Walker Lake bulletin. (Hawthorne, Nev.) 1883-1926, 1897-10-20

lsaacS-'liat cigar, Coheng Cohen
Watts der madder init it?"-Truth
Clerk-"You say you will take this
hammock, MISS" She-"Yes, but
want two of them" Clerk-"Very well,
madam. Life.
A stumbling block: What is the oh
lection of the politicians to the civil
service reform system?n The exam
inatlon questions. truth.
Clergyman-"My boy. do you know
It's wicked to fish ON the Sabbath"
1oungster-"I isn't fishing; I'm teach.
Ing this ere wurm to swim. Tit Bits.
Benedict proudly)-"My wife kisses
me good night regularly" Rounder
(bitterly)-"Women are suspicious crea.
lures, amt they ?'-Boston Herald.
First Boarder-'I wonder the land.
lady lets him stay; everybody can see
that he drinks" Second Boarder-
Yes; but he never has any appetite in
the morning. Punch.
Cook Ito policeman)-"Iow neatly
you carve that goosew with a sudden
outbuist of jealousy you have de-
ceiyed me! | am not your first love"
-Fliegende Batter.
why, George, you haven't smoked
any OF those cigars l gave you for II
birthday present?' NO, dear. |
couldn't find 1t In my heart to burn any
thing you gave me."-,Iugend.
Yeast-"That man Doughton is very
skeptlcal. Unless he sees thing, he
won't believe Ii exists" Crimsonbenk
He never ran into rocking-chair In
the dark, thenY'-Yonllers Stateman.
What do You regard as the most i'm
portnnt event of the century?e asked
the philosopher. 'Wen," answered the
wheelman, 'the finish is about as salts
factory as any part of the run. Truth.
Tibbs-"She is not only fine-looking
girl, but they say she has fifty thousand
pounds in her own right" Nibbs-
What would you do If you had wife
like that?' Squibbs- -"Nothing. >
Judy.
81" said the pompous actor, "was
once where the shells fell so thick and
fast that to escape them was impossi-
ble.' "And you are alive to tell it?'
"Oh, yes. The shells were loaded with
egg Detroit Free Press.
Farmer Summerboard Ito his SOM
"Enoch, l guess it's about time to prune
them vines Miss Citigirl lone of the
boarders)-"Oh, do you raise your own
prunes? thought you bought Them at
the grocery'-Puck.
''They say, Grumpy, that the Queen
of England has sixty pianos, and does
MT play any of them" I'm little bit
cramped this spring, but I'll buy my
daughter ffty-nine more if she'll follow
the queens example. e."-Household
Words.
Mr.. Grabenthal-"Little key has
ruined dot typewriter l got him for his
birthday" Mrs. Grabenthal-"yo has
he done with the beautiful type
writer?' Mr.. Grabenthal-"H has got
der dollar-mark worm oudt alreadyr-
Truth.
Actress (who thinks of having her
diamonds stolen for the sake of the ad-
vertisement)-"Ha any one ever been
robbed at this hotel? Guest (summer
hotel,-"None of my friends have. We
all took the precaution to settle about
rates before we came."-New York
Weekly.
Did l understand you to say that
you didn't have any company in the
kitchen while was out, Katie?" "Yis.
num; that's what said" But l smell
The tobacco from a pipe all through the
house" "Yis mum; the policeman was
in for half an hour, mum. but we were
n the parlor. Statesman.
Mrs. Cobwigger-'9ave been reading
an article entitled viii the New Wo-
man Smoker What do you think, my
1ear?" Cobwigger-'If she does she'll
soon die out" Mrs. Cobwigger-"How
;o?' Cobwigger-'Because she'll buy
bargain counter cigars at 40 cents
box New York Journal.
"What would you do if | turned you
down." she shyly asked, as they sat on
lllt Gold' AhS tOuuS lliiu lOOheu
straight ahead, but said nothing After
a silence lasting about minute and
half shcnudged him with her elbow and
said, Didn't you hear my question:"
He looked around, alarmed Il beg
your pardon" he replied; II thought
you were addressing the gas.'-Puck.
Last night" said the Pessimist, Il
went all over this town trying to find Il
person who seemed to be enjoying him
SELF How many did you ind
Not one" said the Pessimist, gloomily.
IF you had come up to my room about
twelve-t thirty" remarked the Optimst,
you might have seen one" 'Humph,
said the Pessimist, land what were you
doing?" 81 was asleep" said the Op
timist.--Boston Budget.