The Monmouth inquirer., 1897-06-03
A COOKS MISTAKE.

was angry. 1t had rained for four days
The camp was on the open plain, away
from timber. and wet COW chips are
mighty poor fuel; also the acrid smoke
arising from them is an unequaled tear
inducer. Under the wagon was raw
hide sling in which the cook kept
store of dry brush for kindling fires
Damp chips gathered up about camp
were piled on and soon made a smudge
which was excellent and effective to
keep away flies and mosquitoes, but
which was several hundred per cent in
ferior to modern range for cooking
purposes.
Out of the column of smoke came the
cook, with pot of hot coffee in each
hand and tears brimming in his eyes.
This is the last hot meal you get
until we move camp, he announced
emphatically, setting down one coffee
pot and wiping his eyes as he passed
around, filling our tin cups.
Cookie is crying for the sins he's
had no chance to commit, I" said Scotty
confidentially, and received few drops
of boiling coffee on the thumb which
held his cup.
Scotty is not a philosopher, and he
swore, but not at the cook. The cook is
philosopher and bears with equanim-
ity whatever the fates bring him in the
way of wood or weather, and he minds
the guying of the men no more than he
minds the odor Of his slicker, which
gets fresh coat of fish oil after every
heavy rain.
Yet the cook was wrathy. We could
smell it in the smoke and taste it in the
coffee, and-unfailing sign-he had re-
moved his leather cartridge belt and
holster Cookie supported his trousers
with an extra large belt, always full of
ammunition. He had never been known
to fire his gun. even at a jack rabbit,
but occasionally would take it from the
holster and ask the foreman to keep it
for day, saying, "I'm mad !" When,
therefore, it was seen that he had not
only removed the pistol, but the car
fridge belt also, trusting in Providence
to hold up his trousers, we felt that
crisis had come.
A philosopher who is also cook is
such valued adjunct to a COW outfit
that we were all attention when. after
we were served with coffee and sour
dough bread, Cookie said briefly, adj
dressing himself to the foreman, Me
or Mike Tussler has got to quit
What's the matter, Bill?'' asked the
foreman.
Well, it's this way" he replied,
speaking slowly. Mike knows as well
as anybody that the b'ys can swear at
each other, but they can't swear at the
cook That's the rule everywhere. No
body but the foreman can swear at me.
Well, this morning, when the horse
band was driy' in, the b'ys put up the
ropes to wagon wheel to hold EN-,
and took one rope, like always do. 1t
was wet and slippery, and when every
body else had caught hoss Mike went
in to rope his buckskin. and they all
surged my way ag in the rope and pull
ed it through my hands, and Mike
swore at me-.
Yes, added Mike, and the whole
bunch got out, SO I had to ride an old,
lame plug all day. Z"
II guess you two can settle that little
matter for yourselves" said the fore
man.
'That's all right, said Cookie. '.I'm
a-going to lick him after dinner, but
one of us has got to quit. -
"Oh, we'll, said the foreman, you
are both good men. I won't choose be-
tween you. Just flip a copper. Mike sat
back, an indifferent spectator, while the
cook found coin and tossed it up.
''Best two in three, said he and an
nounced himself the loser. He asked for
his wages and received an order on the
company for the amount due him.
"If you get out of a job, said the
foreman gravely, shaking hands with
Bill, "come back to us. :"
"Oh, amt mad at you" said the
cook, land hate to quit, but nobody
but the foreman can swear at me. 1t
amt right.
"Now. Mike, are You ready?" he
asked, taking off his slicker.
"You better be going before you
fight, . suggested Mike, who was filling
his pipe You'll get farther.
"Hold on, boys. want to make a
book on this event, " interposed Scotty.
And the cook put on his slicker and
waited while Scotty booked bets enough
to bankrupt himself. Then Mike gave
me his pipe to keep alight and sailed. in
Unfortunately no ex-senator from
Kansas was present to report this con-
test There was some vigorous might
ing, the men clinched and went down
together. They rolled over a few times
in the lush, wet grass, and then one OF
them got up. 1t was Mike. He resumed
his pipe, mounted his horse and went
out to the herd. The other men went
about their several duties. The foreman
staid in camp
Presently the falling rain revived the
fallen cook. He sat up, then rose slow
ly, andsgoing to the mess box took out
his belt and pistol and put them on. He
then approached the foreman and asked:
''Do you want to>hire a good cook,
with all the nonsense knocked out of
him ~