The Somerset herald. [volume] (Somerset, Pa.) 1870-1936, 1897-12-22
they FIGHT IT OUT.
HOW ENGLISH ARMY OFFICERS SET
Tie THEIR DIFFERENCES.

The Piebeian and the Peer-How One
Regiment Was Opened 70 Others Than
onshOots Of the Peerage-HOw 'sMOIly'
Crushed the Cheeky Youngster.
In view of the disgraceful duel be
tween the Duke Of Orleans and the
Count Of Turin we publish the follow
ing article which shows the manner in
which British officers settle disputes;
Officers have their dizgreements. of
course, ike other men. and they have
10 be settled D1eling is forbidden by
law as well as by modern ideas and
common sense. Complaints respecting
infractions OF mess etiquette OF Of un-
genflemanly or unsoldierly conduct may
be submitted to the mess committee, the
punitive powers Of which are extremely
sarreaching. The life III an officer sent
TO Coventry" by his fellows is unendura-
bic, and his only chance is 70 exchange
But all this is moral suasion only,
and In the end disputes are frequently
settled by a resort to first principles
the rule Of fist-while redress is some
times obtained in ways as drastic as
they are novel
A gentleman joined a crack cavalry
regiment he had no pedigree or fami
" 70 recommend him In fact, his ia
ther was a retired brewer, and by the
scions Of nobility among his comrades
he was rather coldly received
"Are you the son Of Dash, the brew
err" inquired one Of these.
Il am
Then why didn't your father bring
you up to his trader"
"Oh, well, you're the son Of Lord
Blank, aren't your"
Yes"
Then why didn't he bring you up a
gentleman
The upShot of this was a rough and
tumble, wherein was demonstrated that
IN the army a plebeian is the equal Of a
peer-if ne can box as well
Another gentleman from the ranks of
trade came home one day TO find all the
crockery and breakable articles in his
rooms smashed, the same being intend
ed by the wreckers as a delicate hint
that his presence among them was OBJ
jectiOnable
He was late for dinner that evening
and apologized TO the president of the
mess for it, explaining what had hap
pened-that he had been TO the rooms
Of the three he suspected and returned
the compliment; if he had wronged
any. he would apologize and restore the
articles; If he had hit ON the right ones,
they could have satisfaction in the rid
ing school after dinner.
Accordingly, after dinner, two Of
them received satisfaction in full, Ia
Corbett, in drill time but the third
proved a tougher nut to crack, and the
big hearted plebeian (who, by the bye,
is now a general), weakened by his ex-
ertions, was getting worsted, 50 anoth-
er Of the same social status who was
an expert boxer took up the running.
He soon finished of the third man
and obligingly offered to take ON any
one who sympathized with the trio By
this means-apIropriate to their pro-
fession-these two officers opened the
door in that regiment to others than
offshoots Of the peerage, by whom it
had previously been regarded as a pre-
serve
Among officers exchanging from one
regiment TO another is common One
little man, lieutenant, incurred the
enmity of the men Of his troop by con-
tinually finding fault and rubbing it in
by contrasting them unfavorably with
his. late corps till they hated the very
name Of the ''Pinks," as we'll call
them
Not only the rank and file, but the
noncommiSsioned officers, came in for
his animadversion till it got unbearable,
and at last the troop sergeant major
told the captain quietly that there
would be a mutiny in the troop before
long if it continued
1t so happened that he had also car
ried his insulting comparisons into the
mess, and as he wouldn't take advice
and "drop it" his brother officers took
the matter into their own hands, with
the result that one cold night in Febru-
airy there was a hubbub within the off
GERS quarters, a window was presently
opened, and little Joey" clad only in
his nightshirt, was handed out, seized,
placed and held down in a handbarrow,
wheeled off to the manure heap and
there shot out. 10 make his way back TO
bed as best he could. He soon after left
the regiment.
The antipodes Of this gentleman was
an officer IN the same regiment, an
Irishman, 6 feet and big in proper
tion, but his ''gO" was not proportion
ate to his size. He was too big and apa-
thetic for a cavalry captain In fact,
his nickname, Molly" well describes
him. One cheeky" youngster appeared
to think he could take any liberties
with such an easy going mountain of
flesh. and IN the billiard room one night
he carried his impudence beyond all
reason
Molly" said nothing. He simply
dropped his cue, picked the offender up
and sat him violently down ON side ia
BILE, ignorant or needless of the fact
that upon it were standing glasses and
iecanters.
1t was some time before the surgeons
picked the last piece of glass out of the
impertinent one and weeks before he
could appear in the saddle again. 1t is
scarcely necessary to say that he gave
Molly" Maguire a wide berth after