davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
HUMOROUS.

MFRS. P~ancake-'I can't see why
great. big fellow like you should beg"
Hungry Hank-'Well. mum. l s'pose
me size helps To gimme al appetite"-
Truth.
The whiskers Of the walrus eye
tend three or four inches from ne
snout. 1t would appear that the wal
rus aims to be the popuiist of the sea-
Boston Transcript.
On His Guard.-Dr. Powder-"Ahi
How r you to-day, Mr.. Glimp"
Glimp-"Do you ask as an inquiring
friend or as my family physician? p
Philadelphia North American.
1.-THE writer'sname must accompany
every communication" said the editor
to the man who had handed in a little
piece signed Constant Reader.""I see,"
replied the man. You don't want to
get the world involved in controversy
about the authorship of n second series
of Junius letters."-Pittsburgh Chron-
icle Telegraph.
-Woman's Way.-"You women" said
he. in the peculiarly exasperating way
a mar has Of saying those two words,
you women buy bargain things because
they are cheap" I'VE do not" said
she. 1--WE buy cheap things because
they are bargains" The distinction
was almost too subtle for the blunder-
ing observation-disclosures, but il was there
indianapolis journal.
ALI She Wanted.-"My dear mad
nm.' said the professor of music, your
daughter has TO sense of melody and
no instinct for time. She couldn't play.
And she has no voice, therefore she
cannot expect TO sing" well, OK
course" was the complacent reply,
.'those facts are drawbacks, but you
can go on giving her Lessons, just tho
same. 1 don't care about her perform
ing or singing, as it would maybe take
her away from home. All / want is for
her to learn enough to make n comfort
able living as a teacher."-Washington
Star.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30

The young postmaster of q villag,
was hard ut work in his Office when q
gentle tap was heard upon the door and
in stepped a blushing maiden of 10 will
a money order. which she wished
cashed. She handed it. with a bashful
smile. to the official, who, after closely
examining il, gave her the money il
called for. At the same time he asked
her If she had read what was written
on the margin of the order.
mo. 1 have not" she replied, "for
cannot make it. out. Will you please
read it for me?"
The young postmaster read as fol.
lows: II send you ten shillings and a
dozen kisses"
CHANGING at the bashful girl. he said:
"Now. 1 have paid you the money and
/ suppose you want the kisscs?"
YES" she said, IF he has sent me
any kisses l want them, too"
1t is hardly necessary to say that the
balance Of the order was promptly paid
and in n scientific manner.
On reaching home the delighted
maiden remarked to her mother:
Mother. this postofice system OF
ours Is n great thing. developing more
ard more every year. and each new
feature seems 10 be the best. Jimmy
sent me a dozen kisses along with the
money order and the postmaster gave
me 20. II beats the special delivery
system all hollow."-Tit-Bits.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30

Mr.. Parsons said that the details
of Mr.. Warszawiak's confession would
not he published unlessthe missionary
in his defiant tone.
South Africa is anxious 10 have q
real university of its own. The Cape
university is simply an examining body
like the London university, and tits pro-
posed TO change it into a teaching uni
vcrsity. The Bocrs of the Cape Colony
wish the examinations to he held in
Dutch as well as in English.
between 20 and so American
are registered in the University of Ber-
~. although the faculty does not u
tenance the admission of women TO the
lectures. The number Of women stu
dents at Zurich Is now about $50, and
they are beginning TO agitate for the
same rights as the men students; and
il is only n matter of time when they
will receive them.
Mrs. Hannah G. Solomon, the first
woman in the history of Judaism to act
rs rabbi. recently filled the pulpit of
Sinai temple. Chicago. Mrs. Solomon
came 10 the pulpit. unrolled her manu-
script. and proceeded much as DIR.
Hirsch might have done, save that she
read. She made the work of the Council
of Jewish Women her theme. and was
epiyrammatic and logical.
A Polish chemist named Eisenberg
IS said to have invented an anesthetic
which volatilizes rapidly on exposure
10 the mir, rendering the persons near
unconscious for n long time. A pellet
broken under a mans nose will put him
to sleep for four hours. 1t is asserted
that in warfare bombs charged with
this material will make large bodies OF
an enemy incapable of resistance.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30

The thing which the laundryman said
was that Hong Fat was a bad man. and
that he must give himself up to be held
by him, Charley Go Lee, for the white
man who would give a reward in money,
and that which Hong Fat said was wild
and animal like and unintelligible. and
the W. enemies grasped at each other,
and the fight was on.
Charley saw that his foe was thin
and pale and weak TO look upon, but he
did not see that he was a maniac, with
the strength of a maniac. ever count.
ing the broken rib as n hindrance. The
long, snaky. wasted arms of the fugitive
of the desert closed around the washer.
mans waist, and even as Charley
hooked his own arm about the neck OF
the runaway to choke him and subju-
gate him, the train whistle was heard
around the curve. The laundryman
knew its import, and tried to tug him.
self and his prisoner off the line OF
track. but Hong Fat clencehed the
harder and dragged his foe with him
to the space between the rails. where
they wallowed and shrieked. Charley
in fear and the desert man In crazed
rage.
Thus their quarrel ended.
What originally started the feud nc
man knows, as told you in the begin.
ning.-Chicago Record.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
hANNA'S OUTLOOK GLOOMY.
Democrats May Control the Nest
Ohio Legislature.

The recent municipal elections in
Ohio, resulting in democratic Victories
everywhere, have rendered que un-
certain the complexion of tie legisla-
turc To he chosen in that state in No
vember. Politicians of both parties
naturally are discussing the situation
with deep interest, for IL is TO be re-
lnembcrcd that the new legislature will
elect a successor to Senator Hanna. IL
is asserted by democrats and notdenied
by republicans that the democratic pros
rect Of carrying the Legislature and
electing n senator have been considera-
bly, frightened by the test of strength
shown in the Ohio city elections.
Two democrats have their eye on the
senatorship. Both of them are rich,
ambitious and great hustlers, and
neither will stop TO count the cost with
such a prize in view. These are ex-
Senator Brice and John II. Mclean. OF
the Cincinnati Enquirer. Both will
pitch in from this time on. In fact,
both did pitch in weeks ago. They and
all their friends are much encouraged
by the present situation.
Mark Hanna is desperately in earnest
in the endeavor to succeed himself,
and as his barrel is n good-sized one,
IL will be on tap from now right along.
Hanna is almost always in n talkative
mood. just now he appears to have
relapsed into a thoughtful strain and
evinces no eagerncss TO discuss the les
son OF TIE spring elections in Ohio. 1t
is understood thatthe republican mayor
of Cleveland, just reelected, is a bitter
personal enemy Of Hanna and carries
his animosity so far as to prefer a dem
ocrat in the United States senate to
the friend of Mckinley. This gentleman
is said to control the organization of
the dense republican constituency of
which the city Of Cleveland is the cen
ter. This means a fight against Hanna
in his own immediate household and
predicts the success of the democratic
Legislative ticket in hat political di-
vision. The republican boss of Gin
cinnati was washed out of sight in that
city, and it is scarcely anticipated that
he will emerge from the debris in con
dition To put up any kind of a fight
in November. The republican factional
dissensions, together with the general
party discomfort so plainly visible,
produce a situation of corresponding
citation and depression in the demo-
cratic and republican ranks. 1t will
make the coming state campaign n
OF the most lively interest, not only
locally, but nationally. The republic
an chances for picking up a senator in
another state. which might be named,
are fully offset by the imminent pros
pect OF dropping one in Ohio.-St. Louis
Republic.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
THE TARIFF AND TRUSTS.
Protected Interests Arc Allowed to
Write the Schedules.

1t is becoming known that the agent
Of each protected interest wrote the
schedule in the Dingley tariff bill. The
sugar schedule rs it now stands was
largely written by Scion Humphreys,
Pierre Smith, John Farr, William III.
Lefferts, Charles P. Armstrong and
John l.. Searles, treasurer Of the Amer
lean Sugar Refining company.
Thomas Harrison, for the Manufac'
turing Chemists association, wrote liz
substance the chemical schedAle.
II. b. Newton. president of the Ma.
tional Association of the Brick Manu-.
facturers, prepared section SO of the
bill.
Green glass manufacturers wrote SCI
ton "a, imposing a duty upon green
and colored bottles, and their demand
was literally complied with.
Simon Burns wrote section 90, and his
language was followed word for word
Manufacturers of spectacles. eye
| glasses, lenses, opera glasses, etc, had
their schedule rs prepared by them
selves adopted without the change of a
single word.
Cotton spinncrs and cotton manufac
turers demanded certain rates in writ
ing, and their demands were honored.
The section of the cutlery schedule
referring TO pocket knives and table
knives was prepared a month before it
was given out by the committee. II
was in the possession of a certain manu-
facturer and he showed it to friends OF
his in New York and other cities weeks
before anyone else knew what that sec
ton was TO be. AT the same time tie
majority of the ways and means com
mittee had decided TO submit the retro
active amendment.
1t is a fact that the wool manufac.
turers of the country knew on the
ing of January 6 what the wool schedule
vas to be. The present boom in sugar
is directly traceable TO the fact that the
retroactive clause is to be used to put
up the price of sugar to the trade, while
the trust never intends to pay a cent OF
increased duty on sugars imported prior
to the date the new bill becomes a law
Chicago Chronicle.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
Old Theater Tickets.

During the last few years a large
number Of small metal plates have becr
found Mt diggings in Athens and Pira.
Gus. and they were commonly consid.
cred to be small symbols. The Greek
Archaeological, %Svoronos, has now dem.
onstrated beyond doubt that the metal
plates were used as tickets of admission
to the Theatcr of Dyonisos about the
time of Lycurgus. The images on these
theater tickets. certainly the oldest oil
their kind in existence. show either the
head of Pallas Athcne. turned to the
left. or the head OF n lion. and the let
tcrs of the alphabet in single, double or
triple arrangement. 1t appears, there.
fore, that the laws introduced by Lycur
gus, which had such a great influence
upon Athenians in all walks of life, ex'
tended also to the admission to theaterx
which was also probably regulated b.
him.-Philadelphia Record.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
I AM so GLAD.

lam SO glad / can forget
The follies OF the past,
The tears that once my eyelids vet
The skies once overcast.
lam so glad Ina all the grief
OF all the far-on years
Has found In time a sweet relief
or vanished with my tears.
I'm glad the troubles 1 have had
No lorger make me sorrowful.
am SO very glad.
I'm glad tina 1 cannot forget
The pleasures of the past,
The tender eyes that mine have mot
For days that did not last.
lam so glad that olden times
FIJI me with new delight,
THAT roses of remembered Juncs
continually are bright.
I'm glad the pleasant things I've had
Grow every day more beautiful;
am so very glad.
am so glad that Ill or good
Is from the Fathers hand
Dropped down. / would not II I could
Reverse what lie has planned.
I'm glad that One who knows the way
Is marking IL for me.
And that lie does II every day,
Just as 1t ought 10 be.
Though future days be good or bad
The plans OF God are wonderful,
And | am very glad.
Julia H.. May. in Chicago Advance
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
OHIO AND THE DiNGLEY BILL
Protection Not Favored In Mck1n.
ley's Own state.


There is some apprehension manifest,
ed in the near west AS to the possible
effect of the Dingley folly on the polit-
zeal fortunes of Senator Marcus A. Han.
ma. that distinguished gentleman who
rejoiced not long ago in the fattering
assurance that he was the whole thing.
but who. for some reason or other and
for some time past, has been hiding his
brilliant light under something. II
would be a great misfortune, Of course,
IL Mr.. Hanna should come TO grief po-
litically, and when his warm friends
contemplate the didoes that Ohio cut
up last week they are fain To be great
~ worried on his account. The Chicago
Tribune. a very stanch republican pa
per, feels moved TO say:
Senator Hanna term expires In March.
1899 II would be a misfortune II the next
legislature elected in Ohio should be con-
trolled by the democrats, and leave Sena-
tor Hanna out I'm the cold. But there Is no
telling what Ohio will DO II a tariff bill
Is enacted whose duties weigh more heav-
lily on consumers than those OF the law OF
l&l"
In spite of its strong and answering
repuDllcanlSm the rlDune WHICH, ny
the way, is a very able paper, is COR
daily opposed to the Dingley folly.
1t notes that in certain sections, where
the tariff issue was forced. Mckinley
majorities were pr~oportionally smaller
than ia other sections, and it remarks
that 1.-THE tariff vas not q winning card
last fall" and sit does not seem TO have
been one this spring" 1t points to the
way Ohio voters went at the g. O. p.
and dashed it, in spite of the Dingley-
ties generosity to Ohio, they claiming
that the Buckeye state had received
especial consideration at their hands
And SO it goes. The Dingley folly is
challenging considerably more and
more severe condemnation than the Me-
Kinley folly challenged a few years
ago, with this difference, that republic
an d"enunciation Of the latter was rs
nothing to that which now scorches the
Dingley policy. The moral OF all OF
which is that republican protection is a
good thing to put republicanism on the
shelf. Nothing is wholly bad.-Bing'
hamton On. W Leader.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
FAsClNATIONs OF POIsoNs.
Men Who Make Cyanide Of Potassium
Are strangely Tempted tn Eat IL.

Men Who Make yanid of Potassium
Arc strangely Tempted to Eat IL.
There is a factory in London that
makes only the deadliest poisons known
10 chemistry. Last year it produced
1000 tons of cynaide of potassium. Five
grains of this is sufficient to kill a man.
In one room of the factory a visitor
found tons OF this deadly poison. 1t re-
sembles very closely white crystallized
sugar. The visitor remarked to tho
manager: 1T looks good enough to
eat"
"Ah," replied the manager. grayely,
"that is just one of the dangers we have
to guard against. For some inexplica-
lie reason cyanide of potassium exer-
cises n remarkable fascination over tho
men engaged in its manufacture. They
are haunted by a constant and cver-re-
curing desire toeatit. They are perfect
" alive 10 the fact, however. thattog give
way to the craving would mean instant
death, and are consequently usually
able to resist it. But not always. Dur
ing the time 1 have been here three
of our best and stcadiest workmen have
committed suicide in this strange man
ner. impelled thereto apparently by no
cause ave this mysterious, horrible
longing. / myself have felt the same
strange lust when i have beer long ex-
posed to the cyanide fumes, and have
had 10 leave the works for a time in con-
sequence. So well is this curious fact
recognized that there are always two
men at work together in this branch of
our business. and a jar of ammonia,
which. as you may know. is the anti
dote TO the poison, is kept constantly
near at hand
Apart from this remarkable infatus.
ton. which may be likened to the de-
sire experienced by many people when
standing on the brink OF a precipice
TO throw themselves down. the manm-
facture of potassium cyanide is not par
ticularly dangerous. Neither is it un-
healthy. In fact. it is asserted that
men have gone into the cynaide house
iii and debilitated and in n short time
nave been restored to robust health
n. y. World.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

The municipal elections Indicate
pretty plainly what is thought of Ding.
leyism.-Utica Observer.
1t Is as easy to tax the people rich
as IL il to increase the size of an orange
by sucking out the juice.-Los Angeles
Herald.
On n moderate estimate the $780,.
100000 which the Dingley tariff is ex.
pected to raise for the government viii
cost the people $1,000. ooo, 900 in ad-
vanced prices.-Prcvidencc Journal.
The home cities Of Mckinley,
Foraker, Hanna, Alger, Bushnell, Billy
Mason and other goldite, high-tarif re.
publican leaders have repudiated and
rcbuked them most emphaticully.-Illi-
nois State Register.
MIR. Hanna has formally and firm
ly refused to attach any importance to
the recent municipal election results.
Mr.. Hanna is enough of a politician to
shut his eyes when he doesn't care to
view unpleasant things.-N. Y. Journal.
1t is notonly Chicago, Canton and
Cincinnati that have filed their protests
against the Dingley tariff bill. Italy,
Germany and the Netherlands have en-
tered diplomatic objection, with other
countries to hear from. Mr.. Dingley
does not seem to have pleased either in.
siders or outsiders Rec.
ord.
No wonder the tariff thinkers are
having trouble with reciprocity. Reel.
procity Is in conflict with the high tariff
idea. Real reciprocity is free trade. and
Is as damaging to the tariff scheme a.
the open bounty. II the tariff theory Ia
OF any value the tariff should be taken
straight. IL anything naturally %
crooked q be taken that way.-SA
Louis Post~Dispotch.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
THE SPRING ELECTIONS.
A Sigma Protest Against the Mckfn-
ley dmInistrntiOn

Local elections in off years are not
always indicative of popular opinion
OIL broader questions of public policy,
but when they show a marked revul-
sion against the party victorious at the
last preceding general election, we
agree with the st. Louis Post-Dispatch
that it is difficult TO overestimate their
significance and Importance.
And seldom has such n rcvulsion been
more marked than this year. 1t began
in the Connecticut town elections, was
emphasized in those of New York and
New Jersey. found an echo in Iowa,
and on Monday and Tuesday Of this
week had its most significant express
sion in Ohio and Michigan, WISDOM
sin and Illinois The great republican
cities Of Cincinnati and Detroit and
Chicago and Milwaukee have re-
versed, with tremendous democratic
majorities, their verdict of last year.
Elsewhere in these states the reaction
is equally marked and equally signif-
can't.
And there is nothingcf sectional poll
tics in this revolt against the party in
power. AS all sections have suffered
alike from the continued business de-
precision and the delayed prosperity
wave, so all sections voice the protest
against these conditions. And il rcpub-
lican faulty persists, as it is now per-
sisting. in forcing upon the country a
new bill of abominations for the pro-
lection of trusts and the oppression Of
the people. and il the democrats make
no mistakes and sacrifice nothing of
conviction to supposed expediency, Mr..
Mckinley will find. in the last two years
Of his term, a congress with 100 demo-
cratic majority on his hands.-Illinois
State Register.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30
CHARM FOR wHoOPINo COUGH.
Curious Supcrstitions That Prevail
In Some Parts of ireland.

In Some Parts of ireland.
w. X. Fanu. a writer on some of the
phases Of Irish life. tells of two ways
in which the simple peasantry Of that
country treat the whooping cough,
which is generally known among them
MS chin cough. One is this: If anyone
should be seen riding on a piebald horse
the father or mother of the person af-
fected runs after him. crying: You
that ride the piebald horse. what's good
for the chin cough?" Whatever the
rider suggests is procured. and given
TO the sufferer. This remedy is con-
sidered "A very sure cure by the peas
antry. but is difficult to procure, as a
man riding a piebald horse is not met
with every day.
The other mode of curing the disease
is not considered so certain, but can
more easily be procured, hat Is, pass
ing the child three times over and under
n donkey. Some donkeys are better
than Others. i remember. saysa Belfast
correspondent of tire Lancet, a famous
one in the southwestern part of County
Down. in which the rustics had great
faith. ard lie Fanu tells Of one in Coun-
~ Cork so famous for curative powers
that the owner. Ned Sullivan supported
himself and a large family on what this
remarkable donkey earned for him.
This man used to ~perambulate the city
of Cork. and the surrounding neighbor-
hood with his donkey. crying out: "Will
anyone come under my donkey for the
chin cough"
Two other charms which I have
known TO be used in County Down for
this discase-and it is curious that
%whooping coughs and erysipelas tthc
rose, rs the Irish peasants often call it)
are affections most treated by charms
are the administration TO the patient
of two kinds of foods (so.id and liquid
obtained from two first cousins who are
married. and soup made from the tails
Of mice. Staying. several years ago,
with an uncle and aunt. who were full
cousins. / was amused at the parents
of children with the %whooping cough
coming TO them for two different arti-
Giles of food for their sick children
Chicago Chronicle.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1897-04-30

Military journals express interest in
nm invention by which it is proposed to
arm a self-moving car. driven by q
16 horsepower engine, with two rapid
fire cannon. mounted or pivots SO MS to
sweep in all directions. Having four
broad-tircd whee,A it is claimed that
the car can run across IA level country
earring fences, Of c~oursc) at the rate
of IS miles an hour. Terrible pictures
are drawn OF the havoc that such cars
could make ON a battlefield. Only one
nan Is needed 20 operate the a and its
cannon. and he is protected by strong
steel shields-Youth's Companion.