The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-11-17
Paragraphs About Men and Women.

OF spicy eplgrams reprinted by the y.
S. Ogilvie Company by arrangement
with the New York Press. There has
been good deal Of guessing as to
whether or no ''P. W." is a married
man, opinions differing widely on the
subject. One critic says, "The au-
torship of the captivating Reflections
of bachelor remains incog., but we
are confident that the author is un-
marricd-because he knows so little. "
Another: "Refcctions of a Bachelor
is very clever work-because the au-
thor has been married these 40years. !"
Here are few of his reflections:
The smallest and biggest thing in the
world is the heart cf little child.
A woman knows just about as much
about politics as a man does when to
leave off his winter underclothes.
"A bald-headed man never cares
much for ghost stories.
There never was married woman
who sympathized with an old bache-
lor. and there never was married
man who didn't.
Culture is woman ability to smile
naturally when a waiter spills gravy
| down the front of her dress at a din
ner party.
You can size up a man pretty well
by thinking whether he is most Like a
| crab, guinea pig or an oyster.
The average woman's idea of econo-
my is never to throw away sour milk.
There is nothing as aggravating as a
man with irregular habits, unless it's
a woman with regular ones.
Love is disease, and marriage is
generally it's best anti-tozin.
When girl is 20, she writes love
| with an exclamation point; when shes
30 she uses question mark.
If every man could see the girl he is
in love with eat her dinner when no.
body was watching her, there would
be more old bachelors.
I wonder how the ministers know
the Sunday newspapers are so bad.
Some women would rather have a
hyphen in their names than home.
St. Peter couldn't have been mar,
ried; if he had been, he wouldn' have
the heart to keep any married man out
of heaven.
A woman never makes so many ex'
cuses to company for the looks of the
house as she does just after she has
spent two whole days getting it ready,
Love is like hash; you never know
what you are likely to strike in it.
Women aren't the only gossips.
Women's hearts are like egg shells
"a great deal tougher than they seem,
A woman will cry over pathetic
baby story, and then box her chill
dren's ears because they won't be
quiet and let her read.
When all the women callers insist
that his first baby is a perfect image
of himself, a man sneaks up in the
garret and looks in a looking-glass.
A man wears love about as long as
he does suit of clothes; woman
wears it as long as she does her hair
A man would rather be henpeckec
than have a double chin.
Next to teaching girl to play
whist, man loves BEST to hold the
cans while his wife puts up peaches.
He who loves and runsaway vii
live to love another day.
It's not that the good die young
but that the young die good.
Love is always pictured with a boV
and arrow and a pair of wings. Thu
bow represents woman S lips, the ar
row is her tongue, and the wings arr
for him to fly away with.
Some men succeed by ability: other
rely on whiskers.
A man quarrels with a woman TO
the sake of making up again; wo
man makes up with a man for the SAX
of quarrcling again.
When Adam heard the gate of Edel
slam shut, he probably said he had al
ways wanted to know what there wa
outside, anyway.
If Enoch Arden had come back ant
found that his wife hadn't got mar
ried, he would probably have gone t.
sea again.
The only people that know mucl
they don't tell are editors and milk
men.
The difference between journals
and a newspaper man is that one ha
long hair and the other long head.
Men are like wild animals-the,
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