Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-09-12
HE ESSAYS TO STEAL A MARCH
 ON THE OLD MAN.
The Grand Finale Turns Out a Farce, and Another Heart Huugereth For What
 1t Hath Not

In the little village of kingsland, on the Cotton Belt, thirty-two miles south of this city, resides swain whose nature has streaks of sentimentalism in it, and these streaks are sorely disturbed when ever fair daughter of Eve so dis l poses.
 This swain is just now emerging from the middle of what proved to be one of the most disturbing dis turbanees it has fallen his lot to encounter. In this same village in which this modern Romeo resides there also resides a modern Juliet. Some time since each of these be- came enamoured with the other, willing away the'r leisure hours billing and cooin8 : over the back yard fence like .8o turtle doves over .shock" of fceshly.cut wheat.
 These billing and cooing meetings, as they usually took place during the front end of night time, It seems, in some unaccountable way, interfered with the old mans" slumbers, likewise his rest, and likewise his placidity of mind, and he at length became very much an gered and forbade the young man the premises, and aiee the hand of the young lady. But sly Cupid thought to steal a march on the old gentleman by putting into the heads of these young people the idea that it was possible for them, when the curtain of night had been drawn about old earth's reposing form, to hie themselves away in a manner unrevealed to any other soul, and seek the abode of good old father some miles out in the sticks, who has been young himself and knows the fond yearping of youth, and who has had conferred upon him in bis declining days the high office of magistrate of his beat, and be bound together by those silken ties that closer and closer bind as Time un- ravels it's intending thread,
 This agreed to and all arrange ments perfected, the hero of the  coming escapade went about his daily labors with the joy of song in his heart, ard his dreams at night were filled with advance realizations of that felicitous state which was so soon to dawn upon him.
 The appointed time and place found him in readiness, awaiting the presence of the only object needed to complete his life ard smoother the rugged places along the pathway of his mundane jour ney. Only few minutes was he kept in suspense, when the swish of sweeping garments and the soft fall of slippered Trlbys told to him that the time for action had come
 Going through performance which you, kind reader, can better imagine than your humble servant of the Faber can depict, they then cautiously and speedily placed dis tance behind them until they stood in the presence of him who was to join them together until death did them part.
 The ceremonies and congratula- tions over, 10 and behold what was the surprise ot the groom, when his bride relieved herself of very in- geniously constructed disguise and revealed to h1s astonished gaze, not the being for which his panting heart thirsted and his eager arms yearned, but neighbor boy, in- stead,
 "The old man. had caught on, and taking young friend into his confidence, played very successful little game on his much-desiring-t to- be son-in-law.
 And what is worse for the disaF- pointed swain, the young lady now says in speaking of the little affair at the trysting place, that fellow that can't tell the difference in the kissing of a boy and girl, is not the one for her.