The White Pine news. [volume] (Treasure City, Nev.) 1868-1906, 1897-12-04
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Askins-What kind OF an alarm CLOCK
have youi Hennypeck-My wife's ell
bow.-Puck.
Our landlady had to lower the din
ing tables three inches why did she
do thatT' Nearly all the boarders are
scorchers. "-Indianapolis Journal.
Gentle hint: Danseuse-Baron, II /
were to receive a bracelet anonymous
~ tomorrow morning, / should be sure
that II came from you.-Fliegende
Blaetter.
The golfers scorn: First golfer-Dld
you hear about Viewer: He's learning
10 play lawn tennis. Second golfer-He
must be paying an election bet.-Brook-
Ign Life.
Are you one of the striking miners:
asked the woman at the door. Yes.
mum. I'm what dey call a pioneer. |
struck thirty years ago, and I've never
give In yet."-Detroit Free Press.
a real surprise: Ethel-So he drop
ped right down On his knees and pro
posed: Dear me-. Did you say This
Is so snddenT Penelope-Oh, no. /:
was 50 unexpected. you know.-Puck.
Mrs. Peck-If l had my life to 20
over again, I wouldn't marry the best
man alive. Mr.. II. Peck Ibis chance ar
lastl-You bet you wouldn't. l wouldn't
ask you to.-Philadelphia North Amer.
lean.
The butler-Hand heyery night al
the hour Of midnight the ghost hap
pears and groans and wrings its hands.
American tourist-Ah. Must have died
ia the cucumber season.-Cincinnatl
Enquirer.
Old lady-This must he a very
healthy place. Now, what may the
death rate be? Observation-Disclosures
full steady, mum-wonderful steady.
Just one death TO each person right
along.-Sketch.
Il must have been a fool when !
married" said little Tompkyns. glar
ing fiercely at his wife. Certainly, my
dear" said Mrs. Tompkyns, sweetly;
''it couldn't come on so badly all in two
years, Eouiu II -llt-bIl--
Poor Robinson. There goes his fun
eral." What, is Robinson dead|' i
imagine he Is. Perhaps he Il just rid
ing around town In that hearse for the
fun Of the thing. howeyer."-cincln-
natl Commercial Tribune.
Miss Grabbs declares her girl
friends can't deny that her attachment
TO that gentleman with a title was a
case OF love at first sight That's
very true replied Miss Cayenne; sac
saw him first."-Washington Star.
Customer-You remember you sold
me this coat Yesterday You said yor
would return the money if it wasn't
satisfactory. Clothing merchant-But
my dear sir, 1t vos quite satisfactory; !
nefer had peter money as dot in all my
life.-Puck.
Doctor-If you must know, ma'am.
your husband wont live twenty-foui
hours longer. Goodness gracious.
calculated the broken-hearted but
economical woman, and here you've
gone and prescribed medicine enough
for five days."-Tit-Bits.
Fairly fresh: May from the hotel)-
So you're staying at a farmhouse
Everything fresh. and all that, sup
pose? Maude-Oh, yes. indeed Why
after he got through milking last night
the farmers son came around and pro
posed to me.-Brooklyn Life.
Amateur theatrical heroine tindig
nantly)-You say you don't think th'
persons In the back of the audience cal
hear us speak our lines? Professiona
coacher-No; but don't let that worry
you. They can hear the prompter' Sc
they won't lose track Of the play
Puck.
Charitable old lady Ito little beggal
giru-There's some bread for YOU. II is
a day or two old, but you can tell YOU
mother to take three or four fresh eggs
a quart of milk. a cup Of sugar, some
good butter and half a grated nutmeg
and she can make a very excellent pud
ding of it.-Tid-Bits.
As he finished drinking his soda h'
laid his hands upon the fountain III al
unobtrusive way and remarked, Il sup
pose this is charged?' Yes" said TIN
drawer, reaching under the counter TO
a pistol; $50 is this" ''The money
yours said the drinker, throwing
down a dime.-Boston Transcript.
Yesterday" said Jabson, Il refused
n poor woman a request for Il small sun
of money, and in consequence of my ac'
/ passed a sleepless night. The tones
OF her voice were ringing in my ears
the whole time Your softness Of
heart does you credit" said MADISON
'who was the womanF' MY wife,
Tid-Bits.
1t was past midnight, and NJ. lvre
mort was fumbling about in the hal
and mumbling angrily to himself
Whats the matter!" called out Nine
Iyremort from the floor above. There's
two hat-racks here" he answered, 'an
] don't know which II to hang N,
hat on" "Oh, hang one on each an'
come to bed.''-Petit Journal Pour Rire
Tho Darfhenon