davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
a BAD COMPANION.
lie Didn't Like to Correct Lady, But
He Had To.

The man with bronzed skin and longish
hair was hanging upon every word that the
charming young woman spoke. She was
telling of an actress whom she greatly ad-
lnired.
Il will never forget how she looked" the
young woman said. She was as beautiful
ns Juno"
The weather beaten auditor moved uneas-
lily, and then said: II beg yer pardon miss,
but amt sure that | heard yer remark jest
right"
II said that she was as beautiful as
Juno"
at amt fer me ter erect lady" he be-
gan in apologize tones.
II am quite willing to be corrected when
there is any reason for doubt" she replied
IN a tone with traces of congealment through
it. But | do not perceive how this can be
such case
Il don't persume to conterdict nobody"
he replied. Il haven't no observations to
make further than that there amt no ac-
cOuntm' fur tastes
''Have you ever seen this actress"
'No, miss
"Then l don't see how you are qualified to
speak,
might I make 50 bold as to inquire
whether YOU was ever as fur west as British
Columbla?'
"NeVer.'
'Then, miss. you cant re'lize that I'm
standin' up fur the lady's good looks as
much as You are. Ge cant believe half of
what these here miners that come east tell
We, IT We amt even been as fur as British
Columbia, 1T stan S to reason that We can't
have no idea of what a lonesome, ram.
shackle, frizup lookin' place Juneau is''-
WASHINGTON Star
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
UNEXPECTED RICHES,
One Man Who Played n Joke to tioou
ADVANTAGE

One Man VINO Played a Joke to Good
Advantage.
"A certain Spectator had need of a
large sum of money for his speculations
and found himself with very small
balance in the bank. He consulted a
friend as to how he could get over the
emergency. The friend suggested that
he should draw on somebody in another
city. The operator said that he knew
no one who owed him, and the friend in
simulated that that would make no diff
ference if the draft did not return too
soon.
The operator reflected for time and
then wrote cut draft on the sultan of
Turkey for $4,000 and deposited it in
the bank. The draft came into the
hands of the Rothschilds. who forward
ed 1t to Constantinople, and it was duly
presented to the sultan's chamberlain.
who is this MANI asked the cham
berlain of the sultan's treasurer.
Don't know him. replied the treas
urer.
do we owe him anything?" asked
the chamberlain.
No" replied the other.
Then don't pay it," decided the
chamberlain.
But if I might advise" said the
crafty treasurer. this draft comes
through the Rothschilds, with whom
we are negotiating loan. Would it be
safe, under the circumstances. to dis
honor it?'
Pay it, said the sultan's chamber
lain, and so the Spectator was 6 900
richer than he knew, to his own great
Observation-Disclosures Telegraph.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
MISCELLANEOUS ITEMS.

The hide of the hippopotamus, in
some parts. is two inches thick.
When a mosquito has gorged him
self with human blood he dies within a
few hours.
A single suntioWer stalk at Burns,
Kan. carried the unprecedented num-
Der of 233 blooms at one time.
A Pittsburgh company has secured
the contract for lighting London with
electricity. The plant will cost $780,
300.
The "cow tree of Venezuela gives
d fluid resembling, tasting like. and pos
sessine a close chemical affinity to COW S
milk.
The happiest negro in Bardstown,
Ky. is Plus Payne, who has grown this
season six tomatoes which together
weigh II pounds.
Lake City, Fla. has police force
which consists of one night Waterman
His only income is fine of 50 50. which
is paid by every person he arrests.
A humble bee stung Ike Williams.
of Catlettsburg, Ky. on the hand. His
arm and body swelled to twice their
natural size. and he died in As hours.
Francis Warlop, the cook of the
Lakeside club. Grand Rapids, Mich,
thought he could prepare toadstools to
make them dainty eating. He ate a
few of them and died.
A landslide occurred a short time
ago in Sattel, Switzerland. An inn and
its garden and outbuildings slid down
the hillside distance of 35 feet. with
out being in the least injured. Two
stately elms in the garden were also
moved without injury.
A fall from a scaffold at Watretown
Mass. caused the body of Joseph Nor
ris. bricklayer. to assume the rigiditN
Of death. 1t was conveyed to an under
takers room. and was being prepared
for burial when the supposed corpse
kicked the sides out of the coffin. arose
and walked home.
Harvey HOrner. of Sumner county
Kan, is an amateur snake charmer, and
sometimes carries reptile in his
pocket. While he was attending Cir
Gus at Wichita, a pickpocket slyly eX.
plored one Of his pockets, and screamed
like mailman when his hand came in
contact with a live bull snake.
Charley Chick. of Dayton. O.. has ;
wooden leg. While he was riding on q
train near Beifontaine. brakeman
fired a pistol at a colored man whom h.
was striving to force off the car. The
ball entered Chicks wooden leg anG
passed upwards into his stomach, caus
ing wound deemed to be fatal
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

At meeting of the ColOred Progress
slve association near Pan Handle, Tex.
the question of stealing chickens came
up for discussion. President Sinkiller
Jones offered a prize of box of cigars
to any colored man present who could
swear lie never stole a chicken. In the
midst of the discussion Deacon Abra-
ham Lincoln Jenkins entered the hall.
Deacon" said Jones. I'VE hab offered
a box OBJ cigars to de gem1nan wot neb-
Der made away wild de contents oh his
naybur's hennery. Kin yo' win de
prize?'
The deathlike stiffness of the assem-
blage was so great that II cents could
have been heard distinctly if dropped
on the floor.
The deacon was very much cmbar-
raised for moment. and finally said:
"Scuse me. gemmen, but | don't
smoke. N. Y. World
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
"MY WIFE'S LIFE"
How | was the means
of saving it.

When the lungs are attacked and the
symptoms of consumption appear, then
begins the struggle between affection and
that destroying disease which Stays its
thousands annually. 1t is a happy issue
to the struggle when disease is conquered
and health restored. Such an issue does
not always end the struggle but it did in
the case of Mr.. x. Morris, Memphis, Tenn.
who his wife wasting and weakening
and physicians helpless, and then sug-
gested the simple remedy that wrought
the cure. He tells the story thus:
"Seven years ago, my wife had severe
attack of lung trouble which the ply
sicians pronounced consumption. The
cough was extremely distressing, espe-
clally at night, and was frequently
attended with the splitting of blood. The
doctors being unable to help her, in
duced her to try DIR. Ayers Cherry Pectoral
and was surprised at the great relief it
gave. Before using one whole bottle she
was cured, so that now she is strong and
quite healthy. That this medicine saved
my. wite's life have not the least doubt
! always keep DR.. Ayers Cherry Pectoral
in the house. Whenever any of my family
have cold or cough we use it, and are
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

What man has done, woman car
undo.
Every girl has longing to be kissed
so hard it hurts
A woman will believe everything bad
she hears about her husband. or moth,
ing.
When a woman is most sure of havino
won a mans love is the time for her ia
study hardest how to keep it.
A homely man who is so sensitive
that he can't bear to look at a homely
woman is always sure that the hand
soonest women like to look at him.
Before woman gets married she
knows just what sort of man she will
make of her husband. Aftershe has been
married awhile she begins to wonder
what sort of a woman her husband is
going to make Of her,-N. Y. Press,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
promptly cured."-K. NORRIS Meu,,,.
Tenn. A"SwphlS,

promptly cured."-K. MORRIS, Memphis.
The question: ais CONSUMPTION crra
pie :" is still debated, and still debatabia
1t IS easy to say that this was not a case :;
consumption. Yet the physicians said " -
was: They should know. AS a matt.. ~
of fact, DR.. Ayers Cherry Pectorai No.
wrought 50 many similar cures th.. !,
seems TO argue the curableness of con.
sumption, in its earlier stages, bv the ns.
Of this remedy. There is no bette r,a ai
cine tor pulmonary troubles than Dr..
ayers She-ry Pectoral. 1t gives relief in
cases of Asthma, and Bronchitis, where va
lief has been heretofore unattainable. II
promptly cures Coughs and Colds, In
Grippe, and all affections of the throat
and lungs: Heretofore, DR.. Ayers Cherry
pectoral has been put up in full size
bottles only, at sI.oo per bottle. To meet
a worldwide demand for smaller pack.
age, the remedy is now put up in half si,s
bottles, at half price-5o cents. Write for
DR.. Ayers Curebook Gree and learn more
OF the cures effected by DR.. Ayers Cherry
Pectoral. Address J. c. Aver Co, Lowell
Mass.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

There is more Catarrh in this section of
the country than all other diseases put to-
gether, and until the last few years was
supposed to be incurable. For a great many
years doctors pronounced it local disease,
and prescribed local remedies, and by con-
stantly failing to cure with local treatment,
pronounced it incurable. Science has proven
catarrh to be constitutional disease, and
therefore requires constitutional treatment.
Hail. Catarrh Cure, manufactured by +. J.
Cheney 4 Co., Toledo, Ohio, is the only
constitutional cure on the market. 1t is
taken internally in doses from 10 drops to
teaspoonful. 1t acts directly on the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system. They
offer one hundred dollars for any case it
fails to cure. Send for circulars and testi
monials. Address F. j. Cheney & Co., To-
leGo, o. Sold by Druggists, 75c.
HALLS Family Pills are the best.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
MISTAKE IN DELIVERY.
Customer Lost Because of the Mer-
chants Versatility.

Queer things happen in suburban towns,
where the residents have a way OF utilizing
means at hand utterly regardless of the con-
sequences. Mrs. Simpson, a notable house
wife who lives IN one of these terrestrial
paradises, recently replenIshed her stock of
household furniture at the only depart
ment store in the place and ordered the
purchases sent home that afternoon when
she would be there to receive them.
She was in a particularly happy frame of
mind as she sat at her front window watch
ing for their arrival, remarking with salts
faction the vacant places the new furniture
would adorn, when an undertakers wagon
drove up and stopped in front of her door
and solemn looking driver in rusty black
descended from the front seat and rang her
bell. She did not lose a moment in raising
the window and calling to him in fright
ened voice:
GO away! You've stopped at the wrong
housel There isn't any body here.'
Il don't want a body. ma am, I've got
some things | was told to leave here, called
the man.
flake them back" she commanded, Il
tell you | won't have them. You ought to
be ashamed to stop here. What do you sup
pose the neighbors will think!''
'Wel, ma am said the man, as he
climbed on his wagon again, ''if you don't
want your new furniture, all right, but I've
got it inside
."And wouldn't take it as a gift, >" said the
distressed woman; the idea of bringing my
goods in an nndertaker's wagon
1--WE hadn't another vehicle in the barn
and YOU said you wanted it right off, re
sponded the man as he drove away
But the man of many callings who had
utilized the last conveyance in his establish
ment lost the sale of the furniture and the
good will of a customer who did not appre-
cate such mortuary nterprise.-Chicago
Timac IIoro11
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Hc-Oh, of course. dear. it is all right for
yen TO eat onions if YOU like them, and I'm
not the one to stop you; but, | declare, it's
hard work to stand it.
She-Well, | don't blame YOU. Harry. for
after eat them | can hardly stay where
am myself-,Iudge
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
Great EyDcctatiOns,

Pauline-If | marry you will you agree not
10 do anything to displease me?
Ten Broke-Certainly; If marry YOU
don't expect to do anything at all.-N. Y.
Journal
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

| can recommend Piso's Cure for Con-
SUMPTION to sufferers from Asthma-E d.
Townsend, TT. Howard Wis, NAV 4, '94.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

1t is hard for a man to pass money that he
sees lying on the sidewalk especially if it
Is Chicago News
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

We are liable to be most miserable ex.
pcctlng troubles that never come.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

When man tells you what q wo,.
poker player YOU are, that man j. " nIffui
to enjoy life at your expense pErahanlns
News - SnEago
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

To Cure n Cold in One
Take Laxative Bromo Ouinine Tah,ot. =,
druggists refund money if it fails to curs = ai
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Practical Economy-"Wc told the man
that the surgical operation he needed would
cost $500. How idhe take it ?" He said it
YOU'D be cheaper for hun to go home and
DIE. Chicago Record
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

~ Fits stopped free and perma.ent,v -,
no hts after first days use Of Dr. K sEarea.
Great Nerve Restorer. Free 50 trial ha aahes
treatise. DIR. Kline. 933 Arch St. PM 'i So 2
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Lots of men year their wife's n;o,,,.
on OF. lapel button, and let them ca arr,aie
the Wood.-N ashington Democrat 10
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

If we had to live near a woman who is al
ways practlcIng singing by herself, we doubt
Il lite would be considered worth living
Washington Democrat.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Yes" said the millionaire, pompously,
otis the taking care of the little things that
makes a man rich. Remember that, my
friend
"Well," said the other, hopelessly, 1--WE
been taking care of twins. trplets and two
single, TOT a good while, and | seem to be
getting poorer all lifetime. N. Y. journal.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

lie silver lining to great many clouds is
nothing but moonshine.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Merely Wondered WAS there any frost
last night?' Il think not. Why do you
ask?' Il merely wondered whether ] ext
ready. '-nttshnreh Chronicle-Telegra;.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

".Nhcn DR.. Depcw," said the cornfed
nhIIoSophcr' who occasionally wanders from.
contemplation Of the wholly abstract
when DIR. Dcpew said that the secret Of
happiness was in keeping in touch with the
young; the d?ctor had no reference to young
Jokes: -lndianapolis journal -.7
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16
Star Plug Combines All Good Quail.

All the desirable qualities you want in
tobacco arc found in Star plug to snecial
degree. Its constant use produces no evil
effects
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

buggy. ashington Democrat 0ise and
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

woman 5 soul seems to he a good deal
more valuable than that of a mans. iudrino
from the FRANTIC effort she makes to save it,
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

hen YOU feel inclined to scorn som,
one because, he has less wealth, social no.
SItIon, lnoWledee or culture than yonrsrlf
remember how many there are in the worIr
VINO might easily scorn you for the sam,
rcasons.-N. Y. independent ''''>
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

No true woman is eithe. il man wors3iuer
OF a man hater.-N. !, independent.
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

prHcaution.-"IVhat makes DicI,v Dodd
take that girl to the theater 50 constant y, ~
8. ne ono who wears the enormous hat ~
e. lie wants to make sure that he
won ,l,,y any possibility have to sit behind
1t. w ashington Ntar. Nv Del'lllel
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Feminine; Logic.-AIrs. Wickv7irc-"Did
you read about that man who found so 600
While digging worms to 60 fishing witb?'
ar. y ,LcIhWlre7"Ics, dear" Wen, was
Just thinking what may lie you have missed
by always fishing with flies.'-Indianan
journal '''-''' f'0'''
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

Just as Good Deacon Johnson-''Would
you be able to support nah daughter in de
style to which she hab been accUstomedz"
I'm '9acks9}n-',,Wal, I amt dead-certain
%Dou! dat; but ieel quite sure could git
her 'customed to de style I'd be able To
support her in "-Puck. ~
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

W hen a nan i; so sensitive about hi,
honor he frequently has but a very little
honor to be Observation-Disclosures Demo
Crdt. ~
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

, lie who acts, solely from principle should
nave an Overwhelming love for it: for When
tnc battle IS oyer he viii find himself with
noli1ilhg lett but princip!c.-N. Y. hide
The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1897-12-16

w "oe lloote''e' ,o'oiii"'l blltefS, elther TO
suppress growing dyspepsia or to uproot 1t at
maturity, BILIOUS rheumatc and fever and
ngue sullerersi persons troubled with merry
cure the health franchise by the same means.
pr,o+;oo1 IT,. <r1,-
that tIn rico'ioiN- we tod the man
cost 500 H., g?lI"Ioil ne H ne would
vost , G-Vo, hoWdldh he take 1t = lie said it
o"i''so aecolQ.
Nero1v Wondarod -.syvos +boro o,,,- fros+
last nipht2" II thinl, not WbV do vo,,
ask "T merely Wondered u-botbar ,avt
Years peach cron haJ been dnstrovai al.
ready, "-nittsh1rr Chronicle- Teleora:',
4 o ..,,1
more vai,~oi1o 4 th seems Gems 70 ne a good deal
from tho front Sa affo rntdt % man s. Judging
'i"ltl ne lfIntic e11OTt she makes to save it.
"yy-non n. -
nbilosonhorD ~, ,,.h ne I s3ld the cornfed
rontemi,i'+;an m"o 1cca3'oha!,y Wanders from
.vhen n ,tt'o n ol me Wholiy abstract.
ha "',,,, D', DcpeT sad that the secret Of
yon c"I H. va" Vas. III keGpnS IN touch with the
;oI'ng;, '''L o3rtof h!4 no reference to young
yvhon ,.,, e.,
one Lcra,H'. "" reJ L lhcL1hed TO Scorn some
sition EmoT,nd IE ''lS n$* McaIfh' social 20
remnnInr ,SuEe or culture than yourself,
Who MIGHT no" s; nlanE mere are IN the world
reasons ~ 'SS9't f5 1corh you tor the same
ie'9oilS'-N' l independent.
,n ne VINO acts solely from principle should
t1p
The herald., 1897-02-04

duencs. But Speaker Reed says ';there
must be . complete reorganization of
the civil service as soon as the Republic
an party comes into power" Reed is a
f1rm believer in the doctrine that ito the
victors belong the spoils" and that
"the rascals," that is, all Democrats IN
Office, must be turned out and their
places put In the patronage bags of
Republican congressman. 1t would
seem. therefore, that Mr.. Gage will
enter office with fight with the peo-
pie on the money question on his hands,
and under q heavy fire from the rear in
his own party. Mr.. Gage is a great
financier. but he has yet to learn the DIFF
ference between conducting a banking
institution and running" the treasury
department of the government in har-
mony with the wants of the bosses of
the Republican party.
The herald., 1897-02-04
THE POSITION OF CUBA

In volunteering to take charge Of and
accompany a shipment Of munitions of
war consigned to General Gomez, Cen
eral Sicklec exhibits some buncombe and
a good deal of genuine sympathy for
the Cuban insurgents. The fact is, there
is no reason why arms or any other
article of commerce should not be open
ly shipped from the United States to
Cuba. This country has no official in
formation that Gomez or any other
Cuban is in open revolt against
the Spanish government Spain has
insisted all along that what certain
Cubans call revolution is nothing more
than a few small bands of land pirates.
and that they aim at nothing more than
rapine and plunder
Our courts have recently held that if
Spain denies that Cuba is in state of
war, there could be no such thing as
making unlawful shipments of goods
that are recognized commercial COM
modities especially when Spain has not
furnished a list of articles that are de-
MED entrance into Cuban territory. Of
course everybody knows that war does
exist in Cuba, and that the insurgents
are in a fair way to establish govern
ment independent of Spain without out
side help, but so long as our govern
ment takes Spain's word for it that
there is no trouble in Cuba which could
be magnifed to the dignity of revo-
luton, we are bound to clear merchant
able goods and wares consigned to Co.
mez or any other Cuban.
In this connection it may be observed
that Senator Sherman, who will be Nc
Kinley's secretary of state, is opposed to
recognizing the belligerency of the Gu
ban republic, or in any way giving aid
and comfort to the revolutionists. The
incoming administration will, therefore.
be as hostile to Cuban independence as
the present administration has been. or
as President Grant was during the ten
years war. Nevertheless, the Cubans
The herald., 1897-02-04

by Mrs. Ed Silent, Mrs. T. J. Thomas.
Mrs Burnett and the Misses Tairchili,
Burnett, Georgia knight, Mabel
Gurmsey, Elizabeth Shanklin. Hugus OF
Pasadena. Gertrude Gooding. The
punch table was presided over by Mrs
Jack Foster and Miss Froelfch. Mrs
Dan Mcfarland and Mrs. Granville Nc
Gowan, assisted by the Misses Louise
Mcfarland. Eliza Bonsan, Georgia Cas-
well, Harmon Spruance, Ethel Haye,
Susie Gay, Gertrude Devereaux, Juliet
Currell and Marian Jones served and
presided over the refreshment tables.
The house decorations were very pref
tily arranged. The hail was decorated
with podnsettias. ferns and palms; the
reception rooms with yellow jonquils,
tea roses and ferns; the library with
poinsettias and smilax; the drawing
rooms with peach blossoms and palms,
the window shades being in pink; the
dining room with poinse,tttas and smi-
lax and potted plants