davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
GUESTS FROM WAY BACK.
Amusing Stories of Their Blunders in
Big City Hotels

The clerks at several Of the hotels
aretellingamusing stories about some
of the guests who have come in from
the rural districts to the fall festiv-
| tiles and fair. An aged couple came
into the Moser and wanted room.
When informed that there was none
the woman turned to the man and
snapped out:
cit serves us right We will have
to walk the streets tonight
When asked for an explanation the
man said that they had arrived that
morning and paid for a room at some
house in advance for a week. He
said they forgot to take the number
and street, and had looked for three
hours for the house and then given it
up. They had not the slightest idea
where the place was.
A man from Arkansas told the
housekeeper at the Moser that he
was going out and might not be back
for supper, but she need not wait for
him.
Another man came into the ST.
James and seeing an advertisement
on the blotter in the register headed:
"a friend in need is a friend indeed"
asked for the address.
"That's the man I've been looking
for" he said. 81 was robbed last
night and | want to borrow money to
get home on"
A man at the Rozier apologized to
the night clerk for keeping him up
until II o'clock, lie said he hadn't
noticed how late twas.
4 well-dressed man at the st.
Nicholas told the clerk that there was
10 oil in his lamp. 1t wouldn't light.
y bell boy went mp and turned on the
incandescent and told the guest that
he had forgotten to turn up the wick.
He acknowledged that he had.
A man and woman we're registering
at the Moser when a hackman came
and asked them for his money for
hauling them up from the Union sta
ton.
"Why,you amt going to charge MS,
are YOU" asked the man.
"Sure," said the hackman.
Didn't you ask us if we wanted
to ride?" demanded the man.
The hackman said that he had.
"Well, them" exclaimed the man, |
what do you want us to pay for?"
The clerk explained matters and |
the visitor to the city paid the bill. |
He remarked that that was the first |
time he had ever known of anyone be- !
ing invited to ride and then asked to
paw for it.-St. Louis Republic
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
NO LOVE FOR SOCIETY.
Tried 1t Once and 1t Made Him a Con
firmed Bachelor.

Give been a bachelor ever since
reached manageable age" declared
the man who was wearing a mustard
plaster, slipping hot whisky and smok-
ing an imported cigar in his luxurious
quarters. Now | have retired perma-
nently from society. You couldn't
get me to a reception of the royal
family if | was cabled to come as the
guest of honor. I'm out of the swim
and I'm out to stay.
"0f course, I've gone great deal
and have been recognized as a sort of
social convenience, to be called upon
when needed, but there came a straw
that broke the cancels back. Some
of the girls at a nearby summer re-
sort recognized a scarcity of the male
element and sent an imperative call
for me. ! showed my usually accom-
modating spirit and went. They
gathered around me like flies around
a sugar barrel and kept up such an in
fernal buzzing that could only make
a fool of myself by splitting sentences
and ideas in trying to say something.
They took me in bathing and they
were so attentive that | had to be
towed ashore by the custodian Of the
grounds and resuscitated.
"They kept me rowing, or sailing
till | couldn't move without creaking,
sang to me until | have what the doc
tors call a telephone ear on both sides, |
and wound up by sending me home
with a mother and a baby who re-
ceiyed a message to come at once. As
the mother was Frustrated with dread |
| took care Of the baby, coddled it, |
carried it, and even complied with its
tyrannical demands for the bottle |
When we struck town it was raining
torrents and we walked two blocks to |
get a street car. On that car there
were a dozen Of the fellows that knew
me. At first they just looked at me
and staggered, Then they all filed |
solemnly by and congratulated me in
an ELUSIVE manner. The'baby set up
a yell, the Other passengers giggled |
and | blushed a deep red for the first
time in 80 years. | may attend an oc-
stag party, bat women now
hath no charms for me."-AIilwalAlee
Journal.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
-A-MAcANe To pRevenT pIvoacr
Prof kesiey says ns mas laveni "a . Won
derfui Instrumant 20 SOUND the
W Chord 81 Love

LOT love.
Prof John w. Kelley. inventor OF
the Kelley motor, has come to the
front with another machine which he
believes will accomplish wonders
equal to that Of the motor when the
latter really has a chance to prove its
usefulness. Prof. Kelley. starting
out on the proposition that every
human body is tuned toe certain
musical note "a discovery which, for
the purposes Of his latest invention he
kept secret, has invented a machine
by which the chord or keynote of
every individual may be registered.
This in itself is an achievement for
which no mean thanks should be due
Prof. Kelley if his machine really
does the business Heretofore no
man has been able to know exactly
his chord or keynote, and he has gone
on entirely ignorant of how he ought
to sound.
But the real usefulness of the in
strument Prof. Kelley has invented
will, he claims, be found in its appl.
cation to love, or what is sometimes
supposed to be love. BY calling into
play this machine, it will be easy to
tell whether a man and woman who
are fond of each other are suited for
life long association. 1t is all simple
enough. Prof Kelley, in an expla
nation Of his invention, tells the
whole story. He says:
Every person has musical chord
Every man may find his proper life
companion by sounding that chord.
IF you know your own keynote
you can determine whether it will
form discord or harmony with that
of the maid or man you love.
"If they form a discord, do not
tempt the fates by marriage. If they
form harmony, you may marry and
live happy ever after.
81 have discovered a method of
registering the chord of every ind
vidual, l have invented a negative
sympathetic register, which records
these chords. The instrument is TIE
only known infallible preventive of
divorce. / have tested 1900 couples
by means of this machine, and it has
never made mistake"
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
THE DEPARTMENT CLERK.
Has Rather an Easy Life in Washington
and Enjoys It.

|
"Life in the departments at Wash
ington," said a government clerk a
home on his vacation, ''is certainly
delightful sort of thing if you have
a good position. The hours are easy
nine to four o'clock, and you are al
lowed 80 days annual and 80 days
sick leave. This leave you can take
by the hour, day, or in lump. OF
course, you are not expected to take
the sick leave unless you are sick, but
then it is much easier to be sick under
the government than in commercial
house. Nobody asks any unpleasant
questions You put in a slip; that is
the end of the matter know chief
of division in the patent office who
regularly every year goes off to Nova
Scotia, After he has used his so days
annual leave he gets physicians GER
tificate to cover his sick leave. The
physician states that it is necessary
for his patients health that he stay
in Nova Scotia Such is life.
"0f course there are those who are
scrupulous even about government
sick leaves, but they are too rare to
live long Two months in the de-
partments modify most consciences
in this respect. But this little matter
aside, you have exceptional facilities
to study human nature.
Washington is a beauHiul city;
there are all sorts ofinteresting places
to go to; You are surrounded on all
sides by great cities, with fast trains
running every hour; the seashore is
few hours from you; the mountains
are not far away It's just a matter
of pleasure to walk through Washing
ton, with its beautiful, clean streets,
its parks and circles of greenery, its
clear atmosphere, free from the smoke
Of factories. If you wish to have
dreams Of magni6cence, all you have
to do is to go on starlight night and
take stand between the capitol,
with its dome and symmetrical TANKS,
and majestic proportions of the new
library buildings."-N. o. Times
Democrat.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
Curious Eject of a Bee Sting

A singular effect of a bsp sting is
related by am English astronomer.
The sting was not painful, but in
about Is minutes the face of the vic
tim, lady, became violently flushed,
and blains, or white blisters, appeared
all over her body, arms and legs; and
then, more curiously still, she devel-
oped sharp attack of asthma. This
yielded to home remedies, and the
0llsters turned from white to red,
disannearing in few hours.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
A MIDNIGHT TRAGEDY.
Well Armed, he Succeeded in Dislodging
W the Burglars

Well Armed, he Succeeded in Disioaginl
the Burglars
1t was midnight, and dreary rain
was falling. The West End citizen
had observed before retiring that it
would be good night to sleep, and he
was snoring like a side-tracked Pull
man sleeper, when his wife shook him
and whispered:
"Burglarsp'
lie was on his feet in an instant-a
pistol in each hand, ready for bust
ness.
"Where are they?" he asked, in a
quavering voice
I'm the parlor," whispered his wife.
"They are stealing the piano, and 7
paid the July installment on it yester-
day. Listen!"
Sure enough, the piano was emit
ting the most doleful sounds-deep,
farewell notes, with an occasional
shrill scream of anguish.
The citizen, accompanied by the
armory before mentioned, moved eau
tiously toward the parlor.
Burglars, without doubt, for the
sounds ceased as heapproached
"Who's therew he shouted.
No answer.
"Speak, or I'll shootp
Dead silence.
Bangl Bang! Bangl went the gun.
There was a crash, as of broken
glass And then the citizen seemed to
receive a blow on the cheek, from
which the blood trickled.
He grappled with flying object
then released his hold, while a
monster cat, of the gray and wander
ing species, darted through broken
pane of glass and vanished in the
darkness.
Then he struck light and tried to
quiet his shrieking wife.
"Have you killed them?" she
gasped.
| nave wounded one OF them, am
sure" he replied.
And then, the parlor having
capitulated, he took possession and
looked around him.
He had punctured two oil paint
ings, broken three art glass windows.
wounded the piano in the left lung,
and shot his wife's former husband
who was reclining against the wall in
crayon-through the right eye.
lie was master of the situation, but
his wife, seeing the blood trickling
from his forehead, screamed:
you are wounded! You are bleed
ing"
''It is nothing mere scratch" he
replied And then he told six ex-
cited neighbors and policeman
who had been awakened by the shots
that if they found a dead burglar
outside they needn't be surprised
tlonto Constitution
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
GEN r. 6. LEE,
SOLDIER,
Citizen and Christian Patriot.
LIVE AGENTS WANTED

Everywhere to show sample pages and get nm
clubs, Extraordinary liberal terms. Money
can be made rapidly, and vast amount of
good done in circulating one of the noblest his
torical works published during the last quar-
ter of "A century Active agen Is are now reap.
ing a rich harvest. Some of our best workers
are selling over 1917 hooks week.
Mr. A. q Williams, Jackson county Mo-
worked four days and half and secured 81 or
ders. He sells the book to almost every man
he meets, Dr. .J. Mason. Muscogee county.
Ca. sold 100 copies the first five DAYS he can
vassed. II . g.. sheets. Palo Pinto county Tex
worked few hours and sold 10 COPIES mos ii
morocco binding. j. HsHanna, CASTOR coun-
ty, n. e., made MONTH wages in three days
canyassing for this book. S. NJ White, Gala
han county, Tex. is selling books at the rate Of
l4i copies week
Thework contains Biographical sketches of
all the Leading Generals, q vast amount of
Historical Matter, and a large number OF
Beautiful Full-Page Illustrations II Is a
grand book, and ladies and gentlemen who can
give all or any part OF their time to the canvass
are bound 10 make immense sums of money
handlingit.
An Elegant Prospectus, showing the di fferent
styles of binding sample pages, and ali ma.
terial necessary to WORK with, will be sent on
receipt of 30 cents. The magnificent gallery OF
portraits, alone, in the prospectus Is worth
double the money. We furnish ID at far less
than actual cost of manufacture and we would
advise you to order quickly, and get exclusive
control OF the best territory. Address
ROYAL FURNISHING COMPANY,
nth aud Main sts, Richmond, Va.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
A CELEBRATED TRAGEDY.
Sol Sharp's Death Recalls a Wonderful
Kentucky Romance.

"NNShy
Louisville, Ky,-The death of Sol
Sharp, the turfman, at Cincinnati, re-
calls one of the most celebrated trag
edies that has ever occurred ia Ken
lucky. Sharp was the only surviving
grandson of Solomon Sharp, one of
the principal figures in the affair.
Seventy years ago Solomon Sharp
was a noted politician, wealthy resi-
dent of Bowling Green, had just been
elected to the Legislature and was
the leading candidate for Speaker of
the House. Before election he had
been attentive to a Miss Cook a
member of prominent family, and
was charged with being the father of
her child.
The charge was brought up against
him in the campaign. Sharp attemp-
ted to parry it by asserting that the
child's father was a mulatto.
The girl was beautiful and Jerc-
beam Beauchamp, romantic young
man, wished to marry her in spite of
her betrayal. She consented on the
condition that he kill Sharp. The
night before the Legislature met,
Sharp was called to his doorin Frank
fort and murdered with knife thrust.
Suspicion fell upon Beauchamp, who
had married Miss Cook. He was ar
rested, found guilty and sentenced to
be hanged. The night before the ex.
ecution his wife was admitted to his
cell and killed herself with dagger,
Beauchamp also stabbed himself, but
inflicted only flesh wound, and was
hanged. The story was dramatized
and was also the subject OF move
by VIM, Gilmore Sims, but the book
was bought up and destroyed.
Broilers shrink about halfpound
each when dressed.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30

Broiers shrink about a halfpound
each when dressed.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30
Freach Women in the Ans.

French statistics show that there
are now 1850 women in France who
earn their living as authors, or writ
ing for newspapers, while there are
only 700 painters and sculptors of
that sex, Among the writers are / 900
noyelists, 200 lyric poets and 100
who publish children's stories and
educational works.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30

and AUIINE gentlemen or
ladies to travel for responsible, es-
tablished house in Kentucky. Month
ly $4,000 and expenses. Position
steady. Reference. Enclose self-ad-
dressed stamped envelope. The Do
minion Company, Dept. r. Chicago.
Hopkinsville Kentuckian. [volume] (Hopkinsville, Ky.) 1889-1918, 1897-11-30

MIR. Ruskin has written some GA
books, and his publisher pays him
$4,000 a year.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-09-30
N CAND[ESS RAN Strong
LEADS HIS TICKET BY \ GOOD
MAJORITY.
Mokoli win Bring Maui Returns on
Saturday News of Hawaiis Elec-
ton on the Claudine Sunday.

just 449 ballots were voted in Homo
lulu and the country precincts yester-
day. This is little more than one
half of the total number of people
regisie tered on the Island.
The official count has been made.
and the ballots are now in the custo-
dy of Election Register Wray Taylor.
An official report of the election. on
the Island of Oahu, was presented to
the Minister of the Interior today.
There being no opposition to the
American Union Party, the voters
contented themselves with the next
best thing. They scratched their
tickets and cast one and one-half in
some instances. and in others three
ballots for their favorite candidates.
Alex G.. NJ. Robertson lead his tick
ct in the Fourth district, receiving
2O0% votes. Albert V. Gear received
113% votes and Alatau Atkinson 155.
In the Fifth district Lincoln L. Nc
Candless ran like a frightened deer.
receiving 3O5 votes. John Lot Kaulu-
kou had 1f5R TO his credit and Sam
ucl G.. Wilder 111b votes.
Mr.. McCandless' strength was sur
prisng to many. He led all the can
didates.
The first election returns were re-
ceivcd from Waialua at five minutes
past o'clock. Two minutes later Ka-
neohe telephoned in her returns.
The James Makee will bring in the
Kauai returns today. The Mololii
win have the returns of Maui, Molo-
iai and Lanai on Saturday.
The arrival of the Claudne on Sun
day morning will he anNiously await
ed by those who are interested in the
results on the big island
The official canvass of the Fourth
and Fifth districts, embracing the Is
land of Oahu, is as follows:
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-09-30
MOUNTAIN SIDE MUST Go OCEANIC STEAMSHIP CO.
STANDS AS \ BARRIER TO THE
NEW PAIL ROAD.
One Hundred and Fifty Kegs of
Giant Powder to be Fired in Its En-
trails Next Monday.

But one barrier stands in the way
of the completion of the new Pail road
now. If the plans of Wilson & White
house, the contractors, do not misc ar
ry, it will not long stand. The OBJ
struction is a ragged seam of the
mountain, a solid rib of rock thas
stands directly on the surveyed
line of the new road. hanging over the
old road at a distance of about 400
feet from the top of the pali 1t has
easily withstood all attacks of picl;
and wedge, and has only been penc-
trated with the hardest of drills.
TO get rid of the obstruction the
contractors have planned to blow or
the whole side of the mountain with
giant powder.
Great preparations have been made
for the big blast. which, if all goes
well. will be fired on next Monday af-
ternoon about , o'clonk. Invitations
have been given by Messrs. Wilson &
WhitehouSe to number Of town pco-
pie to witness the affair, and ii Is
likely that one hundred or nore peo-
pie will be in the vicinity when The
powder train is started.
It has taken month TO prepare the
blast In all thirty-five holes, each
several inches in diameter and twenty
five feet deep. have been drilled INTO
the heart of the rock. In these holes
$50 kegs Of giant powder will be cm-
ptied, and weights down with rocks
The whole charge will then be fred,
and it is believed that several hun
dred tons of broken rock will be torn
loose and rolled down into the old
trail. aud over it into the valley. The
sight viii he one well worth seeing,
and no doubt many will avail them
selves of the invitations given.
The blast will probably be the great
est ever fired in the Islands. \ few
days ago the graders at Kaena Point
fired charge of fifty kegs of pow
der. but that win be as nothing COM
pared with the affair which the Pail
road contractors have arranged. In
this instance, literally, the whole side
of mountain is to be blown off.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-09-30
HAWAIIAN HOTEL WILL NOT BE \
SCHOOL.
Property Will be Sold Tomorrow
Strong Probabilities That the Gov
ernment viii Go Out of the Hotel
Business.

The plan of the Executive to trans
form the Hawaiian Hotel into a school
building has been abandoned. Even
as sorely needed as are additional
buildings to accommodate the school
children, it was deemed advisable to
await the meeting of the Legislature
when an appropriation will be asked
to carry out these necessities.
The Hawaiian Hotel premises will
be disposed of at noon tomorrow on
the front steps of the Executive build
ing. John \. Hassinger of the 1nte-
rior Department, will conduct the sale.
The property will first be offered
for sale and it will be cheerfully
knocked Off to the highest bidder pro-
viding that sum equals the upset
price or above. If this fails, Mr.. Has
singer will Immediately offer the
premises for a ten year rental.
There is a strong probability that
the hotel property will be bought out
right at tomorrow's sale. While no
applications have been made for the
purchase of the premises, it is known
at the Interior office that at least
three parties are in the market. One
of these gentlemen argues that he is
anxious to get the hotel and he finds
it cheaper to buy it outright for $iU.-
600 rather than pay this same amount
eventually for ten years lease.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-09-30
EXPORTs OF BREADsTUFFs.

The monthly comparative state
ment of the exports of breadstuffs,
cotton, mineral, oils, cattle and hogs
and provisions during the month of
August shows as follows: Breadstuff,
S25, ,502 ,532, increase as compared with
August, 1896, about $l1,000,000; cot
ton, $l,703,S1S, decrease about $780,
900: mineral oils, $5,691 ,34S, increase
nominal; cattle and hogs, $2,S53,215,
increase about S500,000: provisions,
S12,233, ,131, increase nearly $1,700,0 900.
Total S47, ,0S4 $50; increase about $11,-
100000. For the eight months ended
August 81, 1897, the increase or de-
crease as compared with the same Pc
riod last year is given approximately
as follows: Breadstuffs, increase.
26,000,000; cotton, decrease, $5.7Ou.-
000: cattle and hogs, increase Ss0O.0O
provisions, $3,000,00 Total net m
crease. $22, ,735, 500.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-09-30
\ SPANISH ADMIRAL.
Says That American Seal oard Cities
Could Easily be Destroyed.

4 special to the New York World
from London says: Admiral de al
Camara, naval attache of the Spanish
Embassy, has gone to Glasgow pre-
sumably to buy stores, possibly ships,
for the Spanish navy.
"Spain is the last country in Eu-
rope which wishes war with the Unit
ed States" he said, but if war be
forced upon us Spaniards will make a
good fight
II am not allowed to express an
opinion of the maritime strength of
a foreign nation. The United States
considering the position they occupy
in the nations of the world, are not
strong at sea. Many of their ships are
not up to the requirements of modern
warfare. The same may he said of
ours
I'VE could certainly lay waste the
American seaboard cities just as we
predicted an English fleet would do
if war broke out between Great Brit
ain and the United States.
AS to the naval basis for Spain in
the West, beyond what Cuba and Cos
tn Rica affords, possibly some neutral
power of the South American conti-
nent might give us a chance to refit
our ships and coal.
"As for our own coasts, they are de-
Tended by IN extensive system of for
tifications and heavy guns, as at Ca
diz. Valencia and Barcelona, while the
population could be depended upon for
active service"
He spoke without acrimony of the
prospects of war.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1897-09-30
CURIOUS ACCIDENT.

During IA blast at Kaena Paint last
Monday a flying piece of blue rock,
about the size of a cannot ball, struck
japanese laborer standing fully 800
feet away, injuring him in most pc
culiar manner. The missile struck the
poor fellow just above the knees, pas
sing between his legs, cutting out
from either leg clear down to the bone
a piece of flesh semi-circular in shape
and several inches in diameter. The
flesh was cut out as neatly as if a sur
geon had done it The poor fellow is
now being treated in the japanese
hOSDital here