davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
Esmoling at the WhIteH ouse.

Secretary Long and Atty.-Gen. Nc
Kenna are great smokers, but they need
not expect to keep up with the tobacco
consumption of the President. Mr. Nc
Kinley is probably the most continuous
smoker who ever sat in the presidential
chair. His intimate friends have fears
that the habit, if persisted in, will injure
his health. Grant relieved himself occa-
sionally with a dry" smoke, but Mr.
Mckinley wants fire at the end of his
cioar all the tine-NeM York Press
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
The Faults and Follies OF the Age

Are numerous, but of the latter none is
more ridiculous than the promiscuous and
random use of Il xative pills and other dras-
tic cathartics. These wrench, convulse and
weaken both the stomach and the bowels.
If Hostetters Stomach Bitters be used in
stead of these no-remedies, the result is ac-
complished without pain and with great
liver Use this remedy when constipation
manifests itself, and thereby prevent it
from becoming chronic.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
Latest Bicycie Trinixet.

Maiden Lane jewelers. are offering a
bicycle complete for a song 1t happens
that they are the latest trinkets for
riders. They are perfect wheels in min
iature, and make a pretty breastpin.--
New York Letter.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
WhyItIS Necessary
To Take a Spring Medicine
Your Blood Must be Made Pure or
Impaired Health is Sure.

Firmly fixed among the important
principles of hygiene and health is the
acknowledged necessity Of good
Spring Medicine.
The necessity is found in the impure
condition Of the blood at this season,
owing to the close con-
impure SiF' fnement and breathing
Too Initiated air in Office, store,
pich Food. shop, house, factory or
schoolroom; x C essive
eating and drinking too rich and hearty
food: late hours and social indulgen ces.
Many years OF test have proved that
Hoods Sarsaparilla supplies the sea-
sons demand as nothing else does.
So easy to take and SO readily assim-
Hated, the purifying, vitaliZing and en-
riching elements of Hoods Sarsaparilla
combined from Natures own store
house Of vegetable remedies for human
ills, pass into the stomach and do their
work Of purifying and vitalizing the
blood, which carries new
RPPer'ce life and vigor to every
Health organ and tissue Of the
and Strength body. The effect is often
magical. The weakness
is soon driven off, that tired feeling dis
appears, the nerves are built up, the
appetite restored. Remember,
Hoods SaYSapariIIa
Is the hest-in fact the One True Blood Puri-
fer Sold by all druggists 81, six for SIS.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

People of Carson are elated because
they think fully 100000 will be spent
in their town by spectators of the big
fight
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

To restore gray hair to it's natural col
or as in youth, cause it to grow album
dant and strong, there is no better prep
aration than Halls Hair Remover.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Visitor-"What a beautiful library you
have. / really envy you
Retired Butcher-"Yes; and just look
at the binding Of them books"
Visitor-"I see; they are all bound in
calf"
Retired Butcher-"Just so: and I killed
all them calves myself what furnished
the leather. Texas Siftings.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Just try a Zoe box OF Cascarets. candy ca
thartic, finest liver and bowel regulator made.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Please remember that Gleun's Sulphur Soap presents
all the advantages Of sulphur baths at cheap rate.
Hill's Hair and Whisker Dye, black or brown, 50c
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Water alone has been known to sus-
tain life for fifty-tive days.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

When bilious costive, eat a Cascaret candy
cathartic, cure guaranteed, Zoe, 25c.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
Man wants but little here below,
Nor wants that little long;
The prima donnas want more, though
And want it for a song.
Nashville American.

A curious tale is told of how Barney
Barnato, the diamond millionaire, came
to be married. The foundation stone of
his fortune was a prudent purchase of
diamonds, which he deposited with a GER
tain barmaid in Kimberley. After a
time he asked for the diamonds, saying
that he was off to Europe and that they
would be married when he returned. II
think we'll be married first she replied,
and those were the only terms on which
he could get back the diamonds. This as
tute young lady is the present Mrs. Bar
nato, and their baby astonishes the sight
seers at Brighton with it's silver peram-
bula tor.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Robert 2. Porter in a letter to the
Philadelphia Inquirer tells a story which
goes to prove that there are kings and
kings, and that they are not all like the
German war lord. walking the streets
of Copenhagen some years ago with the
American minister" writes Mr.. Porter,
Il saw an elderly gentleman in a modest
uniform, accompanied by magnificent
bloodhound, walking toward us. The
pavement was narrow and we were on
the inside. Without giving us a chance
this kindly man, erect as an arrow,
stepped into the street and saluted Our
minister, military fashion. We both re-
turned the salute and passed on" 1t
was of course the King of Denmark,
who loves to ramble unattended about
his capital and who may be seen nearly
every afternoon walking along the
Wharves and quays of Copenhagen and
in the public thOroughfares. He is a
friend of the people and unusually be-
loved. Moreover, he is a modest uHpre-
age. The story about the King of Den
mark stepping off the sidewalk into the
street to allow two strangers to pass re-
calls the other story of the Yankee in
st. Petersburg who, meeting a distin-
guished Russian in very narrow walk,
on either side of which were deeDs of
slime, took a coin from his pocket. tipped
it in the face of the man and called cut
Heads or tails?' The Russian. smiling,
signifed in perfect French Tails" and
tails it was. With q low bow the Yam
kee stepped into the mud. knee deep, and
the Russian. saluting, passed on. 1t was
Baron de Giers, the great foreign min
lister.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

1t is calculated that the earth weighs
about 6,049, 1916, 000, 100000 tons.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

There are said to be 5000 cells in 8
square foot of honeycomb.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

The area of Matabeleland is put at
about 125, 900 square miles. 1t is sever
al degrees nearer the Equator than the
Transvaal, so should be, on the whole,
warmer
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
1867 BUS. POTATOES PER ACRE.

Don't believe it, nor did the editor
until he saw Salzer's great farm seed
catalogue. It's wonderful what an ar
ray of facts and figures and new
things and big yields and great testi-
moniaLs it contains.
Send This Notice and 10 Cents Stamps
to John A. Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse,
Wis, for catalogue and u rare farm
seed samples, worth $40, to get start.
The universities and clerical colleges
of Snain contain $50 professors
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
SPINNING WHEEL.
Ye say you're Scotch?
/ haze me dootsi
Ye'ye talked an hoor
An nae said "Hoots.'
-Harper's Bazaar.

One day last week Lieut.. Hag-
gard of Indiana, while presiding over the
state Senate, made a point of decorum
which some of the honorable members
considered altogether too pertinent.
Senator Sweeney was on the floor. He
referred to the gentleman from -
Il want to call the attention Of the
Senate to one thing" said the presiding
officer, rapping his gavel. 1.-THE sena-
tors are SeuatOrS-not gentlemen"
There was a moment of amazed 81
lcnce
The senators will address one another
as senator's, not as gentlemen" he added.
Then every man in the Senate cham
Der began laughing.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

A Clergyman recently stated that mar
riage is a preventive Of suicide. He
might have gone further and stated, too,
that suicide is q preventive OF marriage"
Lx-1honCn
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

did you hear what Whimpton's little
boy said when they showed him the
twins?"
mo: what was it?"
"He said: There! Mamma has been
getting bargains again. Puck.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

A gentleman stopped to listen to the
tune, played On hand-organ. which hap
pened to strike his fancy. When the air
was finished, he approached the Italian.
and asked the name of the music.
'Soferteramonigor answered the Ital-
ian, showing all his teeth in smile of
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31
appreciation at the compliment to his

appreciation at the compliment TO his
melodies.
The gentleman walked on, and endeav-
ored for many months to obtain the piece
of music with the unpronounceable
name But he never could find it. At
last one day he heard it played by an
American, and again asked the name of
the air he admired.
''Oh, that" said the player, sis an old
thing-'Silver Threads Among the
Goldv "-Harper's Round Table.
Judge Roy Bean of Langtry, Tex, de-
clares that he is the law west of the
Pecos'' Leslies Weekly tells an anec>
dote of him when he sat as coroner and
held an inquest on the body of a man
who had met a violent death by falling
from the great railway bridge that spans
that the man had Il revolver and $40 in
cash in his pocket when he was killed.
After swearing in Il jury and looking over
the effects of the dead man, Judge Bean
said: Gentlemen of the jury, there amt
no doubt how this man came to his death;
that's all plain; but what l would like to
know is why in the name Of thunder he
carried that gun. Now, gentlemen, it's
ag'in' the law to carry a concealed and
loaded gun III the state of Texas, and
jist because this gentleman took it into
his head to get killed don't mean to let
MN 11enQ the peace anu ulSully OIL Lea
as. | fine him $40
A 5-year-old who happened to be pres
ent when his auntie's new hat came
home the other day was much impressed
by the praise accorded it on all sides.
One word, however, puzzled him. Beau
tiful'' and sweet and elegant" all
these terms were clear enough, but when
it came to "Frenchy" he was at a loss
to know what was meant. What does
.Frenchy' mean, mammal" he asked.
what is 'Frenchy?" His mother there
upon explained that 'Frenchy" meant all
the other nice things that had been said
about the hat and more, too. 1T was
the weight of worldly encOmium. when
you wish to say that thing is particu
larly pretty and graceful and artistic;
when you want to give it the very high
est praise she said, you call it
'Frenchy.'" To all of which the 5-year-
cid listened with that intent literalness
indicative of his species. Some days aft
er this, when the arrival Of the hat had
presumably been forgotten by everyone,
the 5-year-old with his aunt, attended
divine service at well-known ritualistic
church for the first time. Upon his re-
turn his mother asked him what he
thought Of it all. ooh, l liked it SO
much" was the answer. SIT was 80
Frenchy Louis Globe Democrat.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

My doctor said l would die, but Piso's
Cure for CONSUMPTION cured me.--Amos
Kelner, Cherry Valley, Ills, Nov. %, 80.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Weaving was first practiced in China
B. c.. 1000.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Maurice Barrymore and some person
with whom he had business dealing were
walking down Fifth avenue together
They passed a blind man, who stood
with a tin cup in his hand and a sign
to explain the situation on his breast
The man, whom Barrymore was trying to
impress. stopped. With great delibera-
ton he drew a handful of silver from
his pocket. After shutting and search
ing it over for some time, he at last found
nickel. which he dropped in the tin
cup. Then he replaced the silver in
his pocket and slowly buttoned his coat.
Barrymore, who was irritated at the in
terruption, said: ooh, come aiong!"
The philanthropist looked at him full in
the eyes. Barrymore" he said, slowly
and distinctly-rather loudly. too-|'I al
ways give to the blind" "You are quite
right" said Barrymore quickly; "they
can't see what you are giving Them
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

Professor-~Pleasc give an example Of
actions speaking louder than Words
Adlet-"When a man calls for soda
water and accompanies his order with
wink, sif."-Harlem Life.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

In all Europe there are 6274 pro-
fessors in the colleges and universities.
Cascarets stimulate liver. kidneys and bowels.
Never sicken, weaken or grippe. Zoe.
In France there is one student of
medicine to every 7776 of its people.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-03-31

The stage manager of one of the Glas-
gov theaters was well known for his I'M
petuous and hasty temper.
On one occasion q drama was put on
in which 4 snOWStOrm occurred. Some
men were sent up into the flies with
brown paper bags filled with little pieces
of white paper, which they let fall to
represent the snow. Suddenly the
"Whaur's your snaw?' roared the
irate manager.
1--WE haze nae mair white paper, came
loud whisper from above.
'Then shaw broom, We fools! shaw
broonr' was the managers response.
-:O:-
An ingenious device of the whaling cap
tain to secure additional raw hands for
his cruise is described as follows by Mr..
Hamblin in his "a Sailorman's Yarns"
When a whaler is fitted out from home,
she takes her officers, bOatswain and 8
few foremost hands and steers for the
Western islands (Azores). Arrived there,
Il boat is lowered and a box of new boots
put in it. The crew pull ashore into some
convenient little bay surrounded by
woods, and, landing, they open the box
of boots and stand them all along in 4
row, Then one man begins at one end
eff the row and pulls all the boots on
and off again, one after the other. They
then board their boat and pull off around
the point out of sight, and the natives,
who have been watching them from the
woods, come down and try the boots on
When the officer in charge of the boat
thinks they have had time enough to be
fitted, he comes back, and the poor Gees,
being unable to run with the boots on
are easily captured and carried off whal-
ing. / know this to be a fact; for the
whalers told me of it themselves.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-31
BRIGHT BITS.

-'Wnl you please tell me" said little
Miss Gilman to the farmer, (which are
the cows that give the beef tea"'-Judge.
~. zoo. ,r,,,ao ,irr, lilo ~,
." ''y -'i'''lu0 I'M ca
angel why never hearo hei SINS a. a.
- a-',roi sir,o9 Harlem lie
,-.
oii'iiii1
pair OF gloves To-Day
Auntie-Did she, Tommie? What are
they, kids?
Tommie: No. indeed; they're mems
Harpers Bazaar
1,4-i+o,. ~, ir,..,r. os,,l,,o,- what is tho
i9''Ot w 80 -. =
nature OF the poor Iello" hdlluclldtioh
Keeper-He thinks that he invented the
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-31
Personal.

Senator DeD0c. the new senator from
Kentucky, visited the stationery room Of
the Senate the other day. and made a
selection Of paper, pens, pencils paper
cutters, blotting pads, a penknife and
other appropriate articles. Il think that
is all I want" he said as he turned 10
go. Haven't you forgotten a cork
screw?" asked the clerk No" said the
senator; that is one thing ] do not want
even if I do come from Kentucky. 1 do
not drink, ana I do not smoke"
L. r. Bosticl Of san Saba Tex, who
captured Gen. Santa Ana sixty-one years
ago, is now in his seventy-eighth year.
He went to Texas in 1S2S, and settled in
Austin county. IN 1885 he enlisted in the
Texas army, and in the following year
joined Gen. Houston's army. After a
j battle, in company with two other young
men, ne was scouting over the country
about eight miles from camp, when he
saw a Mexican standing in the high
grass. He attempted to hide, but they
took him prisoner, and he proved to be
Santa Ana.
Theodore Roosevelt, assistant Secre-
tary of the Navy, is terribly worked up
over the stealing of the cannon at West
Point from under the very noses of the
superintendent and quartermaster, and it
Il
of the government that orders will issue
suddenly from the navy department re-
quiring commandments to keep special
watch over our new vessels, lest they be
stolen by thieves and sold as old junk. 1t
is the assistant secretary's desire to score
as many points as possible on the army.
Rail-, the new Greek premier, is said
to be very attractive socially. He knows
the ancient Greek classics well. He
speaks several languages huently-notably
English, French and German. Notwith-
standing his busy life he finds time to go
into society, where he has the reputation
of being a brilliant and entertaining con-
versa tionahst. His brother, who is a doc
tor in Athens, practises medicine in
rather dilettaute fashion, being really
better known as a sportsman. His father
was a highly distinguished professor of
commercial law at the University of
Athens. and was a cabinet minister for
some time. M Rail- is still very rich, al
though he has spent a considerable
amount in propagatiug his political
views.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-31
Ben Deserved IT,,

About a year ago President Mckinley.
Commissioner of Patents Butterworth and
one or two other gentlemen were travel
ing, and occupied the same smoking apart.
ment, says the Washington Star The
conversation turned 10 the patent office,
ana one of the strangers inquired whether
any Of the others had known ex-Commis-
sioner of Patents BUtterworth.
"Oh, yes" promptly replied Maj. But
terworth; Il knew Ben Butterworth when
he was a boy. 1 have often seen his faith
er give him a sound licking"
but that can't be the one / mean; his
father was "A Quaker"
Eyes, he was Quaker. But l simply
testify to what have seen. / have fire.
quently seen Ben get licking. His father
licked him once or twice a week regu-
larly"
How did you happen to be on hand
when he got licked?' inquired the
stranger
"Oh. I played with Ben and 1 was gem
orally around
At this point In the conversation a friend
OF Maj Butterworth Joined tho company
and called him by name. The stranger
heard IT, and. coming over to him, re-
marked.
Being quaker. thought the old
man did wrong to Hex Ben. but now
am satisfied the boy richly deserved it,"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-31
Very wise st. Bernard.

Leo, a st. Bernard, owned by John G.
Hartmann of this city, proved a splendid
witness in his own behalf in a law suit
tried here this week, says a Wilmington
Del) dispatch to the New York Mail and
Express Benjamin c. Barclay sued
Hartmann for 5000 damages, declaring
that the dog had attacked him without
provocation. severely decorating his hand
and arm. Testimony was offered to show
that the dog had attacked other people,
In defense of his reputation Leo him self
appeared. He came to court gaily dressed
for the occasion in a silver collar and a
big red bow. He made a stately circuit
of the court room, went to the jury box
and offered his paw 20 the dignified twelve
and then gave the judges appealing
glances, tenderly rubbing his nose against
their knees and wagging his tail. Sew
eral persons also testified to his excel.
lent disposition. and he was proved to be
a great pet among the children in his
neighborhood.
When the judge summed up the case
and the jury filed out, the dog followed
them and remained in the jury room I'M
til he was put out. The jurors went out
at noon, and when court adjourned they
announced that they could not agree, and
were locked up for the night. At the
end of twenty-six hours they were DIS
charged, six of the jurymen firmly agree
ing that the dogs reputation for good
temper was excellent. Twenty-four bal.
lots were taken.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-31
just Like Her.

She was a matron, with comfortably
rounded figure, and she looked very nice"
as she started out by herself upon little
shopping expedition. says the New York
Times. That was what her pretty, grown
daughter had told her as she kissed her
goodby this morning.
She had a comfortable feeling herself
that she was looking well. She had never
had new gown which she felt was more
suitable or becoming. Her coat was equal
ly satisfactory, and her hat, also new
had caused her no misgivings.
She had cached one of the large stores
where several of her purchases were to
be made. She was walking down toward
a large doorway through which she saw
woman coming. Her general feeling of
eomplaisancy toward herself had made her
trllle critical
How horribly stout she is" she thought
to herself, as she drew near the APP
preaching figure. And her gown is al
most exactly like mine" she continued,
lnWardly, with a feeling of annoyance.
1t is simply impossible to have anything
original in the way of wearing apparel
nowadays. People have no sense of hon
esty where dress is concerned
Il believe her coat is exactly the same
cut as mine, too. It's a shamer her eyes
travelling upward as she continued. "And
actually her" she stopped short there
as her eyes, which had jumped to the
hat of the subject of her reflections, were
arrested by glimpse of the face below it,
which was astonishingly familiar She
gave quick glance at the doorway she
had been approaching. There was a little
flush upon her cheeks, as she made an
abrupt turn to the right. but her voice
was very suave, if dignified, as she said
to young woman clerk:
was looking for the parasol counter.
Can you tell me where 1 will find it?''
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-05-31
benedict Arnold. Horned Horse.

A good story comes from Rldgeheld, that
fine old town down IN Fairfield county.
which has many residences OF wealthy
New Workers says the Hartford Times.
The people are proud OF the revolution
airy history of the place, and one OF the
residents has local reputation for his
knowledge En- that line.
The other day some workmen dug up a
lot Of bones. which were promptly convey
od to the village historian and laid on
his table" As the story goes, he adjust
ga his spectaclos, asked as TO the precise
location whore the relies were found put
on hls thinking cap and Immediately pro-
cecded TO remember. AQer remembering
for a few minutes, he distinctly recalled
the fact that Gen Benedict Anod's horse
was shot under him while the revolution
airy war was being fought az that identl-
cal spot and was buried where IL fell. The
bones now occupy n showcase IN the vll-
laae museum of history Ia the rear OF the
village store.
But the horns. which were dug up nt
the same place, were huulodly buried
again.