The San Francisco call. [volume] (San Francisco [Calif.]) 1895-1913, 1897-09-12
FOSTERS PHONE o. K"
At Least So Says A, H., Hogg
Who Is in Position
to Know.
Veracious History of Friendship
Ruptured by Practical
Joke.

Ifyou should happen to be wandering
aimlessIy IL the neighborhood of the
Grand Hotel bar, and desire to enjoy a
few moments quiet fun, ombined with a
liberal education in the use OF exag gerated
expletive step into the bar, call for Mr..
Ned Foster, the presiding genius thereof,
and mention casually that you desire to
test his telephone. Also ask him to pro-
nounce slowly loudly, and with due re-
gard for distinctness this formula: "One,
two, three" Watch the expression on
Mr.. Fosters face. Note the genial smile
with which your suggestion will be greet
ed, and get out of reach of his good right
arm, lest you be pursued by the vengeance
of the righteous as by whirlwind.
1t came about in this wise. Mr.. Foster
has telephone in his bar. He also has
friends who occasionally ring him up for
the enjoyment of the conversation which
maketh a ready man, as Bacon has it.
Among his friends is one A. h. Hogg, who
pursues the gentle avocation of trading in
drugs at the corner OF New Montgomery
and Market streets. Between the genial
dispenser OF liquid refreshment that
maketh glad the heart of man and the
gentleman who fills physicians prescrip-
friendship, which seems likely to be ter
minated by the telephone connecting the
two esta blish ments.
1t was during the noon hour yesterday,
an hour that Is an exceptionally busy one
for gentlemen in Mr.. Fosters line OF busi-
ness, that the telephone rang. Ned
stepped to the phone.
Halo"
us that Mr.. Foster?'
- nv Foster hos ad
one or two Gfdires du cGur in the course
of his eventtul existence.)
mo, it isn't sweetheart This is Gen.
trail, and we want to test your instru-
ment."
''Ah." murmured Foster, with falling
infection.
Now, Mr.. Foster" said the voice land
it reverberated not with feminine soft
ness), please count One, two, three.
Mr.. Foster obeyed.
Louder" demanded the voice.
Mr.. Foster obliged.
Still louder" foated soothingly over
the wire.
And again the duIcet tones of MIR. Foster
were heard In obedience.
Now" said the voice, twill you kindly
step foot to the lief. of the instrument
and count One, two. three P
To the left stepped Mr.. Foster and
counted three in the acce Mt affected by
the primary school marin. Still his in.
quisitor was not satisfied.
"a little louder, please" And louder
it was.
"Awfully sorry to trouble you, Mr.
Foster, but would you mind stepping a
foot TO the right OF the phone and count
ing three. You see, our electrician wants
this test to be thorough" And it was
done by the saloon man, like martyr to
principle tina: he is.
Louder, oh louder"
By this time Mr.. Foster was beginnin @
to agree with the philosopher who re-
marked that patience is not always a vir-
tue, but with fair grace he again voiced
the numerals.
Louder, please"
Mr.. Foster CALCULATED a word that began
with and rhymes with jam.
"EhP Louder"
"One, two three. roared Ned, the veins
on his forehead appearing like mountain
ranges on map of the Klondike.
And then-how shall we write it? How
tell the cruel sequel? How describe the
this Clty2 How picture the just lndigna-
ton OF Ned when the modest request
came over the wires:
Mr. Foster, will you kindly stand on
your - - head and
count twenty-five"
The voice had become distinctly mascu.
line, and it was the voice of his whilom
friend Hogg, accompanied by such sounds
as rtain long-eared beasts make in
mirthtul moments. Mr.. Hogg was not
alone!
Thus it is that when the man of liquors
meets the man OF drugs he bestows upon
him the klondike stare, and it Is for this
reason that it is not safe to mention the
subject of testing electric telephones with.
in The hearing of Mr.. Ned Foster.
And further dennnent saith not