davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

"Mean! Why, he lives in the suburbs
and has made complaint to the au,
thorities to prevent cyclists from pump.
ing the pure air of the place into pneu-
matte tires"
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Pia0iariatic.

Howsoe-How did you like the doc
tors sermon this morning?
Comsoe-First rate. I always liked
that sermon.-New York Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
SUPPOSE WE SMILE.
HUMOROUS PARAGRAPHS FROM
THE COMIC PAPERS.

Pleasant Incidents Occurring the
World Over-Sayings that Are Cheer
full TO Old or YounE-Funny seIec-
tions that Everybody Will Enjoy.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
No Wonder

Tired Treadwell-No wonder dat
Rome fell.
Ole Sox-What makes you say dem
observations?
Tired TreadWell-I've jist been read
in about de history OBJ dem guys. Why,
say, all dey done was take baths!-
Cleveland Leader.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Reserved.

George just saw you coming from
the conservatory with Miss Goldie.
Rather handsome girl, but too reserved
for me.
Thomas-Yes; just reserved her for
life.-Cincinnati Enquirer.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

The nut and bolt trust, which has
been hanging together by a mere
thread, as it were. has at last gone TO
pieces.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
III the still Night.

Bowers-Livewell has grown so stout
that his wife has put three VS. in his
trousers.
Powers-I must be growing thin,
then, for my wife always takes them
out.-New York Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

milton. It's the sudden thaw that wOr-
ries the other fellows.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

Farmers are hunting wolves in the
suburbs Of Chicago. Why don't they
move right down Clark street?
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

Ministers wives are to be pitted;
they can't tell their husbands what
good men their ministers are.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

Priscilla-He got Charlie Haswell to
ask me how old 1 was when 1 went to
college, and then he asked ME himself
in what year I graduated.-New York
Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Both Unpaid.
Plain Dealer.

The bills l owed in bygone years
Seem like q mist, it's true;
And there is not much difference now,
For present ones are dew.
New York Tribune.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

There is one thing about a dollar:
you can always trade it. But some
times you can't give horse or house
away
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Not a New Woman,

What makes Miss Learnly so COM
bative? Is she a new woman battling
for the rights Of her sex?'
mo; just principal in one%of our
schools. Detroit Free Press.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Too Much for Him.

Daughter-George says he fears he
can't support me in the style I'm ac-
customed to.
Father-Marry him anyhow. l can't
keep it up much longer myself.-Town
Topics
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
DON'T Speak Nnw.

Mr.. C.-She was very graceful fig
ure.
Mrs. (Which is due to- gthe arts of a
Skillful dreSsmaker
Mr.. C.-Er-why don't you give her a
trial?-Fun.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
The CIronic BacheIor.

The Giddy Young Thing-What Is
that prOverb about there being no mar
rying in heaven?
The Chronic Bachelor-Fools rush in
where angels fear to tread.-Indianap
oils Journal.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

ACKNOWLEDGMENT do you think Of dis
big turkey?
Elizabeth wuz jest thinkin' wot er
awful stumick ache the man oil have
WOt eats il.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15

Mr. Carnegie. it appears, has iron to
burn
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Two and Two.

Priscilla-He's the meanest man l
know.
LeOla-What has he done?
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
stractedly.

said.
''That's plain enough" he replied lab
stractedly.
Then it took him three hours to ex-
plain what he meant.-AnsWers.
The Winslow mail., 1897-05-15
Meaning Not So Plain.

"My face is my fortune, SIR" 81
Il l.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26
DIR. McCOY'S RECORD.
The Six Years of Preparatlon.

Matric'ilant at University Of New York ......is7e
First honor man In his class. ..............1S1 1879
Winner Of famous Looln:s prize February 1879
Candidate for Bellevue Hospital appoint
iieht. -.......--.-... March. 1873
the doctors Of the world. residen, physician of
During service at Bellevue elected visiting ply
stefan 10 training school for nurses. APRIL 1850
Served as Resident physician to Bellevue ISL? $50
Study in hospitals Of London and Dublin. ISL
Formulation Of regular treatment for chronic trn-
bies as result OF hospital experience. ......1SS2
Formulation OF regular treatment for the cure Of
catarrhal. bronchial and lung diseases. .lss3
Announcement OF Dr. McCoy's frs; Introduced
voluntarily by well Known journalists. with pic
lures and Interviews OF patients cured April. 1884
Doctor Mccoy treating Thousand patients a
Hi"hta-- OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES. lSS3
Extension OF Office facilities by employment Of
stud nts from Beiierue. --.-.... 800. .1sS3-lSsG
The second visit to Europe for further hospital
Study and Inspection.
Serving in the laboratories OF Prof. Koch at Fer
III .. ..-.....--...-........ lS:W
Study in Charitie Hospital Of Berlin and ROYAL
Clinic under Won Bergman. ..........-....1s9 1891
Formulation OF a system OF medicine based on the
discovery of poison In the blood the origin Of
uiee'ise' .-.-...----------...- l~1
The system perfected by application and expert
Insnt in cases selected from Dr. McCoy's prac-
oce.. -.--..--.--------..---.. lSHS
The world startled by DIR. McCoy's Discovery 81 q
cure for DEAFNESS. September. 1895
Location OF permanent national practice in Wash
i1gton. ............--......-..-- March Is. 1895
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26
DR.. Mccoy
Gives FOR
The SUMMER
The Uniform $3Rate Orig
inal in His Practice.
And Extends 1t So That II
Applies to All Patients
and All Diseases.

This announcement OF the AZ rnte
for the summer applies not only 10
satarrh. hut to MI diseases. Its
especial appropri.tcness for dis
eascs of n Catarrhal MIXTURE lies I'm
these facts: All those diseases that
attack the nose. blorkirS its I,as-
s;aSes; TINT attack the throat. rnus.
ing irritnti"0: that attack the car
tases. producing head noises aud
e;:fness: that attack the bronchial
Tubes and Lung Tubes. nre aggra-
Nafed by the weather of fall, winter
and spring. They Improve in the
warm weather months. because mt
such times there is Httle change I'm
the temperature; the damp spells
that produce colds are absent. aud
the high winds loaded with dust
that frrttate the breathing tracts
are absent. I'm winter even the Doc
tors skill In often taxed tn cure
Catarrh. Nature offers obstacle
after obstacle. and fn one day usf-
does ali the good he has been able
TO perform In week. In summer
nature helps the Doctor. One mon lns
0f summer treatment for Gnturrh IL
worth two months of the most careful
winter treatmcnt. az all who suffer
from Catnrrh were wise enough tn
devote n little Of the sum n,er to trent.
m"nt there would soon he few casea
OF Cntnrrh to treat. eases of Deafness
w"uic become rare. head noises q
curiosity and chronic coughs and
consumption would he reduced to n
minimum. Doctor Mccoy departs
from his usual custom I'm this ia.
stance only by making the ~ rate
cover all diseases. Ia applies not only
to Summer Treatment for Cntarrh,
but Ii applies to every disease.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26

Forty years ago she was known as the most
beautiful, the most intelligent and most ac-
complished woman of the United States.
The beaux of the army and navy then
bowed down to her; diplomats from a dozen
foreign courts strove together for her
smiles: statesmen famous for their elo-
quence and wit repeated her bon mots and
the American people without regard to
party admired and worshiped her Today
this woman is Intellectually as bright as
she was then, and physically she seems al
most as young as she was when she pre-
sided over the White House. Her luxuriant
mass of golden hair has. it Is true. been
turned to frosted silver by the brush of
time, but the blue Of her eyes is still clear,
the roses of her complexion still bloom and
the wrinkles of withered old age have yet
to come.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26

boxes Of correspondence packed away In
his house at Wheatlands. near Lancaster.
His correspondence covered a wide range.
There was hardly q character of rote IN
this country or Europe with whom ne was
not at some time in communication.
His letters to Miss Lane covered every va
riety Of subject and could they have been
saved and published they would have made
most interesting volume. When Presi-
dent buchanan died he left instructions as
10 the writing OF his memoirs. He chose
as the author Mr.. william II. Reed OF
Philadelphia. Mr.. Reed was one OF his
closest friends and knew just how Mr..
Buchanan wanted every matter treated.
Mr.. Reed. however had financial troubles
which prevented mis- carrying out his plan
and the executors bad the biography writ
ten by Mr.. George Ticknor Curtis.
President Burhannn's Love Affair.
1t was owing to a mistake that some OF
the most interesting papers connected with
Mr.. BuchaEan's career were burned by
his executors. These were the papers re-
lating to his love affair The fun story OF
the matter was. it is believed. told in the
package of papers. but when he had or.gi-
nally made il up he had written upon IL
line stating that ii should he burned with
out beins opened. Afterward he gave CT
rections to his biographer that the package
be opened ard the truth as to this tragic
episode of his career be told in the story
of his life. When the executors found
the package they burned it before they
realized what MIR. Buchanan had said TO
his biographer about ii. The only thing
that can Tow be certainly known concern
ing the matter is that when MIR. Buchanan
was a yourg man practicing law in Ian
caster he fell in love with beautiful girl.
the daughter of Robert Coleman. Ole OF
the weathest citizens of the place. After
a time he became engaged to her. Then
there was a lovers quarrel and the young
lady wrote a letter breaking off the en-
gagement. Soon after writing it she went
to Philadelphia for a short visit and dur
ing her stay there died. The lovers quar-
rel had not been made up and buchanan
mourned the loss of his sweetheart Until
the day of his death. He wrote beautiful
obituary notice of Miss Coleman for the
Lancaster newspaper and a letter to her
father. which shows how great the loss
was to him. When he was seventy years
old, just before his death, he referred again
10 the matter, showing that he still felt
deeply concerning ii and stating that the
truth would be told after his death.
FRANK q. CARPENTER.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26

with the fun knowledge and consent of
their parents or guardians and in bathing
suits, too-the world is going around, TOO
fast. now you mark me, I'll bet a box of
stoSies that not a single boy out on that
raft has hid his books in lumber yard
and played hockey from school in order to
get into the water-and what sort of flu
ture citizen of the republic is boy going
to make who never plays hockey TO go
a-swmminS? Not boy in that crowd has
got to cook up yarn to give his mother
when he gets home. What show has one
of those boys, swaddled up in a bathing
suit, to get his back sun blistered?-and
name me, if you can. any American who
ever rose TO eminence that didn't lose all
the hide off his back half dozen times
every summer during his hoyhood Worse
Yet. when those boys out there get tired of
swimming they'll only have to walk into
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26

school teacher. But the young woman
from Pentwater. Mich, apparently couldn't.
judging from the timd way she acted when
she came out of her dressing room. She
made her way out to the raft and looked
at the water as if it was just yawnng to
enSuif her and carry her out to the mid
sea sharks. The young man smiled with
superior comDlaisance, and talked, while
the cirl from Pentwater looked up at him
with big, demure, admiring eyes.
hut She Knew.
why said he. tits just as easy as
falling off log. You can't go down in the
water to save your neck If you just have
confidence. Just jump in and let yourself
go. you know, without struggling a little
bit, and you're bound to stay on top and
float. I'll see that you don't get in any
trouble. All you've got to
He broke of with sudden. long-drawn-
out Holy smoker The girl from Pent-
water had made three swift bounds for the
flying rings. which she grasped and swung
on with her feet in the air like a female
acrobat doing d SISTER" trapeze act in a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26

town are availing themselves of it, and
after few years Washington VIII unIdes-
u9nahly TIE able 10 claim larger proper
tonat" population OF young women with
the swimming accom- ,lis hulent added to
their myriad other accomplishments than
any other city in the country. Some of
the other large inland cities have got ma
tatorIuTnS: but d singh. visit to this open
river bathing b-a-.h sIffices show that
II beats III. natatpriUIn idea all hollow
The establishment of the bIthng beach for
both sexes was In" tinal movement in the
conversion of Washington into a summer
resort.
Local Ocenr id.s.
The girls and women are permitted to
enjoy u bathing be4rh swim AZ any time
but the hours and days specified were set
ASIDE for them especially for the benefit
~ s..er.,l s=zi3le clubs of young women.
composed largely Of High School girls
srnpoI tc..-iIcrs and ,!s Dartrncntal employees
who waited t. swim. or To- learn how 10
sw .sa. arnoG., themselves during the morn
ing hours. before tho business or study of
the a.y. This VIZ brought out in
svlrrls fh. ~. Eahers OF tie voi:r.s
=. ,-1.rl.- sgiir-r .- tlIiIs formed Last wear
- 50 or ,t..-1- '-,l.e f.-rlr way T., ihc beach
CA. ''--.r s.ttr.--- tr4 fDt q iew drive dow II
~ hI.---,~ ari carriages. In General al
Iup-t ti.S rr.ab.y. i- fact. she young women
are provided with th..r own bathing
dresses The latitude - Tire cut and color
~ = LlrH Us ,tupitt t!s' same a that OK
h..l-.-i AT t!- ssa~iil.- resorts
Ab.at on--haif rre Girls and young wo-
rrrn vino .ttrou.s- III. bathing bea, n
know hos 10 swim and live Jus: a. well as
thy Know how 10 coast ON their bicycles
tn rezraii-i.- Cuv-A2!t 20 through the
s.ru. t1uiI -.-Tt or1Hz.ll-rS. and have the
same amount of haif-fearful fun. as tn.
Hsu-- winning girls At tn. seaside. That
i 10 say. when they come out Of Their
dres.t& rooms. nicely T.&srd ont in their
rev bathing suits. thcy gaze at the water
with ta~ characteristic feminine disirust-
fuln-sS 1f It twi-eu il looms up in deep,
So mining 4Iantits=. that IS. and fai! Un-
consciously into the hj,ddIe posture as they
inquire weakly Of their friends already in
II the water is cold-uulike the dreary
funny man Of all ages. who has been in
qI.rIne with asiniHe grin ever since
the first l;am.ses first dipped into the
Nile II the wafer i wet Then they step
feebly ont on TIE Dlank!rG leading out 10
the stationary raft, Experimenting as to
The waters tempe nature with a suspicious
foot. whi-h i instantly withdrawn with
half Shrek and half a litter
Early on Monday morning last a Wash
tEgton school teacher took young woman
visitor from Ptniwater. Mich. down TO the
bathing beach a young man who knew
IL all accompanied them. The yoGn. man
could swim. 50 could the Washington
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26
THE ONLY WHITE BUFFALO.
Seen and Chased by Indians and
Hunters, but Never Caught.

Seen and Chased by Indians and
Hunters, but Never Caught.
From Forest and Stream.
During the summer of 1875 bands of In
dams returning from a hunt far out in the
plains brought in stories of having seen at
different times and in different places, and
always In the center of large herd,
white buffalo. They had used their best
horses ir the effort to overtake it, to no
purpose, never being able to get anywhere
near the animal. At first we did not pay
much attention to these stories, but still
1t kept cropping up from different camps.
and at last in the fall of 1875, 1 myself
had chance 10 verify the truth of the re-
port 1 had been sent on duty north along
the Red Deer river, and was camped near
large band of Blackfeet who were hunt
ing south of that river. The buffalo had
moved north In vast numbers, and the
prairie was black with them.
mad gone out one morning with q party
of Blackfeet to see one of their hunts and
also to try and kill it for myself. My horse
was sood one, and much faster than any
belonging 10 the Indian hunters 1 had got
detached from the party becoming tired of
the slaughter, and must have been at least
twenty miles from camp, when 1 made for
a small clump of timber not far off in
tending to roast portion of some buffalo
meat l had on the saddle with me. AS
approached the wood a band of about one
hundred animals burst out from the brush
and made off to the south, and yes, most
certainly, in the middle of them was.
white buffalo. Although they were quar-
ter of a mile away, there could be no mis-
take about it; he was there as large as
life. and quite white, and running like
deer. There was no time to much more
than take in the scene. but 1 gathered up
the reins and was after him, determined to
bag that buffalo or kill my horse.
Oh, what a race ii was, mile after mile;
and although all the band, with the ex-
ception of about a 0oZen. had split off and
gone in different directions. the white ami
NAL, with his body guard of about a dozen,
kept at about the same distance ahead
could catch a glimpse of him now and
then, and there was no doubt he was snow
white. Get within a shot 1 could not for
many miles. AT last they began to tire.
and. although my horse tired ALSO l had
good hopes of coming up and getting
shot. Alas, for such chance OF a sud
den my horse lurchei forward on his nose
sending over his head onto the prairie
and turning a somersault himself, missing
me only a few feet. He had put his foot
into badger hole, and brought hopes of
white robe to sudden end.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26
THE INDIAN AS A HUMORIsT.
A Laughnble Pursuit of a Quid Of
Tobacco.

Tobacco.
From the Detroit Free Press.
Most everybody imagines that the North
American Indian is a solemn and diSnified
il dividual." said the ex-army officer. as he
leaned gracefully back in his chair ard
lszily pulled away at his after-dinner cigar.
Before 1 met redskin / don't know how
many times had heard it asserted that as
a race they were as destitute of humor as
a patent office report or a craven image.
But when l got acquainted with the abo-
risinal in his native wllds l found that this
was a mistake.
The Indian is a born ilumorist. There
isn't the slightest doubt of that. The great
trouble is, however, that his hUmor runs
chiefly to practical jokes. L remember one
time meeting (or rather discovering few
rods distanD a big Indian when 4 was out
walking alone about two miles from camp.
We'll, he discovered me about the same
time, and the minute he did SO he let out a
terrific war whoop, began fiourishng his
tomahawk and started for me on {, run.
He chased me until / keeIed over from ex-
naustion and then, instead of scalpins, me-
as L naturally expected he would from his
previous actions, he assisted me to my feet
with a BROAD grin on his face, and grunted:
Ugh! Indian only yell for fun. Too la
scare white man. Injun don't want scalp.
Want chew terbacker.
The whole proceeding, it seemed, was
orly his humorous method of striking
stranger for chew of tobacco. Ii l had
had something to strike back with il might
not have been quite so funny-for him. but
unfortunately, L had left my weapons in
camp.
And. again, / remember the time a lot
of Indians who had been fooling around on
the warpath- We're forced TO capitulate and
surrender their game to Gen. Miles COM
mand at the Pine Ridge agency and the
last thing the humorous cusses did before
turning in their shooting irons was to load
every cid musket of the lot half way to the
mcZzie with slugs and nails and scrap iron
and other bric-a-brac of that sort and then
hang around at a safe distance to see the
fun when bonfire was made of the guns
as was the usual rule in such cases.
But. luckily for the soldiers they dis
covered the trick in time. and the expected
fun Jailed to pan out. STILL must take
the Will for the deed. and this little incl
Gent goes to show that a practical Joker
the willy aboriginal is not to be lightly
SneeZed at"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26

their dressing rooms. skin off their bath
ing suits. dry themselves with crash towels,
slip on their clothes. comb their hair
think of it, comb their hair,-ard it is all
over. Does that look right, dye think? Is
ii as Fable to make strong men the old
scheme of making the last boy out of the
water chew eight hard. water-soaked knots
out of both sleeves of his shirt? / tell you
the whole thing is wrong-now you hear
me-
Whereupon the middle-aged pessimist
faded away upon the ellipse, muttering
dark things at the bicyclists who fitted
past HIM
Had he seen the girls and young women
mermaidins and splashing and skylarkins
in the water Ike bcvy of modern land
CldGD oceanides, perhaps he wouldn't have
considered the world so far advanced the
wrong way. Between the hours of and
10 o'clock III the morning. on hot Mondays,
Wednesdays and Fridays the bathing
leach IS the property exclusively of the
girls and young women elderly ones. too.
for the matter of thaD; and no man person
is permitted to lave himself in the bathing
beach waters on these occasions. unless he
Is acting as the guide director and per-
haps the QUICKER of girl or woman friend
These are the hours and the days to see
and afterward to bear witness. how excel
lent a scheme this Washington bathing
beach is The incest girls and women in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26
Long Names.
From Harpar's Round Table.

f1tiiftlf 1IIle.
Observation-Disclosures is the name of
a small hamlet in the Isle of Null con-
tanning not more than dozen inha bitants
How they pronounce il is a mystery only
to be solved by some one acquainted with
Gaelic. but the fact that the Scots are a
nation of few words seems easy to explain
if they have many such words as the above
in their language.
Perhaps however. the Germans may be
fairly said TO carry off the palm i'm word
coming. How is this for a specimen Con-
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. OF this
one. Jungfrauenzimmerdu OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
toedungs?
The first means a Constantinopolitan bag
pipe player. and the last is the name of a
young ladies' club. which adorns the brass
plate of the door of a house in Cologne to
this day.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-06-26
Killarney.

Katharine lyman in The Independent.
1t was Shelley who writing from the
Italian lakes, said they were the most
beautiful things in all the world except
Killarney. 1 had not hungered after Kill
larney all my days, associatng it with
cheap excursones and throngs of Sightsccrs,
and / had not then heard Sheley's verdict
What / found when at last l visited it was
Il paradise of lake and wood and mountain
as sc1ucstered tho the tourist We're not.
Here ana there a boatload or carload of
people passed by. The tourist with his
travelling cap and tweeds, and his women
folk with short shirts and mackint os hes
and the inevitable tweed cap. are indeed
out of keeping with the solitary ma9ni-
cence of the exquisite scenery; but except
for these insignificant human mites, there
list resort. No merry-go-rounds or switch
backs. no dancing saloons, no giant adver-
tisoments. Just little untily Irish town.
with every second house a hotel. dropped
in the midst of divine lovelness. For XII
barney being unspoiled have to thank
he fact that my Lord kenmare and MI
Herbert Of Muckross divide the owners fli;,
of this Eden between them. Therefore We
pay without grumhling the somewhat
numerous shillingS which are the toll for
entering the estate of one or the other
gentleman.
If you want anything, try an adj in The
Star. If anybody has what you wish YOU
will get an answer.