Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1897-10-08

Up.
Mamma. II l am good will l 70 to
heaveny Mamma: Yes. dear /"
How'll get back y'--Cincinnati Com.
mercial-Tribune.
Waiter, 1t Is almost half an hour
since ordered that turtle soup,"
waiter: SORRY. sir. but you know how
slow turtles are. It'd Bits.
Greeble: rs that your baby?" Craw.
don: NO, sir; the possession IL ON tho
other side. He il not my baby; I'm hiy
rather. Boston Transcript.
why did you manufacture th,s bad
money! the magistrate said sternly.
Cos couldn't turn out NO better" re-
Piled the counterfeiter.--Tit-B Bits.
she was born with q silver spoon in
her mouth. and l suppose she's rot to
oe pretty" Isn't there a limit? What
II 1t was tablespoonf'-Detroit Jour.
nal.
Bacon: What do you suppose 10 the
meaning Of this long rainY' Erbert:
"Oh, l think possibly 1t ia out Of com.
pliment to Queen Victoria. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
MY darling. I always feel like tax.
ing on my shoes when enter your -.
cred presence" well. l would rather
you did 1t now than after we are mar.
rled."-Life.
Fuddy: II never ride tandem wheel
unless can have the rear saddle !"
buddy: That's funny" mot at all.
l don't care to have anybody talking
behind my back."-Bost0n Transcript,
Fair poatess: think, only think.
how many possibilities there are con.
tanned In this dingy case of typer'
Proofreader: Eyes, Just 40; especially
OF typographical errors" -Somervills
Journal.
Doctor" asked the seeker after
knowledge Of the clergyman, "why do
people get on their knees to pray 10.
stead Of standingY' 'They want to
save their solos," replied the clever
minister.--Harlem Life,
"Oh, mamma" the beautiful girl ex.
claimed. "he adorcs me- 30, and he 10 20
noble and handsome and" Eyes.
my child" "And he brings such lovely
references from his last wife."-Detroit
Journal.
The butler: "Hand hevery night at
the hour Of midnight the ghost hap
pears and grOans and wrings tn
hands," American tourist: "Ah! Must
have died in the cucumber season.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
''They may shy what they like
against him." said the convicted ones
defender, hut his heart ID In the right
place." 'Yes." assented the other,
land 50 il the rest Of him, for q few
years. Indianapolis News.
Mrs. Tenspot: "Isn't it odd that the
encores are always much more enjoya-
BILE than the regular plumbers Of the
programme" Mr.. Tenspot: "Yes, II
is. l wonder why they don't sing the
encores hrst."-7Judge.
'"Therc," said the man of schemes, '1s
a limit to the federation Of the public"
And you found ity' "Yup. l met q
total frost when l started out with q
lecture on How l Intend to Find the
North Pole "-Indlanapolis journal.
Reporter: "How many years have
you been In public lifey' Statesman:
"rwcnty-four." Reporter: "But your
biographer says twenty eight." States
man: HE includes four years when l
was vice presidcnt."-New York Jour.
NIL.
"Oh, say, Proudly, was very sorry
to hear that you had lost all your
money" Lost all my money" snorted
Proudly, and he produced roll that
filled his fist. Let me take twenty till
tomorrow, old man."--Detroit Free
Press.
when l grow up. MON. want you
to make II minister out Of me-" "Why.
Johnny. am glad that such IL your
desire. will speak to your father
about It," "Yes'h: want to 70 to Eu-
rope every summer. cleveland Plain
Dealer.
"What did that man do to make him.
self SO famous!' asked the altrurian.
gazing curiously on an individual who
formed the center Of a social group.
ITO the best of my knowledge" replied
the cynic, "he did the public. Wash.
ingtOn Times.
The dentist: would you like your
teeth made with patent adhesive
springs! They hold each set perfectly
true" The humorist: II don't know.
1t doesn't seem quite right to mix up
the true with the false in that man
er."-Washington Star.
He: II wonder why that young man
and young woman occupy two seats?
l should think they could easily crowd
into one and give some Of the other
a chance to sit down." She:
"Oh, ! suppose they've been married
for year or twO."-Cleveland Lender.
Wife twearily): "Ah. me, the days Of
chivalry are past" Husband: whats
the matter nowy' Wife: "Sir Walter
Raleigh laid his cloak on the ground for
Queen Elizabeth to walk over, but you
got angry simply because poor dear