Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-12-09
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II asked our doctor his motto the
other night" what did he sayr'
Patience and long suffering" Pick
Me-Up.
Il want to see the lady OF the house,
II am She" "a thousand pardonsi
You look SO happy and SO Independent.
felt sure you We're the servant"
Parson Johnson-So dis little chile
am gal. Do de udder one belong toe
de contrary sex? Mrs. Jackson ais.
pahson; OATS gal, too.-Judge.
THAT man singing Only One Girl in
the World for Me-" has been married
three times" well, that's all right:
he means only one girl ut time."-
Chicago Record.
Il see," said the shoe clerk boarder.
that there is king in Africa who has
been drunk for fifteen years." That"
said the Cheerful Idiot, sis what might
be called soaking reign."-Indianap
oils Journal.
dichael, what kind of a tree Is
that" THE one beyant the binch.
mumy' Eyes, that large tree" "Wid
the little green one to the lift?' eyes;
what is it?' ''rhey do be calling that
shade-tree. mum."-Brooklyn Life.
She Heard 1t First.-Bob Borrower
What! You say you can't lend me ten
dollars to-day because you haven't got
it-why, l heard you made five hum
dred dollars yesterday, on wheat! Tom
Tooler ACKNOWLEDGEMENT, so did my
wife.-Puck.
Last night" said Mr.. Booze, 'T
made remark to the effect that had
one OF the greatest heads In the ward"
Something of the Sort" said his wife.
well, this morning l feel fully pre-
pared to say that was right."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
Wheeler-Have you learned to make
the repairs on your wheel yet? Sprock
No; l never shall, either. 1 haven't
a bit of mechanical genius. ''Oh, yes
you have" Indeed haven't. I
couldn't even invent car coupler
Cincinnati Enquirer.
A Useful Art.-"Of course" said one
old farmer to the other, "your boy il
learnin' Latin and Greek at college,
but Is he gettin' anything practicalY'
"Oh, yes. In the last letter he writ, he
tells me he is takin' lessons In fencin'."
Detroit Free Press.
Violet-How did Mr.. Bighed come to
accept the doctrine OF reincarnatioA
Roosevelt, you know, he always, had
an impression that the world couldn't
get along without him, and If that is
so, 1t stands to reason that he will
have to come back.-Truth.
How old would you guess her to
be?" "Oh, about % would be a safe
guess" "She's surely older than
thatY' 81 said % would be a safe
guess. 1t is always safer to under
guess woman's age. She may hear
of t."-Indianapolis Journal.
"And, in spite of all the light that
has been brought into your lives, you
still burn missionaries" The savage
was palpably confused. EYES," he an
swered, sadly; Il must confess that civ
ilization doesn't seem TO have made
our cooks appreclably better."-Puck.
what this country wants to do"
said the reformer, 'is to raise the re-
quirements for office-holders." Eek
actly So" replied Senator Sorghum;
land allow me to remind you that the
principal requirement of an Office
holder is his salary. Washington
Star.
mo man ever obtained anything
worth having without working hard
for It," said Mrs. Bickers to her hus-
band, who was in discouraged mood.
That's So" replied Mr.. Bickers, re-
fiectively. II remember that l obtain
ed you without the slightest difficult
ty."
A naughty little boy was crying be-
cause his mother wouldn't let him 60
down to the river on the Sabbath, and,
on being admonished, said: II didn't
want to in in swimmin with 'em, ma
/ only wanted to go down aRd-and see
the bad little boys get drowned for
goin' In swimmin' on Sunday"
II thought that Miss Homewoods
essay was much the best of all those
read at the commencement" That's
odd. / never knew that she had much
literary ability. What was the sub
iect Of her essay?" "How to Make a
Cherry Pie."-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tel-
egraph.
Now, Johnnie" said the teacher.
''tell me what an engineer isT' HE Is
n man that works an engine" replied
Johnnie. Correct" said the teacher.
snow, Tommy can you tell me what n
pioneer isT' Eyes, sir" answered
Tommy; "he's a man that works a
piano"
George" said the senior partner to
the Junior, in a law-firm of three, IL
thought you told me that Alfred had
gone out of town on legal business? I
understand he's down the road on q
visit to a young lady" "Well, sir"
said George, with an injured look, ''it's
not illegal to call on young lady, I
believe"
Mamma, what Is hereditaryY ask
ed little Robby, laboriously tripping
over the syllables of the long word.
"why, 1t is-it is anything you get
from your father or me-" replied the
mother, a little puzzled for definition
suited to his years. "Oh, know" he
exclaimed, you mean spankin'.