Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-05-09

exhausted, he held counsel with his
soul, with the result of evolving this
conclusion:
This is sweet! Damn sweet. Shut
out from my own house, Exile on my
own doorstep with 50-pound valise for
comfort o. If had that girl in reach
for two seconds. I'll have try at the
bell"
The Miggs bell is one of the features
Of the neighborhood. 1t is a deep
voiced. sonorous gong. with an explosive
bang when energetically pulled. There
was no lack Of energy in Mr.. Miggs
treatment of it. He pulled like the an
Choir of a tug-of-war team. The thun-
derous echoes died away into silence
within. No response. Mr.. Miggs tried
again. He rang it in punches of three
bangs. and in punches of six bangs and
a whang, and finally in a sunburst Of
sound eliminating in 20 distinct strokes
that made the street hum like belfry
tower on Sunday morning
IF that don't bring an ambulance it'll
bring a fire company" said the shut
out, "and I'll feloniously enter my own
house on ladder by the second story
window"
It brought nothing except a profuse
perspration to the alabaster forehead
of Mr.. Miggs. A passage of his wife's
letter pertaining to Bridgets powers of
slumber came back to his memory:
You could pull the bell out by the
roots and il would never disturb her
after she once got to sleep
81 wish the other end of the wire was
around her neck" said he savagely.
I'D see if could disturb her or not.
Then he sat down to a further con-
sideration of the matter but the more
he considered the madden he got, until
presently he rose and vented his feel
| ings in language which was neither of
the heavens above nor of the earth be-
meath, nor of the waters below the
/ earth, but Of the fire which underlies
all. His profanity reused the admiring
attention of the two nocturnal cats.
Now. any one who has ever laid
awake at night listening to two or more
cats in an argument knows that a cat
is a pretty strong swearer on its own
hook. and anything in the profanity
line must be extra hot and strong 10
attract its attention. The cats were
silent while the unhappy Mr. Miggs
poured forth his soul to the pale moon.
When he had quite done one Of them
crept across the street and scOifed at
! him.
| "Yer-r-r-r-r-r a-a-a-a--aOut. it Jeer-
| ed. "A-a-a-a-aout. Wa-aa-a-aout!
| ha viz M
half choked with rage. Wait till get
this bag open-come kit-kit-kit-kit-
and I'll shoot you full Of airholes. Nice
kitty Puss puss puss. o, where IN
thunder is that gum"
Shirts. collars, neckties and under
war went flying to left and right as
| MIR. Miggs delved in his bag for the
| pistol which he always carried on his
| trips TO Chicago. and addressed cajOling
language to the jeering cat. Presently
his fingers clasped something hard.
"At last" he cried But it wasn't. 1t
was his flask. He set it carefully down
! and continued. The pistol didn't come
to light, being at that particular mo-
ment in the hip pocket Of the trousers
he was wearing; but a pair of heavy
! shoes did.
"Thesem do" he cried Now. then.
YOU yowling devil. I'll settle your hash. -
A shoe hurled through the air fol-
lowed by another. here was a howl OF
rage and anguish from the cat, which
went speeding down the street with its
companion a close second. a satisfied
grin overspread Mr.. Miggs' features.
Then he turned to the flask and took a
! drink. This inspired him with a new
idea. Perhaps by opening the door to
the widest stretch Of the chain he could
crawl in sidewise He tried. Now, the
curve Of Mr. Miges waistcoat is one OF
the most beautiful things in nature or
art. hut il does not exactly fit HIM FOR
crawling through narrow apertures.
A very brief attempt convinced him
of the futility of any effort in that direc-
! ton. He took another drink from the
flask and applied himself to the bell
again. After he had run through the
Anvil Chorus" with variations. sew
| eral times window on the opposite
side Of the street opened and a face
looked down disapprovingly, upon Mr..
Miggs. standing amidst the scattered
miscellany of his wardrobe.
GO to bed, you drunken idiot said
the owner of the face. What do you
mean by undressing in the street ana
waking up the whole neighborhood with
your Internal clamor? You ought to be
arrested"
you don't say So" retorted the long
suffering exile. well. can just about
throw this bottle from here and break