Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-03-27
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The coal will last but three.
Washington Star.
What is your new girls namc?" 81
call her Brooklyn" why" "She
smashes so many plates.
Plain Dealer.
Prospective Sutor-"Sir, I love your
daughter" Her Father-"well. don't
come TO me with your troubles
Brooklyn Life.
FRS. Tramp bleeve de Indians
eats dogs. Second Tramp-Do they?
Well. den. I'd like ter put dem onter
some dogs I know.-Puck.
A Premature Demand.-The Tootpad
Yer money or yer life! The Count
--But-but. sair. shall not married be
until re next month.--Puck.
The industrious workman's fingers
fairly few. But what else could he
have expected? The saw was run.
ming at full speed.-InGianapolis Jour.
nal.
Brown-'Joncs doesn't forget his
Alma Mater" Robinson-"He doesn't.
chY' Brown-"No. indeed! He's try.
tng to teach his baby the college yell"
Puck.
Fair American after a graphic de-
scription Of an English fox-hunt)-
Now.tcll me. captain. does the poor ami
NAL go in circles round the island?-
Sketch.
why do you think that man on the
front seat Is bachclor?" because lie
isn't trying to iiirt with the pretty
Young woman across the aislc."-Clcvc.
land Lender.
Stage News.-"Did you know that
Henry Irving had spraincd one of his
knees?" Eyes; now he will have to
make gestures with his arms."-Chl.
cagO Record.
Never touched him: Bostonian-
"Why is 1t that you Chica goans always
say, How Is thingsY" Chicngoan-
'Because we want TO know. That's
why"-Puck.
The ilancec-"1 would like TO see the
program for your bachelors dinner"
The Fiance-"Thc-a-the menuI" The
fiancee 1severcly)-"No. sir: the pro-
-r,m."-Puck.
Hear about that American young
cigarc,tc.holdcr?" "Get out" "Fact.
believe II also had title or some.
thing."-Cincinna,i Enquirer.
Mr.. Wallace - These thcater hat
bills
Mrs. wailacc--By the way. dear.
suppose you will find one In your mall
o-morrow.-Cincinnatl Enquirer
Mrs. watts-"isn't It a good deal Of
annoyance 20 get your meals at such
Irregular hours:" Hungry Higgins
'"rhc irregular hours amt 30 bad rs
the Irregular days" -Indlanapolls Jour.
nal.
Mrs. wardle--It's dreadful to be dis.
appointed In love. Mr.. Wardlc-rhere
IS something great deal worse than
that. What for instances" ITO be
disappointed In marriage. odds and
Ends.
First Keitucklnn-'T understand the
lynching of that man who murdered
his wife was very great affair" See.
ond kcntuckian-"Oh. yes. Recent
death IN the family, You knOw."-De.
troit Journal.
Flannigan-"Iiow'd yes git tn blacl;
oyc. CascyT Cascy-"Ol shipped an
landed on me back" Flannigan--"Bu
mo good mon. yr face amt located on
y'r back Casey (gloomily)-"No. M.
,hur WIZ Flnnlgan
Wont you take this seaty' said the
gentleman IN the ear. rising and lifting
his hat. NO. thank you." said the girl
With the skates over hcr arm; "Fve
bcem skating. and I'm tired Of sitting
down."-Yonkers Statesman.
First Tagedinn-"l hear Dryleigl
has n great scheme for going to Swift
zcrlxnd ana Joining the Oberamvicrgat
troupe Second Tragedian-"He nj
Ways was for making holy show Ol
siiinsc!f.'-Ncw York Press.
Museum Proprletor-"What's tn,
matter with the Blind Checker Play
4y? He's been losing games all day
for month. I'm afraid his eyesight Il
falling him."--Dctroit News.
Are you going to Chawlle Biddle'
snppah: It's In the Seeley style, yo,
know, and awfully shocklng?" rs Ia
..olng 20 have dancersY" mo; but he'll
pass awound clgahwctte p!ctuahs
don't you know."-C!eve!and Plain
Dealer.
Mrs. Bray--"l never saw more per
feet acting than Miss Spots ut tina
amateur performance" Mr.. Bray
-.She wasn't In the cast, was she?" Mrs
Brgy--"No; she sat In the front sea-
and looked as though she enjoyed it,
Philadelphia Call.
Eltor-in-chlef- are you goin
10 lead off that woman's column:
Managing Edltor-"Under tho caption
.Woman's Corner sir" Editor-ir
chief-"well, II You do. don't forget t
RIM IN a cut OF the globe just above It,.
--~Sew York Iress.
= mt Maria lat the theater)-"Why
all those men rush out in breathles
haste the moment the curtain falls!
Uncle Henry-"Just wait till they com
in again and you'll understand It,
When they returned there was not
oYeathless one among them.-Bosto
Transcript.
She-You won't object to having dea
mamma live with us after we are ma
xied, will you? He "a young doctor)-
Not at all. In fact, she will be mo,