The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-02-07
Bah ON EXPRESS COMPANIES
Her China Broken and Her CinVaS Back
Duck Lost.
MEN IMPRESS; WOMEN ONLY PLEASE
Bab's Peculiar Experience With Corpora.
ton Autocrats-iiow She Iong-d for
satisfacfion-The Value OF Hi-tor-
ical PIa,s-Pcoplc and Eats.

|
can impress where a woman can only
please. There are times when the mere
fact OF being man forces success; and
these times are. undoubtedly, when IL be-
comes necessary to find fault with tho
methods Of a corporation. mere are
some corporations Of which i highly APP
prove-the railroads In the utmost lux
ury they take me flying across the couh-
try TO wherever / wish 10 30, anu gem
eralizing think the servants OF the raiI-
road are polite. TiCket-sellers have an
UNPLEASANT way Of convincing a woman
that she Is an idiot; but then, so many
women. who take up the time Of the men
I'm the ticket Office are idiots. PorterS
are polite when they hope. less polite.
perhaps. when they receive, for expect
ancy is always a pleasant state of mind.
But against one Of the other corporations
that one which guarantees TO take a
package. and, for a certain sum OF money.
deliver IL at your door, have grioY-
ance. and q just one.
During Christmas week the expressman
is a welcome guest. Every time the bell
rings some face Will appear at the win
dow. looking out 10 see II it is an express
wagon. / have gone through all those de-
| lights: have expressed my thanks TO the
! brngers of gifts, not only verbally, but
| materially.
GOT COLD COMtOkI.
! Yet there Is another side or the story
and that Is the sending Of packages ana
boxes. One day found me at the door OF
| Ewes Express Company with four par
cells and a wooden box. The wooden box
was marked in large letters, Fragile,
| IL contained a lovely cup and saucer or
| the very finest china, filed with bOnDonS
and properly packed by a china packer.
| As one does with a present, paid for its
| travel. Within week news came that
the box had arrived but--the cup was IN
a hundred piecesl 4 visit TO the Office OF
| this special corporation resulted in my
| being informed that l could never get
ANYTHING for it, The man that told me
| this was very civil, but his civihty was
| convincing. Experience No. /.
Experience No. IS more dramatic.
! Two DAYS before Christmas there came a
telegram-1 have nothing to say against
! the telegraph company at present-that
read: "CanVasback ducks and holly IN
basket sent last night-Merry Christmas.
All day long that basket was looked for
At night the news Of its non-arrival was
wired to Baltimore a search was sug-
gested, but alas, days went by, and mean
time instead OF canvasbacks. rich, lus-
cious and tasting OF the wild celery, ! had
to eat turkey, dry, tasteless turkey. Then,
the man who had started tho box sug-
gested that | investigate Having little
belief in This special corporation. ! start
ed. dressed like the gentleman OF song i'm
my best suit of clothes. without fear and
without trembling That was before l
knew as much as I do now. on my ar
rival at the dingy offices Of the company
/ inquired for the president. "Out OF
town" Then / asked whose business II
was to attend 10 complaints. l was sent
TO an Office boy who knew nothing. From
him I was in way. tossed over to
young man who knew everything. out
who proposed TO keep his knowledge 70
himself lie sent me up a winding flight
OF stairs. and ! landed after tripping
twice before a door marked "Superin-
tendent." Two knocks and no answer.
Then I entered. There were more men
smoking cigars than i had ever seen IN
one office in ali my business career. ]
inquired for The Superintendent. Busy
Well. would anybody see me, yes his
secretary" The secretary was seated al
a desk from which he did rot arise nor
did he offer me n chair The minute
looked at him / knew that he was my
enemy. lie was short, rather broad, shy
of hair on his head. and with brlstly
mustache that looked as II II had
shock OF electricity and each hair or
which suggested fight. He wore glasses
Now glasses usually give people a bencVO-
lent look but even a halo wouldn't nave
made this man look like anything but
either the possible ancestor of bruisers or
the descendent of a long line OF prize
fighters.
| started 10 tell my story I'm the most
business-lfke way. / offered as evidence
of the truth OF my statement copy or
the manifest book which told or the re-
ception Of the ducks. This gentleman %
kindly asked how he knew that this mani
fest page was genuine. / inquired with
certain heat. how in the name OF every
thing good and holy l could get a page
Of the manifest book Of a place nearly
two hundred miles from me? He didn't
make any answer 10 my remark. but am
nounced that. probably. the address was
not written I'm ink. As the basket was
sent bv q man. ] was sure IL was prop
erlv addressed. Then he told me that
II they found the basket / would have 10
take #. Now. / like ducks high. but
don't like them over month after Kill
ing. even # they have been kept In cold
storage a few more corporation CIVIL
ties made me so nervous that departed
hoping that the old place would catch on
fire and some awful thing happen 10 that
man. A few days passed. Chats way
novelists always wrte) ] got a letter
II assured me that the basket had been
delivered that II had been receipted for
by n Mrs. Italiano: and that. I'm future
II would be wise If I would refrain from
censurlne the company. This did take
my breath away.
never knew before that when YOU sent
a package by express you received. in adj
dition TO IT'S possible loss. little moral
tag. answered that letter. ! told that
man that there was nobody In my apart
ment or I'm my house OF that name; that
the express company could ind Mrs.
Italiano and prove why she could receive
a basket addressed TO me. But OH II
had been a man, I should have gone
down there. 7 should have sworn what
IS commonly known as a blue streak"
The company would have paid for tho
ducks. the holly. the basket. my worry
and my inconvenience. and there would
have been no story. But being a woman.
I have endured being called a forger, e
kind Of n thief. although, I must confess.
that now the superintendent man has
written me somewhat apologize letter
I'm which he asserts his determination 10
find Mrs ItalianO or die. No. he dosent
say that, but that's what he ought 10 say.
Now do you wonder that corporations 10
me are not attractive bodies2 Although.
II held some stock In ono I suppose
should feel differently. but I do believe II
/ did that ! would vote for having civil
men 10 meet all complaints. II that man
had been half way civil. sympathiZed
with me. and had told me OF his sorrow
for my lost ducks | should. most prob
ably have given mp duck hunting and
taken TO the more ordinary pursuit OF
earning my daily bread