Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-09-18
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1t see,ns strange that when man 10
taken in he usually feels put out about
IL philadelphia Record.
The rcscucr---uow did you come to
foil in? The rescued--l didn't come to
fall in; came to fsh.-Harpers
Weekly.
Brcwne-Sah Is cheap the world
over. Towne-Humph' Did you ever
buy chloride Of sodium mt a drug
store life.
Has his lortiship exhibited any
symptoms Of affectiong" Eyes. lie has
tried to find out how much we are
worth."-1.ife.
"Oh. George. our dinner decorations
are only white and red" well. when
we get the bill everything will be
blue" Boston Post.
william Good-lt's shocking the way
eouse young men spend money. Jack
nasher-lsn't II. Now get everything
On credit. brooklyn Life.
Moss--lt drives me frantic to see
women standing In street car. Fern
Yes; I've noticed that It turns your
head.-rhiladelphia North American.
irnte citizen ito scorcher)--lii. there!
Have pedestrians no rights In this
city? Scorcher ,whizziug by)-Certain.
~: they have funeral rites. ---Brooklyn
Life.
Aid charging furiously up)--General.
the enemy has captured our left wing.
What shall we dor The commander
Fly with the Philadelphia In.
Quirer.
Hc-1 understand that Miss Derwent
Is quite "a composer. She--Yes, she
composes the greater part Of what you
sec Of her, every morning. -Cleveland
Leader.
Twynn-Dornblazer won't catch my
fish II he wears that suit. I doubt II
hell even see one. Triplctt--lIe should
at least sccrs,iclier with that coat ON.
boston Iost.
Molly-Jack called on the last night
and stayed until IL o'clock. Dolly--Hs
told me this morning that II was very
late before he could get away.--Ncw
York Journal.
"1lave you seen Maud's rainy day
costume? It's too sweet for any use"
"Why doesn't she wear II to-dny?" re
looks 70 much like rain.'-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
First tramp-Did yer give her dat
gng about bein' too feeble ter work
Second tramp-Yes. She said dat wus
what wux der matter wild de gag
New York Journal.
Mr.. Cumso-Fanglc. what IL the DIFF.
ference between u hectic flush md q
bobtail flush? Mr.. Fangle--A hectic
flush IL rcd. while a bobtail flush leaves
someone bluc.-BOston Post.
Then. proud beauty. you refuse my
lovei' said he. We'll" said the sum.
mcr girl. thoughtfully. Il don't know
but that I might be willing TO take m
option on it."-indianapOlis Journal.
She-I am quite sure you had toe
much champagne when you called on
me yesterday afternoon. lIe-Yes;
thought Id Just look around today ID
see II I was engaged to you.-Punch.
Agnes-I put u plaster on Reggy
when he went 10 ask papa for my
hand. Mcg-That was to draw him
out, ch? Agncs--Ycs, and II also mus
tered up his courage.-Ne York Jour
nal.
"rhcy say your minister and ourl
had race to see which would perform
the most marriage ceremonies during
June. How did II come OutY "Oh, I,
was a tic. Of course. "-Philadelphia In
quirer.
I'VE have rather a long account "a
settle with Turkey" said Prince Con
stantine. grimly. YES" said King
George, with a slight smile. "and III
running account ut that."--Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
"You old plug" said the farmer to hii
balky horse, you actually amt worth
kiiiin'-unless," he added. after second
thought. unless could manage to git
you killed by the railroad."-Cincin
natl Enquirer.
Weary Watkins: Say, what Is mora
courage, anyway Hungry Hlggins
II heard a preacher say II was thu
power to say no. Weary Watkins
when you're asked to drink. or t
workT'-Indianapolis Journal.
Hicks: "Did you hear about Macklin'
They called the Rev. Mr.. Dudley to hi
bedside last evening" Wicks: "Yol
don't mean to say he Is In dying condi
toni" Hicks: "Oh, no; only bad Gus,
Of insomnia."-Boston Transcript.
She: do you really believe that Ga
brlel will sound trumpet for Ill of VI
on the last dayT' He: "Well, ! an
sometimes half inclined to believe tina
some folks will insist upon blowing
their own horns, even then."-Cleve
land Leader.
Awkward young dramatist ito man
ager)-Might ! ask how my three-ac
drama Is coming on, sir? Has II beef
accepted? 1.-THE three members Of tn,
reading committee have read 1t ant
think II will do with one act cut out
II am glad to hear II Is no worse, sir.
But" continued the manager, 'unfort
unatcly, each one wants to strike out |
different act."-Fliegende Batter.
The red-faced youngster had con
sented TO become the new office boy
IN give you 81 per week." said tn
great and eminent lawyer, as he looke'
at the successful applicant In & b
nlgaant and indulgent way. "Say
boss" responded the youngster, "wh
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