The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1897-04-29
Baking A REHEMOTH.


How JuGtice Badly SpIicer Made Every
body Happy but Poor Jen.
"Say, jedge, can a Teller git married on
tick here?" asked the young bark peeler
from Chipmunk Run as he entered the
courtroom of Badly Slicer, Esq, justice of
the peace, of Connubial Corners.
Nope; not unless he puts up his ticker
as security fer the tick, was the disheart-
ening reply. my jinin fees is 50, invari-
ably in advance
''Pshaw, jedgel That's hard luck, "
groaned the bark peeler Couldn't do it
fer dollar jest onct, could ye?''
mot if ye was the Turkey sultan an
was goin to gi me all yer trade"
THAT'S hard luck, - repeated the Wis
itor. ''Ye see, 50 is my hull pile an Jen
down in the wagon is dead sot on seein a
blood sweatin behemoth. She won't marry
me unless I spend dollar takin her to the
show, an 1 can't marry her if 1 do becuz
amt got no ticker to put up fer the jinin
ceremony afterward."
''Sorter between Silly an Spareribdiss,
hey?'' classioaDy observed the justice.
IAN don't dast tell her I'm so nigh
broke, becuz women nowadays seems
strictly out for the stuff. -
81 don't blame eIn-so'm IT, said JUS
tice Splicer. "Tell her that if she'll marry
ye now ven take her to the next circus"
Il did, jedge, but she gi'me the laff.
that blood sweatin behemoths WASH t com
in her way every day, not much"
'Huh!' muttered Justice Splicer. 1--WE
had a powerful lot Of experience with mat
rimonial obstacles, but this is the fust
time I've ever been up again blood sweat
in behemoth. She's promised to marry
ye, has she?'
Forty leven times, jedge."
''Stay yere, young Teller, an we'll see
what we kin do fer ye.
Justice Splicer whispered a few words to
Dave Dugan, the constable, and that
worthy hurried from the room. In few
moments he returned with Jen, who was
short and plump and in a futter of alarm.
Miss Jen, - Justice Splicer began SOL
EMMY, sit has come to the knowledge of
the court that after sakerdly promisin to
marry this young Teller forty -'leven times,
ye refuse to marry the said Teller unless he
trots out fer yer inspeckshun a blood
sweatin behemOth. Air ye guilty er not
guilty?"
II guess-guess I'm guilty, sir, - Jen
faltered.
Breach O. promise is a serious crime
a serious crime. Miss Jen.'
The girl looked solemn.
can the crime of duress, to wit, holdin
blood sweatin behemoth over the head of
the said young Teller, is even seriouser. -
The girl looked more solemn.
''He could make ye lot of trouble If he
wanted to. Ye wouldn't like to have him
get out a posse comitatus fer ye, would
yep
"N-n-n-o, sir"
"Ner a duces tecum, ner a rus in urbe2"
ooh, no!''
aye wouldn't like to have a constable
huntin ye with a nunc dittimus er a de
lunatico inquirendO, would yef'
"Oh, no, no, nOr'
''Then We better keep yer promise an
marry him right now, hadn't yep
''Y-y-yes, will sir, y whimpered Jen.
In five minutes the ceremony was per-
formed and as the door closed upon the
happy bark peeler and his bride, Justice
Splicer turned to the consta BILE.
''All's well as ends well, - he cried with
enthusiasm. Every body's happy. Wom-
ankind's got a good lesson, he's got his
girl, his girl has got him where she can
get even an 1--we got $2!''
Eyes, but how about the blood sweatin
behem oth?'' said the constable.
LES go down an see the critter, Dave.
Two dollars fer tickets an peanuts an pink
lemonsdei Haw, haw, l''-Earle H.
Eaton in Truth.