The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1897-03-22

uuntAd from "CuFFe1t I.ltafht uFgI
in tie ChurchyRrl q p; ys 2. ,,s
soul Of Wit has high elal'a on that c'lRf'
ncter;
"IIonest John
n dead and gone,
[ Here are some iniSrellRneOus Erptesque4i
'gl,o MI my friends bid hdleu;
A more sudden death you never know
AZ was Lending the old mare to aEila. i.
wlnlE.r
on IN East Tennessee lady: st
"gbs lived q life Of virtue, and died 81
chnibrn morbtiil, by eating green fruit, ~
hone OF u blesaa 4 immortality, q tue saIly
mo Of u yGaFE. months and l6 Gays
READER go thou and do uRewtheA
The following was composed by three
seuich friends to whom the persons COM
MIGRATED left q LEGACY. with the nope x. X.
] pressed that they would honor MN Dy
I some records Of their regrets. Tue hftst
I friend rumDna0d the, line which naturally
opened the epItaph:
'ProyoBt Peter Patterson was Provost OF
Dundee"
Tho second adde'ls
provost Peter Patterson, here lies he"
The third could suggt st no other conclu-
sion than:
''HalleIutaht Hall Iiejee"
The fOIlpWtuE nluht y . t1A'uu y" Ahhh
al noble profession;
Hero lies the corpse Ut Dr., Chard.
VINO filled the half OF tialS churehYard."
This is IA bad az tho unlilnd hint cone
veyed In the Following, IN 4 churchyArd
near HOwEIilrlCet:
''IEers lies thu body OF Sarah Sexton,
Who never dId auEht TO veg Ons, !,
Not like the woman under the next stone
Domestic troubles have been laid bare
Greeks and Romans Here II piece OF
atraeIoH8 dogEerel 10 Ds aecn IN shelpV
churchyHTd, Yorkshlra'
Hero lies my wire, sfid slatteFh and
ahrew;
II said regrstted her hOuld lie too"
Tine following whicn frequently appears
In collectionS of eplt0phs, ARE not credited
10 any locality, and may be nero wander
Ing bits OF eplBTammAtlc nhioBynism:
'sThls dear little spot Is the Joy OF my life;
It raises my flowers and covers my Wi4e
II am not griaved my dearest life.
Sleep on-IvB got another wife;
Therefore tcnnnOt CONS TO thee,
For must go and 1--we win she'
"My WI(e'n dead and heFc she Hes,
No man laughs and no man cries;
Where's she gone or how she fares,
Nobody knows, and nobody cares"
Here lies my poor wife without bed or
But dead S Is door nail. and God be
thRnklt.
In the following the tables are turned:
"Here Hes the body Of Mary Ford.
Whose soul. we trust, Is Wit 4 the LORD;
But n for he'll she's changed this life,
'TiH better than being John Ford's wife"
Intentional drollerIeS frequently take the
form OF pUna. Among thene should rank
the epltRph Of Mr.. FOote, Of Norwich:
Here lies one FoOte. whose death many
For Death hath now one foot within the
grave
And the one on Mr.. BOX:
Here lies one Box within another;
The 0na OF wood was very good.
We can not say 80 much for tother,"
Also the Eaaaaus one on Str John Strange:
Here Hes en honest lawyer,
That Is Strange"
A ''happy conceit'' Il was doubtless
thought in 1880 10 write over y member OF
parliament named White:
Here lies John, burning. shining llght.
Whose name, life actions, all alike We're
White"
The following Is by Swift on the earl of
who killed EIldare9 Who dared Kildare
DEATH Killed kildare. who dare XIII whom
he will"
Here are few miscellaneous examples,
the flrgt on n Mr.. Fish:
Worms are bait for fish, but here's a
change:
Fish is halt FOR worms--is not that passing
stranger
on william Button, in a chnrehyard near
Sanbury:
20 sun, moon, stars. and we celestial poles,
Are graves. then. bWindled Into Button
hoIes?"
on Foote. the comedian
"Foote from his earthly stage Is hurled:
Death took him OF, who took on all the
world"
Is the satire In the following examples
Intentional?
MARIA Brown. wife OF Timothy Brown
aged 80 years. Che lived with her husband
lfty years and died in the confident Hope
Of better life"
Here lies bernard LIRhtfoot. who was
accidentally Killed in the 46th year Of his
age. This monument was erected by his
grateful family"