Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-07-14

IudC perhaps the AanSan naQ some COLI
nection with the road in some way, posi-
bly, as a local freight agent. SO he wrote
back: please state explicitly on what
account you request transportation" By
return mail came this reply: I've got to
go to Chicago some way, and l don't
want to walk"
Husband-'How do YOU like the
view?'
Wife with ecstacy)-"Oh, 1 am speech
less
Husband-''I shall stay and build a
house. journal Amusanr.
-:o:-
A certain judge, popular enough, but
with a slight tendency to Feasibility,
was holding court. One of this judges
favorite ideas is to go into the details Of
case in a thorough manner and explain
matters at length to the jury, always
under the impression that the members
of that body are not capable of under
standing for themselves.
The case in point had been treated
carefully by the judge, who, as he
thought, had put it so clearly that a
verdict could be given at once, and he
expressed surprise when the jury found
it necessary to leave their seats AS
hour after hour passed and they did not
return, he finally sent in word inquiring
what the trouble was. The reply that
one juror was standing out against the
other eleven angered him so that he sum-
moned the jury before him, and rebuled
the recalcitrant.
But may | say n word?'
eyes, you may!' cried the judge.
swell, then, you see, l was the only
man on your side, and l stood out"
"What is an average?" asked the
TOO .l,n, alo Il H,
but little girl held out her hand eagerly:
please, it's what hen lays her eggs
on" Bewilderment followed, but the
mite was justified by the lesson-book. in
which was written: "The hen lays two
hundred eggs year on an average
Household Words.
"Who is that fellow across the street
there, and what's he raving about? His
arms and jaws are working like those Of
a Popocratic orator at a free silver con-
vention."
Hush. That's Wadley His folks are
afraid he's losing his mind Bought a
high-grade bike the day before the cut"
Cleveland Leader.
-:o:-
At the Savage club, in London. not
long ago. an American visitor introduced.
to the delight of a select circle of guests.
the Louisiana dish, the Iambolaya. its
composition being prescribed in this
metrical form:
Should you wish an Iambolaya,
First you light blazing fire;
In pot you boil the rice;
Cut your onions and such spice
As your palate may desire;
All this fry upon the fire.
Into this you stir the fish,
Cut in pieces; from the dish
Drop the game. The whole keep turning
To prevent the stuff from burning.
Here. now without stint or fearing
Put in ham and keep on stirring:
Now, with skillful hand and easy
In this mixture, rich and greasy,
Pour your rice. Keep stirring steady,
And your Iambolaya's ready
The materials of its composition are
any kind of fish and game, ham, bacon
and odds and ends of anything the larder
may contain implements, a stove or fur
mace, two pots and plenty of wood.
-:o-
Ex-Gov. Jackson of Iowa for many
years was the Hawkeye secretary of
state, and employed in his office quite Il
large clerical force. One afternoon a
rather rusty ruralite wandered in, and
Mr.. jackson Immediately. saw in the
newcomer opportunities for fun. saws
the Chicago Times Herald.
''Hev We got a telephone?" stammared
the caller.
Certainly replied Jackson. ''There
it is on the wall. Help yourself to it,
linen, as the stranger slowly walked uD
to the telephone and began looking it
over, Jackson passed the word among the
clerks to watch the experiment of a iay
in trying to use a telephone for the first
time.
The visitor looked the instrument over
carefully, as if trying to figure out how
to use it. The entire office force was
watching him with unconceaied amuse-
ment. Finally he timidly took down the
receiver, looked at it with evident curl
osity, tapped it gently with his fingers,
and then, giving a glance about the
room, blew the dust off the receiver. and
putting his lips close to it softly said,
"Hello!"
That was too much for the clerks.
The office force burst into a roar of
laughter, and Jackson promptly went to
the. assistance of the old man. Hold
on! he cried. Don't try to talk into
that. That is the receiver, not the
transmitter. Hang it up again, and then
turn the little crank on the right, place
the receiver to your ear, and wait till
central answers
The visitor was looking at Jackson as
curlously as one might regard an es-
capped lunatic. Say" he drawled,
whats the matter with you, anyway?
I'm an expert sent over by the Bell Tele-
phone company to find out what's thas