davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
Chicago Inter Ocean.
THINGS TO REMEMBER.

When you get into your ''knick-
ers" and go out to take a ride,
With a naughty air you cannot
quite conceal,
If you see the girls all gazing, don't
swell up and burst with pride
Yours is not the only '97 wheel!
When you think you've picked a
winner" in some dark horse"
at the track,
Don't get rash and think you're
going to own the earth.
Keep a quarter in your pocket, for
you'll find that walking back
Is thing completely destitute Of
mirth.
When you don your bathing cos
tune and go down to take
swim
Where the ladies all can see you
and adore.
Don't imagine you will dazzle them
until their eyes are dim
"You are not the only pebble on
the shore"
New York Sunday Journal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
WHAT HE PAID FOR.

An English peer. for some offense,
was called out by politician and
promptly responded to the cha,-
lenge. On arriving at home again
after the duel his lordship gave a
guinea 10 the coachman who had
driven him to and from the ground.
The driver appears to have been an
exceptionally honest, simple man.
He was surprised by the largeness
of the sum presented and said. My
lord, 1 only took you to- Yes.
yes. know that. but the guinea
is for bringing me back. "-t.rgo-
ndut.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
a GREAT IDEA.

Cumso-Tenspot is getting rich on
a brilliant idea OF his.
Cawker-What is i:2
Cumso-He has copyrighted
marriage certificate with transfer
blank on the back. and he can't be-
gin 10 supply the Chicago demand.
New York Truth
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
THE MOUNTING MERCURY.

THE MOUNTING MERCURY.
You may force down the thermom-
eter with all your might and
main,
You may crush IL with a blizzard
or a snowstorm or a rain.
But, blame the thing, IL travels
back to IS again.
So what's the use?
You may jam II down to zero. II you
hang out long enough.
And curse and swear and buster
like a pirate old and tough.
But pretty soon right back IL comes
--dodgast the measly stuff
So what's the use?
For mercury Is like to truth Git
gives US all a PAIN.
Though crushed and trampled 10 the
earth, twill surely rise again.
New York Telegram.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
THE DOOR.

There seems to be a smell Of
cooking around here" remarked the
traveller to the cannihal king.
Yes: that is the odor of sane
tity," replied his majesty, with
meaning smile.-Town Topics.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
PROVIDENCE AGAINST HIM.

the railroad ran over us re-
GENTLY" writes a rural editor, "but
in this, as in all other instances,
Providence was against us. The
fool engine only cut off our wooden
leg. and we can't get damages. -
Atlanta Constitution.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15

INSTRUCTION OF YOUTH.
Bobby-Popper. how did "Sleep
like a top" start?
Mr.. Ferry-It is mispronuncia-
ton. The original was sleep like
a cop."-Cincinnat Enquirer.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
RITTER REFLECTIONS

He gazed at the tiny mite of hu-
mainly that the angels had brought
TO his home. "One more mouth, :"
ne muttered gloomily-
No: he did not say ''to feed" for
he was not a story book working
man.
to listen to-"
1t was a girl.-Cincinnati En-
Ouirsr
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
WHAT SHE HAD DONE.

New Family Physician-Andn now.
my dear madam. if you will. briefly
tell me what you have already done
for your illness.
Madam-Europe and north Africa.
Detroit Journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
HIS WAR RECORD.

Jeems-It's a wonder Old Soak
wasn't killed during the war.
Deerss-Why so2''
Jeems-He was half shot 80 many
times.-Town Topics
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15

A SURE ENOUGH IRISH HERO.
An Irish officer who had the mis-
fortune to be dreadfully wounded
in one of the battles in Holland was
lying on the ground. and an unfor-
tunate soldier who was near him,
and also severely wounded. made a
terrible bowling. when the officer
exclaimed:
Hold yer row. Will we? Do you
think there is nobody killed but
yourself pitt Bits
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
ON THE KLoNDIKE.

There's a lot OF shootin goin on
over there at Alaska Dicks saloon.
Are the boys havin fun with the
tenderfoot that blowed in last
night7''
Fun nuthin' The boys is shoot
in 20 win. They're fightln like hun
cry tigers over a raw onion they
happened 10 see in that tenderfoot's
baggage. Chicago Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
HER SUGGESTION.

''MIss Ethel. now see the oppor-
tunity 1 have long been looking
for"
Then why don't you embrace
it7'-BrookIyn Life.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
THOSE DOCTORS.

THOSE DOCTORS.
Doctor-I treated Robbins for ap-
pendicitis and today he is a well
man.
Hawkins-So I heard. What do
you think was the matter with
him Town Topics.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
A HELPING HAND.

Philanthropy: MY wife is getting
up a subscription for a bicycle for
the pastor. What will you subscribe
toward it2'
Philistine: We'll, you can put me
down for the wind for the tires
New York World.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
A CHANGE.

''She used to be so delicate before
she took to the Wheel
well. she's indicate enough
now.'-Detroit Journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
WHY PAT FLAGGEp THE TRAIN

A Gulf line special. filed with the
'officcrs OF the road on tour OF In
spection. was tagged by some men
working on a section near Colorado
Springs. Shocked by the sudienness
of the stop. all of the officers rushed
to the rear platform, where the men
were congregated. 10 learn the cause
, OF the hold up. each apprehensive
: that a wreck had occurred on the
line In the vicinity. Mr.. Hartwen.
the paymaster. was the first 20 In
Quire OF the man nearest him. a raw
boned recruit from Tipperary who
? had not been in the service OF the
. company more than fortnight
There's been no accident. yer hon
or said the Irishman- Il list
wanted 20 inquire OF yez whin the
pay CARL be along. "-Argonaut-
MEETING THE EMERGENCY.
I They We're sitting In the moonlight
on an old stone wall.
|. And he put his arm around her
That she might not fall.
George" she said 10 him quito
sternly.
You have quite a gall"
MANY times I've had my arm
there
In n large dance hall.
And you never once objected.
Said he. through II all"
But" she answered. that was
different"
well" he said, ''we'll hire a hall"
Facts and Fiction.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15

PRoFITLESS REGULATION.
Downtrod-Great joke on my
wife,
Quizzer-What IL II?
Downtrod - Robbed her own
boomers last night.-New York
journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15

Just wait" said the man in the
barber shop. 'till the brush boy
gets ready for the finishing touch"
You mean that he will complete
your toilet?''
NO. He'll get my last 10 cents.s
Washington Star.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15

LYSYLLABIC.
Pretty Polly" said the lady
Can Polly talk
Polly" replied the Boston parrot,
"can converse. '-Indianapolis Jour
nal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-08-15
THE FINISHING TOUCH

st. Louis Republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
WOULD EMULATE P1NGREE.
Sedgwick County Commissioners
Want Potato Patch Bill.

The chairman of the board of county
commissioners of Sedgwick county has
written a letter to Senator Lewelling in
regard to a measure which is similar
to the Pingree plan. The letter receiV-
ed by the senator reads as follows:
IL. d. Lewelling, Topeka Kan:
Dear SENATOR wish you would in,
troduce a bill and secure its passage
giving the board of county commission
erS control of all lots and lands held by
the county for delinquent taxes and
authorize the board to allow the poor of
the county to use said lots and lands
free of charge, and authorizing the
board to make an appropriation suffi-
cient to furnish seed for them. This
would enable the poor to use the said
lots and lands and assist them to make
their living A good garden and po-
tato patch would be a great help to the
families that the county is compelled to
aid And then it would be better for
them to cultivate the lots and lands
than to allow them to grow up in weeds
and sunf1owers.
GAS the law now is. we have no con-
troll of the said lots and in most cases
they are doing nobody any good. I be-
Iieve that such a law would be a great
blessing to the poor people here, and in
their behalf, as we'll as in the interest
of the taxpayers of the city and county.
I ask you to give this matter your care
full and earnest attention, and, if posi-
BILE secure the enactment OF such
law. Yours very truly,
{" N E. HARMON,
chairman Board of County Commits
SiOnPrS"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
WHO WILL HAVE TO PAYp
Comanche County or the State-old
Bond Deal Comes Up.

In 1873 a company of interruptions
spectators defrauded eastern parties out
of 500 900 through an issue of fraudulent
Comanche county bonds. which the state
in the house by jackson CRep.) of Conan
che county.
The spectators, ten or twelve in num-
Der, went to Comanche county and issued
the usual amount of boom advertising
matter, plated townsites containing hum
dreds of acres; erected brick blocks on
paper; in short filed all the preliminary
requirements for the establishment of
metropolis, the limits of which were
marked only by blue and white lines on
green paper
One member of the company was desig-
mated the census enumerator'' and
the manner in which he padded the re-
turns was marvel to the most success
full ward heller By these returns the
county was unqueStionably populated
by the requisite number of per-
sons for a legal northumberland a bond
issue. The bonds were f1oated and the
SPECTATORS cleared 100000 in cold cash,
then left the country.
The purchasers of the bonds brought
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
oowLEY COUNTY SALARIES
Will be Greatly Reduced if c. T..
Browns Bill Passes.

Representative c. L. Brown of Cowley,
in accordance with the wishes of his
constituents, has introduced a bill making
important changes in the fees and salar-
one of the issues of the campaign in Ar
kansas City and CowIey county and has
been insisted upon for a number of years
by the taxpayers.
Mr. Brown is a free silver Republican
and is one of the leaders on the north
side of RepreSen tative hall which is Oc-
cupled by the members of the allied for
ceS. He is also chairman of the judiciary
local committee. He is one of the hard
est working men on the floor and in the
committee room and receives strong sup
port from members on both sides of the
house because of his liberal views upon
all public questions.
The bill with reference to the salaries
of county officers in Cowley county fixes
their remuneration as follows: County
treasurer, S2,0O0; county clerk, $1,000; coun-
ty attorney, $1,000 and the fees now fixed
by law; probate judge, 81 200: register OF
deeds. 81 900; clerk of the court, 81 60O
county superintendent, $500; sheriff to re-
ceive the same fees as now provided by
law, except that they are cut exactly
one-half
This bill prevents the collection of con-
structive mileage by sheriffS. from which
they now receive, in many cases, exhor-
bitant fees.
The officers receive only the amounts
clerks from the salaries specified. The
bill amounts to a cut of so per cent in all
salaries.
The bill was introduced in the senate at
by Senator L. p. King. Representative
Jaquins and Senator King, conferred
with Mr.. Brown with reference to the bill
and expressed the opinion that it is a
bers will support it. They are confident
that it will became a law.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
KANSAS LEGISLATURE.
A Plan to Build Good Roads
With Convict Labor.
COnYicts to Be Loaned to the
Counties.
Representative Browns Bill Reduces
County Salaries in Cowley County
Legislative Notes.

Representative Henley, (Rep.) Doug
las has bill on second reading provid-
ing for the utilization of convict labor
on public highways, as far as possible
and to prevent the competition of con-
Wet labor with free labor. The bill au-
thorizes county commissioners to en-
pioy convicts upon road improvements
No board shall be permitted to en-
ploy less than IS or more than 40 con-
victs at one time. No person confined
for violation of prison rules or any dan
gerous convicts shall be permitted to
leave the prison. Counties employing
prisoners are held responsible for their
board, transportation and return to the
penitentiary. The term of employment
snail not be less than three or more
than six months and the term shall be-
gin not later than May l,
The state shall receive no compensa-
ton, nor shall the county pay for such
services, more than the expenses of
board and transportation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01

Items Intended for this column should
be left with the Kimbau Printing Co.
835 Kansas avenue, before 10 o'clock in the
morning.
Miss Carrie Fauble spent Sunday in
Kansas City.
Mrs. Clay Bowen is sick at her home on
G: Kaser is quite sick at his home on
Quincy street.
A. g Campbell. the jeweler, has moved
to the South side.
Robert Jenkins of Kansas City is the
guest of Fl. A. MOulton.
The Indian creek Sunday school gave a
poX social saturday night.
Miss Hettie WeIch of Kansas CITY. Is
visiting North side friends.
Miss White of Monroe street fell while
skating recently and broke her left arm.
Mr.. Bailey of Illinois. who has been the
guest of Miss Maud Dodd, left today for
his home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Hoyt Of 1925 Kansas ave-
nue., are moving to their farm near the
Lyman school house.
There will be an abundance of dissfpa-
ton this week in the way of church en-
tertalnlnents, as no less than three are
being planned.
Try George Mayors homemade bread
and bakery goods made out of best ma
terial We challenge any bakery on
price and quality.
The gospel services at the Christian
church will continue this week, preaching
by Rev D. D. Boyle, assisted by the pas
tor, Rev. A. B. Alderman Special music
al all services and everybody welcome.
The funeral of Russell Stafford was held
yesterday morning at the Church of the
Good Shepherd Canon Miner read the
beautiful burial service of the church
me pail bearers were Monte Kistler
Lester Davis, John Semprez and Fred
The fire Saturday night was a one
story frame house on Monroe street near
the Capitol elevator office, and occupied
by a colored man named Small It was
not known how the fire started as the
family was away from home at the time
and had been all day. The kitchen was
destroyed and the furniture in the other
part Of the house badly damaged by wa
ter The alarm was turned in from num-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
AN AMUSING STORY.
How Charley Martin Runs the House
From Behind the Desk.

Charley Martin, not so long ago read
ing clerk of the house of congress, and
during the last administration clerk
in the secretary of states office, has
struck a singular sort of a job at the
Kansas capitol. We do not know what
it could be called unless parliamentary
prompter' would fill the bill. He stands
close behind the speaker in the house
and prompts him as TO the rulings he
shall make. Speaker Street gets along
very well by himself, but Speaker Pro
Tenn Weilep is self-confessedly ignorant
Of parliamentary law and refers almost
everything to his coacher in the rear
The result is some very ludicrous situa-
tons Yesterday, for example. west
ern Kansas member rose with motion
of some sort. when Prompter Martin
whispered rule him out of order
We rule you oudt of order." shouted
Speaker Weilep in the broad Dutch ac-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
SNAP SHOTS AT HOME NEWS

The city council meets tonight.
There is one case of diphtheria in the
city.
The Festival chorus meets tomorrow
evening.
The gas bin at the Pure Food show for
the week was $50.
The Pure Food show exhibits are being
taken away To-Day
Prof. Jackson, of Jackson's band has
organized THE Black HuzzarS.
There are over a hundred applications
for positions the police force.
Doctor Brownfeld is touring Kansas.
He was last heard of in Burlingame.
Lieutenant Governor Harvey is able to
attend to his duties in the senate today
Councilmen Drew and Burgess of the
Fourth ward are planning a trip to Tex
After two months work the arsenal in
the state house grounds is half torn
down.
Passenger Agent w. J. Black of the
Santa Fe has returned from a trip to
Chicago.
The steam escape pipe in the east wing
of the state house makes a noise like a
person in distress.
Punch. Rigby, son of NJ. F. Rigby of
Mo
During the two years of the Republican
police administration nights lodging was
given to 14S2 tramps who applied for shell
ter.
One of the heaviest expenses at the
chestra or band was on duty the entire
time.
W. e. Atchison. who has been appoint
ed police judge. defended David Coulter
who murdered 15-year-old Edward Illston
a year ago.
Secretary Adams of the Pure Food as
ISOLATION viii be at the Commercial club
rooms at G25 Kansas avenue from 1 to 3
p m. to pay bills.
At just about the time that Sergeant
Jennings of the weather bureau said he
saw no hope of the cold wave disappear
ing the weather began to moderate.
Sheriff Kepley has. posted an order at
the county Jail to the effect that here
after but one visiting day will be allowed
at the jail This viii be on Wednesdays.
The exhibitors at the Pure Food show
pad $50 for the service of each young
lady Tor the week, and the money was
aonated by them to the Kindergarten as
Murat Halstead has been sending daily
articles to his paper. the BroolSIyn
Standard Union about his visit to Kansas
ing, not lecturing.
It takes two months to paint a trolley
car in the Topeka railway shops Two
are in process of painting all the time
are put on them.
Tom Wilkerson. the jointist. will plead
guilty to selling liquor and serve out his
rendered TO the county authorities after
having skipped his bond, on which Lew
Blackman had endorsed
Joseph SmaIrs residence on North Mon
roe street was burned to the ground Sat
nrday night It is supposed that it caught
fire from spark of a passing engine. Mr..
Small and family are out of the city al
present, and but little of the contents of
the house were saved.
Geo. II. Hapgood Yesterday caused the
arrest Of ]. II. and W. G. Price, two men
VINO We're hauling away dead animals
without a city license. Mr.. Hapgood is
given the right to attend to this work
ana ms prices are fixed by ordinance.
the work. W AZ
The first quarter telephone subscribers
Ibook OF the Missouri and Kansas Tele-
phone company will be ready for delivery
ger Bayless win furnish subscribers who
call at the exchange for books In This
new book the Harrison exchange LIST is
discontinued, and the old phones in use
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01

cent which marks his attempts at Eng
lish speaking.
Il demand to know why I am out of
order?'' shouted the member in some
what belligerent manner.
wy is he Oudt of order?" inquired
the speaker in a stage whisper to Mr..
Martin.
Don't explain anything" responded
Martin. Just rule him out on general
principles and he will sit down.
We don't explain nothingS!" shouted
the speaker, as he hit the desk a re-
sounding blow with his gavel. I've
youst rule you oudt on sheneral princi-
pies and you will set down. Lebanon
Criterion.
The above is an amusing story but is
unjust to Speaker Pro Tenn Weilep as
he is known to the members of the leg
islature is one of the best posted men
on parliamentary law that there is in
either house. He was chosen by all the
silver caucus to preside.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
TOWNSHIP FIRE GUARD BOARD
Bill to Give Township officers Power
to Protect Property

Representative Fell, CPop) Of Pawnee
has introduced a bill, containing new
provisions pertaining to the mainten-
ance of fire guards in any part of the
state This bill creates a township board
of fire commissioners composed of the
township trustee, clerk and treasurer,
who shall have entire control and gen.
eral supervision of this work The new
commission is authorized to burn fire
guards at any time during the year, the
present law defining the period within
which such work shall be done.
The township board is also author
lied to levy a tax of not more than one
mill to defray the expenses accruing
under this act. The commission is au-
thorized to pay for labor by men s1.25;
man and team 81. so per day. The COM
missioners are to receive $500 per day
for time necessarily employed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
"HITCHING PARITY
Prof Seelye Scandalized at the Antics
of His Girls.

Northampton, Mass, Feb. 1.-The
Smith College girls "hitching party
was a huge success. 'Hitching" means
stealing a ride on the rear end of a
sleigh runner or on the side of a gro
Gerry pung.
The girls appeared on the main street
dressed in short skirts, boomers and
1eggingS, and whenever a sleigh ap-
peared, screaming and laughing, they
caught on OF fell in at the drivers feet.
pelted and tumbled in the drifts, and
had a high old time generally.
The town was not exactly shocked,
but il was amazed. When next the
students were assembled for prayer.
President Seelye expressed his deep
modification at the conduct of the
young women. Their actions, he de-
clared, were shocking. Probably no fur
Their action Will be taken.
Rumors of the -riotOus nerriment
reached the college, and President Sc
I've walked down town TO see if the re-
ports were true.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
PACKING HOUSE LOBBY.
Tries to Grease the Way for Oleomar-
garine.

The lobby from the packing houses is
trying hard among the legislators to
prevent the passage of stringent meas
ures against oleomargarine- But little
has been heard of this bill since it passed
= first reading early in the session but
the general understanding is that it will
pass.
The supporters of the new law insist
that oleomargarine should be stamped or
marked that the purchaser would not
be deceived. The packing houses are
spending time and money to show the ad-
vantages of permitting the packing house
product to go into the market in open
competition with creamery products and
with no mark to distinguish it from gen.
uine butter.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01
Tha Rrooklun is safs-

Philadelphia, Feb 1.-The United States
lighting cruiser Brooklyn. which struck
a rock in the Delaware river Saturday
afternoon, while being lowed from her
dock at League island to place of safe
Y, IS still tied up at the ice breaker near
Marcus Hook. Pa, 20 miles down the
river from Philadelphia. The river is
filed with ice and until this clears away
no attempt will be made to move the
damaged ship. She is perfectly safe now
and in no danger of sustaining further
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-02-01

suit to recover, when upon the legal or
eanization of the county some years later.
the inhabitants repudiated the bonds and
refused payment. The state courts held
that the bonds were in the possession OF
innocent parties who should be remun-
Grated. The case went to the United
States court which sustained the decision
Of the lower court and suggested that il
the county was not able to pay Off the
bonds the state should do so. Upon this
suggestion the bill has been introduced
to iuuidate the Indebtedness. 1t Will
probably produce a fight when called up
for consideration. The original issue OF
bonds and the accumulated interest
amount to about $135 900.