Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-10-07

The professor OF mechanics at an
English college once gave a lecture up
on the locomotive, and was particularly
struck by the absorption Of one juvenile
listener He spoke to the student after
the lecture, aud asked him: well,
suppose you understand all about the
locomotive now:" YES" was the TO-
ply, "all but one thing" "And what IS
that" said the professor. kindly. Il
can't make out what makes the locomo-
tive move without horses"
The story is told that an appointment
to a consulship was secured by mar
by his use of quotation from ''l'ril-
by" While in company with certain.
nigh political personages, he had occa-
sion to inquire the price Of some tritlng
object, and in an off-hand way used the
Lalrd's version, and after saying Com
bang? added "Je prong The political
personages were highly impressed by
his knowledge of languages. 4 few
weeks later he received the gift of Il
consulate in French town.
A countryman straycd into Il Cleyt-
land art store, the other day, and seenl-
ed most struck with a picture represent
ing lion stalking in solitary majesty
through the ruins of an ancient temple.
He inquired the name of it. "A Lion,
after Gerome," answered the proprie-
tor; "yOu seem to be pleased with that
picture?" 'Yes," the old gentleman re-
piled, Il do sort of like 1t. That's a
powerful ugly lookin' beast thar, and l
swan don't know as I blame Gerome
very much for gittin' out of the way"
A lad in a remote country village
swallowed a small leaden bullet. His
parents and friends became very much
alarmed about the matter, and his faith
err sent for a physician some miles
away ''in haste" urging his speedy
coming. The physician, however, took
the matter more philosophically. and
wrote the following note: do not be
alarmed. If, after three weeks, tb: bull
let is not removed, give the boy a
charge of gunpowder. Yours truly,
-, NJ. d. p. S.-Do not shoot the
boy at anybody"
The queen, when Princess Victoria.
was one day reading Roman history
with the Duchess of Northumberland.
1t happened to be the passage where a
Roman lady, having visited Cornella,
1.-THE mother Of the Gracchi," displayed
her casket Of precious stones, and called
upon the Roman matron to produce her
jewels in return, when Cornelia brought
forward her children, exclaim!ng:
These are my jewels"' 'Jewelsv said
the little princess, looking up into the
face Of the duchess; II think they must
have been Comedians"
A fond mother recently took her A.
year-old girl to photographer to have
her picture taken, but the child coiild
not be made to sit still. Finally the
photographer said to the despairing
mother: Madam, if you will leave the
little one alone with me for a moment,
think l can succeed" The mother left
the room, and in few minutes was
summoned back by the triumphant pho
tographer, who produced a satisfactory
negative. When they reached home.
the mother asked: "Nellie, what did
the man say to you when ! left you
alone with him." ''He thaid," llsped
Nellie, 'thit thill, you little imp, or I'll
thmath you"
Professor Max Muller tells a charac-
teristic story Of Lord Macaulav in his
Literary Recollections" in Cosmopolis.
The ACCESSIBILITY Of providing for the in
struction in Sanskrit of English youths
destined for service in India was a de-
bated question, and Macaulay sent for
Professor Muller, who was an advocate
Of such instruction, in order to hear
what he had to say in it's support. The
interview lasted an hour. during which
the professor found it impossible to get
in word edgewise against the food OF
arguments against his position which
poured from the historians lips. When
the harangue was ended, he was dis
missed with thanks for the valuable in
formation he had impaired.
When the war broke out, the late
General Francis A. Walker, who had
graduated year before from Amherst,
went to the front He obtained a leave
Of absence to so home to Massachn-
sets, and arrived there without having
notified his mother that he was coming.
When he approached the house, 1t was
evening. He peered through a window,
and saw his mother sitting alone, knit
ting Then he stepped softly into the
room, and standing before her said, sud-
denly: "Mother! Mrs. Walker started
and looked up at her son, but did not
rise. Francis" she said, severely,
have you left the army p mo. mother,
only on leave. I'm going back next
week." ''Then," General Walker used
to say, ''she jumped from her chair and
"a ut