Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-02-04
CHANGE In GHOST STORIES.

He had been dead for matter OF 112
years. so naturally the place looked
strange to him.
What he now saw had never been a
part of his physical existence, and lie
wondered if it were not best for him to
go back to the graveyard and have a
conference with some fresh corpses who
would know all about those things
which has thus early filled him with
doubts and misgivings. From the new
ly dead one he could obtain information
which might keep him out of trouble.
But, as he calculated upon it, such
action, it seemed to him, would make
him a laughing stock for all the fool
ghosts in the neighborhood. They
would deride him as jay ghost who
did not know enough about the haunt
ing business to set at it without guide
book or time card or letter of ad-
vice and credit. They would gather
around and boot and jeer and shame
him half to life, for they couldn' shame
him half to death, he having been dead
for good 112 years.
81 WISH" he said to himself, ''that /
had exerted myself a little to keep
abreast of the times. Here find myself
with my entire death wasted. Just
laying around in comfortable grave
in the daytime and spending the night
time in disputing with lot of old fos-
siliZed sixteenth century ghosts con-
corning things of NO interest whatever,
have allowed opportunities to pass
and a lot Of juniors who weren't even
born, much less dead, when died, have
pushed me aside and ann just piece
of old furniture. If were thousand
years old or something like that it would
be better, for could lie and swear and
slash around retailing stale yarns, like
King Arthur or Caesar or Ahab or one of
that lot, and be interesting. But don't
know anything about the remote past
or the adjacent present. l have fooled
away my chances, but am going to
remedy conditions. am going to go
haunting around this town and get up
a reputation and go back to them and
assume my proper position in spiritual
society. Why, just think of it! Dead
112 years and have never scared any
one yet! Never screeched at school
boy in lonesome wood or groaned
around in a deserted house, or any
thing"
You could see that he was ashamed
of himself and that he was determined
to rectify his errors of omission. To be
sure, he was a bit nervous and dubious
about it-although, perhaps it isn't cor
rect to use that first adjective in descrip-
.ion of ghost, inasmuch as his nervous
system is generally supposed to be com
pressed air or fog or something of that
kind. He felt that it was a pretty serious
undertaking for strange and passe
ghost to drift into strange town with
the avowed purpose of haunting it into
state of terror, but he was an insistent
old spook, and buckled down to bust
ness with determination.
s'As 1 have always understood it," he
remarked to himself, "the thing ought
to begin with a demonstration in the
matter of blowing out lights. Iremem-
Der when was alive that they used to
talk of ghosts sneaking up behind one
and blowing out the lamp, and it al
ways filled me with horror. It's good
trick. I wonder who invented it? L
hello! If here isn't chance just ready
for me, I'm tombstone!"
The city was dark, it being after mid.
night, and all was very still. Suddenly
however, as he turned q corner he
slammed square up against q window
out through which a faint light
streaked its way. At desk sat man
doing over book. 1t was beautiful
chance. The ghost quietly slipped in.
side.
There is going to be a festival OF
fear right here in about four seconds,
he murmured softly to himself.
"Oh, guess not" he thought. "Just
imagine how he will feel, how his hair
viii raise, how his flesh will crawl when
lean over his shoulder and blow that
light out! Why, it almost scares Inc
myself"
He leaned over aud blew.
The light continued to burn steadily
The ghost had Strengthened up ready
TO give vent to wild, demoriac laugh
as Is the custom, he believed, for sucl
cases made and provided, but he did not
laugh. There was nothing to laugh at
Inc man continued to read on undis
turbed in his doing fashion.
That's funny" the visitor said &c
himself. Haven't got any lungs AMI
more or any strength of breath? Well