Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-01-21

Of the sugar" -Cincinnati Enquirer.
The story about a pretty girl kiss
ing burglar by mistake Is all wrong
and should be suppressed. It In an
incentive to crime.-Chicago Post
Miss scraggs-Yes; once, when / was
out alone ON dark night, l saw a man,
and, oh, my goodness, how ran! And
did you catch him, Miss ScraggsT
when I get into my new house I
mean that everything shall 60 like
cloekwork." II see; the same az here
tofore; tick, ck."-Boston Transcript
Truth crushed to earth will rise again,
When comes the proper juncture,
While error. wounded, writhes In pain,
And can't repair her puncture.
indianapolis Journal.
II Eve hadn't tempted Adam with
that apple, what would the modern tai
lors milliners and dressmakers be do
ing for living now?-Somerville Jour-
nal
And what do you regard a. the
greatest triumph Of modern SURGERY
collecting the bills" promptly ~
sponded the great practiuoner.-Chi-
cago Record. @a #~@e
First Tramp-That old Teller what
wuz givin' me der lecture said he didn't
know de taste o. liquor. Second Tramp
We'll. OATS some excuse fer him talk
in de way he did.-Puck.
One Matron-Since have been mar
ried have taught my husband good
taste. Alphabetically? 1t IL a good
thing for you that you did not teach
him before You were married.
did old Grumpey make much Of .
kick when you asked him for his daugh.
teri" did he make much Of a kick3
The doctor says am threatened with
curvature Of the spine."-Detroit Free
Press.
"Harkr' cried the long haired maya
zine poet, ''how the people cheer me-
how they recognize genius" you're
mistaken" whispered his wife. ''They
think you are football player."-At-
hnta Constitution.
Father-It was strangely quiet IN the
y
ing last evening, Edith. Daughter
Yes: he's one Of the U. OF NJ. tacklers
and seems to think Of nothing else.-
Detroit Free Press.
I'm putting up a prescription for
your wife's milliner," said the drug
clerk to his employer. what shall
charge her?' "What IL the usual price
for what abe is getting?" Fifty cents"
"Charge her $2.75."-Texas Sitter.
"Mrs. Digby has husband that r.
ally thinks something Of her" "What
has he done?" "Why, instead Of bet
ting to win a hat on the election for
himself he bet new bonnet for his
wife."-Chicago Record.
IT," he shouted, impassionedly from
the rostrum, II shall begin at once In
the noble work Of crushing tyrantsr'
Then, after the storm Of applause had
ceased, he went home and tried to mash
the hired girl.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Mx. Dusenberry-It's dreadful 20 be
disappointed in love. Mr.. Dusenberry
There is something great deal worse
than that. Mn. Observation-Disclosures
for instance? Mr.. Dusenberry-To b
disappointed in marriage.-Texas Sift-
er. ~ .assft
"How do you like the new leading
lady you have, Footlites?" "She won't
do at all. She's only been married
twice, and hasn't had any diamonds
stolen for a year. She's got no ener-
~ at all."-Clncinnati Commercial
Tribune.
did you know" said the man who
was reading an article about the con-
traction of metals, ''that clock ticks
faster in winter than summer" mo,
I never noticed that about clock.
But know gas meter does. Wash
ington Star.
Husband Ito wife)-I cannot conceive
what is the matter with my watch;
think it must want cleaning. Spoiled
Child (breqking in)-Oh, father, I don't
think 1t needs cleaning. Baby and
had it washing in the basin for ever
so long this morning.
Or. Spriggins lgentlyl-My dear, 4
Boston man was shot at by burglar,
and his life was saved by button
which the bullet struck. Mrs. Sprig-
gins-Well, what Of It? Mr.. Spriggins
Nothing, only the buttons must have
been on-Boston Traveller.
II don't think that Benner ID 4 sin
cere writer" remarked one young man.
"You think he doesn't mean what he
says?'' Yes" "Well, know better
than that. saw something that no
wrote the other day, and I'm sure no
meant every word Of It. It was . 70
quest for loan Of $5."-Washinsto1
Star.