The Portland daily press., 1897-05-25
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COLONEL INNOCENCE.
The Kentucky Cclored Man and Why He
Was Dressed to Kill.

| cence of Kentucky; not the Innocence or
| the old life in any visible part, but an In
| nocence Respondent in the finest nnery OF
| Broadway; an Innocence who might have
| been college student in color. his CUT
| away suit fitted him to a line; his shirt was
gorgeous in stripe and hue; his tie correct
| in texture and construction; his gloves,
tan and smooth; his derby in the best
form; his patent feathers long, pointed
| and brilliant. The cigar smelled like a
good one. Innocence stood still while l
took him in from head to toe. Then he
cooked his hat on one side, flicked his cigar
and said.
"I,kindah SWEEP yuh off, didn' I?''
"You are all right, Innocence; you are
all right. couldn't do that myself, but
want to tell you that you'd have hard
time explaining it all to the police"
"Don' con me, boss; dom con. Dis is
easy, easy Dey DIES happen tub be comm
tub me, das all. Din none NV de boys tell
you bout it? Oh had thu bes thing at
evah happened. wuz down than by thu
bettin ring an ] see uh race wiz three
bosses in it, an evahbody bettin on two Nv
'em. By an by see uh gemman lookin at
thu odds, an know he's maxim up lis min
whut he gwine bet on. sidle up an whis-
per sumpin in his year bout Pelham.
give i'm thu good ole strong talk bout me
ridin i'm in mother race thu week befo',
an he wuz easy. He skinned off nh 20 an
got uh Pelham ticket While he's standin
than | take uh little piece NV chalk an
make uh mark on thu tail NV is coat so
know him. Cose eff Pelham win I'm
wantin tub fin at man mighty bad.
at wuz my day tub shine In ub mint
lax he's lookin faw uh legal advisah, an I
git mex tub i'm. He's got thu Pelham
notion in he head, too, but dom lax Pei
ham no mo-, an done TUX uh suddin love
Nv Moss Rose, thu othah good I'm in thu
race. He take uh lot Nv good con talk,
but land i'm an git i'm down 25 strong
on Rose. Den knows it's gwine tub be
chicken faw me an puts ma little mark
on he coattail, two little marks, an at
means eff Moss Rose beat Pelham I'm look.
in faw thu second man. I got ma game
all laid out, SO go down faw uh glass Nv
beer, an sooth ma heart.
"I'm standin out on thu lawn smilin tn
maself wen uh good thing come long an
fell ovah me. DIES couldn't git outen lis
way. 1 hadn't said word bout thu ole
sixty -tuh-one shot in thu race, an didn'
wan tub, but thu good thing forced me.
He come smilin up tub me an say, boy,
is yuh one Nv these jockeysf' Yuh oughte1
see me dodge. 1t wus tub easy. Cose
tole him Use one Nv thu bes' at evan come
ovah, an den l give i'm thu ole long shot
an let i'm go. + sot i'm down sof' wiz uh
ten on at sixty-tuh -one. Des cause I got
nothin else tub do put ma mark on i'm,
three little chalk spots on he coat. Ain
no t1n11 rzr1I, IL Z
might be lookin faw i'm an not know 'im
agin.
81 goes down tub thu stable boys ban
an glorifies maself wiz mother schooner
an den takes ma seat in thu granstan.
AT race ain got no charms faw me tall.
One man bettin on Pelham, mother man
bettin on Moss Rose, mother man pikin
on uh long shot. Innocence settin in thu
gran stan wiz two beers inside an suppah
an brekfus right in sight. How kin yuh
beat it. Use singin uh little sof' tune tub
maself while thu bosses is runnin Ain
even lookin at 'en. Whut's thu use It's
tub easy.
"All 'twonct somebody settin close tub
me commence cussin. look up tub see
whut thu trouble, an than come that ole
sixty -tuh-one shot gallopin long by hissef.
He wuz SO faw ahead at thu othah two
bosses didn' know which way he went.
Say: wuz black in thu face. Ain no use
tellin yuh which man Use lookin faw. It
TUX me Is minits tub see i'm, but saw
i'm good wiz thu three little marks on is
coattail. He saw me comm an he com.
mence smilin an reachin faw lis bank roll.
He pulled out uh wad as big as yo' leg an
say, sNiggah, youse ma friend. Whut'l
we bet on mex time / say, 'Bettah talk
bout how much we win dis time an my
min will wuk Free
He don do nothin but skin three hun
dud off 'at bank roll an shove it at me,
sHyah, niggah, we win six hundud. Take
yo' half tole i'm my stable didn' staht
no mo- bosses at day, an he bettah wait
uh day r two faw mother chanc't. J.
wanted i'm tub last all wintah an come
good an strong in thu spring. So saved
'im.''
Innocence took off his derby with
graceful swing and bowed a low adieu to
an imaginary good thing and smiled com
placentIy. 'Den I got ma min tub wukin
an say tub maself: Innocence, you's toe
good. Yuh cloes dom fit yuh an yuh ain
polished 'nough faw yo' own bus'nis.' An
go intuh town an give ma little ordah
tub ma tailor an now yuh see me wiyout
feel glasses Mex time goes trav lin thu
Pullman kyah is waitin faw me. -
"How about the two men who bet on
Pelham and Moss Rose?"
"Well, dey dom finish. I'm DIES lettin
EN- fawgit ma face He smiled again
and drew out roll of bills, looking al
them sideways, as if he feared he'd get
cross eyed from overwork Putting his
money back he scratched match on the
sole of his patent leather, adjusted his hat,
shrugged his shoulders, shook out his
trousers and said: "I'se kwine down tub
thu bettin ring an lay a few wagahs on uh
boss. Kin put uh little bet down faw
yuh, boss? Oh, an mos fawgit sumpin.
Mex time yuh see me yuh'H know me. -
He handed me printed card. It said:
Colonel Innocence of Kentucky. Legal
Adviser
Then he grinned and sauntered Off
Charles E. Trevathan in New York Jour.
nal.
Jut III NAV Not STAY R~oI-ac