The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-09
BAB WRITES OF WOMAN'S
'"' '"' Duty TO TALK.
Rut the Talking Woman Is Urged Not to
Grin.
NttrRctiveness
Upon Observation-Disclosures o the WASN'T
starch in Wrong Places t WhereIt
would Do the OOd - smart
IFS
Copyrigt 1S9


a comfortable chair--that is comfortable
for woman-until a woman has designed
one. The masculine chair designer con-
Guides that all womens waists are of The
same length, and the consequence is that
while one sylph-like maiden finds rather
more of herself on the floor than she de-
sreS, a shorter sister is dangling in mid
air. Women understand the agonies cn>
dured by other women in the chair of TO-
day. A woman knows what it means at
dinner to be placed in a huge armchair,
that while~i it looks very historical and
picturesque, is, to a small woman vert-
able seat of torture. If she wants to eat
her dinner she has TO sit on it's tip edge
with no support from it's back; if she at
tempts to lean against the back the seat
is so frightfully long and so much of her
gets on it, that she looks as if she had
stretched herself out for a nap. Then.
of course. some big, horsy woman will
credit her with lacking manners and as
Stunning a "slouchy" attitude.
Then there's that small, gilt chair. pc
culiar to drawing A man weighing
over $50 forgets himself, sits on it, breaks
1t, and has to send his hostess $25 worth of
flowers the next day. Then there's that
deceptive rocking chair. the one which
doesn't announce to the world that it
rocks and when you sit upon it, with
certain emphasis. ii goes flying back and
slippers Then that creaky chair-I never
hear that creaky chair that l don't think
OF young woman who married an old
man who had the rheuma tism dreadfully;
Tor l have always wondered if, when,
wanting little money, she sat on his lap
and put her arms around his neck to
prove just how much she loved him, he
creaked at the shoulders and knees and
elbows just as that type of chair does.
1here is one chair that is without any ex-
ception, the most abominably vicious i'm
aSinable-you have to have an acquaint-
ance with 1t just as you do with vice.
You first endure, then you pity, then you
embrace-or, rather, it embraces you. 1t
is built to fold up in various positions, and
only one of the whole lot is comfortable.
To hide its crimes it is usually cushioned
Perhaps strange man enters, looks about
your drawing-room and sees the same en-
ticing air about that wretched chair that
vice possesses for its votaries He goes
toward it and in an easy manner seats
himself on the end. Down goes chair, man
ana all If he's small, he's buried under
the cushions; if he's large. it is interesting
to hear the wicked words he says to in
crease ones vocabulary. Occasionally,
somebody learns the one way to manage
that chair. You've got to find the exact
center of it. sit down there, and then YOU
are monarch of all you survey. Neither
man, woman nor spook, however, retains
remembrance as to where the center of
that chair is, as the cushions have hor-
rid way of sliding round and making the
middle, or rather the find of the middle
subject for the X-rays. When that chair
was first seen and bought by an innocent
woman, it was accompanied by printed
testimonials from well-konwn people who
had found it comfortable and couldn't
live without it, These well-known people
must have been saints who thought NOR
on fs,- ~,
hard floor, place of joy. The morality of
the ancient chair was great, but the i'm
morality OF modern one cannot be sur
passed.
All during Lent the smart girl has been
getting herself in condition. from the
standpoint of her vocabulary, TO go on the
other side. She says, fancy for sup
pose" and guess She would rather
die than say guess" because then any-
body would know she was one of those
horrid Americans. Anything from din
ner to a ball she calls Junction." per.
sonally 1 always think of a funeral as a
function. If you meet her on the avenue.
just after she's been to a wedding. and
you ask her about the brides dress, all
that she can drawl out is, ut was an
awful4y fetching frock, don't you know
Clever is a faVorite word with her-the
picture she admires is "a clever bit of
canvas" If you ask her if she plays ten
MS she says Yes, but / am not at all
clever at it," Then, if she's disappointed
about anything, it is "such a blow" And
the opposite to this is such a pleasure"
She never has heard of a store; she buys
her belongings of "a rather decent shop"
And il you ask her about dance she says.
"Oh, had rather a fetching time. for
there were lots of delightful men out last
night She's a good bit of fool, but
she's funny; and therefore, she does her
duty in life. It's more than amusing to
hear her say stop atone" when she
means stay at home" For a certain
glibness is necessary to achieve success
in this last combination of two words
Still, there's nothing absolutely wicked
in what she's doing. and She will get over
it after awhile. The American cir. of the
best breed has these attacks of folly Just
as full bred pup has the mango. Very
simple medicine cures both diseases. A
dose Of good sense will finish up the first.
and little buckthorne will straighten
out the second. Believe It? I assure YOU
it's true on the word of dog doctor and
OF Bah.
Gladstone in Greece in 1858.