davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
A FIRST RATE TIME.
Alkaii Ike Was Best Man. but He Proved
Rather Unpopular.

A1kal Ike Was Best Man, but He Proved
Rather Unpopular.
''What kind Of a time did you have at
she wedding last night KEEP inquired
the able editor Of the Hawville Clarion
First Rate!'' replied Alkah Ike, who
presented decidedly battered appearance.
"Don't remember when ever enjoyed my
self moro In the same length of time
"H'ml How do you make that outf"
asked the scribe, regarding him critically.
"You seem to have lost several teeth, your
arm is in sling, your left ear is hanging
at half mast, and, while doubtless your
eyes will presently resume their normal
color, at present they look great deal like
a couple of holes burned in a black blan-
Eet In short, you have every appearance
of having been dragged headfoRemost
through thraShing machine"
LAW, yes returned the battered one
cheerily. 81 reckon 1 do. This yere arm is
broke in two places, my mouth feels like it
was about half pulled out the roots, likely
that thar ear will alwers lop down more
than the other, thar is q good long stab
across my tank that you can't see, consid-
cradle of my hair has been snatched off,
an the groom like to have dug my eyes out
with his thumbs. But that's all right.
You jest ort to see the other fellersl''
''Wish I could What caused the trou-
ble?'
1.-The loneliness of the groom. Some
people are SO gosh blamed peppery that
they fly up at nuthin. Tell you how it
was. You see, 1 used to sorter set up
alongside of the young lady who was mar
ried last night. 1 stirred her maw's soft
soap an let her paw beat me in boss trades
an shot up two or three fellers that came
peroozin around thar-in fact, l thought
was high kack with the whole family
But wi1nmen folks is tickle, an the young
lady shook me an took up with another
Teller An then, to rub it in On me, she
invited me to be best man at the wedd1n
''Waal, 1 reckon 1 proved to the satlsfac-
ton of everybody present that If WASH
the best man thar was jest about as good
as any of 'em. Things went along as
smooth as you please till the preacher
asked, Who giveth this yere woman away
an 1 says, amin to show that didn't hold
no hard feelin's:
% L reckon I could, but I hain't that
meant
AN then we had It'll The groom an the
brides father an several other knfOlks
an well wishers came at me like was a
long lost stepson, IN l tended to 'em as
well as 1 could as fast as they got to me.
While it lasted it was as pretty little af-
fair az 1 ever had the pleasure of bein
mixed up in an 1 reckon I'd have been on
the top of the heap an doin all the CROWN
if it hadn't been that the brides mother
flung a skillet of scaldin water on me with
a deftness born of long practice as they
say in stories. 1 came away then. I may
look sorter tore up today an all that But.
as 1 said before, you ort to see the rest OF
EN- New York Sunday Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15

200 Mems Negligee Colored Dress
Shirts, some with Collars attached,
some with Collars detached, the Shirts
Ettlinger sold for $1.OO and SIPS, to
clean up the lot we will make the price
tomorrow
soc EACH.
Hundreds of Mems White Unlaun-
dried Shirts, Linen Bosom and Cuff
Bands. the soc kind, all sizes, tomorrow
2sC EACH.
IA hundred pairs of Mems Suspenders
some Heavy Cross-backs, some Silk
stitched, dozens of different kinds, al
ways sold at 25c and 35c, for the last
week at
1OC PAIR
Lot Fine Suspenders, the ones Eft
linger sold for 75c, this week will be
33C PAIR.
lot Mems soc Calf palm mittens to-
SSc PAIR.
Hundreds of 81 and $125 leather
gloves, lined and unlined in this final
round up sale at
so dozen Mems black and brown dress
half hose the zoe kind at
1Oc PAIR
&c dozen Mems fine Egyptian dress
half hose in black and brown the 25c
kind, this week
15c, TWO FOR 25c.
~
1 lot Mems dark color .flannelette
shirts, the kind Ettlinger sold for 25c
tomorrow
1212c EACH.
100 Mems blue Denim work shirts,
pleated bosom, cut from soc to
33c EACH
Hundreds of Mems plain white hem
stitched Handkerchiefs, cut from 1Oc to
&c EACH
Hundreds of Mems plain white hem
stitched handkerchief, cut from 15c to
&c, FOUR FOR 25c.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15

this afternoon with Mrs. S J. Hodgins
Miss Grace Whittlesey is seriously i'll
at her home lilo Quincy street.
Miss Edith Davis of the State uni
versity spent Friday in the city. Miss
Mary Berkeley accompanied her to Law
renee Saturday to remain a few days
Mrs. Belle Hall Small and her sister.
Mrs. Olive Small of Sedaia, Mo. went
to Kansas City today.
The Modern Literature club will meet
tomorrow afternoon with Miss Olive
Prescott.
The return party to be given this eve
ming to the young ladies of New Years
receiving party at the Physical Gull
ture rooms, will be given at Hudson's
hall instead of Harmony hall as was
first planned.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
Youths Suits--sizes "A to1o.

We will sell you tomorrow, One Lot of
20 Youths Suits in light or dark colors.
Ettlinger sold for 7.50 to $780,
FOR $3.50 and $3.50 FOR CHOICE.
One Lot of 63 Youths Suits. Black
and Dark Gray Colors-Styles of Coats,
Double Breasted and 3-Button Cutaway
Sacks Ettlinger's price was $1,000 TO
$780,
YOUR CHOICE FOR $500.
One Lot of 173 Youths Suits in Clay
Worsteds, fancy imported worSteds and
cheviots-New Spring Colors and Black
-Nobby Getaway Sacks, etc.-Ettling-
er's prices of these suits was $3.50 to
$500
You Take Your Choice Now For $3.50.
ITEMS Suits.
One Lot 4S Suits, Black, Clay Worsted
Sacks Coats lined with heavy satin
full IS OF. worsted-Reduced from $500
TO $500.
One Lot 80 Suits. Black and Blue
Black Clay Worsted-Round and Square
Cut Sacks handsomely made-Reduced
from $3.50
One Lot Gray or Brown Mixed CASH
mere Sack Suits-goods strictly all wool
-Ettlinger's price was $3.50 to $500,
NOW 1898 AND $500.
One Lot SO Suits, Cassimeres and Wor-
steds. Round or Square Cut Sacks
Suits which Ettlinger sold for SO and
$3.50,
One Lot of 80 suits-this lot includes
some of the finest Garments in the
stock, Cassimeres and fancy Worsteds
-Ettlinger's prices were SIS to $40,
NOW $500 AND $1,000 FOR CHOICE.
One Lot 40 Suits. fine Black Clay
Worsted Getaway Frock Dress Suits
Reduced from $14.00
TO $8.75.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
Immortality.


"At lasti''
He clutched the volume rapturously.
''At Last have achieved a name that
will live foreverl'
His eyes gloated upon the fair printed
page.
"a name that will be spoken wherever
English is. A name that in far distant
ages will fall living from the lips of men.
A name that will echo and re-echo until
the earth clogs the last tongue
His eager gaze devoured the title of the
act of assembly.
IAN act authorizing Johannes Schmidt
to change his name to John Smith. p
New York Sunday Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
Remarkable Prices on
Clothing.

ITEMS Pants.
Mems heavy fancy mixed Cashmere
pants. Ettlinger's price $2-5O
NOW SIPS.
Strictly pure wool hairline Cashmere
pants, splendidly made Ettlinger's
NOW $500.
Blue uniform pants, warranted fast
color and pure wool. Ettlinger's price
$3.50
NOW $3.50.
Fancy mixed Cheviots and CASH
meres in mediums. and dark shades.
Ettlinger's price $500
NOW $500.
Extra fine imported worsted dress
pants which Ettlinger sold for IS and Sc
NOW $500.
Imported and domestic fancy worsted
dress pants. Ettlinger's finest goods
marked to sell for Sc and 81
NOW $3.50. f.4-t
Boys Knee Pants Suits.
Junior Suits strictly wool, trimmed in
fancy Braid, Ettlinger's price 81 and So,
NOW $3.50.
Refer Suits-Mixed Cassimeres and
Cheviots. fancy Observation-Disclosures
NOW $19s.
1GS01SE oullS III 1t1lS OdSSlAAASAS anu
Cheviot, which Ettlinger sold for $500
and $500,
NOW $3.50 and $500.
One lot Double Breasted Suits, fancy
Patterns in Spring Style Cassimeres
and Cheviots, Ettlinger's prices 81. so
and $500,
NOW $3.50 AND $780,
One lot of 200 Double Breasted Suits
some have two Pants-most of them
double seat and knee, splendid CASH
mereS, CheViOtS and WOrsted, which
Etthnger sold for 81. 90 to $500,
NOW $3.50 AND $3.50.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
Ready For Fight.

Sarsaparilla Sam-What you got dat
razor fur?
Pokeberry Pete-Yer know DAT eddicat-
ed niger what IS teaching school at &c big
forks? Well, yer see l owed him little
bill, and he done writ me, he did, dat he
gwine ter draw on me at sight
Sarsaparilla Sam-Well, what OBJ dat?
Pokeberry Pete-Nuttin, 'cept dere ain
no niger gwine ter get de drap on Pete
Atlanta Constitution.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
It's Now or Never.

nr
so KasCt
h epap II p w yca % d Ill
RGS
o 6r
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
All Kinds of Coal

When you want coal, wholesale or re-
tail, full weight guaranteed, see
A. F. WESSEN COAL CO.,
Telephone 698. 500 East Fourth St
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15

Ladies' Day Auction-Each lady at
tending my auction tomorrow at 2:3O
will be given handsome souvenir
w. EDMUNDS,
ll l,- 532 Kansas avenue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15

Soothing for burns, scalds, chapped
hands and lips Healing for cuts and
sores. Instant relief for piles, stops
pain at once. These are the virtues Of
DeWitt's Witch Hazel Salve. G. w.
Stansheld, 632 Kansas avenue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15

Ladies' Day Auction-Each lady at
tending my auction tomorrow at 2:3O
will be given a handsome souvenir.
w. EDMUNDS,
532 Kansas avenue.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
W hen You w ant

Pennsylvania Hard, Ouita or Semi-An-
thracite, see WESSCN COAL CO.,
Telephone 698 500 East Fourth st.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-15
A Misunderstanding.

Broken edge collars made smooth by
Peerless Steam Laundry.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
A SMART ARITHMETIC MAN.

The story OF Chinaraan's Property-Was
1t Divided Correctly?
A Chinaman died, leaving his prop
erty by will to his three sons, as fol.
lows, says Harper's Round Table:
''To Fuenhuen, the Oldest, one-hal1
thereof; to Nupin, the second son, one.
third thereof, and to Dingbat, his
youngest, one-pinth thereof"
When the property was inyentoried il
was found to consist Of nothing more OF
less than II elephants, and it puzzled
those three heirs how to divide the
property according to the terms Of ths
will without chopping up II elephants
and thereby seriously imparing thci1
value. Finally they applied to a wise
neighbor, Suenpunk, for advice. Suen.
punk had an elephant of his own. IL
drove it into the yard with the u ant
said:
'Now, we will suppose that your ia
Their left these is ELEPHANTS; Fuenhuen
take your half and depart" So Fuen.
heun took nine elephants and went
his way.
'Now, Nupin," said the wise man
'tal1e your third and CO." So Nupir
took Six elephants and travelled.
"Now, Ding-bat," said the wise man
take your ninth and begone." Sc
Ding-bat took two elephants and va.
moosed. Then Suenpunlz took his own
elephant and drove him home again.
Query: Was the property divided &C
cording to the terms Of the will?
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
CHRISTMAS HAD NO TERRoRs
How She Positively Knew That He Lovet
sf<S&# II 1v.--* II =. ..t5Sst{ n

- = 80
How She Positively Knew That He Lovee
And it came to pass, says the Ba11ti.
more News, that the meek-eyed youth
looked upon the glorious girl while hel
cheeks were red and he spal1e unto her
saying: "Fairest creature upon earth
wilt thou be my beauteous bride?"
And the glorious girl made swift an.
swer, saying: 'Not, o Reginald! not
until you have given me positive proof
that you love me-"
And the face of the glorious girl was
cven.as the wild lily of the untrodden
forest for coyness, but her voice was
like unto the tax collectors for frmncss
And the meel1-eyed youth looked hin,
far away into the henceforth, for & great
fear was with him, and in his wailine
woe he was fain to end itall.
And it came to pass that in that dark
est moment a great light dawned upon
him and he spakc unto the glorious
girl, saying: "Lest, peradventul%e. thou
misunderstandst me, again do l say, be
my beauteous bride. AS for proof that
l love thee, fair one, let me draw your at
tention to the fact that Christmas is;
scarcetwo weeks hence-dostw want more
proof?"
And straightway the glorious girl
nestled close to his more OF less manly
breast, and even as she nestled, she
sloal1e, saying: ''Thou art indeed brave
Most men would have waited till after
Christmas; but ycu-ouch! You
mustn't muss my hair, dear!",
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
FINANCIAL REVERSES,
Disappointment of an Investor Who Over
worked tho Market.

Disappointment of an Investor Who Over
worked tho Market.
They had been talking about trusts
and the Immense profit realized by cap
ital, according to the Washington Star
"a man is never satisfied, however
big the gains may be-" remarked the
man with the patient expression.
"Yes," said the plump-loolling citi-
zen with meerschaum cigar holder;
no matter what a person achieves, he
is always haunted by the thought that
he might have done better. The trouble
about making money rapidly is that a
man fails to be content with a fair per-
centage of gain on his investment
Il have a friend who is exactly that
way. He turns up his nose at mere 100
per cent. or So
':He must be a plunger."
"No; he's a conservative investor"
''What does he handle?''
'Well, you, might call them govern
ment obligations"
'He must have a new kind of a good
thing"
"He used to have. But he's lost me-
And it's positively distressing to read
what he says because the two-cent
stamp he recently bought to put on a
letter to me didn't realize the usual
dividend of five dollars.''
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
Curious Cuban Caves.

There is a series of small and large
caverns in the marble rocks of the
Cuban mountains which are being grad
ually filled up, and that too in most
remarkable manner. The common
land snails, of which there are many
species and varieties in Cuba, make
these caves resort during the dry sea-
sen. They congregate on the floors of
the caverns in immense numbers and
millions of them never leave. The rea-
son is this: The water which drops
from the roofs or ceilings of the differ
emit caverns contains a large per cent.
Of carbonate of lime. When the water
evaporates the lime is left behind, and,
acting as a cement, it CLUES great layers
OF the snail shells together every year.
This process going on season after sea-
son is gradually filling up the Cuban
caves, and it is only a question of time
when there will not be a single cavern
left on the island
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
THE PRINCESS LOVES ANIMALS
Her Fondness for Old Pets and Proves
in tho Hunt.

Her Fondness for Old Pets and Prov ess
in the Hunt.
, A writer in Cassel's Family Magazine
deals pleasantly with the subject Of
the horses of the princess of Wales
The princess bay pony, fluffy" is now
% years of age. He is past work and is
having high old time Of it. He
stands about 10 hands high,
and has been the first favoritc
Of the princess for the 16 years
he has been in her service He knows
his mistress as well as any Of her dogs
do, and, if allowed, would follow her
anywhere. He is too old to work row,
and has had his shoes taken off finally,
but still lives q most luxurious l:iS, con-
SANITY visited and fed by his mistress.
who never allows an old favorite to be
killed. Mr.. Jessop mentions incident
ally that it may not be generally known
that the princess is most intrepid
rider to hounds. Her light weight and
hands, coupled with the high-class
horses she rides and her own fearless
spirit, enables her to keep almost invari-
ably in the first fight. In fact, during
a fast run she as q rule leads the field,
and many a fox's mask ard brush t.:c-
crate her private apartments to testify
to her prowess. Neither does weather
daunt her. Upon a notably bad day
last winter Prince George was the only
one of a large party who faced with his
mother the storm which prevailed at
the time fixed for tho naet
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
THE WELSH PRINCIPALlTY.
why Old-Time Superstitions, Customs al
ElaYor Arc Praser1ed.

why Old-Time Superstitions, Customs and
Flavor Arc Preserved.
1t is related that an English lord once
said to his guests: Il have amansion in
Wales switch have never seen but which
am told is very fine. Every day dinner
for 10 is set there and the carriage
drawn up at the door in case l should
arrive" This may illustrate, says
Scotch writer in Lirpincott's, the rela-
ton of Wales to the average English
man, for although almost all CT the
Welsh towns are merely a ten-hours
ride from London, there is, perhaps, no
other country in the world lying SO close
to the center CT civilization of which SO
little is known to the outside world.
Book stores may Load their shelves
with volumes ON all subjects, but few
books will I've found among them ON this
quaint, quiet and perhaps most pic
turesquc of all countries. The fact is,
Wales is not much visited, is lightly
spoken of and little read about-not
having produced a Walter Scotland
perhaps these circumstances have done
much to preserve the place in it's typical
state and enabled the people to cling to
old-time superstitions, customs and
language and to present to a visitor a..
unique and refreshing flavor wholly it's
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
WHAT OUR FAIR DID.
Taught the People the Lesson OF Enthu
siasm and Ap3raciatsco

Taught the People the Lesson OF Enthu-
siasm and Appreciation.
1t is but couple Of years since the
vision of the White City CT Chicago end
ed in flame and smoke Or vanished be-
fore the rains of winter, and yet already
the dream is Undertaking., the phenix
has risen from the ashes by Lake Mich
igan to fly from city to city, wherein
the plaster and stucco of the Column bian
palaces are becoming enduring stone,
says Scribner's. The great educational
institutions have opened the way, not
onl with plan, but also with realiza-
ton, with colleges in New York, AMI
the beautiful library of Boston, and
with the huge and magnificent pile
which has arisen beside the national
capitol.
But although some Of these buildings
were projected and designed before the
worlds fair grew into being, the latter
has taught to the people that shall visit
them the lesson Of enthusiasm and ap-
probation; above all, of that cnthu-
siasm which results in a common di-
rection, of that interpretation which
results in harmony. Harmony was the
great lesson of the Columbian city; the
architects joined hands,~end in the
court of honor each of the great build
ings assumed greater beauty ard sig
nifcance from the fellowship of the
charming palaces that surrounded it.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
Curious Cuban Caves.

There is a series of small and large
cayerns in the marble rocks of the
Cuban mountains which are being grad
TALLY filled up, and that, too, in a most
remarkable manner. The common land
snails, of which there are SO many spe-
cies and varieties in Cuba, make these
caves a resort during the dry season.
They congregate on the floors of the
cayerns in immense numbers and mil
lions Of them never leave. The reason
is this: The water which drops from
the roofs or ceiling Of the different cav
erns contains large per cent. of car
Donate Of lime. When the water evapo-
rates the lime is left behind, and, acting
as a cement, it Clues great layers of
the snail shells together every year.
This process going on season after sea-
son is gradually filling up the Cuban
caves, and it is only a question Of time
when there will not be single cavern
left on the island.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
A Tabled Monster.

One of the tabled monsters of ancient
times was the unicorn 1t was, accord
ing to summary Of the opinions of sew
eral Of the oid-ti1ne writer's, beast
about the size of a common horse, bur
with very short legs. The people of
the middle ages believed in the existence
OF three kinds of uniforms: The mag
nificent white unicorn, which had a pur-
pie face and blue eyes and single horn
a yard in length; the eglisserion, which
rescmDled a gigantic deer and had {;
very sharp horn growing from the mid
die of the forehead, and the monoceros,
or common unicorn. The white uni
corn's horn was Of three different
colors, white at the lower part, black as
ebony in the middle and red at the
point. Common uniforms were said to
have had horns about 1S inches ii,
length. but so strong that they could
easily kill an elephant.
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
WHERE TELEGRAPHY FAILED.
It Might Do for Small Bundles and
Letters,


Letters.
There was man who lived in London
many years ago who had once been
elected member of parliament, and
never neglected an opportunity to en-
phasize the fact, says an exchange.
He was quite an infdel as to new dis
covcries and the new sciences, being
perfectly satisfied that if the world
should turn over all the water would
spill out Of his well, and only giving
in to steam locomotives by slow degrees.
But all the Walls Of his contempt We're
poured out upon the idea of telegraph,
and he was won't to say that nobody
need try to come ''the green" over him
in that way, for he had been an NJ. p.
Finally a high road was built, and one
day workmen began to put up telegraph
poles right in front of his house and to
stretch the wire. His exulting neigh
bors promptly asked:
"Well, old fellow, what do you think
of telegraphs novv?"
He was cornered, but he died game
Drawing himself up an. inch taller, he
said:
"Gentlemen, when was in parliament
I gave this subject my very attentive
consideration, and I said then, as
say now, that it may do for letters and
small bundles, but it will never take a
cotton bale-never!"
The Cook County herald. [volume] (Grand Marais, Minn.) 1893-1909, 1897-01-23
END OF THE CHESAPEAKE.
The Old Man-of-War Turned Into a Flour
Mill.

Mill.
An English journal contains the fol-
lowing item:
1T is not by any means widely known
that the Chesapeake, famous for her
historic encounter with the British
ship Channon in 1913, is in existence to-
day, but is used in the somewhat in
glorious capacity of a flour mill, and is
making money for hearty Hampshire
miller in the little parish of Wiclzha1n.
After her capture by Sir Philip B. V.
Broke she was taken to England in
1914, and in 1920 her tim bers were sold
to Mr.. John Prior, miller, of Wickham
Hants. Mr.. Prior pulled down his own
mill at Wickham and erected a new one
from the Chesapeake timbers, which he
found admirably adapted for the pur-
pose. The deck beams were, 80 feet
long. and served, without alteration,
for joists. Many of these timbers yet
bear the marks of the Shannon grape
shot, and in some places the shot are
sta to be seen deeply Embedded in the
pitch pine. The metamorphos:s of q
man-of-war into a peaceful life-sustain-
ing flour mill is, perhaps, as near an ap-
proach to the prophecy that spears and
swords shall be beaten into plows and
pruning hooks, as the conditions of
modern civilization will allow