The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-11-13
A HOTEL ON OLD BALDY.
A S~ure-Thing Proposition Is Taking
Material Form. and Faith Is
Turned to Knowledge.
LETTERS OF
Disease Burdened Mortals Write In
quiringly About the Microbeless
Eden of the Little Belts.
A Touch of High Life.

Since the announcement in last issue
of the monstrous hotel soon to be built
on top of Badly the HERALD has been
flooded with letters and circulars asking
all manner of questions, and advertising
the various fixtures and supplies to be
used in constructing and running a first
class, palatial health resort. The peo-
pie of Neihart, public spirited and
proud of their sequestered location on
Rand, McNally & Co.'S chart have been
c%uriously inquisitiye for further inform
alton upon the stupendous and seeming
ly impossible enterprise. AS we have
secured no further information upon the
progress of construction, than that pre-
sented in last week our multitude of
readers will be glad to learn how the
subject strikes the hearts of human suf-
ferers the world over.
There have been heavy demands for
rooms this week, by those who delight
in high living, and think to bring them
selves into closer communion with heav-
en- by means of the tram car and elevat-
or. Eight rooms have been taken on
the fifth floor of this hotel directly und-
err the observatory where will be kept a
daily record of the weather and a night
ly record of the march of planets and
consultations. By this means the occu-
pants can learn when it is raining by
simply running up the elevator and ask
ing the observer, who will be always po-
lite and obliging in offering such infor-
nation. Tourists in the belt of almost
perpetual can turn their pearl
handled opera glasses in the direction of
Kibbey and see the luXuriant banana
plantations, and aromatic groves of
pineapples, tapioca, and r~utabagas.
For the information of our readers who
have never lived in the banana belt we
wish to explain that the rutabaga is a
specie Of bread fruit which grows upon
a tree very much resembling the whif1e
tree of the temperate zone.
One of the most difficult questions
presented to the promoters of this hotel
was the choice of material for the build
ing the main ends to be subserved being
strength and durability. But for reas-
onably reasonable reasons they have at
last decided upon a foundation of stone
and Il superstructure of wind. These
conclusions have been deduced from the
fact that rocks and wind are apparently
the only materials which can be made
to stand the elements on that high hill.
The wind will be first compressed by
placing it under one of Shelby billiards.
heavy editorials, after which it will be
sawed and polished by submitting it to
a tune from the Neihart brass band.
After this treatment it is supposed to
stand so rounds Of weather under Mar
quis of Queensbury rules in any climate.
On the sixth floor, overlooking the
artificial lake, amply capacious and ele-
gantly furnished apartments will be pro-
vided where guests may while the hours,
watching the chips that pass in u night.
AS they salute each other and 60 to the
hole, the diversion is said to be exhilar-
ating. 1t is also betimes interesting to
watch the hands that pass in II night.
Beautiful notices and maxims will be
framed on the wall, excerpt from ordin-
ance No. IA, to wit, viz: "You don't
have to frog until you get one" "You
may pass adj libitum." It's too bad to
have a good hand butchered." and, ''By
buying a few chips, outsiders may have
the privilege of discussing the game"
There is little doubt that this hotel will
escape the a~nti-gambling law as it will
be built above Montana, aud will pay
taxes up in the next county.
An anxious inquirer writes;
BilltOwn, Ark. Editor HERALD: |
am much interested in the new con-
sumptive's haven to be erected on Bal
dy. l have been here till | have cough
ed up one lung and a half and the doct-
ors tell me to flee from the wrath to
come. Please tell me how your climate
meets the requirements of my profess
ion, and | will come at once.
Anxious Inquirer.
Ans. TheIe are more men of your
profession here than anywhere else in
the great moral vineyard. Why, in this
stimulating altitude. no man dies of con-
sumption. That half lung of yours
would grow to the proportions of a bale
of hay inside of six months. One of
our citizens came here last season with
only half a lung and now whenever he
whispers you can hear him two blocks.
He has to wear II mute on his mouth to
keep from deafening the members of his
fomily. He is now calling at all the
dances and the people are thinking scri-
ously of running him for the next lcgis-
lature.
Another writes:
,Jayyille. O. Dear Editor: How il