Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-04-01
FINE CHOICE OF WORDS.

FINE CHOICE OF WORDS.
Editor-T see you have written an
article on the boarding.house."
Assistant-"Yes, sir"
Editor-"Re- hash, isn't it?".
Truth.
JUST THE TROUBLE.
"Yes, I've been hunting for him all
day. He seems very much engaged,
lately"
"He is; and both girls have found i.
out."-Puck.
AUDIENCE SUPPLIED THE EGGS.
The Villain n--"We made bad mis-.
take last night. In the barnyard
scene we forgot the eggs"
The Comedian-"Yes, but the audi
ence didn't"
ENOUGH.
She lat the masquerade ball)-"Do
you thlnk.my costume becoming?"
He with enthusiasm) -"Yes, indeed;
but you would be lovely in any dis
guise. "-Harper's Bazaar.
DOMESTIC USE.
sit is certainly wonderful how much
science can do for lis.
eyes; Mrs. Frontrow has learned
to hypnotize her baby, and she didn't
miss club meeting the whole week"
-Cleyelapd Record.
ENTANGLED.
Husband, l think Mr.. Woozle is
very much in love with our Clara"
''Has he proposed to her p
''No, but he stole her photograph
taken at three weeks-out OF the
family album. Chicago Record.
GROUND FOR THE ACCUSATION.
Papa-"I ought to have that young
fellow arrested for trying to get
money out of me on false pretences.
Mamma-"Why, he's coming here
three or four times o week pretending
he's in love with Maud. Puck.
END OF THE HOSENMOUN.
She-''1'm sure you love me no
longer. Now do not deny it. can
see the change in you. I'm no fool.
You should have married somebody
stupider"
He-"I couldn't find one. Judy.
NOT BUNCoED, ANYWAY.
Certainly" rejoined the Circassian
girl, 1--WE are sold when we are mar
ried, and it doesn't take us six months
or a year to find it out, either"
Andthe beautiful barbarian glowered
back at her sister of civilized estate
Detroit journal.
BRIGHT GROOM.
New Irish Groom Ito feed store)-
"Sind me up two bags of oats and a
bale of straw"
Voice from feed store-"All right.
Who for, sir?"
Groom-"The horse, ye blamed
fool, Punch.
PRECISE.
Counsel swell, after the witness
gave you blow, what happened?"
Prisoner-"He gave me a third
one."
Counsel-"You mean second one."
Prisoner-"No, sir; landed him
the second one. Fun.
ILLEGAL.
The Court-"What is your age,
madam"
The Plaintiff Unjust answer?"
The Court-"You must"
The plaintiff "Why, Judge,
thought people didn't have to testify
against themselves. The Green Bag.
PROOF POSITIVE.
Realty Agent exhibiting fiat, beam
ingly)--"To prove to you thnt the
walls are perfectly sound-proof have
just run over into the next fat and
told the gentleman there to play the
piano"
Mr.. Flatleigh (wearily)-"Yes; my
wife and heard you telling him to
play very softly. Puck.
HE CUT NO ICE.
81 can get you Job at cutting ice
if you want it," said the member of the
Association for extending Assistance
to the Worthy Poor.
'I'm much Obliged" said Perry
Patetic, "but seein' as how don't cut
no ice socially, guess I might jist as
we'll keep it up along other lines and
not bust me reputation. "-Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Medicinal Spring in Indiana.
The water of a spring near Rich
mond, Ind, is said to have rare medi.
cinal properties, and the black mud
found about the spring is alleged to
have caused many wonderful cures
during the past few months. Mr..
Reed, the owner of the spring, makes
no charge whatever tor the water OF
L