Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1897-05-20

A well brOught-up BOY learns at II
u very early age that practical
Il Ajokes are dangerous things.
Sometimes he learns it ut his mothers
knee. sometimes on his fatherS-face
down. otherwise he receives physical
demonstration from bigger boy.
From which it would appear that the
Youngsters gazetted TO the lrrepressi-
bles were not we'll brought up. At all
events. they had the reputation of be-
ing the most rowdy crew in the army
list. Now. in India. reputation is only
gained by being deserved. And it was
in a hill-station that the subalterns OF
the IrrepreSSibles reached the loftiest
pinnacle of their folly. The affair was
hushed up afterward. for the honor of
the regiment, as such things should be.
The Irrepressibles were unlucky in
their quarters that year. They were
fixed on the plains at n time when there
was nothing to do. no game, no society.
no anything. In a case like that they
were thrown back on themselves. and
the result was unfortunate. Mems tenn
pers began to give way under the strain
and. from the commanding officer
down to the smallest boy capable of
beating n drum. there was not one who
did not curse the hour he was born at
least seven times Il day.
The trouble came. 1t all arose out of
the Junior Subaltern going out fishing
one day. or out of the fact that he
caught nothing. Coming back. how
ever. he must needs run across cobra,
which. with his usual foolhardiness.
he duly forked and transferred alive
and wriggling into his creel. Thence.
on arrival ut quarters. ii was removed
to Il perforated box and tendcrly fed.
Two of the subalterns began To de-
velop a most astonishing degree of ha-
tired the one for the other. They were
two men sufficiently alike in character
and capabilities to be either the tirnsest
of friends or the bittereSt of enemies.
AS II matter of choice they were the
latter. Jealousy was at the bottom of
the trouble. no doubt. In the natural
order of things, this little feeling didn't
make life any the plensanter for the
rest. At first ii was treated as Il wei
come diversion. and for time the 9th
er youngsters used to take an artistic
pleasure in tanning the quarrel, fore
most beiyg the Junior Subaltern.
What was originally variation of
the monotony of life. however. soon
came to be a nuisance, and the lrrepreS-
sibles began to feel very sick. Then
they got to wishing that one or both Of
the men would die. This is not nice
sentiment to entertain toward any
man, especially if he is a brother-of-
ficer. But, most of all. each of the men
wished that the other would go out. and
this was even worse.
At last matters came to Il head. The
two subalterns had regular row one
night after mess. They would have
come to blows If it hadn't been for the
interference of the older men. There
were six men present. all suhalterns
except one. and 1t would have been bet
ter if they had let the two fight it out
then and there. Probably the difficulty
might have been settled finally. But
peace was patched up for about three
days. and then they broke out worse
than ever. and said things that half
century ago would have led to pistols
next morning. In the meantime, the
Junior Subaltern and four other imps
of mischief had matured plan by
which they hoped to fix up the matter
once for all. And in this plan. natural
ly enough the snake took some part.
1t was a grim enough practical joke at
the best. and they ought to have pos
sessed more sense between the five of
them than to think of such thing
The idea was nothing more or less
than to propose to the two men to
spend a night together, and with the
cobra, in disused room in quarters
They were to be locked in and left to
settle the matter among themselves
during the night, and in the morning
the rest Of the party would release the
survivors. II any. or course there was
no thought, even for moment, Of let
ting loose the corba in that way, but,
as the Junior Subaltern said: 1T won't
do them any harm to think it out, and
perhaps with reflection will come an
increase Of wisdom"
While the two men were still in the
heat of anger. the Junior Subaltern pro-
pounded to them his idea of settling
their difficulty by means of the snake.
He and his cOnfederates looked mar
rOwly at the men, and fancied they
blanched slightly at the prospect. This
must have been Imagination, however.
for, as with one breath. they both
agreed, and even seemed anxious to
have the matter settled. They must
have been very mad.
The affair being thus decided, dis
used room was chosen as the scene Of
the ordeal. and was hastily cleared Of
what furniture was in 1t. This being
done, the two men. who had not
changed color during the scene. were
stationed at opposite corners Of the
room. propped up in sitting positions.
with clear space between them of
something like fifteen feet.
All preliminaries having been ar
ranged. the boy brought in the fatal
box and deposited it in the center Of the
room, I'm such manner that the lid
should open sideways. Here again his
ingenuity came into play. 1t was OBJ
vious that the box must be opened
when all except the principals were
outside the door. Luckily. the box had
a sliding lid. and the Junior Subaltern
was able to arrange 1t so that. by at
a ninna nf ct