Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-12-12
HERE AND EVERY WHERE.

There was "a hot old time" in Fulton
Thursday evening, occasioned by the
| rejoicing occasioned by the acquittal OF
| Wylie Bowers. He was the lion of the
evening, and his stolidity and sphynx
! like attitude was noticeable as it was
| during the trial. His brother George,
| the colossal prevaricator, was not pres
ent, as ne remained a guest of Sheriff
Richards.
A certain boarding house in Wheeling
has as a guest would-be poet. He is
| quite anxious to see one of his illusions
in print, and as it eulogiZes this city,
it is printed with the understanding
that no bombs are to be thrown. Just
read the following:
mo matter where you choose to go,
From Maine, clear down to Mexico,
We all know why they tell us so
Because it is their feeling.
For people everywhere to say,
In some quite reassuring way,
There is no city of to-day,
That comes up to Wheeling.
We've heard this story DER and Ger
In every cline, on every shore,
And everywhere the people roar
About the well know city.
We quite believe if one should go
To Satan's burning realm below,
He'd speak about Wheeling you know
In words of prose. and dirty.
If you are riding on the cars,
Or sailing with the tough old tars,
Or visiting the planet Mars,
I'm bound to say with feeling.
This magic name is on the lips
OF all you meet while on your trips,
And each one ready with their tips
on prosperous Wheeling.
II tho ITp;tad Ctorac orraxoe IJor,,;;
will that necessarily carry with it the
eX-Queen? President Mckinley might
appoint her postmistress at Honolulu,
that is if Mark Hanna has not promised
the position to some other colored per-
son for influence
An appolinariS club has been formed
in this city, and only those are eligible
who have refused ten drinks. The Of
| ficers are selected by the number of
| credit marks received, and a mark is
credited to the member every time he
| spurns the offer of a drink. 1t seems
too bad to form this club just as the
saloonists have paid their fines and
taken out long license, but then its
How long, Oh, Lord, how long?"
| ~
Now is the time for the ladies tC
purchase parlor lamp, sewing table
or handsome rug to present to their
husband on Christmas while the latter
will rush in and buy his wife an easy
chair, carving set or meerschaum pipe
~
I If you have time and don't Car roll
you have to do is to attend the Catholic
fair. The bevy of young ladies are at,
tractive and solicitous, and the world
of novelties is such that on your exit
you will not have car fare left.
A benevolent old gentleman dropped
some silver into the box of an arm
less soloist yesterday, and with pity
and sorrow asked the supplicant
where he lost his arms. The face
tious man said "On, | didn't lose
them. l know where they are. They
are buried in Utica, New York, and
can get them whenever | want them.
The old gentleman said ''Umph!" and
walked away meditatively.
~
Patsy Joyce, formerly known as
Percy" mailing clerk at the postoftice
is not only a success in his business
but stands pre-eminent as story
teller. His fund of Irish tales truth
fully depict the eccentricities of the
Emerald Isle boys. The following Is
the latest, and some of his friends be-
lieve it is entirely original and
eminates from the grey matter Of the
genial mailing clerk.
AN Irishman near Limerick fell
from a high building and grasped q
telegraph wire in his descent. He
| held on and called to his friends, who
seeing his precarious predicament, told
him to hold on until they could secure
mattress. After their departure PA
let go and fell in heap to the pave
ment. On the return of the boys, one
of them said: Pat, why didn't yor
hold on till we got something for vol
to fall on?' Pat, who could scarcely
talk, replied in low tone: Be COB
| would that, but | was afraid the
| wire would break.