The daily morning journal and courier. [volume] (New Haven, Conn.) 1894-1907, 1897-01-21
UNCLE SAM IN HIS YOUTH
HENRY WITTERSON'S BRILLIANT
ADDRESS ON THE TOPIC. "A.

Trade and Sparkled With Wit and HUI
mor-Beneath the Mirth Provoking
Shafts, However, Was a Presentation of
Serious Facts of the Trend of the Times.
New York, Jan. 2O.-At the board of
trade banquet at Hotel Waldorf to-
night, in response to the toast when
Uncle Sam Was Young" Mr.. Henry
Watterson said:
In these degenerate days, with their
deep, dark and dire contrasts-when,
not to be a millionaire is to be a
pauper-when, If a man cannot draw
his check for hundred thousand dol
lars he is apt to be in need of an over
coat-and on a solemn occasion like
this, it seems fitting-indeed, it is both
a privilege and a pleasure to revert
to the older and better days of the re-
public, when nobody had anything, and
when, as a consequence, everybody had
something.
To a gentleman who does not happen
to be pursued by another gentleman
with shotgun, retrospection may be
made both agreeable and profitable.
Here, however, we have abundant ma
terial for both restrospection and in
trospection, though we may not ex-
claim with the poet:
I'VE look before and after,
And pine for what is not.
because what is there wanting here for
any one to desire? After all, it is only
a matter of taste. l dare say the fluid
in these glasses is good fiuid-far be
it from me to utter word against
either the house that furnished the
labels or the patch that yielded the
turnips-or anything else in the neigh
boring friendly nation of New Jersey
but have an impression that-to-mor-
row morning at least-he among US
who has held closest converse with the
pristine period of liberty, log cabins
and hard cider-but not too hardf-Will
have best reason to thank God that
he was born on American soil, and
that he had the happiness and honor
to be a guest of the city of New York.
There was a tine-and not so long
ago, either-when matches-which are
now made so abundantly, not only in
heaven, but in Fashionable society
were unknown here in Gotham; cigar
cites, likewise-even though put on the
market by duke, though that is but
a bubble of words-whilst, so sturdy
and sincere was republican simplicity,
that the most ordinary tradesmen Sc
riously objected to having any earls
or marquises loafing about their prem
ises or sitting around on their cracker
barrels. You have changed all this
and in the direction of a more generous
hospitality, I must admit-for now
when a poor lord from Albion comes
fainting to your door, or even an
Italian count or a Russian prince-you
take him at his own valuation, and in
stead of a cold potato, he is likely to go
away with an heiress.
l don't object, L am sure; / don't OBJ
ject in the least; though l confess l
would much prefer to have the nobility
and gentry remain at home, happy in
their isolation and content with the la
dies of the drama whom we sometimes
send them.
When our delightful Uncle Sam was
young-which is not to imply that he Is
yet too old to whip his weight in Wild
cats-nobody thought about arbitration
or preconceived the coming of the great
secretary of state; the Bank of the
United States was located in Philadel-
phia; there was no such thing as a
trust or syndicate in all the land; and
the bloated bondholder himself was a
baby. In that idyllic period when a
friend called upon you, he scraped his
foot upon an iron projectile provided
for the purpose, knocked before enter
ing, and, in case he wanted a loan, took
off his hat as he mentioned the
amount
Behold the revolution which time has
wrought! The door-scraper has be-
come a sky-scraper;, and not infre-
quently should the friend in quest of a
pecuniary accommodation take off his
hat at all, it will be found to have a
bomb in it.
If all my life I have stubbornly,
steadfastly remained poor man I beg
that you will believe that there has
been a design under it. That I am not
a millionaire insures me length of days.
and will be a comfort to me when I GO
/ do not mean to be patronizing or to
look down upon anybody, far less to
despise any man because he is rich, but
If there be fellow creature for whom
I have a compassion it is that poor
man who hangs on fortunes favor, who
has to earn his livelihood casting bal
ances, forcing one stack of dollars to
chase another stack of dollars, and,
year in and year out, exhausting his
nervous system and wearing his fingers
to the bone cutting coupons,
I'd rather live in luxury and ease; no
responsibility and no care; eloquently
warning my neighbors of the dangers
of avarice and sin, like DR. Parkhurst
and Mr.. Roosevelt.
/ am myself man of peace. I had
my fill of war when I was young
enough to enjoy it. If, by grace of
God, and permission of Mr. Olney, we
may have another experience of that
kind I want to go into the quarter
masters department, or be connected
with the con1lnissariat But, if we are
not to have any more battles-if we are
to go on piling up riches-if, instead
of shouting with exultaion, behold our
Young barbarians all at play"
We are to felicitate ourselves in their
accomplishments as gentlemen of leis-
ure and pleasure-as amateur athletes
and professional r-givers-where