The Portland daily press. [volume] (Portland, Me.) 1862-1921, 1897-02-16
MY OWN DECEASE.


Although doubtedly had beeA very
I'LL, am by no means certain of my facts
at about this time; SO, whether was the
victim of little too much indulgence In the
flowing bowl, or of q lively Imagination, or
of hypnotic trance, l really cannot say.
Anyway, one morning seemed to be con-
scious that l was talking with demon
who sat by my bedside. He was very
pleasant sort of fellow and not bad look
ing, but somehow knew he was demon
'tWould you like to hear what they are
saying about you and go to your own fu-
neralS' he asked pleasantly.
'tPeople generally do attend that cere-
mony personally, . suggested. Then after
a moments reflection l asked, cam 1
dead thenP'
'sOf course Did you not know itp"
eff 1 did, it must have escaped my
memory replied imperturbably
"Well, you are dead, but will give you
the remarkable power of going among your
family in the spirit and be invisible to
them
."That's very kind of you, but I've heard
you people seldom perform services for
nothing. What recompense do you re-
quirep''
"None. The penalty you will pay will
be sufficient reward to me-"
"What penaltyf'
'To see yourself as others see you and
hear what they say of you.''
My friend then dematerialized himself
into thin air, and the next moment was
gliding noiselessly down the stairs.
should explain to you that am an or
phan, without parents, but a member of
large family - sisters, brothers, cousins
and all the rest of it. I happen to have
more money than any Of the others and
have hitherto been much sought after on
account of many excellent personal quail
ties. am not married. Well, the fact
is I am Of rather retiring disposition,
and not having yet cc4e across girl who
would help me out with the preliminaries
had not found courage to take the fatal
plunge. My eldest sister, Priscilla, had
therefore been keeping house for me.
easily passed through the closed parlor
door without opening it, which was very
convenient, and found myself, unseen by
them, in the midst of relatives from differ
emit parts of the country They were wait
ing breakfast for some important person
who had not yet made his appearance. l
was foolish enough to think it might be
myself and sat down to my customary seat
at the foot of the table; but, of course, no
one saw me. had forgotten for the mo-
ment that was a dematerialiZed spirit.
Soon, however, the door opened, and the
important individual entered the apart
ment It was my eldest brother, Tom.
Now began to understand He was my
executor and residuary legatee. He repre-
sented me, the late Crawley Slowquicker,
Esq, deceased; hence all the court and def
erence paid to him. This was absurd, you
know, for bigger fool never lived
Well, he made straight for my chair and
sat down where was sitting. This was
stepping into my shoes with vengeance
actually usurping the place occupied by
my disernbodied spirit. Tom was bulky
fellow, and I felt the affront. Besides,
wishing better to watch the proceedings, l
got up quickly and sat behind my chair.
Two things especially attracted my atten-
ton and somewhat shocked me. In the
first place, Priscilla's presiding seemed
much more lavish than under my regime,
and, in the second, was struck by the
happiness and gayety Of the whole COM
pany. This was calculated to take my
faulty down a few pegs, for had fondly
imagined that my death would plunge my
entire family in the uttermost depths of
despair. But it hadn't
II never like going into black, " Priscilla
was saying in her even tones to Aunt
Gwen; "it's SO very unlucky."
81 don't mind the change at all, I" said
Aunt Gwen. 1.-THE color just suits me,
you know. But really can't tell what
orders to give, not knowing how 1 am
provided for. -
"That's as good as asking" said Tom,
with one of his horrible laughs which
used to consider SO hearty. ga mods as
good as a wink to blind horse. SUPPOSE
the regular thing Is to read the will after
the funeral But as it's all among ourselves
it does not matter. and I'll read it to all
directly after breakfast"
Then they started talking about their
late relation, Crawley slowquicker, and the
things I heard about myself positively as
tonished me- s.e
They were all sadly deficient In the