The new dominion. [volume] (Morgantown, W. Va.) 1876-1904, 1897-08-07
Salmagundi.


Jake Wharton now knows what
it is meant by getting it in the neck. !"
He learned by a practical physical
and painful experience. He was on
the oval at the University on his wheel
and was displaying his skill and agili-
ty in scorching around that fayorite
resort of cyclers when he came to grief.
The trouble began when rounding the
sharp curve near the entrance to the
grounds. The wheel got out of his
control and started to jump through
the thickly set posts which bar the
entrance. Jake did not relish the
prospect and succeeded in getting the
wheel to change its mind slightly.
1t then tried to climb a tree. Jake
during the next few minutes ran his
neck against the tree with great force
skinning large chunks of bark from
each the tree and his neck. The jolt
received made him see stars and came
near unjointing his neck but he has
now fully recovered from the effects.
Meanwhile the tree waits for another
victim.
A great many of the young men
and boys about town seem to take
delight in being as tough as possible.
The drink like fish, smoke like house
fire, gamble like steamboat rousta-
bouts, lie like Tom Pepper and
these swear like a trooper. They
don't do things because there is
any necessity nor because they
enjoy doing them per Sc but simply
and solely because it is tough and
to be tough is the height of their
ambition. To be arrested is the SUI
preme height of their desire and to be
talked about as "onery" is sure pass
port to undying glory. Why this is
true is strange thing and it is made
still more strange by being true in
such community as ours, which Is
filed with such an atmosphere of
culture and refinement. Can any one
explain it?
In the springtime the young mans
thoughts idly turn to thoughts of
love. 1t has been so since the begin
ming and probably will continue SO
until the end OF time. There is a
certain young fellow in town who has
recently had touch of the divine af-
fatus. He may have been trife late
in gathering it in but its ardor made
up for any possible drawback from
any other scorce. He became violent
ly enarmored Of a young fairy about
the same age as himself. Probably
she was a trife younger, as she has
not yet discarded short skirts. He
knew her not. An insurmountable
obstacle seemed to present itself to
prevent his unfolding his tale, ever
new yet old. But happy inspira-
ton seized him. He would send her
his photograph and let it work its
sent it. The counterfeit presentment
was about as rank specimen Of the
art(?) as has been seen for many a
day. The hero wore tight fitting
cadet blouse. This, of course, accen-
tuated his long swan-like neck. His
hair was cropped short land his gener
Gus ears stuck out like sore toe on
either side. A self-satisfled smile
and few freckles completed the ex-
hibit. But alas for his hopes. The
fair one proved obdurate and the
photo was returned. One reason
probably for its rejection was that it
was the work of an amateur with all
that that implies. The wooer has
subsidized for time at least and "all
is quiet along the Potomac"
A tourist who is engaged in intro
ducing very valuable fake to the
suckers of the community has been
in town several days. He became
indignant over the wholesome advice
offered him by boy at one of the
places which he called and treated
persons within earshot to some choice
Billingsgate. The boy refused to
trouble his mother with the fellow
and on receiving some back talk told
the swindler that he ought to be at
work. This thoroughly enraged the
travelling merchant and he opened
the flood gates of dcnunciation.
Such thing as going to work aroused |
his righteous ire and he delivered a |
very passionate Grafton on the SUBJ
ject We must confess that the sug-
gestion was in bad taste. 1t is a
shame that people have to work and !
the idea that the blue blooded hobo
should engage in manual labor Is one
fit to make the blood OF all honest
people boil with Indignation. The
town should employ guides to show
these tourists the easy marks when
they favor us with their presence and
should provide suitable accommodate
lions for their entertainment while
here. "A nice room with all modern |
Is crying necessity. It'll
can be fitted ut the triilng cost az q
lew hundred dollars and II should be-
lone at once.