The National tribune., 1897-11-04
CHAPTER X.

God forgive me, but am afraid that the
story / bad heard Of my wife's good fortune
and heroic endsavor gave me more unhap-
piness than pleasure. 1t hurt me to think
that she had done so well without me; that
she had succeeded where had failed iii the
struggle for wealth. ] would not have had
her suffer but / am sfraid-sorely afraid
that / would have liked better if she had
not been so prosperous as to make my earn
iDes matter of no moment
Whether this feeling arose from that
sensitveness which always affects one whose
mental equilibrium has been for a time dis
turbed, or was merely the result of the fact
that / am a man, / cannot tell. Perhaps
no man quite relishes the thought that
those he loves are able 10 exist without his
care and assistance. lie thinks God made
him the bread-winner, perhaps the dictator,
of the domestic circle and is never quite
willing TO abdieate in favor of another, even
if that other be proved to be of superior
efficiency.
At any rate, what / had heard added
greatly 10 the humiliation of my position.
1 not only would not 60 into that Eden,
mar its joys, and bring shame TO those
whom loved, but even if / had been will
ing to subject them to such trial could not
as a dependent. / had dgedmed some
rather pleasant things during the days had
spent in my little room under the caves in
the old hostel, and watched the ebb and
flow Of which / would fain become once
more part. / had dreamed that / would
secure employment. Then / would hunt
some little nook where / could live and
work. and find way TO transmit 10 those |
loved the proceeds of my labor without
their being able to trace its source
The idea fascinated me. j had even
begun TO carry 1T into effect. An article or
two had been accepted By the periodicals.
] was sure could make my new name re-
sIeclable in the literary world, and earn at
least a livelihood perhaps something more
One does not love oblivion, but saw it was
my doom-my inevitable destiny There
was nothing else for me. / would go and
look upon her fair, sweet face one more, and
then sink again into eternal night.
So planned that the next day would
20 and look at my old home-ihe home she
had so - much Improved ] had still two
days before ! should need to take my place
In the Institution" / was. resolved
never again TO leave the shelter of It's walls.
j would remain iu the city until the next
afterEoon,-I really was not able TO 90 be.
been so great,-then / would 90 ont, see the
home / had never loved so well. get
glimpse OF those who were so dear. and 90
from thence TO the sepulcher hewn ont of
rock which waited for que in the glittering
Gehenna on the green hillside
On the morrow ] fauntered about bid
ding farewell TO the city which had so
charmed me in the brief period of reiu-
Venescence. was not sorry TO leave ii now
Hope was dead, and there is no glamor
without II. Already ] had begun 10 long
for my little room with the grated windows.
The world had nothing for me. aud | grew
eager TO escape once more from even the
sight of lis clustering life
] had entered the dining-room Of the
hotel for ny last meal there. With the in
consistency OF a man under sentence Of
death, determined that il should be a good
one, and gave lavish order Ny farewell
TO the world should at least be elaborate. /
had just finished the first course when two
ladies entered and were marshalled by the
head-waiter along the avenue between the
htile tables, toward the one / occupied.
glanced at the one in front-iall. slender.
full Of grace, but unshrinking and COM
posed perfect type OF the new woman 4"
had beeu studying of late Behind her. |
caught glimpse of gray hair, and smiled
in spite Of my dependency TO think how at
the ceniuIy's ending, to-day unconsciously
took the lead Of yesterday
Something about the face attracted me
and II was not until they were almost
opposite the table where / sat that noted
that of the elder lady who followed in her
wake. 1t needed but a glance! The hair
was gray; the form had lost something OF
ats grace, but the unlorgotten glory of q
face lighted with the divine radiance O.
undying love, hid all else from my sight
blotted all else from my thought
Across unnOted years / gazed into the
face of my wife-no; not nv wife-tht
wlie OF Phllp Deyens. As she came opposits
where sat her eyes met mine. A look o.
sudden terror filled them. The color fed
from, her face and left ii white as marble
She stumbled, and | thought would hay,
fallen, but she caught the waters out
stretched hand and was seated in the chair
st my back. had only to turn and stretch
forth my hand to touch her-to take her IN
my arms-tO be DeveDs again. / could not
would not!
why mamma, what is the matter ?" thu
young lady exclaimed