The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-03-07
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THE SURVIVAL OF THE FITTEST

From the San Francisco Argonaut.
Jim threw another log on the campfire,
and the blazing circle of light grew to its
old dimensions. We could see the stars
lodging back and forth behind the tops
of the pines and the lone coyote who had
a monopoly of noises down the gulch was
INDUCING us with temporary rest The
patriarch who occupied the seat of honor,
a camp STOOL and the rest of us were
ranged on tree trunk.
The patriarch looked at me. I'll do you
the favor" he said. "of filling my pipe
with your tobakky. Speakin' of sea
yarns, that story of Jlms about the ice
bergs that hunted in pairs, keepin
keen lookout to squeeze a ship caught
without a breeze. while the polar bears
sat by and laughed, was torbly good,
and the one you told about the thing
that could stand on it's head on the floor
of the ocean and flap the face of heaven
with its tail, was purity fair, yes, purity
fair. But they war just yarns, plain
yarns, neatly unraveled. And that makes
me think OF what old Absalom Biggs used
to say: Always tell the truth, my lad,
If you're a master smart hand at It.
"Absalom had distant relaJive-he liv-
ed in Nantucket, and his brother was an
chored in Jamaiky--who bought and sold
everything, from queer shells to queer
money. His brother was a smart man,
nigh as smart as Absalom himself, and
he might have lived to be a great one
IL they had given him plenty Of rope. AS
It was, he war leetle too hlgh-strung to
make q success OF life. It's queer how
the TURNER'S acquire all of our improve
ments, even the art Of lynchin'.
.Absalom was master and sole proprie-
tor Of the good old tradin' brig, Keep
Mum. They war two of kind, Absalom'
and the brig Absalom wore suit of
homespun that hung on him like sail
wrapped around a windmill and the brig
was an right IL she was only as black as
she was painted, for she needed sprucin
up badly, but they war both hard 20 beat
in their deceptive lines, / reckon The
Keen Mum was one of the best OF her
kind that ever faded out of sight of rev.
enue cutter, and Absalom was entitled to
a patent right on lots Of tricks of his
trade He was a quiet kind of man, re-
sultin' from hard study OF circus posters
when he was a lad, and the Keep Mum
sailed so Silly the wind couldn't wistle
through her riggin' even.
Now, Absalom was a temperance man
from principle and interest, though he
wasn't particularly religious and wor-
SHIPPED nothin', so far as l know, except
gavin's banks. Never taste the intoxi-
catin' cup, young man. he used to say;
you might miss chance to make doll
lar But just the same, after his brother
came aboard at the end of my first trip
10 Kingston, bringin'' with him a mystic
rious air 0xlnd OF strongly scentedD, Absa-
lom loaded the Keep Mum up with rum.
And such rum In barrels, with rusted
hoops and cobwebs clingin round EN-,
they hoisted Il on board. The pirates
that hid Il a century before stored nothin'
weak. and every year ADDED 70 lts
strength. Our second mate, who was
man OF much liquid experience ashore as
well as at sea, took a cargo of one cup.
II was lust three days before he could
navigate. and-would you believe itl-for
80 weeks after that whenever he dream
cd of that rum at night he'd wake up in
the mornin' tipsy.
"Absalom was a man who glanced over
newspapers from curiosity and read trade
journals for profit So j knew somethin'
extremely uncommon was up when he
epent a whole forenoon porin' over news
paper with his elbows on the table and
his fingers clutched In his hair; and when
| heard him chuckle, / was interested. Abb
SALON. Biggs never wa ted a chuckle. I
heard him say. as he went out Of the ca
bin: They're strong IN the body, but weak
In the head
"Of course, 7 picked up the paper. It
told a story of an awful tribe OF canny-
balls who resided on the west coast OF Afrl-
Ky. II seemed they war a tribe of reg'l lar
bunko-steerers, for all the missionaries
who went there were invariably taken in.
Then the queen Of England sent down
gunboat. and the captain OF the gunboat
Sent a man with white flag and a pro-
clamation in violent language TO these can
nybals. But there was some mlsunder-
standing about the matter, for the canny-
balls ate-both the gallant tar and the pro-
clamation. II hurt the captains feelins
very much. so he landed most Of his force
and went after the heather. Alas he didn't