Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1897-02-11
BAB'S INTERESTING CHAPTER
Remarks About Men. Railroads
and Express Companies.
EXPERIENCES WITH AuTOGRATS
Man Can Impress Where Wo-
&a man Can Only Please.


i do wish | were man Not often,
for their clothes are 30 ugly. But there
is no doubt about it that man can
impress where woman can only please.
There are times when the mere fact of
being a man forces success; and these
: times are, undoubtedly, when it be-
comes necessary to find fault with the
methods of corporation. There are
some corporations of which highly APP
prove--the railroads. In the utmost
luxury they take me flying across the
country to wherever wish to go, and, /
generAlizing, think the servants of
the railroad are polite. Ticket-selers
have an unpleasant way of convincing
woman that she is an idiot. but
then, so many women, who take up the
time Of the men in the ticket Offices
are idiots. Porters are polite when
they hope; less polite, perhaps, when
they receive, for expectancy is always
pleasant state of mind. But against
one OF the other corporations that one
which guarantees to take package,
and. for q certain SUM of money, de-
liver it at your door-I have a eriev-
ance. and just one.
During Christmas week the express
man is welcome guest. Every time
the bell rings some face will appear at
the window, looking out to see il it is
an express wagon. have gone through
all those delights: have expressed my
thanks to the bringers of gifts, not
only verbally, but materially. Yet
thore is another side to the story-and
that is the sanding OF packages and
boxes. One day found me at the door
of Ewes Express Co. with four parcels
and wooden box. The wooden box
was marked in large letters. "Fragile. "
1t contained a lovely cup and saucer
of the very finest china, filled with
bonbons and properly packed by china
packer. As one DOES with a present, l
paid for Its travel. Within a week
news came that the box had arrived
but-the cup was in hundred pieces |!
A visit to the Office of this special cor
poration resulted in my being informed
that could never get anything for it.
The man that told me this was very
civil, but his civility was convincing,
Experience No. l.
Experience No. 2 is more dramatic.
Two days before Christmas there came
telegram have nothing TO say
present--that read Canvasback ducks
and holly in basket sent last night
Merry Christmas. All day long that
basket was looked for. At night the
news OF its non-arrival was wired to
Baltimore. search was suggested,
but alas days went by, and meantime,
instead of canvasbacks, rich, luscious
and tasting of the wild celery, l had to
eat turkey, dry, tasteless turkey. Then,
the man who had started the box sug.
gested that | investigate. Having Q
little belief in this special corporation,
I started, dressed like the gentleman o.
song in my best suit of clothes, with
out fear and without trembling. That
was before l knew as much as I dc
now. On my arrival at the dingy office.
Z, of the company inquired for tho prssi
dent "Out of town." Then l asked
whose business il was to attend to com
= pAints. i was sent TO an office boy who
knew nothing. From him was, in
way, tossed over to young man wht
knew everything. but who proposed t,
keep bis knowledge to himself. ii,
sent me up winding flight of stairs
and landed after tripping twice befor
door marked Superintendent. Tw,
knocks and no answer. Then / en-
tered. There wore more men smokin,
cigars than had ever seen in on
Office in all my business career. in
quired for the superintendent. "Busy. ;
Well, would anybody see me? "les
his secretary" The secretary wa
seated at desk from which he did no
arise, nor did he offer ME chair
The minute l looked at him | kne,
that be was my enemy. lie was short
rather broad, shy of hair on his head
and with bristly moustache tina
looked as il it had shock of cleo
tricity aud each hair OF which sug
Is gested fight. He wore glasses, No
glasses usually give people IA beneroien
look, but even halo wouldn't hav
made this man look like anything br
either the possible ancestor of bruiseI
or the descendent Of long line
prize fighters.
started to tell my story in the mos
business like way. l. offered, as ev
dence of the truth of my statement,
copy of the manifest book which tol
of the reception of the ducks. Ih
knew that this manifest page Wi
genuine. | inquired, with certai
heat how in the name of everythir
good and holy could get page of Il
manifest buok of a place nearly q
miles from me? lie didn't make AT
answer to my remark, but announce
that, probably, the address was n,
written in ink. AS the basket was Sol
by man, l was sure it was proper
addressed. Then he told Inc that
they found the basket 1 would have
tuke it,, Now, like ducks high, b,
l don't like them over a onth aft
killing, even if they have been kept
cold storage. A few more corporate
civilities made nc so nervous that
departed. hoping that the old pla
would catch on fire and some awf
thing happen to that man. A few da
passed. tThat's way noveiists alwa
write. got lotter. 1t assured ii
that the basket had been delivere
that it had beon receirted for by
Mrs. Italiano; and that In future,
would be wise il / would refrain fro
censuring the company. This did ia
my breath away. never know befo
that when you sent a package by Q
press you received, in addition to
possible loss, a little moral tag. a
swered that letter told that man tn
there was nobody in my apartment
in my Eo1t-c of that name that the g
press company could find Mrs. Italia
and prove why she could receive
basket addressed to me. But oh if
had been man! l should have go
down there. | should have sworn wh
is commonly known as ''bluo streak
The company would have paid for t
ducks, the holly, tho basket my wor
and nv Inconvenience and thnre u,u