Cottonwood report. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1893-1901, 1897-12-17
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Olebatch-The girls are not so pretr
as they were twenty years ago. Miss
Porte-Well, neither are you.
Hell envy the man who sang the
tenor solo. She-Wny, thought he
had very poor voice. He-So did l.
But just think of his nerve!
An Eastern editor says: "Our wom-
en- are accused of being fond Of whist
ling. Well, SO be it. What Is more
lovely than tulips well blown?"
Office Boy-There's a man outside,
sir. says won't you please give him 10
cents for bed? Slobson-Tell him to
bring 1t In and Eli take look at 1t.
First Maid Mr.. Spooney has had
miraculous escape. Second Maid
How? First Maid-He died upon the
eve Of his wedding day.-Toledo Bee.
/ The Wife-What sweet smile there
is on the baby's face, John! The Hus-
band-Yes; he's probably dreaming
that he's keeping me cwake.-Tid-B Bits
He-They say iron enters largely in
to the composition Of the human sys-
tenn. She-I suppose that is the rea on
a man loses his temper when he gets
hot.
The Bright Youngster.-Mam II
am good will go to heaven? Man,
ma-Yes, dear. The Bright Youngster
How'll get oack?-Cincinnati Tri-
bune.
John, If you don't quit referring to
!, me as the old woman I'll make you
sorry for it." What will you do, DEAR"
"I'll be a new ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Journal.
Miss Gabbington-Why, Mr.. Prlmp-
J ley, you are not looking well. Is it a
9 fact, as reported, that you are subject
to pains in your head? Primpley-No;
' there's nothing in it.
s Not Necessary Now.-Bobbie Bunt-
f ing-I guess that fellow must be en-
t gagged to sister at last. Willie Slimson
1 Why? HE has suddenly stopped CIV
n ing me money."-Life.
J. Henry, do you believe in the uni
e versal brotherhood of man| Believe
: In 1t? l should say so; down at the
n seashore this summer had thirty-fve
y sisters. "-Detroit Free Press.
t 1.-THE average man." remarked the
l. observer of men and things, will &C
knowledge the corn where the aver
age woman would pretend 1t was {
n sprained nkle."-Detroit Journal.
II Harris-Don't you think that likini
/ for oysters grows upon one? Gordon
/ Well, don't know. Fact is, you know
1t 1t Is seldom one sees the same oyste
W more than once.-Boston Transcript
= II am so sorry, Charles, you dom
: admire my new frock. Everybody say
- =, 1t is charming" said a young wife
= "Your friends, my dear, pay you con
pliments: l pay your bills" reptile
her husband.
IN '1f l should fall out of the hammoc
be what would you do?" she asked. 9
10. would catch you In my arms" he al
ar swered promptly. Get ready" sh
no said, with feminine impulsiveness.-
V. Chicago Post.
IT. "a baby" remarked the observer {
nd men and things, may not have q
nd much sense as a man, bu. don't imai
ON Inc a baby believes every woman VIII
comes along and tells him she love
him."-Detroit Journal.
Puritan Youth-(SunGay evenin
IA long ago)-Prithee, Priscilla, thinke
IN thou it be truly goodly for maiden foil
" to kiss on Sunday? Puritan Maiden
fear not; but thou knowest we be n
- married yet.-New York Weekly.
A Matter of Etlquette.-''Hicks
crazy about etiquette. He saw in q
ed paper the other day that in the be
circles the wife ladies out the soup, al
he has consequently given up coup
"WhyP" "He has no wife."-Tid-Bi
"Great Scott, Rastus! You look as
YOU had been fighting buzz-saW
ak '.Yessah. / was In dat smash-up In
ost Rucktown Wheelmen's race" Il hea
yer. about that. How did 1t happen
inc "Dollah fell out'n de pacemaker's poo
ve5 Of right In de middle OBJ de race
six cinnati Enquirer.
one Sparring Teacher-What? No me
the lessons? Why, you only took ty
zen Amateur (much the worse for wear
fits You see, wanted to take enough
,ere sons so that could learn enough abb
rap the manly art to lick man. l
zen changed my mind now. l guess v
send the fellow down to take the
,out of the essons.-Rochester Democ
t of and Chronicle.
nore Photographer Ito sitter)-I saw
hers at church last Sunday. Miss Skies
ntry sitter-Oh, did you? Photographic
,urn Yes: and also your friend, Miss Bro'
ON III you could raise your chin a tri
1t a Thanks.) And what an atroclous-lo
the ing hat she had on. (Afer pau
be- There, Miss Skeate, 1t Is over an
E on think we have caught very pleas
expression.-Punch.