Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

Sport Have Failed to Recognize.
Teaches Young Collegians How
Bsst and Most Effsctually to Grip
pie Their Observation-Disclosures
tile Value Of Various Parts of the
Human Body - Why a Broken
Leg Counts More Than Four
Broken Noses.
Judge Herbert J. Davis, whose
knowledge of the law keeps the West
ern Union out of whole lot of
trouble, says the Chicago Record, is
one nan who has given some thought
to Aid. Plotke's crusade against foot
ball. The judge confesses that he
never played the game and appends
to his statement the assurance that
he never will, but he asserts that ho
established as an autumnal religion,
and he gives his reasons.
when | was boy" he says, %
used to regret that the unstudied
chance Of birth had not brought me
into being in the days when Camelot
was a thriving metropolis and new
hul6uC CdIlS DdLICIlA5 POuiIulhS
his shield almost daily, craving an
opportunity to go charging with spear
and sword at Launcelot du Lac. 1
used to read of those grand old occa-
sions when true and valiant knights
went out and hewed humanity and
dealt the so-called kidney blow
wherever it would do the most good
Now 1 am glad my entry into the
world was delayed a matter of dozen
centuries, for Tristan and Gawain and
the rest of them were insipid, tame
and colorless compared with the foot
ball players of these times.
ct went with some misgivings to the
tourney ground last Saturday. 1t did
not seem to me that the mere fact OF
getting ball of wind from the middle
of tract of land to thing made of
three scantlings at one end could af-
ford any thrilling interest, but l was
mistaken. 1t was great. ] stood in
sticky mud and froze my feet and chill
led my being and howled in rapture,
and it was good to have practiced lungs
and sturdy voice. l enjoyed every
moment of the play. | had considered
that the game must be confined to
measurements of distance. Area, / had
somehow gathered, had a great deal to
do with it, as also had linear measure.
I was utterly wrong. The whole game
was an exploitation of science. There
was nothing simple about it. A man
had to have full knowledge of the 20S
bones in the human body as a premise
on which to base the slightest notion
of the game. He had to know how
much more important is a right femur
than the third rib of the left side. And
he had to know it quickly, too. There
was no going home to look it up in
books. If he wanted to enjoy the game
he had to be ready with the spot-cash
knowledge. In a foot ball game there
is no time for player to debate with
himself as to the relative profits rising
from breaking runners collar bone
or dislocating his shin. He has to act
at once.
There are, of course, certain ele-
mentary principles which any one can
readily learn. Thus, in ten minutes |
discovered that when the man who has
The ball receives a fracture of the left
elbow accompanied by grapevine
twist of the spine that means that his
tide is entitled to three W ira trumps
md big casino. And when the opposi-
hon captain caves in under five crushed
ribs and has his left knee poked per-
manently into his right ear that indi-
Gates that the other side has made
seven points and is out of the hole.
There are some other fundamental
ideas, knowledge of which is easily at
tanned.
THE game started bravely. A man
of about the size of Norman draft
horse-one of that kind that wears
full beard over each ankle-gave the
ball toss backward, and tall disrep-
utable-looking fellow grabbed it and
turned to east-northeast-b y-three-uuar-
ters-north and kicked the nearest man
In the stomach For this he was enti-
tied to five yards of territory and had
he promptly raised his hand and yelled
Judgment at the referee he would
have been allowed that advantage; but
while he was getting ready to file his
claim two men from the opposition team
rushed up and threw him into the air
so that he came down on his neck in
lump. They then leaped upon him
and tried to stamp him to death with
tIOl iCCC. Hty Only ouCCttuSQ III rGu-
dering him unconscious, which gave
them three points
IF you kick a man into insensiblity
that gives you three points. If you
kill him it counts touchdown and
double six. Remember this 1t is
valuable point to know in case you
ever play the game Excepting the
trumping of a partners ace in whist,
nothing is so reprehensibe as to beat
a man unconscious in football game
when you have abundant opportunity
to kill him.
after these men had claimed their
due for properly manning the other,
and after the surgeons had hurried
out and reviewed the case and had
decided that it was really one of dis
ability deserving of three marks in
the record, the whole company gath
cred in the center of the field and
bent over, each man with a shoulder
to his opponent on the other side.
This was for the purpose of getting
freeway for the collision of collar
bones. If you break another mans
collar bone it counts twelve for game,
and game is two points. The prepara-
ton for collision is therefore carefully
made. At signal from a big man
with hams like the piers of huge
bridge a concerted dash was made
a. L