Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-05-06
HIS WIFE is
PROGRESSIVE
4 South Oakotan's Experience at
lengthening Names.
He Is Now John Winter Green, But
He Talks Interestingly Of Poll.
teal Affairs in His
State.

State.
A brig ht and unctious specimen OF the
genus pioneer strolled into the den of
the city editor, just as that slave to his
vocation was brushing the dust from
his untidy desk and preparing to touch
the button which sets in operation the
machine that gathers and prepares the
news of the day for publication. Rush
ing up to that worthy he extended a
typical horny hand and said:
''You don't know me. am glad you
don't, as is gives me great pleasure to
introduce myself, John Winter Green,
Clay county, South Dakota. have,
But l notice you smile young man.
That name has propagated smiles be-
fore, and if you choose l will tell you
how got it.
II was christened plain John Green,
l liked the plainness Of that name and it
answered all the purposes. On note,
payment had to be made, on the as
sessment rolls it did not hinder
the taxes becoming due, church men,
bers like to see it on the subscription
books, and when our first boy died the
inscription on the tomb stone Son of
John Green looked SO definitely re-
spectacle on account of its plainness
that thanked my parents for this
evidence OF very good common sense.
"But my wife is q progressive
woman. She keeps me out Of breath
trying to keep up, but she averages up
80 well that make it point to humor
her in all her within 8. Some time ago
fad struck our neighborhood. Every
one took it upon himself to be re-.
christened figuratively SO that they
could both part their hair and their
names in the middle, and my wife
could not sleep nights until agreed
to be in the swim. I believe that is
what you call it.
| SETTLED 1T HIMSELF.
"The good honest thought we vast
ed over lengthening our names would,
If used in the right direction, have
made US bloated capitalists, and we
came within an ace several times of
trouble. My wife wanted something
to fit the new conditions. She suggested
LeGrand, Llewellyn, and hundred
more just like those, but felt that If l
appeared in any such tinsel as that l
could never look the birds In the face
again, that the cattlein the yard would
shun me and jackorabbits wag their
ears in derision, and l said no. Finally
in q moment Of disgust over my stub.
bornness she told me to fix it myself, 50
q chose what considered appropriate
and called myself John Winter Green,
being as close a. I could consistently
get to evergreen.
''Her name was Jane Green. now
call her Jane Alfalfa Green which, with
liberal translation might be constru
ed to mean grass green or green Al
grass. But she liked it. She never
stopped to think that it sug
eested anything more than being
abreast of the times, and l never ex
planned. There is such thing young
man as explaining too much, even Il
your wife. That's how got my name
and now II you find anything funn!
about II I will excuse YOU five minute
while you laugh.
POPULISM A DISEASE.
"Am l a populist? Yes I am and
am not. Populism is only rash tina
breaks out whenever the politica
system is out Of order. It is positiv
evidence of that tired feeling and tina
q cog is slipping somewhere. It vii
never dominate the parties of thi
country for it is not the nature OF tn
thing. Its yirulence depends on tn
state Of the body polite, and Is tha
becomes renovated and revitalized tn
: rash disappears. In other words tn
dissatisfied return to their own partie
that have been reformed. As long q
II remains there will be men lik
Loucks and others to use It and. see
profit for themselves through thei
epileptic back-acting arrangements Il
helping the farmers and others VIII
will pretend that the life Of the coul
try depends upon their prefermen
They are but the effects from eel
evident cause. II you could fnd
= brand new state all that would |
necessary 70 raise q crop like Loucl
would be 70 have the state bossed |
, : Pettlgrew and Picker. They vi
surely appear for they are the natur
J. effects from such causes.