The Indianapolis journal., 1897-04-16
REFORM CANDIDATES.
Philosopher DOoley Describes the
Ways of the s'Better Element"

Finley Z. Dunn, in Chicago Post.
This is tn way a rayform candydate is
ilicted. TIL boys downtown has heerd that
things amt goin' right somehow. Fran
chises is bein' handed out to none iv thin
an wanst in a while a mimber iv tn club
reconcile a pair iv r-round feet.with an
embroidered sidewalk meets ~sthrong
ar-am boy that pushes in his face an
takes away all his marbles. 1t begins TO be
talked that tn time has come f'r good cit
izens FIR to brace up an do somethin', an
they agrees to nommynate candydate fr
Hown Clarence says vans fae
laid up with coupon thumb an can't
r-run.' An how about Arthur Doheney p
Il swore an oath whim i came out iv col
lege I'd niver vote for man that wore a
made tie Well, thin. let's thry Willie
Boye-' Good says the comfy. Hes just
tn man f'r our money. An Willie Boye,
after thinkin' it over, goes TO his tailor an
ordhers three dozen pairs iv pants an de
cides fr TO be tn standard bearer iv the
people. Musin' over his fried eyesthers an
asparagus an his champagne booze he
bets a polo pony again box of golf balls
he'll be ilicted unanimous, an all tn good
citizens make AXE a vow f.r to set tn alarm
iv iliction day, SOS to be up in time 10
vote fr tn riprisintitive iv pure govern
mint.
"'Tis some time befure they comprehind
that there ARE other candydates I'm tn
field But tn other candydates know it. TIL
strongest iv thim-his name is Flanagan,
q
an he lives over his establishment. Flan-
nigan was nomynated enthusiastically at a
primry held in his bar-rn, and befure Will
lie Boye had picked out pants. that wud
match tn color iv tn Austhreeiyan ballot
this here Flanagan had put man on tn
day watch, tould him to speak gently to
amy raygisthered voter that wint TO sleep
behind tn sthoye, an was out that night
visitin' his frinds. Who was it judged tn
cake walk? Flannigan Who was it car;
rid tn pail? Flanagan. VINO was IL shtud
up at tn christenin? Flanagan. Whose
ca-ards did tn grievin' widow. tn blushin
bridegroom or tn happy father find i'm tn
see Flanagan wasn't out f'r the good iv
tn community. Flanagan was out fr F'lan-
nigan an tn stuff.
well ilichion day come around an all
tn imminent frinds iv good governmint had
special wires sthrung into tn club an wait
ed fr tn rayturns. tn first precinct
showed Is votes f'r Willie Boye TO IA fr
Flanagan. That's my precint, says vii,
lie. Il wonder who voted thin fourteen.
'Coachmen. says Clarence Doolittle. There
are thirty-five ,precints in this ward says
tn leader iv tn rayform ilmint. AT this
rate I'm sure iv 44o meejority. Gossoon.
ne says put kag s sherry bs wins on !h
last tn community Is relieved firm mis-;
start in arrangin' amindmints to the tariff
schedool an tn arbitration threety he
.Hol on there says wan iv tn comfy.
There must be some mistake in this firm
sSth h 14e nrecn sys 9s caTaHc over be
dumps says Willie. L told me futman
to see to that. He lives at tn CORNER iv
Gooses Island he says. What does il
shove Flanagan, three hundred an
eighty-fve; Hansen, forty-eight: Schwartz
twinty; OMalley sivinteen; Casey, ten
O'Day, eight: Larsen, five; ORourke
three: Mulcahy. two: Schmitt, two; Willie
Boyle. wan 'Gintlemin, says Willie Boyle
arisin' with a stern look in his eyes. tn
rascal has betrayed me. Waiter, take tn
sherry wine off tn ice. They'se no hops
f'r sound financial legislation this year. m
goin' home
An as he goes down tn sthreet he hear.
a band play an sees a procession headed bt
a calceem light. an in a carredge, with hi:
plug hat in his hand an his diamond
maxim tn calceem look like a piece IL
punk in smokehouse. is Flanagan, payin
his first visit this side iv tn thracks.'