davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
F[ASA|lH 50:
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Bingo-"I want to exchange this tan
dem for two wheels" Agent-"Whats
the matter?" Bingo-'T find that am
not strong enough to ride it."-Life.
The Wife-"What sweet smile there
Is on the baby's face, John" The Hus-
band-"Yes, he's probably dreaming
that he's keeping me awake. Town
Topics.
Il never stirred from my room on
Sunday until five o'clock in the after
noon." what on earth were you do
ing" ooh! I was just glancing over
the Sunday papers."-Puck.
Ethel-"And when he said he was
willing to die for you, what did you
DOR Penelope-"Why, I nearly faint
ed!-the idea of the only man at a sum-
mer resort talking of dyingy'-Puck.
Senator Rich dnculcating economy
1T isn't what a man makes that makes
him rich, you know" His Grandson
"Oh, know that, grandpa-it's getting
prohibitive tariff put on n."-Puck.
Little Miss MuEet-T don't thup-
with gentleman like you, Mr.. Donkey
Boy, but I gueth it's all right. The
donkey Is as good as most chaperons."
Bazaar.
Mrs. Tenspot-"I am so glad that you
are engaged to Harold Wiloughby.
Was it long courtsh1p?' Miss Skid
more-"Not very. My cyclometer reg
istered about one hundred miles,
Judge.
Pease-"Well, there's theychurch bell.
Castleton will be around in, minute"
Hubbard-"What, are you going to
church," Pease-"Oh, no; but that
was to be the signal for our century
run."-Puck.
Miss Howler (who sings)-''That gen.
tleman you just introduced me to said
he would give anything If he had my
voice. By the way, what business does
he followY' Friend-'He's an auc-
tioneer. Judge.
Professor-"Margaret, please take
the cat out Of the room. cannot have
IT making such a noise while I am at
work. Where is it?" Margaret
why, sir, you are sitting on it."-Flie-
gende Batter.
What makes Bumply so down on
the long-distance telephone?' "He
called up man in Toledo who owes
him two dollars and a half. They
wrangled till it cost Bumply thirteen
dollars. Detroit Free Press.
Sunday school superintendent (se-
verely)-"Bobbie, didn't see you in
Sunday school yesterday" Bobbie (de-
fantly)-"No, sir. was out on my
wheel" Sunday school superintendent
-"How were the roads ?"-Life.
Askins-'srhat Miss Summerflirt
seems to be very" fond Of outdoor
sports?" May Cutting-"Yes, indeed!
All the. morning she lies on the beach
In her bathing-suit, and all the after
noon she sits on the piazza in her BIZ
cycle-suit. Puck.
whats the matter now?" asked the
leading actor, as the manager tore a
letter to shreds and stamped his feet.
MATTER? That performance of yours
Is so Internally bad that this person de-
mands that his name be stricken from
the free list."-Detroit Free Press.
He-"Do you believe that money has
a personality2" Shelf don't know.
Why" He-"Here's a telegram just
got from my wife at the seashore, ad-
dressed to One Hundred Dollars in
my care" She-"What does it sayY
He-"It;says come at oEce.' life.
Firststramp-"Haw! haw! I've won
bet made wild me frien', Berry Bill.
He gev me odds Of two to one he
wouldn't do ten days work inside of a
year." Second tramp-"What' he been
doin'?" First tramp-'It says here he's
been sent up fer six mont's at hard
IabOr."-Puck.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
BIG Bridges.

The following table gives the lengths
of the principal bridges in various
countries: Tay, Great Britain, 9,696
feet; Forth, Great Britain, 1852 feet;
Moerdyck, Holland, 1920 feet; Volga,
Russia, 4,715 feet; Weichsel, Germany,
4,346 feet; Theon, Germany, 4,172 feet:
Grandez (Elbe) States, $3.50 feet. The
greatest single span Of the Forth
bridge is LIPS feet; and Of the East
River Brooklyn) bridge, 1,6O1 feet be.
tween the towers.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
The Movable Carriage wheel, Guard.

Movable carriage wheel guards are
made chiefly for use with light carriages
that are not equipped with fixed guards.
The movable guard is Of willow basket
work. In its general outlines it is some
thing like coat or cloak hanger. It is
made to fit over section of the rim of
the wheel. The carriage guard is car
ried in the carriage, and when required
for use to protect the gown of woman
getting in or out it is simply held on
the wheel. EXCHANGE
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
Butler and Hoar.

Ben Butler, in case in the Massa-
Chusetts supreme court involving dam
ages for fatal injury. Senator Hoar be
ing on the other side, quoted Job,
"All that man hath will he give for
his life. THAT" said Mr. Hoar,
twas plea Of the devil in a motion for
a new trial, and don't think the court
will be more impressed by it on account
Of its modern Endorsement.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
An Indian Actress.

An Indian girl is playing Puck in
Marie Wainwright's production of "a
Midsummer Nights Dream" Her name
is Ollie Heath, and she was born and
raised among the Cherokee tribe. Sus-
sequently she attended a seminary and
there gained her first knowledge Of
stage art
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
Mornh,ne Habit in France.

The injection of morphine is habit
that is, unfortunately, on the increase
in France, especially among the mid
die classes. On statistics furnished by
the pharmacists it is estimated that
there are in Paris at least $4,000 vic
tics Of the morphine habit, the major
ity Of whom are women.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
ALMOST INSIDE OUT.

shaking up on the "briny wave must be well
fortified one. The gastric apparatus can be
rendered proof against sea sickness with that
and land-Hostetters stomach Bitters. 1t de-
tends the system against malaria and rheuma-
tism and subdues liver complaint, constipation
and dyspepsia.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
Lazy PeOnle.

The LATEST people on earth live on the
Sandwich Islands. None Of the natives
do any work to speak Of. Nature gives
them enough to eat without any con-
siderable labor, and they seem content
ed with what they thus receive.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
All In the Same Boat.

Gus de Smythe-Those new boots Of
yours squeak awfully. Perhaps they
amt paid for yet?
Johnnie Fewscads-That's all non.
sense. If there is anything in that, why
don't my coat and my vest and my
trousers and my hat squeak too?-Lcn-
don Fun.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
Plants From Buds.

There are certain varieties of noun
tain plants which have singular pro-
vision of nature for perpetuating their
species. The duration of summer in
those elevated regions is too short to
permit Of the ripening of seeds, and the
top buds fall off and take root as would
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
Remarkable Salt Deposit.


A specimen of the most remarkable
salt deposit in the world is to be seen
in the office of Mr.. T. E. Gibbon in
Los Angeles. It is from the property
of the Crystal Rock Salt Mining COM
pany, which has what corresponds to a
lake of that substance located near
Cadiz, on the Atlantic and Pacific rail
way in this State.
The deposits extend over an extent
of a thousand acres, and have the ap-
pearance exactly of frozen lake. Ex-
cavations have been made to the depth
of sixty feet without any indication of
reaching bottom. The salt is absolute
ly chemically pure, and is as transpar-
ent AS glass. A block of it two feet
thick looks like crystal, and the finest
print can be read through it with ease.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

Fresh, ripe fruits are excellent for
purifying the blood and toning up the
system. AS specific remedies oranges
are aperient. Sour oranges are highly
recommended for rheumatism.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

Pisos Cure for Consumption is the only
cough medicine used In my housed. G.
Albright, Miffiinburg, Pa, Dec. II, 1895
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
PURE FOOD

Tea Garden Drips is pure sugar product.
The sweetest and best favored table syrup ever
made.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

Counting after neutrality-suspicious.
Cor a divorce.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

Ella-What would be the result if women
were to get their rights? Jack-More men
would die old bachelors.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
Tough on the Doctor.

Doctor-I'm surprised to see you out
so soon.
Patient-Yes; the dog upset the medi-
cine you left for me.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

"I can't sand Hobbs; he is the most offensive
Anglomaniac know" Chow does he show
it?" HE laughes at English jokes
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29
PURE FOOD

Toboggan Maple Syrup is absolutely pure and
rich in flavor. Recommended by Physicians.
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

Try schilling's Best tea and baking powder
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

DUPTURE and PILES cured; no pay
nuntil cured send for book. DRs. MANSFIELD
& PoRTERF1ELP, 1873 Market ST., San Francisco
Mesa free press., 1897-10-29

A parting gift-A brush and comb
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
GOldhsh Prices.

Ordinary goldfish for aquariums can be bought as low as 10 cents each. From that the prices run up very high. As much as $50 has been paid for a well bred telescope fish. This fish grows to be four or five inches in length. It comes from Chins and Japan and takes its name from its eyes, which stand out from its head like little telescopes. Eff ty dollars is an unusual price to pay for a goldfish, but prices ranging from 50 cents to $I5 or more are not unusual. The higher prices are paid for beautiful Japanese goldfish with fringed and lace like tails.-New York Sun.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
His Bonus,

They were just closing up the real es- tate deal, and the man who always wanted something thrown in to make a good bargain appeared to hesitate.
 "What'll you throw in?''
 "What'n I what?'
 "What'n you throw in as a sort of bonus?''
 "Oh, yes, yes, of courseI" said the real estate man. "How stupid of mel Why, the fact is, in cur line of business we are not exactly in the habit of giving prizes, but, in this case, just to make it binding, 1 don't mind throwing in the back taxes.
 "Now you're talking businessp' ex- claimed the would be purchaser Ut al- ways pays for man to stick out for his rights.
 It was only after the transfer was made that he discovered the back taxes were payable by and not to the owner. Chicago Post.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

grocer but I know it's nigh oL
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

doctor told me I would have to go to a hospital before would dgetwen. Ihad female trou blesin their worst form, suf- fered untold agonies every month my womb tipped back tony backbone; had headache, hysteria, fainting spells, itch ing, leucorrhea.
 "My feet and hands were cold all the time, my limbs were so weak thatI could hardly walk around the house; was troubled with numb spells fol- lowed Mrs. Pinkham's advice l have taken four bottles of Lydia E. Pink haas --.taoIe Compound. CU- L- L-- -, .- Blood Purifier, oCe p-s-sa=se Of 1Aor o,-u4-..yL ., ..a1. and am entirely cured. .H-MRs. LOUISA PLACE, $50 Bel mont St, BrocktOn, Mass
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Can See Your Optical Blood We

Behind the eye what is called the "retina" Is lined with branching blood vessels, and a curious but perfectly simple experiment will enable you to see these. Place yourself in a dark room opposite a dark -colored wall; then light a candle, and, holding it in your hand, shove 1t up and down be- fore your eyes, all the time looking, not at the candle, but the wall beyond. After a little practice you will see ap- pear on the wall great branching fig ure in black on a reddish surface. What you are looking at is the shadow of these blood vessels at the back of your eyes. Perhaps the most curious part of the whole thing is that the part of the eye which receives the impres- sion of light must lie behind these blood vessels.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Tndio,s PopuIous Cities.

India has 2,035 towns with m aggre gate population of 27,251,17 about one-tenth of the total population. Of these towns 28 have over 100000 inhab- itants, AS more over 50,OOO, and 55G more over 10000. The largest are BOm- bav. 821. .7G4; Calcutta, I'll, ,144; Madras, 452. .51S; Hyderabad, 415,O39; Lucknow, o73 OPS; Benares, 219, ,467; Delhi, 192,- 579: Mandalay, 1SS,S15; Cawnpore, 1sS. TIP; Bangalore, 1S6,3G6; RangOon. 1S3.3 .324; Lahore, 176,S54; Allahabad, 175. 246.-New York Sun.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

Many men won't believe It until they have had personal experience."-De- ltroit Free Press.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Try schilllngs Best tea and baking powder
A Good Guess of Long Ago.

During the American Revolution an English magazine published an estimate of the North American colonies. Plac- ing the population then at 3, ,000, 0G0 and assuming that it would double it. self every % years. the writer estimated that in the year 1890 the number would have increased to 64, 600, 900. This may be taken as a most remarkable prophecy, iDasmuch as the census of 1890 fixes the total population at 62, ,622, 25O.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

The readers of this paper will be pleased to learn that there is at least one dreaded disease that science has been able to cure in all it's stages and that is Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure is the only positive cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional disease, acquires a constitutional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces of the system. -Aerehy az---".-u. he l1unaarl5n cf tLe disease and diving i1e potenl strength hv LI.|G.Hs "A. t.... r.rsrl- -uJirr ----. @e-'s'irg nature I'D doIng Os work proFiietOry have so much faith in its cura- tivs powers, that they offer One Hundred Dollars for any case that it fails to cure. Send for list of Testimonials.
 Address, ?. J. CHENEY & CO, Toledo, O..
 ooid by Druggists, 75c.
 Halls Family Pills are the best.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Practical.

''She writes home every day."-Chi- cago Record.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Polling the Foo.-KilIer.

"Who is that man who laughs ecstat- lcally every time wave causes the ship to lean to one sideT asked the passenger on an excursion steamer.
 "He thinks he's doing it," replied the Captain. we bring him along to keep him from causing any real damage He's the man who rocks the boat. - Washington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

"Reg'lar noosance I calls them ere bicyclers. Only las week a young woman runs plump into me, an wot did she say? 'Hexcuse meT No! What did she say? Why she ses, Thank levin you're a noomaticw-Lon- don Sketch.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
CHEAP IRRIGATION.

The Hercules Gas Engine Works of San Francisco, Cal, the largest builders of gaa. gasoline and oil engines on the Coast, arc making extensive preparations for the seasons business.
 They are filling several orders for large 1rrlgating plants and as this line of their business increases each season, it is safe to say the farmers throughout the State are ap- preciating the advantages of irrigation with water pumped by this cheap power.
 The Hercules Works are at present build ing an 80 H. P. engine for Geo. E. Fucker, Colusa, which will raise 5000 gallons per minute from the river and distribute it over his land. his will be the largest gasoline pumping plant in existence.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

What nonsense 1t is?" remarked the sentimental girl, ito take daisles and by plucking off the petals try to learn whether or not man loves you"
 "Yes," replied Miss Cayenne; "it is very silly. A much better method is to take the roses he sends you around to the florists and find out how much they cost" t."-WashingtOn Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Drawing the Line.

"No," said the young woman with the standing collar and the lawn tie, "I cannot follow the dictates of my heart. I cannot marry him."
 "Why not?" inquired her cOnfidante.
 ''The difference in our positions Is too great"
 Love should be capable of any sacri- fee"
 q suppose so. But 1 cannot forget that my position pays me $25 week, while he gets only $12."-Washington Star.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Love.

"Treddle's an awful fool. ain't he7" "He's in love, you know.
 ''What has that to do with his being a fool?"
 Don't you know the definition of love? Two souls with but single thought, etc.
 "WelI?''
 "Tbat allows Freddie just half a thought, you see. New York Sun.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
How Many Women Have Quietly Obtained Advice That Made
 Them Well.

My sister, if you find that in spite of following faithfully your family doc tors advice, you are not getting we'll, why do you not try another courseP Many and many a woman has quietly written to Mrs. Pinkham, of Lynn, Mass, stating her symptoms plainly and clearly, and take her advice, which
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
THAT TERRIBLE sCoURGE.

Malarial disease is invariably supplemented by disturbance of the liver, the bowels the stomach and the nerves. To the removal of both the cause and its effects Hostetter's Stomach Bitters is fully adequate. It fills the bill' as no other remedy does, performing its work thoroughly. Its ingredients are pure and wholesome, and it admirably serves 10 build up a system broken by i'll health and shOrn of strength. Constipation, liver and kidney com plaint and nervousness are conquered by it.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
An Amendment.

Sanders (quoting)-We'll never mi ss the water till the well runs dry.
 Col. Lexington-Bosh, suh! We'll nevah need the watah till the dud-gast- ed prohibitionists triumph.-Philadel' phia North American.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Lar For fhe Pnor.

The Legal Aid society gives legal as- sistance to the poor of New York who cannot afford lawyers fees. It has ex- isted 20 years, has cared for 80, GOO cases and secured over $500, ,0OO to its needy clients. It is supported by voluntary contributions,
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
REVOLUTIONARY WIDOWS.
List of Surviving Wives and Daugh
 ters of Patriots.

List of Surviving Wives and Daugh.
 ters of Patriots.
 Fl. Clay Evans, commissioner of pen- sions, has prepared for his annual re- port the following list of the names of surviving widows and daughters of revolutionary soldiers on the pension rolls from June 30, 1897, with their ages and places of residence at that date, and the name of the soldier and place of service: Lovey Aldrich of Los Angeles. Cal. aged 91 years, widow of Caleb Aldrich. who served in New Hampshire and Rhode Island.
 Hannah Newell Barrett, aged or years, daughter of Noah Hanod, who lives in Boston. Her father fought for the colonies In Massachusetts.
 Juliette Betts, aged 91 years, of Nor walk, Conn.,, daughter of Hezekiah Betts, whose service was in Connecti- cut.
 Susannah Chadwick, S2 years, of Emporium, Pa, daughter of Elihu Chadwick, of New Jersey.
 Nancy Cloud, of Cum, Va, widow of William Cloud, who fought in his na- tive State.
 Esther S. Damon, S3 years, of Ply mouth Union, Mass, widow of Noah Damon of the same State.
 sarah c. Hurlburt, 70 years, of Little Marsh. "a. CalE'l' a." -|''ia' W. :. of Massachusetts.
 Nancy Jones, o5 years. .of Jouesuo Tenn, widow of James Darling, of North Carolina.
 Hannah Lyons, of Marblehead, Mass, daughter of John Russell of the same State.
 Rebecca Mayo, S4 years, of New born, Va, widow of Stephen Mayo, of Virginia.
 Eliza SandfOrd, of Bloomfield, N. J., daughter of William Sandford, of the United States.
 Ann NJ. Slaughter, S7 years, of The Plains, Va, daughter of Philip Slaugh- ter, of Virginia.
 Mary Snead, S1 years, of Parksley, Va, widow of Bowdoin Snead, of Vir- ginia.
 RhOda Augusta Thompson, 76 years, of Woodbury, Conn, daughter of Thad deus Thompson, of New York State.
 Augusta Fuller, of Bridgeport, Conn, daughter of B. Isaac Way, of Connec- ticut.
 Nancy A. Weatherman, aged S7 years, of Elk Mills, Tenn, widow of Robert Glasscock, of Virginia.
 The widows of surviving revolution ary soldiers receive SIP month under a general act, while the daughters re ceive sum stipulated by an individual act passed by Congress for each one.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
C0untiuO Tn

Maude (at the seashore)-How many have you, Alice?
 Alice-I've got eleven. And you? Maude-Oh, fourteen.
 No. they weren't discussing captive young men. Just plain mosquito wounds.-Philadelphia North Ameri'
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
ua1ned a Worthy Cause.

Magistrate-What made you steaI the jewels of that actress!
 Rurglar-I saw her in the theater and admired her art so much that 1 con- cluded to give her a chance for free puff in the papers.-Fliegende Blaetter.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
UnIeayened Bread.


 Leaven Is ferment. Fermentation Is decay. It destroys the sugar in the grain, and if allowed to go on rOts and destroys "the whole lump"
 One kinG of bread every Israelite knew how to Omake-unleavened bread; for they were obliged by the law of Moses to eat only that bread one week in each year. Probably when they found how good it was they continued to make it much of the time.
 How can it be made? Take water, or milk, or milk and water, and mix with flour and bake in small or thin cakes, -i1 -a quick oven, and see how sweet it tastes. It may De kne9ueu ana baked lu }iiJla bisguifs II may be poured as batter Into shallow tins or it may be rolled or spread out into thin cakes, and when baked in a hot oven 1t will be delicious. Use no saleratuS, baking powder, eggs, sour milk, yeast, salt, sugar. or any other thing except flour, or meal, and pure water or milk.
 Perhaps the best bread may be made in this way: Set a French rOll-pan, or set of little cake-panS on the stove to heat. Take a pint of cold milk or cold milk and water, and shake or sift fine flour, or entire wheat meal, or four and corn meal, into the milk, stirring 1t briskly until the batter Is just stiff enough to run smooth when it is turned out into the dishes. Then butter your u6 o fyUn of 6o full. Let it stand on the hot stove till bubbles begin to rise to the surface. Then shove the pan into hot oven and let it stand fifteen minutes without looking at It. Twenty minutes baking brings 1t out brown and beautiful, light and sweet. the best bread you ever saw; healthy whether hot or cold-Only you will like 1t so well you will want to eat too much of it.
 Will it be light? Of course it will. The batter is full of air. The heat of a quick oven seals up the top of the bread, and then the air expands with heat and raises the bread.
 If you want to know how good such bread tastes do not daub it over with salt butter till you cannot taste the bread at all, but take piece when hun gry, or when travelling, and chew 1t slowly and enjoy it. If you cannot dc this lay piece of it side by side with slice of ordinary raised and soured bread before a cat or dog, and see how quick they will tell the difference.
 Put nothing whatever in your bread but flour and milk and water and you will say, "EvermOre, give us this broad "
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

"No, madam, I cannot truthfully say that 1t does. I haven't time to regard the phenomenon. I'm kept too busy watching the ."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Attributes.

"Poor motherless girlw he exclaimed, and turned sadly away.
 What he wanted was a motherless sirl who should be in moderate circum- stances at least.-Puck.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

Halls Family Pills are the best.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

was promptly
 received. The following let
 ter is pretty strongconfrm-
 ation of this: !" I had go been sick IT for six " months; one
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Knew How.

Friend (making a call)-You are not looking very robust. Do you enjoy good health?
 Mrs. Stayatt- Holme (with a sigh)- Indeed l dol But I hardly ever have a chance to.--Chicago Tribune.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23

made. His face was distinctly pleasant,
 and its expression was an odd mixture of shrewdness, decision and gay good humOr. His costume was a swallow
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Angelic Temperament.

"He is good natured, is he?'
 Good naturedl Why, have known that man to wear a smiling face when he was speaking of taking off a porous plaster. "-Boston Traveller.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Thick Spider Webs in Japan.

In the forests of Java species ot spider has ben discovered which pro- duces webs of such extraordinary strength that a knife is required to sever them.
The St. Johns herald., 1897-10-23
Grace-Guess you won't.
asked If I'd float through l
A ubiti0uR.

Rev. pr. Saintly-What a diligent little man you are with your studies!
 Willy-Yes, sir; am trying to learn how to read so can tell the names of the horses that win.-Puck.