Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1897-09-30
CAUGHT THE EDUCATED CRAB.

CAUGHT THE EDUCATED CRAB.
II Had spoiled Cap.n Epn's Fishing,
bur Was Landed by Medford Rum.
The Educated Crab came 70 grief the
other day and Cap'n Eph Browles Wis
tied the village to celebrate the event
When last seen, bound over the hills OF
Hardscrabble, he was close hauled and
laying a course as tortuous as the wake
OF a mackerel smack beating to wind
ward against tide and sim moth
easter.
Capn Eph had been fishing for the
Educated Crab ever since he was SO
afflicted with rheumatism that lie had
70 knock off cruising between Bishop
and Clerks lighthouse and the Hand
kerchief ledge, and do all his fishing in
the bay or of the breakwater. lie had
always maintained that the Educated
Crab was raised in Buzzard's bay and
that it had legs around New Bedford
1t showed a vicious knowledge, accord
ing to Cap'n Eph, only to have been
gained by long experience among
whalemen.
I s'pose that air crab hez been afoul
my line at least leven hundred times, -
remarked Cap'n Eph when he stood in
front of the post office and displayed the
cadaver of the crab, which he had
brought from the beach carefully
wrapped in a paper.
How do l know it's the same crab =?
Don't yer s'pose l kin tell his figger-
head from yourn? Undressing the
neighbor on his left and pointing to the
one on his right.) Crabs hev phizes jest
ez much ez pussons- Sides. there never
wus crab afore that wuz sheathed all
along its keel and deck with barnacles.
I've hearn tell thet yer could tell tn age
NV Iattlesnake by tn rattles he steered
by. IF tibet holds good in tn case NV
crabs this'n' must be nigh a thousand
years old.
1T I'D steal bait EASTERN a. hull school
Nv fryers Thet's where his eddication
cum in. I've leaned over the gunwale
when l wuz fishing in clear water an
watched him skirmish round morn so
times. He'd go skuttlin' round my hook
four or five times, jes' ter get tn bear
ings NV tn bait, but he wouldn't make
no effort ter tech tn bait until he'd gone
up ag'in tn tide for two or three faith
oms. Then he'd come sailin' back with
the tide on his beam an heaye 10 about
three inches from my line.
Every other crab would hev jes'
grabbed fur tn bait an made sail. That
wuzn't tn style of tn dedicated Crab.
howsomever he'd les port bis helm am
swing athwart tn tide till he'd got his
starboard claw fore an aft with my line,
an then he'd grab tn hook by tn eve
an pint its biziness end a3sdy from his
belly while he picked the bait off with
his port claw. It didn't matter how fast
l hauled IN TIL line, he'd hey tn hook
bare bv ID time l rized him to the edge
Nv tn water.
"He spilled my fishin' fur three sum
mers, but I l<otched him al last How
it cum about shows that tn smartest
crab ain't no way superior 10 man ef it
NEEDLES with rum. Night afore las 1
opened half bucket ur CLAIMS an set
the bait down by the table right under
where I'd sot a nigh about full bottle NV
Medford rum; what I used to rub my
leg fur rheumatic I'd aforementioned
all about that bottle when l cum hum
long about nine o'clock o night an
tried to light tn glim. Whilst / wuz
foolin round fur match knocked tn
bottle over an most all the likker
swashed down on them air CLAIMS. l
cussed myself fur d lubber all night
fur ! had pains in my leg an stumach
mighty bad. But / amt sorry thet ]
spilled tn likler nov, seein' that |
kotched tn dedicated crab.
Il thot ez the likker would be likely
TO Spite tn bait. an sure enough l didn't
git bite till tn tide wuz about ebb an
tn ole crab hove in sight. He took to
the rum soaked bait jest ez kindly ez a
prohibitionist away from hum. He
cleaned my hook an made sail fur his
port, but bimeby ne cum back under
full Roadway an seemed dreadful eager
fur mother bite. He got it. but acted
so wobbly that it sot me ter thinkin'
Says l ter myself, you hey sartainiy got
brains enough to git tangled up in
your latitude ef yon hist in much more
nv that cargo So l iist Jambed tn
hook full nv rum-soaked clans an let
Cap'n Crab navigate all over the bottom
with it. Bimeby | seed thet he was too
wobbly ter steer within three pints Nv
his course. lie he'd 10 tack halt dozer
times afore he could lay himself along
side the hook when ! baited up agin
and then he jest grabbed al tn bait,
hook and all, regardless o. conse.
Fecenccs. / let him GIT 4 good hold
afore vanked an when did give pull
ana ria lire df,74xz tb' hook Mob hal