The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-09-26
FEAR IN f.
Ono Man Tells or the Desperate Rnort II Took
In Hts Case TO euro II.

In Hts Case TO Cure IL.
Here's to tho Grand Old Party" said the
clubman. as he raised his glass. His companions,
numbering three, followed suit thirstily.
"You fellows still celebrating the result Of
the Republican primaries r. asked a fifth man
as he Joined the group.
No. answered the man who had proposed
the toast. I'VE are drinking every half hour
by a stop watch to the G.. o. p. and are wonder
ing whether any mar over went through a war
without finding out at one time or another how
1t feels to DO a coward. Some of us think there
never was such a man; others have been con.
tending that hundreds of mon fought straight
through the civil war on each side without ever
knowing a qualm Of personal fear. What have
you to say about 1t. Coloneli You certainly
ought to know for you were in it from start 70
finish"
"Yes, ought to know" answered the Colonel.
land l do know. l was q lad when 1 enlisted.
/ shall never forget that day. My father had a
fine country place ur the river then. I had Just
passed my seventeenth birthday. There was
nothing but talk. talk. talk about the war and
enlisting. and l got very much aroused on the
subject. slipped Off to a little island near by
carly one morning and staid there alone that
whole day thinking the matter over; when I
went home that night my mind was made UP.
would steal away down to the city next day and
enlist. did.
when l got back homo the next afternoon I
was shaking in my boots. for / had no idea what
my mother and father would say to me. You
know 4 young chap always tackles his mother
nrst under those conditions. So 1 went In to
whore mine was busy with her household duties
and said:
"'Mother, Two enlisted
HI dare you do such a thing 7 sho an.
Ryyarpd anDr,l- nyl .h,,kL -. II. 49,
Il can't tell you how miserable I felt over the
way she took the news. because my boyish heart
was ull OF the cause. made my way hesitat-
inRiy to my fathers study, opened the door and
What Is II. young man = he asked.
Father. I've enlisted I answered.
hadn't l should have disowned you and he took
my hand in his. Then no looked at me hard.
and before l knew 1t he gave me the kiss that
" started in as a Lieutenant. My father was
influential. and he saw to that. When I started
the feeling Of fear was, and experience taught
me that all soldiers went forth with the same
ii nep %s fr.. as sfir nSM I c8WSp e sar my mind mind dur y r
just rained lead across our heads. Every time a
came whiEzing of his shoulders as sure as
shooting. ! got scared. / gould feel myself
putt ps8i is s.sS ioa .ie'a al rn Of to @ I sHdd %s L eG Same to ha ms
Lnat tne men under me knew that / was scared.
This thought loosened up my tongue and Joints
abit Then 1t flashed over me that 1t would never
DO ior me TO let my men know that I was afraid,
and that must do something to prove that /
was not. What could l do The man next me
poKed his head up at that point and a Mimic
ball took him right between the eyes. A cold
sweat broke out on Inc, and I was ready to col.
lapse, when all Of a sudden IT came back to me
that all would be lost: that / should DO
ina eS., Il 1 let my men 60 on think;
glasses and with 2 shout leaped to the top Of
tho oreastworks. l raised those glasses to my
eyes. and for q second our enemy almost stopped
one end OF their lines to the other.
Come down from there, YOU damned Iittle
TOOL! said a rough voice behind me. and I was
1srked back into the ditch by a powerful force,
DO you want to get killed = 1t was my ColoneIs
voice and his hand that saved me. What did |
see through the field glasses Not a thing. |
was too scared. A blind man could have seen
more. but ] saved my reputation. Many times
after that | was frightened in battle, but never
so much 80. and ! never shirked. From that day
until the war closed my men adored me, and
they thought that l never knew what fear was
during the whole of those four bloody years."
What did they think allied you that day i"
1t went the rounds In my company that
had an attack Of heart trouble answered the
colonel with a laugh. land | never took the
trouble to correct the story. II was true in a
way. for l was so frightened that my heart al
most stopped beating. It's bosh to talk about
any maj going through a war without feeling
rear. Any brave old soldier will tell YOU OF ex.
perlences such as | have told"