Orange County observer. [volume] (Hillsborough, N.C.) 1880-1918, 1897-12-09

Perils OF a Great Capitalization in
the study-When Dinners Late. Etc.
'Tis always morning somewhere IN the
world
All by what cruel fate this globe ia twirled.
Forever somewhere-oh. the bitter cup
sad women try 10 get their husbands nj.
Chicago Record. !
The Older the Better.
Old Gotrox-''Am I. with all my
millions, too old for you?"
Miss Mabel-"Oh. no. That would
be impossible.
Distraction in the study.
Professor-Margaret, please take
the cat out of the room. cannot nave
it making such a noise while I am at
work Where is it?"
Margaret-'Whv, sir, you are sit
ting on it. Boston Post.
Another Matter.
Jack-''Is Charlie man to be
Cholly-''Id trust him with my
life
Jack-"Oh, yes, know. But would
you trust him with s.. Brooklyn
Life.
Not Ready.
Customer Are my clothes readv:'
Tailor vet. sir
Customer-"Buty you said you would
have them done if you worked all
night.
Tailor-''Y but I didn't work all
night. Harper Bazaar.
Perils of n Great City.
Jenkins says bicycles are more
dangerous than trolley cars.
Has he had any disastrous expert
ences?'
Yes; he got hit by trolley car
while his head was turned watching a
girl on wheel Chicago Record.
When Dinners Late.
Grandpa Don't get scared, Willie,
the tiger is about to be fed; that's
what makes him jump UP and roar
So
Willie (casily)--"Oh, / amt afraid
of him, grandpa; papa's S the same way
when his meals amt ready. Tit
Bits.
Frightened For Moment.
He-"They say that George Hart
ley has been talking good deal be-
hind your back lately
She turning pale)-"Td like to
know what he's been saying.
He-"Oh, you know well enough.
1t was all done on his tandem
Then she drew long sight OF relief.
cleveland Leader.
why lie Liked 1t.
Visitor-'' ''You don mean to tell nc
that you have lived in this out-ofthe-
way place for fifteen years."
Citizen-''I have, for certainty =
Visitor I'm surprised / can't
see what you can find here to keep
you busy
Citizen Neither can !. That $
why l like it. Richmond Despatch.
Not Wasting Room.
"What | want. said the man who
was talking about taking a flat, us
some place where the rooms are big
enough for me to turn around III.
Certainly" replied the agent.
THAT can be easily arranged, as you
are not an unusually large man.
Stand up. please, and let me get your
exact measurements. - Washington
Star.
The American Plan.
tranger-''Five dollars day al
this hotel. eli? Well, here's the
money. BY the way. hadn't ! better
leave my pocket-l:ook in the safe until
want II: If so. I'll hand il over te
you
Clerk Um-if you expect 10 ge'
anything 10 eat, il would be better r
hand your pocke; book to the heaf
waiter.
How Ie Made the Sale.
Agent-"Can't / sell you card O
patent pants buttonss"
Miss Ancient jindignantly)-'Sir,
am a single lady. and
Agent ''Ah. madam. I cant beiisvl
that lady Of your attractions eoul'
possibly he single. It's shrewd va.
Of yours To get rid II ne,
Miss Ancient fsimpering} y Ii TAX
dozen cards -Irdge. -
Hi. Objection tn Erotiae- Wa,tand.
How did you enjoy tie sermon tn
mornlng:'
| Only nid,ilinr have one obiss
/ .ion - Brother Nay.aai He has
, trick OF lowering his voice when hs !
very much in earnest, aal then burst
ing suddenly into .o@@ t1st IS alaaos
shou.. And when lie does .aai h
always wakes ms NJ -C1iAgo Tx'
buue.
The Minister SALARY.
Deacon 1A.ua. We've sa!ie
again this yea. II Do-i-:c- caa
| raise Lali your SAY