Blue-grass blade., 1897-10-03

do when they want you to do then
way. believe you would have USED
argument against my profanity !
you had had any.
/ do not approve of what you sale
to the men in the cars. You ough
not to damn fresh air and sunshine
You ought to have looked tina
man squarely in the eye, put YOU
hand back on your hip pocket, anC
said "Get out of here p. d. q. Of
damn you, | will shoot a holt
through you that a cat can jumI
through"
am not without high precedent
for my profanity.
When the Greek army marched
upon Troy wide Homer's HAD one
OF their most valuable Generals
Thersites, gained his great aud only
reputation by swearing, He did il
by being careful never to damn any
body, or anything that ought not tc
have been damned.
There is only one man alluded to
in the Old Testament that l would
not kick out of my house. His name
is Shimei, aud his only distinction is
that he called old David damned
old dog and threw rocks at him. z.
Samuel Is. SO.
Great umbrage was taken to the
fact that | once called Solomon "a
damned old son of bitch. And
yet damned" is simply Latin de-
rivative that means "condemned;'
"son" is the correlative of daughter,
and glitch" is the correlative of dog,
and is no more inelegant than mare,
COW, hen, and other feminine correl
atives.
Men and women are simply grown
up children, and do and say things
without reasoning. That's the rea.
son there are so many more Chris
tians than Infidels. One of these un'
reasoning females, in any canine dis
cussion. says ''dog"-ln the mascu-
line gender-and carefully refrains
from saying "bitch. But in any
bovine discussion this same woman
will say Gown the feminine
gender-and carefully refrain from
saying bull" OF course such wo'
men ought to say that in the late
Venezuelan affair "Uncle Sam COW.
dozed John Cow"
have fine red polled Holstien
bull named "Willie Breckenridge.
It's nip and tuck between the bull
and my Cousin Willie as to which
has the finer voice. The bull cannot
say "water" like Willie can, and as
that woman said she would "give 6
hundred dollars to say as Willie
does, but the bull has voice that
would make him and me fortune,
if he were trained to sing in opera,
or better, in a religious cantata,
called the "Bulls OF Basham, D." got
ten up specially for him. Every
niger on the farm calls that bull
shat animal. "
Would it be proper to speak OF
the wife of Ole Bull. the great vio-
linist, as Mrs. Ole Cow, and their
children as ''the calves" instead Of
"the kids" as is generally done;
and is the calf of man s leg a bull
calf, and the calf Of a woman's leg a
heifer calf, or COW calf, according
as the woman is maid or matron?
If it be regarded as any reflection
on Solomon's mother to call him
what l did-commonly printed IS
of a b." by these immaculate
journalists, | simply call your at
tention to the fact that Solomon
mother was Bathsheba, who took a
bath in a new wash tub, when she
knew David was looking at her
through a pine-knot hole, while
Bath, sne-ba was taking a she-bath,
and then helped old Davy kill her
husband to get TO marry Dave.
If in this matter have done
wrong / apologize to the whole ca
nine race.
Next to the opening sentence OF
"Rasselas Prince of Abysinia, "
stands famous for it's beautiful die
ton, "Tristram Shady" where
"Uncle Tooy" said of "Le Fevre, "
damn it, he shant. die" and "the
recording angel blotted out the oath
with tear.
George Washington damned
"Light horse Harry Lee"-ancestor
OF old Uncle Bob-in the midst oil
one of the most important engage
ments of the Revolution. and r. E.