The daily morning journal and courier., 1897-06-05
SOME KANSAS TALL STORIES.
The Munchausen Humor of the Sum-
 flower State

Lue MuncHduSeH dulllOr or tHe Sun- flower State.
 Several stories which the reader can or cannot believe, just as he sees fit, were started after the Seneca tornado, two years ago, had violated the state law in reference to the malicious de- struction of property and departed for parts unknown. Probably the best one was this: A man was riding along on horseback with a jug of whiskey tied with strap to the saddle-horn. After the blow had ceased the jug handle was found inside the jug and the strap was sticking out of the nozzle, the jug hav- ing been blown inside out without spill ing drop of liquor Here is another fair one: A farmer was ploughing around an oblong patch
 of ground one day, and at night the track of unploughed land still contained about five acres. When he quit for the day he left the plough sticking in the furrow, as farmers often do. The tor nado came along and caught the plough, taking 1t around and around the land until 1t was all ploughed A kansan abroad recently found crowd that did not seem to appreciate his conversation concerning the con- spiracy of the foreign capitalists to compel the Populist farmers of Kansas
 to pay their honest debts, so he pulled out his stock of tornado stories hoping to attract attention.
 T saw cyclone once" said he, that picked up a straw-stack and moved it
 a mile and put it back, straw on straw, as 1t was"
 1 Two or three of the auditors yawned ! and the Kansas man tried it again. Another time" i'd he, II saw a
 twister suck sixty gallons of molasses out of a barrel in front of grocery | store and distribute 1t to every family 1 in twon who had bucket out on the
 back step for the milkman." He cleared his throat and began
 again: Back In the seventies we had terrible cyclone in western Kansas. It blew the cracks out of the fences,
 pulled a cistern out of the ground,
 moved township line and changed the
 day of the week"
 This last fusllade induced one of the listeners to speak up. He said: 'I do
 not know much about cyclones, but once when I was at sea I saw water
 spout pick up tons and tons of water
 and carry 1t a mile and'--
 Hold on," cried the Kansan If
 you are going to degrade this conver-
 sation to the level of common lying
 contest I will retire. And he got up | and walked away pompously. A prominent Kansan is accredited l with telling this:
 Tell you what's a fact. I have
 known it to blow twelve days and
 nights on aq stretch and hold a sheep
 up against the side of the barn until he l starved to death''
 | Probably the story which better illus
 trates the position of the Populist farm
 CT in Kansas than any told in recent
 years is this:
 | Kansas man (visiting in the east)- "Yes, sir, Kansas is the country for the farmers. Look at her vast prairies cov-
 cred with crops so heavy that they
 make whole counties sink down in the
 middle. Look at her corn crop so vast that it crowded township lines into the l river.
 l Same Kansas man Cat the Populist meeting in his own neighborhood)- Fellow-sufferers, dry weather. Hessian
 flies and gold bugs prey like vampires | on our state. Our once fair state is plastered over With mortgages so heavy that We have to bore a hole through
 them with an auger in order to plant
 corn. Rouse, ye slaves!
 l There has been a premium offered for the capture of the man who started this I clever lie: "A Kansas farmer planted
 his farm in popcorn, and gathered it l into his barn. The barn took fire, the | corn popped and filled a ten-acre field His old mare, thinking it a snow-storm lay down and froze to death"
 In discussing the question in western | Kansas not long ago, citizen from the | short grass country said: ''I think that
 Kansas is in need of a good deal of ir-
 rigation. There are times when it is SC dry in the western part of the state
 that you have to soak a hog over night
 before he will hold swill. There are
 places where water is wet only on one side. I know a place where the owner of 6 ferryboat hauls water clever
 months in the year to keep his ferry
 running. Why, water is so scarce there that the men won't drink it. The cause