Chicago eagle., 1897-04-10
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l. not Of love or politics.
But. Nv i'll the coal hold out?'
Chicago Record.
Remains TO be seen: The boy who
has an appointment with the teacher
after school is dismissed. Boston
Transcript.
Kcan-Isn't your wife afraid to drive
that horse? Steam-Not at all. It's
the people she meets who are scared.--
Hartford Times.
First Office Boy--lt says "Our hero
now partook Of frugal repast." What |
does that mean? Second Office Boy
Quick lunch.-Puck.
Husband-why should you blame me
because we were late TO the theater3
wife-You forget. dear. that you hur.
ried me up so.--Puck.
.Wobbles rides his bicycle in his nat
now "ln his fiatI" "Yes: it's steam.
heated. and be has to scorch UP aud
down the hall TO keep warm.'-Life.
went into the theater.
But left IL with a sigh:
The play was long. the jokes were broad,
The hats were very high.
-pick.Me-Cp.
DO you think opals are unlucky?"
inquired the superstitious man. YES"
was the reply. my wife wants Que.
and It's going to cost me S50.'--Wasa.
ington Star.
Does your latest novel enjoy large
sale." he inquired. Il don't know
whether the novel does or not" replied
the author, but I 1do."-ChicagO Times.
Herald.
Rural Teacher-what current event
Of great interest can you give me this
morning Small Girl (cagerly)-My ma
has Just made twenty tumblers Of jel-
iy.-Judge.
willie-Its always In damp places
where mushrooms grow. isn't II. papaf
Papa-Ycs. my boy. "ls that the cen.
SOU they look like umbrellas, papaf'-
Yonkers Statesman.
Did you ever get SO mad that words
failed your" ''Yes-ouce." when
was thatT "Just one.eigh,h OF a Sec
ond after I called n prize.aghter .
r."-Chlcaeo Record.
Mudge-Oh. yes. we had a real lively
time. Simmons and I. 1t cost us near
" $50. wickwlre-Ycs. l saw Sim
mons this morning. md he told me hs
spent $45.-lndinnapolis journal.
Come. Julie. let's 20 and have q
friendship oyster stew together.
"rriendship oyster stew! what's thatY'
"Why. you pay for mine. and III pay
for yourS."--Ncw York Journal.
she-And you sny that you Inv.
never been In love? He--Never. have
thought I was. scventy.ave or eighty
times but I always found out after
ward that wasn't.-Somcrville Jour
nal.
The subordtnatc-IIere Is a Iette
from n young woman wanting us 4
give some Of the legends about the ori
gin of the fan. The Chlef-Turn
over TO the baseball editor.-lndiau
apols Journal.
However ling the line may be
With civic folk and troopers.
Each marchcr proudly feels that he
4. the grantest 10 that pngcantry;
The rest are merely supers.
--Washiugton Star.
.Apd Is she really the trained s'nge
she claims to be:" beyond douo
She cuu e,ng Comm Through the KY
80 that nobody Gun tell what It ~ VIII
out looking at the program."-Cinc''
natl Enquirer.
First Doctor-Well, that's just llS
these actresses! Second Doctor-WM
isY First Doctor-Why. that Nil
May Cupp won't let us look into ~
head with the y ray until she max
up her mind.-Puck.
Brown-'rhe sporting editor OF III
naper doesn't know Ills business.
says here that that lightweight box
weighed llS pounds. JOnes-Isn't TN
right: Brown-No. lie should ha'
said clipped the scales. Judge.
Couldn't Stand Alone.--"rhey tell Q
Van Wither Is very weak since Ills 10
sickpess." "IIe IL. saw him on =
street Just now and asked him Tor
ayer; but he couldn't stand loan.'
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
"Amy, my love, ! wish we lived
tho good old days when a knight COZ
fight for his lady love-" "Why, Geori
dear. rs for that, you haven't ASK
papa's consent to our engagement
vet. YOU know."-Forget-Me-N
The Comedian ION the defensive
But you know there are only seven r
foxes In the world, II Is said. The ~
bre,te-I know; what puzzles me
that YOU have never happened ur
any OF thcm.-Cinclnnati Tribune.
Nellie--I don't see why Charley ID
ple,on has suddenly been so taken W
Dot Thurston. How do you acco'
for II? Jessie-Oh, ! believe she
The first one to notice that he was n
ing a mustache.-Cleveland Leader.
sometimes" said Uncle Eben.
man dat pays hundu'hds oh dssSahs
flags an decorations ain ez much
or patriot ez de one dat goes Quie
long an pays Is taxes an serves
de Jury wlfout notwithstanding
Star.
Arizona Al-Wal. what do You til
OF thatr Here's Jim goin' an gift
married. Chloride Charley--Wal. th
the way OF the world! Arizona +.
Right enough; but look at this;
Cards" That's what comes OF n
ryin' inter pious family.-Puck.
The whale spouted In triumph. IN
.r Won mind" shouted JONAH vim