Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-01-25
- S.ssz5 2Ss: $3.50. TA7E 90 s}
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Sne boasts pretty, go1u-IiliuneU purse,
The envy of the host.
But shopping leads from bad to worse,
1t is an empty boast.
Washington Star.
She-You seem to forget yourself.
sir. He-How could l do otherwise in
your presence Judy.
Friend-I suppose everything you
most of it comes back-Hariem Life.
81 know now" remarked the young
man who was sued for breach of prom
Use, why they call it counting. It'd
Bits.
Edltor-Your story is fiat. Author
Yes? Editor wish to compliment
you. Most stories we get are rolled
up.--Puck.
"Uncle Simon, what is phenome-
non:" "A phenomenon is a man who
gets so rich that he won't accept pass
on railroad. Chicago Record.
Bubbles My wife and I met by
scc!dent. Thrown together by chance,
as It Wc1e. Wheelwoman eagerly
DID YOU break the bicycles ?--Buffalo
Times.
Il Jared pretty well on Christmas"
said the man with the blue coat. I'm
deed?" Eyes; you know I'm a street
car or.'-Philadelphia North
American.
Mrs. Newlywed Tin tears)-You used
to say that you would be glad to die
for me. Mr.. Newly wed-Well, would
now. Mrs. NeWlyWed-Wel you may
now.--Judge.
''Ill wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't stay under the water more
chan ten minutes at a time" "Why?"
Nobody down there to talk to."-Chi-
cago Record.
"Pugilism isn't what it used to be-"
No the advances made in implements
of modern warfare have thrown it into
the shade somewhat Philadelphia
North American.
Hungry Higgins-AH dis here hand
out lacks is finger-bowls. Weary Wat
kins-Yes, I t'ink l could git away wild
erbout t'ree-fnger bowl myself In
dianapolis Journal.
Reporter-Three men fell on live troll
ley wires to-day City Editor-Run 'em
in the current events column. Chorus
Of groans from the force)-Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.
She-Mr. Fullback never boasts of his
football exploits, does he? He-No, l
understand that he has nearly killed
half a dozen men, but he never says a
word about it.-Puck.
Called any today" "Only once,
and then l was left out in the cold.'
you don't mean it; where?" Down
at Bagsley's. He held four s."-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Alethea (blushingly)-Now, don't. Mr.
Dusnap! I know little Ferdinand is
watching at the key-hole. Dusnap-
Well let's crafty his curiosity, and
then he may go aWay.-Puck.
II am sorry to hear that Allwuhl the
clothing merchant, has failed in busi-
ness How did it happen?' over
confidence. He brought on a carload
of ear-muffs. Chicago Tribune.
Judge Ito couple sentenced for fight
ing)-Have you anything to say? Male
Defendant would like to have my
wife commence her term in prison after
1 am released.-German exchange.
She-Do you believe in long engage
ments? He-Well, / think an engage
ment should be long enough to test
mans constancy and to give the girl
time to learn to cook.-Brooklyn Life.
Helm waiting for the interesting
woman Of 30 that the novellsts talk
about. She-Well, you won't find her
in Vienna. All the women here under
60 are not over 22-Illustrated Bits.
.You know that old gag Of telling the
beggar that you are working this side
of the street" | tried it the other day"
did it work?' mo; he licked me for
getting on his beat!"-Chicago Record.
Cholly-It would be queer, doncher
know, if the Theosophists were right,
and if we came to life again in some
other form. She-Yes, Cholly; some
folks might expect better luck next
time.-Puck.
Mrs. Mulligan-Do yez feel better this
morning, Mrs. O'Toole? Mrs. OfToole-
I do, and then again I don't. Mrs.
Mulligan-Thot's bad, fur it's harrud
to know whether to say I'm sorry or
glad.-Harper's Bazaar.
''They must have had cyclone over
at Newriches' last week" What
makes you think so?" MIR. Newriches
said they had their monogram blown
into every piece of glass in the houses"
Detroit Free Press.
What kind of goods, ma'am" asked
the salesman II think" replied the
young womaR who had just bought
wheel and was about to order her first
riding suit, ''you may show me some of
your early fall styles. Chicago Trib-
une.
"Ah," asked the lady, 'this rouge
will not-er-rub OFF," "Oh, dear no,
mem I" said thn clerk. SIT is especially