Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-06-26
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Lecturer-"Thc entire history Of the
world has moved in cycles" Sprockct
what Philadelphia North
American.
Fogg says he is immodcratcl fond Of
red hair, because 1t looks 81 much bet
ter after it has turned gray.-Boston
Transcript.
She-"iou looked like fool when
you proposed to me-" lie lg,oomily)-
We'll. why didn't YOU tell me before
y was too late;"-Dctroit Tribune.
Minnie-"I want to Introduce you to
young lady-a very nice young lady
and she's worth her weight in gold"
Bob-"Stout girl. I hope" --Tit-Bits.
Hobson-"what do you think patriot.
ism Isl" Dobson-"lt's a willingness
to allow all your wife's relatives to 60
to the war."-New York Advertiser.
Judge-well. now that you are back.
you can tell us how much It costs to
so to Europe. All you've got and all
you can borrow over there. "-Baltimorc
News.
Mrs. Howso-"Did you attend Mrs.
Cumrock's funeral yesterday Mrs.
Saidso-"When she owes me n call?
Why. the very idea. Washington
Times.
Then you agree with the Rev. Mr..
Straitlace on the question of eternal
punishment" Not exactly. We both
believe In Ii, but I'm not in favor of IT,"
Truth.
Employer-"I thought you wanted to
60 to your grandmothers funeral this
afternoon" Office Boy--"Please. sir,
II was postponed on account OF we,
grounds. Truth.
Miss Towncy Din search Of the idyllic,
ut last meets real. live shepherd)--
Pray. tell me. gentle shepherd. where
II thy pipe" The Gentle Shepherd
II left It at come. mum. cause amt
got no 'baccy."-Tit.Bits.
FINISHED your projected kineto-
scope YETI" asked the idle man. IT
works beautifully" said the inventor.
but the hardest part is to come"
"what's thati" Getting up n name
for t."-Cincinnati Enquirer.
II would gladly lay the world Mt yous
feet" the young man exclaimed. Dear
me-" sighed Mabel, II almost wish you
hadn't said that" "why!" Father IL
always saying you act as II you own
the earth. "-Washington Star.
"Where did you get the pretty bow
for your hair. Nelliei" ''Guess 1t was
yours once. wasn't IT," "why no, why
do you think that:' "'Cause sister
gave 1t to me. and heard her say she
gets all yours. Bazaar.
Mistress-"Dld you ask for milk
bread." Domestic-"Yes. num-" Nils
tress-"What a miserable little loaf
they gave youT' Domestic-"Ycs,
mum. It's my opinion. mum. that the
baker Is usin' condinsed milk."-Dublin
World.
"No man ever got rich." said the
cornfcd philosopher. "by sitting down
and thinking what he would do II he
had S1.00O.C00. The fellows who got
there ala so by thinking whom they
should do to get 00O00."-lndlannp
oils Journal.
Henry. you look very pale. What's
the troublcg' Il was stung to the
quick by IN adder this afternoon
How did 1t happen;" why, | drop
ped In NJ bank. and the bookkcepci
told me my account was ovcrdrawn."--
Golfers Weekly.
"rhe difference between the Wagner
ties aud the ntl-Waguerltcs Is quite
simple" What II III" well, when
the Wagncrltc can't understand Wag
ncr. he thinks Il i his own fault. while
the an,l.Wagncrltc, under similar cir
cumstances. thinks II Is Wagner's
fault."-Puck.
ut was really most enjoyable occa
sion" remarked Miss Cayenne. "rhcr
YOU regmI Il rs worthy of being class
cd with the social successes Of the sea
SOM "Oh, dear no. l couldn't thinl
OF going SO far rs that. No one has ye
Informed me how much 1t COST
Washington Star.
Gadaround--I witnessed n perform
ance of Hamlet" by village amateurs
out ut waybackville the other night
:lnr!ey-Must have been distressing
.,adaround-On the contrary, 1t wal
highly amusing. Not one of the actors
ro.got 10 say exit" every time he LEFT
&c s,agc.-Puck.
Il guess Jim can get away for thai
fishing party all right" What makes
you think sou II was up to his house
last night. His wife used 10 DE ~
amateur clocutionlst before they were
married. and he asked her to recite
She'll never refuse him now.'-Cleve
land Plain Dealer.
II was surprised TO hear that Pencil
ope had broken her engagement
thought she was determined to stlcl
20 him In spite Of the opposition OF hcl
father" "She was, but the Idiot wrot,
her some poetry, as he called it. Ant
he rhymed her name with let us thcI
elope.' That settled him."--Clncmnat
Enquirer.
4 Parliamentary IIint.-It was get
ting late, and still the venerable ex
United States Senator fingered in thu
parlor with the young people. Evident
ly something had to be done. II hope
papa" said his daughter, gently eu
resolutely, "that you VIII not he offend
I'd II I now move a call OF the house
during which all persons not entitled
to the floor viii please retire, Will,
Charlie and discuss a question of per