The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1897-04-24

Surprises Some OF the Residents Of Crystal Falls
Early Tuesday Morning.

n uuuDtf oi ptOptt Oh NuclI way nOluc
from the dance Tuesday morning, we're
treated to a startling surprise. Night
was hurriedly rolling mp his star sprsck-
led blanket preparatory TO his diurnal,
or, perhaps more appropriate. nocturnal,
migration TO China. and the grayish pail
Tor that o'ersproad the sky near tho loot
Of Superior ayenue was reflected in the
court house windows. But whatattract-
ed the attention Of the jewellers was "A
man standing on the court house steps
apparently aiming "A long gun Mt the fast
disappearing stars.
On reaching the court house il was dis
covered that the man was Martin Bach,
who, with the assistance Of n telescope,
was searching the heavens for some OF
"the dark clouds OF war that lowered
over our land" u short time ago. lie
cautioned the crowd not TO interrupt
him, intimating by IA clonic spasm that
soon became evident that Mr.. Bach had
IA bead on something. His agitation
increased with dangerous rapidity. Huge
drops Of perspiration rolled from his
noble brow, trickled down his pants legs
and, forming n rivulet at his feet, rippled
merrily down Superior avenue. A pan
Drama OF Bull Run, Gettysburg, Fred
ricksburg and other famous fields flashed
across his war-like cOuntenancc. Great
God, ii is settlingl' he cried, making u
wild rush for home TO resurrect his army
musket.
Anxious to ascertain the cause OF the
veterans agitation, NJ. b. McGee raised
the perspective, peeped through it and
turned pale. In his hurry To escape from
the scene he stepped on his whiskers and
executed n series OF fip.flops that would
have made n circus acrobat turn q zen
with envy.
The crowd begun To grow and the ex-
element followed suit. Everybody
wanted TO look through tho instrument
at once.
Finally Village President Johnson took
the telescope, aimed it at that particular
part Of the heavens that attracted the
attention Of Messrs. Bach and Niece
and looked long aud earnestly, while
to the curious onlookers the Sec
onds snailed by Mt the rate OF two
nm hour. A quiet smile twisted
Mr.. Johnson's lips ngreeably out
OF shape and otherwise pleasantly dis
torted the front part OF his face. Why,
it's the air shipl' was his declaration OF
joyful surprise.
Az soon ms G.. II. Roberts heard the
news he rushed down To the telephone
Office, rang up st. Peter and directed him
to dropa note from heaven into the ship,
inviting the aeronauts 60 visit the town.
the court house lawn. despite Jake Bin
der's loud warning To 'gecp dot grass
on"
The first thing the captain Of theaerial
craft did after landing was TO call THE
DIAMOND DRILL re porterasiie and impor-
tune him az a special favor not to des-
cribe his invention, lest it il be patented
by Joe Hanson or Bill Tully. The prom
Use being given, we will not break It..
As the people gathered around, Frank
Scadden rushed up GREATNESS and hat
Less and wanted the lowest rates for mir
shipping ore, but his business PROPOSE
ton was ignored, the party being in the
air merely for pleasure.
Brad Webb shouldcrcd his way Co the
front and wanted To sell tie tourists a
stove, but looked rather crcstfallcn when
John Tromblay turned on him with
"Hully gee crappcau, Brawdl IIar you
crazec'2 What for you tink dcy want
stoyc2 Don't you tink she's purity hot
wan, all tam hup dere near a. SUM"
Bob Wilson yelled "that's u good one on
you, Brad" and ven into Mysteries.
A. Justified wanted Co know II the Wis
itors had seen anything Of the hoop aud
fence factory in their travels aud John
Parks wanted to tell a story about
forty years ago"
j. II. Corcoran told that they could
bank on him il they wanted anything in
his line, but he spoke 80 earnestly that
no one saw the pun.
j.. Thoburn Gibson, the Canadian SUI
pcryisor Of Amasa, was in the crowd and
invited the visitors to stay all day aud
attend the county board meeting and see
him unseated by Supervisor init Lnwr-
once.
Emil Berg cndeavored to take advaut-
age Of the crowd and deliver a free silver
speech, but was squclched by John Erik
son, who told him that because he had n
mouth he mustn't think he was a whole
Populist convention.
NJ. III. Morinrty presented the captain
OF the ship with n bottle of DR.. Nevycrr-
kure's New Discovery for Gout and DR..
Darling gave him "A prescription for airy
sipelas.