Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-01-24
SUGGESTIONS TO THE LEGISLATURE.
By il Graphic Reporter R an Open
 Sunday Letter.

aware that you represent the great est State in the Union, and if our presumption is correct we are confi- dent that most of you wish to main- tain the dignity of .the Common wealth you have the honor to serve. To this end We beseech you not to overlook small things in this day of large affairs. Know you that
 1t is the little rift within the lute
 That bye and bye will make the music mute And ever widening slowly silence an."i
 Now among the numberless little things to which we would have you give heed, our lack of space forbids us to mention but few. First, WE warn you under no circumstances ta pare your corns on the capital steps; it might excite unfavorable comment among strangers; besides being yio- lative of the law concerning nuis- ances. Nor ought you to soil your maculate shirt fronts with the dark golden amber of the beloved weed Be clean in person as in poli- ties, so that by each condition the other quality Inay be indicated. l respectfully suggest to members that 1t is little out of form to sit on your spines with your legs eIossed on top of your desks. This ugly fashion, brought into the State many years ago by the Yankee schoolmas- ters, was formerly allowable, in that 1t was regarded as a badge of high breeding to keep the floor or carpet as far as possible unsoilediby the feet. Moreover. the day of red-top boots passed away with the paper collar, and the opportunity to display fiashy colored footwear ceased to exist as in the good old days of boots and spurs.
 When we were i'll Little Rock we happened to notice frequently that many of you gentlemen had q way i of conveying food to your mouths with the knife, and also knack of openly using your doylies for all the purposes of a handkerchief Such habits are positively dangerous and I should be abandoned. You are lia- ble to cut your mouth by eating { with 3 knife, and thus run the risk of diminishing your ability to talk; and that loud and continual blowing ! of the nose at the table, using the dolly as a handkerchief, is likely to produce nervous diseases among the ladies of the dining room and other 1 guests not used to the time-honored 1 custom.
 Another thing, gentlemen, deserv- ing your attention, is your boot heels. We Lave observed that many l of the country members still persist in polishing their shoes only in front, leaving the modest heel often encased in the glorious soil of Arkansas, gathered in Areadian dells of the Ozarks, or by the fertile tracts of the winding White, or where the pellucid Ouachita wanders beneath the forest shade. Though such dirt may in- spire us to poetry, it does not sup press cur dislike to shoes shined i'll spots. Z Having seen much of legislatures in our time, we have been forced to the conclusion that members with long, populistic boards, wild, tangled and matted, should wear collars and cravats as well as the less favored that the absence of neck usually suggests that long beard is a mere economical measure, and it is unde- niable that the average farmer, or Workingman, dislikes to see man practice economy who makes six dollars for a half days work, has Q page-boy free to fetch his drinking water, and sharpen both his pencils and his wit. free postage and sta- sstlonery, twen .y-five free newspapers, and free drinks and cigars day and night.
 Since ladies have become your ser wants in the clerical portion of your work, and are daily present at your deliberations. you should make it point to doyour hardest drinking at Mght. The greatest objection to the Md way Of sleeping off a drunk in the chamber was that ladies who often sat in the galleries would be apt to ip. ulticise severely the boozy lsolon, and in fact grow to believe that members were not such great men alter all. You must keep tho women Under the old delusiop that you are great or they will not only demand