Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1897-11-11

''Macgrigor Anstruther Calhoun. A B.,
Was as cool card of the queens navee
AS ever reused the hard, Portsea,
Or Painted Point.
But his soul was among the damned, we
hear,
Cos he took up rum and turned Down
And frequent threw his inner gear
All out of joint.
But Cox'n Macgrigor Calhoun, v. c.
THERE'S no doubt he's a very
dif'rent Character observed
my friend Chatty Mather, A. B. "But
we don't want to sit in this fog and
hear about it. There's 10 verses to that
hymn"
So we went out. We had been to a
sing-song in a rough" house in Port
sea, and it was getting towards that
time in the evening when hilarious
spirits insist on using the table as
platform and make grave attempts to
dance hornpipes on the mantelshef.
But what's the song all about?" 1
asked, as we walked up Queen street.
Didn't I never tell We about that ?
No? 1t starts here, too. This yer Mac
erigor Calhoun was in the Dool1e, layin'
in the stream, when Cap'n Billy Bunson
hoisted his pennant on her. Fust gen'ral
leave after, Sandwich was the tally
Calhoun sailed under in that ship
didn't get back when he ought. He
was adrift 491h hours, and then he ar
rove aboard in waterman's boat, wild
one boot on, no cap, and general tore
appearance. He limbered up afore the
skipper the followin' Thursday, a
course.
Whats this?' says the Cap'n.
Broke your leave by over 4S hours
How's that?'
Missed me train, SIR says Sam.
"'What hole of place was you in
then, where they only runs one train in
Two days?'
London, SIR
'Master-at-Arms, how many trains
from London in day?' said the Cap'n,
-turnin' to the johndy.
1.-The johndy looks 'em up. Nearly
90. SIR
".Did you miss all the so, my man.?
"'On'y jist, sir. Hardly to be called
miss it wasn't. A sort of a nouter,
sir, I should call it.
"Indeed! Fourteen days ten a, and
stop his leave for a month, Master-at-
Arms
Every good, SIR says the johndy
but he's already habitual leave, sir,
(Only going ashore once in tire.
months.)
"Cap'n Bunson hung on mint as
the beadle-which is the same as a
iohndy-spoke, and Sam took the op.
portunity to say he'd rather have cells
than 10 4.
'sThe Cap'n looked him up and down
for a mint or two. Well, my man. he
says, we don't know each other very
well yet, but think we shall. OF all
the impudent scoundrels 1 ever met
wild. you're the worst. You come
aboard in a filthy condition after q
drinking turnout, and tell lies about
missin' trains'-( 'On'y jist, SIR whispers
Sam)-'and now you asst a favor! You
want to choose your punishment, Ell
Why, if you told the truth wouldn't
give We any at all. All you men lie and
say you miss trains, and none of yoJ
think of sendin' a chit off explainin
that you're dead drunk and can't come.
"sNo, sir. Never struck me as any
good, sir says Sam.
EXACTLY. And yet you all know
that 1 know what's the matter
Eyes, SIR
"'Try to tell the truth for the future
then. And as you want cells, do sever
DAYS of 'em in addition to the 10 A
sam done his cells, meditatin' deeI
all the time, and then done his 10 \
mournfuI. It's very wearin' is 10 A
e III ,~noooFY,I I,
10 \, when it's your watch below, you
clean brass or paint work, or hOlystonC
decks, or take a rest for two or three
hours on the quarter deck, standin' a
attention facin' the patchwork, anC
two yards from anythink to lean
ag'inst. You eat under the sentry
eve land eat rapid, too, because you
times short) sittin' on the cable-deck
which is the windiest place in the ship
It's a fair torture of punishment, al
though it don't sound hard in par
lament, where they asts about it some
times. Your grog's stopped in boil
punishments, and you mustn't smoke, a
course.
'sWhen Sam next got leave he done
+be usual-broke it. Instid of him,
telegraph come to the Cap'n. Tha
rnornin' the Cap'n was the most Zero
c;ous on the defaulters I ever seen him
Tie gave 'em all the maxi'um punish
ment. He capped at the officers; h.
said there was court-martials still to b,
had: he swore he'd have a hangin' a
the vardarm; or, as there wasn't any
on some ships, he'd put up wild
david.
1--WE was all in the dark, a course
about what had upset him. We though
his noolaids at breakfast was only war
raI teds or cookers, and little thin.
hike that is quite enough to throw
Dost-cap'n out o. gear, I can tell We
Rpt when Sam arrove, SO hours late, a
usual. we heard diff'rent.
..Sam was put in irons at once, ant
,;,ed down below before he knew wher
he was. He looked very hurt at tn
jobndy and asst him why he give hin
his sort of thing, so different to hi
usual welcome. Where was them smile
he l,noo so we'll? he asst, and the johnd.
ia him il wasn't no smilin' turnou
tbis time. It's mut'ny and court-maT
tials,' he says.
".Ah. WE'LL says Sam, as they wa
.sbuttin' the cell door, we can't all
bIoomin' well sotless. My pore head
-SIeep, gentle sleep. Rock me
".Did YOU send this?' said the Capri
-. Re vas brought before him. TIL