New-York tribune., 1897-07-24


American quotes the lines first applied to the
floods OF 1875:
THE name OF Waterbury
Has suggestive sound;
At least We think 1t should have
II we should all be drowned.
II we will make provision
Before another fuss
To bury all the water.
IL then won't bury u.s."
said on a certain occasion, but he Is a good ma
tured fellow. and what he says doesn't make the
different He never gays word whSut su6tPafs 5;iss
burg Dispatch
"a good way" says "rhe Medical Record" Ito
start an efficient crusade against the sptters would
be a detail of policemen in citizens clothes VINO
should disperse on certain lines and should
Immediately arrest every offender caught IN the
act. One officer in car of each OF the different
companies could make a record which would aston
ish the public and create a proper sentiment ac-
cordingly'
Antiquty-"Yes," remarked a Chicago GIRL "he
represents one OF oldest families
Does he date before the fire?
OF the people who have ridden the old-style high
wheels. s."-(Washngton Star.
After the three Cornell victories professor OF
that institution noticed q tipsy freshman In
horsecar. Been drunk he inquired.
CLEAN of fellowship sparkled in the eye OF the
freshman as he replied after giving the college
yell 80 have l."
Sunday school Teacher-Now, wnat Is the strik-
ing feature I'm the story OF Jonah and the wnaIe!
Pup.I-They separated account OF mutual IN
patbility.-CIroy Iimes
writer In 1.-The Month says II find IN re-
cent number OF The Athen@um' this little aoVer-
tisement: Wanted. easy literary WORK Tor spare
hours Cantab, care Of ). j. lzard esq etc' III
another London paper find this: AS mouse par
lor maid. twenty four, good waiting and needle
work neat no fringe abstaner, go to suburbs
etc The average American may not Know What
no fringe means, but any one who has ever oeen
in London particularly in recent years ana mas
seen the fringe curled bangs that the maid ser
wants and shopgirls wear. will not wonder that
girl who mas no fringe should advertise that fact.
The following from the 'Personal coiumh oi i"e
Times is weirdly obscure
Gods Adversaries!
They slay the Christ. quote Scripture TOT H.
Then curse all who dare to DOUBT H. ,,...
Reys Y Y ' ''ea''F'' "''''' ''''
A summer school for the employees OF machine
shops and operators of cotton machinery tempora-
rilv out OF work has been opened In Lowell Mass
under the direction of Instructor Hedrck, ot the
Textile School. assisted by Machinist McDermott'
There are thlry-six pupils attenohs' Inc "i''
will continue two months.
YOU before part in an-anger forever.
She (sobbingly)-Wha-wh is 1T. Geo-George?
He-Wi-will you me-meet me next Ih-lhursday
She-I wi-will George-CTit-Bits.
The Woman's Christian Temperance Union oo-
served last Monday day OF special prayer 10
prevent the Women's Temple, Chicago. from pass
ing into the hands Of Marshall Field, VINO hods
$500 900 mortgage on It, Mr.. Field has promised 10
give $4,000 II payment is made before the first OF
the year.
Economy.-"I would stop drinkin'." said Mr..
Lushforth but can't afford to- -
Cant afford to?' echoed the man VINO was cor
mo. Stop drlnkn'. wife would get new hat
New-hic-hat have to have new dress 10 ina'cn 4 u;
t'ave?"-( Indianapolis Journal.
"1,ha Historical Christians is the name OF n new
no,i,ical party In Holland. They are moderate
Calvinists who favor secular rather than religious
education in the public schools.
EucIdation n-Teacher-Tommy. can you more
fully explain the adage, "Od men Tor couhe' an"
Tommy-It means that the old men do the quar-
reng and then let the young men do the hght-
ing.-(ndianapols Journal
The following dog story comes from Toronto:
"One morning not long ago my sister went 10 see
a friend who lived a mile so from the rectory.
taking with her little brown cocker spaniei.
When she left she quite forgot the dog, and as
soon as our friends discovered him they did all
they could to make him leave. but with no avail.
Some hours passed and he was still there 80 they
telephoned to let US know his whereabouts. Bring
him 10 the telephone said my sister. One OF the
bows held him. while another put the trumpet to
the dogs ear Then my sister whistled and called.
Come home at once. Paddy Immediately he
wrggled out OF the boys arms. rushed at the door.
barking to get out. and shortly afterward arrived
panting at the rectory. This is what might be
called a modern dog story. Is II notT
Here" said the editor. this won't do. The
ruined gambler was as a man OF ice It is post
III is not" dlssented the novelist on salary. II
meant TO convey the idea that no matter how badly
broke he was, ne remained cool"-Indianapolis
journal
There is a woman's Christian Temperance Union
woman In Chicago who refuses to join her sisters In
praying for money the Woman's Temple
from being sold to satisfy a mortgage She says
that II the women hadn't erected big building for
which they hadn't the money to pay they would not
be Obliged now TO trouble the Lord about the
matter.
First Popuilst-I see some OF the railroads are
Second Populs,-They Are sh' Their Then tsy they ought
free. too-jest to even up things'-Puck'
Two Oklahoma editors are aghting over the Ques-
ton as to whether II Is proper to say that every
body ia happy" or Everybody are happy" One
OF the disputants broueht the discussion 10 close
the other day by saying: You are liar: nobody
happy
II pity a man who In not beloved by children"
wear a linen suit all day and look respectabla"-
Chicago Record