davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

A hot summer is predicted. So was
a prosperous one.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

Cincinnati Enquirer: ''Abner," said the
good wife, Il wish you would stop at the
store and git me. rubber ring for the
baby to cut his teeth on"
s posen you give him that there gold
brick in the cupboard?" said the farmer,
with a grim smile. at worked all right
with me-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

Richmond Dispatch: Mrs Boardem-
How do you find the chicken soup, Mr..
Boarder.
Mr. Boarder-I have no difficulty in
finding the soup madam, but l am in
clined to think that the chicken will be
able to prove an alibi.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03
WIT AND HUMoR.

stroked his pate
Il was a football player once" said
Re. I raised a lovely shock of hair.
Just for novelty's sake, you know.
The baldheaded man stroked his pate
again
''a,--e novelty seems to have worn off,"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

Philadelphia North American: 81 I'M
derstand you have joined the literary
brotherhood
Yes" replied I.ovelace II am now
writing for living" And he dashed off
another begging letter to his father.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

Philadelphia Record; Lowe Cummedy-
! got of a good joke last night but the
audience was too dumb 10 see it.
Wright Wroasts (the critic -So2 There
anoteher good thing you might get off If
you want to make a hit with the public
Whats that?"
1.-The stage.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

Cincinnati Enquirer: Mr.. Cleveland
should have kept quiet and allowed his
case. If possible. to blow over
Boston Herald: Queer happenings in
the United States army nowadays when
a court-martial is called upon to try a
captain for speaking slanderously of the
VIE of a lieutenant and to listen to all
the tittle-tattle that occurred between the
women in the case. And yet. that is
what is now going on down at Atlanta in
the case of Captain Romeyn. Oh, for an
hour OF Sir Lucius O'Trigger.
Philadelphia Times: Washington would
seem the most fitting place for the tomb
of "a national hero. but not even that
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

Cleveland Leader; Isn't it unfortunate
about Mrs. Hummer"
Why, what's happened to her?'
"Oh, she's applied for divorce. Her
husband turned out dreadfuily.
You don't tell mel What did he do?'
why, he was elected an alderman
Mercy on us. And he used to be such
nice man. too"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

New York Press: Paderewski smiled
as he struck the closing chord of a bril-
liant scherzo by Handel. "Oh, dear, no,
he said. This speed Is simply nothing!
You ought to see me when I'm out on
my bike and run into a tree. Sail over
the Handel bars Mm-m-mi"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

New York World: Mrs. Benham-I am
soirg to write to mother tonight and l
am Just going TO tell her all l know. -,
Benhan2That will be too bad; she Will
be expecting a good long letter.
Pittsburg Chroniele-Telegraph Mr..
Monterey-Which are worse sins of omis-
sion or sins of commission?
Mr.. Espianade Ia creditor of Mr.. Mont
erey's)-Sins of owe mission or course
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-03

Judge: Must you go?' asked Mrs.
hat when the curtain descended.
Yes, dear. The orchestra has begun to
pla.r Annie Rooney.
''Nyhat of THAR"
at is necessary to go out for change
OF air.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
FIXING HIS FACE.
Jerry Smiths Countennnce Did Not
Suit Joseph Rice.

Several months ago Uncle Jerry
Smith carried commission and star
as deputy constable in Justice Walls
court he became involved in an alterca-
ton with another negro, at the close
of which Smiths face locked like high
school blackboard upon which an alge-
bra problem had been worked in red
chalk His assailant, Joe Rice, who was
riveter in a boiler foundry, had
pounded Smiths nose in with a brick,
neatly battering it down as though he
were afraid it would be pulled out from
the other side. .
Rice then left town and did not re-
turn until the other morning. In the
meantime Smiths commission had eX-
PRED, and, shorn of his insignia of Of
flee, he was again plain Jerry smith
even palmer, if anything, than formerly,
owing to the leveling effect of the brick.
Rice had not been in town an hour be-
fore he saw Smith upon the street,
though he was himself unseen. Rice
studied him critically.
Nope, datll nevah do he remarked
musingly. "Dat'll neah do. 4 face like
dat can't stay in de same town wild me.
tot it was fattenin' his nose needed,
but / see now it wasn't; it mus be
squuz out. Wait till I git aftah it wild
de nippahs."
So Rice spread the report about Hicks
Hollow that he would that night, under
cover of darkness, make another at
tempt to improve Smiths face. The
threat reached Smith, who forthwith
hunted up Rice and placed him under
arrest, arraigned him before Justice
Walls, swore out his complaint Of as
sault with intent to kill and finally led
him trium phantly to Jail.
1t was three hours afterward that
Rice learned through a friend that
Smith had had no authority to arrest
him.-kansas City Times.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
GROWING OLD.
1t Always Comes rs Surprise to
People.

81 think there is something radically
wrong with me, DOCTOR" said middle
aged woman to her physician, and she
began to describe her symptoms. also,
| madam" announced the man of science,
81 fear yours is complaint from which
many of us suffer, and which is, UNI
fortunately, incurable. 1t is a case of
Ammo Domini-a disease which is al
ways epidemic"
Age comes to all of us as a surprise.
| 1t seems odd when our feelings are as
| young as ever that our bodies are no
longer as supple; that we can no longer
sit down on the rug in our old favorite
attitude before the fire; that in going
| upstairs we must take it slowly; that
without feeling appreciably different
in any way, or recognizing any change,
the elasticity and spring has gone out
of our bodies. We say of our contem-
poraries: "So-and-So has grown much
older" and of another: "IIow she has
changed" But in ourselves we see no
such alteration. We fail to recognize
| the ravages of time. Our muscles are
somewhat sitter than of yore, and our
figures are stouter, perhaps, but we feel
no particular difference. A slight case
of Ammo Domini, undoubtedly, but not
nearly as pronounced as with others of
our age.
1t is always funny to hesr unmarried
sisters of ripe middle age talk of each
other; the lapse of time means nothing
to them in their relations one to an
other; they are still girls" together,
and outsiders cannot fail to be amused
at their Inconsistencies of change.
II wish Della would marry" said a
sister of 20 in speaking of the youngest
of the trio--a troublesome maiden of
GO. 81 am sure she would be much hap
pier"
This said in all simplicity by the gen
tie and dignifled lady, with no sense Of
incongruity or of the way it might
strike her auditor.-N. Y. Tribune.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
FORTS ARE THEIR FORTE.
Queer Notifications of the Spaniards
in the Island of Cuba.


The forte of the Spaniard is fort build
ing. Cuba is the scene of his greatest
and most varied endeavor in that art
of war. From the hour that the arriv-
ing steamer passes under the frowning
front of Moro castle at the mouth of the
Havana harbor until departure from the
island one is never out of sight of some
kind of fertilization. The Spanish
army has not done much fighting in
this war, because, perhaps, it has not
been possible to bring the insurgents
to battle, but these little fellows from
the farms among the Pyrenees have for
tilted with amazing industry.
From Pinar del Rio to Santiago de
Cuba the defenses are conspicuous
everywhere. Something to turn bull
let is the end in view. With this idea
the Spaniards have given ingenuity of
construction full sway. When the war
is over not the least Of Cuba's attrac-
tons for the visitor will be the forts.
They number not hundreds, but thou
sands. There is fort of some kind in
Cuba for every ten insurgents under
arms. And the building still goes on.
Not many days ago a party of Havana
people went out to the suburbs of the
city to witness the dedication of new
fort, as a similar party might have gone
from an American city to celebrate the
formal installation of some new in
ifustry. The new fort was finished in
style BETTING its proximity to the
capital of the island. 1t was given a
name. The ceremonies of the formal
opening of the fort for business were
duly reported In the papers.
The forces of the revolution number
$4,000 by the claims of the leaders, and
$4,000 by the admissions of the Spanish
government. The supply of ammuni-
lion is so scanty that the general in.
struction to the soldiers Isl Not a sin.
gle cartridge may be wasted" Against
such an enemy, the Spaniards have
dotted the island with these thousands
of forts. Much of this fortifying is
voluntary work. The Spanish soldier
seems to have an Unborn liking for it.
He will fight in the open if he must.
There is no doubt of the Spaniard's
valor. But having hunted In vain for
the enemy, and being given the duty of
defending some particular place against
the hidden foe, the Spanish soldier.
without being told, proceeds to make
himself as safe from possible harm as
convenient material viii permit. He is
a natural fortifer.-St. Louis Globe.
Democrat.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29

The following has been recommend
cd as producing a cement which viii!
fastou glass or porcelain, etc, together
firmly, and viii not be affected by
strong acids: Mix togethertwo parts Of
powdered asbestos. one part of barium
sulphate and two parts Of sodium sill
cate of S. q. $50. 4 still firmer glue can
be made which is particularly valuable,
since il is not attacked by hot acids, by
mixing together two parts of sodium
silicate. one part of the finest sand. and
one part Of finely pulyerized asbestos.
II potassium silicate is used instead OF
the sodium salt the glue win harden
Immediately, but otherwise it will re-
quirc about an hour to set.-N. Y. Led
vrr
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
COUNTRY SUMMER HOUSES.
Vncir Number Is Increasing
livery Important City.

There Is an increasing tendency al the
present time for city residents TO es-
tablish country homes for the summer
The freedom experienced is by most
people never forgotten, and thefe 10
fixed desire to enjoy country lie our
ing the summer and early autumn AS
soon as the children are out OF scilooi
for tbe summer vacation there is an an
anal procession toward the green fields
md the shady woods, the hills OF pros
meet and the streams and lakes OF pure
water That this feature of our social
life will be permanent there can be no
loubt, for the physical advantages Oh
three or four months of country NC
each year cannot well be overestlmateu'
and the pleasures are such as cannot DC
secured in city residence.
Although the presence OF the aouie
male persons of the family is required
In the city during business hours yet
by means of electricity and steam con-
siderable distance may be traversed ana
they are able to enjoy few hours on
pure country air in the evening ana an
hour or two in the morning as special
preparation for their city work. But
| the distances from business centefs
must not be too great, hence the latter
are established in the city suburbs,
usually within radius of 20 to 30 miles
The comfort of the family demands
poultry and eggs, and milk and the
produce of the good garden, and horse
or two must be kept, therefore one man
at least, will be required on the place,
Hence, in view of the expense, the sug-
gestion occurs to many persons that 1t
may be met by the profits that accrue
from commercial fruit growing or the
raising of poultry, or the conduct OF
small or medium-sized dairy. Such eX-
pectations or dreams may be pleasant
as long as they remain as dreams, but
putting such ideas into practice dissi-
pates ruthlessly the fairy-lille visions
Let no one think to recoup his purse by
such ventures. In The nature of the
case they must be failures. The un'
skilled fruit grower or poultryman oil
| Utility HAL, hi' b't''i'S"'
| through an agent, though the latter
may be practical man, cannot com
pete with trained workers whose main
tenanee depend on their labor. Tht
rational course for proprietors of coun
try residences to take, and the one tha
will give the greatest amount of enjoy
ment with the minimum of regrets, II
to develope the horticultural capaci
ties of their possessions. In the frs
place the family have the benefits ant
comforts of fruit and vegetable gar
den, and then the rest of the ground
can be devoted to lawn and trees ant
. towering shrubs and Towering plant
Of all kinds. To what extent the beau
tifylng Of the grounds shall be carrie,
will depend upon the taste and mean
of the proprietor. 1t may be little o
much. according to these circumstances
, but it will always be productive of pleas
ure and satisfaction. The summer cour
try residences of city jewellers will We
form distinct and beautiful feature o
rural life, and the social interminglin
of city and country jewellers will be t
both influential for good.-Vick's Maga
zine.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
Hands of!

In connection with the recent death
of Blondin, the greatest of funambu.
lists, it is recalled that President Lin
coin once made use Of him for one OF
his Enthusiastically apt illustrations.
Toa fault-finding delegation that visited
him, Mr.. Lincoln said: Gentlemen,
suppose all the property yoa were worth
was in gold, and you had to put il into
the hands OF Blondin to carry across
Niagara falls on a rope; would you shake
the cable, OF keep shouting out to him:
'Bloudin. stand up little straightcr!
Rlondlu. stoop little more; go a little
faster; lean more to the southF No,
you would hold your breath, as well as
your tongue, and keep your hands off
until he was safe ovcr."-Youth's Com
pauion.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
TIE wAsTEFUL HOUSEWIFE.
Ieakages In Household Management
That Mean Loss OF Money.


The old adage that "a woman can
throw out of the window win ssa'
spoon more than man can hrlng III Oh
81 shovel contains more truth than
noetry. A large income can be wasted
with surprising celebrity by the cohtih'
nance of little leaks that seem too IN
SIGNIFICANT to be noticed individually
Many a woman is ignorantly partlei-
nant in rearing and protecting these ut
! lie foxes that spoil the household vine,
A martial list of some of these little
wastes is:
Wearing rubbers over new Shoes,
thereby making the leather dry ana
bard and easily cracked.
| Pieces of lace and ribbons thrown
away. .n
Making the sewing woman wait IN the
house idle or doing fancy work because
YOU have neglected to get materials be,
fore her arrival.
Buying articles because they are
| cheap, and will come in some time.
Allowing whalebones to wear through
the waist, thereby running an elegant
| gown.
Wearing the same clothing each
week as it comes from the wash.
! Leaving a silk umbrella in case
thereby causing it to split in the folds
Turning skirts wrong side out when
hanging them up.
Placing brushes with the bristies
side up.
Failing to sew glove buttons on be
| fore wearing, or mending them before
cleaning
Sweeping the house in the usua
morning dress with head uncovered.
Pieces of cake and bread allowed tC
dry and mold, then thrown away.
Failing to dry a box of soap for sew
! eral days before using it.
! Dried fruits left uncovered and con
seouently allowed to become wormy.
Dish towels used for holders.
| Sheets used for ironing tables.
Napkins used for dish towels.
| Towels used for wash rags.
The face of flatirons used to cracl
nuts on.
| Cold potatoes allowed to sour.
Sour milk thrown away.
The kerosene can left open to evap
crate.
Cold fish thrown away.
Cheese permitted to mold.
Lemons left to dry
! Fat put in earthen dishes.
The mustard cruise remaining open t,
dry.
Canned goods left exposed in cans.
Bread pan left with dough sticking 4
| it.
Leftover vegetables thrown away.
Rice and sugar wasted in the hand
ling.
Too much starch made and throw
out.
Pals and washtubs left dry to fall t
pieces.
Silver spoons and forks used in TIL
kitchen.
Tin dishes improperly dried whe
washed.
Mops and brooms not hung up.
Tea and coffee pots neglected.
Corks left out of vinegar and me
lasses jugs.
Preserves opened, forgotten and lei
to sour.
Soap left in dish pans to dissolve an
waste.
Orange peel thrown away (save thel
for liindling.)
Bits of meat thrown away.
Carpet brooms used to scrub with.
Throwing away tea leaves (save thei
for sweeping dark carpets; coarse tt
BILE salt should be used for light ca,
pets st. Louis Republic
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
Reason for II.

"Why is the age at which young PEG.
pie may marry specified by law in all
civilized countries?" she asked, dream.
lily. The old gentleman looked at her
over the top of his newspaper and then
looked al his wife. Civilized countries"
he said at last, "have always been Cd.
posed TO initiating the young into the
mysteries OF anything that sayors OF
gambling, and you know how mar.
riagc has been designated?" If she
didn't her mother stood ready to tell
her and TO give her the further assur.
ance that not one girl in a hundred ever
drew n prize Chicago Post.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
Food That Makes You blind.

Few people know that some foods are
very injurious to the eyesight, and, in
deed, may cause total blindness. Med
cal men agree that defects of vision are
often attributable to this cause, and
warn their patients against eating GER
tain foods. Stale sausages, sour cream
and tainted rabbit pie are injurious to
the eyesight. In one instance case
was brought under the notice of an eye
specialist in which the eyes of a whole
family were affected by eating rabbit
pie. In each instance the patient had
become afflicted with a peculiar defect
Of vision that is technically known as
failure of accommodation" The eat
ing of chocolate was recently proved TO
be the cause in case of weakening of
the sight known as amblopia. Blindness
resulting from eating tainted fish has
been found almost impossible to cure.
and quinine is also responsible for some
persons half-blind condition. This drug
affects the optic nerve in a manner that
sometimes ends in Golden
Days.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29

The major and uperintendent Nc
Adoo, of the Starlight Stage company,
rode side by side in the moonlight,
while two officers and a detective Hoped
close behind.
Ills reports" said Superintendent
McAdoo, "haye not been satisfactory for
some time, but | thought it was the re-
suit of incapaeity or carelessncss rather
than dishonesty, and that is the reason
| wrote and asked you to keep an eye
ON the young man and find out what
kind of hours and company he was
keeping. To think that he should fool
lis all in that way But johnson back
here seems to have pretty good eyi-
denee that our Saints Rest agent is
about as clever villain as ever com
mitted a bank robbery in New York
or forgery in Boston"
81 suspected him." returned the ma
Tor, "iust as soon as he refused to snap
up some of those bargains in the So
foot lots on Hermosa boulevard, which
we are going to build, for | know he
was bright enough to know what good
thing they are at the figures am ask
ing. felt certain he was getting ready
to skip out"
A chorus of y ellis interrupted the ma
ior. For. moment they slackened
pace and listened. They were at the
outskirts of the camp, and as they re-
allied that the noises that the evening
breeze brought 10 them were not
sounds of joyous revelry, with one i'm
pulse they started forward. Down the
street they galloped and drew up clat-
tering before the dance hall, from
which issued all that acknowledging
clamor.
The participants were almost eX'
hausted, and the officers, armed and eX-
perienced in the handling of men, with
the vigorous aid of the major and the
superintendent, succeeded in restoring
order But, though they searched long
and carefully and inquired of all who
were in a condition to answer, no trace
could be found of the stageagent, Joe
McLeary. The next morning brought
no better success. Indeed, it is diff
cult matter to get information out OF
a man who has had his head bandaged
in a towel or carries newly famed arm
in a sling, or who is perchance, ike
Henderson or Bowloe, confined to his
bed with aches and sprains and bruises
So sore a subject was the Thanksgiving
ball that strangers for months after
ward found it improbable to intro.
duce it as q topic of discussion.
The next day at noon old man Sum.
mers dismounted from his burro in
front of the Saints Retreat and amhled
inside lie smiled grimly as he listened
to Long Jake's history of the Thanks
giving ball. Then he laid down his pipe
and took off his old felt hat. The
crowd gathered around him, for they
knew he had some important news.
II was comm down the Elk Flat
trail when | met these parties last
night. l can't say what they were
talkin' about, but this l obsarvod: The
man had On a billed shirt an a white
collar which that stage agent didn't
hev when ] saw him last, an the woman
was Miss higgins, and the nevis
walked close together Francisco
Argonaut.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
Fnrm TeIenhnncs.

Telephones are in common use on
Swedish farms, and even in Finland. A
traveller calls at a farmhouse. and if his
language is not understood he rings up
an Interpreter. In Augusta county, Va.
complete system of cheap telephones
has been introduced, reaching to farm
&c well rs villsges.-Chieago Tribune.
The Van Buren press. [volume] (Van Buren, Ark.) 1859-1914, 1897-05-29
nhrhnrh snrrr

Cut the rhubarb into half inch pieces,
leaving the skin on. Put in q stew pan
and cover thickly with graduated
sugar DO not add any water. the Juice
from the rhuba~b viii soon gov. maxi
.ug iiz own l.qL.I This Is delicious
D. Y. L.dr.r