The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-05-16

W 1EAAlC4AAbEA lN-dAAh
after I came home she wrote me that it
was a perfect wreck; she said her husband
had stepped in it,"
No Barriers to Mention.
In a coterie of clerical gentlemen, the
other day, the topic of a universal religion
cane up for discussion. and a good laugh
circulated at the expense of aNery tall
ented and broad-minded Episcopal rector
who was present. The possibility of merg-
ing differing creeds into one common be-
lief was thoroughly canvassed, each de-
nominational representative stating what
he thought his church would willingly con-
cede toward the great store of advanced re-
ligious opinion; then some one suggested
that Brother Lampton had not been heard
from. "Oh, Brother Lampton's all right,
commented a ~jocular clergyman: his
church would come in-he hasn't anything
TO give up, anyway, except the prayer book
and progressive eucher."
a Juvenile Comment.
The sufferings of the small children in
large families is a theme which deserves
special attention. Five-year-old Julia is the
seventh member in a family of eight chill
dren, and she evidently feels deeply the
hardship of her lot in life. Fortunately, she
has an adIniring ~ueighbor-a married lady
without any little ones-and to the house
of this dear friend Julia occasionally mi
CRATES, taking her doll and tea set, together
with changes of raiment, so that, if she is
made welcome and feels like it, she can re-
main several days. On one of these visits
-halcyon episodes in little Julia's exist
ence-her friend sat sewing and singing.
Among other things, she sang Home,
Sweet Home and when she had ended she
said: Julia, isn't that a pretty song
Home, Sweet Homer"
Yes rather deliberately answered the
visiting %youngster, lit is pretty-but it
isn't true
h FrOwned Her Down.
Once on a time L had a very interesting
experience with an alarm clock" said a
popular school teacher recently. 1T was
one of these fussy little S5-cent clocks, war;
ranted to scare a woman into nervous pros
tration for a year, and then stop short,
never to tick again. l had bought the clock
for my bedroom, and then discovered that
l needed it daily in my schoolroom. Not
being opulent enough to purchase another
clock, | hit upon the laborious plan of car
rying it to school every morning and bring
ing it home again in the evening. The
dreadful little whizzy alarm never had
acted just right, and, one afternoon, when
l was walking home with the clock under
my arm, that hideous little gong began to
go off. Such a racket you never did hear;
it sounded worse than usual. Fortunately,
there was only one person on the block, d
lady, coming toward me. AS she APP
preached l made up my mind l would act
like the Spartan boy with the fox gnawing
his yitals-I would not let her know that
that alarm clock was on my person. So l
took on an astonished stare. l eyed her
with great curiosity. My glance said plain
ly, What is all that whizz going on under
your cloak? What do you mean by it?'
My manner had the desired effect. She inn
mediately took on an apologize air and got
past me as fast as she could. The alarm
stopped in a few seconds and l moved on
homeward, humiliated a tritie, perhaps, but
not vanCuished."
An Error in Figures.
Preliminary to Easter Sunday cane the
Easter SALE and the universal woman
was involved in all the various excitements
incidental to raising money for the church.
To a very industrious and willing church
woman came another woman to ask her if
she would contribute some of her famous
doughnuts to the bazaar and supper about
to be given. Il suppose / can" the dough-
nut lady answered, how many do you
want?" Eleven hundred answered the So
Letting lady. Eleven hundred!' the other
woman exclaimed, looking aghast; Il never
could undertake to make that many; 1T
would take me days and days, and put me
in bed besides" The soliciting church
woman expressed her regret that the other
woman couldn't undertake the %doughnuts,
and then went away. In a few days she
returned. Mrs. Blank, she said, Il have
come to see you about those ~doughnuts
again. L made a mistake when here the other
day; 1t Amt eleven hundred we want; it
is eleven dozen.' Eleven dozen!' repeated
the doughnut lady; that's different-any-
body can make eleven Dozen
Our Mean Ancestors.
did it ever occur to you" asked a
young man in the book corner, what shah
by tricks our ancestors play us? l nave
several uncles and aunts whom / nave
never seen, but whom l heartily detest be-
cause they have treated me so badly. MY
Uncle Gerard went TO California before /
was born, and all I know about him is that
he was an elderly bachelor and a very
handsome man. He died out there not long
ago, and do you know he didn't leave a
thing except a few diamond studs and rings
and some old watches and chains. l call
that simply outrageous-a man who stays
years in California has no business to die
and not leave his nephews a large fortune.
He is a despicable creature, in my mind.
Only the other day / discovered that we
used to have relatives in France and that,
years and years ago, the family received
letters from them, which had been all
burned. Now, don't you know all those old
foreign stamps would be valuable to-day?
OF course they would. My grandmother is
always telling about some beautiful orna-
ment or fine bit of jewelry which she used
to have and which my various aunts. in
other States, of course, have lost. or given
away. 1t is too exasperating. There ought
to be a law to protect us from our ances-
tors"
Plus and Times.
Cert" sat by me on the street cars. And
in two minutes and a half she told me all
about herself. MY names Gert-Gert
Smith," she said. I'm twelve years old.
but L don't look like it, do +? And I'm
on'y in the third reader, too. But / don't
care-taint my fault; it's sickness that's
KEEP me down. 1 live out in the country.
but I'm in town, boarding with aunt and
goin' to school. That old school out where
/ live amt no count; they never taught
a thing out there but a little jogafy. an
plus, an times" Plus an times?" I
whispered to myself. Plus must be adj