Omaha daily bee., 1897-01-24
IMPIETIES.

London paper says that In the Exeter
days Of Archbishop Temple, when he was
suspected Ct heterodoXy, young cura'e came
to him one day and said "My lord, it is
rumored that you are not able TO believe in
special interpretations of Providence on be-
half of certain persons" 'Well?' grunted
the bishop. well, my lord, here Is the
case of my aunt My aunt journeys TO Exc
ter every Wednesday by the same train
and in the same compartment Of the same
carriage invariably. Last Wednesday she
felt a disncination to go, and that very
day an accident occurred by which the car
riage of the train was smashed to pieces.
Now was not that direct interpostion OF
Providence on behalf of my aunt?" Cant
say" growled the bishop; don't know your
aunt"
The Baltimore Herald tells n good story Of
Bishop Paret EpiscopaD Of that city Some
time ago he was the guest OF an Episcopal
family in West Virginia Learning from
the bishop that he liked hard boiled eggs
for breakfast his hostess went to the kitchen
to boil them herself. While so engaged she
began to sing the first stanza of the hymn
Rock OF Ages" Then she sang the second
etanza, the bishop, who was in the dining
room, joining in. When It wac finished there
was silence, and the bishop remarked
why not sing the third verse;
"The third verse;" replied the lady, as
she came into the dining room carrying tho
steaming eggs; "Oh! that's not necessary"
81 don't understand" replied bishop Paret.
"Oh! you see" she said. when | am
cooking eggs | always cling one verse for
soft-boiled and two for hard-boiled."
Speed was once demonstrated on a west
ern road In a fashion to curl the hair of
at least one old Mormon bishop. The
churchman considered 1t phenomenon, and
got off the train as quickly az he could.
He had bullwhacked across the plains In
the early days, and, strange to say, had
never ridden on a railroad trsin until the
time when he entered upon his trip from
Green River to San Francisco. The speed
was. therefore, a revelation to him. Ie
had never before seen anything so swift,
and he was scared. About twelve miles
from Ogden he asked the conductor for the
time of day, and was told that 1t was 1886.
He Impressed this time foroibly ON his
mind.
Now, for a wonder, the western connec-
tion at Ogden was quickly made and after
the lapse of but a few minutes The San
Francisco bound travellers were on their way
Californl8ward. Ogden had been left be-
hind only few miles, and the train was
whOoping along at a behind-time rate OF
speed, when the old bishop. frightened and
trembling dared to ask the conductor what
was the time OF day.
If you have Travelled westward you know
that at Ogden the time changes, and San
san Francisco time, one hour earlier, is
adopted. The conductor had San FranclHeo
time and he said:
ut Is 7:l0-ten minutes after seven"
The old bishop. previously haunted by a
dread of impending destrut ion because OF
the horrible rate of speed at which he was
being whrled through space, rose with
Wild cry and made for the door.
'Lemme Off" he cried. at was thirty
five minutes after an hour ago, an we're
goln' so fast we are goin' faster than time
can count itself Lemme oitn'
Had hc really been going as fast as the
old ma ba ba ba
been beaten TO bits as he Jumped from tho
train. As II was he was only rolled some-
thing like half-mile, aid Was carried
back TO ogden on a handcai.