The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-07-24

| which was his form of sorrow, and extended
his hand.
Mr.. Douglas Martin took it coidly ant
measured Mr.. Wattles with his eyes pro
fess!onary, and said mentally he woult
| take No. 6.
After moment Of exchange Of searching
glances, Martin said:
Mr. Wattles, how do you like The
| church?'
"Homogenereously speaking. Mr.. Martin
| the church. 1 believe initiates the condi.
ton of mankind"
| You don't mean to say that you believe
everything in the Bible?'' asked Martin
taking the lead in turning the conversation
in another way because he had not under
srood Wattles' reply.
| Il should say not" cried Peter
But you ought to. as Christian" dolo-
riously protested Martin.
"wen 1 guess not, honey, not this Ammo
| Dornini. What you take me for? An In
fant?'
You ought to believe every word, Mr.
Wattles.''
''But 1 don't. Now just looky here ]
was reading that old Bible this morning
| Say-Did you ever hear about Nebnezzar
and the three guys that wouldn't callous
their knees before his image Of gold?"
II don't believe 1 ever did," said Martin
really IN doubt
We'll. There's an example that's pat.
You see this took place before old Nebnez-
Ear was turned out TO pasture on the Texas
side of the quarantine line"
WHAT" said Martin turning red
why didn't you ever hear of Nebnezzar
chewing cud just Ike a cow and burning
his foot on the lariat rope. and all that?'
Does the Bible say that?" demanded
Martin with a strange feroc.ty.
Yes, SIR
I'm those words?''
mo. Not exactly in those words. But
hold up there Let me tell you that story.
You see old Nebby was king of Asa, and
as rich as a tramp in his dreams behind a
drugstore stove on a winters night. And
Old Neb set up big gold statue at was
three hundred Cubas high and all gold,
teeth and ALL
Teeth" murmured Martin.
eyes, teeth and all. Why, say, IL you
could have stolen the ear off of that thing
you could have been rich for life. Well,
Neb issued a proclamation saying: %, peo-
pie. whenever you hear the cornet and the
flute and the harp and the bass drum and
the fife and the trombone play, crawl down
on your marrow bones and worship this
statue"
Martin now remembered the passage, and
suddenly filled up and coughed at Wattles'
substitution for the cornet, the flute harp,
sackbut, psaltery and dulcimer.
That wasn't ALL" Peter continued THE
chief auctioneer yelled again: All ga
ehx- fad
fall down and worship this thing. Neb won.
do a thing to them. to-wit; They will be
cast into a fiery furnace and fried TO
fare-ye-well."
Fried to a fare-ye-well?" queried Mar
int blowing. not breathing. Surely the
Bible doesn't say that?''
Yes It does. Well. the orchestra started
UP and everybody Topped down. including
the fellows who was playing the corner
and flute and harp and bass drum and fife
and trombone"
Say. Mr.. Wattles," said Martin with
words measured under repression. 1.-THE
Bible puts in a cabinet organ too"
Il forgot that" said Wattles fnnocently
well when the orchestra started I'D down
they dropped on their marrow bones. every
body but some Jews"
The police spotted 'em. Their names
was Shadrach and Meshach and Abednegc
and they were pulled on the spot and taken
before the police judge Neb. and he said:
When you hear the orchestra start M
why don't you get down and 90 the proper
thing by that statue OF mine? If YOU
don't said Neh. III fry the beaswax out
OF YOU Well these three men sad right
there that they wasn't in the worsh.ping
business around that statue ANA that if he
chucked EN- in the fiery furnace the One
they worshiped wouldn't let EN- burn. but
if He did. they weren't going TO worship
any Of Nebby's counterfeit goods.
well re was that hot. old Neb was. that
he roared TO heat up the furnace seven
times hotter than usual. and he got the
biggest buffers in his army and said 10
them: When the fires good and hot. slide
those fellows UP and put EN- IN the oven
Well, the big buffers opened up the furnace
door and the draught was that strong that
when they went 10 put in the three men
they were pulled in themselves and eaten
up right before the kings eyes Mean
while the three men had dropped on the rel
hot bottom Of the furnace and--now this IS
what the Bible says-they Just got up there
1
OF il, About Ss5 Fahrenheit in the shade
and those fellows walking around smiling
out through the flames az Nebnezzar and
telling h,m to stir up the fire as they were
chilling"
Mr.. Martin gave a ioud snort
Wattles turned upon him suspiciouslv
but saw only the red. grave face OF the un-
dertaker. 1t kind OF unraveled the old
king" ne continued, ito see those fellows
dancing around in there chiily-I.ke and
talking about the price OF over-coats and
he goes up 10 the door and says; Get out !
you're liable 20 catch you're death Of cold
Well they came cut and there wasn't a
halr on EN- singed- The fire hadn't touch-
ed them. Old Nebby was paraiyze5 and |
announced that hereafter no one should |
worship any but their God ard II any c!ti-
zen was found throwing himself before the |
gold statue low. he would oe cut Up i-tc /.
slrlo.n and round steaks, and he promoted /
the fellows who had praoce5 around there /
In the fiery furnace
And the orchestra asked Martin h.s /
eyes buiging
oh. that was dischargei' ]
The agitation OF laughter feeds on i:s
Martin had never heard NJ
Wattles before. lie dared not laugh. a15 /
lie mora ne kept II down The more dan
ye-onsIy nez- complete explosion he came
he gathered lis faculties together with a.
Effort ard asked:
You don't believe thatF
No" answered Natties
SSpon't think Re butt q statue Of COLL -
oh yes. BE nigh; nave done that"
Don't believe ;hose fellows could walk
n hot iron. 90 yca-'
Yes !; n-Ea; have been tr.ck- Thar