The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1897-08-24
B0WSER AND HIS BAR
AMATEUR GYMNASTICS PROVE tx.
CITING " NOT BENEFICIAL

o0f0 IDLE 6It6ruUOuf obkUu MEb. DOWbot
% her better half came home to dinner the
other evening.
he replied that he would explain after
DO had satisfied bis appetite, and when
they arose from the table he removed his
coat, barred his right arm and said:
"Mrs. Bowser, feel this arm, will your"
"Have you got rheumatismp" she asked
a. she ran her hand over 1t.
"You have heard Of withered limbs,
haven't your Well, my arms and legs are
going to wither and become Of no earthly
use to me unloss something is done right
away. I've suspected 1t for a long time,
but was not sure until had talk with q
Doctor today"
care you going to take a course Of
treatment9' she asked.
"That's 1t exactly, and hope to check
the whitening business in the bud. Yes,
am going right at 1t this evening. Think
what would happen, Mrs. Bowser, II my
legs refused to hold me up-if my arms
lost their strength until could no longer
feed myself"
"Where's your medioinef"
II shall take no medicine. What is
wanted In this case is exeroise-plenty Of
exercise ! am now going to put up per-
forming bar the garrett and do some per-
forming, according to the DOCTORS orders.
"Oh, that's it! I thought itabout time
for you to get another foolish notion into
your head. II you need exercise. why
don't you do some walking-get half a
cord of wood and a bucksaw, buy spade
and turn up some earth in the back yardP
II some man would come along and tell
you your toes were falling of, you'd be-
heve himP'
"Mrs. Bowser, what do you know Of
anatomy" he demanded, with great dig
nifty.
"And what do you" she retorted.
Enough to believe a doctor when he
says my arms are gradually shrinking
away until they will soon be pipestems,
and all for the want Of exercise. He has
told me what to do, and I'm going to do
1t. II you want to sbriyel and shrink, go
ahead, but don't propose to die that way.
shall put up my performing bar and per-
FORM"
She made no further protest, knowing
that words would be useless and Mr..
Bowser carried the bundle Of stuff to the
garrett and began work. In the course Of
half an hour he had his bar up, and, hay
ing removed all unnecessary clothing, was
ready to begin. Mrs. Rowser came up
just then and inquired what he was going
to do He ,leaped up, caught the bar with
both hands and swung back and forth and
replied:
"You see the object, Mrs Bowser. The
first idea Is to strengthen the muscles of
the arm, and that is done by sustaining
the weight of the body. I find that oan
sustain myself, but week later I might
not have been able to. You have heard of
Samson, of coursep He began on per-
forming bar like this
"You'd get more exercise by carrying
the ashes out of the cellar" she said as
she turned away.
"That's you, of coursel' he exclaimed
as he dropped from the bar. "It's enough
that want to do anything that you should
oppose 1t. If you'd wake up some morn
ing and find me withered up like an old
bean pod, you'd rejoice in your heart.
You won't have that satisfaction, how
ever. already feel better than have in
three months. 4"
"I'll get the camphor and other things
ready" she called from the head of the
stairs.
He waited until she had disappeared
and then resumed his swinging. There
wasn't much fun In this, as 1t made his
arm ache, and he PRESENTLY decided that
his legs ought to have show. He had
seen leg thrown over the bar In gym
nasium, and he SGT out to do It, He got
the swing all right, and he lifted bis leg
Just at tho right instant, but just as he
thought he had made success Of 1t some
thing fell on the floor with a jar that
shook the house. 1t was Mr.. Bowser. He
had missed tho chang Of 1t. For long
minute he lay there looking up at the
ceiling and trying to make out what had
happened. Thon, as things began to clear
up, Mrs, Bowsor appeared and asked:
"Are you trying to break your back to
keep your arms from withering9 ! thought
the whole house was coming down."
"Woman," gasped Mr.. Bowser as he
slowly sat up, "you hoped I had killed
myself, but only sat down to rest. You
can riot right down stairs again and at
tend to your household affairs"
Sho disappeared, and he took three or
four minutes to study 1t out. He had not
swung bis body hard enough, and he tried
to throw his right leg over the bar instead
of the loft. His back and shoulders ached,
but he rose up with grim determination
to succeed or die, He was in no hurry,
however. Ho went at 1t cautiously, and
aftor three or four efforts he suddenly
lifted himself, and his leg went over the
bar. For ten seconds he was tickled half
to death as he hung there. Then 1t occur
rcd to him that he had got to get his leg
down again or remain on the perch all
night He tried again and again, burt he
couldn't do 1t, and, losing his nerve, he
called for Mrs Bowser.
"What hro you trying to dor" she asked
as she came running up stairs.
ITO got that leg off the bari" he
shouted.
"But don't you sos that you can't do 1t
unless you ra!so your whole bodyp You
are sagging down like a bag of sand.
What did you want to get your leg over
forf"
II dunno, but something will have to
be done"
"Better leave IL up there all night.
There are signs that your spinal column
Is whitening away, and the position may
do 1t good"
Cant you help lift me upS' he plead
ed. II don't believe can hold on here
another minute"
"You'll have to. I'll get the cook, and
maybe both Of us can boost you up.
Didn't tell You just how 1t would come
out9 If somebody should tell you to hang
yourself up by the hair Of tho head to turn
your toes out, you'd do it,
She went down stairs and left him hang
ing on like grim death, his face as red as
beet and the perspiration trickllng down
bis neck. She didn't call the cook. She
simply sat down. to wait for results. In
about three minutes they came Mr..
Bowser maintained his grip until his fin
gers were numb, and all Of sudden he
uttered yell and let 60. His leg hold
sustained him for few seconds, and then