Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1897-09-18


memorandum book the things you
| want to remember, providing you don't
forget where you put the memoran-
| dunn
There are politicians SO unclean in
| their methods that they would make "a
dows, were they to get close enough
| to them.
| The fact that Father Time Is some
| times taken by the forelock, would be
proof enough, before any ordinary
Justice of the peace, that he is
| married
A man the other day suspected that
gun he had hanging up was loaded.
| and took 1t down to examine. A ooro-
| ner's jury decided that his suspicious
were well founded.
what / need now" sollllquized the
troubled father of seven unmarried
| daughters. as they all sailed forth to
an afternoon matinee, ''is-not more
| daughters, but seven fool sons-in-
| law"
The Jail question is being agitated
| again. a prisoner in the city bnstile
| threatens TO bring suit against the
| COUNCIL DIlSpIl tpllllllAlAtts iit
| is provided with more comfortable
quarters.
An authority on cigarette smoking
| says IT robs young men OF their brains.
| When a young man is heard 10 say
| that he is not afraid of their hurting
him. he no doubt knows what he is
talking about.
Anything new today" asked the re-
porter Of a morning Newspaper. Yes"
| laconicaily replied the official 20 whom
| the quiry had been put. THAT paint
against which YOU are leaning was
put on just few minutes ago"
In Missouri recently an editor walked
| twenty miles to see man hung, but
when he arrived at the Jail he learned
returned home disguised, and wrote
an editorial headed rs the country
drifting back to barbarism?"
An interview has been defined as
| follows: "a modern invention good
| naturally adopted by newspapers to
| enable public men TO put their ideas
before the people without assuming
| the responsibility for them, and in Il
form to be repudiated as the inaccur-
ate work of the reporter in case the
views do not take"
During the recent divorce trial in the
Third district court it was found
necessary to conduct n portion of the
proceedings behind closed doors. The
angry voices of the attorneys could be
plainly heard over the transom, which
| caused a wag to pin on the door a
| sign, written In pencil. as follows:
CLOSED during alterations"
A young man well known in Salt
Lake n few weeks ago attended a
| banquet and was called on to re-
spond TO the toast of THE Ladies'"
| This is n toast" he said. (which re-
| qulres little comment from me, as the
| subject is dear to our hearts and one
which you are all familiar with. The
| Ladies have been drunk for 10! these
| many years"
| Ireland has always been noted for
| poets and po(e)tatoes. Here is the
| latest version of the Kilkenny cats by
the poet Murphy;
There wanst was two cats at Kill
kenny,
Each thought there was wan cat too
| many;
| So they quarreled and fit.
| They scratched and they bit,
| Till, excepting their nails
| And the tips of their tails.
Instead Of two cats there warn't anyl"
|
| THEE ARE MOMENTS.
I saw her but a moment
| Beneath the apple tree;
There was no one to listen,
| No eyes We're there to see.
heard her soft voice singing,
| Her song was one of love;
Her bright eyes seemed to borrow
Light from the stars above.
/ saw her but n moment
| AS meath the tree she sat;
| / at her threw the poker
tShe was my neighbours caD
(With apology to Sims Reeves)