Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-03-18

w hat 10 yOui hS w Sill - h@@~-~-
call her Brooklyn" "WhyT "She
smashes so many plates."-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Prospective .Sultor-"Sir, love your
daughter" Her Father-"Well, don't
come to me with your troubles."-
Brooklyn Life.
First Tramp b'leeve de Indians
eats dogs. Second Tramp-Do they?
Well, den, I'd like ter put dem onter
some dogs l know.-Puck.
n Premature Demand.-The Footpad
Yer money or yer life. The Count
-But-but, sair, shall not married be
until re next month.-Puck.
The industrious workman's fingers
fairly flew. But what else could he
have expected? The saw was run"
ming at full speed.-Incianapolis Jour.
nal.
Brown-"Jones doesn't forget his
Alma Mater" Robinson-"He doesn't.
Ell" Brown-"No, indeed! He's try
ing to teach his baby the college YELL"
Puck.
Fair American latter graphic de-
scription Of an English fox-hunt-
Now, tell me, captain, does the poor ami
NAL go in circles round the island?-
Sketch.
why do you think that man on the
front seat is bachelorT Because he
isn't trying to fiirt with the pretty
young woman across the aisle."-Cleve-
land Leader.
Stage News.-"Did you know that
Henry Irving had sprained one of his
knees?" Eyes; now he will have to
make gestures with his arms."-Chi-
cago Record.
Never touched him: BostOnian-
"Why is it that you Chicagoans always
say, How is things?'a" ChicageanT
because we want to know. That's
whyr'-Puck.
The fiancee-'T would like to see the
program for your bachelors dinner"
| The Fiance-''The-a-the menuT' The
Fiancee (severely)-"No, sir; the pro-
| gram."-Puck.
"Hear about that American young
| woman paying one million dollars for
! a cigarette holder? "Get out!' Fact.
/ believe it also had title or some
thing. cincinnati Enquirer.
Dir. Wallace = These theater hat
! bills"
Mrs. Wallace-By the way, dear, l
suppose you will find one in your mail
to-morrow.-Cincin Enquirer.
Mrs. Watts-'Tsn't 1t n good deal of
annoyance to get your meals at such
irregular hours?" Hungry Higgins
"The irregular hours amt so bad as
the irregular days."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Mrs. Wardle-It's dreadful to be dis
appointed in love. Mr.. Wardle-There
Is something a great deal worse than
that. "What, for instance? ITO be
disappointed in marriage. odds and
Ends.
First Kentuckian-"I understand the
lynching Of that man who murdered
his wife was very great affair" Sec
ond Kentuckian-"Oh, yes. Recent
death in the family, you know."-De-
troit Journal.
Flannigan-"How'd yes git tn black
owe. Casey?" Casey-"Oi shipped an
landed on me back" Flannigan-"But,
me good mon, y'r face amt located on
y'r back" Casey (gloomily)-"No, ma
thur wuz Finnigan."
Wont you take this seat" said the
gentleman in the car, rising and lifting
his hat. mo, thank you," said the girl
with the skates over her arm; 1--WE
been skating, and I'm tired of sitting
down."-Yonkers Statesman.
First Tragedian-T hear Dryleigt
has a great scheme for going to Swift
zerland and joining the Oberammergau
troupe" Second Tragedian-"He al
ways was for making a holy show OF
himself."-New York Press.
Museum Proprietor-"What's the
matter with the Blind Checker Play
err? He's been losing games all day.
Manageable hasn't been just right
for a month. I'm afraid his eyesight II
failing him."-Detroit News.
"Are you going to Chawlie Biddle'.
suppah? It's in the Seeley style, yor
know, and awfully shocking?" rs h,
going to have dancers?" mo; but he'll
pass awound cigahwette pictuahs
don't you know."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Mrs. Bray-"I never saw more per
feet acting than Miss Spots ut tina
aaateur performance" Mr.. Bray
ssShe wasn't in the cast, was shew Mrs
Bray-"No; she sat In the front seat
and looked as though she enjoyed it,
Philadelphia Call.
Editor-in- chief-"How are you goin,
to lead off that woman's column !?
Managing Editor--"Under the caption
'Woman's Corner SIR" Editor-in
chief-"Well, IL you do, don't forget (,
run in cut of the globe just above it.
New York Press.
Aunt Maria Cat the tbeater)-"Why d
all those men rush out In breathles
haste the moment the curtain falls?
Uncle Henry-"Just wait till they com
in again and you'll understand it.
When they returned there was not
breathless one among them.-Bosto
Transcript.
She-You won't object to having dea
mamma live with us after we are msr
ried, will you? He "a young DOCTOR
Not at all. In fact, she Will be mos
welcome. at Is so good of you to sa
soT' "Not at all. You see. she Is n
ways ailing, and really need some
/ body to experiment on."-Comic Cut.