White Oaks eagle. (White Oaks, N.M.) 189?-190?, 1897-09-23
~ ABEL, ~
Hubby AND THE RAM.
The Story Backwoods Landlord
Can't Help Telling.

man j SuN uJ hlSl was h JOllS
red-faccd little old man, on whom care
or sorrow seemed to have never laid
finger.
Fine day. l said, getting off my
blackboard.
"P'tic'lar fine an cheerful the little
old man said. i hain't see cheerfuller
day in 40 year an better.
"Then he went down the road whist
ling. | was gazing after him yet when
some one said:
Its lcetle queer that Uncle Abol
went away without Waitin' to see
whether you ant goin' to buy sumpin'
an asst him in; but he's feeiin' over
poy,erin' glib to-day, an mebbe thought
nothin' could make him feel any bet
ter
This speaker, as saw when turned
to look, was tail and sim and lanliy,
and was whiting stick He had come
from the barn, and, as | found, was the
landlord. ! walked in.
Yes said the lanky man, Uncle
Abel is feelin' o\ erpowerin' glib to-day.
You wouldn't take him to be a lone an
lorn widderer, which the pardner of his
bosom was only laid away yiste'day,
now, would you"
81 had to admit thu. the old gentle
man was tritle clipper and cheerful
for one SO recently bcrcayed.
Yes the landlord went on, Aunt
IIuldy's left Uncle Abel at last 1t was
sort of an accident like, though.
don't think she ever would although O
doin' of it, cause Uncle Abel was four
that Aunt IIuldy had handled, an she
huI wore black bOmbaZine fer three on
EN-, an it was jest as good as ever, that
black bombaznc was, an there amt no
Kind o doubt that she had stiff idee
o wcarin' it fer Uncle Abel, an meb-
he fer somebody that had the courage to
be No. g. You see, Uncle Abel is the
harmlessest man that ever sot round,
an Aunt Iluldy's disposition was sot
| Sumpin' like a croSs-cut saw, an when
she got to movin' she was ripper. How
would some fresh tansy scrunched in a
glass and moistened with about three
fingers O. J'maky rum strike you"
81 was willing to risk it, and the lanky
but garrulous landlord scrunchcd the
tansy and moistened it per recipe.
"'Ies, sir he went on, having
scrunChcd and mCistcncd for himself
also, and taken pay for both. Aunt
IIuldy was ripper when she got to
movin', and the trouble was she was
,nnyi,,' ~ ho firnn I.,,nr-nI
Uncle Abel to roost in an apple tree on
! his clearin' all night, waitin for Aunt
| lluldy to quiet down, an I've hcerd him
! say, morc'n wunst, that it was a good
! thing he'd been kicked in the head by a
mule wunst ard got over it, or he'd be
| afeared o the Consekcnces il Aunt HUI
| dy got to movin'.
"'Aunt IIuldy she was tremendous
'ot ag'in Uncle Abel goin' fiGhin', an
Uncle Abel he'd ruther go fishin' than
| o the circus. Last week he couldn't
| lOld out no longer, and he went over
o Ben tunnels pond to troll for pick
| 'r'l. The fact is, though, that the pond
| INIT Zen Runnels, cause there ain.
no setch person as Ben Runnels, nor
! lain't ben this 20'year an better, an
| when there was Ben Runncls he didn't
own the pond. The last day there ever
was a Ben Runnels lie went fishin' oil
that pond. If the fishin' hadn't ben so
| uncommon good that day Ben mowt be
with us yit. Ben had half pint o fish
worms with him in an old tomattus
can. an half gallon o. worm o the
still in a jug This was for eXhilaratin'
purposes. Ben alluz cNhuarated arter
ketchin' a fish, but the fish bit so fast
that day that they KEEP Ben buster than
usual cNhilaratin', so that when folks
went to see what was the reason Ben
didn't git home that day, an found the
boat upset an len an tie jug iloatin
in the pond, there was less than two
little jiggcrs Of eXhilaration left in the
! Jug, but there was more than five gal.
len o water IN Ben. It wasn't drown
din that killed Ben, some folks thought
| They said il was the sudden washin' OF
all the cNhilaration outen him by Sc
much water cittin' inter him that done
II, Zen not bein' used to setch over.
/ powcrin' Disappointment. An that's
the way Ben got the title to that pond
/ an it's ben called Zen Runncls' pond
ever scncc.
"'Weil, there's where Uncle Abel went
fshin', spite o Aunt Iluldy's warnin's
an whea he got back don't pose that
Aunt lIuldy ever moved 30 rippiu' in her
life. All that Uncle Abel has ever sale
about it is that she jest swatted hin
over, an then sot on him till she peeled
what Uncle Abel says must ber
morc'n bushel o taters. Aunt IIuldl
weighed in the vicinity o POO pound
an every time Uncle Abel wiPgled she'C
scrunch down on him. An speakin' o
scrunchin', there's lot more tanzy
shell i
81 interrupted the landlord TO SAL
that | didn't care for any more, and h,
seemed so much disappointed and re
mained silent so long that began t.
think that ! wasn't going 20 hear thr
end Of his story, but by aId by h,
started in again.
"'Ies, sir, she scrunched down OF
him hard, Aunt lIulda did. Sh
scrunched down so fur arter awhil
that Uncle Abel says he got bis eye
on the shiniu' shore, an waA hopin