davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1897-09-17
GENIUS REVENGE.
How an Elevator y Got Even With a
ScerOGrepher


The elevator boy was genus. a.
though nothing 81 the Kin" had ever
been charged up against him. W men
the fat-rhat l. To Say, stout Tor only
men and the lower animals are tat
women of that style OF architecture
being invariably >tout-when the
sto It Stenographer on the rlnth uoor
repulsed the admru@ advances ~ the
, elevator boy she did not know That 'he
was laying a mine tol ne de''rur'Io"
of her peace OF mind. II not herself
The clcv tor boy oroo'rd upon the
snubbiug he had received, and resolved
that ne should oe glouou>Iy rclenged.
But nov" IL me cheap no'e'' 'al.
The elevator boy d'd not Know al
titst but the next ;me tho stout >'enog'
rapher entered tine car % ude i' The
ninth floor the Inspiration came 70
him.
The inspiration came "a Monday
morning.
At noon OF ,he same day the elevator
boy shooting downward from the PIN
nacle Of the building, found the stout
stenographel waiting AT the ninth iIoor
to 90 down and get her cup Of coffee
and peach pie Ia mode.
Nine down. piped the >tou >teHog-
rapher. The lit stopped and with
great dignity and politeness the e!eva-
tor boy opened the door. The stout
stenographer entered The moment
her foot pressed the floor OF the cage
the elevator sank two inches. The eic-
yator boy CLOSED the door without a
word, a glance or q smile. and the
downward Journey was resumed, The
three men who We're in the dropping
box. however gazcd about with Won
dering expression ON their faces When
their eyes took in The proportions of
the out steuographer q satisfied look
came into their couutcuaucc, They
understood why tho elevator had drop
ped two inche, under the pressure The
stout stenographer colored "a rich au-
tumnal red. and looked daggcr,. >abers.
broadsword> and other cutlery at the
boy. II sand no word-other than
NMain floor all OUT
After the luncheon hour the stout
stenographer ,auutered into the rotunda
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1897-09-17

Dlndruil, which cause, 80 ihuch
itching OF the scalp. can DE cuicu ny
Han, Hair Remover. because II l. Il
corrective tonic for gland, producing
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1897-09-17
ONE OF TWO WAYS.

The bladder was created for one
purpose, namely. A receptacle for the
urine. and as such is not liable To any
TORN of disease except by one OF two
ways The first way is from imperfect
action of the kidneys The second
way is from careless local treatment OF
other diseases.
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1897-09-17

How soft the music Of those village
bells, falling at intervals upon the ear
in cadence sweet! now dying all away,
now pealing loud again and louder still,
clear and sonorous it opens all the cells
where memory slept. -Cowper
Alma record. (Alma, Mich.) 1878-1928, 1897-09-17
out Of the Ordinary.

Man (at rostaurut-What sort Of
chicken do you call this, waiter;
The Waiter-That, sir, ] believe, is a
Plymouth Rock
Man-Ahl I'm Rladit's got some his
torical interest thought il was just
an ordinary cobblcstouc.- Pick Ne Up.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
SPEAKING TO THE DEAF.
A Mistake Is Often Made In Trying g.
Enunciate Very Plainly.

A Mistake Is Often Made In Trying Co
Enunciate Very Plainly.
Many people, and am sorry to say
some teachers of the deaf, fail to realize
in practice at least-that speech is not
as clearly visible to the eye as it is audi
BILE to the ear, and think that by speak
ing slowly, word by word, and opening
their mouths to the widest extent, they
will render the task Of the speech reader
easier. AS matter of fact they render
it all the more difficult. A child in
school may learn to understand teach
or who mouths his words in this man.
ner, but this ability is Of no value to
him when he leaves school. Indeed per-
feotly natural. deliberate speech is easier
to understand than the exaggerated
form of articulation which people are
apt TO use the moment they know they
are talking to totally deaf person.
People who depend entirely upon
their speech reading for understanding
others have requested me, when intro
duoing them to strangers, not to say
that they were deaf, because they find
1t easier to read the lips when the per-
son speaking is not aware that he is be-
ing understood in that way. I have in
my acquaintance o young man educated
wholly by this method who travels .
great deal and picks mp acquaintance
on the steamer or on the train just as
people do who possess all their faculties.
have in mind also congenitally
deaf girl Of IA who is not considered
unusually bright, yet whose speech is
clearly Ineligible to strangers after
the first ten minutes, who is intelligent
on the topics of the day, and whose
larger and more conversational roper.
tory is much larger and more entertain
ing than that Of many young ladies Of
40 and over that have met in metro
politan sooiety.-John Dutton Wright
in Century.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
How Bees Gather Honey.

Bees gather honey by the aid Of their
''trunk," Flower lip or tongue, "
which is used as an instrument for ex-
tracing the nectar from flowers. The
"tongue" of q bee is not, as was once
thought to be the case, . tube through
which the juice is sucked, but is built
more after the fashion of . fine broom.
With this broom the bee brushes or laps
the honey or honey material from the
flowers, leaves, ETC., and passes it down
. groove in the upper surface Of the
tongue to the mouth proper. From that
point the juice is conveyed through q
minute orifice into the first stomach, "
vulgarly called the "honey bag" The
"honey bag" is real chemical labora-
tory, where, by some mysterious process
which has not yet been explained by
science, the juices are converted into
pure honey. When the chemical process
Of transforming their nectar into viscid
honey has been completed, the bee dis
gorges it into one Of the cells made for
the purpose Of a receptacle.
For years the microscopes and the
entomologists have been studying the
bees laboratory, but its workings are
at present among the unexplained mys-
teries. st. Louis Republic.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11

An Englishman. touring through
America, went ON board a steamer late
ono night and on the following morning,
after walking on deck and looking
around him, he stepped up to the cap
tain and asked, II beg your pardon, but
would you kindly tell me what lake
I'm on?"
1.-THE Lake Huron" replied the cap
tain and turned away.
The Englishman looked puzzled for q
moment, and then, following the cap
tain, began again, II beg your pardon,
you said"-
''It's the Lake Huron" roared the
captain, thinking the man was deaf.
ayes, know" persisted the passen-
ger, "but what's the name of the lake
that I'm on?'
1.-THE Lake Huronr" shouted the cap.
tain, incensed at what he thought gross
stupidity. and he turned away to relieve
himself by railing at one of the hands.
The Englishman looked more puzzled
than ever.
1.-The lake you're on is the lake you re
on. OF course it is. The lake I'm on
can't help being the lake I'm on. What
impertinencel Let me look in my guide
book. Perhaps that will tell me-"
It did tell him, and then the humor
Of the situation suddenly dawned upon
Aim.-London Tit-Bits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
A Wonderful Avenue,

Magnolia avenue, which has been tho
pride of Riverside from its founding,
and which hos won a national reputa-
ton as q boulevard, has had two de-
fects. The streets leading to it were
usually dusty and disagreeable, while
the darkness Of the avenue, owing to the
dense foliage Of the overhanging pepper
trees, made it rather dismal evening
drive. All that is at an end. 1t is now
possible to drive from the heart Of town
over macadamized streets, perfectly free
from dust and mud, direct to the peer
less Magnolia avenue, and if the drive
be taken in the evening arc lights are
encountered every 800 feet, giving
splendid illumination. When the ave-
nue. is reached, there is presented such
a sight as few, if any, towns possess.
The electric poles are but 1874 feet apart,
and from these brackets project about
three feet. From each bracket hangs q
cluster of three incandescent lights COW
cred with reflector, which throws the
light on to the driveway.
As one stands at one end Of this row
Of lights but four or five Of them can be
distinguished as individual lights, the
remainder forming a continuous chain
Of fire which seemingly stretches away
| for untold miles beneath the verdant
canopy Of the arching pepper trees.
Modern as is the scene, it impresses the
beholder as an oriental fantasy worthy
of the Spanish Moors. The imagined
extent of the wondrous chain of fire,
however, is in degree an optical illu.
sion. Instead of being miles in length,
it is but little over a mile Instead of
there being untold thousands of lights,
one is amazed to learn that there are
but $50, suspended from but so poles.
Los Angeles Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11

We find as marked differences in had
its, tastes and characters among spiders
as among human beings. Some kinds
prefer always living in houses or Gel
lars, not seeming to care for any fresh
air or out of door exercise Mr.. Jesse
tells of two spiders that lived for 13
years in opposite corners of q drawer
which was used for soap and candles.
Others delight in making burrows in
the earth, in dwelling under stones or
behind the loose bark ON trees, and 9TH
ers live under water. Many never leave
their webs, but patiently wait, hoping
some insect will become entangled in
the snares they have set. Others dash
about and seize upon every luckless in
sect that crosses their path. The most
adventurous of all are those that sail
out into the world on one of their own
little threads.
In the bright autumn weather, if we
observe closely, we may sometimes sec
some of our own small spiders ascend
to the tops Of trees, fences and other
high objects, rise OH their toes, turn the
spinners upward, throw out a quantity
of silk and sail away. They grasp the
sirken thread with their feet and seem
to be enjoying themselves az much as
the birds and butterflies. Margaret w.
Leighton in Popular Science Monthly.
Author (invited to very poor dinner,
to himself)-A miserable dinner! III
have to take care that don't lot any
thing witty slip out.-F1iegende Blat-
ter
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
NOVEL ENTERTAINMENT.
1t Was Provided by st. Louis Man For
His Wife's Feminine Friends.


1t Was Provided by st. Louis Man For
His Wife's Feminine Friends.
A wealthy ST. Louisan living in the
vicinity of Lafayette park provided a
novel form of entertainment for his
wife's guests one evening. says the st.
Louis Republic.
The hostess was extremely anxious to
provide something original for the edi.
6cation of a score of guests whom she
intended to call together for an informal
evening. Her husband promised to pro-
vide such novelty and took boon COM
panion into his confidence to that end.
They had not exchanged ideas 80 con-
secutive seconds before they hit upon
the device Of converting the elegant
parlors into gambling house pro tenn.
A faro bank, a roulette wheel and po-
ker and keno lay outs were easily pro.
durable, as the conferees we'll knew,
and that part of the programme was
soon settled. The friend suggested as q
pretty epilogue the introduction OF a
pair of bulldogs, guaranteed to reduce
each other to mince meat in three
rounds. This rather staggered the ambi-
tious host, but his friend is ward poll
tician, and with the eloquence he always
keeps ON draft soon convinced the other
that the evening would be a failure
without those bulldogs.
The evening arrived, and with it came
the guests. The ladies were prettily
shocked at sight Of the gambling para
phernklia, but became accustomed to 1t
in an astonishingly short time and shar-
ed in the games with becoming vim. 1t
was when the yellow bulldogs made
their unexpected entrance that the hor-
ror of the fair guests proved genuine.
The beasts yelped and growled and
showed other peculiarly canine symp-
toms of "spoiling for a fight. " There
upon the ladies sought refuge on the pi-
ane and card tables and chairs, con-
Quoting their retreat as from a mouse.
Notwithstanding excited feminine
protestations, the friend who had been
consulted as to q novelty in entertain
ment unleashed the dogs. 1t was an ex-
citing climax to an Original" evening.
The dogs Toasted for five minutes on
choice bits of each others anatomy.
The ladies screamed and the friend who
was consulted exulted in the success Of
his novelty. When he was quite con-
vinced-and it took a considerable time
to convince him-that the ladies' desire
for gore had been fully gratified, he
doused the dogs into convenient tub
of water and separated them.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Sheriff's Sale.
SHERWOOD +. RAYMOND,

SHERWOOD F. RAYMOND,
Trustee.
JAMES HUNTER, CHARLOTTE
HUNTER and THEO. f. MYERS
BY virtue of II special execution directed to
me from the Clerk of the District Court of
Audubon county, Iowa, on a Judgment rendered
in said District Court Oh the 4th day of January
1897, in favor of Sherwood +. Raymond, trustee,
us plaintiff, and against James Hunter and
Charlotte Hunter, AS defendants, for the sum
of Sixteen Hundred and Seventeen dollars and
Slxty-fonr cents, (S16l7.64,) and costs taxed at
Ten dollars and Sixty cents, $50 CO., and ac-
cruing costs, aud Fifty-SiX dollars. 1856 co., at
tOrDey's fees. have levied upon the following
mOrtgaged premises hereinafter described to
satisfy said execution, to-wit: West half Of
the southeast quarter Of Section Sixteen (16),
Township Eighty ,sO,) Range Thirty-four (34),
West 9Th +. NJ, Iowa, and will offer
the same for sale to the highest bidder for cash
in hand on the list day of March A ID. 1897, in
front of the Court House in Audubon at the
hour Of 2 O'Clock y. m. OF said day, when and
where due attendance will he given by the I'M
dersgned.
Dated at Audubon, this 18th day of January
1887
J. II. JONES,
Sheriff Of Said County.
JOHN II. MosIER,
Attorney. saw
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11

mere Is a venerable and benevolent
Judge in Paris who at the moment Of
passing sentence on q prisoner consults
his assessors ON each side Of him rs to
the proper penalty to b inflicted.
What ought we to give this rascal,
brother?" he says, bending over to the
assessor on the right.
II should say three years"
What is your opinion, brother?' to
the assessor ON the left.
II should give him about four years. "
The judge, with beneyolence: "Pris-
oner, not desiring to give you long
and severe term of imprisonment, as
should have done if left to myself,
have consulted my learned brethren and
shall take their advice. Seven years. u
London Telegraph.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Stories Of Prentice.

George d. Prentice was a remarkably
candid man, illustration OF which is
given in the anecdotes which f,"ow;
but these are only few of the hundreds
to be told:
Once when coming out Of a public
building in Louisville he was about to
pass through double door which open
ed both ways. Like the Sensible man he
was he started to push at the door half
OH his right. A young man coming from
the opposite direction was pushing at
the same door, being his own left.
Prentice lost patience, and throwing
himself with all his might against the
door it flew open and the young man
went sprawling on the mosaic floor.
Assisting the youth to arise, Prentice
remarked: "Take my advice. my son.
Keep to the right in your way through
life, and you'll never run against any
body but blamed fool, and you needn't
apologize to him."
Will S. Hays, the famous Kentucky
song writer, was in the latter days Of
the old Journal river reporter for The
Democrat. Hays was very sudden
young man, good hearted, jolly, witty,
but lacking somewhat in reverence, and
he had habit of calling persons, even
old enough to be his grandfather, by
their given names. Visiting Prentice
one day as fellow poet, after some des-
ultory talk, Hays said:
II suppose, George, you have seen
my last song"
Prentice looked up at Hays, who was
seated cross legged OH Prentice's table,
and with twinkle in his expressive
eyes quietly replied:
II hope so, Bill"
Bill looked around for a second or
two, as if something had tapped him,
and then slid down the baluster rail to
the front door.-Chicago Times Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
WHY 1T WAS HOT.
The Hash Epicure's Initial nor,.,.
With a Chatting Di

The Hash Epicure's Initial E-,.r,.r.
With Chafing d. =,
II had beard of cL,afnu dishes for
years, said Smiley Williams "bnt tha
one I saw for lac first time fioored me
completely.
never thought much aoout the
blamed things, but somehow I supposed
chatting dish was some sort of concern
that they grated things in-something
that rubbed together and mashed things
"The other night, though, Bolton
and went into a Madison street res.
taurant for dinner. You know always
have sneaking liking for hash of any
kind, and so does Bolton. Bolton order
ed turkey hash for two and the waiter
brought it on in q swell sort of silver
dish nearly as tall as cake basket. It
had tight cover. and when we opened
it it steamed like a 40 horsepower boil
or blowing off.
81 loaded up Bottoms plate, and in
the first pass at it he took the skin off
his tongue, it was 80 hot.
Just like these internal places,
Bolton growled. Anything you've got
to eat is blistering hot, while coffee is
always stone cold
"After awhile Bolton took some more
hash and burned his tongue again.
Holy Noses he said, what's got
into that kash?'
81 told him nobody was expected to
know anything about restaurant hash,
especially the fellow who was eating it,
but he wasn't satisfied.
"Well, we kept on eating hash until
we had enough. And do you know that
hash left in the dish was hotter than it
was at the start?
"'Well, said Bolton, 4 wouldn't
have believed my eyes, but with most
Of the skin off my tongue I've got to
give it up Then he called the waiter.
Say he said, in low tone, IN
give you quarter if you'll tell me
what in blazes is the matter with that
hash.
" Beg pahdon, sah?'
"'What keeps that hash so all fred
hot?'
why. sab, that's chatting dish,
sahp
"That's how found out that chat
ing dish is silver fruit stand with q
fire built under it. "-Chicago Record.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Cities Buried by Sand Storms.

Sven Hedin, tho Norwegian traveller,
has discovered ON the north side Of the
Kuen Lun mountains, and in the edge
of the great desert Of Cobb, the ruins Of
towns which he thinks were buried by
sand storms about 1000 years ago. The
largest town was nearly az miles long,
and canal connected it and the sur
rounding country with the Kerija river.
The houses had walls of plated reeds,
covered with mud and then coated with
white plaster, and on these plaster walls
were we'll executed paintings Of men,
animals and flowers. Poplars, apricots
and plum trees had evidently hourished
there before the invasion of the sand. -
San Francisco Chronicle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
How She Dieted.

Mr.. I. Zangwill, at a dinner of the
Maccabees, told the following story:
''The fat girl of c., gentlemen, is not
a myth, nor a show person, but solid,
private reality that have seen. Her
fairness weighed upon her; SO she went
to a physician to be rid of some of it.
He drew up careful dietary. She was
to eat dry toast. plain boiled beef, etc.,
and to return in a month to report re-
duction. At the end of the month she
could hardly get through the doctors
doorway. He was aghast. Did you eat
what I told your he asked. Religious
~ His brow wrinkled itself. Sudden.
~ he had fash of inspiration. Amy.
thing else?' he asked. MY ordinary
meals.'n
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
First Movements During n Revolution.

First Movements During q Revolution.
know the men of the people in Par
is too we'll not to know that their first
movements in times of revolution are
usually generous, and that they are best
pleased to spend the days Immediately
following their triumph in boasting Of
their victory, laying down the law and
playing at being great men. During
that time it generally happens that
some government or other is set up, the
police returns to its post and the judge
to his bench, and when at last our great
men consent to step down to the better
known and more vulgar ground of pet
ty and malicious human passions they
are no longer able to do so and are re-
daced to live simply like honest men.
Besides, we have spent so many years
in instructions that there have arisen
among US kind of morality peculiar
to times of disorder and special code
for days of rebellion. According to these
exceptional laws, murder is tolerated
and havoc permitted, but theft is stren-
uously forbidden, although this, what
ever one may say, does not prevent q
good deal of robbery from occurring up
on those days for the simple reason that
society in state Of rebellion cannot be
different from that at any other time,
and it will always contain number Of
rascals who, as far as they are concern
ed, scorn the morality Of the main body
and despise its point of honor when
they are unobserved. Recollection"
of Do Tocqueville.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Notice of Probate of Will.
JOHN II. MosIER,
Attorney.

District Court in and for Audubon
County.
STATE OF Iowa, =.
Audubon County, 's'
To WHOM IT MAY CONCERN:
Whereas, on the 9th day of January
A. d. 1897, paper purporting to be the
last Will and Testament of William
Suffer, late Of said County, deceased,
was fled in my Office, and was by me
opened and read, and the I'd day OF
March 1897, appointed and fixed as the
time when the same will come before the
court at the March term thereof to be
held, for final proof and probate, as the
duly executed last Will and Testament
of said William Suffer, deceased, at
which time all persons interested may
appear and show cause why the same
should not be admitted to probate.
Dated this II day of January 1897.
H. d. WOODWARD,
43w Clerk.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
A Grandfather's Clock.

Baron Ferdinand Rothschild possesses
an old grandfather clock" that orig
inally cost over $50, 900. The mechan-
ism records the day of the week, month
of the year, the phases of the moon and
strikes each hour. The quarters are
chimed with different bell, and %
rare thing with these clocks) it has a
second hand. The case was made by
Wertheimer and stands Il feet high. It
was originally the property Of Louis
XVI
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Climbing.

Selfish ambition may help us to climb
to the point where we may be seen, but
it never aids us in climbing to where
we can see. The higher a man gets in
the world in pursuit of selfish aims the
narrower his field Of vision becomes.
The higher he gets in the pursuit Of nm
selfish aims the farther he can sec
around him. It matters little whether
we climb in life il we do not climb to-
ward higher point Of vision.
School Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Tho TelItale.

Eyes, my dear, I'm . gay bachelor,
said masked man to q masked lady ut
q masquerade party the other evening.
He felt queer when she said to him in
a low voice:
Don't be q silly. John. I know you
by that wart on your thumb"
It was his wife. Fun.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-11
Bucklen's ArnIca Salve

The best salve in the world for Cuts.
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblains, Corrs, and all Skin Erup-
tons, and positively cures Piles or no
pay required. 1t is guaranteed to give
perfect satisfaction or money refunded.
Price % cents per box. For sale by A.
II, Roberts.