The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-09-18
DooLEY ON LUETGERT.
The Philosopher Is Somewhat Con.
fused by Court Methods.
Chicago Post.

chicago 1OSI.
Anything new?" said Mr.. Hennessy,
Dooley to put down his newspaper.
I've been r-readin tn testimony Nv tn
Lootgert case" said Mr. Dooley.
What dye think iv it?
..l 81 think So" said Mr.. Dooley.
How do ] knew?" said Mr. Dooley.
How do / know what 1 think? I'm no
condemnation iv chemist. DOCTOR psychologist,
poiisman an sausage maker that can give
We an opinion right off tn bat A man
needs to be all iv thin things to detarmine
anything about murdher trile iv these
days This shows how intelligent our
methods is, as Dorsey says. A large Ger
man man is charged with putin his wife
away into breakfas' dish an he says he
didn't do it. Tn on'y question thin is Did
or did not Alphonse Lootgert stick Mrs L.
into vat an rayjooce her to quick
lunch? Am 1 right?
we ARE said Hennessy.
That's simple enough. What the coort
ought to We done was to call him up an
say; Lootgert where's ye'er good woman
If Lootgert cudden't tell he ought to be
hanged on genral principles, FIR a man
must keep his wife around tn house, an
whin she isn't there it shows he's a poor
provider. But If Lootgert says, L don't
know where me wife is. the coort sh'd say.
Go out an find l., her If ye can't projooce
TIL ind iv it.
But what do they do? They get Loot
grt into v c00rt and stand him up befure
thin to make pitchers v him. Thin they
summon a jury composed iv poor, tired.
sleepy expressmen an tailors an clerks
Thin they call in a professor firm a coll
ledge. Professor says tn lawyer FIR tn
state: i put it to .ye, if wooden vat 800
if 800 pounds iv caustic soda boiled, an if
the leg iv a guinea pig an you said yesther-
washes up an washes over an the SHINY.
slippery stuff an if a false tooth or a lock-
~ hair or a jawbone or golf ball across
the cellar eleven feet nine inches-that is
two inches this way an five gallons that?
I agree with we entirely says the profis-
scr. made de-, lab,ratiDry experiments in an
will call soup stock an coal tar which
will call 1r'n filings. mixed tn two over
/ thin packed 1t in ice, which / will call
glue an rock salt, which I will call fried
eggs, an obtained dark. queer solution
that is a cure f'r frecl1les, which I will call
sntimony, or .doughnuts or anything I
blamed please
But says tn lawyer f'r tn state.
measuring tn vat with gas-an' / lave ii
to We whether this is not tn ony fair test
an supposng that two feet acrost is akel
thick green an hard substance, an dare
say 1t wud an supposing you may, takin'
into account tn measurements twelve be
eight, tn vat bein' wound with Irvine six
inches firm tn handle and a rub of tn
green, thin ARE not human teeth often
ter SAYS tn profissor. 'But th' sisymoid
bone is sometimes seen in tn foot, some
times worn as watch charm. / took two
Sisymoid bones, which l will call poker
dice. an shook thin together in clyin-
der. which I will call Fido. poored in a
can of milk which l will call gum arabic,
took two pounds iv rough-on-rats, which
1 rayfuse to call, but tn raysult is tn
same Question be tn coort: Different?
Answer: 'Yis' TIL coort: 'Th' same?' Be
Misther McEwen: Whose bones?' An
swer: 'Yis Be Misther Vincent: Will We
go to tn divvle?' Answer: 1T dissolved tn
hair
NOW. what / want to know is where tn
Jury gets off? What has that collection iv
pure minded pathrtes to larn fr m this here
polite discussion where no wan is so crool
as to ask what annywan else means?
Thank tn Lord, whin tn case is all over
tn jury'll pitch tn testimony out iv tn
window an consider three questions: Did
Did his wife look as though she ought to
be kilt? Isn't it time we whit to supper
An, howiver they answer, they'll be right,
an it'll make little diff renee wan way or
tn other. TIL German vote is too large
an ignorant, anyhow"