Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-09-16


being funny when he was in no danger
Of being found out.
BRUISED.
''What sort of impression did Clara's
young man make on you ?"
"When first meet him ?"
"Yes."
swell, he was scorching, with his
head down, and the impression he
made upon me was bruise 1 didn't
get over for a week"
COMBINATIONS.
The troubles of single man
Are less, it may be true,
But then he hasn't any one
That he can tell them to.
INJUSTICE TO HER WHEEL.
81 had my photograph taken with
my wheel, but had to reject it"
Wasn't it good one ?"
Eyes; mine was all right, but it
didn't do my wheel Justice"
Sprockett--I was proposing to her
when she told me that her father had
failed.
Wheeler-What did you do?
Sprockett-I back -pedalled.
A MEANING DISTINCTION,
Wickwire-That is rocky-looking
umbrella you are carrying, Nudge.
Is it the best you could buy
Mu1na-Jf 10 tho hast II aot111 uat
MERE BALLAST.
Skipper-Did We get the provee-
sions, Angus?
Angus-Aye, aye! A half loaf an
fouer bottles O. whiskey.
Skipper-An' what in the woarld
will we be doin' wi aal that bread ?
NOT IN HIS SET.
''Fudhams, do you know Scor, q ),
the druggist ?"
"Only in a business sort of way.
He is not exactly in our set, you know.
One has to erather careful how one
All, Scorjel, good morning. Fine day. I"
Eyes, it's a fine day. Mr.. Fud-
hams, would it be convenient for you
to pay me that SIS you borrowed about
six months ago ?"
NO BACKGROUND.
every man needs a wife to brighten
up the place."
eyes; but suppose he hasn't any
place.
NOT QUALIFIED TO SAY.
Wilton-Do you agree with David,
that all men are liars .
Wilby-How can / tell Just think
of the number of men that / never
saw
NATURAL MISTAKE.
The seashore boarder was accosted
in the dark lane leading to the hotel
by man with cleaning revolver.
Hands up p shouted the thug.
"Oh, / say, landlord" replied the
boarder, you're not going to collect
till my weeks up, are you 2"
OF THE SAME ORDER.
Midnight Burglar-Fork, out every
farthing you've got or Tll-
Jones (half awake)-Look here,
Maria, this is coming it too strong.
Didn't give you all l had when /
came home ?
IN sTATU QUO.
I must have been fool when I
married." said little Tompkyns, glar-
ing fiercely at his wife.
Certainly, my DEAR" said Mrs.
Tompkyns, sweetly; cit couldn't come
on SO badly all in two years, could
it ?"
LOST NO TIME.
"Miss Grabbs declares her girl
friends can't deny that her attachment
to that gentleman with title was
case of love at first sight"
THAT'S very true" replied Miss
Cayenne; "she saw him first"
EVEN PROPORTION.
Old Lady-This must be very
healthy place. Now, what may the
death rate be?
Grave Digger-Wonderfu steady,
wonderful steady. Just one
death to each person right along.
PRECIPITATE HASTE.
"Light out down there ?" yelled the
old gentleman from the top of the
stairs.
The young man below did not catch
the rising infection, and slit" with
out taking hat or stick.
MUTUAL BENEFIT.
''Did your husbands wheel-trip do
him good ?"
Eyes; and it did me good, too. I
didn't have to help him clean his
wheel for three weeks"
BOOMING.
"How do you find business ?' asked
the kind old lady of the man at the
back door with pail on his arm.
every things on the jump with
me. Could 1 sell You some frog
legs ?"
From Sheep to Clothes.
An interesting experiment has just