Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-01-04
MRS. CAUDLE'S LAST.

In celebration of tho tenth anniversary
OF their marriage the Duilosts have given
dinner party, during which the husband
has been little too attentive to his fair
neighbor. Nine Duflost hos smothered
her jealousy all through the evening but
scarcely have they retired to the conjugnl
couch, where sho Is certain that tho offend
er cannot escape her, especially as She has
taken u firm grip upon his nightshirt,
when she opens tho iloodgatcs of her
wrath.
Madame--So, NJ. Dunost, you have so
little conscience that you think you arc
going to go right TO sleep.
Monsieur-I don't see what's TO prevent
Perhaps the pate might, for / nte good
deal of It, But / took three glasses OF
chartrouse, and
Madame-You forgot the rcmorse TINT
Providence sends to haunt the sleep of the
guilty.
Monsieur-why the deuce should Provi-
denco bother itself about me-
Madnme--Oh, know that regrets are
useless. But II could so buck ten years,
what happened then would mover happen
ngain, l can assure you. / did not expect
when we came out VI the church that tho
tenth anniversary Of our wedding would
be like this l can sec you now, dressed as
n bridegroom, wearing roso in your but
tonhole, and you kept declaring the flower
was just like mo
Monsieur--Did say that II
Madamo--Oh, know it's tho way with
you men to forget what you said at q timo
like that. But 1 remember it. 1t seems
as II could see you now MS wo came out
Of the church. You simply deyoured mo
with your eyes.
Monsieur-You mistake tho emotion
my eyes expressed. l was wearing a new
pair Of tight shoes, and they caused mo
the most exquisite agony.
Madame-Oh, you may talk about boots
today, but that was not what you wer1
thinking OF then. And at our wedding
breakfast, where, In defiance OF custom,
you absolutely insisted on sitting next to
mo, you kept passing all the dishes to me,
and believe you would have fed mo on
pearls md diamonds. And to think that 10
Is the same man who behaved so disgrace
fully this evoniDgl Oh, you need not lool;
nstonished Everybody noticed how you
neglected me. must have looked like
bad bargain that you have thrown inside
Our guests absolutely blushcd for you for
making them witnesses to such nm insult
tnhJ WAS WDhb you
to do when you invited them.
Monsieur-But you mado out the list
yourself.
Madame (ezpiosively)-Thnt is not truol
Do you mean TO protond that invited that
Mile. Josephine DucoudrayS Oh, yes,
know you arc going to say her brother
brought her here without your knowledgol
A pretty fellow that brother Isl
i.N A
We never going to sleep?
Madame-Well, I'm not preventing you.
Monsieur (burying his head In the pill
low)-Thnnks
"a brief interval of silence)
Madame-I know perfectly we'll the ren-
son thlt Josephine onme shopping about
the house. Sho wanted to see how she
would bo flxod when you marry her after
my DEATH Oh, she will not have long to
wait. Dropping day by day as am, l feel
that shall not Inst long
Monsieur Qrritated) --Oh, nonsensoi
Madame-Oh, you may vol wrap your
self up In the bedclothes when speak of
her. 1t only proves to me your relations
with hor. ! don't SOC how you can have the
assurance to look me In the face.
Monsieur This nose In the bodclothes)-
Dot ht hpe aO'hihB yph III WV ldeu
Diadame-Tho more shame to you, them
All, II 1t were Josephine, You would
Monsieur (nngrily)--For the last time
madame, beg you to lot me go to sleep /
shall have plenty of time to listen to your
silly complaints tomorrow.
Madamc-very good, sir. An honest
man would defend himself It Va only tho
guilty who keep silent for fear of betraying
themselves.
"a now interval Of silencc)
Madame with sudden burst Of rnge)
No, no, mol l shall not keep still You
will have to tear out my tongue first.
Just try to tear out my tongue defy
you to do It,
Monsieur dosing the last remnants Of
his pationoe)-Tho night is for sleeping,
not for tearing out tongues
Madamo-perhaps IL Is sacred to your
dear Josephine i wish the dinner had
choked herl Tho idea Of her daring to
critioise my dinnerl
MoDsieur-On the contrary, she praised
It highly.
Madamc-who wanted the impudent
hussy's praisesp Oh, shall never forget
your conduct even II l live to be u hun
dredl
Monsieur-A hundrcdY Just now you
told me you were not long for this world.
Madame cannot understand how such
shameless creatures can exist, daring to
lead on married man so before score of
people. Everybody pitied me during the
game of cards, when she kept saying to
you every minute, with disgusting smile,
II will tako your heart" You would have
seen how shocked everybody was " you
had not been too busy incoming over the
deccitful hussy, who was cheating you
for she did cheat you. You cannot deny
that she was caught with two aces OF clubs
in her hand.
Monsieur-That will teach You not 10
lot our little son Paul touch the cards lie
mixed up two packs when he was playing
with them.
Madame-Oh, NJ. Dufost, never ex.
pected to hear you besmirch tho reputation
Of your sonl So, then, TO defend this
shameless creature, you pretend that poor
child only years old has already become a
sharper.
Monsieur lin rage)-Oh, this is too
much Shut up, womanl You will drive
me crazyl
Madame-So much the better. would
rather 500 you crazy than an unnatural
father
Monsieur (exasporated to the last degree)
-Listen. think l have given you enough
proof OF my patience, Yes or no, for tho
last time, will-you-let-me- sleep?
Madame with onorgy)-Nover! l shall
speak my mind, cvcn II you gag me with
the bolster. on Dufiust bounds violently
out of bed.) Where are you goingY
Monsieur (who is hastily pulling on his
olothes)-l am going TO a hotel TO Sleep
Translated From the French For Argo-