Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-16
MISCELLANEOUS.
BITS OF SENTENCES.
HUMoR IN THE sERMoN-TEXT.


In q recent address before the Lon
don Sunday School Union, Dean Far
rar, speaking of ministers who take
bits of sentences az texts, told how a
distinguished ecclesiastic, lately de-
ceased, had once preached very ia
NOUS sermon on the text, &" Hear the
Church" Everybody knows that
there is no such text it is merely
fragment of verse. Archbishop
Whately remarked, q" He might Just
as well have chosen Hang all the
law and the prophets.'" But more
curious things than this are on record
in the matter of sermon texts
When ladies wore their topknots"
ridiculously high it occurred to Row
land Hill To admonish them from the
pulpit, and he did it by means of the
words, "Topknot, come down."
which he evolved from Matthew
xiv. II, "Let him which is on the
house-tOpn not come dOacn." Ofcourse
nothing but the exceeding quaint
ness Of the preacher could have ex-
cused such n liberty with the sense
and sound of the sacred text. 1t was
almost as bad as Swift's uniquely
brief discourse on the text, "He
that hath pity on the poor lendeth
to the Lord" MY friends" said
the Dean, as he closed the book, elf
you approve of tho security, down
with the dust" AS matter of fact,
it is usually only the quaint preach
ers who do venture on such liberties.
Even on the sombre subject of mat.
rimony the clerical humorist has had
his joke in the way of texts. Some
times, no doubt, the humorist has
been unconscious, as when the alb
sent minded preacher, forgetting that
his congregation were on the tiptoe
OF expectation in regard to a recent
"capture" by one of their lady men,
bers, announced as his text, "Be-
hold the bridegroom cometh." But
more often the humor, it may be
suspected, has been intentional. So,
at any rate, the young bride must
have regarded it when, having ex-
tracted promise of wedding SER
mon from her vicar, she heard the
text announced, Yea, and abun-
dance ofpeace so long as the moon en-
dureth"-the honeymoon, of course !!
The New England Puritan fathers
were especially good at this kind of
thing, partly, no doubt, because they
shared to such an extent their do
mestic joys and sorrows with the
members of their congregation
Parson Turell-of whom DR.. Holmes
has written, "Over at Medford he
used to dwell"-had for his first wife
a handsome brunette, and the first
sermon he preached after his we'd
ding was from the text, am black
but comely, o ye daughte of Jeru-
salem." When he married second
time, the bride very likely had the
choice of the text, for it was found
to be, L" He is altogether lovely this
is my beloved, and this is my friend" )"
Brides really were allowed to select
the texts in those days of New Eng
land history. Thus. " hen a certain
John Physick and Mary Prescott
were married in Portland in 177O, the
lady gave the preacher the following
text for the bridal Sunday, Mary
hath chosen that good part" Again,
when Abby Smith, daughter of Par
son Smith, married Squire John
Adams-whom her father disliked
so much thai he declined having him
home TO dinner-she chose this text
for her wedding sermon, Johncame
neither eating bread nor drinking
water, and ye say he hath devil"
The high.spirited bride, it is inter-
esting to note, had the honor of liv-
ing to be the wife of one President
of the United States and the mother
Of another. 1t is, indeed. almost in
credible Wh8t things we're done by
the New England diyines in the way
Of making their texts suitable for
occasions and events. Mrs. Earle
tells of cleric giving out one morn
ing as his text, Unto us son is
born" thus notifying surprised
congregation of an event which they
had been awaiting for some weeks.
Another preached from the text,
"My servant lieth at home SICK"
which was literally the case; while
still another-a cynical bachelor, we
may be sure-dared to announce this
abbreviated text, "A wonder was
seen In Heaven-a woman" DIR.
Mathar Ruiao nf RnStpn hainn do