The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-11-03
A QUEER NEWSPAPER
THE OSTRICH OF CORNWALL AND ITS
ECCENTRIC PUBLISHER.

A Journal That Exists In Optimism and |
Devotion to n Roseate Cause.-The Paper !
Gratuitously Distributed, but 1t and tho |
Editor Are Sustained by Donations.
In the heart of Cornwall there is pub
iished and read newspaper perhaps the
most peculiar in all the,world. This is
The Ostrich, and if the news of the day,
Its murders, crimes and sensations should
shock you or offend your nervous system
The Ostrich is the very paper for you to
read
To begin with, this singular Cornish
journal is printed on n delightful pale
rose colored paper. 1t has great and ever
gaining circulation. Throughout Corn
wall you see it everywhere From Plym-
outh to Lands End genial old squires
and parsons, merry eyed maids specialized
elderly ladies, young bloods in cricket
1lannels or hunting breeches, farmers,
fishermen and laborers may be seen peace
fully perusing these rose hued pages. And
every one can see that the faces of Ostrich
readers possess a settled look of placidity,
just as if nothing in the world could dis
turb them.
"Yes, said the proprietor of Penzance
hotel, 1.-THE Ostrich is a wonderful paper.
1t settles the nerves and brings back
health and happiness. All people coming
from the large towns seeking rest should
read it. 1t is boon for the nervous.
One opens The Ostrich, and the first
thing noticeable is that certain words in
the text are printed in large, heavy type;
words like happy, good z, saved, success
health, peace, beautiful, amiable-all the
pages are crowded with them, so that they
give the impression of being kind of OPP
timist chart, pointing out all that is good
and beautiful on the earth. Short sighted
people, holding the newspaper at a yards
distance, will only be able to see these
agreeable words, and besides this, in the
| ordinary text, all words like DEATH mis-
| fortune, sickness, pain are carefully avoid
ed. In the entire paper, one column ex-
| cepted, not disagreeable word is printed.
The system of the publisher is based on
the science of suggestiveness. AS most
people are easily influenced, the perusal Of
a page of this rose colored paper, with its
hundreds of pleasant words, may readily
bring the reader to "A state of mind in
which he begins distinctly to see the world
! through rose colored glasses
The paper is appropriately called The
| Ostrich. A little picture in the middle of
| the heading represents this famous bird
burying its head in the sand and appar-
emily feeling well content in doing so.
The motto of the paper is EVEN of Truth
One-half Is Falsehood. This paper sums
up all that has happened in the world
twice weekly-in not more than six col
umns-politics, elections, accidents, art
and literature. Everything is treated by
The Ostrich in these columns from his
special viewpoint.
The first column bears the title, "What
Would S. II. ID. Say to It?" 5. ii. ID.
stands for Sir Humphry Davy, who was
born in PenZance and has monument
there. This great Christian and chem
ist," as The Ostrich calls him, the in
ventor of the safety lamp, is the model OF
all human beings, the yardstick will
which everything is measured. In this
column one finds all sorts of news, anc
every item with a commentary. For in
stance: "At n banquet at Birmingham
Lord Salisbury declared that the situation
of the Armenians was indeed such as de
! manded serious consideration Is. III. ID
would say: THE consideration only be
comes serious by Lord Salisbury's calling
1t so. There may be less in the matte
than one would expectO" Or, 1.-The potat'
beetle is again making himself nuisanc
on our coast mot in Normandy, for Their
they have no potato harvest ut all thi
year, 5. III. D..
The second column is called 1.-The De
mented of Tomorrow. In it all impor
tant political news Is commented upon ant
corrected, for the motto OF the paper ]
"Even of Truth One-half Is Falsehood,
and most of the corrections of The Ostric
are sound. Besides, if he makes mis-
take, it does not matter. His aim
reached Mt all events, for news that bear
the heading "Demented" is doubted an
has lost its exciting quality.
Still more important is the third co
umn, "How Does This Concern Mey" L
it one finds the greatest wisdom OF In
Ostrich. 1t contains all the news fror
foreign countries, and the reader genera
" sympathizes in unconcern with the put
Usher, for what is it to him whether Pres
ident Morales or Immorales reigns on tn
La Plata river or whether Stambulon ha
been sentenced by unjust judges or jus
assassins, or vice versa? That should a
be of no consequence to him If he cares IL
his nerves
| The other columns are called "Nothin
Is Eaten as Hot as -" And III 30!
and "We Do Not Believe In 1t.
This laSU one Is very iihpoieahV, oS
{ contains all terrible accidents, shipwreck
| earthquakes, famine and so forth. III
I | Ostrich does not believe in such things
D The man who has invented this peculif
! | newspaper is John ellis. For sewers
years he was a schoolteacher, publishe
some pamphlets, and then became jou
nalist. He studied the people OF Londo
, and Bristol and gradually formed b
3 opinion of what would be appropriate II
their health, doing it from purely humal
] itarian principles, for he Is now Graz
' enough to distribute his paper gratuitou
4 ". The hotel keepers and other interestt
+. readers pay him whatever they like for
, His subscribers have built him beautif'
l little cottage on Tilcotts Head, all owe
, grown with red fuchsias and with windo
panes shining like the lanterns of a beacon
1t Is called 1.-THE Ostrich cottage"
Among the subscribers are Gladston
the Princess of Teck and Sir Arthur Su
{ Ivan.
With one assistant Mr.. ellis makes I
|. the whole paper. He is familiar fgu
all through Cornwall, is well liked, al
, has his lodging and board everywhere FIRE
r. .l..tt Ixr q IN