Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1897-06-03
SOME CAPITAL STORIES.
Kansas Congressman Tells Tale
Out of School
How q Georgia Statesman Settled =
Religious ContrOversy-A Mime
sofa Mama Impression OF the
President.
Especial washington Letser.l


Just completed his first and last term as
a member of the national house OF rep
resentatives. One term was enough
for him, and he declined a renomina
ton. He says: At am going back to
the land of sunf1owers, prohibition and
patriotism. There is no more whole
some climate between the Atlantic and
Pacific, and yet Kansas has its share of
diseases. Here in my pocketbook have
clipping which shows how many all
ments one man may have in Kansas,
and yet live. This slip shows how suf-
fering commercial traveller filed out
tickets at drug store, aud the medf-
cine that he took to cure him in each
case:
John Smith, one-half pint whisky, dys-
pepsia-
John Smith. one quart beer. indigestion
John Smith. one-half pint whisky. brain
trouble.
John Smith. one quart beer. malaria.
John Smith, oneSQuart beer, consumption
John Smith, one-half pint whisky, apo
plexy-
John Smith. one quart beer. cancer.
John Smith. one quart beer. heart dis
John Smith. one pint whisky. delirium
tremens.
John Smith. one quart beer. sore throat
John Smith. one quart beer, paralysis.
John Smith, one quart beer, liver COM
plant.
John Smith. one quart beer. pains In
back.
John Smith, one quart beer. chilblains.
John Smith. one quart beer, hives
John Smith, one quart beer, insanity
Ex-Congressman Gambler, of Georgia,
who was born and reared in the noun
tains of that state, tells the following
good story, and is willing TO wager
an entire railroad which he owns that
it is true: During the war, and for sew
eral years afterward, the southern
darby could talk about little else than
Emancipation" and religion. a Meth
odist darby and Baptist darby would
get together on the shady side of house
or tree and argue for hours. An old
planter who lived on the banks of the
Chattahoochie river owned a number
of negroes, and one cold day when they
were log-rolling and clearing up piece
of ground they began to discuss reli-
| gion. The planter became tired of the
discussion. He polled the men as to
| their religious beliefs and found II
| Baptists and Methodists.
Now" he said, ST am sick and tired
| of this eternal arguing, and as the Bap-
| lists are In the majority the rest OF
you must go down into the water" and
he ordered them into the river. They
unwillingly filed into the river up tc
| their necks, and as they stood wish
chattering teeth the old man would vel
| out:
Are you Methodist or Baptist?"
The freezing water soon brought the
| Methodists to the Baptist belief, and
as the last convert walked on shore the
planter remarked that he hoped il
would be n long time before it would
be necessary for him to have another
| baptizing, and it was.
There are many lobbyists in Washing
ton, and the frauds and shams in THEN
number are not few. Exposure one year
does not affect them the next year. fol
| they go on playing their same ole
| games, with new victims. In prepar
ing the confederate war records, Col
Bob Scott used to call upon ex-confed
crate officers for information concern
| ing points of history which seemed OBJ
scure; and hence many ex-confederate<
visited his office from time to time and
at his request recorded their names
present residence and rank. in a regis
ter kept for that purpose One day
an individual who had posed in and
about society circles at Washington as
an ex-confederate colonel. and on state