Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1897-12-05
TO MANAGE YOUR HUSBAND.
TACT AND DISCRETION ARE ABSO-
LUTELY NECESSARY.
He Must BE kept Contented-Palat-
able Food ls Essential. md He
Likes Order and Expects
Admiration.
ON the Chicago Times Herald.

From the Chicago Times Herald.
There are certain general principles in
managing husbands which can be relied
upon. but each individual case develops
especial features. which should be given
particular attention to obtain the best re-
suits.
1t is an advantage If the necessity for
management does not occur until the hus-
band. as such, has been studied for six
months or a year. By that time a record
has been made, consciously or UNCONSCIOUS
ly, by both parties of traits of character
and disposition, and the method CT manage
n.ent is apt to be largely intuitive and in
stinctive.
Whether such time has elapsed or not,
the subject should never be startled or
reused into opposition by any open attempt
at management. 1t is far better to lose Il
temporary advantage than to win it at the
cost of arousing suspicion. The most per-
feet management is eXerted by Il manner
which never awakens any feeling save that
of absolute content and satisfaction in the
mind of the manage man.
Such a state of contentment Is the foun-
dation of all success. Consequently the
chief concern of the woman should be to
dition. 1t is to be inferred that palatable
food will conduce largely to this frame of
mind. TIL study of likes and dislikes In
the culinary line is absolutely essential.
A man has been known to be abs olutely UNI
manageable when suffering from an aching
void or its contrary in the region of that
of coffee. IA well broiled steak. or chop. an
admirably dressed salad are, on occasions,
more powerful arguments than logic or
pathos.
Men Prefer Orderly Methods.
Men. being as a class of simple and direct
minds. prefer orderly method. They like an
arrangement of their personal eff cts which
can be srasped with no effort. even though
it is badly unattractive. Hence it is well
to keep their belongings where they are
most available. even at an actual sacrifice.
1t is wise to place their garments in regular
piles. and lay them out in plain view
when needed for instant use. This rule has
these attentions are only Irritating. and
awaken Impotence or result in ~tyranpous
eXactions. Temperament must be taken
into full account as well as early training
and habits.
Economy in woman is generally pleasing
to the husband. Hence it is well to mention
hold supplies. as evidence of knowledge of
expenses. This SHOULD not be done too fire.
quently. as 1t may awaken a spirit of in.
too far. 1t Is never wise to inquire, on the
other hand. into the personal expenses OF a
husband who is being managed.
Creature comforts having been we'll con-
sidered and supplied. the discreet manager
will begin to mold The opinions and direct
the desires in the wished-for directions.
. SplltI duIttiol IL III olS NCNSl Stlk-
tradict" is a motto emblazoned on the
creed of every successful woman manager.
The next step is to never lead the husband
to contradict. This is a nice point.
Definite statements are to be avoided. 1t is
doubly difficult to effect a change II any
decided stand has been taken. In this fled
tact and intuition are invaluable. Always.
lead the husband to believe that the in
~itiative. the suggestive comes from him..
II this can be effected the family will tread
a path Of roses. If this condition is con-
t,nually kept in mind It can. beyond ques-
ton. be finally accomplished.
Say Gas You Sugsested."
To this end the use of phrases. 'as you
suggested" ''as you said the other day"
ton ~ have a ., been tf fn11H gnG Gyes your y rb ssgS yon
meant" is very helpful. A man is con-
scious Of his fitness to lead and is not
easily disabused of his ability. 1t takes
nature are to be avoided.
The manager should always plan to have
an unfailing supply Of appreciation and ad-
too large: the demand always exceeds the
supply. Personal behavior. appearance. at
ttern;m,iiGnnss;;;n should sndra all be r. noticed ;t &c ,m With ai1s
to approve. then all comment should be
withheld. In this limited space no rules
The matter is so complicated that it is
best to omit entirely unless years of train
ing have given the manager unusual con-
should absolutely never be given. as from
a young wife to an elderly husband. or
from an elderly wife to a youthful spouse.
But these cases have rules to themselves.
iEasmuch as in each case the husband en-
Joys being openly managed, as this proves
him of especial Importance.
Thus far 1t has been possible to lay down
only the simplest rules suited to the aver
age man and woman. No question in diplo-
macy can equal this task in delicacy. The
study is fascinating in itself and far-reach.
ing In its effects. In every community sue
cess in this field is recognized and applaud
ed. Young women rarely realize the tact
and discretion required in this high CALI
Ing. hut the years give wisdom.
managers from Mother Eve. down through
Xantippe to the wives of Henry VIII. Of
England and the present day. Yet the good