Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1897-04-16
DINNERS VS.. RORER.
AN OLD FASHIONED EJECTMENT CASE
IN TIE EACKWOODS.

IN VT1C OP>SNVVO0OO.
sPrimy Fishy" Evidence That the Coon
Was stolen-A Court That Wouldn't
Stand Dictation From Lawyers-Season-
able Reasons For Adjournment.
There was great stir at Rouzers Run
In the Pennsylvania backwoods. The cuse
before Squire Sniffets. Job Dinners some
time before had charged Sam Rorcr with
stealing coon from him, and, getting no
satisfaction, had called on Reuben Ray,
who "done boss doctorin an awin," for
advice. Reuben had advised "takin the
law on SAM" and Job had told him to 60
ehesd and make, Sam sweat. Reuben ap-
piled to Squire Sniffets for the necessary
papers to proceed in the case.
esquire" said he, "we've got case
ag'in Sam Rorer for 'properatin a coon.
The heft o. evidence is that he has eat the
coon, oil 'ceptin the skin. What we want
to git is writ O. habus corpus on him to
perjuce that skin afore you, SOS we kin
take perceedin's reg lar"
my opinion Is, Reub," said the squire
after due elaboration, THAT you hadn't
better do it. When you wunst git to habus
corpusin there amt no tellin where you're
goin to end up. Fust thing you know
you're liable to run slam ag'in tho consti-
tuition, an then where be ye? Don't 60 an
habus corpus. E-e-jectment. That's what
you want. E-e-jectment, Or trespassin on
the case. Is your evidence primy f1shy9"
"Primest kind, your honor" replied
Reuben. "T'other fcller's is fishy.''
''What you want, then," urged the
squire, "is a regular ole fashioned e.e-ject
ment."
''But you see, squire" psrsisted Reuben,
"a habus corpus will fetcl,''-
"'Twon't no sctch thing!' interrupted
the squire, who was getting testy. "Not
in this court it won't, cause won't issue
none.''
"Then can't we sort O. capias Sam IN
put the screws right to him?" suggested
Reuben, not willing to abandon his mode
of procedure entirely.
"Thero you 60 ag'in!" exclaimed tho
squire. Eyes, you kin capias him. Course
you kin! But can't twoplny at that game?
You capias Sam an then Sam II turn round
an capias you, an then as like us not some
durn fool'n capias Inc, an the fust thing
VIC know Well all be smpiased TO the
s'preme court an even if we keep outen
Jail the bar huntin'll l., all over fore
we re through, an none on lis won git q
smell on it! There won't be no capiasin
business goin on in this court, not this
time o. year. Do you want me to issue
the summonses fer your e-e-jectment or
don't your"
So it was settled in that way, and Reub
broughta "rcal ole fashioned e-e- jectment''
against Sam Rorer on behalf of his client,
Job Binners The day had como for the
trial before Squire Sniffets, and Rouzcr's
Run was all there to hear it. Pete Wis
well, the blacksmith was likewise prac
titioner in the squire's ''court," and had
charge of Sam f,orers interests. Squire
Sniffets was busy mending a pair of boots
when tho hour arrived for tho trial, but he
put the work aside, and keeping his leath
or apron on and his seat on his bench, said
he was ready. The squire detested coons
and coon hunters, and this casewas none Of
his liking. He raped on his lapstone with
his shoe hammer tor order in court.
"As preliminary to be made afore this
here case perceeds," said he, II want to
state that tho court has made all its ar
rangements for goin bar huntin, an there
won't be no delay in the perceedins, as the
court has thunk the case all up, an kin
hand down an opinion Oh the double quick.
Where's the culprit?"
Reub Ray jumped up and said:
''There aint no culprit if your honor
please. This is an e-e-ject'-
'Shet up!' exclaimed the squire II
guess the court knows a culprit when it
sees one Stan up, Binners"
Job stood up, astonished and scared.
$50 you've been coon huntin, have
your" said the SQUIRE looking up over his
glasses at Job.
"Well, yes, your honor" Job stammered.
II was out u little spell, t'other eyenin,
but only killed one, an that'n Sam Rorer
stoled an cat it!'
'This here court holds that man
that'n go out with mallish aforethought
an hunt coons is q dangerous citizen to be
runnin loose" said the squire. "Job Bin
ners, the sentence o. this court is that you
pay the costs o. this here suit an a fine O.
3 shillin. Stan up, Sam Rorer'
Sam got up, scared in his turn.
"You're charged with bein excess'ry
after the fact by catin that coon," said the
squire. Guilty or not guilty?'
"NOt guilty, your honor" answered
Sam, fumbling with his hat and gazing
vacantly around "I-1-I fed it to my
hog, your honor"
~ blieve you're lyin, Sam, but J.
hahn t got no proof on it," said the squire.
"Job Dinners has 'cused you O. eatin
coon, an this court decides that it's clear
case O. slanderin you. For that give you
Judgment fer shillin ag in Job anyhow"
"This is your ole fashioned e-e-ject-
ment, is it9" shouted Reub Ray, shaking
his fist at the court.
"An right! Good reason why you
wouldn't give me habus corpus to fetch
In that skin. But I'll peal this case till
you'll wish you'd never ben born"
"'Peal an be burned" replied the
squire, rising and taking of his apron.
"This courts adjourned to 60 bar hunt |
in."-New York journal.