Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1897-10-09
is LIFE WORTH LIVING?
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TN the columns of first-rate news
| paper printed in this city appeared
n few days ago long earnest article OF
the question rs Life Worth Living?'
and great many of the persons whose
views helped to make up the newspa
per STORY" wrote in pessmistic way
as though they wished Death could get
some of the Star Pointer strain into his
pale horse, so that he might rush along
IA little faster and relieve them of earth.
Iy tribulations. That their troubles
weighed down very heavily these
sharers in the symposium allowed tc
be known, and they did not feel like
bracing up and trying it over. They
alluded to the luck which had Klon-
diked others and had given themselves
nothing but the Chilkoot pass. They
talked of poverty, disease and lack of
employment, and in general painted
things with the hue of indigo.
Certainly it does take pluck to enable
one to forget past woes and to hustle
on and make future benefactions of
them. But it can be done. Level-head-
ed philosophy will find something good
even in the vermiform appendix, which
physicians pronounce the most
useless and mischievous thing
short of a bicycle scorcher. And,
indeed, speaking of the vermiform ap-
pendix in this connection serves to
bring to attention-as proof-the case
of a Chicago man named Maggles. 1t
is always well to have confederation
handy.
Maggles is a solicitor of subscriptions,
sand is employed by the management of
IA machinists' publication called Pumps
and Cogs, a journal devoted to ma
'chinery, and as dry and uninteresting
TO the average person as punk. And
yet Maggles makes from $3.50 to SAC
q day in persuading hotel clerks and
lawyers and restaurant keepers and
clothiers and others to subscribe for
his little paper with it's portrait of the
discoverer of new eccentric shafting
Oh the front cover.
1t is all owing to his vermiform APP
pendix. Snatching happiness out of the
jaws of misery, Maggles causes his
old, trouble-breeding appendix to
bring in subscribers in waves, like pros
perity.
year ago Maggles found there was
something wrong with his own physical
running gear, so he went to a hos
pital and learned that, as he certainly
did not have grip or consumption or
smallpox, he must have appendicitis.
That was the time when appendicitis
was being had by almost everybody
and was holding popular attention. Ut
ran its course in public esteem and
then gave way to airships) Maggles
had it in such way that the surgeon
chuckled in grewsome glee and told
him they would have to open him like
pocketbook and remove the useless
little contraption-and they did it, too.
1t was long siege, and Maggles left
the hospital away in debt and out of
employment, and, indeed, under such
circumstances as to make the world
seem rather bleak to his view. But
In his hour of darkest woe he was a care
full, long-headed man. He preserved
the miserable little cause of his ill. A
Aess thrifty person would not think of
saving such a reminder of days of pain
and grief, but Maggles knew his busi-
ness.
1t would be wasteful of words to at
tempt to draw picture of Maggles'
hard chase for Job; but, bitter as was
his experience, one thing buoyed him up
possession of the little, white, leech-
like torturer in the small bottle of al
cohol, and at last he obtained place
on the Pumps and Gogs paper. Then
fortune smiled.
The man who publishes the paper
had no thought of Maggles making
more than rs cents day in commits
'sions, and when the new solicitor turned
In reports showing himself to be en-
titled to $12, the publisher doubted their
authenticity. But Maggles turned over
the cash to prove the worth of the sig
natures, and the Pumps and Cogs man
went into dreams of joy. Thenext day
-Maggles appeared with orders and cash
'approXimating $50, and on the third
day his own commission was $17.45.
Then the editor begged for an explana-
Aion.
you're a wonder" he said, " and |
just want to know how you do it,"
"Well, I'll tell you," said Maggles.
"its an easy thing, and if l didn't have
a monopoly l wouldn't give it away.
Now, tomorrow you arrange to call at
johnson d Jones' law office, in the Cham
her of Commerce building. BE there at
ten o'clock. Have any old excuse and
Nsait for me and you'll see how it is."
SO the Pumps and Cogs man went
Gfound to the Chamber of Commerce
Auildiag the next day and waited in the