Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-07-07

in Scripture had failed utterly, and the
relations between him and the examiner
had become somewhat strained The
latter asked him if there were any text in
the whole Bible he could quote. He pom
dered, ard then repeated: And Judas
went out and hanged himself rs
there any other verse you know in the
whole Bible?'' the examiner asked.
Yes Go thou and do likewise.
There was solemn pause, and the pro-
ceedingS terminated.
Business Faults "Have you noticed
how Stubbins repeats himself?' Eyes;
it is an atrocious habit-yesterday he
tried to collect a bill of me which he
has collected twice before."-Detroit
Free Press.
a gentleman had left his corner seat in
an already crowded railway car to go In
search of something to eat, leaving rug
to reserve his seat. On returning he
found that, in spite of the rug and the
protests of his fellow passengers, the seat
F, had been usurped by one in lady's gar
ments. To his protestations her lofty
reply was: DO you know, sir, that |
! am one of the directors wives" mad
am" he replied, ''were you the directors
only wife, l should still protest. Ar
] gonaut.
Tells It's Own Story.-The following is
the eDitaph inscribed on the tomb OF
North Carolina moonshner: Killed by
the government for making whisky out
of corn grown from seed furnished by
congressman = Memphis Commercial
Appeal.
David Hartley, member of Parliament
for Hull in 1873, was called the dinner
bell" because his rising had a similar eff
feet in emptying the House. One day,
when he had wearied everybody cut he
moved that the riot act should be read, as
a document to prove some assertion.
Burke, who had been bursting with i'm
patience for hours, bounced up, eNclalm-
ing: 1.-THE riot act, my dear friend! to
what purpose? Don't you perceive that
the mob has already quietly dispersed?'
But the sarcasm was utterly thrown
| away.
An Evasive Answer-Mamma sadly,
holding up nearly empty jar)-'Rachel,
have you been at my preserves AGAIN!
Rachel Gntently combing her dolls halr)
Mamma, didn't grandma teach you
when you was a little girl, same's you
have me, not to be too 'qulSltlYe: =
Judge
Brahms was a hearty eater, and par
ticularly fond of Italian cookery. One
day he and DR.. Billroth, the eminent
| Austrian surgeon. visited Herr Wich
mann in Rome and were invited to q
| breakfast ALA romano. The hosts cook,
Mora, did her prettiest and the VINE
supplemented her efforts. That's the
wine that Horace drankr' said DR.. Bill
roth. enthusiastically. Brahms thoughts
were on the viands he had just enjoyed.
In jovial humor he raised the question
/ whether it was not his duty to take back
with him to Germany a wife who could
| a6 b1a n nln1l Mora
Finally Wichmann, with mock serfous-
! ness presented himself to Mora rs Il
sutton for her hand in behalf of a great
German artist. Moreover, he is a musi-
! clan" he explained, land you surely are
| fond of music, for you sing about the
house all day. What say YOU! Mora
| answer was classic. She looked at Wjch-
mann. then at Brahms from top 20 toe,
| and, with an energetic gesture, replied:
| ''Sono romano. nata al Ponte Rotto, dove
| sta il TEMPO di Vesta, non sposero inai
un barbaror' CT am Roman, born near
the Ponte Rotto, where the Temple of
Vesta stands-I never will marry i par
barian!)
Mexicans are not very fond of Span
| iardS, and jokes are constantly cropping
| up in Mexico Illustrative of the arrogance
| of the Spanish character. One now cur
rent in Mexico runs as follows: A Span
| lard arrived at Vera Cruz and stepped
| ashore just as an earthquake occurred.
| Putting on a benign smile, he said:
| ''Tremble not, earth, / am not going to
| harm thee. ''-ArgOnaut.
TO-
Much has been said lately of Queen
| NictOria'S musical tastes and the fact
| that her ear for music is excellent. even
TO this day. w. III. Preece, the we'll
| known English electrician, confirms this
statement with a story of his own per-
sonal experience. He relates it as fol-
| lows When the telephone was getting
| into work the Queen was anxious 20 test
its powers, and accordingly arrangements
were made to put Osborne, Portsmouth
and London in telephone communication
with one another. With this in view [
| went to Southampton, and it was ar
! ranged that a band should play in Lon
| don at 9 o'clock, so that her majesty
might hear the music. Some slight mis-
| hap occurred to the Osborne section of
the wire and the Queens coming was
delayed The musicians, after playing
| some time, were dismissed. Shortly after,
to my CONSERVATION, | received a wire
from Osborne stating that the Queen had
arrived and was ready to hear the music.
| What was to be done? The band had de-
parted and there was no way of getting
another. On hasty impulse l decided
to see what / could do, and hummed
God Save the Queen through the tele-
phone Then | inquired if her majesty
had recognized the tune. Yes was the
reply; it was the national anthem, but
very badly Played"
A Wabash college boy, having been
which his father belonged, introduced
his next request for a remittance with
| Dear Father and Brother. "-Minneapo-
| lis Journal.
At the Club.--Dobson-" Jones hasn't
been around TO the club for two weeks.
| Wonder what the matter is?'' Hobson-
"Why, his folks are all away at the sea-
side and he can rest just as well at
| home. Judge.
Neander, the great professor and his
torian of the Christian church OF the
Berlin university, was accustomed, when
! lecturing to stand behind a curious, high
] desk. with an omen framework. and with