davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
The emperor Studies English.

The North China Daily News an
nullnces that the Chinese Emperor has
taken up seriously the study of the En-
glish language This fact may have
momentous consequences for the world;
the consequences have already been
momentous for a certain taOtai manda-
rim named Lii This man happened to
90 to the imperial court with an intro
duction and recommendation from the
viceroy Lui, of Nanking, who in par
ticular vouched for his large knowl-
edge of foreign affairs.
At the audience with the Emperor,
his Majesty asked the taotai if he
knew English. Being ashamed to ac-
knowledge that he did not, and not sus-
pecting that the Emperor had enough
knowledge of the language to be able to
discover his Ignorance, the taotai an
swered that he did. Thereupon thg
Emperor said to him in English:
"How do you do? Are you welli
Thank you Sit down."
All this was spoken rapidly, with fine
Manchu accent and infections. The
Door taotai had not the slightest idea
what the Emperor was driving at. and
could only "kowtow that is, PROSTATE
himself and rub his forehead on the
floor AS soon as he lifted his head
again, the Emperor said:
"Are you well? Thank you. Have
you been in England? How is your
honorable father?'
The answer was another kowtow
more athletic, if possible, than the
other.
'How do you DO? What is your hon
orable name? Thank you. Sit down
Have you been in England"
The Emperor's English vocabulary
was SO limited that, In order to keep
up his end of the conversation, he had
to repeat his phrases. 1t was all one
to the taotai. He kowtowed with In
creasing abjectness, and almost scrap
ed the skin from his forehead. lie
knew thSt something was wrong, and
when the Emperor, growing suspicious.
yelled in Manchu, slave. Why dc
Won not answer me IN EngEsh!' l..
was cOmpelIcl " N"iAlN"" ''i''' ~ w.
NOT know Il word of the language.
Then he kowtowed some more, and
was hidden to rise and leave the audi
ence chamber in disgrace. AS pun
ishment. he was commanded by tile
Emperor to keep an English book uil-
der his nose for three years, and al
the end of that time to come TO tlle
Emperor again, presumably prepared
by that time to converse with his
Majesty in English.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Regulating Sailing of Cows.

Salt in moderate amounts is doubt
less an aid to digestion. The craving
for it is natural with all herbivof0us
animals, and is especially strong in
those that chew the cud. If cows ore
not salted regularly the cream from
their milk will not make butter so
quickly. This is possibly because lack
Of salt allows food in the stomach to
ferment before it can be digested This
always causes fever and increases the
caseine in the milk. The same result is
caused by the change in fall from green
feed to dry. Cows should be salteG at
least twice week. II is better still to
keep some where they always can have
access to it. They will not eat too
much for their good.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Pruning Young Pear Trees.

Much depends on how Il beginning Is
made In pruning pear trees. 1t is for
this reason best to take them at not
more than two years from the bud,
and If very dwarf habit is desired a
one-year stock from the graft is better.
The thing to most persistenly fight,
either in dwarfs OF standards, is the
tendency of the central shoot to take
most of the sap This means large
wood growth and little fruiting. On
the other hand. a little pirching back
OF those shoots that grow too fast,
which will always be the uppermost,
will send the sap to branches lower
down, and these will fill with fruit
spurs and begin to bear the following
year The pear tree does not need
high manuring. Give it plenty of min
eral fertilizers, and any ground that
will grow good grain or corn crops will
be found fertile enough.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Farm Notes.

Potatoes nearly always do we'll ON
clover sod land, and are much less Ma-
bic to disease than when grown with
stable manure Land that has been In
clover should produce good crop Of
potatoes without the application Of
manure
Why not have some competent man
legally appointed In every community
to spray trees and destroy insect pests
and fungus diseases, taxing each man
for the number of trees grown? The
thrifty man would then no longer suffer
from the habits Of his negligent neigh
bOr
1t is a favorable Indication for sheep
that the supply Of rams of the mutton
breeds is below the demand. This points
to the fact that farmers are becoming
convinced that sheep will pay in the
forms Of mutton and lamb, and that
wool will be but a secondary considera
ton in sheep raising.
Every sheep farm should be well pro-
vided with gates; bars are dangerous
as well UOO NftSucI I'LL I'll ul1llG LII Nfs-
ting down and putting them up There
Is a great risk when sheep are crowd
ing through bars, only partly let down,
that leg may be snapped. A good
light gate may be made for so cents
more cost than a set of bars. and if
properly hung will last a great many
years.
Buckwheat is regarded as a crop fol
poor land, but it does best under ia.
vOrable conditions The blossoms pro
vide excellent forage for the bees to
work upon, and it is also regarded as a
very appropriate crop for plowing I'm
der 1t is a summer crop and shades
the land, the yield Of grain, however,
seldom paying for the seed and labor
on poor land, it being used mostly fof
turning under while in blossom
There is nothing better to make
young pigs grow than a patch of peas,
into which they may be turned an hour
or so every day until the peas become
so scarce that all day is required to
satisfy them. They furnish the same
kind of nutrition that milk does, and at
q much cheaper rate. When thus fed
their frames will grow rapidly, and
they can be given corn feed later in the
season, without the injury that comes
to hogs summered on grass and clover
and suddenly changed to corn.
1t costs about 13 cents to send bush.
ell Of wheat to Liverpool from Chicago.
Fifty years ago the cost of sending C
bushel Of wheat from sections near
PHILADELPHIA now reached in an hol
by rail was much more. With improved
modes and facilities for transportation
distance has been obliterated and The
market extended until shipments de.
pend on time and not the number OF
miles. Grain is cheaper because it can
be produced at less cost with machines
and is more easily shipped. The sOlu-
ton of the problem is to grow larger
crops per acre.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Cats and Poultry

When there are occasional disappear
ances of young chickens, especially at
night, it is most likely that the family
cat will prove to be the thief. Cats
are treacherous animals, and cannot
be depended upon. The same cat that
during the day will allow little chick
ems to eat from the same dish will also
at night kill and eat the chickens with
as hearty relish as their owner would
eat them when cooked. But the lack
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Bottom Heat for Planting.

The difficulty with early spring plant
ing is always because the soil is too
cold. This causes the seed to germinate
too slowly. But so soon as the seed
begins to sprout warmth is generated
by the act. Carbonic acid gas is de-
velOped, and this aids in making the
soil warmer. Hence the advantage OF
putting some manure under the seed
when it is planted early, SO as to hasten
termination. There is the further ad
vantage of doing this early in spring
because the abundant rains that fall
then make the manure soluble, and
greatly increase it's effectiveness.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

OF moral sense may be partially sep
piled If the slightest interference eSsea
poultry by the cat secures for her the
chastisement she needs. If this is done
while they are young, the cat may be
taught to discriminate between birds
which equally with mice are her xat-
ural prey, and young chickens. Poul-
trymen who have an admiXture of
game blood in their fowls do not need
to give their cats any lessons to let
yonug chicks alone. If the mother hen
cannot fight off the intruder on her
brood, her call will quickly bring to
her assistance the game rooster, who
finds in such scrimmages just the kind
of excitement he wants.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

The man who immerses himself in
business that he may accumulate vast
property. or that his family may live
luxurious and idle lives, has no right
to plead want of time for other claims.
1t is not true that he cannot comply
with them. but that he has chosen not
to do so. The woman who, absorbed in
a round of gaiety and society. declares
that she has no time to train her chill
dren and superintend her household, is
uttering an excuse as vain as It is
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

How many times will the courts be
called upon to decide the responsibility
of telegraph companies for damages re-
suiting from the imperfect or delayed
transmission of kilograms? 1t seems
as though the dockets always held
some such suits. The companies fall
back upon their arbitrary conditions
of sending, printed upon the back of
their blanks. but these have long since
been decided to be no excuse for either
mis-sending or delay. a telegram sent
from a Boston packing-house one day
ordering its agent not to buy hogs was
not delivered till the next day. after
he had purchased several car loads.
The telegraph company held that its
liability was limited to the price of the
message, but the appellate court very
properly decided that this is not the
law. Nor would the repetition demand
ed by the conditions" have tended
to prevent the mistake or to protect
the company from damages. There is
nothing in the law which exempts a
telegraph company from damages
arising from the mistakes of its en-
ployes any more than any other private
corporation.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

of American heiresses with impecuni-
Gus titles abroad. 1t is the most conspi-
cuOus and offensive Outgrowth of Amer
lean vulgarity, and in an overwhelming
majority of the cases the women who
have thus made commerce of the holi-
est relation of life have suffered the
humiliation and disgrace they deserve.
There are exceptions to the rule. but
the exceptions are no more than are
needed 10 prove the rule
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
WHY lie Was Sick.

Heidi you know that in some parts
of China pigs are harnessed to wagons!
She-That's nothing. Here in this
country pigs often ride in the street
cars, occupying seats and paying fares
Just the same as men. Do you chew
tobacco?
But he had swallowed it and had to
get off at the next crossing.-CIevelan
Leader
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
THE RIGHT SPIRIT.
Soldiers Gave God the Glory for a
Victory.


Victory.
Writing in Harper's Magazine about
the jameson raid upon the Beers OF
South Africa, Mr.. Poultney Bigelow
gave this episode:
when the Beers had silenced the fir
Ing of Jameson's men, and had saved
their country from what they feared
might prove an invasion disastrous to
their independence, they did not cele-
brate the event by cheers or bonfres.
They fell upon their knees and follow
ed the prayers offered by their elders:
they gave praise to Almighty God for
having protected them; they searched
their hearts and prayed to be cleansed
from the spirit of boasting; they pray
ed for Jameson and his men, that they
might be guided by the light of justice
and Christian fellowship this they
prayed while some of the dead lay un-
buried about them"
When jameson surrendered, moth
Ing could exceed the kindness of the
people, both Dutch and English, who
came up afterward. Milk, brandy, meat
said DR.. Hathaway, one of Jameson's
surgeons 1--WE were nothing but pi-
rates." he added, land richly deserved
/ hanging-every one of us!'
Mr. Bigelow, commenting upon this
| forgetfulness, apparently, of the Beers
of everything except their duties as
Christians, says:
This is the nearest example I know
of in history of soldiers in the field act
ing practically on the precept, Love
| your enemies
If Mr. Bigelow should ever visit Lich-
| field Cathedral, he would see there
memorial window to Bishop Selwyn
commemorating the deed of New
Zealand Christian. He was an officer
Of the Maoris-one of DR.. Selwyn's con-
verts while missionary bishop of that
island-and had taken up arms with
his people to resist the encroachments
Of the English.
The British made an attack on a ma
tive fort, and were repulsed with great
slaughter. During the attack this of
ficer, hearing the groans of wounded
Englishman, crept out from the fort,
and crawling Oh his hands and knees,
carried cruise of water to his enemy.
The man proved to be a British cap
tain, and the water saved his life
The next day another assault on the
fort was made, and was successful.
The Maori Christian was slain. A New
Testament was found on his person,
and Romans xiii, 20, was underlined
with blood, as If his fingers had traced
the words: ''If thine enemy hunger,
feed him; if he thirst, give him drink. +"
A fort-the story is also told in Bish-
op Selwyn's biography-which COM
manded the channel of a river was so
invested by the Maoris that the En-
glish garrison was near starvation.
One morning they beheld a native ca
noe bearing a flag of true floating down
to the fort, and at some distance behind
several other canoes. On landing, they
were found to contain provisions from
the Maori officer in command of the
besieging force, and with them came
| this message:
Therefore if thine enemy hunger
feed him; if he thirst, give him drink" ;"
We wonder if the English officer
commanding that garrison ever fired
| another shot against these Christian
enemies.-Youth's Companion.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

The common expression, 'Time is
money" is used to heighten a sense of
the value of time, as if its chief and
best use was to earn money, and here
In lay the only reason for not wasting
it. Those who thus reason buy gold
often at a fearful price. They give
for it their whole time, which is their
life. and sacrifice the many other uses
to which it may be put.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
LiNIif GiXera

"Um-ah," said the Rev. Mr. Wilgus.
as he looked over the scanty missionary
collection. Il asked this congregat ton
to aid in the illumination of the be-
nighted heathen mind And l must
say that such lot of light givers it has
never before been my experience to
meet" t."-Indianapolis Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
No Com c-npera Bandits.

$50 you were bound and gagged by
bandits while in Italy, were you"
asked the garrulous person. Regular
comic-opera bandits, ehY'
mo, sir" said the traveller. 'There
was nothing of the comic-opera style
about them. The gags they used were
all new."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

Two Frenchmen fought duel near
Paris, and one received slight scratch
across the back of his hand. Two
Texans met in the road the other day
near Sweet Home, and there were six
bullets in each mans body when the
undertaken took charge of the affair.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

The Cleveland Plain Dealer prints an
elaborate editorial on New Jersey
Spinters Up in Arms" We haven't
read the editorial yet, but it is evident
that the New Jersey spinsters act just
as other spinsters do whenever oppor-
funity offers.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
There Was No Panic.

First Thespian-At our last stand the
theater took fire in the middle of the
third act.
Second Thespan-Was there a panic
in the audience?
First Thespian-Oh, no. The usher
woke him up and told him it was time
to go home.-Yale Record.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Not q Common Carr;ar

George, wish you'd leave this little
package at the express office"
Il carry a bundle? l guess not. Be-
sides, I've got to lug both my tires and
a handle-bar down to the repair shop"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
,T;s Ofta, rLz

BillingS-I heard Jameson make n
statement yesterday that surprised me
very much. He said he didn't have q
dollars worth of property in the
world"
Tompkins-Were you alone with him
ct the time?
Billings-No; We were in a crowded
street car
Tompkins-I thought so. He was
probably sitting next to a tax assessor.
Cleveland Leader.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
An Innnirx Answered.

"What is the argument of this play?"
asked the old-fashioned gentleman, as
he came out after the first act.
"The argument?" repeated the man.
ager. There isn't any worth speaking
of just now. That usually happens on
salary day. y."-Washington Star.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

If Miss Lillian Russell Leonardo Bra
ham-SolomOn-Perugini really has de-
cided to secure another divorce she
should see to it that every marriage
license she uses henceforth has at least
six divorce coupons attached.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Saving Something,

Cholly-My dear fellow, I do wish
you'd lend me that ten l asked for. It's
a case of life or death.
Tom-How can that be?
Cholly-Why, I've got to pay five of
it to Algy or my credit will be killed.
Harpers Bazar
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
STAYED Too Lunr.

Good Samaritan-Poor fellow. Your
face is all battered out Of shape. Why
did that man knock you down?
The Unfortunate One--Because l
didn't 90 away before he told me that
he had seen the Observation-Disclosures
Journal
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Dead in Love.

Miss Manchester-Do you know that
after Ellen refused Mr.. Espianade he
actually committed suicide?
Miss sMonterey-Really? Dead in love
with her, isn't he?-Pittsburg Chron'
icle-Telegraph.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Tb. suner,titious Man.

Il am going TO take my money out
of the Solidstone bank" said the man
who is slave 10 a belief in signs
WHAT said the other man. 1T
isn't shaky, surely"
Not that / know. Bui l just found
out that their cashiers name is Skip
with."-Cincinnat Enquirer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

The proprietor of a brand of liver
pills has bought the celebrated London
review. the Academy. 1t is pity he
cannot purchase the Spectator, the
Athenaeum and several other British
publications and administer his nos
trum to them.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

For the first time in its history New
Mexico is to have a Governor of Mex
lean parentage. Miguel A. Otero, who
has just been appointed to that position
by the President, although born and
educated in this country, had Mexican
parents. He has lived in the territory
for many years and is said to be thor
oughly acquainted with the needs of
its DeoDie
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Looking After His Deposit,
@sfTFE1zsE

Banker discovering a burglar in the
act of opening his safe)-Hold on!
What are you doing there?
Burglar-Dont make such row, old
man. l only wanted to see if my de-
posit was here all right. No one can
trust banks nowadays.-Comic Cuts.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
The Prob1em Explained,

II WONDER" said the young man who
Is able but exceedingly loquacious,
"why is it that genius is not appret
ciated until after he is dead"
Perhaps" was the cold-blooded an.
swer, "it's because in 50 many cases he
insists on boring his friends up to the
time of that ."-Washing gton
Star
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
No Doubt About II.

The Best Man-Now, brace up, old
chap. The ordeal will soon be over.
The GrOom-I know it. But some
way l have a premonition that I'm go
ing to lose control of myself.-New
York World,
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

"a dangerous counterfeit 500 bill is
in circulation in this city," says the
Denver Post. 1t would leave train
of heart disease cases in its wake if it
appeared out this way, counterfeit or
no counterfeit.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
He Knew Some.

Bobbie-Mother, were all the bad
men destroyed by the flood?
MOther-Yes, my son.
Bobbie (who has just received a
whipping from his father)-When is
there going to be another f1ood?-Tit
Bits
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
ResusC;tntn~ Him.

A policeman was asked by a coroner
whether he had taken any steps by way
of attempt to resuscitate a man on
whom an inquest was being held.
Yes" said the consta bic; L searched
his pockets. ."-Household Words.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

Hell had my picture taken along
with Nero, nay big st. Bernard, you
know. May have the pleasure Of pre-
senting you with a copy?
She--Oh, guess so. Ialways did ad-
mire handsome dog.-Fun.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
It's Use.

Everything has its use," remarked
the philosopher.
Except the vermiform appendix" "
replied the man who does not philoso
phize.
THAT has it's use, too"
'In what way?"
1T gives physicians with|an investi-
gatlve turn of mind an excuse to carve
their patients. Judge.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
A Cocjefy Man.

Villiers-You say Mr.. Field is social
leader; a society man?
McSwat of I.asthope-Society man!
You list bet. Why, he belongs TO the
knights of Labor, Sons of America,
odd Fellows, Grand Army of the Re
public, Masons, Patriotic Sons, an
whole lot of others. l guess he is So
ciety man.-Philadelph North Ameri-
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
characterization.

'I hope you appreciate the fact, sir
that in marrying my daughter you
marry a large-hearted, generous girl"
II do, sir with emotion), and l hope
she inherits those qualities from her
father. Harlem Life.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Requires Strength.

Fat Lady-Im surprised to see a
strong man like you begging.
Robust Beggar-It takes a strong
man, ma'am, to hold up persons like
yourself-Harper's Bazaar.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

by the use of the last. The device con-
sists of tong arrangement, with
ring and ball at the eXtremities BY
this means it is possible to get into the
very toe of the SHOE or any other part
as we'll
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

The city of Americus, Ga, has
bought a brass band outfit and several
aldermen are learning to play. After
all, this may prove to be cheap way
to secure immunity from the tramp
ra,,icon0a
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Extremes

Mrs. Petituns Gust moving)-You
say you want your study in the top
Of the house. dear. Then where shall
| have tie nursery?
PetitunS-Better have it down cellar.
New York Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

Take It all in all, the Sultan certain
ly is one of the most promising rulers
this age has produced. But his per-
formances do not maintain a parity
with his promises.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

If Prof. Barnard's air ship is Under
perfect control, as he asserts, 1t should
lose no time in breaking itself of the
freight car habit in coming back.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Historic.

81 hear Miss Eyangate's new play IS
a historic ona"
why notf She's getting somewhat
historic herself. f."-Cincinnau Enquirer
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Ont of Rreath,

Mamma-What are you doing, Willy?
Willy pump in hand)-My bithycle's
out of bref, an so I'm giving him
thOme mOre.-Fun.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

A Philadelphia firm advertising bath
ing suits offers "a beautiful grade at
S1.SS; in ordering send money order and
2-cent stamp" The stamp, presumably,
is wanted as a wrapper for the goods.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
A Burning Affair.

Morgan-I understand you had a
pretty hot time last night?
Bradley-You bet! My throat is still
parched.-Philadelp North Ameri
can.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Proved.

She-Old Mr.. GotroX is backing his
ward, Miss Limelights, in her latest
starring venture.
He-Well, always said he was her
guardian angel-New York Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

The late Shah of Persia is said to
have had LIB wives. In view Of this
fact who can look upon his assassina-
ton as an undesirable alternative?
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
No Advantage Taken.

"Do you really adhere to the one
price rule?"
"We do said the merchant. "a
young married man can buy as cheapiy
Of us as the most experienced matron. '
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

Bob Fitzsimmons Is to appear as
blacksmith in play which is now be-
ing written for him. This IS ever so
much better than to appear in it as an
actor.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Both Waya.

Rumpus-Why IS Primpus using such
terrible language?
Bumpus-He swore off smoking.
Rumpus-Well?
Bumpus-Now he is swearing on
again by cursing himself for being fool
enough to quit.-Pittsburg News.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11
Great Difficulty.

She-Does Penman find any difficulty
in writing poetry?
He-I think he must. He always
uses a fountain pen.-Yonkers4 States
man.
The Winslow mail., 1897-09-11

1t is said by the Philadelphia In
quirer that we are to have an onion
trust, and it is scarcely necessary to
add it VIII be in bad odor.