Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1897-11-05
FLASHES OF run.

49,
Askins-What kind of an alarm clock
have your Hennypcck-My wife's ell
bow.-Puck.
"0ur landlady had to lower the din
ing tables three inches" ''why did she
do thatf" Nearly all the boarders are
scorchers. indianapolis Journal.
Gentle hint Danseuse-Baron, II
were to receive bracelet anonymous
ly tomorrow morning. should be- sure
that 1t came from you.-FlIegende
Biaetter.
The golfers scorn: First golfer-Did
you hear about Viewer? He's learning
to play lawn tennis. Second golfer-He
must be paying an election bet.-Brook-
Ign Life
Are you one Of the striking minersr'
asked the woman at the door. Yes.
mum. I'm what dey call a pioneer.
struck thirty years ago, and I've never
give in yet."-DetroIt Free Press.
A real surprise: Ethel-So he drop
ped right down on his knees and pro-
posedi Dear mel Did you say "This
is 80 suddenY Penelope-Oh, mol /.
was SO unexpected, you knowl-Puck.
Mrs. Peck-If l had my life 10 go
over again. wouldn't marry the best
man alive. Mr.. H. Peck (his chance at
lastJ--You bet you wouldn't. wouldn't
ask you to.--Philadelphia North Amer
lean.
The butler-Hand heyery night at
the hour CT midnight the ghost hap
pears and sroans and wrings its hands.
American tourist-Ahl Must have died
In the cucumber season.-C Cincinnati
Enquirer.
Old lady-Tbis mug; he ss.y
healthy place. Now. what may the
death rate be? Gravedigger-wonder
full steady. mum-wonderful steady.
Just one death to each person right
along.-Sketch.
Il must have been a fool when |
married." said little Tompkyns, glar-
ing tiercely at his wife Certainly, my
dear" said Mrs. Tompkyns sweetly;
at couldn't come on so badly all In two
years, could itT'-rit-Bits.
Poor Roblnsoni There goes his fun.
crel." What is Robinson deadT Il
imagine he is. Perhaps he is Just rid
inc around town IN maj henrse for mo
fun Of the thing bowever -f,ipc,n.
natl Commercial Tribune.
.,,,.. c..,,.. sa.,. =,
,,.,e.a 80 -. a.. ~. 80 - ~ 81.
10 that gentleman with a t,tle was a
case ~ love AZ nrs. sirst" .rb.,,s
varv tyue, ,ranl,ed Miss CAYENNE. ..she
COW h,n, srstsNvash,naton s,ar
-,.
oas s'o. ~ u...s"@s W. sou soiu
'ne .n'e 49, se.es -. s".u 80
..,-s.-s. crs.,slS- -. -.
~. daar ~ !, vos onita sot,s,.c+o-v.
80 haa nstt.- ,nonov q : Az, in an nv
no p,,o,,
Aoe.orh wv mug. AnoM' ni' ~,
your nusDanu VIZ ,iNe '"en'y ioua
nours longer. oouns siueious
elacuia.eu Tue ofoael,ne''lseu ou'
- - ,,ro.o,,,,,,5 ,,,.,d,oino onou,h
sons ~n 49, 80 ~. s,,,s
~ N'e u"''.
Fairly fresh; May trom the no'ei,.
So you're Staying al q FARMHOUSE
Everything iresn, ana an ,hat, l sup
poser Maude-oh' yes, inaeeo' why,
after he got through milking last nisht
tne FARMER son came Alvunu anu pto-
posed 10 me'-i'fooAisn LIS
Amateur theatrical heroine undis-
nantlyl--You say you don't think the
persons in the back OF the audience can
hear us speak our linesf professional
coacher-No; but don't let that worry
you. They can hear the prompter; so
they won't lose track OF the play
fuck-
Charitable old lady ito little Deggar
girl)-Theres some bread for you. II Is
day or two old, but you can tel your
mother to take three or four fresh eggs,
a quart of milk, cup OF sugar, some
good butter and hair a grated nutmeg
and she cnn make n Vory excellent DuQ-