New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-06-21
THE TALK or THE DAY.

The Editor Of "The ST. Louis Star" SAYS: 1--WE
welcome the sweet girl graduate with open arms"
whereupon the Editor of THE Philadelphia IN
quirer" remarks: I'VE should do the same thing
if we thought our wives would not find it out"
As the villagers were reported to have reIapsed
into sin. the clergyman determined to give them a
good shaking up and enlarged eloquently on the
horrible torments awaiting the wicked Wishing 10
toothless old gossip. Now. my good woman
said he. Il hope my sermon has borne good fruit in
your mind. You heard what | said about hell fire
ing of teeth" We'll" said the hardened Old dame
IF as anything to say II be this Let them gnash
EN- as as 'em."-(Spare Moments
Now, Your Honor said a lawyer to Judge
Brown. in Santa Rosa, Cal. the other day, Il
rlove dismissal OF this the ground that the
CORPUS decti has not been established"
Judge Brown rubbed his chin in a perplexed way
fixed his gaze the ceiling for a moment. and
then, clearing his throat said: "Of course, II is an
old principle OF law that the probator must corre-
spond with the alligator and in this / am of
the belief that the corpus is ali right but don't
know about the deficit"
Your Honor ! want that to go into the record"
demanded opposing counsel Il want the record to
show that Your Honor said the corpus is all right
but you do not know about tho delcti.'
Judge Brown realized that he had bundered. and
sat staring at the attorney for moment. Then
pulling himself together. he said: "All right let
that go into the record, but you fellows knew
DANCED well I was only Joking when | said IT, and
that will go into the record. too
Too Good.-"John" said the father who had lust
listened TO MS sons commencement Grafton II
hope the man that you are going to take "A place
with didn't hear you read that piece"
1T was fine. I'm afraid that if he finds out how
much more you know that he does he'll get Jealous
and won't want you in the same business with
him.'-tWashingtoL Star
ID
OF an electric railway company complained to his
superintendent, Hibernian named Finnegin that
his daily reports of trouble on the line were too
long-too wordy cut 'em short" said tho busy
president. The superintendent next report of a
car Off the track satisfied al hands. 1t was:
"Onagin.
"Onagin.
"Awayagin.
"FINNEGIN"
Il thought that Miss Homew GODS essay was
much the best of all those read at tho commence
ment." That's odd. never knew that she had
much literary ability What the subject of her
essay" " How to Make Cherry Pe.'"-Phila-
dephia Chronicle
Canadian thistles have become such pest in
Milwaukee that the Mayor has appointed three
thistle inspectors, whose duty it shall be eradi
cate them.
on Hot sunday.-"My dear. are you not going
to church,"
oh dear no: It's too far"
The wife, very sarcastcally-Any further than
last Sunday?
The man of applied scicnce-Certainly dear
Everybody knows that heat expands.-(Church
Economist.
The controversy that has arisen between Hart
ford and NewHaven over the question which city
Bshop-elect Brewster EpscopaD shall honor by
making II his residence is an interesting illustra-
ton OF the change OF sentiment toward Episcopacv
in the State Of Connecticut. In the good old DAVIS
a quaint chronicer remarked. in describing a GER
tain town in Connecticut that some OF the Chris
tians OF the town, instead OF going to a Christian
place OF worship. sneaked into the Episcopal
Church. to the great scandal OF true religion and
the delight OF the devil.
A contemporary describes the children at n gar
den party riding little donkeys across the lawn
for a small considera ton" This was no SURPRISE
consideration. though they intelligent little
beasts with brains as big their ears II not so
conspicuous-(Bcston Transcript
First Clergyman-As good Americans. | don't
think We ought to pray for the Queen to-day
Second Clergyman-As good Americans | think
that's just what we ought to do. for we ought TO
believe that she needs praying for,
School-chdren make many queer remarks which
they adapt from things they oVerhear at home.
One little fellow In Bangor last week paid his
teacher what he supposed was a very graceful COM
pmcnt, and which apparently afforded him no
end OF satisfaction. In n burst OF good nature he
said, Miss Brown, you are the only turtle In the
tsnk"-(Bangor Commercial