Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-07-03
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gets on her wheel to hang out the wash. |
<ng."-Detroit Free Press.
you are destined to marry riches"
the seeress said. but" But whatT
Death will claim you two years bc-
fore the evcnt."-rown Topics.
Shockitt-Does learning the bicycle
seduire any particular application?
Sprockitt-No: none III particular. Ar.
MICA is about as good as anything
Puck.
Willie-I told her my love was 20
great that my brain was on fire.
Char,ie-what did she say to that?
willie-Told me had better blow II
out.-Yale Record.
A prlmtevc)al joke: Eva-Did you
eat that apple. Adam? Adam--lm sor.
ry To say that did. Evc-And I was
going to make pie with 1t! Adam
Then I'm glad ate II.
Miss Thirtysmith (severely)-A man
should never call OH a girl after drink.
Ing. Jack Swift (checrfully)-That's q
fact. Many man has become engaged
In just that way!-Puck.
Freshly Professor. Is II over posi-.
BILE to take the greater from the less?
Prof. Pot,crby There Is a pretty close
approach to IL when the concet Is taken
out OF freshman. indianapolis Jour.
nal.
She-l have been shut up In boarding
school 50 long that feel very awk.
ward anu ,iinid In company. do not
know what TO do with my hands lie
h..t. sl,.,,,, o.,
eler.
Fuddy-So Widow Gray was Mt the
social last evening. 1t beats all. What
is she aftcr--a husbandg Duddy--On
the contrary. think she Is after man
who Is not husband.-Boston Trans.
cript.
He-1f you couldn't DC yourself, who
would you rather be? Slic-The man
who marks down goods In the dry goods
store. What a lovely life he must lead,
always having first choicc!-Clevciand
Leader.
Qucr.cus-"Ilow did he come to win
that GIRL who was always so Indifferent
10 htmI Cynicus--lIc told her he had
Joined bachelors club. and that made
her determined to have him.--Ncw
York journal.
I'm going to he cortortionist when
grow up" said little johnny. proud.
~: I'm In training now, no want you
TO tell me what Is the best thing for me
to eat" Green apples, my boy"
chuck'ed the old man.-Demorcst' d
Magazine.
The Parson-Your ncighbor looks
like very persistent man. He doesn',
look as II he would give up anything
The Deacon-Well, I've been passin
the plate for hard Oh ten years. and |
never see him give up anything yet
Yonkers Statesman.
This new SOAP" said the barber
lis very nice. 1t Is made largely OF
cream. with just dash Of alcohol ir
it." well. remember I'm temper
ancc man." rctortcd Dobbers. "an4
don't put any more Of It In my moutl
than you can hclp."-IIarlcm Life.
We'll. you've been married for nbou
six months now. haven't you? do 20,
think ~ much Of your wife as ever?
''aiorc than ever. my boy. moro thai
ever. She has not once suggested tina
It would he good Idea for her to carr!
the kctbook."-Clcvcland Leader.
~ don't understand why you dislik
Herbert 49," said Mabel to her father
~ don't think he has any ideas o
finance" II am sure you wrong hin
lie Is devoted to It. He stopped RICH
In the middle Of his proposal to as
how your business was getting along.
Washington Star.
Dismal Davis-Say. boss. does yer bt
iicvc In de sayin' dat money talks
Uncle Reubcn-Ycs: what Of It? ID,
NAL Davis--Ycr see. gets no lonesOm
walkln' around wild mescif dat II yC
could give mo dime fer company, IT.
make me feel better.-New York TT
bune.
Something whixzed by-a miuglcnel
of steel sp0lses and red bl00mcr
"What Ii that thereY' asked INC
Hiram. withdrawing his gaze from Il
high building TO look after the visiO
"That Il the new woman" nnswert
his nephew. 'The new wOmany LOol
Ike the old boy."-IndianapOlis Jou
nal.
Il do think dog has good deal
intelligence" said the man with u
spaniel but l am not as Dad
Browne. He actually had the gall
tell me that he was thinking OF stud
ing German so that he could talk 10 i
wife without the dog underestimate
every word he said."-Typographic
Journal.
I'm glad To hear that Tom and Ali
have settled their difference. A me
lovers quarrel, suppose! I'VE
hardly as trivial as that; but she fin
Is admitted the possibility that In I
matter Of mems wheels the unluest!c
"a superiority Of the make she rid
might be less emphatic than In I
drop-frame machines. "-Detroit New
~ once owned some real estate" 50
the man whose manner showed that
Is easily imposed upon; ut was a SIN
house ana q large lot" did you ha
good tcnautsf" "Weil-they We're n
people In some ways" Did they p
promptlyY" mo, they never liked
he bothered about money. But til
used to tell me TO come around a
pick all the flowers wanted."-Wal
S,ap