Birmingham state herald., 1897-02-24

l prohibition town, and the lecturer com
 menced with cute little joke on the 1 Auditorium had s,5o8 people inside In I five minutes there was a universal smile on the faces of every one there; in ten it was a broad, continuous laugh, unbroken | to the end of his talk. Everybody asked l who is he? Where is he from? Amt he | dro1l? And when he next appeared upon the platform the applause was deafen- 1 ing. In a few weeks his fame began to spread and his engagements to multiply, and wherever he appeared he Hvened up 1 things, as his soubriquet of Sunshine" promised he would. He has no set way of speaking-no 'scut and dried" lecture but he just commenced to talk, as if he didn't especially expect you to listen, and in about pair of minutes he has wab- bled around to something you consider extremely funny. In ordinary eonver- sation he says many exceptionally droll things. It was just too funny to hear him tell of settling in Texas when a grown man. He left Alabama with $75 and a clean handkerchief, and really ex- pected when he reached the 'Lone Star State" to be acknowledged as the smart est man in that empire of the west, but, greatly to his disappointmen he found that a 10-year-old boy was Solomon compared to him. "I went out there lawyer" he remarked. '.but in about three weeks I reformed and went to school teaching; began with six scholars, consisting partly of boys and girls; never could tell which was which, as wore out all the timber on the prairie the first week. After loading all of these kids with young ideas until they began to shoot, I tobogganed into the newspaper buSiness-began an adventurous career on the "FrontierSman" Afterwards the Gatesville Sun), with drunken tramp printer, a paralytic Washington hand press and an office towel too far gone in the stages of decay to justify coroner's s inquest Made $400 in one year, all in silver, and came back to Alabama to splurge and exhibit to the people that rare anomaly. i. e., real wealthy man, who, nevertheless, was modest with 1t!
 Shortly after his return he was elected by the legislature of Ala bama solicitor Of the Twelfth judicial circuit, and it was during his continuance in this office that he became noted over Alabama for his wit and drollery, and his boundless store of stories. His circuit, lying next to Gsor- gia, in the foothills of the Appala chians, Rbounded with the moonshiner, the wild hog-hunter. and litgious citizens who laid up money with which to law each other. Court was the one grand glorious event of the year. and the speeches of the lawyers was 8 gladiatorial strife, to be treasured as q life memory. Vandiver was in his element in this scene-he'd joke the judge, poke fun at the witnesses and tell anecdotes to the jury, until the court resembled a minstrel show. Many are the merry laughs the Cleberne or Cherokee holloWs hold to this day pro- voked by the countless repetitions of his well-remembered stories.
 He it was who originated the story of Pete Cotton's offset. Pete was cited to appear before a committee of his church for getting drunk. and after continuing the case twice, Pete appeared and plead ed an offset which he explained to mean that the "slidin elder had been drunk twice since Pete had" and the an- ecdote of the fellow who plead guilty to assault and battery 'in part" as an avowel. Hedge I did sorter salt ther feller on the jaw, but he battered me like hell CT beatin tan bark"
 A chum of Vandiver's known as Uncle Alb Littlejohn," was a juror at Jackson vile while a charge of carrying a pistol concealed was on trial. There wasn't. the slightest proof against the defendant except that his coat bu1ged up behind. Contrary to all expectations the solicitor arose and began to argue the case-evi- dently relying on the warm personal friendship of Juror Littlejohn to insure 8 conviction for him. Tn a few minutes the juror was observed to smile approval at some good point, when Vandiver swelled into a louder strain; Littiejohn again ap- proved. Vandiver put on more steam. Uncle Alb nodded this time, and "Sun- shine" fairly whooped and howled, clos ing in burst of sound like a mule bray ing in a hogshead. After a moments de- f mot guilty" At noon Vandiyer remon- strated with Uncle Ab asking why he hadn't convicted the negro. "There weren't no proof agin him." said Alb. Then why were you holding and indors- ing my argument. asked the solicitor "Aw," said Alb, archly pol1ing him in the ribs. "I jest warnted ter hear yer rar and kavort."
 He once defended a dago. whose dwell ing was near negro church. and who. having a sick wife. had asked the culled brethren to make less noise No heed was paid to this request, and so Spag- hetti armed himself with club. attended the services. spread the nose of the off, lampblacked the landscape with nigger wool and secondhand clothing. Spag- hetti was indicted for disturbing religious worship. Vandiver defended on the ground that the fact was that the Ire ligious worship" disturbed Spaghetti. such levity in legal proceedings"
 Why" said vandivsr. MT. Solicitor, you misunderstood the object of this meeting-this is not a. prayer meeting this is court, but neither in court nor in prayer meeting have Lever heard a saint or sinner object to any one spread ing the gospel"
 His stories are without number, and all contain a grain of harmless, piquart hu- nor. He tells, merrily, of the memora-
 
 off the shackles of republicanism, and of his mountain campaign with old Jackson Sapp, a candidate for county treasurer. At Gum Pond there was an all-day speaking. and old Bill. though terribly impatient, didn't get the floor until very late in the afternoon, when the crowd was breaking up. Huffiedly mounting the stand, he roared out: "Fel- Ter sitizens, all CT you uns wkat wants ter hear yer Uncle Jackey Sapp hit 'ern q few reefs erbout kuppin fcoupon) bonds and fy-nans-'ll sgnerfy it by CT sayin' I.''
 Not soul responded. but. on the con- trary, every one seemed to have sudden business away from there--scattering like leaves before gale. Composediy Uncle Jack surveyed the scurrying crowd-then hitched up his pants and said:
 "'Silence gives consent'-and I'll pro- csed to purceed"--and he proceeded for three mortal hours.
 MT. Vandiver's literary genius shows to great advantage in a characteristic story publshed in the October number Of the "!slac ck Cat (Boston) entitled "A Peg-leg