The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-03-24

Democrat will kindly hang its harp
upon some other willow.
BLOOD ON THE MOON
The susquehanna correspondent of
the MOntruse Democrat, mentioning |
the fact that an effort Is being made |
t. place the Susquehanna public schools |
under the common school laws of the |
state, says ut will cause a religious |
war" Cole, the weather prophet, says |
we will have war. pestilence and fam !
inc this year. Hully-gee, let's arbi- !
tlatei
SPRINGTIME ECHOES.
The blue bird sat in the apple tree,
And the red bird sat in the grove:
They shivered their notes from their
little throats,
"Oh, bring us redhot stove"
Somebody's advertising in the Homes
dale Independent for "a secondhand
mill carriage dog" Now, what sort of
a Noodle canine is that? Susquehanna
is fun of second hand dogs, not worth
a mill by dam site.
There are 1850 polls in Scranton, and
the poll tax aggregates $3,7j5.-Susque-
hanna Transcript. Yes; but they are
! electric light telegraph and telephone
| poles.
Uncle Sam is having a cannon built
capable of hurting 300 pound pro-
| jeCtile twelve miles. How 1t would as
! tOnish a belated pedestrian to have
/ 1900 pound ball strike him squarely in
the small of the back! We will have
to borrow that gun when Susquehanna
| has its great religious war
a tan l,n. 4
along Tinker's creek Let us hope that
the prospecting will amount to more
than "a Tinker's -
RAILROAD RACKET
Quiet days in the picturesque and
circuitous jefferson branch.
A temperance meeting for railroad
men will be held in this place ON sun
day next.
The following Erie officials were in
town ON Monday: Washington Law
cry, of Cleveland, assistant superin-
tendent of motive power; Harry ChildS,
master mechanic in Jersey city; Jp-
seph Moore, master cnechanic i'll Bur
falo
The railroad engineer may not SHOW
up much style, but wealth and fashion
follow in his train.
An Araat correspondent writes that
it is rumOred that another railroad
will be built through that place
WHITTIER? Whence? Which?
Work is considerably on the increase
in the Erie shops. ana quite lar2e
number of men are putting in full
time.
At recent funeral hereabouts, there
were three organizations in line, one OF
.l,,,,, ia. I of IL Two of the SOcl-
eties furnished the pomp and features
nothing else. But the b. of L. r.
paid the widow $1,000. Comment is un'
necessary.
LITTLE THINGS.
A green winter makes fat doctor.
= The late Mr.. Corbett isn't much of
= theologian. He may be classed, never
theless, as an ex-pounder.
? "Sheolosy" is a foreigners revised
= pronunciation of the word jealousy
but he lands squarely as Fitzsimmons
on it,
5 A Swallow tail-the story of JONAH
+ and the whale.
Fitz is evidently a bigger and bet
ter man than Weyler.
The world may owe us all living
but if it does, in these times, many
: find it mighty hard collecting.
1t is the man who orders the room
on the top floor who takes up the mos
room in writing his name on the hote
register
=. When a fellow bids goodnight to hi
: sweetheart at the gate, the bull dos
can make up his mind that amy tim
during the next two hours will be tim
Il enough for him to pay his respects.
q ABOUT SOME ANIMALS.
II William Moore. of Cascade, was peer
ing into stone wall for a Wood-chuch
= The animal saw him first and bit off
- slice of his nose.
- A Starracca man is getting rich trof
= a dog He owes a canine which he ha
sold several times, but ii always re
turns home. no matter how far 1t
carried.
A cat raised by a Forest City man
Ia One-h half rabbit. Its head. front fee
and front of its body is like an ordin
a, airy cat, while its hind part resemble
- that of a rabbit, its tail being shol
- and perfect and when not in motto
- will sit in the same position as wOul
II a -bloOded rabbit.
u A Lainesboro COW recently died troi
. over indulging itself in lot of pastr,
"a A bakers wagon was upset in streal
-, and the COW ate several pies whic
=. tloated down.
~ Last November a Herrick man, viii
m feeding a sick cow lost a valuable goI
ring He thought the animal sWa
- lowed it. Last week the COW va
~ slaughtered and the ring found, nor
the worse for having been in the quat
80 rupeds possession for several month
- Truth is stranger than fiction.
WHITNEY.