The Mason County journal. [volume] (Shelton, W.T.) 1886-1927, 1897-09-10
* ABEL, y
Hubby AND THE RAM.
The Story Backwoods Landlord
Can't Help Telling.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS!
/" once 1 was passing through the

nNCE L was passing through the
little town Of Greenville, in the
Pennsylvania hemlock belt" said John
Gilbert, the travelling groceryman, land
stopped at the tavern there. The only
man | saw at first was a jolly-looking,
red-faced little old man, on whom care
or sorrow seemed to have never laid a
finger.
"'Fine day. I said, getting off my
blackboard.
'P'tic'lar fine an cheerful, the little
old man said. 4 hain't see a cheerfuller
day in 40 year an BETTER
"Then he went down the road whist
ling. | was gazing after him yet when
come one said:
Its leetle queer that Uncle Abel
went away without waitin' to see
whether you want goin' to buy sumpin'
an asst him in; but he's feelin' over
powerin glib to-day, an mebbe thought
nothin' could make him feel any bet
ter
''This speaker, as l saw when turned
to look, was tall and slim and lanky.
and was whiting a stick. He had come
from the barn, and, as found, was the
landlord. walked in.
"'Yes,' said the lanky man, Uncle
Abel is feelin' overpowerin' glib to-day.
You wouldn't take him to be a lone an
lorn widderer, which the pardner of his
bosom was only laid away yiste'day,
now, would your
II had to admit tha% the old gentle
man was trifle clipper and cheerful
for one SO recently bereaved.
YES the landlord went on, Aunt
Huldy's left Uncle Abel at last. 1t was
sort of an accident like, though. I
don't think she ever would a-thought O.
dom of it, cause Uncle Abel was four
that Aunt Hubby had handled, an she
had wore black bombazine fer three on
'em, an it was jest as good as ever, that
black bombazine was, an there amt no
hind o doubt that she had u stiff idee
o wearin' it fer Uncle Abel, an meb-
he fer somebody that had the courage to
be No. 5. You see, Uncle Abel is the
harmlessest man that ever sot round,
an Aunt Huldy's disposition was sot
sumpin' like cross-cut saw, an when
she got to movin' she was ripper. How
would some fresh tansy scrunched in a
glass and moistened with about three
fingers O J'maky rum strike you?'
II was willing to risk it, and the lanly
but garrulous landlord scrunched the
tansy and moistened it per recipe.
CO.
scrunched and moistened for himself
also, and taken pay for both. Aunt
Hubby was a ripper when she got to
movin', and the trouble was she was
movin' most O. the time. I've knowed
Uncle Abel to roost in an apple tree Oh
his clearin' allsnight, waitin' for Aunt
Tuldy to quiet down, an I've heerd him
say, more'n wunst, that it was a good
thing he'd been kicked in the head by a
mule wunst and. got over it, or he'd be
afeared O the consekences il Aunt Hull
ely got to movin'.
"'Aunt Hubby she was tremendous
set agin Uncle Abel goin' fishin', an
Uncle Abel he'd ruther go fishin' than
to the circus. Last week he couldn't
hold out no longer, and he went over
to Ben Runnels' pond to troll for pick
erl. The fact is, though, that the pond
amt Ben Runnels, cause there ain,t
no setch person as Ben Runnels, nor
hain't ben this 20 year an better, an
when there was Ben Runnels he didn't
own the pond. The last day there ever
was Ben Runnels he went fishin' on
that pond. If the fishin' hadn't ben so
uncommon good that day Ben mowt be
with US yit. Ben had half pint O. fish
worms with him in an old tomattus
can, an half a gallon O. worm o. the
still in jug. This was for exhilaratin'
purposes. Ben alluz exhilarated arter
ketchin' fish, but the fish bit so fast
that day that they KEEP Ben buster than
usual exhilaratin', so that when folks
went to see what was the reason Ben
didn't git home that day, an found the
boat upset an Ben an the jug floatin'
in the pond, there was less than two
little jiggers of exhilaration left in the
jug, but there was more than five gal
len O water in Ben. It wasn't drown
din that killed Ben, some folks thought
They said it was the sudden washin' OF
all the exhilaration outen him by Sc
much water gittin' inter him that done
it. Ben not bein' used to setch over
powerin' Disappointment. An. that's
the way Ben got the title to that pond
an it's ben called Ben Runnels' pond
ever sence.
swell, there's where Uncle Abel went
"My boy came from school one day
with his hand badly lacerated and
bleeding, and suffering great PAIN"
says Mr.. E. ]. Schall, with Meyer Bros.
Drug Co., St. Louis, Mo. III dressed
the wound, and applied Chamberlain's
Pain Balm freely. All pain ceased,
and in a remarkably short time It
healed without leaving scar. For
wounds sprains, swellings and rheu-