Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1897-12-23
A CLOSE OBSERVER.

A CLOSE OBSERVER.
THE YANKEE DRUMMER's STRAIGHT
TALK ABOUT EUROPE.
Information About London, Paris and Ger
many From Big, Red Haired Mamie
Saws He Kept His Eyes Open-Do You
Think He Did?
"Greater New York is going to be
bigger than London, remarked the lit
tie man in the cross seat with an air OF
wisdom.
"No, Stree, it isn'tp' said the big red
haired man who sat alongside OF him as
he busted an invisible speck from his
new coat. cit won't be marker to
London. I've been there"
"What-to London?"
"Sure, 1 have. 1t was three years ago,
and l know what I'm talking about.
Now, it's strange fact that there are
some fellows in our business that'A
travel all around and never see any
thing. I always keep my eyes open IN
strange towns. 1t gives a man things to
talk about and it broadens him. I"
The little man began to eye his COM
panion with new interest. He pondered
his sage words for minute and said:
"How'd it happen?"
"Why, it came about just after l left
YOU at St. Louis. I returned to New
York and brought back with me $50, 600
worth of orders. That pleased the tlrm,
1 can tell you, for no one was doing any
business in those days. Our foreign buy
er was i'll and as was pretty well post
ed on what the trade wanted the firm
said to me-
"'Here, Jones, you go over to the
continent and do our buying this win
ter DidI go: Well, does duck swim?"
"WEere did you go?" asked the little
man.
London, Paris and Germ'ny."
"Say, what kind of town is London
anyway? I've always wanted to know. !"
"Well, I'll tell you on the level. It's
a bum, two for cent place. It's no
good, and that's straight I've been
there Don't you let anybody fool you
about it. You can read all OF this jubi-
lee stuff you want, and if any one tells
you London is any good you just tell
him that Jones said it was on the bum. !"
The little mans face frightened up,
evidently from the delight Of getting
authoritative statements first hand, and,
with the air of a man who wanted to
improve each shining hour and add to
his stock of knowledge, he said:
"Tell ME about London. Is it any
thing like New York;
mot bit. know all about the
town. It's % years behind the times.
It's like New York was before the war.
Why, honest, now, there are whole
rows of houses that look like they were
falling down The streets are dirty and
crooked, and all houses are built flush
with the street I couldn't do any bust
ness there at all They are a saving
lot, those English. >
"Did you see any fine buildings?'
"Not one, except church or two.
Now what I'm telling you is honest.
There isn't building in the whole
town worth seeing, and if there was
you couldn see it half the time It's q
dirty. foggy place and not fit to live in.
1t an old apple woman Of town. Ev-
erybody in London drinks ale or gin.
I'm telling you straight, it's OIL the
bum.
"Paris is bigger, isn't it?''
"Well-er-no Not exactly bigger.
London is a whaling big place and
don you make any mistake. l rode
right straight ahead one day from in
the morning until . in the afternoon,
and | was in London all the time. Par
is is different. l got some great bar
gains there -
N..Did you take your wife with you to
paris?'
mo; she staid in New York because
l was soiag On business. l can tell you
eli :5.,:.t Paris. and you can rely on it,
or I've been there.
The little mans eyes frightened in
anticipation. and he said:
Tell me all about it-everything
Paris, said the big man in the
soHa of d .l .tfor.n orator, sis all right,
and you can say that said so. You
can live there and see the town on 16
francs a day that is $2-gOod living
too Sleeping costs you 40 cents night,
and you gtt room that would cost you
81 so III New York. Interpreter? Now,
shat 5 nonsense that you've read There
were rr of rs IN the party, and when
we ST.: sari oat we hired an interpreter
qThe.l we'd ta1en about two of them
French drinks--cognacks they call 'em,
sort Of brt.ndies they are-we gave the
Interpreter tho grand bounce and we
didn see him again. Three of those
cognacks will make you talk French like
native Fact, because I tried it. -Four
of them will make you feel as if you
had taken a $4,000 order for goods
that the firm wanted to get rid of. -
Ibid you see any interesting build
ings or places?'
'Saw the whole outfit, and it's no
great shakes. The Paris boulevards are
pretty fine, though .
The little man looked disappointed
at his friend meagerness OF detail.
Then he remembered Germany, and he
asked his friend what he had seen there.
"Now you are getting right into my
stamping ground" said the big man.
"Germany beats them all | went to
Berlin, and, say, l bought a line OF sat-
inets there that Melted the firm $40, eco.
Now, what do you think of that? Was
not that good stroke? On, | tell you
Germany is my stamping ground!
"What interested yen there?"
"Why, saw everything, and how
the Germans drink bseri Ii | hadn't
been afraid that those satinets would go