Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-08-19
Burdette Goes Bicycling.
HE GIVES a GRAPHIC ACCOUNT OF
HIS EFFORTS IN AN INIMITABLE
LETTER 10 4 FRIEND.


HIS EFFORTS IN AN INIMITABLE
LETTER no \ FRIEND.
y report got in circulation to the
effect that Bob Burdette was dead.
The Burlington Hdrkeye, with which
the humorist was formerly associated,
denied the rumor and Bob confirms
the denial in the following letter TO
the editor:
BRYN MAwR, July 3l.-My Dear
Walter: Like the true friend and
royal comrade you ever were, you
do right TO protest against my burial
prior to the autopsy.
| am indeed very much alive.
Not only so, / haven't been dead
even Il little bit. Not once. Could
have been had l wanted to be.
Could he yet but don't want to.
Maybe | ought to be even now.
But as we make weekly confession
-" we have left undone those things
which we ought to have DONE"
Possibly the rumOr that l have
gone dead grew out of the fact that
l have learned to ride bicycle. l
say " have learned" Not cam learn
ing" Learned in one lesson. All
by myself.
Went out in the moonlight last
Friday night to learn, having first
locked my family in the house and
forbade them to look out Of the win
dows. Led my bicycle ont on the
turnpikc-the Bryn Mawr pixies are
broader than the way to destruction,
twice as smooth and much cleaner.
It's young bicycle-a colt foaled in
'97. Would give the name but for
the fact that l had to pay for the
wheel. Will only say, therefore, in
accordance with the ethics of our
profession, that it is NOT the wheel
anybody says it is.
! held him by the withers right in
the middle of the road and mounted
without assistance.
l dismOuuted in the same indie.
pendent manner.
Got on again and proceeded to
break him to saddle.
Did l ride the first time?
Well, say!
People had told me--liars of all
ages and both seXes-that / couldn't
fall If when | felt that | was falling,
l would stick out my foot.
stuck out both feet and both hands
and fell on my head.
L fell on one side of that diabolical
wheel and then on the other; fell
on both sides at once; fell on top of
IT and underneath it, and made L" dog
falls" with it. l fell between the
wheels. fell behind the hind wheel
and before the front one at the same
time and don't know yet how / did
it. fell and thrust both legs through
the Spokes of one wheel. I met a
terrified man in buggy and drove
him clear off the pike through
Wheeler's hedge, and l don't think
he has come back yet. Every time
l fell slipped the palms of my raw,
swollen, throbbing hands on the hard
lnelastic" pike, except the time /
Tell on my head. L fell harder and
with greater variety of landing than
any man could fall unless he dropped
from balloon and lit in a load of
furniture. lost my confidence, my
patience, my temper, my clamps
lamp, bell and reputation. ! broke
my pedal, the saddle and the ordi
nance against loud, boisterous and
abusive language at night, I rar
into everything in sight except the
middle of the road. / sat down or
everything in the township excep
the saddle. / scorched in a circui
not fifteen feet in circumference I'm
til you could smell birthstone.
made more revolutions than South
American republic, and didn't ge
ten feet away from where | started
haven't been so mauled and abraded
so thumped and beaten, so trample,
on and pounded, so bruised an,
scratched since left the army. Blu
/ can ride.
l don't say that l "do." But
"can."
Do consider the " hiking" goo
for health?
For the benefit of some people,
do. | don't see how physician ca
bring up his family unless his chi
dren havesomething to eat.
But in my own case, / reverse m
decision. l will wait until / kno,
, whether | am going to die or gs
well. And do you tell Brother ID,
Wis to keep his obituary on tn
, standing galley until he hears frol
"Slug Nine." l believe l got " 80
yet; although friends who ha,
called to SEQ me break down whe
they say" goodbye" and walk o,
on tip-toe. But / wouldn't min
that if knew what became of m
5 shoulder blades the time | ran III
D der the hay wagon.
Cheerfully yours,
, ROBERT j. BURDETTE.