The gold leaf. [volume] (Henderson, N.C.) 1881-1911, 1897-09-09
PITCHED HIS TENT.
ON flames ETERNAL CAMPING GROJTND.
AND SAFELY HOUSED THREIN.
f1aIieluiah Air, He of Many Titles to
Greatness and Renown-State Audi
tor, Sub=editor of the Caucasian,
ex-Chairman PopuIist Committee,
ex-State Fair Secretary, etc, etc.
Monroe Journal

Pleasures sometime come to even
an editor, and they generally come
while he is performing some favorite
work. Such rare moments come to
the Journal while we are carving out
our self-lmposed task of keeping up
with the great men Of the State and
letting their virtues and accomplish
ments be known 10 the public. 1t,
therefore, becomes our pleasant duty
this week to speak, we hope with due
appreciation and adequate power, Of
a gentleman and patriot whose achieve
ments and glory have lately flooded
the State like millions of huge arc
lights, even casting glow and glitter
through adjoining States-a light which
IS known to have been mistaken for an
increasing moon, an opportunity which
likewise IS known to have been
embraced by many superstitious per
sons Tor sowing turnip seeds and always
with bountlful crops.
OF course onr readers know to whom
we refer; there is no room for mistake,
and 1t IS superfluous for us to say that
reference IS made to our noble State
Auditor, sub editor of the Caucasian,
eX- chairman, exState Fair Secretary,
inventor and promulgator of sheriffs'
Institutes, general philanthropist and
light weight champion of the people
Halleluliah Air.
| This gentleman tent has already
been spread on fame's eternal camping
ground, and he nightly goes to sleep
singing lullabys of his own greatness
a section of history the exact size of
cotton compress building has already
been laid aside for him. As long as
genius continues to be appreciated will
the inventor of sheriffs' institutes have
| his portrait hung in the corridors Of
renown. His record as editor of the
| Caucasian has already been written
on twenty sheets of parchment, care
fully rolled up, sealed and placed in
the same vault along with those of
Ananlas and Sapphira his wife. AS
the political satellite of our noble
Senator the political astronomers have
classified him as a moon Of the 9th
magnitude, composed of inactive sub
stances and shining only by the
reflected light Of his SUM- AS State
Auditor he will receive the encomiums
OF future generations chiefly on account
. of his we'll known essay on the
"Equalzation of Mule Values in North
Carolina" his address on the "Shrink-
age and Expansion of Land in Certain
Counties, and his we'll known mono
graph on "Goats as Revenue Pro-
ducers" AS the inventor of sherifs'
institutes whole sections of the Temple
of Fame are his, and such gentlemen
as n. Bonaparte, ]. Caesar, G.. Wash
! ington, etc, who have been monopo-
llzng space for so long will have to
step down and out AS State Chair
man of a political party his chief glory
lies in the faithful work he did for the
opposing candidate for Governor. BY
this course the admiration for Mr.. Air
of all people who love fidelity and
, truth went bounding up like the pros
perity of Mexico, and his reputation
= became as savory in their sight as a
Congo barbecue. On this exploit he
will doubtless climb the highest tent
pole on the camping ground of fame.
Can any one have a firmer grip on
the future than has our hero, Mr.. Air?
We cannot leave this subject before
mentioning at least some Of the char
acterstics that have contributed SO
largely to the phenomenal greatness OF
our subject. The first is both mental
and physical popularity and is the
mud sill of his greatness. He is the
remarkable possessor of two separate
and distinct mental machines, each
automatic and one at least double
, acting. This latter apparatus is used
| to receive, interpret or anticipate the
| thoughts, wishes or desires Of his chief
| our noble Senator. 1t is not necessary
| that there should be any spoken word:
: in communication from the Senator
to Mr.. Air, as this section of his bra1
, receives and transmits from the
Senator the thoughts which the latte
wishes to promulgate to the people
through the columns Of the Caucasian,
This is done something after tht
manner of telegraphing on Tesla's new
wireless telegraph. And the perfection
Of the machine IN interpreting tn
Senator's thoughts is shown by tn
e fact that it has never made a mistake
a and to this latter fact Mr.. Air owe
NJ his elevation to the office which h
now occupies. Could a hero elm
|. by the means of a better ladder? W
: came near negleCting to say that tn
other machine located under tn
massive dome of our giants cranlur
isusually engaged in such phllanthropl
schemes as sherilfs' Institutes. TIL
other characteristic which we wlShe
to mention is the sauve assurance wit
which Mr.. Air assumes that all man
kind save himself are fools. This ha
. always been recognized as suprem
mark of greatness. When the peopl
'e see anyone looking down on ther
y they naturally look up to him. III
III has contributed much to Mr.. Air
lie greatness, because as he assumed grea
II ness it naturally came, and he alway
X, assumes. Greatness is great, bt
~ Halleluliah is greater. He is rdln
lG Fame with spurs and martlngales.