Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1897-04-17

NV sweetheart rides her wheel at night,
Yet shows no lantern proper;
Her eyes, so bright, A,e full Of light,
And fool the watchfut copper
Cincinnati ComWerclalTribune.
WHENEVER AWAKE.
New Boar der" "What is the land.
lady scold:ng about?"
Old Boarder about 1.-TWO thirds Of,
the time" |
GOOD REASON.
Smyth-"What makes you think,
Boggett is good bookeeper?"
Brownsville never returned the
ones loaned him. "-Twinkles.
Leola-"Don't you think they are
two souls with but single thought?"i
Hazel-"Well, 1 shouldn't wonder.
They are both making fools of them
selves. Truth.
DEFINITION.
Schoolmaster-" poet is called
word painter; now, Tommie, can you
name me great poet?"
Tommie-"Dad! He paints signs. ,"
New York Herald.
NOT REoIPRocATED.
Mrs. Newrocks-"I like our new
butler very much.
Mr.. Newrocks-"So do I; but
I'm afraid he has poor.
opinion of us. Puck.
A NATURAL QUESTION.
"My little girls eyes are the color
of the sea, said Margie's Papa hold.
ing the small miss in his arms.
"An' is Eat why ze tears tas' SO
salty?' she Asked Puck.
THIS IS CHASTITY.
"You are doing right we'll to- day."
said the n.atch.
"Oh, yes !" answered the natural gas.
'It is a cold day when get turned
down at headquarters" ."-Indianspolis.
Journal.
IN THE JURY ROOM.
First Juryman-''That lawyer was
very complimentary to as in summing
up"
Second Juryman-"He was, indeed!
He fattered us so eloquently that ]
forgot he was wasting our time. y
Puck.
AN OPINION 1NDoRsED.
"Dis here piece" remarked Plod.
ding Pete, sounds an impressive note
O. warnin.' 1t says us Americans orter
take longer for our meals"
$50 we ought" replied Meandering
Mike. "We orter take more time,
an not waste minute of it, neither"
Washington Star.
HER STANDARD OF BEAUTY.
"She said she thought was looking
WE'LL" remarked the young man who
was looking pensive.
"U'm-yes. But you'll notice that
the next minute she asked me if 1 did.
MT think her pet bulldog was the
animal in the city,
Washington Star.
WHERE REFORM BEGINS.
"Josephine has an interesting meas.
ure to put before the mothers con-
gress."
"What is it?"
"She wants a law compelling every
woman who has a son to remember
that he will probably be some other
woman's husband. "--Chicago Record.
RUTHLESS SUGGESTION.
81 WONDER" said the young man
who is able but exceedingly loquacious,
"why it is that a genius is not appre.
ciated until after he is dead"
"Perhaps," was the cold. .blooded
answer, "it's because in so many cases
he insists on boring his friends up to
the time OF that occurrence. Wash.
ington Star.
HOW IhE ADMlnhh WENL avail
The Admiral is paying q semi.otficial
visit to one OF the battleships, and has
signalled to the flagship for his flag
lieutenant to come to him.
The flag lieutenant, dubious as to
the correct dress, goes in quest of the
cabin door sentry Ia marine).
"Sentry, did the Admiral 60 away
in his cooked hat?"
sentry-"No, sir, in his steam
launch"
Collapse of alag Jack. Answers.
AN APPREHENsIvE FATHER.
~ think" said Mr.. Blykips, "that
I'll send note to Willie's teacher and
tell her to stop his geography lessons
till next term"
~ don't SEQ Why" replied his wife.
''The class has just started in on the
map of Europe; and the higher he
passes in his examination the harler
it will be to start in and learn it all
over again when King George and the
Sultan get through with what they are
going to do to the boundary lines."-
Washington Star.
The Eject SpOileU.
Senator Voorhees, once had succeeded
in delivering an appeal which had
brought tears to the eyes Of several
iurymen. Then arose the prosecuting
attorney, a gruff old man. with u pip.
ing voice aud nasal twang. "Gentle.
men," said he, deliberately, ''you
might as we'll understand from the
that am not boring for
water" This proved so efectuai
wet blanket to the emotions excited
by Mr.. Voorhees, that he realized the
futility of his own "boring. AR.
gonaut.
Pictured History.
The lively optical instrument with
manv nance but known in England