davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-10-20

DE Ham CO., Pen Manufacturers of Phil
adeiphia. have put on sale in wheeling, w.
Va. their celeb ated Aluminium Pens.
These pens have been manufactured for the
past twenty-five years, and give better sat
isfaction than any common steel pens One
VIII outlast five common pens. The State
department of West Virginia has been using
them for the past 20 years; also Govern
ment Department., Wasiin ton. d. G. ask
your statioDer for them. Price ST. so per
gross Is 8. 90 doz. gross. Samples, 2 pens
on card, sent to any address. 15c. Office of
manufacturer. and North Eighth street,
Philadelphia. ESQ rb
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
a Clever Lawyer.

An old lawyer i'll Paris had instruct
ed very young client of his to weep
every time he struck the desk with his
hand. Unfortunately the barrister for
got and struck tho desk at the wrong
moment. The client fell to sobbing and
crying.
What is the matter with you?''
asked the presiding judge.
well, he told me to cry as often as
he struck the table"
Here was nice predicament, but
the astnte lawyer was equal to the oc-
casion. Addressing the jury, he said:
well, gentlemen, let me ask yon
how you can reconcile the idea of crime
i'll conjunction with such candor and
simplicity. l await your verdict with
the most perfect confidence. '-Ex-
change,
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
When We Criticise Our Friends,

There are two kinds of mistakes :: mis-
takes of moment and trivial mistakes. -
writes Edward W. Box, in the April
LADIES' Home Journal ''Undoubtedlv
the best service which one friend can rem
der another is to save him from mistake
liable to be serious in its results. 10 such
an act lies true friendship. But in these
days OF criticism, when we are apt to crit
icise everything and everybody, we are
all too apt to correct mistakes which are
absolutely trivial and not worth correct
ing. And yet in calling attention to them
we often hurt the feelings of our best
friends. Not one of us, even the most
good-natured, likes to have his mistakes
pointed out. We may appear not to
mind corrections, and accept them with
smile, but it is human nature to smart
under correction, although some of us
may be clever enough to conceal the
smart. Hence, the fewer mistakes we
call attention to in others the better.
are trivial. Their correction is unjm-
portant. Why, then, notice themP Yet
some people do, and do so constantly. A
person speaks of having done a certain
thing ON Thursday, when in reality it
was done on Wednesday, If no impor-
tant point is involved, why call attention
to the mistake? What good does it do
to have the exact day set rightP 1t is a
matter of no Importance, 30 why insist
upon correcting the trivial error2
Staunch friendships have often been
prloked by this needle of useless
correction. 1t is great art-this art of
learning to allow others to be mistaken
when the mistake is unimportant. Few
learn it, but those who do are among the
most comfortable friends one can have"
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
DONKEY, DOG AND GOAT.

The Three Great Sights of Transconti-
mental Journey.
1.-THE three oldest things that l saw
outside of New York." said New
Yorker who had gone overland to Den
yer and returned by water by way of
Galveston, "were donkey, dog and
goat. The donkey was the motive
power of the single bobtail car that
goes up the hill on South Broadway,
Denver. He was an amusing fellow.
After made my first trip up that steep
hill was astonished to see the con-
ductor unhitcn the donkey and put him
aboard the car. The dashboard was fit
ted up as sort of stall, and he stood
there sideways when the car started
back down the hill under its own i'm
petus. The donkey's face took on de-
lighted expression as he found himself
in the role of passenger. He really
seemed to be grinning at the conductor
and the passengers.
60 saw the dog as l was about to en-
ter the Taber Opera House in Denver
The dog was called Bill, and he was
part of the outfit of a cigar store in the
opera house building. He was black
spaniel. He was rigged up i'll Zouave
trousers and jacket trimmed with gold
braid, had a tasseled fez on his head
and spectacles on his nose. The oldest
thing about him was that he sat Oh his
launches, with his paws i'll the air,
actually smoking "a cigarette like con-
firmed cigarette tiend. l found that he
had been trained to smoke the cigarettes
while the audience was going into the
theater as an advertisement of his own
er's business. That was the first time
l had ever seen Il dog smoking
81 made the acquaintance of the goat
in tobacco factory i'll Key West There
were 200 Cuban girls there, nearly all
of them pretty and all of them smokers
or chewers of tobacco The goat was
their particular pet. He was the biggest
goat ever saw, almost as large as Il
Shetland pony, with big branching
horns, and perfectly tame. He playfully
butted the girls or pranced around
among them. His best trick, however,
was the larceny of their dinner baskets.
He used to go nosing around until he
found particularly choice luncheon
He would knock over the basket, seize
the lunch, and dash outdoors with it.
No amount of chastisement had ever
broken him of the trick. Of course
saw wonderful scenery in the journey,
but the donkey and the deg and the
goat were by long odds the most inter
esting living things that encountered. "
New York Sun.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
GEMS.

Faith is the greatest builder and envy
the greatest destroyer
Experience is the father aud memory
the mother Of wisdom.
They who do not feel the darkness will
never look for the light.
The morning of opportunity passes: the
day of aocounta bility never
1t is right to be contented with what
we have. never with what we are.
Life is battle, the downfall of one
man Is the opportunity of another.
Men can better PHILOSOPHERS on the
human heart, but woman can read il
better.
Let friendship creep gently to height:
II 1t rush to it, it may soon run itself out
of breath.
The best way to be thankful is to so
live and act that all our actions show
forth our gratitude.
The principal end or object of learning
is not merely to know, but to know for
some end or purpose.
Most of their faults omen owe to men.
whlle men are indebted to women for
most of their better qualities.
have ever held it as maxim never to
do that through another which it was DOS.
slole for me to execute myself.
1t is more wholesome for the moral
nature to be restrained, even by arbitrary
power, than to be allowed to exercise ar.
bitrary powers.
We know the unseen world is ruled by
tne same laws which rule us here. In
that world we may expect discipline, but
we need fear no evil,
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
LIKE A LAVEROCK IN THE LIFT
BY JEAN INGELow.

It's we two, it's we two. it's we two for aye
All the world and we two and heaven be
our stay.
Like a laverock in the lift sing, 0 bonny
bride,
All the world was Adam once, with Eve by
his side.
What's the world, my lass, my Iove-what
can it do?
l am thine, and thou art mine; life is sweet
and new.
If the world have missed the mark, let II
stand by;
For we two have taken leave, and once
more we'll try.
Like laverock in the lift. sing, o bonny
bride;
It's we tvs, it's We two. happy side by side
Take kiss from me, thy man; now the
song begins,
"All is made afresh for us, and the brave
heart wins
When the darker days come, and no sur
will shine,
Thou shalt dry my tears, lass. and I'll dry
thine.
It's we two, it's we two. while the world i,
away,
Sitting by The golden sheaves on our wed
ding day.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
Had Formed an Opinion.

Lawyer (for the defence in murder
osse)-"Have you read anything about
this case in the newspapers ?"
Possible Juror-''No, sir"
Have you not publicly or privately
expressed any opinion as to the guilt or
innocence of my poor posscuted clent?'
mo, sir. l never heard of the case un-
til brought here as a juror
"Have you formed any opinion of the
matter whatever ?"
"Yes, sir, 1 have"
"Eh If you never heard of the case
until you entered this court room, how
could you form an opinion Answer that
sir-answer that, and l hope the Courtt
will give particular attention to the reply.
Out with it ~
Il have concluded that your client
must be awfully guilty or you would not
find it 30 difficult to get jury to suit
you."
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
Training For Klondike

10 the Klondike country the argonaut
from this climate will have to be especi.
ally equipped physically to stand the
| rigors of an Arctic winter and the hard
ship of possible hunger. A course of
training may be necessary fJr the astute
young man who has never been further
northwest than Logan Square.
For those who contemplate making the
trip to round up all the gold dust that
lies concealed under the Arctic Circle, a
man versed in hygiene suggests the
following rules of conduct:
Ride on the front seat of the grin car
in winter.
Eschew overcoats and underclothing.
Spend two hours day in the Zero
room of cold storage warehouse.
Keep your head cool.
If you play cards at all, coufine your
self to freeze out.
If married, ask your wife to let you
build the fires Oh January mornings.
Ii single, send your sweetheart cook
book and call the next evening. Yonr
reception will be of temperature low
enough to inure you to most any climate.
Give your friends cold stare when
they greet you
AS you will have to pack your grub
from juneau to Dawson, you will need
some muscle. Ask the j4nitor of your
building to call on you when he wants
coal carried up to the top fat.
Battle in water in which ice is floating.
1t calms the nerves.
Rock the baby to sleep each night in
the cradle. The exerei,e will accustom
you to the work you expect to do in your
mine.
Partake sparingly OF the following
menu once every other day:
Cutlets OF dog. Snowflake mullins.
More ice.
Tallow la mode. Lard frappe.
Some more ice
frosteo zine cones. Fricasse of icicle.
Clipped iceberg
Sperm candle chilled. Glacier puffs.
After a month of this diet two more
months should be spent in fasting. If.
at the end of that time, you still yearn
for sudden wealth you will be in condi-
tion to go, barring. of course. accidents
and sickness Chicago Inter Ocean.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
THE RIVER OF LIFE.

'iTis fieeting, changeful river,
Blent of calm and crusted wave,
Flowing in and out forever
Tween the cradle and the grave.
Changeful river, ever flowing,
Narrower and broader growing,
Flowing, flowing, ever going
Toward the still and solemn sea-
Forms of light and shapes of shadow
Float upon its troubled breast.
Through the moorland and the meadow,
On; the waters will not rest.
Here bud, by churl hand wrested,
Flung into the angry foam.
There flower with blooms invested
Plucked and ravished from its home.
Youth and age, and strength and weakness
Beauty, innocence and sin,
Pride and power and love and meekness,
All in turn are gathered in.
Time and Death, two grand old warders
Watch it rise and mark it flow.
Death, upon the still seas borders,
Bids the ice wind on it blow.
Changeful river fond hearts parting,
In that still and solemn sea
Joined TO heal the grief and smarting
Bud and flower with stem shall be.
For DER Time and Death an angel
Gods strong angel-wall1s the waves,
Claiming with his trump, Evangel,
All that pass within the grave.
Claiming for his Lord and Master,
By the flaming cross he wears,
ALTHOUGH battered by disaster
All the sullen river bears.
Changeful river, ever flowing,
Narrower and broader growing,
Flowing, flowing, ever going
Toward the still and solemn sea.
&C. D. Stuart in New York Ledger
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

Phil May, the artist and caricaturist,
tells of funny experience he had on
his return from tour for the London
Graphic:
When l came back to London, l
hastened to the office, and imagine my
qualification when 1 saw everywhere
resplendent banners bearing the inscrip-
ton in large letters. "Weloome to
May"
''This is indeed fame" thought,
and when l got to The Graphic office
there was another inscription, with
flowers and all the rest of it, "Welcome
to M. and g." The G. worried me a
bit, but then the name of the man who
went out with me commenced with G.
told the editor of my qualification.
"Why, you egotistical idiot" he re-
marked politely, "it's nothing to dc
with you'll It's the marriage of Prince
George and Princess May"
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

IL is always gratifying to receive testi-
monials for Cham berlain's Colo, Cholera
and Diarrhea Remedy, and when the en- .
dorsement is from physician it is
especially so. There is no more
satisfactory or effective remedy than
Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and Diar-
RI ms Remedy" writes DR.. r. E. Robey.
physician and pharmacist, of Olney, Mo.
and as he has used the remedy in his own
family and sold it in his drug store for
six years he should certainly know. For
sale by Geo. M. Andrews, druggist.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13


"Where is the Governor?" timidly
inquired venerable looking man, as he
walked into the executive office Saturday
afternoon, and, with his hat in his hand.
approached the desk occupied by Major
A. P. Shreve.
The Governor has gone home to spend
Sunday" replied the Major, scarcely
looking up from the writing which he
was doing.
That's too bad" remarked the visitor,
walking uneasily about the office.
The strange visitor did not make his
wishes known, but Continued staring
vaoantly at the pictures on the wall.
Finally the visitor approached Major
Shreve's desk and said:
"You know the Governor, don't your"
"Well, guess do" answered Major
Shreve.
He's great fellow"
"Yes; very clever man." r lined the
Major
Know about the favor he offered
me?" asked the visitor.
"No, DON'T" was the ans i. or,
The old man thea occupied ten
minutes in halting, d seonuected
announcement of the fact that when the
Governor recently visited hi- =, ction Of
the State, the conversation iu,n,d upon
bathtubs, the old man had been promised
bath in the Governors office.
SWELL, well!'' exclaimed Major Shreve.
"We've got the bathtubs."
''Is it possible?"
"l'll show 'em to you," said Shreve.
He opened the door leading to the
bathroom and told his visitor to go in
and go to work. The old fellow tiptoed
in on the tiled floor, looked arou nd in
dszed sort of way for some time, asked
how to lock and unlock the door and
! finally announced his readiness to tackle
the job.
Major Shreve retired and for half an
hour listened to sounds resembling the
roar of Niagara emerging from the room.
At the end of that time the old man
again made his appearance. having com
pleted what he himself said was "the
first bath have had for years. That's
mighty fine in there, amt itP" he said.
''Well, l do declare. l never thought
there was really bathtub in the Office,
but it's great thing, amt it?"
As Major Shreve resumed his work,
the old man, with his cheeks aglow,
ambled out of the office and said:
Give my regards to the Governor, and
tell him that l came and got the bath he
promised me. ."-TOpekG State Journal.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
TOUr TO Gettysburg. Luray, and
Washington.

The Pennsy lvania Railroad Company
has arranged for most delightful seven
day tour to the Gettysburg Battlefield,
CaverDs of Luray, and Washington, to
leave New York September 0. 1t will
be in charge of one of the company's
tourist agents, and will cover an in
tansely interesting section of the uppe
South. An experienced ohaperon, whose
especial charge will be unescorted ladit 8,
will accompany the trip throughout
Round-trip rate, including all necessary
expenses during the entire time absent
$27 from New York, $26 from Trenton,
and $24 from Philadelphia, and proper
tionate rates from other poiots.
For itinerates and full information
appy to ticket agents, Tourist Agent
1896 Broadway. New York, or address
Geo. w. Boyd, Assistant General Pas
senger Agent. Broad Street Station,
Philadelphia.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
YELLOW STONE PARK.
A Complete Tour via the PennAyl.
Vanfa Railroad.

EhnIA RAILROAD.
The Yellowstone National Park is uu-
questionably the most interesting region
on the Globe, for within it is displayed the
greatest collection of natures manifold
wonders. Indeed, this mountain bound
plateau, high up on the summit of the
everlasting Rockies, is veritable play
ground for the worlds giant forces. To
stand and gaze upon them in all their
marvellous mantle ations, the great
geyser upheavals, the fieroe steam blasts,
the terrible leap of the river, and the
awful canon, is revelation, an experience
to be had at no other point on the earth.
The personally conducted tour of the
Pennsy lv auis Railroad Company, which
leav. New York on September Q, affords
the most satisfactory means of visiting
this u oLderland and viewing its marve-
lous fea' ures. Tourist will travel by
special train of Pullman smoking,
dining, sleeping. and observation cars in
each direction. Eight days will be spent
in the Park. Stops will also be made
returning at St. Paul and Chicago. The
round trip rate. $235 from New York,
Philadelphia, Baltimore, and Washing.
ton, $3.50 from rittsburg, covers all
necessary expenses.
For detailed itineraries and full
information apply to ticket agents,
Tourist Agent, 1896 Broadway, New
York, or address Geo. w. Boyd, Assist
ant General Passenger Agent, Broad
Street Station, Philadelphia.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

Carelessness in girlhood causes the
greatest suffering and unhappiness in
after life. Little irregularities and weak
nesses in girls should be looked after
promptly and treatment given at once.
DIR. Pierce's Favorite Prescription pro-
notes regularity of all feminine functions,
makes strength and builds up sturdy
health with which to meet the trials to
come. The Favorite Prescription is n OF
a universal panacea. 1t is good for but
one thing. 1t is directed solely at one set
of organs.
DR.. Pierce's Common Sense Medical
Adviser, a 1908 page medical work,
profusely illustrated, will be sent free on
receipt of 81 one. cent stamps to cover
postage only. Address, Worlds Dispen-
sary Medical Association, Buffalo, N. Y.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

H q. HlLLMAN, Administrator of AL
u. ward W. Hillman, deceased by direc-
tion of the Surrogate OF the county OF Salem,
hereby gives notice to the ,reditors of the
said Award W. Hillman, deceased, to bring
In their debts, demands and claims against
the estate of the said decedent, under oath
or affirmation, within nine months from the
date hereof, or they will be forever barred
of any action thereof against the said Ad-
minlstrator. U. g. HILLMAN,
Dated June 10. 1897. Aminis traitor.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

A swallow is considered one of the
fastest of flying birds, and it was
thought until recently that no insect
could escape it, A naturalist tells of an
exciting chase he saw between q swal-
low and dragon fly, which is among
the swiftest of insects, the latter finally
escapinp.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

Uncle John-Well. what do you mean
to be when you get to be a man?
Little Tommy (pronptly)-A doctor,
like pa.
Uncle John (quizzioally) -Indeed; and
which do you intend to be, an allopath
or hon @ path?
Little Tommy-I don't know what
them awful big words mean, Uncl, John;
but that don't make no difference, cause
| amt goin' to be either of 'em. I'm lust
goin' to be family doctor an give all
my patients Hoods Sarsaparilla, 'oause
my pa says that if lie is a doctor, he's
Obliged to own up that Hoods SArsapa-
rilla is the best family medicine he ever
saw in his life,
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

1t is stated that animal life appears
to be almost absent in the neighborhood
of the north pole. Beyond latitude 83
degrees the Fran met with neither
whales, seals, walrus nor bears, though
dog fishes were seen as high as 80 de-
grces.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

She had just returned from visit to
Boston.
''Is it true" asked an acquaintance,
THAT there is all air of culture and ed
ucational refinement plainly noticeable
Ill the speech of Boston residents?"
MY DEAR" she replied impressively,
"oven the owls around Boston hoot ITO
whom 7 instead of TO whoo! as they
do in tho west. "-Chicago Times-Her-
aid.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
Notice of Assignment.

NOTICE is hereby gwen that Clark c..
IN Hewitt (Farmcr) of the township oi
Warrington in the county of Salem. in the
State of New jersey, hath this day made nm
assignment 10 the subscriber o. his estate
for the equal benefit of his creditors, and
that The said creditors must exhibit their
res pective claims, under oath or ffirmation
within the term OF three months.
OLIVER IL. WRIGGlNS.
Dnted Salem. N. :. June 9 1897
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
DELIGHTFUL VACATION TRIP.
Tour TO the North Pennsylvania
Railroad.

Tour to the North PennNYIVamIA
Railroad.
Visiting Watkins Glen, Mag IRA Falls.
Thousand Islands, Quebec, Montreal, Au
Sable Chasm. Lake Champlain and Lake
George, Saratoga. and the Highlands of
the Hudson. Leave philadelphia by
special train August II. The tour will
be in charge of one of the company's
tourists agents. An experienced hap.
erone will also accompany the party,
having especial charge of unescorted
ladies'.
The rate Of 500 from New York, Brook
Ign, Newark, Trenton, Philadelphia,
Harrisburg. Baltimore and Washington
covers railway and boat fare for the en-.
tire round trip, parlor car seats, meals
en- route. hotel entertainment, transfer
charges, carriage hire-in fact, every
item of necessary expense.
For detailed itinerary, tickets, or any
additional information, address Tourist
AGENT. Pennsylvania Railroad Company,
1896 Broadway, New York; $50 Fulton
street, Brooklyn; or Geo. w. Boyd, As.
sistant General Passenger Agent. Broad
Street Station, Philadelphia.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
Executors Notice.

TNHOMAS SMITH. Executor of Fanny
l. Smith, deceased, by direction of the
Surrogate of the county of Salem, hereby
gives notice to the creditors OF the said
Fanny Smith, deceased to bring in their
debts, demands and claims against the
estate of the said decedent, under oath OF
affirmation, within nine months from the
date hereof, or they will be forever barred OF
any action thereof against the said Exec
utOr THOMAS SMITH. Executor
Dated June ID, 1897. Is 2m
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

An upright posture is easier than a
STOPPING one because it is more natural,
and one part is better supported by
another; so it is easier to be an honest
man than knave
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13
Will Surprise You.

In order to prove the great merit of
Ely's Cream Balm, the most effective
cure for Catarrh and Cold in Head. your
druggist will supply a generous 10 cen
trial size or we will mail for 10 cents
Full size so cts.
ELY BROS, Sc Warren St., N. Y.
City.
Ely's Cream Balm has completely
cured me of catarrh when everything else
failed. Many acquaintances have used it
with excellent results.-Alfred W.
Stevens, Caldwell, Ohio.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

The number of human beings " Who wish
to see truly is very small. The fear Of
truth governs men more than the love of
truth-unless truth pays them.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

Two branches of the Aberdeen Asso-
ration For the Distribution of Litera-
ture to Settlers i'll Canada have been
formed in Montreal.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

The confidence OF the people in Hood .
Sarsaparilla is due to its unequalled re-
cord OF wonderful cures.
The Monitor-register., 1897-08-13

Educate Your Bowels With Cascn retH,
Candy Cathartic. cure constipation iorever.
l0c, 25c. If c. c. G. fail, druggists refund money.