The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-06-19
uUMOR OF THE DAY..

He-"Her face is her fortune. She
.-'sThen she is a self made woman. =
Yale Record.
Edith-ssDid he whisper sweet moth
ings when he proposea?" Ethel-''Oh,
yes !-swore he'd be ever true, and all
that. Puck.
Young Solicitor yourself
easy, my dear sir the successful man
agement of yonr case shall be the task
of my life. "-Tit-Bits.
/ "What is pronunciation, Uncle
Jim?" sit is something you hunt up
in a dictionary one day and forget the
next. Chicago Record.
Ada-"Which was the most serious
engagement Captain Slasher was ever
inP" Jack-"The one that led to his
marriage, presume. "-LarLs.
snow, they speak of her as an up.
to.date girl. What do you understand
by thata" "My boy, a girl that is up
to-date is up to anything. Puck.
Mrs. Gray-"Do you ike steam
heat? ?" Mrs. Dramatically, don't
know. You see, We only have steam
cold in our fat. Boston Transcript.
"spring is here" the poet said,
And slammed him down ten flights OF stairs,
| The force of his remark he felt!
Cincinnati Tribune.
| A sportive youth will feel compli-
mented if Won call him ''a gay young
dog" but not if You refer to him as
"afresh young puppy. "-Phiiadelphia
Record. /.
Dorathea-"T goes Jack with
his wealthy bride, girls" Theodosia
Eyes; aren't men tickle? 10 think
that only last summer he was engaged
to us!" -Truth.
First Artist OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Dixie is good fellow, but he never
will be finished painter. Second
/ Artist all of his figures are en-.
tirely too life-like, Judge.
There are over sixty millions OF peo-
pie in this country, and at least fifty
millions of them have been cured o.
something at one time or another
West Union Qowa) Gazette.
Cumso-"Why don't Mr.. Gilgal AM
Miss Perkasie get married9" Cawke
-"Shyness on both sides. Chow d
Won make that out?" ''She is a sh.
, little thing by nature and he is shy Q
cash."
EDO you see anything coming GU
, wev ?n asked the morning star OF
: companion. "Not yet" was the re
. ply; sbutI see servant below Their
who is about to light her kitchen fir
e with kerosene"
ssThat Willie Feathers is the MOI
D impudent man ever met. Really?
"He is. I told him had never bee
kissed by man in all my life, and b
said Il can we'll believe you. '"-Cil
cinnati Enquirer.
s Tommy-s'Paw, what is adding il
? suit to injury?" MIR. Figg-"Well,
once had a dentist at work on my teet
g for half a day, and when he g
g through he said he hoped l had
!. pleasant time. indianapolis Jou
nal.
e She-"You are always talking abo
|. the fashions. Now, honestly, do "
i think you would know the latest fas
ion in hats if you were to enter mi
. liner's?" He-''Certainly." She
. .Howp" He (ruefully)-"By lookil
= at the prices. Comic Cuts.
The theosophist gazed at the Q
:. posite wall with far away smile. "V
= become what we eat, she murmure
= "That is great truth" "Great J
= hosophatl" exclaimed voice in t
= corner "what kind of menagerie
= become when eat hash?"-Was
). ington Capital.
Chumpley-'That hypnotist is
= fraud. He couldn't control my mi
: ct all last night" Pokley-"
:. course, he had some excuse" Chum
p ley-"Yes, he said there was no n
= terial to work on. You ought to ha
y heard the audience give him
laugh. Detroit Free Press.