The Caldwell tribune. [volume] (Caldwell, Idaho Territory [Idaho]) 1883-1928, 1897-05-22
NO. &c.
The earnest question of the hour,
And general theme, no doubt,
Is not of love or politics

But, ''Win the coal hold out?"
Chicago Record.
Remains to be seen: The boy who
has an appointment with the teacher
after school is dismissed Boston
Transcript.
Kean-Isn't your wife afraid to drive
that horse? Steam-Not at all. It's
the people she meets who are scared
Hartford Times.
First Office Boy-It says "our hero
now partook of frugal repast." What
does that mean? Second Office Boy
Quick lunch.-Puck.
Husband-Why should you blame me
because we were late to the theater2
Wife-You forget, dear, that you hur-
ried me up so.-Puek.
"Wobbles rides his bicycle in his fat
now" In his fat?" Eyes; it's steam
heated, and he has to scorch up and
down the hall to keep warm."-Life.
l went into the theater,
But left it with a sigh;
The play was long, the jokes were broad,
The hats were very high.
-PickMe-Up.
do you think opals are unlucky?"
inquired the superstitious man. YES"
was the reply. my wife wants Que,
and it's going to cost me $5O."-Wash-
ington Star.
Does your latest novel enjoy a large
sale?" he inquired. 81 don't know
whether the novel does or not" replied
the author, "but do."-Chicago Times
Herald.
Rural Teacher-What current event
of great interest can you give me this
morning Small Girl (eagerly)-My ma
has just made twenty tumblers of Jel-
ly.-Judge.
Willie-It's always in damp places
where mushrooms grow, isn't it, papa2
! Papa-Yes, my hoy, els that the cea-
son they look like umbrellas papaT-
Yonkers Statesman.
"Did you ever get so mad that words
failed your "Yes-once." "When
was that?" Just one-eighth Of a sec
ond after called a prize-fghter
llar."-Chieago Record.
Mudge-Oh, yes, we had real lively
time, Simmons and 1. 1t cost us near
ly $50. Wickwire-Yes, l saw Sim
mons this morning, and he told me he
spent $45.-Indianapolis Journal.
Come, Julie, let's go and have
friendship oyster stew together"
"Frlendship oyster stew! What's that?"
'Why, you pay for mine, and I'll pay
for yours. New York Journal.
She-And you say that you have
never been in love? He-Never. have
thought l was, seventy-fve or eighty
times but 1 always found out after
ward that 1 wasn't.-Somervili4 Jour.
nal.
The subordinate-HeTe is a letter
from a young woman wanting us to
give some of the legends about the ORR
gin of the fan. The Chief-Turn It
over to the baseball editor.-Indian-
| apolis Journal.
However ling the line may be
With civic folk and troopers,
Each marcher proudly feels that he
Is the grandest in that pageantry;
The rest are merely supers.
Washington Star.
"And is she really the trained singer
she claims to beY' Beyond a doubt.
She can sing Comm Through the Rye
SO that nobody can tell what it is with
out looking at the program."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
First Doctor-Well, that's just like
these actressesI Second Doctor-What
Is? First Doctor-Why, that Miss
May Cupp won't let us look into her
head with the X ray until she makes
J up her mind.-Puck.
Couldn't Stand Alone.-"They tell me
! Van Wither is very weak since his last
sickness" "He is l saw him on the
street just now and asked him for
flyer; but he couldn't stand Loan
! Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
"Amy, my love, wish we lived in
the good old days when knight could
! fight for his lady love-" "Why, George.
: dear, as for that, you haven't asked
e papa's consent to our engagement as
e yet, you w."-Forget-Me-Not.
< The Comedian Ton the defensive)--
But you know there are only seven real
JOhG6 III the hOllNs II 10 otAiN' - -
j, brette-I know; what puzzles me Is
l that you have never happened upon
: any of Cincinnati Tribune.
:, Nellie-I don't see why Charley DIM
/, pleton has suddenly been so taken with
!; Dot Thurston. How do you account
for it? Jessie-Oh, believe she was
:, the first one to notice that he was rails.
: ing a misunderstanding Leader.
n Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, "de
=. man dat pays hundu'hds OBJ dOllahs fob
:. flags an decorations ain eZ much OF
4 err patriot ez de one dat goes quietly
~ long an pays is taxes an serves on
de jury wifout kickin'. Washington
Star.
Arizona Al-Wal, what do you think
of that? Here's Jim goin' an Citing
n married! Chloride Charley-Wal that's
Il the way of the world! Arizona Al
Right enough; but look at this: mo