The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-08-22

an I can't. Well I done me beer drinkin'
wild a spoon ac' twist, an John e wanted
TO try it, too. Z said e could do anything
wild his tummick as any one else could Go
wild their'n
We'll e drinkt de six beers all right
IN de six minutes, but e dam near kilt
de timekeeper wat wus on de stage wild
MN wild de spoon when e got some er
de beer into his nose and choked. The
tmekeeper laughed, an John jabbed i'm
wild dc spoon so it broke. Dere wasn't
no odder spoon, so John drunk de rest er
de beer down widout takin' out no time
fer der scrap wild de timekeeper Said
dat all bets wus off E wus jolly enough
after ed jabbed de timekeeper, but some
er de ash g his segar fell inter der beer
an e drunk it. Dere amt nuthin Xix
segar ashes inter beer ter make de drunk
come Knockout drops amt in it.
W ell, say, me mex turn was de indie
structible body ac'. Amt yer never seen
It? Course yer amt if yer amt seen me.
Dere amt anodder gent in de worlt as
can stan de endurance wot l done at der
Peoples fer nine hunts runnr l gives
de audiece de play tn come up on de stage
an bat me wild a cane, tree bats fer two
blts-dats quarter in Chicago. yer
know. 1 let's EN- take a billiard cue by
de big en- fer six bits, an dey kin wing
it by de little en- and it me wild de butt
ADi - oCIAeiAs eight DilSs
Den me gran stan bluff is: An if
any lady or gent I'D be pleased to use a
base ball bat, it'll be me pleasure III sub
NIT al 50 sold fer each and every blow.
I've been at it fer six years, yer see, an
dere amt no blow can faze me much
when l turns me back and takes it as me
old woman done it to me when l was a
kid l wus horned tough, de old woman
made me tougher, an / been gettin' more
don do muffin more'n put me blood in
circulation, an base BAH bat usually, de
way dem felers at de Peoples used to
swing it, didn't cut no ice. neider.
But, say, on dis ere night er me bene-
fit, when de big teller wild is skate laid
down $40 gold piece an said ed take
two for a starter, wild de bluff club l 'ad
in me and about four foot long, l was
going to tro' up me job. 1 would if it
wusnt fer de benefit money, which some
times de Teller who has de benefit gets
10 per cents. of.
so l leans over de barrel wot I uses
ter support me under de shock and which
as it amt fastened to nothin'. gives some,
an 1 can push it eTlong er little wild me
toes when / sees de stick comm. AS soon
as wus ready which 1 wUsnt, but every
body fought | wus, de big Teller swung
round and fetched. l give a bit OF er push
just as e landed, a little morn I meant
ter, an e caught me on de fly. | didn't do
a ting but go troo de stone wall as wus
painted on de scenery an break a table
some stiff 'ad lef agains' it on de odder
side, wild afire eXtinguisher and de six beer
glasses on 1t.
Maybe de house didn' holler. John Con-
sidine, who owned de place, comes outer
is box onto de stage benin de scene jes
as 1 wus peepin' tToo de hole tn see
whatell an e gives me a lif' troo onto der
stage agin wild is foot, and says why
der stage instead eff trough her sceneries?
Watell du yer tink her benefits fer? Yer
helt?'
LAS lands out on ter de stage dey all
yells ergain an / bows a little, wild me
neck mostly. an says. dat was defines fly
ever flew, an dat II I 'adnt slipped on
secon base I'd made er ONE run. Say, de
ordnance thrun money at me den, an l
ad er ell of er time er pickin' it up, but
give EN- de laugh all de time an nobody
never taught l was sore. When l turns to
bow 70 John L. e wus ersleep in er box
Say, | wish John L. would go, too. Wot
a team we'd make knockin' out grizzlies!
mo, hain't erfraid er no mules.
Go broke in mines? Freeze? Be eat
up by de muskeets? Nav!
Yer can't lose me. Say, 1 wuz often
broke, but 1 never wus hard up. See?
l can allus do a turn ere or a turn dere,
see? Dere's operer house in Forty Mile
an dere's going to be one in Dawson. I'm
er hull show mesef anywhere l kin do
more things n anybody could tink of in er
week. l kin get troo de Klondike all
right. I kin pack meself t'roo. I'm half
Injun, an can do anything in der viii Ian
can work thirty hours er day an live
on air. Wen 1 get ter de mines I kin
make er stake dat'n fix de ole woman fer
ever, an me too, but don care so about
dat.
Il kin work de two mules troo o. X.
an il won be no worse 'en a trip l took
onst in 'er dry goods box when a Teller
sent me fer Xmas presen' from Frisco
ter er gun in Sacramento. Der box got
dere on de Xmas day, an der mex day
was Sunday, an l was stood on me head
till de box was opened Monday mornin'
1 amt skeered about der grub, too fer
was in a cage wild hair glued onto me and
had TO jump up an down an boiler ooff
ooff, gooff. gooff fer tree hunts onct, an
eat everything raw. An it never faxed
me-" Clarence l.. BroWnel.