The Newberry herald and news. (Newberry, S.C.) 1884-1903, 1897-07-02

! nhelSas And Ice cream and ride the see4
saw> Now that Is not enough for him
| 10 do; We therefore make some amend.
| Nnents 10 the i>log4aintMe, as fSslo@s$
| First, AN original song OF %elcSts,e SSy
Chips, Second, Chips shah SAt sum
FneisaNlCt Tor seventeen fniM0t,ss With
| ,oal stopping, al the sane time that We
are SNnloin& that polo, beginning 0ae
| minNte before We start and RhishiNE
| one mihate after We &re thS<yMsh,
! ThilA, a debate between CHIPS AMI
| Kay, SahjetE "asesolSned that NiaVYsed
] men Shoala not attend {aT>tieS eitherAt
] h6fRe ~, &m Ns>Hth sayoliM&," Alter
this debate We viii have esssys fsSom
! The aaay ,c1IN>e> aroiTseNsS NaH>emeii push
| ing, novel rv>$aing> etr san address hN
| ilustSer on The 'Jol,inea,ions ot Jolly
| Strcet>' >amosher song hy yGhips,set>onisd
| ty Gee Haw 0M The JewS,harp; general
| remarks by The other correspondents
on VarioNS topics, after which VIZ will
all sing "tiNrme, Sweet Nome," aud ad-
joorn> Huj $ay> Chips, you suggest tho
fair grounds for our place Of meeting.
Now that Is no, n good place, because
our au6irnce viii find attractions down
town that will cause thom to desert us
right in the midst Of that debate,
probably. and lhcn the whole business
this gathering anywhere near town,
because there wouldn't be any pleasure
In trying TO amuse and entertain our
friends, while they in turn swing their
hats ard handkerchiefs and applaud u
passing bicycle race or something else
of the kind just about the time you are
letting out u mouthful of soul-stirring
(eloqucnce. Let's have this thing in
the country, where we will not have so
many attractions to compete with.
OF all the human race, the most un-
fortunate being is the "bashful boy"
for he is always putting his foot in it
so TO speak. Sometimes he gets real
mad with himself and rushes in where
other angels of his tribe fear to tread,
and where he would not go himself, if
he were to stop and take II second
thought. With most people it is Il wise
maxim to "take the second thought,"
or in other words to reason, reflect,
consider, etc, but the "bashful boy"
who stops TO take the second thought
is in worse fix than iigity old maid
| waiting for bclatcd train which never
arrives, and consequently she never
| gets there. The best thing for the
bashful boy to do is to rush right in
and take hold OF the hot end of the
iron--for such is his prcdcstincd doom
and make the most Of it. If he wish
cs to say anything there is not bit of
use in waiting for that cussed second
| Thought, but rather spit out the first
! thing that comes up, for it is bound to
he entirely out of place, and probably
ridiculous any way, it matters not how
! hard he may try to think of some ap-
propriatc remark. There is, however,
one thing the bashful boy had better
| avoid, and that is never undertake to
| tell q Joke nor an anccdote, for his
auditors will laugh themselves hoarse
at the poor fellow, but never at what
he is trying to tell. With the above rs
All Introductory, the. undersigned will
quote the following sentence from
Nita's laot letter, and then no further
explanation Of our situation will be
necessary: "And I must request that
my better half be allowed at this meet
ing, so that Josh Trump will be con-
vinccd that Pm not u widow, and
there's little prospect of my ever be-
ing" Now what we are abou.to say
in reply to this fling may crente a
laugh among those who know us per-
sonally, but there is no use in mincing
words and wasting time trying to think
Of something moro appropriate to say,
so we wrecklcssly venture the follow
ing: l must request that my swe-swe-
swcet-hheart be allowed at this meet
ing, so that Nita will be convinced
that Pm not a bachelor, and there's
little prospect of my ever being one.
| (QuOth Josh Trump scrd; ;ching his
head: There now I've said it and there's
no use trying to rub it ont, so l might
as well fix up to catch h-ll er-a-hail,
Columbia, happy land.)
JOSH TRUMP.
Fork Academy, June %, 1897.