Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
SQUARED ACCOUNTS.
HOW DE SMITH TURNED SEVERAL Ia
BLES ON HIS FRIEND JONES.

With Several other Annoying Plsssan-
tries and Wound Up With Grand On
slaught Of Life Insurance Agents.
"Well. I guess I've got even with
Jones all right enough for all the prac-
teal jokes he has been playing on me
for the last week." said De Smith
gleefully, as he hung up his coat and
took his seat at the luncheon table with
a party of friends.
"How's that?" asked one of the
friends
well. Jones is q great joker. You
know" explained De Smith. HE
thinks it's a good thing to thump and
pound like the deuce ON a fellows door
as he goes down the hotel corridor
about o'clock in the morning He new
er goes to bed when q decent man
should, and he rather resents it il any
of his friends do. He has been pound
ing ON my door that way now almost
every morning for the past week"
"Why didn't you get up and kick
him?" asked one Of the party.
II did try to three or four times, re
piled De Smith, "but he always got
down the hall little way and then
laughed at me. But I'm even with him
now. Twas fixed for him when he came
along this morning. I had q big pail Of
water fixed over the transom, and when
old Jonesiecame along and began thump-
ing 1 pulled the string fastened to it,
and heard old Jonesie curse under his
breath and mutter, Darn you, De
Smith, I'll get even for this Then he
walked down the hall and I looked out
in time to see him shaking the water
off his coat and hat"
THAT was getting even pretty we'll,
old man. wish could have seen him
when the food struck him." put in one
of the party.
"Oh, that was all right for start
err" said De Smith, "but it wasn't
half the dose gave him after. You
see, Jones has been breaking my sleep
for week, and it took more than q
bucket of water to square accounts.
anticipated his visit of this morning,
so last night before going to bed I left
an order to call him at 8 o'clock. Old
Jonesie didn't get to bed before
o'clock, so he didn't get much sleep be-
fore 6. Then bell boy began to pound
Oh his door and shout that it was time
to get up. Jones shouted back to the
boy to get out or he'd break his neck,
but the boy replied that he had orders
to get Jones out Of bed and he was 60
ing to do it. Finally Jones got up in
his rage and hustled down to the hotel
Office to find out what in thunder they
meant by breaking his sleep that way
The clerk told him there was an order
for call at O'Clock, and that was all
he knew about it.
well, Jonesie went back to bed, but
he didn't get to sleep again. paid the
bell boy enough to prevent that, and at
o'clock he came down to breakfast I
was down town by that time, 10 rang
Jonesie up on the telephone. My office
boy got him ON the wire and told him
to wait just moment, please. Well.
Jonesie waited about FIVE minutes and
then gave the bell vicious ring. The
boy answered the ring and asked Jonesie
what he wanted. 4 want to know who
rang me up, said Jonesie. Nobody
here said the boy, and he said he
heard Jonesie swear as he rang off,
well, gave him that telephone
racket three times before he caught ON.
He was pretty hot, I guess, when he
reached his Office, but had q reception
for him there. had telephoned to a
lot of my life insurance friends that
Jonesie wanted to take out policy be-
fore leaving the city in the afternoon
and advised them to send man around
to see him. There were two in the office
when he reached it, and five more came
| in during the morning
Zones thought he was going to do a
lot of work, too, but as a matter of fact
he spent the day explaining that he
didn't want any life insurance or any
thing else but chance to tend to his
own business. One of the agents finally
let it out that had recommended Jones
as good risk, and he rang me up at
once. I've got enough, he says. Pm
willing to call it all square if you are.
You've got the best of it, I admit, he
squalled, so told him was willing to
call it off if he would remember not to
hammer ON my door hereafter when he
was going by at in the morning. He
replied that he wouldn't rap at my door
again if the hotel was afire, and so we
called it Off
Jones has beaten me out Of whole
lot of sleep of late, but guess I'm
even, fellows. What do you Think"
And De Smith leaned back in his chair
and looked at himself admiringly in the
mirror across the room. - Chicago
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