Santa Fe daily New Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1885-1897, 1897-06-11
THE WORM TURNED.
And When lie Did 1t tho Pale Young
Man Fled ANONYMOUSLY.

And When He Did 1t tho Pale Young
Man Fled Ignominously.
AS the accommodation train on the z.
d. $. railroad (the $ whereof appropriately
signifiea "slow'O snailed along its west
ward way, tho palo young man with the
oyerhanging brow, which bulged like the
shell of swapping turtle continued to
lean over the back of the seat in front Of
him and driz2le facts, theories and stats"
tics, unselfshly plucked from the hotbed
of his intellectually, into the patient car
of the humble wearer Of tho pepper and
salt raiment and fringe of whiskers, which
looked as If they might have been hacked
with pair OF dull skates from the hump
of superannuated calMel
After having exhausted the tariff, money
and silver questions, the intellectual young
man elucidated in detail the theories of
evolution and transcendentalism the Ber-
tillon system Of measuring criminals, the
Monroe doctrine, the aurora borealis and
sugar beet culture His nearer sighed re-
signodly and answered him nothing.
Tho possessor of the bulging brow
hooked his chin over the back of the seat
and spako on. He described tho method of
operating for appendicitis, dwelt upon the
theory of the contagion Of crime, jumped
over into Symlne's Hole, touched up the
apogee, dealt firmly with the new woman
problem, explained the modus operandi Of
fritteging away the golden ours of lie
with golf and quoted copiously from the
early poems of Alfred austin. The wearer
Of the fringed whiskers began to squirIn
like toad in q hot skillet
Tempus continued to fugit as If both
wings were broken and the brain cursed
young man babbled on He exhausted the
subject Of the Pingree potato patches, and
his calculation of the Roentgen light was
still inchoate when his prey suddenly
stopped wriggling.
you pear to be pretty well posted for
q young man, " said tho wearer of the pep.
per and salts, turning around and inter
rupting the flow Of his fellow traveller :
eloquence. An there arc q few little
things I've been studyin over lately that
I'd like to ask you about. F'rinstanoe,
wish you would tell me, if you know why
it is, how some people can wiggle their
ears by contractin the muscles of then
sealps an Others can't?'
We'll really, II stammerod the
young man "I-um-ah!"--
ooh, it don't matter much Jest
thought I'd ask, you know. But if yor
can tell nc how much of snake is body
an how much is tail, I'd like it first rate. ;
"I-do not know"
"Well, no matter / s'pose | can fine
out somewhere else. But there's another
thing that has bothered mo good deal
ono time an another, an ii you can eluci
date it, so to speak, youll be doin mo 1
great an lastin favor. III man of 81
marries girl of II, an his son marrie'
tho girl mother, an boy baby is in due
time born to each couple, what relation i:
the old man to his first son, an his sons
son, an his own wife, an his sons wife, al
to himself? An what relation is the young
man to the old man, an the old mans
wife an infant son, an also to his OWL
wife, an himself, an his own son? Al
what relation are the women to each othe
an themselves an every other member o
the party? An what
But the possessor of the bullying brow
had risen Without begging to be excused
and, with a dazed look on his intellectual
face, was making his way rapidly towart
the next car. The train snailed onward
and the wearor of the fringed whiskers re
marked, half aloud, as he turned to gaz
out Of the window;
Il wish he'd waited long enough fo
me to have asked him If there has eve
been discovered sure an reliable cure TO
warts. Truth.