davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04
larger crowd than usual would certainly
have been attracted there.

larger crowd than usual would certainly
have been attracted there.
tUnshrlnkable ladies' underwear is
often offered for sale, and we are con-
strained to wonder if the intrepid women
for whom it is intended would not forget
their bravery and shrink quite as much as
the generality of their sex in the presence
of mouse or tiger or any other equally
ferocious and dangerous creature.
The use of the infinitive often leads to
ambiguity, as is evidenced by the adver-
tsement which frequently appears:
WANTED, woman to wash" A person
unaccustomed to "reading between the
lines" might think this the "ad" of a
bathing establishment appealing es-
pecialy to the feminine portion OF the
great unwashed" but experience has
taught us that the advertisers really re-
quire a woman TO perform their laundry
work Wanted, a woman to cook, :"
sounds cannibalistic, but to the cuisnere
in search of employment it is quite the
opposite of alarming, since she under
stands its meaning perfectly.
Not long since some one advertised for
"a vampire for Shoes" but as this might
have been a typographical error it is well
10 give this advertiser the benefit of the
doubt.
"A man about the place and wife, is
often inquired for through the columns Of
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

It has been truly said that every por-
lion OF the daily newspaper has special
charm for some person or class of per-
sons, and that there is not line printed
in the largest blanket sheet that is not
read with interest by some one.
Advertisements are generally looked at
in an extremely practical light. Those
who wish to buy, sell or exchange prop
erty of any kind; those who wish to work,
and those who wish TO employ help; those
who have lost articles of value, and those
who have been fortunate enough 10 find
the same and hope for a reward-in tect,
ali those who have any business interest
in their fellow beings peruse the advertls-
ing columns carefully day after day, and
would think the paper worthless without
them.
There are persons, however, who read
advertisements not with view to the ad-
vantages to be derived therefrom but
solely for the drollery often to be found
therein or course the individuals who
part with hard cash for the sake of making
public their wants, or the fact that they
wish 10 rent, sell or exchange certain ar
ticIes have not the slightest intention OF
printing anything funny in the sTace pur-
chased by them. They are strictly busl-
ness and in dead earnest, and it is this
very fact that often makes the result Of
their literary labors so comical.
Advertisements which are intended to
be funny are generally istter than the
eastern shore of North Carolina, which is
said to be so fat that spirit level sags in
the middle if laid on the earths surface
anywhere east of the risin' ground. 1t is
the unintentionaI fun which counts, and
the observing eye discovers enough of this
in seriously meant communications to the
general public, both in newspapers and in
window ana street signs, to tighten many
otherwise dull and cherries hours.
Even the most sober minded can scarcely
fail to see the ludicrous side OF such fre-
quently- met-with advertisements as the
following: "Cheap Mems Suits Inside"
"All-Wool Mems Pants Sacrificed, " exam
CARGO Mems Boots at Half Price" and
Second Hand Ladies' and Gents Cloth
ing Bought and Sold" Most certainly
the tradespeopIe who place these and
kindred signs before the public do not in
the least realize what impressions their
statements convey TO the strictly gram
maIcdI mlnu. 1HeS Woulu 1HulS uaECJ
deny that cheap" second hand" or
kangaroo individuals are included
among their customers, but the fact re-
mains that they are apparently desirous
of attracting just that class OF trade.
A popular firm in New York advertised
not long since that embossed tin chill
dren'S trays" could be purchased in their
esta blishment for an insignificant sum.
Could they have convinced the public that
some of the "em bossed tin children" were
on exhi bition in their salesrooms n even
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

the daily press, and the reader is lost in a
maze of conjecture as to why he adver-
tiser should be desirous of having any
othsr man about his wife-the contrary
being generally the case.
Especial attention given to invalid
cookery" is a sign displayed by person
who proudly declares herself TO be
Cooking teacher" Now all lnvalids
need gooG deal OF attention, and in
valid cookery" probably requires more
than little; but how a teacher who is
herself going through the painful process
of beng cooked is able to attend to such
duties is indeed puzzle.
Invalid" and sick nurses" often seek
positions, though 1t would seem that
those needing the services OF nurse
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

the skillful carving may be masterpiece
of political satire.
1t is strange how little attempt at
beauty there is in all this vast collections.
1t has been said that the japanese have
never sought to develop art in the drec-.
ton of the chief aims and triumphs of
ours, and one can we'll believe it after
searching over these marvels of grotesque
fancies and manual dexterity. The pur-
pose seems to make you wonder, to make
you shudder, to make you laugh-but
nothing more.
There may, however, be a beauty we
lose because we cannot look through JAP
anese eyes. for there is story OF little
Japanese girl which illustrates the differ
ence in our eyesight. A white man
showed her some pictures OF European
beauties. They don't look baa - she
said. "but their eyes are too Big A DC
ture OF a rural scene was shown her in
New York periodical II, it really true
that there are any people like those PIC
tures?" she asked, in amazement "Yes:
they are farmsrs' Farmers? They
look like Oni (demonsA" was her reply.
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

Darine torpedo boat now seeks to blow up
warships that lie helpless and unaware OF
its attack. To be sure. it has not the con-
ISOLATION of being altogether unseen in its
warfare upon the submarine torpedo
boats, but it has one tremendous advan-
tage and that is that 1t has no defensive
armor to contend against, as the sub
marine torpedo-boat is made to destroy
ships and not armed to defend itself.
The strictest secrecy Is maintained in
naval circles here concerning the precise
method of attack which will be adopted
by the new craft. 1t $ said that this Rus
sian terror of the seas will ram it's antag-
onist, and then dart away, leaving the
crew of the shattered submarine craft to
perish in their coffin of steel. The one
important detail of the construction and
operation of the Russian boat which it is
believed is not definitely settled is the
discharge of the torpedo at short range.
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04
That Is to Wreak Destruction on
the Worlds Navies

Verne, the novelist, in his description of
that famous vessel known as the Nautilus.
Lieutenant Rokopfsky told no one but an
intimate friend OF his plans and his ideas
until the news OF the success achieved by
the submarine invention in America and
France excited such marked alarm. Then,
upon advice OF his friend, he laid the
whole matter before the Cars Minis ers
of Marine, and within forty-eight hours
his idea was indorsed and an order given
for the construction of a submarine vessel
according 10 his plans.
Thus Russia proposes 10 make it's own
position superior to that OF other Govern
ments bv placing in commission as soon
as possible an engine of destruction that
will cause the objects of its attack to sink
to the bottom of the ocean just as the sub
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

IRE Russian Government is about to
build submarine boat-destloyer, which
will be the first craft of its kind ever con-
structed. 1t is the invention OF a Russian
marine architect, and this secret of his
brain is guarded by the Cars officials as
miser boards his gold. The Gar feels
now that he has craft which will place
the submarine torpedo-boats of the United
States and French Govern at his
ICY. 1t Is at these boats that the new
invention is aimed.
In the first place the submarine torpedo
boats of the navies mentioned have teen
looked upon with something approaching
awe by naval officers every where. There
has seem d TO be something uncanny
d bout them darting about under the sur
a ce of the waves. and apparently the
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

tons. Some of these are of great value,
and the Japanese bloods used TO wear
them as costly as our diamonds. The
carving of these artistic netsukes became
a great industry in Japan in the sixteenth
century, when tobacco was introduced.
They were worn principally to attach the
tobacco pouch and the smoking apparatus
to the girdle. The profitable market thus
afforded gave great stimulus to the art
of carving, and the skill acquired by prac-
ticing on them was used for more impor-
tant work.
Among the smaller figures there is
Raiien, the god of thunder; Shan Ro.
the patron san: of longevity, with the
stork by his side, which is the sym-
bol of longevity; Futen, the wind
god, with a sack of impris oned tenn
pests on his back; Dia- Koku with a ham,
mer 10 strike his sack every time he wants
rice, food or money; goodesses OF the sea,
of flowers, OF medicine; and immensely
amusing is the god of contentment, with
his fat jowls and his enormous stomach.
whom the Japs call Hotel. There are
many maidens with faces oval as a melon
seed and eyes as narrow as an almond
edgewise, which is the Japanese standard
OF beauty. There are devils so humor-
ously hideous that one can imagine the
japanese hell must be good place to
laugh in. There are many Japanese lao.
coons which do great credit to their art.
As might be expected, there is much OF
the grotesque, but the range of fancy in
grotesoueness in this big collection is as
tonishing. Among the masterpieces of
nideousness perhaps the climax is reached
by an image OF woman in the power of
an octopus and compelled to suckle baby
octopus. 1t would be interesting TO know
all that the carver meant by this last. He
may have been the equal of some of our
great cartoonists, like Thomas Mast, and
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

understood that the advertising clerk OF
that firm by no means meant what he had
caused to be printed.
A painless dentist asserts his i'm
munity from the physical sufferings of
this mortal life in large and striking let
tiers on one of our busy streets. Could he
guarantee like condition of nerves to
those who sit under his ministrations he
would, beyond doubt. be wonderfully
popular, since to be painless" is bless
ing vouchsafed to few.
A modest sign on one of our suburban
dwellings declares that Eating and ST.
ting Eggs" can be procured at low rates
from the proprietor of the place. Ger
tanty, born OF past experience, however,
teaches Us that the proprietor does not
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

is to be perhaps foot of the deck, turtle
back in fashion, and about thirty inches
of the coming tower above that.
While portion OF the craft will thus be
visible to vessels on the surface the means
# propulsion are naphtha or gasoline
engine operating an ordinary small screw
propeller. When it is desired 20 sink the
boat for submarine operations water is to
be let INTO trimming or ballast tanks in
the bottom in sufficient amount to reduce
the buoyancy to few hundred pounds.
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04
Custon-House Receipts:

For real, downright money making.
concern nothing can beat Custom house.
Our own British one does not approach
those of the United States and other:
foreign countries, owing to our free trade:
principles; but wouldn't you like to- be.
the recipient of its takings? In London
the amount OF Gus toms taken in the year
is f9, 500 900. or about f30 900 per working
day. Liverpool comes next with the sum
of little over $4,000, 900. Bristol follows
with 81, 500 co., and then comes Glasgow
with 81, 800, 600, and Belfast with some
what over 91,00O, 900. But at the otner
end there are ridiculously small receipts.
At Lerwick 413 was the sum total OF the
customs payments during the past hye
years; at Stornoway the payments for the
same period amounted to ELL all told;
while at Westport the officer has taken 81
in the five years.-Tt-Bits.
A man breathes twenty times minute,
or 1900 times an hour. -.
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04
United States Submarine Torpedo-Boat.

great warships of the worlds nayies were
practically helpless against the attacks of
these artificial marine monsters. The
completion few months ago of SUBJ
marine torpedo-boat for the United States
at Baltimore, in this country, excited the
liveliest interest among naval officers
here. Following this the success of the
Holland submarine torpedo boat. news of
which was Immediately cab!ed here set
the wits of every one to work and resulted
in the presentation OF the plans of the
strange craft that is now being con-
structed.
The inventors name is Sergius Ro-
kopfsky, and he is q mem Der of the corps
of marine architects the Russian Govern
ment employs, with the rank Of lieuten-
ant. He has long studied the problem OF
submarine navigation, his calculations
being based, strange as it may seem, upon
some of the principles laid down by Jules
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

vides conductors muscular enough to-
gently lift their charges from st rect to car
and back again, since the slightest bodily
exertion on the part of the passenger ur-
ing the process of EN- barking and disem-
barking is expressly forbidden.
"a gentle man and wife can secure apart
ments in strictly private family con-
sisting of two well-furn ished parlors and
small kitchen with a separate en-
ira nce," was the surprising statement
which recently appeared in an Eastern
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

basement" A family answering to the
description was evidently found very
quickly, since the charming cottage"
was soon rented.
Not long since, too; real-estate firm
tried to secure tenant for a house which
they asserted was "newly painted and
papered inside and out" A house pa
pered on the outside ought certainly to
attract the curious, and probably the
notice would have drawn many sight
GERS to the spot had it not been generally
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

the keenest minds are at work striving to
improve, just as the most skilled work
men attainable are constructing The craft,
all the appurtenances thereof. The pres
ent calculation is that the boat will carry
crew of four seamen and two officers. in
addition to torpedo expert. Oddly
enough, in many details, the subm arins
wonder will be very like that United
States marvel known as the Holland, and
the accom- panying illustration shows its
possibilities of terrible execution.
Primarily, it will be an artificial fish,
modelled in longitudinal sections very
much like whale about fifty feet long,
The interior is 10 be almost entirely taken
up with the operating mechanism, very
little room being provided for living
quarters. While simply moving about
from place to place its deck and the small
coming tower in which the commander
stands will be above water. Above that
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

would much prefer to engage one who had
among her other recommend atoms the
great one of good health.
The admonition displayed in some of
ouv streetcars, DO not get on or off the
cars while in notion" places the would
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

cellence. The old was the product of rar
talent joined with almost Infinite patience.
Now time has become valuable even to
the japanese.
The handsome vases carved out of the
big butts of elephant tusks are worth
careful examination. There are a num-
ber of netsukes, or artistically carved but
The San Francisco call., 1897-07-04

A man breathes twenty times minute,
or 1900 times an hour. -.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14

the object Of bis continual solicltude while
on his way to England recently.
DR.. Jameson and the Chartered oomnanv
VIII also be represented by counsel Al tho
inquiry. and colonial office attache will
formally produce the Cape Colony blue
took. A copy OF the charter OF the british
South Africa company will also be submit
ted In evidence by Mr.. Rhodes. The evil
dence Will deal entirely with the circum-
stances OF the raid into the Transynal ana
not into the alleged maladministration M
Cape Colony. II ia expected that the in
quiry will last couple of sessions.
The French chamber OF deputies will soor
deal with bill for the taxation of foreign :
ers. which the Vicomte de Montford and
several Of his friends have lust submitted
1t provides that all male foreigners paw tn,
military tax upon Frenchman who are OK.
empted from taxation. and foreigners exor.
cising profession or calling will. 10 this
bill becomes u law. pay supplemental
tax. In the case of workmen this tax will
not amount to less than per cent OF ,hei,
| earnings. while the tax on. professionals Il
| calculated on the license duty which they
pay The product Of these taxes will be
devoted TO the assistance of the needy wiye,
and families OF soldiers.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14

Washington. February 13.-Information
has been received here from Venezuela to
the effect that the arbitration treaty signed
In Washington by Sir Julian Pauncefote
and Senior Andrade has safely reached
Caracas and will be laid before the vene-
zuelan congress as soon az II convenes. 1t
is said on the best authority that the rati-
iication Of the treaty is practically as
sured; that all substantial opposition has
disappeared upon a more accurate popular
understanding OF the terms OF the agree
ment and that the attempt by Crespo's
enemies to foment hostility to the treaty
and make political issue of it has slgnally
failed
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14
TRUST INVESTIGATIONS,
4 Wholesale Grocer Says He Was
Forced Out of business

New York. February 13-The legislative
joint committee on trusts resumed it's sit
ting in this city today. Before taking up
the thread of the investigation where it
dropped on Monday. the announcement was
made that William NJ. lvans would be ques-
toned ms 10 the operations of the United
States Rubber company. George McDougall
and John T.. Searles were both absent, al
leging busiucss as an excuse and were
given until Monday TO appear.
Mr.. Lawton w. Fuller was called to place
n value on the refining property. He said
he was in the sugar business ION 1854 TO
1876 and was in the real estate business
when the sugar trust was formed. Mr. Full
Ter knew very little about the value OF the
individual plant, and Mr. Lexow labored
with him for long tlmc without extract
Ing any information.
Edward j. Dugan OF Albany, a wholesale
grocer, was the next witness. He had been
in the sugar business for twenty years. He
said that he was What is known as fac
tor for the sugar trust. Before the trust
was formed he could buy sugar anywhere
but after the trust went into operation he
refused to Join tho Wholesale Grocers as
sociation, and then he could not buy any
sugar at all,
what reason was given for tbat?"
"Thoy said was cutting prices and /
was then forced to buy imported sugar"
What was said to YOU"
"Robert Russell of this city told me that
| must buy all my sugar from the American
company"
In answer to further questions MIR. Dugan
said that the trust haG refused to sell him
any sugar and allow him the rebate by
which a progt could be made
"The trusts" he said has forced rue out
of business and am about to close out.
The factor gets debnte OF SIS OF cent
pound. A grocer can not live unless no Is
a factor. He would be forced out of bust
ness. You must make an affidavit that you
viii sell the sugar at certain rate before
you get the rebate
One Of the articles in the factors agree
ment reads,
None of the sugar shall be sold by you
or disposed of by you for less than our
daily quotations with freight added from
point to point Of sale nor on more liberal
terms as to credit and cash discounts.
Witness made his agreement IN OCTOBER,
1s!~ and since he was thrown out he has
sold very little sugar. When a customer
wanted a barrel Of sugar he went out and
bought il from another grocer.
"Did you pay more for II than when you
bought from the American Sugar Refining
company"
YES; because l could not get the re-
bate"
Chairman Lexow said that on account OF
the absence Of Mr.. Searles the committee
would adjourn until Monday at 10 a m. He
added that he did not care to change the
limo of investigation until he had finished
the sugar inquiry
The committee will meet every day next
week
II has been announced that the commit
tee Will on Thursday enter upon an in
vestigation of the so-called wall paper
trust
Henry Burn, president of the National
Wall Paper company. has been subpoenaed
to testify.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14
brazilian Troubles.

New York. February ia dispatch from,
Rio Jnneiro. Brazil. Gays: Commerce Is
practically at RandstiIl. owing to the
political situation. There are fears In
some quarters, too. that President Moraes
will reassume power on March H.
Colonel Morera CaesGra. the commander
OF the troops operating against the fanatics
reports to the BRAZILIAN government that
the fanatics are anxious 10 avoid fighting
and are now gathered at Canubus and
Monte Sango.
The government has declared that II at
taohes no Importance TO the religion of the
fanatics and that the government is in nc
danger.
declaration OF a republic by the fanat-
les is received with reticencc by the Bra
lillian officers
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14
Volcano In Mexico.

oaxaca, Mexico, February 13--As a re-
suit of the recent earthquake shocks which
were felt throughout this state and in the
more distant parts OF Southern Mexico. a
new volcano has broken forth from one OF
south of here.
The volcano is pouring forth a great vol
ume Of lava and ashes, and the inhab-
itants OF Coatopec and surrounding coun-
try are much alarmed for the safety OF
their lives and property.
The disturbances continue to be felt al
intervals of every few hours but their
force is decreasing
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14
Colombian Navy.

Panama, February 13.-The government
OF Colombia has voted 6,o00,O francs for
the purchase OF more warships.
The navy now consists of only one
cruiser, the Cordoba. which was recently
fitted out in New York and which Warmed
out to be failure, the gunboats I.apoha
and Bayaca and the revenue cutters Ma
rino and Hercules.
The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-02-14
win Continue to Lecture.

Chicago. February 1S-W. J. Bryan
who is in the city. today said that he
would continue to lecture as long as oc-
cas.on required. As rule his lectures
will be given under the auspices Of the
Timetable league. or similar organize
lions. which would share in the receipts,
In this way he would be assisting the
silver cause and providing an Income Tor
himsek.