The herald., 1897-01-31
84V44$Se77344S4 S4774794S%S$S
! DR.. PERKS PARTY f:


said her husband.
women with clothes always do.
go where?" said I.
Anywhere. Augustus likes to gener-
; alize, you know.
"Generalizing is pardonable where no
exception can be proved" said Angus
tus. II affirm that my wife has never In
her life refused an invitation when 1t was
possible to accept it"
But to particularize," said I glanc-
ing at the note of invitation.
ITO particularize," said Augustus. we
have been asked to q mad tea party and
my wife means to CO."
Don't talk as If were going alone,
Augustus" said Anthea. And we were
mute.
"They are not really mad" she went
on. "And we have often been there be-
fore. It's our old friend DR.. Perks, you
know. He has a big house near here,
and receives people who are not quite
right They have hallucinations or
something. But really they are some
times very nice and quite sensible. too.
Last year we dined there, and there was
q Lady Mills in the house-really a
charming woman. But (wasn't it sad?)
she thought she was the queen. In other
respects she was as sane as you or 1.
She talked well, and she played whist
exceptionally WELL Didn't she, Angus
tus?"
'She won seven and six from me-" said
Augustus, COMPRISING his lips, and as
| she was the queen l could not tell her
| that thought"
| You have to humor them," interrupt
| ed Anthea, who had heard about the
| seven and six before.
| Anthea then looked around the lunch
| con table and remarked that she thought
Mabel Dering and Mr.. Tapson were the
| only nice ones of the party, and that
/ WA r.
| riage.
II should like very much to CO." said
| firmly.
| The carriage came arond at o'clock
and at 4:40 Anthea sailed downstairs and
remarked, with a smile. that her clock
was all wrong and that she hoped she
| had kept no one waiting.
| 1t was grilling hot and Tapson and I,
| who sat with our backs to the horses
| in the landeau and dreamed of ham,
mocks slung under cool, shady trees, cor
| daily agreed with everything she said.
Mabel Dering looked little frightened;
she said she hoped Dr. Perks patients
wouldn't do anything.
Dr. Perks, the butler said, had been
most unexpectedly called away. He had
left note for her ladyship. Would her
ladyship care to go into the garden and
wait? DR.. Perks hoped to be back by
$50 o'clock.
the garden, crawling about on their
hands and knees, were four lunatics-a
very stout lady. young man with
wild eye, a pretty, feeble looking girl,
and an elderly gentleman. The young
man raised himself upright and planted
his toes firmly in the bank.
How do?' he said. IF I start I'll
run into you"
II can't turn my head" said the stout
lady, still swarming vigorously up
ward.
The feeble girl looked around suddenly
and in so doing lost her balance and
started down the bank al run, holding
out her arms and crying a. the top of her
voice, stop me! stop mel"
Miss Dering took refuge behind An
thea, but Tapson bravely held out his
arms and caught the flying figure.
Scotland Yard" cried the feeble girl,
that was rummy so! Glad 1 didn't
| floor you"
| AS the afternoon wore on we discover
| ed that this poor things mania was that
| she was "a very fast, sporting girl. She
never spoke without using slang or
| swearing-but always in the wrong
| place, of course, as mad people always
! do. Her whole appearance suggested
| fancy work and Sunday schools, and one
| could picture her as the happy wife OF
| country curate.
Were looking for wires" she said
| to Tapson.
soda water wires, you know" shout
! ed the fat lady from near the top of the
| bank.
You must all lend hand" said the
feeble girl. mo shirking," she called
out with loud laugh, as Mabel and An
| thea were stealing away; you really
must help"
"Humor them, humor them" said
'Tapscn in professional whisper, going
| down on his hands and knees on the
| grass.
My back is breaking" whispered
Anthea to me, kneeling upright and rub
bing some grass off her hands; couldn't
| you slip into the house and get a soda
water bottle and some wire and pretend
We had found it? 1t might satisfy
| them"
AT this moment there was an un-
earthly yell from the top of the bank
| and then a tremendous cracking of
| branches as the fat lady lost her bal
ance and disappeared into some thick
| low bushes on the other side of the bank.
The elderly gentleman made a gallant
attempt to save her, but only succeed
ed in disappearing into the bushes him
self.
In due time we extricated them all:
the feeble girl, who helped US In the task
swearing genially the whole time.
After this the whole party declared
| that WIRE hunting was over for the sea-
son.
Close time" said the feeble girl.
Il think, said Anthea, I'VE ought to
be getting home. If someone-my car
! riage-"
"Oh, you mustn't go till DR.. Perks
comes back" said the fat lady.
Besides there are the lights to see. :"
cried the wild-eyed young man-"green
eyes and born among the grass, and
tWinkling pale pink stars, and lights so
white maid might think that diamonds
glittered there"
And cold potato pie" cried the fa t
lady, don't forgt the cold potato Die.
We can't possibly let you 60" she said
to Anthea.
You are prisoners here till DR.. Perks
comes" said the elderly gentleman, in
a sepulchral whisper.
we had tea In summer-house, but
the fat lady drank whisky and soda.
The Wild-eyed young man ate cake
solemnly and in great quantities, occa-
sionally muttering wierd incantations
over the toothsome morsel. He seemed
much attracted by Mabel Dering. at
whom he glared in a most alarming
manner most of the time
Would DIR. Perks never come!
Il would so with thee into some sweet
wild glade and there converse awhile" /"
said the young man to Mabel
She began to gesticulate at me, and I
gathered that she wanted me to test my
speed in running by flyng to the sta hIes