The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1897-01-19
BoWSER's WATERLOO
AouTEp IN HIS ATTACK ON THE
SPELLING OF WOMAN,

the other evening a. he laid aside hi
paper, will you take this pencil and
little writing for me2''
"Of course, DEAR" she replied
what do you want me to writer"
II wish You to write down about
dozen words as give them to you. Th
first word is 'illegality,'
eyes,"
"Then 'advisability' and 'consan
guinity.'"
"What use are you going to make O
them?'
"I'm just trying a little experiment
Now you may put down 'iesideratun
and 'multitudinoua
what is the experiment. asked
Mrs. Bowser.
"Why, was just reading in the pa
per that not one woman out of so, nj
matter how we'll educated, was thor.
oughly up on photography. An edito,
says that out Of 2b0 communication
sent in by females an average Of One
word out of every ten was misspelled. u
but men spell every word correctly,
/ suppose?'' sarcastically queried Mrs.
Bowser.
"They do. 1t seems to come perfectly
natural to them. 1t isn't woman 4
fault perhaps. 1t may be that nature
meant it that way. Now you can put
down the word 'destruotibility.'"
Pm not putting down any more
words" she said as she laid down the
pencil.
"Obl Got mad, eh2 That's the way
with woman. If some one said she
couldn't play on Jew s harp as we'll as
q man. she'd get her nose up about it. -
Il can spell as well as you can, Mr..
Bowser, and even better. Whoever
wrote about that little experiment told
a falsehood.
There you gol That's egotism and
mulishness combined. Didn't explain
that nature never intended woman to
spell half her words right II she
didn't, then what's the use of getting
mad about it2 Of the four words you
wrote down you spelled half of one of
them correctly, and you ought to be
proud of It, F."
II spelled every one of them correct
ly," che insisted.
Mrs Bowser, don 'tset your jaw that
way when you are addressing mel am
speaking to you more in sorrow than in
anger. If you can't spell, why. them
when did you become such a great
speller2'
"Orthography came natural to me,
Mrs. Bowser-perfectly natural was
spelling words a rod long before l was
seven years old"
"Oh, indeedl It's funny how many
mistakes you made decentralization
we were engaged, for instance.
Mistakes in spelling? Be careful,
Mrs. Bowserl Don't let your anger lead
you to prevaricate. think wrote you
two or three little notes while we were
engaged, and I'll bet million dollars
to q cent that every word was correctly
spelled. "
You wrote me about 400 love let
tiers, and I've got every one up stairs,
and you made scores Of mistakes. -
Woman" said Mr.. Rowser as he
rose up and glowered at her, II pity
you! When person is driven to pre-
varication and perjury in order to carry
point, it is a sad, solemn thing If /
had"--
She ran up stairs, and in the course
of three Or four minutes returned with
a great package of letters in her hand
and said
Here are about SO of the bushel of
letters you wrote me- We will now see
about the spelling. You acknowledge
your handwriting, don't you:'
II acknowledge nothing, Mrs. Bow
ser-absolutely nothing! They may be
letters Of mine. Or they may BE- base
forgcries. "
They are your letters, of course.
Here is one i'll which you speak of an
azure sunset and III affinity Of souls.
You spell it ASSURE and atlncty.
'Nevcr--neyer on tho face of this
earthI"
But see---there are the words. Here
is another i'll which you lay your heart
at my feet, and you have spelled it
hart
II deny it' shouted Mr. Bowsor as
his face got red and his hair began to
curl ''In the first place. wasn't don
key enough to write any such balder-
dash, and in the next any fool knows
enough to spell heart. Lay my heart at
your feet-humphv'
well, the words are here Just as
you wrote 'em, and have marked each
che. In this third letter you say that
life would be one never ending mid
night without me, and you have spelled
it Mite. ;"
What! What! Iwrote such stuff as
that5 Mrs. Bowser, beware how you
presume on my good nature and your
position as my wfel l pronounce each
and every letter in that package base
forgery A never ending midnight with
out yOu-boshr'
And this fourth letter." she contin-
ued without needing him, lis a lG page
letter you wrote me one rainy Sunday.
You speak Of the sobbing raindrops,
and you spell sobbing with one b. You
speak Of my charming face and spell it
with two ms You refer to the future
and spell the word 'f-u-c-h-e-r You
speak
Mrs. Bowser, do you know who
amp he demanded as he pointed his
finger at her.
Certainly. You were wretched, you
said and you"-
You talk that way to me, do you'll
Because you can't spell one word in
thousand correctly you-you'-
II show that you are just as bad, Mr.
Bowser You see"-
Yes, seel understand / know
r&a ~ '''-.. .. -.. 10y, the prcyaii.
cation ana tuo psr.-,.i come in. ] was
prepared to pas 4 pleasant evening at
my own Preside In order to heightcn
the pleasantly offered to help you i'm
prove your Orthogruphy, but YOU
you''--
- show you whore yours can be i'm
proved, she finished.
"Noly well, madam-vcry we'll. I
have business in the library which may
keep me up all night. You can retro
Whenever You wish The train which
yGu Will take to 70 to your mothers