The evening tribune. (Pawtucket, R.I.) 189?-190?, 1897-04-07
BINNERS vs.. hURER.
AN OLD FASHIONED EJEcTMeNT CASE
IN THE BACkWOODS.
ssPri,ny rishy" Evidence That the Coon
Was stoien-A Court That wouldn't
Stand Dictation From Lawyers-Season-
xkte Reasons For Adjournment.


Was stoien--A Court That Wouldn't
Stand Diotaiion From Lawyers-season-
ssie Reasons For Adjournment.
There was great stir at Rouzer's Run
in tho Pennsylvania backwoods. The case
of Dinners versus Rorer was To come up
bGSore Squire Sniffe;s. job Dinners somo
time before had charged Sam Rorer with
stealing cocn from him, and, getting no
satisfaction, had called on Reuben Ray,
who "done hoss doctorin an lawin, - for
advice. Reuben had advised "takin tho
law ON Sam, and job had told him 10 go
ahead and make. sam sweat. Reuben ap-
piled 20 Squire Sniflets for the necessary
papers To proceed in the case.
esquire" said ho, "wcvo got "a case
ag'in sam Rorer for 'properatin coon.
The heft o. evidence is that he has eat the
coon, all 'ceptin the skin. What we want
To git is a writ a. habus corpus on him to
pcrjuce that skin afore you, SOS we kin
take pcrccedin's reg lar"
my opinion is, Reub, " said the squire
after due delibcraton, that you hadn't
hester do il. When you wunst git To habus
crpusin there ain't no tollin where you re
goin to end up. Fust thing you know
you're liable 10 run slam ag in the consti'
tuition, an then where be ye? Don't 90 an
babus corpus. k-e-jectment That's what
you want E-c-Jectment, or trespassin on
the case Is your evidence primy fishys"
'primest kind, your honor" replied
Reuben. ~ other fellcrs is flshy."
What you want, then" urged the
squire, lis reg Jar ole fashioned e-e-ject.
ment"
.'But you see. SQUIRE" persisted Reuben,
"a habus corpus will fetch"-
"'Twon't no setch thing!" interrupted
the squire, who Was getting testy. Not
in this court il won't, cause i won't issue
none
''Then can't we sort o. capias Sam an
put the screws right 10 him" suggested
Reuben, not willing 70 abandon his mode
of procedure entirely.
.'The-e you go ag'in" exclaimed the
sqllirc. :" Yes. you kin capias him. Course
you kin! Butcan't two play at that games
You capias Sam an then sam II turn round
an, ,eapias you, al then as like as not some
durn fool'll capias me, an the fust thing
we know wen all be capiased 20 the
spreme court an even il we keep outen
pail tho bar huntin'll be all over fore
we're through, an none on us won't git a
smell on IL! There won't be no capiasin
business goin on in this court, not this
time o. year. DO you want me to issue
the summonses ter your e-c-jcctment or
don't your"
So IL was settled i'm that way, and Reub
brought "a real ole fashioned e-e- jectment"
against Sam Rorer on behalf of his client,
Jeb Dinners. The day had como for the
trial before Squire Sniffets, and Rouzers
Ran was all there to hear il. Pete Wis
a.
titioncr in the squire's "court," and had
charge of Sam Rorcrs interests. Squire
SDifset~ was busy mcndng pair of boots
when the hour arrived for the trial, but he
put the work aside. and keeping his leath.
er apron on and his seat on his bench. said
ne was ready. The squire detestcd coon-
and coon hunters. and this case was none ot
his liking. He rapicd ON hi- lapstone with
his shoe hammer for order in court.
AS preliminary TO hc made afcre this
here case percceds. " said bc. Il want to
state that the cour, has made all its ar
rausements for goin bar hnntn. an there
Won't bc 10 delay in the pcrcecdins rs the
cpurt has thunh the casc all up, an KIM
hand down an opinion on The double quick.
Where's the culprit>"
Reub Ray jumped up aud said
There a:n'i no cnlprit il yonr h9no-
please. This il an c-c.jcct =.
''Shet up' exclaimed the squire ~
guess the court knows - culprit when II
sccs one. Stan up Dinners"
.iob stood up. ustoDishcd AMI scared
$50 you've been u coon huptip have
yea" sand thc squire, looking up oycr HI
RlasSes at job.
well, yes your honor, " job stammered
:" was out n hale spell. bother cNcnin
bg. only Ei,lCd one, an ihat'n Sam Rorer
siGled an cat IL
This here court holds that n man
t6atn 90 out with mallish aforcthought
AL hunt coobs T. y dangerous citizen 10 bc
rurriE loose SAID the squire Job Bin.
hers, the sentence o THIS court is thai YOU
pay the costs a. tins here suit an a Gnc -
shill:E stan up, sam Rorcrl''
sam get up, scared ia hls'turD.
You're ,Atc gCd with bcin rxccss'ry
arter the .aCt - ,a;ln that coon, Said The
squire. Guilty 81 not guilty.
Not guilty ypur aonor answered
cam, fumbliLe ailh L.s bat and gazing
Nacant.y aroIrd. I'LL led it 10 ny
hog, your honor"
- b'liovG you're lyip. sam, but ]
hA!p Q got 40 proof On II said the squire.
Job Biancrs las 'cu,el you - ,atu
coon, an this court decides tia. rs 70 lean
case o. slandcr:r you. Fos TIA, give yor
Judgment Ter sa.ll:n a. ~ ,lc1 anyhow "
This y you: ole fashioned c.c.ject.
ments Is II. shUti,ed Rc,:t RAY shak!ns
his FIST at the cOsrt.
"An rigk Good reason WHY yon
wouldn't giya me ha5as corpus to fetch
In thnt sk.n BIT I'll pcai TIN, ,a.c tili
your wish ynG'l never ben born
Peal az. - GGrncd replied the
squire, r.s.ng aAc taking ogr h. apron
Tbs court adjourned 20 ~ AZ ngnt.
in."-Ncw York "oc:aa
His Bill
Al amrs.rg document. carefully pre.
served tv !. N...,., t,.h.. ....,.,. -.