The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-03-27
JEsTsl AND YARNS OF THE FUNNY
MEN OF THE PRESS.
Scientific Inquiriss-Effect Of Home ;n'
fluences-The End Of the honeymoon
A Business Education-T aiken Into the
FamiIy-Etc.. Etc.

LOOKS ~ hcS;
Wishes lie
Was cur.
Ten O'Clock,
Time expired;
ssTom, good night,
Fido's tired. ("
CRUEL
sDoesn't her singing appeal to your
s.wel it does seem in need Of help"
CANDID.
Magistrate. Why did youpick the mans
pocket?
Prisoner Well, your honor. Thought
there might be something in It for mel
CRUEL.
s.Did you hear that Biggs was arrested
BY the Society for the Prevention o.
Cruelty to Childrens''
mo, what was he doing p
Trying TO sing his baby to sleep"
SCIENTIFIC INQUIRIES.
Bobby--Is oxygen what the oxen
breathe oil day?
Papa-Of course. and what everything
else breathes.
Bobby--And is nitrogen what every
one breathes at night?
EFFECT OF HoAE INFLUENCES.
Teacher When should main use
"Your humble servant" in closing
letter.
Pupil-When he's writing to bis VILE
Counscl-Well, after the witness gave
you blow, what happened
Prsoner-Hc gave me.a third one.
/ Counsel-You mean second one
Frisoner-No, sir; / landed him the
second one.
THE END OF TnE HONEYMOON.
| She s'Pm sure you love me no longer.
Now do not deny it. can see the change
in YOU. I'm no fool. You should have
married somebody stupider."
He-sI couldn't find one."
IN DEEP WATER.
| Bixby very near sighted who's that
dumpy fright coming up the road on the
Stinchcomb-Thats my wife,
Bixby-N-no.. don't mean that one.
mean the grand guy with the bologna
boomers.
4 Stinchcomb -Thats your wife.
NOT AFRAID.
Dick Hicks (watching the orchestfa)-
Those musicians don't care anything
about the director.
Mrs. Hicks-How do youknoW!
Dick Hicks-The more he shakes that
! stick at 'em the harder they fiddle.
pusNrss rnuoArroy.
sWhat do you mean by 'salting
mine, popper?" asked the small boy.
: as it anything like sailing meat !"
mo, indeed" answered MI. Bittwuntz.
"When q man salts meat 1t is'because
he wants 10 keep II"
az may be hideous, slab-sided and all
= thatn remarked the slate tentatively,
3 s.but If there's any figuring TO- DC cone
Q you can count on me-"
3 Whereupon the pencil asked the sponge
if it saw the point, and the sponge dricA
!. up.
! TAKEN INTO THE FAMILY.
Alpernon Gotrox-Mrs. Jones, / love
> your daughter devotedlyl have nm
9 ample income, city residence on River
:, side Drive, country place at Lenoz
!: steam yacht, a.racing stable, ranch out
Il West, A.
l. Widow Jones clustered, but happy
a Say no more, Mr.. Golrox--we are yours!
J. take US and be happy
y THAT IS TIE TROUBLE
" speaking OF the Venezuelan dispute,
began McSwiIlgen, England takes the
ground-p
tfhat's the root OF the whole trouble =
interrupted Equilddig. III England
q, hadn't taken ground which did not pc
Q, long to her there would have been n
&, necessity for interference"
= prPsxps on HOW ONE TAKES n.
= sister-Stick out your tongue and taxi
= your powder like a.good girl. You neve'
e = heard me complaining about such lltt
= thing
es Fiossie -Neither would II coul
ne take 1t on my face like you do.
= ON THEIR WEDDING JOURNEY.
"You can both ride on single ticket,
a said the conductor, sharply.
at s.Oh, / guess we kim" answered Josh
n with perfect confidence, as he threw 81
ID arm around his blushing companion.
- you'll look at this here document YOU
- see that me and Martha's jest been mad
~ one"
:. SHE KNEW THE SYMPTOMS.
en- Fond Mother-Wby, my dear, what.
as the matter.
*. Daughter (recently married boo hoe
My husband doesn't-lo-ioye me an
more. Ec didn't kiss me when ne can
home and he--he kept ed sing away fro'
me whenever went near him; and
az. now he's in the library, and don't want
lis- don't want to be disturbed boo, no
raj hoo u.
Fond Mother Calm yourself. my dea
IL. He loves you as much as ever ont ! 90
- -. pose be has taken . drink ana aoesz
'ns want you TO Know Il.
ind