davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1897-01-30
An IdyI of the Avenue.

He was moving slowly along Connecticut
avenue.
1t was Sunday after church and the ave-
nue. was crowded with elegantly attired
people.
For dozen years he had lived In Wash
ington. and he had been through this great
thoroughfare at all hours of the day and
night, and on all days of the week.
Yet none of those people had ever no.
ticed him, or If they ever did, had given no
sign.
He had never been inside of a church
and though thousands of Christian people
mad met him daily. never a one had given
to him SO little thought as to ask il he
had soul to save. .
And in that throng were ministers of the
Gospel and good women who sought the
heathen In far-of lands. and told them the
story Of the gospel of peace.
What wonder is it that the great city is
called heartless and cruel?
Coming to 1t from the country at an early
age. he had been at once thrown upon his
own resources, and though of excellent
breeding, he had not been recognized in the
city, where wealth is the higher standard
of merit. and today among all these peo-
pie there was not one to whom he could
have spoken, If it had ever occurred to
him to do so.
No house along the capitals magnificent
streets and avenues had ever opened its
hospitable doors to him; under the ma
hogany of no great statesman or of no pie
thoric-pursed millionaire had he ever
stretched his legs: in no invited company
of theirs had he ever mingled, and no wo-
man, OF, all those who shine resplendent in
the nations capital, had ever listened In
rapt delight to lovers words from lips of
his.
He had never even worn a dress suit.
A dozen years In the capital and he had
never dined at the Metropolitan Club.
At the corner beyond as he moved slow
ly along he stopped a moment to permit a
lady to cross his path.
Only q year before he had stood outside
the church where she had been married in
regal splendor, but she did not remember
him.
Why should she?
He was only q cab horse.
Evening star., 1897-01-30
HOME MANAGEMENT.
Hopiy's Wife fs Treasure, hut He
Does Not Seem TO Profit hN Her

HOply's Wife is Treasure, but He
Does Not Seem TO Profit by Her.
From the Detroit Free Press.
They tell me, Hoply, that your wife is a
great business woman and knows Just how
TO stop the leaks that occur in most house
hclds. At our place the folks are always
getting things that don't fit or that are
disappointing in some other way. But in
stead of realizing something for them,
they throw them away, give them away or
hlde them in the attic. How does Mrs
Hoply manager"
We'll, this is what she was telling me
last night. One of my daughters. who be-
lieves everything that she reads bought a
pair OF heavy shoes for outdoor wear She
was bent on being sensible and healthy
They made her feet sore, wore out the heels
OF her stockings ard caused her such utter
WEAKNESS that she talked in her sleep OF
course, it would not do to continue such
torture, so my wife sold the shoes for a.
per cent of their cost
Good! That's what call management"
mrs. Hoply found remnant that was of
Just the ma terial she wanted for a wrapper
bought Ii and had the garment made Ii
pulled and hauled and bound till she was
almost distracted and there was no more
goods OF the same kind to be had in order
TO remedy the defect. She sold IL to the
second gir' at reasonable discount |
might tell you half a dozen like instances
in which she disposed of all kinds of things,
from hats to cook stoves"
Good againi Such a woman Is a treas
ure.''
There's one thing 1 should tell you. how
ever. Sne never collects a cent for these
things Not doggone cent. The washer
woman quits. The second girl leaves with
out Eotice. The man that carries in coal
buys stove and we never see him again.
She sells everything, but we get nothing"
Evening star., 1897-01-30

smile when men stand gladly up and
say
Those words of praise whose lavishness
must cloy:
ne'er can look upon him save as ordinary
clay;
1 used to know him when he was a bow.
Can 1 forget the patch that grew upon his
pantaloon?
The old straw hat that matched his
tousled head?
can forget his truancy one August after
noon,
Likewise the punishment to which 1t led !?
can L forget his awkward and humiliating
pause
In recitations which would so annoy?
Cheer, If you choose, but ask me not to
Join in your applause
1 used to know him when he was a bow.
I've often thought I'd vote for him. If con-
science would allow,
Ano, some day, when he merits 1t, will.
ana, by the way; l am myself an office
seeker now;
I've found the place that no one else
could fill.
For influence" I'll have the man that
we've just talked about;
VI course he'll do his very best with low
he IL undertake to see me through the fight
beyond a doubt:
why, l used to know him when he was
boy.
Evening star., 1897-01-30
A WISE ADVERTISER.
A Little JOkelct Now and Then il
Relished by the Best of Men.

Relished by the Best of Men.
IF there is anything 1 don't like" OBJ
served the drummer handling a line of
eloaks AID furs and selling lot of them in
Washington, ut Is puns the man who
produces them on sight or keeps them on
tap The only place that a pun can be
used at all, in my judgment, is in an adver-
tisement, for there man pays for it, and
he can print anything he wants. Besides, a
pun In an advertisement seems to catch the
eye that kind Of wanders around waiting
for something to fix It,
L guess that Is what was doing about
ten days ago in New England town of
ABOUT 4,OO people, where you might expect
people to make prayers, but never puns. I
was merely there to catch train on a
croSs-road, and while waiting l wandered
along the main street of the town. At last
L came to a store where the proprietor had
out IN front lot of rickety-Iooking furs,
wraps, robes, gloves and that kind of win
ter wearing apparel, with sleigh bells on
the side On the lot he had a card that
showed up like circus bill which bore
the inscription: killing Costumes"
1t was none of my business of course,
but L stopped to examine the stuff, and the
proprietor. cheerful sort of a soul, came
out to see me-
What you got that on there for?' said
l pointing to the card"
Cause that's what ought to be there
said he smiling
But it oughtn't' said 1.
Why oughtn't it?'
simply because killing in the sense you
use II there means something brilliant and
striking, and those things are as plain as
the nose On your face"
Just the same, they are for sleighing
purposes grinned the merchant, with his
thumb up to that same plain nose, and the
far off forests of Punjaub echoed the notes
OF his triumph as 1 hurried back to the
train that was to carry me away from the
scene of my discontinue"
Evening star., 1897-01-30
TWO KINDS OF DRY.
A Kentucky .Gentleman Explains /.
Painfa1 Gircumatance.

A Kentucky Gentleman EXPLAINS n
Painfad Circumstances.
Two distinguished officials, newspaper
man and barkeeter, were in the room at
the time the cof9nel from Kentucky came
In with mint tulep Judge from the old
dominion. -
The colonel Joined the group at the small
table. and. after Introducing the judge, ne
nodded familiar1y to the barkeeper
Inc prelininaries being arranged the
colonel bowed to the group with the de-
Aehtfui courtesy of his class.
IF may be- permitted, gentlemen" he
SAID, i shall proceed with the story
vas telling to Imys frier.d, the judge, as
Permission was given unanimously.
ihank you. gentlemen" responded the
coionel; AS was saying to my friend,
the driest town 1 ever witnessed or had
anything to do with in any other regard
was small town in, Kentucky, the finest
state on earth, sirs, and 1t was due entire
ly to the biggest and wettest flood ever
experienced in those parts"
Fiood OF water?" inquired the newspaper
man, VINO had never heard Of that much
water being allowed in Kentucky at one
time.
"Certainly'-the colonel was a refreshing
example of innocent ignorance. Every
stream Tor miles around was running out
OF lts banks and was converted into an
LInpaSsdoie torrent Tor TWO entire weeks.
came SO suddenly, too, that people were
not prepared for it,
"But, colonel, how in thunder could that
make 1t dry?' asked one of the officials,
brightest man in Washington, could read
lily prove an alibi.
Easy enough" explained the colonel, as
he held up the glass which the barkeeper
see, the impossible torrents completely
shut Off our supply Of liquor and almost
resulted fatally"
The alibi official paid for the next round.
Evening star., 1897-01-30
A HARD BLOW.
One of Those Cyclones in Kansas
Oftener Read Of Than Survived.

One of Those Cyclones in Kansas
Oftener Read Of Than Survived.
The gentleman from Kansas was con-
versing with the lady from New York at a
small kettle drum. or bass drum, or some
thing like that, which fs eventuating four
or five times day and once or twice on
Sunday in the social circles of the capital
and she was especially interested in the
meteorological movements incidental to the
picturesque and moving climate of the
sunf1ower state.
Your cyclones she said, In such eager
ness that she almost twittered in her
speech. ARE perfect wonder to me-
"Yes'm," he responded with the uncer-
tain and retiring manner of the west when
1t confronts the east on it's native heath,
there's a good deal to 'em. Never seen
one, guess, did your
mo. but 1 should dearly love to-
He looked at her pityingly.
Il guess you mean through q telescope,
don't your he said.
I'D love to see one, anyway, so long as
could only have the opportunity of seeing
ing the irony of his speech. Tell me some
thing about them. Aren't they magnff-
cent?"
They're powerful ma'am. The last one
that swept over our country killed seventy
five people right in one neighborhood,
ma am, and the very one where 1 live"
Dreadful! Awful! How did it happen?'
Just like they always do, ma'am-
mighty sudden: but this one was saddener
than usual and caught the people away
from their dug-outs.''
"Dug-outs?" she questioned.
"Yesm, dug-outs. You see, Fam, for
safety we dig holes in the ground which
we run into and hide till the fury Of the
storm is past. In this way our lives are
saved dozens Of times every year. These
holes are sometimes like a cistern, only not
so deep, and they haven't any lining or
anything in them. They're just holes in
the ground. that's ALL Well. in my neigh
borhood where this last one was so fatal,
I guess there was about a hundred dug
outs, and when the storm come, 1t come
so quick that before the people could get
to them the cyclone had blowed every
dern ore of them holes clean out of the
ground, and over into the next county.
OF course, that left the poor people without
any protection and the wind done about as
1t pleased with them
Couldn't they get them back again?'
asked the lady, as guileiess and sympathet-
lc as women always are.
To be certainly, ma'am: but you see it
couldn't be done in time to save the peo-
ple.' and the gentleman from Kansas SEEM
ed to show faint quiver in his lip as he
turned away to hide his grief.
Evening star., 1897-01-30
THE THIRD KENTUCKY.
A District Noted for the Men 1t Pro
daced AS Well as Oil.

A District Noted for the Men 1t Pro-
daced as Well Oil.
''The third district of Kentucky has
remarkable history in many respects said
Representative Hunter of that district to
Star reporter. TT was there that Jeffer
sen Davis, president of the confederate
states, was born; also cx-Secretary of the
Treasury benjamin II. Bristow, ex-Gover-
nor Preston H. Tester of Montana, ex-
Senator Maxey of Texas, Senator Wilkin-
son Call of Florida, Senator Roger @.
Mills of Texas, Representative Benton Nc
Millin of Tennessee. and many others. The
first Oil well on this continent was discov-
cred in that district, 1t was the American
well, and was struck in 1880 at depth
of 175 feet, while men were boring for salt
water. It's product was shipped all over
the world as a medicine for more than
quarter of century before oil was found
in Pennsylvania. The mammoth cave is
located within its border. and there are
many other natural curiosities'
Representative Hunter. who represents
the district. was the chairman of the re-
publican executive committee, which first
carried the state for that party. He may
be the first republican United States Sen
ator from Kentucky.
Evening star., 1897-01-30
A PRETTY TOUGH SKULL,
MIR. bronson Was Hit With n Rifle
ball, but Ii WINS Only a Trife.

From the Paducah News.
Rufe Bronson. colored, recently drove be-
low the 1. c. incline to dump a load of
trash in the river. About the same time
Captain Newt. Roberts, the well-known
steamboat man, repaired to the bottoms on
the north side to try a new Winchester of
thirty-eight caliber. Just as Captain
Robert drew head on a stalk of ironwood
and pulled a trigger. Rufe moved into range
from behind a gravel bank about 275 feet
away. There was a crack from the rife
and an exclamation from Rufe. The heavy
ball had hit him on the forehead somewhat
above the eyes, with all the force OF a
heavy charge of powder. The negro did
not even fall down. He wiped his brow
with old handkerchief and drove on
toward the river bank. The morning after
he told a reporter about 1t.
"1issir, somethn hit me in der head. and
den heard a gun go Off. At fus' thought
hornet had stung me. 1t felt kinder that
way"
Did you fall down, Rufe?'
Nav, sir: but de bullet sort of pushed
my head over ter one side, but dat uz ALL
Dis mornin' my head kinder ached a leetle.
but Use been workin' all day. My heads
peeled leetle bit and skinned UP. but not
nun ter hurt"
Evening star., 1897-01-30
Timely Arrival.

From the Cincinnati Enquirer.
They had mourned him as dead. but. like
Enoch Arden-or the cat-he had come
back.
His little wife sat on his knee, the Joy
shining in her eyes.
he asked.
"Gladg' said she. "Glad? I had Just
made up my mind to don a widows outfit,
but there was the loyeliest picture hat.
with bright ribbons all over II in spots.
that have been longing for. and now I
can get 1t. Glad!'
Evening star., 1897-01-30
y y
A Hn bifuaI ONersfrht.

Come hyuh ter me-" exclaimed Pick
anirIy Jim's mother; "whut dat book yoh
been a-readin' -
Il was jes' improvin my mind" pro-
tested Jim.
Dat ar aim no school book" was the
reJoirider in a tone of great suspicion
,Ho. NANNY. yoh done gone jedged by
'pearances. Yoh goes long an takes hit
foh granted dat hit ain no school book.
3es' cause tain got er stiff kivver. Dat
ain no sign. Fob all you knows bout IL.
de styles is changed"
"Lemme see it.
Jim handed it over promptly. relying on
his mothers lack Of scholarship,
Look at DAT. now!' she exclaimed with
indignation as she turned to a full-pase IL
lustraticE OF how the cabin boy. with the
assistance of the first mate, was slaughter
irg the rest OF the ships crew and the H.
natured captain. "Whut kim er abe les-
sons oees yer call dat! Mebbe dey done nut
dem ptcter's inter ter res yoh min SOS de
'rif metic won be teo wearin' on yer?'
Lemme look at dat book agin" said he
s'Oh, yes! Come ter member, dat ain. one
er de regfar school books. But de teacher
dcne tor US We mustn't speck ter do ali
our learnin' In de school house; ives gotter
reec an pick up useful knowledge whah-
ebber we .kin.9
AN does yer call dat useful knowledee.''
s'.Yts'm. rs foun' out er good deal rum
dat story. Spos'n wus ter grow up some
time an 60 ter sea-"
Yeh. n.out." reflected his mother. '.Hit
Evening star., 1897-01-30
Curious Newspaper Ownership.
rom tha Fourth Estate

owns a singular piece Of property. though
one most admirably managed; 1t is a morn
ing newspaper, the Dresdener Anzeiger. This
daily, upon the death of its last proprietor.
was willed to the city upon the condi-
tion that all profits arising therefrom
should he spent upon the public parks.
This year a large playground of nearly
eight acres was purchased from Prince
George, the kings brother and heir ap-
parent, and 1t will be ready for use next
spring. The paper continues to hold the
respect of ali citizens. for the trust has
been carried out in its broadest spirit. and
the power has never been employed to
foster any school of opinions social. po-
litical or religious.
Evening star., 1897-01-30

forgetting the granQ
fraternity of man
kind; the selfishness
with which we econ
omize in politeness
toward the public for
the benefit of our
f o r m al acquaint-
ances. We are drift
ing toward danger
all through neglect
of what that genial
reprobate, Laurence
Sterne, SO happily de-
scribed as the small,
sweet courtesies.' D."
And as he took his
hat and starteu Tor
the door, his wife ex-
Evening star., 1897-01-30
The Colonel and the MaIor.

Col. Stilwell and Maj. Mott were sitting
In the office Of the hotel, as close 10 the
radiator as they could get
"Kunnel,'' said the major, Il desiah to
ask yoh advice about a mattuh of a good
deal of Importance"
Any information which 1 possess is en-
uahly at yoh suhvice, suh''
This weathuh has been the most irving
that have experienced in some time"
1t has been inexcusable: you can say
nothing In criticism of it which will be too
severe to secure my indohsement"
In spite of my reguluh observance of the
usual precautions in such cases
without the use of watail collaterally-,
Invariably. suh-in spite Of my prud-
ence, l find that l am threatened with a
severe cold.''
"Majuh." said the colonel, .I take great
pleasure in infawming you that 1 have a
prescription which has proved efficacions
in several instances. Yoh get some hot
watah. and some lemons, and some Ken
lucky spirits, and yoh mix them in such
proportions as suit yoh taste l have al
ways contended that the homeopa thjc
school Is right in its theory that there is
no excuse foh making a dose unpalatabIe
10 the patient. Yoh take tumbler full of
tne mixture every quarter of an hour and
If between times you see fit to take any one
OF the ingredients separately, 1t will not in
tuhfere with the cohse of treatment"
Il have heard of that remedy befo'," was
the reflective answer
4 do not claim it as original" replied the
colonel. NOR do I promise that it win ef-
1ect permanent cure. But win guaran-
Tee um puS nal experience that aftuh fol-
towing these directions you won't care.
sum- whethuh you have cold or not. suh.'
Evening star., 1897-01-30
The same as Usual

From the New York Evening World
Old Gent-"Waiter, I want q steak and
potatoes. Perhaps you remember me.
was here yesterday"
Waiter-"Yes. sir. VIII you have the
same today?"
Old Gent-"Yes. II no one is using them"
Evening star., 1897-01-30

runs in de family. You airs gran-pa wuck-
ed or a ferry boat"
Den in dat case I'd hab de advantage
O. seeing whah all dem yuther sailors made
dah mistakes. De trouble wif 'em wus dat
dey didn' read dat kin o. books befoh dey
went ter sea, an dey all got kotched in de
same trap. Ef dey'd improved dab minis.
same ez Is doin'. dey'd of knowed better
dan ter go down de companion way, single
file. same ez dey allus does an let de GEM
men in de cabin smack 'em down wifi er
sea, dey's gotter come up top er de deck,
or else dar ain gwinter be no fght''
Paths of Glory.
It's mighty difficult. jes' now, fur any ona
ter frame
A clear idee of what exackly goes ter make
up fame.
I seen feller's picter; 'twasn' sech a
handsome face,
But they'd marked IL advertisement" an
1t had the leadin' place.
They'd wrote up his biography ez careful
ez they could
They even stopped ter name the medicine
thet done him good!
Twas no wonder thet his features wore a
self-approyin' laugh.
Like he felt his future greatness when they
tuck his phortygraph.
There was another. way down in a corner
of the page,
Where this man claimed yer notice ez a
hero of the age.
1 purity nearly missed Il, cause my eye
sights ruther dim.
An L wusn't lookin' out fur no big people,
'ceptin' him.
L could hardly trust my senses when 1
come ter scan IL close.
An discovered twas a bigger man than
him eZ tuck the dose
An the more 1 thought about II all, the
more 1t hurt my pride
Ter find Ii was the Presdent-an' jes a
column wide,
So now tell my boy ter go ahead an not
despair;
Though he may not see success, It's likely
waitin fur I'm there
In the CLOWN, generous future, which is
full of hopefulness
Fur them ez Is content ter use the talents
they possess.
And eff he finds he amt got eddication ez
he should,
L tell i'm ter keep heart ez long ez his
digestions good
Ez scholar an a statesman, though his
mark he never makes
He may STILL perhaps. be famous fur tho
medicine he takes
Evening star., 1897-01-30
Wise Provision.

From the Chicago Post.
She had just promised to be his, but she
still had her doubts upon some points.
Shall we run away? he asked.
II don't mind" she answered. provided
you have the price of q round-trip ticket"
He realized then that she was q new wo-
man who did not believe In taking any
chances.
Evening star., 1897-01-30
Good Medicine.
From Judy,

From Judy.
well. nurse. is the patient taking that
tablespoonful OF brandy once In two hours
that ordered him this morningf"
Rather, doctori He's twenty ahead"
Evening star., 1897-01-30

Couldn't Account for His FeeIin9s.
From the Atlanta Constitution.
mot feeling well this morning. majorf'
mo. sir; sick, sir-sick!''
Didn't abuse New Year. did your
mo. sir; didn't drink gallon the whole
dayr
Evening star., 1897-01-30
Human Nature.

~ Sdii AlC lllultttcIS
rhetoric and awes
the lis s t e n | n z
crowd,
Until with him
they hasten to
agree:
In vain they greet
e a c h utterance
with plaudits long
and loud;
Such things have
n o significance
with me.
Cno v~on ract-ofn
Evening star., 1897-01-30
Stole HIS Arsenal
the Detroit Free Press.

From the Detroit Free Press
II hear, Mrs. Derby, that your husband
has two revolvers and q Winchester for
any burglars who may call"
He had. but they came the other night
and got them"
Evening star., 1897-01-30
A Misconducted Experiment.


MiscOnductcd Experiment..
Henrietta. said Mr.. Blykins at break
fast. the trouble with this country Is that
too many class distinction ms are growing up
in it,
Il don't see how you can help IT," his
wife replied.
"Yes, can. 1 can. in my small way. pro-
test against the manner in which We are