The St. Johns herald., 1897-07-17
4saess Nsedote y $ j . e.s afl

The late Professor Jowett had curi- ous way of commenting on the work that was brought to him by students. On one occasion he was shown set of Greek verses. After looking them over carefully, he glanced up rather blankly and said to the author: daVe you any taste for mathematicsT
 In one of the small New York towns where the residents swap farm prod ucts for groceries, boy was sent Io the store by his mother, and this (says the New York Times) is what an aston ished outsider heard him say to the store-keeper: Mister, ma says you're to please give me eggs worth of mus tard. The hen Is on."
 When Dr. Whewell, master of Trin- ity College, Cambridge, was tutor' he once invited number of his men to "wine"-as the entertainments or those days used to be called. Noticing . vacant place, he said to his servant ''Why Is not MT. Smith hereW "He IS dead. sir" was the reply. CT vish Tcc would tsIl me when my pupils die!' was the indignant answer.
 An Irish conductor oa a 1rGacb 0i Boston's West End railroad came into the car one day and called out "Wan seat on the roight! Sit closer on the rolght, an mex room for the leddy phwat's standing" A big, surly-look- ing man who was occupying space enough for two said, sullenly, "We can't sit any closer" Cant yeez" re- torted the little conductor; "begorry, you niver wint coortin', thin" It is needless to add that room was made lon the roight" for the lady.
 An amusing story is told of how the late Lord Fitzgerald discomfted a treasury official who was sent over from England to complain of the ex- cessive expenditure for coal in the Lord Chief Justices court. He re ceived the man, and listened gravely and formally while the latter stated his errand and enlarged upon the i'm portance of economy in the matter of fuel. At the conclusion of the dis course, he rang the bell, and, when the servant appeared, said: ''Tell Mary that the man has come about the coals. "
 Joseph Chamberlain is a young-look- ing man, though not so youthful as a few years ago, when he was member of Gladstone's administration. Cross ing the Irish Sea one day, when the steamer was overcrowded, he was &C., companied by bearded private secre- tary. The latter picked an acquaint- ance with Scotchman, with whom he discussed the slim possibility of secur- ing berths. "You and I, mon," said the Seotchman, twill occupy the berths, and the wee laddie'-indicating the dis tinguished statesman-"can just lie himself down on the floor"
 The papers are full of tales just now of how the late composer, Brahms, treated pianists and singers who were eager to get his criticism. If one of these aspirants for his favor was for tunate enough to find him at home and be received. Brahms frst concern v.as to seat himself on the lid of bis piano. 8 position from whlC1 he rightly deem ed few would have he temeTity 70 ousu him. IT this failed. he had recourse to the statement that the instrument was out of tune. "Oh, that does not matter" |" remarked one courageous individual. Perhaps not to you, but 1t does to me-" replied the master. On one oc- casIon, he was just leaving his house when long-haired youth, with bun dle of music under his arm, hailed him with: "Can you tell me where Dr. Brahms lives" Certainly" answer ed the master, in the most amiable manner; "ln this house, up three flights" and so saying, he hurried away.
 Signor Arditi, the musical conductor, whose badness is well-known, wore wig only once in his life. It was in New York, and he bore as philosophically as might be the surprise betrayed by the orchestra at his novel appearance. But, while the musicians were tuning up, he began to feel uncomfortable. Pres ently the door opened and Alboni peep ed in. Arditi knew that the prima donna had an ineradicable abhorrence of wigs. ''Where Is Arditi?" she in- quired of one of the company. Here I am," replied the conductor, rather shamefacedly, stepping forward. She looked at him for moment, and then burst into laughter. "What, Arditiw she called; ''is 1t indeed you in that wig? Never, In the world! My good friend, I should never be able to sing with that before me. Herew With one bound she seized upon the unfortunate wig, dragged it from his head, and threw 1t to the other side of the room. He did not replace it; and though he always fancied that a wig would be- come him, he never again wore one.