The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-05-29
ABE AND THE KURNEL
THEY DISCUSS THE POSSIBILITIES OF
SOME GREAT IDEAS.

Lost and Wasted Power That Could BE
power In Chilblains and Common Coughs
to Turn the Wheels of Commerce.
"Mawnin, Kurnel Dawson; mawnin
to yo'," saluted Abe Crofoot as he en-
countered the good natured planter In
the corridor of the postoffice the other
day. "Say, kurnel, ever noticed anything
shuckless about me?" '5fE
"Why, no., replied the colonel. "Yo'
don't appear to git along as right well
as some, but I take it that circumstances
hev bin again yo'."
"That's it, kurnel; jest sarcum-
stances, and I'm glad yo' kin see it. 1
was BON too late to be a gineral and too
early to be president of the United
Stats, but these ere Pike county folks
can't overlook it"
''Shoo, shoot But yo' amt gwine to
give up, Abe?"
"Say, Kurnel Dawson replied Abe
az he stepped back to survey the colonel,
did yo' ever h'ar of the phenix bird?"
Cant rightly say I ever did, Abe.
Is it a crow Or a buzzard or some such
thing?"
1.-THE phenix bird, sah-the phenix
bird is a bird that rises up from the
ashes when all has been destroyed and
begins business ag'in. Yo' may burn all
his tail feathers off, but he rises jess the
same and proceeds to grow new ones.
He's got ambition and pluck, and he'll
git thar in the end. I'm that phenix
bird, kurnel."
"Shool Risin' right up, eh?"
"That's what I'm doin, sab, and it
won 7 be a month befo' these Pike county
folks will hide their heads fur shame.
I've got mo- ideas, kurnel-heaps and
heaps of 'em. All I want is a leetle
time to work 'em out. Yo've seen them
'~lectric street cars, I reckon"
"Of co'se.n
"What becomes of the Electricity after
1t gifts through runnin the carr"
"Shoo! Shool' replied the colonel as
he scratched his head and looked puz-
zled.
Wasted, Kurnel Dawson, wasted in
the air and the ground. Thar's a waste
of "a per cent of the power right along
every hour in the day. Why not save ii
and utilize it? That's one of my ideas.
That yere wasted power can be made to
pass a hat along and collect fares, to
push a fat man along on the seat and
make room, to open and close umbrellas
If it rains, to chuck a redheaded man of
the car if he won't pay his fare. 1t can
be made to do mo-, kurnal, heaps mo-
but yo' git my idea?"
II sorter git it, Abe-jess huff to sec
that it's a big thing. bound to be win.
ner. Say, Abe, thar ought to be riches
in it."
Fur shore. Gimme a month to thinl
it over, and / won't take a millyon dol
lars fur the idea. That amt all, how,
ever. That's only II of so big thing.
I'm workin ON. Yo've had chilblains OF
your feet, kurnel?"
"Yes, drat 'eml'
And yo've had to scratch 'em
Scratchin don't do no good, but that
allus the idea. In these United Staff
thar ar exactly 1888, 1853 people wht
hev chilblains every winter. Each on,
scratches a total OF 56 hours. Ever,
time yo' scratch a chilblain yo' put fo'tl
jess half of one Horsepower. Yo' kin cal
it 500 Horsepower wasted by 1888, i6'
people. That's Sol, 5S4, 900 hosspowe
gone to waste when it could be made +
distill and bar'l MP all the whisky man
ufactured in the United Stats. See tn
. pint, kurnel! Let EN- keep on scratchin
though it don't do nc good, but store n
the power and sell or rent it. Yo' Cal
come in ON the ground floor and TAX
stock at 30 cents ON the dollar, but it'll
go mp to 200 befo' a month rolls around
How does it strike yo'?"