The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-05-25
THE OLD HUMORISTS.
MARK TWAIN'S CELEBRATED
JUMPING FROG OF GALA
VRRAS COUNTY.


THERE was a fellow here once by the
H. name of Jim Smiley, in the winter
Of 1649-or may be it was in the spring
Of 1861 don't recollect exactly, some
how, though what makes me think it
was M OF the other is because I re-
member the big fume wasn't finished
when he first came to the camp; but
anyway, he was the %curiosest man
about, always bettin on anything that
turned up, you ever see, if he could get
anybody to bet on the other side, and
If he couldn't he'd change sides. Any
way, what suited the other man would
suit him-anyway, just SOS he got a
bet, he was satisfied. But still he was
lucky -uncommon lucky. He most
always come out winner. He was al
ways ready and layin for a chance.
There couldn't be no solit'ry thing men
toned but that feller'd offar to bet on
it and take any side you please, asI
was just tellln you. Ii there was a
horse race, you'd fnd him flush or
you'd find him busted at the end OF it;
if there was a dog fight, he'd bet on it;
If there was a cat fight, he'd bet on it.
Why, if there were two birds settin on
a fence, he'd bet you which one would
fly first, or if there was a camp meetin
he would be there regular, to bet on Par
son Walker, which he judged to be the
best exhorter about here, and SO he
was, too, and a good man. If he even
seen a straddle bug start to go any
where's he would bet you how long it
would take him to get wherever he was
goin to, and if you took him up he
would foller that straddle bug to Mex
leo but what he would find out where he
was bound for and how long he was on
the road. Lots of the boys here has seen
that Smiley and eau tell you about him.
Why, it lever made no difference to
him-he would bet on anything-the
dangdest Teller. Parson Walkers wife
laid very sick once for q good while,
and it seemed as If they warn't goin to
save her, but one mornin he come in,
and Smiley asked how she was, and he
said she was considerable better thank
the Lord for his inf'nit mercy-and
comm on so smart that, with the bless
in of Providence, she'd get well yet,
and Smiley, before he thought, says,
"WeI I'll risk g. so that she don't,
anyway"
This yer Smiley had g mare. The
boys called her the 10 minute nag, but
that was only in fun, you know, be-
cause, Of course, she was faster than
that, and he used to win money on that
horse, for all she was 30 slow and always
had the asthma or the distemper or the
consumption or somethin Of that kind.
They used to give her 200 to 800 yards
start and then pass her under way, but
always at the fsg end of the race she'd
get excited and d~esperatelike and come
cavortin and straddlin up and scat
terin her legs around timber, some
times in the air end sometimes out to
one side amongst the fences, and kick
in up N Or 9 dust and raisin mo re
racket with her coughin and sneezin
and BLOWN her nose, and always fetch
up at the stand just about q neck ahead,
as near as you could cipher it down.
Aud he had a little small bull pup
that to look at him you'd think he
want worth a cent but to set around
and look onery and lay for a chance to
steal somethin. But as soon as money
was upon him he was a different dog.
His underj2W'd begin to stick out like
the fo'castle Of a steamboat, and his
teeth would uncover and shine savage
like the furnaces. And a dog might
tackle him and bullreg him and bite
him and throw him over his shoulder
two or three times, and Andrew Jack
son, which Yves the name of the pup
Andrew Jackson would let on
but what he was satisfied and hadn't
expected nothin else, and the bets bein
doubled and doubled on the other side
all the time till all the money was up,
and then all of q sudden he would
grab that other dog jest by the jint of
his hind leg and freez9 to it-not chaW,
you understand, but only jest grip and
hang on till they throWed up the sponge,
if il was a year. Smiley always come
out winner on that pup till he harnessed
a dog once that didn't have no hind
legs, because they'd been sawed off by
a circular saw, and when the thing had
gone along far enough and the money
was all up and he come to make a
snatch for his pet holt he saw in a min.