St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1897-07-24

ue was SOluS AItCT, ana Inc0 ne put
in and wept few stanzas. But he
couldn't make the mill grind with the
water which had passed. About that
time traveller rid by. and as he come up
the hill his horse was slipping and slidin
fore and aft.
Good mornin. Bud" says the trav-
eler.
"Mornin," says the boy.
This blamed old hill is as slick as
soap. amt il? ?" says the traveller.
Soap! soap! soap!" says the boy as
he headed fresh for town and went OF
In trot to fetch the necessaries.
One New Soap Story.
But there is one more soap story
which never have heard exceptin when
I told it with my own mouth, and told
1t on my own individually self. On gen.
eral principles, to speak the unwashed
truth, would ruther not tell it now.
But old people tell me that anything
which won't kill will fatten, and for
the common good of the risen genera
ton here she goes:
Oncst upon a time 1 was travelin on
. railroad train through the broad and
bloomin state of Mississippi. That was
way back there in my gay and gorgeous
gallin days, and like the average Ameri-
can youngster will do, had let blame
fool notion take up with me to the gem
eral extent that I was good lookin-
q right tolerable handsome and mag
nolious cuss, you understand. OF course
/ can now see wherein was foolin my
rusty self in those regards. In short,
friends and fellow citizens,
Il oncst was lost but now I'm found.
Was blind but now see"
Now there was a man in the cars SELL
In fancy cake soap. Every oncst In
awhile he would come through preach
ing forth the extra fine qualities of that
soap. and sellin a cake to every man
which had two bits to spare 1t was
the gonebyest most marvelsome soap
in the whole united world, and the hui
man race had never saw anything like
1T, to let him sing the song. It was
SOtsonly sweet NeAted. but it was far
rrcachin and go fetchin. If you wanted
to shave your whiskers on one good
lather would last for six weeks to come
And tired man could put q cake of
that soap under his pillow when he
went to bed at night and wake up the
next inornin with cleaM sliAve and
fresh shampoo. And so on and SO forth.
NoH, in my day and gem ration have
seen a whole passle of people. hryt and
last. But white people, did think in
my soul that soap man Mae my yonder
the most ugliest Twin gprtal man I
had ever laid eyes upon. In the main
time had listened to hiooohS service
and his sirmont on soap till was plum
weak and weary anyhow, and then,
with the vain hopes Of changin the
tune. put my n866fh AZ: =
Twill fthatstAepuI fine soap make
ugly people pritty?" saysI.
ITO be certainly of course it will"
says the soap man.
'Well, why in thunder don't you use
q small smidgen of it on your own
manly countenance?" says I.
The crowd laughed a little around the
edges.
"Why don't II" says the soap seller.
three times day. 365 days in the year,
for about three years. and whilst no
body would ever think it, burned If I
want as ugly as you are at the start.
Try a cake. Only Is cents. five nickels,
or a quarter of a dollar"
Then the committee retired and the |
crowd screamed . general horse laugh. |
John Andrew ana the Tramps.
For some years past John Andrew |
Milligan has been Twin over there clost |
to Gravel Cut. only q little ways from
the railroad station. So after supper |
one night last week John Andrew come |
over to our house and was tellin me
about the ups aud downs and trials and |
which he has had with
tramps.
IF you love your country, Rufe. don't
never git caught foolin' along with
says John Andrew, whilst
there was somethin in his appearments
which brung to my mind what the
Scripture says in regard to the scorched
youth and the fireworks.
There are jest two things in this
green and wicked old world which a
tramp will stay with and stick to. One
is the main line Of . railroad, and the
other is his secret Bible oath never to
bruise the fair bosom Of the earth with
marry durn lick Of honest work. Along
lbout this time last year l thought
that maybe l had found one lone ex-
,eption to that general rule. It did
look to me like every day the good
Lord sent. with its sunshine and its
olessins. the devil would send alonRi
few tramPs to try my patience and
poster the life outen me. All thew
wanted was soDethin to eat, and we
lad fed EN- and fed EN- till by gracious /,
he CHILDREN would git hongry between
meals and weep for cold victuals. II
so bright and early one mornin last
pring, when . tramp turned up in the ,
'ack yard. with dewdrops in his whisk-
= and tangles in his hair. and wanted .
! little handful Of somethin or other to /
mooth the wrinkles out Of his bread ,
'askct. or words to that extent, felt !
ike l could say most anything except \
n my Sunday school lesson. II I had ,
my work to do he would be glad to turn
II some odd Jobs tor me. To hear hlm :
elliR u. be was one pt them wilNn