New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-05-09
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

"Will YOU allow me to stand?" asked a man In
! an English railway carriage already containing the
! specified number Certainly not exclaimed
man occupying n seat. las you are the
only person Directing to my presence, replied tho
I gentleman, Il shall remain here Then snail
| call the guard and have you removed said the
| aggreyed passenger getting up and putting his
| head ovt of the window The newcomer saw his
| opportunity and slipped into the vacant seat
! whats up?" said the guard, appearing at the
door Zone over the number" replied the new
| conner You must come out; the trains going.
! and without waiting for further explanations, the
| guard pulled out the amazed passenger, who was
left wildly gestculating on the platform
Reasonng.-Mrs watts-My husband won about
500 at poker night before last
Mrs Potts-How do you know J.. .
me fifteen. "-(lndianapos Journal
John D. Sanborn, of Acton. Me-. lives In the
house where he born seventy-four years ago
lie has never failed to vote at State or National
election since he attained his majority. has always
attended the Congregational Church with equai
regularity and for thrtyseven years or since Its
esta enlistment has visited the Acton agricultural
fair each day in every Of its seasons. Perhaps
the thing he is most proud OF is the fact that he
never used tobacco intoxicating liquors OF any
kind
did l understand you 70 say that you didn't
have any company in the Kitchen while was OUT
"Yis. mum; that's what said"
But | smell the tobacco from pipe all through
"Yis, mum: the policeman was in for half an
hour. mum: but we were in the parlor. "-(Yonkers
Statesman
THE Bozeman CMont) Chronicle" tells OF n
Montana legislator who when corrections
in spelling and grammar In his bill were called to
his attention by the committee. said: why. you
fellows have mucilated it, 1t was the same
statesman who said. in addressing committee OF
,,..1l clio -
politics was the bowlder upon which the law was
split in twain. and fell In thousand pieces from
the pedro Of justice. Let us, then. gear up our
lions, that we can go forth with clear head
THE MODERN MAID.
She rides bicycle of course, in boomers or In
At tennis and at golf alike she's cassed with the
She pulls an oar almost we'll her big brother
And drives horse as skilfully IL she were a
She knows lot too--Greek and things that she
She paints and plays the mandolin, and talks real
She dances like an angel-you know how angels
dance,-
Ard countless more accomplishments her natural
charms enhance. A., - . .
She's most attractive IN n ~ord' the very sort OK
To make young man crazy and set his brain
She even knows her mother says. just how to keep
Bonneville Journal
The Parish Council Of Langley. Slough,
England has received an application from
woman for the post OF slaughter house inspector
NJ the town OF Colnbrook. under their Jurisdiction.
sho was recommended by two local residents as
well qualified the post. but The Council pre-
ferred TO reappont the present male inspector. In
the adjoining parish Of liver woman has acted
registrar and vaccination officer for several years
with the greatest success.
Easy Proof-Prospective Purchaser-You say
he's a savage Watchdog
Owner-Yes, indeed
Prospective Purchaser-But how am I 10 know
Owner-Try I'm: les go outside with me, and
climb In at that winder!-(Chicago Record
The 2sOh anniversary OF the landing OF the first
permanent English colony in America will be cele
brated at jamestown. Va. on May 10. Among the
features of the celebration will be a sautatory In
Latin by II. H. Tucker. Of Danville an address on
'The Genesis OF the Colony" by l.. II. Warren. OF
Williamsburg; another on THE Establishment Of
the Colony" by ]. II Parker. OF Portsmouth, and
one on 1.-THE Government OF the Colony" by j. NJ.
White, OF Charlotte County Roosevelt Page OF
Richmond, will be the poet OF the occasion. The
celebration will be under the auspices OF William
and Mary College.
Mothers Guile.-"Mother." said Mrs smarton.
says the smell OF stale tobacco makes her sick"
"Ah' said Mr.. Smarton. filling his pipe.
80 she has concluded, she says, that she VIII
stay until she gets used to II, II Il takes her all
eanamer." -dndianapolis Journal.