Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-07-29
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"And air-ships, too."-Puck.
Dora-"He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like" Cora--"What
was thatT Another mans ARM
Life.
Mrs. Henpeck-"You're not the man
took you for" Mr.. Henpeck-"Alas!
/ am the man took you fOr."-Pick-
Me-Up.
Miss Highsee is beautiful singer.
isn't sheT Every. That was all that
made her singing acknowledgements
ington Times.
Waiter-"Gent at third table wants
hot roll" Cook-"IIot roll? He must
think we have money to burn."-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
He-"Would you scream IL should
kiss your She-"And II were to al
low you to, would you squealY'-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Mistress-"You were snoring awfully
in the night, Mary" Maud-"Yis, I'M.
but 1t was out of worrukin' hours.
Boston Transcript.
Chicago they go into court and sue
for separate wheels and maintenance
New Orleans Picayune.
Not coming their way: New York
people were Disguised with that earth
quake" why" 1T moved from east
to west."-Chicago Record.
Visitor-"What is that dreadful noise
in the yard" Rev. Thirdly's youngest
THAT'S pa practicing his vacation
cough. New York Journal.
Getting Around It-"Your wife
bought these cigars, didn't she?" Eyes;
how did you guess it?' They're in
such a pretty box."-Jugend.
"Why did you manufacture this bad
money!" the magistrate said, sternly.
Zoos couldn't turn out no better" re-
piled the counterfeiter.-Tid-B Bits.
Il don't believe Jagway will ever go
on another yacht cruise" "Why notY
''He says he has lost all desire since he
took the Kelley cure."-Brooklyn Life.
Martha-"I wonder what made me
jump in my sleepY Minnie-"Prob-
ably you were dreaming that some one
proposed to you. "-Yonkers Statesman.
''Dawkins is better dressed than any
man In the club" "Yaas he deserves
great credit for his taste In dress"
well, he gets 1t from his tailor
Boston Traveller.
Mistress-"Didn't the ladies who
called leave cardsY' Maid-"They
wanted to, ma'am, but told them you
had plenty of your own, and better,
too" -Philadelphia Bulletin.
Pip-"What's a summer girl?" Quip
-"Oh, one that knows more In the sum-
mer than in the winter, suppose"
"More whatT "More young men, Of
course. New York Journal.
Bertie-"Are we any Kin to chick
ens?" Bertie-"Of course not; we're
people" Bertie-"Well, Uncle Harry
says papa was a might. bad egg when
he was young. Brooklyn Life.
what sweet satisfaction it is" said
she. Ito have friend you can trust"
"And, oh, what a convenience 1t Is"
replied Hardup Ito have a friend who
Street life is so picturesque. Just
see those dusky Italians with the or
gan on wheels. Isn't that study in
brownsT' 'Well, no, should call it a
cartoon. "-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Jinks-"There is a man who has a
number of movements on foot for max
ing money" Binks-"Who Is hep
Jinks-'T don't know his name, but he's
dancing teacher. boston Traveller.
1.-TWO hours of sleep before midnight
are better than four after that hour"
"Fiddlesticks! Two hours Of sleep
after one is called in the morning are
better than all the others."-West
Union Gazette.
Mrs. Stuckupp appears to be very
proud. Seems to consider herself
above her neighbors." "She has rea-
son to. She lives in the top story of the
tallest apartment building in the city"
Ohio State Journal.
Papa Crumley-"I judge man, sir.
by the company he keeps" Mr.. Suitor
Yes, sir. hope you will bear In
mind that I've been keeping company
with your daughter for over two
s."-Philadelphia North American.
Pokeleigh-"I met an old scientist to-
day who claims to be able to square a
circle" Brokeleigh-"Pshaw, can do
that myself! Just loan me a round
dollar and see how quick I'll turn II
into a square meal."-New York Jour
nal.
Herbert Watts Is clever fellow.
He couldn't find an umbwellah that
would roll tight enough to suit him.
What do you suppose he did? II cawn't
imagine" HE had an umbwellah
cover made for his cane."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"June is well called the month of
roses" remarked Mr.. Bellefield.
Roses are not the most important
flowers of June" replied Miss Bloom
field. what areY Orange bios
sons" = Pittsburg Chronicle Tele-
graph.
Miss Rosebud-"Wasn't 1t sad about
Mr.. LarrabeeY' Mr.. Gimp Tan old
bachelor)-"What was it?" "He was
married on Tuesday and died the fol-
lowing Friday" Yes, it Is sad; mar
rage doesn't always prove fatal SO
soon."-Boston Traveller.
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Destructive Bullets.
Lee Metford bullets were made effec-