davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
A MEAN TRICK.
MIC TENGG

Last evening at Z o'clock the passen-
gers of car of the Alamo Heights
electric line were shocked at loud re-
port as if pistol was discharged. The
report occurred on Austin street, at the
intersection of Eighth. and the car was
full of people. Some mischievous per-
son had evidently placed railroad tor
pedo on the track, which exploded as
the car wheels passed over it. For
tunately there was no horse near at the
time or there would doubtless have
been a runaway 1t will be remem-
bered that girl was killed several
months ago on River avenue by jump
ing out of a car. when the car passed
over torpedo, thinking some one was
shooting into the car.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
Pistol shats for PREACHER.

A report from Mintonville, KY, says
that Rev. Mr.. Gilman, of the Christian
church, preached a sermon there in
which he affirmed there is no devil.
The congregation took offense, and
when the reverend gentleman attempt
ed to speak again he was elected from
the house and about 20 pistol shots
were fred after him.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13

Dolls. Dolls, Dolls.
12-12-2t NC TENGG.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
BUCKLdN's ARNIcA SALyE.

The best salve in the world for Cuts,
Bruises. Sores, Ulcers. Salt Rheum,
Fever Sores, letter, Chapped Hands,
Chilblalns. Corns and all skin erup-
lions, and positively cures piles, or
no pay required. 1t is guaranteed to
give pe-.ect satisfaction or money re-
funded. Price 25 cents per box. For
sale by f. Kalteyer & Son.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
PRESENTED WITH A MEDAL.

Miss Nellie Andrews was awarded a
gold medal by the South blackberry
Street NJ. Il. Sunday school yesterday
for having comitted to memory the
largest number of Bible verses in the
past year. The medal is round and is
suspended from a gold bar on which
the young lady's name is engraved, by
chain links.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
WHY PAY 10 CENTS

For music, when you can get TWEEN
pieces for $1.00 at the J. e,
Jones & Co. old stand.
THOS. GOGGAN & BROS"
If Cor. Il. Houston and Navarro Sts
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
Butter and the Complexion.

English people, it seems, eat more
butter than any other people on the
face of the earth. 1t is partly through
this that the British complexion is the
purest in the world.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
100 NEW GAMES for evening Ell

100 NEW GAMES for evening en-
tertainment. No trouble now to keep
the boys at home in the evening. COR
NER will furnish you with the means
to occupy them. 12-12-2t
Iron toys.
Steel toys.
Moss toys.
Pewter toys.
Musical toys.
12-12-2t NC TENGG.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
CITY NEWS.

The city is full of hard-looking
characters since the past few days and
the detectives have got their eyes on
them.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13

ul lDoACo.
-Bisquine Candle Sticks.
--Bisquine Sachet Boxes.
-Bisquine Trays.
All these at CORNERS. 2t
PERFUMES and toilet articles,
suitable for holiday presents.
12-1-1m JAMES CEAVIN.-
&C. C. Blanchard has gone to Aus
tin on business.
Just received fine and complete
line of Mems nullifiers and slippers in
Wei kid and Russia calf; newest col
ors. Prices from S1.O0 to $500. An
elegant Christmas present for Gentle
men. Sullivan Shoe Co. 3t
GENERAL STOVE REPAIRING.
Il. G. Dickerson, 1882 East Houston
street. Telephon 500. 124-tf
The MUTUAL, the New Electric
Light Company, refers to any of its
customers as to the quality of the cleo
trio Light service it is furnishing, and
to the satisfactory treatment that it
affords. Telephone 315. 11-26-tf
Mems patent leather Oxfords, pump
soles, cloth top, new coin toe, $500
pair Mt Sullivan's. 3t
Roofing Felt, Pitch and Asphalt at
HENRY PAULYS. Tel SO. LIFT
We are here to stay and to furn-
fish the citizens of San Antonio the
very best incandescent and arc lights
at reasonable rates, and to leave moth
ing undone to please them. MUTUAL
ELECTRIC LIGHT COMPANY. Tel
ephone 315. 11-26-tf
1t is estimated that the excursion
to Mexico yesterday took away 600
people from this city. The most of
these returned on today's train.
Games, games, games. Mic Tengg.
Manicure sets.
Cuff and collar boxes.
Work boxes.
Toilet sets.
Necktie cases.
Cigar cases.
12-12.2t MIC TENGG.
The cheapest and best suits for the
price are made by The ]. Lobert Co.
Suits from $40 up. 104 West Com
merce street. Satisfaction guaran-
teed. 1-2S-tf
See our line of cane seats and
A. Showers Furniture Co. 11-28-tf
Best brands of WHISTLES, Cordials,
chartreuse, absynthe, champagne and
sweet wines at reduced prices.
12-9-1m NJ. CASTANOLA & SON.
-Crockinole.
Disco.
Archerena games. MIC TENGG.
Ladies' S4.OO shoes, tan. green and
black, new styles now $500 at Sulli-
vans. 3t
Mrs. o. G.. Miller, of Topeka, Kan,
is visiting her sister-in-law, Mrs. Nc
Goldrick on East Macon street, where
she will remain until after Christmas.
Books, the newest and the oldest.
Toilet atomiZers.
Games of every description.
Toys to amuse the little ones.
Albums of all kinds.
Christmas cards.
Calendars.
Boxes for every purpose.
Leather goods. Card cases.
Or anything else in my line that |
heart can wish or money can buy.
12-12-2t VIM. CORNER.
CEMENT AND LIME AT HENRY |
PAULY'S. TELEPHONE 81. 5-1S-tt |
For the best and cheapest incandes-
cent and arc lights use the MUTUAL. |
Office Ill 1-2 West Houston street, tele-
phone 315. n-24-tf.
Call up the MUTUAL" telephone
BIS, if you want to know anything |
about electric lights. n-26-tf
The many friends of Mr.. James |
Perkins and Miss Nora Orvis will be |
glad to hear that they are to be mar
ried on December %.
MIRRORS in many designs for
gentlemen's shaving or ladies' toilet |
purposes. Triplicate MIRRORS.
12-12-2t WM. CORNERS.
Buy your mother, wife and sister a |
pair of Dolge's felt slippers for Christ
mas. They are just the thing for win
ter and will be appreciated. We have
the most elegant line in the city. Sui
liyan Shoe Co. 3tl
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-12-13
EIlIlIlll1IlHIlL)

HAVE YOU Sore throat. pimples,
copper colored spots, aches, old sores,
ulcers in mouth, hair falling. Write
Cook Remedy Co., 29S Masonic Temple,
Chicago ILL.,, for proof of cures. Capt.
tai 100000. Worst case cured in Is to
IS days. 100-page book free.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
CARE AND WORRY.

Tea have heard Of Caro- and Worry. dark
visitors. they say.
WAo*sta1ks shout familiar ~ Hamlet's
= ghost q play. =
They come and tarry with you. unbidden
@ and unasked
Ard haunt their saunt forms DER you-add
@# weight to every task.
They watch therays Of sunshine, and guard
your open door,
LEST Light and Hope may enter and sing
the song OF yore.
chose friends are Care and Worry, they
laugh and dance with glee,
And pile tho fagots higher at each white
lock they see.
They glory In tho shadows their black
robes ding about.
And while the cloud IL DER you they laugh
r. and dance and shout.
they even walk before you. for should they
fall behind ,...,.., .,.....
Their forms would vanish from you. lik.
mist before tho wind.
But over on the other side wait Love, and
Hope and Joy,
Mother and wife and sister. and little Bob,
your boy.
The robin sings in the willows, and the
whippoorwill chants his lay,
Aad flowers blossom about you, from morn
-. till close Of day.
Fling il ck9attCare and Worry their black
robes Of despair.
And know as the years pass swiftly Gods
.sh4nd hath rested. there.
Smooth out the deep burrows cut wide on
brow and cheek,
Fer trouble lies In the valley-you are near
ing the mountain peak.
Household Realm.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
A LITTLE NONSENSE.

IL you feel that you must give adj
Vice, become q lawyer or doctor, and
sell it.---Atchison Globe.
= Have you seen those noiseless baby
carriages yet?" '.No! What TYant is
. noiseless baby Credit Lost. I
Dora .He.s said there was ething
about me he didn't like" Cora-.syVhat
was that?" Another mans ARM
Life.
-Tragedian-'I was nearly killed
once by the bursting of she'll" Mana
ger-"Did you ever find out who threw
the egg.-Puck.
-Miner-"So you have just returned
from Klondike, eh?" Claimer- ayes. -
Miner-"What is the principal game
played in that country?" Claimer-
Freeze out" -Norristown Herald.
-Bobbie-"Ethel, mamma has just
promised me something nice and warm.
Give me half your candy and you can
have it," Ethel-"Here's the candy.
.Row"whnt is it?" NBobbies( munching)
"A spanking."-Life.
Mrs. De Temper-'I am not happy
/ with~myshusband. Shall I>drive him
away%" Lawyer-"His life is insured
in your favor, isn't it?'' Eyes; made
him do that before we married." "Well,
don't drive him off. He'll die quicker
where he is."-N. Y. Weekly.
:. Daughter (sentimentally) - 1":Ah,
mother! the summer wanes. How beau.
tifully it dies! Soon we will have the
frost" Mother (who has tried ten sea-
sons: to get the girl off her hands, -"Oh,
'pshaw! You have had nothing but a
frost all summer!"-Puck.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Seals Love Music.

The well-known love of seals for mu-
steal sounds often leads to their de-.
struction. When the Eskimo hunter
sees none of his prey about he begins
whistling, and sooner Or later is sure to
attract an appreciative seal within reach
Of his harpoon. Lying at full length at
the edge of the ice. he continues whist
ling low, plaintive, calling notes, and
presently few Of the animals viii draw
near to the spot, lifting themselves as
high as they can out of the water, and
slowly moving their heads to and fro.
as if keeping time to the music. BY and
by one seal, more daring than its fell
lows, will come very close to the hunter.
who then jumps to his feet and slays the
creature, while its mates make on 8.
quickly @ possible. -Pearson,s Weelrly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
HOOD sPillssss 1 s .'s ,s :. e . take
FalsAyv t5.s1 ESlIsss4ea

Moreet athhhsisa Fer t,Snsumed in the
United sssEteB and sGhAida issof Japanese
growth, tstEypthe majority Of Americans ap4
parently as not undkntahd hpv q prepare
it 50 as'to developl the delicious qualities
which it contains. The JAp6ne1e Govern
ment has appropriated y ldfge Mneto aid
the Japanese Tee Ecwes;andRet mer-
chants.in prosecuting thfes educat ii9nal work,
and It Is Hoped That yAnae4t'fean lAdiestwill
be apt students.r The main Bureau Of the
Japanese Tea QnitdP has isated On official
recipe for makingsy prhnese Tea, tie tEansla-
ton of ,which'is ass follows:
First.-yse small, dry and sthoroughly
clean .portelainFteapot.
Sec5fid. Pit lin oheateasp5oJdnful of tea
leaveSforseach cup Of tea desired.
Third.-Whens using japanese teas, pour
on the required quantity Of fresh boiled wa
ter, and let ssand~with closed lid from 2
to g. minutes:s Never boil the leaves. II
order to retaint the natural favor, japanese
tea leaves ;sh9uldebe kept,inxtight can, or
jar, free4from imoisture. -!
Note.-To5 thoreughly enjoy the natural,
DELICATE andssweet flavor of japanese Teas,
neither sugar nor cream should be used.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21

sicians and gradually grew worse.
Abouta year ago 1 was advised by
friend to try Mrs. Pinkham's Sanative
Wash and Vegetable Compound, which
l did. After using three bottles of
the Vegetable Compound and one pack
age of Sanative Wash, am now enjoy
ing better health than ever did, and
attribute the same to your wonderful
remedies l cannot find words to ex-
press what a Godsend they have been
to me.
Z Whenever begin to feelnervousand
i'll, I know I have never-failing ply
sician at hand. It would afford me
pleasure to know that my words had
directed some suffering sister to health
and strength through those most ex.-.
cellent remedies. -Mlss MAY SAcHNER,
sls15 E. Rich ST., Columbus, o.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
No Charge.

It was evident that he was angry, and
perhaps he had reason to be. Just as he
fourished his brush a little too vigorously
and the result was disastrous.
t'Look at that" he yelled; indicating his
coat and making all sorts of.siolant gestures.
The painter looked at it as requested:
"You have right to kick, " he said, when
even piece of work. won't charge you a
cent for it."-Chicago Post.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
FLOORED THE FRENCHMAN.

hat said he, dancing round the table
in his rage.
"The Englishman yawned, slowly
raised himself, and looked at Pollinet
with unmoved countenance. ASK him,
he said, to his secretary in English,'if
insult
Gan insult screamed Pollinet. Yes,
yes, he shall go back to his barbarous
island a corpse
livery well, then. We have choice of
weapons, I believe? said Pointon for his
master.
"'Yes, yes, swords or.pistols. as you
choose, at any time. Twill kill you,
cried Pollinet.
It shall be now,' said the secretary
coolly. and called for the proprietor,
who came, as obsequiousa and craven as
ever. Yes, if messieurs needed it, he
had large room, very retired. But
1nessieurs would recollect that hewas;a
poor man.
AT a sign from Milor, Pointon cut
him short. Lead the way he said.
'Messieurs,' to .Pollinet and his friends,
follow, please
"Blanc led him to deserted room at
the back of the house, got water and
sponges at Pointon's orders, and then
the door was closed upon him. The
baronet locked it and stood with his
back againstit, looking intensely bored.
Monsieur said Pointon, address,
ing Pollinet, and speaking very coldly,
my principal has choice of weapons,
and he ordains that the duel shall be
fought in this room, and Immediately.
Please to nominate your second
my friend, M. Georges, will act for
me- said Pollinet. drawing. himself up
arrogantly.. Allow me to remark you
betray ignorance of etiquette, mon
sieur, in calling US all here
>"'Perhaps so, but had a purpose. /
wished you to hear my arrangements
with your second. My principal has
chosen his weapons; he elects to fight
with natures weapons-his naked fists.
Sr you will prepare yourself at once,
monsieur 81. az 1872
"Pollinet sprang forward, but Georges
was before him. 'What!' he screamed,
SIS this an insult? Fists! Outrageous!
Have you no notions of honor, you Eng
lish? Name your weapons, Isay.'
Il have already done So, said Poin-
ton, with q grim smile.
And we refuse cried Georges.
Your suggestion is an insult
! ny principal has been insuited,'
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Truly Famous.

During a geography lesson which I
was giving to third standard class we
came to Stratford-on-Avon. sthe boys
were usually anxious to give any in
formation they might possess about the
places mentioned, asked whether they
knew anything about Stratford-on-
Avon. Only one hand went up, and
after waiting vainly for more, I, never
doubling but that he was about to speak
of the immortal bard, said: "Now,
Johnnie, you may tell us about the
most famous Englishman who ever
lived.' Imagine my horror when John
MES clear voice replied: "Please'm, my
Uncle John once went there to fly .
pigeon.'n'-Answers. 5Ss
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Perhaps Andrews Was to Blame

The son of well. known Providence law
yer came home at the end of his first term in
college exulting in the fact that he stood
next to the head of his class, says an ex-
change. His father was less easily satisfied.
What! Next to the head?" he exclaimed.
"What do you mean, sir? I'd like to know
What you think l send you to college for!
to know why you aren't at the head, where
you ought to be-" The young man was nat
urally~crestfaAen, but upon his return to
college he went about his work with such
ambition that the end of the term found
him in the coveted place. He went home
The lawyer contemplated his son for few
moments in silence; then, with shrug Of
his shoulders, he remarked: "At the head
of the class, eh? Humph! That's fine
commentary on Brown university!"-
cago Tribune.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21

and he disdained to raise his head when
the party entered. NJ. Pointon, in APP
.pearance gentleman, was slipping wine
with him. and they only spoke in mono
syllables at long intervals.
".Pollinet smiled significantly at his
companions, and they took the nearest
table,to the Englishman, but still Milor
aid hot deign to raise his head.
"Pollinet called for wine for the
party, and then remarked loudly: 'Pah!
surely can smell an Englishman!
There must be one of those island-pigs
near me- The rest laughed loudly,
and all turned their eyes to Milor, but
he did not even raise his eyes, though
the secretary cast one. searching glance
In Pollinet's direction.
".Ah,' resumed Pollinet, there are
English yonder, and the smell nau-
seates me. Look at thatman's'bulk and
his boorish pose! Those barbarous
islanders!'
again the party laughed, and Poin-
ton whispered something to his mas
ter, who yawned, and made some curt
reply.
"The attack was not succeeding so
well as Pollinet had expected; and it
was like throwing stones at a wooden
figure, and he became angry, and sent
a waiter for Blanc, the proprietor.
"'What do you mean, Blanc said
Pollinet, raising his voice so that he
could be heard all over the room, by
allowing pigs Of Englishmen to de-
fle,your Establishment which weshonor
by our custom? Turn them out in
stantly.'
'Sh-'sh, monsieur,''. said the I'M
happy Blanc, in a whisper. i beg par
don, but it is an English milor and his
attendant
"'As know, and tell you to turn
them out, unless you want to lose our
custom
Poor Blanc, afraid of offending
either party, was white and perspiring
at every pore. But, monsieur he STAN.
mered, forgive me, but he-he pays
well. Likewise, he is terrible, and Il
i dare not
""obey Instantly, insolent,' said Rol.
linet, arrogantly, unless you seek ruin.
WHARF is your patriotism?
Before he could reply there came a
providential Intervention for the cow
ardly proprietor. At that moment
Pointon approached the party, with an
insolent smile on his face. "A thousand
lrpardons, messieurs,' he said, sweetly,
but monsieur, my master, is annoyed
by your loud tones especially yours,
monsieur indicating Pollinet with a
bow. He begs Of you either to mod
crate your voice, keep silence, or leave
the room,' and he bowed to them
again.
''Pollinet's friends could not help
smiling at this courteous but effective
counter-thrust, and the bravo sprang
up, livid and dumb with fury. The Sec
rotary had not waited for his reply,
but returned to his seat, and Pollinet
followed close on his heels and planted
himself before Milor, who did not
change his posture, but looked on the
passion-infiamed face of the bravo with
lazy contempt, as one might look on a
snarling mongrel.
"'You island pig!' said Pollinet, his
voice thick with passion. You dare
order me to be silent, insolent! scum!
barbarian! Go back to your filthy is
land, go before l whip you and he
took Milor's hat from his head and
flung it towards the door. Follow your
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Shake Into Your Shoes.

Aliens Foot Ease, a powder for the feet.
It cures painful, swollen, smarting feet and
instantly takes the sting out of corns and
bunions. It's the greatest comfort discovery
of the age. Aliens Foot Ease makes tight
or new shoes feel easy. 1t is certain cure
for sweating, callous, hot, tired, aching feet.
Try it to-day. Sold by all druggists and shoe
stores, 25c. Trial package, FREE. Write to
Allen S. Olmsted, Leroy, n. Y.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
vWhye

Tenant-1 demand rebate on my
rent. Your darned old water-pipe
burst, flooded my cellar, and my chick.
ems were drowned.
Landlord-But, my dear sir, why,
didn't you keep ducks ?-Philadelphia
North American. "
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
A. Normal W0man.

1inks-What a foolish question! Of
course my wife objects to my smoking!
Filkins-Why, how could I know?
Jinks-You ought to be we'll enough
acquainted with me to know that I
would not have married an eccentric
woman.-N. Y. Journal,
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
= A Sad Blow,

Mr.. Differs pardon, Mr.. Ham.
mer, but can you tell me where my
wife is seated? can't find her.
Mr., Hammer (auctioneer)-Sh has
not been here to-day.
Mr.. Differs (wildly)-My! My! She
must beSdead.-N: Weekly.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
AN OPEN LETTER
From Miss Sachner, Of Columbus.
O., to Ailing Women.

To all women who are ill:-1t af-
lords me great pleasure to tell you of
the benefit have derived from TAX
ing Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. l can hardly find words to
express my gratitude for the boon
given to suffering women in that ex-
7cellent remedy. Before taking the
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Not One OF That KIND.

"No, Mr.. Haakinson," said Tommy
to the young man who was waiting in
the parlor for Tommy : sister, II ain't
the kind OF q little boy you're always
.readin' about in the papers what begs
candy from the fellers. that tcomes to
see Their. sisters. Still, if you've got any
in your pockets I'd be willin' to take it. I"
Chicago Tribune. x.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Perils Of 'Socfetv.

"Your daughter; madam, is suffering
from general functional arrangement"
:'There-1've told her often that: at
tending all them functions d be the
death of her."-Louisville Courier
Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Trying to Defraud Her.

Horton-How is it that you always put on
such long face and talk so discouragingly
when your wife happens to be present? And
at other times you are the most enthusiastic
prosperity boomer know of?
Henley-I promised her away back last
spring that I'd get her new seafskiil sacque
this fall. if business picked up.-Cleveland
Leader
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
A Fitting Head.

"What sort of head shall I put on
this story about the fellow who was
tarred and feathered?" asked the new
reporter.
| f"How will He was bird do % suo-
gested the court man.-Philadelphi
North American.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Mean Thing.

Miss Chatter-1 knew you would be
here to-day to see sister.
Mr.. Cudd1er (interrog. )-Intuition ?
Miss Chatter-No-o observation. You
always appear on the same day that
Ethel refuses onions at dinner.-Judge.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Sure Death.

She-His widow engaged the Oh
Hush Quartette to sing at her hus-
band'sg funeral.
.He-1 suppose she wanted to avoid
all possibility of his ever coming to
life.-N. Y. Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Not What She Meant.

Mrs. Parvenu-Yes, I'm proud to say
that my husband has made his mark.
Mrs. gHautton-How singular! He
writes such nice hand now.-Brook-
lvn Life.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
GettinRta His Evens.

she-What do you mean by circulat-
Ing the report that I live hand-to-
mouth existence. How dare you?
He-Wen, that was the ayit seemed
to me. Whenever call Gu you, you put
in most of the time neutrality-suspicious.
apolis Journal.
The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1897-10-21
Broke the Record.

Mrs. Suburbs My dear, our new
kitchen girl is marvel. She has been
here three weeks and hasn't broken
a single thing.
Mr.. Suburbs-Hasn't broken any.
thing?> should say she bad
Mrs. Suburbs-What do you mean?
Mr.. Suburbs-Did we ever have girl
before who@stayed more than three
days?-N. Y. World.