Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1897-11-03
at|nusiae Gatherings.
AZ It cost $3.50. 900, 900 every week

s6 Ali the nations are greatly in
creasing their navies.
r@ Old age is relentless tyrant; i
forbids the pleasure of youth on pail
of death.
r@ Wear an ill-fitting collar your
self, and then imagine how horses
must like it.
sas- Thirty years ago Chicago had I
population of only 23S,0O0. Now il
has 1,65O,OOO.
t@ If a man agrees with a woman
she thinks he is uninteresting; and i
he doesn't, she thinks he is ignorant.
r@ A medical missionary report
cases of Chinese women who have be
come blind through weeping.
s@ Fogg calls it bimetallism when
young lady with gold-flled teetl
speaks in silvery accents.
p8- "Weight for the wagon" obser
we'd the farmer, as he helped his 300
pound wife to a seat in the vehicle.
p@r "Is there any man in this towI
named Afternoon ?" inquired a Mis-
sissippi postmaster, as held up a lette
directed "P. NJ"
1~ Doing two things at a time il
not so difficult feat as is sometime
supposed. When people slip up, dom
they 60 down?
n6 An Irishman tells US of figh
in which there was only one who'll
nose left in the crowd, "and that be
longed to the teakettle."
s6- Where do you find the earlies
mention Of free admission to the thea
tre? When Joseph was let into th'
pit by his brethren for nothing.
s@- A Miss Gilmore was courted by
a man whose name was Haddock, wht
told her that he wanted only one gil
more to make him a perfect fish.
pg A girl ran away from home, ant
the father advertises her as "Jennie
aged 1S; dressed in brown straw
hat" What a fix she'll be in if tina
hat blows off!
p6 81 don't believe that women si
around and say mean things about ont
another's dresses as much as they uset
to-" "They don't. They ride arount
and abuse one another's wheels"
p~ "Why do you girls always kis
each other when you meet?" She
"Because We wish to do unto eacf
other as we would that others should
do unto u.s."
I6 The latest story from Klondik'
is that a man was caught out in
windstorm. The ground was dry ant
dusty. When the man got home, ht
coughed up $7S.15 in gold dust.
a6 There was a dispute about tb'
result of a horserace in Goshen, Ind.
and it was decided by kodak picture
which unerringly revealed the position
of the horses at the finish.
1~ There is a pleasure in contempla
ting good; there is a greater pleasure
in receiving good; but the creates
pleasure of all is in doing good, which
comprehends the rest.
S@ "My! but Sales & Specials d.
do big business" "Why shouldn'
they? Look at the inducements the.
offer; free novels to read while yo,
are waiting for your change"
p~ Did it ever occur to you to won
der how this world got on before th'
paper was published that always de
clares that everything that happen
was by its advice or upon its sugges
tion?
r9r There are no undertakers in ia
pan. When a peron dies, it is tn
custom for his nearest relatives to pu
him into a coffin and bury him, ant
the mourning does not begin until at
ter burial.
p@ The New York Herald has re
Gently tabulated the recorded lynch
ings in the United States. The wors
year was 1892, when there were 235
and the least culpable 1896, wheI
there were al.
D~ "Johnny," said the schoolboy'
mother, "do you like your arithme
tic?" "No'm. think the influence
of that book is unwholesome and de
pressing" "Why?" because it il
full of horrid examples"
I@ "Now," said the attorney for tn
defense, "here is a skull. Can yor
tell us to what species it belongs p
ats the skull of a lawyer" said th'
expert witness, "How can you tell p
"By the cheekbones."
p% A young and handsome man wa
once asked why he had married ricl
old woman. "My friend" he replied
"let me ask you what poor young man
in a hurry to get an enormous banl
note cashed, troubles himself to lool
at the date of it,"
D@ The word "altar" occurred il
the Scripture selection. "What is al
altar ?" said the teacher. "a place t.
burn insects" replied an honest boy
"Who were the foolish virgins p
brought the answer from little girl
"Them as didn't get married"
s6 He had taken his punishment
like little man, and for sometime af
terward had been buried in thought
Mamma" he said, finally. "Well
Willie ?" "Do you really spank m'
because you love me so much p
"That's the reason punish you, Will
lie? "And don't you love papa a
ALP"
s@ A boy who had served in gro
cery store for two weeks came home
highly elated the other night, and tole
his father he had been promoted
"How?'' asked the grati6ed parent