St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1897-06-05
A Tine or Year to Cuss.

i
where they have red hills and sandbeds
and shade trees and spring branches
and poor land and good water in the
greatest plenty-everything was "a
natural and homely looking till it was q
most magnolious and happy day to me.
Soon that mornin, when rid out of the
broad, bleak prairies and struck rale
skirt Of woods for the first time in three
months-man sir, / was SO tremendous
glad till blamed il didn't dismount
and git down and hug large and love-
" pine tree.
Late along in the shank Of the evenin
I rid up in sight Of settlement with .
double pen log house. A man come
tearin out of the clearin and hailed me
in the big road.
"Don't you want . job, stranger? ?"
says he, talkin fast and excited like
II am willin to pay you anything in rea-
son-whatever mought be right for
your time and trouble, and il you are
a rale peart hand at the business you
can soon turn OF the job"
II am q stranger in . strange land.
with a long road ahead and no money
to mention, and wouldn't mind turnin
few honest plunkers II it come handy"
says ].
How are you on cussin ?" says he.
"Only q very few" Gays I. "At home
they tell it around that am the most
handiest man in the settlement. But
10 speak the plain Bible truth, I am
somewhat ruther awkward and nothin
to brag on when it comes to cussin."
"Then you amt the man am looking
for. What want and what need most
hellatious bad at this particular time OF
year is man that has been fetched up
cussin and trained for the business
man that can cuss in al the latest
fashions and fling in the hot stuff thick
and fast and furious. I am what you
mought call right tolerable good hand
at cussin my own rusty self. but the
terrible circumference Of the present
calamity is jest simply too much for
me. can't sorter half way do the sub
ject justice. Iwould love the best In the
world to hire q good. swift hand at the
business and give him the job"
Maybe it mint none OF my business,
but what seems to be the trouble?"
says I.
Nobody knows what trouble is but
me, stranger" the man responded back
as the sun went down behind heavy
bank Of clouds. "Only last week some
ugly scoundrel beast put out pizen and
killed my three hound dogs-the finest
and the fastest that ever followed .
trail in the lone state Of Texas. Night
before last my mule took sick and died,
and right on top Of that my old woman
took and sloped of this mornin and run
away with q foot peddler. So here
am-with my dogs and my mule dead,
and the old woman gon~with seven
children and four cows, and nobody to
do . durn thing-troubles on top Of
troubles - troubles comm in great
chunks and gobs and slices. II could |
but only find the right man to take holt
and cuss out the human race, and cuss
nut creation in general, seems to mo
ike l might feel . whole lot better.
have tried my hand faithful and hit the |
high places. and scorched the air about |
in patches. But q plain, blunt man like
me is as helpless as baby under the |
sad surroundins Of the present case"
What did l do? What could dot
Sothin much to speak of. told the
unhappy man to brace up Is best he
could and wait till the clouds rolled by. |
Then I rid on and left him alone in his |
troubles.