The semi-weekly messenger. [volume] (Wilmington, N.C.) 1897-1908, 1897-06-15

Ruling Passion.@Sprockett-we've
got q baby at our house. Handel Bars
You don't say so, Sc or '97c-Boston
Transcript
You never heard of a warship going
to the bottom on her trial trip" Il
suppose h excitement keeps her up"
Truth.
Mistress-You were snoring awfulIy
in the night. Mary. Mary-Yis's: but II
was out OF worrukin' h~ours.-Boston
Transcript.
Have Scribbler. the author. and his
wife mad 1t up?" oh. yes. She now
a what he writes and he eats what
h cooks."-Tit-Bits.
Il hear that Mr.. Savant Is living in
the gratest poverty-practically starv-
ing Can nothing be done for him."
.Oh, yes. His friends began about a
year ago to collect funds for a monu-
ment to him-"-Fliegende Blaetter.
No Easier Way.-"Papa," said Sam
my Snaggs. as he paused. pencil in
hand. how a you make a Greek
CROSSE" Mention the concert of Europe
to him." replied Mr.. Snaggs.-Pitts-
burg Chronicle Telegraph.
An Explanation.-"Doctor.' asked the
seeker after knowledge Of the clergy
man, why do people get on their knees
10 pray instead OF StdnOinR. lneN
want to save their soles." responded the
clever minister.-Harlem Life.
Mr.. Riche-It may be rather out of
place for a father to say ii, but either
of my daughters is worth her weight in
gold. The Count-So? 1 think il is the
stout daughter l love: and yet / have
supposed that my heart went out TO the
petite one.-Boston Transcript.
An neutrality-suspicious. 1
wish our family belonged to the Sal
walton Army. Mamma-Why? Johnny
Because, if we did. | could beat the
drum when l go to Sunday school,
Puck.
The Fond Notwithstanding says
he is such a pretty baby. I'm sure the
poet was right when he said hat
Heaven lies about us in u infancy.
The Uncle (unfeelingly)-But he hould
ave added, so does everybody else"
Life
A Come Down.-"Poor Madge, Be
fore her husband failed she used to
have such an elegant turnout" Yes;
and now she has a bicycle and a bloom
er suit and Won turn out for any
thing less than a trolley car."-Indian-
apolis Journal.
Virgins had to have his telephone
taken out" "Why?' "Well-he had told
his wife they must cut down expenses.
and so she called him up every after
noon to see whether he had gone to
base ball.'-DetrOit Free Press.
In the Tennessee Mountains.-"Did
ye know euben was sick?' NO;
what's the matter with hlm-got the
grip?' NO, sir; it lain no grip. l
reckon he's got a little touch of the
."-Harper's Weekly.
yyro1I onl lau- did Won c1aan Ia eft
night? Did you follow my advice and
begin counting? B-Yes. / counted up
to is, 900. A-And then you fell asleep?
B-No: then it was time to get up
Tit-Bits.
I'm beginning" said Senator Sor-
ghum, Indignantly, Ito think that
there's no such thing as senatorial
courtesy.'' What has happened?" "A
colleague knew exactly how sugar was
going and refused to tell me anything
about it."-Washington Star.
Plain Sailing.-"It seems to me- said
one young woman, that Harold talks
more clearly on the tariff than anyone
else / have ever heard Yes" replied
Miss Cayenne. He has the advantage
of not knowing enough about it to get
his ideas confused. Washington Star.
Irate CustOmer-See here! Thai suit
Of lothe I bought of you yesterday is
full of moth holes. Dealer-Das is all
| recht, mine frient. Moths never eat
| cotton, an ven ladies an shentlemens
| see dose holes dey knows you wears
| only high-priced all-vOol goots.-New
York Weekly.
A Rare Jewel.-"My wife," said the
| young man. in earnest tones. is a
| jewell They all say that" said the
| elderly man, apparently speaking to
~ x-o11 ssp,,t 7 knnu Of cO1lrCp Won
| won't believe it, but she watches me
| take my bicycle to pieces without Of
| fering g. single Observation-Disclosures
oils Journal.
| Mrs Greene-Tell me, aren't there any
| expresses running to your town? Mrs
| Gray-Of course there are; plenty OF
them. Mrs. Greene-My husband has
told me he has seen your husband al
| most every night on his way home, anC
he always had more than he could
carry.-Boston Transcript.
Husband-Did you notice how ill.
tempered my colleague was tonight'
He was annoyed because brought yot
a new set Of jewelry. Now he viii
have to get a new set for his wife, too
Wife-A disagreeable fellow that mar
is. If I were you / would annoy hin
often.-Fliegende Blaetter.
Her Clever Device.-"Flossie didn'
have to write much of a graduating
essay" why not?" The title of i
was so long" What was it," 1T wa:
Whence Does the Human Soul Deriv'
the Remarkable Power Of Investing
External Circumstances With tn
Lurid Hue Of It's Own Feelings ?"-Chi
cago Record.
Twentieth Century owe Scene
Suitor-Ah, dearest Irma, what ecstas,
lies in this sweet passion Of love which
makes the heart f1utter and the pulls
beat faster. Irma (recent graduate Q