The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-09
THE COUNTRY EDITORS aFEED.n

lee 20 u MIX GDITOR'S SsE Fed"
The editor of the Norton Champion.
Mr.. Conway, is quite the most original
writer in western Kansas. Nothing can
equal his description of the banquet of
the Kansas editors at Kansas City in
which the naivete of the country editor
is seen in all its glory. and is worthy of
being reproduced in newspapers all
over the country as an application of
riotous and vivid imagination more or
less unrestrained to incidents that may
be considered commonplace to those
more familiar with them. Mr.. Conway's
wit and imagery make a most enter
tanning bit of reading out of the Kansas
City affair.
What was in sight?
The following menu was put out of
sight; the feat, unless explained, may
raise the doubt. Before we digest the
menu we must take the reader into our
confidence by informing him that many
I of the materials intended for our stom-
achs were barbarously cooked in
French, served in African and swallowed
in the lascivious murmurings of man
dolins. colored club sang to US
while we used our melodious voices in
the gutteral notes of eating.
Sixty colored walters served US in
military style at the command of the
bell, each waiter serving five persons,
and the evident delight of these serv-
itors was manifest through every pore
of their being.
Blue Points came first on the menu.
Brainerd of the Phillipsburg Herald and
Baker of the Norton Courier sat on
either side of us, neither of whom could
give points on the impending game in
any color-from blue to red. Brainerd
thought if they meant blue chips the
game was his. Egad! they were oysters
on the half shell merely.
The Courier claims that we have been
unjust to Mr.. Baker; we here do him
the honor to state that he did
the shells.
On each remote corner of the words
Blue Points, we saw celery" and
"Oives" printed; we also saw on each
remote corner of the table celery and
olives served-they never reached US.
The next perplexity was "Consomme
en- tasse, consum in tass, as the learn
ed Brainerd read it-but it came, a tea
colOred liquid served in teacup and sau-
Ger with teaspoon on the side. Mr. Ba-
ker was familiar with Young Hyson, or
uncolOred Japan, but this decoction put
him into the cOnsummay (accent on the
last syllable, please) a fact patent when
he ordered the colored waiter to furnish
him sugar and cream. Mrs. Noble Prem
tbs, who sat left of Brainerd, begged us
to indulge her with the salt and pepper.
both of which she literally sprinkled
into her cup. Mr.. Baker marveled at
her eccentric taste and wondered if she
would use in it mustard too. Presto it
was soupl soup in cup and saucer were
English deemed expressive enough to
Being familiar with grand opera it
was our cue to forecast the next on the
| list-"Lobster Patties NeWberG," a solo
from the husband of Adelina Patti of
NeWberg. One could easily mistake the
word Patties for the masculine form of
| the cOgnOmen Patti.
But it was biscuit into which a lob
ster claw cTawfished.
''Tenderloin of beef with mushrooms
| CaulifloWer." Easy.
Roman punch" came next. Being
/ three Kansas temperance lecturers we
4 counseled with Mr.. and Mrs. Noble
/ Prentis if it were not better to with
/ draw from the impending intoxicatiOn
or to turn our glasses upside down.
/ Mrs. P, as true guardian of our senti-
ments, advised US to face the danger
undismayed.
| It was ice cream favored with witch
| hazel.
Roast quail au Cresson. Sweet po-
! tato chips" next confronted US. The
| dubious French may be literally trans
| late, quail on toast"
Fresh tomato mayonnaise'-the last
word alone perplexing. We greatly rel
| ished the mayonnaise-but the fresh to-
matO was too fresh.
How do you like ''Pistachio ice cream.
| Gateaux assortis, fruit various?" all of
which elbowed their way down the
| overcrowded assembly room of our
| stomach, each stranger to the former
! company and showing marked signs of
| unSociability.
would here be wise to our nostrils
were these fingers pure after contact
| with this cousin French of 1imburger.
Toasted waf ars' were familiar in our
experiences as a guest at Pabst.
| Remember this was the dinner we
! ate at the Coates House, furnished by
the Commercial club. 1t took US to
1915 p. m. to finish that dinner.