The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1897-01-27
A Tax on Single Blessedness.
From the Philadelphia Record.

From the Philadelphia Record
ACCORDING 70 opinions generally en-
tertained in the United States, the Re-
publics of South America are still chill
dren, SO to speak, in the family of ma
tons, they having barely emerged from
the condition of instability and violent
eruption which marked their nascence.
But it seems that these opinions were
mistaken, and that Argentina, at least,
is confronted with the problems charac-
teristic of an effete civilization. The
inclination of the jeunesse dore of Rome
toward celibacy marked the beginning
of the decline of the Roman Common
wealth, and the introduction of bill
into the Legislature OF Argentina war
rants the conclusion that a similar dis
position indicative OF national deca-
dence has become noticeable among
the youth of our South American sister
Republic.
The bill in question provides for the
levy of a monthly tax upon all cell
bates between the ages of 20 and SO
years, the rate to be made progressively
oppressive. Thus unmarried men be-
tween 20 and 80 years of age would be
required to pay s. per month, and the
amount demanded by the State for the
privilege of remaining single would be
gradually increased until hardened Of
tenders of from so to 20 years of age
would be mulcted for their obstinacy
by monthly fine of $50. The Argen-
tine Lycurgus who drafted this bill evil
IDENTIFY has a vein of humor running
through his stern Spartan earnestness /;
for he is disposed 10 let off the old boys
of 10 years or over with a small month
ly tax of so cents. Furthermore, TO de-
prive the Argentine bachelors of even
the transparent excuse that their cell
bacy is due to the unwillingness of the
spinsters to accept their suits, our mod
ern Lycurgus proposes 20 make it very
expensive for Argentine coquettes to
trifie with hearts that may be figura-
tivey laid at their feet. Article V of
the proposed law provides that a single
woman who shall, without legitimate
cause, reject an aspirant for her hand,
and shall fail to marry some one else
within a stated time thereafter, shall
be fined in the sum of $500, the same to
be bestowed upon the rejected and de-
jected aspirant as a salve for his wound
ed pride-and probably in order that he
may be furnished with the means TO
pay his celibacy tax for year or two,
during which time, it is TO be presum-
ed, he will have met better fate at the
hands of some less coy dam sci.
Widowers are to be given three years
in which to celebrate their release from
the bonds of matrimony; but when
their legal period of freedom from bond
age shall have elapsed they are to be
subject, if the bill should become law
to the same tax as that imposed upon
<ADQ lllC W
day! are placed by the bill in the same
category as widowers. The bill, it is
true, seems to make an exception in IA
vor of widows over so years of age,
these being exempt from the tax on
single blessedness. This exemption is
a mere false pretense, however; for who
ever saw a widow under so willing to
confess to more than 80 years of age?
1t is greatly to be feared that our Ly-
curgus nodded when he drafted this
part of his bill, and the provision lev
eled against unmarried widows is more
likely to encourage mendacity than to
discourage celibacy.
To cap his legislative pyramid the
Argentine lawgiver proposes that the
net proceeds of the tax on celibates
shall be annually distributed among
the fathers of families who can prove
that they have at least twelve children.
Thus would the Argentine currency be
kept in an active condition of ebb and
flood; and thus would the ease and
pleasure loving celibates be compelled,
willy nilly, to contribute their share
toward bringing up the rising genera
ton. The artist who constructed this
unique and bizarre bit of legislative ar.
chitecture has been referred 20 above
as Lycurgus; on second thought this
appellative must be withdrawn as in
appropriate to one who has evidently
obtained his instruction in the art OF
government from Sancho Panza, squire
to Don -Quixote and Governor of the
Island of Barataria.