Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-09-19

selling Gyp's vaJ7se to car aboard.
A civil engineer couldn't fig 8 out how
it was done, biz somehow Itripped IN
or got tangled IMP, and took a header
into the dirtiesd river on the continent.
coming up full Of sewer gush and with
out the grip.
1t was the lyss of the latter that
seemed most to disturb Gyp, and even
after it was recoeersd by a wharf rat
that hired for that purpose, she was
in the dumps over the damage done nu-N
merous toilet articles that seemed es-
sential to her enjoyment of the trip.
That send-off completely ratified me-
and aggravated my tendency to make
a bad break wherever and whenever
there was an opening. At the first meal
I knocked a cup of coffee from the wait
er's hand into Miss Jolly's lap. The
scream she let out the way in which
she handled her skirts in making dash
for the stateroom and the marked pe-
culiarity of her walk for few DAYS.
indicated that her person as well as her
property had been damaged.
When | Joined the rest of the passen-
gers in waving at a passing steamer
knocked old Mrs Pitts hat into Lake
Michigan. and the clear. crisp way in
which she expressed gratitude that
did not throw her in with ii attracted
the attention of everybody to my gro
tesque style of architecture, as we'll as
my demoralized appearance. After that
ii was a physical imposibility for mo
to cross the deck without running down
some kid or having a chair take fall
out of me.
1t grew suddenly cooler one evening.
and, hurrying for warmer coat.
bolted into Gyps room instead of nv
own. The whitening look she put on
was pretty much all she wore at the
time, but the manner In which glued
my eyes shut, tried to sputter an ex-
PLANTATION and fell backward over the
door sill must have convinced her that
my intentions were honorable, and that
her failure TO lock the door amounted
to contributory negligence. l at once
provided against a recurrence of this
little incident by negotiating for quar-
tiers with the mate in the pilot house.
L kept up running fire of mistakes
and mishaps, but a point had been
reached where it required something
startling on my part to create surprise.
l supplied it down on Lake Erie. Early
one morning the man at the wheeSe
shouted TO me that there was water
spout in sight, the first he had seen in
90 years sailing. Out | bounced with
out waiting to dress, assuring myself
that there would be no one on top at
that time.
But L dashed into a crowd, Pittsey's
folks being nearest me. l checked my
headlong speed so suddenly that I set
down in a fire bucket, sadly disarrang-
ing my drapery. The bucket showed 2
disposition to stay with me, and in the
fight for release l did some ground and
lofty tumbling that caused a number OF
those present to forget the rare phe-
nomenon which had attracted them
from their beds.
| could see that those in attendance
did not regard the escapade as very
bad one for me, and / would have come
out of the thing with nothing worse
than being laughed at had | not pro-
ceeded as soon as / reached my room to
get out of my night attire with view
to dressing and taking look at that
waterspout This would have been
permissible had the curtains been
drawn.
But as they we've not a committee ot
able-bodied men MATTED upon me then
and there. I thinkSbe verdict would
have been to drown bad 1t not o.
CURED A~alynV-eyed lnGS p
that | certainly cMldl
shape and must bsav tile W
ventory of my attractions so h.
temporary whiteeap6ers that It.
me off with a warning, and ii was 10
O'Clock that night before | made anoth-
er public appearance.
After that | kept myself under the
closest surveillance, and broke my neck
trying to please my party. Going
through the Weland canal we had time
to get ashore, and learning that there
were some flowers in a hollow near by.
| induced Gyp and Miss Jolly TO accept
an invitation. AS the main deck was
but few feet above the top OF the wall.
| undertook to lift the girls from tho
rail.
| landed Gyp without mishap, but
Miss Jolly's skirts were gathered un~hx
an iron pin placed there to hold sGcuit
Of small rope. There she hung Kick
ing, hiding her face and Ealing for me
to release her / was simply paralyzed
and she would have been hanging there
yet had | been the sole dependence. A
collected old gentleman and a deck
hand hoisted her up and carried her to
her stateroom.
] encountered frowns at every turn,
but was bound to do my duty In asking
after the injured girl. On learning that
the pain Of her wounds were being re-
lieved by rubbing them with brandy. I
had fool idea that | should make my
solicitude more impressive and inno-
Gently asked If there was any danger Of
Miss Jolly suffering from her exposure.
Then the old lady did give me a verbal
trimming down, and I could not con-
vince her that / had only made another
Of my blunders.
About this time 1t dawned upon ma
that | was dead gone on Gyp, and one
evening | threw myself at her feet. COZ
so tangled up that she was TO all Il
tents and purposes nailed to her CD
and despite all-her efforts to checf
went through with the highly fak
proposal that had been rehearsal
hours
She finally made me understand that
she was Pittsey's married sister: that
her husband was living. and that they
had no idea Of separating. She Gas az
angry as the mother. Miss Jolly always
looked somewhere else when was
around, and I was chiefly devotIng my
time to wondering what under the
heavens 7 wanted tn live for