Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-09-30
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watts der madden NIT ity'-Truth.
Clerk-"You say you will take this
hammock, missY Shelves, but
want two of them" Clerk-"Very well,
madam."-Life.
A stumbling block: what Is the OBJ
lection of the politicians to the civil
service reform SYSTEM 1.-The exam
ination questions. Truth.
Clergyman-"My boy, do you know
it's wicked to fish on the Sabbath"
Youngster-"I isn't fishing; I'm teach
ing this ere wurm to swim. "-Tit-Bits.
Benedict (proudly)-"My wife kisses
me good night regularly" Rounder
(bitterly)-"Women are suspicious crea-
lures, amt they Y-Boston Herald.
First Boarder-"I wonder the land
lady let's him stay; everybody can see
that he drinks" Second Boarder-
"Yes; but he never has any appetite In
the morning. "-Punch.
Cook Ito policeman)-"How neatly
you carve that goosew with a sudden
outbuIst of jealousy You have de-
ceived me! / am not your first love-"
-F'liegende Batter.
"Why, George, you haven't smoked
any OF those cigars / gave you for q
birthday presentY mo, dear. I
couldn't find it in my heart to burn any
thing you gave me."-Jugend.
Yeast-"That man Doughton is very
skeptical. Unless he sees a thing, he
won't believe 1t exists" Crimsonbeak
-"He never ran into rocking-chair in
the dark, thenY'-Yonkers Stateman.
"What do you regard as the most i'm
portant event of the century," asked
the philosopher. "Well," answered the
wheelman, ''the finish is about as salts
factory as any part of the run."-Truth.
Tibbs-"She is not only flne-looking
girl, but they say she has fifty thousand
pounds In her own right" Nibbs-
"What would you do If you had wife
like that" Squibbs-"Nothing."-
Judy.
IT, said the pompous actor, twas
once where the shells fell SO thick and
fast that to escape them was impossi-
BILE" "And you are alive to tell it?"
"Oh. yes. The shells were loaded with
gg.'--DetrOit Free Press.
Farmer Summerboard Ito his SOM
"Enoch. guess it's about time to prune
them vines" Miss Citigirl lone Of the
boarders)-"Oh. do you raise your own
prunes? thought you bought Them at
the grocery!-Puck.
sgpbor sox, Crup,nx, +hot tho Ouoop
Of England has sixty pianos, and does
MT play any of them" I'm little bit
cramped this spring, but I'll buy my
daughter fifty-nine more if she'll follow
the queens example.
Words.
Mr.. Grabenthal-"Little Ikey has
ruined dot typewriter got him for his
birthday" Mrs. Grabenthal-"Vo has
he done with the beautiful type
writer? Mr.. Grabenthal-"H has got
der dollar-mark worn oudt alreadyT-
Truth.
Actress (who thinks of having ner
diamonds stolen for the sake of the adj
vertiscment)-"Has any one ever been
robbed mt this hotel?" Guest (summer
hotelJ-"None Of my friends have. We
nil took the precaution to settle about
rates before we came."-New York
Weekly.
did 1 understand you to say that
you didn't have any company in the
kitchen while was out, KatieY" "Yis,
mum; that's what said" But smell
the tobacco from pipe all through the
house." "Yis, mum; the policeman was
in for half an hour, mum. but we were
in the parlor. Statesman.
Mrs. Cobwigger-"I've been reading
an article entitled will the New Wo-
man Smoker What do you think, M
dear?" Cobwigger-"If she does she'll
soon die out" Mrs. Cobwigger-"How
sow Cobwigger-"Because she'll buy
bargain counter cigars at 10 cents a
box."-New York Journal.
what would you do if turned you
down." she shyly asked. as they sat on
the sofa. The young man looked
straight ahead, but said nothing. After
silence lasting about n minute and a
half she nudged him with her elbow and
said, Didn't you hear my question"
He looked around, alarmed. II beg
your pardon" he replied; II thought
you were addressing the s."-Puck.
Last night" said the Pessimist, II
went all over this town trying to find a
person who seemed to be enjoying him
self" "How many did you tind?'
mot one" said the Pesslmist, gloomily.
"If you had come up to my room about
trAx, A.
you might have seen one" "Humph,"
said the Pessimist, land what were you
doingY II was asleep" said the OPP
timist.--Boston Budget.
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