davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

Cholly-'I'll go crazy if you don't
marry me-" She-"That's no proof
you love me-"
Little Clarence-"Pu, what is
paradox" Mr.. Callipers-"A possible
impossibility, my son. Judge.
"Yarbley has taken violent dis.
taste for opera" "What clever
stroke of economy. ."-Chicago Record.
She-'I wonder If two really can
live cheaper than oneP" He-"I guess
they feel cheaper. = indianapolis
journal.
"Do you think he really loves herr ?"
81 am sure of it. He exchanged his
wheel for the kind she rides. Brook.
lyn Life.
Freddy-"What is craftsmanship,
papa?" Papa-"Statesmanship, my
son, is successful politics. New York
Commercial Advertiser.
He-"Don't you think you could
learn to love me?" She-'T would
not have to learn, if felt inclined to
love you. indianapolis journal.
Dusnap (skeptically) - "Can you
keep a secret?" Penelope (convinc'
ingly)-"Just let me tell you some OF
the secrets l am keeping "-BrooklyD
Eagle.
Hobson-"Is Robson n man you
can trust?" Dobson-"Yes; that is,
if you lend him anything; it's all you
can do. New York Commercial Ad.
vertiser.
Leola-"Don't you think they are
two souls with but single thought"
Hazel-"Well, 1 shouldn't wonder.
They are both making fools of them
selves. Truth.
Frances-''Yes, he is pursuing liter
ature." Gertrude-'Indeed And is
he very successfully" Frances-"No.
1t is still long way ahead of him. -
Cleveland Leader.
He (fervently)-"Your eyes are like
the stars above" She (sleepily)-
"There are no stars above just now,
Charles-the sun is about to rise. -
Brooklyn Daily Eagle.
"WhAt is a hardy rosebush2" at
is one that doesn't mind your mother
pulllng III up by the roots every few
days to see il it has begun to grow
yet Chicago Record.
Hostess-"Ab, NJ. lie Ministre, sit
down on this Ottoman" Russian
Diplomat-"Parblieu would zrazeI
stand, Ze ware thought eez eempossi
BILE New York Press.
As has been remarked, the fierce battle is
Ger;
We turn in disgust from slaughter,
Our task to resume, evcn-paced rs beiora,
or cheerfully boiling our water
Chicago Record.
"Ah," exclaimed the merchant, com.
ing into the office and discovering one
of his clerks smoking; "you are dis.
obeying one of my rules, sir. sup.
pose you are familiar with the old
adage, where there's smoke, there's
ire?'" And the clerk was promptly
fired. Philadelphia North American.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
puel Under SIngnIar Condltions.

The men, who had fallen out over c
lady, left the arrangement of details
to their seconds, and until they faced
each other they did not know by wha'
method they were to settle their diff
ferences One second was a doctor,
and he had made up four black pellets.
identical in size aud shape.
"In one of these" he sail, 81 have
placed a sufficient quantity of prussic
acid to cause the almost instantaneous
death of any one who swallows it. We
will decide by the toss of coin which
Of you is to have first choice, and yoU
will alternately draw and swallow &
pill until the poison shows its effects.
Two pellets were then taken as the
toss had decided, but without effect ir
either case. "This time" said the
doctor, speaking OF the two pellets re
naming, "you must both swallow the
pill at the same instant" The choice
was again made, aud in few seconds
one man lay dead on the grass, Gen
tleman's Magazine.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
The Costliest of Metals

The most expensive product in the
world has latterly been the subject of
some inquiry with the result that the
metal gallium has been put at the
head of the list with the approximate
value of about 500, 900 per pound.
Following this have been placed the
metals berylium and lanthanum, a
pound of which is held at $40, 900,
rhodium and thorium, which is said
to be worth 5000, per pound; didy.
mum and rubidium, worth $4,000;
indium and tantalum, $500, erbium,
niobium and yttrIum, $500, aud ruth.
enium and vanadiums worth $1,000, or
about. Ambefgris, secretion of the
whale, has, similarly, been said to be
the most expensive organic substance
known, with price of 5000 per
pound weight.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
The USefml lIahOOn.

So far as speed is concerned the dog,
of course, has the advantage, for the
keenness of scent, for the instinct of
finding edible plants and hidden water,
and as a sentinel against every kind Of
danger, the babooa is unequalled.
lie Valiant, an African traveller,
gives an account of tame baboon
which accompanied him on some of
his journeys. "By his cries, !" he says,
she always warned us of the approach
of an enemy before my dogs discov.
cred it. The dogs were so accustomed
to his voice that they used to go to
sleep, and l was at first vexed with
them for deserting their duties. When
he once had given the alarm, they
would stop to watch for his signal, and
on the least motion of his eyes, or the
shaking Of his head, have seen them
all rush forward to the quarter where
his looks were directed"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
WINGS OF A DOVE.

AT sunset, when the rosy light was dyina
Far down the pathway Of the west,
saw lonely dove in silence flying
To be at rest.
Pilgrim Of air, I cried, could but borrow
Thy wandering wings, thy freedom blest,
I'd fly away from every careful sorrow
And find my rest.
But when the dusk flmy veil was weaving.
Bach. came the dove to seek her nest.
Deep in the forest where her mate was griev.
ing
There was true rest.
Peace, heart Of mine! no longer sigh TO wan
der;
Lose not thy life in fruitess quest.
There are no happy islands over yonder;
Come home aud rest.
Prom Rev. DR.. Henry Van Dykes 1.-THE
Builders and Other Poems"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
Danger in Postage Stamps.

One of the newest diseases is the
"postsge stamp tongue" The credit
of discovering it Is due to London
physician. 1t appears that the mueil-
age itself is injurious, and that,
further, it is an excellent cultivating
medium for germs of the worst char,
acter. In the ailment called postage
stamp tongue" the latter becomes sore
and covered with red spots. A bad
sore throat is likely to follow if great
care is not taken. Apart from the
specific disease of the tongue, any
contagious disease may be acquired
through the medium of mucilage.
Never lick a postage stamp with your
tongue. say the physicians. 1t shows
a great lack of cleanliness and hygie.
mic knowledge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

The youngest president of q repub.
lic is undoubtedly Jacob G. Smith,
who is not yet in his seventeenth
year. 1t must be said, however, that
the dominion over which President
Smith rules is the George Junior Re.
public, of Freeville, N. Y, which has
done much in the way of teaching
young waits and criminals the mean.
ing of government and law. Jacob
Smith was an expert thief and the ter.
ror of bis neighborhood when he came
to the Republic, but he Immediately
began to reform, showing an excep'
tional desire to-Acquire knowledge.
He has been a model boy in every re-
spect since then and now is a member
OF the Methodist Church, in which he
conducts Sunday-sohool class. By
industry and economy he managed to
save enough money to take his younger
brothers out of the slums and has al
ready made one of them self.support
ing. 'Jake," as he is familiarly
known. Has held every Office in the
gift of the Republic.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
SCIENTIFIC AND INDUSTRIAL.

Hamburg leads the cities of Germany
in the extent Of its electric street-car
gervice It has $40 motors, while Ber.
lin, which comes next, has only ia.
A new species of rabbit has been
found in Mexico at an altitude of 5000
feet on the volsno Popocatapetl. 1t is
very small, has short ears and no tail.
Steel wire is strung on frame for
use as o bicycle saddle, one end of each
strand of wire being formed into
colled spring to make the saddle fex
ible.
An electric underground railway un-
der the present underground is the
latest project suggested in London.
It would be used for express trains
only.
For the purpose of converting or.
dinary matches into fuses rings made
of the ordinary fuse composition with
out the illuminate are slipped over the
end of the head.
The accuracy in some parts of the
locomotive is ten times finer than in
the watch; but for absolute measure.
ment the accuracy in the watch is al.
most three times as fine as in the loco.
motive.
The greyhound seems to have been
developed in level, trseless and shrub
less countries, where a moving object
is visible at long distance, and great
speed is, therefore, necessary to enable
predaceous animal TO overtake it's
prey.
A party of scientists from Dublin,
Ireland, have visited the scene of the
bog'slIp near Baltimore, and made
numerous measurements and observa-
tions. The quantity of boggy matter
dislodged is estimated at 10000, 900
cubic yards.
Scarlet seems the color most con.
spicuous in bright sunshine, and scarlet
flowers are commonest in dry and
sunny climates, where their color
gives them an advantage in their
struggle with other flowers for the at
teutions of butterflies and other pollen
bearers.
A novel device for generating cleo.
lElClb1 COnSlSOb VI d hOllOn CduO III
which long, slim battery is placed,
the induction coil being placed close tc
the handle and surrounded by two re
movable hands attached by wires tc
the coil for use as poles in giving
electric treatment.
The spiders threads or fibers are
estimated to be one. mIllionth OF
a hair in thickness. Three kinds
of thread are spun. One of: great
strength for the radiating o,
spoke lines of the web ; the cross lines
or what q sailor might call the ratlines,
are finer and are tenacious; that is,
they have upon them little specks OF
globules of very sticky gum. The
third kind of silk is that which tho
spider throws out in a mass of food
by which sit suddenly envelops any
prey of which it is somewhat afraid as
for example, wasp.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

Cologne has been celebrating the
carnival by n historical and artistic
procession around the Cathedral, in
cluding young women who represented
ST. Ursula and her IL, 900 virgins, the
town tower and tho mercenaries en-.
ployed by the archbishops when they
were secular princes. 1t is asserted
that tho carnival has been held at
Cologne since pre-Christian times and
that it is tho direct representative OF
the Roman Saturualin.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

1t is said that "horror parties" are
now the rage in Missouri. We do not
know just what sort OF entertainments
these are, comments the New York
Observer, but we have an imI ression
that this "horror" business is being
overdone, both in daily journalism
and in general literature. Tragedies
are not proper aliment for the mind,
which was never meant to live on that
eort of food. 1t is high time that q
healthier state of public opinion on
this subject was assiduously cultivated.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
Omelal Corruptlon in ChInn.

A striking picture OF the official
corruption that prevails in China is
afforded by some diplomatic reports
submitted by the English Foreign
Olice to the Houses of Parliament at
Westminster. Among other things il
is shown that so great is the stealing,
that, were the imperial Government
to abolish the rice tribute from the
provinces of Kingsu and Chekiang
alone, it would affect an economy OF
more than $1,000, 900, which is the
sum that its collection now costs over
and above the revenue that it yields.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

Ten million dollars more is to be
given by Baroness de Hirsch for the
benefit OF the poor Hebrews in this
country, and especially in the City OF
New York. The fund will be especially
devoted to improving the conditions
OF those in the quarter where they are
so closely crowded as to make it al
most ghetto and providing model
suburban homes. These, and the
various schools and other plans OF
benevolence, will, like all Hebrew
charities, be under the best manage.
ment, and need to be.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

The editor OF the Christian Observer
of Louisville, KY, has had a canvass
made of the churches OF that city,
with a view of ascertaining how many
attendants they have, the number of
members and the number added in
1896. Eighty.four churches report a
membership of 25, 423. The attend
ance at the morning service of eighty.
seven churches is IA, ,5SS; of eighty
five churches at evening service, 10,
4S3, of eighty-four churches at Sunday
school, 10, ,829; OF fifty-tree churches
at prayer meeting, 2207. The number
of men who joined fifty-four churches,
last year was 4S9; the number of per
sons of both sexes who joined seventy
churches the same year was 2337,
From the returns of seating capacity
it would appear that the evangelical
churches Tor whites have room for
about one-fourth of the population OF
the city. 1t is stated that seventy
per cent Of the white population OF
Louisville over twelve years of age,
are not church members.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
WHAT THE opIArE WAS ron.

Mr.. Newpop-"Say, doctor, wish
you would fix up something to make
my wife sleep nights. The baby has
just begun cutting its teeth, and"
Doctor-"Oh, it's the baby you
want the opiate for, Is it?"
Mr.. Newpop-"No; for my wife.
You see, every time the baby sprouts
another tooth she is so tickled that
she keeps me awake half the night
talking about il. ."=T@lnkles.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
BITTER AND SWEET.

rhe apple that grows the highest IS the best
upon the tree;
The rose that is most fragrant always has
the sbarpest thorn;
rhe pearl that is the purest lies within the
deepest seq,
md the deeds that live the longest arc oi
hardest efforts born
Che love that's won too lightly is not treas
ured as gem;
The words that flow too freely never hav,
the greatest weight;
Nan appreciates his blessings II he has tc
strive for them,
But he never knows their value IL theyr,
passed up on plate
-Clevelanl Leader.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
A Brahmin,s Cniyalrr.

Sir Portab Singh, Raiah OF Jodh.
pur, in Raiputana, is the hero of an
extraordinary act Of chiyalry. Though
a Brahmiu of the highest caste and
bluest blood of India, he broke his
caste to prepare for burial young
English officer, complete stranger,
who died in his city. He helped put
the body in the colin aud carry 1t
down stairs to the carriage, and later,
to the grave.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
AN ORDEAL AHEAD.

Benson-"Hello, Yardsley, what are
you doing there? Going on the road
as a juggler?"
Yardsley-"Ob, no balancing plate
on one knee, cup and saucer on the
other, trying to look pleasant; Mrs.
de Crush gives reception this after
noon and I'm practicing for it, you
know. ."-Twinkles.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
HIs AorIoNs INTERpRErEp.

Darling" he said, falling upon his
knees before her and covering her lit
tie white hands with kisses; darling,
can't you see-can't you guess that 1
love your"
She drew herself up to her full
height, looked Mt him moment and
then said: "Weil, l should hate to
think that this was just your natural
way OF behaving in company. -
Cleveland Leader.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

The death is recorded in England at
the age of at least sixteen of an ant
mot aunt OF Sir John Lubbock. This
large black insect, whose name was
Mothuselah, was brought homo to
England years ago by that celebrated
naturalist, and by him studied to great
advantage. It's home was in cosy
glass house on the scientists desk.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
A coLLEcToR's TRIALS.

Clerk-"How did you succeed with
that bill against that street car con-
ductor?"
Collector-I got tired of seeing
him at his house, SO to-day 1 got on
his car and demanded payment.
Clerk-"What did he do?"
Collector--'Just what he's been do
ing all along-put me off"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
The Jungfrau Railroad.

The proposed railway up the famous
Swiss peak, Jungfrau, is about to be
commenced. Its maximum gradient
will be one in four and the sharpest
curve of 32S feet radius. The power
will 4pplied by turbines with an
e force of 1900 horse power.
% motors will be used for trac.
purposes. The total length of the
!. sad will be 7,6 miles, the total rise
being 6555 feet.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
REFLEX ACTION.

Magistrate-"You are charged with
having deliberately climbed over tho
railing at the flower show and smash
ing one of the richest exhibits. What
have you to say for yourself?"
Fierce Looking Prisoner-"Habit,
Your Honor. 1t was marked handle
with care. I used to be baggageman
on q railroad"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

The widow OF a stage driver who was
killed by treo falling upon him
while driving by in South Vancouver,
British Columbia, sued the town for
$4,000 damages, and a sympnthizing
Jury, after a three days trial, has
awarded her $40, 900, the claim being
SHAT the tree was known to be danger
GUS, and should have been cut down.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
A SURE THING.

Clara-"Mr. Smart says he enter
tanned quite a gathering last evening.
and kept them laughing all the time. "
Kate-"rhat was the safest thing
they could do. They were thus sure
of laughing in the right place once in
a while. Boston Transcript.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
SEVERE MENTAL STRAIN.

"Old man, you seem worried"
"Worried is no name for it. Brown
is coming around at o'clock to pay
me S15."
"Think ne may not Gomez"
"Oh, he'll come all right but Jones
is due at 4.l5 to try and collect SO l
owe him. Suppose he should get hero
just as l was being paid by Brown -
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
A POSSIBLE EXPLANATION.

Mr.. Oldboy (soothing baby
''There, therel L wonder what on
earth makes the child cry so?"
Johnny Oldboy--"Well, pa, what
else can you expect? He amt old
enough to swear, is he?"-Judge.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

Germany aud Spain are now con-
nected by submarine cable 1850
miles long the ends of which are at
Emden and Vigo. 1t Is the first
link in series of lines to be extended
to Brazil and tho United States by
way OF the Azores.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
SIZE GOT THE ENGAGEMENT.

Miss Sere-"Well, if you must have
the plain truth, you're too young and
pretty to be my maid"
Applicant-"But, Ma'm'selle, you
can say that nursed you during your
childhood"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
RECKLESS ExrRAvAGAycE.

Pepperby-"I've been talking to
my wife and been giving her bit of
my mind"
Cynical Candid Friend-"Follow
my advice, old chap, and don't do that
too often, or you'll have none left for
yourself Punch.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
SUCCESS.

Soxey-'I suppose tue reason Prim-
pas is SO successful is on account of
the interest he takes in his business. I"
Knoxey-"I should say so. Ga
everything you leave with him he
takes ten per cent. ."-Pittsburg News.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

Hortense-"Who do you think was
the first woman to use powder and
paint?"
Van Jay -"Eve."
Hortense-"Why do you think it
was Eve?"
Van Jay-"She was the first woman. "
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

"Why do you always have your let
ters with receipted bills in them
marked 'PersonalP"
$50 everyone that gets glimpse of
them will read them.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
TIE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

Always with Us-Shcltcr From the
Storm-She Got the Engagement
-Compliments-Th Reason. Etc.
fTell me what are the signs OF spring."
She asked in accents quaint;
And he replied by answering:
ITO Let For Sale and Paint.
New York Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

'T have been referred to in the
newspapers as professional beauty,
she said boastfully.
al am glad am only an anna eur, "
said her young rival.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

Mr.. Gladstone is the freshest, live
LEST, most thoroughly up-to.date
''back number" existing in the world
to-day.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12

The number OF unmarried women
In England aud Wales exceeds the
number of unmarried men by nearly
400 OOO
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
SHELTER FROM THE STORM.

Mitchell-''Did you get wet coming
from the opera the other night|"
Twitchell-"Not drop; my vito
was wearing her opera hat. -
Twinkles.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
RATES or ADVERTISING, ,

One Square, one inch, one insertion. 3 100
One Square one inch, one month. 81. 800
One Square one inch, three months 8 90
One Square, one inch, one year .... 1000
Two Squares, one year 1900
Quarter Column, one year. ....,...,.. 30 %
Half Column, one year .............. 80 90
One Column, one year .....,.. 100 90
Legal advertisements ten cents per line
each insertion.
Marriages and death notices gratis.
All bills for yearly advertisements collected
quarterly Temporary advertisements must
be paid in advance
Job work-cash on delivery.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-05-12
A NARROW ESCAPE.

he last time / had
seen Charlie Rudge
was years ago, when
l bade him good
bye on the platform
of the station of the
little town where
we both lived, and
he had shouted as
the train moved
away that he would
write in the course
Of a day or two. 1
remembered hi m
well--a seedy look