Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1897-12-12
POINTS ON CALLING.
Rules of Etiquette That English
Women Are Supposed to
Follow.

From the London Queen.
One of the points in question is whether,
after having been present at a wedding
reception, or even having received an in
vitation to one, it is necessary to call upon
the parents Of the bride from whom it was
received. AS a rule it is so, and cards
should be left as after any other enter
tainment. Calls are not expected from
comparative strangers, and those coming
under this head should merely leave cards
within the week, unless the reception WAS
held at a hotel. in which case cards should
be left on the following day, if conve-
nient. that they may be received previous
to departure.
Again, "a very general inquiry is-on the
part of young brideS-how bridal calls
should be returned. 1t seems almost su-
perfluous to say the rules that apply to
ordinary calling are equally in force on
these occasions. and the bride should fol-
low them as any other married lady would
do 1t is quite an obsolete idea to sup
pose that a bride must remain at home
day after day to receive those who may
happen to call. On the contrary. the up
to-date bride allows her acquaintance TO
take their chance of finding her at home
or not, and returns the calls she has re-
be. She takes up the life she intends
leading from the moment of her return.
and does not give herself the penance of
an enforced stay. within doors during each
afternoon of week following week until all
possible callers have been duly received.
She does not wish to show her wedding
III
have already seen them: she does not in
tend Offering wedding cake to callers, as
it is not the fashion to do so; and she
prefers to make engagements for herself
for each day.
Change of address occasions no little I'M
certainty in the matter of calling upon
those to whom calls are not due and from
whom they are expected. In this case
II is usual to leave cards merely, without
asking if those called upon are at home,
and to pencil the words. Change of adj
dress at the top of the cards. II is a
useful plan, as it draws attention to the
new address printed upon the cards. or
the new address through which n pencil
mark is drawn. When those to whom calls
are due are lat home the change of ad-
dress should be mentioned in the course
of conversation. and the husbands cards
should also bear il.
1t should be an understood thing thai
calls of inquiry made during illness re-
quire the recognition of return cards OF
thanks being duly left4this as regards ac-
qu%aintances rather than intimate friends
and after convalescence. until cards have
been received or calls paid. further calls
should be deferred. Also. it may be men.
toned that cards of inquiry and sympathy
when a death in 4 family, has taken plac,
should not be left until after the funeral
The usual length of an ordinary cal
should not exceed twenty minutes. Init
mate friends naturally remain longer. from
half TO three-quarterS of an hour or more
but even in this case one intimate frient
of the hostess should not outstay another
If that other is a later arrival. with whom
the hostess has much in common. and Will
whom she might desire Il little private
conversation. There are eccentric peopl,
who will remain for three hours. ohlivious
of the fact that they are outstaying theii
welcome by two hours and Il half. Thes,
exceptional callers require Il little judi.
cious reminding of the fact, and it rests
with the host or hostess to do this eff
fectually with some good natured and ap
propriate remark. The late Lord -. III
elderly gentleman. well known in society
frequently tried the patience of his friend
by extending the afternoon call far int
the evening beyond the dinner hour. fol
lowing his host into the dining room. no
TO dine, only to talk: he was imperviou
TO any hints. and remained until ii please,
him to take his leave. There are. how
ever, but few people DESTROYS of emulatin:
such notoriety.