Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1897-08-26

engaged to him." What caused the
delay?"
She-And what would you be now if
1t weren't for my money? He-A bach
elor.-Boston Traveller.
Il saw Singleton with his wheels to-
day" why not say bicycle:" Be
cause it was a baby carriage"
How much have repairs cost YOU
since you've been riding the bicycle?"
repairs to what-myself or the ma
chine|-BostOn Traveller
Husband-How do you like the view?
Wife with ecstacy)-Oh! am speech
less. Husband-l shall stay and build
a hOuse.-Journal Amusant
Bibman-Did your watch stop when
you dropped it on the floor? Magley-
of course it did. Did you think it
would go through?-Tit-Bits
where's yer brother got to lately,
Liza" "'E got ten days for knockin'
a pleeceman down" "W'ot? ten days
for one pleeceman?-Pick-Me-Up.
I'm sure I'll never be able to walk
up the aisle with papa" why not,
my childT' Papa is so ridiculously
low geared. cleveland Plaindealer.
"DO you suppose scorchng is the
cause Of all these bicycle faces we
see?' "Shucks, no! In nine cases out
of ten it's the installment PLAN
Truth.
Frank-SOme genius in Birmingham
has invented buttonless shirt. Billy
Why, that's old. I've worn them
ever since my wife learned to ride a
bike.-Tid-Bits
Mr.. Kashbocks-My money is a lot
of trouble to me. Miss Mayting-They
say every man ought to have some
woman to share his roubies,-Clncin-
natl Enquirer.
She-Who was it that said "Theres
no such word as fail?" He-Oh. | don't
remember; some smart Alec who never
tried to open car window, suppose.
-YOnkers Statesman.
Mrs. Fussanfeather-I understand
that Mr.. Tallman kissed you on the
stoop last night. Miss Fussanfeather
Why, yes. mamma; he's so tall he
had to.-Yonkers Statesman.
Nurse-Johnnie. the stOrk has
brought you a little baby. Wouldn't
you like to see your little brother!
Johnnie-Naw. But I'd like to see
the stork.-Stockholm Kasper.
81 have just taken life to save my
own" What do you mean!" "lf |
hadn't taken that Life of Grant the
woman book agent would have talked
me to death."-Cleveland Plaindealer.
Wheeler-Whew! Isn't this day a
scorcher? Walker-It has been dis
agreeable. eXasperating, muggy. infer
nally hot day. but | would not call it
so mean name as that.-lndianapolis
Journal.
George. | fear you are marrying me
lust because my uncle left me for
tune" NO, my precious. I'd marry
YOU Just the same as If any other
friend had left it to you.'-Boston
Traveller.
you have. aw. no leisure claws in
this countwy, aw," remarked the in
terrogative visitor. You can't have
seen room full of government clerks
in action" replied the native Amerl-
can.-Life.
Excited Wife-Oh. professor, the
cook has fallen and broken her coHar
hone Professor-Discharge her at
once! You told her what TO expect II
she broke anything more,--Detrolt
FreePress.
Look at that girl" exclaimed Mrs.
pr;m ot the seashore: "she might as
we'll have nothing on as that bathing
suitr' "Never mird, my dear. I'll COW
or her with my glasses" said Mr.. Prim
sympathetically, suitng the action to
the word.-Ben Franklin.
why" said the patriot, the United
States would have picnic with Japan
If she objected to our annexation OF
the Hawaiian islands" "Of course,
echoes Joe Cose. "and the Islands
would furnish the sandwiches. .'-Phil-
adelphia North American.
81 wonder" said the man of statis-
teal turn. 81 wonder how much pow
der is destroyed daily in useless sa-
lutesY' There must be a lot" said
tbe frivolous girl. But | suppose
women will 90 on kissing one another
lust the same."-Indianapolis Journal.
The Doctor-Mrs. Brown has sent for
me TO 20 and see her boy, and | must
90 at once. His Wife-What is the
matter with the boy? The Doctor
don't know. but Mrs. Brown has book
on "What to Do Before the Doctor
Comes" and must hurry up before