The San Francisco call., 1897-11-11
The New York Journals"
Appendix Badly Scared
Over a Little Water.
A Wild and Weird Yarn About
Quagmi1eS at the New
Postofice Site.
Eastern Capitalists Transformed Into
Ti!ibusters and treasure
Seekers.
"Water! Water! Water p'

W dtSI W dlSI w GleE
No, it wasn't ire. 1t was just one of
those peculiar mental perversions which
breed lakes. 1t rained the other day, and
a little OF the surface water drained into
the excavation of the new Poslotfice Site
! was neither as deep as a well nor as
wide as river, but it served.
The Monarch of the Fakers had its lynx
eyed oung men out after-not news, but
anything else they might pick up, and
one OF them saw the liquid.
"A-ha!' The exclamation of the an
cient warhorse who smeIled the battle
afar off was repeated; and, likewise,
"Ho-Ho!'
Here was the long-looked-for oppor-
tunity. Did not the United States Gov
ernmert refuse to be dictated to by the
Examiner? Did It not positively decline
TO enter into that alleged newspaper s
scheme to increase the value of its own
holdings by getting site wherein the
yellow journal had certain interests?
At last the time had come for r-r-re-
venge
True, it is too late to be revenged on the
nation, but are not the people the gov
eminent? Let the people suffer. At least
/ that portion OF the 1eople who are so
!
/ dished mp in place Of news.
! Then the edlCt went out from the inner
/ circles that the widest mental con tortion-
/ ist go Immediately forth and find things
! that are not and write about hem. And he
went forth and found water, which was
/ not there, and floating planks that did Lot
/ float, and quagmlres, and quicksands and
/ sinkhOles mat existed only IN the fertile
/ topaZ-hueG brain.
| Glorious was the result from a Mission
| street journal point OF view. The people
! were alarmed over the prospects OF the
/ whole building sinking out OF sight some
/ night.
/ The reporter followed his instructions
| well. So did the artist. Tne etory in de-
! tail was a gem. The narrowing part Gu
/ lars were ali there, both in the picture aud
I IN the print.
/ 1t had but one defect. 1t was not true.
There is no quagmire, no Quicksand, nc
( floating planks, no cessation of work, nc
/ sInkholes, no hurrying 70 build sewer to
/ carry oil the underground river. There
/ was nothing but malice and a little sur
/ face water from the rain upon which to
4 build suCh an elaborate fake.
/ The excavation Is one foot below the re-
/ quIred depth, and the ground is as firm
and solid as anywhere in the city. The Sc Wer
which is being built IS ;he necessary sani-
tary sewer, which IS placed il all build
IngS 10 carry OH water TO the main seWe rs
OF The city.
But this was not the only fake sprung
/ upon the unsuspecung public by the Mon
/ arch OF FakeEs. One a day is not suti-
Client.
An innocent body of Eastern capitalists
came to the city a few days ago and be-
gan preparing an expedition to the gold
/ fields OF Central America. They were not
ready to give publicity to their plans
and as the Examiner could not get the
fl cts there was no hesitancy in getting an
article. The very secrecy OF the gentle
men was sufficient incentive, and at once
| the harmless mining company was trans
| formed into treasure-seekers, tihhusters,
| kIondikers, or any other old thing that
savored OF mystery.
/ The schooner Vine was given one OF
! those long low. rakish characters, and it
micht be inferred from the Examiner ar
/ tlce that a black flag decorated with a
/ skull and cross5one3 Law hidden in the
! locker ready for flying at the mjzzenmast
| as soon the vessel passed cut through
| the Golden Gate.
| This IS the record of one day, and there
| Is danger OF another letter from Joaquin
! Miller.