New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1897-04-04
GRIDIRON CLUB JOKES.
HOW THE WASHINGTON NEWSPAPER MEN
HAVE FUN WITH THEIR DIsTIN-
GUISHED GUESTS
From The Washington Times.


From The Washington Times.
A special feature Of the evening was the spectac.
ular restoration OF prosperity. After the distin-
SiseussioH Of the meloW Vintage of he Widow
Cllquot the orchestra suddenly struck up the Mar
was red republican song, but il served 10 intro.
duce TO the company member OF the club arrayed
siding officers chair and demanded the gavei The
president asserted that there was no occasion for
ira ton had been given vote Of confidence and Ills
policy indorsed;, This yelled reference to the ap-
dorsement by the election Of Mckinley was received
But Mr. President, where do in?' said
"oh, you don't come in at all. as I can see," said
Some sharp colioquy followed and finally the
ducks for awhile. and If the newcomer wanted to
try his hand for time at presiding S ne was no.
like the job ana don't think you Will succeed.
The imitation Napoleon then took the chair and
ordered the immediate restoration Of prosperity.
Henry L. West, in the capacity Of Secretary Porter.
largest pie ever baked in Washington, perhaps in
the United States, II was four feet In diameter
q which taxed to the The ovens es Of
dressed as a porter, drew big. butchers c.eaver
and essayed to divide the prodiSious PIE among the
The proper functionary he being only a clerk. and
said that the pie should properly be distributed ey
that great leader. senator iidHId "Ietedl lheio
was great applause.
Senator Hanna promptly declined the prohered
task OF distributing this pie; and the representative
OF Secretary Porter announced that, as the most
competent man for the duty had declined TO dis
tribute H. the pie must be considered free-for-
all The result might have been anticipated. There
YVES rush for the Offices, as they say In the
newspapers. 4 small army OF ofice-seekers APP
peared on the scene, bearing banners. the legends
OF some of which were An office for every man
and a man for every office" Hanna Howlers
buckeye Pie Eaters" the prosperity Phalanx"
I'VE want pie and various other commentaries
on the text of the bill" 49,
This army advanced to the attack. seized the III:
eral and fgurative pie and tore Il to pieces amid
the applause OF those on the inside as 10 the sig
mica nee of this allegory. The temporary presiding
officer gave up the job OF seeing that the dstriou.
ton was fairly made when he found after the first
charge that there wasn't enough 10 go around ana
the president proper resumed the chair while the
hall rang with shouts Of laughter.
There was another incident OF equal signllcance
and entertainment. Some time after the parable
of the pie member of the club appeared, bearing
n huge scroll, entitled the "Dingley Tariff Bill
He proceeded the floor with his loaded docu'
ment. when he challenged
Where are you going? the MEMBER was asked.
81 am Just going to the Senate with my
tariff BILL" he replied, and went out the main door.
Instantly there arose without great commotion,
was In shreds his coat torn, and his hat was
battered into unacceptable shape, recalling
the condition of Stuart Robson after his first vslt
10 the Stock Exchange. The member simply Dut
eloquently reported back to the House MT.
Speaker 7 have been there"
These were only two OF the many ways In
which the Ciridironers gave object lessons in cur
rent politics, and the ways and means by which
country becomes great and stays great under any
and all circumstances.
There was something exquisitely and keenly sug-
gestive In the exhibition of a portrait or Senator
Hanna. inscribed: You can't lose me-"