davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
ABE BLINkER'S TALK.
1t Was Long Distance Affair, and 1t Sur.
prised Him.

1t Was Long Distance Affair, and 1t Sur
prised Him.
Old Abe Blinker had just run down
from Scrabbleton to do little trading
Half doubling and half believing, he edged
his way into long distance telephone
office and asked If it was fact that he
could talk with his brother, Chicago
merchant. After a very brief converse
ton the connection was made and Abe
was yelling as though calling cattle half a
mile away
"Just hoist the window" said wait
Ing customer. He can talk to Chicago
without the aid of wire I'm In hurry"
"Use the same tone as though your
brother were sitting right here beside
you, whispered the manager
"Say, Hi" shouted Abe, "are you to
hump In TIL store, hey? Don't it beat
cat fighting Knowed yer voice soon's |
heerd it. How's tn folksY They hain't
nuthin better'n blackberry brandy fur
that Say, Hi, member that boss you
rode las summer Yes tn big rangey bay
with crooked tail Dead an buried in
cyclone. Course. Allus did hev hard luck.
later bugs, army worms, foot rot, rain,
frost, wind an cheap prices. Durn near
cleaned out Got ter hev change, Hi.
Say, H. Susie an Josh Is goin ter be mar
ried Thanksgivin. You bet. He's got
two forties all clear, good buildin's an
plenty o. stock. Say, Hi, tell Ruth moth
er is a-waitin fur that prescription O. hern
ter make catchup- Got ter go, heyY l
could talk fur hour yit Don't furgit
bout tn catchup, Hi.
'Nough ter skeer person., declared
Abe as he dropped the receiver. "Feel's
though I'd been 'sociatin with ghosts But
I'm much obleeged jist TIL same.'
"But you owe us IS, sir -
"Bunkoed, b'gosh' shrieked Abe
That Teller what steered me in here didn't
say nuthin bout pay. How in thunder
kin settle when I've only got half dol
lar?'
You'll have to remain here till it's
fixed, announced the manager as he
hastily rang up Chicago and asked for Mr..
Blinker After explaining matters to that
gentleman the official turned with laugh
to Abe and told him that everything was
satisfactory.
II knowed you couldn't come none O.
yer funny bus ness with Hi. Durn curi'us
a ole Teller like med step inter this kinder
trap Hadn't been fur HI I'd had tn
whole doggone p'lice force down here, an
I'd been better'n raw han myself hslpin
ter clean out tn place. New York Sun-
day World.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

happiness all her own. Hers is ioy
that cannot be told. 1t is peculiar to
motherhood. The responsibility for the
soft little, sweet little, dependant creature
as much part of herself as her own
heart - brings pleasure that may be
equaled in Heaven, but never on earth.
The greatest thing that can be done in
this world is to bear and rear healthy,
happy children. Many women do not do
lido not reach the full measure of beau
tiful, perfect womanhood, because of the
neglect of the health of the organs dis
tinctly feminine.
Every woman may be perfectly healthy
II she chooses. She need not submit to
the hu1niliating examinations and local
treatment of physicians. She need have
no trouble and slight expense. Doctor
Pierce's Favorite Prescription will cure
any disease or disorder peculiar to women.
1t is the invention of regularly gradu-
ted, skilled, expert, successful specialist.
1t has been sold for over 80 years, and has
greater sale than all similar medicines
combined. 1t regulates every feminine
lunction-lnakes woman better able to
bear children--better able to take care of
her children. 1t greatly lessons the pain
and danger of parturition. No honest
druggist will offer you ubstitute-look
out for the one who does.
Unsightly pimples Constipation causes them.
Dr. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets cure constipation.
They cure permanently They are tiny, sugar
tive, two mild cathartic, Sometimes druggists
think of their profits, rather than your health,
and offer something, said to be "just as good"
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
FREE TO EVERY MAN.
THE METHOD OF A GREAT
TREATMENT FOR WEAK
NESS OF MEN.
WHICH CURED HIM AFTER Ey-
ERYThING ELSE FAILED.

Painful diseases are bad enough, but when
| man is slowly wasting away with nervous
weakness, the mental forebodings are ten
times worse than the most severe pain. There
Is no let up to the mental suffering day or
night Sleep is almost impossible and under
such strain men are scarcely responsible for
what they do. For years the writer rolled
and tossed on the troubled sea of sexual weak
ness until it was a question whether he had
not better take a dose of poison and thus end
all his troubles. But providential inspiration
came to his aid In the shape of combination
OF medicines that not only completely re-
stored the general health, but enlarged his
weak, emaciated parts to natural size and
vigor, and he now declares that any man who
will take the trouble to send his name and
address may have the method of this wonder
full treatment free. Now when say free |
mean absolutely without cost because l want
every weakened man to get the benefit of my
experience.
am not philanthropist, nor do l pose as
an enthusiast, but there are thousands of men
suffering the mental tortures of weakened
manhood who would be cured at once could
they but get such remedy as the one that
cured me. Do not try to study out how can
afford to pay the few postage. stamps neces-
sary to mail the information, but send for it,
and learn that there are few things on earth
that although they cost nothing to get they
are worth O fOTtune to some men and mean
lifetime of happim IS to most of us. Write to
Thomas Slater, Box sos, kalamazoo, Mich,
and the information will be mailed in a plain
sealed envelope.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
smiles IrradIate the Countenance.

When those atrocious bodily troubles,
chills and fever, dyspepsia, kidney or
rheumatic disorders, yield, as they in.
variably 90, to the benign action of
Hostetter's Stomach bitters, a remedy of
comprehensive use, pure in composition,
unobjectionable to e delicate palate, and
thorough in its effects. Sick headache, loss
of appetite, flesh and sleep, nausea, heart
burn, are among the physical annoyances
obyiated by the Bitters. They are in the
nature of signals of distress displayed by
a dlsordered stomach, liver and bowels,
and disappear with the cause that pro-
duced them. But these signals should be
needed at once. Then the woe begone
look of chronic ill health will speedily
disappear, and vigor and comfort restore
a cheerful aspect to the face. That faith
full index to the condition of the system
never fails to wear look of sunshine
when the Bitters is used to dispel the
cloud.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

Many merchants are we'll aware that
their customers are their best friends and
take pleasure in supplying them with the
best goods obtalnable. As an instance
we mention Perry q Cameron, prominent
druggists of Flushing, Mich. They say:
"We have no hesitation in recommending
Chamberlain's Cough Remedy to our Gus
TONERS, as it is the best cough medicine
we have ever sold, and always gives sat-
isfaction." For sale at Is and so cents
per bottle by all druggists.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Animal Eaeta,

The wolf is more cunning than the fox
The elephant is almost as amphibious
as the hippopotamus.
Wild birds do not sing more than eight
or ten weeks in the year.
The common house sparrow flies at the
rate of 80 miles per hour.
Naturalists who have investigated the
matter say that bats heart is aided by
the rhythmic contraction of vein in the
wings.
The leopard is the most meanly treach-
erous Of all beasts, and the trainer never
turns his back on one if he can possibly
avoid 30 doing.
Reaumur says that each thread of what
we call a spider web is composed Of
about 5000 separate fibers, and that it
would take 27,64s full grown spiders a
year to spin pound of such silk.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
The Winning Play.

She was clad in furs and laces.
He was dirt from head to heel.
She was full Of airs and graces.
He was full of naught but zeal.
He wore neither shirt nor collar.
She was in a clubhouse" box.
In his pocket-not dollar.
Hers were triple lined with Crooks"
She was cool and calm, collected.
He was boiling Ger with vim.
She was petted and protected.
Everybody jumped on him.
Yet his very mutilation
Made her almost love the man,
And she looked with admiration
At the way he caught and ran.
Then he kicked and sent the leather
Straight az arrow from the bow,
And she ceased to wonder whether
She should answer eyes, or emo"
She'd resisted gold and kisses,
But the cheers that rose to heaven
Made her wish that she were Mrs.
Fullback Of the crack eleven.
IL. D. Wildman in Truth.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
What He Needed.

The physician pondered tho case for a
few minutes before he ventured an opinion.
II think your husband needs rest more
than anything else, !" he said at last. of
he could be convinced Of that
But he refuses absolutely 10 listen to
me, Doctor"
"Well, " returned the physician thought
fully, that's a move in the right direc-
ton. Chicago Post.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
About Flowers.

Madake, Japanese species of bamboo
grows to a height Of 40 feet.
The flower stalk of the Adams needle
bears from 200 to 400 flowers in season.
The kernel of the snake nut, a Brazilian
oddity, looks exactly like coiled serpent.
Every head of red clover consists of
about go flower tubes, each of which con-
tains an infinitesimal quantity of honey.
A curious shaped plant growing in
Arizona and other desert rigions of the
great southwest is called Our Lords
cRndle.Htick.
The leading botanists Of the world are
unanimous in the opinion that plants
grow faster between and o'clock a. m.
than at any other time.
Bishop Culver, in his pamphlet entitled
A Million Pounds Sterling For Black
Flower, says that no perfectly black
flower has ever been produced.
Seven hundred and sixty-two different
kinds of plents have been found within
the arctic circle. Ninety five per cent of
them are pale or absolutely colorless.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
A Noble Soul.

"No, SIR" said the president Of the
trust; "if we cannot succeed by Legitimate
methods, I, for one, prefer to fail. Lei US
do nothing dishonorahls
But this man stands ip the way Of the
entire enterprise. He via neither sell HIS
plant nor sign the agreement, urged the
suave promoter.
"Be that as 1t may" insisted the great
man whom the evil genius Of the age had
not yet corrupted, II can never sanction
the plan you suggest Freeze him out II
you can, boycott everybody who has any
thing to do with him, hire his men to
strike and notify the railroad companies
that they can't carry our goods If they
carry his, but shall mover oountenance
the proposition to blow up his buildings"
Detroit News.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Ar. You Going to Californian

The Santa Fe Route has just placed on
sale tickets to southern California and
return at a rate of $500, to San Fran
cisco and return $66.90, tickets good to
return at any time within six months
from date of issue, stop-over privileges
allowed at any point en- route. Pullman
palace and tourist sleepers running
through without change. For particulars
call on or address any agent of the Santa
Fe Route. Fl. s. LuTz, Agent,
GRO. T. NICHOLSON, Santa Fe, N. M.
G. P. A., Chicago, Ill.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

For pain in the chest piece Of ilan-
mel dampened with Chamberlain's Pain
Balm and bonnd on over the seat of the
pain, and another on the back between
the shoulders, will afford prompt relief
This is especially valuable in cases where
the pain is caused by cold and there is
n tendency toward pneumonia. For sale
by all druggists.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

A clergyman in an eastern town warned
his hearers lately ssnot to walk In q slip
perry path last they be sucked, maelstrom-
like, into Its meshes. This metaphor
suggests that Of another Clergyman who
prayed s'thau tho word might s. q nail
driven In : sure place, sending ~ roots
1swnwaRA end ~ hysuchss UPWARD.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Too Well Ordered.

Greene--They tell me you have got u
wonder for WIFE You have we'll Or
dered house, they say.
Gray-Yes; Clara Is forever ordering
somebody around. When it isn't the girl
or the dog, it's your humble servant. Oh,
yes, our house iswell ordered, and no mis-
take Boston Transcript.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Washed His Heart.

A 12-year-old boy at Parma has just had
his heart washed. He was suffering from
acute pericarditis, and his doctor, using
an instrument invented by Professor Riva,
drew off the purulent Serious matter in the
sac and then washed the heart and its
serofbrous covering with solution Of BIZ
borate of soda. The boy recovered rapidly.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Trying Him.

Mrs Neutrality-suspicious. we were married
you often wished there was some brave
deed you could do for me TO show your
love.
Mr.. McBride-Yes, dear, and I would
do it now.
Mrs MoBride-Then, love, go down in
to the kitchen and discharge Bridget -
Boston Courier.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
The Social Lion,

He thinks he's q social lion,
And he has not even dim
Suspicion of what is the fact-that they
Are making monkey out of him.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
This Il Your Opportunity.

On receipt Of ten cents, cash or stamps
. generous sample will be mailed Of the
most popular Catarrh md Hay Fever Cure
(Elys Cream Baln) sufficient to demon
strate the great merits Of tse remedy.
ELY BROTHERS,
Sc Warren st., Few York City.
: Rev. John Reid, Jr., OF Great Falls, Mont,
recommended Ely's Cream Balm to me. l
can emphasize his statement, ut is posi-
tive cure for catarrh If used as directed. -
Rev. Francis w. Poole, Pastor Central PreA
Church, Helena, Mont.
y, Ely's Cream Balm 10 the acknowledged
cure for catarrh and contains no mercury
por any injurious drug. Price. 50 cents.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Fate Of the Grovler.

Help!
The canful Of beeer shrieked az it was
being carried away by the four tramps.
am to be-
The men needed not its cries.
Drawn and quartered!
It was too true. There were four men
to one small growler.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Not For Nothing.

"What we purpose to do away WITH"
said the reformer, sis the practice Of al
lowing corporations to get valuable fran
chises for nothing"
~ didn't know they ever did, said the
civic statesman IN astonishment. Indian
apolis Journal
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
It Sounded Queer.

Dearest, If I were far, far away, could
you still love me?''
"Why, Reggy, what question! I'm
sure the farther you were away the better
! should love you. boston Traveller.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
The Colorado midland RaiIroad

Reaches the grandest scenery in the
world, Ute Pass, Pixies Peak, Hagerman
Pass and He'll Gate; many beautiful sum-
mer resorts; the most famous mining
camps, Cripple Greek, Leadvllle, Victor
and Aspen. 1t is the short and direct
route to the fruit lands of the Grand val
ley, the Great Salt Lake and the "Golden
Gate" Through Pullman sleepers and
chair cars on all trains.
W. F. BAILEY,
Gen'l Pass. Agent, Denver Colo.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Then Trouble Began.

Mr.-What would you do If should
die and leave you?
Mrs, --Leave me how muchf-Indian-
apolis Journal
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

are you baldf Is your clothing con-
stantly covered with dandruff-flthy
animal matter falling from diseased
scalpH Does your head ltchf Is it in
Tested with sores and scahsS Is your
hair growing thinner year by year, Is
it dry and brittlef If SO, you have a
parasitic disease of the scalp, which you
are neglecting at great risk. Danderlne
will cure you quickly and permanently.
Money refunded in case Of failure. For
sale at Fischer q Co.'s. Pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Gross UnkinIlness.

He-So you reject my proffered hand,
cruel girl9 I have nothing more to live
for.
She--Oh, don't know. The bars do
not close for half an hour yet-Cincinnati
ENQUIRER.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

"Miss Yam ISM at all musical.
"How do you know"
II offered to sing Oh, Promise Mel last
night, and she said she'd promise anything
If I wouldn't" - Philadelphia North
American,
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Not a few who read what Mr.. Rober

Not few who read what Mr.. Robert
Rowls, of Holland, Va, has to say below,
will remember their own experience
under like circumstances: "Last winter
I had la grippe which left me in low
state of health. l tried numerous rem
edies, none of which did me any good,
until was induced to try bottle Of
yhamberlain's Cough Remedy. The first
bottle of it go far relieved me that was
enabled to attend to my work, and the
second bottle effected cure" For sale
at IS and SO cents per bottle by all
druggists.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Tha WAY I'M Snnin.

How did we come to lose so many men
in that last engagement! asked the
Spanish general, looking up from his
paper.
By typographical error, sir, replied
the press censor, bowling low.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Argument Not Necessary.

Say, pa, said Johnny, jist heard Mrs.
Billings tell Mr.. Billings that ma was the
Here, said Johnny's pa, is quarter.
Never let your mother know about this.
1t would be terrible shock to her. Now
run away and play like nice little boy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

Roses discovered In tombs containing
Egyptian mummiss often have their
colors perfect, even though some of those
thus found must be over 5000 years old.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

Thousands have been CURED from bald
ness and other diseases of the scalp by
Danderine. 1t will cure you. Guaranteed.
Forsale at Fischer's q Co.'S. Pharmacy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

BALD HEADS, see Danderine, the
most wonderful discovery of modern
times. For sale at Fischer 4 Cos. Phar-
macy.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29

The question is whether there is no law
to compel these misguided women to col d
back. have consulted q barrister frien'
and he saye there would have been If w
had not shown consent III seeing them Off
We men hare all four met and have calcu-
lated that tl'ey can hold out till Christmas,
for their jewelry will fetch at least $500.
Eheu! What sickening world 1t Isl I
shall 60 down to Cardiff tomorrow
Moonshine
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
suNBEAMs.
MY Ladie Eaire.

My ladie faire is like rose
The figures not new one;
And we'll the modern gallant knows
1t really is true one.
For what with suppers, dances, shows,
In which he dare not stint her,
His ladie faire is like rose
She costs heap IN winter.
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
Illustrated
Special Edition
New Mexican

Now on sale. Seizure a
copy and send it to your
friend at the east. Price 10
cents; ready for mailing II
cents. ljs
Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-01-29
A Girl at the Theater.

A Girl Mt the TheateP.
She seems no marvle, strangely wise;
Yet che can scarce be less than that
If her dear intellect in size
Ia in proportion to her hat.
The Globe-republican., 1897-07-01

To prepare scalloped asparagus:
Wash the asparagus and cut the ten
der part in two-inch lengths, and boil
them in sailed water for ten minutes
Boil four eggs hard and chop them
fine. Butter an earthen dish and put
q layer Of asparagus in the bottom.
Scatter some of the egg over it and
season with salt and pepper. Repeat
until the dish is filed, having for the
last layer the vegetable. Make a sauce
of two tablespoonfuls of butter and the
same Of flour. When this is cooked
gradually stir in two cups of milk, and
cook until it thickens. Season with a
dash of cayenne. and pour it over the
asparagus; cover the top with
a layer of bread crumbs, and sprinkle
grated cheese on top. Bake in a hot
oven from ten to fifteen minutes. An
attractive way to serve asparagus for
a course luncheon is In bread patties.
Cut the bread in slices an inch and q
half thick. With large biscuit cutter
cut the slices into circles and, using q
smaller cutter, take out the inside fol-
q little more than half way through.
Dip these cases into boiling lard to
color them q delicate brown. and place
them where they will keep hot. Cut
the head from the asparagus and cook
them In sailed boiling water fifteen
minutes. Drain them and pile them in
the bread patties. Pour over the as
paragu3 q cream sauce.
The Globe-republican., 1897-07-01
The Motor Bicycle.

The motor bicycle is being pushed by
it's manufacturers, especially In Eng
land. but whether it will become popu-
lar and general is a matter for the fu-
ture to reveal. 1t never can become SO
among those who use the wheel for ex-
ercise and from love of sport. 1t is too
much like mounting the wooden horse
of a modern merry-go-round instead
of real and spirited animal, but there
is a large class of would be riders to
whom the motor wheel offers much en-
joyment These are the women who
love the great out-of-doors, but find
their strength unequal to the effort OF
pushing a wheel through long dis
tances, especially uphill. 1t Is, OF
course, more sport-like than staying in
a carriage dragged about by a pony.
and that unexciting and specific pleas
ure has given delight for centuries;
and so, although the motor bicycle may
receive the ridicule of the strong and
vigorous sportswoman, it still merits
the consideration of the weaker wOm-
an. The bicycle form is preferable to
the tricycle., although the latter can be
mounted and ridden without learning
the difficult process of balance, but it
is far less serviceable for general use.
On the asphalt street, of course, every
thing is serene, but If there are sharp
turns to be made or unevenness in the
road which elevate one wheel much
above the other overturning is an easy
thing. for the new tricycles have the
twin wheels placed only few inches
American,