davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
TIM ELY TOOT.
1t Comes From the Boniface of the Sum.
mer Hosiery.

mer Hostelry.
The shrewd, long headed boniface,
With light and airy fairy grace.
Now toots, while bright dreams come
apace.
His plaintive purple pipe,
And most melodiously calls
Us to his hospitable walls,
Where terrapin and Goldfish balls
Are blowing lush and ripe.
The boniface the welkin shakes
When with his clarion he wakes
Our souls 10 thoughts OF butter cakes
With honey richly spread.
He chants of beet and satisfy
He raises in the field hard by,
and of the palimpsest of pie
With which the guest is fed.
He sings about his shining cream
Two inches thick-a rural dream
That primes your coffee in a stream
When Phoebus gilds the lea.
Then with a mad. impassioned shrek:
IF health and happiness you seek
For jus; five fieeting dolls. q week.
Oh fly. oh, fly to me!
"All patrons at the train I meet
And to my mountain top retreat
l haul their baggage or receipt
OF orders sent by post.
For finest fishing here's the stand.
The hunting simply beats the band,
The scenery is wildly grand
The quail is on the toast.
THE beds arc soft as softest down.
No swift mosquito cracks your crown
I'll make you as a berry brown,
And browner pretty soon.
With thoughts OF grim malaria germs
Here no ones fancy madiy squirms-
on application special terms
For season, week or moOn,'
On. ne'er oh. ne'er your glasses don
His fur lined circular 70 con.
Matilda. dear. look not upon
The cabbage when it's red
List not unto his merry lay
oh, go not 10 his farm away.
Or you'll with Mariana say,
Il would that I were dead
r. X. Munkittrick in New York jour
nal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
A BANJO SONG.
The FaithIess YeIlah Gal Who Lived In
Caiyro.

The Faithless Yellah Gal Who Lived Il
Caiyro.
Plink-ty. plink-ty. plink-ty pluns.
Tip de keg an pull de bung.
Niggas always mighty happy
When de gum trees green an sappy.
Plink-ty plink-ty. plink-ty, piink-ty.
Plung. plung, plung.
One III yellah gal know
Plink-ty plung. Plink-ty plungO
Way up dar in Cai-y-ro.
Plink-ty plung! Plink-ty plungO.
Fix huhse'f to look so tony,
Lived with huh mama all aloney.
Sayed she'd be nah ownest owney.
Way up dar in Cai-y-ro!
LII gal say she hub me so
CPlink-ty plung. Plink-ty plungo
Way up dar in Cai-y-ro.
(Plink-ty plung, Plink-ty plung0
Baked me all sweet potato cake.
Wound huh aims around ma neck.
Sayed she d die foah ma sweet sake.
Way up dar in Cai-y-ro.
G'wan you nigga! How you blow
(Plink-ty plung, Plink-ty plungO
Bout dat gal in Cai-y-ro.
(PIink-ty plung, Plink-ty plungD
She done dubbed some other man.
Packed her trunk an away she ran
Wild a great, big. black, buck Eth-1-
ope-i-an
Way up dar in Cai-y-ro.
Plink-ty. plink-ty. plink-ty plung,
Tip de keg an pull de bung.
Njggas always mighty happy
When de gum trees green an sappy.
PKnk-ty, plink-ty. plink-ty. piink-ty.
Plcug. plung, plung.
New York Press.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
GOOD REASON.

why did you discharge the editor
Of your Mothers Column" they in
quired of the editor of weekly de-
voted to affairs of the home.
'She imposed upon u.s." was the
indignant reply. why, we never
knew until she had been here a
week that she was married and had
children of her own. What kind Of
advice do you suppose she could
give ?"-Chicago Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
HE WOULDN'T BE A POLAR BEAR

HE WOULDN'T BE A POLAR BEAF
Here is a story which was waited
In the other day by a breezy drum
mer from st. Paul. Maybe it is 80
old that IL is new again. but IL
doesn't impress me like an old ac-
quaintance.
A Frenchman who has not yet
mastered the intricacies OF the Eng
lish language went TO a friend the
other day for information and ad-
vice. Can you tell me-" he said.
Vat ees dees-vat you calf
pole bear? Vat ees a pole bear?''
"A polar bear?"
Eyes. Vat does II do?''
ooh. it just sits on the ice and
eats fish,
Vat? And I shall do that? Ne
vairei Nevaire! Not At ALI"
What do you mean?"
well. a man in de boarding house
we're / leeve he die and they shall
say to me viii / be a polar bear for
heem. Sect on ice and eat feeSh,
viii not do II, Not even for a dead
man. Not at alli"-Frank S. Pix
ley in Chicago TimesHerald.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
4 VETERAN.

and you are an old soldierw ex-
claimed the tender hearted matron.
regarding with affectionate solicit
tude the battered old pilgrim to
whom she had given in succession
a plate OF beans. half a dozen
dcuShnuts and a cup of coffee.
''Yes'm," answered Tufold Knutt,
still eating rapidly.
What army?"
Salvation Army. ma'am." said
AR Knutt, swallowing the remain
ing drops of his coffee and backing
hastily out of the kitchen.-Chicago
Tribune.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
COVERED HER WITH SHAME.

Mrs. Modus-weil. George. you
promised me q new bonnet.
Geo-ge-I2 Promised you a new
bonnet? Great Scott, when?
Mrs. Modus-Before you married
me you swore that never should dis
grace rest upon my head through
you. and what DO you call this shah
by thing that's on my head no.!-
T!t-Bits
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
RETRExcHrNG.

Just "a the volt reached TIE door
he met the E;0rk coming cut
by the way" TIE beast sxeisirn.
ed. as By sudden insplrafiOn. WY
couldn't gs double Up and save ess
klrsg"
This fable teach that even IN ne
animal kingdom there Ia a strong In
olination 20 retrsn1h operating ex-
Isases.-Dsfrolt Journal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
INTOXICATION IN EN-.

"And there must be sort of in
toXication in the plauditS of the
crowd" exclaimed the senator's
feminine admirer. with a gurgle OF
excited interest
well, yes" assented the great
man. They do whoop il up better
if you buy a few rounds before the
meeting "-Detroit News
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
INSULT AND CONTEMPLATED
INJURY.
Me Up.

Suburbanite - Well. little girl,
what is it?
Papa sent me TO borrow your lawn
mower. He said I'd better get il
this evening. cause you folks won't
be awake when he wants 10 use it
tomorrow morning.-Chicago Trib-
rDa
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
4 TEST THAT FAILED.

Here's arr a crown 1 found on
the bedroom floor, mum"
That's right. Jane. l am pleased
TO find you are so honest. / left il
there To test you"
That's just what thinks to my
self, mum. Judy.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
INTERESTING TO THE CLERGY

INTERESTING TO THE CLERGY.
a minister who used TO preach in
Somerville had a little boy. A few
days before his father LETT the city
TO go to his new parish one of his
neighbors said TO the little boy:
SO your father is going to work
in New Bedford. is he?'
''Oh. no." he said. Only preach"
-SomeryiIle Journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
TRYING TO CLEAR HIMSELF

The fish Of the Nineveh harbor
gathered derisively about the whale.
''Seasick," they cried sneeringiy.
The whale was highly indignant.
1.-THE idea" he snorted- 1T was
simply temporary nausea, brought
on by Overlooking the stomach. -
New York Press.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
ONE on NEW YORK.

Mr.. De Gothan1-Say. i hear that
Il inches don't make foot in Chi
cago.
Miss Porkpack-That's so. and nei-
Their do three feet make front yard.
like in New York--New York
World
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
NOT A GOOD JOB.

EYES," he said, I'm self made
man
Il take it for granted" returned
the smart young man. looking the
old fellow over critically, that If
you had il TO do over again you'd
let the contract out"
The young man had no expecta-
lions in that quarter anyway, so the
remark had no effect upon his fu-
Iure.-Chicago Post.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
TIE PHI PSODY

81 would raise a rhapsody" he
exclaimed. with all the fervor of a
poetic nature, 'to thy lips"
The rich. warm color suffused her
cOuntenance.
Strawberry sody, if you please"
she faltered, looking shyly down
Detroit Journal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
HIS THOUGHTLESS

HIS THOUGHTLESS COMMENT.
She was indignant when she threw
down the paper.
Think OF t." she exclaimed.
"Here's an account Of q case in Ok
lahoma where they gave preacher
a coat OF tar and feathers"
'Oh. we'll" he said. thoughtless-
", some people feel that they must
be always giving TO the Lord. -
Chicago Post
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
NO USE FOR SUCH THINGS.

IIOIeSSOr VI houciH Lilci diuie e
But surely, dear colleague, you must
have read Heine's poems?
Mathematician Oh, dear me,
scarcely page. Tell me now, what
was really proved by those verses?
-Fleigende Batter.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
INITIAL HELPS

"So you are the new stenogra-
pher2 Can you keep your mind on
your work."
Yes. sir. II you will keep your
mind on yours. '-Chicago Record.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
CHRONOLOGICAL.

Molly-How does she make out
that she's only %?
Dolly-She says she only really
began to live when she met her
husband.-New York Journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
PIANISSINO.

Third Floor-Don't you find the
singing in the next fat annoying
First Floor-Not so much as the
fats in the singing.-New York
Journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06

The cycle 70 the horse II spoke
In accents choked with glee.
- m better far than you. old chap:
There are no flies on me"
New York Journal
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
A WORD OF WARNING

''Never let your wife buy your
boxes of Strawberries"
''Why?"
Women always get everything
two or three sizes too smalI."-Chi-
cage Record.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
VERY LIKELY

Brown-How do you feel when
you are sober?
Old k-Thirsty.-Town Topics.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
A NEW VERSION.

The Greek who fights and runs away
VIII live TO run another day.
Town Topics.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06

LIFE.
CHAPTER I.
Born
CHAPTER III.
Bred.
CHAPTER Ill
Wooed'
CHAPTER ~.
Wed.
CHAPTER v.
Worried
CHAPTER VI
Dead,
Answers
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
HE WONDERED.

Little Clarence latter three min
utes OF siience)-pa.
Mr.. Caliipers (weariiy)-Ch?
Little Clarence-Pa. when you eat
a doughnut do you eat the hole. too.
or do you eat all around IL and leave
the hole New York Journal.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
TITRE NOTE

TURF NOTE.
what is a family horse?"
at is an ancient beast that takes
the whole family to make it co.
Chicago Record.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06
oBEYING ORDERS

oBEYING ORDERS.
Mistress told you half an houi
ago 70 turn on the gas in the parion>
Bridget.
Bridget-Sure an did. mum.
Don't you smell it7-Tit- Bits.
The Wichita daily eagle. [volume] (Wichita, Kan.) 1890-1906, 1897-06-06

"suTerin snakes, Badly. wha; are
you eoinE?"
My bottle Of Paddyrooski's hair
restorer broke. but it can't lose
me.''
~Fliegende Batter.
The times., 1897-03-18
sherman anu Cuba.

The American tendencies of the Secre
fest in various ways. As sooa as it was
reported that the Spanish minister char
acterized hiIn as a hog, the public took
notice and iegau to feel confidence that
department policy had undergone a reyolu-
ton.
Surely q change OF some sort was to
be expected from the infamous and ma
tionaiiy degrading course of oiney, and
particularly we were justified in looking
for it at the hands of statesman whose
voice SO often had been raised in the
Senate in behalf Of the gallant people of
Cuba, struggling for liberty. On March
IL, 1896. Senator Sherman said:
/ do not understand how anyone with
the blood of the patriots of the American
Revolution running in his veins cannot
sympathize with these people, and declare
may he. 1 say the time has come
when the American people should openly
and plainly declare their deteSJation of
such horrors, their detestation OF such
tyranny, and, if necessary, l should be
willing to go farther and say that il shall
end
When, a year ago, the present secre-
tary OF State gave utterance to these brave
and noble sentiments there was not half
the reason to detest the Spanish tyranny
in Cuba that exists today The butchery
OF Cuban women and children. il begun,
The times., 1897-03-18
Ia Favor of Foreigners.

A protective tariff is correctly described
assuch, ia 50 far as the interests OF favored
manufacturers are concerned, but not in
any other sense. 1t is not, and, in the
nature OF things, cannot be, protective to
the public revenue which it defeats, nor
to the masses Of American consumers wh1m
1t distinctly and demonstrably robs 20 put
money ia the pockets of trusts and
nonopolies.
One of ITS most direct and disastrous eff
fects is TO discriminate against American
consumers in favor Of foreigners Safe
under the acgis Of protection, manufacturers
in this country can and do combine and
raise prices TO the fun prohibitiye tariff
level. Re-enforccd with the resultant excess
i've profits they can and 90 invade other
countries and there successfully compete
with native producers, at prices far below
what we are compelled to pay for the same
COMMODITIES
When the present law was under consid-
Grafton the House placed an ad valorem
duty of 20 per cent on steel rails, rate
more than ample at the time to shut out
any foreign competition. Certain trust
Senators succeeded in having it doubled
to Il specific duty of ST "a per ton The
result has been that American buyers have
paid SIS per ton at the mill, at the same
time that identical goods were being ex-
ported aud sold abroad at less than $50
per ton.
The rate of duty on steel rails has not
been alterediu the Din gley bill, but changes
IA market prices make it 10 per cent
higher in fact than IL was when the VIII
son bill was enacted
Abuses like that related above aud thou
sands more will go On and flourish while
'eommacency" or corruption is strong
enough in opposition breasts to render
their foundation possible.
The times., 1897-03-18

Unquestlonahiy the most distinguished of
all the reporters at the prize fight was
the Hon. John James Ingalls,, formerly a
United States Senator. Considerable fun
has been had with Mr.. Ingalls, because he
has seen fit to step out of the beaten path
OF real craftsmanship and real literature TO
do" this most distinguished social event
at Carson City. Mr. ingalls, long ago de-
fined himself as statesman out of job.
We dare say that he found ii hard, after
his return to Atchison from the Senate, to
build up his former lucrative law practice
Hence, we can hardly see why this gen
tleman, bent upon the pursuit of an honest
living, should decline an invitation to q
pleasant trip to Nevada, and small task
or reporting The American people have
undoubtedly hankered after every pos
sihie item OF news or gossip about this
prize fight; and we cannot see why it
should not be chronicled, then. By gentle
man who is able to toss the flowers of
speech at us like so many bouquets
The times., 1897-03-18
BEAR RAISED BY A GOAT.
The Animal Grew Up to Be a Very
Fine Herier.

The bear that figures in the story was
known as Jack, and he belonged to Louis
Ford, who formerly owned a goat ranch
high up to the Cerro GordO Mountain, over
looking the lovely valley of the San Joa-
quin
Ford found the bear when it was a cub,
soft, round, shining and black Being wife
less, chiIdiess and alone. he adopted the
tiny cub and carried it home. once there,
Ford soon found that foster mother must
be provided for the infant, and 50 fright
ened trembling. bleating She goat was
brought TO the house to take the place of
the parent he so missed. 1t Was only after
much combined force and persuasion the
goat could be forced to adopt as her own the
unkidiikc orphan placed in her care But
the time came when foster mother and
foster child We're as happy and content in
their relations to each other as il the sight
of a nimble footed blue-haired nanny"
sucking clumsy black bear cub was one
of the most ordinary condition OF affairs
The bear. which was named Jack, waxed
fat oR goats milk, and more docile.
tractasle beast never grew up under the
guardianship of human and loving mas
ter. In the earlier days of his adoption the
baby was a baby In truth. He would not
be left alone. And it would have been a
harder heart than Ford's that could have
resisted the pitifth whimper of the little
fellow whenever he thought that he was to
be left alone within the house.
Had there been any to see 10 in those
days they would have witnessed strange
sight. The great, broad-shouldered man
following his flock as they grazed on the
bunchgrass like five or six
miles from home-and as he walked the
steep mountain side, where 1t was so al
most perpendicular that it seemed that
only the goats themselves could gain u
foothoid on the rocks, he carried the cub
in his arms.
When jack grew older he was trained to
herd the goats. Previously number of
dogs had helped Ford, but the bear and
the dogs could not agree, and so the dogs
had to go. Jack took their place weIi.
and they were never missed For several
years the bear continued TO help Ford.
until the latter sold his ranch and prepared
to go to his old home in Europe Then
number Of his neighbors tried TO buy the
bear Ford refused to sell him. and said
that If he cnuld not take Jack with him he
would not go The difficulty about ship
ping the bear was overcome, and now he
and his master are living eontentedly in
tie old country, enjoying the fruits of their
long, lonesome stay in the California
mountains. San Francisco Call.
The times., 1897-03-18

had not generally come to our kno Wedge
The imprisonment, torture and murder
OF innocent American citizens had BOT
become the fayorite answer of Captain
General Weylcr to adverse criticism Of his
course by the American press. He lad
not yet fully learned that he would be
cordially supported in such q policy by
President Cleveland and Secretary Of
State oiuey. Even the poor boy CORE
spondent OF the Jacksonville paper had
not been then tied to tree and hacked
to death with machetes by Spanish sol
dierS. The antecedent horrors to which
Senator Sherman referred were as nothing
TO these OF which Secretary of State
Sherman has full knowledge.
So we cannet be wrong in believing
that he feels more strongly and indig-
nantly than he did a year ago the right
and duty OF the American people to SAY
that it shall end" Our right of ihter-
position to stop the fiendish slaughter of
innocents is undoubted. and IL we have
the right, there can be no question about
the duty.
Wal the Secretary be less American
than the Senator?
The times., 1897-03-18
Mr.. MeKenna and the Dauntless

The statement is made that the Cabinet
has been considering that phase of our
relations TO the Cuban question involved
In the shipment from this country of arms
and munitions OF war destined for ports
Of the island. 1t is reported that Attor-
Bey General McKenna Is in doubt about
the proper course 70 pursue.
The steamer Dauntless. with suggestive
cargo, wants 10 clear for a given port
Under ordinary circumstances no objection
could bc made, and we do not exactly see
soW any ought to be made at any time
The port designated as that of destina-
tion is within the territory of country
with which we are at peace. But the At
torney General seems IL be troubling him.
self with collateral problems and theories
He is said to argue that the cargo cannot
be landed where it assumes 10 be going:
that il must be put off on the coast some
where, and that 70 accomplish this it
would be necessary 10 take along an armed
force. He fears that this might come with
IA the definition OF an armed expedition
Why should the Attorney General feel
The times., 1897-03-18
FATHERS MAD ACT.
Kills His Two Children and Takes
HIS Own Life.

Philadelphia, March l Z. Frederick ranks
shot and killed his son. William, aged nine
years; shot and badly y wounded his daughter,
Amelia five years old, and then turned the
revolver on himself, sending a bullet into
his breast. near the heart at his home in
this city this morning.
Franks and his daughter were taken TO
hospital, where the father died a few
hours later, and but little hope is given
for the recovery of the child. An examina-
ton of the house showef that Franks had
made deliberate preparations for his ter
rible work.
According to the story of his wife, Franks
arose earlier than usual. He told his wife
to go to the grocery store for something
for breakfast. When the woman had left
the house he locked both doors. The two
children were asleep in a scCond-story back
room. Neighbors heard several pistol shots
a few minutes after Mrs Franks had left
the house.
On her return the wife found the door
locked, and failing to get response to her
pulls at the bell called for her husband TO
open the door. The little girl, hearing her
mothers call, staggered down stairs, open
ed the door. and fell unconscious at the
w0man's feet. Mrs Franks screamed and
called to her husband. Picking up the child
the woman rushed into the parlor and there,
lying in pool of blood, with a bullet wound
near the heart, was the man who has
caused the tragedy. Mrs. Franks rushed
upstairs and there, lying on the bed, was
the body of the boy. Death had been in
Simultaneous,
The murderer had gone upstairs and sent
three bullets into his sons head and body.
He then shot the little girl under the chin,
and went downstairs and fatally wounded
himself.
1t is believed that Franks was suddenly
seized with fit of insanity, as no cause
for the murder and suicide can be ad-
vanced.