davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
GLUTTONY'S PENALTY.
Lives That Are Shortened by the Pleasures
OF the Table.

In spite of the warnings and COM
mands of family physicians, in spite of
the many examples of shortened lives
and lives Of suffering. men will yield
to the seductiveness of the pleasures Of
the table. The spectacle of the man
who overeats or who deliberately eats
improper food is common enough, but
rarely do we see as plain evidence of
the admiration for the glutton which
certain people possess as that which the
daily papers some time ago afforded. A
we'll known bonifaoe died at an age
when he ought to have been enjoying
robust and vigorous health. Some slight
mention was made of his business ven
lures, of his daily life, of his reason for
living. But all this part of his exist
ence was immateiral and uninteresting.
The great and praiseworthy features of
his life seem to have been gastrOnOmic
feats and general ability to eat and
drink enormously. He was lauded as
the prince of bon vivants, the man who
could eat huge dinner and shortly
thereafter swallow brace of broiled
Holsters and couple of Welsh rabbits,
washed down with copious libations of
vintages or distillages or fermentages.
During his last illness, when his ply
sicians enjoined rest in bed and scru-
pulously careful diet, we read that he
was game enough to dress and 60 out
on the hotel porch to sit, winding up
his imprudence (and incidentally his
life) with a hearty meal, in defiance Of
the medical directions. This last piece
of bravado was apparently considered
by certain newspaper reporters as an
achievement fit to rank with victory
on battlefield, and the glutton was ad-
miringly mentioned as though he were
brilliant and fearless hero, risking
his life in q worthy cause.
The newspapers were not creating a
sentiment, but merely catering to one
already formed in thus aiding gluttony.
The only conclusion we can draw is
that the epicurean philosophy still has
its cult, and that many mans motto
is, LET us eat and drink, for tomorrow
we die" The case is left to the moral
ist.-American Archaeological Bull
letin
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
An Imperial Cstechisor.

Sometimes it is inconvenicnt not to
be able to use quotation marks in speech
as they are used in print. A German
soldier of the First regiment of the
Royal Prussian guards found this fact
out not long ago.
The Emperor William is the honorary
captain Of the first company Of this reg
iment and takes especial pride in it. He
was lately engaged in putting its SOL
diers through an examination to test
their military knowledge and expert
ence.
What would you do" he said to one
soldier, "if, when on duty as sentinel,
you saw a crowd gather near your"
II should politely request the people
to disperse, your majesty"
Good! But if one of the men in the
crowd approached you and sought to
worry you?'
II should say to him, Don't worry
me, your majesty"
The whole Of this remark seemed 80
obviously addressed to one person
either to the supposed man in the crowd
or to the emperor-that the emperor
burst into q laugh and said, Every
we'll, my man. I'll dispense and will
not worry you any more. YOUTH
Companion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
MARSHALL p. WILDER.
A Sketch Of the Little Humorist as Writ
ten by Himself.

A Sketch Of the Little Humorist as Writ
ten by Himself.
was born nine years after Bill Nye,
in the state of New York. AT one year
made kick, and my father moved me
from out of the state into the city of
New York. My father, beipS physi-
clan, later took me to HartfNl for my
health, where began to laugh and
grow fat. I have been laughing ever
since.
Ny first partner in the funny business
was the red headed son of the jailer in
Hartford. He played Buffalo Bill-the
only one who ever played the part with
red hair, but that was his conception of
1t. We made money. Our stage was the
scaffold, which was kept in the garnet,
except when there was hanging, when
we took off the play.
On returning to New York city,
found myself without the red headed
friend and without means. For time
I buried my talent in Bradstreet's
agency as file boy at 81 per week. I
mixed in go many jokes with my work
that the letters didn't read seriously
enough. Then went to England and
waited for things to come my way.
They came In walk, while the $40
had left kept going in trot. / found
that living in small hall bedroom
made me narrow minded, SO staid ont
in the park several nights to give my
self room, as we'll IA to air my repertoy.
concluded it was weak in me to bury
my gifts simply because was in hard
luck, SO l began series of free enter
tainments and became 80 popular that I
began taking three cups of coffee day,
instead Of one, as heretofore.
Among those who took advantage of
the cheap prices was the Prince of
Wales. 1t cost him nothing to laugh, so
he laughed. Several people wanted to
know what he was laughing at He re-
piled, "That." had told joke about
the mother-in-law which struck the
lost chord in the princes heart and
woke up responsive, sympathetic pang.
have been charging all I could get for
my services ever since. Being Repub-
lican, struck myself off the free list,
as I no longer consider myself raw ma
terial.
For several years now I have been in
this city, am known by nearly all the
street car drivers, who never fail to hunt
me up before get off.
My family consists of my father,
whose constant, patient companion I am.
In retaliation for my gags he prac-
tees daily his school of homeopathy
OH me. 1t is hard to tell which gets the
worst of it. We have as many rooms a
we wish, but only one home. His head
is silver-heart gold. We are pals.
In this autobiography have, in my
shrinking way, left out most of my
strong points, as is becoming at such
times. Yet, if have unjustly SANDER
ed myself, there be others who have the
right to set me square before an out
ragged public. Far be it from me to do
myself justice. The end. Merrily yours.
Marshall P. Wilder in Empire Mag
aZine
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20

disorders of the digestion. When the
digestion is bad the blood becomes i'm
pure, and is imperfectly supplied with
the food elements that build up new
and healthy tissues, and tear down,
and carry away those that are inert and
half-dead. The nerves are not rebuilt
from day to day with new, vigorous,
active fbers. Every organ, tissue, mus
Gle and nerve in the body is half fanished
for healthy nutriment. Almost any dis
ease in the category of human ills may be
the result of this condition. Most fire.
quently it is the most deadly of disorders
consumption. Sometimes it Is some
other wasting disease. Again, It may be
scrofula or some skin disease.
There Is a sure preventive and remedy
for these conditions and maladies. It is
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery.
1t corrects all disorders of the digestion.
1t restores the lost or failing appetite and
invigorates the liver. It fills the arteries
with the pure, rich, red blood Of health.
1t builds new, firm flesh, healthy, active
nerve fibers, and strong elastic muscles.
1t cures 90 per cent. of all cases Of con-
sumption, and wasting diseases. 1t cures
nervous prostration. Druggists sell it.
The man who Is too lazy or negiectful to take
an occasional dose Of medicine to ward of the
evil effects of constipation deserves to die And
he will surely get his deserts for constipation is
Pleasant Pellets cure constipation. They never
grippe. One little Pellet" Is . gentle Laxative,
and two mild cathartic. All good druggists
sell them. No other pills are as good.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
MOTHERS FRIEND

is the remedy which relieves
women of the great pain and suf-
fering fincident to maternity; this
hour whichis dreaded as woman's
severest trial is not only made
painless, but all the danger is re-
moved,by, its use. Those who use
this remedy are no longer de-
spondent or gloomy; nervousness
nausea and other distressing con-
ditions are avoided, the system is
madeready for the coming event,
and the serious accidents so COM
mon TO the critical hour are
obviated by the use of Mothers
Friend. 1t is q blessing to zOoman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
The I.auRh ON JoNatt.

Once when Professor Jowett was WIS.,
iting his friend and pupil, Professor
Sellar, he declared that he never gave
to beggars. Mrs. Sellar was an adept in
"mystifications," an accomplishment
popular in Scotch society since Sir Wal
ter Scott's time. She disguised herself
as poor highland woman and waylaid
her husband and Jowett at o crossroad,
begging approximately and telling her
tale of woe SO piteously that Jowett at
last said: Poor thing! She seems very
miserable. Give her half CROWN" Sell
lar said he had no money with him, and
before the aims were forthcoming the
secret was triumphantly unveiled.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
Old People.

Old people who require medicine to
regulate the bowels and kidneys will
md the true remedy in Electric Bitters
This medicine does not stimulate and
contains no whiskey nor other intoxi.
cant, but acts as tonic and Alternative.
1t acts mildly on the stomach and
bowels, adding strength aud giving
tone to the organs, thereby aiding
nature In the performance of the func,
tions. Electric Bitters is an excellent
appetizer and aids digestion. Old PEG.
pie find it just exactly what they need.
Price fifty cents per bottle at A. H.
Roberts drug store.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
To Make an Oyster Cocktail.

An oyster cocktail is made by putting
into glass half a dozen tiny little oys-
tiers, to which add few drops of tabas-
co, pinch of salt, a teaspoonful of
worcestershire sauce, teaspoonful of
tomato ketchup and tablespoonful of
lemon juice. Mrs. S. T. Rorer in La
dies Home Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
Low Rates to the West and soutl

On May and IS, the North-Western
line will sell Home Seekers excursion
tickets, with favorable time limits, to
numerous points in the West and South
at exceptionally low rates, For tickets
and full information apply to agents
Chicago 4 North Western Railway. l7-3
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
Supremacy Exasperating.

Don't you think Mrs. Spurrell has
an awful temper?'
"She has, but can you blame the poor
woman? She has husband who just
absolutely won't get mad at all. "-Ty-
biographical Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
CARD COLUMN
ATTORNEYS
HI. w. HANNA,

a TTORNEY AT LAW. Money to loan on
n real estate at lowest rates. Abstract of
title promptly made. Patents solicited. Office
over ButhwegS store, Audubon, Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20

hysically
robust a n d
manly. The
woman who
lis sickly cam
not be beau
tiful and wo-
manly. Most
all forms of
ill-h e alth
have their in
ception in
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20

M. Maingault, the famous anatomist,
discovered that by forcing air into the
larnyx of dead animal sounds could
be produced very similar to those of the
voice during life.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20
Hard Work.

"What was the hardest work you ev-
er did for living?" asked the benevo-
lent old lady of the weary pilgrim.
"Stealin, num- '-Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-05-20

The Greeks were
physically perfect and
beautiful because they
were healthy. The
man who suffers from
ill : health cannot be
The record-union., 1897-04-27
J. ARTHUR JOINING.
To Appear Here Under the Auspices
of the Y. n. c. A.

The second of the Y. NJ. C. A. course
of entertainments will be given at the
Congregational Church Thursday even
ing, when J. Arthur Loining, the noted
impersOnatOr, will appear. The Es-
CANADA (Mich) Mirror" says of this
prince of entertainers: u Arthur Loin-
ing is a prince of entertainers. The
three scenes from Hamlet were we'll
rendered and for two hours he kept the
audience in a state of joyous expecta-
ton. and the constant CLEAN of delight
which characterized it always revealed
itself through tears. From the grave
to the gay. from the ridiculous to the
sublime, he Travelled earnestly without
uttering any Objectionable phrase by
the way 1t is needless to say that he
was heartily encored at the close of
every piece
The Racine CWis) News says of
him: 81. Arthur Loining, impersonator
and humorist, made his first appear
ance before a Racine audience last
evening at Association Hail. From the
close attention and enthusiasm shown
by the large crowd in attendance it was
plain to be seen that he was well re-
ceived. Mr.. LOining's Interpretation
of the three ghost scenes from Shake
speare's Hamlet showed great his
trionic talent. The balance of the pro-
gramme comprised humorous and dia-
lect selections from well-known au-
thors, and was given in an artistic
manner"
Mr.. Loining has been enthusiastical-
~ received on the coast, and will un-
doubtedly give full satisfaction to Sac
ramentos most critical audience
The record-union., 1897-04-27
COYNE GETS 1T.
Dispute Over an Eight-FoOt Strip of
Ground Settled.

Judge Hughes was engaged nearly all
day yesterday in trying the case of
Della Eberhardt against NJ. J. Coyne
which involved the title to a strip of
ground between the parties. who are
coterminous owners of lots | and >. in
the block between l and ], Twenty first
and Twenty second streets in this city
The defendant proved to be the legal
owner of the strip, but plaintiff claimed
that his title thereto had been Invested
from the fact that she had had it
fenced and held it adversely to defend
ant for five years. The evidence estab-
lished that the the strip had not been
inclosed by plaintiff for the full period
of five years before June /, 1878. when
the statute requiring payment of taxes
on land claimed adversely was passed.
nor had the plaintiff paid taxes thereon
for that time, and the court therefore
decided the case in favor of the de-
PENDANT
The case was formerly tried and a
judgment in favor of the plaintiff was
reversed by the Supreme Court. 1t
was retired yesterday before Judge
Hughes, with the result stated. Alvin
j. Bruner was counsel for plaintiff. and
James b. Devine for the defendant.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
LBPPINGWBLL'S L0ITERERS.
They Are Still in Camp Near the Gas
Works.
Their Leader Languisfes in the Bas-
tile-All They Want is to
Go East.

S. A. Leffingwell, the leader of the
tourist contingent in camp on the river
bank near the city, sat on the end of a
rough bench in the Police Court yes
| terday, and his dull eyes looked off into
vacancy as he waited his turn to an
| swer to the charge of vagrancy. Lef-
fingwell looked the hobo in every par
| ticular and seemed entirely at home in
the prisoners dock
! There was no scene, no attempt at
| fiorid, sandlot oratory, and no attempt
| to create sympathy for himself or the
other members of the gang that recog-
niZes him as its leader He seemed
stolidly Indifferent While the complaint
was being read charging him with
roaming about from place to place and
and having no visible means of sup
port; of being "a healthy beggar and
an associate of known thieves" and all
the rest of the charges which may be
| brought under the Nagrancy Act.
| When the document had been read.
Leffingwell coughed up a gutteral mot
guilty" and when asked how he would
be tried, said Jury
| The City Attorney suggested to Judge
Davis that the case be set for hearing
Wednesday, May 4th
There was no hesitancy on Judge
Davis part in fixing the date suggest
ed, and after the other four men from
1.-The gang-John Lynch, r. Myers, w. c.
I Simmons and Tom Connolly-had also
entered pleas of not guilty to charges
similar to that preferred against Lef-
| fingwell, the quintet were marched down
stairs and into their cells, having left
upon those who saw them anything but
a favorable impression
In the meantime Leffingwelrs camp
followers remain where they first land
ed, near the gasworks south of the city,
except that various of their members
went on tours of inspection through the
city yesterday.
-Four of the tourists called on Mayor
! Hubbard and asked if the city could
not give the crowd food, as they were
on the verge of starvation. The Mayor
told them the city would not do any
thing of the kind-that the citizens had
enough poor of their own to look after
and that they must be attended to in
preference to strangers
The visitors said they desired to reach
the East, and came here expecting that
| Sacramento would pay their fare to
Ogden, or near there.
! To this the Mayor responded that
Sacramento would do nothing of the
sort; that the railroad was open and
anyone who wanted to go East need not
look for aid from the city
| The same committee called on Chief
of Police Drew and asked him to turn
! over the Sl3 81 taken from Leffingwell,
as 1t belonged to some of the men. But
the Chief told them he had no authority
to turn over the money to anyone ex-
cept the man from whom /, was taken.
Last night one of the men applied at
the Police Station for bed He said
he would strike out for himself to-day.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
BADLY USED UP.
A Prisoner Who Leaped From a Fast.
Running Train.

A Los Angeles convict named Joseph
Mimms occupies a cell in the County
Jail, which he may not be able to leave
for some time. While being brought
here en- route to the Folsom Prison he
leaped from the train near Newman,
Stanislaus County, and was badly in
jured.
Mimms was in charge of Deputy
Sheriff Mcclure, who temporarily re-
moved the handouts from his prison
er about o'clock in the morning. The
latter made a dash through the open
door of the car and jumped to the
ground. The train was backed up, and
Mimms was found where he first
struck
The record-union., 1897-04-27

tween K and L, on Friday evening, the
Both inst, at 7:3O O'Clock, at which
time the names of those who desire to
take part will be enrolled and the diff
ferent parts assigned.
AS the time is getting short, and
much work is necessary, it is impor-
tant that all those who have this part
of the work at heart should respond
promptly Members of the Epworth
Leagues and Baptist Young Peoples
Societies are earnestly requested to CO.
cooperate, and all singers who feel an
interest in the work will confer a IA
vor by assisting in this part of the eX-
erciSes.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
AN ANNOYING ERROR.
Lincoln White is Attorney for an In
solvent, But Not One Himself.

In copying the court minutes on Fri
day last a mistake was made in stat
ing that S. B. Smith had been appoint
ed assignee for Lincoln White an in
solvent debtor
This did Mr.. White an injustice
though it was not intentional. His
name appeared as attorney for the real
insolvent, w. E. Bowles. 1t was the
reporters mistake, and we take pleas
ure in making the correction.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
That Marks Fire.

H. Marks says that the fire in his
store on Sunday morning must have
been caused by the blowing out and
dropping of a piece of live carbon upon
a pile of clothing directly beneath This
theory is borne out by the statements of
electricians who assert that fires may be
started in this way and that in the East
some insurance inspectors insist that
the tops of the electric light globes be
covered with fine screens to prevent the
falling of pieces of the carbon
The record-union., 1897-04-27

MATTICE-In Oak Park, April 2fth.
Isaiah Mattice, husband of Della NJ Mat
tice Gather of Stella M, Gertrude D.,
Pearl +. Mattice, brother OF Mrs. p.
Fuchs of Sacramento, Mrs. L. Hoskine
of Sonora, Cal, and Harmon and
Amanda Mattice of Canada), native of
Canada, aged 80 years.
Friends and acquaintance are respect
fully invited to attend the funeral
this CTuesday) afternoon, from the
funeral parlors of Miller & McMulen,
800 X street, at 3 o'clock.
LIND-In this city, April 26th, Louisa, wife
of b. O. Lind, native of Germany, aged
Sc years.
Friends and acquaintance are respect
fully invited to attend the funeral to-
day (Tuesday), at l p. m, from George
H. Clark's funeral parlors, 10Y and lois
Fourth street.
CHASE-In this city, April 25th, Mollie,
wife of E. r. Chase (mother of Walter
Cunningham, sister of Mrs. A. T. Ross
and Fred w. Rohrer, daughter of the
late Mrs. Sarah Rohrer. a native OF
Missouri.
Friends and acquaintance are respect
fully invited to attend the funeral to-
morrow "wednesday afternoon, at :
o'clock, from the residence of her sister,
Mrs A. II. Ross, 1918 II street
The record-union., 1897-04-27
CHRISTIAN ENDEAVORERS.
Chorus Books for the Coming Con.
ventiOn Are Now Ready.

The books containing the selections
for the chorus of the International
Christian Endeavor Convention having
now been published, all persons,
whether members of the Young Peo-
pies Societies or not. who desire to
take part in the singing exercises of the
convention, are requested to meet with
Professor George G. Hunt at the lee
ture-room of the Young Mems Chris
tan Association, ON Sixth street, be-
The record-union., 1897-04-27
Weather Report.

The Weather Bureau reports show
the highest and lowest temperatures
yesterday TO have been 10 and % de-
grees. with fresh to brisk southwesterly
winds and clear weather prevailing.
The highest and lowest tempera-
lures one year ago yesterday were IS
and A degrees, with 30 Of an inch Of
rain, and one year ago to-day 90 and
43, with no rain.
The average temperature was 81 de-
grees, and the normal 81, showing yes
terday to have been but one degree
cooler than the normal.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
What bicycle Runs Easiest.

Ask to be shown the two point per-
pendicular contact bearings found only
in the Thistle. and you will find there
in a scientific answer. What wheel is
handsomest? See the Thistle, and in
your own good eyesight find the an
swer. What bicycle is strongest? Ask
the many Thistle riders what their
wheel has cost for repairs and in their
testimony find the verdict. Kimbau &
Epson claim everything in sight for
this wheel. Lightest, fastest, strongest.
handsomest
The record-union., 1897-04-27
Madame Bushnell, PaImist.

Madame Bushnell, the famous palm
list of San Francisco, is located at No.
Gil K street, and will remain to May
Sth, inclusive. You get a complete
knowledge of your life from a scientific
basis; full names are spelled and point
ed out in your hand. Madame Bushnell
has been established fifteen years in
San Francisco. Hours-9 a. m. to 9
D. M, daily.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
Charged With Criminal Libel.

Poundmaster Cooksley yesterday
swore to a complaint against ]. n. Lar
kin. charging him with criminal libel.
Mr. Larkin is publisher of the Leader, -
the last issue of which published an
account of an alleged fight between
Cooksley and r. H. Ryman. 1t was not
Cooksley, but one of his men, who had
the difficulty with Ryman.
The record-union., 1897-04-27
The Folsom Picnic,

a special train carrying a couple of
hundred persons left the city yesterday
morning for NatOma Grove, where
Granite Lodge of Odd Fellows of Fol-
som held its annual picnic. They re-
port having had a most enjoyable day
The record-union., 1897-04-27

One advertisement ought
to make you say to your
grocer:
Give me a package OF
SchtAzlme's Best tea, if you
can really afford to return
my money when l don't like
it."
Sohiing & Company
San Francisco 5Oo
The record-union., 1897-04-27
Optical Goods.

We carry a complete line of optical
goods. Eyes tested free by a competent
graduated optician. Klune & Floberg,
42S j.
The record-union., 1897-04-27

Thousands are using DR.. Byron's Ko-
la Vitality Beans. They bring back
lost vital forces, 25c. For sale by P. F.
McMorry, Sixth and K, and II. E. Yard
ley, Eighth and j.
The record-union., 1897-04-27

Buggy tops from So and up: buggy
cushions, 81 % and up. Everything else
in proportion, at A. Meister & Sons,
9l0-914 Ninth street Call and see for
yourself
The record-union., 1897-04-27
Department Stores.

The many and the single department
stores stand aghast at the way the Mo-
del is slaughtering clothing. See page
The record-union., 1897-04-27
Purity is Health.

Pure cream ice-cream is made by
WEIGH Bros, Ninth and ]. Call on them
when you want it.