The Saint Paul globe., 1897-06-06

pointment, still clutches desperately an
Illusion, which, in an unexpected mo-
ment, crumbles into mere dust and
ashes between his fingers? If you can
picture such a mans estate, then you
may forgive and make allowance for
any reproaches I may make you. For
it is you who are to blame for the final
abandonment of that one ideal to which
1 have held in spite Of all evidence Of
its On-eXistence-you, madame, and
no other. 1t was upon your lovable
and winning beauty and charm of man.
ner, upon your virtue, your stainless
reputation in the midst of great temp
tation, your gentle womanliness, which
had caught none of the bold contagion
of your professional surroundings
upon these. but, above all, upon your
feminine modesty, that outward indica-
ton Of a pure heart and soul, that I
had reared another vain possibility Of
a flawless womanhood. You may we'll
have patience with me if my disap-
pointment makes me forgetful of cour-
tesy"
I had no choice but to stand and lis
ten to him. His passion made him
resolute to hold me prisoner until he
should have emptied upon me the vials
Of his anger and resentment. And
while he spoke, and l. cold and passive,
hearkened to what I thought an un-
justifiable TRADE, a vision slowly grew
up before me and filled that portion
Of the room whereon I had fixed my
eyes, that they might avoid the accus-
ing wrath Of his. It was a vision of
myself as he had last night beheld me-
A vision Of myself as I had appeared,
not to my own accustomed eyes, but
to the eyes of a man who had endowed
me in his fancy with all the most chaste
and delicate characteristics Of my sex.
And, as I gazed through his eyes, there
arose for the first time within me a
consciousness Of the vulgarity Of my
calling, a sense Of disgust at the ex-
posure I had permitted without con-
stderation Of its coarsening effect upon
my own womanhood, and [ would have
given sum far larger than that with
which [ had recently enriched Picot to
have swept all memory of it's last
nights experience from Quintard's
mind. This is how I now saw myself.
In the first act my part had called
for q, pages costume and this had been
made Of grey cloth slashed with silver.
fitting without crease or fold snugly to
a figure that, full and rounded though
it was, yet preserved the slenderness
Of shapely youth While clothing me
fully, this still permitted the disclosure
Of every curve and outline of my form,
and had prided myself upon its gen
eral advantage to my person. Now it
suddenly seemed to me such a garb as
only an essentially coarse-m minded wo-
man would be willing to assume. I tin
gled with shame even while consider
ing it at a. distance. - .s5,s ..-,.
In the next act my dress had been,
1 thought, Of the most exquisite.
as well as becoming costumes [ had
ever worn. It was of brilliant red, gor-
geous, flaming, stunning, and my ap-
pearance in it always elected round
Of applause. That it was fashioned to
disclose more of the figure than it con-
cealed was circumstance to which I
had honestly never accorded a thought.
Now it was the one point that stood
prominently forth. provoking my criti-
cism. How had I formerly been so
blind to my own immodesty? This re-
Election haunted me while Quintard
continued.
Il made mess Of my life early he
went on. '"There is no use in attempt
ing to gloss over the fact The whole
world knows that my marriage has
been an utter and irretrievabIe failure.
But [ have always preserved a belief
that was particularly unlucky devil,