davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25
An Election Story.

A correspondent of the Springfield
republican reports good story, as
told by Senator Jones of Nevada.
An election was going on at Virginia
City and men had beer hired to
watch the poles to prevent repeating.
The story goes on:
AS il happened our principal
watcher at one booth was stalwart
lrishman named Mccarthy, who had
done great sevice all day i'm stopping
Democratic repeaters. He was an
old soldier and stern Republican.
On certain Jail. presenting HIM
self as Michael Flanagan to the
election inspectors, what was the
horror of our people to hear Nc
Carthy cry out solemnly and sternly,
Z" i challenge that mans vote.n
All the Republicans rushed over
to Mccarthy, telling him to withdraw
the challenge.
"l'll not withdraw it," said Nc.
Carthy, elf it was Abraham Lincoln
himself"
Why, he's one of ourselves -
said Republican in whisper.
"It's case of conscience" said
Mccarthy; 81 can't let him pass. ~
And he put his right hand behind
him.
AT this signal the Republicans fell
back; and the head Democratic
watcher ssaid, with a bland smile
ION what grounds do you challenge,
Mr.. McCarthy?"
"On the grounds of fno-residence,' 81
replied Mccarthy still very stern.
estate the grounds" said the elec
tion inspector, in as business-like 8
tone as he could muster.
&C It's a clear case ofnon-residence,' -
answered Mccarthy. 81 shot Mike
Flanagan last April in the seventh
ward an he's buried there; an
object to any one votin' him in the
fourth.
" tell you," Jones was wont t.
say in winding up, "it was hard tt
carry elections in those days"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

A MAINE guide, while working
on log-drive, fell into the water
He struggled at the bottom for a
while and finally got up, and grasp
ing the log, held on for life. The
current was SO swift that it carried
his body under the log, and his feet
stuck out of the water on the other
side. Just AS a comrade was about
to grasp him by the shoulders he
gasped, looked at his own feet pity
ingly, and said to his rescuer, " Don't
mind me; save that fellow that's in
head first -
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

AN agricultural exchange says of
hard times: I'VE let our timber rot
and buy fenciug. We throw away
ashes and buy soap. We raise dogs
and buy hogs. We grow weeds and
buy vegetables and brooms. We
catch fish with 81 rod. We build
school houses and send our children
away from home to be educated
We buy binder or mower, use it a
year or two, leave it to the mercy of
the weather during the winter
months, theh trade it on a new one,
and add the difference to the note
we give, making the note a little
larger year by year, and so forth and
so on, until wc are dead broke.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

A BURGLAR in Germany, passing
through a room where boy lay in
bed, explained to him that he was
the devil, and having thus frightened
him, as he tiattered himself, into a
condition of silence and immobility,
went his way after the silver. But
the boy, who was religious charac-
ter, presently said to himself: eff
l should kill the devil there would
be no more SIM" and creeping to
where his fathers gun lay, took it
and shot the burglar. He now be-
lieves that the devil is dead.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25
Profitable Lot,

The following speech is nearly a
verbal report of one heard at a
temperance meeting.
- have been thinking since |
came into the meeting tonight about
the losses l've met with since |
signed the total abstinence pledge.
tell you there isn't man in the
society who has lost more by stop
ping drink than | have. Wait bit
until tell you what | mean. There
was nice job of work to be done
in the shop to-day, and the boss
called for me.
Give it to Law said he. He's
the best hand in the shop
Well, | told my wife at supper
time, and she said:
why, Laurie, he used to call YOU
the worst. You've lost your bad
name, haven't you?'
'That's "A fact, wife, saidI. And
it amt all Iye lost in the last six
teen months, either. / had poverty
ana Wretchedness, and lost them. |
had an old ragged coat and shock
ing bad hat, and some waterproof
boots that let the wet out at the toes
as fast as they took 1t in at the heel
i've lost them. / had red face, a
trembling hand, and pair of shaky
legs that gave me an awkward tum-
Die now and then; | had a habit of
cursing and swearing, and I've got
rid of that. | had an aching head
sometimes, and a heavy heart, and,
worse than all the rest, II guilty con.
science. Thank God, Pve lost them
all
Then [ told my wife what she had
lost.
You lost an old ragged gown,
Mary said |. And you had trou.
BILE and sorrow and poor, wretched
home and plenty of heartaches, for
you had miserable drunkard.-
Mary, Mary, thank God for all you
and | have lost since l signed the
temperance pledge y"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

WHY SOPHIA Sophia
Smith was a Well-knOwn character in
the town of A. She owned a small
house and n little patch of land, but
was willing to turn an honest penny
by going out for few days or even
weeks at time TO do housewOrk for
select families. AS she was brisk,
tidy and industrious, she was much
esteemed by her employers. When
Sophia was about forty years Of age
she married an idle, worthless fellow
by the name of Howe. Mrs. Baker
whom she was " helping out" during
an attack of rheumatism once asked
her:
Why in the world, Sophia, did you
ever come to marry old Howe ?"
"Wal, to tell the truth, Miss Baker,
l did IL 80 as to have the prayers of
the church. You see they pray for
the heads of families, the widow and
the fatherless, and the little children,
but who ever heard of their praying
for an old maid ?"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

lT would appear from an incident
recorded in an exchange that not all
railroad officials are up in the geog-
raphy of grace. The story goes that
tract society not long ago sent
Chicago railway agent bundle of
free tracts to be placed on the time
table rack. One of the tracts was
entitled "A Route for the New Je-
rusalem." The agent wrote back to
the society: 1--WE cannot place the
tracts, as the N. j. is not on our
rOutaJ
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

M"THER-Johnny, go into the
bedroom at once. You neglected
your piano practice to-day, and IN
tend to- fl0g you for it. Don't YOU
know that you can never beco,ce
perfect in music Without practice?
Johnny--Yes, but practice on nv
ernatamy amt goin' to make no
perfect music.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

A GOOD Highland minister was en-
deavoring to steer a boatload of city
young ladies to a landing-place. A
squall was bursting; the steering was
difficult. One of the girls annoyed
him by jumping up and calling, anx-
iously, "Oh, where are we going
to?" "lf you do not sit down and
keep still, my young leddy," said
the minister-pilot, succinctly, "that
Will vera greatly depend on how you
were brought up"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

THE Green Bag tells of Georgia
lawyer, who, having case in which
conviction for his client seemed GER
tain, closed his argument with a
scriptural quotation. The jury re-
turned verdict of not guilty with
out leaving their seats, and the fore
man afterward explained the singu-
lar finding to the astonished lawyer
thus: " 1t warn't no point of law,
colonel, but we jest couldn't get over
the sCripture.N
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

" WHY don't you deny this story
ABOUT you in the Bugie ?" asked the
statesman's wife. You have seen
it, suppose ?"
Yes, love, l have seen it.n
" 1t is scandalously false"
Yes; but | can't deny it,"
Why not?"
cit has not yet been called to INV
attention."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

WIFE We have been married
twelve years, and not once In that
time have l missed baking you a
cake for your birthday. Have L,
dear?
Hubby-No, my pet. can look
back Cpon those cakes as milestones
in my life.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

A BRITISH lawyer recalls good
story about Sir Richard Bethel in
connection with case that in dura-
tion and magnitude has probably
never been surpassed. Somebody
proposed to defer a minor point till
" the day of judgment" Won't
that be very busy day ?" said Sir
Richard.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

WHAT are you going to do with
that mule, Uncle? ?''
Gwine tex 'im down ter de col
lege, sah."
What use do you think they can
make of him there ?"
hear dey had football game
dar yistiddy, am dey tell me dat
nary one on 'em could kick a COLE,
so | got de notion dat dey reach de
Emergency whar dey 'quires a null.
| dunno wat COLE is, adzactly, but
eff it amt bigger dan cote-house
dis null boun' ter kick it inter film
ders.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

WIFE enthusiastically - How
much do you think we took in at the
bazaar?
Husband (quietly)--How many,
you mean.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

You durn old plug" said the
farmer to his balky horse, "you ac-
tually amt worth billin'-unless,"
he added, after second thought,
" unless 1 could manage to git you
killed by the railroad.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

A STORY OF -Sheri-
dan once had occasion to call at a
hairdresser's to order a wig. On be-
ing measured the barber, who was a
liberal soul, invited the orator to
take some refreshment in the inner
room. Here he regaled him with a
bottle of port and showed him so
much hospitality that Sheridan's
heart was touched.
When they arose from the table
and were about separating the lat
ter, looking the barber full in the
face, said, "On rejecting, don't
intend that you shall make my wig"
Astonished, and with blank Wis
age, the other exclaimed: "Good
heavens, Mr.. Sheridan How can |
have displeased you?"
Why, look you," said Sheridan,
You are an honest fellow, and, |
repeat it, you shan't make my wig,
for ] never intended to pay for it,
l'll go to another less worthy son of
the craft"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

SAYS DR.. George l.. Perrin a man
Is influenced by his house and his
clothes, If took boy from the
slums to reform him, / would first
lead him 70 tailor's aud get him a
new suit of clothes.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

{" FEEL 80 miserable -
What's the matter ?"
4" Mrs. Robinson told me a secret
to-day and I've forgotten what it
was !"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

SHE PLANNED IT.-"We ;" said
the old gentleman, "now that you've
told me how much you love my
daughter, suppose you go ahead and
give me a little information as to
how you expect to support her."
son." replied Algy, "Clara told
me that all would have to do was
to get the wedding arranged for and
that you would do the rest"
And so he did, though the doctors
announced that while the young
mans injuries were severe they
were not necessarily fatal.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

THE greener nature is the better
she looks. This rule does not at all
apply to human beings.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

NO PLACE FOR GETTING RE-
LIGION."-They are telling Il story
about ~ church with ritualistic"
tendencies. 1t seems that an usher
showed a cOlored woman up to
front seat, and that during the beau
tiful service, with its wonderful
music of sweet boys voices and
grand orchestral accompaniment,
the usher suddenly noticed that the
visitor was swaying to and fro i'm an
agitated manner. Hurrying up the
aisle, he seated himself beside her,
and asked anXiously if she were i'll.
She promptly replied that she was
not, but that she felt so queer that
she thought she must be "getting re-
ugion." "Then, madam" indig-
nantly hissed the offended usher,
- you must get right out Of here
This church is no place for that sort
of thing -,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25

RAILROAD OFFICIAL You say
you want damages for the death Of
Mr.. Puffem in that accident?
Lawyer-YeS, sir.
In what car was he riding?"
In the smoker"
Hum You can take the case
into court if you think it will pay,
but, just remember, you will have to
prove that he did not die of the bad
air before the accident occurred"
"NOTHING yet," said the lawyer,
I" the jury is hung"
"Gosh !" exclaimed the prisoner,
That beats it! / knoWed nv
friends 'ud lynch 'em if they got a
chance at 'em."
JAILER-So you are hero again.
| thought you would be better after
your first punishment.
Prisoner-So am, but 1 wish to
become better.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-11-25
NUMBER 81.

SAM JONES'S HIT.-Some wears
ago Sam Jones preached at a camp-
meeting in Texas. The grounds
were located near a little town where
there were ten saloons to every church
spire and schOOlhousc. In his SER
mon the first night he told his audi
ence that he was going to preach to
men only every morning at five
O'Clock, and that unless he had good
audiences at every sermon he would
pack his trunk and go home. For
seven mornings the horn sounded at
hNe, and, strange to say, nearly every
seat IN the big tent was Occupicd.-
In his farewell sermon he said:
i suppose that | should mako
some sort of an explanation as to
why I've called you men out here
every morning before daylight.-
Well, will tell you. fl gave YOU
until nine or ten O'Clock every dav
you would he so full of Texas beef
and whiskey that it would take
somebody bigger'n Sam Jones to
get next to you. | have tackled
you on empty stOmachs when YOU
were weak, and as two hundred of
you have Joined the church think
my system has worked pretty well.n
The San Francisco call., 1897-05-12

of the defense's front did not change, how
ever. Mr.. Delmas retaining his old place.
There was clinch the moment the first
question, after that regarding the witness
name and occupation, was asked. T is
was, did you know the signature of the
late James G. FAIR in his life,ime?''
Mr.. Mitchell had in his hand check
drawn by Fair on the Bank of British Co.
lumbia and in favor of DR.. Marc Leving-
ingston for $50, and intended to show it to
the witness.
Mr.. Delmas wanted to know something
about the knowledge of the witness in ref
eren ce to the deceased millionaire's hand
writing, and also inquired as to the pur-
pose of this evidence.
Mr.. Mitchell replied that David son could
explain regarding his familiarity with
Fairs handwriting. As to the purpose of
the evidence, counsel said it would, as the
genuine signature of James G. Fair, be
com pared with the disputed signatures ap-
pearing upon certain exhibits already in
trcduced in Notwithstanding presuma-
bly, the Craven deed., the pencil will and
Fairs letter to Mrs. Craven. in which he
said it was his desire to be revenged upon
the men who had 'dogged him into sign
ing those other papers.
Mr.. Delmas commended that the plain
tiffs, under the law, had no right to at
tack duly acknowledged deed until they
had first overthrown the acknowledgment.
The latter, he said, had not been achieved
in this case, despite the promise that it
would be, and he was confident the attor-
news on the other side were thousand
miles from doing 1t.
Mr.. Mitchell insisted that he only de-
sired to in troduce the check as basis for
future general comparison, and the court
The San Francisco call., 1897-05-12

admitted, but subject to rejection later on
in he trial.
The check was then handed to David.
son, and that gentleman readily recog-
nized the signature thereon as being that
OF Fair. Then dozen more checks were
submitted to him and he pronounced
them all genuine.
James Moore, assistant accountant of
the Nevada Bank was next called and
identified number of checks drawn by
The dead millionaire on that bank.
Charles S. Neal, who was Fairs score
tarv In his lifetime. testified that he rec
ognized the handwriting of the Senator in
a number of letters shown him. most of
which were addressed to Angus & Bresse.
The ex-secretary was still identifying
letters when an adjournment was taken
until this morning.
The San Francisco call., 1897-05-12
they ANSWERED
CHAR|TY'S CALL
The Gingerbread Fete
Opened in a Blaze
of Glory.
Money Flows Into the Golfers
of the Children's Hos.
pital.
Bellies and Beaux Spiel for the Big
Show With Splentid
Results.

To the merry cllnk of gold society at
tuned its voice last evening aud all was
gayety and jollity serene at the old
Clark Crocker house, at the corner of Suit
ter and Octavia streets. Stately matrons,
handsome bellies and demure and dainty
buds were playing at keeping store, and
what made the game so exceedingly in
teresting was that it was played in the
cause of charity. under the most alluring
of names, IA gingerbread fete."
The ladies VINO organized this festival
for the benefit of the Chidren's Hospital
cIai m that they followed as models SINH
lar fetes held yearly in Paris.
Visitors at the fete last evening affirm,
however, that this fete can give those of
the gay and giody capital many valuable
pointers. At 1880 P. NJ, when the doors
were thrown open for the waiting throng,
the neig h borhood looked like the village
green at the annual visit of great three
ring circus. Small boys, big boys and
boys with gray beard or bristling mus
taches hung round the long low fence
that surrounds the lawn and searched in
vain for tiny peephole in the glistening
white canvas, electric-topped tent.
Within all was life and hustle. Visitors
rem aiming late, or at all events until their
well-lined pockets held only lonely
nickel-car fare. Never before has even
the sacred cause of charity been able to
congregate such an army OF pretty girls
all with business instinct.
Miss Julia Crocker, Miss Jennie Blair
and Miss Marguerite Sinclair, one OF Oak
lands fairest bellies, achieved dis tinction
as spielers. No one escaped their wiles,
no one wanted to. Miss Croker, with her
cheeks as rosy as the American Beauty
that adorned the shoulder of her pale
green bodice, won more shekes than all
the other girls put together. Miss Blair
worked under the skillful supervision OF
Louis Sloss, and made every bodv, pur-
chase enough fancy work to supply their
respective friends with Christmas pres
ents for the next dozen years to come.
The tableaux proved such success that
a continuous performance was found
necessary to satisfy the immense throng
OF pleasure-seeker
Out on the lawns the tattooed man, the
Circassian lady, the snake-charmer, the
bearded lady, the giantess and whole
army of freaks amused the multitude.
Unfor unately there was no music. For
some unaccountabe reason the ladies
were disappointed at the last moment,
but the ladies promise that the band will
play both this afternoon and evening.
The programme for to-day is especially
rich in novelties. This afternoon Ferris
Hartman and little Arthur Snyder, the
singer, will do their best to amuse the
visitors, end this evening Henry Payot
will deliver his lecture, "GlImpses of the
Mediterranean" On Friday afternoon
Edna Wallace Hopper will be the chief
afternoon attraction.
The San Francisco call., 1897-05-12
DR. FRENCH TELLS WHY
His Reasons for Leaving the
Congregational Ministers
Cub.
A Feeble Protest Ag linst the Tacit
In.orsement of the Rev.
Wllam Raier.

The resignation of DR.. II. G. French
from the Congregational Club as pro-
test against its action in electing Rev.
Mr.. RAIDER president has caused pro-
found stir in denominational circles. The
doctor emphaticaliy declares that he has
no personal feeling against the clergyman.
my resignation" said DR.. French yes
terday, was painful and humiliatln 6
duty in which conscience and loyalty to
Gods word compelled me to sacrifice 10
Christian principle many warm and long
treasured personal relations. l rendered
it as q feeble protest against the club s
action in tacltly lndorsing, by exalting to
the highest office in its gift, one who has
recently obtained notoriety by holding
the Bible up to public contempt and ridi-
cule, both from the pulpit and through
the columns of the secular press, using
against the canons of sacred Scripture the
hOary arguments if not the identic cal
phraseology of notorious inidels.
"a nineteenth century rationalistic
priest of Baal has openly challenged the
credib bility of Gods word, and his denom-
national brethren have replied by pub
licly crowning the skeptic king
"I am not o prophet nor the son of a
prophet, but dare to predict that this &C
tlon on the part OF representa- We Cohgre-
gational clergymen will be infinitely more
injurious to the spiritual interests of their
church than were the recent denominations
of the Brown trial. The magma charta'
of their corporate and divine authority as
ministers of God has been assailed and
challenged in the face of a sneering and
infidel world, and no voice OF public and
authoritative prouest has been heard from
their ranks or their recognized denomina-
tional journal
again. let me dare to prophesy that il
the professed theologians and accredited
ministers of the church persist in treating
as q merely amusing personal idiosyn-
Grassy and a good practical joke this
trihing by one OF their number with the
sacred word, then the days Of the spiritual
power and influence of the Congregational
church of the Pacific Coast are num-
bered."
The San Francisco call., 1897-05-12
Litigation Over Mrs. Cra-
ven's Deeds at Last
Takes a New Turn.
Experts Hired to Dispute the
Handwriting Coming to
the Front.
For the Time Being No More Will
Be Heard of Blanks and Print.
shop Legends.

The attorneys for the Fair estate moved
around new corner yesterday and, in
consequence, there was general awaken
ing in Judge Slack's courtroom in antici-
patton of the long. awaited disclosures.
At last that bland discussion of blanks
IS at temporary end. For time, any
how, nothing more will be heard about
the humdrum of printshop. OF the
pranks of composing-room devils or of the
eccentriciIies of job-office press. Hand.
writing is the theme now. and even that
promises to be but the novelty of day.
Truly, there seems but little prospect OF
anything really stirring until the defense
The San Francisco call., 1897-05-12
WANT UNION MEN.

Metal-Roofers Complain of tho Con-
tractor for tho City Hall Roof.
At the meeting of the City Hall Com
missioners yesterday the metal-workers
who were discharged by Contractor
O'Brien, who is building the new root of
the hall, were heard.
They stated that their places had been
filled bv non-union men, who were not
really metal workers. They asked that
the contractor be compelled to put on
union men.
An investigation of the contract showed
tha. there was no reference in it to unions
or union men, but the Commissioners
stated that the superintendent had power
to discharge all men who were not compe-
tent, and that if any of the men COM
planned of showed that they were not eftl-
cient they would be dismissed.