The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-04
HOME OF THE MOSQUITO.
il. Found by a savant-of Course 1t Is
in New Jersey.
From the New York Sun.

a
ne did not weigh more than 10 pounds.
hut he was very tall His long hair hung
dreopingly from beneath the old funeral
hat he wore. His linen buster was be-
smeared with mud and blood Under mis-
arm he carried a portfolio with faded
green cover. When he took off his buck
skin gloves one hand was seen to be conf
naratively fat. The other hand was thin
and bony, with fingers like the claws of
a lobster
When a newsboy asked him to buy a
paper giving the latest Klondike gold
news. he refused with scorn.
NO" he said solemnly, "the news pap
ers are to far behind the era in which we
exist They are sending experts to Alas
la to prospect cor gold-flthy gold, when
we have more grave subjects for ulvesti-
cation at home. 1 poor man, but,
in the interests of humanity, l have de-
voted my time to Investigating q matter
that should have been inquired into many
years ago by the government. I have
spent a lifetime in the work ard I have
made great discovery. ] have found the
home of the mosquito family.
win you tell us about it?'1 said the
suns mosquito reporter, who was on the
boat.
with pleasure, sir" answered the
stranger. but remember one thing; it re-
manned for the great Prof. Won Postina to
make the discovery / am he. l have
found the place where the mosquito keets
The place where the culesx family origi-
mated; the place where the Proboscidean
Division of the Order Of Diptera meets;
the place where this secret society of
two-winged insects hold their secret c0n-
claves at midnight and concoct their vile
plots for annoying and destroying man
kind. Yes, sir, have discovered and ex-
pOred the palaces of the five known spe-
cies of mosquito and of several hundred
species that have never been discovered
before | have found the Order of Barbed
Wire Proboscis. the Independent Union of
Circle SaWyers, and the United Broth
erhood of Anvil Drivers. Look upon that
left hand. That was once thin like this
right one, but I fed it to the enemy on
the field of battle for humanity's future
protection-I fed it to the enemy on the
field of battle.
and the battlefead?" said the mosquito
reporter
"Oh, the battlefield said the professor.
~The battlefield was in Jersey, on the
highway that passes through the Mos
quito estates Jerseyites call it the road
10 Arlington cemetery. IT is Travelled only
by the Mosquito clans and funeral par
ties. The fact that the hearse driver is
a friend of death protects him from the
diptera attacks. But to resume my story.
have discovered six clans of mosquitoes
In each of the six clans L found the at
lacking bands divided into battalions
l.
talon. Captains with whiskers were in
command of each company, there being
100000 companies in each battalion. Then
they had bicycle squads as auxiIiaries to
each company They carried avis as
puncturlng machines. Each one in the
horse brigade 1 found armed with a
baroed wire proboscis. In the ambulance
corps were many armed with circular
saws. The Brotherhood of Awl Drivers
seemed to be in the majority for I found
Hnlee miles them IaI
with 64,95O,O0O one little ISL
and. They have soft, elor-
Eated bodies, long legs, large
heads, pale blue eyes, and long black whis-
Iiers. l noticed while Investigating that
THE men mosquitoes all soaked their heads
IN the water on their Estates while the
women mosquitoes were the soldiers who
went to war with humanity. Oh, 1 forgot
10 tell you about the Royal Lancers. They
are big fat women mosquitoes, who have a |
sucking proboscis formed of a membra-
neous sheath inclosing from two to six
Jancets that could easily puncture an iron
plcycle tire, or drill a hole in a steel rail- |
road track. The side pieces of the pune
curing lancets seem to be protected with
sheet iron, and serve not only as suction
tubes, but as supporters and protectors of !
tne lancets. The members of this order
carry knobbed balancers or poisers. be-
hlnd their winglets, which they use when
gettlng ready for an attack. They work
py daylight, and are very fond of human
blood so fond in fact that they often at
tack the Weary Wilies who happen to
get or the road to Newark. 1t is a COM
mon thing in this newly discovered coun-
try to see a Weary Willie tramping along
with an old tin wash-boiler on his head
and tin tomato can covering each hand
On such an occasion you will see the bat
TALON commander of the skeet band hus
tie home to notify the Sawyers all of
Whom carry can openers with them. The
SaWyers then attack the Wiliies, cutting
through their tin protectors.
must mention the regimental band
OF musicians" continued the professor
Ihey are men mosquitoes with plumed
ahtennae. They are not fond of war, but
are big, good-natured, peaceful fellows
VINO simply fit from flower to flower sip
ping the dew and sweet juices, requiring
htte II any food, propagating their spe-
cIes and then dying Now and then the
musicians go out at the head Of the army
sent TO make war upon some new seaside
resort, but these poor fellows, as a rule,
never come back to Jersey While 1 was
exploring their territory yesterday man
aged to get into one of their council meet
lhss. OF course / have not learned their
language as yet, but l understand a few
OF the things which they buzz about The
SUBJECT discussed yesterday was a new
peach The musicians gathered-there
" ere two or three million of themAand
4ley opened the meeting with a doleful
GIT A committee from Staten Island re-
Poi teu Indt new trolley car line had been
Established and that new beach resort
mad been opened up to the public on the
Htsterly shore of Staten Island The COM
fHttee seemed to have said the place was
called Midway Beach, for in a minute
ulere was a great buzz and the musicians
present sawed off a chunk of tune that
sounded like this: Izz izz-ezz-ezz-izz: izz-
elz-izz-ezz-izz; izz, ezz, izz'
Ho0 see" continued the professor THE
committee got the name of the beach mix
a Gbaxy aHaI1 rr Rrs-lt
arId not Midway. But there was great iol-
NY and cheering and dancing around when
tHe committee made its report The old
crairman, big, gray-bearded MOSQUITO
appointed a committee of 100000 sawyers
and $4,000 600 lancers to take care of the
new beach on Staten Island. The commit
zee on summer boarding houses reported
maj business was bad, but that the vari-