The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1897-03-03
JULIE WAS ROASTED
Story of that "Assassina.
ton" Message.
Bad Translation and Board
Bill Caused Con-
Sternation.

WASHINGTON, Feb. 2O.-The ins
ands outs of Captain Palmer's won
derful tale about the proposed assass-
ination of his beloved Her Majesty"
have at last come to the surface, and
if the deluded captain knew what it
was TO be crestfallen, he would forev-
er hide his head in some PARKWAY cor
ner of Cape Cod.
The assassination" message came
over the telephone, and as Captain
Palmer, in his bland manner, spelled
out the Hawaiian words, he gradually
collected the following Hawaiian SEN
tence: "Makemake kela moiwahine
kela puaa kalua, a ne lilo kalua?" The
translation of this reads: Does the
Queen want roast pig or roast dog?"
AS the Hawaiian of the original
sentence was a little mixed, and the
captain and his Hawaiian court were
somewhat excited over the new SEN
sation of receiving a message over the
long-distance telephone, the dispatch
was translated after the following
y
keep the Queen from being roasted"
The captain and the court were so
wildly excited over this that none of
them thought to read the dispatch
second time The captain crumpled
up the paper on which he had written
the message, and danced about like
a SNOWFALL in hot skillet. He was
undecided whether to run before the
wind or take a reef in his topsails, and
tack to the protecting wing of Presi-
dent Cleveland. While. bordering over
the situation he found a representa-
tive of the Washington Star handy,
and told him the tale of woe. The
newspaper man knew a good thing
when he saw it, and by the use of a
few sailor terms, won the heart of the
marshal of the sea. During the con-
versation Captain Palmer allowed the
piece of paper containing the "as-
sassination" message to drop on the
| floor. The newspaper man kept his
eye on the paper
The captains tale was waxing tear
full when the hotel clerk came up and
handed him the bill for the Hawaiian
court expenses. Now, the Shoreham
does not entertain it's guests for moth
ing and the captain was speechless
as he read the items of the bill, and
came to full appreciation of what a
hole it would make in what remained
of the $4,000 which the Queen re-
allied by mortgaging all her property
before leaving Honolulu. The cap
tain hoped to get a slice of the
Queens sack" and was greatly
troubled when he found that if things
continued as they were the Shoreham
people would get the lions share. He
thereupon decided that if his little
scheme was to be completed he must
move the court" 10 more secluded
and less expensive quarters.
He forgot all about the slip of pa
per and the assassination message.
But the newspaper man didn't. 1t was
safely in his pocket. Captain Palmer
trimmed his sails for the Queens
apartments. and left the Washington
Star reporter happy in the possession
of a good story and the message. The
reporter consulted some of the Ha-
waiian scholars at the Hawaiian Le
cation, the message was translated
and the whole farce thereby made pub
lie property. The captain now claims
that someone is seeking to assassinate
him, but he has succeeding in hood
winking Her Majesty" and on Mon
day last the abiding place of eX-Queen
Liliuokalani and her suite was trans
ferred from the Shoreham to the
Cairo where board is cheaper and the
captains usual beverage of white wine
doesn't cost SO a bottle.