Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-05-06
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The author OF Degeneration" hav-
ing shown that the great men Of our
time are merely so many manifesto
tons of the human mind diseased, was
bluntly asked by a critic to define the
difference between genius and insan-
ity. WELL" replied Nordau, "the lu-
matte Is at least sure of his board and
clothes"
George Garrick, brother Of the csle
brated David, was the latters most de-
voted slave and laborious pack-horse.
On coming behind the scene, he usual
ly inquired: HAS David wanted me?"
1t being asked once how George came
to die so soon after the demise Of his
famous brother, wag replied: David
wanted him."
Once the opposition leaders were very
anxious to find out what course ''Diz-
~" intended to pursue in regard to a
certain matter. They turned loose up
on him well-known political beauty.
She talked and talked, he gazed and
gazed. At length she asked him. He
admirat ton, and observed, Pretty dar-
ling"
Sir Albert Pell, verbose and prolix
but very successful English advocate,
owed his forensic victories largely to
his iteration. When a gentleman criti-
cised jury address Of his in an i'm
portant cause, Pell confessed and
avoided" the business of the criticism.
II certainly was COMPOUNDED long," he
replied; "but did not observe the fore
man, a heavy looking fellow in vel
low waistcoat? No more than one idea
could ever stay in his thick head at a
time, and resolved that mine should
be that one; so hammered till l saw
by his eyes that he had got it."
Two Of the best malapropisms ever
heard (says Mr.. Howard Paul. were ut
tered by an old lady of obscure origin,
who lived in the West. She had two
daughters being educated in Paris. She
desired them to return, and they plead
ed for longer sojourn. 'Them girls"
she said, has been so long in Paris,
they begin to think themselves Par-
Sites" These same girls were warmly
devoted to private theatricals, and Of
ten took part in them. Somebody told
the old lady that one Of her daughters
had engaged herself to Frenchman,
one Of the actors, whereupon she ex-
claimed: II always said no good would
come Of them amatory theatricalsw
Maurice Barrymore and some person
with whom he had business dealing
were walking down Fifth avenue to-
gether. They passed blind man, who
stood with a tin cup In his hand and a
sign to explain the situation on his
breast. The man, whom Barrymore
was trying to impress. stopped. With
great deliberation he drew a handful Of
silver from his pocket. After shutting
and searching 1t over for some time,
he at last found a nickel, which he
dropped in the tin cup. Then he re-
placed the silver in his pocket and
slowly buttoned his coat. Barrymore,
who was irritated at the interruption,
said: 'Oh, come alongw The phlan-
thropist looked at him full in the eyes,
Barrymore" he said. slowly and dis
tinctly-rather loudly, tool always
give to the blind" 'You are quite
right" said Barrymore, quickly: ''they
can't see what you are giving Them
Judge Roy Bean, Of Langtry, Texas,
declares that he Is the Flaw west of the
Pecos." Leslie's Weekly tells an an
ecdate told Of him when ne sat as coro-
ner and held an inquest on the body Of
a man who had met violent death by
falling from the great railway bridge
that spans the Pecos river. An exami-
nation showed that the man had re-
volver and forty dollars in cash in his
pocket when he was killed. After
swearing in jury and looking over the
effects Of the dead man, Judge Bean
said: Gentlemen Of the jury, there
amt NO doubt about how this man
came to his death; that's all plain; but
what l would like to know Is why in
the name Of thunder he carried that
gun. Now, gentlemen, it's ag'in the
law to carry concealed and loaded
gun in the State Of Texas, and jist
because this gentleman took 1t into his
head to get killed l don't mean to let
him offend the peace and dignity OF
Texas. fine him forty dollars"
Justice of the Peace Bonnefoi is
known In Chicago as the North Side
Solomon" Two neighbors had quar-
relied over the ownership of mongrel
dog. There had been several contin-
uances, witnesses had been sworn and
countersworn, and lawyers had wran-
gled until the justice and the specta-
tors as well were all mixed as to the
nature of the original proposition. To
ward the close Of wordy session, a
butchers boy, who had stolen into the
court with basket OF fresh meat for
his employers customers, started to
leave the room. The dog, which had
been tied to a leg Of the Justices desk,
smelled the meat, gave tug that broke
the string, and bounded down the
stairs after the butchers boy. The
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