Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1897-10-01
Al Eel Rsos 1hs, Catches EeIs.

In the early days of fall when thoughts
of fresh pork and the festive buokwheat
cake began to intrude upon the minds of
our merry Landlord, the village Smith and
his man Friday they did with the idea Of
bridging that trying season betweon the
summer vegetable and the winter meat
collectively conceive the idea of entang-
ling the wayward and slippery eels that
have been summer boarders in the upper
regions of Flat Brook, and convert them
to their own use and sustenance. As
elimination of much chin and brain work
a curious combination Of Stats and nails
was formed and they called it an eel rack
Then they did rest themselves Of their
labors in glad anticipations of the addition
soon to be made to their meat supply.
This eel rack marks an era in the eyolu-
tion Of this remarkable village and its
history will be found closely entwined
along with that Of the great and only Hon
est John in the back numbers of the
Gazette and PIKE COUNTY PRESS. The
first time there was raise in the brook
the clock work attachment. was wound up
the combination set and results anxiously
oNoibohs Dhb AiNVA0 was blhtD III bidb
night except what was thought at the time
TO have been some of "Boss" Kintners in
side arrangements that had got away from
him, and floated down the brook Some
imagined that they smelled not unlike
bad gin, or wicked rye whiskey, instead of
the regulation fish odor, and hence they
were ignominiously hustled out of the
rack. They were found to be however,
the "innards" Of an innocent, but defunct
sheep no, excuse me, lamb. Our butcher
never peddles anything but lamb you
know Well that nights work settled the
fact to the satisfaction of its builders that
the machine with It's combination set right
would catch cells. Frank now broke a
bottle of beer over its starboard wing, and
they named 1t the "Klondike'' because
they believed that everything that came
down the brook would turn to g, no eels.
Sure enough when the next rise came
Frank, Ed and Henry looked the thing
over carefully and wound it up. The eels
came in, the rack took care of them cor
reotly stamped each one with day and date
as certificate of freshness until six had
come in, when the alarm went of and the
cells went off too Ed had put them in
pail for safe keeping, but whether the
BOSS" beguiled them, or whether they
wrggled themselves into his confidence is
only known to him and them Be that it
may, on their return next morning and
taking the tip from the serpent in the gar
den of Eden, stood ON their tails while re-
porting pleasant trip TO the slaughter
house and that there were no burgulars in
the meat shop that night Ed got his
back up quite some at the loss of his cells,
the air just about him took on a blueish
tint with a sulphurous odor and his wrath
was trimmed with language to correspond.
But the cells came back as noted above and
calm sweet peace gently lowered over the
scene. Discussions however like the lurk-
ing serpent crept in. Frank as might have
been expected in due time got his back up
Henry had perhaps failed to fill his pre-.
scription and the air again took on a tint
of sulphur and profanity. Whether Frank
had received his due share of the "Bosses
interior arrangements, and the eels that
came afterward, deponent saith not, but
that Frank was dissatisfied was self eyi-
dent. He says to Henry, sez he, Though
have helped to build this wonderful rack
you can have the cells its catches in future
and be damned" To save Henry from
such an awful fate some unregenerate cuss
did go quietly that same night and fall
! with terrific force right into that eel rack.
There is gaping hole in the bottom Of it,
and looks as II a whirlwind had toyed with
its sides Whether Ed or Frank did it only
themselves may ever know. 1t must have
{ been some one used to falling over a
4 wheelbarrel or a cradle for they evidently
knew when they had fallen into 1t enough
! The gravity of the Offense is revealed in all
l its enormity when we consider that the
man who did it must be aware that II tho
Boss" again loses his "innards' this racl
is in no condition TO save them. Ed hal
) since gone to Washington to hear praise
service, and regain his religious -equilib
2 rum. Frank Is quietly doing penance In
white and red, with his brush and Henry
Is saying nothing, bud saving wood. Il
the quill gets to working right again ant
! we hope the burst will be repaired befor'
8 the next rise in the brook, we will tele
phone you as to how the rack behaves
s itself There seems to be an opinion gain
Q ing ground that If they could SO repair th'
8 rack as to catch some Of the Democratic
candidates floating around, It would Dc
: the Country greater service than catch
ing slippery eels II,