davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
IRRATIONALITIES

Amt any reason in bein' proud,
Too fine to go with the rest of the
crowd;
Amt any reason in bein' shy
World amt waiGin' for you to pass by
Amt any reason for bein' a shirk,
Gaupln' for somebody else to work;
Ain'c any a in not bein' glad
Amt THIS life the BEST you've had2
Aims any reason in bein' afraid
Something'u happen, faint all down
grade;
Amt anv reason in talkin' fast
The little you've got to say won't last;
Amt any reason in not lookin' up
Soon as you've got to the dregs in
your cup; -
Amt aoy reason in not forgivin'-
You must keep on lovin' to keep on
livIn';
Amt any reason in not bein' true
Make g beginnin' an carry it through;
Ain't any reason, or joy, or beauty;
In doin' anything less than your duty.
-Laura Il Fisher in Boston Traveller.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
A SHORT TEMPERANCE LEG
TURF.

A laborer lately told his wits, on
awakening, a curious dream which he
had during the night. He dreamed
that he saw coming toward him, in or
der, four rats, The first one was very fat,
and was followed by two lean rats, the
rear rat being blind. The dreamer was
greatly perplexed as to what evil
might follow, as it had been understood
that to dream of rats denotes coming
calamity. HI appealed to his wife con
corning this. but she, poor woman,
could not help him. His son, a sharp
lad, who heard his father tell the story,
volunteered to be the interpreter.
THE fat rat" he said, lis the man
who keeps the saloon that you go to
so often. The two lean rats are my
mother and myself, and the blind rat,
father, is yourself. "-Ex.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
HIS HONOR WAS UNTOUCHED

Many stories are told of the witty
Efforts made by a certain English
Judge who died a few years ago, and
among them is one that proves that his
wit did not desert him In the most try
ing cir umstances.
One day as he was walking down
the steps which lead from his town
house he slipped, lost his footing and
fell with many thumps and bumps to
the bottom. A passer by hurried up
to the Judge as the latter slowly rose to
his feet.
Il trust Your Honor is not seriously
hurt}' he said, in anxious inquiry.
Ny honor is not at all hurt" re
turned the judge, with a rueful ex
PRESTON, but my elbows and knees
are, I can assure you."-Ex.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
THE DANGERS OF KISSING.

Some time ago q metropolitan news
paper contained a long account of a
society, said to have been established
somewhere in Indiana, the object Of
which was the encouragement Of the
habit Of kissing a social parties. Mem
bership in this society was limited
strictly to women; perhaps it was
feared that there would be too many
backsliders if men were admitted.
The writer of the article might have
employed his imagination more use
fully had he described a society of
matrons established for the protection
of babies against the oscillations Of
every chance acquaintance or visitor
in the family, Or even passer by in the
street.
Babies, at least most babies, r very
lovable, when they r in their happy
moods, but that is no reason why
they should be subjected to treatment
that they would surely resent were
they old enough to appreciate the in
dignity. And there is not alone the
indignity, for the custom, when so
promiscuoug, is distinctly un9e 35hetic,
and worse than that, dangerous to
health.
There is no more efectual means Of
conveying the contsgion of disease,
apart from actual incubation, than by
kissing. Medical literature is full OF
instances of the transmission of diph-
liberia and other dangerous diseases in
this way. And it is not the baby alone
that is in danger through this custom,
for it has happened more often than
one could believe, that the child has
been the one who was i'll, and has
spread its mslady through a wide Cir
Gle of hysterical osculators. If the
antl-baby kissing society were ever
ee tablished, this is a fact that should
be made the subject of its first tract
Selected.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
READING TO SMALL PURPOSE.

An Eogiish paper prints what pur-
ports to be a conversation between a
man and his wife. 1t is not to be sup
posed that such a scene could ever
have occurred, even in England, but
readers may find it amusing, and at a
pinch instructive.
james, dear, will you bring me up
a scuttle of coal from the cellarG" said
a busy wife.
That's just the way with you" said
James, with a frown, as he put down
his book and rose from the armchair.
"Just the way with met"
"Yesl' he snapped. "As soon as
you see me enjoying myself you have
something or other for me to do. Didn't
you see l was absorbed in my read
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
"well, dear, I will do it myself"

ing"
swell, dear, I will do it myself"
Eyes, and tell everybody-your
mother especially-that you have to
bring your own coal up from the cellar.
No, I'll do it. Let me mark my place"
So he marked the place in the book
at which he had ceased reading, and
when he had gone down cellar, grum-
bling all the way, she picked up the
volume, aud found it was a love story,
and that the passage that he had been
absorbed in was as follows:
my darling, when you r my wife
I will shield and protect you from
every care. The winds Of heaven shall
not visit your face too roughly; those
pretty hands shall never be soiled by
mental tasks; your wish shall be my
law; your happiness"
Just then he reappeared, and drop,
ping the scuttle upon the floor, said:
There's your coal, give me my
book."-Ex.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
COULDN'T SEE THROUGH IT.

There is a little girl living out on
Tilden avenue who is rapidly causing
her fathers hair to assume the color
of the driven snow.
The other day she looked up at him
from between his knees, and asked:
"Papa, was it a wise person who
said the good die young9'"
yea" said the musing man, Il
guess So"
"Well," she went on, after thinking
it over for some time, I'm not 80
much surprised about you; I don't see
how mamma ever managed to get
grown. "-Cleveland Leader.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

fore to Mrs. Crabtree, and after break
fast went into the library and spent a
half hour over the morning paper,
reading with especial interest Alder
man Moggerty's speech before the
council the night before in favor of
cutting down the police force in the
interests of economy. Then I went to
my Office. Here the first thing I did
was to send a note to the chief of po-
lice, short, and to the point, about as
follows
Dear Sir-Ih have one large, thick
set burglar stored in my china closet.
Please remove the same at the expense
Of the city Immediately.
"'Yours truly,
"tJ. A. CRABTREE,'
"When I went home at noon he was
gone. What do you think about the
latest phase of the Cuban question,
colonel 3"
"Hold on, judge" broke out Major
Dodge; finish your story before you
tackle the little matter of international
difficulties. Don't amputate the eli,
max"
Haven't 1 finished it Didn't I say
that when I got home the man was
cones Doyou think I followed up his
subsequent caree ! Col an idea that
I sent him flowers in jail and put him
on my calling list 2 Harboring the no.
ton that Iran down to Auburn prison
every visitors day, and had a fatherly
Cry on that scoundrel's neck for old
associations sake 3"
You miss the point, Judge" per,
sisted N jor Dodge. "DIck Bailey, of
Utica, told me the whole story, and if
you don't"
81 question the good taste of this,
Major" interrupted the Judge, with
feeling. "Only a life long friendship
saves you. I said that when I got
home the man was gone. He was
very much 30. But the fact is the mis-,
cradle wretch broke out after my de-
parture, inundated the woman and
children, locked them all in another
closet, and then calmly looted the
house, not missing my wife's j9wel
case, put his plumber in my best alli-
gator skin bag, and walked out the
front door, borrowing a light for one
of my cigars from the coming chief of
police at the corner, and made his es-
cape. I got an anonymous note from
him the next day, saying that if he ever
went into the junk business he would
call for the s~ilverware. And that
evening Moggerty got his pet scheme
through, reducing the police force one
half. "1Harper's Magazine.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
NRIGaBoRLINEss.

N~eighborliness is q term that means
80 much, when we live up to it. Kind
Illness to our neighbors and friends, a
CHEEKY word, the gladstone smile,
Sympathy in W and sorrow, social in
tercourse, a help each-other spirit
bow all this adds to the life of any
Aeighborhood.
Who is thy neighbori He whom thou
Has power to aid or blesa."-Ex.
mere is a FREELY in the Southern cline
Which lightens only when upon the
wing
"tis with the soul. When once we
rest we dRrken.
Phillip James Bailey.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
III

la little that I mind
Gow r6e blossoms pink and white,
a. every touch of wind,
Gall o trembling with delight;
For III the leafy lane,
Beneath the garden boughs,
And through the silent house
Que thing alone / seek.
Until she come again
TIE May is not the May,
And what she calls q week
Is forever and q dayl
II. B. Aldrich in Atlantic.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

WANTED-Trustworthy and active
gentlemen or ladies to travel for r.
snOnaible. established house in North
Carolina. Monthly sos 90 andexpensea.
Position steady. Reference. Enclosa
self addressed stamped envelope. The
DominionO Company, Dept. w. Chicago.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
FUN.

First chappie-I wonder, now, Chol-
lie, how the donkey aver came to be
used as the-er-emblem of stupidity.
Second chappie with a yawn)-
Don't know, I'm sure, deah boy; must
have been before our day.-BrookIyn
Life.
'Things do not seem to be equalizsd
in this life" complained the man with
one leg. 81 am at a disadvantage
when walking, and I secure no conces-
siona from my tailor because of having
but one leg."-New York World.
Mrs. Youngish-"Oh, Bobl what
shall I do9 Baby is crying because I
won't let him pull all the fur off my
new muf."
Mr. Youngish-"WelI, that's all
right. Give him the cat."-Tid Bits.
Madge-"I think Jack is going to
propose to me soon, mama"
Her mother-"Why do you that9'
Madge-"He took me out to look at
some tandem wheels last evening p
Philadelphia American.
Mebel-"Mr. Sweetser tells me 1 am
the only woman in the world he cares
anything about"
Edith suppose he doesn't class
May Golding among women. | know
he always calls her an angel."-Boston
Transcript.
"Where have you been9" inquired
the wife Of the man whose clothes were
torn and spagtered.
Making a few Investigations"
On What9"
bicycling"
You seem to have found the sub
ject interesting"
"Well, there's thing I will say.
1t was thorough. There was no qles
zion but that I covered the ground."-
Washington Star.
AS my wife and I, at the window one
day,
Stood watching a man with a
monkey,
A cart came by, with a ''broth Of a
Who vas driving a stout little
donkey.
To my wife I then spoke, by way of a
joke,
There's a relation of yours to that
To which she replied, as the donkey
she spied,
ooh, yes, a relation-by marriager"
Exchange.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
POETRY
N A DAY.

i H tbs bIackbird on the bough
+ filing all the air
5S2i,b his soft crescendo now;
WV" For she is gone away
And when she went she took
The springtime In her look,
The peachblow on her cheek,
Toe laughter from the brook,
The blue from out the May
And what she calls a week
Is forever and a dayl
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

Waterl'
so it is. SIR" replied one Of them
respectfully. "We were just scrub
bing the fl ,ors."-Ex,
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26
WATIT is

WANTED Five hundred new cub
scr1bers to enter our list during this.
week.
The PROGRESSIVE FAR1LGBs
Raleigh, n. O.,
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

The date Of the label on this paper
shows CheH yOWr subscription teas Ou8.
IS yours outs Then reaetC, please.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

Mrs. Youngish-'Oh, BobI what
shall I do8 Baby is crying because I
won't let him pull all the fur off my
new m1T -
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

Mr. Youngish-"WelI, that's all
right. Give him the cat."-Tid Bits.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-10-26

Madge-'I think Jack is going to
propose to me soon, mama"
Her mother-"Why do you that's"
Madge-"He took me out to look at
some tandem wheels last evening. p
Philadelphia American.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19
CONGRESSMAN MlLIKEN DEAD.


First Break in the NIaino Delegation
For Many Years.
Washington. April 19.-Seth l. Miui-
ken, representing i'm the house Of rep
resentatives the Third district Of
Maine. died last night at $3.50 o'clock.
For some time Mr.. Milnken has suffer-
ed from a serious affection of the
bronchial tubes, which refused to yield
to treatment Within a week more
alarming symptoms appeared, pneu-
monla setting in and kidney and liver
complications mOnifesting themselves.
The death of MIR. Milliken marks the
first break i'm the Maine delegation
that has occurred for a long time, and
removes a striking figure from the
house. During the recent Republican
congresses Mr.. NIillisen had been the
chairman Of the committee on public
buildings and grounds
Mr.. Millil5en was born at Montville.
Waldo county, Me, was educated at
Union college, New York, where he
graduated in 1856. Ee was q lawyer
by profession. and was a member of
the Maine legislature during two
terms. His congressional career began
with the Forty-eighth congress, and he
has served continuously ever since.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19
snnIdIng AeaIn arrested.

Chicago, April 19--Charles w. Spald-
ing, president Of the defunct Globe
Savings bank, was arrested Saturday
evening or charge of embezzlement
Of fur is of the University of Illinois,
OF wlilh he was treasurer. Spalding
was taken before Judge Dunno, and
subsequently released on bail. The
warrant was sworn out by George N.
Morgan, one of the alumni of the uni
verify. The complaint is based on the
altered embezzlement of 100000 of the
appropriations made by the legisla-
ture f-l the university.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

create his part of George Harris in
"Uncle Toms Cabin" at Barnum's
Museum. He remained with Mr. Bar
mum for three years, and then Joined
Laura Keene's stock company. Later
he played Shakespearean roles, and
made a pronounced success as julius
Caesar at Booths theater. In after
years he supported such stars as Char
lotte Cushman, Mary Anderson Mar
garet Mather, and more recently Julia
Marlowe He also played leads in a
number of BARLEY Campbelrs dramas.
His last public appearance was at the
Star theater four years ago. Thirty
four years ago Levick invested most
of his earnings in real estate in the
vicinity of Port Morris, N. j., and he
died rich.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

THE Bryan and Bailey factions of the
Democracy are continuing to make faces at
each other across the hall OF the House Of
Representatives at Washington The fol-
lowers Of Representative McMillin who
wanted to keep up the combination made
with the PopuHsts last fall and support the
sockless Simpson in his attacks upon Speaker
Reed, were mercilessly spanked by the
Baileyitcs in caucus the other day. The
Popuhst leader appealed to the Democrats
for their cooperation in his joust at spea ser
Reed, and a few Of the Bryan followers had
the temerity 10 respond to the call when
Speaker Bailey adjourned the Horse
called caucus in five minutes, aud after
reading the riot act to the Bryanites. vct ID
them down two to one and adopted resolu-
tion ordering them to dssist from further
cooperation with the Populists, at least i'm
the matter then under consideration
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

New York, April 19.-The body of
General Grant was removed Saturday
afternoon from the temporary tomb
which has sheltered it for nearly u
years to the imposing mausoleum
which is destined to be its permanent
resting place. There was no elaborate
ceremonial and beyond the attendance
of a guard of honor the removal was
accomplished without special incident.
The interest of the public In the event
was attested by the presence of sew
eral thousand people. although the
hour for the removal had not been pre-
viously announced.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

st. Paul April 1o.-THHlm Daw-
SON Sr. president, and Robert L.
Miller, assis ant cashier of the de-
funct Bank of Minnesota, whose fail
ure precipitated the banking tr, ubles
here last winter were arrested last
night on warrants sworn out by Jere-
miah o. Brien and DGn,el BAH, depos-
itors of the bank. Mr.. Dawson is
charged with grand laccny of Sg7 600,
in that he had borrowed from the
bank in excess of the amount allowed
by law, and hIr. Miller is charged with
receiving q deposit of 81 900 after he
knew the bank to be insolvent. Both
gave bail.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

Chicago, april 19.-The Illinois Steel
company has received through The
Russian minister at Washington a
proposition looking to the cOllpanys
bidding on the armor plate for two
Russian war1Lips. The contract is to
be for 5000 tons, which in case Of
award to the Chicago concern would
turn into its treasury in the neighbor-
hood Of $300o 600. 1t is said the offer
of the Illinois Steel company to furnish
the United States government with
armor plate at the remarkably low fig
ure Of 500 a ton has startled war de-
partments the world over
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

Mr.. James jones' of the drug firm of Jones
4 Son Cowden, H., in speaking of DR.. Kings
New Discovery, says that last winter his wife
was attacked with La Grippe, and her case
grew so serious that physicians at Cowdon
lud Pana could do nothing for her. Itseemed
to develop into Hasty Consumption. Having
DR.. Kings New Discovery in store, and sell
ing lots of it, he took bottle home, and to
the sur rise Of all she began to get better
from f-st dose, and half dozen dollar bot
ties cured her sound and we'll. DR.. Kings
New Discovery for Consumption Coughs and
Colds IS guaranteed to do this good work
Try it. Free trial bottles at A. Wasleys
drug store.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

Frankfort, KY, April 19-Dr Hunt
er, the senatorial candidate, who on
Saturday was indicted on a charge of
conspiracy to bribe, declines to discuss
the recent developments or to say
what are his plans. Many Of his
friends are urging him to demand an
immediate trial, and that he stay in
the race at least until he is vindicated,
as they do not believe there is any
danger that the indictment viii stand
the test of scrutiny Others, however,
declare that any jury that might be
secured in Franklin county would be
prejudiced against Hunter, and that
he should let the matter go over until
September. There is still a good deal
of talk about u aew caucus, but Hunt
er's personal friends are not among
those who are indulging in it.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

As might have been expected newspapers
Of other states will express surprise, and
some Of them will indulge in much
ridicule, says the Philadelphia Star at the
idea Of erecting state capitol to cost only
$500 600. What makes it appear ridiculous
to some Of these people is that the little state
Of Rhode Island, with a territory not bigger
than three Of our Eastern counties, is erect
ing state capitol that is to cost $1,000, 900.
While our state building will, in point Of
cost, be a mere bagatelle to little Rhody, yet
for half million we ought to be able to put
up structure large enough to contain all our
legislators, judging from the size of some of
them, mentally and otherwise.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

THE Board Of Health Of Philadelphia
would like to have any person who eXpector-
ates in a street car arrested and fined S.. All
will agree that splitting in the street cars is a
filthy and unwholesome practice-that no
gentleman will intentionally indulge in it
but there are times when expectoration be-
comes an imperative necessity, and when it is
impossible for the party upon whom the stress
is laid TO relieve himself other than where he
may chance to be in the car This subject is
worthy Of an exhaustive legal opinion even
from the rhetorician of the local Board.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19

Dauntless, which was released by or
der of the United States court on
Saturday started down the river yes
terday afternoon, and was halted by
the dynamite cruiser VesuVius. A
search was made, but nothing being
found the Dauntless was allowed to
proceed She win do towing at the
bar, and has gone down to meet some
schooner Captain Kilgore, of the cut
ter Boutwell,, has orders to follow the
Dauntless wherever she shall cross the
bar, this being intended to prevent a
possible hlibustering trip, although the
Dauntless could easily give the Bout
well the slip If desired.
The evening herald. [volume] (Shenandoah, Pa.) 1891-1966, 1897-04-19
IN NICK OF TIME.
A Scranton Citizen Is Fortunate--A
Point of Public interest.

In every day life we will do things in
Nick Of time" OF course these marrow
shaves" don't tend to lengthen life, and still
its better that way than to fail Our repre-
sentative called at No. 2l1 Mihlin avenue,
Scranton, and Mrs. NJ. l.. Wolfe, who resides
there told him in the course of conversation
that she has been suffering from kidney
complaint, taking the form Of sharp piercing
pains in the back, shooting like knife
thrust in the small of the back when ever
she stopped over or lifted anything. Some
times it was only catch, as IL were, that
lasted for minute then there were head
aches that were very severe Urinary
trouble existed as we'll, and it was necessary
ON this account to rise during the night, thus
breaking the natural rest; the symptoms
when in a moderate way might be called
kidney auuoyancos but if they are neglected
for any length of time the consequences
assume serious nature This is demonstrated
in the case Of Mrs Wolfe for her heart
became affected and did not act properly.
Kidney troubles produce dropsy, Brights
disease diabetes aud many other complica-
tions dropsical conditions produce pressure
on the heart from the unnatural accumula-
tions of water aud everyone knows that
when the hearts action is interfered with It's
a serious matter. So thought Mrs Wolfe,
and hearing Of the little wonder worker 4"
Doan's Kidney Pills she began taking them,
and Just in the nick of time to j" The
results obtained from Doans Kidney Pills
were just the same as everywhere they have
been used. Mrs. Wolfe says the pain, trouble
and annoyauccs have entirely left her and
she is pleased to inform others what to use
for kidney disorders
Deans Kidney Pills are sold by all dealers
Price so cents per box or 9 boxes for $3.50.
Sent by mail on receipt of price, Foster
Milhum Co., Buffalo, N y, sole agents for
the L. s.