The Saint Paul globe., 1897-06-06

and that there were women in the
world somewhere such as man might
honor and respect without lowering his
own standards. L had never come
across them, but believed in them all
the same. I was drawn to you by the
power you have of winning men.
saw you intimately and began to tell
myself that, although you were one Of
those that the world usually holds in
light esteem, purveyor to the amuse-
ment of mankind, yet you were an ex-
ception, not only to your kind, but to
your sex as well, and that in you
had found the embodiment of those
qualities which command the reverence
as we'll as the love Of a man. l knew
little OF your profession or of the rank
you held in it, but felt that If you
sang, you sang to the Improvement as
we'll as to the mere pleasure OF the
world; that if you danced, you digni-
fed dancing above the common level or
variety-show performance, and raised
it to that Of beautiful art. Then, with
my faith in you and your womanly per-
lection at it's height, I humored your
wish and went to see you in the play
you selected. Good God! 1 wish 1 had
died firstr'
He broke off abruptly and began to
walk to and fro through the long
room, While T. with my heart lying like
a block of ice in my breast, tried to
mutter something in my own behalf,
You are hard 1 said, bitterly hard
and cruel 1t is on slight evidence you
change your opinion of me, and i'm
pose upon me worthless character.
What charge can you bring against
me, after all. Of a really serious
nature? Look at your society women.
How do they costume themselves ?
and only for pleasure! If my business
calls for certain concessions Of mod
esty-why, am 1 not bound in neces-
sity to grant them? [ am no whit
worse than other women"
Then he burst forth again.
Worse? All, but had thought you
so much better-can't you see?''
apartment Now, as he spoke, he
came quickly, impetuously forward
until he stood so close to me that 1
could almost hear his heart beat. All
his self-compOSure was gone; there
was not even a vestige Of it remaining.
His eyes We're aglow, and in his cheeks
dull flame smouldered. He leant
hands which were hanging clasped
before me. His voice was very low,
but clear and distinct.
Pauline he said, and my heart
thrilled at the tenderness of his tone,
Il love you; you know it, I think.
Until last night L never thought [
should have courage to tell you Of 1t,
but now
1 snatched my hands from him, and
cried out so loudly that Jean was sum-
moned by the noise from her distant
room. I looked at him as a child
Ni.0l1+ IL
1t an unWarrantable and unexpected
blow. [ threw out my palms and
Warded him from me, and then I found
voice and strength sufficient to dismiss
him.
Leave mel" commanded. go! If
I have disappointed your ideals, rest
satisfied with the reflection that you
have had your revenge. You love me,
you say! You do not know the mean
ing Of the word love. I could instruct
you if 1 would, for you have this day
broken my heart. Go. Not a word
further. Jean, Jean!' I cried, as the
faithful little creature came running
you, my dear. I am not we'll" And,
as at all important crises of my life,
l lapsed into uncOnsciOusness.
I have suffered since then; today
am in sore distress; but never have
known such agony Of mind as followed
Quintard. Whether anger or pain bore
off the victory in the wild conflict of
feeling that well-nigh untitled me for
my duties, I cannot say, but certainly
my resentment of his estimate of me
was Of great service in carrying me
through my work for a considerable
interval I clothed myself in the cos
tunes which had aroused his disapro-
baton, with a vindictive delight in the
thought that 1 was running counter to
his prejudices; and I allowed the fes-
tivities which took place at my ex-
pense to assume a greater degree of
licence than 1 generally permitted If
he loved me, it would harass him to
hear rumors of these riotous entertain
ments, and if he were bent upon as
signing special and unnatural char
acter to me, [ would let him see that
1t would not be matter Of difficulty
for me to live up to such a one The
thin line between decorum and in
decency in my manner Of living had
never become so perilously endangered
as during that time.
[ was Well-nigh reckless NV honor
and self-respect had received a severe
shock, and nothing but the thought of
Lisa withheld me from going to the
extremes Of excess. I hated to be
alone moment, and poor Jean had a
hard time with me, I fear, for I was