Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-04-01
A Lost Item.

A Lost Item.
When I was running the Geevllle
Beacon Light of Liberty, one of my pa
irons from way back district came
into the Office one day late in the fall.
Joy was beaming from his face like a
candle shining through the holes IN a
jack lantern.
"Tol de rol, de rol, de radiddy
Tol de rol, de rol, de ray" was his
first remark, as he cut series Of back
woods pigeon wings around the room.
1t was court week, during which event
the Geeville taverns were wont TO set
forth to their eager patrons tlpple
that had won much fame for the prompt
ness with which it took dull care by
the neck and tossed it out of the win
dow, and l at first thought that my
friend from way back had been in fond
and too protraoted dalliance with this
insinuating bowl; but such was not the
fact. After he had warbled and pl'
ruetted off his first burst Of glee, ne
plunked down in chair and said
I'm goin' ter give yer piece fer
yer paper bettern boss stealth or run
ming off with somebody else's wife, or
burning your neighbor's barn! You
know the Wilder Bugless place, don't
YEP"
I told him l did
Glow old dye s'pose the wilder Is?
he asked, and told him | had no idea
why, dod durn it! She's sixty
eight Sixty-eight past. An ain t
she humly? She's SO ALFRED humly
that she sot in her corn patch this sea-
son an actuly skeered the crows away,
That's pooty durn humly, amt 1t?
An amt she thin? An ash sapln s
got more meat on it than the wilder
has a.. Fact She's deefer'n post,
too, an her off eye is out. An you
couldn't raise white beans on that
clearin' O her'n. For agricultur pur-
poses, that clearin' amt with nine
shilI'n' an acre. But do We know, she
won sell the durn place for any price.
She says if any Teller wants that clear
in he's got to take her with it An
who dye thinks ben edgin round the
wilder, anxious to get the clearin' on
them diskerigen terms? Actually
williu to marry the Wilder Bugles tc
git that clearin Why, Pete Sykes
An why is he so durn willing to git
the clearin on them diskerigen terms
Cause he's found out that the clearin
has got this here on it, that's why
Ny friend from way back took 9
handful of glittering, heavy bits ofort
from his pocket and handed them tC
me. Then he danced joyously again
shouting:
"Gold, by thumps Gold! Tol de
roI, de radiddy Gold on the Wild
der Bugles's clearin' She's old, an
rattly as dried gourd, an deef, an
short an off eye, an her clearin' ain
wuth nine shill'n' an acre for agricul
tur'; but there's gold on her clearin
Tons and tons of it An Pete Sykes
he's found it out, somehow, and is will
in to marry the wilder He told M
so ! But he don't know that the wild
der's dead sot on me. Petes goin "
to ask her tonight Tol de rol, de rol
de raddidy. An the wilder don
know she's got gold on her clearin
She's dead sot on me, an Pete can
fetch her She's old enough to be IN!
nanny, but she's got gold, Say Ain
this goin to be a piece fer your pape
that Il make things rattle?'
l took the specimens my way bacl
friend handed me. They were irOl
pyrites put them on shovel anc
held it in the fire. Presently they
vanished as if they had never been
The look on my visitors face was
sight to see.
That's what they call fools gold,
Jaggers, saidI "It's entirely worth
less. You couldn't get dollar for
thousand tons of it. You've had
narrow escape. You might have mar
ried the decrepit Widow Bugles ant
her worthless clearin. Let Pete Syke
have the widow if he wants her.
Ny friend at last awoke to the tru
situation. He stamped and thumpe'
and knocked things around the Office
and yelled and swore until thing
looked blue.
LET Pete have the wilder p h
yelled. why, great crackin', heel
O Julius Caesars ghost There ain
no widderl The Widder Bugles, oil
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