The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-07-24
JOSHED ALL NATIONS.
THE Ex-KlNG OF THE FAkiRs TELLS
HOW TO MAKE A LIVING.

Work In Thirty Years-How He Got His
Nickname-Corn Salvc For Russians and
Perfumed Beans For Frenchmen.
Tick Lowndes, the ex- king of tho
iakirs, having become rich, left off tray
cling OH his fiftieth birthday, married n
young wife and settled down in PhiIa-
delphia, because I was born there, -
mo says in explanation of this strange
thing, land believe a man ought to
give the town he was born in show
For nearly 80 years Lowndes circum-
navigating the globe IL times, beamed
upon tho worlds population through
his Moses P. Handy whiskers, and, in
his own words, "joshed 'em all, white,
black, red, brown and yellow" into
providing for his. luxurious existence
and for his eventual wealth. He got his
nickname of Tick from the solid gold
watches he used to sell to countrymen
for the nominal sum of two bits.
Maybe you think they won't 60"
he would bawl, holding up one of his
watches when purchasers We're back
ward. 'That's where you re way off.
Listen to this one tick And he would
initiate the ticking of watch with his
mouth so that the sound could be easily
heard by those on the outer limits of
the crowd around his torch illuminated
carriage. Success and seniority gave
him the title king of the fakirs, by
which he was known until his retire
ment.
Il often hear no account chaps talk
ing about how hard it is to get along in
this world" said Lowndes when he
was here. "They make mo weary. The
world is easy-easy "-snapping his
fingers as if the subject was too silly to
talk about. 'When was small boy,
playing marbles and shiny and peg
top, looked about me and saw all
hands breaking their necks trying TO
earn living-struggling, sweating,
worrying, working like the devil, every
one of 'em.
ut was positively painful for me to
watch 'em, although was only in knee
breeches. I made up my mind right
then that I had heap too big oapaci-
ty for fun to wear myself out working,
and determined to make the world nv
oyster. Well, I've been nibbling OH the
oyster ever since, and the only work
you could call work that 1 ever did was
four days of coal hcaving down in the
stokehole of japanese steamer on
which I was q stowaway. How's that
for record-only four days work in
80 years! DOM look it?'
Tick did look it. He was perambu-
lating jewelers. shop. Diamonds gilt
tered all over him-not the sort of dia-
monds he used to put into his Pandora
envelopes TWAS acknowledged that he
looked prosperous all right.
Nov you'll bo astonished, but the
worst jays ever struck anywhere III
the world are tho Russians I think I
sold about five tons of axle grease corn
salve for ruble an ounce box on one
trip through southern Russia. All the
men in Russia have corns. They all wear
heavy cowhide boots - the ordinary
folks, mean-which suppose accounts
for it. l felt almost ashamed the way
those Russian folks fell over each other
to buy my ordinary axle grease of COM
MERGE for their corns, and the worst of
1t was that i'll the larger towns, where
L staid for three or four days, the yaps
that had bought the stuff on the first
day of my arrival came to me before 1
left and told mo gratefully that the
grease had entirely cured their corns.
Why, was regarded as public bene-
factor throughout the whole Russian
empire.
II found the French pretty easy ones,
too especially in tho smaller towns.
The first time hit Franco 1 was sell
ing West Indian perfumed beans. They
were the ordinary American beans that
they don't know how to cook in Bos-
ton, despite all this talk of Boston as
the town of beans. I dyed the beans
blue and soaked 'em over night in CO.
logne. used a Mexican vaqueros make
up on this trip and sold the beans
dozen for franc, with long spell
bind about the perfume lasting for 900
years, and so on. 1t was like finding
money, this bean fake i'll France.
''All of the South Americans, from
Panama to Patagonia, are pretty easy to
gold brick. All over South America 1
sold thousands of gallons.of whitening
tonic to make the half breeds white I
made it of nights as went along out of
any old thing that wasn't halmful-
dandelion roots, wild cherry bank and
such stuff. The governments got after
me finally for it, though and that's
the reason tho half breeds of South
America are still reddish i'll color.
Their governments wouldn't let 'em buy
enough of my whitening stuff. You see
1.-The Mexicans'll buy anything.
You may not believe it, but sold thou
sands of dollars worth of common bar
soap for removing grease spots OH one
trip down there, notwithstanding the
fact that the buds worn by tho people