davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
/" If a straw can tickle a man,
1t is an instrument Of happiness. Dryden.

We when you was plain Pete Carrin'ton
stead of p. Ellin'ton Carrin'ton Es-
quire. / kin indemnify you il We can't
indemnify me. Member that day
when they had your pa up for stealn
wood. and me and you and Sam Piper
chunked the constable with seed per-
taters? Member how yer ma used to
lock you up on Saturdays when she
used to go out to do the section gangs
washin' and you"
1T is all right, Mr.. Crowder," said
the cashier, turning little red on his
smoothly shaven cheeks; Il did not
recognize you at first. 1t has been a
good many years since l have seen you.
Step over to the teller's window, and
your check will be paid"
In minute" said the old farmer,
beaming with pleasure as he reached
the scenes of his youth. why, I
could ov Unidentified you if I'd a
met we in Afriky. You never could
look feller straight in the face, and
you've got that scar on your ear yet
that old man Phipps gave we when he
caught We tryin' to steal his best tur-
key"
eyes, yes,' said the cashier, hur-
riedly, as he stirred things about on
his desk and frowned deeply at some
old envelopes; those old times-yes,
neutrality-suspicious. days, childish
sports, and all that sort of thing, to be
sure-quite SO, indeed. The teller is
waiting to pay your check
I'm goin' in a minute. Why, talk
about indemnifying Pete Carrin' ton,
you want to hear me do it. Now 1
bet you don't member that day
when"
You'll have to excuse me Mr.. Crow
DER" said the cashier, prancing up and
down in his cage and pretending to be
looking for something, Il am very
busy to-day"
Eyes, I'll excuse you," said the old
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

eight or tendeep, miners, cowboys and
all that rough element usually found in
that territory, waiting to get a good
seat for an admission. The curtain
rose, and little Irishman I had play
ing the part of the servant had just
commenced his opening speech-'Six
O'Clock and master not home or some
thing of that sort, when the entire moo
at the back started down the aisle with
a rush for the vacant seats. He looked
up, saw them coming pell-mell toward
the stage, gave one yell and fairly flew
Off the stage, thinking they were to do
him some bodily harm, and was out of
sight in minute
The play went on, but it was some
time before we found the Irishman
way down behind pile of scenery. He
hnlshed the performance but he was
badly scared all the same"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
THOUGHT THEY WERE AFTER HIM.

Mckee Rankin was telling New
York newspaper man about the worst
case of stage fright he ever saw 1t
was in Colorado mining town He
said: I'VE were playing some piece or
another in which the servant is discov-
cred busting the furniture, etc. Well,
/ discovered afterward that it was a
custom for all persons who had no re-
served seats to take any vacant chair
the minute the curtain went up.
ION this night in question the body
of the house was partly filled, while
back Of the rail there were standing
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

farmer, leaning his elbows on the win
dow. 81 jest wanted to see how good
| could indemnify you if | tried.
Guess you find this kind ov work easier
than peddlin' fertilizer in an OK cart,
like you did the year your uncle Dick
got mixed up in that train-robbery,
don't you?"
The cashier left his desk suddenly
with an looking batch of
papers in his hand and walked back to
the private Office. The old man
stumped over to the teller again ana
handed his check between the bars.
Pete says We can pay it," he said
"Mr. P. Clinton Carrin tons indemni-
fed me, and I've Unidentified Pete
could go on indemnifyin' him for two
hours and a half if | wanted to, clean
on down to the time he left Cedar
Creek with that Punch and Judy show.
Gimme five ov it in silver"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
A QUICK-WITTED WAITRESS,

A specimen of clever wit was given
by a waitress in Winter street res
taurant the other day, says the Boston
Herald"
A middle-aged woman entered the
place, and taking seat at the counter,
carefully scrutinized the bill of fare.
She concluded to try an order of ice
cream pudding at sc. plate. After it
had been served she looked it over
carefully, and calling the waitress
back, said:
DO you call this ice cream pudding?"
Yessum,~a it's very nice, too
But where is the ice cream?"
oh, that's only the name given
that peculiar make of pudding: we are
making drive on it. I'm sure you'll
like it when you taste it."
1T seems to me that you ought to
give ice cream with it as long as you
call it ice cream pudding
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
GETTING HIS MONEYS WORTH.

Not seldom in Highland districts the
attendance at church during unpro-
pitious weather Is but scanty, One
minister, says Household Words, .
finding himself on boisterous Sunday
confronted with but one solitary aud
itor, who happened to be gruff, out
spoken character, took him into his
confidence, with view to propitiate
him. "Will I go on with the sermon,
John?" John, gruffly: "Of course"
Getting into the pulpit. and leaning
over it, he asked: will I give you the
Gaelic sermon or the English one?"
John, more gruffly still: Giles bath;
ye're weel paid for IT,
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
PATS TRIPLE STYLE IN EGGS.

A State street restaurant carries be-
side the doorway a board which says
that three eggs will be served Gin any
style" for 10c, says the Chicabo Record.
1t is said that man bringing with
him a trace of Irish brogue came into
the place the other day and called the
waiter over to him.
"Three eggs for 10c?" he asked
"That's right"
amy style?"
amy style"
"Well, I'll have one fried, one boiled
and one poached, and hurry them up"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

"'Sew the ends together. On retir-
ing put the band over the ears from
the back of the neck to the forehead.
Continue the use of the band until the
ears lie back properly. You will find
this the easiest and best method in the
world for shaping ugly ears
When the ribbon-counter boarder fin
ished and looked up he caught glimpse
of Miss Ricketts, disappearing form as
it rushed out of the room and upstairs.
With satisfied smile he folded the clip
ping up, put it in his vest pocket, with
the observation.
Now l am even with her for her re-
marks about my red hair"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
UP TO HIS ANKLES.

Two Irishmen recently were crossing
Mariinstown bog, on their way to mar
ket, when one of them, Mick, slipped
and fell into big hole, says Answers. F"
Pat, his mate, Immediately ran to the
nearest farm house, and, meeting the
farmer asked for the lean of a spade.
what 90 yer want the spade for?"
asked the farmer.
"Mick is stuck in the bog" said Pat,
land l want to dig him out"
How far has he sunk?" queried the
farmer
up to his ankles" said Pat.
"Begone," said the farmer; sure he
can aisy walk out"
"Begorra," said Pat, che can't. for
he's in head first"
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
I and ruler Of the winds; have divorced

and ruler OF the winds; have divorced
her"
What Great heavens, man.
didn't mean anything of that kind"
Calm yourself, lord of the west, 1t
is nothing. You are master. Your
word is law. You pay well and dc
nothing but stand in the SUM- Not
one nor 500 wives could come between
me and such ease. Besides, have
married her already three years. 1t
is done, have divorced her, and to-day
if your smile light upon me and give
me the afternoon, marry o woman
dumb since her birth.
The Philosopher said the only moral
to his story was the information that
Cairo can be reached in about fifteen
days. :.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

THE PROFESSORS NIGHTMARE
Such a Terrible Dream 1t Made
Look Ill.

Such a Terrible Dream 1t Made
Look Ill.
There were great rings undel
eyes of the president OF the univ
His cheeks were pallid and
were dry and cracked.
His expression was h2S
every now and then his
twitched nervously as hid
glanced furtively back OF
You look H. said h
anything wrong, dear?"
NO" replied the president
university. Nothing much. my kr.
Butt had a feaful dream last
night and feel this morning ~ IL |
as if r. Here his mind xander-
ed off. II was eyid~Hsa his nervous
system was shattered
What was the dream?" asked his
wife soothingly.
Il dreamt the trustees required
tnat--that / should-that ] should pass
the freshmen examination for-ad-
mission" sighed the president. --Har-
pers Bazaar.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
A WARNING TO wHEHlXEN.

Charles F. Wingate, the well-kpown
hygienist, says that all bicyclists sMNlld
be warned of the danger of drinking
from wayside wells, pumps or springA,
when making trips through the country.
The chance OF contamination by sewage
is much more serious than most riders
are apt to imagine, and typhoid fever.
and in some cases death, has followed,
on the drinking of water on wheeling
trip. A person accustomed to 1t may
drink a certain water which will abso-
lutely poison a stranger. When away
from home, drink bottled mineral wa
tiers. and be safe.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
DISABLED HIM

I'VE don't give cottages with cot
tage pudding" quickly replied the wit
ty waitress, which threw the middle
aged woman into convulsion of laugh
ter and she ordered a second plate.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
CROOKEDNESS SOMEWHERE.

Il don't understand how bigger geta|
his poems into the magazines. He msA1
have a strong pull somewhere.
why? Aren't they any good?"
That's just the point. Every poem
he writes actually means something. -
Chicago News.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

Racket hear you have 10
standing in the church? Trd
Yes, but I'm all right as far
standing In the street cars is cort
ed.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

First Old Sodier-There's something
familiar about that woman's, face. Sec
ond Old Soldier-That's so. i guess i'll
powder.
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21

Assistant Librarian-Where/
put this book. "Impressi m q
by an Englishman ~
the fiction departing
Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-11-21
A Page for the Man Who Laugf}9(

ment, and in the confusion Georg
made his escape.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03
CAR COUPLER LAW CASE.
Arguments on Behalf of Other Roads
Heard by the Commission.

Washington, Dec. 2.-The hearing given
by the United States interstate commerce
commission TO the representatives of the
railroads who have petitioned for an ex
tension of the time in which to comply
with the car coupler law passed in 1895
was resumed to-day.
William Brown, general solicitor of the
Chicago and Alton railroad. REPLIED at
some length to the protest made by Mr.
Norrlssey against any extension to roads
Whlch had made no effort to comply with
the law. he spoke, he said for the stock
holders OF the railway, who were as much
emitted to receive their dividends as the
laporefs working for the companies were
TO receive their daily wages On behalf of
0VO OF the employees of his road, Mr. Brown
also presented to the commission a petition
Tor reasonable extension. 1t was a prac-
tlcal and physical impossiblity, he said, 10
comply with the law. To grant a reason
able extension would bring every road, es-
Eeclally trunk lines, into active sympathy
with the law; to refuse would be to punish
those who had complied
Representatives of other delinquent roads
rendered their excuses to the commission
and in each instance estimated the time
required for the equipment of their in
dividual lines.
All united, however in the request of
Mr.. CoWen for a general extension. Lack
OF FUNDS, reduced earnings, want of cheap
facilities and the difficulty of determining
the safest and most economical appli-
ances were the main reasons advanced
by the delinquents
At the afternoon session, President Smith
OF the Louisville and Nashville road in
the course of his explanation of the de-
hnquency of his road, expressed the opin-
ion that the time was coming when the
people of this country would demand the
cont1scation and government ownership of
railroads. In connection with his argu-
ment President Smith presented a petit
ton in favor of an extension, signed by
2,Sn employees. Several vouminous petit
tons signed by shippers in all parts of
the south We're also presented.
While President Thomas of the Nash
vile, Chattanooga and st. Louis railroad
was addressing the commission, Chairman
Morrison asked what the road would do
in the matter of compliance with the law
if their earnings did not increase.
Mr.. Thomas created much merriment by
replying that his confidence in coming
prosperity has been so great that he had
broken the record of a lifetime and had
voted for Mckinley. when a southern
man does that" he said, his faith is alb
solute."
Questions asked by the commissioners
developed the fact that ten per cent. of
the freight cars now in service were not
worth equipment. These cars would be
retired during the period of extension.
The hearing was at o'clock adjourned
until tomorrow.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03
ANNEXATION OF HAWAII,
Senators Stewart and Gray Express
Opposite Opinions.

Washington, Dec. 2.-Senator Stewart of
Nevada, who arrived in Washington to-
day, says the people of the Pacific coast
favor the ratification of the Hawaiian an
neXation treaty He expressed the opinion
that the treaty would not consume a great
deal of the time in the Senate
Senator Gray, who is a member of the
committee on foreign relations, said in re-
ply to a question. that he thought there
would be considerable delay in disposing
of the treaty as many questions are in
volved which will require careful consid-
Grafton.
Senator Allison, who arrived in the city
tonight for the congressional session
said in an interview: There will be a de-
termined opposition in the Senate to the
annexation of Hawaii, and it will come
from men whose ability is not to be gain
said"
The senator says Hawaii will be taken
up before Cuba, if Cuba is discussed at
all; that he is willing to follow the Presi-
dents lead in the Cuban matter; that
practical currency legislation is impossi-
BILE in the Senate, and that the appropria-
ton will be kept down to the lowest
point"
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03
SCHROEDER TO RESIGN.
The PapnI Authorities 10 Put an End
to the Friction.

Washington, Dec. 2-The purposes of
Schroeder of the Catholic University have
been known to the Catholic authorities In
this country The Information has not
come in any official form, but is said to
be none the less definite, and is in posses
sion of Cardinal Gibbons, chancellor Of the
Catholic University, and Mgr Martinelli,
the papaI delegate The latter will say
only that he has no official information.
1t is understood that the vatican neith-
er will approve nor disapprove the action
of the board of directors of the Catholic
University as it felt that such approval or
disapprovaI would lead to further irrita
ton and scandal IL has been deemed best
to close the whole controversy as speedily
as possible and without formal orders from
Rome, which would humiiate one side or
the other. The main desire, it Is said, has
been to accomplish results with the least
possible outward agitation. To that end
an understanding has been reached that
Monsgnor Schroeder will resign within the
present scholastic year, and probably az
an early day. The resignation will be ac
cepted.
Monsignor Schroeder gave assurances to
the university board that he would resign
if the pope permitted him to do so, and no
further doubt exists as to this permission
being given. This conclusion has doubt
less been brought about i'm large part by
letter Mgr. Schroeder recently addressed
TO Rome. In this he reviewed the course
of the persons making the charges against
him and he said 1t had inspired in him
such deep adherence of the methods
employed that under no circumstances
would he return TO the university except
on the positive command Of the pope
Cardinal Gibbons said to a reporter of
the Associated Press tonight that he had
nothing to communicate to the press re-
garding the matter. As chancellor of the
Catholic University it is very probable
that the decision of the pope viii be for
warded to his eminence, but he intimated
that nothing had been received up to a
late hour tonight.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03
DEATH IN A STREET DUEL.
BULLETS PUT INTO TWO BROTHERs
IN SUCCESSION.

One of the Pair Killed Outright by "A
Bullet in His Heart and the other
MOrtany wounded by n Bullet i'm
His Head-The Dead Man n Prnc-
ticing Physician and His Brother n
Prominent business Man-Thc
slayer Also "a Man of Wealth.
Nashville, Ark, Dec. "details Of a ter
rible street duel at Horatio, in which one
man was killed outright and another ia
tally wounded, reached here to-day.
The dead man is DR.. Smith, a promi-
nent practicing physician of that place,
and the man thought to be fatally wound
ed is ]. J. Smith, a prominent business
man of Horiatio, and a brother of the
dead doctor.
The killing was done by w. w Millwee,
also of Horatio, one of the wealthiest men
in the town, and a man noted for his
fearessnoss and bravery.
The tragedy was the elimination of a
feud of long standing and owing to the
prominence of the parties, it is believed
that the feud Will be continued by some
of their numerous friends and adherents,
and that more blood will be spilled before
the affair Is settled.
Mllwee and DIR. Smith Were mortal enc
mics, and they threatened to kill each 9TH
er at sight. Friends for a time prevented
a meeting between the two men as they
felt certain that guns would be used, but
they We're not prepared for the fearful
tragedy which occurred.
Mllwee and DIR. Smith met in front of
the Locke hotel DR. Smith was just
emerging from the front door of the hotel
as Millwee was crossing the street coming
in that direction. Both ben quickly drew
their weapons and opened fire almost
simultaneously. Several shots were eX-
changed, DIR. Smith receiving a wound in
the left arm at Millwee's first shot He
continued the battle, however, and only
gave up the contest when he sank to the
ground Aead with a bullet through his
heart.
J. ]. Smith came to his brothers as
sistance just as the fatal bullet was fired
and drew his own pistol to fire on Milwee.
His weapon snapped, however, and Mill
wee, turning his attention to the brother,
sent a bullet crashing into his head. That
ended the battle for the time being, but
there is much excitement over the terrible
affair.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03

CUTS HIS WIFE AND CHILDREN.
Cruelty of a Charcoal Burner May BE
Followed by LynchIng.

Wilmington, Del, Dec. "A special
from Milford, Del. says that Sam Bider-
back, a charC Il burner, attempted to
annihilate his family last night
Biderback returned to his cabin about 10
o'clock and said to his wife: II have just
learned to use the kind of sword that the
Cubans use, now L want all of you to
stand up"
In order to humor him, she and the
children arose, when he tied their hands
with piece of a oerd. which he fastened
to rafters. Obtaining a corn knife which
he found in the adjoining room he COM
menced TO cut his family and inflicted
some dreadful wounds.
Before he could complete his fiendish
work his son came home. Bilderback, be-
coming alarmed, seized his army musket,
ran out doors and fled to the woods
The son summoned a physician and no.
tilted the neighbors A posse was quick
ly ordered and search for the assail-
ant was begun. but as yet Bilderback
has not been found. The villagers threat
en- to lynch him if he is found
The condition of Mrs. Bilderback and
the children is seriOusJi lil
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03

their experience. Reader, It is your turn now
Mrs. F. a. Howard, Decatur, Ala,
thanks sooner for my cure of a bad case
of Rheumatism. l was constant suf-
ferer for years; could get no relief until
i used Munyon's rheumatism Cure. NV
niece, living with me until recently, be-
ieVed that she had Consumption and
upon her return to Kansas stated that
she never expected 10 see me again be-
lieved her disease to be Rheumatism of
the chest. and actually forced her to take
Munyon's Rheumatism Cure Now she
writes that all her lung trouble has dis
appeared. l keep the Munyon Remedies
In the house, have no need for a doctor,
ana my neighbors send for me in case of
sickness in preference to their regular
tainly a great boon to the suffering
Munyon has separate specific for each
disease. For sale by druggists, mostly IS
S sent bottle &c II in doubt, write to Prof
Munyon at Philadelphia, Pa, and get medical
advice free
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03
SALE OF THE KANSAS PACIFIC.
The Government Likely to Qualify
as n Bidder 80 ~

as Bidder. ~ ~
Washington, Dec 2-The government
has finally decided to qualify as a bidder
at the sale of the Kansas Pacific railroad
on Dec. 16 next, in case of the failure of
the reorganization committee to guarantee
the government what is regarded as a
fair and just figure for its interests.
Whether the President and the Attorney
General, however, win exact the fun
amount of the governments claim of APP
proximately El3,OO0OOO is not known. 1t
is learned that some days ago the reor-
ganization committee submitted a
proposition which was positive
ly declined. What the promo
sition was has not been made public. With
this exception no communications bearing
upon the subject have been made by either
party, nor does the government know what
the purpose or plans of the reorganization
committee are with reference to the sale
If no offer which would be regarded as
reasonable Is received prior to next Tues
day or Wednesday the government Will
qualify as bidder by depositing with the
court certified check for 100000, and so
be In position to protect It's interests
The sale under the consolidated mortgage
takes place on Dec. 15 and on the follow
ing day the sale under the governments
lien.
The morning news. [volume] (Savannah, Ga.) 1887-1900, 1897-12-03
---------s-@b-e-
IVES PARALYZES SUTTON,
The Champion Plays in Most Bril-
liant Form.

liant Form.
New York, Dec. 2.-Frank. c. Ives was
pitted against George Sutton to-day in
the sixth game of the billiard tournament
at Madison Square Garden concert hall.
He played in brilliant form and had scor-
ed his 800 points while Sutton was roll
ing up 40. The champions highest run
was 40 in the fifth inning. On the other
hand, the Canadian played poorly He
was nervous, and only in two innings man.
aged to reach the score of 80. BY run
ming $40 Ives broke the record, his score
being % higher than that made by Schae-
fer at Chicago last May in his contest
with Daily, the first time the game was
played in this country. Score:
Ives, 9, 20, IS, 81, 140. l, 2, %, 8,
9, 40, 10. 2, So. %, $500.
Sutton-7, o. 10, 30, 1, 10, 9, 2, g. 80,
4, Q, s, "A, 0, 0-14O.
Averages-Ives, 31A; Sutton, 91a. Time
of game, hours, minutes.
Jacob Schaefer and George Slosson, each
with two games to his credit, were the
contestants in the deciding game of the
tournament as far as they were con-
cerned, tonight. The score follows:
Slosson. 800; Schaefer 266.
Averag es-Slosson. p S-41; Schaefer, s
2O-4. Highest Runs-Slosson, 81; Schae-
fer, &c.