Evening star., 1897-04-03
PUZZLED THE LINGUIsTs.
No One Thought to Address Him in
English.

No One Thought to Address Him In
English.
From the New York World.
Schneider, you know, was held up until
the immigrs ton people had found bis bag
gage But Schneider said nothing. even
though they put him in the detention pen
with lot Of Slovaks and a handful OF
Liverpool stowaways.
Schneider had arrived on the Majestic.
and he was sad. He really objected in
wardly to the loss of his things. because
he said so afterward. But that was all
subsequent to the fun he had had unwit-
tingly with the immigration inspectors.
1t Is a well-known fact that these i'm
migration people speak more languages
than you will hear in two months on the
entire East Side. Only once have they
been stumped and that was when Hot
tentot Bushman came along with Few
labial gymnastics that set a-guessing every
man on the island
While Schneider was moaning In the pen
Chief Clerk Lederhilger came along. Chanc-
ing to observe the melancholy appear
ance of the man, he turned toward him.
Now 1t happened that Schneider, besides
having q sort of Teutonic air, wore clothes
of unmistakable German origin. So natur-
ally Lederhilger addressed him in German.
''Sind Sic Deutsch?" he asked. Schneider
bumped up his shoulders. spread out his
palms and shook his head
Funny" murmured the clerk to himself,
II would have sworn to 1t, too
And Schr elder stood with a curious look
upon his face while the chief clerk went
after the French interpreter Presently
Mr.. LederLilger returned with the French
inspector. Calmly and confidently the In
terpreter strode smiling toward Schneider.
and when in range hurled out explosively:
"Etes-vous Francais?"
Again Schneider shrugged his shoulders
and nodded negatively
well, WE'LL" said the chief clerk. "I'll
just get the Russian interpreter now. He'll
fetch him, surely
So pretty soon the Russian interpreter
came along, easy and pop-sure of getting
Schneider down to fine point.
Just you watch" said he, "Pll get him. "
Ill" said he. walking up to the moody
immigrant, "Zawarte Pa Rusku hay. Red
den Sic Yiddish?"
Schneider moved his seat hastily to an
other part of the room. where he sat vio-
lently shs king his head. 1t was painfully
evident that he didn't understand. 1t was
also evident that he was beginning to be-
come alarmed. By this time all the other
Interpreters had heard something was up,
so they ca me streaming in by ones and
twos and squads. and up the stairs and
through the doorways. and one climbed
over the gate And all the while Schnei-
der's alarm rose higher and he sat with a
| look of great apprehension upon his face
"Just let me try him. said the Italian
interpreter: "Hi-Sieta Italiann-si?"
Schneider bobbed his head negatively and
protested with his lands. Then they sur
rounded him and shot off a bombardmen1
| of polyglot questions calculated to con-
| fuse the senses Of a polar bear. which al
bestis alv ays calculated to keep cool.
''Habla suited Espanol?" cried the Span
| ish interpreter.
"Konne tolla Svensk?' roared the Scan
dinavian.
"Thiggin thu Gaeldaedh?' piped a mar
| that had a smattering OF Gaelic.
| "Cmwvir fan ffacken?" was the tafry OF
| the Welsh Inspector.
"Che pan muvish po RusKi?' yelled the
| Polish Interpreter. ''Che pau Polish?"
| BY this time Schneider was backed w
against the wall with his hands out.
| stretched to ward off the horde.
| Maybe he's a Hottentot" some one
roared. and a red-faced man leaned oveI
| and screamed XXI bobbiri WalI? XII bob
| biri WALTZ" But then some one cried ou
in English. That amt Hottentot. yor
| mud-hen. That's Hindoostanee!' Ther
| Schneider began to yell. too.
| Hay he cried. what is this anyway
| lunatic asylum or what? Lemme out!'
| Good laws" said the inspectors. "he's
| an American!"
That's what I am" said Schneider
| land 1 want to get out" And he got.