New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-10-21
TIE TALK or THE Ddf'

Funeral Director Ito gentleman)-Are you one OF
the mourners?
Genteman--Yes; he owed me $500.
The Professionalism guaranteed NJ o'u'
Tailor-1 did; ,,.os. .o,h..
S bourne me W zee x; Tines Tine ''' WHICH, '
A man who re .eiyed bill for a book that he had
recollection CT having ordered. sent the toiow
ing answer: II never ordered the BOOK IL go.
you did rot send fl. II got 1t. paid for 1t. II
didn't. won't"
An Instanse::,-"Merc knowledge" said the prosy
Now you hi, it that time said the listening nha;
are eSactly the correct thing in Clothes but aint
able to buy 'em'-tCineinna,i Enquirer
Apropos of a paragraph the other day about sus'
gcstive names. correspondent calls attention 10
the fac, that a worthy undertaken in Jersey City
bears the OF S.if.
What 4: wanied.-"Have you read The Choir
Nc, VIA! want to learn about is The Choir
lnaudib. e. "-ocbicaso News.
paw" said a little Indiana polls boy reported BY
THE Journal what is enemy of society,"
WELL" replied paw amy sensible married
man is an enemy to socicty.' his wife under
stands the word"
Lots o: Recreation Time. THAT pretty Miss
Iood,ll /, always talking about her fathers vaca-
tons What uocs she mean
does awning 6atwee. can,palsns." -tCievcian
Plain Dealer
III the court please" said the eloquent attorney
Tor The defendant reported BY The Cincinnati
Enquirer" this reptile Is clearly Thar OF high
degree. He claims that he assaulted In my
clients saloon thrown into the street and his ~
ha, thrown after him. | bring OF Wit
nesses who will swear that II the villain had been
assaulted described my client would EaYe kept
the hat"
Fast Fast Friends .Mariha--Do you believe that
rm V very ISL sure H sn aye so' 10 say sue" "s'
Martha-Iiow do you know: T..
Janc-I with her when she bought It,
0iaulo...
For my part" said Colonel r. q. Ingcrso the
other day. Il envy the man who has lived on the
same broad acres from his boyhood. who cultivates
the fields where In youth he played and lives where
his father lived and died. can imagine no sweeter
way end ones life than In the quiet OF the coun-
try. out OF the mad for money. place and
power"
"Of course" said one old farmer the other.
your boy is learnin Latin and Creek at college,
but i he gettin' anything PRACTICAL.
he is taking lessons In fencin'."-(Detroi. Free
Press.
4 number OF farmers in Alabama have pledged
themselves TO SOW from 1--WE to twenty bushels OF
wheat this fall. This Is movement says THE
Atlanta Constitution" which II persisted In. will
emancpate pockets from the necessity Of pay
ing tribute to the West and our stomachs from the
THOUSAND and brands Of patent flour. In which
the essence OF the wheat has either Eecn wholly
destroyed or substituted for kaolin or some other
mixture Of equal weight and hneness"
You nice little boy" said the kindly old
gentleman at the hotel.
Thank you" said Ton,mle
'lIave you any little brothersT
Yes" said Tomme; i've got brothers TO burn.
but I'm rather short on papas We've only got
che Ha rper's Bazaar.
Suppose. my dear children" said Sunday
school teacher according TO 1.-The Cleveland Plain
Dealer" that you went up 10 the great marble
entrance and you found Il closed. and you ratified
on H. and called to them 20 let you In, and there
was no reply? Oh. my dear children. what would
you do them"
Little Jane-Please teacher. I'd take my pail. an
go round 10 the side door and knock there three
times like papa does every Sunday.
In the city OF p. a few nights ago. woman
girls. a woman of deeds. not words. received the
following communication:
Dear Sister in Christ:
Please give TIE bearer yonf motherly care and
shelter. You viii And this Girl mos. wonderfully
saved and completely filled with the spirit. Yours
i'm Christ Mrs. M
ma ron went donn to the recep,on-room OF the
home and tound-not TO her great surprtse-that
tho cir. utterly thless and too intoxicated
10 speak distinctly Her reply 10 the note was brief
and to the point:
Dear Mrs. NJ -
II fird this wonderfully saved sirl TOO completely
hlled with the spirit 10 suit me, and return her
with thanks. Sincerely. -- -.
fudge.