The Saint Paul globe. (St. Paul, Minn.) 1896-1905, 1897-04-25

were not likely to be more successful. There
fore, having taken the additional precaution
to change the initials of the Names which he
HHed in according to his fancy they oc-
CURED in the MS, he has thought it no harm
10 offer these memoirs to the public
CHAPTER 1.
Today Lisa was married. A simple
sentence that, and how easily written!
My pen slipped as smoothly over the
paper as If I were writing "How do
you do? It is a pleasant day" My
God! my God! How have I been cru
Gifted this day! How great agony can
q womans heart endure and not
break
Yet I bore 1t well, even kissing my
girls husband and bidding him love
and cherish her Ah my training stood
me in good stead. I smiled, I chartered.
/ played my part-how, did they say?
Like a gracious sovereign bestowirg
the hand Of g. princess royal upon a
noble sutton" Play-actress! cheat!
imposter Was it so-was it so l felt?
No, no-like q woman rather, a mis-
cradle, hapless, helpless woman, who
has has no choice left her but to rend
her soul with her own fingers; to tear
with deliberate. determined hands her
heart from her breast and ruthlessly,
in the very face and eyes of the public,
trample it beneath her own feet; to
ache, and suffer, and sob internally,
while she smiles at the crowd and
dances merrily to the music of the
pipes.
Oh, the comfort Of my own presence
and none other! My whole being is en-
deshabille; l can loosen all the bonds
that have constrained me throughout
the long day, and let my face assume
what look it will. If I might but talk
to some one-give vent to all this ago
ny that consumes me! I want to throw
myself and all my troubles upon some
eympathising breast and make moan,
SO relieving my heart and securing
that pity which no one ever dreams
Of bestowing upon a woman of my pro-
fession.
Why should I not, for want of a bet
ter, make blank paper my conf1dante?
] have always kept a brief record Of
events; this which today for the first
time has assumed the character Of
transcript Of emotions. What if 1 Gre
ate fresh interest for myself by writ
ing out the story of my life? And
when I shall have brought it up to this
day will place it in the hands Of a
stern reviewer-my own conscience
and let 1t pronounce a critical estimate
upon the ethical value of the work
What has made such utter shipwreck
of my life2 No woman has ever had
greater success in the special career
she has chosen than I. No woman
in my position has ever received more
respect and appreciation than has fall
en- to me. have never been assailed
by that temptation to sin which, it is
said, so generally destroys the morality
of women Of the stage. 1t Is no credit
to me that my reputation is without
stain or blemish. 1t would simply be
impossible for me, constituted as I am,
to have permitted immortality to faint
me. 1 cannot imagine q woman allow
ing her conduct to fall below the stand
ard Of her own self-respect.
1 am rich; I am virtuous, talented,
beautiful-there is no vanity in the re-
mark My beauty has long been a
matter Of public comment; besides
which, exquisitely lovely as my Lisa
was today in her wedding robes, it
was I, her mother, that provoked the
admiration of the crowd. She, my
blessed little altar Of sacrifice chided
me laughingly for outshining the bride,
and even the proud and radiant hus-
band scolded me roundly for eclipsing
his little wife upon her marriage day.
What is this?-a tear, right in the
middle Of the Sheet Do not let me
come to tears, o Heaven, beseech
theel have a pretty hatred Of damp
women. Besides, what cause for tears
has a woman endowed with all the
advantages enumerated above7 That
is my secret. Later, If do not aban-
don my present purpose, I will pour
It into one faithful breast, which, If
I am then so minded, 1 can forthwith
do to death without fear Of criminal
proceedings.
think it was that one unlicensed