Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1897-08-24

then his troubles began again over inc
occupation of his three daughters. After
another period of thought. he put ring
around their names and wrote: These
are like the lilies of the field they toll
not neither do they spin.''
N. p. Willis was usually the life of the
company he happened to be in. His re-
ton Is famous. Mrs. Gales wrote on
card to her niece, at the other end of the
table: Don't fiirt SO with Nat Willis"
She was herself talking vivaciously to a
Mr.; campbell. Willis wrote the niece's
reply:
Dear aunt, don't attempt my young
feelings to trammel,
Nor strain at Nat while you swallow a
Campbell"
When the Queen was about to sail for
Alaska from Seattle a few days ago, in
the height of the rush to Klondyke, a
man rushed down to the purser and ex-
claimed Ella excitedly: Look here. paid
when l got there found an old cow
sticking her head through the window"
am very sorry, SIR said the purser
we are very crowded. but ! will do the
pest can for you. john Cunning to Il
deck hand) go up on deck and turn that
cow aroundv'
One day shortly after the late Adam
iidCh, lOuIueT Oh the puDilSnlnS mousse,
commenced business as a bookseller, a
suspicious looking man came stealthily
into the store, and, leaning over the
counter. whispered into his ear: 1--WE
got some fine smuggled whiskey which
I'll let you have at a great bargain"
No, no." said Mr.. Black, Indignantly.
II want nothing of the kind. Go away"
The man, evidently not believing in the
sincerity of this righteous outburst,
leaned over the counter and whispered:
TN take Bibles for it,
A Georgia Cracker" was arraigned for
beating his wife. What have you 10 say
for yourself?, asked the Judge; kin
to say?" "Jedge, yer honor. / want to
say jest this: l never did have no trouble
with none er my wives. 'cept this one.
My fust wife was an angel, my second
wuz willin' an reasonable, my fo'th wuz
moderate. my In the name of good
ness interrupted the judge. 'how many
wives have you had?" The man looked
thoughtful, and then said "Jedge. l
don't know. l used to keep track of 'em,
but l quit countin' after Lees surrend-
err
A woman who was travelling alone not
loEg ago. wandered one evening into
hotel parlor. A pretty young girl at
once rushed toward her and brea thlessly
asked what time it was Somewhat as
tonished. the woman glanced at the big
mantel-clock and repeated the hour. ''Oh.
thank you. said the stranger, but with
out any signs of going away; Il suppose
you think 1t queer my asking that" she
burst out moment later. but to tell
the truth, didn't want to know the time
at all: l just had to speak to somebody.
You see, I'm on my wedding trip and for
a whole week | haven't spoke to a soul
but my husband. Why. I've hardly heard
the sound of any ones voice but his. 1t
was really question of my speaking to
some one or going Wild"
man of considera bic fame a nathe-
matician, was present at a function"
where he was introduced to man from
Chicago who expressed the keenest JOY
in meeting him: for mathematics, he
said, had been always one of his greatest
interests. Our great mathema tician had
been working for months on a problem,
and at last he had solved it. Here was
with another enthusiast. For the better
part of an hour he explained the details
of the problem, and the man from ChIca-
go nodded his head approvngly and en-
joyed himself. Well said he, when
the explanation was over, "as I say, l do
enjoy mathematics. But the thing that
stumps me, sir, is that when you multiply
number by Il fraction you make it
smaller
Parson Adams. minister in Lunenburg.
Mass, for over 80 years, at one time
stopped to pass the night at a friend
house. The clergyman was both tired
and hungry. 1t was proposed to have
prayers at once, and then supper, after
which the minister could go directly to
his bed. To this he agreed and the fam
lily Were called together. The supper was
to consist mainly of Indian cakes. which
We're set to bake on platters in front of
the fire. The parsons seat was opposite
the kitchen door. The service began, but
in a moment Parson Adams saw that one
of the cakes had fallen down and was
burning. He paused and looked toward
his hostess, who seemed unconscious of
any culinary crisis. Mrs. Blank" he
said, gravely, I'VE are told to watch as
well as to pray. l cannot help seeing
that one of those excellent cakes is burn
ing. | will thank you to attend to it,"
The cake was rescued and Parson Ad-
ans resumed his scripture reading with
an easy mind
Dom Pedro once gave an audience to a
young engineer who came to show him a
new appliance for stopping railway en-
gines. The emperor was pleased with the
idea. DAY after tomorrow" said he,
have your engine ready. We will have
1t coupled to my saloon carriage and
start. When going al full speed I will
give the signal to stop, and then we shall
see how your invention works." At the
appointed time the emperor entered his
Cal lldSc, tHe young lHNeIitor mounted MS
engine, and on they sped for several
miles. There came no signal, and the en-
gineer began to fear that the emperor
had fallen asleep. Suddenly the engine
came to sharp curve around the edge of
| the cliff, when, to his horror on the
| track directly ahead of him. the engineer
saw huge boulder He had just sufi-
| Gent presence of mind to turn the crank
of his break and pull the engine up with
In couple of yards of the fatal block.
Here the emperor put his head out of his
car window and demanded to know the
cause of this sudden stoppage. The en-
gineer pointed to the rock, and Dom Pc
dro began to laugh. Push 1t to one side
and go on, he said, calmly. The engi-
neer obeyed, and kicking the stone, was
Still further astonished to see it crum-
pie into dust before him. 1t was block
OF starch which the emperor had made
and placed on the rails the night before
All members of the Eastern Star, de-
string to attend the funeral of the late
Charles A. Price, are invited to meet
at Mrs. Henry L. Morrilps, 40 Oak
| street at 10 o'clock this morning.