The Bolivar bulletin. (Bolivar, Tenn.) 1888-1946, 1897-01-22

lesson from old man Bunk Weather
| ford-wihich you understand, the
| Weatherfords have sense and money
and most everything else exceptin fits.
He Chastised the Crosscut Saw.
1t was ON my return back from town
New Year day that l rid around by the
Weatherford place to change colnpli-
| ments and swap lies and tobacco will,
| old man Bunk. Whilst was there julie
Nabors he come begin up to the front
gate with crosscut saw on his shout
ders. Tt would seem like old man Bunk
| had loaned his saw to julie way last
| fall, and from first one thing and then
another julie never could think to fetch
| it back home. Finally at last the old
imam had sent julie word that he would
love TO borry his own saw for few
days, and then julie he fetched it home.
Old man Bunk made out like he was
the proudest in the world to see julie
Nabors that day, and nothin would do
| but julie must come right in and take
| a chair and be seated and change his
breath with somethin a little more
stronger than branch water. Well, of
course, julie was more than willin, and
the old man soon had him feelin power
full welcome and familious like.
And then what do you reckon? Old
man Bunk got up and walked out to the
front gate where the crosscut saw was
leanin agin the palms. He shook his
fist at the saw, and took it up and boxed
it's jaws two or three times. Then he
went out to the orchard and cut him u
good switch and came back and lit in on
that saw. For the next three minnits
he didn't do blamed blessed thing but
give that old crosscut saw the all-over-
est beatin you ever heard tell of. And
between the ticks he likewise give the
saw some plain United States talk.
"Run off from home and stayed six
months, did you? 1 will learn you
better than that if have to knock every
durn tooth you have got down your
throat"
Then the switch burnt the wind, and
you could hear the licks on that old saw
for 200 yards around.
"Now, dadburn you! The next time
you git away from home maybe you
will know the way back"
In the mainline / broke loose and
laughed. did mortally hate to do SO
and julie right there, but it was laugh
or bust and didn't want to bust on the
first day of the New Year. So laughed.
julie Nabors he turned red and white
all over in spots, and looked like a man
that was sent for and couldn't possibly
come across.
When old man Bunk had teliterally
wore his switch out on the saw he
snatched it up and yanlzed it under the
house, shook his double fist at 1t oncst
more and remarked:
"Now stay there, dadburn you, and
the next time let you go maybe you
won't forget the road back home"
After that the old man cooled down
and come in smilin all over himself,
and henceforwards he was as pleasant
as a basket of chips to julie and me. But
julie didn't tarry around and remain
over much longer. He soon made up
a good excuse and went off towards
home.
Never blessed word did say to old
man Bunk about the terrible lickin he
had given that crosscut saw. And he
didn't bring up the subject with me.
But will bet my Sunday boots and my
side whiskers that if that old saw never
does leave home any more till julie Ma
bors comes and totes it off, it will be
right there when the chickens cut teeth
and the evenin stars sing together.
Fresh News from Panther Creek.
And who do you reckon come to see
us on Saturday the first day after New
Year? Who but Aunt Nancy Newton
from Panther Creek. What did she
bring in the way OF Christmas and
New Year gifts? Nothin much to
speak of in that line. But she brung
her dear delightful old self, her thanky
bag and her pipe, and a large assort-
ment of fresh and scandalatious news
from the old settlement.
Now as to me, never did have no turn
to keep up with what is goin on around
amongst the people in general. It takes
my level blamdest to know what is
comm to pass right around home, and
don't have to go a henscratch from
the front gate to find more business than
my muttonhead and lily-White hands
can tend to. But when my Aunt Nancy
comes and throwso off her fly bonnet. and
lights her pipe. and puts her feet to
the fire, all have got to do is to press
the button and then lay low and let
her do the rest.
News I have got, Rufus. and news
on top of news" says the dear old soul
that night after supper. Nobody sick
or dead or gone crazy so fur as know,
but everybody takin Christmas, and
marryin and courtin and lallagaggin
and goin on to beat Bobtail.
.You never would of thought. know,
but Il lefk-handed Dunk Watson cad