davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
HUMOROUS

Tommy Cwho has been reading his1
tory)-"Are kings always good. papa?1
His Father-"No, not always. my sons
they are not very good when they rum
up against aces."-Truth. n
-Myra-'That Miss Beare puts on
. good deal of style when she goes TO
the opera" Minnie-"WeI, good gra-
cious! The woman's got to put on
neutrality-suspicious. Statesman.
Taste in Selection.-"What did you
think of my speech, Mrs. TactlyT@
asked the sapisnt young statesman
st thought some of your quotations
perfectly grand."-Detroit Free Press.
The Pretty Girl-"Miss Smuther
was named after her uncle George,
wasn't she?" The Bright One-"I don't
know. She looks as if she was named
before him."-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
kind of a Man He Was.--"Did he,
carry any life insurance." they asked,
the widow. "a little" she replied.
TOO bad you didn't take out a htttell
fire insurance on him, too" they sug-
gested.-Chicago Evening Post.
How He Figured It.-Violet-"How
did Mr.. Bighead come to accept the
doctrine of reincarnation?" Rose
swell, you know, he always had an inn
preston that the world couldn't get
along without him, and if that is so, It
stands to reason that he will have to
come back."-Truth.
No Cooperation Required.-First
Tramp-'I read about dat trial, an de
judge told him he needn't ter say any
thing dat would incriminate him. Sec
ond Tramp-"Well, ] s'pose dat was be-
cuz dey had enough evidence to send
him to Sing Sing widout any assistance
from him."-Brooklyn Life.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
HOW NOT TO r
The Vigorous Outburst of a Victim
lied Patient.

The Vigorous Outburst of a Victim-
lied Patient.
Helen Hunt Jackson, in a letter to
her physician, destribes a stupid nurse
as follows:
Can 1 endure the presence of this
surly, aimless COW another day? No!
Why?
She has less faculty than any human
being 1 ever undertook to direct in
small matters.
When 1 ask her to bring me anything,
she rises slowly with a movement like
nothing 1 ever saw in my life, unless it
be a derrick.
She signs and drops her under jaw
after every exertion.
She "sets" with a ponderous inertia
which produces on me the most remark
able effect. l have a morbid impulse
to fling my shoes at her head and see
what would come of it.
She asks me in dismal tones if / am
well in other ways besides my throat,
conveying the impression by her slow
rolling eyes that 1 look to her like a
bundle of unbelievable diseases.
She takes the tray out of a trunk to
get some article at the bottom (where
articles always are), and having given
me the article asks helplessly if she
shall put the tray back again. Happy
thought.) Next time I'll tell her: NO,
we keep the trays in piles on the floor"
Is this Christian? No, for she is
well-meaning and wishes to do Alright,
and 1 don't doubt every glance of my
eye sends a thrill of i~nexplainable dis
comfort through her.
But as a professional nurse she is the
biggest joke 1 ever saw.-Every Where.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
4 Warning to Bathers.

The oft-repeated warning to surf.
bathers, and particularly to those who
dive, to protect their ears from the
water by cotton plugs, etc., is not gen.
orally needed, to judge by the damage
often traced to its neglect. They who
have lost the membrane need to be
especially careful, and to give up div
ing. The tympanum is readily protect
ed by the cotton plugs firmly intro
duced, but in diving even then the
air in the nasal fossae, accessory sim
uses, and naso-pharynx is compressed
and partially escapes by the EustachisnI
tubes, and in consequence the water en-
ters so far and high in the nasal fossae
as to painfully irritate the pituitary
membrane, and leads to ~protracted CON
acknowledgements. .
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
OUTSIDE
A Work That Is Too Often Neglected
by Housekeepers.


The last parts of a house to be cleaned
are the piazza and the various portions
of the base which are spattered with
mud stains after the winter SHOWS and
spring rains. This is a work which
many housekeepers neglect or relegate
to the outside workers. In a small
house, where the immediate premises
of the house, as well as the inside, are
under the care of the housekeeper, this
is certainly a part of the housekeeping.
If all parts of the woodwork of the
p~iaZzas and the base of a house, as far
as it is splashed with mud, be carefully
cleaned it adds a great deal to its neat
appearance. 1t is not often necessary
to do this work more than twice a yea
at the season of the semi-annual clean
ings. A good stepladder is necessary
for this work, one of the light-handled
ceiling brooms used to sweep ceilings,
and other brushes. Brush the ceiling
of the piazzas, thoroughly removing all
cobwebs and dust. Dust the openwork
cornice and the balustrade and wipe
them off with a damp cloth. Brush off
the side of the house, the window casing
and the blinds included in the piazza in
clear, cold water, unless the blinds have
been already washed and wiped with
the other blinds when the inside of the
house was cleaned. Sometimes the dark
woodwork of the piazzas may be i'm
proved by rubbing thoroughly with a
mixture of two parts pure and raw lin
seed oil and one part turpentine. This
removes the gray look which in time
dark paint often The oil must
be thoroughly rubbed in with a firm cot
ton cloth, if it is used. The base of the
piazza and house above the stonework
| should be thoroughly brushed with a
stiff broom, and then busted. Brush
the stonework of the foundation also.
See that the sod grows close to the
house t. keep the foundations from be-
ing muddy. A foot or more of clean
gravel is sometimes placed next the
foundations of a house to prevent them
being splashed. 1t is a better protec-
ton than the thickest sod if coarse peb-
bles are used. Where there is no such
protection, every rain spatters the
house more or less. and 10 care can
keep it neat. After thoroughly busting
the base of the piazza and house take a
pail of cold water and a stiff whisk
brush and scrub over its surface, using
a soft cloth to dry it as fast as it is
washed. Change the water as often as
it becomes too sandy to use. and con-
tinue the work until it is done. The
base of a house should always be paint
ed a rather dark color, not a light shade.
as so many houses are. A light base is
not only more easily soiled and requires
more care to keep in order, but it gives
the house a weak look, inconsistent
with the digniied, substantial appear
ance which a dwelling house should
haye.-N. Y. Tribune.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
THE LIGHTHOUSE SERVICE.

Pathetic Letter of q Woman WhS
Bore the Anxieties OF h Life.
Mr.. Kobbe quotes the following let
ter, written to a friend by Mrs. Grant,
who lived for many years or White
Head, off the Maine coast: Sometimes
1 think the time is not far distant when
1 shall climb these lighthouse stairs
no more. It has almost seemed to me
that the light was a part of myself
When we had care of the old lard-oil
lamps on Matinicus rock, they were
more difficult to tend than these lamps
are, and sometimes they would not burn
so well when first lighted, especially
in cold weather when the oil got cool.
Then, some nights 1 could not sleep a
wink all night, though 1 knew the keep
er himself was watching. And many
nights l have watched the lights my
part of the night, and then could not
sleep the rest of the night, thinking
~nervously what might happez should
the light fail.
In all these years I always put the
lamps in order in the morning, and
I lit them at sunset. Those old lamps
AS they were when my father lived
on Matinicus rock-are so thoroughly
impressed on my memory that even
now l often dream Of them. There were
IA lamps and IA relectors. When I
dream of them it always seems to me
that 1 have been away a long while,
and I am trying to get back in time
to light the lamps. Then l am half
way between Matinicus and White
Head, and hurrying toward the rock
to light the lamps there before sunset.
Sometimes 1 walk on the water, ome
times I am in a boat, and sometimes
I seem going in the air-I must always
see the lights burning in both places
before 1 wake. always go through the
same scenes in cleaning the lamps and
lighting them, and 1 feel a great deal
more worried in my dreams than when
I am awake.
Iwonder if the are of the lighthouse
will follow my soul after it has left
this WORKOUT body? If I ever have Q
gravestone, I would like it to be in tho
form of a lighthouse or beacon.-Gustav
Kobbe, in Century.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
Daily ~OccupatiOn.

1t is not unusual to Danish from this
portion of life any idea or hope of peace.
That is kept for the evening, when labor
is over, and the comforts of home and
rest take it's place; or it is reserved for
the evening of life, when exertion ceases
and energy droops; or it is relegated to
some time in the future, when sufficient
means have been secured to make work
appear unnecessary. 1t stands for the
realization in some way of ease, COM
fort, leisure, luxury, opportunity. On
the other hand, toll, effort, hardship,
struggle are all put in opposition to it.
Thus men will often live lives of labor
and sacrifice, hoping by this mean to
obtain peace and tranquility when the
toll is over. But, to unite the two, to
enjoy peace in toll, tranquility in effort,
seldom occurs to them. Yet no peace
worth having exists without power, and
power must have its outlet in activity.
N. Y. Ledger.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
EInnneI In Simmer.

1t is a mistake 10 abandon the wear.
.ng of Hannels in summer, considering
the sudden changes of III climate-the
cratic conditions of the atmosphere
which sometimes gives us a July day
colder and more bleak than one in JAN
uary. A good way to wash ordinary
flannel is to pour strong, boiling soap
suds over it in a tub. When cool
enough TO allow the hand to bear it,
pour off the suds and add boiling hot
clean water; let this stand as before,
then pour off and add more boiling
clearwater. When cool enough, squeeze
the garments, but do not wiring or rub.
Stretch Immediately on a line in the
hot sun or by a hot fire, pressing out the
water with the hand, as it settles in the
dependent parts of the garments.
Stretch the flannel as soon as the water
is pressed out, keeping it hot until dry,
as much as possible. This treatment
will keep wooden garments soft and
,liable till worn out.-Housewife.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
Population of Russia.

The St. Petersburg Noyoe Vremya
says that the Russian census gives q
population for the empire of 127,0OO,-
600, exclusive of the grand duchy Of
Finland, which takes its own census.
Some other figures have still to be add
ed from the uttermost parts of Siberia,
as well as the nomad tribes of the
steppes and the mountaineers of the
Caucasus. where an exceptional snow
fall delayed the work till spring. The
full total is expected not to be 'tnder
100. 900. OOO.3Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
MY

My Ereat-great-grandsire titled the soil
And felled tall pines on slope and hill,
His homespun garments but the foil
That swathed a man Of iron will.
And yet when winters race was run,
And came the springtime's first caress,
his nature warmed before the sun
And melted into tenderness.
He knew the fields, he knew the woods,
SCR nature was his guiding star,
And sermon found in solitudes
Where only natures teachings are.
he marked the gentian of the brooks
And paused where honeysuckles hung,
And rested where in widest hooks
The lone arbutus trailing chung,
Where lowered up the bristling head
OF some colossus of the pines,
Like a great stag with antlers spread
The monarch of a thousand tines.
And with his rod or hintlock gun
He whipped the pools or led the chase,
Tracked the black bear till set of sun
And slew him in his hiding place.
And thus he lived an outdoor life
With sight of flower and bird n bee,
With yoke of oxen, and a wife
With children playing at her knee.
A murrain on your coats-of-arms-
He did his best, as mortal can,
Wrung a rough living from the farms
And lived and died an honest man.
Ernest McGafey, in n. Y. Truth.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
Minced Beef.teak.

Take three-quarters of a pound OF
round steak from the upper round, chop
or grind it as fine as possible, then form
it into three round balls. F1atten them
to one-quarter of an inch thick; place
q frying pan with half a tablespoonful
of butter oyer the fire. When hot put
In the meat, and fry about four minutes
on each side, turning the steaks twice
during that time. Meanwhile, stir half
tablespoonful butter with half tea
spoonful salt and one-eighth teaspoon
full pepper to a a Lay the steaks
IN a hot plate, spread the creamed but
Ter on both sides and serve.-St. Louia
Republic.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10

A report of a queer lawsuit comes
from Eastkill. a hamlet in the heart
of the Catskill mountains. The plain
tiff is Ole Halyerson, a Swede, who
cultivates a small farm on the noun
tain side. He il suing Rev. j. G. Remer-
ton, a German Lutheran minister, for
damages for christening his baby by
a name which was not to his liking.
Halverson is a patriotic Swede and
wanted the child named after King Os-
car. The minister claims that he chris
tened the baby according to the wishes
of it's mother.-N. Y. Sun.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
A x
Which Has Some Indications of q
Tragedy.

lEHScuy.
Mrs. Tabitha Jones lifted high her
Connecticut nose, breathed deeply the
balmy air of south Texas, and listened.
From the kitchen region, through the
opel window, came distinctly these
words: Now git down dar on dem
Goals, you debble, an stay dar."
Mrs. Tabitha's Puritan blood was
aroused. Hits all erlong OBJ you eff
dinna's late, but / speck l don fix you
now, you raskil." Had the black wom-
an, in a fit of passion and carried away
by atavistic savagery and cannibalism,
sacrificed her own offspring? And Mrs.
T%abitha's mind reverted to Aunt Gym
thia's small woolly prototype, which
two days before had arrived along with
Aunt C%ynthia's clothes and other eff
fects. Her sympathies had halted at
this little creature when she saw it
deposited on her kitchen floor, but now
its humanity called to her.
With trembling courage she stepped
quickly and softly to the kitchen and
slowly advanced her head beyond the
edge of the open door. The smell of
burning flesh filed her nostrils. At
the front of the stove stood Aunt
Cynthia; in erhand, lifted threatening
" was a large flesh fork; on her lips this
final taunt: Now 1 'speck you gwine
tie behave yo'sef!" and she jabbed Wig
orously at something hidden from Mrs.
Tabitha by the stove.
Looking up, the negress caught sight
of the pale, rigid face projected just
beyond the jam of the door. She ut
tered j loud scream, dropped the fork,
and half fell against the kitchen table.
An ashen hue settled over her dark face
as she gazed at the apparently dissev-
cred head, and it was not until Mrs.
Tabitha finally presented her full figure
at the doorway that Aunt Cynthia was
able to speak.
"What done happen in de house, Miss
Bithy? Is you seen a ghostie?" she
gasped. Making a great effort to eff
GENTLY oppose her civilization to the
barbarism confronting her, Mrs. Ia
bitha said, in a quavering voice: Gym
thia, 1 know what you have done, and
you'd ought not to done it,"
Aunt Cynthia began to ecove
"Lo'd Gowd, Miss Bithy, what's l
done?"
"Where is your baby?" solemnly.
"Pomp? He's asleep-dey amt nuf.
fin hut him, his it?" and with sudden
fright the negress hurried to an adj
joining room. almost Immediately re-
turning with a small bundle of black
and whitehall asleep, but intact.
SLOW you done skeer me, Miss Bithy!"
A faint color began to show on Mrs.
Tabitha's cheeks. Crossing the kitchen,
she walked around to the front of the
stove. "Where'd you get that chicken"
she asked, severely, pointing to the
half-cooked fowl on the broiler.
" seen dat chicken walkin' roun' like
he's los, Miss Bithy, so 1 dess ketch
him an cook him fur dinna," and she
continued to apostrophize the guilty
bird while she shook down fresh Goals.
With her other arm she tenderly sup
ported the baby against her shoulder
n, Y, journal.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
HOUSEHOLD BITS.
Odd Items of Information on Matters
Domestic.

DOInestlc.
A medical journal inveighs against
rocking, warning its adherents that
the soothing feeling which it superin-
duces is really a mild congestion of the
brain. This, it is cited, is as applicable
to the woman's rocking chair as to the
baby's cradle.
At the silversmith's are to be found
oblong, fiat silver trays, trays that are
to hold the blocks of ice which serve for
any one of several dinner or luncheon
courses.
Englishwomen complain when they
come over here that they never get a
cup of hot tea. This will not seem
strange to any American who has par
taken of that beverage in an English
home, where it is served-and drunk by
the natives-at the boiling point.
A gardener, one of the observant, old
fashioned sort, who knows that the best
sap comes from hill maple trees, and all
those shades of plant and tree lore, gives
a suggestion that may be of value to
suburban residents. 1t is in relation to
the current worm, which he says can be
kept away, or, if established, driven
away, by a sprig of pine thrust in the
center of each bush.
Chemists protest against the preju-
dice held by most ~housekeepers towards
~cottonseed oil. They claim it to be very
unjust. Such oil is pronounced whole'
some and having good food value by
some of the most careful scientists, and
its use is preferable to that of much
of the lard in the market. The oil of a
seed is certainly cleaner in its asso-
citation as well as actually than that OF
an animal.-N. Y. Post.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
Nerroe. Losing VnIue.

Northerner-If the negroes Go pot
prosper in freedom, how do you explain
the fact that their average wealth now
is $500 apiece?
Southerner-Three hundred dollahs!
What's that? Why, befoh the wah they
couldn't have been bought fob $500
apiece. No, sahi-N. Y. Weekly.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-10
what Pierced the Gloom

perkins is a dismal pessimist. but
heard him laugh heartily this morn
ing"
'sWhat occasioned his merrimentr
"A scorcher ran into . milk wagon
and broke his wheel. al TO pieces
Detroit Free Press
The Saint Paul globe., 1897-05-21
SOUTHERN HOTEL BURNED.
Wild Panic, but Fortunately No
Loss of Life.

MERIDIAN, Miss. May 2O.-The
Southern hotel, one Of the finest blocks
Of its kind in the South, was damaged
to the extent of $4,000 by fire early
this morning. The fire broke out in
the kitchen on the top floor, and spread
with such rapidity that the firemen
had hard time saving the block from
destruction. The hotel was we'll filed
with guests and wild panic ensued
when the alarm was sounded, but so
far as known, no lives were lost,
though there were several narrow es-
oapes. There were a number of stores
and offices on the ground floor of the
hotel building, all of which suffered
great damage from fire and water.
The fire was miserably managed on
the part Of the volunteer firemen, and
has created such dissatisfaction that
it will probably result in the abolition
OF volunteer fire protection, and the
establishment Of a paid department.
by the city government. The money
and books Of the First National bank
were safely removed to the Meridian
National bank. The Southern hotel
will be rebuilt.
The Saint Paul globe., 1897-05-21
CHICAGO LINES CAN NOT FORM A
LOCAL PASSENGER ASSO.
CJATION.
AT LEAST NOT AT PRESENT.
THREE LONGEST LINES HOLD OUT
FOR REASONS OF THEIR
OWN,
ELECTRIC POWER TO THE LAKE
President Hayes Says the Duluth
Has Never Even Thought of 1t
Seriously.

The Chicago, Burlington & Northern,
Chicago,St. Paul, Minneapolis & Omaha
and the Chicago, Milwaukee & st. Paul
roads made another attempt yesterday
to revive the local passenger associa-
ton, but the three roads named were
the only ones which were willing to
adopt the new agreement. However,
the roads named decided to continue
the association, and G. r. Davidson
was elected local secretary.
The Local Passenger association is
supposed to comprise all Of the six lines
running to Chicago. The object Of the
association is to maintain rates, but
since the majority of the Western
roads became panicky over the Trans
Missouri decision, little reference Is
made to maintaining tariffs. The real
use of the new local association will
then be to keep tab on the local mar
kets and see who is doing the cutting.
The fact that the Great Western, Wis
consin Central and Minneapolis & st.
Louis will not enter the association
does not necessarily mean that they
are going to cut rates. They are the
weaker lines, however, and claim that
if they go into the association their
chances to secure a proper division of
business will be very slim.
One of the objects Of the local asso-
citation is to look after the scalpers.
This class of individuals of late have
been keeping very quiet. The new
mileage bureau which Western roads
have placed in operation has effect
ually stopped the traffic in mileage
books. BY the new system, a CONNER
cial traveller buys a book and signs
receipt for it in the office Of the selling
agent. If the agent does not use all
the book, and wants to recover the
money on the unused portion. he no
longer goes to the scalper, for the scalp
er is afraid to buy. The drummer sends
his receipt to the mileage bureau, which
institution has collected all the mile
age strips torn from the book by the
conductors. The signatures on these
strips are compared with the signature
in the inside Of the book, the signature
on the agents receipt, and the sigma
ture on the application for a refund on
the unused portion. If all is correct
the mileage bureau sends a draft for
lIe dIIiouHt W lle lOCdl dSeuI VIII OIlS-
inally sold the book. No scalper's GUS
toner will apply for the refund, even
if he had the book in his possession at
one time, for he is not willing to forge
the real owners name to draft, even
though he might have been willing to
forge the mileage book. Local agents
said yesterday that the scheme works
to a nicely and that the work of the
local secretary has been reduced to a
minimum.
The Saint Paul globe., 1897-05-21
PARIS AGREEMENT STANDS.
Canada Declines to Consent to ANY
Modification of If

OTTAWA, Ont, May 2O-A state
ment was made by the government, in
the house Of commons last night, that,
on account Of much dissatisfaction
among the Americans concerned in the
Ber1ng sea seal fisheries, the govern
ment had represented to the imperial
government the urgent necessity Of
amending the rules laid down by the
Paris arbitrators. in order to allay the
irritation occasioned among the
American sealers by the operation OF
the regulations. The British govern
ment had referred the request to the
Canadian government, being the par
ties mainly affected by the proposal
of the United States. The Canadian
government, however, saw no reason
to accept the proposed amendment to
the present sealing regulations, and
had therefore refused to consent. The
result is that there will be no modifica-
ton of the Paris agreement, which will
go on undisturbed in it's operations
until it is albrogated by effiuxion OF
time. The agreement has effect for five
years, dating from 1893.