Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-06-05
cHEsTNUTs !


friend TO street cars.
Jordan is hard road to travel; es-
pecially during high water.
The clork OF the Inird district criminal
court is Little but oh nyl
working on the tariff is the best
kind OF government job.
csc
An ex-member Of the City Council Is
known TO have retired Rich.
Fifty years ago today tho Utah
Pioneers were still crossing the Plains.
The aeronsut has learned TO elevate
himself above his fellow-man.
1t is singular but fact that Salt
Lake people get little fresh at times.
Bankers as rulo are thin men, but
Salt Lake has one who Is Stoutt.
There Is mining district in Utah
that should substitute Silver Tor Tin in
its proud title.
What vast number OF sweet l6-year-
old girl graduates there arc in Salt
Lake!
1t is stouily denied that Ananias has
anything to do with the writing OF tho
weather reports.
The reason servant girls are called
''hired," is because they object to having
their wages lowered
sss
Politicians are not the only ones VINO
clsmor for public patronage. Advertisers
do the same thing.
The city has an inspector who would
walk Miles to SOC that the plumbing or
dinance was complied with.
"a
az came within hare's breadth OF
getting In at rabbit said hunter to his
companion while out shooting.
ofall the letters IN the English al
phabet the I o U are considered by
many to be the most Questionable.
90
1t must be gra flying to Barney Quinn
to no longer hear from the people the
sentence: Lynch the county assessor"
aHs
II is now stated mat 'limited circum-
loculion'' was what the May or wrote, and
that the typewriter made he change.
s"e
A motion TO change the name OF "con-
tipgent fund" to "sinking fund.-" would
be In order. Hl
The city is accused of nepotism; 1t has
Kneass for inspector OF the board OF
health.
4 -.
1t Is about time that some Of the city
office holders were studying political
economy.
One of Sheriff Lewiss deputies has
demonstrated himself TO be quite Andy
with his gun.
80 where, and U, where, is my irish
Billy gone?' unused President Newell
at Tuesday nights Council meeting.
There are more lies told in the sem
tence, 'pm glad to see you' than in any
other half-dozen words in the English
language.
A man walked into furniture store
the other day and astonisbed the clerk
by asking to be shown cheap bureau Of
Information.
ogden has a man who claims to have
| descended from Napoleon Bonaparte.
| No one saw him descend, but 1t is said 10
have been quite descent.
"After a Ruthless Search, all the money
was recovered except one pair OF Shoes"
said a country paper in giving an account
of burglary. ..
| We shouldn't always judge mans in
tellect by the size OF the hat he wears;
| the smallest watch in Salt Lake can keep
time with the big clock on the Emporium
corner.
~ wouldn't be a Councilman for IS u
day." said municipal solon a short
time ago. Alter all there may be some
thing in the report that a counclmanic
seat is worth at least 81, 500 per annum.
Poetry, long hair and waxed mustache
have won the heart OF many girl, but
IFS the fellow with L wart on his nose
and other infirmities who generally
marrles her.
A certain Salt Lake minister is often
seen playing cards on the front porch OF
his residence these pleasant evenings.
Such procedure Is likelv to subject him
| 10 tue 'nlButr crlticlbIns' Oh MS llNefleu
colleagues. But then he is understood az
never sitting in game where the devil
deals.
A London paper gives glowing nc.
count OF young man named Day, who
had just celebrated his thirtielh birth
day; was married and the father of seven
cbildren-six girls and one boy. There 10
nothing.remarkable about this exceptthat
it can now be said that he has in his fam
lily seven Days--six weak Days, and one
son Day. Yet lhis the London paper
ov erlooked.
"Councilman Muivey has gone to New
rk."-Daily papers. Before going he
is said 10 have recited the following.
taken from the poem of Charles Lamb:
~ thought on Lloyd; all he had been to me;
And now / go 10 mingle with world i'm.
pure.
| Long, long within my aching heart
Tho grateful sense still cherished be:
IN think less manly OF myself.
| That Lloyd will sometimes think on me-"