The herald., 1897-11-07
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SIMILAR CASES

There was once little animal.
No bigger than q fox.
And on five toes he scampered
Over tertiary rocks.
They called him Eohippus,
And they called him very small.
And they thought him OF no value
When they thought of him at all.
For the lumpish Dinoceras
And Coryphodont SO slow
Were the heavy aristocracy
In days of long ago.
Said the little Eohippus:
II am going to be a horse!
And on my middle finger nails
To run my earthly course!
I'm going to have a flowing tail!
I'm going to have a name!
I'm going to stand fourteen hands high
On the psycczoic plain"
The Coryphodont was Mortified,
The Dinoceras shocked:
And they chased young Eohippus,
But he skipped away and Knocked.
And they laughed enormous laughter,
And they groaned enormous groans,
And they bade young Eohippus
go and view your fathers bones"
Said they: "You always were as
Low and small as now We see,
And therefore it is evident
You're always going to be!
What! Be great and handsome beast
With hoofs to gallop on!
Why, you'd have to change your nature!
Said the LoXolopodon.
They considered him disposed OF,
And retired with gait serene
That was the way they srgued
In "the early eocene."
There was once an Anthropoidal Ape,
Far smarter than the rest
And everything that he could do
He always did the best;
So they naturally disliked him,
And they gave him shoulders COOL
And when they had to mention him
They said he was a fool.
Cried this pretentious ape one day:
I'm going to be a man!
And stand upright and hunt and fight,
And conquer all l can!
I'm going to cut down forest trees
To make my houses higher!
I'm going to kill the Mastodon!
I'm going to make fret"
Loud screamed the Anthropoidal Apes
With laughter wild and gay;
Then tried to catch that boastful one.
But he always got away.
So they yelled at him in chorus.
While he minded not whit;
And they pelted him with cocoanuts
Which didn't seem to hit.
And then they gave him reasons,
Which they thought Of much avail.
To prove how his preposterous
Attempt was sure to fail
Said the sages: I'm the first place,
The thing cannot be done
And, second, if 1t could be,
1t would not be any fun!
And, third and most conclusive.
And admitting no reply,
You would have to change your nature,
We should like to see you try!"
They chuckled then triumphantly,
These lean and hairy shapes.
For these things passed as arguments.
With the Anthropoidal Apes.
There was once a Neolithic Man,
An enterpr.sing wight.
Who made his chopping implements
Unusually bright:
Unusually clever he,
Unusually brave,
And he drew delightful mammoths
On the borders of his cave.
To his Neolithic neighbors.
Who were startled and surprised,
Said he: My friends. in course of time.
We shall be civilized.
We are going to live in cities!
We are going to fight in wars!
We are going to eat three times day,
Without the natural cause!
We are going to turn life upside-down
About a thing called gold!
We are going to want the earth, and tax
AS much as we can hold!
We are going to wear great piles OF stuff
Outside our proper skins:
We are going to have Diseases!
And Accomplishments. and Sins !!!'
Then they all rose up in fury
Against their boastful friend
For prehistoric patience
Cometh quickly to an end.
Said one: This is chimercal!
Utopian. Absurd
Said another: what a stupid life!
Too dull. upon my word!'
Cried all: Before such things can come
You idiotic child.
You must alter Human Nature!
And they all sat back and smiled.
Thought they: IAN answer to that last
1t will be hard to find.'
1t was a ciinching argument
To the Neolithic Mind!
CHARLOTTE PERKINS STETSON