St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1897-11-05
FOOLS UNCLE SAM.
How the Heather Chinee Works
the Government.
He Accommodates American Coin and
Gets the United States AuthOri-
ties to Send Him Home for
Nothing.

"Melican man think IN smart.
Think'm Chinaman no smart. He, he.
Chinaman foolm. Heap big joke on
Mclean man. Ha, ha, ha.'
Wah Foon, second-rate politician and
Observation-Disclosures held his sides
and guffawed uproarious.y.
Come right down to it, this pig-tailed
Rainey of the Celestial quarters had a
right to ha-ha. Worse, all of China
town is with much difficulty suppress
ing its mirth over new dodge, by which
Uncle Sam is being played for a good
thing"
When, a heather gets tired of this
country and wants to returns to his ma
tive flowery kingdom nowadayshe does
mot have to bother his barbered head
about a grub stake, passage price or
anything else in the way of expense. He
is sent home by this government-and
that's where the joke on Uncle Sam
comes in.
When congress passed law requir-
ing all Chinese residents of America to
register and provide themselves with
certificates showing that they had
bowed to the will Of the government, it
was hoped that by this means the fed
eral authorities could keep tab on its
Chinese population and effectually reg
ulate immigration of this class.
The officials were clothed with au-
thority to seize and deport, after given
date, all Celestials found within the
boundaries Of the United States who
could not show that they had complied
with the regulation by exhibiting the
necessary certificates. This was good
enough as far as it went, but it appears
that it went not far. True, the Chinese
when they once got started registered
in droves-50,000, for instance, at this
port alone. Duplicate certificates Of all
of these registrations are piled up with
in the local custom house building, but
inasmuch as no index of the same was
ever compiled, it is next to an impossi-
bihty for the government officers to
tell who has or wlAo has not registered.
Their only recourse is to keep sharp
eye out and grab every Chinaman who
cannot show a certificate.
Now, it is this very state of affairs
that gives the "heathen Cbinee" the OPP
portunity to exhibit the superiority of
his cunning and ingenuity. 1t has pro-
vided him with the means of enjoying
free trip W China whenever The takes
notion
Here is the modms operandi: All Sin
wants to go home. He has enough of
America and American goldL He goes
to certain agency in Chinatown which
makes a business of purchasing certif-
Gates for the purpose of reselling them
to Chinese who are smuggled' into the
country and are naturally nervous of
their chances of remaining. He in
creases his pile by bartering away his
passport
The agency's contract does not cease
with the mere purchase of the paper.
One OF the minions is dispatched to the
United States marshal's office with the
information that one All Sin, who can
be found at this place or that place,
has mo certificate, and consequently has
no right to soiourn in this country.
The marshal has the law before him,
and has no alternative but to go and
seize the supposed contraband. The
man hasno certificate, of course. When
Uncle Sam undertakes to deport, he
must pay the bill.
No wonder Wah Foon ripples with
glee.
The federal officials say there is no
help for 1.-THE law prescribes what
they shall do, and per srce they must
do it.-San Francisco Call.