davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
Over T,crt rcct TIL.

King James l had a gigantic Porter S
feet 6 inches in height, bat he was not
perfect, being round shoUidCrcd, knock
kneed and lame In tie foot. OF similar
height was Charles b.Li.ster, II yeoman Of
the Hanoverian guard who died In 1876,
and seven years before there was being ex-
bibited in London u Dutchman feet 8
inches high, anent whom in Pepys' diary,
we find the following entry on Aug. 10,
1869: went to Charing Cross TO see the
great Dutchman. did walk under his
arm with my hat on, and could not reach
his chin with the tips of my fingers. -
London Standard.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
1t Angered Rogers.

The poet Rogers was afflicted with a no.
tably unpleasant, cadaverous countenance,
which, with all his intellectual power, was
a modification to him. TO hide his an
noyance, he jolSed about his ugliness in
cessantly and deceived his friends into sup
posing him indifferent to it, He once
turned TO sydney Smith, who with Byron
and Moore, was dining with him, and
said:
"Chantrey wants 20 Tcrpctuatc this mis-
cradle face of mine. What pose would you
suggest that ! should tabv?'
IF you really wish 60 spare the world
as much as possible" said the wit, Il
would, if | were you, he taken ut my pray.
ers my face buried in ny hands. F"
Rogers laughed with 1sc other persons
present, bar ho sbct "a malignant glance
at the jester, ana. ir Is said ncycr fully
forgaye him Tor TIC bon not Youth:
Companion.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
The Humorous Reggar.

Boylan was in the mood TO be taken In,
If ever. He had eaten good dinner, light
ed good cigar and stepped out on the
front stoop into the first warm evening of
IA tardy spring.
GOOD evening, colonel, spoke q mill
tary figure from the sidewalk, coming to a
salute.
When man is already feeling good all
over, nothing is so conducive TO making
him feel better than respectful salute,
with title prefxed TO his name.
"You see how am fixed, colonel?'' said
the stranger, stepping up and holding out
a right hand, on which were only "a thumb
and forefinger.
Boylan looked.
"That is bad" he commented good
humoredly.
"But I'll tell you, colonel, confidently.
81 know place where l can get three fin
gers for 10 cents"
"Give upy l should say 1 did" said
Boylan, telling the story. 81 thought
had something that would have been cheap
ut 80 cents. There's where / was taken
in I've told the story five times i'm my
ward, and each time somebody has said
pensively, That's so; you did move here
last month.
"You see the fellow has already worked
the district out.
"But tell you" said Boylan, kindling.
"That fellow doesn't know what a fortune
he's got in that hand. I'd like to syndi.
cate him and manage him on tour of one
night stands. So far as the hand goes, ii
has all the fingers it needs-just enough
to pick up dime-and if the old chap
would only hustle, there's millions in it. u
Chicago Record.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
SHE TOOK LEGAL MEASURES.
How the Judges Daughter Detained tho
Young Man.

Young Man.
The judges daughter WAS looking Just
MS guileless as it was possible for girl to
look, but then the state of mind of the
Judges daughter cannot always be judged
by her looks
"That Young man." said tho judge,
"seemed determined to hang on all night"
The judges daughter merely smiled
Didn't he hear me stamping up and
down the hallway" demanded the Judge
81 don't see how he could have helped
it, " replied the judges daughter
"But he still hung on, persisted the
judge.
81 am afraid that was my fault, father"
answered the judges daughter. But IL
you will only consent TO look at the mat
ter from legal point of view / think you
will agree that l did exactly what was
proper.
"From legal point of yiewv" ejacu-
lated the old gentleman in astonishment
Certainly" she answered Just take
the case home to yourself. Suppose you
had entered into a limited partnership
agreement with man, and you thought
you detected desire on his part to get
away in haste Wouldn't you take out
some kind of writ to stop him"
"You mean a writ of no eXeat, sup
pose" suggested the judge
SIS that the kind of writ that pre-
vents any one from going awayy" inquired
the judges daughter.
"That's just what 1t Is. ,"
"Then that's what l was thinking of, p"
she said. "He heard you stamping up
and down the hall, and he betrayed most
extraordinary desire TO get away, but de-
tanned him ~ a writ Of kneo ezeat. -
Chicago Post.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
IN HARVEST TIME.

Remember. dearest how youths easy ways
Lead TO one certain goal OF dusty death.
Learn. then, the wisdom born of these brief
days
In which the Joy OF life is one with breath.
Delay not. pause not, give me love for love,
And mark the exchange with KISSES lip 10
lip,
Lest that fierce eagle, time, slay our poor dove
Before IL taste the sweets Of fellowship
All. take the best, the all, have to give,
And I'm the taking leave me richer FAR,
That In loves constellation we may i've
The perfect union OF double star
The land is ripe 10 harvest. Lift your eyesl
The reapers reap in fields of misty gold.
The full ears fall. The husbandman Is wise.
Dear heart, be wise as he, as he be boidl
Pail Mall Gazette.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
Mending China.

1t Is said that one Of the best known &C.
ments for mending fine china is the white
Oil paint sold In tubes. Squeeze the paint
out and mend the articles as soon as posi-
bic after they are broken. Paint the edges
OF the break with the white oil paint and
press them securely together. Put the ar
ticle carefully away to dry for at least six
weeks, when 1t is said that moisture, heat
or cold will not affect the cement. Care
FULLY scrape of oil excess Of paint.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
One Exception.

Little Johnny-Pa, is 1t true that fisher
men are always liars2
Pa-Not at all, Johnny, not at all, and
/ ought to know, for, though l do say IL,
suppose there never was fisherman IN
this world who could compete with your
father. Boston Transcript
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
Mare and More.

Jeremiah" she said to her husband
who dislikes pets, "you know thai you
think great deal more of that dog thah
you used to-"
"That's true"
"I'm glad to hear you say SO.
EVERY night now he refuses to leu n,o
think of anything else. "-Washing'o"
Star.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24

In The Ibis for 1883 Mr.. Quincy gave
list of "a species of birds In which onevs
more instances of female assuming malo
plumage had been recorded. Mr.. ourney
now publishes an additional list oil nlne
species, making 33 in all, besides so'n'
uncertain cases.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24
Pneumatic Treatment.

"Mrs. Bickers treats her husband very
badly" remarked McCorkle.
81 would say that she treats him Ike n
bicycle tire" replied McCacklc.
"Iow do you make that outi"
''She blows him up - Harper's Bazar.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24

The order of baronets was estaphsneu
by James / In 1911. This title Is iouna -
no country of the continent, existing on''
In the British dominions.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24

"Vanity is great blessing" said
Stokes. "The vain person Is always
happy"
81 don't know" said Mokes. ave
seen peacock blue. "-Washington Capt.
tai.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24

The science of physiognomy dates from
the writings of Lavatcr, who WIS born in
1741 and died in 1901.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-07-24

From Auckland, N H., to Washington
Is distance of $500 miles.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06
a uITTLE NONSENSE.

In the Art Schooi.-"Say, old man,
have you any thumb tac<s?'' mo; but
Ihsve some finger nails."-Yale Record.
II found lead pencil this morn
ing..' 'That isn't very remarkable"
sWell, but it had one of those safety
pocket holders on it."-Yalc Record.
He Richly Deserves It.-May We
venture to express the hope that the
man who writes it Xmas will have a
Happy Kew Chicago Daily Tri-
bune.
Hello, Handle Bar, what was your
hurry when you came in on your wheel
to-day? Inever saw you work SO hard"
II wanted to get home before my CYCLIC
meter got up to so miles. I never per-
NIT myself to ride more than that in
day."-Truth.
"A new and interesting light is shed
on the disputed authorship Of the Ho-
meric poems by the delightful answer
given by schoolboy in recent exam
nation, and quoted In the Daily News:
at is said that writing was not invented
when Homer composed his poems. he
must, therefore, have lived a good deal
later."-London Tablet.
-Lawyer-"Now, Mr.. Thrift, de-
scribe to the court the chickens that
you charged my client, the defendant,
with stealing" Farmer Thrift goes into
the details, but is interrupted by the
lawyer, who exclaims: II have some
chickens like those myself" Farmer
Thrift (resuming)-"The chickens he
took are not the only ones I have had
stolen!"-N. Y. Herald
Am old Scotchwoman was dying.
The storm was raging without. the wind
was bowling and the rain dashing
against the window panes. They were
gathered around her bed. II maun dee,
doctor maun dee" "Ay, ay, I'm
miclxle feart ye're gaun-" 'ssWeel, weel.
the Lords viii be done. But it's an
awful NIGHT to be gaun skirlin' through
the clouds. Spare Moments.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06

A method of depressing the splitting
habit, against which they are now maks
ing crusade in Baltimore, is suggested
by q Baltimore woman. This is her
plan: whenever male passenger on
. street car begins to expectorate let
every woman aboard just look steadily
at him. There need be no especial
severity expressed by the look, nor an
excess Of indignation or rebuke. for too
much feeling shown in q glance, if the
guilty fellow were inclined to be coarse,
might subject one to an insulting re-
mark. But each female face should
wear q well-bred air of offended der
icacy and surprise. There is not a wona-
an out Of ten in this city, will venture
to assert, who will not understand how
to express all these emotions in single
look and not overdo TN. Y. World.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06

The "telescriptor" is the name given
10 recent invention, for which is
claimed the power of transcribing mes
sages sent over line, the object of the
invention being to furnish expeditions
ly permanent record of such messages
as are ordinarily sent by phone. 1t Is
claimed that the scheme can be applied
to existing telephone systems, SO that,
for example, a correspondent in New
York wishing to communicate with his
Philadelphia Office would simply call
up the Philadelphia end on the phone,
then, by switching the circuit over on
to the sending apparatus, which is de-
scribed as being in the form of type
writer, and operated in the same man
ner, he writes out his message, which
is printed at the Philadelphia end. The
specific advantages claimed are that the
message is furnished in permanent
form, and communication is much more
expeditions than by telegraph, since II
is direct, there being no delivery at Z
central Office and subsequent handling
by messenger boys St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06
A VOLCANIC WONDER.
The Largest District of This Sort Lo
Gated in the Northwest

The Largest District OF This Sort bo-
Gated in tho Northwest.
The entire absence of easily-reccg-
nized volcanic craters in the eastern
Part of the United States has tended to
create the impression that in volcanoes
this country is below the average. But
to dispel this notion it is only necessary
to make trip through the northwest.
In Washington, Oregon, California, Ne
vada and Idaho is the largest volcanic
district in the world. The Lassen peak
volcanic ridges, the most general fea-
ture in the district, resulted chiefly from
superficial accommodations of material
thrown out from within the earth and
piled up in mountain masses about
the point of exit. From the summit
of Lassen peak, looking northeast, q
dark and desolate lava field and crater
are pointed out as the SENDER Cone
This may be comfortably reached ON
horseback, but camping outfit is rec
essary, as there is no settlement near
the place.
Approaching the region the travelef
first encounters q sprinkling of the
fine volcanic sand and small bits of dark
brown pumice spread on the ground.
This increases as he goes, until the
sand gives character to the whole land
scape, imparting dull dark blue to
the soft earth, and rendering travel
difficult. When first seen on nearer
view, Cinder cone gives the impression
Of newness. One looks in vain for steam
rising from the crater, and feels disap-
pointed at seeing none
Charred trunks of trees attest the
great heat of the place in recent times,
but one cannot find on the living trees
a trace of volcanic sand that might
have lodged in knot holes as it fell. The
dull, somber aspect of the slopes is
greatly relieved on the southeast side
by the carmine and orange-colored
Lapilli, so that from distance it has
the pleasing hues of a sunset.
The strangeness of the scene is great
ly enhanced by the almost complete alb
sence of vegetation Only two small
bushes cling upon the outer slopes to
give life to the barren conc. No white
man or Indian now living is known to
have been an eye witness to the erup-
ton, and it must be remembered that
such an eruption would not leave the
people Of that region in doubt as to what
was happening.
A number of persons now living in
the Sacramento valley, who crossed the
emigrant trail at the base of the cone
in 1853. say that tho lonely bushes
growing near the summit were APP
parently as large as now. Whatever
may be the historical testimony as 70
the time of the eruption, the geologic
evidence clearly shows it before the be.
ginning Of this century.-N. Y. Jour
ual,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06
THE BANK MYSTERY.

I've come, judge, to ask if you'll let
me tell you what no one on earth don't
know but me; bout that bank mys-
terry.
"Yes, thank you, will sit down. A
fire feels good on a night like this.
'Tain't often such as have chance at
this kind of comfort and luxury.
"What do know about the bank
mystery? Land sakes, judge, time
they opened the bank that day ten
years ago and found the bank vault
broke into and the safe blowed up and
not dollar gone, could have told it all.
The people of Tiverton amt done talk
ing and wondering bout it yet, and
there amt never been no one livin' as
could tell what it all meant but me.
II brought some papers-here they
are, judge-where it's all written down
and can swear to it if you like. Idon't
want them never used, though, unless
] die and something comes up as would
make it best for my family to know,
though there's things in it I'd ruther
die than have 'em know. If it's all the
came to you, judge, I'd like to tell it to
you. Seems like I'd get rid of load and
would be happier and die easier feelin'
I'd spoken it out to one livin' human.
"You'll be glad to listen? That's
good of you. / knowed you was kind
man and a just one; that's why come
to you. No, thank you, l don't smoke;
I put all that money away for me wife
and children.
do you hear that storm? Outside
seems like the evil powers was let
loose. You can't Judge bout ii here. It
comes kind of muffied like through
those thick curtains and it don't shake
this house like it does some.
"It's this kind of night as makes men
huddle together, judge, and plan how to
get rich and have fine things such as the
likes of you. I've been through it all;
I know. I've felt as if / had as good a
right to 'em as anyone, and Twas bodnd
to have 'em, too. / warn't brought up
70 no trade nor nothin', and fair means
ecemin' to fail, / took to the other.
"Yes, judge, 1 started out in life a
thSef and robber. prospered fairly
In . small way and mo one didn't catchup
with me for some time. Then joined a
gang in for anything. Oh, but it was
fascinating! 1t was like drink; ]
couldn't give it up and couldn't get
enough of it. was in prison and out
then, the old story, till married and
begun to have little ones.
Then, Lord knows what helped me
something did-and for the sake of
my wife and children I broke loose
from everything and came here. where
no one didn't know me, to start over
again. had some money and opened
the restaurant just opposite the bank.
sLong as l didn't read the papers
cot ON well; but let me see them and
I'd hunt through 'em for robberies
and I'd be crazy for awhile. aching to be
y 4 al again. Seem bout my old pals
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06
STRIKING A BALANCE.

The Old Colored Man Came Very N.>-
Making a Center shot.
A government official, now in recent
OF the princely salary of 800 month.
and glad to get it, has seen better DAYS.
and the time was when he came over to
Washington from his ancestral acres in
Virginia and blew in in a night more
money than he gets now in month.
A Star man met him on the street the
other Sunday afternoon, Just as he
parted company with an old colored
man, and he was smiling.
Been hearing some good news from
the old folks at home?" inquired the re-
porter.
Not news, exactly" was the reply.
but an echo from the other days."
1T must have been pleasant, to Judge
from your SMILE"
1T wasn't, in the abstract, but in the
way the old chap presented it it was
rather funny, and 1 was smiling at il.
That old fellow" he continued, "was a
free niger in the times before the
freedom of his race, and he was held in
much respect by all who knew him, I'M
less it was the 'ornery niggers' and the
poor white trash. He was very uoor.
and looked to be as old 40 years ago as
he does now, as SO many darkies do.
Many times have given him money to
buy a meal with, and had done the
same thing when you came up, though
he realizes perfectly that my condition
Is not greatly better than his, except al
to immediate income.
Deed, colonel, he was saying, hit
amt like it wuz in de OF times in OF
verginny. Use teilin' you.'
"'Well, hardly, Uncle Ezry,' Il replied,
feeling sorry that l could only spare q
dime
"'Hit's mighty dif'ernt wild some oh
us, dough, sub, in de 'p'intments OBJ de
Lawd. Now, sub, dar's you an Mas
Ciaibe, an Mis- Ellen, an Mas John.
sub, you all commenced wild lots, sub.
an now you hahn got muffin, sub, an
Use been holdin' my own, sub, right
along fun dat day to dis"
"Um," cogitated the reporter, lit 10
rather amusing to way the old man puts
it, but there's nothing very funny in the
principle involved. Washington Star.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06

particular channel. In the voyage of life
there are many perilous places where we
need the help Of a pilot who has thorough
knowledge Of the special difficulties and
dangers to be avoided.
In those delicate physical weaknesses and
diseases peculiar to women general prac-
titioner or ordinary doctor has no emporium.
lily to become thoroughly proficient. Still
less to be trusted II the advice Of any mere
nurse or unscienti6c person.
Only . specialist who has given life Of
study to this particular field Of practice, =
intricate and complicated organism.
Any woman suffering from these delicate
troubles may obtain the most eminent pro-
fessioual advice free Of charge BY writing
20 Oh. r. v. Pierce, chief consulting physi-
clan of the Iuvalids' Hotel and Surgical In
stitute, of Buffalo, N. Y. During nearly 50
years. at the head of his splendid stan OF
specialists, he has successfully treated many
thousands of cases of obstinate feminine
complaints.
His "Favorite Prescription was devised
for the sole purpose Of curing the diseases
and weaknesses of the feminine organa.
No other medicine has been 30 marvelously
successful ID this particular field of prac-
tice. No other medicine 90 completely
overcomes all the dangers and nearly all
the pains of motherhood.
ut Il With ple1yhre recommend DR.. Pierce's
Esvorite Prescriptions to suffering ladies" writes
Nh J; Feryusen, Box p pouslas Station: : 81;
torture; thank GOD found relief ana and cure i
Or. Pierce's Favofite Prescription"
The greatest book for women ever pub
lished Il Dr. Pierce's thousand-page Illus.
trated Common Sense Medical Adviser"
sent free In paper covers for cost Of mailing
only, ~ oue-cent stamps; cloth bound -
stamps. Address DR.. Pierce - above.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06
THE BEST KING.

You may talk of the pleasure OF hiling
throne,
And ruling a nation whose homage Is
shown,
And owning a palace with millions OF pelf,
And nothing to do but enjoying yourself.
You may envy the few who are doing these
things.
And wish you were born to be one of the
kings
But II you will only look into my door
I'll show you q king who has happiness
more.
When days work is over. with wings on my
feet,
fly to my humble home palace 50 sweet
and pause on its threshold moment to see
The windows illumined with brightness for
me.
And then when enter. my subjects. who
show
More love and affection than real kings
know,
All vie with the other in giving me there
A welcome that's royal and joyful to share.
NY beautiful queen with the prince in her
arms,
Both decked for my coming and glowing
with charms,
Salute me as II returned from a war
Though 'good-by" was said a few hours
before.
Ny brave heir apparent. too big to be held.
And with true boys growing ardor i'm
PEELED.
Extends me greeting Withdrawing its
No king but myself on Homecoming en-
joys.
My two little princesses modest and sweet
And miniature models of mother complete,
Enchantingiy slip their soft fingers In mine
And lead me. SO willing. right into my
Then doflins my coat-robe and derby hat
To "a dinner that's at for a king" I sit
down,
And asking q blessing-which kings never
do
A banquet have-and an appetite, too.
euch cooking-all home-made-pies, pud-
dings and cakes,
Which only queen like my own ever
makes,
So dainty. SO wholesome. so good, every
thing :
The feast enjoy is unknown to a king.
And after the banquet. in slippers and
In my easy chair throne sit costly down
And listen to music and song from my
Much sweeter. think. than a palace has
seen.
Then after my subjects. so loyal with love,
Are sent by the sandman to -dreamland
above.
My queen and her king settle down to en-
Joy
The quiet of home-which no mob will de-
stroy.
A6a,rs ~ Tho sfata uovor xrorrv no fbera.
No treason we fear and no dangers we dare;
With papers and books and sweet con-
verse we find
Companionship rare of the spirit and mind.
With conscience serene can sleep on my
bed
Without any guard to keep watch on my
head,
And rise in the morning to lovingly reign
Ger my little home kingdom Of dear ones
again.
III. C. Dodge. in Chicago Sun.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06

Against disease, one which enable US to uns
dergo unscathed risks from hurtful climatic
influences, exposure, overwork and fatigue,
Is the vigor that Is impaired to debilitated
physique by the peerless medicinal sale
guard, Hostetter's Stomach Bitters.. You
may possess this vigor In higher degrees
than the trained athlete, although your mus
cular development may be far inferior to
his. Vigor Implies sound, good digestion
and sound repose, two blessings conferred
by the Bitters, which remedies malarial,
rheumatic, nervous and kidney trouble
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-03-06

Authorize got scene in this play
that will catch the audience great
Manager-What is it?
"It's where the leading man carves I
real turkey in full view of everybody.
II don't see anything funny about
that"
ayes; out he don't know a thing
about carving."-Buffalo Times