davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
NUTS FOR THE HOLIDAYS.
TIC Demand Promises to BE Greatsr
Than Ever This Year,

fhc Demand Promises to Be Greater
Than Ever This Year.
me demand for nuts promises to be
greater this year than ever before" said
a wholesale dealer in such produce in New
York to a writer for The Star Sales are
at present very large, and heavy shipments
of from 10,Gr9 to $1,000 bags or cases OF
nuts from all parts of the world are ar
irving in this city nearly every day. Now
adays nuts constitute just as prominent a
part in the Christmas festivities In Amer
lea as they do in Scotland on Halloween
The most important item in the nut bust
ness is the walnut and many claim they
are the sweetest nut grown Formerly
these nuts came almost entirely from Bor-
deauX, but the French nut is now apt to
be very poor article. When opened the
Kernel IS likely to be found shrunken in
the shell, and the meat is dry and of an in
ferior quality. The finest walnuts come
from Naples. They are the cleanest, and
the kernels are full. fresh and of a fine
flavor. New York imports from 1900 to
15,HD bags of the French nuts and from
10000 to 1900 cases Of the Italian product
annually.
The California walnuts, particularly
those from the Los Nietas district rank
next. They are reliable, and have some
of the flavor Of those imported from
Naples. They are brought to New York
in sacks by the carload and sold to
stands in every city of the Union.
"The Brazil nut. which greatly resem-
hles the meat of the cocoanut but is very
much finer, is one of the most popular and
best selling Tuts in the market. All of
these nuts come from Rio Janeiro. The
number consumed in this country yearly
is about 10000 sacks.
Years ago the Christmas dessert was
composed chiefly of almonds raisfns, figs
and filberts, which the French called the
farm besgars.' because no adult would
touch them.
ITO young Americans. however. almonds
and raisins dear as ever and probably
to young French people also.
1.-The great rival of California is Spain,
and the almonds of Tarragora are i'm
ported to New York in vast quantities.
The common shelled almonds come direct
from Italy and through London from the
Valley of the Jordan. The exporters in
Palestine. however. have not acquired the
from the Span:ards of making their boxes
beautiful with gaudily colored Autographs.
and their boxes are merely plain. substan-
tial notwithstanding more
THE hazel nuts of which every boy and
girl is so fond, are grown largely through
out the United States Notwithstanding
the fact most of these nuts we eat are i'm
ported from Barcelona and England. Dur
ing the past year 100000 bushels were inn
ported from the former place.
Nearly all the dried figs that are put
up in small boxes and displayed every
where for sale in the United States and
Great Britain are exported from Turkey
and Samaria. Fresh ripened figs are now
being sent to this country. They are put
up in tins and their sale will be very large
during the winter"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
COxEY WAS NOT WANTED

"Gen." ]. 8. Coxey is preparing to attack
| the south on a lecture tour. but does not
appear to be receiving much encourage
ment from that direction. 1.-The other day."
said southern man to Star reporter, "a
citizen Of my home town received a letter
from the Massillon man intimating a desire
to lecture there, and asking how every
thing would so. If Coxey gets the same
Kind of letter from every other town
he did from there he will not tackle the
south on lecturing tour. This is what
my friend wrote him:
You will pardon ME if 1 make a few
suggestions to you about your southern
tour In the first place. don't come AS
private citizen you would be welcome but
as an agltator you would be throwing away
your breath. We do not need YOU. 1t is
true we are poor, and with cotton at 3
cents the future looks black but in no
sec.ion OF these United States is the spirit
OF American institutions or the love Of old
time liberty SO strong in the south Be
sides, general. there is a faint suspicion
that Mark Hanna has one of the fingers of
his fine Italian hand somewhere on your
head, and We neither love him nor his help
erS.
without seeming to dictate, we sug-
gest that you go up into New England.
You doubtless could help the mill men in
crease their shrunken dividends and reduce
working time to five hours a day.
1T is source of no bitter regret that
cannot encourage your coming to this Sec
non The south is somewhat peculiar.
There are other great men whom she has
been slow to accord the high honor which
ctner sections of the Union has early in
sisted on giving But the tramp is an alien
ana stranger in the southland, and though
ne may occasionally inspect our railroad
tles. ne never meets the warm welcome
mere or teels the exhlaration that comes
TO him In the middle and New England
states.
Now my dear general, if you will come
a1ter this. do delay your trip until next
spring: We have never thought they
treated you fair in making you keep off the
grass in Washington. AS much as we fail
10 appreciate you. we will not keep you off
the grass here. Our mayor is entirely in
accord with you in your view as to making
the buns work the streets, and they are
pretty grassy i'll the spring. l am sure he
~ouid insist on your staying on the grass
ABOUT ten or twenty days. Should this fail
10 Satlsty your morbid appetite for staying
on the grass, I've a former friend or two
VINO might accommodate you by putting
you on few acres of crab grass"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
Never Noticed the Change.

The remark that a famous general made
upon being asked how he liked Texas
that if he owned Texas and hell he would
rent out Texas and live In hell-is familiar
to many, but in the matter of nicely of a
point the reply of an inkeeper near Dallas,
Texas, TO about the same question, de-
serves even more attention than the famous
utterance referred to. This inkeeper had
moved several times from state to state
and had finally located in Texas. where he
had met reverses, and had about made up
his mind to decamp once more when he
was asked by a chance customer IL he
liked the place. His reply was in the form
of story.
There was once a man who moved from
Kentucky to Nebraska, from Nebraska to
Arizona, from Arizona to Texas. and then
he died and went to hell, but the change
was so gradual he never noticed it,"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
JOKES by THE YARD.
Professional Jest Maker Discus.e.
HumOr n Business


HumOr as Business
The common or garden Joke in the comic
papers of America and England has como
TO be as much Of mechanical product as
any otEer of the minor articles of com
merce. Indeed wel-known professional
Jest manufacturer" (the designa ton is his
OWN has reduced his daily labor to the
perfect system of the factory.
In brief talk with this business burnor-
list he outlined his scheme of work "a fol.
lows:
My notebook Is the storehouse for raw
material. Therein are jotted down all suy
gestions ideas and events which NAV he
elaborated into jokes. I rarely have an in
spiration, pure and simple. NY family and
friends, my chance acquaintances, and the
people and sights I encounter SUNNY the
unrefined joke. Right here 1 want to ac.
knowledge the debt that owe to nv hard
working ond conscientious baby, aetat one
year. This admirable child is one of the
largest daily contributors Of raw material
for my joke factory. Before his arrival I
had to get my infant humor at second
hand from other peoples nurseries. It
really pays a manufacturer to be his own
producer. :"
my jokes. roughly, Jotted down. are on
each Monday morning carefully sorted.
The Thanksgiving output Is thus ready by
July 4. and the Christmas supplies can be
placed on the market BY Indebtedness.
with regard to the new perforated Joke
broadsheet-my own invention-I should
like to say a word. I have had made to
order huge sheet Of writing paper. per
forated after the manner of postage stamps
into rectangular subdivisions of equal size.
Each subdivisiog is Just large enough for
joke, and has my name and address
In
write in my jokes, one joke to a rectangu-
lar slip; and then, folding up the entire
broadsheet, maif It to the best-paying and
most desirable c6mic paper on my list
''The editor looks over the jokes and
picks out the ones he wants. These he de-
taches by tearing along the perforated
lines and sends back the remainder. Again
I mail the broadsheet to comic paper No.
2, and the same process Of selection ia gone
through. When all the humorous journals
have been given a chance my mutilated
broadsheet Is sent the rounds OF the trade
papers; and these publications having de-
tached the best jokes remaining forward
what Ia left to England, where I find a
ready market for the remnant
'"The system is an excellent one, obyiat-
ing the use Of scissors. Latterly I have
been covering the backs Of my Joke broad
sheet with mucilage agreeably favored.
so that the busy comic editor does not have
to bother about his paste pot, either.
II have bean thinking about fncorporat-
ing my joke industry, and really do not
see why great Wit and humor paragraph
trust should nst b one OF the events Of the
future"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11

OF SAINT. An times wah powful hahd"
Does yer s'pose he noticed de hahd
times?"
"Cohse. Eb'rybody in dis neighborhood
done notice de hahd times"
Does he b'long ter dis neighborhood?"
Il reckons yer mout say he did. Don't
you go layin' up no hahd feelin's bout de
way he didn' leave Yer no gifts las yah.
/ specks mebbe 'twa'n't altergevvuh his
fault"
Oats whut l sposed. My min toll me
dat l mustn't go back on i'm, an Is much
'bliged ter i'm jes' de same"
II doesn't see dat dah's any 'casion foh
much-obligeness. He didn' leave yer nuf-
fin"
mo But eff Sanity Claus b'long ter dis
here neighborhood he done pooty good no,
ter steal de stockin's."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11

This has gone far enough, sir. / am
going to fine you"
But, jedge, 1 amt the Teller that's on
trial.
Il have the right to fine you. and / IN
going to do it,"
What fur?''
For contempt Of court
ION account of somethin / said?'
Certainly"
"All right. jedge. How much'll II be-"
Ten dollars
The witness reached into his pocket and
slowly produced some money. I'm sorry
TO part with it, he said. counting it over
though I've got enough left. I'm thankful
to say, for all necessities. But I tell you
what jedge, eff you'd a-been a mind reader
I'd a-gone clean broke"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11

Ai'st CcioSSdi eSOUlStS
of the era. But he
has sunk his identity
in that of the boy to
an extent that makes
his a case of COM
plete sclf-efracement
'Smart?" he ex-
claimed the other
day. Hes a prod
igy.'
Aren't you afraid
he'll get over IT," in
CURED the friend,
who sometimes feels
that he would rather
listen to BoS2s than
work.
wv hat do you
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11

From the Chicago Post.
There mad been some harsh words from
each on the faults of the opposite sex, and
she finally gave what she thought would
be a Parting shot.
You rail at u.s." she said, land make
fun of us, but what, L ask you, would
you do without women
Get rich,'' ne replied promptly. and she
was so Indignant that it took her three
weeks to make up her mind to ask for q
new bonnet.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11

Cap" said Broncho Bob addressing a.
man who was a comparative stranger in
Crimson Gulch, did you ever study medi-
cine?''
Yes. But 1 never practiced"
Il dent want anything practical It's too
late fur that All l want is little theory
L heard a teller that used to be on a rail-
road talkin' and he's got me guessln'. What
l want TO know is whether there Is any
disease that makes a man think that one
color is another and vicy-reversy"
"Oh. yes. Color blindness is by no means
an uncommon malady. 1t occurs so ire
quently that the railway companies have
to hold examinations every now and then
SO as to make sure that their men are bic
to distinguish signals"
Don't the railroads never have no sus-
picions?"
"Of WHAT"
'Of the mems tryin' to work off a bluff,
mebbe."
No. 1t is very much to the mems dis
advantage to be afflicted with color blind
ness. They try to conceal it,"
well, then" was the re1einder, after
long silence, under the circumstances an
all things considered. 1 shouldn't be sur
prised ef we'd been an gone an done it,
Me an the seventeen other members Of
the jury"
ny, there are usually only twelve on
a jury"
That's what Three-F1nger Sam said.
But we happened to have eighteen men
handy an we didn't wanter act skinny an
give anybody room to say that mebbe
Greaser Joe didn't git the full benefit of
law"
What was the charge against him?'
General onreiiability. When he called a
hand, he had a way O. droppin' the poker
chips kind O. careless into the middle OF
the pile SOS nobody'd be likely to notice
'em close. OF course eff we'd have known
about this OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES might nave
waited an Investigated. But he got into
such habit Of mistaken white chips fur
blue ones that we concluded we'd better
take the case in hand. An / dunno's It
makes such a terrible lot Of difference,
cause he couldn't OF gone on playfn' poker
with an affection like that an eff he
couldn't play poker I don't believe he'd
have cared much about livin', anyhow"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
AN INQUIRING LAD.
Personal Adjournment Which ApDenred
to BE Unnecesscry

when l was down in the Tennessee
mountains doing my turn in that peculiar
and primitive section" observed the speciaI
pension agent, Il had at various times such
gllmpses of life as you pampered children
OF the luxurious capital never get | re-
member one June morning l arose from nv
simple bed of clapboards on the loft floor
OF log cabin and proceeded down a ladder
to the earth. thence a hundred yards down
TO the creek. where l was afforded ample
opportunity for my matutinal ablutions. as
the stream was big enough to run a saw
mill with
As | splashed my face in the clear water
and spluttered over it after the usual fash
ion of a man who likes to wash his face T
was Joined by the ten-year-old son of the
family with which l was stopping. He
STOOD on the shore watching me with much
interest, which l am glad to say | returned
with zest, for he was a picture boy He
was sandy and freckled and didn't look as
II he had had bath in the memory of
man. His clothes were simple enough, con-
sistlng OF a cotton shirt and a made-over
pair of papa's pantaloOns, and there was
no hat to hide head of hair which I am
positive never felt the penetrating and per-
suading influence of comb He was too
much interested in the mysteries of nv tot
let to say anything until l took out a
pocket comb and began to use it on nv
tangled locks. After a tug or two at it,
looking at MIN meanwhile, he spoke.
Say, mister he said, curiously, have
yer got to do that there's?
DO what there? / smiled in reply,
That there that yer doin''
You mean combing my hair?'
yes
"'Of course, it has to be DONE
Every mornin this erway?'
Certainly
"'Well, geewhillerkins, mister he said
with much feeling, you must be heap O.
trouble to yerself.'''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
Unehanged.

From PUCK.
''Weyler seems to retain his military
tastes"
What do you mean?'
This paper says that he desires nothing
more than q quiet retreat"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
Tribes.

TF1nG0.
Only jes' q little minute
O. de sun in skies so gray,
Yet dar's heaps o. comfort in It,
Dat'll las froo-out de day.
'Twasn' much to talk about,
But It's hahd to do wivout.
Only 1es' little singin',
Std o. givin' way to tears,
Seems ter set de world a-swingin'
Easier fob de folks dat hears.
May not SCUM like what 1t should.
But 1t do a sight o. good.
Only jes' a word may often
Soothe friend when sorrows smaht;
Only tes' a look may soften
Into pity some hahd h'aht.
Years seems mighty as dey go,
It's de moments makes 'em 20.
Frequently half suspicious
Lots o. folks hay few de track;
Dat dis earf an its conditions
Isn't measured up exack.
Dat de mos importantes'
= Thing In life Ia 'only jes."
C0ngratulating Himself.
It was q primitive court Of justice. The
bench had been considerably annoyed by
the familiar manner and Irrelevant re-
marks Of the witness and concluded to
make an example OF him. A pretext soon
presented itself and the Judge exclaimed:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
Another ArchEeOIOsi.t,

IL young Mr.. Boggs had ever appreciated
hlmseit to the degree that he appreciates
MS youngest son, he would be one of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
From LIE,
In Sparta.

Keeper Of the palace-'Here IL an order
for the destruction Of the statues Of the
kings parentA
Observation-Disclosures
Even %. It u the command Of the king.
He wishes to get even with them for nam
Ing him EudamedaA".
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11
A Pleasant Task.
From Life.

n FIedSunt Tack.
From Life.
Insurance Agent-"Before filing the claim
will you be kind enough to give me a GER
tifcate of your husbands death, madame?'
The New Widow-"With pleasure"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-11

Two of the state statues to be unveiled
soon In the national statuary hall, at the
Capitol, Benton of Missouri and Kenna Of
West Virginia" said an old employe OF tine
Senate to a Star reporter. will have more
local interest than ordinarily, for the rea-
son that those whose memory Is to be hon
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1897-10-06
rHn nAx or AroNnMENT.

Last evening at 8 O'Clock began the
:: Amo0s Of the greatest Jewish fast
town, to,year. Ills known through
out rnapworld as Yom Kippur or the
day of atonement, and from Cape
Town to Stockholm and from the far
east to the new west, the people OF
Jewish faith will either listen to pro-
found addresses or listen to the regular
ritualistic services laid down for the
occasion.
1t is essentially q fast and all men
and women In good health are expected
TO abstain from other food and drink
than that prescribed. Continuous SER
vices are held and the responsive read
iugs are usually intoned and the pray
ers are said in both Hebrew and Eng
lish.
While atonement day Is not q day OF
confessions, all worshipers come to the
synagogue with q contrite heart ana
after having passed through the days
OF penitence from New Years, they are
supposed t. be made better for the en-.
suing year than they were in the past,
Those who have sinned, have been
made better by the period OF penitence
and those who have not sinned, receive
an incentive by the services to continue
in the virtue of their way. The inan-
ence that Yom Kippur has over the
Jew is most marked and for thousands
of yeers the people of this race have
observed the sacred fast with renewed
inspiration.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1897-10-06
INDEPENDENCE AS A TONIC.


A citizen with his hands and his
head full Of his own business, finds il
vastly convenient to imbibe the wisdom
of the passing day from swift perusal
of his favorite paper. or. on a pinch, to
apply for 1t at the mouth of the local
prophet Of the persuasion or party to
which he belongs. Habit confirms
and s~anctifes this indolent resignation
OF individuality In favor of masters
and teachers, and after q few years Of
this s~scollar'' service, the party man
cannot in sincerity, call his soul his
own, as he is afraid to utter q senti-
ment or breach an opinion until he
runs to the fountain head and ascer
tains whether it is orthodox or not.
The case of such men of weak mental
digestion, political d%yspeptics on strict
party diet, who dare not tast q slice OF
cucumber for fear that it grew on o
republican or democratic vine, as th.
case may be, is q hard one, but moi
necessarily a hopeless one. The Or
TIC would prescribe for such invalids
su ffering from inanition, or plethors
of restricted food, the wholesome tonlt
of independence.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1897-10-06

From our Regular Correspondent.
SANTA FE, N. M, October 9th, '97
Affairs in general are woefully quier
about Santa Fe this week, owing, per
haps, to the fact that a large contin
gent has gone off with Gov. Otero L,
view the silver serpent and other sight,
at the Denver festival. 1t makes a b Q
hole in this town to take out of it %,
active, moving, living citizens anc
citizenesses. The governor and his
good wife. pretty Miss La Rue, OF
Las Vegas, Territorial Secretary
Wallace and his sweet-faced better
half, MI. and Mrs. Page B. Otero, Col.
Jersey and Capt. James will reach
home on Friday night; the others will
come struggling in from one to tire,
days later.
The OPTICS good friend, Fred G..
Erb, who used to be station agent
down at Chapelle and who has done
well in the Hopewell mining district
during the summer, has anchored a.
Santa Fe for the winter. To-day he
closed a deal whereby ne assumes con.
troll Of the Claire hotel and about Sun.
day next be expects to open this hostel.
rie with all up-to-date trimmings
Both Mr.. Erb and his wife are expert
enced in the hotel business. Their
chef, Rein Smith, comes from Las
Vegas tomorrow. The Claire is a
good property, centrally located, hay.
ing a steam elevator, electric lights,
baths, is fire-proof and the rooms arr
large and well furnished. Mr.. Ero
will endeavor to make 1t special head
quarters for commercial tourists and
mining men.
Elwood MAIDEN, Who cleaned up
$4,000 in the liquor business at AL.
ouquerque during the boom days of
years ago, left here last night, accom-
panied by his wife, for Juneau, Alaska
They will go to the Yukon In Febru-
airy. MAIDEN has lately been running
a saloon at Red River city, and failed
His wealth OF former times is about
exhausted.
o. P. Posey, Of Los Angeles, one of
the owners of the "Tom-Boy" mine
At Telluride, Colo, and j. w. Carton,
a Denver expert, have been over to ex-
anime the 'sAlbemarle" group Of mines
at Cochiti, owned by Thos. Lowthian,
of Denver, one of the Elizabethtowp
pioneers of twenty years ago. A sale
Is on, revolving big money.
The land court quit business this at.
ternoo for the present term.
The palatial home of Hon. T. B.
Catron and wife is a blaze of glory to-
in celebration Of Don Tomas
birthday. Most all the nice folk in
town are on hand by special invitation
and Mrs. Catron assisted by Miss Jen.
ME Walz is dispensing royal hospital
tiles.
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1897-10-06

THERE are others. II you lose the
risk you are after-there are others il
you are duped by liars rare, do not
succumb to fell despair, nor your outer
garments tear-there are others; il
your friend deserts and mocks you
there are others; if your best girl firts
and shocks %you-there are others; you
are not the only jay who's been treated
In this way. and you can always gsily
say-there are others!
Las Vegas daily optic. [volume] (Las Vegas, N.M.) 1880-1908, 1897-10-06

THIS Is to be a great month this
year for all students of the science OF
prison-keeping. On the three days
beginning October 9TH and ending Oc-
tober 9th, an exhibition of all sorts of
things interesting to the penelogist, &C
companied by conferences, is to be-
held In the city of New York under the
direction of the New York psychological
8 society. Beginning on October 10th,
a1d concluding October 30th, the an
nual congress of the national prison
association of the United States is to
DO held at Indianapolis. It was the
original intention to hold the national
congress at Austin, Texas, but this was
considered inexpedient, in view Of the
outbreak of yellow fever in the south.