The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1897-12-30

r;4+,o -,,...,- No. 7e.-~--,--" psfie~~c.
Next to the difficulty experienced by the
ordinary American in compromising the
English language in London, the EngilSh
way monopolizes a good portion OF MS ulhe
and patience The fair Julia makes my
bill out ''to Wednesday" when l came on
Thursday. She says there can't pc TWO
Thursdays in one week, which Wou.i DC
the case if the account ran from ThufsGHy
to Thursday. / worked on julia LOT Nall
an hour in the effort to show that she was
wrong only to have her more positive than
at the beginning of the argument. Accord
ing to the well-known rule that those VINO
disagree with you are pfgheaded, IL Wohlu
certainly appear that Julia is pigheaded L
regret to say this. as otherwise Julia is
all right. In the curve of our saloon bar
she is even artistic, and she can say
"Reallyn with more quavers, tr1lls. iniiec-
lions and demi-semi-quavers than an artll-
lery bugler can get out OF reVeill2. But
artlessness is in every movement or my
maid, who puts the poker standing upward
in the CRATE to make the fire burn. 1
thought it was carelessness at first, but
when / saw the same thing in an English
mans house I was told that 1t was one CT
the English maid servants ways. One of
the early troubles is getting accustomed 10
the doorknobs or levers that usually sup
plant that useful article. They invaribly
turn the wrong way. No amount OIL e%-
perience with given door will enable You
to turn the crank the fight way the u,St
time-you throw your weight onto the right
when it is made to operate in the opposite
direction. And people on the street collide
with you for the same reason. I've been
knocking against everybody in London.
The train you want is over on the other
track-the wrong track, of course. You
find this out after getting left. The right
is left and the left is right That is one
reason the United States was founded.
People wanted to escape these hardships.
Hand Unsurg by Alhions Poets.
The barmad hand is unknown in Amer
lea We have the baseball hand. the piano
hand and the typewriter hand, but this
barmaid hand is a distinct type. 1t is big.
and resembles somewhat the graceful lines
of shoulder of mutton. Then it is red,
and as rough as sandpaper. The finger
ends are stumpy and the nails are the nails
of a coal HEAVIER. 1t seems to hang on the
woman wrong side front The mere idea
of asking for such a hand in marriage
seems monstrous. Pretty barmaids are
largely a myth in London. But the bar
maid hand is a practical entity. 1t comes
from working beer pumps. washing bot
ties, yanking corks and scrubbing bars.
There are from ten to fifteen of these
pump handles working forward and down
ward, like a railroad switch; and when
customer calls for 'bittah," the barmaid
grabs one of these ornamental handles and
throws her weight it. She does this
about ten times q minute from morning
till night and half of the night. Hence the
barmaid hand. For when 1t comes to
swilling liquors of all sorts these English
beat the Dutch We are not in any sense
'in it" with them except on election
nights. Scotch whiskey, gin and brandy
are consumed by wholesale and retail by
male and female. An English lady-thats
what the maid called her-emptied a great
bottle of Scotch in our coffee room at one
sitting the other day, then called a cab
and went down town shopping. I saw hun
dreds of women in the st. James res
taurants last night. almost every one
drinking Scotch whiskey or gin in some
form. From tuppence to six pence drink
would be dog cheap in the states. Beer
as we know 1t is comparatively unknown
here. They say it is too light for the eli
mate