Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1897-09-30
STRIVING TO PLEASE.
A Snowman who Was willing to Do
More Than Most Would Do.

More Than Most Would Do.
81 always strive to please" remarked
the dramatic editor, as he scratched the
words big thing" out of the advance
notice he was writing and substituted
''megatherian aggregation.
Thanks, l am sure" said the adj
vance agent, as he read over the ten
lines the dramatic critic was giving
him, and carefully put back into his
pocket the half-column notice he had
first drawn on the d. C.
II presume" smiled the q. c., that
you always strive to please, too, don't
you?"
Not always" in a semidisappointed
tone, "but [ used to have friend who
did. He really was the most self-deny-
ing chap L ever saw, and what he
wouldn't do to please an audience
wasn't worth doing"
"Where is he noW?"
Dead"
"Dead?"
Eyes, it killed him. 1t was this way:
He was in the pyrotechnic branch of
the dramatic art, and used to give shows
at one of those imitation CoDey islands
to be found on nearly every sandbar
in nearly every river tributary to the
Mississippi. He had been the origin
ator of the fireworks feature at this
place, and his phenomenal success had
made him so proud that he would
sooner have died than had a failure.
One Fourth of July he was going to
give the grandest display OF his life,
and the feature in the biggest letters
on the bill was a set piece hundred
feet high, with an enormous balloon
loaded with fireworks to go up from
the top as a grand finale. There were
ten times as many people there that
night as there had ever been, and my
friend was feeling SO good you could
see it in his walk.
Everybody was on edge, too, for the
gland blaze of glory the management
had been advertising for weeks, and
when, promptly at the hour Of ten
o'clock, my friend strutted forth like
IL peacock to set off the great display
with his own hand there was a round
of applause, followed by dead silence
as the audience sat breathless watch
ing for the burst of blazing glory. But
somehow it didn't burst. The profess
scr fired the train and retreated to q
safe place, but the powder wouldn't
burn. 1t fizzIed and went out, instead.
Once, twice, thrice, it fizzled, sputtered
and went out and then the crowd began
to growl and guy, as crowds always
will, and the professor began to get
wild.
Several other attempts to set the
piece off were no more successful, and
at last, with a smothered scream of
crazy rage, he shot up the ladder of the
tower to it's very top, where he had a
platform stored with all sorts of in
fammable and explosive things, ar
ranged to go off at the proper time.
He stood there a moment SilhOuetted
against the sky, the crowd indulging
in gibes and jeers, with now and then
threat as to what he might expect
if he would only come down to the
ground. This was his time to show
what he could do to please his audience,
and in minute, and before anybody
had any idea what he would do next, he
caught up an armful OF the explosives
about him, fastened them to his clothes,
and hung wreaths and rings over his
neck and shoulders, and setting the
whole thing afire, he swung out into
the air in the balloon, which was al
ready Juggling at its anchor.
''As the balloon shot up, it was ter
rife sight, and the poor devils shriclzs
70 ho ;n{o Of bo al
ready lurid with red and blue lights,
while the air was filled with all manner
of bursting bombs and crashing ex-
plosives. Women tainted, men ran
helplessly about shouting, and still the
balloon swept upward with its fiery
freight and passenger, until when it
had reached q point about thousand
feet above the earth, it caught fire and
the whole burning mass shot like a
blazing ball straight to the ground.
you will be safe in betting thosepeo-
pie never saw such an exhibition as that
before, nor will ever again in all proba-
bility, and when it was over" concluded
the agent, 1.-THE audience seemed to re.
alize what the professor had done to
please them, and they Clipped in and
built him monup Mt where he fell,
having on it, besides his name and the
proper dates, no other inscription ex-
cept He Strived to Please"
The dramatic critic was at least half
minute in recovering his speech after
the recital of this remarkable tale, and
before he could ask any questions the
advance agent had folded his tent like a
circus and stolen away to the office of
the next dramatic critic he had to call
upon.-Washingto Star.
Ar ANN ri nr.a1