Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-05-22
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Harlem life.
How dreadful!y stout the general 10
gettingr' Yes. isn't 1t Fortunate! 9th.
srwise be wouldn't be able 10 wear ali
his metals.'-pupcl,
Mr.. New Hub--What does IL r,ean
when bride promises to Obey Alrs
New Hub-Simply that she prefers not
10 make a scene.-ruck.
lis that good hen. Uncle Josh:" "A
good hen?" said Uncle Josh. why, that
ar hen lays eggs as big as hailstuns."
Detroit Free Press.
She-What a little mouth your young
Lady friend has! 1t doesn't look large
enough TO hold her tongue. He--1t
dossn't-yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Newed-was I nervous. dear,
during the ceremony? Miss Spitegirl..
Well. a trifie. at first. darling. pvt not
after William had said yes--Tru.h.
Mrs. Ton--You used to say was the
Hight OF your life. Mr.. Ton--Yes, and I
suppose that's why you are so easily
put out now we are married.-Judy.
A ray Of hope: The Bridc-I'm 80
worried about Fred's cold! Her Moth.
er-Still. the majority of cases Of cold
N the head terminate favorably.-puck.
Barnes Tormer---Talk about your
frpsts! Why. boy came down from
the gallery and wanted his money back
bcciuse be was afraid to stay Alone
Life.
She-lt must have taken a great deal
OF persistence on your part to learn 10
play the violin SO well. Hc-it lid.
had to go constantly armed for i've
ycars.-Life. ,.. ......
"But we cannot live on papa" protest.
al the savage's bride to be: "hc IL
drcadfully poor" I'VE can wait until
be is fatter.' said the cannibal. DO
crolt Journal.
An old woman quite rcpellcnt comes
In DO you think you eau ind nus.
band for me?" she asks. Agent-Pcr.
haps-if some blind man comes ill.,
I'Illus,re de Poche.
did you divide your bonbons with
your little brother. Mollic?" Eyes, ma;
ate the candy and gave him the mot
toes. You know he Is awfully fond OF
Enthusiastically.
'fou poor schoolma'ams are woeful
iy underpald." 'Oh. I don't know.
have taken enough chewing.gum away
from the children to last me three
ycars."-indianapolis Journal.
"Ah. my poor man." said the bcnevo.
lent old lady, Il suppose you are often
pinchcd by want and hunger. are you
not?' "Yessum. and by de ps."-Cin.
cinnati CONGRATULATIONS.
And are the divorce laws so very
libei,ll in your section:" Liberal? Say
They are so liberal that nobody ever
heard of woman crying at wedding
out there. Detroit Journal.
lle-Mlss Bcllacour claims 10 belong
To n very old family She-well. she's
justified. There are six of those girls
and the youngest of them must be III
least 3o."-Cleveland Leader.
Mrs. Chink has hit on plan to keep
her husband from smoking In the par
ior." What did she do:" 'She hung
the portraits of her three former hus
bands ,bere."-Chcago Record.
Bachelor-Do you think man viii
have bad luck II he gets married on
Friday? Benedict-Oh. l don't think Il
makes any difference whether it's Fri
day or not.-Yonkcrs Statesman.
Truth crushed to earth will rise
usain,'" quoted the earnest man
-Jrnc," replied Senator Sorghum; 'buI
IN many cases. not until after the ref
cree has counted Observation-Disclosures
Star.
;sss.-Tell me, dearest. do you really
aail me all your thoughts? He--Cer
tainly, my darling; more than that
even. Every day tell you hundred
OF things without even thinking
swers.
THE Farmers Wife-Would you bs
willing 10 saw some wood for yOul
breakfast? Fluent Fontleroy-It would
be- useless, madam. My teeth are mo-
m good as they once were.-COrnel
Widow.
$50 you think with the bishop thai
the crowd at Carson was not compos
ed OF average Americana" "Of course
do. The average man was too hare
mp to go."-Cincinnatl Commercial
Tribune.
1T is very hard to learn to ride bi
cycleT' asked the pretty girl Of he
cousin VIII, who had taken three les
sons. WELL" said VIII, ruefully
.'when you hit the ground 1t is."-
Washington Times.
links Cat a party)-I don't see what
the matter with that pretty woman
over there. She was awfully fiirt!
while ago and now she won't hav'
.pvhins 10 do with me. Stranger
have Just come In. She's my wife,
Scottish Nights.
Then why did you encourage me-?
ne demanded, fiercely. Tears sprani
10 her eyes. pray, forgive me-" sh
s.utreated. II know got mad whei
you asked me to be your wife, and toll
YOU never to speak to me again, blu
an. sorry. do not love you now.
don't believe loved you even then.
yas thoughtless. Can you not forglv'
mes May We not part friends"-De
croft Journal.
Boston Teacher-We will now TAX
a,n the study of the senses. Why hal
she Creator furnished US with eyes
boston Pupil aged 4--To enable us Il
see. Teacher-And what office Is fillet