The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1897-12-27
SOME CHAPTERS IN THE LIFE OF
MIR. NUDGE RECORDED FOR
PERUSAL.
THOUGHT HE WAS REFoRMER,
AND STARTED OUT TO EFFECT NO
TABLE REFORMS FOR MAN.
KIND.
DIFFICULTIES HE ENCOUNTERED.
rriaJs and TrfbuIations in Which
His own Better Half Added to
His Burden.

Mr.. Mithras Hagal Nudge never sus-
pected that he was a crank. The TACT
never escaped anyone else. His parents
must have had premonition OF MS 1u-
ture when they loaded down Nudge
with the classical Biblical combination
of syIlables by which the spare,
de-whiskered slowspoken man iden-
tilted himself 1t left no chance for
mistake. It's letters on hotel register
spelled crank just as plainly as Way
cross. n. j., indicated a gentleman in
from the country to lay in full sup
ply of gold bricks. Mithras Nudge
might possibly have been a college pro-
fessor or the head of fe-
male seminary. Hagal Nudge might
have been a class leader or New Eng
land preacher. but Mithras Hagal
Nudge could only be a crank in some
form or other.
Mr.. Mudge's illusion was that he was
q reformer He did not intend to be
anything but a kindly fairly prosper
Gus, middle-aged man, and In spite or
his name might have escaped his evil
dent fate, but for his desire to beneht
the world In lot of impossible ways.
His best efforts only seemed to get him
into trouble, but the adage of Scorched
children and blazes meant nothing in
his case. Five minutes after a crush
ing knock-down he was on the lookout
for some new evil, and inside Of an hour
was at his old work Of reforming the
world with all the energy of a youth
of ten doing some other small boy S
work.
For a number of years the almost
universal habit of asking foolish queS-
tions had worried Nudge. 1t was some
thing he had always expected to attend
to in time, but other matters proved
more pressing and he put it off from
day to day until his conscience began
working overtime to remind him OF his
neglect. One night his conscience was
particularly aggressive, and Mr. Nudge
decided that other things would have
to wait while he attended to the mat
ter in mind He would not delay long
er, but would begin the very next
morning.
Are you up, dear?" was the first
thing that greeted him when he enter
ed the dining room with his resolve
fully In mind Now Nudge had not in
tended to try his cure on his wife. In
fact, he had never thought Of her in
connection with the matter at all, but
he was determined to do his duty to
the world, even If the world was his
wife.
mo, I am not yet up" he answered
slowly and In the most matter-of-fact
tone. 1T am up stairs in bed, but I
will probably be down for breakfast in
O. few moments"
Mrs Nudge was too mad to reply,
and in q woman that is dangerously
near to explosion pressure. She pour
ed his coffee in silence and sat IN dign1-
fed frigidity while he ate his toast and
eggs and oatmeal, and when he had
finished turned and went out Of the
room without a word.
1t was hardly happy beginning, but
It was evident to Nudge that he had
made one impression at least, and that
was something.
Mary, the fresh, rosy-cheeked maid,
was in the hall as he took up his hat
and critically inspected his gloves.
"Going out?" she asked, with CHEEKY
1t was cruel, for Mary was rather
a favorite, but Nudge was in for it.
mo, Mary" he replied blandly. Il
have just come in for the night"
o. A little gasp of establishment came
to his ears as he stepped out, and then
as the door closed with a vicious slam
ne knew another impression had been
recorded.
Mr.. Mudge's favorite conductor was
on the platform of the cable car that
stopped at the corner with a jerk
That was a good sign. Nudge always
liked to ride down town with him; II
seemed to start his day right.
Good morning" was the hearty
greeting, as he swung onto the plat
form.
Going down with us this morning?'
Now, this was something else Nudge
had not counted on, but he was getting
hardened to his task.
You might think Jackson" he said
solemnly, that 1 was going down will
you because I stepped on your car
but, as matter of fact, 1 am going
up on the trolley as soon as 1t comes
along"
Now, Jackson was only a rude cable
car conductor with no sense Of humor
He trod on Mr.. Mudge's corns, gave
to "step lively, now" and handed hin
twenty pennies in change, which show
ed that, in the matter Of turning
worms, Jackson was able to give the
fish-bait variety points. He also car
ried Mr.. Nudge past his corner an(
nearly threw him headlong when h
did get off. just as good measure.
Mr.. Nudge was not vindictive, an(
he was a reformer for reforms sake
fout. when he saw old Gilkins comm:
along, he felt that his days tasl
might have its compensation. Gillzin
was an old offender Nudge had born
especially in mind. Gill1ins could asl
more foolish questions than a four
year-old girl. Nudge gloated over him
why, Nudge, how are your" Gilkin'
began, Just the man I wanted to see
VIII you be at your office at 10 o'clock
An important mater. Can't stop now
see you later"
Nudge looked after him sadly, ant
then, with sigh of regret, went OF
to his work.
1t was the same thing all day. Mis-
Williams his stenographer. demure