Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-07-21

"Well, it strikes me that crash
suit is rather out of season for q man
destined so soon to be showed under" {"
With a face distorted by rage John
of Evans started towards John of Nc
Laurin with the evident intention of
pulverizing him. John of Irby shout
ed to the Aiken man to wade in and
win and he would stand off and see it
we'll done. John of Duncan sternly
informed John of Irby that the fight
had to be fairly fought and the man
who attempted to interfere would
have to interview the cyclopean cor
porealty of Duncan. A real, interest
ing "scrap" seemed imminent. Both
combatants had waited in vain for
somebody to step between them.
Round and round they circled looking
for an opening. Evans wore bicycle
face and crash trunks made of some
free, raw material McLaurin was
we'll protected by sense OF duty and
knickerbockers made of Egyptian cot
ton.
"Just let me get one good punch at
that mug of yours" painted John of
Evans, sand I'll bet that not even
your dear Applet will be able to recog-
nize you."
GAIL 1 want is an uppercut," return
ed John of McLaurin, calmly, "and
I'll guarantee that squedunks will
sing no more on the stumps of Caro-
lima"
At this juncture the voice of the ora
Gle thundered forth: "Cease wrang-
ling, pitiful mortals,iand listen to the
decree of the Oracle of Destiny"
Instantly all was silent and tense
was again writ on every
feature. The Oracle proceeded in
tones of calm assurance: "Thou art
anxious to know what the future has
in store for thee, Listen! The next
senator from South Carolina will be
the candidate who had the least idea
of being elected. I have spoken.
Away !"
For a second there was silence |;
deep, heavy, oppressive silence. Then,
with sigh of unutterable relief, John
of Evans cried: "I'm the man, I'm
the man for so help me God, I had so
little hope of being I just did file my
pledge in time to make the race"
"Well, I'm afraid you are wrong,
nv dear boy" said John of Irby, with
a facetious grin. "I'm dead sure for
the senate, because I entered the race
not with any idea of being elected,
but to keep Mac from grabbing the
prize. Now don't say colonel any
more, call me SENATOR" and John of
Irby chuckled with glee.
at amuses me to hear you fellows
talk" said John of Duncan, with q
smile. "When I filed my pledge there
was no idea more remote from my
mind than that of being elected. 1
am not a candidate in the true sense
of the term, but the Nemesis of my
gifted young friend, John of Evans.
My sole purpose was to compass his
defeat by narrating from stump to
stump what he is pleased to call ancient
history. Senator Duncan-ahem-
sound sail right"
"He that expecteth nothing shall not
be disappointed" began John of Nc
Laurin in solemn tones.
II wonder what devilment he's got
fixed up now," muttered John OF
Irby, suspiciously.
"My dear friends" continued John
of McLaurin," shaking with laughter,
"by your own statements you will be
overwhelmingly defeated. The idea
Oracle said the man who had least of
being elected would be the lucky one.
All of you confess to having entered
the race with little hope of success,
but forgetting that the Oracle's decree
must necessarily hold good until the
votes are counted, every man of you
has predicted his own election. You
might be in it if the Oracle had said
that the man who has now the least
idea of being elected will be our next
senator. You should have remained
hopeless of success until the votes had
been counted. The next senator from
South Carolina will be the man who
had least idea of being elected so
says the Oracle. Now, where are you
at ?"
CONSERVATION o'er spread the coun-
tenances of the three Johns who had
spoken too quickly. They realized
bitterly how neatly they had been
trapped. Suddenly an expression of
cunning illumined the face of John of
Evans. "Well, Mac" he said, with a
pitiful attempt at jocularity, "since we
have been so effectively squelched, l
suppose nothing remains but to con-
gratulate you on your coming elec-
tion."
John of McLaurin raised his head
and gazed squarely at John of Evans:
"Do you see any emerald in my optics"
he queried. "No, no, my dear friends,
if you have any congratulations to
offer 20 to Mayfeld." exit of John
of Irby shrieking "combine," followed
by John of Evans, dumb with rage,
and John of Duncan gaily whistling
the "Rogue's March.m.
]. A. SULLIVAN.
Anderson, S. c.
AN INDEPENDENT LAWYER. - A
LAWYER, with his client, called one day