davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Some curious figures have lately
been made public by celebrated Ber.
lin physician, which seem to point TO
the fact that If man wants to live
long and preserve his health and
strength he ought to marry. Among
unmarried men between the ages of 30
and 45 the death rate is twenty seven
per cent. Among married men be-
tween the same ages it is only eighteen
per cent. For forty-one bachelors who
live TO be 40 years of age seventy-eig
married, men triumphantly arrive at
the same period. The difference gets
all the more marked as time goes on.
At 90 years of age there are only twen-
ty-two bacAslors to forty-eight married
men; at 20, there are eleven bachelors
to twenty-seven who are married; and
by the time they reach 90 the married
men are three to one, for there are nine
of them to every three bachelors.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

4 Misplaced Simile-whcn 1t is Rude
An Impossible Combination-Murde
the Queens Own-The Old, Old Deiu
sion-ChalIenged Generalization. Etc
to the florist one day went
And ordered quite lot of roses
And to my love had them sent
With verses like swain composes.
Her cheek was to the rose compared
U'm quite a clever fellow
But none of this the florist knew
The rose he sent was yellow.
The Cornell Widow.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
A Simple Fire Extinpuisber.

Hand grenades, the simplest form of
ire-eXtinguisher can be made at home
sheaply and easily. And it is well to
nave at hand simple contrivance for
extinguishing n small fire at its start.
Take twenty pounds Of common salt
and ten pounds of sal ammoniac mi
rate of ammonia, to be had of any
druggist, and dissolve in seven gal
ons of water. Procure quart bottles
Of thin glass, such as are ordinarily
nsed by druggists, and fill with this,
sorking tightly and sealing, to prevent
evaporation.
In case of fire throw SO as to break in
Or near the flame. If the fire is in such
place as to prevent the bottle from
breaking. as in wool or cotton. knock
Off the neck and scatter the contents.
The breaking of the bottle liberates
4 certain amount of gas, and the heat
Of the fire generates more thus work
ing its own destruction.
Whenever you see man visiting a
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
Curative of Bad Temper.

"When the little girl is naughty"
says Miss Jessie NJ. Fowler, giving
mother directions for curing her small
daughters bad temper, put on her
best gown, and you will see that she
cannot withstand its influence"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

If so. secure one of the latest and prettiest
Two-Steps of the day by mailing Ten Cents
silver or stamps to cover mailing and most.
age. to the undersigned for a copy of the
BIG FOUR TWO-STEP." Mark envelope
"Two-Step.'D We are giving this music
which is regular fifty-cent sheet music, at
this exceedingly low rate, for the purpose OF
Advertising and testing the value of the diff.
erent papers as advertising mediums.
j.. O. MCCORMICK,
Passenger Traffic Manager
big Four Route" Cincinnati O.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
The Old. Old DeIusion.

Darling" he whispered, sit costs
no more to keep two bicycles in repair
than one."
Love is eternal; its illusions, even,
are rautable only in respect of their
terms. Detroit Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

II wish you would get your wife to
throw her influence for me-" said the
woman who was running for Office in
the Woman's Club; I'm sure it would
have some effect
eyes, was the thoughtful reply; IT
know when she's ever thrown anything
OF me it's been effective"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

"We are willing" said the practical
politician, ito trust to the intelligence
and honesty Of the average American
citizen"
"Yes," replied Farmer Corntossel,
"but that amt the question. What
the average American citizen wants to
know is whose intelligence and honor
he is going to trust in. n."-Washington
Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
"She's surely older than that?"
Selling State Domain.

The State domain of France, valued
at $700,O00,O00, and consisting Of
palaces, public buildings, forests, ETC.,
is in great measure unproductive, and
it is proposed to sell $50. 900, 900
worth of it and put the money into the
navy.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

''She saved the whole family from
drowning once"
''Indeed She must be an Amazon. !"
ooh, no; she simply dressed so slow
ly that they all missed the boatr-
Chicago Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
Brave Action of an American Consul.

y
special. New York Sun.
Brave Action of an American Consul.
Since Mr.. Carl Decker's good right,
guided by his cool, courageous head,
and backed by the journal, accom-
plished what diplomacy and humani-
ty failed to do, stories of valorous
deeds of rescue are being revived
everywhere. One of them is the story
of Colonel Madden, Consul to Smyrna.
1t was about this time last year,
and the Turks and Kurds and Druses
were numbering the Christians in all
directions. While the storm was still
brewing the Rev. j. H. Wiley and
other American missionaries stationed
in Smyrna were watched by the Turks,
but having fear of the United States
frigate Marblehead, lying in the har-
Dor, they left the missionaries alone
and confined their attentions to their
neophytes and catachumens. Finally
they arrested number of these, de-
spite the protests of Mr.. Wiley and
his friends, and lodged them in Jail.
The missionaries declared that the
catachumens were either American
citizens or their children and were I'M
der the protection of the United States.
The proper, time-honored thing to
do, of course, would in the first in
stance have been to go and pay down
so many sequins as ransom; but the
missionaries were not wealthy enough
for this, and even if they had been their
democratic instincts forbade them.
Nevertheless, time was moving on,
and the Moslems gathered in greater
force in front of the Jail each day.
They were simply thirsting for blood.
Colonel Madden" said the Rev.
Mr.. Wiley, in desperation, ''the situ-
alton is horrible! Our Minister in
Constantinople does not seem to have
any say in the matter. What shall we
do?"
''I think I know what's to be done,"
replied the Consul, who is o Grand
Army man and six feet two in his
stocking feet, and, SO saying, he went
to the nearest hardware store andpu
chased an AK for an American dollar.
Throwing the ak over his shoulder he
moved toward the Jail, followed by q
crowd composed of men of all nation
alities, who wondered what was going
to happen.
"Open the door," demanded the
American Consul of the jailer, "and
release Nazarano Demetros and others
claiming protection of the United
States Government.
The jailer grinned behind his bars,
when 10! the ak descend ded, and the
front of the wooden building was
soon i'll splinters.
'Goodl" cried Missionary Wiley,
with tears in his eyes. Here's war
veteran with nerve and backbonel"
And now the missionary element all
over Asia Minor wants Colonel Mad
den kept in his place, though he is
Democrat and an appointee of Grover
Cleveland.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

The Count haf been told,
madame, your daughtaire haf ze bad
tempaire."
The Mamma--"Ah, yes, count, but
you know she loses her temper so
easily"
The Count-"Ah, how yl'--De-
troit journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Instructor-''W is it that gives
to the blood its bright red color?"
Little Miss Thavnoo-'I know. It's
the corpuscles. But ours amt red.
They're blue. Mamma says so. -
Chicago Tribune.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Crimsonbeak- ''You have heard the
trembling voice of the blushing bride
at Hymen's altar?"
Yeast-"Oh, yesl'
'Well, isn't it difficult to associate
it with the one you hear in the airshaft
calling to her husband to bring up the
coal?"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Mr.. Younglove-"What do you do
when your baby gets sick at night?"
Mr.. Oldpop-'T generally lie still
and wait to see if my wife isn't going
to get up and attend to it."-Chicago
News,
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

"What is rude awakening, pa?"
"Well, it is an awakening before 8
o'clock in the morning. - Chicago
Record.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

''The child" said the shoe clerk
boarder, SIS father to the man"
"Oh, not always" said the Cheerful
Idiot. Sometimes it is a girl. In
dianapolis Journal.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

We have not been without Piso's Cure for
Consumption for 20 years-LIzzIR FERREL,
Camp ST., Harrisburg Pa, May 4, 1894.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

He-'My friend is opposed to every
thing English"
She-"Yes, L noticed that in his
conversation. ;"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

He--"Do You know, what I like
about your sister is the way she looks
you straight in the face when she's
talking to you
She-''Yes, she has an awfully bad
profile"
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

The Smithsonian Institute has just
come into possession of the Hallett
Phillips collection of Indian imple
ments and antiquities from the Poto-
mac Valley.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

ats hard" said the menagerio
lion.
whats hard?" asked the kanga-
roo.
''To be starved when I'm alive, and
stuffed when l m dead. Pick Me Up.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
Regret.

did your railway make money!"
"No," replied the promoter; 1--WE
wouldn't let we'll enough alone"
''There was chance of its being
profitable, then2"
eyes; but we weren't satisfied with
selling stock. We had to 60 ahead
and try to build the road. Washing
ton Star.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Mrs. Longstreet is in Atlanta making
a strong fight for the office of State
Librarian, and so are about dozen
other candidates. all men.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
A LETTER TO WOMEN.

A few words from Mrs. Smith, of
Philadelphia, will certainly corroborate
the claim that Lydia L. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound is woman's ever
reliable friend.
II cannot praise Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound too highly.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Fits permanently cured. No fits or nervous
meas after first days use of DR.. Kline's Great
Nerve Restorer. 81 trial bottle and treatise free
Dr. X. FL. KLINE. Ltd. 98l Arch St.. Phila.. Pa.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

to the first platform of the baggage
car. The fireman had crawled down
over the coal into the cab before they
got to Rawlins. His right wrist was
broken, and the brakeman's right hip
was broken. That was practically all
the damage that was done, except
some bullet holes in the cars. 1t just
happened that not a passenger was hit.
They were mighty frightened lot
that got to Rawlins. If it hadn't been
for the GOODNESS and quickness of the
brakeman the probability is that the
thieves would have got the money in
the express car, as we'll as the valua-
bles of the passengers. That was just
about as nervy as it would have been
to try to wreck and rob the Buffalo
special. New York Sun.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Clear Understanding at the Start.
Landlady-Haye you young man,
Bridget?
Seryant-No'm. He's older'n | be-
Boston Courier.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

one pound of Indian tea will make
40 strong cups of tea.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

''Wlly?"

| "Dauber can't be much of an
artist"
HWhyoo
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

"How old would you guess her
to be?"
"Oh, about twenty-five would be a
safe guess"
"She's surely older than that?"
"I said twenty-five would be safe
guess. 1t is always safer to under
guess woman's age. She may hear
of it. indianapolis Journal
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
To Cure A Cold in One Day.

Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. All
Druggists refund money If it fails to cure. 25c.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

'He seems to be n good business
man. ."-Clevelan Leader.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

whenever you see a man visiting a
chiropodist there is something on foot
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23

Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Freeland tribune. (Freeland, Pa.) 1888-1921, 1897-12-23
SHREWD INVENTORS! Do %

II .o1s a'''s5ss ssss %sH n.e Thsmpson's Eye Wate
The herald., 1897-06-06
Col. Smolenski

Colonel Smolenski. the commander Of
the only Greek brigade which repulsed
the Turks, and who at Reveni and Vel
estino was able to inspire his men
with confidence and courage, has been
described as Bavarian by race. His
real name is Constantine Smolentz and
he comes (says the London Chronicle)
of a Dalmatian stock. His father took
part in the war of independence. set
tied at Athens, and married Greek
lady His two sons both adopted a mill
tary career, for which they were edu-
Gated partly at home, partly in France
and Belgium. Constantine is the
younger Of the two. and besides possess
ing strategical abilities of a high order.
he is endowed with great physical
courage. 1t is related of him that q few
years ago he had to visit Germany for
the purpose of undergoing severe sur
gical operation. The doctors were PRO-
ceeding to administer an anaesthetic, but
SmolentS would have none Of it. "Chlor-
oform," he exclaimed. lis only fit for
women" and while the knife was be-
ing used he said. go on, gentlemen n, .
as coolly as though he were q mere
spectator, nor did single expression, of
pain escape him during the most trying
moments
The herald., 1897-06-06
Gen. Grants Early Horsemanship.

The following story was told by Col.
Green, classmate of Gen. U. 8.
Grant at West Point:
"One day. when the members Of
Grants class were called out for drill
on horseback there were not enough
horses by one to go around. Grant
was one of the shortest men in his class
consequently was on the extreme left
of the company, and he was the one for
whom there was no horse. The officer
ordered horse brought which was
done The animal was vicious brute,
which had proved SO unmanageable
that he had been discarded. The officer
in charge did not notice the horse until
just as young Grant vaulted into the
saddle. when. horror stricken, he ora
dered him to disgnount. The horse did
his, part to assist his rider to obey the
order. but Grant drove his spure into the
sides of the infuriated. plunginS,
kicking, boiling brute. and guided him
into an open field, where he gave such
an exhibition Of amateur horsemanships
az no member OF that class had ever be-;
fore Witnessed. Before the conkeSt wac
ended the horse was thoroughly subs<
dued. and from that time hecame :
useful obedient animal, but he WaH'
always ridden BY Grant. Arn6<is1p
Horse BREEDER. ;ssE. = G
The herald., 1897-06-06

NEW YORK
has
to be decided the example Of the
the country who the
loosely
building
which
ship village labor
College the widest New Bruswicks horoush
widest being taken by not only the residents Of New
all the who live the village
college also
could
hcky
applied
building
matter
y
The herald., 1897-06-06

Of the unity and safety Of the state and
nation
Public taxes for public uses only. No
public tax for private benefit
No privileges or favors to any.
"A reference of measures to these prin-
ciples will prevent dangerous departure
from safe line of evolution and pro-
gress.
FRANCHISES
II we take for instance those working
under public franchises, 1t is apparent
that the laws governing franchises
must open these to all. The present laws
do not do this. In fact. there is often q
tendency to protect franchise holders
against competition. This should no
more be considered than the protection
of grocery store by prohibiting the
opening Of another near 1t. So also, as
all franchises partake Of the character
Of privilege, 1t becomes under Democra-
tic doctrine paramount duty to regu-
late the action of franchise holders. A
franchise Is the delegation Of public
function. When the franchise holder is
found to be beyond control there is moth
ing left the state but the resumption
of the power delegated and its conduct
under public control.
THE SPOIL SYSTEM
The particular difficulty of all parties
today is the large duty. time and energy
given to the spoil system of Office hold
ing. We must get rid OF this to clear
the political air so that we can see and
know better what we are doing and
where we are going. Besides the confu-
sion and distraction of this system to
our legislature and administration Of
ficers the system introduces reasons for
appointment to Office foreign to the
duties to be performed. 1t encourages
the creation of more offices than are ne
cessary SO as to provide for claimants
and 1t builds UP and maintains organiza-
tions that call themselves after this or
that party but whose only real object
In politics is salary. privilege or plunder.
While a strict civil service system Is
not absolutely essential to save the
country from this confusing alteration
Of parties for office holding, it is an es-
genital fact at the present time and
while we remain under our heterogene-
GUS. irresponsible and extravagantly in !.
efficient local governments. Many De-
mocrats are deceived in their public ac-
tion by the opinion that local self-gov-
ernment consists in electing all the local
officers Such policy carried to its
logical extreme would require the elec-
| tion of every clerk, laborer policeman,
fireman or employe of the government.
An efficient government requires
clearly defined responsibility and the
power to carry on the public business in
all its departments upon general plan.
Such a government under our local
system is impossible.
THE IDEAL DEMOCRACY.
The New England township system
was the ideal OF democracy. Under this
system the government unit was small
All the voters met in general meeting
examined their officers, elected these
The herald., 1897-06-06
Have I made it clear to

gregating. Have I made it clear to
you?"
Well" The tourist drew a long
breath. "You fellows out here have
theory or an explanation for every
thing. If I should live five hundred
years and then come back to the west
should not be surprised to find the
great arid region, as it is mistakenly
called, peopled by race of red-haired
people, strong, beautiful and brainy.
I'm very much obliged, I'm sure"
And the observant gentleman from;
the east made a few notes in a memo
randum book and started for his hotel.
CHARLES v. BARTON.
The herald., 1897-06-06

al political feeling is weak or absent.
The plan works. Liverpool, Glasgow
and other cities have built their splen
did harbors and have done many other
public acts, such as the construction of
hospitals. water works, street car lines,
ETC.. to the great benefit of the cities.
Still their financial condition is good and
most of these cities are entirely free
from debt Such results invite our at
tention to their general plan.
The herald., 1897-06-06
angels WITH RED HAIR

Can you tell me why there are SO
many people in Los Angeles with red
hair 2"
The speaker was obviously stranger
of the tourist type and of the observant
kind. He travelled with his eyes open.
and when he did not understand any
thing he was not ashamed to ask ques-
tions.
He was talking to an Angeleno. who
was doing the honors, as became good
citizen and courteous host.
II have noticed, ever since 1 have
been in your city" continued the tour
ist, that there are many more people
with red hair to be seen in the streets
than can be observed in an eastern
city Of the same size, and have mar
veled greatly at 1t. And If the red
haired person happened to be lady, she
was usually to be noticed for her good
looks. In fact, according to my read
ing and observation, red hair is a badge
of beauty, and notable for other things
than personal appearances. You may
take the red-haired women Of the world.
from Helen of Troy down to Queen
Elizabeth and Mrs. Langtry, and they
have always made some kind of stir
II it wasn't one thing it was another.
But my tongue has made me lose sight
OF my question. AS I was saying, /
don't understand why there should be
so many red-haired people here"
The herald., 1897-06-06
The Responsibility

Bass-Was that baby talk your wife
was talking as came In
4 ever saw induleed II such gihberish.
norton IranscFipt. i
The herald., 1897-06-06

Mems Fine Scotch Cheviot Pants.
tailor made, extra good quality; regu-
lar price 81. 50. CIl
Our Sale Price ........... Ols4O
Young Mems Extra Fine Atwood
Cashmere Suits, in dark greys and
browns, tailor made, guaranteed not to
rip, Farmer satin lined;reg- 81 1E
ular price So. Our Sale Price. pf.CC
Mems Imported Black Clay Worsted
o-oz Italian lining, silk pip.d, first
class tailor made; regular CO 00
price SIC. Our Sale Price,. 01.11
Ladies' Dress Shoe, made of fair
quality dongola, patent leather tip,
opera toe; regular price $I.45. h0r
Our Sale Price......".......... wv
Ladies' Genuine Dongola Shoes, select.
ed quality, machine sewed, patent
leather tips; regular price q AZ
f.. Our Sale Price.~....... Cl.4O
Ladies' Shoes, made Of fine quality
Dongola, selected quality, patent leath.
er tip; "a good shoe for $2.25. C1 -
Our Sale Price ................. Qlsl u
Ladies' Fine Dongola Oxford Ties,
patent leather tips, square toes, good
everyday wear; regular price 70r
$3.50. Our Sale Price ......... ~
Ladies' Elegant Coin Toe Boots in
the new oxbIood shade, patent leather
trimmed with large buttons and new
lace eyelets, also in black and choco-
late; regular price 81. @ IN
Our Sale Price. ......... QksOV
Ladies' Fine Vici Kid Shoes, In lace or
button, also in Southern Ties, in all
the latest styles and shades. hand
t9Tnes: turn s;,r regular pllas price $500. S1.Q8
Ladies' Shoes. Fine French Kid, Sc
lected from the finest French stock,
hand turned, in latest trimmings,
shapes and toes; regular @ or
price IS. Our Sale Price. pZ.1C
Boys Calf Shoes, a very good quail
ity, sizes from 3 to 6; regular C1 Or
price So. Our Sale Price,. DlsOO
Ladies' Fine Oxfords, in black, choco-
late, oxblood, light tan and all the
leading shades, in the latest style toes;
regular price $2.25. q 40
Our Sale Price ............ Qls4C
Mems Fine French Calf Shoes, very
latest style toe; our regular So and
$3.so shoe. O. 7E
Our Sale Price .......... UkskO
Mems Fine French Calf Shoes, the
celebrated Packard make, very latest
style toe; our regular S. and C11E
5000 shoe. Our Sale Price QOslO
: Very Fine Vici Kid ChiIdren's Shoes,
patent leather tips, cloth or kid uppers,
lace or button, coin or square toes, also
in tans and chocolates, made in Roches-
ter, sizes 5 to s; regular price ST. s., at
this sale $I.oo; sizes 9 to II, regular
price Sr.7s, at this sale 81. "a; sizes IL
! to 2, regular pric: 81, at this sale Sr.48.
Corner Main
and Second .StS.
Los Angeles.