The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-01-20
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

and near neighbOrs.
= Londons s population increases
about 10000 every year.
- There are more wrecks in the
Baltic sea than in any other place in
the world. The average is one wreck
a day throughout the year.
= Teddy 81 tell you it's so. Mel
lie: 81 say it is not. Teddy: "Well,
mamma says it's so; and if mamma
says it's so even if it isn't so.
- Alfred Nelson, Swedish mil
lionairc, gave the most magnificent
Christmas gift on record. He gave
the University of Stockholm 81, l,0OO,
900.
- Ebbs "Who shall decide when
doctors disagree 2 asks the poet.
Tcbbs "Oh, the undertaken usually
comes in and burics the bone of con-
tention."
=" "Ah, me, my heart is full !!
sighed the girl who had been taking
advantage of her leap year privilege
until she found herself engaged to
five men.
i have somewhere seen it observ"
ed that we should make the same use
Of book that the bee does of a flower;
she steals sweets from it but does not
injurc it..-Colton.
= At the recent election in Wyo-
ming the women cast 7,122 of the 21,-
797 votes polled, or less than 80 per
cent. Only about 10 per cent. Of the
eligible women voted.
- A caterpillar in the course Of one
month will dcvour 5000 times it's
weight in food. 1t takes man nearly
three months to eat quantity Of food
equal to his OWE weight.
= Good nature and evcnness of
temper will give you an easy companion.
for life: virtue and good sense an
agreeable friend: love and constancy,
a good wife or husban and.-tSpectator
= A good deed is never lost He
VINO sows courtesy reaps friendship,
and he who plants kindness gathers
love. Pleasure bestowed upon a
grateful mind was never sterile
Basil.
= Suitor Ito rich widow: "Ah, my
adored one, do but accept me and you
will make me one of the happiest
mortals on earth. And not only me,
but" Widow (interrupting): "Your
creditors, also"
= The superintendent of public
grounds at the national Capitol reports
that 1,315, ,476 persons have assembled
the Washington monument since it
was opened to the public eight years
ago, in October, 1888.
ooh, no There ain any favor
ties ir this family y soliloquized
Johnny; ooh, no If I bite my finger
nails | catch it over the knuckles;
but the baby can eat his whole foot
and they think it's clever"
= The period of generation"
has been heightened. 1t used to be
30 years, and later increased to 81.
Now a scientist says the average term
of human life has increased in the last
80 years from 32 70 AZ years.
= "The essential difference between
the man and the woman" said the
Cheerful Idiot, is one Of wear and
tear" 'Eh p said the new boarder.
eyes. Man espcnds his money fool
ishly on tear and woman on wear"
-" Gone of the hardest things in
making Speech said the old cam
paigncr, ';is to say just what you
mean eyes, vas the reply; that's
pretty hard. But once in while it is
a good deal harder to mean just what
you say"
= II hardly think" said the lawyer,
"that you can get a separation from
your wife on account Of her making a
practice of throwing things at the
dog" "But. said the man with the
haggard look and the black eye, "every
time she throws at the dog she hits
me -
= The Mothcr--Willie, J. am sorry
to learn that you ran your little wagon
over one of the boys next door, and
hurt him. 1T wasn't my fault. I
told him to get out of the way. My
wagon got United States Mail paint
ed on both sides of it, and it doesn't
have to stop for nobody"
= "What's your name q said the
new school teacher, addressing the
first boy on the bench. "Jule Simp-
SON" replied the lad. "Not julie
julius, said the teacher. And ad
dressing the next one, What is your
name ?" "Billious Simpson. guess.
And the new teacher had to rap for
order.
= "What makes you look so down
in de mouf p asked Uncle Nose of
Jim Webster. ''NIy wife done broke
anudder plate dis nawnin'." Oats
muffin. De plate don't cost yer more
den cr dime. Dat don't hurt much.
"Hit don't hurt Reckon yer don't
know dat hits my head she busts de
dishes on" eyes, dat's rough on de
crockery."
For pain in the chest piece Of
flannel dampened with Chamberlain's
Pain Balm and bound on over the seat
of the pain, and another on the back
between the shoulders, will afford
prompt relief This is especially
valuable in cases where the pain is
caused by cold and there is tendency
toward pneumonia For sale by Hill
Orr Drug Co.
A minister was questioning his
Sunday school concerning the story of
Eutychus, the young man who fell
asleep during the preaching Of the
Apostle Paul, and was taken up for
dead. "Now what, said he, "do We
learn from this solemn event ~ The
reply from little girl came out pat
and prompt: please, sir, ministers
should learn not to preach too lorg
sermons.
- Many merchants are we'll aware
that their customers are their best
friends and take pleasure in supplying
them with the best goods obtainable.
As an instance We mention Perry &
Cameron, prominent druggists Of
Flushing, Michigan. They say: 'We
have no hesitation in recommending
| rLn,Iorl,;n'. rnurb Romody to orr