Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-04-24
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He was a slayer: Helm going to
kiss you when 60. She-Do II now
while I'm s,ill youngstown Topics.
Have you got any high-grade
wheelsT' Yes. sir" well. want one
can use on Pixies Peak."-Yonkers
Statesman.
siumleigh--f don't zee why you care
90 little for me. Miss. Gycr-Havc you
ever taken good look at yoursclf?-
Town Topics.
She DO you understand those
French jokes? Helm afraid I do.
She-Then wish you'd translate them.
-Pick-Me-rp.
Gosling-"what do you think Of this
new tie of mine?" wiggns-"Aiy boy.
it's not tie. It's colorcd supple
ment."-Truth.
George describes the girl he Is en-.
gagged 10 as a perfect vision" "Yes.
And his sister says she Is sight,
Indianapolis Journal.
HAS Mr.. De Broken proposed to you
yet. Beatrlce?" "No: but he has law.
yer looking into papa's financial nf.
fairs.'-Dctroit Free Press.
Mr.. slmmer--Going to the bail to.
night? Miss Antique--No. don't dance
the new dances. "why notY' mot
asked. "-C!evcland Plain Dealer.
When n woman Is saving up to buy
n new hat she can never soc any use
in her husbands spending money to be.
long TO n club.-New York Press.
'Boariing-houses have taught mo
one thing" What Is that?" 1T couldn't
have been dried apple with which Eve
tempted Adam."-Chlcago Record.
Cannibal king-You haven't succeed.
cd In fattening the captive? The chief
cook-iic's losing flesh all the time. I
think he's worrying about something.
Puck.
"Ah. my poor man." said the bcnevo.
len, old lady. II suppose you are often
plnchcd 10y want AMI hunger. are you
not;' "iessum. an by dc cops."-Cln.
clnnat! Tribune.
Gcorge--l just saw you coming from
the conservatory with Miss Goldle.
Rather handsome girl. but too reserved
for me. Thcmns--Yes, just reserved
her for life.-Clncinnati Enquirer.
Ever notice what an oven temper
johnson has? No matter low much he
Is disagreed with. he never gets an.
cry" NO: but what deep Yity he
has for the other M polls
Journal.
Dyspepsia Specialist drritably)-
s.Dnt fu Ia,
food. What were your teeth given you
for:" Female Patient (calmly)-"Thcy
weren't given 10 mel bought en-
Odds and Ends.
Theatres ought to be seated with the
women all on one side ana the men on
the other" "Why?" so that when
men go out between the acts they can
tramp on each others toes."-Detrol,
Free Press.
A fashion paper announces that
gowns this summer will come highe,
than they did last year. owing TO q
boom In TIE silk market. We trust they
wll-at .he shoulders. Commercial
Advertiser.
''The bicycle Is all right. I suppose.
remarked Mr.. Walker. "but It should
not be- carried to excess" II don't thinl
Il should be carried at ALL" replied Mr.
Sprocke;. 1T should carry yOu."-
Pltrsburg Chronlclc-Telcgraph.
neutrality-suspicious. Is the frs,
hand organ have seen for some weeks
Got TOO cold for them. suppose" Or
gan!st-"Ect ces so. signOr Zee peo
pies keepa windows shut ana nOtta pay
Ais 10 nova On."-New York Weekly.
Mr.. Norris-"I won't hear word o.
~. II Is TOO prepOsterOus" Mrs. Nor
ris-"Don't be severe with Frank; 20,
know he has fallen In .,ve." "Well
can't he fall out again. mo. In
afraid not without getting married.
Answers.
Il have seen some pretty hard knock
in my time" began the anvil. In ring
ing tones. when the bellows interrupt
ed him with. But think OF the troubl
have. There isn't day that I'm no
hard pressed TO raise the wind."-Cin
cinantl Enquirer.
Mr.. Esplanade-"I miss one top!
from the program Of the Mothers Con
gress which fully expected to see dis
cusscd." Mr.. Monterey-"What
ihat;" Mr. Esplanade-"How to Man
ngo a Husband" by Miss Soanso."-
plttshurg Chronicle-Telesraph
Chumley-"I hear one Of your fresl
men was pretty badly injured the othe
day. How was III" Hanklns-"Why
II was in the elocut!on and orator
class. He has such heavy voice tina
he strained his back in trying TO rails
at University of Michigan Wrinkle.
Advance Agent-"iou Western pee
pie don't seem to be quite up 10 operi
Everywhere we 90 the audiences wee
in the wrong place" Local Manager
You won't have any trouble here. NJ
FISHERS are instructed TO eject anybod
who does not weep In the cuspidor.'
Detroit Journal.
Mabel studying her lesson)-"Papi
what is the definition Of volubllity
Mabel's Father-"My child, voiublllt
Is a distinguishing feature of yol
mother when. on account OF urgent a
fairs, don't happen 10 reach home u,
Ill after . o'clock In the morning.
Baltimore News.
Moiher-"Mary, that young Spinncl
has been paying a great deal OF attcI
ton 10 you OF late. DO you think
husfnaas.D Mary lpith q.