The Cecil Whig. [volume] (Elkton, Md.) 1841-current, 1897-01-30
THE EDITORS CHAIR.

We individually agreed to do so, though,
considering our age, we ought to have
known better.
Charles Kerler, Jr., hadn't been gone
ten minutes until the devil came into the
sanctum with yard Of copy and wanted
to know what "them pot hooks meant.
There was an evil CLEAN in the young
mans eye as he pointed the finger of scorn
at sundry and various hieroglyphics.
whats that stuff intended for, any,
how? Does the editor think Pm an anti
quarian? Does he imagine that I can
glibly decipher the inscriptions on the
tombs of the Pharaohs?"
We took the copy and examined it care
fully and laboriously. We turned it east,
west, north and south We looked at it
sideways and lengthwise. We turned it
upside down. We squinted at it across the
corners, and finally managed to grasp its
meaning.
Commencing with July 4, 1899, we wish
to inform the public that we are going to
increase our devils salary indefinitely"
"Bully Tor the editor" shouted the devil
as he rushed to his case and pi,l sticl; of
matter. cts easy enough when you know
| how
We once more resumed our heavy edi-
toral, though we felt greatly exhausted.
"The protoplastic theory of consequent
TALLY inextrcably pro"
"Say, want the paper stopped"
She looked real indignant as she bounced
into our sacred presence and glared at us
ferociously. 81 visited my grandmother
in Cokeville yesterday and you didn't say
a word about it. Don't send me your
measly paper any more, won't have it.
/ How much do owe you?'
Seventeen cents. Thanks. Here's a
receipt. And now, madam, we want to
tell you something. The fate of the
Courier trembles in the balance. You
refusal to take it any longer will probably
cause its downfall, but Wen do the best
we can to save it. We didn't know you
were in Cokeville yesterday and we were
not aware that you had grandmother.
We hope the old lady is well. You ought
to have seven grandmothers so that you
could visit one each day in the week.
Next time you 90 to Cokeville come up
here and tell us and we'll mention it in
the paper and put border around it and
print it in red. That's what well do.
madam. The fact is, you're too handsome
a woman to get mad"
Our final words touched her heart, and
she at once renewed her substitution two
years IN advance. But we want to say
right here that although we have seen
homelier women we don't know when or
where.
GAS we were saving, the protoplastic
theory philosophi--'
"Say, young fellow, where's the editor?"
He tore into the sanctum like a roaring
lion. He was six feet tall, he wore cow
hide boots, and he hourished a long whip.
And he had copy of the Courier" in his
hand.
"My dear sir, the editor is not in. He's
out of town"
'Say, what are you giving me? That's
always the story. If there's a licking in
sight, the EDITORS always out. l want to
know what this item means My name is
John Smith.
We sized him up at once and saw that
he meant business.
"Mr. Smith, you're not the man referred
to. The editor alluded to another John
Smith, who died since the item appeared. y
'You don't say. Pretty good story, but
| believe its a burned lie. Where is the
EDITOR"
And he scowled savagely at us and
tiercely cracked the whip.
'Mr Smith, as we have previously
stated, the editor is away, We don t
know where he is, nor how long he will be
gone. If you want to see him, you'll have
to wait until he comes back"
''Say, young fellow, what are you giving
me? Do you know what think? I'll be
blamed if don't believe you're the editor
yourself, and Tve a notion to make you
sweat for this item"
"Mr. Smith, do | look like an editor?
Do you see any evidences of love, admira-
tion and esteem lying promiscuously aroung
here? Any turkeys, ducks, apples, or
bottled luxuries? Are these indications OF
the affectionate subscriber with me? Nay,
nay, Brother Smith, Pm not the editor
We're not one and the same. We are here
and he is there, or elsewhere. Comprehen-
sion is"
But he had fled; and peace once more
reigned, and the office coon climbed non.
chalantly into our lap and smeared our
shirt with quarter section of the ink keg.
The life of the printer surely has its COM
pensations. In comparison with the hard
ships of the EDITORS lot, it is a continual
picnic, with happiness constantly on
draught. Ambitious typos who aspire to
the editorial tripod should bear this fact in
mind.-Press and Printer.
n