Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1897-12-23
JOHNNY'S FATAL MISTAKE.

This is a true story, and the hero
is now one of the rising young pro-
fessional men in the northwest For
the purpose Of this narrative, how
ever, it will be sufficient to call him
Johnny. 1t was twenty years or more
ago when Johnny's older sister was
to be married. Johnny had heard the
announcement made in the family cir
Gle and had noted the fearful resigna-
ton with which his mother received
the news, for Mary was a good daugh-
ter and a good sister, whose going
would leave a large place vacant in
the household. Then came the weeks
of worry and preparation, with Tile
house topsy-turvy from morning till
night. The total effect upon Johnny's
4-year-old mind was a conviction that
marrying was something serious and
that it SHOULD not be allowed to happen
to his favorite sister if he could help
it. He ascertained that the family
pastor was the man chosen to do the
horrid deed, and as the fatal day APP
preached and he found himself still
poWerless to prevent it, his secret ha-
tired of this good man almost con-
sumed him. 1t was to be a church
wedding, the ceremony taking place
at o'clock. But when the time came
for the family to repair to the church,
Johnny had disappeared, and after a
frantic but hurried search he was
given UP, and the family party left
without him.
In the meantime, as the novelists
say, ''let us see what has become of
Johnny" Filled with apprehension at
the awful fate impending over his IA
vorlte sister, and boiling with impo-
tent rage at the canting old ogre who
had agreed to officiate, he had wan
dered away from home early in the
afternoon and strayed about the town
almlessly, trying to think what should
be done. Just at the edge of dark, the
suggestion of plan came to him, and
acting promptly on it, he went at once
to the church. The main auditorium
was empty and unlocked Johnny
slipped in quietly, and hurrying down
the main aisle crept in under the COM
munion table, where an overhanging
scarf concealed him completely. After
ages of waiting the church was lighted
and rustic told of filing pews. Then
the organ burst out and the bride
could be seen coming down toward the
altar. Soon the bridal party stood be-
fore the rail and the awful moment
had arrived. 1t was before the davz
of marriage ceremonies to the subdued
accompaniment of ooh, Promise Me"
or "Cavalleria Rusticana," and deathly
stiffness reigned. Johnny watched
the proceedings closely through the
fringe of the table scarf, and when he
saw the venerable pastor benignly
raising his hand he knew the time had
come to act. Crawling half way out
from his hiding place right into the
midst of the bridal party, he enunci-
ated in his loudest scream the most
awful threat he could think of:
If you marry Mary, I'll marry you'll
For moment there was the widest
CONSERVATION. The bride emitted q
little shrek of terror, which was fol-
lowed by one of indignation as she
recognized her little brothers features
dark with revenge and CRIME. The
pastor stood as if petrifed, while the
groom found vent for his long sl1D-
pressed feelings in a good laugh. All
over the church people stood up as if
they had just sat down on tacks.
Johnny was finally subdued and
dragged to the family pew in frightful
disgrace, and later in the evening,
when the merry wedding guests were
romping all over the house, there was
one room in which no light shone, and
where the key was turned. Therein
lay Johnny with the awful conviction
of error on his soul, and a continual
reminder of his fatal mistake in the
shape of singing sensation in a GER
tain part of his anatomy.