New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-03-10
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

An English provincial paper recently printed the
following paragraph: I'VE Informed by the
American press that Governor Leedy, OF the State
of Kansas. is drunkard. When 1t IS remembered
that teeotalism prevails in Kansas. the nom
chalance with which this disgraceful admission Is
made indicates a low standard OF public opinion in
the States" Americans need hardly be reminded
that the solemn who wrote this msread the
paragraph on which he comments II was stated
that Governor Leedy IS a Dunkard.
Rank Iniustice.-The Editor of THE Jazetown
Banner picked up one Of his metropolitan
The charming little soubrette. Eva Hollis -Whop-
per; has just purchased new bulldog"
cat. that these here city papers publish that sor;
of bo s14 and then Rrn make fun Of me for
Cincinnati Enquirer
Farm Poultry" says that Isaac Wilbur OF Little
Compton, X. l.. has the largest poultry farm In
the world. He ships from 10000 to 10000 dozen OF
eggs year He keeps his fowls the colony
plan. housing about forty in a house sxO or sxl2
feet In size. these houses being about 10 feet
apart set out In long the gently sloping
fields. lie has 100 OF these houses. scattered over
three or four fields. The food is loaded into a low
wagon. which is driven about to each house In
turn. the attendant feeding as he goes at the
afternoon feeding the eggs are collected. The fowls
fed twice day. The morning food is mash
of cooked vegetables and mixed meals: this mash
Is made up the afternoon OF the day before. The
afternoon feed is whole the year round.
Magistrate 10 prsonerl-It appears that you have
given the prosecutor black eye.
Prsoner-Yes. Your Worship; but am willing
to give him sovereign compensation.
prisoner says. Are you willing to accept the
ereign?
Prosecutor (excedly)-Raythur. sor. Cro prs-
oneO Come outside an black the other OF. me
bhoy,-0 london Fun.
An old darky at the Tuskegoe conference the
other day said OF his I'VE holler and shout
TOO much. and jump up like we crazy. 1t Is
sad thing to preach the Gospel-the saddest thing
this side OF the grave. Our churches plumb
full OF hypocrites. II breaches the pure Cos
pei they don't want to hear HIM"
Uncle David thinks that a dictionary is the most
useless book ever printed. He says that you can't
find out by II how 10 spell word unless you know
how to spell 1t in the first place. This remark was
made after an hours search among the ks for
the word NATURALIZATION Transcript.
Commenting on the fact that n trolley road Is
about TO be built TO the foot OF old Cheops "rhe
Cairo Egypt SPHINX says: Next there will be Il
restaurant on the top of that giant pile. and
hydraulic lift TO carry one to the top. The times
are indeed changed and with them. Drink
Cheops bitters" Pyramid beer Is the best. After
visiting Chufus tomb. take Parasyneraterkolo-
poulos brandy These and others will greet the
eyes Of visitors to the pyramid next year. The
fates forfend. and may the Society for the Pres
ervation Of Egyptian Antiquities forbid Oh
Cairenes. If you wish to disgust the best class OF
visitors you are going the right way to do It,"
Iygenics Rapid eating" explained the trav-
elling physician at his free lecture, lis the curse
Of American civilization. Two-thirds Of the sick
ness IL caused by National habit OF eating IA
full meal In fifteen minutes"
IL s'pose." inierjected Nh. Dismal Dawson. that
that there is the reason I'm healthy I ain't
eat full meal In fifteen days" -(Indianapolis
Journal
The inmates of the Provincial I.unatic Asylum
OF St John. ~ b.. publish n monthly Journal called
"rhe Lancaster Argus" which In many respects
Is creditable production Though It's editors and
writer's are all insane. 1t seeks for circulation
among people. considerable number OF
whom advertise In II and subscribe for IT, put
your ad.' In The Lancaster Argus" says the
editor. IAN elegant. moral and refined mscel-
ature wit and humor. prose and poetic gems and
original matter written expressly for this paper
Nothing of immoral nature will be adj
mtted into It's columns therefore making II en-
phatically paper for the million and n welcome
visitor to the home circle"
Mrs Grace-They say that men think only OF
themselves. hut II isn't I'm sure Charles In the
most unselhsh OF mortals
Mrs Blaze-As for example,
Mrs Gracefully. he says he Is happy hut
when he II with me; and he stays out evening
after evening. There isn't that self-denial for
you?-(Boston Transcript