The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-08-08
STEPS TO THE ALTAR
rr HENRY MARTI.EY.


the subject, but Mrs. Trevor's projects gem
orally produce some even though unex-
pected. results. and when she invited me to
stay at their riverside place soon after their
return from the honeymoon, / accepted
the invitation with the conviction that MS.
Trevor's notion Of a sober-minded married
woman might be amusing. On my arrival
found that her good intentions had been
carried out to an alarming extent. The
party in the house was, to put it euphemis-
tically adult. 1t comprised a collection of
elderly gentlemen with their elderly wives
and without their daughters. Among their
number were an Nj. p, distinguished au-
thority on political economy, a dean, and
retired Indian general. AT first l was
amused at the spectacle Of AIRS Trevor
gravely taking an interest in their sonorous
twaddle, while Trevor sat lugubriously
with only spasmodic and artificial attempts
at doing his duty as a host Then, how
ever. it struck me that my Invitation to be
member of this chamber OF horrors was
scarcely a compliment and several days of
their society did not appear pleasant pros
pect. After lunch L left Trevor to face an
animated discussion on the delimitation of
the Indian frontier, and escaped to smoke
alone on the lawn. After a while Mrs
Trevor emerged from the house and hurried
toward me-
Take on the river for a little while
Tor PHYS sake Mr. Ingis,~ she exclaimed
with a tragical expression. I'm getting
on beautifully on the whole, but some
times 1 have relapses."
Il think the punt would meet the circum-
stances best" L said
Haven't 1 got together splendid selec-
ton Of the good, the true and the ugly?"
she inquired, as we moved off in the punt
Well" 1 answered. you certainly seem
to have put away childish things success
fully"
Sometimes I feel afraid that I'm taking
them in too large doses to start with" she
sighed THAT political economy man is
almost too much. don't think that 1 ought
to have attempted him in the summer Do
you know, last night he and General Car
yer discussed the depreciation of the ru-
pee the whole dinner"
You'll find it hard work being good and
letting who will be clever" replied.
And they get so heated about these
things" she went on plaintively. "A man
would be ashamed to make a fuss about a
shilling, so l don't see why he should al
most lose his temper about a rupee"
Did you never meet elderly people be-
fore you were married?" / inquired
Il suppose L must have" she answered
meditatiVely; but l never studied them
! had no idea of the things they perpetrate.
DO you know, some of them, particularly
General Carver, demonstrate truths with
diagrams made out of forks and bits of
bread? 1 tried to do it last night but
forgot what the diagrams were intended to
mean, and they looked at me with serene
contempt, and L was very Inundated"
What have you done with them now?'
I Inquired
'Oh, the wives are a little sleepy after
lunch" she said. II think it's the result
of high thinking. Jacks amusing the men,
1 suppose"
We'll" 1 replied. 81 won't go so far as
to say that"
Jacks very unsympathetic," she went
on. HE says this is the dullest form of
practical joke that even 1 ever committed"
''He ought to know how much harder it
is for you to be serious than for him.
That's what 1 think" she replied. He
often talked about politics before he was
married, and I never did. We'd better go
back now, and that reminds me that orig
inally came to speak to you about some
thing particular, and not about everything
in general Jack insisted what he called
diluting the party with somebody ess ma
ture and full bodied, and I've had to invite
some young people"
Some people are born Young some
achieve youth, some have young persons
thrust upon them,'I murmured :atuously.
80 I've been summoned as an unwelcome
young persona"
"Oh, 1 didn't mean you" she answered
IT can't at the present moment remember
exactly why L asked you, hit I'm sure it
fOr-
these young people. OF course, l had to
humor Jack, and at the same time l
wanted to do some good. You see, Tn not
perfectly certain that 1 can go on being
serious minded for very long, and I ought
to take advantage Of my opportunities
while they last. So I decided to unite phi
lanthrophy with--whats the other word be-
ginning with phil?"
"Philandering?" I suggested.
Yes, philanthropy with philanCcTing,"
she pursued. Eat first / thought Of invit-
ing people who might marry each ctler.
but that seemed commonplace, and, if
you're not very careful, they don't rair off
properly. Then discovered nue.. letter
plan. 1 decided to reunlte people wLo've
been engaged ana qua-reled. There young
people often ruin Their lives In a fit Of lem
per-"
Dear mer' said. "A matrimonial bu-
reau, where repairs are neatly executed!
That's a commercial way of putting it,"
she replied; but that kind of thing So I've
invited Mr.. Lane and Kathleen Collins, and
Mr.. Forbes and Ella Howard to meet each
other"
do they understand the project?" I In
quired
"Of course not" she answered, "or they
wouldn't have come I intend it as de-
nghtful surprise for them"
HIM said. Are you certain it will be
a success"
"Of course" she replied II know they
really quarreled about nothing, but they'll
be the river. and no mothers ,and 1 shah
send them out by moonlight in canoes.
They won't be able to avoid making it up"
What will happen" l suggested, will be
that the four young persons will receive tel
egrams and disappear on the morning after
their arrival"
You are really very stupid, Mr.. Inglis,"
she ss'd petulantly. Nothing of the kind
will happen. 1t would look as if each still
minded about the other. and would be the
last thing they would dream of. And. of
course, to make certain. l shall suggest
that to the girls, and you must suggest it
to the men,.
"oh, I've got to take hand, have II" 1
asked