Delaware gazette and state journal. (Wilmington, Del.) 1883-1902, 1897-05-13
BlB'S BLITHESOME BABBLE
The Woman Who Lives for Her
Teeth and Her Dlmples.
WHEN STARCH Is AN AB0MlNATl0N
Ways of Making the Mouth Elk.
tremely Ugly.

Lips Drawn Together SO That They Look
Like the Clasp OF Stool Purse--Jaws Set
so That They Rival the Best Breed OF Bull
Pur--Favorite Words OF Smart Girl Chairs
which Combine Beauty and Deception.
Special Correspondence of Gazette and journal
New York, May 7. Somebody said
that no woman must talk much, for ae
sure as she does, she will draw her
Inns together in fashion that's I'M
Incoming. In way. / believe this,
hut in another way, I don't. The
woman who can talk we'll fails in her
duty il she does not talk often, but
there are ways of making tho feminine
mouth, which ought to Look like a
rosebud, extremely ugly. There's a
little French word, "riante,s' which,
freely translated means laughing, and
expresses exactly how the mouth of a
woman ought to look. 1t doesn't mean,
however, that a woman should get in
the habit of snirkipg aud present a
continual grin to the masculine world
that stares at her. Think OF the women
whose mouths have interested you.
There's the woman who is usually
spoken Of as being very firm, and
having decided opinions; she expresses
them by drawing her lips together, so
that they look like the clasp of ajsteel
purse, and setting her jaws aa ii she
were trying to rival the best breed of
bull pup. That's the sort OF a woman
you want to have as an acquaintance,
but not as friend or sweetheart.
Then, there's the wUman-- thank
goodness she's generally English -
who has been told that her teeth are
good-so they are-big, strong, useful
and white. and she parts her lips and
smiles with the amiability and exactly
the expression Of rather large horse.
II you doubt me, look az any picture
of George Eliot. Then there's the
woman who lives for her teeth and her
dimples-shs opens her mouth to show
Ola and she contracts it to intensity
the other. II you speak TO her about
bright woman she asks right away,
elf you noticed her teeth. !" Ii she
discusses the heroine of book she
wonders that the author said nothing
about her mouth or her dimples, and
every actress, as far as she is con-
Gerned, is good or bad, not from the
standpoint Of art, but from that Of tile
dentist. When she has photograph
taken she hesitates as to whether she
shall show her teeth, or her dimples ;
and she generally compromises by
making bargain permitting her to
have the two styles for very little more
money, aud in one . she is deeply
dimpled, while In the other she smiles
until you feel you can count her teeth.
The woman with beautiful mouth
has the pinkest of lips, the whitest of
teeth and the most sven. but they
simply fash occasionally when the lips
are open, for after all, there is only
one pOetical thought given to teeth,
and that is the comparing them to
pearls. Pearls amount to little. unless
they are brought out by good setting.
just remember that, oh! maid of the
teeth and dimples! and when you are
about tn grin-don't. E..s. \.
II is certain that starch has value
in the commercial world. Then, too,
it is of use to make those powder bags,
used by people who refuse to recognize
the value of fine face powder. but
who strain at gnat and swallow d
very enormous camel, by banging a
starch bag at their faces and gaining,
as result, something very like the
pictures raved over by the impress
sionists. You know what l mean.
Those pictures where the shy is a
bloteh of green, the grass il a pale
lavender. and huge lump Of pink
paint and another of black, represent
two lovers parting or course, the
lady is another mans wife. You
wouldn't know it was two lovers part.
ing, unless you had that ability to
read the meaning of paint daubs
peculiar to this school of art. But to
return To starch. | never knew O
laundress who wasn't generous with
starch-in the wrong place. The
typical Madonna OF the washtubs makes
your handkerchiefs and the upper part
CT your petticoats as stiff as boards,
while your collars are as limp as 9
defeated candidate. Then, there is nc
such abomination on the earth as
stiffly starched frock. 1t is the Joy oil
the laundress. The girl who wears il
may be cool, chat is doubtful,) though
she will never convince the world al
large that she is anything but al
aggravating blot on the landscape.
The muslin froek adored by the
poets, was certainly, what the darkies
call, "slinky." If it bad any acquaint.
ance with the washtub 1t had none
with starch, consequently, when q
heroine's syiph-like form was EN-
braced, the frock didn't rattle and an-
nounce what was going on to the
whole neighborhood. History, as vel
as the Encyclopaedia Britannica, tellt
US that the old woman who invented
starch was hung as a witch. Was there
ever living being who denied thai
starch was product OF the Evi
Spirit? 1t ruins the temper and makei
every woman feel commonplace. Yor
may have the most beautiful petticoatt
in the world, but il they're going tc
make dreadful noise as you walk b,
the side of your adored one. you viii
yearn to ask him il he would mino
immersing you in the first watering
cart that happens along.
Starch and the wielders OF it arr
possessed of clover demons. About thu
belt of ones petticoat will be solit
pound of it, while the frills will bt
entirely free from it, That part Of tn,
collar which is hidden undor the gowr
will be stiff and calculated to hur
your innocent flesh, while the uppe
part will be soft and entirely lacking
in the stuck-up element. The worst O
ii all is. that, give laundress prett,
lawn and lace matinee to do up, chargl
her not to let II see even the outside O
starch box, and you can bet nine t,
one that it Will come back with thu
savings of years, in the way of starch
lhvished upon it, and when you nut i
on you will feel like sandwich man