davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
FLASHES OF FUN.

'In all the groceries now you can buy self
rising -four"
lis there any place where we can get a self
rising cook?'-Chicago Record.
Hello, Jerry; got yoIr new fat all fitted
up?'
"Not quite Say do you know where I can
buy folding tooth Record.
"No," said the honest farmer; "I would not
we bought that there gold brick at all eff he
hadn't told me that l was gettin' 1T extra
cheap, as they wanted to dispose of all theiI
1897 models "-Indianapolis Journal
City Child-Do country towns where you &c
have theaters?
Actress-No. Country towns never have
theaters. They have only opera-nouses, acad-
emies OF music and temples of Thespis-New
York Weekly.
"Of course, couldn't hear what he was say
ing" remarked the friend who had been wait
ing in the lawyers reception-room, ''but
couldn't help being impressed with the in
tense earnestness of your callers voice."
'.No doubt no doubt-he wanted o loan."-
Chicago Journal.
care you a jar? ?" asked the transom.
eyes," answered the door, with some sharp
ness. "Why ?"
ooh" said the transom, 81 merely wan ted
to know If you intended to put your iamb
in it."
Not requiring key to this joke the door
knob chuckled hoarsely.-New York Press.
"The enemy" said the courier, sis approach
ing in force"
'Ts your information authentic ?' asked the
genera.
al have it from the highest authority" said
the courier. 1t was just telephoned down
from the balloon" Journal.
sis your son making any neadway in COL
lege."
Any headway? Ishould say he was You
ought to see him bucking the Chi
cago News.
Henry Peck-Here's q newspaper that asks
If American husbands are henpecked.
Mrs Peck-Wel sir, l would like to know
what sort OF an answer you would make.
Speak right out, sir, you needn't be afraid. I
am S ure l have always been meek and docile.
Well, why don't you speak?
Henry PecK-No; / should hate to think they
all are.-North American.
Papa-Alice, thought heard loud smack
in the hall last night
Aice-Yes, Mr.. Upsley made that noise with
his lips when told him you had made $50, 900
in a wheat deal-Cleveland Lender.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
MARSHAL BLANCC'S MANIFESTO.

CUBA has longer anything to hope nor indeed
| fear from Marshal Banco, who has now sue
ceeded Weyer s Captain General of the island. His
holds promise of recognition of
pendence country does offer local self
government character sufficiently incline any
considerable numb of Cubans accept them rather
continue the
If the manifesto accurately declares the determination of
commander and of the Liberal Ministry Spain the
in Cuba virtual the it Weyler
recalled AS nothing has been changed but the
likely change will policy of the ne
is virtually that of the old and unless he possesses
greater ability command conciate plan and to exc
cute the will drag along until foreign power inter
check it, until side the other drops arms
from sheer exhaustion.
In his address to the Spanish soldiers in Cuba Blanco
fo- independence infamous revolu
and says the This suppress soon
through heroic efforts and with the the
country, which will unhesitatingly to fight
victims of Authorizations who only what must
complete destruction In conclusion he saws to
the Let there be the stubborn
Spanish people, with protection for those who
ency Spain, and let this which dshonors u.s. and is
making penness settle these questions forever"
Whatever may the differences of opinion the main
of this proclamation there will dispute the
accuracy the phrase which describes which
dishonor Spain and making her pennles Neither
generals the of Spain have drawn
anything but dshono and the
of it have brought the nation to the of bankruptcy.
According statistics recently compiled by the London
Spectator the debt of Spain given the is
81 900 OO0 of that about has been
Cuban In the Span
debt there further debt of about $3.50
known in Spanish finance the Cuban debt it is
upon bonds issued against Cuban If the war
debt is added The socaed Cuban debt there will sum of
about 600 which Spain expects Cuba pay Spain
Cuba she must add that already
load of debt and the consequence be bank
ruptcy and possibly repudiation.
The existence OF these debts Spaniards to
hard control of Cuba and equally DO
effect in prompting the Cuban fight for
Cuba falls and that burden of debt upon her the
fate of her people will be of the deporabe sory
longer continues greater becomes the evil that
threatens both countries and yet point where
civilization will to interfere put end to 1t in the
name OF humanity
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
soUEAKED ONCE TOO OFTEN.
Snare Moments


Maccabe, the ventriloquist, was a great
practical joker. Several years ago he was on
board river steamboat, and having made
friends with the engineer was allowed the
freedom of the engine-room.
Presently certain part of the machinery
began to creak. The engineer oiled it and
went about his duties. In the course of fay,
minutes the creaking was heard again. and the
engineer rushed over, oIlcan in hand. 10 lubri-
cate the same crank.
Again he resumed his post. but it was only
few minutes before the same old crank was
creaking louder than ever
Great JupiterP' he yelled. ''The things
bewitched."
More oil was administered, but the engineer
began to smell rat Pretty soon the crank
squeakeo again, when, slipping DIP behind Ma
joker's back.
There" said he; II guess that crank won t
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
CORRECTED WAR STATISTICS,
Globe Democrat.

recent corrections in the statistics of the
union army in the Civil War swell the aggre-
gate OF recorded deaths to 360,2O7. The num-
per Killed outright in action was 81, ,05S and
42;58l died of wounds, but this total OF 109,-
659 was less than halt that OF the deaths from
disease which aggregated 250,56S. An army
prison. 1t seems there are more than two
cnance to one that the soldier who dies for
mis- country will be carried off by disease in
stead OF bullet. The figures show the
great strain of army life upon the vital pow
ers, ana also suggest that the sanitation and
medical supervision of troops should receive
the closest attention.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
ONE WAY TO LEARN SANSKRIr.

The learned Oxford professor, Max Muller,
once asked Vivekananda If Ramkrishna,
great Hindoo religious teacher. knew sans.
Krit. The answer at first was evasive, but
hnailiy Vivekananda said: When Ram
krlshna was in the jungle as an asceuc a
aad taught him the language" Nonsense ;"
was Muiler's reply, 1.-The only way to learn
sanskrit is to get grammar and dictionary
and go to work"
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

THE PosT-E., City. The first number OF the
! Evening Post of San Francisco was issued De-
Gem Der f. 1871.
| RopEo-G. E., City. Rodeo is small place
| in Contra Costa County facing San Pablo Bay,
| distant by ferry and rail twenty,seven mlIes
| from the San Francisco ferry landing. party
| of ca pitafsts some. years ago DuI4t dDat'oliS
| there for the slaughter OF cattle.
AMER1cAN-J. D. B., City. American is sp-
plied 10 a native or inhabitant OF the Western
Hemisphcre, or, specifically, of North Amer
ica In the more restricted sense 1t IS applleu
| to citizen of the United States. Unoer tne
broad application of the word 1t woulu not DC
improper to say that q person Dolu III N@Aou@
is an American
FACE AT THE WINDow-E., City. 1t was on
the Sth OF December, 1871, tnat the outlines
of mans face were observed on pane OF
glass n the window of q house, 2ll9 Mason
street, San Francisco. 1t attracted great @ ueni
of al attention at the time, but no one ever saxo
a satisfactory explanation OF how the plctu!e'
which had the appearance OF snoke plc-
ture was made to appear on a sheet OF pla4n
glass.
IsTEREsr-B.. Alameda, Cal. The law of this
State says: Parties may agree IN writing iol
the payment OF any rate OF interest," auu ~
shall be allowed according to the terms OF the
agreement until the entry of judgment. The
arties nav in any contract III writing
whereby any DEBT is secured to De palo, agree
that if the interest OF Sucn ueDt Is noC PuuCtu-
ally paid il shall become a part OF the prlncl-
pal and thereafter bear the same rate OF Inter
est the principal debt.
RELATIVE RANKS. W., City. The relative
rank between the officers OF the army and
navy OF the United States is as iolIoWs'
Army. Navy.
General. Admiral.
Lieute nant-general. Vice-admiral. -
Major-general. Rear-admiral.
Brigadier-general. Commodore.
Colonel Captain.
Lieutenant-coIonel. Commander.
Major Lieutenant-c nt-commander,N -
Captain Lieutenant, senior grad&
First lieutenant. Lieutenant, junior graoef&
Second lieutenant. Ensign. -
TALc-T. D., China Flat, Cal Tale is mag
nesian silicate unctuous to the touch,
of shining luster, translucent and some
times transparent when in very thin
plates. The principal varieties are toll'
ated, massive dncluding soapstone or
steatite) and indurated. The prevailing coiors
are white, apple green and yellow. Indurated
taic is used in place of chalk 10 trace lines on
wood and cloth; tale is used as a luorlcator
and when finely ground and used IN paper
pulp it imparts gloss to the paper. Tale
powder is also used for polishing aIabaster,
serpentine and the like The Chinese call IT
figure stone and use to it make idols OF.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
PEOPLE TALKED ABOUT.

Miss de Ia Rance, known to fame as "Ouida," "
is eccentric in dress. She favors light colors,
quite out OF h rmony with her age and ap-
pearance generally. Her face is not innocent
of powder, and her hair is arranged in curly
mass with ribbon on it,
The number of pilgrims to Burns BIRTH
place last year was $4,000. During the same
period 10000 persons visited Shakespeare
house at Stratford-o Avon, and HOS paid a
tribute to the memory OF Thomas Carlyle by
going to see his old home at Ecclefechan.
President Alfred Coolidge of the Second
National Bank of Colfax. Wash, has raised an
immense quantity of wheat this season and
sold it at rate equaling $34 20 an acre,
while the land itself could not heve been sold
a any time these past three years at $40 an
acre.
Colonel Isaac Avery Wheeler, who died In
Atlanta, Ga, a few days ago, was for a long
time edltor-in-chief of the Atlanta Constitu-
ton. Although devout Methodist and of
peaceful disposition, he had fought four duels
with men who had cast aspersions on his
motives.
Professor Charles Edward Colby of Columbia
University, one of the worlds leading scholars
in chemistry, died in New York few days
ago, aged AZ years. In 1889 the chair OF
organic chemistry was created at Columb bia in
order that he might fill it. He had a European
reputation, and was member of the national
chemical societies of France and Germany.
Miss Mary Ann Crother of Philadelphia, who
recently celebrated her 104th birthday, claims
to be the oldest old maid in the world Not
withstanding her great age, she is active and
vigorous, doing some of the light work in the
house every day. She goes upstairs without
help, and up 10 nine years ago, she walked
regularly every Sunday to church, distance
of one mile.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03


Italian Turkish and Russian
The bronze and is the work tho eminent artist Ieno
hand At the sides the pedestal placed two statues
mboing the ump return from Italy Francois Certain CanroOer the
military school into the and earned and received rapid wilhelm
Crmea and 1854 succeeded Marshal ST. the
Alma which finally caused him resign the Marshal Peer in 1855
ma
of soIino IN Italy 1859 In the he
Forbach
Fenchpe
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
A BODIE OBITUARY.
Bodie Niiner.Index.

Milt Aldridge, the old-time Bodie sport,
"passed in his checks" a short time ago on
board alStockton lrain, while on his way 10
Paso Robles Hot Springs. He has pulled his
lasrcard and won shu fife the pasteboards any
more in this portion OF the universe, but If
there is any kind of q game where he is gone
he will surely take a hand. "Mil was wit
and a humOrist and many pers ons here will
the jokes that gurgled out Of him
like molasses out of jug.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

oh. the musing poet MARBLES =:
OF the frost that's on :he vine
And the labors of the huskers
In a style that's very fine;
But you bet he couldn't do 1t
If he'd ever husked an ear, ~.
For about th at much of farming
Makes the romance disappear. '-+-
Chicago News :
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
RS. winslow's Soothing Syrup"

-'1I . " . R1OU0IIHIIB syrup
Has been used over fifty years by millions of moth
ers for their children while Teething with perfect
success 1t soothes the child. softens the gums al
lays Pain, cures Wind Collie, regulates the Bowes
and is the best remedy for Diarrhoeas, whether
arising from teething or other causes For sale by
Druggists in every part of the world. Be sure and
ask ior Mrs W Winslow's Soothing Syrup. 25cabotue
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Professor Wilhelm Wattenbach, historian
and photographer, died recently at Frankfort,
aged rs years. He was employed all his life
on the "Monumenta Germanie Historica'
and wrote the authoritative book on the
sources of German history
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

CoRoNADo.-Atmo osphere Is perfectly dry soc;
and mild being entirely free from the msts COM
mon further north Round trip tickets by steam
ship, Including fifteen days board at the Hotel lsl
Coronado $50; longer stay 81 SO per day Apply
New Montgomery street. San Francisco, A.
w. Bailey, manager Hotel del Coronado, late OF
Hotel Colorado, Glenwood Springs Colorado.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

NEW frames, new holdings, new lamps, new
tables, new leather goods, new pictures and
new stationery. Everybody cordially invited
to the new things. Sanborn, Vail d Co.
741 Marke street.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Miss Helen V. Boswell the organizer and
head OF the Woman's Republican movement
In New York, is a mining engineer and ranks
high as mining craftsman.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

SPECIAL info rma ton daily to manufacturers
business houses and public men by the Press
Clipping Bureau (Allen's), $40 Montgomery.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Not long rash man tackled young lady at Pacific
Grove with in tent to purse later he
fed bullets from her pistol singing about his Now San
Jose miss acoosted rudely by fellow who bee
introduced her. hits straight from the and knocks
him After while the foopad and will learn
better try their California girls
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Oakland girls continue do what they pleased to call
seek fame the stage regardless of the
is little article be found there and that much
already been gobbed by people having no
cia claim TO it.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Political prophets are having unusually busy season.
particularly in New York Their guesse all
Indeed suspicion arises that prophets
the business poorly equipped with information The
satisfaction to be derived from scanning figures
knowledge they that body who
good prophet any body else.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

England to be the pro poets of
between the United States and span than Uncle Sam
thought of being.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Yellow journalism does salary of the President
and his Cabinet does rot specify the which the
shall rise each morning movements of the
tides This Information free yellow
journalist who has beeh msed by long his
own greatness into thinking this greatness rea
enhen the innocent abroad may think that
take these strange and noisy freaks seriously.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

We indebted the of Nero
his Justly celebrated reprehensibe ddling
the fire when he been helping haul
the hook-andadder truck. However surprise
that the gentleman the spirit of melody by
upto the p-esentdate VIOLIN the having
vented for Nero had left the
another fire. While he reaching ahead after
modern effects it is wonder that did get something
fiddle above the
of flame. What Nero really a trombone
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

RopEo-G. E., City. Rodeo is a small place
in Contra Costa County facing San Pablo Bay,
distant by ferry and rail twenty seven miles
from the San Francisco ferry landing party
of Gu pitaiists some years ago built aoattoirs
there for the slaughter OF CATTLE
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03
ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS.

THE Posr-E., City. The first numbe OF the
Evening Post of San Francisco was issued De-
Gem Der 4, 1871.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

That habit of starving horses death
have broken out again. There should be simple
OF checking it. How would the plan only passing
changer To be this would radical but
turing OF horses nice practice and
animal something.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

CALIFORNIA glace fruits, SOC lb. Townsends..
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Budds action pardoning sternberg will have the entire
approval OF Mahoney But there any conscience in tn
bosom OF the will protest that ever
the smile OF Mahoney will mean ha ppness unaIoyed
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Justice has been having lively time at Auras When
the District Attorney open knife stabs
from an exudge be readily understood the
tribunal where Justice supposed work.
for
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

Banco is not TO be blamed for breathing
He could not well be thing else despite
the fact shat Spain still clings pleasing theory
island.
The San Francisco call., 1897-11-03

'In all the groceries now you can buy SELF
rising -four"
p lis there any place where we can get SELF
rising cook?"-Chicago Record.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Growing potatoe. w,,nou. y,n...

Robert Cornwell, Barton county
(Mo. farmer, living near Golden City,
after numerous experiments, thinks no
has succeeded In developing a potato
that will grow without vines. He says
his potatoes grow entirely under ground
out Of tho reach Of potato hugs, which
cost so much to destroy each season,
not TO mention the damage they do. He
also says field planted with tho vine
less potato may be worked with the
ordinary harrow. New York Timea
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Rare Good Luck.

Fond Mamma-Why, what have you
in your apron?
Little Daughter (breathlessly)-Oh,
mamma! Such good luck! Dotty
Dimple's cat had six kittens, and her
mamma would not let her keep but
one, SO she gave me the other five.-N.
Y. Weekly.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
EYerYhosiy SnYa SO.

Cascnrets Candy Cathartic, the most won.
derful medical discovery OF the age, pleas
ant and refreshing TO the taslc, act gently
ana positively on Kidneys, liver aud bowels,
cleansing tho entire system, dispcl colds,
cure headache, fever, habitual constipation
ard blliousncss Please buy and try box
OF &. g. q. to-day; 10, 25, 80 cents. Sold and
guaranteed To cure by NIL druggists.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Cereal Coffee Drinkers BEWARE

If you have been deceived and tried one of
the cheap bran substitutes now ON the mar
ket, claiming tn be the original and To have
great food value, and you got pound of
poorly roasted bran for your BIC and poor,
weak, sickish drink (whnt can you expect
from bran). don't be discouraged but try
GRAIN.O. IL Is made from solid grain, nice
ly Drowned and pounds for Doc. Grain.O
takes the place of coffee nj = the price. Get
n pncknge of your grocer todnY.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Moderation Desirable.

"Young man." said Senator Sorghum,
"be sure TO lay by something for a
rainy day."
: II intend TO save something every
year."
; That's right. Only, II you ever get
to be United States senator, don't boast
of laying by too much, all in the same
year; as it may create COMMENT
Washington Star.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Unkind Presumption

"One of my best customers had a
fit last week." said Kassimere, the
tailor, "and it nearly finished him."
Had fit, did hep" replied Cawker.
"He must have patronized some other
tailor. r."-Louisville Courier-J ournal.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
II Worked.

Mrs. Longwed (yearning)-O, dear!
I wonder if angels ever get sleepy?
Mr.. Longwed-You never did when I
was courting you, darling,
Then the old rascal kissed his wife
and went to the club, without strug-
gle.-Up-to-Date.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Merely an Accident.

miss Shamly, you assured me you
would say nothing about that matter.
Why have you broken your word?"
1T was accidental. dropped it with
a lot of other gossip."-Detroit Free
Press.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Naturally Enough.

Maud-Have you heard about iti
Fan Billwink is engaged to young
Grayte-Snapp, the son of the wealthy
glue manufacturer!
Irene-I notice she seems n good deal
stuck up lately.-Chicago Tribune.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
One Method OF Reasoning.

"That speaker seems to be very popu-
lar with the audience"
, II have my doubts" replied the con-
trary man; II noticed they applauded
him great deal more for getting
through with his speech than they did
for commencing it."-Washington
Star.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
More Likely.

Wife-How people gaze at my new
dress. presume they wonder il I've
been shopping in Paris.
Husband-Afore likely they wonder
IL I've been robbing bank.-HtBits
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Roses Under Other Names.

Roses Under Other Names.
Childe Harold-Father, what is the
difference between jackpots and lob
ster pots?
Parent-There is no difference, my
son; they are both used to catch the
same article.-N. Y. World.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Mystic Beautifying Complexion Pills

Render the skin soft, smooth, transparent
and rosy. They cure Pimplcs. Boils, Black.
heads, Roughness, Rcdness AMI unsightly
cruptions which so disdgure the face. They
bleach out Bile Stains, Liver spots, Blotches
and Cloudincss OF the skin. They transform
rough, scaly, sallow complexion into one
OF beauty AMI attractlvcness. They are
harmless M milk. Sold by w. l.. Wood,
druggist, 2sJ Main ST., Pnwtucket.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Willing to Help.

She-Fathcr says we shall have to
economize at our wedding.
He-Well. well be married in the
daytime and save the gas.-Yonkers
Statesman
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Tho Necessary Size.

Col. Kaintuck-I want hip pockets in
those trousers.
Tailor-Yes. sir. Large or small?
Col. Kaintuck-Half-pint size.-N. Y.
Advertiser.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
Financial AcumeI

can allowance is something like a
bicycle"
'How SOP"
"a man can put his wife on it, but he
can't make her stay on it."-Chicago
Record.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31
The Art Preventative.

May I print kiss on your cheekr
asked,
She nodded her sweet permission;
So we went to press and rather guess
1 printed a large edition.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31

The vigorof youth given TO the aged and
infirm by using Hop Bittcrs Sec advertise
ments
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31

The De Goncourt will case is to be
decided this week at Paris. The claims
Of the nearest relatives Of the testator
are founded upon the fact that be-
quest to nonexistent foundation like
the De Goncourt academy is null and
void. But even if this pretension is adj
mitted, it is unlikely that they will de-
rive any benefit therefrom, as there is a
clause which sets forth that il this dis
position of the property bo set aside by
the courts the fortune is to go to a char
table institution for young girls afflict-
ed with incurable maladies, founded by
DE Goncourt's old friend, tho Princess
Mathilde Bonaparte, cousin of Napoleon
III.-New York Tribune.
The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-07-31

That time and distance are INSULT.
cient to obliterate sentiments Of sffec-
tion and regard for the mother country
has just been shown by the fact that q
number of families Of Spanish descent
in Rio de la Plata have recently sub
scribed sum of $500, 900 for the pur-
pose of presenting small cruiser to the
government of Spain.