The silver lance., 1897-09-24
Atchison Globe Sights.

mighty easily.
No man who wears a beard should Re
called jack
No man looks well whea the tLe-m n
eter is above 80.
People who have the least luck have
most faith in it.
A compliment is nearly always the
rankest kind of lie
A man who induces little boys to fight
is always worthless.
Here's to the home makers of the
country The Hired Girls.
IF you want to hear snorting, praise Il
Christian scientist to doctor.
When man is looking for trouble he
should get into dentists chair
Some women would excuse crook if
he went to communion regularly.
Did anyone ever know a railroad engi-
neer who died natural death?
A reformcr is always ready to listen to
reason, if there is any money in it.
Did you ever notice how kindly every
one speaks to real worthless person?
The more the newspapers "roast some
people, the more they advertise them.
There is no quarrel quite so fierce as
that between a farmer and his renter.
Watermelons begin to taste like a
guests visited that has lasted too long
Nothing will make good housekeeper
move SO quickly as the sight Of a moth
marriages and sue for most of the di-
vorces.
Our idea of chump is man who
carries a tooth brush sticking out of his
pocket.
When man can't catch fish with min
nows, he thinks he ought to have frogs
for bait.
What lot of courage it must have
required in the man who was the first to
eat an oyster.
Give a woman time to go off by her
self. and she can always meet the demand
for pin.
Don't exagerate: If you repeat a story
as it was told to you, you are exagerat-
ing enough.
When society girl takes position as
a bookkeepcr, it is said she has become
an amanuensis.
Every man thinks he is good man,
but the facts are that good men are dis
tressingly scarce.
An old mans idea Of bright and in
telligent woman is one who enjoys hear
ing "reminiscences.
We make the claim that at least in
one particular we are like the Lord: we
love a cheerful giver.
The real lucky boy is the one who is
well during vacation, and takes sick Just
before school begins.
Even good and patient women long to
be rich just long eonugh to snub some
one who has snubbed them.
A boy who goes away from home to
attend a military" school, shouldn't
come back wearing the clothes.
A man works awfully hard all his life
in order to have enough saved to pay
doctor to cut him open at last.
Nothing makes a woman feel quite so
proud as to hear her children say that
they have never seen bed bug.
A man who builds a new house, at
tracts as much attention and criticism
az an old widower who marries again.
Our idea Of good time would be to
go to Europe. and get killed in an ava
lanche while making a tour OF the Alps.
The average woman will let nothing
on earth prevent her from putting up
fruit for the winter, except chance to
attend murder trial.
After people pass sixty years of age,
they trace every ailment Of youth to the
indiscretion of having remained up as
late as ten O'Clock at night.
Whenever any one enters place of
business whisthng or humming tune,
you can set him down as a chump, and
refuse to back down from your opinion
A man was boasting Of his good health
and of his long lived ancestors. There
was my grandfather he said, "he was
SO years old, and never did die; he was
killed"