The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-02-18
A BOARDING HOUSE STORY.
The Landlady Thinks She Is Brainy and
Tries to BE Erudite

AHleS u
Most women reach time of life and
a stage of hard wear at which they take
refuge in being merely brainy, or being
considered so.
l had not thought that the boarding
house landlady would be attacked with
this fatal complaint, which can gem
orally be warded of by cooking and the
elementary arithmetic of the grocer's
book, but L had not outlived the stay of
more than four hired girls when the
landlady fell victim to the disease.
The first sign of it was sudden and
persistent fish diet and pocket die
tionary in her apron pocket. She served
the soup out with the manner of the
president of Sorosis and her wrapper
began to assume a dog-earcd and lit
erary air.
But circumstances We're against her.
One day the table was graced by a red
rose not of the calico and artificial type
that decorated the reception room,
smelling of patchouli and Haunting like
brazen woman, but a natural, sweet
smelling, and certainly ten-cent one.
Say" said the hotel clerk, this is
gettin' Waldorfian, eh?"
Il believe" said the landlady, in
feeding my boarders' souls as we'll as
their bodies"
The landlady's gentleman friend from
Toledo, o., launched humps of bread
upon his turbulent soup.
Special rates for theological stu
dents?" he asked.
Il mean the intellectual SOUL" said
the landlady.
Seems to me it's only the newspaper
woman who's gettin' any good out of
this new DEAL" said the hotel clerk.
Each individual and his special re-
quirements should be considered. Yes,
ma'am. A switchback running up
stairs for hotel clerks at night now,
landing EN- safely at the bedroom door,
would show consideration"
pink lamp shades for the elderly
ladies'" murmured the typewriter
Constant supply of credulous and
frivolous young men 6oarders," re-
torted the elderly manicure lady, sharp
".
Don't forget young Rialto's needs, -
said the gentleman from Toledo, o.
"Whatcher want besides an engage
ment, Rialto?"
Young Rialto Irving WallacR, the
only man in the house who possessed
fur-lined coat, was just getting into
pose to speak lengthily when the man
who travels for ladies' necllwear said:
"a listener
Gentlemen, gentlemen" said the
Iandlady, why will you spoil my little
effort to improve the intellectual at
mosphere?"
81 believe" said the lady student of
nobody knows what, that we feed our
bodies too much and our souls too little.
l know" she continued, with the air of
one who had successfully collared the
conversation and meant to keep it,
through experience and reading that
it is only suffering, hunger and even
starvation that brings out the muscles
of genius. The restaurant keeper kills
what the colleges give birth to-the-''
But, according to the habit of the
boarders, when the lady student of no.
body knew what collared the conversa-
ton, they one by one folded their tents
II mean their serviettes-and silently
stole away.
In the hall the young man who trav-
a1n1 for ppolyNNpar said confident Nv
to the hotel clerk:
well, say, the boards gone off ter
ribly lately, and l know one thing, Bill,
l amt goin' TO be starved into bein' a
genius!"
Then Bill said, as he went upstairs,
that two weeks of ship biscuit and salt
water couldn't do that.-N. y. World.