The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-06-13
FOR FEMININE RENDERS
THINGS THAT MAKE FRICTION BE-
TWEEN MISTRESS AND MAID.
objection Raised that Married Women
VIII rot Keep Secrets-WOmen's
Inventions a GoodIy List.

First of all the factors which make fric-
ton between the mistress and her maid is
ignorance on the part of the mistress, says
a writer in the New York Evening Post. To
be able to give sensible directions as to how
work is to be done, she must know not only
the result she wishes to attain, but every
step in the process of attainment; and to be
just in her Judgment, whether ii is i'll or
well done, she must know how long the
work ought to take and what is the true
way to do it thoroughly. 1t is not always
as easy to see the funny side of certain
housekeeper's directions, as in the case Of
a young matron who, looking very wise,
ordered her cook to "be very careful about
skinning the fish, but there are many
households in which just as extraordinary
directions are s7ven, and where the most
careful rules are laid down for doing work
the wrong way foremost"
1t is not difficult to learn the best way
of doing a housemaids duties-how to pre-
pare her room for the sweeping; now to
cover the furniture and lift the curtains
from the dust; how to clean the brass and
polish the windows and mirrors 1t is
equally easy to know how long moderate
ly quick person ought to require to leave
perfectly clean room behind her. Yet where
devolves upon them, how often do we hear
the mistress saying: Jane is the slowest
creature! She has been at least an hour
in my ROOM" when in truth two hours
would be very short time in which she
could leave everything in perfect order. OF
course, experience teaches more thoroughly
than most other instructors, but if ex-
perience has only the fruit of ill-judged
and mistaken effort from which to draw
her teaching, she is, after all, but poor
guide. A mistress may have kept house
many years and suffered many things in
the process and in the end be but a novice
in that art which more than any other con-
duces to the happiness and welfare OF
family.
We carefully teach our children the
things which pertain to good breeding;
most carefully insist on good order neat
ness, courtesy and the like; yet we excuse
without an effort their carelessness, their
untidiness, their selfish assertions; 'Iney
are young; they have forgotten; they Will
not do it again; they were in such haste"
Let the young girl who is their attendant
and whose training is only what the vary
ing orders of varying housewives may have
made more or less clear to her, during the
three four years she may have been IN
TINS country, oHend IN any one OF THESE
particulars and we are angry and dlScour-
aged and almost ready to dismiss her as
hopeless. 1t is a slow and painstaking
process to fit ourselves to teach our SerV-
ants, but verify it does abundantly reward
the woman who can educate and make
friends of those who serve her. One does
not like to exploit personal experiences, but
to establish her point the writer can
vouch for the blessing of having a faithful
friend, who has completed her fOrty-firSt
year of usefulness, and can also remember
keenly the trial of having weddings carry
away those who had been ten and twelve
years members of her family in a most
honorable sense.
Another very great help is carefully to
avoid reproVing or finding fault in the
nf nj 1Dlx tn %
anger and annoyance cool, to weigh delib-
erately how great the error has been, and
then to make the reproof very serious, very
much how you have suffered, but where
and how the wrong was done, sinks deeply
into the offenders conscience and heart.
And if you can conclude with a sure hope
will be watching to see how soon she will
perfect herself in that particular, 1t will
do much to help. To try to live up to the
reputation of being unusually capable or
excellent is a great aid sometimes.
Frankness is often felt to be great
honor when mistress makes plain the
real reason for doing a thing. In matters
of economy this is particularly true What
ness" in the servants quarter is based on
seeing much outward show, much make
believe towards the public, while the &C
tual life of the family is made narrow or
uncomfortable. But let the mistress say:
1t is absolutely necessary for me to live
within a certain sum, and / want you to
help me. | wish / could be more indulgent
but for the present ] have to restrict every
expenditure. and until better times come
L have to ask you to save in every way you
can, and she will almost invariably re-
ceive cordial and respectful response
and excite a sense of pride in cooperation
which gives zest to a plain meal and even
condones for a lack of gifts.