Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1897-07-11
NOW THEY'RE SORRY.
THOSE TWO LOVERS WHO SOUGHT
SOLITUDE IN THE WOODS.
WOMAN And A TELEGRAM.
The Strange Things They shy ana
the Strange Things They Do-How
Tn Cut Ice "Perfectiy Lovely" anu
acute"

They had wandered out from the CIV
and beyond the suburban ashbanks'
n woody nook, untrodden by man. her
at last they found solitude and rest
II was a labyrinth OF leaflets, Darrei %
quiveriny Virginia creeper, ana sung u
sleep by the ceaseless requiem or t"e
ever restless river, that licked t-e
sodden marge of their asylum. ne
shifted the vernal breeZes win an air
OF happy contenment, and sighed
sigh OF blessed relief. She, gloatihg III
his satisfaction. duplicated the snin' anu
did ditto with the sigh Then lhey
sat down. side by side, and gave
nartomine. entitled, Were so Biau
we're living" 1t was a union OF hearts
and hands-a mutual throDbing or carui-
&c apparatuses. and joint now Oh
perspiration. There are moments wheh
we wish 10 be alone. This was their
moment and a moment Of great moment
II was. Above the symphony Oh leal-
lets; beyond and all around the music
OF birdlings, and beneath, the moss
of emerald hue! Soft were the WORDS
they afterwards spoke, and gentle were
their whisperings, as they iaid IN ga
weeks supply OF chills and fever. Lutte
cared he for the grass stains, gUfneieu
by his trousers, ana less bothered she
about the tack in her shoe. Iney were
happy. happy. happy; for they had peeh
at,,,ns themselves to each other. she
was TO be his forever. He was 10 De
hers from this day forth and eyermore.
II was TO be an eternal partnership,
Going business under the firm name OF
'Us. We and Company" Nature re-
ioiced with them, and witnessing the
contract. she egIetted that there were
no fairies and elves and sprites TO wish
them luck Yes, Nature rejoiced, nor
was she forgetful. Fairies and elves
and sprites had she none, but unto that
enraptured twain she sent her myriad
legions Of sylvan representatives. Even
as the lovers felt themselves TRANSLATED
they realized tho presence OF this host
this consratulatory multitude, for WIN
their new life came a billion chiggers,
and tenscors thousand Of woodland ticks.
And each one did mis- duty, ana chung TO
them closer than a brother, and was
faithful unto Geath-nay, even unto the
third and fourth generation did they get
in their work, and scorn the peppermint
that was neapeu upon theh
Bugs and mice and dogs and kilograms
are things women won't get used TO-
and there's no sense in trying TO bring
about reconciliation in this direction.
The three aforementioned classes Of their
enemies evoke squeals and Mysteries and
n lifting Of pettlcoats well calculated 10
ernharrags the order of benedlcts, while
the telegram produces tears and sobs ana
thumpings of hearts. Iou may tell your
wife that you are going 10 Petersodls'
and will wire her upon your reaching
there. but all the same she VIII shudder
when the messenger boy arrives. IL ne
comes at 1880 r NJ, or, in fact, any
time after dark. she will FIRST faint and
then beseech the hardened little sinner
who bears the yellow envelope TO break
the news TO her slowly When she reads
tho message-"Reached here o. X; send
negligee shirts"-she is astounded that
the train hasn't run off the track or the
city been swallowed up by an earth
quake. And afterwards, when she's hunt
ing all over the house for lead pencil
with which to sign the small boys book,
il will occur to her that she has been
very, very foolish, and that the way she
acted was perfectly ridiculous" She re-
solves never 10 do that way again, and
never does-till her husband wires
second time for his pipe.
Some years ago two sweet young aspi-
rants for the degree of Bachelor OF Arts
at the Woman's College received a let
ter from home, which announced the dan
gerous Illness Of their mother. and stated
that any change in her condition woult
be announced By wire. Later on the
dread messenger boy appeared at the
educational Adamless Eden with the aw
full yellow envelope. Many were the SYM
pathiZers who produced their poorly
sharpened pencils in order that h. book
might be signed. Then the sorrowful
daughters fell a-weepng. and a lacry-
NOSE epidemic followed. The news Wenc
abroad that the good mother was dying,
and the sorrow-stricken daughters has
tened TO pack their trunks ard depart.
1t was during this terrible ordeal that a
sympathetic friend came In and asked to
know the direful contents OF the mes
sage And then-then only-it occurred