The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1897-12-10
PHILOSOPHER Of A LECTURlNG
TOUR ~ NORTH CAROLINA.
lively RIDE on A CIRCUS TRAIN.
Auor Undergoing Many Ttardships tc is
Landed Among fiis Friends aud
n Royalty Welcomed.


show and Jordan is a hard road 90
travel, / believed There are other
calculations / might utter, for Of late
there has been trouble on the old
mans mind. You see, ! was invited
over here 10 talk to these people in
humorous aud philosophic way, and
my wife said as the larder was getting
low aud the girls needed some more
winter clothes. and the tax man was
bobbing around and the grandchildren
would be expecting something for
Christmas, she thought / had better
go. So she packed my yalise with
my best clothes, and fortified me with
a little drug store of camphorated oil
and flannel and liver medicine and
paregoric and cough drops and quinine
and headache powders, aud so forth
and 20 on. We kissed goodby all round
and ] departed feeling like was being
driven off from home by sad necessity.
1 took the Soaboard Air Line at At
lanta bound for Charlotte, via Monroe,
but our engine broke down at Green's
boro about dark and this delayed us
three long, dreary hours, and when we
| reached Monroe it was way after mid
night and the Charlotte train had
gone. There were three nice ladies'
aboard and several gentlemen, who
were greatly disappointed, but the
conductor was kind and sympathetic
and said there was circus train near
by that was going to Charlotte right
away and if we didn't mind riding
thirty miles in a cab he would get us
the privilege. The ladies, said yes,
and we did, too, and climed in. 1t
was as dark as Erebus. We felt orr
way to find seats, but there was moth
ing but some long tool boxes whose
lids were hard and cold. There was no
fire and the wind blewthrough a broken
glass on the back of my head. The
ladies chatted away morrily, for they
were going home, but / wasn't and 1
couldn't chat to save my life, for l was
very tired and thought of that good
soft bed at home. By and by the
conductor came in with lantern and
took up our tickets and left MS in the
dark again. About that time the ami
mails got restless and the lion gave an
unearthly howl You see this was a
menagerie train.
"The animals went in two by two
The elephant and the kangaroo,
and every time the cars careened about
or swung round curve We could hear
some devilish noise ahead of us. ooh,
mercy" said the youngest girl, "sup-
pose they break out" "They will eat
the tenderest and sweetest first, said
]. 'Lions always do" I pulled my
cloak up over the back of my head
and ruminated For two long hours
we logged along, for the train was
running slow to suit the wild beasts
and we were of no consequence.
1t was near o'clock when we got
to the suburbs of Charlotte and
stopped. Nobody was looking for US
nobody rushed forward to meet us, no
porter por hackman-no omnibus OF
street cars, not even a wagon or an OK
cart or darby The moon had hid
herself to keep from seeing our mis-
cry, but we seized our grips and wraps
and satchels and made q march for the
electric lights Ny companions soon
separated from me and | marched in
single file with my big valise full Of
clothes and the drug store, aud strug-
gled for three quarters of mile up tho
long and hard sidewalk. / am not
used to arc lights, and the Pickering
shadow of every tree and telegraph
pole looked like a man in ambush whC
was fixing to hold me up. I had for
gotten where the hotels were, and I'M
consciously passed them, for the doors
were all shut, and there was no sign
BY and by met policeman and h,
conducted me back to the hotel, ant
I was as thankful as [ was tired anC
humble. My pitiful tone of voice Sc
cured me kind attention and a bed
When a man is far away from home
his warmest welcome is an inn. Blu
/ did not rest we'll.
A 10 o'clock supper, on fried sausage
and scrambled eggs and stale oysters
disturbed my corporosity and I dream
ed that the tiger got loose and came
proving and bowling around the ca
and somehow I got a Ratchet out 0
the tool box and lifted the young lad.
} through the port hole upon the roof
| and volunteered to defend her wit
my life and my sacred honor. The tige
made desperate leaps to get up there
but every time he got paw on tn
cave, I cut it off and let him fall bac
again. don't know what became c
the other ladies, but think that othe
, wild beasts got in and eat them VI
I The men had all fed prematurely, br
l saved the pretty girl, the sweetei
and tenderest, before l woke III