The times., 1897-06-13
THE BOWSER TROUBLES.
Mr.. Bowser Puts Down the Sitting
Room Carpet.

4
iu the norning?" asked Mrs. Bowser the
other evening as she looked up from her
| paper.
| Il durAnO--why?' replied Mr.. Eowser.
| "I've had the sitting-rcom carpet ready
| to be laid ali day. but the an hasn't come
| yet. You might stop and send one up
THE carpet is all ready, is it?''
"An ready, and a good man can lay
it in couple of hours"
"A good man can lay 1t In half an hour,
| Mrs. Bowser; and instead OF paying out
| So well lie that much u ahead
.sYor--you don't mean--?' she staul-
mered
Il am the good iI.an-I will lay the
carpet! The fact is, / was just won
deung il | Couldn't do something OF that
| sort this evening, and | glad of the
| inb Sing merrily, oh Mis-. Eowser. for
thirty minutes hence the carpet Will be
| laid"
But why tire yourself out? Why not
| let man come up? It's their business,
| you know, and they can.
| That viii do Mrs. Bowser. l want the
exercise. ] want to save the expense. and
| | want To convince you that can lay u
carpet as ell as d professional "
| '.Ill pay for the laying Ont Of my own
| pocket if you'll let IL 20" she said. as he
| started UP stairs to change his clothes.
| while j make no charge you can hand
me So if you wish" he replied, as he went
his way
| she knew what would happen, tut she
| was helpless to prevent. In five minutes
| Mr. Bowser reappeared, carrying tacks and
the hammer and feeling in the best of
| spirits, and as he entered the sitting-rooIn
and lighted the gas he said:
| Watch the clock, Mrs Bowser. In thirty
| minutes from now you CAN move in the
furniture; l want just about half an hour
| of active exercise"
II think I'll help you
And 1 think YOU WON'T Just trot
right off aud read your little novel. and
| when the last tack is driven III utter "a
war-whoop TO let you know"
| Airs Bowser disappeared, and Mr. Bowser
rubbed his hands, drew long breath
| and made grab at the big roll OF carpet
/ lie had d clear floor and was soon hagnmer
| ing in the tacks along one side OF the room.
| He wanted to surprise Mrs. Bowser at the
| ea1 of halfan hour. hut ii camemuch sooner
| she looked in at the end OF seven or eight
minutes and at once called ont:
! Mr. Bowser, what on earth are you
doing?"
! Doing the hest Job of carpet-Iayi ying in
! this town" he cheerily answered.
But You are putting il Gown without
| any lining Under it, There's The lining
| in that corner
| Yes. | see. Well. that's all right
| It's the style now to put DOWN carpets
without any lining, and I supposed yoii
| wanted to follow it. just get right out
ana don't bother. and II rip this up aud fix
things -
| He ripped and he fixed. and this time
| Mrs. Bowser let him alone for a quarter
or an hour BY that time he had two sides
| finished and was working on the third.
| She looked about for a moment and then
said.
MIR. Bowscr. do you know that carpets
are made to fit roomss''
1--WE heard So he replied as he looked
! up.
| We'll. straighten this carpet out and see
| how You are coming out. You've got the
ends for tho sides There'il be a foot short
on one end ard a foot too much on the
| other.''
Never Mrs Bowsef-never. on the face
OF this green earth, I am neither cross
4 eEeu Dor tu iGtIt- ana
| Bat look for yourseIf.' she inter
rupted. as she pulled the carpet over.
/ 1t was true Mr. Rowser could haze
claimed that the house had been turned
around gince the carpet was taken up,
or that some carpenter had sneaked IN
| ard shifted the walls. but 1T didn't oc-
cur TO tim. The Only way out OF it was
to say:
1
strip OF bare flcoi at one end, according
| to Fifth avenue style, there's no need
| Of shouting your lungs out 1 will thank
| you to yaca tie this room while | whirI
| the old thing around
| She vacated, and there was a rip, rip,
| rip! as he seized the carpet and heaved
| away and sent most OF the tacks flying
to the ceiling. When he whirled the
carpet about, the house seemed to whirI
with it, and the family cat took a skip
FOR the cellar to be prepared for cmer-
eencies. After three or four minutes
| there came the whack! whack, whackt
OF the hammer, but the noise did not
last long. She heard Mt Bowser call
out Xxx! and III! and xxx, and as she
| opened the door he was dancing about and
| holding his left thumb.
| what is 1t now?"
"Did anyone call you, Mrs. Bowser?''
he queried, making great effort to ap-
| pear calm ard keep his heels on che floor
| mo; but / heard
Then you had better retire, When l
can't lay a blamed cid carpet without
| your help II go hang myself"
| "Shan't / do it up in "A Iag?"
He pointed TO the door with arm stretched
| out, and she disa appeared, and a there was
| nothing in the room to kick or jump on, he
| Lad to suck his thumb and walk around
| until the pain subsided. After lcng ten
| minutes had passed and no fresh Gala nifty
| hadhappened, Mrs. Bowser began to breathe
| easier. She waited ten min utes more and
| then looked in. Mr.. Bowser had three
| sides of the carpet down, but there We're
| dozen creases and wrinkles running
through 1T, and he realized that they
couldn't be Strengthened out with any pull
! ing ne could do.
| Il was afraid of that" she said, as she
| looked at the wrinkles.
Afraid OF what?"
THAT you would get 1t squee- Iawed
around like this. That carpet will have
| to come up. You didn't start it right, to
begin with"
'Oh, didn't. Perhaps don't know
! enough to come in when it rains The
trouble with your internal old horse
blanket is that it never fitted the room
in the first place, but II make it fit or
break both legs"
Mrs. Bowser returned to her rocker, and
Mr.. Bowser braced himself for new ef-
| fort. His mind was made I'D to Gull the