The sun., 1897-04-27
Its tltubation Of feet. 1t is entitled, with
seemingly unconscious self.sarcasm, "The
New Boston Massacre" and here is At:


Here flashing blade" is of course poet
ical clrcumlocution for the corkscrew. which
is known in Eastern Massachusetts, as m
"Ancients sword" But really all this ex-
pendlture of grief in prose and of verse that
indignation makes, is wasted. Wasted, too,
is the heer Of the presumably very young gen.
tleman who calls himself Boston Cadet"
and takes the trouble to inform us that
"there is no real cause for discouragement
in military circles. There will be one less
place for the Ancients to discuss commits
sariat problems In. That's all. Make no
mistake. They are not going to suffer.
There are plenty Of other places open." Thus
lean.faced Envy in her lonesome cave. Yet
here Envy is wasting breath. The Hon.
JOSIAH QUINCY has no hostile intention in
reference to the hardy martialists, whose
armory is in Faneuil Hall. The Com
pany is much older institution than
tho Hall. The Company was one hun.
dred and twenty-five years old when the
present Hall was built. AS between the
Company and tho Hall, the Mayor would not
hesitate for q second. He might fire the
Hall, II its destruction were necessary to
preserve the Company, but never would he
fire the Company to save the Hall. He has
asked for an appropriation Of hundred
thousand and odd dollars for tho purpose of
strengthening tho building and making It
fireproof. This is not to be done for the
sake of tho building, but for tho sake of
the Company. When the Company has o
"smoker" all Boston trembles In her night
cap. The structure isso old. So many heroes
lives are there exposed to danger. II the city
does not make the Hall as impregnable as
the Company is, public spirit and private
generosity may be depended upon to per-
form the indispensable work.
AS for the Kitchen, the explanation is
simple but painful. It saddens us to be
obliged to mention once moro war which
still fills Boston with grief and amaze. Who
can forget, although all would " ish to for
get, the Monday night when Colonel SIDNEY
MONTGOMERY HEDGES, sometime the Cap
tain Of the Ancients, did pull, rend, divulse,
and divellicate the august whiskers Of
Colonel HENRY WALKER, the chief who led
the Ancients in their grand arbitration
and inhibition march through England3
This work of woe was done in barroom of
the Parker House, fort long garrisoned by
Ancients. 1t is not generally known in
this town, and Is not known to everybody
in Boston, that the Faneuil Hall Kitchen
was the cause Of the regrettable battle in
question. Colonel WALKER and Colonel
HEDGES returned from q council of war in
the armory. They had been earnestly dis
cussing the Kitchen chimney. Pardon
me, Colonel" said Colonel HEDGES, "but
I think the chimney smokes" Pardon
me. Colonel" answered Colonel WALK
Err, but think it doesn't smoke"
Excuse me, Colonel" said Colonel
HEDGES, "but am positive the chimney
smokes" Excuse me-" answered Colonel
WALKER, "but I am p sitive that the
chimney does not smoke" In their grow
ing agitation both commanders strayed
into the barroom. The barkeeper was con-
sulting NJ. GANoTs admirable treatise on
"Physics" before compounding a seltzer
lemonade. "How can the chimney smoke
If the velocity of the draught is all rightr
cried Colonel WALKER. "Barkeeper will
you allow me to look at that book a mo-
ment7 Now, Colonel, listen while I read
you what GANoT says on the subject:
".The velocity of the drausht of a chimney may be
determined theoretically by tho formula
p20aW-Dh.
"I have tested the Armory Kitchen chin
ney by this formula of GANor's," con-
tinued Col. WALKER, land the chimney is
all right Pardon me, Col. WALKER,
said Col. HEDGES, not without Ice, "but
don't care a button what GouNoD or any
other man says about chimneys. have a
nose and know the smell Of smoke and the
smell of soot." Hence the war. In the
interests Of international arbitration the
offending Kitchen ought to be closed. No
chimney, smoky or not, should stand In the
way Of peace. So thinks the Hon. JOSIAH
QUINCY, and he deserves praise and not
censure for his statesmanlike course. If
the Ancients' kitchen Is closed tempo
rarily or permanently, tho closing will be q |
victory Of peace.