The times., 1897-05-23
ALICE IN HOODOOLAND.-IV.


| little shcp near by, where spectacles
were sold. The shopkeeper, somewhat
testy old gentleman, seemed TO lie having
an alteration with various persons, who
were trying to climb over the counter and
investigate his stock
Il tell you, he was saying, Indignantly
''these glasses are alright, andapproyed by
the authorities. The President him self
uses them. use them myself"
81 know it," replied the Rabbit; that
Is why ycu can't see anything Now, my
glasses'-he adjusted pair of natty eye
glasses upon lis nose as he spoke, and
glared defiantly around-'.are good for
something
"You are shortsghted," said the shop
keeper, pettishly.
Il can see through a hole In mill
stone, though" said the Rabbit, land you
can't even see the millstone"
There Is no milestone here" said a
Llild voice, and Alice saw the little man
who had been arguing with the Fox had
come up. Nobody is talking about mill
stones There are plenty of spygIasses
for those who wish TO use them What is
the reason for all this fuss?"
''The matter is that there are frauds be-
ing praeticcd on the publicr' exclaimed
round, rosy individual in the costume of a
Knight, with little prance. Alice knew
he was Knight, because she had seen her
Uncle Sam play Chess with his neighbors,
and she suddenly perceived that great
crowd of chessmen had now gathered be-
fore the shop, and thatthe little man who
had been arguing with the Fox was very
much disturbed The King and Queen were
trying to keep order butthey could not do
much, because the Knights hoped about
so unexpectedly, putting themselves in the
way so that the King had TO dodge: the
Rocks refused to help the King at an be-
cause they only knew how to move in
straight lines, and even the Pawns SEEM
ed to have ideas of their own.
"You are spelling my game" the little
man exclaimed, quite piteously; my pretty
game, that | wanted so to win. It was
real Napoleonic strategy, and now don't
know where L am or what / am going
to do"
We'll; did all could" said the Queen.
sulkily.
'orderl orderr' exclaimed the King,
pounding very hard with his seepuer, and
hitting two or three Pawns over the head
Atu tuuit fdNc SOue On anu IiHlSHe0
your game, and you can now. if you will
play according to rule said Bishop.
gravely. But we can't play unless we can
see tie board and know how TO move"
Well, here are the glasses " said the
shopkeeper, what more do you want?"
Alice hadniean whileinvestigated the stock
and had picked up a pair of glasses AMI
pocket hinocular which the shopkeeper.
IN his agitation, had left ON the counter,
and had found that bits We're neatly pasted
over the glasses of the spectacies, while
the spyglasses seemed to be filled with
some white substance She did not wonder
very much that the stock was very un-
popular.
Il believe" said one of the Knights. tan
fellow with a breezy manner and an ex-
pansive smile, that you've stuffed those
spygalsses with sugar"
mo such q thingr' said the shop
keeper. Indignantly.
"At any rate, they're no good" said
the Rabbit; land, now, what are
you going to do about 1T? This great In
ternational chess game has got to De fin
ished somehow"
II move we go on and finish yourselves"
said one of the Knights
"Pshaw. what do you know about
chass7" Sneered the shopkt eper
"A good deal more than you do IL YOU
believe in going il blind" said the round,
rosy knight disrespectfuuy Come on,
boysl It's checkmate in three moves, and
that fellow in the Napoleon ha didn't know
It. I'll tell you why he didn't. He wears the
administration glasses, and If we hadn't
Ia ken things into our own hands the fel-
lows on the other side would have made h is
moves for him. He'd never care. Come on,
boysi CheckI Checki
We have been in the business all our
lives, and we know something about it."
said the Bishops. both together. and the
whole crowd disappeared around the cor
ner.
Alice followed, guided by the sounds
of blows, trampling and tumultuous cheers,
but by the time she got there the fight was
over, and the enemy was nowhere to be
seen.
''Oh. but we chased 'emi- said the
round, rosy knight, with a reminiscent
chuckle.
They don't know it yet." said the Rab-
bit in a low tone to Alice, but they're
not really chessman any more thauI am"
And in fact the chessmen were fast taking
on much less wooden aspectthan they had
worn when Alice first caught sight OF
them. They held up their headsand talked
less Ike monographs and more like peo-
pie. Two or three pairs of broken glasses
lay about, and some sugar was spilled
out of the telescope, but nobody stopped
to pickitup The Queen sat apart under
tree, looking very sulky; and the King
sat beside her. They evidently felt that
their power was In danger. Presently
the small ma n in the Napoleonic hat came
up and began to talk to the Queen in a
low, comforting tone.
Il don't care" 4 lice heard the Queen say,
'if the house isn't kept In better order III |
get divorce. III take my money and 90 |
home, and then where viii you be?"
Hannah, Hannah" said the King, don't |
say that The houseis going to be in order. |
Just give me a little timc''
I'VE would If W. had it, said the Queen |
and the small man together, ''butwe haven't
a minute TO spare. And it's no use asking |
Them for any"
Alice did not-un derstand this dill emma, but |
he could not feel very sorry for any Of the |
parties concern ed.
BALFOURfS IRISH SCHEME.