New Ulm review. (New Ulm, Brown County, Minn.) 1892-1961, 1897-05-12
Tales Of Hul1lor.


noted for his resemblance to Apollo
has son of seven who possesses more
wit than reverence. One day a strange,
came to the farm, and, seeing the lad,
said: "Sonny, where's your father?" "In
the pig-pen," was the reply. In the
pig-pen? Thanks" And as the man
moved in the direction indicated the
boy shouted: II say! You'll know him,
cause he's got a hat on."-London It'd
Bits.
General Butler was once riding in a
Cambridge street car. He was busily
engaged in reading a book of unques-
toned legal appearances, when James
Russell Lowell, the critic, entered.
"Ab, General" was his greeting, care
you reading law?" "
"No,' was the reply. "Only Supreme
Court decisions ..z. ~
At another time General Butler was
pleading desperate case. The law and
the evidence were all against him, but
he was doing his best. Finally the
Judge interrupted him with: "Gen But
Ter, do you consider that that is law?"
"No, but I thought I would like to
see what your honor thought about it."
An Irishman hailing from Dublin, re-
Gently came across the Channel and en-
listed in line regiment.
One morning, when assembling on
parade for drill, Pat happened to fall, in
next to London recruit. On the order
''Double!" being given by the drill SER
geant, the cockney was heard to excla,m: :
"Oh, hang doublingv'
To which Pat immediately replied:
"And hang London, re spalpeen p
London Answers. ....s
When the Tenth Hussars were sta
toned at Beggars' Bush barracks, Dub
lin, very old woman invariably await
ed the outcoming of the colonel and his
wife, both of whom had been very kind
to her. One morning, at the accustomed
hour, the old woman began:
"Agh! me lady, success to yer lady
ship, and to yer honor's honor this day
of all the days in the year! shure, didn't
I drahme last night that her ladyship
gemmc pound O. tay and yer honor
gemme pound Of tobacco"
"But, my good woman" said the col
onel, edo you not know that dreams al.
ways go by the rule of contrary2"
"Do they?' rejoined the old woman
'then it's yer honor that's to gemme the
tay an her. ladyship the tobacco.-scot-
fish Nights.
A lady had been i'll and under medi-
cal treatment for long time. As she
grew no better all the while, she became
dlstrustful of her physicians skill and
did not wish to see him, and yet was
not bold enough to tell him so. She
communicated her state of mind to her
maid. 90. 81
"L'ave i'm to me, mum, Pave i'm to
me!' said the girl.
By and by the doctor came to the door,
and Bridget opened it about an inch.
"sorry, SIR said she, "but ye can't
come in today, DOCTOR"
"Can't come in9 How's that?''
"The mistress do be too ill for to see
ye this day, ir.''-London It'd Bits.
Good advice was that which Talmage
gave to company of young preachers
SNAKE point inside of 80 minutes and
sit down; if you don't M axe point, sit
down anyhow" Said Beecher: ''When
see man asleep, do not think of send.
ing a boy to waken him up; know the
boy needs to come and wake me up
S aid the Scotchman to the travelling
preacher: "a didna like your sermon
for three reasons. First, ye read it; sec
ond, ye dldna read it we'll; third, it wa:
ma worth the readin' at ALL"
AS he sat alone in the freight he helc
in his hand an old, old letter, all stained
and yellow with age, and seemed hest
tating whether or not he should ccnsigl
it to the flames.
The writing was in a delicate, girlisl
hand-a hand that he knew, ali, how
well!
Az he gazed at the once dainty ane
fragrant missive, lnemories Of happy day
long dead thronged his brain and mis-
came before his eyes.
4 He remembered the day he received
that letter long, long ago. It was