Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-01-21
THEY ABDUCTED THE BAND.
And Spoiled the Dance Given by
the Rival Set.

the Rival Set.
The returned Cow Puncher set down
his cup of black coffee after he had
taken the first sip, and pursed up his
mouth into an expression of scorn.
''Slop," he said, briefly.
The Poet made a gesture of protest.
"Oh, L dare say it's strong enough for
you'll" said the Cow Puncher.
"What?" f.
'The coffee"
1T was your expression to which
objected"
when said the stuff was"
Spare us a repetition!" interrupted
the Poet.
"Well. l suppose my imagery is rath-
er too epic for you. So would the coffee
be that had in mind-I wish l had it
in this cup as well!-when 1 spoke
U-m-m!" And the Cow Puncher closed
his eyes with the look of a satisfied
epicure. "They call this stuff black
coffee" he went on, rousing himself.
about black enough for the second or
third year of widowhood, / should say.
You ought to taste the coffee we used
to have down in Texas! 1t was so
strong that it ate the enamel off the
cups" ...
That's some more of your epic i'm
agery," laughed the Boys Own Story
Writer
Pretty strong coffee, evidently" re-
marked the Poet, "but it doesn't seem
TO have been able to affect brass"
The Cow Puncher carelessly knocked
the asfres from the end of his cigarette
of his eye, but "Texas is great state"
was all that he said.
ut was two years ago." he resumed.
after a pause, that we gave our famous
dance, upon which glorious occasion
we everlastingly scooped the rival cow
boys at the other end of the town.
Il thought you lived ON a RANCH" in
terposed the Poet, with deep suspicion.
did you think 1 spent three years
out there and saw only one view? But
then you don't understand the lives Of
men of action, I suppose, and mustn't
be too hard on YOU"
"About that dance?" asked the Boys
Own.
"Ah, that was great EVENT." eX-
claimed the Cow Puncher, lighting a
fresh cigarette. "You see, the idea
originated with our end of the town,
and naturally we felt that we had a
right to it. Anybody would have felt
SO. Anybody, that is, except our deadly
rivals. No sooner had the news of our
scheme got out than they began to lay
their plans for a howdy-do, and on the
same night as ours, mind you'll"
what difference did that make ?'
growled the Poet.
SWELL, it made just this difference:
There wasn't room in that town for two
balls, and everybody knew it. 1t lay
between us to get the crowd. We
couldn't both get it, and neither of us
could get half a cr>wd. Things don't
go that way out there. Everybody goes
to the place that puts up the best show
and the other one doesn't have a cor
porars guard. We knew this, so we had
taken care to engage the only music
in the town before we let word of our
plans git out. This music consisted
of fiddle (cracked) played by fiddler
(who was also cracked), seconded by a
wheezy melodeon which had q way of
going off into fit of gasps when You
were most depending on it.
ut was a great thing for us to have
secured the music, because that, we
knew, would prove terrible handicap
to our rivals. They wouldn't be able
to put up anything better than one of
their own men who played the mouth
organ, and didn't amount to much even
at that, inasmuch as he bad only one
lung. We felt pretty jubilant, I tell
you; and the other fellows looked cor
respondingly blue. But that didn't last
long. One day we heard q startling
rumor. We could scarcely believe our
senses, but ample proof was soon fur
pished us that the dreadful tale was
true. Our rivals had hired Mexican
band from town about so miles away.
THAT settled our cake! We held a
consultation at once and canvassed the
possibilities, but we had to admit that
they were as good as hopeless. We i'm
mediatc!y enlarged the scope of the sup.
per we had promised. OF course there
was to have been black coffee-that was
what reminded me of the dance-and
whisky and various other things, and
we promptly sent out an emissary to
spread the news in the town that our
eating programme had been doubled.
rAll the time, though. we knew it was a
forlorn hope.
"You see, ii was this way: The
feminine element Of our community
was limited. Partners We're at q
premium, even II every woman in the