Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1897-05-13

noon tea. Granted, however, that the
original statement Ia true, what be-
came OF our grandmothors when they
stood up and lost the moral influence
OF the chair? There ia no doubt about
1t, however, letting our grandmo;hers
nleep in peace, that there will never be
a comfortable chair--that is comfort
able for woman-until woman has
designed one. The masculine chair
designer concludes that all women'B
waists are of the same length, and the
consequence 10 that while one sylph-
ike maiden linda rather more of her.
self on the floor than shs desires. a
shorter sister is dangling in mid air.
Women understand the agonies endured
by other women in the chair Of day.
a woman Knows what it means at q
dinner to be placed in huge arm
chair, that, while it looks very his
toricai aud picturesque, is, to small
woman, veritable seat of torture. II
she wants to eat her dinner she has to
sit on its tip edge with no support from
it's hack; If she attempts 10 lean against
the back the seat is so frightfully long
and 30 much OF her gets on 1t, that she
looks aa il she had stretched herself
out for a nap. Then. OF course, some
big, horsy woman will credit her with
lacking manners and assuming, q
"slouchy" attitude.
Then there's that small gilt chair,
peculiar to drawing-rooms. A man
weighing over 100 forgets himself, sits
on 1t, breaks 1t. and has to send his
hostess $50 worth of flowers the next
day. Then there's that deceptive rock
ing chair, the>one which doesn't an
nounce to the world that it rocks. and
when you sit upon 1t, with certyin
emphasis, it goes flying back and
shows to the assemblaee the soles Of
your slippers. Then that creaky chair
Il never bear that crealSy chair that
l don't think OF young woman who
married an old man who had the
rheumatism dreadfully; for l have
always wondered If, when, wanting a
little money, she sat on his lap and put
her arms around his neck to prove Just
how much she loved him, he creaked
at the shoulders and knees and elbows
just as that type of chair does. There
lie one chair that is, without exception,
the most absolutely vicious imaginable
YOU have to have an acquaintance
VIVA ~ Jupt 40 yOu bo WIN NiCo. iOu
first endure, then pity. then embrace
or rather, u embraces you. 1t is built
to fold up in various positions and only
one OF the whole lot is comfortable, To
hide its crimes it is usually cushioned,
Perhaps strange man enters, looks
about your drawing room and sees the
same enticing air about that wretched
chair that vice possesses for its rotaries.
He goes toward it, and IN an easy man
ner seats himself on the end. Down
goes chair, man and all. If he's small.
he's buried under the cushions; If he's
large, it is interesting to hear the
wicBed words he says to increase ones
vocabulary. Occasionally, somebody
learns the one way to manage that
chair. You've got to lind the exact
centre of it. sit down there. and then
you are monarch of all you survey.
Neither man, woman nor spook, how
ever, retains remembrance as to
where the centre of that chair is, as
the cushions have horrid way OF
sliding round and making the middle.
or rather the find OF the middle, sub
ject for the X,rays. When that chair
was fret seen and bought by en- in
nocent woman, it was ACCOMPANIED by
printed testimonials from well-kuown
people who had found it comfortable
and couldn't live without it. Theae
we'll known people must have been
saints who thought modification good
for the soul, and the hard, hard floor,
place OF joy. The morality of the
ancient chair was great but the inn
morality of modern one cannot BIZ
surpassed.
All during Lent the smart girl has
been getting herself in condition from
the standpoint Of her vocabulary. to 60
on the other side. She says. Clancy"
for suppose and "guess. " She
would rather die than say "guess, -
because then anybody would know she
was one of those horrid Americans.
Anything from a dinner to ball she
calls Junction." personally, always
think Of funeral as, function. II
you meet her or the avenue, Just after
she's been to a wedding, and you ask
her about the brides dress, all that
she can draw out is, sit was an
awfully fetching frock. don't you
know ~ Clever ia favorite word
with her-the picture she admires is
"a clever bit of canvass. If you ask
hoi u Blu piu15 touuio 5ud says OBJ,
but / am not at all clever at it, Then,
il she's disappointed about anything,
it is ''such a blow" And tina opposite
to this is "such pleasure. She never
has heard of store; she buys her be-
longings at "a rather decent chop. -
And if you ask her about dance she
says, "Oh. had rather fetching
time, for there were lots Of delightful
men out last night" She's good biz
of fool, but she's funny; ard there
fore, she does her duty in life It's
more than amusing to hear her say
"stop attome', when she means "stay
at home" For certain glibnsss is
necessary to achieve success in this
last combination of two words. Still,
there's nothing absolutely wicked in
what she's doing, and she will get over
it after awhile. The American girl oil
the best breed has these attacks Of
folly just as full bred pup has the
mango. Very simple medicine cures
both diseases. dose OF good sense
will finish up the first. and little
buckthorne will straighten out the
second. Believe it'll assure you it's
true On the word Of dog doctor and Of
Bah.
Interesting Statistics.