New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-06-23
IA MAN OF APPETITE,
AN AWFUL ORDEAL FOR a DYSPEP-
TIC LITTLE LAWYER.

AN AWFUL ORDEAL FOR A DYsPEP-
TIC LITTLE LAWYER.
Went Into the Restaurant just to Have
Few Oysters-Met MI. Grump. the
Before Going Home to Supper.
"There used to be famous place for
these things down in Atlanta" re-
marked the portly gentleman as he eau
tiously eyed the Welsh rabbit and sip
ped his musty ale.
"Why, don't these suit you2'' asked
the man who had never travelled.
"Oh, yes, fine, but was just think
ing of little incident that occurred
there" .r 5
IA story, is it? Well, let's have it. =
"It's not much of story, but will
tell it the best can. Yon see, the place
I spoke Of was kept by man named
Beirmister and was not only famous
for it's Welsh rabbits, but for it's oysters
and hard crabs as we'll. Delicious they
were too.
There was dyspeptic little lawyer
around town, sharp and shrewd, but q
martyr to the stomach. He used to 70
around with the boys until some one
would suggest going over to Beirmister's
and getting some crabs and beer; then
you could count the lawyer out. The
boys would try to persuade him by
telling him how delightful were the
crabs, how succulent the oysters, but
the lawyer would fee from them in ter
ror at the thought. '@
"Abont 5 o'clock one fine afternoon
in the early spring friend and myself
were journeying toward Beirmister's
when we met the dyspeptic lawyer. AS
usual, he stopped us for little chat,
and we walked down the street together.
In few moments we were in front of
Beirmister's, and my friend, taking q
different tack, persuaded the little law
yer to enter with us on the plea that
we would find no one in at this time of
day and that we were only going to eat
few oysters. "
"Once inside, we found the place
crowded. The seats at the tables were
all occupied, except at one table, over
in far corner Of the room, at which
there were three vacant chairs, the
fourth being occupied by fat German
brewer named Grump. We knew Grump,
and SO went to this table. introduced
the lawyer-Blakely. believe his name
was-to the brewer and ordered beer
for the crowd. The lawyer protested, SO
we left him out. ~,
"'Mr. Grump. I remarked, I'VE are
about to have few oysters. Won't you
join us?'
"'Vell, you see, have alretty some
ting ordered ..
"'Oh, that's all right, insisted. "A
few oysters will give you an appetite.
is dot so? Yah, take me few
chust Won leetle Dozen
MY friend had been engaged in an
earnest conversation with the lawyer
while was talking to the jolly old
German, and when the waiter came
with the beers he told him to bring
some crabs, ~ dozen oysters on the
shell and a glass Of hot water. He had
persuaded Blakely to try some oysters:
"At Beirmister's when an order was
given for crabs they invariably brought
a dozen, and you paid for as many as
you consumed out of, that number. The
waiter soon returned with oysters, crabs
and hot water. In the meantime Grump,
who was great talker, had struck up
conversation with the lawyer, and they
were cracking jokes at great rate. 4
"Blakely's courage fell when the oys-
tiers were placed before him. He man
fully drank the hot water and COM
menced to initiate Grump's heroic style
of eating oysters. He managed to down
two and then laid his fork gently by
his plate and fastened his eyes on
Grump. With the aid Of few glassfuls
of beer the brewers oysters had van
ished. My friend had managed to get
away with two crabs and insisted that
Grump help him dispose of the re-
mainder. was still busy with my
dozen oysters. g.. .-.. ...'#.s
We'll, I help you some, said Grump,
and picking up knife he went at those
crabs like darby shocking oysters.
The dyspeptic watched him as if fasci-:
mated and remarked in sneering tone
that came straight from the stomach:
"'You have good appetite, Mr..
Grump.'
Yah, t'ink pretty goot, and he
actively went for another crab. Tbs
dish was cleared in few moments, and
I made mental note that Grump had
eaten nine crabs, dozen large oysters,
T. II, :, ~.
crabs were no more, Grump called to a
waiter:
Here, Franz, am waiting
Franz, disappeared, and in few
moments brought in large Welsh rab
bit and deposited it before Grump. !
could see the little lawyer shrink from
the odor waited across the table, but he
was game and would have staid at that
table until he died. Grump insisted that
we share the dish with him, but ali