davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
BERTHoLDE, THE DWARF.
His Shrowd Answers at the Court Of =
Lombard Kiug.

AomDoEu hInRs
Mary Shears Roberts, In her series oH
Historic Dwarfs," contributes an ar
ticle on Berthclde to st. Nicholas. Ber-
tholde was an Italian, and one day h.
made his way to the palace of Alboin,l
king of the Lombards, at Verona, ana
boldly seated himself in an empty
chair next the throne.
The courtiers were as much surprised
at his audacity as they were amazed at.
his grotesque appearances; but the Lom-
bard chieftain smiled grimly upon the
intruder and inquired of him 'what he
was, when he was born and in what
country?" 1
II am man." replied the dwarf,
whereupon the attendants went off into
fits Of laughter. 81 was born when Z
came into the world, and the world it
self Is my country" |
King and couriers now began TO real1
lie that they had shrewd little imp
before them, and they commenced To
ply him with questions of all kinds!
The asking of conundrums was a sort
Of trial of wit to which sovereigns were
much given at this period of history. /
'What thing is that which flies the
swiftiest?" asked one.
Thought" replied Bertholde.
promptly.
what is the gulf that is never filled?''
"The avarice of the miser," was the
ready answer of the quick-wittedl
dwarf.
what trait is the most hateful I'M
young Peoplep"
"Self-conceit, because it makes them
unteachable."
"Ilow will you catch hare running?'1
inquired the king.
"I'll stay till find her on the spit"
"How would you bring water in q
sieve?"
I'D wait till It was Frozen" AM
swered the dwarf, readily.
The king was delighted. For SO
clever a rejoinder," he said, "you shall
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
SCHOOL AND CHURCH.

Anonymous donors have Just sent
6 10000 and two sums of 6 500 each to
the bishop of Wakefield, in England,
for ecclesiastical purposes in the do
ccse.
Rev. w. ID. p. Bliss (Episcopal). rec.
tor of the Church of the Carpenter,
Boston, and editor of the organ OF
Christian socialism known as the Dawn,
Is making a lecture tour through the
west in the interest of Christian social.
ism.
The public schools of New Orleans
have been compelled to close during
the present month, the reason given
being that, however willing the city
council might be to help the schools,
there are no funds available for the
purpose.
Bishop Potter. of New York. has
informed the clergy of the diocese tina.
he will devote himself until March
entirely to raising funds for the COM
pletion of the Protestant Episcopal Ca
thedral of ST. John the Divine. Mean.
while the work of the diocese will be
carried on by the archdeacons. The site
on what is now habitually called the
Acropolis Of New York has been paid
for. at a cost of $S50,O00; the founda.
tions of the choir and the tower have
been completed up to the water table.
The bishop of Hereford, having ex-
pressed a very emphatic opinion on
the modern female costume, q woman
writes to London Truth that the real
cause of the episcopal censure is not
his lordship's objection to feminine
waistcoats, but jealousy of the adop-
ton by the sex of bishops sleeves"
And why, she asks, should a bishop
wear so feminine garment as an apron
if a woman cannot put on a vest?
"A queer sect, the Nazarenes, turned
up in n London police court recently,
owing to the refusal of their chief priest
to pay a printers bill. He called him
self Antipas pastor, Fidei Defensor, and
said that he had been a clergyman OF
the Reformed Episcopal church in the
United States. The bill in dispute was
for a pamphlet containing q State
ment of the Faith once delivered to the
Saints in opposition to the Faiths Of
Christendom," and on it's last page had
an advertisement of the "Antepas
Cycles, price IL guineas." Antipas, +.
D., had to pay.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
PlN-PRICKS OF LIFE.
Small Worries Often More Disastrous
Than Weighty Affections.


Than Weighty Affections.
1t is not always the real trials and
weighty Affections of life that wear
out women, but rather the small wor-
ries, the little pin-pricks, so to speak,
that are the great foes to peace in our
households. Human nature being very
imperfect, great many good inten-
tions relating to trivial matters are so
misunderstood and become so mixed
that more trouble is caused than they
were meant TO create in the beginning.
For, unfortunately, things will not go
right simply for the wishing, nor, in
deed, always for the trying. Says one
writer: Grave anXieties add to our
wrinkles; keen sorrows drive nails in
our collins; but it is the trifles, SEEM
jDgly insignificant, that darken our
days"
These slight annoyances are always
personal and usually confined to do
mestic matters, the misdeeds of serv-
ants, the shortcomings of the children,
the failure of the breakfast, the delay
of the dinner, the spelling of the cake
in baking, are all trials of patience,
while the arrival of unexpected COM
pany, the having to give up pleasant
walk or an anticipated night at the
theater, the destruction of our best
china by careless servant, the loss
of our pet dog, the killing by an early
frost of our favorite rose, are all both
ers, which, while they seem small, serve
to annoy us beyond the point of en-
durance. Yet all these happenings
come into the daily lives of most of
us, and we must expect them to break
into our felicity and leave their marks
behind. Much, however, after all, de-
ponds upon ourselves as to how these
pin-pricks affect us. With the wiser
of us they are only passing moments,
and through the mist of present disap-
pointments hope shines, and what at
first seemed to be irreparable can near
ly always be remedied. Honor to the
brave women who have schooled them
selves to bear patiently the petty wor-
ries of life, for to such in the end will
come the power. to meet the larger
catastrophes and sterner realities with
strength and courage.-Ladies' Home
Companion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
Gen. Grants Two Tunes.

A drum corps in passing caught sight
Of the general, and at once struck up a
then popular negro camp-meeting air.
Everyone began to laugh, and Rawlins
cried: "Good for the drummers!"
"What's the fun?" inquired the
general. "Why," was the reply, "they
are playing: "Ain't glad to get out OBJ
de wilderness!" The general smiled at
the ready wit of the musicians and said:
"Well, with me musical tune always
requires explanation. know onlT two
tunes. One is Yankee Doodle and the
other isn't."-Gen. Horace Porter, in
Century.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
A svmpntbetic Employer.

Old Gent-And so that is youremploy-
err going to the funeral of one of his
clerks?
Young Clerk-Not clerk, but dis
tapt relative of one of the clerks.
"My! my! I'm sure that is very
thoughtful"
"Yes, most too thoughtful. When
ever any Of us loses relative and tella
him about il, he always goes to the
funeral. consarn him!"
"Eh? And do you object to such
kindness of hearth"
"'Tisn't kindness Of heart sir. lie
goes to make sure that the funeral isn't
an excuse for day off."-N. Y. Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
SPLITS A SHEET OF PAPER.
Wonderful Dexterity OF a Bostonian with
q Paper-Splitting Knife.


Lucius Poole, whose den in Spring
field street, Boston, is famous among
antiquarians, can do more wonderful
things with sheet of paper than any
one else in America, perhaps in the
world. Not only can he dovetail, skive,
splice and inlay, but he can split. That
is the most difficult achievement in the
whole art of book patching. Mr.. Poole
will take leaf from any of the cur
rent magazines and slice it three times
through it's entire length and width,
thereby making four sheets, instead OF
one, each of just one-quarter the thick
ness of the original. Splitting hairs
is rough work beside job like that.
Mr.. Poole is brother of the late Will
liam +. Poole, head of the Newherry
and the Chicago public libraries and ed
itor of Poole's Periodical Index. He
was always interested in his brothers.
work and was fond of collecting rare
volumes, prints, theater programmes,
ETC., but he did not give himself up
10 that sort of thing entirely until about
ten years ago. Until then his fame
rested on his achievements as a dec
orator, but he suffered from paint poi
soning and had to drop that work.
Since then he has been on the mend.
One of Mr.. Poole's tricks is to cut
an imperfect picture from page and
then insert one in its stead so deftly
that only the closest scrutiny will dis
cover that the fiber has been disturbed.
Another is to plant" photograph on
lhe page of book, so that one cannot
cell that it was not printed there origi.
nally.
Joe Jefferson, one of the greatest coli
lectors in the world, is warm friend
of the paper carpenter" What may
be called their joint work almost is
huge quarto volume, 1.-THE History Of
William Warren" which is the most
comprehensively illustrated story of the
theater during the so years that ended
with Warren's farewell at the Boston
museum in 1889.
When Mr.. Poole is asked to tell how
he performs his feats he says: "Oh,
it's just by work, partly natural and
partly acquired. 1t would take year
to explain the details."-N. Y. Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
COYOTES ARE CLEVER.
How Ono of Them Drew y Hunting Dog
Into an Ambush.

How Ono of Them brew u Hunting Dog
Into AN Ambush.
No cutter animal is found in the west
than the coyote. The coyote is to the
plainsman what fox is to an eastern
farmer, only the coyote is more in evil
dence. Forest and Stream tells about
dog that had it's principal sport chasing
and otherwise worrying coyotes, and
was led into ambush by one coyote and
then set upon by several other
of the prairie wolves and almost done to
death.
about nine o'clock one night" the pa
per says, zone of the coyotes came to the
kitchen door and howlcd aggravatingly
at the dog, which, thereupon set after
the coyote full tilt. The coyote fled
around the house, down to the corral
and around the blacksmith shanty, the
dog yelping after. Behind the shanty
were other coyotes, six or seven of them,
and all of them made for the dog in a
way that made it feel lonely. The
ranchman heard the fight and the dogs
howls of pain; and grasping a rifle
started that way on run, yelling as
he went. The coyotes each took n fare
well nip and fed, leaving a sore dog be-
hind. Since then the dog has not been
so much interested as on former occa-
sions in coyotes, 1t follows single
coyotes vigorously, but the appearance
of another sends it back as fast as it
can rum"
The coyote likes badger flesh very
much, but one coyote is not equal to n
badger in fight; consequently the
coyote, when it meets badger has to
resort to stratagem till aid arrives. The
manner in which it does this, according
to the sportsman's paper,is interesting
Z "A few weeks ago. the writer says,
"as l was riding along saw a coyote and
q badger. The coyote seemed to be play
ing with the badger. He would prance
around it, then run off little way, the
badger following, evidently very angry.
When the badger saw me it ran into its
hole, while the coyote went off 40 or so
yards and lay down, evidently knowing
I had no gun with me. The coyotes
device was evidently to tease, and so
keep the badger interested till another
coyote happened along, when the
badger would have been killed"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
GALLERY GODDESSES.
A Glass Of Femininity Peculiar to
the National Capital
Girls Who Spend Most of Their Time
Listening to Speeches While Com
gress Is In Session Some
Historic Flirtations.
Especial Washington letter.

Especial Washington letter.
Strangers in Washington study the
statesmen in the senate and house of
representatives. They like to hear
speeches and argumentative dialogues.
The capitol guides SIT beside visitors In
the galleries and tell them the names of
the statesmen who are speaking.
Newspaper men and others who are
daily at the capitol have more pleasure
in studying the people in the galleries
than in hero-worshiping the statesmen
on the floor of either house of congress.
II is strange that women, who are not
supposed to know much about politics
or statecraft, should come in such num-
bers to the capitol on all occasions.
Writers who delight in sarcasm, quips
and jests. rather than in accurate por-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28

!. fairy washer woman down in a dell
Set her acorn-cup tubs under dropping
harebell.
She washed her clothes-queer little duds--
With the greatest of care In sea-foam for
a. suds.
Tolnake them look as good as new,
Sb, rinsed them well in the fresh morning
- dew,
And for indigo used a bit of blue sky;
Then, on a cobweb for clothes-line. they
were hung up to dry.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
Neglected Education.

Mistress - Gracious, Bridget, you
don't clean this house at all! See, can
write my name in the dust on the man.
tel.
Bridget-Shure, mum, you've got er
good edjikashun. That's more than
kin don. Y. journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
Relish for Cold Meats.

Three pounds of sugar, three of cur
rants, one pound of raisins, seedless
and soaked over night, and cooked in
the same water next morning until the
water is all gone; four oranges chopped
and the juice put in just. before it is
done. You cook all these ingredients
together.-Boston Globe.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
Lesser of Two Evils.

Officer-I found the man yelling and
breaking dishes with an ak.
Magistrate-What have you to say
for yourself?
Prisoner (humbly)-Your honor, l
was trying 20 keep the baby quiet
Town Topics.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
a Cynic.

Mrs. Goodly - I'm surprised, Mr..
Bache, to hear that you, of all men,
believe in early marriages.
Old Bachc-Well, madam, there's
some excuse for folly in youth, but not
later.-Brjoklyn Life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
COufOrtin

''Say, Elsie, look around the street
corner again and see if August isn't
coming yet
''No, l don't see him; but don't be
worried-the people are looking more
and more like him every mlaute'"--
Fiegende Blaetter aRr# t
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
NEAT TOY BALLOON.
This Tells How Any Boy or Girl Can
Make One OF Them.

1t is easy enough to make neat lit
tie balloon at Il cost of only few cents,
Buy several large sheets of stout It's
sue paper and cut them into IA sections
the shape of that shown in the picture,
and of such size as you may wish-three
feet is a good length. Now paste
these strips together at their edges.
Icing careful to leave no Sits
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-28
To Make Lace yellow.

To give cheap white lace the yellow
ish tingc beloved of artists, steep it for
a few minutes in weak tea.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-10-25

they say, be foolish to surrender n
) desirable position, already attained,
through an acceptance of proposals which,
II they failed of their intended object,
would place India permanently un.
der the silver standard. They declare
their unanimous belief to be that the pro.
posals would fail to secure n permanent
ratio of 15lo to l, the ratio proposed by
France, for the reason that the projected
arrangement would rest on too narrow q
basis: the union Of two countries, with a
third lending assistance, being obviously A
very different thing from the combination
of n majority of the most important coun.
tries OF the world. The despatch goes on
to argue that, If any measures were taken
to attain stability of exchange for gold and
silver, they should he based upon a rate not
greatly different from the present one.
according to which the rupee is worth but
32 cents. 1t is certain that an inter-
national union based upon n ratio low
enough to suit the interests of India,
as they are defined in this despatch,
would not be acceptable to France or to the
! United States. The conclusion reached is
that, while the present proposals might
nave DecU IdNOIubly COHSlutltu III lSV-,
the experience of the last few years has
revolutionizcd the state of things in India.
Even If 1t were conceivable hat an inter.
national union of n majority of important
countries might agree to n ratio 50 low AZ
that which India would require to avoid a
complete dislocation Of her existing finan.
cial status, the Calcutta authorities would
no longer be disposed to view it with APP
proval, being now convinced that it is best
for India to link herself to Great Britain,
and to adhere to the gold standard.
The last hope, therefore, of the interna-
tional bimetallist has vanished. The as.
sent given by NJ. MILNE, the French Prime
Minister, to Mr.. WoLCorT's proposals was
expressly conditioned on the ~latter's Sc
curing the acquiescence of England in tho
reopening of the Indian minis. With tho
failure of that condition, the negotiations
with France fall to the ground, and the
dream of International bimetallism Is
dispelled forever. 1t has been in the
house of ~presumable friends that the
bimetallists have been stabbed to
death the death blow to silver has
been dealt by India, the very country
which formerly was the largest consumer
of that metal, and which for n consid-
cradle time suffered most acutely from its
decline in price. The cause of her thor.
ough change Of front is, of course, that
India has at last adjusted herself to the
monetary conditions which prevail in al
most all important countries, and that she
no longer stands in dread of fluctuations of
values. Henceforth India will have a stable
rate of exchange, because she has at last
deliberately and irrevocably adopted the
gold standard.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-10-25
La Lucha Would Wage War.

The Havana newspaper La Luchd Is
counting the cost Of a war with the United
States, and concludes that Spain has moth.
ing to lose. With whimsical reasoning il
holds that her weakness would be n source
of strength. Her case, it says, would be
like that of a poor man suing n rich one, for
"the rich man is always the loser" Besides,
war would demonstrate the continued ex-
istencc of "thc traditional Spanish honor,
which we would defend even more carefully
than our lives"
We surmise that the struggle which La
Lucha welcomes as convenient for Spain"
would be short and sad for her. On the
face of it there is nothing to gain, save a
proof that Spanish patriotism exists, and
this is obvious now without a war. But it
is a serious mistake to suppose that there
Is also nothing to lose. In the first place,
Spain would lose Cuba forthwith, and with,
out compensation, whereas she may now
have hundreds of millions for it. Next,
she would probably lose a good share of
any fleet that she might send to make wal
on us. Then she would certainly lose the
money laid out on the foolish project of
making war upon us, and perhaps an in
demnity for our war expenses.
The fact is that the rich man is not al.
ways the loser, and the only loser, in a suit
against him by the poor man. That is a
suggestion which has often brought misery
70 the litigant who has no case.
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-10-25
"'Humanity with all Its fears.
With all the hopes Of future years
Is hanging breathless on thy fate"
The Calcutta Governmcn and Silver

In view of the refusal of the Calcutta
authorities to c~ountcnance the r%eopening of
the Indian minis to the free coinage of
silver, we may take for granted that the
bimetallic craze in England will presently
become extinct. We call the inclination to
promote international bimetallism a craze
because, although every sound tinancicr and
monetary expert in London is a gold mono
mctallist, the desire to rehabilitate the
white metal had infected a large section Of
the Conservative party, including many in.
fiuential members of the Ministry. Indeed,
Sir MICHAEL HICKs.BEACH, the Chancellor
OF the Exchequer, was for n time the only
man in the British Cabinet who stood forth
as an inflexible opponent Of n change
in the existing monetary system of the
United Kingdom.
The basis, however, of the whole agita-
tion has been swept away by the action of
the Calcutta Government. 1t has always
been assumed by the English advocates of
international bimetallism that, If any two
important countries, like France and the
United States, for instance, should agree
to revert to the coinage of silver and to
maintain n fixed ratio Of exchange between
the precious metals, so far as their respect
i've currencies were concerned, England
would cooperate. at least to the extent of
reopening the Indian minis. The assump.
ton was based upon the fact that In 1886
and In 1892 the Indian Government for.
warded dispatches to the Secretary of State
for India which, after drawing attention
to the disastrous effect of the fall in the
price of silver upon indian finance,
recommended that steps should be taken
for the rehabilitation of the white metal
through an international union of "a ma
Jority OF the important countries of the
world. The second set of dispatches was
followed by a Ministerial declaration in the
House of Commons to the effect that the In.
dian minis would be reopened whenever
the Calcutta authorities should express
a wish for it. That declaration has,
strangely enough, been construed by the
National Revie,C, the organ of the English
himctallists, as n pledge which rendered
1t imperative upon the Secretary of State
for India to order the reopening of the
Indian minis without reference to any
change of opinion which might have taken
place in Calcutta.
There has been a change Of opinion in
India, complete and emphatic correspond,
ing to a change in monetary md financial
conditions. The extent of the change is set
forth in the reply of the indian Govern.
ment to Lord S~ALIsBURY's inquiry, a reply
signed, 1t should he noted, by the Gov.
crrUr General and by every member of the
Council. In tleir despatch, the Calcutta
authorities point out that the difficulties
and dangers occasioned by the drop in the
price of silver, upon which stress was laid
in 1892, have now been almost wholly sur,
mounted, and that India is on the eve OF
securing ! stable exchange at the rate OF
81 cents per rupee. 1t would. consequently,
The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-10-25
Republicans. stand Together!

The election Of Gen. TRACY Is conceded
by all tho various divisions OF the opposi-
tion to the Republican party, provided only
that the great mass of Republicans remain
loyal to their party.
All the ciphcrcrs of Tammany, Of the Low
conspiracy, and of HENRY GEORGE, make
the possibility Of the election Of the man
put up by each respectively depend wholly
on the division of tho Republican vote.
Neither VAN WICK nor GEORGE has a sim
gle chance against a solid Republican vote,
and they do not pretend to have any.
The Carnegie Hall traitors in the Repub-
lican party, therefore, are working simply
to stab their party. They know that vic
tory for it is assured unless they can draw
of treacherously enough Republican votes
to turn the scale in favor Of Tammany.
That Is their obvious Jane.
Instead of decreasing the Republican
vote, such n conspiracy should rather in
crease it. 1t should stimulate all loyal
Republicans to The more vigorous efforts to
defeat the treachery and should draw to
their aid the honest manliness of the con-
servative community, whatever may have
been its past party affiliations.
Beat the traitorsl Cover them with the
lasting disgrace they deserve! Pull to-
gether for the election Of Gen. TRAoYl