The sun., 1897-03-21
CHASED BY THE CHURCH.
BUT DRLFTER WAS CURED OF AN
ATTACK OF SUBURBAN INSANITY.

/
Eris Friends at tire Club were All wrenr-Ht
wasnt the trolley Car, the Dark Reads.
| the Malaria, or tho MuIlientawney bathing
why Drirter Fled from Poppy View villa.
"Yes. I'm no LONGER one Of tho colony Of
lunatics at Gravesendhurst," said Drifter TO
his accomplices in little game of draw at
ths club. I'm thoroughly cured of the attack
Of suburban insanity which broke ont in my
family when Mrs. Drifter's sisters youngsters
| made us n visit and turned my oosey fat into .
| combined hospital, reform Rchool, and Wild
West show"
II told you" broke in tho miserable old
bachelor who Ruyed Drltter numerically all
winter about his trolley car face"
"of course you told me so," sArcasttcally
responded Drifter. "and you were 80 near
right - you were whom You bet that Bryan
would win In walk. What ron don't know
about suburban homo life lie only eauallsd in
vastnoss by your ignorance on tho subjects Of
| poker, politics, and woman"
BAH" snarled the bachelor. Didn't you
threaten TO sue the trolley company for dump
| ing you out three miles from homo In q howl
| ing snowstorm at 8 in the-morninG. and leav-
ing you to hoof It TO that lovely little do
tached cottage. with no gas lamps within
mile Of III"
Even Driftet Joined in the laugh at this
sally. but the doctor, who had beaten Drift
er's queen full by gathering in two moro aces
making four in hll-started tho ball again.
Don't lay all tho blame on the trolley
cars" said tho doctor. Look at Drlfter's
cyeballs. Feel bottcr some days than you do
others. oh. old chap? Dull. heavy pains In
your back. Loss Of appetite. Hot flashes.
followed by 10y chills, ehr Quarrel with
your wife. Rrowl at the children. kick tho
dogH Gentlemen" with an air of triumph.
malaria. that's all. Drifter don't know t.
and II he did he wouldn't admit the truth.
but the good old-fashioned fever and asue
which goes with suburban homes has taken
the.place OF our friend s.insanity."
Right you are, Doc," chipped in the man
who had spent most Of his life in South
Brooklyn and Is trying to live down his repu-
tation. Why. certainly. how in thunder can
q man live in q house built on made land?"
And you. YOU born In Gowanus, have tho
nerye-" sputtered Drifter.
Don't rake up a mans past" put In the
bachelor.
"Anvv,v" continual tho reformed Brook
n"' "As' Sous'A"oA '''0 ioAoi tio ~ VIVA
iynite. Il spent two days and two niHhts In
that Gravesendhurst villa with Drifter, and
IN DC oio"eu II VIC oion nnVo 10 VICAR "ao'
ing boots when wo vent to the cellar to get
sAS1 ..Csn,i =. O - ,s. +, ,.,, D,,,..-
oontoond your impnaence' haia D.'f'er'
mat cellar was as dry as q DriCk KIN ex-
cent xhen tho wind was on shore. Then tho
h..t r,.h t,to ,bo ..w.r d,d ,r.le n dam,
oaek WASH ih'' In' snWef uia hlAke u"mp
.he only % Inins 4 remember ,s a'0p' your 'i''' IL
Come, now. own up. Drltter. {" said the law
vsr IN ,hs marty "plead entity and we'll get
light sentence for you. You closed that
bungalow and moved back to civilization be-
Souoo tho "ihNSA SOS'e>A "A'AA. ~ N.e'>SSSN
hurst was TOO rapid tor man Win your ousi-
ness caros."
That's tho stun. Judge. maze MN eon-
fess." shouted tho bachelor. tho doctor. and tho
..1,s r.,,h,. -. g., .,,,,.r
ino'e i,noS paF''e' iof e"ees ,n",io ~
di.s,pation of the Native Residents Tr,-Month.
l., Co,,,,on r,rh var, ,oo ,.,ri,, IN n ,n,n =,
Drit,er's ] ealibre" s.ernly declared I'll the lawyer ~
mode of living could keep up with the pace set
and and the real arayesendhur'. society. the beach
shsu. there'sAa Continual rouna OF frivoiiiy.
What with their Question and Answer games.
o ann 10 IN the coron
Club it is as much as ono can do to get TO bed
vsctim Of malaria Ike our friend Drifters"
Drifter. but keep up your guying gentle
| men. j can Stanu II. can sthnu anything
| except the nerve of a man who ridi cules me for
buryins myself in q snowbound suburb and
then. when summer comes around, uses my
home. my beer. a ad nv sailboat a. II be had n
proprietary Interest in tho outfit"
| "Iook ont boys He's liable to have q re-
turn Of his mania and plunge again into tho
mad career OF a suburb anlte moro wildly than
Drifter gave a sigh Of relief. but was cor.
| berS the quiet man from Boaton .Its very
plain TO nae. gentlemen" said the Bostonian.
purely superficial. OF course. strictly speak
ing. the only suburbs worth mentioning are
| those delightful spots within easy access of
dear old Faneuil Hall Brooklino, the New
| tons. beverly, Nahant, Hull, and even Win
| thron HlRhlands (nlthouph thai is q deucedly
crowded place. are suburbs where Lne can on
Joy creature comforts and not be out OF reach
| n bia dininp club But IL must be very trying
to:have to snend any time in such place as our
buryins ground name. Gravesendhurst. / really
cannot fancy putting mp there: Probably no
ton man settled back in his chair
| Gee -yhiz. but you're cold. MIR Backbay, :"