The Irish standard., 1897-11-27

rold on the street, and Immediately but
ton-holed him, beginning, "Well, Jer-
rold, my good fellow. what is going ON
today?" Il am" said Jerrold, and OF
he shot.
Have you heard of poor R--?" says
a friend of Jerrold one day, "his BUSH
ness has all gone to the devil" ''Thats
all right, them" says Jerrold, "for he
will be sure to get it back again"
An improvident fellow had the ha,
sent around among his friends too fire.
quently to be comfortable On being
asked to contribute, Jerrold inquired:
land what does C. require this
time?" The reply was: "a three and
two noughts will just be about sufficient
to put him on his legs again" "All
right" says Jerrold, "put me down for
one of the noughts."
A fellow at the club, one night hav-
ing gorged himself with sleeps head,
threw down his knife and fork and
cried out, Sleeps head forever" says
l." to which Jerrold exclaimed, THAT'S
egotism"
During the Crimean war much gush
and nonsense were talked in this coun-
try about the friendly relations that ex-
listed between France and England.
Tut" says Jerrold, "the best thing be-
tween France and England is the sea-"
Fifty years ago l was standing with
the squire looking at a full ripe field Of
wheat. The squire stood IT. 31a in. A
remarkably small Irishman, with sickle
sheathed in straw, came up, touched his
hat, and asked, "Will cut that fine crop
for your honor?" The squire, looking
down, replied, What! a man of your
size?" 'Och then" replied the man,
do they cut the wheat on the top in
this part of the country?" "You'll do,
Paddy" said the squire, and the ready
witted Irishman got the job.
Your mention Of Erskine recalls a
sharp retort of his to a murderer whom
he had unsuccessfully defended. The
| man, after sentence had been prcnounc-
| ed, angrily said that he had not had
JusIlCe uOle W It'll. 1ulS Will d StlN-
age glance at his counsel. NO" said
Erskine, "but you will have it next Mon
| day fortnight"
| For good humor I think the Irish
beggars reply to Sir Walter Scott can
hardly be surpassed. Sir Walter, having
vainly searched his pockets for a six
pence, gave the beggar a shilling, with
the remark, you owe me Cd, Pat"
| you!" was the grateful and w...y ans
| wer.
You will not, 1 believe, find the fol-
| lowing in any ancient classic--Scene:
| The close of an excited Catholic Emall-
| cipation meeting in Leeds, the crowd
| passing out of the building Two gen.
| tlemen, one DR.. Winter Hamilton, an
| Independent minister of great note, and
| the other supporter of Roman Catholic
| disabilities, who was smarting under the
| decision of the meeting having gone
| against his side, met in the passage. AS
| they had a speaking acquaintance, Dr.
| Winter Hamilton courteously saluted
| his opponent, who fiercely replied, II
| don't know you, SIR Hamilton retort-
| cd, Il am not surprised; you seem to
| have forgotten yourself
| Sheridan upon one time met the prince
| of Wales, who was accompanied by the
duke Of York. Sherry" said the
| prince my brother and I have been
| talking about you, and we really don't
know whether you are fool or knave."
| Stepping between the two royal princes,
! and taking an arm Of each, the great
! Irishmen replied, May it please your
royal highness I am between both"