Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1897-09-25
EA !'5IIg :! shEluY
3 ;::$ -

/ Mamma, If l am good will go to
/ heaven" Mamma: Yes, dear"
How'll l get backY-Cinclnnati Com
mercial-Tribune.
Waiter, it is almost half an hou,
/ since | ordered that turtle soup"
/ Waiter: Sorry, sir, but you know how
slow turtles are."-Tid-Bits
Greeble: SIS that your baby?". Craw
don: NO. sir; the possession is on the
other side. He is not my baby; I'm his
/ Naturalization Transcript.
why did you manufacture this bad
money! the magistrate said sternly.
/ Cos | couldn't turn out no better" re-
piled the counterfeiter.-Tit-B Bits.
she was born with silver spoon in
her mouth, and ! suppose she's got to
be pretty" Isn't there "A limit? What
! if it was a tablespoon Y'-Detroit Jour
! nal.
| Bacon: "What do you suppose is the
meaning of this long rainY Egbert:
"Oh, l think possibly 1t is out of COM
/ pliment to Queen Victoria. "-Yonkers
/ Statesman.
/ My darling, l always feel like TAX
! ing off my shoes when | enter your sa-
/ cred presence" well, would rather
you did it now than after we are mar
/ ried. Life.
Fuddy: Il never ride a tandem wheel
unless l can have the rear saddle"
buddy: That's funny" Not at all.
don't care to have anybody talking
behind my back. Boston Transcript.
/ Fair poatess: think, only think,
how many possibilities there are con
tanned in this dingy case of type
Proofreader: Yes, just so; especially
| of typographical errors. "-SOmerville
Journal.
Doctor" asked the seeker after
knowledge of the clergyman, why do
people get on their knees to pray in
stead of standingY They want to
save their soles," replied the clever
minister.--Harlem Life.
"Oh, mamma" the beautiful girl ex-
claimed, "he adOres me SO, and he is so
noble and handsome and" Eyes,
my child" And he brings such lovely
references from his last wife."-Detroit
Journal.
The butler: Hand hevery night at
the hour of midnight the ghost hap
pears and groans and wrings its
/ hands" American tourist: "Ah! Must
have died in the cucumber season.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
"They may say what they like
against him." said the convicted ones
defender, but his heart is in the right
place" YES" assented the other,
land so is the rest of him, for a few
years. indianapolis News.
Mrs. Tenspot: isn't it odd that the
encores are always much more enjoya-
bic than the regular Plumbers of the
programme" Mr.. TenspOt: Eyes, 1t
is. | wonder why they don't sing the
encores tirst."-Judge.
There" said the man of schemes ''is
a limit to the liberation of the public"
And you found it?' "Yup. | met
total frost when | started out with Il
lecture on How | Intend to Find the
North Pole indianapolis Journal.
Reporter: How many years have
you been in public lifeY Statesman:
"Twenty- four" Reporter "But your
biographer says twenty-eight." States
man: He includes four years when |
was vice president. New York Jour
nal.
"Oh, say, Proudly, | was very sorry
to hear that you had lost all your
money" Lost all my money" snorted
Proudly, and he produced a roll that
filed his fist. Let me take twenty till
( tomorrow, old an.'-Detroit Free
Press.
when l grow up, nom, l want you
to make a minister out of me-" why,
Johnny. | am glad that such Is your
desire. l viii speak to your father
/ about it." "Yes'h; l want to go to Eu-
rope every summer "-Cleveland Plain
/ Dealer.
What did that man do to make him
self so famous" asked the altrurian.
gazing curiously on an individual who
/ formed the center of a social group.
ITO the best of my knowledge" replied
the cynic, che did the public. Wash
| ington Times.
| The dentist: would you like your
teeth made with patent adhesive
springs? They hold each set perfectly
true" The humorist: Il don't know.
1t doesn't seem quite right TO mix up
the true with the false in that man
ner." -Washington Star.
He: 81 wonder why that young man
and young woman occupy two seatsE
/ should think they could easily crowd
into one and give some of the other
passengers a chance to sit down" She:
ooh, I suppose they've been married
for year or two."-Cleveland Leader.