Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-09-16
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She-So you don't like that hat just
In frost of us? How would you like II
trimmed? He (savagely)-With a lawn
mower.-Tit-Blts.
The Captain (boisterously)- Come.
old man. brace up! What's got into
you? Passenger--If you don't put me
ashore you'll very soon see.-Life.
"Poor, motherless girlv he exclaim-
ed, and turned sadly away. What he
wanted was a motherless girl who
should be I'm moderate circumstances,
at least.-Puck.
acknowledgements 1eaving home)--
Moo, Janet, dinna forget to max lcetle
Sandy TAX his glass e'e DOT when he's
ma lookin' at aething.-New York
Truth.
She-Oh, James, how grand the sea
Ia. How wonderful. / do so like to
hear the roar of the ocean. He-So
do I, Elizabeth. Please keep quiet
Lustlgen Blaetter.
Cholly Ricketts, Observation-Disclosures
me, dearest, and / shall enter a mon
astery and be monk. Maude Sum-
merfirt-M Don't you mean
a menagerie Puck.
Joking aside, madam, two girls
have gone insane from love of me
and you say you really cannot love
meY mo, baron" Third case Of in
sanity"-Fliegende Blaetter.
Old Millyuns-Young man, my
daughter tells me you kissed her last
night. Percival Tootles-Well, II she
wants to go Dragging about it, that's
her priyilege.-Chicago Record.
Weary Willie-Ef you he'd a million
dollars, Fields, wot would you do wit
it? FlOwery Fields-W'y, wouldn't
do nutt'n' wit it'd jest rest easy and
let 1t do sutt'n' wit me.-Truth.
Everybody seems to be on an equal
ity in Klondike," said the shoe-clerk
bOarder. YES" said the Cheerful
Idiot, lone man can cut as much Ice as
another up there. "-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
Mr.. Gotrox-What would you expect
me to do for my daughter II you mar
ried her? George Goodthing slightly
embarrassed)-YOu be
willing to die for her, would you?-
Judge.
paw" asked the little boy" "what
Is n brain-workerT "A brain-work-
err" said the old man, I" Is man who
has to spend all his salary in dressing
up to the position lie holds. Typo
graphical Journal. ~....,
Isaacstein-Dot vas quveer ting
vot happenedt to Rosenbaum's shtore.
Dere vas burglary undt a shmall
fire der same night. Cohenstein-Yes;
Rosenbaum toldt me dot he came oudt
shoost even.-Puck.
Papa" said Billy, tearfully, after a
playful romp with the goOd-natured
but rather rough st. Bernard puppy,
Il don't believe Bingo knows what
kind of dog he is. He plays as If he
thought he was a little pug."-Bazar.
Young Lady-You are n wonderful
master of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasional
blay aggompaniments sometimes.
Young Lady-Accompaniments to
singing? Professor Won Spieler-Ag-
compartments to gonversations.-Tit
Bits.
Mrs. Newlywed-That is our new
burglar-alarm-you see, If a burglar
should get into the lower part Of the
house, that would ring. Her mother
Oh.-and scare him Off? Mrs. Newly
wed (doubtfully)-Well, it might; but
1t would give Clarence and me plenty
of time to hide in the attic, anyway
Puck.
First Assistant Tin Daily Hustler Of
fice)-It strikes me that the editor Is
becoming decidedly absent minded.
Second Assistant-Why do you think
so? First Assistant-Why, in that
long article on the wonderful progress
OF mankind during the reign of Queen
Victoria, he never once mentioned the
Increase in the circulation of the Hus-
tler.-Puck.