Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-06-23
TEA-TABLE SALAD.

Yes, dear" How'll [ get back ~
Cincinnati Commercial-Tribu
THAT cat made an awful noise in tie
back garden last night" Eyes, father.
| suppose that since he ate the canary he
thinks he can sing. "-Cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
Bacon-'What do you suppose is the
meaning of this long rain?'' Egbert-
'Oh, | think possibly it is out Of com
pliment to Queen Victoria s. "-Yonkcrs
Statesman.
Zone swallow does not make q sum-
mer," remarked the observer Of men and
| things, but it sometimes makes a sea
serpent, and that's good start DE
trOit Journal.
First Tramp-"The lady over yonder
tried to get me to work for a cent
Second Tramp-"May be she took you
! Tor one OF those penny-in-the-slOt ma
chimes. "-Yonkers Statesman.
Restricted Freedom-''The style of
| Queen Victoria's bonnet hasn't Teen
changed for twenty-five years" 'Wcll,
that's what she gets for living under a
monarchy. "-Chicago Record
Impecunious Count Cooking at por-
trait of his ancestors)-"Lucky fellows,
you old robber barons! You only took
| the cash of the money-bags. We have
to take their daughters, oo."-Fliegende
| Batter.
A Remarkable Woman.-Mr. McCor-
| kle-"My wife has better memory than
| any other woman [ know Mr.. Nc
| Crackle-"Indeed? Mr.. McCorkle-
eyes; she always remembers what's
trumps Judge
| One Second Beforet the Fight-OHara
Say, Moike, do yez know why yez re
moinds me ay wan O thin bicycles?"
| McGoagan-"No, Tim, why?" OHara
-"Becaze yez thravels mostly on wind"
Cleveland Leader.
glove, that was terrible. Man fell
| overheard in mid-ocean the other day
and never was seen again." said Hicks
''DrOwnedT' asked Mrs. Hicks
ooh, no-of course not. Sprained his
ankle probably said Hicks-Harlem
Life.
Teacher Ito class in geography
What is latitude?" Johnny Squanch-
The distance north or south from the
equator" What is the distance east
or west from given meridian calledT'
"Er-er-lassitude, ma am. '-Harper's b.
Ear.
Herbert Watts is a clever fellow He
couldn't find an umbwellah that would
roll tight enough to suit him. What do
you suppose he did?'' Il cawn't mag
inc" He had an umbwelah covah
made for his cane. "-Cleveland Plain
dealer.
Advice from the Heart.-Barrow-
Chats a dandy wheel you have there,
old man. I'll take a little spin on it
some day. By the way, what kind of a
wheel do you think l ought to ride?"
Marrow-"One of your own.''-Brooklyn
Life.
Il can go away for the summer this
year and not worry all the time II
congratulate you" Eyes, l went to the
gas company and got them to accept a
lump sum i'll advance in payment for
the gas we shan't use while we're gone
Detroit Journal.
A Game Law in -Gobang-'I
think I'll do quite little shooting this
summer e.; | wonder what, the close sea
old man, fancy if you applied to the
Legislature, they'd throw the whole year
open to you. Truth
Senatorial Courtesy-Senator Silver
Does. the gentleman mean to say that
[ lie" Senator Fence-'The gentleman
has too much regard for the courtesies OF
the chamber to utter the sentiment SO
aptly expressed by his learned friend. =
Philadelphia North American
A minister who formerly preached in
Somervllle had 4 little boy. A few days
his new parish one of his neighbors said
to the little boy: 80 your father is going
to work in New Bedford, is hep ooh,
no. he said; only preach. "-Somerville
Journal.
Not Much Luck-''Are the fish bring
well today?" asked a man of boy who
was fishing in brook not far from RCS-
ton. THE fish do not bite, SIR replied
the boy respectfully "They swallow the
bait, and the hook imbeds itself in their
mouth: But they are very wary today,
sir."-Puck
A country curate, calling on the great
lady of the village, introduced his newly
married wife as "a poor thing, madam,
but mine own" whereupon the lady,
looking upon the curate severely, replied:
Your wife ought to have introduced
Time and the Hour.
A former friend, who met Robert
Lowe, afterWard Viscount Sherbrooke.
in London, is said to have accOsted him
with the remark: "Don't you remember
me? [ used to know you in Australia
and to have met with the rebuff, Eyes,
and when | meet you again in Australia,
L shall be happy to know you"
Prison Visitor-"Why are you here,
takin'. a loaf o bread and a ham bone,
num-" How sad!' 'You bet your
life it was sad. Wy, lady right along
side O that bread an meat was dozen
bottles 0, beer, and I didn't know nothin'
about it.'-Indianapoiis Journal.
1HIuhIIS A1Ouu. MIS-.
George, why were you swearing so ter
ribly III the backyard just now?' Mr.
Phillips Swearing, my dear? Did
swear? Well, bless me, l was so busy
getting those pieces of wire distentangled
from the laWnmOWer that / didn't know
| had time to do anything else -CleYe- |
land Leader.
you have a lovely head for ad-writing
l don't think said the manager
What have l done this time?' asked !
the ad man.
JUST look at that catch line for Snooze
& Sleeper's, will you" and the unhappy
manager pointed to display" begin
Rest! Typographical Journal.
She read her essay at the rehearsal in |
clear and distinct manner.
Il think, said the principal chat you
had better cut it a little shorter
Teas came to the sensitive younsg
girls eyes.
Why she whimpered, glancing down
her graduating gown, 'it comes only |
down to my boottops now !'-Cleyeland |
Plaindealer.
1t was past midnight. and M. Ivremort |