The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-07-07
HARD TO PLEASE.

~ Illustrated the dlfHoulty Of pleasing
Il woman. 1t should be mentioned that
the woman i'll question, who wos vonnr
and pretty, was also very wet. nnd ey.
crybody knows thut wet woman is for
more exaotlng and captious tbnn dry
woman. Still, inasmuch as this portic
mar young woman was excessively hard
to please when she was thoroughly dry.
st may be assumed that her wetness did
not make any material change in her
character.
Among her lovers are two who have
hitherto been popularity regarded as tho
leaders Of the field and on whom the
local betting has been very nearly even.
One of these two-Mr. Scott-is n
young man of tho most gentle and ami
ablo disposition, whose constant effort
is to please his lady love. The things
that young man has bought her, tho
times TINT he has taken her to ride. and
the money that ho has lavished in flow
ers for her benefit could not be COM
puted without large CONSUMPTION of
chalk. In point of moral character he
has seldom been equaled and never ex-
cellcd and is especially conspicuous for
MIR. Dobbs, his rival. is in NIL respects
his exact opposite. Mr.. Dobbs is addict
ed to horse racing and other wicked
ways, and he has never been known to
put himself to the slightest inconven-
lenco or expense i'll order to CRAFTY the
young lady whom no processes to adj
mire. On Monday, Wednesday and Fri.
day evenings-the other evenings of
the week being pre-empted by Mr..
Scott-he is accustomed to call OH Miss
Wilson-which, by the way, is the young
lady's name-and sit for an hour, with
his chair tipped back against the wall,
discussing politics with old MI. Will
son.
III almost every other locality the
betting would have been heavily in ia
vor of Mr.. Scott, but the people of loot
ing, knowing Mr.. Dobbs' character.
and being persuaded that when he un-
dertakes to do anything the chances are
that no will do it Mt any cost, were
rather inclined to back Mr.. Dobbs. In
fnct, for the last six months the betting
has several times been 10 to OH Dobbs,
and OH ono occasion, when no bought
new pistol OH Wednesday morning, so
hopeful did his marriage prospects seem
to his hackers that they offered s to
OH him, with few takers.
1t was often remarked that MIR. Scott
lacked energy and that when Mr..
Dobbs was entirely ready to marry the
girl he would kill Mr.. Scott, pitch old
Mr.. Wilson out of tho window and
carry off his bride to the nearest church.
Then Miss Wilson took part in pie
mic excursion, and Messrs. Dobbs and
Scott, OF course, were also of the party
The entire company, including, say, 80
persons of assorted sexes, were lounging
after dinner Oh the bank of the stream,
when Miss Wilson suddenly felt de-
sire to walk out Oh log that projected
into tho water. Mr.. Scott implored her
not to do it, and Mr.. Dobbs, tenn
porarily removing his pipe from his
mouth, remarked, you'll get pretty
wet if you try it. -
Nevertheless, the willful beauty per-
sisted Ill her purpose. She had nearly
reached the end of the log when it
turned under her, and. with sharp
shrek she fell headforemost into the
stream. The water was about 4 ~ feet
deep, with a bottom of soft mud, and
INTO this latter tho head of the unfortu-
nate young lady penetrated some dis
lance. Being thus anchored, us it were,
her feetwavcd wildly above the surface
and muely begged for help.
1t was an awfully impressive scene,
and most of the ladies who were pres
ent said that though no one could call
them prudish, they must say that Miss
Wilson'S conduct was shameful.
MIR. Scott and Mr.. Dobbs smultane-
ously rushed to the rescue. The former
first reached Miss Wilson s feet, but in
stead of Selling them and pulling her
out stood as though wrapped in pro-
found thought. In another moment Mr.
Dobbs was at his side and would have
caught tho nearest Of the waving feet
mad not Mr.. Scott laid his hand on his
arm and begged him to reflect
:" 1t will be-, said Mr.. Scott, "to the
last degree indicate to pull her out by
tho feet, and I am sure she would not
like it. At any rate, let us ask the gen.
tlemen TO withdraw and then leave the
ladies to cxtricate our poor friend"
TO this Mr.. Dobbs simply made n
monosyllnbic and theological reply and
promptly hauled Miss Wilson oct.
When that young lady had be, some
what repaired, her fiIst act WAS to slap
Mr.. Dobbs' face and tell him that he
was Il brute and coward to insult her
by pulling her ont by the feet. IIr. Scott,
eager to improve the opportunity, has
tened to remark that he had warned Mr.
Dobbs not to do it and had himself re
Trained from touching her feet. Anoth-
cr slapand IL demand to know if he was
really fool enough to DO willing to let
her drown was the reply which aston
iSlCd MI Scott aftnr which MiSs Wi