The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1897-10-13
THEY FIGHT TT OUT.
HOW ENGLISH ARMY OFFICERS SET
Tile THEIR DIFFERENCES.

Tile THEIR DIFFERENCES.
The Plcbelan and the Peer-How One
Regiment Was Opened to Others Than
onshoots of the rcerage How "NIoIIy'
Crushed the Cheeky Younsster.
In view of the disgraceful duel be
tween tho Duke of Orleans and the
Count of Turin we publish tho follow
ing article which shows tho manner in
which British officers settle disputes:
Officers have their disagreements, of
course, like other mon, and they have
to be settled. Dueling is forbidden by
law as we'll as by modern ideas and
common sense. Complaints respecting
attractions on mess etiquette or of un-
gentlemanly or msoldierly conduct may
be submitted to the mess committee, tho
punitive powers of which arc extremely
farreaching. The life of an officer "sent
to Coventry 10y his fellows is unendura-
BILE, and his only chance is to exchange
But all this is moral suasion only,
and in tho end disputes arc frequently
settled by resort to first principles
tho rule of tist-while redress is some.
times obtained in ways rs drastic ms
they arc novel
A gentleman joined crack cavalry
regiment He had no pedigree or fami.
ly to recommend him. In fact, his fa-
thor was retired brewer. and by tho
seions of nobility among his comrades
he was rather coldly received
Arc you tho son of Dash, the brew.
cr?' inquired ono OF these,
II am F"
"Then why didn't your father bring
you up TO his trade?'
ooh, WELL you're tho son of Lord
Blank, aren't you?''
Yes"
"Then why didn't he bring you up
gentleman?3
The upshot of this was n rough and
tumble, wherein was demonstrated that
in the army II plebeian is the equal of
peer-if he can box ns we'll
Another gentleman from the ranks of
trade camo homo one day to find all the
crockery and breallable articles in his
rooms smashed, the same being intend
cd by the wreelfers rs delicate hint
that his presence among them was oh
jectionablc
He was lato for dinner that evening
and apologized To the president of tho
mess for it, explaining what had hap.
poned-that he had been to tho rooms
of the three he suspected and returned
the compliment; if ho had wronged
any, he would apologize and restore tho
articles; if he had hit ON tho right ones,
they could have satisfaction in the rid
ing school after dinner
Accordingly, after dinner two Of
them received satisfaction in full, In
Corbett, i'll drill time, but tho third
proved tougher nut TO crack, and tho
big hearted pleheian (who, by the bye,
is now II gcEoraD, weakened by his ex-
ertions. Nvas gattiup s4asa.el, s,aaetl>-
or of the same social status who was
an expert boxer took up the running.
He soon finished off tho third man
and obligingly offered to talso on any
one who sympathizcd with the trio by
this means-appropriato to their pro-
lfN0ipll 'Il'0f WV blll'flh OIFIltl tflt
door in that regiment to others than
ofshoots Of tho peerage, by whom it
had previously been regarded az u pre-
serve.
Among officers exchanging from ono
regiment to another is common. One
little man, II Lieutenant, incurred tho
cnmity of the men of his troop by con.
tinually finding fault and rubbing it in
by contrasting them unfavorably with
his late corps till they hated tho very
namo Of the "Pmks," as we'll call
them.
Not only tho rank and file, but the
noneommissioncd officers, came in for
his animadyersion till it got unbcarablc,
and ut last tho troop sergeant major
told tho captain quietly that there
would be mutiny in the troop before
long if it continued.
1t SO happened that no had also car
ried his insulting comparisons into the
mess and as he wouldn't take advice
and drop it" his brother officers took
the matter into their own hands, with
the result that one cold night in Febru.
airy there was hubbub within the Off
GERS quarters, II window was presently
opened, and little Joey" clad only in
his niBhtshirt, was handed out seized,
placed and held down in handbarrow,
wheeled off to the manure heap and
there shot out, to make his way back to
bed as best he could He soon after left
the regiment
The antipodcs Of this gentleman was
an officer i'll tho same regiment, IN
lrishman, q feet 2 and big in proper
ton, but his "go" was not proportion
alto to his size. He was too big and apa-
tbetic for cavalry captain In fact,
his nickname, "Molly," well describes
him. Ono cheeky" youngster appeared
to think he could take any liberties
with such an easy going mountain Of
flesh, and in the billiard room one night
he carried his impudcnce beyond all
reason
MOLLY" said nothing. IIe simply
dropped his cue, picked the offender up
and sat him violently down ON side ia
bic, ignorant or needless Of tho fact
that upon it were standing glasses and
decanters
1t was come time before the surgeons
picked the last piece Of glass out Of the
impairment one and weeks before he
could appear in the saddle again II is
scarcely necessary to say that ho gave
Molly" Maguire a wide berth after
that Pearson S Weekly.
trimming with Charity.