The Topeka state journal., 1897-08-09
BOWSER AND HIS BAR
AMATEUR GYMNASTICS PROVE Ex
CITING IF NOT BENEFICIAL.

Are Whitening and Begins a Course o.
observation-disclosures the Cat" an Act Hs
Is Not Up On.
"What's all this truck you had sent NJ
here this afternoon?" asked Mrs. Bowse1
as her better half came home to dinner the
other evening.
He replied that he would explain after
he had satisfied his appetite, and when
they arose from the table he removed his
coat, barred his right arm and said:
Mrs. Bowser, feel this arm, will you?''
"Have you got rheumatism?' she asked
as she ran her hand over it,
'tYou have heard of withered limbs,
haven't you? Well, my arms and legs are
going to wither and become of no earthly
use to me unless something is done right
away. I've suspected it for a long time,
but was not sure until had talk with a
doctor today
care you going to take q course OF
treatment?' she asked.
'That's it exactly, and I hope to check
the whitening business in the bud. Yes,
am going right at it this evening. Think
what would happen, Mrs. Bowser, If my
legs refused to hold me up-if my arms
lost their strength until could no longer
feed myself
"Where's your medicinef'
81 shall take no medicine. What is
wanted in this case is exeroise-plenty of
exercise. am now going to put up a per-
forming bar in the garret and do some per-
forming, according to the DOCTORS orders.
ooh, that's it! I thought it bout time
for you to get another foolish notion into
your head. If you need exercise, why
don't you do some walking-get half a
cord of wood and a bucksaw, buy a spade
and turn up some earth in the back yard?
If some man would come along and tell
you your toes were falling off, you'd be-
lieve hinl''
'tMrs. Bowser, what do you know of
anatomy?' he demanded, with great dig
nifty.
"And what do youP' she retorted
Enough to believe doctor when he
says my arms are gradually shrinking
away until they will soon be pipestems,
and all for the want of exercise. He has
told me what to do, and I'm going to do
1t. If you want to shrive1 and shrink, go
ahead, but don't propose to die that way.
shall put up my performing bar and per-
form.''
She made no further protest, knowing
that words would be useless, and Mr..
Bowser carried the bundle of stuff to the
garret and began work. In the course of
half an hour he had his bar up, and, hav-
ing removed all unnecessary clothing, was
ready to begin. Mrs. Bowser came up
just then and inquired what he was going
both hands and swung back and forth and
replied:
''You see the object, Mrs. Bowser. The
first idea is to strengthen the muscles of
the arm, and that is done by sustaining
the weight of the body I find that can
not have been able to. You have heard of
Samson, of course? He began on per-
forming bar like this
"You'd get more exercise by carrying
the ashes out of the cellar" she said as
she turned away.
"That's you, of courseI' he exclaimed
as he dropped from the bar. cts enough
that want to do anything that you should
oppose it. If you'd wake up some morn
ing and find me withered up like an old
bean pod, you'd rejoice in your heart
You won't have that satisfaction, how
ever. I already feel better than have in
three months
"I'u get the camphor and other things
ready" she called from the head of the
stairs.
He waited until she had disappeared
and then resumed his swinging. There
wasn't much fun in this, as it made his
arm ache, and he PRESENTLY decided that
his legs ought to have show. He had
seen leg thrown over the bar in gym
nasium, and he set out to do it, He got
the swing all right, and he lifted his leg
just at the right instant, but just as he
thought he had made success of 1t some
thing fell on the floor with a jar that
shook the house. 1t was Mr.. Bowser. He
had missed the 'hang'' of it. For long
minute he lay there looking up at the
ceiling and trying to make out what had
happened. Then, as things began to clear
up, Mrs. Bowser appeared and asked:
care you trying to break your back to
keep your arms from withering? l thought
the whole house was coming down."
Woman gasped Mr.. Bowser as he
slowly sat up, ''you hoped I had killed
myself, but only sat down to rest. You
can trot right down stairs again and at
tend to your household affairs
She disappeared, and he took three or
four minutes to study it out. He had not
swung his body hard enough, and he tried
to throw his right leg over the bar instead
of the left His back and shoulders eohed,
but he rose up with a grim determination
to succeed or die. He was in no hurry,
however. He went at it cautiously, and
after three or four efforts he suddenly
lifted himself, and his leg went over the
bar. For ten seconds he was tickled half
to death as he hung there. Then it occur
red to him that he had got to get his leg
down again or remain on the perch all
night. He tried again and again, but he
couldn't do it, and, losing his nerve, he
called for Mrs. Bowser.
''What are you trying to do?'' she asked
as she came running up stairs.
ITO get that leg off the barl'' he
shouted.
"But don't you see that you can't do it
unless you raise your whole body? You
are sagging down like a bag of sand.
What did you want to get your leg over
for?'
81 dunno, but something will have to
be done.'
"Better leave it up there all night.
1La--o eli hat nj rlvTrr1
is withering away, and the position may
do it good
'Can't you help lift me up?" he plead
cd 81 dnn,t helieza I can hold on here