The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1897-07-10
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doesn't look bit like them. Detroit
Journal
Yes" said Uncle Jonas, that boy o. .
mine allus wus fond O. books, an now
he's becom' n page in the legislature
Philadelphia American.
Quericus-Do you know why this Is
often called cold world? Cynicus-
TO distinguish it from the next, sup
pose.-New York Journal.
'Robert-Is Harry fond of female so
ciety? Richard-Immoderately. I've
known him to play whist with three
women.-Boston Transcript.
did you read that magazine article
on The Working of a BankY mo. Is
it by an ex-bank president or an ex-
burglar" Enquirer.
THE Turks seem to have a mighty
poor opinion of the Greeks" Yes;
that accounts for them running 'em
down. Cleveland Plaindealer.
Livingstone never takes any interest
in euchre unless diamonds are trumps."
why is that?" HE is a baseball
crank. louisville Courier-Journal.
Few men have any trouble in meet
ing their CREDITORS" says the Manayunk
Philosopher, but they do have trou-
bic in lodging them. "-Philadelphia
Record.
Hell must have a kiss for every cara
mel. dear. She-Some men would have
bought a whole box instead of that
measley little paper bag full.-Detroit
Free Press.
Julia, have you bought a new spring
suit YETI" mo, I'll have to wait until
next month; Dick had to buy a new
spring gun and two new spring fishing
rods this month"
He-Just listen how that hen cacklesl
She doesn't know how little one egg
will sell for. She-Perhaps she does.
She may be advertising a bargain
Somerville Journal.
Mrs. Jones-Wake up, John! There's
someone trying to get into the house!
Jones-How do you know? Mrs. Jones
The dog has stopped bowling. Hurry,
John!-New York Journal
Mr. Crimsonbeak-I don't believe a
man ever stole anything but he lived
to regret it. Mrs. CrimsOnbeak-You
,tole my heart once, John. Mr.. Grim
eak-Yes.-Yonkers Statesman.
Joe got the inside track of his wife
this year" What did he do?" HE
read her a whole lot of newspaper
stories of men who had dropped dead
beating carpets. Detroit Free Press.
KerrlgaH--Pha good fer a cowld
Casey-Hov yez got tn proice Nv two
hot WHISTLES about yez? Kerrigan-Oi
how not. Casey-Will, thin, Kerrigan,
ut wud be a mercy not t tell yez.-
Puck.
Walker Fart thought your next
tour was to have been through South
Africa. Count d'Ties-It was, but the
company struck. One of them had
read that an ostrich egg often weighs
a dozen pOunds.-Puck.
Amanda (alighting from her wheel a
the roadside, where Mortimer awaits
, her)-Have l kept you waiting long
dear? Mortimer-Long? Many cycle!
t have passed since the hour appointed
: for our meeting-Judge.
"You see, it was this way: They
were all three so dead in love with hel
and all so eligible that to settle the
matter she agreed to marry the ont
who should guess the nearest to he
age" And did she| 81 don't know
= | know she married the one who guess
ed the lowest. Pearson's Weekly.
A hereditary liar: Mrs. Jackson
OATS sebenteen lies yo's tole me toe
+ day. all diffrunt. Yo' am a regular rap
o skillion. 'Rastus Jackson-W- wha,
/ am a rapskillion, nanny? Mrs. Jack
: SOMA rapskillion am young 'un dat
+ got his ladders blood in him-dat'
a whad a rapskillion am.-Judge.
n "You don't mean to tell me you hav
l. gone and got engaged to two wome
S at onceY' Yes, but it really amount
n to only one engagement-half an Ell
s gagement for each girl" Twin 70
r please explain" why, certainly
L Each of 'em is engaged to another fe
d low."-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune
I. A vindication: 81 don't understan
n why you dislike Herbert so,' said Ms
+ bel to her father. 81 don't think he ha
e any ideas of finance" 81 am sure 20
wrong him. He is devoted to 1t. II
stopped right In the middle of his pr,
posal to me to ask how your bushes
was getting along. Washington Sta
Mrs. Commensurate (soberly)-Al
you sure your f1ancee will make a GOO
home-body, Eli? Do you think 81
knows anything about mending, for Il
stance? Cholly Commonstalk-Abol