Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1897-09-16
Centralia for Cows.

Another incident Of the COW nuisance
in Centralia came to light Saturday
night. Rev. A. Peterson, of the Mora
Wan church, was away from home that
night and his wife and children were
left alone in the house with the servant
girl. About midnight Mrs. Peterson
was awakened by noise at her bed
room window. With a nervous start
she peered through the screens and be-
held what she supposed was the face OF
a man. She thought he was indus
triously attempting to open the window.
Frightened almost out of her wits at the
sudden appearance of danger Mrs. Pet
terson gave alarm and the servant girl
rushed out of the house and over to the
neighbor's, Mrs. Quick, screaming for
help. The servant reported that bur
glar was trying to enter the parsonage
and would not 60 away. Excitement
quickly reached high pitch in the Quick
house and the two male boarders were
speedily summoned as detective force.
Carl Madsen, already awakened by the
screams for help and scared into des-
peration by the terrors of the moment,
shouldered pop gun and his Vivl
kodak, the only deathdealing 1nstru-
ments at hand-if the pop gun failed a
snap shot from the kodak might do the
Worthwhile Druggist Otto pulled down
an old army musket that he always keeps
ready for such emergency and loaded
it to the muzzle with Carter's Little
Liver pills. (Gus, you know, is more
accustomed to handling pills than bull
lets). Thus armed, two brave spirits
tiptoed out into the night to make a
burglar captive.
Look There he comes around the
house, now, and stops at the kitchen
door to turn the knob. The man with
the kodak makes break for liberty.
and dashing toward the knave Of dark
ness yells "get out of there you rascal !
Hi! Get out of there" The man with
the big pill cannon rushes along behind,
and Mrs. Quick in the doorway cries
''catch him, boys, catch him."
At the kitchen door both detectives
are halted. The suspense is so terrible
that the thermometer drops to the
floor. And then Mrs. Peterson begs
their pardon for all this disturbance,
explaining that she finally gained
courage enough to look out doors and
learned that the intruder was "only a
Centralia cow" The bovine had been
eating vines which were trained up
oyer the bedroom window, and also
destroyed good share of her garden.
While the servant was spreading pan
demonium at Quick's, Mrs. Peterson
had driven the cow out of the yard aud
was just entering the house at the
kitchen door. The scare, however, in
this case was as effectuaI as though it
had been a real burglar, and the results
might have been more serious. Some
body's COW probably does not know yet
that it was star actor in a moonlight
farce tragedy, but few of the company
realize only too we'll that they were a
big part of the show and since their
modesty restrained them from giving
your reporter any details of the play, of
course we have not printed anything
concerning it. We believe we have a
few more friends now in the anti-cow
cause, and feel assured that Centralia
ordinance makers will be looked upon
with much Of misgiving by the persons
whose hair is just dropping down to
normal place, from now until the COW
nuisance is abated.