The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-05-19

y AtII SNohD0
Colonel U. S. A., retired, Major
General Volunteers.
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
- The poorest man may give as
much as tie richest, if he will give all
he can.
= If you would know what it;mcaus
to be rich, find out chat it is blessed
to give.
= Many people find their only hap
piness in forcing themselves to be un-
happy.
The man most in need of mercy
is the one who will have no mercy on
himself.
- At Jackson, Mich, a father play
ing leapfrog with his boys fell against
a stove and broke his neck.
- The man with squeaky boots on,
who walks up the church aisle during
prayer time, intrudes his sole-stirring
music at the wrong time.
= Mrs. Gabb-Does your boy take
after you or his father? Mrs. Gabb-
He takes after his father. You can
never believe a word he says.
= A colored philosopher is reported;
to have said: "Life, my breddern,
am mos'ly made up Of prayin' for
rain, and then wishin' it would cl,or
off,"
u Life is earnest--lifc is labor.
Life is rest. Life is taxes. Life
brings its ills, bills, doctors pills.
Very good. But without love, life is
dead.
= Cleanliness is next to godliuess
but it is hard to convince the man
whose wife is in the throes of house
cleaning that there is any truth in the
adage.
= Gray hair is caused solely by the
loss of pigment which gave it color.
Grayness may occur at any period Of
life, irrespective of age it is also he
reditary.
- There is nothing that so prompts
ly cuts short congestion of the lungs,
sore throat, or rheumatism as hot va.
ter when applied thoroughly aud
promptly.
= None are too wise to be miatak-
en-, but few are SO wisely just as to
acknowledge and correct their mis-
takes, and especially the mistakes Of
prejudice.
-''Has your aunt's will been adj
mitted to probate yet ?" "No. There
is so much trouble about Che pesky
thing that I almost wish aunt had
never died"
She (angrily)-Ibelieve you think
more Of that nasty old pipe than you
do of me, your wife. He (mildly)-
Well, my dear, I can keep my pipe
from going out.
= "Madge has been ordered by her
parents to give up Jack altogether"
twill she do it?' "she says she
cant; he brings her a pound Of cara
uelS every eFeuluR.
= At the beginning Of this century
a most peculiar cholera remedJ was in
Persia. It consisted in wadding up a
leaf from the Koran and forcing it
down the patients throat.
= If you hear a bad story, make a
short stop Of yourself. Dou't let it
pass you. The one who tells it will
no doubt tell it to others, and pass it
on, but don't let it pass you.
do you remember our first
quarrel, dearest ?" eyes, love-" II
said you were just as meal as you
could be-" "Ibelieye you did," "Oh,
William, how mistaken I was"
$50 he praised my singing, did
he 2" "Yes; he said it was heaven
ly." "Didh he really say that ?" "Well,
not exactly, but he probably meant
that. He said it was unearthly."
= It is said that if parsley is eaten
with onions or a salad containing
onions the odor of the onion will not
affect the breath. The sprigs Of
parsely should be eaten as you would
celery.
- The old Washington hall in
Durham, Eng, which is supposed by
some to have been the seat of George
Washington's ancestors, has been
bought by an American for only
$4,000.
- Of course it was not to be ex-
pected Of her to say Mayaower that
wa too vulgar. So when she Wa
asked about her ancestry, she said
that they came over in the "Trailing
Arbutus.'
"A horsetrainer of Breckenridge,
KY, who has been married three
times, is the father of 80 children. Of
whom 81 are alive. His oldest son
and his present wife are Of the same
age, Al years.
= Little girl of seven being asked
why she ate her tart all around the
edge first, and consequently got her
fingers covered with jam, answered
reproachfully, "Meg, don't you know
duty first and pleasure aftcrward."
For every quarter in a mans
pocket there are a dozen uses; and to
use each one in such a way asyto de-
rive the greatest benefit is a question
every one must solve forhimself. We
blieve, however, that no better use
could be made of one of these quarters
than to exchange it for a bottle of
Chamberlain Collie, Cholera and Di-
arrhoea Remedy, a medicine that cv-
cry family should be provided with.
For sale by Hill-Orr Drug Co.
= Too often, as a very respectable
looking professor Of religion dashes
by in his phator, with his wife and
daughters dressed in the most costly
garments, the remark is heard, "ifI
had what belongs to me he would not
cut such a DASH
- A recent police census shows
that there are 104 900 buildings of all
kinds in the city of Baltimore, hid.
Among them are 81, 1886 dwelling
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