Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28
Bulls Not All Irish.

Here is an English BULL" said
Uncle Dave.
PPM afraid you'll he late at the
party, SAID an old lady to her sty-
lish granddaughter, who replied:
'Oh, no, dear grandma don't
you know that i'm our fashionable SET
nonody ever goes to party till
everybody is there?'
The Scotch produce some very
good bulls, also. Here are some!
A minister in Arran is said to have
made the following announcement
from his pulpit:
MY friends, there will be no
Lords day here next Sabbath; it's
the sacrament Owre at Kilmory, and
I'll be there.
A Paisley gentleman, in discussing
the right of women to practice medi-
cine, in letter to newspaper of his
place asked this pointed question:
why should not women be freely
allowed to become medical men?'
a Scotch lady was speaking
strongly to a gentleman against
smoking, which, she said, must be
very bad for the health.
Il don't KNOW said her friend.
There is my father, who sn'okes
every day, and he is now seventy
years old.
We'll, she said, if he had never
smoked, he might have been eighty
AT benefit in Edinburgh many
years ago, the playbill stated that
the evenings entertainment would
finish with an interlude! A Presby-
terian minister, performing public
worship in the Iron Church at Edin-
burgh once used the expression in
his prayer:
Lord have mercy upon all fools
and idiots, and particularly upon the
Town Council of Edinburgh.
TRIALS OF A COUNTRY EDIToR.-
Whatever may be the truth of the
falsity of the stories that are told Of
the scarcity of funds in a country
EDITORS pocket or the scarcity of food
in his stomach, the stories are al
ways told, and neither the progress
of education nor the growth and de-
velOpmeDt of the press seems to
have any effect upon the crop. One
Of the latest comes from Kentucky,
where the mountain editor, at least,
rarely develops into Cr9sus or an
Apicius, and this one is concerning
a mountain editor. A subscriber
had remembered him very kindly,
and day or two later a visitor
called at his Office.
"Can / see the editor ?" he in
quired of the grimy little "devil "
roosting on high stool.
"No, sir" replied the youth on
the tool. "He's sick.
/" WHAT'S the matter with him p
Dunno said the boy. Zone
of our subscribers give him a bag OF
flour and bushel of pertaters t'othel
day, and | reckon he's foundered. ,
a PAINFUL NECESSITY Bridget
O'Hoolihan, an elderly Irish cook
had been induced to go TO a quiet lit
tie suburban town to live in {
wealthy gentleman's family. Two
weeks after her arrival she declared
her intention of returning to tn,
city.
Why do you leave us, Bridget p
asked her mistress, in grieved tone
"We pay you the very highes
wages. "
eye do, ma'am, an yer perfec
Teddy. Opm not LAWN troo amy
fault av de family, but this place il
such dead old place, wild no chance
to do anything LOVELY in it, that
begorry, oi have to mex up pacl
o. lies iv'ry tonne oi go to confes
sion, or oi'd have nothing to con
flesh !"
PENELOPE-So your ladies' whis
club has diSbanded?
Etbel--Yes. You see, after tn,
third or fourth trick we couldn't re
member what were trumps.
Penelope-Why didn't you leav,
the trump card on the table then?
Ethel-We tried that, but afte
the third or fourth trick we couldn'
remember whom it belonged TO.
IN the hand Of French duellis
, | tho HaoAIx, xroo NON loSoo tie ;Aanktf a