The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-07-16

/ speak GermanT He-"Oh. II heats
the Dutch."-Yonkers Statesman.
Cynic-I can't see why man who :.
happy when single should ever mar
ry. F'riend-He never does.-Puck.
HAS DIR. Nansen any social stand
ingr Dear me, yes. He moves in
the highest cIrcles"-New York sun
He-You girls seem to be awfunv
fond Of sweets She-And YOU men
seem to be awfully fond Of sours-Cor-
nell Widow.
Stern father-I hear you were out
gambling last night. Is 1t true? Cav
youth-No, sir; | was ahead.-New
/ York Journal
Beggar-Please, sir, I'm SO exhausted
] can't get my breath and Gentle
man-Hcre's five cents; go and buy
one-IIarlem Life.
Mr.. New Hub What does II mean
when a bride promises to obey? Mrs.
New Hub-SimpIy that she prefers not
to make a scene.-Puck.
The doctor-It's twins, sir. Young
husband-I might have known it: it's
my wife's theory that two can live as
cheaply as one.-Tid-Bits.
freddie is jealous of his preroga-
tives. isn't hep "What makes you
say soi" "He got angry the other night
and told me not to be a fool"-New
York Sun.
ado you think Skinner can make
living out there" Make lIyingi
Why. he'd make living on a rock in
the middle Of the ocean-if there was
: another man on the rock.''-Tit-Bits.
Mrs. Spat-Your husband is an in
, yentor, | believe: Mrs Spotter-Yes.
Some of his excuses for coming home
| late at night are in use all over the
country Philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
won't you take this seat?" said the
r gentleman in the car. rising and lifting
e his hat. mo, thank YOU said the girl
| with the skates on her arm; 1--WE been
e skating, and I'm tired sitting down.
Yonkers Statesman.
IF didn't love my husband, I'd stab
+ him to deathr' exclaimed the warm
blooded lady from New Orleans. 81
: wouldn't" said the Chicago woman;
"Td get divorce and stick him for
alimony. Town Topics.
and how did he die:" asked the lady
who had come West to inquire after
the husband she had lost. 'Er-by re-
quest, maam," said the gentle cow
e boy, as mildly and regretfully as posi-
? indianapolis Journal.
"Who is that young woman near the
other end of the table talking about
correct taste in art:" (which young
woman? There are several "The one
with the wooden toothpick in her
T. mouth. "-Chicago Tribune.
do you see anything coming our
way?" asked the morning star Of a
companion. mot yet" was the reply
but | see. a servant below there VINO
~ y, is about to light her kitchen fire with
~ kerosene. "-Yonkers Statesman.
y ITS perfectly absurd, this clamol
= about our hats. People who can't see
N over them would better not go TO the
"a theater." Il know; that's what tolc
my husband. and he said, All right W.
>, won't 90: and we don't"-Bazar.
r simonsby-I have a chance to marrl
two girls; one is pretty, but mere but
IN teray. as 1t were. and the other, though
h. plain. is an excellent housekeepeE
40 Mr.. Russell of Chicago-Take the pref
ty one first.-Indianapolis Journal.
Mt How long have you been on TIL
as route?" asked the drummer oil III
he conductor on a primitive Souther
It, railroad. ",Ten yeahs, sub Indeed
to You must have gotten on several mile
south of where l did.'-Detroit Ere
Press.
He-"Now that our engagement
as ended. l suppose we should re'ur
each others letters?" She-"l suppos
So. And. George. while we are apo'
If why not return each others kisses"
,' Engagement renewed on the spot
~ Boston Transcript.
~. A Young student lately presen'e
i'm himself for examination and isnoni
Nv, iouslv failed. To his family, anNio'
~ To hear of his success, he telegraph'
49, fins. organization splendid; proie
I'D sors enthusiastic. They wish ior SC
nor ond in october "-Tit-Bits.
ad He-.Do you remember when first
,ve metq The dew was on the grass
M air was full of summer scents, and
She-"Yes; and now there's no summ'
.,v no dew no grass and no sense. by
~. way. have you heard OF my ehsas
- mentr'-Detroit Free Press.
She Ethel-"oh. dear mel | don't knC
what 10 think. Algy asked me Ia
night If wouldn't like to have son
sbo thing around the house that l eo1
love. and that would love me- Edit
,o. "WenY" Ethel-"Well, l don't kn'
orc whether he means himself or wnet.
he is thinking of buying me dog
Puck.
Mrs. Yeast-'I wish could THINK
Ia, something to keep my husband al no !,
ler. at nights" Mrs. Puncheon-1et
bicycle" Mrs. Yeast-"That wol
take him out more than ever. NJ
-eu Puncheon-"Oh. no. II wouldn't!
o .n husband got one the day before yes'
.ne day and the doctor says ne won ue