The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-07-28
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

He-"She looks nice enough to eatf"
She (severely)-"Yes; plain food has
its charms for some people. Stand
ard
Dora-"He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like" Cora
"What was that?" "Another man. -
Life.
almost any man will admit that
he's liable to make mistakes" Eyes;
except when he makes them. Chic
ago Journal.
Bowe--"H Harduppe has been ar
rested for assaulting Bullion, the
banker. =" Locke-"So he finally
struck something rich. Puck.
Primus-"Didn't Mr.. Goodman saw
that Colonel Bluegrass had become a
prohibitionist?" Secuudus - eyes.
and now the colonel is suing him for
libel. Yale Record.
"Is your flying machine a success?"
'Unquestionably," replied the enthu-
siast. "Have you made trip with
itP" mo, but I've sold several shares
Of stock. Washington Star
Barings-''Per woman, YOU
have broken my heartl" Miss Wheeler
-"Oh, | don't think it is as bad as
that Nothing worse than a small
puncture. indianapolis Journal.
"What are the weather indications
to-day?" asked the thin man. Grain,
10 certainty; circus in town, said
the thick man, without looking at the
bureaus report.-Cincinnati Tribune.
"He is very poor Judge of human
nature" remarked Miss Cayenne,
thoughtfully. "What leads you to
that conclusion?" "He has such
good opinion of himself. Washing
ton Star.
"Atwhat age does a man really be-
gin to feel the weight of years?"
Usually on his twenty birthday;
and it takes the sensation at least four
Or five years to wear off. Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Foster Hello, FELTON,! What are
you doing now?" Felton-"Oh, I'm
in business for myself. 1 have a
store of my own" Foster-"Ah!
Good! What make of bicycle do you
sell?"-Puck.
She-'And you say there were thir-
teen at the table?" He-'Just. zone
Of the party is sure to die before the
years out" ooh, l guess not! You
see, we are all officeholders. ."-Yon-
kers Statesman.
81 don't know why the papers should
speak so harshly of General Weyler.
The dispatches say he was at the head
of his troops at the last battle" "YesP
Which way were they going?"-
land Plain Dealer.
''Well, there is one thing to be
proud of; we have no class prejudices
in this country" 81 guess you were
never around when three or four
sophomores got hold of freshman.
indianapolis Journal.
''It must be awful to be broke away
out West" 81 didn't find it so. L
had a pretty good suit of clothes, so 1
pretended to be wanting to invest in
real estate. Nothing was too good for
me. indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. De Withers ton the way from
church)-'T think, my dear, DR..
Longwind's sermon was a very finished
effort" Mr.. De Withers-'It was,
but do you know l was afraid it never
would be. ."-Pittsburg Dispatch.
''Who says I'm out?" shouted the
ball tosser. 81 do" replied the UNI
pire. "Well, I'd rather have an un-
preiudiced opinion as to that" re-
marked the slugger, and then the kick
began. Philadelphia North American.
twas the first night of the new do
mestic's sojourn in the house, and, as
she had not appeared at 7.30 in the
morning, her mistress went up to her
room, and, rapping on the door, said;
"Mary! Oh, Mary We are all up,
and it's breakfast time. "All right,
mum, go ahead an eat an don't wait
for me. I'll be down in time to do the
dishes, mum. "-Harper's Bazaar.