, 1897-09-23
TOO MUCH FOR HIM.

NPoA bAS Ill.,, IL Liz /
signs which he let escape
Seemed windy evidence that affairs with
him were in a desperate shape.
Delinquent subscribers come not in to
gladden. his heart with coin,
Twas many a day since he'd slowed
away a silver piece in his groin,
And his wife had tod him thai very
MORN, with a sort OF hungry frown.
HIS dinner that day would be turnips
straight, with water to wash them
down.
He'd c%hronic!ed every birth and death.
with a comment On each event,
Had ~'personaled" every man In camp, i.
he only a fishing went,
A. every wedding. no matter il the bride
was a honey fright,
He'd laud her comeliness to the skies:
just flatter her out OF sight,
II" Oxen said that the minister was a
Talmage Of e.oqusnce,
The brain Of the young attorney at law
a bonanza Of legal sense
In short. he'd puffsd every living soul.
from the mayor to hummer jim.
Yet never a thank you" had come his
way, nor a dollar been thrown TO
him.
While mus rejecting he heard a step.
and a heart-warming "Howdy-dJ,
| reckon you're the editor man; I've bin
a lookln' fur you.
I'm Of Sam Bass q The Two-X ranch,
bin akin yer papsr a year,
An | want you to keep it a slidin' along;
I've got the ~spondu,ix here.
tell you, pardner. the OF Gazette is n
hummer. from top 20 toe!
My woman says she'll quit keepin' house
If it stops a comm by Jo!
An that reminds me, I brought a crock
o butter, Of her own make,
An throwed you IN a h~indquarter O. beef
jes' sorter fur Friendship sake.
An Toni guess you remember Tom?
Got married last week, you know
He tod me to tell you that piece you
writ about the affair want slow;
You said his gal was a rural sprite,' with
angel brand on her smile,
An here's $40 that Tom sent in to show
that he likes yer style.
An here" But the rancher heard a
gasp. the editor toppled Ger
And fell with a dull and sickening thud
on his denis uncarpe ed floor!
The visitor knelt DER the PROSTATE form
and lifted the helpless head,
But the ten-dollar shock had done its
work: The editor man was dead!
AN OLD-TIME DUEL.
Il heah somebody talkin' bout folks
Gghtin' dueis crost de wa,er," said an
cd Georgia darby. but my! my! dey
doan fight no duels now like dey use
err
Ever witness one?" he was asked.
Many o one, sub! Blu, dat wuz befo'
de wah, en- endurin' OF It,"
We'll, tell us about EN-"
Dell, sub, | des got time enough ter
tell you bout one. whar my ole marsier
wuz de leader. Yuo see, he wuz a cap'n
in dewar.
Yes"
En- he had a sweetheart; en- while he
wuz a-fghtin' n'er felier come erlong en-
lake his sweethear from him."
That was bad"
Yes. sub. you right it wuz, en- ez soon
es he hearn I'll of it what did he do but
git a furlong en- come trompin' home"
And what happened them"
We'll, sub. de cap'n wuz SO mad he
wouldn't notice de gal. but SEN d let,
ter ter de Teller what sparkin' her en-
challenge him ter fight.
DE Teller wuz game. en- he come ter de
scratch like a nan.
One mawnin' early de oap'n wake me
up. en- ne en- me en- some yu;her white
geniemens go in a carriage en- driv ter
de woods, whar de yu her fel.er what
loved de gal, wuz a-waitin' fer him..
Den we got out. N some err dem
marked eff de groun' en- dey took dey
places en- blazed away!
4 de fusl crack de cap'n winged his
MIN, en- down he fel, ker b,aam, wild de
blood streamin' all roun' him.
KILLED him. did he?"
I'm comm ter dat terreckIy. Dey
took him up for dead-dey did, en- cad
him ter his house.
Den de cap'n went ter whar he sweet
heart live al en- tel her what he done.
We'll. sub. dat gal wuz de braves gal
| ever see. She stood right dar. she did.
en- Looked at de cap'n Ike she could kill
him. Den she ru: on h:r hat an wen,
rum de house like mad,
She went en- won't tell she fCun' whas
de yu;her feller wuz. en- de way she tax,
ed ter him en- kissed him wuz a sight.
JIn she said she'd stay right dar en- nuss
him-iive or dead. En- she wuz gooA
ez her word.
Mex day de cap'n say ter me: 'Whas
is she?'
e when l tell him what she wuz
a-doin' Of he wuz madden dan ever.
DE :eiler what he shot KEEP on a.
mend:n', do it wuz hard fer de doctor
ter git ter him fer de gal a-kissin' him.
en- de cap'n fur!ough run out en- he had
ter go back ter KILN Yankees. He wuz
so mad dat he killed mo'dan ever, en-
dey'd made him a gin'ral fer it ef Mr..