Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1897-05-28
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I speak Germany" He-"Oh. it beats |
the Dutch. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Cynic--I can't see why n man who IL
happy when single should ever mar ,
ry. Eriend-Hc never dOes.-Puck.
''Has DIR. Nansen any social stand
ingy Dear me. yes. He moves In
the highest circles."-New York Sun.
He-You girls seem to be. awfully
fond of sweets. Shc-And you men
seem to be awfully fond Of sOurs.-Cor-
nell Widow.
Stern father--1 hear you we're out
gambling last night. Is 1t true: Gay
youth-No, sir; was ahead.--New
York Journal.
Beggar-Please, sir, I'm SO exhausted
can't get my breath and Gentle
man-Herc's five cents; so and buy
one.-Harlem Life.
MIR. New Hub What does 1t mean
when bride promises to obey? Mrs.
New Hub-Simply that she prefers not
to make scene.-Puck.
The doctor-It's twins, sir. Youn;
husband--l might have known it; it's
my wife's theory that two can live as
cheaply as one.-Tid-Bits
freddie is jealous of his preroga-
tives, isn't hep "What makes you
say so?" HE got angry the other night
and told me not to be II fo0l"-New
York Sun.
do you think Skinner can make n
living out there?' MAKE living!
Why, he'd make living on n rock In
the middle Of the Ocean-if there was
another man on the ."-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Spat-Your husband is an in
ventor, l believe? Mrs. SpOtter-Ycs.
Some Of his excuses for coming home
late at night are In use all over the
country. North Ameri-
can.
Wont you take this scat?" said the
gentleman in the cur, rising and lifting
his hat. mo, thank you," said he'girl
: with. the skates on her arm; 1--we been
skating, and I'm tired sitting down.
Yonkers Statesman.
IF didn't love my husband, I'd stab
ulIu " ut,uths CACAuthCO tuV Wssh
bloodet lady from New Orleans. II
wouldn't" said the Chicago woman;
I'D get divorce and stick him for
alimony."-Town Topics.
"And how did he die?" asked the lady
who had come West to inquire after
the husband she had lost. "Er-by re.
quest, ma'am," said the gentle COW.
boy, as mildly and regretfully us posi-.
ble.-lndianapolis Journal.
"Who Is that young woman near the
other end Of the table talking about
, correct taste In art!" (Which young
woman? There are several" 1.-The one
! with the wooden toOthpick In hcI
mouth. Chicago Tribune
do you see anything coming OuI
way:" asked the morning star OF
companion. Not YET was the reply
l "but see a servant below there wht
i. is about to light her kitchen fire will
kerosene" -YOnkcrs Statesman.
Its perfectly absurd. this clamol
about our hats. People who can't 80,
over them would better not 60 TO til,
:, theater." II know; that's what ! tolt
my husband, and he said. An right W,
: won't GO; and we don't."-Bazar.
Simonsby-I have chance to MARI!
two girls; one is pretty, but a mere but
terfiy, as it were, and the other, thougl
plain, is an excellent housekeeper
Mr.. Russell Of Chicago-Take the prct
), ty one first.--Indianapolis Journal.
How long have you been Oh thi
r route?" asked the drummer of tn
!. conductor on a primitive Southern
railroad. ''Ten ycahs. subj" 'lndeed
You must have gotten on several mile
south Of where I did."-Detr0it Ere
8 Press.
e He-"Now that our engagement
ended, l suppose we should retur
J. each others letters?" She-"I suppos
!. 80. And, George, while we are abou
+ II. why not return each others kisses !
u Engagement renewed on the spot
Boston Transcript.
A young student lately presentc
himself for examination and ignomir
- iously failed. To his family, anxiou
to hear of his success. he telegraphe
thus: DENOMINATION splendid: profe'
sors enthusiastic. They wish for SCI
ond in October Tit Bits.
:. He-"Do you remember when first W
:. met? The dew was on the grass. tt
mir was full Of summer scents, and
y, She-"Yes; and now there's no summe
!. no dew, no grass and no sense. by ii
way, have you heard of my engag
j, tY-Detroit Free Press.
m Ethel-"Oh, dear me! l don't kno
what to think! Algy asked me Ia
night II wouldn't like to have som
thing around the house that cou
10 love, and that would love me-" Edith
te "WeIly" Ethel-"Well, l don't kno
whether he means himself or wheth
n he is thinking Of buying me a dog!'
q. Puck.
q. Mrs. Yeast-"I wish could think
something to keep my husband mt hon
at nights" Mrs. Puncheon-"Get hi
N a bicycle" Mrs. Yeast-''That wou