The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-03-16
TEACHING TETON TO SHOOT.

am lookin fer party OF the name Of Potter
Grimm,
Bein pointed g committee to 60 questin after
him.
i, Of all the Teton school board, am now able
to appear;
I. whose dexter eye is closed an who am minus
of ear
Yet, despite my damaged features. I'm whole
lot wholer than
William Hart or Red Pete Ruble-yes or any
other man
Who set in that school board session light of
heart sound of limb.
So the task devolves on me to square the thing
with Potter Grimm.
1t some time in the springtime that he
come here with his books,
An his carpetbag an blankets, his sad, dys-
peptic looks.
But we smiled on his arrival an we welcomed
the galoot,
Fer he'd come-he said-to teach the young
i-dee-ur how to shoot.
This was what he said that evenin when the
school board went an called.
He was thin an pale weakly an was pre-
maturely bald,
But whispered to Pete Ruble that the wise
man overlooks
Much in one who teaches shootin by the use of
chalk an books.
"You." says to Red Pete RubIe in whisper.
''you an me
Had to learn our skill with firearms by plain,
crude necessity.
Ain you glad to know our children have 1t
easier, an that,
By the rules of mathymatics, will hit what
they re amin at?''
In a month the teacher sent us-to us parents
understand
Little papers writ out fer US in a graceful,
curvin hand.
"Henry's average is 90. - fsBob's photography
is low,
But I calculate he'll pick up in perhaps a
month or so.''
'What is thisf' says Hyrum Woodruff, p'intin
to 'orthography,'
whats the manner of that shootinf Kindly
demonstrate to me-
''That, says Hart, 'you ignoramus, is q tar
get. That's its name.
It's a kinder lnovin fgger at the which the
pupils aim. -
"Youre mistaken says Pete Ruble. 'sIt's a
late invented gun
Once, when down in Ogden for q week,
I carried one"
cts cattridge!' yelled Hank Fuller. ''That'
the word Orthcgraphy
Is Eyetalian fer a cartridge ies' as plain as it
can be-"
Well, we all took sides an argied, but we
couldn't seem to jibe,
An we fell in disputation wb ich hardly dare
describe.
Only this, that Red Pete Ruble broke the
nose of William Hart
An Hy Woodruff fell on Fuller an nigh busted
him apart.
Blows was struck with lavish freedom. Bull
lets flew an tipped sung,
An the spectacle presented was q lesson fe1
the young,
An when ali of US crippled an by wound:
obliged to quit,
Some one says: 1.-The teachers comm. Asl
him fer the truth of it,
So I, bein slightest damaged, called the fright
ened man to me
An explained the circu1nstan ees of that wore
''orthography-"
"If you use It in your teachul of your shootin
you say
Says 1, 'tJust explain it to rus in a quiet kins
of way
'fWhyl" cried he, "my dear, good people,
you could see that he was scared
''That's another word fer 1spellinI'" I he'll
to my eGr an stared.
Gan, - he says-oh, awful lstaten1eut-ssyou'v
nisapprehended me.
l have never fired a wes pom in my peacefu
life" says he.
Hyrun Woodruff groaned in spiris. an b
grabbed his empty gun.
| But the teacher, wildly shriekin was Q mil
off run.
| William Hart with jawbone fra ctured, muI
INJURED weakly, 1.-THE ga1ootr
An he had the gall to tell US he was teachi
'em to shooti''
I said nothin, but in silence jest registered
vow,
| Wherefore, bein most recovered, I'm about t
I'LL it now.
| Friend, be kind look tell 1ne-this her
bloodshot eye is dim
| II there's any one adjacent of the ma me of Pot
ter Grimm.
Chicago Record.