The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-08-12
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
~ ABEL, ~
Hubby AND THE RAM.
The Story Backwoods Landlord
Can't Help Telling.

once I was passing through the
little town of Greenville, in the
Pennsylvania hemlock belt" said John
Gilbert, the travelling groceryman, "and
stopped at the tavern there. The only
man l saw t first was a jolly-looking,
red-faced little old man, on whom care
or sorrow seemed to have never laid a
finger.
Fine day. 1 said, getting off my
blackboard.
P'ic'lar fine an cheerful the little
old man said. L hain't see cheerfuller
day in 40 year an better
Then he went down the road whist
ling. was gazing after him yet when
some one said:
Its leetle queer that Uncle Abel
went away without waitin' to see
whether you want goin' to buy sumpin'
an asst him in; but he's feelin' over
powerin' glib to-day, an mebbe thought
nothin' could make him feel any bet
ter
This speaker, as I saw when turned
to look, was tall and slim and lanky:
and was whiting stick. He had come
landlord. I walked in.
Eyes, said the lanky man, Uncle
Abel is feelin' overpowerin' glib to-day.
You wouldn't take him to be a lone an
loru widderer, which the pardner of his
bosom was only laid away yiste'day,
now, would your
Il had to admit that the old gentle
man was trife clipper and cheerful
for one SO recently bereaved.
YES the landlord went en-, Aunt
Huldy's left Uncle Abel at last. It was
sort of an accident like, though. l
don't think she ever would a-thought O.
doin' of it, cause Uncle Abel was four
thatAunt Hubby had handled, an she
had wore black bombazine fer three on
'em, an it was jest as good as ever, that
black bombazine was, an there amt nc
hind O. doubt that she had stiff idee
o wearin' it fer Uncle Abel, an meb.
be fer somebody that had the courage tc
be No. 5. You see, Uncle Abel is the
harmlessest man that ever sot round
an Aunt Huldy's disposition was sol
sunpin' like a cross-cut saw, an wher
she got to movin' she was ripper. How
would some fresh tansy scrunched in {
glass and moistened with about three
fingers O J'maky rum strike you?'
Il was willing to risk it, and the lanky
but garrulous landlord scrunched the
tansy and moistened it per recipe.
"'Yes, SIR he went on, having
scrunched and moistened for himself
also, and taken pay for both. 'Aun1
Hubby was ripper when she got t.
movin', and the trouble was she was
movin' most O. the time. I've knoweC
Uncle Abel to roost in an apple tree OF
his clearin' all night, waitin' for Aun1
Hubby to quiet down, an I've heerd hin
say, more'n wunst, that it was a gooi
thing he'd been kicked in the head by Z
mule wunst and got over it, or he'd be
afeared o. the consekences ii Aunt 81 ul
Gy got to movin'.
Aunt Hubby she was tremendous
sot ag'in Uncle Abel goin' fshin', an
Uncle Abel he'd ruther go fshin' thar
to the circus. Last week he couldn'
hold. out no longer, and he went ove1
to Ben Runnels' pond to troll for pick
er'l. The fact is, though, that the ponc
amt Ben Runnels, cause there aim
ne setch person as Ben Runnels, mol
hain't ben this 20 year an better, an
own the pond. The last day there evel
was Ben Runnels he went fshin' OF
that pond. IF the fishin' hadn't ben 81
uncommon good that day Ben mowt b,
with us yit. Ben had half a pint O. fist
worms with him in an old tomattu;
can, am half gallon O. worm O. The
still in a jug. This was for: exhilaratin
purposes. Ben a1luz exhilarated arte1
ketchin' fish, but the fish bit so fas
that day that they KEEP Ben buster thar
usual exhilaratin'; so that when folk:
went to see what was the reason Be1
didn't git home that day, an found thu
boat upset an Ben an the jug f1oatin
in the pond, there was less than two
little jiggers of exhilaration left in tn,
Jug, but there was more than five gal
len o. water in Ben. It wasn't drown
din that killed Ben, some folks thought
They said it was the sudden washin' O
ell the exhilaration outen him by 81
much water gittin' inter him that don,
it, Ben not bein' used to setch over
powerin' Disappointment. An that:
the way Ben got the title to that pond
an it's ben called Ben Runnels' pom
ever sence.
well, there's where Uncle Abel wen
fshin', spite O. Aunt Huldy's warnin's
an when he got back don't s.pose tina
Aunt Hubby ever moved so rippin' in he
life. ALI that Uncle Abel has ever sale
about it is that she jest swatted hin
over, an then sot on him till she peeled
whats Uncle, Abel says must a. be1
more'n a bushel o. taters. Aunt Hubby
weighed in the vicinity o 200 pound
an every time Uncle Abel wiggled she'e
scrunch down on him. An speakin' O
scrunchin', there's lot more tanzy;
she'll = .
Il interrupted the landlord to sa1
that I didn't care for any more, and b.
seemed % much disappointed and -