Santa Fe daily New Mexican., 1897-04-24
SAILING IN THE SKY.
CALAMITY JACKSON DESCRlBESACOl-
LiSlON WITH A WHITE CYCLlST.

LlSiON WI n a VIII Z CrCllSI.
he Then Pays a Fine For scorching
Proper Dress For Winter Riding Broth
er Clayton's Patent Cold Annihilator .
Great Inyention-Ru Running Over Cows.
When the regular weekly meeting of tho
Thompson Street Bicycle club had been
opened in due form, President Toots an
nOuEced that all members of the club rid
ing out after the first snowstorm would
wear red wooden mittens as distinguish
ng badge While any kind of q hat or cap
night be worn he personally favored
atskin cap, with red or blue woolen ear
flaps. Catskin not only looked aristocratic
and jaunty, but was waterproof and warm
md would prevent any sort of hair oil from
reezing to the hair The attention of the
members was also called to Brother Clay
on's patent cold annihilator, invented
Expressly for the use of colored people rid
lng the bike in winter. The patent con-
lists of a jug of hot water attached to the
'teering post. From the mouth of the jug
adiate four small rubber tubes. Two of
heso are attached to the feet, third goes
lown tho back of the neck, and fourth is
oiled around the body. The hot water cir
ulates through the pipes and back to the
Jug, and a spirit lamp under the jug keeps
he water at the boiling point. The cost OF
he contrivance is only 50, and it is certain
to boom winter spins and make them a
thing Of joy. The jug can be painted red,
to1 1xvitb 1,n
scape or marine view. In case of coll-
sion with a street car or truck the hot
water from the broken jug shoots forward
md scalds everything in front.
Under the rules of the club any member
who cannot learn to ride the bike in four
months is liable to suspension as an active
member At this meeting communica-
tion was received from Brother Stepback
Thompson, asking foran extension of time
10 six months For four months he had
faithfully practiced every day in the week.
fhe first 30 days were spent in loss of con-
iciousness, coming to and wondering where
ne was at. During the next 80 he managed
70 get into the saddle twice He was now
lble, with the help of two boys and pea
nut man, to locate both pedals within five
minutes after getting on, and the wheel
showed disposition to keep in the road
instead of taking to the sidewalk. He was
sure lie would learn in time. If the eXten-
sion were granted, he would either be able
to zip along with the procession or be will
ing to give it up and stick to the razzle
dazzle. On motion of Brother Sarsaparilla
White the extension was granted and
vote of encouragement extended.
Brother Calamity jackson was present
to explain his absence from the last two
meetings and to ask that his fines there,
for be remitted. His right arm was in
sling, be limped on his left leg, and his
head was bandaged up until only one eye
and part of his chin could be seen. The
reason for his absence was a head on COLI
sion with a white man on another wheel.
As many of the club had often wondered
what would be the effect of two riders COM
ing together when going at a pace Of Is or
20 miles an hour, Brother Jackson's de-
scription was listened to with great inter.
est. He said:
II was a-gittin right along to git home
befO de thunder shower cum. was bent
over de handle bar, eyes on de ground an
dem pedals jest "a buzzin. Way off down
de street was white man on wheel, an
he was doin jest de same as me. He wasn't
lookin for coons an l wasn't lookin fur
white folks. De fust thing knowed we
cum together wild a crash, an jest thought
seven street kyars had bumped together.
Den we boat took fly Den we boat
yelled in chorus. Den we boat cum down
at de same time, an dc same ambulance
took boat of us to lie hospital. AS fur dem
wheels, it wasn't no use to pick up de
pieces 'cept to use fur tookpicks. can t
zactly tell you what de sensation was, but
my ha'r hain't got frew curlin yet an it
seems all de time as if was sailin around
up in de sky. De shrieks an yells an cuss
words of dat white man am still ringin in
my ears, an when close my eyes / kin
see wheels an spokes an pedals an pieces of
steel scattered all around me.
Brother Compromise Jordan said he had
been making some experiments with the
bike and was ready to report for the bene-
fit of the club. While riding in the suburbs
he had run over a COW lying in the road to
see what the effect would be from scien-
tific standpoint. His expectations were
fully realized. The COW rose up as the bike
hit her, and Brother Jordan and the bike
both rose likewise, ut the same time They
also came down together, but the COW gal
loped off. Brother Jordan thought he lay
unconscious for two long hours, but was
probably mistaken as to the length Of time.
1t cost him $5 to be patched up by a sur
geon, however, and the repair to his wheel
footed up about SO. Itwas his opinion that
mem bers Of, the club had better avoid COWS,
no matter whether standing up or lying
down.
He had heard members say that they
could jump their bikes over an open ditch
4 feet wide He had experimental with a
ditch only 2 feet wide. On approaching it
he had drawn in his breath and bumped up
his back, according to instructions, but in
stead Of the wheel jumping the ditch both
had gone into it, and for the next four
days he was wreck. 1t might be just
possible that bikist could jump ditch
and thus save dismounting, but his ad-
vice was against experiments in that direo-
tion also. He had heard it said by MEM
bers that wheelman could strike a fat
pedestrian while riding at a clip Of ten
miles an hour without other results than a
| gentle rebound. He wished to warn oil
| such members that they were sadly mis-
| taken. As an experiment he had selected
| fat colored woman carrying basket of
| laundry work, and there was nothing gen.
| tie in what followed. A clothesbasket, a
bike and a lean man were all heaped up
together in the street, and policeman
who thought 1t was dog fight sailed In
and dubbed the whole business
Brother Cantaloupe Harper explained his
| absence from the last meeting by saying
that he had been experimenting with an
invention Of his own to surprise dogs. He
| had invented an arrangement to be at.
tached to the front wheel of q bike which
picked up dog and dubbed him almost
to death, and then threw the pulverized
body Into the ditch. 1t had worked
splendidly on two or three dogs, when 1t
| nicl<ed I'm a habv carriapa and yHraGkad IL