The Sauk Centre herald., 1897-08-12
KELLEY NOT FIRST.
a CURE FOR DRUNKENNESS RE-
PORTED FROM THE LONG AGO.


Doctors" Simple Remedies-How the
."Medicine" Cured Joe Robinson With
out Asking the "Doctor."
1t was about the medicated whisky
cure which we proposed to speak. To
DIR. Kelley, who. living down at
Dwight, is almost neighbor, credit is
generally given for being the first per-
son who employed the pharmacopeia
for the purpose OF killing a drunkard's S
appetite But Dr.. Keeley is by no
means entitled to this credit. The first
physician whose medicine ever cured a
drinking man of his thirst was long
haired, spectacled old tourist who called
himself ''the indian DOCTOR" and who
operated down IL the neighborhood of
Belpre, o.
The doctor did not tell the secret
of his medicament, but three or four
boys who lived near the farmhouse
where he boarded had an inkling, be-
cause the boys had the contract for
catching the toads for which the doctor
paid them lO cents dozen.
While the DOCTORS abode has been
spoken of as farmhouse it was more
than that, for, being near a stockyard,
where trains "lay over," it was also
boarding house, or tavern, whittier the
drovers. came for entertainment.
Among the stookmen whose duties
brought them frequently to the yards,
and therefore to the farmhouse board
ing place, was man named Joe Robin
son, who had drunk whisky all the way
from st. Louis to Baltimore, with spe-
clal reference to Piedmont and the
country along the II mile grade of the
Baltimore and Ohio. Robinson was
firm, vigorous and vigilant drinker, one
who allowed no guilty dramshop to es-
cape. He was such shining light that
at least ID temperance societies were
working upon him at once, for it was
known that the credit for his reforma-
tion would mean much. But he resisted
all their entreating efforts.
This brings things up to one May
evening. Robinson had arrived at
Belpre with seven cars of hogs and
large, commodious and farreaohing jag.
He took the hogs into the stockyards
and the jag to the city of Parkersburg,
W. Va, just across the river, for he
wanted to trim and ornament it little
before retiring. Now it so occurred that
it was damp night, and Harry Stone
and Hughey Drain, the boys who had
the contract for supplying hoptoads to
the salve making Indian doctor, set out
on their own hook and without consul
tation with their employer to get flour
bag full of toads They were eminently
successful, and at s O'Clock they ap-
peared at the boarding house with a
peck of kicking, piping, shrieking spoil.
For good measure they had on this oc-
casion added three belated garter snakes,
two lizards and hoot owl. The family
was not happy.
Mrs. Bruce directed the boys to carry
their burden, OF the character of which
she had no idea, up to the doctors
room, he being out. The boys did So
or at least they thought they did-but
they turned the wrong corner at the
head of the stairs and deposited the
sack in the room to be occupied by Joe
Mr.. Robinson came home from Par
kersburg about midnight The evening
had been most successful one. He had
found IL new saloons. He entered the
room in the boarding house with the
that he was either the czar
of Russia or Napoleon Bonaparte, but
was not quite sure which. In his doubt
he collided with the paper flour bag
full of hoptoads and things. There We're
a few words of wicked derivation, and
then, turning up the light, Mr.. Robin
son looked to see what he had found.
Whore you, feller?" he inquired,
the bag. won't answer,
hey? Too p'lite to talk to drover,
huh? 'Lri! Take that!' And he aimed
an unsteady kick at the doctors ingre-
dents Then things happened
An active garter snake left the bag
in midair, and, alighting on a picture
frame. twisted and squirmed before Mr..
s view. Then the toads began !
raining around him, and when he felt
most surprised and interested the owl |
came forth and flew at the lamp. The
sack fell to the floor and lizard shot |
into heightened view and the rest of the
hoptoads leaped out into comparative !
liberty. Mr.. Robinson clambcred in
fright upon the bed and found himself |
in the presence of half a dozen of the
invaders which had been /
flung upon the counterpane by the force
of that very vigorous and masterful
kick. He crept behind the bureau and,
lol a garter snake dropped therefrom /
and made for the shelter of the closet. /
In the middle of the floor there were,
he believed, about $3.50 varied kinds of !
hopping visitors, and with wailing /
cry Mr. Robinson crashed through the
vortex and made for the door and bolted
For the night outside.
The next morning very pale and un-
strung man appeared at the farm board
ing house and answered to the name Of
Joe Robinson. He went up to his apart
ment and looked about for some signs |
Of the visitation of the night before. but
The toads and things, more frightened
than he, had escaped by the same door
through which he had gone, while the
careful hired girl had gathered up the
n 4 =