davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
A MethOdical Man.

Just as Virgins was ready to leave home
the other morning to 60 down to his Office,
his wife said to him:
John, / wish you would stop at Blank &
Co.'S department store and have them to
send me up three yards of goods to match
this sample"
"All right said Virgins, reaching for
the sample. How much will it cost"
II don't remember exactly" replied his
wife. Its 30 or 40 cents yard"
But | must know the exact COST" he
persisted, ''or l can't stop for it. l am in
rush this morning to get down to the Of
fce.'
But what difference does it make"
asked Mrs. Virgins, about knowing the
cost of the goods to the penny"
A whole heap of difference snapped
Virgins. 1T will save my losing a couple
Of hours waiting for my change. Ohio
State journal.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
ENGLISH AS SHE IS SPOKEN.
One Way to Spell Tomatoes, Five to
Pronounce 1t.

Pronounce 1t.
One word in its time has many pronuncia.
tions. For instance: Mrs. Housekeep the
other day was doing her mornings market
ing With her had come the stranger who
was spending week or two within her
gates. Standing by while she snapped the
beans between her fingers to see that they
were tender, parted the husks to make sure
that the corn was ripe, pulled the pears out
OF their paper wrappings and conducted her.
self generally after the manner Of a careful
housewife, was the clerk, order book in
hand, and obsequiousness on his brow. The
visitor began it with:
These ttomaytoes look nice. Get some
there's dear"
To which Mrs. Housekeep replied: "Why,
certainly, if you like them" Then to the
clerk: How much are Tomatoes this
morning."
I'm not sure; I'll ask. JIM" calling to a
fellow clerk, ''how much is them termait-
ers?'
III ask the boss. Say" passing the word
further back, watcher gettin for tomat-
toes today"
"T'mats: o, two baskets for quarter,
1 guess"
Therefore, to please her guest who loved
"tomaytoes," Mrs. Housekeep invested in
some Tomatoes" and Jim, who was inves-
tigating the price of Tomatoes" for the
benefit of fellow clerk who wanted to
know how to sell "termaiters," was en-
hghtened as to what he should charge for
It mats And the bystander was left mar
yelling at the infinite variety of English as
she is spoke. Chicago Chronicle.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

Burns to the corporal; and between
them Riggs was heaved to his sprawl
ing feet. "Get him over to camp now
and battle his head. Put a bayonet
through him if he tries to bolt. I'll be
there presently"
And of Riggs, her assailant, and of
Riggs removal under guard, the lady
of the Walton homestead took no note
whatever. Rebuffed, yet sympathetic,
Lambert again essayed to speak, but
the rattle of the barrow was heard and
Henry once more doomed up within the
zone of lantern light.
Lift that-puhson-out," she said.
And when Burns would have lent
helping hand she interposed: NO,
beg you. My suhvants will attend to
this" And neither Lambert nor his
sergeant made further effort. Murphy,
lifted from the wreck of the ruined hot
bed, abject and crestfallen, scratched
and bruised and bleeding, yet neither
so deadened by drink nor SO stunned
by the rain Of blows which he had suf
fered as not to appreciate the humilia-
ton of his position, was squatted in the
barrow. At an imperious gesture from
Nine. Walton Henry started to wheel
in close attendance.
And then, with calm dignity and re-
covered breath, the lady turned to the
boy officer:
81 have not thanked you yet"
ooh, Mrs. Walton, I beg you not to
speak of thanks. If you knew how
how ashamed 1 am, and that my regi-
ment will be-that any of our men
could have dared" The very intensity
of the young fellows indignation
choked him and gave her the floor.
"Once before this they came, and
then I warned. This time, having no
men to call up" negroes, it seems,
could not be counted as such), II was
compelled myself to chastise. May l
ask the safe return of our barrow-it is
the only vehicle the war has left us
and that we may now be permitted to
retire?" And she swept stately cour-
tesy.
But, madam" began Lambert, ut
terly chagrined at the attitude of cold
and determined avoidance in which she
persisted, you have been brutally
handled; 1 insist on sending for our
contract doctor; it is the best we can
offer tonight"
Neither tonight, nor at any other
thine, would his suhvices be acceptable,
sub. 1 need no doctoh. We learned
we had to learn-how to do without
luxuries of every kind during the war;
and DR.. Hand-I think that is the name
of the physician you refer to-would
be too much of a luxury at any time.
1 regret that your men should need his
suhvices, but they brought it on them
selves"
"They will need him more before
the captain gets through with 'em,
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
No Wonder He Objected.

has wife and family, but, professorlike his
thoughts are always with his books One
evening his wife, who had been out for
some hours, returned to find the house re-
markedly quiet. She had left the children
playing about, but now they were nowhere
to be seen. She demanded to be told what
had become of them, and the professor ex-
planned that, as they had made good deal
of noise, he had put them in bed without
waiting for her or calling maid. Il hope
they gave you no trouble" she said. No"
of the one in the cot here. He objected a
good deal to my undressing him and put
ting him to bed" The wife went to inspect
the cot. Why" she exclaimed, that's
little Johnny Green, from next door,
Chicago Tribune
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
IN

Sunday morning came, gloomy
cloudy, with the wind still moaning
among the almost leafess branches and
whirling dust-clouds from the crooked
road. After night of so much excite.
ment camp slept late. Lambert was
aroused somewhere about seven by a
scratching at the tent flap, and Sergt
Burns, answering the summons tc
come in," polled his freshly shaved face
through a framing of white canvas to
ask if he might send the lieutenant some
breakfast from the cook-fire. 1t was
barely "a hours since his arrival in camp
and so crowded had these hours been
with event. experience and novelty that
the young officer seemed to feel he had
been month on duty. There lay his
blue flannel blouse at the foot of his cot.
Unseen hands had tossed it from the
window at which on his first appear
ance the previous night slender. white
robed form had been piteously crying
for help. He drew it to him and
searched the left shoulder strap. Yes!
Even now three or four curling hairs
were twining like the tendrils of q vine
about its dead-gold border and across
the field of sky-blue velvet-anether
vogue to the day. she had time to dis
entangle the mass. but could not see
these fine filaments in so dim light %
he laughed to himself. only fancy
what my Merrimac madre would say if
she were to hear that pretty head
southern girls head-had been resting
on my shoulder the very first night l
got here! Only fancy what the damsel
herself would say. if she had chance to
say anything. And as her mamma
we'll. what wouldn't she say?"
Lambert had lots to think of as he
made his soldier toilet and came forth
into the gloomy. moisture-laiden air,
for the southeasterly wind was sweep
ing the rain clouds up from the distant
gulf. and nature looked bleak and dis
NAL. Two items occurred to give him
comfort. No sooner had he stepped out
into the open space than the one sentry
at the other end of the camp shouted:
Turn out the guard-commanding of
ficer!' which was unnecessary at the
distance and under the circumstances,
yet clearly proved that the disposition
among the men was to brace up" in
recognition of the arrival of an officer
who knew what discipline meant.
And then. looking suspiciously as
though he had been waiting for chance
to undo the i'll effect of his blunder of
the previous day. there in front of
Burns tentstood Corporal Cunningham.
company clerk; and the salute with
which he honored the camp commander
was as pregnant with good intent as it
was clumsy in execution. Somebody
had placed an empty clothing box by
the side of the tent, covered it with can
vas fly, and set this improvised table for
one with the best tins the company mess
afforded. Somebody else had carefully
blacked the lieutenant's boots and shoes,
and presently up came young German
soldier bearing the lieutenant's break
fast on the company cooks breadboard.
which was covered with clean white
towel.
I'm N co,srrwnenY
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
Gross OutraRes

Upon the stomach and bowels are perpe-
trated by multitudes of injudcious people
who, upon experiencing the annoyance of
constipation in a slight degree, infiltrate
their bowels with drenching evacuants,
which enfecble the intestinal membrane to
a serious extent, sometimes, even, super
Stomach Bitters is the true succedaneum for
these nostrums, since it is at once invigorat-
ing, gentle and effectual. 1t also banishes
dyspepsia, malarial complaints, rheumatism
and kidney troubles.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
Boundles. Erotism.

'You ought to give up trying to sing.
when you sing of an evening" said Gihooly
to vocalist.
They don't do that because my singing
is bad; on the contrary, they smash my win
dows they can hear better. '-Tammany
Times
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
A Mild Attnck.

Beefneck Bill-Wot's come of your pard-
ner?
Strongarm .Jake-I shook i'm. He got re-
ligion already.
20! Quit the business. has he?"
He always wanted to open safe with
prayer. '-Cincinnati Inquirer.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

These here quick firing guns said Rub
berneck Bill, critically examining the
weapon left by the gentleman who was be-
ing buried--"these here quick firing guns
amt so important a quick drawing man
behind EN-. "-indianapolis Journal
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

Prof. Braintank-Newton was a great
philosopher. By observing the mere fall of
an apple he discovered the law of gravity.
Smithers-That's nothing By simply bit
ing an apple Eve discovered the gravity OF
lawn. Y. journal.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
Willing to Wait.

His Fiancee-I should tell you, baron, that
will not have a penny of my own until dear
mamma is called away,
Baron Won Stonyhausen - Den We musd
vait vid patience for OF you call de happy
day." my leetle loafi-Boston Traveller.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
More Terrible

Hewitt-My wife was looking for a dry
goods store yesterday and by mistake she
walked into a saloon next door.
Jewett-That was terrible
Yes, she found me inside. IN. Y.
Truth.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
At Narraxanaetf.

Her Father-You have saved nv
daughter from watery grave. How
can 1 repay you?
Her Rescuer-Oh, the charge will be
included in your hotel bill-N. Y.
World.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

Mistress-"What in the world a.s you
putting ashes the floor for. Blidget?"
''Shure, ma am, an didn't yea As t. doost
the parlor!"-Brooklyn Life
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
Halls Catnrrh Cure
Is taken internally Price 75c.
The ALTERNATIVES

Customer-Chalk down that shave; I'm
broke.
Barber-We don't trust. If you can't
raise ten cents raise whiskers Judge
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

Piso's Cure cured me of a Throat and
Lung trouble of three years standing.-E
Cady. Huntington. Iud, Nov. IL 1894.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

A woman should never accept lover
without the consent of her heart. nor n hus-
band without the consent of her Judgment.
- Ninon de fEnclos
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

Fits stopped free and permanent, cured.
No fits after first days use of DR.. Kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Free 81 trial bottle 4
treatise DR.. Kline, 933 Arch st. Phila Pa.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

What Is the age of chivalry, Aunt Pencil.
ope" Those good old times when men
tell in love with women over forty."-Tit-
BitS.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17

Many a woman do exquisite EN-.
broldery. hut can't darn r. sock .-Washing.
ton Democrat
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
The Beauty of the Palisades.

So much has been said of the beauties
of the Palisades. and their threatened
mutilation by the quarrymen has been
so loudly lamented, that shall doubt
less be challenged for saying that ]
find little of the Palisades in the land
scape goes a great way! They begin
well at the north, and they die away
gracefully enough at the southern end;
but between these two extremities they
seem to me, after 50-odd years of famil-
iarity, rather forbidding than grand,
rather hammered than graceful. How
they may look after another half
century, when their heights shall be
crowned by buildings cottages and
palaces, churches and monasteries-
their now rude and threatening sides
hung with terraced gardens and made
accessible by roads of Roman build, we
may please ourselves by fancying-
Clarence Cook, in Century
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
AMAZONS OF AFRICA.
Interesting Facts from n Reliable
Authority.

One of the most picturesque of the
African institutions, which are dlsap-
pearing as England, Germany and other
European nations take possession of
the continent, is the Amazon army OF
the Guinea coast. 1t is possible that
the stories told of these AmaZons have
been much exaggerated, but the ac-
counts of them given by entirely re-
liable authorities are too interesting
to need establishment of any kind.
When Capt. Burton visited Cana, in
West Africa, the Amazon army, which
he first encountered near that place,
consisted of $500 women, who were
served by other women, held as slaves
for them.
The Amazon soldiers consisted of
women of two kinds-those who were
originally spinsters, selected by the
king for the service. and those who had
been separated from their husbands.
Although enlistment among the Anna
IONS was looked on as an honor, it was
also used as punishment for any wife
whose temper was so domineering that
ner husband found her insupportable.
About one-third of the army had been
married women. The rest were maid
ems, watched with the greatest care
to prevent them from indulging the
human weakness of falling in love. A
fetish, placed over the gate of the camp.
was supposed to have the power of de-
tecting them. but if in spite of it they
broke their laws of military conduct
they and their accomplices were put
to death.
Their uniform consisted of blue and
white tunic without sleeves and pet
ticoat, under which they wore pair
of short trousers, much like the bicycle
boomers of the United States Over
the whole was strapped the ammunition
belt. The muskets carried by the wom-
en- were Anticipated, and, as they
rammed the ball down on the powder
without wadding, they were never like
ly to hit anything they aimed at
The Amazon army was divided into
battalions, one of the most curious of
which was the razor brigade" armed
with razors two feet long. used in cut
ting off the heads of enemies killed by
the others or of criminals condemned
to death.-N. Y. World.
The Kinsley graphic. [volume] (Kinsley, Kan.) 1890-1940, 1897-09-17
To Cure n Cold in One Day
The Main Thing.

Take Laxative Bromo Qunine Tablets. All
druggists refund money if it fails to cure. Csc.
Omaha daily bee., 1897-10-29
INSTRUCTIONS TO VOTERS.
l. Persons desirlng to vote must procure u

l. II
. r h n ~
a
nj o.
to h
h rallied
fy to d o a who's 10
OF h
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arHm mmSsga sndr h i an ~
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rno the candidate ci 5 h
show
rneveah hnnr any nrr"t than on o
c
who odonn w the ld "
ehangh the ong place
shall tdaea ofhe s o t convict there in OF e
,tnInabt nb fined in less
Omaha daily bee., 1897-10-29

ling with a petition to form a new school
district out of portions of No. 4 and No.
l. remonstrance was also presented to
the superintendent by the residents of
district No. 4. 1t began to look as if the
new district would be formed when the op-
posing factions agreed to bury the hatchet.
Kas agreed to dismiss his injunction eult
and the demonstrators agreed to withdraw
their objections to the formation of a new
district
About this time the residents of district
No. |, in which the village of Bellevue is
situated, discovered that the formation of
the new district as proposed would deprive
them of their portion OF the license money
arising from the saloons at Fort Crook City,
and also of about 100000 worth of taxable
property. This taxable property included in
the neghborhood of three miles of railroad.
Now the BelIevue!tes are out with a remOn-
STRANGE which will be presented to the
county superintendent today District No.
claims that their schools will be greatly
injured by the proposed cutting off of so
much of their revenue, and the burdens OF
taxation increased. Residents in this dis
trict are now assessed seventeen mills on
the dollar for school purposes Preparations
have been made to appeal to the courts In
case the county superintendent agrees to the
formation of new district
Omaha daily bee., 1897-10-29
raalz 3, 81 &; 8, q. ,a,.
South Omaha News
81 Il III Il IgG Ii i Ii q II iSi q

The fight between the rival school boards
in District No. of Sarpy county, which is
known as the Avery district, is again on in
dead earnest. Some time ago a proposition
was submitted to settle the controversy be-
tween the two boards by the district paying
the costs and attorneys fees, and the old
board resigning and stepping down and out.
This proposition received favorable con-
sideration by all OF the members of the new
board except Jay j. Smith, who, feeling safe
because of being a member Of both boards,
refused to agree to the proposed settlement
and compromise Smiths attitude became
so obnoxious to Charles Chandler, who was a
member of the new board, that he rendered
his resignation and refused to have anything
further to do with the affair,
After 1t became apparent that no com
promise could be reached the members of the
old board instituted quo warranto proceedings
against the parties claiming to constitute the
new board to oust them from authority. The
papers have been served and it Is expected
that hot fight will enSue.
The cause OF all the trouble seems to be
the fact that for thirty years past two
brothers, Charles and William Smith, and
their families have lived in this district and
have waged continual warfare against each
other. William smith has been director of
the school board for nearly forty years. The
other Smith family have tried for years to
defeat him, but without success until the
last annual meeting when they undertook
to oust William by changing to a high
school district and eleetng an entire new
board of six members, William Smith de-
clares that this action was not according to
law and consequently there was no election.
Where the matter will finally end is matter
OF conjecture,
Trouble has also broken out afresh in dis
trict No. 4. which is few miles farther
south The organization of the new village
Of Fort Crook has been the cause OF all the
discord in that section. Soon after the or
| ganiZation Of Fort Crook City a special
| school meeting was called in this district a
| part of which is included within the corpo-
rate limits of the new village The purpose
| of this meeting was the selection Of an ad-
| ditional school cite and the erection thereon
| OF a new school house. Adam Kas and j. j.
| Zucher wanted the new school house located
| in the north end OF the district Residents
| OF the south end wanted the distance from
| north to south equalzed so that they might
| share the benefit of the new school The
south enders prevailed by vote of two to
| one and the site was located on the old
| Butterfeld farm. Kas then brought suit
TO enjoin the erection Of the proposed school
| house.
After this he started his forces out hust-
Omaha daily bee., 1897-10-29
JAMES fAGlN'S HASTY EXIT
Takes a Large Quantity of stryohnine tt
Eud His L fe.
LATER RECoNSlD:RS HIS HAsTY ACTION
Tells His Troubles 10 Policeman
Who Turns Him Over to CITY
Physicinn-Dies Early This
Morning.

James Fagin, laboring man 30 years OF
ago, put an end to his life last night by
swallowing a large quantity of strychoine.
He bought the poison at Il drug store at
Sixteenth and Howard streets and continued
on his way down town. BY the time he had
reached Douglas street he had turned the
matter so completely over in his mind as TO
have misgivings regarding his action, Ac-
cordingIy, he found Officer Fiske and told
his experIeoce. The officer hurried Fagin into
Kuhn's drug store and an antdote was ad-
ministered, This with the poison and whisky
previously imbibed, rendered F4gin wretch
edly i'll and he was taken to the station and
attended by the city physician. Though
every effort was made to save his life, Fagln
died at 2;lO O'Clock this morning at ST.
Josephs hospital
Fagin has been in the employ OF Hugh
MuTphy, the contractor, and resides with his
sisters family in rooms at il9 South Eleventh
street When the latter, Mrs G. t. Garrin
was notified of her brothers. action, she did
not appear greatly surprised. She stated
that FagiD has not been working for the
last two days and has seemed to be broodiRs
over something. In answer TO her inquiry
he stated that he had had no trouble with his
employers, but that he simply felt uuwell,
Mrs Garrln states that previously to coming
to Omaha, four years ago, Fagin was intatu-
ated with a girl In Tekamah Neb Since
that time he has kept up a correspondence
with her. but owing to lack of means has
not been able to see her as he wished Al
+boueh Fagn had not eonhded in her Mrs
Garrin attributed his lack of spirits to dis
couragement regarding the future OF this at
tachment. She says, also, that Fagiu on oc-
gasions drinks a great deal and sometimes
ends a period of abstinance lasting for a
year in extreme dissipation. She believes
that he has lately entered upon one OF these
seasons.
The contractor who has employed Fagu
say1 that he has been working on a curbing
eaug engaged in the reconstruction of South
Sixteenth street. Fagin has done his work
satisfactorily and, although the contractor
has noticed his recent nonappearance, he
stated that there had been no intention oi
dlscharging him and that there had been nC
other trouble between them.
Mr.. Gerrin, the brother-in-law OF Fagln
visited him later in the nigAt and arranged
for his removal to the 81. Joseph's hospital
Omaha daily bee., 1897-10-29
NIuric CITY Gnssin.

Some improvements are being made to the
store house at Hammonds.
NJ. Quedly of Medicine Bow, Wyo., Is reg
istered at one of the hotels,
Mrs. James Ballard of ogden, Utah, Is here,
the guest of Mrs. c. A. Melcher.
w, A. Dodge of Lookout, Wyo,, was busi-
ness visitor in the city yesterday.
The 7-year-od son 81 Mr.. and Mrs. Joe
Mailander OF Sarpy Milts died yesterday.
Mrs. Hyatt, mother OF Mrs r. B. Mont
gomery, has returned from trip to Ohio.
Ex-Pcstmaster Thomas Wilkinson of Blair
was visitor in the city yesterday afternoon.
Sample ballots are now to be had at re-
publican headquarters in the Pioneer block.
Mayor Ensor signed the ordinance granting
a right of way across T. street to the Union
Stock Yards Railway company yesterday.
The two children OF William Cameron, Six
teenth and n streets, who are i'll with diph.
iberia, were reported considerably improved
yesterday.
Contractor Mcdonald was allowed estimates
on the addition to BroYn Park school at a
special meeting of the Ppard of Education
held last night. ,.,