The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-07-20
Burdette ana the BicycIc.

report got in circulation to the effect
that Bob Burdette was dead. The Burr
ington Hawkeye. with which the humor-
NOR and Bob confirms the denial in the
following letter to the editor:
Bryn Mawr, Pa, June "A, 1S97.-My Dear
Waite: Like the true friend and loyal
comrade you ever were, you do right to
protest against my burial prior to the
autopsy.
am indeed very much alive. Not only
so, I haven't been dead even a little bit.
Not once Could have been, had l wanted
to be. Could be yet. But l don't want.
Maybe ought to be, even now. But.
as we make weekly confession-"we have
left undone those things which we ought
to have DONE
Possibly the rumor that I have gone
dead grew out of the fact that l have
learned. Not Am learning" Learned in
one lesson. All by myself
Went out in the moonlight last Friday
night to learn, having first locked my
family in the house and forbade them to
look out of the windows. Led my bicycle
out on the turnpike-the Bryn Mawr pixies
are broader than the way to destruction,
twice as smooth and much cleaner. It's
a young bicycle-a colt, foaed in '97
Would give the name but for the fact that
l had to pay for the wheel. VIII c1.ly
say, therefore, in accordance with the
ethics of our profession, that it is NOT
the wheel anybody says it is.
l held him by the withers right in the
middle of the road. and mounted without
assistance.
I dismounted in the same independent
manner.
Got on again and proceeded to break
him to saddle.
Did [ ride the first time?
Wen, say!
People had told me-liars of all ages
and both sexes-that / couldn't fall #.
when / felt that 1 was falling 1 would
stick out my foot
I stuck out both feet and both hands
and fell on my head
1 fell on one side of that diabolical
wheel and then on the other; I fell on both
sides at once; fell on top of it and under
meath it, and made 'dog-falls" with it,
fell between the wheels. / fell behind the
hind wheel and before the front one at the
same time and don't know yet how 1 did
it. fell and thrust both my legs through
the spokes of one wheel. l met a terrified
man in a buggy and drove him clear off
the pike through Wheeler's hedge, and
don't think he has come back yet. Every
time fell slapped the palms of my raw,
swollen, throbbing hands on the hard inc
lastic" pike, except the time 1 fell on
my head 1 fell harder and with greater
variety of landing than any man could
fan unless he dropped out of balloon and
lit in a load of furniture. I lost my con-
hdence, my patience, my temper, my
clamps, lamp, bell, and reputation.
broke one pedal, the saddle, and the or
dinance against loud, boisterous and abu-
sive language at night. 1 ran into every
thing in sight except the middle of the
road. I sat down on every thing in the
township except the saddle; l scorched in
circuit not fifteen feet in circumference
until you could smell birthstone. 1 made
more revolutions than a South American
republic, and didn't get ten feet away
from where 1 started. 1 haven't been so
mauled and abraded, so thumped and beat
en-, so trampled upon and pounded, so
bruised and scra tched since l left the
army. But 1 can ride
1 don't say that l do" But 1 can
Do I consider hiking good for the
health?
For the health of some people, 1 do. I
don't see how physician can bring up his
family unless his children have some thing
to eat.
But in my own case, I reserve my de-
cision. 1 will wait until 1 know whether
1 am going to die or get we'll. And do
you tell Brother Davis to keep his obit-
Uary on the standing galley until he hears
from Slug Nine" 1 don't believe I've
got "30' yet. Although friends who have
called to see me break down when they
say good bye and walk out of the room
on tiptoe. But wouldn't mind that if
knew what became of my shoulder blades
the time l ran under the hay wagon.
Cheerfully yours, Robert ]. Burdette.