The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-05-02
STORIES OF MR.. HOLMAN
THEY ALL RELATE TO HIS PECULI-
ARITIES As AN ECoNOMIZER.
How He Got the Best of Mr.. HOrr-His
His Methods as "A Campaigner.

The House contains new few members
whose official memory" goes back to the
earlier and more picturesque stages of the
career of the late Judge Holman, but these
few have been entertaining the cloakroom
gatherings with "reminiscences during the
last few days.
1t was almost impossible to catch the
Great Director mapping, said one of his
old associates. A Michigan MEMBER
think it was Horr-tried for a long time to
get a public building appropriation for his
district increased, but every time he found
his way blocked by Holman's economical
ideas. AT last he saw an opening. If he
could get unanimous consent to call up and
pass a certain bill of insignificant appear
ance, but which carried the appropriation
as a rider. he would be all right; but how
could he prevent Holman from spelling the
unanimity? He sought the House barber
who was accustomed to shave Holman. If
you can keep the judge in your chair to-
morrow morning an hour longer than
usual he said, 1T means a dollar in your
pocket" The barber worked hard to earn
his money. He shaved his customer at
funeral pace; his razors had never needed
so much stropping, his lather never taken
so long to foam. When the shave was over
he suggested that the judges hair needed
trimming, and without needing his protests,
shipped eff a large lock, so that the rest
must necessarily be cut. Then he swashed
something out of a bottle upon the judges
pate. Whats that?" cried Holman. "A
shampoo answered the barber. Il didn't
order a shampoo" protested the judge. The
barber apologized, but it was too late-the
old gentleman's hair was already white
with foam, and he was in for it. Thus, by
QUO Jo,;oo and oOothor hraa.C,tarta aF
an hour was consumed.
Meanwhile Horn had been rushing his
work through to the critical point. Al
though nobody had raised a direct objec-
ton to the immediate consideration of his
bill, many members had piled him with
questions, and these and the answers to-
gether consumed a good deal of time, Horr
watched the clock anxiously, stealing
chances between whiles at the door opening
from the barber shop. At last the requests
for explanations tagged, and a late conner
arose and inquired what was the business
before the House. The speaker answered.:
THE gentleman from Michigan asks unani-
nous consent for the immediate considera-
ton of House bill No. 9347. Is there OBJ
j~ection?' He was just about to add, The
chair hears none" and clinch the business,
when Holman appeared at the door of the
barber shop. His toilet was complete, but
his muslin bib was still at his neck, for
he had caught the word objection and
had sprung from the chair. 81 object!" he
saueSsed forth. Horn sank back in the
seat in a state OF semi-collapse. The work
for which he had plotted and toiled had
been all undone by that rascally BARRIERS
carelessness in leaving the door open, and
not holding the judge down by main force.
Horr and Holman had several tits. Horr
was witty, and usually foundsfIorian littfe-
better than a plaything when it came TO a
passage at words, but he was yanquished
once. He had tried to get a Michigan Of
flee holders salary raised, in an appropria-
ton bill, from $1,000 a year to $1,000, but
Holman's objection stood in the way. The
gentleman's objection to such a trihe as
that said Horn YEARLY, reminds me of
the saying of a certain eminent Democrat
of Indiana, when informed that the Repub-
lica. haG swept the country in a general
election: Why, I'd have given 20 cents
rather than have that happen! -
AS this was an allusion to one OF the Sto-
ries afioat about Holman's own penurious-
ness, the Republicans roared, but the Dem
ocrats had their turn when Holman suaVely
replied:
but the Indiana Democrat would have
paid his debt out of his own pocket, and not,
like my more liberal friend from Michigan,
cache into the treasury of the United
States for the money
Holman was known as a foe OF sinecures
in the public service, and rooted out a good
many. 1t once happened that he was walk
ing about the basement of'the Capitol, and
en 1aTdSS ID ! TO ongse 81 thfpu Veteran : doorway
Cant go through there" said the guard
ian of the portal.
II am a member or Congress, said Mr..
Holman quietly.
Il don't know as that makes any differ
ence," said the doorkeeper, unless you
6nNon from q district where the npnDlR QHn
walk through wood. II door is screwed
up:n $50 80, -
Il am here for 1920 a day. There Is a
fellow from the Sixth Pennsylvania Cav
airy watching the other side of 1t, and
mebbe he can tell you more than l can"
By a circuitous route through a commit
tee room Mr.. Holman reached the other
side of the door, and there sat another
doorkeeper, reading 81 newspaper, who ac-
knowledged with equal %frankness that the
door had been screwed fast. These two
men were shortly looking after a chance
to earn 1920 a day somewhere else.
HIS OWN PATRONAGE.
1t must not be thought that Holman was
himself free from the patronage peccadfl-
loes which brought these sinecures into
being. When he put u new and perhaps
unnecessary name upon a government pay
roll, however, he usually contrived to have
the favor credited to him by the bens-
fciaries, but charged against somebody
else's account as a draft upon the public
purse. One favorite resort was to offer a
resolution of inquiry as 10 the propriety OF
doing ~thus-and-so, and the committee
which approved his plan would get the
blame for whatever expense attended it.
he was checkfnated once, however. when
his enemies were in power. He wanted to
get employment for a young protege of his,
and offered a resolution like this:
Resolved, That the committee on &C.
counts be directed to inquire into the pro-
as a page or folder under the doorkeeper
during the residue of the present session of
Congress, and to report by resolution or
otherwise"
The committees report, when it, came in,
turned the tables pretty cleVerly upon the
thrifty Indianian. It's chief passage read:
The committee have not been able 10
discover the improperly OF Willie S.
Howard being employed, etc, but they
doubt the propriety of further Investigation
usual way has been introduced and re-
ferred to them
Nothing remained thereafter but for Mr..
Holman to make a direct appeal for the
boys employment and accept responsibility
for ii.
Holman was a great campaigner. He
never allowed an incident 10 go unused If
a political turn could be given to its con-
clusion. on one occasion he was driving
to a schoolhouse to speak. when he saw
by the roadside a poor farmer doCtOring a
sick cow. The judge alighted and offered
his assistance. Between her two amateur
physicians the COW died. But this did not
discourage Holman. At his meeting he
made d pathetic story out of the sorrow Of
the poor farmer for the loss of his one cow,
started a subscription with s., and soon
had $50 more i'm his hat, and, as a matter
or course, carried that township at the