Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-06-24
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US say = ne - lilllnoueTaIelN iona or
red hair, because it looks so much bet
ter after it has turned gray.-Boston
Transcript.
She-"lou looked like fool when
you proposed to me-" He (gloomily)-
well. why didn't you tell me before
1t was too ate|'-DetrOit Tribune.
Mlhnle-"l want to introduce you to
a young lady-a very nice young lady
and she's worth her weight in gold"
Bob-"Stout girl, hope. ."-rit-Bits.
Judge-Well. now that you are back.
you can tell us how much it costs TO
go to Europe. "All you've got and all
you can borrow over there. Baltimore
News.
Mrs. Howso-"Did you attend Mrs.
Cumrock's funeral yesterdayY Mrs.
Saidso-"When she owes me call?
Why, the very dea!'-Washington
Times.
"Then you agree with the Rev. Mr..
Straitlace on the question of eternal
punishment| Not exactly. We both
believe in it, but I'm not in favor of it,"
Truth.
Employer-"1 thought you wanted to
go to your grandmother's funeral this
afternoon" Office Boy-"Please. sir.
1t was postponed on account of wet
grounds. Truth.
Miss Towney lin search of the idyllic.
at last meets real, live shepherd)-
Pray, tell me, gentle shepherd. where
is thy pipeF' The Gentle Shepherd
Il left it at oome, mum, cause | amt
got no 'baccy. ."-Tit-Bit
FINISHED your projected kineto-
scope yet?' asked the idle man. 1T
works beautifully" said the inventor.
"but the hardest part is to come"
Whats that?" Getting up a name
for t.'-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Where did you get the pretty bow
for your hair Nellie?" Guess it was
yours once. wasn't it," why no. why
do you think that:' cause sister
gave it to me, and heard her say she
gets all yours. '--Harper's Ba.ar.
Il suppose you may say the honey
moon is at an end when the husband
begins to stay out late at night" Not
exactly. 1t doesn't really end until the
wife can go to sleep again without be-
lieving what he has to say for himself"
Truth.
Mistress-"Did you ask for milk
bread" DomeStic-"Yes, num-" Mis-
tress-"What miserable little loaf
they gave yOu| DOmestic-"Yes,
mum. It's my opinion. mum, that the
baker is usin' condinsed milk. dublin
World.
NO man ever got rich" said the
cornfed philosopher, "by sitting down
and thinking what he would do if he
had S1.000.0O0. The fellows who got
there did so by thinking whom they
should do to get S1,OO0O00."
oils Journal.
Henry. you look very pale. What's
the troubleT' Il was stung to the
quick by an adder this afternoon"
How did it happen| why. ! drop
ped in at bank. and the bookkeeper
told me my account was overdrawn."-
Golfers Weekly.
"The difference between the Wagner
ties and the anti-Wagnerites is quite
simple What is it?" well, when
the Wagnerite can't understand Wag-
ner. he thinks it is his own fault while
the anti-Wagnerite. under similar cir
cumstances, thinks it is Wagner's
fault Puck.
at was really most enjoyable occa-
sion." remarked Miss Cayenne. ''Then
you regard it as worthy of being class
ed with the social successes of the sea-
son" "Oh. dear no. | couldn't think
of going so far as that. No one has yet
informed me how much it cost
Washington Star
Gadaround-I witnessed a perform
ance of Hamlet by village amateurs
out at Waybackville the other night.
Snarley-Must have been distressing?
highly amusing. Not one of the actors
forgot to say exit" every time he left
the stage.-Puck.
Il guess Jim can get away for that
fishing party all right" What makes
YOU think so?' 81 was up to his house
last night. His wife used to be an
amateur elocutionist before they were
married. and he asked her to recite!
She'll never refuse him now."-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer.
A Parliamentary Hint.-It was get
ting late, and still the venerable eX-
United States Senator fingered in the
parlor with the young people. Evident
ly something had TO be done. 81 hope,