davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
QUAD'S QUEER TALES.
A Courteous Affair.

l don't suppose there was ever more
genteel and courteous affair on the bor-
der than the little fracas that happened
between Deadwood Bill and Long Jack
IN 1868. There was bad | BOD between
them. and one day they met in Prim-
rose City.
Lets see, unused Bill as he looked
the other over. "haven't we bin intro
duced at some timer
''We hev," was the smiling reply.
"If In not way off, you ar the critter
called Deadwood Bill and one of the
best shots in the west. ~
"Ab, thanks! And I'm takin it that
YOU ar the galoot known as Long Jack,
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Got There at Last.

Got There at Last.
The old man stood, white haired and
ahivering, on the corner.
''I've jest come in from the country, -
he explained to stranger who stood
near, IAN I'm a-goin ter visit my boy
at West End, an I want ter git thar in
time fer his wife ter cook this here liver
fer supper; killed fine beef jest fore
I left. Which car must takef''
''The one with two red lights. re-
piled the stranger. ''It'll be along after
awhile. -
The old man waited. Car after Car
passed in succession, but one red light
was all they carried.
He stopped every motorman, but they
could only inform him that the Car he
wanted was just behind and would reach
him before daylight.
Then he sat down in the doorway of
the gas Office and fell fast asleep.
Later on a policeman reused him. He
stared stupidity around until his gaze
rested on car which was within ten
feet Of him. He saw two blazing balls
Of red fire glaring up the track, and he
made leap for them, closely followed
by the policeman.
The conductor grabbed him by the
coat collar. and as he fell sprawling on
the platform he cried:
"Hurrahl Got her at last, by jingsl
Six pound er liver an two red lights''
Atlanta Constitution.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
A Pane of Glass.

While King George Of Greece was
staying at the Park hotel, in Wiesbaden,
few days ago, he noticed window
pane upon which his father, the king of
Denmark, had cut his name with dia-
mond. King George took off his OWE
diamond ring and engraved his name
below his fathers. A few hours after
ward the czar saw the window and i'm
mediately cut his name. Then came the
kaiser, who added his name to those of
the three royalties. A British diplo-
matist and an American millionaire are
now striving to outbid each other in
order to get possession of the illuminate
ed piece Of glass.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16

who has allus outjumped, outhollered
and outfit everything he bucked up agin
in this glorious kentry."
Precisely. Glad to see you, Bill.
"And glad to meet you, Jack. I take
it that you ar gentleman
EUR shore"
"So'm I, That makes two gentlemen
Of us When d. you want it to come
off?'' ---,'--.----
"Ob, any time--that is, I'm goin'
inter a game of poker purity quick and
may not be through before 2 O'Clock.
Kin ye wait till 2?''
"Sartinly Make it 8 if you say so. "
"No; two will do. It's mighty kind
Of you, but one gentleman never keeps
another gentleman waitin. Call at the
Buoktail saloon when you're ready"
At 2 o'clock that afternoon Deadwood
Bill approached the Buoktail saloon
with gun i'll either hand and sent a
man in to ask Long Jack if he was
through with the game and ready for
business.
"All ready and bin waitin l5 seconds
fur him." was the reply as Jack stood
up in the middle of the floor and pulled
his guns Then, turning to the proprie.
tor Of the place, he said:
''Sam, hope this little affair won't
put you out any,"
"Oh. no. no!' replied Sam. "Just
go right ahead and never mind me-.
''Sorry to disturb any body" said Bill
to the crowd of dozen around him at
the door, "but I'll get through with
this matter as quick as possible.
Then he took running jump and
landed in the saloon, and there was a
rapid "popl pop! popr" for go seconds.
Then the fusillade ceased, and the
smoke lifted to reveal two dead men
lying ON the floor.
''Boys," said Sam to the men who
crowded in, 1T was fair fout and a
genteel fout. They died like reg lar
gentlemen.
The crowd stared at the faces of the
dead and nodded approval.
fAnd they shall be buried like gen.
tlemen," continued Sam. Here, you
Chinese heather, take this dollar and
go out and dig two holes and plant these
gentlemen on their backs and give em
elbow room to shake hands in the next
world -
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Unfortunate illustration.

"Now, Johnny, what is the meaning
Of the word 'hypocrisy?' asked Tex
as Sunday school teacher Of her favor
lite pupil, Johnny Chaffie
"Ican't explain what it is, but know
just the same. ~
"Give me All example of hypocrisy. :"
"When fellow says he loves his Sun,
day school teacher, that's hypocrisy. ="
Texas Siftings.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Ahead OF His Time.

81 lived 100 years too SOON"
From spectral cloud in the hereafter
the shade Of Napoleon scanned the
earth.
"If had known If had knownp'
he murmured necessarily.
with bicycle corps Of energetic
scorchers would not have done thing
to those Russians. y
Then he assumed the pose which he
made famous at st. Helena. Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
A Predicament.

A Predicament.
There is great news from France,
/ can tell at a glance
Yes, hoopskirts, my dear, will be worn in the
dance.
But, pray, do you know
How a latter day beau
Can dance with girl who Is hedged about sof
My Caroline
In crinolinef
Oh, no!
With an odor of scent
And smile Of content
Each maid will appear like a small circus tent.
Where's an old beau to teachf
Bring him here, beseech,
To explain how you waltz with a girl you car I
reach.
My Caroline
In crinolinef
No, mol
Tom Hall In Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Puzzled Him.

"When Miss Ferguson saw that button
Of yours with the motto Oh it, If you
love me, smile, did she smile?"
"By George, she laughed as hard at
she could laugh, and l didn't know
whether to follow it up or not. Chi.
cago Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16

She Heard Him.

Wife Cat breakfast st)-Oh, John, I'll
bet know whom you gave your seat to
coming home in the car last night.
John (who had been out all night hav
ing quiet little game with the boys)-
Oh, don't be so foolish! How could you
,ver guess? Are you mind readerf ]
don't believe gave up my seat at all
Wife-Yes, you did. You dear old
boy, you let poor old Irishman have
1t, for heard You say in your sleep,
"Oh. that's all right. I'll stand, Pat. I"
New York Journal.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Well Qualified.

Chicago Editor--Are you the new re-
porter!
Chicago Reporter-Yes, sir.
''I'm going to send you out to write
mp wedding. Ever have any expert
ence at weddings?"
"Been married nine times, sir. -
Yonkers Statesman.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
A New Way.

'The bicycle craze has reduced by
more than half the membership Of our
sewing circle"
In the process of evolution it was in
evitable that there develop better and
an easier way to run people down. DE
troit Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Happy Ever After.

They had been talking politics. Mel
ther OF them knew anything about 1t,
but of course that made no difference.
II am a strong party man." he said
at last, but there are occasions upon
which would strongly favor fusion.
Now at the present time I'--
"This is SO sudden" she said softly.
However, have been brought up to
believe fusion right and proper, and
and-you might speak to papa. Chi
caqo Post.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Light on the Subject.

''You don't mean to say that that
stingy old spinster has given you 10
marks for telling her fortune?'
Indeed do. I told her she would
meet with an accident before she was
"a years old. "-Fliegende Blatter.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Tho Pr CO of Silence

She (after giving him kiss)-You
mustn't tell any one.
He-Why?
'Oh, don't knowI I'd rather give
you another than have you tell. "-Bos-
ton Herald.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
a New Departure.

MRS. Digby has husband that RI
ly thinks something of her. "
"What has he doneP"
why, instead of betting to win a
hat for himself on the election he bet a
new bonnet for his wife. ''-Chicago
Record.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Obi

Employer chastity resuming his die
tating as somebody comes into the Office
What was my last word?
Typewriter Girl somewhat rattled)
Your last word was darling. Chi.
cago Tribune.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Painfully Provincial.

''Uncle Hiram, did you find the New
York people intelligent?''
"Waal. they knew heap bout New
York, but they didn't know a blame
thing bout the rest o. tn country. -
Detroit Free Press.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Not Popular.

Old Man-Yes; there's bin a lot o.
changes. Old Squire Muggins is dead.
Soldier-Dear me! What complaint
Old Man-No complaint. Everybody
was perfectly satisfied. Sketch.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Its Rapidity.

Capitalization fast can your ma
chine gun be discharged?
Inventor--It can be fired almost as
rapidly, SIR. as the average small boy
gabbles his bedtime prayer ON a cold
night. Truth.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
More Interesting.

Attorney--You say that you witnessed
this alteration?
O'Hara (on the stand mo, sor; Oh
didn't see thot. Oi was busy lookip at
tn foight. ht.-Memphis Scimeter.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16
Personal Rather Than Political.

what was the crime of 1878, pap
II married your mother that year. I"
Town Topics.
The Neihart herald. [volume] (Neihart, Mont.) 1890-1901, 1897-01-16

< 1t gives us pleasure in showing
you this line, as our prices are down
with silver, and we are confident we
can save you money, by buying from
us.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04
AT POST SAM HOUSTON.

This post, the second largest in the
country, is also the headquarters of the
military department of Texas, Brig.
Gen. Zenas r. Bliss commanding.
The upper post is the headquarters
of the Fifth Regiment of U. S. Caval-
ry, Col. James F. Wade commander.
Besides troops d, e, + and X, of the
Fifth cavalry, and the regimental
band, there are also located here COM
panies A. B, c, E. f and G, of the
Eighteenteh infantry and Light Bat
terry X, of the First artillery. The
troops at the post number about 700
men altogether.
The upper parade ground is Fort
Sam Houston proper and where the
flag staff is located. The lower ground
is the one nearest the city.
Infantry drill ON upper parade
ground every morning Except Sun
day. from 9 to IL o'clock.
Cavalry drill every morning Except
Sunday in riding hall back of lower
parade or at target range from 7:30
to IL O'clock
Infantry dress paradeS full dreSS)
are on Tuesdays and Fridays on the
upper parade ground at 6:10 p. IN.
Cavalry dress parades full dress))
on the lower parade ground every
Wednesday at 2:30 p. m.
Brigade review and inspection on
last day of each month on lower pa
rade ground from to 1890 a. m.
Guard mount on upper parade
ground daily at 12:45 p. m. Open air
concert daily after guard mount by
Fifth cavalry band in bandstand on
upper parade ground.
'Reveille" at 6:35 a. m; retreat" at
600 p. m.
The public is invited to view all of
these exercises.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

1t is rumored that the silver Repub-
licans on the tariff revision committee
are playing lone hand in the framing
of the schedules, and make their sup
port of the measure depend upon a
into the bimetallic arrangement a re-
bate of Is per cent. on the duties they
would otherwise pay. This is handi-
Gaping the protective policy of the
country with vengeance. The Re-
publican party may well be in earnest
in its prayer to be saved from it's
men of the treatment Of it's Republican
friends.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

When the Supreme court of the Unit
ed States decides, that the dog is not
domestic animal, in the sense that
sheep and horses and cows and such
are, then the decision of that court is
open to criticism. If the dog is mot
useful" then the members of that
court do not know the kind of a dog
to put on the stand as a witness
against that decision. Ask the Scotch
shepherd or the monks of Mount St.
Bernard, or the keepers of life saving
stations what they think.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The ambassador Extraordinary from
China to Great Britain for Jubilee pur-
poses is in quarantine at Victoria, be-
cause small pOX is on board. The rest
of the passengers have been fumigated
but his eXcellency swears by the pig
tail of the emperor of the Flowery
Kingdom that there is going to be war
if his sacred person is touched, and
the authorities have wired Ottawa for
instructions. If Chang goes back he
may lose his head, and he may lose it
any way Small loss.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Governor Culberson will offer a re-
ward for the apprehension of the Wal
Ter county lynchers. This is timely
and necessary, for there is every rea-
son to conclude that the lynchers hung
at least two innocent people, and there
was no need of lynching under the cir
cumstances as there is not n doubt that
the criminals would have been dealt
with according to their deserts in the
courts. The lynch law IS only an ad-
vertisement that the courts cannot be
depended upon to execute justice on
criminals, and Texas does not want
thus to advertise herself unneccessa-
rily.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04
A FINE BARGAIN.
Cash Price only $500.

Consists of lot 50x156 feet, east front
house rooms, hall and bath, front
and back gallery, oil finish, hot water,
f1ues, all household goods, good oil
cloth on hall, dining room, and kitch-
en-. carpet and mating in two rooms
Place for feed, buggy, horse and COW,
2 chicken houses, over 100 chickens,
nicely fenced vegetable garden, hy-
drants, good set law books and office
furniture, grapes and figs, bearing,
peach, plum and shade trees. quiet
neighborhood, free from dust and cool
in summer, running water in corner
of lot for horse, COW and chickens, 10
minutes walk to courthouse or Aran-
sas Pass depot, and under late ordi-
nance scent car fare to any depot.
All virtually new, and good houses all
around it, should rent easily for $500
unfurnished. Apply at 211 Bots Dare
street. 4-26-1t
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

When the juries are dismissed from
consideration as parts of courts and
justice relegated to bench of judges
who shall be judges alike of the law
and the evidence, then there will be
less danger of the miscarriage of pros
ecutions and. less likelihood of the in
reference of a Iawless mob to execute
swift vengeance upon offenders.
construed and punished. That Waller
county case is a poor advertisement for
Texas.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04
IT SAVES CHILDREN's LIVES.

Whites Cream Vermifuge insures
your child against one serious danger.
1t promptly rids it of worms. 1t acts
thoroughly but is just as harmless as
a children's remedy should be. Has
been sold for years and received the
warmest praise OF grateful mothers
everywhere.
If your child is peevish, restless, if
its breath is bad, If it picks its nose
or starts in it's sleep, suspect the pres
ence of worms. Health and right
growth cannot come until the trouble
is removed. Cream Vermifuge cannes
fail. Price % cents. Sold by E
Reuss and G. Schasse. ,
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04
TUESDAY, MAY 4, 1897.

Hon. 10. Chamberlain, British secre-
tary for the colonies, in a long state
ment under oath before the commits
sioners, declares that until the day be-
fore the Jameson raid he had no init
nation of any kind that an incursion
into the Transvaal was intended. He
is entitled to the benefit of his state
ment, at least until there is sufficient
evidence to the contrary to vitiate it..
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Galveston News thinks that the fee
bill was made Objectionable by amend
ments, for the express purpose of so
bringing it into disrepute that it would
not pass the governors chair. In 9TH
er words it was made a feeble fee bill
in order that it might be the more
quickly killed. To this ignominious
end has the boosted Democracy of the
Lone Star state at last descended.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The little thing helps along to great
erones, and it is to be hoped that the
continuation of the Gulf Shore road to
Stockdale is but the beginning of the
movement toward the Brazos that
will end upon the shores of that stream
near the gulf. That road will open to
this city a splendid trade and aid in
developing one of the richest sections
of the state.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Houston Post finds redeeming fea-
ture for President Mckinley in the
fact that he loves a game of baseball.
If the Post were capable of rising to
the level of the president in other
things as we'll as in this it might find
other things to commend also. Live
and learn.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

There is really no improvement to
the situation in the lower Mississippi
valley and the dwellers in that region
are in a deplorable condition, business
ruined, no crops possible, disease GER
tain to follow the overflow and every
thing gone for year to come
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

France is banking on the trouble
that is brewing between Germany and
Great Britain in South Africa, but
Germany is making herself solid with
Russia for offence and defence and
France is not going to make any capt.
tai for herself out of the quarrels of
Great Britain.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

With more than 1000, 900 acres in cotton
and this is the estimate of the season,
Texas surely should gather more than
100000 bales, and yeti this is the high
est estimate of her production. There
is something wrong in the matter of
cultivation. The soil is good for more.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Houston Post with it's usual incon-
sistency pushes for home Industries, not
rocking that in order to this these in
dustries must secure home patronage
at the expense of foreign productions.
That this is the alpha and the omega
of protection the Post is certainly not
unmindful of.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Why in the name of the almighty
in order for the United States to turn
the hose on Cuba and put out that
Spanish fire as it is for Europe to turn
on the hydrant and drown out the
Greeks in Crete? What is the differ
ence under the sun?
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The Princess of Wales is hot over the
manner in which her brother King
George of Greece has been left out in
the cold by Salisbury, but she seems
to have no means of redress. George
is related to nearly all the crowned
heads of Europe and seems to have nc
friends among them.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The state Legislature true to its de-
termination to balk all legislation that
is of the least service to the people,
has knocked out the bill authorizing
the employment of the short time con-
victs on the public roads. There was
more merit in that bill than in it's de-
feat
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The Cubans are giving good &C
count of themselves in their recent
movements and Weyler will have to
do some fighting in dead earnest or
continue to near the beginning of the
end
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

There is largely increased area of
land in Texas put in corn this year.
The crop is not likely to prove a full
one, but a good yield is certain under
ordinary moisture conditions.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04
TO CORRESPONDENTS:

All communications for this paper
should be accompanied by the name Of
the author, not necessarily for publ
cation, but as an evidence Of good faith
on the part of the writer. Write on
one side OF the paper in a plain hand.
Anonymous communications will not
be noticed. The Light will not be re-
sponsible for the statements Of its cor
.espondents.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04
h,0I--nrrSL,:r, RATES.

One !..,h, U.-s tll4u, $l.UU, one week,
$3.50; one month, $500; three months,
$500; six months. $500: one year.
$500.
Legal advertisements 800 per inch
each insertion. Trustees sales Toe per
inch first insertion, Soc per inch each
insertion after.
Reading matter, Editorial page, 25c
per line each insertion; Local columns,
zoe first insertion, 10c first week, DC az
ter frs week. Special rates on % and
100 lines running for a month.
Home advertisements payable on
nrst OF each month. Transient adver-
Using payable in advance. ONLY
METAL CUTS PRINTED.
Special rates gwen on larger space
and long time advertisements. Dis
count given for CASH.
L.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

France seems to have despaired of
Russia ever helping her to recover AL
SAGE Lorraine and now she turns to
Great Britain. She will get even less
in that quarter. John Bull knows
what.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Not a decent measure has been pre-
scented at Austin this year that has not
been killed. The redistricting bill, the
fellow servant bill, the fee bill, the
election bill, all lost or emasculated.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Turkey will not be allowed to take
the Greece out of Euorpe, but he will
be we'll paid for the trouble he has had
in rendering it. That old Turkey struts
to some personal advantage.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

President Mckinley gathers to him
self credit as a man of superb common
sense. That is the kind of a man that
is wanted at the head of national af-
fairs at the present time.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Foster thinks that the May rains
will be fully equal to normal in Texas
this month. If they are, or a little
advanced beyond that there will be
corn to feed to stock this fall.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The Rio Grande has taken the alarm
and comes up raging along with the
other rivers. 1t does not propose to
stay in bed while the others are out
for high.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

The daily press is superseding the
religious in the way of religious news,
even to the conduct of the Sunday
school columns and the reviews of the
coming lessons, golden texts, etc.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

Scores of Spanish officers are leaving
the island, i'll health being their osten-
sible excuse. 1t is suspected that their
knowledge that the cause of Spain is
lost is the real reason.
San Antonio daily light. [volume] (San Antonio, Tex.) 1886-1907, 1897-05-04

\ Santo Domingo seems inclined to
give United States free station there,
such as was advocated by Grant in the
days of his presidency. Either that
or something better is in order down
there.