The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1897-09-30
SMITH BLOWS HIS OWN HORN.


Readers of the G l o b e were duly ad-
vised at the time of the selection by
the president of his discoverer, the
real, only genuine, original Mckinley
man, one Joseph P. Smith-by one of
those frequent condolences also an
Ohio man-and his installation in
charge of what has been irreverently
termed the vermiform appendix of our
government, the Bureau of American
Republics. They have also been told
how the representatives of the other
members of this bureau, who were con-
tributors to the salary and other incl
dental expenses of the office, intimated
that, as they helped pay the shot, they
might at least enjoy the courtesy
of being consulted as to who should be
the bureaus director, a protest that
hindered Mr.. Smiths access to the sal
airy for a few days. The president is
said to have arched his eyebrows in
surprise at this absurd interruption of
his dispensation of pie, and to have
told Mr.. Sherman to fix it somehow so
Joe could get in, and do it quick.
Smith has been in office some four
months now, and the publications of
his delectable bureau have been COM
ing out regularly with nothing to indi-
cate that Smith had any better notions
about them than Clint Kurdish OF any
of the other superfuities had, except
that the number of advertising pages
has been largely increased, number
ing in the latest some sixty-two pages,
inclusive Of covers. If Joe gets av-
erage rates, he should be pretty nearly
self-sustaining. But we believe this
publication is unique in being the first
one to carry advertisements and be
made a source Of profit to the govern
ment, Or some one. But the ADVERTISE
ments are not the only indication of
the thriftiness Of Joseph. We find in
the September issue a long argument
in favor of the construction of the Mic
aragua canal, in which sundry gen.
tlemen imagine there are millions,
but to whose construction they cannot
see the way clearly unless the United
States furnish the hundred or two mil
lion dollars required. 1t is valuable
boost to their enterprise to have it
duly doomed in a government publica-
ton, and we have no doubt Mr. Smith
has accurate notions of the value of
advertising space and of the compensa-
ton due promoters. His having been,
prior to his elevation, an active, prac-
teal Ohio politician is our warrant
for assuming that Joe did not write
this elaborate argument and print it
in his Bulletin for fun.
But Smith does not intend that the
world shall remain in ignorance Of
himself and of his eminent abilities
and arduous labors. He is no gem of
purest ray serene to lie buried IN
this vermiform appendix, Tor d
rose born to blush unseen, nor
a public functionary inlmured in silent
walls. Accompanying the copy of the
September Bulletin that came to our
table is pamphlet of forty-eight pag-
es, bearing the imprint of his bureau
tie page announces that it is devoted
to Spanish American Trade" the "Ad-
vantages" of which ITO the United
States" are Discussed by an Author
ity." We have gone patiently through
all the pages, only to find that the
authority is none other than Joseph
himself, who reprints here all he has
said to reporters. There is a long spe-
cial to the St Louis Globe-Democrat
telling what Joseph P. Smith, director
of the bureau of American republics,
said on one topic; another long one to
the Chicago Tribune, also containing
his outpourings; another to the COM
mercial Advertiser stating some things
according to Joseph P, director etc.
Still another special tells of Director
extracts from it, although what the
| bureau of American republics has to
do with Alaska is matter the Central
| American partners may we'll be asking
about. After going through it, we feel
convinced that the title page is mis-
| leading Instead of Spanish American
Trade it should be The Present Di-
rector of This Bureau Advantages of
the United States in Having Him as
Director, Discussed by Himself"