New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-08-25
Tales Of H.ulIl11or

President Lincoln, when he was q
young lawyer Spracticing in the courts
Of Illinois, was once engaged in . case
IN which the lawyer on the other side
made a very voluble speech. full Of
wild statements to the jury. Lincoln
opened his reply BY saying: Ny friend
who has just spoken to you would be all
right if it were not for one thing, and I
don't know that you ought to blame him
for that, for he can't help it. What I
refer to is his reckless statements with
out any ground Of truth. You have
seen instances of this in his speech to
you. Now the reason of tins lies in the
constitution of his mind. The moment
he begins to talk all his mental opera
tions cease and he is not responsible.
He is, IN fact, much like little steam
boat that I saw on the sangamon river
when I was en- gagged in boating
there. This little steamer had five
foot boiler and seven foot whistle and
every timeit whistled the engine stopped.
A newly appointed Georgia justice Of
the peace was informed that some one
had stolen his horse during the night.
He was not long in locating the crlmi-
nal, who was speedily brought to trial,
| when the justice said: ~ -
81 amt qualified ter set on this case,
SEEM as the horse was mine; but I'm
goin' ter let the bailiff preside, an while
| he's a-tryin' of the criminal I'll be out
yander a-stretchin' of the rope an loca-
! tin of the tree!"-Atlanta Constitution.
Not long ago servant living in Der
byshlre gave notice to leave her situa-
ton, informing her mistress that she
was about to be married.
AS the time drew near for leaving she
addressed her mistress thus:
"Please, mum, have you got girl yet?'
"No, Bridget; why do you ask?''
"Because if you haven't I should like
to stay"
"What! 1 thought you were going to
marry the sweep"
ooh, yes, ma'am", replied Bridget,
hesitatingly; "but when l saw him after
his face was washed I felt I couldn't
love him."-Answers.
A story in the Washington Star about,
paying teller in one of the banks of
that city and Georgetown belle, shows
how a man failed to gain victory over
himself because to his moral palate re-
venge was sweet. -.
He is favorite in the set in which the
Georgetown girl moves. He and she
had words-so many words, in fact, that
the girl, who is said to have more than
bit of temper, ordered him never to
presume to speak to her again as long
as he lived. She forbade HIM to recog-
nize her, even, and said that she would
make it a point to forget that she had
ever met him. -~
The other day she went into the bank
in which he is employed to have check
cashed. The blonde young man appeared
at the window. he took the check and
examined it carefully. It was a broiling
hot day. The Georgetown girl was in a
hurry. She hadn't an acquaintance with
IN half an hours walk. The young man
handed the check back. Dit
every sorry, madam" said he, "but
you'll have to get somebody to identify
you before can cash the check
A political speaker accused a rival of
"unfathomable meanness," and then, ris-
ing to the occasion, said: II warn him
not to persist in his disgraceful course,
or he'll find that two of us can play at
that game. It'd Bits.