davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
Old nnid.' COngress.

'You are respectfully requested 10 At
tend a Congress of Old Maids, to be held
I'm WASHINGTON some time during the fan.
"WiI you. I'm sending your acceptance
Of this Invitation. kindly name a date
which Will be convenient to yourself
and YOUR enearements-for holding such
congress.
'Piease mention your willingness 20 CO.
operate with the committee or arrange
ments and your sympathy and interest
in it,"
This diplomatic little note lay I'm dupll-
cate I'm sealed envelopes ready for mall
ing upon the desk OF one Of tho workers
in the recent Congress for Mothers just
held in Washington.
"Two-thirds OF the speakers in the con-
eress OF Mothers" said the nimple niue
woman having the new invitations in
charge were single women. They
wrote Miss before their names. And,
contrary TO the wishes OF Mrs Amelia
Barr Will continue 70 write Miss until
they die. no matter how old or how rich
they may live % be.
Now we propose. since the single wo-
man is such a factor. to have congress
Of old maids. one which will be COM
gress Of single women and no make-he-
lleve. Not a married woman will be
either present or on the programme.
ALONG LIST.
The invitations were addressed 10 n
long list of women. headed by Miss Fran
ces Willard and ending with Mary French
Field. the l9-yelr-old daughter Of Eu-
gene Field
The three tests brought TO bear upon
every personal case were:
First. The purpose of the woman 10
live single all her life.
Second. Her age. which should be
around 30.
Third. Her sympathy and cooperation
with the congress.
One Of the mot eligible names In the
list was Miss Helen Gladstone, born in
1919. who IS on'ering her 10Th year ana
completing her 5th year as vice-principal
Of Newman College. Long. gaunt. SOL
emn and silent, she is the typical old maid
OF olden days clever when so disposed,
witty. good ana capable. She is the IDEAL
new woman and consequently tho best
of an for the Old Maids Congress.
There IS Rosa Bonl eur whose fond
ness for unmarried women amounts 10
such admiration that in her pictures She
will sketch no others. IF these can be
found TO pose for her heroines.
And there IS Mamie Dickens. who lives
alone i'm Dunton Rectory Brentwood. Is
sex. in company with her nearly CD years,
her cat ana canary bird.
And over there also IS Marie Corelh. the
little Venetian writer. who confesses that
she does not know how old she is-nor
care,
DO was proposed TO hold the Congress
on tho Other side Of tho water. oui Of re-
ard for tie many cold girls over there.
and the respect I'm which they are held;
aud also o. catch both Clara Barton and
Frances Willard. who will be- there in the
fan. Dunt0n Rcctory. where Mamie
Dickens gathers her friends each rfter-
noon. was voted the ideal SPOT. But ideals
are hard 90 pursue.
on counting the list over # was found
that there are so many more old maids
on this side OF the ocean. and that they
were 80 much more talented that the
Congress doubled its possibilities Of suc-
cess by being booked for Washington.
And there was also the assurance that
The greatest Of the old maids would come
over.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
For the Small Person.

Mrs. Chandler, the wife of Commodore
Chandler Of the navy. had dl one lmc IL
Mttle negro hoy for whom the laules or
the family found IL rather difhcult 10 pro-
vide emplOymcnt one day when Mrs.
Chandler was busy Johnny was sent INTO
the next room with instructions TO take
his slate and pencil and write letter 10
his mistress. Presently the boy called
out: please. missus. Us got IT wrote. IL
SAYS: Dear Missus. kin ] 20 down 10 the
tennis court and see them play tennis
Respectfully yours, Johnny. Mls.
Chandler was not ready TO admit nm ana
called TO the boy: ION, well. write me a
postscript" This time there was s-
fence so prolonged that finally she went
into the room 10 investigate. No boy
was 20 be seen. but on the slate under
meath the message nc had first called
out was written. "P. 81 have went.
A writer for children advises them al
ways 10 take time 20 say: II thank you
instead of thanks" and relates the fol-
lowing incident OF Bancroft. the historian.
''Mr Bancroft did not like TO hear any
one say Thanks instead OF Il thank
YOU Many OF the children OF Washing
ton who went 10 see him would say
Thanks when he gave them anything.
ono day after the word had been used 30
often that n iiritatcd him little fellow OF
ten called for his autograph. There was
a talk about American history. the auto
graph given and the boy invited 10 cali
again
THE little boy told his mother tina. 10
was n beautiful visit The brilliant
scholar and courteous gentleman OF The
old school said 10 friend. speaking OK
the two calls. That little man attracted
me more than / can tell. With perfect
HAYWOOD ana naturalness. ne ....~ the adj
dress OF "a gentleman, and as he leit me.
with cap ia one hand and the the other
fucked confidently IN mine he said.
Thank you. sir IN the old-fashioned way
OF my own boyhccd.
II seems that the boy king OF Spain has
distinctly developed ideas as % his own
royal dignity and not long ago admins
tered a rcbuke 10 his DISTINGUISHED sub
tect and the descendant OF Columbus. the
Duke OF Veragua.
Seeing Alfonso at play one day in the
garden OF the royal palace the duke went
M 70 him and holding out his hand said:
"How do YOU do AlfonsinoY' But the
small king drew back. glanced froezingy
st the nobleman and answered. 'Senor,
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21

one summer day not long ago.
Twas in vacation time ! know,
We took our dinners. Jack and l.
Some sugar cookies and some pie
And with our hickory crossDows stout
We bravely for the woods set out.
The sun was hot. Jacks face was req
As any turkey gobbler's head.
And he said mine was ike a piece
of flannel with a coat of grease.
But we both laughed. and didn't care,
Ard let the wind blow through our hair,
And gave a shout. and ran until
We reached the bottom OF the hill.
Just where the trees begin TO throw
Their shadows on the grass below
And there we played at Indian; then
We ate awhile and played again.
And by and by path we found
That through the forest wound ana
wound.
Jack said il was an Indian trail.
But I said Cows" Then Jack grew. pale,
Got awful mad. and wouldn't bulge
Until Id hOilcred "pshaw!' and "fudge!"
\ dozen times or SO. and then
We wandered on and on again,
Till suddenly a fash OF light
Before US cleaned on something white,
And We both felt cold shivers run
Clear down our spincs IL WASH fun
"A ghost" / cried The wind swept by;
We thought we heard "a mOurnful sigh,
And fled as though with wild appeals,
a score of ghosts We're az our heels.
But courage soon returned, and Jack
Declared aloud I'm going back"
So back we crcpt. still half afraid,
Through strips of shine and plots Of shade
Until before us suddenly
There stood. as plain as plain could be,
Our dreadful ghOst-a white birch tree!
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
Srrange and CURIOUS Facts.

A mustard plaster made with the white
of an egg will not leave a blister.
This years mustard crop in California
amounts 10 100000 pounds.
The name Niagara" is OF Indian origin
and signifies "Thunderer Of the Waters
The only wcman's face that has ever
adorod United states paper money is
tina. Of Martha Washington.
i g estimated by naturalists that there
are not less than 10000 varieties OF plants
already known and classified.
II IS estimated by competent autho-i-
tc shat $4,000 tons of water tumble over
Niagara every minute day and night.
The roots Of the yucca are extensively
used as a substitute for soap I'm many
parts of Mexico and Central America.
A train OF American cars has been put
on the Southeastern Railroad in England.
on the line between London and Hast
ings.
A curiously shaped plant growing in
Arizona and other desert regions OF the
great southwest is called "Our Lords
Candcstick.'
Irish IS still generally spoken throughout
q considerable part Of the west Of ireland.
There are six schools in which the Lam
guage IS taught.
Natures whisky factory IS an insec-
tivorous plant. it's blossom being a small
pitcher filled with q fluid which inroa-
Gates flies. enats. and other insects. They
sip and sip again. become intoxicated.
fall into the fluid. where their bodies
are dissolved and absorbed.
In the long arctic nights there is a
constant difficulty in keeping awake.
Glcely had 20 make very strict rules TO
keep his men awake during the long
arctic night. Beds We're not allowed TO
be made and the men were compelled 10
get up and move about.
Christmas trees were unknown I'm En-
gland until the reign Of Queen Victoria.
After the present Prince OF Wales had
become or years old Prince Albert or.
namontcd q Christmas tree for the infant
prince. The idea pleased the people and
as Christmas trees were every year made
q feature of the court celebration the
fashion soon spread among the Eng
lish.-Boston Globe.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
For Our Bows and Girls.

on the FIRST SUNDAY in APRIL
we want to PUBLISH THE PlCIbhfS
Of ONE or TWO or OUR BOYS ana
GIRLS. NOW WHOSE SHALL TtEI
BE? THAT DEPENDS ON WHO StNl,SS
THE PHOTOGRAPHS ALONG MyS
PROMPTLY. WE THINK OUR chill
DREN MUST BE a BRIGHT AID
NICE LOT WELL WORTH LOOklNG
AT. 50 DON'T FORGET YOU saw
LAST SUNDAY WHAT THE MATCH
PRIZES ARE TO BE. THEY AXE
SPLENDID" SAYS SOMEBODY. iOOh
AT TIE HEAD OF THE PUZZLE COL
INN TO-DAY. AND THOSE WHO llD
NOT SEE LAST SUNDAY IAiEk
MAY FIND ALL ABOUT THEM TO
DAY. LAST MONTHS PRlLLS HANE
BEEN ORDERED FOR MASTER BEl,-
NARD SCOTT AND MISS MARY SC-NES.
WHEN THEY COME. LET Us KNOW
THAT LIKE THOUGHTtO1 GULL
DRDN. WE HAVE no ASK Ilib
VERY LITTLE PEOPLE WHO SIM
rs ANSWERS TO THE PUZZLES, 10
TRY AND WRITE JUST a LIEII-'t
MORE DISTINCTLY. WE KNOW n. 5
HARD TO WRITE AT ALL. Miii,NN
YOU'RE JUST BEGINNING, BUI nov
ABOUT GETTING MOTHER OK Ia
THER. OR BIG SISTER TO cory
T'UEM FOR YOU? TRY THAT. WE'RE
ALWAYS GLAD TO HEAR PROM You
ALL HOWEVER AND ARE GLAD TO
KNOW THAT OUR LITTLE PEOPLE
ENJOY THEIR PAGE ....
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
le-DECAPITATTON.


Though man has made me just 10 bear
Ills burdens for him. oft share
My brother lifts, TO make II even;
A sOuless drudge I'm counted here,
Yet once. It's said a holy seer
Boheld me on my way 10 heaven.
Remove my head, my task IS still
To wait upon my owners will
And stll my brother tolls with me;
I'm mentioned in the Bible first
When God. i'm righteous anger cursed
Edens ashamed and sinful three.
Remove my head, I've Yet n head
That serves me perfectly instead,
But not foot nor arm. It's clear;
No more my days q earth are spent,
But in the sea / live, content
Since Providence has placed me mere!
MABEL i.
41.-SYLLABLE PUZZLE.
From nine words from the twenty-three
syllable given. repeating any syllable as
often as required.
EL-ER-MA-CUT-LO-POL-LE-A-O-EST-
acknowledgements
TRI-NP-NE-EN-RI.
]. A city in India. q A celebrated as
tronOmor 8. A peak Of the Himalayas.
T. \ lake i'm Russia. g. An aquatic ami
NAL. o. A heather deity. T. A city in
Austria. s. A great artist. 3. y useful
book
The initials read downward and the
finals upward. are Identical, and form the
name of celebrated queen.
E.-ANAGRAM.
OF boys and girls ] long for many,
And having them. am gay as any
AViaTy,
And 'mong the girls who honor me,
Ii would be strange If / should be
SINE MARY. T. II.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
Hats for Easter,

Novel shapes. vivid colors and striking
contrasts characterize the spring hats.
which are already beginning TO arrive
from Paris.
Ribbons which tho ADVANTAGE OF nei-
thcr dropping in the dampness like tea-
theirs nor fading in the sunshine after the
fashion Of even the most expensive flow
ers will be used in profusion in richest
hucs and tied I'm tho oldest boWs-st once
tho envy and despair of the amateur mill
liner.
Aigrettcs still remain. but are no long
or stlly erect They are fuller and
longer and curl softly in different direc-
lions.
The old-time theory that the Easter hat
must Doe I'm harmony with the season,
must tell Of the advent OF spring by the
delicate shades employed by the flowers
selected and the use Of lighter materials,
is not 10 be relied upon this season. In
stcd Of anemones. daffodils, and daisies.
the most ultra-fashionable hat of 1897,
is 10 be adorned with holly berries. dark
green ivy leaves. or. at best. the mid
summer dark velvety pansy.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
OLD MAIDS
AND DON'T CARE
Who Knows It-Comlng Congress Of Them
Invitations Now Out.
The Girl for Him.


The poets sing OF Hebes fair.
OF bonnie lassies debonnaire:
They sonnets pen 10 golden hair.
Which all delight to con:
The darlings OF sweet poesy
] doubt not all these charmers he.
But that dear woman give to me
Who sews my buttons on
I once would muse before the fire.
Ny trousers held by bits OF wire;
/ know not why-I don't inquire
These ] was forced TO don:
But life has now no sad regret,
] bless my little useful pet,
The darlingcst / ever met,
Who sows my buttons on!
These little hands. so small ana white'
SO true and nimble, TO my sight
Are evermore a pure dehght.
4 Joy to dwell upon!
The way they mend n buttonhoiel
And how the needle they control.
l love the girl with all my soul
who sews ms buttons on!
The useful and the sweet are mine.
All folded In those hands divine!
What need that | should now repineF
A garment whole / don.
So let tho poets pen their rhyme
And praise the girls Of every cline
l her oxtol who all the time
Doth sew my buttons on
New York Evening Journal
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
The Little German Band.

Hurrah, the little German bihu ndS '"''e
to town once more, 49,. .,.e,.
Inst see them in their uniforms Us ''e1
pass by the door, 81 Y,o
They stop upon the COMET an" 'i'~
children gather near, a.. ,,.,,
And eagerly they crowd around Inc hu-
sic sweet 10 hear. "A ..o,.,
IT'S "ToOile-te -tOotle-t@-too, anu Ooin-
te-tarty-tay, 49,. ..., ,,.,e,,
the band begins TO play.
There's Jimmy Lee gone mad with elee,
a-walking on his hands, 80.
And Kittie Brown Is WaltzlhS on tlie VAIN
with Johnnie Sands. .,,.,
And ali the babies in the block are 'ushed
That ihcv NAV share with others in he
rare and wondrous treat.
IT'S e-toOtle-te-too anu w ID"
How the children run TO zee the fun,
when the band begins 10 play!
And tie old folks. too. 'ook out from the
window or the docs. 49,.
And II almos. makes them feel as tho
fhev 100 were young once more.
And thev listen. and they smile, and ihey
nod their heads in time, 49,. 1910.
To the ripple and the rhyme OF tNc Hne'0N'
IT'S "Ttoootle,te-tootle-te-too" and loom
te-tarty-tay" 49,. ,,,
How the children run TO see the fun,
when the band begins TO pay!
The hats are passed. and up the street
a-marching then they go, e-,,-.,....
With half hundred children a-ioliowh6
in tow. - a..
And soon we hear the distant tune, III
faint and sOfened notes.
Like hazy dream of pleasure past as down
the breeze u floats. 49,
'Tis "tootle-te-toOtle-te-to and "Oom-
te-tarty-tay.' -
How the children run 10 see the luh'
when the band begins 10 play,
ARTHUR j. BURDlCA.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
How Grandfather LIGHTED His Candle.

Nowadays when YOU want a Hight in the
evening al you have TO do is 10 turn a
little peg and the electric lamp begins TO
glow. Gas and oil lamps are only "a little
more trouble. But il was very different
hundred years ago. The lighting of
candle was a complicated process. and
took u great deal of time and skill.
First, there was the finder box. PrOba-
bly, you have heard Of house burning
like finder" but do you know what tim
der really is? our grandfathers made II
by lighting q piece OF cOtton-clOth at the
fireplace ana allowing 1t to char. This
was placed IN a shallow. round tin box,
something like the box now used for shoe
backing.
Matches were made by splitting thin
pieces OF wood into many pieces ana ty-
ing them together in round bundles. Then
when the birthstone. the old name for
sulphur. was broken up and melted both
ends of these bundles Of sticks were
dipped into IT, Thus old-fashioned matches
were burned at both ends.
In lighting a lamp or candle the tinder-
box was opened, then the flint and steel
struck together. dropping a spark on the
finder. into which one end Of the match
was put as quickly as possible and the
candle lighted. This done. the cover was
shut down on the Undertook 10 smother
the lighted finder and 10 save II. The
match was also eXtineuishcd at once, 10
use the good end next time
And by the time the candle was lighted
supper was ready. Weren't those slow
old days2
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
One AiicrnOOn.


Papa and mamma went out 10 row.
And left MS three al home, you know
Rodcfick, James, and me.
my dcars.' they said, nov play with
your toys,
Like dear little, good little. sweet little
boys
And we will come home to tea"
We played with our toys the longest
while.
We built up tho blocks for nearly a mile
Rodcrick. James, and !;
But when they came tumbling down alas!
They fell right against the lookinS-glass-
., how the pieces did ny!
Then we played the stairs were an Alpine
peak
And down we slid with shout and with
Shrek
Roderick. l. and James;
But Jim caught his jacket upon a tack
And ! burst the buttons all OFF my back,
And RoderiCk called US names.
Then we found pillow that had rip,
and an the feathers We out did slip
ROderick. James. and J.
And We made a snOwstorm, q glorious
one.
All over the room. o. wasn't IT fun,
As the feathcry flakes did fly!
But Just as tho storm was raging round,
Papa and mamma came IN. and found
R0dcrick, James, and me;
O. terrible terrible things they said,
And they put US all three right straight
10 bed
with. the empty pilow-case under our
head:
And none Of us had any tea.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21
Little Prince Who wouldn't Wash.

Little princes arc much like other chill
drcn. The son of the crown prince OF
Prussia did not like 10 be washed in the
morning. and DE often made great fuss
about IT,
ono day his governor reported him 10
his father. VERY wcl' said the crown
prince. after this let him go unwashcd."
So the next morning the prince did not
have his face washed. nor his hands. and
hc went ont 10 walk with his governor.
feeling proud to think that he had got his
own way.
Around the palace OF the prince there
were many soldiers who watched TO see
that no harm came 10 the royal family.
These soldiers always salutcd the chill
drcn whenever they went by. This
time. however. the first soldier the lit
tie prince passed stood still and straight.
and did not salute. The prince looked dis
pleased. but said nothing. Presently ne
came 10 another soldier. but he also stood
stll and did not salute. When the walk
was finished and they had passed many
soldiers. none OF whom paid any attention
10 the prince the little fellow dashed into
his father cNclaiming.
Papa papai You must whip all your
soldiers. They refuse to salute me when 4
pass
All my SON." said the crown prince.
"they do rightly. for clean soldiers never
salute a dirty little prince"
After that he took a shower bath every
morning.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21

He-Maria, why do you so to the trou-
bic to homstitch the cover for that chir-
fonier an the way around? You always
turn the back part under. don't you2 Il
seems TO me women do the foolishest
things--
shc-What are you doing TO that necktie
OF YOURS John?
Helm shortening it a couple Of inches
Its too long.
She-Plain string tie. isn't it?
He-Ycs.
She-And you have gone TO the trouble
Of shortening IL an inch at each end.
when you could just as wei have cut
the TWO inches off one end.
He-Great Scott SO L have.-Chicago
Tribune.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21

put by the half-writtcn poem.
While the pen. idly trailcd IN my hand
Writes on. had words 10 complete H.
who'd read e. or who'd urderstand'
But the little barefoot on the stairway,
And the faint, smothorcd laugh IN the
hail.
And the ccrie-low lisp in the silence.
Cry up TO mo over IL all.
So gathered It up-whorc was broken
The toar-fadcd thread Of my theme
Telling how, as one night / sat "Ii'i's'
a fairy broke IN on my dream
little inqusitivo fairy
NV own little girl with the goid
OF the sun in her hair, ana the ov"y
Blue eyes Of the FAIRIES OF ola.
Twas the dear little girl that l scolded-
For was IT a moment like this
I said. when she knew I was busy
To come romping in for a KISS =
Como rowdving ID from her mother,
And clamorlnc there on my Knee
For zone little kiss for my doliy'
And one little uzzor for me-
God pity the heart that repeHed her'
Ana tho cold land that turned her away
And take. from the lips That denied her
This answcrless prayer or to-otS.
Take. Lord. from my mem'ry forever
That pitiful sob Of despair
And the patter and trip of the niue pare
feet. ,
And the one piercing cry on the star!
I put by the half-wrtten poem
While the pen. IDLY traled III my manu-
writes on chad words TO complete 81.
who'd read It. or who'd understand?'
I'm. the little pare feet on the stairway.
Ana the faint, smothered laugh in the
hall
And the ecrie-low lisp in the silence,
Cry up to me over it all
James Whtcomb Riley.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21

iump. wide awake. The quickest way
of arousing even a sound sleeper Is 10
Law cool hand on his forehead,
with cats. however, II rs dIIielen ~,
Sight. hearing taste. and touch may a..
go to sleep and sleep very souluis, . ~
the cats sense OF smell never 80 $780, ~,
Some of you who have pet cats VIII ll IN,
lots of fun In experimenting wltn tne ~;
When puss Is fast asleep get a JUICY DIT
Of meat or a mouse and very quietly p,aVS'Yg
n near her nose. Instantly her eyes WIh
pop open and she will be ready for dih-
urr.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-03-21

You're looking pale" said Grover.
You're looking stout said She;
My worry is most over
Responded Grover G..
"We're having lots of freezes"
Remarked the one-time Queen;
Said be. "Such heavy brscZes
I'm sure I've rarely seem
Wei, there, 1 must be going"
Said she OF visagc brown.
And is there any NnoWing
When next you'll be go town.
She dropped her eyes so dreamy
"I cannot tell" said She.
"Bo sure TO come and see me
Goodbye said Grover G.
Cleveland Plain Dealer