The Forest Republican. [volume] (Tionesta, Pa.) 1869-1952, 1897-12-22
HUMoR OF THE DAY.

Willie-"Papa, what's the Great
Divide?" Pa--"It comes after an
election. Chicago News.
She-''This flat is so cold" He
"Well, how can you expect fre-prooj
fiat to be ?"--Truth.
Lancelot-"Poets are born, not
made" Maud Sharpe-'I know.
wasn't blaming you. Tit Bits.
He-"She asked me what color hai1
1 liked best" She-"That's just like
Maud She is always so anxious to
please. Judy.
Little Elmer--''Pa, what does 're.
quiescat in pace meau?" Prof. Broad.
head" please stay dead is near
enough. Puck.
Brownie makes me tired to hear
people call it the Klondike fever"
Yeast-"What would you call it?''
''The Klondike chill"
"I'm anxious to meet Mr.. Hobbey;
they say he talks just like q book"
eyes; he does-just like blank bookh
Detroit Free Press.
Tommy" said the teacher, "whai
is meant by nutritious food?" "Some.
thing that amt got no taste to it, re.
piled Tommy.-Tit-Bits.
He-"I am willing to admit I was
wrong" She-'I expect you to do
moro than that You must admit
that 1 was rightr-Puck.
N. Peck-"My wife hasn't spoken q
cross word to me for two weeks.
Betterhaws-"W is she coming
back?"- indianapolis Journal.
"Dar ain no wuss victim OBJ mis-.
placed confidence" said Uncle Eben,
"dan do man who gifts ter thinkin' he
knows ev'rything. Washington Star.
Irascible Englishman-'Aw, look
here, you needn't poke fun at Punch!'
Amiable American-"Whyn not? It's
the very thing it lacks. Brooklyn
Life.
Teacher-"What is the difference
between fixed star and any other
starr" Pupil-''It depends good
deal upon the advance agent. "-Bos
ton Transcript.
Raggs-"Say, do you believe that
story of the goose laying a golden
egg?" Jaggs-"Well, it would be just
like goose to do such foolish thing"
Chicago News.
"What beastly cold you've got,
Sam! Where did you get it?" 'It's
not cold; it's hay fever. 1 got it dane
ing with that grass widow the other
night. Punch.
lit must take great nerve to charge
battery" ooh, not so much," said
the ex-umpire. GIVE put fines on the
pitcher and catcher many time. -
indianapolis Journal.
Jill-"Is Gill n good Judge of
cigars?" Bill-"I think he must be.
He had two last night, and he gave
me one. He must have kept the best
one. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
Raggs-"All this talk,about the world
coming to an end is rank nonsense" "
Jaggs-"Why is it?" Raggs-"How
can anything round come to an end,
I'd like to knowl"-Chicago News.
'No, 1 can't give you job. I've as
many hands now rs / can find work
for" "Well, that needn't stand in
your way, guv'nor. The little I'd do
wouldn't make no difference. Tit
Bits.
Mamma -"Bessie, why don't you
wash the dishes? 1t is easier to do a
thing than to sit and think about it,"
Bessie" Well, mamma, you wash the
dishes aud I'll sit and think about it, "
--Browning's Monthly.
"Noman can know everything" said
the high-minded youth Between
you aud me, ," replied Senator Sorg-
hum, ''that's afact But there's no ex
cuse for mans making the mistake
of owning gup to it. Washington Star
Smith-"Your friend Wheeler is q
crank on punctuality, isn't hep" Brown
-"I should say he is. Why, he even
carries his watch in the rear pocket OF
his trousers, just to prevent his ever
being behind time. Chicago News.