davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
PITH AND POINT.

"Stark is bicycle crank, isn't he?"
.'I should say he was. When it rains
he stays home md runs his cyclo-
meter Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The difference between the astrono-
mer and the chorus girl is that one
studies the stars and the other under
studies them.-Philadelphia Record.
First Bicycle Girl-"Oh, yes; I
often fall of, but I always land on my
feet" Second Ditto-"I think you
said you were from Chicago. Boston
Transcript.
"These lake excursions seem SO lone
some. ''Lonesome2 Why, I am
with you" eyes, I know, but I
couldn't bring my wheel along. g."-Chi-
caso Record
Fuddy-'I understand that Wigley
spends most of his evenings here at
your house?". Duddy-"I had an i'm
preston that it was my evenings that
he spends here. Boston Transcript.
There's the bicycle face and the bicycle
back,
With its queer, altitudinous curve;
And the bicycle tongue, in the middle hung,
And the scorcher's bicycle nerve.
Queensland Wheel.
Watts Getting O little rest out
your way since the piano girl took to
the wheel, aren't you?" Potts--''Naw.
Her bicycle suit is louder than than
the piano was. indianapolis Jour-
nal.
"What made you quit the club,
Billy?" Reason enough, I can tell
you. worked five years to be elected
Treasurer and then they insisted on
putting in o cash register. Detroit
Free Press.
Barrow-''That's a dandy wheel
you have there, old man. I'll take
little spin on it some day. By the way,
what kind of wheel do you think [
ought to ride?" Marrow-"One of
your own. Brooklyn Life.
'I told her T was afraid to kiss her
while we were on the tandem for fear
we would both fall off," "What did
she essy?" "She said she hoped I
didn't call myself an experienced
wheelman. Chicago Record.
Gent (solicitously)-"Sir, T have
here some indestructible pieplates. :"
Mr., Hall Bedroome (grimly)-'Well,
you have come to the right house to
sell them. That's the sort of pies
Mrs. Skinner gives US. ~ Puck.
Mrs. sEastlake-"You visited Venice
while you were in Europe, I hear,
Mrs. Trotter?" Mrs. Trotter-'Yes,
indeed, and we were rowed about by
one of the chandeliers for which thai
oityis noted" "-Harper's Bazaar.
: Fuday-"T They say you have o lik-
ing i5r Miss Spontel." Duddy-
"Nonsensel The woman is insuppor-
table" Fuddy-''That's just it. You
won't have to support her. She's got
enough for two. Boston Transcript.
Gobang-'T think I'll do quite q
little shooting this summer. I wonder
what the close season is2" Buckshot
-ssWell, in your case, old man, I
fancy if you applied to the legislature,
they'd throw the whole year open to
you" Truth.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
CAKE AND POETRY.

What art thou, Life? A fleeing day Of
change,
A trembling dawn on wide-reaching,
restless sea?
A feryid noon-Eye's shadow, dim and
strange?
(Oh, that reminds me. must bake some
{ cake for tea.)
Thysmorn is beautiful, oh LifeI q ought
To glance into the cookbook, 80 to make
quite sure.
"Three eggs-a cup of cream" just as T
thought.)
With all its dreams, so high, so true, so
purel
Grand is thy full, sweet noontide, (tsift tho
flour
And stir 1t in" I'm glad the ovens hot
and nice.)
When lofty purpose arms the soul with
= power.
("Raisins and currants, one cup each,
with spice."O
Night, and the days fulallmentl Oh, how
*. fair,
How wondrous is this mystery! ('"Then
add about
A teaspoonful OF lemon 1avoring"-therel
Now, while it bakes, I'll write my poem
out.)-
Madeline s. Bridges, in Ladies Home Jour-
nal
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Six Costly Things.

The biggest price for painting was
that paid for Meissonier's "1S14. :"
NJ. Chanchard gave $4,000 for it.
The most costly Dnilaing Of modern
times is that of the New York state
capitol at Albany. Nineteen million
six hundred thousand dollars have
been spent on it. In 1892 I. Malcolm
Forbes paid $4,000 to Senator Stan
ford for the horse Arion, making it
the most valuable equine the world
has ever known. The most valuable
book in the world is Hebrew Bible
now in the vatican. In 1912 Pope
julius II refused to sell it for its
weight in gold, which would amount
to about 100000. The Imperial"
diamond is considered The finest stone
of its kind in the world. The Nizam
of Hyderabad offered 50, 1900 the
largest price ever known, for this dia-
mond. The costliest meal ever. served
was supper given by Eelius Verus to
o dozen guests. It is said to have
cost S242, 500.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Washins Il Fine Art.

Ever since spinning was 4 type OF womanly
industry, from age 10 age 1t has been eS
pected that beautiful apparel should clothe
women. To keep dainty belongings in good
order It is necessary 10 have them properly
laundered. This is especially true iii the
laundering OF pretty summon gowns, which is
now quito fine art. To do the work properly,
I'LL a tub two-thirds full of warm water, dissolve
the fourth of cake Of Ivory Soap (Which will
not fade the most delicate colors.l add It to tho
water; wash the articles through IL, rinse first
in clear and then in blue water; wiring, dip In
thin starch, shake out and hang Oh the line In
tho shade. When dry, sprinkle and iron.
Gowns thus laundered will retain their fresh
ness the entire season. ELIZA r. PARKER.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
One WAY To Find Cut.

They were sitting on the sands side
by side, looking out over the ocean.
"How peaceful it looks!" said he
eyes," said she, "but how very
wet!"
"True," he observed, "and yet how
calm and restful it appears. With you
by my side could sail on forever"
''Yes?" SIZE queried
eyes," he affirmed, "forever. Will
you, dearest?"
Son one condition." she replied
''I am a cautious girl, and I do moi
wish to be over hasty. But will lei
you make the test, and when the test
is made and you say it is successful, ]
will go with you"
"And that test, love-" he cried.
"You take O boat and sail on for.
ever, and after you have sailed on for
ever, tell me how it works." che
answered.
And she left him meditating. -Har'
per!s BaZar.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Perils Of Orchid Hunting.

English florists and flower lovers are
in a great state of mind over on orchid
recently exhibited by Sander, the St.
Albans grower. Its scientific name is
the Cattleya Reineckiana, which to
the initiative mind, says the New York
Times, is not very promising, but the
flower itself is described as a vision of
beauty and delight. The wings of its
seagull-like blossom arewhite as snow,
while the body portion is of gold and
vermilion, eight inches across. It is
the largest and most beautiful Cattleya
ever known to the civilized world, and
it would take 1000 guineas to buy it.
Arnold, the famous orchid collector,
sent it to England just before he lost
his life while hunting for further sim.
liar treasures. Arnold was the man
who, while travelling in Venezuela,
made the acquaintance of @ young
fellow who appeared to be rowing for
pleasure. Arnold travelled with him
for some distance, but few chance
words in wayside inn made Arnold
aware that the supposed pleasure seek
Ell was really another orchid collector
bent on the same errand as himself,
and using every means to supplant him.
At once Arnold drew his revolver, and
there and then gave his acquaintance
the option of either fighting duel
with him or retiring from the field.
The latter course was chosen. Ar
nold's death soon afterward, under cir
cumstances which have never yet been
cleared up, is by no means solitary
example of the perils of orchid hunt
ing, and though in the more civilized
districts the work is comparatively
easy, there are still countries in which
an orchid seeker may be said to carry
his life in his hands.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
But He Wasn't,

One rainy day. tho late Stubby
Childs was on his way to the corner at
which he and his friend always met,
when he encountered young student
whose face he recognized dimly, hay
ing seen it every day for some weeks
in his morning class.
"Eave you seen my friend?" he
asked.
Eyes sir" replied the student,
pausing respectfully in the midst Of o
mud-puddle to remove bis cap; she is
Mt the corner waiting for you"
"Good," replied the professor,
looking over his spectacles. "I thank
you; you may be seatedr'-Harvard
Lampoon.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
His Identification.

Coming home from the American
Mothers meeting I saw such lovely
child playing in the street in front OF
our house. Such dear little boy! ]
quite wanted to kiss him. I wonder
whose child he is.
"Did he have yellow hair?" asked
her husband.
eyes"
"And blue eyes?"
Beautiful blue eyes"
''And an old shirt waist?"
ooh, q horrid shirt waist!''
"Ihen L know whose child he is. ~
"Well?"
Giles ours. Boston Budget.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Darby Reading of an old Text

"Uncle Ben," said Miss B., '.from
what portion of the Bible do you de-
rive so much comfort? t?" Laying his
index finger in the palm of his hand,
the old fellow proceeded as follows:
.sWell, de Bible says, Dem dat de
Lord lcveth He chasesl' An from de
way He is bin chasin' O. me dis year, I
know mus be one 'er His favorites. ("
Augusta Chronicle.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
A Rabbit Club.

Tho people of Wolf Valley, Texas,
have organized rabbit club. The
club pays one cent for each cottontail
scalp, and two and one-half cents for
each jack rabbit. The organization of
this club is necessity. Rabbits have
ruined all fruit trees this winter which
were not protected by oak bushes. If
something is not done to destroy these
posts the farmers will suffer great loss.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
His Connection.

Bannister, the comedian, was pre-
sented to proud old Scotch dame.
"Who are the Bannisters?" she asked
peevishly. 81 do not recollect meet
ing with them before" Madame" "
replied the actor, gravely, "we are
closely connected with the Stairs.
"Ah! there is good and ancient fam
ilyr' cried madame. 'EMr. Bannister,
I am delighted to make your acquaint-
nce."-Household Words.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
About Gables,

Cables have their adversities even
on the bottom of the Atlantic. Ics-
bergs passing over sometimes cut
them in two. Volcanic eruptions
sometimes injure them. A few years
ago three Atlantic cables went down
at the same time and in about the
same spot. No other explanation has
been found but volcanic disturbance.
Near shore the risks multiply. One
of the commonest is the anchors of
fishing smacks, n whole fleet some
times riding on cable at once. The
rocks and breakers near the coast are
also dangerous.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
No SuperStitiOn.

'I can't give you anything!" snapp-
cd the lady to the tramp. you're the
thirteenth tramp that has called here
today"
"Well, num-" said the tramp, after
little consideration, ''you look a
clever, sensible lady that don't believe
in any nonsense; and iist to show that
there amt any truth in that silly
superstition about thirteen bein' an
unluc.ly number, I 'ope you will give
me trihe. mum. "-Tit-Bits.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
An Elephant and a Baby.

At the circus parade in Middletown
recently small child on Broad street
got away from its mother and toddled
out in the street to see Jumbo. Before
anyone could realize what the child
was up to, it was directly in front of
the herd of elephants. Everyone ex-
pected to see the little one crushed to
death, but the leader of the herd care
fully picked 5he little one up with his
trunk and swung her out Of all dan
ger.-Hartford Courant.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
! GOOD ROADS NOTES.
Synonymous Terms

We clip from Dun's Review the fol-
lowing:
"St. Louis-Business has improved
in all lines this week two to fifteen
per cent. Groceries are in the back
ground, but promise Improvement
soon with better roads"
Memphis-Since the waters receded
and country roads have improved,
trade and collections have been
better"
Moral-Good roads and good bust
ness are synonymous terms.--L. A.
W. Bulletin.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Personal Piety and Hot weather.

Hot weather brings no excuse for
neglecting family or private devotions,
and not until its effects actually dis
qualify one for exertion is it reason
for remaining away from the house of
God. The truly devout will say: eff
am ever needed it is today. Chris
tian Advocate.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Lost in the Shuttle,

Glow are your geological studies
progressing, Miss Climely?'
every nicely, indeed. I found a
lovely piece of rock quartz to-day up
on the hill back of the hotel. But,
unfortunately, I laid it upon my soap
dish when I went up to dress, and now
can't tell which is the soap. Life.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
PRESIDENTS Mansion Not whitewnshed.

Colonel T. A. Bingham, superinten-
dent of Public Buildings and Grounds
at Washington, in answer to IN Agri-
culturist subscribers inquiry as to
how the whitewash was made that was
used on the White House years ago,
says that not within the recollection of
the Office has the exterior of the Execu-
tive Mansion been whitewashed.
White lead and linseed oil is used
when painting the mausion.-Ameri'
can Agriculturist. .-------.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Got ncr n1oney,s worth.

Some time ago our local operator
took % telegram which read: ~;
Miss Maude, will you be mine?"
1t was delivered to the proper party,
aud soon she came tripping into the
Office to wire her reply. thread:
eyes. Ies. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes.
Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes"
Ten words, you see, and she paid
her quarter, and then tripped out Of
the room with the sweetest kind of a
blush.-Evansville Courier.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Arnuse to Action

A dormant liver, or you will suffer all tho tor
lures incident to a prolonged bilious attack
Constipation, headaches. dyspepsia, furred
tongue, sour breath, pain In the right side, vii
admonish you of neglect Discipline the recall
citrant organ at once with Hostetter's Stomach
Bitters, and expect prompt relief Malaria
rheumatism, kidney complaint nervousness
and debility are thoroughly removed by the
Rittere
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
More Carclessness.

Excited Wife-"Oh, Professor, the
cook has fallen md broken her collar
bone!"
Professor -"Discharge her at once!
You told her what to expect if she
broke anything more. Detroit Free
Press
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
A Learned Opinion.

son-"Pa, what is q whisky
straight?"
Father (who knows whereof)-'Er
well, my boy, o large swelled head;
an erroneous impression Of great and
sudden wealth; disposition to fight a
man twice your size; an aptness for
making the world appear lop-sided
and to be revolving rapidly; any one
of them may be properly called n
whisky's trait. Harlem Life. =.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Can't Be Dune,

Archie-'I always think evening
dress must be so trying to lady of
humor."
Bertie-"Wby?"
Archie-"Because she can't laugh in
her sleeve. Pick -Me-Up.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
He stoopcd to CONQUER.

Mrs. Fussanfeather-"I understand
that Mr.. Tallman kissed you on the
stoop last night.
Miss Fussanfeather-"Why, yes,
mamma; he's so tall, he had to-
Yonkers Statesman.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Distinction.

s'I wish to see some collars"
Yes, ma'am. Ah-ladies' or gen.
tlemen's?"
"Gentlemen's, sir. For ladies'
use" Chicago Tribune.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
breaking It to Him

Husband-"Do you need anything
for the house?"
Wife-"The cook says there is not
enough china to last the week out. -
-Tife
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
The Reason.

"I'm writing to Belle
Because you have something spe-
cial to say?" ~
''No; because I have nothing spe-
cial to do. Puck.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Nothing Better.

"Tell me, doctor, what do you con-
slider an ideal case?"
ga healthy man with an incurable
disease"
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

Rev. H. p Carson, Scotland, Oak, says:
1.-TWO bottles OF Halls Catarrh Cure completely
cured my little girl" Sold By Druggists, f6c.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Sauce For Geese and Ganders.

"Won't it be delightful when we all
have flying machines!"
"I don't know about that; of course
our creditors will have them, too. "
Chicago Record.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
Good Roads and Broad TIres,s

The movement in favor of good roads
which has at last really begun to agi-
tate rural communities NIL over the
country involves many contributory
issues of considerable Importance. For
instance, associations which have un.
dertaken the task of improving the
country roads are generally advising
farmers to make use of broad tires
upon their wagon-wheels, instead of
the narrow tires which cut and rut q
soft road SO deeply.
It is not easy to induce the farmers
to follow this advice, because it inn
plies and requires at the outset the re:
pairing of the road. Broad-tired
wagons could make little or no progress
over some of the muddy and rough
roads which are too often found not
far from the busiest and most thriving
cities. Narrow wheels cut their way
through more easily, but only at the
cost of exhausting the horses which
draw the wagon, and of still further
injuring the road as q thoroughfare.
If the highway could but be i'm
proved sufficiently to bear the heavy
tires, the wheels would act like minia-
ture road-roller. and assist in keeping
the road in good condition instead of
tearing it to pieces.
AS an immediate result, access to
markets would be made much more
easy, draught animals would gain in
efficiency and length Of service, and it
would be possible to transport larger
loads with greater ease and conyeni=
ence than is the case at present.
The farmers and the rural conimu-
mites which they control hesitate to
take the first step because Of the inn
mediate expense involved. It ought
mot to be hard to convince 80 intelli-
gent d portion of the community that
real economy, both oflabor and money,
would be gained by improved road
beds and the use Of broader tires
The Youths Companion.
Avoca, To-, is making some exten siye
road improvements.
A Road Improvement Association
has been organized at Lima, O.
The Legislature of Massachusetts
has appropriated 100000 to be used
In road building in various parts of the
State.
Goodroads throughout this Common
wealth are absolutely necessary. I am
sor the Good Roads bill and all that it
means, and will be until it becomes a
law.-Representatiye Ebenezer Adams,
Of Pennsylvania.
Bad roads caused the death of E. E.
Brown, at Deposit, N. Y, recently.
Mr.. Brown was driviny heavy wagon
through the streets of that town when
the wagon caught in rut throwing
him to the ground, and the wheel
passed over his head, injuring him so
severely that he died in a few hours.
Convict labor in road building is be-
ing employed in Duval County, Flor
ida, and in North Carolina. In the
latter case twenty-one and half cents
per day per head is said to cover the
cost of food, clothes, medical atten.
dance and guards, compared with
twenty-eight cents per day for main
tanning the same prisoners in Jail.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

We think Piso's Cure for Consumption is the
only medicine for Coughs.-JRNN1E P1NcKARD
Springfield, Ills, Oct. /, 1894.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
OUR BUDGET OF HUMOR.
LAUcHTER.PRovoKlNc STORIES FOR
LOVERS OF FUN.

The Difference--The Deed of fDeeds-Noth-
ing Better-The Observation-Disclosures
Breaking It to Him-Can't Be Done
She STOPPED to Conquer, ETC., Etc.
The Senior finds q most surprising change,
When for the world he leaves his college
hail.
In college he had always too much work,
But now ho sees he can't find work at NIL:
-Yale Record.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

Fits permanently cured. No fits or nervous
ness after first days use Of DR.. Kltns's Great
Nerve Restorer So trial bottle and treatise free.
Dr. II. II. KLINE, Ltd. 81 Arch st., Phila., Pa.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
NERVOUS PROSTRATION.
a New Jersey Woman Expresses
Her Gratitude to Mrs. Pink
ham for Relief.

"Will you kindly allow me-" writes
Miss Mary E. Saidt to Mrs. Pinkham,
"the pleasure of expressing my graft
tude for the wonderful relief l have
experienced by taking your Compound?
I suffered for long time with nervous
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

The cholera morbus win never submit to or
bItratton
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

If faflIcted with sore eyes use DR.. Isaac Thomp
sons Eye-water Druggists sell at 25c. per bottle
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25
What Is Tette-ine?

It is fragrant, unctuous ointment OF greae
cooling and healing power. Itis good for letter.
Ringworm, Eczema and all roughness Of the sHn.
1t stops pnin and itching atonce and II properly
used viii positively cure tho worst OF chronic
cases. 30 cents at drug store or BY mall for oo
cents in stamps. j. Shuptrtne, SaTannan,G ga
Some politicians should adopt the eel as thet7
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

The London people are computed
to spend Sc, 900, 900 daily.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1897-08-25

Mrs. winslow's Soothing syrup for Children
teething, softens the gums reduces lnhamMs- ,1a
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1897-12-11

Consul o'Hara has sent to the state
department a copy of the law of Mica
ragua absolutely prohibiting the inn
migration of Chinese,
The report that the Russian govern
mentis buying large quantities of army
supplies in the United States has been
verified.
The Italian cabinet resigned and Mar
quis di Rudini, the present prime min
lister, will form new one, from which
he will exclude all conservatives.
Enormous damage was done by n
storm which swept over Italy. Seven
teen vessels were wrecked in the bay of
Naples and their crews were lost.
At Jarucco, Cuba, 110 houses were
destroyed by fire and hundreds of fami-
lies were homeless and destitute.
The definite treaty of peace between
Turkey and Greece has been signed.
Advices from the orient say that n
tidal wave at Port Isabella destroyed
many houses and killed over 1000 per-
sons.
The Belgian government has decided
that Americans residing in that coun-
try will hereafter be exempt from serv-
ice in the civil guard