Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-07-29
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>" HAdH SroSWeli DOane, OF Albany,
paid visit to the old country, and
while there registered as civilian Of
Albany On his return (says the Phil
istine) he met Bishop Potter, who had
also been to Yurrup, but got home first,
when the latter said: "Too bad, Doane,
that you didn't 1--we in Buffalo; in that
case you could have registered as Buff
falO Bill"
Senator Cameron once called upon
President Lincoln in behalf of an ap-
plicant for consulate who was a par
ticularly pest1ferous person to him.
where do you want to have him
sent:' asked the President. There was
a large globe in the room. The Penn
sylvania Senator put one arm around
1t as far as he could reach, and said:
Il DO not know what my finger is on,
but send him there" And he was sent.
Wendell Phillips once, when he was
interrupted by an unfriendly audience,
stopped down and began talking in
low voice to the men ut the reporters
table. Some Of the auditors, becoming
curious, called Louder" Whereupon
Phillips Strengthened himself I'D and
exclaimed: go right on, gentlemen,
with your noise. Through these pen
clls'-pointing to the reporters-"I
speak to forty million people,"
A travelling man relates that he was
driving across the country to little
town in Western Kansas, the other
day, when he met a farmer hauling
wagon load Of water. where do you
get wa'ter!" said the traveller. "Up the
road about seven miles," the native re-
piled. "And you haul water seven
miles for your family and stock?"
yep" why, in the name of sense,
don't you dig well?" Because it's
jest as far one way as the other, stran-
GER
Bishop Potter visited brother prel-
ate last summer at a popular sea -side
resort As the bishops were walking
home from the Sunday morning SER
vice, they could not fail to notice the
crowds Of bathers in the surf, clad and
unclad In all manner Of costumes The
resident prelate turned to his visitor,
saying with sigh: "What should YOU
do if you were confronted by a prob
lem like that IN your diocese%' Broth
err Bishop Potter quietly replied, this
Is not my see!'
While making a post-prandial speech
In Chicago, the other night, Colonel
Watterson lamented that he was un-
al IN hi r{e~A~ A.
comfort which Daniel was able to sum-
mon when he found himself in the
lions den. Casting about him and as
pertaining that there was no possible
means OF escape, the prophet folded his
arms and turned upon the ferocious
beast who was licking his chops pre-
paratory to deyouring him. and he said:
There is one comfort. anyhow. After
this meal there won't be any speech
making"
The other day the heavy downpour
and the closeness Of the atmosphere in
the Rhode Island Senator's committed
room (says the Washington POST eyoly-
ed some marvellous tales about trout.
Senator Caffery spoke of a superlative
catch in which he estimated his fish at
nine pounds. Mr.. Aldrich went him
one better by putting a certain catch
OF his down at forty-one inches long.
Where did you catch him?' inquired
Senator Caffery, obviously. 'Tn Rhode
1sland.' Him" said Senator Gallery;
''there isn't river in the State long
enough to produce such fish,"
In the Brazilian hotels men are en-
ployed to do the chamber work, and
they are prone to rush into the bed
rooms Of the guests when occasion re-
quires without knocking. A prim little
Yankee "schoolmarm' visiting Rio de
JaneirO was much annoyed at this Gus
Nom. and. after mildly protesting sew
eral times without effect, she said Sc
verely to the boy who did the work in
her room: Juan, be good enough to
understand that will not allow you to
open the door of my room without
knocking. If you do it again l shall
certainly report you at the Office. Why,
l might be dressing!' mo danger Of
that, senora," responded Juan, in his
best English. ''before l come in / al
ways look me through the keyhole."
Captain Mahan, in his Life of Mel
son." tells the following story of the
great sailor. The feet letters had Just
been sent off, when Nelson saw a mid
shipman come up and speak to Meuten-
ant Pasco, the signal officer. who. when
hearing what was said, stamped his
foot in evident vexation, and uttered
en- exclamation. The admiral called
him and asked what was the matter.
Nothing that need trouble your lord
ship was the reply. You are not the
man to lose your temper for nothing"
rejoined Nelson; what was it p well.
II you must know. my lord. will tell
you. You see that coxswain:" point
ing to one Of the most exacting Of the
petty officers: 1--WE have not a better
man on board the Victoria, and the
message which put me out was this.
was told that he was so busy receiving
and getting of the mail-bags that he
forgot to drop his own letter into one Of