Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-08-05
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out means blow himself iust 80 10 %u1
up with the procession. avg 4
Does your minister practice MI,
breaches" He has preacbed y
often he doesn't need to practics i /" y
more."-Detroit Journal. ~
Waiter, it is almost half IN
since ordered that turtle sounr aS' sa
ry, sir, but you know how slow ,'
ties are. London Tid-Bits.
He-They say bicycles are drr, =,
the market this year. She-Tbat mn.
be the reason all the doctors ara ,s
scribing them.-Yonkers Statesman
Bass-Was that baby talk your vii,
was talking as came in? Fogg-T'
was mother talk; no baby | eyer cav
indulged in such gibberish.-BoSI@
Transcript.
The Chaperon-You should never m,
down your friend, my dear. The Chan
eroned-No danger of that: they can Al
beat me at scorching.-NewY York Eron
ing Journal.
Doctor Ito female patienO-You hsv,
a slight touch of fever: your tOngu.
has thick coat Patient (eycitd +
ly)-Oh, doctor. do tell me how it fits
Fact and Fiction.
Mistress-Now, you must alwau
sweep well behind the doors. Mar
Mary-Yes'm, trust me for that: rs III.
only way one can get the dust out Of
sight.-Pick-Me-Up.
Teacher-1 want each of YOU 10 MAKE
sentence. using the word delight in
it. Small boy (colored)-De wind come
in de winder an blowed out de light
Philadelphia Ledger.
He-I wonder if that couple are mar
ried. She-Certainly not. How
can you tell? She-Why, they've been
talking to each other for nearly half an
hour.-New York World.
rs this healthy portion of the
State?" asked a traveller in Arkansas
well, l should say it is. There las
been nobody hung about here in three
months. Texas Siftings.
Mrs. Sweet-Do you find it econOml.
cal to do your own cooking? Ms
Burnem-Oh. yes; my husband doesn't
eat half as much as he did when We
had cOok.-Boston Traveller.
1--WE have much new and valuable
information concerning the Hittites,
the Hivites, the Jebusites and the Moab
ties" His friend-How about the
Mosquitobites ?-Household Words
Poor chap! Bright fellow, but q
hopeless idiot. judge, from his talk
NO, indeed; he's merely quoting lit
tie passage from the latest Scotch uoy'
el."-Cincinnati CONCENTRATIONS
Clara-Are you not afraid, Maud, 10
marry old Dodderly? l hear he gets
horribly jealous without any cause.
Maud-Don't be anxious, dear; I'll take
care he never does -Me-up.
Its funny the shurref amt sc0uria'
the country for them stage robbers
said the postmaster. Il guess ven.
tured Rubberneck Bill. g that he ain't
got the sand."-Indianapolis Journal.
Wiggins-What makes you so certain
of Bawler's patriotism?-BOggs-Why
he just boils over with indignation
when he hears Of the wrongs of for
eigners that we have no interest in
Truth.
Widow-ls it true, captain, that
sailor has wife in every port! OK
Tar (savagely)-Madam. the sailo
needs the time he has ashore for res
and amuSement.-Phila NOrt
American.
Professor-What is the best cure TO
prolonged emanciation? Medical stu
dent-Throw the patient in the all
ProfessorLEh? What? Medical stu
dent-He'll come down plump.
York Press.
My good man, do you ever do any
thing to bring light and purity into tn
homes Of your fellow men?" "Yus-
lots" "You distribute tracts| "Nc
l clean windows and beats carpets V
Illustrated Bits.
Mrs. De Style flor effect)-Noral
Norah! Did you put my jewel cas-
away? Norah-Yis, mum, OF dl'
There on'y foive camphor balls lift
1t. Shall sind for some more, mum
New York Journal.
George, l wish you'd leave this lit
package at the express office" ME ca
ry bundle? guess not. Besides, "
got to lug both my tires and hand
bar down to the repair shop
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
He-You say you married a wester
man? She-Yes. "And that he new
drinks?" Never" "Nor smokes
mo, sir" Nor loses his temper