davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

To the making of words there is no
end. Hartford Courant wants the
word "fathead' coined to designate a
pompous fellow and ''it' used to desig-
nate an intellectual weakling. To call
a man or a woman an 1t is the lowest
of all possible terms. Hartford is
looking out for trouble.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

How to arrange for the orders to the
proposed infantry post at Circle City,
Alaska, in case of trouble, is what
beats the United States authorities to
discover. The legitimate head from
which such orders should issue is thou
sands of miles away.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The Dingley bill is law. 1t is not
worth while to fool away time in spec
ulation over what it is or is not going
to accomplish. A little patience and
a few months time will answer the
question to the satisfaction Of every
one but the man who thrives on CAL
amity and whose largest stock in trade
Is the general dissatisfaction Of the
people.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Reports from the insurgent COM
manders in Cuba to their head show
that the insurgents are now stronger
than at any time since the rebellion
against Spanish misrule broke out.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Those who were UP and had on their
eclipse clothing at an early hour this
morning had chance to see the moon
lay it over old Sol. Some people took
smoked glass for breakfast.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Secretary of the Treasury, Gage,
tells Boston that the financial condi-
ton Of the country is splendid and that
the monetary question will come out
all right ne4it Congress.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Grover Cleveland is mentioned as a
prospective president of the University
of Virginia. Shades of the immortal!
to what unexpected heights do We
climb by our fairness.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Some of those closing hours in the
United States Senate told powerfully
against the senator from Nebraska.
He found more than his match in For
aker of Ohio.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

San Antonio is not as hot as some
other sections of Texas, but there is
no need Of showing the mercury any
higher. The town is modest and is
willing to come in lower down.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The rain distributor seems to think
that as this is not a dry" town, rain
during the heated term is not so nee
essary as elsewhere and saws us of
with short allowance.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The protective tariff Of this country
has directly built up all our steel rail
mills all of our silk factories, all of
our tinplate mills and will create our
sugar production in time. These are
only the beginning of sorrows to the
free trade fellows.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

to breakfast and the man who wears
a plug hat with his negligee shirt and
crash suit should sit down on the same
bench and sympathise.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29
BUCKLENs ARNIcA sA5vp

The best salve In the world for Cuts.
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rh.uu,
Fever Sores. letter, Chapel Hands.
Chilblains. Sorns. and all skin erup-
tons, and positively cures piles. or
no pay required. 1t is guaranteed to
to give perfect satisfaction or money
retYnde 4. Price rs cents per box. For.
sale by F. Kaltey.r & Son.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Mexico is finding the balance of ex-
change against her very heavily of
late. 1t will be interesting to note
the effect upon her monetary system.
She is losing ground now.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Canadians are talking Of a new route
to the Klondike over and through their
own land and water routes. These lat
ter would be frozen up nine months Of
the year. John talks.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

John Mclean will be senator from
Ohio If the Democrats control the next
Legislature. He is more unpopular in
his party than Lucifer, but he has the
situation we'll grabbed.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Bryan has not as yet advanced any
opinion as to the reasons of the divorce
recently accomplished between the
price of wheat and that of silver. Will
he tell us in the fall.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Judge Noonan is heard from only oc-
casionally, but he gets in his work all
the same. The old judge is quiet. but
enectiVe wherever he trusts himself
and not his unwise friends.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The treasury officials say that there
is little or nothing that is uncertain in
the new tariff schedules. Any ordin-
airy intelligence can interpret its pro-
visions.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The Congressional library is being
moved during the congressional recess
into the finest library building in the
world. 1t is the most attractive struc-
ture in Washington.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Kansas acknowledges the prosperi-
ty, but says that 1t is in spite of the
gold standard. Why not let the pros
perity go right along and let the stan
dard take care of itself.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Bernhard was nightly stuck on the
big Jubilee procession in London. She
has long been a great admirer of the
queen.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The Turkish commissioner has reach
ed Crete, but Crete has reached no un-
derstanding with Turkey, nor will she
until the Turkish soldiers retire.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

There is nothing encouraging in the
strike situation. The miners are try
ing to induce a general suspension
and the operators refuse to consider
any question of settlement.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Texas has caught the tail end Of that
hot wave that has toasted the north
to a berry on more than one occasion,
but which hitherto has not flung it's
narrative so far south.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Cotton experts are figuring on a
short supply when the season opens
on September LIST. The shortage is put
at 100000 bales less than were on hand
last September.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

London is mad because her iron mas
tiers cannot compete with the Unit
ed States in selling steel rails. Before
the Mckinley tariff on rails we had to
buy everything abroad.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The report of the bicycle secretaries
on the conditions Of the roads in the
eastern states are accepted as official
and it is aiding the good roads move
ment no little.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The weather clerk is not first class
mixologist. His ingredients are not
well blended.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

That water freight rate to Galveston
has demoralized Southwestern rates
and the railways are trying to meet
the situation so as to equalize matters
as much as possible.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Terrell has bequeathed his mule as a
legacy to the sultan. Two of a kind
for a fact.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Deer are so plentiful down on Tur-
key creek in Kerr county that they
raid the melon patches with the same
wantonness that squad of dark boys
in the dark of the moon would.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

London is using the city's refuse to
produce electricity. If that plan was
utilized in this city there should be a
dop n figures for electric service.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The carrying trade of this country in
the matter of crops will be larger this
fall than ever before known. And the
calamity bowling papers are noting
this fact while they howl.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The long run for the engines on the
hot route lines is pronounced a sue
cess and no trouble with hot boxes.
This is the beginning of longer runs
for engines on all roads.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Yoakum was ten years old yesterday
and the little city at the forks OF the
sap is putting on style and population
with the best Of them. She grows like
cloud in the sky.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

Bryan should take tour through
Mexico now. He would find food for
reflection and the argument incontro-
vertible for a revision Of his speeches
of a year ago.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The thermometer is in the shade this
weather, but it does not keep shady
by any means.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

President Mckinley closes the gates
to the office seekers and goes to Lake
Champlain for needed rest. Ice water
must take the place of pie for some
weeks to come.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The democratic party is going to
follow the course of the sun this fall
and be the subject of an eclipse. There
is nothing under the sun can save 1t.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The telephone line to the gold fields
will in all probability be built before
any railway will get its cars running
from the head Of the Yukon to the
diggings.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

FINEST OLD WHISTLES AND
WINES AND CIGARS AT BULL
BROS. 11-a7-tf.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

The silver paper OF Minneapolis has
turned up its toes to the sun, wilted
and withdrawn.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29
AUTHORIZED COLLECTORS

AUTHORIZED COLLECTORS
The following named are authorised
collectors of the Light:
n. c. SCHUMACHER, Advertising.
w. T. SCHUMACHER.
DAN c. BITTER, Subscription.
HARVEY L. STEELE
Subscribers are requested not to pay
their subscription without taking re-
seipt.
T. B. JOHNSON, Manager.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29
CITY CIRCULATION NOTICE.

CITY CIRCULATION NOTICE.
Mr.. Dan. c. Bitter, from date, has
been gtvsp entire charge OF the CITY
circulation Of the Daily and Sunday
Light, and will deliver papers to sub
scribers and collect for same. All COM
plants for non-delivery and changes
can be given to him or telephoned to
the office.
Manager San Antonio Light.
Gan Antonio, Texas, May ., 1855.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-07-29

All contracts OF bills MUST be sp-
proved by the Secretary or Manager.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27

wonder why girl always goes NJ
stairs pigeontoed.
If woman loves man, she will for.
give him anything-except not loving
her.
You can slap woman's face as otter
as you please if you wear kid gloves
when you do it.
The first thing girl says after yor
kiss her is that she hadn't the least ides
you were going to.
Some widows would have the nerve,
if they married again, to hang the pic
ture of their first husbands up in the
bedroom.
The first thing some men will dc
when they get to heaven Is to lool
around for the men who owed then
money when they died.
A woman will forgive man for kiss
ing her good deal sooner than for act
!. ing sorry for it afterward.
When girl is saying goodby to ,
man in the hall. why does she stand vi
40 close and put her hands behind her?
Before girl gets married she long
for man whom she can worship; afte
she has been married year she is gen
orally satisfied if he doesn't act ugly a
meal times. New York Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
SKETCHES BY M.QUAD
The Hear Was First.

There were dozen of MS sitting on
the long platform in front of the cross
roads store and everybody heard the
growing and jawing between the last
two arrivals, who were evidently father
and son. Finally the son threw up his
hat and said:
"Look yere, pop, I kin make yo' hol-
Ter in about two minitsr'
'Tom, yo' couldn't make me holler
in hui week." replied the old man.
"Will yo' cum down and knock
chip of my shoulder"
"Mebbe I will, my fust BON, but if l
do yo'r head II 60 with it! Don't git me
worked up, Tom, don't do itp'
"Pop, ye old cuss!" began the sou,
but just then an Italian with big
dancing bear came round the corner.
"Tom, mebte yo'd like to tackle that
BARI" suggested the father, after look.
"Whoop, whoopeel% yelled the young
man as he jumped on his hat. "Pop,
I'll lick that bar outer his hide and
then tackle yo'r'
"I'll be waitin fur yo', Tom, but
mebbe yo' don't understand b'arsi"
"Then it's time | did! Whoopeel II
he don't outrnn me, mp
But the bear didn't run. The Italian
protested and gestured when he saw
what was coming, but he had scarcely
time TO let 60 Of the rope when Tom
and the bear were rolling in the dirt.
Tom whooped, and the bear growled,
while everybody else gathered around.
At the end of three minutes the Italian
and his bear were running down the
road and Tom lay painting in the dust
He was almost naked and covered with
blood and dirt, and by and by the ia
ther bent over him and queried:
"Waall, Tom, how yo' feelin?'
"Who got whopped?" asked Tom as
he opened his eyes.
"Yo' did, my son. Vas, that bar
licked yo' beautifully.
"No one else mixed in?''
Nobody. 1t was far fout, Tom. "
"And didn't make the b ar holler?''
Never a hoIler, my son. He didn't
seem to be doin half his best. What
yo' going to do?"
"Goin home, pop, goin home, whar
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Moving the Well.

A family who have recently taken
into their employ rosy checked Irish
maid Of all work say that her blunders
cause them amusement enough to COM
pensate for any trouble they may entail.
One day the man Of the house stated
in Bridget's hearing that he intended
to have a woodhouse built ON piece of
ground which at that time inelosed a
we'll.
"And sure, sorr," said the inquiring
Bridget, twill you be moyin the well
to more convanient spot whin the
woodhouse is builted?i'
A smile crossed her employers face,
and instantly Bridget saw that she had
made mistake of some sort.
''It's mesilf that's fool, I'm think
in, she said hastily, bound to retrieve
herself. "Av coorse whin tho we'll was
moved livery drop of wather would run
out av it. '--Youth's Companion.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
IART, MONTANA. FEBRUARY 27. 1897.
A GREAT BARRIER.
It Was the One Thing That Kept a Dear
Friend Away.

III was the One Thing That Kept Dear
Friend Away.
My wife finished the note, with her
forehead gathered into Fuckers as deep
as though she were trying to make her
accounts balance.
"What is it, my dear?" I asked.
"Why, it is from Mrs. Tucker" she
replied slowly and thoughtfully, tell
ing me that poor Mary is dying and is
extremely anxious to see me.
well. why don't you go at once?"
asked
"Why. don't see how can," re.
piled my wife.
"Why not?" l demanded impatiently.
'It's broad daylight. it isn't raining,
and you have a new dress and hat"
"Oh, wouldn't t ever think of such
things with such a summons" pro-
tested my wife.
"Why don't you go then?" urged.
cor do you insist upon riding? Shall
go over and borrow Thompson's wheel
barrow and trundle you there9"
"Oh, John, don't see how you car
joke at such time as this" responded
my wife, almost i'll tears.
Madam" retorted, you mistake
! am not joking. What feminine fool
ishness prevents you from Immediately
granting the last request Of very deal
friend is beyond my poor oemprehen
sion, that is all. Will you kindly en-
Tighten me?''
Goodness knows" said my wife
'I'd go through fire and water fol
Mary, but under the circumstances
don't see-I really don't see how / cal
call there now.'
"Why not?" again demanded sharp
ly.
because, F." explained my wife plain
lively, "you see Mary owes me call.
New York Sunday Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27

There was to be a camp meeting at
Snyder's cove, on the Cumberland
mountains, and day or two before the
opening stopped at cabin ten miles
away for dinner. After awhile some
thing was said about camp meeting, and
I asked the mountaineer if he was 60
ing to attend.
''I'm figgerin ON it," he slowly re-
piled, with glance at his wife.
Lots Of work to do, eh?'
"No, not much. Ever h'ar Of the
Fords?"
''No, never have.
"Waal, thar's five Of EN-, includin
the old man, and they'll all be thar. -
eyes.
Ever h'ar of the Irwins?"
"No."
"Waal, the old man died last month,
but thsr's four of the boys, and they II
oil be thar. -
eyes. -
Ever h'ar of the Thompsons-Ben
Thompson's family" he continued. as
he slipped his corn coffee.
Eyes; staid at the Thompsons cab
In two nights ago.
'Then yo' know thar's ole Ben and
five or six strappin big boys. That
gang will be thar for shore. -
Eyes, heard them say they were
going. Are all those people friends of
yours?'
"Skassly, stranger, skassly," he re
piled, as he and his wife exchanged a
smile. That's what we hev bin figger-
in on fur the last two days. Five Fords,
four Irwins and six Thompsons-15 in
all. l don't skassly believe l kin fetch
it"
Fetch what?" asked.
"Why, pop over the hull Is befo'
they pops me-.
"Oh, see. Then it's a feud. "
"Waal, not reg lar feud as 1 knows
on, but sorter that way jest 'nuff tt
bring on shootin match as soon as We
all git together. No, reckon we won 7
attend that camp meetin. Thar'll prob
ably be another next var, and if he'
good luck I'll hey redooced the 10 dowi
to figger whar kin sot up my ten
and praise the Lawd and cum off bes
in a sorimmage. NJ. QUAD.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
IN CLASSIC BOSTON.
A Plantation Sermon That Was Indeed
Geographical Marvel.


1t is not often that plantation SER
mon delivered by colored preacher is
heard in Boston church, but the Rev.
DIR. A. J. Gordon once listened to such
q homily while sitting in judgment ON
the pulpit style" of negro minister
from South Carolina.
DIR. Gordon and a committee from the
white church which supported the col.
ored mission had entered the meeting
house little late and found the preach
er delivering his sermon on the words
In the Eighty-seventh Psalm, "And of
Zion it shall be said, Ttis and that man
was born in her. ;" The preacher was
making clear the thought that wherever
mans home might be, his spiritual
birthplace was in Zion Said he:
''Let us go to de city OBJ Charleston,
an hubberin ober dat wicked city. let
us shout down to de Lords children,
'Whar war yer born?' An dey will hol-
Ter back, 'We'se born in Zionr
"An den let us go on to Richmond an
ask de brederen dere, 'Whar war yer
bornf' An dey will say, too, 'We'se born
In Zion. ="
The preacher passed on from city to
oity, followed by the audience, who ex-
pressed their excitement by swaying
back and forth, until he reached Green.
land, and the Christians "libbin In dat
benighted Ian" were asked, "Whal
war yer born?"
"An now, brederen," he continued,
'let us go to de north pole, an twinir
our legs round de pole, let us lift uI
our voices an cry, 'Whar war yer born?
An de Christians dere will shout back
tWe'se born in Zionp +"
The visiting committee, who had
thought the preacher had reached tbs
end of his journey, were astonished.
For the preacher, after a physical, moi
a rhetorical, pause--his wind had giver
out-shouted, "Brederen, let us 40 or
to de east pGep'
That flight broke down the impassivt
Gordon. The committee saw the self re
straint of their usually very dignifiet
pastor give way as though struck by ,
glacier. He laughed and laughed, anC
1t wac some time before he obtained full
self control. Youth Companion.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Let the Dons Beware,

Land of garlic and podesta,
Land of bull flght-yes, and festa-
Land of beauty meath manti1las,
Land of Zaras. land Of Zillahs,
Land of citron and banditti,
Land of braggarts-more's the pity
Don't you meddle with Unc' Sam1,
Or you'll envy long dead Hamil.
For he'll dam your Guadalquiver
Till your very rocks do shiver,
And he'll rip right through your nation
II 1t comes to occupation,
And your playful picarellos
And your other pretty fellows
Will be swept to kingdom coming
When Unc' Sam'i gets TO hummingl
We have caught the style from weyler.
And we mean to bust biler.
II in thirty days we meet you,
We will surely skin AMI eat you'll
Mark our words with nary scorning-
'Tis double loaded warning.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27

kin think it over and hev chance to
weep. Thar's my hand. | was feoliu
mad this mawnin and wanted a fuss
with yo', but I'm different man now.
knowed l could whoop, and thought
could fight, but I've been whopped by
burned ole bar who'd run from a
yaller dawg, and | hain't got nuthin
mo- to say"
And as the storekeeper asked us all
in to take corn juice with him every
body looked at the figure limping up
the road and sighed Pore Tomr'
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Departed Grazing.

''Just 3S years ago today" said the
old soldier, "the top of my head was
grazed by bullet"
"There isn't much grazing there now,
is there. grandpa?" was the comment of
the youngest grandchild. and as the old
gentleman rubbed his bare poll he had
to admit the correctness Of the asser-
tion. Indianapolis Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Sympathetic.

'I was at the courthouse today" re-
marked Gilfoyle, "and I saw a man
sentenced to the penitentiary for three
years for bigamy."
"He had too many wives, eh?" re-
piled Bickers. "That's my fix exactly,
and can sympathize with the poor fell
low
"You? Why, you have only one
wife. -
II know it, New York Sunday
Journal
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
To Grow Up.

"Why do people take so much inter
est in what they call darkest Africa,
anyhow"
"I presume they have kind of idea
it would be good thing to go there and
grope with the country" - Chicago
Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Still VindiefiYe.

II wish," mnttered the implacable
Weyler, with a gleam Of baffled rage in
his eye, "that Maceo could have lived
long enough to see some of these obitu-
ary poems the American papers have
printed in his honor. Chicago Trib-
une.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
To Divide Her Attention

~ want one of those mangdoleens. "
said Farmer Cornhill to the dealer in
musical instruments, "the kind you
play on with piece of turtle she'll"
"Yes, sir; for YOURSELF" asked the
clerk.
''No; fer my wife. want to get her
something sides me to pick on. Gin.
cinnati Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Why She Never Smiles.

Mr.. De Rich-What sad. sweet face
Miss Psyche has. She never smiles, She
must have met with some great loss.
Miss Desmart-Yes; she was in rail
way accident some weeks ago, and she
lost front tooth. London Spare Mo
ments.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-02-27
Fresh Winds.

New Arrival-The winds up here
Eeem to be quite fresh.
st. Peter (grumpily)--Indeed they
are. They are all the time trying to
blow through my whiskers Truth.