The Marietta journal. [volume] (Marietta, Ga.) 1866-1909, 1897-05-20
NONSENSE ON THE GRIP.
Hints to Passengers" Which Puzzled q
Mild Grammarian.


Mild Grammarian.
The mau who had studied gram
mar once ald was net particularly
ashamed of it boarded the Westport
car at Twelfth street and began in
an absentminded way to read the
signs, says the Kansas City Star.
He ran his eye languidly along the
row of placards and back again,
then began at the first and repeated.
1t was tiresome, but there was pos
itively nothing else to look at, and
he swore, in excellent English, albeit
that he would never buy an arti-
Gle that he saw there advertised.
The car stopped at Fifteenth street
to let on a fat woman and three ne
groes. The man who had studied
grammar ran his eye down the line
of placards again. He was bored.
Suddenly he started, CLEAN of
triumph in his eye.
Conductor" said he, "do l have
to do what that card says?"
mo, you don't have to-"
What would happen if 1 didn't9"
"Well, if you jumped off while
the car was running and got hurt,
why, you couldn't collect damages
from the company"
$50 if I want to collect damages
I have to obey that sign9"
"That's it."
The fat woman stared, and the
negroes grinned comprehensively.
wondered what was up.
The car switched around a bend.
Conductor, have business on
Twenty seventh street." said the
grammarian.
The car stopped there.
The grammarian sat immovable
as the sphinx.
well, this is Twenty seventh
street." said the conductor.
well, I supposed as much"
He did not move
Come! Hurry upr'
well, I'm ready. I'm waiting to
see how you go about it. Do you
lift me up off the seat while the
gripman pulls the car out from un-
der me?''
The fat woman got up and walked
to the farther end of the seat.
"Or do you open up the floor of
the car and allow me to stand on
the track while the car is pulled
away2"
The negroes began to show the
whites of their eyes. Still wonder
ed
"See here!" said the conductor.
"What-are you crazy?"
mot in the least, :" said the gram
marian. II am simply trying to
conform to the rules of your CON-
pany. Now, my friend, do you want
to earn from your employers med
al for scholarship? No2 Well, Twill
do this much for your benighted
mind and charge you nothing for
it. That sign up there reads, Pas
sengers must not get off the cars
while in notion That is wrong.
1t should read this way" And he
wrote upon pad, Passengers,
while in motion, must not get off
the cars" you see, that other is
an awkward construction.
1T is, is it2" replied the conduct
or. He was mad, and we all saw it.
well, I'll tell you thing or two"
Grabbing the pad, he wrote, PAS
sengers must not, while in motion,
get off the cars. "
He showed it under the nose of the
grammarian.
How do you like these9" he
shouted.
The mans hair stood on end. The
negroes grinned. Istepped out on to
the platform.
You blank, blank idiot" began
both the conductor and his man to-
gether. That was all l could distin-
guish of the balance of the CONVEX
sation. The remainder was heter-
ogeneous combination of motions,
cars, passengers, whites, other
whiles, afterwhiles, beforewhiles
and a long train of explosives which
floated out into the open air. I fed.
Tnvs tho X a;sar,a Cnoa TO- Tl,o-:4-