davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

He had been home for weeks, but
was still indignant. He had put in three
days at the summer resort, he said,
when his Indignation became SO great
that he called for his bill and said to
the landlord:
81 believe you advertised magnificent
scenery up here?"
eyes, sir, I did,, was the prompt re-
ply.
"With coed fishing in the lake,"
"With good fishing, sir"
"And pure air and no mosquitoes?"
"That's it, sir. That's the way the
advertisement reads"
"And flies unknown?'
"And flies unknown.
"And you guaranteed the location
free from malaria?"
Eyes, sir, 1 did"
"And, sir" continued the guest,
"you advertised that your table was
unsurpassed, your rooms large and
airy, and that everybody would be made
to feel at home"
EXACTLY, sir. Yes, all that is in my
advertisement. Is there anything wrong,
STRIP
81 should say there was! Where is
the scenery"
"There is none in particular"
"And the fish,"
"Never knew of one being caught
here"
"And there are thousands of flies and
mosquitoes"
"True, sir, true"
"And your table is poor, your rooms
stuffy, and there's nothing homelike
about the place"
"That's true, sir--all true"
"Then you admit that you lied about
it?'' asked the guest.
"Oh, is that what you are getting
at?' replied the landlord. "Why, of
course, of course. Yes, sir, I lied about
it, and I'd have told you so half an
hour ago if you'd mentioned it. Yes,
sir, I'm a liar, and your bill is $3.50.
Shall be glad to have you stay longer
next season." M. QUAD.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
PERT PERSONALS.

Emperor William might do well in
melodrama. philadelphia Ledger.
1t is stated that Russell Sage spends all
his time in New York. This appears to
be the only item on the expense side.-Ex-
change.
The Earl of Rosslyn has been forced
into bankruptcy, and later on may be
forced into an American marriage .-Wash-
ington Post.
Mrs. James Brown Potter has left the
stage. This really looks as if she was do
ing her best to elevate it.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Kangaroo Bob Fitzsimmons has ceased
to be an Elk, and the intiexible laws of
nature are again signally vindicated.- st.
Louis Republic.
Gladstone is failing, and lovers of liber-
ty the world over will lament the dim
ming of the beacon that burned for all hu-
manity.-New York journal.
Hetty Green has tried society md is dis
gusted with it. From this on she will
stick to her cotton umbrella and railroad
Observation-Disclosures Press.
Secretary Chamberlain, will please re-
member that the last time Englishmen
fixed up a form of government for Ameri-
ca Gney maze ID mess OI Gnlladelp
Ledger.
Mayor Strong of New York has been
knighted by the exclusive Holland Danes
of Manhattan. This must be a recogni-
ton Of his services in making afternoon
tea Observation-Disclosures North Ameri-
can.
an. de Paris, " the executioner of the
French capital, is about to retire, having
served 35 years at a salary of "$1, 200 a
year and perquisites." Do the ''perqui-
sites'' consist in tips from monsieur's
clients?-St. Paul Pioneer Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
THE HORSE SHOW.

Old Bert Sheldon has trotted 90 heats in
2:16M, which iG his record.
Miss Finley, 1901, by Theron, holds
the Tauntol Mass. } half mile track record
at 2:15M.
Mrs. j. Fl. Conklyn has driven eight
different horses miles in $3.50 or better the
past season.
Marcus Days colts won SIS, SIS all told
were "the stable"
j. J. Moran has bought a ranch near
Anaconda, Mon, and will open up a
public training stable there.
klamath holds the Santa Ana (Cal.)
track record at 2:1O. Before Cookee set
1t in the even notch it was 2:11H.
Levi Patterson of C~arbondale, Pa, has
purchased Benida, 2:14H, from Silas Jones
of Scranton; price reported, 81, 600.
A. K. Miller, H. Miller, William Obert
and Frank Obert, Lehighton, Pa, have
bought Big Timber, 2:18. The price was
500.
Prince Lavallard, 2:14N, the gray son
of Lavallard, was n of the most useful"
trotters campaigned on eastern tracks the
past season.
Sweepstakes, dam Of Star Pointer, Hal
Pointer, Sky Pointer and Cloud Pointer,
is now 81 years old. Therefore she was 10
when her greatest son was foaled.
Joe Hanlon, the boy who rubs Robert J,
says that Gentry bit the tip of Robert s
ear off because he was mad at him for 60
ing the better mile over tho Syracuse half
mile track.
W.. H. Richfield Of Lexington, KY, at
one time part owner Of Monbars, will have
charge of the t~rotters which were recently
purchased by the government Of Japan
Horseman.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
Notice to Cot

rs, 1897.
To Norman J. Verge, his heirs and assigns
You are hereby notified that you
Paul Roehl, has in accordance with the provis-
ions of section 1924, revised statutes of the Unit
ed States, expended in labor and improvements
upon the Calumet quartz lode mining claim, sit
uated in Montana (unorganiZed) mining district,
in Cascade county, formerly in Meagher county
where the location notice was recorded, in the
state of Montana, the sum of one hundred dol
for the purpose of holding and representing said
quartz lode mining claim according to law for
the year 1896; and unless you contribute your
portion of said expenditure with interest and
cost of this advertisement to the undersigned
within ninety days alter service of this notice
by publication, your interest in said quartz lode
mining claim will become forfeited, and become
the property of the undersigned as provided in
section 2324, of the revised statutes of the United
States of America. Paul Roehl.
First publication, August q, 1897.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

Special correspondence of the HERALD
Mr.. and Mrs. Miebach have moved to
town far the winter.

Special correspondence of the HERALD
Mr.. and Mrs. Miebach have moved to
town far the winter.
Mrs j. II. Bridges and daughter were
calling on old friends this week.
Wesley Tolivcr has moved his family
to Arlington in order to be near a good
school.
pioneer resident of Monarch, died last
month at his mothers home in Idaho.
His age was 10.
Chas. Chiffon is at present busily en-
gagged in building "A new cutter which
when completed will surely be envied
by the Neihart boys.
Louis Pfatfenbach has packed his
blacksmith kit and hicd himself to the
fast growing, new old town of Barker.
His family still resides in Monarch.
Al Phippen, Monarch's enterprising
man, has erected Il large building, in
which he has placed IL steam power
machine for grinding small grain. The
capacity of his mill is As bushels pei
hour.
Roderick Mcdonald is contemplating
q trip to the the Judith country for tho
purpose of purchasing some steers fol-
the spring market. He has a large
quantity of hay with which to feec
stock for the winter.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
QUAD'S QUEER TALES.
A Missing Brother.

The only passenger who got off the
evening train at Jackson's Valley came
up to the shanty hotel, in front of which
a dozen of us were sitting after supper.
Taking a vacant chair and lighting his
pipe, he said to the postmaster next to
him:
About six weeks ago my brother Ben
started from Laurel Hill for this place.
He got here all right, but 1 can't find
what became of him afterward. Hev
you hung anybody lately?"
1--WE are hangin somebody every
three or four days" replied the post
I think we hung a chap last Friday
yes, l ! know we did"
eff my brother Ben was hung, it was
several weeks ago. Ben was a big fell
low, with a sort of bumped back, and
he had a sort of roar in his voice when
he spoke"
would he give us any excuse to
hang him?"
II think he would. Bein in a strange
town and wantin to show off, he'd go
around bluffin everybody. Brother Ben
is great Oh h bluff.
"But would he shoot or do anything
of that sort?'' asked the postmaster.
81 never knowed him to, but he
might. Bluff was his great holt, but it's
jest possible that he might hev shot at
somebody to back it up. Try and think
if you hung him."
Lets see-let's see! Big man-big
voice-humped back-great hand to
bluff? Did his toes turn in?"
eyes, they did"
"And when he reared, he sort of
winked one eyer"
"That's Ben to a dot"
1.-TWO front teeth gone and a scar ON
his cheek?"
Exactly. You must hev seen brother
Ben"
eyes, l have. We hung that man
five n six weeks ago. and his grave is
up on the hill. He bluffed around here
for three OF four days and was finally
ordered off. He didn't go, and so we
hung him."
"And did he die easy?' asked the
stranger.
Turty easy, IL L remember TlSnG.
"Hev much to say?"
"Not much. Said he'd like to see his
brother Jim once more, l think"
"That's me. So he's hung and bur
led, eh?"
eyes, hung and buried. No hard
feelings, l hope?"
"Oh, non tall. I was jest inquirin,
you know, and bein satisfied that it was
my brother Ben and bein willin to be-
lieve that the burned kuss deserved
what he got I guess I'll go in and git
some supper and then jog along back"
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

The finest train IN the world is the
"New North-W Western Limited which
leaves Minneapolis and st. Paul every
night for Chicago, via the Northwestern
line. This magnificent train, from the
mammoth engine, patterned after the ia
o $685." to the last car in the train,
is brand new, and represents the latest
and best ideas for absolute comfort and
luxury while travelling.
Besides the splendid buffet library car
really a clubroom on wheels, there is a
magnificent private compartment sleep
ing car, just the thing for ladies, famil-
les or those desiring privacy, luXuriously
appointed standard sleeping cars and the
most comfortable and we~ll-equipped day
coaches ever offered the travelling public.
This "New Limited" train is admitted
by the press as we'll as by thousands of
people of Minnesota and states west who
have inspected it, and also by many
others of this western country who have
recently rode on it, as being without any
question the finest tram in the world,
and no extra charge is made for any class
of passengers for its superior accommo-
dations.
Tickets via this popular line may be
secured from agents of the Northern Pa
cific railway, who will also make sleep
ing car reservations; or, apply to Capt,
M. M. Wheeler, travelling passenger agt.,
Miles city, Mont, or to T. w. Teasdale,
G. p. A, st. Paul, MINI.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
Grand New Years Eve Ball.

The fourth annual ball of the Odd
Fellows of Banner Lodge No. 40 will be
held in Frisco hall Friday night, Dec.
81. 1t will be the last social event of
1897 and the first of 1898. Here the
public will meet, wearing gayspiritsand
boiled buds, to watch the old year slide
and the new one bob into existence. II
will be an excellent occasion. Supper
will be served ut the Frisco, at 80 cents
a plate. The direction Of the various
appointments will be attended to by the
following committees:
Arrangements: r. G. Vaughan. G
w. Brown, G. 5. Bailey.
Reception: Messrs and Mesdames
Jonathan McAssey, f. A. Preston, G.. S
Bailey, H. T. Rosgard, John Mcdonald
Chas. Braman, Andy Nelson, Mike Xii,
leen; Mr.. j. c. Wells.
Door: A. G. Wilson, II. II. Rosgard
J. Ellenberger, Tom Mcdonald.
Decoration: Jas. Gam, L. A. Bruce
Charles Ackroyd, Harry Lewis, VIM
Schuman, Joe Ferris, Oscar Lemon, A
F. Hendricks, w. j. Smith.
Floor; Geo. S. Bailey. A. d. Nc
Leod, G. W. Brown, Mike Killeen
Frank Edwards, Avon Edwards.
Parlor Games: Messrs and Mesdames
F. A. Preston, r. G. Vaughan.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

Chas. Gordon who has frequently Wis
tied Neihart in aye palmie dayes." and
known to many of our people, sadly be
1t mentioned, shot and killed a compan-
on named Hepler with whom he was
hunting. The incident occurred west
of Sun River last week. The affair is
purely accidental, and Mr.. Gordon feels
very deeply the sorrow attending it.
Chas. Ettien and Bert Smith have
opened the Vienna bakery and refitted
and refurnished it completely. The in
terror of this house is most pleasing to
the eye, evincing excellent taste and
good ability on the part of the enter
prising proprietors. They are first class
experienced and up-to-date bakers, and
are prepared to cater to the public in all
lines of plain or fancy work to order.
Call and see their splendid rooms and
be convinced of the merits of the new
firm.
Soule & Parry, the old reliable firm
of butchers, are ever awake to the wants
and requirements of their patrons. Their
display of Christmas goods this year is
the finest that ever came to town. The
walls OF the shop are lined with dressed
beef, pork, mutton and veal. The
counters and fish boxes groan with their
burden of poultry of all kinds, fish and
oysters. The lighter hooks are hung
full of pork sausage summer sausage,
bologna and weinerwurst. The eaters
of meat will here find a temptation to
the appetite such as you read of, but do
not often experience.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
Gold Fields of Alaska.

The Alaska Passenger & Prospecting
Co. of Stockton, California and 776
Mission street, San Francisco, California,
arranging to land its patrons at Cop
per river and the gold diggings on the
Yukon river including Dawson City
ahead of its competitors. Nearly all of
the other companies have sold their
tickets and have set their dates for June.
We shall be at the mouth of the Yukon
before that time. Our transportation
offer is by far the best now before the
public. You are allowed to carry one
years supply of food free, and we will
land you at any of the above named
places for $40. We can carry put 800
on Il first steamer. There will be at
least 100000 90 to Alaska in the spring
and all will want to take the first boats,
which will be impossible. Our terms
are such that those who decide quickly
can secure a passage and go on ahead of
the rush.
OUR TERMS-All we require is $50
down and upon receipt of same, we will
send you a receipt. Balance of 800 is
payable when you arrive to take the
steamer. The company reserves the
right to return your money in case oul
tickets are all sold before your deposit
arrives. Address all letters and make
all money payable to Alaska Passenger
& Prospecting Co., Stockton, California
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
n WOMAN Halter.

The more a man has to do with women,
the more he finds it necessary to lie.
If a Mary writes her name Mae or
Marie, that settles it-she can't cook.
A soft, gentle, pleading voice soon be-
comes more tiresome than a rasplng one.
1t is not difficult for a man to be q
woman's ideal if he lives in another state.
Any girl who raves over a football
player will prove to be fond of gritty
gooseberry pie.
Women have great respect for a woman
who has her hair done up by a profes-
sional hairdresser.
When a woman wants to give an under
handed swipe at another woman, she
makes fun of her dressmaker.
Somehow it always makes a man feel
like laughing TO hear a woman past ~
speak of her mother as mamma"
A woman's soul seems to be a good
deal more valuable thar hat of a mans,
Judging from the frantic effort she makes
to save it.
The day after a woman has spent q
great deal of money on foolishness she
boils the potatoes with their jackets on in
order not to waste the skins. -Atchison
Globe.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
THE TATTLER.


"Mlle. Mark Twain is what Figaro of
Paris calls the daughter Of Samuel l..
Clemens.
Mary Anderson Navarro is not going to
sing on the stage professionally. Never
theless she is going to Paris for the pur-
pose of cultiyating her voice.
Mrs. Kate f. johnson of Norton, Kan,
has been elected county treasurer on the
Republican ticket. She owns two good
farms and manages them profitably.
Miss Nellie Salome Thomas of Boston
while in England went to Malvern, and,
after decorating the grave of Jenny Lind,
started a fund for a memorial window in
the abbey.
Mrs. Lon V. Stephens, the wife of the
governor of Missouri, has published in a
newspaper the diary she kept when a
schoolgirl and since her husbands polit-
ical elevation.
Miss Susan b. Anthony, while in st.
Paul not long ago, was given q flower for
each year of her life. Seventy eight chill
dren filed before her, and each one dropped
3 full blown rose into the suffragist's lap.
The Boston Advertiser tells of two wom-
sn, Mrs. Nellie Kimball and Mrs. Emma
Hamilton, who own coal and wood yards.
Both women are prospecting n both at
tend personally to the details of the bust
ness.
Mime. Josefa Humpal Zeman of Chicago
is the only Bohemian newspaper woman
In this country, and she was recently hon
ored by the male members of the National
Slavic Press association by being elected
secretary of that organization.
Miss Augusta Main of New Berlin,
Conn, charged with an assault with in
tent to kill, declared in court that there
were two things in the world she hated,
and they were men and dogs. II never
see either" she said, "but what l ache to
kill them"
Countess Hermann Itchy is about to
open a tobacconist's shop at Budapest.
Her husband was obliged to resign from
the Hungarian parliament on account of
his debts and for a time edited a Hun
garian newspaper in New York. The
countess has sung on the music hall stage.
Lady Marcus Beresford had a recent ex-
hibition of cats at the Crystal palace cat
show. 1t is said that she has the most re-
markable collection Of tabbies in the
world. All the cats are named and know
when they are called. They are devoted to
their indulgent mistress, who has a man
specially to care for them.
1t is a fact worthy of note that Mrs. q.
B. Lincoln of Plattsburg, Mo-, who has
won so many medals for her wholesome
bread, as exhibited at several fairs, exposi.
tions, etc, is not a graduate of any cook
ing school. Her mother taught her to
MAKE bread when she was about 12 years
Of age, and she in turn has taught her lit
tie daughters.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
A Popular Election.

w. II. Harvey, whose name is immor-
tai in the financial world has evolved a
new proposition which will surely tend
to r~evivify the political issues with es-
pecial reference to that question which
the people may consider as first in de-
gree of Importance. From his chair as
first National Patriot of the Order of
Patriots of America Mr.. Harvey has pro-
claimed an election for the members of
that order to be held on the 18th day of
January 1898, at which will be SUBMIT
ed ten political questions of the hour,
asking the member to vote upon them,
''yes" or 'no," and also to cnumerate
the questions in the order of importance
to which the voter assigns them. We
will print the questions next week so
that the public may be better informed
upon the subject. The special interest
mt Ncihart in this matter lies in the fact
that the p. of A.. here numbers more
than 100 in membership. And in the
United States the more interest attaches
to the occasion, because about one mill
ion voters from every state in the Union
will register their opinions in this man
ncr for the first time. 1t looks as il
great good should grow out of the elect
ion.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

and it should then weigh two pounds, If
highly fed, the 10 cents covering the great
est abundance of food.
Ten months in the year is usually the
highest limit of time during which a hen
will lay.
Ten hens with one male is about the
proportion.
Ten quarts of corn or its equivalent
should feed a hen ten weeks, if she is of q
large breed, but ten quarts in three
months is a faircr proportion.
Ten pounds is a good weight for males
of the larger breeds, l year old.
Ten eggs is the average number to each
pound.
Ten flocks, each consisting of ten hens,
are enough for an acre.
Ten chicks, when just Matched, weigh
about one pound.
Ten hens should lay about 1000 eggs
during the year. This allows for some
laying more han 100 eggs each, while
others may not lay SO many.-Poultry
Kaannp
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
GL-EANINGS.

The usual odds laid by an accident COM
pany are 1000 to 4 that you do not die
from an accident in a year.
The Rev. Edward Everett Hale said in
a lecture in Boston that he found that nine
out of ten in a class Of girls in one of the
oity's public schools had never heard of
Noah's ark.
At Luchow, in Germany, 1870 fathers
have been fined l mark apiece for allowing
their children under 10 years of age to
dance at the harvest festival of a village
neal by. The village pastor objected to
the dancing and reported the case to the
police. 1t was discovered, however, that
his children had danced, too, and he was
fined with the rest.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
THRONE LIGHTS.

Queen Victoria selected the Jewish
"Chant of the Dead rs the opening vol
untary for the Duchess of Teck's funeral
service.
The empress of Austria takes her bath
every morning at 5 O'Clock, which is earli-
er and oftener han most women do who
are not expresses.
The Prince Of Wales has become perhaps
as good a shot as there is in Great Britain.
In q recent shooting at pheasants he killed
every bird he drew trigger on.
The king OF Greece, when conversing
with the members of his family, never en-
ploys any but the English language. He
seldom speaks French, and only uses Greek
when compelled to do SO.
Foreign gossips say that Queen Olga of
Greece has an anchor tatuooed ON her Shout
der as a token OF her affection for her ia
Their, the late Grand Duke Constantine of
Russia, ard that Princess Waldemar of
Denmark, wife of the sailor son of King
Christian, is also marked in like fashion,
with The addition of "a crown.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

"Harkins is a nice kind of an Amer
lean. Such people as he have no bust
ness to enjoy the privileges of a free
whats be been doing?"
HE said yesterday that in the event
of wal between the United States and
England he wouldn't be surprised if
John Bull gave us a pretty hard brush"
Leader.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
PLOTkE'S PLOT.

The football players of Chicago will be
apt to kick goal from the field, with Podgy
Plotke in the role of observation-disclosures
Constitution Democrat.
If Alderman Plotke of Chicago were q
member of the Georgia legislature, he
would lead the rush line ON antifootball
legislation Nashville Banner.
Chicago aldermen cannot be accused Of
being reformers, but one of them intro
duced an ordinance to prohibit football
playing.-New Orleans Picayune.
Probably the deadliest blow football
ever suffered was dealt by Plotke, n Chi
cago alderman. He called it ''feetball''
in an ordinance he framed.-Utica OBJ
server.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
SIMPLE SALVE.

Nervous people and those with weak
hearts must abstain from coffee.
For binding up cuts and wounds always
use linen, not cotton, as the fbers of cot
ton are fiat and apt to irritate a sore place,
while those of linen are perfectly rounded.
Brisk walking, with deep inspirations,
with the mouth closed, helps to sweep out
the products of waste, and also, by ex-
banding the chest, is an antidote to posi-
bic pneumonia.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
CURIOUS CULLINGS.

The long tails of the shah of Persia's
horses are dyed crimson for six inches at
their tips, a jealousy guarded privilege
of the ruler and his sons.
About 100 years ago starch was used
only for stiffening the frills around the
necks of the %ungodly. Religious people
called it the devils liquor and regard
cd its use as highly reprehensible.
In a recent lecture the German anthro-
pologist Andrian remarked that the Ma
moquas of South Africa behave the moon
Is made of bacon and that some savages
believe that waning of the moon is due to
o recurring disease.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
fms

cit" the idle wanderer heard the
man say to his companion, twill run
about 1900 to the ton"
Then the idle w~anderer, after the
manner of his kind, speculated in his
mind.
II wonder" said he to himself,
"whether he was talking about a gold
mine or his winter supply of coal?'-
Cincinnati Enquirer.