New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-05-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Quick Dlagnosis-stranser (after an ex n,1
ton)-Well. doctor. what do you think? Have
the govt? -. J., . T.,
Great Physician-Hem! Er-"hat Is your III
Twelve hundred a year"
Weekly.
j. Vance Lewis, colored, who will be graduated
from the Chicago College of Law this year, Is
remarkable linguist Six years ago he could barely
read. Since then, according to THE Chicago Rec
ord" he has acquired a reading and speaking knowi-
edge of German. French and Spanish and Is also
accounted a good English scholar. He takes up
the study Of languages as diversion and proposes
to study the Hungarian and Russian tongues this
wear in connection with course In international
law He also hopes to get a knowledge of several
| Oriental languages In the next few years.
Charley" said young Mrs, T9rkns at the con-
Of heard ycu sny great tines that
what the country needs IS larger volume OF cir
cusNnS on mSd yon E Save SeaTd me say
We'll, Charley dear that being the case i Gon
think n yGI O Shscs 10 than nnYe
Star
II the old soldier pensioner Of Indiana. who be-
came so delighted on receiving his pension voucher
on May that he went off at once and married an
old sweetheart. could have anticipated his happy
union by one week he might not only have left his
name to the woman after he shall shuttle OFF this
mortal COLL" but she would have been comforted
by the right widows pension. The bill In
| troduced In Congress by Senator Carter acts
against this case. for 1t provides that mo widow
shall hereafter be entitled TO pension on account
OF the services of her husband In the Army or
Navy unless it is shown that the marriage which
her claim is based was contracted prior to the
first day of May, 1897" This is evidence that
the motto should ever be borne in mind to
put off till another day what you could have done
a week before just well
He evidently from the rural districts. and
be overlooked At last. when he was summoned
TO the operating-room and caught Whit OF chem
icals from the dark room" he hesitated the
threshold. half-suspciously Come in;
[ o Want n sa Hg sns sSess
fd taking Rs sa anyhns 9ou ike p Eo
Of sDSth head r ny or you'd oTed e
photographer. Well, now. I'll tell you how 1t is
mister embarked the old grsngsp eoRidS whd
been writin' to considerably about getttn
spliced reckon shed ru,her have Giser OF my
YOU" It didn't.-Gchicaso TimesH Herald
The towns Of woodsdale. Moscow. Springfield and
Fargo In Kansas which had population OK
eleven hundred In $780, have only population
OF eighteen, according to correspondent OF the
United States Investor" Hugoton has three
families out Of the four hundred that used TO live
there Nine children go to the $4,000 school,
house and there is standing, like a monument OF
folly n waterworks system that cost some Eastern
plutocrat $4,000 The town never paid cent OF
principal or interest oil this and never WILL
Blessings of the Bicycle-"Tm mighty glad my
wife coaxed into getting her Wheel said tho
Makes her happy eh?" said the fat passenger.
she Is so stuck on riding that she amt going 10
clean house this year indianapolis Journal.
mo action OF the Legislature" says THE Chi
cago Tribune" twill make such a name as Greater
New-York tolerable. IL is monstrosity OF three
words and four sylables to apply to city. Vari-
| OIL, suggestions embodyins harmonious combina-
tions, such as Yorklyn. Brookyork. Yorkbrook.
| yorkland etc. have been scorned. yet something
must be devised to simplify the appellation OF the
new CITY," II THE Tribune would take the trouble
| m read the charter OF the consolidated city 1t
would discover that its name Is the City of New
York.
A COMMUNICATIVE" said Mr.. Cumrox pensive-
ly 1T isn't the amount of time that thing takes
that regulates It's Importance"
What makes you think OF that?" inquired his
"Our daughter When graduation day comes It'll
only take her fifteen or twenty minutes to stand
up and inform the public about The Inconsistencies
or Modern Thought and the Ultimate Destiny Of
the Human Race But TN take her half an hour
more to make up her mind as TO what kind OF
syrup she wants In her soda water."-(washns-
ton Star
This is about the size OF Mr. Platts statement
when boiled down: "Me and the Reformers ought TO
be one and want to be the one
Enterprising Publisher--we are increasing our
circulation at the rate OF thousand papers daily.
Second Dltto-But how In time do you manage 1t?
Enterprising PublIsher-Easy enough. have
man at each OF the hotels where my paper Is
fie 10 clip out several Items here and there. This
makes every man who takes up the paper crazy TO
know what those Items were. and no sends out for
! a copy OF the paper. great Idea. tell you.-
! (Boston Transcript