The morning times., 1897-03-07

a few, comparatively, are Of the Cont
nental-American variety, but rather due
to the desire OF two young people to es-
tablish a home for themselves, let me
talk TO you a little about this class OF
fine young persons, whom we all know
and would like to see well settled in life
with good prospect OF continued hap
pineSs Let us imagine friends that have
given consent, tie wedding, small or
great, fairly over, and the wedding pres
euts sored out and duplicates exchanged.
and our young people ready to begin TO
live 10y themselves
They find fun in living in the pantry
as one of them writes me, in a flat wait
ing for the plumbers To finish up the water
and heating appurtenanccs; for they have
q mutual stock Of what older folks twho
forget that they were ever yOungb cali a
lot OF 'nCnSensiCaI romance Without this
delightful glamor how few would have
the heart for a state that not only doubles
ones JOYS but has a thousand perilS with
in itself. But all the same. IL would be a
great deficiency TO furnish a brand new
home for a brand new married couple with
the romance lcrt cut. The trouble is. there
Is not likely 10 he enough Of il 10 last
lifetime; for happy are they whose cruise is
full and never-failing in this precious oint-
Tnent, which glor1es the commonplace and
gives one glimpse Of heaven on earth.
PhilIis' and Philips home is regarded by
them from different point of view from
what fathers and mothers were 10 them.
These two are to create a new home ont Of
the materials at hand-and form the ideals
within them selves.
Are they resolved that this house shall
have a beautiful atmosphere Of home life
about it. with love and mutual respect its
foundation stone, strong and deep enough
To stand every shock of life
Let's assume that Phillis has pondered
these things IN her heart like the virgin be
loved above all women, and where Philips
groSser mind Iags "a little behind, her high
ideals glorify the commonesJ duties and
make holy all the relations of Their mutual
Hves. Philip feels the influence of this
sweet womanliness even when he cannot
always live up 10 il, ana Il Will keep him
safe when argument would surely fail, for
TIE worlds Philips are yet apt 10 he set
IL their ways, averse 70 anything stronger
than a silver thread, like the influence OF
love pulling them into Untricd ways.
Philip ana Pajllis are Doubtless a wise
young couple ana they do well ID set up
for themselves, even If IL be IN u flat,
foT ones oEn home life does not flour
ish We'll in other peoples houses as a
general rule. II they have thougit out
their ideal home and have reasoned it
with good, common sense, they can be
trusted 70 90 by themselves to build
from within the house they wish il 10 be.
Surely there VIII be days when neither
Iaillis nor Philip viii be feeling tnat
all is sunshine for them. Things VIII
20 wrong within the house for PHllis,
plan as she may TO have them right, and
at the place OF business Of Philip things
VIII be as contrary. Now, how this
young couple can bear the strain is the
test OF the strength Of their ideal.
Philip may find Phillis eNtravagaut in
her notions Of the ''must-haves,' from
his standpoint, but he VIII remember it is
all matter of education, and they two
VIII have to modify their education by
mutual concessions, fixing new standards
or a common one. And If Philip is wise,
up-Uo-date man, as assume that he is, he
VIII go half way and not expect Phillis
GO come all the way TO meet him or his
ideas. PhillIs, too, VIII consider what
Philip can afford: and thus this rock Of
possible discord VIII have been escaped
Right here is the point where much OF
the roma nee OF married life receives its
hardest blows. Contrary opinions are the
little red foxes that nibbIe at and nip off
the tendriiIs Of romance, unless they are
Caught and killed at the start. \ mutual
understanding OF what can he afforded, and
no withholding OF Philips condolences for
fear Of worrying P hills will start them right
Each viii know that good providing and
good housekeeping important as those two
accomplishments are-are not enough with
out that peace which comes from mutual
confidence and desire to do the right thing
always.
Many a Phyllis has lost her influence
over Philip by constant nagging for a style
OF living which he could not afford, and
being a sturdy character, would not in,
dulge In, still believe a woman has the
deciding voice III the house, because 1t
is her sphere OF action, just as Philips
workshop or store is his. Philiis naturally
knows the needs Of the home better than
he does, and, where health permits society
rightly holds Philip as the provider sid
Phillis as the spender Of the money which
goes into homemakng. Where conditions
are reversed from habits Of dissipation oI
vice, the home is always the loser. no
matter how good and patient PhilIis ma
be.
1t takes two people TO make a Lcme, q
good woman and as good q man. It i;
sODhiStica reasoning which saws 1.-THE
woman makes tie home just as bad rea,
soning as, when a man goes wrong in any
direction. the world says: Some woman
is at the Bottom of it" 1t is pcor way
for a big, strong man TO shift all his bur
dens of sins of omission or commission upon
rome slender little woman's shoulders
little woman, known or unknown. The
world is fast getting away from that kind
of reasoning, and a man VIII stand or fall
on his own responsibility in the eyes of all
candid people Men and women do influ
ence each other all through life for good
Or evil, more especially in the house, but
If personal character is good loT anything
it is worth cultivating individually, and il
fsaboI time each peTsonw asackEowledgine 5
his own-or her own-perSonal RESPONSE
bility. a man can make very unhappy
household through his lack of character
of the better sort. And il would look much
better for him to think about il and own ul
to his share Of the responsibility instead OF
making the sweet, small wife at ONE the
scapegoat.
It is the revealing of personal traits in
the home which renders the first years