The National tribune., 1897-09-09

Pussonal Rekol1ekshuns OF an Army Cook
The War Viewed from the Rear.
De flip Majah wuz too consarnedly fond oh
firtin' wild de rebbel wimmen. Mind,
don't objeck, on jinerul principles, to no
mans bein soft on de subjeck oh kalliker.
/ has sum weakness oh dat kind my owpself,
dat 80 years oh Dinah James rolin'-pin
haint entirely welted outen me. Dinah
James No. / woman, an has been mitey
good wife tub me- but ] don't believe dars
anudder woman in de YOunited States dat
kin hit ez hard ez she kin, an she alluZ has
de rollin'-pin whar she kin lay her hands on
hit when she begins tub talk ober family
matters.
But DAFT needer heah nur dar. What l
started out tub say wuz dat de flip MaJah
wuz etarnally stuck on hisself, wuz etarn-
ally tryin tub mash sum rebbel woman an
spendin time on her dat de 4Ounited States
paid him fur tub glib tub putin down de
rebelyun. | believe dat when man takes
a job he should glib his hull 'tenshun tub
hit till hits finished OATS de way l am
wild cookin, an OATS de way / made a
Nayshunal reputation. Eff de flip MaJah
had stuck ez closely tub his job OBJ putin
down de rebeyun ez | did tub my pans an
kittles, and showed de same know-how,
instid oh tub Jinerul Grant.
Agin Pm gittn off We nebber went
inter camp nowhar but de flip Majah had
his eye on de best-lookin house in de nabor-
hood an he wuz sho tuh find sum young
dar woman dat he could shine round, paiaver
wild an, send preseD is OBJ Yankee coffee tub. De
wimmin oh de Souf wuz de awfullest kind
OBJ rebbels, but | nebber yit seed one under
40 who would't flirt wild Yankee ossifer,
| an be glad tab git pound OBJ 4ankee coffee
Dey's all built jest dat way
BY de time we got back often de PENN
shuly hit wuz gittiu' rudder resky tub 90
outside de lines sparkin'. Stuarts cavalry
WIZ jinin' in de sparkin, an invitin' de
Washers tub 90 down tub Richmond, an
flrt awhile wild Libby.
One evenin' de flip Majah he cum down
tub de Cap'n OBJ Co. Il, an he seq, sezzee:
" want you tub let me hab five or six
good men tub go out wild me this evenin' on
an important expedition" De Cap'n OBJ Co
| Il lie seq, seZzee:
De best men got is in de Mornin' Glory
Mess. Tll send de Orderly down tub tell
'em tub report tub you"
So de Orderly he Gums down, an Mistuh
10, Fence Rail Pete, Sawed-of Stevens,
| Bliuky Brown, and Fac Smile Welsh, dey
reported at the flip Majah's tent. Sarsapa-
rilla Simmons, an White eyed Jones wuz
on guard an couldn't go.
De Majah an de Ajutant got on DER
bosses an tote de boys to foller long behine.
Two or Tree miles out dey cum to where
de reads forked, an de ftp Majah SEE, sez-
zee:
Weunss 'spectin' sum rebbel scouts tub
try tuh git inter camp tonight, cummin'
down dis road. Dey's alter mitey important
iniormation an we mussent let 'em git in
by no means. You'ns stay right here, an
keep sharp lookout on desc roads, while
me an de Ajutant goes back to dat house
dere an sees What we kin find out"
Dat showed how leeile dat flip Maiah
really knowed when he fought he could
bambooze Mistuh 10 an his crowd.
When hit cum tub smartness Mistuh 10
could Glib de Maiah de night bower, an still
eucher him ebbery time,
Mistuh 10 diddent say nothin' till de
Majah wuz gone, an den he said heap
about gwine out cortn' where lie didn't play
de boss part. | had tagged erl0ng alter de
boys on CALDER 90, an bime-by Mistuh 10
sent me up tub spy round de house an see
what wnz gwine on.
! see dat de Tebbel young wimmen wuz
'speclin' de Majah am Ajutant, fur dey wuz
dressed up in dere best an playin' on de
pianner, while de cullud wimmen wuz wuk-
kin like all possessed out LII de kitchen tub
git up nice supper.
De rebbiel wimmen dey done sung De
Bonnie Blue Flag" an de Homespun
Dress de Suddern Ladies Wear" an den de
fin Maiah he tuned up an sung When
dis Crewel War is Over"
! cum back an tole Mistuh 10. He an
Fence Rail Pete went ober inter de field, an
cotch two ole plugs oh bosses dat waz dar, an
tole me tub take em up de road erbout a
quarter. and de moment ! hear dem shoot
DER guns tub come down de road on a dead
run hollerin like a wile-cat, an tub keep hit
ip ez long Ell had smidgin oh bref left.
Blme-by, Jest Ell soon eZ dey fought de
supper wuz done good an ready, and de
Maiah wuz singn', Mother Pve Come
Home Tuh Die" Mr.. 10 an de rest sot IL % d e
awlulest shootin' an hollerin'. | cum tarn'
down de road wild wild Caiiber 50, an de
two hosses ON de keen jump an yeIlin' like
or Birthstone wuz a shown his hot pitch
fork inter me ebbery jump.
see de flip Majah an de Ajutant run out
en- de front door widdout any caps. cut DER
hosses loose, an scamper off tod camp
lickety-split. | follered dem fur nigh onto
quarter. yellin all de time. Den ] rode back
tub de house whar | found Mistuh 10 an de
rest a-sottin round de table, comfortable an
quiet en- you please, an stuflin deirselyes wild
de good t'ing8 cooked fur de ossiers
We got back inter camp atore midnight,
an tole big story erbout an awful time
wild a whole sloo oh rebel cavalry. NTstuh
10 brought back de Majah's and Ajutant s
caps, an handed EN- tub EN- quietly, sayin
dat he would keep mum erbout hit an dey' d
better.
SOME Frenchmen are dreaming of a
tri ME alliance 10 consist of the ITnited