Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1897-04-30
ADDRESS Before The 3. 8. N. &
L. Circle.

= - D~t nc OOi Oeu most
prominent young men on the uaes.
ton, R''esolvsd, That che Old MlidS
OF Burke's Garden be colonized." be
fore the Burke's Garden Musical aud
Literary Circle:
Ladies, Old Maids, Gentleman,
Old B0cheloyS aud c. ildren.
1t is with "A feeling of delic ICY, /
approsch what seems to be the most
Puzzliug question that has presented
itself in the history of the human
race Namely, What are we to do
With the Old Maids of Burke's Gar.
dent
This, Is perhaps the first time that
one has dared to make public this
questior. "But time like this do
msnds strong hearts. true faith and
willing hands,
! sm here to night TO uphold. what
seems to me and my constituents, a
cause that if sustained by you hber
ty loving people, though unprece.
deuted by any people of any cline.
Will place Burks's Garden On the
topmost round Of renown aud glory,
Why! Because il will be due to Ler
action that the world has found out
what to do with these sisters of the
past century.
1t will be useless for me to enum
erate the reasons why we should col
onize these faded beauties. Suffice
1t TO say they are expensive, they
are useless, they are unsought for,
found when not looked for, seen when
aud where not expected. but above
all these, they are dangerous 10 the
social circles of our beautiful valley.
My opponent doubtless will plead
their stay with us, with tear stained
eyes-with degree of feeling. For
L feel sure that he has reached that
age when, he too, has "A deep feel
ing of sympathy for those swiveled
grains OF the human race, whose pur-
pose In existence is beyond the real.
and whose place in the worlds histo
ry can only be found by placing
them In some far distant isle, where
the face OF man can, aud / feel sure
will necer be seen There to form
their own government, for our sys
TEN oi government touches not their
natures ia the least.
Fellow citizens, il is a great detri
nent to our country to have twenty
five or thirty outlines amongst us
seeking whomsoever they may devourl
Already there is Il premium of 81 90
per capita being offered on young
men-started at that aud behold the
end is not yet! Iappenl to you as
valiant citizens to rise in arms if ne
cessary to protect your doors from
tue SCARE of womanly treachery.
To colonize these rejected beauties
is perfectly naturally procedure,
it is in keeping with the laws of
nature-therefore' of man. When
you go to gather your fruit, you do
not place the swiveled inferior ones
along side of those blushing with
freshness and beauty, lest ruin comes
to all.
Therefore cay unless we place
this neglected fruit apart where its
final decay cannot contaminate that
which is to us priceless, ruin must
inevitably follow.
My opponent may tell youto DO this
would be TO return to the barbarous
law of the survival of the ittest. but
indeed it would not. aud even if was
| am sure it would meet the approx
al of all, unless it be few like this
gentleman who are standing on the
ground OF the closing century. be-
holding the horrors of the realms of
''siDgle blesseduess."
Then to colonize them will make
them infinitely happier, for then no
objects OF strife will assail them,
aud strife and contention amongst
US will be known no more
And even if internal warfare should
break out mans innocent blood
would not have to be split to satisfy
whimsical jealOusies. Then too they
wonld have to don the armor of man
aLd lay aside that death dealing
weapon generally used in feni.
ulne warfare. I think now they
will be even ready to foi M themselves
INTO a colony, when they are fully
aware of their peri!ous position in
regard to the general welfare of our