The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-07-28
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
Shell always preferred June
weddings. He-Yes. Howmanyhaye
Eyou had?
- Many paupers have lived to be-
100 years old, but there is no3record
ola millionaire having attainedthat
age.
~ George-Is your father . banker?
Maud-No; why? George-Nothing,
only your little brother seems tosbeja
teller.
- Fred-''He married the girl
was engaged to-" Arthur-sWell3
don't worry. You'llget OVERT before
he does" "a
~ BroWne-But he has lost one leg
and both arms. How did she eper
come to fancy him. Towne-Hes
remnant.
-ASpanish inventor renders from
grasshoppers a fatty substance which
is declared to make the finest soap yet
produced.
~ William g. Ussery, N. D. ,ofS Sc.
Louis, says that the best food for
those suffering from typhoid fever is
the banana.
- The letter ttI'' in the Chinese
language has d45 ways Of being pro-
nounced, and each pronunciation hast
a different meaning.
How often do you kill man''
asked a passenger Of a. New London
motormanthe otherday. @0nlyonce
was the laconic reply. 81:
- Boston millionaire, who re.
Gently died, made provision that his
wife should receive each year exactly
her own weight in pure gold.
This milk tastes asjif il was
watered,'' said Mr.. Bronson.
know it is, papa said Tommy.
saw the COW taking a drink myself
- A6-year-old was seatedina bar:
ber's chair. "Well, my little man
how would you like your hair cut
sob, like papa's, with little round
hole at the top. 8
- Watts-My pastor insists that
the bicycle is an invention Of the
devil. Potts-Well, it is mighty hard
TO keep in the STRAIGHT and narrow
path on one Of them.
-ssMy wife is a most original Wos
man." said Brown. why, wihenI
proposed to her, instead of s.ying,
This is so sudden 81 said, ell,
think it's about time.
~ Mrs. Watts-You must End this
out Of door life rather pleasanl.
Weary Watkins-Oh, the out Of door
part Of il. is all right. It is the out d
grub end of it I don't like.
~ Jinks-The idea Of asking ms
what I'd dol f / wasricht The questsil
is simply idiotic. Filkins-Why So
| Jinks-Because any one in his right
mind would know that I would do
nothing.
- When q boy walks with girl all
though heswere afraid someone WOULD
see him, the girl is his sister. If ht!
walks so close to her as to nearly
crowd her against the fence, she Isl
til sister Of some n else.
-"Hello," exclaimed Tommy,
"there goes one Of them lorseless
carriagesl" "Where 2" shouted Aunt
Maria, rushing to the window: why,
right cross the way, aunty. Don't
you see that it is drawn by mules.
"You told me this horse had
won half a dozen matches against some
Of the best horses in the country: He
can't trot a mile in six minutes to-
save him." "It was in blowing
matches that he took the prizes, sir.
- There is q negro mar working.
near Dublin, Ca, who says he isone
Of 40 children by one mother. He
says his mother was married four
times, and gave birth to ~ boys and
10 girls in North Carolins, and is yet
living.
- There are 250, 600 words in the
English language, and most of them
were used on Sunday by a woman who
discovered after coming out of church
that her new hat was adorned with q
tag on which WAS written, Marked.
down to $l.98."
R. D. Green, a negro orator OF
Bradford, Pa, says that he can prove
by the Scriptures that Adam and Eve
were both black and that when Cain
killed Abel the Lord put a mark on
Cain, and that mork was a white skin.
Ever since that interesting incident
Gains descendants have been white
folks.
-"May I ask what is going on in
the village p inquired the obseryant
stranger. "We're celebratin' the;
birthday of the oldest inhabitant, sir
replied the native. "She'sa 101 to-
day, SIR" Sand tell me, pray, who
is that little man with the dreadfully
sad c%ountenance who walks by the old
lady's side ?" "That's her s%on-in-law,
sir. He's been keepin' up her life
insurance for tn last ~ years.
= At last the English sparrow has
found a champion and defender.
"There is no longer any doubt about
the mission of the little pestiferous
English sparrow" says DR.. Miles of.
Marion, S. G. The doctor says he
has four acres of tobacco near his
barn, where the birds nestle, the.
worming of which has not cost him
anything this year. These little birds:
do this work free Of charge-for the
love and affection they have for the
worms and with which they feed their
young. He claims that there we're
four acres more of from the. house,
and out Of the reach Of the birds,
which had to be Wormed oncea week