The Globe-republican., 1897-11-04

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byEmlnont Word Artists Of Our Own Day
"A Budget Of Fun.
sprinkles Of Spice.
down Is up, said the feather Nor
chant-Uni0n County Standard.
WHEN money gets tight it gener
ally goes to the lock-up-Galveston
News.
A WARN WEATHER VERsION.-
Brink to me with thine ice. Boston
Transcript
A NAN who bears no one malice
regards it as q sort of Weakness
Atchison Globe.
. JAGsON says the greatest scenter.
piece for the table Is q slice of linn.
burger. Gazette.
In all the reduction of pay now 20
ing on the wages of sin remain the
same.-Pittsburg Chronicle.
In the matter of hair-dressing why
shouldn't we take the queue from
the Chinese? Courier.
IT is certainly cruel for the lynch.
ing party to keep the victim in sus-
pense.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
WALTER BEsANT calls us a nation
Of slammers. Oh, no! It's the
Turks who slam. Herald.
THE chef makes no pretensiona
as a sharp-shooter, but he can held
his own at the range.-Elmira Ga.
zette
THE question which confronts us,
howled the orator, els how to con.
front the question. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
MRS. BRIDIE+Did you taste an,
Of that pudding I made for dinner:
Mr.. Bridie-Yes; I tasted it for six
MoTHER-Willie, here is a dose o,
oil. Come, take it like a mau.
Willie - All right. Where's the
whisky?-Puck.
DEBToR-Don't get scared, the ao
count will be paid in time. Creditor
That's what I'm afraid of.-Cleve.
land Plain Dealer.
AN auctioneer, even if he does no,
like his occupation himself, wants ia
have other people follow his calling.
Rochester Democrat.
SOME people haven't any more
sense with their schemes than the
hen that takes day of while set
ffn~ fohionp
"SOLED out, he murmured to him.
self, as the father of his best girl
gave him a lift at o'clock in the
Observation-Disclosures Press
HoPs in upper New York will aver
age only half crop. It's been the
same way all summer at the sea-
shore hote's. Philadelphia Ledger.
THE laundry girls of to-day think
their lot hard one, but it was in
the days of Queen Elizabeth that
they really had a ruff time of it
Troy Press.
WHATEVER the state of the couu.
try since the coming of the new
comet, the astronomers business at
least has been looking up.-Philadel.
phia Times.
That familiar advice, Let dog,
delight to bark and bite, is perhaps
the only instarce on record where q
log fight has been encouraged by the
MISREPRESENTATION Star.
MRS. YoUNaQuAcK-You are Sc
persevering and hopeful, dear! You
remind me of Patience sitting on
DR.. YoungQuack-Ifeel
blue enough to remind you Of the
sitting on my patients.
Puck.
MIR. SPIKER lin search of board.
ing house, There is no limit to the
1iet, presume, madam? Boarding.
housekeeper (proudly)-No limit.
sir. During last year five of my
)oarders died from over-eating.-
rit.Bits.
ST. PETER--What did you do Oh
,arth? Spirit-I wrote the poetry
advertisements for the elevated roads.
st. Peter-We don't want you here.
You had better try the other place.
SPIRIT did, but they wouldn't let
ne in.-,Judge.
"WELL, Mollie," said her papa,
Who is a militia colonel, did you SCI
ne marching up Broadway to-day?'
Yeth," said Mollie, land I was real
mad, papa. They might have let
'ou have drum to play on like those
'thers had.-Harper's Bazar."
RANDOM OBsERvER-Pardon me,
tut what are you putting down in
our notebook? Worlds Fair Wis
I'm just putting down the
hiDgs that have made an indelibls
upon my memory so that
won't forget them.-Chicago Rec
I'd.
as that your daughter making al
hat noise. Mrs. CiantvS" AMyI