Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-07-15
Sgz!zz2g&z =
E|D}b

hack the presents | promised YOU
Sketch
Mr. Ipstein-Does dot novel end up
/, sad or odervise? Mrs. Ipstein-lt ends
\ fine! EferybOdy gets rich in der last
chapter.-Puck.
81 awoke TO find the house full of
smoke" "Gmcous And You didn't
lose your heady" No; held my nose"
Detroit journal.
arthur, dear, have you spoken with
father about our engagement| II
can't find him anywhere-he owes me
some mOney."-EX.
Dibman-Did your watch stop when
you dropped tt on the foor9 Maglpy-
OF course it did Did you think it would
20 through ?-Tit-Bits.
Minor POet-Ah, how do? Did you
get my book l sent You Yesterday?
Hostess-Delightful | couldn't sleep
till I'd read it!-Punch.
He (sympathizing with his bride. who
has just been stung)-How intelligent
was that bee, my dear. to know that
we're on our honeymoon!-Judy.
Gadzooks-The Greeks might have
saved themselves by a rapid advance.
ZOunds-They seemed to think they
could save themselves better by a rapid
retreat.
Teacher (angrily)-Why don't you an
swer my question, Bobby?' His Brother
Tommy answering for him)-PleaSp.
sir, he's got peppermint in his speech.
-Tit-Bits.
Reporter-That fellow who wanted
his name kept out Of the paper called in
today. Oh, he was mad! Editor-What
about? Reporter-It seems we kept it
out.-TitBits.
How is this, count. they say the
stone in this ring you gave me is imi-
tatiOn| "Oh. like enough. | never
was very strong in mineralOgy."-Hu-
mOrlstische Batter.
The Wife-l think we ought to have
daughters voice cultivated. John. if it
doesn't cost too much. The Husband
1t can't cost too much. my dear, if it
will improve it any-Puck.
Half the world sagely observed Mr..
BilluS, never knows what the other
half is doing" That's generally true"
retorted Mrs. Billus, eying him sharp
ly, ''as to the better half" Chicago
Tribune.
Fuddy-You call money Stamps"
don't you? Duddy-Yes. Fuddy-And
money is currency. So suppose that
when you speak of an elastic currency
you refer to rubber stamps.-Boston
Transcript.
she-How funny that you should be
Presbyterian, while your wife is an
HiscOpalian! He-What makes you
think she is an Episcopalian? She
Didn't You say she was confirmed in
valid?-New York Press.
"McGibbs is a contemplate creature"
I'm what particular wayT We'll. he is
the kind of man who would send anoth-
er man Sunday newspaper without
'iit ui NHIHS ~
read Times-Herald.
Good ldea.-MrS. TenspOt-Isn't it
odd that the encOles are always much
more enjoyable than the regular num-
bers on the program? Mr.. TenspOt-
Yes, it is. | wonder why they don't
sing the encores first Judge.
You want to marry my daughter,
eh:' said the practical man: "we..,
what provision have you made for THE
luture" "Oh. as to that" repDied the
sultor, I'll join the church right away
Philadelphia North American.
"How still they are" remarked Mrs.
fosg, apropos of the young couple in
the next room. Yes" replied Mr.. F..
1T reminds me of my army days. 1t
was always wonderfully quiet just pre-
vious to an engagement.'-BOstOn
Transcript.
At the Intelligence Office.-"Have You
any cooks that weigh 200 pounds?"
Goodness! What. do you want with
such big one?" We'll. we would like
one that won't be always trying to ride
my wife's wheel on the sly."-Detroi;
Free Press.
You may talk as you like" said
solid citizen, but there was one good
thing about the g.adiatorial fights e..
oden times" What was thaty' IT. -
loser never had chance to talk to the
papers and explain why he lost. ."-BOs-
ton Herald.
Say" remarked the war editor, II
don't see how Turkey ever got her
forces transported into Greece, do
you" Certainly" replied the political
edttor; ''she got hold of all the passes.
ASK me something hard."-Cincinnati
Commercial Tribune.