Union County courier. [volume] (Elk Point, Union County, D.T. [S.D.]) 187?-1913, 1897-05-20
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Ae e. &C. 81: ::

SNSks|SHg MEM SanMsl.
Two Turks were at French ban
quet. Toward the conclusion of the
feast n Frenchman selected a tooth
pick from the tray near him, and po-
litely passed the tray on to his neigh
Dor, who, however, peremptorily de-
clned the offer, eXclaiming: mo,
thank you! l have already eaten two
Of the accursed things. and l want no
more"'
Speaker Reed was making a speech
on his native heath last summer, and to
show the effect of the Wilson bill ON
sheep-farming. said: You have three
thousand sheep, and you get but II
cents pound for your WOOL" you're
wrong there, Biddy," called a voice in
the crowd, with characteristic Yankee
familiarity, 1--WE only get 10 cents. "
"Well," responded Mr.. Reed. quickly,
you see, you can always retail what l
tell you at profit
One well-known and decidedly mar
tistic quality of Lord Leighton's was
his punctuality. He was once in Da-
there, but he declined. His reason was
that he had to be in London on GER
tain day because he had made an en-
gagement with his model. A friend
was anxious to learn whether Lord
Leighton had actually kept this en-
anH hn found that MI no
artist was ascending the staircase
straight from Damascus, the model
was knocking at the door of the studio.
When Admiral Codrington, who COM
manded the British fleet in the action
Of Navarino, in 1927, when the Turkish
feet was destroyed by the allied powers,
returned from the Mediterranean, he
met in town country acquaintance
Of the class whose souls are wrapped
up in their lands and turnips. "Hullo.
COdrington"' he exclaimed, in blind ig-
norance Of all contemporary history.
IL haven't seen you for some time Had
any good shooting lately?' "Why,
yes" replied the Admiral, 1--WE had
some rather remarkable shooting"
And with this he went his way.
The Count Saint German, who ap-
peared in Paris in the reign Of Louis
the Fifteenth and pretended to be pos
sessed Of the elixir of life, had valet
who was almost as great as his master
in the art Of lying. Once, when the
Count was describing at dinner party
a circumstance which occurred at the
court of This friend, King Richard the
First Of England he appealed to his
servant for the confirmation of his
story, who, with the greatest compos-
ure. replied. you forget, sir, l have
been only 500 years in your service. "
"True." said his master, musingly, 1T
was a little before your time"
There was once an Irishman, says
the Boston Budget, who sought employ
ment as diver, although he had never
CHANGED to need new man, and so on
the following Monday morning Pat
hid his smile for the first time in a
diving helmet The crew to which Pat
had attached himself was working in
comparatively shallow water, and Pat
was provided with pick and told to
use it on ledge below. Down he went
with his pick, and for about fifteen
minutes nothing was heard from him.
Then came strong pull on the signal
rope, indicating that Pat had very
decided wish to come to the top The
assistants pulled him hastily to the raft
and removed his helmet. Take aft the
rist av it," said Pat. Take off the
rest of it," "Yis," said Pat; "Oru
work. no longer on Job phere OF can't
spit on me hands"
In County Sligo there is small lake
renowned for it's fabulous depth. A
professor happened to be in that part
of Ireland last summer, and started out
one day for ramble among the noun
tains, accompanied by a native guide
AS they climbed, Pat asked him If he
would like to see this lake, 'for it's no
bottom at all, sorr' but how do you
know that, Pat?' asked the professor
"Well, SORT, I'll tell We; me own cousin
was shown the pond to a gentleman
one day, sorr, and he looked incredu-
lous like, JUS as you do. and me cousin
couldn't stand 1t for him to doubt his
word, sorr, and so he said, 'Begorra.
I'll prove the truth of me words and
off with his clothes and in he jumped"
The professors face wore an amused
and quizzical expression. YES, sorr
in he jumped, and didn't come up again
at all, at ALL" But" said the profess
sor, Il don't see that your cousin
proved his point by recklessly drown.
ing himself" 'Sure, sorr, 1t WASN'T
drowned at all he was; the next day
comes cable from him in Australia
askin, to send on his clothes"