The Atlanta constitution. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1885-19??, 1897-11-15
BIhh ARp'S LETTER
Written for The Constitution.

There is no rest for the wicked" This
world is all Geeting show and Jordan is
a hard road to travel. | believe! There are
other calculations ! might uttcr,u for OF
late there has been trouble on the old man $
mind. You see, | was invited over here to
talk TO these people in humorous ana
philosophic way and my wife said as the
larder getting low and the girls needed
some more winter clothes. and the tax
man bobbing around and the grand
children would be expecting something FOR
Christmas, she thought | had better SO.
SO she packed my valise with my best
clothes and fortified me with little drug
store of camphorated oil and flannel ana
liver medicine and paregorc and cough
drops and Quninc and headache powders,
and so forth and SO on. We kissed Goodby
all round and departed feeling me l was
being driven off from home by sad ncces-
sity. | took the Scaboard Airline at Al
lanta bound for Charlotte. via Monroe, but
our engine broke down at Greensboro about
dark and this delayed is three long, dreary
hours. and when We reached Monroe it was
way after midnight and the Charlotte train
had gone. There were three nice ladies'
aboard and several gentlemen, who were
greatly disappointed. but the conductor was
kind and sympathetic and said there was
circus train near by that was going TO
Charlotte right away and if we didn't
mind riding thirty miles in cab he would
get the privilege. The ladies
said yes and we did, too. and
climbed in. 1t was as dark as
Erebus. We felt our way to find seats
but there was nothing but some Ions tool
boxes whose lids were hard and cold. There
was no IRE and the wind blew through
broken glass on the back OF my mead. The
ladies chattcd away merrily, for they were
going home. but | wasn't and | couldn't
t.4fI
and thought of that good sort bed at
home. BY and by the conductor came in
with a lantern ana took up our tickets ana
eft US in the dark again. About that time
the animals got r-jtless and the lion save
an mccarthy howl. You see this was a
menagerie train.
The animals went in two by two,
The elephant and the Kangaroo
and every time the cars careened about or
swung round curve we could hear some
devilish noise ahead of US. oh. mercy"
said the youngest girl, suppose they break
OUT They will eat the sweetest and
tenderest first" said l, Lions always do
| pulled my cloak up over the back OF my
head and ruminated. For two long hours
we logged along, for the train was running
slow to suit the wild beasts and we We're
Of no consequences 1t was near clock
when we got TO the suburbs of Charlotte
nobody rushed forwa ID to meet Us, TO
porter nor haclman-no omnibus or street
cars, not even wagon or an OK cart or a
darly. The moon had hid herself to Keep
from seeing our misery, but we sei2'd
our grps and wraps ana Satch'ls
ana made march for the electric
lights. Ny companions soon separated
from me and | marched in single file with
my big valisc full of clothes and the drug
store and struggled for three quarters OF q
mile up the long and hard sidewalk. am
not used to arc lights. and the hickernS
shadow Of every tree and telegraph polo
looked Ike Il man in ambush WHO was
fixing to hold me up. had forgotten where
the hotels were, and uncOrSciouSly passed
them. for the doors were all shut, and there
was no sign. by and by | met policeman
end he conducted me back to tine h"iti,
ond | was as thankful as | was tired and
humble My pltful tone of voice secured
mo Kind attention and bed. When a
man is far away from home, ms Warmeal
welcome is an inn. But l did not rest well.
A 10 o'clock supper, on fried sausage ara
scrambled eggs and stale oysters, DIS
turbed my corporosity and | dreamed tndt
the tiger got loose and came proving ana
bowling around the car and somehow | got
Il Ratchet out of the tCOlboX and lifted the
Young lady through the port hole upon the
roof and volunteered to defend her with
nv life and my sacred honor The tiger
made desperate leaps to get up there, but
every time he got paw on the cave, ! cut
il off and let him fan back again. ! don't
know what became of the other ladies. but
think that other wild beasts got IN aud eat
them up. The men had all fed premature
~ but | saved the pretty girl. the sweetest
and tonderest. before l woke up. Who
wouldn't in a dream? What curious things
are dreams, anyhow The next trouble on
the old mans mind came over him at Sails
bury. where | was billed to lecture
that night On my arrival | found
that august body, the Presbyterian
synod in session. Preachers ana elders
.nnumersble were scattered among the good
people all over town. They We're holding
night sessions. and wouldn't have add
iourned for, Mckinley or Grover Cleveland
or the yellow fever or q fire But this was
not all the Episcopal bishop was to lecture
on the Holy Land where he had been re-
Gently and / knew that l would fall be
tween and get smothered. Mr. Marsh
seemed to feel very bad. and apologized by
saying that when he booked me ne did not
know of these meetings. "Well." said |, "the
saints Will all so to these meetings but
YOU have sinners in this town" He admit
ted that there were some. And 50 | went
ahead and lectured, and was surprised to
see before me a select and cultured audi
cnce select, and ] hope elect according to
Presbyterian theology.
So all is well that ends we'll The next
evening found me at the nice little town Of
Marion, in western North Carolina, away
UP in the land of the sky. They are good
people there | know. for they filled the
courthouse that night and gave me ova-
ton The old soldiers are thick i'll that
region aud they came out to hear me, and
some of us got together and talked of Old
Bob Lee and Joe Johnston and Generals
Early and Render and Whiting and Hohe
and Ransom and Pettgrew and Clingman
and others Their eyes Watered and their
hearts burned within them, and they got
closer and closer together. What peo-
ple these tar-lleels .are-these descendants
of the Scotch, About every other name is
Scotch a McLane or McFall o. MCLaurin
or Macarthur or McSomet hingelse, and then
there are Alexanders everywhere and Cald
wells and Carlyles. After the
lecture we had a musicale at the
hotel by the gifted Gruber family, who
keep the hotel. Mr.. Gruber and Mrs. Cru
Der and their seven children. [ have heard
much music during NY long life. but |
never heard any better anywhere. How III"
old mans fingers id dance upon the
strings; how sweetly did the still handsome
matron sing the Last Rose of Summer"
and other old-time songs of Scotland! w nat
der the touch of the young ladies and the
sweet little blaCk-cyed girl Of only ten sum
mers. And when they played Home,