The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-03-07
HE TALKS GLIBLY
SN0WDEN SECURES 4 CROWD on
THE STREE.
Phraseology and Obstinate
Negative Character Excites the Man
With the Wolf-SkIn Cap-The Manner
In Which Street Fakirs Secure Crowds
The Curative Properties of Percoon
Root Set Forth in Glowing EIoquence-
The Frozen Peaks of Labrador aud the
Malarial Marshes Of the Amazon.


The glorious sunny weather brings out
the street fakirs and the fakirs secure
crowds by various and sundry attrac-
tons. The device to get crowd yester-
cay was adopted by Claude Snowden,
the eloquent duck who sells percoon root
or something OF the kind. He said, on Sc
curing an audience:
Ny mission on this rotating bal of
clay is to do good, and the article here
offer is boon to afflicted humanity
Why, my dear friends, Kansas Jayhaw-
kers and countrymen, the article offer
is more precious than the non-corrosive
ard beautiful metallic substance called
gold, This remedy was discovered by
the great Hungarian Rather of the age,
r. Won Hickenlcoper, and from the rock
ribbed hills Of Massachusetts IL the gold
en- shores OF California, and from the
frozen peaks Of Labrador to the malariai
marshes Of the Amazon. this remedy has
rescued suffering humanity from excru-
ciating pain and ultimate DEATH
Then Snowden called for a subject for
chronological analysis. A brawny fellow
went forward. was assisted into Snow
denis wagon and seated on a box. The
professor and vendor OF percoon root
proceeded to tumble the subjects head,
gazing far away, while he read the man S
character with the tips of his fingers, as
blind man reads raised letters. He
said:
This man is of the sanguine bilious
temperament. He can ride a fractions
horse, throw stone or ball, shoot rifle,
walk foot log across a rapid running
river, maintain the center Of gravitation
and equilibrium
Hold on thert, professor" said the
subject. You are off. / couldn't ride an
old spawned hoss, and I can't shoot for
shuckS. l couldn't hit a flock of barns
with double-barreled blunderbuss And
as for walkin' foot log, l can't walk
over bridge unless ii has banisters on
the Sides
THE subject seems to refute my an
alysis.' said Snowden, "but am inclined
to think he is obstinate and prejudiced
against me. But let me proceed. This
man is a great eater. He is a man who
lives TO eat, while more refined and spir-
ituai people eat to live"
'Off again, professor" said the sub
ject
Il know I am not. You are glutton.
You banker after roast beef and brown
potatoes and gravy"
Il don't either
Yes you do. You dream Of porter
house steak and French peas with drip
coffee and Jersey COW cream
Il wouldn't touch such stuff
Hes a liar" said slim man with a
wolf-skin cap, chewing his tobacco Wig
orously and splitting through mis- teeth.
yes" continued the professor you
dNfa {t,D LoIf 81,
catsup and lemon Juice, or stewed rare in
milk
''Oh, come Off" exclaimed the subject.
IT wouldn't eat an oyster for farm.
Corn bread, sorghum, and hog and hon.
my are good enough for me-"
'Oh, the chump" exclaimed the slim
man, having his hands in his pockets
and oScilating his panta,oons from SIDE
to side in his excitement.
And this man." continued the profess
sor, cloves the ladies. He admires their
sweet and delicious development, their
1.-the and willowy forms. their silken
tresses, their velvety cheeks and bright,
luminous eyes. He"
Nothing of the SORT" interrupted the
subject. II am woman later. l never
saw one yet that didn't talk like ma
tattle, tattle over a back
az ICiSc~SlIc tOiu iuc l!lol Sd4u sou
said az how the report was going the
rounds that
The sim man broke in al this point.
Throw him out Of the wagon. He's
a crank. He don't know enough to pound
sand, and 1 feel like l could lick him in
cne round
BY this time Snowden had his crowd
swelled TO business proportions, and the
subject crawled down out of the wagon.
The Audience didn't know that the SUBJ
jecI travels with the fakir.