The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-06
He Was Convicted.

Inc next witness was called. says the
Pittsburg News, and answered the ques-
tons Of the prosecution, and then, after
an interlude of Ginning. was turned over
TO The tender mercies of counsel for the
! defense, who began:
You say you were present when the
offense alleged in this case was commit
ted. State to the courI and jury just
where the defendant was al this time"
He was sitting at his typewriter, fac
ing a window. which looks out upon the
| raging MonOngahela."
He was facing a window which looks
out upon the Monongahela river"
YES, sir; that's what l said"
Where were you sitting?"
al my desk, with my feet on it,
In which direction did they po.nt?'
Up the Allegheny
| gheny?"
Il do, and if it will help I'll say it
! again"
Just answer my questions; if I need
| any suggestions from you I'll ask for
| them"
The witness warmed UP under the col
lar and began a reply, which was inter
| rupted by the court with the remark that
| when lawyer has put one inquiry he mas
10 keep his mouth going while framing
another, or his intellectual machinery
would come to a standstil.
The witness begged the courts pardon,
| and said that a lawyer uses his mouth so
much that he thought he ought to be glad
to give il a rest when he can; that he (the
witness) did hate 10 have man parrot
| ing after him.
what was the defendant doing at this
time?'
HE wasn't doing anything
"He wasn't doing anything?"
That's 1t precisely; he wasn't dong
: :{Wea: what was he .s.- tryeg 10, 70 do?"
Eyes, yes, we understand that; but what
| were his motions. his attitudes, his be-
| havior at the moment?"
We'll, first he crossed his hands deyout-
| ly and stared hard a the machine for
while. Then he Strengthened himself in
| his chair, raised his hands TO the back OF
| upward"
What did he do that for?"
"He rubbed to stimulate the gray matter
! of his brain, l suppose, and gazed upward
'his action was for the double purpose
of stimulation and Inspiration?
| Yes ! think that is what l said
'You think you said that? ~
~ do. What do you think said?'
(Sternly) Your honor, l must INSIST
| that the witness reserve ms sarcasms LOT
| some other OCCASION
The court passes some more remarks,
and the examination proceeds 80,
! What next did the defendant dor
| He leaned forward in ms CHAIR, press
ed his lower lip into fold with ms rlSht
| thumb and foreinger, and fell 10 meditat-
| ing on the rear OF the MononSahe-a
very we'll sir; proceed"
'.He then seemed to have a hrm tall-
/
''TVhat do YOU mean by 'tail-hold?
"A hold by the tail as dl sun i Hls2 i
from hold by the horns or hlnd leg,
do l understand you TO affirm that
! joke has body and parts! -,
well, Sancho PanZa was SAID py ms
| master to drag his in, by the head and
shoulders, which implies body, ana many
| excellent people are SAID always 70 iedE <
! out the essential part when telling one.
The court here warned counsel 10 con-
| fine himself TO the case.
| II now ask you, sir, did the defendant
/ having a firm tail-hOld on his Joke, sue
| coed in drawing it out on the machine|'
"He did not: he drew the paper out
wrathfuily tore it into bits, dashed them
the bad language as SCI forth IN the m
| dictment-
Was that alp
| mo. sir.
He uttered an imprecation upon the
| folly of requiring man TO write Jokes
| mainly of cheese, which physiolog sts
| state will digest everything except ITSELF
but which, in truth. VIII not ol9est any
| thing not even ITSELF
@Preciselv what was the anguage?"
Attorney for the prosecuuon-I OBJECT
your honor; he is not on Tlal Tor or, th ma a.
| Witness-Anyhow l WouIdn l Try 70 40
justice to the occasion. - Ill,
ii0 Gon i5,s for the defense resuming, said
to the witness: ,.
Il understood you to testify at the out
set that when the offense alleged was
committed the defendant was seated az ms
machine and facing window when looks
out on the Monongahela.
| That's correct 49,
and that YOU were seated at your desk,
with your feet on it, and that they point
ed up the Allegheny"
That is correct, TOO.
"Then | infer from your description that
the defendant was behind you. Is that
| cOrrect?'
1T is"
with an air of triumph, striking his fist
on the tablet Then, sir, explain TO the
court and jury how it was that, with your
back to the defendant, you could see all
. his actions and attitudes, as you nave re-
lated them here, how you could know that
he made an ugly face when he tore the
papers to bits and dashed them on the
floor?'
Il should say that he was not immedi-
ately behind me, but a little to the left.
The light from the window falling upon
him was reflected upon the inner surface
| of the left lens of my spectacles, ana gave
lane a perfect picture of him in all his vain
struggles with that joke, and particularly
of the ugly face which he made when he
sWore that it was an outrage TO ask a man
to write jokes when he is trying to digest
cheese. when the blood which ought 10 be
| on duty in his brain has all Deen summon
| ed to his stomach"
Counsel for the prosecution tilted a book
against his nose and staggered, there was
general movement in the jury box, wills
pers among the jurors, and counsel for the
| defense stared.
4 verdict of guilty was rendered on the
spot, and the prisoner was remanded for
| sentence.
Wanted Government Job.
There was an amusing and instructive