The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-11-21
THE BOWSER T%ROUBLEs.
Mr.. Bowser's Last Desperate Struggle
With the Bike and How II Ended.

was up. but rather looked for some new
tangled hre-oscape than a bike. She went
out into the hall and saw il was an old
wheel, but in good repair. and was pres
emily joined by Mr.. BOwser, who said.
yes. it's a bike. IL belongs 20 Jones.
He was kin enough to lend IL to me this
evening. / was talking with the doctor
again this forenoon"
Were you talking with the doctor
about politics. quietly asked Mrs. Bow
ser.
NO. ma'am. ! wasn't. / went To him
about my general health. and things are
more serious than / anticipated.
II hadn't heard that there was any
thing wrong with your general health
Perhaps not. When the average hus-
band nnds himself breaking down ne
doesn't scare his wife into nts by tell
ing her of it. The doctor gave me a thor
Ough examination. and he FOUND about
fifteen things wrong with me-.
And are YOU going to cure them AN
by mOnkeying with the bike2' sarcas-
tically Quoricd Mrs. BowseT.
Madam. don't forset who you are
talking to- I shall take certain liquid
remedies prescribed by the doctor. but
for threatened curvature of the spine,
weak knees. muscular rheumatism, short
ness Of breath. and general exercise 1
shall ride the bike"
'But YOU can't ride. You have tried it
several times. and always with dlsas-
trous results
I'm one hour from the present mo-
mont he replied, as he looked az ms
watch, 81 shall be gliding up ana down
the asphalt. On TWO or three occasions,
Just out of curiosity. ] a dallled with
the wheel. 7 then had no particular object
i'm view. Tonight / feel that my life de-
bends uuOu BE-. and will surprise YOU.
1T will end i'm the usual way, ana you
will blame me- she said as she turned
away I'm despair.
Blame YOU for what2 go 20 see the
doctor. lie recommends the bike. Jones
lends me his. / ride for an hour 20
straighten my spine. What nave YOU
got 10 do with a.? Mrs. Bowser, be sensi-
tle for once in your life. ! have got 20
ride tho wheel or ga under the 500. 1T
you wish 20 be left n widow-if you want
10 see me die hy inches and-dnd-
You'd better go out and ride. she in
tcrrurtod.
That's the way for a wife to encour-
age her husband. Just stand by me IN
tins thing and Ill live 10 be "a hundred
years old. ] knew you'd be all right AFTER
I had explained things. | took lessons
for two hours I'm a school to-day. ana
I'll surprise YOU
Mr.. Bowser removed his coat and vest
and trundled the wheel dow the steps
and out 10 the street. and Mrs. Bowser
followed with the family camphor bottle
I'm her hand. IL was night and the street
was clear. and Mr.. Bowser seemed to
have a great deal OF confidence IN him
self.
what T was practicing this afternoon
he said. as De got the wheel I'm position,
was the curb-stone mount. You raise
the leff-hand pedal MP so and put your
foot ON 10 and stand so. by giving "a gentle
spring and lifting the right foot az the
same time YOU get the proper impetus
and glide away-so.'
But there was no gliding. There was
an evident intention on tho part of the
bike 10 skate away down the street,
but there came "a sudden change OF pro-
erammo which dumped Mr.. Rowser into
the middle 81 the street and left the ma
chine on top Of him.
~ knew You couldn't do IL" said Mrs.
Bowser. as she removed the wheel ans
picked up his hat. You see
~ see everything he shouted as he
struggled mp. and If You kick that hind
wheel again 1 don't answer for the con-
~seQucuccsi'
~ never touched iti'
Don't dispute me. woman I rode forty
four times around "a big room to-day
and 7 know / can ride here. Mobile Ii
better mount by the step. stand back.
now. and give me n show
please be careful" she cautioned. f"It
isn't ms if YOU were % young man. Being
stif-kneod and awkward you will have 20
go slow
MT Bowser had intended 10 be extra
careful and mount by drcrces. as one
climbs up a ladder. but when Mrs. Bow
ser spoke of his being ~stih-knced ana
awkward he drew in his breath and made
a spring for the saddle. The saddle ought
TO have been around there somewhere
20 receive him. but IL wasn't and he had
Just time 10 utter n Wild yell before
he thumped the pavement. lie was lying
with his legs bent up under him and ms
half open eyes seeing flashes OF red. blue
and green lights. when Mrs. BOwser
vrnTNrI him and UufIH
MIR. Bowser. n this last fan hasn't
broken your neck 7 want 10 ask you a
question. Did the doctor say that tum-
bling off n blk like "a ton of bricks would
help your spinal column
You jumped agin me or put n stick
between tho snokesi' shouted Mr.. BOwser
as life returned and he sat mp. get
away from here-get into the yhrdt'
Mrs. Bowser protested and argued and
rotreated. and just then a boy came along
and lifted uD the wheel and said.
Don't cit discouraged. old man amt
nobody learn 20 ride a bike without tum-
bin Off. Lemme show you how the OH
thing works"
"Lemme hold that front wheel. 7 learned
my grandfather low 10 ride. ana he's
c%lghty-nine years old"
81 won't have you around. I say. ln
either Git on this wheel alone or leave
my corpse on the street, There's "a grade
20 this street. and the mistake ] made
was IN trying TO get on uphill. III point
IL the other way
"Allus git on 4 wheel when It's plated
dOWn-hin." SagtiV observed the boy ass
he crossed the street and sat down.
Mr.. BOwser looked around for Mrs.
Bowser. but she stood leaning gains
the fence and had nothing 10 say. HIS
head ached and his back achcd. and
he was lame In every joint. but he was
determined. He waited TWO or three min
utes and then jumped for the saddle.
He hit 10 just right and his feet also
found the pedals. and the machine rolled
along for ten feet. He was about 10 whOOp
In exultation when two bikists turned
the corner at full speed. Mrs. BOwser
screamed. the boy yelled and Mr.. BOwser
pulled on the lines. Next moment there
was "A great crash. three kinds OF whOops
and three riders and three wheels were
lying I'm "A heap. Two OF the riders ham
mered and Kicked and swore nj the third.
and presently u%ntangled themselves and
rode away. Mrs. BOw.Ser and the boy
went out 70 the heap left behind and
found ID TO consist Of a broken bike and
an unconscious man.
Hes alive" said the boy. as he lifted
up the head and twisted il about. yes.
ma'am. he's alive, but them fellers have
BACKED both his eyes. Knocked his nose
out OF plumb, and loOsencd most OF his
teeth. II he's any rclashun O. yours Id
hev him drawed into the house and send
fur q doctor"
And a week later, as Mr.. Bowser still
limDed about the house. he suddenly
aid 10 Mrs. Bowser as she was changirg
the fresh beef on his right eye:
Woman. | understand how this whole
thing came about. ana in a day or two
7 want 10 have a talk with you on legel
matters-on legal matters concerning Us,