Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-08-05
STRIVING TO PLEASE.
THE ADVANCE AGENT TELLS HOWhls
FRIENDS OBSERVED THIS RULE.


THE ADVANCE AGENT TELLS HOWhls
FRIENDS OBSERVED THIS RULE.
A Manager Of q Pyrotechnic Show Who
Didn't Want to Disappoint His Audi
enoe-A Monument Which Proves That
His Efforts Were Appreciated.
II always strive to please, =" remarked
the dramatic editor, as he scratched the
words "big thing" out of the advance
notice he was writing and substituted
"megatherian aggregation"
Thanks, I am sure" said the ad-
vance agent, as he read over the ten
lines the dramatic critic was giving to
him, and carefully put back into his
pocket the half column notice he had
first drawn on the d. G.
II presume, smiled the d. c., "that
you always strive to please. too. don't
your"
mot always semidisappointed
tone-"but used to have friend who
did. He really was the most self deny
ing chap I ever saw, and what he
wouldn't do to please an audience
wasn't worth doing"
where Is he now?''
Dead"
"Dead?"
eyes, it killed him. TWAS this way:
He was in the pyrotechnic branch Of
the dramatic art and used to give shows
at one Of those imitation Coney Islands
to be found on nearly every sand bar in
nearly v.er river tributary to the Mis-
sissippi. He had been the originator Of
the fireworks feature at this place, and
his phenomenal success had made him
so proud that he would sooner have died
than had failure. One Fourth Of July
he was going to give the grandest dis
play Of his life, and the feature in the
biggest letters on the bill was a set
piece, 100 feet high, with an enormous
balloon loaded with fireworks to go up
from the top as grand finale. There
were ten times as many people there
that night as there had ever been, and
my friend was feeling SO good you could
see 1t in his walk.
Everybody was on edge, too, for the
grand blaze Of glory the management
had been advertising for weeks, and
when, promptly at the hour Of 10
O'Clock, my friend stepped forth like a
peacock to set off the great display with
his own hand there was round Of ap-
plause, followed by dead silence as
the audience sat breathless watching for
the burst Of blazing glory. But some
how it didn't burst. The professor fred
the train and retreated to safe place,
but the powder wouldn t burn. Itfizzled
and went out instead. Once, twice,
thrice, 1t fizzled, sputtered and went
out, and then the crowd began to growl
and guy, as crowds always will, and
the professor began to get wild.
"Several other attempts to set the
piece off were no more successful, and
at last, with smothered scream of
crazy rage. he shot up the ladder of the
tower to its very top, where he had a
platform stored with all sorts of inflam-
mable and explosive things arranged to
go off at the proper time. He stood
there moment silhouetted against the
sky, the crowd indulging in gibes and
jeers, with now and then threat as to
what he might expect if he would only
come down to the ground. This was his
time to show what he could do to please
his audience. and in minute, and be-
fore anybody had any idea what he
would do next, he caught up an armfu1
of the explosives about him, fastened
them to his clothes and hung wreaths
and rings over his neck and shoulders,
and, setting the whole thing afire, he |
swung out into the air in the balloon,
which was already tugging at its anchor.
''As the balloon shot up it was ter
rife sight, and the poor DEVILS shrieks |
added to the intensity Of the scene, al |
ready lurid with red and blue lights, |
while the air was filed with all manner
Of bursting bombs and crashing explo- |
sives. Women tainted, men ran help |
lessly about shouting, and still the bal |
loon swept upward with its fiery freight |
and passenger, until, when it had /
reached a point 900 feet above the
earth, it caught fire and the whole
burning mass shot like blazing ball
straight to the ground.
"You will be safe in betting those
people never saw such an exhibition as
hat before, nor will ever again in all
and when it was over"
the agent, "the audience
'eemed to realize what the professor
lad done TO please them, and they chip
ped in and built hin a monument
where be fell, having OH it, besides his
lame and the proper dates, no other in
cription except He strived to please.
The dramatic critic was at least half
minute i'll recovering his speech after
he recital of this remarkable tale, and
before he could ask any questions the
idvance agent had folded his tent like
circus and stolen away to the office of
he next dramatic critic be had to call
.pon. -Washington Star.