davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27
Odds and Ends

"Mr. burlington. hasn't any society
manners whatever" lis he awkward ?"
mo, but he doesn't like tea"
She-"My parrot says some awfully
clever things" He-"And who taught
it to talk?" ooh, did
Jenkins-"Had you any luck on. your
Western trip?' Jenkins luck!
The baby cut four teeth while I was
away
$50 it was a happy morning?" "Quite.
The bride was happy, the brides mother
was blissful, the count was in ecstacy,
and understand that his creditors are
in state of delirious joy
Johnny-"Pa, you said Mr.. Piper was
selfmade man, didn't you?" Pa
Yes Johnny-"Well he Amt" Pa
"Why do you think he isn't?" Johnny
Look at his red hair and freckles.'
Sageman-"That waters hand always
reminds me Of a race horse shortly at
ter the beginning of race Seeker
"And for what reason. pray?" Sage
man Because its on the quarter
stretch
Miss Parvenue Visiting BOSTON, I'VE
belong to very honorable family
Miss Beaconlite- "Indeed?' Miss Parve-
nue-.sYes, papa built an ancestral man
sion last summer at cost of $3.50, o00."
Ever have any trouble with your
WHEEL mot yet, said the sweet
young thing. 80 far, whenever ! have
run over anyone, have been able to get
away before he.,got up s 1.
4 .'tehiel seems to be kinder brea akin
don't you think" asked the neighb1b 't'r'
IIe,s Ioosin' sleep IS what's the matter y
With him, y Mrs aspn explai ned. He
Insists Oh setter, every night till 1 7
minute d
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27

THE man who said and did these
kindly things taught Stewart how to
write State papers. He was not only
master Of the situation in this country
but when England and France were
about combining to recognize the Con-
federacy he so won the admiration OF
Lord Lyon, the British Ambassador at
Washington, that that official informed
Lord Russell that he was in error when
he sent instructions to prepare the Coy
eminent for the recognition of the South
by England, and Lord Lyon afterward
resigned his Office in consequence of the
opposition to Lincoln. At that time
there was Russian fleet in New York
harbor under sealed instructions, to be
opened when France and England had
made their move, and the instructions
were afterward found to be command
to the admiral to report to his Excel
lency President Lincoln. (Cheers.)
'In writing to Archbishop Hughes be-
fore the war President Lincoln said that
he did not know exactly what title to
address him by, but he knew that the
see of New York was the greatest on
the Western Hemisphere, and he asked
the Archbishop to do what he could to
save the Union. He acknowledged the
part Archbishop Hughes played in this
field afterward in communication from
the Secretary of State.
Lincoln began his religious studies
and the formation of his religious con-
victions as he did everything else-by
hard work. He said his conflict with
evil made him glorify God and humbly
ask his aid. He was the author of the
saying that the Lord must have loved
the common people because he made so
many of them, and again when friend
said: i hope the Lord will be on our
side the President rejoined: I hope
we will be on the Lords side
The 'malignancy of the organization
now known as the A. P. A.. was exposed
by President Lincoln when he said: 1T
seems to methat the American party and
the Government are Numerically op-
posed to each other. That party seeks
to deny a. portion of the citizens the
right to which they aye entitled under
the Constitution. We began that by say
ing that all men are equal, and now they
are seeking to get in another amend
ment saying that all men are equal ex-
cept negroes and Catholics. When the
second amendment is added I want to
live in Russia in preference to this coun-
try"
when Grant was about to move on
Richmond ne called on the President for
advice as to whether he would allow
jeff Davis to escape or capture him.
Gen. Grant said that he could do either.
"'General', said the President, there
was an Irishman once who took the |
pledge from Father Mathew, and was
afterWard drinking lemonade with some |
friends. During lull in the CONVERSE
ton he Slipped over to the barkeeper |
and said: Couldn't you put a little
whisky In my lemonade unbeknownst !
to me-" Whether Gen. Grant took |
this as hint or not don't know, but !
Davis escaped. ::
ut is said that our. next war will be a |
social one May God avert that calami. |
ty; but if it does come I hope we shall |
find man who will say and act Lin
coins immortal principle: With malice
toward none. with charity for all, with
firmness in the right as God gives us the
right f" (Cheers.)
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27

Kill or Cure. Z.
Breaux Bridge, La, May, ~.
At 30 years Of age had the first attack OF Epi.
iepsy, after trying OF the best doctors grew
worse and gave up all hopes, when D friend gave
me q bottle OF Pastor Koenig's Nerve Tonic. Al
though had not the least faith in 1t, thought
xiii or Cure" and | am sure now that it didn't
kill but it is quick cure for, after using it only
days was great deal better and after using #
kmonths am well. n. Tcknair.
Worth its Weight in Gold.
Wooster, O., June 'e6.
was completely worn out with nervous ex.
haustioD, tried al sorts of doctors and medicines
without any benefit but the effect Of Pastor
Koenig's Nerve Tonic was marvellous, it restored
my health. The Tonic is worth its weight IN
gold.
"a W. North st. Mrs.. r. Device.
Certified by G. J. Krieger. Druggist
pNPr A Valuable Book on Nervous Dis
IN eases and q sample bottle 70 any 20
NH dress. Poor patients alsoEet the med
n11 tcine FREQ.
This remedy has been preparedby Reverend e.
Eoenie Of Fort Wayne, Ind, since 1876. and Is now
under hte direction by the
KoEMlc MED. CO.. Chicago, III
% 8. Franklin Street.
Sold by Druggists at q Der Bottle. 60e06
zarve Size, 5l.75. 6Bottles Tor %.
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27
PREMIUI1 OFFER NO. I.

To every subscriber sending ST. and all old sub
scbers paying their and year advance
will send together with the paper any the oowng article
FREE, postage paid:
Handsome Map of Ireland in four colors Size heav
Linen made from the latest Plates complete in every detail
Any of the following portraits life and elegantly finish
3D. and will be just the thing adorn the walls of home
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27
Father Mathew,
Archbishop ireland,
Robert Emmett,
Daniel o'conneaI,
Cen. p. RI. Sheridan.

Should you desire Of these pictures write for
terms We will furnh very reasonable ITO SUBSCRIBE
ERs ONLY.
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27
READ OUR new PREM

Until further notice the Publishers of THE IRISH
least money. but also the following premiums the terms
The Irish standard., 1897-02-27

Hbernians and the Daughters OF Erin which sell
Envelopes, printed with return address, per hundred
Financial Secretarys Register "a first class book
Recording Secretarys Book
Insurance Secretary's Register, (Best in the
United States)-
Treasures Receipt Books
Financial Secretarys Report Blanks, per hundred
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
One Truo Ghost Story.

This is a true ghost story of an uncon-
ventional kind. A young lady arrived
late at night on q visit to a friend. She
awoke in the darkness to find white
figure at the foot of the bed. While she
watched the betlclothes were suddenly
whisked off and the apparition van
ished. After an anxious, not to say
chilly, night, the visitor went down
with little appetite for breakfast. At
the table she was introduced to gen.
tleman, a very old friend of the family.
who had, she learned, also been sleep
ing in the house. He complained of the
cold. II hope you will excuse me-" he
said to his hostess, .'but found it so
cold during the night that, knowing
the room next mine was unoccupied,
took the liberty of going in and carry.
ing off the bedclothes to supplement
my own.' The room, as it happened:
was not unoccupied, but he never
LEARNED his mistake.-Sketch.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
HOMEMADE WATER HEATER.

square opening in the partition is tight
1y fitted a galvanized iron box, the wa
ter flowing freely out into this iron box.
Under this iron box small oil stove
is placed, admission being had by
means of small door in the front of the
trough. With tight cover the water
ii the trough can have the chill re-
moved very easily. 1t is especially im-
portant to- have the iron box as low
down in the trough as possible, so that
the water at the bottom of the trough
may he warmed, as we'll as that at the
top. If possible, then, let the end COM
partment extend below the main body
of the trough, SO that the iron box may
open into the lower part of the trough.
AS the water is heated, it will rise, and
the colder water from the bottom will
be drawn in, to be heated in its turn
Orange Judd Farmer.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

building, and though it is regarded as
more or less on probation the utmost
confidence in its success is expressed.
The work has attracted much attention
among friends of good roads all over
the country.
The brick road came by way of evolu-
ton. When hard road-building began
in the township four years ago it was
decided to expend the money on hand in
an experimental way. Monmouth
township has long been a sufferer from
bad roads. In winter the town had
often been completely blockaded by
mud too deep for wagons. Even with
in the town itself the streets were so
poor that at times the "bus" lines were
obliged to suspend business and bag
gage. Mail and baggage were carried
to the railroad station on wheelbar.
rows. The first road was completed
during the summer of 1892. Two others
were laid during the two years follow
ing. All were of broken stone, laid
with increasing excellence as expert
ence pointed out the weak points of the
first constructions. This year it was
determined to try the wearing qualities
of brick in place of broken stone. The
manner in which the roadway was laid
is described as follows in the Monmouth
Daily Review:
The ground was prepared for it by
grading and being allowed to stand for
two months. It was treated to an oc-
casional scraping so that it would pack
evenly, and when the contractors were
ready to lay brick it was as hard and
even as floor.
The first thing was setting the curb
ing. This was made of 2x6 inch oak
plank, set seven feet apart, and held
by oak stakes 1S inches long, and put
down every four feet. Inside this was
put five-inch bed of sand This was
evened up and the single course of No.
paving brick was put down. They
were set on edge, and make fine road
| bed. Outside the curb two feet of the
crushed rock was laid, graded up to
make an easy approach. This makes
road II feet wide. The earth on each
side was graded and worked, making
it all 40 feet wide and affording tracks
on each side for use in dry weather.
The average cost of the stone roads
has been 10 cents per foot. The brick
road cost $4,000 for 5000 feet, or about
90 cents running foot.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
IDEAL DAIRY COW.

She Is ROny and Muscular and Has Strong
Nerve Force.
Dairyman Gould in a recent lecture
gave this description of the "cow for
him.
"The ideal cow" he said, sis not
large; she weighs about 1000 poun is;
she is something like race horse, for
speed in the horse and milk in the cow
are allied. Beef in a horse and beef in
COW mean strength always. 1t is d
question of nerve power, and that is
something food will not produce, ,only
maintain. For the typical dairy COW
you must have race horse type, bony
and muscular, whether she be Hol-
stein, Jersey or whatever she may be.
You will find her with bony head and
strong jaw, long between the eyes and
nose, with broad muzzle She should
have very bright, protruding eye
[ want cow can hang my hat, on
her eyes Why? Simply on account
of her brain power. It means strong
nerve force, and that means action later
en-. l want thin neck and retreatins
brisket. The lines above and below
must not be straight, or she will steal
from you; want her slightly depressed
behind the shoulders, with sharp chin;
1 don't want too straight back bone.
She must have large organs of repro
duction-you don't want a cow with
straight back; I want her wedge
shaped. I want two wedges, large in
rear and large heart girth, i. g., wide
between forward legs, sharp on should
er. This gives me large heart action
and the strong arterial circulation I
want. Then last, but by no means
least, she must have good udder. for
one-half of the value of the COW is in
her udder. She should have long I'D
der from front to rear. Then she must
have a good handle on each corner of
her udder. And why? Because if
she gives two pals of milk a day it is
matter of some labor to milk her"
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
FARM AND GARDEN.
. BRICK COUNTRY ROAD.

One Has just Been Put Down In Nom
mouth Township, Ill.
The first brick country road laid in
the United States has been put down in
Monmouth township, Warren county,
Ill. 1t is the fruit of movement for
hard roads which has been going on in
the township for the last four years and
which has resulted in the construction
of a number of miles of broken stone
road and finally in the departure from
old methods and the laying of paved
way of brick. The road is the culmina-
ton of series of experiments in road
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
HISTORY REPEATING ITSELF.

Il am lonesome" said Susie to Robbie.
wont you go and play with me,
nave piay-house-a pretty playhouse
down under the old oak tree,
And my toys and dolls are all down there,
and oh! there are the prettiest leaves!
And Robbie, found two sparrow's nests
too-old nests that dropped from the
caves,
And fixed them up on some tiny shelves,
and oh! everything is SO nice!
Won't n.y. you go down there and play with
II you will. I'll kiss you twice.
II am lonesome by myself in the play
house,
And everything is 50 nice:
I think you might 60 play with me, Rob-
bic,
If you will. I'll kiss you twice"
Then with boyish contempt he answered
(she was six and he was eight,
don't care anything for your play house,
and the sight of dolls hate:
And your leaves and birds 9 nests are moth
ing II they do look SO pretty and nice;
So don't think 1 care to go with you, even
though you would kiss me twice."
Then her little lips quivered with anguish
and the childs heart swelled with
pain,
While the tears ran down the soft little
checks.
AAV 90" AIS tAeu answered again:
why, Susie, you know was joking,
Don't cry, little sweetheart, Sue;
Let me get my rocky horse and new toy
And 1'il play all day with you."
II.
The years had passed by all swiftly with
their medley Of pleasure and pain,
And ono day heard these low love words
Nv f1o 1o1
i am lonesome" said Robbie to SUSIE
won't you come and play with me?
nave built us a house, a pretty new house,
down under the old oak tree,
And tbs fixed all snugly and neatly, tits
cozy and cheerful and warm
IL you'n go III love you forever and pro-
tect and shield you from harm.'
II I'm lonesome by myself in the new house.
And 'tis cozy and cheerful and warm;
I think you might 60 and live with me,
Susie.
and I'll love you and shield you from
HARM"
Thon with woman's perverseness she an
swered the lovers plea OF the man:
Il don't believe IN 60 to your new house; I
really don't see how can.
And your neat, new rooms are nothing, If
they do look so cozy and warm:
SO don't think care to go with you, ever
though you would shield me from
Then the man felt the thrill of anguish.
the mans heart swelled with pain;
But she smiled as she looked toward him,
then softly answered again:
''Why, Robbie, you know was joking,
I am always your sweetheart true
Let US set the wedding day, Robbie,
And I'll go and live with you"
-Finis Garrett. in Nashville Banner.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
Mo-ro-Bae for F,sty cent..

Millions Of man who are daily Tobacco
Splitting and Smoking Their Lives AWay''
win be glad to learn that the makers Of No
To-Bac, the famous guaranteed tobacco
habit cure, that has freed over 4OO, ,OOO tobac-
co users in the last few years, have put on
the market fifty cent package Of their great
. chance to test BAGS power to CON
troll the desire for tobacco in every form and
at the same time be benefited by No-To-
bac's nerve strengthening qualities. Every
tobacco user should procure a fifty cent box
at once from his druggist or order1t by mail.
quickly the desire for tobacco disappears.
Any reader can obtain q sample and booklet
free by addressing the Sterling Remedy Co.,
Chicago or New York, and mentioning this
paper.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
Cranberry Pudding.

Take one cupful of new milk and one
rounding teaspoonful of baking pow
der. Sift the baking powder in -four
sufficient to form stiff batter. and add
a scant pint of fresh cranberries. Steam
one hour and serve with whipped
cream. Other fruit, like berries, may
be substituted for the cranberries.-
Hc usehold.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

A young Woman about to be presented at
court receives the fullest instructions as to
her behavior She is told how to dress; how
to manage her train: how to courtesy cor.
rectly. Every incident is carefully rehearsed
so that she may commit no blunder in the
presence Of royalty. If all this trouble is
worth while for the satisfaction of one brief
moment, how infinitely more important it is
that young girl about to enter into the
sacred precincts of womanhood, should be
properly instructed in all that concerns a
lifetime of possible happiness, or possible
misery.
Every mother ought to see to it that her
daughters are healthy and strong in wo-
manly way. She ought to make them aware
that any neglect or irregularity of the spe-
cial functions of womanhood may result in
lifelong weakness and disease.
cerning these delicate ailments, with the
utmost confidence to DR.. r. v. Pierce, chief
consulting physician to the Invalids' Hotel
and Surgical Institute, of Buffalo, N. Y.
Her letter will be answered free of charge
with suggestions for selftreatmenta at home,
by which these complaints may be overcome
without need of nortifying examinations.
DR.. Pierce has had over thirty years. ex-
perience in the treatment of women's dis
eases, and is an eminent specialist in this
particular field Of practice. His Favorite
Prescription cures completely and perma-
nently the most obstinate cases of feminine
weakness aud disease. It heals all infamed
conditions, strengthens and tones the nerve
centres and the entire womanly organism.
For prospective mothers and nursing
mothers, the "Favorite Prescription" is a
perfect strength sustainer.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
THE PRICE OF VANITY,
BY H. f. GRAVES.

In an exquisite boudoir Cecile Chet-
wynde was sitting, one stormy winter
night, languidly watching her rich
cousins toilet.
It was just such a place and scene as
Cecile loved; yet she was only here on
sufrerance-a poor relation, tolerated
with a sort OF grudging hospitality.
And Mrs. Framley, her wealthy cous-
in, was short, vulgar-looking woman
cross, ill-bred, ill-tempered and gaudi-
ly arrayed in ruby velvet.
How strangely things are ordered!'
Cecile could not help saying to herself,
as she caught a reflection of her own
cameo-like profile and aristocratic fig
ure in an opposite mirror. II should
have been the child of wealth; she the
toiler. But, never mind! will yet
compel Fortune to empty her golden
Golfers at my feet!"
"How do you like the red camellias in
my hair, Cecile?' Mrs. Framley de-
manded. mo, Fanchon, not the dia-
monds, you goose! The rubies, to-
night"
The trim little French maid trippcd
airily to the jewel casket to get out the
great crimson rubies, that flashed in
the gaslight like drops of blood; and
Cecile, leaning back in her shell-shapetl
chair, thought secretly that her Cousin
Barbara would look like scarlet
1lamingo in her intensely-colored velvet
and jewels, and complexion to match.
And so Mrs. Framley rolled away to
the ball in her softly-cushioned car
riage, well content with herself, and
Cecile started out of her reverie.
''You may 60, now, Fanchon," she
said, land you needn't sit up. have
letters to write, and I will attend to
Mrs. Framley's toilet when she re-
turns
Fanchon lifted her dovelike eyes to
Miss Chetwynde's imperially beautiful
face.
"Shall I not remain to arrange the
room, mademoiselle? she inquired.
"No, no, mol" Cecile answered, i'm
patiently. 'The room is we'll enough,
and I would rather be alone"
And not until Fanchon had vanished
did she lift the scarlet Indian scarf
which had fallen over the casket of dia-
monds, with a smile of triumph mant-
ling her exquisite coral lips.
II will wear them this once" she
murmured, to herself. "Harold Disart
shall see that can grace his wealth
like any princess. How they glitter!
how they sparkle! Oh, will the time
ever come when I, too, shall wear dia :
monds of my own?"
Swiftly and silently she hurried to
her own room, carrying the precious
casket of white velvet, lined with snow
pure satin, in her hands, and dressed
herself in tarletan and clematic bios
SONS.
And while Mrs. Framley fondly
imagined her young cousin was sleeping
peacefully at home, and poor .Fanchon
supposed her to lie writing letters, Ce-
cile Chetwynde was gliding through
the mazes of the redowa at stately
mansion IN Belgravia, with Harold
Disart's admiring eyes drinking in her
Hebe-like loveliness. while on her brow
and throat and marble-molded arms the
diamonds shone and scintillated like
threads and lines of fire.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

All fruit intended for long keeping
should be sorted carefully and handled
30 as not to bruise it in any way.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
FOR HEATING WATER.

A Home-Made Device Which Answers All
Ordinary Purposes.
A plan for warming the water for
stock during cold weather is shown in
the engraving herewith. One end of the
trough is partitioned off, and over 4
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
Moro Than Ho Wished.

Suitor-How much dowry will You
give your daughter?
Father-A thousand for every year
of her age.
"And what is that?''
"Thirty-eight.'
i. & I'm afraid that:s more dowry thar
I care for. ."-F1ie1ende Blsetter.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

The test Of good mince pie is that you
cant sleep the night after you eatit-Atch-
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
Now II the Best Time.

Fix the road when you can, for when
you can't you won't.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

WHEN bilious or costive, eat Cascaret.
candy cathartic, cure guaranteed, 10c, Csc.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07
Beware Of Ointments for Catarrh that
Contain Mercury,

0eW8Te OF O10CmoQCD 1OT C8C2xTA that
Contain Mercury,
as mercury will surely destroy the sense OF
smell and completely derange the whole sys-
tenn when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be
used except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians, - the damage they will do is
ten fold to the good YOU can possibly de-:
rive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure, man
ufactured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo,
O., contains no mercury, and is taken in:
ternally acting directly upon the blood and
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the
genuine. It is taken internally, and made
In Toledo, Ohio, by F. j. Cheney & Co. Tes-
tmonials free.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c. per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

When selecting scions for grating
large fruit treen get them from bearing
trees, H.: 5sEs 81 . f 5# Ss1fi IS 8
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

A COW giving = good flow Of milk
needs more feed than an ordinary COW.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

"C1v111zAT1oN is running my business, d
said the museum keeper. '"ihe supply Of
wild men is getting so low, I hardly know
where to look for them.'-Harper's Bazaar
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

"But, Fanchon. It must have been
your Who else should 1t be? Confess
auEkly, and tel me what You have
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

THERE are no excuses not to use st. Jacobs
Oil for bruises.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

TRUTH has nothingto fear from thefutur
Horn.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

GUEsT--.'This wine is really excellent! ~,
Host ito himself) )-''This fellow is either an
1gnoramus or he is the rascal who sold me
that wine. e."-Fnegende Blaetter.
The Worthington advance., 1897-01-07

BURNING, itching, frost-bite. Use st. Ja-
cobs Oil-cures promptly. Cools the fever.