Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-04-29
boldened by Uncle Jim.s winks,-w.y.

yes. Amt it all right? W.
Mrs. Skinner-Willie Skinner. you're
getting too old to play innocent, You
knew that wasn't in the piece.
Willie-Uncle Jim said it was.
Mrs. Skinner-Well, it seems to me
your Uncle Jim is all the time trying to
get you into trouble. should think
you'd find him out after awhile.
Uncle Jim-Why, there's nothing bad
in what he said. twas just little vari-
| alton on the old verse.
Mr.. Skinner (tTying to keep straight
face)-What did your teacher say, Will
lie?
Willie Encouraged by his fathers
mirth)-Oh. gee! She was hot under
| the collar!
Mrs. Skinner-Willie Skinner, where
do you learn such language?
Uncle Jim-What did she do?
Willie-Aw, she just stopped me and
made me go back to my seat. an said
next time she'd send me home.
Mrs. Skinner-If I'd been your teach
er I'd have whipped you good.
Willie-Ho! Hobo! That just shows
all what you know. Teacher can't whip
kids any more. Any teacher that whips
a kid gets fired that's what Ed Nc
earthly says.
| Mrs. Skinner-Well, Ed Mccarthy
needs whipping if any boy ever did.
| Mr.. Skinner-It's n good thing for
you that you haven't got my old teach
err. If you tried one of those funny
1 root 70 ty,,h no h,~ 20
your jacket.
Willie-Huh! I'd like to see some
teacher lick me!
| Mrs. Skinner-I wish sometimes that
teachers could inflict punishment. 1
know if was teacher I'd whip those
Mccarthy boys if I lost my job the next
Gay.
Ethel-When we're bad in our room
the teacher sends us home.
Mrs. Sl1inner-That must be Terrible
punishment for some children.
Uncle Jim-I'll bet Bill would hate to
be sent home one of these pleasant
afternoons.
Willie-Aw, I wouldn't care.
Uncle Jim-Would you come right
home?
Willie-Aw-w-w! One day way aast
summer Ed Mccarthy KEEP on THROWN
| paper wads so the teacher would send
him out, 'cuz he wanted to see a ball
! game, an guess she was ON to him, for
| she didn't send him home, at all. She
| put him in the corner and made him
stay after school, an then all us kids
waited to holler at him when he came
| out, an he was so mad he run after
Bob Ellsworth an chugged him right in
the stomach an
| Mrs. Skinner-Willie, you'd better eat
| your dinner. You can finish that some
other time. IA.
Uncle Jim-Who is your teacher
| now? } q
Willie-Aw, it's Oh Miss Sanders.
Mrs. Skinner-Willie! Don't let me
hear you speak in that manner of your
teacher again. Do you hear?
Willie-I guess if you had to go to
school to her every day you wouldn't
be SO stuck on her.
Mrs. Skinner-Never mind talking
back. If you have anything to say
| about her, call her Miss Sanders.
Uncle Jim-Doy you love your teacher?
| Willie-Aw, keep still.
Uncle Jim-Why, every little boy
ought to love his teacher. Ethel loves
her teacher, don't you, Ethel?
Ethel liked her the first day.
Wilhe-Oh, gee! You can do any
thing you want to the first day. We
| thought Miss Sanders was a dandy
| when she first come, but she's got SO
cross now us kids can't do thing.
Mrs. Skinner-No wonder. You boys
would spoil the temper of saint. It's
bad enough to take care of one. Idon't
know what I'd do if had 20 on my
hands.
| Uncle Jim-You'd do what Miss San
ders does. You'd put up with them as
long as you could and then send them
home.
Mrs. Sl1inner-Well, I'd get even with
those Mccarthy boys. I'm sure Willie
| would never have got to reading those
cowboy stories if it hadn't been for
them.
| Uncle Jim-Probably Mrs Mccarthy
thinks it was Willie that led her boys
| astray.
| Mrs. Skinner-Indeed! I don't see
what reason she has to think anything
| like that. Willie behaves himself very
we'll when he keeps away from those
boys. They are always getting him into
some trouble.
Mr.. Skinner-Im afraid they don't
| have to mil at him very hard Chicago
Record.
Making Railroads Smoother.
The fact that within the past Is years
| two-thirds of the unevenness in rail-