Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1897-02-19
MR.. BOWSER Bull led
hE WAS LOOKING FOR TROUBLE AND
SOON FOUND IT.

He WAS LOOKING FOR TROU6lE AND
SOON FOUND nc.
when He Started Ont on the vvarpAth
His wife Met Him Half Way and Alads
His Hair stand ON End "A Little Exssl-
% lent Advice. ~ III
The feelings Of the average husband an
easily be detected by the average wife as
he returns home at night. Mr.. Bowser
hadn't opened the gate the other evening
! when Mrs. Bowser drew a long breath and
prepared for a thunderstorm. Things were
wrong with him, and he showed II by the
way he wore his hat, by tho SLOUGH Of his
shoulders, by the squint Of his eyes, by the
kick he gave the gate as he reached Ii He
saw her in the hall as he opened the door,
but he got out of his Overcoat and flung
down his hat without noticing her. Like
q Diplomatic woman, she took no notice of
his conduct, and, though he growled and
prumbled over the dinner, she prevented
his breaking loose. When the meal was
finished, however, Mr. Bowser could hold
in no longer. He stood In the middle of
the sitting room and looked around for an
excuse to begin the business OF the even
ing. 1t took him three or four minutes to
find one, but he finally noticed that caster
had dropped out Of the leg Of a chair, and
he led off with:
$50 you've been at it again, have youi'
'At what?' she quietly asked
"At smashing up the furniture with a
crowhar! 1t isn't enough that the roof
leaks, half the windows are broken, the
doorknobs all off, but you must seek to
1.SAV cr1> nf <k>n<S hnAn
will your
~ see the chair. One Of the casters is
out"
sAnd how did it come out?' he shouted.
.You probably spent half the afternoon
whacking away at that chair with crow
bar: club or slcdge hammer! Why didn't
you smash it to kindling wood? Why
didn't YOU clear out the room and be done
with itP If there's another house In
America r. ~ 0
"Mr Bowser, don't speak to me that
way" she exclaimed rs she rose up. II
know what you were going to say, but just
let me tell you that this house is run all
right-as right as any other in America
AS to the chair, you flung yourself down
upon it the other night and broke it, and
it's your business to make repairs or send
it away ....&
"You-you are speaking to meP" he
stammered as his eyes opened very wide
Speaking right to you, Mr.. Bowser.
am not in the habit of talking to the walls
or the furniture. Please sit down while /
talk to you" '.- #
"Woman-do-do"- 55
''That's all right. Mr.. Bowser. Sit
down. Now then, there are no leaks In
the roof of this house. If there arc, then
you caused them by going up and cutting
through the tin with an az. Not q zane
Of glass is broken, not q doorknob of, not
o piece Of furniture out Of repair except
that chair Something went wrong with
you today, but you must either change
your tune at once or put on your hat and
take walk. N3
.Wh-what! You talk that way to me-
to your husband?" howled Mr.. Bowser as
he leaped to his feet and his hair stood up.
BE calm, Z she replied "a wife has5all
the rights husband has In this country
and one OF her rights is to talk. You
didn't seem to like the steak at dinner, and
I noticed you making up a face over your
coffee. It was fine steak, Mr.. Bowser,
and the coffee was excellent. However, II
you can do better at cafe l have no OBJ
iections. Perhaps it would be as we'll for
you to secure board elsewhere for week
or two." ~ a@5. q
Mr.. Bowser sat down. He sat down be-
cause his head whirled, and he was Won
dering where he was at. ~ -. Il
( "You complain about things being bro
KEN" she continued. Nothing Is ever
broken except by you. You go slashing
around like u rhinOcerOs turned loose, and
it's wonder we have whole piece OF fur
niture in the house. If the doorknobs
were not on to stay, you'd have slammed
them off long ago. You broke your glasses
in trying to get one off the buffet the other
night, and this morning you managed to
pull two handles off your dresser and drag
one Of the window curtains down. Nice
sort of a man you are to talk about my
using sledge hammers and crowbars!
She heard gurgling, gasping sound
from the direction of Mr.. BOwser and
glanced that way to note his bullying eyes
and red face and open mouth.
"The other night we had little differ
enca If opinion she said as she turned
away. '.Because differed with you you
cot IN and tramped around the room and
said it was no wonder that husbands were
driven to drink and to spend their even
inps in saloons When you see fit to take
to drink, Mr.. Bowser, don't stop to con-
suit me. just go off and get drunk, and
il I find you on the doorstep IN throw
bed Quilt over you to keep the frost out.
have heard that saloons are very attractive
places If you prefer them to your home,
60 ahead, and you needn't be in any hurry
about getting home"
4 That was Mrs. Bowser talking; but,
though she was sitting in . chair, she
seemed to Mr.. Bowser to be whirling round
and round. His eyes blurred, and there
was . lump In his throat, and he hardly
breothed as he waited for her to go on
a II want some money for . new hat,
gloves and hosiery, and want 1t right
away asked you last week, and you
aid you were hard up, though you brought
home q 80 box Of cigars that same night.