Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1897-08-19
FLIGHT ON A WILD CABOOSE.
How a Western Conductor Used to
Court His Girl

On the Southern Pacific railway in
little station-a spur track" a box
car for a telegraph Office and a Sec
tion-house composing the whole The
station-house is, or was, presided over
by a handsome and hearty Irish
woman, who kept house for her hus-
band. The hands" being Chinese,
cooked for themselves.
The duties of the agent consisted
of reporting the passage of trains
(none of them stopped and feeding
himself
Two or three miles to the west was
what is termed in that section a milk
ranch. This ranch contained a widow,
fair, fat and forty, and three as buxom
girls, her daughters, as the glorious
climate Of California could produce
Many sheep herder had walked the
black and dreary hills for miles just
to catch a glimpse of those bright eyes.
The railroad men talked milk ranch"
until it became tiresome to an unin-
terested person, though they had but
few chances to cultivate the acquain-
tnce of the ladies'
One might have supposed that the
agent, being Johnny on the spot" as
is were, stood a better chance than the
rest of the railroaders, but such was
not the case. There was a certain
conductor, Hardy by name, who
leaned in the direction of the widow.
and he was equal to the occasion. His
plan of operations was at once unique
and daring. He would send his train
ahead, upon reaching the abode of his
divinity, leaving the caboose standing
at the station. Then, of course taking
account of other trains due, he would
wander over to the ranch and spend
all his spare cash in milk and his
spare time in blarney. Returning. he
would station himself on the front
platform of the caboose, like a trolley
man, and ''let her go, Gallagher" down
forty miles Of grade, while he con-
trclled the car by means of the brake,
and catch his train at the next sta
ton and proceed.
The agent didn't like this so we'll
Unfortunately for him his duties were
such as to confne him to his box car
office almost continually, so that he
had no chance to prosecute his suit ex-
cept when the ladies paid a visit to
the sectionhouse After much brood
ing he decided to put stop to further
proceedings on the part of the con-
ductor, and awaited his opportunity.
1t was bright day in June when the
train pulled in, and as the conductor
gave the engineer a, joyful and signifi-
cant high BALI the latter pulled out,
leaving the caboose at the station.
There was a short salute and a hur-
ried departure as the conductor left
the agent, and the latter proceeded to
business. He first placed a "chock"
against a wheel of the car, and then
disconnected the brake chain He
placed the connecting chain in such a
position that a touch would displace
it, and then awaited the return of his
hated rival.
Like a triumphant gladiator Hardy
returned. With scarce a look at the
agent he assembled the platform, kicked
off the dog that held the brake, and
with mingled feelings of security and
pleasure felt the car move down the
grade. That car certainly moved.
Conductor Hardy was heard to say
afterward that nothing, could have
passed it but lightning. The inhab-
itants of Mojave tell to this day of a
yellow streak which flashed through
their town, and was gone almost as
soon as it arrived. That was Mr.. Har-
dy and his caboose. AS luck would
have it, the train had gone into a
siding, so that the track was clear,
and after a dovelike flight of about
fifty miles the wild caboose came to a
standstill
Unless Mr.. Hardy reads this story he
will, perhaps, never know how it was
done. At any rate he never came
back any more" so far as the widow
was concerned.