Barton County democrat. [volume] (Great Bend, Kan.) 1885-1915, 1897-09-02
rERRoRIzEo BY a WOMAN.
A Big Man Made to Sleep In the Chick
en- Coop.


en- Coop.
A very tail and powerful man, wear
ing brown suit and with face covered
with fuzzy growth of whiskers, made
a hasty appearance on Dogberry Row
the other afternoon in search of JUS
tice of the peace. AS several of these
worthy dignitaries of the law were
about their offices, he was not long in
finding one. He shambled hastily into
Squire Nickerson's Office, where the
latter was sitting with his legs cooked
up on his desk sweltering in the heat
Look here" he began, 81 want you
to come with me this yer minute. You
know me; I'm the man what bought
your place"
Certainly said the squire in nom
committal way, at the same time rub
| bling his head as the idea struck him
that the man wanted to get married
and desired him to tie the marital knot.
ST want you to help me git rid of
| woman. Use any process you've got to
| tear her away from me, but for Gods
| sake, jedge, help me git rid of her."
The man was big and husky, but it
was plain that he was scared almost to
| death. The squire waited until he got
| through shaking and then asked:
rs she your wife?'
''No, but I would have married her in
| few weeks, but now I'm afeaped TO.
| The fact is, jedge, she's the an-fredest,
| dangdest woman you ever saw. have
| had her at my house doing homework
| and I thought I'd marry her, but I'd
sooner risk my life with Hottentot.
No. no, you don't ketch me marryin'
her. I'll see her wheresit's hotter first.
What I want of you, jedge, is to help
me git rid of her. Take her away from
my house; anything to get her away.
I amt with much, and the Lord knows
I don't owe her a blasted cent, but I'll
| give her $S5 if she'll go away and leave
| me-"
IF you don't owe her anything why
do you want to pay her to leave your
| house?' asked the squire.
| NWel1, it's because wouldn't want
people to know tits because I'm
| afeared of her." was the reply. ''She lit
into me the other day, jedge. and licked
me black and blue. 1 can show you the
,dangdest blue place you ever saw where
| she belted me with her foot, jedge,'
and he proceeded to lay bare his
body, but was stayed by the arm of the
law, who said that it could all be taken
| for granted. 'sMore than that" he went
on, "she locked me out of my own house
the other night, and / had to sleep all
night in the chicken house with the
| chickens, while she was in the house,
This was too much for the dignity of
the court. The squire fairly roared with
laughter and nearly fell off his chair.
| He did not blame the man for not feel
ing especially tender toward his in
tended bride. But he added, sober
ing up, ST don't see how can help you
I can have her brought in here and
fined for assault and battery, but she'll
be right back after you when she gets
OUT
The man looked thoroughly down
cast. "Well, if you don't help me some
of the other fellers that okkepy your
position WILL he said, as he broke out
to hunt another squire, but he could
find none who would serve a writ. He
left Dogberry row looking the bluest
of any man alive, and it is probable that
he gave the chickens a rest and slept in
the hog pen the next night. Squire
Nickerson says that he lives along Fail
creek east Of College avenue, but CON
corning the deep domestic mystery the
squire knows nothing more than the
man himself excitedly revealed. Nc
man on earth was ever more terrorize6
by a woman.-Indianapo Sentinel