The San Francisco call., 1897-11-21
WRECKAGE.
BY HOWARD V. SUTHERLAND.

themselves out to criminals for the sake of
what there may be in it. Thanks to our cleo
| toral system and the fact that in few years
they may be grubbing ior a living themselves
| the majority of our Judges find 1t more con-
veuient to keep on friendly terms with the
lawyers than to risk encountering their en-
nifty by humbling them with dignihed CEN
| sure 1t is also TO be regretted that the San
Francisco Bar (Baa) Association is not power
| ful and independent enough to expel from It's
! fold the black sheep that bring 1t into dis
| repute What between puppet judges ana
! LAWYERS who are either the catspaws OF bosses
or law breakers the conviction that the ad-
! ministration of justice in California is hol-
low farce is not to be wondered a., nor en-
| tirely without foundation.
L am opposed TO making comparisons be-
| tween condi tions in this country and in Great
| Britain as is so commonly done, holding as
do tnat we are law unto ourselves, and that
in time we shall satisfactorily regulate the
| evils from which we at present suffer. 1t
takes time for appreciation of the differ
ence between liberty and license to be diff
| fused throughout young nation; freedom Is
| often made an excuse for folly. and evils are
! tolerated because dissatisfaction is usually an
attribute of age and progress
We are, however. growing older and are be-
coming dissatisfied, and before long will de-
!
themselves leaders, shall De men of finer
grain than they are at present certain
| amount of dignity will even be required of
Police Judge and the men who are elected to
the higher courts will be such as are without
stain and above the very suspicion of inf1u-
ence CORFU ption. And, unless 1 err, many
of our most prominent legal luminaries, who
ride at present like corks upon the frothy
waves of prosperity, will ere many years be
cast upon the sands and serve as object-les-
s ms to their successors. VINO will consider
the peoples interests rather than their own.
And W hen that day comes-when our lawyers
| fight corruption instead Of furthering it. when
they protect the community instead of the
criminal who has outraged it-felons will not
continue to go unpunished nor the hanggen-
tleman's hands be manacled as they are at
present.
| Is there one n this city willing to take
! up the cudgel in defense of the undeIworked
telephone girlf She is still in the heyday of
glorious young womanhood, is given 10 chew
! ing gum and reading thrilling stories wherein
the Hon. ALTERNATE Montfitzpalm elopes
! with Miss Hortensia de Hortense. and lives
| conten edy off her princessly income. She
has all "a girls longing for romance, and yet
she leaves her home to help prosaic telephone
magnates out of their difficulties and get
other people into them. She knows that she
! is thing of beauty, something beyond the
reach OF the people she deals with (Which is
not unfortunate for herr, and that she is in
many res poets even more powerful than those
! to whom she condescends 10 lend her services.
! If she prefers to read The latest novel in the
telephone-i oom it is prOba bly, because there is
| babe at home whose yowling would disturb
| her thoughts: If she sees fit to hold the line
herself and converse for twenty minutes with
| her friend in the Mission, it shows that 1t is
! her disposition to be sociable and that she
| takes healthy interest in the welfare of her
! OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES in particular. I
have often requested one of these beings 10
connect me with party, and have been Sc
vereiv rebuked for so doing. AT first such
treatment would make me angry, but now 1
know that the telephone lady probably knew
what was best for me, and acted up 10 that be-
lief If reforms are to be brought about in this
matter the city should pension the girls off
with $250O year and run the business itself,
letting men attend to the switching. But the
girls must be comfortably provided for first,
because it to benefit them that the tele-
phone system was organized.
I believe in every dog having its day, but
the number of those days should be num-
bered, even those of man. Owing l
suppose. to the unsettled condition of local
politics. San Francisco is 1T present without
hourly object lessons in the numerous dis
eases unto which the canine family is heir
This is not it should be and some agile
person should be Immediately appointed to
fill the position and chase the stray dogs
from our thoroughfares.
New York is undoubtedly progressive city
and is blocks ahead of San Francisco in num-
erous respects. l see for instance, that the
authorities are insisting that AL houses shall
be numbered with white figures on black
border not less than two inches high. The
mum bers will not BE- placed on the doors
themselves, but on the walls OF the houses
between the door aud the nearest window
Considering the conspicuousness of the loca-
ton, might it not be we'll for US, or for a
goodly number OF u.s. to adopt the same
measures with regard to keyho'es?
Mr.. Phil Francis of the Stockton Mail, in COM
menting on the Society of American Assassins
while praising il, states that in his opinion 1t
might be better to kill off freak Journalists in
stead of the freaks them selves, as advised
There is much truth In Mr.. Francis sugges-
ton, but as reforms brought about so
slowly nowadays / fear we must be satisfied
for the present with my own little scheme It
will not attract so much attention and at the
same time will give our yellow brothers a
chance to reform. The country press, which
is cleanly press, can help whip them into
line II SO minded
The young couple of Boston who were mar.
rfed in cage containing two ferocious lions
the other day were not as witless as MANY
people imagined. They probably wanted to
become accustomed to fighting as soon as DOS
sible and expected the royal beasts to give
them an 1nK1ng as TO what married life would
be like. The tragedy began when the min IS ter
VINO uhl'eo them was rebuked by the Minis
terial Association and expelled from lis rank.
In reality he should have been promoted for
bravery.
THE PHILOSOPHICAL LAMB.
Mary had little lamb
That loved to eat and sleep;
1t fell into a butchers hands
And, as the animals soul said to the soul of