The Seattle post-intelligencer. [volume] (Seattle, Wash. Terr. [Wash.]) 1888-1914, 1897-05-30
For the lands sake-'

For the lands sake.
How in the name Of sense did he git
thar
who In Prince Charlie. anyhow. and
where In the world or out of il IL the
burned country he spreads himself over"
May be there are incretulous persons
who will smile at the idea OF such queries
being pat in land Of common schools
and an age Of intelligence. but am Will
ing 10 wager half OF all the wealth at
this moment in my pocket-whIch may
as well tell you. confidentiaiiy. consists
OF .>txa hamfse.s' and a crooked sixpence
that they viii be asked more than once
and will or would be answered in as many
different ways as they are asked
Now. il good old. !nquisitive Mrs.
Know t-ali-betore-hand will keep cool and
restrain her Impotence, / viii try to an
swer but only one at q time. all the Ques-
tons she has a mind to ask as fast as my
pen will get around TO It, for You must
not forget that We are at present out OF
reach OF such modern facilities rs type
writer's telephones and cyclones
First of all. allow me to premise that
the writer like many of the forefatEers
OF our rahid immigration restrictors. was
something else before he became an
American. In fact, he was born in
prince Charles land" and got a good
share of what little education he has In
the remote western highlands OF the same
land and further he must admit that If
ne had been allowed TO exercise any choice
as TO where the accident of birth should
oyertake him he would probably have
chosen the United States first, SO AZ TO
utilize his chance Of becoming president:
but next TO that he would certainly have
chosen this Land of Prince Charlie" In
preference to any other section Of this
terrestrial ball. Fancy the degraded
mental moral or spiritual condition OF a
man who would wilifully essoose to be born
in China or Chicago or Turkey or Tacoma.
Well. Prince Charles Land" is Scot
iand--only this and nothing more. Some
Of its other ancient or modern aliases are
Caledonia" meaning People OF the
Woods" Ultima Thule" equivalent to
the American jumping OF place" THE
Land o. Cakes" and well so called. for
although that angel food known to US in
America as "buckwheat cakes and maple
syrup" Is little known and less understood
over here. l think that any one who has
been lucky enough to partake OF wheat
'-scones' or barley "bannocks." with
plenty of absolutely fresh butter. all
edited by a Scottish matron at Scottish
farm house. win agree with me that they
have approached as near to a feast OF the
immortal gods as il Is possible for mere
mortals TO do outside Of the United States.
But IL the phrase Land o. Cakes is in
tended TO attract attention to oatmeal
''bannocks,' l muat dissent-the latter
taste well. look well and smell well. but
they will give any ordinary Christian who
is not used to them more dyspepsia In ten
minutes than he can get over In year.
But goodness-eyery man who has been
able to jingle rhyme sufficiently TO think
himself poet has exerted himself to coin
a new name to designate poor old Scotia
BY, and must own that even the writer
chased his thoughts all over the universe
of letters during several sleepness nights
before lucky chance led him to the title
of this letter. and he II not sure that In
using even this he may not be plagiariz-
ing somebody else's copyright-the mere
incidental fact Of this not being prince
Charles land" at all counting for little
in the heat Of poetic license. It would be
much truer to fact to call 1t Queen Mary's
land but Queen Mary was only poor
princess who lost her head, and Prince
Charlie was young pretender who was
so handsome, so brave so unfortunate.
that no matter IL he did deceive and
slaughter several hundred infatuated fools
In an insane desire to gain kingdom TO
which he had no more right than the
reader OF these lines-he succeeded In
gaining the sympathy of the female sex
for all time. and what is man that he
should dare gainsay feminine verdict?
q
life was In very truth hard one. He does
not seem TO have been bad boy in his own
right but still he had TO follow the same
trail of misfortune his ancestors. for
the house OF Stuart was proverbially un-
lucky. What harm in recalling the story
70 those to whom 1t is forgotten. or opsn-
ing UP an interesting page OF historical TO
nance and tragedy TO others?
Mary, Queen of Scots, had, inter ALA,
two insurmountabIe misfortunes to bear
she was very handsome and she was cousin
to Elizabeth. queen of England. Either OF
these shortcomings the coquettiSh Bessie
might have overlooked. but both OF them
together were more than her own plain
looks and jealousy could tolerate, % she
exercised the dueeniy prerogative OF chop
ping that lovely head from of Its pretty
shoulders. and thus peremptorfiy ter
minated the relationship. A more cold
biooded murder has never stained the page
Of history. RumOr says that Lizzie re-
pented OF 1t before she died. l hope she
did. and hope that she has kept on re-
penting of II for the past 300 years. and
hope she will keep on repenting OF II for
the lengthy but indefnabie period OF her
residence IN that torrid region which must,
II all we read and hear Is true. be so much
freouented by post-mortem royalties. This
good. virtuous spfnster. Queen Betsy, died
without leaving any legally recognized
heirs as OF course any good. virtuous old
maid queen might be expected to do. II
sire really did make any missteps the mil
nisi bonum." or maybe the divinity which
doth cor was supposed tor hedge a king
land Queen) have most efectualiy hid them
from a nrying world aud as an apparent
rstrihuiion of providence, Mays grand
son Charles l.. assembled in due time the
throne Of Elizabeth. But the misfortunes
Of his family followed him and with blind
Ell eyes he sought TO crush out the feeble
spark OF freedom which some kind Prone
theus had dropped on our benighted world.
We can only stay 10 remark two OF the
rvosatae events of his reign which are of
interest ~ US as Americans First. Charles
the First was the means of driving by his
persecution the Pilgrim Fathers in the
Mayhower to Massachusetts, Second-Osi-
Yer Cromwell. with his fronsides, rescued
and resuSeitatef the Pickering flame of
liberty OF conscience ard gave TO England
and the world the opportunity 10 use il
Alright by the cosgnopasriotie act of doing
for Charles what Queen Esitzab beth had
isne fer his observation-disclosures his
head into The waste basket. Yes, indeed
! Charles l.. the world Will long remember
your parting admonitton. bat with IL they
VIII also remember" 10 bless the memory
81 ghe brave men who brought a blockhead
70 the block.
But after a time James II. sthe second
son Of Charles l.. and brother TO an in
rergne.ssate Charles I'D came 20 England Z
throne He also suffered from the fatal
hereditary predIspos;lcn 10 monkey
with matters religious and getting
the IL Il" from the throne
a. Crea; Britain oriy narrowly
ssss-zvsAfs the axe ard the block