New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-08-04
Tales of Humor.

It was delivered not long after he had
entered congress. One day while he was
making somewhat labored argument,
an older member tired to break HIM up
by putting a question to him suddenly
and demanding an immediate answer.
Reed gave the answer readily. Then he
paused, turned to the speakers desk and
drawled out: Sand now, having en-
balmed that fly in the liquid amber OF
my remarks, I will go on again. The
house roared; the galleries took it up.
The newspaper correspondents sent it
flying all over the country, and, to his
own surprise more than any ones else,
Reed found himself a man of note from
that hour.-Illustratcd American.
1t happened recentlyS that while Sena-
tor Allen was making one of his speech
es, there was noticeable scarcity Of SEN
atcrs in the chamber. One of those
present suggested that there was not a
quorum present. Some sparring on this
point followed and the member with
drew his suggestion. Il will. not insist
upon the call for a quorum" he said. Il
did not design to interrupt the senator
from Nebraska, but thought he would
probably like to have more senators here
to listen to him.
Il am obliged to the SENATOR" replied
Mr.. Allen. ''I'd rather talk to empty
seats than to some senator's
One day, says the San Francisco Post,
a stranger came to the: town and put up
at the pleading hotel.'' One OF those
sand storms, that blow everything but
the mortgages off the ranches, was rag
ing, but that did not keep the real estate
dealer from going about his work as u.s.
ual. He pulled his sombrero over his
eyes, clung to the buildings on the shell
tered side of the street, and fought his
way to the hotel, CROPPED for the door
and finally landed inside in the presence
of the stranger.
snow, sir, if you want anything IN the
way of choice building lots,'' said he, as
he dug the sand out of one eye, II would
be glad to show you some."
ooh, I've been standing at the win
dow watching your lots go by" said the
visitor, "but I haven't seen anything l
like. If I do happen to see. anything
that suits me, I'll let you know
The Cleveland Plain Dealer is entitled
to credit for the following yarn:
A bridge had collapsed. The train
upon it had gone down into the chasm.
The coroner's jury was endeavoring to
fix the responsibility. A famous expert
was on the witness stand
s'Sl," said the coroner, with consider
able Difference, s:to what do you attri~
butte the collapse Of the structure"
The great expert dellberated.
"Weight," he said
The coroner, and the jury, and the
NEWSPAPER men, and the friends Of the
deceased all waited.
Presently the coroner broke the silence
care you now prepared to favor us
with your opinion?' he gently inquired.
The great expert looked surprised.
"As to what?" he asked.
GAS to the cause of this disaster?'
"Why," quoth the expert, Il have al
ready given it,
"And what did you say it was?" quer-
led the astonished official.
81 said weight. Too much weight.
The bridge couldn't stand it: 1t fell
down. That's ALL
And the great man was excused.
In the summer of 1910 Henry Clay
went to Kentucky on his vacation.
Three nights after his arrival at Ger
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