Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-09-04
THE WID0WEEs AND THE FAT
WIDOW.
The Latter Feb Into the Formers Lake
: and Woe Followed

Here is one little story which / am
going to tell only because one of the
principals to it is away On his vacation.
He is well-known, gallant bachelor.
and | wouldn OF care to get into a con-
troyersy with him about it; but as he
has told il himself, he must expect TO
have it repeated. The story is on the
bachelors friend, a certain prominent,
handsome widower of about a years
standing. One Of his acquaintance,
is a widow, fine looking and exceed
ingly agreeable. Now, there is no harm
in widows seeking alliances with wild
overs, and the widow in question
thought quite favorably of the widow
er of this story. She met him on the
street one day last spring ana went
into ecstasies over his beautiful coun-
try home, Of which she had heard many
praises.
4 would like to see it, my good
friend" quoth she.
you SHALL" said he. Bring the
girls and spend the day. Most likely
| will be at home myself. for | DO net
come to town every day
The widow set the day The wild
over thought no more of it, putting
the matter aside as a "fait accomph. .
a sort of exchange of polite sayings
that mean nothing.
Not SO the widow. She was 8 wo-
man of her word. On the appointed
day she arrived at the house in the
country. She found the master gone.
part Of the servants away on a holiday,
and only the young folks at home.
They made the best of the situation
and entertained their guests But this
osrt of entertainment was far from the
widows liking. She had come to see
the master of the house furtherance
Of her matrimonial plans. Soon after
her disappointing visit she wendell her
way one day into the widower's Office
and gently but emphatically chided
MN for his neglect to stay at home on
the day she paid her call. The wild
over IS a perfect gentleman, and he
felt smitten in his heart for his lack
of courtesy.
suppose you set the day this time"
said the widow, pinning him down
to q close margin.
The widower, in extenuation of his
former neglect, appointed day and
promised to make good all his former
shortcomings Now, here is where NV
bachelor friend comes in. Tn e widow
er went over to see him and begged
him to be one Of the party on the dav
on which the widow and her daughters
had promised to come. My bachelor
friend was on hand. SO was the
widow with the young girls. All went
well, for til ebachelor is 0 royal good
fellow, who cameto the rescue of his
host right valiantly In the after
noon row on the lake was proposed.
The bachelor got in one of the boats
with the young ladies, the wdw and
widower occupying the other. Per
haps the game of hearts seemed slow
in its progress to the ardent widow,
and what does she do but lean over
too far and fall intot the lake? The
widOwer jumped after her and pulled
her back into the boat. This was quite
a task, not because the lake was dam
gerously deep. but because the widow
is voluptuously buxom. She was con-
Quoted to the house for dry clothes.
But there was nothing that fitted her
ample proportions, so she had to rele-
gate herself to night gown that had
TO be ripped up the back to go around
her. and stay in her bedroom the rest
Of the day The widower was not
quite so unlucky. He could get into
a pair Of bicycle breaches belonging
to one Of his sons. The denouementt
Well, it wasn't a ahappy one, for
widow and widower see each other
only occasionally on the street now
st. Louis Republic.