davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Grocers and women are very unfortunate
people-they are compelled to please
through the stomach. The eye is pleased
dozen times where the stomach Is pleased
once-Atchison Globe.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Statistics show that in Antwerp alone
nearly 1000 horses were slaughtered
last year for human consumption. and
IN, number Of shops dealing exclusively
in horsehesh in the Belgian ports ex-
,,ceds 3O.-N. Y. Sun.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
He Didp,t Take"

81 went in for amateur photography
during nv vacation" said the sum
iner man. There was no end of girls for
subjects.
but how did you make out among the
girls"
'Oh. | got lot OF negatives. '-Philadel-
phia North American.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
GARDEN WHEEIBARROW.
How to Make a wheel That Bears Its

How to Make "A Wheel That Bears Its
share of Burden.
In market gardening, there is much
work that can be done with a wheelbar
Tow. While resting my aching arms
one day, l concluded that the wheel
of the ordinary barrow was not bear
ing its share of the burden, so made
one in which the axle was placed up
nearer the body of the barrow. the
wheel extending inside. A cap was
fitted over this, inside the body, and
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Il have the most implicit confidence
in my husband" said Mrs. Henry Peck.
HE wouldn't dare go anywhere with.
out taking me along. "-Philadelphis
North American.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
MercifuI Tommy.

Tommy" said the little fellows
mother. reprovingly, you should not
hit Freddy when he hits you You
should heap Goals of fire on his head, as
the Bible tells you to-"
Not in this hot weather" replied
Tommy. who is of merciful DISPOSE
tion.-Judge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
Acting InOn IL.

Miss Elder-I have decided to buy hus-
band
Miss Tommey-What on earth do you
mean
'That seems to be my only way to get
one, and / have always heard that every
mar has his price judge
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Snlith-'Did many Of The passengers go
to hear Dr. Fourthly pre-, h in the main
cabin this morning. Brownies, but
most of them left when he announced his
text" Smith-"What was it, Brown
Cast thy bread upon the waters. Life.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
A Matter Of Fashion.

Doctor-Madam, your husband has paraly-
sis
Wife - Oh. doctor. I'm delighted |
thought II was nervous prOstTation. and
that's so common, you know Boston Trav-
eler
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
AN OPEN LETTER
From Miss Sachner, of Columbus,
O., to Ailing Women.

To all women who are ill:-It at
fords me great pleasure to tell you of
the benefit have derived from tax
ing Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. can hardly find words to
express my gratitude for the boon
given 20 suffering women in that ex-
cellent remedy. Before taking the
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
Not Surprising.

Forrester-How time does fly
Lancaster don't blame Il. Think how
many people there are trying to kill it.
Harlem ifa
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

A woman should never accept a lover
without the consent Of her heart, nor hus-
band without the consent of her judgment.
-Ninon de rEnclos
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
A EriendIr Tin

Hewitt wear out a good many hats
in the course of a year.
.Iewett-Stop talking through them.
Town TopioA
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

The consumption Of Star plug tobacco is
the largest in the world No other tobacco
is so good as Star plug in all respects.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

The Important Point.-Doctor-'I II
be on your feet in a week or so" Patient
"On my feet2 But how soon will / be on
my wheel Puck.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Barber-You say YOU have shavei here
befOrey | don't remember your face.
Customer-Probably not. 1t mas healed
up since.-N. y. World
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

The Missionary - Here, Here I'm
shocked What are YOU two fighting about
The Combatants-Ionah an de VIII. -
Drrclr
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21
SER Evident.

Mss Courtright-What do you think Of a
man who will marry a woman for money!
Mr.. Spooner-All can say is that such a
fellow must be hard up.--Clevelsnd Leader
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

When money talks we never pause to eriti-
else its grammar.-Chicago News.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Fits stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits after first days use of DIR. klInes
Great Nerve RestOrer. Free 81 trial bottle &
treatise DIR. Kline. 933 Arch St. Phila., Pa.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

How accommodating some men are to
their wives when asked to do something
they are dying to do anyway.-Washington
Tlaunnrraf
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

sicians and gradually grew worse.
About year ago I was advised by a
friend 10 try Mrs. PiRlham's Sanative
Wash and Vegetable Compound, which
l did. After using three bottles of
the Vegetable Compound and one pack
age OF Sanative Wash, am now enjoy
ing better health than ! ever did, and
attribute the same 10 your wonderful
remedies l cannot find words TO ex-
press what a Godsend they have been
10 me.
Whenever l begin to feelnervousand
i'll. / know have a never-failing ply
stefan at hand. Ii would afford me
pleasure to know that my words had
directed some suffering sister to health
and strength through those most ex-
cellent remedies. Miss MAY SACBSER,
s4s1s Z. Rich St, Columbus, o.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Fortify Feeble Lungs Against Winter
with Hale Honey of lore hound ard Tar.
Pixies Toothache Drops Cure IN one minute
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

What nice companion fiy makes after
you have had an ezperi' nee with a mosquito,
-AtchisOn Globe
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

No odds how little a man does he likes
to tell how he used to wOrk.-Washingto
nnr.r.nrat
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Sudden cold-soreness, stiffness. Promptly
Use st. Jacobs Oil. Sudden cure. Sure.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

No man is too shiftless to feel a little bit
romantic about his marriage ashington
IlnrlDnrnt
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Cholly-Why do you wear bloomers?
Carryc-Well, 4 have perfect right
'How's your lefC:"-N. Y. Journal.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Dissatisfied people are, as a rule, loaiers.-
Atchison Globe.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Vexed? Yes. the nerves. bv Neuralgia
st. Jacobs oil soothes. cures il.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Piso's Cure is the medicine to breal, up
Children's Coughs and Colds Mrs. NJ c.
Blunt, Sprague, Wash. March s. "a
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Some things are easily Cure1-the
Worst pains 10y St Jacobs Oil
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Sore all over and stiff Cured all
Over by St Jacobs Oil, and supple.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

gil! wear - an organic dress thinks
Size looks god enough TO eat-N asiington
Demo rlt
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Certainly it does. Truly. surely. St Jacobs
Oil cures rLeu .natism. Thousands know it..
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

Take Laxative Brono Quinine Tablets. All
drugg SITS refund money If it fails 10 cure. 25c.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1897-10-21

What is it, Lame hack Use St Jacobs Oil.
What is it ow? Cured Right.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
THE PIE RECORD.
No Performer Has Determined How
Much One Man Can Eat.

No Performer Has Determined How
Much One Man Can Eat.
The capacity of the human stomach
has never been accurately determined.
Public interest is occasionally aroused
in eating contests, but these are con-
fined chiefly to specialists who are seek
ing to establish records as consumers of
pie, cakes, watermelons, etc. What we
lack is an all-round performer.
Acomparison of the averages of many
noted professional and amateur eaters
reveals that none has reached that of
Oakley Stanton, of Derbyshire, Eng,
who lived in the last century. Mr.. Stan
ton on a certain occasion, in one hour,
ate a single meal of four dishes, COM
posed as follows:
The first dish was an aunalgam of two
quarts of milk, 80 eggs, half pound Of
butter, half a pound of sugar, three
penny loaves, quantity of ginger and
nutmeg and an ounce of mustard, all
boiled together.
Theseconddishwas a pound of cheese
and pound Loaf of bread; the third,
half a pound of bacon, a penny loaf of
bread, a quart Of ale, three halfpennies'
worth of gingerbread and a pint of ale;
the fourth, a custard of two pounds, an
ounce of mustard, some black pepper,
pint of milk and three pints of ale.
AS a proof that Mr.. Stanton suffered
no inconvenience from this repast, it is
stated that he passed the balance of
the evening drinking copiously of ale
and liquor.
This feat was for some time consid-,
cred unapproachable, until n porter Of
Truro, on bet of five shillings, ate
two pairs of worsted stockings fried in
train oil and half pound of yellow
soap.
Success inspired this man to another
effort. The wager ON this occasion was
that he could not eat as much tripe as
would make him a jacket with sleeves.
He took the bet and was regularly
measured by tailor, who cut the tripe
into the exact size and shape of the
garment. The porter ate it all in 20
minutes.
AS a pie specialist the record of a
Scotchm0n of Dundee is not without
distinction. He consumed nine large
two-penny pies in 1411A minutes.
This feat aroused much enthusiasm,
and induced betting men to lay odds
against him that he could not devour
- pies of the same dimensions in 25
minutes. The Scotchman won, with
eight minutes to spare. He offered to
occupy the remaining margin of time
by eating halfa dozen more.
It is alleged that this establishes the
record on pies; but it is safe to say that
it has been surpassed by some profes-
sional of the east side.-N. Y. Sun.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
SCHOOL AND cHuRch.


The city of Philadelphia has 3,S4s
teachers employed in its public schools,
and their salary list for the next year
aggregates $2,439, 400.
1t is calculated that if the children
under the care of the London school
board were to join hands they would
reach from London to Carlisle, dis
tance of 300 miles.
st. James churchyard, Penton-
vile, in which were buried Joe Grim
aldi, the clown, and Tom Dibdin, the
nautical song writer, has been turned
into public playground.
About sixweeks ago Rev. L. C.. Han
ma. of Plantsville, Conn.,, fell on his
head while getting out of his carriage.
The shock caused an entire loss of mem
Ory; he could not recognize his rela-
tives or anyone who knew him. His
relatives are endeavoring to teach him
to read and write.
Queen Adelaide, widow of Dom
Miguel, king of Portugal, has taken the
vows at the convent of the Benedictines,
at Schemes, France, after having passed
CA1OuSH d Ho'II1dCO VI OhO } 0dI Jul d
ton. Queen Adelaide was born in
Francony on the Sd of April, 1891, and
was married in 1851 to King Miguel
She is the mother of seven children.
Florence Nightingale. has just en-
tered her seventy-eighth year. She
has never recovered from the ha<dships
she endured in the Crimean war. Since
1855 she has rarely been totally free
from pain. She received her Christian
name from the town in which she was
born-Florence, Italy. Her family
name is not Nightingale, but Shore, her
father being a Nottingham banker,
who inherited the estates of Peter
Nightingale on condition that he as
sumo the name.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Uses of Ramb0O.

The attention of builders is being
drawn to the valne of bamboo as a build
ing material. The great strength Of
bamboo poles is not at all understood
by the majority of persons. 1t is stated
on excellent authority that two bam-
boo poles, each of them 7-1O inches in
diameter, when placed side by side, will
support grand piano slung between
them by ropes, and that they will
neither sag nor break under the burden.
Bamboo will form poles 65 to 20 feet
long and from TO 10 inches in diane
ter. A derrick 26 feet high, made OF
four-inch bamboo poles, raised twoiron
girders weighing together 424 pounds.
The wonderful lightness of this materi-
al in proportion to its strength has ex-
cited comment Cf late, and new uses
are constantly being made of it. Scat
foldings of bamboo have the advantage
of lightness and strength. It is predict
ed that this material will come in gen.
eral use for such purposes. An addi-
tional advantage is that bamboo resists
decay in water as we'll as in earth, that
the older and drier it gets, the mora
solid it becomes, and that it can be
grown for an incredibly small sum-
n. Y. Ledger
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
THE BOURBON NEWS. TUESDAY AUGUST "a. 1897

the exact sum, Master Thorn
DYKE" was Duncan's parting injunc-
ton. "Feefty thousand dollars is i
fearful deal O. money to ding cot at ane
clatter."
"I've been thinking that over since
we spoke of it," rejoined Philip, "and
I've changed my mind. They'll pay a
hundred thousand, or go to jail"
Protheroe laughed heartily at Dun
cans dumb show OF amazement whe-
they were out of hearing. ,''I hope
you'll win," he said. ''Do you want me
to go with you?"
''No; fancy can manage them bet
ter alone; but I'm much obliged. I'd
be glad to have you with me afterward,
though. L imagine Sharpless will be in
an assassinating mood if do win"
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
THE LITTLE ARMCHAIR.
,body sits in the little armchair:

Nobody sits in the little armchair:
1t stands in a corner dim;
But white-haired mother. gazing there,
And yearningly thinking of him,
Sees through the dust of long ago
The bloom of the boys sweet face,
As he rocks so merrily to and fro,
With a laugh that cheers the place.
Sometimes he holds book in his hand,
Sometimes a. pencil and slate;
And the lesson is hard to understand,
The figures to calculate;
But she sees the nod of the fathers head,
So proud of his little son,
And she hears the words so often said:
mo fear for our little one"
They were wonderful days, the dear sweet
days,
When a child with sunny hair
Was here to scold, to kiss, and to praise,
At her knee in the little chair
She lost him back in her busy years,
When the great world caught the
man,
And he strobe away past hopes and fears
To his place in the battles van.
But now and then in a wistful dream,
Like picture out of date,
She sees head with a golden gleam
Bent over a pencil and slate;
And she lives again the happy day,
The day of her young life's spring,
When the small armchair stood Just in the
way,
The center of everything.
N. Y. Times.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
An Unkind Retort.

Mr.. and Mrs. Yerger had an unusually
lively matrimonial row the other night.
As Mrs. Yerger was getting the worst
of the argument, she burst into tears
and exclaimed: "Oh, how wish 1 had
never met you!" "You do, p" he re-
piled, sarcastically. eyes, now that it's
too late, you begin to sympathize with
me. Why didn't you think of that be-
fore / married you?"-N. Y. World.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
He COuIdn,f Eurnish Ii

YES" he said, with some show of
temper, you're just the kind of a
woman to spend $4,000 year on dress
alone"
"Oh, no, I'm not" she replied, sweet
ly. IF were would have married
a different kind of man."
And the more he thought of it the
more satisfied he became that 1t was
hot one.-Chicago Post.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
A Harmless Habit.

A gentleman living in the neighbor-
hood of Addington tells how he found
that his stablemen were not in the habit
of attending church, and spoke to the
coachman about it.
"They ought to CO." he said.
That's just what 1 say myself" was
the rejoinder. II says to them: Look
at me; go, and what harm does it do
me" ""-Tit-Bits.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
The Reason.

Lawyer Hooks Tin the bosom of his
family)-Well, my dear, have given
up the Bagrox case, after having been
engaged in it so long.
Mrs. Hooks-Then you have exhaust
ed every legal expedient?
Lawyer Hooks-No, but 1 have ex-
hausted Bagrox' money.-N. Y. Jour-
nal
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
just the Opposite.

Kilduff-I hear that Tenspot is cul-
tivating his garden religiously this year.
Mullins-The report is wrong. L
heard him swear while wedding the
other day.-N. Y. World.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Agreed.

''He takes a fence very easily" said
Miss Gilfoyle to Miss Tenspot, after the
hunt was over, and speaking of Mr..
Fosdick
He does," replied Miss Tenspot. 81
don't know of man more ready to take
offense. Courier-Journal.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
FOrtifyinG Himself.

Mr.. ojack-Tomdik, old boy, do you
know that you have taken four cups Of
coffee already.
Mr.. Tomdik-Well, I'm going to call
on Miss Chin, and [ want to be able to
keep awake.-Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Knew All About Them.
Up-to-Date.

She had been to the seashore and
was deeply interested in all that per-
tanned to it.
"Did you ever see a shark?" she
asked.
swell, should say So" he answered.
81 bought house and lot of one once
on the installment plan" - Chicago
Post.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
So Persevering.

Mrs. Gummey-Miss Broadway is to
come out this season.
Mrs. Glanders-What a persevering
little thing she is.
What do you mean?"
"She has come out regularly for the
past six or seven seasons. ."-LouisvilIe
CouHer-Journal.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Good State for That.

Galligaskins-The state geologist of
Kentucky says there is no gold in that
commonwealth.
Skimgullet-But I should think it
would be a fine place for bichloride of
gold.-N. Y. Journal.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
stood by Him.

perhaps he isn't all he might be,
but he stood by me in my hour of trial,
and"
What WAS he, an officer of the
court Chicago Journal.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Hurt HIS Pride.

Mrs. Smidelle-Georgy, come right
into the house this minute, and don't
let me catch you out again this evening.
Georgy-You hadn't oughter boss
me around before folks in that way,
ma; folhs'H think I'm your husband.
Boston Transcript.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Much In n Name.

"Is your new pony fast?''
eyes; so fast that I've named him
What Ma Says"
That's a queer name"
Eyes; but what ma says goes. ."-Bos-
ton Traveller
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
A situation at Sight.

Miss Craik-Er-really, Mr.. Pruyn, 1
must refer you to papa.
Pruyn-Why, bless me! my dearest
girl, anyone with face like yours needs
no erences!-Brooklyn Life.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Fatal Curiosity.

Visitor Ito attendant friar at the re-
fectory of a convent)-Are we allowed
to smoke here?
Friar-No, sir.
Visitor-Then where do all these
stumps of cigars come from that 1 see
lying about?
Friar-From those gentlemen who
didn't ask.-Od6s and Ends.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
LOVR'S Power.

Willy-Say, auntie, what did Uncle
Bob marry you for?
Aunt-Why, for love, of course!
Willy (meditatively)-H'm! Love
will make a man do almost anything
won't it, auntie?-Puck.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Where the Rub Comes.

There are flying machines and flying ma
chimes,
And aerial boats by the score;
But the sorest part for the air marines
Is that each one refused to soar.
N, Y. World.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
A scheme of Reform.

II for one day I were let loose
To boss things on this mundane shore,
Watermelons would have less juice
And bananas would have more.
Chicago Record
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
A Lovers Bon Mot.

He was a witty lover-he
Who made this turn so fine;
He called his best girl Postscript. for
Her name was Adeline!
-Up-tO-Date.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Only q Blossom

Twas but a little faded flower,
But fraught with tears and woe;
He would not tell where he got it
And she was bound to know
Chicago News.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
Alloy.

Now that you and your husband have
kissed and made up, suppose you are
happy"
Except when l think of some mean
thing ight have said."-Detroit Jour-
nal.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
The Right Sort.

Briggs-Do you know, L never
thought much of Baker until yester-
day.
Griggs changed your mind?
81 learned that his wheel is the same
make as mine."-Detroit Free Press.
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
A Resemblance,

death and the people of Germany
are alike in one respect"
"Name it,
"The people of Germany like to use
money direct from the mint"
$50 on"
Death loves a shining mark, too"
Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph
The Bourbon news., 1897-08-24
He's Sorry.

"When 1 married my wife l loved her
so much that l could have devoured
her"
"And now?"
"And now I'm sorry didn't do it,
.L'Illustre de Poche.
The silver lance., 1897-10-08
The Toledo Weekly Blade.

Every intelligent family needs in-addi-
ton to their local paper, good national
weekly The greatest and most widely
known general family newspaper is the
Toledo Weekly Blade. For thirty years
it has been a regular visitor in every part
Of the Union and is well known in almost
every one of the 10000 postoffices in the
country. 1t is edited with refereneeto a
national circulation. 1t is Republican
paper, but men of all politics take it, be-
cause Of its honesty and fairness in the
discussion Of all public questions. 1t is
the favoritc family paper, with some
thing for every member Of the household
Serial stories, poetry, wit and humor;
the household department (best in the
world). Young Folks, Sunday School
Lessons, Talmage's Sermons the Farm
stead, the Question Bureau, (which an
swers questions for subscribers) the
News of the week in complete form and
other special features. Specimen copies
gladly sent on application, and II you
will send us list of addresses, we will
mail copy to each. Only 81 year. II
you wish to raise club, write for terms
Address THE BLADE.
Toledo Ohio