Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-12-15
dt'ausiae 6atheriags.

IN or near CnlcaSo.
s4- Western roads are handling an
unusual traffic in hogs, 40, 900 to $4,000
a day arriving in Chicago.
r9r In the opinion of Sam Small
civilization is failure. But perhaps
what he calls civilization is simply the
lack of it.
nag A Georgia jury recently brought
in tt following extraordinary verdict
"We, the jury, find the defendant al
most guilty."
saF Five thousand horses have been
shipped from Seattle to Alaska. Per-
haps the miners will prefer horse bee
to starvation.
B8- Don't give so many presents
Christmas that you won't be able tc
pay the bills that will be presented to
you January l.
@r "What did you find the creates,
difficulty you had to encounter in the
Arctic regions, NJ. Iceberger?" "Get'
ting back home"
aBa 81 never censure lazy people?'
"Why not? "The LATEST man or
earth isn't half as lazy as I would be
if 1 could afford it,"
a6~ The mines of the world produce
every year 54O,oOO,OOO tons of ore
coal, ETC., of which the United States
produces 16O,OO0,0OO.
H9~ There is remarkable church IN
the Black Forest, which is built or
such a plan that the men are unable
to see the women, and vice versa.
s4- Soldiers in the Italian army are
permitted to sleep couple of hours IN
the middle of the day. The time is
fixed in the general orders.
s8r In the year 100 there was only
one newspapers in the United States
Now there are more than in England
France and Germany put together.
a@ Fogg suggests that it is the Ger
ror" instead of the "era" of prosperi'
ty, when everything costs more and a
mans income is no bigger than ever
s@ Editor-"Why didn't you send
the carrier pigeon from the Klondike
with news, as agreed ?" Reporter
"Couldn't. Got hungry and ate the
bird"
bH a good colored brother said o.
his own minister, "He can take the
Bible apart as good as any man ever
seed, but he can't put it together
again."
a@ After Jimmy had attended schoo
a few days he begged to stay at home
Because" said he, "teacher says we
mustn't talk and I'm so tired of whis
pering!"
s4 Preaching to Klondikers that
the perils are certain and the profits
are dubious has about as much effect
on the gold fever as whistling against
the gale.
sH There is a musical school dis
trict down in Rockport, Me. There
are only % families, but they possess
II violins, 9 organs, 6 pianos, 2 banjos
and l guitar.
s9r IF the whole ocean were dried
up, ali the rivers of the world would
have to pour their waters into its ba'
sin for 10000 years before it would
again be full.
a9r In North Dakota the killing Of
quail and English and Chinese pleas
ants is prohibited until 1906, and
beaver and otter cannot be trapped
and killed until 1908.
a9r What is called an Alaska rose
has. been brought back by returning
miners. 1t looks like big sunfower
except that the bloom instead of large
petals is a mass of small yellow bios.
SONS.
a9 Spurgeon, who was annoyed
with anonymous letters, once an.
nounced from his pulpit that he
"would in future read anonymous let.
ters only when they contained five.
pound note for charity"
pdT General Miles looks upon the
military equipment of Europe as a
pretty sure indication of war. 1t is
rational conclusion that that is what
armies are for 4; otherwise what waste
of material great armies are.
B~ Enough said: Old Gentleman
(dictating indignant er)-"sir: My
stenographer being lady cannot take
down what l think of you. I, being a
gentleman, cannot think it; but you
being neither, can easily guess my
thoughts"
s@ First Cyclist-I always get ner.
vous when I see woman crossing the
street ahead of me. Second Cyclist-
So do I. They have so many pins in
their clothes that if a fellow collides
with them, be is almost sure to pune
ture tire.
R9 A little more taffy while man
lives and not so much epitaffy when
he is dead, is the admonition of a
Kansas minister concerning an oft-dis.
cussed theme. One of Speaker Reeds
happiest hits was his definition of q
statesman: "a politician-who is
dead"
B9 A New Jersey family which de.
clared itself absolutely destitute, re.
Gently appealed to the town authorities
for poor-relief. The application was
refused when it was discovered that the
sufferers owned two bicycles. The
wheel is useful and desirable posses.
sion, but can hardly be deemed a ne
cessary of life.
a@ A Kansas editor calls halt in
the matter of hypienic and sanitary