New-York tribune., 1897-08-29
THE FARMER HAD THE FUN.
A LOVESICK YOUTHS ATTEMPT AT
JOKE TURNED AGAINST HIM

Every man has to take his own lessons in ac-
quiring the art OF understanding the ways OK
women Kipngs poem in which he winds up
several verses explaining some adventure with
a woman with the lines II learned about women
from her" conveys the idea that women are
widely different in their ways and the e"peri-
ence Of many men has led them to indorse Mt
Kiplings views in this matter. The last recruit
| to this Kipling cult is a somewhat bashfu young
man who has just returned from his vacation.
passed at the seashore. and who receives letter
! daily and writes one daily-but that is the story
that is to be explained.
This young man is attractive in a way, hut
his natural ability is screened behind a OF
modesty and he is decidedly diflldent He went
on his vacation with the idea Of getting rest
and nduging in surf baths. When he arri'ed
at the hotel at the seaside resort he found
he was about the only eligible young man in
the place, and there was a large and attractive
array of young women yearning for masculine
| company. Under this benign condition of affairs
his difTidence off to a certain extent ana
ne played the part Of gallant most acceptably.
| OF all the girls in the hotel. however, his fancy
settled one-and his attentions to her were
most noticeable. The girl was charming in
every way. and had that dangerous virtue or
being sympathetic. Where wstful eyes. classic
features and superb form have failed very citen
sympathetic air and a pretty interest have
accomplished the overthrow of the masculine
equilibrium.
After a week the young man was in love- IN
ten days he wildly in love and at the END
of the two weeks he in the superlative
condition Of love- however that may be ex-
pressed The only trouble was that with this
new-fourd feeling all the old difdence came
,,,ll m
sufficiently to make an avowal. The last day
of his stay he invited this sympathetic maiden
to take a drive. 50 that he could properly say
goodby and go over a thousand and one things
that her sympathetic nature would understand
and approve. The drive was delightful one
and lasted longer than originally planned Con-
/ vcrsati1n Jagged after time. and both ieii
into a fit OF deep thinking. Finally. the couple
caught up to a farm wagon which had been
carving produce into the village. The horse
was driven by sharp-faced farmer lad, ana
at his side on the seat squatted about as ugly
q brind!, dog as any one could find in a days
walk The young man awakened from his leth-
argv and said bravely: Watch me have some
fun with this farmer" The girl glad of any
diversion looked Interested. and the young .aan
turned to the boy and said laconi'ay:
Fine dog you got there"
"Yep' wa; the equally laconic response.
What breed?' was the next query
Bull was the lstless answer as he Toy
neckcd a fly off the horses ear with the lash
OF his whip
"Wel s.e here" said the other. I'D Ike to
have that dog. What will you take for him?
Don't want ter SELL grunted the farmer
"Oh, cone. my good man. That is an C>oep-
tionally valuable dog. I would like to get lin
to put in the dog show in NewYork. I'll bet he
would cause a commoton." and here he winked
at the girl The farmer the wink. hut he
never made a motion. He seemed to Ice in deep
thought and then he said laboriou5ly:
We'll stranger ef you want this pup so bad
I'll tell you how to get it. II you'll throw yer
arms aro, nd that gals neck and give fer a
whacking kiss I'll give you the dog"
The young man blushed scarlet. He lashed
his horse savagely with the whip and soon the
farmer was lost in the cloud of dust whrled
I'D behind When the danger point was passed
the horse slowed down to walk again, ! ut
conversation had fled After long silence the
girl spoke up family:
IF was sure here she punched Vaguely
at spots in the bottom Of the cart with her para
SOL and her eyes which had a wstful look were
turned away that you really and truly wanted
| that dog -and-and'-