Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-06-17
"DoT RIsoocLE."
some Sage Observations BY Herr
n 81


some Sage Observations BY Herr
Pfunxheimer.
Speaking of bisoocles, hat gathered
some superstootions vich will gif to
der fraternity SO dat dey may be warned
by time in, airetty, yust like desc:
1t is sure sign of death by drownd-
Ing II veelman passes Ply an open draw
bridge.
To be chased by large, open-faced
bulldog is sure sign dot der veelmans
will got his goff soxings tored up by his
legs on.
If you see small boy buying baper
of tax it foretells q puncture Ply der
near future in.
If veelman pass von-eyed man rid
ing horsepack Ply von-eared mool on
und dot veelman doan'd say: "Squid-
dledevinklevinks" tempt times he will
meet up Ply an accident right away
qvick.
If your wife sends you Ply an errand
orid und you forget all abouid it und
go by your veel for spin on it it is
sign dot your dinner will be cold for
several two or tree days.
To sit down suddenly Ply der cold,
cold ground onis sign of disappoint.
ment und severe pains.
If you buy bisoocle suit for zwei
dollars und got caught by rainstorm
ouid it is sure sign dot you will hav
to go home by a barrel in.
To ride any distance close ply dot
elevated roads under is sign dot you
will got your bisoocle clothes unfit for
publications.
To ride ofer large hole Ply der street
in is sign dot somebody will had to
call der ambulance.
Make a wish ven you pass q load OF
empty barrels und it will come true.
If it doan'd yust hunt up dot man vot
he own dem barrels und told him vot
you thinks of him alretty once.
If you stub your right toe ind your
left knee und der back of your head all
py der same times it is a sure sign dot
dem Adirondax mountains have
stopped your veel from going any fur.
der.
If you break loolling-glass vile ouid
riding py your bisoocle on it is sign
dot you hat left der street and hal
climbed Ply furniture wagon inside,
ain'd it?
If der lamp Ply your veel on goes ouid
it is sing dot you will get Ply con.
versations in nit a policemans.
To drop your veel und climb py
hurry up in under barb wire fence
IS sign dot bull is chasing you.
To see der new moons Ply your right
shoulders Offer is a sign of good luck.
but ven you see der new moon und zwei
million stars all Ply heap in it is sign
dot your bisoocle have stopped sudden.
ly ind has fired you Ply rock und your
head on, ain'd it?
If veelmans he is getting SIS week
und he pays 500 cash for bisoocle il
is sure sign dot he will not go Ply dersea
shores dis summer, vot you don'd
thinks?
Ven your sweetheart doan'd want no
more ices cream und says dot you
should safe up your moneys und be
economical it is sure sign dot you will
hat to buy tandems built for zwei
right away qvick purity soon.
If you pass TELEGRAPH pole it is sigL
dot you will got home in time for sup
per.
1t is pad omen to hat your tire road
house in ven you are t'irsty.
1t is unlucky to meet der cowcatcher
by an express train on ven you are
going Offer a railroads crossing.
1t is a bad omen to have your tire
punctured by meat ak.
1T is unlucly to ride Offer precipices.
1t is sure sign dot dare is field near
py ven you run Ply stone fence into
N. Y. World.