Pleasantville weekly press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1890-1911, 1897-06-02
Central-Hello! The PRESS.

Central-COngressma Gardner wants
to talk with you from Washington over
the long distance line.
The Press-All right. Hitch him up.
He's a jolly good fellow, and ought to
| give us some news.
Central-Here he is.
| Congressman Gardner-That you,
PRESS?
The Press Sure. Any news?
Gardner-Lots of it. That's why l
called you up. But you will understand,
of course, that it's strictly confidential.
The Press-Certainly. We are close
mouthed as an Egg Harbor clam.
Gardner-That's right. We mustn't
disclose any family secrets. Well, l
wanted to ask you if you had heard
| about the grand banquet that was given
me by the Atlantic City pilgrims who
came on here to invite the President to
attend the G. A. r. encampment in
June.
The Press-We only know what was
printed in the papers concerning it.
Gardner-That's nothing to what
really happened, and the events that led
up the happenings.
The Press-That must be good news
for country newspaper. Let's have it.
Gardner-Well, in the first place, the
boys came on here in royal style. They
had a special car and it was well stocked
with Sunday School tracts and Apol-
linaris water. Nothing stronger was
allowed except an occasional sandwich
of Limburger cheese. The section hands
on the Pennsylvania Railroad picked up
barrel of Apollinaris bottles the next
| morning which had been thrown over
board for milestOnes to mark the pro-
gress of the party. l hear that the
company were entertained by friendly
| Graeco-Roman wrestling bout between
Harry Leeds and ED" Lee, in which the
former deftly laid the latter's jacket upon
| the floor of the special car and held it
there at his pleasure. 1t was only in fun
however, for even staid business men
will have their fun, you know, just like
schoolboys. When the train arrived the
President and Cabinet were not at the
depot to meet the Committee, as some
| people in Atlantic City thought they
would be. This was owing, / suppose,
to the failure of somebody to notify the
President of their approach. 1t was q
bad break, for nothing short of an earth
quake or q volcanic eruption could have
kept such men as President Mckinley,
John Sherman. and the other members
of the Cabinet from rushing to the
station to meet Levi AlbertsOn, ED"
Lee and Joseph Lingerman. Congress
also failed to adjourn in honor OF their
arrival which was another awful over
sight which cannot be overlooked right
away. Then to make matters worse,
the Commandant of the Navy Yard did
not receive an order to fire q hundred
guns when Director Borton, OF the Board
of Freeholders, arrived on later train.
All these little omissions were noticed by
our people, but they didn't seem to
create any great CONSERVATION in WASH
| ingtOn where the residents don't seem to
care a continental cuss when greatness is
wheeled in upon them by the trainload.
The whole party got safely up the ave-
nue. and to the hotel without causing
any great commotion on account Of
their arrival, and were pleasantly quar-
| tered during their stay. In the evening
we had a great jamboree at The Shore
ham,
The Press-You mean banquet.
Gardner-Yes that is a better word.
Well, we had banquet and | got the
whole of it.
Inc HroES-aOW was CQat
Gardner-Well, you gee the Committee
before leaving home announced that
they would give feed, at six dollars a
plate, to Vice President Hobart, Senator
Sewell, and myself. was there at the
post of duty, of course. but Hobart and
Sewell didn't put in an appearance.
The Press-How is their absence ac-
counted for?
Gardner-They had ssprevious engage
ments" you know-a dozen or two
| apiece-which positively, everlasting
and overwhelming made it absolutely
impossible for them to accept the wide
open hospitality of our friends. But
| previous engagement" you know can
not be broken, and 30 we werecompelled
to forego the pleasure of the company
of our Vice. President and Senator, while
the mantles of their greatness fell upon
me. But we had o glorious time. The
feed was excellent, and Potomac water
| flowed like wine at Belshazzer's feast.
The speeches which we had expected
from the distinguished gentlemen who
were somewhere else were not delivered,
of course, but the omission became less
noticeable when Director Borton told
the boys, in his best style, of the little
verbal run-in he had with the Pleasant
vile Press at Mays Landing that morn
ing concerning the building of the
"Terrapin" Road. The intense pathos
| of the story was such that all around
him were soon weeping tears as big as
Bermudaionions. and it was enough to
melt the heart of the bronze statue on
top of the Capitol to listen to his tale OF
woe. After the banquet had subsided
some of the boys went out to see how
Washington looked after twilight. As
several Of them did not get back until
4-o'clock in the morning, it was feared
they had got lost and strayed over into
"Hooker's Division" but our fears