davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Eyes" said Lungly, as the clock hands
neared the midnight hour. II think ]
shall accept the presidency Of that gas
company"
II should think you would be fitted
for the position" she replied.-Phila-
delphia North American.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

In order to assist the thousands Of un-
mems Home, at AZ Custom House Place, has
established Free Labor Bureau, and is
prepared to furnish men to farmers and
others in all parts of the country without
expense to either. Employers applying
should state definitely as to the kind OF
work, wages to be paid, and if railway fare
will be advanced Address Labor Bureau,
Workingmen's Home, ~ Custom House
Place, Chicago, Ill.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
Cnrrot sreetmeat..

Boil small, fine-grained carrots until
lender: peel and CRATE, add sugar, slips
Of citron, spices, if preferred, and wine.
Simmer slowly together and put away
IN jars. Very wholesome for children.
IN, Y. Jedger,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
This Great Age.

at is certainly wonderful how much
science can do for us"
Eyes; Mrs. Frontrow has learned to
hypnotic her baby, and she didn't miss
club meeting the whole week."-Chi-
cago Record.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
In Self Defense

Drusilla-Why, what q pretty gold
safety pin that is in your belt!
Dorothea-Yes; it is present from
Mr.. Dusnap. The ordinary pin used
to wear scratched his arm so!-N. Y
Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

"Mr. B. is so well read, he repeat
ed an exquisite quotation last night"
"What was it?'
II can't give you the exact words,
but he said he'd rather be something
in something than something else
in something else."-London Tit-Bits.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

"You really made this cake? Well, II
you should make such cake as my moth
er used to make T."
There. I thought it would comet !
wish were dead"
would never eat it at all."-N. z.
Journal.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

IT love to have you come to see sister
Mr.. Tompkins. why, Dickie?" Gauss
she never likes that candy you bring her, an
gives it to me."-Chicago Record.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

A man who will go block out of his way
to shake hands with everybody he sees il
no better friend than some who hardly take
time to speak.-W Washington Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
A Waiting Game.

1.-THE ideal man whom would desire
to marry is not born yet"
But won't you be trifle old, my
dear, by the time he has grown upt
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

why is naughty schoolboy like type
writer" "Um! ] suppose because you've
got to thump him to make him spell. Phil
adelphia North American
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Those Indians" said the passenger
pointing to couple of red men. do you
allow them to ride frst-class?" 1--WE have
to-" replied the conductor, ringing his bell
punch sharply. They bought scalpers
tickets, you know."-Buffalo Times.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Explaining Proverb.-'Papa, what does
this mean: Tt il better to give than to re-
ceive'T asked a boy of his fond parent.
1T means, my son, that your mother finds
more pleasure in lecturing me than do in
hearing her."!Tit-B Bits.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Does your husband suffer from asthma
Mrs. Widdleby?" "Well, be has it, but h,
makes the rest of us do the suffering. Chi
cago Record.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
The New Leaf.

I turned a new leaf over,
But 1t seems to me, alacki
That every passing wind which blew
Was bound to turn 1t back.
Detroit Journal
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Piso's Cure for Consumption Is an A
No. Asthma medicine.-W. r. Williams,
Antioch, Ills, April IL, 1894.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

horse trader always looks for the blem.
ishes on horse that he once got swindled
Washington Democrat.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

docs your wife enjoy her whist club?'
Cant say-but do. she comes home &c
used up she doesn't say q word. Chicago
Record.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

IT tell you what's wrong with your cow,
Farmer Oatstraw; you don't feed her on
sound principles" "Hain't got none, sir.
They don't do on our soil, and have to
make shift with turmuts!" = Farm and
Home.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

We have noticed that most funny stories
are either on an Irishman or q man just
married.-Atchison Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Young Spendthrift-'1 didn't get you any
birthday present, dad-thought you'd rath
er have the money."-Life.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

"Those people next door are still in thei
honeymoon" do you think SOL" Eyes
he goes shopping with her."-Chicago Rec
ord.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Fits stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits after first days use of DR.. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Free 81 trial bottle &
treatise. DIR. Kline, 933 Arch st., Phila., Pa.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

When bilious or costive eat Cascaret,
candy cathartic, cure guaranteed. l0c, 25c.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
Feeding for Profit.

It Is possible to make thoroughbred
pig weigh $50 pounds at nine months
old, but the scientific feeding required
for such results prohibit the ordinary
farmer from turning off such animals
to the butcher. What the breeder
wants is results, and few dollars more
or less of cost is not considered. What
the hog raiser for market wants is
profits. He wants the greatest weight
for the least amount Of food, and in the
shortest time. He wants to market his
hogs as early as possible, to get them
out of his way and the money they
bring in his pocket. He wants to use
the feed he has, or can most cheaply
buy. And the consideration with him
is: How shall use the feed on hand
SO as to get the greatest weight at the
least possible cost per pound? Greater
weight at greater cost puts no more
money in his pocket.-Farm and Ranch.
Brains Essential to Success.
Nature is firmly established in her
ways, and no amount of importuning
will change them. Man is supposed to
be endowed with fexibility that will
enable him to adapt himself and his
methods to the moods of nature. The
man who sits down and whines over q
wet spell or gives way to despair over
a drought is liable to end his days liv-
ing off his relatives or the country. It's
the man, observes the Farm News, who
tiles his wet land and who irrigates his
dry land who succeeds. God gives the
land and sends His sun and showers,
but mans two hands must do the rest
mans two hands and the brain that
is behind them. The more brain the
greater the success.-Farm News,
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Every home ought to be made so much
ike Heaven that the children will not think
OF Heaven as being far away.-Ram's Horn
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

May-"Carrie can never induce her hus
band to enter a church." Clare-'That il
what comes of being married in church. p
Truth.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

No man can become great unless the pee
pie exaggerate his best points. = Atchiso
Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Don't give tract where bread is needed
uost.-Ram's Horn.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Magistrate-"What is the charge against
this man% Officer McGobb-"P Profanity
sor. He said the polace foorce was gang
Of slobs. "-Bsltimore News.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

What men call failure may often be wha
angels call success. Rams Horn.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

1t takes hot fire to purify gold.-Ram'
Horn.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Cold stiffens q sprained muscle. st. Js
cobs Oil warns, softens and cures it.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

1t is impossible to discourage the man,
who has learned in whatsoever condition he
finds himself, Herewith to be content
Rams Horn.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Nobody gets as much and as proftabl.
free advertising as a prize fighter.-Atchi
son Globe.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Cold breeds brood of aches and pains
st. Jacobs Oil destroys them.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

Icy pavements and bruises give aches anG
pains. st. Jacobs Oil gives cure, comfort.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

A girl from big town always wears her
party dresses cut too low in the neck to
please the people in the smaller towns she
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
UnmoiliAed.

His mood was very much the Same
No matter what he saw;
He sighed for sunshine TIL It came,
And then abused the thaw.
-Washington Star
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

The man whose cause is wrong is sure
to be the loser if he gains it.-Ram's Horn.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
No-To-Dac for Fifty Cents

Over 400, Incurred. Why not let No To- BAG
regulate or remove your desire tor tobacco?
Saves money, makes health and manhood.
Cure guaranteed, SOC and 81 90, all druggists.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10

With cold neuralgia increases. With St
Jacobs Oil it decreases and is cured.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1897-04-10
AN ODD QUESTION.

Claude (earnestly)-Am the first
man you ever loved?
Maudc-Why, certainly How strange
men are; they all ask me that.-N. Y.
Herald.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
They All Held Him Up.


Joseph Brelsford of Bridesburg relates a
series of amusing incidents he experienced
one night recently with policemen and
private watchmen while on his way home
carrying bag of bricklayer's tools. Joe, -
as he is fsmiliarly known. had been doing
some brick work around the boilers in a
large establishment on Market street, and
started to go home about o'clock in the
morning. carrying his bag Of tools. His
first encounter was with a private watch
man, who stepped out from the shadow OF
a doorway near 9th street, and demanded
to know what he had in his bag Joe threw
the bag down with thud and answered:
Il don't know. We'll, you should know,
shouldn't your" asked the Waterman.
Yes; I guess I ought to, but II you want
to know look in 1t and find out for your
SELF" ''Tools?" said the Waterman. yep
answered Joe. Guess you can go on,
said the Waterman. The next was a po-
Hceman at 7th street, and the next a prf-
waite Waterman at 9th street, where the
same questions and answers were forth
coming. At Sd street he met a more reso-
lutte policeman, who insisted upon knowing
all about it, but just then Bridesburg
night car came along. and the conductor
sang out: Going up, Joe?" YES" replied
Joe; but just wait a minute till this cop
goes through my kit" 60 on" said the
policeman, as he turned away: guess
your. all right
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
A woman's Will.

From the English Illustrated Magazine.
A specimen of ladys will gives some
idea of the costumes and fashions of the
day, and the store placed upon their ward
robes, which were rot SO easily replenished
as they are now.
I'm the name of God. amen-the 9th daye
of the moneth of Octobre in the yere OF
our Lord God thousand fyve hundred and
sixie, l, Alice Love, the wife of Gyles Love
of Rye, by the special license of my said
husband asked and opteyned (What does
the modern woman think of this p beuueitn
my parapharnalie-that is to seye, myn ap-
pareill to my body belonging First, 1 be-
queith my sowle unto Almighty God, to our
blessed Lady and to allie Saynts, my body to
be buried in the chirch yarde Of Rye nigh
my husbands, Thomas Oxenbridge. ut will
be seen that Gyles Love was this lady's Sec
ond husband) Item, to my moder my grave
furrerd gowne with long trayne; also a
gowne cloth of russell, not made. Item to
my suster Mercy my best violet gowne
furred with shanks. Item, to Marguerite
Philip my test wolstede kyrtill Also 1 gyve
to my suster Mercy my dymysent with
peerless and corse of gold. Item, to Thos
Oxenbridge my best gilt gyrdell that my
husband Thomas Oxenbridge bought me to
my wedding. Item, to Robert Oxenbridge
a rede powdred corse, with a good harness
and to everiche of them pare of bedys
of rede corall Item, to Bessa Love my
best orymsyn gowne, also her moders best
girdell and her best bedys. Also to my
suster Elizabeth Duke a long girdell gilt
with golden corse."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
The Waiter Was Too Quick of
Thought.

From the Northwestern Christian Advocate.
A certain literary German, whose manner
of speaking was extremely deliberate, and
who disapproved of impetuosty of any
sort and under any circumstances, had an
amusing experience in a restaurant one
day.
He was well-known figure among the
patrons of this particular establishment, as
he seldom dined anywhere else, and he
was generally served by waiter who had
become used to his way of speaking; but
one day a new waiter took his order and
brought his soup
II cannot eat this SOUP" said the gentle
man, slowly, not looking up from his plate
The man seized the soup plate before the
customer could finish the sentence, and
vanished with it.
He reappeared in a moment with another
supply of the same soup, which he placed
before the gentleman, and then stood re-
garding him with an anxious face, wonder
Ing what could be the reason for the coup
remaining untouched.
II cannot eat this SOUP" again slowly re-
marked the literary man.
"Why not, sir? What Is the matter?'
stammered the unhappy waiter, who had
been told he was serving an important per-
son.
Il cannot eat this SOUP" said the literary
genius, calmly, for the third time, because
1 have not as yet been provided with a
spoon?'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
From the National Recorder.

From Inc National Recorder.
Liquid fuel is coming into general use
among engineers, and there can be little
doubt that II road carriages are to be pro-
PEELED by steam, the only fuel admissible
Will be some form of petroleum. At a late
meeting of the Northeast Coast Institution
In South Shields, Mr.. r. r. Wallis read a
paper giving the results Of many expert
ments to ascertain the calorific and eyap-
orative value of Various oils as fuel for
steam raising. In comparing coal and oil
he shows that the value of each varies
greatly with the quality and circumstances
under which burned, oil doing from one and
half to two and a half times the work of
an equal weight of COAL This is accounted
for, first by the complete combustion of oil
without loss of heat in SCOT or smoke; sec
end, because there are no fires to clean
with the accompanying loss of heat and
fall OF steam pressure, the pressure and
revolution of the engines being maintained;
third, because the boiler tubes are always
clean and in the best condition for the heat
from gases passing through them to the
boiler and fourth, because the temperature
of the escaping gases may be lower than is
necessary to create the draught necessary
for coal firing. There are no bars nor thick
fire for the air to force its way through;
the required amount of air can be drawn
through the furnace by a lower uptake
temperature, and the admission of air be-
ing under complete control and the fuel
with the oxygen of the air, only very
small excess of air is required. 1t occupies,
moreover, only half the space needed for
coal.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
The Old Man Was Wrong.
IN the Cleveland Leader.

From the Cleveland Leader.
'Now. then" exclaimed the irate father,
as he squared off and began rolling up his
sleeves. Il want you to explain why you
stole my daughter away!''
Il didn't steal her." the young man re-
piled. "She went willingly, and there isn't
a court on earth that will not agree with
me-
''You ner the trembling old gentleman
cried: you know you lie! You got her
onto that tandem bicycle of yours and car
ried her away. Speak! Is it not so?'
1T is true" the other replied, that we
went away on tandem, but that fact on
ly proves that I could not possibly have
taken her against her will. Have you ever
been on tandem?"
MOI! screamed the stricken father;
''never!'
''Then that accounts for your ignorance
in the present case Didn't you know that
a woman generally sits in front and picks
out the course to be pursued?"
With heart-breaking groan the white
haired old man sank down. crying:
Alas! IT'S true. I hadn't thought of
that Whatll you have?"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
The True Woman.

From the Philadelphia Times
me woman who hollis a mans heart in her hands
Need not be pretty nor possessed of rich lands
She heedn wear clothes just teening with style:
She heedn [ poSsass the first worldly wiin.
Her eyes may be brown, her eyes may be blue
10 mn she beauty away through and through
If she's true.
It's her soul that-he cares for her stcadfast de-
yotion, "
Her love us unbonnded, free as the ocean:
Ihe touch of her hands, the glarce of her eve
Inc swift rush of color that comes when he's niah
The Thousand and one little things she can do
That show him So plainly right through and through
That she's true.
what does It matter if others are fafrer?
me possesses virtue that makes her far rarrr
ihan professional beauties. cod-hearted and win
She would give him her all ard care not to gain
Ausht but SMILE low Il love YOU
when thrills her whole being away through
For she's true.
Days may be dark, days may be fair
In sickness. in health. in joy, in despair,
She proves In each crisis that her love is real:
IT shines on seraIely, cone or veal
The world counts for nothing what can 1t do
Ii she Belongs to him utterly all through and
through
And is true?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07

portions of our country. 1t is strictly a
mining country, and no one should go there
unless physically fitted to cope with the
obstacles and hardships of the country
and determined to become a miner, ana
provided with sufficient means after reach
ing the country to live one year, by which
time they will have become acclimated and
acquainted with the country AMI work. and
after that their success depends entirely
upon their own exertions.
The Prerequisites.
IF you are physically fitted for the hard
ships of an Alaska mining camp have the
energy and staying qualities so necessary
to a successful prospector and miner, sur-
f1cient means to cover the expense of reach
ing the country and supporting yourself
until you can get some returns from your
labor. then the interior of Alaska offers a
good opportunity: all others We would ad-
wise to give Alaska a wide berth.
The influx of miners and prospectors
the coming season will in a mild way re-
semble the 'stampedes' of the past of other
newly-opened gold fields; yet this country
is so vast. covered with a network of viz
gin streams, all of the known mineral
wealth that the opportunities are almost
unlimited, and no hardy, energetic man.
physically fitted and financially fixed. who
has the courage and determination to face
the particular hardships and privations of
prospecting and mining Alaska's interior.
need hesitate for fear that the field will all
be taken.
There is positively no opening in the in
terror for professional men, such as law
yers. doctors, etc, nor for clerks book
keepers. statesmen, etc, and very little, IL
any, for mechanics. carpenters, etc Every
practical miner is fairly handy with tools.
and with the help of his friends can do ali
the necessary work in building his log
cabin"
One Of the Ills.
Nothing has as yet been published in re-
gard to the terrible disease known as
white swelling" which is one of the ills
Of existence for placer" miners. 1t is a
peculiar disease, arising from long exposure
to water In washing the gold i'm the
streams. The limbs swell until they be-
come almost as large as the body of an or
binary man, and there are few cases which
do not end fatally. This is asserted by the
miners who have seen its ravages i'm the
days Of 40 and at divers times and places.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07
UGLY SISTERS.
An Old Soldier Tells His Experience
With n HOmely Duo.

An VIZ SOlOler IeilS His experience
With n HOmely Duo.
From the Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
And that reminds me-" said another vet
eran, 'of q little incident that happened
when we were in eastern Kentucky after
Humphrey Marshall. Or maybe he was
after u.s. I'm rot certain. Anyhow, we
had passed. through a country where the
women were proverbially ugly. We had
passed hundreds during the day, and gen.
orally they called us Yanks, or any old
name to make us mad. But we never mind
ed 'em. 1t pleased 'em and didn't hurt us.
But some of the boys got ratified after
while ard concluded to fire a volley back
when the chance came, as It soon did. Al
farm house of considerable pretension,
as lar as style and size was concerned, was
a girl leaning her chin on her hands, her
hands on an old swinging gate.
Go 1t. Yanks, or OF Humphrey'n kitch
youns, she shouted She was the ugliest
woman you ever saw. Touseled hair. and
dirty red at that, Bingham Mother Hubbard
snub Eosed and bare footed. On, she Was
a picture. Johnny Dill of our company
stepped out of the ranks and surveyed her.
Say he said. if you'll find me an uglier
woman than you are I'll give you this five
dollar bill
Just then her sister put her head out
OF a window and made some remark"
For Lords sake said Johnny, there
she is. You get the money
And he went and left the five on the
gate post"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-08-07

tucking of skirts, the youths with brave
directions and heavy, solemn warnings as
to the changing of seats-and push off into
the dark, quietly -garrulous stream. Their
voices, singing and talking, and the SUBJ
dued clatter of the oar-locks, strike back
family after a moment, as the merest
echoes of the night ~waters-and fall upon
ears not attuned to such sounds; The ears
of small groups of men standing apart to-
gether upon the same floats. smoking and
making little irregular flecks of fire in the
blackness with their cigars: most of them
entirely silent. few of them talking in
very low tones. like men going over the
chances of a night expedition with death
for many at the end. From the general
breeding silence it might be imagined that
these men thus stood with hearing intent
upon the faint echoes of the voices of the
laughing and singing girls out on the