The evening times. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1895-1902, 1897-07-15
Our Flexible Language.

"Dear me-" exclaimed Mis-. SIocner, as
she sat at brea kfast, the other morning, ana
perused the paper while heT husband was
hastily gulping down his food, for he was
late. as usual, this is terrible. mad dog
got loose IN the streets yesterday, and Is is
that the entire neighborhood stood on It's
head DO you suppose that is So Eddie:
VERY likely he replied.
but how could a neighborhood stand ON
it's head?"
..oh, that's a mere figure of speech. The
reporter meant that the Deighborhood was
excited-that 1t was thrown into comiho-
ton"
well, - the sweet little woman said, Il
don't see why they can't put such thingsin
plain English. SO people might under
stand them Goodness, IL must have been
frightfull IL says that Bowser took
little whirl through an alley and came up
smiling in front Of a schOolhouse, where
a large number of children were at play!
AS il a mad dog We're likely 70 smile! DO
YOU suppose the poor animal really did
snile?''
"of course not" her husband replied
THAT'S merely the reporters way or say
ing that the brute landed on its feet in
front OF the temple OF learning
LANDED on its feet? How else would 1t
be likely to land, / wonder? Any way, 1t
seems To me that coming up smiling Is
a very roundabout way of saying that
thing lands upon its feet. hen, II goes
on 10 say here that finally policeman
swooped down upon the scene and at once
called for new deal. He drew abob-tailed
flush, but decided to stay in on bluff.
Eddie, If you know what all this MEANS,
wish you'd explain it to me-"
"Oh," he said, Its more metaphor.
suppose the Policeman tried to scare the
dog away
That's a very queer way to put II" Mrs.
SpooneI unused. Il don't see why they
want to tell it in that way, anyhow. Down
here little farther it goes on to say that
Presently the doggie saw his royal high
ness in the blue clothes and evidently de-
cIded to engage him for the next waltz.
But the policeman was coy, and chased
himself up a tree in the school yard He
| then sat on limb, got out his popgun, and
began humming, Come, Birdie, Come" y
Mean while about everybody else had made
an excursion out of the vicinity or en-
gagged n reserved seat upon some roof
Well ii that is all true, exclaimed hclady,
| la wing her paper aside, 1.-THE policeman and
everybody else must have been crazy,
that's all I've got to say about It. The
iuea Of carrying Oh in such a manner with
mad dogr'
Yes" her husband murmured, at was
q foolish way to go about the business
But perhaps the reporter exaggerated it
u little, or he may not have been an eye
witness Of the affair. What finally became
of the purp?'
'Purp?" Mrs. SpOOner echoed. 81
haven't read anything about a-oh,
suppose YOU mean the mad dog. Let's
see. 1t says: The Policeman flourished
his gun and shot holes in almost every
house In the neightorhOod, but Fido didn't
seem TO mind that Bit Fido? Why,
Lack there it said the dogs name was
Eowser. Oh, psbaw! l don't believe a
word of this. But Fito didn't seem to
mind that bit. At last a venturesome
blacksmith turned the right flank OF the
enemy, nit linn back of the ear
with brick, and got away
without a scratch. Then, while The dear
little thing was groveling around, proba bl Y
thinking of home and mother, the policeman
revoly err there, now, it says revolver,
| aud IN omentago it said that he had gunl
reloaded his revolver. and, by CAREFUL Y
| placing the muzzle against the brute's
| forehead, succeededin putting a bullet where
it would do the most good. The dorglum
| then bit the dust Why, that's queer, the
account ends right there. 1t doen't say
| whether the dog was killed or mott
"Yes, itdoes, Mr. SpooneransweIed. 1T
| SAYS lie bit the dust
"Well, what has that to do with it?
| suppose he Bit the dust because he was
mad. mad dog will bite anything
won't it?''
my dear" said her husband arising to
| go, II am sometimes afraid that you will
take on wings while l am not here to
| atch YOU, and float away into ethereal
space. You are much too innocent for this
| world. Good-by.'
After he had gone she sat down and
| thought hard for long time, finally
| asking herself:
NOV. what could he have meant by
| that?''-Cleveland Leader.