davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
Couldn't Rely on His Face.

1t is sometimes embarrassing to pre-
sumo too far on ones own nobility of
countenance. There is a story Of an
Edinburgh sheriff who lost twopenny
railway ticket, and was accordingly
asked for his fare.
81 have already paid it." said he.
Then where's your ticket"
Il have lost it,
Then you must pay again"
Come now, friend" said the sheriff.
''just glance at my face and tell me if
for twopence"
The cash-taker obediently inspected
the countenance offered, and then said,
dryly:
I'll just thank you for that tuppenser'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
Pulled Down the TrOcha.

Picking up an entire section of the
trocha, the tall American volunteer
dumped it to one side with an ineffable
snort OF contempt.
Come on menu he shouted.
When the engagement was ended and
Weyler in full retreat, the long journalist
crawled out from under the baggage
wagon and remarked to the short jour
nalist. who appeared from behind tree:
by George, didn't the lanky fellow
handle that trocha in a grand way?
Where did he learn the trick?'
The short journalist grinned.
He gets it all right" he said. "That's
Col. Sorghum of Kentucky, and he's
done nothing else for the past six months
but pull down toll gates.
ploiOdpa1Qr
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
Fruit Pests in California.

From the Southern California counties
come bitter complaints of the spread of
fruit pests, due to the lack of proper
inspection of imported fruit trees and
shrubs. The Riverside county officials
have condemned and burned several car
loads of young orange trees from Aus
tralia and Hawaii. and they now call
upon the people to act with them in put
ting an end to the importation of this
infected stock. The orange and lemon
parasites are said to be increasing so
rapidly in the best districts of Southern
California as to threaten the destruction
of the finest groves.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
it Was Before the Day Of
: 4 o. %
They Used to Say "Woman's
Work Is Never Done"

Some of the orders for books sent to
London publishers by country CORE
spondents are highly amusing. One
bookseller wrote for work of Harry
Stockles," when he wanted something of
Aristotle's: another who wanted eau
deamus,'' by Farmer, asked for God
aim US, by d farmer and a third sent
a request for "Pharaoh's Life of Christ, -
when he wanted Dean Farrar's cele-
brated work.
WHEN bf1ous or costive. eat Cascare candy ca
thartlc, cure guaranteed, 10c, 25c-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
WISCONSIN Patents

Patents for the following Wisconsin
inventors are reported for this week by
Erwin, Wheeler & Wheeler, IS and So
Loan and Trust building, Milwaukee,
Wis. These attorneys will furnish the
Inventors Handbook free:
j. Bruss, Milwaukee table: A. Kalten
brunn. St. Nazianz, feed cutter; e. and ]
KIingenberg, Commonwealth, wise; G. w
LevaIley Milwaukee, conveyor; V. V
Moore, Baraboo, car coupling; A. G.. Olson
West Superior, bicycle support; j. F. Theur
and o. Mueller, assgr., Milwaukee, cask
pitching apparatus; Z. w. TrimbOrn, Mil
waukee assgr., safety device for elevators
w. H. Watson, Eau Claire, case construc
tion +. j.. WoodhOuse, Waupun, tire fol
bicycles; Freeman Milling company, West
Superior, middlings frademarkl.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

A Boston man wears sewed to his
undershirt a card with the inscriptions
MY appendix has been cut out" He
gives this reason for his action: "You
see these are the palmy knitting days of
the surgeon If a man falls in a fit or
faints, or is disguised mentally by drug,
and is carried consequently to a hospital,
the surgeon operates on him for appen-
dicitis without delay
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

wine from the goblet the rabbi holds, af-
ter which the bridegroom takes the glass
himself, drops it on the ground and
brushes it beneath his heel. The rabbi
says: mo more than this glass can be
united again can this couple be separat-
ed This is the end of the ceremony and
it is followed by q supper to the guests
seated at long tables, where speeches are
made and congratulate given the bride
and groom.-Springheld Republican.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

1t is estimated that January interest
and dividend payments on foreign-held
American securities amount to between
$40,00O,000 and $5O,000,000.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
THE SPINNING WHEEL

I 80
Beside her wheel my ladye sits and spins
the liye!ong day,
The drifted wool her fairy touch like magic
neltS away.
Certes, she is passing fair-fairer than verse
may tell;
She winds the skein about my hands, and
round my heart a spell
The sunbeams dancing in her eyes dare me
kiss to steal
From gentle Mistress Dorothy beside her
spinning wheel.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The Jewish wedding ceremony is al
most the same today as it has been for
centuries. simple and impressive, but
quite different from our ceremonies. Re
ligious Hebrews prefer to get married in
the open air under q canopy of silk called
the huppat, which is supported at the four
corners of the square by poles. The first
in the wedding procession is the rabbi.
carrying u glass of wine. Next come
four bearers carrying the canopy. each
holding a pole. Next come the parents
If the bride and groom and behind them
the bride and groom arm i'll arm. The
canopy is halted and held ct the desired
spot, the bride and groom going under it.
The groom stands still and the bride
walks around him three times. then takes
her place at his right hand, while the rab-
bi is singing a song of praise. Then the
bridegroom takes his BRIDES hand and
slips on her finger the plain gold wedding
ring, saying in Hebrew: Thus do
make thee my wife according to the laws
of Moses &ud the customs of Israel"
Both bride and bridegroom take a sip of
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
Lanes Family Medicine

Moves the bowels each day. In or
der to be healthy this is necessary.
Acts gently on the liver and kidneys.
Cures sick headache. Price Is and Soc
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

There is a grapevine at Oys, Portu-
gal, which bears a sufficient amcu unit of
grapes to make an average of $50 gal
Ions of wine a year.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

In the year 1895 Switzerland had
2,66S,1O4 native habitants and 100000
resident foreigners, while 5000 Swiss
were living in other countries.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
COVERED WITH SORES
FACE AND THROAT WE'RE AZ
FECTEO.

Hoods SarsaparilIa Cures - Disease
Completely Eradica ted by This Great
Medicine.
The fact that Hoods Sarsaparilla has
power TO cure a great variety OF dis
eases is due to its peculiar combination,
proportion and process, which enables
it thoroughly to purify the blood. y
great variety Of diseases are caused by
impurities in the blood and it is by re-
moving these impurities that Hood 5
Sarsaparilla strikes at the root Of the
disease and effects positive cure
where other medicines only relieve the
symptoms.
Hoods Sarsaparilla has done great
good in my family. My wife's throat
was in a terrible condition, being COW
cred all over with sores. The roof OF
her mouth was also affected, and there
was a hole in the right side of her
tongue. Her lower lip was in Dad
condition and her
Whole Body Was Covered
with red blotches. Some OF the leading
doctors prescribed for her, and she was
under their treatment for some time
without benefit. l did not know what
to do next, but finally resolved to try
Hoods Sarsaparilla, and believe if she
had not begun the use Of this medicine,
she would now be beyond the reach OF
any remedy. The first bottle of Hood S
SarsapariIla did not seem to do much
good, but before the second was gone
she was cured She has taken three
bottles in order completely to eradicate
the disease, and she never felt better
in her life than she does at the present
time. l will never be without Hood ;
Sarsaparilla in my house. | believe II
has no superior as medicine" James
H. O'Neil, 4433 Halsted street, Chicago,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

While President Roosevelt was in Gin
cinnati 4 few days ago a reporter Ques-
toned him about some savage abuse of
his civil-service views that appeared re-
Gently in a New York paper. AS posi-
bly, throwing some light on the obviously
malignant character of this attack, MI
Roosevelt said: "Just before Thanks
giving a representative of the paper in
question came to me and said that he
was interviewing a number of prominent
men as to what they were thankful for
l told him that l was thankful thai l
did not read his paper" This recalls
the epigram of another well-known New
Yorker. now out of Office who. when
asked what he thought was the explana-
ton of the enormous circulation of an
other exponent of ''the new journalism"
replied: '"There is a great number Of hogs
in the world, and your paper gives them
sWil. New York Times.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
A City Printing Plant.

There is a possibility that the city of
Boston may try an interesting expert
ment in municipal ownership by estab-
fishing its own printing plant. Speaking
of this, the Boston Herald says: when
the mayor presents his plan to the city
council he will undoubtedly have strong
support in favor of it. 1t is understood
that there is no city in the country that
does its own printing, and the expert
ment Will be watched with a good deal
of interest The only public printing Of
flee in the country is that of the national
government at Washington. The sue
and if the city Of Boston can equal it
the experiment will have proved sue
caSS -
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Beautiful birds and fragrant flowers
are natures charm but divinely lovely
complexion comes from the use of
Glenn's Sulphur Soap.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
No-to-Bac for Fifty Cents.

Over 100000 cured. Why not let No-To-Bac
regulate or remove your desire for tobacco?
Save money, makes health and m nhood. Cure
guaranteed, soc and ST., all druggists.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The public lands still vacant in this
country amount to over 100000 acres
without including Alaska with its $685.
ono 600 acres
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
Coughing Leads to Consumption.

Kemps Balsam will stop the cough at
once Go to your druggist today and get
a sample bottle free. Sold in % and 90
cent bottles. Go at once; delays are
dangerous
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The largest encyclopedia work in ex-
istence is the Buddhist Tangym. It
includes 225 volumes. Only four sets
| are known to exist
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Persian history claims that the Per
slams are descended from PerseGs and
Andromeda.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

"Our new neighbors are very polite"
said Mrs. Perkase to her husband when
he came home at night.
care they?'
eyes; l went to borrow their steplad-
der and they told me they hadn't one,
but if I'd wait awhile they'd send and
buy one.'-Harper's Bazaar.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Send for one of our Special Corsets at
2Jc. This price only for two weeks.
ESPENHAIN DRY GOODS CO.,
Milwaukee,
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Harry Rumble of Atchison county,
No, sets up a claim as the champion
corn-huslzer of the world.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
1896.

Searching down the boulevard.
Chewing gum and pedaling hard.
Ting ling. Almost knock me fat,
Dizzy tie, Fedora hat.
Scarlet boomers. TITS q picture
Makes my very senses reel.
What was that? I ask. O, merely
Dot astride her spinning wheel.
Ernest Neal Lyon
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

''Would you please help me?' said the
poor beggar to the pedestrian. 81 have
wife ard five children at home, and an
instaliment TO pay on my bicycle to-
morrow !''-Yonkers Statesman
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Buckingham's Dye for the Whiskers
does its work thoroughly, coloring a
uniform brown Or black, which, when
dry, will neither rub, wash off, nor soil
linen
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

During last year there were %, $50
deaths in Chicago, a rate of 1927 per
1000.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

I shall recommend Piso's Cure for Con-
sumption far and wide.-Mrs. Mulligan,
Plumstead, Kent, England, Nov s, 1895.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
SPINNING WHEEL.
a BOSTON BABY.


Baby's brain is tired Of thinking
On the wherefore and the whence;
Baby's precious eyes are blinking
With incipient sOmnolence.
Little hands are weary turning
Heavy leaves of lexicon
Little nose is fretted, learning
How to keep its glasses on.
Baby knows the laws of nature
Are beneticent and wise;
His medullo oblongata
Bids my darling close his eyes.
And his pneumogastrics tell him
Quietude is always best
When his little cerebellum
Needs recuper2tiYe rest.
Baby must have relaxation,
Let the world go wrong or. right
Sleep. my darling: leave creation
To its chances for the night.
Boston Pilot.
''And you have found Paris charm
ing:" said Paris doctor 60 two Ameri-
can ladies.
Just great" replied the mother.
We've been here fortnight, and we've
seen everything and everybody"
Then the daughter chimed in: eyes,
as ma said yesterday. if we stopped here
much longer we should become regular
PARISHES"
In the churchyard of ST. John. Worces-
ter, England, is an eDitaph which, If
breyity is the soul of wit, has high claim
on that character:
Honest John
5 dead and gone.
Here are some miscellaneous gro
tesQues:
Here lies me and my three daughters,
Brought here by using Cheltenham waters
If we had stuck to Epson salts
We wouldn't be in these here vaults.
From a New Hampshire churchyard:
To all my friends l bid adieu,
A more sudden death you never knew.
As l was leading the old mare to drink.
She kicked, and killed me Quickern wink
On an East Tennessee lady:
She lived a life of virtue, and died Of chol
era mOrbus, caused by eating green fruit
in hope of a blessed immortality, at the
early age of y years months and is days
Reader, go thou and do likewise"
The following must be taken as a fling
at noble profession:
Here lies the corpse of DR.. Chard
Who filled the half of this churchyard.
This is as bad as the unkind hint con
veyed in the following, in u churchyard
near Newmarket:
Here lies the body Of Sarah Sexton,
Who never did aught to YeX one,
Not like the woman under the next stone.
On FooIe, the comedian:
Foote from his earthly stage. alas, is hurled
Death took him off, who took off all the
world.
On William Button in a churchyard
near Sanbury:
o sun, moon, stars and ye celestial poles,
Are graves, then, dwindled into Button
holes? Current Literature.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
THE PLUNGER

THE PLUNGEK.
After the play is over
My darling and l repair
To the swell cafe across the way,
And have Il supper there.
After the supper's over
/ pay for the little spree,
And then for week I'm forced to seek
Out places where lunch is free.
Cleveland Leader.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The victims of Judge Lynch in 1893
numbered 200; in 1894, 100; in 1895, Ill,
and in 1896, 131
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
Danger EnyirOnS Us.

II we live in region where malaria is prey
alent 1t is useless. to hope to escape it if
unproyided with a medicinal safeguard.
wherever the endemic is most prevalent
and malignant-in South and Central Amer
lea, the West Indies and certain portions
OF Mexico and the Isthmus of Panama, Hos
letters Stomach BitterS has proved q rem
edy for and preventive of the disease III
ing rheumatism, liver and kidney COM
paints, dyspepsia, biliousness and nervous
ness.
There will be a round million of
plants on the exposition grounds at
Nashville next summer.
STATE OF ONO, CITY OF TOLEDO So
LUCAS COUNTY.
Frank J. Cheney makes oath that he IS
the senior partner Of the firm Of b. j.
Cheney q Co., doing business in the City
of Toledo, county and state aforesaid, and
that said firm will pay the sum of ONE
HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by the
use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK ]. CHENEY
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presense, this 9th day OF December, a. =.
1886.
SEAL A. W. 'i Hosa7y pi.o7tc
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
and acts directly on the blood and mucous
monialS, free.
F. ]. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O.
Sold by Druggists 75c.
CAsCARETs stimulate liver kidneys and bowels. New
er scken, weaken or gripe. 1Oc.
The private estates of the Gar cover
100000 square miles.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

During 1896 there were $500 suicides
in the United States, an increase OF 76f
over 1895.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Out of $4,000 school teachers in Prus
STA only 5000 are women.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The sale of beer in syphons. like
aerated waters, promises to revolutiCnize
the bottling business. The deterioration
of beer in bottles when a single glass is
drawn is entirely obyiated by this sys-
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The Vermont Legislature has adopt
cd a law requiring heavy wagons to
have wide tires.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

''Have you heard from uncle who went
to Africa as a missionary" ooh, yes!
A friend sent me the menu. "-Fliegende
Blaetter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The Texas league pitcher, William
Wellner, has signed with Scranton.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
DR., MCNAMARA.

Established 1851 for the cure
OF Nervous Debility, Exhaustion
of Brain Energy, Mental Aberra-
ton, Physical Prostitution, Sexu.
al Weakness, kidne, AHA ctions,
Blood Diseases, Barrenness,
Leuco,fhoea, Monthly Period
and Marriage. Medical Rooms
Corner of Johnson Street and
620 Broadway, Milwaukee, Wis.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

In Central South America. eggs, CO.
coanutS and chocolate pass currency
of the realm
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Send for Pamphlet with Special Prices
on Corsets and Muslin Underwear.
ESPENHAIN DRY GOODS CO..
Milwaukee, Wis
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

JUST try 1Oc box OF Cascarets, candy cathartc, fin
est liver and bowel regulator made
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
THE CURSE OF DRINK.
Touching the curse of drink.
Can any one certain be
Which has broken up more homes,
Rum or O'Clock tea?
Detroit Journal

Police Magistrate Kudlich OF New
York, says the Times, adds to his otker
qualifications for presiding over minor
court a knowledge of many modern
tongues, and the other day in the Jeffer-
son market court he gave an exhibition Of
his versatility. The complainant was a
German, and the cOrrobOrating witness
an Italian, while the accused man was a
Swiss. They were all speaking together.
making contradictory statements, when
the magistrate interfered. He berated
SOundly each in his own language for
transgressing the decorum of the court.
and when he had secured silence and
noticed the astonished looks of the court
attendants he stopped suddenly, and,
turning to the official interpreter, said:
! Come, professor. this is most irregular
Attend to your duties.
-)o(-
"You say, madame. that you would
make any sacrifice for suffering Cuba :?
Would you let your son go to the front
| as an insurgent volunteerT
No. no. ! couldn't do that. At least
not now Do not ask me TO make such
a sacrifice
And why not, madame?
Because my son is the only young
man in town who can properly lead the
| german. ''-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
| Between Waltzes-Molly-"H said the
| world had been a desert to him till he
met me- Polly-"That explains why he
| dances so like camel, l suppose. >
! Puck
-:O:
| ''Have you heard from uncle who went
! to Africa as a missionaryY' ooh, yes!
A friend sent me the menu. '-Fliegende
! Blaetter.
/ "Would you please help me?' said the
! poor beggar to the pedestrian 81 have Il
wife ard five children at home, and an
| installment 10 pay on my bicycle to-
| morrow !''-Yonkers Statesman.
The sale of beer in syphons. like
aerated waters, promises to revolUtiGnize
the bottling business. The deterioration
| of beer in bottles when a single glass is
drawn is entirely obyiated by this sys-
| TEN.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

There are always 10000 strangers
in London.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

"A Garden City (Kas) boy supports
his family by trapping coyotes for their
Dpltg
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13
COMPENSATION.

IT'S a bitter disappointment to the boy
when he gets wise;
Learns that Santa Claus is only his old
father in disguise
But his grief is mitigated and is robbed
of all the sting
If the bogus Santa only does by him the
proper thing.
If he finds his Christmas stocking buging
out with hoyish toys,
Guns and horns and drums and trumpets
that give out unearthly noise,
Sleds and skates and ticking watches
boats that sail and tops that whirl.
should be the hired girl.
Chicago Record.
An Oklahoma editor expresses his
thanks for a basket of oranges thus:
We have received a basket of oranges
from our friend Gus Bradley, for which
he will please accept our compliments,
some of which are nearly six inches in di-
ameter.'
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Between Waltzes-Molly-F' He said the
world had been a desert to him till he
met me-" Polly-"That explains why he
dances so like a camel, l suppose
Puck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

Special sale at special prices in En-
broideries, Ladies' Muslin Underwear,
Corsets and Wash Goods during January
ESPENHAIN DRY GOODS co.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

There are 300 women BARRIERS and
hair-dressers in this country.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The best way to know whether Dobbins' Floating
Borax Soap the fer laundry and bath is TO tfy IT,
1t dos snr turn yellow Ike other 0ating soaps as II Ia
pure Red wrapper. Ask your grocer lor D0DDnS
Floating BoraX.
HRS. Winslow's SOOTHING SYRUP for chill
dren teethng, sottens the gums, reduces inflam-
nation, allays pain, cures wind collie. 25ca bottle.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

There will be round million of
plants on the exposition grounds at
Nashville next summer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

When you ask for Badger Soap, see
that you get it.
The mail carriers in Northern Maine
have put on their skates
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

The private estates of the Gar cover
100000 square miles.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-13

CAsCARETs stimulate liver, kidneys and bowels. New
n sicken, weaken gripe. l0c.