New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-12-29
PATENT REMINDERS.
SOME FUNNY THINGS WHICH IN
IL MENTORS HAVE MADE. =

= VEN iORS HAVE MADE.
A Bracelet to Make Her Think of En-.
venience of Sleepy Heads-One to Thwart
the Grave Robber. ~
Psychologists assert that civilized hui
man beings are growing more absent
minded. The average man of intelli-
gence today is not alert, not SO con-
scious Of his Immediate environments,
as lie was a century ago. He does more
thinking than he did then, and great
er part Of his business in life is left to
the purely mechanical brain functions.
The inventors, always step ahead Of
the requirements of the times, are al
ready at work devising contrivances to
summon absent attention. One of the
latest of these is bracelet that has an
alarm watch attached to it. The wearer,
having an engagement at a certain hour,
sets the watch, and when the time ar
rives a little needle point pricks her
arm and reminds her Of the duty.
At the patent office large class Of
inventions is comprised under the head
Of "alarms" -these being machines by
which persons who otherwise would not
think are made to think. The average
individual is obliged, however unwill-
ingly, to get up at certain time in the
morning. To provide for this require
ment many ingenious persons have APP
piled their talents to the production Of
contrivances for awakening people and
compelling them to arise. There is a
kind of bedstead, for example, which
holds it's mattress in a frame that is re-
tanned in the normal position by catch.
At the proper hour the catch, operated
| by q clockwork mechanism, loses it's
grip, and the mattress frame becomes
vertical instead of horizontal, throwing
sleepy head out upon the floor.
There is another sort of bed which
lets the head Of the sleepy person drop
when getting up time arrives, one end
of the mattress frame collapsing. But
one of the queerest of the patented
methods of waking people up involves
the employment of tin pan and a
weight hung by a cord. When the
| hands of a clock reach certain point,
the weight is released and falls upon
the pan, making a direful racket. An
other oddity is frame from which are
suspended number of corks. During
the night it is lowered gradually by a
clockwork mechanism until at the
proper hour and minute the dangling
corlzs begin to bob against the nose and
face Of the sleeper. Of course he wakes
up. The most obvious advantage of
these sleep alarms is that they render
anxiety on the part of the sleeper un-
necessary, SO far as rising is concerned.
He can snooze undisturbed by the neces-
sity Of watching himself.
Hayseed visitors in the city will in
sist on blowing out the gas notwith-
standing all the newspaper jokes on the
subject. To provide against such acct
dents, citizen of Ashland, Wis, has
invented little apparatus that is in
tended to be attached to every gas fix
ture in hotel The breath Of person
who attempts to blow out the gas tilts
a delicately balanced electrode and
closes circuit, giving all alarm in the
Office. Another kind Of alarm, patented
by Chicago man, notifies the house
holder Of escaping gas. If you are
afraid of pickpockets, you can obtain
protection by wearing a small machine
that makes big disturbance in case
anybody tries to put his hand into your
pocket.
Even after death you may find alarms
a service. If grave robber come:
along, torpedo placed in the coffin fol
that purpose will blow him to smither
Gems. Surprising that the disturbance
wakes you to life again, clockworl
mechanism will start bell to ringing,
while red flag runs up to the top o.
the tombstone, giving notice that {
prompt resurrection is desired. Speak
ing of waking up suggests mention o.
some odd contrivances for doing neces
sary things before getting out Of bed il
the morning. One of these, patented by
a lazy Vermonter, enables one to TURF
!; on the draft of a stove or furnace ani
} then turn over for q supplementary
} snooze.g This, however, is primitiv,
SOAIAA OOAu e0IO>A WAu4 tAO AAVOA
ton of resident of Providence which
provides for the feeding Of a whole sta
bleful Of live stock at daybreak. Mr.
Sleepy Head simply turns on his pillow
and jerks a cord, which opens a valv,
in the stable and let's down the requisite
quantity of feed into trough, ..-
There are quite a number Of inven
tions for lighting the fire in the morn
ing, without getting out Of bed. The!
are all operated byclockwork. The sbes
of them is credited to an Illinois genius
A clock is set for a certain time, ant
: when the proper minute is reached tn,
mechanism "throws'' a lever, which
draws match across piece of sandpa
, per and ignites the kindling. One of tn
latest patents is for street lamPwhicl
has a clockwork apparatus attached t
:, it. At the correct moment for which
the machine is set it closes an electri
! circuit, at the same time opening tn
gas pipe. Immediately the gas is ignit