Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-03-04
s1lzNg


Washington Star. -
watts-What was the longest prize
fight on record? Potts--vocai or man.
uai?-Indlanapolis Journal.
"Madge Is such peculiar girl"
"IIow so?" "She thinks she hasn't any
peculia rities."-Chicago Record.
Scribbler-Does your wife laugh at
your jokes In the paper? Punster-Yes,
but only on payday.-Commercial Ad-
vertiser.
He was a reckless youth. How old
are you?" he asked boldly. ''S'r." she
said, II am not old."-New York Even
ing Journal.
Editor Ito comic paragraphist-Your
jokes lack originality. Comic para
graphist tlrrltably)-So does your criti-
cism.-Tid-Bits.
Does your wife call you as many pet
names as she did when you were first
marriedT 'Er-not as many pet ones"
indianapolis Journal.
Smith-Jones seems to have no
thought for anything except his clothes.
Brownies; he Is perfectly wrapped
up In them.-Yale Record.
When a woman is on her wedding
trip she thinks her husband has quit
loving her as soon rs he gets interested
In IA bill Of fare.-New York Press.
''They say you have no sympathy for
the struggling poor" "MeY said the
accused gentleman. Il have nothing
but pathy."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Were you at the play last nightw
Yes" "How was it?" 'Out Of sight"
"Confound the women, why don't they
stop wearing those high hatsY-Chl-
cago Times-Heralh
| I'd rather be most any man
In hstory's class or flames bright bands
| Than Atlas, for he always had
A, world of trouble on his hands.
Cincinnati Tribune.
Van Duder-I want to know ssme-
thing, Miss Amy. Amy-I have thought
| for years, Mr.. Van Duder, that that
was just what you wanted.-Harlem
| Life.
Mrs. Bigsby let's her husband prac-
tice on his cornet at home" Whats
that for?" TT gives her an excuse to
be away all the time."-Chicago Rec
| ord.
| lis he scientific fighterT "Scien-
tific" echoed the pugilist contemptu-
ously. ''Why, he couldn't parse a single
| sentence Of his hallenge!-Washing-
| ton Star.
II know where you can get an eight
day clock for 20 cents" can eight-day
clock? How's that? "Oh, it lasts eight
days. Then you get new one. "-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Dorothy Is much encouraged about
her literary ambitions" "Why? Has
she sold apythingT mo; but her hand
writing Is getting worse and worse."-
Chicago Record.
Each day his roses as surprises
Come. IF he knew, the stupid thing,
That in two months at present prices
| He'd save enough to buy ring!
Life.
Contributor-What a surly sort OF
chap that fellow who writes your jokes
Is. Editor (sadly)-Yes, he is; and from
what he sends me I'm afraid he's been
out Of humor for a long while.-An-
swers.
Fuddy-There's tumble over oppo-
site. He prides himself upon the good
things he gets off In conversation. Dud-
dy-Should think he would; they occur
so seldom, you know.-Boston Tran
script.
| Little Borcham (relating his Alpine
observation-disclosures stood, the terrible
abyss yawning at my feet. That Brute
Brown-Was it yawning when you got
there, or did it start after you arrived?
New York Evening Journal.
Young wife-I always thought you
were the bravest man in the world
while we were counting. You wouldn't
| go to Canada In case of another war,
would you, dear? "Not IL the war was
with Canada."-Detroit Free Press.
Hattie-Whats the matter with Gus
tavus? He never calls any more. Hor-
tense-Why, one night when he was at
the house l called him "the light
Of my life," and papa came in and said
1t was about time the light was put out.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Humorists Wife-You must not trou-
Bile your papa just now, dear; in his
present mood he is not TO be trifed
with. Humorists Child-What Is he
doing, ma? Humorist's Wife-He is
writing things to make people laugh
| lid Bits.
Family Doctor-Well, let me congrat-
ulate you. Patient very excitedly)-
Am l going to recover? Doctor-No,
not exactly, but-well, after long con-
sultation we find that your disease Is
entirely new, and II the autopsy should
prove the fact we have decided to name
| Ii after you.-rid Bits.
Dennis--Arrah. Pat, and so yez have
come back to shtay? Why didn't yez
loike II out West in that place where
yez had such good job? Pat-Och,
it's no place fer Christian mon, Den
mis-. There amt llvin' soul about the
place that hasn't died wild the malay
rium.-Cle~elan Leader.
Visitor (grufiy)--Are you the editor3
Editor without looking up from lis
work)-I am. Stranger (more gruffiy)-
Do you hold yourself responsible for
everything appearing in the paper7
Editor (rising to his six feet three inch
es)-I do. What's on your mind? WIS.,
itor (meekly)-Oh, nothing at all, as
sure you. was under the impression
that the little man over In the corner
took all the responsibility.-Spa Mo-
ments.