The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-03-03
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.

Better is it to have one pair Of 7;
trousers with money in the pockets
than two pair with empty pockets.
= The demand for frogs has reached
Colleton county, S. c., and the county
press think it w"'r'i BE- profitable i
business to eng =. &
Minnesot' d South Dakota are
the only two States of the Union that
have half of their population made up
of foreign-born residents.
= An Alabama girl shot a man
twice and then married him. When al
woman hates man, she will go to any
extreme to secure revenge. 4
The flea is the politician of the
insect world. He is ever itching for
place, creates no end of disturbance,
and you never know where toind him.
"Can you extract teeth without
pain p asked the groaning caller.
doesn't hurt me bit. In fact,
rather enjoyit,' answered the smiling
dentist.
The horse .hen browsing is
guided entirely by the nostrils in the
choice Of properfood, and blind horses
are never known to make mistakes in
their diet.
When you become convinced that
you have done wrong thing, it is not
sign Of weakness for you to make a !
prompt and explicit acknowledgment
Of the fact. slS.
"Were you in any great action
during the war p" eyes. That is !.
the reason there is so little action in
me now," said the old soldier who had
wooden leg.
Nodd--Do you think there is ary
relation tetween person 5 looks and
actions7 Todd hope not. They
say my baby looks like me but he acts;
like the devil.
= According to the statistics of the
weather bureau, the property loss from
tornadoes during the last 10 years has
been FIVE times as great in Missouri as !
in any other State.
= It is waste of energy to resolve
to break off one bad habit, if ne are
as firmly resolved to hold to another. |
God does not give US grace ito make a !:
compromise with him. q;
"Yoh KANT set down no fixed
rule O. conduct in disher life, said
Uncle EEen. Samson got inter trou-
BILE case he done got his b 'ah cut, an n';
Absalom got inter trouble 'causeheS
didn't" y
In Penobscot County, Me-, the
fine imposed on dealers who violate (
the liquor law pay all the county exs
penses. The fines are collected With
as much regularity as if they were
licenses.
In Vanceburg, KY, is a man
thirty-6ve years old who has three
families. He was divorced one afSer-
noon recently from his third wife and /
he was married to fourth Son the
following evening.
= Wool-"Some people have trou- (
BILE with their mothers-in. law nm
happy to say that mine is an ANGEL q
Van Pelt-"Allow me to congratulate
you; mine was quite i'll at one time, 4
but she got well.
A good way to take nauseous
medicine is to first take bit Of alum
in the mouth. The medicine can then
be taken with as much ease as though
it were so much sugar. This is for
the benefit Of the ''grippers. y
= A slot bicycle is in use in Glas-
gov for hiring purposes. The costis
penny for every five miles travelled =,
and if the wheelman neglects to drop
in a penny at the end Of each five
miles the wheels refuse to move.
= At the beginning of the present
century the Bible could be studied by
only one-ffth of the earth's popula-
tion. Now it is translated into lam
guages which make it accessible to
nine-tenths of the world s inhabitants.
When dog gets after arabbit
he makes the hare fly. Sometimes
when woman gets after her derelict5
husband she, too, makes the hair fly.
And when a mother finds her only !;
son at the jam she also makes her heir
fly.
A Georgia marble man says that
if all the houses, not only in The
United States, bnt on the American
continent, were destroyed, SO mex
haustible is the supply that they could I
every one large aud small, be rebuilt
out Of Georgia marble.
Two Mississippi girls, infatuated
with the same man, agreed to settle
their claims to his affections by a.
bicycle race, which was witnessed and
decided by the lover. But instead 4f
marrying the winner he eloped with
the defeated candidate.
= Major Nc Kinley will, at the time
Of his Inauguration, be 81 years Of
age. Nine presidents entered the 4
White House at an earlier age Grant
at Al, Cleveland at 49, Garfield and
Pierce at .l9, Polk at so, Fillmore at,
so, Tyler and Arthur-at 81, and Lin
coin at 50.
CT do not believe this nonsense
about Friday being an unlucky day..
said Mrs. Minks. Don't you, my
dear p replied Minks, who Was trife !.
out Of humor. 81 believe it, though.
Friday, you will remember was the day
I was foolish enough to ask you to 3
marry me-" "Ah, yes" Mrs. Minks
responded, $50 it was, and I was foolish
enough to accept you. Yes, Friday:is !
an unlucky day
"A young man on becoming affi- ;
anced was desirious of presenting his
intended with a ring appropriately
inscribed ; but being at loss what to
have engraved upon it, he asked his !
fathers advice. "Well," said the old
gentleman, "put on, when this you
see remember me. ," The young lady
was surprised, upon the receipt Of the
ring, few days later, to read this
inscription, "When this you see re-
member father
= It is said there is an authenti-
Gated account of a horse weeping during
the Crimean war. During an advance
on a battery, a company Of men and
horses was almost entirely destroyed,
l,,,,o,e ond boocte ,osoo Jo-n - 49, :.