Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-07-08

lose your head| mo; held my nose.
Detroit Journal.
Arthur, dear, have you spoken with
father about our engagement" st
can't find him where-he owes me
some money."-Ex.
Dibman-Ddd your watch stop when
you dropped 1t on the floor? Magley-
OF course 1t did. Did you think it would
so through ?-Tit-Bits.
Minor Poet-Ah, how do? Did you
get my book sent you yesterday?
Hostess Delightful! l couldn't sleep
till I'd read it!-Punch.
He (synpathzing with his bride. who
has just been stung)-How intelligent
was that bee, my dear, to know that
we're on our honeymoon!-Judy.
Gadzooks-The Greeks might have
saved themselves by rapid advance
Zounds-They seemed to think they
could save themselves better by rapid
retreat.
Teacher (angrily)-Why don't you an
swer my question, Bobby? His Brother
Tommy answering for him)-Please,
sir, he's got peppermint in his speech.
-Tit-B,ts.
Reporter-That fellow who wanted
his name kept out of the paper called in
to-day. Oh, he was mad! Editor-What
about? Reporter-It seems we kept 1t
out.-Tit-Bits.
"How is this, count, they say the
stone in this ring you gave me is imi-
tationT "Oh, like enough. / never
was very strong in mineralogy. HUI
moristische Batter.
The Wife, think we ought to have
daughters voice cultivated, John, If 1t
doesn't cost too much. The Husband
1t can't cost too much, my dear. if 1t
will improve 1t any.-Puck.
Half the world" sagely observed Mr..
Billus, ''never knows what the other
half is doing" %Slat's generally true, "
retorted Mrs. Billus, eying him sharp
| ly, 'tas to the better half."-Chicago
Tribune.
Fuddy-You call money stamps, v
don't you? Duddy-Yes. Fuddy-And
money Is currency. So suppose that
when you speak Of an elastic currency
you refer to rubber stamps.-Boston
Transcript.
She-How funny that you should be a
Presbyterian, while your wife Is an
Episcopalian! He-What makes you
think she Is an Episcopalian? She
Didn't you say she was confirmed In
| valid New York Press.
"McGibbs is q contemplate creature. y
"In what particular way" "Well, he is
the kind of man who would send anoth-
err man a Sunday newspaper without
marking the article he wants him 20
read. Chicago Times Herald.
| Good Idea.-Mrs. Tenspot-Isn't II
| odd that the encores are always much
more enjoyable than the regular mum
bers ON the program? Mr.. Tenspot-
Yes. it is. l wonder why they don'i
sing the encores first ?-Judge.
A scientist says that every healthy
boy should be able to drop off to sleeT
In ten minutes. This does not mean
office boys, who are expected to do the
same thing in one and three-quarter<
minutes -Philadelphia Inquirer.
"You want to marry my daughter
eh?" said the practical man; "wen
what provision have you made for the
future?" "Oh, as 10 that" replied the
sutton. "I'n join the church right away.
philadelphia North American.
Souildig-I thought that baseball was
not played in England? McSwinigen-
It isn't Squildig-Then what Is this
diamond Jubilee they are making sucf
extensive preparations for In London
I-Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
"Mrs. Higgins is still wildly in love
with her husband" Does she put The
buttons in his shirts for him yet?'
mo: but he told her he sat up all nigh
playing poker without any stakes-ant
she believes im."-Detrolt Free Press
GLOW still they are" remarked Mrs
Fogg. apropos Of the young couple II
the next room. YES" replied Mr.. h.
sit reminds me Of my army days. l
was always wonderfully quiet just pre-
yious to an engagement."-Bostol
Transcript
81 notice that patriotic young WON
an has Joined the Greek army" "Well
IN that costume / don't see how the.
can distinguish her from the men.
srhat's easy enough. She can't run a
fast in skirts as they can."-Clevelans
Plain Dealer.
At the Intelligence Office.-"Have Vol
anv cooks that weigh 200 pounds?
Goodness! What do you want wit
such big oneT "Well, we would Xix
one that won't be always trying to rid
my wife's wheel on the sly."-Detroi
Free Press.
"You may talk as you like" said
solid citizen, but there was one goo
thing about the gladiatorial fights o
olden times" what was thatY 9Th
loser never had chance to talk to tn
npers and explain why he lost."-Bos
ton Herald.
"Say." remarked the war editor, g
don,t see how Turkey ever got he
Forces transported into Greece, d
vouY, Certainly" replied the politica
editor: 'she got hold Of all the passe:
Ask me something hard."-Cincinnai
| Commercial Tribune.
An Interpretations wonder" sal
Mrs. Cumrox thoughtfully, what tina
nice. old-fashioned lady means by put
ting II. z. c. on her card" "Tha
means she rs going away" replied he