Evening star., 1897-04-10
LEARNING THE ROPES
Problems That Confront the New
Member of the House.
ON BOARD THE SHIP OF STATE
Once in a While Some Curious
Breaks Are Made.
RAW HANDS IN THE CREW

Written fol- The Evening Star.
The new congressman Is just learn
ing his status in the House. He is
not yet entirely aware Of his status
outside. He still pays five cents fare
on the cable cars. He has not yet
found out that he can get six tickets for a
quarter. He has finally ascertained that
it costs money to live at a hotel, and he
has sought the comforts of family board
ing house. He has found his way to the
only variety show in the city, but has not
yet been seen at the Smithsonian Institu-
ton. If supporter Of the administration
he has learned the pathway to the White
House, but he has not yet mastered the
labyrinthian intricacies of the State, War
and Navy and Treasury buildings. If from
rural district he is astonished to learn
that his predecessor has drawn his quota
of seeds, and that there are none to be OBJ
tanned at the Department of Agriculture.
The new member from the SQueejee dis
trict called on the Secretary Of Agriculture
the other day. He wanted his quota of
mushroom seed. When informed that the
mushroom was propagated from spawn and
not from seed, he asked If the Secretary
took him for an idiot. An older member as
sured him that the Secretary was right
and sent him to the fish commissioner fer
the spawn.
The new member finds much difficulty In
keeping out of the way of wheelmen, and
more in avoiding the negro mack drivers at
the rounded corners Of the streets. The
Washington monument still fills him with
awe, and the exquisite beauty of :he new
Library building charms him beyond de-
Scription.
In the Maze.
The fedgling member appeared at the
Capitol early In February. The more he
saw of legisla ton the less he learned about
it. The ways seemed devious, and ne was
unable to understand why some members
assumed the right to talk whenever they
pleased, while others were unable to Sc
cure the floor at any time. The scenes that
followed the reading of the journal awak-
ened his interest. When fifty members
thronged the arena in front of the Speak
er9s desk, waving printed bills and resolu-
tions, and shouting Mr.. Speaker" the din
to him was deafening. On no theory could
he explain recognitions, and 1t was not
until some stentorian voice demanded 1.-The
regular order" that the puzzle was solved.
Dazed by the hot disputes over appro-
priation bills, he found the cloak room a
quiet retreat There the story tellers
abounded. Seated by the cozy CRATE he
drew inspiration from the north and the
south, the east and the west. Introductions
were numerous, and he formed acquaint-
ances that may prove of value in the pres
ent Congress. Statesmen Of national repu-
tation made him feel perfectly at home and
more than satisfied with himself, and made
remarks that convinced him that they were
far more human than divine.
Now that the extra session of his own
Congress has begun, he still finds that
everything is new to him-even the Capitol
Itself. He takes the elevator in preference
to the stairway, for the latter may mis-
lead him. The document and sta :ionery
rooms elude him when in search Of bills
and pads. and he frequently misses his way
when looking for the restaurant and its
concomitants, or seeking an exit from the
building. 1t is only by following the beaten
track that he can reach the main entrance
of the House. Months will elapse before
every byway and passage in the immense
structure becomes familiar. Even then he
may at times require the assistance of a
guide But it will take him n longer time
TO master the rules of the House. Patient
ly has he listened to debate on the Dingley
bill, and ardently has he conned the
speeches in an effort to CLEAN new IDEAS
He has failed because there are no new
ideas to CLEAN. The legislative husband
men have been threshing straw that has