The Roanoke times. (Roanoke, Va.) 1897-1977, 1897-05-22
CARL DUNDER'S DODO
IT is THE STAR FREAK OF HIS NEW
MUSEUM.

He Also Has Lulu and n Hodas and
Beer to Entertain His Visitors, but the
Becr and the Freaks Do Not Necessarily
Go Together.
If you don't read mo sometimes in
der papers, dot vhas all right, for may
pc you can't read. vhas Carl Dunder
who don't find nottings two times alike
i'll America. One day man Gums in
my place und drinks my beer and reads
my gas meter, und dat fat police SER
geant says vhas swindled und should
look oudt Next day another man Gums
und acts shust the same, und gif him
der boot und vhas fined twenty-five tollar
md some cost. One time an cypress
man Gums NIT q package und collects
fife tollar, und when open him he vhas
n big stone. Dot fat police sergeant says
I vhas grcenhorns, und don't know
somebody. Next day dot cypress man
Gums NIT a package md fight nit him
und hat to pay feefty tollar. One day
der man who makes der taxes Gums in
my place und drinks four beers und says
he makes my taxes lower. l go by der
police sergeant, ind he laughs at me
und says | better go back to Shermany.
Next day another man comes to drink
my beer und SEQ about taxes und run
him out und vhas i'll troubles. If some
body vhas nobody, how you going to tell
about it?
By und by I vhas tired und start n
comic almanac. She vhas Carl Dunder's
Sherman almanac. She vhas pictures.
She vhas funny. Sho vhas SO funny dot
L laugh all night und can't sleep und
my ole womans laugh und fall down
stairs und break a leg My son Shake,
no laugh. too, und haf some fits und
cost mo $40, und so gif oop der biz
ness / shango dot almanac over und
make him serious und pathetic, und dot
vhas bad for nue.. weep all day long.
und my oldt womans vhas like me- und
my son Shake, he cries till we hat to
call der doctor. 1t vhas sooch sadness
dot der butcher on der corner can't at
ind to peesness more, und der shoemak-
er Ill dor middle of der block feels SO
badt dot he hangs himself Dot makes
me go oudt of dot almanac peesness und
try something else.
Ladies and Shentlemens-I like to in
| l.
hat opened some saloons for beer. but
she vhas divided off in two pieces One
vhas for beer und der onder one for n
museum. 1t vhas no sharge to go in or
como oudt und stay ash long as you
like You can stay in or stay oudt-she
vhas der same to me. Dot beer vhas for
sale at der usual price, und she vhas ten
KS, but if you don't vhant some You
go by der museum ind she vhas shust
der same. She vhas innocent for wom-
Ell und children, und no one vhas made
better for seeing my place My son
Shake, he got der idea of der museum,
und der oldt womans, she haf an idea
OF working der two i'll harmony. Shake
vhas going to sell der beer, While shall
keep dot museum running all K. O.
like to call your attention to nv
lulu. I don't know he vhas lulu till
der man who sells him to mo gifts me
dot pointer. l belief all der time he
vhas stuffed cat nit glass eyes und
bob tail Dot lulu vhas from Africa,
una ho vhas so fierce dot efen der ele-
phants run AWAY from him. If a man
should meet u lulu in an African forest
at midnight, Gcd help dot man. He
would shust hear one awful scream, und
den he would be in kindling wood, und
dot lulu would drink his blood md
scream. Ha, ha, hal Nopody shall be
afraid of my lulu because he vhas deadt
und can't fight und because l vhas at
handt to protect der wimins und shil-
drens. 1 like to say in conclusion dot
nopody shall poke him NIT Il stick und
dot he vhas der only specimen etfcr
| brought to America. Sometime dot no
lice sergeant says 1 vhas lulu myself,
but he don't hat time to point himself.
In dot next cage you find der hodag
don't know some hodags until / buy
him for feeften tollar l belief he yhas
Il stuffed fox, und shmilc at him. but
der mans he brings me proofs dat he
vhas right. Dot hodag vhas from Aus
tralia. where he goes roaming aroundt
to eat eaferypody oop. While he vhas
shmall animal he has big appetite
und If he don't eat one man day he
vhas hungry. Ho don't fear nopody. If
you meet him when you vhas walking
out, you vhas gone oop der spout. He
shumps OH your back und filings you
down, and for ten minutes he toys nit
You ind makes You belief he vhas all in
fun. You pet him ind call him fond
names und belief you Will go home,
but he shumps at you und you vhas in
heaven i'll two minutes. NOBODY else
has museum nit hodag in il He
vhas not to be had. Dis one vhas found
deadt, und he vhas valued at ten tou-
sand tollar. He don't hurt ANYBODY mn
less you poke him III der eve nit an