davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28
Audacity.

The following incident is said to
have occurred In a restaurant: A
man entered the place and called for
very elaborate dinner. He lin
gered long at the table, and finally
wound up with a bottle Of wine.-
Then, lighting cigar he had or
dered, he leisurely sauntered up to
the counter and said to the proprie-
tor
Very fine dinner, landlord. -
Just charge 1t to me. l haven't got
SOU"
But don't know yOu," said the
proprietor, Indignantly.
"Of course you don't. If YOU
had, you wouldn't have let me have
the dinner"
Pay me for the dinner, / say !"
And | say I can't"
"I'll see about that" said the
proprietor, who snatched a pistol
out Of drawer, leaped over the
counter and collared the man, ex.
claiming, as he took aim at his head
Now, see If you'll get away with
that dinner without paying for it,
you scoundrel "
What is that you hold in your
hand ?" said the impecunious Gus.
toner, drawing back.
"That Is a pistol, SIR"
"Oh, that's a pistol, Is It? Idon't
care for fly for a pistol. Thought
it was stomach pump"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28
NUMBER SO.
Ten Little DOn'ts.

DON'T say lady or gentleman Friends;
if they are friends of yours they are
supposed to be one.
Don't strive to Guido your friends
or neighbors in either dress or house.
Probably your husbands means will
not admit Of it, and it will cause I'M
happiness for bubble.
Don't ask for lady's and gentle
mems furnishings when shopping;
IL is mems and women's.
Don't say "She is a nice lady ="
the correct form is "She is a nice
woman"
Don't stamp your feet to get them
warm; it does no good and it Is I'M
ladylike.
Don't forget to say "Thank you''
to a SalespersOn after being waited
upon. Simply because they have to
earn their living i'm this way is no
reason why they wouldn't appreciate
courtesy. 1t is little thing. Do it.
Don't wear your most elaborate
gowns shopping; plain ones are in
the best taste.
Don't say "ain't" for isn't and
aren't; there is no such word as
amt.
DON'T push to get en- street car
or elevator let the others off first.
Don't act like child and scream
when you feel that unpleasant sem
sation when an elevator is started.
Have more selfcontrol; men don't
do it.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28
~Sso

AN English clergyman was preach
ing in country church i'm Scotland.
He had as his subject "The Prodi-
gal Son." "And the prodigal son
went away from his poor old father
and remained in a far country for
years and years. But after years
and years he came back to his poor
father, and his poor father said unto
his servants, Bring forth the fatted
calf which has been kept for my son
all these years and years." An old
farmer in the congregation could
contain himself no longer. Eyer a
le'er, it wud hae bin co.," he ex-
claimed.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28
The Story Of the Book Agent.

a Philadelphia book-agent can
Vassed James Watson, rich anC
close New York man living at Eliza
beth, until he bought book, tht
Early Christian Martyrs" Mr.
Watson didn't want the book, bu
bought it to get rid of the agent
then, taking it under his arm, hi
started for the train which takes hin
to his New York office.
The canvasser took note that the
family was interested in that clas.
OF literature and made mental reso
luton to see Mrs. Watson during the
day, Mr.. w. having incautiously
dropped the remark that his wife
generally did the book buying OF
the family.
BY and by the book agent called
went in and persuaded the wife tC
buy another copy, she being igno,
rant Of the fact that her husband
had bought the same book in the
morning. When Mr.. Watson came
back from New York at night, Mrs.
Watson showed him the book.
Il don't want to SEQ it," said Mr..
Watson, frOwning terribly.
Why, husband? =" asked his
wife.
Because that rascally book agent
sold me the same book this morning.
Now, we've got two copies of the
same book -- two copies of the
Early Christian Martyrs and"
But, husband, we can"
"No, we can't, eithir :" inter
rupted Mr.. Watson. 1.-THE man is
off on the train before this. Con-
found it, l could kill the fellow !
III
Why, there he goes to the depot
now," said Mrs. Watson, pointing
out of the window at the retreating
form of the book agent making for
the train.
But it's too late to catch him,
and Pm not dressed. " I've taken
off my boots, and
Just then Mr.. Stevens, neighbor
Of Mr.. Watson, drove by, when
Watson pounded on the window
pane in frantic manner, almost
frightening the horses.
Here, Stevens" he shouted,
"you're hitched up! Won't you
run your horses down to the train
and hold that book agent till | come ?
Run! Catch 'em, now! :"
"All right" said Mr.. Stevens,
whipping up his horses and tearing
down the road.
Mr.. Stevens reached the train just
as the conductor shouted "All
aboard!"
Book agent" he yelled, as the
agent stepped on to the train
" Book agent! Hold on! Mr..
Watson wants to see y0un
Watson? Watson wants to see
me? ?" repeated the seemingly puz.
zled book agent.
"Oh, / know what he wants He
wants to buy one of my books, but
can't miss the train to sell it to him I"
I" If that Is al he wants, | can pay
for it and take it back to him. How
much is ?"
"Two dollars for the Early Chris
tian Martyrs said the book agent,
as he reached for the money and
passed the book through the car win
dow.
Just then Mr.. Watson arrived,
putting and blowing, In his shirt
sleeves. As he saw the train pull
out he was too full for utterance.
Well: I got it for you," said Ste
vens. Just got il, and that's all.n
SCOT what ?" yelled Watson.
Why, | got the book, 80 Early
Christian Martyrs and"
observation-disclosures moaned
Watson, as he placed his hand on
his brow and staggered into the mid
die Of the street.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

CHANCE CUSTOMER (arising from
chair after tedious ordeaD-You
have had little experience in your
profession, l suppose?
Barber-A littleI / have been
seven years i'm the business.
G. Customer-What was the name
Of the other man you shaved?
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

"OH, YES" said the eldest Miss
Culture, the other evening, 81 break
tasted yesterday with Mrs. Brain
weight, and we enjoyed delicious
repast-eXcellent coffee, nice bread,
and piscatorial globes done most adj
mirably." What? ?" inquired her
friend. Piscatorial globes" re-
peated the maiden. "And what
under the sun are they?" 81 be-
lieve," said Miss Culture, "that I'M
cultured people call them fish balls"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

How A LIFE WAS SAVED.-In
the old stage-coach times across New
York State woman was the only
passenger in one of these vehicles,
except her baby, whom she wrapped
in her fur cloak, leaving herself un-
protected from the piercing cold,
says the Bufa5o Times. The driver
saw that she was benumed, and
would freeze to death unless reused
to exercise. He dragged her from
the coach and left her by the way
side.
"Oh, my baby she cried.
The driver cracked his whip. The
coach flew over the snow, with the
woman running after.
The race was kept up for nearly
two miles, when the driver took the
mother in again and wrapped his
coat round her. He had warmed
her blood and saved her life.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28
CHOCTAW.

LAWYER Uhrusting servant from
d0orsill and entering hastily to delin-
quent tenant)-So you are in, are
you?
Delinqbent Tenant Excuse me,
sir, but didn't my servant tell you
that | was out?
Lawyer did.
ID. T.--Then / must be out, for she
was four months in your service,
and you recommended her to me as
a person of unimpeachable integrity
and truthfulness.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

A GHOST STORY.-J. Henneker
Heaton tells in the London Literary
World an interesting sequel to the
most famous Australian ghost story,
which came to his knowledge as one
of the proprIetors or the leading
New South Wales weekly, "The
Town and Country Journal..n One
of the most famous murder cases in
Australia was discovered by the
ghost of the murdered man sitting
on the rail of dam (Australian for
horsepond) into which his body had
been thrown. Numberless people
saw it, and the crime was duly
brought home.
Years after, a dying man making
his confession said that he invented
the ghost. He witnessed the crime,
but was threatened with death if he
divulged it as he wished to, and the
only way he saw out of the impasse
was to affect to see the ghost where
the body would be found. AS soon
as he started the story, such is the
power of nervousness that numerous
other people began to see it, until it's
fame reached such dimensions that a
search was made and the body found,
and the murderers brought to JUS
tice.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

81 KNOW you will like Fred, Pa
he doesn't drink, and"
"My daughter, am disappointed
in you; | did think you would
marry man who would OCCASION
ally ask your poor old father out to
have something"
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

"THE claim is often made that
the poor are constantly getting
poorer, and labor more and more OPP
pressed. But, indeed, the average
workingman of to-day" says Judge
Brown, "lives better and possesses
more of the comforts of life than
the average noble of six hundred
wears agO.D
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

A SMOOTH sea never made a skill
ful mariner; neither do uninter-
rupted prosperity and success qualify
for usefulness and happiness. The
storms of adversely, like the storms
of the ocean, arouse the faculties
and excite the invention, prudence,
skill and fortitude of the voyager.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

This" groaned the wretched
young father, shifting the wide
awake baby to The other arm, and
making the turn at the northwest cor
ner of the room for the four hum
dred an fifty-seventh time, "is one
Of the hardships that pass in the
niphtD
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

MISS CHoIR-It seems to be the
growing conviction that It ruins the
voice to interpret Wagner.
Miss Rival-You have sung Wag-
ner good deal in your day, have
you not?
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

$50 you have lost your wife, eh,
Remus ?"
81 reckon not, sah."
81 beg pardon, but was told this
morning that she was dead"
$50 she am, sab, but when yo'
come ter tork erbout me lOsin' Ter,
| boun' ter say dat knows whar tel
fin, her now better dan wen she
war libbin' reality, sah."
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

Tom quoting Hamlet"O - If
thou wilt needs marry, marry fool.
Bertha-Oh, Tom, this is so sudden.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

THE ranks of the dumb would
have innumerable accessiOns if peo-
pie were obliged to confine their ex-
pressions to what they know.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

Eff de chicken hahn got ghmp-
shun ernuf ter roos' high, hit aim de
nigger's fault dat he git cotch.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

THE chief fault some men find
with the work of the Creator is that
the rainbow was painted on a cloud.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

BROKEN promises are as unpleas-
ant to have around as broken glass.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

PENELoPE-So your ladies' whist
club has disbanded?
Etbel-Yes. You see, after the
third or fourth trick we couldn't re-
member what were trumps.
Why didn't you leave
the trump card on the table then?
Ethel-We tried that, but after
the third or fourth trick we couldn't
remember whom it belonged TO.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

1T 10 not the tallest boy that needs
to hang up the longest stocking.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

IN the lottery of intellect, the
dude draws a blank.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

THERE is no good in preaching to
the hungry.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

IN the hand Of a French duellist
the deadly weapon loses Its identity.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

A LOVER ot Bargains can satisfy
"a himself by ycalling on
J. e. BELL.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

HANDSOME apples are sometime
sour.
Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-01-28

ONE has only to die to be praised. L.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11
THE LATE SENATOR VOORHEES,

In the death Of Hon. d. w Voorhees, q
gentleman passes of the stage who has
occupied most conspicuous place in the
public eye for nearly forty years. Mr.
voorhees, was first introduced to the peo-
pie Of Virginia at the time of the john
Brown raid at Harper's Ferry. A young
fanatic named Cook. who was the brother
in-law Of the then Governor Of Indiana.
II we recollect Alright. connected himself
with that act OF criminal folly Of Brown
and was put upon trial for his life for
his part I'm II under the laws Of Virginia.
Mr.. voorhees, came here and defended
him. lie had no case, OF course, under the
law, but he made one Of the most noted
and forceful appeals to the sympatmes
OF the jury that was ever heard in a court
Of justice. 1t at once gave him a national
reputation as an orator Of the first order.
Cook was condemned, all the same
though. and expiated his crime upon q
Virginia gallows.
Mr.. voorhees, was what was known dur
Ing the war as war Democrat. but ne
had no part in it. and when the conflict
OF arms was over his heart went out TO
all Of the South with the tenderest and
hndest sympathy. In Congress and upon
the hastings he ever lifted up his voice
in noble and powerful protest against
the mad policy OF sectional hatred that
the Republicans set on foot against US.
and he never omitted an opportunity 10
appeal TO the country for justice and con-
siderate treatment to the South. He had
a warm place in the affections of our
people and he will be sincerely mourned
all over the Southern land.
For the past twenty years Mr.. Voorhees,
has placed himself in the front rank OF
those Democrats who have advocated free
silver and many very extreme measures
OF Populsm. He had seriously comprom-
ised the position which he would
otherwise have held in the records Of the
country. but at his death he was in high
favor with that section OF the Democratic
party that approves OF the Chicago plat
form.
The most notable incident Of Mr.. voor-
hees' recent years has been the tenacity
with which as chairman OF the Library
Committee OF the Senate he has chung TO
his pc. scheme OF giving this country a
Library Building at Washington worthy
OF our magnificent Library and of the
country. He wa rewarded for his efforts
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11
An UnpubII.hed Letter OF Henry CIa,.

WASHINGTON. 9Th March. ls-s.
Charles Palmer. ESD:
Dear Sir,-I thank you most cordially
for your friendly letter OF the 4th instant.
My official labors terminated as you con-
Jectured. ! yield my trust, not without
natural sense of The calunnies to which
1 nave been exposed. ana the injuries
which have been Indicted on me, but, II j
know my heart with feelings OF more
regret Tor my country than Tor myself.
1 am but one of near twelve .liilion OF
human beings Mv existence, which al
ready has been of no short duration,
might De closed without any impression
beyond the circle Of my own family. But
the lhlluence OF late events upon the al
ialrs OF me whole Union cannot fail TO be
great, ana may extend itself 10 remote
posterlty. sincerely hope that there may
be no realization OF the apprehension
which l have entertained. And l most
ardently wish that my country may con-
uhue 10 prosper under the direction OF
the Iash ana incompetent hands, In which
placed.
for the Kind interest which you have
taken IN the restoration Of my health, and
in respect TO my future destiny. l pray
you 10 accept my grateful acknowledg
mehts, ana al tho same time. assurances
OF my being truly and faithfully
Your oh. servant.
tSigneb II. CLAY.
(MT' Charles Palmer. TO whom the above
letter was written. was the father Of the
late Or. W. =. Palmer. among whose
papers the letter was found. Mr.. Palmer
was merchant Of Richmond. of distin-
suished personal appearance. and con-
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11

given number OF deaths. Also IN given
number OF houses insured. there will be
given loss within a given period. or
course. there will be variations. but the
results are sufficiently assured to make
honest insurance perfectly safe business.
at established prices.
The South may not be ready for this
branch OF business. and our people may
for a time go on as they have been, and
send millions OF money each year TO the
North IN payment Of insurance. hut the
time will come when the South will have
her own insurance companies. and then
the people will wonder why they Dut It
of for so long a time. We are i little
slow down South. but we usually find the
right thing in the long run.
We shall see what the insurance men
think OF II when they come to consider
the question at the forthcoming meeting
at Southern Pines.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11
THE PASSING OF THE OLD,TIME
NEGRO

The old-time "fore de war" negro IS
rapidly passing away, and it will not be
many years before he viii be extinct.
lie is not by any means TO be COMPOUNDED
with the modern product for he is a
distinct genus. We have the highest re-
gard for him. and see him passing away
with profound sorrow. lie is inseparably
associated with Southern society Of ante
bellum days. and the history Of the South
is by no means complete with the negro
and his characteristics, and especially his
relationship with the family to which he
belonged omitted. These things are lit
tie understood by the people Of the North.
and not much better by the young folks
Of the South who hear the negro called
'mister," instead Of uncle" Tom Page
ana Polk Miller and others OF that school
who, as they say. were raised with rig
gers" have preserved to US the negro
dialect and many Of his ways but there
is one phase of the subject that has not
been committed to print We refer to
the religious teaching of the negro by
their mistresses, the wives and daughters
Of the men who owned him.
We are pleased to know that the Rev.
Edward l.. Pell, of this city. is collecting
materials for a history OF the efforts
made by the South for the moral eleva-
ton Of the negro before the war. The
facts for such a history, while not cas-
lily available. are more abundant than is
generally supposed. Not only did the
churches OF the South spend large sums
OF money in missionary work among the
blacks. but It was not uncommon for
those who owned large tody Of slaves
to have a place OF worship for them, and
to have preacher employed for their
special ministry. Moreover, every white
church had its contingent OF colored
members, who had voice In the manage
ment OF church affairs. and so sacred was
this tic that many OF the colored people
continued their membership In the white
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11
SENATOR MILLS on THE sENATE's
RULES.

We nrint elsewhere this morning an ex-
ceedingiy interesting article by Senator
Roger O. Mills. of Texas. upon the waning
influence Of the United States Senate,
and the necessity Of so amending its rules
that a majority of the senators may he
able 10 come to a vote upon a measure
that has been properly debated.
We are not prepared to say that sena-
tor Mills suggestion IS the best that can
be made. though It strikes us that it
would meet the difficulty, But We are
prepared to say that Some amendment
should be made TO the Senate's roles that
would enable the majority Of the senator's
10 vote upon a measure when reasonable
debate has been heard upon II. We think
the House OF Representatives has Sc
riously impaired its position before, ard
hold upon the public confidence by Its
code OF procedure that practically stiles
all debate except what the Speaker,
through the Rules Committee that he
dominates. chooses 10 allow. and we
should be sorry 10 see the Senate adopt
rules that would limit such deoa.e as IS
reasonable and IS necessary - The fun
ventilation OF any question. But an old
proverb says enough is as good as a
feast" and when a proposition has had
such debate as brings about a full under
standing OF it, further discussion Is tine
wasted. and the majority should then
have II IN their power 10 force vote
upon A..
Senator Mills IS light in thinking that
the Senate has lost prestige with the
people by the spectacles II has exhibited
Of its incapacity to do business when a
few obstructionists resolve 10 block IL.
But its most serious loss OF prestige IS
due to another cause. The people OF the
United States have come TO understand
that wealthy men or corporas)Is debalch
the State Legislatures with money when
a United States senator IS 10 be e;c'icd.
and send there the tools Of different ill.,
terests TO be senators That IS the cause
Of the Senate's great loss OF prestige. and
that cause will never be removed now
until the Constitution IS so changed that
senators may be elected by dlcess vote OF
the people.(
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11
SUNDAY. APRIL IL, 1897.
MONDAYS MEETINGS AND rNENrs.

ivanhoe Lodge. X. of T., Lee Camp Hall.
Fraternal Lodge. Masons, Masonic lem
pie 49,,
PICKETT Camp. c. ". Central Hall.
syracuse Lodge. X. Of T., odd Fellows
Old Dominion Lodge. Mystic Chain FL
Jefferson Lodge. I. 0. o. f.. Odd Fellows
Hall.
Richmond Lodge. I. o. o. f., Beludere
Hall. ~,
Anawan Tribe. ]. o. r. NJ. Laube's Han
1ndianola Tribe. !. o. r. NJ. Toney's Han.
CAPITAL City Lodge. l. o. o. F., Concoraia
Hall. -, =
o. u. A. NJ. Hall. =,
Patrick Henry Council, Jr. o. u A. M''
Powhatan Hall. ..,-
Old Dominion Lodge. X. OF M. Co. Elicit
Hall.
Parlors. =, 900
Grove Council. Jr. o. U. A. M Gooa
Templar's Hall ..o..a
Rescue Lodge. I. o. G. T., Ga'e"oou
Hall. .,.-ao,,
Hall. - Co..
Baptist church.
McGin Union, Cathedral Han.
Carpenters Union, Concordia Han.
brotherhood Of Locomotive Engineers
Toney's Han. 5000.
Women's Christian Association Associa-
ton Rooms.
Company L. First Regiment, Armory.
The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-04-11

VIM. Johnson cOlored lives az 32S Step
henson street. At one time Molie Logan
was his friend. They are friends no
longer. Mollie went TO the residence Of
Johnson Friday night 20 get something
she left there. and She alleges that q
jumped upon and beat her MOllle's ale
cations could NOT be proven and Justice
John dismissed the charge against VIII
lia m.
John Williams. colored. was arrested
early Yesterday on west Broad street.
ie had in his possession four nice fat
hens. and not being able 20 account for
tho chicks. he was charged with being a
suspicious character The case was con-
tinucd until the 18th instant, and the
chickens await Identification at the Third
Police Station.
j. r. Blunt. colorod took too many
drinks. while standing in a barroom
awaiting the passing Of the storm. and
70 cost him g..
Cora Jones colored accused little Ellis
Robinson also colored. OF throwing stones
at her. The boy denied the charge and
told such a straight story that he was
dismissed.
G.. f. Clayton was reported for throw
ing stones In the street. but II could not
be proven on him and he was discharged.