The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-01-03
THE POET RILEY ON BILL NYE.
Some Stories of the HumOrist-The
Best of All Is the Last.

Some Stories of the HumOrist-The
Best of All Is the Last.
From the New York Orleans Picayune
1.-The quaintness and whimsicality of Mr..
Nyes humor," said Mr.. Riley, as he closed
the little volume gently and held it in his
lap, was the notable thing about him. 1t
was unaccountable upon any particular
theory. 1t just seemed natural for his
mind to work at that gait. He recognized
the matter-of-fact view others took of the
general propositions of life, and smypa-
thized with it, but he did so with a ma
ave tendency to surprise and astound that
ordinary state of mind and vision. Me
could only say a ridiculous thing or perpe-
trate a ridiculous act with face like
sphinx, knowing full well that those who
saw or heard would look to his face for
some confirmation of their suspicion that
it was time to laugh. They had to make
up their minds about it unaided by him,
however. for they never found any trace
of levity in his countenance. AS he would
say he did his laughing elsewhere.
lone day in mid-winter the train stopped
at a way station in the west, and he had
five minutes to wait. Mr. Nye's rowing eye
had discovered that the plush-leather pill
lows of the sofa in the smoking compart-
ment of the car We were riding in We're
unattached. Without a word he picked
up tie leather cylinder and placed one
under each arm, with the tassels to the
front He was an invalid in looks as well
as in strength, and when he appeared upon
the platform thus equipped, the astounded
natives watched him with silent, sympa-
thetic curiosity as he strobe up and down,
apparently Selling the opportunity for
little much needed exercise. The rest Of
US had to hide to keep from exploding,
but he was utterly oblivious to the stares
and comments until he returned to the
car. No explanation was vouchsafed and
the primitive inhabitants of that town are
| probably still wondering what horrible
..alady compelled that invalid to wear
those outlandsh cushions.
"A favorite amusement with him was
the reading of imaginary signs at the sta
tions when we were travelling. When the
train would stop and that hush would
! come over the car, with half the people
wondering who their fellow passengers
were and the other half viewing the little
grocery on the one side of the station,
restaurant or billboard on the other, Mr.
| Nye would break forth and begin to read
| the billboard aloud: Soda water crack
ers-highest prices paid for hides and tall
low-also ice cream, golden syrup and
feathers The passengers across the aisle
would perk their necks, then rise and
come craning their necks, to find the
words he was reading from the billboard,
or finally some old fellow would come up
to the seat and declare that he could not
find where it said that. In quiet way
this would tickle Nye beyond measure
away down in the depths OF his sad, pa
thetic spirit.
His conferences with the train boys
have often nearly given me commissions.
When the boy handed him a book Nye
would ask with great interest what it was
about and listen patiently to all the boy
TA4F- AN,I
he would open the book and read aloud in
a monotonous sing-song, a lot of purest
nonsense, drawn from his imagination. 1t
was done so seriously that the boys eyes
would begin TO hang out as the reading
went on. Finally Nye would shut the
book up with a snap, losing the place and
hand it back to the boy with a puzzled
air as il he did not understand why the
young man had lied about its contents.
We could find that boy for an hour after
ward searching diligently the pages of
that book to find where that stun was
printed.
"Nye's method ofstringing people, said
Mr.. Riley, was entertaining always. but
| never cruel and never earned him the re-
sentiment of the people who were the vic
Tins of il. On of the most artistic cases
of this sort / recall was the way he got
revenge on a Chicago tailor. The tailor
did not know him when he went to order
that he was from the country. He told
MIR. Nye just what kind of a suit he want
ed, selected the cloth and measured him
with the assurance that this was a beau
tiful fast color and would wear like iron.
1t should be put up handsomely. When
Nye paid him for the suit and asked that
it be shipped to a way station in Iowa the
tailor was sure that he was right in the
mental measurement he had taken OF his
customer. The suit arrived, neatly lined
with farmers satin and Nye put Il on.
Day by day its bright blue grew lighter
and lighter, until. when we arrived in Chi
cigo six weeks later Il was a kind of a
dingy dun color. Nye remarked as the
train pulled in that his first duty in that
city would be to go around and interview
that merchandising and we went. He
shambled back to the rear end of the shop.
where he found the man who sold him the
garments. He shook hands with him cor
daily, said he was glad to renew the pleas
ant acquaintance and asked if he knew
what had caused the suit to change It's
beautiful color, at the same time turning
up the lapel Of the coat and showing the
striking contrast between the original and
the present color of the cloth
Why, man! cried the tailor. brlstling
with defensive indignation, what in the
world have you been doing to that suit?'
" Well replied Nyc in a tone of the