New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-07-02
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

The victory OF Cornell reminds The Boston Trans
cript OF an old story based upon the Typographical
situation OF Ithaca. As the train passes over the
rails before reaching Ithaca several different views
are obtained OF the city II Is told that stranger
looking out OF the car window upon getting a view
Of the place asked a fellow passenger What city
is that" ithaca" the reply. A few minutes
later. the city having disappeared and come into
view again. the question was repeated, 'What city
IL that?" and the reply. as before, was ithaca
Again there was disappearance and again the
city nut In an appearance. What city Is that was
asked Cor the third time and again the answer,
ithaca" The stranger opened his eyes in astonsh-
ment and delivered himself OF these memorable
words: Where for goodness sake, amt Ithaca?
Fuddy-Grimsy is proud as Lucifer over his wife
Duddy-Well. what of it?. He'd ought TO be-
Dnddy-No. but i've seen Cirmsy-(Boston Tran
script.
A local paper says that nine st. Louis drummers
have equipped private with as many up-to-
date boudolrs lockers and shelves and a kitchen
and a storeroom which holds not only samples OF
their wares but all kinds of choice eatables and
lrinkables. In this car these nine ST. Louis drum-
mers representing of nine different lines OF
goods propose to travel over their route. stopping
as usual at Wayback and Jamestown and Smithvile
as of yorc but not at the inns winch the hiapta's
dignity with the name OF hotel
A Born Humorist.-"That boy of mine" said Bur
bank he put on his office coat surprises m, me
But he's full OF it. Why, DO you know what he said
no. what was IT," Burbanks assistant asked,
for ne always liked to appear TO be Interested in
''Iie came running out to meet me. as got OFT
oh. papa. where's Minnie?
Minnie who says l. ~
Hnd h@n Sas DO Ud lsnf inSs
why Minneapolis gays he ! tell you that
boys going TO be a hummer when ne grows up
cleveland Leader.
The new military law Of Illinois will force the
American Volunteers Bangton Booths religious
organization to change their uniforms. Policemen
Will not be permitted to wear overcoats fashioned
after those by army officers. The Gamma
Gael Guards Captain Thomas j. Ford's famous chi
cago Zouaves. the Aurora Iouaves. the Chicago
IInzzars boys brlgales and other semi military
companies throughout the State must change their
uniforms. For long time the officers OF the Ma
topal Guard have been trying TO secure an enact
ment which would prevent the indiscriminate wear
ing of uniforms and the carrying OF arms by In
dependent military organizations Now that the law
has gone into effect 1t is found that II Is more
sweeping In its effect than even its trainers expected
Burst of Genrrosity.-%you say that you want
money 10 buy food for "A hungry man whose face
you never saw up 20 this time. ,
Yes. Sir" replied Wandering Mike
ply I'm him. Washington Star.
An English trade paper says The latest Yankee
craze Is artificial almonds. They are made from
iurnlps and covered with coating of gelaIlne
When roasted they stated to be undistlngulsh-
able from the genuine
A beautiful Adjustment-Parke-I have joint
LoneNt;ood, You make an even thing of IT, Ell?
Yes put the money in and she draws 1t out
detroit Free Press.
A Chattanooga girl who was married in balloon
the other day Jumped out Of the balloon into the
river at the conclusion Of the ceremony, and when
she was nshed out reproached the bridegroom for
leaving her.
Mucn Too Good Natured-"Ny wife has the most
exasperatlng temper" said the wry little man.
II am surprised 10 hear IT," said the other man
Il Lad The impression that she was very good
That. jus, what's the matter with her. She
i Wafer wan wan almost ihisk enoaFh to carve And /
began saying things Never mind. deare, said she.
Jst think how nice 1t will he 10 scour the tinware
with - indianapolis Journal.
a Wabash College boy having been admitted to
the same fraternity to which his father belonged
introduced his next reques, for remittance with
Dear Father and Brother"
why do they keep that old man around here"
inquired the porers friend superciliously observing
bling at the desk. WHATS he good for'" Good
for about 10000. you ,chump." replied Dennis.
scornfuy. That's the old man" And such are the
eccentricities OF language that he friend under
stood without more words. Washington Times
The following eptaph is inscribed on the tomb OF
a North Carolina moonshiner Killed by the Gov
eminent for making whiskey out OF corn grown
from seed furnished by Congressman"
DO you suppose scorching Is the cause OF all
these bicycle faces seq"
"shucks. no In nine cases out OF ten It's the In
stallment plan."-(Truth.