The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-03-21
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( FROM GIRLHOOD !
( TO MOTHERHOOD !
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A Series of Papers Containing Hints
and Helps For the Young Women
of Our Day.
By MARY LOWE DICKINSON.
Choosing or Being Chosen.

Al HrSI thought II might seem as il
for girls choosing were impossible. Nc
maiden, high or low, rich or poor, car
select from among her masculine
friends and acquaintance the man
with whom she feels she would be will
ing 70 pass the remainder of her life
Or, if she chooses, it must be silently
and secretly. She cannot make her
choice known to the object of her af-
Iectlon- Whether right or wrong, fair
or unfair, she must wait to be chosen.
| Inc power OF choice in her case simply
amounts 70 the power of rejection of
that Whlch rs unsatisfactory and dis
tasteful, While near her may be an
! other whose addresses she could re-
| celVe with pleasure, but who must be
lett to find that fact out for himself
among The rich or among the girls
/ whose lives give them abundant social
/ opportunities, the same rule holds. but
II does not bear with equal weight. The
/ ordinary social life is full of opportunf-
ties for indicating ones preferences,
which do not come into the life of the
working girl.
This favored and fortunate class are
sure also of a character of interest in
their matrimonial prospects on the part
OF relatives and friends such as is
rarely exercised in any helpful sense
by the immediate circle of the working
girl.
70 these girls seem to come few of
the heIpS ana all of the obstacles in the
way OF making happy marriages.
For the happy marriage must be
based on mutual affection, and mutual
ai1ection must depend upon mutual as
sociation.
And a girl whose days are filled with
Iaoor and whose home life is uraf-
tractive and unfavora BILE to the recep-
tlon OF her friends, and whose HOLIDAYS
are rare. cannot create for herself on
portunities for that knowledge of her
young men friends that is essential to
a choice OF the heart.
In thinking of the wonanhood of tho
next generation, we are apt to think
Oh tee fortunate girls as by far the
larger class. Statistics prove quite the
contrary.
By FAR the larger number of mothers
or the next generations will be the Girls
VINO are working out in one WaV or
own support. Nie-i
1t is for these one naturally desires
the power of choice
since we cannot give it them the
next pest thing is to consider how a
woman NAV choose for herself from
the limited number of suitors who de-
sire ro choose her. 1t is a boon in
deed 20 the womanhood of today that
she is not obliged TO become the wife |
OF the warrior who claims her from her
tribe as the reward of personal PROV |
ess and the prize of victory.
10 be sura. as things are in those |
uavs' the prize is carried off by the |
victor, but he must be one whom the !
woman herself pronounces to be the
successful knight.
II IS the woman who recognizes the /
coinpetltors who sue for her hand and |
heart. and it is she alone who shall de-
c cue VINO Is the successful champion.
sometimes girl makes a false de-
clslon because she has not the principle
ot righteousness TO guide her.
FOR. When the opportunity of selec-
tlon is presented, the tempter as an
angel of light" oftentimes whispers
evil counsel. And he speaks to the in
experienced girl of worldly advantages
10 be secured He shows her the golden
opportunities that the possession of
money ana leisure will give her. And
suggests now much good she can do in
the world If only she is set free from
the thralldom Of care and daily foil.
ana when the heart responds NO. I do
not love the man." the tempter whis-
oers, But you will when you know
llm better And she waivers in her
and puts of her decision.
An! what vantage ground the
empter has gained when the upright.
woman is persuaded to
marriage without love,
Oftentimes she palliates her indecision
oy saying to herself We'll. it is
rue that LIDO not love him. but he
owes mel" What a false argument to
plead, when the joy and success of hu-
nan hearts are at stakei The wear
md tear of everyday life test all that
S best in human nature under the best
II circumstances. And to make it pos
ible for your life to praise the giver
# life, it is essential that love should
eign in the heart
Certainly in the home the influence of
his all-powerful attribute should be
upreme.
What a dreary, desolate existence is
re endured without companionship,
ma without love in the hearts of the
nan ana woman who together build a
ome, there can be no genuine compan-
onship. Life must resolve itself into a.
nam, and its daily duties must link
themselves into a frightening chain.
hat drags the soul into untold depths
I disappointment and regret
Because a man loves a woman as a.
)Ver and believes that he can win her
loVe hlIl, is plausible. But that a
ian will continue to love a woman
fter marriage whose affection he has
OF succeeded in arousing before that
vent is fallacy.
Unselfiahness NAV exist. and it may
E cultivated to a large degree. But a
oman dare not count upon lifelong
eviction and ministry which knows no
eturn from her, who, before God, has
romised to love her husband
NO length of purse, nor beauty of
resS, nor social power can make up to
woman for the loss of her own self
.spect, and for the loss of her hus-
lnd's good opinion. And, to a good
oman who chooses for her husband
lie whom she Dretends to love and
res not, there must ensue the loss of
le sense of right, and this loss means
lilly sorrow, or else conscience be-
mes dethroned and selfishness mas
rs the life
No warning word can be too strong
its teaching upon this subject.
Better. indeed, the dinner of herbs
it'll love-" for human experience but
peats itself, and the only oil that can
poured upon the troubled waters of
imam experience is that of genuine
lection. Love knows no burdens"
It is glad to lift the weight of anxiety,
Id to strive for the increase of joy in
ose who welcome her to their hearts
ID homes. In sickness and in health,
r ministry is present, to soothe pain
to intensity pleasure. And in her
essence comma 1ionship is uninter-
pied. But, while a girl is unwise
a wron~ 70 marry q man whom she
es not love, she is not necessarily
her wise or right to marry a man
hQCS11Sn no Il