Greenbrier independent. [volume] (Lewisburg, Va. [W. Va.]) 1859-1980, 1897-07-15
With the Doctor.

"A former reverend luminary of
Edinburgh, an English paper tells
us, as famed for his claret-drinking
powers as for his great abilities, had
a crOny of the name of H., with
whom he was fond of spending the
whole night in convivial tete.a-
, tete. His constant apology to his
wife, on returning home from these
drunken bouts, was that he had
been with that good and holy man,
DIR. -. The lady made no Sc
crct to her friends Of the eXcesses
into which her husband was led by
the reverend gentleman, and the cir
cumstances coming to the ears of the
doctor, he resolved to take pleasant
revenge on II. for the scandal. The
next time they were seated at q tav-
ern, over bottle of claret, with the
intention of sitting it out, as usual,
the doctor pretended, all of q sudden,
to recolleCt some business of an Off
cial nature which he must go about
Immediately.
However," said he, it won't
detain me long, SO do you remain
here till l return. In the meantime
replenish your glass and stir up the
! fire.n
Away went the dOctor-not, how
ever, about any official business, but
directly to tho house of MIR. ii.
Is Mr.. II. at home ?"
"No, sir.n
"Is Mrs. II. at homer"
Yes, sir.n
DIR. is compliments, and he
would be happy to wait on her."
The doctor was immediately ush-
cred into the presence of the lady,
who received him with degree Of
constrained politeness, the meaning
of which he was at no loss to COM
prehend.
$50, madam, said the doctor,
"Mr. H., / find is not at home 2"
mo, doctor; but now that you
are hero, l'll answer for it that he'll
be home soon enough"
Well, madam" replied the doc
dor, affecting not to feel the point of
her observation, cit is a long time
since L have seen Mr.. H., and as
want very much to speak with him
about little matter of importance,
/ shall wait little"
From the seriousness with which
this was said, the lady began to sus-
pect that her husband must have
been taking some liberties with the
DOCTORS name, in his drunken apollo
gies, and, in a kindlier tone, she in
Vited the doctor to stay to supper,
by which time she hoped and trusted
and had no doubt but Mr.. III. would
return home. Nothing, the doctor
said, would give him more pleasure,
for, luckily, he had an hour to spare
that night, which, so many were his
avocations, was but rarely the case.
Supper-time came, but still no Mr..
III. appeared. His good lady could
not imagine what had become of
him; the doctor suggested Il hun
dred friendly apologies. The hour
of eleven at length arriving, later
than which, as the doctor gravely
affirmed, he never stayed from
home, rose to depart, begging Mrs.
III. to inform her husband how anx-
ious he was to see him, and how
long he had waited for him.
The doctor now fastened to the
taN ern, made many excuses to II.
for leaving him so long alone, and,
to make up for lost time, piled the
bottle so hard that ere daybreak he
sent the babbler home more fuddled
than he had ever parted with him
before.
!, Where have you been, YOU
drunken sOt?" exclaimed the of
Tended wife.
III. hiccoughed out, as usual:
Where-where have / been p
Why, don't you know, my love :
With that good, holy man, DR.. -
"Oh, fie! fie! Mr.. H." rejoineC
the honest woman; show dare yor
max sic use o. that godly man.
name? WIZ you, indeed? Ma, ma
f guide man, nor wiz ony like you
3 That story'll wont do ony langer Nv,
tand you out at last, sir. ~The docto
supped here tonight, and has n;
seen you the - knows when.n
In vain did II. protest, as intelli
gibly as he could, how true he spoke
!, !, the lady knew better than to believ
word he said.
Next morning, when III. began t
q collect his scattered senses, he easil,
, perceived the trick which the docto
q had played off on him but rathe
than betray so worthy an associate
q he chose to remain silent. An,
ever after, instead of being salute
with Where have you been, yo
n drunken sot ?" his good wife woul
: bawl out, in tone of high derisior
/. So, Mr.. H., Vith the doctor as usua
3 l SUPPOSE"
BORDER JUsTICE.-Judge Ro
Bean, OF Langtry, Tex, declare
j. that he is the law west of the p,
u cos" Leslie's Weekly tells an ane,
@ dote told of him when he sat 6
= coroner, and held an inquest on tn
body of man who had met vi,
/. lent death by falling from the gre,
. railway bridge that spans the Pect
River. An examination shove
- that the man had revolver an
=. forty dollars in cash in his pock,
70 when he was killed. After swea
- ing in jury, and looking over III
p, effects of the dead man, Judge Bea
- said;
,f " Gentlemen of the jury, the
t. amt no doubt how this man came
,f death; that's all plain; but VIII
r L would like to know is why i'm q
ID name of thunder he carried that gu
re- Now, gentlemen, it's ag'in' the la
,e ofthe State of Texas, and jist becau
this gentleman took it into his he;
to get killed, l don't mean to let hi
in offend the peace and dignity
rs Texas. L fine him forty dollars" ="