Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1897-05-15
A MAN OF APPETITE.
AN AWFUL ORDEAL FOR A OVSPEP-
TIC LITTLE LAWYER
MAJ

Went Into the Restaurants just to Have
a Few Oysters-0Iot Mr.. Crump. tho
Brewer. who Was launching Little
Before Going Home 10 supper.
There used 20 lie famous place Dor
these things down IN Atlanta. re-
marked the pOrtly gentleman as no eau
tiOusly eyed the Welsh rabbit and sip
ped his musty ale.
why, don't these suit your" asked
the man who had never travelled
"Oh. yes. fine. but was just think
ing Of a little incident that occurred /
there.
A story, Is itl Well. let's have IT d"
Its not much of a story, but 1 Will |
tell it the best can. You see, the place |
l spoke OF was kept by a man named |
Beirmister and was not only famous
for its Welsh rabbits, but for its oysters
and hard crabs as we'll Delicious they
were too.
"There was dyspeptic little lawyer
around town, sharp aud Shrewd. but
martyr to the stomach. He used to go
around with the boys until some ono
would suggest going over TO Beirmister's
and getting some crabs and beer; then
you could count the lawyer out The
boys would try to persuade him by
telling him how delightful were the
crabs, how succulent the oysters, but
the lawyer would flee from them In ter
ror at the thought
About 8 o'clock one fine afternoon
in the early spring a friend and myself
were journeying toward Beirmister's
when we met the dyspeptic lawyer. As
usual, he stopped Us for a little chat,
and we walked down the street together
In a few moments we We're in front of
Beirmister's, and my friend, taking a
different tack, persuaded the little law
yer TO enter with us ON the plea that
we would find no one In at this time of
day and that we were only going to eat
few oysters
"Gnce inside. we found the place
crowded. The seats at the tables Were
all occupied, except at one table, over
in a far corner Of the room, at which
there were three vacant chairs, the
fourth being occupied by fat German
brewer named Grump. We knew Grump,
and so went to this table introduced
the lawyer-Blakely. believe his name
was-to the brewer and ordered beer
for the crowd The lawyer protested. so
we left hirh out
mr.. Grump. remarked. we are
about to have a few oysters. Won't you
join us?'
"'Vell, you see. have alretty some
ting ordered
'~Oh, that's all right, insisted "A
few oysters will give you an appetite.
4" Is dot sol Yah, take me a few
chust Won leetle dozen
My friend had been engaged in an
earnest conversation with the lawyer
while 1 was talking to the jolly old
German, and when the waiter came
with the beers he told him TO bring
some crabs. az dozen oysters on the
shell and glass of hot water. he had
persuaded Blakely TO try some oysters
"At Betrmister's when an order was
given for crabs they invariably brought
a dozen, and you paid for as many as
you consumed out Of that number. Tho
waiter soon returned with oysters. craht
and hot water. IN the meantime Grump,
who was "a great tallzer, had struck up g
conversation with the lawyer, and they
| were cracking jokes at great rate
: "Blakely's courage fell when the oys
tiers were placed before him. He man
: fully drank the hot water and com
8 menced to initiate Grump's heroic styl
+ of eating oysters. He managed to dow
two and then laid his fork gently b,
his plate and fastened his eyes o.
Grump. With the aid of few glassful
Of beer tho brewers oysters had van
ished. Ny friend had managed to &c
!. away with two crabs and insisted tina
q Grump help him dispose of the nc
mainder. 1 was still busy with m
II dozen oysters.
q "'Ven, / help you some, said GrumI
b and picking up n knife ne went at thcs
e crabs like a darby shocking OYSTER
y The dyspeptio watched him as If Ease
u mated and remarked in sneering ton
r" that came straight from the stomach:
N "'You have n good appetite. Nj
~ Grump.'
he "'Yah, think pretty goot. and
B. actively went for another crab I'll
to dish was cleared in a few moments, ar
al made a mental note that Grump hi
L eaten nine crabs, a dozen large oyster
81 and drank ten glasses Of beer. When Il
i. crabs We're no more. Grump called to
: waiter:
If Here, FRANC, am waiting.
er Franz disappeared, and In a fe
ed moments brought In a large Welsh IA
u bit and deposited it before Grump-
hit could see the little lawyer shrink FRO
st the odor waited across the table, but
90 was game and would have staid at tn
= table until he died Grump insisted tn
:. we share the dish with him. but {
an hands refused.
he with apparent relish and fire
Int glass of beer he attacked the rabbi
4 a and in an incredibly short time the di
was clear Of the least particle. Cruz
AIN wiped his mouth, folded his napki
lgs and called for another round OF bee
'Ks If l had not had reputation to SGstai
would have refused, but as 1t was
nts drained the glasses.
he Now. must home be going.
nat marked Grump, rising.
What's your hurryS' asked the d.
of peptic lawyer In his most sarcastic ton
on DO stay and have something else.
VII "'Nein. I must to mein supper 6
mo answered the German
leu 1.-The dyspeptic wilted- Now, If }
are looking for a fight, just tell that
tie lawyer that 0rump wants him
eat supper with him. You'll get
= quick and strong Washington Pt
ay, --
ded De Quincy, who devoted his life
pie the reading OF books, said that the gre