The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1897-08-30
BASEBALL AS IT'S PLAYED.
PART OF THE PERFORMANCE FUR
NISHED BY THE NOISY CROWD.

NA"NAA eAAa INV saN
Out or the tame with Cheerful Promptneus.
For a quarter extra you get a seat in the grand
stand at the ball game. This is directly behind
tho home plato, and affords an excellent view of
tho work Of the battery and an equally excel
lent hearing OF the lanRuag addressed to the
umpire. Tho language 10 quito excessively au-
diblc. There are usually a number OF ladies in
tho grand stand, but this doesn't seem to make
any difference, and as yet the habit Of stuflng
ones ears with cotton before the game begins
has not become general. Thcrell como a time
some day.
Not very long ago a Sun reporter went to ono
OF the League ball games played in this vicinity.
Whether 1t was in New York or Brooklyn has
no particular bearing. 1t was, 80 experienced
enthusiasts said, q fairly typical game as tho
gamo Is now played. The reporter does not
know much about baseball technically, but
he can understand the English language, SO he
got his moneys worth. There were. as usual,
two teams in tho game, a largo and furious
crowd, and the umpire. This latter individual
was a'small, agile man with an aggressive chin
whichibut family expressed the immovablede
mination which was his chief characteristic.
He may be, as the crowd with enthusiastic fro
quency declared no was, q robbor. crook. liar,
p~erjurer, murderer. sheep stealer, yellow dog.
horse thief. and many other kinds Of person un-
desirable to specify. As far as an outsider could
tell, his work at this particular game did not
seem to justify this description. Ono thing he
certainly was-the area Of low pressure about
which the storm centred. The chief incidents
OF the game by innings follow. 1t should be un.
d~orstood that tho blank spaces In this account
are used, not In intensifoation, but in mitlga-
tion OF the language spoken:
The umpire-out
The Runner OF the Visiting Team-Ah, what
The Captain of the Visiting Team--say, you
tariier. you make me sickl You don't know how
The TnIpirc-outl Play ball.
The Runner-W'y. you you never
The sCrowd-Fine himl Call him inl Putin
The Ilnpire-shut up and play ball.
Second Inning: Home team AZ mo bat
The Crowd-Lam it out, Stubsy!
The u~mpire-Two strikes.
The The s6 er5tSf-TsS; sTf y Ro tfSan. ! R 10 %sH
The Umpiro-Three strikes;
The Batter, his Captain and Most OF the Team
Tho Megaphono Man from the bleachers,-
Mr.. Umpire. you've been bri6ed; CTpmuituons
applause from tho entire crowd. The umpire
elbows gum unconcernedly.)
The Pitcher OF the Visiting Team-Wot's do
matter wit yeri Cancher see do BALL Dat
The Umpire-Two balls. Go on and pitch.
The Pitcher-llow's DAFT
The f pl1PPhsr-Meii& Oall explode, into incohe.
The crowd in high glee,-Make him split the
plate. Don't let him scare you, old man. You're
u square umpire.
The Umpire item seconds later,-Two strikes.
Tho C~roId-Get another umpire: You're
crooked. Run him out. stop the game!
YOU 80 sawed-oif N-~ OF u thief, are you
tryin' to do us out Of the game you'll
fhe Umpire tunconcernedly drawing a watch)
I'll give you two minutes to play.
The crowd yells murderously.
The home team shouts fearful threats.
The umpire chews gum for l minute and 30
The Batter on whom the two strikes have been
called-Now. = you. do get a showi
The Umpire-Thirty seconds more.
The Captain-Play ball, then; but OF all tho
The Umpire Gntcrruptingi-IW put you and a
few other men out Of tho game the next time I
Comparative peace and quiet ensues for threo
innings, except for the yawps OF tho megaphone
man.
f sssf n mn inning; on third.
The Crowd-oh! On! Hes at 1t again. XIII
The Third Bsscman of the Home Team-You're
The tmpire-Ton dollars ine.
The Third BS sse1 the game III punch
The U~mpire-Get out of the game.
offending player has 10 go, while the crowd yells
for the umpire's blood.
TTi bse um inh,ns ball.
Bill! Run 1t hardl
Tne .mpre-Fou! ball; come mi
Thu MsSs"Phone M~an-That'S right. Call tho
The visiting Team-Call that a foul, YOU
-. i struck ten feet inside the line.
The Impire-Baiter up,
his list under the umpire's ~nosel-Smell o that!
Fer a cent I'd soak yer one
The Umpire-Gct out Of the game.
And he had 10 go, while the crowd roared it's
approval and the visiting team swore itself
black in tho face.
Ninth inning,
The Visiting ~Team-Slidc. Cory. slide!
The C~mpirc-You're out.
The Runner-Not by a - sight!
The Megaphone Man-Mr. Umpire. you're a
You're . s'm CeemPr e1""'%s j iis t"o Of spithsts
collected from all the slums and dives between
The Umpire (pushing a fist from under his
nose)-Ill only fine you $40 now. but II you'll do
that after the game I'll send you to a hospital.
The Captain of tho Homo Team las they como
to batl-Only one run to tie. boys. Hit her out,
The Crowd-soak It'll Nail the balll The
pitchers a stuff He can't get 'em over. You've
got him ratified.
The visiting Pitcher crushing in at himt
The UmSpire.Ten; dollars.
The Visiting Team lgalloping in from the held)
soak S7s him one, the st,er two mIcr... ~ what t.,
any other place but a friendly game would be
cons!dered q disgracef4l riot.
The Crowd-Lynch him!
The Megaphone Man-Mr. Umpire. you're q
- yellow purp.
The Home Team-I you ever show your -
- face hero TO umpire again. We'll murder
you.
The Umpire-Two out. Play ball.
The Crowd las the batter hits a groundcr)-Run
It Quit!
The Umpire ION a close decision which ends the
game)-Outi
The Home Team and the crowd in chorus
Kill him!
The umpire makes for tho dressing room, the
crowd puurs down over the field rowling, and
amid q sunburst of amazing profanity and un
printable abuse the great national game of a
highly civilized nation ends.
1t doesn't always end 80 peacefully. Sometimes
they assault the umpire.
4 GIRL CAPTURES 4 TRAMP