The herald., 1897-07-18


Phelan, who was charged with selling
liquor in violation of the law. Phelan
was hard drinker and had face pref
ty nearly on the shade of boiled lob
ster. The case was opened, the prosecu
ton put in evidence that was simply
incontrovertible, and everyone though.
Phelan was as good as convicted. When
the defense came to put in it's side MI.
Thompson said: "Phelan, stand up!"
Phelan stood up, and Mr.. Thompson ther
said: Gentlemen of the jury, I want
you to look at the prisoner carefully, and
then 1 want you to say whether, in your
opinion man with such face as that
would ever be guilty of selling glass
of liquor" The point was clearly ap-
parent, and Phelan was acquitted.
NOT TOO OLD
This is a story that an Alabaman
tells about Senator Pettus and ex-Sena-
tor Pugh: During Mr.. Cleveland's first
administration Mr.. Pettus was anxious
to fill the place on the supreme bench
to which Senator Lamar was afterward
appointed. He applied to his friend Sem
ator Pugh, and the latter made an ear
nest and sincere appeal for the appoint
ment of Mr. Pettus. The president in
quired as to the age of Mr.. Pettus, and
when informed said that he was too
old. Senator Pugh communicated this
fact to Pettus and also suggested to an
other eminent but younger lawyer in his
state to apply for the place, as it was a
settled fact that southern man would
surely succeed to the vacancy. Senator
Pettus heard of Senator Pugh's letter to
the other friend and it made him mad
DIT 10 Xror !, ~ Id
Pugh, and asked to know by he did not
stand up for him. Pugh explained that
Mr.. Cleveland would not alter his deter
mination about not appointing man
of Pettus' age, but this did not satisfy
Pettus. Before leaving Pugh Pettus
said: We'll, may be too old to sit on the
supreme bench of the land, but am not
too old to sit in the senate, andyour seat
will just about fit me- Pettus was as
good as prophet. He succeeded Sena-
tor Pugh on the 4th of March last, and,
If am not mist aiken, occupies the iden-
teal seat which Pugh occupied during
former term. Senator Pugh was II
last December. Senator Pettue will be
rs on the 9Th of next month"
WHISTLER'S VAGUE LANDSCAPES
One night Whistler dropped into Sir
Henry Irvings rooms to dinner. Other
guests were present, but Whistler alone
was silent. Two of his landscapes
adorned the walls and apparently he
wanted no further entertainment. Every
few minues he would jump up from the
table to get a better view of his own
work. At length, after prolonged ex-
ANNA ton of these studies in a moon
light and moorland. he cried out:
Irving, Irving, look what you've
done!"
What's the matter?" inquired Irving.
calmly walking up to- the pictures.
"Matter?" Numbered Whistler; "why,
the matter is that these pictures have
been hung upside down. and you have
never noticed it. / suppose they have
been like this for months?"
II suppose they have" replied Irving,
''but I think might be excused, since
it has taken you-the man who painted
them-over an hour to discover that they
are upside down."
THE WARNING NEARLY FATAL
They are telling a story on a we'll
known Kentuckian, an applicant for
office, who had arranged with his con-
gressman to be presented to the presi-
dent.
"Give me pointer about the eti-
quette," he said.
ooh, it's simple" replied the congress-
man. "You address him as Mr. Presi-
dent and then add anything pleasant
and timely that may occur to you. He
won't be able to give us but few min
utes. you know"
II see he has taken to- horseback rid
ing. How would it do to mention that,
and thes refer to our own stock and
express the hope that he may have a
good mount?"
For Gods sake, mol" exclaimed the
congressman. Whatever you do, don't
talk horse, and, of course, steer clear of
those kindred topics with us-our pref
ty women and our fine whiskey. Be
easy and natural, but not conventional"
The man was presented to the. presi-
dent, when, to his great surprise, the
president himself began to talk horse
But the Kentucl1ian, obeying his con-
CHEESEMAN'S tip, said next to nothing on
that subject
A few days afterward the congress-
man called alone at the White House,
and the president said to him:
What sort of Kentuckian was that
you brought here the other day?"
"A tiptop one, sir; why?"
"Why, I tried to talk horse to- him, and
he didn't seem to know anything about
horses"
The congressman was strongly tempt
ed to tell the whole story, but as the
joke was really on himself he kept his
peace. But he is trying extra hard to
get the man a place as a salve for his
own conscience.
ELKINS MAKES HIMSELF POPULAR
Senator Elkins' reception room in his
Washington mansion is one of the most
magnificent in the city. Into this de-
partment delegation of West Virginia
mountaineers is ushered every morn
ing. 1t is composed Of the senator 8 con-
stituents, who in their homespun clothes
with trousers stuck in their boots and
big SLOUGH hats covering their long hair
make a picturesque contrast to the rici
surroundings of the senator's home. The
latchstring, however is always out fol
them. Elkins loves his mountaineel
friends. He likes their sturdiness ant
frankness They are men, not merely 81
many polished shoes. He gives then
cordial welcome, calling each man by hi:
first name and listening with the utmos
good nature and patience to every story
The other morning crowd ~ +b