The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-03-16
FUN.

Why are decadent novels SO popu
lar?"
Because everybody to read abou
| people who are bigger fools than him
| self"
A correspondent wishes to know
why a certain sort OF whiskey is callec
Perhaps because it is such a hard thing
to get over.
I'll never forget how first we met
Twas on a rainy day;
She gave me e. jab-I can feel IL yet
And blindly went her way.
Cleveland Leader.
The Baltimore widow with a huge
bank Who married her bicycle
instructor impaired that pneumatic
tired feeling ID the members of her
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Post.
Accurately Defined-"What is pro-
nunciatfon. Uncle JIM" 1t is some
thing you hunt up in a dictionary n
day and forget the next."-Chicago
Record.
Fuddy-Of whom does Miss Flanders
remind you since h took to the
Psyche knot?
Duddy-Not Psyche.-Boston Tran
script.
Wouldn't Stand Alone.-"They tell ME
Van Wither is very weak since his
last sickness" He is. l saw him on
the street just now and asked him for
a flyer: but he couldn't stand a loan"
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Scientific Mamma-Do not lance all
the evening. dear. Remember that the
dances Of an average ball cover a
total distance OF nine miles.
Practical Daughter-Oh, but q girl
is carried OF the way, mamma
Larks.
A young student lately presented
himself for examination. and ignomi-
niously failed. To his family. anxious
to hear of his success, he t~elegraphed
thus: Examinations splendid: pro-
fessors enthusiastic. They wish for a
second in October.-Tit-Bits
Often and Often-"Ah, my oor
man. said the benevolent old lady. Il
suppose you are often pinched by van
and hunger. are you not?"
"Yessum; n by de cops."-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Robert (holding up a long hair)-
How's this, old boy? How do you ac-
Oun for that?
Richard-Oh, that's all right. One
of my wife's.
Robert-Sorry I spoke. Dick: found it
on Charley's shoulder, you know
Boston Transcript.
DR.. Slade (who has been away
Where is Lop-eared Johnson? l have
not seen him since my return?
Alkali Ike-Lop-eared hain't here
any more.
mo defunct?"
''Thet's Jest what he done-defunct
with my hoss and Bill Hockersmith's
~wife."-Puck.
Miss Giddy-He! he, Mr.. Graves. I
didn't expect to find that you had gone
to the bOw-wowS.
MI. Graves-Oh, yes. 1 am one of the
judges.
Miss Giddy-Why, 1 didn't know they
had to have judges. That's why it's
called a bench show, I SuppOSe.-Har-
per'S Bazaar.
In misunderstanding, dear" said
Mrs. Emerson to her husband. what
is a c~utaneOuS paStime?"
"A ~cutaneOus paStime, love? / never
heard Of such a thing"
We'll l heard two men on the street
car talking, and one of them spoke of
a skin game."-BIo oklyn Life.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS threat
ems to sue that paper for publishing
the details of her divorce suit.
Madge-What part does she take eX-
ception to?
MarjOrie-AS soon as she knew they
were going to print the story, h sent
them her photograph, ana they left it
out.-Judge.
She CATER the Observation-Disclosures
you make me a present you mustn't
give me anything sharp, for it Will be
bad luck and our engagement will be
broke off.
He-Why, 1 Ion intend to give you
anything but myself.
She-Oh. you are altogether too
sharp. Consider the engagement bro
ken.-Truth.
Mr.. Wickwire OF all the fool bills
brought out this ear / think that one
by the Missouri man Furnishing rail-
road employees for flirting is one Of the
worst.
Mrs. Wickwire-Ill bet his wife put
him up to that
His wife?'
Yes. Some brakeman has run off
with her hired girl."-Washington Star.
George describes the girl he is en-
gagged to a perfect vision.
Yes. And his sister says she is a
sight."-IndianapOiiS Journal.