Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-07-01
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Aou are ueSullleu 10 marry riches"
the seereSs said, but" But what y"
Death will claim you two years be-
fore the event."-Town Topics.
Shockitt-Does learning the bicycle
require any particular application? :?
Sprockitt-No; none in particular. Ar
MICA IS about as good as anything
Puck
Willie-I told her my love was so
great that my brain was on fire.
Charlie-What did she say to that? :?
Willie-Told me | had better blow it
out.-Yale Record.
a prlm(eve)al joke: Eva-Did YOU
eat that apple, Adam? Adam-Fm sor-
ry to say that did. Eve-And | was
going to make Il pie with it, Adam
Then I'm glad ate it.
MISS Thirtysmith (severely)-A man
should never call ON girl after drink
ing. Jack Swift (cheerfully)-Thats a
TACT. Many a man has become engaged
IN just that way-Puck.
Freshly Professor, is it ever possi.
bic to take the greater from the less :?
Pfof. Potterby--There Is a pretty close
approach to it when the conceit is taken
out OF Observation-Disclosures Jour-
nal.
She-l have been shut up in boarding
school SO long that | feel very awk-
ward and timid in company. | do not
know what to do with my hands. He
I'll hold them for you.-Boston Tray
eler
Fuddy-So Widow Gray was at the
social last evening. 1t beats all. What
Is she after-a husband? Duddy-On
the contrary, think she is after a man
who is not husband.-Boston Trans
cript.
He-lf you couldn't be yourself. who
would you rather be? She-The man
who marks down goods in the dry goods
store. What lovely life he must lead
always having first choice!- Cleveland
Leader.
Quericus-"How did he come to win
that girl, who was always so indifferen,
to him? Cynicus-He told her he had
Joined bachelors club, and that made
her determined to have him.-New
York Journal
I'm going to be n cortortionist when
l grow up" said little Johnny, proud.
iy; I'm i'm training now, so | want YOU
to tell me what Is the best thing for mo
to eat Green apples, my boy."
chuckled the old man.-Demorest's
Magazine.
The Parson-Your neighbor looks
like very persistent man. He doesn't
look as If he would give up anything.
The Deacon-Well, I've been passin'
the plate for hard on ten years. and [
never see him give up anything yet
Ionkers Statesman.
This new SOAP" said the barber
lis very nice. 1t is made largely of
cream, with just dash of alcohol in
it, We'll, remember I'm temper
ance man." retorted Dobbers. "and
don't put any more Of it in my mouth
than you can help."-Harlem Life.
We'll, you've been married for about
six months now, haven't you? Do you
think as much of your wife as ever?"
More than ever, my boy, more than
ever. She has not once suggested that
ii would be a good idea for her to carry
the pocketbook. .'-Cleveland Leader.
Il don't understand why you dislike
Herbert sO,' said Mabel to her father.
II don't think he has any ideas of
finance" 81 am sure you wrong him.
He is devoted to it. He stopped right
in the middle of his proposal to ask
how your business was getting along"
Washington Star
Dismal Davis-Say, boss, does yer be-
lieve in de sayin' dat money talks?
Uncle Reuben-Yes; what Of it? Dis
NAL Davis-Yer see, l gets so lonesome
walkin' around wild meself dat if yer
could give me dime fer company, it'd
make me feel better.-New York Tri-
bune.
Something whizzed by-a minglement
of steel spokes and red boomers
What is that there" asked Uncle
Hiram, withdrawing his gaze from the
high building TO look after the vision.
"That Is the new woman" answered
his nephew. THE new woman? Looks
like the old boy. indianapolis Jour-
nal.
81 do think dog has good deal Of
intelligence" said the man with the
spaniel, but l am not as bad as
Browne. He actually had the gall to
tell me that he was thinking of study
ing German so that he could talk to his
wife without the dog understanding