Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-03-06
Humuruus department.
TRonRLES OF A BACKWARD LOVER.

and exclaimed excitedly:
"Oh, Matilda, Joe is going to ask pa,
for me, today"
"Humph !'' said I, for 1 never lose a
chance to snub her, for she is always
sneering at me for being an old maid.
Now 1 am all practicability and rush
and hurry, and moving from morning
till night my hands are big and red
and rough; am stiff and long and
angular all the graces of my girlhood
have been scrubbed, washed and iron
ed out of me.
But Ems different. She is one of
the lolling, languishing kind. She can
si,nper- and giggle, aud "Oh, don't
John-ah," >" in "Oh do John-ah" tone
of voice, and she has mad beaux with
out number ever since she was born.
After she had been deluged with
lovers of all nationalties, she caught
q real Yankee, not ole of the sharp,
driving, money-making kind, but a
gentle, soft-headed, tender-hearted fel-
low. He never failed to put off to-
morrow what ought to be done today.
Well, as I started out to say, En-
had announced that Joe was going to
ask for her, and I had "humphed" in
nv most incredulous style; for during
the last five years Joe had had period
ical spasms of courage.
Full nineteen hundred times he had
made up his mind tx ask pa for EN-,
and then begged off. could never
understand why it was such bugbear,
for pa would have been perfectly de-
lighted to give her away, for she has
always been quite bill of expense,
to him. After a few days EN- would
prod him to the verge of distraction.
Then he would brace up again and
promise to do it, but it always ended
in his postponing it indefinitely.
So I said "humph |" as aggravating-
" as possible. That made her furious.
"You act as if you thought he
wouldn't ask pa"
At that moment Joe unluckily came
into the kitchen.
"Em, hadn't you just as soon wall
until next Sunday?"
"No, I wouldn't" she cried, an
grily.
"But, EN-, by that time I might get
a raise in my salary"
Poor fellow, he was only earning
SIS a week, and it was the dream OF
L - - rxaf Uroico ~
ayes" EN- answered bitterly, "a
raise has been your excuse for the last
four years; why don't you ask per-
mission to put it off until after the
Nashville exposition ?"
He evidently did not notice the cut
ting sarcasm of her voice, for he said,
eagerly
aWby, that's good idea; suppose
we wait until then, SO you can be at
home to help your folks entertain your
relations?"
EN- was in such a rage that she
almost cried, but instead she fairly
screamed
"Joe, do you want to marry me?"
"Of course I do," he responded
placidly, cor else I wouldn't come to
see you" .
"Well, then, you must ask pa, for l
am not going to get married without
his consent"
"But I am going to ask him."
"When ?"
"Now, see here, EN-, do be reason
able he knows what come here for,
and, of course, he is willing, or he
wouldn't let me come"
"When are you going to ask pa P"
she repeated angrily.
"Why-ah, don't know-ah!"
"Well, now, I'll tell you one thing,
Joseph, that if you don't ask him to-
day, I'll never, never marry you.
"Oh, EN-, don't be hard on me"
"You march up this minute, sir, and
ask pa for me, or I'll never marry you !'
and she rushed out of the room, flung
open the piano and began to play so
violently, that I thought every cord in
the instrument would snap.
Joe looked at me appealingly.
"What do you think 1 had better
do?"
$50 upstairs and see pa" I replied.
"Do you suppose she'll feel better in
a few minutes? ?" he inquired anxiously.
"No, she is in dead earnest, and if
you want her"
"Ill have to ask for her, I suppose" "
he answered, with a disconsolate sigh.
couldn't help feeling sorry for him,
for he looked as detected as if he were
going to the stake.
"It won't be very hard" I ventured
to say.
"Oh, it's terrible thing to do"
His lips grew white, the perspiration
stood out on his forehead, and he was
shaking from head to foot with ner'
vous chill.
So he went upstairs, and was gone
about five minutes, and they both came
tearing out into the kitchen, where
they danced, and embraced, and kissed
each other like two mad creatures.
She was so proud of him, and he was so
glad he had the thing off his hands,
that they nearly strangled each other.
Then he had to tell her about 40
times how he felt when he went up
stairs, and what pa said, how ma look