Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-04-15

lection for infant industriesy' rs that
SO? Why, l didn't know he was ever
married. Chicago Post.
girl with new engagement ring
reminds you Of man who always
keeps his Overcoat unbuttoned when he
has on dress suit.-New York Press.
What on earth induced you, John!
You gave that waiter S. for tip, and
he was the worst l ever" That's
just it, my dear. l wanted to enable
him to retire" --Bazar.
Shelf you were to find that | had
lost all my fortune-every penny of It
would you hesitate to carry out our
engagement? He-I would hesitate at
nothing. -1ndianapolis Journal.
1.-The Romans" said the teacher,
"were good ut bridge building" x
should say they were." murmured the
bad boy on the back seat. Look al
her observation-disclosures Times.
Mrs. Cohn--Ikey, who is dat in de
frond room NIT papa: Ikey-A divin.
ity student vas looking for Il furnished
room. Mrs. Cohn-Ikey, go oud by der
hall undt vissle hymn-Judge.
See here. young man." said the sterr
father, "if you don't come home earle,
after this, I'll know the reason why"
Glad to hear it. Governor; that will
save all explanations on my part"-De
troit Free Press.
do you pray for your dear teache.
often, Tommy! asked the visitor to
the school. Yes, thir." replied Tommy
the Truthful, whenever thee whipth
me Il pray for the devil to git her.
Cincinnati Tribune.
Little Boreham trelating his Alpin.
observation-disclosures stood, the terri
bic abyss yawning at my feet That
brute Brown-Was it yawning when
you got there, or did it start after you
arrived?-London Punch
lkey-Vot's der shtrangest ting dos
effer happened to you, fadder: Mr..
1saacs-A fire dot ! hat lasd year in
Delaney Shtreet. lkey-Vot vas dere
shtrange apoud dot: Mr.. Isaacs-l
wasn't cxpegding it.-Puck
II wonder" said the young man.
whether there is much money to be
made by writing novels" Some, per-
haps," replied the professional aman-
uensiS. but not as much as by type.
writing them. "-Washington Star.
Drnsilla-I. did not see you ut the
Nanblunt reception last night. dear
Dorothy-No; but hoped to be able tC
go, up to the last moment. but was
prevented. Drusilla (sweetly)-Yes: |
know the invitations were limited
Puck.
First Artist-Did you paint Stamp,
the tragedian. in that tragic role yet
Second Artist-NO; that's off. First
Artist-What's the trouble? Second
Artist-Well. he'd assume the pose all
right. but couldn't keep it--there wasn't
any applause.-Puck.
Count. shall want little luncheon
after the theater." Yes, mon ange.
Eet is quite propaire. But may asy
one small questione:" Certainly
What is it?' AT wheech restaurana
does your worthy fader run a bill
I
Grymes--The bride was quite popu
lar girl. wasn't she? Gobang-Yes. in.
deed. The Daily Whoop sent their
sporting editor to report it. He printed
list Of rejected lovers half column
long under the heading, Among Those
Who Also Ran."-Truth.
who is that Notwithstanding
gentleman standing by the theater"'
asked the guest. Col. Gore. from Ken
lucky" the clerk answered: but you
shouldn't judge a man by his looks. II
is not blood the Colonel has thirst for
Oh. no." indianapolis Journal.
A woman was arrested in Brooklyn
the other day for wearing out a bed
slat on her Oldest son. She was very
much surprised. and told the magis
trate that she had no idea that it was
violation of the law for woman ta
bang her heir."-Tammany Times.
Our new neighbors are very polite y
said Mrs. Perkasie to her husband
when he came home at night. care
theyY' Yes: sent to borrow their
stepladder and they told me they
hadn't one. but if I'd wait awhile they d
send and buy one. "-Harper's Bazaar.
well. what's your kick now?' asked
the manager, as the soubrete entered
| his Office. six feet nine inches" she
| replied promptly. Consider yourself
engaged for my summer extmvagan
"a" he returned quickly; that's two
inches better than last year."-Chicago
| Evening Post.
She-I understand that Miss Kroche
played on the piano at the reception
last night. Did they appear to enjoy
her performance? He--Oh! immense
| ". 1t was the most enjoyable time 81
the whole evening. Everybody wa.
talking away as If they would spill
| their throats.-Boston Transcript.
Algernon (who has invited himself
| down for days shOoting)-Hullo
| Tom. What are those tickets tied OF
the dogs collars for? Keeper-Well