New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-05-19

a strolling player once took refuge
| for . night in 9 village hostelry Hi
boots were IN the last stage Of decay
and.dlae landlady Kindly, old-fash-
Toned soul on viewing them, exclaimed
to her guest: "Eh, but thae's an awful
pair o butts to gang vi, this w'ath'er. !
Madam, Z responded the broken-town
tragedian, drawing himself up to his full
height, 81 have soul above boots" q
ken. naething about hoo mony soles ye
haze abune yer butts; a. I ken is, yye hae
name ia below Them" was the reply -.
Tit. Bits
General Porter tells story Of has
farewell TO Mark Twain, once when
Mark was going away. I said, "Goodby,
Mark; God be with you always" He re-
replied: hope he-will but =
hope, too,- that he may find some
leisure moments- -to-take care--of
Herald.
A privately printed volume about the
famous Athenaeum Club, in London, just
ISSUED, has some stories about bishops,
many of whom are members of it. One
is of clerical .dignitary who, being
anxious to consult one of the fathers on
theological point, asked a servant of
the club IF Justin Martyr was in the
library" 81 don't think he's a member,
my lord," was the answer, ''but I'll go
and ask the porter"
There was once mathematical tutor
in one Of the English universities who
was il, the habit of Boosting that he
neither knew nor cared to know anything
about poets or poetry and considered it
all "a lot Of impractical rot. A GER
tain brother tutor, ANXIOUS to convert
him, gave him the famous "Charge of the
Light Brigade to read. The mathema-
tician took it up and began to read
aloud, thus: "Half a league, half a
league, half league>-"T Then he banged
the book down, exclaiming, mpatiently {:
swell, if the fool meant league and q
half, why on errth didn't he say so?''
1t is not every great man who carries
his honors as meekly as the mayor of
Inverness, who rebuked an admiring
crowd in the words: ''Frens, I'm just
mortal man like yersels."
Sir Wilfred Lawson tells the following
story: "a woman was once pursuing her
fugitive cow down a lane when she
called out to someone in front, MAN,
turn my cow The man took no notice,
and allowed the cow to pass. When
she came up she said: Man, why did
you not turn my cove He replied:
woman, I am not man; I am a mag
istrate.' "-London Household Words.
The elder Dumas, the eminent French
novelist, was not spared the severe crit
icisms which attack famous name, but
like all wise men, he was content to
treat these attacks with dignifed silence.
Not so his son. Exasperated by the
particularly severe criticisms of noted
journalist, the young man-then in his
college days-took upon himself to
right the wrongs of his father, and sent
two chums to arrange for duel with
the offender.
Calmly the journalist listened to what
they had to say. When they had con-
cluded he called servant, directing
him to tell his son 10 come to the study.
"Gentlemen," he said, s'as this appears
to be an affair of sons, and not of faith
ers, etiquette would seem to demand
you should arrange your matter with
my son. He will be here directly, and
no doubt will give you all the satisfac-
ton you wish.''
So saying, he left the room, and mo-
ment later the Journalists, son entered
"a child of three years, in the arms of
his nurse.--Harper's Round Table.
Differs With