Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-08-12

jssts and Yarns Made and Told by Funn
Men OF the Press.

jssts and Yarns Made and Told by Funn
Men Of the Prsss.
TUNNEL IN. OTHER oHgEK-
kissed her lightly on the cheek.
Her face blazed up as could sec;
thought In scathing terms she'd speak
She turned the other cheek to me!
SO FAR AND YET so NEAR
s'Can you tell me how far 1t is to Mug
gleton?"
well, the way you're going it's about
$4,000 miles"
NOT HER OWN.
Mrs. Nutte-Don't you think there is
noticeable improvement in my appear
ance?
Nutte--Ye-es; but fear it's patented.
ONE CASE WHERE IT DOES.
Optimus--I don't think that the world
is always willing to believe the worst
about man.
Pessimus-Get black eye and see.
GENTLE HINT.
Mr.. Kashbocks-- money is lot Of
trouble to me.
Miss Wayting-T say every man
ought to have some woman to share his
troubles.
SWITCHING HIM OFF.
Mrs. Youngish-Oh. Bob what shall
do? Baby is crying because l won't let
him pull all the fur off my new muff.
Mr.. Youngish-Wel, that's all right.
Give him the cat.
THE TEMPTATION TOO GREAT.
Elen-Why don't you put couple of
oysters on those black eyes o. yourn?
Tom Il did, tried it tweed, but some
how can't never get them no furder up
than my mout.
NOT A SENSITIVE PLANT.
"What is hardy rose bush."
at Is one that doesn't mind your wife
pulling it up by the roots every few days
10 see If it has begun to grow yet"
RECIPE.
Dck-One is so apt to lose sight of
ones friends.
Harry-Thats not necessary. Mine
Dick How do you manage it?
Harry-Oh, borrow money of them.
MODERN sCnRHEREZADE.
Mrs. Meeker," observed a friend of
She can converse intelligently. / believe,
on thousand different topics"
YES" sighed Mr.. Meeker, land she
does"
DECIDED HINT.
Mother What in the world ever pos
sessed you to give Mr.. Bingo shaving
set?
Daughter-He never seems to realize
how tender my facets
HIS TOOLS.
Monte They found nothing on that
dead cashier in Canada but a cake OF soap.
Laura-Thats probably what he cleaned
up the bank with.
KNEW THEIR DUTY.
''How did the passengers behave after
it was discovered that the vessel was on
fire.
admirably! They got the panic
stricken crew into the boats and then
subdued the flames"
ARrFUL AUDAoITY.
80 Boracks is going to marry that
aged Mum girl is he'"
''Yes, and the funny part of it is that
Inc told her lie wanted to marry her on
account of her fortune
''Eh z"
IIa tnll ha- oha
foolish to have the care of so .1nch
money"
SOME EXCUSE.
Blinks- "The paper says the Car is a
very illiterate man..
Winks-''Not up in the classics. eh?"
Blinks--"Worse. They say bis letters
are full of errors in photography"
Winks-''But, my dear sir, just think.
He has to spell in Russian"
1T seems to me" said tn living skele
ton. as he reached for the pla te of beef
steak, ''that your business is falling off,
80 is yours" Kissed the manager, as
he quickly removed the dish from the
table, land you'd better be doing it,"
HAD NEARD 1T BEFORE.
lie arrived home at 3 A. NJ. and told his
wife that he had been sitting up with
sick friend.
''Do you expect me to believe tbat?"
she inquired.
''lDo you think | would tell bare
faced lie" he asked, with an injured air.
Certainly not" said she. That one
Is so old it has whiskers."
APuIpit In the Air.