Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-09-11

when the four presidents met they
were considerably surprised, and there
would very likely have been a difficulty
then and there if l hadn't made them
little speech, and begged them to observe
the laws of hospitality, and to abstain from
shooting on the premises. They saw the
force of what l said and concluded to keep
the peace. Each man gave the other
dignified salute, but not word would one
of them speak to another until dinner was
atout half over. They then gradually be-
gan to ask one another to pass the salt,
or to circulate the bottle. and in a little
while they were ali talking together as
fast as many monkeys.
When the coffee was brought in, and
we were all as sociable as If none OF US
had ever heard of politics, l get up and
said: Gentlemen! / have asked you to
meet together in order to settle your differ
ences and enable me to find ont which
president my government ought TO recog-
niZe. You can't help seeing that this coun-
try is too small to furnish a decent living
for four presidents. You'll have to go on
fighting till there's only one of you left,
and it's a mere matter of chance which
one that will be. You're playing game
in which you stake your lives against the
presidency, and. though 1 can't say what
you value your lives at, it's my opinion
that the stakes are far too high.
Now, 1 propose that you settle this
business by a friendly game of cards.
can easily choose some game in which
each man that is beaten goes out, and
leaves the others to play. The man who
finally wins is to take the presidency, and
the others are to agree to support him for,
say, two years. at the end of which they
shall be at liberty to start revolution il
they feel so disposed. You will arrive at
the same sort of result by playing game
of cards that you will by fighting and rails
ing Cain for the next year or two, and the
men who lose will only lose their expecta
tions of being president, instead of losing
both their expectations and their lives.
Now, gentlemen, here are the cards. Will
You take my advice and settle your differ
ence like Christians, or will you fight like
barbaIians"
1.-The presidents listened to my speech in
a very respectful way, and when 1t was
ended. old Almonte, who, as 1 afterward
learned, was the biggest card sharp in Tor
rizonia, said that he cordially agreed with
all his excellency, the United States minis
ter, had said, and that he was quite ready
to play the other three gentlemen for the
presidency. The other three didn't seem
very anxious to play, but first one of them
and then another said that while he had
perfect confidence in the justice of his
claim. he would adopt my proposal, feeling
certain that the blessed Virgin would see
him through all right. The upshot was
that they all sat down to some unearthly
Spanish-American sort of game that 1
never pretended to understand, and pres
emily they were playing as quietly as you
and 1 would play if we had a little game
of draw on hand with unlimited stakes,
and straight flush barred.
Il sat at the end of the table smoking
cigar, and saying to myself that l was
born diplomat, and had made a splendid
beginning as minister to TorriZonia. Say
what you will of the presidents, they were
gentlemen SO far as their manners went,
and nobody could have been more polite
than they were to one another. By and by
old Almonte smiled sweetly to Garcia, and
remarked that, fnasmuch as Garcia had
revoked, or lone something equivalent to
revoking, he was beaten, and must consider
himself out of the game.
Il never in all my life saw a man pull
his gun quicker than Garcia pulled his,
but quick as he was. he had got in only
one shot when all the other three presi-
dents were on their feet and blazing away
promiscuously at one another. Naturally
1 dropped under the table, for it would
have been contrary to diplomatic etiquette
for me to take hand in the shooting. Ali
the same l hated to be out of 1t, for 1t was
one of the liveliest difficulties ever struck.
1t didn't last over four or five minutes,
and by the end Of that time all four of the
six shooters were empty, and all four
presidents were lying on the floor. Then /
got up and called the landlord, and after
We had found that nobody was killed,
though every man had from two to five
bullets in him. 1 called up the marines, and
they carried the presidents to the hospital
in a sort of procession.
My little plan for settling the presi-
Dental dispute hadn't panned out quite as
/ expected, but it wasn't my fault. 1 saw
DIR. Moreno after he had examined the
wounded men, and he told me that they
would ali recover, though they would prob
ably have to remain in the hospital for
several weeks. He said that the govern.
ment would be carried on in the name of
Presidnt Almonte, the chap who had &C.
cuped the presidential mansion. until such
time as all the four claimants were dis
charged from the hospital.
"I shall take the best of care of them
ard maintain strict neutrality said the
doctor, and 1 shall recommend you to do
the same hereafter You've tried to ar
range things without bloodshed, and you've
failed, and now your best plan is to let
those four fellows fight their quarrel out
according to the laws and customs of Tor
rizonia'
1.-The four presidents lay in the hospital
exactly six weeks. None of them was
severely wounded, and they might all have
been discharged after ten days or a fort
night. but the doctor said that not man
should stir until his wound had entirely
healed. 1 went to see the presidents every
whole gang of them. i found out, by their
own confessions, that each man was brib-
ing the doctor to keep the others In the
hospital You see that II one of the presi-
dents could have got out of the hosaital
a day or two in advance of the others he
would have had Il free field and could have
seized the presidency without any oppose
ton.
According to their account, those four
men must have paid the doctor an average
of $1,000 each in brides, and each one
thought that he was getting his money q
worth and stealing march on his rivals
The doctor, being practical man, took