The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-05-30
MRS. DRIFTER'S LESSON.
SHE W0N'T SIT UP LATE At NIGHT
NOW WAITING ron DRIFTER

How Three schemiuE wemen 'Wero Toid OF .
Fire That Never Hnppened-They saw IL,
Too-A stay-Out-1ate Huubnnd's viotory in
HTS own Household over Allied Forces.
Mrs. d. you are running your health, running
mp big gas bills, and souring your temper
by sitting up late at night, waiting for me.
Now, every husband has business that at some
time or other is bound TO keep him away from
home. Take my advice, and"
or course Drifter had said all this many
times before, and his finish had always been
the same. Mrs. Drifter interrupted him by say
ing, with wifely flrmness:
"Drifter, you might as we'll give up trying to
make me u party to your attempt to break up
our happy home. know my duty as a wife. and
/ shall do 1t. Just tell those awful, designing,
business friends of yours. who evidently have no
homes, that q patient. tired, but devoted wife
will not close her eyes until you come home.
Now you can go. I shall be here waiting, and
the clock Is in good running order"
Cruel to the last, Driftor accompanied his
goodnight kiss by saying sternly:
II kiss you because something may happen to
me. may be knocked down by q cable car,
held up by highwaymen or got some knockout
drops In ginger ale while I am away. II any
thing should happen, why, Of course I'd die
much happier II 1 knew you were asleep and not
worrying about me-"
Inc uOOr BnuC Win u DanB tnaC started
Drifter's dog Smudge on a prolonged howl and
Mrs. Drifter prepared for u good cry. Later on
she was doing in her chair when the fire on
gines, water towers, ladder trucks, and in
surance patrol wagons dashed by the house on
their way to o Broadway hotel fire. The clang-
ing of bells startled Mrs. Drifter, as she after
ward said, "out of q years growth" And
Drifter. the wretch. was not there to soothe her
alarms. 1t was nearly midnight.
ugh, how nervous and creepy I am" muir
INJURED the little woman. Suppose Drifter
should get hurt. Anyway l couldn't sleep o
wink now. even II l went to bed. Maybe he's
right, though. am getting wrinkles from sit
ting up so late. I wish to goodness somebody
would come in. I'd make q Welsh rarebit or
drink some beer, or do something" -.
Mrs. Drifter DID the somcthing;, She induced
the young married woman in the next fiat to
young CIR, whose country life had not Included
of the morning. Mrs. Drifter's recital OF marital
woes found a Sympathetic listener in the mar
ried neighbor, who said:
1T would serve our husbands right II we went
out somewhere when they stay out late, or we
S 9as SO n scared ' by th empt terrible nit; fi Pet engines Sfer m that I
though IN help you with the cheese and Mary
here can FIX the table and you get the beer, Mrs.
before your husband comes"
Mrs. Drfter felt that she was really wicked
Yes" she said. II must get the bottles out
on when my husband strikes the door. Idon't
dare to LET him think 1 do anything but sit and
ANT the feminine schemers laughed and drank
beer and ate Mrs: Drifter's leathery rarebit, and
then fell to talking, spring hats. Mrs: Drifter
roses peoples, and ribbons for inspection. Three
heads were close together when q brisk step
was heard e. coming along the hall. Tho two
"a.Hoavens!! It's my husband" said Mrs.
dresses aroand them. Dear me. what shall /
w 1FiftSS topk 4o In the s s]itg %i.isms e. he entered the
selves" 10 said: Your, learning i lesson in
earth. and i means Mrs. .brifter.S 's
Hoy shall l ever thank these ladies'. hur.
see. my dear, l was afraid of another. one Of
those awful nervous attacks. The evening had
been 80 long and ! worried 50 aboa. you, and
terrible noise the Dire engines made
you'd have spasns or heart disease. or u a chill"
said the other married conspirator. She went
on to say: - wasn't much use to your wife,
are always lost when left to ourselves, especially
4 there's q fire in the, neighborhood. Come
Three or four empty beer bottles rolled out from
under the women's dresses, and the callers sat
Drifter did come thinking quite swiftly. He
walked into anoth sI room o hustled around 80 the
WOm0n C0ulu get ru OF tlOS6 discriminating DOL
ties, and when he returned said:
Really It Is toe bad that you ladies should ID!
the fire engines. But think Of the poor wretches
caught like rats in q cage. sqffocated. tortured,
burned. hurled from giddy heights only, to Be
never get the scene out OF my eyes. why,
What. Drifter. and you didn't tell us =
rosaive. "Expiaiin at once. No wonder was
SO nervous. I'm so sensitive to occurrences OF
"Yea.d do fell u6. please. Mr.. DrifIer." Dlealed
the other simple, confding women.
q liar myself. and when those women sprung that
story on me about nervous attacks and / saw the
remedies they applied3Welsh rarebits and
beer thought l would spin EN- a yarn for
He did. He thrilled the three women. He gloat-
hotel, told OF seeing thirteen charred and crushed
forms exposed on cruel Broadway, of the panic
se5ie Iesou sse tbs s 81 thI so foe mfss Taais on ane the hs,
ghouls who robbed the dead and dying, Of his
own adventures in the thick of the fire Ghough
his raiment was spotless). and, as an. extra
thriller and a timely w~araing, Drifter said;
The most heartrending Incident Of all was
absent from homo on business and had said no
expected to Be compelled 70 make a call at that
She was not worthy OF such . man, but. poor
soul, let that pass, How can I tell It'll"
on, go oni" chorused the three m
wan .hs started out 4. t. track him; y He was
In the panic, horribly burned, leaped from the
sixth story; Husband. poor fellow, not finding
his wife ct home me: where su she Sh ,SIiI have m been
to the fire. saw bodies whizzing through tho air.
fought the police like a demon. recognized his
wife. got there just in time to hear her beg him
for forgiveness. and then he went raying mad.
They, lived right down the street. It's awful,
"Drifter. we must go there at once" cried
Mrs. Drifter. Perhaps we can do something
for the poor people,"
"Yes, indeed" said the maiden from the coun-
try. land should dearly love e sec 2 great big
IRE; Gsnt you ak h. ", M Mr. R III ort II.
let the women dress for the street. he listened to
their shuddering Whispered fears Of the effect
about having to take them BY a roundabout
way to the scene and walked those suffering
women about eight blocks. When he brought
them to the place where u tossed cigarette had
burned, u hole in an awning and a jealous cop