Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1897-11-04
OFFICIALS WE'RE HIS GAME

Ihere was hardy fellow named
Bronston who lived in a shack ON a
desert just at the edge of the Wyoming
hunting grounds, who had reputa-
tlon Tor being as hardy with his fists
as the next conner. Bronston had an
especial desire for the dude" hunters.
end 1t was his boast that in q fair en-
counter he could best anything wear
ing good clothes and carrying fifty-sev-
en- pounds of vareigated ammunition.
He was kept fairly busy.
The hunting grounds, despite the
! presence of BrOnstOn, became more
popular year after year, until finally
ne had to be little more select in his
operations, as there were altogether
700 many visitors to allow him time to
do the whole lot justice He finally
! announced that in the future he was
going to whip nobody under the rank
OF colonel in military life and no.
| body who in civil life wasn't at least
a mayor of a big town or a president
| OF railroad. By following this plan
he succeeded in filling his time with
out overworking himself. He was
uniformly successful until one day a
party stopped at his ranch and an
nounced themselves as eastern tourists
Dent on doing some elk determination.
They asked if they might stop over
night with him.
Gentlemen" said BronstOn do il
happen that there's q gineral amongst
! your"
NO, there didn't happen to be.
! "A judge mebbe, or a vice. resident?Y
There was not. 1t was an unofficial
| party. The only man with anything
approaching an official designation was
young fellow who was Portuguese
consul in a seaport town down east.
He wasn't native of Portugal him.
self-just a plain American citizen,
who had been appointed to the place
| because he had the time to attend to
the few duties.
"Concernin' a consul" said Bron-
ston refectiveIy, 81 don't know. l
never herd of SIGH. Doubtless mebbe
it's responsible an honorable job"
He was answered that ii was.
Well" he suggested "mebbe he'll
! do. Come out here in the yard gentle
men, an the exercise will begin
Thy had no idea what was coming,
but Brcnston explained briefly and the
young man seemed perfectly willing
to take his part in the melee, though
the Others, terrified, tried their best to
argue BRONSON out of it. The desert
claim settler made a rush at his VIC
tim and found that he wasn't there.
He had carefully stepped aside, and
as the mountain fighter Numbered past
him the consular hit him on the ear.
Then the Portuguese representative
followed up his advantage, and, leap
ing upon the PROSTATE BRONSON, bat
tered his head against the ground I'm
til he had worn hole in the hard
soil. He picked Bronston up az
threw him out into the road, and then
went out and threw him back again.
The Portuguese consul, it may be re-
marked, had spent the better part Of
his life learning how to box and
wrestle, and this was his first oppor-
tunity to let himself out
In an hour Bronston came back to
life. He YEARLY looked about him
and said: Gentlemen, did O. dozen
or two supreme court judges sneak up
while I wasn't 1ookin' and tackle me?''
He was told that no such thing had
happened.
''P'r'aps it was a state legisl3tuTe"
No, it was just young man who
was a Portuguese consul.
He drew a sad sigh. Il wouldn't "a
believed it." he said Il had more
confidence in the institutions of this
lord freedom Of ours. To think that
man who has licked governors and
states attorneys and sheriffs an con-
gressmen should be whOoped till he's
half dead by furrier that can't talk
the langwidge of his own furrin coun-
try! Gentlemen, they amt no use
bein' patriotic no more; the republican
form OF gov'ment is crumblin', an
she's goin' to fall. Dog it all! | beat
the daylights out of regular United
States senator wunst, an here / am on
the broad of my back with two ribs
broken by an emissary of despotisn.
The games over, an the United States
of America amt got chip to cash
in."-Chicago Record.