The Dickinson press., 1897-09-11
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"Mood corning, meltls6Seaa Dioe
nayy' politely saluted apl6, intel
lectual looking manas hepaaed the
Ruralville tavern, on tho porch Of
which the landlord and drummer
were converting.
"Great Scott What on earth is
the matter with that manf'' asked
the commercial traveller in astonish-
ment when the passerby was out of
hearing. "That is the most pecul-
lar impediment I ever heard of a
man having in his speech. Who is
he anyhowa"
"That is Lawyer Broadhead," re-
piled the landlord. HE was the
leading attorney in the case of
Hitchcock versus Hotohkiss, which
was tried last month, and in repeat.
ing the names OF the plaintiff and
defendant over and over he got his
speech all tangled up, as you no.
tioed, and hasn't been able to get it
Strengthened out yet"
"Ahi And what was the nature
of the easel"
well, Hitch-1 mean Hotchkiss
ran a store over yonder on the
corner, where you notice that a
building was burned down, and
Hitchcock bought him out, paying
him a sum in cash for the store, fix
lures, good will and accounts, just
as they stood, all in a lump, and
when he examined the books he
found that Kich-that is, Hotohkiss
had been keeping his accounts in
such anovel fashion that he couldn't
make head or tail of.them.
1.-THE merchant has a very short
memory, and when he couldn't re-
call a customers name he just
charged the goods to somepeculiari-
ty in the appearance of the patron,
and as a result he had accounts
against the 'one eyed man. the
lady who talks fast, the queer
looking fellow with the lame dog
and SO on. Naturally there are sew
eral one eyed men and rapid spoken
ladies and queer looking fellows in
the vicinity, and Koch-er-er-the
purchaser of the accounts, met with
denials of the charges on all sides
when he attempted to make collec-
tons.
"Thereupon he sued Hotchkiss-1
mean the other fellow-and Kock-
er-ah-the man he bought from,
fought back. He said he had sold
everything just as it stood, and
Hotohkiss -er-h'm-the purchas-
or, had no rightful kick coming.
Lawyer Broadhead wentintothecase
with all his might and made a thrill
ing and eloquent speech, in which
the names Of the plaintiff and de-
PENDANT were repeated so often that
he got tangled up till he couldn't
say 'em straight to save his life.
The jury got all snarled up, too, and
brought in a verdict for Kisshock
and then tried to change it by say
ing they meant Hotohkiss. The
judge endeavored to set them right
and got tangled up himself and
Kitchkissed and Kichhosed till he
got mad and threw the case out of
court"
"And how did Messrs. Koch-that
is. Kiss-er-er"- began the drum
mer.
"Why, Koshkick-I should say
Kishkosh," answered the landlord.
"Aw-whatever their COMPOUNDED
names were!" growled the drum
mer. "How did they finally settle
lit"
"Hish - er Kook's-I mean
KICK
"Pshawi Let's change the sub
jectl" ca
"All right. I was just going to
say that the store burned down the
night after the judge ruled the case
out of court, and most of the con-
tents, including the accounts, were
destroyed. A portion Of the goods
were saved, though, and those Law.
yer Broadhead gobbled for his fees.
Looks kinder like rain off in the
northeast, doesn't it7'-St. Louis
Post Dispatch.