The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1897-05-15
&1lIzNg
His mood was very much the .,n,.

Watts-What was tho ,on
fight on record? Potts-voce, p''Ae-
ual?-lndianapols Journal.
"Madge is such a peculiar v,r,~
How SOP "She thinks she hasn., SUI
peculiarlties."-Chlcago Record '
scribblel Does your wife ,oroh =.
your jokes In the paper? Punster"yas
but only on payday.-CommercIal "a
vertiser. a' Au-
He was a reckless youth. How old
are you?' he asked boldly. "S,r" sha
said, Il am not old" New York pvsn'
ing Journal. -Vn-
Editor (to comic paragranhlst,-vo,,
Jokes lack originality. Comic nara.
graphist drritably)-So does your cr,ti-
cism.-Tid-Bits ''' s''''-
Does your wife call You as manr no,
names as she did when Won were erst
marriedF "Er-not as many pet ones"
indianapolis Journal.
Smith-Jones seems 70 have
thought for anything except his clothes
Brownies; he is perfectly wrannod
up in them.-Yale Record.
When a woman is on her wedding
trip she thinks her husband has onit
loving her as soon as he gets Interested
In bill OF fare.-New York Press
Were you at the play last nipht,y
Yes How was III" "Out of sight"
"Confound the women, why don't thew
stop wearing those high hatsY,-Cbi.
cago Times-Herald.
I'd rather be most any man
In history's class or fame's bright band,
Than Atlas, for he always had
A world of trouble on his hands.
Cincinnati Tribune.
Van Duder-I want to know soma
thing, Miss Amy. Amy-I have thought
for years, Mr.. Van Duder, that that
was just what you wanted.-Harlem
Life.
Mrs. Bigsby let's her husband prac-
tice on his cornet at home" whats
that for?" at gives her an excuse to
be away all the time Chicago Rec
ord.
rs he a scientific fighterY' "Sclen-
tific?" echoed the pugilist contemptu-
ously. why, he couldn't parse a single
sentence of his challenger Washing
ton Star.
Il know where you can get an eight
day clock for 20 cents" "An eight-day
clock? How's that?" "Oh, 1t lasts eight
days. Then you get a new one."-Har-
ward Lampoon.
Dorothy is much encouraged about
her literary ambitions" "Why? Has
she sold anything?" mo; but her hand
writing is getting worse and worse
Chicago Record.
Each day his roses as surprises
Come. If he knew, the stupid thing,
That in two months at present prices
He'd save enough to buy a ringl
Life
Contrlbutor-What a surly sort OF
chap that fellow who writes your jokes
Is. Editor (sadly)-Yes, he is; and from
what he sends me I'm afraid he's been
out of humor for a long while.-An-
swers.
Fuddy-There's tumble over oppo-
site. He prides himself upon the good
things he gets off In conversation. Dud-
dy-Should think he would; they occur
so seldom, you know.-Boston Tran
script.
Little Borcham (relating his Alpine
adventures)-There l stood, the terrible
abyss yawning at my feet. That Brute
Brown-Was it yawning when you got
there, or did it start after you arrived?
New York Evening Journal
Young wife-I always thought you
were the brayest man in the world
while we were counting. You wouldn't
go to Canada in case Of another war,
would you, dear? Not If the war was
with Canada. detroit Free Press.
Hattie-What's the matter with Gus
tavus? He never calls any more. Hor-
tense-Why, one night when he was at
the house called him 1.-THE light
Of my life" and papa came In and SAID
it was about time the light was put out
-Yonkers Statesman.
Humorist's Wife-You must not trou-
BILE your papa just now, dear; In MS
present mood he is not to be trined
with. Humorists Child-What Is he
doing. ma? Humorlst's Wife-He IS
writing things TO make people laugh
lid Bits.
Family Doctor-Well, let me congrat-
ulate YOU. Patient very excitedlyl-
Am l going to recover? Dcctor-NO'
not exactly, but-well, after long con-
sultation we find that your disease IS
entirely new. and If the autopsy should
prove the fact we have decided to name
it after you.-Tid Bits.
Dennis-Arrah, Pat, and so yez nave
come back to shtayl Why didn't ye1
lolke II out West in that place where
yez had such & good job? Pat-ocn'
it's no Mace fer Christian mon, Den
mis- There amt a llvin' soul about the
place that hasn't died wild the malay
rium.-Cleveland Leader.
Visitor (gruffiy)-Are you the eo''Vr
Editor without looking up from n''
work. am. Stranger more grufhyl-
Do you hold yourself responsible lOs
everything appearing In the paper
Editor rising to his six feet three lnen-
es)-I do. what's on your mindf Nls-