Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-11-27
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Shc-"What Is meant 10y going from
bad TO worseT" lie-"rGetting mar
ricd Il second time" --Cleveland Leader.
shc-"Thc Sanfords contemplate TAX.
ing trip to Europe. I wish we could
AFFORD to do It," lic--"Why. there's
r.,,..s,no cheaper than contemplation"
Puck.
Wutts-"Ueiting little res, out you.
Ny since the piano girl took to the
wheel. aren't youT' Potts-"Naw.
Her bicycle suit is louder than the
piano was. "-lndianapolis Journal.
Fuddy-"l understand that Wiglcy
spends most of his evenings here mt
your house, Duddy--"I had an i'm.
preston that It was my evenings that
lie spends here.'-Boston Transcript.
The Judge-"Didn't tell you the last
time that you were here that wanted
To see your face in this court no morcT
Weary Wntkins-"You did. ycronncr.
and that Is exactly wot toe the cop"
There's the bicycle face and the bicycle
back.
With its queer. alttudinous curve:
Aud the bicycle tongue. In the middle
hung.
And the scorchcrs bicycle nerve.
Queensland Wheel.
Customcr-"Do you guarantee these
porous plasters to- be good for n weak
lmckT" Druggist-"Ycs sir: they are
good for week back-and for month
80 come after you put them on."-Judge.
A Remarkable woman.--Mr. McCor.
kic-"My wife has better memory
than any other woman I know" Mr..
Observation-Disclosures" Mr.. McCorklc
--"Yes: she always remembers what's
trumps. Judge.
II told her I was afraid to kiss her
while we were on the tandem for fear
we would both fall on what did lie
ay!" "She said she hoped l didn't
call myself an experienced wheelman."
Chicago Record.
Fuddy-"Thcy say you have n liking
for Miss Spontcl." buddy Nonsense!
The woman is insupportable." Fuddy
That's just It. You won't have to
support her. she's got enough for
two."-Boston Transcript.
Gen; ,solicitously,-"Sir.1 have here
some indestruc,iblc pieplates." Mr..
Hall Bcdroone ,grimiy)-"Well. you
have come to the right house to sell
them. That's the sort of pies Mrs.
skinner gives us."-luck.
Il understand their engagement has
been broken" "Yes. She says she was
deceived. lie had only six century runs
to his credit instead Of sixteen. and as
she had fourteen herself. he was clear.
~ out of her class. Chicago Post.
Advice from the Hcart.--Barrow-
THAT'S dandy wheel YOU have there,
old man. I'll take u little spin on II
some day. by the way. what kind Of q
wheel do you think ! ought to rider
Marrow--"Onc' of your Own."-BrOok
Ign Life.
"Sevcn dollars FOR a room and brcal;
fast? Great Scott. man. that IL awful
~ steep. And awfully high said the
victim. YES" admitted the summer
landlord. ut IL so high and steep tha
I don't see how I can come dOwn."-ln
diannpolls Journal.
\ Game Law In Itsclf.--GObang-"
think I'll do quite II little shooting thii
summer. ] wonder what the close sen
son list" Buckshot-"well, In you,
ease. old man, l fancy II you applied 4
the Legislature, they'd throw the who'll
year open to you."-Truth.
"He Is an awfully wise young man
TO have seen no more than twenty
three summers" lie may have seei
hut twenty-thrce summers, but TIT
number of summer girls he has me
runs up to the hundreds" --IndlunapOli
Journal.
TITS surprising how impractical SOM
very learned men are" "Ycs, there
T'rof. Lingwlst. for example. Hc spen
over half his life In acquiring fuenc!
In nine or ten different languages AM
then went and married wife VIII
never gives him chance to get wOr'
ia edgeways."
II happened to remark little Will
ago, In the presence OF Miss Billmore
that some persons carried their fond
ness for cycling to extreme lengths. u
like to know what there was In that OF
servatiOn to cause her to turn red cn'
say, Sir" "Great Scott! Don't yO
know? She Is engaged to a young b
cyclist nearly six and half feet high.
Chicago Tribune.
A man had been up for I'm cxamina
ton In scripture. had failed utterly an
the relations between him and the eA
aminer had become somewhat strained
The latter asked him IL there were an
,cxt In the whole Bible he could quot
lie Wondered and then repeated: IAN
Judas went out and hanged himself.
us there any other verse you know !
the Blbley the examiner asked. I'VE,
Go thou and do likewise There wa
solemn pause and the proceeding
acknowledgements.
\ gentleman had left his corner sea
in an already crowded railway car I
20 In search Of something To eat, leaN
Ing a rug 10 reserve bis seat. ON n
turning he found that, In spite of tn
rug and the protests OF his fellow pa,
sengcrs. the seat had been usurpcd b
one in lady's garments. To his pro
tcstatiOns her lofty reply was: DO 20
know, sir, that ] am one OF the dire,
tors wiyes?' Madam" he replied
"werc you the directors only wife,
should still protest" -Argonaut.
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Eggs should Never BE BOILED,