The Republican journal., 1897-11-11
Republican Journal Thursday Morning. November H. 1897

Kansas Wit and Wisdom.
From the Atchison Globe.
Most good doctors are homely.
Every one has kin problem he can't
solve.
No tight laced woman ever made good
butter.
How a girl enjoys having two lovers
tagging after her!
We suppose Santa Claus lives in the
Klondike country.
When in love, prepare for the time
when you will be out.
Almost every fat woman wears her
dress too short in front.
When people die, and when they go
wrong, they are all ''prominent.'
No difference how we'll you play the
game Of life, you are sure to lose.
No man can save money as long as he
grants all the demands of his poor kin.
No man can make a satisfactory distri-
button of the gifts on Christmas tree.
A great many things in the world need
what newspaper men call ''editing.'
Foot ball young men cali girls dressed
in, fi,Il S.haJf haol,e
1t almost turns man from his friends
to hear man he detests booming them.
1t is a woman's idea of being womanly
and motherly to talk bad grammar to a
baby.
\ woman who ever taught school will
hate a school board twenty years after
ward.
Considering how nice girls are, it is sur
prising how low they cut their party
dresses
The most sincere compliment man
ever pays his wife is when he says she is
economical.
Our idea of an unusual man is one who
asks his wife to get up and recite before
company.
If your credit is good, banker regards
it ii favor when you ask him to loan you
money.
A t1atterer means half he says. If the
t1atterer is a woman, she means three
quarters Of it.
Only use lead pencil in writing your
signature to letters of recommendation
and petitions.
They talk of the path OF the transgres-
sor being hard, but every good man
thinks it is easy.
The world is improving: There are
more sudden deaths every year, and fewer
cases of long suffering.
A father never thinks that his children
are old enough to think for themselves
until they agree with him.
When a woman with ''proper pride"
takes in roomers, she says it ism for the
money, but for the company.
Speaking of tue onward march of prog
ress: How long is it since you saw a
man eating with his knife?
After a man once gets married, the law
allows him to kiss no other woman but
his wife, his mother and his sisters.
haitian FOL,
ners are at the close of meal than when
he first begins to satisfy his hunger
If woman can keep from being fool
about man, the probabilities are that
she will be of some use in the world.
An unmarried mans opinion of pretty
clothes for women is better than a mar
ried mans, because it is not biased by
bills
Preachers are always praised in public,
whether they deserve it or not. But they
get the hide taken off them in private.
I'm supporting him." a father said
to his wife, concerning their worthless
son, land you can afford to be patient
with him. -
After woman has been married three
or four years, she is perceptibly broader
across the back than her unmarried
sister.
When the actress is pretty, the men
in the audience are always conceited
/ enough to think they could coach the
/ hero on kissing.
People are generally cross on rainy
days, we often think, not because of the
gloomy weather, but because they lose
their umbrellas.
Poets claim that fall is melancholy be-
cause nature looks doleful, but the rea |
reason is that people have not laid in their
winter S supply of fuel
Competition is becoming SO brisk that a
man doesn't dare spend money after he
earns it, for fear of offending dealers who
fail to get his trade
| When mans daughter reaches 16, and
is remarkably pretty, he finds sort OF
reward in looking at her for having mar
ried and suffered so long.