Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-02-06
atausiae Gatherings.

b@ When is a lawyer like donkey
When he is drawing a conveyance.
b9- Arkansas has a town named
Credit, Iowa one named What Cheer
and Floriday one called Hurrah.
p@- One Western journal forcibly
characterizes another as "vacillating
as flea twenty minutes after bed
time"
eeg- "Have Scribbler, the author, and
his wife made?" "Oh, yes. She now
reads what he writes, and he eats what
she cooks"
p@ The London telegraph Office is
the biggest in the world. Over 5000
operators are employed, and upwards
of 10000 batteries being used.
B@ Greenland has no cats. How
thankful the Greenlanders should be
Imagine cats in country where the
nights are six months long.
pd- Many men imagine that the
world couldn't get along without them,
but when they die the town in which
they live experiences boom.
s@. The man that forgets a great
deal that has happened has a better
memory than he who remembers a
great deal that never happened.
s@- When man makes up his mind
that he is q good man, he should be
ready to show others what he is good
for, remarks the New Orleans Plea
yuDe.
b6- In single district in India, co.
900 people have died of starvation.
Spared by the plague, annihilated by
hunger. Civilization is sometimes as
cruel as nature.
H@ 1t was Martin Luther who said !:
"He who is not handsome at 20, strong
at 80, educated at 40, and rich at SO,
will never be handsome, strong, educa-
ted or rich.
p@ Usually, the greatest boasters are
the smallest workers." The deep riv-
ers pay a larger tribute to the sea than
shallow brooks, and yet empty them
selves with less noise.
pd1e "Is this fast train ?" asked the
travelling man of the conductor. "Of
course it is," was the reply. 81 thought
so. Would you mind my getting out
to see what it is fast to ?"
s8 People in Japan are called by
the family name first, the individual
or what we should call Christian name,
next, and then the honorifce-thus,
Smith, Peter Mr."
p@r "I tried to pay the new woman
a compliment last night in my speech,
but it didn't seem to be appreciated" ."
"What did you say ?" ~ said that
the new woman would leave large
footprints on the sands of time"
s@r In an advertisement for young
gentleman who left his parents, it was
stated that eff Master Jacky will
return to his disconsolate parents, ne
shall be allowed to sweeten his own
tea."
s6V A colored bootblack in Kansas
City has this sign up at his stand
"Pedal teguments artistically illumina-
ted and fabricated for the infnitesi-
NAL compensation of five cents per
operation"
a1r eff Colonel l-goes on drinking
as he does now, he'll soon not have a
coat to his back" said one friend to
another. "Nor to his stomach either" "
remarked physician who was stand
ing near.
p9 Department officers in Washing
ton get queerly directed letters some
times. One received by the second
auditor the other day was addressed,
"The Onerble I'd Orderly Unnided
States Dreshury, Washington, D. c."
s9 Who ever heard of slandering a
bad man2 Who ever heard of coun-
terfeiting a bad note? SANDER, as a
rule, is the revenge of a coward. 1t
is generally the best people who are
injured in this way.
s@ A little girl who had been very
ohservant of her parents mode of ex-
hibiting their charity, when asked
what generosity was, answered: ut
is giving to the poor all the old stuff
that you don't want yourself"
p@ Lady (engaging cook why did
you leave your last place? Cook-1
couldn't stand the dreadful way the
master and missus used to quarrel,
mum. "What did they quarrel about ?"
"The way the dinner was cooked,
num-"
p@ Dude (at the railway restau-
ranO-Waitaw, got any green peas?
Waiter-Yes, sir have some? "Yass
bwing thwee." "Anything else, sir ?"
"Yass, a strawberry cut in thin slices" "
"All right, boss; anything else"
"Ah, gwacious! what do you take me
fob perfect hog, eh !"
p@ Don't get angry at trifles. Look
at vexations as you will view them 80
days from date. The angry man who
gets the wrong key and pushes and
rattles the door till he breaks the lock,
loses more time than if he had quietly
gone for the right key, and pays for a
new lock besides.
my Lemons are q simple and excel