The record-union., 1897-12-10
THE ETHICS OF JILTING.
RIGHTS AND WRONGS OF
BROKEN MATCHES.
Mrs. Sarah Grand's Opinion-Miss
Swan Thinks That Men
Suffer Little.

Is it ever justifia BILE to break OH an
engagement" is problem discussed by
several ladies in one of their own PERI
odicals. Now, of course. there are CIR
cumstances in which Amadis of Gaul,
or Faithful Grizel, would have broken
off an engagement. If 1t turns OUT
that the betrothed fair loves the was
sail bowl even too well, that the swain
has been detected with cards up ms
sleeve, that either belongs to family
of hereditary homicidal 2aanlacs, theh
almost every one would say break the
engagement off, To be sure, some
young things will insist they can slowly
break Edwin of his habit of turning up
the nine, or of tarrying by the VINE
cup, but here a stern parent may eXert
all the authority which may nave peeh
left to him by the march OF lnteHec1.
We do not enter into the chapter or
what Meg Dods was beginning to call
"prenup" as affecting the tenure or
engagements, because full instructions
on that theme in all its bearings may be
found in novels by emancipated ladies.
They recommend the fair to put the
swain through a strict examination or
his pre- betrothal cOnduct-but that
should be before accepting him, not
after. The examination may be viva
voce," or on paper, but paper work is
much to be preferred, many men being
nervous in viva voce." Somehow no
masculine novelist has ever yet in
structed the swain to cross-examine the
nymph. By examining first and pro-
posing or accepting afterward, many
painful feelings may be avoided. These,
of course, are merely amateur ref1ec-
tions: we turn to the ladies Who sit on
the bench of British Cupid in this Court
of Love Mrs. Sarah Grand thinks
that we certainly ought not to break off
many engagements. You mauna aye
be dram, draining as the Scotch min
lister said, after making the most am
pie allowances.
THE ENGAGEMENT AS AN EYE
OPENER.
Mrs. Grand thinks that if a girl, as
soon as she has hooked her fish, begins
to display anxiety about her future
carriage. and betrays aspirations on
the same material plane" it would be
unfair TO the girl if soaring swain
Glove to his word. Obviously, this rule
applies all round In an engagement
the betrothed parties are likely to find
each other out. One ma. be soaring,
the other material, "terriblement en-
fonce dams la matiere." One may be
Jealous, and, if any discovery can be
terrifying, it is the discovery of jeal-
ousy. The lady had better break off,
the gentleman may shoot himself accl-
dentally in going through hedge. A
prig has been known TO end his engage
ment en- the discovery Of intellectual
disparity; this is rare. Mrs Grand
admits that a girl may take more Ii
cense in fitting, "for men get on pretty
comfortably with quite inferior wom-
en-" Indeed. man is apt to make the
best. and woman the worst of what
cannot be mended.
Mrs. Joseph Parker justly remarks
that the wise thing is to know all about
each other, before people get engaged
at all. We ought to look before we
leap. But, of two wrongs, breaking off
an engagement may be the less. girl
may discover that she does not care for
a man, or that she prefers somebody
else. There is a legend of a lady
whose swain, when she murmured
Yes" said, Let us kneel and pray for
a blessing" The young woman con-
fessed that she occupied this interval
IN thinking how to break it off.
which she did promptly. Mrs. Haweis
remarks that a lady should not use
man "as sort of spoonfng machine.
Persons of taste viii not listen to ad-
vice couched in the most vulgar slang.
STRANGE THINGS IN HONOR'S
NAME
Lady Laura Kidding eXclaims against
the strange things done in the name of
honor. as when man or woman keeps