davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1897-03-28
NEWSPAPER WAITS.

She-I can sympathize with you. l
was married once myself He-But you
weren't married to a woman.-Tit-Bits.
A school teacher lately put the ques-
ton, What is the highest form of an
imal life?'' The giraffe!" responded
bright member of the class.-Tit-Bits
Making Good Beginning-When we
are married you will give me every
thing I ask?' Everything, sweet
heart, everything" And then he
walked home to save car-fare.-Truth.
Bacon-Cousins says he can count all
of his relatives on his two hands. Egg
bert-Well, don't see why he
shouldn't; that's where he seems to
Statesman.
A Rest.-Teacher Gn Philadelphia
school philadelphia was settled %
the Quakers in 1862. Now, Willy
Green, tell us what happened after
that Willy Green Qately moved from
New York)-'Nothin'!-Puck.
In a New Lght.-''The use of cleo
tricity." said Bilkins, doesn't seem to
be such modern idea after all" How
is that?" asked Wilkins. We'll, you
see, Noah must have used the ark
light Detroit Free Press.
The Chronic Bachelor-"I wonder
said the Sweet Young Thing, why a
man is always scared when he pro
poses?' That said the Chronic
Bachelor, 'is his guardian angel try
ing to hold him back. ck.'-Indianapolis
Journal.
I heard ye were on shtrike," said
Mike to his friend Fat. L was that
answered Pat. "A shtrike for what,
Pat?" For shorter hours, Mike .
Am did ye get them?" Sure We did,
Mike. It's not workin at all l am
."-Tit-B
Papa-Im surprised that you are at
the foot of your class, Tommy. Why
aren't you at the head sometimes, ike
little Willie Bigbee? Tommy-You
see. papa, Willie's got an awfully smart
father, and L guess he takes after HIM
-Harpers BaZar.
She tulantly)-Women occupying
front seats in a theater who take off
their hats show as much consideration
for others as men do He-No, they
don't. Many men in the front row don't
even wear any hair on their heads
Brooklyn Life.
The record-union., 1897-03-28

and mother followed him to the gate.
kissed the TALL comely, red-cheeked.
beardless boy and smiled through their
tears as he said: TIL come back when
the war is over"
Not long after this the boys regiment
the Twenty third Ohio-left the State
for the front. The heavy knapsack. full
haversack, cartridge-box and gun he
carried on that first start to the capital
made him perspire and his back bend
before he reached the station, where he
clambered into hard-seated car. What
ride it was and what thoughts were
in his mind. The train carried him
only half way to Washington that time.
He had to walk the other half, and be-
tween times to stand on lonely picket
post, be part of a skirmish line, take
his place in line of battle He had to
cook his own meals, put up his tent.
make his bed, wash and mend his
clothes: but after he had fought in
score of great battles and won several
promotions he reached Washington. 1t
was long, hard trip, but he will never
make another of which he is prouder.
A young man in the Shenandoah Val
ley, in 1862, standing by the roadside,
watched the passing regiment The
Twentythird Ohio swung along. Col.
Stanley Matthews, later of the Su-
preme Court, sat on his horse awkward
ly. Lieutenant Colonel r. B. Hayes.
later President. looked the earnestness
that he felt. a private boyishelook-
ing fellow, attracted his attention. His
trousers We're rolled up to keep them
out of the mud, his cap was pushed
back, his FURNISHED musket and breast
plate blistened in the sunshine, and his
cheerful chatting gladdened those about
him. He was the future President, on
his first trip to the capital
Thirty-five years have passed. The
same Virginian, now white haired,
went to the station on the I'd of March
to see the Presidents train He looked
at the President-elect, rubbed his eyes,
looked again, and said: Yes, it is the
same boy, grown older-then one of the
least of Uncle Sans servants; but now
about TO become the Nations first ser
want"
The whole country was watching the
Ohio boy on this trip to Washington
Not so the first time
\ million men of the old army. scat
tered over the wide world, will stand at
attention and salute as he takes the
oath. and they Will bespeak for him
Gods guidance and blessing.-J. A.
Watrous in Chicago Times Herald.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
The Theater Hat.

When Tillinghast and Gildersleeve
took their seats in the theater the other
night, they found their view of the stage
interrupted by large picture-hat on the
head of a lady in front of them. BY
adroit movements iaterally the wearer
of the hat managed to obscure the view
of both the young men alternately, IN
stead of only one, which is the usual
privilege of the big theater head-gear.
After nearly dislocating his neck in
the endeavor to dodge the shadow,
Tillipghast said to his friend:
What a pity it is that d lady with
such a pretty face should be obliged to
wear such a large hat in order to con-
ceal some personal defect about her
head!''
What do you suppose the defect is?''
replied Tillinghast in penetrative tones
Its my opinion that she is prematurely
bald"
The conSpiratOrS saw that their COM
ments were heard, for the hat ceased
to bob around, and the lady's head as
sumed an attentive attitude.
"Oh no, 1 don't think she is prema-
turely bald" replied Gildersleeve. It's
nv opinion that her hair is turning gray.
She is using hair-dye, and has neg
lected to put it on for a week or so, and,
in consequence, the hair is showing
white at the roots, while it is black
where it has been dyed. One naturally
wishes to hide it, under such circum-
stances, you know"
At this point the wearer of the hat
gave a sniff of defiance, half looked
around, and then raised her hat from
her head and placed it on her lap, and
no doubt she thought to herself.
III just show them whether I am
prematurely bald or whether l haven t
had time to apply hair dye for a week."
Tillinghast smiled softly as he said:
Just see what magnificent hair she
has. We were both wrong. Isn't it a
pity that such hair should ever be COW
cred by hat?"
TT is, indeed replied Gildersleeve-
Then the two willy young men en-
joyed the play, while a smile of pleasure
played on the face of the lady-IIar-
per's Bazar.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
OREGON WOMEN.
How They Were COaxed Into the Ter
ritory in Early Days.

There are plenty of women in Ore
gon now" observed a prominent Ore
gon politician, who is here to see that
that State is not forgotten in the mat
ter of patronage, but it is within the
memory of many of us when women
were very scarce there. We gave it
out that we wanted them for school
teachers and the like and encouraged
them to come out there, but the truth
was that the men wanted them for
wives. / remember once We sent a
young man to Massachusetts, where he
was well acquainted, with orders to col
lect 100 young women and to escort
them back to Oregon. We guaranteed
every one of them one years employ
ment. The active man in the matter
was a fine looking young man, who
afterward served two terms in Con-
gress from our State. He spent two
months in selecting the party and start
ed West with them. On the trip out
he courted one of the school teachers
en- his own hook and actually got her
consent to a marriage on the arrival
of the train at Portland. The boys
howled considerably about it, claiming
that he had treated them unfairly in
having first choice, but there was a lot
of fine marriageable material left. Some
of these women are to-day the leading
ladies of the society of the State. More
than three-fourths of the hundred were
married inside of three years and many
in less than one year. A few of the
lot, however, are teaching school there
to-day, not that they did not have Of
fers, but because they would not accept
any of the fellows who offered them
selves. Now that Senator Mitchell has
about given up his contest to return as
Senator, he will likely be succeeded by
a gentleman who married one of the
party of school teachers to which / re-
fer. He will bring his wife here with
him, and you Washington folks can see
for yourselves the kind of ladies we had
out there for school teachers. They
can't be surpassed, even if equaled,
anywhere. l may be an interested per-
son, though, for it happens that my
wife was one Of the same party. =
Washington Star.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
FOURTH
Annual Announcement

1T IS WITH PLEASURE AND PAR
donable pride that we send to the citizens
of Sacramento and surrounding country
this annual statement of the fourth year
of the Sacramento Sanitarium or NeaSle
Medical Institute
Four years ago we founded this insti-
tute at its present elegant quarters. Since
then, with labor and money, We have con-
tinued to add to its stock of knowledge.
apparatus, medicines and accommodations
until now it stands the peer of any like
institution in the great West.
AT the institute, we keep as fIne stock
of pure drugs as can be procured in Europe
or America.
Full abreast with science, we keep both
homeopathic, Allopathic, Eclectic, Boz
tanic and regular remedies, and without
prejudice. we give each patient such RENE
dies as may best suit that individual case.
For patients who desire 1t We furnish
them with rooms and a professional nurse
at the institute, and we are prepared TO
treat and cure all and every kind OF dis
ease.
We would especially invite all those
who are in need of medical treatment or
have friends who may need the same 10
call at the institute and we belieNe thal
we Will convince you that, right mere at
home, we can give you as GOOD II not
better medical treatment than you can get
in any of the large cities and at Il much
less cost.
DR. Neagle and associates treat and cure
all Chronic Diseases and Diseases of the
Eye Ear, Throat and Lungs, Liver, Heart,
Kidney, Bladder Brain. Catarrh, Asthma,
Rheumatism, Bronchitis, Headache, Deaf
ness Chills and Malaria, Skin Diseases.
Neuralgia Diabetes, Dyspepsia, Dropsy.
Eczema Scrofula. Chronic Diarhea.
Hemorrhoids and Rectal Troubles, and all
forms of Sores, Blood and Wasting DIS
eases.
NERVOUS DISEASES and NERVOUS
PROSTRATION made speciality
Consultation either at the Institute or by
mail FREE.
For further information call in person
or write to the NEAGLE MEDICAL IN
STITUTE Of PHYSICIANS and 81 X
GEONS. located permanently at 72ll2 X
STREET Sacramento.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
A Veteran in the Business.

ST am very sorry. sir" said the poet,
''but 1 am obliged to call your attention
to the fact that a line in one of my re-
cent compositions was entirely per-
verted and the meaning painfully dis
torted by the compositor.
young man." replied the editor, that
compositor has gone through more po-
ems than you ever wrote or even read.
He has put in his life setting up poetry
of all kinds, spring and fall styles, and
heavier goods for winter. He may
have changed your poem-but when
YOU say he harmed it, you presume.
When a man of his experience makes
up his mind to change a piece of poe
try. person in your position should re-
member the respect that is due to su-
perior knowledge and not attempt to
criticise e"-Washington Star.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
The New Telephone Girl.

She was new girl at the Central Tel
ephone Exchange. Her previous ex-
perience in this big and busy world had
been behind the dry goods counter.
Nevertheless, she was a pleasant spo-
ken young lady, and amiability was
written all over her nature.
She had adopted as her motto the
touching sentence, 1--WE strive to
please and she honestly tried to live
up to it.
There was a ring at the bell.
She applied her ear to the instrument
and asked, sweetly, What number,
please?"
Let me have No. Al"
II am sorry that No. 474 is busy
now she replied. You can have No.
Alb or No. 415 if you wish
The individual at the other end of
the wire hung UP his receiver.-Har-
per's Bazaar.
The record-union., 1897-03-28

ences to be observed in it's compound
ing over that OF the Northern meal. 1t
must be sifted once to begin with, and
no sugar or molasses is needed. as its
natural sweetness is sufficient. Except
in making mullins, no baking powder is
used and then only half the quantity
put in with other meal. A little melted
lard provides the proper shortening,
and if eggs are used they are not to be
beaten-only stirred in.
Furniture usually needs freshening
every spring. The following prepara-
ton for polishing is offered under
guarantee of value and reliability: or
olive oil and good, sharp vinegar take
equal parts, shaking together until
thoroughly mixed. 1t should be pre-
pared two or three days before using,
and frequently given a thorough shak-
ing during the time. Apply to the wood
with soft flannel cloth, and polish
hard with another soft flannel. This
treatment removes or covers scratches.
finger marks and rubs and gives the
appearance of new. 1t is safe and ef-
fective upon all kinds of furniture, but
especially beauties and freshens oak
and other light woods.
Stewed bananas are cooked till clear
in a syrup made of one cup Of sugar,
one of water, bay leaf, and stick of
cinnamon. 1t has to be recorded that
though cooked bananas are recognized
as far more wholesome than uncOoked.
children are apt to reject them except
n lat
bananas poured around custard cup
mOldS of cornstarch or rice tempt the
small eaters, though not always. They
have to be coaxed and ged-one
mother encountered recently confessed
to bribery-but after a few trials the
taste seems to be acquired, and then
stewed or baked bananas or banana
fritters may become a frequent dish.
A plain, yard-sQuare table center for
informal use on the polished luncheon
table may be made attractive by hav-
ing the laundresS crease an eighteen
inch square in it's center and pass the
fold through fluting machine, crimp-
ing it only about half an inch in
depth. Open and lay the cloth dia-
mond wise on the table.
Slip a wooden skewer across the top
under the lid of the silver coffeepOt that
is not often used. 1t will prevent the
mustiness that gathers from want of
air, often affecting the flavor of the
| next brew of coffee.
A simple dessert for the children's
| table is any dried and sugared fruit,
like dates or figs, chopped and mixed
with oatmeal, farina, hominy, or other
cereal. the whole nodded and served
with plain or whipped cream.
Small dOilieS the color of the lamp
Shades are sometimes used at lunch
cons placed at each cover for the
bread. When this is done a small in
dividual butter plate is provided.
| Two small gastronomic hints are, to
put the merest suspicion of peppermint
in a French dressing for a green salad,
and to CRATE fresh cocoanut over a dish
of fish salad.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
TWO TRIPS TO WASHINGTON.
The Soldier Boy and the President
Elect of the United States.

An Ohio boy of 16 threw up his hat
and cheeted as heartily as any one in
the village that November morning in
1860 when it was definitely known
that Abraham Lincoln was elected
President. The boy, like tens of thou
sands Of other boys, had taken deep
interest in the campaign. The zeal and
enthusiasm of that vast army of boys
played no small part in the Republican
party'S first successful battle. / have
sOmetime1 thought that the marshall
ing of these boys in the Lincoln army
Of Wide AWakes in 1860 was a part of
Gods plan. Certainly it helped in
placing at the head of the republic a
man who was best fitted for the high
station. AS Wide AWakeS they learned
how to keep step, how to form lines, to
face to obey orders. 1t was of great
value to them a year later They
learned also to love Lincoln and looked
up to him as their leader In the bat
tie for his advancement to the White
House the Ohio boy had heard most of
the great speakers of his State includ-
ing Senator Ben Wade, Joshua r. Gid
dings, Salmon P. Chase, John Sherman,
then comparatively new in public life;
who was afterward President-James
A Garfield
The Ohio boy read Lincoln's farewell
address to the people of Springfield
when he started to Washington. He
followed him on that memorable jour-
ney and grew indignant when it be-
came apparent that the life of the man
he loved uas in danger-that he might
be assassinated before assuming the
reins of Government. How he. like
thousands of others boys, wanted to
stand between him and danger on that
journey to Washington thirty-six years
ago last month. And how satisfied he
and they We're when he was inaugu-
rated. In their eyes things would go
right when Buchanan was out and
Lincoln was in. They believed. until
that April day when the news came of
the lowering of the flag in Charleston
Harbor, that Lincoln would settle the
disputes between the North and South.
He did, but not in the way they then
thought he would
President Lincoln has called for vol
unteers, mother, I want to go. Please
get fathers consent" wrote the Ohio
boy from his school, 'sYou are too
young; wait was the fathers reply.
But when 100000 more were called
for the determination of the boy to
become {. soldier was so unbendable
that the father and mother held a con-
ference with closed doors and ended it
by bowling their heads in prayer and
asking Gcd's guidance in tho matter.
The course of the Ohio father and
mother was that of thousands of other
fathers and mothers in the great emer-
gency. The boy was told that he could
go. Within twenty-four hours he had
enlisted.
"The company is ordered to join the
regiment, mother. 1 shall have to
leave home tomorrow" Thousands of
other young heroes said about the same
thing that year.
God bless my boy" said the young
mother, for she was young then, only
80. do your full duty, my son. said
the kindly, patriotic father. Father
The record-union., 1897-03-28

Medium-The spirit of your wife
wishes to speak with you.
Widower-You're a fakir; my wife
never would ask permission to speak
with me.-Truth.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
To Cure a Cold In One Day

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tab
lets. All druggists refund the money if
it fails to cure. 25c.
The record-union., 1897-03-28

The oldest university in the world is
Put plenty of salt pork into veal loaf,
for it is one Of the best seasonings.
The record-union., 1897-03-28
Just the Same.

Tommy-Mamma. the ice cream put
on my burned hand didn't do me a bit
of good
Mother-Ice cream. Why, my dear
child, j said cold cream.
0bmmy-Well, ma, isn't ice cream
cold New York Tribune.
The record-union., 1897-03-28

Police Justice-What's your name?
Prisoner-M' name ish Szczyz.
Police Justice-How do you spell it?
PriSoner-S-Z-C-Z-Y-
Police Justice-What's he charged
with. officer?
Ofticer-Whisky.
Police Justice-Umph. Judging from
his name, / thought he was charged
with soda water.
The record-union., 1897-03-28

I'm paper on Jonah in Ninevah' DR..
H. Clay Trumbull ventures to say that
"a popularity of Bible miracles, that
differentiates them from all mere myths
and fables and lying wonders" of
any age, is their entire reasonableness
as miracles, their clear exhibit of super
naturalness without unnaturalness. It
The record-union., 1897-03-28

Those who are fortunate enough to
procure in any way some real Virginia
cornmeal have the base of a most
toothsome dish at hand. A Southern
woman says there are several differ
The record-union., 1897-03-28

dining rooms are in many ways pref
cradle, but the average housewife pre-
fers her dining room carpeted. Grease
spots are readily removed by vigorous
applications of gasoline upon sponge
or soft cloth. Gasoline evaporateS rap
idly. leaving no trace of the grease
spot. Do not use gasoline near flame
and keep the bottle containing it tight
corked every moment, as 1t wastes fast
from evaporation. Ammonia in light
soap suds is also excellent for remoV-
ing grease spots from carpets.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-05-30

one-haf Of the extensive practice Of Or.
Shepard is conducted at the patients homes
by the use Of the Home Treatment. BY
means OF a carefully prepared symptom
Blank, which. when filled out, gives a full
history Of the complaint the age, the habits
and characteristics 81 the patient the COM
plcations existing and the particular phases
of the diseases suffered from. Dr. Shepard is
enabled to accurately diagnose and pre-
scribe for each patient Thus every symp-
tom, every fact desired. is down before him
In black and white and is always on hand to
refer to and study. No point is forgotten. as
every feature of the disease is fully covered.
Those who send for a symptom Blank re-
ceive a letter of information also. When
the Symptom Blank is returned the case is
diagnosed, the proper treatment for the first
month is prescribed and shipped Immediately
by express. the patient is notified thereof In
a letter Of instructions and is requested to re-
port his condition within, a week. Every
week he sends in report. which Is fully
replied to. Or. Shepard keeps in constant
touch with the patient, and, whenever nee
essary, makes such changes or notifications
in the treatment as are requir ed. The cor
respondence is a pleasure and recreation for
the patient and most valuable to the phys-
clan
1t matter not how far you may live from
Omaha or how near you are to the city, you
can get, by mail, close careful and scien-
tific treatment OF your case.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-05-30
UNIVERSITIES WIN AS USUAL
Have Little Trouble in Disposing of the
Carp Aggregation.
HARD HITTING SETTLES THE CAME EARLY
Clarke Pounded All over the Field b.
the Ex-CulIeginns, While Rob-
inson wns Hardly Ever
Located

The Bluffs semi-professonal team was
over the Big Bridge yesterday afternoon for
a tussle with the University club team.
They had it, and when they got through they
we're about the worst disappointed aggrega-
ton of ball players in the country. Abbott's
brawny lads jumped onto Clarke from the
very start and once getting their hand in,
pounded him as they pleased. Colonel Lucas
was lifted from the game for back talk to
Umpire Keith, who, they swear, is little
the best that ever come out of the swamp
Robinson pitched for the Universities and
acquitted himself in superb shape. The Uni
versitics have certainly struck a batting
streak this spring and if they keep it up, will
meet few teams this season that will down
them. They play in the Bluffs Monday
afteruoon Score:
Omaha daily bee., 1897-05-30
YALE DEFEATS WISCONSIN
Blues Beat the Badgers on Lake salstonstall
By Thrse Lengths,
PRETTY RACE FROM START TO FINISH
Wisconsin Rows In Good Form
ThrouEhout the Two MILES, hut
Yale Does Not catch the
Water ForctbIy.

NEW HAVEN, Conn, May 2e-Yale won
the two mile boat race from the University
Of Wisconsin on Lake Saltonstal this after
noon by about three lengths in 1854, the
wisconsins finishing three seconds behind.
From the start to finish the visitors gPve
Yale a good battle The two eights rowed
evenly. Yale squirting ahead as soon as
Referee Richards pistol was fired. and never
being overtaken, although the Yale stroke
was lowered during the last half mile and
the Wisconsin crew decreased the distance
between the two boats by half length.
The race was not started till o'clock.
Wisconsin won the toss for course, and
chose the east side. This gave her the
straighter side of the lake. At the start
the crews settled down TO vigorous rowing.
Yale crept steadily to the lead. and by the
time a quarter Of a mile had been traversed
was nearly a length ahead. The crew
which had both caught the water at a
forty to the minute stroke, now let down
somewhat, ard Yale timed rowing about
thirty-two to the minute and Wisconsin
thirty-four. At the stake boat Yale had
nearly length of clear water between her
shell and Wisconsin, and the blue continued
to draw away until half a mile from the
finish. The stroke, Langford of Yale.
the Wisconsins, despite their light weight.
seemed full of life and hit up a lively
stroke till they crossed the line. They
rowed in good form throughout the race
while Yale seemed not to catch the water
forcibly..
Omaha daily bee., 1897-05-30
BOARD INVENT

50. 8. 7.
DIX. 10, s. ), 4, 2.
C-6, 3.
H-A, K.