Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1897-10-23
FROsTBURG, Md. SATURDAY, OCTOBER %, 1897.

prince hisself KUN up & axed me what
the matter was. SEE l, albert Edard,
is that your" & he smilt & sed it was.
See 1: albert Edard, hears my keerd.
cum to pay my respecks to the futer
king Of Ingland. The kurnal of the Sew
enty Onesters hear is ruther shawl per-
raters, but Of course you amt to blame
fur that. He puts OH as many airs as
tho he was the bully boy with the glass
eye"
Never mind" sez Albert Edard,
"I'm glad to see you, Mister Ward, at
all events" & he tux my hand so pies
unit like s. larfed SO sweet that fell in
love with him to onct. He handed me
segar. g. we sot down on the pizarro
g. commenst smokin rite cheerful.
"Wall," SEE I, Albert Edard, how's
the old folks?"
"Her majesty & the prince are we'll, ;"
he sed.
"Duz the old man take his lager beer
reglar?" inquired.
The prince larfed, & intermatid that
the old man didn't let many kegs of
that bevridge Spite in the cellar i'll the
coarse of year. We sot & tawlked
there sum time abowt matters & things,
& bimeby l axed him how he liked bein
prince as fur as he'd got.
ITO speak plain, Mister Ward" he
sed, II don't much like it. I'm sick Of
all this bowin & scrapin & crawlin &
hurrain over boy like me. would
rather 60 through the country quietly &
enjoy myself in my own way, with the
other boys, & not be made show of to
be CAPPED at by every body. When the
peple cheer me I feel pleased, fur 1
know they meen it, but if these one
horse offishuls Good know how I see
threw all their moves q understan ex-
actly what they air after, & knowd how
larft at 'em In private, thayd stop
kissin my hands & fawnin over me as
thay now do. But you know, Mister
Ward, can't help bein prince, &
must do all kin to fit myself for the
persishun must sum time ockepy."
"That's troo," seq 1; sickness and
the doctors will carry the queen orr one
of these dase, sure's yer born"
The time hevin arove fur mo to take
my departer, rose up & sed: "Albert
Edard, must go, but previs to dom SO
will obsarve that you SCOT me. Yure a
good Teller, Albert Edard, & tho I'm
agin princes as gineral thing, must
say like the cut of your glib. When you
git to be king, try & be as good man
as your muther has bin! Be just & be
jenerus. espeshully to showmen, who
have alters bin aboosed sins the dase of
Noah, who was the fust man to go into
the menagery bizness, & eff the daily
papers of his time air to be believed,
Noah's colleckshun of Twin wild beests
beet ennything ever seen sins, tho
make bold to dowt eff his snaiks was
ahead of mine Albert Edard, adoo" !
TUX his hand, which he shook warmly,
& givin him perpetooal free pars to
my show, & also parses to take hum for
the queen & old Albert, put OH my
hat and walkt away.
"Mrs. Ward" I solilerquized as I
walkt along Mrs. Ward, eff you could
see your husband now, just as he
prowdly emerjis from the presents of
the futer king Of Ingland, you'd be
sorry you called him best jest becaws
he cum home tired 1 mite & wantid to
go to bed without takin off his boots.
You'd be sorry for tryin to deprive yure
husband of the priceless boon of liberty,
Betsy janet '-Artemus Ward.