davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

tleman high in authority. 1t is an in
suit 70 their intelligence. The chief
reason why people want things in this
world is because some one else wants
them If no other nation wants the
Hawaiian ISLANDS why should the
United States want them? 1t is not at
all probable that congress and the adj
ministration viii give any heed to the
question of the annexation of the
Hawaiian islands the moment it is dis
covered that no other nation has any
intention or desire to annex them. II
no one else wants the islands why
should this country want them?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
HUDIBRAs' SWORD AND DAGGER

His puissant sword unto his side
Near his undaunted heart was tied,
With basket hilt that would hold broth
And serve for fight and dinner both.
In It he melted lead for bullets
To shoot at foes, and sometimes pulletS
To whom he bore so fell a grutch
He ne er gave quarter to any such.
The trenchant blade, Toledo trusty.
For want of fighting was grown rusty,
And ate into itself. for lac
OF something to hew and hack.
The peaceful scabbard. where il dwelt,
The rancor of its edge had felt;
For of the lower end two handful
1t had devoured, il was so manful;
And so much scorned to Turk in case.
AS if it burst not show its face.
This sword dagger had. his page,
That was but little for his age.
And therefore waited on him so
AS dwarfs unto knight-errants do.
1t was serviceable dudgeon.
Either for fighting or for drudging.
When il had stabbed or broke a head
1t would Scrape trenches or chin bread
Toast cheese or bacon. though it were
To bait a mouse trap 'twould not care;
'Twould make clear shoes, and in the
earth
Set leeks and onions and so forth;
1t had been 'pretice to a brewer.
Where this and more it did endure;
But left the trade, as many more
Have lately done on the same score
Dr. Samuel Butler, 'Hudibras."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
TALES OF THE DAY.
Sheridan,s Wig.

Washington Star: Sheridan once had
occasion to call at hairdresser's to order
a wig On being measured, the barber
who was liberal soul, invited the orator
to take some refreshment in an inner
room. Here he RECALLED him with a bot
tic of port and showed so much hos
pitality that Sheridans heart was
touched.
When they rose from the table and were
about separating. the latter. looking the
barber full in the face. said: ION reflect
ing. l don't intend that you shall make
my wig"
Astonished and with blank visage, the
other exclaimed: Good heavens. Mr..
Sheridanl How can l have disDleased
you?''
why, look here" said Sheridan. you
are an honest fellow. and l repeat It..
you shan't make my wig. for / never in
tended TO pay for it, I'll go TO another
less worthy son of the craft
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

THE worse the tariff bill is made
the surer there is to be a reaction"
says the New York Times. THAT is a
fact that the Republican leaders have
so far ignored. The mere consequence
of turning one party out and putting
another in is matter as to which we
have, in common with a vast body of
sensible people, a very slight interest.
But the inevitable disturbance and de-
preston of business from such changes
cannot be disregarded. 1t is the curse
of the system that makes legislation a
source of profit to private interests"
1t seems almost if not quite impossible
to make the tariff bill worse than it
is At any rate it is the very worst
this country has ever had.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

At the last meeting of the Universal
list club of Boston Captain Albert A.
Folsom of the Ancient and Honorable
Artillery company spoke on the visit
of the Ancients to England. He
touched upon the question Of the log
of the Mayfower. which has just been
presented to this country by English
authorities, and said he was positive
that it was not the true log of the
vessel, but copy as given in Governor
Bradford's history Of the colony of
Plymouth. Captain Folsom said he
had seen the log in question while he
was in England. and he had concluded
that it was not the real log of the
Mayhower.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
AN unusual Occasion.

Detroit Free Press; Speaking of rid
ing n those English railroad coaches. -
said the present wife of railroad mag
nate lit was in one OF them that I had
the greatest fright of my life We were
in London; mamma was sick, the raid
had to be with her and 1 was left
to my own devices. Being an American
girl and an only daughter. l felt at liberty
to do pretty much as / pleased, and one
day decided on a short run into the
country.
in the same compartment with me
was = rather handsome man of about
80. / scarcely noticed him till he settled
himself comfortably and presently went
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

A Seattle Post-Intelligencer linotype
operator has made new worlds rec
ord for eight hours composition, set
ting in that time S5.S72 ems of solid
nonpariel- At the rate of composition
paid in this city he would have earned
in eight hours s11.16, which is not a bad
days wage.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Tom Plat wants Ellis H. Roberts of
New York made treasurer of the
United States, While Secretary Gage
wants Mr. Conrad II. Jordan continued
in the position. Plat looks upon him
as being nothing but a Conrad the
Corsair.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Prosperity, like a street car, will
not pick you up and carry you along
unless you go out to meet it, SAYS the
New York Commercial Advertiser.
Very true, but when you get on the
street car you have to have your fare.
and the trouble now is that the people
haven't got the fare to get aboard the
prosperity tram.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

The story comes from Paris that an
other Italian expedition to Abyssinia
has been annihilated. These Italian ex-
petitions to Abyssinia realize Colonel
Watterson's graphic description of
march through a slaughter house to
an open grave.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

A Washington correspondent says
that no one understands better than
President Mckinley tie art CT counter
balancing in politics. His record on
the financial question is proof positive
of this fact
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Secretary Long should establish a
rule that when our battleships go down
they shall go down with their colors
flying. There is no reason in the world
why they should not.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Secretary Wilson is going to take
vigorous measures to stamp out hog
cholera. And when he says that it
has been done there will be the gov
eminent stamp to prove it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
Belonged to the Other Crowd.

Chicago Tribune: Hello. Tankers-
leyl 1 haven't seen you for months.
Didn't you tell me you were slated for
a foreign consulship2"
That slate was broken long ago.
Mibbs."
What broke il %
Last fall
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

Atlanta Journal: American citizens"
who enlist in wars between foreigners
IN watch our government has taken no
part cannot expect the United States to
come to their rescue when they get into
trouble.
San Francisco Chronicle: Besides be-
Ing the biggest city in the United States,
New York is trying to get up an equal
reputation as health resort. AS a first
sten it has abolished the Raines-law
sandwich and RESTORED the succulent free
lunch Scientists are pretty well agreed
that next to the appendicitis, the Raines-
law sandwich was the direst foe to
American longevity.
Kansas City Star: Grover Cleveland
was the only presideat who has ever been
known to construct a system of levees
that proved serviceable III turning back
the tide of Office seekers.
St Louis Republic: The fact that
New York magistrate fines both bicycle
beginners and ''scorchers'' alike for rid
ing on crowded streets shows that he
appreciates the two extremes of wheel
ing's perils.
Atchison Globe: A peculiar feature in
regard to the bribery investigation at
Topeka is that the honest glow of manly
Indignation and shame is missing when a
man is accused of taking a bride. He re-
CARDS the accusation calmly as if he
had been accused of taking nothing worse
than a walk. The legislators seem to
have given their consciences knock out
blows under the heart.
Mail and Express: If the government
wants to go into the business of manu-
featuring armor plate it should build its
own FORCES instead of seizing those of its
citizens Confiscation as a means of
beating down prices is neither honest nor
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

The treasury department estimates
the population of the country on April
at 72,547,OOO. And no doubt there
have been several thousands added
since then.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Jerry Simpson says he is going to
renew his fight on Speaker Reed. There
IS no objection to this provided the
kaleidoscope is all ready and the films
are perfect.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

The New York Tribune insists that
the anti-cartoon bill should be killed.
And then the fool-killer should be put
on the trail of the author of the
bill.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
WIT AND HuMoR.

Boston Transcript: Mistress = This
steak is done too much. Mary.
Maid-Not too much for me, num-
Mist-ess-Bdt 1 hire you to cook for
me. not for yourself.
Maid-Ye think ye do, mum.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

N Y. Commercial Advertiser: Forty
seven new girl lawyers were turned loose
on the city yesterday. and each one of
them is ready to begin court proceedings
and listen TO intending suitors.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Leading citizens of Chicago want to
make that city a modern Athens. On
the dead level, the thing is absolutely
impossible.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Many people. with the notion that
nature ought to take care of herself.
allow a cough to plague them for
weeks and months. Whereas. if ma
ture were assisted with a dose or two
of Ayers Cherry Pectoral, the cure
might be effected in very few days
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

The Dingley bill is not liked in
France. And yet 1t cannot be said that
they order these matters better in
FRANCE.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

It is said that Mr.. TerrelPs successor
at Constantinople will prove a minis
tering Angel TO the Christians in
Armenia
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

So blind are the tariff leaders that
they not only cannot read the signs
of the times, but they would also put a
heavy duty on all raised letter books
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Greece and Turkey are getting right
down to business. 1t looks as though
the affair would be fast and furious
from start to finish.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Anti-Pingree papers say that Hazen's
sun has set. If this be so, then most
likely it is brooding on the face of the
waters.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

There is a fortune in it for the man
who can invent a new way to pay old
political debts,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

The peace of Europe" and the
maintenance of the integrity of the
Turkish empire are indistinguishable
terms at present
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Doubtless those Greek irregulars who
have been crossing the Turkish from
tier viii now become regulars.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Mrs. Julia Dent Grant has written
book but she says it is not to be pub
lished. Thanks, awfully
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

AS an Ohio man does the admins
tration intend TO do anything for Gen
eraI Jacob S. Coxey?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

While the general war upon birds is
much to be regretted, yet no one
mourns the determination of the
cuckoo"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Are the people of this city of Salt
Lake so dull or so truthful that not
one of them has seen an airship?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Cleveland Plain Dealer: Buckeye
Loyalty.-"A man never makes any mis-
takes by being born in Ohio" How do
you know?" I've tried it,"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Cleveland Leader: His Misfortunes.-
Mulligan-"Oi came in to tell yez, Mrs.
O'Flynn. about your Dinnis. It's a sad
thing that's just happened to him, so 1t
is Mrs. O'Flynn-"Oh. worra, worra,
and PLAT is it, Misther Mulligan?" Multi
gan-'It's a little off he is. Mrs. OFlynn
"A little off? And has Dinnis losht his
moind?" Mulligan-"No. Mrs. OFlynn.
it's only wan arum. what got ketched
bechune tn bumpers"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Philadelphia North American: There
IS this much to be said in favor of the
wild men of the forest" says the Lanni-
ganville Sage. "They always smoke a
pipe of peace; never a cigarette
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Boston Transcript: Concha-''Now.
there is cigar that l can conscientiously
recommend Bouquet-''If it is all the
same to you, I'd rather have one you can
conscientiously smoke"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Mother-"You should consent to let her
marry him. They have two hearts that
beat rs one" Father-.'Yes. and two
minds without a single thought. l shall
enter no objection at ALL"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Washington Star: 1T was great
enterprise" said the enthusiastic man
ager. When we opened with that show
we had two Uncle Toms, two little Evas,
two Aunt Ophelias, and two blood
hounds Yes" replied Mr.. Stormington
Barnes dreamily, and 81"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Indianapolis Journal: No said the
old man. as he limped into the office with
one hand on his back, and his hat in the
Other. no l amt deaconin' at the
chu'ch no mo- Whey dey axes a man
who ben servin' de Lawd as many yeahs
as l hab toe cyarry a cash registah wen
he takes up de collection, it time for me
toe quit"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Chicago Record: Clearly Defined
what is typical spring weather." ANY
kind of weather we get when we are not
looking for it,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

DR.. Hunters campaign song is:
They Are After Me-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20
Va willle-How do you make

Odds and Ends: Hungry Harry (the
and you was born before our
fir,ac
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Good
Shoes for
Everybody at
Enormous discounts
in the Mascot Shoe Sale.
SPENCER & LYNCH CO., 124 Main.
The Life OF Love.
It's said that Love lives on and or.
AS long as the foamy breakers flow;
dawn
Or the white sails come and the white
sails 60"
All, guileless singer of such a songi
The truth is. love lives on and on
Till some other charmer comes along
And then you awake to find il gone
Cleveland Leader.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Hungry Harry-Ive been readin' the
gers an | see the experts agree that
by the next century the wimin will be
doin' al the work in this world.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Capital. fully paid. $780, 200
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-04-20

Cor. Main and South Temple streetx
SALT LAKE CITY, UTAH.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-03-01
An Interesting Experiment..

A peculiar scientific experiment has
been made with the famous engine $40
of the New York Central railroad at the
shops at West Albany. Some months
ago this large engine, which in the oDin-
ion of many Well-informed railroad men
excels even the 900, was taken into the
shops and completely overhauled. 1t was
taken apart completely, and every part
of the engine, from the massive driving
wheels to the very smallest bolt and nut,
was separately weighed. The heavy por-
tons were weighed in the shops and the
small parts were taken to a Watervliet
avenue pharmacy, where they were
weighed on the pharmacists scales.
The greatest care was taken by the
machinists under the direction of Master
Mechanic Buchanan to see that the
weighing was accurate. When every
part of the engine had been weighed a
force of the best-skilled mechanics was
put at work to reaSsemble the engine.
When it was complete again it was put
into active service.
A short time ago the engine was taken
back to the shops and mechanics were
put to work dissecting it again. Once
more every part was weighed. The scales
of the pharmacist was brought into serv-
ice again. When every portion had been
weighed the record was compared with
the former one. Then Master Mechanic
Buchanan knew just how much the en-
CINE had lost in weight through the wear
of a known amount of work. The rec
ords of the weights of the separate parts
also showed which parts were subjected
to the most wear.
The test cost many hundreds of dol
lars, but the New York Central was will
ing to spend the money in order that it
might be able to know what parts of an
engine wear out most quickly and in
what ratio the several parts wear out.
The exact figures have not been made
public. There is no doubt that they will
be interesting to mechanics and scien-
tiSts-Albany Express
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-03-01
MARKETS BY TELEGRAPH.

MILWAUKEE-Flo STEADY. Wheat
Weak and lower; No. : - spring 81 14c; No NO
No. 3, 19c. Oats-Steady; No. white, $50
1S1hc Barley-Dull; No. 2, 326321@c; sam
pie on track, 23M321ac. Rye-Weeak and
lower; on No. !, l. l. $4 e. Pr0visions-steadier
Flour steady on the basis of 4.10@4.20 fol
patents in bbls in caroats; bakers, in jute
and in bbls, 3.2003.40; rye, i'll bbls, ESQ
24O.
Millstuffs are firm at 900 per ton fol-
sacked bran, SO for fine middlings; white
do. 9.25@9.5O
be Der. 76Nc. Gor1nNFebruaTy, 22N@52Mc
Nay, 23A@242sc; July, 253se; ,sePfem1755Ser
8O2h; July, 815 Lard-February, 1914
May, 4,,O7h@4; 10; July, 417h. Ribs-Feb
ruary, 4;1214; May, 415; July, 4221A Flax
NEW YoRK---Close,-W heat-.February
s sdA March o6 Size i, April soAc; May
9 9Se 5 coreS Nay g 166a afSMa ac
LIvERPOOL-Close- Wheat = Spot dull
futures quiet, FEBRUARY, 6s232d, unchanged
March, 6s21Ad e "a lover Yer Nay Nay esd "a
Spot dull, futures steady, February, 2s6d
I'D lower; March, 2s614d, I'd lower; April
2s7d, I'd lower; May, 2s7Ad, I'd lower;
X KAS 7Sai GfITYwWheat-No, hard 771zd
78c; No. 3, 741ac; No. 2 spring, 77@77hc
Corn-No. 2 mixed 167sq17c; No 2 white,
19c Oats-No mixed, 16@1615c; No.
white, 1sa19c Rye-No. 2 Bic. Hay-S.5C
ST. LOUIs-Wheat-N 2 red cash ele-
cat1r S8e May SIS sff5 BID o GornNo
N Observation-Disclosures IN MdS Lf February, 72Ac
May, 7211c; July, 73714c; No; 1 hard on
track, 75c; No 1 Northern, 73c..
KANSAS Y-Cattle-Receipts, 1000
shipments, $500; native cows and heifers,
1.25@3. 50; stockers, and feeders 3.25G4 25.
bulk of sales, S.4711G3. 6775. sheep-Re-
ceipts, $500; shipments, 300; lambs, 3.00@
4.T5; muttons, 2500I4.50.
-Cattle-Receipts., 1900; cows
and heifers, 2.75@3 50; stockers and and feed
ers, 3.50@4 80. Hogs-Receipts 600; bulk
of sales, 3.35@3. 90. Sheep--Receipts, 5000;
common and stock sheep 2.5O@3.55; lambs,
3.5005.00.
ST LOUIS-CattIe-R $500; stock
ers and feeders. 2.10@3.S0;. COWS and heif-
ers. 3 25M3. 60 Hogs-Receipts. 5000; bulk,
3.250l3.65 Sheep-Receipts, 1000; muttons,
3.00a4. %; lambs. 3.5005.25.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-03-01
Church Posters.

On a certain avenue here in Boston
two churches on opposite corners nave
lately displayed staring posters, adver-
Using the engagement of rival evan
gelists, and they have been conducting
''revivals'' in these places on high pres
sure principles. The veteran at the club
says that this reminds him of an army
story. A certain Green mountain regi-
ment had the luck to be brigaded with
tough New York regiment, whose colo
mel was noted for anything except p;ety.
One day this colonel was told by his
major that great religious revival was
going on in the Vermont command, and
that twenty-seven men were to be bap-
tized the next Sunday in the creek near
by. ''That SOP unused the colonel; then
suddenly he shouted "Adjutant!' and
when that officer thrust his head i'll at
the flap of the tent he got this order:
'tAdjutant, detail seyenty-fve men to re-
port to the chanlain at 10 o'clock next
Sunday morning to be baptized. I'll be
if any Vermont regiment can
lay over the 10Th New York; '-Tav-
erner in Time and the Hour.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-03-01
The Great Old Men.

When it is stated that the wonderful
English statesman, William Ewart Glad
stone, still takes more than ordinary
interest in politics, it is well to remem-
Der that he stands almost alone among
the great old men Of the world; as few
busy men as he has been all his life
have reached the age of 81. His near
est neighbor is Pope Leo Kill, who is
Sc; Verdi, the composer, now 50, may
rightly be considered third on the list.
Then comes Bismarck and Adolph Men
eel, 81; Prof Mommsen, 70; Queen Vic
toria, Crispi and John Ruskin, Y; Her
bert Spencer and Jean Ingelow, rs; Prof.
Virchow, Ristori and Prince Hohenlohe.
70; Rosa Bonheur and Edward Everett
Hale, "A; Max Muller, Senator Sher-
man, Prof Goodwin Smith and Ii Hung
Chang, 70; Prof. Higgins, u; Sir Wal
ter Aiken, II; Karl Blind, Marquis of
Dufferin and ex-Empress Eugene, 20.
All these and more, too, have attained
the allotted "three score and ten," but
Gladstone may be considered, fgurative-
ly speaking, the top of the heap.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-03-01
Had Whiskers On.

A captain in a regiment stationed in
Natal, when paying his company one
day, CHANGED to give a man a Trans
vaal half crown, which, as one would
naturally expect, bears ''the image and
superscription" of President Kruger.
The man brought it back to the pay
table, and said to his captain: "Please,
sir, you've given me bad half crown"
The officer took the coin, and, without
looking at it, rung it on the table, and
then remarked: at sounds all right,
Bagster. What's wrong with it?"
''You luke at it, sir,'' was the reply.
ing: Its all right, man; it will pass
in the canteen."
This apparently satisfied Bagster, who
walked off, making the remark: IF you
say it's a right. sir, it is a right; but
it's first time I've seed the Queen wi
WhiskerS on!'