Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-10-30

O.o.o.O.O.O.o.O.O.O.O.o.S
A oorpulent eitisen whose resi-
denee 10 in the eastern part of town
remained away from home one night
recently. He had not appraised his
wife of his intention to do %. She
sat up and waited for him until q
late hour, and when he did not re-
turn she grew alarmed and thought
several times Of asking the police IL
they had seen any thing of her hRs-
band.
The fact of the matter was, the
corpulent man fell In with o num-
ber Of his companions and they pro-
ceeded to have one Of their oldtime
celebrations. The consequence was
he got outside of more fire-water
shan he could conveniently navigate
with. It would never do for him to
attempt to enter his homo 'withous
arousing his wife, for as sure % no
tried that he would fall against tho
! furniture. And there would be q
sermon on the temperance question.
He took lodging at one of the ho-
l tells. he reached home about 9
o'clock she next morning feeling fine
and looking fresh-a marked CON-
trast with the appearance of his
wife's countenance when she greeted
him In the hallway r7
where have you been, sirf" she
inquired. folding her arms and look
ing him straight in the face.
.'Now, there you 20 again, my
DEAR" he replied. smiling. .'hying OF
the handle before you know what
you are huffy about"
"What do you mean by staying
away from home all night and leaving
me alone! T."
SNOW II you'll just give me an OPP
portunisy I'll explain. had little
business down town last night, you
know. Well, l was already to START
home. and WAS standing on the COR
ner waiting for . car, when q big
burly fellow walked up to me and
said: \ want you, SIR Ii Was about
1850. asked him what he meant
He simply opened up hts coat and
displayed . star, showing that he
was a detective. l did not want to
get into any trouble, SO went with
him. We went to hotel and were
assigned to Q room. I argued again
with him, and told him he mus: be
mistaken. He sized me up and said:
You're the man I'm looking for. all
right l asked him again what l
had done. and all he would tell me
was he wanted me in Chicago. He
locked the door and told me to 90 to
bed. l obeyed. He slept on the
floor. didn't sleep . wink worry.
ing over she affair. In the morn
ing I demanded of him what
charge he had against me. You are
the foreman Of Luetgert's sausage
factory he answered, pointing his
finger at me. and we want you in
Chicago. I laughed at him. aud told
him he was barking up the wrong
tree. Still he would not believe me.
l called up the clerk, and sent out
for . number of business men, who
identified me and proved to the de-
teotive that he had the wrong
man"
'And them" interrupted his
wife.
"And then he released me, and
here am"
"Hs didnt hurt you. did he.
desrP"
"Oh. no-only WAS awfully wor-
ried about you"
Then he had to tell the details of
tho story over Q few more times to
his wife. She sympathised with
him, and then thew kissed and
made up.
The corpllent mans wife told the
next door neighbor the story before
the day was over. Others got hold
OF il, and 1t was the talk of the
neighborhood for several days. Fin
ally some one got ON to ths true
facts In the ease. II travelled q fast
~ the other story.
The fat mans wife heard of 10.
Then 1t was that the trouble really
begun.
The police were called to . house
on Third avenue to dispatch .
''foaming mad dog" a the lady who
telePhoned the station termed Il.
Two officers were sent out to at
tend to the case. The lady Of the
house was at her wits end when
they arrived. The house was
| searched.
A weak bark, evidently that OF q
puppy. came from . bed room on the
second floor. The officers entered
the room. But the mad canine was
not there. Again the pipy voice
was heard. II came from under the
bed. One Of the blue coatb got down
on his knees. There was the little
poodle. He WAS about four inches
high and probably . month old.
And the poodle WAS shet.
=.
A Rock Island young maa who Is
exceedingly versatile % Q mimic,
caused CONSERVATION in the homo OF
Q prominent Davenport family where
he was calling recently. Several
young people wtre gathered in the
Parlor chatting. when suddenly the
Rock Ielander stretched ont his ls0s