The Banner-Democrat. [volume] (Lake Providence, East Carroll Parish, La.) 1892-current, 1897-11-20
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noonlen "Indeed?" ooh, greatly.
She doesn't look bit like them.
troit Journal.
He-"My darling, / always feel IKE
taking off my shoes when enter your
sacred presence" She-"Well, would
rather you did it now that after we are
married."-Life.
"Our landlady likes to have theatre
cal people come to stay with us.
sWhy" "She says the rest OF US stare
at them so hard that we forget to cal"
Detroit Free Press.
Close Together-Nell-Do you think
there is anything between them! Belle
Il don't know. There wasn't when l
looked in at the parlor door last night.
-Somerville Journal.
Doesn't it make you sad when you
think of the poor?" ''Why, no, not
particularly. 1t makes me mad
though, when l think of the rich
indianapolis Journal.
as your flying machine a success"
"Unquestionably," replied the enthu-
aast. "Have you made n trip with
it:" mo. but I've sold several shares
of stock."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
81 heard you fought a duel with
Parker?D 81 did" weren't you
afraid to stand up before loaded PTS
tol?" Not with Parker holding II.
I'm insured in his company. it-Bits.
"Haye you any clew to the assail-
ant?" asked the court "Well," replied
sherlock Holmes, Il think he must
have been a Greek. AS l approached
he ran."-Philadelp North Ameri-
| can.
''NIartha, listen; there's new ma
chime invented that records the ac-
ton of the brain" well, you needn't
fool any money away on one; IL
wouldn't earn its salt. "-Detroit Free
Press.
81 wish you would make picture OF
the Sultan Of Turkey for to-morrows
paper." II am afraid have no photo
graph sir" "What of thatf You
know how to draw {. fez, don't your
Puck.
New Servant found this coin upon
your desk. sir. Mastcr-Pm glad you
are honest. 1 put 1t there purposely to
test your honesty. New Servant
Vhat's what 1 thought.-Flsegende
Batter.
| Freddy-Why do they call the end CT
college education commencement, pa
pa? Papa-Because, my son, that Is
the point at which young man COM
mences to learn.-New York CONNER
cial Advertiser.
She-It's too bad your wife has been
J sick so long. He-Yes; suppose that
the doctors bill amounts to three times
, as much now as the undertaken
!, charges would have amounted to-
Cleveland Leader.
.sThey always talk about the seven
: ages of man," said the Curious one
sWhy not the seven ages of woman!'
because, my boy" replied the know
ing One, zone is enough for them. -
Cincinnati Tribune.
"Yes," said the young wife, sadly, =
am satisfied that he doesn't love me
any more" isn't it strange to FIND
satisfaction in anything like that?:'
asked her dearest girl friend.-pitts
burg Chronicle-Telegraph.
n Iightloye-At last, dear Sophia, W.
Q are alone. and I can tell you that
d To- Sophia-Oh, please, no-Mr
e Lightlove. don't tell me here. Light
g love--Why not? There arc no witness
2 es Sophia-That's just it.--Chips.
0 Tourist Tin Jersey. apprehensively)-
Q How about the Jersey mosquitoes
Q Don't Won find them pretty vicious ere
t atures? Jersey Native dndifferently) y
s Not ut ALL Not at all! Why, they
9 eat right out of your hand!-Puck.
John, this is very bad report yo
hing me from school," John-I know
father; but you know you said II
brought home a first-class report 70
would give me SIS and wanted to saw
? YOU that expense.-Boston Traveller.
: 81" the witness testified, would nc
1,elievc him under oath. "Eh?' sal
> the Judge in surprise at hearing Lead
L inc citizen so flouted. "Oh, fur as tina
: GOES I wouldn't believe nobody. I al
an assessor. indianapolis Journal.
: lack. WyM-That young Simperl
: seems such fragile fellow shoul
!. hesitate to touch him, FOR fear he woul
:, break. Tom Fax (who has had exp
. rience)-He wouldn't hesitate abo'
n touching you. if he was broke.-Puc
d "Poor Mrs. Jaysmith!'' exclaime
e Mrs. Gargoyle. Her husband mu'
is treat her shamefully." What make
9 YOU say that?" asked Mrs. Grumme,
IN .She never complains" II know
l. That's what makes me suspicious"
'e Life.
ID The member of the firm pressed b
d hand to his heart. Il love you madly
vs. he exclaimed. II love hut you! ha'
" never loved before!' 9he typewrit
lie inclined her head. Very WELL" she +
Of piled. More than one copy. sir?'-D
troit Journal
tie Stranger (after an examination)
n Well. doctor, what do you think? Ha'
40 | the govt? Great Physician-HeI
h. Er-what is your income? Stranger
81 Twelve hundred n year. Great Phi
80 sician-No, you've got q sore foot.
:, New York Weekly.