The Winslow mail., 1897-11-27
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lilies of the field; they toll not, neither
do they spin"
"Why don't you buy ticket, instead
Of paying me money every time," said
a conductor on the Connecticut West
ern to daily passenger, who always
made it a point to pay in cash. You'd
save money" We'll" said the passen-
ger, "rll tell you. Some time last sum-
mer 1 got into little trouble with this
company; they used me mean and L
swore they should never see cent OF
my money again. That's the reason
always pay the conductors"
N. P. Willis was usually the life Of
the company he happened to be in. His
repartee at Mrs. Gales dinner in Wash
ington is famous. Mrs. Gales wrote on
a card to her niece, at the other end Of
the table: Don't f1irt so with Nat Will
lis. She was herself talking vivacious-
ly to Mr.. Campbell. Willis wrote the
niece's reply:
Dear aunt, don't attempt my young feel
ings to trammel,
Nor strain at Nat while you swallow a
Campbell"
When the steamer Queen was about
to sail for Alaska from Seattle a few
days ago, in the height of the rush to
Klondike, a man rushed down to the
purser and exclaimed excitedly: LOOK
here, 1 paid for a state-room for my
self and wife, and when 1 got there
found an old cow sticking her head
through the window" II am very sor-
ry, SIR" said the purser, 1--WE are very
crowded, but 1 will do the best I can
for you. John," turning to deck
hand ''go up on deck and turn that
COW aroundv
One day shortly after the late Adam
Black, founder of the publishing house,
commenced business as a bookseller,
a suspicious-lo looking man came stealth
lily into the store, and, leaning over the
counter, whispered into his ear: "Tve
got some fine smuggled whisky which
I'll let you have at a great bargain" :"
NO. no." said Mr.. Black, Indignantly
IL want nothing Of the kind. Go away"
The man, evidently not believing in the
sincerity Of this righteous outburst,
leaned over the counter and whispered:
''I'M take Bibles for It,"
He was very small boy and lived
near enough to the country to be able
to revel in the delights Of a really,
truly barn. 1t was his first thought
in the morning and his last at night
but the family did not know the latter
until one day a sad thing happened
the really, truly barn, with all its con-
tents, was burned to the ground. The
small boy sobbed as If his heart would
break and refused to be comforted.
"Oh, mamma" he cried, II think it was
all my fault. was so sleepy last night
1 forgot to ask God not to let the house
and barn burn down, and l never for
got it before. New York Times.
A woman who was travelling alone,
not long ago, wandered one evening
into hotel parlor. A pretty young girl
at once rushed toward her and breath
lessly asked what time it was. Some
what astonished, the woman glanced
at the big mantel-clock and repeated
the hour. "Oh, thank you," said the
stranger, but without any signs of 60
ing away II suppose you think it queer
my asking that" she burst out mo-
ment later, "but, to tell the truth, l
didn't want to know the time at all;
Just had to speak to somebody. You
see, I'm on my weddingtrip, and for a
whole week 1 haven't spoken to a soul
but my husband. Why, I've hardly
heard the sound of any ones voice but
his 1t was really a question Of my
speaking to some one or going wild"
A man Of considerable fame, a mathe-
matician, was present at function"
where he was introduced to q man
from Chicago, who expressed the keen
st joy in meeting him; for mathematics,
he said, had been always one Of his
greatest interests. Our great mathe-
matician had been working for months
on problem, and at last he had solved
it. Here was an opportunity to share
his triumphs with another enthusiast.
planned the details of the problem, and
the man from Chicago nodded his head
approvingly and enjoyed himself.
well" said he, when the explanation
was over, "as say, do enjoy mathe-
matics. But the thing that stumps me,
sir, is that when you multiply a num-
ber by fraction you make it smaller"
The late Senator Harris was cross
grained and ill-humored. He could not
endure to be crossed in any Of his pur-
poses and tried to compel everybody to
bow to his will and opinion. 1t is said
that he met his equal in the lady who
was his wife for SO many long years,
and who died but year or two ago.
1t is related Of the Senator that some
twenty years ago he and his wife sep
arated for some time. The Senator had
been out all night pursuing his favorite
pastime Of playing poker, and when he
came home at Z or o'clock in the
morning his wife naturally inquired
where he had been. To this inquiry he
responded in his usual emphatic man
nor that II was none of her business
where he had been. Later in the day
he observed his wife packing her trunk,
and In surprise asked: ''Where are you
going, my dearT' THAT is none of
your business, sir" was the reply, and
the separation occurred.
story which comes from Paris,
saws the Troy On. " Times, concern
IT, +bo Sontenca imDOSed uDOn a Dris-