The times., 1897-07-18
SQUAN CREEK FOLKS.

anu ahh Neaisih
names IL was agreed TO open one and see
how things would pan out. solomon Jackson
seemed 20 hit things about righ5 hen he
said:
.sEddecashun is fur them as don't know
huff to flirt clam outer the SAND wiGhthar
toes. If we knowed as much as Shakes
peG re It wculdn't help us to ketch any mo
Iobst ers.
The skule started off with thirty Scoi-
airs and a woman teacherfrom Philadelphia
Nobody talked TO her before she opened biz
ness, and so she went ahead in the reg iaI
way. 1t was just two days when A6saiom
Thompson come down to the wharf lookln'
mighty excited and when he could git mis-
breath. he says:
Boys, what dye 'spose has happened?
I'll be goshed to Goshen ii that school
tnaa hain't gone in to bust the coluInu-
nifty This AFTERNOON she told all her schol-
ars that the arith was as round as ball. "
II can't believe it," says Josephus Hdr-
mon.
shed never dare TO do it," says Joe
Taylor.
Ibid ever hear the likes OF THAR says
says phineas Green.
Fut it turned out that she had said so,
and, moreover, when a committee was ap-
p'inted to go and see her about it She held
up her Cain and declar'd tEat 1t was SO.
Then we called an indgnasi;un meetin
to see what should be done. When the
meetin' was ready fur bizacss Plato White
got up and says:
II know thar's hills and hollers on this
airth, fur I've seen some OF 'em myself,
but outside o. them the world is as flat
as my ole wallet, and an y5ody as says diff
ferent does it to pick fuss
I'm with Plato," says Harrison Pom
eroy as he gifts up. That time was bowed
out to sea and picked up by an Engllshnan
and carried TO Liverpool. l found nuthln
hut flatness fur the hull 5000 miles. III
the world had bin round we'd hev either
gone up or gone down hill. l felt In iny
bones Jest how it would be, and now Its
come. The idea o. that gal comm here TO
talk sich stuff and nonsense To folks as heN
bin ketchiu' crabs and Holsters fur the last
hundred y'ars!"
Three or four others foilered in the same
strain, and then the preacher got up and
pretty nigh took the roof Off the buildm
by decIarn' that the gal was right. lie
brung in a globe TO prove it, and he ptnted
to sails IN the ocean TO back up the globe
He run agin a mudbank, however. He
nintcd a nd talked and talked and pinted, but
nobody would believe him. BirGe by he got
tired and said he didn't Reer whether we
believed or not, and we passed a reSolUshun
that the gal shouldu' teach any more Sich
stuff to our children IL he wanted TO keep
her lob. Things went along all right fur a
week or so, and some of the children had
got so they could tell the pictur of
kangaroo from that of Il church stcenle.
when the skule am broke loose agin
She told the children that the airth moved
around the sun and before dark Squan
Creek was biEn' over with Excitement. 1t
was wuss than when we got the n wS that
p. T. Barnum's five legged colt WAS dead.
We called another ignashun Tie etiu that
night, and Tim Smith got up and said:
AR this heresy or seditinu ar what!
Ever since Columbus diskivered this
North Ameriky, with Moo Jersey aud Squan
Creek IncIooded. the sun hev bin movin'
from SQuan Creek Pint around to Seven
Feet Inlet Our grandfathers saw IT, our
fathers saw it, and If we haint seen IL,
then VIC must be blind. She S moved
every day OF her life, and the aiFth halnt
had nuthin' to DO with it, but along comes
gal from Philadelphia that don KHo"
an oyster he'd from a iib-topSall, ana says
the sun has bin standin still all this time!
1 was purity nigh knocked out when she de-
clar d alsin the flatness OF the a'rth, but
this thing finistes me. / cant low my
son Jonas 10 tend that s6ule no more.
With sch teaCldn's as that he wouldn't
know nuff to bait a fish-hook next y ar.
Tim Smith sot down amidst the awfulleSt
sort Of applause, and then solomon Tomp-
kins got up and said
we ar told this airth do move When
has she moved? Every man OF US here
tonight was born in Squan Greek, and
did any of us ever know this town to
move up to New ork or down 10 Rar-
nagat? Has the wharf or the lighthouses
moved? Amt ever ything Standin' Jest
whar' it was fifty vars ago? As to the
sun standin' still, if my ole woman should
tell me that L should hev ller locked
UP fur ali idiot. She's bin moyin ever
| since the wheels of time was set IN mo
| shun, and she'll keep right on mOyin'
| when Squan Creek has bin forgotten
| I've got a boy named Thomas what is
| attendin' that skule- He's a good hey,
| and he'll find clam under two feet Of
/ mud. RutbeV than hev that boy split III
| sell cut and move away"
| Solomon also got lots of applause, ana
| then we sent fuI the teacher to explain
| matters She showed up, and she was
| powerful sassy about it. she stuck 10 1T
| that the sun stood still and airth moved
! and she talked and talked to prove it,
| and the preacher backed her up We
| knowed we couldn't be mistooken about
| it. but arter iawin' fur a couple o hours
| we agreed to try her fur a week longe
We voted to do it, and it was a clus vote
| and otter bin warnin' to her, but it WASH t
1t wasn't over four days when Abner
| Whites hoy corrected his father fur sayin
| -.Chewsday' The old man got arter
| him, and the boy owned up that the teacher
| had told him to allus call it Tuesday"
| That was the last ha'r that broke the
| camel's hack Abner went out on the street
and blowed his fish horn and got the town
| out fur another indignashun meetin', and
| this time thar wasn't to be no foolin
| about things. He gifts up and he says:
Fur the last 200 vars Squau Greek
| folks hev been calm the third day OF the
week Chewsday. The name has bin gooo
huff fur the best OF us, till that gal cum
here from PhiIadelphia. All of a suddeI
| she pops in and tells our children to call Il
| Tuesday, and as m helpin' my boy jim
to fish and taterS tonight at supper time h
stands up and corrects me. Kin YOU i'm
| agine the feelin's of father when iIe's tolC
by his son that thar's no sich word
Chew sday, and that that father has bi
| wrong all his lifei I'm one as says tina
skule must go. II that gal keeps ON Will
her ways Squan Greek won't market I
single lobster next var"