The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-12-19
PLAIN TRUTH FOR yALETUDINARY.


MY DEAR vALErUDINARY thus address you.
not because you are not sound in wind and limb
and Of a sane mind. but because this title APP
plies to you as a golfer. Who takes care Of his
game as do youi Who wraps MP his defeats in
80 many excuses as do youi Who goes playing
over the links alone. rather than run the risk Of
a game with an opponent who may beat him
and tell the tale at tho club7 Who so free with
choice bits of information as to when you beat
McSwat, and how 1t was that Slasher happened
to beat you. as are you Z Who more ready to con-
cede that his particular opponent at the tourna.
ment played the best game of the day than you :
And then those other DAYS when YOU are "off my
game" days when you sat up reading too late
the night before. days when you broke the only
driver" you had in your bag, days when it was
so hot you could not play your game" days
when you had been 80 busy Of late" that you
were worn out. all those days too numerous to
recall. or course l quite understand that 1
am not of the same golfng clay as are you. I
play with anybody who turns up. and I win and
lose my matches with amiable indifference. for
to tell you the truth I would rather be a man
golfer. and lot the youngsters beat me OCCASION
ally. than a baby golfer to be nursed to victory
by constant care. to be Graded in defeat by silly
excuses.
Really my dear Val. you take the thing either
too seriously or two Silly. You are Just the type
, Of man to make the game contemplate in the
eyes of wise men. We all know just about
where you belong in tho lists of golfers. You
cannot make us believe that you are in the very
first flight. We have played with you. we have
seen you play. and we have watched your record
No hazy atmosphere OF self.excusing mystery
snrrounds you; We see through your excuses.
they are just as had FOR your opponent who
beats, you. My dear Val: We make excuses
p pis%snsary 'G sleasns Of Il the IS game psns OF When She s oae
has had a bite to eat and a bottle. of ale to drink
the personal factor begins to revive. AS we feel
now, we cannot understand how we were beaten
then Hence our post.prandial discourse natu.
rally drifts into explanations, excuses, and per.
seriously in these talks. It is just a little play
of the imagination. that's all. a sort of vocal
ali over. and we have lost. We are revived by
meat and drink after .r the strain of the match
sion Of that %faSltiess same that we might have
played. or ought to have played. and probably
But somehow with you it is different. Golf
is not a pleasure with you. 1t is a disease. You
are like a man with a weak heart. or dyspepsia,
a golfer. as other men watch over one or an.
other of their organs, which is out Of order.
con ider your inferior is like a shock to a bar.
alytic, and you look upon 1t as almost as seri'
H Hos g d GendainfiS are the H eons @9se SSa are a Ssle thiek
mulied over and coddled the grievance. The
am not sure that You would not rather sulk
and make excuses in defeat than to look pleas
ant and be cheerful after a victory: Really 70
an air Of:
Here / and sorrows sit;
Here is my throne. bid kings come bow to Il.
would be tragic were it not 80 absurd.
As l wrote Slasher, we are no chickens now
s adere u is f Il % not th sf inst fesTes 90 ON s the tse Sn Sp f an,
rate as more sapless and less green than they
dear Val. you should take that into considera
ton. We owe something in the way of exam
my boy gets licked, but I care very much about
how he takes Il; and ! should be very sorry indeed
to find him incl. ned to nope and sulk and excuse
himself. Ihave taken a good muny lickings in m,
day. some or them yerglng on the tragic order. al
course, but nobody has heard me whine. I an
writing to you IN the greatest good humor. nnt
rs you beat me three matches out OF four tina
q golf r; but, as an old friend OF yours. dislik,
to hear the rather contemptpous remarks which
baby act" l have heard men say that the,
would not play with you. so needless are you o
where you are likely to be defeated / ever
around the fire in the smoking room;
Il have lust seen = poem that old vaietudi
nary aW HsaEnis IS Il i F. Was asked.
"Snmusl invlor Coleridge's ,Toa Young Ass
l = mother Deins sethered near II.
probably. But the general satisfaction shown
by all present at this sally, even though you arr
not exactly n young ass any more, proved to IN,
that YOU are fast getting a reputation as be
longing to that class of animal deserted b,
Disraeli as having no pride OF ancestry and M
hope oil posterity. Now. don't be a mule, or M
ass, either, any longer. valetudinary. Yol
will never be amateur champion. and a
these young fellows come on YOU will
be- more and more lost In the crowd Of golhnl
mediocrities. 1t may DO dIsagrceable to you Il
settle down to this condition of things. hut W,
all have 10 do disagreeable things occasionally
You must take your annoyances like the rest o
porters. into The belief that you are a ,grea
golfer, but yon can't fool all the people all tn
time. Come to see us somo day next week an.
We will have a round here. The course is no
had even now. aad II va can get In agame befor
the ground freezes VIC may huye good sport.
am, my dear Val. tout a tot, O. +. BoGIE, Jr.
THE BUNKERs, Dec. "A. 1897.
To A; v~ALETgDISARY Esq., The Sorrows. Nor
rlstown. VI.