Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-10-07


restrained smile, you know how to
manage women and could have given
him some valuable advice"
"Well, I've never been married, but
I've always known one thing" said the
dentist. "a man has got to assert his
independence in his own house. Ii he
lets his wife think that she can order
him around and treat him like school
boy he might as well give up all hope
OF having any liberty of his own. don't
say that man ought to be harsh with
woman, but he ought to give her to
understand that he can come and go
once in awhile without asking her per-
mission"
"That's right" said the "lush." II
this book agent friend of ours had gone
out and got drunk the night be married
the old girl and then came home ana
chased her around the house with u
Ratchet she'd have had some respect
for him. knew man once who chased
his wife with q Ratchet at least once
a month. lie loved her all right, and
wouldn't have harmed her for anything
in the world, but he claimed that he
had to make this Ratchet demonstration
at least once Il month in order to main
tain his rights. After every outbreak
she'd be pleasant and attentive for sew
eral weeks. Then her respect for his
rights would begin to weaken and he
would have to get out his Ratchet
again"
Seriously speaking, l don't believe
q woman has much regard for man
who allows himself to be tied to her
apron strings" said the dentist,
"Why, of course mott" exclaimed the
freckled boy, with an Indifferent ges-
ture, to show that he was an expert.
"I'll win out in ten minutes where one
of those easy, polite guys wouldn't
make II shown in an hour. You've
got to make % woman think that you're
the real stuff and know what she wants
better than she knows it herself"
"Gentlemen," began doc" Horne,
gazing critically at his cigar as he
rolled it between his thumb and sec
ond finger. Gentlemen, | went into
q store in Ohio one day and listened
for am hour while three men discussed
the fine points of navigation. They
had beautiful themes as to the handling
of vessels and some new ideas in ship
building. I learned afterward that not
one of the three had ever been within
500 miles of salt water, or had ever
seen a boat more than 20 feet long Your
learned opinions regarding matrimony
and the management Of wives reminds
me of that talk on navigation"
"That is what is called an upper-cut,"
said the "lush,"
"Doc, don't see any medals on you
for getting married." remarked the
frecklcd boy, with wink at the dem
fist.
"And you have not heard me telling
Of the rights and privileges of hus-
band, either" said "Doc," turning on
the frecltled boy and speaking with
unusual earncstness. "Why, gentle
men, it amuses me to hear you young
gentlemen sit here and talk about wom-
en- ana matrimony as if you had studied
them for years. Don't you know that
woman has been the puzzle of all ages
because there were never two women
alike? How can you pass Judgment
on a husband when you know nothing
of the conditions surrounding n mar
red man? It's very easy to sit here
and tell what you would do or you
would not do if you were husband.
You seem to forget that millions of
young men have talked in the same
manner, only to learn later that the
cries count for little when applied to
actual experience. Some of you may
learn, some day, that the wise hus-
band simply gets along with as little
friction as possible, preferring com
promise to open battles. You have
spoken, half seriously, of the propriety
of a husband tanning and managing q
wife as he would domestic animal
Don't you know it is the brutal husband
rather than the complaining wife, who
makes married life a hell in so many
houses? Furthermore, you young mer
who are accustomed to the sliylarlling
and irregular life of a hotel seem &c
think it is unreasonable that woman
should attempt to interfere with a hus
bands going or coming, or complain
il he arrives home at all hours of the
night. Here you sit and consider the
case of married man from the stand
point of bachelor. You're like Sc
many raw colts not yet broken to ride
and drive. You can tell how you vii
kick up and smash things if Shey eve
saddle or bride you and dare to toucl
you with the whip, but all of you will
become good old family nags in tim
if the right trainers get hold of you"
"Where can get copy of the lee
ture, Doc asked the freckled boy
"And what you need" continue,
"Doc," sis large woman with mine
of her own, who will keep you at worl
six days week and collect your pa.
nSaturday. I'd like to meet you, youn!
man, about two years after your MIA
riage and find out if there has bee
any change in YOUR views" -Chicag