Democratic Northwest and Henry County news. [volume] (Napoleon, O. [Ohio]) 1894-1905, 1897-04-01

ears were strained to catch the suppressed
crow of the chanticleer, he found the taste
of watermelon in his mouth. The result
was inevitable. By and by the bike stop
ped and bounced him off. A shed was close
at hand. Within the shed roasted score
of Leghorns 1t was needless to say more,
but he desired to call the attention of the
club to the fact that he had invented
chicken carrier, to be attached to the bike,
an arrangement which would hold four fat
chickens and still preserve an innocent
look in the eyes of policeman. Brother
Higginbottom was greeted with applause
as he closed his remarks and sat down, and,
though nothing was said about adopting
his report, it was plainly evident that the
large majority of members leaned that way.
The Hon. Cataleptic Tompkins, an ac-
tive member who had been on visit to the
west, was called upon for few remarks,
and he arose to say that he had found col
ored genius at work improving the bicycle
wherever he went. One man had invented
a handle bar with razor in either end.
Another had invented saddle which would
restore gray hair to its original color. A
third was attaching to the hind wheel
music box which plays "Old Dan Tucker"
for two hours without stopping. In Buff
falo he saw patent pedal which would
reach out and kick dog, and in Cleve-
land he rode on bike with cork tires. The
colored genius in this country would in
time remodel the wheel and make it real
blessing to humanity. His own inventive
thoughts Just now were turned toward 81
bicycle which could take to the woods and
4 ~ IN h,,,,t ~ rah bifc
and possums, and he believed that success
would ultimately be his.
The case of Brother Ginger White was
then called up for disposal His record as
a rider was o bad one. In three months
he had run over number of people and
had been arrested seven times Two weeks
ago a committee was appointed to examine
and investigate and report. DIR. Napoleon
Jones, chairman of the committee and the
physician of the club, now reported that
they had first examined Brother White s
legs, They were found to be so bowed that
he could stand with one foot on each side
of a pork barrel One of his shoulders was
lopped 12 inches below the other, and he
was stone deaf in the right ear. The state
of his eyes caused the most surprise, how
ever. He was not only cross eyed, but
blind in the left optic, while the squint OF
his right one could not tell the difference
between handcart and street car. How
| he had ever managed to ride distance OF
even ten feet without calamity was a
source Of amazement to all the committee.
As a man Brother White was honest and
| industrious and well liked, but as bicy
clist he must be regarded as dangerous
man.
| The committee did not recommend any
| particular action, but President Toots said
| 1t was evident that something must bt
done to preserve human life and personal
property in the United States of America
| Brother White was riding rented ma
chine and would not therefore be out OF
pocket, and he would take upon himself
the authority to declare his suspension az
an active mem Der. He might stand upor
| the curbstone and squint at the riders or
public parade days, or he might take
wheel out into the country and hire a Il
acre lot, but the club would no longer b
responsible for damages or stand beholder
for funeral expenses in case he broke hi
neck.
i Brother Warlock Smith arose to ask fo
information. His wife was a womaI
weighing 800 pounds, and wanted to learl
to ride the bike. He had persistently dis
couraged her, on the grounds that she wa
too fat and would not present graceful
uintnra Ha had O ,nnths--sa-i"~ 20 SaAr