The people's journal. (Pickens, S.C.) 1891-1903, 1897-11-25
BILL ARP ON THE ROAD.
hough Experience on n Circus Train
protecting n Sweet and Tender
Young Woman from Wild Beasts,
but Twas All u Dream.

| ou' AW&tS All IL Dream.
Hard, hard, indeed, is the contest
Tor freedom and the struggle for liber
ty.' There isno rest for the wicked. ,
This world is all a tleeting show and
Jordan Is u hard road to travel, | be.
l1eve There are other CALCULATIONS
might utter, for OF late there has been
trouble on the old mans mind. You
SEQ, l was invited over here to talk to
these people Ia a humorous and philo.
sophie way and my wife said as the
larder was getting low and the girls
needed some moro winter clothes, and
the tax man was bobbing around and
the grandchildren would be expecting
something for Christmas, she thought
had better 90. So she packed my
valise with my best clothes AMI forti-
fled mo with little drug store OF
camphorated oil and flannel and liver
medicine and paregoric and cough
drops and quinine and headache
powders, and 30 forth and 80 on. We
kissed good-by all round and departed
feeling like | was being driven Off from
home by sad necessity. l took the Sea-
board Airline ut Atlanta bound for
Charlotte, via Monroe, but our engine
| broke down about dark and this de-
layed Us three long, dreary hours, and
| after midnight and the Charlotte train
had gone. There were three nice
ladies aboard and several gentlemen,
who were greatly disappointed, but
| the conductor was kind and sympathe-
tic and said there was q circus train
near by that was going to Charlotte
| right away and If We didn't mind rid
ing thirty miles In q cab, he would get
us the privilege. Tue ladies said yes,
and we did too, and climbed in. 1t
| was as dark as Erebus. We felt our
| way to find seats but there was nothing
| but some long tool boxes whose lids
were hard and cold. There was no fire
and the wind blew through Il broken
glass on the back OF my head. The
ladies chatted away merrily, for they
we're going home, but | wasn't and l
couldn't chat to save my life, for l was
very tired and thought of that good,
soft bed at home. BY and by the con-
ductor came in with lantern and took
| up our tickets and left us in the dark
| again. About that time the animals
| got restless and the lion gave an un-
! earthly howl. You sec this was O.
| menagcric train.
"'rhe animals went in two by two,
The elephant and the Kangaroo"
and every time the cars careened about
Or swung round a curve we could hear
some dcvilish noise ahead Of us. "Oh
morcy," said the youngest gill, "sup-
the sweetest and tcndercsS first,". saio
|, "liops always do" | pulled my
cloak up over the back Of ny head ana
ruminated. For two long hours we
logged along, for the train was running
SLOW to suit the wild beasts and we
were or no COnS' quencc. l. WAS near
3 O'clock when We got to the suburbs OF
Charlotte and stopped. Nobody WAS
| looking for us-nobody rushed forward
to meet us, no porter nor hackman-
no omnibus or street cars, not even a
wagon Or an OK cart or Il darky. The
moon had hid herself to keep from sec
ing our misery, but we seiZ d our grips
and wraps and satchcis aud made a
march for the electric lights. My
companions soon separated from me
and I marched in single file with my
big valise full of clothes and the drug
store, and struggled for three quarters
Of q mile up the long and hard side
walk. | am not used to arc lig hts, and
the dickering shadow of every tree
and telegraph polo looked like man
in ambush who was fixing to hold me
up. | had forgotten where the hotels
were, and uncOnsciously passed them,
for til doors were all shut. and there
was no sign. BY and by met a police
man and he conducted me back to the
hotel, and | WAS as thankful as | was
tired and humble. My pitiful tone Of
voice secured me kind attention and q
bed. When man Is far away from
home, his warmest welcome il an inn
But did not rest we'll. A 10 o'clock
mi I
eggs and stale oysters, disturbed my
corporosity and dreamed that a'tiger
got loose and came prowling and howl
ing around the car and somehow | got
a hatchet out OF the toOlbox and lifted
tho young lady through the port hole
upon the roof, and volunteered to de-
fend her with my life and my sacred
honor. The tiger made desper-
ate leaps to get up there, but every
time he got a paw on the cave, | cut it
off and let him fall back again. don't
know what became Of the other ladies,
but think that other wild beasts got in
and eat them up. The men had all fled
prematurely, but | saved the pretty
girl, the sweetest and tenderest, before
1 woke up. Who wouldn't, in drea m?
What curious things are dreams, any
howl The next trouble on the old
man IIlDu Chuo OYCF HIN aJ oullS-
bury, where | was billed to lecture
that night. On my arrival found
that august body the Prcsby terian
synod in session. Preachers and elders
innumerable were scattered among the
good people all over town. They were
holding night sessions, and wouldn't
have adjourned for Mckinley or Grover
Cleveland or the yellow fever or fire.
But this was not all, the Episcopal
bishop was to lecture on the Holy
Land, where he had been recently, and
| knew that ] would fall between and
get smOthcred. Mr.. Marsh seemed to
feel very bad, and apnlogized by sayiDg
that when he booked mo he did not
know of these meetings. "Well," said
l, "the saints will all go to these meet
ings, but you have sinners in this
town" He admitted that there were
some. And 80 I went ahead and
lectured, and WAS surprised to see be-
fore mo q select and cultured audience
| select, and | hope elect according to
Presbyterian theology.
So all Is we'll that ends we'll. The
| payt oyopip0 fnnpI mo of tho pina l;{