The record-union., 1897-01-24
Was | A COWARD?
Was 1 coward? Reader you shall

| Before QeScr1DlnS the supreme mo-
ment Of my life, when my courage was
tried to the uttermost, it is necessary
to the right understanding of my tale
to give a brief account of my early
days.
| During childhood 1 was weak and
sickly, passing through several severe
illnesses, the consequence of which was
| that l did not go to school till some
two years after the usual age; and all
this time 1 had been much coddled at
| home, and carefully kept from seeing
anything of the rough side of life. Per-
| hapS this accounts for my great weak
ness, which was an absolute horror OF
| fighting or rough usage of any sort
even an unkind or harsh word would
| make me miserable for day or two
afterward.
With this weakness strong upon me,
was sent to a rough-and-tum old
fashioned grammar school, where the
boys had to fight hard and often be-
fore they could command any respect
or peace: and life was hardly endura-
BILE for those poor boys who like my
self, dreaded the ordeal of battle.
Added to this, we were half starved,
and all cur pocket money used to go
in buying food, chiefly black puddings
(reader, do you know what they are0
to satisfy the cravings of hunger.
With all my fear Of fighting, there
was no fear of danger in other ways.
IL there was any daring thing to be
done, incurring risk of limbs or even
| life, l was among the foremost to un-
dertake it. For instance, we used to be
kept carefully within bounds, and were
| never allowed outside the playground,
| so our only chance of procuring any
extra food was by getting out of one of
| the bedroom windows at night when
everybody else had gone to bed, and
going up into the town. To do this.
we had to walk along a narrow shoot,
and then with the help of an old vine
climb down descending pipe. This I
could do without the least fear, though
slip at the top meant almost certain
death. But when it came to fighting,
| it was quite different matter. 1 would
do everything 1 possibly could to avoid
it; and when forced to fight, as I some
times was, 1 fought badly, and always
got the worst of 1t. In justice to my
self, L must say that 1 believe my dis
like to giving punishment was quite as
great as my dread of receiving it. AS
a result, my first two years at school
were years of misery; STILL during that
| rough time health and strength in
| creased and as l became very good at
all games, particularly cricket and foot
ball, l lived down the bad name l had
got for want of pluck
Strange to say, with all my fear of
| fighting, as l grew up my one great de-
sire was to become a soldier. I studied
with avidity all the books which told
OF the great soldiers and sailors of the
early part of the century Wellington,
Napoleon, Nelson, Napier, Cochrane,
and the like were my heroes; and my
parents, after a time, took me away
from the old grammar school and gave
me a military education, and in due
time was gaZetted to an infantry reg
| iment.
1t was the year 1852. Europe and the
world In general seemed to be in state
OF profound peace, and as far as man
coulu judge, war was never farther
away than it seemed then. Conse-
quently, no fear of my ability to per-
form well soldiers part in battle
marred my joy at donning her majesty's
uniform, and set to work hard to learn
all the details of a soldiers life. and even
studied tactics and strategy on my
| own account
AS there was no fighting to be done,
and as l was good at nearly everything
| else, fair shot, a daring rider across
country. and a good tempered fellow to
| soon hQa9 M a l.,
my regiment.
| had one special chum Charlie Seton.
He was sub of about the same stand
ing as myself, a splendid fellow in every
way, six feet in hight, and a perfect
specimen of manly Saxon beauty
| broad -shouldered, well-propOrtioned
with curly auburn hair and bright blue
eyes, and the brightest, cheeriest. pluck
lest fellow L ever had the good fortune to
know. The only thing Charlie was not
| good at was his drill, and in that i was
| often able to help him, as we were gen
| orally working near each other, and l.
from sheer love of the work, had very
soon got my drill by heart. But though
[ knew my drill better than he, l was
quite sure Charlie would lead his men
better in action. In many hard fought
cricket match, and in many a hard run
we were together, and if by any chance
either could do the other a good turn. it
was always done.
| Time went on, and little clouds arose
on the political horizon, and then one
day, as we were just going on parade, !
saw the newsboy in a state of great ex-
citement, and heard one crying, Dec
laration of war with Russia" 1t made
my heart jump into my mouth; and
while other men were rejoicing at the
prospect of active service, 1 had hard
work to conceal the state of abject fear
| was in. When | came off duty, and had
a chance of looking at the paper, found
it was only a declaration of war by Tur-
| key in which we had not Joined, so ]
| breathed freely again, and my spirits
revived. The fact was, Russia, having
occupied the provinces of Moldavia and
Wallachia, which at that time belonged
to Turkey, the Turks had no choice but
to fight or see their whole country over
run by the Russian hordes. The osten-
sible cause of the Russian advance was
to protect the Greek Christians at Jeru-
salem-the real cause was desire to get
hold of one more slice of Turkish terri
tory. The war between Turkey and
Russia broke out in October, 1858, and
for some time England looked on and
did nothing, and my peace of mind re-
turned l began to think that England
would do the looking on, and nothing
| else. At this time / tried with all my
might to shake off my terrible weakness
| but it was no use; the more / thought
about it, the more my fears of fighting
and death increased. so at last gave UP
| thinking about it as the best thing ]