The evening times., 1897-03-08
DUNCAN ROSS DEFIANCE
Flung II at a Rent Agent Who
Wanted to Eject Him.
ALSO A BUCKET OF PASTE
The Valiant Broad Swordsman Had
Hired Monumental Hall for an Ex-
hibiti0n and Refused to Be Dis
possessed because of Its Unsafety.
Strategy Finally Succeeded.

sixth earl of Ross, held the fort. Real es
tate men, rent agents and men who didnf
know a rent receipt from prize fight, COM
binCd in an effort 10. dislodge him, bu
could not prevail against the stout hear
and the mighty right arm of the doughty
Scot. Then council OF war was held By
his enemies and they resorted to strategy,
They locked Duncan up in his citadel ant
lea him there to starye. Duncan could not
now help but hold the fort. In fact, the
fort held Duncan.
After his enemies had nailed up the ex-
its stoutly. they laughed and jibed Duncan
FROM place of safety. But Duncan still
held the fort Four long hours he sal
breeding upon the edge OF a soap-box, and
| finally decided that he would rather hold
some food than an Y old fort; Duncan swung
his broad shoulders against the flmsy tar
ricadc. IL gave away almost instantly,
aud Duncan once more breathed the air
OF reedom. 1t all came about in this way:
Duncan Z. Ross is a big scotchman who is
eRdeayoring TO revive tie customs OF old.
and make the play with the iapier and the
bioadSwond features IN earniyals OF sport,
| pattemedaft aftertlIe old Roman fieiddays. For
this reason Duncan is tlayelng about the
y
tial combats. According 10 himself he
comes out of each. tournament with fresh
1 laurels won. lie gave several exhibitions
iere. meeting soldiers from Fort Myer,
andat one SUCH exhibition "A cayalryman was
arrested on the complaint of an officer Of
| the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty
10 Animals for cutting deep cash in IA
1 orse's head. and was fined in police court
| the next morning. Duncan then left off
giving these exhibitions, and no more was
heard OF him until tie last few days. Dun
cans accent is broad enough to make a
ostle of Scotch whisky leave a shelf and
follow hlm about like dog.
Ross wanted TO give exhibitions here on
Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of last
week and f-,oked about for a suitable hall
He found that Monumental Hall, the OLD
Globe building, on Pennsylvania avenue.
was exactly suited TO his purpose. He had
| a conference with Mr.. Il. III. Warner and
/ contract was made bet tween them for some
! exhibitions in this building upon per.
centage basis. Duncan made all his ar
rangements, had posters printed and mixed
up a bucket OF paste. He placarded the
! town. and on Wednesday and Thursday
nights played TO fair crowds.
Now, Mr. Ross had arranged as 2 fitting
climax to these exhibitions, a grand tug
Of war afoot and on horseback When Mr..
Ross engaged the building he did not
know that il had once been condemned d, and
that il would no t be safe To gallop whole
troop Of cavalry about on the second floor.
Friday night Mr.. Ross went early to the
hail, equipped for the nights entertain
rn.of and foun1 tho ala,.trie xrfr,-S emf and
come one occupying the premises.
'Mr. Ross, M afraid you can't give your
performance tonight came voice from
the inside, as Duncan paused before the
door.
"Ay dinna ken ye, mon, queth Duncan,
as he brushed past him.
But I am the renting agent for tire
hailding''
"Ay dinna ken it; shew me writing,
mon.''
The agent sad no written token of au-
thority from Mr.. Warner. but told Mr.. Ross
that he, Ross, must leave.
And haybe We can putt me oot?'' sug
gested Duncan, his chieftain blood be-
ginning to boil.
mo, but can get a policeman who can
responded the young man.
Duncan walked over to corner, picked
up bucket ofpaste nd emptieditfiercely
upon the floor. "Thot shews ye how
mooch ay care for your building said
Duncan.
"Oh, that don't cut any ice," responded
the young man.
This answer set Duncan's blood on fire.
He rushed over to where his effects were
stored and plucked claymore from its
scsbbard. He measured its six feet OF
length upon the floor, made halo of light
V swirling it about his head, and cried in
a voice of thunder:
Nay, nay, a Thousand times nay. Ne'er
as lang as drop of blud remains in this
body and this arm has strength to WELD
this trusty sword of his ancestor. the sixth
Earl of Ross. will Duncan c. surrender to
his enemies. Whoopr'
But he was addressing the empty air
The rent agent and his emissaries had fled.
Duncan was alone in his castle.
The rent agent, however, was a phi
losopher IF he won't come OUT he
argued. why let him stay in So he
secured boxes and barrels, locked and bar
ricaded the doors and windows and left.
Duncan stood in deep meditation for sew
tEdiuOuIS- slE Hdcbt dSSttc hHNSHOi
il were better to be a prisoner in ones
own castle or a free man with the world
as his heath. But here is where modernity
initiated against the anachronism OF such
thoughts. A ham sandwich got mixed up
in his mind with the thoughts OF his an
cestors and their castles. That ham sand
witch would crop in every time and knock
the props from under the chatcaux he
was building in Spain or Scotland, as the
case might be ,ani he would wonder how far
it was TO the nearest dairy lunch room.
and would cast a longing glance in the
direction OF the paste split upon the floor.
Finally the ham sandwich became ram
pant and oyercame and threw all the
other thoughts out OF his brain. Duncan
gathered together all his belongings,
climbed over the barricade, and with
stout shove broke the rusty lock from
the door, and once more walked the streets
of Washington, free man. It is a mat
ter OF history that Duncan did not leave
a nearby restaurant for more than two
hours. Thus the matter rests.
Policeman Greer Has Resigned.