Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-01-16
- tac,rt> t-s~;.-- - -.
fnK1E|;lR|.
~ sat.. III y. 1sats. '''~-ss''

Tho ras,;sh language must bc tough.
A. least; that's what I've rechcncd,
Tor 1t is still alive to-day
Though murdered every second.
New lcsS T".;h.
Modern slang: ilc-I am doing to
G,ss,..... She We'll. like thst.-Town
Topics,
We'll. your sistvr is married. Now
it's your turn. Shc-Oh George. ask
rapa.-Ncw York Journal.
Tourlst-Arc we near the fails? Guide
Yes. sir IS soon as the ladies stop
talking you can hear the yorktown
Topics.
II don't see your mistletoe." said he.
CHANGING up ut the chandelier. rs 1t
really necessary replied she archly.
1t wasn't.-Iudgc.
us your picture in the academy sue.
ccssT" That's what am wondering.
Some one said II was worth the price
OF admission. Punch.
lic--Iones Is all right. suppose. but
he and | do not like each other Bit
Shc-well. that is much to the credit
OF both of you.-Cinclnnati Enquirer.
Amateur IIumorist-That's q pretty
good Joke Of mine: don't you think so?
Experienced Edltor-wcll. 1t IL Just as
funny now us Il ever was.-Somerville
Journal.
Iinks-what tender care your wife
takes OF you. Always worrying about
your health. Blnks-Yes: l have my
life insured In favor Of my sister,
New York Weekly.
Brown-l wonder who originated the
Idea that II Is unlucky to begin anything
on Friday? ENTHUSIASTICALLY 1t was
some lazy individual who preferred TO
wait until Saturlay.-Puck.
you don't mean to say you became
engaged TO him after but five hours nc.
Quaintance" Certainly. How much
time would you have me devote to one
engagement!"-l,rookiyn Life.
Bobby-ls oxygen what the oxen
breathe all day! Papa-Of course. ana
what everything else breathes. Bobby
And IA nitrogen what every one
brcathes at nigh,.-New York World.
This world is but n fleeing show,
And few ere they. alas!
Who can rake-up Il pull that's strong
Enough FOR free pass.
Indianapolis Journal
'Those Esklnios up In Alaska have
good. sound common sense" "llow so?'
"Why. when they fall In love with a
girl they announce II by sending her q
sealskln sacquc."-Chlcago Record.
she-1 presume the country editors
pathway Is not strcwn with flowers
He (plcasan;ly)-No. not exactly; but
We stumble on a bushc, OF potatoes oc.
cas!onally, or cord Of wood.--De;ro!,
Tribune.
Slster-Therc, you have candy all over
Jour new suit! What will mamma
say? Little Bro;her-well. mamma
won't let me have any fun In these
clothes till ! got 'em spoiled Boston
Traveller.
Ragged Hcubcn-I;'s dis ycre import
cd pauper labor OATS ruinin' all on,
prospects. Tattcred Jimmy - SURE
NUM-. Desc European noblemcn arc
comm over here ana snatchn' the picl
Of our 'ierlcan glrls.-BaZar.
First Horse-Wcll. they took poor ole
Dobb!n TO r4ie slaughter.housc to-day
Second Horsc--That's too bad. Firs
Iiorse-lt Is bad, but worse remains
They mean to make his hide into bl
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
"Any snakes in tlis nelGhborhood?
asked the Northern visitor. ITS cord
In to what you want" replied tn
moonlight manipulation; "a pint nigh
fetch 'em. but we give guarante
with every Quart."-Atlanta Constitu
t!On.
"What want" said tho lawyer, II
20 prove that my client Is mentally d.
ficient." Certainly" replied the cs
pert. There won't Ike the least troubl
In showing that, SO long as he has en-
ployed you az ILLS lawyer."-Washius
ton Star.
Observation-Disclosures, wot has bl
came Of Dippy Pete latclyY ChImm!'
dc sp0rt-Well, you see. he got to doll
everybody he could, and now Tough
mug-well? Chimmie. de Sport--He
dom time!-ClncinnatI Commcrcl,
Tribune.
Timmins-This talk about the typ
writer being q drawback to genius
all rot. ! do all OF my poems with
typewriter. SimmOns-YOu do? Ia
an idea that you made them with 81
OF rubber stamps Jou
nal.
~ shall have TO learn how to play III
flute" said Maud, as she watched IL
Autist in the hotel orchestra; "see no
gracefully he hold Is 1t. II could hol
an ear OF corn as gracefully as he hole
thar flute should not be afraid to c;
IL off the cob.
Prof. acknowledgement, Gentleme
IN essential TO all animal eXistenc
there could be no life without
strange 10 say, 1t was not Discovers
until century ago, when Studel
What did they do before 1t was dl
covered, rofessor?-HOusehOld Word
"May write you poem on II
beautiful snow?" asked the poet, tin
idly. "Yes," Numbered the editor, Il
out, SQUAT down In the snow and writ
In the meantime. Ill sit here and pra
that as fast as you write the sun WI
thaw 1t ut."-Philadelphia Mort
American.
,t.tA SSsS,.