davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

The fastest trains on the continent
are the expresses of the Northern Rail
way company of France Their speed
is 3G miles an hour.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

The stories told Of actors by enterpris-
ing press agents as a rule are pretty
poor stuff, but here is one concerning
James O'Neill that is really worth the
printing: During O'Neill's first season
in Monte Cristo" an old and we'll
known actor who was member of his
company died suddenly in Detroit. Aft
er the news of his death was wired over
the country Mr.. O'Neill was handed q
$125 collect message: Games O'Neill
Opera House, Detroit-Have just
learned that died last Monday.
Willing to take his place for $50 per
week. Am up in the roles and have
necessary costumes. Answer, quick"
The name signed to the message was
that of a very bad actor who, it is safe
to say, had never drawn a regular sal
airy in his life. Mr.. O'Neill replied, "col-
lect" of course: 'Your telegram received
and contents noted. | admire your cour-
age. I would not be willing to take his
place for twice that salary"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

The answers to correspondents col
umn sometimes furnishes amusement for
the irevenrent. In a recent instance the
fault was not with the conductor of the
department, but with the compositor, who
numbered the answers wrongly, and this
is the way he lost the paper valuable
subscriber: Question 1. Please give me
some hints about how to keep cool in hot
weather. 9 How can I make an old
shirt fit that is too large in the waist An
swer /. Run around with a narrow strip
of tape gathered at the waist in some
dark shade without ripping out or cutting
up. 2. Drink plenty of ice water.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Wearing apparel and household good:
dyed and cleaned like new
OTTO PIETSCH DYE WORKS,
Send for circulars Milwaukee, Wis
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

If the hair is falling out and truning
gray, the glands of the skin need stimu-
latlng and color-food, and the best rene
dy and stimulant is Halls Hair Re
newer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Nearly every man, woman and child
i'll Egypt is a smoker of cigarettes, and
pipe is hardly ever seen in the mouth
of native.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

She-"How can you tell good cigar
from a bad one?" He-"I buy my good
ones. ''-Roxbury Gazette.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

The pretty village of Morgantown, W.
Va, can boast of being the home of the
greatest crank of the age, man of past
threescore and ten. This man has en-
plOyed a lawyer to secure damages for
the loss of passage money paid by Jonah
when thrown overheard and cared for by
the whale. The Virginian traces his an
cestry to Jonah. and hopes to secure
principal and interest.-Pittsburg Bulle-
tin.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

James Payn recalls that, when young
and romantic, he agreed with a friend to
ascend Helvellyn from Thirlmere to see
the sun rise. The guide called them, as
the night, and he quite agreed with his
friend when the latter persuasively as,-ed
the guide, who was expatiating on the
beauties Of the dawn: Don't you think
that the sunset would be almost as bean
tiful?'' This recalls the undergraduate
who, when rebuked by the dean of the
college for not coming to morning chanel
replied: But o'clock is such an incon,
venient hour, sir. If it were 4, or even
5, one could sit up for it,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

-Octavius Augustus had a mortal
dread of thunder, and whenever a storm
came on he retired to an underground
vault built for protection.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

ooaoFrance, with a population of $4,000
OOO, has a fighting force of 1000, 900,
able to appear in the field at very short
notice
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Gen. Cambronne did not say: 1.-The
guard dies, but does not surrender" The
words were the invention of Paris
journalist, and attributed to him.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Down to the Norman conquest the
Britons had Giving money" and dead
money" the former being slaves and cat
tie, the latter metal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20
SPINNING WHEEL.
THE COMING WINTER.

THE COMING WINTER.
Tinkle, tinkle, little bell,
Upon the handle-bar you dwell;
Up above the Pickering light,
You tinkle, tinkle, every night.
With a voice of tinkling mirth,
You warn pedestrians off the earth;
But ere long there will be snow,
Then you will not tinkle so.
Chicago News.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Piso's Cure for Consumption is the
only cough medicine used in my house.
d. G. Albright, Mifiinburg, Pa, Dec
IL, '95.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

EFT Permanently Cured. No fits after
j " first days OF Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Re
storer Send for FREE a2 90 trial bottle treatise
Dr. T. H. KLINE Id 9Sl Arch Street. Philadelphia Pa
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

chills, as if the
heart were go
ing to stop fol-
good, are symp
toms of a dan
gerous nervous
trouble. Those
hot flashes are
just SO
many calls ~
from ma 49,
ture for "a
help. The
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Alexander the Great had a large
number of wives, and was accustomed
to reduce them to obedience by using
the fiat of his sword as a corrective.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

A Broad Hint.-Husband-" My friend
hardly recognized you today" Wife
That's strange, for | wore the same
hat you bought for me three years ago.
-Fliegende Blaetter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

1t is related that at Princeton Theolog-
ical seminary recently a young preacher
persuaded a fellow student to listen to
him while he rehearsed sermon. His
subject was Light" With violent ges-
ture with the right arm he said: blot
out the SUM-" With similarly frantic
movement of the left arm he roared,
blot out the moon" Then, with com
bined gesture, made up of both arms he
beloved, blot out the stars!' But it
was enough. The auditor arose to leave
with a hoarse, cruel whisper, Turn off
the gasv-Chicago interior.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

P. T. Barnum, the famous Snowman,
once walked into DR.. Collyer's church
just as the preacher entered the pulpit
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Mrs. WfnsIOw's SOOTHING SYRUP for chill
dren teething, softens the gums, reduces inham.
nation, allays pain. cures wind collie 25c bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

A friend at Mare island sends us a
story of a marine of German nativity who
was told, when standing watch, to call
ont the marine guard in case the officer
of the day should pass. When the occa-
sion came and the officer of the day, clad
in full uniform, made his appearance, our
good German became so ratified that he
forgot his English and called out. Kun
men sic heraus NIT die guard. Der
Kaiser is comin'r'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Send for Glenn's Sulphur Soap If troubled with
an eruption abra sion of the skin.
Halls Hair and Whsker Dye, black brown
zoe.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Mrs. Newlywed-"Jo ohm, are you going
to church today Or aren't yOu?" Mr..
Newlywed (absentiy}-"Who's going to
pitch PUCK
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Philadelphia has greater mileage OF
electric railways than the whole of Ger
many.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Halls Catarrh Cure.
Is taken internally. Price Is cents.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20
He RESPONDED

'Be heater, John! Be neater, Johni''
She said to him one day,
Commenting sloven act upon
That Weakened her dismay
He glanced at her with funny leer,
Then did this answer pass
That's just the thing am, nv dear.
Beaneater, from old Mass
Boston Courier
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Dottie-"Mamma, l guess my dolly's
mamma must have been a very unpious
lady" Mamma-''Why so, Dot?" Dot
tie-"Why, she made her so her Fnees
won't bend. l have to put her ON her
stummick to say her prayers. House
hold Words.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Hi Higgins-"I don't see why they
don't have electricity fixed up SOS us
farmers could have some of the good of
it."
Cal Swump-.'Whut do you want?
Somethin' to lectrocute tn cabbage
worms and pertato bugs?'
Hi Higgins-"That would be putty
nice, but whit / was thinkin' erbout was
ter have it ter shock our wheat and
corn. "-Up-tO-Date.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Sounded Queer = Mrs. Wickwire-
aren't you trihe late in getting home?"
Mr.. Wickwire-''I went to the theater.
They had nautical piece on. [ have
been to a good many plays of one kind
and another, but this one is one you want
to see to see sea scenery Henry
Wickwire! Have you been drinking?'-
Indianapolis Journal.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

In Scotland when an infant is to be
baptized, the father is bound to show
some kind of speaking acquaintance with
the shorter catechism. One day a collier
went to his minister to bespeak him for
the christening of his child. ''How many
commandments haze yep asked the min
lister. Twenty" rejoined the collier,
who was forthwith sent back to pursue
his studies in elementary theology. On
his way he met brother miner, who
was going to the minister on a similar
errand. How many commandments
haze ye, jock? asked the first. 'Ten."
"Oh! you needn't trouble him WI ten;
offered him twenty the while, but he
wasIa satisfied. Household Words.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

The Baron (strolling in the cemetery
"Ah, my good Zephyr; young as ever, |
seer'
Gravedgger (obsequiously) : 'Your
lordship's very kind. l hope to have the
pleasure of making your lordshiD's
STRAIGHTFORWARD Amusant
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

A good-natured Anglican parson was
riding one day in jaunting car near the
Lakes of Killarney, whose famous echoes
sometimes repeat a sound as many as
eight times. Wishing to ''take a rise out
of the driver" the clergyman said:
DO you know, Pat, that there are
none but Protestant echoes here?'
mo, sir, l niver hard it, and I dealt
believe it aither,' was the reply.
"Wen, you shall hear it very soon.'
said the Anglican. Arriving at favor
able spot he called out softly, raising his
voice to loud pitch on the last word:
do you believe in Pic Nono? and the
echo replied:
mo, no! No, no! No, Mop
Pat was delighted at the joke, and,
rubbing his hands gleefully, said:
"Bedad, whin [ drive one of the raal
clargy here won't have the sport OUT Of
him?" An the parson rather doubted the
success of his ruse.-Catholic Standard
and Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20
Story of How ST. Paul Woman was
Induced to Follow the Indians Exc
ample, and, Like Them, She En-
joyed Health.
Other Suffering WomenShould
Do Likewise.
The Kickapoo Indian Remedies, as Sold
To-day, Are Identically the Same as
They Were When Used by the Indians,
and Still Prove Themselves in Every
Instance to be Restorers of Health.

There are hundreds of women to-day who
are semi-invalids, worse perhaps than though
they were absolutely confined to their beds.
They drag themselves around, unable to enjoy
life, unable to attend to their work, suffering
continually more or less, and with each year be-
coming greater burden to their families. The
cause for such troubles may often be found in
q deranged condition of some one of the great
vital organs of the body, the stomach acting i'm
properly, failing to digest its food as it should,
the blood becoming impure, and no longer
absorbing the nourishment derived by the
stomach from the food, the kidneys and the
llver diseased and unable to eXpel from the
body the poisonous secretons that naturally
collect therein and all this results eventually
in collapse of greater or less magnitude, I'M
til the patient either ends life of weary inva-
ldism by complete breaking up of the vital
forces, or in her weakened
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

They have visiting them the Nelson's Mrs Duckworth
from Kentucky who used be great
She she used suffer greatly with headache
indigestion and constipation remedy but
could find relief until she began using Rpans
first Tabule relief says
The indigestion and constipation disappeared
considers Ripans Tabules
the best medicine in the world.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Many years ago, when Londoners had
not the excursion facilities for getting
into the country that they enjoy now, a
cockney friend was staying at farm
house, and soon made himself at home
Charley, with his pipe on, was wander
ing round, closely examining the top,
ends and sides Of a certain trim, we'll
made object fenced round in the pad
dock. He stared at it for little while,
then shook his head obviously.
What are you looking for now,
Charley?"
Where's the doors and windows,
uncle?"
Doors and windows? Why, that's a
haystackr'
No fear, uncle, you don't humbug me !;
hay don't grow in Jumps like thatn'-
Answers
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20


drHgs, follow their example and take Natures
life would be theirs. Kickapoo Indian Sagwa,
the great blood purifier and invigorator of the
stomach, liver and kidneys, by keeping these
organs in healthy condition, makes good
health an assured fact. Mrs. Harriet Jansen
of 554 Bay ST., st. Paul, Mimi, is one of the
great army of women who had suffered for
years and at last found health and strength by
using kickApoC Indian Sagwa. To use her
own words, she says: SO had been an invalid
for five years, and had spent great deal Of
money for doctors and medicines Received
no benefit from any Of them. | was induced
by a friend to try KicEapoo Indian Sagwa.
Three bottles made different person of me.
My appetite returned. / sleep we'll and enjoy
my self as | used to before l was i'll and life
became burden to me. / can now do my
own house work again, as had not been able
to do for several years. Am gaining in flesh
and my friends say look five years younger.
All this thank God for, and bless you as the
instrument in the hands of an all-wse Prov
dence, who effected complete cure in my
case. | recommend your medicines to every
one whenever the opportunity offers, and /
can safely say that your Kickapoo Indian
Sagwa will do all, and more than you claim
for it."
We VIII mail free tc any address, our pam
phlet entitled {" The kickapoo Indian Doctor
This is full of useful information in regard 10
symptoms of disease, how to prevent disease,
and how tC cure disease. No family shorlj
D, without this useful and instructive book.
Address the Kickapoo Indian Medicine Com.
pany, New Haven, Conn.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

odd you ever love before. Reggie
dear?' Eyes, darling But only il
a small way."-Life
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

Sir Walter Scott once told, with ever
sign of belief, an extraordinary story o
the supernatural, which he had receive
from his grandmother. "But how" aske
his astonished and incredulous hearel
do you possibly account for it?'' ''Ait
Inns" replied Sir Walter, 'my grand
mother was liar"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

The present bishop of Peterborough is
very fond of telling the following story
at his own expense. He went TO preach
in certain town, and, arriving very ear
", walked into the church to have lock
around. An elderly lady also arrived
early, hoping to obtain a good seat. On
seeing the bishop she mistook him for the
pew opener, and, slipping a half crown
into his hand, said: Give me a good seIt,
where [ can see the bishop The aston
ished but good-natured prelate took the
half crown and showed the lady into a
front seat. Who can imagine the poor
lady's feelings when she saw the pew
opener ascend the pulpit ?-London Teie-
graph.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-10-20

A gentleman once happened to visit
Carlyle just after a brilliant man Of
genius had left him. AS they met at the
door, the man of genius said: 81 have
just been visiting poor Carlyle. He is q
mere wreck-a mere wreck" AS the sec
ond visitor greeted Carlyle, he remarked
$50 you've just had Mr.. - with YOU
Yes was the answer of the ''nIere
wreck" ''and he thinks God Almighty
never made such anotherr'
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-09-26
ATHLETIC ENTERTAINMENT

Advertise in the Sunday Light.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-09-26

schools there have been very few
suspensions OF pupils for derelic7
ton of their duties.
Complaint was made to police
headquarters yesterday that a
stray horse was destroying gar
dens and shrubbery about the
neighborhood OF Evergreen street
and San Pedro avenue. 5
Two stray horses were picked
UP at Hellmann's postoffice near
San Juan Mission a few days ago.
They are supposed to have strayed
away from this city. o.
A Mrs. Walker, substitute
teacher, has been appointed in
charge OF the class of Mrs. Sublett,
ex-teacher in one Of the city's coli
ored schools, who recently r.
signed to go to Washington toac-
cept a position. The school board
will fill the vacancy at its next
meeting ~
-Wanted-A German girl for
general housework Ill jackson
street. -. It,
~-Messrs. @. w. Martin, T. HI,
Logan, Robert Logan and Mrs.
Rose, all residing in adjoining
houses on Dakota street, near the
corner of Cactus, are victims OF
the dengue.
A meeting of the San Antonio
Mutual Benevolent and Aid so
ciety was held in Piper's hall, cor
ner Eda and Wyoming streets,
last night, President w. L. Schu'
macher presiding.
The Mt. Zion Baptist church,
colored, has arranged to give an
entertainment, styled the Widows
auction, Friday and Saturday
nights, October lst and End, fol-
the benefit of the church.
"A bill OF sale was filed in thu
county clerks office yesterday
whereby G. Pierone conveys to the
Lone Star Brewing company 9
saloon and also a one-story frame
building in Jones Avenue and
Elmira street for $140. .i
Three football teams have beer
organized for the season, the w
T. NJ. A., the High school and the
Y. NJ. G. A. teams. &e1
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-09-26
TGIls Bose Boil Averages
Srn Antonio Leads In Club Batting
For The Season,
Brief Summary, Giving The Names
Of The Leading Players Of
3 The Texas League.

President Heuermann, of the Texas
Baseball association has just eomplet-
ed the players averages for the past
season, of which the Light today pre-
sents a brief summary. f~''
In the first series San Antonio leads
in club batting and Houston in field
ing. In the second series Waco leads
in club batting and Fort Worth in
fielding. 49,
In the club batting for the entire
season San Antonio leads with a per-
centage OF 314. The other clubs follow
in order: Galveston, 800; Denison,
Waco, 290; Austin, 2S5; Dallas, 276;
Paris, 275; Fort Worth, 26s; Houston,
253. tHt GlgT tsa lsi5
The Individual batting averages are
as follows, only the leading batsmen
being given: First series-Nance, 405 !;
Chiles, 1856; Weikart, 371 Klopf, 1863; J..
Hess, $40; Keefe, 1888; Kemmer, 1886;
Bailey. S24; Kohnle, S24; Knau, 80;
Herbert, 299. Second series-Fabian,
Alb; Weikart, 412; Pabst, 400; Nance,
37S; Callahan, S74; Huston, 81; Tur-
ner, 1863; Kemmer, 1858; Bailey, $50; o.
Conner, 347; Knau, 3S9; Stanley, S2s;
Weber, 81; Herbert, 300.
The individual batting averages Of
the first and second series combined
shows up the San Antonio team as fol-
lows: Herbert, S61; Bailey, S27; Knau,
1926; O'Connor, 1923; Weber, S14; Clark,
S1S; Stanley, 300; Kohnle, S01; Valdois,
232; fitzpatrick, 230. 1t will be seen
that with but two exceptions, all the
Bronchos batted in the 500 class during
the entire season.
In the individual fielding averages
the leaders are as folows:
Pitchers-First series, Mulkey Sec
ond series, McGinnis.
Catchers-First series, Welsh, Cote
and Stanley; second series, Miller,
Hodge and Stanley.
First Basemen-First series, Reed,
Turner, and O'Connor; second series,
o'Connor, Pabst, Me, Meyer, Turner
and Weikart.
Second Basemen-First series, Reed,
McGann and Weber; second series,
Hill. Reed and Weber.
Third Basemen-First series, Fender,
Metsmer and Dowie, Clark being sew
enth; second series, Peoples, Pequinney
and Dowie, Valdois being eighth.
hortstops-Bammert, Knau, Klopf,
Hall.
Outfielders-First series, Blackburn,
Partridge. ]. Hess, Klopf, Lawrence,
Chamberlain, Bailey, Kohnle, Petit
john, McCloskey, Kimerer; second Sc
ries. Reynolds, ]. Hess, Lawrence,
Peppers. Shines, Shaffer, Bailey,
Ward. Fabian, Nance, Becker, KIM
merer, Knox, Gettman.