The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-02-28
DOG SHOW In A TOY HOUSE.
MR.. BELLS TRIALS WITH A MIS-
FIR ST. BERy4RD IN A COTTAGE.

hthThf " Ntsuom Abput boHn anu gu
teer fircmen - susanS Astonishing Act.
Mr.. Tusie Bell of Nutley. N. j., has an Office in
New York. Mr.. Bell is q worthy young man
who has been married about a year and daily
crosses the ferry along with the noble army Of
suburban martyrs from New Jersey. In spite OF
his presence in the city. however. he did not
visit the dog show last week. Mrs. Tugie Bell
did. She came up one day and spent an entire
afternoon at the Garden, but her husband was
not with her. She ran into his Office on her way.
but found him chatting with an old chum. whom
she asked down to stay over night in Nutley
with them. Then she tripped OF to the show.
"Didn't you want TO go with herr asked the
chum.
Great scottl' exclaimed Mr.. Tugie Bell.
What do l want to go to q dog show fori Why.
Hive in a dog show; regularly live In one. You
wait till you como down tonight. You'll I'M
derstand then"
"Neighbors keep dogsr' inquired the chum
alphabetically.
"Neishbors!' exclaimed Mr.. Tugie Bell. II
don't think they keep anything. Not even their
tempers. No, the dog show Is ours. Or we are
its. I don't know which. You see, my wife
loves dogs. Oh yes, she Just loves EN-. SO do 1,
for that matter. But I love a dog in its place,
you understand. and l know where It's place Is.
So does the dog when I get through with it.
Well. my wife and 1. you see. We differ in our
ideas OF a dogs place. and the dog which we
possess being really hers Of course her ideas
arc the ones that go-in this case"
You must ind 1t q good thing TO have a dog
In the country" volunteered the chum.
"oh." groaned Mr.. Tusie Bel. that's wha.
the other scouadrrl said. I mcan-thc man
that gave the brute to my wife. Old man.
leaning forward AID tapping his friend on the
knee, If another fellow ever cuts you out and
marrics the girl you want, don't take a mean.
low revenge on him by giving his wife a st.
Bernard dog as big as O house. Bigger than q
house. At any rate. bigger than his house.
That's what my unsuccessful rival did"
you don't mean III And how did your vito
take itf'
What, the dogi With open arms, old man,
with open armsl We've u regular toy house
down there-may as well prepare you for It now.
You'll be at perfect liberty 10 put your feet on
the manteL 1t economies floor room. and when
the Devil Is around. why. l tell you, floor room is
at a premium in our house"
The devil r. echoed Mr. Tugie Bells friend
inquiringly.
THE dog, you know. His name is Robert 10
DiAble, but l call him the Devil. II Is the ono
piece OF solid satisfaction l get out of him. As
was saying. we've q little toy house there. and
when the Devil Is In. which Is pretty much all
OF the time, why. we get into a corner and try to
shriyeL. You mustn't mind 1t II the dining room
table suddenly gets up and takes a scoot for the
door. The house isn't haunted. though we have
table ~t!lpings as our daily programme. When
the dog les down under the table. which be does
about seventy.ave times n day, he slips under
all right, you know. But it's another story when
he gets up. Then is when the table humps Itself.
I'm thinking OF having 1t lifted with racks the
way they do on shipboard. l did screw the legs
10 the floor blt fharp yyus gpu,g zorf ~ N Ef,E
about it: don't remember exactly what. Oh,
yes: they, couldn't sweep under ".
oh. LorC! aid. What do YOU want 20
sweep .undcr II fort Thc Devil keeps 1t clean
switching his tail aroun! when hes under there
We don't keep any lamps or br!c'a.hrac on
the tables" pursued Mr. Tuxie Bell. I'VE hal
10 learn that by bitter experience. though. The
Lrst time the Devil upset n lamp | managed To
Migration OF my eyebrows and front hair. But
the, next time We didn't get on so easily. NJ
syeSrgws and hSr asdn't g.; lair,y startet
the progress OF the flames. which leaped past me
and caught the lace curtains. As good, luck
would have IL, one OF my sisters used to be ad-
dicted 10 the lAce-curtain hAhit-sctting them on
IRE, you snow, when she was curling her hnlr-so
eot them Ult on the ltNu.And then | kicked the
dog while they burned mp. The Volunteer Fire
had a line Of hose attached, and were Just going
70 turn = stream into the parlor when l Inter
deuce and all. thought they would flood the
house, whether or no. | stnl had the dog by the
collar, SO / told the foreman OF the company that
him or he could turn the hose on the dog.
IN do %neither!' said he.
you don't want 10, but III do one!' and with that
bit the dog a clip that made him Jump six feet.
landed ! looked around and located the fireman.
who bad also..moved slightly.
long / can hold him. Win YOU lake another
ch9igei II wont cost you anything. This amt
- Hold m q a "A - la FanYhfpts Cu~ Fnr hfa hnaa
which lay where he hat dropped Il. and was
Doing " ysEy prstty Git q hysragliG mining in
a.! can't much longer ! says
thai at " tasen ny choice, says be- and with
NJ. TUsis Bel paused.
s. ~ii !n,nnd L IT, hp g. on the aqS, 2; ! had sqs,
t-d tO-mc. but h" Uncar,hcd a few pearls OF
wisdom, whish we're. perhaps, worth the p;o.
them is that you don't waut to try to buck a fire
engine. stream OF water. Another ono is that
nary circumstances. is not beside you when you
order Il hose turned on him.
We'll" resumed Mr.. Bell, lin these and
and other broakables above high water mark. so
to speak. You won't lind the light very good
dificulty which We have had in trying to doin"s.
ticate. tho Devil has been with servants. We
don keep many. OF course. Only one, in fact,
keeping even one. We kah Rbout twenty-five.
one after another, but tho Devil few away with
them all. AT any rate, he drove them OF In one
way or another. But finally the, gods took pity
on Us and sent Us the one We have now. She
loves dogs, If you'U believe mo, and she don't
ask anything better than TO go paradlng through
the village with he Deytl stalking soleunly h--
eide her. \ peacock would 10 hide his head; I
mean his tail, In modification at the sight OF SUI
sans glory.
But, by Joyel the Devil came pretty near
being too much for Susan, too" exclaimed Mr..
Tugie Boa, slappsnS his knee with mirth.
"GcOrgc! but that vas the funniest thing Two
seen -lncC-since | didn't see IN self turned into
q hydraulic mine. You see, there L. one thing
I've taken n. real stand about lately. l simply
won't have the Devil under the table during tho
dinner. ! don't object 50 much AZ breakfast.
but dinner Is so much more destructive 10 your
wA!stcoat, you know; from the outside. You
know. Consomne IS bad enough, old man, but
cream soups are awful! Just awful, / simply
couldn't stand IL. The Devil seemed 10 pick out
the coup course md other liquid ones for his
exits, and the table always caFeened like Il slOop
In II sluall.
when | vowed that 1t was no Devil or no din.
ner with me, my wife gave up, Of course, and
said the dog must be routed out before each
meal. Susan routed him out all right, but sho
-