The sun., 1897-01-03
MY REVOLUTION.
M w. l.. AID EN-.


as / knew that the whiskey was particularly
good. wondered at his apparent melancholy. E.
II was thinking" said he. " OF the days when
was American Minister to the Central Ameri-
can republics. Our Government used to bunch
all the fve republics together and send one
Minister TO the lot Of them. | was young In
those days, and though Central America
was mighty rough place enjoyed II heap
moro than ever did any Of these European
courts. 1t was big thing to be Ambassador
to Lichtenstein and to have q hand in the po-
liticai pie OF pretty near every nation in Eu.
rope. but I never enjoyed It rs I enjoyed my
first mission to Central America. liked the
place so much that stayed there twelve years,
which you might call breaking the record.
lyon know. | suppose. that our Government,
whenever n nnewAdministration comes in turns
out all the foreign Ambassa sadors and Ministers
and puts IN lot OF new men. 1 ought to have
been turned out after being in Office four years.
but knew that couldn't be recalled except by
n notification 10 that effect from Washington,
and took good care that no notification could
reach mo. When my four years were pretty
near up got permission to make n tour OF the
five republics. and to report their condition.
Tho Central American Post ONCE arrange
mcnts were very bad and / calculated that
could always keep ahead Of any despatch re-
calling me that tho Washington folks might
send For four years kept moving from one
place to another, and never once in that whole
time did single blessed despatch or letter
from tho States ever catch up with me- Find
ing that couldn't be reached by mall the Gov
crnmcnt sent ont three successive special mes
senRers. with orders to hunt me up and notify
me that was recalled. but none OF the messen-
gers were ever able 10 come up with me. One OF
them did get within n days journey OF where
happened to be- and ! began to think that the
game was up but luckily he died OF fever be.
fore he could do any harm.
when the four years were ended, my own
political party came into power again. and tho
new President happened to be un old friend of
mine. so he kept me in office another four years.
and about the end OF that time I resigned OF
my own eccord. had bang-up time ex plor.
ing the country while I was keeping ahead OF
the mail and all the messengers, for / had no
wor; TO do, and living was so cheap that !
didn't spend any money to speak OF.
when was free to return TO my post OF
duty | had four years OF back salary to draw.
and though IL only made $4,000 all told IL
made me one Of the richest men in Central
America, barring. OF course. the Presidents OF
the different republics.
"The President Of Zarguela was as good a
fellow as you need to meet provided. of course,
that he didn't feel any call to shoot you. lie
and l were as thick as thieves. Tho other
Ministers were pretty swell lot, espe-
cially the Europeans. They used to come
to the palace dressed M in gorgeous
uniforms, and ~ first they looked down on me
because used TO wear blue flannel shirt and
trousers, and nothing else except boots and a
neckte. You see our Government didn't fur
nish any uniform for its diplomatic officers. 80
! just adopted the flannel shirts and trousers for
comfort. and gave out that they were the regu-
latin town nj Ifprtr fora I nj, Gtataa NtpIst
The other ministers used to put a heap OF
style. same as they do on this side of the At
lantic. and could see that IL bored the Presi-
dent. who was a rough soldier who had risen
from the ranks. He liked my free and easy
style and before had been in Office IA month
had more influence with him than the whole
diplomatic gang put together. taught him to
play poker taxing care that the balance of
| winnings should always be on his side. and
used to spend the greater part OF my evenings
In his private room with nobody present but
just we two and bottle OF Kentucky whiskey
that ! imported for diplomatic purposes.
This President Don Villar villar had been
in office five years when made his accuaint-
/ anCe. That was something very unusual in
Central America, where a President Is generally
turned out or assassinated within two wears af-
dent, however. had shot so many OF his oppo-
nents the day after his inauguration that there
was nobody who was In = position TO raise =
revolution against MIN. Then; again. he had
governed the country 50 remarkably well that
he was evorlastnGy popular.
without semi. monthly insurrection an1
biennial revolution, They found II, paid a good
things. and II there had been a free election anv
time while was in InrGueiR. Don Nillar y
nous vote. or course there wasn't any election.
for he didn't hold with any such fooishness,
but Just mention the thing TO show how
1 a. IA
"0ne night the PRECEDENT seemed to be in
cnriously low spirits, and after bit go, him
him TO tell me what WAS the matter. I'll tell
will symrathize with me. | have been President
neNr 500 in ,ss SoM Il ha.
always been the practice for tho President to be
| treasury got full enough to make 1t worth while
! for him to carry II off to Paris. and live like
.ar rs Sd S 9u not
| elO0000, but here am !, with three hundred
thousand in my possession. and no possible way
this beastly country for good and ALL
"'D Do you really mean 70 say said !, that
"of course do, eaid he. When took the
Job Of governing this country expected to he
go to Paris like gentleman. but here | have
been for ma. nearly hye ys9rs and there mere nmi
of heading a revolution
n9 hnyo an and hcy.
be eSporence "u in practical politics in Sew YSrS
and u you give me the counting OF tha votes,
can have you defeated by an overwhelming
majority. no matter II there isn't a single vote
cast against you
THANK you kindly said tho President.
but there never has been an election in this re-
! public, and don't want to disturb peoples
minds BY introducing any such useless and dam
| Rerous ceremony.
49, Then why. don't you resign2 said J..
You've got n Vice-Presldent haven't your II
| you resign he will como into office. and natur-
ally he will he glad to have you GO
lyon don't know what you're saying re-
piled the President Nobody ever heard OF a
| President who resigned II | were to do such a
thing, should be d!sgraced forever. People
would say that am either u coward or n luna
tic. Besides. the Vice-President, though he is u
middling good fellow, and has always been
friendly TO me, isn't tho sort OF man to
undertake a troublesome job unless no
can see his way to make money out OF H..
He would rather live quietly on his small salary
! than take my place with an empty treasury,
| No. Don Smith! ! haven't an enterprising
enemy In all ZarGuela, and haven't one single
| friend that can trust To rebel against me-
Then fyou won't resign, and won't order
| an election, why can't you bolt some dark night
/ with the treasury under your ARM?
Tho Presidents eyes flashed angrily ms
said this, and could see that he Was pretty
mad However he controlled himself, and said,
| In iheh