Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1897-10-12
: IS LIFE WORTH LINING?

The COLUMNS of a first-rate news
i paper pr: nted in this city appeared
Il few days ago long earnest article on
the question rs Life Worth Living?''
and 4 great many of the persons whose
views helped to make up the newspa-
Per STORY wrote in pessimistic way,
as though they wished Death could get
some of the Star Pointer strain into his
pale horse, so that be might rush along
little faster and relieve them of earth
~ 1Tibulations- That their troubles
weighed down very heavily these
sharers in the symposium allowed to
be known, and they did not feel like
brac:ng ur and trying it over. They
alluded to the luck which had Klon-
sEihed others and had given themselves
nothing but the Chilkoot pass. They
talked Of poverty, disease and lack of
employment, and in general painted
things with the hue of indigo.
Certainly it does take pluck to ena BILE
one 20 forget past woes and to hustle
on and make future benefactions of
them. Blu. it can be done. Level-head-
eel PHILOSOPHY will find something good
even in the vermiform appendix, which
physicians pronounce the most
useless and mlschievous thing
short of IL bicycle scorcher. And,
peCC;x N this connection serves to
brig to attention-as proof-the case
OF a Chicago man named Maggles. 1t
is always we'll to have confederation
handy.
NHsg!es is d solicitor of subscriptions.
ant: is employed by the management of
a !.:achinists' publication called Pumps
and Cogs, a journal devoted to ma
ehinery, and as dry and undressing
TO c3e average person as punk. And
Yet Naggles makes from $3.50 to SAC
l. ':@v in persuading hotel clerks and
lawyers ald restaurant keepers and
ttOth!ers and others to subscribe for
his little paper with its portrait of the
d;>co"crer of new eccentric shafting
on tie front cover.
L IS all owing to his vermform ap-
pef:l!iH. Suatching happiness out of the
jaws Of misery, Maggles causes his
oid. Notwithstanding appendix to
bring IN subscribers in waves. like pros
pc-::r.
Y year ago Maggles found there was
some hing wrong with his own physical
rurring gear, so he went to a hos
pita. and learned that as he certainly
.l:s. ::oc lave grip or consumption or
smallpox, he must have appendicitis.
That was the time when appendicitis
WAS being had by almost everybody
an'. y as holding popular attention. lit
ran its course in public esteem and
then gave way to airships.) Maggles
had L IN such way that the surgeon
chucslel in grewsome gIee and told
him thee would have to open him like
poc2letbr.3k and remove the useless
little ;raption-and they did it, too.
1t vas d long siege, and Maggles left
the hospital away in debt and out of
employment, and, indeed, under such
circumstances as to make the world
seem rather bleak to his view. But
IN his hour of darkest woe he was care
tui. .ong-headed man. He preserved
the miserable little cause of his i'll. 4
less thrifty person would not think of
saving such reminder of days of pain
and grief, but Maggles knew his bust
ness.
It would be wasteful of words to at
tempt to draw a picture of Maggies'
hard chase for job; but, bitter as was
his experience, one thing buoyed him up
and sustained him, and that was the
possession of the little, white, leech-
like torturer in the small bottle of al
coho!, and at last he obtained a place
ON the Pumps and Cogs paper. Then
fortune smiled.
The man who publishes the paper
had no thought of MaggIes making
more than IS cents day in commits
sions. and when the new solicitor turned
il reports showing himself to be en-
titled to $12, the publisher doubted their
authenticity But Maggles turned over
the cash to prove the worth of the sig
natures, and the Pumps and Cogs man
went into dreams of joy. The next day
Maggles appeared with orders and cash
approxImating $50. and on the third
day his own commission was $17-45.
Then the editor begged for an explana-
ton.
~ ou're Il WONDER" he said, - and 1
just want to know how you do it,
Well, I'll tell you.' said Maggles
~sIt-s an easy thing, and if didn't have
a monopoly 1 wouldn't give it. away.
Now. tomorrow you arrange to call at
Johnson & Jones law office, in the Cham
Der of Commerce building. Be there at
ten o'clock Have any old excuse and
wait for me and you'll see how it is
So the Pumpa and Cogs man went
round to the Chamber of Commerce
4 building the next day and waited IN the