Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-11-13
HASAEI!|S4yIE 81
-. 49,


81 can't see why you object to young
Softly. lin sure he is constant"
Worse than that. lie is perpetual"
She-Dld you see anything in New
York that reminded you of Phlladel.
phia? He-ies; the messenger boys
Exchange.
Author-l have a dialect story want
TO sell you. Edltor--lu what dialect IL
II? Author-1 don't know. Editor-l'll
take it.-1ruth.
Daughter--What will do. papa. out
there in the country without a riding
habit? Her papa-Get into the habi, Of
walking. my dear.-Up TO Date.
Ethel-Maud has been trying to learn
how to ride a bicycle for four weeks
now. fcnelopc-ls her instructor stu.
pid! neutrality-suspicious..
Parson-There is no victory. young
man. like the victory over self. Scorch.
er-les. | know. broke my tcn.milc
record yesterday Enquirer.
The bashful one--Why do you girls
always kiss each other when you meet?
She-iecause we wish TO do unto each
other as we would that others should
do unto us.--Life.
rs your sisters husband coming
down over sunday mo: it's too far"
Too far. Why. the charm of this place
Is its accessibility "Yes. but my sister
Is a widow."-Puck.
Father TAT breakfast)-lIow did young
snodgrass like my turning Off the gas
ut O'Clock last nightl Daughter lsur.
prised)-Why, pnpa-l-he--we didn't
know that you did.-Puck.
Ee9namical and wealthy fa,her-DQ
sou HheW. NY sou. what .'"'-i
would do for you? Robcrt.-I know
what II has done for me. father. and I
respect you for 1t Harlem Life.
Mrs. oack-lf had my life to GO over
again. I wouldn't marry the best man
alive. Mr.. II, Peck this chance. Mt lasb
You bet you wouldn't. l wouldn't ask
you tc.-rhlladelphla North American.
iIc--lsn't 1t dlsagrcehblc feature Of
golf. losing the bail so often? She
Oh, no: that's the only way George and
could get out of hearing of the cad.
die FOR an instant.-lonkcrs Statesman.
Il amt goln' out on tandem with
dat Susie Mellon girl again. 10. sah."
"WhaiferT "Kase when her toes amt
collidin' with the handlc.bah. her heels
Is plowln' cutters In de ground"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
THAT actor doesn't seem at home In
his work." said the man who makes
comments. NO." replied the theatrical
manager. gloomlly. 'he isn't. But he
will he unless business gets better pref
y soon."-Washlngton Star.
Gladys-Papa's going to give us q
check mt the wedding instead of pres
cnt, Tom. Tom--All right: wen have
the ceremony nj high noon instead Of n,
4 o'clock. Gladys.-Why. what for
dearg Tom Banks close at 3.--Dctrol,
Free Press.
Major Blucgrass - When Govcrno,
Jones said to Governor Smith that 4
was - Ion: time between drinks" ics,
how long do yo' suppose he meant. sub
Major Popper-Therc Is really no tellIn
OF that. suh--any time Is q long time
when It is between drinks. suh.-Puck
Old gentleman lin omnibus, TO young
man who has not vacated his seat to nc
commodate "a lady, severcly)-When
was young. sir, would have got III
and given the lady my seat. iouni
man-Then. sir, ! am sorry to see tina
you have lost your pollteness with YOU
youth.-To-Day.
Sherlock Holmes tat burlcsGue show
That little man over there In the no!
Is n professor OF mathematics. DIR. Gu
bebs-He Is an acquaintance Of yours
Sherlock Holmes-No; never saw hin
before In my life. DR.. Cubebs-TheI
how do you know he Is professional
mathematician? Sherlock Holmes-B!
the interest he takes In the figures OF
the stage.-Ch!cagO News.