The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-08-17
Easy FOR CHIMMIE.
.onAeTNew YORK YoUNesTER
y" GOT THE JOB.

rev. ,,,,,vers Were Closely Examined.
,,au of Affairs Was Outwitted.
,rorous man of affairs who has
pp,aos in n down town skyscraping |
j. o. ,ra entered the building the 9TH
Sor with disturbed look ON his
-" Although a man with full comb
in himself and one whose jadg- |
n'' vas considered second to no one |
ep' IN the street, he was extremely |
N,.enl of the result of the task before |
ue was in trouble because his
III how had left him and he was
a ice TO engage another. The boy who
~ oons had been a pretty good one as
pa" He had bossed the boss and
The office for about year and was
u r;obt when he had his own way,
one unfortunate afternoon he told
w. boss that he wanted to get off, as
,s brother-in-law had died and he de-
sired to go to the fuS'al.
81 want to go to - ball game my
10 - said the "old man." chuckling,
no recalled how many times that old
G~neral excuse had been sprung on him
Nv office boys, $50 l guess, James, you
iii have to mind shop today.
lanes didn't appear at the Office next
morning, but an irate woman who said
shs was his mother did, and she sound
t. berated the employer for his inhu-
~onitv in keeping James away from his
7brother laws funeral.
The boss tried to explain matters by
saving that he thought James only
wanted an excuse to go to the ball game
and that he did not know there had
been death in the family, but it was
NJ GOOD. The whole family branded the
old man as brute Of the deepest dye,
and James did not return to his duties
Tn consequence of this the employer
inserted an advertisement i'll one of the
newspapers for an office boy, and he had
cot down TO the office half an hour
earlier than usual to receive the appli-
| cants for the place.
There was long line of them in the
hallway in front of his office, and he
heard much criticism, some favorable
and some otherwise, on his general APP
pearance as he pushed his way through
the throng. He called the boys into his
office one by one and subjected each Of
them to searching examination as to
| his experience, fitness, etc. He lnvarla-
blv finished up with the question, Do
Won smoke cigarettes?" The boys as in
yariably declared that they did not.
Never smoked one o. ther dope
sticks in me life, f" declared the first boy
called into the office.
Didn't, eh?'' replied the "old man.
"Let me see your fingers" The young
ster's fingers were stained deep dirty
| yellow color, and he was told he was
| not wanted.
Oats not cigarute stain, dat amt
| insisted the second boy called into th'
office. Oats paint off me fader''
| house.
The excuse wouldn't work, however
and he was ushered out, as were seVera
more young aspirants for Office honors
Finally bright eyed, redheade'
youngster entered the office and answer
ed all the questions propounded to HIN
in O satisfactory way.
"Now, my boy" came the final test
"tell me truthfully, do you smoke Gig
arettes?'
What's them? Those little paper CT
gars?" answered the youth.
Eyes, exactly.
"Nope. Never drew one uf them II
ter me lungs in me life, continued ia
boy.
LET me see your hands.
The boy poked out chubby fist
him. The man examined 1T CRITICAL!
but failed to detect the slightest ev
dence of tobacco stain.
You're engaged, he finally said.
"Bully fer you'll" replied the you'll
$50 long. III be ter work i'll de morl
ing" He then went out, whlstlll
There's Only One Girl In the Worl
gor Me-" and joined his anxious con
les in the hallway. -,
3ouse fellers can all 60 home,
What's yer given us? DID, yer
iob?" piped half dozen voices.
Bet yer life" replied the urchin.
There was loud murmur OF surpri
(om the crowd, and finally one OF
youngsters exclaimed:
How'd yer do it, CHIMNEY! lie
man said dat he didn't want no 90
stick smokers, an yer knows yer was
wursest dope fiend in der push.
''Oh, youse fellers was SO SLOW
yer make me tired" replied Chimn
in a disguised tone of voice. "Cours
hit de dope sticks, but dye tlnk
wusnt cute 'nough ter keep 1t from
ole man?'
"Guess yer had pull or yer couio
have fooled his joblots," said one
the youngsters.
Easiest ting in de world" answ
ed CHIMNEY. "As soon as l read MS
vertisement in de poiper knew dat
wus ag'in dope sticks, so what doe
do but soak me fingers in turpentine
night, an in de morning dey wus
clean as a newborn babes. IN
York Tribune.
His Way OF Smoking Glass.
M,r,Lr We'll this hates the q