Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-11-25


~~~1
'Dr. Franklin was irreverent when a
boy. One day after the winter provis-
ions had been sailed, he said: II think,
father. that If you would say grace over
the whole cask. it would be a great say
Ing at meal TIME"
A writer in What to Eat was once ut
4 summer hotel when Larry jerome ar
lived and ordered dinner in half an
nour. "How many Of you are there?'
asked the head waiter. How many of
me," said Jerome, do l look like a
combination troupe!'
Haydn. who was a famous glutton,
once landed in Dover with an empty
stomach and ordered dinner for four at
a tavern. When it was ready to be serv-
ed, the waiter inquired about the com
pany. Company" said the compos-
er; Il an the company"
During the revolution, a little Amer
lean p~rivateer once stole up on an Eng
fish line of battle ship in a fog, mis-
taking her for an East India merchant,
and ordered her to strike. When the
seventy-four ran out her guns and
threatened to blow her puny assailant
out Of the water, the Yankee skipper
stepped to the gangway, and. taking
off his hat, said politely: "Oh, very
well, sir, If you won't surrender, I WILL"
The learned Oxford professor, Max
Muller, one asked Vivekananda If Ram
krishna, a great Hindoo religious teach
er, knew Sanskrit. The answer at first
was evasive. but finally Vivekananda
said: when Ramkrishna was in the
Jungle as an a~scetic, a beautiful woman
came down from heaven and taught
him the language" "Nonsense:" was
Muller's reply; "the only way to learn
Sanskrit is to get a grammar and a die
tionary and go to work."
The King of Siam is not as yet a
Shakspearean scholar. On the recent
occasion of his visit to Denmark, he ac-
companied the Crown Prince Frederick
to Helsingfors and was duly conducted
to the grave of Hamlet, Prince of Den
mark. Here he took off his hat and
stood for a moment in r%everential 81
lence. Then, turning to the crown
prince. he said, with deep sympathy:
"A relation of your royal highness, I
presume. Has he been long dead?"
A Tennesseean tells this story of a
darby freight hand on a Southern rail-
way. 1t seems that Ben, the darby,
had been placed in charge Of a mule.
whose destination was marked on a tag
attached by Irvine to the mules leg.
Before the animal had been persuaded
to enter a car, he, in some way. man.
aged to reach the tag and, before Ben
could interpose, the mule had the tag
well chewed up. The old man looked
up the local freight agent and asked
In perturbation: wat I goin' do wild
dat mewl? He done ct up de place
were he's goin'."
DR.. johnson called one morning on
Benjamin West to ' with him on
American affairs. After some time Mr..
West said that he had a young Ameri-
q Colbert Stuart) living with him,
from whom he might derive some in
formation, and introduced Stuart. The
conversation continued Stuart being
thus invited to take part in it,, when the
doctor observed to MIR. West that the
young man spoke very good English:
and turning to Stuart, rudely asked
him where he had learned 1t. Stuart
very promptly replied, "Sir, l can bet
ter tell you where l did not learn it
1t was not from your dictionary"
In Scotland when an infant is to be
baptized, the father is bound to show
some kind of speaking acquaintance
with the shorter catechism. One day
collier went to his minister to be-
speak him for the christening Of his
child. "How many commandments haze
ye?" asked the minister. Twenty" re-
the collier, who was forthwith
sent back to pursue his studies in ele-
mentary theology. On his way he met
a brother miner, who was going to the
minister on a similar errand. "How
many commandments haze We. Jockw
asked the first. Ten" "Oh. you
needn't trouble him wi ten; l offered
him twenty the while, but he wasna
The Constitution was a beautiful
ship, and wherever she went excited
the most favorable comment. After
the war she was visited by an English
officer Of high rank, who, after making
inspection, said: This Is one of the
finest frigates I ever saw, II not the fin
est: but / must say that her wheel is
clumsy and ugly and unworthy of the