Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-07-24
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res, her looks favot her mother |
people" "lndeedT' "Oh. greatly. |
She doesn't look u bit like them."--De.
.roit Journal. -.t ,..
Ge-"My darling. always feel like
taking of my shoes when enter your
sacred presence" She-"Well. l would
rather you id it now that after we are
married. Life.
"Odr landlady likes to have tl,eatri.
cal r,op.e come to stay with u.s."
why "Shc says the rest of us stare
At them so hard that we forget to eat"
Detroit Free Press.
Close Together.-Nell--Do you think
there is anything between them? Belle
i dou't know. There wasn't when
looked in at the parlor door last night.
-Someryille Journal.
Doesn't 1t make you sad when you
thank Of the poori'' why. no. not
particularly. 1t makes me mad,
though. when thin!; of the rich."-
Indianapolis Journal.
Yes" she replied. II suppose I'm
srperstitlous. but | prefer not to mar.
ry. | don't care to trust my happiness
TO thirteen men. Eli; OH. husband
and jury. to lie sure."--rruth.
us your flying machine success?'
"unquestionably." replied the enthu.
tiast. Have you made trip with
III" mo. hut I've sold several shares
of stock. Plaindealer.
IL heard you fought duel with
rarkcrf' Il did" Weren't you
afraid 10 stand up before Il loaded pts.
toly'' Not with Parker holding IT,
I'm insured in his company. "-Tit-Bits.
Have you any clew to the assail.
anti' asked the court. We'll" replied
Sherlock Holmes. II think he must
have been a Greek. AS l approached
he an."-Philadelphia North Ameri.
can.
Martha, listen: there's a new ma.
chine invented that records the nc.
ton )f the brain" well, you needn't
fool any money away OH one; 4
wouidn'. earn its salt."-Detroit Free
Press.
II wish you would make picture OF
the Sultan of Turkey for to-morrow's
paper" II am afraid have no photo.
graph sir" What of that? You
know how to draw a fcz. don't your.
Puck
New Servant-I forrd this coin upon
your desk. sir Mastcr--rm glad you
are honest. put It there purposely I'd
test your honesty. New Servant.
That's what thought.-Fliegcnde
Batter.
. Frcddy-Why do they call the end OF
n college education commencement, pa.
pa? Papa ecausc. my son, that Is
the point ut which young man COM
mences to learn.-New York CONNER
ciaI Advertiser.
She-I,'s too bad your wife has been
sick so long. lIe-Yes; suppose tina,
the doctors bill amounts to three times
rs much now as the undertakcrs
charges would have amounted to-
Cleveland Leader.
"They always talk about the sever
ages OF man." said the Curious One
"Why not the seven ages of woman
Because. my boy" replied the Know
ing Ono. zone Il enough for them."-
Cincinnati Tribune.
In order not to be an exception to til,
rule, Gulbollard ran down his mother
in-law. Briefly. what have you agains
her?' asked his friend. impatjently
Her daughter" was the laconlc reply
-I.Illustre lie Pochc.
"Yes," said the young wife, sadly, "I
am satisfied that lie doesn't love M
any more" Isn't 1t strange to ilnt
satisfaction In anything like that|
asked her dearest girl fricnd.-Pltts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
I.lgh,love--At last. dear Sophia. w
are alone. and can tell you that
To- Sophia--Oh, please, no-Mr
LightIovc, don't tell me here. Light
love-WEy not? There are no witness
es Sophia-That's Just it.-Chips.
Tourist lin Jersey. apprehensively)-
How about the Jersey mosquitoes
Don't you lind them pretty vicious ere
atur.sY Jersey Native (ndifferently)-
Not at all! Not at all! Why. they'l
eat right out Of your hand!-Puck.
John, this Is a very bad report vol
bring me from school," John--I know
father; but you know you said II
brought home a first-class report yo'
would give me 81 and l wanted to saw
YOU that expense.-Boston Traveller.
"I," the witness testified, would no
believe him under oath. "Eh" salt
the Judge In surprise ut hearing q lead
ing citizen 50 fiouted. "Oh. fur as tina
goes. l wouldn't believe nobody. an
an ssor."-IndianapOlis Journal.
Jack Wyld-That young Slmperl
sccms such q fragile fellow l shoul'
hesitate TO touch him. Cor fear he woul
break. Tom Fax lwho has had eXpe
rienccl-He wouldn'. hesitate abou
touching you, II he was broke.--PucL
Poor Mrs. Jaysmith" exclaimed
Mrs. Gargoyie. Her husband mus
treat her shamefully." what make
you say that;' asked Mrs. Grummey
''she never complains II know II
That's what makes me suspicious
Life.
Tie member Of the firm pressed hi
hand to his heart. Il love you madly!
he exclaimed. u love but you! ] hav,
never loved before The typewrlte
inclined her head. Every WELL" she re
piled. more than one copy, s!r"-De
troit Journal
S,rnnoer latter m examinations