The copper country evening news. [volume] (Calumet, Mich.) 18??-1907, 1897-09-20
WAS GETTING EVEN.
A WAITER GIVES A CUSTOMER ALEs-
SON IN iMRaRTUNING.

-
and Beans and What Went with It.
but the Waiter Called His Attention "a
Everything In the Place.
Pork and beans? Yes, sir. Anything
else?''
"No. I"
The waiter in the Madison street res.
taurant filled the order with alacrity.
Did you say coffee, sir?" he asked
as he placed the pork and beans before
the hungry guest
mo, replied the latter.
You'll find our coffee very nice,
sir. 4"
This bread and butter goes with the
pork and. doesn't it?''
Eyes, sir. "
And this glass of water?"
Certainly, sir. -
well, that's all | want.
Yes sir. Like to try cup of our
chocolate?'
No If | want anything else I'll
call for it. -
The waiter stepped back. but returned
presently to ask;
Wouldn't you like to have me bring
you some OF our boneless goldfish? It's
the best III the country
mo "
How about roast turkey with stuff
ing?"
Don't want any"
Its first class -
That's all right. don't want it. "
81 think you d like our roast beef and
Drowned potatoes. -
Didn't you hear me say that if |
wanted anything else | would call for
it?''
Eyes, sir. 4"
The waiter stepped back again. but
In few moments returned to the at
tack
Excuse me for saying so, my friend,
but you look as if you might be needing
some kind OF game, Suppose you try
our jacllsnipe on toast. Z"
Great Scottl Don't You reckon !
know what | want?'
Yes, sir Our jacksnipe is fresh
and good. Everybody needs to eat game
once in awhile. Kind of tones up the
system -
I've told you | don't want any,"
YES, sir Rabbits amt good this
time of year or we'd have some rabbit
SQUADS are about us good as wild game,
though. Like to try q broiled SQUAD on
toast?"
I'D like TO eat my pork and beans
In peace Bring me some more water
will you?'
Eyes, sir Shan't bring you some
iced tea?''
mot any iced tea. +"
Its very fine. "
Don't want it, "
'lt's good for some people; tones up
the system 4"
That's all right Bring me that
water, will you?''
Eyes. sir -
He went away and returned in an in
credibly short space of time
Here's your water" he said, "but
think you d find our iced coffee mighty
fine. +"
The guest made no reply
Better let me bring you some iced /
coffee, sir -
when want any iced coffee or any
thing else, I'll let you know ~
Ever try any of our stewed mush- |
rooms?"
No, and | don't want to try any of |
your stewed mushrooms either.
You needn't be afraid Of them, sir
They re all right We guarantee them,
and there amt any better in the United
States. "
Il don t.
Some people, you know, are afraid }
Of mushrooms. Ours are selected with
great care The man we get our mush-
rooms from is an expert He raises 'em
"Say, do you know you're a con-
founded nuisance?''
II hope not, sir. I'm only trying
your own way of doing business Oh
YOU -
what do you mean?"
You run a barber shop on State
street, don't you?'
Eyes. What of that?'
"You have the chair next to the
ront door, / think?'
"Yes."
well, went to your shop last Sat-
lrday to get shave. You shaved me.
You tried to get me to have my hair
ut. You told me | ought to have a
hampoo. You said my hair needed
ingeing. You wanted to know if |
adn't better have some tonic or bay
um. You wanted to sell me special
having mug and brush. You bored me
very minute you were shaving me, and
said to myself that if | ever got a
nance at you I'd even mp things. |
idn't expect You quite so soon, though
ay, we're about even, ain we?'
We'll be little more than even ,
yhen | tell your boss about your dog I
oned impudence"-
Il guess you won't do that. There's
dozen of us that get shaved ut your !
mop. You go to making any trouble I
nd you ii lose the lot of us You'd bet
II take your medicine like little i
Oipo ara x-n,,o WILL o,,s,o .<..s.. /.