The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-04-08

they were doing big thing. The late or
dtnance indiots a heavy penalty for any
such tonfoolery in future and we propose
to see it rigidly enforced. 1t has also
been a favorite pRstime to shoot at the
panes of glass in the mayors Office on the
second floor, and if the mayor. (who is our
self was in the fun was all the greater.
We want everybody in town to be happy,
and we don't want to crowd the boys too
close. But the next critter who fires at q
window when we are inside must take his
chances. We shall raise the sash and re-
turn the fire, and if he suddenly feels as if
a redhot iron had been jabbed into him
he will find doctor right around the cor
ner to explain the symptoms and probe for
the bullet.
We Humbly Apologize.
A little thing happened last Monday
afternoon for which we were in no wise to
blame and yet for which we felt it our
duty to apologize to our fellow townsmen.
Ten days ago our esteemed contemporary
saw 40 pound keg of ink delivered at The
Kicker office, and all at once. He has new
er been financially able to purchase over
ten pounds of ink at one time in all his
newspaper experience, and the sight of
that keg, which had been paid for cash
down, rendered the old reprobate half
crazy. For about the hundredth time in
the last five years he determined to assas-
sinate US, and as we left the mayors Office
for the postoff1ce he took up our trail and
began shooting. We heard the reports of
his gun, but gave them no attention, and
it was not until the critter had fired 16
bullets at US that we became aware of his
presence. Then we suddenly lost control
of our temper and turned on him and
picked him up and damned him into an
empty barrel and spent five minutes cuff
ing his ears. He claims to be badly hurt
in the spine, but aside from this we feel
sorry that the thing happened. 1t was our
duty to let him shoot at us as often and as
long as he pleased. When he gets well,
we will take a day off and sit on q box in
the alley, and he may shoot at us until he
gets tired
No Lick Here.
Our predecessor in the postoffice made a
practice of licking on postage stamps for
all persons who requested it, and one Of
the first changes we made after taking pos
session was in regard to this matter. We
had printed and hung up in the corridor
half dozen different signs of ''No Lick
Here" and Notwithstanding the vigorous
kick on the part of the public we have
strictly adhered to the change. Tuesday
evening, we were temporarily in charge
of the stamp window, a buffer from New
Mexico handed in two letters and four
stamps and commanded US to lick. We
knew by the CLINT ia his eye that he was
reaching down for his gun, but we had
one on a shelf beside US and had him COW
cred before he could wink twice. He was
somewhat surprised and disappointed at
first. But We give him credit for recogniz-
ing the situation after a bit and backing
off as gracefully as possible under the cir
cumstanoes. As postmaster we were will
ing to oblige all corners in everything per
tanning to business. But our duty ends
with selling the stamps. We can't lick
'em gracefully, and we dom mean to try it.
No Place Like Home.
We like the location of the town of Pres
colt, and we believe it one of the healthi-
est spots in the territory, but we wouldn't
put in week there for barrel of money.