Cottonwood report. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1893-1901, 1897-12-10
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When girl is worried about the kind
Of neckties young man wears she
loves him. -Somerville Journal.
The difference between the astron-
omer and the chorus girl is that one
studies the stars and the other under
studies them. Philadelphia Record.
These lake excursions seem so lone
some" Lonesome? Why, am with
YOU" Yes, I know, but I couldn't
bring my wheel along."-Chicago Rec
ord.
She-"The Sanfords contemplate TAX.
Ing trip to Europe. l wish we could
afford to do it," He-"Why, there's
nothing cheaper than contemplation"
i Puck.
! Watts-"Getting little rest out your
way since the piano girl took to the
wheel, aren't your Potts-"Naw.
Her bicycle suit is louder than the
piano was."-Indianapolis Journal.
Fuddy-'T understand that wigley
spends most Of his evenings here at
your house?" Duddy-"I had an Inn
preston that It was my evenings that
he spends here. Boston Transcript.
The Judge Didn't tell you the last
time that you were here that wanted
to see your face in this court no moreY'
Weary Watkins-"You did, yeronner,
and that is exactly wot tole the cop"
There's the bicycle face and the bicycle
back,
With its queer, altitudinous curve;
And the bicycle tongue, in the middle
hung,
And the scorcher's bicycle nerve.
Queensland Wheel
Customer--"Do you guarantee these
porous plasters to be good for weak
backT Druggist-"Yes, sir; they are
good for week back-and for month
to come after you put them on."-Judge.
A Remarkable Woman-Mr. McCor-
kle-"My wife has a better memory
than any other woman / know" Mr..
McCrackle-"Indeed Mr.. McCorkle
trumps. Judge.
Il told her was afraid to kiss her
while we were on the tandem for fear
we would both fall off," what did he
sayT" "She said she hoped l didn't
call myself an experienced wheelman."
Chicago Record.
Fuddy-' They say you have liking
for Miss Spontel.' buddy. 4Sonsensel
The woman is insupportable." Fuddy
THAT'S just 1t. You won't have to
support her. She's got enough for
two. Boston Transcript.
Gent (solicitously) -"Sir, have here
some indestructible pieplates" Mr..
Hall Bedroome (grimIy)-"Well, you
have come to the right house to sell
them. That's the sort of pies Mrs.
| Skinner gives us.''-Puck.
Il understand their engagement has
been broken" Eyes. She says she was
deceived. He had only six century runs
to his credit instead of sixteen, and as
she had fourteen herself, he was clear
ly out of her class. Chicago Post.
Advice from the Heart.-Barrow--
That's dandy wheelsyou have there.
old man. I'll take little spin on 1t
some day. BY the way, what kind of a
wheel do you think 1 ought to rider
/ Marrow-"One of your OWE" Brook
In Life.
"He is an awfully wise young man,
to have seen no more than twenty
three summers" HE may have seen
but twenty-three summers, but the
number of summer girls he has met
runs up to the hundreds.
Journal.
Seven dollars for room and break
fastf Great Scott! man, that is awful
ly steep. And awfully high" said the
victim. "Yes," admitted the summer
landlord, sit is SO high and steep that
don't see how can come down."-In-
dianapolis Journal.
A Game Law in Itself-Gobang-
think I'll do quite little shooting this
summer. l wonder what the close sea-
son isY' Buckshot-"Well, in your
case, old man, fancy IL you applied to
the Legislature, they'd throw the whole
year open to you."-Truth.
Its surprising how impractical some
very learned men are.' Eyes, there's
Prof. Lingwist, for example. He spent
over half his life in acquiring fiuency
in ntne or ten different languages and
then went and married wife who
never gives him chance to get word
in edgeways."-Truth.
II happened to remark little while
ago, in the presence of Miss Billmore,
that some persons carried their fond
ness for cycling to extreme lengths. I'd
like to know what there was in that OBJ
servation to cause her to turn red and
say, 'Sirr" "Great Scottl Don't you
know? She is engaged to a young BIZ
cyclist nearly six and half feet high"
Chicago Tribune.
A man had been up for an examine
ton In scripture, had failed utterly and
the relations between him and the ex-
aminer had become somewhat strained.
The latter asked him If there were any
text in the whole Bible he could quote.
He pondered and then repeated: "And
Judas went out and hanged himself"
els there any other verse you know In
| the BibleY' the examiner asked. Eyes.
/ Go thou and do likewise" There was
solemn pause and the proceedings
! terminated.-Argonaut.
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