The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1897-08-06
Miss MaIvina'S Organ
Blu VIRGINIA N. Leeds.
3 . . 8 8 q 3 3 8 \. 3 2. e.

such as Miss Malvina possessed is "a
membranous receptacle, the principal
organ of digestion, in which food is pre-
pared for nourishing the body"
Perhaps Miss Malvina's organ was
membranous receptacle. There were no
absolute proofs to the contrary-but
that it was an organ of digestion was
simply a SANDER. There was no diges-
ton about it. 1t was indigestion all the
way through The food that went into
It, if it made up its mind TO remain,
didn't nourish her body in the least and
only subjected her to every kind of dis
comfort.
Taken as a whole, this organ, which
for lack of confederation we shall call
membranous receptacle, was a barrel
organ OF Indigestion in which nothing
except torture was prepared for either
body or soul.
Ithad lost to Miss Malvina friends, for
tune and husband. The former had
dropped off, one by one, on account OF
their pet specifics being rejected by
either Miss Malvina or her organ; the
second was fine musical talent which
she might have turned to account but
for the same melancholy cause, and the
third was perhaps the most dismal of
all.
Col. Wilds. a gallant officer, had in the
earlier days lost his heart to Miss Mai
VIVA, and would no doubt have married
her, but during a sojourn in India he
had fallen victim to liver complaint,
which so Disguised him with disorders
of the human machinery, that any
young woman possessed of so unpar-
donable a thing as an "organ" hadn't
the remotest chance with the gallant
officer.
Miss Malvina, therefore, was simply
not in it at all. And so at the time our
story opens we find poor Miss Malvina
wretched, friendless, sickly and de-
pendent upon disagreeable old aunt.
To be sickly is bad enough without
being friendless, but TO be both and to
have an organ" into the bargain is hard
luck indeed.
Mrs. Smthers, Miss Malvina's aunt,
was a detestable person. She believed
thoroughly in the text that fool and his
money are soon parted, and she obeyed
the text to the letter. She had plenty of
money and no heirs. but like all misers
she did not consider that she had near
enough, and she boarded it up for
Heaven knows what purpose.
She was in no wise a charitably dis
posed individual, though the fact of her
giving a home to her orphaned niece
might imply that she was. But no one
.1yould think so if he knew in what man
r the home was held out.
Dear Mavina," she wrote. "As you
.Tcannot starve, | suppose | must take
you in
| And poor Malvina, whose organ had
rendered her meek and miserable
mortal, responded weakly:
| Dear Aunt: AS you say, cannot
starye and so | must accept your gen
erous offer"
AM when Miss Malvina arrived, in
company withea goodly-sized apothe-
cary shop, Mrs. Smithers' acerbity was
by no means appeased.
Bother your organ!" she exclaimed.
at bothers me-" returned poor NAL
vina.
This exclamation and pitiful rejoinde1
became an almost daily phrase.
Mrs. Smithers had not the slightest
patience with her niece's membmnous
receptacle, and at every meal such NOR
tai enemies as hot bread pies confront
ed poor Malvna. The organ, naturally,
cried out against such indignities, and
Miss Malvna grew hourly worse.
Such torments as the poor thing
knew no words can describe.
Finally, TO Mrs. Smithers' utter hor-
ror, the family physician had to be
summoned.
Nor was this the worst. After pre-
scribng all sorts of villainous COM
pounds, which Miss Malvina's organ re-
jected with scorn, DR.. Calomel insisted
that Miss Malvina should come to his
private sanitarium, known as the Rest.
Mrs. Smithers was as one demented
She fumed and ragged and almost tore
her false hair, for the board alone, with
out medical attendance, was SIS week.
But DR.. Calomel was quite as de-
termined as she was, and at last, after
fearful struggle, he won the day.
Mrs. Smithers can hardly be said to
have given in graciously, for as soon
as the doctor went away she founced
into the miserable little hall room she
allowed Miss Malvina, and where the
poor thing was having a wrestling
match with her organ. and exclaimed,
vindictively:
al wish that organ of yours was in
Gehenna!"
Poor Malvina! she wished so, too, if
she didn't have to accompany it there,
but it was not transplauted just for
the wishing.
A few days later, in fear and trem-
bling, Miss Malvina drove up in
DR.. Calomers own neatly-appointed
brougham TO the door of the Rest. e
At the time of her arrival there were
only three other patients-Mrs. Weeks,
a chronic dyspeptic; Miss Paine, com
bination invalid. and an old gentleman
who was a bundle Of nerves.
1t was against the latter individual
that Miss Malvina was particularly
warned, the slightest irritating circum-
stance causing him to tear his hair and
cry Sire"
For a week Miss Malvina rested, lying
quietly on neat little white bedstead
gazing at harmoniously-tinted walls.
On the eighth day she was so much i'm
proved that she came down to dinner.
L was a pnnue bannnet. The con-