Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-10-07

lsaacs-H Hat cigar, Cohen" Cohen
Watts der madder nit itY'-Truth.
1 Clerk-"IOu say you will take this
hammock, miss" She-"Yes, but
want two of them" Clerk-"very WELL
madam.
/ A stumbling-block: What is the OBJ
lection of the politicians to the civil
service reform SYSTEM" The exam
ination questions. Truth.
/ Clergyman-"My boy, do you know
It's wicked to fish on the Sabbath?'
1oungster-"I isn't fshing I'm teach
Ing this ere wurm to swim. m."-Tit- Bits
/ Benedict proudlyl-"NTv wifo kisses
me good night regularly" Rounder
Obitterly)-"Women are suspicious crea-
lures, amt they"-BoSton Herald.
First Boarder-"I wonder the land
lady let's him stay; everybody can see
that he drinks Second Boarder-
Yes; but he never has any appetite in
the morning. Punch.
Cook ito policeman)-"How neatly
you carve that goose"' with a sudden
outbulst of jealousy You have de-
ceived me. | am not your first love"
-Fliegende Blatter.
why, George, you haven't smoked
any OF those cigars | gave you for a
birthday present. NO, dear. l
couldn't find it in my heart to burn any
thing you gave me."-.Iugend.
/ Ieast-"That man Doughton is very
skeptical. Unless he sees a thing, he
won't believe it exists" Crimsonbeak
He never ran into rocking chair in
the dark, then|-Yonkers Stateman.
What do you regard as the most i'm
portant event of the century," asked
the philosopher. We'll" answered the
wheelman 'the finish is about as salts
factory as any part Of the un.'-Truth.
Tibbs-"She is not only fine-looking
girl, but they say she has fifty thousand
pounds in her own right" Nibbs-
What would you do if you had wife
like that" Squibbs-"Nothing."-
Judy.
81 said the pompous actor, was
once where the shells fell so thick and
! fast that to escape them was impossi-
ble." And you are alive to tell it,
"Oh, yes. The shells were loaded with
/ egg Detroit Free Press.
/ Farmer Summerboard ito his SOM
"Enoch. guess it's about time to prune
them vines" Miss Citigirl tone of the
boarders)-"Oh. do you raise your own
prunes? | thought you bought Them at
the grocery"-Puck,
'They say, Grumpy, that the Queen
Of England has sixty pianos, and does
MT play any of them" I'm little bit
cramped this spring, but I'll buy my
daughter fifty-nine more If she'll follow
the queens example. e."-IIousehold
Words.
Mr.. rabenthal-"Little Ikey has
ruined dot typewriter got him for his
birthday" Mrs. Grabenthal-"Vot has
he done with the beautiful type
writer% Mr.. Grabenthal-"He has got
der dollar-mark worm oudt already"-
Truth.
Actress (whO thinks Of having her
diamonds stolen for the sake of the ad-
vertiscment)-"Has any one ever been
robbed at this hotelT' Guest (summer
hotelD-"None of my friends have. We
all took the precaution to settle about
rates before we came."-New York
Weekly.
Did | understand you to say that
YOU didn't have any company in the
kitchen while was out, Katie" "Yis,
mum: that's what said" But smell
the tobacco from pipe all through the
house" "Yis. mum: the policeman was
I'm for half an hour, mum. but we were
In the parlor "-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Cobwigger-'I've been reading
nm article entitled VIII the New Wo-
man Smoker What do you think, my
dear? Cobwigger-"If she does she'll
soon die out" Mrs. Cobwigger-"How
SOP Cobwigger-"Because she'll buy
bargain counter cigars at 40 cents
box."-New York Journal.
"What would you do IL turned you
DOWN. she shyly asked, as they sat on
the sofa. The young man looked
straight ahead, but said nothing. After
n silence lasting about a minute and a
half she nudged him with her elbow and
said, "Didn't you hear my question:
He looked around, alarmed. 81 beg
your pardon he replied; Il thought
YOU we're addressing the gas. Puck
Last night" said the Pessimist, Il
went all over this town trying to hnd
person who seemed to be enjoying him
self" "How many did you findT
mot one" said the Pessimist gloomily
20 "a