Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-11-05

~~~~
So long as there are writer's there
will be many who will never resort to
the painstaking labor OF Wordsworth,
as indicated in the journal of Dorothy
Wordsworth: civilian has come back
tired; he has spent all the day in think
ing Of IN adjective for the cuckoo"
His majesty Of Siam is liberal with
his orders. He recently gave an Ital-
ian painter for painting n of his
wives from a photography "the Grand
Cross of the Siamese Crown" 1t is
rather a large order. This cross"
said his majesty, graciously, twill en-
title you to marry twelve wives: it is a
distinction l seldom confer, 10 l hope
you will soon make good use of it."
An eminent preacher, who prsded
himself upon his ability to discourse
will out the aid Of notes. once got into
t. lit; but, when he found himself
f.iIr TO face with his congregation, his
ilcis vanished, his mind was a blank.
.'r l.. ,ped his forehead. but in vain.
IDS ideas would not One "My
friends" he said. II pity you: you have
lost Il live sermon" and he descended
the pulpit steps.
Two freight engines collided near the
Kentucky town of WhitlOck recently.
Both were pretty badly damaged, and
IL engineer was discharged for care
less and disobedience of orders.
The funniest thing about the matter
was the answer of the disObedient en-
gineer to the other, WHO asked, Didn't
you have orders to meet me at Whit
LOCKE" well, dEn 1t, hain't I met
you?" said the engineer who caused
the head-On collision.
A friend of mine, says James Payn,
had a colonial acquaintance who was
very like n certain eminent diplomat
list, and plumed himself upon it. My
friend met him one evening at q recep-
ton, with ever SO large u star on his
breast. ooh, come, Jack, this won't
do! I don't believe there are orders Of
that size in the other hemisphere.
Where did you get 1t from?" The
much-decorated one smiled sweetly on
him, and replied in excellent English,
II received 1t from my sovereign, sir;
{ think you are in some error. I am the
- ambassador"
Conan Doyle tells a story Of a friend
81 his who had often been told that
there is q skeleton in the cupboard of
every household, no matter how re.
spectacle that household may be; and
he determined to put this opinion to q
practical test. Selecting for the sub.
ject Of his experiment a venerable
archdeacon of the church, against
whom the most c%ensorious critic had
never breathed q word, he went to the
nearest postoffice and dispatched this
telegram to the reverend gentleman,
"All is discovered! Fly at once!" The
archdeacon disappeared and has never
been heard of since.
The Bishop Of Worcester, England
once had occasion to travel through
Banbury by rail. Being DESTROYS tt
test and at the same time to encourage
the far-famed industry of that town
he beckoned IL small boy and inquired
the price Of the celebrated buns
'%"Threepence each," said the boy. The
bishop thereupon handed him sixpence
and desired him to bring one to the
car, adding: "And with the other three
pence you may buy one for YOURSELF
The boy shortly returned, complacent
ly munchfng his Banbury, and, hand
ing the threepence in coppers to the
bishop, exclaimed: "There was onl,
one left, guv'nor."
A careless mason dropped a bricl
from the second story of n building or
which he a at work. Leaning ovel
the wall and glancing downward, ht
discovered n respectable citizen witt
his silk hat damned over his eyes ant
ears, rising from a recumbent posture
The mason, in tones of apprehension
inquired, did that brick hit any ont
down therc?" The citizen, with grca,
difficulty e%xtricating himself from til,
extinguisher into which his hat hat
been converted, replied, with consider
able wrath, eyes, sir, it did. 1t hi,
me-" 'That's right" exclaimed TIL,
mason, in tones of undisguised admira
lion; mobile man, I would rather have
"oSSS0 S4OuoAAA OllCho lLuu uivS
!fou tell me a lie about it,"
Some years ago Judge Stipp, Of
Princeton, was pleading q damage cast
before the Illinois Supreme bench. A
short time before the court had dccid
ed an almost similar case, in which
one Of the parties had lost fingers
against the injured man, saying in
!heir decision: "The party being an at
torney, his injury does not keep hin
rom climbing those heights where
fame's proud temple shines afar.'" Mr.
Stipp vas deep in the point of law
when his remarks were interrupted by
the Justice who wrote the former de
cision, who said: ''Was not this poin1
covered in a decision n short time agc
by this court?" Eyes, your honor" re.
piled the attorney, ut was, but nv
client has lost his toes, and has nc
claws to climb those leights,' etc.
The other justices smiled audibly and
the lawyer was allowed to finish IL
peace.
mr. Ia. c-.zA-. -.