Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-03-04

apron, and reached down her nat from
the pegs behind the kitchen door.
Hurry, why don't your said Misf
Hardscrabble.
81 am a-hurrying, amt II" retorted
Betsey Jane
But at this moment rumbling
sound, like the throes Of miniature
earthquake, struck on both their ears.
Hes knocked down the whole half
ton OF coalw screamed Betsey Jane.
"He's banging at the door to gel
out" shrieked Miss Hardscrabble.
Away went Betsey Jane after the po-
lice, while her MIST ess locked herself
In and considered whether there was
enough red lavender and valerian in
the house TO justify her going into hys-
terics. And then the police arrived,
and she hadn't time to indulge her ner-
vousRess.
Come out of here, you vlllin"
growled Policeman 100000.
Let me outw roared voice from
the inside.
Eyes, I'll let you out" said Police
man 100000. "Oh, you hoary-headed
old sinner, just come along with me-?
How dare you" shouted the cap
tive.
IF you've any question to ak, you'd
better keep 1t to ak His Honor In
Court" said Policeman 2O,OO0.O2, and
he dragged the culprlt out and clapped
on pair Of handouts before Betsey
Jane and her mistress could believe
that the desperate villain was really
in custody.
"A-breakin' into peaceable citizens
coalholes and frightenin' the ladies!
wonder you amt ashamed Of yourself,
said Policeman 100000, with an extra
jerk to the necktie of the brigand. u
say, come along, why don't you? Now
ladies, don't be scared! The gangs al
broke up"
At this juncture the fluttered doves
of this cote ventured to peep over the
banisters Of the basement staircase
Miss Hardscrabble uttered shrek
which, as policeman 100000 said
ran through him like carving knife
TITS pa!' said Miss Hardscrabble.
cts master" said Betsey Jane.
Brute Of policeman" cried Miss
Hardscrabble, release my parent!
"Ain't he a burglar?" demanded
Policeman 100000, in great perplexi'
ty.
"No more than yourself" said OLD
M. Hardscrabble, who, with his mouth
and eyes filed with coal-dust, and his
face resembling that of negro min
strel ready for the stage, presented
most indescribable appearance!
Dearest pa" exclaimed Miss Hard
scrabble, flinging herself upon him.
Don't be fool, Zeruiahg' was his
tenderly parental response.
But how came you there?" demand
ed the policeman, naturally reluctan
to let go of the burglar whom he hat
captured with SO much eclat. "Thii
ere whole proceeding has got kind o.
queer look. to my mind"
II don't know that it's anybody
business" said old Mr.. Hardscrabble
sneezing vehemently, "but ! wen
down on my way from the office tt
measure out the coal in scuttles ant
make sure there hadn't any Of 1t beer
spirited away. didn't speak to any
body because 1 didn't want anybody
to know; but that stupid servantgirl-'
ut was me, pa" said Miss Hard
scrabble, looking up the house"
mo matter who it was" said Mr.
transferable, angrily. Between yor
two fools l got locked in before
could make you hear, And now the
whole matter is explained. You needn't
wait, policeman. Go about your bust
ness, girl Zeruiah, if you're quite
through staring, perhaps you'll lay me
out a clean shirt"
The policeman skunk away, BetseJ
Jane descended into the kitchen, gig
Cling under her breath, and Miss
Zeruiah disappeared into the liner
closet, while old Mr. Hardscrabble
rubbing his abraded joints, sat before
the parlor fire, muttering to himself:
"Such fools as people areg-NeV
York Ledger.