The news & observer. [volume] (Raleigh, N.C.) 1894-current, 1897-05-02
The Festive Populist Is Out
For the Stuff.
HAMRiCK WANTED MORE
HE WASN'T SATISFIED WITH
WHAT DEMOCRATS HAD.
HALLELUJAH AIR DOWNS HIM
The State Treasury is Nine Hundred
Dollars Better OH--Has Any
Performer" Yet Tried to
Save a Dollar?

| Save Dollar?
The festive Populist is out strictly for
the stuff. When he gets an office he
considers that it is fair game and he is
at liberty to work it for all that it is
worth. The Hon. Jay Yahoo Hamrick,
Commissioner of Labor Statistics, is no
reception to this rule.
This leading light" OF Cleveland
county Populism came fere with hayseed
in his hair and determination III his eye.
His office appeared to him great big
wallowing thing when he first came.
Then like the neg:o's catfish it began
to "swink." His S1,j00 salary soon
seemed mighty small, for he was taking
on city airs; then only $1,000 extra for
incidentals and clerk at S75 a month to-
pay out of that. This left only 81, 100
for all other expenses, Truly the grand
eur and pomp of this world was shrink
ing away. How could an ardent Popu-
list, whose beard had been allowed to
run at large for years, and whose hay
seed hair had seldom known the cruel
shears, be expected to thrive and spread
and grow, and nourish his patriotism, ON
so pitiful sum?
/ No legislature was in session to ask
for more money. State Treasurer Worth
was yelling hard-times at the top of his
voice, and there was no chance of get
ting him to wink at any questionable
vouchers. SO what could poor Populist
do?
The Hon. Jay Yahoo Hamrick was
equal to the task. He hunted up the
musty old law creating his office. 1t pro-
vided that he should have $1,000 a year
incidental expenses; it didn't say that one
of these incdentals should be a clerk.
Indeed it didn't say that that clerk should
have a red cent Of this $1,000. 1t pro-
vided for a clerk. but it didn't provide
any money for paying him. Why, there
was then but one way of paying him and
that was from the general fund in the
, Treasury. How easy? Why hadn't
somebody thought of it before?
SO the Hon. Jay Yahoo Hamrick
| hied himself away and in secret session,
unfolded to the State Auditor his ORR
ginal and powerful plan for increasing
the appropriation for the Bureau of La
bor Statistics just 5000 without any
: legislation.
Now the Rev. Hallelujah Aver is some
what of a genius himself He has, in his
halcyon days thought some mighty
thoughts and written some great State
papers, such for instance as turning out
two columns of inane drivel in order to
tell the public that he thinks that he has
thought of thinking about voting for
Frank Stronach for Mayor, and he thinks
he will. AS if the public cared what in
the blankety blank he thought or was
going to think or do.
And right here it might be very ap-
propriately remarked that this garboil
belched up out of the fearful holl0ws OF
the Rev. HalleluJah's vocal plant, touch
ng the comparative qualities of good
Democrats and goblins damned, shows
not only the mans amazing wealth or
wheels, but his utter loss to all sense of
decency and love of the political slime
in which he has wallowed so long. His
letter to Guy Barnes is simply splendid
or fertilizing purposes.
But to return to the Hon. Jay YahOO
Iamr;ck 1t took but a few minutes for
i'm to deliver himself of his explanation
of his construction of the law, arrived
at after an expenditure of several gal
ons of midnight oil. 1t was simple
ort of thing, this explanation of the law,
but it was at once apparent that 1t was
painful to the Auditor. He saw that he
had a rival in the wheel business.
So with one accord ne began to make
objections. Is it sound law? he asked
Is it good public policy? Is it opportune!
The Hon. Jay Yahoo Hamrick, Commls-
soner of Labor Statistics for North
Carolina, thought it was all these
Then-it saddens me to mention 1t
hen the Rev. Hallelujah Aver, the great
tate Auditor and endorser of Frank
Stronach, lifted up the palate OF ms
mouth. licked his mOustache and rolled
them into little ball, crossed his legs
and smiled 1t was a cruel smile, but
a smile worth just exactly $500 to the
State, and l hope at some future day
it may be collected from the archives OF
the Auditors Office and put under
glass case, in recognition of the service
it did in defending the Treasury upon
this memorable occasion from the itch
ling palm of the Hon. Jay Yahoo Ham
rick, Commissioner of Labor Statistics
or the State of North Carolina.
"Nay, nay, Pauline" were all the
words the Auditor uttered, but they were
sufficient. The Hon. Jay Y. tainted and
the Office boy came in and carried him
out. Yesterday afternoon he departed
or his home wiser man.
The Bureau OF Labor Statistics, pre-
ided over by the Hon. Jay Yahoo Ham
!, rick, will still continue to be run on the
,pitiable little sum-it fills me with grief
and sorrow to be obliged to mention it
of $3,5O0 q year. Can anyone ever
. hereafter rise up in the face of this and
say that true craftsmanship is not dis
!. lcouraged in this country?