Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1897-05-08
HASA8IsISssss.F 'i
B ~ ssa*z

Heller hair is like sunshine! She
Ye-es: rs brighter some days thau
Others. Puck.
Shc-l can sympathizc with you.
was married once myself. Hc-But you
weren't married to woman.-'rld.
Bits.
She coming up suddenly)--Whers
did that wave go? He coughing and
strangling)-l swallowed it.-Dublin
World.
Melicent--Aren't bicycle lamps an.
noying? Miriam (vexatiously)--Yes:
mine goes out every time I run into
anybody'-Puck.
Dora-He said there was one thing
about me he didn't like. Cora-what
was that? Dora--Anothcr mans arm.
-Detroi, Free Press.
Nevada Justice (soisnnly)-1 now
pronounce you husband and wife
shake hands-take your corners-and
may the best man win!-Puck.
Now. they speak Of her rs an up-to.
date girl. What do you understand by
NbdNs VI. glri tuut - "
date Is up TO anything.
Flint see where Boston Is going 10
spend over $I.0O0.OOO on those pneu.
matte tubes. Flam--.That's lot Of
money 10 blow in.--Boston Post.
The world owes every man a iiv.
Ing" "Yes. and we don't get It col.
lcctcd until we have almost learned to
do without it."-Chicago Record.
Would you consider it proper to pre-
ce,le the father of Your sweetheart
down stairs.' 'lt may be proper. but
It ISN'T always safe."-Yalc Record.
so. Dorothy Is not going to marry
Mr.. Scrymserr NO; she kept talking
to him about books he hadn't read. and
he got irr.tated and broke the engage.
neut."-Puck.
The Tootpad-Only dollar and q
quarter? Come. where's the rest of yer
money? Mr.. 1saacs--Mein frcndt, it's
Ia real csdate undt It's In my vife's
name.-Puck.
Girl-H.s spine Is hurt. Another Girl
Then suppose his football days are
over. Girl-Oh, no. He can still play
N. W -ouSns "us
Detroit Journal.
.'Thero are six necessities. you know.
FOR a happy marriage" "what are
thcyf" First. a good husband" "And
the othcrs;' "Thc other five are mon.
ey."-1.a Caricaturc.
do you think. Harry. you could In.
ducc one or two boys to come to sun.
day school;'' II could bring onc.' he
replied de uddcr fcllers In our alloy
kin lick me."-Dublin World.
How is It that Wilson comes to the
club every night now? 1t used to DO
that we couldn't get him here once a
month" "Oh. he married last fall aud
settled down."-Detrolt Free Press.
"Thcaters ought TO he seated with
the women all on one side. and the men
on the other" "WhyI" 80 that when
men 60 out between the acts they can
tramp on each others tocs."-Detroit
Free Press.
Wlggs-The doctor told Browns wife
20 give him whisky II he had another
attack OF the fever and aguc. Wages
Has he had n relapse? Wlggs-Well,
he's been shaking for the drinks all the
af,crnoop.-Evcnlng Journal.
"Your wife has such q liquid voice"
said Mr. Fosdick to Mr.. Til. Yes
that's a pretty good name for It," re-
piled Mr.. TIL. Mr.. Fosdick looked NJ
!nquiringly, and Mr.. TIL added: II,
never dries up, you know."-Iiarpcr'i
Bazaar.
Artic-Darling. you have no idea how
anxious was while you We're coming
down the rope ladder. was SO afraid
you had not fastened 1t securely
above. Susle-You needn't have beer
alarmed. dear. Papa tied the knot f0l
mc.-Detroit Free Press.
Walker Home-l think will get {
lob wild one O. desc concerns wha
makes amat'ur photygraf outfits. OdOr
Gus Ol!ver-What? An 60 to work
Walker HOmer--WOrk? Nav! All IL
have TO tackle will DE to do de rest.
an dat will JUS suit me.-DetrOlt Free
prasS