Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-11-04
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sT can't see why you object to young
Softly. I'm sure he Is constant"
ssworse than that. He Is perpetual"
She-Did you see anything in New
York that reminded you OF Philadei-
phia? He-Yes; the messenger boys
Exchange.
Author-I have dialect story I want
to sell you. Editor-In what dialect Is
It? Author-I don't know. Editor-fu
take it.-Truth.
Daughter-What will do, papa. out
there In the country without a riding
habit? Her papa-Get into the habit OF
walking, my dear.-Up to Date.
Ethel-Maud has been trying to learn
how to- ride bicycle for four weeks
now. Penelope--Is her instructor stu
pid? Ethel-No-hansOme.-Judge.
ParsOn-There is no victory, young
man, like the victory over self. Scorch-
er-Yes, l know. broke my ten-mile
record esterday.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The bashful one-Why do you girls
always kiss each other when you meet!
She-Because we wish to do unto each
other as we would that others should
do unto us.-Life.
us your sisters husband coming
down over Sunday" mo; it's too far"
TOO far! Why, the charm Of this place
Is its accessibility" Yes; but my sister
Is a widow."-Puck.
Father (at breakfast)-How did young
Snodgrass like my turning off the gas
at 8 o'clock last night? Daughter (sur-
prised)-Why, papa-I-he-we didn't
know that you did.-Puck.
Economical and wealthy father-Do
you know, my son, what strict economy
would do for you? Robert know
what 1t has done for me, father, and
respect you for it.-Harlem Life.
Mrs. Peck-If had my life to so over
again, wouldn't marry the best man
alive Mr.. II. Peck (his chance, at last
You bet you wouldn't. wouldn't ask
you to.-Philadelphia North American.
He-Isn't 1t disagreeable feature OF
golf, losing the ball so often2 She
Oh, no; that's the only way George and
/ could get ont of hearing Of the cad
die for an instant.-Yonkers Statesman.
II amt goin' out on a tandem with
dat Susie Mellon girl again, no, sah."
".whaffer% "Kase when her toes amt.
collidin' with the handle-bah, her heels
is plowin' cutters in de ground!'-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
THAT actor doesn't seem ut home In
his work." said the man who makes
comments. "No," replied the theatrical
manager, gloomily, "he isn't. But he
will be unless business gets better pref
ty soon."-Washington Star.
Gladys-Papas going to give us a
check at the wedding instead Of pres
ent, Tom. Tom-All right; We'll have
the ceremony at high noon instead of at
4 o'clock. Gladys-Why, what for.
dear? Tom-Banks close at 3.-Detroit
Free Press.
Major Bluegrass = When Governor
Jones said to Governor Smith that 1t
was "a long time between drinks" jest
how long do yo suppose he meant, sub?
Major Pepper-There is really no tellin'
of that, suh-any time is long time,
when 1t is between drinks, suh!-Puck.
Old gentleman lin omnibus, to young
man who has not vacated his seat to ac-
commodate a lady, severely)-When 1
was young, sir, l would have got up
and given the lady my seat. Young
man-Then, sir, am sorry to see that
you have lost your politeness with your
youth.-To-Day.
Sherlock Holmes tat burlesQue show
That little man over there in the box
is a professor Of automatically :-GuS
bebs-He is an acquaintanceaOf,YO ufse'
Sherlock Holmes-No; never saw him
before IN my life. DR.. Cubebs-Then
how do you know he Is a professional
mathematician? Sherlock Holmes 77By.
the interest he takes in the figures on
the stage.-Chicago Newss,, w n
h
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