Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-04-17

W TVstcs GAh'VSCu tue uiUVIeS VI
bucket-slIop Keepers. but they nigh; be
exposed every day In the week and
there would still be an abundance of
HES walk into the bucxet.shOp par.
lor. Tie web Is too beautiful and too
attrr tive to be resisted AID the
game looks 80 easy! \ nan cun sit
down. pencil IN hand, e. h the repOr.
and .taiistlcs OF the wheat or stock
market before him, and figure up a for.
tune In less than ! time. let him try
II In actual practice aud his money van.
isles as Il 1t were fairy money. For.
while II " the maxim Of the gambler
that u su 70 Il born eve. minute. II
l. L maxim Of the buck. shop man
that the suckers money when paid. Is
his and Under no circumstances to he
pal, out. except nc bait. this Is the
reason why the bucke,-shop = amor
woman--can fail ana yet grow rich.
1hevo are no llfo positions
In this state, but several
skate judges who got on the
Circuit bench OF Cook Coun.
ty by accident want to fix
themselves In soft Jobs for
lite by getting UP q Non.Par.
tl0an judicial movemont.
The Iowa. the lntcst addition to the
American navy. nnd designated on the
official roster. an .seng0ing In ttleship
No. l." IL the queen aud pride Of the
navy. NJ least rs regards speed Not
only by Its trial record ut Boston did II
prove to be tho fastest American war
vessel aioat. but by averaging seven.
teen knots an hour over the whole
| trial course won for It's builders, tho
Cramps Of Philadelphia. the premium
| Of $2OO.OOO. The Iowa IL tho last OF
the vessels contracted for rnder the
provision for premium Of $4,000 for
every quarter.knot OF speed made In
excess Of that called for by tho specitl.
cations. The four hours trinl over the
regular Government course of the
| Massachusetts coast furnishes u good
test OF u seagOing vessel. ana the Iowa
stood the test admirably. proving Itself
superior to any other battleship ahOat
In the matter Of speed. There Is prac.
ticaily no other test than that Of speed
by which to Judge the bnttlcshlps.
though the real test OF their efficacy
would come when battleship meets
battlcship In war. Europe and Amer.
len IN recent years have spent vast
sums In building these floating fort
resscs; yet to how much purpose no
one knows or can know until the war
test IL made. The British Camper.
down, or the coast OF Crete. lately
demonstrated It's remarkable efficacy
In dropping shells with great precision
ana terrible effect. II these great mod.
crn warships Of the United States are
ever tested In battle 1t Is to he hoped
1t will be In better cause than that
which employed tho Camperdown.
Chicago Chronicle: a word with the
advertiser who stutfs the mail boxes
full OF printed matter. 1t doesn't pay,
1t repels trade instead OF attracting 1t.
The householder who sees through the
glass darkly what appears to be mail
letter and opens his box only to find a
culOgium of Smiths soap or Jones bak'
Ing powder or RObinsOn's Sd pants Is
absolutely certain to pass Smith, Jones
and Robinson by when he Is In need OF
soap or baking powder or pants. He
has been fooled. and It is only human
nature that he should "get even" II he
can. AS for the brigand who not only
stutfs his circular into the mail box OF
hallway. but rings the bell to attrac,
attention to it--retributiOn Ia coming
his way In seven-league botOs. 1t will
take the form OF a muscular servan,
girl. gOaded into active hostility by
fruitless tramps down four flights OF
stairs In response to u fraudulent post
mans ring aud armed with broom OF
a kettle Of hot water as an expression
of resentment. The mail box adver
tiser will do well to leave of his ne
furious practices. He Ii defeating hi
own object and Is counting reprsals
The mall box Is provocative of enough
worriment without being made thu
target for Obtuse persons who don
know enough to advertise In the prOpe
way---that Is to say, In the newspapers
Lieutenant Peary has been detached
from the Brooklyn navy yard and or
dered to report for duty on the Pacific
coast, but announces that his plans TO
reaching the north pole will 90 on al
! the same. He Is ut present hoping tina
! some person or persons will give hin
, $4,000, and he will then start on hi
trip. The greatest part of the money
he explains, will be needed to maintain
, a colony of EskimOs at point furthe
: north than any previous colony Ia