Pleasantville weekly press. (Pleasantville, N.J.) 1890-1911, 1897-03-24
The Press-Hello, Central

time?
The Press-Give us Congressman
Gardner.
Central-He isn't on our Circuit now.
He's in Washington.
The Press-Well, call him over the
long distance telephone.
Central-All right. In just a moment.
All, they had clear wire for q wonder.
Here he is.
The Press-Ah, is that you Congress
man? Glad to hear your voice once
more.
The Press wants some inside news
concerning local and County politics,
and we know of no one more likely to
have it than yourself. Of course what
ever you say over our invisible wire will
be treated as confidential.
Mr.. Gardner. Certainly. That's al
ways understood. | often "give away"
information to the Press that wouldn't
have leak out for the world. But tell
me what particular trail you are on
now.
The Press-We want to know if you
have any applications for Office, and
what progress is being made in the dis
tribution of patronage under the new
administration.
Mr.. Gardner. Don't say word 1t
has been one perpetual hornets nest ever
since | came here in December Our boys
are hungier than a shark chasing a
school of mackerel, and there are num-
erous applicants for every place. First |
must tell you of the awful Knockout that
Levi Albertson got when mike" Devine
was confirmed by the Senate as Post
master of Atlantic City for four years
right up to the end of McKinley's term.
The lick that Fitzsimmons put in on
Corbett's read-basket last week wasn't
circumstance to it. Levi writes me
that he could not even gasp for breath
when he got news of it. He thinks it
was the greatest calamity that has
befallen the cOuntry-and incidentally
himselEsince the fall of Fort Sumpter.
1t is tough on Levi, but it let's me out OF
an unpleasant predicament. There were
half dozen of our fellows who fought
bravely in the campaign last Fall, and
each and every mothers son of them
had pitched upon the Atlantic City Post
Office is just sizing up to his measure
ments. had stood them off upon one
approaching when | should have been
transcendent good luck it was for me,
personally, to have Devine SO unexpect-
edly confirmed! But don't whisper this
to Levi-not on your life. He would
snatch me bald-headed the next time we
meet if he learned of it. But it was an
awful blow for Levi-there is no doubt
about that. l have been trying to find
some word to tittingly describe it, and |
went to the Congressional Library and
looked over the New Century Dictionary,
and other works of art relating to our
lingo, but failed to find any word that
exactly fits the case. 'Sockdologer"
comes the nearest to it, and some of the
boys say that is what he got. Ishouldn't
wonder if that was about the size of it,
but the whole affair carries with it so
many painful memories l dare not dwell
upon it.
The Prese.-Will Mr.. Albertson be
otherwise provided for?
Mr.. Gardner.-Now you've got mel
really don't know. The whole business
came upon us like peal of thunder from
clear sky, and our whole crowd are so
"rattled" we hardly know where we are
'sat." Something will have to be done.
supposc-for really, don't see how we
can expect to run the government with
out Lewis help. Right here | want to
tell you, in the strictest confidence, OF
something that has given me infinite
pain. As soon as the election was over
last Fall, there were Republicans, right
in Atlantic City too, who bad the cheek
to come to me and say that Levi
had ''swiped" more than his share of
the honors already in years past, and
that, hencefOrth, he must be put in the
same class with Dives who had his share
of the good things before Lazarus did.
Wasn't that awful?
The Press.-We think with your help
Mr.. AlbertsOn will get whatever he is
entitled to. Now drop him for a mo-
ment aud tell us what you know about
political matters right about herein
Pleasantville for instance.
Mr.. Gardner.-Well Pleasantville is not
going to perish for want of those who
are willing to hold Office. Several have
signifed to me their willingness to sacri-
flee themselves for the good of the Coun-
ty-including George Williams, Harry
Helfrich, "Pres" Adams and 'Sam"
Bartlett each of whom expects to be
made Postmaster when Garwood's
tCI Ii Cal piIcb ueAU duuhTys IL uctu uOU
surprise you bit if some chap not
named in the foregoing list finally
walked off with the plum. Over in Alb
secon they are having a regular monkey
and parrot time about the Postofficr,
and Jerry" Carton and Dan" Walters
are engaged in holy tussle about it.
It's the same all over the county. Wher-
ever there is any prospect OF vacancy,
there are lot of fellows waiting and
watching to slip in. have a pile of
letters from them that would fill the
tank on 'Tobey" McConnelps windmill
tower. l am in a quandary, and l
hardly know what to do. 1t was Tall
Grand, / believe. or some other eminent
frog-eater, who said that when q man
appointed . friend to Office he made ten