The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-11-26

cne-cO you oOnt IKE tnht nat just
In front OF us? How would you like It
trimmed? He (savagely)-With lawn
Bits.
The Captain Cboisterously)-C Come.
old man. brace up, What's got into
your Passenger-If you don't put me
ashore you'll very soon see.-Life.
Poor, motherless girIr' he exclaim-
ed, and turned sadly away. What he
wanted was a motherless girl who
should be In moderate circumstances.
at least.-Puck.
Scotch.-McSporran Qeaving home,--
Moo. Janet, dinna forget to max leetle
Sandy TAX his glass e'e DOT when he's
ma lookin' at acthing.-New York
Truth.
She-Oh, James, how grand the sea
Is. How wonderful. l do so like to
hear the roar OF the ocean. He-So
do 1, Elizabeth. Please keep quiet
Lustigen Blaetter.
Cholly Ricketts, (tragically)- Refuse
me, dearest, and shall enter mon
astery and be monk. Maude Sum
merhirt-Monastery. Don't you mean
menagerie Puck.
Joking aside, madam, two girls
have gone insane from love of me
and you say you really cannot love
meT mo. baron" Third case of in
sanityr'-Fliegende Blaetter.
Old Millyuns-Young man, my
daughter tells me you kissed her last
night. Percival Tootles-Well. II she
wants to go Dragging about it, that's
her privilege.-Chicago Record.
Weary Wnlie-Ef you he'd million
dollars, Fields, wot would you do wit
1t? Flowery Fields-W'y, wouldn't
do nuttn' wit it'd jest rest easy and
let II do sutt'n' wit me.-Truth.
Everybody seems to be on an equal
ity In Klondike," said the shoe-clerk
boarder. YES" said the Cheerful
Idiot zone man can cut. as much ice as
another up there. "-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
Mr. Gotrox-What would you expect
me to do for my daughter II you mar
ried herr George Goodthing slightly
embarrassed)- You-er-wouldn't be
willing to die for her, would your
Judge.
Paw" asked the little boy" what
Is a brain-worker?" "A braln-work
err said the old man, " is a man who
has to spend all his salary in dressing
up to the position he holds. Typo
graphical Journal.
lsaacstein-Dot vas n Quveer tins
vot happenedt to Rosenbaum's shtore
Dere vas burglary undt shmal
IRE der same night. Cohenstein-Ye
Rosenbaum toldt me dot he came oudr
shoost eyen.-Puck.
Papa" said Billy. tearfully. after q
playful romp with the good-natured
but rather rough St Bernard puppy
II don't believe Bingo knows whar
kind OF a dog he is. He plays as II he
thought he was little pug."-Bazar
Young Lady-You are wonderful
master of the piano, | hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasion)-l
blay aggompaniments sometimes
Young Lady-Accompanlments I,
singing? Professor Won Spieler-Ag
compartments to gonversations.-Tit
Bits.
Mrs. Newlywed-That Is our new
burglar-alarm-you see, If burglar
should get into the lower part Of tn,
house, that would ring. Her mother
Oh'-and scare him on? Mrs. Newly
wed (doubtfully)-Well, IT might; bu
1t would give Clarence and me pIent,
of time to hide in the attic, anyway
Puck.
First Assistant lin Daily Hustler OF
fce)-lt strikes me that the editor 4
becoming decidedly absent-m minded
Second Assistant-Why do you thinI
so? First Assistant-Why, In tina
long article on the wonderful progress,
OF mankind during the reign of Queer
Victoria, he never once mentioned IN,
increase In the circulation Of the Hus
tler.-Puck.