Pike County press. (Milford, Pa.) 1895-1925, 1897-07-02
PEN SKETCH
A Picture From Real Life by III" Of
Layton.

Layton.
Again 1t becomes necessary TO pay my
compliments to 'HonestY John" 1t is
with some reluctance thpt / proceed to do
this In the manner purpose doing for the
time was when this man was friend, and
as far as l am concerned, he should still be.
While 1t pains me to expose the frailties OF
this so-called christian gentleman, feel it
to be a solumn duty, and shall necessarily
use plain English to do justice to his case.
Had he not in an evil hour listened to bad
advisers, and became the willing tool of
those who for a year, or more, huve used
the Gazette as a medium through which
TO villify me he would not have become
the subject Of this pen picture. a man
sense (as Honest John is not) would not
be thus used to traduce u friend. A glance
at the make up of his mug will convince
any one that nature as an architect failed
to include sufficient room in his top story
for any great amount of brains, hence rs
have remarked before we should not per
haps be too hard ON Honest John for what
he does dot know But lack of wit docs
not Justify lying, and that is what l am
going to find fault about. In the Gazette
OF June %, he retracts one of his falsehoods
only In regard to the failu OF the Pine
Hill hennery, and in a manner characteris-
tic of the man tells three OF four more lies
in order to soften the effect Of the first one.
When he said 1 was seen in Branchville
with basket Of hen fruit on one arm,
one on the other containing dairy products
wearing a cutaway coat with PIKE
COUNTY Press sticking out of either
pocket, he groups four silly lies together
in very small space. First never wear
cutawny coat. Second no one ever saw
me in Branchville with any PIKE COUNTY
PRESSES sticking out of my pockets Third
nor with basket of eggs on one arm, and
dairy products on the other At least
three lies from the whole cloth. What
must the eople of Branchville who read
the Gazette and are well acquainted with
my methods of doing business think of a
correspondent WHO will write such trash,
and of the Gazette for printing it. If they
know Honest John as well as some of his
neighbors do they would wonder why the
Gazette and the Deformed church of Be
vans do not kick him out altogether They
will be forced to do so eventually so that
people may read the one and Join or re
main in the other without feeling of
being disgraced by the company they are
in. have always been taught to believe
that a man who viii lie is not good news
paper correspondent nor good member Of
church, in fact that man who will lie
will be very liable to fracture the eighth
commandment May be these are old
fashioned notions, yet if 1 lived in the
neighborhood of such man let it be an
Honest John or Highram Hankins or
whoever else, should certainly keep II
sharp eye on my hen roosts, and a shot gun
handy. l suggest TO the Gazette that since
H jnest John told two lies in tho Gazette
of June 18th regarding me, and in retract
ing one told three or four more, that judg-
ing from the make up of the man 1 anti
cipate he will keep up the arithmetical
progression and tell six or eight lies next
time and so on until the Gazette will not
have room to contain them all, or until
the fate of Annanias bsfalls him of which
there appears enough likelihood to justify
the Gazette Company in beginning at once
to take out life Insurance. on this degeno-
rate scribe as a paying business invest
m mt OF course Honest John has been
suffering some from big head since finding
out he could write for the papers and the
two Edwards at Layton who have grieyan-
ces and sore spots of their own have got
poor Highram in som 3thing like the same
position the old man got his grandson
with the hornets nest The old gentleman
says, sez he, Jakey just pinch the hole shut
and then you can cut it off, and do as you
like with it. J9key in pinching the hole
shut pinched the end of the nest off, and
the angry hornets-well you can imagine
the rest better than l can tell it, Perhaps
Highram has wit enough to extract NOR
al from this and if so, may it rebound to
his" eternal welfare, TO the glory of the
church of which he is such brilliant head.
light, aud the ediflcation of his assistants
who furnish hiir, with spurious ideas when
he finds none in his own knowledge box
IT