Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-08
SPINNING WHEEL.
RANISHED.

I SPINNING WHEEL.
S-~~~~~~~~->~~-~-~-o~~~~ ~~-~-~~~>~~~~-~~~0
BANISHED.
Oh! once I shone In royal state,
The cynosure of eyes;
The choicest piece of hall-marked plate
was not a rarer prize.
The center of the snowy board
The place reserved for me,
While in my cut-glasS zone was stored
A spiced variety.
Now banished to the topmost shelf
OF this most dingy place,
With grief l recognize myself
A Caster-in disgrace.
Along with Lady Soup Tureen
And spoons de Souvenir,
DecanterS tall-we eXileS all
Are negotiating here.
For individual upstairs now
Hold continental reign,
And bouillon cups have made their bow
And bourgeois sway maintain.
But fashions come and fashions go,
And time is on the wing;
Who knows? within a year or so
We may be 'just the thing
What to Eat
Soon after the close of the Civil war
Bishop Wilmer of Alabama, who was an
city to ask aid for Confederate orphans
home he was interested in. He hadn't
been North for several years, and his old
There was a dinner in his honor and after
dinner the bishop was begged to tell a
story or two. The bishop said he hadn't
a story.
But" he added, give got conun-
drum. Why are we Southerners like
LazaruS?"
The guests-they were all Union men,
by the way-suggested many answers.
The Southerners were like Lazarus be-
cause they were poor, because they ate
of the crumbs from the rich mans table;
Observation-Disclosures of everything anybody
could guess
NO" said the bishop, you're ell
wrong. We're like Lazarus because"
and he smiled blandly, because we've
been licked by dogs
A roar of laughter went round at that,
for the bishops utter unreconstructcd-
ness was always one of his charms.
Everybody laughed but one mottled-faced
man, who became very indignant.
''Well," he snorted, eff you think we're
dogs, why in-not earth-have you come
up mere to beg our money-for the
money of dogs?"
The bishop chuckled.
"My notified friend" said he, ''the hair
of the dog is good for the bite. That's
why I've come"
Tramp-"Please, mum, can't you help
a poor man wild a large family, mum
Me wife an children are starvin', num-
Benevolent Lady-"Good gracious! I'll
go see them at once"
Tramp-''If y'd. please give me 10
cents, mum, I'd
oI, Al
quickly. There is not a minute to lose
My. my! Where are they?"
Please, mum, it's too far to
walk They re-they're in the old coun-
try, mum."-New York Weekly.
''The nervous strain on the engineer of
a fast train is something enormous said
one of them the other day to a Detroit
Free Press writer. Not only the lives
of the passengers are at stake, but there
is the constant fear of running over
some one on the track. An accident. no
matter how innocent the engineer, is al
ways a kind of hoodOo.
What was my worst accident? | shall
never forget it. If it had been traced
on my mind by streak of lightning it
couldn't have made a more lasting i'm
preston. 1t happened one bright moon
light night in November. We were spin
ming over the rails at a full speed across
country, where there were few people
passing at that time of night, when /
loked out and saw tie figure of man
lying across the track not ten feet in
front of the engine. l stopped as quick
as possible. but too late of course. We
had run over him, and the lifeless body
was under the wheels.
''We got out to look for him, and found
his hat a piece of his coat sleeve and one
of his shoes, but the rest seemed to be
further back under the train. / backed
up the engine and got out to look again.
There lay the body. l nearly tainted
when l saw its distorted form l felt
like a murderer.
did [ know the man? No, not per-
sonaly. He was a scarecrow from a
neighboring cornfeld.'
Sir Henry Irving, at a supper given in
his honor recently at the Arts club
Manchester, told how, chatting with
Tennyson soon after he had received his
ennoblement, he said to him: 81 can't
call you lord" Said Tennyson: 81 can't
help it; only did it for the sake of the
boy"
Frank Dewey, whom so many Wash
ingtonians know as the Berlin CORE
spondent of several American newspa-
pers, tells story of the German En-
peror which l am quite sure you have not
heard. 1t happened on the Imperial
yacht. The kaiser wanted a glass of
beer. and a sailor WIS ordered to fetch
him one. The man was new to the
yacht, and the presence of the Emperor
completely overcame him. In his EN-
barrassment, he stumbled and spilled part
of the beer.
"Ah," said the Emperor, 81 see you do
not know how to do it. Come, / will
show you how to bring the kaiser a glass
of beer"
Whereupon he rose from his chair
made the sailor take his seat, and went
below for glass Of beer. Presently he
returned, walked across the deck with
dignified ease, and with a low bow, pre-
sented the drink to the sailor. The sailor
had quite recovered his composure He
put forth his hand and took the glass
''To the kaiser!' he said. and drank il
off. And the kaiser-well, it's a story
the kaiser tells on himself
"Children, I hope YOU peeled the an