The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-05-22
Use the Only Spring Remedy in the World Tha
Stood Every Test Of Time.

20 be.-CincInnati Enquirer.
Moss-what do you think would be
the greatest evil of another civil war,
Foss-The plays that would come1after
it-Life.
Those people next door are still in
their honeymoon" DO you think so?'
ayes. he goes shopping with her.
Chicago Record.
Here Is n joke about an electric
shock" said the humorist. Put IL nm
der the head OF Current Fun" re-
ulIed the edfor.-Life
Reporter-Will you be a member OF
the cabinet? Great Statesman-Uml
This weather certainly is very remark
able.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
Fair Poetess-Won't you please print
nv poem? Conciliatory Edltor-I can't.
really: but should like to print your
plcture.-S omervllle Journal.
"Tve discovered why the Greeks
we're such a happy people" ''why was
ityo "They didn't have their clothes
made to fit."-Chicago Record
"Brownjones is the hardest man to
take In shorthand that I ever s. 1cl
Does he talk so fast as that?' mo
so COMPOUNDED slow."-New York Sun.
Frizby-ls II not much more expens-
I've cruising In yacht than travelling
on the cars? Vanwart-The reverse.
There are no porters on yachts.-Judge.
The way my neighbours daughter sings
Would make one tear his hair;
Yet suppose she has the right
Because she rents the air.
Judge.
Were those cough-drops benefcial?"
They worked like a charm. They
have such horrible taste that the chill
dren have all stopped coughing. Chi
cago Record.
DO you know your neighbors, the
LppertonsF' mo, we don't know
them at all; they merely used TO lend
Us their lawn mower last summer
Chicago Record.
Scientists say that the secret OF all
lie Is vibration" "Poohl I've had
lots Of people give me the shake. but
there wasn't anything secret about IT,"
Chicago Record
81 like to cook enough to last" re-
marked the young bride. you do. you
DO" groaned the devoted hubby. mo
matter how little you cook."-Cleve-
land Plalndealer.
Il thought perhaps you would give
me lift, sir" he said as he entered the
office. "You will find the elevator in
the front of the building" replied the
bookkeeper.-Judge.
Sultor-I called this evening, Miss
Shock, to ask you to be my wife. Miss
Shock am sorry to say, my friend,
that you have made a mistake in your
calling .-Richmond Dispatch.
For college honors he had scorched
And on the gridiron roasted,
And though his comrades said well
DONE"
At banquet he was toasted.
Boston Courier.
She-Oh, yes. The predictions are
In this column headed Weather Prob
abilities" He-That's right. II they
called 1t weather Possibilities" 1t
wouldn't be so bad.-Puck.
May-l think Kate's refusal will
have good effect on Charley. Maude
i hope so. but he's so frightfully slow.
May know. but he told me It had
cut him TO the qulck.-New York
Press
May Begay-And II you think the
other party is bluffing, of course you
Oct higher? Jack Potts-Well, that Is
The usual course, but I've found that
mat is generally a good time TO drop
out-Puck.
Fuddy-Yes, | know; but has Plod-
Ger really written anything OF value?
Duddy-Of value? Decidedly yes. He
showed me one article alone on which
he had spent at least 50 In postage
Boston Transcript.
"Oh," she moaned. ito think that
should have come to thisT But there
was no help for IT, Her companion,
VINO had brought her there, had a
lnend In the oratorial contest, and he
was near the last Of the list.-lndianap-
oils Journal.
Landlady-Then you would like to be
called at eight, sir? New Ledger with
euring allowance)-Well. no: not eN-
aelly called, don't you know. But the
srl might mention the time, then,
suletly-very quietly. in case | should
De asleep-Fun.
Cnaritable Old Lady Ito little beggar'
eIl-Ihere's some bread for you. It's
uay or two old. but you can tell your
-O'ner to take three or four fresh eggs
@ylart OF milk. a cup OF sugar, some
200 butter. and half a grated nutmeg
sau she can make very excellent pud'
ung OF it.-Dublin Times.
Yes" said the retired army officer
can recall two occasions when was
s'noly frightened" "Oh," exclaimed
e romantic young lady. "do tell me
-S0ut them. suppose it happened
een you were fighting the Indians
40 he replied; zone time was when
vas married, and the other time was
caen we had our baby christened. -
overland Leader.
l." was an hour past midnight, and
ar BinnS was fun,hlinc ohouf In tbs