The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-10-13
4 JOKE ON ARTeMus WARD.
Tho Humorist Got the Worst of 1t In {.
lit OF Horseplay.

Ahc humorist Got tho Worst of It In
lit OF Horscplay.
The Booliman has an interesting article
on Artcmus Ward, dealing ut oonsidcra bio
length with his experiences in London.
When he nntle his first appearance in that
city, he enriched his programmes with "a
note explaining that ho would call on citi-
Zcns ut their residences and explain any
jokes that they did not understand, and it
Is said That sherc was reason enough In
such nm ofIcr, in view of tho fact that
'ohn Bright, the eminent statesman, was
reported to have remarked after attending
one of the humorst's performances:
must say can't SEQ what people find
to enicy IN this lecture. The information
Is merger ard is presented in dcsultory,
disconnected manner. In fact, can't help
seriously questioning some of tho state
ments."
Artemus Wand was fond of telling sto-
ries and jokes at his own expense, and no
hud IA habit WHEN upon tho lecture plat
form OF purposely making people laugh ut
his own awlwnrdnoss, hut no had one OK
pcricnoe that he never referred to. Dur
ing "a part of tho time that no lived i'm
Cleveland no resided at fashionable
boarding house on Seneca street and was
in tho habit OF cutting up all sorts of Gu
pers there, to tho amusement sometimes,
puo 40 Oibeii W NnO COHSlcTIltUlOn, OIL tDC
other bonrdcrs, most of whom looked uDon
him as n "half baked fool"
One of his favorito jokes was to scnre
women nearly to death by pretending to
fall down stairs. Tho pnrlor where tho
boardcrs congrcgated was connected by a
large arch with the hall, whore tho stair
wny was, practically making one big room
of both. Every time q now bearder or a
stranger happened to be present Mr..
Browne, as he was known around the
house. would cough at tho top of tho stair
way to attract attention. then pretend to
trip on something and go tumbling head
long downward, always managing to
catch the railing and thus escape injury
The women would, Of course yell and
make great fuss over him whom no picked
himself up, and no would generally man
age to got off some droli remark that
would set everybody laughing.
But this sort of thing got tirosome after
awhile, and one day some of the men
boardcrs decided to stop it. A young lady
had just arrived at the house, and it was
foregono conclusion thnt Browne would
take his customary tumble at the first op-
portunity. So, promising the lnndlady
that they would have things properly re-
paired after tho trouble was over, the jok-
or's enemies sawed tho spindlcs in tho bal
ustrade almost in two, leaving tho rail SO
that slight wrench would break IL loose.
That evening all tho boarders congre-
gated in the parlor, tho newly arrived
young lady, who had been let into the So
cret, among them. They didn't have long
to wait for their victim. In passing up to
his room Browne saw that q stranger was
present, and. after making his toilet, he
started to go down stairs. He coughcd
loudly several times while passing through
the upper hall, and then, when he saw
that everybody was looking at him, STUN
bled and shot out into tho air
But when no graspcd the rail Of the bal
ustrade there was sharp crack, followed
by crash, and the man who nfterward
bocamo famous as A. Ward lny stunned ut
the bottom of tho stairs, with % skinned
elbow and n bleeding noso.
That ended the stairway joke, and
Browne soon moved to another boarding
house.