The record-union., 1897-04-21
SHE DRAWS A CHECK.
Has Money in the Bank and Wants t.
Paw a Bill.

Susan" remarked Mr.. Billingsgate,
when the evening meal was over,
haven't I always been kind and low
ing husband to you?"
Mrs Rillingsgate reflected a moment
as if to consider exceptions, but noting
that Billingsgate seemed to have some
thing on his mind. she feebly assented
and waited for the storm to break.
Haven't 1 talked politics to you,
tried to enlighten your narrow feminine
understanding on matters of State, en-
deavored to broaden your feeble COM
prehension on all matters that to the
ordinary woman are deep and bottom
| less mystery? Have l not absented my
self from the cOngenial company at my
political club that | might drive into
your infnitesimal thinking apparatus
the principles of free coinage and the
aim of the gold bug? Have l not gone
over in every detail the crime of 10,
and sought to instill into your crocodile
Uranium the wicked plan on which our
national banking system fourishes and
eats the heart out of the workingman,
like the worm in the peach, starting on
| the inside and burrowing with greedy
NAV till the worm is on the outside
and the peach on the inside? Have l
not given you my dearly acquired finan-
cial knowledge from day to day-ex-
planned myself over and over again
| till you have assured me that you felt
equal to the emergency of running
national bank all by your lonesome if
the case demanded?"
Again Mrs. Billinesgate admitted that
Joseph was correct as usual, but for
the life of her she could not conceive
what he was driving at. She remem-
bered the lectures on finance as the
only occasion that she ever felt really
and thoroughly bored. She had pre-
tended to understand to hurlor Joseph
and so save a domestic explosion. She
didn't understand, but resolved to bluff
it out.
why of course, Joseph she began
Say no more, womani'' Numbered
Billingsgate Don't attempt to fib over
your mental shortcomings. See, I have
the evidence before me. This was re-
turned to me to-day with my bank
book You don't known any more about
finance than a brooding hen setting on
three PEBBLES and a door knob. Bah,
Away, woman!" and throwing a leaf
of scented note paper on the table, Mr.
Billingsgate stalked majestically out of
the room.
A month before he had given his wife
500 to deposit to her account, instruct
ing her carefully as to the method of
drawing by check, etc. She had made
the deposit correctly, but had omitted
to secure a book of blank checks, and
afterwards, fearing to excite the wrath
of the blatant Billingsgate by asking
for information already given, had
trusted to luck and made out a check
that went all right. That the can
celed original would be returned to her
never entered her mind.
This was what caused Billingsgate to
blaspheme:
Third National Bank:
Dear Sir-Please pay to Mrs, McFinn
50 10 for doing my washing Take it
out of the money I left there lately.
MRS. BILLING GATF,.
P. S.-If you are short, Mrs. McFinn
says it will do just as we'll next week
or you can give it to her son Charlie.
Mrs. Billingsgate is yet wondering
why Joseph objected to that check. She
still insists that it fitted the envelope
much better than the ones Joseph uses
st. Louis Dispatch