The Wilmington daily Republican. (Wilmington, Del.) 1890-1902, 1897-02-20
EXECRABLE Laws.

Novorth6le1s bno lOoseneu ndr 6TipOn tn0
prisoners COLLAR, and he, squirming from
underneath her heavy hand, fed for ths
woods with the speed Of an antelope.
"The court Is forthwith adjourned, sine
die, announced Colonel Ben, rising from
his seat on the back porch steps.
The colonel had been called forth by
perfect storm of utilization that ragged
In the kitchen, which was built, In old
Virginia style, at considerable distance
from the mansion.
Checking his impulse to swear at the
cook and add fuel to the flames, a smile
stole over his weather beaten features.
The other members Of the family had
been drawn to the spot--Jerry, Thomas
and pretty Drusilla, who carried the keys
and spoke when she please" ....
They found the earthquake and wind.
storm In full blast. Tempe, the cook, was
framed in the doorway, brandishing o fry.
ing pan In one hand, with the other insert.
cd in the collar Of a long limbed, stumbling
youth, who was scuff1ing desperately to get
loose.
On they came, string Of both sexes
hands from the field who had come in to
dinner and were too much interested to
think Of food, all talking OF once.
The excited group struggled up to the
foot Of the steps, and there Colonel Ben
waved his hand
"Silence ALL
"Now, Tempe, you may have first go
and state your grievance, and then the
prisoner, whom / recognize as Eugene,
can defend himself"
Eyes, sir. ain guine tell no lie bout
1t. guine give you de facts what dis hyer
vilyun Ujeems done done and Billy dar-
Billy my witness.
Billy came to the front, and shifting his
weight upon the right leg, very proud Of
being placed in position to be 80 much
noticed, blinked like frog in the sun.
shine.
'Dish yer Ujeems he done stolt my huss.
buns pistol, which he done buy way out
yonder in Happystraw, crost DO sens in
New York, an pay his cash money for, an
moufharps ain good huff for Ujeems, an
he got to set hisself up wild corjeen,
which he solt dat.pistol my hussbun done
yearn dc cash money for SO he kin buy dat
corjoen, which Billy dar is my witness, an
de Lord In hebben know he cyarn play de
moufharp good as my little Sally Ann"
kin now!" from Eugene, who could
endure much, but not such insult as the
last.
"Don't interrupt, Eugene" said the
colonel. 1--WE will listen to you presently"
~ ain guine tell no lie bout it, !" cried
Tempe, beginning again. My hussbun's
pistol is stolt an solt for corjoen, which
dat Ujeems cyarn' grind mare chune out
ep, an Billy Is my witness, so hep me
Cord Amt dat So Billy"
Billy blinkod afiirmatively and stood
but the frmer on his right leg.
IAN dish yer Ujeems' gave
the prisoner shake which made his teeth
chatter-'he stolt my hussbun's pistol an
solt it, an he took an shoot dc African crow
often de top O. my Sunday bonnet. Me,
guine long do road to meetin house an
thinkin bout nuttin tall, and African
crow which my hussbnn gint So out de sto'
in Happystraw crorst de seas, whar he
wuk in dc brickyard to yearn de cash
money for to buy pistols, an he SO kind an
good lennin dat vilyun de pistol, de reason
he so gen'ous an kind he amt got no
house an land like ter folks is dis day"
Tempe was wound up like u clock and
kept right on with her injuries:
"An dish yer Ujeems face black as de
fryin pan call hisself high larnt an turn
up his rusty nose at my hussbun an say he
dun went thoo nine Guffey readers an a
whole endurin barrel Of books he dun buy
at cotton an dun read 'em all spang thoo,
an half 'em was Bibles. Dat so, BillyP'
Billy blinked his right eye.
NOW, he done stolt my hussbuns pis-
tol an shoot folks African crows off de-all's
bonnit which dat crow had red tail an yal-
Ter wings sorter sot up So" She placed
her arms akimbo. To do this sho was
obliged to loosen her grip on Eugene.
Then was his time to escape, but though
present in body the fatuous youth was alb
sent In mind
"Ain' dat SO, Billy"
Norm. One wing sot up mo- higher
dan de yuther wing said Billy
There was murmur among Temples
hackers at Billy's going back on her.
II gwine set de law on him, prison
him, Jail him." screamed the virago. De
law-de law! Prosecute him wild de law!
l gwine hab his blood ur his money !"
"That will do, Tempe. Now, Eugene
what have you to say to rebuff these
chargcsp" said the colonel.
II ain nuver know muffin bout no pis-
tol. ain lay my eye on no pistol" de-
clared Eugene. II never know Gable had
pistol. l kin prove it by Billy dar."
Billy shifted his weight to the other leg
and gazed in ruminatiye manner at the
trio of buzzards floating high up in the
blue.
A loud groan of disparagement rose
from the listeners, and Eugene saw he had
gone too far and made haste to weaken
his statement
"Fo' Cord an de angels de old rotten
pistol was broke whenst Gable lont it to
me- an Billy dar know it, an whenst l
turned 1t back to Gable de pistol was in
good order, an kin prove it by Billy dar. "
Billy stood now on the left leg and nod
ded affirmation.
IAN dat'sa pine blank lie, bout Icyarn'
play moufharp good as her Sally Ann, an
Billy dar he my witness. Sally Ann cyarn'
play no mon muffin"
"Ill mash your mout with dis fryin
pan, belittlin my Sally Ann" screamed
the enraged Tempe. ~ gwine by de law
de lawl"
"Stop, Tempe" said the colonel. "Eu-
gene admits that your husband lent him
dangerous weapon, and he being under
age, the law of Virginia, in handling the
crime of malicious assault upon private
property, includes your husband as parti-
ceps criminis, and II Eugene goes to jail
Gabriel will go with him, Eugene being
an infant in the eyes Of the law"
Great Lord in hebben Dish yer thing
yer calls law ain got no sense in it!' yell
cd Tempe.
Again she loosened her grip on the pris-
oner's collar, and he fed to the woods at
breakneck speed, while the colonel remark
ed pensively: well, we have had free
show Tempe there is out of bonnet, Ga
briel is out of pistol, and I am out of q
fine hoe hand, for he'll never come back
any more for fear Of a spider in his dump
ling DE. NJ. de Jarnette In New Or
leans Times Democrat.