The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-08-20
SANCTUM TROUBLE.

- Mr. Jaqgcrs,' he said to the foreman,
"Mr. Hummer wants Go sec you right
nwny--quick."
Mr.. Japgcrs dropped his pencil as he
arose and pushed bnck his chair.
b 81 wonder what In merry shcol is wrong
now !" he muttcrud.
A moment or two later he stood before
the managing editor of the great daily.
"Sit down, Jaggcrs," said the editor
without looking up from his work. "I'n
sec you in moment
Mr.. Jaggers sat down and softly sighed
He knew the symptoms. He was in for
bad quarter of an hour.
"Wcll, .IHgpers," said the great man
presently, GIVE called you in to tell you
that things are Gu wrong in your depart
ment, and, by lingo, they've got to be
Strengthened out!"
"To what DO you refer, STRIP inquired
Mr.. Jaegers.
what--Go-I-rofery" echoed the
editor in u tone of excessive sarcasm
"That good. Look here, Jaggers. Day
before yesterday you ran cut in the pa
per which should have appeared on tn,
womun's page. 1t was officially describCO
as Pattern of shirt waist for girl of L.
And what did you doy You ran il in the
paper upside down and called it Turkish
plan of operations on the Macedonian
plain?'
"Th-that's what it looked like upside
down, sir, " mImbled the unhappy Jag
gers
Here wait "a minute said the editor.
He turned to speaking tube and whis-
tied shrilly.
SIS that you, George? Say, George, how
much did the sale fall off on the 22dP
What's that? Sold 1000 extra? Ehl Three
hundred and eight new subscribers?
What's that? Everybody wants the war
mapP That's all, George"
The editor dropped the tube and turned
to Mr.. Jaggers.
"You soe," he cried, you're simply
making the paper ridiculous. And now,
just look at this!'
Ho opened another copy of the paper and
pointed to ascertain column.
'How in the name of the prophets he
harshly cried, Ibid those headlines get SO
confoundedly mixed What sort of a title
do you call that for n column account of u
Prohibition gatherings"
| Mr.. .Iaggers looked, and this is the glar-
ing line that confronted him:
wet Grounds. "
That" said tho editor, "evidently be-
longs on the baseball page. And now just
see what you We got there.
/ Again he handed the paper to Mr.. Jag
gers, and that nervous employee read this:
/ Drink Did It.
! The editor crumpled the paper in his
hand as he took it back.
/ CHATS fine slur on our struggling
ball club, isn't it? Every man jack who
reads that headline will take it for grant
ed that the club was drunk and couldn't
play. What do you suppose the effect of
such idiotic headlines is on an intelligent
publicY Listen to this
Again the editor seized the speaking
tube and whistled.
! "Say, George" he called, "haye you
heard any comments On the headlines we
had in the paper yesterday? Eth, whats
that-73 letters? All praising the clever
work of the new headline man? Get out
is that sol"
! Again the tube dropped. The great
editor was evidently taken little aback.
Then he rallied once more and again
pounced OH Mr.. Jaggers.
"There," he said, "begin on that col
umn and read down. Then tell me what
Read it aloud"
This is what Mr.. .Jaggers read:
Tho silent man at the head of the bril-
liant cavalcade rode speedily forward. Be-
fore him rose the pine clad hills of the
Hutchucoochie and far below flashed the
crystal waters of the laughing Ockmulgee.
Suddenly he stopped and shading his eyes
with his hands looked steadily across the
valley.
d" Bring me my glass; he said.
1.-THE orderly quickly obeycd.
Raising the foaming beaker to her lips,
the fair young girl cried:
" For God and Francep
'Then with q movement full of limo
cent grace she half turned in her saddle
and cast the cup far over the cliff.
80 No other lips shall rrofane that
toast she murmured. With lighter all
she gently added:
"And now, messieurs, let us advance.
we halt here, cried the silent man
and he tossed his cigar on the ground.
1.-The staff quietly dismounted and stood
back in respectful silence. With knitted
brow the general swept the horizon. Once
he gestured and twice his lips moved
Then no nodded to himself. The plan o.
battle was complete.
Nay quoth the maid, we will no
fight except it be Gods will. l like no
these scenes Of blood. AS for the plan O
battle, of that have no conception. WheI
God directs me, will fight, and he viii
chow me the way
"The little bodyguard gazed with rap
eyes upon the maiden whore she stood IL
the transfguring sunset light.
"Even as they gazed there came rud,
interruption.
Give me fresh cigar, cried the gen
eral.
"And he lighted it from slow burning
match with aScoolness which belied tn
fact that the fate of the nation was hang
ing on his next move"
: Mr.. Jaggers paused.
"This is awful" he said.
awful Is no name for 1t" cried tn
editor. "You see what you have doneY"
Eyes" groaned Mr.. Jaggers, II hav
mixed up On the Skirmish Line Wit
/ Grant with the Annals of Joan of Arc.