, 1897-09-30
JONES'S EXPERIMENT.
How a Benedict Studied His Wife's
Character.

John Jones was telling his wife-,hsy
had no. been married very long, by the
way-abOut a man who came home one
night so drunk That he had to lie down
on the floor. while his wife pulled his
shoes off FOR him. He also mentioned the
fact mat that mans wife did not seem
to take her husbands condition to heart
very badly. bur made rather a joke OF l.,
and twittei him in the morning quite
gcod-humoredly.
Such a spirit" remarked Jones,
strikes me as being very creditable to
4 N Ii isn't every mans wife
who regards an occasional lapse SO lani.
emily. Now. as you know, I am no. a
drinking man, but II | should geL drunk
one o. these nights say If | should
low would you take liz" And he watch
ID her face carefully as he asked the
question.
Mrs. Jones laughed heartily. The :dea
;eerlei to amuse her very much. But
sac Strengthened out hSr features and
assumed a shocked expression. Il
should be disguised, john she said,
'perfec,ly disguised. Why, | shudder
Il the mere idea OF your being intoxi-
ca;ei. You would lose my respect John,
right away. and whatever you do, you
mas; never forfeit that, No. John, dear,
| could never stand your being drunk"
John listened with great attention 10
his reply. and he came to the conclu-
son that she didn't mean a word Of it.
Jones was something OF a reader Of
character. and in his own quiet way h.
mad been studying the various phases
Of his wise's disposition ever since they
had been married, two years ago.
Dear me- murmured Mrs. Jones. one
night or early morning. about a week
4. @r this conversation already noeed,
Il wonder where John can be! He's
never been 50 late before GU, playing
poker. | feel quite anxious"
The hour was 2 a. m and Mrs. Jones
was sea ed in A chair with a book in her
i1.lh. ~ SI' was mo- l'l'ihS.
Suddenly she heard the rattle Of a key
IN the lock OF the outer door of the FIAT.
and in a few moments her ears noted the
sound Of something stumbling along the
hall. She grew pale. and stood up. The
par.or-door was opned with considera-
BILE violence, and she saw -. Well,
she could scarcely believe her eyes al
frs. Was this her husband? The
pee, acle in the open doorway was that
Of a man with a battered hat. torn coat.
and ouser splashei with wet mud.
H gazei at her with blinking eyes, his
ui5u;h tremb,ed, and he leered at ner.
HIS eyeglasses were fastened on TO his
ear.
"Lo:"
"Oh. john was all she could say
"L0, Mira" ne repeated, 10! Wash
mar? WIN N gimme kiss. hey?" Then
ne chuckled. Hey" he said again, in
4 loud and fierce tone o: voice.
"Oh. John" she said, approaching
him with reluctance. come into Inc
room. for goodness sake, and close he
door. The people in the fiat above viii
hear you,'
On care 7 they do he replied. stiil
hanging on TO the knob and swaying
abou; unsteadily. Who care IA, ha.
ha. Who cares? Devil b!t,'
She closed the door and he Immediate
" slipped to the floor with a hump.
She surveyed him as he lay there with
an expression on her face that had never
been there before. And then she won,
iered what was to be done. As she
4 maudlin fashion, hitting himself IA
he eye.
Pull off bools." he commanded.
She turned away with a glance OF
aversion.
Pull of boo;." he repeated. banging
his heels on the carpet. She hesi;atet
fer an instant. but obeyed him.
Come, John" she then said. Try
and get up. See if you can take holr
0: my arm. I'll take care Of you. dear.
Come. There's a good boy Her tone
was quite affect!onate.
Il seemed to have some effect on him.
Tor he rose with difficulty. She led him
out 10 the bathroom. Get in the bath.
now. dear" she said sweetly.
Gen wot?' he exclaimed.
The bath-tub," she repeated.
Blu; err CONNIE cloze on" he objected.
looking around at her.
oh. no. you haven't. John" she cd
him. You think you have, but you
haven't. Now get in, like a good boy"
Her argument seemed unanswered BILE
10 him. SO he laughed foolishly and
slowly climbed into the tub. though in
a hesitating kind OF a way. He was
no sooner in than she grabbed his head,
pushed it under the tap, and turned or
the cold water at full force. 1t took him
So much by surprise that ne was at first
~motion.ess, but he soon commenced to
Struggle violently. In vain. She he'd
his head with both of her hands.
AT last he gave a superhuman effort
and Stood up straight in the bath.
Here! here!" he yelled, what the
devil does this mean" His enunciation
was perfectly clear.
Mrs. Maria Jones laughed very heart
lily indeed.