The times., 1897-03-28

"Faix, they have" replied Mike Orac-
| ulariy The wise min have invinted two
horrible diseases -appendycutus and athero-
matous deginerashun
And what's this appindy y-sOmethin-
or-tother like. Mickey? Does it break
out on ye Ike the measles OF the small
pox, or how?"
NO. thin. II do not, replied Mickey
''Ye musht know, father, that some
where inside of livery man, where ye'Ie
alltwisted up like the roots Of grapevine,
| there's ,Iinky little thing like a warrum
| the doctors call a vermform. Wei. for al
| their wisdom the doctors can't find out
| what this is for. except TO make people
AK foolish questions Shure it has no more
| use in a mans body nor a mosquito They
have another name for this, and 1t is
| appendix do We mind, which names
stuck on where it oughtn't TO be, beln
| of no use. like a burdock on a goat Well.
| this vcrmifOrn has queer thncks Entirely.
| 'Tis hollow, and it iist sits around inside
of a man waitin' for a grape seed or
CARPET tack, or somethn' small and hard
| 10 come along, and swalIys the thing,
wbatlver it may be. and thin your name
| is Dennis
"Arrah. Mickey, me lad" exclaimed Mr.
Finn, but that's a terrible dis 'ase It's
| horrible, so 'tis But where is it?'' CON
| tinned Nr Finn. anxiously. expl oring
| his ribs and contagious regions with his
| fingers. and already feeling inCipient
| appendicitis.
| 'Tis no use feeling for it father, con
tinued little Mike, with mournfuI shake
OF the head Yen niver see it till the
| doctors show rO
And now will they get it, inquired Mr.
| Finn.
.'They'll cut q hole in yer body and take
| it out and show it to We. But that's all
| the satisfaction ven have, for ven die
| ANYHOW on account o the hole they cut in
ye."
militia. murther.'' exclaimed Mr.. Finn.
| devoutiy crossinl, himself ana trying to
call the last time ne had swallowed
| grape-secd or carpet-tack- But tell me.
what's teat other dis s'ase We were sp' akin
| abouto Is 1t catchin?"
No replied Mickey, smiling to himself
| in the darkness at the fear he hadinspired
| in his father .Atheromatous deginerashun
is a dienacious dis ase intirely, and its
| mighty hard on min over forty yearsold.
"D'ye tell me that, Mickey" cried Mr..
/
| already passed his firtieth yearstone.
| And what's the rn'anin' o. thin quare
| Words
NOW, listen close. father said Micky,
| placing his right forefingcr in the palm of
| his left hand: Its 'nolledge I'm givin'
| We. The word atheromatous is Greek and
| it ma'nes chalk The Greeks have quare
| way of wastin' letters. dye see, father,
4 ,In lott n
| would do as well; there we are, as the
| bull said whn he tossed O'ShaunncSSy
| over the wall. Now. ye have the half of
| it explained to yer satisfaction, l hope. y
| yer right. Mickey" said Mr.. Finn, adj
miringly. ''Yen be a ly'yer one o these
| DAYS But what's the m amin o. the other
| big word?
| ..De-giil-era-shun' continued little Mike.
lis quare word. very quare word Yen
notice 'tis longer nor atheromatOus- De
istaken fromthc Latin. Yen hear thepriest
| say De profundus. Gin Tbat'sa a DoOtch
| word taken from Holland gin ."
AVE. lad" interrupted Mr.. Finn. II
| have often seen it on the bottles in Bra
| dy's."
Faith, ye did, thin. father continued
| little Mike. Il see ye have eddicashm yer
\
| and sshun' is a Yankee word inyinted by
| the temperance men, m'aain' for ye to go
by whisky aud lave it alone. Wei, now ye
have it all explained. Now, whin We have
all thin little words put up agin atch other,
cheek by iowI. ye have word which m'anes
We are loSin' yer grip; We are dyin' of ossy-
faction caused by chalk or lime. which is
the same thing. on tits horrible dis ase-
livery man has it, and ye have 1t ycrself- :"
60 long, ye scut ye.'' exclaimed Mr.
| Finn. in alarm. Don't be tellin' lies,
Mickey. niver had amy sickness in
me life, barrin rhumatiz and touch
of a cowld. Does it give We amy pain.
Mickey"
'Divvil pain" replied the amateur
physician lit comes so aisy ye don t
notice it, livery time we breathe ye make
it worse for ye father ould athero-ma-
tous is KILN ye by inches"
mickey, We larrup, We, show me how
! have that dis ase, or I'll Fave me heavy
hand on yer
! well, ye needn't be ballyraggin' me.