Butler citizen. [volume] (Butler, Pa.) 1877-1922, 1897-08-19

Just at the right instant, but Just as he
thought he had made a success Of IL some
thing fell on the floor with jar that
shook the house. 1t was Mr.. Bowser. He
had missed the hang OF it. For long
minute he lay there looking up at the
ceiling and trying TO make out what had
happened. Then, as things began to clear
up, Mrs. Bowser appeared and asked:
Are you trying TO break your back to
keep your arms from withering? thought
the whole house was coming down"
Woman" gasped Mr.. Bowser as he
slowly sat up. you hoped 1 had killed
myself, but l only sat down TO rest. You
can trot right down stairs again and at
tend to your household affairs
She disappeared, and he took three or
four minutes to study it out. He had not
swung his body hard enough, and he tried
to throw his right leg over the bar instead
of the left. His back and shoulders aehed,
but he rose up with grim determination
to succeed or die He was in no hurry,
however. He went at it cautiously, and
after three or four efforts he suddenly
lifted himself, and his leg went over the
bar. For ten seconds he was tickled half
to death as he hung there. Then it occur
red to him that he had got to get his leg
down again or remain on the perch all
night. He tried again and again, but he
couldn't do it, and, losing his nerve, he
called for Mrs Bowser.
"What are you trying to do?" she asked
S. she came running up stairs
ITO get that leg off the bar'' he
shouted.
but don't you see that you can't do it
unless you raise your whole body? You
are sagging down like bag of sand.
What did you want to get your leg over
forY''
81 dunno, but something will have TO
be done"
Better leave it up there all night.
There are signs that your spinal column
is whitening away, and the position may
do it good. "
Can't you help lift me upP'' he plead
ed Il don't believe can hold on here
another minute"
you'll have to. I'll get the cook, and
maybe both of us can boost you up.
Didn't tell you just how it would come
out? If somebody should tell you TO hang
yourself up by the hair of the head to turn
your toes out, you'd do it. "
She went down stairs and left him hang
ing on like grim death, his face as red az
a beet and the perspiration trickling down
his neck. She didn't call the cock. She
simply sat down to wait for results. In
about three minutes they came. Mr.
Bowser maintained his grip until his fin
gers were numb, and all of a sudden he
uttered a yell and let 60. His leg hold
sustained him for few seconds, and then
there was another yell and n crash. He
had only three feet TO fall, but as he struck
on his head and fell over like a sturdy oak
the cook in the kitchen dropped the dish
pan and jumped for the back yard. Five
minutes Inter Mr.. Bowser heard himself
asking:
where am 1, and what has happened?"
"You are right under your performing
bar and have performed" he heard Mrs.
Bowser answer.
Gam L killedS
ooh, no. On the contrary, you are no
longer in any danger of being witbered
up. Take long Whit of this camphor
and lie quiet for few minutes.
''What-what was l trying to do?' he
whispered between his shifts.
81 think you were trying to skin the
cat, as they call it, but the cat skun you.
Let me help you down stairs and get you
into bed
Next morning Mr.. Bowser got up with
a lop in each shoulder, limp in either leg
and his baek bumped up, but he was
game. When Mrs. Bowser asked him how
he felt, he replied:
"Same as usual. Why?"
81 didn't know but the fall hurt you. "
"Fall-fall! What fallf'
"From your performing bar last night
Don't you remember?"
"No, ma'am, 1 don't, " he stiffly replied
IF you allow yourself to become biliou--
nnd-IIave Uhe nightmare, you need not
bother me with your fantasies. It's my
opinion that you'd better do some perform
ing on the gas and coal bills and not be so
reckless in your household expenses.
M. QUAD.