The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-03-17
Troubles Of n Backward Lover.

Sister Elm came Into the Kitchen
and exclaimed excitedly:
"Oh, Matilda, Joe lis going to ask
pa for me, to-day" CO
"Humph p said I, for never lose
chance to snub her, for she is al
ways sneering at me for being an old
maid.
Now am all practicability and rush
and hurry, and moving from morning
till night; my hands are big and red
and rough; I am stiff and long and
angular; all the graces Of my girlhood
have been scrubbed, washed and iron
ed out of me.
But Ems different. She is one of
the lolling, languishing kind. She
can simper and giggle, and ooh, don't
John-ah, !" in "0h do John-ah" tone
of voice, and she has had beaux with
out number ever since she was born.
After she had been deluged with
lovers of all nationalities, she caught
a real Yankee, not one of the sharp,
driving, poney-making kind, but a
gentle, soft-headed, tender-hearted
fellow. He never failed to put off
tomorrow what ought to be done to-
day.
Well, as I started out to say, En-
had announced that Joe was going to
ask for her, and I had "humphed" in
my most incredulous style for during
the last five years Joe had had period
ical spasms Of courage.
Full nineteen hundred times he had
made up his mind to ask pa for EN-,
and then begged off. I could never
understand why it was such bugbear,
for pa would have been perfectly de-
lighted to give her away, for she has
always been quite a bill Of expense,
to him. After few days En- would
prod him to the verge of distraction.
Then he would brace up again and
promise to do it, but it always ended
in his postponing it indefinitely.
So I said ''humph p as aggravating-
ly as possible. That made her furi-
Gus.
"You act as if you thought he
wouldn't ask pa.
At that moment Joe unluckily came
into the kitchen.
"Em, hadn't you just as soon wait
until next Sunday p
sNo, I wouldn't" she cried, an
grily.
"But, EN-, by that time I might get
raise in my salary"
Poor fellow, he was only earning
SIS a week, and it was the dream of
his life to get "raise.
eyes," En- answered bitterly, "a
raise has been your excuse for the last
four years; why don't you ask per-
mission to put it off until after the
Nashville exposition p
He evidently did not notice the cut
ting sarcasm of her voice, for he said,
eagerly,
we wait until then, so you can be at
home to help s,lp your folks entertain your
En- was in such rage that she
almost cried, but instead she fairly
sc-camed,-
"Joe, do you want to marry me 2"
"Of course I do" he responded
placidly, "or else I wouldn't come to
see you"
"Well, then, you must ask pa, for I
am not going to get married without
his consent.
"But I am going to ask him.
"When ?''
''Now, see here, EN-, do be reason
able; he knows what come here for,
and, of course, he is willing, or he
wouldn't let me come.
"When are you going to ask pa ?"
she repeated angrily.
"Why--ah, L don't know-ah u
"Well, now, I'll tell you one thing,
Joseph, that if you don't ask him to-
day, I'll never, never marry you.
"Oh, En-, don't be hard on me p
"You march up this minute, sir, and
ask pa for me, or I'll never marry
you p and she rushed out of the room,
flung open the piano and began to
play so violently, that / thought
every cord in the instrument would
| snap.
Joe looked at me appealingly.
"What do you think l had better
do ?"
$50 upstairs and see pa, I replied.
"Do you suppose she'll feel better
| III few minutes ?" ne inquired anx-
iously.
"No, she is in dead earnest, and if
you want her
"Ill have to ask for her, suppose,
he answered, with disconsolate sigh.
I couldn't help feeling sorry for him,
for he looked as detected as if he were
going to the stake.
1T won't be very hard" Iventured
to say.
"Oh, it's terrible thing to dc"
His lips grew white, the perspiration
stood out on his forehead, and he was
shaking from head to foot with ner-
vous chill.
So he went upstairs, and was gone
about five minutes, and they both
came tearing out into the kitchen,
where they danced, and embraced, and
kissed each other like two mad crea-
lures. She was so proud Of him, and
he was so glad he had the thing off
his hands, that they nearly strangled
each other.
Then he had to tell her about 40
times how he felt when he went up
stairs, and what pa said, how ma look
ed, and what they thought, and how
they acted, and all about it, until |
was forced to come to the conclusion
| if this is the nineteenth century style
of ''asking pa" am glad no one ever
asked for me.
What Kind Of Warming.