The News-Herald. [volume] (Hillsboro, Highland Co., Ohio) 1886-1973, 1897-12-16
and made straight for the tavern like ii
man running to fire. By and by he
came back singing:

Home again, home again,
From foreign shore
"He had bottle of Eim under his
arm, and the brethren and sisters hur-
ried home, feeling that the end of all
things couldn't be far away. When it
got out, though. that the dominic was
simply suffering from the third stage of
the kicking fever, they excused him and
rejoiced. But the dominic always de-
clared that he never hadsuch a pleasing
antidote for pain. Then it began to be
noticed that this last peculiar stage of
the ailment seemed to have no regular
period of existence, and it is noted as n
fact that the afflicted district wasn't
| entirely able to be out and around as
usual until the tavern keeper gave
notice that there wasn't drop Of any
| thing left that the last stage of the
kicking fever called for.
"During the time the fever lasted
| three leading citizens of the Sinnema-
hone were carried off in their bloom by
| it, not one of whom even had the con-
ISOLATION of enjoying the treatment for
the last stage. First. there was Abiram
Hinkle. When the kicking fever first
struck the district, the doctor said that
| the harder the victims had to kick the
| better it would be for them. for if they
couldn't kick hard it would strike in
and that would be the end of 'em. The
kicking always came in the right leg.
Now Abiram Hinkle didn't have any
right leg, it having been taken off clean
in the saw r7ill. When the attack seized
him he cou. i,'t kick. It struck in and
away he went.
| "Next was Simon Shelly. Simon
swore by Elijah Pink, the horse doctor,
who could cure anything, according to
Simon's belief. Elijah hadcured kick
ing horse for Simon one time by rigging
him to some sort of a contrivance
that threw him every time the horse
kicked. Simon made up his mind that
he was just as apt to have the kicking
fever as his neighbors were. so he sent
forElijah to rovide against it. He had
Elijah fit him with a rigging some
thing like the one that cured the kick
ing horse. The very next day the all
ment seized him. Simon was standing
by a window in his house. He gave one
tremendous kick. The rigging worked
Ii threw Simon. 1t threw him out of the
window and head first into barrel of
| rain water that stood beneath it. They
didn't discover Simon in time. and that
made two fellow citizens the epidemic
carried away.
ats third victim was Erastus Sleeper.
Erastus went out to milk his COW one
evening. and just as he began the kick
ing fever took hold of him. He shot out
| a kick It bit the cow in the shin. The
disease was so very contagious that just
that one kick gave it to the COW. The
COW kicked. Her kick landed in Erastus'
stomach. and knocked the wind out Of
him so far they couldn't get it back.
Erastus' widow married jeff Roner. the
sheep-pelt buyer.
"Well, this brings me round to my
own deep disappointment. Jepheniah
Biffkins had been paying more atten-
ton to Deacon Peeler's daughter Nan
CIV than seemed to me safe, and when
came back home that time I made up
my mind I'd settle the matter right
then and there and know whether Nan
cy was destined to be a Biffkins or a
Pettibone. I went straight to the dea-
cons that very evening, before l had
been home half an hour. This was just
at the time the kicking fever was get
ting in its best licks, but didn't know
a thing about it. Nancy was home, and
hadu't been there long before she had
promised that her name should be
Pettibone. was happy. I tell you, and
Just before I got ready to go Deacon
Peeler himself came in. We had a very
cheering talk for minute or two, and
started to go. just as opened the door
l felt tremendous shock. and at the
same time I rose in the air more than
three feet. When landed was stand
ing out in the yard. Before had come
entirely to felt the shock again. Again
I was lifted and swept several feet
further out in the yard. Then looked
back. Nancy's father was just behind
me with queer look on his face. His
right foot rose up and shot out, and the
shock came third time. Deacon Peeler
was as strong as an OK, and his foot
was shod with No. 12 cowhide boot
This time the shock lifted me over the
gate and set me down in the road. Nan
|
and she cried out:
FEATHER amt kicking you, Praxy
It's only the fever that's workin' on
him! He amt kicking you'll
well! If he wasn't kicking me
didn't know what they called kicking
along the Sinnemahone, and I think
made a remark to that effect as hur.
red home in sorrow and went to bed
Next day I heard about the kicking
fever for the first, and then l knew
what Nancy had meant when she de-
cIared that her father wasn't kicking
me. l went right back with heart
lighter than feather, but Nancy made
it heavy as lead in less than half min
ute.
"'PraXiteles Pettibone!" she said