The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-07-14
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

He-"Miss Peavick's age is telling
upon her." She--"What ingratitude!"
Puck.
"What constitutes n good joker"
'1'he right sort of fellow to tell it
to. Judge.
First Neighbor proudly - my
daughter is learning the violin Sec
ond Ditto (sadly)-'So hear. Lon
don Fun
George, isn't this o love of bon
net?" 81 suppose SO; it doesn't look
as if it would last longer than six
weeks Puck.
Parke-"I thought you said you had
plenty OF furniture to fill your new
house" Lane-"That was before 1
moved. Judge.
Wheeler-"I hear Sprockets mnr-
ried Tartarl' Bearings (sententious-
ly)-"Yes-poor old fellow she steers
their ndemV-Puck.
His Wife-"Well, they've returned
our lawn mower at last" The Sub
urbanite--'Is it completely worn out
or does it merely need repairs?"-
Puck.
Gentlemen of the jury" said the
lawyer, "there were thirty-six hogs.
Please remember tho fact-just three
times as many as in the jury box, gen
tlemen.
He-"He that courts and runs away,
will live to court another day" She
"But he that courts and does not wed,
will find himself in court instead. -
Standard
Young Author-"Can you tell me
how to become a good poet?" Editor
ooh, yesl The very first thing for you
is to die All the good ones are dead"
STANDARD.
"How is this, Count? They say the
stone in this ring you gave me is imi-
tation." "Oh, like enough. I never
was very strong in mineralogy. -
Humoristische Blaetter.
Hicks-"How did Jackson make ~
his money anyway" Dix, -ast1s1 OF
literary work. He had to get out Of it
because he couldn't make a dollar in
it. ."-Somerville Journal.
Grimshaw-"Well, beat Borrowby
out of 81 just now. Askins-- How
in the world did you do lt?" Grim
shaw--"Oh! he struck me for five, and
lent him one. Puck.
II is great pity that a man can't
discharge his debts as woman does
hers-by hiring hall, and passing
around bit of cake aud dab of ice
cream. .-Atchison Globe.
Aunt Sarah Ito nephew from the
city)-'Is Uncle Cyrus through milk
ing, Teddy?" Teddy--"Not quite
He's finished two faucets and has just
begun on the other two. Judge.
Walker Fart thought your next
tour was to have been through South
Africa" Count d'Ties-"It was, but
the company struck. One of them had
read that an ostrich egg often weighs
dozen pounds"
She (angrily)-'I believe you think
more of that nasty old pipe than you
do of me, your wife" He (mildly)-
"Well my dear, can keep my pipe
from going out. Cincinnati CONNER
cial Tribune
The Fiancee (vaguely)-"If Harry
leaves for Boston to-day he won come; /;
but if he comes TO tea--we'll know he's
herem Maiden Aunt (bitterly)--"I
shouldn't Judge by appearances--men
are so deceitfulp Truth.
Wickwire-"H Have you been follows
ing Timmins's career lately? He has
written several short articles full of
promise Mudge-"So have l, but L
haven't been able to pay any of them
yet. indianapolis Journal.
Cumso--''Why don't Mr.. Gilgal and
Miss Perkasie get married?" Cawker
--"Shyness on both Sides Cumso--
"How do you make that out?" Cawker
--"She is a shy little thing by nature
and he is shy of cash, Detroit Free
Press.
"Are you sure these corsets are uu-
breakable?" asked the doubling GUS
toner. 81 have been wearing one my
self for year" said the saleslady,
"and it ain't broke yet. And, she
continued, blushing, II am engaged. +"
Cincinnati Enquirer,
Department Store Photographer
/ (suayely, to sitter) -"Now look pleas
ant, please" Van Prune being photo
| graphed while waiting for his wife,
niserably)--"I can't. My wife is
downstairs attending your bargain
sales of dress goods and millinery. -
Puck.