The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1897-02-18
MY REVOLUTION.
BY W. l.. ALDEN.

Mr.. James Smith, ex ambassador
the Unified States to the court
Lichtensteiu. sighed as he put dow
his glass of whisky and soda He va
T usually in excellent spirits, and as
knew the whisky was particular
good, l wondered at his apparent me
ancholy.
Il was thinking" said he, ''of I'll
days when l was American ministt
to the Central American republic
Our government used to bunch all tb
five republics together and send on
minister to the lot of them. | wa
young i'll those days, and though Cel
tril America was mighty rough plac
! enjoyed it heap mere than I eve
| did any of those European courts. !
was big thing to be ambassador t
| Lichtenstein and TO have hand III th
| political pie of pretty near every na
ton in Europe, but l never enjoyed
az enjoyed my first mission to Ger
tral America. | liked the place S
much that | stayed there twelve year:
which was what you might call break
ing the record
You know, l suppose, that our go
vernment whenever new adm nistra
| ton comes in, turns out all the foreign
ambassadors and ministers and puts il
a lot of new men / ought to have
been turned out after being in Office
four years, but l knew that / couldn
be recalled except by notifctio-. tc
that effect from Washington, and
took good care that no notification
| could reach me. When my four year.
We're pretty near mp L got permission
to make tour of the five republics
aud to report on their general cond1
ton.
The Central American postotfice ar
rangements were very bad, and | cal
culated that | could always keep a
head of any dispatch recalling me that
the " ashington folks might send. For
four years | kept moving from one
place to another, and never once IN
that whole time did a single blessed
dispatch or letter from the states catch
up with me. Finding that 1 couldn't
be reached by mail the governor sent
out three successive special messen-
gers, with orders to hunt me up and
notify me that was recalled, but none
of the messengers were ever able to
come up with me. One of than did
get within days journey Of where |
happened to be, and | began to think
that the game was mp, but luckily he
died of fever before he could do any
harm.
When the four years were ended, ,my
own political party come into power
again, and the new president happened,
to be au old friend of mine. SO he
kept me in Office another four years
and about the end of that time [ re-
signed of my own accord. / had a
bang up time exploring the country
while | was keeping ahead of the mail
and all the messengers, for | had no
work to do, and living was so cheap
that didn't spend any money to speak
Of.
When [ was free to return to my
post of duty [ lad four years of back
salary to draw, and though it only
made $4,000 all told, it made me one
OF the richest mon in Central America,
barring, Of course, the presidents of
the different republics.
The president of Zarguela was as
good fellow as you need to meet
provided, of course, that he didn't feel
any call to shoot you He and l were
as thick as thieves The other min
listers were pretty swell lot. especially
the Europeans. They used to come
to the palace dressed up in gorgeous
uniforms, and at first they looked
on me because | wore a blue flannel
shirt and trousers, and nothing else
except boots and a necktie. You see
our government didn't furnish any
uniform for its diplomatic officers, SO
L just adopted the flannel shirts and
trousers for comfort, and gave out
that they were the regulation uniform
Tor a United States minister
The other ministers used to put oD a
heap of style, some as they do this side
of the Atlantic, and [ could see that it
bored the president, who was a rough
soldier who had risen from the ranks.
He liked my free and easy style, and
before | had been in Office a month |
had more influence with him than the
whole diplomatic gang put together
| taught him to play poker, taking care
that the balance of windlngs should
always be on his side, and l spent the
greater part cf my evenings in his pri-
vate room with nobody present but
just we two and a bottle Of genuine
Kentucky whisky that | imported for
diplomatic purposes.
This President Don Villar y Villar
had been in Office five years when |
made his acquaintance. That was
something very unusual in Central
America, where president is general
ly turned out or assassinated within
two years after he goes into office.
This particular president, however,
had shot so many of his opponents the
day after his inauguration that there
was nobody who was in a position to
raise revolution against him Then
again, he had governed the country SC
remarkably we'll that he was everias
tingly popular.
People had got used to living a quiet
hfe, without semi mouthly insurrec
ton and biennial revolution. They
found it paid a good deal better than
he old way of man aging things, and
| If there had been free election an,
time while ] was in Zarguela. Don
| Nlllor y Nillar would have been re.
elected by an unanimous vote. Oi
course, there wasn't any election, fo,
| he didn't hold with any such foolish
ness, but l Just mention the thing tc
show how genuinely popular he was
One night the president seemed to
be In curiously low spirits, and after {
bit | got him to tell me whaa was th,
matter I'll tell you the whole story.
he said, for l know you will sympha
TIE with me. l have been presiden
now going on for five years. and ther,
is pretty nearly 100000 ia the trea
ury. Now it has always been tn,
practice for the president to be turnet
ont by resolution inst &c coon &c fb,