The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-08-28

-------
Heller hair is like sunshine! She
Ye-es; it's brighter sonic ~ tys than
others.-Puck.
She-I can sympathize with you.
was married once myself. He-But you
weren't married to woman.-Tid-
Bits.
She Coming up suddenly)-Where
did that wave go? He coughing and
strangling)-I swallowed it.-Dublin
World.
Melicent-Aren't bicycle lamps an
moving? Miriam (vexatiously)-Yes;
mine goes out every time l run into
anybody!EPuck.
Dora-He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like. Cora-What
was that? Dora-Another mans arm.
Detroit Free Press.
Nevada Justice (solemnly)-I now
pronounce you husband and wife
shake hands-take your corners-and
may the best man win!APuck.
"Now, they speak of her as an up-to-
date girl. What do you understand by
thatT "My boy, girl that is up to
date is up to anything."-Puck.
Flint see where Boston Is going to
spend over 100000 on those pneu-
matte tubes. Flam-That's a lot Of
money to blow in.-Boston Post.
1.-THE world owes every man a liv-
ing" eyes, and we don't get it col
lected until we have almost learned to
do without it."-Chicago Record.
"Would you consider it proper to pre-
cede the father Of your sweetheart
down stairs?" SIT may be proper, but
1t isn't always safe."-Yale Record.
$50, Dorothy is not going to marry
Mr.. Scrymser?" mo; she kept talking
to him about books he hadn't read, and
he got irritated and broke the engage
ment."-Puck.
The Eootpad-Only q dollar and a
quarter? Come, where's the rest Of yer
money? Mr.. Isaacs-Mein frendt, it's
in real esdate undt it's in my vife's
name!Puck.
'There are six necessities, you know,
for happy marriage" what are
they?' "First, a good husband" "And
the others?" "The other five are mon
ey"-La Caricature.
do you think, Harry, you could in
duce one or two boys to come to Sum
day school?" II could bring one,' he
replied; "de udder fellers in our alley
kin lick me."-Dublin World.
GLOW is it that Wilson comes to the
club every night now? 1t used to be
that we couldn't get him here once q
month";" "Oh, he married last fall and
settled down."-Detroit Free Press.
"Theaters ought to be seated with
the women all on one side, and the men
on the other" 'Why?" $50 that when
men go out between the acts they can
tramp on each others toes."-Detroit
Free Press.
Wiggs-The doctor told Browns wife
to give him whisky If he had another
attack Of the fever and ague. Wages
Has he had relapse? Wiggs-Well,
he's been shaking for the drinks all the
acknowledging Journal.
'Your wife has such liqrid voice.
said Mr.. Fosdick to Mr.. Tiff. Yes,
that's a pretty good name for it." re-
piled Mr.. Tiff. Mr.. Fosdick looked up
inquiringly, and Mr.. Tiff added: ''1t
never dries up, you know."-Harpcr's
Bazaar.
Artie-Darling, you have no idea how
anxious l was while you were coming
down the rope ladder. was SO afraid
you had not fastened it securely
above. Susie-You needn't have been
alarmed, dear. Papa tied the knot for
me-Detroit Free Press.
Walker Home-I think 1 will get a
lob wild one o. desc concerns what
! makes amat'ur photygraf outfits. Odor-
Gus Oliyer-What? An go to work
Walker Homework? Nav! All III
have to tackle will be to do de rest,
an dat will JUS suit me.-Detroit Free
Press.
George-I just saw you coming from
the conservatory with Miss Goldie.
Rather handsome girl, but too reserved
for me. Thomas--Yes, l just reserved
her for life.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Ever notice what an even temper
johnson has2 No matter Low much he
is disagreed with, he never gets an
cry" mo; but what deep pity be
has for the other fellow