New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-12-18
THE TALK OF TIE DAY.

writer In "Cornhll' who sometimes attends
rural temperance meetings tells the following good
story: "A woman speaker. the wife or q clergy
man told how her husband used always, before
his evening sermon. TO eat an egg beaten up Win
brandy. which made him bilious: but since he had
left off this drunken habit he had also left on his
bilious attacks This more than old b.. one OF
tho villagers could stand. for he roared out:
''Twere the egg, marin. what made he bilious
You tell your mister to take Z brandy wfout un
An Unreasonable suggestion.-"Go TO the ant.
thou siuggard" exclaimed the quotation monger
Well replied his ndolent relative, ! don see
IN. ant getting up early on cold mornings to start
nres and sweep autumn leaves on the lawn
Washington Star.
Soma years ago many farmers along the iine OF
tho Missouri Kansas and Texas Railway brought
sui, against II. and engaged young lawyer named
Brown Judge CAN'T. who was presiding. was com
PEELED 10 throw many Of tho cases out OF court De-
cause they were Improperly brought Brown was
mad all over Swelling with indignation he arose
and said:
your Honor. will you please tell me how It is
possible ir this court 70 get Justice against rail-
road company
Judge CAN'T quietly ignored the contempt OF court
shown by tho lawyer and asked:
do you wish answer TO that question MT
Brown
Yes SIR" derantIy replied the indignan lawyer;
yes sir. and I want to know how farmer can
get his case into this court so that ~ VIII De
heard"
Judge CAN'T smiled and said:
We'll, nrst Mr.. Brown. ia advise tho farmer 70
hire lawyer"
Brown wilted.
old-fashioned bureau. and. retiring dIsheartened
from an unsuccessful eror, TO open one OF rs com
1non h., he % S%es 70 s sRs
mighty strange that the weather bureau can't give
a1gsr fhnr
'"Maybe shyy interposed Freddie. they can't
open tho bureau drawers. "-tBoston Courier
This IS the composition Of Georgia boy one
OF the evil practices OF the day: "Lynchin IS
wrong. II hurts the limbs OF the beautiful trees
where the birds sing II also hurts the people
what's lvnched. They should have a regular hang
in and sell peanuts an lemonade. People what's
hung regular by law, always go 10 heaven.
don't want 10 go to heaven that way
Another Heart Broken-scorjel-Bo what are
YOU looking 80 blue about7 Have you lost IIiendt
- sssu, the reviewer. the other day and he has
lust Written IL up. He says It is done In my hap
'Scortei-Well what's wrong with that'
Struggling Author-Confound II. IT'S Tragedy
(Chicago Tribune
The delta OF tho Danube Is about TO be drained
and rescued for agricultural purposes by the Kou-
ren,an Government Nearly seven hundred ana
any thousand acres OF fertile land will thus De
r,o1o available. The enterprise is the greatest Of
us kind ever undertaken. and at least tve years
will be required to carry II 10 completion
Mamma-well Elsie. what did you learn at school
Elsie aged six)-Learned TO spell. .r,
Mamma-Now what did you learn TO spellF
Mamma~And how do you spell man?
Elisha (promptly)-M-a IN. man. . 80 49,,
Mamma-Now now do you spell boy ,,o
way. only In hitler letters.-(Town ana country
Journal.