The sun., 1897-11-14
The Reduction of the Finest.

We have referred already to the methods
by which the Anthropological Bureau, re-
Gently established by the Police Depart
ment, hopes to prevent the members Of our
justly respected and highly appreciated
police force from accumulating too much
fat. The subject is of immense and continu-
ing interest to all philosophical citizens.
Without undertaking the athletic ex-
ercise by which the police force is to be
reduced, it is permissible to doubt IL
any diminution of policemen will be ap-
proved by the community. In the heroic
age the N.w York policeman was ample,
even vast. COG and MAGoG. fed on the
Lord Mayors richest calipash and calipee,
melted into blue, and wearing their own
clubs, would not have been more comfort
able and imposing figures. You felt In
those days that only big and rich city
could afford to keep policemen 80 volu-
minous and high-colored. Even the pilots
of the Broadway stages, a fearless, original,
and expressive race of men, looked almost
with humility upon these magnificent mas
ters of traffic and obeyed their uplifted
hands without imprecation.
1t was beautiful to watch the conflicts
for the right of way between these enlarged
policemen and the truck drivers. The truck
driver, in the times before reform, was
person who habituaily defended doubtless
amiable personality behind a palisade of
language imported from Flanders. He
seemed to be vexed as If by the thought
that he was born too late to be pirate Of
the Spanish Main, and had to content him.
self with breasting the waves of West
street. 1t was his hearts delight to mock
the world and cut down all folks on foot.
Was he a man to be restrained by little,
thin policeman A policeman might have
had the heart of HECTOR and the dynamic
arm of FITZsIMMoNs, and yet have failed
to touch the imagination of the warrior
truck drivers. To these the dignity Of
mass appealed. They feared the man whom
they couldn't run over; and one of those
old-fashioned bulging, monumental patrol
men was no more capable of being run over
than st. Peters is. The truck driver might
run over somebody else and escape for a
moment, but he knew that punishment
awaited him at the end of very short lane.
That policeman he might elude, but before
long he was sure to come upon two
policemen talking together. Passage was
impossible. He had to surrender. The fat
men were slow but sure.
AS matter of fact no violator of the law
who had any sense of etiquette ever tried
to run away from fat policeman. AS rule
criminals are thin. They worry too much.
They fear fat policeman. They see in him
their deadly opposite.
7 TO- lu to -, ~
the sense of genial security diffused by fat
policemen. 1t is an ancient jest that po.
licemen are hard to find. The fat police,
man was impossible to lose. He was a
landmark, n beacon. In town swarming
with strangers he was a convenience, if not
a necessity. He basked and waddled, an
ornament and JOY.
Some of the civil service machine police.
men of to-day fit about not much wider OF
more palpable than ghosts. A good guesser
would put the combined age of two of them
at "a and the combined weight of two oi
them at 125 pounds. Probably they have
all the virtues, but they seem better fitted
to be tigers" behind a pony cart than to
be the law on legs. They don't look like
deterrents of crime. And yet they are very
severe to boy flower peddlers, and their
frown Mt the sight of a push cart is tremen.
dous. They mean well. but they have not
the confidence of the public, and little,
wanton boys Of the street put thumb to
nose at their approach.
| Still, the fat policemen are doomed to
lean years. Space in this town is so valu.
| able that policemen cannot be allowed to
| occupy more than fair share of 1t.