The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-04-21
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

He-"Her face is her fortune" She
.-"Then she is q self made woman. -
Yale Record.
Edith-"Did he whisper sweet moth
ings when he proposed?" Ethel-"Oh.
yes l-swore he'd be ever true, and all
that. Puck.
Young Solicitor r-"Make yourself
easy, my dear sir; the successful man
Agement of your case shall be the task
Of my life. "-Tit-Bi
"What is pronunciation Uncle
Jim?" "It is something you hunt up
in dictionary one day and forget the
next. Chicago Record.
(which was the most serious
engagement Captain Slasher was ever
inP" Jack-"rhe one that led to his
marriage, 1 presume. "-Larks.
"Now, they speak of her as an up.
to-date girl. What do you understand
by thatP" "My boy, a girl that is up
to-date is up to anything. Puck.
Mrs. Gray-"Do you like steam
heatP" Mrs. "Really, don't
know. You zee, we only have steam
cold in our fiat. boston Transcript.
"Spring is here" the poet said,
Aud rs the storm door hitchei IFS belt,
And slammed him down ten flights OF stairs,
The force of his remark he felt!
Cincinnati Tribune.
A sportive youth will feel compli-
mented il you call him "a gay young
dog" but not if you refer to him as
"afresh young puppy. ."-Philadelphia
Record.
"There goes Jack with
his wealthy bride, girls" Theodosia
Yes; aren't men iicklep To think
that only last summer he was engaged
to us !"-Truth.
First Artist (patronizingly)-"Yan
Dixie is a good fellow, but he never
will be finished painter" Second
Artist -''No; all of his figures are en-
tirely too Ife-like. Judge.
There are over sixty millions OF peo.
pie in this country, and at least fifty
millions of them have been cured OF
something at one time or another
West Union Qowa) Gaz cite.
Cumso-"Why don't Mr.. Gilgal and
Miss Perkasie get married. Cawker
-"Shyness on both Sides" "How do
you make that out? ?" "She is shy
little thing by nature and he is shy of
cash."
'Do you see anything coming our
way?" asked the morning star OF a
companion. "Not yet" was the re-
ply; "but / see servant below there
who is about to light her kitchen fire
with kerosene.
"That Willie Feathers is the most
impudent man ever met. "Really2"
"He is. 1 told him had never been
kissed by man in all my life, and he
said Il can we'll believe you. Gin
cinnati Enquirer.
Tommy-"Paw, what is adding in
suit to injury2" MIR. Figg-"Well, 1
once mad a dentist at work on my teeth
for half day, and when he got
through he said he hoped had q
pleasant time."-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
She--"You are always talking about
the fashions. Now, honestly, do you
think you would know the latest fash
ion in hats If you were to enter mil-
liners?" He-"Certainly." She
"How| He (ruefully)-"By looking
at the prices. Comic Cuts.
The theosophist gazed at the op.
posite wall with far away smile. "We
become what we eat, she murmured.
"That is great truth" "Great Je.
hosophat I" exclaimed voice in the
corner; "what kind OF menagerie do
I become when eat hash?'-Wash-
ington Capital.
Chumpley-"That hypnotist is a
fraud. He couldn't control my mind
at all last night" Pokley-"Of
course, he had some excuse" Ohump-
ley-"Yes, be said there was no ma.
terial to work on. You ought to have
heard the audience give him the
lnu0b n-Datroit Free Press