The Portland daily press., 1897-01-02

"Mr. Bowser,'' began Mrs. Bowser the
other evening as the pair sat reading and
the family cat purred softly on the hearth
rug, edo yoE know that you have got to
make radical change in some of your
little ways or / shall know the reason
why?"
"W-whatr' gasped Mr.. Bowser as he
looked and then rubbed his eyes as IL won
dering whether he was awake or dream
ing.
"For instance, she continued, II want
you to keep out of the kitchen and stop be-
ing a hen hussy. You are always poking
around there and bothering the cook, and
I want it to cease"
"You-you are talking to meP' whis-
rered Mr.. Bowser, looking at her In the
straugest sort of way.
Eyes, sir, am talking to You. You
found fault with the meat tonight. Don L
do it againl / buy the meat, and what's
good enough for me is good enough for
you. If you don't like my table, you can
go to a restaurant.
Mr.. Bowser opened his eyes and mouth
and stared at her Was it Mrs. Bowser
who sat therep Was that Mrs Bowser's
veiceP Was this his wife, who had permit
ted herself to be bluffed and brow beaten
on hundred occasions when he felt "off
and wanted to take it out Of some one? BE
plncAeo ais eg. Hereacheu up anu ssroHco
his nose Yes, he was awake and that
was Mrs Bowser and she was giving hina
"sass.' He must sit down on her at once
and with the utmost emphasis.
"Mrs. Bowser-womahi'' he shouted as
he sprang to his feet s'What on earth do
you mean py sucn iahguage, Do yoa
knoM VINO you orc u ar IT, ~. >,
iU lisn' uomh, aiaa o vs., T., s tIo ~ ~
a@y Ioplioa es eno $50 s.atT;, - NJ, ~. ~"
knom VIZ am Va 1870 . ~. 'a ~
guage - an iisn@ .ou a.o spo oin la "a
.ose.uef wy uuon nooy - So, Va.
aatus anu az .no oiap an. Wang "a
paif VI oarnoo ssooAlnss pocs'"so Low "
eeonoinize' WINE YOU enin Ao oe.an 80, =.
throwing aMay sio "e0A' Ai'0f '''''
you come aoWn 70 WV -,
by ehe greao morn spooI, guy
no USE, har. powsei' sne ih h
fup'ea' VIC afe my 'aiAihs ooouu Ho1n
spoons OF any o'nei soro VI spoon - ~
looking over my c,oseo eouay louhu "a, ioe
Oh your COLLARS anu sooAs III pnoic' my
are on tne aoor ~ i.'n. =. youi uiesse,,
together WIN GUNS, neoA'.os' sliiloo anu
vests. "nen you ~ , up suslIrs' you siehes
put tneni away OF - 0hrow Iiieln GUY u
the WINDOW. you nave no more oroer 1ii'an
pig, ana IVs goe tireu 'ahlhg cale u
your 'ninss' noyioS 'ou 81 .
new pair ., shoes wnloh .nusu na 49,, oo1S &c
OF so' wiiie you haso WV y. un -. .a 90
worn pairs IN inc house. nuso puy 90
SHOES III ofoer TO eeohoiniz1 g anu mear 0, ,l
uhIii NY .oos soloA ou'. -"S' w ="
oiianso' N1,.
de was looking az ner, ms lace whiee
ana req py turns, anu his eyes poisihs oa0
as II ghoso scooa pelore MN.
ana announcer thing, sne welV VI
lnIs peying i,apeno ineoloinos any @
cfachs mas gov W guile W "n 1nu 49,
spohlacn can gee aions miDnouo no"
prano Oh sarsapaIhia VI ploosls WY wy
of ehree uays' WIN soiiopouy sinp ~
plils lor your liver oe'meen oilass' yu m,,
pe1ter go 70 peu anu ale ueoel'',y .as
inoney "i,ion you oliom a""y va oA
sOu1 wouia guy an my olo'nes
MI. 6owser trIeu 70 seI cuso Die ona
stand up. He tried to speak, but his
songue seemed to be nailed FAST Mrs.
Bowser looked him over and then said;
~ was looking into your dresser today,
BAd I noticed a bottle Of hair dye. The
IDEA of an old man like you, with bald
jpot on top Of your head, dyeing your hair
and trying to deceive the publicl Every
time you see me use powder rag you
sneer about it, and yet you buy hair dye
and have probably been to some madame
to have your wrinkles removed. Are you
fixing to frisk around as a gay old Lo-
thario?"
"Wo-wo"-
That was all. He couldn't get a whole
word ont. while his face was SO red that
Mrs. Bowser feared a stroke of apoplexy.
She had moro to say. however
"Eyery now and then YOU threaten me
with a divorce case and talk about my 60
ing home to mother. If you want d.
yoroe. why don i YOU apply for it2 have
q deed of this house and lot And as for my
going home TO mother or going anywhere
else. don't YOU worry. I propose to stay
right here, If any one leaves, it will be
vnu. The idea of men getting I'D and
browheating and bulldozine as most of
them 40. Inelr wives ougno 20 sl1 uoWn
on Them fIKG a ton Of Dr1CK. IlGr0'9 an