Martinsburg herald. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1881-1920, 1897-04-10


How many times were you fooled on
the FIRST Of April9
1t was an excellent day for those
who moved.
Tramp printers are bad fellows TO
tackle, we've had some experience
with them.
Mr.. John Weddle, jr., has been on
the sick list for several days.
Some OF our city people have ex-
perienced considerable trouble in Sc
curing house to live in. 1t is true
saying IAN empty house is better
than worthless tenant
Those wise fellows who bought their
stock from Cheap John nurseries are
now mourning over the introduction
in their orchards OF San Jose scale, bud
moth, bark louise, etc. Sometimes
nothing but sad experience teaches
people that cheap stock of all kind is
generally worthless. Whenever you
are offered something for nothing, or
equivalent to nothing, you can rest
assured it is fraud. Cheap diseased
trees are exceedingly dear, if the cost
is nothing more than planting them
time and labor is money
One among the miserable sights to
behold recently, was that of an intoxi-
Gated woman on one of the principal
streets north of the B. & o. railroad,
staggering and falling about using
vile, indecent, abusive and profane
language. Even the numerous ours
that infest the city refused to notice
her. 1t is indeed sorrowful sight
when one of God S noblest works gets
so degraded as to be beneath the notice
of anything pertaining to respectable
ity.
If some persons would receive the
praises during life that their friends
freely lavish upon them after death,
through the columns of the press,
there would be opportunities afforded
both religiously and politically, o.
making better selections Of men fol
offices of profit and trust; but how un.
fortunate it is the value of some per
sons are only known afterdeath. Byron
says of those epitaphs. that it shows
not what the person was, but whal
they should have been. We believe
it is better to speak lightly of the
dead.
A London periodical has the follow
ing amusing advertisements. 1t EN-.
bodies illustrations ofthe curious effec
which the misplacing of comma, o.
, OF word or two, often has upon tn,
meaning of a sentence: "A lady wants
to sell her piano, as she going abroad
in strong iron Frame Wanted
room for two gentlemen about thirty
feet long and twenty feet broad
Lost, collie dog by man on Sat
urday answering to Jim with bras
collar around his neck and a muzzle.
, For sale, pianoforte, the propert,
: of musician with carved legs" "a
boy wanted who can open oysters will
; a reference" Wanted, an organis
and boy to blow the same Lost
: near highgate archway, an umbrell;
belonging to gentleman with ben
rib and bone handle. ITO be dis
!, posed Of mail phaeton the property
, ola gentleman with movable head
t piece as good as new" The above i.
equal in wording, and much better il
spelling than notice we once read
which had been prepared by the owne
of grist mill who had built a mic,
coy room and placed stove therein
for the comfort and convenience of hi:
patrons. On our first introduction in
to this room a half sheet of fools
cap pasted to the wall with {
scrawling hand writing upon it at
tracted our attention. 1t was about as
follows:
"Tak notis, I hav bilt Mise rune
an put a comfortably Stowe in il
WHARF mi customers can sett an watt
fer there grist to be ground, hopir
thay will njoy it, l rename you
Trend"
Education and the facilities for il
have made rapid strides since the
above occurred aud at present when We
find young persons without the
knowledge they should be in posses
sion Of we cannot sympathize with
them, as we once did. The army o
good teachers, the free schools anc
books, the elegant buildings with tn,
comfortable SURROUNDINGS all are point