The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-01-30
HOW POLLY PROPOSED.
'Hi! Hi! All right! All right Now
we sha'n't be long!" said the gray par

we slid IL u NC luuS! Sulu lHc gray pdl-
rot.
| regret to say that the irrepressible
young man that brings the daily milk
is the tutor of my parrot in the latest
up-to-date slang of the day.
l am an old sea-eaptain-at least, not
old, perhaps the word slipped out un-
awares. am the right side of so, any
how; but being in receipt of a pension
and a small private income to boot, L
have cast anchor in my presents abode in
the expectation of weathering many a
winters storm yet.
Being without known relation in
the world, willingly fell in with the
suggestion that l should pick up my
moorings alongside my old friend and
messmate, Capt. Travers, late r. N,
who, having left one OF his legs on the
west coast of Africa while capturing a
SLAYER, was pensioned off at an even
earlier age than myself, and now lived
with his sister most comfortable
party, fat, fair and 40 or thereabouts-
in the adjoining house to mine in the
neighborhood of London. We had al
ways got on well together, our tastes
and dispositions were similar, and we
had often met during our naval careers.
His sister had not previously been ac-
quainted with, but, being in many re-
spects like her brother, we were soon
firm friends.
Capt. Travers and myself had each a
favorite parrot-his the common Afri-
can gray, with red-tipped tail, and
mine the purer variety, without trace
of color, but otherwise similar.
l had not long settled down in my
new quarters, and got everything ship
shape, or what seemed SO to me-a very
important difference, as I know to-day
when, almost unconsciously at first,
l began to feel what lonely old bache-
lor | was, and what set-off to all my
other belongings the figure Of Miss
Rachel Trayers would be by my fire
side. But just here the curse of my
life began to make itself felt. Inherent
shyness in the presence Of the opposite
sex has logged my footsteps from my
earliest recollections. Give me gale
of wind in the Bay of Biscay, a tornado
in the tropics, or 20 hours duty on deck,
wet through to the skin, and Capt. Man
ley, late of the 2. and 0. service,
will thank you for 1t, and consider life
we'll worth living; but as dispenser of
delicate attentions to the fair sex, in
tensely as he inwardly admires their
pretty ways, Capt. Manley does not, no,
he certainly does not, show up to adj
vantage.
Although fond of pets generally, l
have an antipathy to cats, especially at
night. l am not aware that our neigh
borhood was particularly beneficial in
its aspect or other qualifications to
feline constitution, but l know that UNI
til l was inhuman enough to start an
air-gun cannonade on my numerous
nocturnal visitors, was frequently I'M
able to get respectable nights rest.
One internal black and white Tom de-
fed my finest efforts. If average cats
have nine lives, l am sure this one must
have had 10, and l began to wonder
what sort of uncanny being this was
that had no objection to letting my bull
let's pass apparently through its body
without suffering any inconvenience.
But after all it must have been my bad
craftsmanship, for one afternoon saw
my enemy quietly walking up the low
fence that divided my back garden from
Capt, Travers'.
The opportunity was too good to be
lost, and quietly getting my air-gun, l
took a steady aim and fired. There was
no mistake this time, and without a
sound poor puss dropped on to my
fower-bed as dead as the proverbial
door nail.
Ny exultation, however, was of short
duration, for to my horror and dis
may, on proceeding to pick up his I'M
fortunate carcass and give 1t decent
burial, l saw that my shot had passed
right through the unlucky animal and
killed my neighbours parrot, which had
been put oct to sun itself In o. little
summer-housc that stood at the bottom
of the garden.
was staggered at my position; l
knew the parrot was supreme fayorite
with Miss Travers, and how could ever
explain my carelessness l could not
imagine. Suddenly IL way out of my
dilemma presented itself to my mind,
and | fastened to put it into execution.
| knew that the Travers were out, and
would not be back for some little time,
so hurrying indoors and taking my own
parrot from it's cage, l carefully painted
the end of its tail with red ink in imita-
ton of its deceased comrade, and find
ing no one was about, stepped lightly
over the fence and substituted the liv-
ing for the dead bird, which / buried,
together with the cat, in my own gar
den. knew that my parrot would not
readily talk before strangers, and L
hoped that by the time it had got used
to its new surroundings, it would have
forgotten its former accomplishments
at any rate, / must risk it.
Alasl UNEASY lies the head that
wears a crown" sang some poet, who, l
expect, never wore anything harder
than nightcap, but, true as it may be-
compared to the torture OF my mind,
now launched on a course of duplicity,
il would be n bed OF roses.
II was towards the end of the follow
ing week that happened to be out in
the garden and saw my old friend come
stumping down the path of his own
garden in his dot-and-carry-on style,
and, seeing me on the fence, he cried:
"Holloal captain, you're quite a
stranger. What's been up? Rachel
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