Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-08-04
SPINNING WHEEL.

CT LIN N1NO w 1ILILs
Philanthropist-"Y appear to be in
very straitened circumstances, my poor
man. Are you very, very sad! The
Poor. Aan-"Oh, no, | am content WIN
my circumstances, as | can't make them
any better" NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. /
won't offer you money, but perhaps you
have a quarter about you that you don't
want. 1t isn't everybody who can take
things SO philosophically as you do, you
know. Boston Transcript.
The New York Sun has this sarcastic
paragraph: 1.-The Augusta Chronicle
tries to pay serious compliment TO Dr.
Andrews, formerly president OF Brown
university, by saying that he is one OF
the brainy men of the day Would any
man who has been Or hopes to be the
president of 2 college be pleased to be
called 'brainy?' Would he accept that
adjective without a painy' feeling, so to
speak? One may see in the elevated
cars advertisements of a well-known ana
highly-respectabl dictionary which de-
scribes it as the work of 'brainy special
lists. Doubtless a 'brainy specialist
ought to be perfectly satisfactory. but as
maker of a dictionary he may seem
inappropriate to conservative minds.
Would centipede be described properly
as footy' and the Nile as mouthy' and
a many gated city as 'gatey" Are the
Rockies and the Himalayas 'chainy:'
No doubt we must draw the line at
'brainy." But if the analogy is to be
complete, what are we to do with the
rest of them? All mountains may not
be "chainy," but there are some abound
ing in rocks which are rocky. ''Footy"
and "mouthy'' would certainly be very
awkward, but have we not heard of men
ing in frost is followed by a frosty"
morning, snowy" days are not unknown
in this latitude, and St. Swithin has made
us familiar with rainy of late. Then
there is the Wild West show, which is
very SNOWY" Are all these useful ad-
iectives to be ruthlessly swept out of ex-
istence?
Bobson is certainly daft about that
new baby of his What has he done?"
"Why, we were all talking about the
tariff at the office last Saturday: but
Robson only made one remark What
did he sayW HE wanted to know II
they had raised the duty on catnip tea"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
High collars are still in style, but few
people realize that the wearing of them
is fraught with much danger. 1t is es-
Sential for general health to leave the
neck free DR.. Pirtes of Cairo recently
reported a case of a gentleman who was
almost strangied by high standing col
lar. 1t was a difficult matter to restore
him to consciousness and life. This IS
not the only case of the kind. Not long
ago wealthy French gentleman was
found dead in the compartment of rail
road car on the arrival of the train at
Paris from Nice. The inquest and the
autopsy revealed that the traveller had
not met with foul play but mad been
strangled by standing collar. At
point very near the Adams apple there
is spot which it is very dangerous to
compress. When this is done respiration
stops suddenly and asphyXiation will en-
sue if the pressure is long enough. \
collar which is uncomfortable when the
wearer is standing will be more so when
he sits down, and should he fall asleep
in sitting position it is likely to press
upon the very point it will do the most
ness will set in during sleep from the eff
feet of this pressure, and the fatal ter
mination in the case just mentioned
proves the danger of wearing high col
lars.
solute monarchy" Papa country
| ruled by King whose authority is I'M
limited. His word is law, and the peo-
pie must do his bidding. Do you under
stand! American Roy-"Oh. yes: a sort
! of political boss. New York Weekly
Buy your false teeth before YOU go 10
India. Says the Boston Herald Chat
terer: Goodness, Dentistry is dear IN
India. The Nizam of Hyderabad has
just given $500 for his new false teeth.
and they aren't much of a set. to Judge
| by his highness' looks. Dentists labor
| under difficulties with royal patients.
! M th<a1 i
be likely to make it hot for an operator
if he trifed too long with a sensitive
! nerve, but in building artificial teeth
| there could be SO such trouble; it is not
/ easy, therefore, to account for this fancy
price. However, the gentleman may
| his set up in the false row. Troy
Times.
He-"Do you believe in palmistry-
! that you can tell anything by the hand %
| She-"Certainly. Now, for instance. if
| had certain kind of ring on a certain
| finger of my left hand. people would
know that | was engaged. '-Tit-Bits.
| TO-
The value Of GOODNESS in the face of
| danger has often been shown. A fresh
| illustration has been given by a young
woman of Boston, who, fresh from
Smith college, was awakened in her sum
Cool, collected, she donned her clothes
and then thought: ''Now, what do [
value the most?' After mature refiec-
ton she took a list of books from her
writing desk and left the house 81 am
so glad [ saved il" she said afterward
to a sympathizing friend, ''for if I had
lost it [ could not tell what books [ read
| last year."
A Man Of Leisure.-Johnny Squanch-
| ''My father is a carpenter; he builds
| houses. You father don't go anything,
! does he?" Bobby Thickneck-"He'S 2