Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-04-08

SO! why, ulun KNOW ne WIS ever
married. Post.
A girl with a new engagement ring
reminds you OF a man who always
keeps his overcoat unbuttoned when he
has on dress suit.--New York Press.
"What on earth induced you, John?
You gave that waiter So for a tip, and
he was the worst I ever" That's
just II, my dear. / wanted to enable
him to retire" bazaar.
Shelf you were to find that ! had
lost all my fortune-every penny OF IL
would you hesitate to carry out our
engagement? Hell would hesitate,at
nothing. -Indianapolis Journal I
'srhe Romans" said the teacher,
"were good at bridge building" II
should say they were," murmured the
bad boy on the back seat. 'L0qk ut
her osev'-Washington Times. ~ 80 \
Mrs. Cohn-Ikey, who is dat IN de
frond room NIT papa? Ikeyz-A divin-
ity student vas looking for furnished
room. Mrs. Cohn-Ikey, go oud py der
hall undt vissle a hymn.-Judge,
''See here, young man." said the stsrh
father, ''if you don't come home earlier
after this, I'll know the reason why"
"Glad to hear it, Governor; that will
save all explanations on my DE
troit Free Press.
do you pray for your dear teacher
often, Tommy asked the visitor to
the school, "Yes, thir," replied Tommy
the Truthful, whenever thee whipth
me pray for the devil to git her,
Cincinnati Tribune.
Little Boreham relating his Alpine
adventures)-There stood, the terri
BILE abyss yawning at my feet That
brute Brown-Was 1t yawning when
you got there, or did it start after you
arrived ?-London Punch.
Ikey-vot's der shtrangest ting dot
effer happenet to you, fadder? Mr..
Isaacs-A fire dot ! hat lasd year in
Delaney Shtreet. Ikey-Vot vas dere
| shtrange apoud dot? Mr.. Isaacs-I
wasn't expegding it.-Puck.
Il wonder" said the young man,
whether there Is much money to be
made by writing novels" "Some, per-
haps," replied the professional aman-
uensls, "but not as much as by type
writing Observation-Disclosures Star.
Drusilla-I did not see you at the
vanblunt reception last night, dear.
Dorothy-No; but hoped to be able to
go, up to the last moment, but was
prevented. Drusilla (sweetly)-Yes;
know the invitations were limited
| Puck.
First Artist-Did you paint Stamp.
the tragedian, in that tragic role yet?
| Second Artist-No; that's off. First
Artist-What's the trouble? Second
Artist-Well, he'd assume the pose all
right, but couldn't keep it-there wasn't
any applause.-Puck.
| "Count, shall want little luncheon
after the theater." Yes, mon angel
Eet is quite propaire. But may l ask
one small questione?" Certainly.
| What is it,? eat wheech restaurang
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grymes-The bride was quite popu-
lar girl, wasn't she? Gobang-Yes, in
deed. The Daily Whoop sent their
| sporting editor to report II. He printed
a list Of rejected lovers half column
long under the heading, among Those
Who Also Ran."-Truth.
"Who is that neutrality-suspicious.
| gentleman standing by the theater?"
asked the guest. ''Col. Gore from Ken
| lucky" the clerk answered.; "but you
shouldn't judge man by his looks. 1t
is not blood the Colonel has thirst for.
Oh, no."-Indianapolis journal.
A woman was arrested in Brooklyn
the other day for wearing out a bed
Stat on her Oldest son. She was very
much surprised, and told the magis.
trate that she had no idea that It was
a violation Of the law for woman to
bang her heir."-Tammany Times.
"Our new neighbors are very polite, .
said Mrs. Perkasie to her husband
when he came home at night. "Are
theyT Eyes; sent to borrow their
stepladder and they told me they
hadn't one, but IL I'd wait awhile they'd
send and buy one. "-Harper's Bazaar.
"Well, what's your kick now?" asked
the manager, as the soubrete entered
his Office. 'Six feet nine inches" she
replied promptly. Consider yourself
engaged for my summer extravagan-
"a" he returned quickly; that's two
inches better than last year."-Chicago
Evening Post.
Shell understand that Miss Krochet
played on the piano at the reception
last night. Did they appear to enjoy
her performance? He-Oh! immense
ly. 1t was the most enjoyable time of
the whole evening. Everybody was
talking away as IL they would split
their throats.-Boston Transcript.
Algernon (who has invited himself
down for a days shooting)-HulIo,
Tom. What are those tickets tied on
the dogs collars for? Keeper-Well,
sir, you see, the Squire remembers your
last days shootin, and thought you had
better know the value OF the dogs be-
forehand to save future unpleasant
ness.-Fun.
N