The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-05-23

People or tho sunnower sists say THAT Some OF
Them Arc Exaggerated ana THAT Othcrs
Arc Even Made Out or whole Cloth.

hRhlnbJ Lnhn blHnlnRi llkoWlSc more lieu hRhlnsl
than lying. This holds good in everything ox'
cept politics. No story has yet been told depict
ing tho frightful condition of Kansas politics that
exaggeratcs II in the least. But, for instance:
II one of the gentle zephyrs of Kansas becomes
aggravated and gets an extraordinary move on
itself for a brief period Kansas had n cyclone,
destroying life and property %galorc;' II q hot
wind strikes ono corner OF n township
In a county in one corner Of tho State
1.-THE crops Of the entire state have been
destroyed by hot winds;" II the rivers arc
the least bit swollen, western Kansas is mum
Dated II the western part Of the state lacks
some moisture cit is 80 dry all over the State
that you have to run your we'll through a
wringcr to get enough water to cook With" II
the State Is favored with an average crop or bet.
tor, Two have raised enough to feed the world; -
II the crops fall below tho average, "the people
are on the verge Of starvation"
And so 1t goes; Kansas always has trouble.
No ono more fully appreciates that such stories
arc accepted by many strangers as virtually
truthful incidents OF life in the Sunflowcr State
than Mr.. +. ID. Coburn, Secretary OF her Depart
mcnt Of Agriculture. who has for years been
making O collection of such as seemed to best II.
l~ustrate the tyne of joke always in order when
Kansas 10 mentioned. 1t requires two large on.
yelopcs to hold them, and as samples OF tho truly
| hTLlbIlC IN l1e-mhklnR nc rates tho following as
among the highest:
Here is an example of what a Kansas tornado
can do. or what n Kansas liar can do. when
forced to It: A farmer had u large crib filed with
ear corn, and there was a knothole in the south
end Of the crib. 1t was struck by a tornado and
1t 10 claimed that the suction was 30 great that
cob after cob was drawn through the hole and
the farmer was left with a crib of shelled corn.
Several stories which the reader can or connot
believe, Just as he secs At, were started after the
Seneca tornado, two years ago. had violated the
tion of property and departed for parts nm
known; Probably the b%estone was this: A man
Whisky EiSin led a'G %Iih on a s strsp sS th wi saddle H RSr Of
After the blow had ceased the jug handle was
found inside the jug and the strap was sticking
J out or the nozzle. the jug having been blown In
side out without splitting a drop Of liquor.
During this same blow a goat happened to get
his hide as clean as a skinned banana. The AM.
mai looked SO much like u Mexican dog with
no another hnat c aS %a wB RiieSSe th On tornado eat WINS to
blow the side whisxers of a travelling man and
plant them on the side of a woman's face, where
ploughing around an oblong patch OF ground
land still contained about Ave acres. When he
quit for the day he left the plough sticking in
came san su alonE as and fa cnmgs, ot tSs 6 do, Ihf ta t9Ensd ie
around the land until It was ali ploughed.
a kansan abroad recently found a crowd that
70 compel the Popuiist farmers OF Kansas to pay
tornado stories, hoping to attract attentions:
- saw a cyclone once said he. that picked
up u straw stack and moved IL n mile and put 1t
back, straw on straw. as il was"
Two or three of the auditors yawned and tho
Kansas man tried il !! sgnin; -,
suck sixty gallons OF molssses out Of a barrel In
front OF a grocery store and distribute it to every
family In town who had a bucket out on the back
He cleared his throat and began again: Back
western Kansas. It blew the Cracks osi'1 OF th bs
moved g township line and changed the day OF
This last fusillade induced one of the listeners
to speak up. He said: Il do not know much
saw a waterspout pick. up tons and tons Of water
Hold en-" cried the Kansan: IF YOU, are
St q sS Ssm mn snd Iy MnfLs sSn sssy l po %iI. %asIiro'" And
this story and expected people TO believe it:
~ was out in Kansas last summer, and tho
lar. ike other folks. The house was soon blown
away. The next thing l knew the caller went.
soon spilled out. With indnito labor I crawied
back In the teeth Of the wind. intending to take
my CONSERVATION I found that that had blown
away also"
A prominent kansan is accredited with telling
Toll you what's a fact. 1 have known it to
blow twelve days and nights on a stretch and
h9ld a sheep up against the side of the barn I'M
th PrO Oos',,gn the re story ,S. pC which better better i II
than any told In recent years is this:
Kansas Man Visiting in the East,-Yes.. sir.
Kansas is the country for the farmers. Look at
that they make whole counties sink down in the
middle. Look at her corn crop. so vast that It
same Kansas Man lat the Populist meeting in
his own NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. sufferers: Dry
weather. Hcssian flies, and goldbuRs prey like
plastered over with mortgages so heavy that we
have to bore a hole through thom with an auger
in order to plant corn. Rouse. ye slaves!
A country editor not far from Summerheld,
just after receiving a cord Of wood and a big
pen In the ink and dashed this of: "When you
talk about there being a better State than Kan
sas. every potato winks its eye. every beet gets
red in the face. every onion gets stronger. every
oat field is shocked, the rye strokes It's beard,
the corn Prtcks up its cars and every foot OF
There has been a premium offered for the cap
ture OF the man who started this clever lie: "A
gathered 1t into his, barn; The barn took fire.
the corn popped and filled a ten-acre field. His
old old mare mare :, ,hiaIking it a snow storm. lay down
In discussing the question in western Kansas
n cSant tong ssi nfo. 7 t flt1fe That ffG Kah ,ns s q in ns sFs ss
a good deal of irrigation. There are times when
1t Is so dry in the western part OF the State that
you have to soak n hog over night before he will
hold swill. There are places where water Is wet
only on one side. know a place where the owner
Of a ferryboat hauls water eleven months in the
year to Keep his ferry running. Why, water is
SO scarce there that the men won't drink it. The
cause of this drought is that the railroads of
Kansas have cornered the water supply OF the
State to put into their stock"
Here is another drought story told by a trav-
elling man: II was driving across the country
TO u little town in Western Kansas the other
day, when met q farmer hauling a wagon load
OF water.
".Where do you get water T said l..
up the road about seven miles. he replied.
family and stockr
"'Yep."
well r.
"'Because it's Jest as far one way as the other.
stranger
A Kansas farmer took exception to this Sian.
der on the Sunfiower State, and called the editor
OF the paper publishing II to account. "You
poor, benighted heather in tho East don't know
anything about Kansas weather." he wrote.