davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

IL seg--za- 5 &c - The premier. 50 q
s5e1-s = 80 Mckinley cabinet The sen
A-1r - z1xy ~. osn - aggressive ana
F ra12a r-=- ~ --x-- rpr-.rE the foreign
4-Is--s 5s.sA--r.l-1t- IN -hlS connoct.o1 i
- - i1re-s->a - -e0aH tha- ne s. strongly
fs--1szE S-E-u n reg quarrel witA Cuba
-as --,1-i hess-s aever have any dif-
Sr-1ir ~ ss-lzi-r au1 trey &c. iown
% -'.-iss-lesss AZ 1ace.
4 c.-azls- ~a-i poii,!cizn n Chicago Is
i:arura- 70 have tire best chance so5 the
ss-s7s f-sru Illinois vnser she new rerrb-
leza regime = 'aat State. The recen,
s3--s-T sTsr 'snar- ny and q shono1'
- a'-1rr.z sorls rl-a. rire fruit-so r.p4 Il,
$ ctsc4k 10 distinguish 4; from the rot
;ee-
y oasy Ev-1-s a-sThs1r from the pres
~. Hsrzts - s.olit s~ssr publicly that
he ~ssiaa'' have 50 h. could seii
Trerier Is rr,.--x mad q, the Newspaper
rae= pao are -r47irss.1x ms aarr n.S,ra-
tss1 ~ COMMA -,s.i,--ils--1 .sf-e sery good
g. tsa. iae te--s 30 Rot constitute. q
s-fC14al 3-.t-rse No general o: recent
2 -lss azs ,na5s s. ~ uziorogs failure
N+ -% :
~ 49,. - ,,.....--
..-.,-- *. -, 81.
80,
49,, '-' ''--'
-. -..,-. ~, -
az l'', e'9
- ~ are
go ''.ls
% -.'''r
5 TesDens-ohe Or i-oer z2serafnen,.
----
ing go ~ F'N'' We" ne
- ~ No.
i JOY s''e' re-
% '~s "--'- 'Ns 80 Hs
i-'nF -i'pA
- h't'i4 Nsh'
=" '''A e-'' common
H' 'hs +i'' rA'F pi q Cox
AAs 'il4' -o-.' easily
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15
The P!ttsburg Dispatch
IRE PRIMARY
ELECTIONS.
The recommends
ton OF Governor
plngrce OF Mich


igan in regard 10 primary elections is one
worthy of careful attention by the legisla-
lures of other States than his own. The
plan is to have party primaries held under
the same laws and in the same manner as
general elections. abolishng all delegate
and conferce conventions, the returns from
each district being computed by a return
ing board, as in the case OF general cleo
tons. This is believed to be the only sys-
TEN that will eliminate the most glaring
OF the recognized evils OF primary politics.
Legislation to effect such change in
Pennsylvania will be presented to the leg
islature this winter. 1t Is in line with the
| reforms proposed by the republican plat =
form. and is practically essential to secure
| the full force of those reforms. The dele
gate convention and delegate conference
are at the very foundation Of corrupt poli-
ties a fact that was recognized by the
crafty law makers who omitted from the
statutes against bribery the crime OF cor
rupting a delegate or Conferoe.
remedy for one feature of the evil was
attempted last session by the bill of SEN
ator Brown. making the purchase OF con-
ferees an oGfense-a bill that was quietly
smothcred The influences OF this session
| however, are expected to be different, and
| look for a radical change of the whole pr-
mary system; a change that will give the
voter direct voice in expressing his choice OF
candidate. and that will hedge about that
choice the sevcrcst penalties against the
| corrupt use of money by candidates or the
acceptance OF brides by the voter Such q
change is only possible by putting the prl-
mary elections under the same system as
| tho general elections.
| The plea made against this system is that
OF expense. II may be admitted that the
election machinery will entail greater ex-
| pCnsc than under the present system. but
| il must not be forgotten that this will he
| partly offset by saving the expense of con,
| vcutIons and conferences, and far more
| than compensated for by the Saving in TIN
| election expenses OF candidates and com
mittees. But. n all that Is suggested in
| rCgard to added expense were true the
purity OF the urinary ballot would b,
worth all it would cost.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15
TELEPHONE NUMBERS.
EdScr,al, 81 Business. lA


The P~. h. Delivered 20 any par. OF the
~,.v nv carriers o. 81 % per nnc--h. three
roon.hs. 800; s.x months. $50; one year.
Sl2m
cry r'ir--ulatioa and Ccsiectsnr.
Nexsrs Theodore Ats7sr and InaFles
Lott are the authorized ccleetors G. q.
CITY bfils both advertising and saSscr.p y
f,on ar1 no money sheGia Re paid 20 A-l
one other thar -hose named unless srset a.
written authority <ignca fY the basesstss
Manarer i shown. All accounts OF Aay
ssrs SHOULD he pad hr cheek IN favor OF
THE Houston Printing Company
No orders for goods" H,c-. are Elv-s ~
tie management. All no1e xiii lie Aceest-
"a - r,ayir,.zt OF Office Bias.
suhscy7hes-s failing 20 receive re TSpef
regularly elH rlesse notify the ONCE
rsrorrpfSy. Every subscribers pager Is er.
i-esre. 10 he a4aEvere3 &c; Later shAa t-A
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15
HOUSTON DAILY POST.
Houston Priatiag Company.
8. 4 WATSON, r. n. JOHNSTON.
q. ). PXIHER, secrstary.
IN 1, S4 ss:.. .oss f .s 4, aSs.
smi.vvsskIy Pest, U2 Cole. per Week

Entered a, tn Pcstomcs 81 Houston TsxAS
IS eecond Case Msrscr
futser1pticn BIZ Nail-- DAILY sud sunday foeL oae
rear 8 90: six months s<.vo; shres nansns
t2Uo: fpcnfb. 81 90
turdsyrcs;. ore year 81 % 80.
eentWeekIy Post. fNoDdsrs ans Inunsag
year. 81 90; stx montns. ts.oo' tnrs n"A'As'
fx-vo, one month. ti.ov.
eundat Poss. ore year. u 80
semi weel " Post, Monda,s a,d Tnuftchts y.
year, 81. 90: sil months. Soc three ns.tnp' xss.
Eastern Business Qcnce. - 1r.eun- brli1inS' ~"
Ycrx. be E { Beekwiih Special Agency. -.
Wcrt<ra B1siness on q, ssF The heskcfy'. ~"
caxo To- : T. Fec with :ptcial Aseay.
C. :. V HOLLAND. Trsnveiins Anditof "a.
New triesns, La - Bcs.ress hescosztcr ~ -
81. Caaries street T. Y. A. rnosTs H. ~ sn'ef'
Agent , n 49,,
n Pos,s Travelins Agents Colonel o cary
Genersi TRAVELLING Agent. WIN D. Ina . n
Benish. n. H. HoilaHc and q o. Csrfy.
Special stan Commfsstcnefs'
AT AtrSTlN-l.. A. Petit. office N The
State CAPITOL Building.
Al DALLAs-Jsmes Hays 9aS'ies.
At GALVESToN--J. II. sullivan. Office
n Inc Evening Tribune Building.
TELEPHONE NUMBERS.
EdEoriAl. 81 Business. iA
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

: c--=ar- sal poiiucisn n Chicago Is
i.arura- 70 haze tire best chance tot the
ss-s7s f-sru Illinois vnser she new rerrn-
leza -s--se = tna. sia,e. Tho recen,
s5--a-y gvs- ~snar ny and "d,shono5'
Is barry sor1ls rl-a. rire fruit-so r.p4 II
$ o-fs94k 10 distinguish 4. from the rot
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

T-e -rsl-i hrzs 1ever have any tif.
er1tir - 0rsza-tz.rE at3 trey sc. iown
% -':-ss-es,s- AZ ooce.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

Il riyes me mlrthful feelings to hear the
hAilas republicans talk OF each other.
Thrrc seems to be as many factions among
iisri1 ~ there arc applicants for Office, To
coaat these would be like taking COM
pleie pill Of the party. think 1t well q
iooYc all such matters TO General Orosve
nor Eaeh member al the g. o. p in this
seeiion sesrna to feel that he is sovereign
for which there Ia nothing too good. ME
and MeKialey can run the United States
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

- = ts ts't-r@iy determined tha; SER
~ s4t--zaa 5 &c - The premier. 50 q
ssesa-s = t1e Mckinley cabinet The sen.
A'ar Is zoxy Az osn - aggressive and
F ra-aa prey ~ rcr1.rE the foreign
s-iaA-s 5@.sa--s-re-;- IN thlS coanoct.o1 i,
= - t1re-s->r - -e1aI taa- Ne Sc strongly
fs---GE S-E-1 n hes quarrel w-ItA Cuba
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

Crane knew this was one Of the opportu.
mites Of a lifetime to add 10 his reputa
lion a. lawyer, ana eagerly awaited him
SELF q II. The night before he began his
argument found him porting over musty
law books like an Industrious frs, class
man dolyins for Greek roots in the hone o.
winning graduation honors. He stuck tc
his task until late hour. and narrowly
missed burning midnight oil The result
Was that when he arose TO reply in behalf
% the State he was as familiar with what
he Wished "a say as with the routine duties
~ his Office Crane Is uo mean orator. and
every sent spce he uttered came with easy
Craze and hucncy.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15

:, ha' little trouble and no ,.,.,..|
all has been found neca,s.' sslss|
with the high hat nuisane. y \
theaters. All programme.
words underlined, asking -. 80
and when this is not enor.. s'r
quest from the ushers doss t !. ~
ayers of other playhouses r -, Y \
method 1t would be far mora rs, " Y
successful than il the hesS .sse
should take the matter up vi
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-01-15
THE STATE PAPEM

l.. II. Woodruff is 10 resume 'ne !
cation of the Refugio Register az =
Iatp
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
People Killed by jealousy.

The physicians say that the enter
tainment of jealousy has a disorganiz-
ing effect upon the body, and certainly
it is disturbing to the mind. A jealous
woman may have been as lovely as Il
May morning, but jealousy upsets her.
Jealousy guarantees biliousness. Bill
iousress makes bad temper, cross
words. These, too, are disturbing to
the cook, and she sends bad food TO the
table. The man can't eat it, and his
business goes wrong all day. A jeal-
Gus, bilious woman Is a bad mother.
She upsets the children, and money has
to be paid out for medicine for them.
Domestic jealousy becomes in time
very dangerous. Professional of bust
ness jealousy kills. The woman who
whispers a convenient detrimental
word about an associate into the ear
of her patron OF employer may benefit
for 4 day. In the end he concludes she
Is Enthusiastically.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
@Ss+.
WOOTEN'S SHIRT OF MAIL.
lie Had 1t Made to Protect Him from
Rullets OF Moonshiners.

lie Had 1t Made to Protect Him from
Rullets OF Moonshiners.
j. w. Wooten, one of the Breathitt
%county's, KY, constables, has had so
many close calls while assisting rev.
enue agents in raids on moonshiners
that he determined recently to take
precautions for the future. Te has
been shot in the chest several times,
and was near death for several months
on a certain occasion when a moon
sinners aim was unusually accurate.
Wooten had been reading of coats Of
mail, and he determined to have one
made that would turn bullets. He went
to a firm in Cincinnati and explained
what he wanted. One of the firms
artisans conceived the idea Of making
him an undershirt composed of small
steel rings tapping each other some
thing on the order of the feathers of a
bird. Wooten told the manager that
he would buy such a shirt if it was
guaranteed to be bullet proof. and if he
was allowed to fire a Winchester at ii
at a distance of fifty yards before ac-
cepting it. The workman who con-
ceivcd the idea of making the shirt
told the manager that he could afford
to take the risk, and accordingly the
shirt was built. 1t is three-ply, the
rings being adjusted so that the gar.
ment is flexible, and yet the steel wire
of which the rings are composed resist.
ed the impact of a forty-four calibeI
bullet fired from a Winchester by Con
| stable Wooten at the specified distance
The constable now says thai the moon
sinners will have to shoot him in The
head before they can kill him. Near
ly all the raids are made in the night
time, and the constable thinks it viii
be difficult for the sinners to hit hin
in the head.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
Not to he

Time was when there was only one
chaise In the town of Mechanic Falls,
and that one belonged 10 an old man
OF somewhat eccentric ways.
One day a young man wanted to hire
the chaise to take his best girl to ride.
The owner agreed, but nothing was
said about the price. Toward night
fall the young man brought the chaise
back.
"How much is the damage?" he
asked.
I Where did We go?' returned the old
man.
The young man named the place.
How far do you call that?'
Twelve miles"
Nope said the old man, cts only
ten
II tell you it's twelve good, long
miles, and I've been over it times
enough to know"
HIN. l Travelled the road before you
IA out of dresses. l tell you faint
but ten miles"
Both of them were losing their tenn
per rapidly.
"Nevcr mind how far it is" cried the
young man; you tell me how much
W you, and III pay you and get
out"
Catching his breath, the old man
t%hundered: Young Teller. We dom
owc me a cent: but, by mighty, III be
burned eff you're agoin' to cheat me Oh
tho Decentralization Journal.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
BEHIND THE FOOTLIGHTS.

Julia Arthur's engagement in New
York in Mrs. Burnett's Lady of Quail
ity" will last six weeks.
Harold Frederic's novel THE Dam
nation of Theron Ware is being dra-
matized by John L. Kellerd.
Harry Miner is making arrange
ments to present Shore Acres in
London, with Mr.. James Herne in the
leading role.
Papinta, the myriad. dancer, has
bought a California ranch. 1t contains
100 acres, and cost $3.50, 900. When she
has acquired a comfortable fortune she
intends to retire to the ranch and en-
JOY life.
Anthony Hope Hawkins. author Of
THE Prisoner of Zenda," is one of the
handsomest men in England, six fee
tall and 80 years of age. He was edu
Gated in a school founded e~Xclusivel.
for the sons of clergymen and gradu'
ated from Oxford in 1885.
Anna Held, who will appear in the
title role of LA Poupee," will sail fol
America the last of this month. Al
present she is studying her part under
the guidance OF Audran, the composer
at his summer villa in France. Miss
Held is having great difficulty in he,
study of English, which she is obllgei
to learn, according to her contract. =.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
paEa'S Mistake.

"Now, them exclaimed the irate
father, as he squared off and began
rolling up his sleeves. 81 want you to
explain why you stole my daughter
away"
II didn't steal her," the young man
replied. "She went willingly, and
there isn't a court on earth that win
not agree with me-
"You lie!" the trembling old gentle
man cried: you know you lie! You
got her on that tandem bicycle of yours
and carried her away. Speak! Is it
not sOT'
ut is true" the other replied, that
we went away OH n tandem. but thai
fact only proves that | could not pos
sibIy have taken her against her Will
Have you ever been OH Il tandemE
"Nov screamed the stricken father
"never!."
''Then that accounts for your 1gnof
ance in the present case. Didn't yol
know that a woman generally sits II
front and picks out the course to b'
pursuedF'
With q Notwithstanding groan the
white-haired old man sank down, cry
ing:
"Alas. 'Tis true. l hadn't though
of that! What'll you have?-Cleve
land Leader.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
Omen Confession.

The preacher was having a sort OF
test meeting, by asking the congrega-
ton questions on their conduct. ;
"Now, BRETHREN" he said, "all OF you
who pay your debts will please stand
up"
In response to this there was an ap-
parently unanimous uprising.
Now" said the preacher, asking the
others to sit down, ALI those who do
not pay will please stand up"
One man alone arose.
".Ah, brother" said the preacher,
"why is it that you, of all this congre.
cation of brethren, should be so diff
ferent"'
Il don't know, pars0n," he replied
slowly, as he looked around Over his
friends and acquaintance in the meet
ing, unless it is that I'm not a liar
and cause l can't get what the people
round here owe me-"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
FOR A 100000 CANAL.
A Project to Pierce the Florida Penln

A Project to Pierce the Florida Penin-
suIa Now Under Considerations.
Florida, long behind her neighbors
In respect to material development, has
increased her railroad mileage and has
added to her steamboat trade recently.
Elorida has a coast line of 1000 miles,
and the area Of water surface is 4,440.
to $4,000 square miles OF land surface,
says the New York Sun. For a state
having so much water area Florida has
a very inferior canal service, the chief
canal Of the state being the Santa Fee,
zen miles long. completed in 1880, and
costing $4,000, between Waldo and
Melrose. With the increase OF the
railroad business of Florida there has
been a like increase in the demand for
canal communication, and recently
there has appeared a project for the
cutting of a waterway through Florida
10 connect the Atlantic ocean with the
Gull and to be of sufficient capacity for
the passage of ocean going vessels. The
articles of Incorporation have been filed
in this city. The capital is $75, 900, 900.
Inc projectors say that the canal will
be of the greatest Importance to the
commercial interests of this country.
The width of the waterway will be 200
feet through Its entire length, and it
will be five years or more before the
canal a be completed, provided that
there are no serious difficulties in the
way. A $751; 00, 100 canal would be an
ambitious enterprise for Florida, es-
pecially when the fact is taken into
consideration that the great Cuez canal
represents in all a total expenditure OF
s101 ,O0O, 900, and the Erie canal, which
has contributed so largely to the pros
perity of New York city, only $751;
000, 600. 1t is believed by the project.
CTS of the Florida canal project thai
no insurmountable obstacles will be
met. The assent Of the Tallahassee
legislature has been secured. (,
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
All Face.

The Marquis of Lorne, when govern
O%r-general of Canada, was present at
some sports held On the ice of the st.
Lawrence.
Though wrapped in furs, he felt the
cold acutely, and was astonished to
see an ancient Indian meandcring
around barefoot, enveloped only in a
blanket.
ue asked the savage how he NAH
aged to bear such a temperature when
he had so little Oh.
"Why you no cover your face|' in
Quired the Indian
The marquis replied that no one
ever did so, and that he was accus-
toned to have his face naked from
birth.
Good" rejoined the prairie king.
me all face!'-Spare Moments.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
A Martyr to Melons.

hdrIyF To melons,
Inc melon crop was short this year,
and a southwest Georgia farmer who
had practically '%'cornered" it in his
~neighborhood had suffered seriously
from the ~depredations of some of the
hungry colored brethren. So he gave
1t out that he had poisoned his mel
ons, and after the news went forth he
ceased to miss them.
Night after night an old negro who
lived neal the finest melon patch had
gazed at their green sides with hungry
eyes, but the thought of the poison kept
him hungry still.
One moonlight night, however, his
appetite got the best of him. He look
ed in the direction of the melons long
and earnestly; then, s~houldering a
sack. he started off.
"In de name er goodness, Rufus,
whar you gwine?" asked his wife.
The old man turned, pointed to the
melon patch ard said, slowly and SOL
emily:
I'm a-gwine whar dem melons Isl"
"But-dey's poisoned!'
Il know dey is! But I'm gwine ter
take my death. Pray fer me!"-At'
lanta Constitution.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
PATIENTS.
List of Patents Issp ed Inst Week to
NorthNvcstcrn Inventors.

List of Patents Issued Inst Week to
Northwestern Inventors.
Julius d. Brainard, st. Paul, Mimi,
storm sash and window screen hanger
and operator; Charles II. Cottrell, Min
ncapolis. Mimi, barrel lining; Arthur
T.. Crandall and &. w. Byrnes, Bercs-
ford. S. d., form cabinet; Daniel Ia
hey, Gracevllle. Mimi, wheel; James
NJ. Graham, Drayton, n. D., sash fas-
tcncr; Ernest +. Jewell. Lake City,
Mimi, book support; Richard Lord,
Kasson, Mimi, hub attaching device;
Henry NJ. Peterson, Horace. n. d.,
windmill: Daniel Reed, Eagle Lake,
Minn.,. air ship; James N. Runions,
Cokato, MINI, sleigh; Peter A. Schu-
macher. Reynolds, N. D., end bearing
for shafts; Christian A. Skeie, st. Hill
iare, Mimi, snap hook.
Mcrwin, Lothrop & Johnson. Patent
Attys., $40 p. +. bldg, st. Paul, Mimi.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
Same Old Lie.

Business" exclaimed the manager
who had just come back with a sum
mer company. MY boy, you never saw
such enthusiasm. Why, only night be-
fore last we had a house that actually
forced the orchestra out"
YES" returned the nan who had
been there before. Once in a while
an audience does get unnecessarily
violent, doesn't it?"
The man who had Just come back
gave the man who had been there a
cold, hard stare, but he didn't try to
explain.-Chicago Post.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30

The most striking feature of the lat
est annual report of the Health Officer
for Leicester, just published. is his
emphatic testimony to the success of
the "wet pack" method of treating
scarlet fever. He reminds the corpO-
ration that in his previous report he
had spoken favorably on the subject.
Since then he has subjected about 200
patients in the fever hospital to the
treatment, as compared with about 500
treated by other methods. On the
whole, he indorses his previous favor
able verdict on the method, and adds:
''The more ! see of the packing meth
cd of scarlet fever cases, the better
like it,"
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30
S!O0 TO Any Man.
WILL PAY 500 FOR ANY cAss
OF Weakness Ia Men They Treat and
Fail to Cure, &

An Omaha Company places for the frst
time before the public q MAGICAL TnEAr-
-MENT fol. the cure Of Lost Vitality, Nervous
and Sexual Weakness, and Restoration Of
Life Force in cd and young men. No
worn-out French remedy; contains no
Phosphorous or other harmful drugs. It ia
a WONDERFUL TREATMENT-magical in its
effects-positive in its cure. All readers,
who are suffering from q weakness that
blights their lieos cducing that mental and
physical suffering peculiar to Lost Man
hood, shouldwriteto tho SfATEMEDICAL
COMPANY, Omaha, Neb., and they will
send you absolutely FREE, q valuable
paper on thece diseases, and positive proofs
of Their truly MAGICAL TREATMENT. fhous-
ands Of men, who have lost ell hope Of a
cure, are Being restored By them to o per-
feet condition.
This MAGICAL TREATMENT may be taken
at home under their directions, or they will
pay railroad fare and hotel bills to all who
prefer to 60 there for treatment, If they
fail to cure. They are perfectly reliable;
have no Free Prescriptions, Free Cure,
Free Sample, or c. o. D. fake. They have
s25O,OOO capital, and guarantee to cure
every ease they treat or refund every dollar;
or their charges n1oy be deposited in a
bank to be paid to them when q cure is
effected. Write them today.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30

How He Got or.

Magistrate Ito prisoner. who is be-
fore him for bcgglng)--What makes
you beg?
Prisoner (whining)-Because l can't
get any work, your honor.
Magistrate-WOuld you work If you
could get any?
Prisoner-Gladly, your honor.
Magistrate-What work?
prisoner-Anything, your honor.
Magistrate (rather stingy, with an
eye to business)-I have a heap OF
weeds | want taken out of my ground,
would you do that?
Prisoner-Yes, your honor; only too
glad of the job.
Magistrate-You are discharged.
Prisoner-Did you say l was dis
charged, your honor?
Magistrate-Yes; you're discharged.
Prisoncr-Then weed your blooming
garden yourself.-Sparc Moments.
The Dupuyer acantha. [volume] (Dupuyer, Mont.) 1894-1904, 1897-12-30

CURED the visitor.
ooh, l don't know" replied Willie.
Across the ocean," persisted the
visitor, facetiOusly.
II shouldn't wonder" answered Will
ie, promptly.
Why, Willie, do you know how far
it is across the ocean," demanded
Willie's mother.
Don't care how far it is" rctorted
Willie. Pop told me once never to
admit that l couldn't do n thing until
1 tried and failed, and l nevc tried
his."--Chicago Post.