The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-09-11
THE GEORGIA HUMORIST
sARToW PHILOSOPHER. REGISTERS A
LARGE, HEALTHY KICK.
Much Water, But Little Light--fIot Wealth.
err of the Past Month Reminds Him OF
the Prediction that the World is Drying
Up---Other Interes ing Talk.

wonder If there is town or city
in the world whose gaslight and water
works satisfy the people. ] know that
it is chronic to complain OF corpora
tions. but I am obliged to consider
myself an injured person. Almost
every night / have to go down town
to helpnurse and comfort little sick
child who is very dear to me, and
although the street has gaslight, /
collide with something or somebody
or fall into ditch every dark night l
travel. / ran against big fat negro
woman the other nil ht, and she used
disrespectful language at me. Last
night 1 had in my hand bucket OF
blackberries that my daughter gave |
me, and / fell over stepping stone |
and spilled them all and skinned my
aged shins and dropped my cane, and
it took me some time to findit I've
O good notion to bring suit for damages
and have receiver appointed. That
so-called gaslight does not throw its
effulgent rays hundred feet, and is
not lighted more than half the time,
and now that lightning bugs have
come again, 1 think the company
ought to catch some and put them IN
a bottle and do away with the gas.
But 1 don't see any sense in having
gas with the lamp posts quarter of, "a
mile apart. We don't want to carry
lanterns and pay for gas, too. That's
all I have got to say about this gas
business, and my folks have limited
that the fault is more in my eyes and
my legs than in the dim, religious
light, but know better. [ am not on
the superannuated list by q good deal.
1 work every day in my garden and
get all in sweat of perspiration, and
then clean up and feel good and hon
est. The long drought hurt me pretty
bad, but the garden survived it. and
now we have vegetables abundant.
| The waterworks man never caught me
stealing more than my share of water
but once, and he didn't make much
fuss about it. He is very con-
siderate man. Up north the COM
panies put meters at every Gus
TONER'S residence, and he pays for
what he uses, but we have got more
water here than the town can use, and
don't have to be stingy. What o
blessed thing it isl Water, plenty OF
water Water in the kitchen and at
the back door and in the front yard
and the garden, beside bathtub
upstairs and downstairs. Pure water,
fresh from big spring that gushes
from the hillside. No river nor pond
nor reservoir nor filtering machines
nor microbes nor bacilli. No well
rope to break nor Windlass to get
loose and knock one of the children IN
the head. No cleaning out and finding
dead chickens that we had been drink.
ing on. The fact is, 1 never knew the
: comfort of water, abundant water, I'M
til we planted our waterworks In Car
D tersville. Strange to say, they never
came until we abolished whisky-tha'
, is, the saloons. A great English poet
: and iurist says: "Its cool refreshmen'
!. drained by fevered lips gives pleasure
!, more exquisite than nectarean juice,
and Coleridge's sum Of human agony
was to have
"Water, water everywhere,
But not a drop to drink"
During the late long heated term il
June it was alarming dread from tn
: weather bureau that the world wa
slowly but surely drying up, and tn
= rainfall was decreasing every year
What an awful calamity is to come t
somebody some timel God grant tina
it may not come in our day, nor GU
children's nor children's children
, God grant that it may not come at all
But the scriptures do say that thl
s ,,orld shall be burned up, and hear
r Professor Proctor, the great astronc
: mer. deliver lecture on the "BirtE
Growth, Maturity, Decay and Destrut
), ton of World" that made the hair
z most stand on end, for he proved ths
| the world had passed its meridian an
was now on rapid down grade OF d.
:: cay. ':Rapid, rapid, did l say? Ye'
rapid for planet, but it may be mi
> lion wears distant" That lets us dow
sasy, and that night the young peopl
2 danced and the sports played poker
q usual. Just postpone the ludgmel
4 out of sight and human nature WI
. take the chances.
e But the blessed seals that hold IL
9 rain in the heavens have at last bee
y opened, and once more man and bea
y and nature rejoice in temperate
. mosphere and a moistened earth.
. was distressing to read of the SUI
y strokes and the suffering in the gre
y cities, and to think of the little inn
- cent children and the invalids l. tt
T" garrets and crowded rooms OF Il
- tenement houses. Oh, when will Il
10 good things Of this world be equal
VI apportioned? Many of us have !
n more than our share, but we are st
~ ,ngyateful and long for more. \
a, opinion is that, Independent OF
=. revelation, there is obliged to be
No other life in another world just
no equalize things. ''Son, remember tn
Of thou in thy lifetime receivedst go
- things and Lazarus ell things, b
no now Lazarus is comforted and tn
-. art tormented." That is good te