Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1897-01-31

obtained my ease from her and expressed
my everlasting gratitude. the spinster on
the left TANKS me with her precious
volume. and this, in sheer desperation,
take. | wouldn't dare 10 sing-to even
attempt II, for the sarcastic smile on
my wlfe's face freezes my blood, but
hold the book lovingly before my eyes,
and try to look as If / were enraptured
by internal psalms. Why everybody
can understand. II seems TO me my
other sweet traits OF character ought to
suffice, and they do, too, with those
who have heard me try TO sing.
Nature whitewashed this grand but
effete old world with a gorgeous coating
of the fieecy substance Wednesday, ana
on the day following things were so
comfortable at home that / decided IMAM
like) TO stick by my freside. and absorb
the heat thereof from the other members
Of my household. My wife always mas
more or less misgivings about our DO
nestle happiness when | stay at home,
and after borrowing the limited residue
of my last months salary. she discreetly
withdrew. and went into the city, os-
tensibly to purchase the marketing, but
really TO see a new bonnet friend mad,
and above all, to get rid of me. Left
alone with my Pilgrims Progress ana
my pipe, settled myself for cosey
day of it. but ere long the door-bell rung,
and a citizen asked If | wanted the snow
cleaned off. Bereft Of funds. l answered
in the negative. and settled myself down
again. only to be interrupted by another
man with the same object in view. And
then they came singly and I'm pairs-one
a minute-throughout the day TO render
their services in the direction named.
The whole populace seemed TO nave
abandoned all other occupations, ana 10
have subOrdinated all other ambitions 70
that of removing my snow. There were
white men and colored men, small
bows and large boys-in fact, every
possible form of male being
that could handle shovel. l
wouldn't have been surprised to have
seen Grover Cleveland or Mckinley In the
gang. for almost every other walk OF
life was represented. There was absolute
ly no protection against the horde, ana
one only retired TO make way for another
I would have paid any price 70 nave
gotten rid of that snow. But silver aho
gold had 1 none, and my wife was no'
there to protect me. In sheer desperation
I at last decided 10 attack the sidewalk
myself. and knowing that our soup ladle
was the only available instrument,
sought that. At this juncture the sweet
woman. who had been out visiting the
bonnet. arrived and cheeriy she eXclalm-
ed: "Why, dear, L see you've had the
snow cleaned off" Chewing the rag OF
marital Indignation, 1 sprung up to re-
buke this supposed sarcasm, when, TO my
surprise. / noticed that the hated element
I'm front of our lands, tenements, and
hereditaments had actually disappeared
Yes. the shovel fiends, in their myriad
visitations, had actually carried it away
on their feet Their army must have beer
about the size of Napoleon's when III
made his Russian campaign. And so, In
spite OF myself and much against my will
| had been economical. But it was dearly
bought economy, for had 1 gone dowr
town / could have made twice the price
of a snow-clean-off with my law practice
I'm the Police Court Up. O."