Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1897-12-16

Fruit is not fit to eat anyway until
it begins to decay, or to get ripe, as
they call it.
Eat meat that is fat if you want to
enjoy life.
If the baby is puny and scrawny and
has pains or aches, give it fat meat,
Hog meat, if you please. If you are
going to the North Pole, take grease
and tea along. Hyou are going TO live
under the Equator, abjure fruits and
vegetables as you would a diet Of
thousand-legged worms.
The fatter the meat the less Of it you
have to eat and the less load you have
to carry.
Milk is noy<t to drink when the
grease is skinned from it.
Fish are good because they are full
of oil.
No man who lives on meat was ever
known to lick his wife or ask for a di-
vorce. Adam got into a row right Oft
because he had not hog meat, butter or
black bass. Napoleon lost Waterloo
because the allied force had bacon for
breakfast the morning of the fight.
The French had vegetable soup. The
South had to give in at Appomattox
because they were out of meat. No
war can be successfully waged without
hog meat. If the Mikado of Japan
wants his people grow bigger, all he
has to do is to feed them grease, and
lots of it.
Steamboats,, railways or bicycles can
not be run without grease, nothing
goes without grease.
Doctors tell us to eat fruit and keep
quiet, during the dog days. Our notion
is to eat beef, mutton, poultry, fish and
hog meat, and get around lively. If
you follow the doctors you will be dead
before cold weather. If you eat meat
spread the butter on thick, and drink
cream you will live to plant all the
doctors.
1t is the oil in whiskey that causes
men to drink it.
Americans are the most frisky people
on earth, because they eat the most
hog meat.
When Christ fed the multitude he
gave them fish and bread. When the
Lord fed the children Of Israel in the
desert He gave them oil cakes and
quail on toast ; and when He went to
punish King Nebuchadnezzar he
turned him out to eat green things,
ike a sheep or billy goat. The eagle
that scars, The lion that roars, the
mockingbird that sings, live on meat.
Patti eats half pound Of Frankfurter
dab sausage at breakfast. Grant ate
bacon and fried his hardtack in the
grease when he had big fight on
hand.
Shakespeare ate mutton chops and
drank Scotch whiskey. Byron wrote
best on ham and Holland gin, while
Mckinley and Tom Reed eat meat or
fish three times day. ingalls, would
have gone back to the Senate had he
not lived on oatmeal, baked apples
and blind robins
a vegetable diet woman is as cold
and clammy and unlovable as turnip.
If you wish to put roses in the cheeks
of your girls, vitality il their every
motion and brains in their heads, feed
them meat.
If you want your boy to get job
and hold it, go to the front and amount
to something, give him bacon grease,
ham fat and tallow three times a day.
The world Is full Of cranks, who are
always getting up some new fad about
hay soup and cOrn-fOdder tea.
Scientists tell US that if we eat beef
we think; that animal food makes US
brutal and bloodthirsty. That is not
always true. 1t Is the fellow whose
stomach is filed with oats, corn, Gu
cumbers and other stock feed that
wants to kill somebody. Admitting
that if you eat hog you think hog,
there is no question about hogs getting
there, when there is anything or any
where to get besides. some hogs know
more than some people.
Boss Leland lives on beef, bacon and
pie, and drinks apPlejack; and, of
course, he gets what he goes after.
Pie, with grease in the crust, butter
in the film and cream all over it IS
the American ideal. Think Of pie with