Macon beacon. [volume] (Macon, Miss.) 1859-1995, 1897-08-14
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
II ABEL, y
Hubby AND THE RAM.
~~~~~-
The Story a Backwoods Landlord
Can't Help Telling.
1" ONCE l was passing through the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

Pennsylvania hemlock belt" said Johr
Gilbert, the travelling groceryman, "anC
stopped at the tavern there. The only
man | saw at first was a jolly-looking
red-faced little old man, on whom care
or sorrow seemed TO have never laid c
finger.
Zine day l said, getting off my
blackboard.
"'P'tic'lar fine an cheerful the little
old man said. 4 hain't see a cheerfulleI
day in 40 year an better
Then he went down the road whist.
ling. ! was gazing after him yet when
some one said;
Its a leetle queer that Uncle ABE
went away without waitin' TO see
whether you want goin' to buy sumpin'
an asst him in; but he's feelin' over
powerin' glib to-day. an mebbe thought
nothin' could make him feel any bet
ter
This speaker, as | saw when turned
TO look, was tall and slim and lanky,
and was whiting a stick. He had come
from the barn, and, as | found, was the
landlord. | walked in.
Yes said the lanky man, Uncle
Abel is feelin' oyerpowerin glib to-day.
You wouldn't take him to be a lone an
lorn widderer, which the pardner of his
bosom was only laid away y~iste'day,
now, would your
81 had to admit that the old gentle
man was a tritle clipper and cheerful
for one so recently bereaved.
YES the landlord went en-, Aunt
Huldy's left Uncle Abel at last. 1t was
sort of an accident like, though. |
don't think she ever would although O.
doin' of it, cause Uncle Abel was four
that Aunt Hubby had handled, an she
had wore black bombazine fer three on
''em, an it was jest as good as ever, that
black bombazine was, an there amt no
kind o doubt that she had i stiff idee
q wcarin' it fer Uncle Abel, an meb-
he fer somebody that had the courage to
be No. 5. You see, Uncle Abel is the
harmlessest man that ever sot round,
an Aunt Huldy's disposition was sot
sumpin' like o cross-cut saw, an when
sne got to moyin' she wal a ripper. How
would ONE fresh tansy scrunched in d
glass and moistened with about three
fingers o : J'maky rum strike you?'
81 was willing to risk it, and the lanky
but garrulous landlord scrunched the
tansy and moistened it per recipe.
Eyes, SIR he went on, having
~scrunched and yloistened for himself
also, and taken pay for both. Aunt
Hubby was a ripper when she got to
movin', and the trouble was she was
moyin' most O the time. I've knowed
Uncle Abel to roost in an apple tree on
his clearin' all night, waitiu' for Aunt
Hubby to quiet down, an I've heerd him
say, more'n wunst, that it was a good
thing he'd been kicked in the head by 4
mule wunst and got over it, or he'd be
afeared o the consckences ii Aunt Hull
dy got to moyin'.
AUNT Hubby she was tremendous
sot ag'in Uncle Abel goin' ishin'. an
Uncle Abel he'd ruther go fshin' than
TO the circus. Last week he couldn't
hold out no longer, and he went over
to Ben Runnels' pond to troll for pick
erl. The fact is, though, that the pond
amt Ben Runnels, cause there AIM
no setch person as Ben Runnels, nor
hain't ben this 20 year an better, an
when there NNug u Rar pt1a,al. L. II ! =. I
the pond. The last day there ever
was a Ben Runnels he went ishin' on
that pond. If the fshin' hadn't ben an
uncommon good that day Ben mowt be
with us yit. Ben had half a pint O. fist,
worms with him in an old tomattus
can, an half a gallon O. worm O. the
still in a jug. This was for exhilaratin'
purposes. Ben alluz exhilarated arter
ketchin' a fish, but the fish bit so fast
that day that they KEEP Ben buster than
usual ~exhilaratin', so that when folks
went to see what was the reason Ben
didn't git home that day, an found the
boat upset an Ben an the jug f%ioatip'
in the pond, there was less than two
little jiggers of exhilaration left in tn.
jug, but there was more than five gal.
len O water in Ben. 1t wasn't drown.
din that killed Ben, some folks thought
They said il was the sudden wasbin, NJ
all the exhilaration outen him by 20
much water gittin' inter him that lone
it, Ben not bein' used to setch over
powerin' disappointment. An that's
the way Ben got the title to that pond
an it's ben called Ben Runnels' pond
ever sence.
well, there's where Uncle Abel went
fshin', spite O Aunt Huldy's warnin's.
an when he got back | don't s'pose that
Aunt Hubby ever moved so rippin'i in her
life. All that Uncle Abel has ever said
about it is that she jest swatted him
over, an then sot on him till she peeled
what Uncle Abel says must a ben
more'n a bushel O. taters. Aunt Huldv
weighed in the vicinity O. 200 pound.
an every time Uncle Abel wiggled she'd
scrunch down on him. An speakin' n
sc~runchin', there's a lot more tanzv.
shell l.
Il interrupted the landlord to saw
that didn't care for any more, and he
seemed so much disappointed and re.
manned silent SO long that | began to
think that | wasn't going TO hear the
? OF his story. but by and by he
started in again.
"'Yes, sir, she scrunched down on
him hard, Aunt Hulda did. She
scrunched down so fur arter awhile
that Uncle Abel says he got bis ewes
on the shinin' shore, an was bonin,
that Aunt Hubby would give him an.
other twist SOS he could get his feet
on Y; but she want through with him
UT. TN didn't let him pas. over. There !
where Aunt Huldy made her mistake
she ought TO scrunched Uncle Abel M
the way over, an then she could d tour F.,
~ hat black bombazine agln a. ,
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