The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1897-09-22
A JOKE oN ARrEMUs WARE.
The HumOrl,t Gets the Worst of 1t In u
BIT OF Borsrplay.


BltoT Borsrplny.
The Bookman has an interesting artl-
Gle on Artemus Ward, dealing at con-
siderable length with his experiences in
London. When he made his first np-
pearance in that city he enriched his
programmes with note explaining that
he would call on citizens at their resi-
dences and explain any Jokes that they
did not understand, and It Is said there
was reason enough in such an Offer, In
view OF the fact that John Bright. the
eminent statesman, was reported II
have remarked after attending one OF
the humorlst's performances:
4 must say / cant see what people
find to enjoy in his lecture. The lnfor.
nation is meager and Is presented In
dcsultOry, disconnected manner In
fact, ] can't help seriously questioning
some OF the statements"
Artemus Ward was fond Of telling sto-
rles and jokes at his own expense, and
he had q habit when upon the lecture
platform Of purposely making people
laugh at his own awkwardness, but he
had one experience that he never refer
red to. During part Of the time thai
he lived In Cleveland he lived at fash
Ionable boarding house on Seneca street
and was In the habit Of cutting up all
sorts Of capers there, to the amusement
sometimes but az often 10 the cOnster'
nation of the other bOarders, most Of
whom looked upon him as half.
baked fool"
one Of his jokes was TO scare women
nearly To death by pretending to fan
down stars The parlor where
the bdarders coneregated was
connected by, a large arch with the
hall, where the stairway was, practical
ly making one big room of both. Every
time a new boader or a stranger hap
pcncd to he present, Mr. Browne, as he
was known around the house, would
cough, at the top Of the stairway, to at
tract attention, then pretend to trip on
something, and go tumbllng headlong
| downward, always managing TO catch
the railing and thus Escape injury The
women would. Of course. yell and make
o great fuss over him when he picked
himself up, and he would generally
manage to get of some droll remark
that would set everybody to laughing.
But this sort OF thing got tiresome af-
ter awhile, and one day some Of the men
boGrderH decided to stop IT, A young
lady had Just arrived at the house, and
II was foregone conclusion that
Browne would take his customary tum-
bic at the first opportunity. So prom
Using the landlady that they would have
things properly prepared. after the trou-
bic was over, the jokerS enemies sawed
the splndles IN the balustradc almost In
two, leaving the rail so that slight
wrench would break II loose.
That evening all the borders c0ngre.
gated In the parlor. the newly arrived
young lady, who had been lot into the
secret, among them, They didn't hayI
long TO wait for their victim, In pass
ing up to his room Browne saw that n
stranger was present, and after making
his toilet, he started to 30 down stairs
He coughcd loudly several times Thil0
passing through the upper hall, ant
then when he saw that everybody was
looking at him, stumbled and shot into
| the air.
But when he Eraspcd the rail OF the
| balustrade there was q sharp crack, fol,
lowed by a crash, and'the man who af-
forwards became famous as A.Ward,lay
stunned Mt the bottom OF the stairs, Wilt
a skinned elbow and bleeding nose.
That ended the stairway Joke, and
Browne soon moved to another boarding
| house