The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1897-11-23
BILL ARP ON THE ROAD.

10 Hard, hard, indeed, is the conte
y for freedom and the struggle for libe
ty.' "There is no rest for the wicked
n This world is all a fleeting show an
k Jordan is q hard road to travel, | b,
d lieve There are other calculations
G might utter, for OF late there has bee
d trouble on the old mans mind. Yo
see, was invited over here to talk t
d these people in a humorous and philt
o sophie way and my wife said as tn
Q larder was getting low and the girl
y needed some more winter clothes, an
;. the tax man was bobbing around an
8 the grandchildren would 5e expecting
r something for Christmas, she though
4 had better go. So she packed m
q valise with my best clothes AMI forti
q fled mo with little drug store O
4 camphorated oil and flannel and live
, medicine and paregoric and cougl
} drops and quinine and headach,
} powders, and so forth and 80 on. w,
kissed goodby all round and departed
feeling like | was being driven off from
home by sad necessity. took the Sea
board Airline at Atlanta bound 70,
: Charlotte, via Monroe, but our engine
broke down about dark and this de
layed us three long, dreary hours, anG
when we reached Monroe it was wa,
after midnight and the Charlotte train
had gone. There we're three nice
ladies aboard and several gentlemen,
who were greatly disappointed, but
the conductor was kind and sympathe-
tic and said there was circus train
near by that was going to Charlotte
right away and If we didn't mind rid.
ing thirty miles in q cab, he would get
us the privilege. The ladies said yes,
and we did too, and climbed in. 1t
was as dark as Erebus. We felt our
way to find seats but there was nothing
but some long tool boxes whose lids
were hard and cold. There was no fire
and the wind blew through broken
glass on the back OF my head. The
ladies chatted away merrily, for they
were going home, but l wasn't and /
couldn't chat to save my life, for was
very tired and thought OF that good,
| soft bed at home. BY and by the con-
up our tickets and left us in the dark
again. About that time the animals
got restless and the lion gave an un-
earthly howl. You see this was a
menagerie train.
"The animals went in two by two,
The elephant and the kangaroo"
and every time the cars careened about
or swung round a curve we could hear
some devilish noise ahead of US. "Oh
mercy" said the youngest girl, sup
pose they break out " "They will eat
the sweetest and tenderes. first" said
|, 'lions always do" | pulled my
cloak up over the back OF mJ head and
ruminated. For two long hours we
logged along, for the train was running
slow to suit the wild beasts and we
were OF no conse quence. 1t was near
o'clock when we got to the suburbs OF
Charlotte and stopped. Nobody was
looking for us-nobOdy rushed forward
to meet us, no porter nor hackman-
no omnibus or street cars, not even q
wagon or an OK cart or darky. The
moon had hid herself to keep from see-
ing our misery, but we seized our grips
and wraps and satchels and made
march for the electric lights. My
companions soon separated from me
and 1 marched in single file with nv
big valise full Of clothes and The drug
store, and struggled for three quarters
OF mile up the long and hard side
walk. [ am not used to arc lights, and
the tiickering shadow of every tree
and telegraph pole looked like man
in ambush who was tixing to hold me
up. l had forgotten where the hotels
were, and uncOnsciously passed them,
for the doors were all shut, and there
was no sign. BY and by met police
man and he conducted me back to the
hotel and l was as thankful as | was
tired and humble. My pitiful tone OF
voice secured me kind attention and q
bed. When q man is far away from
homo, his wArmest welcome is an inn.
But did not rest we'll. A 10 o'clock
supper, on fried sausage and scrambled
eggs and stale oysters, disturbed my
corporosity and dreamed that tiger
got loose and came prowling and howl
ing around the car and somehow | got
a hatchet out OF the toolbox and lifted
the young lady through the port hole
upon the roof, and volunteered to de-
fend her with my life and my sacred
honor. The tiger made desper-
ate leaps to get up there, but every
time he got paw on the cave, cut IT
off and let him fall back again. don't
but think that other wild beasts got in
and eat them up. The men had all fled
prematurely, but l saved the pretty
girl, the sweetest and tenderest, before
l woke up. Who wouldn't, in dreem m?
| What curious things are dreams, any
how! The next trouble on the old
mans mind came over him at Sails
bury, where l was billed to lecture
that night. On my arrival l found
that august body the Presbyterian
synod In session. Preachers and elders
innumerable were scattered among the
good people all over town. They were
holding night sessions, and wouldn't
have adjourned for Mckinley or Grover
Cleveland or the yellow fever or fire.
But this was not all, the Episcopal
bishop was to lecture on the Holy
Land, where he had been recently, and
| knew that ] would fall between and
get smothered. Mr.. Marsh seemed to
feel very bad, and apologized by saying
that when he booked me he did not
know of these meetings. "Well," said
[ "the saints will all go to these meet
, ings, but you have sinners in this
town" He admitted that there were
some. And so l went ahead and
: lectured, and was surprised to see be-
| fore mo select and cultured audience
select, and | hope elect according tC
, Presby terian theology.
So all is we'll that ends well. The
} next evening found me at the nice lit
tie town of Marion, in western North
Carolina, away up In the land OF the sky
! They are good people there, | know
4. for they filled the courthouse that nigh
: and gave me an ovation. The oil
Z soldiers are thick In that region, ant
3 they came out to hear me, and some O
n us got together and talked of old Bo
Lee and Joe Johnston and General
n EARLY and Render and Whiting an