Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-05-27
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Tom-Is Maude's hair golden! red.
No. it's plaited.-Yale Record.
He--Miss Peavick's age is telling
upon her. She-What ingratitude!-
Puck.
Little Man (golf enthusiastically
don't you play golf? Big Man (blasc)7r-
Why, because l object to chasing a
quinine pill around a cow-pasture.-n
Ind Bits. rH Nta .si 40,
! Shell think you had better send up
| another rat-trap, John. He-But I
bought one only the other day. She
l know, but there Is a rat in that one.
-Td-Bits. tt et~ks
Kind Old Lady-To what do you at
tribute your uncomfortable appetite
for strong drink? Is 1t hereditary?
Weary Walker-No, mum; It's thirst
Philadelphia Record. asa
Sawyer seems to think good deal
OF himself" 81 should say so; he has
had Moorish curves cut in his Office
doorway so he can get his head in and
out."-Chicago Record.
Mrs. Jobber-Too bad the new cook
spoiled the steak; she is so young and
inexperienced. Won't you be satisfied
with kiss instead, dear? Mr.. Jobber
All right; call her in.-Judge
why don't that European war
you've been predicting right along come
of, Mr.. Sportly?" inquired his wife.
II suppose the kaleidoscope people are
not ready."-Detroit Free Press.
Belinda, how do you treat a stupid
man who admires you" Really,
don't know when a man admires ns
I never do myself the injustice to con-
slider him stupid Chicago Record.
Mrs. Saver must feel that she, was
very extravagant in buying that new
gown" What makes you think so?"
"She's begun to argue that it will be
the cheapest In the end."-Chicago
Journal.
81 hear that Judge Buckets Is study
ing mind-reading," said the lean law
yer. IF he gets proficient" said the
fat lawyer, hell arrest the whole
town for contempt of court"-Indiana-
polls Journal.
Herr Oil-Haf you heard dot dog Of
mine ate tape-measure undt died?
Herr Kut-I suppose he died by inch
es, NIGHT var? Herr Oil-Aber nit; he
vent oudt in der alley und die by der
yard.-Columbia Spectator.
st was so dark in the parlor when
young Dr. Plummer came In that I
did not notice he had shaved off his
mustache." Didn't you? I felt the
difference while you were getting
light" Plain-Dealer.
Jones-Sillibub has a medicine which
he declares Is sure cure for heart
disease. Smith-Did 1t cure him?
Jones-Yes, it gave him such a fright
full attack of indigestion that he for
got all about his heart.-Harper's Ba-
Ear.
81. Addison "Yes, your excellen-
cyT Il hope that the agriculturists
will appreciate the beginning Of our
efforts in their behalf" ''In what
way, sir?" well, in sending Hay to
England. "-Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
DR. Ende-There's nothing serious
the matter with Patsy, Mrs. Mulcahey.
/ think a little soap and water will do
him as much good as anything. Mrs.
Mulcahey-Yis, docther. an will Oh
give it T. him befoor or afther his males2
Judge.
Mrs. Henpeck-Young Mrs. Bagley,
who was married on last Thursday,
tells me her husband left almost inn
mediately for the West on a business
"trip. Henpeck (vicously-Yes: he writes
me that he finds married life a very
happy existence.-Philadelph North
American.
Parke-So strong Is habit they say
mans spirit goes right on doing the
same thing after death that he did in
life. Lane-That can't be true in your
case. Parke-Why not? Lane-Look
at the habit you have gotten into Of
shoveling the snow from your walk
The Jester.
"Old man. you seem worried" "Wor-
ried Is no name for it. Brown Is COM
ing around at 4 o'clock to pay me So"
think he may not come? "Oh, he'll
come all right; but Jones Is due at
4:15 to try to collect $40 owe him.
Suppose he should get there just as
was being paid by Brown?"-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
"Ah, yes" said the soulful young
man, II see signs Of spring on every
hand nowadays" "Why, didn't know
you'd noticed It," declared the land
lady, as she threw a shawl over the
horsehair lounge, through the seat Of
which long spiral OF heavy wire had
worn Its way.-Cincinnati Commercial
Tribune.
II have always felt sorry for NOAH"
said the large-hearted man. II don't
see the need for It," said the man of the
shrunken sympathies. Looks to me
as IL Noah got of pretty WELL" "But
just think of 1t. When the waters sub
sided there was not a soul left for him
to ask, Now, what did tell your
indianapolis Journal.
Mrs. Pawson-My sister Is worried to
death over her son Reginald. She
wants him to enter the ministry, his
father wants him to go into business,
while Reginald himself has got his
mind set on being an actor, and says
nothing shall keep him from 1t. Mrs.
Dawson-Hum-how old IL he? Mrs
Pawson-He's going on 7.--Tit-Bits.