Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-09-11
THE FOUR PRESIDENTS.
By W. L. ALDEN.
Copyright, 1897. by W. L. Alden.)


Written for The Evening Star.
ut was along back in the year 1861" said
the America an ambassador, that was ap-
pointed American minister to Torrizonia,
which. as you probably know, was at that
time an independent Central American re-
public. though since then it has been an
nexed by one of its neighbors. There was
only one town in Torrizonia of any size
and that was the capital and principal sea-
port The government sent me out in
frigate, and when We arrived at Porto
Nuevo, and 1 was oG the point of going
ashore, the captain, who was particular
ly good fellow, said he'd lie at anchor for
a few days. SO as to be ready in case /
should need any protection. You see there
was most generally a revolution in progress
In Torrizonia, and the captain, being a
thoughtful man, calculated that in case
should be accidentally shot he could bonn
bard the town and make a big reputation
at home for energy and patriotism
Il was put ashore in one of the frigate's
boats. and after / had convinced an Indian
custom house officer. who didn't wear Shoes
and who couldn't read my passport, that
wasn't dangerous. 1 gave my trunks to a
couple of porters and walked up to the
hotel There was only one hotel in the
place, and that was kept by man who had
been waiter at San Francisco hotel,
and spoke English pretty near well as
i or you 1t was a small hotel, and / had
it all to myself except for the bar room,
where part of the Torrizonian army was
always drinking itself crazy. 1 had fair
ish sort of dinner, and after 1 had started
in to smoke, the landlord came in and talk
ed with me in a sociable sort of way,
though he was careful not to sit down in
the presence of a great man like myself.
Il had told the landlord that l was the
new American minister. and 1 asked him
If the president was in town, for 1 wanted
to present myself to the president as soon
as possible, and to get to work, providing
there should be any work for a minister
to do.
President Almonte is here said the
landlord, but the other presidents are in
different parts of the country.
How many presidents does this coun
try require? said 1. The United States Is
a m;ddling big country, but we coptrive to
get along with one president at a time
% There are four of them just now, sir,
replied the landlord, but, of course, they'll
be thinned out considerably when they get
to fighting. There's President Almonte,
whose term expired six months ago, but
who Is holding on to office till he can col
lect some more taxes He's got 500 men
and all the artillery in the grounds of the
presidential mansion. and he'll make
good fight for it before he's turned out.
Then there's Gen Garcia. who was
elected president at the last election, but
has never been able to get into the presi-
Dental mansion. He's got about 1,5OO men
with him. and he's in camp about five miles
from here.
Then there's President Alvarez, who
was vice president under Almonte, and
considers that he ought to have been elect
ed in place of Garcia. He is supposed to
have 1000 men in his camp, which is, say,
ten miles north of here
President Del Vale has about the same
number of men with him, and he's some
where to the south of US, though 1 can't
say precisely where. He was the senior
q H.
dent because he said that neither of the
three other presidents was justified in
starting revolutions, and that 1t was his
duty as a patriot to punish them. Most
all the artillery with him. has the best
right to the presidency, but nobody knows
how the thing will end, when once the
fighting gets fairly started.
Now, this news didn't suit me at all.
You see. / had to present my credentials to
the president of TorriZonia before / could
act as minister and earn my salary. But
how was / to know which of the four raS
Gals was the genuine and only president?
Moreover, it was a ticklish business for me
to select a president and stick to him. By
so doing 1 recognized his government. and
became, so to speak, responsible for him.
AT first / was inclined to recognize AL
monte, who was within handy reach, and
who had certainly been president up to the
time of the last election, whatever might
be the legality Of his present position. But
then, in case called on Almonte. and pre-
scented my papers, I should be treating the
chap who had been elected president with
gross injustice. There would have been no
use in writing to Washington for instruc-
tons, for the mail for the United States
left Torrizonia only once in two months,
and 1t had left the day before / arrived.
saw / should have to act on my own re-
sponsibility. and 1 didn't like it at all.
You see that / couldn't afford to spend
three or four months waiting for the preSi-
dents to thin one another out, for my
salary didn't become due until had been
regularly received by the lawful president.
OF course, being a practical man, 1 knew
that any one of the presidents would be
mighty glad to be recognized by me. and
that If 1 should set them bidding against
one another. and agree to recognize the
highest bidder. / could make a handsome
thing out of it. But that wouldn't have
been honorable, considering that 1 was in
the diplomatic service.
I'D always been an active politician, and
/ had always held that politician is
worthy of his hire the psalmist says.
but diplomatic officer is different He is
bound to obey the regulations and 1 con-
sidered then. as do now, that a diplomatic
officer who should go in for making money
wouldn't be acting in way worthy of his
high office.
Il thought over the situation that night
and, when morning came. / called on the
doctor who was at the head Of the hos
pital and told him that i wanted to see
the differences between the four presidents