Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-12-02
Falling Down Stairs.
ONE OF ARTEMAS Wards FA-
VORITE JOKES.

The BOOknldn has an interesting ar
ticle on Artemus Ward, dealing a
considerable length with his expert
ences in London. When he made
his first appearance in that city hi
enriched his programmes with 8
note explaining that he would cal
citizens at their residences and ex
plain any jokes that they did no.
understand, and it iS said that there
was reason enough in such an offer
in view of the fact that John Bright
the eminent statesman, was reported
to have remarked after attending
one of the humOrist's performances
I" must say | can't see what peo.
pie find TO enjoy In this lecture. The
information is meager, and is pre-
sented in a desultory, disconnected
manner. In fact, l can't help seri
ousiy questioning some of his state
mentS.D
Artemus Ward was fond of tell.
ing stories and jokes at his own ex.
pense, and he had a habit when upon
the lecture platform of purposely
laughing at his own awkwardness,
but he had one experience that he
mover referred to. During q part OF
the time that he lived In Cleveland
he lived at q fashionable boarding.
house on Seneca Street, and was in
the habit of cutting up all sorts of
capers there, to the amusement,
sometimes, but as often to the con.
sternation, Of the other boarders,
most Of whom looked upon him as a
half-baked fool"
One of his favorite Jokes was to
scare women nearly to death by pre-
tending to fall down stairs. The
parlor where the boarders ccr~re-
gated was connected by larg. arch
with the hall, where the stairway
was, practically making one big
room Of both. Every time new
ooarder or a stranger happened to
be present, Mr.. Browne, as he was
known around the house, would
cough at the top of the stairway to
attract attention, then pretend to
Zip IN something and then go tum-
bling headlong downward, always
managing to catch the railing and
thus escape injury. The women
would, OF course, yell and make a
great fuss over him when he picked
himself up, and he would generally
manage to get off some droll remark
that would set everybody laughing.
But this sort of thing got tiresome
after a while, and day some OF
the men boarders decided to stop it.
A young lady had just arrived at the
house, and it was foregone conclu-
sion that Browne would take his
customary tumble at the first oppor-
tunity. So, promising the landlady
that they would have things properly
repaired after the trouble wac over.
the Joker's enemies sawed the spin
dies in the balustrade almost in two.
leaving the rail so that a slight
wrench would break it loose.
That evening all the boarders con-
gregated in the parlor, the newly ar
rived young lady, who had been let
INTO the secret, among them. They
didn't have long to wait for their
victim. In passing up to his room,
browne saw that stranger was
present. and after making his toilet
he started to go down stairs. He
coughed loudly several times while
passing through the upper hall, and
then, when he saw that everybody
was looking at him, stumbled and
shot out into the air.
But when he grasped the rail of
the balustrade there was sharp
crack, followed by crash, and the
man who af'terward became famous
as A. Ward, lay stunned at the bot
tom of the stairs, with a skinned ell.
bow and bleeding nose.
That ended the stairway joke, and
Browne soon moved to another board.
ing-hOuse.