davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

oncst upon o time-somewheres along
about 1S4o or 1S50-and consequentially
| am now about 46 or ~ years old. But
whether / ain Al past, or AZ next grass,
God only knows, and l reckon | will
have to wait a right smart whit before
l find out for certain. If they ever put
the facts and figures on record-which
| have my doubts about that-the rec
ords got lost or burnt up, and was left
a homeless, helpless orphant boy to
grow up in pluperfect ignorance, and
when people ask me how old / am |
must snswer like n free niger and say
burned if | know.
NATURALLY of course old man Wade
Sampley knows as well as you or any
body else that the single little fact
that | couldn't tell for certain how old
| was didn't have a blame thing to do
with runnin the post Office at Flat Rock.
But human nature is monstrous human,
Rufe, and when the old man found that
card up his sleeve-dadblame him-he
didn't know no better than to play it
which you can now see that what he has
done to me is good gracious plenty.
There is one more thing, Rufe, which
| don't know for certain--I don't know
where l am moyin to. And l doubt
durn serious whether L would tell If
could Most any old place, where l can
fellow a covered trail, will do. But
wheresomever l may go-hence for
wards and forever more-I will have a
birthday and tell everybody how old
am. l will be Al years old on the 18th
day of next October"
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
"Dast" If He Knew.

Now, then, as for me, | ruther like
old man Wade Sampley and Tip Wes-
lev, too. And so fur as am concerned
there amt nothin in the little post office
messment down at Flat Rock to make
pe lose lick of sleep or miss meal OF
vlutuals.
But of all the mortal men that cum
Der the soil of this great country, do
think Wade Sampley ought to run his
mouth the slowest and skim the lightest
in regards to what other people don't
know. Bless the heavens if [ haven't
seen the day and time when he was so
mortal green till you could jest nat
urally scrape it off with a splinter
Me and Wade and a whole passle more
of boys and girls all went to school to-
gether to Miss Nan Biggers over at the
Cross Roads-which that was years ago.
[ never would live long enough to dis
remember the day when Wade Sampley
put III his first appearments at school,
with his blue-back speller under his
arm. Early in the mornin of the first
day 1t come to pass that he didn't know
the first old letter in his A, B, C's. But
Miss Nan she took holt in her gentle
and long-sufferin way and went to work
on him.
what is that, Wade? ?" says she, when
they got to b.
"Dast if know" says he.
Come, now," says she, you must be
a good little boy, and not use naughty
words What makes the honey you
eat?"
'HBee, by gollys," says he.
"Well. that is the second letter, and
that is b." says she.
So they went on at about that lick
till they got down to G.
"What is that, Wade?" says she.
"Dast if know" says he.
"When your pa is plowin and wants
his horse to turn to the right side, what
does he say?"
''lIe don't plow no horse-he plows
a steer and uses plain COW talk"
"Well, what would he say if he wanted
the steer TO turn to heright sde?"
Wade backed off about ten feet,
squared himself, squirted skillet of to-
bacco juice acrost the floor and told
Miss Nan what his pa would say:
Gee there! you dalburned, old long
horned, slab-sided, wobbledy-legged ra-
zcr-back son-of-a-gun!"
And yet, after few vain and feetin
years, that is the man who runs the
post office. down, at Flat Rock, whilst
Tip Wesley has gone off somewheres to
spit on the slate and Spite out and grow
up with the country.
RTTETTC CANnERG
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
The Emergency Ration Trial.

Col Charles Smart, of the medical de-
partment, who accompanied the troop
of the First cavalry during the march
for the purpose of testing the emer-
gency ration, has arrived in this city
and reported to the department.
The ration consists of eight ounces
of hard bread, five ounces of beans,
two ounces pea meal, one ounce coffee,
one tablet saceharine, quarter ounce
of tobacco and portions of salt and
pepper.
The men Travelled 81 miles day, los
ing an average of three pounds of flesh,
but gaining strength to an average of
40 pounds per man, as shownby dyna-
mometer.-Military Gazette, Chicago.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
THOSE LITTLE TOY WAGONS.
All Children Play with Them from
the Pole to the Equator.


1t must be that the toy wagon is the
favorite plaything of children the world
over, for there is no country in which
grown-up wagons are used that has
not toy wagons just like them except
in size. And in those countries where
wagons are never used there are al
ways substitutes
There are the Eskimo children, for
instance, who use in their play little
sledges made of bone carefully whitfield
out and pieced ogether-crossbars
runners and adjust as big sledges
were in the days before wood and iron
could be bought of the whaling ships.
The best toys are always rather old
fashioned. The six tiny ivory dogs of
an Eskimo toy team are attached to the
sledge by strands of seal gut or other
tough, fine fiber, which is always get
ting tangled.
In the Saghalien island, which is al
most as arctic as Greenland in spite OF
it's being generally reckoned a japanese
island, the toy sledges are provided
with poles, and the dogs, Whitfield out
fiat, are attached to it by pegs driven
through their bodies into the pole. In
either case, the labor of carving sledge
and dogs out of bone and fitting them
together must take many days of pa
tent work.
Turkish toy wagons in the towns are
just what they would be in America,
but in the country the horses are often
replaced by toy buffaloes whose heads
arc weighed down with big dropping
horns; the axles are sc timmovably into
the solid wheels, and the axles them
selves turn in sockets under the wagon,
which is just what b e axles do in that
region. But better than wagon of
any kind is a whole caravan of toy
camels, plodding their way across the
desert of n ten-foot strip of sand with
imaginary freitage on their hump
backs, bound for a malle-believe Mecca
just in front of the next boys house.
In Morocco, where there are no wag-
ons at all, the dolls ride on the backs
of doll donkeys-though in the houses
of rich men there are often elaborately-
dressed French dolls just from Paris.
with gilded state coaches drawn by
white horses for them to ride in. Their
owners, however, will probably never
In the whole course of their lives see
real wagon.
In Egypt, whose only main road is
the Nile, children play with Mecca
trains of camels as they do in Turkey,
or quite as likely sail tiny dahabeiahs
with huge sails on the canals which cut
the whole land into a vast green check
err board. And Just such boats were
built by the children who lived in Pha-
rash-time, thousands of years ago;
just as Roman children had tiny char
lots to play with, whose doll drivers
leaned out over stiff, high dashboards to
lash doh horses of four-inch stature in
the rush along some imaginary Appian
way.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

"When YOU have fooled off as much
time as | have, Rufe, fumblin and fid-
din around with politics you will find
out that explanations don't explain
worth continental durn," says Tip.
"But | don't mind tellin you what is
what and how it come to pass. l don
know for certain how old | am. l don't
know blame thing about my birthday
when the last one come or when the
next one is comm. But it amt my
fault, RUFF.
"You will recollect that my genera
ton of people moved down here from
somewheres back there in Georgy when
l was nothin but little scrap of boy.
The next year my mother she took sick
and died. BY and by the old man mar
ried his second wife, and in the run of
three or four months he likewise also
died-which l was the onlyest child in
the family and then told me was then
about nine years old.
"Well, if any father and mother ever
had a family Bible, with by birth rec
ords in it. reckon il got lost in the
movin, and there | was. | know that
I have come down from good stock of
people. think from by what i
have heard from back there in
Georgy that l was born-born in
reglar order aud in the due fullness
Of time-in the year 1s40 or 1850.
1 know from what one good old lady,
which was Twin in the same settlement
at that time, that l was born along in
the fall Of the year-on the full of the
moon-and on a Saturday mornin about
sunrise to the best of her recollection.
But as for the particlar month, and the
particlar day of the month, don't know
however did llI-ow-and never VII
know. All l can Eay Of my own indi'
yidually knowledge Is that | was born
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
Didn't Know His own Age.

White people-one ana all-eVery-
body-but particular them that don't
keep up the birth and death record
go right now and buy you family
Bible and set all the facts and fggers
down. Don't wait about it. Time and
the railroad trains don't wait. And
don't you put it off. Tomorrow it
mought be everlastinly too late.
A smarter nor a better man than
Tip Wesley never lived anywheres in
this section of country. But weary
in the flesh and bowed down in spirits,
Tip Wesley packed his wallet the other
day and moved his washin off to dis
tant Landslide good Lord only knows
for certain where. In the main time,
from all l can pick up comm and goin,
it would seem as if Tip Wesley had went
to work and put in his claims to the
post office down at Flat Rock. He was
born and bread and brung up as a
dyed-in-the-wool republican. He had
followed the old flag in every COM
paign and voted the republican ticket
every clatter as early and as often as
he could with safety and convenience,
whilst old man Wade Sampley-which
is now dom business through the post
office at Flat Rocks a moss-covered,
iron beund, long-haired, screamin dem
ocrat.
The republicans round about Flat
Rock helt meetin and put up Tip
Wesley as the right man for the place,
and then Joined hands and balanced
all together in the high hope of liftin
Wade Samply outcn his boots, or words
TO that extent. They put up the re-
publican plank in great shape and Tip
was greasin the seat of his breeches, as
it were, to slide right down into soft
place in the post Office at Flat Rock.
But all this time old man Wade Samp-
ley he want gone nowheres so fur as
anybody knows. He put it out through
the papers that Tip Wesley want no
fitten man for the place, from the fact
he didn't even know how old he was,
or when his next birthday would come.
And by gracious the old man proved
IN the report with the best men in the
settlement for his witnesses. More
than that, he got Tip Wesley in crowd
and made him own the corn. Bad news,
as ANYBODY knows, will spread worse
than a prairie fire before March wind,
and in little or no time the fact went
forth to the country at large that Tip
Wesley-a white man and republican
which had been put up for the post
office at Flat Rock, didn't even so much
as know how old he was. What did
Tip do? What could he do but throw
his hand to the pack and quit?
Now in regards to book learnin and
native born sense Tip Wesley was
plenty smart enough and able to run
the post office down at Flat Rock. AS
between the two-to tell the truth and
nothin but the truth-he has forgot
more in the past three years than old
man Wade Sampley ever did know all
put together. Aud yet they didn't tell
no felonious big lie on Tip Wesley when
they put out the reports that he didn't
even know how old he was, or when his
next birthday would come. 1t was all
facts-facts as cold and solem as the
sainted dead. And when Tip come by
that day to say good-by got the story
sad and straight, from his own
mouth
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

vain, and that IL was every mans duty
to do something for his fellow men. and
also for those who were to come afte-
him. "Ouf fathers and forefathers,
said he, wrote books and invented use
full eontriyances, and planted trees and
vines for u.s., and, So. as. we cannot pay
them for it, we should do something for
posterity." | am about even on that
line, for have planted trees, both shade
and fruit, wherever have lived, and my
wife still keeps me planting vines. L
have written many sketches and a book
or two, without malice aforethought,
and can say, with Byron:
what is writ is writ,
Would II were worthier."
On the whole, | am grateful that my
life has been allotted to the last three
quarters of this century-seyen dec
AIDES that have witnessed more progress
in science, art, invention and Christian
civilization than any previous thousand
years in the worlds history. A great
leap forward has been made since was
a boy, for | remember when there were
but few books and fewer newspapers
i'm the United States-when there were
but two or three little short railroads.
and not n telegraph or telephone
when there was no light but candle
light, and not friction match in the
world, nor steel pen. But progress
always brings a train of evil things
along with it. Every light has its shad-
ow. The devil is a lively cuss and keeps
up with the procession.
Man never builds house of prayer
But what the devil has pulpit there"
And his pulpit, though invisible, is at
the other end, where the sinners love TO
congregate. | remember when there
were no hip pockets nor pistols to put
in them. ! remember when there was
no whisky in this country, and the only
spirits drank were wine, peach brandy,
cognac brandy, that was made from
grapes, and New England rum that the
Yankees made from molasses. They
made the rum to buy niggers with i'll
Africa, but some of it got down south.
Whisky came later and was originally
usht} DdugH Il BdSllC Nolu ehat, Sti ah6e
tc say, means water of life. The last
syllable was happily dropped in course
of time, for it means life-and uskey
was pronounced woesky.
But it would take book to tell all
the changes that have marked the last
GO years-the good of it and the bad Of
IT, | would blot some things out if |
could, and set the clock back, but God
knoweth. Especially would l blot out
livery bad thought and every bad deed
of my own-eyery act that gave pain
or anxiety to those who loved me. The
worst word in the language is remorse
| am free from that. know, but not
from regret. | wish that all the young
people would stop and think-some-
times stop and think and resolve to do
nothing thai will follow them like Ban
quo's ghost when they get old.-Bili
Arp, in Atlanta Constitution.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

has not beer broke as yet and II II
don't rain by this time tomorrow Par
son Radford's motion will be indefinite
ly lost, so to speak.
"As to me, Rufe, would rather not
bet my money an what the weather
will do. Only the good Lord knows
about that, and He don't have to tell
poor human beins in this valley of dry
bones everything He knows. But if
they keep on with that prayin match
it wouldn't be no ways surprisin to me
If He was to send a cyclone or a water
spout and sweep off the face of the
earth with them people over there. My
notion is that when man plants his
crop and works it right, and don't let
the grass run away with it, he has then
done his prorata share and it is none of
his fool business about the dry drouth
or the rain"
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
MonderfnI Mechanism.

According to some of its most en-
thusiastic friends, the Lay torpedo can
do everything but talk. When in use
it is connected to the ship or shore,
from which it is operated, by an insu-
lated wire, and carries above water
some visible object to show its loca-
ton. The wire with which it is con-
nected is carried on a reel in the torpedo,
and pays out as the torpedo runs its
course. BY this wire it can he started,
stopped, stcered, fired, sunk or raised at
the pleasure of the operator.-Military
Gazette, Chicago.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
who Would and Who wouldn't.


We'll, in answer to the call, the peo-
pie come together that night-some
met with Parson Radford, on yonder
side of the creek, and some met with
Deacon Cal Sturgiss, on this side
some TO pray for rain. and some to pray
agin the motion for fallin weather.
That was the general lay of the land
IS far as l found it when l rid over
there Saturday night-which, of course,
it was none of my private business how
them people would ruther take their
weather-and l didn't try to poke my
finger in the pie one way or the other.
-Hit was way long towards II o'clock
when the meetins broke up Saturday
night. By this time a big bank of
clouds had piled up in the west and
oucst in awhile you could see pale
streak Of lightnin in the dim distance.
But vet still it vas four bits with one
side and 50 cents with the other as to
who would and who wouldn't, Whereas
both of the meetins adjourned TO re-
sume business at church the next day.
and the pravin match run on through
Sunday. Monday mornin when l ie4t
for home IL was lookin q right smart
like the people on this side Of the creek
nought win out and git their oats IL
obesd Of the rain. can tell from the
rnp OF the clouds that the dry dron1h
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
Avoiding PubIicity.

81 cannot longer keep the wolf from
the door," he sighed. his head sinking
deiectedly upon his breast.
Thus he sat until his wife came and
kissed his throbbing temples and
sought to cheer him.
perhaps the wolf win go around to
the back door," she whispered.
It was woman's way to reflect upon
the bright ride of things; she hadn't
much use for side she couldn't reflect
ou.-Detroit Tribune.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

then went on to speak, through the
abundance of his mouth, it would seem
like the long dry spell has brung the
people over there to feelin sense of the
recorded fact that they are but small
potatoes and few in the hill, with the
rows six feet wide.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
Exactly TO Her Taste

Mrs. Larkin-Do you like Welsh Iab-
BIT MIS- Wester?
AIRS Wester (who never ate anyJ-
Oh. yes. indeed. I do love all serts Of
imported foods.-N. Y JouuuL
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

hill country-and
all on account of the
weather. So says
Blew Scroggins to
me the other day
whilst on his re-
turn back home
from u round trip
into that historic
strip of woods. And
from the general
way in which Bley
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

ale has broken my heart. " walled the
beautiful girl.
There. don't take CO So" said her
friend. In tones Of pity; 1T might have
been your bicycle. Boston Traveller
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31

P. S.-Since Bley rid by that day
haven't heard any fresh and startlin
news form the hills country. But it has
been thunderin powerful over in that
way, and it may be that all-wise Provi-
dence can work things out satisfactual
to both sides of the creek.
The Van Buren press., 1897-07-31
FRESH AND QUAINT.
Stories from Life il the Woods
and Hills.
Lively Prayin Matches to Regulate
the Weather-The Post ONCE
IN tssmene Mt Flat Rock
Plain Cow Talk.

"They alenow having the onlyest time
= most felonious big Uncover In the
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-27
Died..

Mrs. William Hamn1el died last
Thursday morning at her home, 1907
Third street, after prolonged illness
with consumption. Deceased was "a
years Of age and leaves husband, one
son and one daughter. She was a sister
ofGeorge, j ohm and Jacob Rine hart and
was native of Pennsylvania, coming
here with the family at an early day.
Her death is regretted by large circle
of friends. The funeral occurred Sat-
urday afternoon, services being held
in the M. E. church and the body in
tered in Oak Hill cemetery.
James Payton, an early citizen Of
this place, died Monday at his home
in New London. He was the father of
our resident, Mrs. George H. Hastings,
who, with her husband. has gone to
attend the funeral Mr.. Pavton lived
here in the SOS and is remein bered
by some of our older inhabitants.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-27

s'Just as good as Postum Cereal" are
words used to defrand the public.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-27


A very pleasant and agreeable social
happening occurred at the rectory of
st. Paul's Episcopal church Monday
evening, when the ladies of the parish
guild rendered reception to the new
rector, Rev. H. S. Foster. and his es-
timable mother, Mrs. Foster. There
was goodly attendance Of parishion-
ers and their friends, and the evening
was made most hospitable and enjoy
able one to all who embraced the op-
portunity Of thus formally meeting
these welcome new corners to our city,
whose sojourn among US, so auspicious-
lY begun, it is hoped may be Of long
duration and resultant in much good
and the most congenial relations The
guests were received in the front par
lOr by the young rector and Mrs. Fos-
ter, assisted by Mrs. A. P Boardman
and Colonel Daniel Jones, senior war
den of the church. Dainty refresh
ments were served in the dining room,
where Mrs. G. A. We'll and Miss Wray
Schwieger poured coffee and the Misses
Jennie Kusel, Jennie Evans, Helen
Rack, Selma Schempf, Bessie Throne
and Helen Schwieger served. Miss
Mollie Daub presided over the ice
cream bowl. During the evening the
Mandolin trio discCursed sweet music
in the reception hall.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-27
a BIG CLAIM.
A Watertown Citizen, Injured in the
Ford Theatre Disaster at Wash
ingtOn, Wants $50, 900.


ingtOn, Wants 100000.
George Giles, adopted son of our
resident, Mrs. Harriet Giles, and a
young man we'll known here, is the
beneficiary of a bill presented in the
house of representatives by Congress-
man Sauerhering, calling for the pay
ment by the government of $4,000.
The claim is made for injuries sustained
by Mr.. Giles in the Ford theatre dis
aster at Washington several years ago
Mr.. Giles served long time as clerk
in the War department and his Office
was located in the old Ford theatre at
the time of it's collapse. The claims Of
several other employees who received
injuries in the disaster haye been favor
ably reported to congress and it is
thought the claim of our fellow towns
man is also good.
Mr.. Giles has been in broken-dow
condition for some time and is at pres
ent receiving treatment at the North
ern Hospital for the Insane, where he
was conveyed last summer. His all
ments are attributed to the injuries he
received in the disaster.
Watertown republican. [volume] (Watertown, Wis.) 1860-1906, 1897-01-27
ANOTHER PIONEER DEAD.

Friday morning last there died in
this city person who was counted as
one Of the very first pioneers Of this
vicinity, Mrs. Janette Gibb, relict of
John Glib. She was in her S0th year
and had been in feeble health for some
time, still was perfectly rational and
enjoyed the society of her relatives
and friends to the last. She is sur
vived bv six children, among whom
are David 7. and Miss Adeline, of this
city. and Mrs. Elizabeth Goodman, Of
Milwaukee.
Deceased was born in Ounce, Scot
land, February 2S. 1917, and emigrated
to Canada in 1888 with relatives The
following year she married John Glib
and in 1887 they removed to Milwau-
kee. After residence there of three
years they came to this city, where
they remained until lS49, when they
located in Ixonia. Here Mr.. Glib op-
Grated saw mill few years, but it was
burned in 1851 and they then removed
to Pipersville, where they continued
to reside until Mr.. Gibbs death few
years ago, when Mrs. Glib again took
up her residence in this city.
The above outline gives the reader
an idea of the pioneer hardships the
deceased must have endured IN the
wilderness of Wisconsin. When she
first located here the place contained
but ten houses, the streets were full of
stumps, the surroundings were dense
forest, and the Indian was to be seen
on every hand. With that sturdy and
indomitable will typical of her race,
Mrs Glib braved all the hardships and
in after years saw with pride the great
accom- plishments Of that class to which
she belonged.
Mrs. Glib was a person highly re-
spected for her excellent traits and
she possessed large circle of warm
.acquaintances. She was a consistent
Christian and regular attendant Of
the Congregational church, to which
she belonged since l5 years Of age.
The funeral occurred Sunday after
noon from the Congregational church,
Rev. G. G. Weiss officiating The re-
mains were laid to rest in Oak Hill
cemetery.