The Valentine Democrat. [volume] (Valentine, Cherry Co., Neb.) 1896-1898, 1897-04-29
pVEskka e aSf The
>pREss ,

spring has died from neglecting TO bring
his overcoat with him.-BOston Traveller.
In all their history the stock of the
lower Mississippi banks has never been
watered to such an extent as nOw.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Weyler's soldiers may desert him, but
as long as his typewriter holds out victory
cannot be wrested from his grasp.-St.
Louis Republic.
The Indiana girl who tried to stroke
circus tiger will be disfgured for life.
But think of the experience she had!-
Buffalo Express.
After we all get through talking about
it. we must admit that only the Missis-
sippi could stand such long run on its
b: lk.-St. Paul Dispatch.
If eternal perseverance is genius. as
Michael Angelo asserted, then 4 great deal
Of genius is going TO waste in office seek
ing.-Baltimore American.
The latest school house in New York
has a roof play ground. Here is an idea
which may be old. but which is certainly
practcal.-Baltimore American.
The United States must do for the Paris
exposition in 1900 what it wished France
to do for us at the time of the Worlds
Fair at ChicagO.-BOston Journal
The House of Representatives has moth
ing to do, and it is discharging the obliga-
ton with all the earnestness and energy
of which it capable.-Chicago Record.
The man who tries to get back his pres
ents after the engagement has been brOk-
en- knows how hard it is to make a retrOac-
tive resolution work.-BaltimOre Ameri-
can.
The senatorial fight in Kentucky has
now reached the indictment stage. and
it looks as if somebody might be chosen
to a seat in the penitentiary.-Bo
Herald.
1t is ridiculous to assert that "Ken-
tucky's senatorial deadlock is costing that
State $1,000 a day." That wouldn't set
tie the bill for wet goods alone.-ChicagO
TimesHerald.
Cigarette ashes are said to be great to
make palms and rubber plants grow. La
dies who want to see their palms and rub
Der plants prosper will know now what
to do.-BostOn Globe.
We observe that the adjectives infam-
Gus, iniquitous, corrupt, crooked and mis-
chievous are being terribly overwOrked in
all States that have Legislatures in ses-
sion.-BaltimOre American.
If impossible to give President Angel
the protection Of a man-of-war at the
Turkish mission. he should at least be
allowed to take along the Michigan Uni
versity football team.-Detroit Free
Press.
There has been more talk and less war
in the past two years than during SINH
lar period at any time in history. The
examples set by the great American prize
fighters have demoralized nations.-Chi-
cago Journal.
Tuesday night was a busy one for the
airship. 1t exploded in Kalamazoo, Mich,
ran aground in Carlinyille, ILL.,. and made
its debut in Washington, d. G. 1t now
seems to be three-ringed circus affair
Chicago Tribune.
1t looks as if a typewriter was at the
bottom of the latest bank smash in Chi
cago, and the queer thing about it is that
she isn't particularly pretty. She must
have been quite fascinating, just the
same.-Boston Herald.
Gen Weyler has again announced that
the backbone of the Cuban insurrection
has been broken. The facility with which
this article is produced down there seems
to indicate that the insurrection has got
backbones to burn.-New York Press.
Reports of a monster flying machine or
sea serpent near one of our seapOrts Will
not necessarily mean that the aerial mys-
terry has taken new form. 1t may be
one of our battleships trying to cross a
corn feld.-St. Louis Globe-DemOcrat.
Many a man who denounced as idiotic
the vocal celebrations on election night
is now busily arranging his plans 50 as to
enable himself to 90 out to the baseball
grounds and howl maledictions on the UNI
pire and otherwise root boisterously.-s
Chicago Record.