Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-08-15

Green. "but what of it? We ar all
] liars here, and you amt no better nor
! wus than the rest of us. Jest draw a
/ long breath and tell us whopper."
But joe Bradshaw wouldn't do it. He
| seemed to be hurt in his feelin'S and
refused 20 say a word. We thought it
was mighty queer in him, and next day
when / met him alone l says:
Joe, if you'll tell me about that lob
ster I won't say nuthin' to the rest OF
the crowd Well swap lies on the
quiet. You tell me bout your lobster
and I'll tell you bout my shark"
But I'm no liar" says Joe. 81
never told lie in my life, and
w wmab Bat tell qnen fuE to tell re You 5boR
/ this lobster you've got to believe it.
I promised would, though l didn I
intend to. and he told me that he saw
a lobster as big as cidar bar Ia
rpg'Iar old seeker who must hev pin
crswlin' around when the battle OF
/ Bunker Hill was fit. l tried to get MIN
10 take of some and say the lobster
wasnO bigger'n q beer keg, but ne
stuck right TO the size and wOuldn
abate a lot. You never saw man
more airnest and l almost believed ne
was tellin' the truth. You never saw
q man more airnest and l almost bellev-
/ ed he was tellin' the truth. Wheh
told the gang about the big LOBSTER
/ they was nightly pleased.
That's the biggest kind Of a lie,
saws Plato White, but it's a new one
and we orter rejoice. Well encourage
/ him TO keep on"
That's what we did Every time he
/ went out to his pots we anXiously IN
ouired after that lobster and appeared
/ TO be powerfully interested. We MADE
! il I'D to run across the varmint our
selves. and to be amazed at its size,
and Bradshaw didn't exactly know
\ how to take us. Now and then ne q
come in to say he'd seen the lobster
agin. and we'd wink at each other ana
/ Danl Webster Brown would say;
Yes. 1 seen him myself yesterday
afternoon. and Of all the sOckin' ole
Holsters in this Atlantic Ocean he
, takes the cake. Why, boys, the claws
ON that critter ar longer'n my arm,
and lest about as big around, and his
ewes stand out like peeled onions. AS
to how old ne is the Lord only knows,
but if he haint seen 200 vars hope to
never bring up another oyster.
Then we'd wink all around agin' and
Noah wilkins would heave a sigh and
add;
And when I was down to the bell-buoy
last Chewsday I must a seen that same
lobster. but ne was so powerful big that !
took him for TWO dead porpoises dashed TO-
gether. / started to git a cluser look at
him. but he thraShed around till he
s5eert me or. I never was a-feared OF
nuthin' than walked or swum, but
wouldn't hev that old lobster sit holt OF
me fur robody's $4,000
The story of the lobster got around til
Preacher Thomas felt It his dooty TO say
sunthin'. Joe Bradshaw was member
Of the church. and allus ruug the bel
for Thursday evenin' prayer meetin's
one evenin' the preacher called on Jo'
and said
Brother Bradshaw. how big do yot
say that lobster is?"
As big as a cider barb says Joe.
you don't mean a nail-keg?'
mo. sir. I've seen him five or six times
and as he's as big as a cider bari. whil
I reckon his claws at four feet long
.'You won't abate any from that?'
"Not an inch. sir. I'm tellin' the sol
emn truth and the Lord knows 1 am
and if 1 abated Ia be a liar
"The preacher fused around fu
awhile. not benevin' the story, and We
not wantin to call Joe u liar, and FINAL,
he said:
Brother Bradshaw. perhaps yo'
hadn't better ring the prayer meetin' bel
no more tin that big lobster has bee
cotched.. The sarvice OF the Lord and tn
sarvice Of satan ar fur. fur apart
That must a hurt Joe's feelin's fur W
saw change in him. and arter that h
had no more 10 say about the lobster
We tried to joke with him. but he wa
sorter sad and humble and wouldn
minds us. Things went along fur abou
a mouth. and one day when he went on
to his pots his boat was found. driftiI
about and him missin'. We turned on
to search. and We finally found the bod
in the grass on the edge OF Cat IslanC
Thar was suthin' tangled with i
! and that was the big lobst9k Yes, sil