Evening journal., 1897-09-16
rrRRoRlzED BY a WOMAN.
A Big Man Made 60 sieep In the Chick
en- Coon.

n big Mnn NhA0t ~ crNcb ~ nv ~A-'NA~-
en- Coop.
A very tall and powerful man, wear
ing a brown suit and with face covered
with a fuzzy growth OF whiskers, made
n hasty appearance on Dogberry Row
the other afternoon in search of JUS
tice of the peace. As several of these
worthy dignitaries of the law were
about their offices. he was not long in
finding one. He shambled hastily into
Squire Nickerson's Office. where the
latter was sitting with his legs eocked
up on his desk sweltering in the heat.
Look here" he began, 81 want you
to come with me this yer minute. You
know me; I'm the man what bought
your place"
Certainly" said the squire in non
committal way, at the same time rub
bing his head as the idea struck him
that the man wanted TO get married
and desired him to tie the marital knot.
'I want you to help me git rid of
women. Use any process you've got TO
tear her away from me, but for Gods
sake, iedge, help me git rid of her"
The man was big and husky. but It
was plain that he was scared almost TO
death. The squire waited until he got
through shaking and then asked
''Is she your wife?"
''No, but would have married her in
a few weeks, but now I'm afeared TO.
The fact is. jedge, she's the all-fredest,
dangdest woman you ever saw. have
had her at my house doing housework
and / thought I'd marry her. but I'd
sooner risk my life with a Hottentot.
No. no, you don't ketch me marryin'
her. III see her where it's hotter first.
What / want of you, jedge, is to help
me git rid of her. Take her away from
my house; anything to get her away.
l ain't wuth much, and the Lord knows
1 don't owe her blasted cent, but I'll
give her $s5 If she'll go away and leave
me-"
IF you don't owe her anything why
do you want to pay her to leave your
house ?" asked the squire.
''Well, it's because-I wouldn't want
people to know tits because I'm
afeared of her" was the reply. "She lit
into me the other day, jedge, and licked
me black and blue. l can show you the
dangdest blue place you ever saw where
she belted me with her foot, jedge,
and he proceeded TO lay bare his
body. but was stayed by the arm of the
law. who said that II could all be taken
for granted. "More than that" he went
on, "she locked me out of my own house
the other night. and had to sleep all
night In the chicken house with the
chickens. while she was in the house
This was too much for the dignity OF
the court. The squire fairly roared with
laughter and nearly fell off his chair
He did not blame the man for not feel
ing especially tender toward his In
tended bride. ''But" he added. sober
ing up, 'I don't see how can help you
I can have her brought in here anC
fined for assault and battery, but shell
be right back after you when she get
out"
The man looked thoroughly down
cast. swell. If you don't help me som
Of the other fellers that okloepy you
position will" he said. as he broke ou
to hunt another squire. but he coul
nnd none who would serve writ. II
left Dogberry row looking the blues
Of any man alive. and il is probable tha
he gave the chickens a rest and slept II
the hog pen the next night. Squir
Nickerson says that he lives along Fal
creek. east of College avenue, but con
cerning the deep domestic mystery tn
squire knows nothing more than th
man himself excitedly revealed. n
man on earth was ever more terrorize
by a woman.-Indianapo Sentinel.