The DeLamar nugget. [volume] (DeLamar, Idaho) 1891-1900, 1897-07-09
kangaroo Court in Muir City.

Judge Hamm's court opened prompt
ly at II p. M, "accordin' to the stat
cots" and after minor cases had been
disposed of the case of John Dock VS..
Sad Wells & Jolly Franks taken up.
A. H. Newman opened for the defense
| as follows:
"Yonr Honor, and gentlemen of the
jury-The plaintiff is indeed lucky
individual to have as attorneys "Half q
Half. Porter and Beer is delicious
compound. 1 could not understand
why Attorney Porter had so affected
the court, but now it is quite plain.
Every one here had eagerly drank in
every word that flowed from the mouth
of my brilliant opponent and intoxica-
ton was the result" Attorney New
man then questioned the plaintiff,
aid you see any one stealing your
bug incubator?"
Plaintiff-"No SIR"
A.-"Did any person see any other
person purloining your incubator"
P.-"I don't know"
A.-"Then, in the name of thunder,
on what grounds did you bring this
case against the gentleman"
P.!"On the DeLamar Company's
ground, SIR"
This answer nearly caused a riot and
it was only avoided by the presence of
mind of Judge Hamm, who at this
point invited all hands out to take a
drink. Attorney Newman glared at
the plaintiff with his most paralizing
glare and the plaintiff meekly hung
down his head and blushed for John
Dock is very modest man, as every
one knows. Gentle reader, please do
not yell "rats," at the last statement.)
The next witness for the defense was
Tom Shaws.
A.-"Did you see the plaintiffs bed
lying on the rock?"
T. S.-"Yes, sir"
Add you go near the incubator"
T. S.-"No, sir. Not nearer than 20
feet; 1 was afraid of the thing"
A.-"What were you afraid OFF"
T. Sd was afraid the menagerie
might get loose and attack me-"
The next witness called was Mart
Mons.
A.-"Are you acquainted with the
PLAINTIFF"
NJ. M.-"Yes, sir, have known him
these last five years.
A.-"What do you know of him."
NJ. MI know that he prides him
self on being great practical joker
and takes malicious pleasure in tor
menting his fellowmen, in fact it is
mania of his"
A.-"Does he enjoy a joke if it is
played upon him?"
NJ. M.-"No sir, not at all; he gets
into a rage and this trial is the result
of a joke played on him and he is now
seeking revenge"
A.-"Then the incubator was not
stolen?"
NJ. M.-"No sir. 1 can explain how
it disappeared, if the court will accept
it as evidence"
Judge 1--we will do So"
NJ. M.-''Well, as you are aware, I am
working close to where the incubator
lay, these two months in undisturbed
repose. Well, one day 1 heard queer
music outside the ore bin. 1 went out
to see where the music came from. |
thought, at first that it was the Della
mar band practicing in the school house
getting ready for the Fourth of July,
put l was mistaken. The music came
rom the incubator. 1 stepped up TO it
md saw that it was alive with eat-me-
~ Knights, and they were singing thusly:
Good bye to Dock, the practical joker.
Good bye, dear Dock, good bye;
Veil steal your bed, you'll swear like
a stoker,
Good bye, dear Dock. good bye.
food bye, dear Dock,your jokes are too
rough,
Good bye, old fellow, good bye,
Ven no longer stay, your hide is too
tough,
Good bye, dear Dock, good bye. t
1.-THE singing ceased, and the bugs be- !
an to tear the mattress into pieces,
nd then arrayed in flowing robes in
ingle file marched gaily down the trail,
n route for the Queens jubilee" {
This closed the testimony and Judge l
Iamm summed up as follows.
"After hearing the testimony against
be defendants, Sad Wells and Jolly
ranks, this court comes to the con-
fusion that they are not guilty and
,cordin, IN the statoots we can't hold