Vermont phÅ“nix. [volume] (Brattleboro, Vt.) 1834-1955, 1897-12-10
A MONTANA DIVORCE SUIT,
By w. J. Aldrich.

n.
"Nou saw that tall chap standing on
the rear platform of the express when
she went through here this morning."
said the Jericho station master. He's
the Athensville Baptist preacher. and
he's on his way to Chicago to give his
testimony i'll the great divorce suit.
What! | never told you about any di-
yorce suit? Well, you surprise me, for
that there divorce suit is Just the big
gest thing of the kind we have ever had
in this section of the country.
That Baptist preacher hasn't any
thing to do with it except to swear that
he married the plaintiff and the defend
ant, There's nothing crooked about the
Rev. Mr.. Humphreys. He's as good as
they make 'em, though l say it myself,
and | don t think much of BaptiSts as
general thing, having been brought up
Methodist, though 1 resigned from
them when l was made conductor,
which is berth that man can't do
anything with unless he can swear "a
blue streak when the occasion arises.
This hyer preacher took charge of
the Athensville Baptist church matter
Of five years ago, and, being wonderful
man for managing church and max
ing 1t attractive to the general public,
il wasn't long before he had the largest
congregation of any preacher i'll the
place. The Presbyterian minister felt
that he had to do something to main
tain his position, so he preached Sc
Ties Of sermons on baptism, proving, as
be thought, that sprinkling was the on
" authorized way of baptism, and that
immersion was all mistake. In one of
his sermons he made a pretty good
point by showing that OH one occasion
John the Baptist baptized so many peo-
pie in the course of a day that he must
have averaged three to the minute.
This, the preacher claimed, would have
been impossible if he had done it in any
other way than by sprinkling. Mr..
humphreys only laughed when they
told him about this sermon and said,
Just wait till we have our regular
spring baptizing season. So the next
spIlng, when there were about 40 peo-
pie young and old waiting to join the
Baptists, Mr.. Humphreys, he takes the
vhole lot down to the creek and i'm
1erses every one of them in less than
ten minutes, breaking the record and
BEATING John the Baptist's best time.
This made him more popular than ever,
and that year the people built him a
new church twice as big as the old one.
1t stands ON the hill about a mile out
Of Athensville, for when it was built it
was cal lated that the town would grow
in that direction, which somehow it
hasn't done.
Il tell this just to show what an en-
terprising man the parson was He in
sisted OH having the tallest steeple to
his new church that could be found
anywhere in Montana territory, and
b'gosh he got it. People used to come
from miles away to climb up i'll that
steeple and see the view. There wasn't
any view to speak of, the country being
too hilly in those parts to have much
scenery, but for all that people were anx-
ious to say that they had been to the
top Of the steeple.
There was an old maid in Mr..
Humphreys congregation who was
more determined to get married than
any woman you ever saw. She was one
Of those thin, persevering looking wo-
men, and mighty dangerous sort they
are Miss Payson, which was this lady,
name was bound to marry young mar
by the name of Halsey, who had never
done her any harm and was about a.
sensible and well behaved chap IA
there was in all Athensville. OF course
he didn't have the least idea of marry
ing the woman, but he was one OF thos'
good tempered chaps that are Away
afraid to say no when a woman ask
them to do anything. Good temper Il
the ruin of lots of folks. It's kept mi
down. know that If I'd been one o
these crusty, rampageous fellows tina
never do a kind action if they can hell
It, l should have been superintendent
Of this road instead of being only sta
ton master at one of the smallest sta
tons in the territory. Never you be to-
coed tempered. OF the two 1t ruin
more men than whisky.
Zone day Miss Payson she gets youh
Halsey to take her up in the steepIe O
the Baptist church. You see, visitor
were always going up that steeple De
tween the hours Of 10 and D, durln
which the sexton staid at the church |
attend to things and see that the;
conducted themselves as they should
AT o'clock he locked up the door tina
led to the steeple, and then he locke
up the church door and went home 10
the night.
Miss Payson and her young ma
went up the steeple about 3 O'CLOCK
the afternoon, but she said she enJoye
1t so much that Halsey was preyalle
upon to stay there with her good det
later than he had intended to stay. On
kept him pointing out all the houses
The town and every hill and valley
The whole neighborhood, and when 81
hnally asked him to look at his Watc
and tell her the time she was, as 81
pretended, dreadfully alarmed 10 III
mat it was half past B. Halsey "a
down the stairs and found that the doo
was locked and nobody was withl
hearing. The sexton had forgotten th'
there was any one up the steeple an
mad locked up and gone home at
oclock, as usual. Halsey came back al
'old Miss Payson, who burst into TEA
and said that her reputation was ruii
Gu She and Halsey would have
spend the night in the steeple unless
An Was Willinp, 10 Snran ont Of the WlnQO