The Kootenai herald. [volume] (Kootenai, Idaho) 1891-1904, 1897-09-25
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Miss PassaysT' Il don't know. She's
not so bad as she's painted.
Up.
Mamma, if 1 am good will go to
heaven?" Mamma: Eyes, dear"
How'll get back ?'-Cincinnati Com
mercial-Tribune.
Waiter, it is almost half an hour
since l ordered that turtle SOUP"
Waiter: Sorry sir, but you know how
slow turtles are" It'd
Greeble: rs that your baby?" Craw-
don: mo, sir; the possession is on the
other side. He is not my baby; I'm his
father" Boston Transcript
''Why did you manufacture this bad
money! the magistrate said sternly.
Cos | couldn't turn out no better" re-
piled the counterfeiter.-Tit-B its.
''She was born with silver spoon in
her mouth. and suppose she's got to
be pretty" Isn't there a limit? What
if it was tablespoon '-Detroit Jour
nal
Bacon: What do you suppose is the
meaning of this long rain?" Egbert:
"Oh, 1 think possibly it is out of COM
pliment to Queen Victoria. "-Yonkers
Statesman.
my darling, 1 always feel like TAX
ing off my shoes when 1 enter your sa-
cred presence" well, 1 would rather
you did it now than after we are mar
ried."-Life.
Fuddy: II never ride tandem wheel
unless l can have the rear saddle"
buddy: That's funny" mot at all.
l don't care to have anybody talking
behind my back."-Boston Transcript.
Fair poatess: think, only think,
how many possibilities there are con-
tanned in this dingy case of type"
Proofreader: Yes, just so; especially
of typographical errors. "-Somerville
Journal.
Doctor" asked the seeker after
knowledge of the clergyman, "why do
people get on their knees to pray in
stead of standingY' "They want to
save their solos," replied the clever
minister.-Harlem Life.
"Oh, mamma" the beautiful girl ex
claimed, "he adores me so, and he is so
noble and handsome and" Yes,
my child" "And he brings such lovely
references from his last wife."-Detroit
Journal.
The butler: bland hevery night at
the hour of midnight the ghost hap
, pears and groans and wrings it's
: hands" American tourist: "Ahl Must
o have died in the cucumber season.
! Cincinnati Enquirer.
"They may say what they like
: against him." said the convicted ones
p defender, but his heart is in the right
. place" YES" assented the other,
y land so is the rest of him, for a few
. years. indianapolis News.
Mrs. Tenspot: isn't 1t odd that the
. encores are always much more enjoya-
n BILE than the regular Plumbers of the
: programmcY Mr.. Tenspot: Yes, il
is. l wonder why they don't sing the
encores first."-Judge.
There" said the man of schemes, sis
a limit to the liberation of the public
And you found it," "Yup. 1 met a
total frost when l started out with q
lecture on How 1 Intend to Find the
+ North Pole indianapolis Journal.
Reporter: How many years have
you been in public lifeT Statesman
=; 'Twenty-four." Reporter: But you
I biographer says twenty-eight." States
:. man: He includes four years when
was vice president."-New York Jour
nal.
II "Oh, say, Proudly, l was very sorr!
to hear that you had lost all you
- money" "Lost'all my money! snorte'
- Proudly, and he produced a roll tina
- filed his fist. Let me take twenty til
tomorrow, old man."-Detroit Ere
Press.
: "When 1 grow up, nom, want 20
to make minister out of me-" 'Why
Is Johnny. l am glad that such is you
desire. 1 will speak to your fathe
n about it." "Yes'h; want to go to Ell
or rope every mmer"-Cleveland Plat
on Dealer.
he what did that man do to make hin
n self so famous?" asked the altrurial
Ii gazing curiously on an individual VIII
&c, formed the center of a social groul
in "To the best of my knowledge" reptile
Use the cynic, che did the public" -Wasl
he ington Times.
Ia, The dentist: would you like yor
ill teeth made with patent adheslN
springs? They hold each set perfect
true" The humorist: 81 don't know
1t doesn't seem quite right to mix L
A.. the true with the false in that MAJ
] -