Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-06-03

During the reign Of Charles the Sec
ond one Signor Lett proposed to write
history Of the court. you will give
offense," urged his friends. "Were 1
as wise as Solomon said Lett, 81
could not avoid that Then be as
wise" rejoined the king, who was pres
ent, and write proverbs, not history"
Z DR.. Oliver Wendell Holmes N once
made an address in his native town to
a medical association. The president
of the association was the son of a man
who had been the druggist OF the vii
lage when DR.. Holmes had studied
medicine there. 1T is good to lock at
this young man. said the genital auto
crat, 'and trace his fathers liniments
in his face" M: 3ui.~e7 T. 10 .,f..s -',t-
~ On one occasion Gordon told Cecil
Rhodes the story of the offer Of q room,
full Of gold which had been made to him
BY the Chinese government after he
had subdued the Tai-Ping rebellion.
What did you dor" said Rhodes. IRE
fused it, of course, ..-~esaiti Gordon;
what would you have d0negl II would
have taken it," said Rhodes, land as
many more roomfuls as they would
give me. 1t Is no use for lis to have
big ideas If we have not got the money
to carry them out"3oADG1; aAI js"f
Two green reporters. Englishmen,
were sent by the city editor OF a news
paper to a suburban town to write up
the burning of an orphan asylum. Late
that night, when the news editor was
wondering why no copy about the
fire was coming by wire, = telegraph
messenger rushed in and handed him
dispatch. He opened 1t and read:
''Dear Sir: We are here What shan
/, we DOR 1t was signed with the names
of the two men sent to "wrfte up the
fire. The news editor made a few re-
marks; then he wrote on a telegraph
blank this brief message: Find out
where the fire is hottest and jump In :
Several days ago Congressman Wat
son sent several large sacks Of flower
and garden-seeds home for distribution
among his constituents. The papers
announced this fact, and for three days
there was a constant stream of
persons coming to the Congressman's
law Office in Columbus On the last
day, a man came up and asked for
beans. He was given two packages.
He demurred to this, and reached over
into the sack and began to fill his peck
cts. When called down by the attend
ant, the lover of beans said: Il haven't,
got enough for q mess yet. 1t takes
more than a quart Of beans to make .
mess for my family" A@ fat Hs,iJa:h'at'5s
Canon Anger, master Of the Temple,
Is great favorite with children, and
upon one occasion was asked to assist
as Juvenile party. o Arriving at what
he thought was his destina ton, a house
in row of others exactly alike, the
canon made his way up to the drawing
room. Don't announce me" said he to
the domestic, and tilereupon the rever-i
end gentleman went down upon all
fours., ruffled up his white hair. and
crawled into the room,a uttering the
growls Of an angry Polar bear. What
was his horror and amaZement to find
when he got into the room two old la
dies petrified with establishment. He
had found his way into the next door
house, instead of into the one to which
he was hidden. t'it" j@A Ea8@H Is g
h The proudest moment Of Nelson's life
Is said to have been when he received
the swords Of the officers of the San
josef. Nelson's ship, which was the
smallest Of her class In the service at
that time, was dismasted, and upwards
Of eighty Of the crew killed and wound
ed, Nelson himself being wounded The
CuIloden, commanded by . Nelson's
friend, Captain Trowbridge, who fol-
lowed Nelson's lead in the breach Of
orders which resulted in this famous
capture, lost even more heavily. For
his breach Of discipline, Jervis did not
mention Nelson's name in dispatches;
but when one of his captains pointed
out the disobedience to is orders, aihe
promptly said: when you, commit q
like offense I'll forgive YOU ra., d, /
Some time ago, at a fashionable ssa,y
IOu, luCs odIUu AAu4clAE, WIS ONe .0l u
group to whom he was imparting an
account Of his pedigree, which, he
claimed, was derived from the Pf1a-
raohs of Egypt. Just then Baron dc
iRothschild approached the group, and
one of its members called out, Baron,
come and let me make You acquainted
with the Baron d Almerie.2 He comes
of Pharaonic stock. and you, ought, to
know, each other yes" said Baron
de- Rothschild, bowling gravely. II
think said the Baron a. Almerie. .you
should know our family, dis your ances-
tors took from us'certain pledges when
they decampedi from Egypt -Tfue,,,
replied Baron de Rothschild, "but those,
pledges were redeemed by "a check On,
the Bank Of the Red Scar ,5st,5,a.1,9 i.
re- =, III order to boom business, an enter
prising grocer on q. certain day. adyer-.
tised several thousand five-cent loayes
eof bread for sale at one cent each. His
rival was In despair until brilliant
idea, came into his head. He hired q
z =. u ..~ ~ ~