davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

H3st Month OF the Tennessee Cen.
tennfal and Industrial Exposltion.
The month of October closes this greatest
1T All Expositions ever held in the South, and
1cxt to the Columbian, the best eyer held in
this country. For the closing month, spe.
c!1l Attractions have been arranged, and
the rates from all parts of the country have
been made lower than ever before known.
The location Nashville, TerS is on the
nam line of the Louisville 4 Nashville
Railroad directly on its through car route
between the North and South, and the trip
IA either direction via that city can be
made - cheaply, if not cheaper, than via
any other route. Ask your ticket agent
for sates, or write TO G. p. Atmore, General
Passenger Agent, Louisville, KY, for rates
and information.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

I was evident T that b yss angry. and
passed under the scaffolding the painter
hourished his brush little too vigorously
and the result was disastrous
Look at that he yelled, indicating his
coat and making all sorts Of violent gestures
The painter looked at itsas requested.
"You have right to kick" he said, when
his scrutiny was completed. Its very I'M
even p;ece Of work. I won't charge You q
cent for it. Chicago Post.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

To Louisville and Eastern Cities. s. miles
the shortest from st. Louis, makes quickest
time, Pullman Sleepers, Parlor and Dining
Gers. All trains leave from St. Louis
Union Station. For complete information
address J. R. Tapp, Travelling Passenger
Agent, Kansas City, Mo. r. A. Campbell,
General Passenger Agent, St. Louis, Mo.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27
FARM AND GARDEN.
NEW MEAT FREEZER.
q successful Process Devised By ~
New Zealand Iuvenfora

= successful Process Devised By Twq
New Zealand Inventors.
One of the limitations of the export
frozen meat business, which has as
sumed such large proportions in Aus
tralia and New Zealand, is the liability
~ what is known as "bope stink" OF
decaying marrow. This trouble Is uni
versal and damages q great deal Of
meat. In hot climates it is found ex.
ceedingly difficult to freeze meat, as
the carcasses cannot be cooled entirely
Of the latent animal heat before pu.
trefaction sets in. 1t is also found that
u freezing is commenced before this
heat Is get rid of the cold on the out
size concentrates the heat inward ia
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27
CONTROLLING DEVICE.

now n Windmill May BE Regulated
with Perfect Ease.
Asimple, easily-constructedde device for
regulating windmill situated some dis
lance from the buildings is made az
illustrated below. Attach pole about
IL feet long to the side or end of the
building, 10 or more feet above the
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Yes, wake up to the danger which threat.
ems you il your kidneys OF Bladder are inact-
i've or weak. Don't ycu know that If you fail
70 impel them TO action Bright's disease or
diabetes awaits you! use Hoetetter's Stom-
beneficial effect upon the kidneys when
sluggish, and upon the bowels, liver, stom.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Who are injured by the use Of coffee. Re
Gently there has been placed in all the
GRAIN-O, made of pure grains, that takes
the plao Of coffee. The most delicate stom-
ach receives it without distress, and but
few can tell it from coffee. 1t does not cost
over as much, Children may drink it with
great benefit. Is cts. and Is cts. per pack
age. Try it. Ask for GRAIN-O.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

A Big Observation-Disclosures Willie
Yes; heard dat farmer paid his help jess
de same whedder dey worked er not; so
went ter work fer him." Sunset Sims-"An
played sick, / SUPPOSE" Weary Willie
"Yep-unti1 / found out dat he never paid
nobody; he wuz deadbeat. Puck.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Grocers and women are very unfortunate
people-they are compelled to please
through the stomach. The eye is pleased a
dozen times where the stomach il pleased
once.-Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Mamma, what is farcew "a farce!
Why, it is the way your father went around
ard watered all my dried-up plants the
morning after l got home. Detroit Free
Prezs.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

No man is too shiftless to feel little bit
romantic about bis marriage. Nv ashington
Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Mr.. Huggins-Im't Miss Roxy peach?
Mis-: kittishlYes, but she i not the only
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27
Self Evident.

Miss Courtright-What do you think Of .
man who will marry woman for money?
Mr.. Spooner-All can say is that such
fellow must be hard VI Cleveland Leader.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

No odds how little man does he like
to tell how he used to work.-Washingto
Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Rev. Mr.. Wilgus-"My dear friend, all
would be well if you would only avoid the
FIRST. drink: It is the first drink that does
the HARM" Mr.. Lushforth-'T dunno about
that; but it's fact that the first one doesn't
seem to do much good. indianapolis Jour-
nal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

When man is first converted he won
even quote the swearing of another.-Wa Fash
ington Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

When you investigate grewsone tale you
will usually find that it grew-some since Il
started Chicago News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Mrs, Scrappe Ny husband and agreed
the day. we were married to have no
quarrels." Friend Have you lived up to
it" Mrs; Scrappe well, have; but
don't think anything could keep John from
being ugly at times. "-Philadelphia North
American.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Fortify Feeble Lungs Against Winter
with Hale's Honey of Horehound and Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

- -
sicians and gradually grew worse.
About year ago was advised by .
friend to try Mrs. Pinkhan's Sanative
Wash and Vegetable Compound, which
I did. After using three bottles Of
the Vegetable Compound and one pack
age of Sanative Wash, 1 am now enjoy
ing better health than ever did, and
attribute the same to your wonderful
remedies. cannot find words to ex-
press what Godsend they have been
to me.
Whenever l begin to feclnervous and
III, ! know have never-failing ply
stefan at hand. It would afford inc
pleasure to know that my words had
directed some suffering sister to health
and strength through those most eD.
cellspt rsmsd:es. --MJss MAY sAouxg9,
ytoN + 1ieh ets cplpmbuD, q -
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Fond Mamma Bobby, Bobby, whatevss
makes you 70 restle.r Bobby Having
to keep still 20 much, I suppose"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

How accommodating some men are to
their wives when asked to do something
they are dying to do anyway.-Was hington
Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Carrying It to Extremes.-"A celluloid
Bible that can be washed has been invented.
It's for use in courtrooms." Next thing
they'll be inventing upholstered dictionaries
Tor small children to sit on at the dinner
table. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

| Sudden cold-soreness, stiffness. Promptly
Use st. Jacobs Oil. Sudden cure. Sure.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

A girl wearing an organdie dress thinks
she looks good enough to Washington
Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27
There Is . Dinerence-

. real difference, vast difference between
DR.. Bells Pine Tar Honey and any other
cough, cold or lung remedy. Besides cutting
the phlegm and curing the cough or cold at
once, it soothes the irritation-heals the
bronchials, and exhilarates the lungs.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Never strike man when he's down-espe
cially for loan.-Chicago News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

A Natter Of Fashion.
Doctor Madam, your husband asparaly.
Wife = Oh, doctor, I'm deliehtedl I
thought Il was nervous prostration, and
that's - common, you know.-Boston Trav.
eler
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

What nice companion fly makes after
you have had an experience with mosquito!
-Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

A man may wear extra sleeves over hi
shirt, without necessarily doing any grea
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Piso's Cure is the medicine to break m
children's Coughs and Colds.-Mrs. M. O.
Blunt, Sprague, Wash, March 8, '94.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27
Do You Play whist. Euchre or Othe
GamesY

The F. F. v. playing card is better than
any 50 cent card on the market. Send Is
cents for one deck or % cents for two decks
(stamps or currency to G. B. Ryan, Asst
Genl Pass'r ACT. C. 4 .. Ry., Cincinnati, o
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Some things are easily cured-ths
Worst pains by st. Jacobs Oh.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

You can tell the progress of the fruit 81.
..on by the stains on the tablecloth. Waah,
;ngton Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

The Missionary = Here! Hersl I'm
shockedl What are You two fighting about
The Combatants- Jonah an de whale
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

What Is il! Lame back. Use st. Jacobs Oh.
What is it now? Cured. Right.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

How man makes the telephone rattle
when he gets mad. but what little good it
does
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Untold wealth i thing well known T.
the tax assessor.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Dissatisfied people are, a . rule. loafers.--
Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

The people who really know what love
il are afraid to tell, for fear their knowl-
edge viii give away an unpleasant expert
ence.-Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

Law Student What are hsirs-as -,awl
- w = sse1.-N, :. JapyseI ~
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

To be Happy
or cheerful OF useful is next to an impossi-
bility when one il scGering from discom-
forting cold or nasty little cough. If you
are "down in the mouth" from the effects
of cough ~ cold, you will find your de-
light in the use of 25c bottle of DR.. Bells
Pine ar-H Honey. Druggists cell it.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-11-27

EAxu ~0~x~1
rw.st h;-
.anow .n5
--~-s.'s--11
w.stron-
hr,.s-s:.I
OA1A "2AH
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
EVERYTHING WENT WRONG.

Perhaps it was because l forgot my
morning prayer Or, perhaps, l got
out of bed on the wrong side" But
up to date l have attributed it to the
fact that l had worked beyond my
strength the day before, was all worn
out and unnerved, and having taken
a hot bath and gone to bed under sum-
mer covers with the windows all UP to
the middle, l took cold in the frosty
air. My head was aching and sore
and hot and humping. Every hair
was turned the wrong way and a dozen
of them pulled in different directions.
My shoes seemed to have shrunken or
my feet swelled. l put everything On
wrong side before or inside out. Ev-
erything was awry.
l had oversight in the first place,
having a most eccentric clock, one of
the kind of tantalizing conundrums
that remind one of the clock whose
owner said: when both hands are
at IL and it strikes 2 l know it is half
past T." The complicated calculations
from this basis at all other times of
the day are ~distracting, to say the
least, and make one long for !oga-
rithms or ANY other old thing" to
solve instead.
And so, it took me about three times
as long as usual to prepare for break
fast. BY that time my coffee was
cold, and my st. Bernard pup, with
the beautiful, large, liquid, brown
eyes, had surreptitiously appropri-
ated my steak at one gulp, and was
seated near my chair at the table, look
ing sweetly and waving his paw dep
recatingly at me, evidently intent on
making peace at once in order to OBJ
tain my coffee .spice-ball to top off
with.
l had planned to take a train to the
city scheduled. for 9:55, and having ten
minutes to reach the depot, as l sup
posed, | started out leisurely. When
half a block away | discovered I had
left my p~ocketbook at home. 1t was
another sign of bad luck to go back
for it, but there was no other way
out of it. Still, there seemed to be
pleHly Oh tlme. But, as L Sauntered
around the corner, l saw the train two
blocks away just pulling up to the
station. AS this was the only train
that would get me into the city be-
fore noon, and l had an engagement
to meet a friend at II to attend
church together | started on a run. l
caught the brace on the rear car just
as it began to nov forward, went
triumphantly into the car, and sank
exhaustedly into the first seat, just as
the train stopped once more. And as |
sat there for the next ten minutes try
ing to catch my breath, my heart
humping like a ~trip-hammer, and lis
tening to the milk cans as they were
banged out on the platform, and the
empty cans banged into the baggage
car, vowed for the hundredth time,
that | would never, under any circum-
stances, run for a train again. 1t is
a failing Of all ~suburbanites to make
his promise to themselves on every
opportunity, and break it again, next
time.
But l finally arrived at my destina-
ton and waited, and waited, and
waited" like the mine old maids" in
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
Shot Erred Fifteen Miles.

From twelve to thirteen miles, says
a London exchange, is the computed
range of the most powerful guns now
made, but the longest distance that a.
shot has been fred is a few yards over
fifteen miles, which was the range of
Krupp's 130-ton Steel gun, firing a shot
weighing $500 pounds. The Hilton
Armstrong gun also had an extreme
range of fourteen miles, firing a shot
weighing 1900 pounds and requiring
$50 pounds of powder; but quick-firing
guns are more depended upon at the
present day than guns with such ex-
IRENE length of range. Of %quick-fring
guns the most wonderful is, perhaps,
the Maxim, which can fire as many as
600 shots a minute, and yet is so light
that q. soldier can carry it strapped on
his back. Krupp's Bottom gun and
Armstrong; Hilton proved too expen-
sive, being unable to stand firing 100
times, and their manufacture has prac-
tically been abandoned. The gun most
favored perhaps is the twenty-two-ton
Armstrong, which hurls a solid shot
for a distance of twelve miles.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

shufied. The hats must then be hand
ed round, until each person is supplied
with a question and a noun. The thing
now to be done is for each player to.
write an answer in rhyme to the guess
ton he finds written on the one paper,
bringing in the noun written on the
other paper.
Sometimes the questions and the
nouns are so thoroughly inapplicable
to each other that it is impossible to
produce anything like sensible poetry.
The player need not trouble about this,
however, for the more nonsensical the
rhyme the greater the fun. Sometimes.
players are fortunate enough to draw
from the hats both noun and question
that may be easily linked together. A
question one drawn was: why do
summer roses fade?" Fhe noun drawn
was butterfly" so hat the following
rhyme was easily %concocted:
Summer roses fade away,
The reason why l cannot say,
Unless it be because they try
To cheat the pretty butterfly.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
AND JETSAM,

1t is said that there are more bust
ness women in New York this yeal
than last.
There were 1,472 twins and q trip.
lets recorded as having been born il
Massachusetts last year.
Motor ears capable of drawing three
wagons carrying ten tons of produce
are about to be introduced into Liver,
pool.
What a small mind Mrs. Venlynnt
has, Naturally. She has given hel
husband so many pieces of it."-Lon,
don Tit-Bits.
Missouri ranks first among the states
in the production of poultry and sec.
ond only to Ohio in the extent of iti
egg product.
The Savannah News commends the
bill in the Georgia legislature for th'
protection of 'possums, and says tha'
unless it is passed 'possums will soor
be extinct in the state.
1t was the belief of Livingston thai
nearly all lions are "left-handed." HI
watched them closely, and when the,
desired to strike a fierce blow they
always used the left paw.
A female highwayman described al
"of herculean proportions and of ex
traordinary %bravado," is holding tn,
roads between Brussels and ANTWERP
and attacking solitary houses.
General" Booth thinks Lots wifi
must have had some Scottish blood il
her veins, judging from her reluctance
to pack up and leave her native cit,
without thinking over the matter.
Pinyons, the edible pine nut found il
some parts of the Southwest, hav,
been of more value to the Navajo In
dams of Arizona this year than wa
their entire wool crop of last season.
Thankful Tatters-Dey say dem der,
Eskimos is awful ~peaceable fellers
Leigh N. Rest should t'ink de,
would be. Jes' fancy gittin' thirty day
where de days was tree months long!'
Truth.
A local paper says that the Smitl
College girls get much innocent an,
healthful enjoyment by begging ride
on wood teams, and the farmers of tina
section never before found their bust
ness 30 pleasent.-Ex.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
A STATES WAGER.
How Lord Randolph Churchill wo,
HIS Bet.

HIS Bet.
The late Lord Randolph Churchill
was scarcely less famous as a wit and
joker than as a statesman, says an ex-
change. His colleagues in the house
of commons were oftentimes the vic
tins of his pranks and many a good
STORY in which Lord Randy" figures
as the hero is still told in parliament
airy Hobbies. One night while Lord
Randolph was conversing with several
friends in the cafe attached to the
house a question arose as to the time
it would take a pedestrian to cross
Westminster bridge. Different opin-
ions we're expressed but no W of the
disputants were able to agree. AT
length Lord Randolph, who had been
a silent auditor of the discussion, Of
fered to wager that he could cross from
the MiddleseX to the Surrey side OF the
bridge while Big Ben" the great bell
in the clock tower of the parliament
buildings, was striking the four quar-
tiers and the hour of IL. The wager
was accepted by one of the members
of the company, and it was arranged
that at the hour named witnesses
should be stationed at each end OF the.
bridge to watch the performance. A.
few minutes before midnight a select
party of well-known statesmen was
seen to emerge from a little door near
the speakers quarters in the parlia-
ment buildings and stalk sedately
across the bridge. At the farther end
the party paused and was soon sur
rounded by a curious throng. Several
other distinguished legislators soon
afterward appeared and politely re-
quested passers-by to keep to the left.
Just as Big Ben" began to strike the
first quarter, the 1.-THE figure of a man.,
wearing a top hat, a frock suit n
white spats was seen to leap out OF a
little group of men on the Middlesex
side. Some waggish friend raised the
croy of stop thief and in a jiffy half
a score of wondering men and boys
were fast on the heels of the doughty
Splinter. A policeman hearing the cry
and observing the fleeing man started
in pursuit. AS Big Ben" continued
to clang, the pace grew hotter and hot
ter. One by one the pursuers began to
fall away, but the big policeman hung
grimly to his task. When the center
of the bridge was reached the quarters
had been rung and the great bell had
already begun to strike the hour. A
cheer arose from the watchers OF the
Surrey side, and Lord Randolph, who
had until then been running up an in
cline, now had the descent in his favor.
A few moments later the painting po-
liceman came upon his man, SURROUND
ed by admiring friends.
whats up" suffered the breath
less and bewildered "booby."
1.-TWO strokes to spare" puffed the
victorious Lord Randolph.
The officer stared, blushed, apollo
gized, wiped his brow and went his
way.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

There are many frog farms in the
United States and their owners are all
reaping great profits, for there is al
ways a demand for the delicious hind
legs of the green jumpers. The best
variety to cultivate is that which is
known as the grass frog. THE grass
frog" says an authority, " is big
enough for market in six months after
he's Matched, and on a piece of marshy
land fenced in and stocked would give
a good crop every year. The bullfrog
has to be a polywog for a while, and
he loses time, so that he isn't fit to eat
for a couple of years. But the grass
frog isn't a polywog. He is Matched a
regulation little frog from an egg, and
all he has to do is to grow" Prices, he
says, will average about 40 cents a
dozen the year around
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25

From the San Francisco Argonaut:
Here is an amusing instance of British
class formality: The lady's maid of
Mrs. Benevolent was stricken down
with typhus fever, and Mrs. Benevolent,
having a great liking for the maid, de-
clared she would nurse the girl her
self. This she did, through a long ill
ness, and after her complete restora-
tion to health the maid was asked to
resume her duties. Her answer was an
expression of gratitude for the kind
ness and care she had received, con-
Guiding with the sorrowful regret that
l shall not be able to return into your
service, as l cannot engage myself to
one who is not a lady, and, of course,
no lady would have nursed me and
waited upon a servant as you have done
in my case"
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-12-25
AS TO CO M ETS.

AS comets near the sun their velocity
always increases.
Newton calculated the velocity of the
comet of 1880 to be $50 900 miles an
hour.
The orbits of comets are inclined at
Newton circulated the velocity of the
earth.
The paths or orbits of owe n hun
bred comets have been determined pos
itively.
over one-half of those whose move
.ments can be followed from east
Ito west.
In ancient times people believed that
comets were the f~orerunners of some
idireful calamity.
Brydone rated the speed of the COM
,et he saw in ITO at two and a hall
millions of miles an hour.
The number of comets that have ap-
peared IN the solar system is %variously
estimated at from $50 to 500.
The word comet" is derived from
the Greek, meaning hair, and has ret
erence to the tail, resembling flowing
hair.