davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

A sparrow flew into one of the large
rooms at the Burlington shops at
Burlington, Iowa, the other day, and.
getting too near one of the wheels,
was sucked in. The workmen saw il
and supposed that it was instantly
killed, as the wheel was revolving at
the rate of 1870 revolutions a minute,
When the machinery was shut down
at noon a gentle chirp was heard from
the wheel, and when one of the work
men looked the sparrow was there,
still alive. 1t had chung to the
strengthening rod inside the wheel,
and was so dazed it could not fly. 1t
was picked up and placed on a table,
where it recovered in short time and
flew away. The wheel made $1,000
revolutions while the bird was cling
ing to it, and the sparrow had Travelled
a little more than seventy-three miles
in that manner. st. Louis Globe
Democrat.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Dog Driven to Suicide.

Henri Laurent, an actor of Chicago,
says that the Salvation Aamy is re.
sponsible for the disappearance Of his
dog, a valuable Irish setter. The last
seen of the dog was when it started
on a mad run down Huron street to-
ward the lake. Mr.. Laurent says he
thinks the dog was driven to suicide.
Members of the Salvation Army were
holding song service at Clark and
Huron streets when Mr.. Laurent came
along with his dog The animal was
frightened at the sound of the drum
and tambourine and ran across the
street. Mr.. Laurent followed the dog
whistling and coaxing him to come
back. But the dog wouldn't return.
A hallelujah chorus burst from the
members of the army, and, putting
his tail between his legs, the dog
started for the lake. bowling at every
bound. Chicago Times Herald.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Uh.rle, Kean Capped Il.

When Charles Kean was playing the
part of Richard III. his fearful grimaces
in character paralyzed all the other ac-
tors with fright, much to his amuse-
ment.
On one occasion a new man had to
take the part of the sentinel who
awoke Richard. When asked, who is
there?" he had to say: Its l, my
lord; the village cock hath twice pro-
claimed the hour of morn"
But as Kean was making such fear
full grimaces and scowling at him, the
poor fellow forgot his part, and could
only stammer: "'Tis I, my lord; it's !,
my lord; the village cock! 'Tis l. my
lord, the-the village cock!"
BY this time there was a decided tit
ter all over the house, and Kean then
said: "Then why the mischief don't
you crow" which, needless to say,
brought down the house.-Tit-Bits.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Ancient ThermopyIae.

An officer of the English Intelli-
gence Department reports that in
spite of the fact, which is we'll known,
that the sea has receded since ancient
times, the stragetical position of this
ancient pass is still immensely strong.
The alternative route by Deleghi,
which crosses the hills n mile and a
half north of the springs by well en-
gipeered zigzags, is equally capable
of defense, and leads into a country OF
most difficult character. Either
pass might be held indefinitely by
5000 men. The coast road is abso'
lutely commanded from the heights
so that comparatively small force
would render it impossible, while the
fiat lowland lying near the sea is
marshy and intersected by dykes
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
$|00 To Any Man.
WILL PAY 500 FOR ANY CASE
OF Weakness in Men They Treat ane.
Fail to Cure.

OF Weakness in Men They Treat anc.
Fail to Cure.
An Omaha Company places for the fiIst.
time before the public MAGICAL THAI
MBNT for the cure of Lost Vitality, Nervous
and Sexual Weakness and Restoration OF
Life Force in old and young men. No
WORKOUT French remedy; contains no
PHOSPHORUS or other Harmful, drugs. Ii il
a WONDERFUL TREATMENT magical in its
effects-positive in its cure. All readers,
who are suffering from weakness that
blights their life, causing that mental and
physical suffering peculiar to Lost Man
hood, should write to the STATE MED1CALs
COMPANY, Omaha, Neb, and they will
send you absolutely FREE, a valuable
paper on these diseases, and positive proofs.
of their truly MAGICAL TREATMENT. Thous-
ands of men, who have lost all hope Of ..
cure, are being restored by them to psr~
feet condition.
This MAGICAL TREATMENT may be taken.
at home under their directions, or they VIII
pay railroad fare and hotel bills to all wiics
prefer to 60 there for treatment, if they !
fail to cure. They are perfectly reliable;
have no Free Prescriptions, Free Cure,
Free Sample, or c. o. ID. fake. They have
$250000 capital, and guarantee to cure, r;
every case they treat or refund every dob
lar; or their charges may be deposited in a ,
bank to be paid to them when a cure 10
effected. Write them today
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
shake Into Your shoes.

Aliens Foot Ease, a powder for the
feet. It cures painful, swollen, smart
ing feet and instantly takes the sting
out of corns and bunions. 1t is the
greatest comfort discovery of the age.
Aliens Foot-Ease makes tight-ftting
or new shoes feel easy. 1t Is certain
cure for sweating, callous and hot,
tired, aching feet. Try 1t today. Sold
by all druggists and shoe stores. BY
mail for Csc in stamps. Trial package
free. Address Allen S. Olmstead. lie
Roy, N. Y.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
A Colorado Summer

Differs from summers elsewhere. The
altitude of Colorado is one to three
miles; heat is grateful, not enervating.
The Rocky Mountains of Colorado are
magnificent To be out of doors in
this ideal region, hunting, fishing and
mountain climbing, is n fine tonic for
the tired. Illustrated book, "A Col
orado Summer" mailed free by adj
dressing w. j. Black, G. p. A., A. L.
& S. +. Ry., Topeka, Kan, or Geo. w.
Hagenbuch, p. & u. A., Kansas City,
Mo. The best way to go is via the
Santa Fe Route.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Who are injured by the use Of coffee.
Recently there has been placed in all
the grocery stores new preparation
called GRAIN-O, made of pure grains,
that takes the place of coffee. The
most delicate stomach receives it with
out distress, and but few can tell 1t
from coffee. 1t does not cost over 4
rs much. Children may drink it with
great benefit. Is cents and rs cents
per package. Try it. Ask for
GRAIN-O.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
CURED IN THREE MONTHS.

Knoxville, Tioga Co., Pa,
DR.. ]. c. Hoffman. Isabella Bldg. Chi
cago, ILL.,:
Dear Sir:-Your medicine has cured
me of the Morphine Habit In 3 months.
/ have no desire for the drug. l had
taken opiates for more than thirty
500 years. am now most 81 years old,
and feel very grateful for your kind
ness to me.
GARDNER MATTESON,
Care of Mrs. Ben Boom.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

''It strikes me-" said the severe-look-
ing stranger, that this club was or
ganized simply to sell beer to the
members"
mot at ALL" said the cheerful wait
er, who was handing around the foam
ing schooners. "One of the rules for
bids members to drink beer on the
premises. and every time man breaks
that rule we fine him five cents, -
Puck.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
PROOF

VI told you he didn't know any thing
about real mining life" said the genu'
inc forty-miner
Bat he talks very convincingly
aboat 1.-THE must have had some eS'
perience."
mo, sir. He hasn't had any of the
real thing"
''How do you know?"
HE says he wants to go to Klon-
dyke. Washington Star.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

-Pshaw! Don't tell me that Watson
is a cycling enthusiast. He is still
dumb to the real joys of the sport"
Hes got all the latest improve
ments on his wheel, hasn't he?"
Eyes, but his cyclometer got out of
whack yesterday, and he rode for fully
ten minutes before discovering that it
didn't register. "-Cleveand Leader.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

"See me 20 between those fell
lows. They wont know what struck
them" gleefully cried the demon
scorcher as he plunged headlong down
the dark country road
But as he crashed into something
that felt like an express train and
found himself and his wheel flying
over the fence in splinters, he knew
that what he had taken for two BIZ
cycles were lamps on either side of a
horseless carriage.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Read the ements.

You will enjoy this publication much
better if you will get into the habit OF
reading the advertisements; they will
afford a most interesting study and
will put you in the way of getting
some excellent bargains. Our adver'
tisers are reliable; they send what
they advertise
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
visitors to Lincoln Park in Chicago

viii be delighted with the souvenir book
of this beautiful spot now being distributed
by the Chicago, Milwaukee e. st. Pau
Railway Company. 1t is n magnificent
publication of 81 pages full to overhowing
with delicious half tone pictures of one OF
Creations most charming places of resort
for citizens of the Great Republic.
No stranger visiting Chicago should be
without a copy of the souvenir of Lincoln
ing twenty-five ,25) cents, in coin or post.
age st;>nps, to Geo H. Heafford, general
passenger agent, 40 Old Colony Building,
Chicago, Ill.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

A dormant liver, or you will suffer all the
fortunes incident to prolonged bill ious at
tack Constipation. headaches, dysp. psi
right side, will admonish you of negle ct
Discipline the recalcitrant organ at once
with HoStetter's Stomach Btters. and ex-
pect prompt relief Malaria, rheumatism,
kidney complaint, nervousness and de bility
are thoroughly removed by the Bitters
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
before Taking.

A queer advertisement in cee of the
daily newspapers, the other day, called
for: "Some job printing in exchange
for dental work" Just imagine a
printer out of work having any desire
to have his teeth placed in eating con.
dition!
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
$1,000 Given Away.

Andy p. Whitmer of East Chicago. Ind,
writes: 'Iwould not take $1,000 for your
book, DR.. Kay's Home Treatment if |
could not get another 1t has 6S pages
'and Sc valuable recipes. For ten days we
will send one free. Address DR.. b. j.
Kay Medical Co., Omaha. Neb.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

They have law in Vienna which
cbliges circus proprietors to give thel
performances exactly as they are pic
tured out in the Autographs"
by George, / wish that sort of law
could be made to apply to the girls
who claim to wear the charming bath
ing costumes We see on the woman 8
page" Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

The kingdom of Heaven is at hand
just where we are. 1t is just as near
us as our work is. for the gate of
Heaven for each soul lies in the en-
deavor to do that work perfectly. w.
c. Garnett
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

How is 1t that you sons head
seems to be drawn to one side? Only
year ago he was straight as an In
DIAM
Il can only account for It through
the fact that he did his counting on q
tandem. "-Detroit Press.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Half the cruelty in the world is the
direct result of stuped incapacity to
put ones self in the other mans place.
John Fiske,
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Miss Heftilass thinks that a woman
ought to have just as many cares and
responsibilities as man." said ono
young man.
when did she say that" asked the
other.
Yesterday evening, while she let me
do all the pedaling uphill on tan
dem. Washington Star.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
The Widows Bite.

Dawson declares that If he marries
at oil he will wed widow"
Eyes, that is like him: he is too lazy
to do any of the counting himself.
Nt-Bits.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
All In His Head.

Professor-Give me the names of the
bones that form the human skull.
Medical student-Ive got them all in
my head, but 1 can't recall their
names. Tit-Bits.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Proat,ng by HI. w..lns..,

How does Berkeley find it possible to
wear such good clothes? Surely his
salary doesn't warrant It,"
why, he manages, in some way, to
occasionally get pass to the base ball
grounds for his tailor" Cleveland
Leader.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

"You no longer recognize Miss
Barnes"
mo; i can't afford to-"
"Why nOt?"
''She IS still riding a '96 wheel, while
I have '97 model" Chicago Post.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Such as are thy habitual thoughts,
such will also be the character of thy
mind, for the soul is dyed by the
thoughts. Marcus Aurelius.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Very Fine and Large.

Amy-"And how do you like my Juo
bilee hat?"
Ada--"Oh, it puts all of us in the
shade. "-Pick-Me-Up.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

"Edgah is down with bwain fevah.A
what caused it,"
"Twying to undahstand the new golf
rules. "--Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

A well-plumed song has market
value in excess of the most weighty
and deep drawn sigh ever raised Pet
er Peculiar.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Gratitude,

I can never feel too grateful to
Jimson."
why, what's he ever done for you?'
He didn't give me ticket to go and
hear his daughter deliver her essay on
The Immortality Of the SOUL at the
commencement exercises. "-Cleveland
Leader. +.a' -
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

The Hunting and Fishing Grounds
of Colorado quickly and comfortably
reached via Santa Fe Route. Low
rates during the season. Write w. j.
Black, G. p. A., Topeka, Kan, or
Geo. w. Hagenbuch, P. & I. A.. Kan
sas City, Mo-, for copy of A Colorado
Summer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

There is nothing that makes u man
suspect much more than to know
little Bacon.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

That pretty young widow, Mrs. Tol.
liver, Is an advocate Of the Kneipp
cure. l saw her walking in the grass
barefooted this morning."
THAT makes her grass widow,
doesn't t?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Are You ready for the hot weather,
Mrs. Nobbs?"
No; haven't hid the Thermometer
vet"
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

According to prof Huxley, an acre
of good fishing ground will yield more
food in a week than an acre of the
best land will yield in year.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Hot, dry flannel, if applied to the
face and neck will relieve jumping
toothache.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

OF the future we know nothing. of
the past little of the present less; the
mirror is too close to our eyes, and
our own breath dims it. Landor
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

The tomb of Mohammed is covered
with diamonds, sapphires and rubies
valued at $4,000, 900. y
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Those who always speak well Of
women do not know them enough;
those who always speak i'll of them
do not know them at all. Leburn.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
1t Seemed to Fit.

Shakespeare must have had Misa
Fussy's homemade root beer in mind"
"When?"
when he talked about something
being stale, fiat and Improbable.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Isn't the emperor OF Germany the
grandson of Emperor William the
First?"
Yes; but he thinks he is the great
grandson. Puck
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

No one ever got into trouble by TAX.
ing his leave.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

No-To- Bao for Fifty Cents.
Guaranteed tobacco habit cure. makes veal
men strong, blood pure. &c. 81. All druggists.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

DR.. Kay's Renovator, renovates and re-
stores as good as new the whole system.
Trial size. 25c. See advt.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Large newspapers are better than
heavy wooden blankets for excluding
the air from ice or a pitcher of ice
water.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

shall recommend Piso's Cure for Con.
sumption far and wide. - Mrs. Mulligan.
Plumste d. Kent. England. Nov. 6. 1895.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Educate Your Bowels With Cascarets.
Candy Cathartc, cure constipation forever. 10c
II c. q. G. fail druggists refund money.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Mrs. WinslOw's Soothing Syrup
For children tcethng tine gums reduces imam
nation alays pain wind collie 90 cents bottle
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
Halls Catarrh Cure
Is taken internally. Price, Toe.

In France sixty-seven per cent OF
the people live on rye bread, only
.hirty-three per cent on wheat bread.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
ppon't Tobacco Spit and Smoke Your Life AVA

Toquit tobacco easily and forever. be mag
netic, full of life. nerve and vigor, take No
TO Is &c, the wonder worker, that makes weak
men strong. All druggists, SOC or 81. Cure
dress Sterling Remedy Co, Chicago or New
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

To Cure Constipation Forever.
Take Cascarets Candy Cathartics l0c or PIC
II G. G. c. fail to cure, druggists refund money.
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

Is the Oldest and best II Will break up Cold guickc
than anything else 1t is always reliable. Tryit
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06

A platform orator-the street car
Kansas agitator. [volume] (Garnett, Kan.) 1890-1905, 1897-08-06
No Opportunity to See.

Mother-Why don't you bring them
pigs feet? Hasn't the butcher got
'em?
Son-How could tell when he. kept
his shoes on all the time.
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-08-12
COL. PARSONS LONG RIDE.
His Commanding officer Doubted 1t,
ACCOMPLISHMENT

His Commanding officer Doubted Its
Accomplishment.
Col. Z. Bloss Parsons was breveted
general for distinguished services dur
ing the war.
A few days before the battle of Get
tysburg was fought Gen. Meade had an
important message to send to Gen.
Harding, 100 miles distant. AS the
route was through a country swarm
Ing with confederates the message was
written on tissue paper, that it might
DO swallowed in case the carrier was
captured.
The commander was in doubt re-
garding q suitable messenger, He sum
moned Gen. Davis to headquarters.
General, who is the hardest rider, as
well as the most trustworthy man in
the service?" asked Meade.
"Col. Parsons, sir" was the prompt
reply.
Send him to me at once"
1t was six o'clock on Monday night
when Gen. Meade gave the young Of
tioer his instructions. He was to ride
with all haste 70 Gen. Harding's head
quarters and return at once with an
answer.
The messenger retired. Two hum
dred miles were to be covered. The
roads were heavy, and they led through
the enemy's country.
Exactly at noon on the following day
Col. Parsons entered Gen. Meade's tent.
Tho latter's face grew purple with rage,
and he ripped out string of oaths.
us this the way you obey orders? p"
he Numbered. "What are you hanging
arolnd camp for9 You ought to be
with Gen, Harding BY this time
" have just returned from Gen.
Harding, sir"
"You lie!" exclaimed the exaspeFated
general.
Parsons face paled, and he dug the
nails in his hands to restrain himself.
Gen. Meade" he said, in voice that
i'll concealed his anger, "if you were
not my commanding officer. 1 would
knock you down for that insult"
Without the Formally of salute, he
turned on his heel and left the tent.
Neade afterward made an ample apol-
pgY.
Col. Parsons killed two horses and
went himself without q particle OF
food, For IS hours he was not out Of
the saddle.-N. Y. Sun.
"A $4,000 snuffbox has been stolen
from London salesroom. 4
Phillipsburg herald. [volume] (Phillipsburg, Kan.) 1882-1905, 1897-08-12
BEAUTY IN FURNITURE.
Artistic Shapes and Fine Wood Make
Attractive Display.

Artistic Shapes and Fine Wood Make
Attractive Display.
Nothing could be more tempting and
artistic than the furniture found in the
shops, The craze for old pieces is keen-
er than ever and the woman who is
furnishing her home signs for ma
hogany and antique oak, The tall, state
ly dressing case is a thing of the past,
or at least it's medieval parentage re-
moves it from favor. The small mirror,
perched on the top of an old-fashioned
sewing table or on low dressing table,
is the order of the hour. 1t has one
great advantage, which is that it neces-
states that fair danes should sit when
they arrange their locks. Few things
are more tiresome and unwholesome
than standing to comb and brush the
hair. Four-post bedsteads, carved and
canopied, and dainty spindle-legged ta-
bles and chairs embellish the most ups
to-date sleeping apartments. This is
truly an age of carving for all that Is
antique Quaint old washstands have
lowered china toilet sets sunken In
their tops, and Recamier lounges
weighted down with pillows occupy
space in charming boudoirs. Women no
longer answer letters at wee little writs
ing deslss-they also are of too recent
parentage-and their places are filed
by dignihed tall secretaries, with guam
titles of secret drawers and bookcase
above. A room recently furnished with
old mahogany has it's walls faced with
yellow denim. The paint is white and
the hardwood floor is stained to deep
green. On it are japanese rugs in tones
of green and yellow, The high post bed
is yelled with dotted muslin. A Rec
amier divan is placed at the foot of the
bed, and 1t is upholstered with old green
brocade. The windows are screened
with muslin curtains, and over them
hangs drapery Of green tissue silk,
The small chairs are covered with yels
low leather.-Cincinnati Commercials
Tribune