davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
An Ingenious Machine.

For a long time railroad companies
have been endeavOring to find an eco
rOmical, accurate and practical regis
ter. A most ingenious machine has
just been invented, which manufac-
lures. prints and cuts the ticket auto
matically on one side, while on the
other side it registers the number of
the ticket, its destination and the price.
A simple addition of the numbers lined
on this band gives the total of the
amounts which the receiver has regis
tered during the day. The machine
has been invented with the idea of pre-
venting any mistakes or fraud and of
correctly registering every day the ex-
act number of tickets sold and the
amounts received for them. The ap-
paratus is Quadrangular in form. At
the bottom of the box is small cleo
trio motor which sets a nickel plated
wheel in motion. this wheel being
placed on a level with the handle on
the left side of the apparatus. The
long cardboard bands are rolled around
three or as many wheels as are needed,
situated above the motor and below
the composing cylinder. 1t is this CYL
fnder and its wheels and its teeth, To-
Gated In the upper part of the machine.
which constitute the functional secret
OF the latter. In conjunction with the
large exterior wheel, which revolves
against the outside wall on the right
OF the apparatus, the mechanism works
secretly in the interior. On this large
different stations and the prices CT the
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Not the Right Man.

I'VE ought to get Brown on the
stump" said the campaign manager.
Wouldn't do at ALL" returned the
chairman of the finance committee.
Il guess you never heard him
speak," asserted the manager.
I've heard him dozens of times" re-
piled the chairman.
Then you must admit that he is a
good orator.
Il never heard a finer, but you
mustn't forget that We have put up a
machine candidate in municipal
campaign on platform involving ma
ional issues
What has that to do with itF'
We'll. Brown is fine orator. but a
poor liar. and you know what kind Of
campaign this will have to be-"
On second thought they engaged a
man whose conscience was on a par
with his Oratory, which was poor
Chicago Post.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

There are in existence. a number of
very odd and curious Bibles, which are
always eagerly sought for by collectors.
At a recent book sale in London q CODY
of the Mazarin Bible brought the rather
unusual sum of $4,000. The special
value which attaches to this book
comes from the fact that 1t is the first
book of any account printed from
movable type. 1t was issued in 1855
by Gutenberg. and has by some author
tiles been called the Gutenberg Bible.
1t is in two volumes. and the pages are
set in two columns each. For some
years there was much dispute as to the
first printed Bible, some experts claim.
ing that the Bamberg Bible was the
first book printed in this manner. It
is. however. admitted that the Mazarin
has established its priority of claim.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
But That Was Cycles Ago.

Il have been thinking" observed
Brutus, as he slowly kept time by kick
ing his sandal heel against the dry
goods box on which he was sitting,
what an elegant bicycle path that
Appian Way would make"
But you seem to forget" sneering-
ly replied Cassius, that bicycles
haven't been invented yet"
That was too true. Brutus was in
advance of his time. and drawing his
tOga about him. the noblest Roman of
them all relapsed into his customary
pessimistic brooding on Caesars am
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11


He WaS In . reminiscent mo62
81 have always wanted the beue q
everything" he said. ''and never got
it."
Never" she asked. reproachfully.
well. possibly, ought not to say
that" he returned. looking into her
eyes with dreamy, far-away express
sion. There was one time. I guess.
when 1 got about the best there was to
be had"
In the country" she broke in.
In the whole world" he replied.
And when was that?" she asked
with beaming face as the sun glistened
ON her wedding ring.
When got that pointer dog that
took the bench show prize"
Perhaps she was justified in getting
angry. Most wives would have thought
SO at any rate.-Chicago Post.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A Small ReVenGe.

Antique Maiden-I am sorry that
I must refuse your offer. am sure
l never intended to encourage you.
l should have thought that you might
have read that much in my face.
The Rejected am not very expert
at reading between the lines
SiftingS
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
COunting the Cost.

William Ann-Four dollars a day
with extras is pretty high for a
mountain hotel. Landlord-Buty you
should think Of the scenery. William
Ann-How much do you charge for
that?-Truth.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
George Knew . Thin< or Two.

Minnie-l thought you intended to
sit bareheaded at the theater here
after? Mamie-I did intend to but
George wouldn't let me-the jealous
thing! He was afraid all the men
behind us would fall in love with
is Journal.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
a Thoughtful Maiden.

isn't that the young man you wers
engaged to-"
Yes. auntie.'
But why did you break it,"
He believes in the germ theory and
that kissing is dangerous"
But surely that is right and proper"
In a scientist, yes; but not in hus-
band.-Life.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
His Double Duties.

Tfivvet-Ihe medicine men are
also the educators of the Indians
Dicer-How do you make that out:
Trivvet- Because after medicine
man has cured an Indian the patient
becomes a we'll red man. Exchange.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
An Addiction.

Foreign Visitor-Why does that
Chinaman say 'lats" instead of
'rats:" Hostile can't sound the
''r." Foreign Visitor-Ah, l see
brought up in New York. York
Weekly.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
W1ly 1t Is pODular.

Agleigh-l wonder why it is there
are SO many weddings to take place
in the autumn: Wagleigh-Tradi-
tiOnal custom Adam and Eve were
married round about the falL-VOgue
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A New Type-Writer.

''The type writer am introducing
has many Improvements over any
other make on the Market" said the
what, for instance9"
1T can spell correctly the most diff
cult words in the English language.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Admits Her Guilt.

Miss HighupC-I think Miss Globe
trott ought to be ashamed of herself.
She says she found the paintings Of
the old masters dreadfully stupid.
Miss Wayupp-SO do many Others.
Miss Highupp-YeS but she says So
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Too Much of q Good Thing.

JimsOn-What became of that man
who had twenty-seven medals for saw
iHg people from drowning? Dock
WOrker-He fell in one day when he
had them all on, and the weight of
'eM sunk him.-New York Weekly.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A Sssp at u Time.

F. Fledgeby-May ] be quite frank
with you. Miss Maidenbush? Miss
Maidenbush (coyly)-Not-not quite
Frank; the furtherest l can bring
myself to 20 at present will be Fran
CHS, dear Mr.. Fledgeby.-Fun.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Il see Bromley the tragedian is
posted for house chlIges at the Thes-
plan Club. He ought not to be hard
up" ''He isn't. He does that for
the sake of the advertisement"
Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A Hard Place.

First Store Boy-How do you like
your new place? Second Store Boy
Don't like it. II don't do things
right they'll get another boy and II
do do things right they'll keep me
dOin' 'em.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Professor-''In the sentence. "A poet
was mistaken for another man and
shot. what is the subject?"
Poet"
How would you make the sentence
paradoxical?"
Served him right"
But that is not a paradox"
We'll. it's dead right.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Absent-Minded.

'Oh, sir, please, l have swallowed
q PIN" exclaimed a servant girl, run
ming into her masters surgery.
s'Never mind, Mary" he replied, deep
in study, 'never mind; here's an
other" drawing one from his PIN
cuShiOn.-EXchange
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
WHY They Dislike Him.

New Boarder-l love to see
bouquet of flowers on the table. It's
so nice to have something pretty to
look at The young lady boarders
Just hate the new boarder after that.
Once Week.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Self.Eyident.

''The United States Senate isn't
what it used to be-" said Hawkins.
''The days of Seward and Webster are
gone" ''Of course they have" said
Phillips "YOu wouldn't have had
those days preserved in alcohol, would
u?"-Exchange.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Young Wife-Ye4 father always
gives away expensive things when he
makes presents Huseand-S0 dis
covered when he gave you away. And
then he went to the library to draw
q check for the monthly millinery
bill-Exchange.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Familiar Trick Explained.

One of the most familiar optical
tricks is the talking head upon table.
The illustration almost explains itself.
The apparatus consists of mirror fix
ed to the diagonally opposite legs of
the table. The mirror hides the body
of the girl and by reflection makes q
fourth table leg appear. 1t also reflects
the end of the fabric hanging down in
front of the table and makes it seem
as if part of the cloth were also hang
ing over the rear end of the table
Then, too, the mirror reflects the floor
SO that the spectator seems to be look
ing right under the table and thinks he
can see the floor beyond it. The girls
head is thrust through hole in the
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Marriage Repartee.

Mrs Marketmade-Psha Any
woman can get husband if she only
have the mind. Miss Tingleton-
And isn't it sometimes the case that
Il woman marries simply because she
hasn't a m;nd?-BOStOn Transcript.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Worse and Worse.

Vokes-Gllleland is so stupid that
many people think him wise. Meek
ison-His case is even worse than
that. He is 50 stupid that he thinks
himself wise.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Talker-"You shouldn't feel 30 sore
at Jones. He did just right In holding
you and preventing a disgraceful fight.
What IL he had let you go?"
Buffer (caressing a black eye)-
Darn it! that's what the fool did
Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Another Matter Entirely.

Mrs. Dimling Ito her daughter)-
Why are you SO censOriOuS about
Amy? The Bible says we must love
our enemies. Miss Dimling-But
she's not my enemy. She's my deal est
friend.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
More Deceit.

Mrs. GaddingtOn-"I don't like her
at all. dear. She is deceitful woman.
The other day she tried to get me to
say something against you"
Mrs. BubbingtOn-"Shed did? How?"
Mrs. Gaddington-"Why, she asked
me to tell her confidentially what
really thought of you!"-Puck.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
No Edge On the Cat.

Just look at that kitten. will you:"
said Mr.. Lushforth. What satisfac-
tion do you suppose it gets in chasing
imaginary mice?"
II don't see why you should ask me-"
said his wife, "You know more about
that sort of thing than do."-Indian-
apOlis Journal.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Father-This is a fine time for you
to come home. should say you were
'Xoing the pace" lively. SOn-N0,
sir: it was only a swinging gate
American Grocer.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A bad Drawback.

First Tramp-Who wouldn't be a
pretty little flower? 1t stays in bed
all summer. Second Tramp-YeS
but think of the water you would
have to take during that time. Ugh!
-NOrristOwn Herald.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
An lnsinuatiOn.

Dukane with a critical puf)--Did
you buy these cigars, Gaswell? Gas
we'll (surprised)-Of course. Why do
you ask? Dukane-I thought by
their Cdor you might have cabbaged
them Pittsburgh Chronicle.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
His Fate.

Mr.. Dude-I was thinking how
much l resemble your carpet-aIways
at your feet. you know. Miss Sly
Yes you are very much like my
carpet. am going to shake it soon.
Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

He-These French artists are ex-
tremely ever, aren't they: She-I
don't know. can / understand them.
/ never could understand French very
we'll. ll.-Exchangc,
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
His Confession.

TELL me, DOCTOR" asked the ambi-
tious young disciple of Galen, eagerly.
what was the most dangerous case
you ever had?"
In confidence. now that 1 am about
to retire from practice" answered the
veteran physician, frankly, Il will con.
fess that it was my medicine-case."-
Puck.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A Tender Point.

s'You don't mean to say that waiter
refused tip?" '.Yes. do" "HOw
did it happen?" when offered the
money said: There's the price OF \
urst-class shave. '"-Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Luxury In the Coal-Yard.

First Tramp-Hi Bill! You're
lynn on anthracite. Second Tramp
Il know it What's wrong: First
Tramp-Well, come over here. I've
lust struck lot of soft coal.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Just Catching On.

Duane-Great heavens: that car is
either filled with madmen or there
has been some sort Of an explosion.
Reade-Nonsense: the gripnian has
simply taken hold of the cable
Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
A Man Of Ability.

Chollie-Can you recognize ability
when you see it, Miss Ruth? Miss
Ruth docking around Certainly;
where is any?-Exchange
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
One Thing Lacking.

One Thing Lacking.
well, Tommy, you've got your new
bicycle at last. and presume you arc
satisfied"
Nome. I'd like to have the hxin' OF
the weather now. They's too blame
much ain."-Chicago Tribune.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
RfOnsn0uitY.

She (sketching)-I suppose could
get your expression better il you sat
little further of. He-On the con-
trary. l was just going to quote my
favorite hymn. She What is that?
He-Draw me nearer. Bea-
coz.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
She'd BE Dead.

1T amt no wonder that city peo-
pie don't live long," said old Mrs
Jason. ''Law, me, il I had as many
neighbOrs to look after as folks that
lives in cities must have, I'd be dead
in less'n year."-Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Promptly Punished.

Starter-l met man this morning
who said l looked like you. Smart
ley-Tell me who he is and I'll 30
and knock him down. Starter-I
did tfat myself
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Av0iding Dlstlnctlon.

Avoiding Dlstlnctlos.
First Burglar-"Ill have ter get .
bike SOON"
Second Burglar-"What for?'
First Burglar-"Well. il I don't III
soon be known to de police as de onl,
man in de perfesh what don't ride
Puck.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Cautious.

Pcss-I noticed that you didn't
kiss Beatrice when you met her.
Why was that? Maud-l didn't want
to make my dislike for her too ap-
parent-Tiuth.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Dashaway-Miss Palisade told me
to ask you to call on her tomorrow
night Cleverton - But I heard
that she was going to be out Dash
aWay-She iS-Exchanxe
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Lady (engaging servant)-I ought
TO tell you that we are all strict tee
totalers here. suppose you won't
mind that?"
Mary Jane-"Oh. no, mum. I've been
In q reformed drunkard's family be-
f0re."-Punch.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Her Favorite Subject.

Sawdorf-Mrs. Larkin is q great
woman to talk about people StandOff
Yes, and her favOrite subject is
Mrs. Larkin.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Juvenile Economy.

Teacher-What is economy? Boy
Buying cheaper things than your
mother sends you for. so as to have
some money left for candy.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
No Help for Hin.

so the poor fellow is doomed to
an early death" ..H0w do you make
that 0ut:" '.Didn't you say he lived
BY his Wits A"-(uip&
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Didn't Care for 1t.

Music Dealer-Can't I sell you
copy of our latest ''SOngS Without
Words?" Stranger-No: I don't think
much of the missing-wOrd craze
Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
NUMEROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.

pleaanne incidents Occurring the Worls:
Over-Sayings That Arc Cheerful to tho
Old or Young Funny Selections Tha
Everybody Will Enjoy Reading
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11


sci, or to save the vessel itself and its
cargo shall be entitled to receive from
the owners a reasonable sum Desloes
expenses. This payment is called sal
wage. No receiver OF wreck is en-
titled to salvage. Salvage. on ac-
count of preservation of human
life. has priority to all other
claims for salvage" History Is
full of accounts of false lights and
lures placed by dishonest hands for
murderous purposes. A shipload OF
passengers may go to the bottom for
gather little profit from the disaster.
In ancient times the British Crown ap-
pointed wreck master, whose busl-
ness it was to take charge of and as
sist all stranded vessels and to prevent
the plunder that almost always accom-
panied the breaking up of ship on an
1nfrequented shore. Our life-service is
the outgrowth of the wreckmaster idea.
The life-savers are volunteers, al
though salaried, and are among the
bravest and strOngest-hearted men in
our land. Only on exceptional Occa-
sions do we realize what their services
really are. When great ship. with
hundreds of passengers, is rescued
from the jaws of death the world won
ders, but these men, with the muscles
of steel and the eagle eye, take their
lives in their hands whenever they go
out to bring in some poor fisherman or
to gather up the scattered remnants
of some unimportant marine industry.
Wrecking has been reduced to
science, and the appliances and meth
DDS employed in this work are among
the most interesting constructions ever
designed by inventive genius.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

''Why are the heads Of the figures
in the fashion plates always turned
a IL they were locking back:" $50
they cannot see what guys they are. "
Truth.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Mr. TOpfi00r-I have rented . cc:-
tage for the summer. Mrs. Topfoor
ls there an elevator In it:-ExchanRe.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

$50 Mr.. Henpeck has ran OF and
left his wife" Il don't blame him.
/ guess he got tired of being b0ssed.
1T can't b. that He ran OF with
the cook. Life.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
1iveried Reportee.

The Coachman-What does va
name. We spalpeen. by tellin' tn butler
me Biddy was hot stuff"
The Footman-Faith, yer Biddy's the
cook now aint she?
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Old Friend-Was your daughters
marriage success? Hostess-Oh. Z
great SUCCESS She's traveling in Eu-
rope on tho alimonx.-NeW York
Weekly.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

There are few researches more in.
teresting than those which touch upon
the discovery or manufacture of dia-
m0nds. An explorer in the mountains
In Natal came upon the crater Of an
extinct volcano. There was q very
sixable lake at the summit and an ex.
animation of the shore and soundinss
taken brought up sand which held
small diamonds. There is a good deal
Of interest manifested "a to whether
an actual diamond mine is discovered
or whether these gems were there bv
accident. being lost or thrown into the
water. As the mountains of this re
gion are not supposed to be diamond
bearing. 1t Is suggested that volcanic
action may have had something to do
with the formation Of these precious
stones.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

: mo. Mr.. HaAkinscn." said Tommy.
to the young man Who was waiting In
the parior for Tommy's sister. Il amt
the kind Of . little boy you're always
readin' about In the papers what bae,
candy from the fellers that comes to
see th'r sisters. Still. II you've rot
Any In your pockets I'd BE- willmfs to
take it."-Chicago Tribune. yss7
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
Summer Pessimlsn.

OomoOP Eooo1moons
There is no such thing on earth al
retributive Justice"
why do you say so?"
The person who leaves flypaper on
a chair is never the one who sits down
on it."-Detroit Free Press.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Sam-"Dat ole preachah hab got de
notion dat de world am gwine to run
into de sun next month an git burned
up"
Bill-"I doan take no stock in sech
t'ings happenin'."
Sam-"Well. IL it do happen, he'll
hab de grand laugh on us!"-Puck
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
OR BUDGET OF FUN.
VME GOOD JOKES, ORIGINAL
AND SELECTED.

States Harmoaise with Bad Acton
Points On Liveried Repartes- Floating
Paragraphs.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

DR. MCGLYNN is reported as d.
clarin9 that Hell Is = state II %,
Herr Most Is just the man to carry il
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

ROM the light-circl-
ed hall. through
the daxzl / n g
throng.
Hand in hand We
had noiSeleSSly
gone;
And huShed were the
echoes Of dance
and Of song.
As We stood on the
terrace alone.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

She Wanted 70 Bo Rare.
May kiss you. Miss Tenspot?"
asked young Mr.. Huggins.
Have you ever kissed girl before?'
asked the young lady.
''Never!" asseverated the young man.
Then you may kiss me. / draw
the line 1t men who kiss and tell
New York Life
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

various trips. When q ticket il desir-
ed for a given point the large wheel is
set in motion until the name Of the
station asked for comes opposite a
small iron point. One of the buttons
corresponding to the three openings is
then pressed and this sets the interior
machinery in motion: In less time than
by the ol1-fashioned way of stamping.
ETC.. the ticket comes out ready to be
used. While the machine ID delivering
the tickets asked for the same are be-
inS mysteriously registered In Tie in
tes3or Of the apparatus. An endless
1aAd unrolls from the top Of the appar-
atns and registers simultaneously With
~ ds1lvery Of the ticket, its number.
- SERIES. its destination and price.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Hamlet-This is an awful frost. what
shall we do?
Omelet-Go and get a skate on, OF
course.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

She-"Why II It. ! wonder that littla
men % often marry large women?'
He-'I dopx know, unless It II that
the little fellows are afraid to hack. ont
r engaeementxT-C Cleveland Leader.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Wife-"Why, Reginald. these trous-
ers have no pockets In themi"
Husband-"I know. I expect to save
enough by not having them to pay for
the whole salt. Judge.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

Miss Askins-"I'm sure you had a
fine time with all those young ladies
at the seashore."
Toodles-"Not very good. There waa
another man there"-Puck.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

'Say. Bill. didn't you say that
matches were made in heaven?"
why yes"
"Well. yer can't foo: me on the smell
Of that one"-Life.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

ceai stsslssi<.. 5IaS
AMeEkean coal Is IN important item
- III supplies Of outward -bouna At
lantic liners. Formerly 4 large snount
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

;XzNNS& echoes Of dance
SDMK and of song.
Mxf6ES As we stood on the
II ESMN terrace alone.
NSSN No sound. save the
splash of the
fountain. was heard,
Which murmur'd .ts lullaby there
TO the leaves Of the jessamine. languid-
ly stirr'd
By the kiss of the love-laden air.
The moonbeams fell with a light caress,
And played. with q tender grace,
On the Quivering sheen Of her snowy
dress
And the calm Of her exquisite face
In silence l watched, as the waters fell
With musical murmuring sound:
Not daring, not dreaming to loosen the
SPELL
Or profane the enchanted ground.
She stood like a creature of heavenly
birth.
With mission of love to fulfill
A spirit removed from the sorrows of
earth,
And above all mortal ill.,
As gazed on her, family she whispered
my name
And said low, while my breath came
thick:
II have eaten too much of fowl a la
creme,
And l think. am going to be sick"
-Janvier.
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

No sound, save the
splash of the
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

In silence / watched, as the waters fell
| With musical murmuring sound:
Not daring. not dreaming to loosen the
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11
GCIENTIFIC TOPICS.
CURRENT NOTES OF DiScov-
ERY AND INVENTION.
An Ingenlous ReEisterlng Machine for
- Use Of Railroad Companies-A
Familiar Trick Explained-The Evo-
lution Of tho Wrecking Business.
of wreckinx Business

LID British law
\thus d e s cr i b e S
| wreck and salvage:
! when any ship or
boat is stranded or
in sore distress on
any shore or tidal
water of the United
Kingdom any one
assisting to save
lives of those on
the endangered ves-
The Globe-republican., 1897-11-11

FOUNTAIN, was heaCd,
Which murmur'd :ts lullaby there
TO the leaves of the jessamine. languid-
ly Stirr'd