New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-11-12
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

An English paper tells OF a clergyman who had
two curates. with the older OF whom he at
swords points On being appointed TO another
hVihg, he decided to take with him the younger
curate, whom he liked, and when he came to preach
MS farewell sermon he chose hls text. "Abi1e ye
mere with the ass, and and the lad will go yonder
and worship"
-, Impossible in His Case.-fIungry Hggins-I see
the paper says oughnt to never begin a Journey
before breakfast
:, Weary WetkIns-Does it have any advice for us
eiokes that has to make journey 10 find the break
fast'-Undlanapolis journal.
Lovemaking in the Western metropolis according
TO The Chicago News':
I'm plain everyday business man." said Merritt.
and am nothing II not practical Miss Wisely
will you be my wife,"
Il admire your frankness Mr. Merritt" replied
the fair object OF his affections because am in
cllned TO be rather matter OF fact myself How
much are you worth"
Not Seth This Tlme.-"It is said that Boss
Cookers son IS an expert football player"
OF course he tackles low."-(Cleveland Plain
Dealer
"Harpers BaZar' says that In certain girls
college twenty red-haired undergraduates recently
gave "red-headed dinner" The red-hared dam
sells. all strawberry blondes OF course white
dresses, with red sashes, flowers and badges; the
table decorations red roses and red satin rib
bons, with red candles and shades TO match; the
menu cards were red, each one bearing the design
OF white horse. The soup was PURGE OF tomato;
tho fish, samon and the dishes all followed the
color as far as possible. The affair was a great
success. and the following morning, by permission
OF the faculty, the "red-heads'' marched into the
chapel in a body and sat In the front seats and
after prayers saued tho president and marched
out again In solemn procession.
Tho Philosopher and the sconer-'"Tell me what
and /
Rats" shouted the scoYer
"Ah. Chinese, beyond peradventure "-(Cincinnau
Enquirer
This is how two musical girls OF Washington
talked tho other day, according TO The Star" OF
that city:
Il suppose classical music is all right in Its place."
said Maud.
I'm It is." replied Mamie
II don't care TO listen 10 II myself but sometimes
you have to play It in order to get man to go
home"
Stranger In Arkansas So the poor fellow swore
that no didn't steal tho horse, and after you'd
lynched him you found out he'd told the truth
storekceper-Yes: and the Coroner was right
smart puzzled for spell wh%t Kind Of verdict to
the truth" and let IT 90 at that-tJudge,
In speaking OF his recent visit TO England Bishop
Nelson. Of Georgia. says:
Il the naval review which was really very
fine An EngiIshman said 10 me: What do you
think OF our navy? Why. Il is Splendid re-
piled.
We'll. do you think We could do anything In
case OF war with the United S,ates%
But there is not going TO be any war; re-
piled
Yes; but II there should be? Oh. you know we
could whip you
Wei. suppose you could rejoined You
know you did 1t In l,I6. and then whipped US fear
fully In 1872 so suppose you could do Il now
Il did not hear anything more from him"
II know" sald the somewhat irresponsible friend
'that you don't believe I'm signs in the ordinary
sens" BUT don't you sometimes find yourself IN
circumstances which cause presentiments OF evll?"
YES. every time some people ask me for IL loan
fee az IL were going 20 lose money. "-(Washing-