The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-10-08
. B RHAPSODY.

The great warrior sat and smoked a
cigar, says the Chicago News. He was
full Of anger. madness and table d'hote
and things.
"Ah," he cried and shook as IL with
palsy, Il am undone.' He called for his
grand responsiveness for the Pacifcos.
"Ah." he repeated, when this one ap-
peared, Il am undone."
And his grand responsiveness, ETC..
again, however, and stood with lowered
brow. All" he muttered, two feet six
inches below his breath, and / had that
klondyke bunkc agent transported yes
terday. There must have been two of
them"
Then aloud:
Vast list. your most exaltable exalt-
edness?" h said, what makes you
think your %cervical vertebrate will flavor
the forthcoming Julienne?
This" shrieked the great warrior.
waving a square of yellow paper with
one hand and covering his eyes sadly
with the other, Know, fool, that, by
this dispatch a royal commission is due
tomorrow to inquire into the whichnes Of
things hereabouts."
The did his grand responsiveness cry
out with fear.
Bride EN-" he faltered. But the great
warrior shook his head.
They wouldn't accept our money as a
bribe,' he said; they intend to take it,
anyway"
Lets put them outside the walls,
where the Cubans will get them"
No the great warrior af-
ter a smile of hope had flared up in his
face and fickered out. 1.-The great de-
%tective inspectoriabus, Jonshay, might
"Ah, say no more" replied his grand
responsiveness, shuddering with fear.
And for two seconds they remained
thought. They came out Of this. now
ever, and his grand responsiveness ex-
hibited an idea which he had hshed up.
.Eureka" he cried: And eommuni-
smiled and shrieked with joy.
And the next day when the royal COM
mission arrived they were taken out in
to the grand public square of the city
/ while before them were paraded 500 Pa
cifcos bedraggled and out at elbows.
See" said the great warrior, pointing
to the 500 downcast Pacificos, soon we
shall have the whole Of them and the war
will be ended"
And the commissioners were delighted
This is great" they said, and rubbed
it they had. however, and they took
them out again.
$50 these are Pacifcos," they said, and
went among them and rubbered with
And the Pacificos answered, yes" they
| Paciicos.'
Where We're you captured?" asked the
commissioners.
"Ah," sadly said the 500, as they hung
down their heads, 1--WE were looking for
supper; the voice of hunger called US into
a clump of trees and we ran into an am
bush of ten Spanish soldiers"
Ten" gasped the commissioners.
Yes, but think yer honors," answered
the 500 loudly; 1.-The Great Warrior was
there and we were surprised and"
Enough" cried the royal commission
ers. They turned to the Great Warrior.
Most superlative of men," they said,
with tears of joy in their eyes, you are
1000, 1876 times greater than the ominscient
ineffability Emperor Willie conceives for
himself"
And they went away after loading the
Great Warrior with decorations and
themselves with all the Klondyke real
stuff in sight. And, after their departure
the Great Warrior and his Grand Re
sponsibleness for the Pacificos fell into
each others arms and shrieked for joy.
"Saved!' they cried.
Incidentally, the next day 500 Spanish
soldiers received enough of their seven
teen months overdue back pay to pur-
chase a quarter section Of a square meal,
and for an additional reward they were
permitted to shoat the only genuine Pa
cifico in acmp.