Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1897-07-26
STRIVING TO PLEASE.
THE ADVANCE AGENT TELLS HOW HIS
 FRIENDS OBSERVED THIS RULE.

ence--A Monument Which Proves That
 His Efforts Were Appreciated.
 .'I always strive to please, " remarked the dramatic editor, as he scratched the words big thing out of the advance notice he was writing and substituted
 'megatherian aggregation.
 Thanks, l am sure, said the ad- vance agent, as he read over the ten lines the dramatic critic was giving to him, and carefully put back into his pocket the half column notice he had first drawn on the q. G.
 . I presume, smiled the q. C., that you always strive to please, too, don't you?'
 Not always s'-in a semidisappointed tone-' but used to have a friend who did. He really was the most self deny ing chap ever saw, and what he wouldn't do 10 please an audience wasn't worth doing ]"
 tWhere is he now?"
 "Dead. :"
 "Dead?.
 Yes, it killed him. It was this way: He was ill the pyroteehnic branch of the dramatic art and used to give shows at one of those imitation Conev Islands to be found on nearly every sand bar in nearly oeer river tributary to the Mis- sissippl. He had been the originator of the fireworks feature at this place, and his phenomenal success had made him so proud that he would sooner have died than had failure. One Fourth of July he was going to give the grandest dis play of his life, and the feature in the biggest letters on the bill was a set piece, 100 feet high. with an enormous balloon loaded with fireworks to go up from the top as grand finale. There were ten times as many people there that night as there had ever been, and my friend was feeling so good you could see it in his walk
 Everybody was on edge, too, for the grand blaze of glory the management had been advertising for weeks, and when. promptly at the hour of 10 o'clock, my friend stepped forth like a peacock to set off the great display with his own hand there was round of ap- plause, followed by a dead silence as the audience sat breathless watching for the burst of blazing glory. But some how it didn't burst Tine professor fired the train and retreated to safe place, but the powder wouldn t burn. 1t fizzled and went out instead Once, twice, thrice, it fizzled, spnttered and went out, and then the crowd began to growl and guy, as crowds always will, and the professor began to get wild.
 Several other attempts to set the piece of were no more successful, and at last, with smothered scream of crazy rage. he shot up the ladder of the tower to it's very top, where he had platform stored with all sorts of infam- mable and explosive things arranged to go off at the proper time. He stood there moment silhouetted against the sky, the crowd indulging i'll gibes and jeers. with now and then threat as to what he might expect if he would only come down to the ground. This was his time to show what he could do to please his audience, and i'll minute, and be- fore anybody had any idea what he would do next, he caught up all armful of the explosives about him, fastened them to his clothes and hung wreaths and rings over his neck and shoulders, and. setting the whole thing afire, he swung out into the air ill the balloon, which was already tugging at it's anchor.
 'As the balloon shot up it was ter rife sight, and the poor devils shrieks added to the intensity of the scene, al- ready lurid with red and blue lights, while the air was filled with all manner of bursting bombs and crashing explo- sives Women faintcd, men ran help lessly about shouting, and still the bal loon swept upward with it's fiery freight and passenger, until, when It had reached a point 1000 feet above the earth, it caught fire and the whole burning mass shot like blazing ball straight to the ground.
 s.You will bo safe in betting those people never saw such an exhibition as that before, nor will ever again Ill all probability. and when it was oyer concluded the agent, the audience seemed to realize what the professor had done to please them, and they chip ped in and built him monument where he fell, having on it, besides his name and the proper dates, no other in- scription except fife striyed to please .
 The dramatic critic was at least hall a minute ill recovering his speech after the recital of this remarkable tale, and before he could ask any questions the advance agent had folded his tent like q circus and stolen away to the office of the next dramatic critic he had to call upon. Washington Star.