The Republican journal., 1897-08-12
Kansas Wit and Wisdom.

Cupid steals base every time lovers
look at the moon.
1t is a rare man who is not thrown off
his feet by applause.
Never go to lawyer when you want
assistance in settling fuss.
crazy man always has enough sense to
be able to shoot straight.
Every woman in telling of her sickness
says she suffered everything"
We say that after a man passes sixty,
his wife has no excuse to be jealous of
him.
A man who will work and is honest, is
worth all the evanglists now in the bust
ness
Nothing so effectually subdues a young
man with IA swell head, as marriage.
After a girl is twenty eight years old,
she doesn't believe in long engagements.
When you finally reach the river of Jor-
dan. you will not be the only pebble on
the beach.
a great many fathers sit up half the
night these nights to fan their wives and
children.
When a girl thinks she is awfully sweet,
she finds it hard to keep the opinion to
herself.
Marriage is usually the result Of a great
deal of cunning or ignorance, and very
little love.
To be popular with some people, all
that is necessary is to say THANK YOU
in a very loud voice.
Somehow, when an old maid finally
succeeds in getting married, her baby
never looks inst right.
What a scandal it would cause if an
whistled at his work
When a girl starts in to chase man.
she doesn realize how hard she works.
but you bet the people do
A preacher idea Of promising young
newspaper man is one he can work for free
church notices.
We have noticed that advertising So
licitors always have better opinion of
people than the bill collectors.
Before man and woman are married.
they argue question, after they are mar
ried they dispute about it.
There probably never was any one 50
eloquent be could make his hearers be-
lieye that he suffers all he claims
\ man can easily become notorious
these days by announcing his intention of
going to the Alaska gold fields.
Whenever you hear a man speak of him
self as high spirited" il nearly always
a sign that he is little bit silly.
The trouble is that by the time people
have leaned to laugh at their troubles.
they begin to show snagteeth
It doesn't make any difference how hot a
man is in summer, he is all right If he
doesn' look as if he perspired grease.
girl who has been given tile stony
heart, picks to pieces the woman who sue
ceeded her, instead OF going after the
man.
The occupations of ministers and under
takers are very much alike, except that
the undertakes act solemn only while Oh
duty.
Whenever woman's favorte doctor
loses patient by death, she always ex-
plains it by saying that he was not ''called
soon enough
When man shoots another man, in a
moment Of frenzy, and spends long time
in Jail, how often he must accuse himself
of being fool
A rich mans wife has better time than
poor man $ wife, but the richest man is
always the hardest working man in every
community.
If man takes good care of his health.
his life may be brightned here and there
by an opportunity to attend some doctor S
funeral
The unmarried men are becoming
more coy and more timid every day. and
the unmarried women are becoming more
aggressive and boider.
If it is true that woman makes her
husband, the fact that man who has
been married three or four times is nearly
always failure is another illustration of
the saying that too many cooks spoil the
broth.
Teacher. James, pass the sentence,
Isham stood on his head.
James (beginning) Isham is proper
noun, masculine gender, first person
Teacher-How do you make that out?
James - First person, Isham; second
person, Yeusham; third person, Hesham
Plural, first person, Wesham-''
Teacher-Next! [Chicago Tribune.
81 am very much Shocked said the
European statesman, cat the tone of
your countrys protest. 1t was not po-
lite.''
''Well," replied the man from the Unit
ed States, after some thought, "maybe
thew thoupht that what Won did 10 "a II