The Scranton tribune. [volume] (Scranton, Pa.) 1891-1910, 1897-10-29
STORYETTES.

when Gen. Lew wallace was serving
as territorial governor of New Mexico,
a few years ago, he shipped home to
Indiana a carload of curios for his
friends The collection included a di-
minutive Mexican burro, or donkey, in
tended for a neighbours child as a pet
When the car reached it's destination
the freight agent, in checking up the
contents of the car, misunderstood the
word "burro," and thinking that it was
the phonetic attempt of some illiterate
railroader to spell bureau" was un-
able to find any piece of furniture to
fit the bill of lading. On the other hand,
he found in the car long-eared dom
key not included in the bill. According
to custom, he promptly telegraphed
back to the shipping point: Car No.
1880, Albuquerque, consigned to wal
lace, arrived minus one bureau, plus
one jackass, Please trace and notify.
To a young lady who declared that
Kentucky produced the handsomest
women, the fastest horses and the best
whisky on earth, Gen. Grant once made
reply: IT uneQuivocally indorse the
first part of your statement As to
the horses, l admit that also, for | own
some of them myself, and l am con-
sidered a good judge of horsehesh. But
as to the whisky, you will pardon me
if | doubt your position. Whisky in
order to be good, must be old, and
your Kentucky men drink it up so fast
that it doesn't have time to get old. &"
While a Well-tO-do Partisan was re-
turning recently by train from Havre.
during the first hour his only follow
passenger in the compartment was a
young man who made himself very
agreeable. Then others got in and talk
was general. Finally the Partisan
dropped to sleep. Presently the young
man, turning to the other passengers,
with a wink toward the sleeping man,
said, in undertOne: 'I'll play a good
joke on my uncle" and he unfastened
the strap by which a small travelling
bag was slung over the shoulder of the
sleeper. IN change into the next
compartment at the first stop and my
uncle will wake up and think he has
been robbed 1t will be fun to see his
face and ! can watch through a little
glass in the partition. Don't give It
away" The others grinned apprecia-
lively and the young man presently
slipped out with the bag. Soon after
the owner of the bag woke up. He
missed his pouch from the strap and
jumped up in great excitement. eX-
| claiming: I've been robbed" The re.
sponse of his felow-passengers was a
roar of laughter. This added anger to
| the victims excitement and he stormed
| furiously Finally one of the passen-
| gers assured the angry man that his
| bag was all right; his nephew had il
! in the next compartment. MY
nephew" shouted the bewidered man
| Il haven't any nephew. / never had a
nephew. | don't know anything about
| any nephew" Then it was the turn oi
| the other passengers to be dumfounded
| But the thief got away and there were
| several thousand francs in the bag.
| \ young American who was bicycling
| i'm Southern France was pushing hi.
wheel up a steep hill when he overlook
a peasant with a dOnkey-cart who was
| rapidly becoming stalled, though tn,
little donkey was doing his best. TIL,
| benevolent Wheelman, putting his lef
| hand against the back of the cart anC
guiding his wheel with the other
pushed SO hard that the donkey taking
fresh courage, pulled the load up to tn,
top successfully. The summit reached
the peasant burst into thanks to hi
benefactor. 1T was very good of you
| monsieur" he said; II should never il
the world have got up the hill with onl!
one donkey.