Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-05-10
TEACHING TETON TO SHOOT.

1 am lookin fer party of the name of Potter
Grimm,
Bein pointed aoommittee to go questin after
him.
l. of all the Teton school board, am now able
TO appear;
/, whose dexter eye is closed an who am minus
of an ear.
Yet, despite my damaged features, I'm whole
lot wholer than
William Hart or Red Pete Ruble-yes, or any
other man
Who set in that school board session light OF
heart an sound of limb.
So the task devolves on me to square the thing
with Potter Grimm.
1t was some time in the sprngtime that he
come here with his books,
An his carpetbag an blankets, an his sad, dys
peptic looks
But we smiled ON his arrival, an We welcomed
the galoot,
Fer he'd come-he said-to teach the young
i-dee-ur how to shoot.
This was what he said that evenin when the
school board went an called.
He was thin an pale an weakly an was pre-
maturely bald
But whispered to Pete Ruble that the wise
man overlooks
Much in one who teaches shootin by the use OF
Chalk all DOCKS.
"You." says to Red Pete Ruble in whisper,
'you an me
Had to learn our skill with firearms by plain,
crude necessity
Amt you glad to khow our children have 1t
easier. an that,
By the rules of MATHEMATICS, will hit what
they re amin at2''
In q month the teacher sent us-to us parents.
Little papers writ out fer us in graceful,
'Henry' average is 90, " "Bcb's photography
is low,
But calculate he'll pick up in perhaps a
month or so. F."
'What is this9" says Hyrum Woodruff, p'intin
to photography
"What's the manner of that shootinP Kindly
demonstrate to me-
"That, says Hart, "you ignoramus, is tar
get. That's it's name.
It's kinder movin fgger at the which the
pupils aim
"You're mistaken says Pete Ruble. "It's q
late invented gum
Once, when was down in Ogden fer a week,
l carried one"
"It's q cattridge!' yelled Hank Fuller "That's
the word. photography
Is Eyetalian fer a cartridge jes' as plain as it
can be-"
Well, we all took sides an argied, but we
couldn't seem to jibe,
An we fell in disputation which hardly dare
describe.
Only this, that Red Pete Ruble broke the
nose of William Hart
An Hy Woodruff fell on Fuller an nigh busted
him apart.
ST., Del
let's flew an tipped an sung,
An the spectacle presented was lesson fer
the young,
An when ali of us was crippled all by wounds
obliged to quit,
nofne one says: 'The teachers comm. Ask
him fer the truth of it,
30 l, bein slightest damaged, called the fright
ened man to me
An explained the circumstances Of that word
"orthography."
"If you use it in your teachin of your shootin,
as you say"
| Says l, "Just explain it to us in quiet kind
Of way"
"Whyl" cried he, "my dear, good people,
you could see that he was scared
"That's another word fer sspellin!" / held
to my ear an stared.
can, " he says-oh awful statement-"you'v We
Inexperienced me.
have never fired weapon in my peaceful
life" says he.
Hyrum Woodruff groaned in spirit an he
grabbed his empty gun.
But the teacher, wildly shriekin, was mile
| off ON run.
William Hart, with jawbone fractured muir
INJURED weakly, '"rhe galootl
An he had the gall to tell us he was teachin
| 'em to shootp'
said nothin, but in silence jest registered a
VOW,
Wherefore, bein most recovered, I'm about to
fill it now.
Friend, DO kind an look an tell me-this here
bloodshot eye is dim
II there's any one adjacent of the name of Pot
ter Grimm.
Chicago Record