The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1897-09-18

he searched the substitutes clothes, ind
ing the Keys necessary to open the Of
flee. To his great surprise less than an
hour afterWard his substitute told him
that his clothes lad been relieved OF S2S.
The agent explained having taken the
keys in order 10 open the Office In time
To sell tickets tT the early train, and
was more paine1 10 hear OF the loss
than his friend or course ms FRIEND
didn't believe r. took the money; In
fact, didn't care a great deal unuer the
nccuInr no SAT he least, and especially
Worrying 10 the gent, who had search
"a bis friends Iothes. Aud as he put
n later ,n Inc ny: II can't tell what
ioy /, brought @ when l heard the
thief confess"
The man who 1ok the money from
the boardlng no So. Fenskl, Is now in
Moundsyllle. aw ting the action OF the
next term OF cou
Then the saul a on the throne, mon
arch of all he surveyed, had his little
say, After quoting the oft-quoted e%-
preston, Its better to let dozen
guilty men go than hang one innocent"
the look In his eyes gave way 10 a hui
mOrous twinkle. following Il up with
the recital Of less g,oomy yarns Hls
friend, Michael McKim was Just start
ing out on his career as lawyer ana
his first client proved, like himself to
have just seen the llght of day, on tho
Emerald isle She wa not quarrel'
some woman. but her nelghbor's chill
dren had greatly annoyed NJ oy wad"
Ing with their little "TIllDys' Ia the
spring, with which her garden was
blessed Despite her pleas and threats,
the children managed to set their feet
into t. muddylng the w9inr so l. could
not be used for hours afierward In her
plight she sought the I'D o. Lawyer
| MeKim
81 want yez to rade the riot act she
inquired, "agin these kids playln' in the
spring. bad cess to thin"
Faith, an I'll attind 10 II, Mrs, Ma
hone; come back agin to-morry"
Injunctions were not SO popuia In
those days, continued the genial squire,
and AR McTSim, upon the following day
after 70 asacking his library, We forced
to convey the dismal news to Mrs. Ma
hone, "fhat there was no law asin the
kids playln' In the spring, any more
than playIn' In the fall"
Just before closing up, one Of the lis
teners IN the justice shop Who lives out
the pike, feeling Il his duty to keep in
line. acknowledged his ignorance of pc
cuiar crimes and trials, but he put In
his oar. nevertheless; dipping back into
| his memory and dashing up the famous
debate that occurred In Elm Grove, Il
few winters ago, with colored folks pro
| and con.
Debating Is second cousin to law
hence his effort was not out of place in
the general conversation. The debate In
question was the hottest on the stump,
that Elm Grove had ever witnessed. II
took place Ia the colored church, which
was packed to suffocation. During the
fall and early winter such questions as
"Woman's Rights" pen and the
Sword" ETC.. ETC.. has been fought with
comparative calmness, but the question
before the house this cold mid winter
night warmed the stove. 1t was in eff.
feet whether a man should rescue his
wife or mother from DEATH In case he
had chapce to rescue only one OF
them. The wifes side was stoutly up
held by General" Andrew Jackson,
while Ed. Duncan was color bearer for
the mother.
Each had an assistant dehater, and as
the debate progressed excitement rose
to fever heat, Jackson made splendid
argument for the wife, bringing cheers
from the audience. but the applause
vouchsafed to Duncan, champion OF the
mother shook the old building more so
than the December wind Then they
brought on their assistants, who cited
the virtues Of wives and mothers, fav-
orably and otherwise. Anon the dusky
| dehaters got tangled up, Juggling In the
mother-in-law as an issue, In which, OF
course, she got the worst Of II. As the
end drew near the Jackson men we're
| hopeful of victory. The wife seemed to
have the better OF It, but Duncan's clos
ing argument was a masterpiece 1t had
| great weight with the judges, who gave
him the decision They used his point,
| which was that II man was In i boat
with his wife and mother, he should
save the mother II the boat capsiSed.
because he could get another wife, but
only one mother
The friends OF sturdy German "hps-
tier" In a Main street wholesale house,
arc telling good story on him, which
may have occurred recently or more
previously; so TO speak. H scr any
other old name-needed some hay. oats
and other produce. which the proprie.
tor told him to order through the tele-
phone This course of action was not
conUenlal to he of the Tenton blood, as
upon all former occasions he had diff
Guilty with telephone conversation. it
seeming as though both ends couldn't
meet upon n common plane OF under
standing, Maybe II was Hans fault. as
his German was better than mis- English,
but like others he probably would say
in answer to relative question: How
you vas know I'm Dutch?"
At any rate, he tackled the telephone,
and central" connected him with the
| produce man. To the latter after some
| gFf. 4. l.