Hot Springs weekly star. (Hot Springs, S.D.) 1892-1917, 1897-08-13
[|||||I |i|||Il |||I[|l {

ASslacS-' lIf-VOn week VIII 10. Judge.
Husband-"Do you need anything for
the hOuse!" Wife-"lhe cook says
there is not enough china to last the
week out."-Life.
Literal: The Rescuer-"How did you
come to fall in:" The Rescued-"E
didn't come to fall in; l came to fish,
Harper's Weekly.
He-"Would you scream if should
kiss you?" She-"And If I were to
allow you to, would you squeal?'-In-
dianapolis Journal.
Bertha-"What is the height of your
ambition, dear:" Marie (blushing)-
''Oh. something between five and IL half
and six feet."-Fun.
Mrs. Church-"Did you ever catch
your husband tlrting?" Mrs. Gotham
-'rllat's the way l did catch him.
Yonkcrs Statesman.
MIR. Crimsonbeall-'W type of girl
would YOU call that one with bloOn-
crs:' Mrs. Crimsonbcak-".A bold face
| type. .-Nonkcrs Statesman.
MIR. Buirm-"ls it fact that you
can neither read nor write:" Illiterate
-"Don't know. Never tried to do
| either" Boston Transcript
Ile-"lbo you tli..k women are the
equals OF men:' Shc-"Yes: but
don't think men are the equals of wo-
men. columbus State Journal
Capital. you know. is universally
timid. How queer. thought it was
the man without money who was
shy. y."-Typographical Journal.
"IIas the objectionable sin ever been
discovcred?' "Yes; it is the act of
sprinkling tacks on IL bicycle path."-
Philadelphia North American.
Higginton-"Comc up and see us
some time.' Stcpperby-"Awfull
sorry, but l shall be engaged on that
occasion. '-Eoston Transcript.
First Summer Girl-"Iaving many
offers!" Second Summer Girl-"Yes,
I've had to limit proposal speeches to
five minutes eacll."-New York Jour
nal.
Jamcs-"Tlle rain falls alike on the
| just and the unjust" Joncs-"rrue,
but the unjust man is generally pro-
vidcd with the just mans umbrella."-
Fun.
"He," sobbed the ver,lant bride,
'does not love me any more "You are
| lucky" said the seasoned matron, "if
he does not love you any css.'-In-
| dianapolis Journal.
| Arclie-"I always think evening
dress must be SO trying to Il lady of
humor." Bertic-"Why:" Archie
because she can't laugh i'll her
sleeve. Pick -Mc-Up.
Claud-"Do you think your father
would offer me personal violence if
were TO ask him for you:" Mabel
NO: but l think he will if you don't
pretty soon."-'lit-
The old maids soliloquy: AT seven
teen Years of age inquired which is
he? At twenty. who is he? At twenty
five. what has he: And now, where is
Eliegende Blattcr.
\ Bride (Who has elopetD-"Icre is 4
telegram from papa bridegroom
'anXiouslyl-"What does he say?"
Bri,lc-"-lll is forgiven. but don't come
back. l."-Colliei's Weekly.
y question in grammar: Mr.. lSink
Ito Il professor in Bi,ldle University
"Perfesser.' Well, Mr.. Kinky'
(Which is the past tense of the verb to
lloodoo-hoodonc or hoodidy dy'-Harlem
Life.
Mr. Benham-"I wish 1 We're single
again." Mrs. Benham-"You horrid
wretch. What would you do if you
were!" Marry you again" Mrs.
Benham-"Oh. you darling crcature.'-
Modern Society.
roet-"'That man we just passed is
Editor SoaEso. He is one of my most
particular friends" Ditto-"Ie must
buy your poems" Poet--"Oh, no; he
never buys any. said most particu-
lar, didn't I:"-Judge.
lit is SO aggravating to go house
hunting every spring" said the lady in
the city. I'VE generally have to hunt
ours up two or three times SUMMER"
said the cousin from the cyclone belt
Typographical Journal.
"Grilnsillw is tie cn.y man Of
my acquaintance who invariably wins
in an argument With II woman As
l,ins-"!Iow. in the name of wonder,
does he do it!' Teller-"Oh. he states
his size of the case and walks off,
Puck.
Traveller ito the fer,yman crossing
the river)-"Ilas any one ever been lost
in this stream:' Boatman-"NO, sir.
Some professor was drowned here last
spring, hut they found him again after
looking for two eeks."-Fliegende
Blatter.
\ mere figure of speech: He-"Away
you go to the sea-shore. Mrs. Titiing-
ton. and leave your hard working lus-
band chained to his desk" She
Chained: No, indeed: if you only
could be-. I'd have some peace of mind.''
Brooklyn Life.
Bacon-"lIave you see Sprockct late
ly| Egi,ert-"No." Bacon-"He's a
sight. F...e all cut. arm in sling,