Crawford avalanche., 1897-07-15

people." sTndeedY "Oh, greatly.
She doesn't look bit like them."-De-
| troit Journal. 1.
He-"My darling, I always feel like
taking or my shoes when enter your
sacred presence" She-"Well, would
rather you did 1t now that after we are
married Life.
"Our landlady likes to have theatri-
| cal people come to stay with US"
"Why?' "She says the rest OF us stare
at them so hard that we forget to eat"
| Detroit Free Press.
Close Together.--Nell-Do you think
there is anything between them? Belle
Il don't know. There wasn't when
looked in at the parlor door last night
-Somerville- Journal.
Doesn't 1t make you sad when you
think of the poorY "Why, no, not
| particularly. 1t makes me mad,
though, when / think of the rich
indianapolis Journal.
| YES" she replied, II suppose I'm
superstitious, but l prefer not to mar
| ry. l don't care to trust my happiness
| to thirteen men. Eth? Oh, husband
and jury. to be sure."-Truth.
'Is your flying machine success"
"Unquestionably," replied the enthu-
kiast. "Have you made a trip with
it" mo, but I've sold several shares
| Of stock."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
a'I heard you fought n duel with
Parker?" II did" Weren't you
afraid to stand up before a loaded pis-
toll" "Not with Parker holding 1t.
I'm insured in his company."-Tit-Bits.
"Have you any clew to the assail-
ant?" asked the court. "Well," replied
Sherlock Holmes, Il think he must
have been a Greek. AS l approached
he n."-Philadelphia North Ameri-
can.
Martha, listen; there's a new ma
chime invented that records the ac.
ton Of the brain" "Well, you needn't
fool any money away on one; II
wouldn't earn its salt."-Detroit Free
Press.
"I wish you would make picture OF
the Sultan Of Turkey for to-morrow's
paper" 81 am afraid have no photo
graph sir" "What of that? You.
know how to draw fez, don't your
Puck.
New Servant found this coin upon
your desk, sir. Master-Im glad you
are honest. put it there purposely to
test your honesty. New Servant
That's what thought Fliegende
Blatter.
Freddy-Why do they call the end of
college education commencement, pa
pa? Papa-Because, my son, that Is
the point at which young man COM
mences to learn.-New York CONNER
cial Advertiser.
She-It's too bad your wife has been
sick so long. He-Yes; l suppose that
the doctors bill amounts to three times
as much now as the undertaker's
charges would have amounted to-
Cleveland Leader.
"They always talk about the seven
ages Of man." said the Curious One.
"Why not the seven ages Of woman?
Because, my boy" replied the Know.
ing One, zone is enough for them
Cincinnati Tribune.
In order not to be All exception to the
rule, Guibollard ran down his mother
in-law. Briefly, what have you against
her?' asked his friend, impatiently.
"Her daughter" was the laconic reply.
-L'Illustre de Poche.
"Yes," said the young wife, sadly, Il
am satisfied that he doesn't love me
i 20 a,xI
satisfaction in anything like that"
asked her dearest girl friend.-Pitts-
burg Chronicle-Telegraph
Lightloye-At last, dear Sophia, we
are alone, and l can tell you that
10 Sophia--Oh, please, no-Mr.
Lightlove, don't tell me here. Light
love-Why not? There are no witness
es Sophia-That's just it.-Chips.
Tourist Tin Jersey. apprehensively)-
How about the Jersey mosquitoes?
Don't you find them pretty vicious Gre
aturas? Jersey Native Qndifferently)-
| Not ut all! Not at all! Why, they'll
eat right out of your hand!-Puck.
John. this is very bad report you
bring me from school," John-I know,
father; but you know you said If l
brought home a first-class report you
would give me So and wanted to save
you that expense.-Boston Traveller.
81" the witness testified, would not
believe him under oath. "EhY said
the Judge In surprise at hearing lead
ing citizen SO fiouted. "Oh, fur as that
goes. wouldn't believe nobody. am
an assessor" r."-Indianapolis Journal.
Jack wyld-That young Simperly
seems such a fragile fellow l should
hesitate to touch him, eor fear he would
break. Tom Fax (who has had expe-
rience)-He wouldn't hesitate about
touching you, IL he was broke.-Puck.
Poor Mrs. Jaysmithp' exclaimed
Mrs. Gargoyle. Her husband must
treat her shamefully." What makes
you say that" asked Mrs. Grummey.
.'She never complains" II know II.
That's what makes me suspicious."-
Life.
The member Of the firm pressed his
hand to his heart. Il love you madlyw
he exclaimed. II love but you! 1 have
never loved before!' The typewriter
inclined her head. Very WELL" she re-
piled. "More than one copy, sirr,--De-
troit Journal
Stranger latter an examination)-
/ vvoyv DOCTOR what do vou thfnlx9 . IJorx