The record-union., 1897-01-24
BESELENA'S PRATTLE.
Gossip About Charity at Home and
Abroad.
The New ninister Sets the Scribe to
Thinking About Things
Seriously.

Ine mouse, brought ABOUT Dy the new
minister. He is young, impassloned,
eloquent. The very first Sunday he
preached he startled the conservative,
Steady going congregation, by announc-
Ing that he wanted recruits to do mis-
sionary work, not for the savages OF
Cha, but for the saVages at
home. The staid old deacons and their
wives looked at him and then at each
other in CONSERVATION, but the younger
sisters looked at him approvingly. They
had been giving their worn out clothing
and their money to BorriboOla- Cha, I'M
Questioningly, they argued, so why
could they not do the same for the
heather within their gates? 1t promised
to be a new sensation this attending to
the wants of the poor who We're always
with them, so when the new minister paid
his first parochial calls the following
week, he found all the mammas of the
marriageable girls (the new minister,
by the way, is a bachelor) somewhat in
credulous, but nevertheless quite will
ing to help him in his undertaking. That
is the reason Of this sudden spasm OF in
dustry from the chambermaids upward
The new minister dropped in the other
DAY and surprised some half dozen
ladies busily engaged on miniature gar
ments of red flannel. The ladies looked
properly shocked at his sudden appear
ance and tried to hide their work, but
he appeared so unconcerned that they
speedily recovered from their embar-
rassment, and soon their tongues and
fingers were as busily engaged as ever
The new minister has been to Borrl-
boola-G Cha himself and knows where
of he speaks; he is also enthusiastic ana
was lust about to launch forth into
vivid description of the place and give
a comparison of the poor there and
here. when he was interrupted by
shrill little scream from Mrs. Has Been
There, who begged him to desist. 1t was
quite bad enough, she told him, to know
that such dreadful creatures were al
lowed to exist at ALL She had a vagus
sort of notion that they ought to be
exterrninated someway, but to be told
about them was quite more than she
could bear The minister, who has had
a wide range of experience in dealing
with all sorts and conditions of hu-
manity, looked at her compassionately
and changed the subject.
Mrs. Has Been There has a past which
she is apt to thrust forward whenever
she can get a listener. She has not al
ways been in as Strengthened clrcum-
stances as she is at present, she will tell
you, smoothing down her ample
skirts, and gazing upon her plump white
hands reninescently. No, there was
time when she could spend her hundreds
of dollars a month, a time when she had
her own maid and a footman. She is
very proud Of these facts. and If you Will
listen long enough she Will go into min
ute details as to the exact number or
filings the maid had in her teeth and
the precise shade of the foOtman's eyes,
for be it understood that Mrs. Has Been
There poses as very observing woman,
though there are some people who un-
hesitatingly say that she hasn't an
ounce of sense tucked away in her
Uranium and that her son has inherited
her brain. It is hard not to believe 1t
when one sees him, for If ever there was
q freak boy Ben Has Been There is the
one He is long as to legs and lank as
to body, while his head and body give
one the impression of being on bad terms
with one another and Of having had an
hasn't much to say but devotes his en-
tire time to the study Of chemistry and
making experiments with electricity. I
believe it a generally accepted fact that
the generality of geniuses~ have at one
time or another in the course of their
career been considered little short of
fools, that is why Ben's friends look
upon him with charitable eyes and con-
slider him a genius in embryo, Of whom
great things may be confidently looked
forward to in the near future.
There Is another eligible man lately
come upon the scene in the shape Of a
widower Of recent date. He has all
the requisites to make him an object
of interest in the eyese Of the fair sex,
and is one of the very few men whom
grief becomes. The eligible girls We're
not slow to grasp the fact that he is at
present in a tenderly receptive condi-
ton when small kindnesses shown will
be gratefully and substantially .rennem-
bered in the near future. Thus it came
about that when he returned to the
house wearing his sorrow becomingly,
there was wild and mighty scramble,
as meal time approached, to see at
which table he would sit Now there
are some women in the house who pride
themselves upon their exclusiveness.
Mrs. Has Been There is one of this
class vet she, like the rest of her sex,
hospitably invited the interesting wild
over to their table. True. Mrs. Has
Reen There hasn't a daughter to offer
for sale in the matrimonial market, but
she has a sublime belief in her powers
Of Fascination even TO this day, and is
about as sporty and frisSy as a good
,,atured elephant. There was much
s,ogner 10 the head wabter and much
rio4tiug and planning, yet in spite of all
1ba,r cor.triving Mrs De Trop managed
~ secure the prize. No one knew just
bovv she did IT, nor did she offer any
Other. exclamation than one triumphant
glance around at all the other disap-
1,oin4ed women. Mrs. De Trop IS what
tba MON call a fine, large woman with
five daughters Of uncertain age, all
elineine, r., the parent vine with beauti-
f,1 fIia1 devotion. No one can accuse
Mrs. De Trop of not doing her level best
TO seeura some other vine to which to
transfer her offsprings, but so far with
out success-not one Of the five is even
engaged She has taken to boarding
as a last resource. She will tell you
1t is so much cheaper than house-keep-
ing, so much less worry 10 one, out
there isn't a single man or woman IN
the house who doesn't see through her
small articles. However, while there
life there's hope" and no one can tell
what may happen when time has mel
lowed the widower's grief.
We have also with us the priestess or
q certain occult religion, or shall call