Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-09-23
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Sne-So you don't like that hat Just
III front of us? How would Won like If
trimmed! He Csavagely)-With lawn
mower.-Tit-Bits.
lhe Captain Cboisterously)-Com
old man. brace up. What's rot into
you! Passenger-If YOU don't put mo
ashore you'll very soon see.-Life.
Poor, motherless girl he exclaim.
ed' ana turned sadly away. What he
wanted was motherless girl u,ho
should be in moderate circumstances.
AT least.-Puck.
Scotch.-McSporran leaying home,--
Moo, Janet. dinna forget TO max IeetIe
sandy tax his glass e'e DOT when he's
ma lookin' ut aething.-New York
Truth.
She-Oh, James, how grand the sea
iS' HOW wonderful. | do so like to
near the roar of the ocean. He-So
90 l. Elizabeth. Please keep Quiet
Lustigen Blaetter
Ohoiiy Ricketts, uragically,
me- dearest, and | shall enter mon.
aStery and be monk. AIaude Sum.
iherrlrt-Alonastery. Don't you mean
menagerie: e:-Puck.
Joking aside, madam, two girls
nave gone insane from love of me
ana you say you really cannot love
me" NO baron" Third case of in.
sanity"-F'liegende Blaetter.
Old Millyuns-Y Young man. nv
daughter tells me you kissed her last
hlght. Percival Tootles-Well. if she
wants to go Dragging about it, that's
her privilege.-Chicago Record.
Weary Willie-Ef you he'd a million
collars, Fields, wot would you do wit
1t! Flowery Fields-W'y, | wouldn't
40 huttn' wit it'd jest rest easy and
let 1t do sutt'n' wit me.-Truth.
Everybody seems to be on an eoual.
ity in Klondike," said the shoe-clerk
Doarder Yes" said the Cheerful
ldlot, "one man can cut as much ice as
another up there. re."-Indianapolis Jour.
nal.
Mr., GotroX-What would you expect
me to do for my daughter if YOU mar
rled her! George Goodthing lslightly
embarrassedJ-Yo -You-er-wouldn't he
willing to die for her, would you?-
Judge.
Paw asked the little boy" what
iS hrnin-u-npl- nt,g
er,' said the old man, is man who
has to spend all his salary in dressing
up TO the position he holds. ."-Typo.
graphical Journal.
lsaacstein-Dot vas quveer ting
vot happenedt to Rosenbaum's shtore.
jere vas burglary undt shmall
hire der same night. Cohenstein-Yes
Rosenbaum toldt me dot he came oudt
shOost even.-puck.
Papa said Billy. tearfully. after n
playful romp with the good-natured
but rather rough ST. Bernard puppv.
Il don't believe Bingo knows what
kind of dog he is. He plays as if he
thought he was "A little pug."-Bazar.
Young Lady-You are wonderful
master of the piano, hear. Professor
Won Spieler (hired for the occasiom-I
blay aggOmpaniments zometimes.
Young Lady-Accompaniments to
singing? Professor Won Spieler-Ag-.
compartments to conversations. Tit
Bits.
Mrs. Newlywed-That is our new
burglar-alarm-you see, if burglar
should get into the lower part of the
house, that would ring. Her mother
Oh.-and scare him Off? Mrs. Newly
wed (dOubtfully)-Well, it might: but
1t would give Clarence and me plenty
of time to hide in the attic, anyway
Puck
First Assistant lin Daily Hustler Of
fice)-lt strikes me that the editor is
becoming decidedly absent-minded.
Second Assistant-Why do you thinl;
so? First Assistant-Why, in that
long article on the wonderful progress
of mankind during the reign of Queen
Victoria, he never once mentioned the
increase in the circulation of the Hus
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