Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-08-19
spl|z;Ns


engaged to him." what caused the
delay?" \
She-And what would you be now II
1t weren't for my money? He-A bach
elor.-Boston Traveller.
II saw Singleton with his wheels to-
day." why not say bicycles" BE-
cause 1t was a baby carriage"
How much have repairs cost you
since you've been riding the bicycle"
Repairs to what-myself; or the ma
chiney"-Boston Traveller.
Husband-How do you like the view?
Wife with ecstacy)-Oh! am speech
less. Husband-I shall stay and build
a house.-Journal Amusant.
Bibman-Did your watch stop when
you dropped it ON the floor? Magley-
OF course it did. Did you think It
would go through ?-Tit-
where's yer brother got to lately,
Liar "E got ten days for knockin'
a pleeceman down." "W'ot? ten days
for one pleeceman?"-Pick-Me-Up.
I'm sure I'll never be able to walk
up the aisle with papa" why not,
my childY Papa is so ridiculously
low geared."--Cleveland Plaindealer.
do you suppose scorching is the
cause of all these bicycle faces we
see?" "Shucks, no! In nine cases out
of ten tits the installment PLAN
Truth.
Frank-Some genius in Birmingham
has invented buttonless shirt. Billy
Why, that's old. I've worn them
ever since my wife learned to ride
bike.-Tid-Bits
Mr.. Kashbocks--My money is a lot
OF trouble to me. Miss Mayting-They
say every man ought to have some
woman to share his troubles.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer
She--Who was it that said There's
no such word as fail" He-Oh, don't
remember; some smart Alec who never
tried to open car window, / suppose
-Yonkers Statesman.
Mrs. Fussanfeather-I understand
that Mr.. Tallman kissed you on the
stoop last night. Miss Fussanfeather
Why, yes, mamma; he's so tail ne
had to.--Yonkers Statesman.
Nurse-JOhnnie, the stork has
brought you a little baby. Wouldn't
YOU like to see your little brother?
Johnnie-Naw. But I'd like to see
the stork.-Stockholm Kasper.
II have just taken life to save my
own" what do you mean| IF
hadn't taken that Life of Grant the
woman book agent would have talked
me to death."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
Wheeler-Whew! Isn't this day a
scorcher? Walker-It has been dis
agreeable, exasperating, muggy, infer
nally hot day. but l would not call 1T
so mean name as that.-Indianapolis
Journal.
George fear you are marrying me
Just because my uncle left me Tor
tune" mo. my precious. I'd marry
Won lust the same as If any other
friend had left it to you."-Boston
Traveller.
"You have. aw, no leisure claws IN
this country, aw," remarked the IN
terrogative visitor You can't have
seen room full of government clerks
in action" replied the native Ameri-
can.-Life.
Excited Wife-Oh, professor, the
cook has fallen and broken her collar
bone. Professor-Discharge her at
once! You told her what to expect IL
she broke anything more.-Detroit
FreePress.
'Look at that girl" exclaimed Mrs.
Prim at the seashore; "she might as
well have nothing on as that bathing
suit!' Never mind, my dear, I'll COW
err her with my glasses" said Mr.. Prim
sympathetically, suiting the action TO
the word.-Ben Franklin.
"Why," said the patriot, "the United
States would have a picnic with Japan
il she objected to our annexation OF
the Hawaiian islands" "Of course"
echoes Joe Cose, land the islands
would furnish the sandwiches. Phil
adelphia North American.
Il wonder" said the man of Stats
teal turn, II wonder how much pow
der is destroyed daily in useless sa-
lutes?" There must be a lot" said
the frivolous girl. But l suppose
women will go on kissing one another
just the e."-Indianapolis Journal.
The Doctor-Mrs. Brown has sent for
me to go and see her boy, and | must
go at once. His Wife-What is the
matter with the boy? The Doctor-I
don't know. but Mrs. Brown has book
on "What to Do Before the Doctor
Comes" and l must hurry up before
she does it.-Medical Record.
Dear" said the Senator's wife, ''the
papers are accusing you of letting the
stock market influence your vote" 1T
is a lie," roared the statesman, as he
pounded the table with his fist. IAN
have done in that direction was to al
low my vote to influence my dealings
in the stock market. "-Indianapolis
Journal
"What is an average" asked the
teacher. The class seemed to be posed.
but little girl held out her hand ca
gerly please. it's what hen lays
her eggs on" Bewilderment followed,
but the mite was justified by the lea.
son book, in which was written: 'sThe
hen lays 200 eggs year on an aver
age."-Household Words.
------=----------==-
An Old Russi IN Coin.
t. l.. 20. that A.