The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1897-02-02
wAYsIDE GATHERINGS.
Bits or Humor and Nuggets of Truth
for the Multitude.

Avoid ~extravagant promises. State
facts and stick to them.
The number of fighting men In
this country is estimated at 9,467, 694.
According TO late statistics there
are in the United States $1,000 deaf
mutes.
More than / 800 varieties of roses
have been cultivated during the pres
emit century.
Economy is no disgrace. 1t is
better living on q little than OUTLYING
a great deal.
~-Seventy-two races inhabit the
world and use over 1900 different
tongues. There are about 1000 reli-
giOns.
"A man In New York died from
nasal hemorrhage " recently. Old
fashioned people would have called it
"nosebleed."
There are preachers who got
large salaries that accept support from
widows who must make their money
over the wash tub.
Our spiritual blessings are far
more important than anything else
and If we use them right, we will
surely express our gratitude.
Instead Of looking at the many
poor representatives of Christianity in
the church, let us look at the life Of
Christ to see what Christianity is.
w. j. Bryan received a larger
number of electoral votes and more of
the popular vote of the country than
was ever received by a defeated can
didate for the presidency.
"A musical bicycle has appeared
in England. The motion of the vehicle
grinds out the tunes, and the wheel
man whirls along to the strains Of a
lively harmony.
Charley, if you are good today
you shall be allowed to go after the
cows" Suppose I'm bad, papa 2"
"Oh, then you'll have to go after them
as Il punishment"
An Irishman was explaining to q
friend the difficulty he had going from
the station to the hotel. "The streets
arc so crooked" he said, THAT met
myself on the way back"
"A wcllknown specialist of ear
diseases has made the announcement
that h ,lf the deafness prevalent at the
present time "a be traced to the
practice OF boxing the ears of children.
In New Zealand the Maori priest
repeats to the infant a lengthy list Of
the m Of its ancestors, fixing upon
the II which the child by sncczing or
crying when it is uttered is considered
to select for itself.
The Mother Willie, | am sorry
TO learn that YOU ran your little wag.
hurt him. st wasn't my fault. | told
him to get out of the way. My wag-
on's got United States Mail painted
on both sides OF it, and it doesn't have
to stop for nobody"
Nine out ten persons, if asked
what is tho most sensitive part of the
body, will reply the tip of the tongue.
This is a mistake. Those engaged in
polishing billiard balls, or any other
substances that require a very high
degree OF smOothness, invariably use
the ~cheekbone as their tombstone for
detecting any r~oughness.
AT the late Cobb county (Ga.) fair,
Mrs. Nj. j. Farr, of Roswell, had 4
quilt made in the shape of a map of
the state Of Georgia, each county out
lined with anne thereon bounded
with ocean and states, bordered with
the names of the governors Of Georgia
and the presidents of the United States,
n the years they served in their
respective official positions.
lt"markable as 1T may seem the
heaviest contributor to the expense OF
the recon presidential campaign was
the United States government. The
amount of campaign literature sent
through the mails free on the franks
Of the congressman would have cost
$40, 600 in postage stamps under
other circumstances. To this must be
added SIS, coo, 900 as the cost of send.
ing out information from the various
departments in response to campaign
demands, making a total Of $l5, 000, OOC
that Uncle Sam is out OF pocket.