davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
4 NOVEL SWINDLE.
An italian Pays $50 for n Lost GIns
Eve

A well known Italian cOnfcctioncr
in the downtown district was last
night made Il dupc in n novel swim
ding scheme. that cost him $50. \
stranger came to the fruit stand, and,
while looking over the bananas, sud
denly lost his glass eye among the
fruit. After searching for while he
went away, saying that if the Italian
found his eye he should take it to his
hotel, and there he would receive 500
for it. a few moments later another
stranger came along. The Italian saw
him grasp the glass eye while cXamin-
ing some fruit. That was too much
for the owner TO stand, and he offered
the stranger $50 for the eye. The
offer was accepted, but when the ltal-
ian took his prize to the hotel there
was no one there 10 reclaim it. He
notified the police of the swindle.-
Pittsburg Chronicle.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

Rather n novel proceeding came up
before Squire Hastings court one day
last week. \ writ of replevin had been
brought TO recover n horse that had
been traded while the plaintiff was I'M
der the influence of liquor. The de-
PENDANT was his own lawyer. He put
in n plea that IL person was never so
drunk but what he knew what he was
doing. and called in John Baker as Il
whisky expert, 10 prove that fact, but
it is said that the expert got tangled
M somewhat and failed to convince
the court that the position taken by
the defendant was correct. From this
on, we presume, whisky experts will
become popular, as we could mention
several that are in training. Boone
Banner
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

The old wife sat in the chimney place
Talking of days gone by
To the small granddaughter close at
her knee.
Eager and bright of eye.
"And only think" she finished, dear.
That sad Thanksgiving morn
All that the Pilgrims had to eat
Was. each one, five grains OF corn"
Out from his corner grandfather
Put in quavering word:
You're wrong. Priscilla Ann. you're
wrong,
Twas six, I've always heard"
"Pshaw, father, you've forgotten it.
No, child, twas only five"
Priscilla Ann, l say twas six,
AS sure as you're alive!"
"Twa'n't sikh" Twas. tool" "Why.
father." well,
amt so old, l guess.
But what l know twas ski" ooh.
land,
What silly foolishness!"
TTlSCllld Ann! eS, ldlueT. DIX.
The small granddaughter stared.
Then, crying, ran away. There, now. /.
You've got the poor lamb scared"
Il hain't!" "You have!" Here was
begun
A very pretty quarrel,
But that their daughter came in haste
To hear and point a moral
why, father! mother! quarreling,
And on Thanksgiving Day!
And all about grain of corn;
That's foolish, don't you say"
The old folks looked abashed. Twas
sikh"
"'Twas five!" "Why, no, twas
four,"
And then it really looked as though
"Twould all begin once more.
Till grandma, gulping down her wrath.
Said, We'll, they hadn't many;
But, sakes alive! If they hadn't five,
I'm thankful they had any"
Florence e. Pratt.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

AN AWFUL CRASH FOLLOWED.
quantity of soil was packed in between.
/ had heard many stories concerning
these islands, but hardly credited them.
Il gathered good quantity of wood
together and started fire, and sitting
down on the wet ground tried to make
myself as comfortable as possible.
Overcome by the exhaustion / had ex-
perienced l lay down and was soon
asleep. How long l slept is hard to
say, but It must have been about an
hour
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
THANKSGIVING STORY

I was Thanksgiv-
ing evening in our
camp on the Flam-
bleaux river,i the
northern part of
the Badger state.
After a dinner such
as can only be got
ten up in camp. we
had seated our
selves about the
fire and were in
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

Peanut waters are extremely palal-
able. Try them once and see. Here
is the recipe for making them. Cream
n cup of sugar and half cup of but
ter together. Dissolve half a teaspoon
full of soda in n half-cup of milk. pour
it into the butter and sugar, and then
add two cups of flour and beat all to-
gether until smooth. Spread the mix
ture thinly and evenly over the bottom
Of baking pan and strew the sur
face thickly with peanuts that have
been crushed into crumbs. Bake until
a light brown.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

Here's another funny fellow" said
first farming expert in the depart
M Of agriculture. Wants to know
h the government does not make
appropriation for spraying melon
Is so that the fruit will not all be
kroyed by worms"
Mere on to that sort of chap"
trkled the second expert. Il won
if he really thinks we don't know
i melons grow underground, like
EtOeS Judge.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

But why do l keep Thanksgiving,
Did / hear you Alright, my dear?
Why? When I'm all alone in life,
Not a chick nor a child to be near,
Johns folks all away in the west,
Lucy across the sea,
And not soul in the dear old home
Save little bound girl and me?
1t does look lonesome, | grant it;
Yet strange as the thing may sound,
I'm seldom in want of company
The whole of the merry year round
There's spring when the lilac bios
SONS,
And the apple trees blush to bloom.
There's summer when great moths iii:
and glance
Through the twilight's star-lit gloom.
Then comes the beautiful autumn,
When every fragrant brier,
Flinging its garlands on fence and
wall,
Is bright as living fire;
And then the white. still winter time,
When the snow lies warm on the
wheat,
And I think of the days that nave
passed away,
When my life was young and sweet.
I'm very happy woman
Today, though my hair is white,
For some of my troubles I've overlived,
And some / keep out of sight.
oil
dear.
AS travel along lifes road.
I'm always trying as best / can
To tighten my neighbours load.
That child? You should think she'd
try me?
Does she earn her bread and salt?
You've noticed she's sometimes indo-
lent,
And Incidence is a fault;
OF course it is, but the orphan girl
Is growing as fast as she can,
And to make her work from dawn to
dark
Was never a part of my plan.
l like to see the dimples
Flash out on the little face.
That was wan enough, and still enough
When first she came to the place.
l think she'll do. when she's older;
A kitten is not a cat;
And now that | look at the thing, my
dear,
l hope she'll never be that.
I'm thankful that life is peaceful;
/ should just be sick of strife,
If, for instance, | had to live along
Like poor Job Slocum's wife;
I'm thankful l didn't say yes" my
dear
What saved me do not see
When Job, with a sprig in his button
hole,
Once came accounting me.
I'm thankful I'm neither poor nor rich,
Glad that I'm not in debit
That owe no money cannot pay
And SO have no call to fret.
I'm thankful so many love me,
And that I've SO many to love,
Though my dearest and nearest are all
at home,
In the beautiful land above.
l shall always keep Thanksgiving
In the good-old fashioned way.
And think of the reasons fer gratitude
In December, and June. and May,
In August, November. and April
And the months that come between:
For God is good, and my heart is light,
And I'd not change place with a
queen.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
ObesItent Child,

wish you would be more explicit
IN you're moraliZing to the chill
b." said the good wife 10 her huS-
3D. You told Jimmie last night
1 he must never put things off till
Borrow"
fes"
We'll, the little imp went to bed
fh his shoes on"
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
Definite Information.

Michael, what kind of a tree is
f.
|rhe one beyant the binch, num-
Ees; that large tree"
Mid the little green wan TO the
Yes; what is it,"
|They do be calm that q shade
l, mum."-Brooklyn Life.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
Science Called UDon,

lin South America they have a kind
wood that won't burn"
That's no good; what the world
fds in this weather is ice that won't
Record.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

Some men make a bluff at hiding
their light under bushel, when pint
measure would answer the purpose just
as well
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

rs PermanentyCured. No fits or nervousness after
Gay use of DIR. khne's Great Nervo Restorer
Tor FREE $500 trial bottle and treatIso
d. KLINE. Ltd. 93l Arch ST.. Philadelphia Pa
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
Extenuating Circumstances.

[Dld the judge let that man go on
4 plea of ignorance of the law?'
NO; he let him go on the plea of his
Faorance of lawyers"
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

Ao-1o-Bac for Fifty Cents.
|saianteed tobacco habit cure. makes weak
strong blood pure. soc. 81 All druggists.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
s.ar Tobacco is the leading brand of
world, because it is the best.

e.ocks are apt to recover from n fall
-Aer than the operator does.
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25

TO CURE A COLD IN ONE DAY.
Esse Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
gglsts refund the money If IL fails to cure. 25c
The pioneer press. (Miller, Hand County, S.D.) 1893-190?, 1897-11-25
Financial.

I0D!'
,ertainly not; If you can ever run
'osS me when l have that much"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
Old Puts Duel.

SHOIllY UeIOIc Tue INeNOIuNIoHi "HSH
the air was heavily charged with fore
bodings of the approaching struggle,
old Major Putnam happened to be in
Boston. The major disliked the red
coats, and sometimes inveighed against
their arrogant superciliousness in no
gentle terms. One day an officer Of
his maiesty's regulars overheard Put
nam assert that the provincial army
untutored in arms as it was, would
fight with the courage Of trained sol
diers. The officer resented the asser'
ton, and after some hot words chal-
lenged the major to a duel, provided
he dared to fight
Dare !" shouted Putnam. "Why,
at any moment. But l choose the
weapons"
Name them, haughtily replied the
officer.
1.-TWO kegs of gunpowder the time,
tomorrow the distance, ten PAGES the
fight to be as follows You to sit on
one keg, l on the other, slow fuse to
be attached to each and lighted, and
the one who holds out the longest shall
be declared the winner.
There was nothing for the officer to
do but accept the unusual weapons,
and on the following day at the ap-
pointed time and place the combatants
took their seats upon the kegs OF gun
powder. The fuses were lighted and
began sputtering, rapidly approaching
the kegs. The officer was deathly pale
and watched the growing danger with
dilated eyes. At last he could stand
it no longer, and with a leap he left
his keg and raced like a madman out
of sight. When he bad gone, Old Put
laughingly kicked the burning fuse
away and disclosed to his friends keg
of onions. When the matter came to
light, the officer was subjected to the
laughs and gibes Of the entire COM
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
He Withdrew His Objection.

1t was evident that the gray-haired
old gentleman was put out about some
thing.
Yesterday" be Daid, II heard you
refer to me as the old man.
very likely" replied the young
man.
"Well, I don't like it" returned the
old gentleman. 81 suppose you meant
nothing wrong, but it is disrespectful.
l have always tried to be fair and con-
siderate with the boys in the Office,
and l don't like to be repaid in this
way"
"Did you ever know Of any one who
was unpopular being called the old
MANI asked the young man.
"Eh? What's that1' demanded the
old gentleman.
When a man Is known through an
Office as Mister, isn't it ten to one
bet that be is pretty generally dis
liked or feared ?"
The old gentleman thought it over
for a minute.
Perhaps" he said. at last, "in
view of my own recollection Of an old
man and how 1 regarded him, Id
better withdraw any objections to the
term"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26

"'Did you sing hymns and then tell
the men of your brigade to sleep and
rest, for the next day they would have
long, hard march and mayhap a
fght?'
~ sang that night sab, and made
the remark, but not 10 a brigade,
sab.
"a regiment ?
"'No, sab, to six men who Were
with me on a scout. We saw a force
of 25 or so horsemen nearing our posi-
ton, and not caring to leave just then
and knowing that we could not fight
so large party we resorted to that
harmless trick to halt the Yankees and
give us a chance for short rest, after
which we rode back TO camp faster
than we left it.
"'What is your name, please?'
Berry, Captain Berry of the -
Tennessee cavalry, sab.
"'Captain Berry, I'm glad to meet
you. l had command of the party
you mention. Your ruse worked. |
marched right back to camp, and We
got ready to fight a large body Of Ar
kansas troops. You were getting away
from me with as much zeal as | was
displaying in getting away from your
command. Guess you and l had not
better say much about our experiences
on that October scout. I've got some
thing as good as the commissary keeps
in this canteen. Try it.
THANK you, sab. Inever drink
"'A Tennessee soldier and don't
drink
81 am also a minister of the gospel,
sab.
The two captains became warm
friends" D."
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
OVER AND OVER AGAIN.

| Over and over again,
No matter which way turn,
l always find, in the Book of Life,
Some lessons have to learn;
| must take my turn at the mill,
must grind out the golden grain,
must work at my task with resolute
will,
Over and over again.
We cannot measure the need
OF even the tiniest flower,
Nor check the flow of the golden sands
That run through a single hour;
But the morning dew must fall,
And the sun and the summer rain
Must do their part, and perform it all
Over and over again.
Over and over again
The brook through the meadow flows,
And over and over again
The ponderous mill-wheel goes;
Once doing will not suffice,
Though doing be not in vain,
And blessing failing us once or twice
May come if we try again.
A path that has once been trod
Is never so rough to the feet,
And the lesson we once have learned
Is never so hard to repeat;
Though sorrowful tears may fall,
And the heart to Its depths be riyen
With storm and tempest, we need them
all
To render us meet for heaven.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
BYLAWS.
ARTICLE 1.
DUTY OF OFFICERS.

SECTION l. 1t shall be the duty Of
the President to preside at all meet
ings and to perform such other duties
as appertain to such Office. She shall
be Chairman of the Executive Com
mittee, and shall submit to the Chap
ter, at its annual meeting, a written re-
port of all matters of interest connect
ed with the Association that have
transpired during the year.
SEC. 2. In the absence of the Pres
ident, the duties of this Office shall be
performed by either of the vice-presi-
dents in their order.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
ARTICLE II.
COMMITTEES.

There shall be the following stand
ing committees
First, Executive Committee, COM
posed Of the President, who shall be
chairman of the committee, the other
officers Of the Chapter and the Chair
man of the Credential Committee.
This committee shall be vested with
power to conduct the general affairs of
the Association, and shall meet when
ever business demands the same at the
call of the President.
Second, The Financial Committee,
appointed by the President at the fist
meeting in January, shall be consti-
tuted of three members, whose duty it
shall be to audit the books of the Treas
urer before the annual meeting on Jan
uary 10Th.
Third, The Credential Committee
shall be appointed by the President at
the annual meeting and shall consist
of three members, including the chair
man. Said committee shall serve for
term of one year. The duty Of said
committee shall be to pass upon all ap-
plications for membership, to report
its action to the next meeting of said
Association, when such candidate or
candidates as are presented by the
committee shall be voted for by the
Association, and to dispose properly Of
the applications which are accepted.
Fourth, From six to ten gentlemen
shall be invited by the Executive Com
mittee to form an Advisory Board,
with which the Chapter may confer on
all needful occasions. This board shall
serve so long as circumstances render
it desirable.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26

tors and took various blood remedies,
but they did me no good. I then took
S. S. S. and was cured completely and
permanently, for have never been
troubled with the disease since. 1 have
recommended S. S. S. to others simi-
larly afflicted, and have never known it
to fail"
S. S. S. Is the right remedy for Conta-
gious Blood Poison, because it goes d.
rect to the seat of the disease and forces
it from the system. 1t will cure any
case of Cancer, Scrofula, Rheumatism,
Eczema, Catarrh or other blood disease
of the most obstinate nature. Remem-
her II is Guaranteed
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26

~ Staunton, Va, tired
various other treatments, but found no
relief until he took S.S.S. He writes:
~ was afflicted with blood poison
and the best doctors did me no
good, though 1 took their treatment
faithfully. In fact I seemed to get
worse ali the while. Itook almost every
so-called blood remedy, but they did
not seem to reach the disease and had
no effect whatever. was disheartened
for it seemed that would never be
cured. At the advice of friend I then
took S.S.S. and began to improve. I
continued the medicine and it cured me
completely, building up my health and
increasing my appetite. Although this
was ten years ago, have never yet had
a sign Of the disease to return"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
DUES.

The annual dues of the Association
shall be twenty cents per year, to be
paid at the annual meeting, January
10Th. Of this amount five cents is for
the purposes Of the local chapter, five
cents for State Division and ten cents
for United Daughters of Confederacy.
ARTICLE Y.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26

"Seems like you came back from
Washington without any pie p said
the sarcastic friend.
at is no use to mince matters, said
the returned office-seeker, "my dough
gave out. :"
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26

The following women are said to be
the wealthiest six in the world Seno-
ra Isidora COusinO. $500, 900, 900; Het-
ty Green. s5O,OOO,OOo Baroness Bur-
dett Coutts, $50, 100000; Nine. Bar
RIOS, sl5,OoO.OO0; Mis- Mary Garrett,
$4,000, 900; Mrs. WOleska, SIC. .0O0.-
600.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26

Mr.. E. L. Hite,
also of Staunton, had
the same disease, and
his experience was
similar to the above,
He says:
rs. S. S. Is Ger.
tainly far ahead Of
all other blood rem.
edies, for II cures
cases they cannot
touch. Twas treated
by several good doc
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
ARTICLE ".

ARTICLE ~.
The order of business of this Asso-
citation shall be as follows:
First, Prayer.
Second, Roll call.
Third, Reading of the minutes Of
the previous meeting and their ap-
proval.
Fourth, Report of officers and stand,
ing committees.
Fifth, Report of special committees
Sixth, Unfinished business,
Seventh, New business.
Eighth, Election of members.
Ninth, Miscellaneous business.
ARTICLE V.
These bylaws may be altered Oh
amended by a two-third vote OF the
members present at any meeting of the
Chapter. Written notices of the in
tention of alteration or amendment
shall be furnished to the Recording
Secretary at previous meeting.
ARTICLE VI.
This Association shall have no rule!
or bylaws which shall be in confict
with the United Association, or re
pugnant to the laws of the State o
West Virginia or Of the United States
ARTICLE VII.
THE Woman's Manual of Parlia
mentary Law" by Harriet B. Shat
tuch, shall be our authority on parlia
mentary questions.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
SHEPHERDSTOWN W. VA, THURSDAY, AUGUST 26, 1897.

SEC. 8. The Treasurer shall receive
and receipt for all moneys collected,
and shall disburse the same by order
signed by the President, or either of
the vice-presidents in the absence of
the President, and countersigned by
the Recording Secretary. She shall
make report to the Chapter at each
annual meeting, showing the receipts,
disbursements and amounts due by
members, and shall furnish at said
meeting all vouchers and papers re-
lating thereto.
SEC. 4. The Recording Secretary
shall keep book Of minutes in which
shall be kept an accurate report of the
proceedings of all meetings of the As
sociation, regular, special or called.
She shall notify the members Of the
time and place of meeting and perform
such other duties as appertain to the
office of Recording Secretary.
SEC. 5. The duties Of the Corre-
spending Secretary shall be to carry
on all correspondence pertaining to
this Association.
SEC. 6. 1t shall be the duty of the
Chairman of the Credential Committee
to preside over the meetings of said
committee, and make report upon
applications filed for membership to
the next regular meeting of the Asso-
citation after said application has been
received. She shall forward to the
State Registrar one copy of accepted
application for membership and retain
the duplicate.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
ELECTION OF OFFICERS.

The officers of this Association shall
be elected annually on the first Thurs
day of January, at such place as may
be selected by this Association for its
place of meeting. The nominations Of
officers shall be made from the floor,
and all elections shall be by ballot. A
majority of those present shall be nee
essary to elect.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
Purely Vegetable

and is the only blood remedy containing
no mercury, potash or other mineral.
Valuable books on the disease and is
treatment will be mailed free to all who
address the Swift Specific Company,
Atlanta, Georgia.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-08-26
The
Ri8htReI0edy

The disastrous effects of potash and
mercury, which the doctors always pre-
scribe for Contagious Blood Poison,
should convince anyone that these are
not the proper remedies for this horrible
disease. Instead of forcing the poison
from the system, and getting rid of it
forever, potash and mercury only bottle
it up, and by driving in the outward
appearance of the disease, induce the
patient to think he is being cured. But
he sees his mistake before long, when
his joints become stiff aid his bones
ache-often his hair will fall out by the
handful and if he follows the doctors
advice and continues to take his medi-
cine, his finger nails will drop off.
There is a cure for this destructive
disease, though no doctor has ever yet
cured it. Ofcourse they may pronounce
a patient cured, but the disease has
never failed to return, with increased
severity. S.S.S. (Swift's Specifc) is
permanent cure, and is the only remedy
free from harmful ingredients. 1t is
the only blood remedy which is guaran-