Little Falls weekly transcript. (Little Falls, Morrison Co., Minn.) 1894-19??, 1897-09-17
MouBED At. GRASS VALLEY.
The Editor Of the Arixons Kicker ana
| Soma of Nix Exueriencas. All n. klaN

The Editor Of the Arixons Kicker ana
Some Of His Experiences.
The story made much Of In the last Issue
Of our esteemed contemporary, to the effect
that we were mobbed over at Grass Valley
the other night, is not q canard. We were
mt Grass Valley, and II being egged and
mobbing then we were mobbed. We were
invited to 20 over there and deliver our
celebrated lecture on Man-His Perfeo-
lions and Imperfections. OF the 100
men at Grass Valley we don't believe there
are three perfect ones. There are morS
knock kneed squint eyed; humpbackod
critters to tho square foot In that town
than anywhere else In America, and we
had the sand to say % when we reached
the "Imperfeotions" In our lecture. Other
lectures would have lied about 1t and
tickled those slabsided kyotes half 70
death, but we gave 'ein facts and ca1ne
near losing our life In consequence. Four
teen eggs hit Us in chorus before our
wheels began to revolve, and 1t seemed a.
II every man In town had q shot at US az
we were climbing into the saddle. How
many mounted and followed after we cam
not guess, but our mule realized tho situa-
ton and made no jumps Of less than IA
feet. No, 1t is no oanard. We were mob.
bod and driven out, and we shan't visit
that town again until we are tired Of life
and ready to hang. ~ s..E VIII
The news of the sudden death Of Major
John Williams fell like blow on the town
last Wednesday,. The major returned
home lato Tuesday night, drunk as usual,
but seeming to be all right, and Weanes-.
day morning he was found dead in his
bed. As men average up out this way the
major WIS good man. We early discov-
cred that he fed from the east on account
of embczzlement, but even when he threat,
ened our life, as he did on several oo0a-
sions, we never mentioned the fact to him.
He wanted to run US as editor and mayor,
and because he couldn't he was hunting
for us with gun about half the time. We.
had to shoot him on three different ocoa-:
sions, but we always shot gently and with
no intention to kill, and we have the re-
ceirts tn prove that we paid his doctor bill.
When his better nature prevailed, he was
our good friend and kept our demijohn
empty and was always in our debt for Dor.
rowed money. We can't say that the soul
Of Major Williams went straight from
Giveadam Guloh to heaven, but we do be-
lieve that much of the rough trail was
made smooth, and that the change has
been to his benefit. n
Mr.. Silas Jackson Of Pine Hill spent
Wednesday night last in the town lookup
Of Giveadam Gulch, and next morning he
went home threatening damage suit
against US as mayor. He got drunk and
fired seven bullets into the front doors of
the city hall, and as tho city marshal was
not at hand we gave him the collar and
marched him off. Mr.. jackson claims
that the first he knew Of our presence was
when his heels struck billboard at
height of six feet from the earth. He con-
tends that he was acting in riotous man
ner, and that 1t was our duty as mayor to
have read him the riot act and commanded
him to disperse. He will base his suit on
this, but we wish to inform him that
technioalities don't go In this town. We
have always carried a copy of the riot aot
In our vest pocket since being elected to.
the inayoralty, but have never yet met.
with q riot which seemed too big for us to
suppress in the ordinary way. II we buck
up against something, with four or, five
good men In the front row, we shall stop
to read the act In loud voice, but If there
10 only one man, and we can get a hand
ON bis collar and our knee in the small Of
his back, he's got to disperse without
any further Formally. Mr.. jackson
shouldn't be oaptious over small things.
. r..- - NJ, QUAD,