New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-12-26
THE TALK or TIE DAT.

| The thirteenth annual conference OF the Asso-
| ciated Academic Prn ,ipas of the State OF New
| York will he held in Syracuse tomorrow. The
| officers OF the organization Oscar D. Robinson.
| Of Albany. president; b. G. Clapp. OF Fulton. vice
president and s. Dwight Arius OF Palmyra secre-
| tary.
death?
Bronco Pete-Heart disease
| CoronerIAre you SURF OF that
Bronco Pete-sartr; The heart was
and he had It up his sleeve.-(Chcago News
A recently taken OF the domestic servants
OF the principal cities OF Germany dIscloses that
| Frankfort has more than any other town In pro-
portion to It's sizeseventy three TO every thousand
| inhabitants Berlin has only thirty seven domes-
ties to each thousand OF is population.
| For Liying-They shuddcred
And you have stolen for a living" faltered
| they.
Il used to steal. but now I murder" replied the
man who had been condemned to be hanged four
teen several times. only to he saved In each in
When they had gone he laughed quietly.
"tIn. h1" he laughed 70 be perfectly explicit
In house I'm Warrenton. Va, Is hung the large
mirror before which George Washington made his
daily toilet II bought at the sale OF the per-
sonal effects Of Laurence Washington = great
nephew OF the first President. and has hung In
Its present place for thrty-hve years.
fIattc-What humbugs men. are. Harry tolls me
sometimes that he is suffering for a kiss The
r!e-Oh. but suffer for kiss. have
carrie Mother saw me kiss Jack Mllings and
she wouldn't let me see him again for ever so long.
boston Transcript
\ Quebec shoedealcr has thought up a clever adj
vertlsllg idea. with every pair OF shoes sold he
gives pals OF oyershocs. on each sole OF which
Is stamp OF hts business. with the letters re-
vcrsed as In typ. At each step the wearer takes
In the snow the shoedeaer's advertisement; is
visible. 1t is. therefore visible all over town.
HIS WATERLOO
IL bad worn colored blazer on the Ne
With necktie quite too utter
In the streets Of old Calcutta
He had stirred up quite n fut;er for while.
The maids OF Jsvc hronged before his door.
And his yest-a bosom venter-
Shook Formosa TO it's centre.
And they hailed him as mentor by the score.
On his own ground as n "mashcr" on the street.
lie outdld a Turkish pacha: who stood treat;
II" gave Shanghai the Jumps
And their checks stuck out like humps
At the patent-eather pumps upon his feet.
r., he called upon PGka girl one night,
And she booked At him. This maid did.
And he faded and he faded out Of sight
kansas city Journal !
Professor Hanson an agent OF the Agricultural |
Department. travelling In Turkestan. has discov-
cred species OF muskmelon which sometimes
weighs as much as thirty pounds.
\ sign on an once building i. ,-orEia county |
reads: Couples married on short notice. Come |
one-come all" And next door there is another
sign. follows Couples divorced on easy terms.
without glttin' In the newspapers" a citizen ex-
planned the two signs by SAYING; Them teners
They plays into e0ch others hands an divide
ohts."-Atlanta Constitution.
Beverly C. Bass n man OF standing and educa-
ton I'm CHATTANOOGA Tenn has made the follow
Ing pitlful announcement In n Chattanooga paper:
II hereby acknowledge myself an habltual drunk
ard and warn every man connected with the liquor
trade that he violates his oath by selling. giving
or allowing me drink God knows want to quit
but | can't long as | can get liquor. take !
this method Of cutting OF the possibility OF do
Ing so"
Barber-How would you like your hair cut, sir
with the scissors or clippers"
Customer-Both Use the scissors my hair
and the clippers on your conNersation-tChicaso
Record.
Governor Plngree of Michigan says that the
newspapers have doubled the price of the Venezuela
asphalt mine which he has been trying TO buy
"You see" ne explains. those fellows over there
have learned that Governor Pingree OF Michigan
Ia trying to secure a big Venezuelan asphalt mine
for only $50 Oo and very naturally they've doub-
led the price on US. Why can't the newspapers
mind their own business?" But the Governor
should remember that In case he does buy the
mine. the newspapers may write It up so atrac-
lively that he will be able to sell 1t at a hand
some profit.
Grsndpa-Don't get scared. Willie, the tiger
Ia about 10 be fed that's what makes him jump
up and roar SO 49,, -,
Willie (earnestly)-Oh. I Amt afraid OF him,
grandpa papas the same way when his meals
aren't ready-CTit-Bits
The Rev william Dermody. pastor Of the Holy
Family Church, OF Natchez city. Miss. has writ
ten a curious letter to the Editor OF The
Midland Tribune" Of Birr. Ireland Thou
IN nds Of Industrious farmers In this country
he SAYS ARE reduced to starvation. and are
objects Of public charity. First the drouth.
and then the OVERLOOKING Of the Mississippi.
which drains half OF the United States.
and which threa tens to end In making the whole
OF the great region known as the Valley OF the
Father OF Waters an inland sea- caused incalcula-
bSe injury to life and property. Then came yellow
fever In one place alone. the city Of Memphis.
tho plague reduced the population within the
month OF September from 5000 to 1900! The vic
tins Included twenty-five priests Many populous
places have ceased to exist, and are turned into
huge grnveyards Several thousand died In New
Orleans" II this letter Is genuine, Father Der
mody must be the victim OF some practical joker
who has stuffed" him.
Incompatible uailinger. what has become Of
your carriage and span of bays?'
Had to sell them, Flckinger. I'm keeping |
ha hv rria nd a W &c