The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-03-14
HBSENT-MINDED FOLKS.

HBSENT-MINDED FOLKS.
Stories about the ABSENT minded can
scarcely be credited unless one has had
personal experience with such people a
friend who was expecting company TO
dinner at o'clock. after seeing that every
thing was perfectly arranged, went up
stairs to dress She lighted the gas, took
a BATH and-went TO bed She was aroused
from sleep by the ringing of the doorbeli
Suddenly she remembered that she had not
come upstairs TO retire, but 10 make her
toilet to receive her guests, and should at
that moment be in the parlor ready TO
greet them. For once in her life she
dressed for dinner if she were trying TO
catch train. On another occasion she
sought her room at bedtime. When ready
to retire she felt as if there were something
else to be done. but could not think what
it was. She was in the habit of removing
her false teeth at night. Instead of doing
so she found herself vainly attempting 10
take off her nose! This was worse than
the woman who lighted a match, and.
knowing something had to be turned on,
held it under the faucet instead of to the
gas jet.
The experience of having company ring
ing the bell before one is dressed was not
so aggravating, however, as the case of a
gentleman who arranged to give elab-
crate dinner TO a numerous and distin-
guished company. The appointed evening
arrived, the dinner was ready to be served.
but no one arrived. After waiting in vain
for an hour the would-be host went to his
room, and, CHANGING TO open a drawer,
found the whole bundle of invitations,
which he had forgotten to send out
1 know a clergyman who, having just
moved into a parsonage, answered the
doorbell himself. The caller inquired who
lived in the house now. The minister
thought and thought but could not re-
member his own name. AT last, glancing
at a sheet of paper he held in Lis hand.
upon which he had been trying his pen by
writing his name, he was helped out of his
difficulty and announced his name. This
similar experience to one of Sidney
Smiths. who knocked at door in London.
rs Mrs. Brown at homer" he inquired.
"Yes, sir. What name shall say?'
He looked in the servants face, aston
ished. What name? What name? Aye,
that is the question. What is my name?"
He did not know for the moment whether
he was layman or dissenter, but finally re-
membered that he was Sidney Smith His
friend, Lord Dudley, was equally absent
minded, for he once invited Smith TO meet
his own self. Dine with me to-day; dine
with me. 1 will get Sidney Smith to meet
you Smith acknowledged the temptation
held out, but said he was engaged else
where.
The absent-minded clergyman of the par
sonage mentioned above had another an
noying experience. All his life he had been
accustomed to repeat the child's prayer
Now L lay me down TO sleep upon re-
firing. He was once called on very unex-
pectedly TO say grace a large dinner
party. Entirely forgetting the situation he
began his blessing with the words Now L
lay me down 10 sleep This was even
worse than the who went jogging
along the road until he came TO the turn
pike. What is to pay?" Pay sir. for
what" Why. for my horse" Your
horse, sir. what horse? There is no horse -
mo horse?"-God bless me- said he look
ing down between his legs / thought / was
on horseback"
Bishop Burnet was very much off his
guard on one occasion with the DUCHESS OF
Marlborough after her husbands dfgrace.
He compared the great general to Belle
sarins. But how come il he was so de-
tested?" the duchess inquired.
'Oh, madam was the absent minded re-
ply, The had such a birthstone of a wife
The duchess was once pressing the duke
to take a medicine. With her usual warmth
she said I'll be hanged if it do not prove
servicable. Dr. Garth. who was absent
minded, said: do take It. then. my lord
duke, for it must be of service in one way
or another
Sir Robert Hamilton, author of a once
| celebrated work on finance, was the most
| absent-minded of men. for he would run
against COW and beg her pardon, and was
seen TO pull off his hat TO his own wife in
| the street and apologize for not having the
| pleasure of her acquaintance.
1t is very sorry work when an actor is
| absent-minded. Kemble used TO be put to
! the awkward necessity OF reminding his
| assassin-in an undertone-that il was time
| To stab him.
More stories are told of the absent mind
edness of ministers than. perhaps. any
| other class.
clergyman going to church heard a
| Snowman crying. Walk i'm without loss of
time All alive alive. no." The words
rang in his head so that when he began to
read the service and came 10 the words in
| the first verse-'And doth that which is
| lawful and right he shall save his soul
| alive" he cried out i'm a loud voice Shall
save his soul alive-All alive. Alive. ho-'
| to the establishment OF the audience
Orleans, Ill. NJ. +. DRURY.