The representative. [volume] (St. Paul, Minn.) 1893-1901, 1897-09-29
OUR FORUM

wheat, corn and potatoes, and also in
tain offices in sight. The driver, who
had partaken more freely of "booze.
"taffy" or doodle" than the rest of the
gang concluded he would head off all
chances of defeat by taking a "short
cut" straight over all barriers for the
desired goal, the regular Travelled path
was too SLOW" too round about" and
the middle of the road especially
was rocky, muddy and hard to travel
An airline with new-fangled wagon
drawn by steer, a jack-ass and a sick
baby elephant was the thing.
In high spirits he started off with
rush. The sober ones Immediately
demonstrated with him, but opposition
only fastened events and made stub
born Butler more determined than ever
to carry out his wild plan.
Suddenly rising in his seat he began
lashing the frightened steeds, and away
they went towards election place.
straight as a die. For long distance
ahead nothing could be seen by the
this man and that man began to urge
the driver on in his mad race, until a
majority of the load were hurrahing
like crazy men; and completely drown
ing all words of warning from the
posted ones, that the plan must be
abandoned or all who stuck to the load
would surely be dashed to pieces on the
rocks at the bottom of the canyon which
Brother Sidney M. clapped his hands
and yelled GO it, Butler!" Brother
VIM r. pulled kink out of his long
whiskers, and yelled get there" "shut
Brother E. r. patted Butler on the back
and whispered in his ear, Easter! fast
err" Brother Major B. swelled up with
much self-laudation, shouted, Coop
Grafton is the thing, give that jackass
on the right another stab with the brad
awl, and we will win the race sure.
Brother Liar M. poked his head out
from under the coat-tails of Silver
Jones and said ''our fortunes are doub-
led in case we win, shoot dock "A,
d-m NJ
Brother Paul's black eyes snapped
with excitement and in thunder tones
he brawled, Get out, you traitors"
rats rats Brother c. reached over
the dash board, caught the wild steer
by the tail, gave it half dozen twists,
and said go on" pull even with the
mule Don't kick over the traces
Free silver, Is to 1, is our salvation"
Brother D., calm, cool and determined,
spoke up in an attempt to save the load,
but the fools spit in his face and kicked
him out, but not until he had succeeded
in setting the brakes which slackened
their speed perceptibly.
Brothers G. NJ. D. j., B. w. and X.
Immediately jumped out of the band
wagon" ran along the side, and by
thrusting sticks in the wheels, yanking
at the bits, and yelling whoa! whoa!"
did their best to head off the foolish
fellows and save if possible the valu-
able rig from going to utter destruction
But Brother Tom w. knelt in earnest
prayer at the tail end of the wagon and
protested most eloquently against the
awful sacrifice which was about to be
consummated; but all to no purpose:
for soon the campaign was reached and
down went steer, jackass and the whole
frenzied load.
Brother D. and Tom w. were badly
shaken up but fortunately not mach
injured, and as a suitable reward for
their efforts in behalf of great
principles and to partly atone for
being dragged over the precipice
against their wishes, the reins will
be placed in their hands for the future
The others are MANNED for life, and
while yet able to look around, do not
seem to have fully regained their senses,
for occasionally they yell in unison:
"Silver, 16 to t." "Hurrah for Billy b.
"Co-operation is the thing, TRAITORS.
Poor fellows, it does seem sad to hear
their rawlings, but there seems to be no
relief except a general wearing out OF
the office seeking" fever, which is ev-
identity burning fercely in their veins.
Office seems to be more to them than
principles. 1t is really pitiable to note
Major BIS pleadings for ''cc-operation'
and to witness Prof. DIS winnings for
Harmony" Liar M. is dead, peace to
his ashes. And Democratic Peoples
party" was the last audible word we
heard. Short cuts" will not go in the
future. c. b. MABEN.
The foregoing letter is somewhat out
of the line of the Representative; but
as it has excited considerable merri-
ment in this city, we have concluded,
at the request of many friends, to pub
lish it. The personal references will
not be understood by our readers gen
orally, but they will have to take it for
granted that they are amusing. The
smashup was in the local campaign Of
last fall, and some of the sufferers had
their backs broken in three places, and
would have had their brains knocked
out but for reasons which can be read
lily understOod-Ed. Rep.
Il Mt he