Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-04-21
aVausiae Gatherings.

OF ueT own eouoll, thho PoiSoS ASNSS--'
p6 If what is said be not to the pur-
pose, a single word is already too much.
p@- During the year 1897 there will
be no eclipse of the moon, very
unusal thing.
s1 Teacher Gn mineralogy Glass;
Johnnie, give me the name of the larg-
est diamond. Johnnie-The ace.
p6r "Faith," said the little boy, after
a weeks study, "faith is believing
something that you know can't be
true"
p9 Mr.. Newwed- seems to me,
my angel, this hash has queer taste.
Young Wife-Hash ? That's fruit
cake.
@ A man who will deny his old
mother, has no reason to complain if
people believe him capable of almost
any crime.
s8- The only states in which capital
punishment is forbidden by law are
Michigan, Wisconsin, Colorado, Rhode
Island and Maine.
pI Doctor-My good woman, does
you son stutter all the time? Parent
Not all the time, sir. Only when he
attempts to talk.
p@ The wonderful progress made in
surgery is shown from the fact that
only nine per cent. of all operations in
lamputatiOn are fatal.
p8 Don't set rheumatism trap by
going around in your shirtsleeves these
raw spring days, just to show how
much you can stand.
a4r Teacher-What is synonym ?
Boy-It's word you can use in the
place of another when you don't know
how TO spell the other one.
p4 A note of the Bank of England,
twisted into a kind of rope, can sus-
pend as much as 329 pounds upon one
end of it and not be injured.
s6- Let young men make themselves
ready for positions of trust, and they
will be called to the position at the
right time. Gods clock is never too
slow.
p% Baron Anderson, on being asked
to give his opinion rs to the proper
length of sermon, replied, "Twenty
minutes-with a leaning to the side of
mercy"
n9- "Did you ever find woman's
letter in your husbands pocket?'
ayes, I found one of my own there the
other day that I gave him to mail a
week ago."
s~ Perhaps your neighbor is too
polite to tell you so, but still he does
not like to loan you his paper. Sub.
scribe for it yourself, and you will
never regret it.
H9 An old woman, quite repellent,
comes in. "Do you think you can find
husband for me ?" she asks. "Per-
haps-if some blind man comes in"
says the agent.
pd- Said the preacher, "You are
commanded to love your neighbor as
yourself" "Good gracious! as much
as that ?" exclaimed the honest man
of the congregation.
p9 A representative of one of the
largest berry-box manufacturing es-
Establishment says that they make sew
teen different sizes of quarts, of which
only two will hold quart.
H9. An astute little boy was asked
the other day what was meant by ''sins
of omission ?" and he responded, with
out any pause or hesitation, "The sins
we have forgotten to commit"
p4- Blotting paper was first made
in this country about 40 years ago.
Before that time our supply came from
England, and great many people
used sand to absorb the ink on their
manuscripts.
s@ "What is your new painting
called ?" "The Cleaner" "Ah, a
young girl with a sickle and bundle
of grain ?" "No an elderly girl with
a fiat pocketbook and an armful of
bargain drygoods."
pD- The correct observation has been
made that, as a rule, it is not the poor
who practice small economies. If
they had the will and the skill to make
the most of what the have, they would
soon rise from their low estate.
.W There were IS postmasters in
this country, and the expenses of the
department were but S32, 900 year in
Washington's administration; and
there are now over 10000 postmasters,
and the service costs $92, 100000 a
year.
H4- In Sacramento is a schoolboy
who with ease commits to memory
long and difficult lessons, sometimes
learning passages of history fully 500
words in length. But the next day he
loses all recollection of the previous
days requirements.
s6 "It's real mean !" the young wo-
man exclaimed. "What is the mat
ter her mother inquired. "Before l
married Herbert I made him promise
to pass every evening at home with
me, and now he says he's sorry, but
he can't take me to the theatre with
out breaking his word"
p@ "Are you going to make flow
er-bed here ?" said the Brooklyn girl
to her fathers gardner. eyes, miss,
them's the orders" "Why, it'll spoil
our tennis grounds!" "Can't help it
miss. Your pa says he's bound to
have this plot laid out for horticulture,
not husbandry."
s@~ "suppose," suggested the teach
er, "that you take piece of beef
steak and cut it into halves, then cut