Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-11-06
WATERS AND THEIR WAYS

Every man about town is familiar with
| the waiter, but it is only a superficial IA
miiarity at BEST" remarked commercial
traveller to Star reporter yesterday. THE
| noiseless and urbane figure in full dress fits
across his gastronomic vision only for u
moment, and gets no more than a passing
| glance, or passing quarter. Now ]. in
| travelling about from one city to another,
| have made a stury of the walters and OBJ
| serve that he has an individuality of his
| own There are many types of walters. and
class distinctions are as closely drawn as in
any other walk OF life. All nationahties.
creeds, and previous conditions Of servitude
are represented.
There is the French waiter. Perhaps he
is count, perhaps he isn't; but whether or
no, the grace and dexterity Of his move
ments suffer not His field OF operations is
the f1rst-class hotel. restaurant or club, and
he is always seen in faultless evening dress.
His coat is of the blacklist of black broad
cloth and fits him like glove. His trous-
ers are ditto, and an immaculate expanse
of linen relieves the otherwise somberness
of his attire. You sit down to dine. He ap-
pears at the end of the table. You do not
hear him coming, you do not see him until
he is at your elbow. There IS only one
hinge in his body-at the waist. He bends
it, and lays the menu under your nose. Inc
hinge Strengthens him UP again, and ne
waits. You order; he disappears. inen
you wait. 1t may be for minute, II may
be longer.
"He reappears with a pyramid of smok-
ing dishes f1ecks imaginary crumbs from
the table cloth, and without clatter or
clash, good dinner is before you.
His Idea of Arithmetic.
"Being an American, you gulp down your
dinner as fast as your Jaws will let you'
and all the while the walters eyes are upon
you. Then, when you have finished ne is
at your elbow again with the check. You
give him bank note. This is where MS
arithmetic comes in. No matter what the
denomination of the note or the amount Of
the check he will so fix the change that
there is quarter and ten-cent piece In
it. You give him either or nothing, as
your generosity or principle dictates. he
pockets the either or the nothing with the
same air of imperturbable gravity, but If it
is the nothing you put on your topcoat
yourself If it is the ten-cent piece he
simply holds the coat for you: II the quar-
ter, the coat is put on, your undercoat pull
ed down. and the collar neatly arranged
Then there is the German. He may also
be count with long name split in the
middle with a Won His methods are
closely allied to his French brothers. He Is
equally noiseless, polite and deft and equal
ly on hand when the fees are to be given
out He Is somewhat broader in figure, and
broader in his manner of serving you, but
he gets there just the same Have him
wait on you and you will soon recognize
this.
1.-The coiored walters dusky presence
comes and goes like the seasons He is
here today and you miss him tomorrow.
Some hotel autocrats, yclept clerks, declare
that he is not submissive as Of yore, and
entertains a high and mighty opinion of
himself. This, however, may be an unjust
color line drawn by the aforesaid autocrats,
for the fact remains that the colored man
and brother continues to handle dishes in
many first-class hotels and restaurants in
nearly every city of the United States with
his 'old-time' dexterity and dispatch.
On the Bowery.
"But it is the hash-handler of the
conference.-the saloons who stands forth
in startling originality. He is distinct
specimen of the genus waiter. He may be
tall short stout or lean, but Is always
pale and round-shouldered. He wears
collar and a necktie, or he doesn't, accord
ing to his fancy or early training. His
shoes are always too large for his feet and
he never lifts them off the floor when he
moves. His stock in trade is a semi
sarcastic. semi-blaze expression, and a
long string of outlandish and original
titles for the ordinary articles to be round
on the bill of fare. Order steak. He
will call it one slaughter house. Eggs
fried on one side are white wings with the
sunny side up. One with the light out is
his yell for coffee without milk and beans
minus pork is a brass band without
leader His chief hold on popularity is his
dense ignorance of fees. He never thinks
of one, never looks for one. and seldom. If
ever, gets one. He will stand twenty feet
from you, and shy your check at the table.
Practice has made him perfect in this, and
the piece of pasteboard will drop beside
your plate. Sometimes it will fall into your
soup, but if 1t does you have struck a new
hand at the business.
Like other branches of labor the waiter
has his union. Besides this he belongs to
the Auiity Club, the Columbian Club, the
United Walters Association, and the In
ternational Society. These are benevolent
institutions and takes care of their men,
bers when illness or accident prevents
them from taking care of themselves"