The Louisiana Democrat. [volume] (Alexandria, La.) 1845-1918, 1897-09-22

she-"What do you think OF thc way
enaak GermanT He-"Oh, it beats
tha Dutch."-Yonkers Statesman.
"T1as DR., Manson any social stand
rnrY' Dear me, yes. lie moves ia
the highest circles" New YORK oun'
ue-You girls seem to be awfully
fond CT sweets. She-And you lheh
seem to be awfully fond OF sourS.-Coi'
cell widow.
Stern father--I hear you were ous
rambling last night. Is 1t true! "ay
youth-No, sir; was aheao'-Ne"
York Journal.
Beggar-Plcase, sir, I'm SO exhausted
7 can't get my breath and Gen'le-
nan-Here's five cents; 90 una ouy
Dne.-Ha1lcm Life.
Mr.. New Hub--What does 1t mean
when a bride promises to obey! MIS-.
New Hub-slmply that she prefers not
to make a scenc.-Puck.
The doctor-It's twins, sir Young
husband-I might have known 1t; ns
nv wife's theory that two can i've as
eheaply as onc.-Tid-Bits.
"Treddle Is Jealous Of his prerosa-
tiyes, isn't he" "What makes you
saw sol" "He got angry the other nish'
onl told me not to be q fool.'-Ne"
York Sun.
do YOU think Skinner can make
living out there?" Make livihs'
Why, he'd make a living on a rock III
the middle Of the ocean-if there was
another man on the rock. '-Ilt-bltS.
AIrs. spat-Your husband Is an ID
ycntor | believe? Mrs. Spotter-1es.
Some Of his excuses for coming nome
late at night are in use all over inc
country.-Philadelph North Amer
can.
"Jyont you take this seat?" said the
gentleman in the car, rising ana III u
bis hat. "No, thank YOU" said the girl
with the skates on her arm; i've oeeh
skating. and I'm tired sitting down.
Yonkers Statesman.
, "If didn't love my husband, I'd stan
, him to deathw exclaimed the warm
q blooded lady from New Orleans !
= wouldn't" said the Chicago woman
! "I'd get divorce and stick lin lo'
/, alimony."-Tow Topics.
9 "And how did he die?" asked the lad!
= who had come West to inquire arte
, the husband she had lost. "Er-oy re
quest, ma'am," said the gentle COW
boy, as mildly and regretfully as posi-
J ble.-IndiaRapolis Journal.
=, "Who Is that young woman near tn
= other end Of the table talking aDou
~ correct taste In art? (Which youn
y woman? There are several" 1.-THE on
= with the wooden toothpick IN LIE
u mouth" Tribune.
d "Do you see anything coming OF
" voy?r asked the morning star OF
companion. "Not yet" was the reply
l"but I see O. servant below there WI
an Is about to light her kitchen fire wit
: e."-Yonkers Statesman.
Its perfectly absurd, this clamt
ne obo,,t our hats. People who can't 81
ap- over them would better not go to II
nto tbcater." 81 know; that's what to
m. NV husband, and he said, All right, '
nts won't go; and we don't. "-Bazar.
ma, simonsby-I have chance to mar
'"| two girls; one Is pretty, but mere BIT
tcrfIy. as 1t were, and the other, thout
fy- plain. is an excellent housekeepe
Mr.. Rus Of Chicago-Take the prf
tv one flrst.-1ndlanapolis Journal.
kin, How long have you been on IL
ct route?" asked the drummer OF t
sts; conductor on 4 primitive Southe
"a Nv railroad. "Ten yeahs, suh." "lndee
You must have gotten on several mil
ces south Of where I did."-Detrolt III
Press.
He-"Now that our engagement
' bv ended, l suppose we should retu
each others letters?' She-"1 suppe
he. so. And George, while we are abe
,el- # WHY not return each others kisses
ga. Engagement renewed on the spot
,ao Boston Transcript.
A young student lately present
''te himself for examination and lgnom
act iously failed. To his family, ankle
s"ii TO hear Of his success, he telegraph
thus: Determination splendid; prof
sors enthusiastic. They wish for
Han oud in October. "-Tit-Bit