The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1897-06-25
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What ale?'-Philadelnb ',rvSet r
American. ->VF'h
Togg says he is immoderateIr son, .
red hair. because it looks so m,.i, ~ wv VI
ter after it has turned gray.-Ros,.. ~,
Transcript. '''s'A
She-"Iou looked like fool ,r..
you proposed to me-" He (sloom'r' r'1
We'll, why didn't you tell mo sas1 -
it was too late"-Detroit Tribuno |'''s
Minnie-'I want to Introduce Van :,
young lady-a very nice young lad,
and she's worth her weight in ~aI,,
Bob-'Stout girl, hope."-
Judge-Well, now that you are ,,.,
you can tell Us how much it cos,S
go to Europe. "Ail you've got and y"
YOU can borrow over there."-Ba1r1,a.~"l ~l
News.
Mrs. Howso-"Did you attend w..
Cumrock's funeral yesterday:" w.
Saidso-"When she owes me : ohio
Why, the very ideaw-Wasbinr,"r
Times.
Then you agree With the Rev W.
Straitlace on the question OF orern.,
punishment?" Not exactly. We hoth
believe in it, but I'm hot in favor Of itp
Truth.
Employer-"I thought you wanted n
go to your grandmother funera, this
afternoon:" Office Please sir
it was postponed on account Of VET
grounds. Truth.
Miss Towney Gn search of the idyIic
at last meets real, live shenherd-
Pray, tell me, gentle shepherd, where
is thy pipe?" The Gentle Shepherd
II left it at come. mum, cause amt
got no cy."-Tit-Bits.
"Finished your projected kineto..
scope YETI" asked the idle man. It
works beautifully" said the inventor,
but the hardest part is to come"
Whats that:" Getting up a name
for it. t.'-Cincinnati Enquirer
q would gladly lay the world al your
feet" the young man exclaimed. Dear
me-" sighed Mabel, II almost wish Won
hadn't said that" 'Why?" "Father is
always saying you act as if you own
the earth. ."-Washing Star.
Where did you get the pretty bow
for your hair, Nellie?" Guess it was
yours once, wasn't it?' "Why no. why
do you think that:" "Cause sister
gave it to me, and l heard her say she
gets all yours. ."-Harper's BaZar.
II suppose you may say the honey
moon is at an end when the husband
begins to stay out late at night?" Not
exactly. 1t doesn't really end until the
wife can go to sleep again without be-
lieving what he has to say for himself"
Truth
Mistress-"Did you ask for milk
bread:" Domestic-"Yes. mum" Mis-
tress-"What miserable little loaf
they gave you?" Domestic-"Yes,
mum. It's my opinion. mum, that the
baker is usin' condinsed milk. dublin
World.
NO man ever got rich" said the
cornfed philosopher, "by sitting down
and thinking what he would do if he
had $1.0OO.CO0. The fellows who got
there did 50 by thinking whom they
should do to get $1,00o,000."
oils Journal
Henry. you look very pale. What's
the trouble:' II was stung TO the
quick by an adder this afternoon
How did it happen?" WHY. drop,
ped i'll at bank, and the bookkeepel
told me my account was overdrawn.' =
Golfers Weekly.
The difference between the Wagner
ties and the antiWagnerites is quite
simple What is it," We'll, when
the Wagnerite can't understand Nas,
ner, he thinks it is his own fault, while
the anti-Wagnerite, under similar CIR
cumstances, thinks it is Wagner
fault"-Puck
"It was really most enjoyable occa
sion," remarked Miss Cayenne. "IheA
You regard it as worthy Of being c-aSs
ed with the social successes OF the So"
SOM" "Oh. dear no. l couldn I th!Ah
of going so far as that. NO enc mas :! u
informed me how much it cost -
Washington Star.
Gadaround-I witnessed a perform
ance of Hamlet by village ahlateQl>
out at Waybackville the other AlsA.
Snarley-Must have been distressing
Gadaround-On the contrary. 1t wa,
highly amusing. Not one of the actors
forgot to say exit" every time lie -e-'
the stage.-Puck.
y guess Jim can get away fof IL"
fishing party all right What ili'AeS
YOU think sop 81 was up to his Ao"S'
last night. His wife used to Dc ~
amateur elocutionist before they Ne-'
married, and he asked her to feci''
She'll never refuse him now. '-Cle'V
land Plain Dealer
Il was surprised to hear that fe-iSI
ope had broken her engagement
thought she was determined to st.'A
to him in spite of the opposition oi Ne-
father" She was, but the IDIOT WIZ
her some poetry, as he called It. Nj.
he rhymed her name Win Let Us li''.
elope.' That settled him. ."-CinclllL'N
Enquirer.
A Parliamentary Hint,-It was se'