davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

The demand upon the mayor for assist
ance by those who say they are needy
and have families depending upon them
is very great. 1t is apparent that the
mayor ought not to be required TO listen
to these applications for charity. lie
cannot tell whether the applications are
meritorious or not, and he has no time
80 investigate them and no one at his
command upon whom he can call to make
investigations. Besides, he has no char
ity fund.
There are two things in connection with
the needy poor of this county which ought
to be done one is that all the charitable
organizations, whether connected with
churches or not. ought to be united under
one directing head. and the other is that
the county ought to build an aims house
on the county farm.
At present many needy people are I'M
provided for because of the lack OF or
ganization among the charities and the
want of some one capable of investigat-
ing thoroughly the applications for as
sistance. and a good many people who
could very well help themselves are the
recipients of more charity than they are
entitled to. The entire charity business
of the city and county is conducted in
hap-hazzard sort of way that is well
calculated to increase the number Of seek
ers for charity.
Many are willing to contribute to char
ity and much is given to the needy poor,
but because of the lack of organization
the means contributed to charity fails
to do all the good it might. We have
called attention 10 this lack of organiza-
ton among the charity distributors many
times. but without avail. There does not
appear to be any one willing to take hold
Of the matter and bring order out OF
chaos.
The pressure of the applicants for char
ity upon the mayor may lead him to take
steps that will result in an organization
Of the charitable bodies and such a
handling of the charity funds as will in
sure more satisfactory distribution OF
what Is donated 10 charity.
The question OF erecting an aims house
on the county farm should be kept be-
fore the people. with an aims house the
number who would apply for charity
would be very much smaller.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
Didn't Get the Information.

When I4ayard was British minister at
Constantinople, says an exchange, he re-
quested a Pasha to forward him some sta
tistics about the population and commerce
of his province. and received this reply;
MY illustrous friend and joy of my liver
The thing you ask of me is both difficult
and useless. Although l have passed all
my days in this place, ! have neither
counted the houses. nor have l inquired
into the number of the Inhabitants; and as
to what one person loads on his mules and
another slows away in the bottom of his
ships, that is no business of mine. o my
soul! my lamb seek not after the things
that concern thee not. Thou contest to us
and We welcome thee; go in peace. OF a
truth thou hast spoken many words, and
there is no harm done, for the speaker is
one and the listener is another. After the
fashion of thy people thou hast wandered
from one place to another, until thou art
happy and content in none"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
BRIGHT BITS.

If some people could realize that the
world doesn't care a rap what size shoes
they wear they would be a good deal more
comfortable.-Tit-Bi
"A Premature Demand,-The Footpad-
Yer money or yer life
The Count-B-but, sair, I shall not be
married until re next month.-Puck.
-'Friendship-"Pen what is your
idea of friendship" 1T is letting a wo-
man tell you her troubles, when you are
dying to tell her yours Chicago Record.
-Daughter-"George says he fears he
can't support me in the style I'm accus-
toned to-" Father" Marry him. ANYHOW.
| can't keep it up much longer myself" =
London Figaro.
-Investiga ting.-Mamma - OF course,
you will find oud how dot young man is
fixed before you gif your consendt.
Papa-Surei ! am to half talk init his
assignee to-morrow.-Puck.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
The Elephant and the Policeman.

A most remarkable incident happened in
the early hours of Sunday morning to a
police constable on duty in the High road
Clapton, says the Westminster Gazette
1t appears that on Saturday night a trav-
ellng circus gave performance on Mount
Pleasant fields. and as is usual struck
the tent soon after the close of the enter
tainment. Among the animals was a per-
forming elephant, and this, in the charge
of keeper, was dispatched to the next
stopping place. All was quiet as the pair
Jogsed along, but when nearing Goulton
road, High road, Clapton. the keeper no.
ticed that the elephant would walk on the
pavement. but he little thought of the
trick 1t was about to play. Standing Just
round the corner of the road was a po-
lice constable, sheltering from the wind.
and quite unconscious of the approach of
the elephant, whose tread gave forth no
sound. AS the animal reached the corner
he put his trunk round and just touched
the constable'S arm. The latter turned to
see what il was, and on seeing the ele-
plant was seized with alarm, and took to
his heels along the road, closely pursued
by his tormentor The keeper tried to
call the animal back but it was of no
avail, for the retreating figure of the con-
stable occupied the sole attention of the
elephant who kept up the pursuit until
the officer darted into a garden and closed
the iron gates behind him. The elephant
stood at the other side of the ratings,
but made no attempt to get at him, and.
much to his relief on the arrival of the
keeper, turned and went on its way
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
Tine MORNING NEWS IS publiahed

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and Is server 20
subscribers IN the city, or sent Dy man
at 81 90 a month, $50 Tor six mon1hs' al"
5000 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mall SIX
times a week (without Sunday lssue''
three mouths. 500; six months Si'Vo' one
year. $50. -.----
The WEEKLY NEWS, 2 issues week.
Monday and Thursday. by mall one
year. Sl.0o.
Subscriptions payable in advance he-
NIT nv postal order, check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at FISK Oh
eenders. - ---
Transient advertisements, other thah
special column, local or reading notices,
amusement and cheap or want column ~
cents a line. Fourteen lines of agate type
equal to one inch square in Depths
the standard Of measurement. CONTRACT
rates and discounts made known on APP
plication at business office.
orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place of busi-
ness may be made by postal cara OF
through telephone No. Gle. Any IRE guar
fly in delivery should be Immediately re-
ported to the Office of publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah
Ca.
EASTERN OFFICE, % Park Row, New
York City. c. S. Faulkner. Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
Two Sfnmmerern.

One day last week, says an exchange, a
commercial traveller, who stammered very
much called on a dealer with whom he
was very intimate. After the usual greet
ings, the afflicted bagman asked the latter
how his wife was.
"Oh, she's very well: just drop in and
see her. will you? I'm sure she'll be pleas
ed. If you do
Now, the tradesman had a maid who
was afflicted with the same complaint as
the commercial traveller, so, wishing to
see the result, followed him. In answer
to his ring, the girl opened the door, and
said: "W-w-hat d-d-do y-you -w-w-want,
s-sir?''
He began: II w-w-w-w want t-t-t-t--'
He never got any further A sounding
smack across the mouth was the result
with the words:
I'm t-t-teach you t-t-to m-mock a
p-p-p-p- poor g-g-g-girlp'
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
INDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

MISUNDERSTANDING Commandery No. T.
X. T.
Special Notices-Bald Challenges the
world. r. D. & VIM. baltimore; Bids Want
81. Harry Wiliink. Commissioner; Liquor
Licenses. City Of Savannah; Notice. w. r.
Fulton: Don't Lose Your Discount, b. H..
Levy & Bro; Special Notice, Chris. Con-
nor. w. Z. Behnken and Henry Lehwald;
Cash Paid for Old Gold and Silver, J. x.
Simon.
Insurance Statement Semi-Annual
Statement OF the United States Branch of
the Thames and Mersey Marine Insurance
Company
Umbrellas-Leopold Adler.
Which Is Cheapest-B. II. Levy & Bro.
A Handsome Colored Map-P. f. Clarke
New York City.
.Amusements-Sisson Company in The
Colonel and Wild Oats. at Theater, Feb. II.
Legal Notices-Citauons from Court Of
Ordinary.
Hides and Wool-R kirkland.
Medicai-Colds, Munyon's Home Remedy
Company; Duffy's Pure Malt Whisky.
Steamship Scheduies-Ocean Steamship
Company.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
The TeIenhone in Kentuckr.

According to a Kentucky paper. when
e telephone was first introduced into that
state an old farmer who did not exactly
understand the working of the invention
bought q new pair of boots for his son.
who lived down in Texas. He hung the
footwear across the wire at shutdown one
evening. During the night some one took
the boots and placed pair of old ones
across the wire. Next morning the old
he saw the old boots. He hastened into
the house, eXclaiming to his wife: Say,
Sal, this here tellerphone Is the best thing
I'm blasted eff he didn't send the old uns
homeri
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
pensary.

a benefactor to the human race has been
raised VI by Indiana. lie is the genius
who has invented an apparatus to infalli-
by determine The age Of eggs. 10 the saw
Ing of many disagrecble moments to thou
sands Of transporting persons. The gen.
ius, a student OF nature. noted that the
lrat thing a hen docs after she has laid
an egg IS 20 kick vigorously. and then
cGckle. ii Is the kick that he proposes to
utilize. The apparatus consists OF a self
iuhing rubber stamp. to be attached 10 the
hens leg. When she kicks. naturally tho
stamp will come into contact with the new
egg. thus fixing beyond question the da.o
Of ita advent. A calendar clock attach
ment might be connected with the rubber
stamp, 80 that not only the year. month
and date would be printed upon the egg.
but the day Of the week. hour and minute
would also appear. The inventor de-
clares the apparatus viii fll long felt
want
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
Hard WorIs GETTING a Jury.

I'm some sections of Arkansas" said
one of the representatives from that state
TO the Washington Post, people have q
very strong objection to serving on tu.
ries. When / was at home last fall
tain judge in one Of the rural districts
having occasion 90 try an important case
ordered the sheriff 10 impanel jury
When two days had passed and no re.
III and demanded TO know why his orders
had not been oheyed
wall. iedge." said the sheriff. 'I'vS
got Jest ten OF EN- locked up in the iai
we're. and ] turned out the dogs this morn.
in arter the other two.s
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
successor to Thurber.
Memphis Commercial Appeal Dem)

The nation is grateful. Mr.. Mckinley
has selected beautiful editor for his pri-
vate secretary who parts his name and his
hair in the middle. wears eyeglasses. and
will make a lovely addition 10 the orna-
son Porter's picture with variations has
now been made public. and we could ask
no more. That Doric brow. those futted
locks, those eyes. those nose. those new
store clothes have led as a willing cap
tive. Criticism Is dumb. Admiration
sings a joyful song. Satisfaction Is COM
plete We swim upon the floor at the feet
OF j. Addison.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

An ordinance before the Baltimore city
council prohibits the wearing of any hat
or other hoadgear whatsoever in places of
public amusement. Now, that is a ltuo
too severe. There are certain bald-head-
ed gentlemen who cannot endure draughts
and arc necessarily compelled 10 wear
skull caps. And then there are a few
ladies who must. for reasons. wear head
gear of some kind. with ribbons tied IN
der the chin. Are these people to be de-
MED the pleasures OF the theater. simply
because II IS desired to st rid OF the out
rageously bis halsg
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

Whether or not a trust or monopoly is
offensive and wicked is all owing TO who
is running it, it seems. Senator Tilman
South Carolina shall have close monop-
oily of the whisky business, yet he is I'M
slterably opposed to a number of gentle
men of Virginia, Maryland and New York
operating a tobacco trust.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
The sooner the Better.
From the Boston Globe (Dem. }.

The sooner the farmer of the west and
south can negotiate a loan on good Sc
curity, az cheaply as his fellow citizen who
happens to live in an eastern city the
sooner will a long-standing injustice be
abolished, and the way cleared for a fun
restoration of friendly feeling between all
sections of our country.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

Senator Tillman will probably hear
something with regard TO his autograph
collecting fad when he gets back to South
Carolina. Autograph collecting is past
time, or passion, Of ladies' and dudes and
the senator's constituents know IL. They
regard Il as effeminate. and unbecoming
Of a "horny-handed son of toll, such as
the senator is proud 10 be. However he
may be able to appeass them by telling
them that the autograph collecting was
only scheme to bamboozle "od sher-
man and old Allison" and get them to
listen 20 an argument in favor of the dis
ueneary
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
The Lost Cousin.

A novel reason for curiosity was lately
given by a tall, lank westerner TO a New
England splnster on a southern bound
train, says the Youths Companion. The
western man took the seat beside the
New Englander, it being the only one IN
occupied. She did not look at him, but
though her eyes We're fastened on her
book, she felt his gaze scrutinizing her
face
After a moment he said genially, How
dy do?'
The spinster glanced UP from her book
and seeing the guilelessness of the elderly
face, said, haH-unconsciously, HOW do
you do?"
I'm pretty we'll" replied the westerner
And what might your name be ma am?'
1T might be anything, l presume" re-
turned the spinster, with dignity, and yet
not being able 70 feel exactly offended.
THANK he" said the westerner. looking
somewhat disappointed. II hope there 5
no harm done by my asking"
Certainly not" said the spinster, I'M
bending Il little in spite of herself.
You see; explained the westerner,
coniidenually, I've got cousin about
your age, | should judge, down in Georgia,
that | amt ever seen; and l might come
on her some time just by asking folks
their names; and | don't ever expect to
see her unless it is in jest some such way,
ma am"
After which silence fell upon the two I'M
til, half an hour later, the Westerner spoke
again as he rose, bag in hand.
Il see a seat over there by a middle
aged lady" he said land I'm a going to
see if may be she's the one. You see this
cousins the only living relation I've got.
and should like to run across her; but if
that lady amt the one, there's no use
my trying any further in this car, for all
the rest of the women folks are too
So saying, he went over to the other
seat; but a moment or two later he re-
turned with a crest-fallen expression on
his thin face. She amt the one, either
he said. Then he sank into his seat and
said nothing more until he reached his
destination. when he babe the New Eng
land spinster "Good-byer' and departed
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
a Congressman ON the senate.
From the Hartford Comm Times (Dem.

About the severest thing that has been
said recently about the United States
Senate is this remark made by Congress-
man Samuel M. Clark OF Iowa in a let
ter TO his keokuk newspaper: The Senate
Is merely an academy of hectoring old
useless for every purpose except scold-
ing each other and masquerading before
the country as of some official Importance
in the act" Can a member of the House
of Representatives publish comments of
this kind on the upper branch of congress
and not subject himself to discipline"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

Our esteemed contemporary, the Rich
rnond Dispatch. fires some hot editorial
shot into ''Hanna's patent insides." How
now? May not a man, in this great and
he pleases, if he can get them? II was re-
ported the other day that Mr.. Hanna was
suffering from indigestion. If he has ac-
quired patent insides." it is to be hoped
that he will be able TO get rid Of his all
ment.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

The south has great cause TO feIicltate
herself upon the very desirable class of
immigration she is attracting Hiram C.
Wheeler, few years ago a candidate for
governor of Iowa. has sold his Iowa prop
erty and purchased 1900 acres in Texas,
upon which he will settle and conduct one
Of the largest dairy farms in the world.
Settlers of his class are coming into vari-
Gus parts Of the south, in increasing num-
bers. Their coming, by the way. gives
emphatic contradiction Of the sensational
stories which some northern and western
papers are apparently fond of printing.
to the effect that life and limb and prop
erty are not safe in the south. Such men
as Mr.. Wheeler read the stories. of course,
but they take the trouble to inform them.
selves with regard to the amount of truth
there is in them. And when they investi-
gate they Invariably find that the south
offers even better protection to honest,
sober, peaceable. industrious persons than
many Of the northern states, at the same
time furnishing a better climate and
surer return for investments of capital or
labor, or both
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

Ex-Queen Liliuokalani finds the climate
of Washington too severe for her.. and is
going away. She comes from a country in
which, for purposes of comfort, one ban
dana IS an ample costume at Christmas
time. Naturally, therefore. she cannot
stand the frigidity of Washington in mid
winter.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
operating a tobacco trust.

The park and tree commissions pur-
pose to plant and cultivate a garden of
native wild flowers and Towering trees and
shrubs will meet with hearty approval
and support. Some of the prettiest of flow
ers grow wild in Georgia. and there is
every reason to believe some very fine va
rieties could be evolved by cultivation The
native flowers have not been given the
attention which they deserve
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
CURRENT COMMENT.
wait and See.

From the Baltimore Herald Oem).
The Sugar Trust investigation is all
very interesting and entertaining, but
what in the name of the great Bucepha-
lus, is 1t all going TO amount to?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

The report is revived that Mr.. Cleveland
will make a tour OF the world shortly after
the inauguration OF Maj Mckinley A
similar report was circulated about the
end Of his first term, with probably as
much foundation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

Now that the Bradley-Martin ball is
over, il may transpire that some "popu-
lar" preachers will find il necessary to re-
verse their barrels and knock the bottom
head out
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
Two Big Jobs.
Springfield CAIass.) Republican Qnd).

Congress has only about three weeks
left in which to finish up a large amount
of unfinished business, and Mai. McKin-
ley must straighten out his cabinet tam
gle in the same time. 1t is an open ques-
ton what one has the bigger Job on hand.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12
GEN. Miles House.

We doubt if it is advisable for the gen
eral of the army to receive handsome gifts
from admirng citizens, but there is no
particular reason why the offer to present
Gen. Miles a $4,000 residence in Washing
ton should be made the occasion for a
lengthy debate in the Senate. Residences
were presented to Gems. Grant, Sherman
and Mcclellan, by citizens who wanted to
show their appreciation of the serv-
ices which these generals rendered TO
the country. There are precedents there
fore for presenting a dwelling to Gen.,
Miles.
We have no sympathy, however, with
one Of the reasons advanced why Gen.
Miles should not be permitted TO accept
the proposed present of a $4,000 house in
Washington. 1t is that Coils p. Hunting
ton is the president of the organization
that is soliciting subscriptions for the
present. Mr. Huntington is a very rich
man, and it is asserted that he employs
lobbyists TO look after his railroad inter-
ests in congress, but that is no reason why
he should not help buy house for Gen.
Miles. II is not probable that Gen. Miles
will ever be asked to use his high Office
to advance Mr.. Huntington's interests, nor
is it probable that he would
use it in any such way il
asked to do so. We know no more
of Mr.. Huntington than has appeared in
the public prints. but it is probable that
it is a pretty safe conclusion that if his
record were compared with the records of
those who have seized upon the Miles
house incident to bring him into disrepute,
il would not suffer greatly by the compar-
ison
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

One Of the features" of the last cam
paign vas "the generals " special train
of sumptuous palace cars, in which quar-
tette of ex-generals of the federal army
swung around the circle making political
speeches in the interest of Mckinley. 1t
was understood at the time that Gen. Al
ger. of the quartette. was paying the ex-
penses. But it transpires that such was
not the case. The republican national
committee has recently been called upon
to settle for the costs, in the sum of near
ly $4,000. However, whether Gen. Alger
knocked the bung out of his barrel or not
, during the campaign, he was smart
enough to get a cabinet seat
-S-o-S--
The New York Times says list of the
guests at the Bradley-Martn ball would
fill five of it's columns. So? And yet,
with so many attendants, there were only
two George Washingtons in the crowd!
o. American Society" where is thy ap-
probation of American patriotism Fifty
kings and princes on the floor, and only
two George Westinghouse
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

1t Is said that when Mr.. Bryan was
writing his book he wrote TO MIR Watson
and asked him to contribute a couple OF
chapters 10 it covering his part OF the
story Of the campaign. Tho letter was
not answered. and Mr. Bryan wrote again.
insisting that MIR. Watson write a couple
Of chapters for the book. To this Mr..
Watson replied politely but firmly declin-
ing TO do any such thing. and expressing
the opinion that it was rather late in
the day for Mr.. Bryan to become aware
OF his presence on earth, when he had
not received a word from him during the
campaign.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

There is need for some missionary work
among the detectives of New York. They
are no doubt pretty bright men, gener-
ally But there are some among them
who do not know it all. One of this lat
ter class is named Harmon. He is up"
on matters relating to gambling joints
and the like, but his knowledge of church
matters is sadly deficient. The other day
he got hold Of some squares of paper on
which were certain combinations of fig
ures. lie jumped to the conclusion at
once that they were policy gigs, and ar
rested the man who had them. 1t turned
out that the papers were lists OF hymns
for a church service. Harmon did not
know a hymn list from policy list.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-12

sEMI-ANNUAL STATEMENT FOR
THE SIX MONTHS ENDING DEC. 81
1896 OF THE CONDITION OF THE
UNITED STATES BRANCH OF THE