The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-10
HE PLAYED BARBER.
SHAVED A DEAD MOONSHlNER, AND
THERE WAS NO "NEXT."

cling Man Accepted, but Now Sells
Over Another Route.
"It was in Tennessee, said the trav-
cling man, cit happened, on one of
those back country roads which was
travelling on my way to town where
had fine list of customers. The night
was closing in, and l was wondering
how long it would take me to reach a
place where l could spend the night.
knew that was among the moonshin-
ers, for the jug on stump with the
money under it was in evidence along
the road. I had no thought of being
molested in that country, where the
only warfare is against the revenue
officers, and no one would have suspect
ed me Of completely with the govern
ment.
"A slight noise startled my horse,
and 1 leaned out of the buggy to look
into the chamber of a revolver, At the
same time I saw two figures, one on
each side of me, and, checking my
horse, l tried to assume bravado l
was far from feeling as l asked:
We'll, gentlemen, what is your will
with me?'
"You can imagine my surprise when
boyish voice asked:
kin you shave yourself?'
~ answered that l always shaved
myself. Without lowering his revolver
he looked across me to his pal on the
other side.
"'He uns will do, Jim. Hop in an
I'll lead the horse
Having made up my mind not to be
dragged off in any such ignominious
manner, said:
"'If you are going to shoot me.
suppose must give up my life, as am
unarmed. If it is money you want, r.
"'Tell him, Jim, said the one who
was leading my horse
Eyer won't be killed nor robbed nor
nothin, if yer don't try ter give us the
slip. Shet your mouth now, mister, an
you'll know more right soon.
"We must have gone mile before
we came to a turn in the road that
brought us out in front of cabin much
larger than any had seen that day in
my travel. A woman stood at the door
crying
'Hev yer foun somebody, boysT she
asked anxiously.
"'Yep, norm, an he'll do the job up
slick 'thout askin much pay
II wondered if l was to be compelled
to murder some one, The boys were
beardless mountain loafers-I had met
their type often, but never knew them
to be desperadoes
II was shown into the cabin by the
woman, one Of the boys following with
the revolver, while the other waited to
fasten the horse to a scrub oak. l saw
figure stretched on settle, and the idea
flashed into my mind that 1 was mis-
taken for doctor
I am not medical man. began
to explain, when the woman cut me
short.
"'You uns nd been tew late eff
you uns was doctor. He passed outen
afore daylight, an it's mother kind of
job we wanter hev done. Yer see, we
uns is a goin tew hev the biggest fun rel
evan was in these yeah pants, an we
wanter hev the ole man shaved fob the
fust time, an there amt a man no.
where aroun as shaves hisself or emmy
body else.
1.-THE revulsion of feeling which came
over me was not altogether pleasurable,
for did not fancy the idea of playing
barber to dead man, but when looked
at the cadaverous countenance and
tangled gray beard of the deceased felt
a sort Of professional pride in making
him look more like mortal being and
less like wolf. | had always been an
abstainer from strong drink, but | filled
up on crude spirits that would have
killed me on an ordinary occasion and
tackled my silent customer with a fe
verish and hysterical alacrity This was
In part due to the close proximity of
the two boys and their revolvers. But
as soon as | had the old mountaineer
shaved the revolvers were laid aside and
was treated with the utmost hospi-
tally. The work itself had not been
half as gruesome as l had imagined,
and | had to fight ludicrous tempta-
ton to pour barber talk into the deaf
ears He was such an improvement over
himself when alive-as judged by the
family lingo-that l wanted to ask him !
to look in mirror / declined the fee |
rendered me by the boy Jim, and, sup
piled with jug of moonshine whisky,
was set in the right road and per-
mitted to leave.
Il found it true that in all that COM
munlty not man had ever been shaved,
and 1t was only in Difference to within
of the old mountaineer, expressed on
his deathbed, that he was made such a
curious exception. l did not mention
my part in the transaction until was
far beyond that county line, for was
not sure that, precedent being set,
they might not again demand my serv-
ices, and another salesman has that
route. "-Chicago Times Herald.