The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-07-25

| There is no excuse for anyone to be hap
Ply now when watermelons are so cheap
that the poorest can over-eat.
If the powers protest too much against
our annexing Hawaii. we will become rear
ly filled with desire to annex the island
| Mark Twain will spend the winter In
Vienna. Thus we see once rich and tai
ented man reduced to perjury and want In
his. old age.
The new plumbers trust has for its CEN
tral idea the purpose of gradually reclaim
| ing the world from the hands of the Stand
ard OIL company.
The assumption that Mrs. Lease as gov
ernor would wipe out the saloons should
not be confused with the idea that her hus-
band runs drug store.
! People contemplating setting out for
Klondyke will find It to their interest to
| buy out wholesale underwear house and
take it along with them.
! The chainless bicycle Is to come next
year. and being incapable of eating oats,
| the new horse will also be deprived Of his
| regular diet of trouser-legs.
The Turkish forces have begun to evac.
uate Thessaly and the Greeks can now get
out on the street corners and feel their
muscles and look ferocious.
The recent discovery has been made at
Topeka that the Prohibition law is not en-
forced in Kansas. This will almost drive
the Proh.bitionists to drink.
Latest message from Andree: '7-A-'97.
North Pole Tell Mckinley that things are
looking up here. Am standing on the pole
and can't look any other way"
One of the dangers in going TO Klondyke
is that you may become immensely rich
as Fair did. and precipitate your future
children into an endless contested will
fight.
Il
is the private secretary of Edhem Pasha.
An Internal machine came 20 Edhem the
other day and the secretary let Edhem
open 1t himself.
Mr.. Depew says that General Miles made
q good impression while IN London. Miles
will not realize how he pulled the fringe
of once ornamental reputation until hs
gets back to America
1t will be noticed that Debs makes no
motion towards klondyke. There is no rea-
son for him TO go to Alaska when he can
remain right where he is and pan out dol
lars from poor mems passions
Even IL you starve when you get 10
Klondyke you can have the satisfaction
Of knowing before you die that the fellow
who digs your grave will get fortune out
Of the dirt that comes from the hole.
An Omaha man has just completed the
first set OF bag-pipes ever made in this
country. Ii is TO be hoped he improved
on the old article to the point where the
wind in passing through will be subject 10
less torture.
John c. Carlisle is afraid Mckinley will
merge the country into socialists des-
potsm." We do not know what this il.
but It is no doubt better than merging /;
into a private purse for the relief Of Pier
pont-Morgan.
It has been discovered tha, the light OF
a freely IS nothing more or less than
Roentgen ray. This can be tested by
swallowing a cup-fuu OF the bugs aad it,
wiling in your friends TO see the workings
OF your system.
Dave Leahy: 4 little girl O: Lawrence.
who wept because Bryan was defeated las;
year. IS now filed v.;h JOY She has re-
oe.ved a pretty Letter f:ou1 Mr.. Bryan.
thanking her fer her sympathy and ex-
pressing the hope TIA; sac Viii be On the
winning side in 1874 Like R-chs,.eR. BEys1
knows the value OF the Friendship OF
youth.
Tie big war VIII come shortly Righ;
no.th OF KloRdyk@ is ne NoTta Pole. /
consists Of ,he great Co-d.lisrAs lo5e stick
ING out Of the ice Tbs minute Azdrss
reports i viii be claimed By England. Rus
So ire United States, Sweden. NORWAY
s.id China and a grea; coasss; wia susue.
The secret now beng os;L 2; might as well
De confessed for Professor Dyeae tat h.s
neteoFlte n Alaska Is nothing less than
az immense go.1 Nugget