davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
BRIGHT BITS.
-Ethel-Do you enjoy a wide aoquain,

-Ethel-Do you enjoy a wide acquaint-
ance?
Arabella-Except when I have to sit
next to him in the theater.-Detroit Jour
nal
Curious National Custom.-'I was so
mad" said the vivacious young American
lady, that could have eaten a pound of
nails"
The listening Englishman made a note
in his commonplace book that evening:
Anger is so well recognized as a nervous
complaint in this country that the natives
are in the habit of taking iron to counter
act it."-Cincinnau Enquirer
Just as the physicians who had been in
consultation seemed about to reach an
agreement, the patient died
Fine subject" said one of the physi-
Clans as they gathered about the bed.
Splendid" echoed another. Seems too
bad to waste it by burial"
why should we, asked the third. ''All
we have 20 do is to get up a violent dis
pute as to the real cause of death in order
to get a chance to dissect it,
And so they worked the old scheme
again.-Chicago Post.
Business Is Business.-L!fe Insurance
Agent (cut wesO--What did Mr.. New
conner say?
Assist5 nt-He won't talk with me at all;
said he was too busy to think about life
insurance.
well, I'll hang around his house to-
night and shoot holes through his win
dows, and when he comes down town in
the morning you be behind a fence in some
vacant lot and put a few balls through
the top of his hat. Then. when he reaches
his office I'll drop in and talk life insur-
ance again. New York Weekly.
No Weakness on Her Part-The presi-
dent Of the Neurosis Society of scadd' s
Siding was visbly agitated.
So vas the secretary,
Mrs. Nimbetung, who was TO deliver
the address at to-day's meeting, cannot be
present" said the former
why not?" asked the latter.
Her husband has been seriously sick
for three or four days"
But woman of her strength of prin-
ciple won't neglect her work in the great
cause TO attend to the paltry needs of an
| individuai-and male individual at that?'
Certainly not. but he writes her
| speeches. Chicago Journal.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
An Unpublished Episode.

There is an episode in the career of Ii
Hung Chang which is never alluded to in
the promiscuous interviews which his ex-
cellency is in the habit of granting to
ladies and gentlemen in search of copy,
says the Overhill Magazine. 1t is, in fact,
as carefully avoided as the discussion of
hemp rope in certain families.
The TAPPING devastation swept over his
province when he was still young man,
and he was made captive by the rebels.
There was a great absence of scholarship
among the Taipings, and as they were
constantly putting out imposing procla-
nations, they were hard put to IL to pro-
vide descent or even ineligible literary
form for these state papers. Young Ii
was a literary graduate of the first class.
Instead of killing him, as they were wont
to Kill those who fell into their hands,
the Taipings had the sense to employ
their scholar-captiVe in writing out their
placards and manifestoes, and to this
happy adaptation of means to ends the
world owes it's Ii Hung Chang.
How he escaped from his captors is I'M
known TO the present writer, but this
is certain, that he has never forgotten
those who befrended him at the time
Indeed, it is supposed his loyalty to the
families of his benefactors has cost MIN
much, for it has led to his keeping about
him the unworthy sons of perhaps worthy
fathers. improbable servants who
brought neither credit to their nation nor
advantage to the state.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
A Good Counter.

At the close Of the o-Prussian war
says the New York Post, hasty confer
ence was held by the German leaders tc
decide upon the amount of indemnity
which should be exacted from France. Bis
marck. differing from Van Moltke, tele-
graphed 20 Berlin for a ilnancier in whom
he had unbounded confidence. a Hebrew
who was greatly disliked by the great
Prussian general. When, therefore. nc
gave his opinion a N the amount demand
ed should be so Army thousand million
francs, Won Moltkc exclaimed. impatiently
absurd! IL Is too muchi" II know the
resources Of the French people," said the
inancier calmly: they can pay II. =" ut Is
a monstrous demandr' repeated Won
Moltke, angrily; III a man had begun "a
count when the world was created he
would not have reached that sum now. '
And that Is the reason" interrupted Bis.
marck quickly his eye twinlgllnE. that
got man who counts-from Moses"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

when l went to the Pinkertons to ap-
ply for a place on their force. said an
old detective 10 the Detroit Free Press,
there was a manifest disposition to make
light Of my ambition. I had had no ex-
perience; had never learned the ways of
a great city, and there was no influence
behind my application. But the hound has
a scent, whether it has ever run trail
or not and 1 felt that l was a natural
born detective.
Probably worn out by my importuni-
ties, they told me to go ahead and find
young fellow named Silver, who was
wanted down in Pennsylvania for an ugly
crime. had read of the case and knew
that for several years he had baffled al.
efforts to capture him. 1t looked like
asking a man to work miracles, but l real
lied that to succeed would win my spurs
at single effort and 1 started out to To-
cate one man among the worlds millions.
by living quietly in Stiver's Old neigh
borhood for few months 1 picked up his
history, learned that he had always as
PRED to be bad man in the west and that
in appearance he was almost the exact
counterpart of a cousin who had gone gold
hunting and had never been heard from.
Il took the track that 1 thought the
tastes of Silver would lead him. Out there
1 took no one into my confidence. but in
serted a notice in the papers circulating in
sister of this missing cousin were dead,
that there was a large estate and that If
the son did not claim his own it would go
to his fathers brother. | was to be ad-
dressed at Omaha, and after a while l re-
ceived a letter stating that the writer knew
the heir and inquiring if there was any
reward for finding him. 1 replied that l
was authorized to offer none, but that
he was a generous man and would prob
ably do the right thing. Then came an
other letter telling me to go to a little min
ing town in Upper Colorado. l knew that
Silver was the writer. l found him, pro-
fessed to believe him the lost cousin, con-
WINGED him that his immediate family
were all dead and became so solid with
him that when 1 proposed to go on west
he insisted on my accompanying him back
to Pennsylvania. / did, and when l nailed
him he was the maddest man in the coun-
try. They put me on the staff" conclud-
| ed the Old sleuth.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
"JnmmedV Through.

The tariff bill was "jammed' through
the House on schedule time. Before the
bill was taken up for consideration it vas
understood by the republican leaders that
only so many days would be allowed for
debate, and that no amendments would
be permitted that were not proposed or
accepted by the ways and means commit
tee. The consequence is that the bill tnas
goes to the Senate is very crude af-
fair. Not quarter of the schedules were
considered by the House, because there
was not time to consider them. The bill
itself was not framed by a committee of
the present House, but by a committee
of the House which ceased to exist on
March 4.
Some of the speeches which were made
against the bill were entitled to very care
full consideration. As a matter of fact,
they made no impression whatever. For
instance, one of the opponents of the bill
demonstrated quite satisfactorily that the
bill would produce very little, if any, more
revenue than the present tariff yields, and
that what is needed is not higher duties,
which shut out importations, and, hence,
reduce the revenue, but reduction in the
very extravagant appropriations He
showed quite conclusively wherein the APP
preparations could be reduced many mil
lions of dollars without injury TO the pub
lie service. His speech did not not, of
course, have the approval of the republi-
cans, who are chiefly anxious to put into
practice their policy of protection.
But will they have the satisfaction OF
seeing it put into practice to the extent
they desire? There are reasons for think
ing they will not. The Senate is not
going to accept the bill as it passed the
House. There are republican senator's
who are of the opinion that many of the
schedules are so high that the country
would condemn them, and would vote TO
make the next House democratic, rather
than have them remain in force. The
chances are therefore that the bill that
was damned" so unceremonlously
through the House will go at a snairs
pace through the Senate. and that when
it reaches the end of its journey it will
be an altogether different bill from what
it is at present.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

Now that the House has passed the tariff
bill, it is to be hoped it will lose no time
in taking up the question of currency re-
form. The currency question was the
one on which the people acted at the last
national election. They paid very little
attention to the tariff question. In fact
they did not become in the least interested
in it. The campaign orators and the news
papers discussed the currency question,
and that alone.
The recent sound money convention
which met at indianapolis recommended
the appointment of commission to study
the currency question and report to con-
sress a plan for a. monetary reform that
would give the country a system of safe,
sound and elastic currency.
Representative Heatwole of Minnesota
has introduced a resolution calling for the
appointment of such a commission. 1t
should be taken up and passed at once.
Now is the time to solve this currency
problem. A commission appointed at this
session could give the entire summer to
the work of finding out the views of men
who. have made financial matters a study
would meet the demands of the country.
The commissions report should be sub
mltted to congress at the beginning of the
regular session in December. If that
course were pursued it is probable that
within year the country would have
new monetary system. In that event there
would be time TO give the system a trial
before the next congressional elections.
The republicans will make a serious
mistake if they do nothing in respect 20
the money question until they see what
the effect of the tariff bill will be. Even
if the Dingley bill should yield a little
more revenue than the present tariff does,
the agitation of the money question would
not be quoted. That agitation will go on
until the country has a currency system
that will not be productive of a finan-
cial panic every time the gold in the treas
ury falls below SlO0,0O0,OOO.
Just as soon as it becomes certain that
the currency will remain on gold basis,
under any and all circumstances, there
will be the fullest confidence in the bust
ness situation. Money viii be invested
freely in all sorts Of enterprises, and the
talk of hard times will practically cease.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The llama of South America is an ex-
pert marksman. though it never uses its
craft in the procurement of its food
writes James Weir in Lippincott's. Only
when annoyed and angry does il give an
exhibition of its wonderful skill in hitting
the object aimed at. The llama S weapon
is its mouth; its bullet is composed Of
saliva and chewed hay.
Several years ago at the fair grounds in
st. Louis, l witnessed an exhibition Of
this creatures powers of expectoration, in
which the victim was a country beau. who
came very near losing his sweetheart
thereby. This young man was one of
those self-sufhcient individuals who i'm
agine that knowledge sits enthroned in
the temples of their own personal intel
lects; that what they do not know is not
worth knowing" He was annoying the
llama Qhe animal stood in the center of
its pen, probably fifteen feet or more from
it's tormentoD by throwing clods of dirt
at it and by beating on the rails OF the
pen with his cane
l saw by the Great lures actions that it
was angry; the rapid movements of its
jaws indicated that it was preparing TO
attack its prosecutor. I warned the
young man. telling him what to expect;
his sweetheart begged him to desist and
to come away. But he treated my warn
ing with derision, and told the girl that
he knew his business" Suddenly there
came a whizzing, whistling noise followed
by a sharp spat; the young wiseacre Jay
supine upon his back with his eyes and
forehead plastered with disgusting mix
ture of saliva, hay and mucus.
Il hate foolr' said the girl, as she
shouldered her parasol and walked away.
l saw them again in the monkey house
some time afterward but the man was a
changed being; he had learned his lesson
in decOrum; he had been taught modesty
by the good craftsmanship of the llama
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
street Car HumOr.

There is a conductor on the Baringee
street trolley line who mas recently made
some amusing mistakes in running his
car says the Philadelphia Record. He is
near-sighted, which explains one of the
incidents referred to. A woman who at
tempted to board the car had a plaster
paris image of a pug-dog in her arms. No
dogs are allowed on trolley cars, and the
conductor told the woman so, in the mean
time standing on the carstep to prevent
her from getting on. but it is only an
imta-" she started TO explain, but the
conductor would not listen and signaled
the motorman to go ahead leaving the
wrathful woman shaking her fist at the
receding car. A day or so after another
woman who was about TO board the car
asked: "ls this a smoking carr" mo, ma
dam" the conductor replied, with a de-
gree of courtesy that bordered on mock
cry, ITS the next car behind" Then he
gave the bell rope two jerks and went off
without the passenger.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

1t appears from a publication in a Mem
phis paper that the negroes who are being
taken to that city by the relief boats from
the flooded districts are inclined 20 make
a holiday of the occasion. They look upon
their visit to the city as a picnic. at
somebody else's expense. There is urgent
need for able bodied men TO work on the
levees, and the committees in charge of
the work offer good wages and free trans
portation 70 and from the threatened dis
tricts. But the negroes decline to go to
work. There is IN Memphis a relief fund
for the aid of sufferers, aud the negroes
hang around the relief depots and draw
rations as sufferers, but refuse to assist
in protecting the country from inunda-
ton, even for hire The Commercial-Ap-
peal very rightly, urges that rations to
such persons be discontinued. The negroes
are able to work. II is their duty to work.
at this time especially. If they refuse to
do so, they should be forced to shift for
themselves. II is misdirected charity to
feed them from the food sufferers fund.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
The MORNING NEWS is published

The MORNING NEWS is published
every day in the year, and is served TO
subscribers in the city. or sent by mail
at $lOO month, $500 for six months and
$500 for one year.
The MORNING NEWS by mail, six
times a week (without Sunday issue,
three months, 500; six months, $ioo; one
year, $500.
The WEEKLY NEWS, 2 issues week,
Monday and Thursday. by mail, one year,
$l.O0.
Subscriptions payable in advance. Re
nit by postal order, check or registered
letter. Currency sent by mail at risk OF
senders.
Transient advertisements, other than
special column, local or reading notices
amusement and cheap or want column 10
cents a line Fourteen lines of agate type
equal to one inch square in Depths
the standard of measurement Contract
rates and discounts made known on APP
plication at business office.
Orders for delivery of the MORNING
NEWS to either residence or place of bust
ness may be made by postal card or
through telephone No 2lO Any irregu-
lariIy in delivery should be Immediately
reported to the Office OF publication.
Letters and kilograms should be ad-
dressed MORNING NEWS" Savannah,
Ga
EASTERN OFFICE. % Park Row, New
York City, c. S. Faulkner, Manager.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
A Retroactive TnriG Bill.
rrom the New York post nndl.

There is nothing more unconstitutional
about making a tariff retroact TO April .
than there Is about making IL Tetroact to
May /. The trouble is that the only judi
cial decision on the subject points 10 the
scheme being Illegal The whole project Is
chiefly a scare. the idea of its promoters
being that II they can only brighten the
wicked importers badly enough, they will
stop importing pending the passage OF
the bill, and then begin importing like
mad as soon as Il Is slgned-result under
the Wilson tarlff, stagnation without rev
enue; under the Dlnglcy tariff, prosperity
With revenue. The reason why the second
rather than the first day Of April was Sc
lectod hardly requires explanation.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The promptness with which congress
passed an appropriation for the Mississippi
flood sufferers is to be commended. At
the same time, 1t seems that the proper
time to take steps TO restrain the floods
IS before the floods come. Hundreds of
thousands of dollars win be expended in
work upon the levees during the contin-
uance Of the present flood, and much OF
the work will melt away into the torrents.
The proba Utilities are that half Of the
money would pay for twice as much eff
fective defense work in times when the
stage OF the water is low. 1t would seem
that the Mississippi levees are TO con-
siderable extent in the category with the
roof OF the Arkansaw settlers cabin.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The Chicago municipal election will
be held next week. The indications now
are that Carter H. Harrison. the free sill
Yer democratic candidate for mayor. will
be successful The opposition 10 him is
divided into three parts. Besides the reg
ular republican ticket there are two indie
pendent tickets in the field. and the inde-
pendent tickets are so formed that they
will divide the anti-free silver vote with
III republican ticket. In al something
like 10 candidates are to be voted for in
the election. It will require about twenty
four tons Of paper to print the tickets,
which, II placed IN one stack, would form
pile thirteen feet higher than the Audi
torum tower. according to the chief clerk
Cincinnati will also pull OFF, a hot and
Interesting municipal tight next week.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

Anna Dickinson, once famous as a lee
turer and an advanced woman, after a
long period of retirement from public no.
tice, once more puts in an appearance.
This time, however, she appears as plain
tiff in a suit for damages against sundry
persons. alleging assault and battery and
false imprisonment. The suit grows out
Of her Incarceration in an insane asy-
lum in 1891 Miss Dickinson wants 100000
damages. The suit is on trial at Scranton.
ia.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

Senator Pettigrew has perpetrated his
bluff, about putting trust articles upon the
free list. 1t may be that there are persons
in the wlds of South Dakota who will be-
lieve that the senator was sincere in max
ing his proposition. But there are proba-
bly, none elsewhere. If there were the re-
hottest possibility that the proposition
would be accepted, Senator Pettigrew
would probably not have offered it. He is
a republican.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The Dirgley bill lays a graduated i'm
port duty upon tooth brushes equal to
about one-rhird of the value of the arti-
cles. And yet there are republicans who
say that It is not bill TO tax civilization.
Are the people to be forced to fall back
upon sweetgum and alder twigs?
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The matter with the arbitration treaty
seems to be that there is an inclination in
the Senate to insist that there shall be
ninety authors of the document, each one
impressing his individuality upon it. Some
of the older senators appear TO be willing
10 forego the pleasurable notoriety of col
laboration upon the instrument But 9TH
ers Of the old heads. and many of the
younger ones, decline to yield one jot or
title
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The steward of the white house says the
dolly Madison spoons" are locked up,
safe and sound, in his keeping. This ex-
plodes the vicious yellow journalism" ca
nard to the effect that Mr.. Cleveland had
ordered them melted.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
APertinent Query.
From the Chicago Chronicle DEM

If the foreigner pays the tariff tax on
goods OF which we produce much the
larger part of what we consume in this
country. as Mckinley assures us he does.
why should the people care whether the
tax is moderate or extreme? Surely they
cannot be anxious 10 cut the tax on the
foreigner down 10 70 per cent, when he
can Just as well be made to pay 100 per
cent. or. in other words hand us back in
taxes every cent he gets from us in pay
ment for his goods.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

The republicans will not be able to point
TO the increased customs receipts for
March as an Illustration OF the return OF
unbounded prosperity. under the McRin-
ley administration. Everybody knows why
the receipts were heavy. And heavy re-
ceipts during March mean very light re-
ceipts for some time after the new tariff
shall have become effective.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02
lNDEX TO NEW ADVERTISEMENTS.

Meetings-Landrum Lodge No. IS, +. and
A. NJ: Stockholders Of the Georgia State
Building and Loan Association.
Special Notices-Bicycle Given Away
July 4, r. d. & William baltimore; Bids
for Feed, City of Savannah; Notice to 5u-
perior Court Jurors: Irish Jasper Greens.
Amusements-The Mascotte and Mikado
at Theater. To-day's Matinee and To-
night.
Boys Knee Pants-B. II. Levy & Bro.
ropolitan Clothing Com
pany.
Steamship schedule-Ocean Steamship
Company.
Crescent Bicycles - Western Wheel
Works. Chicago and New York.
Legal Notices-Applcatio to Sell Real
Estate of Ellen f. Redmond. Deceased;
To Sell a Parcel of Land, Estate of a. c..
Timer Deceased.
Oficial-List of Liquor Licenses for
First Quarter, 1897.
Washing Powder-Gold Dust Washing
Powder.
Medical-Munyon's Remedies; SCOTS
Emulsion; Hoods Pills; Cuticura Rene
dies: Woman's Friend; Duffy's Malt
Whiskey.
Cheap Column Advertisements-Help
Wanted; Employment Wanted; For Rent;
For Sale; Lost; Personal; Miscellaneous.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-04-02

1t is understood that Judge w. r. Day.
OF Canton, O.. on able attorney and the
personal friend OF President Mckinley,
win go to Cuba as the personal represen-
tative % the executive. Judge Day puts
it thus: In the event that an American
attorney is sent to Havana to assist Con-
sui General Lee, l will take the matter
under consideration"