The commonwealth. (Greenwood, Miss.) 1896-1923, 1897-09-30

Inns btih- slsbtSu ut NaIhs tulluucut
u Up - The box, and having heard thai
il is the proper caper to ring the bell, h,
grabs the handle gives it an authorita
tive, The expected tinkle of the bel
does not follow, and, believing tina,
more strength or activity is required. he
goes at il again with a determination to
ge tsound ont of the blamed thing" OF
twist the insides ont of it. Like the old
hand orgvn man he grinds away until
some kind observer shows him how to
push the button" Disguised, and
with perspiration streaming down his
bronzed features, he welcomes any ad.
vice, and he finally succeeds in getting
n response from the bell, He is all right
then: he knows how to do the rest.
Leaning his head against the phone,
with elephnntine ear pressed firmly to
the orifice in the t%Wnsmitter, he takes
down the receiver, aud iabbing about
four inches of it into II capacious
mouth, he endeavors to open mp a con-
versation with central" The services
| ii thp pystander are again called into
requisitioB aRd he hna'i9 Aelslisa his
talk, This species is rapidly becoming
extinct, but an occasional rare speci-
men is seen.
- ST.
Speaking of telephones, | have motto
ed thai tilp average telephone converse
tionalist bias Acquired thf habit IF ask
ing over the wire n question which, on
the street or In the arawing.room would
be deemed impertinent. After the pre-
liminary hello" they blurt ont, Who
is this?' Now the person at the other
end may not desire to disclose his or her
identity to the inquirer, especially as
the question is usually asked in a rather
ptromptQry manner. There Is q strong
temptation "a feply, y an John dones;
who in the name of the continental con,
gress are your" However, II court eous
reply is usually vouchsated, and 70 il
not satisfactory the questioner becomes
angry, snaps out, II didn't want you,''
and proceeds to yank The dayligAta ont
Of TIP elank, tlu a,e AZ the other end
receiving the full benefit of the ring in
the ear, in fact q rather annoying car.
ring, How much better II wauld sound
to ask the question, an you would on the
street, is this Mr., John Jones.' and If
replied to In the negative, beg pardon,
and try some n else.
During the alteration in the building
formerly occupied AZ q photograph gal.
ley, / noticed q list wrltten one of the
window frames, and as it is composed
Of q number of expressions which have
become stereotyped in the photograph.
er's mind, ! reproduce them for the ben.
egt of any who may intend having por.
titits made, They were evidently jot-
ted down by the observant picture max
er as they were heard. have dated
some of the most reliable:
O-looks wild.
Pretty dark day for printing, isn't it
Looks like she was holding her breath.
Looks like she was hunting for some.
thing,
lock like u dying calf,
She's trying to look sweet.
lsyour instrument insuredy $3.50 B. C)l
Now I'm going to break the glass
$500 b. ca +.E
tsd't ~at-rm eion time yet. Don't
need any scarecrows. ttpH..
Too dark on n side.
What's all them little "do'sy"
Are You summing themg
You have your head u Ieetie too fur
back,
Looks like he had been eating green
persimmons.
Looks cross eyed. CA. D.. 49,
Looks "a. d, lh}
Lpeha hollow % one sidc.
Looks Ike he had the smallpox.
Looks too sanctimoniOus.
Drying them out. are your
jim always takes a good picture.
4
Same n,uies will never become accus-
toned to the bicycle. don't mean this
for the unhappy beginners. but for the
long cared, obstinate animals. which at
tempt to become giddy whenever 4
wheel glides past Them aa y country
ROAD, A Jew days ago I rode by one NJ
these four-footed con+..adictions which
by its toltish actions occasioned the
downfall of a lady Of color" who was
being driven TO town. The woman was
raiabow-iike In resplendence-yellow
waist green skirt, lace mitts, and a hat
like a wedding cake. She occupied a
chair Of states in the center Of the wag.
on. She resembled Queen Lii or some
other oannfbal princess on the throne.
AS the wheel cyept softly mp to the off
mule and was not observed until side by
side The animal evidently thought it
wac sont for, and with a mighty bound
attempted to jump through the collar.
That jump was the undoing Of Queen
Lii She abdicated. ! heard the regu-
lar dime-noyel dull, sickening thud,"
and looked back. Talk about ksleido.
scopes! That wench looked like a sail.
ors knot made Of rainbows. She had
not touched the wagon In her descent,
but found a aft ~rostinu Mac. 4, ~. |