Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1897-09-15
EASY FOR GIMME.
HOW SMART NEW YORK YOUNGSTER
GOT TIE JOB.

eant's Tinccrs Were Closely Examined.
But the Man of Affairs Was Outwitted.
\ prosperous man Of affairs who has
his Offices in down town skyscraping
structure entered the building the eth
er day with a disturbed lock On his
face. Although man with full conf
dence in himself and one whose judy
ment was considered second to No one
else's III the street, he was extremely
doubtful of the result Of the task before
him. He WAS Ill trouble because his
Office boy had left him and he was
fo-ccd to engage another. The boy who
had gone had been pretty good one as
boys go. He had bossed the boss and
run the Office fer about year and was
all right when he had his own way,
bat one unfortunate afternoon he~t told
the boss that he wanted to get off, as
his brother in-law had died and he de-
sired to go to the funeral.
Il want to 90 to the ball game my
self, said tie "old man," chucklmg,
as he recalled how many times that old
funeral excuse had been sprung Oh him
by Office boys, 80 guess, James, you
Will have to mind shop today"
James didn't appear at the Office next
! morning, bat an irate woman who said
she was his mother did, and she sound
ly berated the employer for his inhu-
maEity in keeping James away from his
brother in laws funeral
The boss tried TO explain matters by
saying that he thought James only
wanted an excuse to go to the ball game
and that he did not know there had
been Il death i'll the family, but it was
no good TIE whole family branded the
| old man as a brute OF the deepest dye,
and James did not return to his duties.
In consequence Of this the employer
| inserted an advertisement i'll one of the
newspapers for M office boy. and he had
| got down to the Office half an hour
earlier than usual to receive the appli-
cants for the place.
| There was Il long line Of them in the
! hallway in front OF his Office, and he
| heard much criticism, some favorable
| and some otherwise, On his general ap-
pearanco as he pushed his way through
the thrOng. He called the boys into lis
| Office one by one and subjected each of
| them to Il searching examination as to
his experience, fitness, etc. He invaria-
bly, finished up with the question, do
you smoke cigarettes" The boys as in
variably declared that they did not.
Never smoked one o. ther dope
sticks i'll me life" declared the first boy
called into the Office.
| Didn't, eh:" replied the "old man. -
LET me see Your fingers" The young
ster's fingers were stained q deep dirty
| yellCw color, and he was told he was
| not wanted.
Oats not cigalute stain, dat AIM, -
insisted the second hoy called into the
office. OATS pain5 off me fader'a
| house.
The excuse wouldn't work, however,
and he was ushered out, as were several
mere young aspiraEts for Office honoTs.
Finally bright eyed, >redheaded
| younsster entered The Office and answer
ed all the questions propounded to him
III satisfactory way.
Now, my boy" came the final test,
tell me truthfully, do you smoke Gig
| a1ettes:"
What's them? Those little paper CT
gars:" answered tie youth
Yes, exactly
Nope. Never drew one uf them in.
ter me lungs il me life, " continued the
boy.
LET ne see your hands,
The hey poiSed ont chubby fist a,
him. The man examined it critically,
! fail 70 RI o.a l,a eI,
dence of tobacco stain.
You're engaged" he finally said.
Bully fer you!" replied the youth.
80 long. I'll he ter work in de morn.
ing. He then went out, whistline
There's Only One Girl In the World
For NE, and joined his anxious Gem.
rades in the hallway.
"Iouse fellers can all 90 home" be
said.
What's yer given us? Did yer ge,
der Job?" piped half dozen voices.
Bet yer life," replied tire urchin.
There was loud murmur Of surprise
from the crowd, and finally one Ct the
youngsters exclaimed:
How'd yer do it, Chimmy? De ole
man said dat he didn't want no don,
stick smokers, an yer knows yer was et
wursest dope fiend III der push.
"Oh, yoUse feliers was so slow dat
yer make me tired, " replied Chimmit
in a disguised tone Of voice. Course
hit de dope sticks, but aye t'ink
wusn't cute 'nough ter keep it from d.
ole man.
"Guess yer had pull or yer couldn'
have fooled his Joblots," said one O
the youngsters.
Easiest ting in de world" answer
ed CHIMNEY. ''As seen as read his ad
vertisement in de poiper knew dat h,
wus ag'in dope sticks, so what does
do but soak me fingers in turpentine al
night. an in de morning dey wus a.
clean as newt born babes. New
York Tribune.