The Wadsworth dispatch. [volume] (Wadsworth, Nev.) 1892-1899, 1897-12-18
FAX"

Warren Golding wants one more dog.
"Please remit" is the most frequently
used expression of the day.
When you have money to spend send
it away, by so doing you help the town,
in a back action manner, OF course.
Should some local fisherman hook a
set of brains in the river it will make
| him swear off during the close season.
The editor of the DISPATCH had been
an invalid for a few days when DIR.
Kistler hustled in one morning and
wanted to know how we felt. We
couldn't speak so We wrote: "Have
been unable to drink" "Great Scott
exclaimed the doctor, "a Nevada news
paper man without a drink for three
days, it's a wonder you didn't die. III
soon fix you" So he went to his office
and came back with his little Ratchet,
or something like that, and said: "Open
your mouth" Just then Jeff Poole
came in and remarked doctor, while
| you're cutting his throat make a good
job of it," Its just trifing ~pleasantries
a man has TO endure-when he's ar in
valid. We are watching for jeff to
catch it. He won't have any neck left.
One of our incest young men goes to
see his girl pretty regularly, and that is
expensive this season OF no daylight and
lots of cold weather. So her dad had to
break the combination or go broke. He
puzzled over it a week and was struck
with an idea. When the lovers cart
came again he went in the Silly night
and taking off n of the wheels re-
| placed it by another much smaller and
| hied himself to bed. When the lover
had told her "Good might" for the nth
| time he climbed into the cart and
| started for home. He drove and drove.
He thought it was a pretty long drive
and became anxious as the time sped
and was surprised at last to find himself
at daylight just where he had started
from. And he looked aroundand finally
| fell to the little wheel. The dad figures
he is ahead one daughter, two cans OF
| coal oil and three cords of wood.
Sheriff McInnis strolled into the
smoking car at Reno Wednesday morn
ing OH his way down here and took a
seat just ahead Of a squaw Of Captain
| Charles named Sour Dough Jen. He
was putting vigorously at u cigar and the
Indian woman got more of the smoke
than she liked. See protested in panto-
mime to Conductor Chase, who, loyinga
joke himself, indicated that she should
make use of q "slim jim" trout she had
by bringing it down or W. HIS head.
She naturally presumed that the con
ductor's authority was all-suficient, and
forthwith acted on his suggestion with
native vigor. Mes hat was knocked
down over his eyes and all but ruined,
and the cigar was sent spinning galley
west. When he got out OF his hat he
turned with not inexplicable ferocity
upon his assa;lant, but Jen merely
looked at him with aboriginal immo,
bility OF ~countenance and wouldn't un-
derstand either English or sign language,
while the other passengers were on
vulsed with merriment. Chase saved
the squaw by cornering the sheriff and
irving to pacify him.
John Day can put this receipt in a
glass case and feel thankful. Sticking
to the sagebrush, greasewood and the
natives in Melhuer county is a species Of
exodus albipictus, and by people in
hurry called woodticks, says the Vale,
Oregon, Advocate. They are dipterious
with steel traps on their feet and a dia.
mond drill apparatus attached to each
palpas. They sometimes feed on dogs
but prefer boys, stable keepers and Other
tender people. They are wingless but
can jump eight hundred feet, and wher
they get beneath your pajamas the dam
age they do is not so much in what the.
eat as what they tramp down. A Woo
tick is not so large as a bull dog, but i
is more to be dreaded than a book worn
or a Spanish fly. Some people wher
they find an exodus albipictus stickin,
to them take the bullet moulds anC
rutblessly tear away what there is il
sight, but this is not the correct way t.
do, as it leaves the man-dibbles still II
your company, and a sore that will no
quit itching for nine years. The onl.
proper thing when you get a wood ticl