Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1897-07-14
a MUCH ABUSED FATHER.
a Woe Struck Man Who Is Compelled &c
Take Lessons In Telegraphing.

A Woe Struck Man Who Is Compelled &c
Take Lessons In Telegraphing.
The able and versatile horse editor
had just hung up the currycomb
and taken hitch in his surcingle
preparatory to heavy haul when
gentleman from Brooklyn trotted
into the stall and sat down.
Good morning." remarked the
horse editor pleasantly, as he did
not owe the visitor a cent.
''What would you do under the
circumstances" responded the Wis
ltor, with kind of an escaped from
Bloomingdale CLEAN in his unsteady
eyes.
well, I'd "a said Good morn
ing, or How are you?' or 60 to
the deuce' or something like that,
you know most anything would
have done just to show that you
knew how to speak when you were
spoken to. See9'' And the horse ed
itor put on smile of roasting sar-
caSm.
The visitor started strangely and
looked nervously at his gentle re-
proven.
Really, F." he said apologetically,
'you must pardon me. I'm that
worried I don't hardly know if I'm
afoot or horseback. That's what
I'm here for
What FORE" inquired the horse
editor.
well, what do you think of a
man of my age, with grown up
wife and children, he said, almost
hysterically, "being compelled to
go to a night school and learn to do
telegraphinGn'
"Why do Flu have to do its"
TOO much education is running
the country was the apparently
irrelevant reply
whats the matter with you,
anyhow" inquired the horse editor,
in a vexed tone.
1--WE been imposed on-that's all, ;"
said the visitor, in the sulks. elm
bued with the idea that I ought to
teach my four daughters something
by which they might earn their liv-
ing if they couldn't find husbands
to take the job off their hands, I
sent them to one of these telegraph
colleges, and they learned telegra-
ply. Fewer women learning that
than typewriting and stenography,
and they'll have better show;
that's why 1 chose telegraphy.
That's all right. They learned in
fine style and easy They're smart.
They take after their father more
than they do after their mother, if
I do say it myself. It wasn't long
till they taught their mother the
dot and dash language, too, and
now, by the jumping Jehoshaphat,
them women sit around and carry
on conversation right under my
nose, and never know gol darned
thing what they talking about. |
They tick on their plates at the table
with a knife Or fork, and then laugh
with ha-ha to raise the roof. I'll
be reading my paper, when all of
sudden I'll hear knocking away off
in some other part of the house, and
then whoever's in the room where
I am will ha-ha and tick back, and
then they will scream and tick some
more till I get up and leave. They've
been doing that way ever since my
wife learned how, and don't have
any peace. My wife learned in
about six weeks SOS she could tick
at a fair speed, and she and the girls
haven't let minute go by, it seems
to me, without practicing And
when they amt practicing they are
talking all around me without say
ing a word. I've got to protect my
self in some way. How long do you
think it will take me to learn2"
"Oh, about a thousand years or
So" replied the horse editor, and
began munching at his daily hay
New York Sun.