Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1897-04-08
POOR MANS BREAKFAST TABLE.
Eli Perkins Tells How Mckinley and Ding
ley Tax II.

Today clinched another of our great
Democratic arguments against Mckinney
protection. We call ii the breakfast table
argument. Sockless Jerry Simpson is the
father of this argument. 1t is worded
thus:
"A protective tariff taxes everything on
the poor mans breakfast table
When | met Congressman Dingley to-
day | opened up on him.
Your Internal Mckinley bill robbed the
poor man Tor the benefit of the rich. You
tax the poor mans breakfast tablet" |
said.
Congressman Dlngley looked over his
glasses and smiled. And thea he asked
me fWho said SOP
Simpson, and Mrs. Lease say so, and
Tennessee McMillin said so in his speech.
All of us free trade Democrats say so.
why, En- said Mr.. Dingley. as he
knit his brows. you Democrats should
think little before you talk 50 loud.
Now tell ne what did the Mckinley bill
tax on the poor mans breakfast table?
Did the Mckinley bill tax bread and
meat?"
NO. bread and meat were free" I said,
meekly examining the Bill.
And how about tea and coffee?'
well, / see they were free. too"
And the table, was that taXed?'
No; Grand Rapids is shipping furni-
ture to England every day
And the fish and oysters. and milk
and cream. cheese, and lard were free
100, weren't they2, es; and the Califor-
mia wine. ana canned peas. raisius, and
Delaware peaches. tOo?'
Yes, Mr.. DingIey," / said. growing red
IN the face. Il see the poor man paid
no tariff on these things"
And chicken and eggs and onions, po-
tatoes, apples, oranges. and your canned
fruit and salmon-they We're free?'
why yes they were free. Of course.
We send canned fruits. salmon, apples,
and oysters to England
And the tobacco smoked after break
fast-was that taxed"
mo it came out of the field in Nir-
ginia-pure virgin leaf. rolled up without
even an internal revenue tax.
Then what was taxed on that poor
mans breakfast table Fli?''
why, champagne. French brandy and
trutfles. Cuban cigars, Russian caviar
Scotch oatmeal, and Dundee orange mar
malade. Yes. and my Irish bacon and
English Southdown mutton chops were
taxed. My English silk velvet breakfast
spread was taxed My wife's Chinese
embroidered morning gown and her Nene-
fian laces and glass were taxed. and her
kid gloves and diamonds and the four
dollar English Wilton carpet under the
eable-Oh, it was an awful tax for poor
man to pay
1T is sad, said Mr.. Dingley. with an
accent on the is. 1T makes mo weep
when | think the only tax on the poor
Democrats breakfast table is the sugar
tax of two cents pound. And to think
hat that lax was put on by you free
trade Democrats. It was so mean an act
that even Cleveland refused to sign the
biE But we will keep 1t on just as Cor
man left it, as a monuments gentle re-
hinder to you Numbering free-trade Dem
ocrats who made tariff for revenue mo
a $3.50 00o 600 deficit.
/ must say to The sun that Dingiey and
the black Republicans handle our Demo
cratic arguments with silk gloves, but
they look like skinned cells when they ges
through with them.
| am going to Mount Parnassus. the
seat of all learning. tomorrow. to get
Prof Sumner and President Eliot to
make us a new free-trade syIlogism or
putty up the cracks in the ambiguous
middle term which the protectioniSts
have dynamited-EH Perkins in y. Z.