The Wheeling daily intelligencer. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1865-1903, 1897-05-06
HERE AND THERE

Many jokes are told on tne HlaHUtI
out rural brethren celebrate their holi-
day visits to the city, and it is story
which tells OF the TWO rustlcs, who had
time" one glorious Fourth or Is
cents The story runs that each bought
drink. and with remaining nickle Sc
cured cigar. which the divided, then
lighting w they staggered IN each
others arms saying in unison Gosh.
but wouldn't our wives give us thunder
f,h-y Knev how VIC bowed ourselves"
Something similar 81 the old yarn &C
CURED one day last week, when & tall,
lark gentleman from some distance
back Of the river, inquired Of officer
NcCausland the way To the Baltimore &
Ohio depot. said he to Joe" Mister
Policeman. I'm lost. an I'm skeered, AN
I want TO ri, home. fer he" business to
Where are yon froiG and what are
you doing here?" was put TO the stran-
Tim from Claysylle, my names
Brown Lee. an come 10 town fer
quarters worth o beer.
Well. did sou get the beer" asked
"Jor
Yes. Stree i've got the three bottles
o beer IN my pockets, Ter when I'm
doin' business. see that It's done
now. al wont is the railroad station,
an cverythinE'll be hunky dory in
ClaySville tonight.
As the officer started him down 10
Water street. Mr Brown Lee thanked
him kindly. and as he babe him good
bye. said; I'D ofcr you drink. sir.
but these three bottles are fer a crowd
Of us fcilerK, an mebbC we Won't have
n time to-nlght-whoopce!'
And he had turned the corner.
Three bottles Of beer would hardly
moIsten the pnlatcs or Wheellng's mi
taled, but as the Prohloitionist would
say: Where ignorance IS bliss It's
folly to be WISE
There Is roof painter In Fulton who
has a keen eye TO business, u things
don't come his way. he gets behind them
and pushes them his way. He con-
trpls all the painting done In his baill-
wick, and II grieved him sorely r few
days ago, when a Wheeling painter got
the fob Of painting the roof Of n large
slaughter house In Fulton. The Wheel
Ing man soon had the immense roof
shining In all It's glory Of bright red
paint, and the Fulton knight Of the
brush grew red with envy, ns lie gazcd
m the work he wanted to do. But ak
said before he has an eye to business,
Hli when he saw the rain pour down a
Few days after the roof had beer nm
ighed, q merry twinkle danced In his
business eye. sHag
Fulton. West VIrElnin's, "Porkopolls,"
rcvels in gore at all times. Beneath It's
shades the festive porker and tho lively
bullock are led to the slaughter block.
Buckets OF fresh gore are easy Of access,
az the Fulton knight Of the brush"
knew well. So with the dawn Of the
day following the rain. he HE'D him to
the buckets. got one. and BY tho aid OF
his brush daubed lurid strcaks Of car
mine along the sides Of the building.
underneath the roof which his Wheel
i1g brother had painted. Replacing
the empty bucket he called the proprlc
tors attention to the spectacle. and
said Aha! you GIf der schab to der
N"eling man. you see how der roof
wash m Dot d0nd't was der way nit
my paint, but der Veellng man Is n
humbug"
He didn't need to say anything IN fact,
Tor his object was gained. He was
told 10 give the roof another coat OF
paint And It II said that he did climb
up IN the roof. and did scnd In bill
ana got his money; but 1t Is also said
BE- didn't paint II again.