Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1897-12-10

is suggestive of young married wo-
man who wasn't onto her job, As one
would say in refined circles.
In this connection last fall heard
it remarked abort camp fire that
cooking, and especially pastry cooking,
was somewhat of lost art among
Eastern girls, and 1 myself can recall
the case of Cleveland girl who be-
came suddenly ambitious to help her
mother in the kitchen.
She would bake pie with her own
soft, little hands, and when George
came around in the evening he should
be treated to piece of her very own
baking The idea was just too lovely
for anything.
The dough was kneadcd and the pie
gotten into shape and put in the oven.
With smile of serene self-satisfacti ton
the young lady retired again to the
parlor to allow her effort to mature.
But somehow in putting in the in
gradients she mstook the bottle of
glycerine for the lemon extract, and
when the explosion occurred and they
picked the pie off the ceiling and gath
cred up the fragments of the stove
from the yard, her father decided that
she had better have kitchen out of
town, where she couldn't do any dam
age except to blow piece out OF the
city limits.
Explosive pastry is unhealthy, either
before or after taking. Just think
how embarrassing it would be for
young fellow who had eaten some at a
party, for instance, to have the explo-
sion occur in the middle of the waltz.
He would be obliged to leave his part
ner with only portion of his anat-
omy in her arms, while the balance of
his works were sent flying out into the
conservatory or made to plug up sew
eral chords in the piano. The young
man would be SO mortified after such
an occurrence that he would likely
never go to a dance there again.
However, as was saying, come out
here anyway, dear girls. We love the
whole of you. But this invitation
does not necessarily imply that we will
send you the money to pay your fare.
Nit! The boys here are trihe eau
tious in that respect ever since Curley
Hambly sent the requisite dough to
bring out his old Ontario girl. She
came all right, but she married an.
other man entirely. Then Curlev
wrote to my paper for advice as to
how to get his money back.
If remember rightly, the love edi-
tor had just gone out, but in his alb
sence / tried to give Curley some kind
of a soothing answer.
"Yours is a plaintive case, Curley,"
l wrote, "and when you come to
newspaper office for advice and COM
fort we are not the ducks to say you
nay. We keep a job lot of good,
wholesome comfort always on hand,
and you can tear off this piece and
rub it on the sore place. As for ad-
vice, the newspaper Office is proven
bially rich and liberal with this com.
modify. We are glad you came to
this paper. You might have gone to
our jim-crow contemporary across the
street who has a roller coaster in his
head, and got your busted heart and
shattered faith ripped up the back by
that coarse wretch who doesn't know
the difference between the throbjul
yearnings of an affectionate nature
like yours and the hole in a stale
doughnut.
"We have kept our thought ware
house busy for several nights trying to
pry out solution of your unhappy
predicament, and we are now prepared
to tell you on the quiet that you will
fool yourself muchly indeed if you try
to get either the money or the girl
back. In the long run you are going
to be a winner on this deal; it's the
other fellow who will have the life
long kick coming. A girl who regards
moral obligations so lightly before
marriage will, after she snakes hus-
band, 60 through his pockets with n
dexterity and thoroughness that will
leave them looking as bare as a de-
faced beer check. You will get your
money back, dear boy, but it will be
in the shape of the salve of revenge.
"In the meantime shake hands with
yourself over your lucky escape. and
be assured that this advice is rendered
by one whose girl rent his soft-boiled
heart athwart and scooted with a
coon."
THE hobo who comes in the print
ing office and calls for exchanges has a
new explanation for the use of them.
When asked if he wanted the old
papers in order to read the society
notes or to find the location of bath
house, he replied: Nav, de side door
sleepers on de roads are so dirty that