The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1897-06-15
'THE LIMEKILN CLUB.
BROTHER GARDNER STOPS A Dis
pvTE ABOUT NoAh's ARK.


the routine work Of the meeting had been
disposed of at the last meeting Of the Lime
kiln club, IT want to say to yo' right yere
an now dat bylaw No. 1880 will be Wig
orously enforced dis winter. Dat bylaw,
as mos of 20 know, am to dc effeck dat
any member Of dis club who shall start
religus discushun shall be deemed guilty
Of Inisdemeanor an render hisself liable to
fine of $26, 900. This club numbers Bap-
lists, Methodists, Prcsbyterians, Unitarl-
ans, Universalists, atheists, Adventists
an seberal other sorts Of religion among
Its members, an dat bylaw was wise TO-
thought. II man wants q pertiokler
brand Of religun, dat's all right, an he
must raise no objeckshunsa g'in somebody
else's brand. Let each one live up to his
own an make de best Of 1t.
Bout two weeks ago was In coal
ya'd to ask If coal had rig up or gone
down, an run across Brudder Shindig
Watkins an Brudder Badfoot Jones. Brud-
der Watkins am Bap1b, an Brudder
Jones hangs out wild de Uniyersalists. Dey
had got into dispute bout Noah's ark.
De one said 1t was painted red an de other
blue, I'm dey had got mad an was hghtin
an II dose two members am still laid up in
bed it's only what dey desarve. Dat ark
may hev bin painted do reddest sort o. red
or do bluest sort O. blue, or 1t might not
hev bin painted at all. What's do differ
enoe to usp 1t am our bizness to pay our
rent, go to church on Sunday an keep de
ole woman an chill'en in shoes, an de color
of Noah's ark or de color Of Noah's whis.
kers amt gwine to help us out.
"A few days ago went ober to call on
Brudder Waydown Bebee, who owes me
81, an pears to hey forgotten 1t. I found
row in progress in his back ya'd. Brud-
der Comealong Thompson had called to
borry some butter, an dey had begun to
talk bout Dan'l In dc lions den. Brud-
der Bebee said dat DanI was SO skeert
when he was shet up wild dc lions dat his
ha'r all curled up. Brudder Thompson
contended dat Dan'l wasn't skeert tall,
but dat he jest looked de lions In de face
an smiled. Den dey called each other liars
an dodos an pitched in. or happy to OBJ
sarve dat also took hand in. 1t was
a sort o. surprise party to dc crowd, an
dey hain't got ober it yit. What we got
to do wild Danl in dc lion S den? He may
hev bin skeert, an he may hev had reg
lar picnic ober Ii, but how does dat help
us to keep de cook stove gwinef What hap
pened 1900 vars ago hain't gwine to buy
Goldfish fur tomorrer.
"Tain't very long ago dat Samuel Shin
an Giveadam Jones got together to see
bout church matters. Boat am Metho-
dists but while Brudder Shin believes de
whale swallered Jonah, Brudder Jones
won't hev 1t dat way. Dey had no bzness
to bring up dat whale, but dey hadn't
talked ten minits when up he riz an each
man begun to blow an shake his fists. De
natural conscience was fight wasn't
,dar to swing my right, but 1t is consolin
to know dat Brudder Shin had his nose
broken, an Brudder Jones lost heap O.
ha'r an will limp around on one leg fur
weeks to cum What II dat whale did or
didn't swaller JonahH How's dat gwine
to keep flour in do barl at homer Oar
was a whale or dar wasn't. Oar was a
Jonah or dar wasn't. Put it either way,
an is it gwine to take anythin off do price
Of red flannel shirt?
Neither Sir Isaac Walpole nor do Rev.
Penstock nm yere In DER places dis eYeninl
Why not? 'Kase do two Of 'em sot down
to play checkers few nights ago, an dey
hadn't bin playin above five minits when
Sir Isaac otsarved dat he had bin readin
bout Moses in de bulrushes an didn't be-
lieye de yarn. De Rev. Penstock fired up
in moment an said 1t was all true an he
could lick de man who denied 1t. Sir
Isaac hit him on de jaw an got one back
on de left eye, an dey had reg lar scrap
pin match an war boat badly used up.
What was it to either one of 'em whether
Moses was hid away In de bulrushes or in
boiler Logo Mebbe dar wasn't no Moses
tall. If dar was one or TO- Moses, 1t wasn't
muffin fur Walpole an Penstock to fight
ODER Dey hev got back rent to pay up an
debts to settle, an sorappin ODER Moses
won't help 'em. hev said to yo' befo' an
l want to say agin, dat de past am de
past. Lots of things happened 1000 Vars
ago, but de grocers don't let dat make de
price of 'taters. If dar was or dar was not
an ark de price Of butter am jest de same
today. Some folks say dat dc chill'en of
Egypt crossed dc Red sea. Kin yo' buy
bacon any cheaper on dat ACCOUNT Some
folks say dey didn't cross tall. Docs yo'r
landlord raise de price of rent on yo' 'kase
he doan't believe itP
"A long time ago, befo' I got sense In
my head, l used to go around claimin dat
Cain was all right an dat Abel made up
faces at him an desarved what he got Eb-
cry few days run across an Abel man an
hev row, an kept it up till had bin
licked bout ton times Den 1t suddenly
occurred to me dat was backin man
who had bin dead ober 1900 y'ars, an dat
1t didn't make do least difference to him
whether stood up fur him or went back
on him, an so quit.
SIN my younger days / was a great
friend Of Lots wife, de woman who looked
back an was turned into pillar of salt.
l commended dat she had right to look
back to sec II dawg was chasln her, an
dat it was mean trick to turn her to salt
when she could jest as well hev bin turned
to sugar. met up wild folks who thought
different, an We argued an jawed an fit,
an one day de man who was payin me $l2
a week fur my labor knocked me down
On frowed me out. I've bin all frew 1t an
know what it's made of, and don't want
no mo- of 1t. While lean toward do Bap-
fists, hain't got muffin agin any other
sect. Religun am all right, an de Bible
am all right. But haint gwine to argy
poub H. III JOSH BWiHe fiBHe iohS, pay
In cash as fur as I kin, an shall lose no
sleep bkase sumbody don't believe as do.
OATS what hope de rest of yo' will do.
If yo' can't do 1t, yo'd better git outer dis
club, fur If dat bylaw am broken agin dis
winter dc men who break 1t will feel de
airth tip up on one sidsl OATS all I've
got to say, an we will now blow out dc
lights, empty de water pail into de stove
an break do meetin in two"