The Chipley banner. (Chipley, Washington County, Fla.) 1893-1943, 1897-07-31

Puck.
Little Man (golf enthusiast
don't you play golf? Big Man Cblase)-
why, because L object to chasing
quinine pill around cow-pasture.-
Nd-Bits. ..
Shell think you had better send up
another rat.trap John. He-But i
bought one only the other day. She
! know, but there is rat In that one.
-T1d-Bits. -a.-
Kind Old Lady-To what do you at
tribute your uncomfortable appetite
for strong drink? Is 1t hereditary?
Weary Walker-No, mum; it's thirst
Philadelphia Record.
Sawyer seems to think good deal
Of himself" II should say SO; he has
had Moorish curves cut In his office
doorway so he can get his head In and
out."-Chicago Record.
Mrs. Jobber-Too bad the new cook
spoiled the steak; she Is so young and
inexperienced. Won't you be satisfied
with a kiss instead, dear? Mr.. Jobber
ALI right; call her in.-Judge.
"Why don't that European war
you've been predicting right along come
OF, Mr.. Sportly?" inquired his wife.
Il suppose the kaleidoscope people are
not ready."rDetroit Free Press.
Belinda, how do you treat stupid
man who admires your" REALLY, l
don't know; when a man admIres me
never do myself the injustice to con-
slider him stupid. Record
"Mrs. Saver must feel that she was
very extravagant In buying that new
gown" "What makes you think SOL"
"She's begun to argue that 1t will be
the cheapest In the end."-Chicago
/ Journal.
II hear that Judge Buckets Is study
ing undertaking" said the lean law.
yer. "If he gets proficient" said the
fat lawyer, hell arrest the whole
town for contempt Of court."-Indiana.
polls Journal.
Herr Oil-Haf you heard dot dog OF
mine ate tape-measure undt died?
Herr Kut-I suppose he died py inch.
es, NIGHT var? Herr Oil-Aber nit; he
vent oudt In der alley und die py der
yard.--Columbla Spectator.
ut was so dark In the parlor when
young DR.. Plummer came In that !
did not notice he had shaved of his
mustache." didn't you? felt the
difference while you were getting q
light."-Cleveland Plain-Dealer.
Jones-Sillibub has medicine which
he declares Is sure cure for heart
/ disease. Smith-Did 1t cure him?
Jones-Yes, 1t gave him such fright.
full attack of indigestion that he for.
got. all about his heart.-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
f, ~. Addison Eyes, your excellen-
cy? IL hope that the agriculturists
will appreciate the beginning Of our
efforts In their behalf" I'm what
way, sir?" "Well, In sending Hay to
England. "-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
DIR. Ende-There's nothing serious
the matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulcabey.
I think a little soap and water will do
him as much good as anything. Mrs.
Mulcahey-Yis, docther, an Will Oi
giyeit Z him befoor or afther his males
Judge.
: Mrs. Henpeck-Young Mrs. Bagley,
who was married on last Thursday,
| tells me her husband left almost I'M
| mediately for the West on business
trip. Henpeck (viclously-Yes; he writes
me that he finds married life very
heppy existence.-Philadelphia North
American.
! Parke-So strong is habit, they say a
mans spirit goes right on doing the
same thing after death that he did In
life. Lane-That can't be true In your
case. Parke-Why not? LAne-Look
at the habit you have gotten into OF
shoveling the snow from your walk
The Jester.
"Old man, you seem worried" "Wor-
rled Is no name for It. Brown Is conn.,
ing around at o'clock to pay me $1b."
"Think he may not conner "Oh, he'll
come all right; but Jones is due at
AIS to try to, collect $40 owe him.
Suppose he should get there just as
was being paid by BrownT'-Cincin'
natl Enquirer. L
"Ah, yes" said the soulful young
man, ~ see signs Of spring on every
hand nowadays." "Why, didn't know
you'd noticed It," declared the land
lady, as she threw a shawl over the
horsehair lounge, through the seat OF
which a long spiral of heavy wire had
worn Its way.-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
81 have always felt sorry for Noah, u
said the large-hearted man. II DOM
see the need for It," said the man of the
shrunken sympathles. Looks to me
as II Noah got on pretty WELL" "But
Just think Of 1t. When the waters sub
sided there was not soul left for him
to ask, Now, what did tell your
Indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Pawson-My sister Is worried to
death over her son. Reginald. She
wants him to enter the ministry, his
father wants him to 90 into business
while Reginald himself has got his