The Red Cloud chief., 1897-01-08
HERE AND THERE.

lnase pictures appear on the buttons. !
This is a new fad and will work its way !
west.-Wymorc Wymorean.
"Dingley Bill dead" SAID the Okla.
homa man, who was reading the news.
paper. 81 thought | knowed every
desperate from the Arkansas river to
gulf, but he's a icy one to me-"
An Indiana man has sworn a solemn
oath never to have his hair cut until
Bryan is elected president. He might
as well lay in n stock of hairpins now,
while they're cheap.-Cincinnati Com.
mcrcial Tribune.
The whistle of q locomotive can be
heard $500 yards, the noise of a train
$500 yards, the report of a musket and
the bark Of a dog 1900 yards, the roll
of a drum l,6OO yards, the croak Of a
frog 900 yards, a cricket chirp 800
yards, a dinner bell two miles, and a
call to got up in the morning three feet
seven inches.-Twinkles.
Will Mitchell, a former resident Of
this city, new living at Guide Rock,
has purchased the hardware b~usiress
Of A. Morhart and will take possession
shortly. Will is 81 energetic young
man and his many friends will be glad
to hear Of his new departure. The
CHIEF wishes him success Mr.. Nor.
hart will look after other business in.
terests here.
The Nation says, Geo. Conley. q
barber who has been working for VIM.
Zeluf for a few weeks left town last
week. He had been boarding at Mrs.
Sapp's and vas compelled to leave a
good coat and vest to balance up his
board bill" There is one of the editors
OF the Nation who left q board bill ut
the same place. He was not honorable
enough to leave a good coat and vest
to balance up his beard either. II
Bernard had had two al to give away
he might have done so but he wouldn't.
Persons who are troubled with in
digestion will be interested in the ex
p%erisnee Of VIM. H. Penn, chief clerk
in the railway mail service at Des
Moines, Iowa, who writes: 1T gives
me pleasure to testify to tho merits Of
Chamberlain's Collie, Cholera and
Diarrhea Remedy. For two years I
have suffered from indigestion, and Am
subject to frequent severe attacks Of
pain in tho stomach and bowels. One
or two doses Of this remedy never fails
to give perfect relief. Price 90 and so
cents; sold by H. f. Grics, Druggist.
Sing a song of swelled head, q fellow
full Of gin, coming home at four Am,
his wife won't let him in. His feet are
full OF tanglefoot, his head Is full of
wheels; the ksyhsle runs around the
the knob, and he a funny feeling feels.
He puts his feet upon the porch, his
head upon the ground, and all the
time within the knob the wheels are
going round. He thinks that he is
sober and every one is tight, he thinks
he's in the bedroom instead of out all
night. But when the morning cometh
and 1t cometh Don at that, he looks
around and murmers "Great ScOtt!"
Where am ! at."-StOlen.
A couple at Pierce, attended a
theatre n evening when the young
lady complained Of feeling very faint.
The young man gave her a cheering
smile, took something out of his vest
pocket and whispered to keep "the
tablet" in her mouth, but not to swallow
it. She shyly placed it on her tongue
and rolled it owe and over, but it
would not dissolve. She felt better,
however. When the show was over
she slipped the tablet in her glove
being quite curious to examine at
home this tasteless, indissoluble little
substance which had given her such re.
lief in the opera house. When alone
in her room she pulled off her glsvs
and out came-a pants button!-Fullsr.
ton Post.
Webb Wilder relates in bis "annals
Of Kansas" that In 1854, when the first
tide of New England settlers began to
drift hitherward, the Missourians tied
a COW at each crossing Of the Missouri
river. When an immigrant arrived at
the crossing he was certain to make
some remark about the animal, and if
he said "cow" he was allowed to cross,
but II he said "keow" he was hustled
back east and out Of the country as q
bloody minded sb%olitionist. In re.
taliation for this 1t Is said the Kansas
fellows tied Q bear on their side Of the
river, and when an immigrant crossed
who called 1t "bear" he was welcomed
with open arms, but the fellow who
called 1t ''bar'' was scooted back into
Missouri as an unwelcOme slavery adj
vocate.-Clay Center Times,