The Weiser signal. [volume] (Weiser, Idaho) 1890-1904, 1897-07-29


his ewes. If four years had taught me
ro,hino else. it had taught me some
o,ount of sclf-control; | could SPEAK III
stoodv tones. glance at him with CAIN
unfaltering glances, though my hear'
was sick and sore and aching
II am sorry you are going saiu'
steadily, in the regretfu tone IN "hion
n friend NAV speak; ''sorry Tor our
salscs But for your sake am glad. IL
will be such a splendid opportunity,
lie did not answer me. lie rose run
his scat and walked to the door. AFTER
n minute | rose, too. Standing Ill Vhe
doorwav. leaning against the creeper-
covered framework. We faced each other
.That was not what cane to say
he observed at last
"You'rc not golng?'
"Whcthcr go or stay, Nab, depends
on vou,- he replied slowly, looking down
at me.
NV Wanted selfpossession deserteu
me a little then; | was conscious that
wave of color swept into my face; my
glance fell. I was angry with myself
for the blush: with al effort raised my
eyes and looked at,him again.
"You want my advice. You must tell
me all about the proposed expedition
lirst scarcely understand well enough
to advi YOU
IL don't want You to advise me-
lie looked down at me steadily.
"Mab, you know what ! want-you
know as well as do. have tried again
and again TO speak TO you you Know
that, too. You have always prevented
me. But now must speak. | love you.
Nab: il yon will give me any hope, J
will stay in England, but If motif !
am no use here if there is no hope for
mel may as we'll 20.
There was note of deep feeling in
his voice that set my heart heating mad
ly, ioyfully But next moment | was
reasoning with my unreasonable happi-
ness. bitterly smiling it,
You do not believe in my love- he
continued, in his quiet, steady tone. 81
have felt your incredulity. But you
must believe. Nab
II do believe" returned. | believed
that he loved me, but | believed, too.
that his love was based on pity. | be-
lieved that it wasa forced growth. which
he had carefully fosrercd, and which. if
the care and encouragement which he
had bestowed on it were withdrawn.
would die an easy and natural death.
-Four years ago he had learnt that |
cared for him; the thought of my unre-
Quilted love had panied him constantly;
he had been very sorry for me, very
grateful to me; he had longed and
striyen to pay the debt of affection
which, unasked, had bestowed And
his heart had answered the demand he
made upon it. He loved me. ! had
watched his love grow, read it in the
softer chances which nowadays he gave
me, heard it in tho gentler, less mas
terful tones with which he spoke to me.
But such love was humiliating- more
humiliating than his Indifference had
been. He loved me, not inevitably, but
of deliberate, anxious desire.
81 do believe" said. Il think you
love me-but think, too, that if you
try you will forget me-
'Mab, you arc crucl.' he exclaimed
in quiet voice. but reproachfully.
lie made no further protest, no
stronger denial. Protests were not
much in Ncd's way, but chose to ig-
moro that truth. In my pride and bit
tcrncss chose to tell myself that he
knew bo would if he tried forget. Love
which is based on gratitude and pity
will die an easy death when the basis
OF gratitude and pityhas been withdrawn.
You think m" tickle. Nab. Perhaps
] deserve your judgments; have proved
tickle once. | shall not change again. |
think"
He qualified his assertion by ~
think" for Ncd's statements werc al
ways tcmpcratc-but there was little
doubt expressed in his voice and glance.
lie came step nearer me and took nv
hands in his and looked down into nv
eyes In spite of myself, | let my soul
for one long blissful moment drink it's
ill of happiness. My heart danced: nv
head was light with intoxicating low.
Then rcsolutcli struggled away from
the love that tempted me; again called
pri g to my all.
Med, tell me one thing. Will Won
answer one qucstion-truthfully?"
las many questions as you like
truthfully, you may be sure"
DID you love me at first because Won
thought that loved YOU"
AT first, perhaps so. am not sure.
The beginning of my love dates a long
way back
drew my hands from his. and nut
them tightly together behind me.
"Ned-latcly-" asked-"what have
you thought? Have you fancied I still
cared for you?''
He besitatel for a moment. rhon.
YES" he answered, truthfully. ~ have
thought so. You have often bocn cold
10 me- and sometimes little cruel; but
| believe in your heart you love me;
have read your love in a thousand
ways"
on have been mistaken" | returned
You have read what doesn't
exist"
nc was silent for few moments space
GU do not love me, Mab?" ho asked
In "a gricvcd tone through which a thread
OF surprise ran. That note of SURPRISE
oraceu my pride, which his sorrow
would have otherwise softened. "You
used to love mel"
why should be more constant than
YOU? ! was child-no more Than
'hild. Why will you always rrmomhcr
Ihat childish folly against mo? Ono
ou,grows ones childish loves and hates"
is that my answer, Mab?"
"Ycs"
turned away from tho door Of the
'ummcr-honsc; went slowly u little
way along the garden path. lie followca
ho9 VIII very quickly forges mo.
Ned sail; and topped hastily in
lmc to check \ sob that rose.
we need not discuss that Question -
he replied. '''o"'
'ln year or two Won viii bo