The Greenville times. [volume] (Greenville, Miss.) 1868-1917, 1897-05-05
HUMOR OF THE DAY.

He-"Her face is her fortune" 81,
.-"Then she is q self made woman
Yale Record.
Edith-"Did he whisper sweet moth,
ings when he proposed?" Ethel-a0b
yes l-swore he'd be ever true, and al
that. - Puck.
Young Solicitor-"Make yourself
easy, my dear sir; the successful man.
agement of your case shall be the task
OF my life. "-Tit-Bits.
"What is pronunciation, UpcI,
Jim?" ut is something you hunt 10
in dictionary one day and forget tie
next. Chicago Record.
Ada-"Which was the most soriOu,
engagement Captain Slasher was ever
in?" Jack-"lhe oae that led to ri,
marriage, l presume. "-Larks.
"Now, they speak of her as an up,
to.date girl. What do you understand
by that?" "My boy, a girl that is up.
to-date is up to anything, "-Puck.
Mrs. Gray-"Do you like steam
heath" Mrs. Dramatically, | don't
know. You see, we only have steam
cold in our fiat. Boston Transcript
"spring is here" tho poet said,
And rs the storm door hitched its belt
AMI slammed him down ten flights Of stais,
Tho force Of his remark he felt
Cincinnati Tribune.
A sportive youth will feel compH.
mented if you call him ga gay young
dog" but not if you refer to him a.
ga fresh young puppy. "-Philadelphh
Record.
"There goes Jack With
his wealthy bride, girls" IheodosiA
-"Yes; nren't men tickle? To think
that only last summer he was engaged
to usl"-Truth.
First Artist OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Dixie is a good fellow, but he never
will DO q finished painter" Second
Artist -"No; all of his figures are en-.
tirely too llfe-like, Judge.
There are over sixty millions OF peo-
pie in this county, and at least fit! |
millions of them have been cured Of
something at ono time or another
West Union (Iowa) Gazette.
Cumso-"Why don't Mr.. Gilgalall
Miss Perkasie get married." Cavka
"Shyness on both Sides" Glow 10 I
you make that out 2" ",5he is a Shy
little thing by nature and he is shy
cash"
"Do you see anything coming our
W" asked the morning star Ola
companion. "Not yet" was the re
ply; "but l see servant below thsn
who is about to light her kitchen fla
with kerosene.
"Ihat Willie Feathers is the mos
impudent man I ever met. Greatly:
che is. l told him 1 had never been
kissed by a man in all my life, and b
said Il can well believe you. "-Ul
cinnati Enquirer.
Tommy aw, what is adding IN
suit to injury? ?" MIR. Figg-"Wel,
once mad a dentist at work on my teeth
for half day, and when he ga
through he said he hoped | had :
pleasant time. "-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
She.-"You are always talking abonl
the fashions. Now, honestly, do you
think you would know the latest fash
ion in hats if you were to enter nil
liner's?" He-"Certainly." She
''How?" He (ruefully)-"By looking
at the prices. Comic Cuts
The theosophist gazed at tho op
posite wall with far away smile I'VE
become what we eat" she murmured
THAT is a great truth" "Great Je
!" exclaimed voice in the
corner "what kind of menagerle do
| become when eat hash?"-Wasa'
ington Capital.
Chumpley-"That hypnotist is
fraud. He couldn't control my mlli
Mt all last night" Pokley-"u
course, he had some excuse" Chump
Iey-''Yes, he said there was no ms
terial to work on. You ought to hae
heard the audience give him tN'
laugh. Detroit Free Press.