Crawford avalanche. (Grayling, Mich.) 1879-19??, 1897-09-02
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49,

/
| "Did YOU ever see so ugly n face al
| Miss Passay'sT II don't know. She's
| not SO bad rs she's painted. "-Pick-Me-
| Up.
Mamma, II am good will / go to
heavenY Mamma: Eyes, dear"
"How'll I get back ?'-Cincinnati Com
mercial Tribune.
"Waiter, 1t is almost half an hour
since / ordered that turtle SOUP"
Waiter: Sorry, sir, but you know how
slow turtles are."-Tid- Bits.
Greeble: lis that your baby" Craw-
don: mo, sir; the possession Is on the
other side. He is not my baby; I'm his
father."-Boston Transcript.
"Why did you manufacture this bad
| money! the magistrate said sternly.
| "Cos couldn't turn out no better" re-
piled the NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..
"She was born with a silver spoon in
her mouth, and l suppose she's got to
be pretty" isn't there limit? What
| IL 1t was a tablespoon Jour
| nal.
Bacon: "What do you suppose Is the
meaning of this long rain? Egbert:
"Oh, think possibly it is out of COM
pliment to Queen Victoria. '-YOnkers
| Statesman.
my darling, l always feel like TAX
| ing off my shoes when ] enter your sa-
| cred presence" "Well. would rather
you did it now than after we are mar
| ried."-Life.
| Fuddy: II never ride tandem wheel
unless 1 can have the rear saddle"
buddy: That's funny" mot at all.
/ don't care to have anybody talking
behind my back."-Boston Transcript.
Doctor" asked the seeker after
knowledge of the clergyman, why DO
people get on their knees to pray in
stead of standingT' "They want to
save their solos," replied the clever
minister.-Harlem Life.
"Oh, mamma" the beautiful girl ex-
claimed, "he adOres me so, and he is SO
| noble and handsome and" Yes,
my child" "And he brings such lovely
references from his last wife."-Detroit
| Journal.
| lie ueNcTy ulSut at
the hour of midnight the ghost hap
pears and groans and wrings its
hands," American tourist: ''Ah! Must
have died in the cucumber season.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
'"They may say what they like
| against him." said the convicted ones
defender, "but his heart is in the right
hn 14h
land so is the rest Of him, for few
| years. indianapolis News.
Mrs. Tenspot: isn't it odd that the
encores are always much more enjoya-
bic than the regular plumbers of the
programme" Mr.. Tenspot: 'Yes, it
| is. l wonder why they don't sing the
| encores first."-Judge.
There" said the man of schemes, lis
| n limit to the liberation of the public"
"And you found it?' 'Yup. 1 met a
| total frost when / started out with a
| lecture on How Intend to Find the
| North Pole. indianapolis Journal.
Reporter: How many years have
you been in public lifeY Statesman:
"Twenty-four." Reporter: but your
biographer says twenty-eight." States
man: "He includes four years when 1
was vice president New York Jour-
nal.
'Oh, say, Proudly, was very sorry
| to hear that you had lost all your
| money" Lost all my money" snorted
Proudly, and he produced a roll that
| filled his fist. LET me take twenty till
20 81
| Press.
when l grow up, nom, want you
| to make q minister out of me-" "Why,
| Johnny. l am glad that such is your
| desire. / will speak to your father
| about it," "Yesh; want to go to Eu-
rope every ummer."-Cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
what did that man do to make him
| self so famous?" asked the altrurian,
| gazing curiously on an individual who
| formed the center of social group.
ITO the best of my knowledge" replied
the cynic, che did the public."-Wash-
| ington Times.
The dentist: would you like your
teeth made with patent adhesive
Springs! luey uolu edcH set PERFECTLY
true" The humorist: II don't know.
1t doesn't seem quite right to mix up
| the true with the false in that man
Washington Star.
He: 81 wonder why that young man
| and young woman occupy two seats?
| 1 should think they could easily crowd
into one and give some OF the other
passengers n chance to sit down." She:
"Oh, ! suppose they've been married
| for year or two."-Cleveland Leader.
Wife (wearily): "Ah, me, the days Of
| chivalry are past!" Husband: whats
the matter now?' Wife: "Sir Walter
Raleigh laid his cloak on the ground for
| Queen Elizabeth to walk over, but You
| got angry simply because poor dear
mother sat down on your hat."-Tid-
| Bits.
Ant Pie.
Sayages, we know, indulge in such