The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-02-19
GANTT's DOSE OF BOUILLON.
Leads Him to Discourse of States
Men, the Drama, Art and History.

Men, the Drama, Art and History.
T. l., G. in Piedmont Headlight.
Bob Floyd returned home from Column
bia yesterday, and brought back news
from two of our members of the legisla-
ture-Dan Miles and Bud Lancaster. He
says that both of our distinguished friends
have of late become hopeless victims of
the Bouillon habit-Bob pronounces 1t
"Bunywhauger" 1t seems that Dan has
taken up a notion that this new drink is
a brain food, and will introduce bill re-
Quiring that the cooler in the rotunda of
the capitol be kept filled with Bouillon, in
stead of water. He argues that in thirty
days he can make Calhoun, a Hayne
or McDutfie out of the most insignificant
one-gallus member in the House or Sem
ate. Dan cites Lieut.. Gov. Insolvency.
as a shining example of his theory, who,
until he came TO Columbia, and began to
lmDibe his new-fangled drink, couldn't tell
a point of order from a plow-line, or rec
ognize whole troop of parliamentary
laws If he met them In the middle of the
road. But since coming to Columbia aud
discovering this great brain fertilizing
beverage, insolvency has developed into
the finest presiding officer our state ever
a glass of Bouillon ne feels like a brag
cotton patch after a summer rain with
600 pounds of guano TO- the acre under il.
He says you may talk of fish being a
brain food, but one glass of Bouillon will
furnish more mental fertiliZing properties
than the entire whale that Jonah swal-
lowed. In Georgia the legislators use the
goober for a brain food, while those Flor
Ida solons try to brighten their minds by
chewing sugar canei but it seems that
Bouillon
But it seems that our friend Lancaster
mas acquired a craving and unnatural
thirst for this new drink, and Buds
friends are going to see If they cannot
induce the Kelley Institute to add Bouil-
n WI iglr h Inc a
tobacco antdotes. Bud says that three
glasses of Bouillon makes him feel like
not only paving up the very paving stones
on the sidewalks in Columbia, but that
he could butt locomotive off the track
| asked Bob Floyd If he took any Bouil-
mo sir-ree!" was the prompt reply
Fuss rye is good enough for me-.
And speaking of Bouillon carries me
back to the night Cor rather nightmare)
when Mcsweeney took me to that Two
orphan torture at the theater. While
my thirst for amusement was left as
parched and dry as the Desert of Sahara
/ made up for this disappointment by az
qulring rich store of information. The
Columbia theater boasts a new drop cur
tain, which is justly the pride of that city,
for II is not only an art treasure, but a
regular geographical kindergarten. 1t rep
reSents a scene upon the Nile with the
pyramids located about eight inches from
that historic stream.
Now We have been taught that the Pyr-
amlds OF Egypt are the greatest engineer
ing marvel in the world-the largest of
them known as the Pyramid of Cheops
covering twelve or thirteen acres. and
that it has 203 steps, the lower ones being
4. feet 10 inches high. Its masonry, after
the outer crust had been removed to hujld
the walls of Cairo, amounts to 50. GOO
cubic feet
But we have all been Sadly and shame
fully deceived about the dimensions of
those pyramids, and l am glad to straight
ten the thing out. At the outside fha
largest Pyramid cannot exceed 81 feet
hnf AVnFN aFsr nf t.
Egyptian IN boat. As the man is not
over two feet from the base of The Pvr9
mids, there can be no perceptible discrep-
ancy in the respective nights of the two
objects. AS near as could measure with
the naked eye, / would say that the boat
man was one and a-half inches higher
than the tallest pyramid / also verified
my. estimate by palm tree. with red trunk
and sky blue leaves-a most wonderful
discovery in the vegetable kingdom.
I am indeed glad TO straighten out his
tory. One by one those old world won
dors, which we so greedily swallowed in
our childhood days, are vanishing before
the light of truth and the march of mod
ern research. We all remember the school
book description of the maelstrom that
terrible whirlpool off the coast of Nor
way, which would gobble down the larR-
est vessel afioat as easily as Mai T. w
Stanland could swallow a raw oyster IL
Is now an established fact that this mael-
shoal, which can be crossed in a birch
bark canoe. And then those frightful
rocks, Scyua ana CharybdiS, in the
straits of Messina, which were the
terror of ancient mariners. They are
nothing but what Savannah river boat
men call 'nigger-heads, and a half dozen
dynamite cartridges would blow them ont
OF existence. And then again, those
mammoth grapes of Palestine, where Il
took two men to carry a single bunch
swung on fence rail. We have all seen
that picture in our Sunday school books
Well, the truth Is, those Holy Land cranes
are just the size and dimensions of little
liver pills and you could hang an aver
age-sze bunch on a match. A calculation
made In regard 70 Soomon's temple dis
large as the new Carson building, oc-
cupied by the Bee Hive, and not nearly
as substantially built.
And now that old Pyramid gag has also
been exploded by the enterprlsing artist
who painted the drop-curtain In the Co
lumbia theater. our low country friends
need no longer pilgrimage to Egypt to see
those pyramids, so long as the lndustri-
Gus gopher beauties their landscape with
his humble mound