Marble Hill press. (Marbel [sic] Hill, Mo.) 1881-1923, 1897-06-10

would, it is thought, make human
life possible in restricted district
where vegetation might spring up
in ring around the planets.
Reflections of Hired Man.
Robert J. Burdete, in Inter Ocean.
"All work and no play makes Jack dull
boy" Well, no, my son; not unless Jack is
a dull boy anyhow. Then it doesn't make
much difference whether he works some OF
the time, like hired man, or all Of the time,
like woman. He'll be Gull at any sort Of
work, and stupid at any kind of play.
ga man may smile and be d villain"
True enough. And man may never smile
and continue to be scoundrel just the same.
A coyote wears sort Of eternal grin, and is
not very estimable sort of an animal. The
ass never wears any expression remotely re-
semblng a smile. Nevertheless, he is born
and dies an ass. A baked smile is not an
ornament to the human cauntenance. But it
is to be preferred before cast-iron frown.
You can't help feeling little sorry for the
man who is foolish enough to have his pho
tograph taken with grin on his face. But
even that is more endurable than the picture
of man whose scowling face is libel on the
goodness of the Creator.
My boy, there is some little danger, in
these rushing times of ours, thai man may
undervalue himself. Not very much danger,
but some. A little. know man right in
the next town who considers himself worth
Is cents, when really you couldn't buy him
for less than quarter. Don't undervalue
yourself, son. You may be the only proper
ty you own; average yourself up pretty well
before you sci price on yourself. You have
empty hands, you say? Well, that's good, if
you have full heart; and you say you are
afraid your head is as empty as your hands?
Well, that isn't bad thing at all. Just be
careful what kind of cargo you put into it.
| know plenty of mea, 40 years old and up
ward, who would give big money if they
could empty their heads entirely and select a
new stock But a fellow can only load up
once in this life. And if your hands and
head are empty, just rhink what a splendid
opportunity you have for putting clean,
seas enable, attractive, profitable stock on
your shelves. And this is the only time you
can ever do it, son; the only time. There's
nothing in all this world of business so hard
to get rid of as "unsalable goods" nothing
that sticks in the way Of the business like a
badly selected STOCK. You have the oppor-
tunites Of millionaire, my boy. Now let's
see what you will do with them.
#**
A well seasoned Campaign Lie. feeling
himself rather rudely jostled, lifted its dis
play head expecting to see the ray-shaded
face Of It's own comrade, the Nail Instead
he perceived the scare head of full faced
Minion, who was a stranger
"Get off the grand stand." said the new
conner hercely. "Get off the earth!"
81 can't" replied the Campaign Lie; "l'm
part of it; have to stay within call, for
don't know when l may be needed" Who
are you that take up so much roomG"
81 am the Special from the Greco Turkish
war;" replied the correspondent, land lay
over you with full hand. You are no sooner
uttered until you are nailed, whereas the in
genuity OF man cannot corner me. If | say
that Ushticomboodeo eoh Pasha drove the
Greeks from TarantouoskosmoS with great
slaughter, no man can find name or place in
directory or map. locate bloody battle in
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS pass, and kill Cen
eral besutlerorsumthinlikit, and who
shall contradict mee praise myself in in
terviews with the King and nobody can prove
that the King didn't say what say he said
about me. If | slay in one combat more
Greeks than there are in all Greece nobody
knows any better. BY the time have rela.
ted the story OF three battles, have people
so mixed up that they don't know Greece
from Cuba, or Turkey from Hawaii, and
am safe"
"But," said the campaign Lie, feebly, "no.
body believes you.'
"rhen," said the Special, 81 do no harm
And il is better to be disbelieved at all times
than to be believed for day and then be de.
nounced for measureless liar for month
Get off the Standing Galley"
And he got off, for there is really no room
for politics en- the same page with war dis,
patch that defeats both sides with horrible
slaughter and credits the victors with un.
heard of atrocities in the inhuman treatment
of prisoners, of whom none were taken bu
such as escaped by keeping up with the cor
respondent.
"Boys will be boys" said the overinGulgen
uncle, pleading for his mischievious nephew
But he was mistaken. Boys are boys. Bu
they will be men. Unless the wrath of tht
gods lights upon them; then they will be mng
wumps.
'Where are you going, my pretty fair maid?'
"To the Mothers convention, kind sir" sh,
sayed
'NBut you are no mother, my pretty fair maid;'
"Where there's mothers there's sons, kin,
sir" she sayed.
A writer in the Farmers Friend asks
"What shall we do 10 keep the boys on th
farm?" Well, agriculture is little outstd
this department. but if the inquirer will bu,
farm within few miles of the city. plant al
orchard of ten acres and watermelon patel
of five, this paper will give him reward o
$Io, 900 II he can keep the boys off the farm
| %*%
"Wel, no." Isaiah replied to remark b,
his friend, Amos, ~ never heard Hose
preach, but imagine he would be a power
full man in the pulpit lie came up here wit
a lecture, however, in the Lyceum course las
winter-a funny lecture on 'Sykoodles; OF
'Grump and Goodies, that would just max
you lie down and die a.laughing, He cal
initiate a drunken man trying 10 climb
fence to beat anything you ever saw"
"I'va heard him lecture" said Amos bu
he isn't In the same class with Jonah. Yo
never heard him. lie wenI TO Nneveh an