The Anderson intelligencer. [volume] (Anderson Court House, S.C.) 1860-1914, 1897-04-07
All Sorts Of Paragraphs.
"Will YOUR father make q

think not have six sisters.
-"I would send you kiss, papa,S
wrote little Lucy, who was away on sI(
visit, "but I have been eating onions. .'1
= There are 4S different materials
used in constructing piano, whieR
come from no fewer than l6 countries,
- She-Yes, I am very fond Oh
pets. He-Indeed |! What, may | ask, &
is your favorite animal? She (frankly1t
Man.
= BARRIERS say that ghey can tell
which side man habitually sleeps onif
because his mustache grows longer on5
the other side. FL
A law has been passed in Wal
deck, Germany, forbidding the grant
ing Of marriage license to a person
addicted to the liquor habit. IS
= Father-in -law-Do you save any,
thing up for rainy day, young man
Son-in-Law-Yes, sir. "What TdSs
like to know ?'' "Umb1ellas. q
= For infamatory rheumatism, dis
solve into a pint of sweet oil, ond.
ounce of pulverized saltpetre, andS
thoroughly rub the parts affected.
= The name of Maine was given to |
that State descriptively since in the 1
original charter it was considered
"the Mayne land of New England. - ~
Said little boy, who, during 4
visit to Florida, was obliged to drink
condensed milk: Mamma, I just
wish that condensed COW would die. =
Benedict-D you think man
will have bad luck if he gets married
on Friday? Bachelor-Oh, 1 don't
think it makes any difference whether
it's Friday or not.
Andrew Bair of Warfeldsburg,
Md, is vigorous and active man Of
SO years. He has not eaten pound
of meat in all his life, his diet being
strictly 7egetablo 4sis s5sSs
| "A man wiz rle for want Of air5in
FIVE minutes, Ior want Of sleep ten
days, for want of water in a week, and
for want of food at varying periods,
dependent on circumstances.
-"Who is the master Of this house2"
asked the agent Of the man who an-ys
swered his ring. "Weil," was the$i
cautious response, in resigned tone,
81 am tie husband and father. 4;
"A Kansas young man has caused
the arrest of girl on the charge that
she "did suddenly, forcefully and ms
tentionally hug him, thereby causing
him great confusion and mental an-5
guish.
At Coggins mill, near Sisson,i
CAL, the loggers cut a tree a short
time ago which was estimated to be-
just 404 years f age. It was 8 feet in
diameter and produced $4,000 feet Of I
lumber.
The average man takes FIVE and..a
half pounds Of food and drink each
day, amounting to one ton Of solid and
liquid nourishment annually. In 70s
years he eats and drinks 1,000times:
his own weight. 81
-"I tell you," said rabid free
thinker, "the idea that there is God
never came into my head. sAhl d
precisely like my dog. E'ut there is
this difference-he don't go around
bowling about it,
-"Step right in, ladies and gentle
men !" cried the Snowman. Step
right in, and see the educated pig add
and subtract r' "Pshaw y interrupt
ed Farmer Backlots. ''My old hog at
home has got way over to square
root"
-"I have come to ask for your
daughters hand, Mr.. Herrick, said
young Waller, nervously. 20, well,
you can't have it," said Herrick.
"I'm not doing cut my daughter. on
the installment plan. When you feel
that you can support the whole girl
you may call again. Z
= Rather neat way Of stating an
awkward fact was adopted by recent
applicant for pension. The appli-
cant had been wounded while his reg =
iment was in retreat. but he did not
say it that way. 81 received my:
wound" he said, "while marching
rapidly in front Of the enemy 3
1t will be an agreeable surprise I
to persons subjectto 10 attacks Of bilious,
collie to learn that prompt relief may
be had by taking Chamberlain Collie,
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy. In
many instances the attack may be pre-
vented by taking this remedy as soon
as the first symptoms of the disease
appear. 25 and so cent bottle for sale )
by Hill-Orr Drug Go.
A good joke on school ma'am
comes from Cumberland Gap, and is
told by the Middlesborough (Ky.)8
News. 4 lady teacher told one Of the
boys to name all the Presidents, and
when he replied he couldn't the teach
er said "Wben I was as old as you'll
could name all the Presidents in their
order" The boy replied t'There
were only few Presidents then" &
Two sorts Of Christians make
most of the trouble in a church. They
are like the walters; in a certain restau% Il
rant, who stumbled into each othe3E
and smashed some crockery. One was;
absent-minded and the other was
cross-eyed. The cross-eyed man said,
angriiy, "Why don't you look where
you are going p The other retorted,
"Why don't you 60 where you are
looking p
c. The police of San Francisco have
recently been enforcing the law pro-
hibiting work on Sunday, especially
against Chinese laundrymen. One
Sunday recently, as a large load Of (
these oeffnders was being carted to :
Jail in the police ambulance, a resident
Of the Western Addition asked the
reason, aud WAS informed by a police:
man. "Yep," grunted a disgusted
Chinese, who stood near, "man workee
Sunday, he go Jail, 'gainst law workee
Sunday. Mau no workee, he go jail
yag. Anelica Leap hell of country
= An Irish priest had labored hard
with one of his flock to induce him to-
give up the habit Of drinking, but the
man was obdurate. II tell you, Nj
chael, said the priest, "whiskey is
| ~,ou, uorcf opayny ,n1 Won chould