The age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1897-1902, 1897-12-08

must have been intended for my brother
Bacon" Adr. Justice Bacon sat in the
same court. When a judicial witticism
has the honor of being introduced into an
original musical comedy, there can be
HttH doubt that the bench is an acknoWl-
edged seait of humor as well as of learn
ing-at least we hope there cannot. A
few years ago when the long-Winded
counsel remarked WE will now address
ourselves to the furniture" concerning
which the case was about, and the long
suffering judge replied: You have been
doing that for some time, Mr.. DASH" a
well known comedian, taking the part
of a judge brought the antcdote into a
play then running at the Prince of Wales
theaiter with the greatest success, which
was, of course, very fiattering TO the Ju-
dician bench.
TO be able TO carry off an untoward In
cddellt with an impromptu wittieism Of
the first water is gift that belongs to
few. We think we are correct in stating
that 1t was Sir ]. w. Chitty, who ex-
Chained when a piece of ceiling fell down
on his desk when he was in the midst
of giving judgment: "Justitia fiat, ruat
coelum" (Let justice be done though
the heavens falD, a remark that COM
pares very favorably with the intsrpo-
lated gag of a celebrated actor when a
globe fell on the stage of a provincial
thsatsr: Hello! the glass is falling-we
shall have RAIN We would not say that
the magisterial bench is without humor,
but it must be admitted that when the
ueyal arms behind the bench IN LONDON
police court almost fell upon the occu-
pant thereof, that individual had nothing
to say that could strictly speaking be
classified as humorous. The magistrates
court, however, enjoys pasnty of good
laughs, and the following dialogue is
fair specinsn of The police court joke.
The prisoner having pleaded guilty to
STEALING some lead piping, the magistrate
1cslyc 10 6Ia laor. n hi NO flN
prisoner (contumaciously): you have
all the say yourself" The magistrate:
"Well, my say lis twelve months hard
labor" Qaughter-in that part of the
court where the prisoner was npt.)
When ona has a reproof to deliver, 1t
is aus well (from the reproVed's point OF
view that the same should be admins
tered like the powder Iii the infantlle jam
IN as palaiabIe a form as possible. Per-
haps that idsa struck the present master
of rolls, Lord Eshdn when junior cited
the Law REPORTS" as "2 Q. B. d. When
Lord Esther said, "That lis not the way
you should address u.s. the Junior Pro
tested that he intended no disrespect. but
that the formula was an abbreviation Tor
1.-THE second volume of the Queens Bencn
Division reports" Il might as We'll
replied the master, SAY to you, u. B.
D." Another instance that occurs to
us is the cage eff a barristsT who had
almost been called to order cn several
occasions for having branded his CHI
ent's husband Cthe dsfendanD in terms
hardly compatible with courts of law
but luckily managed to escape until he
said, at is pardonable to be ugly, but
thefre are limits. Now these limits Mr.
X. has overstepped outrageously. L DO
not believe there is AN uglier man in the
world than Mr.. X"
Sir said the judge, reprovingly, you
forget yourself
If there is any truth in the popular idea
that the inhabitants of Scotland are
without amy sense of humor, the court OF
law, one would imagine, would especially
biz devoid eff wit. but in REPUTATION of the
theory, numerous incidents rsplete with
humor could be quoted. The house OF
Boswell, for instance, supplied several
examples, as Boswell, senior, and Bos-
we'll, junior-he who acted as cicerone TO
johnson when touring IN Scotland W5re
both to be met with in the law courts!
Pleading on one occasion before his faith
eu- who was Ordinary on the bllls,
which sounds like a menu, but was not,
he said something with which his lord
ship differed. "Ye're an ass, mon, SAID
piled the biographer, II am not an ass;
but am a colt, this foal off an ASST And
not only did you murder him, whereby ne
was bereaved of life, but you did thrust
or pierce, or push, or proJsct, or proper
the said weapon Through the Deliy-paha
his maies.y's" Such were the words
used by the famous Lord Eskgrove once
when summing up. "A grim example OF
unconscious humor.
This story of an unfortunate judge VINO
said 10 A. diminutive counsel 'S n, when
has.rtslter addresses the court he must
stand" and on receiving the reply, i
am standing ON the bench, my lord,
apologized at length, and Immediately
told another barrister of considera PIE
height to sit down, only to receive the
meek but overwh dining answer, Il am
sitting my lord" reminds one of the
case of a dfminutive Scotch counsel who
had a stool brought into court upon
which he stood when pleading. On one
occasion the judge dema nded to KNOW
what the stool was for, and upon having
the matter explained to him observed
that ''that was one way OF raising at
fine bar" 1t was of the two former
barrlsters that tlIs follow sp1gram was
written:
Mahaffy and Coils, ill-pa red in a case,
Representatives true of ths rattling-saze
race;
To the heights of the law, though I hope
you will Mise,
You will neWsr be urges, I'm sure, or
a(s)size.
enlivened the court of sessions in Scot
land on one occa sion by demanding to
know what excuse a certain judge mad
given for not being pr;sent. My lord,
sai the president the has lost his WIRE.
Brtaxfield replied with a heartfelt sign,
HAS he? That is a guide excuse. indeed;
1 wis we had a the same" The tales
of Lord Erslxine are numerous and good,
though, perhaps the best are told OF nlfn
in his private character. Having De
come the proud posss ssor of Sussex es-
tate on wnicf grew nothing but birch
trees. he had the same cut down and con-
yertsd into brooms; on one of his broom
sellers being hauled up before the mag
istrate for having n, license, Erskine
undertook his derfensie. and stated that
there was clause to meet the very case.
On being asked what it wias he replied
"The sweeping clause, your worship.
which is further fortified by proviso
that nothing herein contained shall pre-
vent any proprietor of land from Tend-
ing the produce thereof in any manner
that ta him shall seem fit DR.. Parr.
who was very great at writing Latin
epitaphs, or imagined himself so to be
CHI -f.ad hx