The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-07-23
Daily Eagle
NJ. NJ. MURDOCH, Editor.
EAT GREASE.


The editor of the FL Dorado Republi-
can, after much Thoughtful research
and years of observation, has evidently
arrived at the conclusion that the mas
culine effeminacy and the feminine de-
seneracy Of a generation distinctive for
It's puny infants and frequent funerals,
is clearly attributable TO fin de steele
gastronomy. He therefore makes the
uneuuivocal and unqualified declaration
that "Meat and grease are the things
to eat Nobody amounts to anything
who lives on fruits and vegetables
There is not enough energy in wagon
load OF fruit or vegetables TO give one
an idea above a gooseberry. People
who live on fruit and garden truck
get but little out of life; and they al
WAYS look clam-fishy and Watery in a
cofn,''
With III is fundamental starter he
nroceeds ". 18th vast range OF culinary
naraphernaE. emitting nothing frCn
q bill of fare. Of hog and honliny, Il
menu of ragou I and blue milestone
nuraa from a f. ,icasee and pie OF meat
to deieuner OF Bible mamma and 10
Gusts, but eyiden lily overlooking Inc
Scriptural observation that better is
q dinner of herbs and contentment
Herewith than a stalled OK" EscheW-
ing the esculant and comestlble Gu
cumher and the dietetic cereal, he holds
to the grub of grease, to- the fat OF the
kline. the oil of the fish, the cream OF
the milk. paranthetically prescribing
< IF the baby is puny and scraWny, and
has pains or aches, give 1T fat meat
Hog meat, if you please. If you are
going to the north pole, take grease
and tea along If you are going to 1--we
under the equator. abjure fruits and
vegetables as you would diet OF thou
sand legged worms"
Kings and statesmen, poets ana au-
thors are rounded up in his greasy bah
ulum and oily commisSariat The stan
of Life of the best of them had grease
for a basis. NebuchadneZar fell down
when he took 10 grass along with MS
billygoats. The Eagle that scars, the
lion that roars. the knocking blSdS ana
prima donnas that sing, live on meat,
Patti consuming 4 half-pound of fiat
dab Frankfurter sausage every morn
ing. Grant ate fried bacon and hard
tack; Shakespeare washed down rat
mutton-chop with Scotch whisky; BY
ron wrote best when full of ham and
gin; Tom Reed and Mckinley eat meat
and fish three times day, and ingalls,
would have gone back TO the senate
had he not attempted to live on oatmeal
and Goldfish. Hay-SOup and corn-fodder
tea are failure either as food or
diet He might have added that the
power of the Pop party Is clearly
traceable to its pork-eating and hog
gish proclivities. A woman who lives
on vegetables is as cold as turnip and
as clamp.y as a fish. The boy or man
whose belly-timber consists of oats,
corn. clIcumbers and other livestock
food is not il it with pork-eating and
beef-stuffed men and boys. Pie is only
passable because Of the grease in its
crust, and is improved still farther by
cream and butter. The patriarchs
poured grease all over themselves, and
the last thing that Isaac called for was
a venison pot-pie. even if he did get
only mutton. It's the grease on wo-
mans lips that's Sweet-there Is no
taste TO dry lips.
These are but a few of the lubricating
facts and Oleaginous illustrations en-
ployed by the unguent and sebaceous
editor of the Republican to prove that
so far as life and its battles, love and
its sweets are concerned, grease Is the
sine qua non.