The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-11-25
e Tale Of Two Jokers.
BY cHAS. b. LEWIS.
Copyright. 's97.l
IL H Copyright.
eSssseeeeeeeessssesseee sesos seee eeeoee

"But don't see it, sir!" 1 protested. -.
Don't you? Well, you go right along
and let him carry out his plan. If you
don't fight back he won't hurt you. We
will play little joke on the jokeful Mr..
Thompson" -
On the afternoon of the 3Oth Mr..
Thompson dropped in and passed jokes
with Mr.. Baker for half an hour, and
we heard u great deal Of laughing in the
private Office. At eight O'Clock in the
evening the postmaster had about
$4,000 in our safe, and the amount al
together was about $4,000. 1t was a
dark and rainy evening. and there were
SO few customers in the store that l let
the clerks go home. At nine o'clock, as
I expected and counted on, Mr.. Thomp-
son arrived. 1t was a walk of five blocks
from his hotel, and he would not have
come out in the rain, except that he
was expecting important letters. He got
none, and the post Office closed after his
inquiry. AS he came through the store
I was all alone. and there was no doubt
in my mind that he was pleased to find
things thus. He took seat on the
counter and began smoking aud asking
me to guess various conundrums, and
at half-past nine o'clock the streets
were quiet and the hour had arrived
for him to show his hand. I sat in a
chair facing him and only few feet
away. OF sudden, and while he was
smiling and laughing, he put his hands
on the counter and leaped forwards and
landed full upon me. Twas carried
backwards to the focr. and he had his
hand on my throat and his knee on my
breast before l could put out finger.
"Be quiet and sensible, now!" he eau
toned. Il am Mr.. Thompson. Some
times l am funny-sometimes not.
There is no funny business about this.
If you keep quiet, shan't hurt you. If
you don't, I'll use you mighty rough!"
l had no idea of struggling with him.
He took from his pocket pieces of rope
and bound my arms and my ankles,
and when he had finished, said:
I'm after the money in the safe, of
course, and of course shall get it. 1t
Will save time and trouble, however, if
you will give me the word. If you are
obstinate about it may have to hold
a lighted match under your nose"
l refused him any answer, and after a
minute he passed into the private Office
and began working at the safe. Icould
hear but not see him. He saw that all
the doors were locked before he left me.
and on such a night as that had lit
tie fear of being disturbed. He took
the list of 20 words l had given him
and started in on the combination.
He had tried eight of them, when Mr..
Baker and two policemen suddenly rose
up from behind screen, each with a
pistol in hand, and Mr.. Baker called out,
in great good nature:
''Ah, there, you funny Mr.. Thompson,
but this is an unexpected pleasure! /
was just dying to hear one of your fun
ny stories, but l hardly thought you'd
call at such late hour!"
Mr.. Thompson was struck dumb for
a moment, but he was man of cheek
as we'll as of humor, and, after catch
ing his breath, he answered.:
"That you, Baker-ha! ha! ha! Did
you ever hear the story of the man who
dreamed he was horse?'
mo, never did. If you are feeling
we'll tomorrow, come around and tell
it. l know it must be funny-ha! ha!
ha! Were you trying to work that COM
bination?"
why, yes, was trying, but have had
no luck. You seem to have expected
me- here tonight"
'Ies, ha! ha! ha! Say. Thompson,
doesn't the situation strike you as rath
Ell funny?"
Eyes, devilish funny-ha! ha! hal"
Same here. shall miss you more
than l can tell. If you have time be-
fore you go 10 state prison, wish you
would write me out few of your best
jokes. The one you were telling reyes
terday was regular corker-ha! ha!
hat"
And for quarter of IN hour more the
two continued to joke each other, while
one of the policemen came out into the
store and released me. 1 didn't feel
very mirthful over the affair, but Mr..
Baker slapped me on the back and ex-
claimed:
Charles, my boy, you mustn't hold
any spite against Mr.. Thompson. He's
very funny man, and if he could only
stay in Greendale for few weeks long
er I'D get fat laughing over his jokes
--ha! ha! ha! Say, Thompson, tell him
the story of the old maid and the COB
lln-ha! ha! hail.
81 don't feel as funny as usual for
some reason" replied Thompson. THE
fact is, think I've got myself boxed
up"
Eyes, just so," replied Mr.. Baker. Il
don't suppose any. funny man can feel
funny when he's boxed up. If you
haven't any more jokes to relate. the
police may walk you over to the Gala
boose."
The funny Mr.. Thompson took his
dose like man. He had played his
hand and lost, and he was not the man
to kick about it. He attempted no de-
Tense, but said he was probably walk
ing in his sleep. He received sentence
Of seven years, and before he was taken
away Mr.. Baker went to the Jail to see,
him and say:
swell, Thompson, any new jokes or
conundrums before you are off?
Nothing to-day" was the reply.
Say, we used to swap some mighty
good things, didn't we?-ha! ha! ha!
Hang it, I wish you were going along
with me-"
"And we'd keep each other laughing
from morning till night. Sorry l can't,
but I'll see you seven years later and
we'll have lots of finn -