Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-02-04

Washington Star.
She-You seem to forget yourself.
sir. He-How could do otherwise in
your presence:-Judy.
Friend-I suppose everything you
write now goes? Authorizes, but
most of it comes back.-Harlem Life.
Il know now" remarked the young
man who was sued for breach of prom
Use, why they call it 'courting' It'd
Bits.
Editor-Tour story is fat. Author
Yes! Editor-I wish to compliment
you. Most stories we get are rolled
up.-Puck.
"Cncle Simon, what is a phenome-
non?' "A phenomenon is man who
gets so rich that he won't accept pass
on railroad. Record.
Bubbles-My wife and l met by
accident. Thrown together by chance,
as it We're. Wheelwoman eagerly
Did you break the bicycles?- buffalo
Times.
II Jared pretty we'll on Christmas"
deedE' Yes: you know I'm street
car conductor "-Philadelphia North
American.
Mrs. Newlywed Tin tears)-You used
to say that You would be glad to die
for me. Mr.. Newlywed-Well, I would
now. Mrs. Newlywed-Well, you may
now.-Judge.
"IN wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't say under the water more
than ten minutes at a time" ''Whyy"
"Nobody down there to talk to.''-Chi.
cago Record
"Puglism isn't what it used to be-"
mo; the advances made in implements
of modern warfare have thrown it into
the shade somewhat. "-Philadelphia
North American.
Hungry Higgins-!All dis here hand
out lacks is tingcrbowls. Weary Wat
kins-Yes. t'ink l could git away wild
erbout Il t'ree-finger bowl myself.-In-
dianapoiis Journal.
Representatives. men fell on live troll
ley wires to-day. City Editor-Run 'em
In the current events column. Chorus
Of groans from the force )-Cincinnatl
| Commercial Tribune
She-Mr Eulback never boasts of his
football exploits. does he? He-No, l
understand that he has nearly killed
half a dozen men. but he never says a
word about it.-Prck.
Called any to-day?" "Only once,
and then l was left out in the cold"
"You don't mean it: where?" Down
at Bagsley's. He held four aces."-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Alethca Observation-Disclosures don't Mr.
Dusnap. l know little Ferdinand is
watching at the key-hole. Dusnap-
Well. let's crafty his curiosity, and
then he may go away.--Puck.
II am sorry to hear that Alwuhl, the
clothing merchant, has failed in busi-
ness How did it happen?" over
confidence. He brought on carload
Of ear-muffs. "-Chicago Tribune.
Judge Ito a couple sentenced for fight
ingl-Have you anythina-to say? Male
Defendant would like to have my
wife commence her term in prison after
l am released.-German exchange
She-Do you believe in long engage
ments: Howell. l think an engage
ment should be long enough to test a
mans constancy and to give the girl
| time to learn to cook.--Brooklyn Life.
Helm waiting for the interesting
! woman Of 80 that the novelists talk
about. She-Well. you won't find her
in Vienna. All the women here under
TO are not over 2oo-Illustrated Bits.
You know that old gag of telling the
beggar that you are working this side
of the street" l tried it the other day."
"Did it work. NO: he licked me for
getting on his beat!'-Chicago Record.
Cholly-It would be queer, doncher-
know, if the Theosophists were right,
and if we came to life again in some
other form. She-Yes. Cholly; some
folks might expect better luck next
time-Puck.
Mrs Mulligan-Do yez feel better this
morning, Mrs. O'Toole? Mrs. O'Toole-
do. and then again l don't. Mrs.
Mulligan-ThOt's bad. fur it's harrud
to know whether to say I'm sorry or
glad arper's Bazaar.
'They must have had a cyclone over
at Newriches' last week" What
makes you think so?" "Mr. Newriches
said they had their monogram blown
into every piece of glass in the houses"
Detroit Free Press.
What kind Of goods, ma'am?" asked
the salesman. II think" replied the
! young woman who had just bought a
wheel and was about to order her first
riding suit. you may show me some Of
your early fall styles. Chicago Trib-
une.
"Ah." asked the lady. this rouge
will not--er-rub OFF," "Oh, dear, no,
men," said the clerk; sit is especially
warranted to stand all the kisses Of in
vestigation ones feminine friends may
choose to try on indianapolis Jour-
/