The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-10-24
FOR FEMININE READERS
ADVICE TO HUSBANDS THAT THE
WOMEN WILL READ AND NOT THEY.
Aches and Pains often Caused by Lack
of Exercise--soFosis Sat stiIl and
Listened to Music.

1t is disposition rather than character,
which counts in married life. says writer
in the Boston Transcript. man may have
ali the virtues in the calendar yet be
most disagreeabIe creature to live with,
while another having prediction for
things naughty but nice" may yet be so
altogether sweet-tempered and delightful
that his wife cannot help but adore him. In
the first place, man must remember that
when his wife loses her belief in her power
20 charm she ceases to be charming AS
long as she is told that she is pretty
woman she will endeavor to appear so. If
he praises her affability, tact and sweetness
she will try to conceal the opposite. No
fault was ever cured by fault finding On
the contrary, appreciation of her virtues will
stimulate her to conceal her faults. To
please is a woman's meter. and If her hus-
band is only a critic she soon loses her chief
incentive.
ALLOW her also respectful amount of adj
miratfon from other men and let her see
that you also take pride and pleasure in
that admiration. To receive it is womans
prerogative and if she is permitted to re-
ceive it frankly and naturally the exag-
gerated sweetness of forbidden fruit will
not tempt her. Many woman gets into
mischief simply because her husband has
become too Indifferent or lazy to admire her
pretty gowns and personal charms, so she
finds appreciation elsewhere, and if he
jealousy objects, she may then purloin it
under the rose"
On the other hand, If your wife has be-
come fat, forty and commonplace don't
blame her for it. She has not become so to
spite you nor does she in all probability en-
n F1,..r
mind for an instant to make disloyal com
parsons between her and other women or
tell her how she has changed from the
goIden-haired angel of her twenties. You
may be sure she realizes it bitterly enough
herself.
If a friend says a pleasant thing about
her repeat it, but never listen to unkind
criticisms of her-even from your mother.
There never was mother who thought her
daughter-in-law half good enough for her
Politeness is the best lubricant for mar
ried life. During courtship, the man makes
the best of himself in mind, manner and
dress, yet after marriage, when many illu-
sionS are necessarily lost, lie needs these
far more. The admiration of his wife is
more necessary, yet more difficult to keep.
Do not allow the lover to degenerate into
the husband. A little expressed sympathy
is often better than checks, and box of
flowers sent to the mother of your children
Gee. If you have good reason to scold, try
not to be noisy about 1t. A woman prefers
petite i'll temper. A loud voice of rough
manner Will try her more than a thousand
bitter, accusations made with civil suavity.
And after you have scolded and she bursts
into tears don't bang out of the room re-
marking that you never could abide nervous
and hysterical women. Never find fault or
criticiSe your wife before the children or
servants. Much of your own discomfort de-
ponds upon their respect for her, but you
cannot 0hRX
you show so little respect.
Remember that the care and annoyance
Of business are fully equaled by the small
eXaSperationS of her household. If the cook
gets drunk and leaves you dinnerloss, or
the baby breaks the choicest bit of Dric-a-
brac, II is quite as trying to your wife as
is the frivoity of your typewriter, or the
stupidity of your partner to you If your
wife has ordinary intelligence, tell her
about your business. Men often think their
wives unreasonable in. asking for money
during hard times, but If they are kept in
Ignorance as to how that money is earned
and of the risk and difficulty and cease!ess
care of business, one should not blame her
for asking for what seems to her a. simple
matter of voiition. If you treat her as an
intelligent comrade instead of as a child,
there will be fewer domestic cyclones when
new gowns are wanted.
When you come home tired and fretfuI
the quiet house is a delightful rest and
change to you, but remember it is only
through her laborS IL is charming, and that
those four walls may seem prison In the
evening she too, may like a change and
rest.
Never laugh at or discourage her ambi-
uons-social or otherwise. Ambition is Of
ten but another word for growth"
AS you have your way in great things
allow her hers in small ones. She has to
live where and in whatever fashion Won
think neceSsary-to mold her life TO your
pattern, and She often feels like a square
peg in a round hole. SO if she prefers a
blue drawing room TO a yellow one, wants
you to put on a dinner coat in the evening
or asks you to give up evening at the
club for some pleasure do it-and what is
more, make believe you like it,
IN Iact, treat your wife as you fancy
you would have treated the .rst girl YOU
ever loved, who married-not~ you, but the
other man.