davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

The jokes that practical jOkers play
upon wise men are sometimes as funny
as they are elaborate A case in point
is said to have occurred some years ago
in England when humor loving in
dividual who rejOiced in the possession
of fine vegetable garden found therein
one evening large turnip. 1t so hap
pened that this particular turnip was
marvelously like in its shape to a man S
head and bore a very decided resem-
blance, too, to the features of a man,
The joker, perceiving fine chance to
make a point and struck by the curious
resemblance Of the turnip, had a cast
made Of it and sent the cast to phre-
nologist, requesting him to examine its
bumps and to make a report.
After sitting i'll judgment upon the
cast for some time, the phrenologist, so
the story goes, reported that while he
could not judge accurately from the cast
it was his opinion that it was the head
of person Of acute mind and deep re-
search; that he had the organ Of quick
perception and also of perseverance
we'll developed, and that there were
signs that he was also a person of ex-
treme credulity. lis opinion was sent
by mail, aud the phrenologist expressed,
in closing, the hope that at some time
he might have the privilege Of examin-
ing the head itself.
The reply was sent that the Ovnel
would gladly comply with this request,
but that unfortunately he could not do
so, since the original had been eaten By
himself and his family several weeks
before with their mutton at CinnPr.
What the phrenologist thought Of the
reply is not stated. -Harpar's Round
Table
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
THE GENUINE MAN.
A Quality That Goes With Good Sense and
Self Respect.

No man is genuine, says Woodrow
Wilson in The Atlantic, who is forever
trying to pattern his life after the lives
of other people, unless indeed, he be a
genuine dolt. But individuality is by
no means the same as genuineness, for
individuality may be associated with
the most extreme and even ridiculous
eccentricity, while genuineness we con-
ceive to be always wholesome, balanced
and touched with dignity. 1t is quail
ty that goes with good sense and self re-
spect. 1t is a sort of robust moral sanity,
mixed of elements both moral and in
tellectual. 1t is found in natures too
strong to be mere trimmers and con-
formers, too we'll poised and thought
full to fling off into Incorporate protest
and revolt. Laughter is genuine which
has in it neither the shrill, hysterical
note of mere excitement nor the hard
metallic twang of the cync's sheer,
which rings il fGe honest voice Of gra-
cious good ,l.nor, wGch is innocent
and unsatirical Speech is genuine
which is without Stiffness, affectation
VI DICUCISC. l. LtlU GudIdCItE is Rtuulu6
which seems built by nature rather than
by convention, which is stuff of indie
pendence and of good courage.
Nothing spurious bastard, begotten
out Of true wedloCk of the mind, moth
ing adulterated and seeming to be what
it is not, nothing unreal can ever get
place among the nobility of things gen,
uine, natural, of pure stock and unmi3-
taxable lineage. 1t is prerogative of
every truly human being to come out
from the low estate of those who are
merely gregarious and of the herd AID
show his innate powers cultivated aid
yet unspoiled - sound, unmixed, free
from imitation, showing that individ-
ualization without extravagance, which
is p6nuineness
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

Here, for instance, is the recommendation
for the people to use DR.. Greene's Nervura by
one of our greatest statesmen, Hon. H. Henry
Powers, Morrisvle, VT, Member of Congress
and Chairman of the Committee on Pacific
Railroads, Member of the Committee on cleo
ton of President and ViCe-Presdent, and who
for sixteen years before taking his seat in Con-
gress was Judge of the Supreme Court. He
has also been State Senator and Speaker of the
Vermont House of Representatives. Surely
there can be no higher testimony in favor of q
remedy than the personal words of so distin-
gushed q statesman and eminent judge, and
we doubt not that his testimonial and encour-
aging recommendation to those who are out of
health to use DR.. Greene's Nervura, will result
in the cure of everyone who reads these lines,
for his advice will certainly influence all to i'm
medatey use DIR. Greenes Nervura.
Congressman Powers says:
al have found that DR.. Greenes Nervura
blood and nerve remedy is a most valuable
tonic, toning up the system and producing a
condition of refreshment and buOyancy after
long continued mental strain. l have heard it
spoken of in terms of high appreciation by
many responsible witnesses, and fully concur
in their opinion. ..
H. HENRY POWERS"
Get Dr. Greene's Nervura blood and nerve
remedy at once and be cured.
Remember that this wonderful cure is
physicians prescription, the discovery of the
well-known DR.. Greene, "a Temple Place,
Boston, Mass, who can be consulted free by
the people, personally or by letter.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Science on Brains,

The following extract is from Have
lock Ellis book, "Man and Woman"
again, until quite recent times it
has over and over again been emphat-
ically stated by brain anatomists that
the frontal region is relatively larger
in men, the parietal in women. This
conclusion is now beginning to be re-
garded as the reverse of the truth, but
we have to recognize that it was in
evitable. 1t was firmly believed that
the frontal region is the seat of all the
highest and most abstract intellectual
processes, and if on examining dozen
or two brains an anatomist found him
self landed in the conclusion that the
frontal region is relatively larger in
women, the probability is that he
would feel that he had reached con-
clusion that was absurd. 1t may in
deed be said that it is only since it has
become known that the frontal region
of the brain is of greater relative extent
in the ape than it is in man and has no
special connection with the higher in
tellectual processes that it has become
possible to recognize the fact that that
region is relatively more extensive in
women.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
What a Woman Says About a Trunk.

"When woman tells you trunk is
light, look out for it. " These are the
words of baggage expressman, and he
ought to know. He had gone to house
in the suburbs in rf>>>onse to q hurry
call and found the house in great bus
tie. The lazy was going to leave town
in an hour, and her trunk was up stairs
and had to be brought down and loaded
into the wagon. Its not very heavy"
she said to the man, wheTeat he spat on
his hands and called in his helper. He
had all he could do to lift one end.
eve found it always the case, p" said
he, THAT when a woman says trunk
is light it's dead sure to be heavy, and
when she says it's heavy l can usually
handle it with one hand. | don't know
why a woman is this way, unless she
thinks l charge her more for a heavy
trunk and will never find out how
much it weighs unless she tells me.
But if that is so, why does she tell me
that light trunk is heavy? I'll give it
up. NEBRASKA State Journal.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Coal Mines to Start.

Hazleton, Pa, Sept. 20.-Today is
looked forward to as a decisive day.
An attempt will be made to resume at
Lattimer, where there are 1900 men, and
at Audenreid. There are nearly 25OO
men at the latter place, and they were
the first to go out. Many of them want
to return to work, but bands of women
have prevented them. To insure pro
lection a squadron of cavalry and the
entire Eighth regiment will GO to the
scene. The men at CoXe's Drifton mine
are also to decide today upon staying
out or continuing at work. All these
places will be well guarded by troops,
and if the men are peacefully permitted
to resume work it is thought that the
backbone of the strike will be broken
and no further violence will result.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
CUBANS REJOICE.
Three Big Expeditions Reach
the Island In Safety.

Carried Large Quantity of Dynamite,
Other Amunitions and Medicines and
Number Of Men President Palma Says
1t Is the Opening of FALL Campaign.
New York, Sept. 21.-The Cuba junta
has received authentic advices Of the
safe landing on different parts of Cuba
of three big expeditions between the LIST
and 18th of the present month. They
were the most important that had been
dispatched since last winter, and great
joy prevailed at the headquarters of the
junta when the news arrived that they
had eluded the Spanish, who were be-
lieved at one time to have been on their
track.
The three ships carried a large guam
tity of dynamite and other munitions
of war; together with an immense sup
ply Of medicines for the army Of the pa
triCts. In all, there were over 40 men on
board, going either to join the Cuban
army for the first time or returning to
the ranks There were two doctors and
two dentists. Three Of the most i'm
portant members of the expedition were
Carlos Duble Carlos Buenocose and j.
J.. Ahumanda, former officers of the
CHILEAN army who had been in New
York for several weeks, awaiting an OPP
pOrtunity to go to Cuba to help in the
fight for independence.
Among the leaders were Brigadier Ra-
fael De Cardenas, Manuel NJ. Coronado,
the editor of the Havana paper La Dis
custom, who had to flee from Cuba last
winter; Gerardo Forrest of the Porto Ri
can junta, all Of whom are well known
in this city, where they have lived many
years The doctors in the party were
juan Bruno Zayas and Francisco Villa,
and the dentists, Federico Truiillo and
Antonio FOntanjllas. Other interesting
members of the expedition were a num-
Der of the Cubans who escaped from the
Spanish penal settlement in Ceuta, At
RIGA, and recently arrived in New York
This is the opening of the fall cam
paigu,' said Thomas Estrada Palma
speaking of the expeditions. 'It is an
earnest, moreover, of our intention to
pursue a vigorous policy during the COM
ing winter.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
WOMAN AND MUSIC.
The Two Are Bound Together In All Up
to Date Education.


If few years ago music had been de-
clart4d to be as necessary in education
as in mathematics or physics, the state
ment would have been received with
amazement, if not with derision. Inc
early aim of common school education
was the making of practical men ana
women, and by practical" was meant
preparation for the ordinary bread
winning affairs of life. Not that the
moral side of education was Ignored,
but it was believed that the three MS
and the hard and fast sciences, together
with general Endorsement OF religion
and good ethics, were sufficient factors
in character building and all that the
schools should supply. Music, lltera-
ture and drawing. if they found any
place in the curriculum, were merely
incidents that were not suf1lclently
practical to he requisites, nor was their
more subtle and potent influence on the
character and the higher development
of the mind appreciated or perceived.
ornamental they might be, but they
were not believed to be useful. Only a
visionary sentimentality considered
these arts as necessary to public educa-
ton. Today art, in broad sense, occu-
pies far higher place in the regard OF
every educator of note and OF every
man who is alive to the interests OF
we'll balanced and symmetrical educa-
ton. In fact, the art influence in edu-
cation is coming to be adequately ap-
preciated, and art is no longer considered
an incident III life, but rather the real
ity itself.
We are not attempting to detract
from the nobility of labor. That educa-
ton which POUNDS industries, which
adds to the comfort of mankind, which
makes posi- Bile the cultivation Of the
arts, we must recognize, uphold and ad-
mire, but that education which tells
us we are not altogether commercial
machines; that to love something for its
innate beauty and not for its pecuniary
worth is wise and good; that by loving
harmony of sound we may come to
love harmony of deeds; that tones
which speak to us of others sorrows,
making us forget self, may be of more
worth in the end than much positive
science-such education we are begin
ming to revere and to see in it the most
practical method of developing sweeter
women and nobler men. Philadelphia
Times.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

mOnd deal The tale goes on TO tell that
Barnato, who figured as Felix Barnette,
had fallen desperately IL love with 8
fgurautp III tue kolleS BerGeres Just as
the war ut Iy1U truke out, that he had
fingered III Pans, became member +
one Of the Red sOCl6 ties, exploited
the ardent p4trIousm Of MS cOworke"s
and succeeded III getting several MIL
lions of the cash lac had forced from the
Eank of france The tale, whether
true or not - bv 10 raeans so lmprob-
able as the actuaI lacjs known IN the
man : mastery Of rne Alrl,au diamond
YIELDS, tul to dl { It '4- vas forced }
put blu!sI i gains such schemers )
Cecil hDuH,+ all to content with
the "dour ~hlft-pess Of tie Beers, and
particularly with iuat as,ute old fox
Uncle krugtc
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Railrond stations.

Is ita reasonable regulation OF rail
road company to keep its station open
only from Z O'Clock in the morning to
z o'clock at night in village i'll which
there are but 90 inhabitants? This ques-
ton has just been answered III the
affirmative III the courts of Indiana at
circuit and upon appeal. A passenger
had bought a return ticket, which he
was required 10 have stamped at such u
station before it would be receivable
for his hOmCward trip. He neglected to
apply at the station for this purpose
until after p H., when the Office had
been closed for the day, and he insisted
that under those circumstances the con-
ductor was bound to accept his ticket
unstamped, as it was unreasonable not
to keep the station open longer The
courts, however, were unanimously of
the opinion that IL hours a day afford
ed the passenger an ample opportunity
to present his ticket and that the rail.
road could not be required to keep its
station at such a village open day and
night -EXchange
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Blue Book Secrets.

London, sept. 1S.-The Times this
morning publishes the gist of the cor
respondence between Secretary Sherman
and Lord Salisbury in the Boring sea
controversy. The blue book covers a
period beginning with 1895 and ending
with July 80 of the present year. Alto
gether there are 1O7 dispatches, which
show that the United States has pressed
for revision since January, 1895. The
Times remarks: Though Mr.. Sherman
SO far forgot himself as to sign the fam
Gus dispatch, we cannot suppose that he
actually wrote it." Only the concluding
paragraph of the dispatch is republished-
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
nn1Iar Wheat Denonnced.

Buffalo, Sept. 20.-Meetings Of Eng
fish and German speaking socialist labor
Deople and of Poles were held Sunday
to denOunCe Sheriff Martin and the
shooting of the striking miners. The
gathering was orderly. Probably 2O0O
people attended both meetings. "Dollal
wheat" was denounced as well as the
sheriff, the speakers claiming that the
high price of wheat meant only deare1
flour for the wOrkingmen.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Teaching a Turk Manners.

The governor, who was seated,
counting the beads of his rosary, On a
small divan, remained seated as | APP
preached, without attempting to rise or
salute me- Neither had he any chair or
other resting place to offer me and
merely held out his hand saying, You
are welcome. Taking his hand with a
firm grip, lifted him gently from the
divan and said, 81 am glad to see you. 3"
When l got his astonished excellency
well on his legs, 1 wheeled him round
suddenly and dropped on the middle Of
the divan where he had been seated,
leaving him standing. KGid Ben 4 kir
looked bewildered, gaz 1 fist AZ me
and then at his guards, aid think was
still meditating whether TO bolt G. call
his sCowling attendants to IL and
bastluado me, when / addressed him,
How thoughtful of you to havel rep red
this comfortable divan for me TO sit
upon, without providing for yourself
chair or even a stool where you could
sit to entertain mer' He murmured,
THE divan is my seat. ''Ah, said,
80 you intended to remain seated while
the representative of the greatest SOW
ereign in the world, accredited to your
lord the sultan as envoy, came to call
on you'll | shall report your conduct to
the sultan, as also the behavior of your
guards. " Whereupon the kaid begged
pardon, and the two sat together upon
the divan and made friends AS Hay
passed out the captain of the guards
said, You are right. -" Memoirs of
Sir John Drummond Hay"
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

Terre Haute Ind, Sept. 1S.-The In
diana operators and miners held a joint
conference yesterday to agree on a scale.
The miners and operators were more
fully represented than ever before in the
state. All agreed on Sc cents, but me
operators say they want the assurance
that the miners at Danville, Ills, will not
work for less.
The Danviile miners sent three dele
gates to give that assurance. The oper-
ators at Danville are reported to be will
ing to pay Sc cents but unwilling to
recognize the miners labor organiza-
ton by signing with committee
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
snnrrinr In Chicncn.

Chicago, Sept. 2L-Sparring contests
under police supervision are the allur-
ing prospect which is now being held out
to lovers Of the sport. Mayor Harrison
has liberal views on the subject, and has
expressed himself in favor Of such ex-
hibitiOns within proper restrictions.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

Singers. actors and public speakers
since the introduction of the electric
light have less trouble with their voices
and are less likely to catch cold, their
Threats are not so parched and they feel
better. This is due to the air being less
vitiated and the temperature more even.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
TOMMY ATKINS VANITY.
CurIs His Bangs and Pads His Chest, 81
This Writer Ayers.

CurIs His Rangs and Pads His Chest, So
This Writer Ayers.
you'd hardly credit the vanity Of
some soldiers, said sergeant major
of the guards. "That perfect curl which
you see on Tommy's forehead is more
often than not the result of an hours
persuasion with hair oil and pair of
curling tongs. Nearly all soldiers are
handles III this way. They use expen-
sive hair oils and pomades-very often
Curriers', the same as those used by
women.
''When they have oiled and brushed
and brushed and oiled, the curling
tongs put the final shape On, Any sci
dier who is a clever curl maker-and
who cares to do so-can earn few
shillings extra weekly by putting his
services at the disposal Of these fast-l
ious young men.
"Tommy is not quite SO particular
over his boots, but very nearly so, The
fastidious soldier does not demur at Is.
cd. pound for fresh butter, nor an &C.
casiCnal sbillings for deer's bone, to
tone down the leather with.
"Most Tommies wrathfully declare
that chest padding is a fabrication, but
l can assure you that it is done. Cav
alrymen in many crack regiments are
much morelvain than women. Their
mustaches are trained, many Of them
use face powder, and so perfect and
beautiful do their trousers fit that they
dare not sit down or bend the body
without extreme caution. To add a
charm to their walk the steel rowels
are taken out of their spurs and sawed
sixpences inserted instead, the result of
which is lively musical jingle. -
London Answers.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

Lancaster, N. H, Sept. 21-Ford
Moore of West stewartstown, who was
lost in the woods near the Connecticut
lakes Thursday while hunting, has been
found. He was in a famished condition
near the point from which he started.
He had subsisted on raw deer meat and
-sn,1irrpls for three daYs.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Big Difference.

"Whatp said the judge. lyon expect
me to send your husband to prison when
you acknowledge that you threw five
flatirons at him and be only threw one
at your"
Eyes; that's all right judge" said
the irate Irish woman, but then the
one he threw hit me- "-Harper's Bazaar.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Reception to DingIey.

Rockland, Me, Sept. 1.-Congressman
Dingley arrived here last night to speak
at the G. A. r. fair Mr.. Dingley was
given an impromptu reception at the
Thorndike, some, 800 of the prominent
Republicans from the leading towns of
the county being present to shake hands
with the representative from this dis
tr,int
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

Its always policy to laugh at poor
joke, says the Manayunk philosopher.
If you don't, the man who tells it may
give it to you over again, thinking you
have missed the point "-Philadelphia
Record
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

If YOU have ever seen little child in a
paroxysm of whOoping cough. or if YOU
have been ANNOYED by a constant tickling
in the throat, you can appreciate the value
of One Minute Cough Cure. which gives
quick relief. \. I. Clarke; G. L. An
drews, Newbury.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24
Not Yet Settled.

Brockton. Mass, Sept. ga confer
nee between the manufacturers and the
sole fasteners was without result. All
propositions made by the sole fasteners
contained a clause that the Goodyear
people would not interfere in any shop
where there was any trouble between
the help and the manufacturers. Messps.
Cobb and Smith declined to accept these
terms.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-09-24

A crocodile takes so seconds to turn
oompletely round.