Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-10-18
HuMoR OF THE DAY.

ways. 1t is now possible to make a
century run. indianapolis Journal.
He-"Do you believe in woman
taking mans place." She-"Yes; in
a crowded street car. Philadelphia
Record.
Miss Highsee isa beautiful singer,
isn't she?" Very. That was what
made her singing endurable. Wash
ington Times.
He-"I love you better than my
life" She--"Considering the life you
lead, cannot say that L am sur.
prised. standard.
Mrs. Howso-'Did the butcher
send the lobsters?" Bridget
did, mum, but 1 sent them back. They
wuzn't ripe. Brooklyn Life.
81 never did have any head for
mathematics. - 'Um! L have always
understood that at home you did not
even count. Cincinnati Enquirer.
Hope is whispering ''All is we'll"
Busy men do not deny it;
Some are bringing wheat to sell,
Others are digging gold to buy it.
washington star.
Friend-"Does your town boast of
baseball team?" Suburbanite-
"No. We used to boast of one, but
we have to apologize for it now. =
Puck.
"Say, old man, you are so absent
minded, L believe you are in Lowell"
Hobson-'Me? Obi ho! no! hol
Why, don't you know I'm married?"-
Puck.
81 hope, Ophelia, that you are not
80 foolish as to call yourself wash
lady," "'Deed 1 don't, Miss May. l
'alls myself laundry. lady. Indian
apolis Journal.
Jack-"How is your sister getting
On with her singing lessons?" Cissie
-"Well, papa has taken the wadding
out of his ears for the first time to.
day. ."-Fliegende Bletter.
"There is one queer thing noticea-
BILE at all picnics." "What is that?"
''The man who makes the most fuss
about carrying the basket always eats
more than anybody else. Chicago
Record.
SIT looks like rain," said the milk.
man to the lady of the house, After
examining the milk, she came to the
conclusion that it must be either rain
or water from the pump. -Norristown
Herald.
He-"For my part 1 can't see why
mo- oil tI
anyhow" She-"Oh. anything for
little change. We've been making a
monkey of him long enough. ."-Cleve,
land Leader.
He-''There is one thing to be said
about the Scotch dialect stories now
floating about" She--''And what is
that?" He-''They may be the same
old stories, but no one will recognize
them. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Landlord--"Did they discover the
identity of that petrified body which
was found in the valley yesterday"
New Yorker-"I don't know; but |
think it was man from whom one OF
your walters refused to- take tip
Judge.
"Say, paw! is it anything to brag
about when you don't do something
you can't do?" "I'm inclined to think
not Why do you ask?' "'Cause I've
just been readin' that cherry-tree
story bout Washin ton. - Detroit
Free Press.
Surgeon-"Hurry up. Get the in.
struments in readiness. Well ampu-
tate his leg" Student" "But it seems
to be nothing more than simple frac-
ture. L should think the leg might
be saved" Surgeon--"Ce it
might; but don't you see that he's un.
conscious? ?"-Cleveland Leader.
Old Mrs. Kelley entered the parlor
Unexpectedly, and spoiled very nice
tableau. 81 was just whispering a Sc
cret in Cousin Jennie's ear" explained
Jimmie. II am sorry, James, said
the old lady gravely, ''that your eye
sight has become so bad that you
mistake Jennie's mouth for her ear"
Boston Traveller.