The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-12-04
MAKING A NEWSPAPER.
How the Office BOY Explains 1t q
the Rural .sride and Groom.

lne rural Drlue ana groom GlniuIy
approached the elevator leading up in
to the building wherein was located a
great city daily, and the man asked
the elevator boy How d'y'?"
cd evenin." responded the boy, in
a manner which made the shrinking
bride cling to the arm of her long,
grcen husband.
Were in town on our weddin' trip,
kinder" he said, hlushingly, land me
and Matte thought as we was seein'
the sights we oughtcr to see the news
paper office, too. our parents has been
talSin your weekly for a good many
years"
That's right said the elevator boy.
enccuragingly the people will he glad
you did, but l haven't got time to show
you around. Here's the office boy,
though, and he's an expert in that bust
SIS, he is. Amt you, Snips?
Ships. being appealed to, came out
from somewhere he had no business to
he. and assumed importance.
What 7 don't know about the news
parer business, mister" he said, II
guess you won't find around here. It's
an hour till Midnight, when 1 go on
watch, and if you make it worth while
I'll show you everything.
4 bargain was struck.
NOW" said the Office boy, follow
me and when I'm done with you if you
don't say you got more for the money
than ever you did before in your life
III say you don't know punkins when
the leaves is off the vines"
This homely reference brought
smile to the brides cheek, and she fol-
lowed the boy and her husband down
into cellar with more confidence than
she felt at first.
II brought you down here SOS you
could see the engine" the boy eN-
planned, "and then you wouldn't have
to come down here any more, for it
amt very clean and purity for the
lady" The lady looked her thanks.
You see, there's four b'ilers."
Bout the same as sawmill b'ilers
reckon" said the groom, as if he were
not greatly Impressed.
We'll, there's two bat'ries Of 'em."
said the boy, not knowing a sawmill
from a washboiler.
"They amt like that in a sawmill,"
said the visitor.
II should say they wasn't. There's
a good deal more difference than that,
you will find, between a sawmill and a
newspaper" continued the guide, in
a more or less triuDhant tone, turning
to go out of the engine room.
Nov, that through yonder," Sc said,
pointing out from the elevator, lis the
| COuntin' room
Where they count the papers?" in
terrupted the groom.
Nav" said the boy. where they
count the money. That's the business
office. There's some people that thinks
it's pleasure to run a newspaper, but
when they tackle it once they find it's
business. That's what they have that
office for"
Pears to me it would be just the
kind of pleasure I was lookin for, to
count money" ventured the groom
with the manner of a rural rooster
getting off joke.
Il guess not. if you was countin' it
out instead Of in," said the boy.
There's two ways of countn'."
Going up to the top floor, the office
boy held a whispered conversation
with the elevator boy, the feature Of
which was that the Office boy had a
lead pipe Cinch.
THAT part in there" explained the
boy, as he ranged his people up in front
OF the door leading into the hall to the
editorial rooms. "is where they keep
the brains; and this one over here"
pointing to the reportorial department,
us where they keep the legs"
The bride gave a nervous start, fear
ing she had got into a dissecting room
Of medical college
That's only a joke they have" eX-
planned the boy, when he saw he might
be misunderstood. you see. them's
editors in there, that writes with their
pens what they thinks out and finds in
| other papers and books and places. and
these others is reporters, that writes
mostly with their legs when the city
editor starts 'em out to walk Il mile
and write a line"
"Will you ever be one?" asked the
bride. dfhdently.
I'D jist as lief as not, ma am" he
said modestly, but office boys don't
| most usually seem to have that kind of
style about EN-"
Where does the man stay that
writes the jokes" asked the groom.
He stays at home" grinned the boy.
Eff he stayed around the office some
| body'd kin him."
see llldl uoOf over tncre"' said the
| guide, pointing to a mystSious looking
aperture in the wall. We'll, that's the
| 'uld mans den"
who's he?" asked the groom. "That
| man that signs himself 'we'?"
That's him. said the boy, admir-
| ingly. Hes the grand mogul-the
| boss-thc old man." and the boy gazcd
on the closed door with reverence akin
| To awe,
| "Wcl, I'd like to see him." said the
groom, bravely stepping toward the
dOu"
Are YOU armed?" asked the guide.
| interpOsng himself in the callers path.
mo; what's that got TO do with il 90
"Nothin' only ef you go in there at
this time of night your honeymoon is
mighty likely to be turned into a
! funeral procession, and the old man
| won't be chief mOurner neither"
"He must think a heap of himself, ,"
! ventured the visitor. in a disappointed
| tone.
He does. He thinks more of hisself