The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1897-01-28
ORIGINAL BREEzES.
By George Absalom Ross,
ANYTHING FOR A CHANGE.


Christmas has gone, shout Allah's praise
And New Years, too, has had her stroke,
And st, Patricks and grounding days
viii change the headline Of the joke
-
The wives of lots of good fellows"
need shoes.
A good deed is never forgotten-by
the man that does it.
"The way of my life has fallen into
the sere, the yellow kid, said the New
York Journal,
Putting tax on beer will have tend
ency to lessen one kind of growing"
and start another.
A man who does not want to hear the
other side discussed is generally forced
to do his own shaving.
There is only one redeeming feature
in the pugilist John L. When he dies
the "L" will rhyme.
1t is said that the lower jaw of some
whales is thirty feet long. They must
be the prize fighters of the deep.
"The mills Of the butcher grind slow,
but they grind to sausage" remarked
the dog as he smelled the weinerwurst.
Missouri refused to pull down her
Vest and Kentucky won't wipe off her
Chinn, bnt Kansas has shown her whis-
kers.
Bigamy became SO prevalent in
Hungary that q law was passed COM
polling the man to live with both wo-
men, and it may be necessary, as q
further punishment, to have both his
mothers-in-law visit him at the same
time.
The Legislature of South Dakota is
discussing bill to protect the public
against incompetent dentists and quack
chiropodists. In other words, that
legislature is opposed to the imperic,
teeth and toe nails.
-
From the Shutdown Simeon.
If times get much harder we will be
compelled to turn this Office into a
Kelly institute.
The end gate in a wagon load Of
pumpkins broke in front of our house
last Saturday and we run yellow kid
supplement this week.
We are just eating two meals a day
now and have written q celebrated
specialist to ascertain what would be
the best hour to eat In case man only
eats one day.
An eastern capitalist came to this
city last week prospecting for suitable
place to put in street car line. W.
opposed it because the temperature il
low enough in this country now.
Fire broke into our Office one day
last week. A subscriber who was try
ing to break colt to work in q Wagon
hauled us a load of wood He coul(
have carried the wood, but he wanted
to break the colt.
Statistics says that the apple crop il
the United States this year is grea
enough to give every man, woman an(
, child two barrels. This would give III
thirty and three-fourth barrels at oul
house. The three-fourth barrel il
added for our mother-in law, who spends
about that amount of her time with us
We have got our representative tt
introduce bill in the legislature com
polling every person who wants to ru1
for office to subscribe for their county
paper and pay for it in advance. If i
passes it will make millionaire out o
us, but we can stand it.
Our subscribers will please note th,
advertisement of double barreled sho
gun on the third page of this paper
We do not get cash for running this ad
vertisement, but the gun and when WI
get it we are going to collect what il
due the paper or make amillionaire on
of the undertaken.
We published an account last week o
the world coming to an end in January
1898, thinking that some of our sub
scribers would get scared and pay up
but the date of the catastrophe was to-
far off and beside, we discovered that
large PERCENTAGE of our readers woul'
like to have their debts Cancelled il
q that way.
Frost Work.