The Opelousas courier., 1897-06-12

ill., lICI ltGC ID uCl oIS
.-"Ihen she is a self made woman
Yale Record.
Edith-'Did he whisper sweet moth.
ings when he proposed?" Ethel-"Oh,
yes!-swore he'd be ever true, and all
that. "-Puck.
Young solicitor-'iIake yourself
easy, my dear sir; the successful man
agement of your case shall be the task
OF my life. "-Tit-Bits.
"What is pronunciation, Uncle
Jim?" SIT is something you hunt up
in a dictionary one day aud forget the
next."-Chicago Record.
Ada-"Which was the most serious
engagement Captain Slasher Was ever
in?" Jack-s'The oae that led to his
marriage, I presume "-Larks.
"Now, they speak of her as an up
to.date girl. What do you understand
by that?" "My boy, a girl that is up
to-date is up to anything."-Puck.
Mrs. Gray-"Do you like steam
heat?" Mrs. Brown-"Reaily, I don't
know. You see, we only have steam
cold in our tat."-Boston Transcript.
sspring is here" the poet said,
Ana as the storm door hitched Its belt,
An i slammed him down ten flights of stairs,
The force Of his remark he felt!
Cincinnati Tribune.
A sportive youth will feel compli-
mented if you call HIM ga gay young
dog" but not if you refer to him as
"afresh young purpy.'-Phiiadelphia
Record.
Dorathea-"There goes Jack with
, nis wea;5hy bride, girls" Theodosia
Eyes; aren't men tickle? To think
that only last summer he was engaged
to us!"-Truth.
First Artist ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Dixie is a good fellow, but he lever
will be a finished painter" Second
Artist -'No; ell of his figures are en-
tirely too l1fe-like, Judge.
There are over sixty millions of peo-.
pie in this country, and at least fifty
millions of them have been cured of
something at one time or another
West Union Gova) Gazette.
Cumso-"Why don't Mr.. Gilgal and
Miss Perkasie get married?" Cawker
-"Shyness on both Sides" SLOW do
you make that out?" "She is a shy
little thing by nature and he is shy Of
cash."
"Do you see anything coming u
way ?" asked the morning star Of a
companion. "Not yet," was the re.
ply; "but / see a servant below there
who is about to light her kitchen fire
with kerosene"
"That Willie Feathers is the most
impudent man I ever met" "Really?"
Gle is. I told him 1 had never been
kissed by q man in all my life, and he
said 4 can we'll believe you.'"-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
Tommy-"Paw, what is adding in
suit to injury?" Mr.. Figg-"Well, l
once mad a dentist at work on my teeth
for half q day, and when he got
through he said he hoped l had a
pleasant me."-Indianapolis Jour-
nal.
She-''You are always talking about
the fashions. Now, honestly, do you
think you would know the latest fash.
ion in hats if you were to enter a mill
liner's?" He-"Certainly." She
"How?" He (ruefully)-''By looking
at the prices."-Comic Cuts.
The theosophist gazed at the op.
posite wall with a far. away smile. "We
become what we eat" she murmured.
"That is a great truth" "Great Je.
hosophat!" exclaimed a voice in the
corner "what kind of a menagerie do
I become when I eat hash?"-Wash-
ington Capital.
Chumpley--"That hypnotist is q,
fraud. He couldn't control my mipG
at all last night" Pokley-"O,r
course, he had some excuse" Chump.;
ley-"Yes, he said there was no ma.
terial to work on. You ought to have
heard the audience give him the
leugh."-Detroit Free Press.