Richmond dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1884-1903, 1897-01-17
A Heterophemisfs Work.


few months old when a financial agent
was sent 10 England on very impor'an'
mission.
Mr.. Blank was a politician and
banker. He was also an elegant gem
tIeman. with many influential acquaint-
ances on both sides Of the water.
II Mr. Blank had been less ambitious,
~ might have been better for him ana
for the Confederacy. But he peheVeu
that he was a born diplomat, and was
anxious to distinguish himself.
Before leaving Richmond he had long
talk with Memminger, the Secretary OF
the Treasury. 30
said, IT will send you word by some
reliable blockade-runner. 1t VIII pe
very brief message, but you Will under
stand IL. while it will mean nothing to
the enemy If it should be intercepted.
The confidential agent slipped through
the lines. and in less than month was
comfortably established in London. III
the metropolis he found many southern
ers and many prominent Engilsnmeh'
who sympathized with the secessionlsts'
Uo saw Mr.. Yancey, the Confederate
Minister every day, and the two worked
together in harmony.
Mr. Yancey was a practical man. anu
he was not long In coming to the concur
sion that no aid was to be expected from
the British Government. When ne Iounu
that the factories were changing their
machinery 20 suit the India cotton ana
that the acreage Of the staple had peeh
greatly increased in that country "0
gave up all hope.
"The abolition sentiment controls here,
he said to Mr.. Blank. Some or the
statesmen would like TO help the South'
I'm order to break up the Union. but the
people will never consent. The south
will have to fight her battles alone
blank felt pretty blue when he heard
this. and that night he wrote the single
word "Successfur on a thin slip OF paper
and skilfully secreted it in an ordinary
coat-button.
The next day he was visited by
southern friend, who remained with MN
for an hour or more. During MS stay ne
removed the top button from MS coat
and sewed on the one furnished oy MI
Blank.
ct understand II ALL" he said when he
left. "If l get safely TO Wilmington L
viii 20 at once to Richmond, and give
this button to Mr. Memmnger. L pre-
fer not to know the nature of the mes
sage. especially as you say that II eX-
plains itself"
eyes" replied Blank, sit will be under
stood by the Secretary, and as II refers
to a State secret l am not at liberty 10
say anything about It,"
The two shook hands. and the gentle
man with the precious button took the
next train for Liverpool, where he board
ed a steamer bound for Wilmington.
The steamer was chased by Federai
cruisers but she managed to reach her
destination without any serious mlsuap.
In the course of two or three days the
mysterious traveller called on Mr.. Mem
minger I'm Richmond, and presented hin
with a button.
The secretary cut off It's covering in
hurry. and smiled when he read the woru
Successful"
"Did Mr.. Blank show this message to
you?" he asked.
'sNo. We both thought It best that !
should remain in ignorance, 50 that no
tell-tale expression Of my face would be
tray anything If the enemy captured me-
The Secretary asked other questions
but his caller was plain Businessman
who knew nothing Of Cabinet secrets, ana
COulQ llIOW uO l4IHN Nt~-A $50 +'
At a meeting of the Cabinet that after
noon Mr.. Memminger was in high spirits
He predicted that the war would be over
in ninety days, and said that England
was prepared to recognize the Confede-
racy and send over her warships to break
~ have this" he said, from my con-
fdential agent Mr.. Blank"
The name commanded respect, ana
when the Secretary said that under the
circumstances a loan OF Sl5OOo'Wo nego-
tiated In Europe would be sufficient
everybody agreed with him.
The weeks rolled on, and Erlanger in
Paris advertised for bids for sl5,Oo0,eo0 in
Confederate bonds.
Mr.. Blank read this at his London hotel
one morning, and dropped his paper In MS
"Wen. I'll be d-dr' he remarked. Must
be a mistake. I'll run over and see ABOUT
it,"
The next day he was at Erlanger's office
in Paris. The French banker informed
his visitor that there was no mistake,
and then Blank swore vigorously.
The bids rushed in from all quarters.
II the demands OF these spectators
bonds could have been sold.
When this fact became known MI
| blank again reiapsed into profanity.
He could not stand It, and despite the
| danger of the trip. he made his arrange
| ments 70 return home
HIS interview with Memminger was a
stormy one when he arrived at Richmond.
81 intended 10 write Unsuccessful! )"
he said, after a long talk.
well, there is your message" replied
the Secretary. "You wrote Successful -
II don't understand IT," said Mr.. Blank.
sadly. Surely your advices from Mr..
Yancey should have warned you that
| there was something wrong.
"His dispatches were intercepted an
swered the other.
81 don't understand it," repeated Mr..
| Blank.
"Perhaps I do" quietly remarked the
Secretary: II have carefully noted your
talk this morning and / have discovered
| that YOU are heterophemist- For In
stance. you say London when you mean
Richmond. and Richmond when you
mean London. You similarly misuse the
names OF other places and persons, and
are unconscious OF Il. When you sent
me that message the word unsuccessful
was in your mind. but being hetero-
phemist. you wrote a word with the OPP
posite meaning, and ruined the Coniede-
racy." , IL. -
81 may have made mistake, Sir,
cold Mr.. Blank, rising from his chair,
hut | am neither lunatic nor an idiot
7 have the honor to bid you good-morn-
ing" ,,.
Mr.. Memminger bowed stifily. and Mr.
RANK left the office in high dudgeon.
Heterophemy Is a fatal thing In dipio-
macy WALLACE PUTNAM REED.
Danger Envfrons Us
20 wa live In q region where malaria is