davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
WOLF WORK,

The young Methodist minister who
had just been appointed to the Wolf
Mountain circuit conceived the idea of
establishing a mission In the corn Juice
neighborhood and one Sunday rode
over the ridge to investigate the field.
Along in the afternoon he approached
a caOin with a sWayback roof and a
decrepit stick and dirt chimney, with
large, sooty holes in its sides, from
which the smoke escaped without the
trouble Of ascending 20 the top. He
drew up in front of the cabin and
shouted:
"Hellor
The door opened and a red headed
woman, with a great snuff stick in her
mouth appeared and answered:
"Hl!"
"My good woman" said the minis
ter, have you many Methodists about
hereG"
Yep, 1 think they are purity plenty.
Tobe Owens was after one with his fox
houns right across the crick thar yes
terday."
my good lady, you seem to be
greatly in the dark over here9"
Yes; hit is purity bad. I've bin a
tryin fur two year to git Sam to saw
me out a winder or two in this side o.
the house."
"Where is your husband, my sis
ter9">
"Oh, Sans gone huntin', as usual. "
"What, hunting on Sundays Does
he not fear the hereafter8"
II sorter spect he does, fur he hez
got his Winchester and six shooter
both along. "-Atlanta Constitution.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
HRADRD OFF BY PHONE.
Here's a Tip to the Modern Young Mar
Who Has q Rival.

Here's a Tip to the Modern Young Mar
Who Has a Rival,
Just my Internal luck, -" growled one
of the most eligible bachelors as he
threw himself on a couch and looked
d8ggers at his closest friend, as though
he were the dispenser of fate, says the
Detroit Free Press. IF q fellow
wants to get married and fulfill his
proper destiny in life, fortune trips
him up and makes a fool of him. You
know that I've popped to three or four
girls and in every case I've been just
too late. You may put it down now
that if / ave marry a woman she will
do the proposing and make all the pre-
liminary arrangements"
Scored another failure"
Yes; lest by an eyebrow, as usual.
You recall that divine creature l
pointed oue to you from the club win
90 the other day. That little Rud-
dins and I have both been sweet on
her-riyals, l suppose you would say.
I called where che is visiting early last
evening to put my fate to the test
While I was ecrewing my courage up
to the sticking point and trying TO sep
arate her from the other people there
she was called by of the servants.
She came back looking so rosy and
sweet that I pushed matters, piloted
her to a side veranda and told her,
with all the gush and sentimentslism
Of some callow youth, how 1 loved her,
how l could not live without her. She
never looked more beautiful than when
she told me how sorry she was to cause
me pain, but she had just accepted Mr..
Rud6ins by telephone. 1t was to talk
with him that she had been called by
the servant, to the hat rack and out
of the house I went the best I could.
The impudent little rascal, he knew I
was going there, for told him myself,
and I went early for the express pur
pose Of heading him off. No other
man would have had the cold nerve to
propose over the telephone. If any
girl wants me after this she knows
where to find me-"
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
ALLEGED FUN.

SIS there an opening here for an in
~tellectual writer9" asked a seedy, red
nosed individual of the editor.
Eyes, my friend" replied the man
of letters; "a c~onsiderate carpenter
foreseeing your visit, left an opening
for you; turn the knob to the right I'-
It'd Bits.
tennessee burglar who presumably
was an amateur in the business, held
up a newspaper man, and when he
discovered his mistake felt so morti-
fed that he apologized at once. The
N. P. man accepted the apology and
let him eff.
Printers Devil Otrom BuDgtown Ban
ner Office, Say, the editor wants yer
t'pay up yer next years subscription
in bromo s~eltzer, an let him have it
right away !"
Druggeist.-"What's the troubles"
Devn.-"Well, a Teller paid 8 years
back subscription in apple jack yester-
day PUCK.
Dootor-If you must know, ma'am,
your husband won't live twenty-four
hours longer.
Goodness, g~racious!" calculated
the broken hearted but economical
woman, land here you've gone and
prescribed medicine enough for five
day {. "-Boston Traveller.
The boy stood on the burning deck
and rubbed his hands in glee. I'm
just from Klondike," he explained;
this feels good to mer-The Repub-
lie.
"It it wasn't for me, my ella
school wouldn't have any standing at
all, said Hubert.
''Nonsense!3 said his aunt. "Your
mother says you are the foot of it."
81 am" said Hubert. "How could
it stand if it didn't have a footG"-
Philadelphia Times.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
LOVE IN The

YES" said the village gossip, John
Wuz always a Fostering Sue about mar
ryin' Of him, an she'd done told him
No more times'n l could tell you"
you don't say!"
."Hit's true as preachin'. Well, you
know, John carries the mailG"
YES, I've hearn tell he does"
AN las Wednesday Wuz q week,
Sue WIZ a travelin' long with him,
goin' ter town when John ups and says
ct she didn't make up ter marry him
he'd make the boss run down hill tell
all three Of 'em wuz drowned in the
bottom or the river"
DO tell
That's what! But what do you
reckon Sue did7'
Lord knowe!'
Caught John by the collar, jerked
him ouEen the buggy, grabbed up a
live rattle snake what wuz a sleepin'
by the roadside, an lambasted~ John
with it till he couldn't stan'!"
Laws q massy ?"
''Then she stomped the snake ter
death, an Johnnie took ter his bed,
whar he laid for two weeks; an Sue
got sorry fer him, an nussed him, an
killed a beef ter make stew fer him,
an now-what do you reckon8"
II dunno!'
"she's a goin' ter marry him =
Atlanta Constitution.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
WAITING FOR THR MURDER.

Two fashy colored boys, of the
''coon" persuasion, stood in the hot
sun in front of the railway eating
house and looked at each other with
their eyes sidewise, says The Haber
dasher. Look hyah, you piece O.
dahk meat, I got some bonehandle
trouble in my pocket weitin' faw you
il you evan come connin' round that
baby tryin' to undamine mel"
'Siow up, boy ! You's on a slippery
road, an if you don't drive calhful
you going to fall right in dat ditch, fus
thing you knows"
Don't get me stahted, coon! Don't
rouse mel l wou,dn'6 like to do it, but
/ could JUS lay hold of yo' dahk body
and cut it up into rubbah balls. / amt
used dat razsh faw whole week now
an it's gettin' uneasy. I can feel 1t
movin' in my pocket an sayin' Mas
tab, let me get out and do some
thing"
Look beah, you bettah sing dat
razah to sleep, 'kase you evan reach
faw it you jes' see whole atmosphere
full O. niggah wool, striped shirt an
blue cloze. Yes, sch, got a piece of
shiny haid waih in my pocket, an it
sings sweet an low, and ev'ry time it
speaks to you iE hans you a pound o.
lead. Look cut faw me, boy"
Hush, coon, 1 really love trouble"
Don't slant pothin' lees you want
to lose money faw yo' folks. Costs
money to plant a coon, yes sch. You
don't get dem silvRh handled boxes faW
nothin', no sch. Got any o dem papah
cigars, HenryF
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
COULDN'T WALK.

All are not soldiers who wear a uni
form, as General Lew Wallace found
out at Fort Donelson.
He saw four soldiers carrying a fifth,
who seemed to be wounded.
Cant that man walk with assist
ance8" asked Wallace.
- "Oh, no." said the men; she is dy-
ing"
Just then a shell exploded near by
and the four men dropped their burden
and fed. The man who was supposed
to be wounded leaped to his feet and
ran YER faster than the others.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

face up to mine, so that the tips of our
noses almost touched. he said:
stake your eyes eff me, sirI Don't
look at me in that tone of voiceI"
He passed, and I had proceeded only
a few steps when another cadet from
one of the barrack windows called out:
stop that grinningl What do you
mean by such levity, sir. Wipe that
smile off your face, MI. CandidateT
While strolling along the walk in
front Of the barracks I was accosted
by two cadets. The taller asked me if
I was not a candidate. I replied in the
affirmative.
You look like a beast" "a name
applied to candidatee). whats your
name, sire"
Mr.. Hammond, sir" 1 replied.
'Look at my companion, Nj. Ham
mond, and tell me the color of his
hair"
A glance was sufficient to see that it
was a f4ring red, but I did not tell
him so. Il would call it auburn, sir, !"
l said.
auburn be -" yelled the owner
of the faring locks. MY hair is red,
sirT"
Finally the time arrived when we
to learn the result Of our examinations.
Candle ,ee, turn out promptly /"
sounded throughout the beasts quar-
ters for the last time. We formed in
line, and Lieutenant Gerald read off
the names in alphabetical order The
candidates whose names were called,
mine being the fifth on the list, stepped
two PAGES to the front and halted.
G 3ntleman of the front rank" said
he, you fail to pass the entrance ex-
animation. AS soon as the govern
ment property now in your possession
has been turned over to the quarter
master you are at liberty to leave
West Point. The front rank is dis
missed"
Thus I was officially ushered out
A. w. in San Franciec0 Chronicle.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

one with any handsaw on it, have
youY"
I'm just outer my time, and as I'm
goln' to set up as carpenter and jiner,
Thought I'd like to have somethin' to
wear so folks would know what / was
dom. Well, TIL take it, though I'd
like one with a handsaw, but I guess
mebbe that's plain enough. The com
pass is to mark out yer work, and the
square is to measure it when marked
out, and any darn fool knows that G
stands for glmlet.-Ex.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
WANTED TO ADVERTISE HIS
TRADE.

A verdant youth dropped into a
jewelers., and after gazing at some
fraternity pins in the show case, said to
the proprietor:
''Them's mighty nice breast pins you
got thar, mister"
"What kind of a pin would like to
look at?'
How much is this one with a pair
O. compasses and a squaSa' pointing to
a masonic pin.
Give dollars"
Five dollars, Ell! You haven't got
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
HOUSEHOLD
TAPIOCA sOUFFLE

4OOA
Put one half cupful Of pearl tapioca
over the fire with one pint of milk ;
cook until the tapioca is clear; add one
euptut Of sugar and the yolks Of four
eggs we'll hea6eD, stir one minute, then
remove from the fire, and when almost
cold favor with a teaspoonfuI of
Vanilla; add the well whisked whites
q EGGS, pour half the mixture into a
SltIs pan, scatter 4 ounce of can,
l!7d Cherries over it, when add the
O'her half and bake for twenty min
~'es. Serve at once
ITALIAN CREAM.
Dissolve one ounce of geIatine in q
sna! qIautIty of milk, then rub suh
Ient Jumps OF sugar on the outside of
q lemon ID absorb all it's esseEc3.
>44etze and strain the juice OF a lemon,
a0' a wlEeglassiu,l OF brandy and the
sane Of white wine; put these ingre.
~U1!s INTO q large basin and add the
s-s'r 10 the geiatine and dissolve at q
Ssn'e heat. Add q pint of thick cream
Tue brandy and lemon juice, beat it
"u d VIE whisk, but not too vigor-
.'''!, OF 1t will turn to butter. When
s g@lattne has cooled and is only
0'"arm strain it slowly into the
van which must be- stirred sum
Su'7 to max, When nearly set pour
"a We-leG mould.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

Henry reached for his package Of
cigarettes and the traveller, who had
been waiting to see murder done, gave
an exclamation of disgust and walked
into the railway station.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

WANTED-Trustworthy and sctTve
gentlemen or ladies to travel for re-
sponsible, established house in North
Carolina. Monthly sos 90 and expenses.
Position steady. Reference. Enclose
self addressed stamped envelope. The
Dominion Company, Dept. W. Chicago.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

It costs q great deal of money to run
o. pGper like The Progressive Farmer.
If g01G O1Ue anything, send the mGOSGeN
tO-dGu. Don't GGit NntH tomorrow.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

,Os'-Let me- tell you, sir, that poem
-. me a weeks hard labor.
p Tutor who has read iD-Is that allG
ycnnS95 lad tue passing of the sentence,
N0 nave got a month Tit Bits.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21
POETRY
- for TIE PROGRESSIVE FARMER.l
DOLLY OF THE DILL.

Ard 9lIAkuH a oL41Sy SS
Where nature, like an open DOCK,
A varied prospect spread OF sweep
HOd messy dells and cooling snaoes
amid the dingles Of the glades.
,,,b landscape fair I found at last,
0ISnd there. amid the fairest part,
cortsge plain, devoid OF art,
1os nestled N such peaceful rest,
"Snd blended so with ali around,
mat here | had the heaven found.
=, sweet retreat ! 40 matter where
" rosm, and when I'll have TO tear
Trseif away from scenes SO fair
o.. brestke again the CIty's air,
mi long, mid dreams, again to dwell
Where lives sweet Dolly Of the dell.
c,e landscape, varied though it was
With glade, and dell, and dingle
shade,
Was fsted soon to pail and fade,
AID thus confirm what beauty does
When Ger in shape of maiden fair
Surprising all of nature there.
M citv girls, with ertful ways,
'6,csiving. selfish, and untrue,
No suiE can | e'er make TO you
o:n.a now I've Known and passed the
With 6gture's guiless child so pure
That. such as you l can't endure.
n, Who can blame a city man
when arLless nature, suCh as this,
nam make the time One long drawn
biIsa,
sham,
h feels MS pulse and bosom swell
When with sweet Dolly Of the dell9
Her dear, c~oniiing, truthful soul,
:, fresh and pure and free from guile;
Wha5 wonder Gh3t, with her to while
Awav the summer days, there stole
feeli0g hard c check or rein,
But gave tree vent without refrain7
= x = = = X q = =
Fond heart il is enough to know
THAI night we faced the valley view,
And marked the moon against the
blue
While ell was quiet peace below,
That heart OF thine was pledged to
me,
And mine l fondly promised thee.
FIhave harmed thee, gentle child,
Twill not deepen yet the wrong;
Pass on and sing thy gentle song;
And pray for hum who was begulled-
Icould not gait my busy strife
To share thy simple country life.
Would God, sweet child, that I could
share
The simple glee that fills thy heart;
! From eli the worlds illusions part
Would Cd that / could pray thy
prayer,
With living trust so strong and true,
Ana twIne thy roses with my rue.
Would Coz that to my empty home,
Where sOmore shadows come at viii,
And nRught IF solace e'er does fill,
Thy balmy presence there could come,
DispeIllng from that hearthstOne
cod,
The dismal shadows they entold.
All nc! though dear thy love, 'twere
shame
To ba8t so sweet q Flowers bloom
To vase I5s incanse mid my gloom,
think the moonlight touched my
brain
That nlgat, or I'd have pitied thee
Too mu3n to share tiny life with me.
TwOuid be a sin to mate With thee
had no right to ep AK OF love
The eagle mates nos With tire dove.
8uf soon YOU will be fancy free,
I9E, e,er a cherished picture fair
Thou, MD the summer, standing
there.
Sweet child ! you'll soon forget the one
whose r6Vished soul thy simple
ways
EHchanted so those summer days;
64L neer, until this life IA done,
Viii thoughts of thee e'er cease to
dwell,
Thou charming Dolly of the dell.
.. B GWYNN.
The progressive farmer. [volume] (Winston, N.C.) 1886-1904, 1897-09-21

WANTED. Five hundred new sub
scribers to enter our list during this
week.
The PROGRESSIVE FARMER,
Raleigh, n. O.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-03
For Years Sounded Warming to
NGGpshincrs.

From the Baltimore SIN
There is ar old battered tin horn in the
possession of an ancient colored man at
Dalton. Ga. around which are associated
memories of many deeds of violence.
In ante-bellGm days the horn was the
property of Col Ben" Longhridse a
wealthy planter of Murray county. 1t wa;
originally used 10 summon his many slaves
to work AMI to meals. and its welcome
note at sunset was the signal for them to
lest from. the days labors.
After the war the horn became separated
from the LoEghridse family. and from that
time until few months ago was the period
of its stirring history. Murray county has
for years been a stronghold of the moon
sinners" Time after time the revenue Off
GERS made desperate raids on the Illicit dis
iiil@rS. killing ana being killed yet never
entirely subiuing the stubborn mountain
GERS. The mellow note of the old tin horn
would always warn the whisky rebels Of
the approach of their enemies, and many a
good mans death has it presagci
The EOonshneTs would station lus:y
iunSed sentinel on some prominent noun
tun rock. which commanded a view of the
valley below. and the slightest suspicious
symptom in the lover defiles WAS sufficient
10 send the bass echoes of the old horn
hylng. AMI the moonshners themselves
scurryinS to their imp.ovised fortresses
dinei 20 the teeth ana ready 20 take and
rlSH life for what they considered their
rights AMI in the defense of their hearth
stones To the revenues it always bore
the dismal Information that from the next
ciaS or bramble they might expect a slay-
ing voiiey from their hidden foes
The venerable horn is a special reminder
Oh notorious gang which terrorized the
county up 10 within a year ago 1t was
used 70 rally the forces of this gang and
was often the preface to a bloody conflict
between them and the laws representa-
tive.
" hen the gang was finally disposed of
the horn passed into the. Dossessiop of old
ncie Isaac, a typical "befo' de war;
negro, and the old man often brings it out
anu recounts its Interesting history.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-03
SEARCHLIGHT.
Novel Feature of the French Military
ManeuVers.
Tho dol,

SONel Featufe OF the french Military
Maneuvers.
From the Philadelphia Record.
One of the chief objects of the French
military maneuvers held at Velizy, near
Versailles. recently, was to teach soldiers
how to save the wounded in warfare by
night.
When darkness came on word was sup
posed to have been given that many wound
ed men had been left behind on the field of
battle, and the order went forth that search
parties go out and bring in the missing
men. The intention of the authorities was
to make thorough trial of a new search
light apparatus invented by one of the
medical staff of the army, DR.. Mareschal
The light can be fixed on a stand or 1t
can be attached to a man. who can by it's
aid search the darkest recesses of battle
field inaccessible to the rays Of stationary
lamp. The apparatus is light and appears
to consist Of a high-pressure oil lamp with
a powerful reflector behind it, and a handle
to hold it by. the apparatus being fixed as
knapsack to a soldiers back. 1t is claim
ed that by means of this searchiight OBJ
jects can be distinguished in the dark at a
distance of 80 yards.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-03

From the st. Louis Globe Democrat
Although all the pert young business
women are not yet subdued, 1t has been re-
marked in a discussion on the place of
women in commercial work that the aver
age of feminine manners in offices and yari-
GUS Industrial callings has of late years
distinctly improved. One reason of this is
probably that better class of women now
think 1t no degradation to make their own
living. In telephone work they have been
a notable success. Their superiority to men
for telephone exchange operation, particu-
larly In the matters of patience and be-
havior, has been cordially attested by a tel
ephone subscriber in q letter to a New YORK
paper The writer says that II he can help
1t he never uses the telephone on Sunday
1t takes too much out of him. While on
week days, when girls are employed at the
exchange. the service IS second to none in
the country for promptness and courtesy.
on Sundays. when young men are the op-
orators, the subscriber has to await their
pleasure, even In the slackest hours and
besides often wasting much time in getting
connection. submit to the brusque and
not seldom rude manners of the employe.
The telephone officials say-without how
ever. carrying general conviction-tnat the
roughneSS and comparative lack of cultiya-
ton in the voices of their male operators
has possibly as much to do with the dissat-
isfaction of the public with the SUNDAY
service as the uncouthness of their address.
They admit that the female voice lends
itself much more quickly to the influence of
the telephone, which cleans and retines
1t. When to this is added the fact that
young women. as . class. are not SO 'up-
pish' as young men, the preference of the
customers OF the exchange for the former
as telephone operators is understood BY
way of showing that the pert girl does not
always score. an English paper tells of a
young man from London, who, visiting a
northern city, wished to let his friends
know of his safe arrival. He went into a
post Office and inquired If he could send a
telegram direct to London. and how long II
would take. The young woman in attend
ance. who was inclined to be snobbish, cut
short his inquiries with: II am not paid to
answer silly questions" Her face took On
a modified expression when she found her
self compelled to wire the following mes
sage: Arrived safe. Girls here ugly and
bad-tempered."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1897-12-03
A GREAT SHOT.
The Majors Fine Work ParnIyxed the
Hi1hwnyman.

The Majors Fine Work Paralyxed the
Highwnyman.
From the San Francisco Call
II notice." said Maj. Blazem, the other
day, that the police officers of this city do
some remarkably fine work with the re-
volver occasionally"
The remark was made in a tone of voice
loud enough to cause the loafers in the Oc-
cidental Hotel lobby to look up and mani
fest some slight interest in life
Yes. SIR he continued, looking all
around the lobby they do very fair work.
But am somewhat of an adept myself at
that business, as you will own after having
heard my story.
Several years ago-about fifteen, I think
i was riding from San Jose to San Fran
cisco on my safety"
But, my dear major" said. wishing to
call his attention to the fact that safeties
were unknown at that time, unless
err"
you do. sir: damme, you do" he thun-
dered. You are so young, sir that YOU
do not even know that it is unmannerly to
interrupt an older gentleman when he is
talking"
The major grew very red in the face of a
sudden. Then he cleared his throat yio-
lently and began again:
. "As l was saying, l was riding from San
Jose to San Francisco on my safety"-here
he giOwered at me'-when a footpad. or a
wheelpad, should say, held me up at the
point of his pistol.
There was nobody in sight and so I
threw up my hands, just to show him how
small they were.
"He relieved me of $500 a watch that has
been in our family since 132T-'
Before Christ SIR" queried a mild-faced
gentleman on an opposite chair.
NO sir after. retOrted the major. 1.-THE
watch is the identical one by which in later
years the captain of the Mayflower regu-
lated his cabin timepiece. borrowing it from
my ancestor for that purpose.
After going through all my pockets. the
robber made me exchange wheels with him
and then rode off.
IN those days l always carried a long
barreled 3S-calDer revolver with me, and
it came in handy on this occasion.
Il waited until the robber was about fifty
yards ahead of me and then fired not at
him. but at the tire of his wheel
''Of course. l hit it. AS the air began to
OoZe out the rider fell to the ground. OF a
sudden / realized that | had damaged my
own wheel, so | Immediately fired another
shot, aiming directly at the old mark MY
aim was so sure that hit 1t and completely
soldered up the puncture.
81 then captured the robber. who was
stunned more by my prowess than by his
fall, and delivered him over to the au-
thorities."
But, major" I asked, "how was it the
robber overlooked your gun when he went
through your pOckets?"
Sir" he shouted. II carried it in my hat.
Good-day, SIR