The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1897-06-21
MONDAY MORNING RISFlTS.

/ ave NNANAs 80
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MONDAY MORNING MlSFITS.
Thero IL no telling to what extremes
constituencies corporations VIII go In re-
pressing everything human In their en-
ployes. a case In point will servo as a
diagram for the foregoing outbreak. A
Cincinnati street car company having
exhausted the ten Commandments and
their relative bearing on every concelva-
bio action Of man. rclapsed into a prnE-
NAUTICAL mood not long ago aud Issued
firman fnrhlddlng any OF It's conductors
wearing button hole bouquets There
was one who loved ilOwerd who persist
ed in gratifying his passion, and the
consequence was his suspension for one
week. The worst that could be said
about him was that he was exceptionally
neat and clean about his person, which
may have been n contrlbutory onense'
He was likewise man OF fine sensiDii,
ties, as one naturally would be who had
n passion for flowers. He brooded over
the arbitrary action OF the company Tor
a few days, and then sought the solaco
OF oblivion by shooting himself In the
head. OF course Il was very inconSe-
Quentlal thing TO induce Buicide,hut u Is
the seeminly unlmportant matters In this
life that always raise mountains the
presumption 10 nnt all violent that the
next rule that company formulates VIII
be one expressly forbidding any OF It's
employees from wearing q pleasant
smile.
Speaking OF little things one does not
4. - Nhnp
times work The trlckllng crack In the
leVee soon works Itself Into gaping
crevasse. and constant dropping has
been known 70 wear away the hardest
stone. Now doughnuts sometimes are
culinary symphonies, but too liberal in
dulgence Is very apt 70 produce dlScord
in the Internal harmonies Of man, As In
imlcal as they frequnetly are to the d.
gestive processes OF the human body VINO
ever heard OF them being persona non
grata to a steamship Yet such Is the
fact, and this Is how II happened. The
other day the revenue cutter Chandler
was making for quarantine In New York
harbOr. when her engines gave vent 10
wheeling a3thmatlcal cough, and then
| stopped. Her mechanical arrangements
appeared 90 be altogether out or sorts,
and IL was some time before the cause
was discovered. The paralysis was In
tiuced by one OF those creations OF dough
and hot lard. Upon examination It was
found that a doughnut had been sucked
from the river through an open valve
into the condenser and had lodged there,
bringing about the disability which had
forced the vessel to return. This unusual
occurrence suggests the problem: II It
takes one doughuut to give steamship
the collie how many will Il require TO
throw a man into Involuntary spasms.
think this can be solved without extract
ing the cube root OF the unknown guam
tty. or Equaring the circle Of the dough-
nut
II Is unpleasant enough TO run across
the bad spelling OF people in the ordinary
walks OF life. hut when college professors
are found guilty Of the ellslon or addi-
ton of letters to words the shock IS
somewhat intensified. You would hard
" believe Il, but II is true nevertheless.
that In a recent examination OF candt-
dates for graduation In the normal coll
lege OF New York City, on the printed
examination slips one "r" was jerked
out OF "'narrate." the letter re" usurped
the place OF an "a" In the final syllable OF
grammar" and the second syllable OF
measles" was reversed, appearing as
"measeIs." This was nothing, however,
compared TO the admission cards distrib-
uted by the president OF the City College
OF New York, where the word "geogra-
ply was mutllRted by the interjecton
o I an extra r. making It read
g-e-o-r-E-r-a-p-h-y." Surely the school,
master has been very much abroad in
that locality.
Bad spelling Is n very common fault.
Sometimes is owing TO carelessnesH with
~ manila hVNN fire.
Quently It II Grass ignorance. In a rem
| inlscent way can recall the fad OF spell
| ing matches that prevailed In Wheeling
many years ago. There was contest
between picked teams of the Waverly
Literary Society, Ut fragrant memory.
and the Slgourney Society OF the
| wheeling Female College. l cannot
state with any degree of certainty which
won the fight, but do remember how
| one OF the Waveriy team fell down on
the same simple word OF grammar"
He mad SPARED one round successfully
with "eleemosynary, and landed clean
on the solar peXus OF ''ZygOdactylae,
but grammar" clInched and wrestled
| him ali around the ring, and in the
break-aWay gave him an upper cut, and
when the gong sounded he was counted
out, According to his photography
grammar contained that interloDlng "e."
| That unfortunate young man Is now
prominent lawyer OF this city, and IL this
strikes his eye he will. perhaps. remem-
Der the incident with compassionate
feeling for that slip OF the bright green
days Of his life without cherishinG any
bitter feelings towards me.
Unfortunately there are many good
average spoilers who are trIpped up on
words In common use, The more dlffi-
cult ones are correctly written on ac-
count OF the peculiar combination OF let
tiers, and for the reason that anything
out OF che common rut makes deeper
impression on the mind and Is more
| firmly retained by memory. One can
never be taught TO be good speller by
sound, for pronunciation is often arbl-
trary, / once handled the manuscript OF
a farewell sermon preached by prom
Inent divine, who was leaving his charge
to accept the presidency Of celebrated
| college, and / found the word valleys
four times spelled "vallies." So It goes,
for spelling, like medicine, has not yet
become an exact science. Spelling
should always be taught by sight, for
when the eye once gets the form of an
object the impression can never be
erased. Sound Is often treAcherous. The
| English are very arbitrary In their pro-
nounclation. For Instance, who would
ever think Of spelling "Chumley" "Chol-
mondely," or "Cobun," "Cockburn," and
also "Pell Nell" Pail Mall" It Is this
sight spelling that moves me TO wager
that any competent typesetter on a
newspaper can outspcll any college
graduate that ever pan-handled n dlplo-
ma