The times., 1897-07-04

the star who, through ogling an empty
hous., smiles family or even disdainfuly
at the one nan and his dog occupying The
front seat? There are some things that
are a. well unsaid or undescribed, and this
is one them. A faint-smiIing, lean, hungry,
sour-spirited disgruntled scar is not pleas
ing sight 20 the eye. How sad, too, is this:
NO bigger than an unobserved star
Here S a Stage luminary who has not
risen To distinction; he has no glazing
sixteCn-Sheet to herald his coming, no
lithogIaph adorns the shop window the
press is una ware OF his existence-just
star in his own Imagination. Heis the only
one who knows he is capable Of rejecting
or shedding light, yet his yeaTning to be Oh
served may not equal his histIionic brill
fancy, wnen he does come into the full focus
of the public eve. There Is not in all the
world SC tomenting aspectacle aSan" "unob-
served star But the poets have otner
luminaries TO tell US OF:
Mild Us star in water
This is easy. l never saw star in
the surf, that he was not diguified, since
he is most always observed when there by
a oIowd OF gaping yokels For him 10 be
an nyUhibg else than mild, gentle, suave
would bc unwise and ungTaceful. Here,
then, is a verse OF which there is no CUES
tiou or doubt as TO its meaning. Hereafter
be Il known that all stars are mild in
water How beautiful is this:
He arose, ethereal, flushed like a throb-
bing star
Gould there be anything grander or
more sublime than an ethereal, flushed,
throbbing star? Here is pictured the stage
luu.inary filled to the brim with emotion,
his every nerve and muscle at the highest
tension, his eye flashing, and his whole
frame quiverng like a great ocean grey
hound under full head OF steam.
For long time the dramatic schools
retnaired unnoticed; but at last the bard
has sung Of them;
"Fining the skies with glittering stars. y
"Of course, the poet meant 10 say that
the dramatic schools We've filling the the
atrical sky with glitterng stars Who
some OF these stars are is not disclosed,
since the public does not take kindly Il
anything save sclf-made glisteners; but
this sort OF star don't glitter-it just
shines.
'Ihese siujles, metaphors and conpark
SONS would not he SO difficult to under
stand We're It not that the histrionic lu.
Ernary is almost entirely ignored 10y the
scientist 1t is little wonder, then, that
the poets histnonic references are al
ways ambiguous. The wise men Of Wash
ington have secretaries and departments OF
this and that, so why not have a secretary
Of Thespis, To preside over the department
of Hi-trionic Astronomy?
The Government, rich men and wist
| ones, have endowed with money and geniu,
| splendid UbseTyatories TO view the star:
in the heavens, yet they take not the least
notice OF the blazing comets, total eclipse,
| or the glimmering satellites of The uheat
! Tic firrnament! These several phcnonlen;
90 sailing through space, the wonder of tht
unwise and the delight Of the multituie
and yet no governmental cognizance il
| taken of them. The stars studtiing tn,
skies do not pay taxes, nor are they very
| amusing or entertaining; So it is, l think
unfair that they monopolize the patlona
eXchequeI
A living, breathing Venus in flesi
hngs is more interesting than a stella
one, shining dimly except On clear nights
and the beauteous, blazing, clustering Mar
OF The foUtlightS are more often the cyno
sure of all eyes than their namesake in tn
| mysterious heavenly collection of sparI
lers- Thus the stage luminary is left
| 10 shift for itself: no record of It's mas
| Is preserved, no cogniZance is taken o
| present grandeur, nor is there buildin
Yerkes telescope for future Observable,
| Il have q great mind to take q shl
into politics Ger the purpose Of rcmed yin!
some Of these things-now that politician
have taken ii upon themselves to legisIat.
| Tor everybody and everything I would no
be surprised to hear that a bill had beer
introduced in Congress changin the com
ing and going Of the tide, or that a fran
chisc had been granted for a right % wa
through the air. The only trouble L cal
see about establishing the Department j
Histrionic Astronomy is the possible col
flict over choosing a suitable person 70
the post
AS Dramatic critics can never agree ol
the brilliancy OF star or his or her statu
In the theatrical ether, it would he unwis
TO choose one OF these; 50 it would be jus
as well. l suppose, and rs q matter ,
economy, If the Secretary OF A gricliltm
be prevailed upon to accept the offer, S
that he might, when scattering garde
, seeds and Bohemian oats, cast his eye
heavenward and spy out budding an
bursting genius in the theatrical sky"
Needless to say, We indorse Mr Hopper
J suggestion, and If an Endorsement nigh
be given. there Is a ready candidate ;
hand Willie Hopper himself? Oh, Ii,
The man for the place is Willie Hopper
press agent.