The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-05-13
PUZZLED THE LINGUISTS.
No One Thought to Address Him in
English.

W. Oho AuurcSS Him in
English.
Schneider, you know, was held up I'M
til the immigration people had found
his baggage. But Schneider said moth
ing, even though they put him in the
detention pen with lot of Slovaks and
a handful of Liverpool stowaways.
Schneider had arrived on the Males
tic, and he was sad. He really object
ed inwardly to the loss of his things,
because he said so afterward. But
that was all subsequent to the fun he
had had unwittingly with the immigra-
ton inspectors.
1t is well-known fact that these i'm
migration people speak more languages
than you hear in two months on the en-
tire East side. Only once have they
been stumped, and that was when a
Hottentot Bushman came along with
few labial gymnastics that set a-guess-
ing every man on the island
While Schneider was moaning in the
IPen Chief Clerk Lederhilger. came
along. CHANGING to observe the mel
ancholy appearance of the man, he
turned toward him. Now it happened
that Schneider, besides having a sort
of Teutonic air, wore clothes of unmis-
taxable German origin. So naturally
Lederhilger addressed him in German.
Sind Sic Deutsch?" he asked.
Schneider bumped up his shoulders,
spread out his palms and shook his
head.
Funny" murmured the clerk TO him
self, Il would have sworn to it, too"
And Schneider stood with a curious
look upon his face while the chief clerk
went after the French interpreter.
Presently Mr.. Lederhilger returned
with the French inspector. Calmly
and confidently the interpreter strobe
smiling toward Schneider and when in
range hurled out aXplosively:
"Etes-vous Francais?"
Again Schneider shrugged his Shout
ders and nodded negatively.
We'll, WELL" said the chief clerk.
I'll just get the Russian interpreter
now. He'll fetch him, surely"
So pretty soon the Russian inter
prefer came along, easy and pop-sure of
getting Schneider down to a fine
point
Just you watch" said he. "TIl get
him."
HI" said he, walking up to the
moody immigrant, "Zawarte Pa Rusku
hay. Redden Sic Yiddish?"
Schneider moved his seat hastily to
another part of the room, where he sat
violently shaking his head. 1t was
painfully evident that he didn't under
stand. 1t was also evident that he was
beginning to become alarmed. BY this
time all the other interpreters had
heard something was up, so they came
streaming in by ones and twos and
squads, and up the stairs and through
the doorways, and one climbed over the
gate. And ali the while Schneider's
alarm rose higher and he sat with a
look of great apprehension upon his
face
Just let me try him." said the Ital-
ian interpreter: "Hi-Sieta Italiano-
si?"
Schneider bobbed his head negatively
and protested with his hands Then
they surprised him and shot off bomb
bardment of polyglot questions calcu-
lated to confuse the senses of a polar
bear, which at best is always calculated
to keep cool.
''Habla suited EspanoI?" cried the
Spanish interpreter.
+nIl, IL.
Scandinavian.
"Thiggin thu Gaeldaedh?' piped a
man that had a smattering of Gaelic,
''Cmwvir fan ffacken ," was the taffy
of the Welsh inspector.
"Che pau muvish pc Ruski?" yelled
the Polish Interpreter. Che pau Pol
ish?"
BY this time Schneider was backed up
against the wall with his hands out
stretched to ward off the horde.
Maybe he's a Hcttentot!" some one
roared, and q :ed-faced lnaf; leaned over
and screamed: Xxi bobbri Walli? XII
bobbiri WALTZ" But then some one
cried out in English: THAT amt Hot
tentot, you mud-hen. That's Hindoo-
stanee!" Then Schneider began to
yell, too.
Hay" he cried, what is this, any,
way--a lunatic asylum or what?
Lemme Quit"
Good laws" said the inspectors,
she's an American"
That's what | am" said Schneider,
''and | want to get out" And he got