The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1897-08-06
HE TOOK A CHAIR.
When He Got Home, He Managed to Sep
arate Himself From 1t.

arate Himself From 1t.
All good and true men appreciate the
indescribable evidences of the gentle
hand of fair woman that are to be found
in many households. Whether it be in
the deft arrangement of a portiere, the
disposition of brio-a-brac, the scattering
here and there of fragrant flowers or the
general air of daintiness that character
ICES her presence, the influence of wom-
an is always refreshing. Then, too, tho
sex is growing day by day more practi-
cal. No longer content with playing
Chopin's masterpieces ON the piano,
with painting chinaware or embroider-
ing tides, they are getting closer to
everyday matters For instance, in a
certain Lucas avenue home the girls,
two vivaciOus and accomplished bellies
still in their teens, have made a won
derful difference in the appearance of
the interior. They have restored and
redeCOrated everything, and their latest
achievement was the revarnishing of
half dozen occasional chairs in the
paTlor.
Two young beaus called one evening
last week aud were ushered into the
parlor. The girls soon put in an APP
pearance, and the quartet spent very
pleasant and intellectual time. Now it
happened that one of the callers seated
himself on a newly vanished chair
The weather had been quite warm, and
possibly the girls had not sufficiently
looked into the question of driers when
they did the vanishing Be this as it
may, it is certain fact that after
chatting pleasantly with Miss Nellie
for half an hour the young man, de-
string to change his pose, discovered,
to his horror and dismay, that he could
not. He burst into cold perspiration,
and his manner became so embarrassed
that Miss Nellie could not help noticing
it.
cit certainly is little warm" re-
piled the youth as he parried her query
''Then won't you sit nearer the win
dow? You'll get nice breeze here, "
remarked Miss Nellie, with an impul-
sive sOlicitude that under ordinary cir
cumstances would have brooked no de-
NAL, but this time the poor object of so
much consideration awkwardly declined
to bulge. Unhappily he was at best
diffident fellow, and the thought of
having to disclose what had happened
almost made him faint.
At one moment, while his entertain
er was looking the other way, he made
quite desperate effort to secure his
liberty, but warning sound of rip
ping nature compelled him to stop
with a suddenness that made the win
dows rattle.
And so he sat on. He sat on until his
friend suggested that the hour Of adj
journment had arrived, and he still sat
on when all else arose. At last he
managed by dumb show to oommuni-
cate to his chum the fact that some-
thing was wrong. The chum, aided by
the girls brother, who arrived oppor-
timely, succeeded in getting the sisters
out of the way, and few minutes la
ter the victim, chair and all, was
hustled out into carriage that had
been summoned. He did not hear it,
but there was a shrek of mirth as he
drove off that was renewed when the
chair was returned the next day.
And now the young man swears he
will never set foot within the hospita
BILE house again, while the girls, who
are sincerely mortified at the tribula-
ton they unwittingly caused him, are
puzzling themselves how to make
amends. st. Louis Republic.