davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24

EttUM Id1hTx-FllSST HUSH STR6EE
BRIDGE
Ee says, What time is it?' 1 told him
didn't know. Then he says. Don't you
remember me?' I told him that his face
was familiar, but I couldn't place him.
He laughed very pleasantly, and then he
began mixing drinks. He'd balance one
glass on his head and curl his tail around
another glass containing the drink. He'd
give his tail a flip and send tho liquor up
into the air and it would all come down
in the glass on bis head without splitting a
drop. Then he'd change glasses and re-
peat the performance.
II complimented him on his dexterity,
or rather his caudality, and then he told
mo he'd like to introduce friend. said,
AN right, so he put the end of his tail in
his mouth and blew on it, like q whistle,
and a polka dot alligator crawled up on
the footboard and sat down alongside the
monk. must say tho alligator worried
me q little. He was black, with white
spots, and he had electric lights in his
eyes. / saw something like 1t once before
at a variety tbeater. One eye would go out
and the other would keep on shining, and
then they'd change about. Then both
would go out for a minute Sometimes
they'd simply wink.
The alligator looked at me and then
he said to the monkey, What time did he
say 1t vast The monkey told him didn' t
know, and then both of them laughed
By George, that alligator had the most
disagreeable laugh ever heard in all my
life
1.-THE monkey jumped down on the bed
spread and walked up and sat on the pill
low right beside my head. He began
smoothing back my hair, using first one
paw and then the other. One was as hot
as fire and the other as cold as ice In the
meantime MIR. Alligator sat on the foot
board and gave me tho laugh. All at once
he yelled, Get his cyev The next thing I
knew that monkey had his hind legs
twined around my neck and was trying to
tako one Of my eyes out It occurred to
me that he was presuming top much on
short acquaintance, and m4de a fight,
but he was too good for me- He got the
eye. all right. Yes, and as soon as he got
10 he made q jump clear out into the mid
die Of the floor. Then, what do you Think
Why, he and the alligator moved the dress.
er out from the wall and began to play
'ant'ny over with my eye. Wasn't that a
nerve for you? 1t was the first game Of
ant ny over I'd seen since I was a boz.
when the alligator got excited, be
stood right up and balanced himself ON
the tip of his tail, and the electric lights
in his eyes changed colors. One moment
they'd be blue, then green, then red, and
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24
SOME SAMPLE DREAMS
How Chicago Men Amuse Them.
selves While Asleep.
WILD AND WEIRD ADVENTURES.

The Iightning Dentist Tells How It RSaned
0oldpieces, tho Book Agent Relases an
Encounter In Cuba, and the Lush 0isss
. Specimen Of d. T.'s.
"Gentlemen, had q great dream last
night" said the lightning dentist to his
friends and associates at the Alfalfa Eu-
ropean hotel, as reported by George AIDE
In the Chicago Record.
II was walking along State street, and
I was the only person on the street. Il
must have been along toward jackson
that I saw o man in dark clothes and wear
ing tall silk hat come out of shoe store
and start south. was perhaps hundred
feet behind him, and naturally watched
him and was Interested in him, because
b8and had the whole street to ourselves.
saw him step into a doorway, lift rub
Der mat and put something under It, Then
he hurried on without looking back. I
went 10 the doorway, lifted the mat, and
saw, Just as plainly as I see you, Doc
Horne, q $50 goldpiece. picked it up and
put 1t in my pocket, and just as I stepped
out to the street again I saw this man In
black lay something on q window sill. It
was another $40 goldpiece. L went up to
the window and picked 1t of. and he kept
on to tho south without looking back.
Presently he walked out into the street,
laid one Of the goldpicces on the pavement
and spread a piece Of paper over 1t. Well,
went out and lifted the paper, picked up
the money and then followed him again.
We kept on that way as far as Congress
street. He'd stop for a moment now and
then TO plant one of the goldpteces, and
I'd come right mp and take it. I remem-
Der that when we crossed on Congress
street over to Michigan avenue he climbed
up on the elevated road structure and put
one Of the goldpieoes on an iron piece that
went across. had to climb up and get it
and then drop down and run to overtake
him.
"Well. sir, We kept that up along Mich
igan avenue as far south rs Thirty first
street. Once he put the money under the
little iron lid that covers the thing you use
when you want to attach q garden hose.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24
ELEMENTAL HAVOC IN IOWA.

Haan and Wind Work Crest Damage to
Property-A Cows Adventures.
Dee Moinee. Ia. April M.-There was
q tremendous rain Tall Thursday night
all. over the state. which caused much
damage. 1t was accompanied by q high
wind, taking on roofs, tearing down
trees and moving buildings. One barn
containing q COW was carried 200 yards
and the COW unhurt. Two bridges on
the Chicago-Rock Island railway be-
tween here and Holly Junction were
swept away. The bridge on the Chicago
Great Western at Berwick Is gone
There were numerous other railway
damages. and tracks submerged. Hun
dreds OF people fed from their homes
In the lowlands. The Des Moines and
Raccoon rivers are within two feet of
high water mark and still rising.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24
Fatal FOrEetfulness.

There is no known antidote for the bite
Of the tiger snake of Australia. Persons
bitten die almost instantly. and the gov
eminent has standing offer of 81, 600 for
any one who will discover a remedy. Some
few years ago man named Underwood
actually discovered an cfficacious antidote
To prove its value he allowed himself to
be bitten repeatedly by snakes in full pos
session of the power to kill. He offered his
discovery to the government for go, 600.
but this amount they thought exorbitant.
One day he gave an exhibition before some
government officials; but. being much IN
der the influence Of liquor, he did not
recollect what he had done with his anti
dote, and he died shortly after the snake
bite, his secret perishing with him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24
Arbor Day in the Hawkeye State.

Des Moines. Ia. April 24.-Yesterday's
celebration OF Arbor day was the fif-
teenth In the history Of the state. Iowa
having been the next state to Nebraska
to establish the observance. This was
IN 1882, ten years after J. Sterling Nor
ton had engrafted the idea upon the leg
isaature Of the neighboring state. In
Iowa the law fnstructs the board Of d.
rectors in each district, township and
Independent district TO set out twelve
or more shade trees on each school
house site.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24

SO on. I sat there watching the game for
ten minutes or more, should judge. and
then looked around, and in the corner of
the room was something that looked like
prairie wolf keeping score. That's the
last I remember. I think I must have
rolled over in bed and started another set
of Eheals."
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24
Sewer Pipe Men Combine.

Cleveland, April 24.-After many at
tempts the sewer pipe manufacturers Of
the country finally succeeded in formu-
lating an organization which will at
tempt to maintain prices
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-04-24
Aprou,sed Partisan Scandal.

NJ. Wilson. the son-in-law of Jules
Greyy. who by his corrupt practices caused
the retirement Of his father-in-law and
came near putting an end to the presi-
dency, now threatens to publish his reve-
lations. They VIII cause more scandal than
even the Panama affair.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

Don't forget that Ed Newton's
is the place to get fresh vegetables.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04
WEISS CHAPMAN DRUG co.
The Hicks 1898 Calendar and PAPER,

We nre Informed that the 1898 Alman-
nc of Prof. Ira Il. Hicks iB now ready.
and judging from it's past history, it will
not be many weeks in finding its way in
TO homes and Offices AL over America.
1t is much larger and finer than any pro
vious issue. 1t contains llG pages. is
splenily printed and Illustrated On tino
book rapor, having tho finest portrait
ever given OF Prof. Hicks. 1t can no
longer he denied that the publications of
Prof. Hicks have become necessity to
the family and commercial life OF this
country. His journal, "WoID AND
WoEKs, inside from i,s storm, weather
and astronomical Textures, has taken
rank with the best literary, scientific and
family magazines o! the age. Dono. be-.
live heGnsay and reports. See the Hicks
Almanac and paper FOR yourself. You
Will then know why they are educators
OF tho millions, and unrvaled safeguards
TO property and human life. 1t is mat
ter OF simple record that Prof. Hicks
has foretold for many years all great
storms, floods, drouths and tornadoes,
even the recent terrible drouth over all
the country. The Almanac alone is %
cents copy. The paper is sl.OO n year
with tho Almanac MS premium. Send TO
WORD AND WORKS PUB. CO.,
2ool Locust St. st. Louis. Mo.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04


The sensational private bank
failures IN Indiana, the result of
speculative and dishonest manage
ment, serve to emphasize anew the
need of sound banking for all
classes of the community.
For the poorer class of deposit
ors the solution of the question is
easy if congress will but apply the
remedy. Postal savings banks
would guarantee 20 every small de-
positor who chose to take advan-
tagc Of the institutions absolute
security against loss from any
cause whatever, save only the dis
ruption of the governmen, itself.
The repeated failures Of private
institutions for the reccip, Of de-
posits should impress upon con-
grcss the need for action in order
to safeguard the savings Of tho
poor Chicago Record.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04


,,rn. The mest widely snS favsrssly hnswn know,
long experience, rem arksoi S'tiii and uni.
Of Nervous. Chronic ana surFirai pls.
IL. fuii senndshee y % ii's ahiIs,ed assry. "
where. They Ruarnniesi
a CERTAIN AND POSITIVE CURE
for tho awful oncrts Of eatiy vtc rsid tho
PWivxrE nLoop AND siiiH pir.
EAHEh speedily. completely and pttma-
Hsnyora DEBILITY AND sExuAr.
DteO1tpEhS ric:d readily to their piii,ful
PILES. FIsTrLA AND RECTAL ut..
GERS guaranteed cured without pain or
detention from bualnssa.
uyDnocEhE ard yAnicocEl.E per.
sYriiiLis. doSoRi.uEA. oLEET.
snpermaier.hea. agmlnnl weatnoas.. Lost
uiCs., Female w,esns.. and aii delicate
disorders peculiar - either sex positively
cured. a. well as oil functional disorders
that result from youthful foi.ies or the
ehress af mature years.
cured, removal complete. without cutting.
rAusttr or hiia,ipp, cures effected NJ homr
by patient. without a moments pain OF
oum SUCCESS ia based upon facts.
First. practical esrerisnre. second. every
case H. specially studied. thus starting
right. third. medicines arr prepared In our
.:ssas su,s ss' Who's. % sasss Sas" case "''
DrS. Belts { Belts,
o2e 17th ST.. Cor. Curtis
ofHvfA. eele.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

Two weeks ago this paper no.
ticed n meeting held by the farm
-rs in the wheat belt called to con-
sider freight rates. The Graphic
stigmatised it as n JOURNAL plot
to do something to the railroads.
We had nothing to do with the
meeting, but if we could think of II
plot whereby freights on wheat
could be reduced from 90 cents n
100 for hundred mile pull we
would gladly do SO.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

The masses are divided, the plu-
tocracy united. aggressive, strong,
and Whatsoever it wants it gets, as
contemporary observes.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

He who circulates "A lie or ped
dies IL lie-knowiug it to be such
Is no better than the originator of
the lie. We refer particularly ,o
the editor OF tho Graphic, who
last week published tissue of
falsehoods which purported to have
been sent to him by the G.. \. II.
of Alamosa concerning the dis
franchisement of the old soldiers"
at the home. No old soldiers were
disfranchised and no attempt was
made to disfranchise any, aud the
editor of the Graphic knows it,
but he thinks to gain some poli,i-
cal advantage by false representa-
tions and by playing upon senti.
ment, even 10 the disregard of the
highest law of the land.
During the campaign we ilatter-
ed ourselves that "our esteemed
contemporary" us he was nearing
the verge Of the grave, had begun
to teeI the softening touch Of the
all Good, that pervGdcs the inmost
rccesses of the universe, and that
his sinful heart had been warmed
by meditation upon the glories of
the great hereafter "where the
wicked cease from troubling and
the weary are at rest" But the
leonard cnnnnt chnnrn his snoia
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

The Jeckel aud Hyde who edits
the Graphic shows of to advan-
ia ;e when considering the old SOL
diers at tho Home. When he
wants their votes for his party
there is nothing too good for them;
they nre "patriots who followed
the hag through four years of
deadly conflict" ct ce:ern, and
nothing is too good for thom-ev-
en- the constitution and laws should
be dlsregarded (for their votes so
long ms they vote his wny) aud
universal condemnation and pun
ishment-next thing to hell
should be visited upon those at
whose instigation these indigni,ics
nrc perpetrated." and such doses of
fawning dcmngo query ARE dished up
TO them in nnuseating abundance.
And oven the inlimation thnt they.
or the mos, Of them, cajoy the ns-
socintion Of Matt Hammond should
bc resented lnnd by the way Matt
followed the flag nnl kept ns close
TO II ms anybody
But when the editor wnnts the
pension money md whatever else
goes with state, institution, the
old soldier becEms II depcndcn.
ward and needy ,Ihc wo'ebfui carc of
some great (nd good man like
Jcckcl himself; they should be
guarded like lot Of shool boys
and bc made to let wl,,skey alone
(so there will be more left Tor him
and his friend BloomGcld); they
should not bc permitted 10 20
down town without u leavc Of ab.
scncc; aud In case they assume the
rights Of frcemcn TO enjoy them.
selves In their own way, they
should tc hauled onto the carpc,
| and lectured by tho boss.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

DURING the past twenty-five
years congress has legislated for
the rich. If congress will do the
same thing for the poor during the
next twenty-five years and let the
rich shift for themselves-there
will be but few poor in the land.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04
Stockholders Ns~,lnr.

Tho annual meeting of the S,ockho,d.rs of
the Pioneer Gold Mining and Millin. Company
will bc held NJ tho Company. oftcu nt Monte
tistH Colorado. on III" 5rt ssonsiuy Ia D,-cti,,
ber l-.f NJ ~ o'clock n. M. for tho purtaso al
rlss'tinx board of iis,S''ors for the st.nla.
year. Rnd for tho transaction ot surl, other
business MS may properly come before the
meeting.
Dated u, Monte vi.;a. Gallo. November 18th
4. u. lsf.
Al cRuMP. S~crr,sry.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

The constituents of John C.
Bell can put the fullest confidence
IN their congressman. And when
he takes position against the an
neXation of islands 1000 miles
AWAY, or whenever he takes sides
in opposition to any other plot or
job for that matter-it is safe to con-
clude that he has good and sufii-
cient reasons for so doing, and he
Is where he does not have to rely
upon subsidized press for infor-
nation. Judge Bells opinions
are never formed by personal con-
deratlous, while acting in pub
lie capacity; in other words he
cannot be bought and sold.
The Monte Vista journal., 1897-12-04

Go 10 Ncw,on's Green Grocery
for fruit, candies, nuts and cigars.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18

is just what republicans have always
claimed. The price of any commod-
ity is regulated by the supply and
demand. But what becomes of the
great populistic argument-and the
above quoted silver exchange used to
insist upon it-that wheat and silver
were so closely allied that they rose
and fell together? The foregoing is
a complete acknowledgment that the
argument was fallacious and the
statement untrue. "The political
significance" of the situation is this /:
When our free silver friends were
trying to convince the people that
there was any special relation be-
tween the price of silver and the
price of wheat, they were either self
deceived or were trying 10 deceive
the people.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18

UNDER the new law enacted by
the last legislature for the immediate
registration of deaths, township, vii =
lage and city clerks will act as local
registrars after August %, receiving
certificates of death AMI issuing
burial or removal permits. Cities
having such registration at present,
conducted by the local boards of
health, retain the health officer as
registrar in place of the city clerk.
Thus Michigan has come into line
with other progressive states of the
union in establishing modern sys-
TEN of mortality registration. The
old law obtained very imperfect re-
suits, it being estimated. that nearly
a third of all the deaths that occurred
failed to be recorded. Prompt and
accurate mortality data are of great
sanitary value, besides which the in
dividual records are often of personal
interest and legal Importance. The
blanks for use under the new law
are being sent out by the secretary
of state TO the township, village and
city officers, who act as registrars of
deaths.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18
HOW TO FIND OUT.

Fill bottle or common glass with
urine and let it stand "a hours; a sedi-
ment or settling indicates a diseased
condition of the kidneys. When urine
stains linen it is positive evidence of
kidney trouble. Too frequent desire to
urinate or pain in the back, is also con.
vincing proof that the kidneys and
bladder are out of order,
WHAT TO DO
There is comfort in the knowledge so
often expressed, that Dr. Kilmer's
Swamp Root, the great kidney remedy,
fulfills every wish in relieving pain in
the back, kidneys, liver, bladder and
every part of the urinary passages. 1t
corrects inability To hold urine aid
scalding pain in passing it, or bad effect
following use of liquor, wine or beer,
and overcomes that unpleasant ne
cessity of being compelled to get up
many times during the night to urinate.
The mild and the extraordinary effect
of Swamp Root is soon realized. 1t
stands the highest for its wonderful
cures of the most distressing cases. If
you need medicine you should have
the best. Sold by druggists; price fifty
cents and one dollar. For a sample
bottle and pamphlet, both sent free by
mail, mention the NORTHERNER and
send your full postoffice address TO DR..
Kilmer ~ Co., Binghampton, n. Y.
The proprietors of this paper guarantee
the genuineness of this offer.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18

none the less significant or effective
because, like the kingdom which is
not of this world, it came "not by
observation"
The opinion just rendered by At
torney General McKenns in regard
to consignment of diamonds which
were shipped to this country by way
of Canada seems to leave no room to
doubt that any import not the pro-
duct of contiguous country or of
some part of the British empire, is
subject to 10 per cent discrimination
if coming in any other than an
American ship. The right of congress
under the constitution to levy such
discriminating duties cannot be
questioned, nor can the right OF con-
gress to repeal in 1897 an act of
1919 be questioned. That repeal
was indirect, but none the less effect
i've. 1t is a matter of amazement,
however, that the usually alert rep
resentatives in this country of foreign
steamship companies did not "catch
on" and fight the senate amendment
tooth and nail
a great deal of foolish censure
was heaped upon the senate for not
swallowing the Dingley bill bodily,
but this amendment alone more than
compensates for the delay required
for minute examination of every
feature Of the bill and care to weigh
the probable effect of every amend
ment.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18

THE Courier last week said: "The
price of wheat is not in the nature of
a BOOM" Verify, verify the Courier
is thick of perception or else anxious
to deceive, and in either case ex-
tremely hard to please. Our funny
contemporary reminds us of those
people in ancient times who could
not see how any thing good could
come out of Nazareth.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18
That Cargo Of Prosperity. "

That Cargo OF Prosperity.
Our free silver friends have consid-
cred it the heighth of humor and the
essence of wit to ask with a sly wink
when we expected a "cargo of pros
perity" to come to the United States.
We have said time and again that it
would follow quickly on the heels of
the passage of protective tariff law.
When we tell them the dawn of pros
perity is here now, they profess to
scott at the idea. When we cite to
them Dun's and Bradstreet's reports,
they refuse to accept the testimony
of these very highest of commercial
authorities. We don't know whether
they will even accept the highest Of
silver authority or not, but we will
quote them convincing admissions
from the very mouths of the most ar
dent of free silver apostles.
Senator Stewart says:
There is no room for pessimism in
this country. No one can be bear
in the face of the wheat famine IN Ar
gentina, Russia, Hungary, and India
In view of these conditions abroad
should not be surprised to see silver
sell as low as 25 cents and wheat as high
as 81. There is nothing in talking silver
ba nd a vi. 70,
friends in the West is TO fall into line with
the forces of prosperity and progress and
receive their due share of the reward.
The time has passed for the old issues.
We must turn TO face new issues and
new conditions. l frequently hear it
said that this security market is dupli-
cate of the market of 1878. 1t is not. 1t
is more of bull market. All man
has TO do is to get into it, go to sleep
and get rich The wheat situation in
the West will make every railway not a
dividend Garner, but dividend payer
Railroads that have been moribund for
years are now taxed to their fullest ca
pacity and are still unable To accommo-
date their traffic. / am told that there
is imminent danger of car famine on
many of the most important lines trav-
ersing this country"
Senator John p. Jones of Nevada
says:
II am not opposed to prosperity
through an increase in gold. The re-
graduate them on the fact that this
ministration. | believe a great deal of
gold will be found in Alaska, and it is
certain to restore prosperity, for which
the republicans will claim and receive
the credit. / shall welcome its return,
whether through silver or gold.
Another result that will follow from an
abundance of money, be it silver or gold,
will be an allegiance of this hatred of the
trusts. The people hate trusts and
only prosperity will drive monopolies
out of their minds Plenty of money
will also crush out the trusts. They
flourish only in hard times"
These senators, like the smaller
free silver adherents, are bound to
attribute the prosperity to causes
outside of Legislation so far as it is
possible for them to do so, but from
their larger view of the industrial
situation they see the folly of longer
denying that prosperity is again to
be ours. 1t matters not to us what
causes bring the prosperity about, so
long as it is a realized fact. But
there is no disputing the repetition of
history. In the present instance, as
always before in our national history,
prosperous era follows the enact
ment of protective tariff law.
The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1897-08-18

A FREE silver exchange says:
"Gold organs seem to think they can
make a point against the silverites
because wheat has advanced while
silver has declined. 1t is easily and
naturally accounted for by the
scarcity abroad, which has forced
wheat up, and will no doubt send it
higher. To claim political signif-
canoe is absurd" To be sure. That