Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-08-07
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Gildcrsleevc-"rhey say there are
microbes in whisky" Wilberforce-
And air-ships. too."-Puck.
Dora--"Hc said there was one thing
about me he didn't like" Cora--"What
was that?' Another mans arm."-
Life.
Mrs. Hcnpeck--"You're not the man
l took you for" Mr. Hcnpeck-"Alas!
| am the man took you for."-Pick.
Me.rp.
Miss Highsee Is a beautiful singer.
isn't she?' Very. That was all that
made her singing cndurable. Wash.
ington Times.
Waitcr-"Gent mt third table wants
hot roll" Cook--"lIot roll? He must
think we nave money to burn."-Cin.
clnnati Enquirer.
He-"would you scream II should
kiss your" she-"And II I were to al.
low you TO. would you squealT'-lu.
dianapolis Journal.
Mistress-"You were snoring awfully
IN the night. Mary" Maud-"Yis. IN.
but IL was out OF worruliin' hours
Boston Transcript.
Chicago they go into court and sue
for separate wheels and maintenance
New Orleans Picayune.
Not coming their way: New York
people We're disguised with that earth.
quake" why" 1T moved from east
fn ,yc.f 80 Chiro ,v, DocorA
visitor--"what Is that dreadful noise
In the yard:" Rev. Thlrdly's youngest
That's pa prncticing his vacation
cough."-New York Journal.
Getting Around lt.-"Your wife
bought these cigars. didn't she?" "Yes:
how did you guess it, They're In
such pretty box."-Jugcnd.
why did you manufacture this bad
money! the magistrate said, sternly.
"Cos I couldn't turn out no better" re-
piled the counterfciter.--Tid.B
II don't believe Jagway will ever go
on another yacht cruise" "Why notY'
lie says he has lost all desire since he
took the Kecley cure" brooklyn Life.
Martha-"I wonder what made me
Jump In my slccpT Minnle-"Prob.
ably you were drca ming that some ono
proposed to you."-Yonkers Statesman.
"Dawkins Is better dressed than any
man In the club" "Yaas; he deserves
great credit for his taste In dress"
"well. he gets II from his tailor
Boston Traveller
Niistrcss-"Didn't the ladies' who
called leave cards?" Maid-"Thcy
wanted to. ma'am. hut told them you
had plenty of your own. and better,
oo."-Philndelphia Bulletin.
Pip-"What's a summer glrly Quip
--"Oh. one that knows more In the sum.
mcr than In the winter. ! suppose"
"More whatY' more young men, Of
coursc."-New York Journal.
Bertie-"Arc we any kin TO chick.
ens?' Bcrtic--"Of course not: we're
people" Bcrtie-"well. Uncle Harry
says papa was a mighty bad egg when
he was young" Brooklyn Life.
what sweet satisfaction It Is" said
she. Ito have friend you can trust. =
"An,. oh, what n convenience II is,'
replied Hardup, ito have n friend who
VIII trust you."-Ohio State Journal.
street life Is SO picturesque. Jus,
see those dusky Italians with the or.
gan on wheels. Isn't that a study In
browns?" "Well, no. l should call 1t q
art.toon."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Jinks-"Thcrc Is a man who has q
number OF movements on foot for max
Ing money" Binks-"WhO Is hep
Jinks--''I don't know his name, but he's
u dancing teacher" Boston Traveller
1.-TWO hours OF sleep before mIdnigh,
are better than four after that hour.
"Fiddicsticks! Two hours Of sleer
after one Is called In the morning ars
better than all the others. West
Gniou Gazette.
Mrs. Stuckupp appears to be very
proud. Seems to consider herself
above her neighbors." 'she has rea
son to. She lives In the top story of the
taRcst apartment building In the city,
Ohio State Journal.
Papa Crumley-'l judge n man, sir
by the company he keeps" Mr.. Sulto'
---"Ycs. sir l hope you will bear IL
mind that I've been keeping company
with your daughter for over tive
rs."-Philadelphi North American
Pokeleigh-"I met an old scientist TO
day who claims 10 be able TO square {
circle" Rrokeleigh-"Pshaw,I can d.
that myself. Just loan me a roun,
dollar and see how quick I'll turn !!
into square meal,"-New York Jour
nal.
Herbert Watts Is a clever fellow
He couldn't find an umbwellah tina
would roll tight enough to suit him
What DO you suppose he did? II Gavin
imagine" He had an umbwellal
cover made for his cane.'-Clevelan6
Plain Dealer.
June Is well called the month o
roses" remarked Mr. Bellcheld
"I,oses are not the most importan
flowers Of June" replied Miss Bloom
field. What arey" Orange bios
sons" Pittsburg Chronicle Telc
graph.
Miss ACKNOWLEDGMENT il sad abou
Mr.. I.arrabee" Mr.. Gimp IAN oil,
bachelort-"What was it, He wa
married on Tuesday and died the fol
lowing Friday" Yes, II Is sad mar
riagc doesn't always prove fatal s,
soon. Boston Traveller.