The weekly Thibodaux sentinel and journal of the 8th Senatorial District. [volume] (Thibodaux, Lna. [i.e. La.]) 1875-1898, 1897-11-20
All Crooked.

Sometimes, when the clouds are dull
md the wind is in this east, when the
grade is heavy, the steam is low, and
Ahe sand-box empty, it does seem as
though this old world had slipped an
eccentric and was only working one
side. The wicked man flourishes like
a green bay tree, while his honest
ne.ghbor gets whipsawed every deal.
The doctor prescribes quinine for your
chills, and the druggist puts you up
something worthless AMI cheap for two
dollars an ounce. There are tifty-three
authors of the Beautiful Snow" and
not one for the Bread Winners" In
nothing but centurv-ola "grandfathers'
clocks" and furnishes pedigrees for
the same to the purchaser, until to own
a tall, antique clock is proof positive
Shat your family began only with your
.atiler. In Chicago they make violins
thai look one hundred years older than
the most genuine Stradivarlus four
weeks after they are made, so that now
al ancient, honest-l0oking, decrepit
vloAn is prima facie evidence Of glaring
and o. trageous fraud. There is water
IN tie milk OF commerce, and sugar in
the sand the grocer sesls. We nave
rls,'rs wieIc W. used to have ehills.
"Cli Subscriber" is usually a mar who
borsows the paper from a neighbor, or
reads the copy pasted up on the bull
ietin board; Constant Reader" who
never read anything in his life save the
pictures on a clrcas poster; and TAX
Payer" Is the signature OF u tramp. 4
struggling genius writes q poem with q
soul of fire that lives forever and a
day. and dies in tears and loneliness
and poverty in q hall bedroom. fifth
floor back. The Queen writes a book
that no living man outside the Guelph
family and the Woof-reader could be
hired to read. and has pie three times
a day, owns four dogs, and has India
shawls to give to the flood sufferers.
So it is. Man goeth to the skating
rink with JOY in his heart and mirth on
his lips, and he cometll away with his
back SO full of pine slivers that the
porcupine sayeth unto him, "Tlou art
my brother" and the hedgehog crieth
after him, Behold my father and
mother"
When December is here with a select
assortment of chilblains and FROST
bites, we cry, Would heaven it were
july" And when July is come,
straightway We are sunstruck.
There are three thousand known clas-
sitied and described species of fish.
And yet a man can fish in good water
all day long and never catch one soil
tary specimen of the smallest kind,
and hrInro<h honoa xr1%1 l.~o o-1.
Two weeks ration of malarial fever,
This also is vanity.
The girl with soft eyes and ripping
brown hair, who walks all over your
poor huttering heart at the charity
ball. has just finished a crazy quilt,
containing thousand and sixty-four
pieces of neckties and hat-linings, put
together with twenty-one thousand
three hundred and ninety stitches. And
her poor old father fastens on his sus.
penders with a long nail, a piece OF
Irvine, a sharp stick, and one regularly
ordained button. This also is vanity.
Man planteth a bed of pansies in the
front yard, and 10! there cometh up
naught save a colony Of cut worms only.
He goeth forth into the field and drop
Peth corn into the hill, and four hun
dred million crows sing as they pluck
1t out of the ground after him.
He strolleth through the leafy woods,
and his bide Is filled with chigres. He
Colleth in the fragrant winrows of new.
nown hay, and straightway biteth him
self with a snake. There are spring.
guns IN the orchard, a bull in the pas
ture. a ram in the meadow, a dogin the
yard, and three tramps down the road,
80 that he hath TO Fest for the sole of
his foot, and no JOY for his heart if he
moveth out Of his room.
Somebody has got to straighten this
old world out, ard as they seem to be
little slow about it, [ have made up
my mind that | will do it myself. Why
should Vanderbilt ride in . private car,
when sometimes it is hard grubbing
for an honest journalist to secure o trip
pass? Why should ex-senator Tabor,
che magnificent, pay out more money
for night-shirts than a home missionary
can afford for carpets? Go to! If
something is not done speedily, of a
verify will l join the Communists, and
become al agitator and live without
working. Next to being a capitalist, il
is more profitable to be an agitator.--
burlington Hapkeye.