Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-03-26
ABOUT CATS AN.Ij RATS
A TALE FROM IOWA, WHICH IS TO
 HAVE A CAT FARM.

There win Be Rats to Feed the Cats and
 Cats to Fatten the Rats aud Cows to
 Supply the Rest of the Needed Food For
 Isoth-A Project Whose End Is CatsIlins.
 A cat factory is the latest Iowa scheme. Every little while strange ru- mors come out of the west, but of all the wild border it's Iowa sends the best The Sun has had its eye on Iowa for a long timo. Even with half an eye one could see that strange things were hap pening out there. In fact, four of these strange things happened along this way: When New York saw the four Cherrys, it decided that there were stranger things in heaven and earth and Iowa than were dreamed of in its philosophy The cat factory scheme goes to confirm this belief.
 Clinton, according to report, is to be the home of the projected factory. The idea has not been entirely carried out, but it is ripe for execution, and the magnificent schemes of Colonel Sellers pale into insignifoanoe beside tho pos abilities of this prairie project.
 Clinton is beautiful town in the ex. treme eastern portion of the state. As far as can be learned, it has never borne ill will or malice against anybody, con- sequently the cat factory cannot be of the nature of a revenge. The Clinton people do not understand it. They have given bonuses to packing houses and bonuses to wagon factories and baild- ing site to the cracker man, who said he'd let the poor have all his broken crackers. But they never gave even en. couragement to the cat factory.
 The cat factory didn ask for encour. agement All it wanted was a chance and two enterprising men from Kansas have promised that. The simplicity of their scheme is in itself stroke Of genius. Here are the details:
 In the first place, they are to have 6 number of acres on the outskirts of the town. This farm, if you choose to call it that, is to be stocked with l 000 as. sorted cats. A separate portion of the place will be occupied by 5. GOO rats The ,, 900 rats are to be fed gradually to the 1 1,000 cats Meantime both cats and rats will increase in numbers de- spite the fact that the cats are eating the rats. It is estimated that the number of cats will increase to 15, GOO during the first year and to 925, GOO during the sec. ond year.
 Of course, if the rats increased no faster than the cats, the cats would soon eat up all the rats, and there would be trouble. But they don't give way to these little difficulties out in Iowa. The cats are to be raised for the skins, which are worth $1 each in the market When the cats are killed for their skins, their bodies are fed to the rats, which will fatten on their adversaries' bones. Thus fattened, they themselves will become moro toothsonne and nourishing for the cats, when it is tho turn of the rats to 6o eaten.
 The beauty of this plan must be ap. parent. What are cats today become rats tomorrow, and what arc rats tomorrow become cats next day, and so on round the circle of rats and cats until do0ma- day-or tho time when the Clinton peo, pie shall turn out and oxterminate the whole institution.
 But this isn't all The cats become rats and the rats become cats, as before explained. Also, the cats become moro cats and the rats become more rats with persistent rapidity which makes one's brain reel If the 1, 1000 cats became 225, 900 in two years, the question is, how many rats will they have from beginning of 5000, provided tho rats increase five times faster than tho cats. One must consider the fact, however, that the cats will eat more rats than the rats can eat cats. This is important. Also, that many of the rats, having been eaten by the cats, will therefore be in- eorporated in the cat population, and will be assisting tho cat total to the detriment of the rats. Of course, at the same time, some of the cats will have been eaten by the rats, and must there fore be subtraeted from the cat Iro- dueers and added to the rats
 Now, there is another problem. If the cats ate nothing but rats, then the en- tire ,, GOO rats would be eaten by tho LOGO cats inside of the first week, and the story would be done moro quickly even than tho famous tale of Solomon Grundy, which covered 8 period of Beyen days, not counting the obsequies which must have occurred the next week. There must be way out of this. Naturally enough, its milky way. 4 1 third section of the farm will be devoted to COWS. The cows, it is to be hoped fer the success of the scheme, will give milk. Part of this milk will be fed to | the cats. The rest will bo mado into cheese for the rats. It is so easy to kill two birds with ono stone if you have the right kind of birds and tho right kind of stone.
 Here, then, is the project complete. HjVrt rho favY,, 4. l.