The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-04-14
hoo Personal by Far.

Zoo Personal by Far.
Wildcat lucknow, look here, par
son, if you want to pitch into boss
thieves and claim jumpers and SIGH, it's
all right, but we fellers have resoluted
that when you tackle whisky and poker,
as you did last Sunday, you're breakin
into the rights of the citizen!-Harlem
Life.
Unreliable Man.
George told me that one Of my gold
en- hairs could draw him like team of
oxen"
"Yes?'
"And then when the harness broke
down he asked mo if I had q rope in nv
pocket. '-DetroiG Free Press.
Putting Men Asleep.
Yeast-I see Nevada minister well
coined the prize fighters and said he was
going to see the fight.
Crimsonbeak - Yes. I suppose he
wanted to see how other fellows put
men asleep. -Yonkers Statesman.
He Was the Compass.
Little Eddie-Papa's the captain of
our ship, and mammals the pilot.
Teacher-And what are you?
Eddie-I'm the compass, I guess.
They are always boxing -Twinkles.
What She Thought.
He (tenderly)-When put my arm
around you and clasp your hand in the
waltz, what do you think about?
She (prosaically)-I wonder if you
are going to step on my foot Truth.
DR.. Johnson's Wit.
Sir, said DR.. johnson to q friend.
commenting upon widower who re-
married, though his welded life had
been unhappy, sit is the triumph of
hope over experience "-Argonaut.
Doing the Best.
First Footpad-Did see you robbing
Clergyman?
Second Footpad-Cert; mother used
to tell me to do the best and the Lord
would help me.-Adams Freeman.
An Old Timer
She-I notice that Miss Summers has
another engagement ring. That makes
the eighth
He-Yes. see she is still in the
ring. -Yonkers Statesman.
His Special Qualification.
How sweetly he writes of boy life
in the countryl The memory of his early
days must be very dear to him.
Yes; you see, he never worked on q
farm. Detroit News.
Drawbacks Of Art.
Isabel, you haven't painted any
angels Oh these Easter cards %
mo. can't make them look stylish
without big sleeves. Chicago Record.
An Obliging Young Man.
Shelby head feels very light to-
night.
He-Then you may put it on my
shoulder. -Yonkers Statesman.
On Deck.
Dolly-The man 1 marry must be
handsome, brave and clever.
Fitz Jones--Dear mel How fortunate
we have met!-Chips.
Not Quiet.
Dollie-Was it a quiet spot where YOU
kissed Mollie?
Chollie-No; twas on the mouth
Yonkers Statesman.
Immaterial.
Dakota Lawyer-What cause for dir
vorce do you wish Inc to allege, madam?
Client-I leave that entirely to YOU.
sir.-Town Topics.
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The Best Salve in the world for Cuts,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands, Chill
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and positively cures Piles, or no pay re-
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sa.isfactionor money refunded. Price 25
cents per box. For sale Mt Massie's Phar-
macy, 100 Jefferson street, Roanoke.
letter, Salt-Rheum and Eczema.
The intense itching and smarting, Incl.
dent to these diseases, is instantly allayed
by applying Chamberlain s Eye and
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have been permanently cured by it. 1t
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a favorite remedy for sore nipples,
chapped hands, chilblains, frost bites
and chronic sore eyes. 90 cts. per box
&. DIR. Cady's Condition Powders, are
Just what horse needs when in bad
condition. Tonic, blood purifier and
vermifnge. They are not food but
medicine and the best in use to put
morse in prime condition. Price %
cents per package.