Wheeling Sunday register. [volume] (Wheeling, W. Va.) 1882-1934, 1897-10-03

There seems to be some anxiety
among the Wheeling bicyclists as to
when the bed of the Ohio river will
be in shape for bicycle riding. They
are already talking of petition to
Council to have the river bed sprin-
killed. for their convenience.
The United States postal authorities
at Washington, after mature dilbera-
ton, have decided not to use green
stamps, as was advocated by some Of
the officials 1t is a comforting thing
to know positively that the red postage
stamps will stick.
The Brooke Chicago Marine Band,
which gave two concerts here lately,
has been persuaded to return, and on
October 10th will give an afternoon
and evening performance at Wheeling
Park. This city is to be congratulated
on being able to hear this well known
organization for so small an amount
is 81.
Anent the Marine Band, the follow
ing story is credited to Tom Brooke,
the leader, as we'll as to other we'll
known band leaders. 1t shows the
misuse of the title professor" when
it is applied Unfortunately to
musicians in general. Some years ago
Brooke was leading band at a small
country festival. The advent of the
band had been awaited with intense
interest by the audience, and when
they arrived the band men were
quickly surrounded by a surging
crowd which hemmed them in SO that
it was difficult for them to keep on
playing.
Brooke appealed to one of the COM
mittee to keep the crowd away, and
said that unless his men had more
room they could not play. The COM
mitteeman shook his hand warmly and
turning to the assembled multitude,
bawled out:
Gentlemen, stand back and give the
purfessers purfessers a chance to
play"
General Miles is to sail for this
country soon, and on his return. il he
wants to study actual war at close
range, he might come to West Virginia
and view the contest between the
Grand Army posts and the Republican
officials who are responsible for the
dispensatien of patronage.
New York and Philadelphia were
visited on Friday last with a suicide
epidemic The routes taken by the
different unfortunates was varied and
in some cases not the most desirable.
A suggestion: to those who contem-
plate taking their own life in the
future, might it be in order, we would
recommend as simple and easy
method with no attendant inconven-
fences, for the person or persons to
calmly lay their head on Russell
Sage's heart and freeze to death.
Col. P. Speedy, who wants to jump
from the suspension bridge and land
in the mud underneath, ought to go
slow. He might get his jumping ap-
parel soiled with West Virginia clay,
but even if he did he would still have
a clay worsted.
An exchange asks how long most
women are beautiful
OF course. that depends somewhat
on persons taste and opinion. but if
1t is left entirely to us, with our linn
tied experience, we should say that
about five feet and four inches.
Senator-elect Money, of Mississippi.
expects to see trouble over the island
OF Cuba, and says: Congress cannot
be held in check" If the Senator-elect
can hold Congress in anything, he
might get the checks cashed for him
self and then the members of the
House of Representatives would have
currency to buy Cuba.
Johnnie Rowan, of Wheeling. was
recently run over by the wheels OF =
two-horse beer wagon, and not a hone
In his body was found broken by the
surgeon who was called. Johnnie
when you grow up you must remember
this experience and take your beer in
smaller doses
We have fine selection Of fore;on
and domestic Suitings at $1s. 500 and
$23. The at, style and workmanshin
OF every garment is guaranteed,
FRED ]. HEM Z CO.
Tailors. Zoo Main Street