Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-10-21
THE BRAKEMAN AT CHURCH.

lHS DuIl SOpH 1A''''"'SN o
the following good thing on 1.-The
Brakeman at Church :
On the road once more, with Leb-
anon fading away in the distance, the
fat passenger drumming idly on the
window pane, the cross passenger
sound asleep, and the tall, thin Passen-
ger reading the Shepherdstown REG
IsTER. To me comes the brakeman,
and seating himself on the arm Of the
seat, says
81 went to church yesterday"
eyes ?" | said, with that interest
ed infection that asks for more. "And
what church did you attend p
(Which do you guess ?" he asked.
"Some union mission church ?" |
hazarded.
"No," he said, Il don't like to run
on these branch roads very much. |
don't often go to church, and when |
do, | want to run on the main line,
where your run is regular and don't
have to wait on connections. | don t
like to wait on branch. Good
enough, but l don't like it"
Episcopal" guessed.
Limited express" he said, call
palace cars, and two dollars extra for
a seat, fast time, and only stops at the
big stations. Nice line, but too ex-
pensive for brakeman. All train
men in uniform, conductors punch
and lantern silver plated, and no train
boys allowed. Then the passengers
are allowed to talk back to the con-
ductor, and it makes them too free
and easy. No, I couldn't stand the
palace cars. Rich road, though. Don't
often hear of receiver being appoint
ed fog5 that line. Some mighty nice
people travel on it, too"
"Universalist ?" | suggested.
Broad gauge" said the brakeman,
"does too much complimentary busi-
ness. Everybody travels on pass.
Conductor doesn't get fare once in
fifty miles. Stops at all flag stations,
and won't run into anything but a
union depot. No smoking car on the
train. Train orders are rather vague
though, and the trainmen don't get
along well with the passengers. No,
l don't go to the Universalsts, though
l know some awfully good men who
run on that road.
Presbyterian ?" asked.
Marrow gauge, eh ?" said the brake
man, pretty track, straight as rule !;
tunnel right through mountain rath-
er than go around it; spirit level
grade; passengers have to show their
tickets before they get on the train.
Mighty strict road, but the cars are
little narrow; have to sit one in a seat
and no room in the isle to dance.
Then there is no stop-over tickets al
lowed got to go straight through to
the station you are ticketed for, or
you can't get on at all. When the
cars full, no extra coaches; cars are
built at the shops to hold just so many,
and nobody else allowed on. But you
don't often hear of an accident on that
road. It's run right up to the rules. "
Maybe you joined the Free Think
ers?" l said.
Scrub road" said the brakeman,
dirt roadbed and no ballast, no time
card and no train dispatcher. All
trains run wild, and every engineer
makes his own time, just as he pleases.
Smoke if you want to- kind Of a go
as you please road. Too many side
tracks, and every switch wide open all
the time, with the switchman sound
asleep and the target lamp dead out.
Get on as you please and off when you
want to. Don't have to show your
tickets, and the conductor isn't ex-
pected to do anything but to amuse
the passengers. No, sir, was offered
a pass, but l don't like the line. l
don like to travel on a road that has
no terminus. Do you know, sir. l
asked division superintendent where
the road run to, and he said 'he hoped
to die if he knew l asked him if the
general superintendent could tell me-
and he said he didn't believe they had
a general superintendent, and if they
had, he didn't know anything more
about the road than the passengers l
asked him who he reported to and he
| I j II l..nt