Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-10-16
BOWSER AND HIS BAR
AMATEUR GYMNASTICS PROVE Ex-
CITING IF NOT BENEFICIAL.

VI Inv IT NOI DCiSCTlSIAL,
Mr.. Bowser Believes His Arms and Legs
Are whitening and Begins Course of
Exercise-"s kinning the Cat" an Act He
Is Not Up On.
What's all this truck you had sent up
here this afternoon" asked Mrs. Bowser
as her better half came home to dinner the
other evening.
He replied that he would explain after
he had satisfied his appetite, and when
they arose from the table he removed his
coat, barred his right arm and said:
Mrs. Bowser, feel this arm, will your"
"Have you got rheumatism?" she asked
as she ran her hand over it.
"You have heard of withered limbs,
haven't you? Well, my arms and legs are
going to wither and become of no earthly
use to me unless something is done right
away. I've suspected it for long time.
but was not sure until had talk with
doctor today
care you going to take a course of
treatment" she asked.
"That' it exactly and I hope to check
the whitening business in the bud. Yes,
l am going right at it this evening. Think
what would happen, Mrs. Bowser, If my
legs refused to hold me up-if my arms
lost their strength until could no longer
feed myself"
where's your medicinef"
~ shall take no medicine. What Is
wanted in this case is exercise-plenty of
exercise. am now going to put up per-
forming bar in the garrett and do some per-
forming, according to the doctors orders.
"Oh, that's it! thought it about time
for you to get another foolish notion into
your head. II you need exercise, why
don't you do some walking-get half
cord of wood and bucksaw, buy spade
and turn up some earth in the back yard2
If some man would come along and tell
you your toes were falling off, you d be-
lieve HIM"
Mrs. Bowser, what do you know Of
anatomy" he demanded with great dig
nifty.
"And what do you?" she retorted.
Enough to believe a doctor when he
says my arms are gradually shrinking
away until they will soon be pipestems,
and all for the want of exercise. He has
told me what to do, and Pm going to do
it. If you want to shrivel and shrink, go
ahead, but don't propose to die that way.
l Shall put up my performing bar and per
FORM
She made no further protest, knowing
that words would be useless, and Mr..
Bowser carried the bundle of stuff to the
garrett and began work. In the course of
half an hour he had his bar up, and, hay
ing removed all unnecessary clothing, was
ready to begin Mrs Bowser came up
just then and inquired what he was going
to do. He leaped up, caught the bar with
both hands and swung back and forth and
replied:
"You see the object, Mrs. Bowser. The
first idea is to strengthen the muscles of
the arm. and that is done by sustaining
the weight of the body find that 1 can
sustain myself, but week later might
not have been able to. You have heard of
Samson, of course? He began on per-
forming bar like this"
"You'd get more exercise by carrying
the ashes out of the CELLAR she said as
she turned away.
"That's you, of counsel" he exclaimed
as he dropped from the bar. cts enough
that want to do anything that you should
oppose it, If you'd wake up some morn.
ing and find me withered up like an old
bean pod, you'd rejoice in your heart
You won't have that satisfaction, how
ever. I already feel better than have in
three months"
"I'll get the camphor and other things
ready" she called from the head of the
stairs
He waited until she had disappeared
and then resumed. his swinging. There
wasn't much fun in this, as it made his
arm ache, and he presently decided that
his legs ought to have show. He had
seen leg thrown over the bar in gym
nasium, and he set out to do It, He got
the swing all right, and he lifted his leg
just at the right instant, but just as he
thought he had made a success of it some
thing fell on the floor with jar that
shook the house. 1t was Mr.. Bowser. He
had missed the chang" of it. For long
minute he lay there looking mp at the
ceiling and trying to make out what had
happened. Then, as things began to clear
up, Mrs. Bowser appeared and asked
"Are you trying to break your back to
keep your arms from witheringP thought
the whole house was coming down."
Woman" gasped Mr.. Bowser as he
slowly sat up, "you hoped I had killed
myself, but only sat down to rest You
can trot right down stairs again and at
tend to your household affairs"
She disappeared, and he took three or
four minutes to study it out. He had not
swung his body hard enough, and he tried |
49, nj IL Ia he, I>o,