Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1897-09-15
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The publisher of Bentley's MfsceI-
lany was telling Douglas Jerrold Of the
doubts he had about the name of the
magazine. II had thought once" said
the publisher. 'of calling it the Wits
Miscellany" 'Well." rejoined Jerrold.
you needn't have gone to the other ex-
treme."
Canon Knox-Little told a story once
at a church congress Of u lych- gate in
front Of a beautiful church, which had
been restored and. made very nice
There was painted over the door, "This
Is the Gate Of Heaven" and under
meath was the large notice. go round!
the other way"
A good Highland minister was en-
deavOring to steer a bOat-lOad of city
young ladies to n landing place. A.
squall was bursting; the steering was
difficult. One of the girls annoyed HIM
by jumping up and calling anxiously.
"Oh. where are we going tor IF you
do not sit down and keep still, my
young leddy." said the minister-pilOt,
succinctiy, that will vera greatly de-
pend on how you Were brought up"
A burglar In Germany, passing
through room where a boy lay in be&l
explained to him that he was the dev1.
and having thus frightened him, as he
fiattered himself, into condition of 81
lence and immobility. went his way
after the silver. But the boy, who was
a religious character, presently said to
himself: 'If l should kill the devil
there would be no more sin," and creep
Ing to where his fathers gun lay, took
1t and shot the burglar. He now be
Neves that the devil is dead.
An English peer. for some offense.
was called ont by politician and
promptly responded to the challenge
On arriving at home again after the
duel, his lorlship gave n guinea to the
cOachman who had driven him to and
from the ground. The driver appears
to have been an exceptionally honest
simple man. He was surprised by the
largeness of the sum presented, and
said, MY lord, only took you to -"
"Yes. yes; know that. But the guinea
is for bringing, me back"
Ellen Beach, Yaw is much entertained
when she is at her home An Southern
California. Recently a yachting party
was made up In her honor, ,anG crufs.
was taken on the channel Miss YsW
became seasick and took to her berth
ward, went in to inquire how the guest
was feeling, and heard her humming Il
lullaby I'm n most peculiar tone. '4I'shr'
said her maid, don't disturb Miss Yaw
now. she is very SICK" But she is
singingv' cried the visitor Yes,
KNOW" answered the girl. but Miss
Yaw means in tune that way SO it.
wont disturb anybody else"
The queen was once Informed by the
manager of her Shaw farm that S.ot--
tish farmer was n breeder of superior
collie dogs, and she thereupOn eX-.
pressed n wish to possess one of them
Accordingly, the farmer forwarded two
beautiful dogs, and her majesty gave
orders that the next fine he came to
the farm he should Immediately be tax
en- up to the castle. The farmer N::s
cOmpOrt himself i'm the presence of
royalty. and the manager put him
through his facings. AT last the ateful
day arrived, and he was ushered into
the presence of the queen. Her majes-
ty shook hands with him, and said: 81
have to thank you fOr,the two beautiful
collies you sent meI' And to this gra-
ciOus remark the farmer replied:
''TOuts. touts, wumman! baud yer
tongue! What's. the matter O. a pair O.
1owgs between. you and meY'
The Duke of'Vyellington was n greaa
stickler for punctilio in what seemed 10
him the proper places, When the regE
ment of his son, Lord Douro, waSQuar
tered at Dover, the duke was staying
Mt Walmer CASTLE and the officers rode
over and left theirjcards, as n matter nf
from the Duke fof Wellington, invitin.
all the officersitO dine, but ignoring hfs
own son. When Lord Douroiasked fos
an explanation, the duke gave it thus.
with great good humor: Il make no
distinctions in this service. Those gen
tlemen had paid me the corr pliment of
a visit, and invited them to; dinner.
You were not among them, sou omit
ted You in the Invitation"
A Gulf line special. filled,with the Of
fcers Of the road on O tour oftinspee-
ton, was tagged by some Woodworking
on a section near Colorado Springs.
Shocked by the suddenness ofJthe stop,
all of the officers rushed toi the rear
platform, where the men weEe cOngre-
gated, to learn the cause Of the hold
up, each apprehensive thatl a wreck
had occurred on the line in the vicinity.
Mr.. Hartwell, the paymaster, was the
first to inquire of the man nearest him.
q rnw-bOned recruit from Tipperary.
who had not been in the service of the
company more than a fortnight
There's bin no accident, yer honor"
said the Irishman;' Il jist wanted to in
Quire of yez whin the paycar'Il be
along" There was some wiring en-
gagged in Mt the next stop. and Pats
sOlicitude for the arrival of the paycar
was relieved by the prompttreceipt Of
his pay-check.