Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1897-03-11
HAD A BAD TooTHAcHE.


companied the Complaint.
People who never had a toothache
cannot appreciate this story. And peo-
pie who never had toothache have no
business to brag about their salvation's
being secure.
The man of this story went to the
drug clerk of one of the oldest houses
In the city. This is only ON incident.
lie went there because il was nearer
than any other drug store
II want something" said the suffer
er, Ito ease my aching tooth. My dem
fist is out of the city to-day, and only
want to get Something that will stop
the pain until he comes back"
That was a cowardly lie. He knew
he had no dentist He knew that he
had suffered at intervals with that
tooth for years, and because he was
afraid of dentist. But he did not want
the drug man TO think he was a coward.
So he invented this lie in order to get
anything that would give him sur
cease from pain for the time. He knew
If he could do that he would sit down
alone somewhere and chuckle to him
self that he had won another victory
over an old tooth and without seeing
a dentist. And he could say, as he had
said before to others: 81 did not have
to go to dentist. 1 ann my own dem
list" There is nothing q man can do
of which he will be prouder than knock
ing out toothache without resorting
to the dentist.
(Which tooth is it?" asked the man
in the drug store
az don't see what difference that
makes to you. Isn't it enough for you
to know that have a toothacheP"
eff the tooth aching is back one and
has a cavity it can be treated with more
ease, and l might give you something
different for such tooth. Now, IL II
is n front"
well, it is not front one. You
guessed it right in the first place. 1t is
n back tooth-a wreck at that-and il
has cavity as big as a water main.
Now, what else do you want to know"
''How long have you had it?"
Had what--the toothaohe'or the cav
ity?"
1.-THE toothache-"
always had it. It was aching when
il cut it's way through the gum. 1t has
never done anything but ache"
"You said your dentist is treating it?"
ayes, l did say that. Dog take it,
man, what OF that? 1t has taken me
40 years to conclude to have it treated"
IF tooth of mine acted like that
/ would have it out"
would you? Say, did you ever have
a toothache, and what has this to do
with your giving me something for
this tooth of mine? What is it to me
what you would do?"
81 am fixing you something now that
will give you relief until your dentist
comes back"
The man with the aching molar
chuckled.
Here is your medicine"
"Well, any directions on the bottle"
mo. If you have had a toothache
often you will know how to use it. OF
course you won't drink it."
"Well, have taken drinks for It."
"You never swallowed anything like
this. If you had you wouldn't be here
now"
"Is that so? What is 1t, poison? Why
don't you put the skull and crossbones
on that label? I'll have you arrested"
"You take little cotton, saturate 1t
with this, and put the cotton i'm the cav
ity, and this will give you rest until
your dentist returns
"Well, what is IL? want to know
what am taking for toothache. You
druggists kill more people than the
Brooklyn trolley lines. Have you got
any cotton to 60 with it?"
~ cam give you some cotton"
IL don't ask you to give it to me.
II pay"
"Oh, no. We always give a pinch of
cotton with bottle of this medicine
pinch be bowed! 1 want bale OF
it, and want about a gallon OF this
remedy; the old thing is just killing mo
now"
The druggist gave him a ball Of cot
ton and the customer literally rushed
out, forgetting to pick up his change.
what did you give him?" we asked
water and peppermint"
The next day the customer was on
Fifth avenue when he met a friend, to
whom he said:
1--WE kept q dentist from making a
fee. / don't believe in rushing to
tooth carpenter when have n tooth
ache. 1 am my own dentist. I've won
again, old man. Cost me q quarter.
Let's go in and blow in the difference"
IN. Y. Sun.
Fashionable Buttons.