Evening journal., 1897-01-01
REVOLUTION IN KENT.
The Ensanguined Situation
Fully Discussed.
NO QUARTER AsKBDi NONE GIVEN


ADDICKS FEELS A LITTLE BAD
ABOUT SHEDDING BLOOD, BUT
THERE IS NO ALTERNATIVE.
Scene-Hotel Richardson. Dover. Time
Thursday night. Occasion-Con-
ference of Addicks leaders of the
State of Delaware. Dramatis Per-
sonae-J. Edward Addicks and
His Ministering Angels.
Addicks-Gentlemen we are met fer
the purpose of inaugurating a revolu-
tion in the State of Delaware.
Giles-Bully for you. Let's have a
scrap.
Addicks-My youthful friend. you
had better subside, for you are a pri-
vate in the ranks of this great move
ment Yes, gentlemen, if you will per-
NIT me to call you such. we are going
to have a revolution We have tried
argument; We have tried intimidation:
we have tried bribery; we have soft
soaped a set of judges whom we hate
like Satan, but all to no avail. We
must now resort to an appeal to arms
and to the god of hosts. There is no
alternative. People who won't listen
to reason; who are deaf to the cries OF
the avenging spirit; who can't be
frightened and who won't stay bought.
have got to be shot. That is all there
is about it,
Willis-Amen, and peace be to their
ashes.
Addicks-t is against my better ma
ture to be floated into the chair va
Gated by Higgins on the crest OF a
wave of Democratic and regular Re
publican blood, but the issue has been
forced upon me and l have accepted il.
It's little hard on the other fellows
to have their red and white blood cor
puscles utilized in a rapid transit
scheme between here and Washington.
but it is due TO their reckless disregard
OF my peculiar fitness for the United
States Senate. Gentlemen. in a few
days the streams of Delaware will be
crimsoned with the life blood of an
ungrateful people.
Robinson-Bully boy. / shouldered
a musket once, and 1 can do it again if
my stomach will permit.
Barnard-We must substitute bullets
for ballots. That is our only hone of
salvation. We cannot permit our lib
critics to be trampled underfoot after
we have paid so much for them.
Addicks-Colonei, / like the manner
IN which YOU use the plural pronoun.
Ii strikes me that the first person. sing
ular number. would De more in keen
ing with the rules of our political
grammar. But we are wandering from
tne subject. Gentlemen, Armenia and
Cuba Will not be in it. l will show
the sultan a thing or two and make
Weyler think himself a humane man.
started. ] hate to make a shambles ONT
OF the little Diamond State. but il is
useless TO tempOrize farther | have
been reviled and cheated by the Demo
Gratis and vilified and BETRAYED bv the
regular Republicans. Gentlemen NAV
cry Peace! Peacei" but If ]. Edward
knows his business there hain't no
peace. The die has been cast and we
must declare war. We no longer have
Republican form of government Tom
Reed Fs my authority for that. and he
watches the election returns rather
closely. He has noticed that we have
had a Democratic form of government
Tor the past thirty years. It's contrary
TO the United States Constitution. which
guarantees to every state a Republican
Iorm OF government. We haven't had a
constitutional form of government
since the war. II is plain and unadul-
terated Democratic anarchy. and the
sooner we assert ourselves and stamp
II out the better it Will be for us. We
have declared war, and it is now merely
matter of getting troops. armed and
in the field.
Willey-When was war declared?
Addlcks-I have just sent Colonel
George w. Marshall around to tell
General r. Il. Kenney and Judge Advo-
cate-General Ezekiel T. Cooper that we
are going to begin the fight Just as
soon as we can get our fighting
clothes on.
Wilson-There is one thing don't
like about General Kenney's methods
of warfare.
Addicks-What IS that2
WilS0n-Ile uses one Of these semi
conical-shaped projectiles commonlv
calledia spittOOn. / don't mind facing
bullets and grape and canister. butTll
be I'D if ! want to stand ND and take
a volley of cuspidors from the business
end OF the Cooper and Kenney guards.
Thinhof the ignominyo of falling in the
front ranks and being buried with milf
tary honors and then having engraved
on the monument reared over nae:
Here lies Milf Wilson, from misery
fieed.
He fought ana. he fit like loon.
For } Edward Addicks he bled out his
bleed.
Through hole made by Kenney's spit
toon.
If this is going to be a spittOon revo-
luton / don't chew That's all there is
about it. l am willing to die in de-
fence of my rights, but I belong to a
respectable family. and | don't want TO
walklin on my departed ancestors with
nothing but cuspidor credentials. It's
against human nature to ask man 20
go into a revolution unless It is TO be
conducted along the well-e5.ablished
rules OF modern warfare.
Adlicks- From what know Of
General Kenney and Judge Advocate
General Cooper they will observe those
rules. II they won't agree 10 abandon
the duspidor as a weapon of warfare.
them we must give up the idea
of revolution. But they will do H..
gentlemen. / am determined that they
must To make assurance doubly sure
have bought mp all the spittoons on
the market and taken Il tcontrollinq in