Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-09-25
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""SSVS
Sbe-So you don't like that hat just
In front of us? How would you like 1t
trimmed? lie (savagely)-With a lawn.
mower. Bits.
The Captain ,boistcrously)- y Come.
old man. brace up! What's got into
yon? rnssengcr-If you don't put me
asi'Vrc yonli very soon sce.-I.ife.
-IOor. mothcrless glrl.' he cxclaim.
ell. AMI turned sadly away. What he
wanted was a motherlcss girl who
should be In moderate circumstances.
ut k,ast.-ruck.
SsOich.-McSporran leaving horne,--
NOo, Janet. dinna forget to maxi lcetle
Sandy TAX his glass e'e cot when he's
M lookin' at aething.-New York
Truth
She-Oh. James. how grand the sea
IA. How wonderful. I do so like to
hear the roar of the ocean. Hc-So
sio !. Elizabeth. Please keep quict.--
l.usticssn BL,ettcr.
Ch0lly Ricketts, neutrality-suspicious.
ms,. slsssr~s. and shall enter n mon.
as,CTy AMI bc a monk. Maude sum.
incrf1irt-Monastery. Don't you mean
a mcnaycrie? PUCK.
Joking aside. madam. two girls
have gone insane from love Of me
AMI you say you really cannot love
ne!'' "No. baron" Third case of In.
sanity- Blactter.
Old Millyuns-Y Young man. my
slauxhtcr tells me you kissed her Inst
night. rercival Tootlcs--well. IL she
wants 10 80 Dragging about It. that's
her privilege. Chicago Record.
Weary willie-Ef you he'd million
dollars Fields. wot would you do wit
il! flowery Fields-w'y. l wouldn't
sio nutt'n' wit it'd Jest rest easy and
hit IL do sutt'n' wit me.--Truth.
Everybody seems to be on an equal.
ity In klOndike." said the shoe. clerk
fparlcr. EYES," said the Cheerful
Idiot. 'OiSc man can cut rs much Ice rs
another up there" --lndianapolis Jour.
mi.
Slr. Gotox-Xvhat would you expect
me to do for my daughter II you mar.
ricd ir'r? Georgia Goodthlng slightly
embarrIsscdl-You- wouldn't bs
willing to die for her. would your
Judge.
"raw," asked the little boy" "what
Ia a brain-worker?' "A brain.work.
fs-~ said the old man, Is a man who
las Ia spend all his salary in dressing
mp 40 the position he holds" TYPO.
graphical journal.
tsaacstein-Dot vas n uuvecr tinr
vot hap,enedt to Rosenbaum's shtore
Dcns vns burglary undt a shmall
Div sier same night. Cohcnstein-Yes;
Hosenbaum toldt me dot he came oudt
slsosst cvcn.-Puck.
"I.aIn," said Billy, tearfully, after q
playful rOmp with the good. natured
but rather rough IT. Bernard puppy,
u sSsnt believe Bingo knows what
Kind Of 81 dog he Is. lie plays ms II he
thought he was little pug."--Bazar
Young Lady-You are u wonderful
MASTER of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasiOn)--l
blay aggOmpaniments sometimes
Young Observation-Disclosures Il
singing? Professor Won Spicler-Ag
compartments to conversations.
Bits.
Sirx. Newiywcd--That Is our new
Observation-Disclosures see, II a burglar
should sst into the lower part Of tn,
l0usss. TINT would ring. Her mother
Oh:-and scare him OF? Mrs. Newly
wei tdOubtfully)-Well, II might; bu
II would give Clarence and me plenty
Of time to hide In the attic, anyway
2hh.k.
First Assistant lin Daily Hustler Of
iis.s--lt strikes me that the editor 1,
hssnmIng decidedly absent. minded
Second Assistant-Why do you thinl
10! First Assistant-Why. In thu
hsrIx xx1icle on the wonderful progress.
Of mankind during the reign OF Queer
Ns.sOria, lie never once mentioned til,
Increase In the circulation Of the Hus
flsr.-Illuck.