The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1897-03-03
A COSTLY KISS.

A petit jury has just returned yer
diet against Missouri jay In ina sum
$4,000 for "tisius woman agalns,
her will" Here's pretty Kettle Of
ash Whom asked to osonlate Wo-
man invariably declines, She roslsls
pressurs aud says "pleRse donr-eNon
threatens 10 scream How is n fellow
10 know whether she means i, or Isl
merely making grand stand play
Not every mau IL a mind reader A
fellow hates to overlook bet, aud be
voted vRriegated ohump by q wo.
mau, who has had her mouth puckered
for him for week yet If he swoop'
down upon the sweetsass ike
drunken humble bee rihAg q red hol-
Iy-hook, his pleasure 10 mArrad by Wis
lens Of damage suite aud public rldl-
Guile. That must give us pause and
leave half OF the country to 20 ungalh-
cred. Five thousand dollars for one
kiss-when the miserable usher has
coolies of 'em In stock, which she was
wasting on other women aud cohtky
kids, 1t doesn't look right. Five
lhousSnd-and we dent know Wheth-
er he placed it where it would do the
| most good, lost il among her bang
| ns IL the custom Of big brothers, or
slid II down her neck la the heroo-
of The stage. 1t is not even slated
whether he snstChed 1t on the fly
ike man reaching for a railroad
lunch, or took half hour 10 let the
ywceness soak in. | have not read
| the evidence submitted TO the court
md know not upon what the plaintih
bsscd her plea for dsmHses-Whethei
| II was the kiss per SO or the manner IN
which the goods were delivered that
constituted the casus belli | rather
suspect, however, that the defendent
wore mustache through which he
bad beon straining lager beer and
mock turtle soup; that be grabbed
| plaintiff like boy al country lar
| ssIZes the sheat unused her hair, de-
ranged her ribbons aud crumpled her
dress, only 10 leave on her larboard
cheek, \ red spot smelling Of plug to-
| bacco. brilliantine aud booze. Under
such circumstances a woman should De
| awarded million dollars and Instruct
cd to collect it with f shot gun. The
| Missouri verdict isa dangerous pre-
cedent, no doubt still the man who
knows exactly how to kiss a pretty
woman will seldom get iuto court,
| Due preparation should be made Tor
sacred rite by calsomiuing the teeth
sand papering the chin aud dislnfect-
ing the breath. "Then catch your
hare" Lead her out into the deWy
garden about / l p. nj, and watch until
the neon slides behind cloud. Then
slip one arm around her tspcred waist
and draw her gently but firmly to
veur brliket. OF course she will muir
mer adon't," but don't mind Tilt her
chin at an angle of fOrty-fve degrees
mot suddenly as though you were
irving 10 crack her neck but adroit-
w, imperceptibly, DoU'I be ia hurry.
| Give her time to wonder what is go
ing to happen next. Be sure that the
| bull dog is tied and the cid man is
comfortably settled for tae night. A
| fellows nerves must DO in good con-
dition to really enjoy Elisa Nows
yeur TINA. Don't pick at the pcreim-
aon like Shanghai chicken picking
up corn, but settle down on her lips
| ike q carrier pigeon coming home to
roost Don't be in & hurry. She wants
to call you "naughty man." threatens
10 "telI ma" but don't give her
chance. "She'll forget it if you only
keep her mouth otherwise engaged un.
til tho moon pops out from behind the
cloud. Of course she'll say you were
the first man that ever kissed her-but
YOU amt. She'll protest that she is
real angry but she'll not sue you for
damages. She'll be too busy look
ing for another cloud to even think
about the courts.-Brann's lconoclast