Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1897-10-23
THE OLD HUMORISTS
SAM WELLER AND HIS SIRE DISCUS;
A VALENTINE.


Tho Elder Weller Draws the Line nj the
Poetical - Women as wenuses and An.
gles-The Art of Never Signing One,
Own Name to . Valentine.
Sam Weller had unconsciouslN been o
full hour and half writing words IN
small text, smearing out wrong letters
with he little finger and putting in new
ones which required going over very
often to render them visible through
he old blots, when he was reused by
me opening of the door and the entrance
d his parent.
well, sammy" said the father.
well, my Prooshon Blue" respond
! tho son, laying down his pen.
What s the last bulletin about mother.
in-law"
MRS Weller passed very good
night. but u uncommon perwerse and
unpleasant this mornin. Signed upon
oath, s. Weller, Esquire, Senior That's
the last vun as was issued, Sammy, f" re-
piled Mr. Weller, untying his shawl.
"No better YETI" inquired Sam.
"All the symptoms aggravated. re-
piled Mr.. Weller, shaking his head
But wot's that you're doin of-pur-
suit Of knowledge under difficulties
eh, Sammy"
"I've done now " said Sam, with
slight en- barrassment. "I've been IL
writin. "
$50 see, replied Mr.. Weller. mot
to any young CONAN, 1 hope, Sammy. ="
"Why, it's no use sayin it amt" re.
piled Sam. Its valentine"
"a what" exclaimed Mr.. Weller,
apparently horror stricken by the word.
"a valentine, " replied Sam.
"Samivel, Samivel," said Mr.. We'll
Ter in reproachful accents, II didn't
think you'd ha' done it. AFTER the warn
in vich you've had o. your father &
vicious propensities; arter all I've said
to you upon this here very subject; ar
ter actiwally seein and bein in the com.
pany o. your own mother-in law, vich /
had ha' thought wos moral lesson as
no man could never ha' forgotten to his
dyin day, | didn't think you'd ha' done
it, Sammy, l didn't think you'd ha'
done itw These reflections Were too
much for the good old man. He raised
Sans tumbler to his lips and drank of
its contents.
"Wot's tho matter now?" said Sam.
Never mind, Sammy" replied Mr..
Weller; "it'll be very agonizin trial
to me at my time o. life, but I'm pretty
tough, that's Won consolation, as the
very old turkey remarked wen the
farmer said he was afeerd he should be
obliged to kill him for the London mar
ket."
"Wot'll DO a trial?" inquired Sam.
"To SEQ You married, Sammy-to see
you Il deluded victim and thinkin in
your innocence that it's all very CAPT
tai, " replied Mr.. Weller. "It'sa dread
full trial to fathers feelin's, that
zero, Sammy"
Nonsense" said Sam. II amt
a-goin TO get married; don't fret yourself
about that. know you're Judge o.
these tlinra, Order in your pipe, and
I'll read you the letter-there. ~ Z.
We cannot distinctly say whether it
was the prospect of the pipe or the con-
solatory reflection that a fatal DISPOSE
ton to get married ran in the family
and couldn't be helped which Gained
Mr.. Weller's feelings and caused his
grief to subside. We should be rather
disposed to say that the result was at
tanned by combining the two sources of
consolation, for no repeated the second
i'll II low tone, very frequently, ringing
the bell meanwhile to order in the first.
He then diy ted himself of his upper
coat, and, lighting the pipe and placing
himself in front of the fire with his
back toward it, SO that he could feel its
full heat and ssclinc against the man.
telpiece at the same time, turned to-