Daily camera., 1897-01-19
CARDS BOWL is FULL.
Defeated Candidate for Assistant Chaplain
Refuses to be Comforted.

To the Denver Times:
r | have been basely and cruelty BAN
j.; boozled. My fair name has been drag
: ged through the cesspools of politica
4 jugglery. My application for assistan
f chaplain cf either house of the Eleventh
general assembly sleeps on its little
couch of last repose in one of the pigeor
, holes of the committee on morals, Chris
tianity and religious affairs.
was told in most tender and touch
ing manner that the Eleventh general
fassem ply was almost immaculate; thai
they could get along without an assistan,
chaplain and could spend the boojle
thus saved by liquidating the salary of a
variety actress whom Senator MCNeely
had promised position on the commit
tee on stock or Indian affairs.
| approached Senator B. Clark Wheeler
and appealed for some sort OF rake off
in the name of the Continental congress
and several other things; but it was like
casting topaz trinkets before herd of
Missouri hazel splttets. He jabbed the
wrong end of IS cent Havana filler In
to that awful cavity in the front side OF
his face and faded away. My tankard
of wormwood and gall bubbled over and
| buried my roaming nose into the seal
skin sacque OF young and beautiful
female clerk and wept long, slender
weep.
Senator Cannon came in and poured
some oil on the troubled waters. He
laid his hand gently on my head lit was
full hand then) and talked to me for an
hour and a half like good old German
ancestor. He talked about the magical
influence of patience and related the
beautiful stories of JOB, John Bunyan and
General Coxey. He concluded by de.
scribing the glo1ies of that life beyond
the cold and silent grave, and promised
me fat job in the Twelfth general as.
sembly. But | felt that | had been
hornswaggled, and therefore emphat-
ically refused to be comforted. | then
wended my way up into the senate gal
lery and gazed down upon scene that
troze the blood in my lett ventrlcle.
Senator McCreery had just concluded a
speech in which he epostulated against
swearing in more than thirteen clerks on
the printing committee to read the proof
of fifteen bills that had been introduced
He sat down a crestfallen senator amid
a storm of opposition from every part Of
the chamber by score OF senators who
seemingly desired to scratch somebody
back because somebody scratched theirs
Senator Aristotle Rienzi Kennedy thun
dered against the desk of the presiding
officer with voice like many oatara ct
that by the eternals the clerks shoult
and must be sworn in. Being citizel
i of Chaffte county. and consequently ;
senator from the great gold camp o
Cripple Creek in El Paso county, b
proxy, he thought he had perfect :ish
to come down from the dizzy heights ant
: towering cliffs of Pixies peak to mingl
d with the hay huskers and pumpkin roll
: ers of Douglas county, and to urge tha
Deacon Whittier of Castle Rock
sworn in at once. He swore by all tn
sacred memories of Thomas Jefferso
;. and Horace Greeley that the deacon wa
e the ablest newspaper man in Colorado
l.. And why should he not thus vehement
y declare? The files of tie Castle Roc
Journal are full of brilliant editorial
written by the deacon in his palny day
among which are the following:
n "On Saturday night of week befor
.e last William Loney losta large fat no
v by accident"
le "Hon. John Pollock had fine Her
ford heifer choked to death on spu
that weighed over three pounds la
Wednesday,"
J. "a petrifed toad was taken from th
r abdomen of live ra,tlesnake near St
c dalia on Monday"
20 Senator Kennedy had read these thrill
p ing triumphs of journalism and kne
at what he was talking about.
n. The resolution was carried without
It. dissenting voice and the deacon, viii
le several other clerks, was led up an
n sworn in. A chunk of something arc:
IN in my aesophagus almost as large as
m government mule when l beheld the
to go up there into the holy of holies vii
,e Jud Brush, Cad Hagar and Stanls
IT. Stokes and the white robed throng of Il
m redeemed, where they sat down on Il
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