The Houston daily post. [volume] (Houston, Tex.) 1886-1903, 1897-09-05
CURRENT FUN.

An old librarian. unable 10
umbrella one evening when II b
to close. returned and looked |,
for 1t in the card catalogue ~
letter U.--London Household Tad
"How dislike the word 'ecoou
"On what grounds?''
ut is such a queer thing. n
condemns us il we don't pra,.ix
despises US If we do. "--Detroit I'm
Penelope--What did he send n
wedding present!
Pauline-Cut glass.
Penelope-Ah. tableware, sun
Pauline-No. a necklace. ---NeI
Truth.
II see" said Rubberneck viii
down his paper. that the doctor
East are treatin' Teller III
trouble by hangin' i'm up by I'll
1t may work; there's no tellin. B
it's mighty good treatment ior
mania. cause I've saw 1t tnaI
dianapolis Journal.
Tom Barry--Why did the LMt|
mand us to love our neighboui
Perdita-Because we can get AID
most everybody else.--New York y
New Woman-Simply becauss u
marries a man is no reason M
should take his name.
Old Bathelor--That's so. The r.
low ought to be allowed to keep ~
he could call his own.-Judge.
II hab notice." said Uncle Ebeb
man kin mos allus fin people ID
LIQUOR fur i'm ontell he gifts 50 ru|
dat his system actually feels Do n
1t. Den dey tells i'm he ortcr
shamed OBJ hissef. "-Washington ~
You have all sorts of pie, I "a
sign in the window" said the Il
customer. as he went into the bake
addressed one of the young wond
stood behind the counter.
Yes. sir. What kind do You
II will take a magpie. If You pks1
At this remark another young
snlckered, but the other girl turned
promptly and said: Here. Bertha
are wanted. "--IIarper's Bazaar.
During the Honeymoon. --She---Wn
the first thing you thought after y
proposed to me?
Hell thought what a fool ia :
ever have any doubt that you'd ~
considering the way you jumped
chance. Cleveland Leader.
"Ycu Nawthunuhs. said the g1e
from Mississippi. seem to have z
that high sense OF pussonal hopn
the SUNNY South. y
Think so?" said the Hoosier.
20 down to one of the barrel ho e.
call the barkeeper slob, II you ~,
high sense OF personal honor Is e2s'
Journal.
TITS a lucky thing for some o. '
composers that they didn't live y
said the German critic.
Il don't quite see why. They ~
appreciated now than when they Y
Yes, but they'd BIO punished ~
majesty. sure. They have been USE;
Of the emperor's musical ideas
lngton Star.
II went In for amateur pnosvs
Turing nv vacation" said the =
man. There was no end of girls y
Iects.' Z.
But how did YOU make out ana
yirls?"
"oh. I got lot of negatives. Z
lelphia North American.
The Fat Lady (sweetly)-Bes =
Did I sit on you, sir!
The Lean Man (crankily)-'
The Fat Lady (bridling)-Oh. =
iare say you needed it.-Judge'
At the Private Theatricals.--Mla,ns,
nue-Oh my! ! can never go on sn
in this skirt. It's half way to ~,
sympathetic Friend-Thats ~
sn't it? Wait al moment, dear. q
get you the scissors. New York wv
Servant-Can I see me bedroom =
Mistress-Certalnly. Just come
Servant'-If it's in the attic you
rouble. me'am.
Mistress--Oh. no; this is the y "
the first floor, you see. We use Y
Seryant-won't do. Quite oul =
question.
Mistress-I'm very sorry.
Servant-Don't mention II; but
20 place for me PLAINLY and ] aiis
10 have the north light for me "
n's.-New York Journal.
Our Merchant Marine.
hamilton Herald. "a
Senator A. W. Terrell says thai.
larber Of Constantinople. where &.
ne hundred ships load and uni35
argoes every day. scarcely ever 3
cen that floats the American hak
y~rlr ,1oea ~.,h.n rn6i