Juniata sentinel and Republican. [volume] (Mifflintown, Juniata County, Pa.) 1873-1955, 1897-05-05
"TATTERS." "

AFTER lne ullblN SItti VI t.'S
train conductor for tickets by flash
ing an annual pass in his face, the
country editor threw his feet up on the
opposite seat and told the following
story:
"Of course. l didn't escape being
victim of the rage for 'woman's edi-
tons which swept over the land few
months ago. The ladies of a local So
ciety descended upon me and | sur
rendered. took two pipes. a pound of
smoking tobacco and a tishingro an
decamped, leaving the Budget in their
charge for one week, with the priyi'
lege of making all they could out OF it.
My printer was supposed to stay. Duf.
being by classification tramp. ana
having a heavy board bill hanging over
his head by a single hair. he embraced
the opportunity, two hours after had
gone, TO walk away DOWN the railroad
track. This left the mechanical end
of the Office at the mercy of the devil
an iuky imp called 'Tatters.' The la
dies were i good deal disturbed at the
detection OF the printer, but braYely
decided to 20 ahead with Tatters and
get out the paper. They called him
In to give him some instructions. He
stood before them wearing, as usual.
a long apron stiff with ink, paste and
unknown substances; the only thing
which saved his face from being in
the same condition as his apron was
the fact that he was in the habit of
constantly twisting it into SO many
rb in. 1Stn
known substances on it never had time
to stiffen. His hair pointed in all di-
rections. like that of jack-in- the box.
and in his left hand he carried a sec
tion of a column of wet type.
"'What are you doing. Tatters?' in
quired the lady who was president of
the amelioration society, with some di;
nifty.
"'Throwin in answered the imp.
Throwing in what"
Type
Unto whatT
THE case. Think I was thrown /;
Into my hatT
The lady looked at him coIdly and
he went on:
but I'm most through and you'll
hear me hollerin' for copy in bout
quarter of nour,' and he retreated
into the composing groom and slammed
the door.
The ladies were indignant. but there
was clearly nothing for them to do but
TO grin and bear it. A few minutes
later there came a most dismal. long
drawn wall from the other room,
which, after some effort. they man
aged TO interpret as the promised 'hol-
lerin'' II was followed by the ap-
pearance of Tatters' head at the door.
What is it, asked the president.
who had been chosen editor-in- chief, a
little sharply.
Copy returned Tatters. Did you
think l was singing the doxolergy:'
There is no copy ready yet. Can't
you be doing something else
81 can THAR and he snatched Off his
apron and started for the door. 1 can
be going fishing just as easy as not
"'Tattersr cried the frightened edit
or. springing before the door. don't
you dare to desert us! You stay here
till some copy is ready for you
"Tatters retreated and put on his
apron in an aGitated frame of mind.
"A moment later one of the younger
ladies', who had been appointed manag-
Ing editor, took 4 roll OF dainty writ
ten manuscript from her handbag and
said:
Here. Tatters, is something which
you can begin on"
''Tatters took 1t, shifted, glanced al
It and said:
What is it-spring poetry"
mo, it's the essay that 1 read ii
the fourth page
what! the editorial pager shrek
ed Tatters. Put such CUFF as that on
the editorial page of the Budget! Not
much and he tossed the manuscript
on the table.
I'VE shall certainly do as we see
fit,' interpOsed the editOr-in-chief with
great dignity.
81 resignr cried Tatters, again tear
Ing off his apron and throwing 1t be
hind him, where it struck in the city
editors lap, greatly to her dismsy. 4
resign my poSlsh, that's all. Here, If
you want it in ink, gimme pen. Lem
me write 1t out in black n white
Dear Madam: l hereby resign my
posish. CSigneG Tatters." Gimme
pen, I say"
"'Tatters, be calm-act reasonable
said the e1itor-in-chief In soothing
tone. What shall We put on the edi
torial pageE