The times. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1890-1903, 1897-12-19

Bunker
al hev. I want to be Gunner of Ar
kinsaw next var. Everybody in the state
Except yo' has got an ambishun, and I've
dun cum down TO see II | can't stir yo
UP. Yo' needn't hev no ambishun as big
as house, and one 10 make 20 sweat
co'r shirt. hut Jest somethin' TO keep the
chlls and fever on. Ar yo' willin' to
aackle an ambishn"
IF | don't hey TO wear butcs nor git
any ha'r cut seq /.
"l'Thcn IN tell yo' what 20 do. seq he
we ar gwine to hold county far this
fall. and do YOU go al IL and raise up
the biggest Watermelon ever seen on the
face of this airth. That shall be. yo'r
Rmbishun. and 10 viii be one TO glorify the
hull State. When that mclyon gifts the
prize at our show the name of Abe Hope
will be writ In letters of gold on the
records Of time and with my own hama
will | present yo'r old woman with a hull
pound o. snuff and new par O shoes
That's the way ne talked to me- said
Abe as he still dug at the silver. and
J promised him that ia hey ambishun. !
had growed sum whoppin' big mclyons in
my time. but had never spread myself To
pee what could be dun with en- II was
bout plantin' time then. and ] fixed UP
che sile and picked out sum seeds and
went TO work. lowed fur plenty Of
room. and put a bresh fence around the
spot TO keep the mewl Off Bimeby the
Seed cum up and the vine begun TO run.
was six melyons on that vine. but the
one I'm the middle was the best"
And it grew To be whopper?' ! Qucr-
led.
Stranger. n whopper of melyon is
one thing. but whOppnest whOpper is
another. When she got To be as big as
heer-keg she was whOppcr. When
she got TO be as big as a hour-har'l she
was whoppinest whoppcr AFTER that |
couldn't find no words TO cali her by. She
jest riz up and spread ont and got big.
and finally she was the size Of a hogs
head.
you don't mean it,
ASK Kurnel Bunker. sab, lie rid down
yere one day and took a look al that
melyon. ana arter ne had walked all
around II he SEE TO me:
"'ADe nope them pyramids Of Egypt
amt nowhar' alongside this melyon. and
the archives Of time viii be holdin' yO'r
name when that of Napoleon has dun bin
forgotten. Don't git drunk-don't lick the
ole woman-dOn't do nuthin TO skeer this
rnelyon from CROWN as big as house
That's what be said. and me and the
ole woman used TO walk around on tip
toes and speak in whispers. l reckoned
that when that yCrc mclyon got to be
as big as a shed 30 would sort o settle
down and stop GROWN ana SO 60 keepin'
house. but IL pcared she had an ambi-
shun. too. She kept CROWN till she was
mighty nigh as big as this cabin. and II
had cleaned her ON she would hey made
a shed fur the meWl. az was her hef
which made that big hole In the airth over
thar. I reckon that about 80 people cum
we're 10 look az that melyOn. and Kurnel
Bunker said that my ambishun would car
~ me TO the Lcgislachur
And YOU got the melon down to the
county fair?" I observed as the old man
made a long pause.
mo. sab. We didn't" he slowly replied.
zone day ! got sixteen men up we're with
hand-spikes and ropes. and We rolled that
meyOn down To The river and a hat boat
n hpu oh. fa.l. i,
as she went alcng. We got her on the
nat-boat all rieht ara sot of To float her
down the river but artcr we had gone
bout ten miles the roof OF that meylon
begun 20 cave in"
III was too ripe. ch?"
mo. sab. that asn't II. Fust thing We \
knew thar was about twenty Guild folks |
men. winen. and chill en-aboard US. !
ahey hadn't swun aboard. They had dun |
crawled out Of that melvon."
You don't mean IT."
Every last word. sab Yes sah-them !
three families had dun sQuattod inside ,
that melyon Eur "a cabin befo' IL left my |
land. and they had eaten away tin The |
roof got weak and fell in OH EN- They I
had dun dug out three big rooms inside /
end hang me II they didn't hev 70 or five
ats and dawgs along with EN-. I reckon
was never so mad in ali my BON dsVs
but what could do bout it?'
What did you do?" I asked
ROLLED Il ashore and let them mig.
gers brace up the roof and live "a It ali
winter. IL wasn't no good TO me any |
mo as a prize melyon. When l met Kur-
bel Bunker 1 seq TO him.:
'Kurnel. didn't yo peal 70 me 10 !
Aev ambishunr'
" 4 did. SEE he.
~.And didn't hev II like a baby with
The measlesT
"'Yo' did. Abe Hope
"'And hain't bin knocked out
and kernopped by pas
NJ o. niggers?'
ye hsy and can't blame 70 Il y0'r