Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-03-18

Are you acquainted with any soci-
ETY. people?' ''Oh, yes, know a thing.
or two."-Life.
did you take the waters at Sara
toga, Col. Kentuck:" NO, sub; new
ali mix my drinks
Customer-What can you give me for
q modest lunch? Waiter-Weil, there's
veal with dressing.-Detroit Tribune
If you kiss me again l will call
mamma" well. l don't mind; she is
still young-looking woman. Town
Topics.
He-What will the world say at our
divorce?' The millionaire spouse-That
fool and his money are soon parted"
Life.
Mamma wish you could get George
a nice situation. Papa-l'm afraid l
can't suit George. He wants place in
which time will hang heavily on his
hands.-Puck.
Daughter-George says he fears he
can't support me in the style I'm accus-
toned to. The father-Marry him,
anyhow. can't keep 1t up much long
er myself.-Town Topics.
The Giddy Young Thing-What is
that proverb about there being no mar
rying in heaven? The Chronic Bach
elor-Fools rush In where angels fear
to tread.-Indianapolis Journal.
II should like to 60 to my mother
IN In v,so F,,,>n lat
said the book-keeper to the "old man.
$50 should l." replied the proprietor,
as he turned to his desk again--Puck.
At an official ball: "Sir, allow me to
shake hands with you, just by way Of
showing that l know somebody here"
with pleasure, sir. as I am precisely
In the same boat as yOurself."-Le eau
lois.
Lady in pony cart (who has made
several unsuccessful attempts to pass
persevering beginner occupying the
whole road)-Unless you soon fall of,
Sir. I'm afraid l shall miss my train
| Punch.
II shall hold him in sweet remem-
brance." said the potentate Of Rwkplo.
He could hardly have done otherwise
Even at home the young missionary
had been spoken of as one Of excellent
taste.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
A New York doctor says that frogs
legs are good for people suffering from
tuberculosis. The batria- chophag ous
element of our population have long
known that frogs legs were good for
consumption.-Dalla News.
Husband - You're not economical.
Wife-Well. IL you don't call wom-
an economical who saves her wedding
dress for possible second marriage,
I'd like to know what you think econ
omy s.--Melbourne Punch.
George-Youdo not call on Miss Rose
bud now? Jack-No; got Disguised.
She has such coarse laugh. George
l never noticed that. Jack-You would
IL you'd been within hearing when I
proposed to her.-Dublin World.
I'm tired Of the men of to-day" de-
clared Miss Elderly: lit was very diff
ferent in the good old days Of chivalry."
do tell me about it. DEAR" answered
Miss Deeply; lit was before my time,
you know."-Detroit Free Press.
well" said the absent-minded and
new arrival in Hades, as he mopped his
perspiring brow, there's something to
be thankful for down here, anyway.
Folks won't always be yelling at me
to shut the door. Baltimore News.
Yes. sir" said Mr.. Winbiddle to a
stranger. II insist that all water used
for drinking and culinary purposes
should be boiled at least half an hour"
You are physician. presume:"
mo; l am coal dealer."-New York
Journal.
says his wife doesn't even know what
business he is in. Griggs-Why has he
concealed 1t from her? Briggs-He Ia
afraid she might get the impression
that he could do odd jobs around the
house.-Life.
Guile-No: what makes you ask? Mrs.
Guile-Mrs. Bingo told me that he went
out on a little periodical frequently.
Guile-She doubtless meant the term
in business sense; Circuit travels
for the Weekly Gusher."
First Thespan-Have warm recep-
ton in the last town you played, old
man? Second Thespian--Well, rather.
Papers roasted me, hotel burnt down
with all my clothes, and eleven credit
ors were hot after me all the while
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
He-I am really surprised at DIR.
White. After being our family doctor
for years. and treating me for all sorts
of things. and to think Of all the money
we've paid him. too! She-What has
he done? He-He wouldn't pass me for
the life Insurance company!-Md-B Bits.
Mrs. Ferry tproudly)-Our pastor is
going to have special bicycle services
regularly every third Sunday this sum-
mer. Mrs. Wallace (calmlyl-Indeed?