Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1897-09-01
WEDNESDAY EVENING. SEPT. l, 1897

uc6Q Will Joutheiio"S
prise the other day, was kind enough
to furnish the public with two or three
columns of matter giving some &C.
count of the census taken by the Con
fsderate government; or, as gentlemen
with azure abdomens would politely re
mark, by "Jeff Davis" The writer
was. he says, an assistant marshal
and had many and divers adventures
in carrying out the duties OF
his Office in the State OF Ala
bsma. he was called g "chicken
man." The old ladies soured on him;
talked fully as contemptuously OF JEFF
Davis" as modern patriot and loyallst
would do in this year Of grace; called
him a drafted old villain." &c., and
finally set dogs on the unfortunate CEN
sus taker, while one of the country peo-
pie managed to enveigle him into
deep basin where he got properly wet
and nearly drowned. There are one or
two elements of probability about this
circumstantial story and some quite the
reverse. Long ago, in 1910 or there
abouts, a census was taken under
President Van Buren's auspices, which,
by exacting unusual details, ve1ed
some good country people. An Ala
bama humorist of that epoch, possibly
Mr.. Jos. G. Baldwin, wrote up 8 funny
account of his alleged adventures in
taking the census, which reads very
much, barring the dates, as If it had
been pirated from the story re-
ferred to. The old lady said
sha must be put down as
"ageable;" that if she had q chance she
would "cut Van Buren's head of" and
also set the dogs upon the census taker.
By a remarkable coincidence one dog
was named "Tige," and the old lady
employed precisely the same language
on this occasion as seems to have been
employed seventy years later and duly
reported in 1897. The first story was
decidedly the best of the two. The d.
alect was more natural and there was
an absence of padding which, while not
up to the requirements OF the modern
newspaper, is some indication of truth
fulness. Still, while the resemblance
may be somewhat suspicious, all know
that history repeats itself, and the rep
etition of these incidents may have
happened. In these days anything
may happen. A Yankee might tell the
truth about the South. Per contro, it
is hard to conceive how, after the
United States had taken very full
census in 1860, the Confederate govern.
ment should have felt it necessary to
take an elaborate census of everybody
and everything, including the chickens,
only two or three years afterwards. The
Confederacy had very little spare cash
for census Investigations. Men were
needed for the army and the absolutely
necessary functions of government. At
an early day New Orleans and South.
ern Louisiana were occupied by the
Federals, part of Virginia (nearly all of
what is now West Virginia), and most
of Kentucky and Missouri. A census
of such States would have required the
cooperation OF the two hostile govern
ments. Again, if the census was taken,
as stated, how does it happen that
the Confederate historians make
no mention of the fact !? No Confeder.
ate happens to know anything about
it. There were indeed morning reports
Of the regiments, brigades, etc., but
those were confidential papers. What
law authorized the census? Who
superintendent it )? What official
document contains 1t? Where could
an antiquarian buy copy? The
truth of the matter is that no
census was ever taken by the
Southern Confederacy. The govern
ment and the people were far too busy
to attempt it or even to think of it. 1t
might he well now to take census of
the many lies that have been published
about the South since the war, but the
many volumes Of such q document
would require very expensive addi.
ton to the new Library, and the people
are already taxed enough. To sum up,
the newspaper alluded to has been
taken in and done for. The space
writing system does not always con-
duce to accuracy. If anything has
been paid for this lengthy contribution
to war history, it ought to be refunded.
This is legal judgment, though to be
candid, the imaginative and highly
favored narrative is about SIS valuable
as most of the solemn and pompous
Federal histories which the Grand
Army crowd would like to have accept
cd as gospel truth.
TIE GOVERNOR, through a Washing
ton newspaper-he doesn't have much