davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

M1ke-What is the difference between Won
and the load of dirtyou carting?
Pat-I don't know; what is?
Mike-YOu're q son of toll and it's ton nj
sol.-Harlem Life.
Grandma-What are you doing in the pa1A
try. Tommy?
Tommy-Oh, I'm just putting few things
away, gran'mG.-Ram's Horn.
81 know one man. said the quiet younv
woman, "who is listened to with respect
by both sides when he speaks in Con-
gress."
"He must have a lot of influenced
81 hope he has. He's the chaplain" ."-Wash-
ington Star.
"What's all the Austrian trouble about any
way?'
Its all over a question of national Ian
guage."
ooh, see; that accounts for the war OF
words."-Philadelphi North American.
Shea man playing penny slot machine
looks so childish.
He-Childish? Why, 1t takes all the cents
q man has to beat it.-IndianapoIs Journal
Fox-People are talking all the time about
elevating the stage and about organizing So
cieties for that purpose, aud yet, when you
come to think of it, the stage ought to be able
to do that for itself
KnOx-Pooh, pooh Now you're talking
nonsense. guess you forget that the stage
has wings and ftes.-Boston Courier.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
CIVIL SERVICE REFORM.

IRON discussion in the House of Represent
ati7es on Tuesday it is evident appropriation
made for The maintenance of the Service Commits
sion until the whole subject OF civil has been thoroughly
reconsdeed and probably reforms are in
the present methods of regulating the service.
The issue during the debate legislative
tive and Judicial appropriation general
1t wes decided to postpone consideration of the providing
for the Civil Service Commission other features
of the bill had been the scope of the work
and the usefulness of the commission might exhaustvey
debated.
The action of the House unexpected There has been
dissatisfaction for long time present system of regu.
lating appointments the service The
famous order which Cleveland undertook to secure his
mugwump appointees in Office by pIac their Offices
in the CLASSIFIED list just before mis- Presidency expired
public attention to the evils of the system time
has been aforegone conclusion that thing
by the present Congress apply a remedy.
1t is not likely that any changes in the new
Will be attempted or that alterations will in those
portions which experience has beneficial TO the
service The objections made the during brief
cebate on Tuesday based upon specific of the law
rather than the law ITSELF Cannon of Illinois and
Bingham OF Pennsylvania protested against of the
system which permits the classified list so
10 orlng Wthln Its scope $1,000 Government
Ioyes by simple order.
The President referring 10 the civil sarv;o. !, hi.
to Congress said; much of course accom-
before the system be reasonably perfect for
needs There are places in classified service which
ought be exempted uncassied NAV be-
included shall not hesitate exempt cases which Thin
improperly included in the classified servio -
include those which in gment will best promote the
public service"
That the President right view is bevond question
Not long ago HE OAL had occasion to direct the
system public service which makes cbief t
bureau office and his bondmen responsible for
by empoye of the Office and deprives The
chief of the right either remove the pborna
The regulation of the civil service executive
fad with large our people and like
all fads has carried too far unwev I ia
time reconsider the subject and Congress will serve the
people well in doing 80.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
ALASKAN NAMES
Chicago Tribune.

The Board OF Geographic Names in Wash
ington has at last issued bulletin giving the
correct photography of places in A-Iska which
have recently become familiar almost as
household words. The mining region is now
to be known as the ''Klondike," and not as
"Clondyke," as il has appeared in some of the
official charts. The lake the Chilkoot Pass
"Lindemann" or ''L1nderman." and another
lake in the same region IS "Lebarge' and not
"Labarge,' as it is usually spelled. Similarly
the Lewis" River should be the "LeWes"
River. "Dyea,'' at the head OF the Lynn Canal,
where the start is maze for ChIkoot Pass, has
been transformed into 'Taiya" by the boardN
but in this case the original word has got such
start that it will probably stick, incorrect as
it is In this matter there may not be much
in name, but 1t IS as well to have the name
correct after all
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
THE SWEETEST GIrIs OF LOVE

What shall give her-my little girl
With the soft dark eyes and the siiken net
OF tresses, with many d sun bright curl?
what snail give her-my owe, my pet?
hat shall give her of beauty and bliss
10 match the bright curs that she gives me to
kiss!
My love have given her that! tits cid
Old as her life, though her face is young:
have given my darling my heart to hold,
With the sweetest songs that my heart has
sung!
There Is nothing 10 give her only this
The kiss on the curlS that she gives me TO kiss!
She Is clim bing up to my arms-I see
The light of heaven in her lovely eyes;
Over the facA and the life of me
Curl on curl in its spendor liesl
Nothing TO give her save only This
The kiss on the curiS that she gives me to klssi
FRANK L. STANTON in Ladies' Christmas Home
Journal
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
DEVIOUS DEFINITIONS,
Phi adelphia Call.

Pillage-The art of man ufacturing pills.
WindmiII-A handorgan for grinding popu-
lar airs.
Ink-A fluid used by the few to enlighten
the many.
Secret-something woman gets some one
to help her keep.
Prudery-Awig sometimes used to cover the
badness of character.
Scalper-A ticket broker who lowers fare or
an Indian who raises hair.
Almanac-The cemetery in which the aged
joke is finally inferred.
SynOnym-A word that can be used in place
OF another when you DON'T know how to spell
the other.
Pessimist-A man who refuses to enjoy lis
dinner because he has no prospect OF one to-
morrow
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
CHAMPION FOR THE SPARROW
New YORK Tribune.

The sparrow has found an unexpected
champion In the Prime Minister OF France.
The farmers have recently been agitating in
favor OF the determination of the little bird,
and succeeded so far that decree was sub
mitted to Premier Meline for signature, giving
orders for the destruction OF the bird through
out the country by all available means. Be-
fore giving his sanction to the measure the
Prime Minister determined TO make an in
vestigation, in the course of which he has re-
celved s. much information in favor of the
birds, especially from the forestry department.
that he has not only refused 10 sign the
decree, but has announced that he is bout to
take steps to promote the increase OF the spe-
cies in consequence of its usefulness. IL
seems that the narm that il does to the crops
is more than counter balanced by the benefits
lars. worms and other insects that are SO detri-
mental 10 trees.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Mr. Gladstone's library contains 20, 900 VOL
umes.
The poet Burns spelled his name Burness
(his family name) until the publication OF his
poems in 1856.
Henry Labouchere always dictates his work
TO shorthand secretary. Although he has to
a great extent given UP the active editorial
work in connection with Truth. he makes a
point of passing all the proofs each week.
Alexander Mcdonald, the former Minister
to Persia, like all his predecess ors at the Shah
court, is a bachelor. The United States he
says, does not send married men 10 the court
of Teheran because the journey is almost too
rough for q woman.
W. F. Draper, United States EN- bassador to
Italy, writes to Postmaster Thomas OF Boston
about the very pleasant life of foreign Embas-
sadors in Rome. He remarks: ave have, as
the Scripture says, high places in the syna-
gogues and principal seats at feGsts."
Henry Stacy Marks, "the artist-bird fancier. ."
as he has been called, first became an Academy
student in 1851, and in the following year ne
went to Paris, where he remained five months
He always made birds a separate study, and
even now he spends a good deal OF his spare
time studying the feathered bipeds at the zoo.
Monsignor Gasparri, professor of canon law
in the Catholic Institute of Paris, has been ap-
pointed Apostolic Delegate in Peru, Bolivia
and the Equatorial Republics in place of Mon
signor Macchi, who goes to Brazil. He will re-
ceive his titular archbishopric at the next
consistory, which will not in all probability
be held before February.
Lady Henry Somerset has given the town OF
Reigate, England, sufficient land for the cree
ton OF ten almshouses. This gilt is in connec-
tion with the scheme for the erection of aims
houses at Reigate in commemoration of the
diamond jubilee. One of the conditions OF
the gift is that on the governing body of the
almshouses there shall be not less than three
women.
prize of virtue has been conferred by the
French Academy on Mile. Bonnefois, VIII has
devoted her life TO the education of the chill.
dren OF the forains the nomad popula tion oi
the booth and the caravan. She goes the
round of all the great fairs and sets up her
tent school among the shows and circuses, do
ing an immense amount of good, and she is
highly popular among her rough clients,
young and old.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
THE DYEA FORT OF ENTRY.

II ISPATCHES from Washington that protests
sent from and other on the Pacific
Coast against port OF entry at Dyea
had effect the mind of Secretary Gage
the whole
the decision making port OF entry at that point.
reviewing the himself the Secretary will
Commerce Committee of the Senate investigate
subject him in reaching conclusion Just
parties beneficial American industries altogether
likely he will defer 10 the of the Senate committee and
accordance with conclusions, COM
mee therefore, should send arguments
protest submitted to the Secretary.
general every seaport United States
right port entry privileges Government does
locality at the expense of another deprive
advantages it port
special privileges upon people residing other port
The Dyea however is exceptional in its geographi
cal and its commercial possibilities
ceptonaI also to the general law
The only region back OF Dyea which business will
be done in the future is that Kondik
region is Canada American goods KIon
dixie country pay Canadian duties
handicapped in competition with goods
permitted the Dyea and through
the Klondke bond To place the products
United States equal footing with those of Canada in the
whole OF the Upper Yukon Valley the object of the
against the established port entry at Dyea.
The strengthened by the fact that the
number OF people the Kondike likely go there
spring, United States is American
and American enterprise capital that mainly
instrumental in developing the Canadian we'll
can portion of the godReld right, therefore
that Americans should equal chance with Canadians
profting by rich trade o carried on there.
Under existing circumstances Dyea given port entry
privileges will be virtually Canadian rather
1t will be the through which products
Will be carried free OF
American goods subject duty. This will
certainly present Secretary Gage the Commerce
Committee when they investigate the subject aud may
confidently expect port be closed.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
n ew York Press

New York Press.
Every man has pet gesture which some
girl has told him has tragedy in 1t.
God forgives every crime; what makes our
he'll is that we can ever forgive ourselves
After the flood was over Noah's wife ALWAYS
claimed that the ark was due to her own fore.
sight.
When woman feels either happy or miser-
BILE she cries: when 81 man fee is either happy
or miserable he takes a rink.
A man can never ieel so mean and low down
that some woman who ought TO know better
Will not find some good excuse for him.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
CALIFORNIANS IN CHICAGO.

CHICAGO, Dec. 15.-At the Great Northern
II. J. Pfuger, Los Angeles; Lelsnd-Char;es
w. Pike, John J. Wlrtner, san Francisco;
Auditorium Annex-Henry Pierce, Mrs. P. A.
Hearst, maid and man servant, San Francisco.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

comprises seventy members. The first pro-
gramme was as follows: Overture to "Fanis-
ka," by Cherubini; symphony in Minor, "
by Dvorak; "Elegy and Waltz" by Tschai-
kowsky; selections from the Rustic Wed
ding, by GoldmarK. Italian, Bohemian, Rus
sian and Hungarian music-one could not be
moro eclectic.
A modest contemporary or J. s. Bach, the
cantor OF Saint Thomas Church, Leipsic.
Johann Hermann Sehein, born in 1886, at
Grunhaiu, Saxony, has just been rescued from
oblivion. His authentic portrait has just been
placed with a solemn service in the church of
Grunha1n, with commemorative plaque.
The Royal Philharmonic Academy of Rome,
charged with the execution OF the mass which
celebrates each year at the Parthenon, the an
niyersary OF the death OF King Victor En-
manuel, has chosen for the next ceremony an
unpublished mass and requiem, for chorus
and orchestra, by the composer AchiIle Lu-
oldi
According to the New York Journal, Pugno
is "noted French barytone,' and Ysaye is
the famous Belgian violinist and pianist"
Better hire music critic. Mr.. Hearstl
The most famous guitar player in the world d,
Antonio Cano, died lately al Madrid, aged Sc
years, in the deepest poverty. He was un-
rivaled in his mastery of his unthankfuI and
difficult instrument, which in his hands be-
came an orchestra
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
CALIFoRNIANs IN WASHINGTON

WASHINGTON, Dec. I5.-Raleigh-W. Orr,
Santa Monica; Normandie-A. Crutche, san
Francisco; Lawrence-G. S. Clarke. San Fran
cisco.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Bill-What was the peculiarly of the church
fair you attended last nighl2
Jill-Why, L never saw so many striking
women in my liie.-Youkers Statesman.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

The Duke OF Teck, who was left in rather un-
comfortable circumstances finally by the
death OF the Duchess. has had palace offered
to him by the King of Wurtemburg
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

"GRANGERs"-J. A. N. San Jose, Cal. At the
Stock Exchange the term granger is applied
to Western railroads that handle wheat When
an individual is dealing in STOCK of such com
panIes he Is said 70 be dealing in ..grangers .,
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Nine. Ysaye, wife OF the great violnist, who
is now in this country, is her hus sban ands assist
ant and secretary and manages all OF his
money matters.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

"BRowN's BRONCHIAL TRoCHEs' are a simple
and convenient remedy for Bro uchial fections
and Coughs. Sold only In boxes.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

CHRISTMAS and New Years Tables are incom-
plete without a bottle of DR. SIEGERTs ANGos-
TURA BITrERs the exqusitely Favored appetizer
Beware of limitations.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

THE DURRANT CAsE-K. T. NJ, Oakland, Cal
1t has been pretty clearly shown that Blan-
ther was not in San Francisco at the time that
Blanche Lamont and Minnie Williams were
murdered, cons sequently it is needless to form
any theory on that subject.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

CURE your cold with Lows horehound
cough syrup, price 10c, AIT Sansome ST. =
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
FLASHES OF FUN.

if possible, and to make a move it Dos.tb,.
carrying out his principles - Po0'A'4e' In
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

HELIGoLAND-F. j., Angels Camp, Cal Eng
land cedcd the island OF Helgoland to Ger
many in mpensation for territorial conces-
sions in Africa. By reason of this British
protectorate was eXtended over the domiu ion
of the Sultan of Zanzibar within the British
costal zone and over the islands OF Zanzibar
and Pemba
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

SPECIAL. information daily to manufacturers
business houses and public men by the PresI
Clipping Bureau Aliens. $40 Montgomery
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Lily Laugtry and the Prince of Wales censure
However recalled that both of come
through the process before and given sign either
or
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

An Eastern divine is making theory
with whiskers heaven. And whiskers
climate place bearded
a
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

OUTLETS potato, mushroom, filbert cake.
905 Larkln street.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

CALIFORNIA glace fruits. 5oo Id, Townsenda..
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

CITY OF EvERETT-G. Z. S, Decoto, CAL The
steamer City of Everett is on her way from Cal
cutta TO New York. There are no advices that
she will return 10 San Francisco. Her owners
are the American Steel Barge Company
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Alexander Mcdonald, the former Minister
to Persia, like all his predeces ors at the shahs
court, is a bachelor The United States he
says, does not send married men 10 the court
of Teheran because the journey is almost too
rough for q woman
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

It's pretty who will shoot game in Golden
Gate Pa rk where the quail hen
casual interest the
persons offense ought heavily fined
they will be obliged sell their guns keep jail
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

BLooD-W. Phflo, Cal The temperature OF
the blood does not vary in the human body so
long the body is properly nour1shed with
food that produces animal heat The normal
temperature is 9S.4. man may work in a
furnace-room wnere the heat is over 300
and the temperature OF the blood is always
the same.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Henry Labouchere always dictates his work
to shorthand secretary. Although he has to
a great extent given up the active editorial
work in connection with Truth. he makes a
point of passing all the proofs each week
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

1t is related that there hesancy about
ing resign of DR.. Ben from Preston school,
But goes hoped that he will his paddles
The scheme OF humping morality into boys has
never been notably successful.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

W. F. Draper, United States Embassador to
Italy, writes to Postmaster Thomas OF Boston
about the very pleasant life of foreign Embas-
sadors in Rome He remarks: ave have, as
the Scripture says, "high places in the syna-
gogues and principal seats at feGsts."
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
ANSWERS TO coRREsPoNDENrs

WRITE WITH EAsE-subscriber. City. THE
mob of gentlemen who write with ease" is
from POpes "Episte to Dr. Arburthuot, Pro-
logue TO the Satires first epistle OIL the sec
ond book OF Horace line los.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

the Examiner would proclaim its guilt OF thing
people might begin suspect Of being innocent
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Among the industries that depression affect and
require artificial booming perhaps that OF ynching
negroes most prominent place
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

AREA AND PoPULATIo N-Subs riber, Decoto,
Cal. Now that Brooklyn is part of Greater
New York, the following ten cities rank ac-
cording to population: NewYork area in square
miles 35975, population. 30 s5,492; Chicago
1S9 miles, l,I90,OOo; Philadelphia 129I5
miles, 1850 600; 81. Louis 6115 miles, $50
600; Baltimore AZ miles, 600, 900; Boston 43
miles, $4,000; Buffalo AZ miles, 375, ,O00
Cleveland 3l.3l4 miles, 10000; Ciucinnati
80 miles, 265,O00; San Francisco AZ 1-5 miles,
335 900
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

There is need of getting excited pyrotechnics
taking place Perhaps July up there
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

HENRY GEoRGE-H. A c., Centerville, Cal.
The principles of Henry George were enunci-
ated by the single-tax societies of which he
was the chairman. Generally his scheme was
to substitute common ownership of land in
place of individual ownership by levying taxa
tion on land to the full amount OF the rent.
and in no other way. His idea was that land
owners would be put on the same level as
other people, and that the state Woulu yirtu-
ally be the sole landlord; that wages would
rise and that the distrlbu ton of wealth
would De so lar equauZed as to raise the
poorest above the abject poverty which de-
ject Of his party in nominating him for Mayor
OF Greater New York was to have him elected.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

According to Tennessee law, rng is crime, but as
offense rated capital law naturally inef
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Perhaps the Bay Conference is right in giving Rev O.
Brown another chance but he has long had chance Keep
out of sight and hearing and has ia led to grasp
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16
NOTES ABOUT NOTABLES.

Mr. Glsdstone's library contains 90, 900 vol
umes.
The poet Burns spelled his name Burness
(his family name) until the publication OF his
poems n 1856.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

It's pretty who will shoot game IN Golden
Gate Pa rk where the quail the
rabbits with casual interest at the paserby
persons ought heavily fined
they be obliged sell their keep Jail
any hesitancy about accept
ing resign DR.. Bren school,
goes hoped will paddles with
him. The scheme of humping morality into lot of boys
been notably successful.
Lily Laugtry and Prince of Wales censure d.
However, recalled both have come
through the process before and sign either
blush.
Eastern divine is making theory
with whiskers to heaven And whskers won't
climate place bearded in
fix.
Among industries depression can affect and
require artificial booming perhaps Iynching
the South must be given the most prominent
Perhaps Bay Conference right in giving Rev c. O.
Brown chance long a chance to Keep
of sight and hearing, and has faed to grasp it.
Hearing pronounced must be far
agreeable everybody will hope gone
through the ordeal for the last time
people of this country oppose aon
of All that necessary do this was
tell the truth about the scheme
What comfort starving Klondiker to get
yellow journal and read the information
no famine the Yukon.
According a Tennessee law rting is crime but as
capital naturally inef
fecve.
Examiner would proclaim lis guilt any thing
people might begin it of being occasion
ally.
There is need of getting excited pyrotechnics
taking place Perhaps it's Fourth
Red clogs laws wheels is the telegraph
item. OF course This is red
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Hearing ones death pronounced
and everybody will hope Durrant gone
through the ordeal for the last time
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

Red tape clogs laws wheels is the head telegraph
item. OF course This is what red tape is for.
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

OF the people of this country oppose
of Hawaii. All that necessary make them was
to tell truth about the scheme
The San Francisco call., 1897-12-16

comfort it would be a starving Klondiker to get
yellow journal and read the information there is
n famine the Yukon.