The record-union., 1897-08-27
TINToWN CHURCH PICNIC.
Held in the Sacred Edifice Itself,
but Lacked Elements Of Success.

The little church in Tintown was
going to give a picnic to raise money To
pay off Elder Tidings There had been
meetings Of committee for solid week
arranging IS to where the flock should
go, and as TO what each should furnish
and as to who should be manager-in-
chief of the affair. Some suggested that
they should have a fiat-boat and go ur
I to Towhead Island, and others said:
No, We'll des walk I'D de river till we
gifts hungry huff ter eat an den drar
down."
! What's de matter wild havin' it right
/ hyar at home in our own church," said
| the Rev. Jenkins
Oats de very thing" exclaimed a
chorus os voices.
| It was finally arranged that each wo-
man who attended the church picinc
was to take a well-filled basket, covered
i with heavy paper. a card inside bearing
her name. The baskets were to go tc
the highest bidder and the purchaser
was to eat with the good sister that
! brought the basket All the darkies in
/ Tintown We're at once caught with the
spirit of the scheme, and arrangements
We're begun at once, and what prepare
lions they began TO make for it! 1t is
hard to beat a Southern darkey when il
comes to cooking, and cakes, pies, chick
en- and other good things began to find
| their way into the baskets.
The night for the picnic at last came
around, and the little tin church was
thrown open for the occasion. Uncle
| Mosby, q pious-looking old deacon, was
selected to sell the baskets. Uncle Mos
| by always looked pious when there was
anything going on around the meeting
house, but Uncle Mosby had been in
! Jail once for taking sack of meal from
mill door
Darkies old and young, children and
| all, came crowding into the church
Such laughing and moving up to the
pulpit, where the baskets were to be
soldl Uncle Mosby arose, and as he
waved his hand for silence said:
Dis hyar picnic is fer de ben'fit Nv
de clutch. de cookin is guaranteed
highest bidder gifts de grub, cash down.
mine yo'"
An old negro at this point arose and
said that he would cut a white cake with
ring inside, u cents cash down, and
the ring guaranteed.
The first basket brought 20 cents, but
Uncle Mosby gave them to understand
that no more would go at that price.
The bidding became better. 1t was
just here that a new feature was in
troduced. Jim" Drake, a drunken
steamboat rOuster, came in, displaying
81 or 50, and began to bid. An old sister
by the name of Jane Lanem, yelled out:
He can't eat wild me-"
Several others made the same state
ment, but Jim held his ground. and
said: My money is des as good as any
bodys money"
"Yo' money is Satan's money!" yelled
Aunt Jane.
Yes. and yo'd like ter hav' OF Satan
plastered all over yo'!" said Jim
lie ies' IS 'specterbul ez W wua
when yo' stole dat sack er meal, yo' oil
| lynn hipDercrt.'
| Uncle Mosby waved his hand. and
said: dis hyar picnic am gwine Ger be
run on principals Nv respec'. an bein
yer amt in resDectubul condition, Jim
yo' can't buy no grub
Uncle Mosby went for him and
sc uashed a basket over his head. Chick
en- and ''pop" flew in every direction
and four or five Joined in the fracas
The woman yelled, and some one turned
out the lights. Jim the roustar. es-
lcaped in the darkness, and took q basket
with him as he went, and when an ole
NEGRO struck a match Uncle Mos5v ano
Elder Jenkins were fighting over in 8
corner, eacn thinking that the other was
Jim.
When oea>e was restored it was dis
lowered that seven baskets were miss
inl;. and that the cake with the ''go'd
ring was also gone
No one knew where they had gone.
Uncle Mosby slowly pinned the collar
of his shirt, scratched his head, and
said:
80 far ez lie concerned de picinc il
adjourned De Lawd doan seem tel
'pruv' NV EN- jes now
Reaching for one of the largest bask-
cts, he started for the door, saying:
Peace on urth-good will ter men
IGood night. louisville Dispatch.