The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-09-19
breaking engagements.
An article in the Philadelphia Times

An article in the Philadelphia Times says:
engagements are about as much talked
or now as anything, and while not yet pub
llcly declared there are several of fashion"
able interest spoken of resulting from
the associations of the summer just past.
such care is exercised in such matters in
Philadelphia that broken engagements are
but rarely heard Of Nevertheless it some
times has to be done. An English neWSpa-
per has started q controversy by asking:
is 1t ever iustihable to break off engage
ments? and on this subject Sarah Grand
says: 1t does not seem TO me that there
can be any doubt that it is juStifable to
break off engagements, not only under spe-
cial circumstances but under any circum-
stances which may threaten to bring I'M
happiness on pair should they marry. At
the same time do not think that an en-
gagement should be broken off for any but
the most serious reason; and I believe the
contempt we feel, and the stigma which att
taches 70 the man Of many engagements,
and to the girl who has broken off one af-
ter another are the involuntary outcome of
q knowledge Of character We know from
experience that people of that kind, with no
proper sense of responsibility, are mere
froth on the surface Of society, undesirable
as acquaintance and not worth consider
ing as citizens. But. II engagements We're
to be irrevocable, the chances are that mis-
cries in marriage would be double what
they are at present, and unhappiiy they
are only too numerous as it is Of course
no honorable person will enter into an en-
gagement without the honest intention of
fulfilling it, and, therefore, when such peO-
pie become engaged and afterward break
off. 1t is pretty certain to be for good and
Sufllcfsnt reason. engagements are like
marriage in this-that once people stand in
that relation to each other they have a GER
tain license allowed them which gives them
opportunities of becoming more intimately
acquainted than was possible before, and
of obtaining better knowledge of each
others characters, tempers tastes and hab-
it's than they could have done in ordinary
social intercourse. If the girl, who seems
sweet and diSinterested to the man who
proposes to marry her. begins by asking
him the moment he presents the engagement
ring to her what sort OF a carriage he will
keep, 1t gives him cause TO ponder; and if.
as he begins to know her better he finds
all her aspirations on the same material
plane, while his own soar higher, he might
be sure that there could be no union no
comradeship, nothing but a steady drifting
apart for them once they settled down to
married life, and it would be as unfair to
the girl as 1t would be disastrous to himself
to fulfill the engagement merely from a
sense of duty On the other hand, ii is
even more likely that an inexperienced girl
should discover, after she has become en-
gagged, that she was much mistaken in her
estimate of the character OF the man she
has accepted. If she has an ideal which the
man falls far below, or strict principles or
views as to the conduct of life at large,
which he does not hold, or If there is any
one important point of disagreement be-
tween them, they had better not marry. A
girl of high principles morally who is mar
must be miserable, and so also must a
woman of intellect married to a brainess
man of muscle, or a religious woman mar
ried to one who SCOTS at all she holds sac
red. 1t is even more important that a girl
should be able TO break off an engagement
than that q man should. for men get on
pretty comfortably with quite inferior
women; but anything that lowers her hus-
satisfaction, If not absolute misery, for a
girl -