The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-09-01
EASY FOR CHININIIE.
HOW A SMART NETWORK YOUNGsTER
GOT THE JOB.

An Office Boy Who Didn't Smoke Ciga-
rettes Was Wanted, and Every App1i-
cant's Fingers Were Closely Examined.
But the Man of Affairs Was Outwitted.
A prosperous man of affairs who has
his offices in down town skyscraping
structure entered the building the 9TH
er day with a disturbed look on his
face Although q man with full conf
dence i'll himself and one whose judg-
ment was considered second to 10 one
elso's i'll the street, he was extremely
doubtful Of the result of tho task before
him. He was in trouble because his
Office boy had left him and he was
forced to engage another. The boy who
had gone had been pretty good one as
boys 90. He had bossed tho boss and
run the office for about year and was
all right when he had his own way,
but ono unfortunate afternoon he told
the boss that no wanted to get off, as
his brother in law had died and he de-
sired to go to tho funeral.
II want to 90 to tho ball game my
self, said the "old man." chuckling,
as he recalled how many times that old
funeral excuse had been sprung OH him
by office boys $50 guess, James, you
will have to mind shop today
james didn't appear at tho Office next
morning, but an irate woman who said
she was his mother did, and she sound
ly bcrated tho employer for his inhu-
manity i'll keeping james away from his
brother i'll laws funeral.
Tho boss tried to explain matters by
saying that no thought James only
wanted an excuse to go to the ball gamo
and that he did not know there had
been death in the family, but it was
no good. The whole family branded the
old man as n brute of the deepest dye,
and james did not return to his duties.
In consequence of this tho employer
inserted an advertisement in ono of tho
newspapers for an Office boy, and he had
got down to tho Office half an hour
earlier than usual to receive the appli-
cants for the place.
There was long limo of them in the
hallway III front of his office, and no
heard much criticism, some favorable
and somo otherwise OH his general ap-
pearanco as he pushed his way through
the throng. He called the boys into his
Office one by one ajld Subjected each of
them to Il searching examination as to
his experience, fitness, etc. He invaria-
bly, finished up with the question, 'fDo
you smoke cgarettes?" The boys as i'll
variably declared that they did not
Never smoked one O. ther dope
sticks i'll me life, !" declared the first boy
called into tho office.
Didn't, eh?"wgplicd the cold man. )"
Let me see your fingers" The young
ster's fingers wcre stained deep dirty
yellow color, and no was told he was
not wanted.
OATS not cigarute stain, dat ain t, ;"
insisted the second boy called into tho
Office. OATS paint off mo fader's
house,
Tho excuse wouldn't work, however,
and he was ushered out, as were several
moro young aspirants for office honors.
Finally bright eyed, rcdhcaded
youngster entered the Office and answer
ed all tho questions propounded to him
i'll satisfactory way.
Now, my boy" came the final test,
tell me truthfully, do you smoke Gig
arettcs?"
what's them? Those little paper CT
gars?'' answered the youth.
Yes, exactly"
"Nopo. Never drew one uf them in
ter me lungs iii mo life," continued the
boy.
Let me see your hands"
Tho boy poked out a chubby fist at
him. The man examined it critically,
but failed to detect the slightest evil
dence of tobacco stain.
You're engaged" he finally said.
Bully fer you'll" replied the youth.
So long. I'll be ter work in de morn
ing" He then went out, whistling
There's Only One Girl In tho World
For Me-" and joined his anxious com
rades in tho hallway.
Youse fellers can all go home,' he
saiG.
WHAT'S yer given us? Did yer get
der job?" piped half a dozen voices.
Bet yer life, f" replied the urchin.
There was d loud murmur of surprise
from the crowd, and finally one of the
youngsters exclaimed:
How'd yer do it, Chimmyp Do old
man said dat he didn't want no dope
SUCK smokers, an yer knows yer was de
wursest dope fiend i'll der push
oh, youse fellers was so slow dat
yer make me tired" replied Chimmio
III disguised tone Of voice Course l
MT de dope sticks, but dye think I
wusn't cute 'nough ter keep it from dc
ole man?"
Guess yer had pull or yer couldn't
nave fooled his joblots," said ono of
the youngsters
Easiest ting in dc world" answer