Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-03-05

ing, producing apo
plexy in the minds of the jury"
An old French lawyer, writing of an
estate he had just bought, added:
There is chapel upon it in which
my wife and wish to be buried, If God
spares our lives"
On a tombstone in Indiana is the fol-
lowing inscription: This monument
was erected to the memory of John jim
kins, accidentally shot as a mark OF
affection by his brother
| A Michigan editor received some
verses not long ago with the following
note of explanation: These lines were
written fifty years ago by one who has,
for a long time, slept in his grave
merely for pastime."
A certain politician, lately condemn
ing the government for it's policy con-
corning the income tax, is reported to
have said: They'll keep cutting the
wool off the sheep that lays the golden
eggs until they pump it dry"
An orator at one of the university
unions bore off the palm when he de-
clared that " the British lion, whether
it is roaming the deserts Of India or
climbing the forests of Canada, will not
draw in it's horns nor retire Into its
she'll"
A reporter in describing the murder
of a man named Jorkin said: The
murderer was evidently in quest of
money, but luckily Mr.. Jorkin had de-
posted all his funds in the bank the
day before. so that he lost nothing but
his life"
A merchant who died suddenly left
in mis- bureau letter to one of his cor
respondents which he had not sealed.
His clerk, seeing it necessary to send
the letter, wrote at the bottom: Since
writing the above have died.
An Oklahoma editor expresses his
thanks for a basket Of oranges thus:
I'VE have received a basket of oranges
from our friend, Gus Bradley, for
which he will please accept our COM
pliments some of which are nearly six
inches in diameter"
The Morning Post in 1912 made the
following statement: 1--WE congratu
late ourselves most on having torn off
Cobbett's mask and revealed his cloven
foot. 1t was high time that the hydra
head of faction should be soundly
raped over the knuckles."
An English lecturer on chemistry
said: "One drop of this poison placed
on the tongue of a cat is sufficient to-
kill the strongest man." and an Eng
lish lieutenant said that the Royal
Niger company wished to kill him to
prevent his going up the river until
next year.
A clergyman in aneastern town warn
ed his hearers lately mot to- walk in a
slippery path, lest they be sucked
maelstrom- like, into its meshes" This
metaphor suggests that of another
clergyman who prayed that the word
might be as nail driven in a sure
place, sending it's roots downward and
it's branches upward
The present duke of Leeds is; re-
ported to have accused the late govern
ment of making direct attack on the
brewers by means of a side wind. II
was during the late administration that
one of the Irish whips telegraphed to
Dublin that 'the silence of the Irish
of commons no longer
It was the celebrated Sergt Arabin
who, at the Central. Criminal court in
formed the prisoner before him that
eff there was a clearer case Of man rob-
bling his master that case was this
case;" and, after passing sentence, con-
cluded 81, therefore, give YOU the OPP
portunity of redeeming a character IT.
retrievably lost"
In the Irish house of commons of
1895, during debate on the leather tax,
the chancellor of the exchequer, Sir
John Parnell, observed that, in the
prosecution, Of the present war every
one ought to- be ready to give his last
guinea to save the remainder of his
fortune" Mr.. Vandeleur replied that
"a tax on leather would press very
heavily on the barefooted peasantry
of Ireland
At recent temperance gathering
an orator exclaimed: THE glorious
work will never be accomplished until
the good ship Temperance shall sail
from one end of the land to the other,
and with cry of Victory! at each
step she takes shall plant her banner
in every city, town and village Of the
United States" Another speaker said
that "All along the untrodden paths
of the future we can see the hidden
footprints of an unseen hand" I'VE
pursue the shadow, the bubble bursts