Omaha daily bee., 1897-05-30
FUN WHERE BULLETS FLEW
Army Humorists Who Could Laugh as Well
as Fight
Grim HUMoR ON THE BATTLEFIELD
General slocum and the OLD Grcnndtcr
ut Bull RUM shanEhaicd Re-
cruit from Canada aud Hts
Way of Getting square.

Here's to the comrades who made me
laugh" said the colonel at a campfire sym
postum where the topic had been the quar-
rels OF the nations and the breeding ground
OF the best soldiers, relates the New York
Sun. my fighting days are over and wars
and rumors OF wars don't rufle me. Let
Turk and Greek and Spaniard and Cuban
fight 1t out; but II ever Ireland calls for al
lies while I live she can count on me-for
one hired substitute.
"f 1t hadn't been for the exiles Of Erin
scattered through the army both officers and
men. l think more victims would have died
of melancholy and mental stagnation than
from confederate bullets. One of the first
recruits to join my company Of volunteers,
In 1861, was an 1rshman named 0'Gorman.
who said that he was an ex-grenadier OF the
British army; and probably he spoke the
truth thus far, for he was a camp model in
soldierly appearance, conduct and discipline.
His military salute would have done credit
to a member of the queens own, and. as we
had everything TO learn about soldering, /
naturally supposed that / had captured a
prize in Grenadier O'Gorman. His tales of
the part he had taken in the Crimea, at
Alma, 1nkerman and the Sebastopol redoubts
raised the question among us novices
whether this doughty Irish private or Colonel
Slocum, the trained West Pointer whom we
had selected to lead us, would cut the wider
swath through the southern confederacy.
The odds were heavy on the man with the
musket. or course l bet on my man, the
pride of company G. When the makeup
polish In which he presented himself at the
recruiting rendezvous got rubbed off by life
in camp, O'Gorman proved to be far beyond
military age. In fact, he was over so. Still
our faith in his proves was mistaken.
Bull Run came and our regiment ad-
vanced to within range of firing and halted
to reconnoiter the field. In a short time
occasional bllets began whizzing over the
line of battle from some point in the rear of
a wooded knoll a few rods behind us. With
out raising an alarm, Colonel Slocum strolled
back In the direction whence the shots came,
and, to his surprise, there stood the veteran
of Inkerman. sheltered behind a tree and
zealously firing ava bullets, with his rifle
held at an angle of about 40 degrees, so as
to bulk the missiles over the crest of the
knoll. As soon as he could suppress the de-
sire to laugh and properly control his voice,
the colonel gently hailed our model slaugh-
terer.
"'What are you doing here, O'Gorman?'
said he in a manner. as it proved, much too
familiar for the battlefield.
GIVING THEM FITS.
1.-THE veteran took no notice of the intru-
sion, but loaded and fired another shot with
out a turn of the head. The question was
repeated only to be again ignored. After
seeing the third bullet sent on it's useless
mission skyward, Colonel Slocum saw that
it was time to drop the role Of an amused
comrade and take up that of a stern COM
mander. Tapping the eager grenadier,
smartly on the shoulder, he called out in
his most martial tones:
" Private O'Gorman, cease firing and re-
port results to your superiorr'
Still, without turning his head, but with
a shrug that told Of outraged dignity, O'Gor-
man Strengthened himself, brought his piece
to a carry with a resolute bank. not for
getting his st. James salute, and answered
spiritedly: ~
'Twinty rounds. sir, I'm afther firing;
and, arrah, colonel, didn't I gev thin Sc
ceders fts?'
well. company C and its commander
never heard the last Of the Irish grenadier
at Bull Run, and soon afterward, by the
order of the colonel, our ideal warrior was
placed on permanent detail at the regimental
stable, and served his time out standing
guard over horsehesh, horse e~quipage and
forage.
THE boys missed the fun they had with
O'Gorman in the company bivouacs, until
another Irishman took his place. This was
a plebeian without the o. to his name. He
was plain Mat German. Mats idea of war was
that 1t gave a chance for fun as we'll as
fighting, and there couldn't be too much of
either for his liking. He was in every scrape
In the company and regiment, and even the
brigade. Soldiers are not saints, and the men |
l commanded were no exception to the rule.
There was many a raiding expedition and
foraging foray in the course of which va
rious kinds Of property belonging to friend
or foe got into the wrong hands. giving
work to the patrol to detect the offenders II
they could, and find and restore the lost
property anyway. This last they could often
do after a long search when it had been
taken from friends as a practical joke. Mat
had a cousin in one of the regular batteries
attached to our brigade, company D, Fifth
United States artillery. He spent a good
deal Of his leisure time with his cousin, and
became a well-known character to
the men Of 'Badthery D. as he
called it. Whenever the patrol came through
our camps searching for missing property
Mat was always in evidence, looking on at
the search. He kept a straight face, and
after awhile would innocently ask what had
been lost. AS soon as the plumber vas de-
scribed he would say: I saw that very
thing lasht night over in Badthery D.
Having put the patrol on the wrong scent,
he would give the tip to the guilty ones. with
whom he generally stood in, and the missing
property was transferred from place to place
In tho camp, and II the search OF our quar-
tiers got very hot the articles were somehow
to those Of Battery ID, to be
found and restored to their owner.
GLOOM AT ANDERSONVILLE.
Mat served his time out with me, re-en-
listed and finally got caught by the Johnnies
and taken to Andersonvhle. Then his fun
was over. He sank lower and lower, until he
could no longer stand up. One day a COM
from the town where he enlisted,
Binghamton, N. Y, went to see him, expect
ing that it was a goodby call. Mat could
not lift his head, and spoke but once. Said
he:
" It's all right, me bye, well get out o.
here some day. and when we are back In old
Bingimtum Wen just have one long spree to
make up for this?'
1T took him thirty years to drown the
memory of Andersonville. and then he died.
There was fun around headquarters, too, !
when there was an Irishman In the military !
'amily. General Slocum. after he became J
OF the division. had upon his I
staff an Irish captain whose very brogue
when excited was enough to c~onvulse a
funeral gathering. He was a good-natured, ,
fellow, a Mat German OF a higher |
ype. for he had graduated at Dublin col
ege, and a Bayard or a Roland in chivalry
md courage. The night after the battle OF
,ntietam, General Sloeum took charge Of h
he picket lines. which were In close con- =
act with the enemy. 1t was a solemn hour. =
often heard the general say that In all his d
.yDprianra In war ha npVpr know a limo i