davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

An amusing story is told in connection
with conference that occurred on the
line of the Illinois Central railroad be-
tween representa- ives of the Mississippi
and Louisiana boards of health while the
fever was running high. Two trains
bearing the officials of both states met ct
a lonely sidetrack and the Mississippians
informed the Louisianians that the con-
ference must be held at a distance Of
sixty feet. This was agreed to, and the
parley proceeded, the distance between
the parties being strictly observed. In
tn course of the talk on health matters,
which is rather dry subject, someone on
the Louisiana side produced a bottle Of
whisky. took a sWig and passed it to his
comrades, who repeated the operation.
The Mississippians saw what was going
on, smacked their lips, and boldly adj
vanced ten feet. Once more the bottle
passed from Louisianian to Louisianan.
This was more than the Mississippians
could stand, and they pushed their line
forward twenty more feet, faltered and
then charged with whoop. In less time
then it takes to tell it Mississippi aid
Louisiana were clasped in each others
embrace and the latter, approaching the
formers capacity, produced several bot
ties, and nobody thought about germs.
We relate this pleasant little story merely
to show that John Barleycorn is I'ower,
and can conquer even the fear of yellow
fever.-NeW Orleans States.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Before a fire brigade can start for a
fire in Berlin the members all fall in line
in military fashion and salute their cap
tain
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Compexona defects are eradtceted, not hidden. by
GlennS Sulphur Soap.
HIPS Hair and Whisker I've, black brown E0c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29
ONR ENJOYS

Both the method and results when
Syrup of Figs is taken; it is pleasant
and refreshing to the taste, and acts
gently yet promptly on the Kidneys,
Liver and Bowels, cleanses the sys-
tenn effectually, dispels colds, head.
aches and fevers and cures habitual
constipation. Syrup of Figs is the
only remedy of its kind ever pro-
duced, pleasing to the taste and &C.
ceptable to the stomach, prompt in
its action and truly beneficial in its
effects. prepared only from the most
healthy and observation-disclosures its
many excellent qualities commend it
to all and have made it the most
popular remedy known.
Syrup of Figs is for sale in so
cent bottles by all leading drug
gists. Any reliable druggist who
may not have it on hand will pro-
cure it promptly for any one who
wishes to try it. Do not accept any
substitute.
CALIFORNIA FIG syrup co.
SAN FRANCISCO. CAL.
LOUISVILLE. ~. NEW YORK, K.X.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

ga fine dog, that, of yours. What's
his name?' HAS none, nor needs one;
he doesn't obey anyway"
Bla etter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Maine has eighteen starch factories,
the largest number of any state in the
Union.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

The New York State Society for the
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals states
that during the past year at Buffalo 49,
900 sheep and hogs have been taken out
OF the cars dead, and more than 5000
have been removed at the same place in
diseased or disabled condition; more
over, these animals were sold for public
food and consumption
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

In Cheshire about 1000 tons O.
cheese are made annually.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Between the ticks of watch a ray of
light could move eight times around the
globe.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

dent in the trial of a lawsuit in Judge
Henry's court yesterday made the jury
burst out laughing. Ella Downend was
suing Kansas City for $4,000 because of
step in the sidewalk on Twenty third
street, near Woodland. Attorney George
Jones, representing the city, said all
through the trial that the step was no
more than the step to the witness chair
in front of the jury, and person would
be no more liable to stumble over it.
"And you know, gentlemen, that no
person would be likely to trip over that
step there" said Mr.. Jones, pointing to
the step before him.
A moment later Mr.. Jones started to
go to the witness chair and stumbled
over that very step and fell sprawling.
"Now," said Mr.. Gragan, as he read
the headlines, chow could there be a
ued after reading a little. 'Sure, |
fought it mean the man was kilt twice"
Indianapolis Journal.
A Georgia drummer stopped at the
town of Geneva the other day, and was
met by the negro porter of the hotel,
and the following conversation was the
result:
BOSS, you gwine to de hotel
eyes; where is the 'busT'
"'Bus? We don't have en-"
"Well. where is the street carr"
"Street car! We don't have dem nuth-
err
"Well how am / going to get up town,
do you suppose?
up town? Boss, you's already up
town, and dis is it right here"
And then the porter turned to q COM
panion and whispered:
Dis man come frum a fur ways; he
des doan know muffin! '-Atlanta COnsti-
tuition.
Mr.. Noowed (cauuiously)- "Lovey-dov-
ey, what makes this turkey taste SO
queer?" Mrs. Noowed (weeping)-"Well,
darling, l stuffed it with cranberries, just
as everybody does, and it is isn't my
fault if it hasn't come out all right
Brooklyn Life.
The newly arrived soul was paying his
first visit to the Cave of the Winds, in
the upper realms of space, and his astral
body quivered and shook like a pendent
ribbon in the maelstrom Of sound waves.
It was a horrid din. Shrieks, walls,
screeches, squeaks and crashes, in ma jor
and minor keys made up the awful dis
cord.
''You don't seem to mind it much,' said
his ghostly guide.
NO" said the tourist shade. "You see,
while on earth L became hardened co all
sorts of discords. l managed college
glee club for three seasons. Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

There are in the English army 1886
troop horses, 100 mules and 1896 charg-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29
SPINNING WHEEL.

THE LAST SUMMONS.
I would not die in springtime,
When nature first aWakeS-
When men get out their wheelbarrows,
And spades, and hoes, and rakes,
And twist their backs, and plant their
seeds,
And wait to see them sprout,
While yet they stone their neighbors hens
That come to scratch them out.
I would not die in summer,
When everything is ripe,
And fallen man is writing
In raw cucumbers grippe;
When baseball crankS are talking,
And all the landscape DER
Is sprinkled thick with flowers
And garden sass galore.
/ would not die in autumn
When football has the call,
And lOng-haired youths are training
Some other youths to maui;
When politics are booming
Thanksgiving close at hand,
And cider mills are running
Throughout the happy land.
I would not die in winter,
Fen though it be so drear,
For then, you see, there's Christmas,
With all it's goodly cheer.
No, I'd not die in winter,
Nor summer, spring, nor fall
And come to think it over,
l would not die at all.
Boston Post.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

TO CURE a COLD IN ONE DAY.
Take Laxative Brono Quinine Tablets All Druggists
refund the money II 1t fails to cure 25c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Fort Halleck. in Nevada, is To be
sold at public auction next February
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29
Whaling Fleet in Danger.

It is predicted that the vessels Of the
whaling fleet, most Of whose underwriters
are IN San Francisco, have been caught in
the ice and some may not last through the
siege. Danger also threatens those who
neglect what are called '.trifng' ailments,
for they may not last through the crisis.
Resort to Hostetter's Stomach Bitters at
once for incipient rheumatism, malaria, con-
situation, NERVOUSNESS and kidney complaint.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Senator Davis of Minnesota, in speak
ing of Hawaiian annexation, of which
he is, by the way, a strong advocate,
says: 1--WE stand in the vestibule of a
century full of mira cles.' This brings
to mind that other famous mixed meta
phor of the senator's, in which he said:
''As l look back upon the untrodden
paths Of the future l seem to behold the
footsteps of an unseen hand. "-Burling-
ton (Vt) Free Press.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

In Michigan shingles are made Of
pine stumpS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

This is how a native of Buluwayo de-
scribes a railway engine: It's a huge ami
NAL belonging to the white man. 1t has
only one eye (the head lamp. It feeds
on fire and hates work. When the white
man pumps it to make it work it screams.
1T comes from, somewhere, but no one
knows from whence.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Young Symple was at grand dinner
the other evening and tried to make an
impression on well-known lawyer who
sat next to him. But the man of law
did not appreciate the attentions of his
neighbor.
81 suppose you gentlemen have some
strange cases to deal with at times?' OBJ
served Symple.
-Yes," answered the lawyer.
NSome very puzzling cases. said the
young man, trying again; leases that al
most confuse you, and-er -"
''Just So" said the legal gentleman, a
look of determination overspreading his
countenance. Il knew a man once who
had a case to deal with of the kind you
mention. He gave his full and undivided
attention to that case during the whole
Of one night, and when he had finished he
really did not know which side of the
case he was on, he was SO confused
Really exclaimed Symple, delighted
at having drawn the lawyer at last.
'Most interesting! What kind of case
was it?'
sit was case of champaign replied
the other.
He was left in peace after that-Pear-
sons.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Not long ago Cleveland man received
a letter from a lawyer. 1t reached him
in the afternoon, and when he glanced it
over he found that he couldn't make head
or tail to it. 1t was only brief little
note on slip of paper, but it held that
mans close attention for an hour or
more.
''Well by George he said, "this beats
me" 1t certainly did, for when it was
time 70 go home he was still studying on
He thrust the puzzler in his pocket and
sought the hOmeWard- bound motor. Right
after dinner he took the letter out and
went to work on it again Pretty soon
his wife wanted to know what he was
doing.
Don't bother me-" he said, shortly.
But she insisted, and finally he showed
her the note. She looked it over with
many Dear, dears," and well wells"
and finally she looked up and added:
why don't you take it over the Mr..
Immersion, the druggist? They say he
can read anything"
SO the man of the house put on his hat
and overcoat and stepped around the cor
ner, where the red and green lights glared
behind the big windows.
''Hello, Immersion" he cried, ''can you
make this out?'
And he handed him the lawyers note.
line druggist IOOk IL anu SlduCcu IL over
Then he went little closer to the near
est gas burner and looked at it again.
After close scrutiny he marched to the
rear of the store and disappeared behind
partition. The man who was thirsting
for information wondered at this a little,
but he somehow connected the druggists
disappearance with a possible desire to
use magnifying glass. Presently the
druggist came back again. He had q
good-sized bottle in his hand.
There you are" he said.
whats this?' inquired the other man.
''Why, your tonic" said the druggist.
'Who said anything about tonic?"
''Why you handed me the prescription"
''The prescription?'
''Yes, here it is"
"Whatv roared the other man. Did
you think that was prescription? It's
a letter from my lawyerp'
And he went out into the night, roaring
| with delight, and thoroughly convinced
that the joke was very much on the doc
| tors.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

The Kansas City Journal tells this
story concerning the trial of a case in
the circuit court in that city: An Incl
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

1t is said to have been the rector of a
parish in Texas who was revising his
sermon one Sunday morning when the or
ganist called at his study and asked:
"What shall [ play?'' 81 don't know y
said the rector absent-mindedly, what
kind of a hand have you got?"
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

Mr. Noowed (cautiously)-'Lovey-dov-
ey, what makes this turkey taste so
queer?" Mrs. Noowed (weeping)-"Well
darling, l stuffed it with cranberries, just
fault if it hasn't come out all right
Brooklyn Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-12-29

the headlines, chow could there be a
double murder?' Oh, l see," he contin-
ued after reading a little. 'Sure, [
fought it mean the man was kilt twice. T"
INDIANAPOLIS Journal
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
us,.,,on Of Catarrh TO Con,umpiion

uo,a,,on Of Catarrh 10 Con,u piio"
When catarrh has existed in the nose,
head and upper parts oil the 'nroa'
any length OF time, the patient living ~
n district where people are suplec' "
catarrhal affections, and the disease mas
been left uncured, the catarrh almost III
variblv extends from the windpipe anu
tbence into the bronchial tubes. THESE
Tubes convey the air into the different
parts OF the lungs. The pain when ac,
companies this condition is oil o"
character, felt in the chest behino nc
breast-bone, or else it is present uhue'
the shoulder blade. The cough tna' oo-
curs at this time is dry, comes at vary
inc intervals, is hacking in character
and is usually most troublesome IN tne
morninp upon arising or on going TO peu
ot night. This peculiar character OIL
cough is often the first evidence tna'
catbarral disease is extending into Tue
lupps. About this time you VIII nave
sbortness OF breath and palpitatlon VI
Tho heart which always goes with con
a,mn,;on. You should then immediate
~ call on DR. S. CLAY TODD and be
will give y ,u relief. Many go prepared
90 stav a week in Calumet and re
Give Dr.. Todd's personal attention VIII
tho result OF being restored to health.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
an Can re Cured IL They Apply soon

This Young lady had lost all hopes OF
ever regaining her health. The skill OF
Dr Todd end little medicine start her
IN the right track she says; l bad III,
GERS in the stomach and liver, yomiteo
after eating; | doctored with i've DOC
tors without relief, have been sick or :,
years wear the last year very sick, and had
lost all hope Of help, l had terrible thirst
ieIt II could lie in the river and the wa,
ter run right through me, wonld be all
right, nv stomach was terribly pioateu,
nss and water raised in my mouth, great
main in the side and stomach and awIui
,veak and nervous. | was taken TO III.
: Claw Todd February 20 and he gave
mo- one treatment and told me TO re-
turn in three days and | would be better,
and / feel so much better, don't ieel IKE
The same person, l don't know when L
ielt 40 well and do not vomit any more,
or have TO drink water, as nave no
thirst: on the way home | began TO get
better Notwithstanding the rougnness .,
the roads, the pains all Lett me ana nave
not since returned. Sox
Four and one-haf miles northwest OIL
IaPorte. Ind, March 3. 1896.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Consumption cured.

He said he felt very much discouraged
and so did his friends and the physici ms,
who had done their best without being
able to give him any relief. He says:
II had consumption since last Septem-
Der, falling very rapidly, employed three
physicians without relief, until l was
taken 10 DR.. Todd's Office last Friday by
nv father and friend. DR.. Todd gave
me a treatment and told me would be
better the next day and | was very much
better. The change took place at q
O'Clock that afternoon and have Deen
getting better rapidly ever since. now,
tbe third day after the treatment | have
scarcely apv of the burning pain in my
lungs and | cough and raise but little.
am gaining in strength and feel better n
every way. | feel like new man. !
even whistled a tune this morning.
LoRAN KEEN
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
And Noise In the Head Cured

From State Journal, Feb. %: | here
by certify that had catarrh, PAD lss.e
in the mouth, and noise in my head iour
vears causing great distress. Degan
treatment with DR.. =. Clay Todd, teo 90,
and am pleased to say that my heal'n
;s fnlly restored in every respect, anu
have no noises in my head ana no ca
tarrh. MRS. SARAii aLpEn W.,
He save: | have been troubled WIN
SHINE trouble over two years grauuany,
growing worse, and was AFRAID l wouiu
have to give up my work entireNi Ior a
month it was growing rapidly worse,
when on the 10Th OF Feb, lS9O, peSan
treatment with DR.. s. Clay Todd, anu nc
has helped me Immediately, ana l haye
;mnroved ever since, and now l nave no
more main and | work every day at tue
gas works. hENnl nd
Feb. IA. 1896.
A friend of the above gentleman began
.raatment with DIR. s. Clay Todd last
Saturday night for the same complaint
ond Ia ALREADY better-thirty-si hours
February IT, 1896. ,.u Todd
One tells another-Dr. 5: Clay ioua,
noor Cir. 7 am troubled with the glands
~ nv neck: there lisa lump under my "a"
- The left OF my chin about the size o,
GOOSE egg: a singing pain runs from tne
snmn to INV ear and down my neck. MISE
E,ta Jobnson informs me she has SINH
io y case TO mine. She says she is taking
treatment from you and deriving grea'
benefit. Let me know what you can &c
''' Respectfully,
john Braniff,
512 Taylor street, South Bend ind'
February 2, 1895.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
slortnoss of hreath ralptaton OF heart may mean

weakness shoness breath
in
endn ute
ions " WV
hstrange
Ire
ndbnnat in
Iyou
New
10 n Vi 'N"'
onre
Run nui''
nosyr
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Terrible BackaehG Cured.

had a terrible steady backache Tor
four years without any let up at all;
sometimes could hardly straighten up:
Could not ride in a wagon on account Oi
the greater pain from the ar 1.-THE wagon
and have walked rather than ride. |
have now been under the treatment OF
DIR. S. TODD, 16 n. Division street,
Grand Rapids, Mich, ten days, and yes
terday rode twenty-five miles and nine
miles today in wagon without pain at
all-the first tine for four years:
would cheerfulIy recommend ID. Todd TO
those who have great pains in their back
AVERY DowNER.
October Is. 1890. Alpine Mich.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Deafness Stealsona Man

rodualv that he finds himself unable to hear ordinary
conversation without warning, except ringing Ut roar
inc in the head These noises in the head are caused oy
ourne Caarrb Discharges from EarT' Nervous DEPUTY
ddon shock or cold etc, and always lead to deaf
ness. The above and Blindness, Sore Eyes Dnne'' "
SIGHT rsnuated Lids and all diseases oil the Eye ana Ear
ann ALWAYS be cured by Prof. s. Clay Todd NJ d. OF franc
ponds Mich now at the New jewell House, Calumet Mich
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17


GLOW ulcers mouth far back
will have cold
e then begin to raise foth then slight
Thereis
midst be has had experience in all the world hospital
practical knowledge the treatment required and has the remedies
before
Emse Calumet Imme relief and
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Catarrl,.

Rev. Weber, the great evange,ls, y, te ,rpb
eripg from a dreadful case VI '"' -
He has been n great sufferer; nth
DR. s. Clay Todd, Grand Rapids Mic H. =
NV DEAR BRoTHER:-I do believe .na h
medicine OF yours will cure any ca' Won
7 am better now than ever before Won,
deriul meetings here. Address Me,s a.
Adrian. Mich, care OF Lawrence ho"s"
A Yours in Jesus, u
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Deaf From Infancy.

He says: "When was too small 10
remember they say had good deal Ot
earache; Ihaye been hard OF hearing S'Hee
can remember. ] nave been under The
treatment OF DR.. s. Clay Todd since FEB;
), 1896. and am pleased to say that A
have been greatly benefited. can hear
ordinary conversation. | am 81 years
old. IL: T.: hoSiL 1Hoe
Michigan City, Ind, Feb. Ia, 1895
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
CATARRH CURED.
Have You Catarrb Z

Have you pains oyer the eyes?
Are your eyes watery?
Have YOU a dry cough at night!
Ia there a continuous dropping oil mu-
Gus in the back OF your throat?
You can be cured quickly and perma-
nently by DIR. S. Clay Todd, now at the
New Jewell House.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
From the JanesyiiIe Gazette.

have had the Sciatic Rheumatism six
wears. gradually growing worse. My
right leg has become shortened 80 thas
I have had to have my boot heel raised
70 two and one-half inches. began tax
ING treatment from DR.. 5. Clay TodG
Nav 81. and am pleased TO say his medi.
c,nes are the only medicines that helped
me, In three weeks my LEG is heightened
three-quarters Of an inch, and | have
better use OF my limb. | could not walk
upstsirs one step after another, but can
Nv A. y. FAR BANK,
limo % 1887. GAINESVILLE, Wis
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
SHE COULD NOT STAND ALONE.
AFTER the First Days Treatment she
Could Hold Her Feet Fiat
Against the Floor.

"My daughter, Eva, aged 4 years was
nervous and irritable, and disturbed US
at night. She moaned and eranped
with pain, and was very nervous, ana
never walked or TAXED, and could not
stand alone until taken to DIR. ;. Clay,
Todd. He treated her the evening OF
February %; that night che slept all II
NIGHT for the first time, and has slept all
nigbt ever since, and has no more pains'
cramps or nervousness. The last lew
davs she has been saying few words,
and today she walked a ew steps. .,
anu ''"' Levi d. Schoff,
10 | street, LaPoite, Ind,
March Z. 1896.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Ctarrh Bronchitis Consumption all Lung Diseases cured
DIR. =. CLAY TODD,
rhe Famous Nerve Specialist, Grand
Rapids, Mich.


Rapids. Mich.
Cures Paralysis, Twitching, Pinching
DR. Prickling Sensations, Tremelous Feel
] gs, Back OF Head Ache, Back OF Neck
Pains, sometimes running down the arms
r back, Dizziness and other symptoms
Fading to paralysis, Nervous Debility
ind Female complaints and Chronic Dis
bases.
Consultation free and confidential.
4 No charge for services until. cured, six
months.
Directions in all languages.
| Rheumatism alwayscured, Catarrh ana
cad Noises cured, DroDsy cured, FITS
ind all Nerve and Brain Diseases cured:
Eye and Ear Diseases cured, Nerves oil
Tongue and Nerv. and Muscles OF Limbs
being Developed.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
III unntnre in the scrotum cured.

Our little boy was cured oil rupture Ia
Scro tum by DIR. 5. Clay Todd. we are
so glad because johnnie was always 10
40 much pain, and cried all the time: put
now his rupture is all gone and ne Is al
ways happy and runs about and Jumps
and PLAYS. Mr.. AND MRS. JOIN PENS.
los Jeanette St., Grand Rapids, Micn'
March o. 1895.
The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-04-17
Born Deaf aud Dumb

have been visiting my brother, MI
Dirk Van Zomeren, OF Fremont, Newago
county. Mich. His daughter Wilkie
conld rot hear or talk. but she had two
months trea meme of DR.. 5, Clay TODD,
and can now hear and talk.
LEvINUs VAN ZoMEREN,
Cooper. Kalamazoo Co., Mich Dec. 10,