Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-11-20
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Light. houses. from theatrical point
Of view, always indicate breakers |
ahead.
Katc--I think that Cholley has some. |
thing on his mind. Polly-lf he has. lie
must he good at balancing.-Somer
Journal.
"Ncw that have got my hay in"
said the relieved farmer. II think the
world would be greatly better for o
good shower
Gabber-what does your son do for q
living? Nabber--1ie's a scientific box.
or. Gabber-A pugilist? Nabber-No:
untertaker.-Life.
First Seaside Belle-But how can you
D. certain that you are his first love?
Second Seaside Belle-Well. he only
got down here last night!-Sketch.
She-1 know I'm cross Mt times, John:
but. u I had my life to live over again,
I should marry you Just the same. He
have my doubts about that, my dear.
Friend-well. Ethel, how do you like
married life. Ethel enthusiastically
It's simply delightful. We've been
married week. and have had eight
quarrels, and got the best of 1t every
time.
"Meln Fraulcin, I love your said an
impecunious German youth ut a Ham.
burg ball. Excuse me--yonder Is my
business manager" replied the young
lady, pointing with her fan to her
father.
Clara--lIow under the sun did Edith
happen to marry Mr.. Awkward! Dora
lie was the bane Of her life at every
hall she attended, and presume she
married him to keep him from wanting
to dance with her.
II wonder" said young lady. "why
Hymen Is always represented as carry.
ing torch:" To which an old bachc.
Tor snecringly responded: "To indicate
that he always makes 1t warm for peo-
pie who marry"
Women somehow get over childish
notions that men never Outgrow. Some
men celebrate the anniversary OF every
birthday as long as they 1--we, while
women abandon the childish custom al.
most as soon as they grow up.
"what did her father say when you
told him that you wanted to marry his
daughter. Riversy' "Well. Banks. he
didn't absolutely refuse. but he impos.
ed a very serious condition" what
was ity' "He said he would see me
hanged first"
His Fellow Fccllng.-Paterfamll
Look here, Dick, you've been bit wild
yourself in your day and I'd like some
advice. What am to do with Harry?
The young rascal exceeds his allow.
ance every month. Cousin Dick-ln-
crease it.-Chicago Journal.
Secker-1 observe that Professor
Stage has been lecturing on "lIow to
Become Christian Athlete" ! won.
tlcr what that means? Sageman-Thats
an easy one. A Christian athlete Ii
one who Is continually Jumping from
one religion to another.
Mrs. De Pink-I am amazed. sir. that
you should propose to my daughter.
why, she has only Just left boarding
school, and you have not known her .
week! YOung Man--True, madam: but
I have known Yen for some time. and
everybody says your daughter takes
after you.
The Londoner-Our universal provid.
ing houses are 10 large that small
hoy has been known TO OutgrOw the suit
he bought In the rear Of the shop while
walking to the street door. The Chica.
soan-Huh! We have got department
houses so big In Chicago that the floor.
walkers all have to use bicycles.-In.
tiianapolis Journal.
MADAM" said n young lady to her
preceptress Mt boarding school. MT.
Bciifair has come to take me out to
drive. May "a. madam "iou know.
miss. that our rules d not allow II.
unless you are engaged. Are you en-.
Gagged to Mr.. Belifairy' "N-no: not
exactly; but II sou let me 60. I shall be
By the time We get back"
do you believe In q third party"
asked old Dimmiug trefeSring to the
political sltuatj0n) Of bis daughters
i,eau. as all three sat In the parlor.
~Weii." replied The young man, who
had not called TO discuss politics, II
wouldn't have thought OF asking you to
retire; but since sou mention II, Mr..
Dimmick. will say that 1t II the gen.
eral belief that two are company"
II don't believe quite understand
your cOntentiou,- said the Judge to the
hacyclist; ut seems that the prisoner Is
n house mover: that he was moving
small frame house at the time Of the
trouble; and that you ran into the
house. I can't see what Offense he has
cOmmitfesl.' ''But, your honor" pro-
tested the bicyclist, II rang my bell
when was half block away, and he
paid no attention to it."-DetrOit Jour.
nal.
How SpurgeOn Learned to Smoke.
II has never been stated vet how