davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The record-union., 1897-08-23
Pulling.

The late Sir John Briggs, in his "Ex-
perience of Sixty five Years of Naval
ADMINISTRATIONS relates the CONVEX
satfon of two oldfashioned Sea Lords.
Sir John Beresford and Sir Charles
Rowley, when confronted with an ex-
animation paper in gunnery, then a
novelty: DO you know it is very
strange, but 1 don't understand all this.
Pray, sir, what is the meaning of the
word 'impact'?" asked Sir Charles, ad-
dressing the chief clerk, who replied:
I rather think 1T means the force of a
blow" He then said to Sir John Beres-
ford: What, in the name of good for
tune, is' meant by initial velocity o.
Sir John replied: 'I1l be hanged if I
know, but l suppose it is some of Tom
Hastings scientific bosh'' The two
jolly old admirals then proposed to the
First Lord to abolish the gunnery ship
Excellent, the source of all the trouble.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
POP AND THE PEACH.
The Boy Saw Them and His Cam
era Did the Rest.

There was no denying that he was
bright boy. Indeed it was that very fact
that made the old gentleman nervous
when he saw him looking at him so in
tently.
Say, pop said the boy at last. with
that lack of reverence that is born in a
boy and assiduously cultivated later.
"WelI?" returned the old gentleman
Saw you down on the beach during
the bathing hour this morning. ex-
planned the boy.
Very likely" replied the old gentle
man as calmly as was possible under
the circumstances.
Nom had a headache and couldn
leave the hotel you know
''I recall it, said the old gentleman.
beginning to scowl.
Saw you sitting up on the beach with
that peach from New York in the light
blue bathing suit" persisted the boy.
"Oh. l guess you must be mistaken,
Willie" suggested the old gentleman.
You mistook someone else for me-
"Oh, guess not returned the boy
cheerfully. She's the one nom said
ought to be ashamed 10 wear such
a suit into the water
IT know the one you mean, Willie, >
replied the old gentleman conciliating-
ly, but I guess you didn't see me with
her"
You guess again" retorted Willie. I
saw you on the beach With her, and
afterward I saw you out in the surf.
jumping her over the waves. Oh. I
guess I didn't make any mistake! I'm
Just going up stairs TO develop the pic
lures"
''The what?''
Pictures Had my camera down on
the beach this morning. you know. Oh,
you don't know how funny you looked,
pop! I'll bet mom'n roar when she sees
these
The record-union., 1897-08-23
A GOOD CITIZEN GONE.
Death in This City Yesterday Of
Clarence Nelson.

The many friends of Clarence Nelson,
the we'll known harness and saddlery
manufacturer. VIII be pained to learn
that he died yesterday. His death.
however, was not unexpected, as his
health had been failing for some time
past.
Though born in Connecticut, Mr.. Mel
son had passed most of his life in TINS
city, his father having been prominent
among the earlier citizens here.
Deceased was prominent in Masonic
circles, having been Past Master OF
Tehama Lodge, No. 3; Past High
Priest Of Royal Arch Chapter No. >,
and Past. Commander of Sacramento
Commandery No =, Knights Tenplar.
Hewas an exemplary citizen, husband
and father, and his friends were as
numerous as his acquaintances. he
leaves a wife and three children.
The record-union., 1897-08-23

he was maddened by the performance
of q cock that crowed inconceivably
early. After a period of prolonged
suffering ii occurred to him, by a fine
effort of induction, that if the early
cock were tied by the legs to its perch
it would be unable to crane itself up
for the act of Growing. So. Mr.. Spen-
Ger got up. and with his pocket hand
kerchief tied the bird firmly to it's
perch, and then went back again TO
bed. Whether the cock went on crow
ing is not recorded. but Mr.. Spencer.
confident in the soundness Of his the
ory slept-GaZette
The record-union., 1897-08-23
STOLEN WHEAT.
Two Men Arrested for Taking a
Bag Last Night.

Officers Bagley and Fitzgerald last
night arrested Billy McCants and Frank
Jackson for the theft Of sack OF
wheat from the San Joaquin Steamboat
Company wharf, which they tried TO
sell. The lads were evidently "onto"
the wheat boom.
They were found in the domicile OF
the much-published Grace Cook, and
taken to jail.
Jackson is the man who recently had
one of his hands badly cut in row on
the water front but never told who
cut him.
There have been frequent thefts OF
wheat from the wharves of late, ana
the officers now believe they know VINO
were the purloiners.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
Story of Herbert Spencer.

An entertaining bit OF gossip is being
told about Herbert Spencer. 1t is re-
ported that the great philosopher, al
ways highly sensitive to noises, is now
suffering greatly from the whistles oil
locomotives. There is nothing exceed
ingly funny in that, but the story that
follows has its amusing phases. Some
years ago, during stay in Scotland
The record-union., 1897-08-23
Delicate Accommodation.

Did you say that this is to be a
wedding PRESENT. asked the clever
salesman in the china store.
mo. / didn't say anything of the
kind" replied the man who was max
ing the purchase. And | don't see
that it makes any difference to you"
Not the slightest" was the reply
Il merely thought you might like to
have US take off the price mark and
paste on another with a higher figure
on t"-Washington Star
The record-union., 1897-08-23
He Was a Victim.

Did you ever suffer from writer's
cramp?" asked a bookkeeper who was
conversing with a friend of some lit
erary pretensions.
Writer'S cramp!" echoed the other
I've suffered from it for years and
yearsl The papers I write for are near
ly always too cranped for space tC
| use any of my stuff. ''-Yo Youths' Com
DaniOu
The record-union., 1897-08-23
An Endorsement.

DO you regard that politician as s
reliable man inquired Senator Sorg
huns friend.
''Renable?" echoed the Senator 'F
should say so. If that man were Il
give me a tip on the market I'd back i
with my last dollar. Washington Star
The record-union., 1897-08-23
NEW E1rNNy PHYSICIAN.

And now, my dear madame, if you
Will briefly tell me what you have al
ready done for your Illness"
Madame-Europe and North Africa
Detroit Journal
The record-union., 1897-08-23
AN EXPEnIE.NT

He-Let's go TO the roof garden to-
night.
She-I don't dare leave the baby,
dear
He-Well, / tell you what we will do
I'll go.-Life
The record-union., 1897-08-23
A MAN OF LEISURE.

Johnny Squanch-My father is car
penter: he builds houses. Your father
don't do anything, does he?
Bobby Thickneck-He's a Democratic
office holder, but he amt worked mueh
lately.-Puck.
The record-union., 1897-08-23

Rebecca-yadder, Chacob has bledg-
ed me his love
Rheinstein (absent- - Al
vat per cend, Repecca Judge.
The record-union., 1897-08-23

Why is it that you never build cas-
ties in the air, Grumpy
Because YOU can't rent the things.
Detroit Free Press.
The record-union., 1897-08-23

Assorted waters. genuine water ices
and pure ice cream. made of the finest
fruit juices at Barton's. SO j and 42G
K streets.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
Celebrating.

Dress ship and fire the national sa-
lute,' roared the captain of the United
States battleship.
Aye! aye!" cried the bo's'n.
when this ship reaches port without
going aground and otherwise avoids
accidents, | want the nation to know
it..-North American.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
EDITORIAL HUMOR.

To Tramp-Man, man, where is your
pride?
He-Hunger led me to swallow it,
mum.-Brooklyn Life
The record-union., 1897-08-23

The Croesus Type of Physician tovef-
heard in drug store)| don't believe
in changing doctors all the time. L
would keep the same doctor, even II ne
got as old as Croesus.-Crypt.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
MONTE UIsTn

THE PICTURESQUE RESORT OF
the Sierras; under new management and
ownership, good table; delightful climate;
elevation $500 feet; good hunting and fish,
ing: excellent mineral spring water. pure
milk and cream Monte Vista table and
service has pleased each guest. THOMAS
p. MORGAN, Monte Vista, Dutch Flat,
Cal MWF
The record-union., 1897-08-23
Two Kinds.

| The breakers by the ocean strand
| In two divisions are construed
| The ones that break upon the sand
| And those who break the summer
dude -Pittsburg News.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
Up 70 Date.

There's not a thing her beauty mars,
She has most all she wishes,
She loves to grasp the handle bars,
But she viii not handle dishes
-Pittsburg News
The record-union., 1897-08-23
LIFEs LITTLE RUMPLES.

'Madge is either awful careless or she
is engaged
What do you mean?'
Why, she says she can wear a
shirt waist but one ay''-Detroit Free
Press.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
SPECIAL NOTICES.

yehicles-Baker & Hamiiton-Ha
Carts, Buggies, Carriages, Phaetons. Balm
Farm and Header Wagons Wholesale
Hardware. Send for catalogue.
MRS wINSLOw-S SOOTHING SYRUP
has been used for over fifty years by mill
ions of mothers for their children while
the child, softens the gums. anays pain.
cures wind collie, regulates the bowels, and
is the best remedy for diarrhea. whether
sale by druggists in every part of the
world. Be sure and ask for Mrs Wins
lows Soothing Syrup. Twenty-Five cents
The record-union., 1897-08-23


He-Do you believe in palmistry-that
you can tell anything by the hand?
She-Certainly. Now, for example, IL
I had a certain kind of ring ON GER
tain finger on my left hand, people
would know / was aged.-Tfd- Bits.
Bits.
Young Lady-You are a wonderfui
master of the piano, hear?
Professor Won Spieler (hired Tor the
occasion)-I blay aggompaniments
zometimes.
Young Lady-Accompaniments 10
singing?
Professor Won Spieler-Aggompani-
ments to gonversation.-Tid- d-Bfts.
American Boy-Papa, what's an ab-
solute monarchy?
Papa-A country ruled by king
whose authority is unlimited. His
word is law, and the people must do
his bidding. Do you understand?
American Boy-Oh, say; a sort Of a
political bcss-New York Weekly.
Philanthropist-Yo appear to be III
very Strengthened circumstances, my
poor man Are you very, very sad?
The Poor Man-Oh, no; I am conten'
with nv circumstances, as can't make
them any better.
PhiIanthropist-Then I won't offer
you money, but perhaps you have a
quarter about you that you don't want
It isn't everybody who can take thlngs
so philosophically as you DO, you
know.-Boston Transcript.
The record-union., 1897-08-23

Try McMorry's 35c tea. 531 NJ.
The record-union., 1897-08-23

;. McAorry, importer Of fine teas. !
The record-union., 1897-08-23

THE WEEKLY UNTON-THE BEST
weekly on the coast. Only 81 year.
The record-union., 1897-08-23
DEAD STUCK FOR BUGS

Kills Reaches, Fleas, Moths and Bedbugs. Nom
poisonous won't stain. Large bottles Al druggists
and grocers. 25 cents. iy2I-sW
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
THE TEAoHEa's BOSSES.
Harry z. Austin discharged From
His Position at Lihue.

President Cooper presided over
yesterdays meeting of the Commits
sioners Of Education yesterday.
Deputy nspector- General Gibson
brought up the subject Of Teachers
examinations and it was decided
that they should be held simulta-
neously throughout the Islands at
Eastertide.
The proposition of School Agent
McCorristou to sell two school
buildings at Kaunakakai unfit for
use was agreed to.
The application Of Miss Zoe At
kinson for a life certificate on the
grounds that she had been teaching
for nearly ten years was denied as
the rules governing such matters
have been changed.
P. 'ent Cooper presented the
report of his investigation in the
matter of the charges brought
against Harry z. Austin, school
teacher at Lihue, Kauai. Only one
charge, that of severely striking and
Furnishing an unintelligent boy was
considered in detail and that being
deemed to have been clearly proved
Austin was dismissed from the de-
partmeat.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Mr.. Moreno,s Plea for Hewaii.

The following letter, on the sub
ject OF Hawaiian annexation, was
sent TO Hon. G. X. Davis, chairman
of the Senate Committee on Foreign
Relations, on July 16 last:
Deer lSir.-For nearly quarter OF
a century | have felt warm affec-
ton for the Hawaiians, and an equal
ly warm desire to do some good for
them. Especially do l feel so now
that the die is cast, as you told me
this morning, that will deprive the
Hswaiiaus OF their political autono-
my and OF their native patrarchal
rulers, 80 much beloved by them.
1 know we'll Hawaii and Hawaiians,
for the reason that, with my mouth
closed and my eyes open, / studied
them de visu on their native Soil
without any prejudice pro or con.
The Hawaiians are primitive
race, with all the good qualities OF
the ancient races, and each Hawai-
ian is a philosopher and modern
Abraham. The annexation of the Ha-
waiian Islands to the United States,
without plebiScite Of the aborigimists,
freely, and faUorably oppressed. wiH be
an act contrary to International right
and privileges, an outrage similar to
that of the forcible partition Of the
kingdom of Poland by the three poten-
tateS of Russia, Austria, and Prussia
in the last century, 1t wiH be might
against right, Which creates nothing
lasting, and surely wiH be q source OF
endless troubles, that ,OiH prevent har-
mony, peace, and prosperity IN Hawaii.
The United States is too great a
country to be unjust, and ungener-
Gus towards feeble, generous, and
friendly race, as the Hawaiians are
These words ought not to be lost
with the wise.
Very truly yours,
CELso CAESAR MORENO.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
THE BOARD OF HEALTH.
Rotten Salmon Furnished to the
Suffering Lepers

Pie ident Smith presided over
yesterday afternoons meeting of the
Board OF Health Fish Inspector
Keliipio reported 90,150 fish re-
ceived during the past two weeks.
The Maternity Homes report show
I'd balance OF S3,OIS.75 on hand
The application of DR.. l., A..
Sabey for license to practice medi-
cine was favorably recommended.
Drs. Eldrege and Jordan's reports
from TIL ) Orient were read and were
on tho whole very favorable. Dyson
terry and malaria were somewhat
prevalent but.there was no cholera
and only one case Of smallpox.
Rey. Il. w. Peck wrote in regard
to satisfactory arrangements made
for nurses for the Hilo hospital.
There being only one tender
for the beef supply to the Leper
settlement the contract was award
ed to the Parker estate at 81 cents a
pound.
Health Agent Reynolds in his re.
port on the Settlement stated that
he had found it necessary TO con
dsmn six barrels Of salmon as being
absolutely rotten. 1t was stated
that about $50 we're required to pur.
chase swings and croquet seys fol
the Settlement which probably
charitable friends will donate.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Foot Ball.

The Football League met at the
Hawaiian Hotel last evening and ar
ranged the following schedule of
games for the season Of 1897:
First October Both: St. Louis vs..
Town.
Second = November 18th: Regi-
ment vs.. st. Louis.
Tbird-November 25th: Regiment
vs.. Town.
The colors chosen by the Compel
ing teams are as follows:
st. Louis-Black and white.
Regiment Red, white and blue.
Town - Orange and black.
The Town team has challenged
the U. S S, Philadelphia to a game
on October 10Th,
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Final Peace Negotiations.

CoNsrANTINoPLE, Turkey, Sept. IA.
"A meeting of the ambassadors of
the powers was held yesterday and
an understanding was reported on
the preliminaries Of the Greco Turk
ish treaty OF peace, based upon the
Marquis of Salisbury's proposals.
These facts have been communicate
ed to the Turkish Minister for For
eign Affairs, who has been requested
to meet the ambassadors to. morrow
to resume the formal negotiations
for peace.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Novelty
w eek

The smokeless stove on
which water is boiled in our
show window has been a great
attraction for several days to
students in philosophy. The
Jewel is a good stove anyway.
The special subject for the
people this week is not stoves,
that subject is a daily one.
This week you will have no.
veltles of all sorts.
This is the season when the
hens go on strike and the
price of eggs goes skyward.
Hens want a little encourage
ment now and then, and the
best thing known to science
is green bones. But they
must be cut up fine. We
have the best green bone cut
ter in the world.
Another novelty is the soap
saver, made of re-tinned wire,
basket shaped, with long
handles. This is the best soap
saver known and we have
three sizes, Cheaper than
dirt and more identifying.
Dripless tea and coffee
strainers are new and servica-
BILE. There's a cutoff attach
ment which prevents coffee or
tea from dripping on the table
cloth after the cup is filled.
Very cheap these, and pretty
too.
A6-knife Victor meat chop
per for quarter seems like a
dream, but it isn't. We sell
them at that price and we sell
the Holdfast dust pan-best
you ever saw.
The latest in coasters is the
revolving star - enables the
cook to toast five pieces of
bread at once. Try one.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Arrival of the warrimoo.

The r. NJ. S. Warrimoo, Chas. w.
Hay, commander, arrived early this
morning, 81 days from Victoria, B.
@. The following were passengers
for this port; Fred Philip, A. Buchan,
j. Platter and wife, Miss Platter, j.
w. Ecker, g. T. SHANNON and wife,
Mrs. Reckie, Chas. Taylor, Mrs. M.
Powell, Mrs. @. Bow, III. @. White
and one Japanese. Through to Sgd
ney, 10 cabin passengers. Purser
Bellmaine reports 230 tons OF cargo
for Honolulu and full freight for
the Colonies. The steamer leaves
at 3 p. m.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
j. T. WaterhOuse.

There are three brands of
Jams and Jellies known to be
absolutely pure. Crosse Il
Blackwells, Morton's and
Code, Elicit & Co. During
the pure food crusade in Cali
fornia the goods of the latter
passed every inspection and
now come out of the factory
specially stamped "Pure
Food" We have a complete
stock of these goods and offer
them to the public at very low
prices.
Our grocery department is
full to the brim with reliabl
goods and our prices are low
enough as to draw common
from other dealers. We buy
for cash in quantities to suit
the demand and consequently
they are always fresh,
We handle the celebrated
Albert homeless sardines and
the Palace brand of sliced
bacon, two articles for the
table that are uneXcelled.
We carry a full line Of table
delicacies, English and Amer
lean and promptly fill orders
Prompt delivery in all cases
whether in person Or by tele.
phone and careful attention
paid to the selection of goods
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Elk MARIPOSA. = California
Fruit Company, George Andrews
Fresh Frozen Eastern aud Califor.
mia Oysters, Fresh Salmon, Crabs,
Peaches, Plums, Pears, Nectarinss,
Tokay and Muscat Grapes, Apples,
Oranges, Lemons, Dates and Nuts
of all kinds, Celery, Caulifiower,
Queen Olives and Sauerkrout, Tele-
phone 4S4.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Elk NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Re-
frigerator will contain:-Peaches,
Plums, Oranges, Apples, Grapes,
Nectarines, Lemons, Celery, Cauli-
flower, Fresh Salmon, Founders,
Grabs, Frozen Oysters Tin and
SHELF, Burbank Potatoes, Queen
Olives, Pickles, Cheese, Roll Butter,
Etc, Etc.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Born.

PANAEwA-At the Kapiolani Ma
ternity Home, last evening, Sept. %,
1897, to the wife Of George Panaewa,
daughter.
RIoHARps-At the Kapiolani Ma
ternity Home, this morning, Sept.
"a, 1897, to the wife of Joe Richards,
a daughter.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
Married.

Medley PEDRo-In Honolulu, HI,
on the 81 of September, 1897, at St.
Andrews Cathedral, by the Rev. A.
Macintosh, A. W. Neeley to Louisa
Pedro, both of this city.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
500 REWARD.

QNHE ABOVE REWARD OF ONE
l. Hundred Dollars will be paid to the
person finding and delivering to me my
Two Diamond Rings lost on Saturday,
Sept. II, 1897 Upon their return, no ques-
tions will be asked.
D. KAWANANAKOA.
Honolulu. Sept. "a. 1897. 6a6-tf
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The steamship Aorangi is due
from Vancouver at this port on the
29th inst.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The Kasla at 4 p. m. for Lahaina
and the Kaena for Kahuku at A are
placarded to leave today.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The Mauna Loa, Capt. Simerson,
arrived at noon to-day from Hawaii
aud Maui ports.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Seattle beer il plentiful again and
the thirsty people feel happy.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24
LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS

The Worrimoo sails for Vancouver
at 3 O'Clock this afternoon.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The Pokii won the second class
yacht race yesterday. Our sporting
reporters excellent account of the
race is reluctantly held over until
to.morrow's issue.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

New lot OF choice patterns in
figured organdy muslin, just received
at N. s. Sachs.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The Mama Loa brought $500
bags of II. A. Co. sugar for the bark
S. .. Allen.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

W. A. Wall, DR.. w. II. Monsarrat,
wife and child, and DR.. A. w. Rowat
were passengers by the Mauna Loa
from Kona and Kau.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Mr.. T. Huddart, son of j. T. Hud-
dart, managing owner OF the Can
adam Australian steamers. is a
through passenger by the Warrimoo
Australia,
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The elevator to the Davey Photo
graphic Gallery is now in running
order and proves a great convenience.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Prince David Kawananakoa offers
a reward OF one hundred dollars
for the return to him OF two dia-
moud rings lost on the 18th instant.
See advertisement.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Bert Peterson left on the Doric
yesterday for visit to Southern
California. The ladies and visitors
will miss his courteous attentions.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The Stars VS.. the st. Louis to.
morrow afternoon. If the Stars
want the pennon they must play
ball and win.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

Tomorrow night the merry min
strels OH. B. NJ S. Comus will en-.
terrain at the Opera House in aid of
the funds Of the British Benevolent
and Hawaiian Relief Societies. They
Bring an excellent record with them
and should draw large audience.
Seats for sale at FWall-Nichols Co.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

About fifty dollars are required to
provide the lepers with croquet sets
and swings. Who will provide the
amOnnt2
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-09-24

The cricketers recognized Mrs. T..
Rain Walkers charming courtesy
yesterday with three hsarty cheers.
The game was one Of the prettiest
yet played here, the battingSo OF Mr..
Aeneas Macintosh was very neat
and clean aud quite study of good
cricket Hatfield almost invariably
a cool and safe bowler was also at
his best. The same teams will play
tomorrow afternoon when a very
exciting game may be anticipated.