The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1897-04-29
Bob TaylOr's Way of Running the Pie Counter,

y y
nuisances that have defed the opera
tions of the Geary act. The ying var
fan is the worm of desire. When {
Chinaman feels it coming he hits the
pipe. When it attacks q TennesseaI
he runs for office. Perhaps the seeking
of an office does not differ in any mate
rial respect in Tennessee from what il
is in any other state, except that it il
more common. Even Ohio hasn't &c
many men able to plough yet willing tC
fill Office.
Tennesseans have an aching desire
to be appointed to Office. There is q
balm in the delightful thought Of being
called by the chief executive to lay
aside personal preferences to take up
the noble service of the people. A
strange allurementresides in the meagre
patronage of the governor. Immediate
ly a new man is elected to this office
the fight begins.
After solving the troublesome prob
lem of securing railroad transportation
and weeks bill at the Maxwell, your
Tennessean sets out on his pilgrimage.
On the way he studies up thousand
things to say to the governor. He plans
to a nicely his rear and flank attacks
and just how he will toy with the vani-
ty or ambition of the chief executive,
all of which he promptly forgets as
soon as he gets in sight of the object OF
his trip. After having followed the
negro guardian of his grip to the room
that costs him in a week months
earnings, he goes forth for drink and
to see the governor. In Tennessee
every voter knows the governor by his
first name, Most Office seekers seem
to have children named for him, and
have sat in the same poker game with
him many time. Hence there is nc
trouble in securing an audience. No
matter where the governor is found, he
is held up,
"Bob, says the applicant, II come
down hyar ter see eff you kaint see yer
way clyar ter pint me commissioner Of
agriculture. I lowed you'd be pow'ful
glad ter do it, ef it so be that you hain't
already pledged yourself. I've got
ever dad blamed man inIEast Tennes-
see on my petition, an I brought you
these hyar letters along from your
friends"
The greasy pocket is produced, and
deposited in Bob's inside pocket where
it remains until his man accidentally
discovers it in brushing his clothes,
After hearing the declaration the gov
ernor takes the applicants arm, show
several sections 1of the whites of hi
eyes, and calculates
John, I'm mighty glad to see you
Yes, 1 am. How did you leave all th'
folks? Last time I was by your plac'
we had a great time. Never was il
such nice crowd of people before il
my life. Come up to the capitol an'
see me. 1 haven't had time to thin
about that appointment yet, but I'll lie
, you know before I do q thing. I'm b.
r these derned offices like the little felloN
, was up in my county in East Tennes
t see. The little fellow stood in the doc
. of his mothers cabin as naked as b
y came into the world. The old iudg
Y paused as he rode by to court and said
"'My son, where's your shirt 2
? THE little fellow grinnen and shout
t ed back MAS er washing it..
? "'But where's your other one?
n "The little fellow looked up in ute
: amazement and said:
: "'Great God, mister, do you expeC
8 fellow to have thousand shirtsP'"
= A series of "Ha, ha,, has" follow
4 this stock annecdote. It sounds lik
0 the ripping Of a circus tent in a cyclone
v The applicant is tickled to death, an
j. morally certain of his Job. In the e1
{ plosion the Governor makes his escape
J. Then the applicant takes drink wit
!. himself, and in his solitude thinks oy'
T. his interview. He proceeds to ''set 'el
i up" Four days of self-congratulatio
T. and looking upon the wine when it
n red turns the cash balance into mint
l. qantity. He gives the hotel a chec
l. for his board, grabs his grip, an
J, starts on q race to beat that cheC
G home.
d Weeks pass and he gets nothing fro
Nashville. Finally he picks up new
t. paper and sees that the coveted ic
:. has gone to another. A string Of pr
: family flows like money into boo
: town, and the applicant tells all Of b
}, friends about the ingratitude of men
high places. Then he settles down
wait until the next chance for appoin