The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-03-26
FUN.

When We are married you will give
me everything / ASK"
Everything. sweetheart, every
thing"
And then he walked home TO saw
car fars.-Truth-
Mamma. what is the bicycle indus
try?"
We'll. 1t must be the way We all
have to hop aroun and wait on your
father when he takes a notion to clean
his wheel."-Detroit Free Press
Dollie: / took of my hat at he the
atre last night.
Dora: You don't mean it?
Yes. ! do"
Whatever possessed you?
What was the use OF keeping IL n
I was in the very bach seat.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Teacher lin Philadelphia SCHOOL,
Philadelphia was settled by the Quak-
ers in 1852. Now. Willy Green. tell us
what happened after that?
Willy Green Qately from New York;
-Nothin',
Cholly-My lear fellow. I do wish
you'd lend me that ten l asked for. It's
a case of life or death"
Tom-How can that be?
Cholly-Why. I've got to pay five Of
il TO Algy or my credit will be killed,
-Harper's Bazaar.
"A classical education" remarked
the cynical professor, lis a good thing
in some cases. But don't you ap-
prove of it general?' NO 1t strikes
me as highly Objectionable when 1t
goes no further than to enable a young
woman to put good Latin into bad
Observation-Disclosures Star.
THAT goes without saying, says young
Mr.. Vaughan.
The BOOSTERS already were growing
What bothers me mostly" said Kate,
with a yawn,
lis something that says without go4
ing"
Detroit Free Press.
Necessary Precaution-Tramp cat
kitchen door)-That cake smells tempt
in.
Cook-It's some the cookin' school
young leddies made-twiney things
mixed wild forty things"
Il wish / had some"
"Wull, Oil give We a piece if yell
ate it outdoors. Oh don't want We to die
in tn house."-New York Weekly.
Distant Observation-Disclosures no.
tice your name is De Million. Are you
related to the wealthy De Millions of
New York?
Poor but Respectable De Mnlion-I
am "a distant relation. sir.
Indeed? How distant?"
We'll, sir, as distant as they can
keep me, sir."-New York Weekly .
This butter seems strong" said the
young husband, at their first break
fast at home.
Yes" she answered, Il talked to the
market man about that. and he said
it was economy in the end never to buy
veal butter. He said that even though
this might cost a little more. people
could get along with less of it, and it
would last Observation-Disclosures Star.
1t was in an Irish court that a man
was called into the witness box not
long ago, n being old and just a little
blind, he ven too far, in more thar
one sense, and, instead of going VI
the stairs that led to the box, mount
ed those that led to the bench. Said
the judge, spontaneously: 1T is /;
judge you want to be, my good man."
All, sure your Honor" was the reply,
I'm an old man now, and maybe its
all I'm fit for."-Household Words.
That was a very queer poem on THE
Three Ages of Man" you published in
your paper his morning. said the
man who happened in. The general
understanding is that there are seven
ages of man."
1T was written The Seven Ages OF
Man," explained the worried Sunday
editor, but / had to cut it down to
three on account Of a lack of space
Chicago Tribune.
Little Clarence: PAP" Mr.. Calip-
errs: There, my son; stop right
where you are! 1 do not know who
Gains wife was, nor why Monday does
not come on Friday, nor why some peo-
pie can wiggle their ears and others
cannot, nor anything of the kind" Lit
tie Clarence: 20 pa! 1 wasn't going
to ask any such foolish questions; !
just wanted to know why people al.
a write fms without the final h.
Puck.