Kansas City journal., 1897-11-08
Dooley ard His Bank Account.

From the Chicago Post.
Mr.. Dooley was bent over little leather
covered book when Mr.. Hcnnessy came in,
and he was muttering to himself: "Sivin
an six is thirteen. put down three an
carry wan; eight an Ioor is twelve. plus
wan is thirteen; put down all iv it. Wan
hundherd an thirty-three. My-yah. It's
har-rd wurruk r-runnin' tn finances iv a
large business"
What ar-re ye dcin'?" said Mr.. Hennes-
sy.
I've opined bank account" said Mr..
Dooley, with pride. An I'm goin' to close
it to-morrah"
Il had twinty dollars In a savins bank
wanst.' said Mr.. Hennessy, 'an' 1t bust up.
Th' thief that r-run tn bank carried it over
to Europe with him an spint it on wine.
women an song. May tn wine pizen him.
tn women bate him an tn song break tn
dhrums iv his ear. If ye had n wife ye
wudden't put ye'er money In a bank. Ye
wudden't be let. TIL good woman keeps
mine in pocket that Spike Hinnissy cud-
dent find his way to. Annywan that robs
nell have to steal her too-an' he'll have
none tn best iv it,
"Ye'er speakin' tn thruth." said Mr..
Dooley. I've always kept what little
change had. I'll not tell ye where, Hin
missy. I thrust ye but ye might talk in
ye'er sleep. Twas Father Kelly put me I'D
to takin' it to tn bank. He says, SAYS
he: 'Th' best thing that can happen to a
man Is to soak away tn roly-boly 1t
makes him careful he says. an him an
me wint down to tn Tinth Naytional bank.
where he has friend. He took me up to
la-ad-an' wan that didn't look amy
too square at that-an' says he: This is
me friend. Misther Dooley,' he says; he's
anxious to make a deposit in ye'er bank
Very WE'LL says tn la-ad with his nose
in tn air. Write ye'er name down in
this here book, he says. What fr?' says
l. I've been mighty suspicious iv signing
me name to anything since I signed a
petition f'r rayform candydate FIR aid
herman whin l thought I was askin' to
lave man out iv tn pinitinchry. We
want to know ye'er signature saws he.
For why?' says I. Sign ye'er name said
Father Kelly. It's all Fright So
signed me name an he give me this here
little book an wan iv thin check books.
an sent me acrost to where there was a
bit " hoy behind tn bars. WELL says
IN Kid, where's TIL money! TIL money
yeer going to deposit he says An
what's it to YEP says I. I want it, says
he. DO ye?' says /. Well. If We think
We can get it come out an thry,' 1 saws.
III me eyes don't deceive me it's wantin'
peoples money that's put ye in that there
cage. says I. DO ye want to make a de-
posit?' says he. I do says l. Thin give
me tn money he says. .Divvle a cint.'
says l. I don't like ye'er looks. I can't
thrust ye. I wurrked hard FIR this money
playin' forty-fives an I'll put it in nowhere
but an iron SAFE l says. Be this time
rather Kelly come up an says he: Foolish
man. give him ye'er money An / give II
to tn Kid. Dye believe me, Hinnfssy- he
tnrun 1t on one side as though twas an
OF shirt BE careful says 1; yell break
II. Man alive, don't We know no more thin
" pe handiln good stuff like pig iron?'
But Father Kelly dragged me away.
was half a mind to jump off tn ca-ar
an go back an dhraw it out. Thin I
thought I'd write to me frind Jawn Are
I've bought his paper f'r years off an on.
"nin II was Dimmycratic. l wisht had
now. This mornin' Dorsey tn plumher
come In f'r little bill was OWN him.
How much is it?' says I. Five dollars
says he. set down an wrote out n check
tn way Father Kelly showed mean tossed
II to him. What's this?' says he A check
says 1, f'r five bucks on TIL Tinth Nav.
tlonai bank. where 1 keep me capital
, LOOK mere says he. I didn't fix no catch
basin an no beer pump FIR tn Tinth Nay
tional bank he says 4 done II FIR Won
an l want ye'er money My good sir
says l. that check is as good as money.
an even betther,' says l. Behind it, I
says. is not only me own capital, but tn
1nt1re capital tncludin' money lint on Alley
L stock. iv tn Tinth National bank.
says. l had tn facts firm th' good ma-an
More thin that says I. 'th' whole COVER
mint " tn United States is behind it, 1
says. TIL ARMY an navy an tn park
polls will fight FIR that check 1 SAYS.
Mckinley was elected to make that check
good. l says. I don't care IA cloth FIR
wipin' jints.' he says. I voted FIR Bryan
an 1 want money an bedad, had to give
it to him.
We'll. sir. thried that there check on
five diff'rent men an ne'rr a wan iv thin
wud take it. TIL last wan was O'Connor
tn butcher. What is it?' says he. A
check says I. so 1t is.' he says so It is.
An very purity wan. too. where'd We
get it?' I made it says I. Did ye SOP
says he. Well. ye dhraw Well. What ARE
We Gon' to do with it?' I want ye to take
it again that bill We sint me- WHAT
says he. told him again. Faith says he.
'ye must think I'm crazy. I can buy a
pitcher tin times as big as that FIR three
dollars he says. Well. sir. wud We believe
it. they've had the story around that Mar
tin Dooleys gone daft an Is UP an down
TIL r-road thryin' to pass off a piece iy
green paper as money. Th' loot was in TO |
see If I was vilent just befure We come.
haven't had n clint iv money all day ex-
cept what little 1 took in. an yesterday I |
was fair rowlin' in wealth. What will I |
do about it?'
Get it out iv the bank" said Mr.. Hem
messy eagerly. '1'll go down an give that
kid a talk. an do you sneak tn roll
Well" said Mr.. Doo!ey. I'm goin' to
see Father Kelly. hope he amt in on tn