Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-06-12
apausiae Gatherings.

ashamed OF yourSelf. Inc luea OF you
hitting your wife with fat iron
Prisoner (aggrievedly)-Well, the po
ker was broke
S8 Nobody pays any attention to q
pump when they know the well is dry
That is one reason why the devil
never seems to put straw in the way
of some people.
h@. A cow over fed will not digest
all her food, thus injuring her milk
and the butter made from it. Good
digestion and assimilation are impera'
lively necessary.
D@ God takes mems hearty desires
and will instead of the deed, when
they have not the power to fulfill it
but he never took the bare deed in
stead of the will.
I@ They had been discussing the
pronunciation of "oleomargerine," and
finally agreed to leave it to the waiter
but he hedged. "Sure," said he, ~
have to pronounce it butter or lose my
job"
~ A couple. were married twice
within one hour near Poplar Bluff, Mo-,
recently. The BRIDES father was
asleep when the first ceremony was
performed, and the second was for bis
benefit.
p@ The armies of the civilized ma
tions of the world number 3,6OO,OOO
men. Besides the loss of their time
and labor, they cost at least 81 900 a
year for each soldier, and amounts to
So, 900, 100000.
r4r The possibility Of evil disturbs
the anxious, but only the probability
of evil disturbs the cheerful. A large
part of the liabilities which hover be-
fore the eyes of the former are never
thought of by the latter.
H6 Tipperusalem is the name of a
town in Oklahoma. Tipperusalem was
the happy compromise between one
promoter who wanted to name the
place Tipperarary, and another who
desired to call it Jerusalem.
D@ I never was deeply interested in
any object, I never prayed sincerely
for anything, but it came at sometime
no matter at how distant day, some
how, in some shape, probably the last
way should have devised, it came.
p@ Before planting a tree, consider
whether the place chosen will be ap-
propriate when the tree is grown.
Too many plant without thinking OF
the future. A tree out of place is a
nuisance; in its place, it is blessing.
sd The poorest circumstances in life
with a religious spirit of resignation,
are far better than the greatest abun-
dance and highest honors without it
for these cannot give that peace OF
mind which the others can never
want.
nag Umbrellas have been made in
the United States since 1902, and in
considerable number since 1872, but,
except for the cheaper goods, until
late years the sticks, the ribs, the
stretchers and the coverings were i'm
ported.
t@ A man who died in Berlin the
other day at the age of 73, left diary
which showed that in so years he had
smoked 62s, ,715 cigars, of which he had
received 1882 as presents, while for
the remaining 5S5,O21 he had paid
about O,4SS.
s9- A Scotchman entered a shop.
"Now, then, I want bottle of whisky
to drink to the health of my tlrst
born" "You're in luck-boy or girl p
asked the shopkeeper. "Don:t know
yet," was the reply. "Only got mar
ried yesterday"
H@- "You know" said the pastor to
the newly welded pair, 'its the wife's
duty to obey her husband and follow
him wherever he may CO." II won't
do it," pouted the bride. "You
won't?" "How can you expect me
He's letter carrier"
19- II say, Bobby" whispered Fitz-
gorgeous, Twas your sister pleased to
learn that 1 had called upon her9"
eyes, indeed, she was" replied Bobby,
"When mother told her that Mr.. Fitz-
gorgeous had called while she was out,
she said, Thank Heaven y"
19 "a young man is coming to see
my sister right along now. Every time
I 20 into the parlor he gives me some
money to 60 out and buy some candy,
and then when I come back sis won't
let me stay in the parlor cause my
hands is sticky. That's why l don't
see much of him."
I6- There is nothing easier to teach
than reverence. Let the parents be
reverent, and the work is done. The
father who indulges in scriptural jokes
and puns, sings funny scriptural songs
and quotes texts in ludicrous connec-
tion, will live to find that he has sown
quick crop. Destroy reverence for
the Book, and all things cease to be
sacred.
r9 The District of Columbia was
formed out of Washington county,
MARYLAND, and Alexander county, Vir-
ginia, and the national government
was removed to the capital in 1900,
The Virginia portion of the District
was ceded back in 1916: Citizens OF
tho D;etrict of Colnmbia have no vote