The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-09-02
B'RER TOMS EPITAPH

''Nh ych Hitt yOu ntNb
nothin ter do but walk inter dc house an
hang up yer hat" observed Malvina to
Tom for about the hundredth time.
You was powerful glad, doh, ter soc
dat hat a hangin dere, he answered mild.
ly "Arter losin three ole men didn't
want ter break yer heart ag'in, Malyiney,
by marryin dat good lookin yaler gal dat
use ter visit at de preachers"
You was considerin dat elementary or
gan o. yourn more dan anything else"
was the reply. Malvina had lived at Judge
Andrews while Miss Ida was studying
physiology and had made the most of her
opportunities.
"Dat good lookin yaller gal, indeed I"
she repeated wrathfully. You'd better
say dat good fer nothin, peart, stuck up,
highly, long tongued, imperent gadding
busybody, what amt never had no more
lig'on dan-dan mewl What'd you "a
done all desc yeahs widout perfessin
Christian woman ter keep de roof on over
yer headS"
Tain't no use argyfyin wild dat man
after he say dat, affirmed Malyina when
she related the conversation to Ida who
was home on her first visit since her mar
riage. He's been mopin roun dc whole
endurin fall anyway, an I'ze feared he'll
go off kinder suddenlike. Dat seems ter
be de fashin now, an Toms allus been
mighty proud bout follerin de styles, you
know, she chuckled
What seems to be the matter with
himY" asked Ida.
Il clare, honey, it do sholy seem like
ole times ter see you gettin on dat tn BILE.
spry as lark, declared Malvina as she
gazed affeotionately at her former nurs-
ling through cloud of steam rising from
the clothes boiler She gave the clothes
final punch, then lighted her pipe and
sat comfortably down to discuss her trou-
bles
well, in de fust place. Tom had game
foot fer bout a month right at de time
do taters orter been dug. Dat foot seem
ter feet his whole symptoms, an he got
dat mournful an pernickity dat he sets
out on de poach wild bis eyes bout half
shet nearly do whole day. Den a curious
thing happened. Dem little scissors dat
he alius sleeps wild under his piller TO keep
of de ghosts got lost out, an he amt new
or had no hopes O. gettin well sence den.
i tell him losin dem little shears amt GO
in ter cut off his days, an he SEE faint de
scissors dat'll do it, but 1t am a bad sign,
an somethin will sholy happen when dey
disappoah dat way, but dat amt all yet,
honey" continued Malvina impressively,
and her voice sank to almost n whisper as
she went on "He 'clares he had special
warnin, Miss Ida. Hedo, indeed"
''You don say so, Aunt Viney"
"Yessum, lisa fac. He seq 1t come in
a vision while he's settin on de poach. He
had his eyes shet thinkin o. de kingdom
come, when he heerd a strange SCUM like
de buzz an fioppin o. wings. When he
woke up out o. his trance, he sez he saw
somethin bright an shinin like wheel o.
fire, an he 'olares on de good book dat
settin on dat wheel like closepin was a
bootiful angel, wild garments floatin out
on dc wind. Invent kitin by like light
min an faded away roun dc corner out o.
sight fore he could say 'katl What you
laughin fer chile?"
Ibid you never hear o. a bicycle, Aunt
Viney?" asked Ida when she could get
her breath
whats dem?"
The old woman listened with an incred
ulous air as Ida rather graphically de-
soribed the bicycle, then asked suspicious
ly: s'r-
"You amt poked fun at yer ole man.
my, is you, honey?"
"Why, of course'not. They are as COM
mon as-as buggies, anywhere except in
this little Rip Van Wrinkle town"
''Chile, I'ze feared youse backslid sence
you been ter dat wicked city," interposed
Malyina severely. sit amt keepin de
oomman 'ments ter talk onrespectful o. de
town where yer pairints live; but, tell
you" she proceeded, dat maybe de vi
sion he see was some newfangled fxin o.
de ole boy hisself, but he lowed den it was
one o. de signs o. dc times, an all do wise
virgins orter have dere lamps trimmed an
burnin.
It was the next afternoon that Tom
himself went over to pay his respects to
Miss Lidie," and, after giving a detail
ed physiological character sketch of him
self, with evident embarrassment he re-
marked that he would like to ask favor
of her.
"why, IN do most anything in reason,
guess, Tom, she promised.
"Well, you see honey, wild all dc impli-
cations o. desc diseases an Malviney allus
fldgetin roun like a rooster on a hot skill
Let, Ize likely ter be tuck any time, an
want ter be prepared fer dc comm o. de an
Malsiney. She am 'sholy powerful man
egin woman, but she am kinder abstractin
at times foun out dat dc best way ter
keep kan an elected when yer wife gets
ter fussin roun is ter begin cbaSvin on lit
tie stick. / reckon done chawed up near
onter a cord o. wood dat way in de last
four or five yeahs."
"Oh. it's just Aunt Viney's way to he
always scolding around, Tom. Her bark
is worse than her bite, said Ida sootb.
ingly.
"Dat am true, chile, but mattermony
am a persiition (position) dat der is no
'scapin from after you take its 'sponsibili-
ties. Death comes liker sweet release from
dis wicked world, he piously added with
out any reference to his preceding remark.
But 1t am better ter be prepared"
What Is IL you want me to dor" asked
the young woman curiousiy.
"It's something that I'ze feared wouldn't
git done, honey, II didn't tend ter it an
would be sight o. comfort IL you'd jest
be kind an 'bligin 'nough ter write my
death down in dis yere little Bible" he
explained as he carefully unwrapped It,
"But how can ~ You aren't dead yet"
dat don't meek no diffance at all II
u. IL, Il, .J..f n