The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1897-04-15
The Morning paper OF the Future.

ing:
"After the paper has been cut to pattern,
the different parts are sewed together aud
hemmed, and the places where the button
holes are to be formed are strengthened
with calico or linen. The stuff is very strong
and at the same time very flexible. After
garment has been worn few hours it will in
terfere with the Transportation of the body no
more than do garments made of fabric. The
stuff is not sized, nor is it impermeable. After
becoming wet, the paper is difficult to tear.
When an endeavor is made to tear it by hand
it presents almost as much resistance as the
thin skin used for making gloves.
This tip from Japan will undoubtedly lie
promptly availed of by Rhode Island news
paper publishers. The plan they will fol-
low can be briefly stated. The publishers
will lay in stock of Japanese ready-made
paper undershirts of assorted sizes. These
undershrts the pressman will place on the
feed board of his press exactly as he now
places the virgin sheets which he has been
accustomed to receive from New England
paper mills AT precisely twelvet thirty every
hight the printing of the inside of the morn
ing shirt-we mean the morning edition of
the newspaper will be commenced AT two
thirty the paper-we mean the halfpublished
shirts will be turned inside out, and all the
| printed on the outside. The local and most
important telegraph news will be printed
| upon that portion of the paper correspond
| ing with what is now the facade of the under
| shirt. The telegraphic ''scare heads will
| run along just under the neck band. The To-
cal items can be scattered conveniently over
the body of the garment, just over the heart
and lungs and portion of the spleen. High
priced advertisements will be cuddled in be-
tween the most entertaining articles. Low
priced advertisements and prefunctory read
ing notices will find insertions in and upon
the arms and along the lower rim of the gar
ments.
The advantages that the reading public
will derive from this style of newspaper are
as obvious as they are many. For example:
the newsboys will deliver their morning edi-
tons while the subscribers are still asleep.
When it is time for the subscriber to get up,
he finds, instead of meaningless wooden or
gauze garment with nothing to break its
blank surface, instead, indeed. of news
paper of the old type which he must hold in
both hands for reading purposes-he finds
awaiting him Japanese combination news
paper under shirt of the fashion of which we
sing. Having no time to lose-for time is
very precious to intelligent, news loving men
in the early morning-the subscsiber draws
his well-htting morning newspaper over his
head, and, having buttoned it, proceeds to
shave and comb his hair before the bedroom
mirror. While thus engaged with his hands
his eyes would be busy reading the latest in
teiligence from all over the world, as it is re-
fected in the mirror before him from the
printed shirt upon him. BY changing his
attitudes the reader could easily finish one
side of the paper before he is half ready for
another move. 1t would then be but mo-
and put it on again, and presto, 10! he has
before his glance the editorials, the deaths
and the marriages, war-college gossip,
smokeless powder Improvements, notices of
cheap plays at the Opera House, the latest
thing in safety bikes, and the clearance sales
for the day. These he can polish off during
the moments that precede the donning of his
more outer garments-the commercial names
of which are not necessary to our present
purposes.
1t is likely that the fruition of this scheme
will brsng dismay to the publishers of after
noon papers. When man can buy a COM
bination morning paper and undershrt at
the price he formerly paid for morning pa
per alone, it is likely that he will pay the
same sum for an evening paper with no un-
dervest attachment? 1t is not. Common
sense, commendable thrift. family economy,
high taxes, all point to the fact that it is not.
Hence it will appear to the most casual and
flippant observer, should this Japanese born
materialize into practical working, that the
afternoon newspaper must go. Communities
will have no use for it, Even if the evening
papers are driven to printing their editions
on Japanese night-gowns, still, it can be pre-
dicted with some show of certainty that the
demand will not warrant their publication.
The morning papers will have SO great a
''bulge" on their evening rivals that such a
thing as competition will be practically out o.
| the question. The outlook, therefore, for
the morning newspaper has suddenly and un-
expectenly taken on more brilliant promise
for the future. AS the surface of mans
subscribers structure is limited
as to space lit can readily be..seen that patrons
ofthe new departure in morning newspapers
should lose no time in securing good expos
urers for their advertisements. This can only
be achieved by being prompt. First come
first served, will be the motto. Best pay
best display, will be the rule Newport
R. l. Herald.
The old chestnut that person is as
| safe in front of woman as behind her
lxryI,o CHI