Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-09-10
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"A witness who was very prolix, and
tested the patience Of the bench, jury,
and even the counsel who had called
him, was suddenly asked by Judge Jo-'
seph F. DAILY, "What is your business?"'
He answered, II lead the orchestra at
n music-hall." 81 thought" responded,
the judge, with a weary look at the
courtroom clock, "that you must be an
expert at beating Tine"
When Wherefore became. rector OF
Brightstone, in the Isle OF Wight, he
was waited on by an old farmer, whose
n desire in life was to rent the glebe
land. 'Why?" asked Wilberforce.
"Well," said the old fellow, with a look
of business s~hrewdness, "when t'other
parson was here, he used to farm it his
self, and, there being so little of it, he
always got in his hay before anybody
else. Then he clapped on the prayer
for rain"
In some of the London tenements gas
is sold by a penny-in-the-slot machine
attached to the meter. Soon after the
doors of a London tleater opened one
evening, a little girl of about 6 years OF
age and her elder sister took their seats
III the pit. The little one had been
prattling away for some time, when
the footlights were turned up. Upon
seeing the sudden increase of light. she
remarked loudly to her sister: Look,
Nellie; they've put another penny In
the slot"
At a dinner one day the Duke Of We'll
Nngton was taking with the dogmaue
John Wilson Croker, who contradictedj
him fatty about something which had
occurred at Waterloo. The duke, know
ing his man, submitted quietly; but not
long afterward Croker again became
offensively assertive in regard to per-
cussion caps. my dear Croker" said
the duke, with unluffied good humor.i
Il can yield to your superior informa-
ton on most points, and you may per.
haps know a great deal more of what
passed at Waterloo than myself; but
as a sportsman, 1 will maintain my
point about the percussion capsv"
One Of the numerous Dundases one
year exhibited a collection of pictures
which he had lately purchased in Ger
many, previous to their being transfer
red to his private residence. 1t happen
ed, a year later, that one of the guests
at Lord Rosebery's table mentioned his,
Intention of visiting the Continent for.
the purpose of making some addition to-
his own collection of paintings, and he.
asked Lord Eldon if he could give him
any suggestions as to where he had
better begin his search. 81 think he
had better go to Dusseldorf" Lord Ell
don replied. and why to Dusseldorf
said the inquirer. II think you might
find something good there, as our friend.
Dundas went there last year and
bought all the id trash in the
place."
DIR. Lasker, the great chess player.
when in London, is in the habit of Wis
iting Il certain restaurant known to
many chess devotees. On one of these
occasions, just prior to his departure
for st. Petersburg to play DR.. Steinitz
for the championship, a fussy old gen
tleman offered to play him for a box OF
cigars If he would concede him the odds
of a queen. The offer was good-natur.
edly accepted; and on Lasker's win
ming, he became the recipient of a box
of doubtful-looking cigars. On visiting
the same restaurant, after easily de-
feating Steinitz, Lasker happened to
meet his late opponent, who asked him
what he thought Of the cigars. First
rate!' replied the champion; Sin fact.
might almost say they won me the
match" Indeed! l am delighted to
hear it" returned the old gentleman.
much pleased. "Yes," continued Las.
ker, Il gave them all to Steinitz!"