Omaha daily bee., 1897-01-23

II Comes from Iowa, witch Is TO Have
N Cut Farm

Cnt Farm.
The New York Sun throws a few piquant
rays on projected Iowa Industry and jol-
lies the scheme in this style
Every little while strange rumors come
out of the west, but of all the wild border
it's Iowa sends the best. The Sun has had
its eye on Iowa for long time. Even with
half an eye one could see that strange things
were happening out there. In fact four of
these strange things happened along this
way: When New York saw the four Cherrys
II decided that there were stranger things
IN heaven ard earth and Iowa than were
dreamt of in its philosophy. The cat factory
scheme goes to confirm this belief
Clinton according to report. is to be the
home OF the projected factory. The idea has
not been entirely carried out, but it is ripe
for execution, and the magnificent schemes
of Colonel Sellers pale into insgnihcancc
beside the possibilities Of this prairie project
Clinton is beautiful town in the extreme
eastern portion of the state. AS far as can
be learned, it has never borne il-win or
malice against anybody, consequently the cat
factory cannot be of the nature OF re-
venge. The Clinton people do not under
stand 1t. They have given bonuses TO pack
ing houses and bonuses to wagon factories
and building site TO the cracker man, who
said he'd let the poor have all his broken
crackers But they never gave even en-
courasement to the cat factory.
The cat factory didn't ask for encourage
ment, All it wanted was chance. and two
enterprlsing mcn from Kansas have prom
ised that The simplicity of their scheme
is, in itself, stroke OF genius. Here arc
the details:
In the first place, they are to have a num-
Der OF acres on the outskirts % the town
This farm, IL you choose to call il that. Is
to be stocked with 1000 assorted cate. A
separate portion of the place will be oCcu-
pied by 5000 rats The 5000 rats are to be
fed gradually to the 900 cats Meantime
both cats and rats viii increase in numbers
despite the fact that the cats arc eating the
rats. 1t Is estimated that the number OF
cats Will increase to $4,000 during the first
year and to 225,O00 during the second wear
or course, If the rats increased no faster
than the cats, the cats would soon oat nm
all the rats, and there would be trouble
But they don't give way TO these little diff
cultiCs out i'm Iowa. The cats are to h-
raised for their skins, which are worth 81
each in the market When the cats are
killed for their skins their bodies are fed
to the rats, which will fatten on their ad.
yersarioS' bones Thus fdttened they them
selves Will become more toothsome and
nouriShing for The cats when il Is the turn
of the rats to be eaten.
The beauty of this plan must be apparent
What is cats today becomes rats tomorrow
and what is rats tomorrow becomes cats next
day, and so on round the circle of rats and
cats until doomsday-or the time when the
Clinton people shall turn out and exterminate
the whole institution.
But this isn't all The cats become rats
and the rats become cats, as before ey-
planned. Also. the cats become more cats
and the rats become more rats with per-
sistent rapidity which makes ones brain
reel. If the 1000 cats became 225 600 In
two years, the question is, how many rats
VIII they have from beginning of 5000
provided the rats increase five times faster
than the cats. One must consider the fact
however, that the cats will eat more rats
than the rats can eat cats. This is impor-
tant. Also, that many OF the rats having
been eaten by the eats, will therefore be
incorporated in the cat population. and will
ba assisting the cat total to the detriment
of the rats. OF course, at the same time.
some of the cats will have been eaten by
the rats and must therefore, be subtracted
from the cat producers and added to the rats
Now thore Is another problem. If the cats
ate nothing but rats, then the entire 3 1000
rats would be eaten by the 1000 cats inside
of the first week and the story would be
done more quickly even than the famous
tale of Solomon Grundy, which covered a
period Of seven days, not counting the OBJ
sequies which must have occurred the next
week. There must be a way out of this
Naturally enough II is a milky way. third
section of the farm will be devoted to cows.
The cows, ii is to be hoped for the success
of the scheme, will give milk. Part of this
milk will be fed to the cats. The rest will
be made into cheese for the rats. 1t is so |
easy to kill two birds with one stone, II
you have the right kind of birds and the
right kind of stone.
Here, then, is the project complete: First |
the farm, which is to be surrounded by |
ten-foot fence to prevent the escape of the |
capitalized stock of the company; second |
the cows, which will furnish the milk for
the cats and cheese for the rats; third and |
fourth-for they are inseparable, or will be |
in the course of year or two-the cats that !