Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1897-06-24
nj z a. Il 4
~ saIfaRlGs A aSc.ss~sss !

Ss"SNHty Y15A
"Our cook is crazy about bicycln,l
"Does sly ride much?' 'Ride! s.!
gets on her wheel to hang out the wasII
ing" Detroit Free Press.
"You are destined to marry riches
the seeress said, but but whats
death will claim you two years N
fore the event. Town Topics.
Shockitt Does learning the bicvs
require any particular applicato,s
Sprockitt-No; none in particular, n
MICA is about as good as anything d
Puck.
Willie Il told her my love was !,
great that nay brain was on an.
Charlie What did she say to thar
Willie Told me l had better blow +
out.-Yale Record.
A prim(eve)al joke: Eva-Did W.
eat that apple, Adam? Adam-rm 81
ry to say that did. Eve-And W.
going to make a pie with it! Adam
Then I'm glad I ate it.
Miss Thirtysnith (severely)-A ma
| should never call Gun girl after dnna
ing. Jack Swift (cheerfully) That's
fact Many man has become engage
in just that way!LPuck.
Freshby--Professor, is it ever DOS
bic to take the greater from the les
Prof. Potterby--There is pretty CID
approach to it when the conceit is taxi.
out of Observation-Disclosures JOra
nal.
She-I have been shut up in boardh
school SO long that I feel very AM
ward and timid in company. | do nj
know what to do with my hands.
PHI hold them for you.-Boston Ira.
eler.
Fuddy-So Widow Gray was at t
social last evening. 1t beats all. VIII
is she after-a husband? Duddy-C
the contrary, think she is after me-
who is not a husband.-Boston Tran
cript.
He-If you couldn't be yourself, vi
would you rather be? She-The ms
who marks down goods in the dry gOos
store. What lovely life he must leas
always having first choice -Clevelai
Leader.
"Tm going to be a cortortionist VIII
l grow up said little Johnny, prouA
ly; "1'm in training now, so l want w
to tell me what is the best thing for vi
to eat" Green apples, my boy.
chuckled the old man.-Demoress
Magazine.
The Parson-Your neighbor Loo
like very persistent man. He doesla
look as if he would give up anytMls
The Deacon-Well, I've been passisl
the plate for hard ON ten years, and
never see him give up anything YETI
Yonllers Statesman.
''This new SOAP" said the barb
''is very nice. 1t is made largely q
cream, with just dash of alcohol ri
it," ''Well, remember I'm temp Y
ance man." retorted Dobbers, "aF
don't put any more of it in my mOu
than you can help" Harlem Life 81
"Well, you've been married for ahul
six months now, haven't you? Do vi
think as much Of your wife as eyGss.rt
"More than ever, my boy, more tlFil
ever. She has not once suggested t,,aa
it would be a good idea for her to cav
the pocketbook. "-Cleveland Leadel'
81 don't understand why you disl y
Herbert so,' said Mabel to her faith
II don't think he has any ideas I'd
finance" Il am sure you wrong IL
He is devoted to it. He stopped ~
In the middle of his proposal to @
how your business was getting alOl
washington Star.
Dismal Davis-Say, boss, does yer wv
heve in de sayin' dat money tai
Uncle Reuben-Yes; what of it? lSS
NAL Davis-Yer see, I gets so lones
walkin' around wild meself dat if
could give me a dime fer company
make me feel better-New York
brne.
Something whizzed by--a minglel
of steel spokes and red bloOn
'What is that there?' asked
Hiram, withdrawing his gaze frolf
high building to look after the v.
s'That is the new woman" ansF
his nephew. '"The new woman?
like the old boy."-Indianapolls
nal.
81 do think a dog has good De-
intelligence" said the man Wit
spaniel, "but l am not as Do
Browne. He actually had the s10l
| tell me that he was thinking OF ~ srxs2
ing German so that he could talk rys11
wife without the dog understs
every word he said" -TypograH
! Journal. So
I'm glad to hear that Tom ana I
have settled their difference. a
lovers quarrel, / suppose"
hardly as trivial as that; but she
| ly admitted the possibility thai X