Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-02-13
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Hes sure TO call him down.
New York journal.
Johns your wife clever? Jack
Clever enough to make me think that
she knows less than know.-Judge.
Every woman regards the confession
Of young man that he Is striving to
I've better man as equivalent to PRO-
poeal --Atchison Globe.
Maud-What makes you think Maj.
Dulwit is In the signal service? May
Because whenever he appears the con.
versation fags.-Judge.
rawber-"why do you think you
will have any trouble In keeping the
engagement sccret!" Singerly--"l had
TO tell the girl. didn't 1y'--Puck.
She-Every time one Of us girls gets
married. father plants a tree on his
estate. He-A much better plan would
be for him to plant a house there
Life.
The Doctor-You'll he all right soon.
The Nictim-Glad to hear 1t. Doctor.
I'D hate to die just now. when I've only
had the wheel three weeks.-New York
World.
Rural Raggs-l've been readiu'. Tatts,
about that South Sea Bubble. an what
terrible thing 1t was. Tramping Tat.
tcrs-what was It. Roory---a soap hub.
Ole?-ruck.
Mr.. Coldwater-A man could not Of.
fer me a greater insult than to ask me
to take glass OF beer. Colonel Bour.
bon-Nor me. neithah. sah.--lndianapo-
lis Journal.
Judge--l think I have seen you be-
fore. Prisoner-l have had that honor.
your honor: I shaved your honor last
week. Judge-Twenty years.-Hart.
ford Times.
so you feel you cannot marry hlm?"
"fes. am fully decided" "why. don't
you like him. "Oh. I like him well
enough. but can't get him to propose"
Harlem Life.
Paterfamilias walking the floor with
son and heir)-Babics. they say. are
such helpless things! Hut what do they
think Of me? Talk abou, helplessness!
Boston Transcript.
'Thcre Is poetry in everything"
unused the editor. "Now. there Is yon.
der waste-basket." And he laughed, -
he sometimes did when he was oil
alone.-Detroit Tribune.
After the ball: She-Did you notice
dot Mrs. Lcviski. der wife Of der bawn.
broker? She vOs cofered NIT tiamonts!
He-Yes: I'm efcry Won Of dem vos
DRAWN intcresd!-Puck.
He (angrily)-was there any fool
sweet on you before ! married your
She-Yes: one. I'm sorry you reject.
ed him. But I didn't reject him;
married him."-Dublln Freeman.
Nopursc-"l proposed to Miss Many.
millions Christmas eve" Gotbills--
shall I congratulate you?" Nopurse-
II don't know. She told me she WASN'T
Santa Claus; and that's all she said."-
Puck.
Tellcr-"Confound that fellow Cheek.
ley! hate to do him a favor" Askins
why soI' Teller-"Because, when.
ever I do. instead Of approaching II. he
hatters himself that has worked me-
Puck.
"'rhe farmer needs something else
uuOre Iuuu SceuteSS tVutSs UtSVN
snooper. who had spent several weeks
In the country. "What does he mood p
asked Kilduff. "Crowless roosters."-
Vogue.
II hate to bother You. Pop: but. 70
ally, I'd like to know" "Well
what!" How 1t happens that baby
Dish don't get drowned before they've
learned to swimy'-Harper's Round
Table.
"What chumps these Old.time fellow
must have been. They used to write
and talk by the hour about the value o.
a collegiate education" "Well:" "An(
they never heard Of football.
land Plain Dealer.
.'WaddingtOn. notice you don't tall
much when you dine out" NE;
takes all the brains ! can muster Il
work things 10 l won't come out witt
m oyster fork for my after'dlnner COT
fee."-Chicago Record.
SundOwn-"Evcry since Old Soak Wis
tied Yellowstone Park, there's been
remarkable echo up there" Sunup-
what Is III" SundOwn-"If you shou
what will you haveY It will answs
whisky "-Chicago Tribune.
Bacon-'It's funny you don't ride?
Egbert--"rm waiting until they hav
bicycles built for two" Bacon-"Yo
can get tandems now" Egbert-''
know; l mean a bicycle built for NV
dollars."-YOnkers Statesman.
New Roomer (sarcastically)-"Is TIL
all the soap there Is In the room?
Landlady (decidedly)-"Yes. sir; all
will allow YOU" New ROomer-"Wel
IN take two more rooms. I've got I
wash my face In the morning."-Balt
more News.
80 you are going to marry your EN-
ployer's daughter ''Betcherllfe. Th
old man has worked me eight hours
day for the past ten years. and now III
going to work him twenty -four hours
day for the next twenty. years to sc
even."-Life.
Doctor after spraying the lady
throat)--"Madam, It's pleasure I
treat you; you've got such fine contrt
of your tongue" The Patients HUI
band-"Here. let's have your bill. II
evident that you don't know what 20
are talking about."-Cleveland Leader