New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-05-26

me. And supposing had possessed aDiiity' ""'e
doubt. that is for the practical side may nave
had some power as a student or theoretical lawyer
But never had money to take an once, anu nura
clients .,,,u
1 am now unemployed when I should be- .masy busy
1 do not know should like to die and take my
dear boy with IN,
GIere follows line In pencill Mine !: the n,d cnii'
mind. have been mere gudgeon in the world
(He begins again in ink.) Always beginning and
never accomplishing anything Inis mas oeeR ans a,1
Of concentration and earnestness, a lack Of pluck
and sef-reliance great dehc-ency Oh 'hoe-
pendence.
TOO LATE TO CORRECT MISTAKES.
cannot go back now and correct the mistakes
OF forty years / must suffer to the end. and that
end Is very near for both my dear boy ana myself
There is use In trying any new things.
Sin, weakness and credulity have done their
work; let me go now; am tired
My tender innocent boyhood was under the di-
rection Of stupid and tyrannical brute. who
looked only for the immediate dollar and never never
took that ] really learned trade that wOu'a
have supported ME. Hence my life has been "a
business and no prospect Of ANVIL, any; trusted too
much to and was acoy TO- enter the
legal profession had no proper eSuca9n e aH Of '0a
sort have rsapsa Se
WRETCHEDNESS AND DESPAIR
have done nothing whatever. At ffty-four l
am an idle dreamer Of no use to my dear boy or
myself-most unhappy. most wretched without
hope. without the means OF enjoying myself anu
without the Of supporting myself or the dear
lad left me. / must end this misery for both or
u.s. cannot possibly live In this way: my heart
The c. Scientists do not know the reason why
they do, after my death, they Will see less cause
it is that am unable to earn living as law
yer; see that 1t would have been Impossible 10 re-
my my despair air '' II should die and leave my dear
boy he would soon learn that his father had peen ee
It would add greatly to his sorrow and be an ad-
dltiona burden his little life ,.
earning a cent and have this one little chick to
support
God have mercy on me and forgive me. cannot mo
ever, '
IDLENEss THE CAUSE.
This horrible ideness is the cause. This hopeless
longing-this shamming employment, this unholy
waste Of time, this humiliating lack OF money.
when l ought to be earning abundance! 1t
seems to be merely a question Of one or two
thngs-either death or absolute aimless. hopeless
idleness. With my limited means and without hope
of employment, prefer death. ~
I cannot meet the responsibilities of life. I was
raj, for es duties ave1 3a aKsn Gan y
place in the great army Of bread-winners. have
never been useful man.
On scrap OF paper was scrawled in pencil:
What does he know of trouble. an idle, little
lad and below In ink, II sometimes doubt
whether I am quite sane. for I feel all astray
and like one in dream, and could do no good"
One Of two letters addressed to his brother
John, scene painter. who lives at No 363A
Hancock ST. told Of money and securities on de-
posit. The following facts about Hillyard were
gathered from his brother. sister-in-law and
neighhors. He was born in Caral-st. this city
Noyember o. 1913. He came from family of
actors, his granduncle being Charles Kemble
and Anna Kemte, Mrs. Scott Sddons and Alger-
non Sartors, who married Nellie Grant. being
distant cousins. --~+F ---.,
| Hlyard went on the stage and found the life
| distastefu. He played eccentric parts at wal
lacks and appeared with Fechter in "Ruy Bias.
| Leaving the stage he went through Columbia
Law School. About twenty years ago he married
Miss Anna Maria Men, daughter of a furniture
manufacturer whose home the scene Of the
recent tragedy. Hillyard and his rd-headed
father-in-law did not get along we'll together.
Mein ~ould not sympathlze with a man who
did push his way, and while he was willing
to feeu him would not eat at the same table
with him. Hillyards sensitive nature was har-
rowed by MEMS criticism, but he never sue
ceeded in earning more than enough to clothe
himself.
When Mein died six years ago, he left about
S75 900 to his children. Robert. son. in Iowa
Mrs Hillyard and Catharine. Catharine's share
was given to Mrs. Hillyard on condition that she
take care Of her sister. When Mrs. Hillyard
died several months ago she left everything to heT
husband. except that their son, William kemble
Hflyard was to receive 81 900 on coming Of age
Hyard belonged to the Church OF the
Incarnation, the Rev. J. G. Bacchus rector sew
eral years ago. and then joined the Christian
Scientist Society. He left request that his
connection with this society be kept from the
press for fear it might work to the injury of the
society in which he expresses much faith
The inquest will be held to-day by Coroner
COOmbS.