The aegis & intelligencer. [volume] (Bel Air, Md.) 1864-1923, 1897-05-07
VOL. XLU---NO, 10
VARIETIES.

-Preacher-The meek shall inner
1t the earth. ScOifer-Ies, grave
yards are full of them
There are people who claim to be
praying foT the poor, who never DO
anything else for them.
When the preaching is aimed
straight at the face of him how quick
the hypocrite begins TO dodge.
There must be constant living to
lower life, if we would know what
1t means to enjoy higher one.
| There is = disappointment in store
| Tor the man who undertakes to seek
the Lord with bottle in his pocket
1t will be probably some time be-
fore the people who blow trumpets
solely to advertise themselves, are all
| dead.
-Hewitt-"Why do you call your
wife CHANGER Jewett-"Haven't
you heard of Il man having a fighting
CHANGER
-She-"But I have never given
you any encouragement" He-"You
have frequently alluded to your rich
relatives"
-Jaggson-'Did you land on terra
tirrna when you fell out of your bal
loon?" AerOnaut-"No, Terra
Haute''
--"The world has many people who
want to have the Lord on their side,
without the trouble of going over to
His side"
Can you read and write. sir ?"
Why, man alive, | am a college
graduate ~ Il know it; that's why |
am in doubt
Every man who has ever heard of
Christ has some kind of opinion about
him, but only those born of God know
him to be Christ.
For weeds in the grass put pinch
or two of salt in the middle of each,
and unless shower washes it off, it
will kill the weeds
Mrs. Pancake-''I can't see why
great, big fellow like you should beg
Hungry Hank-"Well, mum, | s'pOse
me size helps to gimme an appetite"
BE not disturbed by irfidelity.
Religion cannot pass away. The burn
ing of little straw may hide the
stars, but the stars are there and will
reappear."
In a basin of water, salt, of course
falls to the bottom; so never soak
salt fish with the skin side down, as
the salt will fall to the skin and re-
main there.
Mr.. Wheeler-"Are you the little
girl that | used to hold on nv knee?"
Miss Sykel-"Yes.n Mr.. Wheeler
You've grown to be quite man,
haven't your
-Colored and black stockings, if
washed before wearing at all, and q
little beef gall put in the water, will
never fade or change color either with
wear ng or washing.
-"Often,' said the Cumminsville
sage, "a man gets credit for having
sense enough to say nothing, when
the truth is that he hasn't sense
enough to say anything.
Never attained to mans estate
You surprise me. Why, l under
stand he lived to an advanced age"
"He did, but he never had any prop
erty that wasn't in his wife's name"
I'VE had four organ grinders over
on our street yesterday, and you
didn't have none" said the boy with
the frazzled trousers. That's all
right" retorted the boy with the rim
less hat. 1--WE had mad dog, and
you didn't"
AT a funeral, a clergyman read the
service until he came to the part which
says, Our dear brother or sister,
He turned to the mourner, and asked
whether it was brother or u sister;
not knowing whether deceased was
male or female. The man replied: No
relation at all, sir, only an acquaint-
ance." The clergyman melted
"A sea captain, trading regularly
to the African coast, was invited TO
meet a committee of a society for the
eVaneelization of Africa. Among nu-
merous questions touching the habits
and religion of the African races, he
was asked: do the subjects of King
Dahomey keep Sunday" Keep
Sunday?' he replied; yes, and every
other darned thing they can lay their
hands on,