The morning times., 1897-02-28
CARL DUNDER AGAIN.
He Opens a Combination and We'll
comes the General Public.

| One day a man Gums in my place uud drinks
| my beer and reads my gas meter und dat
| fat police sergeant says | vbas swindled
| und should look eudt. Next day another
man Gums und acts shuSt the same und
! Sif hi m der boot, una yhas fined S25 und
| some cost. one time an express man Gums
| nit a package una collects fife tollar und
| when l open him he yhaS big stone Dot
| fat police sergeant says Was greenhorEs,
| und don't know somebody. Next day dot
! express man Gums NIT package und L
| fight nit him, und hat to pay feefly tolIar.
! One day der man. WHO makes der taxes
| Gums in my place und drinks four beers
| und sd VS. he-makes my taxes lower. | 20
| by der police sergeant, und he laughs at me
| und says | better go back to Shermany.
| Next day another man comes to drink nv
| beer und see about taxes und run him out
| und vhaS in troubles If somebody yhas no.
body, how you going TO tell about it?
By und by yhas tired und start comic
| almanac She vhas Carl Dunder's Sher-
! manalmanac. Sheyhas pictures Sheyhas
! funny. She yhas SO funny dot laugh all
! night und can't sleep, und my ole woman s
! laugh und fall down stairs und break a
| leg. My son Shake, he laugh too and haf
some fits und cost me $50 und so | pif
| oop der hizness. / shange dot almanac
| overund ma ke him serious und pathetic .und
| dot vhaA bad for Inc. ! weep all day long
und my oldt woman's vhas like me md
, my son Shake, he cries till we haf to call
| der doctor. IL vhas sooch sadness dot
| der butcher on der corner can't attend to
| peesness more, und der shoemaker in der
| middle OF der block feels so badt dot he
| hangs himself Dot makes me go oudt of
| dotalnanac peesness und try something el Sc.
| Ladies and Shcntlemens-I like to in
| tro1uce myself in my new peesness I
| haf opened some saloons for beer but
| she yhas divided off in two pieces One
yhas for beer und der onder one for a
! museum. 1t vhas no sharge to go in
| or come oudt, und stay ash long az YOU
like. You can stay in or stay oudt-
| she vhas der same to me. Dot beer
vhas for sale at der usual price, und
she yhas ten KS, but if YOU don't vhant
some you 90 by der museum una size
vhas Shust der same. She vhas inuo.
cent for women ind children, und no one
vhas made better for seeing my place.
Ny on, Shake, GOT der idea-of der museum.
una der oldt womans, She haf an idea OF
working der two in harmony. Shake vhas
dot museum running all X. o.
like TO Gail your attention to my lulu
/ don't know he vhas lula till der man
who sells him TO me gifts me dot pointer
| belief all der time he yhas a stuffed
cat, INIT glass eyes und d bob tail Dot
lulu vhas from Africa; und he yhas so
fierce dot efen der elephants run avhay
from him. II a 'Inah should meet ID lulu
| i'll an African forest at midnight, God help
| dot mani He would shuSu hear one awful
scream, und den ne would he in kindIing
wood, una dot lulu would drink his blood
und scream. Ha! ha! ha. Nopody shall be
afraid of my lulu because he vhaS
deadt una can't fight und because vhas
at hand to protect the winns und shil-
drens. like 10 say, ir- conclusion, dot no
| poby Shall poke him NIT stick, und dot he
| vhas der only specimen effer brought to
America. Sometime dot police sergeant
says | vhas a lulu myself but he don't haf
time to point himself.
In dot next cage you find der hodag.
l don't know some, hodags until ! buy
| him for SI5. l belief he yhas stuffed
| fox, und | shmile at him, but der mans
| lie brings me proofs dat he vlas right
! Dot hOddg vhas from Australia. where
| he goes roaming aTuundt to eat eafery-
| pody oop. While n. Was a shInall animal
| he has big appetite, und if he don't eat
| one man day he Was hungry. He don't
| fear nupody. If you meet him When you
! vh2s walking out YOU vEas gone opp der
! spout. He sbumps ON your back uTd filings
| you down, ana for ten minutes he toys
init you und makes you belief he vhas ali
in fun. You pet him und call him fon
names, und belief you vhill go home: but
be shumps at you und you vhas in heaven
in two minutes. Nopody else has museum
| init a hUdag in il. He vhaS not to be had
Dis one vhas found dcadt. und he vhas
| valued at ten tousand dollar. He don't
hurt nopOdy unless you poke him in der
eye NIT an umbrella. In conclusion, vbill
say dot de more beer you drink in der
| saloon part der bigger dot hodag looks in
der museum.
1t Elfs me pleasure to speak Of dot
dodo In dot third cage. He vhas rare
You may go by ten museums und you
don't find him. My oldG woman said
he vltaS half turkey, hut l pay $50 for
him und find oudt be yhas "A dedo. I
Stlas not so very well posted ahoudt
dot tlntlo, as der man who sells him to
Inc has to go right away to Chicago,
but know he vhas a hadt bird. He comes
from switzerland, und he flies aboudt
und looks for womanS and shIldrens If
he finds one outdoors it vhas gUUdby. lie
screams two times und seiZes dot victim
und bears him off to his nest, und it yhas
| no good to follow after. Some day You may
find some bones, dot vhas all. A full grown
dodO, like the one you see before yoI, can
eat one woman or two shildren efery day,
und such vhas der fear OF him dot no Swiss
woman goes oudt by her hog pen midout a
rope around ther waist. You can see by
his tail dot dis bird flies by night as well
as by day. If girl stands oudt by her
gate Mt night waiting for her fellers to
come along. maypc dot feiler finds her und
Inaype She vhas-whsh: gone oop der
mountains to feed der dOdo. She kicks und
screams und cries for mercy, but it vhas no
use. Two years later, maype, her hatpjn
vhas found among der rocks, but no more.
She vhas inside dot dodo, and der dodo
can't be seen.
My friends. like you to come in und call
on me und look aroundt. she vhas no free
lunch. and she yhas no prize package, but
she vhas q respectable place, und you
vhas Interested. If you go by my street
you see one door init sign of carl Dun
der's Saloon" on it. A little yhays on
you see another door init a sign of carl
Dunder's Museum" on it. Dot yhas all
right. You can't get into two places by
one door, und so nopody makes mistake.
If you go in by one door und don't like it
you can go oudt und see some other door
und make her all right. If some inno-
cent people call FOL, beer he shall haf it und