The morning times., 1897-02-21

IN bachelor apartments in town, he had
several things to pride himself about.
He had made an honorable record; no
one in the Northrop family had ever
dlsgraced the name; his windows We're
provided with burgIar-proof locks of
his own invention, and he had a sang
froid which nothing could startle him
out OF. The Colonel was well satisfied
with himself and the world at large,
and those who knew him best said ne
ought TO be. Army life had given him
good health. and ne boasted that moth
ing could disturb his slumbers when he
once fell asleep.
Al midnight one night Colonel Nor
throp came home from his club in his
usual good hunor, and finding a couple
or letters on his table, sat down to read
them before going TO bed When finally
ready TO retire, he was half asleep. and
he was no sooner between the sheets
than he departed for the land of Nod.
just one hour later by the clock he
opened his eyes and sat up in bed, a
thing which hadn't happened since his
boYhood days.
Some sound had disturbed him, but just
what ii was he could not tell. The idea
that any sound should thus influence him
aroused his ire, and after a moment he
spTang out of ted and lighted the gas
He meant to make "A tour nf his rooms and
see If his celebrated buTglar-pro0f win
dow locks were all right, but as he was
ready o move he was jumped foot high
Toy the sound Of sneeZe under his bed
Ii was i mans sneeze-a hearty, whole
some sneeZe with d note OF defiance in
it. The Colonel had boasted that nothing
could startle him out Of his everyday pla-
cidiuy. but a mere sneeZe had done it, and
he was furOIs about it. He dropped on
his knees and looked under the bed, and
what hr saw was a man stretched at full
length on the floor
"Ha' You rascal, but I've got youi''
exclaimed the warrior as ne made cut tn,
form OF the Intruder
Il guess not, Colonel was the cool re
ply
An army Icy Diver, endeared 10y old as
RociationS. Tcposcd in a drawer not fas
away. and the Co,crei jumped for il arC
said.
Now. then. you ru4l out here or IT
blow your head off,
GO q !ttle slow. Colonel - replied It's
man under the bed. I've also got q
gun, and the instant you stoop down In
send bullet into YOU
-'You-you wili?'
Il viii FOR sure. and guess I'll shoot
at one OF your legs as it is
Acting on the impulse OF the moment,
the Colonel sprang upon his bed, but fif-
teen seconds later lie was 80 mad to think
he had Jumped that he leaped to the floor
with the exclamation;
Iaar
MANI
That's all bluff, Colonel said the
Intruder. Pull on your trousers and sit
down and take things easy"
The Colonel obeyed. He oDcyed be-
cause it suddenly struck him that he didn't
look digniiied without trousers, and that
he would need them anyway when he came
to escort the man outdoors and hand him
over to the police. He sat down because his
knees treIslbled under him, and that very
fact made him boil over with anger and
chagrin With the revolver pointed under
the bed he queried:
when did you get into this room?''
About IL o'clock. Colonel"
How did you get in?''
Through that window to your left
You thought yourself smart when You put
Ildl NslAttti tdbGil On Al4e nttSlltaSs DNl IL
did not bother me five minutes. l wish all
windows were provided with such soft
snap
I say you never got in by that windowr
shouted the Colonel, who had repeatedly
told his friends that he would give any
burglar leave to work on his patent all
night.
Then I'm a liar, and you are gentle
man! However, don't blame you for feel
ing j bit sore. l heard OF your patent and
your boasting long ago, and knew could
take you down peg when had afew min
utes to spare. 1t was easy, Colonel, dead
easy
But what are you in here for?''
Robbery, Colonel; that's my trade, You
know. l had pal with rne, who took off
bag OF stuff, while / stayed behind to
investigate further, and was hiding under
the bed when you came in. l was about to
crawl out and go through your clothes,
when you " oke.''
Now, then, are you coming out?'' thun-
dered the plOnel
Wen, hardly-not just yetr'
Then In shoot you where you arel''
mo. you won't. The minute see your
legs moving / shall open fire on them.
From where you sit your bullets can 'treach
me. while have deadsure thing on your
legs Go slow, Colonel.
The Colonel was up on strategic posi-
tions. and he realized that the enemy had
all the advantage. While furiously angry,
he retained al his common sense, and fig
ured that he must temporize. If he was TO
capture instead OF being captured, ne must
resort to diplomacy. He therefore con
troIled himself 10 say:
You must see that YOU cannot escape.
md it viii be better If you quietly sur
render"
That's where we differ. Colonel, calmly
replied the man under the bed IAN !
have to do is TO shoot you through the
legs and make my way out through the
window. 1t depends on you, however
WHATS the use OF being 50 peppery about
trffles. man Of your age and habit,
should have perfect control over himself"
You william hissed the Colonel be-
tween his clinChed teeth
NO use to call names ] might call you
an old brag andblowhard, butthat wouldn't
help the case any. Its always better To
argue n point. WHAT is the exact time,
Colonel?"
Its time ] called in the police and
had you out Of this, and here goes''--
Click. click! 1t was the man under
the bed getting ready to fire on the
Colonels legs, and the Colonel happily
realized it and fell back into his chair
There won't be any police called in
here before I'm gone" said the stranger
in his cool. calm way. AFTER I'm out
you can raise all the racket you want