The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-04-11
PHnADHLrH1A STOW, xor 1rUoH.
A Adventure mat ChsnEea = view Workers.
Ideas OF the Quaker City.

~ Adventure mat ChnuHeo = NOW HtEAN
Ideas OF the Quaker Il
Talk about New York being a lively place"
said the man on the fcrryboat, you can put me
down as voting for Philadelphia's plurality in
the respect OF having more kinds OF lveliness
than any other city in the East. I've just es-
capped from there alive, and l tell you the place
is too swift for me. Here in New York you know
what you're up against. You may be banged
into eternity by a cablo car or hustled of the
earth by an ambulance speeding TO the relief OF
n distressed lady who has Just sat down on a
banana peel. or dubbed TO a jelly by an inteilt'
gent, brand.new policeman any Sunday that
you're discovered abroad without n sworn nfii-
davit that you're on tho way TO church; but
those things are all in the days work, and you
know how to look out for 'em. In the Quaker
City you never know what's coming next and an
instance Of IL is what happened to me to-day.
Some business had kept me on the hustle all
the morning. l was pretty tired by noon, and 1
started up Broad street to get some lunch at the
Bellevue. That's right in the heart Of the city.
and Broad street Is really the principal street.
Well. I'd got pretty near there when heard
n rumpus going on Just around the corner.
People were yelling:
look outi Clear tho wayi Get out Of the
way thcre!'
"'This must be q bad man with a knife. or a
mad dog on tho jump, or something that's
healthy to dodge, I said to myself. Guess this
is my formal notification to get out the way.
to see what was going TO happen. In about two
seconds the Notwithstanding man I ever saw
bniEed out so that atto yo% could have Knocked 'em
of will a stick. His mouth was open and his
tongue out. and he was ealloping at e 2:4o gait.
mans got to be awful scared when he gallops.
This chap was doing the real thing, His fat
stride, or rather, a pair OF strides. for n man gal
lops by twos, you. know: It's one.two. one-two;
h heS it, a. h hong yge fieR iash he sn sams w Sny; a hi long r ana
":Heip.helpi Hclp-help, Help-help.'
Il was SO interested in the stunts he was do
ing that ! didn't think to look and see what was
the matter. He had an umbrella, and as he came
up close ! could see him trying to open it.
"'Great powers!' I said to myself. It's o
cyclone. That chaps fleeing from the wrath Of
got the umbrella open and faced around. He
was B Sfs' Eor Tind Ha'i ri Xii f me. Of H E52r Riii S 2stt;
Cyclone nothingl' I said to myself, and I
Then I saw what 1t was. 1 don't know what
a eSrn dslf ike 4 1t GO lons; eat s It Sa@e Af It Ras tf 1ss
b big 81. sheep ! ever r. saw; one Of these sheep
and he had a right to the name. The way he
came flying down that sidewalk was enough to
tree inside four stone walls. The poor devil
with the umbrella turned green and white
~",'Ow-wow! he yelled. Help! Police! oh,
1T didn't take the ram long to get there. The
man held his umbrella at charge ~bayonets and
the ram sailed through the air and the umbrella
and hit him square on the watch chain. /
wouldn't like TO tell you how many backward
fip-fiaps that fellow did. 1t even surprised the
ram. He stopped and looked around and 1
"FThat's your finish. my boy. ! said to myself.
| You'll be an unidentified dead II that beast
comes your way and turned my face toward
the wall. II he ever hit me l knew Id go right
clean through into the house. and l wanted TO
go in face first.
Nothing happened. and ! thought | heard tho
rams feet going on, but / wasn't sure enough 10
turn around. The groans Of the umbrella chap
disheartencd me. too. and / stood there thinking
OF my happy home In New York, until l heard a
lot OF voices and the changing OF "a bell, and there
was an ambulance come 10 take the victim
the ambulance surgeon il the man was much
hurt. He pointed to what was LEFT Of the UNI
brella and said:
lilies in about the sam fix that thing is
There wasn't a whole rib in the umbrella.
"Wherc's tha: ;wo.horaei devil ? l said
Somebody pointed down the street. Way
the artists call the middle distance there was a
bus horse lying down and a few hundred people
could hear another ambulance gong. too.
THAT let's me out / said. I'm going TO get
out OF this town before that curly-headed sheep
That's what l did. TOO. ! sneaked around
back streets and got a train, and l didn't draw
a full breath till We reached Trenton for fear
that animal might take after US and butt the
NO. SIR concluded the escaped one as the
me about Philadelphia being slow. tell youa
man has got TO be faster than an express train
there TO have a chance for his life. / don know
life there. but il l ever go to Philadelphia again
I'm going to get a suit OF armor with TWO breast
plates and put it on hindside before