Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-06-24
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"Our cook Is crazy about bicycling"
Does she ride much?" Ride! She
gets on her wheel to hang out the wash
ing."-Detroit Free Press.
"You are destined to marry nches,"
the seeress said, but" But whatT
death win claim you two years be-
fore the event."-Town Topics. ~
Shockitt-Does learning the bicycle
require any particular application3
Sprockitt-No; none in particular. Ar
MICA Is about as good as anything
Puck.
Willie--I told her my love was 30
great that my brain was ON IRE.
Charlie-What did she say to that?
Willie-Toad me l had better blow 1t
Out.-Yale Record.
A prim(eve)al joke: Eva-Did You
eat that apple, Adam? Adam-Pm sor-
ry to say that did. Eve-And was
going to make pie with 1t! Adam
Then I'm glad ate 1t.
Miss Thirtysmith (severely)--A man
should never call ON girl after drink
ing. Jack Swift cheerfully)-That's a
fact. Many man has become engaged
In just that way!-Puck.
Freshly Professor, is it ever possd-
BILE to take the greater from the less?
Prof. Potterby--There Is a pretty close
approach to it when the conceit is taken
out Of a observation-disclosures Jour-
nal
She-I have been shut up In boarding
school so long that / feel very awk-
ward and timid in company. do not
know what to do with my hands. He
I'll hold them for you.-Boston Trav-
eler.
Fuddy-So Widow Gray was at the
social last evening. 1t beats all. What
Is she after-a husband? Duddy-On
the contrary, think she is after a man
who Is not a husband Boston Trans
cript.
He-If you couldn't be yourself, who
would you rather be? She-The man
who marks down goods in the dry goods
store. What n lovely life he must lead,
always having first choice!-Cleveland
Leader
Quericus-"How did he come to win
that girl, who was always so Indifferent
to him? Cynicus-He told her he had
Joined a bachelors club, and that made
her determined to have him-New
York Journal.
"Tm going to be a cortortionist when
| grow up" said little Johnny, proud
ly; ''Pm In training now, so / want you
to tell me what is the best thing for me-
to eat" Green apples, my boy"
chuckled the old man.-Demorest's
Magazine.
The Parson-Your 'neighbor looks
like very persistenvnTan He doesn't
look as IL he would give up anything.
The Deacon-Well, I've been passin'
the plate for hard on ten years, and
never see him give UP nnsthihg yet
Yonkers Statesman.
"This new SOAP" said the barber,
sis very nice. 1t is made largely Of
cream, with just a dash of alcohol In
it." well, remember I'm a temper
| ance man." retorted Dobbers, "aAd
don't put any more of it in my mouth
than you can help."-Harlem Life.
"Well. you've been married for about
six months now, haven't you? Do you
| think as much of your wife as ever?'
More than ever, my boy, more than
| ever. She has not once suggested that
it would be good idea for her to carry
the book."-Cleveland Leader.
| II don't understand why you dislike
Herbert so," said Mabel to her father.
II don't think he has any ideas OF
finance" Il am sure you wrong him.
He Is devoted to it. He stopped right
in the middle Of his proposal to ask
how your business was getting along"
Washington Star.
Dismal Davis-Say, boss, does yer be-
lieve in de sayin' dat money talks 2
Uncle Reuben-Yes; what of it? Dis
NAL Davis-Yer see, gets so lonesome
walkin' around wild meself dat if yer
could give me dime fer company, it'd
make me feel better.-New York Tri-
bune.
Something whizzed by-a minglement
of steel spokes and red boomers.
"What is that therey' asked Uncle
Hiram, withdrawing his gaze from the
high building to look after the vision.
THAT Is the new woman" answered
his nephew. '"The new woman? Looks
like the old boy."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
II do think dog has good deal of
intelligence" said the man with the
spaniel, "but l am not as bad as
Browne. He actually had the gall to
tell me that he was thinking of study.
ing German so that he could talk to his
wife without the dog understanding
every word he said"-Typographical
Journal.
Pm glad to hear that Tom and Alice
have settled their difference. A mere
lovers quarrel, 1 supposed" well.
hardly as trivial as that; but she final
" admitted the possibility that in the
matter Of mems wheels the unquestion-
ed superiority Of the make she rides
might be less emphatic than in the
drop-frame machines. detroit News.
At once owned some real estate" said
the man whose manner showed that he
is easily imposed upon; ut was a small
house and a large lot" did you have
good tenants?" "Well-they were mics
people In some ways" did they pay
promptly" mo, they never liked to
be bothered about money. But they
| mead m tell me to come around ana