davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
THE mAoons gsa s1cex.
Idea of His Wife Giving Him Five
 Dollars Took the Prize

There were five of six of them sitting about; tie stove in the drug store, and they had been telling pretty tall stories. The drug gist was man of some humor and inven- tlon, and he concocted a mixture of great potency and fine flavor, composed of SD. frumenti, saccharum alba, cortex limionis, carophyllus aromaticus and aqua pura q. s. This mixture he proposed to administer to whomsoever should tell the biggest story, and the party at once began to stretch their inventive powers to the fullest extent. A toilet soap drummer was appointed judge, and the prize mixture, steaming hot, sat in an eight ounce graduated measure upon the edge of the stove.
 The colonel told . war story of the Mun- chausen variety, the squire related hunt ing adventure that evinced decided genius for evading the truth, and the postmaster made a strong bid for the prize with a snake story big enough to make the sea serpent jealous. The others followed in turn, and the last man, the major, entered the competi- tion. The major had in his mind remark. able narrative about dog that he owned that did some wonderful things, and he be- gan his story in this way:
 Last Wednesday morning l got up a little later than usual and went down to breakfast. Most of you have seen that brown setter of mine. He's a good deal smarter than most men. Well, that dog was Tn the dining-room when l went in. As 1 came to the door, my wife, who was awaiting me-. said:
 John, when I went to wake you up this morning, l found this five-dollar bill on the floor. You must have dropped it from your pocket when you undressed last night Then she handed me the bill. Now, that dog of mine was"
 Wait bit" said the toilet soap drum mer, you needn't go any further with your story. The prize is yours. I'm a married man myself, and that lie you've just told is one you'll never improve on. 1 hereby rem der decision in your favor"
 As there was not single man in the crowd not voice was raised in protest against the judges verdict.-Detroit Free Press.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
PANICS AND PARTIES.
Tom Reed Puts the Republicans Ia .
 Bad L.ght.

Says Tom Reed, statesman and eco homie philosophers: After grea; smash. like that of 1893. or that of 1873, there is nothing to do but wait and let the business world settle itself"
 So it seems we have the admission of one of the great lights of the repub- lican party that there was a great smash" in 1873. and that it was of the same kind as the great smash" of 1893, and that in each case there was nothing to do | 1t wait and let the busi- ness world settle itself.
 What will the organs and spouters of the republican party do with this ad- mission? It has been their practice to lay the great smash of 1893 all to demo- cratic success and to democratic tariff which did not exist until more than a year after the smash. And in order to avoid troublesome questions arising out of their assignment of a cause for the smash they have also made it their practice studiously to ignore the smash of 1873.
 But now stands forth one of their chief prophets and frankly admits that there was great smash in 1873. They can no longer ignore or deny the fact without repudiating one of their in- fallible leaders. How, then, are they going to account for the result? The democratic party was not in pow CT in the summer of 1873 when the panic occurred. A republican president had been elected by an overwhelming ma. jority less than year before and still had three and half years to serve. There was a large republican majority in both houses of the congress-elect. Never did the democratic party seem farther from power, never did it's pros- poets seem darker Nothing could be more absurd, therefore, than to charge the panic of 1873 up against the demo- cratic party.
 But according to the assumption of the republican organs some party must have caused the "great smash" Of course. it was the republican party, if any. Now, we were living under repub- lican legislation in 1893, as we were in 1873, not line of the currency laws or the tariff laws which the republican party had given the country had been repealed or changed in the least par. ticular.
 It is then a necessary conclusion, from which the republican organs can in no way escape, that if republican policy and administration produced the great smash of 1873 they must also have produced the great smash of 1893. Mir Reed has put all his party organs in position where they must admit, unless they throw all consistency to the winds, either that their party caused both the great smashes or that these events occur no matter what party may be in power. MT. Reed himself is evil dently disposed to admit the latter Chicago Chronicle.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
NO CH ANGE IN RATIO.
Sixteen to One VIII Remain tho De-
 mand.


 The St. Louis Globe-Democrat does teen to one ratio by the advocates of free silver coinage. ''The moment they abandon this anchorage" it says, they are at sea without a compass or rudder. Some would want to adopt the twenty to one ratio which Senator Vest pro- posed in 1893, others would advocate the thirty-two to one which Japan &C., cepted, still others would suggest drop to forty to one, which is approximately the market proportion, while others yet would variously want to tie their party to everything between these two extremes"
 It is not unlikely that the adoption of an arbitrary ratio cost the silver cause no little popular support last year, there being many persons who believe that a coinage ratio is to great extent a crea- ture of circumstances, determined by conditions Still, there were good req sons why the ratio of sixteen to one should have been the choice of the sil- yer men. It was the existing legal ratio, and its adoption would render recoinage unnecessary in the event of popular acceptance of the policy of sil- yer remonetization. It is very con venient ratio, considered from the point of view of the sizes of the silver and goll coins, and moreover, according to the theory of the silver men Ga theory not without plausibility) the adoption of the free coinage policy would have quickly caused the commercial ratio to come down nearly if not quite to the legal ratio. If this theory is correct, it does not matter whether the commer- cial ratio is thirty to one or fifty to one.
 There is no reason, therefore, why the silver men should abandon the six teen to one ratio, although they would doubtless add to their following if they did not make an arbitrary ratio an arti- cle of political faith. It is doubtless true, moreover, as the Globe-Democrat says, that .he dropping of this ratio would lead to confusion in the silver ranks, and it is to be presumed, there fore, that the silver slogan will be ''six- teen to one' until the end.-Bingham- ton (N. Y.) Leader.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
A DlSGRACEFUL APPOINTMENT,
An Infamous Act of President Me-
 kinley'a.


 President Mckinley appointed Henry Demas naval officer of the customs at New Orleans, position of high respon- sibility and trust in the government of the United States.
 The president made the appointment with full knowledge that Demas was perjurer, bribe-giver, a bribe-taker, a man without character, boon com panion of the frequenters and inmates of the lowest dives in New Orleans. The proofs of these allegations were laid before him and are now in his pos session, and he has admitted that he has read and twas worried" by them. He made the appointment knowing that the people of the whole country were aware of his complete acquaint- ance with the facts about Demas. The proofs were published in the World in series of articles beginning June II last, and were copied everywhere and were not and cannot be denied in the smallest particular of depravity.
 He made the appointment to fulfill bargain between Demas on the one side and William Mckinley Osborne and Mark Hanna on the other. Demas and several of his ''pals" were pledged and even sworn to support Reed in the re- publican national convention. Osborne bought Demas for Mckinley with cash and a promise of this office.
 President Mckinley has now made himself principal partner in this bar gain, shocking in itself but vastly more shocking in view of the degraded char acter of the man with whom the presi. dent of the Unite States has locked arms.
 It is disgraceful act, and one which will put lasting stain on the adminis- tration of President McKinley.-N. Y. World
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
iN A STATE OF CONFUSION.
The DingIey Law Proves to Be a
 Deficit Producer

The Boston Advertiser by its com ments on the Dingley law illustrates the confusion of mind that protecti< F. ists. who used to howl about the deficit unth they were black in, the face, are in now that the Dingley law is a greater deficit producer than any other bill that was ever framed. It confesses to disappointment, but it must be remem- bered. 1t says, that ''the new tariff is not like the old one, the work of party pledged to lay import taxes for revenue only" The lone great end of we'll constructed American tariff must al- ways be the protection of American industry" and if the Dmgley act "should ultimately prove to be made 4uate. to the extent of a few millions year. for the raising of revenue, it would still stand before the country in favorable comparison with its pre- decessor." Finally the Advertiser ex- poets in the future to get both revenue and protection from the Dingley bill, when in "the better times the people will buy enough of, such foreign goods as are not made at home to bring up the receipts from imports to high-water mark"
 Just how this expectation will be realized, when the protection policy is to tax only goods produced here and admit goods not made here free of duty, isn't quite clear.
 But to revert to the pretense that the Dingley bill was not designed to raise revenue. Such a claim is an insult to President Mckinley, who called con- gress together in extra session. It ie a refutation of the national republican platform, which declares: "We de- mand such an equitable tariff on inn ports which come Into competition with American products as will not only furnish adequate revenue for the nec- essary expenses of the government, but will protect American labor from the degradation to the wage level of other lands"
 In his inaugural address President Mckinley said: "It is the paramount duty of congress to stop deficiencies by the restoration of that protective legislation which has always been the flrmest prop of the treasury"
 It won't do for defenders of Ding leyism to claim now that the revenue matter is of secondary importance. It won't do for republicans who were ap- palled at an average deficit of S, 900, ,0OO a month under the Wilson law to make light of deficit of S14.0O0,OO0 the very first month of the operation of new law designed by order of the president to stop deficiencies. It won't do for defenders of Dingleyism to expect to raise revenue upon such, foreign goods as are not made at home, because the doctrine of protection as laid down in the republican platform calls for the free admission. of such goods.
 We refer to these troubles of our re- publican friends not for the purpose of embarrassing them, but to point out to them the fact that protection conflicts with revenue raising. They didn't set tie the tariff question. On the con- trary, it must be thoroughly overhauled in a very short time and new tariff rust be made, for revenue only, and upon lines distinctively different from those upon which Mir. Dingley pro- ceeded.-Utica Observer.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
POINTS AND OPINIONS.

Oddly enough the man of un- savory reputation whom the president has appointed naval officer of the cus- toms of New Orleans turns out to have been one of McKinaey's supporters in the St. Louis convention.-Detroit Free Press.
 -Republican logic is queer thing. Here we have tariff bill protecting American manufacturers of iron against foreign manufacturers, and the American manufacturers are actually underseling the foreigner in his own market.-Omaha World-Herald.
 There seems to be no good req son why Secretary John Sherman should speak in this years campaign. He has already said more than he can atone for or explain in the rest of his natural life. Anything he might say would probably be an extension of his iniquities rather than apology or rep aration for the past.-Cincinnat Ex- aminer.
 It is now asserted in Wall street that the sugar trust is known to have surplus of S35, COG, ,00O which will be distributed shortly. This is given as the cause of the recent investments of the Rockefellers in sugar stock. Pos sibly it may also help the Rockefel- lers to unload at advanced figures the sugar stock they have accumulated Indianapolis Seminal
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
The Physicfan's Error.

The patient was far gone; it was the opin ion of all that he could not live but a few moments. Just as the breath was about to leave his body, one of the physicians, gen tleman of culture, and graduate of one of our best colleges, remarked: Poor fellow, he looks badly" At this the dying man opened his eyes, jumped up in bed, and shouted Who is the villain who desecrates my deathbed by his solecisms?" Then he glared at the eulprit and continued: No, sir, am not looking badly. I admit I look bad but not badly, for l am not cross-eyed. j And from that moment he began to re cover, while the canker of remorse began its work upon the heart of the offender, and ere many days his name was to be found in the obituary column of the village paper.--Bos ton Transcript.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
THE YELLOW AND RED.
The Number eff Disease Emblems
 Increasing in New Orleans.
NOT GROWING ANY MORE MALIGNANT,
Camp of Detention for the Care of De. veloped Cases es-Tour of Physicians in the Interest of More Rational
 Quarantine, Etc, Etc.

NEW ORLEANS, Sept. 30.-The number of red and yellow flags, indicating vel low fever, about the city are increas- ing, but the disease is not growing any more malignant than it was ten days ago. A new case has been reported on Jackson avenue. It is the fourth on that thoroughfare. Reports were also received of two deaths. but the names and location were not given out. Tine board of health has decided to make it's days record end at nine o'clock instead of six, hereafter. to avoid, as much as possible, conflicts between the official and the non off cial report of cases.
 A camp 1, 800 feet away from the main buildings has been established at the camp of detention for the care of de- veloped cases until they can be re- moved to the isolation hospital It is announced that the reported sickness on the steamer Tartar Prince is not yellow fever, but malaria The cases were examined by Dr. Carter. of the marine hospital service. Dr. Guiteras was invited to accompany President Olliphant and Dr. Carter on their trip as far as Shreveport, to confer with health officials in the in tere st of more rational quarantine regulations. The trip will be through southwest and northwest Louisiana, and the party will board on the train on which it travels. The newspapers were not permitted to send represe n tatives along.
 A new case of fever was reported at St Philip and Bourgon streets, where there is a grocery and drinking saloon. A number of people were in the plac, at the time drinking, and they were temporarily quaran tined.
 The board of health issues notice to physicians promptly to report all cases of patients discharged.
 A new law requires people living in the tenderloin district to move to new limits The law was to have been put into effect on October l, but the city has been enjoined from enforcing the requirements of the law. To meet the possibility of n dissolution of the in- junction the city has given notice that the ordinance is not to be enforced un- til tue fever is wiped out.
 New Orleans' Record.
 NEW ORLEANS, Sept 3O.--Noon.- cases and two deaths have been re- xxA t.,I sI. ..
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
 DISASTROUS EXPLOSION.
Quarter of . Million Dollar Fire at Santa
 Cruz, Cal

SANTA CRUZ, Cal, Sept. 3o.-At a. m. disastrous explosion, which wrecked several buildings, but fortu- nately was unattended by loss of life, occurred at the works of the California Powder Co.,, presuma- bly, from spontaneous combustion. Eight mills, including the corning, mixing. glazing and packing houses. and their contents, consisting of valua- ble machinery and about 900 tons of powder. were destroyed, the loss aggre- gating about S25O, 900,
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
The Blues.

This IS |, synonym for that gloomy, har. assed condition of the mind which has it's origin in dyspepsia. All the ugly spirits that. under the name of the blues" blue dev. lis, 'megrims" and "mulligrubs'' torment the dyspeptic almost ceaselessly, vanish when attacked with Hostetter's Stomach Bitters, that, moreover, annihilates bilious ness, constipation, chills and fever, kidney complaints and nervousness.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
A B. X 0. Novelty.

Among the many advertising novelties be- ing issued by the E. & Q. is one which is sure to attract very considerable amount of at tention. It IS known as ''The Book of The Royal Blue" and is issued monthly by Col. D. B. Martin, Manager of Passenger Traffic. Of magazine size and filled with attractive half-tone illustrations and good reading mat ter, 'The Book of The Royal Blue" is bound to make hit. One splendid feature is a list of names and address of every passenger and freight agent
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
IN THE SOUDAN.
0ov. Parsons Has Started for Kassala-
 Osman Digna's Forces.

SUAKIM, Sept. 30.-Gov. Parsons has started from Massowah to Kassala, probably in connection with the ces. sion of that place by the Italians to the British.
 1t is reported that Osman Digna, the famous general of the mahdi. has gone to omdurman, the military camp of the dervishes, near Khartoum. Deserters from Osman Digna's forces have reached Sinkat and are joining the Anglo Egyptian army.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
THEY FOUGHT FIRE.
There Was a Hot Time in Ferguson, Mo-,
 All Night.

ST. LOUIS, Sept. 30.-The little town of Ferguson was aroused about 2:30 a. m. by an alarm of fire, given bv farm CTS from Florissant driving to market, and it was discovered that two-story frame structure, occupied by Charles Hamel, saloon-keeper; Justice Pol lard's office, William Lewis paint shop, and Dr. c. M. Cases coal and wood yard office, were on fire. and it was soon reduced to ashes. The loss will reach e7, 7,500; mostly covered by insurance.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
A Good Boy.

Why are yez decorating, Mrs. Murphy."
 Me by Denny is coming home the day"
 I thought hewas sent up for foive years. ? Yes, but he got year of for good be- havoure.''
 Sure, it must be comfortin' for veg to have good by loike that. ."-Tit. Bits.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
 AM ENDMENTS DEFEATED.
The New Jersey Constitution VIII Remain
 as 1t Ia.

TRENTON, N. J., Sept 30.-The latest revised returns and estimates indicate that the anti-gambling amendment to the state constitution has been beaten by from 5000 to 10000. These figures may be materially changed as more the rural counties, but there seems to be ID doubt that the amend ment is beaten. The amendment giv- ing women the right to vote at school elections is beaten worse than the anti gambling amendment, while the ad interim appointment amendment is probably defeated by a close margin.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

Sutherland Eagle Eye Salve is a fine, creamy, snow-white ointment, put up in air tight screw cap tubes. and sold for 25c by all dealers. It is known throughout the land as the best and quickest harmless cure for any form of sore eyes or granuated lids, styes, etc. Scores of people claim that it has saved their eye-sight
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

The republican goldite organs that have an over-supply of Hanna prosperity, might pass portion of it over to the suffering and starving miners. Tn other lines of labor there are men seeking work who would be glad to come in for share.-Illinois State Register.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

Mir. Hanna has never been more impressive and eloquent than in his present passionate declarations of how he loves the lab,ring man.-chicago Chronicle
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

One bad thing about the Klondike gold country is that it affords an excuse for SO many crank inventors to annoy people by tei,ng ot the fool machines they are going to build to get them there-Chicago Record
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

In Bohemia-"Will you lend me five shil- lings, old chap? l want to lend it to Jones'" ''Why lend it to Jones?" Well, you see, he owes me five shillings and he wants to return it."-Sketch.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

There is probably nothing in this world as variable as the stories of a quarrel told by each Washington Democrat.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
 THE TURKISH PRINCE.
arrival of Seven of the Crew of the
 Wrecked Vessel at New York.

NEW YORK, Sept. 30.-Among the passengers of the steamer Vigilancia, which arrived from Cuban porSs, were seven of the crew of the Prince line steamer Turkish Prince. which went ashore September II on Campeche reef elght miles east of Progreso. The Turkish Prince was bound from Color to Vera Cruz, and grounded on tho reef at night during heavy squall ohe will probably be total loss
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

Clerk-"You say you will take this ham mock, miss?" She-"Yes, but want two of them" Clerk-"Very well, madam. ."-
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

If some one would find a remedy for the bad memories of debtors he would make tortune.-Ram's Horn.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

N.s stopped free and permanently cured. No fits after first days use of Dr. Kline's Great Nerve Restorer. Free g trial bottle & treatise. Dr. Kline, e33 Arch st., Phila., Pa
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

Newly Made Widow-"Ah! no one can take Johns place. I loved him from the bottom of my heart" Friend (brightly)- ways room at the top."-Puck.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

Yeast-"That man Doughton is very skep- tical. Unless he sees a thing, he won't be- lieve 1t exists" Crimsonbeak-"He never ran into rocking-chair in the dark, then? ?' -Yonkers Statesman.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

The Cook-"Arrah, mum! Oi wish ye'd kape out uv the kitchen, entoirely!" The Mistress (faintly)-''I only wish to make a Bridget-that's all." The Cook (bursting into tears)-"Ohl thot's all, is it? An yishterday evening ye only wantid to make a few biscuits for my hoosban's supper an Danny Brennan, the cop, got hold av wan av thim boi mishtake an ate ut; an God only knows will he iver call here again ut all ut all!"-Puck
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01
New Orleans Record.

NEW ORLEANS, Sept Noon.-Fivs cases and two deaths have been re- ported up to noon in the city.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

He-"When first met my wife I thought she was one of the most economical women n the matter of clothes had ever known" :" She-"You met her at the sea shore. didn't your-Petit Journal Pour Rire.
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

First Burglar-"It's no use tryin' dat place .t'-night, Bill. De man an his wife went in bout an hour ago, an I heerd him tell her he'd bay her di mond necklace to- morrer:" Second Burglar-"What' dat got t do wit 1t? First Burglar-"Plenty! She won't be able t sleep fer t'inkin' bout it, am he won't sleep fer t'inkin how he got t pay fer it."-Puck
The Forrest City times., 1897-10-01

My friends" exclaimed the eloquent min lster, were the average man to turn and look himself squarely in the eyes, and ask himself what he really needed most, what would be the first reply suggested to his mind?" "A rubber neck!" shouted pre- cocious urchin in the rear of the room; and, in the confusion which followed, the good man lost his place in his manuscript, and began over again.-Puck.