Gloucester County Democrat. (Woodbury, N.J.) 1878-1932, 1897-07-22
NUMBER so
STRIVING TO PLEASE.
THE ADVANCE AGENT TELLS HOW HIS
FRIENDS OBSERVED THIS RULE.

rhtENDo CDOGnNEO ITO nOLG.
A Manager OF a Pyrotechnic Show Who
Didn't Want to Disappoint His Audi
ence-A Monument which Proves That
His ETorts Were Appreciated.
81 always strive to please. . remarked
the dramatic editor, as he scratched the
words "big thing out of the advance
notice he was writing and substituted
'megatherian aggregation. "
Thanks, / am sure, :" said the adj
vance agent, as he read over the ten
lines the dramatic critic was giving to
him, and carefully put back into his
pocket the half column notice he had
first drawn on the d. c.
''I presume, y smiled the d. O., that
you always strive to please, too, don't
you2"
"Not always Sin semidisappointed
tone but I used to have friend who
did. He really was the most self deny
ing chap / ever saw, and what he
wouldn't do to please an audience
wasn't worth doing
Where is he now?"
''Dead. -
"Dead?p
'Yes. it killed him. Itwas this way:
He was in the pyrotechnic branch Of
the dramatic art and used to give shows
at one of those imitation Conev Islands
to be found on nearly every sand bar in
nearly . er river tributary to the Mis-
sissippi. He had been the originator of
the fireworks feature at this place, and
his phenomenal success had made him
so proud that he would sooner have died
than had failure. One Fourth of July
he was going to give the grandest dis
play Of his life, and the feature in the
biggest letters on the bill was a set
piece, 100 feet high, with an enormous
balloon loaded with fireworks to go up
from the top as a grand finale. There
were ten times as many people there
that night as there had ever been. and
my friend was feeling so good you could
see it in his walk.
Everybody was on edge, too, for the
grand blaze of glory the management
had been advertising for weeks. and
when. promptly at the hour Of 10
o'clock, my friend stepped forth like a
peacock to set off the great display with
his own hand there was round of APP
plause, followed by dead silence as
the audience sat breathless watching for
the burst of blazing glory. But some
how it didn't burst. The professor fred
the train and retreated to safe place,
but the powder wouldn' t burn. 1t fizzled
and went out instead. Once, twice,
thrice. it fizzIed. sputtered and went
cut, and then the crowd began to growl
and guy, as crowds always will, and
the professor began to get wild.
Several other attempts to set the
piece off were no more successful, and
at last, with a smothered scream of
crazy rage. he shot up the ladder of the
tower to its very top, where he had
platform stored with all sorts of infiam-
mable and explosive things arranged to
60 off at the proper time He stood
there a moment silhouetted against the
sky, the crowd indulging in gibes and
jeers, with now and then threat as to
what he might expect if he would only
come down to the ground. This was his
time to show what he could do to please
his audience, and in a minute, and be-
fore anybody had any idea what he
would do next, he caught up an armful
of the explosives about him. fastened
them to his clothes and hung wreaths
and rings over his neck and shoulders,
and, setting the whole thing afire. he
swung out into the air in the balloon.
which was already tugging at its anchor.
''As the balloon shot up it was ter
rife sight, and the poor DEVILS shrieks
added to the intensity of the scene, al
ready lurid with red and blue lights,
while the air was filled with all manner
of bursting bombs and crashing explo-
sives. Women tainted. men ran help
lessly about shouting, and still the bal
loon swept upward with its fiery freight
and passenger, until, when it had
reached a point 1000 feet above the
earth, it caught fire and the whole
burning mass shot like blazing ball
straight to the ground.
"You will be safe in betting those
people never saw such an exhibition as
that before, nor will ever again in all
probability. and when it was over"
concluded the agent, the audience
seemed to realize what the professor
had done to please them, and they chip
ped in and built him a monument
where he fell, having OH it, besides his
name and the proper dates, no other in
scription except He strived to please. I"
The dramatic critic was at least half
minute III recovering his speech after
the recital of this remarkable tale, and
before he could ask any questions the
advance agent had folded his tent like
circus and stolen away to the Office of
the next dramatic critic he had to call
upon Washington Star.