The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1897-01-29
THE DISADVANTAGE OF
SEEKING OFFICE HERE
(By Major Nose Handy

During TIL next sixty days the newspapers
can do no better work than to preach ser.
mons, enforced by examples, against the
vanity and vexation Of place-hunting. tits
an old and well worn theme, know butso
is every other vice to which man is addicted.
Young man, go West, if you please; go
where else you will, but as you value your
peace of mind, cherish ambition and look
forward TO eomfortin your advanced years,
keep away from Washington. Everybody
knows the story of the man who applied to
President Jackson at the beginning OF his
administration for a foreignmission andwas
finally glad to accept suit of cast-off
clothes. Hoytin his Texas Steer" exploits
the same idea with equal humor andpathos
In the character of the darby who went to
the National Capital hot foot after the mis-
sion to Dahomey as the reward OF his poiit-
fcai services, and ended by jumping at the
job OF enptying waste baskets and spit
toons. There is very little exaggeraioD In
either story. When the office-seeking mi
erobe once taste ms itself in the system il is
next TO impossible to eradicate it, and ac-
tual office-h olding only intensifies the
malady.
Washington Is full of eXes of high andlow
degree. EXSenators, eX-Representatives
eX-governOrs, eX- Commissioners, ex- judges,
eN-nnnisters, eX-consuls, tllrong the hotels,
infest the rotunda of the Capitol and depart
ments, and, SO long as they can pay their
footing, aboundin tie clubs. AS to the eX-
clerks-pOor fellows-their name is legion.
What a struggle they all make so long as
they have strength for effort to keep up
appearances To what eXtrcnities are they
reduced to make pittance TO buy their
daily bread. They drop from one place to
another, trade on their acquaintance with
public men or OF Congressional or depart
mental methods, and many a poor devil,
with competition so rife, holds on by his
teeth, living, God only knows how, getting
seedier every day and running the whole
gamut from fashionable hotel to sOutf-side
boarding house, becoming at last an object
of charity and pointing his own moral that
politics is the veriest jade OF all the mis-
tresses that bring men to want.
Toilng away in the baser1enL or TIE Capt
toll, addressing envelopes, trundling trucks
OF documents or attending the doors of
committee rooms, are or have been men
who have worn the shoulder straps OF
brigadier generals in the civil war. Many n
Congressman has made a clerk Of the poll
tician who was his unsuccessful competi-
tor for the honor. Sometimes It happens
that the clerk is the brainicr OF the two,
although, perhaps. not so gifted IN speech,
fat OF purse or pliable in conscience The
pay rolls of the executive and legislative
departments OF the government are full OF
county and ward heelers and party organ
iZers who serve in most humble capacities
and have Their reward in being supposed by
the people at home TO be important pubic
functionares Southerners seem TO be par
ticularly amenable To the seductions OF this
delusive farce. A country editor leaves his
tripod, IL editors ever have such things,
or. to be more accurate. his independent pO-
sition as a molder of local public opinion,
TO go To Washington TO be rated Is Ia
borer In onei case thas | know Of bright
newspaper man, since distinguished and
successful, was for years carried on the
rolls of the Senate as a hOrseshoer, al
though he never, shod a horse in his life
and probably never saw the inside OF a
smithy OF handled a piece of red-hot iron.
His case was exceptional only in that he
saw the error of his ways and returned TO
his own trade on the strength theprecious
use of his opportunities as an observer or
what was going on around him