Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-01-28

She-10u seem 10 forget yOurseit.
sir. He-How could do otherwise in
your presence?-Judy.
Friend-I suppose everything you
write now goes? Authorizes, but
most of 1t comes baek.-Harlem Life.
II know now" remarked the young
man who was sued for breach Of prom
lse, why they call 1t counting. lid
Bits.
Editor-Your story Is fiat. Author
Yes? Editor-I wish to compliment
you. Most stories we get are rolled
up.-Puck.
"Uncle Simon, what Is a phenome-
non" "A phenomenon is man who
gets SO rich that lie won't accept pass
on a railroad."-Chlcago Record.
Bubbles-My wife and 1 met by
accident. Thrown together by chance.
as 1t were. Wheelwoman eagerly
Did you break the bicycles?-Buffalo
| Times.
II Jared pretty well on Christmas"
said the man with the blue coat. In
deedT Yes; you know I'm street
car conductor. "-Philadelphia North
American.
Mrs. Newlywed lin tears)-You used
to say that you would be glad to die
| for me. Mr.. Newlywed-Well, l would
now. Mrs. Newlywed-Well, you may
now.-Judge.
"I'll wager that woman submarine
diver doesn't stay under the water more
than ten minutes at time" Why"
Nobody down there to talk to."-Chi-
cago Record.
"Pugllism isn't what ii used to be-"
mo; the advances made In implements
Of modern warfare have thrown it into
| the shade somewhat. "-Philadelphia
| North American.
Hungry Higgins-All dis here hand
out lacks is finger-bowls. Weary Wat
kins-Yes, t'ink could git away wild
erbout a t'ree-fnger bowl myself.-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Reporter-Three men fell on live troll
ley wires to-day. City Edltor-Run 'em
In the current events column. Chorus
OF groans from the force. )-Cincinnatl
Commercial Tribune.
She-Mr. Fullback never boasts of his
| football exploits, does he? He-No,
understand that he has nearly killed
half a dozen men, but he never says a
word about it.-Puck.
"Called any to-day" "Only once,
| and then l was left out in the cold"
you don't mean it; where?" Down
at Bagsley's. He held four aces."-Cin-
cinnati Commercial Tribune.
Alethea (blushingly)-Now, don't, Mr..
Dusnap! / know little Ferdinand Is
watching at the key-bole. Dusnap-
Well, let's crafty his curiosity, and
then he may go away-Puck.
II am sorry to hear that Allwuhl, the
clothing merchant, has failed in bust
ness" How did it happenT' "Over-
confidence. He brought on n carload
| of ear muffs.'-Chicago Tribune.
Judge Ito couple sentenced for fight
ing)-Have you anything to say? Male
Defendant would like to have my
wife commence her term in prison after
l am releascd.--German exchange.
She-Do you believe in long engage
ments? He-Well, think an engage
ment should be long enough to test a
mans constancy and to give the girl
time to learn to cook.-Bropkiyn Life.
Helm waiting for thel Interesting
woman of 80 that the novelists talk
| about She-Well, you won't find her
in Vienna. All the women here under
! 60 are not over 22.-Illustrated Bits}
"You know that old gag Of telling the
| beggar that you are working this side
of the street? l tried it the other day."
did 1t work. mo; he licked me for
getting on his beatr'-Chicago Record.
Cholly-It would be queer, doncher-
know. If the Theosophists were right,
and If we came to life again in some
other form. She-Yes. Cholly; some
| folks might expect better luck next
| time.-Puck.
Mrs. Mulligan-Do yez feel better this
morning. Mrs. O'Toole? Mrs O'Toole-
| I do, and then again 1 don't. Mrs.
Mulligan--Thot's bad, fur it's harrud
| to know whether to say I'm sorry or
glad.-Harpers Bazaar.
"They must have had cyclone over
| at Newriches last week." What
makes you think SOP" 'Mr. Newriches
said they had their monogram blown
into every piece of glass in the houses"
Detroit Free Press.
What kind of goods, ma'am?" asked
the salesman. II think" replied tho
young woman who had just bought q
| wheel and was about to order her first
riding suit, ''you may show me some Of
your early fall styles. Trib-
une
"Ah," asked the lady, 'this rouge
| will not-er-rub off," "Oh, dear no,
| men," said the clerk: ut is especially
warranted to stand all the kisses of in
vestigation ones feminine friends may
choose to try on it."-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
Nell-Miss Bjones uses French
phrases In the most peculiar manner"
Bell-Does she? Nell-Ycs, indeed!
Why. at breakfast yesterday l asked
her how she liked her eggs, and she
said they were very chick.-Philadel.
| phia Record.
Buzzfuzz-Is there much difference
between comic and grand opera? Siz-
zletop (emphatically)-Oh yes! In
| comic opera the actress wears tho
startling costumes; in grand opera they
are worn by the society ladies. In the
L