Lewiston teller. [volume] (Lewiston, North Idaho) 1878-1900, 1897-03-26

my relatives. OF course, 1t is my own
fault; ought not to have been different
to my brothers. You see, was bit OF
a dreamer; read too many books when
a boy, and preferred painting pictures
to studying law. and writing stories to
sitting in London Office. dreamed
good deal, and l never went about town
like my brothers did. l don't know
why / did not My sisters noticed 1t.
They were jolly girls. kind-hearted,
and that sort Of thing; but they didn't
care for my tacitlrn. quiet ways. II
my brothers came home late from
fellows rooms they used to let them
In and help them to their rooms and
say nothing about it. They thought
1t rather good sport. and were annoyed
with me because didn't ever stop out
late, or get mixed up in row, or drink
too much.
Il never found any one who took an
interest in things liked. Because
wouldn't 60 into the law or medicine or
banking. was kicked out from home.
Give me something to drink, Nurse.
This doesn't tire you? l am glad.
wanted to tell some one why l faiied,
and all that. before died. and you
seem-Well, I thought could work and
live with my pen, and keep my dreams
and ideals to myself. BY God, Nurse. !
tried! I tried hard. l had money at
first. Life seemed gay and jolly. But l
kept straight. That was one OF my
ideals. because felt sorry-I sort OF
felt all women were sacred. and unless
! loved one-so kept straight.
But London lodging is not inspir-
ing. ! began to long for my books
and flowers. and my comfortable room;
began to long to see my brothers and
sisters faces. asked il l might come
home and work in my old rooms. / re-
ceived no answer. got depressed. My
ideals got mixed. Nothing seemed real
except vice.
Zone night got drunk with the
lights and the noise of London.
supped at a big restaurant, principally
on champagne. l met her that night.
l never cared for her, and had cared
for others and passed them by. She
loved only gold and jewels; she was
lump of ice--well. l froze my ideals
with that lump OF ice!
II wandered about town, tired OF
everything. l was Ill. grew worse
Then they found me and took me home
How they worried me! How they piled
me with questions! How they stared
at me! Why was l so different from
Others?
Il, too. began to ask myself that
question. The first time slip. break
my neck; but my brothers make it their
business to slip-gracefully and care
fully.
For a long time they kept me at
home. always worrying me- trying to
make me talk. trying to make me
sensible Then, at last, made them
bring me hero And at last l am hap
by.
There! What have l been saying,
Nurse? You must not think too badly
OF me; at the worst. l am only a fool
Hark! 1t Is daVn. Do you hear the
sparrows chattering? 1t reminds me Of
the country. l can see the faint light
stealing through the gray curtains. and
the wind Is shaking the blind to and
fro.
Would you read to me. Nurse?
don't suppose you have 'Swinburne?
He used to be my favorite poet. 1t was
he who made ple dream, think. Nurse,
wonder why l have never been able
TO talk to any woman. as l am talk
ing to you?"
Then he lay for some time silent, lis
| tening to the sparrows and the wind
rustling the curtains together.
| The nurse had risen. She stood op-
posite the mirror and gaxed at herself.
She loosened the hair on her forehead a
| little, so that the wavy curls fell natu-
rally on either side. Then she crossed
| to the bed, and bathed his temples with
some slightly perfumed water, and gave
him a clean, cold pillow for his head
and sat again by his side.
II, too, used to read Swinburne once
he turned surprised-"but that was
long ago, when used to dream
Dreams are bad and foolish. We were
not meant to cream in this world"
! NO" he replied YEARLY. Il suppos,
not; but dreams are the only beautiful
things In this world. Do you remem
Der All, God! All. God! that day should
be so soon?' That Is what l feel now
You won't leave me. will you. Nurse
Wait until It is quite day. am afrait
my mother might come to see me. ant
never feel comfortable when she Ii
near mel feel afraid--it is so stupid.
"All right. won't leave YOU" Sh
took his hand in hers. She knew hi
| hours were few. R#k
\. And she wondered why God had al
ways let him meet the wrong women
If she had met him before. perhaps
His thoughts were similar. NURSE
| wish had met you before"
She hes.tated a moment. so do I.
She touched his forehead with her sof
scented handkerchief.
what do you mean:"
"Perhaps We might have both bee
, 1 - aa~.