Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-02-18
A HETEROPHEMIST

A HETEROPHEMIST.
HOW HE INJURED THE FINANCIAL IN
TEREsTs OF THE coNFEDERAcY.
Mr.. Blank Was Sent to England to Solicit
Aid and Failed-The Message He Sent
to Mr.. Memminger Was the Opposite OF
What He Supposed.
The Southern Confederacy was only
few months old when a financial agent
was sent to England on very impor-
tant mission. Mr.. Blank was politi-
clan and banker. He was also an ele-
CANT gentleman, with many influential
acouaintances on both sides of the wa
ter.
Before leaving Richmond he had a
long talk with Memminger, the secre-
tary Of the treasury.
"If I find that England will aid us, -
he said, ST will send you word by some
reliable blockade runner. 1t will be a
very brief message, but you will under
stand it, while it will mean nothing to
the enemy if it should be intercepted. J"
The confidential agent slipped through
| the lines, and in less than a month was
comfortably established in London. In
the metropolis he found many southern
ers and many prominent Englishmen
| who sympathized with the secessionists.
He saw Mr.. Yancey, the Confederate
minister, every day, and the two work
ed together in harmony. Mr.. Yancey
was practical man and was not long
in coming to the conclusion that no aid
was to be expected from the British gov
eminent.
'The abolition sentiment controls
here,'' he said to Mr. Blank. "Some Of
the statesmen would like to help the
| south in order to break up the Union,
but the people will never consent. The
south will have to fight alone"
Blank felt pretty blue when he heard
this, and that night he wrote the single
word successful on a thin slip Of pa
per and skillfully secreted it in an Or
binary coat button. The next day he
was visited by southern friend, who
remained with him for an hour or more.
During his stay he removed the top but
] ton from his coat and sewed on one
given by Mr.. Blank
IT understand it all, " he said when
he left. eff I get safely to Wilmington,
| will go at once to Richmond and give
this button to Mr.. Memminger. Iprefer
not to know the nature Of the message,
as you say that it explains itself
eyes" replied Blank, cit will be
understood by the secretary, and as it
! refers to state secret cannot say any
thing about it. -
The two shook hands, and the gentle
man with the precious button took the
next train for Liverpool, where he
boarded a steamer bound for Whining
| ton.
The steamer was chased by Federal
| cruisers, but she managed to reach her
destination without any serious mishap.
In the course Of two or three days the
| mysterious traveller called on Mr.. Mem
| minger in Richmond and presented him
with q button. The secretary cut off its
covering in a hurry and smiled when
he read the word successful.
Did Mr.. Blank show this message to
you?'' he asked.
"No. We both thought it best that I
should remain in Ignorance SO that no
telltale expression Of my face would be-
tray anything if the enemy captured
me-.
At a meeting Of the cabinet that aft
ernoon Mr.. Memninger was in high
spirits. He predicted that the war would
be over in 80 days and said that England
was preparing to recognize the Confed-
eracy and send eyer her warstins. r.
break the blockade
IT have this, . he said, from my con-
fidential agent, Mr.. Blank .
The name commanded respect, and
when the secretary said that under the
circumstances loan of SIG, 900, 900 ne
gotiated in Europe would be sufficient
everybody agreed with him. The weeks
rolled on, and Changer in Paris adver-
tised for bids for SIS, 0Ga, 600 in Confed-
crate bonds. Mr.. Blank read this at his
London hotel and dropped his paper in
his agitation.
'sWell, I'll be d--dp' he remarked.
"Must be a mistake. I'll run over and
see about it. -
The next day he was at Erianger's
| Office in Paris. The French banker in.
formed his visitor that there was nc
mistake, and then Blank swWe vigor-
ously. The bids rushed in from all quar-
tiers. If the demands of these specula-
tors had been met, $500, 900, 900 in Con
| federate bonds could have been sold.
When this fact became known, Mr..
Blank again relapsed into profanity.
He could not stand it, and, despite
the danger Of the trip, he made his ar
rangements to return home. His inter
view with Memminger was stormy
one when he arrived at Richmond
81 intended to write unsuccessful -
he said after a long talk.
"Well, there is your message" re-
piled the secretary. "You wrote sue.
cessful.'"
81 don't understand it, said MIR.
Blank sadly. Surely your advices from
Mr.. Yancey should have warned you
that there was something wrong
ellis dispatches were intercepted, -
answered the other.
IT don't understand it, repeaEet
Mr.. Blank.
| Perhaps 1 d. quietly remarked
the secretary IT have carefully notet
your talk this mbrraing, and I hslve dis
covered that you are heteropMemist
For instance, you say London when yo1
mean Richmond and Richmond whe1
you mean London You similarly mis-
use the names of other places and per
sons and are unconscious Of it, Whe1
you sent me that message. the word 'un
successful was in your mind, but, being
a heteropheutist, you wrote an opposit,
word and ruined the Confederacy.'
II may have made mistake, sir. ,
said Mr.. Blank, rising from his chair
"but I am neither lunatic nor al
idiot. I have the honor to bid you goot
morning"
Heterophemy is a fatal thing in, di
plomacy. Chicago Times-Henald.