The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-10-20
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

There may be lots of nice men in the
world, but the bill collectors don't meet
them. .-Atchison Globe.
''Did Mrs. Jinks' travelling gown fit
well?" eyes, but it cost so much she
had to give up her trip and stay at
home. philadelphia Press.
Mrs. Files-"Did you take your pet
dog to the country with you?" Mrs.
\ (Styles--"M Mercy, mol The table was
miserable er'-Yonkers Statesman.
"tYou know what hatred Brown
has for crowd?" eyes, indeed;
what Of >it?" "His wife presented HIM
with tripfets yesterday, "-Indianapo-
lis JournNl.\
Mrs. Brown-J Jones-'J married my
husband for protection. " Jones' Brown
Did you get \it?" Mrs. Brown
Jones-"No; didn't even get recipro-
city. Truth.
"Our typewriter girl Is awfully
clever; she can sharpen lead pencils" "
'Poohl Ours can beat that.\ She has
five clerks in the office dying 20 (7harpen
them for her. Detroit Free Rress.
Silas Oatcake (who has just paitSthe
bill-'You York people know athinG
or two. Ireckon you hev this windmill '
here to keep people from gittin' hot
when they pay your confounded high
chargesl Puck.
Solicitor-"Yes, madam, we will
have to put down your correct age in
the deed" Client-"Put forty-five,
then, if you must have it, but for
goodness sake write it as illegibly as
possible. Tit bits.
Weary Watkins-"A man that will
torture IA pore dumb beast orto be took
and boiled in OIL" Hungry Higgins
-''Boilin' in oils too good for i'm.
He'd orto to be boiled in soapsuds. -
indianapolis journal.
Saddler-"Thatw was awonderful per-
formance of Star Pointers, wasn't it?
| tell you, mile in less than two min
utes is going pretty fast" Wheeler
-''You bet it is What gear did he
have, wonder?"-Cleveland Leader
Disappointed Suitor (savagely)-
"What's that, you little imp? You
say you just overheard your sister tell
me she would be n sister to me, and
that you are glad of it2" Small
Brother (meekly)-"Yeth thir-mith-
cry loves company, thir, Judge.
"Dear," said Mrs. Crouch as she
showed her lord and master a picture
of hat with u pretty woman's face
under it, 81 wish you would get me
hat like that. 'Ill be glad to,
grunted old Crouch, "if you will only
get a face like that Cincinnati En-.
quirer.
'Whut do it mean, said Miss Miami
Jones, "when dey talk in dis here
novel book bout er young man payin'
his addresses to young lady?"
Doesn't you know?" exclaimed Erastus
Pinkley "I sho'ly doesn'." at
means dat he done put de postage
stamp on de love letter. Washington
Star.
"Oh, not at all," protested the
Turk. "Ask any question You like.
Yes. My trousers? Oh, they are
rather large, to be sure, but you
should see the harem that goes through
them every night after I'm asleep"
As for the travellers, they were much
bewildered by the strange things they
were encountering. Detroit journal.
Tompion-"Was Locke much of
fighter when he was in the army?"
Hammer-''No, hardly that. In fact,
he managed to keep out of battle alto.
gether. But then, you know, he was
full of fight before he got 20 the front,
and he has been full of it ever since
the war was over. In the nature of
things, a fellow must have a rest some
time or other. boston Transcript.