Connecticut western news., 1897-03-18
BILL BARNACLE'S DISGUST.
What He Thinks of Our warships and
 Their Numerous Wrecks.

What He Thinks of Our Warships and
 Their Numerous wrecks.
 Frequent in perusing the papers, see how no able seamen won't ship in these new cruisers, though the navy wants 'em bad, ' Bill Barnacle remarked, looking over 8 tabulated list of disasters to Uncle Salns white squadron.
 Five noticed the same complaint re- garding the scarcity of men,, said the lub- Der. Seems to me sailor would take pleasure in wearing a beautiful uniform and cruising in one of those big white ships. Why don't they enlistP"
 ''It Is singular how curious wy they don't, as mariners is supposed to be proper fools, Bill replied thoughtfully.
 .'They must be pre-judiced, I take 1t, against these here battlesihps wot sinks sometimes afore the mooring chains is cast off at the dock. Blow me, if I'd sign in no floating machine shop wots liable to swamp or turn turtle if they ever gets her into deep water. Look wot's happened el- ready to the feet and some of the Eloon- ing hookers ain't never been a.sHy l:osl the dock either. And likewise look i.t Hou befell them ns did"
 Mir. Barnacle paused in absolute disgust to ruminate on the disgraceful conduct of our warships.
 "This here navy ain t wot it used to be" he went on somewhat sadly. "No proper out and out A. B. can sling his dreaming sack in one of these here findy sickle cruis- CTS and be happy. Boiler makers, machin- ists and Swede painters is wot they wants these days. Wot's the use of sailors when there ain't no ropes, no rigging and no hauling and climbing-nothing but elec- trio buttons and hydraulics and similar gear, wot gets out of order and busts reg ular? Boat davits is the only ropes. No decks to holystone and not a smudge of tar from stem to stern. Wy, blow me 1 Iown, if the camphor in the dress suits of squab midshipmen isn't the only thing ar able seaman can smell aboard them ships" Have you ever sailed in one of the modern battleships?" asked the lubber. "No," said Bill land likewise l won't, but I've knowed mariners wot has. They tells me that with continual painting and wiping it off accidental with their clothes and losing thumbs in patent gun gear and acting proper polite they might as well be janitors in Harlem. Wot's the use nf sign ing as A. B. in a ship where you walks to | the mast, presses button and rides up to the main top or masthead in a blooming | elevator? Next we'll hear of barber shops and restaurants and life insurance offices | in the fighting tops, and likewise art studios and weather bureaus When hol- | low masts with elevators takes the place of rope ladders and legs it's time for the | mariner to tie up ashore.
 "Besiics, wot's the sense of going to the l bottom in an iron coffin, or sinking along side of docks and being laughed at by all | the lubbers in creationg Sailors don t
 throw much swell on land, but they rates
 some pride at sea if the ship behaves her | self and giyes 'em a chance. But wot a
 holy show the navy does make of mariners, | to be sure! Ships always in a muggy
 mess somewhere and being logged in the
 newspapers. Look at 'cm on the other
 side! There's the coast defender Monterey, i built in San Francisco to blow warships out of the water 20 miles away. The day she was ready for sea they headed up the | bay to Mare island for more repairs and
 runs into blooming herring net. For three days this here terror of the seas hangs
 in the net, with her propellers fouled in the
 snarl of meshes, while the dago fishermen
 cussed frightful. Farmers and duck shoot
 CTS comes off In boats and gives the able
 seamen the horse laugh, while divers is be-
 low clearing away dead herring aad bust