Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-03-20
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"Are you,ecquainted with any soci.
city peopley" "Oh, yes, know thing
or two."I.ife.
did you take the waters at sara.
toga, Col. Kcntuck;" mo, sub; I new.
ah mix my drinks"
Customer-what can you give me for
a modest lunch? walter-weli. there's
49, y:r, with sslug.-be,Seit Tribune,
- ~ :ou kiss Inc again I will car
mamma" "well. I don't mind: she 10
still a young-lookiug woman."-Town
Topics.
He-what will the world cas-, at our
divorce?" The millionaire spouse--That
fool and his money are soon parted"
Life.
Mammal wish you could get George
q nice situation. Papa--lm afraid I
can't suit George. He wants a place in
which time will hang heavily on hN
hands.-Puck.
Daughter-George says he fears he
can't support me In the style I'm accus.
toned to. The father Marry him.
anyhow. I can't keep II up much long.
er myself.-Town Topics.
The Giddy Young Thing-what u
that proverb about there being no mar.
rying In heaven? The Chronic Bach.
elor--Foo!s rush in where angels fear
to tread.-lndianapolls Journal.
II should like to 60 TO my mother.
in.law's funeral this afternoon, SIR
said the book-keeper to the "old man."
80 should L. replied the proprietor.
as he turned to his desk again.-Puch.
At an official ball: "Sir. allow me to
shake hands with you. just by way Of
showing that know somebody here"
with pleasure. sir. as I am precisely
In the same boat rs yoursclf."-Le eau.
lois.
Lady In pony car. (who has made
several unsuccessful attempts to pass
perseverlng beginner occupying the
whole road)-Unless you soon foil Oh.
cir. I'm afraid shall miss my train
Punch.
Il shall hold him In sweet remem.
brnnce.' said the poten;ate Of Bwkplo.
He could hardly have done otherwise.
Even at home the young missionary
had been spoken Of as one Of excellent
taste.--Clncinnati Enquirer.
A New York doctor says that frogs
legs are good for people suffering from
tuberculosis. The batria- chOphagous
element OF our population have long
n,
cousumption.--Dal!as News.
Husband - You're not economical.
wife-We!l. II you don't call won.
m economical who saves her wedding
dress for n possible second maria ge,
Id like to know what you think econ.
omy ls.--Melbourne Punch.
George-You do not call on Miss Rose.
bud now? Jack--No; I got Disguised.
She has such coarse laugh. George
never noticed that. Jack-You would
II you'd been within hearing when I
proposed to her.-Dubiin World.
"I'm tired of the men OF to-day" do.
cared Miss Elderly: III was very d!f.
fercnt In the good old days OF chvalry."
DO tell me about II. dear" answered
Mis- Deeply: ct; was before my time.
you know."-Dc;roIt Free Press.
"Well." said the absent. minded and
new arrival In Hadcs, rs he moppcd his
perplring brow, there's something to
I've thankful for down here. anyway.
Folks won't always be yelling at me
10 shut the door."-Baltimore News.
ayes. SIR" said Mr.. winbiddle to a
stranger. II insist tina, all water used
for drinking and culinary purposes
should be boiled at least half an hour"
"YOu are q physician. I presume?"
mo; ! am coal dealcr."-New York
Journal.
Briggs-S!mmerson, the inventor,
says his wife doesn't even know what
business he IL In. Gr!ggs-Why has he
concealed Il from her? Briggs-He 10
afraid she might set the Impression
that he could do odd Jobs around the
house.-Life.
Mn. Guile-Does Mr.. Circuit drink ?
Gulle-No; what makes you ask? Mrs.
Guile-Mrx. B!ngo told me that he went
out on little periodical frequently.
Gulie-She doubtless meant the term
In q business sense; Circuit travels
for the weekly Gusher."
First Thespian-Have warm recep-
ton In the last town you played, old
man? Second Thespian--Well. rather.
Papers roasted me. hotel burnt down
with all my clothes. and eleven credit
ors were hot after me all the WHILE
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
He-I am really surprised at DR.,
White. After being our family docto,
for years. and treating me for all sorts
OF things. and to think OF all the money
we've paid him. too! She--What has
he done? He--He wouldn't pass me for
the life insurance company!-fd-B!ts,
Mrs. Ferry (proud!y)-Our pastor Is
going to have special bicycle services
regularly every third Sunday this sum
mer. Mrs. Wallace ,(calmly)-Indeedi
Our church intends giving free base
ball game and prayers for the CONVEX.
sion OF the umpre.-Cincinnatl En-.
Gulrer.
sThe other day a couple OF little girls
came to q physicians Office to be vac.
clnated. One Of them undertook to
speak for the other, and explained;
doctor, this Is my sister. She Is toe
Young to know her left arm from her
right. SO mamma washed both OF