Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-02-06
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Washington Star.
She-Nou seem to forget yourself.
sir. lie-liow could do otherwise in
your presencci--Jcdy.
Friend-l suppose everything you
write now goes? Authorizes. bu,
most of !, comes bach. Harlem Life.
~ know now" remarked aas yor-cc
man who was sued for breach of PRIV. ]
isc, why they call 1t 'courting.' It'd. |
pa
r.s-s
Edltor.-Your story is fat. Author.
Yes? Editor-l wish to compliment
you. Most stories we get are rolled
up.--Puck.
"Cncle Simon. what Is phcnome
non! IA phenomenon Is man who
gets so rich that lie won't accept pass
on railrond."-Ch,cag Record.
Bubbles-My wife aud met by
accident. Thrown together by chance,
rs Il were. Wheclwoman eagerly
Did you break the bicycles? p Buffalo
Times.
II Jared pretty wei! on Christmas"
said the man with the blue coat. I'm.
deedi' Yes: you know I'm street
car conductor. "-Philadelphla North
American.
Mrs. Newlywed lin tears)--You used
to say that you would be glad to die
for me. Mr. Newlywcd-well. I would
now. Mrs. Newlywed-well. you may
ncw.-Judge.
I'll wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't stay under the water more
than ten minutes at time" "whyY"
Nobody down there to talk to."-Chl.
cage Record.
'pugilism isn't what Il used to be-
"NO: the advances made In implements
OF modern warfare have thrown II into
the shade somewhat" delph!a
North American.
Hungry IIircins-All dis here hand
out lacks Is fnger.bowls. Weary Wat.
kins-ies. tink could git away wild
crbout n t'rce-iingcr bowl mysclf.-In
dianapolis Journal.
Reporter--Threc men fell on live troll
leg wires to-day. City Editor-Run EN-
In the current events column. CHORUS
Of groans from the forcc.)-Clnclnnat
Commercial Tribune.
She-Mr. Fullback never boasts Of his
football exploits. does he? He-No.
understand that lie has nearly killed
half a dozen men. but he never says O
word about it.-Puck.
called any to-day" "Only once
and then I was left out In the cold
'YOu don't mean It: whercw "Dowr
at Bags!cy's. lie held four accs."-Cia
clnnatl Commercial Tribune.
Alethea (blushingly)-Now, don't. Mr.
Dusnap! I know little Ferdinand Il
watching ut the key-hole. Dusnap--
Well. let's crafty his curiosity, ant
then lie may go away.-puck.
II am sorry to hear that Allwuhl. tn,
clothing merchant. has failed In bus.
ness" How did It happen:" "Ovcr
confidence. He brought on q carloa,
OF car.muffs. Chicago Tribune.
Judge ito couple sentenced for fight
ing-!iave you anything to say? Nal,
Defendant would ike to have m!
wife commence her term In prison a fte
am rcleascd.--German exchange.
Shc-Do you believe In long engage
mcnts? lIe-Well. think IN engage
mcnt should be long enough to test |
mans consistency ana TO give the cir
time to learn to coOk.-BroOklyn Life.
Helm waiting for the intcrestln
woman OF 80 that the novellsts tal
about. She-Well. you won't find he
In Vienna. All the women here unde
60 are not over 22.-Illustrated Bits.
YOU know that old gag OF telling tn
beggar that you are working this sid
Of the street" tried 1t the other day.
ibid it works" no; he licked me 70
getting on his beat"'-ChicagO Recort
Cholly-It would be queer. donchel
know. II the Theosophists We're righ
and IL we came to life again In som
other form. She-Yes, Cholly; som
folks might expect better luck nes
timc.-Puck.
Mrs. Muiligan-Do yez feel better thl
morning. Mrs. O'Tooie: Mrs. O'Toole-
do. and then again don't. Mr.
Muiligan-ThOt's bad, fur it's harru
10 know whether TO say I'm sorry Q
glad.-Harper's Bazaar.
"They must have had cyclone Owe
ut Newriches' last week" "Wha
makes you think 500" "Mr. Newrichs
said they had their monogram blow
into every piece Of glass in the houses
Detroit Free Press.
what kind Of goods, ma'amT aske
the salesman. II think" replied II
young woman who had just bought
wheel and was about TO order her fir
riding suit, you may show me some I
your early fall styles."-Chicago Tri
Une.
"Ah," asked the lady, "this roul
will not--er-rub OFF, "Oh, dear n
men," said the clerk: 'it Is especial
warranted to stand all the kisses of Il
yestigation ones feminine friends ma
choose to try on it."-Indianapolis JOu
nal.
Nell-Miss Bjones uses FrenC
phrases In the most peculiar manner
Bell-Does sheg Nell-Yes, indee,
Why, at breakfast yesterday ] asks
her how she liked her eggs, and 81
raid they were very chick.-Philade
phia Record.
RuzzfuZz-Is there much diffcren'