davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Desirable.

"It's perfectly disgraceful" she ex-
claimed.
whats the matter? inquired her
husband.
Here's n description of a woman
who gets up in public and declares her.
self an Anarchist"
WELL" was the rejoinder, "maybe
it's all for the best. l believe I'd like
to see women crowd the males out Of
the Anarchist business. When they
threw bombs they wouldn't be so likely
to hit Observation-Disclosures Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Varied Methods.

~ suppose" said the young woman
with the inqulring mind, that most
people who go in search of gold get 1t
by working the creeks and chasms."
MOSTLY, MISS" replied Derringer
Pete, though once in a while some
gifts a lot of it by working u
bluff."-Washington Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

A certain judge in Kentucky Is re-
to have ended his charge to the
Jury the other day as follows: "1f you
believe what the counsel for the plain
tiff has told you, you will give your
verdict for the defendant. But If you
are like me and don't believe what
either of them said don't know what
you will do" The jury vas not out
long.-New York Tribune.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Wheat Is sold at San Francisco and
other Pacific coast points by the GENITAL
of one hundred pounds instead of by
the bushel of sixty pounds. This is
the explanation Of the wide disparity
IN the daily quotations between San
Francisco and eastern markets.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Protecting Their interests.

F~TUIeCtfHH IHeIF IHttrests.
1t vas at the summer resort where
there was only one young man.
'That young woman Is wonderfully
popular" said the middle-aged man.
"What makes you think SOP inquired
his wife.
"All the other girls are crowding to
the station to bid her good, bye"
"Oh, they aren't really going for the
sake of bidding her goodbye. They
want to make sure that she doesn't
carry away the engagement ring
Washington Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

81 am afraid the authorities at Wash
ington city are a trif1e Slow" remark
ed Mr.. Point Breeze.
what makes you say that?" asked
Mr.. Murray Hill.
"They neglected to take q census
while the food of office-seekers was at
its DISTINGUISHING Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

1t Is claimed that General Sheridan
didn't swear that terrible oath" as he
can , down the Winchester pike. Thus
the food of truth is washing away all
our historical dams.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Nine. PATHS Dread of Burglars.

Burglars are the great terror of
Nine. PATHS life at Craig-y-Nos Castle,
and she has had all the window shut
tiers fitted with electric bells, which
start ringing at the slightest touch,
while by the same machinery a gun is
fired and a number of dogs are let
loose In the grounds. Special watchmen
are told off every night ON round"
duty.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

for the statement that "a parrot In
Baltimore thirty-tive years old has just
laid her first egg" Polly doubtless
wanted "a cracker"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Services to Suit the Weather.

Mr.. Hiland-The minister at Il
church knows what sort o. a service TO
hold on a hot Sunday morning.
Mr.. Halket-Is that SO?
Mr.. Hiland-Now, last Sunday he
preached only twenty minutes and one
of the hymns was From G%reenland's
Icy MISUNDERSTANDING Chronicle
telegraph,
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Cleveland people are mad because
President Mckinley slipped into town
in advance of the proposed reception.
The advance agent was again too far
ahead of the show.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The Atlanta Constitution says: IRE
Gently IL northern poet was attacked
and severely beaten by a Texas des-
perado." This proves Senator Hoar's
~nreXalnnI.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Reserved and Hnnpl,4x.

Watts--We are fast developing an
~aristocracy of wealth."
Potts-I believe you. Wealth Is get
ting more a~ristocratic every day. 1t
is almost Observation-Disclosures
oils Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

That bullet-proof cloth which stop
ped rifle bullets at Fort Sheridan can
not be accepted as thoroughly reliable
until its qualities are tested by Yukon
mosquitoes.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Chorus of Excited Voices-Heavens.
A boat wrecked, you say? And none
of Its occupants escaped?
Life-Saver (grimly)-Only the fellow
who rocked it.-Truth.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

~ have observed that women very
often make fools of themselves in poll
ties" said IL Kansas preacher to an
audience of ladies at Emporia the 9TH
or day. What the women observed Is
not reported.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Mr.. Kink Ito a professor in Biddle
University)-"Perfesser!" well, Mr..
Kink?' (Which is the past tense of
the verb to hoodoo'-hoodone or doc.
did?"-Harlem Life.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
They Differ.

"Don't you believe all you see In the
funny papers about summer girls and
their engagements just for fun" said
the sad-eyed man.
"Why not?"
81 thought | had met that kind OF
girl last summer; but she married me
good and tight before the year was
out."-Philadelphia North American.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The Washington Post says: There
is always something wrong with that
Chicago ~postoffice; now it has a ghost"
Well. we suppose the ghost walks reg
ularly anyway.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

United States Supreme Court didn't
agree with him. He promptly over
ruled the court and went right ahead"
1t isn't known now whether the SUI
preme Court will appeal the case Or
not
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
The ~SituatiOn.

"They say we can't have prosperit,
until confidence is restored"
yes; and we can't have confidence
until prosperity is restored."-Puck.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
"Well, you'd better pretend you can't


Mrs. Porkley-I often wonder how
people manage to understand each 9TH
er In France.
Mrs. Gotham-How absurd.
Mrs. Porkley-Well, both my daugh-
tiers speak French, and they can't un-
derstand each other.-Up-to-Date
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

"Mrs. Hashcroft does treat that new
boarder scandalously."
"Why shouldn't she? He is only CO.
ing to be in town a month and his
board is paid in MISUNDERSTANDING
oils Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

"Slowboy says he would rather run
q lawnmower than lie In a hammock"
How absurd"
"No; he says his wife can't put the
baby in his lap when he is running the
lawn-mower."-Detroit Free Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

They make quick work of assassins
In Spain. Court martial is good enough
for the Spanish authorities and dila-
tory appeals and new trials find no ell
couragement.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The Memphis Commercial Appeal
says that "a Tennessee justice I'm Giles
County was considerably embarrassed
the other day by the discovery that the
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
I'm to Fly.

General" cried the orderly, riding
up to headquarters in great excite
ment, our left wing is gone"
Then it is no longer possibly to
fly" returned the general, thoughtful
ly. However, we should not forget
that our legs are left"
Thereupon he led the way.-Chicago
Post.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The duke of Westminster, we arc
solemnly informed. has more children
than any other member of the British
peerage, and still England seldom says
Il word about her infant industries.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

What necessity is there for a chain
less bicycle, anyway? The average
pedestrian never is bothered by the
bicycle chain; it is the bicycle crank
that causes all the trouble.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Remains to Be Seen.

81 suppose that Longshot will be too
proud to speak to anybody when he
comes back from the Klondike gold
fields"
You can't tell" replied Mr.. Sinnick.
SIT all depends on whether he Is in a
condition to borrow OF lend money
Washington Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

"She used to be so delicate before
she took to the wheel"
"Well, she's indicate enough now"
Detroit Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The Chicago Dispatch says: Just as
a man begins to do fairly we'll making
money, along comes a detective and ar
rests him for counterfeiting."
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

How old are you. littl girl?" asked
the kind lady of a 3-year-old.
"I's not old at ALL" was the reply.
"l's most new."-Harper's Baza-.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

One of the most puZzling European
questions of the day is. What has in
duced Mr.. Langtry to take the slightest
interest in his own domestic affairs?
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

An Ohio man wants a divorce from
his bride because she refuses TO cook
for his dog. Perhaps she is a cooking
school graduate and really likes the
doc
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

West Virginia is now experiencing
her twenty-seventh annual eruption OF
the Hatfield-McCoy feud, and the un-
dertakers are b%ehindhand with their
orders.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
cientihc Methods.
tiches have wings.

DTrCH-ItICHeS HdFG WIHSS'
Pine-Possibly. But most million
aires seem to have succeeded in clip
ping them pretty closely.-Brooklyn
Life.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

L'Alouette is French for lark, and the
way he ran the futurity saved many a
fellow from being "out on a lark"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
N~eighborly Repartce.

Mrs. 411-Willie is lost and | can't
find him anywhere.
Mrs. 409-Haye you inquired at the
dog pound? philadelphia Enquirer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

A thoughtful Buffalo paper editorial
ly regrets that Convict Willis did not
live long enough to serve out his life
sentence. Too bad!
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

A Kentucky man offers to swallow a
snake three feet long for 50. He will
not make much on that deal; the whis-
ky probably will cost almost that
nn1al1nt
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

1t will be observed that the "Sick
Man of Europe" Is now able to sit up
and notice things.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Farmers in the Klondike are all
right; flour ground from their wheat
sells for $1.20 per pound.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
.HUMOR OF THE WEEK
STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN
OF THE PRESS.

odd, Curious and Laughable Phases
of Human Nature Graphically Por-
trayed by Eminent Word Artists OF
Our Own Day-A Budget of Fun.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The American navy is n hundred
years of age. Like the lrishman's pig.
its little, but its aud"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Not His Kind.

Farmer Timothy-Them sofies, young
man, may be all the style, but it would
take a circus actor to lie In one Of
'em.-Louisville Evening Post.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

A Bulgarian poet was stabbed to
death by an unknown assassin the
other day. Nobody has been arrested
yet; perhaps everybody is satisfied.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

No Klondike argonaut should fail to
take with him a volume of Whittier's
beautiful poem, Snow Bound"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

what have you to say for yourself?"
said the Judge to the man who had
been convicted of stealing a watch.
MY early education is responsible
for it, your honor"
"H0w so?"
II was taught that In order to do
things properly it was necessary to
take time."-Detroit Free Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

An exchange remarks: How sweet
and foxy Of the Duchess of York to
wear her green poplin in lreland!' 1t
isn't dress the Irish demand. It's re-
dress.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Those London editors who are howl
ing for war with the United States
would better 'go count themselves"
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

No, dear correspondent, it is not
necessary to take a gun along with you
to shoot the Yukon. rapids.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Dawson City seems to offer al invlt-
ing field of operation for the hot tomato
man.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Charles Dudley Warner suggests
gum chewing as a remedy for GRIEF.
Great grief.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

When the horseless carriage
how shall it be stopped? Whoa or
halt?
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

1t q quiet w%edding?"

"WaS IT q quiet W~eddingT"
Eyes, only the relatives were pres
ent."
well, my idea of n wedding would
be the restraining presence of a few
outsiders Truth.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

"Can you swim?" asked the girl who
had been at the beach before.
Eyes, indeed" replied the new ar
rival.
"Well, you'd better pretend you can't
or you'll miss all the fun of having
some nice young a teach you."-
Chicago Post.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

The Courier-Journal says the quality
of Louisville water is bad. Hearsay
Evidence is not considered good.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Changed the Name.

"They are not called chaperons an,
more"
"What are they called?"
promoters. "-ChicagO Record.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
His Experience

"On the WHOLE" said the aged
weather prophet, 81 have found that
the safest course is to predict bad
weather."
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Woman's Way.

$50, after they had fought for her
she married the one who got whipped,
did she?
Eyes. She reasoned that a man who
would fight a man who could whip
him must be Drawer than n man who
fought a man he could whip."-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
Strange.

Visitor-What do you find the hard
est thing to draw?
Mr.. Crowley-Well, l think monkeys
the most Observation-Disclosures En-
quirer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30

Don't let me drop, you wretch. I'll
let you have 1t for this when l get
home. Help! H-e-l-p!"-Sketchy Bits.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-10-30
so?" asked the neophyte.

Because people are much more
ready to forgive you if the prediction
does not come true."-Puck.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16
MRS. Mckinley Bestews rsvors.

The wife o! the President has gives
special permission TO John Philip Sousx.
The March King" to dedicate 70 her
his new composition, just flushed. and
which will be called THE Lady Of The
White House." Mrs. Mckinley for
warded her permission last week 10 the
editor OF the Ladies' Home journal,
which will publish the Souss con-
position somplete in It's next issue.
This magazine has alto received FOR
tho same number II new and large
portrait Of Mrs. Mckinley, taken Z few
days ago in the White House coA-
servatory. This is the second photo
graph which the Presidents wife hss
allowed 10 be taken within ten years,
the first portrait taken OF her since
1887 having also gone 10 the Ladies'
Home Journal, which published It In its
last October number. causing the en-
tire edition OF that issue TO BE- q
hausted.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16

Quaramtiuc for inte rior Towus.

To one versed in sanitary science it
is inexplicable that a national control
Of the quarantine service should be
specially advocated ss means Of pro-
tecting the general health OF the coun-
try, when the obstruction to business
and travel, the enforcement of foolish
and unnecessary rules governing the
entrance and exit Of persons and goods
during the prevalence OF infectious
disease. are confined mainly TO the
interior towns, or at least to those
places outside of the jurisdiction Of
quarantine officers.
In order 10 appreciate the absurdity
OF this it is only necessary 10 consider
the great mortality in the interior,
due 10 infectious diseases. which I, q
quently results from carelcssncss and
ignorance. not on the part of the peo-
pie alone, but also fu- the health
authorities. Small towns have been
subjected to great loss Of life by out
breaks of diphtheria. In one week
City deaths have occurred In place OF
two or three Thousand Inhabitants
without causing much consternation
outside the immediate locality, and
without any action on the part Of the
government officials. Who arc so solicit
ous regarding the cCast quarantine.
Serious outbreaks of typhoid fever
are constantly occurring rs the result
OF polluted water supply. This
occurs from year to year without any
apparent concern on the part Of the
community affected. Another danger
10 which the public is exposed. par.
ticularly the infantile portion OF it, i.
the milk OF tuberculous cattle. Wher
IL is considered to what extent milk i.
relied upon as the sole n0urishment d
children, the gravity OF this danger
cannot be over-estimated, particularly
rs We know this disease to be yer,
common among cattle, frequently in
volving 10 to so per cent Of an entire
herd. Although meteorological work
has confirmed the danger from thi:
source, but little effort outside Of thu
large rities has been made to protec'
the consumers. The loss OF life in tha
United States from yellow fever il
stsolutely Insignificant compared with
the deaths resulting from causes JUS
enumerated. IF it is necessary for thu
protection OF the people, that the gov
ernment assume direct control o
health matters at the coast, it is equal
~ il not more important that it shoult
take the direct charge Of the health 0
those living in the interior. - From tn,
National GorrrH,aent aad PHbiir Health
by DIR. Alvah II. Doty, Health Officel
of the Port Of New York, in N"rt'
american Rerie,r for December.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16
Dreadfaily Nervous.

Gcnts:I was dreadiully nervous,
and for relief took your karl's Glover
Root Tea. II quicted nv nerves and
streng thened my whole Nervous 8ys-
tenn. / ~as troubled with Cunstipa-
tion, Kidney and Bowel trouble.
Your Tea soon cleansed my system -
thoroughly that rapidly reeained
health and strength. Mrs. s. A..
Sweet, Hartford. Conn. Sold BY DR..
w. j. Comfy 4 Son.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16

Miss Allie Hughes, Norfolk, Va, was
fvightfully burned on the face and neck.
Pain Was Instantly relieved by Dewist's
Witch Hazel Salve, which healed the
injury without leaving scar. It is the
famous pile remedy. J. s. TAICoTT.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16

8. G. Thornton is Offering grslk
bargains 10 Shoes at soc. to 81, regular
81 and 9l.5e grade. Odds and Eads.
Call and see II We have your sire.
About 500 pair to close out.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16

Complete line OF the famous Culpep-
PEI stif hats at kelly's.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16
TIE discover, ef tie nay.

Aug. ] Boyle, the leadioe drvggist
OF Shreveport, Lii, says: "Ds. Kioe's
New Discovery is the only thing thai
cvres my cough. and il 10 the besl
seller I have J. F. Campbell. mse-
chaat Of Stafford, Ariz.. writes: ''Dr.
Klns's New Discovery is all thxt 10
claimed for IL; It never tails. and 10 =
sure cure for Consumption. Coughs saa
Colds. caonot say enough for It's
merits = Or. Kings New Discovery
Tor Consumption, Coughe and Colds IL
not IN experiment. IL has been tried
for quarter Of = century, and today
stands at the head. 1t never disap-
points. Free trial bottle at J. S. Tai
colts Drug Store.
Send II cents in postage stamps and
I will send you two Dss Moines Lovers
Knot pins. Address VIM. HILEs.
AL Fourth ST., Sioux City, In.
Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-12-16
S. G.. THORNTON.
Holidays! Holidays! Holidays !!

NJ ORE Toys Dolls. Chnaware and useful presents
for Xmas than before shown in one stock
in Elk Point Come i'll and bring the children. egive
one pound of fine Xmas Candy with every dollars worth
OF Holiday Goods bought up to New Years Eve 1895
Candy is good and fresh, and consists of cream and
peanut mixed.
Our Store is regular klondike for buyers
Bargains in Xmas Goods all through the store.
Beautiful Imported China Cups and Saucers, Berry Sets
Fruit Sets New Glassware Water Sets Wine Sets, Fine
Dinner and Tea Sets Bedroom Sets in New Patterns
and Shapes Banquet Lamps and Onyx Tables Silver
ware and Carving Sets. Jewery, Fine Table and Pocket
Cutlery Plush and Celulod Albums Work Boxes, Toilet
Sets Cuff and Cuar Boxes Manicure Sets, Xmas Cards
and Books.
Special Low Prices to all Call and the inn
varieties at
S. 6. THORNTON's.
Santa Headquarters.