The Topeka state journal., 1897-11-03
HIS TROUSERS.

into the TRAIN, ne sIlpped smiling into
the hand of the guard and said, Keep me
this apartment, please, as want to dress. "
ttAll right, sir, - answered tae guard, and
the next moment the train started
Having removed his boots, Mr.. Chuoker
denuded himself of his trousers This
was a trying moment, for, if an accident
had happened then Why, why, dear
meP' calculated Mr.. Chucler, at this stage
of his cogitations. s'I-think the train is
stopping"
The train was stopping in effect, as
Mr.. Chucker might have foreseen that it
would do, since he was not travelling by
express, but he had been so inwrapped in
his self upbraiding thoughts that he had
not even noticed the first slackening of the
engines speed. He now found himself in
the very midst OF very litter of clothes,
and with no time to redress himself before
the train stopped. He had to decide hasti-
1y whether he would steam alongside
Ealing platform in his shirt sleeves or mi
nus his pantaloons. He chose wisely in
huddIing on his coat, which he buttoned
up, while he covered his lower man with
railway rug This done, he collected az
many of his belongings as he could into
his bag, kicked his boots under a seat and
tried to look dignifed. The train had
come to a standstiu now, and a guard
opened the door of the carriage in which
our hero was sitting and cried, There's
room here, sir, for you and this lady. "
. Hi guaEdi' exclaimed Alr Chucker,
leaning out in horror. s'You told ne
should have this compartment to myself" 3"
Unfortunately for our modest friend,
the guard to whom he had given the shil-
ling was not the one appointed to travel
with the train. These little mistakes Of
ten occur, and lead to unpleasant conse-
Quences. The present guard said bluntly:
II can't give you a compartment to
yourself sunless you pay for it, sir. It's
against the rules. Here, madam, step in,
please. -
A lady who looked in very delicate
health got into the carriage, and q gentle
man with her. Mr.. Barnaby Chucker felt
ready to swoon. Before he could inform
the guard of his readiness 80 pay for a
whole compartment sooner than have his
privacy intruded upon the train was of
again, and Mr.. Chucker fell to rejecting
how he should effect his change of car
riages at Slough now that he was in no
fit state to step on to a platform. The
train in which he Travelled was not bound
straight for Windsor, but for Birmingham,
and Mr.. Chucker would have to change at
Slough if he wished to dine with his
friends that evening.
Alas, a more urgent difficulty than that
involved in change of carriages soon pre-
sented itself to him, for no sooner had the
train started than the lady who had just
stepped in began to moan and to shiver
saying that she felt cold all over. Her
husband sought to quiet her, but it was
all of no use for she was really i'll. At
last the poor man looked in despair at MIR.
Chucker and said;
Excuse me for taking q great liberty,
sir but would you be SO kind as to lend
my wife your rug9 We started in q hurry
and forgot to bring one. As it is not
cold day, perhaps you would not mind
obliging US far as Slough, where L shall be
| able to buy rug.
''EhP" grunted Mr.. Chucker, stupefieda
| The request completely staggered him.
and he could find no words in which to
reply; ,,. 4,
rug?" repeated the gentleman, rather
astonished
'Hol' growled Mr.. Chucker in voice
like a bears 1t had just occurred to
him that the safest way out Of his difficult
ties would be to sham being mad. ''Hool'
two or three times over, and his STRAIT
| agem succeeded perfectly, for both his fell
low passengers became convinced that they
were travelling with a lunatio.
The lady began to scream Her nerves
were so unstrung that they could not
stand this extra shock. And that foolish
Mr. Chucker made things worse by the
fxity with which he stared at her. The
gentleman armed himself with an UNI
brella to protect his wife. MIR. Chucker
entered into the spirit of his part, caught
up his own umbrella and brandished it.
4l6 travellers were Al bDSlE 8GblbuQe OF
vigilance and menace when the train once
more slackened speed, and Hanweu was
| reached.
Instantly the gentleman jumped out on
the side of the line, so as not to pass Mr..
Chucker, and helped out his wife, whose
screams had given place to a fit of shiyer-
ing. Mr. Chucker was rudely aroused by
the door being suddenly opened and q
gruh voice e1claiming:
"Now, sir, what's the matter with
youq'
''Well, man, since you putyne to it, I've
no trousers on, F." confessed Mr.. Chucker,
lowering his voice, Whereupon the station
master echoed in amazement, mo trou-
sersl' and the crowd behind caught up the
words, &c n o trousers l'
'fHe's throwed 'em out of the window, -
| suggested the porter.
perhaps he had none on when he got
| into the train, - opined the station master.
of course had, man. I've two pairs
| with me now Let me alone, that may
| put one on, - faltered Mr. Chuczer, intim-
| idated and disguised by the sight of SC
many people staring at him.
| But while he was speaking some low
| churl, seizing a corner of his rug, gave it a
| twitch and abruptly exposed Mr.. Chuck
| er's dishabille to view. There was a shout
| of mingled laughter and disInay among
| the passengers, some of whom, being ladies'
/ deemed it expedient to squeal.
''Out you come, roared the blushing
station master, in a paroxysm of indigna-
/ tion and he cIutched MIR. Chucker by the
/ wrist.
''Well, but-but-let me d-dress first, -
| pleaded the victim as he felt not only his
arms, but his legs, in the grasp of different
hands. He made a short struggle, but did
| not improve his position, for his resistance
| was ascribed to maniacal outbreak and
| elnboldened his aggressors to drag him out
Of the carriage feet foremost. He tumbled
out in a heap, and was then carried across
! the platform, kicking and roaring, in the