The Hocking sentinel. [volume] (Logan, Ohio) 1871-1906, 1897-11-04
ARIZONA KICKER.
Major ShotweII Is Suubbed by n Cin-
naInon Bear.


naInon Bear.
Wo have on several occasions all
nOunced our belief that Mai. ShOtwell
was the meanest critter in all Arizona,
and something happened the other day
to corroborate all we have said. The
Major was on his way to Lone Pine. to
dodge his creditors in this town for
awhile, when he ran slap UP against
cinnamon bear at the crossing of Dog
Creek. The bear was hungry enough
to eat grass, and the Major was so
frightened that he made no effort to
get away. and yet there Was no TRACE
dy. The bear sized him up, rolled him
over two or three times, and then walk
ed off in disgust. He didn't propose to
lower the reputation of the Bruin fam
lily by eating any such specimen of hu-
manity. We have been told that the
Major took it as snub a-.d feels very
much cut up over it, and we are glad
Of it. He is a sleek, slick liar, Il profess
sional dead-beat, and 10 dc mt coyote
would howl over his grave if he wsre
dead.
Monday last, when Col. Sage Green
of this town departed for Pilot Hill to
denver speech to the citizens OF that
town in the interests of new railroad
we warned him to begin and end with
the railroad and not wander off to
Christopher Columbus, as we knew he
would be quite apt TO do. The Colonel
has lecture on Columbus, and while
never yet invited to deliver it as Il
whole, he is always seeking 10 work in
few chapters under some other head.
We know the Pilot Hill people like n
book. They can stand good deal of
Gen. Jackson and William Shakespeare,
but they are down on Christopher Co
lumbus and George Washington. The
Colonel thanked us fer our caution and
rode gaily away, and that evening he
had an audience to mske him proud.
He began on the railroad all right, but
vanity soon switched him off on Co
lumbuS, and three minutes later he was
flying for his life. He reached here
Wednesday, after lying in the woods
thirty-siX hours, and more lonesome
and bedraggled object was never seen.
His first act was to tear up his address
on Columbus, and his next to get drunk,
and we have strong hopes that he will
get some sense into his head as he So
bers up. Every town has its idioms,
and they should be respected. Here at
Tiveadam Gulch we are down on
Shakespeare and up on Columbus, but
the Pilot Hill people are the other
way their feelings should be consulted
instead of outraged.
When Mr.. John Graham of Chicago
irrived here last week to see about in
reducing electric lighting for the pub
ic streets we plainly told him that we
iidn't believe our people would stand
t. TallOw candles and kerosene oil
lave been used ever since the first light
vas hung out, and no one has ever
.ided to give an exhibition of his arc
light and let the people judge for them
;elves, and the display took place We'd
lesday evening in front of the city hall.
rhe boys were so quiet for the first
i've minutes that we began to be hope
iul, but then old Jim Hewsen began to
Tell and away she went. 1t seemed as
f fifty pistols were popping at once,
and of course it didn't take long for
hat arc-light to grow wings and fly
lway. When it had disappeared the
boys turned their attention to Mr. Gra-
lam, and the last we neard of him he
vas seven miles west of the town and
till on the go. We trust he is satisfied
With his experiment. Our people didn't
mean him any harm, but it's just their
way. Well be in the swim with Chi
.agO some day, but just at present our
affection for candles and kerosene is
100 strong to be broken by any sudden
wrench.