Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-01-15
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The English language must be tough,
At least. that's Whit I've reckoned.


The English language must be tough,
At least, that's what I've reckoned,
For it is still alive to-day
Though murdered every second.
New York Truth.
Modern slang: I1e-I am doing to
kiss you. She-Wcil, II lille that!-Town
Topics.
He-Well, your sister is married. Now
it's your turn. She-Oh, George! ask
papa.-New York Journal.
Tourist-Are We near the falls? Guide
Yes, sir. AS soon as the ladies stop
talking you can hear the YORKTOWN
| Topics.
81 don't see your mistletoe," said he,
glancing up at the chandelier. us 1t
really necessary" replied she archly.
1t wasn't.-Judge.
els your picture in the academy n sue.
cessY' That's what 1 am wondering.
Some one said it was worth the price
of admission."-Punch.
He-Jones is all right, I suppose, but
he and l do not like each other q bit.
She-Well, that is much to the credit
of both of you.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Amateur Humorist-That's a pretty
good joke of mine; don't you think SO?
Experienced Editor-Well, 1t is just as
funny now as it ever was.-Somerville
Journal.
Jinks-What tender are your wife
takes Of you. Always worrying about
your health. ~Blinks-Yes; l have my
life insured in favor of my sister,
New York Weekly.
Brown-I wonder who originated the
idea that it is unlucky to begin anything
on Friday? ENTHUSIASTICALLY it was
some lazy individual who preferred to
wait until Saturday.-Puck.
you don't mean to say you became
engaged to him after but five hours &C.
quaintancey" Certainly. How much
time would you have me devote to one
engagement y~'-Brooklyn Life.
Bobby-1s oxygen what the oxen
breathe all day? Papa-Of course, and
what everything else breathes. Bobby
And is nitrogen what every one
breathes ut night?-New York World.
This world is but a flecting show,
And few are they, alas!
Who can rake up a pull that's strong
Enough for a free pass.
Indianapolis Journal.
"Those Eskimos up in Alaska have
good. sound common sense" 'How so?'
why, when they fall in love with a
girl they announce it by sending her a
sealskin sacque."-Chicago Record.
She-1 presume the country editors
pathway is not strewn with flowers!
He pleasantly)-No, not exactly; but
we stumble on a bushel of potatoes &C.
casionally, or a cord of wood.-Detroit
Tribune.
Sister-There, you have candy all over
your new suit! What will mamma
say? Little Brother-Well, mamma
Won't let me have any fun in these
clothes till l got 'em spoiled.-Boston
Traveller.
Ragged Reuben-1t's dis yere import.
ed pauper labor OATS ruinin' oil our
prospects. Tattered Jimmy Sure
huff! Desc European noblemen are
comm over here and snatchin' the pick
of our 'Merican girls!-Bazar.
First Horse-Well, they took poor old
Dobbin to the slaughter-house to-day.
Second Horse-That's too bad. First
Horse-It is bad, but worse remains
They mean to make his hide into bi'
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
ANY snakes in this neighborhoodT'
asked the Northern visitor. Its cord
in to what you want" replied the
moonlight manipulation; "a pint might
fetch 'em, but we give n guarantee
with every quart."-Atlanta Constitu'
ton.
what l want" said the lawyer, sis
to prove that my client is mentally de
ficient." Certainly" replied the ex
pert. 'There won't he the least trouble
in showing that, so long Us he has EN-
liployed you as his lawycr."-Washing
ton Star.
Toughmug-Chimmie wot has be
came Of Dippy Pete lately? Chimmie
de Sport-Well, you see, he got to dom
everybody he could, and now Tough
mug-Well? Chimmie, de Sport-He's
dom time!-Cincinnati Commercial,
Tribune.
Timmins-This talk about the type
writer being a drawback to genius Il
all rot. l do all of my poems with
Typewriter. Simmons-You do? ha6
an idea that you made them with a SCI
of rubber stamps.-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
81 shall have to learn how to play the
flute" said Maud, as she watched the
flutist in the hotel orchestra; 'see how
gracefully he hold is it. If l could hold
an a Of corn as gracefully as he hold:
that flute l should not be afraid to ea1
it off the cob."-Bazar.
Prof. lecturing)-Oxygcn, gentlemen
Is essential t all animal existence
there could be no life without it
strange to say, 1t was not discovered
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