Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1897-11-02

!|
"rou ARE TEDDY THE FERRErT
well. wot Of ity" replied the house
breaker.
why. Just this-you'll excuse my
| speaking 10 low-but the fact In I've
come all the way from the San joaquin
TO lock up party In your line Of busi.
ness.
"Have, chr"
"Yes-I-well, I've little proposi.
tion to make TO you"
Exactly. said the Ferret calmly:
you're q bank cashier down in the
foothills.
"How did you know thaty" stammer.
| ed tho gentleman. much amazed.
| And your cash and accounts are TO
be gone over by the directors on the
first. and. ~ you cant realize on your
stocks. you want me to gag you some
time next week, shoot your hat foil OF
holes. find the combination In your
breast pocket and 20 through the safe
In the regular way"
Great heavens. man! How did you
fnd all that out?'
"why. guessed It It's the regular
thing, you know. Got three orders to
attend TO ahead Of yours now. Lemme
see. Can't do anything for you next
week. bet might give you Wednesday
and Thursday Of the week after. How'll
ths, suit you!''
The cashier said be thought he could
make that do. and in less than fve min
utes they had struck o bargain and nr-
ranged the =, hole affair.
Even New York isn't much ahead Of
| Sun Francisco in regard 10 modern con-
veniences New York World.
ATteu.us Ward and the Prince Of waies.
! was drawin near to tho prince
when red faced man in millingtery
close grabd holt Of me and axed me
WHARF I was goin oil 80 bold.
''To see Albert EGard. the prince Of
| Wales. seq l. who are your"
He sed he was the kurnal Of the Sew
enty Fust regiment, her magisty's 9
troops. told him hoped the Seventy
Onesters was In good helth and was
passin by VIXEN he ceased hold Of me
asin and sed in tone Of INDECENT cir
prise:
WHAT Impossiblel 1t kannot be!
Blarst my hize. sir. did ! understan you
to say that you was actooally goin into
| the presents OF his royal iniss!'
That's what's the matter with
me" replied.
"Bu,, blarss my hize. sir. It's onprece-
| deuted. It's orful, sir Nothin like ii
hahn happened sins the gun power plct
| Of Guy Forks. Owdashus man, who air
yu?"
"Sir," sez !. drawin myself up &
putin oil defiant air. "I'm Amery-
| can sitterzen. Ny name il Ward. I'm q
husband. & the father Of twins. which
I'm happy to state thay lock like me.
By perfession I'm Q exhibitor Of wax
works & SIGH"
GOOD God!" yelled the kurnal; 1.-THE
idee Of exhibitor Of wax iggers goin
into the presents Of royalty The British
lion may well roar with raje at the
thawtr'
Sez /. "Speakin Of the British lion,
kurnal, I'd like to make bargain with
you fur that beast fur few weeks to
add to my show" ! didn't mean moth
In by this. I was only gettin orr u
gosk, bot you orter hev seen the old
kurnal jump up and howl lie actooally
foamed at the mowth.
"This can't be Teal," he showtid
"No, no. It's horrid dream. Sir, you
air not q human bein-you hav no exist
ents-yu'rs q myth"
"Waal." sea !, "old hoss. yule find
me ruther uncomfortable myth ef you
punch my inards in that way agin." !
began to git little riled, fur when he
called me q myth he puncht me putty
hard. The kurnal now commenst showt-
in fur tie Seventy Onestera / at fust
thawt I'd stay q becum q marter to
British outrxje, a. sich course mite
git my name up q be good advertise
ment fur my show, but it occurred to
me that ef emmy Of the Seventy Onesters
shood happen to insert baronet into
my stummick it mite be onplesunt, & I
was ON the pint Of runnin orr when the
prince hisself hum up & axed me what
the matter was. Ses /, ALBERT Edard,
IL that your" & be milt q sed 1t was.
Ses 1: albert Edard, hears my keerd.
cum to pay my respecks to the futer
king Of lngland. The kurnal Of the Sew
enty Onesters hear 10 ruther mawl per-
taters, bot Of oourse you amt to blame
fur that He puts on - many airs -
tho be was the bully boy with the glass
eye"
Never mind" ses Albert Edard,
"l'm glad to see you. Mister Ward, at
all events" q he tux my hand 20 pies
unit like q larfed 30 sweet that fell In
love with him to onct. BE handed me
o segar, q we cot down ON the pizarro
q commenst smokin rite cheerful
"Wall," seq I. Albert Edard. how's
the old folksi''
"Her majesty & the prince are well. :"
be sed.
"Dus the old man take bis lager beef
reslsri" inquired.
The prince larfed, d intefmatid that
the old man didn't let many kegs Of
that bevridse spile In the cellar IN the
ooarse Of . year. We cot 4 tawlked
there sum time abowt matters d things.
d bimeby axed him how he liked bein
prince - fur - he'd got.
ITO speak plain, Mister Ward. !" be
sed, II don't much liks Il I'm sick of
III this bowin 3 sufapin q crawliD 4
hurrain ovsr . boy Hks ma Iwoold