Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-12-30
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iuius - StttluS out duOtuer novel.
Historical Or Observation-Disclosures
oils Journal.
Military OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
"GOod evening, Miss. You look like a
regiment Of rosebuds to-night."-Flie-
gende Batter.
They say all the necessaries Of life
are very dear In the Klondike." "Not
II all. Ice is so cheap they can't give
II away."-Puck.
Photographer-"Now, try to look like
yourself" (Noting the effect)-''Well-
er, Inn; try to look Ike somebody
else. Harlem Life.
Johnny-"Papa, what Is q factionY
Papa-"It is term used to describe
that section Of the party to which you
do not belong."-Puck.
Friend-''This seems to be a comfort
able fat" Harlemite-"It does. 1t
makes that impression on everybody
who doesn't live in it."-Puck.
Elderly Coquette (sentimentally)-
"Yes, my dear Mr.. Assessor, love Is
eternal" Assessor frightened)-"So
Acknowledgements Batter.
Experience" said Uncle Eben, 'is
er good teacher; but education is li'ble
ter be wasted on er man dat dom pen
on muffin else. "-Washington Star.
Executive-."I would appoint your
man, but he's too ignorant for the po-
lice force" Heeler-"Den put him on
hn col hoo ,I II
'Does my whistling disturb youY"
ooh, not in the least. I'm used to hear
ing men whistle. I'm collector for a
millinery house"-Yonkers Statesman.
A Long Head.-"Why does that hard
drinking Beasley wear his hat all the
time" For fear he can't get 1t on IL
ne takes it off."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mistress-"Bridget, are there any let
ters for me this morning" Bridget
only two postal cards, but there's
nothing of Importance in them."-Flie-
geDde Batter.
A Dilemma.-"Well, George, dear,
what do you think Of my new hatw
Il wish l knew" Knew whaty
''What l am expected to think.
land Plain Dealer.
How 1t May Be.-S"People are not
alike, and what suits one may not
please another" II guess that's right.
What Is one mans bicycle is another
mans juggernaut."-Pu
II hear" said the zephyr, "that you
have been raging through the north
west" Never was a worse mistake"
hOwled the blizzard II was quite
cool. indianapolis Journal.
He docking out at the window)-"It's
so bright and cheerful within and so
cold and gloomy without" She
without what?" He-"Why, without
you, dearest. Chicago News.
Marriage" said the Sentimental
Girl, sis lottery" But the trouble
is" said the Pessimistic Bachelor,
that the man takes most Of the
chances. "-Indianapolis Journal.
How He Filled in His Time.-Magis-
trate-"What do you do during the
week. Tramp Nothing" Magis-
lTdtc- Auu Oh SuHudy tramp
'"rhen l take day off."-Tit-B
Observation-Disclosures, wake up quick!
The house Is on fire. You save the
babyw Wife-"Oh, my wheel, my
wheelv' Husband-"Come on, I car
ried that out first"-Rochester Herald.
First Mother-"Don't you find it
great relief to have the children in
school again. Second Mother-"Well,
1t would be IL they didn't learn SO
many new questions to ask."-Tit- Bits.
Jean-"Why do you never speak to
Mr.. Outre? He Is uncouth, but / feel
sure he is n diamond in the rough"
Katherine-"So do l. That's why I'm
cutting him."-Cincinnati Commercial.
Good Friend.-'I have reason to sus-
pect that your husband Is flirting with
other women. You ought to follow him
wherever he goes" "Great heavens!
My husband is postman.
Batter.
The Wise Proprietor.-Guest lin
cheap restaurant)-"Here, waiter! this
meal Is simply vile. ! won't pay for 1t.
Where's the PROPRIETOR Waiter
Hes out at lunch, ir."-Philadelphia
Record.
Kate-"He seems extremely devoted.
He talks Of going to the Klondike for
my sake" Beatrice-"Well, that would
give you two chances. He might come
back with a fortune or he might not
come back at all."-Puck.
Cruel.-Naomi-"Hes a mean, insult
ing thing" Stella-"Why% Naomi
II told him didn't know whether to
go to the opera or the play, and he said
1 was old enough to choose for myself"
Philadelphia American.
Mr.. Wiggles-"The true facts of the
case were that" Mrs. Wiggles lin
terrupting)-"Joshua did you ever
know any facts that weren't truey"
And she never heard the rest of that
story.-Somerville Journal.
How He Loved Them.--Mrs. Merry
IL never saw a boy so fond of pets as
Bobby is" Mrs. Wallace-"Really ?.
Mrs. Merry-"Yes; he's worn out n
kitten and two pups In the last two
months. Golden Days.
''Majah, did yo' read of thelh dis
covu'in the bones of mastodon down
in the old State t'othah day?' II did.
Cunnel, 1 did, thank yo'. What bobby
cues they must have had in those DAYS.
Enouiror