davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
He stopped the Car.

He Was young and neatly dressed,
but he retained the biggest half of a
last nights jag. Making his way up
.he Boweiy as steadily as he could, he
suddenly decided to take a cable car.
Unfortunately, he was in the middle
OF the block, and cable cars stop only
at corners, but the gentleman was too
much absorbed in whisky and thought
to realize the fact. The first car re-
fused to stop, OF course. So the gen.
tleman retired to the sidewalk, and
entered the cars number with great
care and deliberation in a memoran-
dunn book. Then he essayed a second
car (about four cars had passed while
ne had been putting down the num-
per), but the second and equally a third
car likewise did not stop. In each case
ne entered the number of the SHINING
car in his book. Finally, with an ex-
preston that said, 'I'll make this car
stop,' he clutcned the hand rail OF
the rear platform of fourth car and
pulled back as if stopping a team of
horses.
The car went on.
So did the gentleman with the jag, a
sort OF human pennant to the car. A
passenger on the rear platform rang
the bell wildly to stop the car. After
the car came to a standstill the pen
nant climbed aboard and calmly put
down in his notebook the number of
the conductor, gripman and car, then
he dropped asleep triumphantly.
The man next to him saw the num-
ber of the car, as he had written it
down. This was it: "Carnumber
321, ,147776, 6,S11."-NewY York Sun.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
SarsapariIIa
Sharing a Log with a Bear.

Incidental to the recent great storm,
many stories will undoubtedly get into
circulation that will exhibit heroism,
romance and ludicrous incidents dove
tailed with the accounts of loss of prop
erty and the wreclsings of fortunes
John Baker came down Miller river on
big fir tree. Mr.. Baker seated him
self at the butt end of the tree, and af-
ter going down about a half n mile he
had company. A huge black bear,
swimming for his life in the seething
water, climbed on the tree and station
ed himself about thirty feet from the
man. In addition to his already preca-
rious situation, that bear nearly fright
ened Mr. Baker 10 death. But Mr..
Bear was about as badly frightened as
the other fellow, and when the current
finally drifted the tree to dry land, the
bear took to his heels with as much
alacrity as Baker. Post.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
Fun at the White House.

The humors of the White House, it is
the testimony of everyone who has re-
sided there, would fill many volumes.
Many of them are found in the daily
mail bag. At a dinner the other day
Mrs. Mckee told of a letter Mrs. Har-
rison received while first lady of the
land. 1t ran:
Dear Maddam-I would like a pres
ent from Washington City, and so I
will locate on you for it. Please send
me dress pattern and (here followed
list of several other thingsj
please pay the express, as l have made
a vow never to pay anything on an
express package, as l never know what
it is until l have opened it, Mrs.
Harrison, according to the relator,
was much amused at this missive. and
"Tll locate on you for that" became
a standing phrase in the family ever
after when some object was coveted.
Another letter received by Mrs Har-
rison ran:
Dear Madam-Please send me some
sheet music, as l have a daughter that
has some talents. Ohio State Jour-
nal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
The Julian Year.

The error of the Julian year was
corrected in the Gregorian calendar by
the suppression of three intercalations
in 400 years. In order to restore the
commencement of the year to the same
place in the seasons that it had occu-
pied at the time of the Council of Nice,
Gregory directed the day following the
feast of St. Francis, that is to say, the
9Th of October, to be reckoned the 18th
of that month. By this regulation the
vernal equinox which then happened
on the 18th of March was restored to
the 21st. From 1882 to 100 the differ
ence between the old and new style
continued to be ten days; but 100 be-
ing a leap year in the Julian calendar,
and a common year in the Gregorian,
the difference of the styles during the
18th century was eleven days. The
year 1900 was also common in the new
calendar, and, consequently, the diff
ference in the present century is twelve
days. From 1900 to 2100 inclusive it
will be thirteen days.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
THE INTELLIGENT JURY.
Even the Court Himself Got Up and
Swore.

Swore.
'I don't believe everything l hear
about the ignorance of the average
jury" said an old lawyer in reminis-
cent mood, relates the Detroit Free
Press, "but once, when I visited a
backwoods court in the mountains OF
North Carolina, did happen on an in
cident that shook my faith for time.
The case was before a squire and the
prisoner was up for hog stealing. 1t
was the rudest court and surroundings
l ever got into and | should not have
been surprised at anything, but l was.
After a couple Of jack-leg lawyers had
got in what they had to say the court
turned the case over to a jury and it
adjourned to barn to decide the inno-
cence or guilt of the prisoner. And
such jury! 1 can never forget what
motley gang that jury was. In half
an hour it came back and resumed its
place in court.
Have you found verdict?' asked
the squire.
What's that?' responded the fore
man.
Have you found verdict? That's
what, replied the squire.
Why, squire hes;tated the fore
man, with a foolish grin, we didn't
know thar Wuz one lost; did we, boys"
And even that court couldn't stand it,
but got up and swore.''
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
a GnRat Risk.

Two impecunious Scotsmen came up
on saloon. They had only sax
pence" between them, so they ordered
''one nip O. whusky." They were hesi-
tating who should have the first drink,
when an acquaintance joined them
Pretending that they had just drank,
one of them handed the whisky, re-
questing him TO join them in drink.
He drank, and after few minutes of
painful and silent suspence, said:
Now, boys, you'll have one with
me-"
''Wasna that weel managed, mon?"
said one to his pal afterward.
''Ay. it was" said the other solemn
ly, but it was dreadful risk. -Argo-
naut.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

us to entertain her all the time or she
annoys the family on the other side OF
| the house-every time she cries some
one comes over to see what ails that
| baby
when John moves again l am going
! to have him move into a single house,
and then can let the baby cry all she
| wants to.
AFTER ma had picked until she was
tired a bright idea came into my head,
and told her I would skin the duck
entirely-then no one would find any
pin feathers and it would look smooth
and sleek all over. 1t only provoked
me that I had not thought of doing it
before. I don't know why it is, but
somehow my bright ideas always come
too lates
$50 / gave the baby to ma and told
them to watch this interesting per-
formance.
'But it was easier said than done
My, how greasy thai skin was! 1t was
almost impossible to get a good tight
hold pulled and jerked and wished
had never had any bright ideas until
it was finally skinned and the clock
pointed to 10 minutes to II and no din
ner
Then l had to run to the corner
grocery to get some dried beef very
we'll knew John detested dried beef for
dinner, but they had nothing else, and
when John came home he ate his din
ner G? in silence. But 1 promised to
have the duck roasted for supper.
with this prospect in view 1 went
to work more cheerfully, yet not very
satisfied, fear. In order to have the
duck well done 1 put it in the oven
soon after dinner, and was surprised
to see how small it got-the longer it
roasted the smaller it grew, and it
locked so funny, something like
skinned cat; when in comes John,
bringing friend with him to help eat
the duck!
well, no one can imagine my feel
ings. When they sat down to the ta-
BILE l noticed John looking around for
something, and finally when he saw
the horrid little shriveled-up thiley he
burst out into hearty laugh, saying:
Why, Nellie, is this all that is left of
our beautiful duck?' I never before
felt SO mortified. John tried to find
tender piece for our guest. but it was
impossible to find anything tender on
that duck-it was as dry as chips,
worse than the driest dried beef, and
nh en- facte1occ and co darl,-do vo,,
think 1 roasted it too long, Kate?
II hope I may never, never again see
another duck"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
New Years Duck.
rp+@+@I~..@.~.<

"Oh! Nellie, you should see the love.
iy duck got as present this morn
ing-lt's perfect beauty-I am going
to have it for our New Years dinner,
said Mrs. English to her friend Mrs
Lane, VINO had come in to see her dur
ing the afternoon and talk over the
Christmas celebration of few days be-
fore.
'Is yor- duck dressed or alive
kate?" asked Nellie in some haste.
"Oh! it's alive, l am going to dress
1t myself" answered Kate, cts not
much trouble to dress a duck-do you
think it would be-"
We'll, Kate, I really pity you. /
must tell you what a dreadful time /
had with the one we killed last week,
1t yet makes me shiver all over only
to think of it, it was such a terrible
day the memory of it will never fade
away! l really think my back has not
once stopped aching since picked that
duck
DO tell me, Nellie, won't their feath-
ers come out, or what was the trouble?"
asked Kate. 81 am beginning to feel
alarmed
'I'll begin by telling you how we got
the duck" began Nellie. Zone night
after had gone up stairs with the
baby, and John was smoking his pipe
it must have been after II o'clock
there was faint knock at the kitchen
door, l heard John going to the door
and speaking to some one. and then he
and the some one went into the gar
den to the chicken coop, and presently
1 heard loud noise and fuss among
the hens. 1t. was Jim Peters. He had
won duck at a rattle at a tavern and
asked John to let him put it in our
hen coop until further notice.
Now, either the duck did not feel
very comfortable or the hens did not
feel as much at ease as formerly,
don't know what caused it, but there
was constant war going on among
them. Why, didn't get one egg while
that fowl was in there. So told John
to tell Jim to remove it or we would
kill it. At last John bought it from
Jim and killed it, and said 1 should
roast it for dinner
Now, John killed it before he went
to work, but thought if 1 woud begin
to dress it after o'clock 1 could soon
get it in the oven. Then / knew moth
ing about ducks; now I am much wiser.
81 asked ma-you know ma just came
the day before from the west; it's the
first time she had been to see us since
we were keeping house. I asked ma
whether I should scald the duck or pick
it dry She said she had always picked
hers dry and had saved the down for
.er feather beds. So began to pick it
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
A SIiDDpry Suot.

A short time ago an old lady went on
board Nelson's flagship. the Victory.
The different objects of interest were
duly shown her. and, on reaching the
spot where the great naval hero was
wounded (which was marked by a
raised brass plate, the officer remarked
to her:
Here Nelson fell.''
''And no wonder" exclaimed the old
lady. Il nearly fell there myself"'-
LOudCn Answers
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
rhe suece.. OF Henry q. rhorell.

Henry G. Thorell, whose postoffice
address is Holdrege, Neb., was at one
time a carriage maker in Chicago. He
removed to Nebraska in 1877. That he
has reason to be satisfied is proven by
the fact that he is today worth $50, 900,
every cent OF it made on his farm.
Last year 1s96) he had $50 acres in
corn, ESQ acres in small grain, 26 horses,
so head of cattle and $50 hogs.
In our "NEBRAsKA Book" 10 pages
with maps and illustrations, are doz-
ems of statements like that of Mr.. Thor
rell. They are made by farmers who
have made Il success of farming. They
show that Nebraska is as good n state
as any in the Union.
The book in which they appear is as
different from the ordinary agrlcul-
tural pamphlet as day is from night.
1t is interesting, practical and truthful.
In straightforward, simple fashion,
it tells you everything you need to
know about Nebraska-its climate,
people, schools, churches, railroads,
markets, soil and crops. 1t explains
why the Nebraska farmer makes mon
ey in spite of low prices and hard
times. Why land is cheap. And how
it is as easy for an intelligent and in
dustrious man to BUY a Nebraska
farm as it is to rent one in any state
east of the Missouri river.
Every farm renter who wants to be-
come farm owner; every farm owner
who is tired OF trying to make money
off high-priced land; every father who
wants to give his sons start on the
high road to independence, should write
for copy. Free.
j. FRANCIS.
Geul Pass'r Agt., Burlington Route.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
Three Events of 1896.

Eighteen hundred and ninety-siX
will always be memorable in literary
annals as ending the lives OF three
great female writers-Harriett Beech
er Stowe, the novelist, Kate Field, the
journalist, and Gail Hamilton, the
versatile authcress. The latter's sig
nature was a nom de plume, composed
of the second syllable in her Christian
name and of Hamilton, the village Of
her birthplace. Few identified her
spinster appellation of Mary Abigail
Dodge.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

81 picked and picked and pulled until
my fingers ached-it seemed as though
the feathers were grown in to stay, and
1t took SO long 1 was beginning to get
nervous, so when ma wasn't looking 1
poured some boiling water over the
duck to hurry uC matters
But, dear me, then the real trouble
began. The hot water made the skin
SO tender and greasy that it tore off in
large pieces, and the down stuck like
wax I really think if l had saved all
that down it would have been enough
for at least four large pillows When
1 thought one side was nearly done it
would be all covered with another coat
of down and fuzz and pinfeathers, and
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

1 don't know what all that duck didn't
have to cover itself with.
mo wonder ducks never get wet
when they go into the water. Why,
this ones skin was one sheet of fat
and feathers.
when the clock struck 10 that duck
looked perfectly dreadful. I wish you
could have seen it. felt so disgusted
1 almost cried. Then, when ma saw
the tears in my eyes she said if would
hold the baby she would pick awhile.
So I sat down to rest-why, really, I
felt so faint could scarcely stand any
longer, just fussing with that horrid
fowl.
Nov you know how fretful the baby
is-she is teething. and it takes one of
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
A 5O-Cent Calendar Free.

Perhaps the most beautiful calendar issued for
the year 30 Is THE YOUTu's COMPANION Art Cal
lcndar. which Is given to each subscriber 10 the
paper for the year ~. 10 s made up of four charm
ing pictures beautifully reproduced I'm twelve haT
mOniOus cOlOrs. 1t Is In form "A four-pagc folder.
which. when extended. Is 1OS2i inches IN size. The
subjects delightfully."- attractive This calendar
makes desirable ornament for "a mantle, centre
table writing desk. It Is offered for sale only
by the publishers of THE YOUTHS COMPNSION at
80 cents per copy. Only because of the enormous
number published Is IL possible for the publishers
of THE COMPNNGOS 10 send it free to all Con-
PANION subscribers.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
JOSH BILLINGS PHILOS

A gentleman il the party who liz all
wuss honest, and allwuss polite, and
keeps his boots shined up, and his fin
ger nails clean.
Mi dear fellow, yu kant git emmy
thing out ov this world unless you ask
for it, an.! VII amt going to git mutch
esnyhow. unless you insist upon it.
When yu settle with yurself, insist
ssstle with the world, take haff price
ii VII kant git emmy more.
Mi dear boy, don't let emmy man git
the drop on yu. This il a vulgar say
ing, but if yu have got branes enuff,
yu will use it for moral purpose
There are no doubt plenty ov peo-
pie in the world who are abuv sus.
pishun, but 1 never hav known emmy
one (not miselD whcm it wasn't safa
to watch.
Thare iz mighty sight ov odds be-
tween knowing everybody, and hav-
ing everybody kno yu; but thare il
lots ov folks who never diskover the
difference.
There il sumthing funny about this,
but l have notissed that yu could sell q
man a kake ov sweet scented sopn,
at the same price, with less talk, ths.n
yu could a koppy Of the nu testament.
The odds izz just what makes the
difference-to wit: WHAT III learn b.
yuSe own experience allwuss kosts 81.
it iz worth, and sometimes a CRATE deal
more; but what VII learn bi the expert
ence ov others don't kost nothing, and
u worth just as mutch.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

Some people never find out that there
is joy in giving, because they never
give enough.
81 think it's shame, Cyrus, that
we've let Esmeralda grow up without
trying to give her some kind of musical
training. She can't sing at all"
That's true, Emily-but she knows
it-"-Chicago Tribune.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
Merchants Hotel, Omaha.

CORNRR FIFTEENTH AND FARNAM SITS.
Street cars pass the door to and from
both depots; in business center of city.
Headquarters for state and local trade.
Rates &2 and S3 per day.
PAXTON 81 DAVENPORT, Props
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
To Keep VioIets Fresh.

To keep violets fresh when wearing
them on the person, wrap the stems
first in cotton dipped in saited water.
the tops sprinkled and the whole
covered closely with confectioner's pa
per, and put in cool place. In this
way the blossoms may be preserved for
saveral days. New York Tribune.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
Cheap Lands and Homes

Are to be had on the Frisco Line in
Missouri. Arkansas and Kansas. The
best route from st. Louis to Texas and
all points west and southwest. For
maps. time tables, pamphlets, etc, call
upon or address any agent of the COM
pany, or, d. Wishart, Gen1 Passenger
Agent, St Louis. Mo.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
YOU WANT FARM and we have

80 miles west of Houston. ut CHESTERvlLle.
the best tract in Texas. High prairie, wen
drained. abundant rainfall, good soil, low
prices and easy terms. Don't fail to- post
yourself Write and receive our book - Fer
tile Farm Lands FREE and information as
to cheap excursion and FREE FARE. Address
Southern Texas Colonization Co John
Linderholm, Mgr, 40 Rialtc Bldg. Chicago
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01
Ever Popular.

Shaded chrysanthemums, yellow
and brown, have been used at one or
two autumn weddings as bridal bou-
quets.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

1t is youth. not learning, that makes
Young eopie smart.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

DR.. Kay's Lung Ba m is the safest, surest
and p!easantest cure for all coughs.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

Naturalists say that a healthy swallow
will consume atOut 600 swallows day.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

Piso's Cure for Consumption has saved
me large doctor bi!ls.-C. L. Baker, 1923 Re-
gent So. Phi. .adelphia, Pa, Dec. $, 1895.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

@paA7~A ANsaessS
!
.sNsSSS.rT2a.A aMa
!: ! :: ) !: !: !: +"
M ~ Nm HERE was an ex-
LTA HV T. pectant smile on
0IE NM Grandma Bartlett's s
eSS>ZNMqNEaI face. She pulled
I9hZs@@ WIS., the shade over the
EAkxzZEsMMgAs lamp and drew the
1a>-Ss8fNA-S(S curtains, shutting
NET9SYy her room in cozily. The
80 clock on the mantel was
,EHy ticking the Old Year away
So as fast as it could hurry
him off. 1t was dusk and New
Years eve, and that was the time for
the Pincushion Ceremony at Bartlett's.
Fred met Alice on the stairs, and Belle
and Arthur came along the hall. Belle
carried Baby Lefty in her arms, and
they each bore bristling little red to-
mato pincushion in their hands
Grandma had placed five hassocks in
a row.
Arthur's subdued knock. They filed in.
laughing.
Stools of repentance" crieG tall
Belle, dropping into her hassock. 20
grandma, my cushion is full of pins. I
broke my resolution every other day.
I resolved to keep my temper, you
know, and l got so tired of poking in
a pin for slip, nights at bedtime"
Look at my lazy pins" mourned
Fred.
"And my behind-time stickers,'
chimed in Alice.
II didn't think I did put off things
so often," sighed Arthur, and then
Baby Lefty stuck up her cushion. 1t
was empty.
Nov, dears," said grandma, pro
ceed with the ceremony"
Solemnly they each tumbled their
pins into box on the table. Another
stood near it.
why, there's not half so many as
last year, grandma" cried Fred.
why, why! And we all felt so bad
Iyw
Clean. cushions again." said grand
ira happily, picking up Lefty to hug
her. "Now for grandma's New Years
presents"
There were beautiful books and
games.
81 always feel as if you paid us for
being naughty" said Alice, looking up
with smile from her book But I
wouldn't part with my Resolution
Cushion for the worldv'
Arthur looked at his empty cushion.
I'm glad those pins are gone," he
said. ga clean start for a happy New
Year. I say, grandma, how We love
your
And four impetuous pairs Of arms
almost smothered dear. gentle grand
ma. Lillian L. Price.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

FITS stopped free and permanently cured. No fits
after first days use of DIR. E[line's Great Nerve
Res:Orer. Free - trial bottle and treafis..
send 10 Dr. KLISE, 93l Arch ST. Philadelphia, Pa
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

A woman can pick out bride as far as
she can see her.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

Lions and tigers are too weak lunged to
run more than half mile
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

CamphOr Ice with GIycerine.
he original and only genuine. Cures Chapped Hands
and Face, Cold Sores. &c C.GClark 81 Co. ,S.Haven CT.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

The best time for exercise is about two
hours after a meal.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

The fatter woman is the less hair she
has
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

Gen'l Pass'r Agt., Burlington Route,
Omaha, Neb.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

her room in cozily. The
clock on the mantel was
ticking the Old Year away
as fast as it could hurry
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1897-01-01

HERE was an ex-
pectant smile on
Grandma Bartlett's
face. She pulled
the shade over the
lamp and drew the
ni,rt aipc chIIttiD0