The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-09
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LOVE KILLED BY TOAST.
The Lady Objected to Being Hit With
Bread When the Butter Side Was

Bread When the Butter Side Was
Down.
From the Chicago Daily News.
Nowadays either husbands and wives
secure divorces for reasons which fifty
years ago would have been considered
trivial or else in those bygone days throw
Ing things at one you loved was not fash
ionable
For a careful reader of the divorce coll
umns in the newspapers of to-day will be
forced to admit that in nine-tenths of the
pleas the plaintiff relates how the cruel
| defendant did willfully and with ma
licious intent hurl at me on such-and-such
| a day such-and-such missiles
And these plaintiffs are pretty certain
| to secure their DEGREES. There is an In
| born reluctance in the soul of any man,
| whether or not he is a judge, to compel
| a woman to live in the same house with
| husband addicted to using her as a target
! for any of the furniture that happens to
| be lying around handy. And if it is
| husband who is pleading for separation
| the mere fact that woman is known to
| be unable to grasp the principle of straight
| throwing, does not serve her in the least,
| for the judge realizes there may be ex>
captions and nothing so lowers the dig
| nifty of a husband in his own house as to
be biffed over the head with a broken
| water pitcher or a folio volume of Brown,
| ing.
1t is pathetic, this discovery of the inn
| mense power for evil inanimate missiles
! have on human lives. 1t actually invests
a cabbage with possibilities.
| Taken from the divorce columns at ram
dom, the causes for separations in Chr
cago are both varied and unique. There
| is one little woman whose plea easily
leads. She secured divorce because her
| husband threw hot buttered toast at her
and hit her, with the butter side down
| A little exercise of Imagination will lead
any one to understand her objection to
| this form of endearment.
| There is also a man in town who, before
the judge freed him, led an agile life dodg-
| ing hot water, stove lids and lighted
lamps, which his wife had habit of
| hurting at him. He stood it till one time
the hot water and lighted lamp became
entangled with explosive results. He
| thought one missile at a time was suffi-
Client. and so sought the courts aid.
A woman got divorce because her hus-
| band threw wine bottles at her. Whether
she was a thrifty soul with an eye to
| gathering 10 cents per dozen for bottles
from the ragman and objected to the friv-
| olous use to which her husband put them
or whether she did not like the aroma of
cheap wine she neglected to state, but
! she, too, received freedom.
The men who have thrown plates at
| their objecting spouses are legion. This
is explained by the fact that nine-tenths
| of family quarrels occur at the breakfast
| table. The man or woman who Is blessed
with a sweet CHEEKY temper and good will
| toward humanity at O'Clock a. M, is
| rare enough to be enshrined in pearls and
diamonds. Many persons pretend they
feel this way but in reality down deep in
their hearts they are gritting their teeth
and yearning for revenge on something or
| somebody. Man is not meant to be a
| gregarious animal in the early hours of
sunrlse-he ought to have his breakfast
in bed or else commune with nature from
a reserved mountain peak, where no one
will cross his path. In consequence of a
! blind bucking against this basic principle
| and the horrible civilized custom Of break
fast en- famille, rebellious tempers wear
through and plates being handy, are made
| the methods OF communicating soul up
| heavals Fully half the divorces, marked
by the plea of being hit by things" mem
ton plates or other table dishes as the
objects thrown.
One man varied the usual monotonous
domestic proceedings. He grew angry at
his wife and threw a coal scuttle and the
coal therein contained at his wife. Need
less to say, he was no whipper-snapper
of a man but a brawny soil OF toll Per-
haps his wife was afraid the next time he
| might BTdD up the COOK SloNt OF the AOiu-
ing bed or the piano, and she doubted the
capability of resistance of her bones and
flesh. Anyhow, she hastily removed her
self and sought benign judge.
one man stated hts case to the Judge
with precision and clearness. 1t appears
that his liege lady had hurled at him many
things, among them "a glass, bottle and
a razor, causing great physical pain and
mental anguish" The neat turn Of words
In the latter phrase Is worthy of a decree
in itself. The sad little insinuation that
amid the application to himself Of sooth-
ing lotions the injured husband could yet
find time 10 mourn over the waywardness
of the lovely girl he had sworn to cherish
was very clever and bound TO be touch
ing.
III any razors are thrown, one may be
sure Il was a woman who threw them,
for a man has too much respect for the
edge OF his shaving instrument. And
while men may casually pick up their
wives diamond necklaces or the baby, II
| Il Is handy, and aim either OF these objects
at their wives, a woman was never known
| to throw either So even IN the moment
OF wrath determinations finds play.
Perhaps the funniest example Of absent
miniodnoss was the case OF a husband
| and wife who agreed to differ over hand.
some out-class punch bowl that was ex.
trcmely valuable. The man did not show
81 the amount OF worship the wife deem
cd necessary and the number Of times she
| rescued it from him. They almost
came 90 blows over this care
lossncss about the bowl and one day when
they were IN the dining room the discus.
sion grew 50 heated his wife went into a
white fury, and. standing BY the side.
board, she grabbed for the nearest thing
| handy-which CHANGED 70 be the cut-glass
bowl IN 0iestlon-and throw Il at her hus.
husband with all her inspired might II