Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1897-01-16

were broken ana ne was Dadiy DfulSeub
but we are glad to learn that he was
not fatally injured. His honor the
mayor is good natured man and does
not affect any particular dignity, but
the man who wants to see him OH Off
cial business at his office must leave his
cayuse in the street below.
About the Campaign.
The Kicker is in receipt of a number
of communications asking about its pol
icy in the coming campaign, and we
will answer all in one. This paper is
independent in politics, religion, poetry,
agriculture and everything else. No
railroad corporation dictates, and no
syndicate pays its bills, If we wanted
to weave q crown Of laurels for Captain
Kidd or pitch into the memory Of
George Washington, no outsider would
have to be consulted.
In supporting one candidate we shall
not pitch into another. In this world
of change no man can tell who is com
ing out ON top, and if it happens to be
the man you've pitched into your posi-
ton is made somewhat embarrassing
for several years subsequent.
We have no decided opinions regard
ing silver or the tariff, but we do stan.
pat on the question of the Monroe doc
trine If necessary, let us go to war to
support it, but during the continuance
of said war we shall be found at the old
stand, as heretofore.
The campaign speaker who strikes
this town and starts i'll to lie about any
of the candidates will have to leave the
hall by back window and get under
cover of the woods five minutes later
AS people we love truth and poker
and insist on square deal.
Word to Major Banks.
For the last month Major Banks of
this town has been in the habit of COM
ing into the posroffice several times
day and firing pistol through the gen
eral delivery window to attract the at
tention of the clerk who serves the pub
lie While nobody has been shot and
the noise amounts TO nothing, such ac-
tions serve to lessen the dignity which
should surround a postoffice, and we
now warn the major that he must let
up If he persists III his course, we shall
esteem it our duty and privilege to re-
turn the fire and lay him up for few
weeks. If he wants to shoot at us while
ON the street, we have no objections;
but, as the regular appointed postmas-
ter, sitting i'll our private room in the
postoffice, we demand respectful consid-
Grafton from the public. Any doctor
around town will tell Major Banks that
a bullet in the shoulder will keep him
thinking for several successive nights.
We Lay Down.
Our esteemed contemporary down the
street is out with a two column sensa-
tion regarding the little affair at the
bank last Tuesday, and he lies i'll tho
most shameful and bold faced manner,
as usual. The facts in the case are as
follows: We had just left the bank,
after making deposit of 5000. AS we
reached the sidewalk stranger, who
had been leaning against a telegraph
pole. stepped forward and thrust the
muzzle of gun within a foot of our
nose and ordered us to throw up our
hands Up they went Under the cir
cumstances we were ready to throw up
OuI HuJs buOCSg NoliCV anu ONoAy NA'NS
else we held dear on earth. The man
gave us his private opinion of the editor
| of The Kicker (who is ourself), of the
mayor (who is ourself), and the post
master (who is ourself), and his Ian
guage was emphatic and to the point.
We had little or nothing to say. We
might have died the death of hero,
but we preferred to remain on earth. A
large crowd assembled and witnessed
our humiliation, but we remained pas
sive and placid. When the cuss had had
all the fun he wanted, he walked OH.
So did We We got our guns as soon as
possible and looked for him, but he
could not be found. There isn't the
slightest question about our laying
down" before that stranger. We think
we know when we have good thing
1t was good thing to "lay down" just
then, and we entered into it with great
deal of ENTHUSIASM. Things may be diff
ferent some day, but just at present we
have very little to say and would like
to avoid the subject altogether.
He Was n Failure.
A man who gave his name as Thomas
Dayton registered at the Hotel Royal
last Wednesday and entered the dining
rOou for AiAner. He first made kick