davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
swearing he procured another driver. and struck

swearing he procured another driver ana S"u'h
NV n.Pts It? I've knocked 1t on, Of sight he
shouted gleofully
His friend grnucd. , -,
,lts rght there. Spice pointing to y the PAL na
which rcposcd quietly on the ground you nave
only knocked The tee out Of sght Ism q"''' 10
Syh set his jccjh sriInly and determined to knock
that bah across jhc river If il took al summer.
The next two strokes sent the bali into IN" rt,r.
c~ rcnaTtd that the balls cost 20 cents apiece.
and the club g. which would buy hGr TWO IhlIs oi
10 work again did finally succeed in getting bah
across ana into the long grass ,,,.r, s,,,r,,,,
around CLUB in hand and ierccly remarked: Look
here jenkins. don't allow any man 10 can NE
Jenkp explained that the Poson n Of i 9g 'p bs
drove a BAH easily hundred yards beyond Spicers'
TO that eentlemans surrrsc and envy ,.,
You will want ceek.', said the golfer. when
"0h. thai IRON poker l. IT,? CALCULATED Seth. seiz
ing il and Immediately driving the ball straight
at the caddys head. who was entirely Out Of or
jenkins here YEARLY remarked that the boy was
the only son Of a poor widow. and possibly 1t would
mo-, cost much 10 XIII him Arrived at the putting
lis bali acted as II possessed Of evil spirit it
would stop just short Of the hole. then roll over
ii and all around IT, and finally seemed to drop In
BatheG in rcrspiration. but determined as ever
Seth started for the next drive. which was from
high bug across marsh his friend l@d OF s, hnI
n mskng mghy effort FORT and andns his bali with
sckeninE thud IN the mud 10 Of IN the marsh
want a loficr;' asked lhc canhy
and sending mud IN all directions while the ball
eisurcly advanced "A foot at time. but still he
perseveIcd until he arrived at the last hazard"
quite wide ditch.
BY some especial good fortune the ball skipped
over and spiccr rushed joyrully to q narrow plank
which crossed the ditch. slipped wildly waved his
club and fcll on the broad Of his back in the mud
and water. When ne had been iShcd out by his
friend and the caddy. had gncakcd into the hotel by
the rear entrance, shed his disOrdcred and socG
clothing and WAS rubbing his bruises. softly swear
ing meanwhile. MIS-. Spiccr swcctly remarked that
l.. Ear,. no M a ne "A
by ATTEMPTING golf again.
Since his return to the city, however Spicor has
been seen earnestly inspecting the windows Of
dealers I'm sporting goods. ana IL Is surmiscd that
he is still ambitious to become golf player.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
A GREEN HAND AT GOLF.
THE TERMS CONFUSE TIE NOVICE. AND
his REMARKS ARE VERY QUEER

From The Boston Globe.
1t was a bright summers day when Mr.. Spicer
hearty breakfast which with the clear mountain
air, had put him in pleasant state OF rind. ~,
asked al Individual who was dressed in i costume
which seemed to be mixture OF scotch oasp'per
Last night" replied spicer; but what have you
got that oIess on ior going to Leo Hunter fancy
lis friend rrinncd and said Fancy dress be
BANKED: tns is my goit suit -. ..,..,,,r,, c,oo-
he sazed at the pair OF slim legs incaSeu !,
exceednsy uncomfortable WSoen o nose sea ", "' be
some thing OF prodsal son; but you do not seem 10
have got the fattcd calf =, ,,.,, hroooho, and
costormonger's caps chuckied at This. and as tne
parry sroed of for the r SpcG Win U
able interest when his friend who WAS As the ia aS,
S Us? 'Af lSiHk You ! cCail catch on to
"Catch on to IT," Said Seth contemptuorsly DO
y0n think sngG %b Snt a Mas q
'' "Al i'i riFSt. old man Would you like drive
"WhaIs the use of driving across the river when
Tia! ha! That is not, bad. but l mean would
the liver, a' am r. and Seth gave the club his
frsnl had loaned him mighty swing WING any toe:
'T oh S.G have MT made any any ca said spccr with
Chinesc game with your teas and caddies?"
golfer NJ hf ba Sas pf Sis 99d
could get out Of the way Seth swung his, club
and caught that gentleman , pr}E prod thumb
What in biazcs did you do tina, for" shTeked
BEG your pardon" said splcer neryously y
darned hing and swinging his club again while
his friend stood at safe distance. he struck the
ground with thwack that spintered the club and
sent singing pains clear up 10 his shoulder.
After a short. savage dance and some subdued
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
SIZE WOULDN'T no.
From The Cleveland Plain Dealer.

From The Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The telephone bell in the office of Blank Dash &
Co. jnGlcd uoiSily. The young woman who at.
tends to the typcwriting responded.
rs this Bank. Dash X Co" came faraway
voice.
Yes"
81 want Blank. Dash & CO."
This is Blank. Dash Il Co."
"Who is this talking"
ITS Bank. Dash ~ Co"
"ls this Blank
NO; it's Blank Dash & Co"
say this is lady talking, isn't it?'
IL tell you it IS
IT'S a lady. isn't it.?
The young woman hesitatcd. She annoyed
by the callers persistcncy.
YES" she said, its a lady but
well" said the caller Will you Please have
man step 10 the phone"
"A man" repeated the typewriter.
ayes. | want somebody can damn"
The young woman set the receiver down very
suddenly and called Mr.. Dash to take her place.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
4 7ENDERFOOTS Gun.


From Tho Louisville Dispatch.
Northern men were scarce In Texas In 1879. said
the Chicago man. who was aft'rward a Texas
ranger. "luI nos particularly wei! ikcd 10y the
alive Texans. they called themselves When !
left chicago for Texas had provided myself with
4 fOrmiddbi" weapon In IN" form Of -22-rIlibr"
revolver. and had no doubt that would be ablr To
cope with the most bloodthirsty adycrsari'-. Ar
irving At my destination ! soon began 30 form
aCqutntluccs among tn" citizens OF tn" city in
which had taken up my temporary residence
"Strol'ing into the pdHtal saloon known the
Glass Front one evening soon after my arrival.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
REFORMED HIS FATHER.
HOW A FOOTBALL PLAYERS PARENT WITHDREW
From The Detroit Free Press
HIS SET RESOLUTION.

From The Detroit Free Press.
See here, my SON. you must either retire from
the junior partnership I've just given you or you
must quit football and the old merchant sat very
straight In his office chair.
IF it's a mere matter of choice, prefer foot
ball"
"Of course you do. just like any other feather
headed boy, but your decision involves all your
future prospects. once out of here you must shift
for yourself Understand that"
Alter much discussion the old gentleman con-
scented to let the young man play one more game.
and to be present witness, much as he dis
liked the brutal and barbaroUs sport.
With his ulster collar about his ears. his face
enveloped in frowns and his hands in his pockets.
the stern man OF business saw the kickoff Inside
of three minutes his hands were beating the air
while he shouted encouragement to the home
eleven. go through emf he yelled excitcdly.
Tear EN- up. That's il. boys, pulverize EN-! Dyna-
mite EN-! Go it. Charley" as his son tore around
the end with the bail. Get there boy! WhoOpee!
Knock that fellow down II he tries to get In your
way again. Keep a-humpin'. lckety split, Charley!
Hooray; you threw that fellow rod. Wish
could get hold of him. Tried to pull you down,
saw him. the rascal. Good dodge. Hip!
Hip! Tiger! You beat 'em all out Charley.
Never mind what said to-day Beats anything
ever saw" and the forid-faced old gentleman who
had been rushing along the ropes like a mailman
was right there at the goal. still putting and shout
Ing
Now father and son go to the games together.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28

the bar. pale and terrified. Then the whole gang
began to laugh One Of them bound up my arm
with handkerchief. and they insisted that drink
with them AS | could escape from my
tormentors fastened back to the hotel and sum-
moned doctor He pronounced my injury only
a slight flesh wound The next day was arrested
by the deputy who had shot me, brought before
magistrate and fined $50 and costs for carrying
weapon"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
HOW II Is DOVE.

From The Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Great Explorer Friend las the latter Is about
TO sttrtb-Wc,l professor. you've arranged ior
your lectures and book when you come back
haven't you?
Great ENplJrc--Ycs. Also my Testimonials are
written FOR the canned goods. tho c.Othiug the
boats and the cooking utensils All have TO DO
now is TO get lost and be rescued. and my fortune
Is u3dei
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28

light In her hand she held a small lcather-cov-
cred box.
Here they are" she said. chccrfuy.
What" said the highwayman.
"My diamonds" said the lady. Il am an actress,
you know. and
The hghwayman ped upon his horse. ,
Madame" said he, removing his hat gracefully,
"you must excuse me | may be hShWayman.
but am not an advertisement"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
THERE He DREW THE LINE.
rom The Boston Budget.

From The Boston Budget.
Pardon me-" said the polite hghwayman, "but
| must ask you to stand and deliver
The coach stopped. The door opened with sur
prisng aacrity and a young woman with very
large hat stepped out into the middle of the NOON
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
As THEY All DO.

From The Indianapolis Journal.
"Of course the brides father gave her away but
didn't any one give away the groom
"Oh, the groom gave himself away. Asked hcr AT
and sugar In hcr coffee
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
TOO PERSONAL.

From The Chicago Record.
What a singular nose the new boarder, Miss
Perkins. has
Yes: she looks much like n parrot that l
didn't dare pass her the crackers.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
STRANGER THAN FICTION.

From The Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The city EDITORS fist came down upon his desk
With awful thud, and hc exclaimed:
AT last AT last IL has Gomez
"Wh-whats the troubie?" asked the frightened
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28

reporter, who had just handed in the account OF
the suicide
You have written your report Of this AFFAIR
without SAYING that the victim sent a bullet
crashing through his head"'
Then the city editor rushed to a window and
gasped for breath.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-28
TEACHING or SCIENCE.

From The Chicago Herald
Scientists say the ycow-fcver microbc gets
Into the system through the respiratory organs"
SIS that 50? Well. the people who escape 1t
too lazy to breathc?'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20

Rural life in certain sections of In
diana is simply iucomprehensiblo to
those " no have not seen it, and many
phases Of it are incomprehensible to
outsiders who have.
a farmer drove up to the village
general store, alishted from his buck
beard, hitcled his horse ard accosted
the proprietor by calling cut "Whut's
siraTt ii today, SAM
owe Dc ayin . cents for good ones,
fresh picked"
"C,aiau't make it 6, could ve?"
"Ncge Tho raius hov brought 'em
forward nightly, and the prices he'd to
tumble"
The farmer sat down on a salt barrel
in the shade in front Of the store and
waited. At the end Of half an hour he
came to TIE door and said:
"Maudy'll Le put ont about it. She
rccloued they'd be- about Z low"
"sorry. Jim, " replied the sIorekeep-
CT, "but I'm a-sel.in 'cm fer Z.
TIE farmer sauntorod down to the
blacksmith shop and pitched quoits for
an hour. Then be came back
"Srlit the difference, be said, "and
call ii 5ls
"Al right" was the reluctant re-
joinaor. Let it go at that. How many
you got"
Bout four quarts ard half" he
said, "and they're jest as slick berries
as yo ever eco yer teeth into. "-Chica-
60 Tiucs-Brr4ld.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20

The operation Of the feminine mind
sometimes-pelhaps always-passes un-
derstandiug.
An Evanston srins,er who presides
over fine residence in that classic SUBJ
urb sent for the hostler the other day
and gave him instructions to drown
litter of four half grown kittens which
had become somewhat troublesome.
Three Of the Kittens were easily cap
tured, but the fourth ran under the
barn, and the hostler in trying to dis
lodge it with pole uuiutentionally
broke one of the animals legs
Thereupon three Of the kittens were
given their quietus in the lake, but the
fourth was taken into the house and
tenderly cared fer with splints and
bandages.
But why not let me put this critter
out Of misery, Tsum, like the rest Of
emf" asked the feline oxeoutiouer
"Whatr exclaimed Miss Prim.
Drown a kitten in that condition.?
Never Well doctor her up a little, and
she'll be around again all right in
few days"
but what are you going to do with
her then, mum?" inquired the perplexed
hostler
well, after that" said the spinster
with sigh, II suppose you'll have to
drown her. "-Chicago Times Herald.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20
QUESTION OF DESCENT.
Theories of Huxley and Darwin Exploded
BY en- Amateur Seientist.


The amateur scientist had it all fig
ured ont to his satisfaction. He had de-
voted several hours to the subject and
felt be knew whereof he spoke.
Really" he said, "it's very SIM
pie. "
"What is?" asked all his admiring
friends
why, the question of the origin of
the human race, " answered tse amateur
scientist. If Huxley and Darwin and
the rest of those wise guys had only
given it a little serious thought, don t
see how they could have missed it,"
His admiring friends were just lit
tie taken aback. They had great conf
dence in his abilities, but the layman
who has considered Huxley and Darwin
more or less well posted on matters that
they discussed is rather shocked when
some new man in the field rudely pushes
them aside and undertakes to demon
strate that he alone knows it all
"You-you don't think we are de-
scended from monkeys, them" they in
quired doubtingly.
mot at all "
"And you don't believe in the ortho-
dox idea of our origin either"
"Oh, dear, moi" And the amateur
scientist laughed scorDfully.
Its a pretty serious matter to dis
pute all the various teachings" they
suggested.
"Not when you have conclusive evil
dence that you are right" returned the
young man calmly.
And You have that evidence"
Gentlemen, said the amateur in
his superior way, Il have that evi.
dence. may not be able to carry you
back to the creation of this world, but |
can at least show from what the civil
lization Of today has sprung can show
you whence have come the really pro
gressive nations Of this earth. "
They gathered round him and be-
seoched him to speak.
Explorers report" he said, THAT in
the interior of Africa there is little
uncivilized tribe of natives that are
actually made sick by wearing clothes.
On the ground Of health they are com
PEELED to lay them all aside. 1t is from
that little nation that we have descend
ed. "
"But your proof, " they demanded.
The amateur scientist looked at them
scornfully.
Come with me to fashionable sea-
shore resort, " he said. Chicago Post.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20
THE PRICE OF A HORSE.
An Incident Which illustrates an Eject
OF the Cycling Craze.

Speaking Ct bicycles, remarked the
drummer, 81 prccrme it is largely in
the raturo Of a chestnut to mention the
fact that The bicycle has done more to
render this tire ho.seless age than any
thing else that has happened to it, but
III say If and illuminato my statement
by am example which ]. ely came I'M
der my notice
Il was down in West Virginia town
not more than q week CT ten days ago,
and as / bad a jaunt Of ten miles to
make into the country to see a rural
customer Of mine / hired a horse at the
livery stable and proceeded thither on
horseback The livery man, being
friend Of mine, let me have his own
saddle horse, a really fine animal, and
| felt proud Of my mount as | rode out
of town. Arrived at my destination, |
soon transacted my business, and while
waiting for my customer, who was 60
ing to ride part Of the way back with
me, an old farmer came along and
hitched his horse rear the block where /
was sitting on mine all ready to ride
away lie took side glance at my nag,
and, with the usual freedom Of the
country, began looking my animal over.
'Whut's be wuth? he inquired
when bis investigation was completed.
"Oh, about SIS, said, thinking /
would surprise the old fellow and at
tie same time have some fun with him.
But be never showed a sign in his
face and merely walked around the
horse critically.
81 might give you sl5,' he said
with great indifference.
"'lf you do, said, hanging on, it
will have 70 be cash.
81 amt actin brash these hard
times, he explained, but mebbe we kin
do some,hin in the critter bizness. Trot
him up the road a piece an let's see
what be kin do
81 hadn't bargainod for this exactly,
but ] was in for it, and thought l
might as we'll see it to the finish, and |
rode away as he directed When | re-
turned, lie took another turn around the
horse, shaking his head as if not alto
gether satisfied with what no was likely
to get in the deal
els Is yer lowest fggerY be asked.
eyes, It's the best can do.
"'Ncll, DE said, with the greatest
delibnation, $50 is a good deal to-pay
fer icss these days, but ride him up
the road ag'in On run till boiler, an
when 1 hollor swing him round and
fetch him back ON a slow walk, an III
Git the money somehow. >
IL thought 1t was a fine joke and
started away On a dead run, expecting
to get the call 1T a turn in theroad some
800 yards away, but didn't and when
/ bad pass out Of sight and still no
call came / tumblcd to myself and went
right back 20 where had started from
in the morning. without saying word
to anybody. "-Washiugton Star.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20
The 'BIack Watch"

The regiment was in service against
Fort Ticonderoga (l757) The assault,
which was made on most imperfect in
formation Of the strength Of the fortif-
cations, was disastrous failure. The
"Black Watch" which could hardly be
called back from the attack, lost 647
men, Of whom nearly half (3l4) were
killed. The proportion of killed to the
total strength was not less than in 3.
At Waterloo, which was not an affair
Of rOsewatcr, it was | in II. The regi-
mout was not present at Quebec, but it
took part i'll the campaign of 1860. a
series Of successful and comparatively
inexpensive operations which resulted
in adding Canada 10 the empire. Its
second battalion had been serving mean-
while in the West Indies. To that re-
gion the whole regiment was again
transferred in 1861. selected. as was
stated in the dispatch from home. for
their sobriety and abstemious habits,
great activity and capability for bear
ing the extremes Of heat and cold. "
The campaign resulted in the conquest
Of the Windward islands and Of the
Havana.
From the West Indies the "Black
Watch" was sent back to New York and
bad three years Of campaigning against
the Indian tribes 1T last, after IL
years, what was left Of the regiment
it had lost go officers and men killed
and wounded-was sent home. The
survivors were not without the solace
of prize money, won in the conquest of
Havana. Each private had the mag
nidceut sum Of "a Is. sgd, while
Lord Albcmarle, who commanded, re-
ceiyed 4i22, 1861. Sic vos non yobis.-
Archibald Forbes.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20
The Louisa AIcott Club.

An interesting little club Of girls is
situated in the heart of Boston, Oswegc
street. 1t is named after that lover Of
girls, Louisa NJ Alcott. and is a club
for young Hebrew girls, started and
directed by Hebrew women. The older
girls of the club most of them, work
in shops. There are classes Of different
kinds for them as well as for the youn-
ger members, and concerts and talks ON
various subjects, and always the pretty.
coy rooms to give, with the work in
other directions, the most elevating
tendencies and the greatest help to the
young people, for whom the club was
organized.
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20
Keeping the House Free From Flies.

As flies are very fruitful conveyers Of
disease, Try very hard to keep them out
Of the house. Cover all windows and
doors with netting. If you cannot afford
frames, tack the netting over the win
dows outside This is very good way.
1t allows enc 10 lower the window from
the top as well as to lift it from the
bottom, making better ventilation. II
door frames are out Of the question,
tack netting very full to the top Of the
door casings. In the broad hem at the
bottom sew sufficient good sized pebbles
to give weight, that the netting may
fall quickly into place. If by chance the
children hold the doors oper for a mo-
ment, allowing flies to enter, place a
little sticky fly paper here and there,
or when you darken the room leave a
crack Of sunshine at any open window
or door. The flies will in n oment fol.
low the light and may then be easily
brushed out Of the room Ladies
Home Journal
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20
Wen Need No More Rattleships.

Provided the Holland submarine boat
obeys her owners command to dive and
reappear, as it seems likely she will,
there is no doubt that her advent will
produce change in naval warfare COM
parable to the exploits of the Monitor
With such craft approaching a battle
ship, diving as soon as she comes with.
in range and continuing either deeply
submerged or with only hand or so of
20 inch turret out of the water, there
will be nothing for that battleship to
do except either to run or to remain
and suffer the successive effects Of
score Of dynamite explosions.
If the Holland is successful in getting
directly beneath tie ship, she can sud
denly shove her deadly snout out of the
water, discharge her bow gun and then
quickly sink out Of sight AS to train
ing rifles on her, there is no perfection
of gunnery known that could give even
a forlorn chance Of hitting her, small
mark as she is. in the little time that
she will remain exposed. -Scribner'
Shenandoah herald. [volume] (Woodstock, Va.) 1865-1974, 1897-08-20

Mr. H. L. Myers, of 100 Mulberry street,
Newark, n. J., made the mistake Of re-
lying upon remedies based upon mineral
ingredients, and for the hundreds Of
dollars which he invested received only
disappointment in return. He says:
II was afflicted with terrible blood
disease, which was in spots at first, but
afterwards spread all over my body.
These soon broke out into sores, and it
is easy to imagine the suffering I ell
iured.
Before 1 became convinced that
the doctors could do no good I had
spent a hundred dollars, which was
really thrown away. l then tried yari-
Gus patent medicines, but they did not
reach the disease. When had finished
my first bottle Of S.S.S., was greatly
improved and was delighted with the
result. The large rel splotches on my
chest began to grow paler and smaller,
and before long disappeared entirely. I
regained my lost weight, became strong
er, and my appetite greatly improved.
was soon entirely we'll, and my skin as
clear as piece of glass.
SIS. is a sure cure for all manner
Of blood diseases, and disappointment
never results from its use. Il is