Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-04-08
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The earnest question of the hour.
And general theme. no doubt,
Is not of love or politics

Remains to be seen: The boy who
has an appointment with the teacher
after school is dismissed
Transcript.
Kean-Isn't your wife afraid to drive
| that horse? Steam-Not at all. IFS
the people she meets who are scared
Hartford Times.
First Office Boy-It says "Our hero
now partook of IA frugal repast" What
does that mean? Second Office Boy
! Quick lunch.-Puck.
Husband-Why should you blame me
because we were late to the theater?
Wife-You forget, dear, that you hur-
ried me up so.-Puck.
"Wobbles rides his bicycle in his flat
now" "In his fatP "Yes. it's steam.
heated, and he has to scorch up and
down the hall to keep warm" Life.
| | went into the theater,
But left it with a sigh:
! The play was long, the jokes were broad,
The hats We're very high.
-Pick-Me-Up.
inquired the superstitious man. "Yes,"
was the reply. my wife wants one,
and it's going to cost me $50."-Wash-
ington Star.
Does your latest novel enjoy a large
SaleT' he inquired. Il don't know
whether the novel does or not" replied
the author, "but do."-Chicago Times
Herald.
Rural Teacher-What current event
of great interest can you give me this
morning Small Girl (eagerly)-My ma
has just made twenty tumblers of jel-
| ly.-Judge.
Willie-1ts always in damp places
where mushrooms grow, isn't it. papa?
Papa-Yes, my boy. rs that the cea.
son they look like umbrellas, papa2'-
Ionkers Statesman.
Did you ever get so mad that words
failed you| "Yes-once." "When
was that?' "Just one-eighth of sec
ond after I called prize-fghter
liar."-Chicago Record.
Mudge-Oh, yes, we had a real lively
time Simmons and l. 1t cost us near
ly $50. Wickwire-Yes. l saw Sim
mons this morning. and he told me he
spent t$45.-Indianapols Journal.
Come. Julie, let's go and have
friendship oyster stew together"
"Friendship oyster stew! What's that?'
why. you pay for mine, and I'll pay
for yours. New York Journal.
She-And you say that you have
never been in love? He-Never. have
thought l was, seventy-fve or eighty
times but l always found out after
ward that l wasn't-Somerville Jour-
nal.
The subordinate-Here is letter
| from Il young woman wanting us to
give some of the legends about the ori-
| gin of the fan. The Chief-Turn It
over to the baseball editor.-Indian-
apolis Journal.
However ling the line may be
| With civic folk and troopers.
Each marcher proudly feels that he
Is the grandest in that pageantry;
The rest are merely supers.
Washington Star.
And is she really the trained singer
she claims to be?" Beyond a doubt.
She can sing Comm Through the Rye
so that nobody can tell what it is with
out looking at the am."-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
First Doctor-Well, that's Just like
these actresses! Second Doctor-What
is? First Doctor-Why, that Miss
May Cupp won't let us look into her
head with the y ray until she makes
up her mind.-Puck.
Couldn't Stand Alone.-"They tell me
Van Wither is very weak since his last
sickness" He is. saw him on the
street just now and asked him for a
flyer: but he couldn't stand a loan
Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
Amy. my love, wish we lived in
the good old days when knight could
fight for his lady love-" why. George.
dear. as for that, you haven't asked
papa's consent to our engagement rs
yet, you know."-Forget-Me-Not.
The Comedian ION the defensive,-
But you know there are only seven real
jokes in the world, 1t is said. The Sou
brette-I know; what puzzles me is
that you have never happened upon
any of them.-Cincinnati Tribune.
Nellie-I don't see why Charley DIM
pleton has suddenly been so taken with
Dot Thurston. How do you account
for it? Jessie-Oh, l believe she was
the first one to notice that he was rails
ing mustache.-Cleveland Leader.
Sometimes" said Uncle Eben, de
man dat pays hundu'hds OBJ dollahs fob
| flags an decorations aim ez mucb oh