The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1897-03-16
wAYsIDE
Bits or Humor and Nuggets OF Truth
for the multitude.

So.o - Inv NSiNop .
they catch every speck of dirt there Is.
MANY men get rich by doing the
work which the other fellows neglect.
Very many of life's ushipwrecks
are to be traced back to a Schooner of
beer.
There is nothing so strong or safe
In any emergency of life as the simple
truth.
make the pot boil with the fire Of
genius.
When people are crazy to marry
they attach no consequence to couse-
quences.
are more powerful than those which
open it.
"A contemporary says lawyers are
noted for losing their patience. How
about doctors?
Happiness consists not in having
vast rich possessions, but being fitted
to enjoy what we have.
To be able to sit on the fence is
political talent. To know just when
to get off is genius.
If a girl likes a young nan she
ought to help him out, and if not, let
her father do the job.
He who will not reason is a bigot /;
he who cannot is fool and be who
dares not is q slave.
"A sound discretion is not SO much
indicated by never r.aking a mistake,
as by never repeating it.
Not n unmarried woman in q
hundred tells tie truth when she is
asked why she never married.
&c Haca 10 opotho, ;llo ,h,4&o..a %
said the young man whose father in
formed him that he must 60 to work.
There are still living in Connect
lieut. twenty-four daughters of soldiers
who fought in the Revolutionary war.
1t takes a fraction less than three
seconds Tor u message TO go from one
end of the Atlantic cable to the other.
The man who can't keep up with
the procession in this world mustn't
expect to enjoy the music of the band.
-"Why did Joseph's brethren cas-,
him into the pit 2" because they
didn't van him in the family Circle"
1t is easier to keep q COW from
shrinking u Al 20 restore the vic Id
att = ~ i,,='r"r hcen allowed to lessen.
Of civilization. Perfect teeth are
found, as a rule, only among the saw
ages.
Circles around the moon are some.
times large and sometimes small, be-
cause they are formed at different
heights in the air.
1t requires Is, 600, 600 COWS to sup
ply the demand for milk in this coun-
try, and the products OF 60, 0O0, 900 acres
OF land to feed them.
The slippery elm contains in its
inner bark a great quantity of much
lage, which gives it it's peculiar prop.
erty and name.
New York and Pennsylvania in
1896 cast a larger vote than all the
United States did in 1S40. The total
presidential vote in 1910 was 2,41O, 779.
THAT is a curious-looking cane,
colonel. Ii 1t a memento OF the war ?"
" Yes. 1t was made from tho log | oc-
cupied during the battle of Lookout
Mountain"
Greek and Roman doors always
opened outward, and when a man was
passing out OF a house he knocked or
the door. so as not to open it in the
face Of a passerby.
The Bank of France has a camera
80 trained that the picture OF any sus-
picious visitor may be secured with
out the suspected Individual knowing
that he has been caught.
Efforts to throw O silver dollar
down q @ gas well at Anderson, Ind,
proved unavailing. Although the coin
was sent down sideways, the gas threw
1t out every time.
"A benevolent man at Charles City.
Ia, has established a "home" for
tramps, where they may rest and eat.
They have no wood to chop, no stock
to feed and no one to support.
John Jay Jackson, eldest son of
General John j. Jackson, was born ut
Parkersburg, w. Vs., August a, 1924,
ard wes appointed United States
Judge for the district of West Virginia
in August, 1861, by Abraham Lincoln.
Judge jackson still holds the office,
and Is the old,s st United States district
in politics before the war, and the sue
cess OF the Republican party in West
V rginia was much due to his efforts.
The consular reports made to the
state department have disclosed one
Interesting fact recently. That Is that
the most expensive manufactured pro-
duct In the world Is the charcoal fila
meat used in incandescent electric
lamps. These threads, which are
made by a secret process In Paris, are
so valuable that q pound Of those in
tended for lamps Of 30 candle-power IL
wo, tn $4,000. Even the inventor and
maker of the flaments keeps his name
q secret, in order that the valuable in
vcntjon may he still more securely
guarded.
1T 10 a law of evidence that a
husband cannot be compelled to testify
against his wife, and vice versa. In
the criminal division OF the District
Court at Denver, Colorado, this cues
tion was raised In the trial OF a white
woman who is the wife IF a colored
man. Upon objection raised by de-
%fendant's attorney, tho district at
torney replied that no such marriage
la Colorado was valid. The Court read |
the black law OF the State, and or. |
dered the man to answer questions in
eliminating his wife.
"A weird story is floating about to
the effect that four American million
aires have recently had made In Shelf
field, England, steel waistcoats and
coats which are warranted to secure
them immunity from death In ordinary
cases OF attempts at assassination. The |
armor is of chain mail, 80 light that
when me has worn 1t d week or two
IL Is nc incumbrance to him and strong |
enough to turn q dagger or sword
thrust. though 1T would not stop q
bullet. L