davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
THE MAJORS BIG STORY.
idea Of His Wife Giving Him Five
Dollars Took the Prize.

idea Of His Wife Giving Him Five
Dollars Took the Prize.
There were five of six of them sitting about
the stove in the drug store, and they had
been telling pretty tall stories. The drug.
gist was q man of some humor and inven.
ton, and he concocted mixture of great
potency and fine flavor, composed Of sp.
frumenti, saccharum alba, cortex Unions,
caroghyllus aromaticus and aqua, pura q.
to whomsoever should tell the biggest story,
and the party at once began to stretch their
inventive powers to the fullest extent. A
toilet soap drummer was appointed judge,
and the prize mixture, steaming hot, sat in an
eight ounce graduated measure upon the
edge of the stove.
The colonel told war story Of the Nun.
ing adventure that evinced decided genius
for .evading the truth, and the postmaster
made strong bid for the prize with snake
story big enough to make the sea serpent
jealous. The others followed in turn, and the
last man, the major, entered the COMPETE
ton. The major had in his mind remark.
able narrative about dog that he owned
that did some wonderful things, and he be-
gan his story in this way:
Last Wednesday morning I got up a
breakfast. Most of you have seen that
brown setter of mine. He's good deal
smarter than most men. Well, that dog
was in the dining.room when I went in.
As came to the. door, my wife, who was
John. when I went to wake you up
this morning, found this fve.dol]ar bill
on the floor. You must have dropped it
from your pocket when you undressed last
night: Then she handed me the bill. Now,
that dog of mine was -.
"Wait Bit" said the toilet soap drum.
mer, you needn't go any further with your
man myself, and that lie you've just told is
one you'll never improve on. hereby rem.
der q decision in your favor 81
AS there was not single man in the crowd
not voice was raised in protest against
the judges verdict.-Detroit Free Press.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
Rejection. on Bachelo,

Henect1ons q Q Bachel0r.
Some folks are so humble that when they
get to Heaven they will go way around and
knock at the back door.
When a man gets excited in an argument
he always says it does make him mad to
hear people talk SO foolish.
Nothing makes girl so mad as for a man
to pretend not to notice when she has fixed
her hair up the way he likes it.
When a man goes out to shoot bear and
ends up by picking .huckleberries, he is very
apt to tell it the other way round.
A man will go to the devil for woman,
and woman will 60 to the devil for a man
if she can't get one from somebody else.
When man has to work hard to get
along his wife always says it's because he's
90 good.natured he let's people impose on
HMM. Y. Press.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
Beware of Ointments for Catarrl
That Contain Mercury.

as mercury will surely destroy the sense of
smell and completely. derange the whole sys-
tenn when entering it through the mucous
surfaces. Such articles should never be
used except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians. as the damage they will do is
often ten fold to the good you can possibly
derive from them. Halls Catarrh Cure,
manufactured by f. Cheney & Co., Toledo,
O.. contains no mercury, and is taken inter-
nally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces of the system. In buying
Halls Catarrh Cure be sure you get the gen
uine. It. is taken Internally, and made in
Toledo; Ohio, by F.5sG Cheney & Go. Testi-
monials free. <ss9
Sold by Druggists, price 75c per bottle.
Halls Family Pills are the best.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
wanted Her Moneys worth.

It happened on west bound Suffer street
car. The car was crowded. Some of the
passengers were strangers. At the corner of
Franklin street the conductor gave the sig.
nal to stop. He called out: Fourteen hun
dred." Nobody moved. He shouted again,
more Justify; no response. He repeated the
call, louder each time. At last he walked
up to lady in the farthest corner of the
aaa Sn tG boF t53s 1t ss
looked at him a moment somewhat per-
picked. 80
''But I want to get off at fourteen hun
dred and four" she snapped at him, say
agely.
The other passengers began to smile, and
the lady left the car in fit of silent indig-
nation.-San Francisco Chronicle.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
CRATE FOR SHIPPING HOGS.

then when made into crates each one is
treated to coating or two of paint.
All saw fuzz is removed by sharp jack
plane. The crate is put together with
wire nails. - +. 4 ~ ~
For the sides and tops use one-half by
four inches and four feet, II pieces,
and equally divide the space. The bot
tom is in one piece one inch thick, Is
inches wide and four feet long less one
inch. Front end contains one piece one
half by ten by 10 inches, and two halt
by four by IS inches, each. The rear or
door end has two pieces one-half by
2A by IS inches for inside cross strips
top and bottom, and two outside ton
and bottom strips one-half by four by
10 inches, with two upright strips one
half by 2% by % inches for each side
of the movable door, and to which are
fastened the side strips. The door is
one-haH by eight by % inches, and is
held firmly to place by wire nail
driven partially in at top end. The
corner posts in front end are one by two
by 20 inches, and on the inside of them
is fastened board one half by eight
by Is inches, which forms with the out
side board feed space of two inches
in width in front end of crate. The
board on the inside comes within an
inch of the bottom, where trough is
made by lacking in a piece of board
one-half by four by 10 inches, at slant
of about the same degree as shown by
one side of the letter V. When ready to
ship, place crate in the wagon and back
up to the driveway door in the hog
house, which is on level with the
wagon bed, and you can load or crate
the hogs with ease; then put feed in
the box at end of crate, and it will
drop down as it is eaten from the
trough, thus affording plenty of food
for the hog until the end of the jour-
ney. Water can be given in the trough,
at intervals, by those having the ami
NAL in charge. In such crate, bedded
with straw, the hog should reach its
destination o K.-Farm and Home.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
Wake Up.

Yes, wake up to the danger which threat.
ems you if your kidneys or bladder are inact-
i've or weak. Don't you know that if you fail
to impel them to action Bright's disease or
diabetes awaits you? Use Hostetter's Stom.
beneficial effect upon the kidneys when
sl9ggish, and upon the bowels, liver, stom
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

To Cure q Cold I'm One Day
Take Laxative Bromo Quinine Tablets. Al
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. 25c
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
Height Of 1mproprietx.

Is Height Of Impropriety.
"Do you know" said the girl in blue,
'while we were sitting in the hammock, and
just as thought he was about to propose, a
garter snake suddenly appeared"
How indelicate!" returned the girl in
pink.-Chicago Post.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

4 a woman should never accept q lover
without the consent of her heart, nor hus-
band without the consent of her judgment.
-Ninon de PEnclos. 49, ~
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

What nice companion Ay makes aftel
you have had an experience with mosquito
-Atchison Globe. H.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
Undisputed.

First Lawyer-You are a shyster!
His Opponent you are a black
guard! - 80
The Court-Now, gentlemen, let us get at
the disputed points in the case.-Phi1adel-
phia North American,
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Certainly it does. Truly. surely. St. jacob
Oil cures rheumatism. Thousands know
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Never strike man when he's down-espe.
cially for loan.-Chicago News.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

What Is It? Lame back. Use st. Jacobs Oil
What is it now? Cured. Right.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

WHY He Didn't Know Il.
Barber-You say you have shaved here
before don't remember your face.
up since Y. World.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Fortify Feeble Lungs Against Winter
I I!1.a, H la Honey Of Horehound and Tar.
Fixes Toothache Drops Cure in one minute.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

No odds how little man does he likes
to tell how he used to work. wv Washington
Democrat =
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

"A girl wearing an organdie dress thinks
she looks good enough to eat w shington
Democrat. H.. m = =
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Fits stopped free and permanently cured.
No fits after FIRST days use of DR.. KIine's
Great Nerve Restorer. Free 81 trial bottle 4
treatise. DR.. Kline. 933 Arch st., Phila., Pa.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21
Self Evident.

Self Evident.
Miss COPYRIGHT What do you think Of .
man who will marry woman for money!
Mr.. Spooner-All ] can say is that such :
fellow must be hard Cleveland Leader.
Piso's Cure is the medicine to break IN
children's Coughs and Colds.-Mrs. M. g.
Blunt, Sprague, Wash. March 8. '94.
No man is too shiftless to feel little bit
romantic about his marriage.-Wa Washington
Democrat.
Ye1ed? Yes, the nerves, by Neuralgia.
St. Jacobs Oil soothes, cures it.
Dissatisfied people are, as q rule, loafers.-
Atchison Globe.
Some things are easily cured-the
Worst pains by st. Jacobs Oil y. sass 5s
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Ve1ed? Yes, the nerves, by Neuralgia.
St. Jacobs Oil soothes, cures it.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Some things are easily cured
Worst pains by st. Jacobs Oil " IS SIS
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1897-10-21

Dissatisfied people are, as a rule, loafers.-
Atchison Globe.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
DUN'S REVIEW OF TRADE.

New York, May Pr. G. Dun & Co. s
weekly review of trade tomorrow will
say:
Unmistakable signs of improvements
comes in the general increase of COM
mercial loans, mostly for eastern mer-
chants or companies, though some well
known houses in the middle west ap-
pear with considerable rediscounts from
the south.
Not for long time have CONNER
cial loans been fully half the whole.
The distance change gives proof that
new business has been larger than many
have supposed. Receipts of money
from the interior exceed shipments
81 500, 600. mostly from the middle west.
Exports Of gold have no influence and
only signify the Willingness of Russia
to pay a price for the gold needed.
The iron industry has quite an in
crease in new business, though not in
all branches. Part was due to the rup-
ture of the steel beam pool and the fall
in price from $f.55 to $1.25 nominally
quoted. and some good structural con-
tracts were at once secured. Part is
due to a better demand for plates and
for pipe, of which one large contract
for Indiana fields was placed, and part
to growing needs for cars and vessels.
There is also some increase in rods,
though the season for wire and nails
is nearing an end, because of an uneX-
pected pool of rod mills. Low southern
freight rates marketed little more iron
at the north, and eastern foundry is
slightly lower, with grey forge only
sS.25 at Pittsburg. The Carnegie works
are now turning out 5000 tons Of rails
daily. nearly all on orders, and exports
of finished products increase. Sales of
copper. said to be nearly 5000 pounds,
have stiffened the price to 111s cents
for lake. and tin rose to 1872 cents, in
spite of large arrivals, though lead was
weaker at 1925 and tin plates at $3.50.
Coke is also a shade lower.
Failures for the week have been PAS
in the United States. against 227 last
year. and 81 in Canada, against 20 last
year.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
A SHREWD SALOONKEEEER.
How Mr. Riley. with His Brother in-Law's
Aid, Secured a License.

Ala, SecurPu q ilC+nSt'
New York. May q. The claim Of the
Hon. Hobart Krum, of SchOharie coun-
tv. that his county has produced the
smartest liquor dealer in the State, is
contested by all the statesmen from
Lewis county. Mr. Krum's man, who
had to get the consent of two-thlrds
of the landowners within 200 feet Of
his saloon in order to secure license,
merely purchased lot and decided 1t
TO six persons.
Lewis county's champion saloonkeep-
err is Clarence Riley. and he has place
at Lyons Falls. Last year he got the
consent of just two-thirds Of the land
owners and the kickers, in order TO
keep him from getting a license this
year. bought out one of the men whose
consent Riley had on his old license.
Mr.. Riley seemed to be up a stump,
and it got along this year to few
DAYS before he had to appear with his
consents. and he was still unable to
get the necessary number. Then he
thought Oh his brother-in-law, who
owned a piece of land within the 2CO-
foot limit. 1t had no building on it.
They discussed the situation until 10
o'clock at night. Then they heard Of
a man who had a lot of old shanties
to sell. ard they went off and made a
dicker with him. He lived at Fowlers-
vile. They purchased five buildings,
exS feet each Then they had them
dragged over to the vacant lot. and
that night drummed up tenants for
them.
The next night Mr.. Rnev's brother
in-law signed his petition for a license
as the owner Of six dwellings. There
were only four dwellings originally,
and Mr.. Riley and his six made the
necessary two thirds. Mr.. Riley
promptly applied for license at Low
vile and got it.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
MONTE CARLO
To Be Rivalled by a Gambling Palace
to Be Built in Mexico, and COnces-
sion Secured From the Government.

SAN FRANCISCO, May H.-It has
leaked out here that the concession OBJ
tanned by Jesse Grant and his associates
from the Mexican government for lands
surrounding the famous Hot Springs Of
Tia Juana. across the boundary line,
covers also privilege for running lot
terry and gambling devices. 1t is SAID
that Grant does not intend to enter the
business but that Easern people are pre-
pared to take control Of this feature Of
the concession while Grant attends TO the
colonization and development of the min
eral waters.
The Identity of the Eastern people IS
not known. but it has been learned that
the Dryers are figuring on the purchase
of the Rierson and San Antonio ranches.
some miles below Tia Juana to be used
for raising racing stock. y local real es-
tate man, who is handling the matter for
Grant and his associates. is authority for
the statement that the intended pur-
chasers declare that they will build the
finest gambling house in the world at the
springs. to cost 100000. TO include every
game of chance known, with a lottery
connection. The deal is to be closed this
week.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
JUDGE EARLE DEAD.
He Was Serving His first Term in the Uni
cod Stotas Senate

Ge Was Serving His first Term in the Uni
ted States Senate
Columbia, S. c., May 2f.-United
States Senator Joseph H. Earle died
at his residence in Greenville yesterday
evening. Brlght's disease was the
cause of death. Governor EllerDee VIII
have TO appoint a successor to serve uA
til the General Assembly meets next
winter. when it will elect a Senator
for the unexpired term. Judge Earle
was born in Greenville county, April
20 1847. His father, Elias d. Earle,
of Greenville. was a prominent law
yer. Judge Earle's early education
was received in the county Of stump
ter. In July, 1864, at the age OF II,
he enlisted as private in aConfeder-
ate battery of artillery. At the close
Of the war he returned home and en-
tered Furman University, where ne
graduated in 1867. He chose law as
his profession, and in April, 1870, he
was admitted and began the practice
Of his profession at Anderson, where
he remained until 1875. He removed
to Sumpter, S. c., as lawyer anu
soon distinguished HIllsei' III 4o'
he was elected to the Legislature ana
served four years, declining reelection
to the House in 1880.
He was elected Senator from sum-
fer county in 1882. In 1886 he was
elected attorney general and for two
terms filed the position. In 1850 he
represented his party in the national
Democratic convention. and was elected
as a member of the committee to no
tifv Mr.. Cleveland Of his nomination.
In 1888 Judge Earle declined the nom
nation for governor, because he was
committed to the support Of Governor
Richardson. who was a candidate for re-
election. He ran against Tillman for
governor in 1890, but was defeated.
Judge Earle then returned to Green
Vile. the home of his boyhood, and
opened a law office. In 1892 he was
elected Judge Of the Eighth circuit.
The history Of the campaign in which
he triumphed over John Gary Evans
and was chosen United States Senator
is recent history. He was married
Nav 10. 1859 to his cousin, Miss Annie
NJ. Earle. To them have been born
nine children, of whom six survive.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
WEST VIRGINIA PENSIONS.

Special to the Register.
Washington, D. c., May 21.-The fol-
lowing West Virginia pensions have
been granted:
Original-George W. Pauley. Sioto,
Lincoln county; George W. Dotson, Bor-
land. Peasants county; Christopher c.
Jordan, Sylvia, Roane county; Charles
A. Young. Walden, Kanawha county.
Original Widows. Etc.-Minors Of
Philip II. X. Hensell, Wheeling.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22


hes made in disrcgardiug what she thought
were tridinE symptoms. whenever there Is
th@ elightcs: disorder of the organs distinct
" feminine, Il wonan'S health and lite are
threatened. A cure cannot come TOO quickly
"A woman cannot be TOO CAREFUL Loss Of
he health means more than loss OF life. II
uieS-s Ca, loss of dcErer thinEs-the loss
OF husbands love, the loss of children $
happiness. the loss of possible children.
Whenever d w0fulu : sick she should look
for tie cause in some disturbance Of the
purely feminine organism, and She should
tlSe prompt measures TO stop Il. She should
t.Se Or. Pie-Ce's Favovite Prescription
This wonderful medicine Is the invention
o. a regularly graduated. skilled aud expert
specialist in the disease OF women, ana mas
had the most marvellous success OF any
medicine ever prepared.
Nrs. F. B. Cummings. of No. $50 Humphrey St,
s. LOUIS No writes &C. am now a happy
hio.Ac- Of fne healthy baby girl. Feel that
vo-- Frvcritc Prescription and little Pellets
haze t0ue me more good than anything I have
ever .lSeu. Three months previous 20 my con-
dncUcc- z sent FOR one %. your Medical ACNlS-
ers' vesd some OF the most Important points,
auj felt satisfied % try your medicine. took
thee Noct,cs Of the Prescription and the little
Pellets & so. Consequences were I was Only ~
ia51r fovty-6ve minutes With IVY FIRST baby
81 Tered S hours tacn had to lose him. He was
wears suffered untold agony, and in the ulcau-
time had two tui~c2rriagcS- Cauuot SpcIS too
highly Of your medicine. as I feel that IL has
saved Aoth NV ct'l1 ard myself Ny baby was
Old and 10 not tlliO ever felt better in my life
I took thc Prescription through my c1uhne-
nieut rnt an s,il taking b. End \ strengthen
AAz 10 myself sul 80 ,Ee Sa5S"
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
FROM 4 BALLOON.
An Aeronaut's Fatal Fall at McKeesport
PENNSYLVANIA

An Aeronaut's Fatal Fall at McKeesport
Pennsylvania.
PITTSBURG, May 21.-MOns. Lee. an
aeroraut employed with the Silver Plate
shows. which exhibited at MeKeesport
yesterday fell from his balloon last night
while making an ascension. and was ia
tally injured.
Lee began to ascend about o'clock and
had gone but short distance when he
found the wind was too strong. He cut
loose from the trapeze and fell on the
sharp roof of the Edies building. An arm
and leg were broken and his skull was
fractured. When picked up he was uncon-
conscious, and il is thought he cannot re-
cover
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
THEIR TIME REDUCED.

'ITINIIIt 70
PARKERSBURG, W. Va. May Alan
order has just some into effect in the B.
& o. shops which limits the expenses OF
the shop for the present month 10 the
same amount expended last month, and
in consequence a larse number Of the en-
ployeS have been laid OF for the remain
der of the month, and those remaining
are on half time.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
kIREiGaT WRECK.
Several Car Loads OF steel Rails Scattered
over the Landscape at Clifton.

Special to the Register.
CLIFTON, W. Va, May CLEARLY this
morning as an Ohio River freight train
known as No. Il. was passing this sta
ton an accident deraied d half dozen
cars of steel rails. which were strewn
all over the surrounding country, and
tearing up the track for quarter oil
mile. After about five or six hours the
wreckage was cleared up. Traffic was
suspended for several hours.
The road is handling lots of steel rails
from Carnegie, consigned to points south
To-day the road took three trains Of q
cars from Moundsville. delivered by the
=. & o.. and which the Ohio River road
delivered to the c. & O. at Huntington.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
AGAINST TIE POOLING BILL.
Views of the Interstate Commerce
Commission

On the Measure Proposed to Nullify
the Antitrust Law Decision OF
the Supreme COurt---A Letter
From the Commission on the sub
iect to Senator Shelby NJ. Cullom,
T Illinois - Reasons Presented
for the Opposition to the Meas
IRE.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
SUIT COMPROMISED.
VIM. BarrInger Satisfies the Demands OF
Miss Clara Kirk

Special TO the Register.
PARKERSBURG, w Va. May IL
The suit for $4,000 damages instituted in
the Circuit Court recently by Clara Min
eta Kirk against VIM. Barringer, q
wealthy young timberman and merchant,
of this city, for breach of promise and
seduction. has been compromised, Miss
Kirk accepting $500 and agreeing not to
prosecute the case. Barringer also pays
the attorney fee.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
W. VA. CADET APPOINTED.

Special to the Register
WASHINGTON. D. c.. May 21.-Con-
gresham Dorr has appointed W. II.
Dunn. of Greenvil,e. as a cadet at West
Point. with Samuel Frankenburger, OF
Charleston, as alternate.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
CARRIED LIFE INSURANCE.

Special to the Register.
Morgantown. w. Va, May 21.-John
S. Swindler, who was accidentally shot
here. carried life insurance of $4,000
in favor of his children.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
FOR SALE-REAL ESTATE
FOR SALE.

500 cash buys lot 2-2l-o on soa.h York
street.
$50 buys lot 5Ox15O on Linn ,u... Bal.
vedere addition.
Farm Of thirteen acre .-h Uo-on
cheap: $500 cash Will lul.. . The b4.
ance on long time.
Money 10 loan on city 3D.. ,.. ,..
curity at six per cent, ON -..r, notice
ROLF e. ZANE,
Telephone SEC. 50 F0lr..a s.
Wheeling register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1878-1935, 1897-05-22
ADDITION SCHOOL BUMDING.

Washington, May 21.-The Secretary
cf the Interior has authorized q con-
tract for an additional school building
at Mount Pleasant Indian school, in
Michigan, 10 cost $4,000,