The Bemidji pioneer., 1897-04-22

in the landlady's
world, yet as far as can ascertain he
has seldom preceded her to any other.
begin to think that there is some spe-
cial purgatory for landladies' husbands.
Our landlady didn't like jokes about
grass widows and had a certain eager
ness to know about Oklahoma, which,
coupled with a proud way she had OF
saying that the children didn't get
their smartness from her, puzzled the
hotel clerk and threw the young man
who travelled for neckwear into state
Of philosophical conjecture. "Only a
desperate woman would run a hash
house, he said. "It's case of deser-
tion, bigamy or common law. This
darned, silly mystery-making in wom-
en- is what gets 'em into trouble. If
woman don't hang label On herself,
well, then, some ones a-goinc to label
her, and ten chances to one fasten the
wrong tag on The hotel clerk stuck
his thumb in his vest armholes and an
unlighted cigar in his mouth, which
was the attitude he invariably assumed
when discussing a woman, a menu, or
politician.
There are women" he said, who'd
sooner wear mask than tiara"
The hotel clerks pronunciation Of
TIARA was so unique as to be quite
outside of ordinary spelling. 1t was
soon after this conversation that
went to the intelligence Office with the
landlady. We take turns in this pas
time-partly out Of sympathy for the
landlady, who struggled for many
years single-handed against those ag-
gressive ranks of foreigners called
help" and partly at the suggestion Of
the hotel clerk, who said that the
boarders might as we'll have a hand
in picking out the ladies who were 60
ing to wear their collars and neckties
and read their postal cards for them.
Besides, as We have on an average five
cooks month, engaging them is an
arduous pursuit for one, The land
lady's gentleman friend had become
such an adept that he says he can tell
Flaherty from a McGinnis directly
he puts his foot inside the intelligence
office and we have the distinctive traits
Of the Flaherties and McGinnises
down very fine" at our boarding
house. A McGinnis breaks more china
than Flaherty, but then Flaherty
| goes off on monthly bats" + sug-
gested to the landlady that we should
try an O'Hara. We haven't had an
O'Hara for three months. The land
lady said that was so and picked one
out You can always tell the O'Haras
by their fiat chests and red hair and
rather stylish way they have of wear
ing their mistress shirt waists They
are a proud, high-spirited race, the
O'Haras, though their soups are ant
to be greasy. This one said she'd lust
as lief go out four nights in the week
as Saturday night and the whole of
Sunday, and while she wouldn't wash
windows or dust what she called
"bricky-bracky," she would do the DO
tato peeling herself and consent to
sleep in a room without double win
dows. This was concession for an
O'Hara. Then she commenced her side
of the catechism.
Are you anyways cranky about the
gal having visitors?"
The landlady said "No," but she drew
the line at aunts staying for three
weeks or gentlemen cousins eyery
night.
How many are yez in fambly?'
asked the O'Hara.
Besides the boarders there's myself
and two children" said the landlady.
rs yer husband dead?" asked the
O'Hara.
Hes not one of the family now"
answered the landlady, evasively.
The face of the O'Hara hardened. if
a salmon-colored block Of granite can
be said to harden.
"Shure," she said, "I'll not be think
in o. nvin' in family fwhere the hus-
band is missin' an ye can't give no
more satisfactory account Nv it than
that. I'll not hire out to no more grass
widders--it injers a gals repertation. -
So we had to put up with a F'lanni-
gan. They are not so exacting.
"Guess I'll have to get legal separa-
tion," said the landlady, musingly, as
we left the Office. ITS gettin' so ter
rible hard to get girl who'll overlook
o,p social breach "