Connecticut western news., 1897-02-11
BOWSER AND HIS AK.

BOWSER AND HIS AK. HE TACKLES A DEAD TREE THAT JUMPS AT HIM. Endeavoring to Emulate Gladstone woodsman, the Amateur Farmer Comes [ to Grief, and, as Usual, Blames His Pa tient Wife For the Deplorable Disaster. The Bowser family had just finished hreakfast when . boy left a newly sharp ened Ax at the kitchen door, and when Mrs. Bowser looked at her liege lord with a query in her eye he replied:
 II had it sharpened up so as to do lit tie chopping this morning. I want to work up the muscles in my shoulders.
 But where are you going to chops"
 In the woodland dell, Mrs Bowser- tree down by the creek. In about ten minutes you will hear the merry ring of the woodsman's ax and the echo of his glad song"
 Well, don't blame me If anything hap pens," she interrupted. "I'll go in and get the camphor bottle and bandages ready, and If there's any life left in you when you return I'll try to save 1t. If you cut of foot, shall probably not be able to grow another for you, and you'll have to be content to hobble around on one leg all the rest of your life
 Mir Bowser smiled pitying smile, and then shouldered his ax and puckered his mouth into whistle and set out for the scene of his labors. He h,d never handled an ax for five minutes in his life, but he had once seen a farmer hoeing corn and had seen thrashing machine at work, and he therefore believed he knew all about ehopping down tree When he reached the tree, he divested himself of coat and vest, tied his suspenders around his waist and tsleefully exclaimed:
 Woodsman, to work, to work And the hum of the flying chips shall mingle with the merry ring of the bounding ax! Here she goesr'
 He squared of, uttered "HaP and made his first stroke. He rather expected to see the ax sink to the eye in the wood, but 1t didn't do 1t. He was so far away that he just grazed the trunk, and the ax kept on and sank in the earth at the roots As he had a good grip on the handle, Mir. Bowser was brought to his knees by the force of the blow, and his head came into collision with the tree. He saw suns and moons and stars for q moment Then he slowly got up and rubbed his eyes and looked in the direction of the house. Mrs. Bowser was not to be seen, and he mental ly thanked heaven and added:
 II was all right but the blamed tree jumped back just as l struck Mebbe I'd better go slow and practice little before rush things"
 He went slow. He stood off and pecked at the tree with light strokes for a few minutes Somewhat to his surprise 1t stood still and after five minutes work he saw one small chip fly away. This delight ed and encouraged him, and growing bolder he uttered sort of warwhoop and swung the ax for liberty or death. It was an upward blow, and the old tree was as hard as iron. As the ax glanced and went over hia head Mr. Bowser took tumble and brought up with his nose deep in the soft soil Just as he got up Mrs. Bowser arrived to say:
 "Well, 1 see you have made q beginning. Were you after roots down there?''
 'sW-what are you doing here, womanP he exclaimed as he rose with red face and blazing eyes.
 II came to see you chop and to be on hand when the accident happened. see you have made mark on the tree. .''
 "Gop he hoarsely whispered as he point ed to the house.
 She went slowly away, and when he had seen her vanish within the door he picked up the ax and growled:
 "Ive come out here to cut this tree down, and I'll do the work if it takes me a hundred days and nights. The blamed thing must have jumped at me instead of backward that time. I'll get on to the kr{nI khfo mo oy@ bncyu bo roo cnr, xuhv p
 There was wariness and caution in Mir. Bowser's actions for the next ten minutes. He kept his one eye on the tree all the time and was on his guard. He got the "hang" of the ax and released two more chips and was finally ready to deliver the telling blow He didn't deliver 1t, however, un- til he had made three or four false motions and found the tree firmly rooted In place. Then he set his teeth, got firmer hold of the ax and struck with all his might. He had forgotten about distance, and the blow was too far over. The ax handle struck the tree, and as the ax flew away the end of the handle hit Mir. Bowser in the pit of the stomach. The whole world, including Alaska and the Sandwich Islands, went whirling around with him for a few sec onds, and then he seemed to be falling through space. Ten minutes later he open
 
 been buried alive Sounding soft and low and faraway he heard Mrs Bowser's voice saying to young Bowser:
 No, my con, your father is not dead, but only restingp'
 twill he cut the tree dowr after he gets rested?" asked the boy.
 "I do not think he will-not todayl He may try to milk the COW, build rail fence, clean out the well or use scythe, but he won't tackle that tree again for several days. How do you feel, MT. Bowsers'
 ''Is-is that tree still theres'' he faintly asked.
 "Oh, yes, right there"
 "And 1t didn't kick me in the stomach,"
 "No."
 "Then you did You were determined should make failure of It, and while I was busy you sneaked up and'-
 "Mr. Bowser, are you conscious?' she interrupted.
 "You betoher life amp he shouted as he sat up.
 "Then don't you remember that the ak handle hit you?''
 Mr. Bowser made no reply, but went iimping dejectedly toward the house
 M. QUAD.
 Where He Was Mistaken.
 Suddenly the young man kissed her.
 "Partion mo, Miss Julia, he cried in a tone of penitence. 1T am very sorry"
 The beautiful girl threw up her head with a naughty air, and her eyeglasses