The record-union., 1897-05-21
HE DIDN'T LIKE HER.
But He Wanted 1t Made Pleas ant for
the New Girl.

Hilber-What's the matter with the
| dinner?
Mrs. Hilber-It is a trifle late to-
night, dear. You know we have a new
maid
Hilber-Umph, All right I sup
| pose we have got to bear it. but it's a
strange thing to me why a new girl
can't step right in and do the work
without any delay. She is probably
as stupid as all the rest you engage.
Mrs. Hilbert don't know. L thought
she seemed real bright.
| Hilber-Well, you usually think they
are bright the first day. Where is my
paper?
| Mrs. Hilbert don't know, I'm sure.
| Hilber-You know where it ought to
| be. For the last two years that paper
has been put on the table in the hall
every evening. Tonight it isn't there.
That girl won't do
| Mrs. Hilber-But, my dear, give her
chance. l was so busy giving her
| other directions that 1 neglected to tell
her where to put the paper.
| Hilber-What if you did? She ought
to have known. What has she got on
her shoulders, anyway, head or a
pumpkin? Anyone with grain of
sense would know that / read two ev-
eninS papers. If she had stopped to
| think she would have inferred that I
have one of them left at the house. At
lany rate, she would at least have looked
at the door for it. Finding it there, she
would have Immediately asked you
where its proper place was. Do you
mean to tell me she isn't stupid?
won't have such an ignoramus in the
house. Well get along tonight the
best way we can Pack her off to-mor-
row morning the first thing, and in the
meantime hurry up the dinner, what
ever it consists Of (Mrs Hilber leaves
the room obediently and presently re-
turns).
| Mrs. Hilber-Come, dear, dinner is
served.
| Hilber-What, without the gong?
| What did l pay SO for a dinner gong
| for. if it wasn't to be rung? / don t
suppose she knows how to use it, any
| how. You'll have to get up at 4
O'Clock in the morning and give her an
hours lesson for month-that is, if we
were going to keep her. She's prob
ably been living on a Norway farm,
where they whack a tin dipper a meal
times.
! Mrs. Hilber-She couldn't be expect
ed to know about the gong, dear, If /
didn't tell her.
| Hilber-Yes, she could If she had
any observation she would have seen
it. If she had any intuition she would
have OWNED its use Let me hire the
next servant. I'll advertise tomorrow,
let them call at my Office, and dictate
! beforehand list of questions to my
| stenographer that will cover all the
things we want done. Well, let's go in.
| (They enter the dining room) What
| did you say her name was?
| Mrs. Hilber-Agnes.
| Hilber-Agnes, Well, Agnes (half So
| lliloquizing), We'll keep you tonight, but
| I'll ship you tomorrow morning if
nave to pay you a months wages.
| Mrs. Hilbert engaged her only for
a week, dear. Sh-here she comes. cThe
new girl enters, quietly serves the soup,
and While Hiber looks at her intently
/ out Of the corner of his eyes, withdraws
to get another dish).
| Hf1ber-You say you engaged her for
a week?
| Mrs. Hilber-Yes. A week on trial.
/ She wouldn't come any other way
| Hilber-W Wouldn't, eh? Well, | don't
blame her. girl like that wants a
good home. Make it pleasant for her
and perhaps she'll stay.
| Mrs. Hilber (aghasD-Why, I didn't
| know you wanted to keep her.
! Hilber-Keep her? Why, of course.
That girl can't be more than twenty.
/ and she's as pretty as a peach-St
Louis Post-Dispatch.