The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-07
or T'lE CRANK
Why Ee Selso.a Nic,.a the
Whise les.
ArrEcrlp ~ TIE HARD TlI1s.

Craal.s IN Ii-colas eai I@Jes' -inlcs-Oid
Fashioned Methods ct the White House.
A strange Scene at tie Chinese Lega-
ton.
WASHINGTON. April 2. - Especial. l.
/ There are not many cranks at the White
/ House these days. The officials at tho
mansion say the times are too hard, and ii
is too difficult To get money with which to
travel. Yet now and then a crank does
show up AT the presidents palace" as
they called the White House i'm the old
days, though his visit does not always find
its way into the newspapers The police
men and doorkeepers at the executive man.
sion do everything in their power to sup
press news of cranks. They go upon the
principle, which experience has shown To
be well founded that the more the news
papers have 10 say about cranks at the
White House the more cranks there are to
deal with. The average crank likes moth
ing So much as publicity.
A few days ago one of these gentry
showed UP at the White House door. He
announced himself as u Knight OF Malta,
or Cavalier of the Golden Fleece. He
w SturO away lOT ArilicHll u
fight tho Turks in behalf of the Christians.
He had been given mission from on high
and all he wanted was one of the presi-
dents best horses, IA letter of authority and
an order upon the steamship companies for
his passage. He would do the rest, and
promised to have all the Armenians res
cued and all the bloody Turks in their
graves within month after his arrival on
the other side.
In Bygcne Days.
When General Hayes was president, the
cranks were numerous. Almost every day
one of them appeared. They were of all
sorts. They generally wanted to he taken
at once before the president, that they
might tell him how to save humanity or
assist him in running the government.
One day President Hayes had had great
many callers. After he had seen several
dozen senators, representatives and others
he asked his secretary if there were any
more visitors Eyes, there are two men
waiting to see you" said the secretary,
"and one of them is crazy" "Well, send
me in tho sane one, said the president.
SO the secretary ushered the wholesome
visitor into the presidents room and with
drew.
"Sir," exclaimed the stranger with great
dignity and impressiyeness, drawing HIM
self up la his full height, 81 am the en-
peror of the world, and 1 have come here
to take possession of the White House and
the government You may get out, if you
please"
President Hayes rang his bell, and when
the secretary had appeared he said:
''If this is the sane one of tho two, please
have him taken away and send me in the
maniac"
A Magic Wand.
Colonel Hay, our new ambassador to
London, told me the other day that in
Lincoln's time they had their full share of
trouble with cranks at the White House.
Mr.. Hay, it will be remembered, was as
sistant secretary To President Lincoln
lone day., said he can old fellow came
in and wanted to see Mr.. Lincoln without
the loss of a moments time. He had
plan by which the war could be stopped in
"A hours. He had "a magic wand which he
had brought with him from Warsaw, Ills,
out on the banks OF the Mississippi, and
he had only to wave this magic talisman
and the Confederate armies would Instant
ly disband. On the plea OF sunlmoning tho
cabinet and the chief officials Of the gov
eminent to witness his performance tho
next day, we hustled him out, and that
night he was started back to his home.
oddly enough, u few years aftcrward,"
continued Colonel Hay, "whilo l was Sec
rotary of legation ut Paris, this same chap
showed up there. He went TO the Tuil-
cries, the residence of the emperor, and in
sisted upon having an audience with the
sovereign. The guards set him down as an
assassin ana cane very near treating him
badly. They arrested him, and his sanity
was inquired into by the court, and ho was
sent to an insane asylum in the outskirts
of Paris where / believe he died some
years later. 1t is strange how these cranks
go all over the world"
An Application Book.
They have some old fashioned methods
Ut the White House. The clerical staff
there are veteran employees Several of
thcm have held their places through half a
dozen or more administrations, and very
capable, popular, Trustworthy men they
are. But they find it difficult to drop the
methods which obtained i'm the dim past
They naturally want to go on doing things
just rs they were taught to do them in the
days of Lincoln and Grant. For instance
during the past month it has taken all the
time Of two men and IA part of the time of
third man to keep up what is called the
record book of applications for office APP
plications of this sort have poured in by
the thousands Ii Is about all one man
can do to simply open the letters.
Every such application is referred to the
department to which ii pertains. 1t leaves
the White House, probably never to return.
1t is of no earthly value at the executive
mansion, the president never wants To see
it, and Is wholly unaware of its existence
unless the secretary of the department
chooses to bring it to his attention. Yet
according TO the old method record is
made of every application. The applicants
name and address with minute details of
the office for which he applies, are all set
forth in n big book The garrct of the ex-
ecutive mansion is literally full of these
big books. What useful purpose they serve
no one can tell.
That was strange scene which we wit
messed at the Chinese legation u week or
two ago. The delegation of 5ecyups from
San Francisco were here begging the good
Offices of the Chinese minister to save them
from sentences of death or imprisonlncnt