The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-23
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

''That is Mr.. Penmon. He is
poet" ''What does he do for hv-
ing2'-Puck
She--'Let us stop dan cling; my hair
is coming down. He-"Never mind,
I'll pick it up. lie Mond Comique.
Prison Librarian-"W What sort of
book would you like to have?" Convict
Got any bicycle catalogues?"-
Puck
~ Bynic-'I can't see why man who
is happy when single should ever mar
ry." Friend-"He never does. -
Puck.
Scorcher--''Do you think the horse
will survive the bicycle?" Pickimup--
81 don't think anything else will. =
Truth.
Mr.. Newhub-"What does it mean
when bride promises to obey?"
Mrs. Simply that she pre-
fers not to make a scene. Puck.
Would you consider it proper to
precede the father of your sweetheart
down stairs?' ut may be proper,
but it isn't always safe. Yale Record.
Mrs. Pancake-'T can't see why II
great big fellow like you should beg"
Hungry Hank-"Well, mum, / s'pose
me size help to gimme an appetite!'-
Truth.
Connoisseur-"How dare you claim
that that,bureau is 500 years old? 1t
is no more than fifty" Dealer--"Oh,
that kind always ages very rapidly. -
Fliegende Blaetter
az saw man to-day who had no
hands play the piano That's moth
ingl We've got girl down in our
fiat who has no voice and who sings"
Yonkers Statesman.
''How did old Coltherstone take the
news of his aunt's death?" well
he was sorry she had to go-but he
was glad she had $50, 900 she didn't
take with her. Puck.
Dolly Swift-'Isn't old Jack Rush,
who is paying court to Miss Thirty
smith, rather fast?" Sally Gay-"De-
cidedly so, but not fast enough to get
away from her. Puck.
Priscilla Gust arrived) )-"Are there
any men here?" Phyllis-"Oh, there
are few apologies for mem" Pris-
cilla-"Well, if an apology is offered
to me shall accept it. London Tit
Bits.
Polite why, the baby
looks just like its father" Young
Father aside to servant)-" Mary, =
there any laudanum in the house? L
do not wish to live any longer. -
Standard.
d. He-"Miss Bellacour claims to be.
long to very old family" She
"Well, she's justified. There are six
of those girls, and the youngest of
them must be at least thirty-fve. -
Cleveland Leader
Edith--"I hope he didn't make
speech when he proposed to you"
Maud why, no; he was so nervous
he could hardly speak, Edith
Poor boyl He's better lover than
when / first knew himr'-Truth
He (salesman)-"Deer little hand
(absentmindedly); wonder if it will
wash?" She icon spirito)-''No, sir,
it won't; nor it won't scrub, either;
but, if you want it to play the piano,
it's yours, George. London Tit-Bits.
Big Calf (vainly)-"Get out of my
way or I'll step ON you. You're no.
body! Barnyard Fowl (haughtily)--
"If you could hear folks grumble " hen
they find veal in chicken salad you'd
change your tune. New York Week
ly.
II throw myself on your mercy"
walled the 25O-pound leading lady.
The leading man sank beneath her
weight. II now realize" he MUIR
INJURED, "what is meant by the power
behind the thrown. philadelphia
Record
81 may lead wild life, ," said Jig
gers; "but ] take care about the pe8-
pie my boys associate with. " II
know you do" said Hawkins. I've
observed that you spend very little
time with 'em yourself old man, and L
honor you for it, ,"-Harper's Bazaar.
"The man who brought this in, " re-
marked the editors assistant, told
me confdentially that he needed the
money for it, Eyes, was the mel
ancholy answer; 'it's a strange fact
that the longest poems seem almost in-
yariably to be written by the shortest
poets. Washington Star.
Old Lady-"Tm afraid your story
OF your wife's death a fortnight ago
and your children's illness Is not quite
the truth" Tramp-''Not true!
Look e ere lady; I've been in this un-
fort nate persition for more nor five
year, aud ave said the same thing
hundreds of times, aud you re the fust
as ever doubted my word afore!'-
London Fun.