davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
Flood and Poker Sufferer.

Il wish you would send us a poker
table," said a resident of a little town
in the north Louisiana overflow to a
visitor whom he supposed to be in some
way connected with the distribution Of
government rations to the flood suffer
ers.
Here we are playing around this
darned old dry goods box, and I'm los
ing right along; but if 1 could sit at a
table and get my legs under it you
ought to see me win"
What good would that do you?"
well, 1 don't exactly know; Inever
held out a card in all my life, and I'd
sooner go broke a thousand times than
raise a hand from under the table; but
somehow l never can hold good cards
when I've got to sit twisted around like
this with my knees rubbing up against
the side of this blamed old box. You
see, the long and short of it is, we're
flood sufferers, and we're suffering for
a poker table. Just you send it, and
don't ask offensive personal questions
that might reflect on a ~gentleman's
play."-N. o. Times-Democrat.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
OLDEST OF BRITISH FAMILIES.
Some of Them Date Back TO the
Tenth Century.

SO"c VI ihcHh Date BACK TO the
Tenth Century.
As a result of recent Investigations it
has been shown that the foundation of
the families of about a dozen of the 400
barons of the British house of lords
dates back to 400, the earliest being
1864. The Oldest family in the British
isles is the Mars family of Scotland,
1893.
The Campbells of Argyll began in
100, Talleyrand dates from 1I99, Bis
marck from 1870, the Grosvenor family,
the dukes of Westminster, 1906; the
Austrian house of Hapsburg goes back
to 952 and the house of Bourbon to S64.
The descendants of Mahommed, born
$40, are all registered carefully and
authoritatively in a book kept in Mecca
by the chief of the family. Little or no
doubt exists of the absolute authen-
ITCHY of the long line of Mahommed's
descendants.
In China there are many old families;
also among the Hebrews. But says
an authority, when it comes to pedi-
grees. there is one gentleman to whom
n world must take OF his hat, not as a
facile princeps or primus inter pares,
but as the great and only nonesuch.
This is the mikado of Japan" His place
has been filled by members of his fam
lily for more than $500 years. The pres.
ent mikado is the one hundred and
twenty-second of the line. The first
one was contemporary with Nebuchad-
nezzar, GOO years before Christ. OF the
seven great religions enumerated by
Max Muller as possessing Bibles, the
mikado family is older than five.
Since all of us have the consolation Of
knowing that W. are descended from
the first family, it makes no difference
if some of the early records are lost, ex-
cept so far as they relate TO recent prop
erty titles.-Pittsburgh DISPATCH.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
A FIREMAN'S A L
Interesting Incident of q Large Fire
In New York.

Interesting Incident of O Large Fire
In New York.
An incident hat happened in a large
cotton fire in the lower part of New
York, some years ago, had its comic
side, and was the of the fremen
discovering the main body of the fire,
which for some time they had been en-
deavoring in vain to locate.
The smoke was pouring out of nearly
every part of the building; and al
though several entrances had been
made, it had been impossible to find tho
seat of the fire. The chief in charge
ordered some windows on the third
floor to be Opened up" and a ladder
was accordingly raised, and a fireman
assembled. With the aid of a hook he
pried open the iron shutters, and, lamp
in hand, stepped in-and d~isappearedll
His companion upon the ladder, won
dering why he had so suddenly vanished
from sight, peered in, and found that he
had stepped into the elevator shaft that
was directly under this window, and
had fallen through to the basement.
Hastily descending, he alarmed the
others, and forcing an entrance, they
made their way to the cellar. Here
they found their comrade in a sitting
position upon a bale of cotton, partly
stunned and dazed from the shock Of
the fall, but otherwise uninjured. In
his hand he still held the wire handle Of
his lamp-all that remained ofit-while
in front of him, furtherin the basement.
blazing merrily, was the fire they had
been e~ndeavoring to find. His fall had
led him directly to it. On afterward
examining the hatchway, or shaft,
through which he had fallen, they found
that it had bars running diagonally
T at each floor, and in some mar
velous way he had escaped each one in
his downward fight.-Charles T. Hill
in st. Nicholas.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
NO POSTAGE STAMPS.
A Place Where Letters n Sent Free
of Cost.

The letters that the Sikh police in
Singapore send their kindred in India
and those that they receive in return
are almost invariably minus any post
age stamps. One of their European Of
fcers, noticing this, asked one of the
men the reason for this universal omis-
sion. and it was explained that the ma
tive postman's idea of honor concerning
the delivery of native letters are re-
stricted to towns.
Should the epistle be addressed to q
man in a village some miles from the
Office, the postman duly takes the let
ter and starts off. but after going a lit
tie way slips into the nearest patch Of
jungle and throws it away, thus saving
himself any further trouble about the
matter. 1t is curious to note that let
tiers are seldom rifed. The trouble Of
walking SC far for a mere letter seems
to worry the native mind, and no GU
riositS is aroused as to its contents.
If the letter, however, is unstamped,
the unhappy postman must deliver it at
its destination, as he is bound to pro-
duce on his return a receipt for the fine
imposed for the omitted stamps.
They bear no i'll will to the postman
probably they would do the same in
his place; but they know the length Of
his methods neutrality-suspicious. City
World.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
HUMOROUS

-cAnd your wife aimed at and struck
your head with the cup?" "Yes, sir"
well then, all 1 have to say Is that you
should be very proud of her.S-Tit-
Bits
-Nother-"Dear mel The baby has
swallowed that bit of worsted."
Father-"That's nothing to the yarns
she'll have to swallow if she lives to
grow up."-Tit-Bits.
A Resemblance.-A small boy, after
critically surveying the new baby, re-
marked to his mother: Hes got no
teeth, and no hair. He's grandfather's
little brother, amt he, ma?"-Fun.
-ones-"How is it that You never
play golf, Miss Smith? I thought you
had taken lesosns." Miss Smith-"Oh,
yes! But I've only so far learned
enough for conversational purposes-"-
Brooklyn Life.
"A penny saved" said Uncle Eben,
sis a penny earned. But dat amt no
'scuse fob wastin' mo- time tryin' ter
dodge er expense OBJ two bits dan it I'D
take ter git fo' dollars by workin'."-
Washington Star.
-"Wil you have me for better or for
worse?" he asked. what a foolish
question, George" she answered. How
can 1 tell whether it will be for better
or for worse We've just got to take
chances. That's all."@hicago Even
ing Post.
Tool ood.-"John," said the father
who had just listened to his sons COM
mencement Grafton, 81 hope the man
that you are going to take a position
with did not hear you read that piece"
why not? I thoughtit was first-rate."
at was fine. I'm afraid if he finds out
how much more you know than he does
he'll be jealous and won't want you in
the same business with him."-Wash-
ington Star,
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
MAGNETISM IN VASES.
Instances Found in Some Ancient
Roman Pottery.

Roman Pottery.
a curious instance of the stability of
magnetism has been found in some an
Gent Roman pottery. Marked traces
of magnetiZation have been frequently
noticed in Etruscan vases. The obvious
assumption was that the augmentation
may have undergone some modification
during the many centuries that have
elapsed since the vases were baked.
Dr.. Folgheraiter has settled this ques-
ton by his observations On some vases
which were pieced together from scat
tered fragments, taken from an eXca-
vation at Arezzo. If the magnetization
of the baked clay had in any way al
tered since the vases were broken it is
clear that the different portions falling
and lying around indiscTiE;aately
would have been differently affected,
and when the bits were pieced together
again the broken vases would have
shown irregular magnetization. But
they were found to De as regularly mag
netized as those which have been eX-
cavated entire, the opposite poles at
the mouth and base being exactly $50
degrees apart. DR.. Folgheraiter is
hopeful that further excavations may
lead to the discovery of potteries of the
Etruscan epoch containing undisturbed
vases. This, while possible, seems i'm
probable. But then a little while ago,
rs DIR. Folgheraiter points out, the an
tecedent improbability of our being
able to get any information at all as to
the elements of terrestrial magnetism
somewhere about the time of the Tar
quins would have seemed very great, in.
deed.-N. y. Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
BESIDE THE RIER

"If you have tears prepare to sbed ,,sn
now" sneo them
But not for hey; she is beyond II all.
No bitterness of death for her can he.
Her shallop, that no jeopardies annan
has traversed the immedicable sea"
did: JUL
Herloving way made Hate her worsht,er.
But the white shadow meath the corSn ia
Is ALL save memory. remains of her.
The house is altered now. and strangely
still,
Where many anxious came and went be-
fore:
There was no lack of effort and good will:
Alas that there can be no effort more!
These little children in the years to come
Wtl grieve her features never to recall.
She was so sorely needed in her home.
How hard it was to go leave them
all!
Silent we sat beside the silent bier
And every eye with sympathy is wet,
AS, witnessing the sorrow that is here.
Her grief we ponder that was keener yet
No more to greet them with the morning
kiss:
No more to rock them by the evening
fire;
NOI HGIS ~ oOOlIlc l1GIu Wn6Q lie goes
amiss;
To fail to satisfy their long desire.
let who can tell what ministries divine
What consultations soothe the final hour.
What luminaries DER the darkness shine.
What revelation of supernaI power?
Now, pastor, dear. console US as ne'er be-
fore;
Now, mourners, look upon her features
wan;
Look through your tears, your last, for
nevermore
Earth's sweetest face your gaze will rest
upon.
I1ose up the casket and go lay her down;
Leave one fair flower on her stainless
breast
Its fate untimely not unlike her own
The sole companion of her dreamless
rest.
Edward ". Pomeroy, in Springfield
(AIass.) Republican.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
School AND CHURCH.

The duchess of Teck spends over
$4,000 a year in religious and philan.
thropic works. This sum is just one-
fifth the annual amount granted her
by parliament.
Henry Marion Howe, of Boston, the
son of Julia Ward Howe, who has been
appointed professor of metallurgy in
Columbia college. is a cousin of F.
Marion Crawford, the popular novelist.
Mrs. Mary Clement Leavitt, who
has acquired an international reputa-
ton as a traveller, lecturer and organ
izer for the W. C. T. u, has visited 43
countries and has organized 100 tenn
perance societies.
Prince Max of SaXony, who became
a Roman Catholic priest, has been ap-
pointed a curate in the Whitechapel dis
trict in London. The queen recently
received him, which gives rise to the
extraordinary surmise of a German
Protestant paper that the prince has
been commissioned by the church of
Rome to convert her majesty and Prin-
cess Beatrice.
Requiem masses were celebrated in
Rome and at Genoa on the fiftieth ami
versary of Daniel O'ConnelI's death. In
the latter city a procession marched
from the church to the house in which
the liberator died, where a bronze me-
dallion was unveiled. The 500, 900 me-
mortal church at Cahirciveen, county
Kerry, his birthplace, will be completed
this year.
Oxford celebrated a recent visit by
the prince of Wales by an o~ld-fashfoned
town and gown row of unusual pro-
portions. The students undertook to
clear sidewalks and streets by march
ing in compact bodies with arms inter-
locked and "a against the metropoli-
tan policemen, sent up TO protect the
prince. After being severely dubbed
IA students and a fellow and lecturer
of one of the colleges were arrested
and fined for drunkenness and disorder
ly conduct.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
THE WONDERFUL ALsATRoss
Strange Traits OF a Bird That II LIT.
tie known.

tie Known.
The albatross has been the theme OF
poets and naturalists since the first one
dawned upon the sight of man. The
scientist has offered many theories for
the ird'slong-sustained power of flight,
but it remains as much of a mystery as
ever. An albatross will follow in a
ships wake for days, sailing steadily
along with no motion of the wings,
silent and inscrutable as fate. No other
motion han an occasional veer of the
wings when the bird desires to turn an
angle is to be observed. Despite the
birds marvellous power of sailing along,
it is very hard for it to rise from the
water.
The home of the albatross is in the
antipodes and Auckland islands. No
lighthouse rears its head here and heavy
fogs and treacherous currents swirl
about the place. The land is rough and
mountainous in the coast, but inland
marvellous flowers grow; wonderful asst
ers, m~arguerites, lilies and gentians,
and her millions upon millions of birds
make their homes. Among the coarse
herbage the pure white head of the
albatross greets the eye. The body is
larger than that of the swan and its X
banded wings measure II feet from tip
TO tip. Its glory has departed, for while
nothing can be grander han its flight
over the ocean, nothing is more ludi-
crous than its waddle on land. Its only
sign of defense is to clap its beak in a
helpless manner, for it cannot use it's
wings.
The nest is a pile of earth like a child's
sand castle and in the cup-shaped top
the albatross lays one egg. During the
GO days the egg is Matching the mother
does not stir from the nest. for if she
did the seahawks would swoop down on
the egg and destroy it. The young bird
is covered with fluffy down, pure white
in color and silky as floss. The nesting
is fed SO assi3ueusly that it becomes
immensely fat and rivals its parent in
weight. 1t is then deserted by the
parents, who wander over the ocean,
sometimes encircling the globe before
returning to their home.
The most remarkable thing in the his
tory of the albatross is that during the
absence of the parents the young nest
ling does not receive a mouthful of food.
During the whole time, sometimes four
months. it lives on the fat it has ac-
cumulated. In the open nest on a bleak
hillside the young albatross is exposed
all wintertosharp winds and the fiercest
gales that ever rush across the ocean,
yet at the end of its fast the young bird
is lively and in good condition. The
reason the parent birds go away is not
known. Their desire for flight is a mys-
terry, for it is not the same as the migra-
ton of u northern birds to the south.
When the parents return they uncere-
m%oniously bundle out the nesting,
which has become a slaty-gray in color,
and set about repairing the nest. The
young bird still stays around, evincing
in many pretty ways its fondness for its
parents, and not till next year does it
take its first fight to sea, in company
with its hard-heaTted father and moth.
er.-Chicago News.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
Two Long ReiRnn.

This year Queen Victoria celebrates
the siXtieth anniversary of her Access
sion to the throne of Great Britain and
Ireland. Next year Emperor Francis
Joseph of Austria-Hungary is to cele-
brate the fiftieth anniversary of his &C.
cession to imperial authority. 1t is an
nounced that one feature of the Aus
trian celebration will be the formal
coronation of the emperor as king Of
Bohemia. This course is contemplated
out of Difference to the feeling of the
people of that important province, who
have long desired that it be given the
dignity of separate recognition
Youths COMPANION.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
Fighting BICYCLES.

Capt. Gerard, of the French army, has
formed an experimental company Of 90
men riding bicycles, and intended for q
fighting corps on wheels. The captain
has invented a special form of bicycle
for his men. The cross-bar is hinged, so
that the machine can be folded and car
ried or the back when ground imprac-
ticable for wheeling has to be crossed.
1t is thought that companies trained to
maneuver on wheels may be very USE
full in light skirmishing and scouting-
Each rider carries a Lebel rife and
bayonet.-Youth's Compauion. )
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
HOW TO DRESS.

ME. SANFORD always looks well.
N 1t would seem that the tailor
makes a special effort in behalf of the
young man. His clothes fit him and the
garments harmonic one with another
so that his apparel, regarded collective
", is a work of art. Mr.. Sanford sell
dom wears colors OF checks, and people
are not compelled to urn and look at
him a second time.
Apparently ne does not strive for eff
feet. 1t might be supposed that he is
merely fortunate in his selection of
wearing apparel.
As a matter of fact, Mr.. Sanford is
u student of clothes. He learns from
observation that he must avoid certain
kinds of apparel if he is to commend
himself to people of taste. He keeps
informed as to fashions, also, and fol-
lows those which are inexpensive and
which have been adopted by the men
who can devote most of their time to
dressing themselves.
The result is that Mr.. Sanford, al
though receiving but a modest salary,
is known as a good dresser" He has
a small wardrobe, but it is sufficient for
one who cannot change clothes several
times a day and who is not under OBJ
legations to have morning." "after-
noon" and evening" clothes.
Mr.. Sanford, in the course of a con-
rersation the other evening, announced
mis- belief that men in Chicago are bad
ly dressed because they lack taste. He
started on the assumption that the men
are badly dressed. He said that so far
as he had observed at least 80 per cent.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
His Point of View.

after all, boomers serve a veryuse-
full purpose" said the confirmed bach-
elor.
I'm surprised to hear you admit it."
returned the new woman.
Not at all, not at all" answered. the
confirmed bachelor with all the cour-
tesy he could assume 81 wish tobe no
o than just. Bloomers have fright
ened off a good many men who would
otherwise have been married."SChica-
90 Post.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
Lord Kelvin on the Age of the Earth


Lord Kelvin, in an address upon the
earth as an abode fitted for life, has
summed up the evidence into what
must be accepted as the latest dictum OF
science regarding this obscure point.
The old idea was of a solid earth nearly
10000, 900, 900 years old, but modern sci
ence makes an immense reduction in
this estimate. He was able to say with
confidence that the earth solidiied be-
tween 10000, 900 and 100000 years
ago. The latest estimate of the time
required for the formation of all strata
since the beginning of the Cambrian
rocks is 100000 o years. Lord Kelvin
declares that the earth could not have
been habitable more than 100000
years.@Scientifc American.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24

Gus De Smith-Why doesn't some
body write a song on the first fly Of
summer?
Hostetter McGinnis-I am not sure,
but l think the real reason is that the
fly won't sit long enough for anyone
to write a song on it.-Tammany Times.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
Beginning MT the wrong End.

Uncle Dave-Old Seth Pillsbury, the
druggist, was a mighty smart man, but
he had no luck. He invented a first
class cure for rheumatism, but he
couldn't get nobody to tFy it.
Uncle steve-He didn't go about It
right. How could he expect anyone to
try st when he neveFgot no testivs,
nials?-Brooklyn LIE.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
A nIipd Mathematician.

Didymus, the Alexandrian, was born
blind, but. Notwithstanding this defect,
attained such great skill in mathemst-
les. geometry and logic that he was
reckoned one of the wonders Of his age
-Philadelphia Press.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24

of the male adults walking the streets
were subject to severe criticism.
1t was suggested to him that very few
men could afford TO spend the money
to keep themselves in good clothes.
There never was a time when a man
could dress so well at such small cost"
said Sanford. 81 don't mean by dressing
well that a man is to be simply respect
able or clean, but 1 mean that he Is to
be in style. I mean that 1t doesn't cost
much nowadays to dress 90 as to be IN
line,' as we say. What does a man need
this summer? A suit of Light check
or gray stuff, with a short coat u
close to the body, a pair of tan shoes, a
soft shirt, a washable tie and a straw
hat. Is there anything expensive IN
that makeup? That's what the NIL
lionaire wears if be wants to be in style,
s,d that's what a man earning ter dol
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
Several colored people in Livingst

Several colored people in Livingstos
county, KY, were enjoying themselves
at a dance, when one of the number,
having arrayed himself in white. burst
in upon them as a ghost" The others
collared him, set his ghostly habliments
on fire, and he only saved himself from
severe burns by leaping iuto 9 mill
stream.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
How to Get Rid of Cats.

81 don't hear you complain any moro
about the cats in your neighborhood?"
"No; I've rented my best room to
a theological student who is studying
Observation-Disclosures Plain Dealer.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24

"What's k~leptomania, daddy?" asked
little Rastus.
"Kleptomania," the old man ex-
planned by illustration, sis a disease
dat might make a niger steal punkins
when dey was a watermelon patch in
de same lot."-Indianapolis journal.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24
An Icy RetsPf.

"This," said the ice man, sis the time
Of year when I cut considerable ice"
"You," said the kitchen lady, don't
cut half as much as you are paid for"
=Yonkers Statesman.
The Cape Girardeau Democrat. (Cape Girardeau, Mo.) 1876-1909, 1897-07-24

Mother-Do you know why your pa
called Mr.. Blowhard a liar, Tommy
Tcnmy-Yes'm; he's q smaller mas
shsn pa.-Harlem Life.
Reporter and farmer. [volume] (Webster, Day County, Dakota [S.D.]) 188?-1946, 1897-09-30

Jedediah Granger oil Webster, 5. d.,
presented Dwight Post, No. I0Gsa nina
ture shock OF wheat and an ear oil corn
as II souvenir OF the q. A. r.. National
Encampmeht. The commander, j. H..
Iulyer. accepted the token with a neat
speech. David Knight offered a resolu-
ton, thanking Mr.. Granger which was
unanimously adopted by the post
Sodus WIS., Record.
Capt. Granger spoke in Germs OF the
greatest appreciation Of Inaccuracies oil
Dwight Post Tor the manner in which
they entertained him, doing all in their
power fcr his, comfort and enjoyment
during his short stay. The citizens OF
Webster always feel grateful for courte-
sizes extended to the old gentleman, as
he is accepted as grandpasto the whole
community, and is held Ia the highest
esteera by all, from the Youngest to the
oldesss