davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
JERMYN NEWS.
Accident to Joseph MOrcom--Nrs.
TrOtter's Misfortune - Personal

ACcINcHI 10 Joseph !UOGCCm"s NTS'
TrOtter's Misfortune - Personal
News.
Erie and Glenwood collieries will
work one and a half days this week.
Keystone. it is expected, will work
every day.
The Walker Hose company have ac-
Ceptcd the invitation of the Wilson
Hose company. Of Peckville, to attend
their fair on Thursday evening, the
23d. They will also furnish the enter
tainment that evening.
Mrs George Cole. of the Sweeney
House. is suffering from a severe at
tack of quinsy.
G. l.. Bells new house on Bacon street
is nearly completed, and Mr.. Bell eX-
poets to move into it about Jan. I.
Mr.. Frank Steele will move into the
house vacated by Mr.. Bell.
This morning a high mass of requiem
will he celebrated i'm Sacred Heart
church i'm the name of the Altar and
Rosary societies for the late Thomas
Brennan.
Mr., Michael McAndrew. Of the East
Side, is confined to his home with throat
trouble.
injury to one of his eyes Monday even
ing. He was i'm the vicinity of Van
kleeck's blacksmith shop when the
accident occurred. The missile came
from a toy gun in the hands of a little
boy. The injury, however, is not of a
serious nature.
John Lyons, formerly a resident of
Mayfield, but lately of Scranton, died
in the hospital there of drOpsy on Sun
day. The remains We're removed to
the home of his brother, Anthony, at
Mayfeld, on Sunday evening. The
funeral took place yesterday morning.
SeIGices We're held at Sacred Heart
church; interment i'm st. Rose ceme-
terry, Carbondale.
Mrs. John TrOtter, of Second street,
met with painful accident on Satur-
day, In walking across the stOOp out
side the house she stepped on a icy
board and turned her ankle. 1t was
at first supposed she had broken the
bone, but on examination DR.. Davis
found the bone was not broken. Mrs
Trotter complains of eXcruciating pain
and is unable to stand or put any
weight on the injured foot, which viii
probably keep her in the house fol
several days.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles +. Baker spent
yesterday in Scranton.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

ell and Junior Warden James z. Wat
kinS, esq sang a duet entitled. The
Two Sailors with much force and with
pleasing effect The tOaslmaster then
called upon Dr. F. l.. Van Sickle, jun
iOr warden Of KingsbuTv Lodge, L. and
\. NJ, of Olyphant, for a short address.
The amiablC doctor spoke of the true
meaning Of Masonry, its principles and
teachings. w. II. Hollistcr, Worshpful
master, Of Valley Lodge. f. and 4. NJ.
Of Piston, next addressed the guests
upon the nee nssity of more fratclnal
feeling and Masonic intercourse. Then
the postmaster introduced Prof. John
r. Watkins. of the Royal Academy of
Music and also a fellow toWnsman. lie
SANG "Fiana." by Stephen Adams,
with brilliant execution and elegant
voice Wursripful Master Watkin
Jones', of Hyde Park lodge No. 300 F.
and 4. NJ then followed with a short
address. Nj. T. Eutlcr Curl. OF Ban
COR Lodge, then spoke feelingly Of the
duties of Il Mason. DR. }. :. Porteus.
past m2ster Of Acacia Lodge, spoke
of the ancient origin of Free Masonry;
John r. Watkins then closed tho meet
ing with solo in his usual pleasing
manner. These present were. Mr.. and
Mrs. John II. Watkins, Mr., and Mrs.
r. r. Davis, Mr.. and Mrs G. !, Powell.
Mr.. and Mrs. w. II. HOllister. DR.. +.
l.. Van Sickle, L. j. Barrold, ], Budd
Reynolds. of Clyphant; w. NJ. Watllin
Jones. of Hyde Park; Godliet Cramer,
T.. 4. Curl. Nembers-Dr. w. l.. Van
Busllirk and Miss Hail. of Olyphant,
Edward p. Anderson, Mr.. and Mrs.
j. f.. Watkins, esd. William II. DaN-
enpurt. Andrew DOles, DIR. ]. 5. Por-
tues. A. f. D0ud, John MCCrndle, q,
T.. Davis and wife, Or. and Mrs. +.
Eugene Weston Mr.. and Mrs. w. c..
Thomas. Mr.. and Ms. S. g. Jones, Mir
and Mrs Thomas Evans, Mr.. and Mrs.
Alfred Hundle, Mr.. John \ Jones, Mr.
and Mrs. NJ NJ. Williams. Mr.. and Mrs.
Godlief Cramer, Mr.. and Mrs Sirabion
Fidd. Mr.. Menry Schulthies, Miss
Amelia Schulthies, Mr.. Frank Casw"ll,
and Thomas a, Evans, Waiters-Nrs.
Alice BrownWell, Misses Knapp and
Kinds.
The scholars of Miss Janet Tngles, of
No school presented her with beau
tiful cushion On Monday for a Christ
mas gift,
Mr.. Thomas Evans, q student at the
Keystone academy, FactOryville, is Wis
itng his father, William Evans of
! Washington street.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
GIVEN NINETY DAYS.
The o. and W. Have That Much
Tiup 10 Put I'm Gates.

The most important thing done at
the regular select council meeting was
the passage of a resolution giving the
ontario and Western Railroad company
ninety days in which to put uD safety
gates at all their grade crossings with
in the city limits. The corporation had
been notified before to do this, but did
not heed the notices. The resolution
passed last night fixes a penalty of S.
a day for every day-after the eXpir-
alton of the ninety days-the crossings
go unprotected.
a resolution was also passed author
izing the purchase of a watering
trough from r. b. Robinson The
trough has been in use some time,
but the city controller would not sign
warrant. in payment of ii, because
he could find no authority for its pur-
chase. He is a strickler on technical
tiles and the action is to appease him.
There is some prospect that the city
will be provided with hose, after much
quibbling a resolution was passed au-
thorizing the city clerk to re-advertise
for bids, A number Of bills were or
dered paid.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
LOCALS.

George L. Tabel, formerly proprietor
Of the Burnett house, of Stroudsburg,
will take charge Of Hotel Anthracite
in a few days.
James Munn's spirited team of grays
ran away on South Church street Mon
day evening and demolished the We
hicle. News Dealer w. H. Roberts cap
tured the horses and prevented fur
ther flight.
The death messenger claimed for its
own yesterday the spirit of Mrs. Mary
Ann Simmons. Deceased was Ga years
of age. and was born at YaXom, Eng
land. She is survived by her husband
and FIVE children; the latter being Mrs,
Louis RosenGaant, at whose home, on
Spencer street, she died; Mrs. George
Ross. of this city; Mrs. Robert Scri.ber
and Charles Simmons, of Livingston
Manor, N. Y, and William Simmons,
of Roscoe, Sullivan county. One broth
err Charles Hart, of Herrick Centre,
also survives her.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
TWO NARROW ESCAPES.
Terrifying Experiences OF Men in the
Delaware and Hudson Yard.

Michael Gilgallon,of Fallbrook street,
came within an ace of losing his life
yesterday afternoon at half-past four
o'clock. He attempted to board a ca
hoose just below the Union station,
but missed his footing and fell under.
lie was rolled over the icy and uneven
surface for more than a hundred feet,
until he reached the freight switch,
just above the depot, where he dropped
i'm a depression made to facilitate the
operation of the switch. The caboose
passed over him and in less than a
minute score of men We're at his side,
expecting to witness mangled form
Shortly he rallied from his da2ed con-
dition and walked home, belng--with
the exception of few scratches and
bruises-none the worse off for his ter
rifying mshap.
William Thomas, head brakeman of
the Delaware and Hudson switching
crew, slipped from car yesterday and
lay PROSTATE on the ground while two
gondolas passed over him. The wheels
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
GET FULL VALUE.

In subscribing for a newspaper you
should be just as particular to get full
value for your money as you are when
you buy groceries. Each edition of the
Tribune ought to convince anyone who
is open to conviction that in Lacka-
wanna's great morning daily there is
more value for the subscription price
than in any paper obtainable outside
the big metropolitan dailies. In fact
il far eXcels those in worth to people
of this county. Its corps of enterpris-
ing correspondents thoroughly cover
every city and hamlet in this section
in which you may be interested. All
the county, capitol, state. national and
foreign news is served fresh and in
unsurpassed style. Competitors high
ly compliment the Tribune by imitat-
ing even the details of it's news policy
and Typographical style. Get your
moneys worth by taking the Tribune.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
THE HOSPITAL.
Annual Session of the Board OF
Directors of the Institute.

At the annual meeting of the board
of directors of the Carbondale Hospital
association the following officers were
elected: President, William Walker:
vice president, j. q. Shepherd; treas
urer, James StOtt; secretary. NJ. r. Nor
ton. Four applications were received
for the position Of superintendent. but
no action was taken by the board
NJ, F. Norton donated his salary Of
800 for the past year to the treasury.
This gracious act was duly appreciat-
ed by the directors and the secretary
received a hearty vote of thanks
The average number Of beds occu-
pied during the year was seventeen
and twenty were in use Sept 30. The
total number of patients trr ated during
the existence of the institution is 627.
Two hundred and thirty-une patients
were treated during the year ended
oct, 81. one thousand seven hundred
and twenty-five prescriptions were
compounded and given. The aggregate
number of days patients were support
ed was 6222. There We're nine physi-
clans and surg ons i'm attendance. The
average cost of each patient per week
was $7.46 2-1O.
The statistics Of the individual cases
are as follows:
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Presents
for Every Girl

Fine Hand Bag 25c. each
Beautiful Leather Bag 80 and 40c.
Wonderfully cheap.
Fancy Wool Hoods, in all colors, so and 75c
Very pretty.
Beautiful Silver and Gold Hat Pins IS and SOC.
bargain
Lovely Stick Pins at 5 and loc
Worth 3 times
Beautiful Fancy Stockings 25c. pair.
We're Soc
Handsome silk Waists $2.9S.
Worth $780,
Extra Fine Cloth Capes $500 and 5000 up.
Bargains
Beautiful silk For Waists 25c.
Worth
Fancy Silk for Waists IS and SOC
Worth double
Extra Quality Corset 5Oc. each.
cent kind.
Best Quality Corscts soc. each.
Worth
Beautiful Trimmed Hats So. so and S2.gS
Look at them.
beautiful Sill; for Skirts SOC.
Pretty PlaidS for Waists I2Ic.
Worth 2oc.
Extra Fine Kid Gloves 75c. pair.
Were $50 a pair.
Fancy Lace Collars so, Is and ST.oo
Very handsome.
Pocketbooks 25 80 and 49c.
Extra Fine Flannel Underskirt SI.oo
Worth $50.
Pretty White Lawn Ties 10, I2l and I5c.
Very stylish.
Good Quality Jersey Vests 25c.
Worth 39c anywhere.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Presents
for the Men

Fancy Silk Tics % Cents.
The regular 50
Fancy silk Ties 40 Cents.
The usual "a kind.
Fancy Windsor Ties IS Cents
The regular 35 cent quality.
Fancy Suspenders IS Cents.
Worth anywhere 30 cents.
Beautiful Silk Suspendcrs so Cents.
Worth %
Pretty Box and Suspcnders Is Cents.
\ rare bargain.
4 Ply Collars, the Best, for 25 Cents,
All styles.
4 Ply Cuffs, the Best ) and 25 cents.
None better.
White Laundried Shirts 50 and Is Cents.
Best in town.
silk Hose Supporters IS Cents per Pair
None good.
White Lawn Ties, Dozen 10 and s Cents.
Real bargains
White Lawn Bows 10, I2!!, IS up to 25c. Each.
Best Cashmere Hose 10 Cents per Pair.
Extra Fleeced-ncd Shirts and Drawers 40c.
Worth - ceas.
Very Strong and Heavy Shirts IS Cents.
Best Styles Jersey Shirts, so, Is, and Sr.oo
Best Kinds Heavy Gloves 25, 80, 40 up to SI.oo
Pair. Very good
Good Quality White Handlicrchiefs 3 ior 25c.
\ bargain.
Extra Fine White or Colored 1andkcrchies
for 25c
The same Bargain in Coors at for 25c.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
PURELY PERSONAL.

Otto Wagenhurst, the celebrated foot
ball coach, who recently took up his
residence In Scranton, visited friends
in this city yesterday.
Mr.. and Mrs, Frederick Thomas are
at Palisade Park, n, j., visiting Miss
Margaret Thomas, who is at a hos
pital there.
Miss Verna Bigelow has gone home to
spend Christmas. She was accompanied
by Miss Edna Wells,
Professor and Mrs. G. l.. Doty, of
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Presents for ........ .:....:.
.u....
Those We Love

Beautiful Dolls, many kinds, CSC. ...
Bargains.
Large and Exquisite Dolls so and 75c
Worth one-half more
Large Kid-body Dolls OSc. and SI25.
Worth double
Fancy Albums all kinds OSc. and SI25.
Very fine
Elegant Albums $I.5o to $375.
Perfect beauties.
Fancy Head Rests 25c. each
Worth 50 cents.
Fancy Mirror, Comb and Brush ST. to $I.4o
Finest Mirror Sets 81 so to $500.
Sec these sure.
Fancy Perfumes 10, IS and soc.
Great values.
Pretty Handkerchief Boxes 40c, Is and $T.oo.
Very cheap.
Lovely Feather Fans 25c. up to $I.5o.
Arc a bargain.
Fancy Sterling Brushes SIS
Worth $3.50.
Beautiful Manicure Sets 4Oc. up.
Very cheap.
Pretty Collar and Cuff Boxes, all kinds.
All prices.
Best Quality Chdrens Refers $I.0S
Worth $LOo.
Lovely Silk Caps 25c. up.
Many styles.
Extra Quality Wrappers $roo.
Worth SL5O.
Best Quality Wrappers $I.25
Worth $1.75.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Presents
for the Home

Here is list to give your wife, your mother
or your friends wiic--or any friend who keeps
house Prices about onc-hali.
Sx4 Grey Blankets 45c. pair.
Worth 59c.
I'M Blcachcd Domestic 4lc. yard.
Wortl &c
Iox4 Blcachcd Shcetng l5c yard.
Worth 22c
IONA Brown Shecting ,! C. yard.
Worth lSc
Turkey Red Damask 2Ic. yard
Worth
9x4 Grey Blankets SOC. pair.
Worth 75c
Turkish Towels 3 for 25c.
Worth half more.
Fancy Red and Black T'lanncs nc yard.
Worth 12'2c.
Good Bed Comforts Is and Soc
Worth Il more
Extra Bed Comforts $I.oo and SI25.
Worth Onc-third more
lox4 Ready Made Sheets SOC.
Worth CSC
5x4 Ready Made Cases loc.
Worth ljc
Extra Curtain Scrim &C.
Worth &c.
Beautiful Bed Spreads Soc. and SI.Oo,
Worth double
Fancy Red Table Covers Csc. to $500.
Grand bargains
Extra Fine Towels Ioc., I2!c,, T5c. up to soc.
Worth Y more.
White Damask Table Linen ,, and $50
Extra value.
z2-nch Table Linen 45c. a yard.
Worth -iC
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
HIGH SCHOOL STATISTICS.

The High School journal says that
in all 2lS students have graduated from
the Carbuudaln high school. Two Of
these are dead: Lizzie Collins. and
Bridget Gavin. OF the 21S there were
80 boys and l63 girls. OF the boys eight
are married and of the Girls 20. Two
Of the girls are widows. Only one
Alumnus has married an Alumni; F. F.
Forbes and Anna Moon. There were
l6 Glasses in all Two were all girls, 'S}
and "a The first class graduated in
1851, In 1882 there was no class. The
smallest class was in 1883 consisting of
three members; and the largest was tine
class of "a consisting cf 27 members.
This class also had the largest number
of boys, namely II.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
COUNCIL MEETING.

The common council met last even
ing and concurred with the select
branch in the approval of a number OF
bills, the settlement of which will make
Christmas merrier in some homes. The
body refused TO concur in the hose
resolution, and unless the upper house
approves the commoners' action, the
city will remain In danger.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

for the doctor ON Spencer street, last
evening, her horse became frightened
at a passing hand-sleigh and dashed
off, throwing Mrs. Malaun heavily to
the earth. She was carried home un-
conscious. Among other injuries she
sustained a severe scalp wound. She
suffered from shock, and at last ac-
counts Her condition was serious.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
STABBlNG AFFRAY.

Michael Malloy was sent TO the Coun-
ty Jail yesterday for stahbing John
Rurke early Tuesdy morning. They
quareiled on upper Belmont street and
the use of the knife was the result
ButEe WIS cut in the abdomen. He
is now at the hospital getting along
as well as can be expected.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
CARBONDALE,

GThe Carbondale correspondence Of The
Tribune has been placed in the hands of
Mr. G. r. Mum, Salem avenue and
Church street, to whom news Items may
he addressed. Al complaints as to ir-
regular delivery, etc, should oe made to
". T. Roberts. news aEcnt.l
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Presents for
Your Good Friends

Take your pick of these-most anything that
YOU can think of or imagine is here-then if you
don't see ii in this list come into Our stores and
our sales people will tell you just what you want
Beautiful Handkerchefs 3 for 25c.
Worth anywhere onc-thild more.
Lovely Handkerchiefs ? for 25c.
Truly worth double.
Extra Fine Handkerchefs at IS, 20, IS, 35c.
And upto the very best kinds, prices very low.
Ladies Silk Initial Silk Handkerclrefs for csc
A bargain,
Gents Initial Silk Handkerchiefs 49c each.
The best sort.
Gents Fancy Silk Muff1ers at Is. %, SI.25;
Black Satine Skirts rs 3d. SI.25 and ST.5o.
Real bargains.
Fancy Wool Waists SIoo, $I,25 and SI.3o
All colors.
Ladies Kid Gloves SI,oo pair.
The best in town.
Ladies Feather Boas 75c, $loo and SI.25.
Wonderful values
Ladies Fancy Umbrellas rs % and $I,25.
Worth one-third more
Gents Fancy Umbrellas 75c, 81, $G.5o and up.
Real bargains
Ladies Fancy Lawn Aprons Ioc, rs and 2oc.
Ladies Lovely Aprons so, Is: and $l;oo
Ladies All-Woo Suits SIoS.
Worth anywhere $}.i9.
Ladies' All-Wool Suitings 25c. yard.
Worth ~ cents
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
TAYLOR NEWS.


MasOns - Personal, and Other
News.
Tie installation ana banquet of the
Acacia Lodge No. $40, FAM, at Web
er's rink. on Monday evening, was a
very elaborate affair and was well an
ranged The following officers were
installed by District Deputy Grand
Master r. F. Wells, esq, of Scranton;
Worshipful master, DR.. w. Van Bus
kirk; warden, Edward A. Anderson:
junior warden, James f.. Watkins, esq;
treasurer. William II. Davenport; Sec
retary, Andrew Doles, esq. Following
the installation ceremonies an elabor-
ate banquet was held. The following
programme was carried out. Piano
solo. by Prof. T. r. Davis. Then the
toastmaster, Master Mr., Griffith T.
Davis delivered an address pertinent
to the ladies. II was full OF witicisms
and sound advice. Mr.. GeOrg }. Pow
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
raekawaltl1a GoulltV.

creased one coat sleeve from the wrist
To the shoulder and Mr.. Thomas is
thanking fortune he is not minus an
arm.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

Easton, will spend Christmas with the
latter's parents, Mir and Mrs. Hugh
MCCOmb. of Garfield aVenu-.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

The value of real estate is quoted at
$2S964,02, the personal property at $4,-
22l.3S, making a total valuation of S33,-
lS540.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Christmas
...... thnr.
Greetings.
.f"
t
Holiday
News.



MoNPs
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
DR., MALANN'S WIFE INJURED.

While sitting in her carriage, waiting
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

The orchestra will also be present at
the o'clock mass. The same music
will he rendered as at the late mass,
eXcepr that the opening hymn will be
Haydn'a Holy Night" and the Cffer-
tory piece "Adestc Fidelis."
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
CHRISTMAS MUSIC.

Tho Mozart orchestra will assist in the
rendition of Christmas music at ST.
Roses church, Following is the pro-
sramme for the 1890 service:
1 lnEnlncc hA.nnnn---,. 4 dL.A. Ini.Inli.-,,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

THE TRIBUNE PUBLISHING co.
North Washington avenuc-Liuotype
Composition of ar kinds quickly done.
Facilities unsurpassed in this region.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Schools.

G. r. CLARK & CO., SEEDAIEN AND
Nurserymen; store liG Washington ave-
nue.; green house, 1850 North Main ave-
nuC; store telephone, 7S2.
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22

MEGARGEE BROTHERS. PRINTERS
supplies, envelopes, paper bags, twne.
Warehouse, l30 Washington aNauus,
Scranton, Pa. p,
The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-22
Hotels and Restaurants,

THE ELK CAFE, 1875 AND TT FRANK
lin avenue. Rates reasonable. H'
+. ZIEGLER, Proprietor.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-09-11
WHOLE NO.. 354.

kept 'out of mischief he need not 20
to school, This was his joke, for the
boy had quite too much that was of use
on his hands to have any time for mere
skylarking or tomfoolery.
What Will did was to go to see the
publisher of The Argus. He made
bargain with him to come at every
evening and set type till 10, when, ex-
cept on ordinary occasions, The Argus
went to press, and Will would not
make the bargain till the foreman
agreed that Silas Turgot might come at
and stay till s, that Will should cor
rect his proof for him and that the boy
should be paid for what he did This
was the kingdom of heaven for the boy,
and Will kept him to his other duties by
threatening to take him away if he
failed. Few men in the office could set
type faster than Will He promised his
mother that while this engagement
lasted he would sleep an hour every aft
ernoon, and so it proved that when
Wills father came home "for good" in
June Will had $3.50 in bank as the up
shot OF his winters typesticking.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-09-11
Reflections of q Bachelor,

l wonder why girl always goes up
stairs pigeontoed.
If woman loves a man, she will for.
give him anything-except not loving
her.
You can-slap woman's face as often
as you please if you wear kid gloves
when you do it,
The first thing girl says after you
kiss her is that she hadn't the least idea
you were going to.
Some widows would have the nerve,
if they married again, to hang the pic
ture of their first husbands up in the
bedroom.
The first thing some men will do
when they get to heaven is to look
around for the men who owed them
money when they died.
A woman will forgive man for kiss
ing her good deal sooner than for act
ing sorry for it afterward.
When girl is saying goodby to a
man in the hall. why does she stand up
80 close and put her hands behind her?
Before girl gets married she longs
for man whom she can worship; after
she has been married year she is gen.
orally satisfied if he doesn't act ugly at
meal times. New York Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-09-11
A GREAT BARRIER.

1t Was the Ono Thing That Kept a Dea.
Friend Away.
My wife finished the note, with her
forehead gathered into Fuckers as deep
as though she were trying to make hel
accounts balance.
"What is it, my dear?' l asked.
"Why, it is from Mrs Tucker" she
replied slowly and thoughtfully, "tell-
ing me that poor Mary is dying and is
extremely anxious to see me-
"Well, why don't you go at once?''
asked
"Why, I don't see how 1 can," re.
piled my wife.
"Why not?" I demanded impatiently.
"Its broad daylight, it ism It raining,
and you have a new dress and hat.
"Oh, l wouldn't ever think of such
things with such summons" pro.
tested my wife.
"Why don't you 60 then?" I urged
"Or do you insist upon riding? Shall
60 over and borrow Thompson's wheel
barrow and trundle you there?''
ooh, John, don't see how you can
joke at such time as this" responded
my wife, almost in tears.
"Madam, retorted, "you mistake
am not joking. What feminine fool.
ishness prevents you from Immediately
granting the last request of very dear
friend is beyond my poor oomprehen.
sion, that is all. Will you kindly en-
tighten me?''
Goodness knows" said my wife,
IT'D go through fire and water fol
Mary, but under the circumstances
don't see-I really don't see how can
call there now.'
"Why not?" again demanded sharp.
ly.
because, explained my wife plain.
lively, "you see Mary owes me call. "
New York Sunday Journal.