The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-03-07

They war an awful hungry lot
And havin' nothin' much to do.
Invaygled the tars-the sun was hot
Into nice, seclooded spot.
Then ate that gallant crew
Her majesty missed a reception on ac-
count of that, and the foreign secretary
missed two first-class races. Then a cruz
ser went down there on business, but the
captain, not bein onto his job, was short
~ on the rocks, and when the men swan
ashore. the heather meE EN- with =
hearty reception. And it was awful an
noyin' after that to the people on the
English boats that went sailn' by to see
them savvidges a-sittin on the rocks and
sunnin' themselves dressed in British
naval uniforms and sarcastic smiles. And
the foreign secretary had taken to his
bed. So the papers asld.
We sail for London Tomorrow said
Absalom Bggs who was standin' In the
doorway with his hands in his pockets.
All the information you ever got out of
Absalom about his business was volun-
teered, so l saved my breath by askin no
questions We sailed with fair weather
and a good breeze. All the way over ABB
SALON. didn't do anything but walk the
deck with his hands in his pockets and
commercial expression on his face. Did
tell you that we didn't unload that rum?
I'VE reached London and Absalom put
on his best store suit to go up to see the
foreign secretary. He put one leg of his
for l don't know he says, how the for
eign secretary has hsn.' You see, Absa-
lom Biggs could carry water on both
shoulders about as well as anybody. We
had to pass about twenty secretaries and
assistant secretaries, and every blessed
one of 'em had an objection. but Absalom
outmaneuvered all of them. The for
eign secretary was sittin' In chair as
If IL had been built up around him. What
do you want?' said he, Iaokin' az his
watch. Permission says Absalom, to
catch Wally 30 L.ogn and ms cannybalS.'
You have It. said the secretary. and IL
you are successful her majesty WIN be
pleased to extend TO you her grateful
thanks and gracious concentration
And what might that combination be
worth? asked Absalom Biggs Ten thou
sand pounds said the secretary, shortly.
When we had a note to that effect We
left.
80 we sailed down the African coast
with a cargo part of rum and part OF wa
ter. We had no firearms Ammynition,
said Absalom costs money didn't un-
derstand his plan Once after trader had
tried to do business and Wally 30 Logn
at the same time with rum, but that sly
old chap ate the trader first and drank his
rum afterward. Business before pleas
ure.' remarked Wally 30 Logn.
1--WE went inshore at night by the dark
of the moon and while the heathen was
sleepin we lightered that rum to land
And then at daybrealz we stood or. There
along the beach. stood barrel after barrel
OF rum And every barrel had spigot and
a bright new tin cup, chained fast, for tin
cups cost money was what Absalom said.
1.-THE heather came down to look at tho
brig and speculate about the chances for
breakfast: the tin cups caught their eye,
and then, pretty soon. the rum caught
them. Absalom stood on the upper deck
and watched them: They're strong in the
t.,,&. Il han D. rasae
down below ana read his Pilgrims Pro-
gress' and Guide TO Wealth.
I'm the afternoon AbsaIom Biggs sur
veyed the scene again. He seemed kind OF
pleased. And, finally, when Wally 30 Logn
got his marine cap jammed down over his
eyes and his lieutenant"s sword tangled
up with his legs and sat down TO unmlx
himself Absalom ordered out the boats
Take care of all of them that can't take
care OF themselves kindly said he. BY
nightfall we had all the heather carefully
slowed below.
These are your instructions: Keep the
brig out of sight of land until further no
tce.' And then Absalom went back TO his
Guide TO Wealth
I'VE sailed up and we sailed down. We
tackled this way and that, and roamed
around at our own free will. One more
order we had from Absalom: All you
need give the savages is plenty of water
and room to play. No rum, he added,
absent-mindedly, for rum costs money.
And then heard him chuckel again and
say: They're strong in the body, though
weak in the head
"Well we went on a-sailln'. And Absa-
lom consulted me just once more. What
do you know about 'rithmetical retrogres-
sion?' he asked me. was young in those
days-almost young enough TO know
everything and, havin' the cannybals
on my mind, answered up smartly: The
water is a leetle brackish, but the harbor
Is fair and there are plenty OF palms. II
hadn't any inhabitants the last time
was there Never mind he said; IL you
take 760 and divide 1t in two. and then
every four days cut your nggers down
one-half, how long'll 1t be until you have
only one?' Bein' a little weak on hggers,
said nothing. And then he fell to cipher
In.
'After that Absalom didn't seem to take
any interest in our cargo. He usually
STAYED in the cabin and read. And the
Keep Mum kept sailin on, sometimes to-
ward the tropics and sometimes toward
the pole. It didn't seem to make any diff
ference to Absalom whether her canvas
from skysails to courses was spread TO a
spankin' breeze or tapped idly In dead
cam.
But finally, one day after he had held
a deep consultation with the almanac, our
course was laid for London. The mornin'
we went up the Thames Absalon's inter-
est in our cargo came to life. He lifted
up the hatch, careless like, and after
bit Wally 30 Logn's black head appear
ed. Now, through Twin with and on mis-
sionaries Mr.. 30 Logn could speak Eng
lish. We're goin ashore said Absalom-
ITO eat?' asked Wally 30 Logn. Yes re-
piled Absalom, and Wally nodded his
head. So we disguised him with linen
buster that fitted him rather soon, and
added some other clothes by way OF adorn-
ment; then up went we to the foreign sec
rotary. Between you'n me. he's better
man to do business with than the lord
high admiral, not havin so many titles.
The first assistant to somethin' stood in
the doorway with his nose tilted skyward.
we've business with the secretary. said
Absalom And what might your BUSH
ness be?' said his highness, with consid-
cradle scorn Eat, said Wally DO Logn.
and he smiled at him with his meet-you-at-
the-messroom smile, and his highness Just
shrank into nothin'. Then we steered
for the seeretary's office, and found him
AZ home with the same big chair around
him.
a. what do YOU wantY he said, frownin'.