The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-10-07
THE HUSBAND FOUND IT OUT.
Result of an Attempt Made by n Dung
Wife to Keep Her own Counsel.

Result of an Attempt Made by a oung
Wife to Keep Her own Counsel.
"Never try to deceive your husband,
my DEAR" said Mrs. Tin Wedding to
Mrs. June Bride. st pays even less
than getting married"
what a dreadful remark" muir
INJURED Mrs. June Bride, ''and you are
ield up as a model happy couple, too"
"No, never try to deceive your hus-
band" continued Mrs. Tin Wedding
with feeling. Women aren't clever It
covering up things and we always get
caught. A man with half our sense can
catch us, my dear, even if he has to risk
his life in the effort. / shall never for
get the first time l tried to deceive Mr..
Tin Wedding. We had been married
just as long as you have. He hated to
have me use anything on my face, even
a little rice powder. and at first made
the sacrifice That's where I made my
mistake. At last one day heard of
skin tonic which, if applied every night,
would make the skin white and pink,
soft, beautiful and smooth to look at
l was tempted and did fall. We lived at
| the hotel then, and as he worked nights
and slept days | had a beautiful chance
TO try it. I bought bottle, and the
label on it looked like yellow journal.
ism poster. thought: This will never
do Then happy thought came to me.
said, I will order an empty beer bottle
and put the tonic in that | did and
went to bed after applying good part
| of it vigorously with soft rag accord
| ing to directions. It's queer, but lit
| tie exultant feeling always comes when
one starts in to deceive another. [ inn
agined I was much improved the next
morning and was merry all day. When
Mr.. Tin Wedding got up and went to the
bathroom that afternoon he spied the
beer bottle. He called OUT
"'Have you been ordering beer?'
"'No, indeed | answered cheerful
ly.
"'Yes, you have he insisted.
"'Nonsense,' | answered.
"'But here it is he replied, pointing
to that awful bottle. Who has been
here that wanted beer? In other words,
for whom did you order this beer?'
81 looked, and to my horror the skin
tonic had worked up during the day and
had a most beautiful German-like bead
on it.
"'That isn't beer said I.
"'Do you dare say to my face that
| isn't beer?' said he. III drink it and
see
"'Please don't pleaded, for de-
clare it isn't beer
"'What is it then?' he asked. Men,
you will find, my dear, are most obstin-
ate creatures. Suddenly | remembered
that my mother had cautioned me not
to tell my husband every little thing, as
not doing so would help me to maintain
my individuality, and at the same time
retain his respect: so began that min
ute and fatty refused to tell him what
was in the bottle.
"T will soon see.' he kept saying.care
:, fully washing and drying thin glass
My heart almost failed me when saw
him begin to pour, and was relieved
to see the foam rise up like soap suds.
"'I will see, madam he repeated, for
the seventeenth time raising the glass to
his lips. He took three big swallows
and then he jumped up like buckine
: broncho and yelled like half-drunl
cowboy. He dashed the glass on the
tiled floor and he uttered all the explos
ives known to swearing mankind.
: "'What was it" he finally yelled
Z shaking me.
s "'You said it was beer l answered
9 with a cold, calm, callous, calculating
q smile, which froze on my face, for he be
S gan to turn deathly pale and to staggel
= toward the bedroom. I flung myself OF
n my knees and confessed everything
r and when 1 was crouching there, sob
: bing as if my heart would break. wha
t do you think Mr.. Tin Wedding, who re
q covered with astonishing rapidity, said
D He said:
l. "I knew all the time that it WASH
beer, and J. knew that I would know
what it really was. Women never ca
d keep anything
?, Don't try to deceive your husband
e my dear Mrs. June Bride. Men ar
. | repuIar cIeuths N " Cun