The Camden chronicle. (Camden, Tenn.) 1890-current, 1897-12-17
HUMoR or THE DAY.

"a splendid ear, but a very poor
voice, as the organ grinder said 30
the donkey. Tit.Bits.
81 suppose your brother has quite
given up his walking expeditions now
that he has q cycle" Eyes, he has
broken his left leg. Standard.
Sat what age were you married?'
she asked, inquisitiyely. But the
other lady was equal 30 the emergency
and quietly responded: "At the par
sonage.
Mrs. sDrookett -"I'll give you some
thing 70 eat II you'll do some work for
me" Willie-"5aw wood, s'pose?"
Mrs. lSprockett-"'No, clean my
wheel. Judge.
Hunter-''There goes Durham; he's
onlya milkman, and yet no always acts
as If he wanted the earth" Punter-
''That's natural enough /; he knows it's
three-fourths water"
Dorothy had just been stung by
wasp. 81 wouldn't a minded its
walking all over my hand, she said
between her sobs, Gift ii hadn't sat
down so hard. "-Pittsburg Bulletin.
Caller--"Nellie, is your mother IMP"
Nellie-''Mother is out shopping"
Caller-"When will she return, Nell
lie?" Nellie calling back - Mamma,
what shall 1 say now?"-Harper's
Bazaar.
Mamma" said the pretty young
parvenue, "what do they mean by cod
fish aristocracy?" 81 don't know,
dear" replied her mother, placidly,
"less it's folks that pay fer every
thing G. o. D."-Washington Capital.
He Cat the hotel table)-"Tve often
wondered how these walters can re-
member so many orders at once. I
know now" She (who had often Won
dered the same thing do you?
How can they remember so much?"
He (triumphOntly)-"They don't. -
Detroit Free Press.
Miss Meadowsweet-''E Excuse my
ignorance, but ought to call you Mr..
i Squills or DR.. Squills?" The Doctor
-"Oh, call me anything you like.
Some of my friends call me an old
foolr Miss Meadowsweet-"Ah but
that's only people who know you in
timatelyw-London Punch.
Young man." said the veteran
manager, 'your melodrama shows
originality and Imagination. care
you serious?" asked the young play
wright, doubtfully. Perfectly" said
the manager; "but you shouldn't lose
time writing plays; man of your
talent should be theatrical press
agent. Puck
''Now, Robbie" said mamma just
before company sat down to dinner,
remember, you must not ask for more
pie" Robbie didn't; but he finished
his first piece with much promptness,
took long breath, and addressed him
self very audibly to the guest at his
right. "Ain't that dandy pie?" he
asked. Judge.
"What makes you think that Mr..
, Kitzoerewski started that story that he
is going to marry Miss Fleete?" "Be-
cause" said Sherlock Holmes, solemn
ly, "his name was spelled right in
4 every newspaper in which the story
{ appeared, and it never would have
l been unless he had personally attended
: to the proof-reading Washington
Capital.
e 81 always did dislike men who have
$ no ear for music, said one girl; "and
now 1 dislike them more than ever.
y Charley Nevergo called to see me yes
l terday evening. At II o'clock I wen
e to the piano and played Home, Sweet
;? Home. First played it as a ballad
: He didn't move. Then [ played it al
l a waltz and next as polka, and thel
r as a jig" "And what did he do?" "H,
IS said, Gracious, Miss Jones what
}. Jolly lot of tunes you know! And al
! so different. Odds and Ends.