New-York tribune., 1897-07-22
THE TALK or THE DAY.

"Iaw Notes. tells a story OF young lawyer
who asked IA country Justice for capias Ine
Ius,ice did not know a capas from police CELL
hut he disked to admit his ignorance. SO ne sald'
Now see here, my friend, yor are you"5 Id"
YER and I fear lack experience. | would advise you
not to be too hasty. Don't be In hurry "ai'
twenty-four hours and then. II you think best
come to me and / will give you caprts' Inc
Young lawyer agreed and went away. TIE Justice
spent the remainder of the day getting acquainted
with the writ called capias. when the iiino vi the
law appeared the next morning the court 1eit MINI
self qualified to issue capiases by the bushel BE-
fore he could speak the young lawyer said: Mr.
Justice. you were right was too hasty nave 10
thank YOU for the good advice, and also have
brought YOU the 81 fee you would have received Tor
the capias as don't want you to lose anything by
vour good deed" He went away believing the JUS
tice TO be a paragon Of good sense and legal lore
Strategic Movements.-Frst Boy-See here!
didn't see you running down street rec yes.er9ay Nor
'What did YOU run for?"
II was only running so as TO get MIN away
from home so his mother couldn't see him night
hoso ouv we p got in sight Of our house and them
my mother would see me If stopped to hit Nm nm
went in so as to be out o temptauon!-tNew-
York Weekly.
in San Francisco who advertised tooth drawing
without pain. The patient was placed In chair
and a wrench given when he roared violently. 1
thought you said there was no pain" 80 there is
not by my process. That Is Cartwrights way
That's the way he does 1t. It's very different from
mine" Another tug and still more violent howl
"That's the way Dumerge pulls teeth" said the
una Dashed practitioner. You don't ike IT, no
doubt Who woud?' Another twist was given, and
the patient a rule howcd worse than ever
That" the dentist says. us Parkinson's mode"
BY this time the tooth was nearly out. Il Will
MIA nvyn
upon he triumphantly withdrew the tooth and held
II ND for inspection. You observe that by my
truly scientific process there is really pain what
ever
Young Father-Is It a boy or girl?
| Doctor (cyclisD-No It's tandem.-CChicago
Times Herald.
Some years ago congress of chimney sweeEe
was held in Orebro. Sweden. the sessions being
| opened with psam-singng and prayer and DEBATES
| were held concerning the moral and social I'M
| provements which it was desirable to introduce
| among the sweeps. Now another meeting Is to be
| held this time at Stockholm.
And your wife aimed at and struck your head
| with cup?
We'll then al have T, to say Az. is that you should
"The Kennebec Journal tells OF a Bangor
drummer who tried to save lady from leaping
from a rapidly moving train. After he had thrown
| the car she recovered from her surprise enough to
| call him all the names in the feminine vocabulary
| and explain that she went out on the platform to
wave her handkerchief at some friends. The pas
| sengers appreciated 1T all, but the drummer
| didn't seem to enjoy the situation.
Well Begun. Half Done-First Reformer-rm try
| Ing to write an essay on the emancipation OF my
sex and / find IT very hard to begin.
Second Reformer-oh, ! think that would be so
easy Why. you might begin by sharpening your PEN
| ell with your husbands razor you know.-(Detroit
Tribune.
A funny episode of the Christian Endeavor con-
| yention in San Francisco was the drapng OF many
| saloons in honor OF the event. and the display Of
| the motto welcome c. f."
"Dldnt tell you that II you went swimming
Fl didn't forget" replied Johnnie. whose hair
was dripping, "but can't swim stroke. "-(De-
| trot Free Press
| ."rhe London Saturday Review" refers to some
absurdtes In serious poetry. heading the list with
| Wordsworths lines on the chamois hunters fate.
| which he afterward suppressed:
| Hapy his child In fearful doubt may gaze
Passing his fathers bones In future days
Start at the reIques OF that very thigh
on which oft he pratted when boy.
A not unknown living poet when he competed for
the Newdigate prize on the subject OF the Siege OF
| Paris came very near this. Describing the desc
laton wrought by war he arrived at his pathetic
climax with the couplet:
Stark on its threshold many a corpse was laid
Which yesterday with happy children played
Yet It may be questioned whether any OF these
things we're equal to n stanza which not long ago
headed In all seriousness appeal for the restora-
ton OF the church attached to the rectory where
Nelson was born
The man who first taught Englishmen their duty
And fenced with wooden walls his native isle,
Now asks one shilling. to restore to beauty
The church that brooded Ger hS infant smile