Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1897-02-01
Fl .Al|Il
q e 9

He's sure to call him down.
New York Journal.
Every woman regards the confession
of young man that he is striving to
be better man as equivalent to pro-
posal.-Atchison Globe.
Maud-What makes you think Maj
Dulwit is in the signal service? May
Because whenever he appears the con-
versation fags.-Judge.
Strawber-''Why do you think you
will have any trouble in keeping the
engagement secret?' Singerly-"I had
to tell the girl, didn't I?''-Puck.
She Every time one Of us girls gets
married, father plants tree on his
estate. He-A much better plan would
be for him to plant a house there
Life
The Doctor-You'H be all right soon.
The Victim-Glad to hear it, Doctor.
I'd hate to die just now, when I've only
had the wheel three weeks.-New York
World.
Rural Raggs-I've been readin', Tatts,
about that South Sea Bubble, an what
terrible thing it was. Tramping Tat
ters-What was it, Roory-a soap bub-
ble?-Puck.
Mr.. Coldwater-A man could not Of
fer me a greater insult than to ask me
to take glass of beer. Colonel Bour-
bon-Nor me- neithah, sah.-Indianapo-
lis Journal.
JJII ink ha VIZ
| fore Prisoner have had that honor,
your honor; l shaved your honor last
week. Judge-T Twenty years.-Hart-
| ford Times
$50 you feel you cannot marry him?"
| eyes, am fully decided 'Why, don't
you like him?'' "Oh like him well
enough but can't get him to propose"
| Harlem Life.
Paterfamilias (walking the floor with
son and heir)-Babies, they say, are
such helpless things! But what do they
think of me? Talk about helplessness!
Boston Transcript.
'"There is poetry in everything"
mused the editor "Now, there is yon-
der waste basket" And he laughed, as
he sometimes did when he was all
alone-Detroit Tribune.
After the ball: She-Did you notice
dot Mrs Leviski, der wife Of der Dawn
broker? She vos cofered nit tiamonts!
He-Yes; I'm efery Won of dem vos
DRAWN interesd Puck.
He (angrly) there any fool
! sweet on you before [ married you?
She-Yes; one. I'm sorry you reject
ed him." "But 1 didn't reject him; I
married him."-Dublin Freeman.
Nopurse-"I proposed to Miss Many
millions Christmas eve" Gotbills-
Shall [ congratulate your Nopurse-
81 don't know. She told me she wasn't
Santa Claus; and that's all she said. =
Puck.
Teller "Confound that fellow Cheek
leyl I hate to do him favor" Askins
-"Why SOP Teller-''Because, when
ever 1 do, instead Of approaching it, he
fiatters himself that has worked me. =
| Puck
1.-THE farmer needs something else
more than seedless fruits" remarked
Shopper, who had spent several weeks
in the country. ''What does he need?"
asked Kilduff "Crowless ROSTERS. =
Vogue.
Il hate to bother you, Pop; but, re-
ally. I'd like to know" well,
what?" 'How it happens that baby
fish don't get drowned before they've
learned to swim ?''-Harper's Round
! Table.
What chumps these old-time fellows
| must have been. They used to write
| and talk by the hour about the value OF
a collegiate education" ''Well?" "And
they never heard Of football. "-Cleve-
land Plain Dealer
| ''Waddington, l notice you don't talk
much when you dine out" No; it
takes all the brains | can muster to
work things so l won't come out with
an oyster fork for my after-dinner cot
fee.''-Chicago Record.
Shutdown every since Old Soak Wis
| tied Yellowstone Park, there's been
remarkable echo up there" Sunup-.
"Nhat is it," Sundovn-"If you shout
What win you have?' it will answer
Whisky Chicago Tribune.
Bacon-'.It's funny you don't rider
Egbert-"rm waiting until they have
BICYCLES built for two" Bacon-''You
can get tandems now" Egbert-'T
know; 1 mean a bicycle built for two
dollars.''-Yonkers Statesman.
New Roomer (sarcastically)-'Ts this
oil +bn coan there is in the room ?"
Landlady (decidedly)-"Yes, sir; all
will allow you" New Roomer-"Well,
III take two more rooms. I've got to
wash my face in the morning. '-Balti-
more News.
80 you are going to marry your en-.
ployers daughter?" "Betcherlife The
old man has worked me eight hours Il
day FOR the past ten years. and now I'm
going to work him tWenty-four hours a
rrA%