The Red Cloud chief., 1897-03-12

~ by excessive drink
ing. producing apo
plexy In the minds Of the Jury"
An old French lawyer, writing of a,
estate he had just bought, added:
There is a chapel upon 1t in which
my wife and wish to be buried, IL Co.
spares u lives"
On a tombstone in Indiana is the Col.
lowing inscription: This monument
was erected to the memory of John jim.
klns, accidentally shot as a mark OF
affection by his brother"
A Michigan editor received some
verses not long ago with the following
note of explanation: These lines were
written fifty years ago by one who has,
Tor a long time. slept in his grave
merely for pastime."
A certain politician. lately condemn
Ing the government for its policy CON
corning the income tax. is reported to
nave said: They'll keep cutting the
wool of the sheep that lays the golden
eggs until they pump It dry"
An orator at one of the university
unions bore off the palm when he de-
clared that " the British lion, whether
1t Is roaming the deserts OF India or
climbing the forests OF Canada, will not
draw in its horns nor retire into it's
she'll"
A reporter in describing the murder
OF a man named Jorkin said: 1.-THE
murderer was evidently in quest of
money. but luckily Mr.. Jorkin had de-
posted all his funds in the bank the
day before, so that he lost nothing but
his life"
A merchant who died suddenly left
in his bureau a letter to one Of his cor
respondents which he had not sealed.
His clerk, seeing 1t necessary TO send
the letter, wrote at the bottom: "Since
writing the above l have died.
An Oklahoma editor expresses his
thanks for a basket of oranges thus:
We have received a basket Of oranges
from our friend, Gus Bradley. for
which he will please accept our COM
pliments, some of which are nearly six
inches in diameter"
The Morning Post In 1912 made the
following statement: 1--WE congratu-
late ourselves most on having torn off
Cobbett's mask and revealed his cIoyen
foot. 1t was high time that the hydra
head of faction should be sound.y |
raped over the knuckles."
An English lecturer or chemistry
said: "One drop Of this poison placed
on the tongue Of a cat Is sufficient to
kill the strongest man." and an Eng
lish lieutenant said that the Royal
Niger company wished to kill him to
prevent his going up the river until
next year.
A clergyman in an eastern town warn
ed his hearers lately mot to walk in a
slippery path, lest they be sucked
maelstrom-like, into its meshes!" This
metaphor suggests that Of another
who prayed that the word
might be as a nail driven In a sure
place. sending its roots downward and
it's branches upward"
The present duke Of Leeds Is re-
to have accused the late govern
ment Of making a direct attack on the
brewers by means of a side wind. It
'sas during the late administration that
one of the Irish whips telegraphed to
Dublin that "the silence of the Irish
members would be heard in the house
OF m no longer"
1t was the celebrated Sergt. Arabin
who, at the Central Criminal court in
the prisoner before him that
there was a clearer case Of man rob-
bling his master that case was this
and. after passing sentence, con-
81, therefore. give you the op-
portunity of redeemlng a character ir-
retrievably lost"
In the Irish house Of commons Of
1895, during a debate on the leather tax,
the chancellor Of the exchequer. Sir
John Parnell, observed that, "in the
prosecution Of the present war every
one ought to be ready to give his last
guinea to save the remainder of his
fortune" Mr.. Vandeleur replied that
"a tax on leather would press very
on the barefooted peasantry
Of Ireland"
At q recent temperance gathering
orator exclaimed: THE glorious
work will never be accomplished until
the good ship Temperance shall sail
rom n end Of the land to the other,
and with a cry of 'Victory!' at each
step she takes shall plant her banner
every city, town and village Of the
States" Another speaker said
"All along the untrodden paths
Of the future we can see the hidden
footprints OF an unseen hand" "We
pursue the shadow, the bubble bursts