The Indianapolis journal. [volume] (Indianapolis [Ind.]) 1867-1904, 1897-07-18
FOR FEMININE READERS
UNMARRIED DAUGHTERS SHOULD BE
ALLOWED PERSONAL FREEDOM.
Women Who Speak in Public Should
Have Special TraininE-SfmpIicity
Should Rule in Decorations.

II had never realized my mother as an
individual" said grown daughter, until
she came to visit our college at commence
ment. To me she had always been just
mother the dearest, best, most tender
and considerable of mothers, but I never.
compared her with any one, or saw her
she was to others, or thought of her as
noble woman able to hold her own any
where, till 1 look at her away from her
own background. At last I saw her with
level eyes, and l was proud of my mother"
To the mother it comes almost with a
shock, writes Mrs. Margaret Sangster, in
Christian Intelligencer, that her daughter,
the little girl whom she Graded in her
arms, whose little frocks she sat up at
night to finish, whose goings to and fro she
ordained, who was hers to rule and to
guide has become a personality, herself
grown up. When the daughter abides in
the household, slipping by unmarked stages
from childhood into youth, from youth into
maturity, the older woman often fails to
notice that the younger has emerged from
the period of pupilage and restraint and
too long holds fast to the reins of author
ity which should not be held over one whose
responsibilities are those of the adult hui
man being. We often meet undeveloped
womanhood, daughters who dwell in their
fathers houses with little freedom of ac-
ton, with no private purse, and with the
coercion of child life, long after the sweet
ness and the dependence of childish days
are over.
l have known women whose faces bore
tell-tale lines of discomfort, whose brown
hair began to show threads of silver, and
who chafed under their lack or personal
freedom yet felt entirely helpless to change
"a Their mothers
never discovered that the children were
grown up. Thcr still eXacted the peculiar
under tutors and governors to those who
bore rule over him or her. daughter
might be. forty but she could not go ON
visit or buy new gown, or JOIN class
or a club, or do anything small or great
without asking and obtaining her mothers
consent.
At a glance one sees how limiting and
dwarfing such condition must be. or
necessity and for loves sake, daughters
must always be deferential to mothers, but
there comes a day when they must stand
on their feet and answer for their own &C
dependent place in the world, so that
bride of eighteen may have more actual
freedom than a spinster of thirty. But
when a woman is grown up, whether single
or married, she is entitled to the privileges
of her age And if parents are wise and
can possibly afford it, they will secure to
the daughter at home, not Self-Supporting,
and living under their roof, enough money
regularly given as an allowance to keep
pauper If they cannot do this: and the
daughter desires it, as in case of need she
should desire it, they should interpose no
objection to her going out from home to
engage in whatever employment she is best
fitted for, or can most readily receive
training for.
When our daughters front us with level
eyes" something beyond motherhood and
childhood enters into the relation. "A high
err friendship, a full sympathy, dearer
bond may come with the years, and being
possible should certainly come to pass in
great sweetness and strength.