
cuscs to company for the looks Of the
house as she does just after she has
spent two whole days getting it ready.
Love is like hash; you never know
what you are likely to strike in it.
Women aren' the only gossips.
Women hearts are like egg shells
"a great deal tougher than they seem.
A woman will cry over a pathetic
baby story, and then box her chill
dren's cars because they won't be
quiet and let her read.
When all the women callers insist
that his first baby is perfect image
of himself, man sneaks up in the
garret and looks in looking glass
A man wears love about as long as
he does suit of clothes; woman
wears it as long as she does her hair
y. man would rather be henpecked
than have double chin.
Next to teaching girl to play
whist, man loves best to hold the
cans while his wife puts up peaches.
lie who loves and rupsaway will
live to love another day.
It's not that the good die young,
but that the young die good.
Love is always pictured with bow
and arrow and pair of wings. The
bow represents woman's lips, the ar
row is her tongue, and the wings are
for him to fly away with.
Some men succeed by ability; others
rely on whiskcrs.
n man quarrels with woman for
the sake of making up again; wo-
man makes up with man for the sake
of quarreling again.
When Adam heard the gate of Eden
slam shut, he probably said he had &!
ways wanted to know what there was
outside, anyway.
If Enoch Arden had come back and
found that his wife hadn't got mar
riod, he would probably have gone to
sea again.
The only people that know much
they don't tell are editors and milk
men. 1.
The difference betwcen journalist
and newspaper man is that one has
long hair and the other long head.
Men are like wild they
won't do much damage as long as they