New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-03-07
"TATTERs."
A JOURNALISTIC EPISODE.

JOURNALISTIC EPlSODE'
After battling the unhoy greed Of the train con-
ductor for tickets by flashing an annual pass IN
his face. the country editor threw his feet up on
the opposite seat and told the following story'
"Of course I didn't escape being victim Oh the
rage for 'woman's editions which swept over the
land a few molths ago. The ladies OF ioca' so
ciety for the ameloration OF something or other
descended upon me and | SURRENDERED '"oN
two pipes. a pound OF smoking tobacco an"
a fshing-rod and decamped. leaving Inc
Budget in their charge for one week. win
the privilege OF making all they could out OF
Ii. Ny printer was supposed TO stay. but being ny
classification a tramp. and having heaVy oo"'u
bill hanging his head by a single hair, ne en-
brsced the opportunity. two hours after mao gone
10 walk away down the railroad track Ihs iei'
the mechanical end Of the Office at the mercy OF the
devil an inky imp called 'Tstters The iadies
were good deal disturbed at the detection OF the
printer, but bravely decided to go ahead with rat
tiers and get out the paper. They called MIN IN 10
give him some Instructions. He stood before them
wearing. usual. long apron stin with INK
paste and unknown substances; the only thing
which saved his face from being In the same con-
dion his apron the fact that he was In the
haiti Of constantly twisting II into many shapes
that the ink. paste and unknown substances on 1t
never had time TO stfen. His hair pointed In all
directions like that of ackinthe-box and in his
left hand he carried section of column OF wet
type.
What are you doing, Tatters? inquired the
lady who was president OF the amelioration So
ciety with some dignity.
THROWN in. answered the imp
Throwing in what"
Type
Into what?
The case Think I THROWN II into my
hat"
THE lady looked at him codly. and he went on:
But I'm most through and you'll hear me
hollerin for copy in bout quarter OF nour
and he retreated into the composng-room and
slammed the door.
The ladies' indignant. but there was clearly
nothing 10 do but to grin and bear II. A few min
u,es later there came a most dismal. long-drawn
wall from the other ROOM which, after some ehort
they managed 10 interpret the promised 'hol-
er.n'' 1t was followed By the appearance OF Tat
ters's head at the door
What is tt? asked the president who had been
chosen editor in chief, little sharply
Copy returned Tatters. Did you think was
singing the Doxolergy?
There Is no copy ready yet. Can't YOU be doing
something elser
"T can THAR and he snatched of his apron and
started for the door I can be going fishing just as
easy not
"Ta:tersr cried the frightened editor. springing
before the door, don't you dare to desert US: You
stay here till some copy is ready for you
"Tatters retreated and put on his AKRON in an asi-
tated frame OF mind.
"A moment later one Of the Younger ladies. who
had been appointed managing editor. took roll OF
daintily written manuscript from her handbag and
said:
Here, Tatters Is something which you can be.
gin on
"Tatters took H. shifted. glanced az II and said:
What Is it-spring poetry"
No. It's the essay that | read at commence
ment. We shall put it on the fourth page.
What, the editorial page" shrieked Tatters.
Put such CUFF that the editorial page OF The
Budget Not much, and he tossed the manuscript
on the table.
I'VE shall certainly do as we see At interposed
the editor-in-chief with grea- dignity.
- resign" cried Tatters. again tearing on his
apron and throwing 1t behind him, where 1t struck
in the city editors lap. greatly 10 dlsmay 1
sign my posish. that's all. Here II you want It in
ink gimme pen Lemme write II out In black n
white-"Dear Madam: | hereby resign my posish
(Sgned) Tatters" Gimme a pen. say!
"'Tatters be cam-act reasonable, said the ed-
tor-in-chef, in a soothing tore. What shall We put
the editorial page"
"'Editorials. OF course he answered, slightly mol
lifted
- on what subject"
Tariff n the currency
But don't know anything about the tariff
and the currency.
Neither does the boss. but he writes two col
umns bout EN- every week But II you can't do 1t
write about bikes
This struck the ladies' favorably and one Of them
began writing al article on the bicycle craze while
the city editor handed Tatters item. which he
took. wrinkng up his nose and remarking that
her question look like buton-h hooks, and re-
treated 10 the composng-room.