davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
A Queer professor"

The state of things that may result
from the persistent misuse of an hon
orable word is well satirized by a little
story told by a Philadelphia paper. A
train, 1t says was about to leave a sta
ton when a young man in n of the
cars leaned over the seat Of an elderly
gentleman, shook hands with him, and
said:
"Good-by, Professor!
'Good-byT said the elderly man, and
the young man went out and the train
moved on. A man who sat in the next
seat eyed the elderly man sharply a
few minutes, and then leaned yer and
said to him:
kin We do any tricks with cardsT"
NO; l never touch a card"
"Mebby We play the planny?"
Il know nothing of music, except IN
It's relations to mathematics"
The man stared n moment, and then
went on:
oval, We amt no boxer-I kin see that
by yer build. Mebby we play poolT
"Nov'
"Or shuffie-board"
81 never heard Of that-whatever II
is"
well, say, I've guessed We this time.
Wonder 1 didn't think of 1t before.
Ye're q meSmerist"'
II am nothing of the kind"
"Well, I'll give ye up! What is Yer
line?'
II am q professor of Greek, rhetoric
and ancient history"
"An' We can't do no tricks, nor play
music, nor hypnertize?"
'Of course not!'
The man turned and gazed out of the
window on the opposite side of the car.
"An' he calls himself a p~erfesser" lie
said to himself, musingly.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
The Champagne Industry Booming

In 1867 the champagne district ex.
ported more than 2S,000,000 bottles of
wine. Frances best customer In this
industry Is England. Our exporters
find in the United Kingdom an excel.
lent market. In 1894 and In the first
months of 1895 the exports for this
market fell off somewhat, like all the
others, but In the second half of 1S9.
the business became more active and
the diminution Of our im%portations Ii
England. which was 44.OO0 dozens OF
bottles for the first six months OF 1895.
was more than made up in the second
six months. The American market
does not come up to expectations. and
champagne wines have suffered from
the effect of the recent commercial
stagnation In that country.
The expectations to Belgium, Ger.
many and Russia have Increased In the
same proportion as those to England
Our expectations to Belgium amount
annually to about 100000 hottles.-
Economists Francois.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
May Raise the Art Standard.

Bouguereau has given a New York
Times correspondent his opinion Of the
tax upon foreign pictures in the Ding.
ley tariff. We'll, taken all in ALL" said
the artist, 81 really am inclined to think
the bill will have a good effect, judging
the matter from a high artistic stand.
point. My opinion IS that the standard
of art will be raised, because you must
know that ever since the passing Of the
act allowing free entry Of pictures into
the United States the place has beer
flooded with worthless works Of art.
Now the American public won't mind
paying 20 per cent. upon a genuine
work Of art, but 1t VIII be another mat
ter In the case of bad art; you will not
find picture-dealers willing to take the
risk of paying a tax on worthless can
yaseS.'
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Monkey Buried with Military Honors

A pet monkey belonging to Gunner's
Mate William Bentley of the naval
academy ut Annapolis recently died
and was buried with honors. Six sail
ors acted as pallbearers. Carpenter
John Jones made the coffin. The mon
key was named 'Chink.' He was pur-
chased by Mr.. Bentley last January at
Rio Janeiro and was n favorite aboard
ship. His death resulted from convul-
sions, caused by eating too freely Of
yellow paint, with which the deck Of
the frlgate Santee was being covered.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
WHAT HE fiADe.
The Man Told. and Yet the Professor Was
Not Sati9tied.
NEVADA

The Ma Told, and Yet the Professor Was
Not Satietied.
Professor B., who conducts the
clinic of nervous diseases at - Med
zeal college of Chicago, is himself a
very nervous and easily irritated man.
Recently at the close of IA long clinic,
when teacher and students were we'll
tired out, the assistant rushed III Il
asked to have exhibited a very interest
ing IA which had just arrived.
well, be quick about it," said the
doctor, and he proceeded to emphasize
some previous remarks concerning the
influence of occupation upon nervous
conditions, which point he proposed to
illustrate in the case TO be presented.
The patient, an awkward Swede,
having been hustled into a chair. was
now confronted by Professor B,
with the ~admonition to be brief and &C.
curate in his replies, as time was linn
tied.
Nov. sir. what do you dor" he CON-
menced.
law am not vera we'll"
mo. / say. what do you doi"
ooh, yasi Aw verk."
Eyes, l know. but what kind OF
work."
.'Oh, eet es hard verk."
Eyes, but do you shovel (illnstrat-
ing with gesture) ''or drive a car or
work at a machine, or do
"Ob, yasl Aw yerk at a masheen."
"Ahl What kind Of a machine?'
"Oh, ct ees a big masheenl'
BY this time the students were grin
ming broadly and whispering pleasan-
tries, all of which caused the professor tc
redden and break into a volley at the
poor Swede.
Nov look here, siri / want no more
of this. You answer the questions ask
You or go home. What do you make on
this machine?"
A ray of intelligence lit mp the face
Of the Swede and. with a confident
smile, he said: ''Oh, nov aw undersfan
vol Yo' yant to know vat aw max OF
the masheen. eesn't eff"
Yes, sir, that is it. What do yor
maker"
Jaw max II cents an hour. Ant
he and the class were dismissed, liar
per's Magazine.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
3 CAST AoRlFr.
rhree Thousand Picked Up In New
York City Annually.

ACH
York City Annually.
About 5000 babies are each year cas-,
adrift in New York City to be cared
for by the various charities. Accord.
ing to the records III average of 100
of them are found each year by the po-
lice where they have been abandoned.
They are picked up on doorsteps, In
Railways, In ash cans, on stairways. la
parks, in cars and in all sorts of places
where they can be deposited without
immediate observation. These are
mostly infants from a few hours to a
few days old, actually abandoned to
their fate, and who must be found soo
after their abandonment. IL life is to
be kept In their little bodies.
Besides these. there are about 1000
infants of very tender age abandoned
every year by their parents to the
mercy Of the city and the various char
table societies organized to care for
them, who are often taken by the
mother and frequently by other per-
sons interested to the various fOun-
ding Institutions, and there left In their
helplessness to be provided for by
charity. This little army of f0undlings
appears to be on the increase from
year to year, and the number of In
stances of the crime of infanticide Is at
the same time apparently decreasing.
Charitable provision for the care of the
baby often saves the life of the little
one.
When a policeman on his rounds finds
a bit Of . humanity, with a lingering
spark of life In Its body, hidden in
some out of the way corner, he at once
sends it to Bellevue Hospital and mott
ies the department of charities. That
department, IL no one claims the babe,
gives 1t a name, which is written on a
card, together with Its sex, presumed
age and facts In relation to Its finding.
With this card about its neck or fast
ened to Its arm, the little charge Is sent
to Randalrs island and becomes an In
mate OF the Infants Hospital, where 1t
Is expected to stay until 2 years old.
They do not usually stay there this
long, for the records show that 20 out
Of every hundred die before the two
years are completed-a large mortality,
but easily accounted for when WI con-
slider the abuse, neglect and exposure
the infants are subjected to before they
come into the care of a skilled physi-
clan. Many Of them are adopted and
some ara taken by other institutions.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Hindoo ChiIdren,s Preoooi,x.

A traveller who recently visited India
states that he was astonished by the
precocity Of Hindoo children. Many
of them are skillful workmen at I'M
age when other children are learning
the alphabet. One of the most Expert
in wood he saw was a boy of
I, and many Of the handsomest and
most costly rugs are woven by chill.
1ren not yet in their teens.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
A Delicate Industry.

The incrustation of precious woods
with mother of pearl Is In Hanoit,
French Tonquin, an important indus
try, an entire street, known as the
street Of the inlayers," being devoted
to 1t. Landscapes cleaning in the sun,
sheafs of many colored flowers. the
most delicate arabesques and many
other beautiful things are evolved by
the deft and plant fingers of the arti-
icers with the aid of the plainest and
crudest tools only, and marvellous cabi-
nets and other articles are fashioned
and put together without the aid of
nails by do~vetailing and lacquer Of
paste.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
sTuBBs WAS TOUCHED.
And He Gave Up His Fare to the Man
who Touched Him.

And He Gave UP HIS rare 10 the man
VINO Touched Him.
Stubbs is really not very absent
minded. but when he is riding on u
street car he makes it u point no. to
look at the conductor. 1t often saves car
fare, for there is something about
Stubs that makes him lucky enough to
be overlooked two cases in ten when he
boards n loaded car.
One morning he was absorbed in his
paper, and when he felt u touch on his
arm he mechanically passed out his
nickel and went Gu with his reading.
Later the conductor stood beside him
and murmured, Fare, please" but
received no attention. Stubs had pald
his fare. Then the abominable nuisance
der and held out his hand. saying stern
ly. Fare. please"
II paid you before. " said Stubbs as
affably as he could.
mo, you did not. Come, pass out
car fare"
MAN, / paid my fare when you were
around before" And Stubs thought for
"A HuJcN'-NO AV AhiSIU uoO With tLtiC
were ladies about. "You-you-infer-
nal-idiot, you are drunk or asleep, for
when you touched me on the arm l
passed out a nickel, and you must have
taken it, for it was the only one l had"
fumbling in his change pocket.
With a red face the conductor rang
the bell to stop the car, roaring, "You
will have TO pay your fare or get off
the car" i'll a tone that startled every
one. II did not get your nickel, and
you know it,"
At that minute the man who had
nudged Stubs 20 move over in the seat
he had occupied with him dropped off
the car and walked the other block to
his office.
The hex time Stubs rode in a
crowded car he gently touched the arm
OF an acquaintance and got even for the
8 cents he had lost and fer the chagrin
he had suffered. Chicago News.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Contests in a French Town.

Nogeant, the thrifty little town on
tined TO become famous for the oldest
contests enacted in modern times. Not
long ago the public place of the NUM-
tipality was the scene of a ace of Grip
pies, and n few days later a barrel
rolling contest was inaugurated, In
which some of the most prominent citl-
zens participated.
The other day the town was treated
to the unique spectacle of Il whip
cracking contest, with about fifty con
testants. The whips were, in class A,
the usual drivers whips, and in class
b the so-called perpignan, much resem-
bling the long whips used by lumber
men in northern Minnesota and Wis.
cOnsin IN their log sleighs.
at least thirty different kinds OF
cracking sounds can be made by these
whips in the hands of an expert, and
the prizes were distributed to those
who produced the most of these sounds
in rapid succession. The judges laid
considerable emphasis in this odd con
test on the kind Of crackings which
would stir a horse most without injur-
ing him. In conclusion, all the drivers
cracked their whips in chorus, which
had the effect of an ear-deafening can
nonade.
A driver by the name of Lermlssion
received the first prize. This man can
handle the whip In so mastery n man
ner that he Is able to crack 'The Mar
seillaise" and familiar French songs
out of it.--New York Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Authorship of the British Hymn.

The authorship Of the words and the
music Of God Save the Queen" to the
air Of which america Is sung, Is un.
known, though the most probable con-
lecture Is that which attributes the
words to John Bull, made Doctor Of
Music In 1891, at Oxford. The music
itself Is much older, but whether found
ed on a French original, is still more
uncertain than the authorship Of the
words. Some affirm that the words
we're written in the reign of James H.,
when william of Orange was lowering
on the coast, and that when the latter
became king, 1t was II reasonable
song, like Charlie Over the Water" at
a later period. Henry Carey's son laid
claim to II as a production of his faith.
er, who died in 1743.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
keeping His Word.

"You will remember said the van
deville performer on salary day, that
you said you'd take me on trial."
"Yes," said the manager.
"And IL I. suited, you said you'd pay
me big money
ooh, yes; so l did. Here you are.
Fifteen silver dollars. l always keep
my word. II you find any bigger mon.
ey In circulation than the silver dollar,
let me know, and I'll have this chang
ed for you."-Washington Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Same Old Dog.

Little Willie-Say, ma, have they got
a dog over at Deacon Smiths?
Mamma-No, dear; not that l know
of; but why do you ask?
Little Willie-Because when 1 was
over there yesterday l heard Mrs.
Smith tell the cook to chase the growl-
er as soon as the coast was clear.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Gold Discoverer Hanged.

The first man who discovered gold In
Australia was hanged for his pains
He was one of the first convicts trans
ported 10 Botany Bay, and when ht
learned the great secre he brought 4
sample 70 show his success, and was
promptly hanged by Gov. Phillip fol
attempted escape and to keep the de
moralizlng discovery unknown.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
The Return of Modesty.

This style of riding the bicycle has
been approved of by Charlotte Jones.
Anthony Cornstalk and th~irty-eight
different societies with crank plat
forms.-N. Y. World.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Queen victoria's New Yacht.

Queen Victoria is to have a new yacht
within two years. 1t will cost $780,
600, and will be the most luxurious
craft afloat. Other European over.
eigns use war vessels for pleasure trips.
Queen Victoria's yacht will be butt
after designs submitted to her. and will
have guns only for firing salutes.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Not COnpeniaI.

Bilkins-Why is it that your wife new.
er seems to be able to engage in con.
v%ersation with other women? When
there are men around she Is very en-.
tertaining, but the ONE folks tell me
that she hardly ever has a word to say
when she is alone with them.
M~urdock4-l guess the trouble is that
she has never been sick a day In her
life.-Cleyeland Leader
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

II tell you. there's nothing like Il good
college training 10 fit n young maj fol
life"
That's right. 1t hardens his muscles,
gives him great powers of endurance
and makes q man Of him."-NOrtb
American.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

Il noticed that you frowned at the
clergyman just as he was making the
announcements"
Yes, he is SO forgetful. / was afraid
lie was going to announce a service for
his evening. He and the vestrymen
DIN us in a moonlight spin to Handy
own and back."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Caught Him Yawnins.

NO. he said, after she had put her
guitar away, Il am forced to confess
that l have 1t ear fol-. music"
"Oh. WELL" she replied, IAN ear isn't
necessary in your case. l saw that you
rould take it through the mouth all
right."-Cleveland Leader.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
VIII Have to Hustle.

Mrs. lIuff-It makes me so mad when
| see how things are done. 1t will be
different when woman is emancipated.
Mr.. Huf-You bet. Then she'll have
to hustle round and wait on herself
Boston Transcript.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Early in the Field.

please. sir, gimme a dime: I'm a
Klondike sufferer"
Here; get out; you're a fraud. 1t
isn't time for Klondlke sufferers vet"
Yes. it is, sir; my wife supported me.
sir: an she's rushed Off to the Klondike
to take In washin'."-DetroIt Free
Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

Jimmie Farmerboy-Dan, I'm goin'
into the city an git a job.
The Old Man-Wall, what would you
dew In the city?
Jimmie-Oh, there's lots O. them root
gardens I've heern tell OH. Guess |
might git sumthin' tew dew weedin'
out some o them.-Detroit Free Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Thankful for Loss.

Sweet Sixteen-I wonder II my face
will change, too, when l am your age?
Thirty-six-Undoubtedly, dear, and
Tou ought TO be thankful for the loss of
1 portion of your cheek.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

as that young one going to stay
awake all nightY" asked Mr.. Lush
forth, Indignantly.
There is NJ right for you to COM
plain" retorted his wife. "He inherits
the habit from you."-Indianapolis
journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Pedestrians Rights.

Irate Citizen Ito scorcher)-Hi, there!
Have pedestrians no rights in this city?
Scorcher (whizzlng by)-Certainly,
they have funeral rites.-Brooklyn
Life.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

she Is the most inconsistent woman
I ever saw"
But you know 1t is a woman's priv
ilege to change her mind"
'Of course 1t is. That is what is ex-
pected. But this girl never doeS!"-
indianapolis Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Those KIondike Nights.

Those Klondike Nights.
.sThis Is a pretty time of night to get.
1ome!'
"No, m'dear; 'tisn't so very late. It's
only February si-slx by tn dining room
,al-calender."
us that all? l thought 1t was at
east the goth. Well, don't stand there;
all night. Go to bed."-Cleveland.
plaindealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

Next-Door Neighbor-Was it a kiss
ing match I heard last evening on your
piazza?
Alice-Oh. no; only Jack trying to
strike a match between us.-New York
Herald.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

L.eary Luke-Excuse me, madam, l
I ought you'd like TO know dat your
jorg is hungry.
Housekeeper-Is that so?
Leary Luke-Yes. ma'am, and mt de
same time ! could stand a piece of pie.
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Chicago Shane.

Il see that we expect to have 100000
square feet Mt the Paris Exposition"
Square feet? That must be the Chi.
cago kind."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
On the klondike,

Great heavens! they are going to
hang the man. Is he a murderer
''Wuss than that, stranger. He stole
4 dog."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

"That man." remarked an admlring
friend, 'has the faculty of saying clear
Y In q few words what Others would
'equire pages to express"
TOO bad.' said Senator Sorghum.
He'll never get along in politics; not
inless he learns to filibuster better than
hat.'-WashingtOn Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
LET US ALL LAUGH.
JOKES FROM THE PENS OF
VARIOUS HUMORISTS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-Sayings that Are Cheer
full to Old or Young Funny
Selections that You Will Enjoy.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Very Likely.

The Sugar-You're always taking
water; why don't you brace up end
show some grit?
The Milk-I would IL l only had your
sand.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Both Dead at the End

Bill-Don't they have two umpires,
low, in a game of ball?
Jill-Yes; when they start the game.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

In the country towns, a man shows
Ills symptoms of love by buying every
thing offered him for sale when his best
girl Is with him.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

Il asked little Jim the difference be-
tween. inertia and momentum"
Did he know anything about it:"
Yes; he said inertia Is something
that won't start and momentum is
something that won't stop."-Detroit
Free Press.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
The Remedy for Her.

John, bring home some pain killer
when you come up tonight. | twisted
my elbow giving Mrs. Bluegore the
high handshake."
1T isn't pain killer you need"
what Is 1t. them"
Fool killer."-Cleveland Plain Deal
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Another Explanation.

"Ah. 1 admire patriotism" he ex-
claimed as he looked at the little house
tucked away among the trees. Every
thing possible about the place Is red.
white and blue"
Yes; it belongs to n retired barber"
Chicago Post.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

She-Has your friend a good menu
,ryi
He-Well, yes; It's good to him. He
always forgets when he owes a feilow
any money.-Yonkers Statesman.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Her Doubts,

"You must make allowances. of
curse, for Joskin's manners; he's q
,ough diamond, you know" :
1.-The roughness l admit, but I'm
afraid the diamond Is only paste, after
ll."-Judy.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
No Need of Law,

Brlggs-This idea of a curfew law ls
all nonsense.
Braggs-Don't you think IT would
save a good many boys?
at might, but what Is the need of 1t,
when it would be easy to get an In
junction restraining them from the use
of the Observation-Disclosures Journal.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
To BE Envied.

II envy her complexion" said Maud.
But she has freckles and tans so
easily" replied Mamie.
That's just It.. She can go to the
seashore or mountains for a few days
at the end of the season and look ex-
lctly as If she had been away all sum
mel" --Washington Star.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
A Failing of the Sex.

Greene-Funny about my wife. She
has been running on dreadfully about
VIII Stunyun, and only a day or two
ago she declared Win was Il regular
trump.
Grey-That's all right. A woman.
you know, is hardly ever able to re-
member what's trumps.-Boston Trans
cript.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

Dogs Taxed According to Size.
In Hamburg the authorities tax a
dog according to Its size.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

Montana produced 81 ,53O.o13 pounds
Of wool this year and leads all other
States 10 q wool grower.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18

A good time is never as good as the
gecollectlon Of It.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-18
Easily P1eased Girl.

George-Dearest l would gladly lay
the whole world at your feel If 1t were
poSsible.