Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1897-02-25
THEY ABDUCTED THE BAND.
And Spoiled the Dance Given by
the Rival Set

The returned Cow Puncher set down
his cup of black coffee after he had
taken the first sip, and pursed up his
mouth into an expression of scorn-
'Slop," he said, briefly.
The Poet made gesture of protest.
"Oh, dare say it's strong enough for
you'll" said the Cow Puncher.
"What?"
THE coffee"
ut was your expression TO which
objected"
"When said the stuff was"
Spare us repetitionl" interrupted
the Poet.
We'll, suppose my imagery is rath-
er too epic for you. Sowould the coffee
be that 1 had in mind-I wish had it
in this cup as welll-when 1 spoke.
U-m-ml" And the Cow Puncher closed
mis- eyes with the look of satisfied
cpicure. "They call this stuff Slack
coffee" he went on, rousing himself.
about black enough for the second or
third year of widowhood, should say.
You ought to taste the coffee we used
10 have down in Texas! 1t was so
strong that it ate the enamel off the
cups"
That's some more of your epic I'm
ngery," laughed the Boys Own Story
Writer.
Pretty strong coffee, evidently" re-
marked the Poet, "but it doesn't seem
10 have been able to affect brass"
The Cow Puncher carelessly knocked
the ashes from the end of his cigarette
and regarded the Poet out of the tail
of his eye, but "TeXas is q great state"
was all that he said.
at was two years ago." he resumed,
after pause, chat we gave our famous
dance, upon which glorious occasion
we eyerlastingly scooped the rival COW
boys at the other end Of the town."
81 thought you lived ON Il ranch" in-
terposed the Poet, with deep suspicion,
Did you think L spent three yenrs
out there and saw only one view? But
then you don't understand the lives of
men of action, I suppose, and 1 mustn't
be too hard on you"
"About that dancer" asked the Boys
Own.
"Ah, that was a great evept!" ex-
claimed the Cow Puncher, lighting
fresh cigarette. GYou see, the idea
originated with OUT end of the town,
and naturally we felt that we had q
right to It. Anybody would have felt
so. Anybody, that is, except our deadly
rivals. No sooner had the news of our
scheme got out than they began to lay
their plans for howdy-do, and on the
same night as ours, mind you'll"
"What difference did that make2"
growled the Poet.
"Well, it made just this difference'
There wasn't room in that town for two
balls, and everybody knew it. 1t lay
between US TO get the crowd. We
couldn't both get it, and neither OF us
could get half a crowd. Things don't
go that way out there Everybody goes
to the place that puts up the best show
and the other one doesn't have q cor
poral's guard. We knew this, so we had
taken care to engage the only music
in the iowa before we let word OF our
ulans get out. This music consisted
of q fiddle (cracked) played by fiddler
(who was also cracked), seconded by a
wheezy melodeon which had o way OF
going off into fit of gasps when you
were most depending on 1t.
at was a great thing for US to have
secured the music, because that, we
knew, would prove terrible handicap
to our rivals. They wouldn't be able
to put up anything better than one OF
their own men who played the mouth
organ, and didn't amount to much even
at that, inasmuch as he had only enc
lung. We felt pretty jubilapt, / tell
YOU; and the other fellows looked cor
respondingly blue. But that didn't last
long. One day we heard q startling
runor. We could scarcely believe our
senses, but ample proof was soon fur
Dished US that the dreadful tale was
true. Our rivals had hired q Mexican
band from town about 80 miles away!
'sThat settled our cakel We held a
consultation at once and canvassed the
possibilities, but we had to admit that
they were as good as hopeless. We I'm
mediately enlarged the scope OF the sup
Der we had promised. OF course there
was to have been black coffee-that was
what reminded me Of the dance-and
whisky and various other things, and
we promptly sent out an emissary to
spread the news in the town that oqf
eating programme had been doubled
All the time, though, we knew 1t was
forlorn hope.
"You see, It was this. way: The
feminine element of our community
was limited. Partners were ct
premium, even If every woman in the
place turned out, and where the women
went, there you could be dead sure the
men would go, too. Well, the womer
wouldn't hesitate a minute If it came
to a choice between q little better sup
per and good deal better MUSIC. w
knew that, and we felt as If we NIGH
as we'll lay our hands down and give VI
The game. There was fellow there
from kentucky, though, and the day
after the announcement Of the import
ed band same out he strolled In at sup
rcr time and threw his hat into th
corner with one of his most effectiv'
blue-glass-country salutes. We re
turned the compliments Of the evening
and he sat down at the table.
flows the PATTY comm on% h
asked.
I'VE groaned.
oh he said, you all amt got nnoh'l
enough ingenuity to suhcomveDt
littenI IL one o. You gentlemen II b