The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-07-30
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''Ht onOulu DTf
1t little over two feet.-Life
AT le''s,, Cholie knows how 70 dra..
His attire is rich, but simple go e.
Chollie. indianapolis Journal
She-Don't you think IT ls alwovsd,,
ficult to tell woman's age? He-sbe
always acts as If 1t was.-Richmond
Dispatch.
She-And there are never anv main
full silences AT stag party. sunnose,
He-Oh. mol Silence isn't nainfnI 70
man.-Puck.
you good-for-nothlng loafer, Didn't
you tell me you were a hard worker,,,
well, It amt easy for me to work.
Detroit News.
"Are you going abroad this SUMNER
81 don't know. Papa is in Washington
seeing Mr.. Mckinley about Il now
CleN Gland Plaiucealer.
How dreadful stout the general is
gettingr Eyes; isn't It fortunateY
Otherwise he wouldn't be able to wear
all his medals.
81 can't see why they speak of the
wisdom of the serpent" ''Well. you
never heard Of serpent getting his
leg pulled, did you?"-Truth.
she-Do you think | would marry a
man who has no money? He-Wen
| didn't know but you wanted to get
married.-Detrcit Free I'ress
Charley. why is that Miss silly al.
ways dragging her poodle around with
her" Because the pup can't break
the chain. Detroit Free Press.
BE your own judge, Chumley. but
can you show me one thing about Miss
Richly that makes her attractive?"
"No, it's in the bank" Detroit Free
Press.
Don't cry" he entreated. Then he
perceived that her handkerchief was
edged with the most exquisite lace.
Don't weep" he said. correcting him.
SELF Detroit Journal
what became of that Samuels girl
that Pottersby was tirGng with last
summer" "You mean fhe girl that
Pottersby thought he was flirting wthl
She married him."-Tit-B.ts.
McGlnnis-I can't understand why II
is that people joke about actors being
half starved. Swatty-Why? McGin-
nis-Just think how many roasts they
get.-Philadelphia North American.
Il am going to do something in the
literary line which will take better
than Scotch dialect" remarked Mr..
Trechant Penn. what is lt?" Il am
going to write story in baby talk
Bazaar.
First Burglar-Lord. Bill! dis adver-
tisement wouldn't fool nobody. Sec
ond Burglar-Wot is it? First Burglar
Fifty dollars reward an no ques-
lions assigned by woman.-Leslie's
Weekly.
Alethea-Won't Miss Henriques' BIZ
cycle tea be unique: The illumination
is to be wholly furnished by cycle
lamps. Alberta--I wonder how she
will manage to keep them hghted!-
Puck.
Con vivial-Doctor, my wife suffers
greatly from insomnia. Physician-ln-
somnia? How do you know? Con WV
ial-Why. every time l come home at
or 3 o'clock in the morning, | always
find her wide-awake.-Puck.
Mr.. Park Plaza-What hospitable
persons suburbanites arel They are
always inviting a person out to stay
over Sunday. Mr.. Chilly (grimly)-
Yes; and then trying to sell their place
to Won before YOU leave for the city,
Puck.
Gibbs-How did Differs come to hit
you? Snoggs-Oh. it was all on ac-
count of a trihing difference OF opin-
ion between us. Glbbs-Difference OF
opinion? Snoggs-Yes; | thought he
lied. and he thought he didn't-Iw'h-
kles.
Mrs. Littlethot-IIow do you write
vour beautiful Scotch dialect stories
Mr.. Scribbler? Is it very hard! Nr,
Scribbler-Not hard, but trying-an
vou've got TO do is to stuff a hot po-
tato In your mouth and dictate 10
sva-dollar n week stenographer. -
Puck.
A Painful Observation-Disclosures
dear how much did you pay tne
nreacher who married MS? l want 70
enter If as the first item in our family
expense book" Great Scott. Esmer-
! aida, supposed your father had SET
tied tlatr'-Chicago Tribune.
"Nfv dear I am surprised that you
should accuse me of being Intoxicated
! last night Did ! not sit up an noui
| after | got home. smoking ana re"u
ing" asked he. YES, and do you know
, what Won were smoking? 1t was one
of my hair-curling kids.'-Cincinnau
, Commercial-Tribu
= Breakleigh-Good-by. Miss Convent
I've enjoyed chatting with you SC
much As a rule can never tax '0
Young girls She (visibly pleased
,, why? Do you generally find 'hem 'oe
! stumble He-Oh, no. On the contrary
: they are generally too Intellectual
And he wondered why her expression
changed suddenly.-Town Topics.
I Pete said Meandering Mike, de
/. ,.leycle is a great ting" Il don't SEE
/, whit it's done fur us" replied Flooding
: pete. .Its annihllated de aristocracy
: dat'S whut It's done whenever W.