St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1897-03-06

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seen and heard and
learnt and know about the human fam
lily in general. it is now my private and
public opinions that a whole passle of
money is wasted in this country every
year training boys up into ways which
it was never intended for them to go
Ways wherein they amt fitten to go
ways in which they couldn't 60 if they
wanted to, and wouldn't il they could.
Stating the Malnest Facts.
Now in orderment to state the main
est facts Of the case more in full ! will
give you the great common pint which
am drivin at 20 plain till fool-blind
drunk and runnin-mought read.
There wss Tom Dick Simpkins. which
run for the legislature the first time l
was , candidate and got the livin day
lights beat outen him. Well, when Tom
Dick was yearlin boy at school he
was bright as new money and terrible
smart in his books. He could git his
lessons, 1t did look to me like, more
quicker and easier than any boy in the
school and always stood pat at the head
Of his class. II he went foot like this
mornin be would spell up to head in
side Of three days without half tryin.
So consequentially about this time old
1Ean Simpkins took up fool notion to
the extent that Tom Dick was smart
enough to 60 to congress or run for
governor, and with that he give it out
amongst the neighbors that he was go
in to spend money like water runnin
down hill on that boy and make big
lawyer 0uten him. So then Tom Dick
he lit in and run through the Cross
Roads school as quick and easy as q
heavy dost Of salts, and the next news
We got from him he was off and gone
to college. He went right on holdin his
own with the best and smartest boys
that the country could bring forth md
there want anything in the college that
could set him back or turn him down.
He made . smashin good record. and at
the finish he come down under the wire
first, winnin the race like deer in a
walk.
In the mainline old man Simpkins
was blowin his money in on Tom Dick
like It was CROWN on the trees. and II
II % happened that he couldn't drop
his wad fast enough he could always git
plenty Of help from that smart and
promisin boy. After comm through
college with high and mighty furry.
Tom Dick soon got to be q lawyer. hung
out his sign accordin and lit in to build
up . big name and fame and let the
whole entire discovered world hear
from the Simpkins family.
But oomehow or other the world
went waggin along at the reglar old
lick and tho natives they wouldn't
startle any to speak Of. Old man Simp-
kins had fixed the nest and set the eggA.
but BY gracious, the chickens didn't
hatch any 1t all hardly. He had built
the mill and laid the rocks, but some
how the ding thing jest wouldn't grind.
and It didn't make blame bit of differ
ence how he turned the water on. What
vas the matter with Tom Dick? The
good Lord only knowslI don't He
went 70 far in fine style and shape. and
then al Of student like he come down
to dead halt II you was to 60 and ask
Andy Lucas. the great horse trader.
what was the matter with Tom Dick
more than probable he would tell you
that 'sthe youngster had too much day
light under him and they didn't put no
packs in his feet" And reckon no
doubts Blev Scroggins, the most swift
est man with the documents" around
Rocky Creek would tell you that the
mainest trouble with Tom Dick was
he thought he was smart enough TO
come into the game with nary pair and
win the pile" But rs for me. I don't
know for certain what was the mat
ter with that boy. ] do but only know
that old man Simpkins sailed in and
spent = big pile Of his money bringin
up Tom Dick in way that he wouldn't
70 and couldn't 60 and didn't 60. After
piddlin and fumblin and foolin around
considerable. maxim out like he was \
lawyer and dabblin in politics here and
there; he finally a4 last stewed down
and petered out and quit
Hsw to Pick wianse
Now there was an old man, Cas- Gar
ner-which he was one Of the mighty
few men I ever met up with that
could say he brurg up boy in the way
he wanted him to 60. and the boy went
Al.x ->v Ruk old man Gas Was dead