The western sentinel. [volume] (Winston-Salem, N.C.) 1887-1926, 1897-07-15
ADVICE TO MOTHERS.
HOW TO AID THEIR CHiLDREN'S Sc
LECTION OF FRIENDS.

What to Do When the Little Ones Make
Undesirable Acquaintance In the Neigh
borhood and There Is Trouble In the
Back Yard.
Quite the most important branch of eti-
quette for woman to study is that which
has TO do with the pleasure, comfort and
protection of her children. 1t is a species
of nursery and back yard diplomacy that
the young ones themselves don't under
stand and that the average woman is pain
fully ignorant of, but it has everything to,
do with maintaining her own station ard
good name in her neighborhood or town or
street.
Its very first mission is to regulate ano
control the childrens list of visiting ana
PLAYING acquaintances, for small boys and
girls are scarcely expected to show sage
discretion in their choice of friends. They
are not capable of observing that though
Johnny Jones is d capital boy in himself his
family and surroundings may not be in the
least desirable, nor can they see that while
Johnny Jones comes of a first family and
is charming playmate he is in reality and
by reputation II bad boy and one to be
avoided.
The fact is that often enough vulgar,
vicious or i'll raised youngsters have "a Per-
feet fascination for we'll bred and gentle
little ones, and to effectually break up such
communicating influences as these poorly
assorted friendships bring about is most
delicate duty of msther. Her single aid
is the arts of etiquette, for the only other
means is almost surely fatal-that is, to
offer the children explanations or denials
and punishment where the Objectionable
Johnny Jones is concerned.
To explain to your small daughter Jen-
ME that the drawback to little Flora
Brown is her vulgar, berouged mother and
drunken father is to have this, your private
opinion, made known to poor Flora and
50 ON to the entire town, for childish
tongues know no law. To stonily forbid
Jacky afternoon at ball with naughty
Dicky White and punish him for trans
crossing the rule is to incite Jacky to So
cret enjoyment of Dicky's society.
The safe and only method is to be con-
stantly and carefully questioning the nur-
sery inhabitants as to their youthful
friends and always insist that any child
whose games they take part in, and whose
house they are asked to visit, shall be in
vited to their own nursery and to meet
their own mother. If a child refuses or
avoids coming, one can quickly and right
~ conclude that either there is something
quite wrong with the young friend, or the
child's parents object to anything like in
timacy with ones own children. Then it
is very easy to make Jennie and Jacky I'M
derstand that the boy or girl who is too
shy, ashamed, Indifferent or proud to meet
their mother is not friend to be cultiyat-
ed. Children are loyal little souls, will act
promptly on this suggestion, and SO :.
snobbish or undesirable acquaintance il
easily dropped.
In an instance where nice children are
taken ON Jennie's and Jackys visiting
lists, and the parents are unacquainted,
some mutual understanding should in
variably exist between them. If a party
is ON foot and invitations are extended to
the little Browns, it is the duty of Jen-
MES mother to write a courteous note to
Mrs. Brown, explaining what the enter
tainment is to be and expressing the hope
that the young ones will be present If
Mrs. Brown responds cordially, nothing
more is needed to assure the mother that
all the young guests come with the heart,
consent of their parents.
But let us suppose Mrs. Brown to bo
what Jennie's mamma might characteris-
tically call Every horrid person, with
whom she would shudder to claim even a
lowing acquaintance, while Mrs. Brown s
little daughter is sweet and charming
child Can the pretty, inoffensive Flora
have Jennie at her partiesf Can she re-
main as one of Jennie's best friends?
Certainly not, because consistency is a
Jewel which mother should, so far as
possible, carry bright before her children s
eyes, and therefore she must make it clear
to them that Mrs. Brown is not one of hen
friends, nor ever likely to be. That is WHY
she writes no notes to Mrs. Brown, and
though Flora may come to her house, Jen
ME cannot go TO play or be Toasted in the
house of lady her mother holds no COM
clunication with.
The same reply can be made to little
Flora, who will probably carry it on to
her mother, who will not in the turn be
slow to interpret its meaning, though no
cruel or snobbish Interpretation can Ice
truthfully made from it. Such common
cases as this behoove mother always to
make the acquaintance of the families of
her children's friends.
The case just as often arises however,
where Mrs. Brown is really a good friend
of Mrs Jones' and yet Mrs. Browns chill
dren are spoiled, even vicious, and there
fore impossible chums for the well raised
Jennie and Jacky. Then the heroism of a
good mother comes to the front. She can
not exclude the bad little Browns unless
Mrs. Brown goes, too and better lose a
dozen Mrs. Browns than expose her boy
and girl to II single evil influence
Where in her own yard or nursery a
quarrel arises between her children and
their guests she must never fail to make
her own boys and girls offer the first and
instant apology, this no matter if the
guest was chiefly at fault and deaf she
should remain to any explanations. Her
children must learn to respect their roof
IN the face of all insults, though the young
guests may not, and any Mrs. Jones is
right who takes mortal offense at a COM
plant offered against her children. If
Mrs. Jones boy is nuisance, let Mrs.
Brown cut him off her children's visiting
list and refuse him admittonce to her
house, but it is cruel, unfoTl!iy able and
useless intrusion to carry the 1ale of his
impurities to his mother.
If the Jones child is, however, guilty OF
some great fault at Mrs. Browns house,
the proper course for Mrs. Jones to pursue
Is to take her son instantly to Mrs Brown,
make him apologize, and herself offer
every reparation and regret. This she
must do in person, and not by note. nor
send her boy alone. Where a child COM
mits some piece of mischief in house it
Is not the mistress mission TO tattle on
him, even though the child may never tell
his parents, nor is it ever Mrs. Jones
mission to correct the Brown child in the
smallest particular.
If his manners and mischief making are
troublesome, let licr exp lain this to her
children and refuse to entertain them, but
never, even if Mrs. Brown comes to learn
what is the matter, reveal her sons iniqui-
ties to her.
Say, very frankly, Mrs. Brown. if any
thing has gone wrong, you must learn it
from your child; it is not my business tc
remember It. Edith Brown In Chicago
Record