davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
FOR CUTTING STALKS.

Homemade Continuance That Does
Its work Wen.
A cheap stalk cutter is made by talk
a sound log, A, about feet long and
IS to "a inches in diameter. Blades of
steel, B, 3 feet long and inches wide,
edged as in sharpening a pillow, are Sc
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
EEy Onu THUr.

where are you going, my pretty maid?'
"Oh, ask me noti' she gasping cried.
She could not tell, for the pretty maid
Was just beginning to learn to ride.
N Y Truth
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
The Muse Was snfe.

what do you think of that effort of
my poetic muse?" asked the poet, after
he had read some verses.
II believe the muse can prove an
alibi," answered the truthful friend
Brooklyn Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Deep.

She-Your friend is certainly hand
some fellow and, they say, very deep
one.
He-Any man who was shallow could
never hold as much as he does.--Detroit
Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Patient WI

In the surgical ward to a nurse 1t occurred
To ask of a patient, a sufferer new.
/ OF morphine or chloroform which he pre-
ferred,
And he answered her softly that ether
would do.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

Crabshaw-I suppose it is because she
has to pay for it herself-N. Y. journal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Other PeopIe,s Money.

Mrs. Crabshaw-Do you know, my
dear, why woman is always more care
full of her wedding dress than of any
otbaro
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
The LnevitabIe consequence.

Miss Gush-What do you suppose the
result would be if we could hear what
our friends say about Us in our alb
sence?
Miss Canter-I think we'd have 4
trifle more modesty and considerably
fewer friends.-Brooklyn Life.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Intoxicating Tree sans.

Intoxicating liquors have been made
from the sap Of the birch, the willow,
tie poplar and the sycamore.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

Cobble-Sadie Slimson is polite, isn't
she2
Somehow so?
Cobble-Last night l asked her TO
take the big chair, and she said: After
you."-Puck.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

Guaranteed tobacco habit cure, makes weak
men strong, blood pure. Soc, 81. All druggists
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Already Perfect.

Don't know-no money on either
de."-Chicago journal.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

Blobbs-Of course not; l have your
word for it that you're self-made.-
Town Topics.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

Educate Your Bowels With Cascarets.
Candy Cathartie, cure constipation forever.
10c 25c. If C. c. C. fall druggists refund money.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Educate Your bowels with cascarets.

Candy Cathartic, cure constipation forever.
lOc. 25c. II c. c. @ fail, druggists refund money
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
To Cure Constipation Forever.


Take Cascarets Candy Cathartc. 1Oc or 25c.
II c. G. G. fail to cure, druggists refund money.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Her Taste.

Parkinson says his wife buys hi,
ties, and they are never worn out"
THAT explains it"
Explains what?"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
No Excuse Mt All.

'They quarrel all the time. How on
earth did such pair ever come to mar
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

To Cure Constipation Forever.
Take Cascarets Candy Cathartic 10c or 25c
If c. c, G. fail to cure, druggists refund money
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

Dobbs-You can't make a monkey of
moi
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

why he never wears them out. His
wife buys them. Cincinnati CONNER
-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12

"Mother's Friend is the greatest remedy ever
put on the market, and all our customers praise it
highly."-W. H. KING & Co., whitewright, Tex.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-08-12
Don't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life AWAY.

.Up-to-Date.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

In spite of solemn and repeated warn ings thousands of adventurers have gone to the Alaskan gold fields who will in all human probability face act ual starvation. The penalty that men will pay for sudden wealth does not stop short of life itself Incongruous as 1t may appear, men will barter health, position, the most ordinary com. forts and decencies of life, and will even run the risk of actual starvation and death for the mere hope that sud- den wealth will be their portion. New and untried countries fill up rapidly on every report, exaggerated or otherwise, that sudden wealth has fallen to the lot of comparatively few. There Is a lurking hope in the breast of every one | of the successors of these fortunate ones that similar luck will be his. For that mere hope they will barter every thing that makes life worth living, and will, unfortunately, as was proved by the trail of sun-bleached bones across the continent in '49 and successive years, sacrifice life itself in the mad on rush for sudden wealth. The KIon- dike gold discoveries are full of promise to the active, the vigorous, the strong and well prepared. They are also sin ister beckonings to suffering and death to the merely adventurous, the weak or the ill-prepared. It is passing strange that the experience of their fellows has but little deterrent influence on men when the craze for sudden wealth has developed into passion. The world can only wait and hope that the devel- opment of the Klondike gold fields will be accomplished without the ghastly sacrifice of human life that at this writ. ing seems within the probabilities.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
AsIeep for Three Months

Local physicians are puzZling over the strange illness of Abe and Adrier Mover, two sons of Keya Paha Coun ty farmer. It is thought that both lads are suffering from some form of nerv. ous complaint. It manifests itself however, very differently in their re- spective cases.
 Abe is about 19 years old. For four months he has been unable to sleep more than four hours in a night. His health has suffered little, but he is very irritable, and, in the opinion of the doc tors, he can not long stand the strain without losing his mind. There was no premonition of his attack except ex- treme nervousness and a tendency to- ward insomnia.
 Adrien is only 14 years old. For a long time he required more sleep than does the average boy of his age, and a few months ago he began spending six teen or eighteen hours out of the twen- ty-four in bed. Now he remains there altogether. For the last three months he has not opened his eyes more than half dozen times. On these occasions he evidently only partially awoke, spoke in drowsy tone, and within fif- teen minutes lapsed again into unccn- sciousness. His food is forced into his mouth in liquid form, and a very lit tie seems sufficient to satisfy him. Darnell correspondence of Chicago Record.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
Pig that Likes Fowls.

Harry Magill, farmer who lives on Pigeon Swamp road, near Bristol, is the owner of one of the most remark. able pigs on record. Piggy is months old and Is retriever of the most pro- nounced type. He will find birds shot in manner equal to the best setter or pointer dog and do many other things such as sportsmen delight to see. Piggy, however, will chase, catch and devour live chickens with an ayidity never equaled by the most voracious FOX or weasel ever heard of. When he selects a victim in the shape of a barn. yard fowl for his meal he starts in hot pursuit and never gives up the chase until he has his victim within his jaws MT. Magill stands ready to match his pig against any other pig in the conn try as a retriever, but does not guar. antee that the porker will not make meal of the game.-Philadelpbi Rec. ord
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
She Sold 5000 Stories.

The death of Mary Kyle Dallas, o1 New York, was a shock and a sorrow to host of friends and admirers. Fol many years she was a contributor tC the New York Ledger, at large salary and also wrote short stories for Lippin- colt. Latterly her work has been seen in the daily papers, and her essays on women for the American Press Associa- tiOn commanded wide attention.
 Mrs. Dallas was a member of Sorosis, the first vice president of the Woman's Press Club, and a prominent member of the Hidden Hand Club, whose pur- pose Is to expose the fake advertise ments, which prove a snare and a delu- sion to unsuspecting women. Mrs. Dallas was tall, with a beautiful aris- tocratic face and stately bearing, while her manner was so gracious and her acts so kindly that she endeared herself to all who knew her.
 She was 50 years of age, and began to write at the age of s, when she com posed play that was produced in her fathers kitchen. In 1888 she estimated that she had written and sold at least 5000 stories and as many sketches WOman's Journal,
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
CODied the Emnrfas-

A certain peasant and his wife 1T Germany were, we read in CasselPs Journal, married on the same day as the Emperor and Empress, the peas ants Christian name being William Their first child, boy, was born on the same day as the Crown Prince, after which they had five other sons, each O! whom was born at the same time as the five younger boys of the Emperor.
 The royal couple were informed ot this, and were exceedingly interested in the very strange cOincidences, but this interest was intensified when, on the last occasion of a royal birth namely, the little daughter of the Elm peror-it was learned that the peas ants wife in question had also giver birth to a daughter on the same day. Sc astonished were the Emperor and Elm. press that they stood as godfather and godmother to this little girl, and havf we'll provided for her future.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

An interesting discussion is going or
 in some of the leading periodicals con
 corning Machiavelism in international affairs. In other words, are fraud, ly. ing, dOuble-dealing, violence and hypoc, risy, although to be condemned in the individual, allowable in the dealing of nations one with another? A lucid writer in the Chicago Evening Post in- dicates MT. Frederick Greenwood, the noted English publicist, as the cham pion of the affirmative of this question. According to him "To save the state you may do anything a wild beast may do-never mind God or devil, sentiment or words" While men in society are bound to observe certain moral stand ards, in order to maintain the social fabric, the various states are, in their relation to each other, "still in a state of nature," and it is absurd to demand of them any other conduct than that of beasts and savages struggling toward the survival of the fittest. But it seems to the pulpit that the gist of this matter lies ill this: That, while both nations and persons are alike under the moral law, the rewards and punishments of the former are slower than the judg- ments upon the latter, and from this alone the shOrt-sighted find a reason to think that governments are not re- sponsible. But, although the mills of God grinds nations slow, they grind them exceedingly small; although pun ishment may tarry it is more striking when it comes. The past is strewn with the wreckage of nations who de- spised or forgot righteousness and were brought low.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
Hints on Carving.

To carve loin of veal or mutton be gin at the small end and cut the ribs apart. A fillet of veal should be cut first from the top, and in a breast of veal the breast and brisket should first be cut apart and then in pieces.
 A sirloin of beef should be placed on the platter with the undercut under heath. Thin-cut slices should be taken from the side next the carver, and then turn over the roast and carve from un- derneath. A portion of both should be helped.
 4 leg of mutton should be carved across the middle of the bone first and then from the thickeSt part until the gristle is reached. A few nice slices can be cut from the smaller end, but 1t is usually hard and stringy.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

"GeneeatiUns or human history teach the painful fact that society can have | all the beeCats she is willing to feed.
 As emotional giving must be put under
 the ban, so equally must political giv- ing be put down. More than $10,O00,-
 GOO every year is spent in what is known as outdoor relief" by the hands i of public officials. It is not too much 1 to say that this enormous sum, in the bulk, is not only wasted, but tends to
 create and perpetuate a pauper class in
 almost every community" These are the statements of an expert, Rev. Sam uel G. Smith, professor of sociology in the University of Minnesota, and they were made in the course of an address delivered before Civic Philanthropic conference. The should be pondered by every thinking person who doesn't wish to go on through life encouraging and supporting pauperism, and doing society inestimable harm. The man who gives to the street beggar blunts the spur of poverty. He creates a de- mand for pauperism, which begets pauperism. If the public shuts down on emotional street giving it will abol- ish street begging, and the able-bodied who drain the charity that should aid the helpless, will go to work. Then, if the charitable institutions are properly supported, the deserving will get more and better help than they have ever re. ceived in this city before.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
Rewards of Public Service

Senator John NJ. Thurston, of Ne
 braska, after two and a half years experience as a member of the United States Senate, has announced his in tention of retiring to private life at the close of his term. Senator Thurstor gives two reasons for his determine. tiOn-the inactivity of the Senate, and the poor reward of public service. If MT. ThurstOn remains in the public ser. vice, he says he must make up his mind to life of petty drudgery on an income of five thousand dollars a year. Being ambitious and not being superannu. ated, Mir. Thurston is dissatisfied with this prospect. Speaker Reed, who is poor, takes the risk of losing his law practice and the chance of earning a livelihood at his profession, when he accepts reelection. Mir. Reed is actu. ally out of practice now, and he keeps in touch with his profession only by reading law in the vacation of Con. gress. Many men have left the Senate at the end of eighteen or twenty-foul years of service without the means O1 earning a livelihood, and two of these, former members of the Senate, were cared for by the last administration which appointed them to welI-paiC Federal positions.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

A London writer who is disturbed at seeing so much money going to the United States, complains because the great English colonies do not supply England with what wheat is required It does seem as if Canada, Australia and India ought to be able to feed the mother country, but since they do not it is difficult to see what the mother country can do about it except to con- tinue, with what grace 1t may, to be an American market. America, it may be sure, will cheerfully go on furnishing breadstuffs so long as the price is forthcoming.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

Persistent newspaper readers about this time would infer that half of crea- tiOn was bent on disappearing. There seems to be quite an epidemic in that line of human irrespOnsibility. If lad Is displeased with his home, off he goes into space, apparently, and the way young women vanish off the face of the earth is miraculous, until the police dis cover them. Wives step out, and do not return; men-and this is not so singular disappear by the hundreds, and their relations and families have to make the best of it. If many reasons for this were not known, or guessed at, one might suspect that mankind was losing the gregariOus habit and felt the need of solitude, of isolation. At all evnts trammels, whether domestic or social, have evidently got on the nerves of great many people, and to them the one remedy is to disappear.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

The isolation which has been a fea- ture of farm life is gradually passing away as the country districts have be- come more thickly settled and railroads have been built Farmers wives now have their reading circles, and alto gether country life is exchanging its primitive aspect for one of comfort and convenience. The latest suggestion to lessen the loneliness Of farm life is by means of the telephone. It is said that already in Kansas q number of ranches are connected with each other in this way. Cheap wiring is used, in many cases the barbed wire fences serving.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

One of the recent extensions of the use of electricity is in conquering 8 balky or lazy horse. A Western Penn sylvania gentleman owned a horse which he said was worth $1,0OO, pro- vided he could cure him of baking. It was suggested that he try electricity. He purchased a three-volt battery and connected it by wires with the bit and the crupper The battery was placed in the road-cart to which the horse was attached. At first the horse refused to move, but stood with all four feet braced. Then the owner touched the button connected with the battery. When the horse felt the shock he snort ed. jumped, and began to move off at a lively pace. Every day for week he was given the same lesson. His owner (who does not care to sell him) declares that now he never balks, bites or kicks. The West Pennsylvania Humane So- cietr. which investigated the method, came to the conclusion that a small amount of electricity used upon horse was more humane than a whip.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

when proprely made the pumpkin Die ID tue embodiment, so to speak, of peace on earth and good will to men
 NO man ever plotted treason or formu- lated dark and damnabIa dosians %nne ming his system with genuine New England pumpkin pie. Other pies may induce dyspepsia and the horrors or nightmare, but the genuine pumnkin pie may be eaten at the dread bour of midnight without tremor of fear. If
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
A Great Idea.

Cumso-Tenspot is getting rich on { brilliant idea of his.
 Cawker-What is it?
 Cumso-He has copyrighted a mar riage certificate with a transfer blank on the back, and he can't begin to sup ply the Chicago demand.-Truth.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

Postmaster General Gary is very pro- nounced in his views concerning the in- troduction of government postal banks. He says: "Postoffice savings banks would help the other banks, and they would constitute one of the greatest in- centives to patriotism. Give a man an interest in the government, and he is pretty sure to take deeper interest fin it."
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

A novel idea in vacations has been adopted in Boston. The firemen there are allowed annual vacations, and the commissioners have decided to send every horse owned by the department out to country pasture two weeks ev- cry year. A new era for horses is com ing fast.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

pertinent in popular government. If those reformers who are so disgruntled with existing political conditions that tbev can see nothing hopeful in the sit nation. nothing encouraging in the out look, will compare the elections of very recent years with those of quarter of a century ago they will find no food for the nurture of pessimism.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

The New York Sun says concerning woman suffrage: ''There are no eggs laid in a hen-ruled barnyard." But the Sun probably will be fair enough to ad- init that there are no eggs matched in a barnyard tenanted exclusively by roos- ters
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

The London Lancet says there is an absolute pathological identity in the symptoms of alcoholism and of the condition of one madly in love. In both cases, that high medical authority re- marks, separation Is a cure. Here Is material enough for three-volume novel, but 1t would not be very roman fio
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

That an Italian prince should accom- plish the remarkable feat of ascending Mount Saint Elias may affect our coun- try's history less than the arrival of a single Italian immigrant at the port of New York
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
ExDIaiued,

"I've been told that my piano playing is heavenly" she explained with par. donable pride.
 That must te because it's done in thG top fiat,' suggested her neighbor.-Chf cago Post.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

Matelotes and other stews of which rabbit is supposed to form a part are being summed by Parisians since the rabbits innoculated with miscellaneous disease germs were stolen from the Aubervilliers laboratory. The police say that they have traced the lost rab- bits, and that all were eaten by Auber- Vllllers people, who, as yet, have shown no bad effects.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

With regard to Klondike and gold seekers being frozen to death, some will remember in other late get-rich- quick schemes how many were laid out cold.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
Subterranean Hot Water

In some parts of Paris a penny may be dropped in slot and supply of hot water obtained. Boise City, Idaho, will improve on this idea by piping into it's houses water of ITO degrees from a subterranean lake 400 feet beneath the surface.-St. Louis Globe-Demicrat
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

As a rule the relations between the press and the pulpit are amicable, as they certainly ought to be, for they have no conflicting interests. In many places there is cordial cooperation be- tween these great forces. The preach CTS have begun to realize that a good newspaper is the best channel of com munication if they desire to reach great auudiences.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

The London manager of one of the chief accident insurance companies is said to have stated that his company would not insure lady cyclists on any terms whatsoever.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

The wise use of prosperity promises to be practical subject for the study of the American people. We are great, but the great may be overwhelmed by their resources. The last of the great auks killed himself by swallowing too large a potato.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

Two men in Korea have been caught cOunterfelting copper cen pieces and the local courts have sentenced them to Ie hanged. Jast what the Korean peo- pie do with man who eounterfeits a whole dollar is probably too horrible to confecture.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

The population of the town of Tomb stone has declined from 10000 to less than 1000. In picking out a name its founders were altogether too far siQhted
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

the genuine, thick, creamy, sweet scented pumpkin pie could be universal. ly distributed it would banish pessim. ism and cause anarchy to take to the woods
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

A leading magazine contains a scien- tiflc article on how to overcome insom- nia. Anyone who reads the article will have no occasion to follow its advice.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

A Buffalo paper asks the public to call women who ride bicycles "cyclo- donnas." TEat fellow deserves to be run over by one of them.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25
den1eaLO1.

Now that a South Carolina man has buried the devil, many old rounders will doubtless take fresh delight in raising him.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-12-25

A judge in Brooklyn has ruled that whenever matrimonial engagement is broken off the engagement ring must be returned That may be a good de- cision, but 1t won't take the up-to-date girl two minutes to overrule it.