The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-09-05
BEATING THE SICK LIST.
FEIGNING INSHNITr THE FAVORED
war AMONG THE ENLISTED.
How n Cincinnati YoupE Man Got In ana Out
or the Service on tho Double Quick to win
y bet or a5OO-The FiaRpole Mania ne .
nucceaAfnl Ilnae-InnnltlnE the Chnnlnin.

= Bet or HbOO-The FlaRpOle mania ne q
successrui transformations the Chaplain,
WASHINGTON, Sept. 4.-The medical depart
mcnt Is regarded rs fair gamo by the enlisted
man In the army as we'll rs in tho navy. Ir
both services there is n fixed penalty for the
military crime Of malingcring-n word, by the
way, that is now tonversationnlly obsolete IT
the services, and hardly ever employed except
in written official reports beating the sick
list" being the modern fashion Of referring, by
both officers and men, to the crafty work Of the
malingerer. IL is not often that the malingorer
is brought to book, however. owing to the cN
IRENE difficulty usually encountered by the sur
gcons In proving an absolutely clear case against
him. To establish a case against n malignerer
Is generally n job OF such proportions that few
military surgeons have the heart TO attempt 1t.
1t is not alone for tho purpose OF escaping
duty that tho enlisted men Of the two services
ondcavor 10 deceive the medical departments.
They quite often attempt to get out OF tho ser
vice upon the surgeons recommendation.
Tho ~feigning Of insanity has often been sue
cessful within recent years in cases of men who
wanted to doff their uniforms without DESERVING
or buying their discharges. There wal an ex.
traordinary case of this sort at one of the West.
ern recruiting stations in 1891. In q large
batch of recruits that arrived one morning at
thO was u NCll-euuCHUCu, CllDpeT-D u1lL
young chap from Cincinnati. He was in ep.
pearance and manner 80 far and away ahead of
tho other fellows in the batch that he caught
the eyes OF the company Captains at once. and
each OF them wanted to get the promising look.
ing recruit into his company. The Captain of
tho company to which the recruit was assigned
called the young fellow into his orderly room
at once and made "a good deal OF him.
On the same afternoon this recruit from Gin
cinnati was reported missing from mis- company
roll call. The Captain instructed the first ser.
geant to institute n search for the man. Sew
eral men were detailed for the work of hunting
him up, and they searched tho whole post high
and low without finding him. Then tho guard
was notified Of the recruits absence, and the
sergeant Of tho guard was directed to find him
and put him undor arrest. A corporal and SOW
eral sentries provided about the garrison for an
hour without discovering a sign Of the missing
recruit. While the corporal and ~sentries were
still out on their vain search the bell of the
guardhouse telephone rang furiously. Tho
telephone communicated with tho m
Ing officers quarters alone. and the command
ing officer was at his end in force.
us that you, sergeant OF the guardi' he In
quircd. well. come over here instantly with
about twenty files of the guard. and have EN-
load their guns with ball. There's a damned
raving lunatic Of a recruit taken possession
OF my quarters. Come in n hurry
The commanding officer explained after
ward what had happened. On returning
from his Office TO his quarters he was sur
prised, on approaching tho house. to hear piano
music, and remarkably fine piano music at
that, issuing from his parlor. All OF the MEM
bers OF his family. including his daughters,
were away on q visit to another post, and he
kpn,, shat kta ,,;lJln o-1l $780,.
ways visiting her cronies on "Soapsuds row"
Mt that hour OF the afternoon; moreover, none
Of his daughters, and certainly not the servant,
could produce such music: so he did not know
what to make OF 1t. He walked up the steps
and through the wide open doorway In n hurry,
the music still continuing. When he entered
the parlor he saw a good looking soldier seated
at tho piano playing q Chopin nocturno with
great feeling.
What the dev-' the commanding ofiee
started to eXclaim.
Just q minute. Willie" said tho soldier.
turning to the commanding officer with a bea-
tiflc smile. and going on with his playing; don't
interrupt me until l finish this grazioso move.
ment: then Ill be at your service. mo man
ah!" and he finished his performance with a
mellow chord. and wheeled around on the stool
to face the commanding officer. who was on the
verge OF apoplexy.
"Confound you. what's the meaning of all
this blankety-blank-"
Softly, softly. me man." said the good look.
ing soldier with appraised hand and a sudden
look OF seriousness on his countenance. "You
don't want to find yourself in the guardhouse,
do you'll Well, III have you there in just three
minutes II | hear any more OF such language.
What the deuce do you mean by forcing your.
self into my quarters, anyhow III tell you
what, Willie, the sooner you get il through your
head that I'm in command OF this garrison"
The commanding officer had enough strength
LEFT to reach the telephone in the next room and
cinnati followed him into the room and stood
smiling while the commanding officer talked
IN turn the tables on you, Willie. when the
guard arrives, y he said. and then he walked
over to the sidG6onrd and poured out two, stiff
drinks OF brandy from the decantcr. Mean
time. Willie, you may drink my health and my
success as General commanding the
handing the commanding officer the glass when
the sergeant and %sentrics entered the room nj a
turiously. but the men of the guard overcame
him, and in n few minutes he was in a strait
jacket in a guardhouse cell. The post surgeon
visited him and 4t, once pronounced the man a
ravinG maniac. The recruits people in Gin
cinnati were notified of his condition. Tho
manufactures. He used his influence with
the War Department so that the military au.
thorities turned his son over to his keeping for
treatment IN IA private sanitariun.
Tho young man did not require any sani-
tarium treatment. nor did he 20 to any sani-
tarium. lie was an incorrigiblc, known in
Cincinnati as the swiftest PAGER in n wild lot
OF youths: and when his father took him from
the post guardhouse to Cincinnati he related
how he had made II $500 bet with another in.
corrigible that he could enlist in the United
Sta'cs Army and get out of the service within
ten days, without either deserving. buying his
discharge, or using any political influence what
ever. lilo won the bet, with three days to spare.
a soldier belonging TO ono CT the Idaho in
fantry companies worked the monomania dodge
%clcverly enough n few years ago, and got his
discharge from tho service rs an incapable un.
tit for military duty: Before entering the SER
vice he had been II telegraph lincman, and when
he came TO tho conclusion that he had had
enough OF the service no developed an uncon-
trollable mania for climbing TO the top Of tho
tiugpole on the post parade ground. He sc-
cured II pair of linenian's climbers. One evening
Mt dress parade he had been excused on account
of illness. When the soldiers were passing in
review before the commanding officer at this
evening function the ex-lincman was seen To
rush across the parade ground In the direction
OF the fagpolc, and In a jiify he had scaled 1t
to the very top. lie paid no attention to the
commands that were bawled at him to como
down out o. that" but pulled u small pair OF
field glasses from his blouse and began TO survey
the horizon. He gave no ear even TO tho ON
manding officers demand that he descend in