The Winslow mail., 1897-03-20
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during speeches with gin and water.
Gin, of course. has the advantage of
looking exactly like water to the naked
eye and the great Daniel kept it bv
him in pitcher, with a tumbler. for
periodical doses. 1t is related that one
day fellow Senator took big swallow
from the glass. quite unsuSpectingIy.
just as he arose to make some remarks.
and the consequence was a choking fit,
which threw the whole chamber. and
particularly Mr.. Webster, into convul-
sions of laughter.
/ NJ. Theirs. the president of the French
Republic, once fought a duel over a girl
of AK, whose father had come to the
conclusion that young Theirs, then
student, ought to marry her. Il deem
ed it WISER" Theirs says, ''to spend
few minutes with a weapon about
which l knew nothing than to spend a
lifetime with 4 woman about whom |
knew a great deal too much" And so
the meeting came off, the opponents
standing at twenty PAGES. Theirs bull
let went nobody knew where; that of
the irate parent passed through MS hat,
an inch above his head Referring to
the circumstance, Cham" in the Pc
tite Presse, afterward remarked: IF
Theirs had not been so little he would
never have become so great"
"Black Jack" Percival, who was a
naval captain before the war. once
brought cargo of Spanish jacks home
in man-of-war. He was in Spanish
waters when the jacks were given to
| the United States by Spain (says the
| New York Sum, and was ordered to
bring them out in his ship. 1t made
him very angry, but he got the beasts
aboard and sailed for New York. When
he came through the Narrows, the guns
had been rolled back, and out of every
port there stuck a jacks head Thus
decked out and without a salute he
came to his anchorage. The admiral
commanding sent post haste to demand
why Captain Percival had not sllnted.
81 didn't salute" was the doughty cap
tain's answer, because l couldn't. l
had two men twisting every jacks tail,
but not one of them would bray"
Some hundred and fifty years ago, the
natives of one of the Scilly Islands
boasted library which consisted Of
but one book. 1t went from hand to
hand until it's pages grew utterly worth
less. A meeting of the digntaries was
held to decide upon the purchase of
new library, this time of more than one
book. Long and loud they argued, and
the matter was nearly approaching a
disastrous crisis, when a deputation of
townspeople, desiring to have voice
in the matter, waited upon the digni
taries Again the discussion waXed
furious, and the ultimate result was
the following resolution: Resolved, On
the next fine day, weather permitting
communication with the mainland, an
order be transmitted to Penzance for
another copy Of History of Doctor
Faustus.'" Then the meeting joyous
ly broke up.
/ Nobody does anything well for moth
! ing and certainly not lawyer Lord
T MANSFIELD was so sensible OF this that
when, on one occasion, he had to attend
! to some professional business of his
own, he took some guineas out of his
purse and put them into his waistcoat
pocket to give him the requisite Stimu-
lus. Sir Anthony Malone, an Irish at
torney general was so imprudent as to
omit this precautiOn, and was grievous-
ly punished for it, for he was so mat
attentive regarding some property he
bought for himself that he lost three
thousand pounds a year by it. In fu-
ture he caused his clerk to make an alb
stract of the title deeds of any property
he bought, and lay it before him with
a fee of five guineas, properly indors-
ed, which the clerk was Scrupulously to
account for; after which Sir Anthony
made no more mistakes, as regarded,
at least his own affairs.
Once when the Pensacola was coming
up to San Francisco from the South
seas, somewhere off Honolulu, she met
a gale that almost laid her down. Car
penter McGloin, a privileged character
who invariably became seaSick in heavy
weather, promptly went to bed. Final
ly it was reported to the captain that
something was wrong with the foretop-
mast The captain sent for McGloin,
and the carpenter staggered on deck.
"Get up there" commanded the cap
tain, ''and see what's the matter at the
foretop." up that mast?" gasped Nc
Gloin. The proposition so dazed him
that he lost his breath. up that mast"
reiterated the captain, "and find out
what's the matter at the foretop."
Captain" said McGloin, in a last de-
spairing protest, ''do you really mean
that you want me to go up that mast in
this storm, with this ship going this |
way, and see what's wrong with that
foretop?" You heard what said" ex-
claimed the captain, losing patience at
last; "now get up that mast, and be |
quick about it, too" Captain" said |
McGloin, solemnly, "if there was four
inch plank from here to Brooklyn, I'd |
walk home"
A lady had issued invitations for a
party of twelve, and on the morning Of
the appointed day, when comforting
with the footman, she discovered that
one of the twelve silver shells in which
scalloped oysters were to be served had
been misplaced Rigid search for the
missing article having proved unavail.
ipo tho Iadv decided that SOOneP tl,an