The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1897-07-12
HREE AND IRERE

A prominent resident out the pike met
with quite a surprise the other day. He
lives between the park and Elm Grove.
and his home is one OF the most palatIal
OF the many handsome suburban homes
in that section, but like all rural citl-
zens, he is compelled to assist in keep
Ing the roads in repair, and like many
OF the same, he is little lax on the
road question. Twas upon this ques-
ton that the road supervisor sought an
interview with him the other day. and
It was brief and to the point
Being a modest man and In rather
rough garb. the supervisor knocked at
the back door, It was at "hlgh noon"
according to the society wedding re-
port An instant after the knocking,
the lord Of the household rushed out
from the dinner table, and indignantly
exclaimed
"oh, I'm sick OF feeding such trash as
you, Get away from here and don't
bother met
That's oil right" was the meek re-
ply. "but you're not goln' to heEt me
out o. two days work on the roads this
year You beat me last year, and II
you don't fix matters up, or send d sub
stitute, III sue you"
AND" continued the sovereign OF the
roads, as a parting shot to the fainting
lord OF the household, II want you 90
80,
Long after the speaker had passed
down the shaded walk to the pike,
man with one hand on the door knob,
and the other on his brow, stood re-
fleeing upon the things that sometimes
come to pass.
Captain e. T. Underwood, night clerk
at the Windsor, has fund OF good
stories, and when occasion demands II,
he is very liberal In disposing of the
fund. For many years a conductor in
the south, and n long time upon the
road that crosses the Isthmus OF Pana-
ma, he has had ample opportunity for
observation OF human character under
sunny skies, but he Is equally at home
In spinning yarns OF the men of every
cline His good-natured countenauce,
and his ample glrth are happy factors
in his humorous stories, and they must
be seen to rightly appreciate such as
the following:
According TO the genial captain, Mr..
McKim and Mr.. Muldoon We're close
nelghbors. They were married, as all
men unable to secure employment
should be. But to Mr. McNim and Mr..
Muldoon. Now, the latter gentleman
was greatly henpecked. His spouse
treated him cruelty day In and day out,
so that he lived In suspense, fearing
what new terrors the morrow would
bring forth. She ruled him with a
hand OF iron, and many day had he
rued the occasion, when on Blended
knees, he had asked her TO be his, only
TO find later that he was hers. His sole
enjoyment consisted OF the pleasure heV
secured from his little black stump of q
pipe. But even this was denied him,
and he was forced to step into Mr.
McKim's. and in hiding, get u few
draws"
One night the city was In a whirl Of
excitement over grand street parade
OF thousands of brilliantly uniformed
men. All the occupants Of the fiat. but
Mr.. Muldoon. were at the front win
dows. II had no charm for him. He was
glad to be away from his other half
and found the only peace there was In
life for him. sitting In the little kitchen
of the McKim household, where, be
tween the whlffs of his pipe, he saw
again. the "ould sod" and him n happy,
barefooted boy, with no other female
restraining hand than his mothers.
The only discomfort he was suffering,
was from his lips which had been
cracked open by the wind
Nevertheless he was In comfort
Drenmlly he smoked away, once In
awhile wishing for tho presence OF Mr.
McKim, to whom he sometimes contld-
ed the cruel treatment OF Mrs. Null
doom, He heard the bands playing
away out on the streets, heard the vol
umes OF cheers, and thought amid them
all he heard n crash and cry as OF
pain. And 1t seemed but moment Ia
ter when Mr.. McKim dashed down the
long, rlckety stairs into the kitchen and
breathlessly cried out:
"oh, Mr. Muldoon, faith its bad news
/ have for vel"
sure, Mr. McKlm, It can't be as bad
as that" broke in Mr.. Muldoon after
tenderly removing his pipe from his
mouth.
,'Yls, indeed. 1t is, so prepare for the
worst. Its yerself that knows what a
heavy woman Mrs Muldoon is. Well,
she was watchln' the procession go by.
an when she heard the band shtrike up
Garry owen" she-oh, Mr.. Muldoon,
it's agin me to tell It"
"Arrah. go on, MIR. McKim faith I'm
gettiH' uRaIsy"
ITS well you might be, Mr. Null
doom, for as / said, when the band
shtruck up Garry owen" she got ex-
cited. an layned over the peazzy. an
II broke with her weight, an down she
whit to the street, where she was kilt
intlrcly! oh, It's sorry for yez ! am,
Mr.. Muldoon."
"Hn-ha-ha! Don't make mo lauah,
Mr.. Muidoon; for the HIPS IS cracked"
DR. s0oY's SERMON,