The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-09-15
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

- The man who thinks he is clothed
in righteousness usually has a misft.
- Blessings in disguise usually
have a hard times proving their idcn-
tity.
An Indianapolis man sworc in
court the other day hat he did not
know his wife's first name, though
they had lived happily together for
thirteen years.
-''Why do you think him such a
fool ?" ''He asked me to marry him,
and of course I refused the first time,
and he didn't have sense enough to
ask me again
The latest official statistics show
that the depositorS in New York say
ing banks number $4,000 more and
have s2G, DOC, 1000 more to their credit
than a year ago.
= Daughter, what time did your
company leave last night?' "Why,
papa, he started home at BALI
"Never mind when he started; / want
to know when he left
II don't see how getting ones
feet wet causes toothache.' "You
don't? If you had ever had 4 tooth
pulled, you would know that the roots
run clear to your toes
An editor became martial and
was created captain. On parade, in
stead of ''two PAGES in front-ad-
vance y he unconsciously bawled out,
"Cash-two dollars a ycar-advance!!'
- \ little fresh-air child saw a herd
of COWS for the first time, and after
watching them chewing their cuds, in
amazcment. he said, deprecatingly, to
the former, ooh, mister, do you have
to buy gum for all those cows
"What a silly cxpression-'no
more sense than the law allows! Did
you ever know a man who had more
sense than the law allowed 2 Ger
tainly. The jails are full Of fellows
who got there by being too smart
- The greatest of Injuries in Cen
trail Africa is salt. The long %contin-
ued use of vegetable food in that
country creates so painful a longing
for salt that natives deprived of it for
a long period often show symptoms of
insanity.
"A Kentucky womau has been
fined $3.50 for giving her daughters
beau too warm a reception. She
scalded him. But after all it may
have been a lucky scald, for if he had
married that girl his mother-in-law
might have kept him in hot water the
rest of his life.
A Lyons Francc) cyclist, a plum
Der by trade, who had undertaken to
ride around the coping-stone of house
in course of construction, successfully
accomplished his feat in the presence
of a large gathering. This coping
stone is barely two feet wide, and is
about fifty feet from the ground.
-"Huh p snorted the husband who
had been inveigled into attending the
rendition of a sermon. "Call him a
boy preacher! He is forty if he is a
day." "Hc does look hat way"
said the wife. "But," she continued,
in her anxiety to plead, 'don't you
think he has the mind of a boy {"
- Thomas A. Edison was once asked
the reason why he is a total abstaincr.
He replied, in effect: because [
always felt that I had a better use for
my head than to fog it with liquor!!'
The world would, indeed. have lost a
good DEALT the Edison brain had been
confused by Incorporate practices.
- The hair on the heads of most of
the hundreds of thousands Of dolls
now being exhibited in shop windows
is made from the hair Of the Angora
goat. This product is controlled by
an English syndicate, and is valued at
10000 pounds a year. After the hair
is prepared it is sent to Munich and
made into wigs by girls.
- Mrs. Briskc-'Johnny, did the
doctor call while I was out?' Little
johnny stopping his play)-"Yes'm.
lie felt my pulse an looked at my
tongue, and shook his head and said
it was a very serious case, and he left
this prescription and said he'd call
again before night" Mrs. Briskc-
"Gracious me! 1t wasn't you | sent
him to see it was the baby"
= The following amusing incident
occurred in Washington on last Sunday
morning: \ colored lady asked a
colored man to please tell her what
was on a paper which she handed him.
He looked as though he did not care
to. She continued to push him to
answer her inquiry. The colored gem
tleman says: "Look hyrc, gal, you
know | went to night school. how you
think I can read in day time 2