The Brunswick times. [volume] (Brunswick, Ga.) 188?-1900, 1897-07-04
HARD TO PLEASE.

an interesting incident winch painful
ly illustrated the difficulty Of pleasing
a woman. 1t should be mentioned that
the woman in question, who was young
and pretty, was also very wet, and ev-
erybody knows that wet woman is far
more exacting and captious than dry
woman. Still, inasmuch as this partic
ular young woman was excessively hard
to please when she was thoroughly dry,
1T may be assumed that her wetness did
not make any material change in her
character.
Among her lovers are two who have
hitherto been popularity regarded as the
4 leaders of the field and ON whom the
local betting has been very nearly even.
One of these two-Mr. Scott-is a
young man of the most gentle and ami
able disposition, whose constant effort
is to please his lady love. The things
that young man has Sought her, the
times that he has taken her to ride, and
the money that he has lavished in flow
ers for her benefit could not be COM
puted without a large consumption of
chalk. In point of moral character he
has seldom been equaled and never ex-
celled and is especially conspicuous for
his extreme and delicate modesty.
Mr.. Dobbs, his rival, is in all respects
his exact opposite. Mr.. Dobbs is addict
ed to horse racing and other wicked
ways, and he has never been known to
put himself to the slightest inconven-
fence or expense in order to crafty the
young lady whom he processes to ad-
mire. On Monday, Wednesday and Fri
day evenings-the other evenings of
the week being pre-empted by Mr..
Scott-he is accustomed to call on Miss
Wilson-which, by the way, is the young
lady's name-and sit for an hour, with
his chair tipped back against the wall,
discussing politics with old Mr. Will
son.
In almost every other locality the
betting would have been heavily in IA
vor of Mr. Scott, but the people of loot
ing, knowing Mr.. Dobbs' character,
and being persuaded that when he IN
dertakes to do anything the chances are
that he will do it at any cost, were
rather inclined to back Mr. Dobbs. In
fact, for the last six months the betting
has several times been 10 to on Dobbs,
and on one occasion, when he bought
new pistol on Wednesday morning, so
hopeful did his marriage prospects seem
to his hackers that they offered to
on him, with few takers
1t was often remarked that Mr. Scott
lacked energy and that when Mr..
Dobbs was entirely ready to marry the
girl he would kill Mr.. Scott, pitch old
Mr.. Wilson out of the window and
carry off his bride to the nearest church
Then Miss Wilson took part in pic
mic excursion, and Messrs. Dobbs and
Scott, of course, were also Of the party.
The entire company, including, say, 80
persons of assorted sexes, were lounging
after dinner on the bank of the stream,
when Miss Wilson suddenly felt de-
sire to walk out on log that projected
into the water. Mr.. Scott implored her
not to do it, and Mr.. Dobbs, tenn
porarily removing his pipe from his
mouth, remarked, you'll get pretty
wet if you try it"
Nevertheless, the willful beauty per-
sisted in her purpose. She had nearly
reached the end of the log when it
turned under her, and, with sharp
shrek she fell headforemost into the
stream. The water was about 4 % feet
deep, with a bottom Of soft mud, and
into this latter the head Of the unfortu-
nate young lady penetrated some dis
lance. Being thus anchored as it were,
her feet waved wildly above the surface
and mutely begged for help.
II xuaS an oyUf11IlU eoo,,o
and most of the ladies who were pres
ent said that though 10 one could call
them prudish, they must say that Miss
Wilson's conduct was shameful
Mr.. Scott and Mr.. Dobbs simultane-
ously rushed to the rescue. The former
first reached Miss Wilson's feet, but in
stead of seizing them and pulling her
out stood as though wrapped i'll pro-
found thought In another moment Mr..
Dobbs was at his side and would have
caught the nearest of the waving feet
had not Mr.. Scott laid his hand on his
arm and begged him to reflect.
sit will be, said Mr.. Scott, "to the
last degree indelicate to pull her out by
the feet, and 1 am sure she would not
like it. At any rate, let us ask the gen.
tlemen to withdraw and then leave the
ladies to extricate our poor friend -
To this Mr.. Dobbs simply made a
monosyllabio and theological reply and
promptly hauled Miss Wilson out.
When that young lady had been some
what repaired, her first act was to slap
Mr. Dobbs' face and tell him that he
was brute and coward to insult her
by pulling her out by the feet. Mr.. Scott,
eager to improve the opportunity, has
tened to remark that he had warned Mr..
Dobbs not to do it and had himself re-
Trained from touching her feet. Anoth-
er slap and demand to know if he was
really fool enough to be willing to let
her drown was the reply which aston
ished Mr.. Scott, after which Miss Will
son burst into tears and called her ia
Their to take her home.
Now, here was young lady who was
angry with one man because he had
pulled her out Of the water and with
another because he had not done so. 70