The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20

IloI ultSOdIlU W CcIIu CIlc OdDy ttIlu
went out and secured a DIVORCE
st. Paul Globe.
If a few more we'll connected
gentlemen must go to jail, it will
be in order to equip the cells with
baths and upholstered furniture.
st. Paul Dispatch.
The flagship New York has been
ordered to get herself in readiness
to sail at moments notice. This
may be significant. It may mean
trouble for Gen. Weyler in Cuba.
Minneapolis Tribune.
Cuba will never get the full
sympathy of this country so long
as she is pictured in the cartoons
as slovenly young female with a
bunch Of California pears on her
cheek doing duty as tears.
Paul Dispatch.
Those people down at Eldon,
Iowa, made failure of it because
they did not understand that in
this progressive day the way to
rob bank is to get a job as one of
it's officers, and not to go prowling
around it at night with hardware
Chicago Record.
Two bright young Iowa parties
thought they were stealing a jug
of undertaker's whisky. They
drank it, remarking on the excel
lent quality Of the liquor. But it
was embalming fluid and the un-
dertaker now has them on his
hands. Minneapolis journal.
Landlady-" MAY I ask how you
slept last night?"
Mr.. Newboarder- "Pretty we'll
The room was so cold that the
bed-bugs couldn't bite; they were
kept SO busy coughing. TAM
many Times.
w. D. Bradbury, a California
millionaire, has been sentenced to
spend twenty-four hours in Jail
for expectorating on a street car
floor. He will find out whether
to spit or not to spit by testing
the case in the courts.-St. Paul
Globe.
It may be difficult for the Prince
Of Wales to retain proper Jubilee
rigidity of backbone now that the
Langtry divorce is reviving the
story Of how Lily once slipped ice
down that important section Of his
royal anatomy.-St. Louis Re-
public.
The British Queen cannot do
more to draw American fortunes
to her little isle than to invite the
American wives of the decaying
British nobility to Windsor. To
bask in the sunshine of royalty is
to some Americans equivalent to a
place in the highest heaven.-St.
Louis Post-Dispatch.
A blond typewriter girl is re-
sponsible for the extra session of
the New Jersey Legislature. She
made an error in transcribing a
word in a law, and the Legislature
had to be called together to rectify
the mistake. Such things will not
be when typewriters are generally
chosen for their ability instead of
their looks Buffalo Express.
The United States government
has now undertaken, by system
of inspection, to protect American
tea drinkers from unwholesome
and fraudulent teas. If the. gov
eminent goes that far, it should
undertake to protect the suffering
public from poisonous and brain
and Notwithstanding alcoholic bev-
erages which are far more deadly
than inferior tea leaves. Mime
apolis Journal.
It was at a country home. Sew
eral preachers were there for din
ner, and they and the landlord
were sitting out in the yard in the
shade of the trees. The converse
ton drifted upon the evils of strong
drink, when the landlord, endeav-
oring to use the very best language
in the presence Of the preachers,
remarked: cit is SO exprising that
some young men will drink to such
a recess as to break down their
institutions. Orange (Va.) OBJ
server.