The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-08-05
SAM JONES' SAYINGS.
Quaint Sentences From Sermons by
the Georgia Evangelist.

$3.50 W nave CninRS uull, Saln Kew.
audience at Glyndon park. "The last
pace 1 want to get into is cemetery. I"
Mr. Jones made two addresses at the
promotion camp yesterday, one in the
AFTERNOON and the other at night, and in
oeen he full lived up to his cheerful
axiom. II hCpe you understand me, f"
ne SAID to those who heard him at night
II try to get my fodder down low
enough for all kinds OF animals to feed,
from the giraffe to the billygoat. If there
De any among you that do not under
STAND me, won't worry about you, for
the Lord has made special provision for
iolots and children, and you'll make the
landing in good shape"
Character and Character BuilCippn
was the subject of the afternoon address;
money and Manhood" that delivered at
night. Both were full of quaint, witty,
shrewd, pthy ana slangy sayings which
nave SO built up the reputation OF the
Georgia evangelist. At night he aroused
interest by attacking education at public
expense and by his denuncations of the
greed for ofiiceholding. Both develop
ments, he said, had undermined the
sturdy, independent manhood which had
made this country's greatness, and until
the nations manhood was once more as
"
ity.'
Here are some of the phrases and SEN
fences which caught the fancy of his
audiences:
"Of all the infinite rascals have ever
seen the worst is the fellow who will 20
the farthcst for the dollar
Hell is selfshness on fire, and it's a
wonder 10 me that some old deacons
don't catch by natural combustion
This country will never develop u
grand man and still enjoy itself with the
things it is running after now"
"lfevery politician in Maryland were to
go to the ties of hell in bunch and the
devil were to peep out ut them through
the keyhole he'd shut up shop right
away Because if he'd let them all come
in at once they'd call caucus, knock
him IT. the heat and choose II new devil {"
"Theie's no room in the realm of poll
tics Tor manhood now. This country is
going down in the scramble for office"
There are six hundred and forty. one
millions of silver in this country and six
hundred and seventy one millions 81 gold
i'll this country. That's what ali the
talk was about last year. But all the
gold and silver that there is in this
country is spent every twelve months for
beer and whiskey."
eff we were to dump all our gold and
silver in the Atlantic ocean and..pour the
liquor in after it, we'd have an err of
prosperity such rs this country never be-
fore dreamed of.
1.-THE politicians of this country have
turned us into IL nation of calves Wash
ington is public w-pen and every
office holder is II pap. sucker. The curse
of the country is This laying down on the
government
"Free--schools! It's no more the bust
ness of the State to educate your kid than
1t is for the Government to spank him,
undress him and put him to bed. Free
education cuts the grit from under n
family and down they Gomez
II believe God Almighty projected this
world, on the root, hog or die princi-
pie. Got to have helpr That what has
bankrupted the State and wrecked
municipal ties. Fap-suckers, taxes null
tiplying, manhood going down-that's
the country to-day"
"fhe Government which robs Peter to
give to Bill ruins Peter and makes a
failure Of the other fellow
"A college is to 1t. boy what grind
stone is to an axe. 1t whets him. But
the axe may be kept too .ong Mt the
stone.'
''If the poor boy hasn't headed the pro
cession in this country for century my
names not Sam Jones' It's n Islander on
America and libel on Providence to sa>
that the poor man has no chance. He
gets there every pop"
''l've'never known Il boy to 20 to the
bad who honestly reverenced his mother -
"Bloomers! Why, sure. It's woman's
rights man. / believe in woman being
anything she wants to be except the
father of family OF children"
Two pillars uphold the womanhood of
this country-modesty aud purity. With
either pillar gone woman sinks. God
pity the American woman who tells
modes sly to step asider'
"Modesty buttons girls dress close
up around her neck. God save ME from
The society woman who buttons her col
lar around her waist
do you expect Mckinley to bring
prosperity? Put all the cals on the
Pennsylvania railroad in one train, tell
the boys to pile in, hitch one mule to IT.
and say, Git up, Bill Dye 'spose he
kin pull it?''
Reputation is what men say of me.
Character is what l really am. Repu
tation is like glove, to be pulled on and
Oft ar will. but character is the hand
itself. Once SCARED il is Scared forever
IF had people in my congregation
such as some of you people have. I'd sell
them like eggs in warm weather, prin-
cipally for the reason that they won't
keep"
Liberty is the privilege of doing right
License means that. you can do wrong for
so much down.
Tell me what you are thinking about
to day and know what you'll lie doing
10 morrow"
You say that you've got religion in
your heart. Well, I'd want it in my
head, sure, il couldn't have it in any
other place.
Heavens way the other side of
shOutin'. After you get through shoutin,