The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-11-17
Rafferty, Objected.

"OrVe nothin' ty say about yer bein' a
back number Rafferty," said MIR. Dolan.
in a studied tone of forbearance. Far be
it from me ty make shport av a mans
misfortunes. oi kin be as magnollus as
the Mkt man. But 1t do give me nerves
twisht ty see anybody so proud av is
Shortcomings as yerself."
"Oi shpose," replied his neighbor, "thot
whin yez tell mo yer wolfe is goln' ty hov
u fancy ball, ye tink it's my place ty
shtand an wan fut wild me hat In me
hand an ak yez do ye name ty DO me the
honor av an invitation"
Don't be irritatin', Rafferty,. It's the
chance av yer loife ty git in wild the Four
Hundred"
rs there as many as that?"
"As many what?'
"1Iod-Carriers."
"Wait till ye see US! Hold off wild yer
remarks till ye witness the social Occa-
sion thotll outsbine any other attimp I
loike the Aurora Borealis compared till a
Chinese lanthern. 1verybodyll come in
Disguise an the couple as hov the foinest
clothes will be presnted wild u beauti eul
an expensive souvenir, wild the undher-
standin', av coorsc, thot the cork av it
will be drawed immajity, so the rest aV
the company can have sup an pass an
opinion on its quality"
Tell me wan ting" said Rafferty,,
somewhat ollihed by the prospectus;
"what cLarackter is 1t your intintion TO
assume"'
"Wull, Mrs. Do.an fought thot by way
av settin' a good example, we ought ty
| give 'cm somethin nate an classics so the
| two av us are goin as Romeo an Juliet
| Oi hov IL suit for the occasion thot is
nothin' less than Elegant; patient-leatheI
| shippers, green toights an me rants cut
| off a few inches below the hips!'
| "An' ty t'ink," said Mr.. Rafferty,, in
!
| Oi've been lookin' up to as a person aN
| principle! Ty tink av the admiration
| Oive wasted an yez as wan thot 'ud
| shtcl up fur rs opinions trough foire an
| wather! Tell me, was it you thot refused
job rather than carry yellow bricks uI
| the laddcr?'
"Oi did that" was the reply, "an' ord
! do it again."
| "An' are yez the same man that hoy
| been known ty celebrate the seventeen
! av March all the way from the lasht aN
| February, off an on, till the middle ay
April?"
"Oi can't danoi it,"
| "An' whin you an Mrs. Dolan wor in q
| Restaurant, didn't yez say the flavor aN
| that green oice cream wOr chotin yez
but ye'd buy two more dishes for love aN
| the color?'
| That's wan av the proudcst episodes ir
me family history, Rafferty,. Oi don't SCI
| as yeve offered any good rayson yit who
| OF shouldn't be Romeo"
"Git the lookin glass, Dolan, an shtudy
yerself Do yez intind ty advance the
oidee that Romeo had lip an i'm lolke {
clam shell, and thot he marched his whis
kers single file under his chin. from eal
ty ear?"
"Av coorse, OF don't undertake ty car
ry any handicap in a beauty race"
"An' yit, Dolan, faint yer looks Oin
t'inlin' about so much. It's yer national
ity. Who wor Romeo? He wor an Eye
Italian. Oi hov it shtraight from tht
school house, where me daughter attlnd
regular, thot he wor wan av the most un
naturalized Dagos thot iver Gem over
| Shtick ty yer green toights, but troV
away the sword. Put a black-thorn il
yer fist, Dolan pin bunch av shamrocl
an the front aV yer shirt, an, fur th
love av heaven an the good av the cause
| label yerself Brian Boru! "-Philande
| johnson in Washington Star.