Evening star., 1897-03-20
ONE CHICAGO REGULARITY.
What the Unsuspecting May Find in
the Windy City.

tne "louy CAtys
The post Office inspector. just returned
from a trip through the witching and
wondrous west. was talking to a group of
listeners, including a Star reporter, with a
fluency that was as felicitous as it was
fecund. During seventy-five or eighty min
utes of colloquial overflow he had COM
municated several startling facts and
fancies. and al the last had come down to
something specific.
However, of all the strange things
saw when l had no gum he said, was a
lady 1 met in Chicago"
would you have shot her?' gasped the
Mortified reporter.
"Oh. no. laughed the inspector "she
was all right, as you will learn when you
have heard about it. 1t was this way:
Four years ago l was there, and during
my visit. which lasted two months, l met
very nice man and his wife and son.
boy of ten or twelve. at the boarding house
where l stayed. The mans name was
Brownley, and l came to know the family
quite well. though 1 can't say that they
were the most congenial husband and wife
L ever saw. Toward the last this unc on
geniaiity grew. because Brownley got to
drinking to excess.
When l came away 1 parted with them
with regret, for they had made nv stay
pleasanter. and hoped that I should see
them again. Brownley was effusive, and
hoped we should meet again, but Mrs B.
was quite formal for some reason, and
didn't seem to care a continental whether
sne ever saw me again not.
Last January, when 1 got back there
FOR the first time l went to the old boar
ing house in the hope that might find
tnihgs somewhat as they were before, and
l wanted to see the Brownleys from whom
mad heard nothing. But the house was
torn down. and block occupied the site.
ana found quarters elsewhere. None of
u the oid people were to be found. so I gave
no ofn ~
had been there week I was walking along
State street one day when 1 met Mrs
Browniey face to face. and without a sec
ond thought 1 rushed up in great shape
and wanted to shake hands. But she
wouldn't have It, and wouldn't know me-
and said | was mistaken and that she was
not MRS. Brownley. but was Mrs. Nottron,
or some name that sounded like that. and
OF course. l could only apologize and get
out OF the way. which 1 did. but not at all
convinced. On the contrary l became
curious and began to make inquiries.
prano line next day 1 caught glimpse Of
brownley. himself. in a crowd, but lost
nlm. and when ran across him again that
evening In saloon he was so drunk that
ne was fneoherent and could only tell me
mat mis- family was well and he hoped I'd
eau and see them. He didn't remember his
street number. and the Information l got
from him was Of no great value, except to
make me wonder If his wife had a twin
sister whom had never heard Of
Several days later I happened to see nv
iady OF mystery at the stamp window in
the post office. and little judicious inquiry
developed the fact that she was one Mrs.
n. j. Nottern. which was as near the name
as might be expected to know 1t from
having heard it once on the street Then
kicked myself for being such an eyre
gious idiot. and hoped that If l had the
luck to find Brownley again he would he
sober enough to know where he lived
Three or four days later I met the how
FRED, In big dry goods store, and the
youngster knew me at once. for we had
been boys together four wears before ard
Fred was a fine lad He told me his mother
was to meet him there. and ip few min
utes she came in. and 1 would have sworn
II was the other woman, but she shook
hands with me very pleasantly and was
glad to see me, and gave me her number
ana told me to call and all that. She had
sent the boy on an errand to another part
OF the store while she talked, and when
he came back. they went away together
Immediately. OF course l told her about
her double had discovered. and she laugh
ed and said she hoped she would see her
some time and all that, as women do, you
know"
Il was called to Springfield that same af
ternoon and was away a week. and the
nrst person saw to know when got back
was Mrs Brownley. and she was accom-
panied by a man whom / did not know
was not to be fooled again, however. so
did not speak, but waited for her to, and
she went by me if she had never seen
me before In her life. Then 1 thought this
must be the other one, SO 1 spotted the
man, and made up my mind to tackle him
II ever had chance. That evening l
went TO call on the Brownleys at the num-
Der given to me by Mrs. B. 1t was a board
ing house, and no such person as Brownlev
lived there. The landlady was out and the
servant was stupid and ignorant, and / left
without making any further inquiry
though left my card and said l would
return.
Before I made my second call. though
met Fred on the street and with him the
man had spotted with Mrs Nottern few
Gays before Fred was glad to see me- as
he always was, and in his boyish effusiya
way introduced me to the man with him
as Mr.. Nottern. who was his new papa
his mother having married him three years
before and within a year after getting her
divorce from Brownley.
Inc explanation was so simple and easy
now that lost interest, and making a fair
guess at Mrs. Nottern's feelings in the mat
yer from her various little ruses when
meeting me previously, made it conyea-
lent to be SO busy during the rest of nv
stay In Chicago that it was utterly impos-
slble to accept the invitations of Fred and
MS stepIather-would he be a stepfather
under those circumstances2to call ON
them.
Il left there without having met Mrs. N.
again. and the last person of the combina-
tion that saw was poor Brownley, in a
naii-drunken sleep in street car at mid
night, on his way to whatever kind of a
home or a stopping place he may have
had" ' nav
AS the inspecto finished his story he ac-
tually sighed. but just for which one Of the
characters III his very Chicagoesuue tale
II Is not possible for the reporter to say
School Was Behind the Times.
From the Atlanta Constitution
The boy with the red satchei of hooks
was coming down Decatur street and met
the greasy-faced boy, who said:
Say. Joe. whut kinder books dus dey
make a feiler swaller at de public skule ?'
'Oh. jes' gografes an 'rithmeticks. an.
things that away"
'shu: Don't hev no Buffalo Bill books
ner nuthin about de Jeems boys?"
Nope"
"Nuthin' bout piruts ner bandits.
nuther?'
Nope"
"Ner shootin' Injuns ner taggers, ner
nuthin'?" '~-
Nope"
Shaw. thin. I wudn't go to ther poky ole
skule. Hit mus be dull 'nuff to gin q fell
Ter de fever. Desc yere skule teachers ia
alius way behind de times, ennyhow''
Dakota Metropolis.
From the Cleveland Leader.