Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-04-22
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too lazy to do something. ."-Puck%
Slumleigh-I don't see why Won %.
so little for me. Miss Gyer-Havp r,
ever taken Il good look at yourSolt,
Town Topics.
She - Do you understand thos
French jokes? Helm afraid I AL
She-Then | wish you'd translate tIsr
-Pick-Me-Up.
Gosling-"What do you think of fiji
new tie of mine?" Wiggins-"My hm
it's not a tie. It's colored sunni
ment."-Truth.
George describes the girl he is o.
gagged to as a perfect vision" "ys
And his sister says she is sight
Indianapolis Journal.
Has Mr.. De Broken proposed to vn
yet, Beatrice?" mo; but he has lav
yer looking into papa's financial n
fairs. ."-Detroit Free Press.
When woman is saving up to I'm.
new hat she can never see any nu
in her husbands spending money to h
long to IA club.-New York Press.
Cannibal king-You haven't succeed
ed in fattening the captive? The chls
coOk-1e's losing flesh all the time
think he's worrying about sometbim
Puck.
George just saw you coming frOD
the conservatory with Miss GoMt
Rather handsome girl. but too reserys
for me. Thomas-Yes, l just reserve
her for life.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Ever notice what an even tempe
johnson has? No matter how much nj
is disagreed with. he never gets A.
cry NO; but what deep pity h
has for the other fellow ."-IndianapOlb
Journal.
Dyspepsia Specialist drritably-
But, madam. you must chew yOw
food. What were your teeth given Won
for| Female Patient (calmlyD-"They
weren't given to mel bought EN-
Odds and Ends.
THEATRES ought to be seated with the
women all on one side and the men 90
the other "Why" 80 that when
men go out between the acts they can
tramp on each others toes. ."-DetUlt
Free Press.
n fashion paper announces that
gowns This summer will come higher
than they did last year. owing to 4
boom in the silk market. We trust they
will-at the shoulders.-Commerca
Advertiser.
The bicycle is all right. suppose
remarked Mr.. Walker, but it shoull
not be carried to excess" Il don't thinE
1t should be carried at all" replied Mt
Sprocket 1T should carry YOU
PlttSburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. is the frs
hand organ have seen for some weeks
Got too cold for them. | suppose." Or
SanlSt-"Eet ees so. signor. Zee peO
pies keepa windows shut and notta pa
us to nova on."--New York Weekly.
Mr.. Norris-"I won't hear a word o
it. 1t is too preposterous!" Mrs. Nor
rls-"Don't be severe with Frank: yO
know he has fallen in love." "Wel
can't he fall out again?" mo, In
afraid not without getting married.
Answers.
Il nave seen some pretty hard knock
III my time" began the anvil. in ring
ing tones. when the bellows interrupt
ed him with. But think of the troubl
l nave There isn't day that I'm nc
hard pressed to raise the wind."-CiI
cinanti Enquirer.
Mr. Esplanade-'I miss one topl
from the program of the Mothers Coz
gress which l fully expected to see d
cussed." Mr.. Monterey-"What
that| Mr.. Esplanade-"How to Maj
age Husband" by Miss Soanso."-
Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph.
Chumley-"I hear one of your fresl
men was pretty badly injured the otht
day. How was it?" Hankins-''Wh,
1t was in the elocution and orator
class. He has such heavy voice thf
he strained his back in trying to raj:
it."-University of Michigan Wrinkle
Advance Agent-"You Western PEE
pie don't seem to be quite up to oper
Everywhere we go the audiences wee
in the wrong place" Local Manager
You won't have any trouble here. NJ
ushers are instructed to eject anybod
who does not weep in the cuspidor." ;"
Detroit Journal.
Mabel studying her lesson)-"Pap
what is the definition of volubility
Mabers Father-''My child. volubilit
is a distinguishing feature of yol
mother when. on account of urgent a
fairs, don't happen to reach home III
fil nftnr - nsn1Aal- To-,