The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-12-18
THE JokERs' BUDGET.

AND NOW THEY DON'T SPEAK.
Old Maid-There is On art in learn
ing to forget.
Miss Young-Birthdays. for m
stance.
VERBAL EccENTRICITIEs.
Hobson-I saw as soon as l met him
that he was hot about something.
Wigwag-How was that ?
Hobson-He treated me very coldly.
BRIEF CRITICISM.
ct have only one fault to find with
this poem," said the soulless editor.
"And what is that ?" inquired tho
author.
cts no good"
THREE ARE CROWD.
"You know what hatred Brown
has for a crowd ?"
eyes, indeed; what of it ?"
"His wife presented him with trip
lets yesterday"
FOND RETROSPECT.
CT WISH" said the unhappy, per-
spring man, "that / could find that
little boy"
"WhSt lite boy?"
"The one who threw snowballs at
me last winter. I'd like to forgive
him."
HER EXCUSE.
''Mrs. Frisque was at the garden
party last night with her little son."
"Why, her husband has been dead
only six weeks.
Eyes. She said she had to come
out to take the heir"
THERE'S AN ALTERNATIVE.
cit has come to fine pass" says
The Salt Lake Tribune, eff man
can't go to Jail without going to
church." Suppose, Judge, you try
going to church without going to jail.
NEW STYLE OF swINDLE.
"No," remarked the man with fashy
clothes; there's no money in sellin'
gold bricks any more. I've got
better lag dan dat"
"What IS 1t r
Elm goin' up to Alaska wit a valise
full of wooden sandwiches.
TOO NUMEROUS TO MENTION.
"You newspaper fellows are great
toadies," said the cynical visitor.
''You fall over one another trying to
get stories about successful Klondikers,
but why don't you write up the fellows
who have failed ?"
"We haven't the space"
SERIOUS, BUT NOT FATAL.
s'Parker looks like wreck"
eyes; he met with an accident"
''Indeed! Was he much injured ?"
.'Well, he's wearing his heart in q
sling"
AFTER THE WEDDING.
sWhy so thoughtful ?" asked the
bride.
"Well," replied the groom, Give
just been thinking how worried for
two years for fear I wouldn't get You.
''And now?"
''Why, now, when 1 think it all
over, 1 can't help kicking myself for
being such fool as to worry"
1T BEAT SWORD AND CANNON.
She-So you are war correspond
ent.
He-Yes.
She-What was the worst slaughter
you ever saw ?
He-The worst slaughter ] ever
saw took place the night l turned my
first story in to the city editor.
THE LEGAL WAY.
Client think we had better sue
for about $15, 900 damages, don't you !?
Lawyer-Will that satisfy you
Client think so.
Lawyer-We'll make it SAC, QUO,
then. I shall want about $25, 900 for
my fee"
AVOIDING RISKS.
Gladys-Papa's going to give us a
check at the wedding instead OF a
present, Tom.
Tom-All right. Well have the
ceremony at high noon, then, instead
of at o'clock.
Gladys-Why, what for, dear ?
Tom-Banks close at 3.
SOME GROUND FOR 1T.
Mr.. Darley-I have been reading
an article which takes the ground tina
human beings are simply aggregations
of microbes, formed of piled-up bacilli,
in other words. What do you think
of that
Mr.. Fosdick-Well, I met a gentle
man from Berlin who told me that he
was Germ man.
HATEFUL OLD MAN.
"And when your wheel broke down
several miles from home" said the old
man, lyon repaired it all by yourself,
did you ?"
81 did," answered the typewriter,
proudly.
.It seems mighty funny to me.
them" he continued, ''that when the
ribbon on your machine needs shift
ing you have to call on that dude OF a
bookkeeper to fix it for you every
time.
HER OBJECTIONS.
.sYoung Brown asked for Martha's
hand to-day" said the old gentleman
thoughtfully.
oT'm afraid be won't do" returned