Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-04-29
WHEN THECOOK LEFT
MRS. NOoLlWEppE HAD A HEART
BREAKING EXPERIENCE.

/ MRS. NooLlWEDDE HAD A HEART
BREAKING EXPERIENCE.
Like . Good Housewife, She Prepared
| Luncheon, but It Put . had Taste In
Georges Mouth-whiIe He Was Gone to
the Drug store Old Friends Called.
She was in tears, and her dearest
friend sought to comfort her.
"What is it?" she asked. "Has some
body given a reception and slighted you
just when you have new gown? Or
have you the invitation and not the
gown?"
"N-neither. Oh, it is something per.
fectly awfulr'
Him! suppose, then, your husband
has been treating you badly. Well. as
long as he has you might relieve your
mind by telling me all about it,"
HE hasn't either-I'd just like to sec
him try it! No; the-the c-cook is
gone"
"Pshaw! Is that all? Well, don't cry.
I'll stay and help you. Let me see, I
used to make lovely omelet at school.
It was cooked in dustpan. Oh, do let
us give dinner party! Hasn't George
some nice friends whom he might ask?"
"Ye-es, he-he has. wish had never
seen any Of them! wish had put off
the wedding a year! wish had let
Georges old maid aunt come to live
with us!'
The visitor looked alarmed. "You
haven't any fever, have you, dear? And
does your head feel quite right?"
"No, it doesn't. Get me another
hand handkerchief, and I'll tell you all
about it. Just look at me, will you, and
tell me what I look like"
"I'd rather not, dear. You might not
like it. II suppose you have been try
ing to clean the SCOT out of the kitchen
chimney, haven't you?"
"No, but I've been trying to cook
luncheon. George said he didn't feel
quite we'll after it was over, and he
went over to the-the drug store to get
something to take queer taste out of
his mouth. I don't see why he need act
that way when had the lovcliest roses
on the table and other things too!'
"Well, don't be low spirited. Well
manage dinner, and there are lots of in
telligence offices in town, We-can buy
things ready cooked too.
Il don't care. just dom care for
anything. can never hold up my head
again as long as l live"
"You don't mean to say that George
took too much of something to take the
queer taste out of his MOUTH"
"Of course I don't mean anything of
the kind, and you are not a true friend
or you'd never suggest such thing. I
cried little after he went out, and /
must have got some SCOT on my face and
rubbed it in. Just then the doorbell
rang, and, thinking the cook had per-
haps relented and returned, I ran to an
swer it. 1t was not the cook, and, oh,
Laura, who do you think it was?"
81 don't know. Your mother-in-law
perhaps
II wish it had been my mother-in-
law. She can cook. No; twas that hor.
rid girl George used to be engaged to
before he ever knew me. | never met
her, but recognized her from her photo
graphs.
eff you never met her, how do you
know she is horrid?'
''Humph! Any girl who could not
get along with George must be horrid.
Besides he has no taste at ALL can
never see trace of beauty in the WON
en- he calls pretty"
But tell me about opening the door. 1"
"Oh, when came face to face with
her thought should die! Her husband
was with her. Neither of them of course
knew me, and''-
II should think not, if you looked as
you do now How did you manage to
tear your gown sop
Caught it on a nail. They both
smiled when they saw me and asked if
Mrs. Nooliwedde was at home. I saw
they thought I was the maid, and, as
Stunning brogue-you know I was al
ways good at amateur theatricals-I
said: Faith, and that she is not. Who
shall say was afther askin for her?' +"
ooh, you clever girl! Why, should
never have thought of such thing-not
in a thousand years.
Eyes, wasn't it clever? But while
she was taking out cards and expressing
regrets heard George come in the back
way. In my agony lest he come out and
betray me, ran back to the dining
room door, but before could stop him
he cried out, What is it, darling?'"
"You don't say SO! Did they hear
him, and WHAT
II caught look of frozen horror On
their faces as they turned and fed down
the steps. Oh, thought 1 should just
die, and II wish had"
But perhaps, after all, they really
thought you were the housemaid."
George says he-he hopes not, for
in that case what would they think of
him for c-calling me 'darling?'"
And there was a sound of weeping in
the room.-Elisa Armstrong in New
York Journal.