Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1897-03-15
JUST FOR FUN.

foot? Pat O'Hoolman-For the rea-
son, ma'am, that have in my family
more feet than shoes.
Do you like colored servants? 1t
depends on the color, don't care for
green ones.
So it was happy marriage? Quite.
The bride was happy, the brides
mother was blissful, the count was in
ecstacy, and I understand that his
creditors are in a state of deliriOus
joy.
Look at the foolish Mr.. Baker out
on day like this without an umbrel-
la. Is he crazy? I'm afraid he is.
Let's hurry on, don't want to meet
him. Why not? He may recognize
this umbrella. It's his.
How fast the train is going? ex-
claimed Mrs. Trotter.
Yes, there is probably letter in
the mail car with ssIn hasteo written
on the northeast corner of the en-
velope.
Allow did your daughter pass
her examination for a position as
teacher?
B.-Pass! She didn't pass at all.
May be you won't believe it, but they
asked that poor girl about things that
happened before she was born!
Hattie What's the matter with
Gustavus? He never calls any more,
Emma Why, one night when he
was at the house | called him the
light of my life and papa came in and
said it was about time the light was
put out.
Bobbie-Mother, were all the bad
men destroyed by the flood?
Mother-Yes, my son.
Bobbie (who has just received a
whipping from his father)- When is
there going to be another flood?
Pardon me, said the new boarder
after the others had left the table, but
I'm not up in table etiquette and
don't know just how oranges should
be eaten. Very sparingly, sir, very
sparingly, at this time Of year, said
the thrifty landlady.
I came to ask your consent to marry
your daughter, said the young man
in a trembling voice.
You're a fool shouted the irate
father.
Well, really, I didn't think you'd
object to having one more in the fam
lily, sir.
Late one evening doctor received
a note from couple of fellow practi-
TONERS, saying: Pray, step across to
the club. We are one short for a
game of poker. Emily, dear he said
to his wife, I arn called away again. 1t
appears to be very serious case, for
there are already two doctors in at
tendance.
Where the trouble was.-Brother,
said the minister, you should try to
be content with what you have.
[ am said the brother, who had been
grumbling. 1t is what I amt got that
I am dissatisfied about.
In Boston-Browning, dear said
Mrs Emerson to her husband, what
is cutaneous pastime?
A cutaneous pastime, love? | never
heard of such thing.
Well I heard two men on the street
talking, and one Of them spoke of
skin game.
He-I suppose your thoughts were
ali on your new bonnet during the
sermon this morning?
She-No, indeed they were not!
[ don't believe you can repeat any
thing that was said during the service
Yes, can, too. l heard lady be-
hind me say: Isn't it stunning?
There had been an addition to the
family and little Freddy was taken by
his father to see the little stranger.
Why, he's got no teeth he exclaim-
ed in establishment, nor no hair, eth
er. And after a moments silence he
said: You've been taken in this time,
dad; he's an old 'un.
I've good notion to go aud jump in
to the river, said Mr.. n. Peck, at the
end OF little domestic discussion, as
he picked up bis hat and started out.
You come back here, said his WIFE
if you intend any such trick as that,
just march up stairs and put on your
old clothes before you start.