The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-02-24
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Wnat 90 you mean Dy DelnS en-
gagged TO three men at once?" "Noth-
ing. yale Record.
She-"Doesn'the he make fine clergy
man" He--"He's great l counted
five men asleep. Puck.
Jones-"The play is said to be an
artistic success. Smith-"Are they
losing much money on it?"-Truth.
London Natlve-"That is quite
high building" Foreigner-"Yes,
indeed that's a regular fog-scraper."
Puck.
Bobby-"Pop, what does Fremont
tion mean?" Fond Parent-"Premoni-
tion, Bobby, means Il told you SO = "
Puck.
You can buy wearing apparel for
song nowadays, but, unfortunately, a
great many people cant sing. Dos
ton Budget.
Mamma-"Mrs. Brown says her lit
tie boy looks very much like ours. d"
Papa-"Then ours must be better
looking. Puck.
"Let's see," remarked the youth and
the damsel; and then they turned
down the gas till nobody else could see
a thing. .-Detroit Tribune.
Sputter -"Do you suppose it's such
very bad thing to be sarcastic?"
Cutter-"Not nearly as bad as to think
you are and not be SO. Truth.
The young man who is anxious to
lay the world Mt the feet of the girl he
adores, three months after he marries
her isn't willing even to lay the car
pet.
''Are you angry, Miss Spitely?"
"I'm enraged. I'm going to make
that mans life miserable if | have
to marry him to do it. Detroit Free
Press.
'The good die young, you know,
snid Bilger to Sadboy, the pessimist.
"Yes,S said Sadboy, "that's because
it's the only time people are good. -
Roxbury Gazette.
The Countess s-'Do show me the
coronet !" The Earl-''My dear, I'll
show you the ticket for the coronet.
1t was hypothecated to pay for the
engagement ring, PUCK.
Paterfamilins walking the floor
with son and heir Babies, they say,
are such helpless things! But what
do they think OF me? Talk about
heIplessness Boston Transcript.
"Do you mean to say, Chumley,
that YOU spend less money since you
were married than you did before2 2"
That's what it amounts to. l have
much less to spend. Detroit Free
Press.
"You think Briggs is crazy because
he stole SO? l should say that such.
an act would make a criminal rather
than n lunatic of him" "But he had
chance to take $780," "Oh l"-
Cleveland Leader.
"George, this paper says there's
sermon in every blade of grass. "
"That so?" Well, you don't get ne
to go to church any morel I'll bet
ten dollars that's where l got this
blamed old hay-lever. Puck.
Mr.. Cumso-"This is n very bad re-
port to bring me from school,
Tommy" TOMMY know, papa;
but you said if ia bring You good
report you'd give me quarter, and
l wanted to save you money. De
troit Free Press.
"Well," said the sarcastic man at
the theatre, "Im ever so much obliged
TO that girl who sits in front of me
the one with the frightfully big hat.
81 don't see what you're obliged to
her for. " "For not raising her para
SOL Washington Star.
Miss De Laino-"You seem to be
very fond OF your friend, Miss Hair.
You never tire of kissing her" Miss
De Silk-"Well, 90 not care much
for her personality; but did you
notice what sweet little mustache
she has?"-New York Weekly.
She-"Isn't it wonderful to think
of the achievements of science? So
many things have been brought with
in the reach OF the masses" He
eyes, indeed Some years ago golden
hair was the boast of favored few;
now, anybody can have it that wants
II. Puck.