The true northerner., 1897-01-06
A WASHING DAY.

10 was a windy day. Washing days sru
generally windy unless IL happens ia
storm, which 1t is quite likely TO do.
Mrs. Tibbs lifted her hands from the
suds and felt of her crimping pins to make
sure that none of them had slipped out, for
the sewing society met that afternoon. and
she wanted To look well. and she remarked
with emphasis that "she wished TO heavens
that 1t didn't always blow like sixty on
washing days" And she added as me-
neurological fact that lit blowed last Mon
day and a week ago last Monday too 4"
Mr.. Tibbs was reading an article on the
tariff, the writer of which had proved con-
ciusively to Mr.. Tibbs' mind that IL the
present tariff continued the bottom OF all
things would fall out inside of six months.
and the paper he had read before breakfast
contained an article which had shown him
just as clearly that If the existing tariff
should be changed creation would go to
everlasting smash In the twinkling of a
cats tail.
Tibbs scratched his head and gave vent
to his perplexed state of mind by exclaim-
ing. "Waal, by jimby, don't see what a
man can dov'
I'm tell you what TO do" said Mrs.
with a will as she ground out the grist OF
Tibbs' shirts and drawers into the clothes
basket. "You go and put up that clothes
line and hang out them clothes. The wind
blows enough to take q woman right of
her feet. p"
Tibbs rose reluctantly. All men dread
the clothesline racket. IL Is trying to the
masculine nerves. Tibbs put his hand to
AZ. A.o IL Al &.~N Al.
that he guessed he was going to have an.
other spell Of lumbago into his spine.
Mrs. Tibbs was not in the slightest de-
gree interested in Mr. Tibbs' gloomy an
ticipations, but went on wrestling with
the clothes wringer and spattering the
soapsuds in every direction.
Mr.. Tibbs put on his hat, buttoned his
coat, tied his neck up In a red muffler and
shivered. Seems 10 me-" he remarked
THAT feel a touch Of that old sciatica in
my hip joint.
"Now, you put that clothesline zip
tight, said Mrs Tibbs, entirely ignoring
his observation. Last week the sheets
dragged on the ground, and had to rinse
'em over Pull it tight Mind the hooks
don't come out Of the posts. Be careful Of
it where it's tied Put up the oldest part
of the line under the pear tree for the
towels, ana don't go to hanging out them
clothes in none OF your slipshod ways,
Tibbs. Hang all the stockings feet down.
Put Annie's flannel petticoat In the sun
and hang 1t square Pull them tablecloths
out around the hems after you get 'em on to
the line Pin the colored things on with
them oldest clothespins, for they IL mildew
the white things. Hang that ragged sheet
Folks is allus staring at n clothesline. Put
that embroidered nightgown of mine next
TO the street. Mind, now, and not set the
basket SOS it'll tip over "
And in the midst of it Tibbs went out
with a bag of clothespins and the line in
one hand and the basket balanced on the
opposite hip, and the water which the
wringer had not squeezed out running
down over his leg in little rills There had
been some snow, and then, by way of va
riety there had been some rain, and then
it had frozen and the footing was exceed
ingly slippery and insecure. Tibbs soon
found that beyond doubt that passage of
Scripture which tells us that "the feet of
the wicked stand on slippery places" is
true. He had great difficulty in prevent
ing himself from going down the side hill,
where the clothes posts were located, faster
than he wanted. OF course the line was
full of kinks, which is family trait of
clotheslines, and Tibbs skinned his hands
by pulling the line through them to get
out the kinks, and when he got mad and
banged the board on which the offending
line was wound against the wood pile he
barked his knuckles and tore of one cor
ner of his thumb nail
l.
who had dropped in for morning call
were looking out of the window to see how
he was getting along, and they both laugh
ed at his mishap and said that was just
like man.
Mr.. Tibbs got desperate. He took his
pocketknife and severed the line In its
kinkiest part, and, having tied up one piece
of it, he began to hang up the clothes. He
had his mouth full of clothespins, just as
he had noticed Mrs. Tibbs always had her
mouth on such occasions, and he slapped
the clothes on to the line with will
Up flew the kitchen window and Mrs
Tibbs stuck out her head.
Turn that shirt other side up! Don't
hang them sheets by the corners Put the
towels on that old line Don't hang them
flannel drawers of Toms up by the legsl
run OuJ IldI cuBiuB ou MARY AHH shlTtl
Look out, there-you We stepped right into
the clothes basket What fools men are
I knowed you'd make "A mess of 1t! wish
I'd hung 'em up myself II l had blowed
20 Guinea In doing itl''
Tibbs discharged the clothespins and be-
gan to swear. 1t relieved his mind. He
got the other piece of line and fastened one
end of 1t to the post, then he gave good
pull on 1t to make sure it was tight and
It parted amidsbips, and the sudden let
SO upset Tihhs' equilibrium. and in spite
of himself he went rolling down the 10y
hill like an empty -four barrel
Mrs. Donovan's pet goat was enjoying a
little feast on batch of old tomato cans
and some discarded oilcloth carpets half
way down the hill, and when she saw
Tibbs coming she quit the oilcloth and
charged on him, with all her batteries
open so to speak.
1t was an exciting scene, and 1t was
made still more so by the appearance Of
Mrs DonOvap with tho mon and nopo.