New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-01-13
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

An old man. seventy-fve years Of age. and his
wife, five years younger. in an English institution
for aged. recently requested the authorities TO
let them have a tandem bicycle. they felt the
need of exercise.
Judge-Are you aware OF any mitigating circum-
Crminal-Yes, Your Honor; this is the hfueth
time have been arrested for vagrancy. and
thought that perhaps we might get up a little
jubilec.-CTit-Bts
A suit for damages has just been brought against
an English provincial new spaper 10y husband who
considered himself and his wife aggreved by the
in which the couture of the latter was dc
scrIbed In the report of the county ball published
in the journal in question They recall the dcscrip
ton of the Warehouses of Tavistocks hcaddress nj
the Queens drawing room. described 10y the court
newsman and commented on by a volunteer out
side with abominabe ideas on the subject of hair
dressing whom nevertheless it does not appear
that the Marquis brought into court for damages.
This Is the description OF the court newsman:
Tho front hair was curled a la neige dixie snowl
Mt the top ornament in diamonds like pea
cocks tail; the back hair raised from the roots.
accompanied each side by cured marteauN
thammers" And then the comment Of the voun-
teer and much too previous outsider: "A recent
book of travels gives the following account of the
nepresscs in the Interior OF Africa The women
are satisfied with little clothing but they hestow
much care on tho decoration of their heads Th"ir
wooIlv locks are saturated with oil often of the
description. In front they are ar
ranged in of frizzy curls. and the hair be-
hind Is drawn tightly to the top of the head ami
twisted into n knot. into which is stuck buncH
Of peacock ostrich other feathers. IT time ana
hair permit there are other knots at the side of
the head to which more feathers or beads ar"
attached Suet or chalk Is then blown through a
reed the head and face and the cheeks are
beautifully bedaubed with red paint ask. sir.
where is the difference? Which is the more bar
barous-I assert also the most preposerouSy an
surd-the headdress CT the M2rchioness Of Tavi-
stock or that Of the poor savage" If the said
newspaper contains anything like this, II is quite
time 1t was brought before the local cadi and
mucted by damages heavy enough to be remem-
bered at least till the next county ball comes
around.
A Doubtful Blessing-Perry Patetic-Woudn't ii
be great to have million dollars j. would ar
not I'VE thought of so many things would do
with 1t that would clean Kill me to carry out the
programme.-(CincinnauE Enquirer
The surpice question is again being agitated in
England justitying renewed attention to the cpl
gram of Tho Hood written when Henry Phil
potts was Bishop of Exeter the subject then max
ing a similar row in the establishment as has ever
been its wont. The lines put In the mouth Of
a BENEDICT and it will he observed that the force
of their appeal is to the married:
very pretty public stir
Is making down at Exeter
About the surplica fashion.
Have been bestowed upon the feud.
And much n-Christian passion.
For me. neither know nor care
Whether parson ought TO wear
a black dress white dress.
Filled with trouble Of my own.
wife who breaches In her gown
And lectures in her nightdress
The Pope used be the idol of the French SOL
diers during the occupation Of Rome. and did not
disdain to maintain with them the intimate rela-
tons and cordality Of village pastor. Whenever
b home
never failed to visit His Holiness to obtain mis-
bcnediction. and the soldiers were always warmly
received One day trooper made singular ana
daring requcst-that the Pope would say mass
for him, for him alone. The Pope consented
But" said the soldier II want TO be present"
"Wel" answered the Pope. "comc AZ tomorrow
to nv private chapel No one but yourself shall be
admitted" Tomorrow" suddenly replied the SOL
der ITO morrow I've got to 20 to the station TO
see some Of the boys off But the day after Pope.
I'm your man" Every WELL my SON. said the
Pope. with n smile. day after tomorrow be it,"
He was about as black as the traditional ace of
samed the the right to ea him Husband sat bolt
upright in the courtroom and glared at the de-
"Yo'r Honor" said the prisoner II want to apply
for change OF venus In TINS case cas-
1T want a change Of venus, repeated the defend
ant "becauss one OF desc women IL preudiced
ag'in me. '-(Iroy lIHes'
A London paper says that one afternoon gor-
s.ous motor-car used by firm for advertising
purposes decked with driver and footman In
god-aced uniforms was speeding along Stoke
Newineton Road. when the machinery suddenly
gave a sharp crack and broke down The liveried
attendants were obliged to descend from the vehicle
and push IT slowly along from behind A number
Of cabmen In the neighborhood promptly entered
into the humor OF the situation. and formed them
selves into procession. one Of them performing an
pofa dpad ma on "A N which
he had picked UP somewhere.
The examiner wished TO get the children TO ex,
press moral reproba Of lazy people and he led
up 10 It by asking them who were the persons VINO
got all they gould and did nothing In return FOR
some time there silence. but at last uttle
girl VINO had obviously reasoned out the answer
inductyeiy from her own home experience, ek-
claimed with "A good deal OF confidence: please.
sir, IA the babyT'-(rit- Bits