People's party paper. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1891-1898, 1897-08-06
THE OLD HUMORISTS.
SAM WELLER AND HIS SIRE DISCUSS
A VALENTINE.

The Elder Weller Draws the Line ut the
Poetical - Women as Wenuses and An
gIes-The Art of Never Signing Ones
own Name to a Valentine.
Sam Weller had unconsoiously been a
full hour and a half writing words in
small text, smearing out wrong letters
with his little finger and putting in new
ones which required going over very
often to render them visible through
the old blots, when he was reused by
the opening Of the door and the entrance
Of his parent.
"Vell, Sammy" said the father.
'Vell, my Prooshon Blue" respond
ed the son, laying down his pen.
whats the last bulletin about mother
in-law?"
Mrs. Weller passed a very good
night, but is uncommon perwerse and
unpleasant this mornin. Signed upon
oath, S. Weller, Esquire, Senior. That's
the last vun as was issued, Sammy" re-
piled Mr.. Weller, untying his shawl
"No better YETI" inquired Sam.
"All the symptoms aggravated, re-
piled Mr.. Weller, shaking his head
"But volts that you're doin of-pur-
suit of knowledge under difficulties
eh, Sammy?''
"I've done now said Sam, with
slight embarrassment. "I've been a.
writin.
$50 I see, - replied MIR. Weller. "Not
to any young 'ooman, hope, Sammy. "
"Why, it's no use sayin it ain t, " re-
piled Sam. Its a valentine.
"a whatp' exclaimed Mr.. Weller,
apparently horror stricken by the word.
IA valentine" replied Sam.
''Samivel, Samivel," said Mr.. We'll
Ter in reproachful accents, 81 didn't
think you'd ha' done it. AFTER the warn
in vich you've had O. your father s
vicious propensities; arter all I've said
to you upon this here very subject; ar
ter actiwally seein and bein i'll the COM
pany o. your own mother-in-l law, vich !
had ha' thought wos moral lesson as
no man could never ha' forgotten to his
dyin day, 1 didn't think you'd ha' done
it, Sammy, I didn't think you'd ha'
done itl'' These reflections were too
much for the good old man. He raised
Sans tumbler to his lips and drank off
its contents.
"Wot's the matter now?" said Sam.
"Never mind, Sammy" replied Mr..
Weller; "it'lI be a very agonizin trial
to me at my time O. life, but I'm pretty
tough, that's Won consolation, as the
very old turkey remarked wen the
farmer said he was afeerd he should be
obliged to kill him for the London mar
ket."
"Wot'll be a trial?" inquired Sam.
ITO see you married, Sammy-to see
you a deluded victim and thinkin in
your innocence that it's all very CAPT
tall" replied Mr.. Weller. "It's dread.
full trial to a fathers feelin's, that
ere, Sammy"
Nonsense" said Sam. 81 ain't
a-goin to get married; don't fret yourself
about that. I know you're a judge o
these things. Order in your pipe, anG
I'll read you the letter-there.
We cannot distinctly say whether il
was the prospect of the pipe or the con-
sOlaVOTy ISueCIlOn tudb d 1dVal uispOsA'
ton to get married ran in the family
and couldn't be helped which Gained
Mr. Weller's feelings and caused his
grief to subside We should be rather
disposed to say that the result was at
tanned hv combining the two sources OF
consolation, for he repeated the second
in low tone, very frequently, ringing
the bell meanwhile to order in the first,
He then Invested himself of his upper
coat, and, lighting the pipe and placing
himself in front Of the fire with his
back toward it, so that he could feel Its
full heat and recline against the man
telpiece at Che same time, turned TO