The times., 1897-08-29
THE BOWSER TROUBLES.
That seashore Hog Appears for the
Last Time

IDWSer SdJ at tnelr door ana watched the
setting sun gid the blre waves Of tie At
iantie- The gliding process hadn't been
going on very long, however. when some
thing occurred to shatter the romance.
The lone hog, spoken OF in former articles
as playing an active part In the Bowsers'
adventures, suddenly appeared after
twenty-four hours absence. He made his
way up ffpIa the beach and came to j halt
! about twenty feet from the house to take
| cool, calm survey. MI Bowser had been
On edgef for two hoHIs, and Mrs. Bowser had
been pursuing aIIkfnds Of tactics to prevent
an outbreak. When she saw that hog she
gave up aIIhope, folded her hands on herIap,
| and resigned herself to tie inevitable.
'.By the great horn spoon, but there
is that hog again. growled Mr. Bowser.
in tones that threatened danger
Yes, see him." placidIy replied Mrs
Bowser, as she turned back to the sun.
| set.
''Durn his eyes, but where has he been
and what did lie come back fort We came
down here TO the seashore to take comfort,
and the first thing TO greet US is a squint-
! eyed, slab-sidcd, knock-kneed old hog I've
felt lutte sympathy for him up 70 this time.
but now L IL be hanged il don't make him
| wish he d never been bornr'
IF feed him he'll probably go away"
said Mrs Bowser
| lit attend to the feeding process my
| self. IN feed MIN with this board and
/ if don't knock his blamed head into ths
milGe of next week then I'm a goatl
| Get out OF the way while 1 show this hog
| tnat ne has reached the dead line at last"
| Mrs BOwser entered the house, and Mr.
/ Bowser picked up the board and hraveiy
! advanced upon tie porker. The setting
sun still Continued 10 triple plate several
square miles Of the rolling deep, but he
/ WASH looking for the Lea utiful sun then.
/ The hog held his head on one side, and
cooked an eye at Mr.. Bowser. He realized
that u mortal combat was on hand, and he
twisted his tail and champed bis teeth Ia
defiance. Mr.. Bowser drew softly nearer
and nearer, with the board held above his
head to strike, and OF a sudden he jumpeI
in with the exclamation:
Take that, VIII you-and that-and
| here's another, and
Then il was the hogs turn. With a
cTunt and a squeaI he dashed forward auL
| for theneXt sixty seconds Mrs Bowser held
her hand upon her beating heart an d peered
| through the flying sand ia a vain enGeavor
to make out who was on top. Mr.. Bowser
! viii never have a clear recollection Of that
struggle He diunIy remembers that he sud-
denly lost his footing on this terrestrial
globe that he went down in heap-was
rolled over and over-suddenly found hiul-
self inside the door, wi IN Mrs Bowss.r ask
ing If he was fatally injured She was dig
ginS the sand out from behind his collar
and the wire grass out of his hair when
he SAT down into chair and gasped OUT:
Issaid Id xiii MIN, and ! did, and
hope lie feels better! What's that?"
Its the hog He's waiting for you to
come out 50 he can have some more fun
, with you
And 1 didn't slaughter him?"
Mo-
And was I upset and rolled over and
walked on by that SIab-sided hoge''
That's what happened, Mr.. BowSer, and
I think you've had 4 narrow escape from
Gea,h. Youdon 'tseem 70 exactly und erstand
how to hit a hog with club. Don't you
think you could hire some one to shoot him
or MAKE him prisoner?''
Never not il / lose my life a thou
sand times Overt shouted Mr. Bowser.
Il see what the trouble Is You have
sympathiz5d with that Internal hog from
the start, and he knows it, When he was
enough TO XIII,
why, Mr. kOwSer.''
Don't why. Mr. Bowser,' me. because
, it won't woySi In order 20 spite your
husband you sympathize with a hog and
: encourage him TO eoId-blOoded murder.
: Hire some one to shoot hint Never! Ia
about two minutes III go out there and
wipe him Oft the face of the eartht'
/ HOVrSpr tried fo rhf-eru
over, but it was no use. A After waiting
to get his breath Mr.. Bowser tghtened
his belt two holes and suddenly spTane
out and seized the board he had used
for d weapon. He got in two or three
COOL Hicks" before the hog was fuHj
aware that another struggle to the deatt
+, vas impending, and tie animal beeams
< panic-Stucken and fled. Then the setting
I sun had some more gliding business OF
\ l1nd. In addition to gliding the AuantI
Ocean. it was called upon TO burHish VI
a hog and man as they gaIIoped up AM
down the sands and made circles arOunt
the house
The ncg fully realized that he had
awakened a desperate man in Mr. Bowser
and Mr. Bowser was fully determined tha
death alone could compensate HIM for thi
mdigniries he had undergone. With a ula;
thirst for vengeance h pursued at the 70
of his speed, and at intervals a reSOundiu
whack and d squesl proved that he va
getting in his work. By and by the fugitiv
hog made off up the beach. but tina
Nemesis followed ever at his heels thrOug
the cleaning. Pursued and purs uer fade
out OF Hrs. Bowser's sight, and bg and b
she could no longer hear the whacks an
squeals Tt was an hour before Mr. BOvse
came limpin back He sat down aud locke
at her for five minutes, and no word wa
spoken Then sine queried:
'.Weli?'
He is dead-up there about five milesl
replied Mr. Bowser Il ran him down an
left him a corpse on the sands No no
on tie f;.ce of the earth can upset and TO
me around ana live TO brag OF it. NOw
then, woman, have you got any other Iittl
assassination game 70 play on your hui
tadd 70 crafty your spite? II So. troti
out right here and newI"
Mgs Bowser made no reply. She rea
lied shat any reply she could make eve
" IL had cream ana sugar upon it, y oui
only bc n ksunder Mr. Bowser She Their
fore maintained discreet silence, and th
evening grew into night and the giIdin
faded away
NOTE-Mr B0wser is a great hand
lex, especially when he is in the wron.
but he is getting iather weary of the Sc;
shore business and is wondering how |
can get out OF it and save his dignity at Il
1 sg.s