The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-12-12

some Do you know that that old woman
broWbeat and bullyragged and hectored me
for fully fifteen minutes before could even
begin to convince her that / hadn't manu-
factured the yarn, that didn't know the
dl1erence between yarn a5d tour-incn
tween green and blue except in a pousse
cafe, that didn't own the building and the
ground lease; that / only earned 'ty-three
proper place for her to make her spiel was
at the yarn counter Even after l had told
her all this, and groveled, and abased my
self before her, she went on sprinkling me,
and wetting me down like she wanted to
sweep me with her moist umbrella, and by
the time she left | had begun to believe my
self on the same general moral plane as
Durrant and Martin Thorn, and the de-
ceased Holmes, and the rest of that push
UNPOPULAR WITH THE CLERKS.
Another pleasing duty in connection with
my job is that Of keeping the clerks, male
and female, in order. That's the reason I'm
so popular around here. Notice it! Notice
how they all refrain from stabbing the with
pencils and scissors and hatpins as I pass
down the aisles Notice how cheerfully they
don't look at me when | suddenly heave in
sight. It's simply touching and wonderful
how much I'm loved around this building.
You see, | can have any of EN- fired on
short notice-and that's the reason L don't
go on the annual picnics given by the house
as the worth of my life to go on one of
them. I've only had one employee discharged
since became a fioor-walker in this insti-
tuition, and he was drunken Scotchman in
the dry goods department, who figured it
that, because / was compelled by circum-
stances to curl my mustache, it would be
a pretty safe proposition to hit me on the
nose. l paid for the provisions of his wife
and family while he was in the hospital.
But they all know that the monitor busi-
ness is part of the duties OF my lob and
tnat S the reason they hate me- There's 20
way can square myself, either. For ex-
ample:
"A few weeks ago heard some sort of a
scrap taxing place at the fancy goods coun-
ter l skated around there to see what
was the matter handsomely dressed
mlddie-aged woman with a Du Maurier
aqulllne nose and bad eye was letting
one OF the girls behind the counter have it
In way to make man catch at his breath
ny, you wretched. peroxided, impu-
gent cI5 MISSY you. she was saying to the girl.
HOW care you stand there and tell me that
that ian is hand-painted, when any infant
IN arms can see that it is only stampede
The girl was dyed-in-t he-wool Ameri-
can girl, and she was therefore not devised
TO stand for that kind of talk.
Madame l heard her say to the Du
Maurler dowager, 1T is now a matter of
complete indifference to me whether YOU
buy this fan or not. All the same l want
to again assure you that it is hand-painted
EVERY DlI as Inucn nanu-palnIed as you
yourself are
''Tableau: I thought the woman in front
of the counter would have apoplexy. ] cut
In then and tried to smooth the thing over,
but she walked over me as If | was so much
tanbark. She demanded to see the propri-
etor instanter, and l led her to him, fearing
that if L did not she would tear the building
in two, raze it to the ground and fire a vol
ley over the ruins. She bulldoZed the propri-
etor for ten minutes or so, and demanded
the immediate discharge of the girl. The
proprietor promised to discharge the girl
instantly, and the handsomely dressed mid
dle-aged woman, with the temper and
tongue of a fish woman, departed, with her
head in that giraffe posture you've seen.
Well, l told the proprietor all about it
called her names and treated her in general
like a hyena-so that, instead of firing the
girl, the proprietor sent a bill to the
dowager TO close ner account, together with
a note requesting immediate settlement.
well, do you know. that that girl whose
job saved for her is just as much down
on me as she ever was, and makes all kinds
of fancy cracks about my iaexpr> SSlble love
illness, and the make of my shoes, and the
style of my walk, and the cut of my jb in
general, every time | turn my back?
REFUGE FOR MALE SHOPPERS.
Another duty of my job is that of con-
selling men whose wives drag them down
here on shopping expeditions. After the
mans wife has hauled him all over the
building a few times and spent two or three
hours in buying Sl.A worth of everything,
he is pretty apt to revolt when she lines up
at the dress goods counter, which is on this
floor of mine. and when he revolts he usu-
ally breaks away from her in desperation
and wanders around the whole floor like