davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
Not Much of n Prophet.

Yeast-What do you think of that
man Blobbs? He reads the future, you
know.
Observation-Disclosures nothing! Twas
with him last night until late, and do
you know what the last thing he said
to me was?
''No; I can't imagine"
"He said your wife won't say thing
to you tonight He's a fake!"-Yon-
kers Statesman.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
Modern SOn-In-Law,

She-You won't object to having dear
mamma live with us after we are mar
ried, will you?
He Ga young doctor)-Not at all. In
fact, she will be most welcome
She-It's 50 good of you to say so!
He-Not at all. You see, she is al
ways ailing, and really need somebody
to experiment on!-Comic Cuts.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

The death plant of Java has flowers
which continually give off perfume sc
ro,Yer.al ., 10 overcome, if inhaled for
an icu2th cf tine, full-grown man,
ard wi:irh k;lls all forms of insect life
tina. GENE ubdtc It's influence.-Cincin-
natl Enquirer.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

when we are married you will give
me everything l ask?'
Everything, sweetheart, every
thing"
And then he walked home to save
car fare.-N. Y. Truth
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

bridegroom (about to marry the
youngest of three sisters)-My dear
friend. want you to stand immediate
ly behind me during the ceremony and
keep your eyes open. | am very near
sighted, and | am afraid they may sub
,nDnlrrr--CliDs
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

Miss Manchester-Do you know that
after Ellen refused Mr.. Esplanade he ac-
tually committed suicide?
Miss Monterey-Really?
yes"
"Then he is dead in love with her,
even now" - Pittsburgh Chronicle
Telegraph.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
THE CRETAN SITUATION.
Always on His Hands.

Bacon-Cousins says he can count all
of his relatives on his two hands.
Egbert-Well, l don't see why he
shouldn't: that's where he seems to have
them most of the time.-Yonkers States
man.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
Got No Credit for 1t.

81 haven't any confidence in Hicks
worthy. He's hypocrite."
What makes you think SOP"
81 saw him when he mashed his
thumb accidentally with hammer the
other day. All he said was: 'ouch!' -
Chicago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

"You don't even dress me decently,"
she cried. I'm going home to papa"
"All right" replied Doolits; you
might say to him also that need a new
suit myself" - Philadelphia North
American
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

Women are responsible for nearly
all the foolishness in this world
THAT may or may not be true, but
prize fights and siX-day bicycle races
are got up entirely by men."-Chicago
Record.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
Very Like.

Miss Musicale-Did you enjoy Prof.
Bahso Profundo's singing last night?
Don't you think his voice sounds like
a distant waterfall?
Mr.. Crittycuss-Well, yes; do think
it was away off.-Baltimor News.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
The Facts Against 1t.

Hojack-I don't believe in heredity.
Tomdik-Why not?
Hojack-The Father of His Country
could not tell lie, but look at his chi.
drens successful efforts in that direc.
tion.-N, Y. Truth.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

Mother-Did you steal the cake, Ed
die?
Eddie-No, ma 'am Did I, Elsie?
Elsie (who got piece of the cake)-
No deed, mammal saw him didn't
N. Y. Truth.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

do pro and con always refer t.
things that are opposed to each other?"
YES"
Then understand why congress is
always in opposition to progress. Chi
Cago Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

To young soldier wounded in battle
the surgeon remarked that he could see
his brain. The poor patient exclaimed:
'Oh, please write home and tell ia
Their, for he always said that never had
any.'-Tit-Bits
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
The Superlative.

Herbert-My pa is richer'n your pa.
Freddie-No, he amt.
Herbert-My pa owns three houses
on one block.
Freddie-Um-but my pa owns the
mortgage on 'em.-N. Y. Truth.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

The Teacher Ito girls high school
class)-Now, what is the past tense of
love?
The Class lin chorus) Divorce!-Pick-
Me-Up.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

"We heard some of the straEgest,
nest outlandish things last might" be-
gan the woman who gossips.
yes" replied the woman who
doesn't, $50 a friend attending your
musicale was telling me."-Detroit Free
Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

will you have u little whipped
cream?" asked the hostess.
"No, thank YOU" he answered; Il
er-er-I prefer my cream unpunished."
Chicago Post.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
No Chance for 1t.

do you live in a quiet part of the
town."
How can live in a quiet part of the
town when pianos are sold on the in
stallment plan?"-N. y. Tribune.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

According to theosophy Julia, we ara
now the opposite of what we were in
former eXistences."
My, auntie-whata beauty you must
have been. Detroit Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
A Place for Everything.

A man l know keeps photographs OF
His girls in handsome frames.
Upon his hearthstone, for he says
1t is the place for flames.
Town Topics.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

Are you going to make garden this
spring, Plankwalks?"
"lsuppose so; the neighbor's chickens
seem to be getting my ground ready"
Detroit Free Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22
A Lucky Chan,

Give me one kiss, a wee wee one,
Said l to my pretty cousin;
Said she: This stand is all wholesale;
You can't have one-now don't turn pale:
You'll have to take Dozen"
Harlem Life.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1897-04-22

Mrs. Newed-Was l nervous, dear,
during the ceremony?
Miss Spitegirl-Well, trifle at first,
darling, but not after William had said
yes.-N. Y. Truth.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
WV. DIMOND,S

Spring exhibitions of art are
held the world over-why not
silver, glassware or crockeryf
The advantage in most presents
is in the fact that they answer
for any season in the year. A
Christmas present of cut glass
would do as well for a birthday
in July. Our goods are season.
able.
Dorhinger's cut glass, the best
in the world, because the cut
tings are perfect and the designs
unique. Best for the purchaser
because the price is low. Best
for the home because it is use
full and decorative.
Our silverware is the same
sort you buy of exclusive dealers
in silverware. The weight is
the same, the designs are the
most modern and elegant, and
the price is the same as you pay
to the dealer in San Francisco.
Ours is made by the Whiting
Manufacturing Company, and
has no superior. The prices in
clude everything to be found in
a silversmith's.
In crockery this is the help
fullest Of stores. Make the most
of it. Its every day selling is a
series of agreeable surprises to
China lovers. Genuine French
China, Royal Worcester, Crown
Derby and Coalport go to you
for what they are worth-noth-
ing better for wedding presents.
Our stock of lamps is the
largest and the assortment the
best in Honolulu-some for oil
and others for electricity.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
Barnum's Bargain.

"P, T. Baruum once said he was
willing to make an agreement with
the Aldermen OF New York that if
they would give him the money ex.
pended there for intoxicating liquor
he would pay the pauper tax, give
every family barrel of flour, a
library of one hundred volumes, a
suit OF broadcloth or a silk dress to
every man, woman, boy and girl.
He would pay $l,0O0000 for the
privilege, and then clear $S,000,000
by the transaction But then, you
know, Barnum never interviewed
Jim Dodd at the Pantheon in re-.
gard to Enterprise Beer, or perhaps
he might have made a bargain on a
couple of millions.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
Items of Interest.

To steady a billiard cue a Phila-
delphian has designed rest consist
ing Of thumb and forefnger rings,
fastened together and having a slot
projecting upward with small
roller in it on which the cue rests.
"No, Mrs, Blimber, woman is
not fit to marry unless she knows
how to cook"
"Then man isn't fit to marry
unless he knows how to saw wood"
what makes you say that women
have more sense than menu"
well, you haven't seen any women
riding around town in wheelbarrows
since the election, have youS"-Chi-
cage Record.
Miss Belle-Mary, remember, |
am at homo to none but We're Brown
kins this afternoon, Mary (hslf an
hour later)-I've told four gentle
men callers that you were at home
to none except We're Brownkins, miss,
and they all went away very angry,
Miss.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The road gang have at last started
in 10 improve King Street from Lii
liha to the 0idge. From the road
to the Railroad depot to across the
bridge. The travellers by the tram
cars must transfer aud walk. I'm
less the road is well lighted up at
night accidents may happen as he
passage ways for traffic are very
narrow. All are willing to suffer a
few days inconvenience il the Gov
ernment will only make this import
ant road as good as Beretania or
King Street towards Waikiki.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
j. T. Waterhouse.

Remnants accumulate in every
dry goods store and the larger
the establishment the greater
the number of remnants. Such
parcels sell at half their value,
and less. We begin stock taking
on Monday and rather than in
clude short lengths in our stock
we have started a remnant
counter,
Goods that have sold for 25
cents yard go to you now at 10
cents, the pieces ranging from
four to ten yards. The assort-
ment is large and the quality of
the goods varies with the price.
Every remnant is a genuine
bargain.
The Australia brought us an
assortment Of the prettiest shirt
waists ever seen in Honolulu.
The collars and cuffs, as well as
the material from which they
are made are the latest style.
Shirt waists are the most be-
coming articles in a ladies cos
tune and our prices for these
goods is exceedingly low.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
MS@>>~>r,~Q~.
LEWIS & co

Lemarchand's homeless sar-
dimes go well at lunch-we've
had such a continuous run on
them that we have been forced
to duplicate our last large order.
Our present stock may not last
until the next arrives.
The whole world boasts of the
jams, preserves and pickles put
up by Crosse & Blackwell and
j. Il. Morton. Our stock con-
tains everything put up by these
well-known firms. The last lot
arrived by the Routenbeck and
are absolutely fresh.
We have goods from the
French factories that commend
themselves. Lemarchand's high
grade mackerel in oil is one of
them. These are timed in the
same manner as his famous sar-
dimes and are a rare delicacy.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The main excuse for the existence
OF newspapers is that they benefit
the world by fearlessly exposing sin
aud crime. Only a venal journal
will go behind truth and the general
interest OF the community. The
CALLED jade will vince, undoubtedly,
but all the sayings of John Wesley,
whoever he may be, will not succeed
in smotheriug stern truth or muzz.
ling our independent citizens even
If the Wesleyan remarks arc signed
St. Diego(nes).
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

A Colombo paper speaking very
highly of the beauty, accomplish.
ments, aptitude for domestic life and
deslrability Of the Cingalese girls
suggests cargo or two for the
United States as Ceylon has plenty
and to spare. There's another chance
for our Immigration Bureau to pro-
cue a thousand or so for Hawaii for
according to our census we are
awfully disproportionately woman
less here.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
ADJUSTMENTS.

The GoddNrd Lectures.-The second
Oh ohe Goddard lectures was given last
hight before an audience which was
thoroughly in accord with the lectur-
er ana listened to his splendid descrip-
''ons OF the art of brewing "Rainier"
oee,' lie remarked that only the best
" uopS ana malt were used thus in
surihg a healthful beverage. On tap
OF IN bottles at the Criterion saloon. \
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
LEWIS 81 CO.,
Fort Street GROCERS. Tel. 24O
SAYINGS BANK NOTICE.

Notice is hereby given to Deposit
ors in the Savings Department Of
Claus Spreckels n Co.'s Bank, that
on and after April |, 1897, all Inter-
est on their deposits will cease.
Savings Depositors may withdraw
their accounts without giving pre-
vious notice, or they may leave same
in our Bank on call.
CLAUS SPRECKELS a. co.
Honolulu, Feb. II, 1897
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The Advertiser must be very hard
up for political or other matter to
be compelled to republish the Sailor
Boy Senator's speech of 1894, espe-
cially in view of the fact that he
altered many of his opinions prior
to his re. election to the u. S. Senate.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
VESSELS IN PORT.
NAVAL.
U s S Alert, Hanford, Lahaina
MERCHANTMEN.

MERCHANTMEN.
tNot Including Coasters.)
Br blk Routenbeck, Rodgers, Liverpool
Br ship Samantha Grove, San Francisco
Schr Jessie Minor, Whitney, Eureka
Blk Ca lao, Roster, Newcastle
Am schr Aloha, Dabel, San Francisco
Am bk Andrew WEIGH Drew, San Fran
cisco
Am schr Fred e Sander, Carlson, Hoko-
date
Nor blk Fantasi, Anderson, Newcastle
Haw blk Resale, Nissen, Chemainus, b G.,
(In distress)
Jap s s Shinsiu Maru, Mishikama, Koba
Am ship II r Sutton, Carter, San Francisco
Am bktne Wilder, Mcneil, San Fran
cisco
Am blk Amy Turner, Warland, New York
Am ship Benz + Packard, Dickinson,
Kobe, Japan
Am ship w H Babcock, Graham, San
Francisco
Am brig VIM q Irwin, Williams, San
Francisco
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The Board Of Health should meet
this afternoon, but OF course they
have nothing to attend to from their
standpoint, however much the citi-
zens aud taxpayers may differ from
them.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
Where They Are Handy.

81 hate to have man around who
tries to do what he cannot"
"Ob, they are pretty nice some
times"
SID like to know when?"
SIN a poker e."-Mew York
Journal
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

la reference to social remarks &C.
casionally used in this journal we
will say, "Honi soft qui NAL q penSe."
By the way Burnand used to pro-
nounce it, Honey, suet, meal and
pence"
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
The Record Breaker.

Though the trolley an the bike
Shows a heap O. skill,
Amt got nothin' yet tibet goes
Fast ez money will.
Washington Post.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

Mr.. Fred Whitney took the cap.
tain OF the Samantha and party Of
gentlemen over to Waimanalo plan
iation this morning on a pleasure
trip by the j. A, Cummins leaving
here at $3.50.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

Berger and his boys are booked to
give a moonlight concert at Makee
leland this evening. Among the
selections arc the Kane hameha and
Irwin Walt2es, and O'Grady's Irish
melodies.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The bark Highland Light from
Departure Bay with coal is coming
into port az we go to press.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

WV. Hall Of the American Board
will receive and forward don atoms
for the Indian Famine Relief Fund.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
TOPICS o. YBE DAY.

"Kupa Hawaii" why this prolong-
cd silence in behalf Of your friend
Meyer OF Molokai7
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

e. II. Adams returned by the
steamer Mount Lebanon from Port
land this morning.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The match game Of cricket be
tween the old boys and the new
boys is expected TO take place at the
Makiki grounds on Saturday next.
Wickets will be pitched at 2o'clack
sharp. Both teams will put a good
eleven in the field.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

Green Turtle Soup and Poultry
for dinner at Juan Camancho's to-
morrow with home made bread.
IL to
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

Mr.. Sam Allen OF tho firm Of Allen
u Robinson, lumber merchants Of
this city, hiss been 46 years in the
islands to-day. Mr.. Allen arrived
iu Honolulu on st. Patrick's day
in 1851.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

New Spring Goods, latest designs
in Organdies, French Muslins, Dimi.
ties, aud Lawns at N. S. Sachs
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

All hail to ST. Patrick and his
counttymen who still swear the
Green"
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
LOCAL AND GENERAL NEWS.

Wheeler 81 Wilson Sewing Ma.
chimes, L. b, Kerr, sole agent.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

e. r. Hendry was elected on Mon
day evening last secretary OF Har-
mony Lodge No. 3, OF l. O. O. r.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

Our shipping reporter will en-
deavor to keep THE INDEPENDENT
shipping list as correct and reliable
as possible.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

Many happy returns OF the day to
st, Patrick-may he never in his
sanity sphere meet snakes-and to
tho numerous people who to-day
celebrate their birthday. Let us
remember Kamehameha III. whose
day it is aud let us join in wishing
many happy returns OF the day to
Miss Maggie Walker, Miss Thelma
Parker, MIR. ia. Cummins, Mr.. John
d. Holt and the numerous others
who entered this world on the day
OF St. Patrick.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

The British Steamship Mount
Lebanon, Capt. Mclean, arrived in
port this morning, 109 days from
Portland. The steamer reports a
rough passage down. On her mani
fest for here are 277 tons of general
merchandise aud 527 bales of sugar
bags. The Lebanon Goals 60 tons
and will be despatched for Yoko-
hama tomorrow afternoon by her
agents t. III. Davies e. Co.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

All will remember that there are
many toasts to he drunk at the
Anchor Saloon on Wednesday
Among those wa recall TO memory
are st. Patrick, Kameh amelia Ill, j.
A. Cummius, John D. Holt, Corbett
and Fitzsimons Paddy Ryan NAV
possibly remember a few more.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
SKIPPING NEWS.
ARRIVALS.

WEDNESDAY, March H..
Brit steamer Mount Lebanon, Mclean,
Portland
Bark Highland Light, -,
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17

AT the meeting Of the Valley Ten
mis- Club, the initiation fec was rails
cd from $40 tn $40 George Water
house, Harry Mist and Dr.. Nichols
were elected delegates to the Ha-
waiian Tennis Association and Fred
Waterhouse, George Howard and
Harry Mist as committee on open
ing day April Bird.
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
DEPARTURES

DEPARTURES.
(Foreign)
Schr Robert Levers, Goodman, San Fran
cisco, March 10
Schr Transit, Jorgensen, San Francisco,
March 10
Bktne s N Castle, Hubbard San Francisco
March 16
The Independent. [volume] (Honolulu, H.I.) 1895-1905, 1897-03-17
VESSELS EXPECTED.
FOREIGN STEAMER MAILS.

From IAN Francisco For San Francisco
or Vancouver. or Vancouver.
1897, 1897.
Daily Kennebec journal., 1897-01-23
SAGE TAKES A HAND.
Completely Upsets Plans Of Syndicate Alter
the Pacific Railroads.

New York. Jan. 22.-The plan of the
syndicate of bankers recently formed
in New York City to purchase the gcv-
crnment interests in the Union Pacific.
met with unexpected opposition,
Thursday, from Russell Sage and the
Union and United States Trust Cos,
who declare themselves unalterably
opposed to any plan which contem-
plates the elimination of the govern
ment interest in the property. MIR.
Sage after a long conference at the
Mercantile Trust Co, said he con-
sidered the interest of the United
States government in the road a most
valuable asset and that the same
should be retained.
Mr.. Sage owns about 100000 worth
of Union Pacific securities. George
Gould represents some $S00,000 worth
and the two trust companies control
about 1000. 900. AS J. Pierpont Nor
gan is said to hold the same view as
Mr.. Sage and the trust companies, it
is believed that on account of their
opposition, the plans of the syndicate
will fail.
1t is said that there was a serious
disagreement between Mr.. Sage and
George Gould on this matter and the
latter sided with the syndicate. 1t is
also said that the views of Mir. Sage
and those of President Fitzgerald of
the Mercantile Trust Co. were SO diff
ferent on the subject that both men
separated in anger.
Mr.. Sage believes in letting Union
Pacific matters rest just where they
are until the Mckinley administration
is in office. and then he believes that
negotiations can be consummated that
will be satisfactory to all security
holders and give the government sat
isfactory security for the interest of
the latter in the property.