Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-03-09
WANTED IT FIXED.
AWonan Whose Fountain Pen Didn't
Work-.The Reason Therefor.

| KNOWS, are always iuOIc ~ DCt 9Oiu5
than those Of a homely, unattrac-
tive, stupid-looking woman This
particular woman was rather pref
ty. Moreover, she was young, we'll
dressed and on the whole exceeding
ly attractive in appearance. She
bad come into town from one Of the
suburbs and was impatiently wait
ing for the clerk in stationery
store, and when he finally came to
wait upon her the cause of her dis
tress was apparent.
Her new fountain pen refused to
work, to let down ink She only
knew it wouldn't work, and she had
taken the first train to town to get
it fixed.
you see, madam" began the
salesman in explanation.
"See2 don't want to see any
thing. Now, for goodness sake,
don't try to explain anything to me.
l hate reasons. want pen | can
write with. Here am wasting my
time, to say nothing of the railway
fare, to come to town to see you, all
because this pen won't write.
don't know why, and l don't want
to know why. All I know is that it
Won't work. Now fix it up as soon
as you can so that can go and not
waste any more time. That's all !
ask you to do. "
"But, my dear, madam, began
the clerk once more, politely, didn't
you read the directions?"
Directions Directionsl | didn't
look to see if there were any direc-
tions. OF course, | didn't read them.
l didn't want to know how to keep
your pens in order. They are sup
posed to be all right when you sell
them l haven't asked you what
the matter is. | simply want you
to fix the pen. +"
The salesman looked it over and
said there was nothing the matter.
Then he filed it with ink and gave it
to her to write with.
SNow, that's funny. 1t wouldn' t
write for me- The next time it's
out of order I'll bring it right down
here again.
you see, the reason that you
can t."
"Reasonl Who asked for rea-
son? 1 told you l didn't want to
know the reason. II there is one
thing above another. that l despise
it's reasons. When my cook asked
me how / preferred the bread made,
whether | wanted it set at night or
the next morning, l told her |
didn't care how she set it or when,
whether she made it at midnight on
the dark side of the moon and
stirred it with rabbits paw
didn't care 50 long as she diIai
bother me--or whether she baked ii
from Sunday to Tuesday All ]
wanted was to have COOL bread.
Now, whatever you do, don't ex-
plain things to me- Then there
my doctor. He asked me if my dis
ease was. due to overwork. l told
him that didn't know; that was his
business. | didn't care whether it
was hereditary or incipient insanity.
Ali l wanted was to have him cure
me. Is the pen all right now2" she
asked as the salesman proceeded to
wrap it up
AS l started to explain, madam,
you will have to-"
''There you go again! l don't
want you to explain. What do you
think am, lnachiniot or an ez-
aminer Of patents? All I want is
that pen fixed so that | cen write
with it. Now if l had button on
the wall Of my room that | had only
to touch in order to make it print
exactly what l wanted to write, IN
another room downstairs, shouldn't
want to know how it was done. !
don't care how It's results I'm
looking for hate this everlasting
explaining There are people that
are forever saying that o certain
thing has happened because ofsome-
thing else. What difference does it
make anyway, and what do carer
But what do you expect of pen
that"
Expect? Don't expect any thing, :"
retorted the fair customer, getting
red in the face. "Here you advcr-
tise fountain pen and you are try
ing to make a dupe of me.
IF you will be kind enough,
madam, to let me tell you that you
have to fill the pen with ink before
you can use it, and unscrew the
top"
Fill it with ink before use it?
Take off the top2 Waste my time,
worth three dollars an hour, tinker
ing with self-regulating, adjust
able, pneumatic, back sliding, lev
cred affair? Well, | guess not: I'll