The age-herald., 1897-10-10
Bab Writes
 About FasbioDs.


 solid. Consequently, whenever Mme. Chinois gets little hard up she doesn't 1 make racket in the establishment by l trying to get a little more than her usual allowance from monsieur, nor does she borrow from her woman friends or play against her luck at ] poker Not she. She simply marches off to the place where they make the money, takes off her bracelets, throws them in one side of the scales, and the l obliging money maker heaps up the other side with money until the weight of the bracelet is reached. You see, as 1 there is no work on it, it is worth ex- actly what it weighs in the money of the realm, whether 1t be in nice gold pieces, horrid silver dollars or iron pen4 nies, according to the bracelets. 1t seems a much more convenient fashion than carrying purses, for one is so apt to lose one's purse. And then you have just as many bracelets as you can af- ford or as your admiring family may ] give you. It must be confessed that they are rather heavy to wear, but it's curious what a woman will endure when her woe represents money.
 Do you know anybody who bows we'll? The average man raises his hat l in the stiffest, most suited manner or else does it in such hurry and grina l so during the operation that the locker i on cannot but wonder if anything has suddenly affected the muscles of his l face. The Willieboy lifts his hat about two inches from his head and replaces it with gesture that suggests his be- l ing wound up like the mechanical dolls. 1 The average woman mods, and she usu- ally looks sulky, though she may not feel so. This is the result of forcing i herself never to look pleasant on the street, because of the quickness with which some stray man may capture the smile and claim it for his own. An- i other type. of woman may meet the man she adores and give him the most coldly indifferent bend of the head-a something which bespeaks recognition l but not appreciation. This indifferent l bow always piques a man, because the l chances are he has been telling some l companion that Here comes a charm+ l ing woman whom I know very well,''l and this very slight nod seems to give him the go by and to make his state- ment appear what his English cousin would call tarradiddle. The art of lowing consists in being able to grade ones bow according to ones acquaint- l ance.
 A slight smile and a bend of the head to those who are well known is l good form, while perfectly impassiVe face and a more formal bow to those 1 who are almost strangers is sufficient. 1 The gushing bow is more to be avoided than anything else-in fact, the girl who l gushes will in a very short time damn herself socially, and, realizing what has caused it, she will be more than willing i to pay a messenger boy 35 cents an l hour to say bad words for her because of the position in which she finds her. self through her own stupidity.
 When people got back to New York, they were greeted by a hot spell and then by cold spell, and as they say in the game, the consequence was that everybody caught cold. From the lady in silks and laces down to that other lady who halls from Erin in blanket l shawl, there is this one democratic trouble that is too too common En- tire households are afflicted with it. Brave men and fair women bend before it. Who can make love to girl who l snuliles? Or who can admire a man with a swollen nose and his eyes swinl-
 ming With water? Everybody has a different remedy. Hot Scotch and a | foot bath is oftenest recommended by
 the men, while some sort of plaster l and black draught, or Dover's pow I der, or large dose of quinine and hot I lemonade are advised by the women l folks. l don't approve of women doe 1 tors any more than I do of women law yers, but like to hear the amateur ex- ploit her knowledge and try her doses on some innocent victim. For this req | son, and this only, 1 am willing to tell | the world at large what I advise for a ] cold. First, dress your chest in a mus tard plaster. Wear it until you have an idea how it must feel to be in the | inferno while little host of devils di- rect that all the fire shall be aimed at l your chest and that alone. Then take black draught. A black draught is | truthful in its name. It is as black as f-the ace of spades, and it tastes and | smells like a combination of a photo l graph gallery and the morgue. But it's wonderful in it's effect. Some people take bottleful of it as dose, but they belong to a race of giants; others con- sume the half of bottle, but I only 1 advise two tablespoonfuls. After tho | joys of the mustard plaster and the | bliss of the black draught sleep with | hot water bag-let it be a movable | bliss-perambulating around wherever you may feel chilly. This treatment will cure cold and is the only one | recommend under any circumstances. It is true that some people prefer to have the cold, but they are the people who dosnot really enjoy life. It is unpleasant when you like someA body to have somebody else wonder what you can see in him; or when you enjoy play to have somebody wonder how such trifles could amuse you; or when you eat bit of candy to have them ask how sensible woman can consume such stuff and then tell you what it's made of. All these things ara very unpleasant However, they do ex-s. st, and the only thing that one can do is to smile and ignore them. At leasf that's the policy of
 - ses