Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1897-05-13

To answer to thy questions, Cali is well''?
Perchance in heaven.
Verses Grave and Gay.
A THOUGH he had, in addition
Il to local habitation, name Of
Il \ his own-Peter Dunn to-wit-
he was always known as "the man
that married Mary" BY profession he
was q plumber Of some repute-that is
to say, he knew by heart the meander-
ings and idiOsyncraSies of every drain
in the village; and he added to this ex-
perience knowledge, for he had the
sense to carry about with him such
white lead as was necessary to the full
fillment of his calling, instead Of ex-
pecting the same to grow wild in every
we'll ordered household false eX-
pectation which obtains among plumb
ers. For six days of the week he
plumbed, but on the seventh Cor rather
the tirst he dressed himself in a lit
tie brief authority and sort of black
nightgoWn, and stood revealed to the
eyes Of an admiring village as the
verger of the parish church. 1t was
impressive to see him conduct to such
seats as he deemed meet for them the
strangers within his gates, and the
way wherein-during the anthem-he
distributed the almsbags among the
recipients for whom they were reserv-
ed was a function in itself. On one
memorable occasion, when performing
this last mentioned rite, he stumbled
over top hat, placed in the aisle by
some unWary stranger, sent it spin
ming up the church. and staggered aft
er it in hot pursuit. For one awful
moment it seemed that the pillars of
Church and State were alike trem-
bling; then the worthy verger righted
himself, restored the stumbling block
to it's owner, and concluded the func-
ton, to the unfeigned delight Of the
sons Of the rector, who longed ever
afterWard to present testimonial to
the unknown author of the catastro
phe. The inhabitants of Cheriton did
not wear top hats, and if they had
they would have known better than to
place such obstacles in the path Of the
just; so the rector's boys concluded
that some alien brow had been, SO to
speak, the head and front of the Of
Tending, and they blessed that brow
accordingly, and never forgot the great
Kickoff at O'clock" as they called
it.
But all these paltry honors and dig
mites paled beside the fact that Peter
Dunn ("plumbing verger'' or ''verging
plumber" whichever one was pleased
to dub him), was above all things "the
man that married Mary" Beside this
GROWING distinction all meaner hon
ors sank into insignificance. Mary had
been the reigning beauty of Cheriton
for more years than she would have
cared to confess to, when she arrived
at the conclusion that leading apes
was not so satisfactory an occupation
as marrying plumbers, and so decided
to espouse her devoted adorer, Peter
Dunn, who had regularly proposed to
her every Saturday afternoon for
we'll, at least $50 Saturdays, at the
lowest computation. With her office
as reigning beauty of Cheriton Mary
Mills had combined the duties OF vii
lage schoolmistress. She was good
girl, and did her work we'll, but she
had no natural love of teaching, and
she was very thankful at last to lay
her occupation aside and become Mrs.
Peter Dunn instead. Mary felt (as in
deed did all the village, Peter includ-
ed that she had conferred an unspeak-
able favor upon her husband in marry
ing him, and to the day OF her death
she treated him more as King CON-
sort than as a verger and plumber IN
his own right, which he undoubtedly
was, for Mary was what the villagers
call "genteel,'' and founded her ideas
of men and Mamen upon the heroes
and heroines of such silly and senSa-
tienal novels as came in her way, and,
Judged according to that standard, Pc
ter certainly fell short of ideal man
hood. AS long as she lived Mary meas
ured Peter by these stupid measure
ments and found him short and plain.
and commonplace and rough manner
cd: afterward she probably learned to
measure him according ito the measure
of q nnan-that is. OF the angel-and
discovered that her plain little plump
or was more of a heiO than all the
men of straw she had delighted to
read abonrt in the foolish days of her
flesh. but of this we have, OF course,
no record. Foor Mary. however, VIII
not be the only one who will find the
standards of this world an wrong IN
the light of the next one, ard there is
enuch comfort in this thought.
But. though she looked down upon
fasm on account of his rOugneT man
ners and infeeior education. Mary
Damn was sincerely attached TO ner
eo0d little husband, and suceeedeM III
making the few years she was spared
to blsn years of radiant bliss Tor &c
ter. AS for him, fle simply w0fshap-
ed the ground on which his wiI .4 "ai ~
eded. Mary had a younger sister %
whom she was in0rdinateiy pfoan'
who was q governess in a gentleman's
family sine was, according to Mary,
1ouite the lady" and would, SO Mary
thought, consider it a degraua..on -
1,nrno fUe DunHS