davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
THE MERRY SIDE OF LIFE.
STORIES THAT ARE TOLD BY THE
FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS.

Those Cycling BeIIs-Quite tho Reverse
A Strike for Funds-Not Sensitive
Rule of Natural seiection-It Took the
Edge OT-Prayer of the Elopers, Etc.
Those cycling bells, those cycling bellsl
How many a tale their jangling tells
OF people gone before their time
Who needed not their startling chime.
To everyone they bring dismay,
And many heart that once was gay
Within the tomb now darkly dwells
Tho Victims Of their direful knells.
And so twill be when ] am gone:
Those dangerous peals will still ring on,
For though each heart rebellious swells
There's naught can quell those cycling
bellsl
New York Tribune.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

'Do you think we have reached
Memphis?" asked Polly, anxiously.
To Polly it seemed as if they had
been drifting for hours.
For long time they remained al
most still. Occasionally they joined
their voices in a great shout, but there
was no answer. Fred said the water
roared so loud that no one could hear
it, anyway, but it eased their spirits to
be doing something.
At last they started again with jerk
and q shiver, as if some Of the timbers
of the building had given away. They
bumped on for what seemed an endless
time, and then, after scraping along
for some minutes, they again stopped.
BY this time the rain had ceased and
the moon shone out family through
the clouds.
"There's lights" cried Polly, joy.
fully.
Sure enough, on the hill, not such
great distance away, they could see
many lights cleaning out over the
water. Nearer, there were other
lights moving about, as if in boats.
cts Memphis" said Polly, and
then they all shouted at the top of
their voices.
But no one heard them. The water
roared too loudly. SO they sat for
hours and hours seemed to them
until the gray light of morning began
to break in the east. They strained
their eyes as it grew brighter and
looked off across the gray flood of
water with its scattering heaps of
wreckage to the town on the hill.
'I thought Memphis was q bigger
city than that, said Polly.
at isn't Memphis" said Fred, with
little joyful ring in his voice that
made Polly and her grandmother look
around quickly; 'it's Springville."
'Springville!"
And Springville it was. They could
see the little weatherbeaten church on
the hill, and the red brick schoolhouse,
and Judge Carsons home, and great
many other familiar places, although
some of the buildings that had stood
near the river had disappeared.
''But haven't we come only four
miles?" said Grandmother Melton,
looking greatly surprised.
Half an hour later two boats came
alongside and the castaways were car
ried ashore. On the bank Polly found
herself in the arms of her father cry
ing and laughing all at once. Father
Melton looked old and worn and wor-
ried. He had given up his family for
lost, and he was bravely helping the
other people in the work of rescue.
After the food was subsidized the
Meltons went down to look over their
home. Father Melton hardly knew
what to do, but Polly spoke up quite
promptly.
81 tell you, father, let's leave it
right here and live in it; Fred and ]
won't have so far to go to school,"
And what do you think? That is
just what Father Melton did. He
Strengthened the house around, built O
new foundation under it, and the Mel
tons are living there to-day, quite hap
py and contented. SO you see the
flood helped two persons at least
Polly and Fred Chicago Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
In the Wrong Box.

"Well, that's a funny thing!" ex-
claimed Mrs, Snaggs, who had been
reading a newspaper. "A witness in
court did not know in what month the
Fourth of July occurs! What do you
think of that?"
81 think that he should not have
been called as a witness. He ought to
have been a juror. "-Pittsburg Chron-
icle Telegraph.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
wnter Cnrrled the Current.

At a recent fire in the basement of
a Chicago electric power-house, the
firemen had great trouble in getting
at the blaze. They had to chop holes
in the floor of the dynamo-room be-
fore they could get stream ON the
blazing pile of waste. Not waiting
S'Ne dynamos to be shut down they
through the black smoke and
turned a stream on the flames.
In an instant they were flung TO the
ground with great violence, and the
hose sent flying into the air A heavy
current had passed along the stream
and had shocked them. Though un-
conscious when rescued they quickly
recovered. Electrical Review.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

New York City is to have new
Academy of Design, to be erected ON
the Boulevard near the tomb of Gen
eral Grant, the Cathedral of st. John
the Divine, and the new University of
Columbia, and will add another to the
magnificent group of buildings that is
now rising on the west side Of the city
between Central Park and the Hudson
River
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
4 srrles of Cnlncidences.

The sixty-second double wedding
anniversary was recently celebrated,
in a small town in Indiana, of Moses
and Isaac Marty, twins, who married
Tabitha and Layinia Mccormick, twins.
Each couple has had seven sons and
five daughters, the first children be-
ing born within a few days of each
other, and the last children also being
of almost exactly the same age. .-Medl-
cal Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
The Chicago Overcont.

"Dodds is cutting great dash in his
Chicago overcoat."
Chicago overcoat? What's that?"
eur on one side and linen duster
on the other"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

The project of turning Brussels,
Belgium, into a seaport seems to have
set the citizens almost crazy. The mu-
nicipal council has passed resolution
for the construction of a huge electric
lighthouse in the centre of the city, on
the Place de Brouckers, TO serve as o
beacon to ocean steamers, as well as
an ornament to the city.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
SOMEWHERE.

Somewhere, the laurel we missed while here
The bays oqr foreheads reached for I'm
vain,
Somewhere the chaplet shall ne'er grow sere
Nor loss prove victor DER laggard gain;
The glory be real that once was dream
The mountain be leveled to vale below,
And bridge shall span the flercest stream,
Our feet no longer be halt nor slow.
Somewhere, Is the rest for which we strive,
The breast to pillow a weary head
A priest to listen and cheer and shrive,
A life OF living where naught is dead;
peace as gentle as yonder cloud
That hecks with beauty a shining skv.
Shall fill each heart, while the song birds
loud
Are trllling music that ne'er can die.
hamilton Jay, in the Florida Times Union,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Her majesty the Queen has a double
in the person of an elderly lady who
oceupies-or occupied position in
the Middlesex Hospital, where she was
known as the "Queen of Middlesex.
She is the exact age of the Queen, and
became a widow in the same year that
the Queen lost her consort.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
1t Took tho Edge on.

The Customer-"C "Confound you! you
have cut my cheekw
The Barber-"By Jove! so I have. I
was wondering what had taken the
edge off my razor"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

One of the few communistic socie-
ties, the Adonai Shomo, has passed
out Of existence and its property in
Petersham, Mass, has been sold. It
was of Adventist origin, originating
about thirty-five years ago, and was
most prosperous in the '70's.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

A new method of testing the hard
ness of steel balls has been devised in
Germany The balls are dropped from
a fixed height ON glass plate set AT
an angle; if properly tempered they re-
bound into one receptacle and if they
are too soft they drop into another,
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
SUNSHINE.

A lesson in Itself sublime,
a les lesson on worth e3shrinine, 81 -
Save whom the sun Is shining.b y.
AS life Is sometimes bright and fair, y
And sometimes dark and lonely,
Let us forget the toll and care,
And mote bright hours only" &
-, ~.
The darkest shadows Of the night
Are Just before the morning; y
Then let us wait the coming light,
All boding phantoms scorning.
And while we're passing on the tide
OF Times fast ebbing river,
Let's pluck the blossoms by its side
And bless the gracious giver.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Somewhere, know, we shall find them all,
The rose that blossomcd beyond our
reach.
The star that hid meath an inky pail
Just as we staggered across tho beaohj
The bird that stihed its cunning song
Just as we paused a moment to hear,
The fruit ne'er ripened for which we long,
The skies that darkened will all be clear.
Somewhere, know that the kisses wait
For which we languished In days gone by,
And smiles will greet us alert, elate,
For which we waited In years that die.
The words unspoken come loud and clear,
The words withheld in the dim, sad past
Shall fll with rapture our llst'ning ear,
The hearts best pulses beat sweet and
fast.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

81 don't mind being shot, confded
one English sparrow to another, ''it's
being served up as a reed bird that
hurts my feelings"
"Why does that trouble you?"
because it is making game of me-. "
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

"Papa, we have come back to ask
your forgiveness"
"All right. Have you paid the par
son, or is that charged to me?"
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
Explaining the Twnng.

"Why do you Americans talk through
your noses?" asked Lord Toplofty.
81 don't know" said Hicks. "Poss-
IDLY because our ancestors didn't all
have hats to talk through, like you
English. Harper Bazaar.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Start kick man when he's
down"
Dart-"And if you kick him when
he's down, better see to it that you
kick him hard enough to keep him from
getting up again. Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

At the present rae of growth Of
population, France will have only
40,000,0 600 at time when Germany
will have reached 10O,0OO,00O and
Russia 200, 900, 600.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Statisticians declare that only six
teen out of each 1000 insane persons
become so by reason of love affairs.
These figures apply, however, only to
persons in asYlums.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Goslin-''I weplied to an advertise
ment which said, Send 81 for sure
method of saving doctors bills.
Dolly-"Well?"
Goslin-"Then the answer was;
Don't get sick. "
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

"Here, waiter" cried Galley,
"what's this?"
"Dat's de change, sab, foh de five
dollar bill you arst me to change for
you"
"Thats all right, said Galley; 81
gave you five and you bring me back
four. l didn't ask for so decided
change as all that. "-Harper's Bazar.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

May-"The man marry must be
perfectly handsome.
Belle-'You are wise. People
should always marry their opposites. "
Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

"After all, said the man, at the end
of the discussion, emo man really
knows what his neighbors think Of
him"
81 came mighty near knowing once, "
said the citizen, with a reminiscent
look in his eye, "but the jury dis
agreed. indianapolis Journal.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
Disgusting Barbnrity.

Europe" said the South American
statesman, sis 80 excitable."
eyes"
eyes; they don't even have a little
war without shooting each other. -
Detroit News.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Dollie-"Was it quiet spot where
you kissed Mollie?"
Cholly-"No; it was on the mouth.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
:Harcourt's Dirty Chimney.

Sir William George Venables Vernon
Harcourt, NJ. p, Liberal leader in the
British House of Commons, has been
fined 81. so and costs in London Po-
lice Court for allowing his chimney to
catch fire through not having been
cleansd.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
\ Strike for Funds.

Bank Barn-"What was the last
word you had from your son at col
lege?"
Hay Rick Money. Puck.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

GRANDMOTHER
Melton lighted
the kitchen lamp
and set it in the
middle Of the ta-
bic.
eve might as
well have sup
per, she said.
NY father
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

F1sflie horseless carriage has come to
stay. The automobiles have been
lately introduced in the Paris fre de-
,,artrent -
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Reporter-'"That rhinoceros has q
skin two inches thick.
"Humph. He'd make o
good editor. Truth.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Miss Hughes's family knows of no in
cident in her life which should occa-
sion such peculiar epitaph.-Chicago
Record.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

The ancients knew how to cheat.
LOADED dice have been found in the
ruins Of Herculaneum.
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09

Nora NJ. Hughes, an unmarried
woman about forty-one years of age,
died the other day, and left will
which provided for the division of her
property estimated at Sl5, 900 or
$40, ,OOO-among her relatives, and for
a monument over her grave with this
inscription:
The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-06-09
A FLOOD THAT HELPED.

}::E}:E
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
Communicated

Mr.. Editor-All people have griev-
ances. and suppose that am no ex-
ceptlon to that rule. but what desire to
speak about Is the abomnable practice
of the firing of a. gun at and 6 o'clock
In the morning to wake the sailors on
the receiving ship up and for them to
retire at night 1t is ancient and should
have been abolished years ago, but If it
Is one of the rules Of the navy and must
be done. then I would like to suggest
that those who fire them to use less
powder and the reports will not be so
loud. and VIII not startle persons who
are very sick and nervous like II does
Friday night the report was very loud
and caused lady, who is very sick, to
almost have spasm. Let those who
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
COFFEE AND IT'S USES.

When there are In a community cpl
denies Of typhoid fever. cholera, cry
sipelas, scarlet fever and the various
types of malarial fever, which are
transmitted almost entirely through
the medium Of food and drink, coffee
Is valuable agent, and may be used as
drink instead of water.
1t Is valuable agent in assisting In
the digestion of food, and aids the blood
In taking up more nourishment than
1t would without dt
1t quickens the circulation of the blood
and respiration
1T Is also stimulating and refreshing
(duc to the caffeine It contalns.)
In tiding over nervousness In emer-
sencies II is n sovereign remedy.
AS a stimulant and calorc generator
In cold weather 1t Is 100 per cent.
ahead OF whiskey Or other liquors.
AS n dtsfnfectant 1t Is one Of no small
usefulness In the sick chamber.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
RELIGIOUS NOTICES.

Central M. e. church. Rev. George II.
Fay, ID. D.. misunderstanding Mt II a,
m. and p. m. Morning subject, Child
training" evening, Joy Among the
angels" Junior League at {; D. m,
prayer and praise meeting at 2:3o p. m.
calvary Baptist church, Rev. p. S. c.
paws. pastor-services as follows: Sun
gay school at $50 a. m. Preaching at
II a. m. by the pastor. Preaching at 1880
p. m. by Rev. w. II. Baylor, the former
pastor Sunbeam Society at p. m.
Address by Rev. c. B. Williams, OF
Winton, n. c..
Port Norfolk Baptist chapel-Sunday
school at p. m. Preaching at 4 D. m.
by Bro. Braxton CraIgg, OF West Nor
folk.
Monumental M. e. church, Rev. l.. B.
Betty, pastor-Sunday school at 9:15 a.
M. Preaching at II a. m. and 8 p. m.
Court Street Baptist church, Rev. A.
e. Owen, pastor-Servlces to-day as
follows: Sunday school at $50 a. m.
Preaching at II o'clock "a. m. by the
pastor. Subject, '"rne Spiritual Wea-
pons Of the Christian Soldier" The
LORDS Supper will be administered at
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
Free Pills.

Send your address to II. r. Bucklen
& Co., Chicago, and get a free
sample box Of DR.. Kings New Life
Pills. A trial will convince you of their
merits. These pills are easy In action
and are particularly effective in the
cure Of Constipation and Sick Head
ache. For Malaria and Liver troubles
they have been proved Invaluable. They
are guaranteed to be perfectly free from
every dcleterious substance and to be
purely vegetable. They do not weaken
by their action. but by giving tone to
stomach md bowels greatly Invigorate
the system, Regular size, Csc. per box.
Sold by BurroW. Martin & Co., drug
gsts.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
.R0R'l'SNO nth
fContlnued on SIKH Page.>

CONTINUED on Sixth Page)
tailoring Is given special attention by
this firm.
Con siderable excitement was created
LAST night by, q drunken woman being
brought to the county jail in a buggy,
screaming all along the street. Some
.one started q rumor that she had muir
dered some one and a crowd followed
The committee on opening the roads TO
the county said yesterday that they
knew the city had no money to spend on
county property, but they were not de-
spondent-they would have the road yet
The departmental system has been es-
tabllshed In our public schools, and 1t is
{: expected to produce good results. AT
first the children were very much oppos-
ed to 1t, but as they begin to understand
1t, they rather like the system.
The funeral Of little Roxanna infant
daughter Of Mr.. and Mrs. John c. Sands.
took place from her parents residence
yesterday at 2 o'clock. Rev. ]. 4. Bos-
man. pastor of Wright NJ. e. church
conducted the services and the inter-
ment was in Oak Grove cemetery.
In this Issue Messrs Brcslauer d
Anthony gives notice that they have
made extensive preparations for cold
spell, and that their stock Is complete.
They claim that their goods were bought
before the tariff went Into effect. SO that
they are not affected by 1t. See ad.
In this Issue Messrs. John a. Norris
& Co. offer special inducement In chill
dren's school quits. Prices range from
$1.4S to S1.9S In pants he offers such
Inducements as have never been offered
before. They are from cents upwards.
See list of prices and give him call.
May Casey, colored, wanted to expand
her lungs on Friday night, so she hol-
lowed at the top of her voice just to
amuso herself. officer Hutchins came
along and objected to Mays noise. and
carried her to the station house. Yes
terday she had a hearing, was fined IS
and In default was given ten days. May
says the officer grudgcs her of her lib
erty; SAYS she was not drunk and did not
halloo, but this had no effect
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
Primers POINT WATER AND
LAND COMPANY

In this issue the above company gives
notice that they have sold over one
haif or their lots in the past six months
out sun have n number of good ones
left They have made n contract to
nave an electric railway completed
through their property before December
ISL; also to have the streets lighted
by electricity. With these advantages
IL makes 1t desirable place to live. A
number or improvements have bet0
made there in the past year and MANY
more VIII be made. Those who Dur-
chase before October LIST will have the
advantage of the present prices. After
mat time they will be increased. For
particulars of prices, etc, see advertise
meht. The terms are moderate and
easy.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
The company hopes to be uniformed bs
the time the truck gets here. There are
forty-fve members.
(COmmunica.ted.l

Mr. Editor-I would like to- know II
the people OF this city. whose business
causes them to use vehicles, have no
rights at the corner Of County and
Court streets? The entire place Is block
ed up by the street railroad and the con-
tractors for the Pythlan Castle. 1t is
Impossible for team to pass there
without driving on the railroad track.
Some step should be taken to prevent
this Since the other streets are al
most as bad by calling the authorities
attention to this you will ccnfer a favor
on PHYSICIAN
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
WESTERN BRANCH SCHOOL TRIJS
TEES MEET

=. me Western Branch District School
trustees met in the county Treasurers
01iice yesterday afternoon at 1 O'Clock.
superintendent West called the meeting
TO order. Several minor petitions were
read. after which the Jones case came
up. That gentleman stated he did not
th:nk he was treated fair by the canvass
ana stopped 1t. Other statements were
made by Mrs. Jones and Messrs. Elliott,
van Patten, Culpepper and others. and
at one time 1t looked as If a scrap would
take place, but II was quoted ,l:,wn.
Some of the members Of the boa d failed
TO vote and those present dscidcd to
give it to Mr. Jones, who will take
charge on The 20th
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
SENT on CHAlsG Ep WIrH MURpER

a negro named Annie Virgins was
arrested by Constable Linnehan yestcr-
day, charged with child desertion. 1t
seems that the woman left her child
with woman named Lizzie Elliott to
take care of while she went off to hunt
work. The child was only 3 weeks old
then After an absence of two or three
years the WiggiHs woman returned to
find that her child was dead.
VIM. Sanderlin, the father Of the child,
was also arrested but upon -investiga-
ton yesterday before Justice Sykes the
evidence showed that Andrew Sanderlin,
brother of VIM. Sanderln, and Lizzie
Elliott had destroyed the child. VIM.
Sanderlin, the father. and Annie Wig
gins. the mother, were both dismissed
and Andrew Sanderlln and Lizzie FL
lott were sent on to court on the charge
Of murder.
The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-12
FOOTBALL.

The members of the Portsmouth foot
ball team are again reminded that there
VIII be practice tomorrow night al the
FOOT of Court street at s o'clock, and all
are urgently requested to he on hand
Manager Gerlle is enthusiastic over the
prospects OF good team this year and
thinks they Will hold their own against
the many strong teams they are booked
to play. Wei. boys. get together and
do not let the Portsmouth rooters who
are pinnlng their faith to you, be dis
appointed