davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30
POETRY.
THE TRUE WOMAN.

her hands
Need not be pretty nor possessed of rich
lands.
She needn't wear clothes lust teeminp
with style;
She needn't possess the first worldly
Her eyes may be brown, her eyes may
10 him she's a beauty away through
and through
If she's true.
It's her soul that he cares for, her stead.
fast deyOtion,
Her love as unbounded, rs free as the
ocean,
The touch of her hands, the glance of
her eye,
The swift rush of color that comes when
he's nigh
The thousand and one little things she
can do,
That show him so plainly right through
and through
That she's true.
What does it matter if others are fajrer =
She possesses a virtue that makes her
far rarer
Than professional beauties, cold hearted
and vain.
She would give him her all, and care not
to gain
Aught, but smile, Il low " love you, y
Which thrills her whole being away
through and through
For she's true.
Days may be dark, days may he fair;
In sickness, in health, in JOY, in despair
She proves in each crisis that her love
is real
LII Shines on serenelv, come woe or veal.
The world counts for nothing, what can
IT. do
If she belongs to HIM utterly all through
and through
And is true?
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30
NUMBER 80.

HIS LONGEST DAT.-A scrious
hammered Irish member named
Blake, relates Henry W. Lucy in tho
North American Review, is rcmom-
bered for a brief correspondence he
read to the delighted House. 1t WAS
introduced in speech delivered i'm
debate on the Irish Sunday-closing
Dill. Mr.. Blake had, ne COniiden-
TALLY informed the House, an uncle
who regularly took six tumblcrs of
whiskey. toddy daily. This troubled
hlm' ana after much thought he re-
solved to write and demonstrate with
MS relative. The following was tho
letter: " My Dear TncIe Il write to
say how pleased | should be if Won
could see your way to giving up
your siN glasses of whiskcy day.
! am sure you would find many ad-
Vantages in doing so, the greatest of
which would be that, as am Dor
suadcd, it would be the means of
iengthening your days" The uncle
replied :" Ny Dear Nephew Il am
obliged to you for your dutiful letter.
was so much struck by what y0u
said, and, in particular, bv YOUR
kind wish to lengthen my days, that
last Friday gave up the whiskcy.
believe you are right, my boy, as to
my days being heightened, for, be-
dad 1t was the longest day ever
remember"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

A TOUGH WE'RE. English is said
TO be one of the hardest languages In
the world for foreigner to learn,
The verbs and propositions are par
ticularly puZzling. An educational
journal tells of the troubles of a
Frenchman with the verb "to
break"
l begin to understand your lam
guage better, said my French friend
Nj. Dubois, to me, but your verbs
trouble me still. You mix them up
so with propositions.
saw your friend, Mrs. MurketOn,
just now, he continued. She saws
she intends to break down her school
earlier than usual Am | right
there?
Break up her school, she must
have said.
Oh, yes, l remember; break up
her school.
why does she do that? | asked.
Because her health is broken into.
Broken down.
Broken down? Oh, yes And i'm =
deed, since fever has broken up in
Broken out.
She thinks she will leave it for a
few weeks.
Will she leave her house alone?
No; she is afraid it will be-bro-
ken How do / say that?
Broken into.
Certainly; it is what / meant to
say.
Is her son to be married soon?
No, that engagement is broken
broken
Bro ken off.
Yes broken off.
All, I had not heard that
She is very sorry about it. Her
son only broke the news down to her
last week. Am right? | am anx-
ious to speak English we'll.
He merely broke the news, no
proposition this time.
1t is hard to understand. That
young man, her son, is fine young
fellow--a breaker, / think.
A broker, and fine fellow. Good
day! So much for the verb " break. -
Chicago EecOrd.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

DIAGNOsING A CAsE.-Helen r.
Gardiner, in Harper, relates this
medical anecdote az one she heard
from surgeons assistant, a trained
nurse.
It was japanese boy. He was as
solid as little OK, but he told DR.. G
that he'd been taking a homeopathic
prescription for cold. That was
enough for DR.. G. A red flag in the
van of bovine animal is nothing to
the word " homeopathy" 20 Dr.. G.
He questioned the little Jap, who
could not speak good English, and
had the national inclination to agree
with whatever you say.
" Did you ever spit blood ?" asked
DIR. q. by and by, after he could find
nothing else wrong except the little
cold for which the homeopathic
doctor was treating the boy.
Once" replied the youthful vic.
tim.
4" Aha we are getting at the root
or this matter DOW," said DIR. G
Now tell me, truly. Be careful.
Did you spit much blood. ?"
Yes, sir, good deal"
The doctor shifted. He always
knew that a homeopathic humbug
could not diagnose case, and would
he likely to get just about as near the
facts as light cold would come to
tuberculosis.
" How long did this last ?" he in
quired of the smiling boy.
&" think-it seems to me-
"A half-hour?" queried the doc
tor, twenty miDutes?"
81 think so. Yes, sir. About
half an hour-tweDty minutes" re-
sponded the obliging youth.
heard that talk. Common.sense
told me the boys lungs were all
right; but it was none of my busi-
ness. So watched him treated, of
and on, for lung trouble for over a
month before got a chance to ask
him any questions. Then / asked,
incidentally:
What made you spit that blood
that time, Gihi?
{" didn't know / ought to swal-
low him." he replied, Legged
and anxious. " Dentist pull tooth.
He say to me, Spit blood here.'
do like he tell me. Your doctor say
ver' bad for lungs spit blood. Next
time ! swallow him."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

WHEN the steamer Queen was
about to sail for Alaska from Seattle,
a few days ago, in the height of the
rush to Klondike, man rushed down
to the purser and exclaimed, excit-
edly: Look here, / paid for state
room for myselfand wife, and when |
got there found an old COW sticking
her head through the window" -
am very sorry, SIR" said the purser,
" we are very crowded, but | will do
the best | can for you. John !"
turning to deckhand, "g0 up on
deck and turn that cow aroundu
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30
j AMES A. LOWE.
Matchmaker, |evsleE and 3ptisisa,
LEWISBURG, WEST VA.

CINCE the fire have moved into the
- building one door east of the IN
DEPENDENT Office, known as the
Mayors Office, where I will be glad to
see my friends and customers. Repair
ing of all kinds of Watches and Jew
eIry done neatly, permanently and
promptly, on reasonable terms. A full
supply of Spectacles and lenses fitted
to suit the eye. Examination free of
charge. Satisfaction guaranteed.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

PANTS" Pants are made for men
and not men for pants. Women are
made for men and not for pants.
When a man pants for woman and
a woman pants for a man, they are q
pair of pants, such mistakes leads to
breeches of promise. Pants are like
molasses, they are thinner in sum
mer and thicker in winter. Men get
on a tear in their pants some say it
is all right but when the pants get
a tear it is all wrong. There has
been much discussion as to whether
"pants" is singular or plural.
Seems to us when men wear pants
they are plural and when they don't
they are singular.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

"A DIAGNOSIS OF Foot BALL
Columbus Press Feet ball is played
with both feet. 1t is the American
national game from frost to turkey
time. After that the coroner takes
charge and the sport is allowed to
lapse into lnnocuous desuetude until
another autumn has produced
another crop Of kickers. Feet ball
is so called from reasons too obvious
to require elucidation. Some ety.
mologists give the word of "foot
ball." but tho best authorities prefer
the plural designation as represent
ing broader significance and more
feet. The game is said to be derived
from period coincident with the
siege Of Troy, when Archilles hit
Agammemnon belt in the COB and
was kicked in the stomach for his pre-
sumption. After that both elevens
got together and Homer wrote the
llliad. The essential characteristic of
feet ball is gladiatorial. The young
men who are best adapted to it are
long on hair and short on brains.
Those who go into it well equipped
In both usually leave the latter on
the field. Feet ball sees the old He
braic law and goes it one better. 1t
enlarges upon the doctrine. "An
eye for an eye. and a tooth for a
TOOTH" taking two ears and slob of
cheek for an eye and giving a whole
dentists shop for a tooth. Persons
VINO play the game habitually usu-
ally die In doing it. They pass away
happy, however. This is one reason
why we part with them without re-
gret.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

AN EMERG ENCY.-The old man
had billygOat" whiskers, and he
wore a brown hickory shirt with
white agate buttons, but his heart
was in the right place.
1t was in city store-nOt one of
the swell stores, but place where
they kept all sorts of toys and sold
them cheap.
An old Irish woman in Il shawl and
hood had just come i'm and stood fum-
bling with bare, trembling hands at
the wrappingS Of the parcel which
she carried. At last she undid the
knots in the stri,sS and took from
the paper little red wagon with one
wheel off.
Stepping up to the dapper floor
walker she said timidly: "'Tis a gift
fur Jamie, sir, all Oi can get 'im, an
1T bees broke-the wheel bees clane
atf it. Oh don't want to be putin the
blame on to no wan, but it must "a
ben done afOre Oh TUX it, fur Oi held
1t so tinderloike thet it cu'dn't IA
broke.n
Can't be helped. We are not re-
sp0nSible for breakage after custom
erS have received goods. Couldn't
have been done here. Saleslady
would have noticed it"
There was disappointed look on
the woman's face, and her lips
quivered as she began to tic up
the parcel.
The old man in the hickory shirt
stepped forward. "Hyur, lemme
see it. Cm-m, nuts Off'n th' wheel.
Young man, you kin fetch me Il nut
to fit that thar AK"
But We this is not repair
shop"
:" say, you fetch me a nut. You
Kin take one off'n one o. them others
carts, an you be quick about it."
But we don't" Here one of the
shop girls came up and whispered ::
Better get it. That old man Just
bought $50 worth of goods" Then
the dapper fellow went away and
soon returned with the required bit
of iron.
The old man coolly took his huge
complicated jackknife and opened
out small monkey wrench, with
which he fixed the wheel. Then ne
wrapped up the parcel bunglingly
ana handed it to the old woman.
She took it with trembling hands.
"Ol'm obloiged to ye, sir" said she,
and hugging the bulky bundle TO her
breast she went out into the street
and disappeared among the eager,
rushing, Jostling crowd of shoppers.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

DRUNKENNESS is the parent of
most other vices. It quenches the
salutary power Of reason, and makes
us the sport Of raging passion.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

A FORTNIGHT's SICK LEAVE.-
"Sore throat, eh ?" said the surgeon
to member of military band,
according to the Chicago Ne,cs
Let me see. Oh, that's not so very
bad. A slight nothing
more. You'll be all right in a day
or two. think you had better take
no risk i'm renewing the trouble by
using your throat, though, so | will
recommend you for fortnight's
sick leave"
Armed with the surgeons certifi.
cate, the bandsman obtained his two
weeks sick leave. The two weeks
had just come to and end, when he
met the surgeon on the parade
ground. The bandsman saluted
The surgeon recognized the face and
stopped.
How's the throat?" he asked,
pleasantly.
It's quite well, SIR" was the re-
ply.
"That's good" said the surgeon
" You can get back to your duty with.
out fear. Blythe way, what instru.
ment do you handle in the band ?"
"The small drum sir" said the
musician.
RAN IN THE BLOOD.-The ordi-
nary of a Georgia county invited all
the war veterans to meet at his office
on certain day. When the day ar
rived he was surprised at the number
OF young men who put in appearance
"Gentlemen," he said, there must
be some mistake. l wanted to meet
war veterans, and | am here con.
fronted with majority of the young
men of the county"
"Ordinary," spoke up one tall,
sockless fellow, "it's true we never
done no fightin', but our families did,
and ef we don't inherit the burned
war I'd like to know who does =,
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

The man who goes away to spend
the summer usually spends also
about five hundred dollars.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

OF FIRST IMPORTANCE" Yes"
she said, confidentially, to her dear
est friend, "it's all settled. We're
to be married next month. We've
practically made all our arrange
ments." II suppose you will go to
house. keeping at once" suggested
the dearest friend. "Of c0urse.n
Have you picked out flat yet ?"
Oh, dear, no we have attended to
the more important matters first"
she explained. We went down
town yesterday and picked out 0nr
tandem wheel"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

81 wIsH," said the young man,
!" that you would be less formal and
call me by my .irst name." "I'd
rather not" replied his fair compan-
ion - yOur last name suits me-" A
few minutes later they were discuss
ing the merits of the different firms
that supply furniture upon the in-
Stallment plan.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

THE BACHELOR SAYS.-The newer
a woman gets the older her husband
looks.
If the devil tried to tempt some
women they would make an awful
fool Of him.
Don't marry girl who thinks she
may learn to love you. \ little learn
ing is dangerous thing.
No married man who keeps house
Is ever warm enough in the winter
or cool enough in the summer.
Most every year the women try
hard to fool the men by ringing in
Mother Hubbards on them with
some new name.
Don't Judge man by the clothes he
wears. Form your opinion from
the wearing apparel of his wife.
Don't be clam. If you must be
anything of that kind, be a turtle.
Then you will have a little snap about
you.
Don't take bull by the horns.
Take him by the tail and then you
can let go without getting some ono
to help you.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

WISE WORDS.-Go loses it's shine
when it is gotten by guilt.
The best safe for your money is a
prudent wife.
y giant among giants is not aware
OF his own size.
The ass might sing better if he
didn't pitch his tune so high.
The man rObs others who does not
make the best Of himself.
No man ever gets discouraged i'm
trying to live without working.
Woman is lovely dream-and
dreams always go by contraries.
Everybody says go up higher to
the man who is getting there.
Call little man great and other
little people will throw up their hat Is.
Absence makes the heart grow
fonder-of some other person.
TO get the good out of the years we
must learn to live each hour we'll.
A shallow man may always see the
face of fool by looking into deep
well.
Love may be blind, but it can smell
the cloves on a mans breath Just the
same.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

YORKSHIRE WAS ALL RIGIIT.-
In market town smOkc-rOOm some
farmers were having their evening
glass. Among them was a York
shireman, known to be Il terribly
Keen hand at driving Il bargain.
AS the evening wore on he got a
bit " warped" and one of the COM
pany took advantage of this to make
an exchange Of horses with him,
which was, however, only effected
after lot of haggling -" the horses
10 be taken over exactly as they
are-with all faults"
AS soon as the deal had been rati-
fled by shaking hands, and each man
standing drinks around, all the COM
pany Joined heartily in the laugh
against the "tyke," when the other
man said:
"Sam, I've done you this time.
My horse is dead 'un-dicd this
morning !"
"Oh, no, you haven't." replied
the Gorkshiremau, with a knowing
look. 81 know all about that. NV
horse died this afternoon, and,
what's more, Pve taken off his
shoes ~
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

A Kansas preacher thus brought
his discourse to a sudden stop on
Sunday: Brethen, will now
close, for | see that we are going to
have thunderstorm. The congre-
CATION will please follow me to
Brother Soandso's field and help him
slack his Wheat.n
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

I" IT is really remarkable" said
Mr.. Meekins, "to note how many
eminently successful men were re-
garded as stupid when they were in
school," "Yes," replied his wife,
in significant tone, and the most
interesting point is that the most of
them did not begin to acquire any
reputation for being smart until after
they were married.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-30

A typewriter letter was sent to a
farmer in Burke County, \. G., from
the State Board of Agriculture. He
thought it was an insulting intima-
ton that he could not comprehend
"pen and ink writing" and he in
dignantly returned it, stating that he
could read Writin, Yit.n
The record-union., 1897-05-30

and $2d2 % for fancy; Grape Fruit, $4a
TROPICAL FRUIT-Bananas, slg2 pei
suneh PneaRpss a45ss e eTssn per 1ates
DRIED FRUITs-Following are the
Fruit Exchange:
Carload ts-Apricots-Fancy Moor
choice, &C; standard, 6hc; prime. SIG.
Peaches-Fancy, &c, choice, sc; standard,
419c; prime. 4c; peeled in boxes, C. Nee
C; prime. C. Pears-Fancy, halves, &C;
do quarters, &c; choice, Sc; standard. 212c:
prime, &c. Apples-Evarorated. 5Ac; sun
dried, 2g21zc. Prunes, sizes, 2q2Ac;
White Figs, Sc; black do, &C. Plums, 1l2C
for unpitted and 4c for pitted.
Raisins-Carload lots. F. o. B. Fresno
In sacks or 50-fb bboxes-Four-crown loose,
41ac; 3-crown loose, &c; 2-crown loose. Sc;
Seedless Sultanas, &c; Seedless Muscatels,
Three-crown London layers, ST. clusters,
5; Dehesa clusters, $; Imperial clus
BUTTER- -Creamery-Fancy. 15c per ID;
special brands, higher; seconds, 13l3a14l4c
Choice. 12Iaai3c: lower grades. i1G12c
CHEESE-Faney mild new. 714dSc: fair
to good. 7a719c; California Cream Ched-
Eastern. 14@15c per fb; Western. 12@1Sc
EGGS-11012c per dozen for store and
121a61415c per dozen for ranch; Eastern,
l2a13c: Duck Eggs. 1214c per dozen.
PoHLTRY1amzLI5ve TurkeysmGobble1rss m 1sI l$ q
s2m3 50 for small, s414 50 for large;
Fryers. $5@5 so; Hens, SO 5OG4; Ducks,
50 25@S 80 for old, 50 5O@5 for young
Geese S1d1 % per pair; Goslings, $1Q1 %;
Pigeons 81 25d1 IS per dozen.
GAME-Nominal.
The record-union., 1897-05-30
SACRAMENTO MARKET.
Nothing New in the Situation in Local
Produce Circles.
Sacramento, May 29th.

Sacramento, May 29th.
Trade to-day was of ordinary character
for the last day of the week. The markets
were we'll supplied with all lines of season
able goods, and at prices which We're in
reach OF all.
Following are the retail prices for the
FLOUR-Family Extras, 81 40 per 100
lbs: 81 % for so lbs.
T-Oranges-Havana Seedlings %
M4Gc per dozen; Lines. 10c; Lemons, 15Go
25c per dozen; Cocoanuts, 10c each Ba-
nanas. 25c per dozen; Strawberries, SC per
ha sket Cherries, 5ul0c per ID: Gooseher-
ries sc per Id: Raspberres, 1Oc per ID :
Wild Blackberries, l0c per H. Currants,
Zoe per 10; Apricots, 10c per 10
NUTS-New Wainuts. l2l5c per rb New
Almonds. l2lac; New. Brazils. 12lac; Pc
Pine Nuts, I5c: Hickory Nuts. 10c.
DAIRY PRODUCE-Butter-Pi 200
2lc per 10: Mountain. zoe; Valley Roll. 1Sll
2Oc: Pataluma, 35c per roll: Creamery, 35c
per roll Cheese-California. 15c per Id:
Young America, l7c: Eastern Creamery.
l5u2Oc: Genuine Swiss. 40c: American
Swiss. soc: Martins Creamery, zoe; Sage
Cheese. zoe: Neufchatel. 1Oc
VEGETABLES--Spina sc per ~ AS
Peas. 21sc per ID; Cucumbers, SC each: To-
matoes, 12lac per N: Celery, sc per head ;
Cauliflower, 10c per head; Artichokes 40c
per dozen: Rhubarb. DC per ID. New Pota-
toes. 2iac per 10; Nevada and Oregon Pota-
toes 81 So per leo Tbs; New Early York
Cabbage, sc per head; Turnips. Beets.
Parsnips. Carrots. Lettuce. Radishes
Leek and Green Onions. 12Hc per
dozen punches; Onions, &c per 10; Dried
The record-union., 1897-05-30
sssss1s9s2s22Ss9e21

Peppers. 15c per 10; Dried Okra, 20c per
10; Summer Squash, Sc per ID; Wax
Beans, SC per 10; Green do. Sc per 10
Windsor do, sc per 10; Green Peppers, zoe
per 10.
POULTRY-Hens. 6oc eacn; Springs. SOC
each; Broilers. 40c each; Tame Geese. 81 50
each; Tame Ducks. 15c each; Young Tur-
Keys. zoe per 10
EGGS-California. 15c per dozen.
MEATS-Beef-Prime Rib Roast. 121a0
i5c; Loin Steak. 12Aq15c; Rump Steak,
l0c; Chuck Roast. 10c; Rump, Sc; Brisket
Sc; Chuck Steak 10c. Neal-Loin and Rib
Chops. 15c: Roast Veal 12c. Mutton-Leg,
l1Q121ac: Loin and Rib Chops, 12i@c; Nut
ton Stew, Sc; Shoulder Chops, Sc Pork,
6Ql2c per 10; Corned Beef, SQ1212c; Sau-
sage, 12l2c; Vienna Sausage. 15c; Bacon,
s41342c; Ham, 121aQ1312c
HAY AND GRAIN-Oat Hay, 50a55c
per cwt; Alfalfa, first cutting. 45a50c; Sec
ond and third cutting. 50Q55c; whole Bar
ley Soc; Ground Barley, 81 %; Feed Oats.
Straw. 50Q55c; Corn, 81 10 per ctl; Cracked
GRANITE MINING CANDLES
lWholesale), 10 OF. 634c; II OF. &c; IA or.
ELECTRIC LIGHT CANDLES
I!sWNholIeesale). 10 OF, 5Ac; II OF, &C; IA or.
6a4c; 16 OF, 712c
COAL OIL-(Wholesale) Pearl. lie; Star.
&c; Eocene, 19c; Elaine, 22c; Extra Star,
21c; Water White (bulk), 111kc
SOLINE-(Whoesale) Stove Gaso-
line, cases. 17c; Stove Gasoline, bulk. ukc:
Sc degree Gasoline, cases. 25c; IS degree
Gasoline, bulk. 20c; 63 degree Benzine
cases, l615c; 63 degree Benzine, bulk. 11c