New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-01-27

ter University. Having one day in the
classroom remarked tkat the Greek:
proposition "eis'' invariably means Gin
to-" be was reminded by one Of the pu-
pills that professor in another college
had asserted the contrary. SWELL" was
the reply, eff that be true, can only
say that he has slipped up on the 'eis,
that lie ;sal."
1t is said that Prof. ohm Seuart Black
ie often told IN himself this anecdote,
which seems to indicate that personall-
ties are not agreeable even to those who
deserve criticism. The genial old pro-
lessor used to form a very picturesque
feature in the Edinburgh Streets He was
a wiry old patriarch, with handsome fea-
lures and Ear falling IN ringlets about
his shoulders; no one who had seen him
could possibly forget him. One day he
was accosted by very dirty little boot
black with his-''Shine your boots, ar?"
The professor was impressed By the
filthiness Of the boys face. Il don't
want shine, nag lad," said a,e. "But If
5ou'll go and wash your face, I'll give
you sixpence.''
"a <,cht, SIR" was the Lads reply.
Then he went over to a neighboring
fountain and made his additions. Return
ing, he held out his hands for the money.
."Well, my lad,'' said the professor,
@.you have earned your sixpence. Here
atis.''
IL dunna want it, AUDI chap" returned
the boy, with lordly air. I'VE can keep
it and get yer hair cut!"- Youths Com
panion. !,
0 o
Some years ago Judge Poland of Yer
mont and Joshua Sawyer were opposing
counsel in case of assault and battery.
Sawyer had drawn prolix declaration
in which the assault appeared much
worse than the witnesses represented.
Commenting on this difference, Poland
told the jury that the declaration re-
minded him of an incident in his own
practice. Il began suit of this char
acter in favor Of Asa Barnard against
Ma jor Hyde, who had inflicted corporal
punishment on my friend for the trivial
offense of telling him he was a great
liar. Barnard asserted that the Major
had struck him blow on the head with
q heavy cane, and he came to me to OBJ
tain redress. I framed declaration in
tn counts, setting forth the beating,
bruisirg, wouading and evil entreating
with all the tautolog ical ronsense |
could command. In the last count re-
cited that Barnard's life was greatly de-
SPARED Of. ! read the declaration to
my client in voice almost as sympa
thetic as that in which my brother Saw
yer read his declaration to you. | noticed
the tears were coursinS down my clients
fur:owed cheeks in rivulets. 1 asked
him the cause of his grief. With sob
bling utterance he answered, i didn't
know it was half so bad before.
Court and jury laughed at this hum
orous suggestion that Sawyer's evidence
did not sustain his declaration, and many
thought that, witty as he was, he would
be unable to turn the laugh from him.
He made a long speech, and, as he was
about to close, said: ''Gentlemcn, you
appeared to be much delighted wher the
learned counsel related an inci.ent of
ms own practice. I confess 1 was not
amused My old friend Barnard has
told me the story many times, out with
this difference: He said he did weep
when Poland read a long paper to him
but that paper was no: Poland's declara-
ton, but his bill.''
The retort upset everybody. Even
the grave Judge laughed, and no one en-
loved the reply more than Poland him
self.
0 . .......
The following is told of the distin-
guished lawyer, Joseph Choate. He and
his wife were at social gathering, whel,
the question was asked, "Who would
you rather be if not yourself?'' His wife
asked him for his reply: He answered
promptly: "Your second husband dear
Brambel's millions are a good deal
like the prosperity that was heralded tc
follow victory for the gold standard
They IRE long while coming.
The wealth and strength of a country