The Winslow mail., 1897-01-16
MY OWN DECEASE.

trance, l really cannot say, anyway
one morning | seemed to be conscious
that l was talking with a demon, who
sat by my bedside. He wa5 very
pleasant sort of fellow and Not bad
looking. but somehow 1 knew that he
was demon.
"Would you like to hear what they
are saying about you and go to your
own funeral?" he asked pleasantly.
"People generally do attead that
ceremony personally" l suggested
then after a moments reflection,
asked: Am l dead, them"
"Of course Did you not know it?''
''If 1 did it must have escaped my
memory" l replied imperturt'ably.
''Well, you are dead, but l will give
you the remarkable power Of going
among your family in the spirit and
Invisible to them"
That's very kind Of you, but I've
heard you people seldom perform serv-
ices for nothing. What recompense
do you require"
''None. The penalty you will pay
will be sufficient reward to me-
What penalty?'
''To see yourself as others see you,
and hear what they say Of yua.'
My friend then demateriafized him
self into thin pale air. and the next
moment l was gliding noiseleesly down
the stairs.
l should explain to you that | am
an orphan, without parents, but a
member of a large family; sisters,
brothers, cousins and all the rest of it.
any of the others, and have hitherto
been much sought after on account Of
my excellent personal qualities. /
am not married. Well, the fact Is,
am of rather retiring disposition,
and not having yet come across a girl
who would help me out with the pre-
liminaries l had not found courage to
take the fatal plunge. MY eldest sis
ter, Priscilla, had therefore been keep
Ing house for me.
I passed easily through the closed
parlor door without opening it, which
was very convenient, and found my
self, unseen by them, in the midst of
relatives from different parts of the
country. They were waiting break
fast for some important person who
had not yet made his appearance. l
was foolish enough to think it might
be myself and sat down in my Gus
tomary seat at the foot of the table
h1t np ho6
forgotten for the moment that l was
a dematerialized spirit. Soon, how
ever, the door opened and the impor-
tant individual entered the apart
ment. 1t was my eldest brother Tom.
Now 1 began to understand. He was
my executor and residuary legatee.
He represented me, the Fate Crawley
Slowquicker, ESQ.,, deceaaed, hence all
the court and Difference paid to him.
This was absurd, you know, for a
bigger fool never lived.
Well, he made straight for my chair,
and sat down where l was sittingl
This was stepping into my shoes with
3 vengeance actually usurping the
same place occupied by my disembod-
led spirit. Tom was bulky fellow,
and l felt the affront. Besides. wish
Ing better to watch the proceedings,
/ got up quickly and sat behind my
chair.
Two things especially attracted my
attention, and somewhat shocked me.
In the first place, Priscilla's presiding
seemed more lavish than under my
regime, and in the second, was struck
by the happiness and gayety of the
whole company. This was calculated
to take my faulty down few pegs,
for had fondly imagined that my
death would plunge my entire family
in the uttermost depths of despair
But it hadn't!
81 never like going into black" Pris-
ella was saying in her even tones to
Aunt Gwen, tits so very unlucky"
Il don't mind the change at ALL
said Aunt Gwen, ''the color just suits
me, you know. But | really can't
tell what orders to give, not know
ing how am provided for"
That's as good as asking" said
Tom. with one of his horrible laughs
which | used to consider so hearty
"a mods as good as wink to a blind
horse. | suppose the regular thing is
TO read the will after the funeral, but
as it's all among ourselves 1t doesn't
matter, and III read 1t to all directly
after breakfast
Then they started talking about their
late relation, Crawley Sl3wquicker,
and the things l heard about myself
positively astOniShed me.
They were all sadly deficient in the
bump of reverence and | found that
not one of them entertained that re-
spect and affection for me Of which |
had imagined they were all possessed.
Now | fully realized the truth of my
friend the demons words. 1t was a
dreadful penalty to pay, sad morti-
tication to hear what they said of me,
and to see myself as others saw me.
We'll. of course" my cousin Yer
non said, responding to some remark
In virtuoHsly deprecatory tone. "Of