davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09
SOME EDITORIAL COMMENTS.

New York Journal: The Illinois people
feel like hanging number of their legis-
lators and bankers. Yet the gentlemen
engaged in these two professions were
working hand in hand last year TO pre-
serve the stability of the currency, and
Chicago turned out in enormous numbers
to encourage them in it.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

y Simpson realizes that the way
e fiIibuster is hard.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09
WIT AND HUMoR.

Detroit Free Press: rs it settled. Mrs.
Flyly, that your daughter is to marry
young Bullions?'
Not at all. There's nothing more seri
Gus than an engagement between them
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Chicago Times Herald The threat of
bitter tariff war is premature and all
advised If sober and patriotic counsel
prevails the house will discern the neces-
sity of acceding to the most of the
changes as gracefully as possible, to the
end that the restoration of business con-
fidence ard industrial activity may not
be delayed because of controversies over
details. The peculiar political complexion
makes certain conditions advisable and
necessary.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Chinese nature is a curious branch
OF human nature. The Celestials not
only continue to buy as freely as ever
from their customers. the Japanese, but
many of the Chinese insist that they
never heard of the war.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

New York Weekly: One Recommends
t:on--Fa:r young creature (after some
recitatiors)-"Do you think | would do
for Juliet?" Manager (anxious not TO
hurt feeiings)-"Cm -er-well, you'd
look very pretty in the tomb"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Tit-Bits: where's that son of yours,
Mrs. Mulra1y. that went to London?"
We'll. sir. they tell me as 'e's carrying
ell before him. Indeed What is his
profession "'E's a waiter, sir
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Cincinnati Tribune: The
BRIGHT Youngster-Aiamna, if I'm good
will l go to heaven?
The Mamma-Yes. dear
The Bright Youngster-Hown 1 get
l,a ct-o
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Denver Post: Two Mormon mission
aries were tied up to trees and whipped
down in Alabama. Some queer things
are done IN this glorious land of free
speech and religious liberty.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Cleveland Plain Dealer: Doctor. how
can you be so reckless as to ride in those
c-en cars?"
Hush, my dear your hubby knows his
business. If l ride in the open cars
others will think it safe for them. Just
answer the telephone. dear. Yes,
thought SO. Another pneumonia patient"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

New York World: The parallel between
the history of France in 1870 and of
Greece in 1897 is continued in the credible
charge made against the Delyannis min
istry that like the Olivier ministry in
France. Il went into war totally UMPIRE
pared. The consequences of the blunder
promise to parallel the consequences of
the French blunder by extending beyond
the n ~ responsible for it and reach
ing W - the throne.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph IT see
from the war news" remarked Mrs.
Snaggs, that several Turkish magazines
have been captured. YES" replied Mr.
Snaggs. Il suppose the object is to pre-
vent the editors from filling their pages
with war articles for the next % years
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Chicago Chronicle: The proceedings
against the hired thugs of the Tolleston
club have come to q farcical end. The
foreman who led the mu-derous assa nit
in which several farmers were shot last
winter has been held guilty OF simple
assault and battery ard sentenced TO pay
a small fine and serve q short sentence
This will not only incense the neighbor-
ing farmers, but may encourage other
club employees to repeat the act.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

Puck: Wilkins-"Such idioms as Be
tween the devil and the deep Sea- though
very expressive, are not exactly up-to-
date. Simpson-"They're not? Well.
how would you improve on the one. you
quoted, for instance" Wilkins-'Well. I
think more modern plan would be to
say, Between the trolley-car and the
ScOrchar -
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

ribbon on her machine is the same color.
So it must berthe correct thing
Pittsburg Observation-Disclosures Squildig
i thought that baseball was not played
in England.
McSwili9er-It isn't
Jubilee they are making such extensive
preparations for in London?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1897-05-09

New York Sun: 1t is an extraordinary
situation in American politics when the
Republicans are dependent for a ma
jority in the United States senate upon
the admission of a senator from Kentucky
and uDon the casting vote of the vice
president from New Jersey. Kentucky and
New Jersey being two additionally Dem
ocratic states.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Wisconsin Patents.

Patents for the following Wisconsin
inventors are reported for this week by
Erwin, Wheeler & Wheeler, IS and 80
Loan and Trust building, Milwaukee,
Wis. These attorneys will furnish the
Inventors Handbook free:
e. d. Bangs, Milwaukee, marine engine
governor; ]. w Beaman, South milwaukee,,
sectional supporting stand; j. a. Charter,
Beloit, gas engine; ]. G. Fritz, Columbus.
sleigh; G. a. Grisell, assgr., Madison, ma
chine for forming armature coils; L. s. Han
son, Huron, sash fastener; Peter Peterson,
West Superior, bicycle starter; Theo. Ras-
mussen, assgr., Union Grove, hay raking
and loading machine; f. B. Rebhotz, assgr.,
Mwaukee ndfq steam crane a.
II. Rooney, Milwaukee, toy firecraeker can
non; G. Timm. Kenosha, and l.. Krummel,
assgrs; machine for making constructive
pZper-making machine; Muir & White, Fond
du Lac, cheese Grade mark)
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
PIaYfR' Postum

"Playin' possum" comes from the
fact that the possum will feign sleep or
death when pushed into sudden danger
of being captured. But pains and aches
never play that kind of game. They
never try to fool anybody, and go to
work to wake up people, leaving no
chance to feign sleep. On the other
hand, there is remedy known as ST.
Jacobs Oil that VIII lull pain or an
ache SO that it won't wake up again in
the cure that follows its use Pains
and aches are great or less in intensity
just in degree as we treat them. Prompt
treatment with the best remedy-St
Jacobs Oil-prevents their increase and
by curing prevents their return Every
thing is gained by taking pains and
aches in time for prompt and perma-
nent cure, and there is nothing better
than the use Of st. Jacobs Oil.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Defending Davis.

In the course of an address at the I'M
yelling of the Confederate monument at
Dallas, Tex, Judge Reagan took occa-
sion to defend Jefferson Davis from the
charge of being self-willed, imperious
and stubborn. more than four years
of constant contact with him as mem
Der of his cabinet" he said, enables
me to say that this was great mistake
His habit was, when he took up pub
lie question on which he had to act, to
exhaust all available sources of infor-
nation on it before coming to conclu-
sion, always consulting freely with the
members of his cabinet, and with 9th
ers who might be able to give him in
formation. After doing this AID reach
ing. his conclusion. the matter was set
tied with him, unless the presentation
of new facts required further considera-
fiO!l -
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Drunk for Twenty Years.

A correspondent writes: 81 was drunk
on and off for over twenty years, drunk
when / had money, sober when 1 had
none. Many dear friends lost, and num-
bers gave me good advice to no purpose;
but, thank God, an angel hand came at
last in the form of my poor wife, who ad-
ninistered your marvellous remedy, Anti
Jag, to me without my knowledge or con-
sent. l am now saved and completely
transformed from a worthless fellow to
sober and respected citizen
If "Anti-Jag' cannot be had at your
druggist, it will he mailed in plain wrapper
with full directions how to give secretly,
on receipt of One Dollar, by the Renova
Chemical Co., &c broadway, New York, or
they will gladly mail full particulars free.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Cheapest and Best.

Very, few shooters load shot gun shells
now that factory loaded shells can be
bought so cheap. It is cheaper and easier
to buy than to load shot shells, and there
are better than the hand loaded III
shells loaded by the Winchester Repeat
ing Arms Co, New Haven, CT, are the
standard of the world for reliability. mi
ff06Irmlty and strong shooting qualities.
lhey are used by all the best shots in
preference to any others. Winchester
loaded shells can be bought of all dealers
IN all gauges and loads. Results show
them to be the best on the market Send
tor large illustrated catalogue free
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
FEltOn'S Rival.

In a recent lecture Judge Daniel Bed
niger Lucas of West Virginia suggested
tomac at Shepherdstown by the Virgin
las and Maryland to the memory of
James Rumsey OF Maryland, who, it is
said, had launched at that point the first
boat propelled by steam. In the early
days of the state of Maryland, after the
revolutionary war, Rumsey and Fitch
were applicants for aid in developing
their invention, and their petitions were
referred from session to session.
The Maine sheep shearers are finding
only about half as much business rs
formerly.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
a G1ra DaIiVPrancR

Not instantaneoUsly, it is true, but in n
short space of time, persons of a bilious
habit are saved from the fortunes which a
disorde.ed liver is capable of iD1ieting by
lIostetter's Stomach Bitters an anti-bilious
medicine and aperient of the first rank.
The pains in the right side and through
the right shoulder blade, the sick headache.
nausea, constipation and saffron hue of the
skin, are entirely removed by this estima-
bic restorative of tone to the organs of Sc
erection and digestion.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
SPINNING WHEEL.
TO A STREET. SPRINKLER.

TO A STREET-SPR1NkL
Sprinkle, sprinkle, great big cart,
Up and down the sloppy mart,
Sprinkle, be it cold or hot,
Wet or dry, it matters not.
What though wheelmen wall and weep,
Keep the mud two inches deep,
Let 'er flicker in a flood;
Streets were made for mixing mud.
Ere the golden sun has set,
Make the streets so limpid wet,
Those who, in the cleaning dim,
Try to ride will have to swim.
Let 'er sizzle day by day;
What are streets for, anyway?
Your job is to keep 'em wet,
AND you get there, too, you bet!
Soak EN- to your hearts content,
Till some genius shall invent
Some new wheel to sail the street,
With fins and fiippers and web feet.
Il A W. Bulletin.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Ponder Over Ii.

A prominent building owner, with years
Of experience, gave the following instruc-
tons to his architect: 81 have had my ex-
perience with kalsomine and other goods
claimed to be just as good as Alabastine
I want you to specify the durable Alabas-
tine on all my walls; do not put on any
other manufacturers dope, if they fur
nish it for nothing. Alabastine is right
and when I cease to use it l shall cease to
have confidence in myself or my own
Judgment"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
There Is q Glass of PeonIe

Who are injured by the use of coffee. Re
Gently there has been placed in all the gro
Gerry stores a new preparation called
GRA1N-O, made of pure grains, that
takes the place of coffee. The most deli
cate stomach receives it without distress,
and but few can tell it from coffee. 1t
does not cost over One-fourth as much.
Children may drink it with great benefit.
15c and 25c per package.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

An old resident of Somerville, Me.
had a queer experience recently. He is
80 years old. Forty years ago he had a
severe run of brain fever, which caused
his sight and hearing to be somewhat
impaired. Not long ago his sight and
hearing came back. so that he can now
see and hear with marked distinction.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
No-To-Dac for Fifty Cents.

Over 10000 cured Why not let No-To-
Bac regulate or remove your desire for to-
bacco? Saves money, makes health and
manhood. Cure guaranteed SOC anu 81, all
druggists.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Miss Ruth Cutler of New York re-
Gently cleared high-jump bar at feet 4
inches" 1t is not stated whether the
animal just behind her was a COW or a
mouse.-Yonkers Statesman.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
TO-

The Difficulty.-"Well," said the Greek
general glumly, 1--WE have learned a les
SON." YES" was the reply. 'The
thing I'm afraid of is that it's going to be
a long time before we get another chance
to recite. '-Washington Star.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Disparaging comment upon the diction
and dialect employed by such portrayers
of Scottish life and characters as Ian
Maclaren and Mr.. Crockett has become
so common that any indication of an i'm
provement in this manner of literature
comes as relief. That Scotch dialect
may be written without the attendant
atmosphere of VaguenesS that has so fire.
quently marred its beauty in recent fc-
ton is apparent in this fragment from
j. Mackinnon's "Braefoot Sketches"
Notice it's fidelity to phonetic charm and
at the same time it's delightful transpar-
ency and cleanness:
'Wangie's RIGHT stocherty.'
"'Ay, he'll niver gle ye a bit O.
naething.'
"'A'll watch him again. All seen be
gettin' a penny fac my father
Am gettin' a penny on Saturday.
"'Fa fac?
Fac DOR Geordie'''
"And another: 80, A kent We wisna
gettin't'
Bit A am sot gettin't Surely A ken
better gin you
Its a lees, it's "a lees, it's a lees.
Haud yer tongue
No, A IL nae baud my tongue Fat
dix ye'-
ia s cyan owre tae the smiddy?'
Me An me- AN me-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

When the scalp is atrophied, or shiny
bald. no preparation will restore the hair;
in all other cases, Halls Hair Reviewer
will start growth.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

In consequence of the increasing dis
tress and poverty in Spain, the migra-
ton has increased enormously within q
few months. Most of it, however, is by
way of the French and Portuguese har-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Then Sleep Soundiy.

You can't afford to lie awake O.
nights Nothing compensates for loss
of sleep. Eight hours Of good sleep
every night is what you need if you
hope to keep healthy nerves in your
body and a clear head on your shout
ders. Yet you cannot get rest enough
while you persist in drinking coffee.
No habitual coffee drinker can depend
on his sleep. Why not break off the
coffee habit and drink GrainO in place
of it? Grain-O is made from pure
grains, has the rich seal brown color Of
Mocha or Java, is nourishing and pal
atable-a food drink-without any Of
the noxious properties Of coffee. Hav-
ing used it a short time you will prefer
it to the best coffee that was ever set
on your table. Two points gained
health promoted, money saved. All
crocers In packages at 15c. and 25c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Raphael, the great Italian painter,
whose celebrated Biblical pictures are
worth fabulous sums of money, was not
rich man when young, and encoun-
tered some of the yicissitudes of
life, like many another genius. 1t is told
OF him that once when travelling he put
up at an inn and remained there unable
to get away through lack of funds to
settle his bill. The landlord grew sus-
picious that such was the case, and his
requests for settlement grew more and
more pressing. Finally young Raphael,
in desperation, resorted to the follow
ing device: He carefully painted upon
a table top in his room number of gold
coins, and placing the table in a certain
light that gave a startling effect, he
packed his few belongings and sum-
moned his host. "There," he exclaimed,
with lordly wave of his hand toward
the table, ''is enough to settle my bill
and more. Now kindly show the way to
the DOOR" The innkeeper, with many
smiles and bows, ushered his guest out
and then FASTENED back to gather up his
gold. His rage and CONSERVATION when
he discovered the fraud knew no bounds
until a wealthy English traveller, recog-
nizing the value of the art put in the
work, gladly paid him ESQ pounds for
the table.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

1t is wise tailor who can figure out
all the why's and wherefores of his trade.
The st. Louis Republic tells of a case in
point: One of the bright boys of Ca
banne, who has come in first in more
than one bike race, has this winter been
falling a victim to Cupid's wiles, with
the result that one of the sweetest and
fairest daughters of this aristocratic
place now wears a pledge of their troth.
1t CHANGED that one side of his best suit
began to show an uncommon amount of
wear a9d had grown shiny near the
shoulder. The suit was accordingly
taken down to the tailor's to see if any
explanation could be given for such Il
condition. The merchant tailor could
think of no reason and finally called in
his foreman, who looked at it long and
thoughtfully. Finally he frightened up:
"Say, young man, are you engaged|
Reluctantly, the young man admitted it.
"Well, does she sit this side of you?'
The young man thought minute. Eyes"
The tailor laughed knowingly, and Il new
side has been put in, but the young man
has paid good price for it in cigars.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Less than one-tenth of the arabic
land of the Russian empire is under cul
tivation.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
A Kitchen Tin.

If a pot or pan or any utensil used in
the cooking of food is washed as soon
as emptied, and while still hot, half the
labor and a great deal of time may be
sawed
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
A FROG IN THE SINGERS THROAT

A FROG IN THE SINGERS THROAT.
The open car! the open car;
That bears me on my journey far;
SO light, SO bright, so full Of air,
So filed with springs aroma fair,
So free from stuffy odors stale,
So lively on the humpbacked rail-
And when the searching breezes blow,
AS up the avenue we go,
With overcoats all left behind
Fresh targets for the playful wind,
1 sing again my little lay
Tho p'raps in quite husky way:
9TH cab, tn cab, tn oped cah-
Who cares for OF pneuboniah"
Cleveland Plaindealer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Waste land in Turkey sells ut SO
per acre; good farming land at 500 and
$50.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

The reason why. there arr. so many
unhappy marriages. said bright young
woman to Philadelphia Times writer,
sis because women know too much. They
are too Independent, too prone to lead,
rather than demurely follow. Now, when
| get married, am going to be absolute
ly dependent-to all appearances. If we
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

In Italy the value of land is consid-
cred to be thirtyfour times the annual
rental
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

ham, at Lynn determined
cradle treating female ills with her Vegetable Compound
to
complaints and being her aing sisters
suffering
simply
the little
her feowbengs to-day
lief the O
successfully
the world
female
This in
Of
will not take the trouble
The testimonials which
establish beyond doubt the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

The sheep of New Zealand average
20 pounds, while those of Argentine
average only 40.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26
Superseding the Gold Brick Trick.

There will be enough bricks from
Grants tomb sold now throughout the
country to build a commodious retreat
for the gullibe victims of the shrewd op-
orators on human credulity. But, I'M
fortunately, the retreat will remain an
irideScent dream-Baltimore American
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

l know that my life was saved by
Piso's Cure for Consumption. john A.
Miller Au Sable, Michigan, April 81,
1895
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

The average annual product Of each
laborer IN India is estimated at $50.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

ooh, DEAR" sighed the little boy, 81
s'posed l was through with geography
for good and all, but now III have to
learn a lot of it all over again. The pa
per says they're going to change the map
of Europe
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

The cultivation of potatoes in Franco
has increased fYefold since 1920.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Cascarets stimulate liver kidneys and bowels
Never sicken. weaken grippe 1Oc.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Westerner-"That bank in town has
busted and the people are looking for the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Tourist-"What are the liabilities?"
Westerner-"Well, the liabilities are
that they won't ketch him; but if they
90, they're liable to string him up!'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

France has 650O.00O farm owners,
while Great Britain has but 176,500.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

When bilious costiye. cut Il Cascaret, candy
ca thartic. cure guaranteed. Toe. 25c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Just try Il Zoe box of Cascarets. candy
thartie. finest liver and bowel regulator made.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

The average consumption Of grain in
Europe is 40 pounds per inha5itant
yearly
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

''Do I get my riparian rights with this
wheel?" asked the lady of language.
Get what?" asked the clerk, surprised
into rude abruptness. Riparian rights,
| said. Do you repair t?"-Indianapolis
Journal
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-05-26

Genealogical-Eva- "Mother says |
am descended from Mary Queen o.
Scots Tom-"So am 1, then, Eva
Eva-"Don't be so silly, Tom! You
can't be. You're a v'-Punch.