Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-06-05
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Tcm-ls Maude's hair golden? Ted
No. ite plaited.-Yale Record.
He-Miss Peavick's age IL telling
upon her. she-wha, ingrat.tude.-
Puck.
, 1dttle Man (golt enthusiastically
don't you play golf? Big Man (blase)-
Why. because I object to chasing Q
quinine pill around COW PASTURE
NdBits.
she-I think you had better send I'D
another rat-trap. John. He--But
bought one only the other day. She
tHpw, but there Is rat in that one.
Gd-Bits: Ss~x. .xx<a. Il
NKind Old Lady-To what do you at.
t1buie your uncomfortable appetite
for strong drink? IL It hereditary
Weary walker--No. mum: It's thirst
Philadelphia Record.
Sawyer seems to think good deal
Of himself" II should say SO: lie has
had Moorish curves cut IN his office
doorway so he can Sc. his head In and
ou."-Chicago Record.
Mrs. Jobber-Too bad the new cook
spoiled the steak: she is so young and
inexperienced. Won't you be satisfied
with kiss instead. dear? Mr.. Jobber
ALI right: call her in.--Judge.
"Why don't that European war
you've been predicting right along come
on. Mr.. Sportlyi" inquired his wife.
Il suppose the kaleidoscope people are
not ready."-Detroit Free Press.
Belinda. how do you treat n stupid
man who admires you;" "Really, I
don't know: when man adm!res me
never DO myself the injustice to con.
slider him stupid. Chicago Record.
"Mrs. Saver must feel that she was
very extravagant In buying that new
gown" What makes you think sol"
shes begun to argue that 1t will bs
the cheapest in the end" -Chicago
Journal.
Il hear that Judge Buckets is study.
ing undertaking" said the lean law.
yer. III he gets proficient" said the
fat lawyer. "he'll arrest the whole
town for contempt Of ourt."--lndiana.
polls Journal.
Herr Oil--Haf you heard dot dog Of
mine ate q tape.measu undt dledS
Herr Kut-1 suppose he died py inch.
-, nicht var? Herr Oll--Aber nit; hs
vent oudt In der alley und die by der
yard.-Columb!a Spectator.
ut was so dark In the parlor when
young DIR. Plummer came In that !
did not notice he had shaved of his
mustache." Didn't you? felt the
difference while you were getting o
llght."-Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Joncs-Sillibub has medicine which
lie declares Is sure cure for heart
disease. Sm!;h-Dld It cure hint
Jones-Yes. 1t gave him such fright.
full attack OF indigestion that he for.
go. all about his hcart.-IIarper's Ba.
gar.
~, Addison" Eyes, your excellen.
Cyl" II hope that the agriculturiste
will appreciate the beginning Of our
efforts In their behalf" "ln what
way. sir?" "Well. In sending Hay to
Eugland."-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tels.
graph.
DR.. Ende-There's nothing serious
the matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulcahey.
I think a little soap and water will do
him AZ much good as anything. Mrs.
Mulcahey--Yis. docther. an will d
give II { him befOor or afther his males,
Judge.
Mrs. Henpeck-Young Mrs. Bagley.
who was married on last Thursday
tells me her husband left almost I'm.
mediately for the West on business
trim Hcppeck (vic!ously--Yes; he writes
me that he finds married life q very
happy Observation-Disclosures North
American.
Parke-So strong II habit, they say
mans spirit goes right on doing thu
same thing after death that he did 10
life. Lane-That can't be true In your
case. Parke-Why not? IAne-I.ool
at the habit you have gotten into Of
shovellng the snow from your walk
The Jester.
"Oid man. you seem worried" "Wor
ried II no name for It. Brown Il com
ing around at 4 o'clock to pay me 49,
'"rh!nk he may not come" "Oh. he'll
come all right; but Jones Is duo q
4:l5 to try to collect $40 I owe him
suppose he suOulu Set thctS J"s' 30
was being paid by Brown"-Cincin
natl Enquirer.
"Ah. yes" said the soulful youni
man, II see signs of spring on ever!
hand nowadays" "Why, didn't know
you'd noticed It," declared the land
lady, as she threw shawl oser tn
Lorsehair lounge. through the seat o
which a long spiral Of heavy wire ha'
worn Its way.-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
II have always felt sorry for Noah,
said the large-hearted man. II don
see the need for IT," said the man OF tn
shrunken sympath!es. "Looks to m
as II Noah got of pretty WELL" "Bu
Just think Of II. When the waters sub
sided there was not soul left for hin
20 ask, Now, what did ! tell you !'"-
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Pawson-My sister IL worried I
death over her son Reginald. Sh
wants him to enter the ministry, hi
father wants him to 60 into business
while Reginald himself has got hi
mind set on being an actor, and say
nothing shall keep him from it, Mr.,