The Norfolk Virginian. [volume] (Norfolk, Va.) 186?-189?, 1897-09-05
MIR. REMsoN HELD THE BABY.


Mi. REMSON HELD THE BABY.
Experiences OF a Connding Brooklyn
Man who Went on an Excursion.
(New York Times.)
One of the most thoroughly unhappy
n uncomfortable men in Brooklyn on
Friday was Isaac S. Remson Of Grand
street, his trouble being. caused by the
fact that he drew Il baby as a prize
package during the free excursion of the
Grand Street Board OF Trade on that
day.
Mr.. Remson's baby was bestowed
upon him by an unknown German yyo-
man with whom he had no previous ac-
q~uaintancc. She walked up to him in
the crowd on the excursion boat and
asked him TO hold the infant "a min
ute" Az she did not offer it az collat-
cral for anything, Mr.. Remson did not
a; the time see how he could be loser
on the transaction. He ascer. aimed that
later. He accepted the loan and is now
SATISFIED that the act was the mistake
, Of his lie.
The woman did not return. The baby
Is about a month old, and It cried. Mr..
Itemson Is 4 married man, hut had no
babies OF his own, and he did not know
what to do or what the extent of the
trouble WAS. His Ideas on the subject
were vague, although they are more
clearly defined now, but he had a gener-
al notion that when a baby cries 1t needs
jumping. Therefore he jumped his ac-
QUESTION with both perpendicular and
lateral motions until he had nearly
Jumped its head off, but he stopped
abruptly when q strange woman came
by, called him names, intimated that he
had been drinking, and added that n
man who could not treat a baby better
than that did not deserve to have one.
In this opinion Mr.. Renson coincided.
The baby continued to do curious
things. 1t doubled up and slaughtered
out. stiff, tied its face into knots and
yelled to beat all the bands In Brooklyn.
III desperation Mr.. Remson halted an
other strange woman and asked il She
hought the thing was having fits.
The woman ooked tendeviy at the baby
and supcrciliously at Mr.. Remson, and
advised the later to carry the latter
home to .ts mother. The Indebtedness
OF the situation was aggravated by the
fact that the baby was obviously the OBJ
jec: Of general sympathy, while Its in
voluntary ros:casor was regarded with
suspicion and dislike. Mr.. Remson
thought 1t was unjust. and after leav-
ing the boat piodded home miserably.
Boys began to follow him. "IIey,
Ch.mmie," yelled one of them shrilly to
a friend across the way. run and see
the gent what's DinchcI somebody's
kid"
AS the procession heightened Mr..
P2nlSon grew corscicuS OF the fac. that
the rumo:s in circulation behind him
and concerning him were becoming
darker and more numerous and that he
was in some general way being con-
nccted in the public mind with the AL
hany kidnapping ey!idicate and Charlie
Ross. He almost wished somebody
would lynch him.
He reflected bitterly on his impending
arrival al home with Il strange, unin-
Identified, and anonymous infant with
on a mother, and followed by n train Of
the eXuberant youth of Brooklyn and on
the probable observations and i~nterro-
gator.es OF the neighborhood. He wish
ed he had never been born, and yet
mora fervently that She infant he was
wrestling with catch-as-catch-can,
sometimes right side and sometimes
wrong side up. had been born in some
Other part of the world or he had not
been born a: all or had sworn off from
excursions at its birth.
Yet It all ended happily. Mrs. Rem
son welcomed the baby almost as cor
daily as she would hav done If Mr..
FemSon had been n stork or an angel.
She discovered that 1t was a pretty
baby. Mr.. Remson remarked GloomilJe
that he had observed no such thing,
and she probably would not have MOTTO
ed It herself II she had brought i; from
the pier, as he had. Between a rough
and tumble fight with a strong man
and his experience with his charge he
said he would take the fight for choice.
lie had never been so exhausted In his
life.
The stranger was made comfortable.
When IL suddenly spread It's mou:h ana
displayed a cavernous show Of gums,
Mr.. Remson jumped as IL he was about
ID have a Mt on his own account, but
Mrs. Remson said that was the angels
whispering to the little one. Mr.. Rem
son rubbed his own head and observed
tia the angels must hav been telling
some very unpleaaant facts 10 produce
a spasm like thai. Yesterday. however.
he had become more rcconciled. and was
disposed to adopt his acquisition and
join he endless procession Of Brooklyn
mon who have been v.ctims - the per-
amublator habit.
The "Bicyclist's Best Friend Is n |
familiar name for DcWitt's Witch Hazel
Salve. always ready Tor emergencies. |
While a specific tor piles. 1t also In
stantly relieves and cures cuts, bruises.
salt rheum, eczema n all affections of |