Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-07-08
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q ess I'M ideifii;tt


Dean Farrar, and fell to talking of So
cial duties. Arnold admitted to being
fond of dining out. II rather like it,"
he said: lit is rather nice to meet peo-
pie" "Oh. yes replied Huxley, laugh
ing, but we are not all such everlast-
ing Cupids US your
An ambitious youth once sent his
first manuscript to Dumas, asking the
distinguished novelist to become his
collaboration. The latter, angrily seiz-
Ing his pen, wrote: How dare you, sir,
yoke together a horse and an ass?'
He received the following reply: How
dare you, sir, call me horse?" His
anger vanished, and lie laughingly
penned the following: Send on your
manuscript, my friend, l gladly ac-
cept your proposition"
A characteristic story is told of a
New England man and his wife, who
live very methodically. One evening,
at exactly 8 O'Clock, they went to the
Kitchen to make the final preparations
for the night. "Marthy." said the hus-
band, after few moments, 'hev ye
wiped the sink dry yit?" Yes. Jo-
siah." she replied; why do you ask?'
WELL he answered, Il did want a
drink. but guess III git along till the
morning."
The other day man was witness to
collision between a man and n wom-
an, both cyclists. ahead of him. The
latter got the worst of it. and. indeed,
was knocked over. while the other
wheeled away as though nothing had
happened. The witness came up and
assisted the lady to rise and remount
Now l am off after that fellow" he
It's not bit of good" she quietly re-
piled, hes my husbandw
Herbert Spencer plays billiards. Once,
at the Athenaeum Club. he played fifty
up with an antagonist. who ran out
without giving the author of The Syn
thetic System" chance of handling
his cue. 1t was very provoking. and
Mr.. Spencer felt constrained to speak
Sir he said. "a certain ability at
games of skill is an indication of a
well-balanced mind; but adroitness
such as you have just displayed is.
must inform you, strong presumptive
evidence of misspent YOUTH
James Payn tells of seeing an old
gentleman in the lavatory at Il club
putting soap into his mouth. after
which he murmured, THANK heaven,
it's all right Mr. Payn inquired very
delicately why on earth he did it..
''Well.' he said. I've had such an in
fernal cold for the last week that it
has taken away my taste: every day
I've tried whether can taste the soap.
To-day l can, so l shall not go home,
but dine at the club" And after that
he did so, extensively and with great
gusto.
Jones, professed relgionist, had
for years tainted Brown with his I'M
orthodox doubtings. At certain din
ner. given by Jones. the host became
obstreperously tipsy. Ladies We're
present. and after they had withdra wn.
Jones flung himself. with lighted CT
| gar, into chair beside his friend. BE
fore l die. old chap" he announced.
| rather thick of tongue, Pm determined
to convert you" las to the truth of
one DOGMA said Brown you've GER
tainly done So" (Which is that"
| mumbled Jones, with an almost bac-
chanal flourish of his cigar The ele-
| walton of the host
A Southern bishop arranged to spend
| three days during his annual visitatio
1 Of Of ho yr;+ T., f,,I
whose wife was famous housekeeper.
A negro boy was brought over from
| the plantation to be the bishops body
servant during his stay. The morning
| after his arrival, the bishop having
failed to make his appearance, Jake
was sent to summon him to breakfast,
and found him shaving. In a few mo-
mems Jake returned. looking much
! alarmed. "Where is the bishop" HE
say he'll be heah directly" what was
he doing:" "A-sharpenin' OBJ his teef."
The late Catholic bishop of New,
foundland mad a piano Of which he de
sired to dispose, and which a friend, Il
Protestant doctor. desired to purchase
Considerable chsff ensued before TIL.
| uaTSjlu WAS SIVu'k ul price WHICH
the bishop declared ruinously low. The
only vehicle in the town which would
accommodate the piano was the hearse
and in this /: was driven to the doe.
tors door. who came to the bishop in
high dudgecn. why on EARTH" he
asked, Ibid you send my piano home
III Il hcarsc:" The bishops eyes twin
Killed. as he answered.: "Why, Oh, be
cause it was such a dead bargain"
A few years ago the celebrated Pot
ter family, Of which Bishop Potter IL
member, held reunion. During The
banquet that followed, the variou.
heads OF the different families aros4
and gave q short account Of the pedi
grees and deeds Of their ancestors
After all the speakers had flushed
Hon. William NJ. Evarts, who wal
present as the legal adviser Of tae New
York branch, was called upon FOR {
| SDpech and responded by saving tia