Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-01-21
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Teller-Hard? 1t was as hard as 1t II
for red-nosed man to look coldly in
tellectual.--Puck.
Shell think I might love you more
II you were not so extravaganza. He
It's my extravagant nature that makes
me love you so.-Life.
us your picture in the Academy a
successv That's what am wonder
Ing. Some one said 1t was worth the
price of admission. Puck.
Gracle-Papa, monologue Is when
people talk to themselves, Is 1t notT
Papa-Yes; or, sometimes, when they
talk to their husbands.-Puck.
Arthur would marry that girl but
for one thing. Chester-Afraid to pop
the question? Arthur-No. Afraid to
question the pop.-Brooklyn Life.
Tagleigh Balloon sleeves were
bound to go up In the end. Wagleigh-
Sure. That is why they were named
balloon sleeves.-Boston Traveller.
Brown-Have you decided what you
are going to call the baby? Jones-Oh.
yes We're going to call him whatever
name my wife may select.-Puck.
Hawson-Some men go through this
world as though they owned 1t. wish
could. Blinks-Why don't you buy
wheel?-Philadelphi North American.
John" said Mrs. Snaggs to her hus-
band, do you know the date of Noah's
Aoody Eyes" what was it," I'm
undate." Pittsburg Chronicle-Tele-
graph.
"Jumleigh lost an awful lot Of money
on the election" did he tell you SO"
mo; but when asked him he told mo
II was none of my siness."-Roxbury
Gazette.
Mr. Peck during the dispute)-Bu.-
but-my dear wife Mrs. Peck-Si-
lence, sir! I'll not but Bo-hoo! Now
you're calling me goat.-Philadelph
North American.
Brazen Boarder Cat dinner tablet
can tell fowls age by its teeth. Sur
prised Landlady-But fowls have no
teeth. Brazen Boarder-No; but have.
Texas Siftings.
Old Gotrox-You ask for the hand Of
my daughter. What expectations have
you? neutrality-suspicious.? Well,
l hear that you've got heart disease
Philadelphia Times.
II don't think Jerkleigh would hest
tate In telling lie," said Radbowen.
Eyes, he would" said Chesney. What
makes you think sop "He has to.
He ers."-Tid-Bits.
"Aunt Gladys" said the small girl,
"do you say man has or is left?"
1T depends, dearie," replied Aunt Gla-
dys, dreamily, ION the man."-Cincin-
natl Commercial Tribune.
II tell you that juror in a murder
case has an awful responsibility on
him." Eyes, indeed. If he goes to
sleep he Is liable to be fined for con-
tempt Of court."-New York Truth.
Jinks-Thcre Is a man who has
number of movements on foot for max
inig money. Binks-Who Is he? Jinks
4 don't know his name, but he's q
dancing teacher.-New York Adver-
tiser.
much champagne when you called on
me yesterday afternoon. He-Yes; l
thought I'd just look round to-day to
see IL l was engaged to you.-Pick-Me-
Up.
Mamie got diamond ring for her
Christmas" "How did she get "a"
Hung up her stocking" Jack, Of
n Tor oof
Hung up his watch."-Illustrated
Monthly.
sIm not much on stahtsticks," said
Ephraim Jefferson, "but I'll bet thutty
cents dat "a, 764, 321 paths OBJ slippahs
done bin made by young women TO
roung men dat won't nevah wore dem."
Baltimore News.
First Author-I learned the typewrit-
er in two weeks, and yet you say you
can't get the hang Of it at all. 1t Is
strange. Second Author-Not at all
strange. My vocabulary is so large
Cincinnati Enquirer.
The poet enters timidly. "Here are
a few verses, Mr.. Editor" he says, def
erentially. The barbarian, without
looking up, says, busily: please throw
them in the basket yourself-I haven't
time just now."-L'Illustre de Poche.
Curious circumstances under which
Stickem left his boarding house." said
drummer, speaking Of an acquaint-
ance whose character wasn't above re-
proach. "Indeed What was there Gu
rious about it?" asked friend. THAT
he didn't take the house with him.
Buffalo Times.
The Living Skeleton (surprised)-You
look terribly blue-and yet, only last
week you married the beautiful human
centipede. The Ossified Man (gloomily)
Il am blue! No sooner are we two hap
PLY married than she gets the cycling
fad, and have to buy her a sextet BIZ
cycle!-Puck.
Mother Ito her S-year-old daughter)-
Now, Mabel, want you to sit down at
once and mend that hole in your apron.
1 have spoken to you about it already
three or four times to-day. Mabel
Well, mamma, you oughtn't to speak
about II so often. You know the motto
You taught me says: The least said
the soonest mended," and you ought to
see II 1t will work that way with this
York Tribune.