Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1897-05-14
The Cooks Mistake.
How a Nice Point i'm Cowboy Etiquette
Was Settled.

How a Nice Point i'm Cowboy Etiquette
Was Settled.
We were all waiting for dinner, sitting
about the camp on our bootheels, every
man in his slicker, and the cook was angry.
1t had rained for four days The camp
was on the open plain, away from timber,
and wet cowchips are mighty poor fuel
Also the acrid smoke arising from them is
an unequalled tear-inducer. Under the
wagon was a rawhide sling, in which the
cook kept a store of dry brush for kindling
fires. Damp chips gathered up about camp
were piled on and soon made a smudge
which was excellent and effective to keep
away flies and mosquitoes, but which was
several hundred per cent inferior to a mod
ern range for cooking purposes.
Out of the column of smoke came the
cook, with pot of hot coffee in each hand
and tears trimming in his eyes.
This is the last hot meal you get until
we move camp" he announced, emphati-
cally, setting down one coffee-pot and wip-
ing his eyes as he passed around filling our
tin cups.
Cookie is crying for the sins he's had
no chance to commit" said Scotty, conf
dentially and received a few drops of boil
ing coffee on the thumb which held his cup.
Scotty is not a philosopher, and he swore
but not at the cook. The cook is a phil
osopher, and bears with equanimity what
ever the fates bring him in the way of
wood or weather, and he minds the guving
of the men no more than he minds the
odor Of his sicker, which gets fresh coat
of fishoil after every heavy rain
Yet the cook was wrathy. We could
smell it in the smoke and taste it in the
coffee, and-unfailing sign-he had re-
moved his leather cartridge-5elt and hol-
ster. Cookie supported his trousers with
an extra large belt, always full of ammu-
milton. He had never been known to fire
his gun, even at a jack rabbit, but occa-
sionally would take it from the holster and
ask the foreman to keep it for a day. say
ing, I'm mad" When, therefore, it was
seen that he had not only removed the PTS
tol, but the cartridge-belt also, trusting in
Providence to hold up his trousers, we felt
that a crisis had come.
A philosopher who is also cook is such
a valued adjunct to a COW outfit that we
were all attention when, after we were
served with coffee and sour-dough bread,
Cookie said briefly addressing himself to
the foreman: "Me or Mike Tussler has got
to quit"
whats the matter Bill!" asked the fore
man.
"Well, it's this way" he replied, speak
ing slowly. Mike knows as we'll as any
body that the b'ys can swear at each other,
but they can't swear at the cook. That s
the rule everywhere. Nobody but the fore
man can swear at me. Well, this morn
ing, when the horse band was driv' in, the
b'ys put up the ropes to a wagon wheel to
hold 'em, and l took one rope like l al
ways do. 1t was wet and slippery, and
when everybody else had caught a boss
Mike went in to rope his buckskin, and
they all surged my way agin the rope and
pulled it through my hands, and Mike
swore at me-"
Eyes," added Mike, "and the whole
bunch got out, SO had to ride an old lame
plug all day."
81 guess you two can settle that little
matter for yourselves" said the foreman
That's all right" said Cookie "Im
agoing to lick MIN after dinner, but one of
us has got to quit"
ooh, well, " said the foreman, 'you are
both good men. l won't choose between
you; Just flip copper" Mike sat back, an
indifferent spectator, while the cook found
a coin and tossed it up. BEST two in
three, " said he; and announced himself the
loser. He asked for his wages, and re-
ceived an order on the company for the
amount due him.
eff you get out of job" said the fore
man, gravely shaking hands with Bill,
''come back to u.s."
'Oh, l amt mad at you" said the cook,
land hate to quit. But nobody but the
foreman can swear at me. 1t amt right. :"
Now, Mike, are you ready?" he asked,
taking off his slicker.
You better be going before you fight, +"
suggested Mike, who was filling his pipe;
you'll get further"
Hold on, boys, want to make a book
on this event, interposed Scotty, and the
cook put on his slicker and waited while
Scotty booked bets enough to bankrupt
himself. Then Mike gave me his pipe to
keep alight, and sailed in.
Unfortunately, no ex-senator from Kan
sas was present to report this contest.
There was some vigorous mitigating, the
men clinched and went down together.
They rolled over a few times in the lush,
wet grass, and then one of them got up
1t was Mike. He resumed his pipe, mount
ed his horse and went out to the herd. The
other men went about their several duties.
The foreman stayed in camp.
Presently the falling rain revived the
fallen cook. He sat up, then rose slowly,
and going to the mess-box, took out his
belt and pistol and put them on. He then
approached the foreman and asked:
"Do you want to hire good cook, with
all the nonsense knocked out of himl"
81 do, replied the foreman.
I'm your man." said Bill; 81 made
mistake"
A stew of brains and marrow was the
cooks chef doeuvre. 1t was served only
when he was in buoyant mood. We had
it that night for supper.-The Argondut.