The star. (Reynoldsville, Pa.) 1892-1946, 1897-05-05
A MAN OF APPETITE.
AN AWFUL ORDEAL FOR A DYsPeP-
TIC LITTLE LAWYER.


marked the portly gentleman as he eau
tiously eyed the Welsh rabbit and sip
ped his musty ale.
"Why, don't these suit you?" asked
the man who had never Travelled.
"Oh, yes, fine, hut was just think
ing of little incident that occurred
there"
"A story, is it? Well, let's have it. "
ITS not much of story. but l will
tell il the best | can You see, the place
! spoke Of was kept by man named
Beirmistcr and was not only famous
for its Welsh rabbits, but for its oysters
and hard crabs as well. Delicious they
were too.
There was a dyspeptic little lawyer
around town, sharp and shrcwd, but Il
martyr to the stomach. He used to go
around with the boys until some one
would suggest going over to Beirmister's
and getting some crabs and beer; then
you could count the lawyer out. The
boys would Try TO persuade him by
telling him how delightful were the
crabs, how succulcnt the oysters, hut
the lawyer would flee from them i'll ter
ror at the thought.
"&huut o'clock one fine afternoon
in the early spring friend and myself
were joulncying toward Boirmister's
when we net the dyspcptic lawyer As
usual, he stopped Us for n little chat
and we walked down the street together.
In few moments we were in front Of
Boirnister's, and my friend taking "a
different tack, persuaded the little law
yer to enter with us on the plea that
we would find no one in at this time of
day and that we were only going to eat
few oysters
"Once inside, we found the place
crowded. The seats at the tables Were
all occupied, except ut one table, over
in far corner of the room, at which
there were three vacant chairs, the
fourth being occupied by fat German
brewer named Grump. We knew Grump,
and so went to this table. introduced
the lawyer-Blakely. believe his name
was-to the brewer and ordered beer
for the crowd. The lawyer protested, so
we left him out
"'Mr. Grump, I remarked, we are
about to have n few oysters. Won't you
join u.s.
"'Veli, you see, have alretty some
ting ordered.
"'Oh, that's all right, insisted. A
few oysters will give you an appetite.
"'Is dot 50? Yah, take me few
chust Won leetle dozen.
My friend had been engaged in an
earnest conversation with the lawyer
while / was talking TO the jolly old
German, and when the waiter came
with the beers he told him to bring
some crabs, 21s dozen oysters on the
shell and a glass OF hot water. He had
persuaded Blakely to try some oysters.
AT Beirmister's when an order was
given for crabs they invariably brought
a dozen, and you paid for as many as
you consumed out Of that number. The
waiter soon returned with oysters, crabs
and hot water. In the meantime Grump,
who was great tallier, had struck up
conversation with the lawyer, and they
were cracking jokes at great rate.
"Blakely's courage fell when the oys-
tiers were placed before him. He man
fully drank the hot water and COM
menced to initiate Grump's heroic style
Of eating oysters. He managed to down
two and then laid his fork gently by
his plate and fastened his eyes on
Grump With the aid of a few glassfuls
of beer the brewers oysters had van
ished, My friend had managed to get
away with two crabs and insisted that
Grump help him dispose of the re-
muinder. l was still busy with my
dozen oysters.
- Veil, l help you some, said Grump,
and picking up knife he went at those
crabs like darky shucking oysters.
The dyspeptic watched him as if fasci-
mated and remarked in a sneering tone
that came straight from the stomach:
"'You have IA good appetite, Mr..
Grump.
Yah, t'ink pretty goot, and he
actively went for another crab. The
dish was cleared in few moments, and
! made mental note that Grump had
eaten nine crabs, dozen large oysters,
and drank ten glasses of beer. When the
crabs We're no more, Grump called to n
waiter:
/" Here, Franz, l am waiting.
Franz disappeared, and in few
moments brought in large Welsh rab-
bit and deposited it before Grump. /
could see the little lawyer shrink from
the odor waited across the table, but he
was game and would have staid at that
table until he died. Grump insisted that
we share the dish with him, but all
hands refused.
with apparent relish and fresh
glass of beer he attacked the rabbit,
and in an incredibly short time the dish
was clear of the least particle. Grump
wiped his mouth, folded his napkin,
and called for another round of beers.
If had not had reputation to sustain,
would have refused, but as it was we
drained the glasses.
Now. must home be going, re-
marked Grump, rising.
What's your hurry?' asked the dys-
peptic lawyer in his most sarcastic tones.
DO stay and have something else.
UsNeiu 7 must IN mpin simmer 90