Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1897-03-11
TIE GREAT DIAMOND SWIEDLE
By ATHOL MAYHEM.
ffonrrlcht. lspa. br tho Anthor.l


stroom-CcrIlelius Vanderstruom, if you
please, diamond merchant. formerly Of
Port Elizabeth, Sonth Africa, and now
of Hatton Garden-in sharp staccato ex.
plos!ons Of broken English astonishment
as ho let his morning paper fall and
bounded out Of his chair like the excita.
BILE india rubber ball of humanity that
he was.
"Vell, nefcr vos seen anytinks like
it-neferr'
Like what, dear:" quericd his more
phlegmatic English better half Gs sho
set her cup down ard calmly began chip.
ping her second egg.
Like vat? Wy, like disl' Mr.. Van
derstroom stopped, picked up tho fallen
sheet, and in tho effort tilted all the su-
perllUous blood out of his body into his
0diposo head. Like dis, sleeps head.
dis-pahl can't call him anytinks
strong enough except in Dutch, "
The indignant little merchant hurried
to tho window, tho more reclusefully to
let off some appropriate adiectives oc.
curing to him in his native tongue.
There, there, Cornelius, said his
lady soothingly, don't upset Yourself
fer business. What have you lighted on
in the opaper-anything disqrietn2 from
the mines ut the Cape?"
Matilda Yane, replied the ruffled
husband as he resumed his seat at the
breakfast table, you English peoples
always vos Us cool rs dc Zuyder Zee.
But ven reads Of such tiefs, such r-r-
rascGls, such r.r.roppers, | runs right
out of mine head and gets excited. "
Cornelius, be calE--cour!ing apo.
plexy in that manner! Why, tho papers
are always full Of thieves and robbery"
"Dat'svot makes me so vild!" yelled
Cornelius in tones suggestive of u return
to his native oxpletives. "yere would
10 your tiefs and troopers if peoples vos
moro sharp? Listen-I read you dis. "
Mr., Vanderstroom gave his paper
sharp punch in the middle of one Of its
columns to straighten ii ont and tho
better TO bring his rolling, raising eyes
to bear upon the paragraph which had
so suddenly provoked his ire,
'Dcring Robbery at City Bank
Successful Theft of Over ell, ,000," he
read, aud then, in his best Bavarian
version Of her Britannia majesty's Eng
lish, he rendered to his wife full, true
aud particular account Of how a young
walk" clerk belonging to certain
city bank had been very neatly "lifted"
the day hefors Of that substantial sum.
The clerk, it appeared, in the course Of
his usual rounds, had entered q bank in
the neighhorhood of the Royal Ex-
change, and, proceeding TO tho counter
to present some checks and bills for COL
lection, had laid his satchel down in
front Of him, AS he placed it on the
counter be felt touch on his left shoul-
der, and, turning round, was asked by
man OF gentlemanly exterior standing
near whether ho would direct tho ques-
tioner to another bank close by. To give
tho stranger the required information
was but tho work of moment; but on
turning his head again to tho counter,
tho young clerk was horrited to find
that his satchel, containing Bank Of
England notes to the value of Gil, 500,
had vanished.
How lucky" exclaimed Mrs, Van.
dorstroom, that the satchel held no
gold! OF course the notes will be stop
ped, as tho numbers
Matilda Yane, " interpose1 the dia-
mond merchant severely, "you vos like
all do vomans-you ypmp TO gonglu.
sions, II Go notes vas come into an in
nocent holders hands, do Bank of Eng
land must pay,"
But, replied his wife, determined
to ho credited with at least ono item of
discovery, 'if the person who asked the
way of the clerk took tho satchel from
under tho young mans very nose,
why
"Dera you vos again, Yane-yump.
ing" shouted her peppery spouse. "Do
barty vat took dc satohel vos annoder
man on dc odder side. Dere vos, p'raps,
two, dree of dem-vat dey call put
up yob, Nit all dees bricks dey works
II like DO conjurers-it's do quickness
~ NO lSli QCCUANUs uG SNG.
"Oh, Cornelius-Corny, dear, let this
be warning to you to 10 careful! You.
know the thousands and thousands Of
pocnds Of diamonds you are constantly
walking about with up and down Hat.
ton Garden-looSe in your waistcoat
pockets, too, or only rolled up in little
tissue paper-and you such mitel
Mind they don't put up, as you call
it, something Of the sort for you.''
Mr., VanderStroom rose with offended
dignity, gulped down another yearning
to return to his native Dutch, walked
into the hall, tapped the barometer,
Jerked himself into remarkably tight
and appalhngly short covert coat, quite
oblivioUs Of the fact that in the strug.
gle between his redundant figure and
his restricted upper covering ho had con.
trived TO scrapa very fat pocketbook.
out Of tho breast pocket cf his frock
coat and drop it into the thicl, carpetiug
OF the passage. brushed his hat, placed
it with a defiant tap ON his head, and
then, With the hall door il his hand, he
drew himself mp to his full feet 8
boundary of impressiveEeSs as he said
to his wife, who had followed him.
Matilda Yane, if dey can come any
of dere schwiadling dricks over me, /
makes dem hreasant of all dey lays
dera fingers on, De qoickness of de hand
viii meter keep pace init de rapidity Of
dischild'seye, He -asn't built dat way"
And with these emphatic words, de.
Everea with a tap on the side of the
nose and sagacious wink of the eve,
MR. Cornelius yaaderstroom executed
aienifed waddle down the road in the
direction OF his train. while his wife,
turning round in the hall when her lord
and master was out of sight. discovered