davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
Banner Showed Up.
Copyright, 1917

KNEW that there was local cleo
ton being held at Tiptonville, and
when within two or three miles of the
town came upon an oldish man seat
ed on log by the roadside. natu.
rally asked if his party was doing all
that could be hoped for.
Fur shore, stranger" he replied. II
was all ready to vote that way when
skedaddled."
Were you obliged to leave town be.
fore casting your ballot?" continued,
noticing look of disappointment on
his face.
Rather that way, sab" he answered,
uttering dry chuckle. II had my bal
lot all made out when sudden call cum
for me to hold on"
"Called away by sickness, eh?"
40, sickness didn't call me away;
my vote was sorter challenged by the
ole woman, reckon"
"You don't mean your wife chal-
lenged your vote?" asked in astonish-
ment.
That's about it, stranger. 1 was
jest on the pint of handin' it in when
she showed up and called time. I hol-
Tered to sum of the boys to hold her a
mint and gin me chance to fling in
my ballot, but they was too late"
But why did she challenge your
vote?" I persisted, as he sprang up in
alarm at sound in the underbrush.
''Wall," he replied, looking furtively
about, I'm not much up on law, so I
didn't hold out fur what might hev
bin my rights. When I left Injiana
two vars ago, also left the ole wom-
an thar, and l sorter fggered when
she turned up at the polls that it was
p'raps jist as well not to quote law
or git into any dispute If I could help
it. Yes, I lost my vote, but 1 hain't
feelin' bad about it. Fact is, stranger.
when think how outrun Hammer in
that two-mile race through the bresh,
1 feel powerful thankful that only nv
vote was lost-powerful thankful! Kin
yo' spar me another pinch O that ter
hacker? Seems like it had soothin'
effect on my narves, and can't say
when Hammer may bob up agin and
gin me another run fur life!"
NJ. QUAD.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
A FAITHFUL DOG.
Wanted to BE Locked Up with His
Drunken Master.

Wanted to BE Locked Up with His
Drunken Master.
King II. is a dog. He wears collar
which bears the inscriptions: king II.
TO G. M. Shilling with the compliments
of Steve Brodie." Shilling, his master,
is long-distance walker and now says
that he is on tramp around the world
on d wager. He left New York last
August, and is to reach New York again
in August, 1899, with $4,000 in his
pocket, which he has earned on his
tramp. King II. is making this tramp
with him.
The man and the dog did not proceed
at all on their long journey the other
day because Mr.. Shilling was in the
Gala boose. He was arrested for being
drunk. The dog was not drunk, and so,
although he wanted to be locked up
with his drunken master, the police
wouldn't let him go in:
1t wasn't long before they wished he
was in the calaboose or somewhere else
than about the corridors; bowling and
crying. The police didn't have the heart
to kick him, because they pitied him.
Then he was beautiful, large and 1.-THE
OF limb, with splendid coat of chest
nut hair. His whines were like the
cries of a heart-broken child.
At last the dog found some friends.
He wandered into the press room with
his plant. The reporters investigated
his case and then besicged Capt.
OMa]ley for permission to take the dog
into the calaboose. The dog helped out
all the time with his whine, and the
good-natured captain yielded. you're
too faithful to belong to that man." he
said, as he wrote: admit five men and
a dog
The dog led the way to the GALA
boose, seeming to know what was up.
When the gate was opened he darted in
and seemed to know where his master
was by instinct. When he saw his
master his joy knew no bounds. He
barked, licked his masters hands and
frisked about in perfect paroxysm of
Joy. Tears came to Shilling's eyes.s"I
don't deserve such a friend" he said.
The dog, was left in the corridor in
sight of his master.-St. Louis Globe
Democrat.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02

while DR.. Haughton cut away the in
growing claw.
Meanwhile the tigress, which had
been placed in an adjoining den, was
frantic with rage, flinging herself flu
riously against the bars in her mad
effort to come to the rescue of her lord
and master. When she was readmittetl
to the tigers den after the operation
she examined the wounded paw most
tenderly, purring the while and licking
her mate as if to soothe him.
Both animals appeared to have real
lied that the operation was beneficial
one, for week afterward, when Dr.
Haughton looked in to see how his pa.
tient was progressing, he was received
in the friendlist way and was even al
lowed to examine the mutilated paw.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
PUNoENT PARAGRAPHS.

Natural Inference.-N. Peck-"My
wife hasn't spoken-a cross word to me
for two weeks" Observation-Disclosures
is she coming back?"-Indianapolis
Journal.
"A Mean Insinuation.-The Counts
Fiancee-"I received my engagement
ring to-day. Isn't it beautiful" Her
Friend-"Very beautiful! Have you
shown it to the count yet?"-Puck.
Some Doubt About It.-He-"I sup
pose if your father found me here he
would kick me out of the door," She
-"Oh, I don't know. Papa's punting is
wretched." Journal.
-Bacon-"It's all very well for you
to talk; but why should he say was a
confounded hog?" Hamm-"Come to
think of it, it was an entirely unneces-
sary remark. Boston Transcript.
Out of His Class.-Schoolma'am
tencoura gingly)-"Come, now, Harold;
spell chickens" Harold-"Please,
ma'am, I'm not old enough to spell
chickens; but you can try me on eggs"
Judge.
A Child's Deduction Little Robert
Papa, do camels come from Ken
tucky?" Papa-'No. What makes you
ask that?" Little Robert-"Our teach
er told us to-day that camels can 90
for weeks at time without water.''-
Chicago News.
Another Victim.-Benson-"W
have you been for the last six weeks?"
Dawson-"Been over at Dwight taking
the gold cure" Benson-"Why, 1
didn't know you ever drank anything"
Dawson-"I don't. But I had to do
something to relieve me of the Klondike
desire. Chicago News.
Sad Meeting.-Two wan, CHASTITY,
foriorn spectres encountered each other
unexpectedly. "Let me pass!" ex-
claimed one of the two, with feeble
attempt to DC naughty and scornful.
Il am "Trilby.'" Il WILL" replied the
other, with hollow cough, stepping
aside. II believe you are deader than
am. I'm The Heavenly Twins ~
Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
"COmin' Through the Rye"

Bismarck has had to pay for comm
through the rye. It is harvest Gus
tom in the duchy of Lauen burg when
person passes through field where the
corn is being cut for the workers to stop,
bind few ears of corn to his arm and
then demand money for his ransom.
The old statesman and his son, Count
Herbert, were driving few days ago
through the cornfelds of B;smarck's
Schonau estate, and they stopped to
look at the men who were cutting the
rye. Hereupon the men threw down
their scythes, took up some stalks of
the rye, and, going up to the two Bis
marcks, courteously but resolutely
fastened small bundle of rye to the
arms of the visitors. The man of blood
and iron, who has conservative rev.
erence for old German customs, cheer
fully paid for the ransom of himself
and his son with two gold coins. Bis
marck insisted on retaining the signs
of his bondage upon his arm until he got
Observation-Disclosures Gazette.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
Di3amy i'm Italy.

Italy is said to contain more biga-
mists than any other European coun-
try. The church refuses to recognize
civil marriage, the state does not regard
q church marriage as binding. AS the
majority of people are Catholics, and
would not tolerate any measure which
had the appearance of encroaching on
the rights of the church, it is impossible
to pass law providing for the punish
ment of any priest who should have per-
formed religious marriage before it
has been made legal by magistrate.
The result is that large numbers of un-
scrupulous men take two wives, one in
the eyes of the church and one in the
eyes of. the state.-San Francisco
Chronicle.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
VICTIM OF THE HORNETS.

in to be skeered off by my talk. fin
ally told elm to 60 ahead, and they
went back fur the nest. The young fell
Ter is lynn on the lounge downstairs,
and perhaps ye'd like to look at him ?"
1 went in and saw young man in
fannels whose head was about three
times too large, while his face was
swollen so that he could not open his
eyes. Cloths wet in vinegar had been
laid over his face, and the farmer re.
moved them to say:
Young man, what was your thoughts
when the fust hornet flew outer the
nest?"
Il Dunno was the whispered reply.
Didn't you think anythin' when
about so of 'em tackled you?"
II can't say"
what passed through your mind
when 1000 of them insecks, each with
tee tn like buzz saw, lifted you and the
gals three feet high?"
IL dunno"
The farmer was about to put an
other question when l suggested that
Id better hurry on for the doctor.
"What l was tryin' to git at" he
said as he followed me out, "was
whether that young Teller thinks he
was run through a thrashin' masheen
OF gored by bull, but I'll talk to him
later Oh. The three gals is upstairs in
bed and wuss off than he is, and the
only one who kin talk keeps calm out
fur somebody to help her off the barbed
wire fence. They'll all live, I reckon,
but they won't want no more hornets
nests to ornament halls with. Yes, tell
the doctor to hurry up, and tell him
say it'll take him three hull days with
a par'r O. pinchers to pull the stings
out!" M o11AD
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
FOUND GOLD IN A GRAVE.

Hard-Up PROJECTORS Strike a Rich
Lode While BuryinE n Miner.
OK. Walker, representing St. Louis
iron mandatory, was in happy mood
when met by reporter one evening re-
Gently, and kindly offered the follow
ing little story, for which he vouches
and gives it as moral lesson: "a good
turn will always turn up so that you
will never get the worst of it" he began.
SLOW do you suppose that one of the
+ best fellows that ever lived became a
rich man? 1t isn't long story, but
it shows to finish that a square act
never goes astray, even if it does take
some time in finding its way around.
Jere Gordon went out to Colorado in
the early days, without a cent, to save
his life. He was in poor health, and as
last resort sought higher altitude
for remedy. He knocked around for
~ years and lived from hand to mouth.
I was then living in Colorado at Como.
We all liked Jere and had learned to
admire many good traits in the poor
fellow, knowing that it was not his
fault that things didn't turn his way,
and you can bet that none of the boys
would refuse him shelter when matters
pinched hard on the unfortunate lad.
Well, one day Jere struck out; he was
disguised with the world in general
and with Jere in particular. While
plodding along in lonely part of the
country a couple of days after that he
came upon the dead body of miner
lying in the road. Poor wretch
thought Jere, I suppose that's how
will fetch up He started in to give
the dead stranger the attention he'd
like himself and was soon digging a
grave for man he had never seen be-
fore. He didn't dig far, though-hard-
~ two feet. He had run across gold
gold. solid gold. He buried his un-
known friend in another hole and quit
the first one rich man. A good turn,
even to stranger, will never give you
the worst of it," concluded the St,
Louisan, as his memory returned to the
good old days when gold was plentiful
out west.-Galveston (Tex.) News.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
POSSUM SKETCHES.
Zeb White Tells About a Little
Family Row.
(Copyright, 1877.
x7IMIN is curious Critters" said

\X7IM1N is curious critters" sale
w the old 'possum hunter of Ten
nessee one evening as we sat before the
big fireplace and smoked our pipes.
nodded my head to show that as.
scented, and he ontinued:
my ole woman will run along as
slick as grease fur two or three months
and then all of sudden she'll break
out and be as techy as a wolf with a
sore paw. Mebbe it's that way with all
wimin, and mebbe that's what man
kin expect to put up with when he falls
In love and gifts married"
"What's the story tonight" asked,
as the old man smoked in silence and
looked. into the fire.
Zone time about six Vars ago." he
slowly began, II cum home from town
and found the ole woman sittin' out on
the doah-step and lookin' as ruffled as
wet hen. She was all right and as
clipper as yo' please when I went
away in the mawnin', but sunthin' had
changed her. She didn't pay no ten
shun to me as I sot down, and 1
knowed we was in fur row. I didn't
say nuthin' fur long time, but jest
chawed terbacker and looked across
the road at a rabbit hoppin' about.
B1meby, softly seq:
TITS powerful pleasant eavenin' i,
Mrs. White"
"She turns on me with glare in her
eyes and sez:
ayes, it's a powerful pleasant eaven-
In fur folks as is too lazy to draw r. cir
breath and don't keer how much 1, !, cir
families suffer-
'Mebbe that's me?' seq I, feelin' svrt
o riled all to once.
"Zeb White seq she, as she riz up,
yo' amt no man tall! My shoes ar
Ill worn out, and amt got dress fit
fur skunk to look at. I shall cook the
last con meal in the house fur break
fast, and the Lawd knows whar' we'll
git any mo-. Yo' hev got to be the
onariest man in all Tennessee. Yo' amt
fifteen fur buzzards to peck at. Yo' used
to git around and be sumbody, but fur
The last var it's bin whisky and ter
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02

terms which have been applied to the
various classes: A covey of cartridges,
. hide of pheasants, wisp of snipe, a
Hight of doves or swallows. muster
OF peacocks, siege of herons, build
ing OF rocks. brood of grouse, stand
of plover, a watch of nightingales, a
gathering of cloughs, herd or bunch
OF cattle. flock of geese, bevy Of
quails, a cast of hawks, swarm of
bees. school of whales, shoal of her.
rings, herd of swine, skulk of foxes,
a pack of wolves, a drove of oxen, a
sounder of hogs, troop of monkeys,
a pride of lions, a sleuth of bears. gang
of elk,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
Biz: Hats and Ostrich Plumes.

A reminder of the long-ago comes
to us in the temperance of the long
ostrich feathers, or plumes, adjusted to
lie about the brim Of the Gainsborough
hat in graceful shadowy effect. The
tiny tips of fledgling ostriches border
ing the brims of hats bring to mind the
beauties of the olden time when patches
and white wigs were an important adj
junct to the toilet of my lady.--Wom-
ans Home Companion.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02

Scald six ounces of Jordan almonds
and one ounce of bitter almonds; re-
move the skins and soak the almonds in
cold water for several hours; then
pound them thoroughly into pulp.
with half gill of orange flower water
and put this into an earthen pan with
eight ounces of the finest loaf sugar
and three pints of spring water; stir
well together, cover the pan over and
at the end of an hour strain through a
clear sieve. The pan must be kept
OIL the ice. Iced water is added for
use.-N. Y. Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
NEGROES AND THE kLohp,kE,
The Col0Fed People Were StFuol
Hard by the Fever.

AAO SOAVSSO SVOp4O were S4x0Ok
Hard by the Fever.
Perhaps you may not thing that the
Klondike fever struck the colored peo-
pie down our way said Mr.. j. G. Hask-
ms, of South Carolina, to a Washington
Post representative.
1t struck them hard, and the fever
ragged with great virulence, particularly
in Charleston, for quite period. It is
in order, however, to state that there
has been great abatement of the
malady SO far as the Senegambian ele-
nent of our town is concerned. The man
who would be rash enough to say 'Klon-
dixie to lot of colored Charlestonians
would be in imminent danger of being
ripped open with a razor.
A week or so ago there appeared in
Charleston one of the glibbest-talking
darkies that ever hit the old city. He
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
OPERATING ON A TIGER.
Entangled in q Net and Its InHrowing
Claw Cut Out.

Entangled in . Net and Its Ingrowing
Claw Cut Out.
An interesting operation was per-
formed in Dublin some time ago by
DR.. Samuel Haughton. A magnificent
tiger, one of the finest in the Dublin
geological, was threatened with gan
creme in the paw.
One Of its claws becoming distorted,
says Td-Bits, had grown into the foot,
and to save the tigers life it was nec-
essary to cut away the diseased por-
ton. The operation was, to put it
mildly, an exciting one. An immense
~ strong net was in the first place
thrown over the tiger, and in the net
he was drawn, struggling desperate
ly. to the door of his cage. Four keep
ers, each of whom must have been en-
dowed with uncommon courage as well
as strength, then held the animals paw
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
Impassioned Eloouence,

"Of course, couldn't hear what he
was saying" remarked the friend who
had been waiting in the lawyers re,
cepti on room, but couldn't help be-
ing impressed with the intense earnest
ness of your callers voice."
mo doubt. no doubt-he wanted q
loan."-Chicago Journal
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
How She GOttHim.

She-I think the average man who
. lives to be an old bachelor pays a very.
poor compliment to himself.
He-How so?
HE shows that he doesn't believe
he is smart enough to take care of any
one besides himself, or he is afraid no
girl would have him.
Two minutes later she asked him for
time to think about ik-Cleveland
Leader.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
His Unexpected Fr.nkne...

Miss Quickstep-What part of the
town are we driving through, Mr.. Fib-
BILE?
Fweddy-I haven't the least idea.
Miss Quickstep-1 was aware of that.
Still, I thought it possible you might
know what part of town we are driv-
ing through.-Chicago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
English Land Owners,

The distance from Liverpool to Lon
don is POI miles. On each side of the
railroad, as far as the eye can reach,
the most beautiful and most splendid
ly cultivated farms present themselves.
But not one foot of the land belongs
to those; who have thus brought it to
such beauty and perfection. ]. all be-
longs to six men, who own it because
they happen to be the oldest sons of
their fathers.-Albany Argus.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02

of fat collections be concluded he had
worked his Charleston compatriots
sufficiently, and decamped for fresh
pastures. 1t is safe to say that his COL
ored carcass wouldn't be worth a cop
per if ever he shows up in that COM
munity again. It was great bunco
game, but it can't be worked twice in
the same town.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
UNDERWOOD the Dusine...

MerchanDHave you had any expert
ence in chinaware?
Appicant-Years of it, sir.
Merchant-What do you do when you
break valuable piece?
Applicant-Well-er-I usually set it
together again and put it where some
customer will knock it over.
Merchant-You'l do.-Tit-Bits.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
The Census of Russia.

According to Prince Krapotkin this
is the way they take a census in Rus
STA: The official of the village takes a
nip of brandy and says: "How many
children were born last year," "Oh,
25." Then he takes another nip and
sayal "Oh, let's say So" ,.s:
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
Location i'm General.

"Where am r." gasped the left
tackle, opening his eyes feebly.
They answered him with candor.
Roughly speaking, he was just back
of the 20-yard line. His nose and the
back of his head, however, were not
definitely located as yet.-N. Y. Jour.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
All Royalty Related.

Nearly all the royal personages Of
Europe are cousins, and not very far
removed, as it has been laid down by a
German genealogist that every crowned
head Of Europe, excepting Turkey, is
descended from one or other of two
sisters, who lived about $50 years ago,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
The Difference.

what do you think will be the effect
Of that politicians last utterance?"
1T depends on the individual" re-
piled Willie Washington. "People who
like him will call it 4 praiseworthy
step and those who don't will refer to
it as "a shrewd move "-Washington
Star. .. -s- -@
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02

The ingenuity of the sportsman is.
perhaps, no better illustrated than by
the use he puts the English language
to in designating particular groups of
animals. The following is list of the
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
Material of Certain Brushe..

"10eTIA1 VI OcEt81A 0F080e0.
The finest shaving brushes are manu-
featured from badgers hair, and ''cam-
els hair" brushes are turned out IN.
great quantities from squirrels tails
and from the hair that grows inside The
ears of oxen.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-12-02
To Her Taste.

Hicks-Does your wife buy your
ties?
Wholesome of them. And she
wears those she buys.-Somerville
Journal. . Il.
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1897-10-29
SUPREME CURT ON NOV. 6
THE FIRST WILL NOT BE HELD NEXT
WEEK.
Lawyers From Infected Points Could Not AT
tend and 1t VIII BE Given a Fu-
ture Vacant Week.

The supreme court OF Alabama Will
convene IN Montgomery Nov. despite
the fact that yellow fever is prevalent
in that city.
Judge ]. B. Head returned yesterday
afternoon from Blount Springs. where
a conference of the judges was held.
He said that it was determined that
court would be convened Saturday, Nov.
G. when such further action will be tax.
en- as Is qhen deemed necessary. The
first division of the court is by law set
for next week, but owing to the inability
of lawyers from Mobile and other in
fected points to attend. nothing could
be accomplished by converting. before
Nov. 6.
= The meeting on the 9Th Is to conform
to a legal requirement. which will save
the term from a final adjournment until
next year. The first division will be
given one of the vacant weeks after tn =
fever subsidies. If the situation IS such
thai the division due to begin Nov. 8
cannot be held, future vacant week
Will also be devoted to 1T,
The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1897-10-29
WOULDN'T PAY F02 DRINKS.
Mr.. Mittage Tried to Work the 'Barkeep" and
Was Arrested.

G. Mittage seems to seriously Object to
paying for anything. at least he mani
tested this spirit yesterday.
Yesterday morning he went irbo she
',Ben Top" saloon. on Seico-'i avenue,
and ordered go o.ntg' worth of drinks.
He refused to nay for th.rn. The bar
keep" allowed this to pass unnoticed.
In the afternoon Mittsge retn.ned. He
again ordered drinks, ami again refus a
to pay for thsm This line tiie bar
keep" sent for the poEce.
Berg arrested was as dist.syt.ful to
THAT gentleman as paying fdr drinks.
He told the 'barkeep" that there would
be dead policeman If he WIS m ,, stsd.
He charged his mind, however when
Officers Pa;.ten ard McDoEald ar.ved.