New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-12-27
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

THE London Telegraph" says that when the Brit
ish fleet at Hong Kong merchandising was
seen coming over the bar with her ensign upside
down The ships In the harbor at once lowered
ufeboats and raced TO be frst TO give assistance
to the supposed sinking ship When the first boat
got within hail!ng distance they saw the skipper
clapping his hands and shouting Go Il, Come
on, We'll pulled" etc. The officer In charge then
said what's the matter captanT Nothing the
matter" SAID the skipper. Then why nave you
got your ensign upside DOWN." The skipper looked
up and said: IT'S that boy Joe again thought
II regatta"
81 hear that the crowd hooted you when you ap-
reared at the Pedlngton Theatre Royal"
False, me boy. false. replied the eminent ira
gedian All false. There was no crowd."-(House'
hold Words.
THE London Globe" says that clever photogra
pher has "doctored" snapshot OF an intorma
roval family group taken at Darmstadt, and pro
duced a new and ostensibly official picture repre-
senting the Kaiser and the Gar with their arms
anfect.onately entwined. In Berlin they buy 1t by
the gross: In ST. Petersburg 1t has been forbidden
by law One capitals meat Is another capitals
polsorN
The art Of bathos is tolerably well illustrated by
the Of FTeash e5S eefore sn mas
nlaque C'est pretty well."-(Household Words
Benjamin F. Allen of Grafton. W. Va, who has
tust celebrated his l07th birthday. says that he
fought in the British Army against Napoleon
serious minded Cleveander went into depart,
ment store not ong age and Stepping up 20 ,o te
The bright young woman in charge shook ner head
"i'm sorry" she said. "bu; are just out Of that
milk " and Spaces Lactatum The serious either
looked doubtful I'm afraid they wouldn't do:"
pathetcally you don't like 10 change" "Oh; 4,
isn't for me- said the serious citizen naS'y Ah mo
girls laughed suddenly-(Cleyeland Plain Dealer
Tho Stanford (Ky) Journal" says: THE I'M
usual sight OF thirty -fve-year-old man going ia
school can be seen any day at the public schoo
here 1t Is Ed Hubbard who year or so age
decided to make preacher OF himself. and. hav'
ing no education he Is taking every opportunity t
secure Il. lie is a good scholar Professor Gruoos
tells us but It occasionally becomes necessary te
keep him in TO make him work little harder
He plays with the boys at recess. and seems te
relish football and other games as much as hi
playmates. the majority OF whom are score OF
more years younger.
Don't you think" asked the curious man. that
It would be a good thing to have all bills before
Congress referred. prior to their passage. to ths
Secretary of Agricuture?
please him he was asked why.
Because, you know" he replied the bill: are are
Agricultural Bureau ought TO be posted on pro-
visions, you know."-(Boston Transcript.
An account Of n house party at Cloneybrtsn IN
recent issue OF THE Limerick Leader" would In
dictate that Joy is not wholly banished from Ire
land II is as follows Miss Ellen Keogh. In
sweet voice. gave Mother Kissed Me In Ny
Dreams Miss Nora Roche sang with winsomt
melody. Father. Dear Father Come Home with
Me Now John Mccormack rendered The Keg o!
brandy Miss Sarah Sullivan gave VIII Yor
Love Me When I'm Old" In faultless form. Mist
l.. Ducey. in thrilling accents rendered The BANK
OF Sweet Dundee John Sullivan's Maid OF NenaSt
Town knocked Sims Reeves to pieces. and
Mullampy In bewitching tones. gave Hard Times
Come Again No More and many OF the young
women were SO affected that they produced theii
handkerchiefs to wipe away a tear"
Soma time ago c. s. Hetherngton bought a So
suit OF clothes but they were somewhat small. ane
he did not wear them. He met Jack" Burk on TN
the Clothes but returned few days afterwIa
"' ".Ciir. guess you will have to give me s. OF
the strength OF that suit"
How does that Gomez said Mr.. Hetherington
!" Wei said Burk. ct had to have the clothes
made a little smaller. "-(Atchison Globe.
"rhe great wheat fields of the West" says ''Th'
Kansas City Journal. ARE now covered with
blanket Of snow--not mortgages"
Shell don't see what reason you have for expect
Ing anything but a refusal never gave you any
Tic fi,ist reiected)--Oh. Miss Coyns-Maud! 70,
did~you most certainly did encourage me! Yot
told me you had ten thousand year In your owl
The American Association Of Women ArtIsta
In Paris, IL holding a fortnights exhibition o
paintings. drawings and sculptures at the rooms
of the American Club No. Rue de Chevreuss
The exposition opened on December II. and v"
continue until Christmas Day.
81 don't like to see young men IVA wasting d tn th
young woman. Neither do T.. replied the otnss
Especially when so many OF them wouio Ss'"~
have diamond &rameG"-ORsston TsAveaHs'