The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-09-19
AN UNFORTUNATE EXPERIMENT..
Jones Was Not as Much of n Charac-
ter Reader as He Thought.

Jones Was Not rs Much of n Charac-
ter Reader as He Thought.
From the New York Journal
John Jones was telling his wife-they
had not been married very long, by the
way-about a man who came home one
night so drunk that he had to lie down
on the floor, while his wife pulled his shoes
off for him. He also mentioned the fact
that this mans wife did not seem to take
her husbands condition to heart very bad
ly, but made rather a joke of it and twitt-
ed him in the morning quite good-humored-
ly.
Such a spirit" remarked Jones, STRIKES
me as being very creditable to woman. 1t
isn't every mans wife who regards an oc-
casional lapse SO leniently. Now, as you
know l am not a drinking man, but if
should get drunk one of these nights-I
say if l should-how would you take it?'
And he watched her face carefully as he
asked the question.
Mrs. Jones laughed heartily. The idea
seemed to amuse her very much. But she
Strengthened out her features and assum-
ed a shocked expression. ~ should be dis
gusted, john" she said, perfectly dis
gusted. Why, l shudder at the mere idea
of your being intoxicated. You would lose
my respect John, right away, and what
ever you do, you, must never forfeit that.
No John, dear, l could never stand your
being drunk
John listened with great attention to this
reply and ne came to the conclusion that
she didn't mean a word Of it. He had de-
tected in the tone of her voice what he
stamped in his mind as false note? Jones
was something of reader of character,
and in his own quiet way he had been
studying the various phases of his wife's
disposition ever since they had been mar
ried, two years ago.
He therefore, determined to see precise
ly how she would conduct herself if he
did come home drunk one night, or rather,
if she thought him drunk, for he decided
to simulate the condition in order to make
his observations.
Dear me-" murmured Mrs. Jones, one
night or early morning, about a week af-
ter their conversation already noted. Il
wonder where John can be! He's never
been so late before out playing poker l
| feel quite anxious.
The hour was a. m, and Mrs Jones
was seated in a chair with book in her
! hand, which she was not reading.
Suddenly she heard the rattle of key in
the lock of the outer door of the fiat, and
| in a few moments her ears noted the
sound of something stumbling along the
hall. She grew pale, and stood up. The
parlor door was opened with considerable
violence, and she saw. Well, she could
scarcely believe her eyes at first Was
this her husband? The spectacle in the
open doorway was that of a man with a
| battered hat, torn coat and trousers
spashed with wet mud. His clothes sim
ply reeked with whisky. He gazed at her
blinking eyes and his mouth trembled
and leered al her. His Eyeglasses were
fastened on to his right ear.
"'Lov
"Oh, john" was all she could say.
"'Lo, M'riar he repeated, so! Wash
mar? wy n jer come n gimme kiss,
hey?" Then he chuckled. "HEY?" he
said again, in a loud and fierce tone Of
voice
"Oh, john" she said approaching him
with reluctance, "come into the room, for
goodness sake, and close the door. The
people in the fiat above will hear you"
On care f they dol" he replied, still
hanging on to the knob and swaying about
unsteadily. "Who cares? Ha, ha, ha!
Who cares? Devil bitl'
She closed the door and he Immediately
slipped to the floor with a thump. She
surveyed him as he lay there with an ex-
preston on her face that had never been
there before. And then she wondered
what was to be done. As she wondered
he made two or three spasmodic move
ments as though trying to rise, but he
fell back each time. Finally, he kissed
his hand TO her in maudlin fashion, hit
ting himself in the eye.
pull off boots! he commanded.
She turned away with a glance of aver
sion.
pun off bootsr' he repeated, banging
his heels on the carpet. She hesitated for
an instant. but obeyed him. However did
you set your clothes all over mud that
way7" She asked him.
"Huh2 oh. fell n street-thash how"
he replied. "or shut, whash odds, any
way?"
As matter of fact. 1t really was an old