The Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Or.) 1862-1899, 1897-06-18
ATTACK OF LUMBAGO.

the eIllueuI pug Stcldu, turOW1uS uo" IL
the evening paper, which he had just
been perusing, and delivering himself
In his most sententious manner. "How
many complete comedies, and tragedies
for the matter of that, may often be
latent in two or three commonplace
lines of printv'
"And what, pray, most sapient phil
osopher, has evoked from you that pro-
found sentiment? 1 inquired, laugh
ingly.
1.-The concluding sentence in this obit-
uary notice Of the bishop Of X" he
said, taking up the paper again and
reading aloud the passage: He mar
ried, in 1866, Margaretta, third daugh-
ter of the late Joshua Barker"
Indeed" said. "And is it a COM
edy, my philosopher, or tragedy that
turks in that very simple historical an
nouncement?'
"Umph! A comedy. At any rate the
comic element prevails"
"You knew the bishop in his young
days, believe"
Intimately, and his wife, too. In
fact, l myself was a spectator of the
little comedy which resulted In their
marriage"
''You were"
"I was" said Thorley, with an i'm
pressive air. saw that he was burst
ing to tell a good story. We were by
ourselves in a corner of the club smok-
Ing room There are men from whom,
In like circumstances, l should have
fed incontinent, pleading an immediate
engagement. But Thorley was an ex-
cellent raeonteur and 1 had nothing
particular to do for half an hour. l
therefore lay back in my chair and re-
garded him encouragingly.
ST believe" he went on, 'that you
would find the story rather diverting."
'"Then, by all means, Let me hear it,
suggested.
And, nothing loath, he began:
at all happened more than thirty
rears ago." Thorley said. 81 need hard
say that the bishop had not, in those
lays, attained to episcopal honors. He
was, In fact, merely, the vicar of Penn
borough, where l. youngster, was
carrying ON my first practice, and
where Margaretta's father was brew
ng Indifferent beer. But even then his
reverence was cleric marked out for
future preferment, no less by his aris-
tocratic connections than by his in
rinsic personal merits. Nor by that
10 mean to imply that these merits
were inconsiderabIe. He was decided
" intellectual, an eloquent preacher, a
rood organizer And his bodily pres
knce contributed an appreciable quota
10 the effect of those qualities. He was
sall, imposing dignified. Calm author
Hativeness sat upon his placid and am
pie forehead. Solidity and weight
bwelled in the undulatious of his capa
hous waistcoat Severe moral recti-
tude helped to stiffen every Line of his
upright and stately bearing. Even
Lpart, therefore, from his intrinsic self
he made splendid figurehead for the
spiritual life of the parish. 1 suppose
his age must have been about 40,
though he looked older. And he was
confirmed bachelor So much so, in
TACT, that the single ladies in Pembor-
pugh, of whom there were many, hard
y regarded the vicar as a matrimonial
" possibility; albeit, with his high con-
nections and good prospects, he would
have been an excellent spec for the
best of them.
mot that he was boor or a brutal
misogynist or anything Of that kind.
Very much the reverse. He mixed free
y in the social life of the place. He
annoyed the company of ladies, and,
indeed, in his sanctified way, was quite
proficient firt. But to that deeper,
lasting sentiment which leads through
courtship to wedlock he was entirely
strange, and honestly believe that the
bare idea Of matrimony had never
crossed his mind.
''Now 1 will revert for a minute to
the Barkers.
81 have said that Joshua Barker, the
head of that family, was a brewer of
Indifferent beer. In spite of the quail
lty of his malt liquors he did a large
business, having many tied houses, and
was worth a considerable sum of mon
ey. But then he was the father Of
fourteen children, so that his fine In
come was somewhat discounted.
shall not have much to say about any
of them, excepting his eldest daughter,
Margaretta, whom knew better than
any of the others and who was a great
friend of my wife's. In fact, the young
Lady spent a great part of her time at
our house. And I was glad that she
did so for my wife, having only lately
been married to me, and having come
from house full Of brothers and sis
ters, was in need of a congenial com
panion.
''Margaretta was a handsome and
prepossessing. girl; though even In
those days she showed some slight ten
dency toward that richness Of form anG
feature which she has since abundant
ly realized. You have never met the
bishops wife? All, well! She has
long measured a good forty-fve inches
round the waist and is now the pos
SCISSOR of four chins. But in her girl
hood she was pretty and fascinating
and slight, and not few local bloods
were enamored of her. These local
bloods, however, were all of the plebs
plebian, and Margaretta was a girl
of aspirations. She wanted to escapl
altogether from the sordid vulgarity OF
Peterborough society and to blossom
Into some more select and fashionable
sphere. Thus, at least, she frequently
confided to my wife, who, womanlike,
aided and abetted her in this ambitious
folly.
my wife was talking to me about