Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-08-26
NOVEL DIVORCE SUIT.
Case Decided According to the Law
of the Spelling Book.

Case Decided According to the Law
of the Spelling Book.
For instance, Fifer Peppers wife de-
cided that she had enough of hay ranch
and perpetual jerked elk meat, and so
she set out for Fremont county, Idaho,
their ranch being across the line in
Uintah county, Wyo. Ten days after
ward Fifer Pepper came raging into
town and declared to Algy Withers,
who had in sort of way brevetted him
self into the position of protecting
the grass widow, that he was going to
have his wife, his rights or blood.
"Now, Fife" said Algy, who was town
marshal, kinder quieten down. Be
easy. Yeh see, there's two sides to be
considered in this here proposition.
This wife of yours says she won't no
way live with you agin, an Bill Hon
kins wants to marry her."
81 don't keer," said Fifer Pepper. 81
want my wife. She amt divorced, so
she's mine"
The justice of the thing zeemed to be
prima facie with Fifer Pepper, but the
sympathies of the townspeople were
with Mrs. Pepper. Pepper was all RICH!
so far as he went, but he was Wyo-
ming man, and his runaway wife had
appealed to the hospitality of Idaho
1t was thing to be looked at carefully.
| 1t was under great difficulties that
Algy Withers came out strong. Pepper
insisting on his proposition, and once
again mentioning the absence of di-
vorce, Algy said: well, doggone it,
we'll just have a trial of it and sec
about divorce"
"HoW you goin' to git divorce?"
inquired Pepper, with bravado. only
book you got in your whole towns an
old spellin' book. Where you goin to
git your law?"
But Algy said nothing. That night
Pepper was notified to be at the mar
shaps" office prepared to contest di-
vorce proceeding brought in the name
of the territory of Idaho, S." Pepper
nervously obeyed the call and found the
whole population of the town there.
Also his wife. Algy Withers rose, and
with dignity announced that accord
ing to legal form the case would pro-
coed. I'm the absence of any other
legal volume" he said ''the court, which
is yours truly, has concluded to use
this spelling book, an give out some
words naturally suitable to the various
parties. Mrs. Pepper, spell man. that
word bein' give you because you're try
in to git rid of yourn." Mrs. Pepper
successfully spelled the word.
piper, spell defendant which is
exactly the word to describe you"
Under protest Pepper spelled the word
with a phi and three ms. Zone agin
yeh," said Withers.
Armed with the spelling book, which
had been previously marked and an
notated, the court gave out then to Mrs.
Pepper such words as "sick," tired"
skip" work" and so on, while Pep
per was bombarded with quo war
ranto,'' Testimony" "alimony," "wit-
ness"-which he spelled with ''u"-
and verdict" Withers explaining,
with the approval of the bystanders,
that the words given were those exactly
called for by the divergent interests
at issue. Half an hour after court had
convened Fifer Pepper missed his last
word, the twelfth, which was "uncon-
stitutional." Withers, the judge, rose
and bowed courteously to Mrs. Pepper.
''Ma'am," he said, ''the jury has decided
in favor of you. You are free woman.
AS town marshal, hereby declare you
divorced from Fifer, an so help me
oh, by the way, Bill Honkins, can you
spell 'matrimony'-or, as it amounts to
the same, make it Splice"
Mr.. Honkins could and did spell the
shorter synonym and to Fifer Peppers
disgust two minutes later Withers pro-
nounced Honkins and the late Mrs. Pep
per man and wife. And both the mar
rage and the divorce were clinching as
BELTS legal ceremonies legally per-
formed.-Chieago Record.