Kansas City journal. [volume] (Kansas City, Mo.) 1897-1928, 1897-06-24
KANSAS TOPICS.

Headquarters Dept. of the Orient,
Conto River, Cuba, March 5.
Ny Dear Gleed:-This has been the great
est day since I struck Cuba, for L nave
Just received my first mail in nearly seven
long months-your letter of February ),
one from my mother, and Dale Plumb's
wedding cards. Lord. Lord, old man, I've
just been coltish all day! I hope now that
my mail will continue to come through
without delay. It has been fairly sickening
when I knew that letters were being writ
ten to me to know, or think, they were be-
ing gobbled by the Spanish.
There is not much to say about myself
| except tina the wheels in my head continue
to buzz in several directions, as they have
been doing for several years. L I'M IN SUI
perb health, fat and rugged. Washington
| at Valley Forge was In church social rega-
LA compared to the way this aggregation OF
Cuban patriots are logged out. 1 have
neither a shirt nor any manner of under
| garments-a state of affairs that jars on my
sense of the proprieties. Suppose 1 should
try to stop a Spanish shell and be thus
| rudely yanked up before the bar OF judg-
| ment and lave to spend an hour proving
that I was neither a Populist nor a Bowery
tough, but a high minded young Cuban pa
triot!
And then the matter Of "eats' is another
| painful subject. Whenever 1 get my mind
| onto some really ethereal subject l find 1t
wandering into the realms Of cherry pie.
The other day the commanding general in
vited me, in my capacity of chief of ar
| tillery, to a council of war, and while there,
surrounded by an aggregation of military
geniuses, 1 kept thinking of how l could
knock the spots off a Holland house dinner.
What in the devil is the matter with the
United States, anyway, that II does not
/ raaoupiza aY,r fpdanandnnpn9 The SnnnfEh
are shut up In their fortified towns, and
| never venture out except in strong force,
and then nave to fight every foot Of the
way. The government OF Spain is wiped
out except within the walls of the fortified
towns, and no pretense is made Of enforcing
it elsewhere. The Cuban civil government
is in full operation and exercises over nine
teen-twentieths Of the soil of Cuba all the
functions Of government. Cleveland, in his
ludicrous message, said that 1t was a gov
eminent on paper only. He also suggested
autonomy" Great God! but that makes
our blood boil! Is that for what these Gu
bans have turned the country into a
slaughter pen, burned their own homes and
| faced the Spaniards on 200 battlefields? Let
me tell you, L know these people awful
well, and know that they will not lay down
their arms until the hated red and yellow
flag has been driven from the island for
ever. Nothing is so hopeless as SPANS
| struggle to impose her unjust government
on these people. whom she has robbed and
plundered for generations. They will fight
her twenty years IL necessary.
We are camped on the Comic river, in
Eastern Cuba, with 1900 men, preparing to
attack the town Of Jignani. a days march
from here. The place is very strong and is
defended by twenty-five forts. The most
Of the work will fall on the artillery, Of
which 1 am in nina Rest assured 1
intend to give them some Of the Kansas
funny business that took Guimaro. If
the war is not over by May 1 shall ask
leave to come home for the summer, but
we all have strong hopes that the dons will
come to their senses before then and &C
cept the inevitable. And Oh, won't / be
glad to get back to Kansas and New York
and see dozens Of people?
Later, March 1--we had our fight-at-
tackled the Jignani forts on the 18th and
got licked. Oh. Lord, it was awful! My ar
| tillery battered four forts into a cooked hat.
It took 11 shells to bring one of them
down. Then ammunition ran short and Gen.
eral Garcia ordered an assault on the re-
manning forts. The Cubans went at it
handsomely, but were moved down and re-
| treated. 1 never want to see the like again.
During the bombardment an Ill hammered
Spanish shell exploded near me, and a frag-
ment knocked me down. 1 am going to
bring it home as a relic Of the war.
BE sure to write me again. You can't i'm
agine what a comfort it is to me to hear
from friends. Address "Comdte Frederick
Funston. care T. Estrada Palma, Sc New
street, New York city"
It does not appear to have occurred to
Ed Little that he has reversed the Pop
legislature in refusing to pay that Wash
ington clerk because he drank red liquor.
The legislature appropriated more than 800
to Bill Rogers.
Some young fellows are fortunate in so
many directions at once that II becomes
| distressing. Thornton Cooke. son Of the
H~erington banker. has just graduated from
Harvard with such a high grade that the
regents offered him an assistant professor
ship. At the same time his father offered
him the place of cashier in the Harrington
bank. The young man has started for a
| three months visit to Europe. where he
| will endeavor to determine which one of
the places to accept.
At a meeting of the free silver club in
Arkansas City the other day, says the
Traveller, the Doodle legislature was the
topic of discussion. AS a climax to his
speech, one of the orators from the Fourth
ward sent this bit of hyperbole sizzling
through the audience: THE muddy slough
of politics is the rock upon which our party
has split in twain and fell to pieces from
the pinnacle of imperishable fame. Let
US then gear up our loins so that we may
go forth with a clear head"
esa
T. c. Henry informs Topics HI he did
not say all of the bitter things about the
| United States government accredited to
him by a recent interviewer. AT o'clock
this afternoon" said Mr.. Henry, SCI am
going to take the Santa Fe train and start
for Mexico. I am not leaving this coun-
try because I believe the government will
fall or because in a general way It does
not treat its people fairly. I am going be-
cause the country represents to me the
cemetery of all my hopes and 1 want to get
as far away as possible from the smell of
the sepulcher. Understand. I am not play
ing the baby. I played and lost. Anybody
else would have lost just as I did If he
had tried to develop the irrigation re-
sources of Colorado. 1 have in my valise
a plug hat and a full dress suit that cost
me Sl25. When 1 cross the Mexican line
1 am going to don this suit and arrive at
my destination with all the outward ap-
pearances of a plutocrat. I am going TO
belong to the Mexican aristocracy. 1 shall
NAV for high stakes and I expect to win.
1 cannot tell you just 1 shall engage
in. for I have several projects in view, but
II is certain to be something in connection
with the land resources of the country.
when YOU come to see me you may rest
assured that you will not find me sitting
on the shady side of a ''dobe' wall rolling
cigarettes n listlessly batting flies. ]
-,,- IA On tha shade side of the wall but